#karma must be real and if it is i hope amazing things are coming her way

[sniperdadmaccready]

I finally have a couch 🥹

[the-romantic-lady]

Surprised to hear you like Henry VI and Margaret of Anjou, given that you're a fan of Richard, Duke of York. Isn't that a conflict of interest or something? Lol. What's your opinion on Elizabeth Woodville and the Woodville clan, Margaret Beaufort, Warwick and the Neville clan, and George, Duke of Clarence? (Basically what's your opinion on the rest of the players of the Wars of the Roses lol.)

Gosh, anon you are encouraging me!! I love that you care about my thoughts <3. Alright then, let's start.

I used to be very anti-Margaret of Anjou. Until I started to look at things from her perspective. York was dangerously popular with a lot of children and a formidable wife. Margaret must have felt insecure. Also, there is this theory that Margaret's mentor and confidant William de la Pole, Duke of Suffolk was murdered under the order of the Duke of York. That must have been a tipping point. But I still think that York was the better ruler and person. I will get a lot of hate for this, but women in general were not suitable rulers for the Middle Ages. They were often driven by more personal ideals (Empress Matilda vs. Stephen is a great example and Margaret was no different). Ofc there were men like that too but women seemed to always be like that. As a woman, I understand and the later periods were more suitable for female leadership. York was a much better ruler. He was driven by the stability of the realm rather than his personal issues (he put his own son-in-law in prison and Margaret wouldn't even budge on her failure advisors). And her entitlement was mind-boggling. I love how messed up she was. And Henry...I just feel sorry for him. The Middle Ages also were not a time for artistic and kind kings lol.

Elizabeth Woodville and the Woodville Clan:

As I have said, I pretty much like everyone before 1485 lol. But Elizabeth Woodville was annoying af. That made her interesting but I can't get over how incredibly greedy she was. She was the daughter of a minor gentry and widow of a Lancastrian knight. Edward makes her queen and she abuses that power so much. She has problems with everyone. Warwick, George, Richard, any noble who didn't kiss her arse and even Edward. Queens were meant to level the mind of King. Edward III's queen famously saved French clergy by going on her knees to beg the King for mercy. Ofc that was a bit dramatic but many Queens did this. It was called the Queen's mercy or something like that. But boy was she a hell of a woman. Despite being raised in a pretty privileged household, she was shrewd and survived to the end. She could have learned a thing or two from Cecily Neville about how to put that strong personality to better use but regardless. Also, I love how she was shunned fron Henry Tudor's court when Richard welcomed her to his with open arms. I mean...karma. But all in all, I like her. Its as they say "well behaved women seldom make history". She had flaws (so did the everyone else!) but her character is interesting and admirable. And despite that shaved forehead, she is a gorgeous woman. So I get where Edward was coming from XD The other social climbing members Woodville..not so much. The shameless way that they tried to push themselves in and take hold of power when they had literally fought on the losing Lancastrian side is embarrassing and oh so disgusting. Like Warwick secured the throne for Edward and they were given precedence over him. I just...yeah. John Woodville legit married a 65 year old duchess (he was 19) for money and power. They were a hungry bunch and courting them was Edward IV's biggest mistake and towards the end of his life, I think he saw that.

Margaret Beaufort

I will keep this short since I don't know much about her but I dislike her. I understand that she went through a lot. Her father apparently suicided when she was 1 and that is traumatic. And back then suicide was mocked and disgraced. She ofc blamed the Duke of York....cause at this point why not? She ofc went through a really young and traumatic birth at 13. Her husband was gross and that's that. And we know that Edward kept her son exiled so she couldn't see him. But despite all this, I just don't like her? I suppose its the super impressive Plantagenet women who just make me look at the sleezy and dull Margaret with disdain. And she gives me real phony vibes. Like at times, she just seemed to cosplay Cecily Neville lol. When you see women like Cecily Neville and Margaret of Anjou taking charge in the way they did, Margaret and her deceptive ways are just cringe worthy.

The Earl of Warwick

This man. Just this man. The way that England seemed to revolve around his whims is amazing. He was a real Duke of York stan and so I have to appreciate him. But he was so fearless. Henry VI, Edward IV, Margaret of Anjou, you name it. He stood against them. The Duke of York seemed to be someone he admired but other than that, he fought for himself. He helped Edward take the crown and worked hard to keep Edward's throne. He was embarrassed with the whole secret marriage saga but still stuck by. But Edward clearly forgot who he owed his success too. The man escaped an assassination by Henry VI's men and saved his father and uncle from it. He actually took charge in the first Battle of St. Albans in 1455 because his rivals the Percys were mocking him. I just love him. Ngl, sometimes when I read about him, I just blush. A man if there ever was one. There were so many attempts at disgracing him. He was the Captain of Calais and in that role fought Medieval pirates! And he was ruthless at it. People loved him and he carried that popularity well. I should stop fangirling over a dead guy. I think I made it pretty clear that I love him XD.

Neville clan

I like them too. Warwick's father was pretty much York's best friend and I love him for it. They were also social climbers like the Woodvilles but so much better at it. They didn't have the entitlement that the Woodvilles did and managed their powers well. Cecily Neville was ofc a Neville and she is one of my favorites. One of my favorite thing about them is how courageous they were. Like all of them. Unfortunately, Anne and Isabel are both obscure figures. I wish we knew more about them. They were pushed around like prizes. Good on Richard for giving Anne a position to make her own decision. I feel bad for those girls. Although the York brothers were known to be good looking so lucky them?

George, Duke of Clarence

Ah, George. I love this man. If there was one son of York who inherited his father's glamour and charm, it was George. And I love that he stood up to his brother and sister-in-law. He was sometimes too problematic but I still love that! Glamourous and problematic. How can one not love the man? Although his betrayal of Edward is kind of sad considering that Edward really tried to be like a dad to his brothers. George took Edward's love for granted for too long. His breakdown after his wife's death is really sad too. Interestingly, this seems to be a pattern with the Plantagenet men. They all have breakdowns and downfalls after the death of their wives. Their women are so much stronger emotionally.

I know this was long! I hope you enjoyed the post :D. I would love to know your thoughts too and if you agree or disagree. Seriously, thank you for letting me talk about this. Nothing makes me happier than to discuss these people!

[okaywitheverything]

Can I request a Kakashi x reader where Kakashi and the reader have a unspoken thing between them, like they both know how they feel about each other even through when going through different relationships but it’s just not something they’ve acted on because of ✨ninja life✨ and ✨trauma✨then one of the readers relationships starts moving too fast so kakashi finally confesses. I love your writing btw sorry I went off on a ramble it’s like 4am and I’ve had a lot of energy drinks

A/N: Thank you so much honey! I had a kakashi kick so i decided to write this, Hope you enjoy! Please show it love and I’ll be more than willing to write a second part!

 “I had a fun time too.” You lied straight through your teeth, with a smile on your face to make your statement look more convincing.

You had just returned from your sixth date with Genma, and you were the most cruel human possible for leading him on like this. Given, he was a player back in the academy and broke many hearts but he had now redeemed himself and parted with the playboy ways. Your intuition told you he was genuinely falling for you but you couldn’t reciprocate, constantly giving yourself the excuse of just one more date.

But how to give your heart to him when it already belonged to another?

He pecked your lips lightly and gazed into your eyes, then stepped back and continued, “So I was wondering if you would come back to my place for dinner next Friday?

He looked like a golden retriever yearning for its favourite toy, you didn’t know how to say no to him.

Of course, you weren’t dumb. You knew what he was hinting at. The next level of your relationship was physical intimacy. You were sure this was the longest Genma might have dated someone without indulging in uhh, lovemaking.

You knew he was trying to be patient with you, because you had never gone that far with any of

your previous relationships, third base was foreign territory to you. You knew this was a well known fact among your colleagues but you were over the initial embarrassment now.

But the question was,

Were you ready for that?

He was one of the most sought after bachelors in Konoha, alongside Izumo, Kotetsu, Kakashi-

Kakashi of course.

Kakashi was coolness personified and you were not even kidding. Almost every one wanted to either be him or be with him. Both applied to all possible genders. Even as a kid, he was a once in a millennium prodigy, the pride of ANBU during his youth, famous in every Ninja village across the world. He was a celebrity for goodness sake! He had his own horde of fangirls and fanboys alike. Kakashi had single digit failed missions in an entire record of few hundreds at least. It was almost an insult to give that skilled shinobi a mission below A rank. You both started alongside ay the academy and you were nowhere near his match. Both as an opponent and a partner. That too in both senses, as a team as well as a couple.

You were sure you were one of the many girls pining after him. Sometimes, you gave yourself false hope that even though you weren’t in the same circle at academy, he might have noticed you, crushed on you, felt the same adoration for you.

But who were you kidding? With a exquisite range of beauties lining up at his doorstep to create his progeny, where would you even stand?

“(Y/N) babe? You alright?” Genma asked snapping you out of your thoughts and you almost forgot he was standing in front of you, actually paying you some of his wanted attention and your younger self might have almost felt giddy about it, but you felt nothing but horrible. Horrible because you couldn’t return the enthusiasm and love Genma was offering to you with a pure heart. Horrible because you couldn’t find it in yourself to be brave enough and confess to someone you wanted to be with so much. Horrible because you knew, somewhere deep inside, that your favourite fantasies of love would never come true. But Genma didn’t deserve this either, he didn’t deserve to be treated this way, and the sooner you told him that, the more heartbreak you would be saving both of you from.

“Genma I have mission on Thursday, which might extend up to weeks. I’m sorry-” That was the truth. It might buy you some time as well to figure out what to say to him.

“Hey, it’s okay, not your fault doll. We’ll reschedule after maybe? That sound good?” He gave you a cheeky smile that you loved. Before any of this, you had been friends and he was a gem of a friend. Loyal, true and charismatic. You nodded a genuine smile up at him and suddenly hugged him, he was a good friend after all and you knew nothing would come in the way of that ever.

“Thank you.” You murmured in his chest and he kissed your forehead.

“Anytime.” He replied and left with a smile.

He knew you needed a friend at the moment and that was all he was being then, a good friend.

It was two nights before your mission when Genma suddenly asked you to meet him at the bar. ‘A casual hangout’ he said. But you knew that was obviously not the case.

You had dressed in a simple attire, a top and jeans, the basic only. You had thought it over the previous nights and finally reached the conclusion, you were going to tell Genma the truth. The exact conversation hadn’t played out in your head but you knew what lines to go along.

You would even tell everyone he dumped you and it would be okay if he never wanted to speak to you again cause you didn’t deserve even his friendship for being so ruthless and downright nasty.

But how would you survive without one of your true companions?

Well that was certainly your problem now, not his. Genma was immaculately kind and genuine and you were a cold bitch.

“This is clearly not working (Y/N).”

Well that wasn’t what you were expecting. You knew what he was getting at but juts so you were on the same page you dumbly asked, “What?”

He sighed and looked in your eyes, giving you a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“It’s getting kinda obvious. You do know I can read you quite well and I see there’s something you’re trying to hide, something that so clearly shows. I could tell you were moving on, well trying to at least. You gave your heart to him when we were just kids, while I gave mine to you. Funny how fate works?”

Neither of you laughed.

“But I guess this is some sort of karma. And it’s going to hurt me for a bit of time. But I’ll be okay. I can’t see you like anymore though. I really hope he appreciates all the love you have for him. And comes around soon. But stay in my life nevertheless.”

You didn’t realise when you started crying, but your face had heated up and you streams of tears tried to cool it down.

With a shaking sob, you replied, “I don’t deserve you Genma. But I Know you’ll find  another and be just fine. For your sake, I really hope you do. And Thank you.” You wrapped your arms around him while tears landed on both your shoulders.

It must have been so incredibly hard for him to do this yet he never failed to amaze you. You were proud to be a part of his life. You tilted back and looked in his glazed eyes, stood on your toes and pressed your lips to his, one last pasting kiss. There was so much emotion in it, from both sides that you knew you’d never forget this moment ever.

Genma really knew like the back of his hand, you never even said his name but both knew who you were talking about.

Kakashi always sat at the back of the bar, where he could drink his beer without the prying eyes of others trying to see his face. He rarely drank, lest he was with his friends but his heart was aching right now. He had messed up his mission yesterday because he couldn’t think straight after he saw (Y/N) looking as gorgeous as ever With her sleek (f/c) dress and cherry red lips. He might have drooled, he did actually, but gained his senses when he saw Genma accompanying her. He quickly hid, masking his chakra and looked at the happy couple. It was his fault, if anything for never acting on his feelings.

What good are your worldwide achievements if you don’t have a family to share them with?

Both his parents were taken away from him at a very young age and he had no relatives. Studying too hard, over exerting himself and being bratty became his coping mechanisms. Since his early childhood, Kakashi was very independent and self-confident, at times even appearing arrogant and condescending. Despite that, Kakashi was very perceptive and intuitive, quickly realising the situation for what it was. After his father's death, Kakashi became more stern, aloof and cold toward others, dating was never something he considered important, it didn’t even cross his mind. The only people he ever let into his life were a handful of classmates like Gai, Asuma, maybe even Kurenai to some extent but romance was out of his story, At least he thought it was.

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low Only hate the road when you're missing home Only know you love her when you let her go And you let her go

He first realised his love at some festival being celebrated in Konoha, when his bored eyes saw you all dressed up, beside your group of friends. You were laughing so wholeheartedly that even tears pooled there. He was thankful for whatever had you wheezing so hard. Sure, he always thought you were attractive, he knew how to appreciate beauty, but for some reason that laugh created a domestic picture in his head and he knew wouldn’t mind listening to it again.

That night he thought about you, like really thought about you. Reminiscing about every encounter you both had ever had, and he fell harder for you the same night. He remembered how you approached him after his father’s passing, the only person whose eyes held true sadness apart from his real friends’ circle.

He knew a lot of his admirers left him gifts at his house, expensive chocolates, cards, bouquets but he knew their intentions were never genuine. But he also remembered that among the lot, were homemade cookies and chocolates. They never had a name but he connected the dots when he found out your distant aunt had some sort of bakery. It was conformed when he saw you travelling through Konoha with several baskets in your hands, Your teen self trying to figure the addresses. He might or not have followed you. Some were your aunt’s deliveries while you brought some of them to your friends’ house and one last basket which you left at his doorstep.

You never approached him after to take credit, or with some other purpose. You didn’t even contact him in academy the next day.

He found himself wishing way too often that you did.

As much of a genius as Kakashi was, it took him way too much time, more than he’d like to admit, several years exactly, to realise the extent of his feelings. It happened when you started to date someone. It never crossed his mind why you never dated before but he wished it could go back to that. He caught you with your date kissing in a park and he swore he heard his heart break. Like really, really break. Then the intellectual finally figured out his Love.

And he knew he screwed up.

 You see her when you close your eyes Maybe one day you'll understand why Everything you touch surely dies.

 After that realization, you plagued his thoughts. He thought he would confess if your relationship ended but he was a coward. And he hated himself for it. He knew how shit his reason of losing you if he confessed was, but it was effective. The amount of close people he had lost just amplified his fear. He couldn’t afford to lose you, even if it pained his heart to admire you just from afar.

He was an exceptional ninja and his alert senses identifies your chakra as soon as you entered. Even in casual clothes, you were the prettiest thing he had ever laid eyes on. His gaze followed your short walk to the bar countertop where he found Genma and his mood turned sour. He was once again reminded of all he couldn’t have.

He observed the couple from a few feet behind his crush, and he saw you both hug suddenly. His heart broke all over again when he saw a tear roll down Genma’s cheek and you pulling Genma in a hot, steamy kiss. Though you both weren’t aware, you made quite a scene in the bar and everyone was gazing right at you both. Kakashi quickly paid for his tab and ran out, breathing heavily.

What if Genma proposed? That was a bizarre thought because he knew you’ve been dating for just over a month but Kakashi didn’t know how relationships progressed. That night found him lying awake in his bed and he came to a conclusion.

That he’d be damned if he let you get away without even trying.

A/N: Thanks for making it till the end. I hoped you liked it. Requests are open and if you don’t have any prompt, just comment which character you’d like to see more of and I’ll consider requests of that character. Please reblog and like. I’ll love you if you do.

Until next time.

[purplerose244]

Belonging

Here again for the @toa-secret-santa of this year! So happy to participate again, I love these events! 😍😍 Hello @spellcasterdouxie, I’m your secret santa! Merry Christmas and festivities, hope you like my present! ❤

Summary: In which being stuck in New York to protect a magical being and save the world in the process is no excuse for not celebrating Christmas with your friends.

Also on AO3

So… Nari was a terrible liar.

Extremely powerful being, the purest pretty soul, but horrible at lying.

Douxie didn’t have the slightest idea of what she was plotting, granted that she used to be part of an evil congregation of wizards that wanted to take over using an ancient artifact – meh, like that was the weirdest coming from his friends –, but he was fairly sure that her claim regarding the leaking sink of the bathroom was some sort of decoy.

Did that convince him to ignore those big adorable puppy eyes?

“It looks good to me, but I’m gonna give it a double check just in case!”

“Thank you Douxie, much appreciated! Please make sure everything is working, do not overlook a single thing!” Absolutely not. He was a master wizard, not a beast.

Their little apartment was neither pretty nor particularly clean. Which considering the little money he accumulated over the years with all of his jobs back in Arcadia and given the fact that they were in New York City, was kind of a given. But it had a perfectly functional bathroom, basically a gift from above, or some kind of karma retribution from putting up with three different apocalypses in the same summer – and he had all suspicions that another one was coming, but possibly another season. That being said, he wasn’t sure why with her plant like appearance, Nari with all people was so interested into their sink. Besides maybe for spraying a bit of water over her head – one very curious and endearing scene really, like a pot plant watering itself.

Then again, he wasn’t completely sure why he was going along with it instead of asking directly what was this all about. Maybe he liked to study whatever thought somehow as peculiar as her could come up with. Maybe there was nothing else of particular interest to do while waiting for his mac and cheese to be ready… maybe that little nightmare of his from last night got him a little too down, and doing anything but think about it was a better solution than most. And it was a pretty annoying maybe, because dreams about his master were as common as breathing lately.

He thought he was over it. It was probably too soon… hopefully he was at least getting closer to the not too soon part of it.

One long silence followed, from which he was fairly sure he had heard a few whispers a little lower than Nari’s light tone. Great, what now? Was she actually plotting something?

“Is everything okay over there? Arch? Nari?”

“Fine, everything is fine! Keep checking please!”

“Are you serious?” Okay now it was ridiculous. “Nope, I’m getting over there, and you two better not be up to no good!” They were a surprisingly compatible pair, especially since his familiar had made it his mission to teach her the marvel of pranks – she wasn’t even malicious about it, that made it all even more devious somehow. Douxie left the wrench on the ground, getting out of the bathroom and towards the living room. “You all keep forgetting that I’m the master wizards here, so technically I’m in charge, so if you’re scheming something- Whoa, Mordrax’s miracles!”

The last thing he had expected, after leaving their lonely living room that was made of four faded walls with a random kitchen connected to it, was to get back to it completely transformed into a messy, happy Christmas themed little chamber.

Filled with very familiar faces.

“Merry Christmas, Teach!” Claire almost knocked him off his feet with that hug. She looked radiant, all wrapped up in one big purple sweater with ‘Feeling Wicked Sassy’ written on it – appropriate. Behind her Steve, Toby and Archie were all smiling.

“Sorry, you would not leave the house,” Nari looked all cozy and a little guilty in that big mint green sweater ��� with ‘Every Day is Green Day’ written on it, where did she get that? –, waving at him. “And it felt like claiming we were being attacked by Skrael and Bellroc was a bit excessive.” Thank goodness his roommate and protegee had some common sense – considering his latest adventure, more than him for sure.

Claire giggled, shrugging innocently.

“We honestly hoped you were that bad of a plumber and would give us more time…”

Douxie snickered, because this was ridiculously endearing and he loved it all already.

“Too bad I’m not completely hopeless.”

“Could’ve fooled me!” Steve, it was Steve, not even worth turning around to recognize him. But a random fist bump, that much he could concede – especially with that massive blue sweater ‘Silent Knight, Holey Knight’ he had on, like really what was even that. “Ready to have the best time of your life?”

The master wizard arched an eyebrow.

“Said from you? Should we call the firefighter in advance? Or the police?” The blonde pouted very dramatically, Claire snickered. He had really missed these two. “Wow, this place looks amazing! The landlord can’t see this or she will force me to pay more for the rent.” His wallet was already gasping enough for breath and money. “All this stuff, all the decorations… is this beef?” Ah, that was why it all felt like such a sudden change, this paradisiac scent had definitely not been here before. “It smells delicious!”

“Thank you!” Second shock of the day, but Douxie could hardly blame himself considering the most time he had spent around Jim had been during his huge troll moments – he kinda looked like a twig now in comparison. “I’m pretty well known for my festive feasts.”

“Also known as festeasts!” Toby showed one enthusiastic victory sign, pulling off his orange ‘Rockin’ This Christmas’ with plenty of little gems and stones all around – the forever geologist.

Jim rolled his eyes with a grin.

“Tobes we’re not calling them that.” The Warhammer holder frowned, only to beam when he got handed a spoon for a taste. “I made most of this from home so it’s all ready and warm, but I wanted to make something on the place while I was at it. Freshly made food tastes way better on Christmas.” Toby hummed around the spoon, smacking his lips, then he rubbed his fingers together towards the chef, who caught it as to add more salt.

Douxie couldn’t help but scoot closer, peaking inside. That looked like food. That looked like real, delicious, extremely well-made food.

“What in the world, how did you make that?” Jim snorted.

“You moved on without much of a comment from me turning into a half-troll, a full troll and then back to a human, and this surprises you?”

“My friend, there were Thai leftovers, one instant ramen, an onion and an egg left in the fridge so yes, this surprises me!” All speculations died when he was offered a taste too. “… so it turns out I know nothing of magic. I must bow to the real master wizard here.” If happiness had a flavor it had to be this one. The former trollhunter snickered, giving him a little elbow before going back over his creations. And if the most classic ‘kiss the chef’ apron on him wasn’t already extremely fitting, the cyan sweater underneath reciting ‘I’m In The…’ on the back barely left to the imagination what list was written on the front.

A very well-deserved sign, really.

“Buttsnack’s managed to make these too, take a look!” Steve waved at the little counter that was the only thing remotely looking like a table in this place. And smelling just as heavenly as everything else, there they were, mince pies, just like the ones from Camelot. “But I don’t know if they’re as good because someone slaps my hand every time I- OUCH!! I didn’t even try this time!”

Archie’s tail could be surprisingly useful as a whip, in fact.

“You were thinking about it! So don’t, these are for later.” And wow, if his most loyal companion wasn’t absolutely adorable wearing that little red sweater – ‘Santa Paws’, he was going to complain about it all day long. Douxie wished he hadn’t left his phone in the bathroom. “We’re still waiting for the tree, the last decorations and the music. But we’re almost ready.” So apparently his familiar had been behind all of this. That actually made perfect sense.

Of course this little wizard associate had known this was going to do him good. It was the kind of bond that came with being around each other for over 900 years.

Archie smiled at him, and Douxie couldn’t not grin in return.

“Can’t wait for them! Even thought I did have some when we had that travel… well technically ages ago, we were actually in Camelot, but it wasn’t- Ah forget it, time loops are too confusing.” There was a consensual groan including all of them but Toby and Nari, who just looked at each other and shrugged. “Well, this is awesome, how did you even get everything here so fast?” On second thought, that was more than just bizarre. His eyes crossed Claire’s right away. “You get so tired with transportations through the Shadow Realm usually, and you got to bring along all of these people and decorations?” The thing was, this wasn’t supposed to be possible. Another thing was, Lady Claire of house Nunez was so insanely talented it would had not surprised him.

The girl waved her hand in denial.

“I wish I was at that level, but no. Still, we did travel back and forth pretty quickly.”

“Without magic? How?”

“I should take offense from that highly questioning tone.” Third shock, his poor heart – he came back from the grave once, and he really didn’t recommend it. He was fairly sure the apartment he had rented didn’t include interdimensional portals opening in the middle of the living room. “And from the fact that you humans keep forgetting I invented a perfectly functioning wormhole generator. But please, continue with your predicaments, ignore the scientific feat I’ve accomplished!” For an alien that barely understood human sarcasm, Krel Tarron was made a whole half of it.

As he walked in from the portal, holding one edge of a box filled with Christmas balls, on the other side Zoe stepped in carrying along the rest. And between a black ‘I’m Back, Witches’ sweater and a gray ‘DJ Kleb’ one with four sleeves, it was one curious and fantastic view.

“Yeah yeah, you bent the rules of physics, congratulations!” Zoe’s tense tone implied that she must had heard that complain already. “Stop talking and get working, I’m going the extra mile here!”

“This doesn’t sound like a good time to have a walk.”

“For the love of…!” The pink haired girl let out a muffled scream, let go of her edge of the box – lucky for Krel to have four arms to catch it – and jumped over the master wizard to grab his shoulders. “I hate you so much, you left me alone dealing with all of these new knuckleheads! Like the local dummies weren’t enough!” The collective offended ‘Hey!’ coming from both the Akiridion and the village’s idiot – a marvel that Steve actually responded, fully aware of his status as knucklehead – was somehow even more endearing than funny.

Meanwhile Zoe was still wrinkling his favorite jacket, frowning aggressively at him like the fact that he was out there saving the world was unforgivable – you could say anything about this pink head, but not that she didn’t have priorities.

Douxie snickered, easing the hold onto him.

“Sorry for trying to give my friends a place to live in this crazy wild world, then!”

“… apologies accepted.” Zoe narrowed her eyes. “But only if we finally hunt for niffins and get those forsaken burgers after you did the deed. I’m calling dibs on you.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Besides, you owe me. I didn’t snitch and told that Hex Tech got annihilated and we’re in need of new personnel because someone needed to hide from the big bad villains.” Those blue gems were screaming not to mess this offer up, because it was certainly not going to come back.

Even with a pressure like that, in some way inside of him, Douxie felt freed of a little weight. Despite the distance and everything that had happened, some things stayed the same. So he quite happily held up his fist, smirking at the girl.

“Alright, as soon as this is over with. Deal.” Zoe glared at him a few more seconds. Then she nodded, and finally bumped their knuckles together.

With a thud Krel finally put the box down, sighing soundly.

“Thanks Seklos this is done. I believe we are only missing the dead tree that will be then covered in artificial garnishments as a form of apparent belittlement of nature.” He stayed still for a few seconds, mindlessly throwing a little sphere on the ground that divided in four pieces, generating a portal. “… I feel like I’m getting so accustomed with humans’ savageness that I’m even quite looking forwards to it. Especially for that useless invention called ‘tree’.” He snickered, getting inside the wormhole that disappeared as soon as he was in.

Luckily the impossible dimensional gateway appeared of not leaving any trace behind. And luckily the creature – or elf, demigod, Nari was still a bit of a mystery – most connected to the nature that had just been denigrated was way more interested in whatever chef wiz Jim Lake Jr. was preparing.

“You knubhead, I just told you not to!” Archie’s spiteful voice came along, as apparently Steve had managed to take advantage of the situation – a scientific miracle happening in front of them, fair enough – to finally get himself a mince piece. Only to get slapped to the ground.  “That’s it, until these cool down you’re getting nowhere near! Douxie, out with me, we need to guard the treasure!” That was some attachment for one tray of soft and delicious little pastries.

Douxie shrugged and complied, picking up the meal under the jock’s renovated pout and heading to the balcony. The chilling air got to his nose right away, but he endured, appreciating just the tiniest breath. There was barely space for once person there.

Well, one person and his familiar. He placed the tray on the railing, making sure it didn’t fall.

“How did Jim even get the recipe?” Archie grinned.

“Well, apparently his troll friends did remember a certain meal very appreciated by humans from back then, but they have their own idea on how to make it. I don’t know the details, but I certainly know it involves socks. Plenty of socks.”

“… you want to see Steve’s reaction to them later.”

“I want to see Steve’s reaction to them later with all the others. Christmas is supposed to be a family festivity, right?” His grin disappeared right after. “So… it didn’t sound like you were sleeping too well last night.” Yep. He knew. Of course he knew. He would had even if he didn’t have to habit of sneaking into his bed to get warm. “Something you’d like to talk about?”

Douxie breathed out, gently buffing his fluffy ear.

“I’m fine Arch, not need to get all sensible on me. It was one of the usuals.” He tried a weak smile, not really feeling like keeping everything in. Not with so many people inside, on this particular day. “… you know, thinking it now, somehow it was easier celebrating Christmas on the streets back in Camelot. Getting something good to eat, have fun, that was enough. Considering how tense was everyone in the Pendragon castle it’s not much of a surprise, but still… I wonder if Merlin ever had a proper Christmas in there.” He sighed. “He certainly didn’t while I was around.” The noisy streets of Camelot overlapped NYC’s busy ones. He swallowed a lump into his throat.

That legendary town was such a faraway place right now, coming back from a single memory was a slap from reality. Douxie shivered, taking in a freezing breath, gasping when Archie jumped over his shoulder and curled all around his neck. His fur was nice and warm.

“We have no way of knowing. But one thing’s for sure, that old man got a surprising, unexpected present in any case.” Archie smiled, eyeing him softly. “One very sneaky, very foolish, very brave apprentice.” They had been there, the both of them. And in any possible way, in the good, the bad, and the best, he had found a life to call that way. The one Merlin had asked him about.

The master wizard smiled, snuggling his cheek against his loyal friend.

It didn’t take long, the winter air acted like a freezer over the little pies. But as they went back in, the place had already changed – and that was besides AAARRRGGHH!!, with one gigantic hat on his head, holding up the tree while Blinky, wearing a scarf, was reading a manual on how to decorate it, where did he even get that? –: there was a table, appeared again out of nowhere, with all the most delicious looking dishes placed all over between branches of holly and little bells. Jim and Nari were putting down the last dishes, Steve was clumsily getting the statue of a reindeer to balance over the tv, Toby was checking the lights to make sure they were functioning.

And Claire was suddenly in front of him, beaming, clearly hiding something from behind her back. It immediately grabbed everybody’s attention, like it was some sort of event.

Was it?

“We’ve organized the present exchange for after lunch, but this one you need to put it on now. So, her it is!” She uncovered the secret and- Oh. It was a sweater. It was a sweater. For him. “There you go, you’re officially part of the wool club, a Christmas-limited association only.”

“Founder of the association Nancy Domzalski, mostly because it was Nana who made them all!” Toby caressed the front of his sweater, smiling softly. “She’s that kind of grandma that thinks that everything that’s made with love can bring warmth, and I’m kind of a believer too.” He shrugged, crossing his fingers behind the back of his head. “I know this isn’t your cool punk rock wizardy style, but Nana had her midlife crisis in her own time and I’m not exactly looking forward to one before my very own eyes!” That was probably not a sight a grandchild wanted of their grandma, that was understandable.

It was. It was, right? It was getting a little hard to focus on something, anything that wasn’t a soft bundle of black and navy blue stripes, welcoming and warm, with ‘Fuzzbuckets’ written on it. It was getting weird. A little unsettling even, because he just got out in the cold but his bones weren’t freezing anymore and he felt all fuzzy inside and now his eyes were warm and-

“… oh, curse me, not the waterfalls…!” Centuries spent transitioning from hopeless bard to punk rock guitarist, only to tear up at a random surprise Christmas party.

From there, he didn’t understand much. Only Claire’s probable ‘Aww Douxie!’, Toby’s sudden ‘There’s no Christmas without the sad moment’, Steve’s surprising ‘I know what to do, come on everybody, let’s all hug it out!’. And all of the sudden he was enveloped with so many arms, so many different people he had gotten to know and had managed to befriend and appreciate. That were part of his world, his life, and what was coming for the future.

So when he managed to open his eyes, there was so much to uncover, between a pink head, a scarred eyebrow, a lock of leaves and a paw still so close to his cheek. And it hit him that perhaps there was a reason why Camelot had always felt so far away lately.

That age was over. But this, it felt like it had only begun. Douxie smiled, closing his eyes again.

Embracing how good it felt to belong again.

[jay-m3]

Death Note x Male Reader

Warning: read at your own risk. Will contain smut, manipulation, homophobia and so much more.

The class is so boring! I already know English, ugh… You sighed, watching as the teacher goes on and on about God. You look at the book in front of you and trace over the letters to keep you busy. “Listen to the voice of God then follow it and know that in time you will find your salvation.” The teacher reads the line that you're tracing. If God was real...will people change their behavior? You thought, shrugging your shoulders. You’ll find out once you're dead. “Yagami, are you still with us?” You look over your shoulder to see your best friend being called out. “Can you please translate the following sentence into English.” You cover your mouth to hide your snort and quickly look back to the book, not wanting to be called out. Light is smart, no question asked but sometimes you always see him in la-la land these past couple of months. He might be going through the stage like every teen has where they are stressed and anxious about what to do next with their lives since this is their last year here in this dump. Like you! Your anxiety has risen since you don’t know what can come next and if you can make it in this cruel twisted world but thankfully, Light has got your back and has been helping you sort out your life. 

You want to do that too with Light but...he never lets you in. Even if you were best friends since kids, it’s hard to get the boy to talk about his feelings. You know that it isn’t the ‘what’s next in life’ since you know that he wants to be like his dad in joining the police. If it’s not that then what’s bothering him? Is it about his sexuality? He came out to you three months ago that he’s bisexual. It’s hard to accept your true self and sometimes figuring out what you like and are is very difficult. Nothing is easy. Hell, when you came out to Light a year ago, you thought that you were Pan or bi. It’s been rough but you finally know that you’re gay. It’s hard when you came out to Light but you put your trust in him and now you're glad you did since he was accepting and he also came out to you! 

___

“What is that big brain of yours thinking about?” You gave your toothy smile at the tall brown-haired boy. “Huh? Oh nothing, just hungry.” Light smiles at you, his hand rubs his stomach. You nod your head and point at him. “You got it! I’ll buy us something in the cafeteria then, be right back.” You take out your wallet and start to make your way to the cafeteria. You will do anything in your power to make him happy as much as he makes you happy. Quickly getting the food you run to Light who puts something in his bag. “Hey, whatcha got there?” “That was fast, (Y/N).” He says grabbing the chips and water bottle that you got for him. “Hey, don’t distract me. I see you be sneaky and I want in! Is it money?” You both make your way out of the school gates. “Oh, I just found a notebook. Nothing special.” “Bet. Must be someone’s dairy...is it mine?” Light laughs at your joke and shakes his head. “I’ll show you when we get to my house.”

___

“You should start learning how to drive Light. I can’t be your taxi all the time.” You lock your car once Light and yourself get out. “Not my fault you turned 18 first.” ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah, don’t sweat it. It’s probably the one thing that I can beat you with, Mr. smartass.” You both walk into the Yagami household. “I’m home!” Light calls out. Both of you head to Light’s room and you shut the door and look over to Light to see him take out a notebook with ‘Death Note’ written across it. “Okay, that’s something else.” You say sitting down on his neat clean bed. “Yeah, wait till you know what it says inside of it.”

“...if someone does write a name in that book, does that make them a murderer?” You ask rereading the text carefully, flipping the pages. “No way. Either way, it’s probably a dumb prank.” You nod, giving back the cool looking notebook and grab your bag. “Welp, I gotta go home. I have to be there before my mom chews me out for not taking out the trash this morning.” You say, giving Light a hug. 

___

“Tell your family I said hi.” You called out to Light who nods and closes your car’s door. You watch him get inside and start making your way to your work. It’s nothing special but you love it since it's self employed and you love the outdoors. You get out of your car and park it and make your way to a customer’s front door. Knocking, you can hear a dog barking inside and the owner trying to shush it. You smooth down your shirt when the door opens and you see a female with a German Shepherd on a leash. “Hi, here is Lady and I’ll pay you once you return her like always.” She smiles and gives you the leash. “Like always.” You repeat and start making your way to the next house. Being a dog walker has it’s up and down like any other job. But being around the animals gives you peace and watching people go up to you to ask if they can pet them always brings a smile to your face. It’s nice having human interactions other than your family and the Yagami family. Having six dogs always overwhelms you but it gets you paid well. Stopping in front of a shop that has TV's stacked on each other with sound. You unzip your bag and pull out two water bottles and four plastic water bowls, once you get the dogs settled down, you look at the TV's to see that it was the news. 

"The same assailant who attacked 6 people at a busy shopping district in Shinjuku yesterday has struck again, taking 8 people hostage at this daycare center. His captives include both children and teachers. The police have now identified the suspect as 42-years-old Kuro Otoharada, currently unemployed. We expect negotiations to begin immediately." 

Wow, I wonder how this is going to turn out. You tune in more.

"At the present time, that’s all the police are telling us." Newscaster 1 informs.

"You can’t help but feel concerned for the safety of those hostages." Newscaster 2

"You’re absolutely right. We’ll continue to monitor the situation from here." Newscaster 1

"Thank you for that report. What do you make of this, Mr. Hashimoto?" Newscaster 2

"Well, one can only hope for a quick resolution to this situation." Mr. Hashimoto

I hope everyone turns out okay…

"Wait, we’re seeing something here! Looks like there’s movement at the front entrance!" Newscaster 2

"The hostages are coming out, and they all look to be unharmed! The Special Forces are taking action; they're moving in! We don't know if the suspect's been arrested. Huh?... Yes?... Ok, we now have confirmation. The suspect has been found dead inside! I repeat the suspect is now dead!" Newscaster 1 informs. 

“Oh, shit…” You mumbled out, watching on. The whole thing intrigued you but you snap out of it when the dogs start pulling you away. All you could think about how karma bit him back. What a coincidence, really. 

___

You quickly dodge other students from left to right. You’re sure you're not late for cram school because you set the timer on your radio earlier so you can meet up with Light but like always, you’re a little behind in time. Light wanted to talk to you, and said it’s important. ‘ASAP’ his text read which he only uses with you since your ass knows English. Finally seeing the door to your classroom, you sigh in relief and quickly get in, which was a bad idea since you bumped into one of the schools bully, Sudou. You instantly recoil in fear but kept your head held high. “Sorry.” You mumble out, not even looking at him, even if he cursed at your stupidity. One of the advantages of being best friends with the top student that’s also popular with everyone is that no one really messes with you and acts all buddy with you to get a chance to speak with Light. It’s a curse and a blessing. 

You make your way to Light’s desk since the class hasn’t started. You stood in front of it with a sheepish smile when you noticed that he watched the whole commotion. “If he dies, will anyone miss him?” Light mumbles to you which has you scrunching your face in confusion. That was a weird quest-OH! The notebook. Snorting you play along. Leaning close to his face, you whispered, “You shouldn’t kill people you know. You’ll get busted for sure.” Light doesn’t say anything. You don’t say anything. A second goes by and you both start to chuckle. Your (e/c)  eyes catch his brown eyes and there’s a glint of life in them. Oh, how you missed that special look. It’s been a while. Your face is close to his… You could feel the warmth rising on your cheeks. Your breath falters and the speed of your heart increases. You knew that you have a crush on Light. You don’t know when it started, you just embraced it. It’s stupid really, you know that Light will never see you like that so you never opened your heart to him. The crush was big but now you can easily ignore it since you trained yourself to quickly exterminate feelings for one. It’s just part of being gay. Falling for people that you shouldn’t. Finding someone else gay is an accomplishment, finding someone that’s gay and have feelings for them is amazing and rare. Especially here in Japan but hopefully it will get better. You only had one relationship with a guy and that was the hardest to maintain since your both were closeted. You’re still in the closet sadly, you want to tell your mother who you really are. 

Light Yagami, the boy that befriended you when you moved here. The boy that found you heartbroken when your ex-boyfriend dumped you. The boy that excepted you when you came out and also told you he’s bisexual. The boy that was there for you when your father and brother got murdered. The boy...Why is he getting closer? Light leans close to your ear. His hot breath tickling your exposed skin which sends a shiver down your spine. “It worked.” His voice low and raspy, which gets your blood pumping when he tries to whisper-wait. “What worked?” You stood straight, tilting your head in confusion. “Kurou Otocharada.” He says which has you reeling back in memories of today and finally connected the dots from the man that died to the conversation you two have been talking about. Your mouth instantly dropped and you look at Light wide-eyed. His eyes bore into your soul like he’s expecting something, your reaction of course. You know that he knows he reads others well by what he knows. He knew you for years and he knows how you react from stuff that he imprinted in his head. This is no different. “How...I want to see.” You slowly say. He was about to say something until the teacher walked in. “Everyone, sit down in your seats.”

You tapped twice on Light's desk with your forefinger. A sign that you both came up with as a secret code for; later, yes, be quiet and your favorite, I’m so gay. The last one, of course, is from you. Light only agreed because it amused him when you both go somewhere and get served by a hot dude when you both decide to eat out. You went to your assigned seat and glanced at Light to see him tap his own forefinger twice. You guess it's either later as conformation or to be quiet. Quickly, you turn your attention back to the front. Light already knows you, you know what Light expects from you. Of course, you will be quiet. 

___

“I’m still in a space in my mind where I can’t believe it.” You say, walking next to Light to a convenience store. “To be honest with you, I’m the same. I need to know if yesterday was a coincidence or not.” Light sighs out, slowing down his pace since your short legs can’t keep up. You can’t help but swallow a lump in your throat that just formed. Is he really thinking to use that thing to actually see if it’s real? If it is then, what’s next? You look at Light from the corner of your eyes and breathe in a shaky breath. Light trusted you by letting you know what he thinks happened yesterday. He trusts you, you should trust him also. “Same.”

“Hey, baby where are you going?” You and Light both glance at a man on his motorcycle with his peers bothering a woman. Light nudges you to the door and you quickly walk in. You split from Light to go to the chip aisle and guiltily pick out your chips. You wish you can help that lady out but the guy has his gang around him. Even if one person steps up, no one will follow. That’s how bad the world is. “Takuo look out!” You quickly look up and see a truck hitting the guy that was molesting the girl at full speed. You gasp and drop the chips and make your way to Light that was standing in front of the magazine aisle. You look over at Light to see his surprise and shocked face. His hands gripping the Death note. Your heart dropped and your breathing came out labored. 

___

“What a nice surprise! I wasn't expecting you home so early.” Light’s mom greeted her son once he stepped into their house.  Light smiles at his mom, the memory of (Y/N) having his family car for the night instead of his mother came to mind. “Yeah. Hi mom, it’s because…huh?” When his mother extended her hands, Light knew what she wanted. “Oh, the results of the nationwide exams.” Light pulls his bag in front of him to fish it out. “I’ve been waiting all day.” She says, excited to see what her brilliant son brought to the household. “Here. (Y/N) says hi by the way.” Light gives his exam scores to his mother and starts making his way to his room. “Goodness! Number one again! These are the highest scores you’ve had. Is it because you started to study with (Y/N) so much?” His mom asks, even though she knows the answer. The last couple of days (Y/N) spent so much time with Light to study and she would hear them, more like (Y/N), laugh. “Yeah. I'm going to study in my room so please don't interrupt me, ok?” Light says, heading up the stairs. “Where is (Y/N)?” Light turns to his mother and tells her, “He took the car to cram school and his mother called she was needed in the hospital for a shift so she needed the car fast.” And with that, he went inside his room and locked the door. 

He immediately grabs the Death Note, grabs a pen and starts writing names down. For a while, he stops and starts to examine the names he has written and starts to laugh. He can’t believe he holds something so surreal. “You’ve taken quite a liking to it.” Light looks behind him and instantly yells and falls down when his eyes meet with a monster. “No reason to act surprised. I am Shinigami, Ryuk. That used to be my notebook. Judging by your laughter, you've already figured out that what you have is no ordinary notebook.” Ryuk, the Shinigami says, watching the human in front of him stand to his full height. “Shinigami, God of death, huh? Well, I’m not surprised. In fact...Ryuk, I’ve been waiting for you.” Light gets up from the floor. “Oh?” Ryuk gave a surprised face, watching the human with interest. “I've already figured out that this Death Note that I've found is real. It didn't take me long. And now that I've witnessed the proof of its power, I only feel more confident in what I'm gonna do.” Light says, taking in the Shinigami in. He never has seen a God of Death. “That's interesting. I certainly wasn't expecting this. Several Death Notes have made their way into the human world in the past, but you're the first to have written this many names. Look at how many people you’ve killed in only five days. Most are reluctant to write this much.” As Ryuk says this, Light is thinking of a male that has pointed out many things about the Death Note. ”I've already prepared myself, Ryuk. I used the notebook even though I knew it belonged to a Shinigami, and now that Shinigami has come. So what will happen to me? You're here to take my soul, right?” 

“Hmm, what do you mean? Is that some fantasy you humans came up with? I'm not gonna do anything to you. The notebook becomes part of the human realm from the very moment it touches the earth. In other words, the notebook is now yours.” Ryuk explains, looking at Light Yagami's lifespan. “This...is mine?” Light asks, surprised that the Death Note is starting to get his life more interesting. “If you don't want it, just give it to someone else. But if you give it away, I'd have no choice but to erase your memories of the notebook.” Light scoffs in his head, who will give up a Death Note? Even if he did, Light knows no one to carry out his plans. (Y/N) might be a choice if Light was there to push him. He knows the other male will follow his lead. “So, then, you're saying I can use the Death Note all I want and I won't be punished?”

“Let's just say this, you will feel the fear and pain known only to humans who have used the notebook. And when it's your time to die, it will fall on me to write your name in my Death Note. Be warned, any human who's used a Death Note can neither go to heaven nor hell for eternity. That's all. Now you have something to look forward to after you die.” Ryuk laughs at the end, knowing well how humans have died. A knock sounded behind the door to his bedroom and Light let out a confirmation that he heard the other person. “Light?” His mother calls him. Light looks at Ryuk to try and figure out how to hide the 8 foot Shinigami. Apparently, Ryuk saw the annoyed look that the human had on his face. “It’ll be alright. Answer it.” Ryuk eggs on, watching as Light slowly makes it to the door. “What is it?” Light asks, making sure that the door isn’t open enough to see the death god in his room. 

“I thought you'd like some apples the neighbors brought them over for us. Why on earth is it so dark in your room? You'll ruin your eyesight.” Light looks over his shoulder in surprise. What’s going on? Mom can’t see him? He didn’t say anything, just grabbed the basket of apples from his mother and shut the door. He places the apples down and sits down on his chair by the computer while watching the shinigami examining the apples. “That notebook you found originally belonged to me, and since you're now using it, you are the only one able to see me, and of course, my voice can only be heard by you. In other words, the Death Note is the bond between Light, the human and Ryuk, the Shinigami.” Ryuk takes a big bite out of the delicious smelling fruit. “Yum.” He says, tasting the juices exploding in his mouth. Light looks at the notebook that was on his desk. 

“I just have one more question I wanna ask you. Why was I chosen for this?” Light looks back at the tall figure only to see Ryuk shoving down more apples down his throat. “Hey, are you even listening?” Light’s jaw clenches. “Apples in the human world are worth the trip. What's the best way to describe these? Juicy?” Ryuk mumbles out, more to himself. “Just answer my question.” Light asks, well more like demands. Scoffing, Ryuk looks at the human, “I didn't choose you. Don't you see? This is all just an accident. You actually thought you were chosen because you're so smart or something? Don't be so vain. It just happened to fall around here, and you just happened to pick it up. And that's all there is to it. That's why I wrote the instructions in English, the most popular language in the human world.” “Then why did you drop it in the first place? You even wrote down specific instructions, so don't try telling me this was an accident!” 

“You're asking me why? I did it 'cause I was bored.” Ryuk answers, not bothered by the human’s anger, more like amused. “You were bored?” Light deadpans, bothered by the shinigami's truth. The mind of the human racks for an answer but all in all, boredom leads to two different things. Happiness or depression. “The truth is Shinigami haven't got much to do these days. Most of the time we're either taking naps or gambling. If you take the time to write names in your Death Note, the others just laugh at you for working so hard. Even if you wrote the name of another Shinigami, it'd be pointless because they wouldn't die. And since we live in the Shinigami Realm, it brings us no amusement to kill those in the human world either. So I figured I'd have more fun if I came down here myself. Anyway, I'm surprised at how many names you've written, but I wanna know why you only wrote the cause of death for that guy who was hit by the truck.”

“If you don't write down the cause of death, the victim dies of a heart attack, and that's probably the best thing about the Death Note, Ryuk. You see, I've already exhausted the list of the world's major criminals, and eventually, I'm going to get rid of them all.” Light answers the Shinigami, not only for the guy that was hit by the truck but for all the names that he written down in the Death Note. “What's the point of doing that?” Ryuk questions, eating all this information up in his mind. “It's only a matter of time before people figure out that these criminals are being eliminated by someone. I want the world to know of my existence. That there's someone passing righteous judgement on the wicked!” Light can feel excitement pass through his body once more. The adrenaline kicking in. “Why even bother? What are you trying to achieve by passing judgement on them? I mean, why do you care?” Ryuk questions further, who knew watching a human do something passionate be so entertaining? “Because… I've been bored too. I wasn't ready to believe it at first, but it's obvious now. There's something about the Death Note itself that makes humans want to try it out at least once.” Light starts to have memories of all the times he just watched people do horrible things. How a boy by the name of (Y/n) got bullied because of his race. 

-Flash back after Taruo’s death-

He remembers how (Y/n) pulls him out of the store and into an alleyway. His mind whirling with thoughts. His body was in a state of shock of not only just the guy that was harassing the lady but also the guy that was holding hostages. “I killed them both. I really… I killed two men.” He mumbles out, leaning on (Y/n) for support. “I...it worked.” (Y/n) mumbles out, disbelief written on his face. “Those were human lives, Light! You can go to jail!” (Y/n) gasps out, letting Light lean onto the wall behind him so he can ground himself. It won't be overlooked. Besides, who am I to pass judgement on others? Uhh… no, no wait. Maybe I'm wrong. This is exactly what I've been thinking about lately. Light thinks, looking over at a shaking 18 year old. “This world is rotting, and those who are making it rot deserve to die.” Light says, getting the attention of the smaller male. “What are you talking about Light?” “Someone has to do it, so why not me?” Light straightens out, catching his breath from the adrenaline coursing through his body. “Light, this is…” He can see the other thinking it over. Can see the fear in his eyes. He doesn’t want to see that. “You're sacrificing your mind and soul!” (Y/n) whisper yells, looking at the alley's exit, in case someone hears. “It’s worth it.” Light spits out, watching the fear of the older decrease. “Because the world can't go on like this.” Light ends the conversation, watching the fear clear from his friends eyes and something new awakens Light when the fear gets replaced by amazement. 

-Flash back in the classroom-

I've wondered… what if someone else picked up this notebook. Light scans the room, watching teens his age talking to each other. Is there anyone out there, other than me, who would be willing to eliminate the vermin from the world? If I don't do it, then who will? His eyes land on his childhood friend who gets up from his seat and makes his way over to Light. The (e/c) eyed male slips a piece of paper on his desk, leaning close to Light so no one can see them. He turns over the paper to show letters that form words. Toki Kark… Realization crosses Light’s eyes and he looks over at the short male in front of him. This person is the one that killed (Y/n)’s father and younger brother.

-Flash back in Light’s room-

Both Light and (Y/n) look at the notebook. Both came in here without any conversation. Slowly, Light picks up a pen and writes down, ‘Toki Kark’. He lays down the pen and both pairs of eyes tune on to Light's watch that you gave him for his birthday. That's just it; there's no one, but I can do it. After a minute passes by, Light looks at (Y/n) who has tears running down his cheeks. The older boy gets up from Light’s bed and gets on his knees in front of Light. Hands gripping Light’s thigh, (Y/n)’s eyes met with Light’s. “Thank you, Light… I owe you my life.” The boy whispers out, bowing at the taller man’s feet. I'm the only one who can. I'll do it, using the Death Note, I'll change the world.

-Flash back ends-

“At first, I wrote the names of the worst criminals I could think of. Like I was cleaning up the world, one name at a time, so that eventually no one will ever do anything evil again. And while the truly guilty ones who deserve to be punished for their crimes die of heart attacks, the people who are less guilty but who still make trouble for others will slowly be erased through disease and accidental death. Then and only then the world will start moving in the right direction. It'll be a new world, free of injustice, and populated by people who I've judged to be honest, kind, and hardworking.” Light explains, closing the Death Note. A shiver runs down his back, remembering how good it felt to see (Y/n) on his knees, hope in his eyes looking at him. No one else, but him. “But if you did that, it would make you the only bad person left.” Ryuk counters, watching a gleam cross over the human’s face. “Huh? I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm a hard working honor student considered to be one of Japan's best and brightest. And I… I will become the God of this New World.”

It's just as I thought, humans are so interesting. Ryuk chuckles to himself. 

[pinkykitten]

meet & greet - part 1

2845: EXILE

synopsis: It’s the year 2845. A year where Earth is in shambles and space is the new frontier. You are sent along with other cadets to a distress call about some type of unknown creature. You are new as an engineer on the ship Shiganshina and you have to work for your boss and leader of your group Levi Ackerman. But remember, in space no one can hear you scream.

pairing: levi ackerman x female! reader words: 3,406(　〇□〇） genre: fluff, space au, series, future au, romance, comedy 

a/n: this is my first au series. my sis is obssessed w the alien franchise and she showed me alien isolation and it was so good she watched it like all the time and she saw markipliers game through so im excited to show yall my idea, hope yall like it. hope u like some sexy space levi cuz i know i do. 

You remembered what your father taught you - how to create with your hands. How in your mind you felt lost and insignificant in this vast existence called space. But he explained to you that you could be so much more. With your help people can depend on you and believe in you and that makes you important. That makes hard work payed off when you are there for someone. 

“Hey rookie, make sure to get those screws in. We don’t want this compartment tearing apart.” Hannes, your co-worker, ordered you. 

You wiped the grease from your forehead. Sweat was dripping down your face. “How many times do I gotta tell you this, Hannes, just because I’m new to this job doesn’t mean I don’t know how to seal a door.” You banged the object and rolled your eyes and the insensitive words of that man. He thought he owned the business. “Besides, once I get enough cash, I can buy my own ship and head on out of here like a-”

“-person’s hair caught on fire,” Hannes chuckled. “We know this. You tell us every time.”

You pushed yourself up to get yourself a cup of coffee. “It’s true though, I’m gonna do.” You bit your gloves off as you scratched the back of your head. “Somehow.” It was difficult finding jobs for engineers. Every thing was growing and getting more modern as the days went by. Now robots took care of things and did what you could do but 10 times faster, better, and more work. Plus, you had limited knowledge, you needed to be trained more but there was only so much your old man taught you. “I already know how I’m going to decorate it and the speed.” You whistled. “That baby is going to go faster than a meteorite.” There were stars in your eyes. It was all you ever dreamed of, ever since you were a little girl. It was all you wanted to do. Build things and be on your own. Making your own rules and being your own person. 

You picked up your wrench and went under the compartment to take a look at its legs. 

“Um, Y/N. There’s someone here to see you.” Hannes said. 

You rolled out from under to see your best friend who is like your little brother, Eren, with his two pals, Mikasa and Armin. “No way! Hey guys!” You ran to them for a hug. “I haven’t seen you guys in like 2 years!”

Eren smiled wide as he brought you aside. “Yeah, its been a while.”

“Why are you getting so tall squirt?” You ruffled his chocolate brown hair. You and Eren knew each other as little kids. His father was a doctor and was acquainted with your father. From time to time they worked together. 

“Must be all that food we eat at the academy!” Armin said with a cheerful spirit. 

That’s when you took one look at their attire and saw all of them wearing their space academy suits and that’s when you knew Eren came here to change your mind. 

You shook your head as you walked away to look for parts. 

“Y/N! Where are you going? Y/N!” Eren called out for you. 

“Nice going really subtle.” Mikasa smacked Armin.

“What?” The little sunshine was lost. 

Ever since Eren got into the space academy he had been trying to get you enrolled as well. It was his dream and all but not yours. You didn’t want to be stuck in a room with entitled brats that think they know it all when they really didn’t. It wasn’t your calling and you didn’t want to go and nothing, nobody could change your mind. 

“Please Y/N, listen up.” Eren helped you pick up the box of parts. 

“Why should I? I can’t believe the only reason you would show up and see your friend is to convince her to do something she doesn’t want to do.”

“That’s not true. It’s not like that,” Eren tried to explain. 

“So you didn’t come over here to change my mind?” 

Eren was silent but then gave in, “Okay, yes. But it’s because we need you!”

“Sure,” you said sarcastically. “Like I’ve never heard that before.”

Mikasa cornered you and slapped her hands on the wall near your face. “Listen to what he has to say.”

“Eren you better come grab your friend before I throw hands on a kid.” You gave a warning look. 

You served them coffee as you sat and talked. “What do you need me for?”

“They’ve seen the way you work. They think you’re incredible and one of the best which you are to me and they want you on their team.”

“What makes you think I’m going to say yes?”

“We got in a call, a distress call from one of Warrior’s ships, Marley. One of our own. It’s a real emergency and it sounds like they are in real distress. They’re far away and on our radar it shows the ship is in critical condition. Warrior is sending people out to rescue those from Marley.” Armin reasoned. 

“And why do you need me? Can’t Warrior do it themselves? They’ve got the people and they’ve sure got the money.”

They go silent and Mikasa places her hand on Eren’s knee. “The call that we got from one of our own said that something on the ship was dangerous to the crew. We need capable men and women on this job. Warrior has you in their files and they’ve been watching you on how you react to things. They feel you are really fit for this job.” 

You shook your head, “no. I gotta get back to reality. I got so much stuff on my mind that I have to do.”

“Wait!” Eren pulled your sleeve. “They’re willing to pay a lot.” 

You bit your lip. You couldn’t resist.

As you walked into the classy headquarters you regretted a bit coming here. Deep down you really didn’t know what danger could they have meant. 

“Hello sir, here is Y/N L/N. She is very strong and highly capable to complete this mission.” Eren saluted to what seemed to be the boss of Warrior.

“Hello there Y/N. We were expecting you,” the man was tall and had short blonde hair. The bangs were split apart and he wore glasses. He gave his hand for you to shake. “I’m Zeke.”

“Nice to meet you Zeke. This a nice place you got here.”

“Thank you, now without further a do I would like to show you the crew that will be assisting you on this mission.”

“There’s more?” You gulped. You were not that spontaneous at working together with others. You had many ideas and usually that clashed with peoples opinions. 

“Yes indeed. You will need the help,” Zeke chuckled. “I’ve seen your work that you do. You’re the one who created that electromagnetic pull to connect and pull together the two trains. I’m very impressed.”

“It’s just, stuff I learned from my pops,” you followed Zeke. Every corner you took amazed you more. Chandelier upon chandelier, buttons leading to new discoveries. You were so curious! 

“I’m sure Eren told you about the distress call and the mission in itself?”

“Yeah, he told me a little about it. It sounds real terrifying. I hope the people are okay.”

Zeke smiled, “that’s why we need people like you that care enough to go save them. Now your crew that you’ll be working on is called the special operation squad, created by their captain of their ship, Erwin Smith.” He gave you a pad to look at captain Erwin’s photo. He looked very handsome and charming. His eyebrows thick and a face of seriousness. You glimpsed over his information and handed it back to Zeke. 

“Looks tough.”

“Indeed he is, he once landed a plain when it ran out of power. It was just falling down to the surface and he managed to let the legs stick out the right moment that it didn’t even have a scratch.”

“Wow.”

“We have Eld Jinn, Oluo Bozado, Petra Ral, and Gunther Schultz. They graduated at the top of their classes. This will also be their first mission.”

You saw their pictures and couldn’t believe one of them was that age.

“We have Hange Zoe, smarty that one. And second in command, Levi Ackerman. He is amazing under pressure and is very strong. He is one of our best.”

You saw his complexion and he had bags under his eyes. Not what you were expecting, “he looks short.” You popped gum in your mouth.

“He is but very, very, scary. And he is going to teach you and be beside you mostly during the procedure just so you can understand and get a taste.”

“I think I can handle this myself besides why would I want to take orders from someone half my size.” You laughed as walked right into Levi. 

He raised his brow, “you were saying.” His voice was deep and gruff and he truly looked like he could kill you.”

“Yes, here is the crew. Special operation squad I want you to meet your newest member Y/N L/N.” Zeke presented them to you. 

You waved awkwardly. They all looked like they could eat you alive. 

Oluo walked over with his hands in his pockets, “I hope you can keep up you little,” he bit his lip and started choking.

“Karma,” you smirked. 

“Don’t listen to that idiot. I’m just glad to have another girl on the team! Yay!” Petra ran and high fived you. 

“Hey what about me?” Hange pouted. 

“Fine you too.” Petra gave her a high five. 

“Sir, if I may have a word. We think we might have found a way to get into the breach. Since the power is down there may be a way we can open the latched door and connect Shigashina to Marley.” Erwin walked Zeke over to the map on the screen.

“Actually that won’t work.” You spoke up.

“Who is she?” Erwin questioned. 

“See,” you pulled the blue print of Marley to the crew. “There is only a limited power left on that ship circulating certain items on it and is whats keeping the ship staying up. Light, vents, door, you get the point. If we try to open the gate to connect the two ships all the power left will go to that door. So instead we go over to Marley and get in our suits. Physically walk to Marley and try to open a small vent or door there. It will be safe because we’ll be hooked. I’ve done it many times...Names Y/N L/N.” You shook Erwin’s hand. “And I’m your newest crew member.”

Everyone cooed and awwed at your ability. It was like you said the best comeback. You looked to see Levi not smile but his eyes did the talking. You could tell he was proud of you. 

“Excellent work Y/N. I knew you were made for this job. Levi, make sure you teach her more. She is already a great learner.” Zeke said. 

Hange pushed you to Levi and you wrapped your arms around his head for support. “I guess you’re my student now. Don’t mess this up.”

You weren’t a fond of this amazing hero Levi. 

“Has she heard the call yet?” Erwin asked. 

“No i haven’t.”

The call was shaky at first but then a girls voice came on, “Hello Warrior. This is Marley in the midst of completing the Warrior program. Day 34. Every thing was fine at first. But then everything went to Hell.” There was a bang in the background. “I don’t have much time and I don’t know if I’ll be alive but we need assistance here, asap! Something is here, its coming and its killing! We need someone quick! Please!” It cuts off with a roar and then silence. 

Your heart is beating fast and you feel faint. You take a seat, “that’s awful.” Were you really ready for this mission? “Why did they go there in the first place?”

“To look for more planets that contain life of course. Isn’t that what its always about.” Zeke explained. 

“Our mission crew, is to rescue Marley and bring as many home to safety. We do our best and we make sure we take down whatever that threat may be so it doesn’t come to the population.”

You ship Shiganshina was being loaded with supplies. Gun were being transported and you almost felt your throat go dry. You tried to keep a tough face but you were never in a situation like this. 

“You okay?” Levi asked. 

He startled you with the suddenness. “Will we be using those?”

Levi saw the fear in your eyes and patted your back, “only if we need to.” He handed you a black space suit. “For you. Put it on, were going to be ready in about 5.”

As you put on the skin tight space suit you began to realize how real this really was. It frightened you and made you want to go back to where it was safe. But you made a promise. Your father taught you to help people and these people needed your help. 

Being and engineer you fell in love with Shiganshina. It was an older model ship but it was redone to look modern. It was bigger than any ship you ever seen that it took more than 20 people to pilot this thing. It was so gorgeous to you every aspect of it. “I’m in love.”

“Did you know that this was the first ship of its kind to be made?” Hange Zoe spat out facts. Zeke was right, she was very smart. 

“It’s so special,” your fingertips grazed the cool metal of the ship. 

Waling into the chilling area you saw the crew playing ping pong and reading. It was announced that the ship took off. You grabbed a coffee and sat next to Eld. 

“Man the way you gave it to Erwin!” Oluo joked. “He looked like he pooped himself!” He laughed. Petra came and sat on his lap. “Don’t act like you’re so cool. You always copy Levi.”

Gunther almost died laughing. “She got you there dude.”

“So this is your guys first mission too. Are you scared?”

“Why are you? Then maybe you shouldn’t be on this ship.” Oluo eyed you down. 

Petra smacked his head, “stop being a jerk! Y/N is part of us now. I am a little scared but I know I am ready to prove myself to Warrior.”

“At least you had training. I’m just learning as I go.”

“I’ll teach you the best way I can.” Levi suddenly appeared holding his cup of coffee odd. “You just have to be teachable.”

“I am!” You were getting aggravated. You were equal to them and you had to start believing it. 

“Psst,” Eld tapped you. “Don’t worry, I’m a little scared too. I’ve got a wife and two kids back at home.” Eld showed you a picture of them in his locket. 

You grinned, “they are a beautiful family. I’m sure you’re making them proud. Thanks by the way. I’m glad someone else is scared around here.”

You scooped the rest of your stew out of your cup as the others bursted out laughing while saying stories of their training. 

“Remember you fell in the sewer?” Hange chuckled as she picked up the dishes to put away in the sink. “That was pretty gross my man.” 

Gunther rolled his eyes, “I got all that crap in my hair for like months. It was not funny and you know it.”

“What about when Eren slipped and did a split when he was talking to that chick?” Levi recalled, sipping his tea in a strange manner. 

“He did a split?” You almost choked on a piece of meat. “That behemoth?”

“Ha ha very funny.” Erwin said sarcastically. “I thought she was endgame and that was so humiliating.”

“You still went on a date though.” Oluo said, “I remember she threw that cake on your face.”

You raised your brow and tried to hold in your chuckle. “What? She did that to you? Why?”

“It’s because-” Levi started. 

“No let me tell it,” Hange butted in. “Erwin, I don’t think this is gonna work.” She impersonated the lady in a valley girl voice. “Like, you are too much in your job and you will never make time for me. I need a man who will spoil me and who will make me,” they all yelled in unison, “their sexy, little, queen of a thang!”

Oluo banged on the table, cackling loud, tears running down his face. Hange fell on the floor while Erwin was trying to cover his face to hide the blush. You laughed so hard you flipped your bowl. “Oh crap!” You looked and saw a tiny hint of a smile on Levi’s face. It was a different look and you liked it. He looked cute and it made you happy. 

“You finished?” He asked. 

“Yeah,” you yawned. “I’mma hit the showers.”

You couldn't go to sleep. Tossing and turning you had all these expectations of what this mission entailed. Some were excited while some were terrified of the danger that laid on ship Marley. You didn’t know what to expect. 

Sweat dripped down your back and your heart pounded fast. You shot up and breathed deeply. 

Going to the kitchen you were looking for milk to drink to help with your insomnia. You were searching the refrigerator. 

“What are you doing up?”

You shrieked as you jumped. It was Levi, leaning against the counter. “Oh my God, you scared me!” You clutched your heart. 

“Couldn’t sleep?”

You nodded, “is it that obvious?”

He peered down to the carton of milk. “Eld told me what you two talked about.” Levi crossed his arms and you saw his muscles trying to rip out of his hoodie. “Its okay to be scared. If you’re not scared then you’re not human and when you’re doing this type of job you need everything to remind you that you still are. Besides, I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

You were silent because no one had ever said that to you. But you wondered if he was genuine. “I’ve never left that garage I worked at. Traveling space like this its always something I wanted but I’m just - the unknown is whats terrifying. I’m scared that I’ve wanted this for so long, what if its not what I expected? What if I fail?”

“That’s why you have to try it though, its to see what you feel about something. Because you’ll live your life not knowing and that being a mystery, and that is the worst feeling ever.”

“Yeah,” you scratched the back of your head. 

“Give me your hand, I want to show you something?” Levi outstretched his hand to you. 

“Where are you taking me?”

“I want to show you something amazing, idiot just take the dang hand.” 

You clutched his palm and he made his way to the window of the ship. It was big and wide. It was as if the world was laid out in front of you. 

“Wow,” you said amazed. Your eyes widened. The amazing galaxies and space reflected into your eyes. The sun was a little far way and was bright and beautiful. “Its so...perfect.”

“Right?” Levi leaned against the wall. “That’s kinda about the good thing about this job. The view is unbeatable.”

“I’ll say.” You smirked. “To think we are just a tiny part of this bigger picture. Makes you feel insignificant.”

“No, to me it makes me feel lucky. Lucky that I’m alive to witness something this great.”

You grabbed a hold of Levi’s hand, still looking at the space. “Thank you Levi.” Tears fell down your face. 

Levi looked shocked and was about to ask but your look turned into something that was horrifying. You covered your mouth as you gasped. “What happened?”

He gazed to where you were pointing and his eyes widened. He ran and shouted and he went to go get the crew. 

The ship Marley was there. Out of power, just floating like a lump of rock in the middle of space. It pieces broken and looking ruined. Something was terribly wrong. 

a/n: oooh spooky lol i wonder whats gonna happen. phew that was a lot of writing i hope u guys enjoy it bc it means so much to me. but i mean u all can tell that levi is ready to drop everything for y/n, they already having heart eyes!!!

Tag list: @carat-bebe, @angelgl16, @perfectlybeautifulsuit, @hyehoney, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly, @totally-alexa21, @creamy-pasta-boi, @multireese, @fanfictionrecommendations-com, @prentisskelley, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople, @collectiveyou, @wtfisalltherandoms, @dirbel, @eastcoasthaven, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories, @fandomchick80, @awkwardspontaneity​

wanna be tagged in my crap? comment!

Please Reblog, like or comment! It means a lot to me and I truly appreciate it:)

[julessworldd]

Little Rose ch. 3

Sorry for the late update, I was stuck between a short or long chapter.. Warnings: Pure fluff, maybe one sad part if you look hard enough. mentions of alochol, sex, pregnacy. Hope you enjoy! I might need a duff’s hoe help for the next part. I’m thinking about a groupie showing up :)

Axl made me take a few days off after Duff announced his engagement to Mandy. I think he finally put two and two together, figured out I had feelings for his bass player. He didn’t say much when he dropped me off, he stayed and held me forever. He didn’t show any anger when he was at my apartment, but I’m sure some alleyway was destroyed from an Axl twister.

A knock on the door, tore me from my thoughts. I looked out the peephole, it was Izzy. I swung the door opened and planted myself to him, “Hey kid”, Izzy said, rubbing my back. “Okay, let me and the bootleggers in”, Izzy joked as I still had him in the hallway. I pulled a blue Johnny Bootlegger out of the black bag he had. I downed the small bottle, “Thanks, I really needed that I ran out of Tequila this morning”, I wiped my mouth.  “It’s alcohol not water you know that right, kid?”, Izzy looked concerned. “Yeah and you know that my heart is shattered by your asshole bass player, who shall remain nameless in my presence.”, I sassed. “Right, uh”, Izzy trailed off. “What, Iz?”, I asked, opening another bottle. “Bass player wants you to come with you to uh pick out a wedding ring.”, Izzy said. “Okay, you tell him that he has lost his goddamn mind, if he thinks I’m gonna help or support his wedding. I’m not coming either”, I said, looking at Izzy with disbelief. He honestly thought I was gonna be fine after two bootleggers and Duff wanting my help.  “I told him you wouldn’t, but he wouldn’t take no as an answer. I just passed the message, Janie”, Izzy said, holding my hand.

“I know, Izzy. I’m sorry for yelling at you”, I pulled his skinny ass in a hug.

It had been two weeks since, everything I was still at home. Talking to anyone besides Duff and Mandy. Kelly had came over one day, we ended up fucking, but he knew it was just to forget about him for a night. Kelly is a good guy, I hate that I used him like that. He was understanding and didn’t say it bothered him.  “Coming”, I said, prancing to the door. I swung it open to have Duff’s tall frame leaning on the frame. “You have some fucking nerve showing up here! Get out of here!”I screamed, attempted to slam the door, but his foot caught the door. Duff stood up, “Janie” I was already in my living room, trying to not kill Duff on a Thursday night. “Janie, we need to talk”, Duff said standing behind the couch from the door. “No, we don’t” I said, clenching my fist. 

“Please, I need to tell someone”, Duff said, almost crying. I tore my head in his direction, his eyes were holding some tears back and he sucked air in to keep himself from breaking down even more. I unclenched my fist and held my arms open for him, “Come here” Duff practically ran to me, he started crying and held me close. “Shh, it’s okay, Duff. I’ve got you now, nothing is gonna happen to you. Shh”, I held him close, kissed his head. Duff had calmed down and was looking up at me, he fell to his knees after I put my arms around him.  “She cheated on me. I kicked-”, he said, but started crying again. “I’m sorry Duff”, I whispered as I petted his hair. “I came home from an interview with Slash, I didn’t notice his Camaro  when I came home. I caught them in bed, where I slept. You must think this is funny, karma got me.”, Duff said, while laying his head on my stomach. 

“No Duffy, I don’t. I hate it for you, my heart is broken with yours. I’m sorry, she did that, I know how much you loved her.”, I whispered. Duff had stood up and grabbed my hand, “I’m sorry for talking shit about you, going off on you at the studio both times. I didn’t love her much as I love you, Janie. I’ve loved you since, I came over for the audition. You in your Johnny Thunders shirt and boxer shorts. The sassy comment you made to me about my siblings. The secret glances when I was playing with Izzy and Axl, I’ve never forgotten our first time together after that Seattle gig.  I looked at him and started crying. Duff stared at me.

“I’m sorry for saying anything, you’re with Kelly aren’t you?”, Duff asked. 

“Don’t be sorry and no, I’m not”, I smiled. “Then why did you start crying after I confessed my love for you?”, Duff asked softly. “Because, I’ve loved for so long now, I lost you once and I don’t want to lose you again. Screw what people think, especially Axl. I love you, Duff Mckagan”, I smiled. Duff’s grin grew a thousand times more, “So you wanna be my girl officially?”, Duff put his hands on my back. “More than anything, been waiting too long”, I reached up and kissed him. He pulled away, “Way too long, babe” I grinned at him, “Wanna spend the night?” “Yeah, my place is a wreck right now”, Duff whispered, laying his forehead on mine. “We can go tomorrow to clean it up. Right now, I just wanna hold you”, I said. Duff picked me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist. He reached my bed and laid us on it, “I love you, Janet Aless Rose”, Duff said, looking down at me. Nobody knew my real name besides Axl and Izzy, people from home. I stared at him, “Where did you find out my real name from?”, I asked softly. “You left your wallet at my house, after our drunken sexapedes. I looked into whose it was. And you’re not 5’6”, missy”, Duff said. “I stood on my toes, smart ass. What’s your government name?”I asked, brushing my finger over his nose. “Micheal Andrew”, He grinned. “Sounds like a news reporter. Thank you, Micheal Andrew for the traffic report”, I giggled. Duff tickled my sides, “At least, I don’t have a song from Rocky Horror picture show for my name” “Hey, that’s a good movie. I love Tim Curry in that”, I pushed him away. 

“Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker

There's three ways that love can grow

That's good, bad or mediocre

Oh J-A-N-E-T I love you so”, Duff sang and crawled back over me.

“I love you too, Duffy”, I kissed his nose. I rubbed his nose, “Is there something on my nose, babe?”, Duff asked. I shook my head, “Then what?”He asked. “It’s cute, you got a little button nose. So boopable”, I booped his nose. 

Next morning, Duff and I drove to a diner for breakfast. He wanted to talk before we went to his apartment. He had been looking for houses for him and Mandy to move into. “Who says we can’t move in together?”, Duff casually asked, while taking a swig  from his drink. “Duff, we’ve not had our first date yet. Hold your horses, bub”, I gulped. “Right, uh wanna go out Saturday? You know before we head out for tour?”, He asked, holding my hand across the table. “Sure, I’d like that”, I smiled, as our waitress dropped off our check. “How much is my half, D?”I asked, looking for my purse. “Doesn’t matter, my treat”, Duff pulled some cash out. “I can at least do the tip?”, I sighed. “No”, Duff grinned. “I can pay for my own stuff, you know?”, I said, rolling my eyes. “I know you can, Janie. Just let me pay for breakfast”, Duff gave me a toothy grin. “Fine. I’m paying for dinner Saturday”, I crossed my arms over my chest. “Who says we’re going to dinner?”, Duff asked, while grabbing my hand. “Then what are we doing, McKagan?”, I stood up with him. “You’ll see, baby Rose”, Duff winked. I hate when people call me that and anything that shows I’m related to Axl. He’s my brother and I love him, yes. But I’m my own person and don’t need Axl’s clout or connections to  make it in the world. We pulled up to Duff’s apartment complex. They were a couple cop cars, we thought nothing of it.

 “Oh yeah, you’ve not heard it yet. You will on the tour, the first night”, Duff grinned, grabbing my hips. “Can’t wait”, I grinned back at him. “Mr. McKagan?”, a tall cop asked. “Yeah, that’s me. What’s going on?”, Duff stood in front of me. “You two follow me, please?”, the cop turned around. Duff grabbed my hand and pulled me with him. We reached Duff’s apartment, the cop had walked in. “Duff”, I said with bewilderment. His apartment was trashed, almost like he had got robbed. He said he had an Axl moment and threw things, but this was like he got raided. Suddenly, his landlord approached us, “I’m kicking you, McKagan. This place is trashed and I’m tired of the noise complaints from girls and parties” The landlord had two cops behind him. “Okay, I’ll start packing, Frank. Why did you call the cops? I’m not gonna lose my mind and hurt you”, Duff said amazed. “After seeing what you did to this place, I didn’t know what you did when I told you to get out.”, Frank gulped, staring at Duff. 

“I’ve been looking at houses, Frank. I’ll just stay at my girlfriend’s place for now. Here’s the key”, Duff said. Frank and the cops left, we had until 10pm to clean the place and have Duff out. “Duff, who are gonna stay with?”, I asked, throwing a baggie with leftover white powder. “Like I told Frank, my girlfriend’s place”, Duff shook his head. “I heard, but I’m your girlfriend, who you haven’t asked if you could crash”, I said. “I freaked and you were behind me so it made sense. I’ll call Slash and ask him, no problem”, Duff walked to his room. “Hey, I didn’t say you couldn’t stay with me”, I yelled. It was 8:30, when everything was packed in his car and mine. “Alright, Mr. McKagan, leave”, Cop said standing outside his patrol car. 

I decided to let Duff stay until we left for tour, but he decided he would stay at Slash’s house instead. “Can you please come stay with me again?”, I pouted. “Baby”, Duff groaned. “Please Duffy, I’ll be lonely”, I whined, crawling into his lap. “Alright, you broke me God!”, Duff threw his head back. “Yay!”, I kissed his cheek. We got back to my place, Axl was sitting outside my door half asleep. “Ax?”, I looked at him. He jumped, but stood up when he recognized us, “Hey, you two made up!”  “Yeah, we did. Little too early to tell you this, but better than you hearing on the tour bus.”, I smiled. “Oh, you two are together now. Nice. Come here Duff.”, Axl pulled me aside. Duff stood in front of him, “If you ever break her heart like you did with your engagement to Mandy, I’ll kill you and have you replaced before sunrise. Understood?”, Axl had pulled Duff down by his leather jacket laplets. “Understood”, Duff said. “Alright, Ponch he gets the point”, I rolled my eyes. I opened the door and the men followed suit behind me. “I’m here to tell Janie something”, Axl said. “Tell me what, Ax?”, I walked into the kitchen. Duff was leaning on the counter with a beer in hand, Axl had a look on his face. It was the kind when our step dad yelled at him, told him he would never be nothing, but a criminal. “Are you okay, Ax?”, I walked over to him and grabbed his hand. “Yeah, I am. Uh, shit how do I tell you this?”, Axl sighed. “Axl?”, I asked, getting worried. “Just tell her, she looks scared”, Duff said. “Erin’s pregnant”, He whispered- yelled. I was gonna be an aunt, “Oh my god. That’s amazing, Axl. Congrats”, I pulled him into a bear hug. “Janie, can’t breathe”, Axl squeaked out. “Sorry”, I let go of him. “How long is she?”, I grinned. “12 weeks”, Axl smiled. “Thought it would be Izzy who would be a parent first”, I giggled. “Izzy almost had a stroke when I told him. He knocked me to the floor from excitement”, Axl laughed. 

Sunday morning came quicker than expected, I was packing my last bag when a knock was heard. “Coming”, I skipped to the door. “Oh hey Kells, what are you doing here?”, I asked. “Forgot a pair of jeans, I know you’re leaving for the tour today”, Kelly smiled. “They’re on the dryer, I thought they were Axl’s”, I followed him to the kitchen. “Thanks, kid. Aw you washed them too”, Kelly grinned. “Yeah”, I breathed out. “Heard you’re Duff’s girl and an auntie”, Kelly said. “I am”, I grinned. “Uh listen, Kelly. I wanna say thank you for letting me cry over Duff. I’m sorry those two times I slept with you”, I said, Kelly furrowed his eyebrows. “I feel like I used you, Kelly. You’re a really nice dude, I feel like shit about it, getting you wrapped up in the drama that was between Duff and I.”, I said. “It’s cool, I was a distraction. No hard feelings, you got him so we had a good plan if you ask me.”, Kelly grinned. I met the guys in the terminal. Erin spotted me and ran to me. “Hey take it easy”, I grinned. “Did he tell you?”, She grinned. “He did, congrats. I’m happy for you”, I pulled her into a hug. “Janie be careful!”, Axl yelled. “He begged management to let me come”, Erin said. “Tour isn’t a place for an expecting mother. Days are too close together, you need to stay for doctor visits. Please update us. I love my niece so much already”, I smiled at her stomach. “I think it’s a boy, but we’ll let Auntie Jane think that you’re a princess”, Erin giggled while rubbing her stomach. “It’s a girl”, I stubbed up. “Here”, Erin grabbed my hand, pulling it closer to her stomach. “Erin, no. I don’t wanna hurt you”, I squealed, making the guys whipped their heads over to us. “You’re not, I promise. Feel”, Erin whispered. “You’re too early to be having them kick”, I said. “Just wait”, Erin grinned. I felt them kick my hand, “Holy shit! Hi Precious, I’m your Auntie Jane. I’ll take Janie too”, I started to cry, I felt a hand on my back. It was Axl, “She active any?”

“Little bit, maybe that’s Erin breathing”, I wiped a tear. “It’s a boy you saps”, Erin rolled her eyes. “No it’s a tiny remake of me”, I sassed. “Alright come here”, I held my arms out and Axl entered them. “Not you, I’ll see you everyday”, I shoved him away. Axl looked offended. “Now tell me everything that happens at appointments, how big they’ve grown, how many times they kick you. And be careful for godsakes. I love you”, I pulled her into a hug. “You’re worse than  Ax”, She giggled. I walked over to Duff, whose back was turned to me. “Hi”, I sighed. “Hi to you too, you okay?”, Duff turned around. “Yeah just so excited that I felt my niece kick. Do you think she heard me?”, I looked at him. “Probably not this early but she sensed someone new. Doesn't it feel weird them kicking back?”, Duff asked. “Yeah, but a good weird. How do you know?”, I asked. “I’m uncle”, Duff grinned. “An Uncle Duff huh?”, I grinned, wrapping my arms around his waist. “You’re an aunt now”, He kissed my forehead.

 We finally boarded the plane, I had to sit with Izzy. “Axl said you knocked him over when he told you about the baby. Did you really?”, I asked. “No, but I hugged for the first time in years”, Izzy sighed. “Figured it was fable in his mind. How does Auntie Janie sound?”, I asked. “They’ll probably butcher it, but it’s a cute one”, Izzy patted my thigh. “Hey Auntie?”, I heard Slash say from the sit in front of us. I kicked his chair, but a yelp appeared in the air. “Oww”, It was Steven. “Oh I’m sorry, Stevie”, I raised up and patted his head. 

[mizugachi]

Hi!! I'm here as promised! Could you do 9 + 8 + 18 please? Thanks!!

@alphabees-writes

After I-don’t-know-how-long, it’s finally here! Thank you for prompting me this, I really enjoyed writing it.

I never did camping/summer camp in its classical form, so linguistic camp is what you get, something I actually know, I hope you’ll still enjoy it :)

_________________________

Camp!au + exes + “ this can’t be real. I feel like I’m having a fever dream. “

Read it on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/25331935

Kurt was counting the days. In a couple of days, he was flying to France, his dream country, for a three-weeks summer camp, studying this beautiful language and learning about the amazing French culture. He was going to be part of a French family, in Nice, on the French Riviera, and he just couldn’t wait. He had looked up pictures of the region: it was stunningly beautiful.

He had always wanted to go on a language study vacation and he had been saving up for two years for this, working extra shifts with his dad at the shop. Blaine, his boyfriend, had complained a bit about it, arguing that Kurt was putting their relationship aside. It was easy to say for him, his parents were loaded and could offer him whatever he wanted. Kurt’s dad couldn’t just take 2500$ out of his pocket.

His luggage was already packed and he had spent the last month reviewing his French lessons, watching French TV shows and movies and listening to French music. He was so ready for this.

____________________________

The first thing he heard when he landed at the airport was the sound of the cicadas. They were everywhere and it was deafening. But it was so south of France and exotic and he loved it already, his heart busting with excitement. He met the supervisors who told him and the kids who shared the same flight that other participants were to be expected on another flight in a few hours and, in the meantime, they would be taken to their host family. Kurt couldn’t wait to meet them.

His host family lived in a typical south of France house, with ocher roof and light-colored walls, on the hill overlooking the city. They were a middle-aged couple, Marie and Laurent, who had two children, Enzo and Léa, and were very friendly, welcoming Kurt warmly. Their house even had a swimming pool, something Kurt rarely saw in Ohio, with a splendid view on the Mediterranean Sea. Kurt thought he was living a dream.

The mother, Marie, told him he was going to share his bedroom with another boy in his study group and Kurt was both excited and anxious to meet him. What if he was a complete homophobe? Kurt wasn’t planning on divulging anything too personal but his bullying in high school when he wasn’t even out was still a fresh memory in his mind.

He didn’t have to wait for long. Laurent went to pick his roommate up at the airport and he came back forty minutes later, while Marie and the children were getting to know Kurt, asking him several questions, all in French. They spoke a bit of English but Kurt wanted his trip to be as immersive as possible and, he had to admit it, he took pride in his accent when Marie and the children complimented him on it. Laurent joined them on the terrace with the boy and Kurt froze when he saw him.

It was none other than Sebastian Smythe, his former show choir rival and ex-boyfriend.

He must have committed a horrible crime in his past life to have such bad karma. Out of all the participants in the camp and out of all the summer camps offered to young Americans, he had to be travelling with the same agency, at the same dates and to the same destination and have his ex as a roommate? Kurt wanted to cry. He might have been dating Blaine for a few months now, but he was not over Sebastian. Sebastian who was his first everything, his first boyfriend, his first love, his first heartbreak. Things with him had ended quite badly when Sebastian made it clear he wasn’t into long, exclusive and romantic relationship by cheating on him with some name-less guy he hooked up with at Scandals during their junior year. Kurt had since been trying to avoid him at all costs, even transferring back from Dalton to McKinley while Karofsky was still there. The heartbreak was too much and thank god for Rachel and Mercedes who were there to pick up his shattered heart.

He was as handsome as ever, all slender, tanned freckled skin and green eyes, in a striped short-sleeved polo shirt with a popped collar and chino beige shorts, and it made Kurt’s heart ache. Oh, he was so not over him.

Sebastian’s eyes widened and he stood still when he recognized Kurt as well, and awkwardness settled between them. Their host family must had sensed something, because everyone fell silent while Kurt and Sebastian entered a starring contest. It was Marie who broke the silence first after a few tensed seconds.

“Bienvenue, Sebastian!” she said, standing up from her chair to greet him. “Did you have a good trip?”

She went to give him la bise, kissing him in the air once on each cheek and pulling Sebastian out of his trance. Kurt had been taken aback by the familiarity of the gesture but Sebastian kissed Marie like he had made French greetings all his life — and he probably had, he lived in France for a few years, Kurt remembered, and he wondered suddenly why Sebastian would go on a French study vacation if he was already fluent.

After greeting the children, Sebastian went up to Kurt and smirked at him and, god helped him, Kurt wanted nothing more but to rip that smirk off his face.

“Hey, Kurt,” he said. “Long time no see.”

Kurt couldn’t process what he was saying in French and stared dumbfounded at him. No way he was going to spend three weeks of his dream vacation with his ex-boyfriend.

“This can’t be real. I feel like I’m having a fever dream,” he said, his voice shaky.

Sebastian’s smile only widened and Kurt didn’t understand how he could pretend to be so casual about their unexpected reunion. Laurent came up to them and tried to make small talk to break the awkwardness.

“Do you guys know each other?” he asked.

“You could say that,” Sebastian answered, still looking at Kurt with his everlasting smugness.

Kurt finally pulled himself together and shot his best bitch look to Sebastian, not wanting for him to see how much he wrecked him in the past — and still did today — even though he just spent the last minute looking at Sebastian incredulously.

“Yeah, we have a slight history, we went to the same high school at some point,” Kurt said, crossing his arms on his chest.

“Well, that’s great!” Laurent said. ���Your supervisors told us you have a group meeting at the beach tonight so that you could get to know the others traveling with you, but you two already know each other! You can share some high school memory!”

Kurt was certain he didn’t want to share some high school memory with Sebastian but didn’t say anything. His dream had suddenly turned into a nightmare. ____________________________

The supervisors had lit a portable barbecue on the beach and provided marshmallows for everyone. Kurt was a bit sad they were not allowed to light a bonfire on the beach but it made sense: causing a wildfire would be a terrible start for the holiday. They were thirty or so kids who decided to ditch the traditional summer camp for a more studious one, and Kurt made small talk with almost everyone, coming from all over the USA.

When he went up to the barbecue to roast his marshmallows, Sebastian chose this moment to talk to him. Kurt had tried to ignore him as best as he could back at the house, given the fact that they were going to share a room for three weeks, but Sebastian was intended on speaking with him.

“You won’t be able to avoid me for the whole trip, Kurt,” he said, roasting his marshmallows next to him.

“What are you even doing here, Sebastian?” he snapped, refusing to look at him. “You are fluent in French.”

“My mom wanted me to do something for the summer before college,” Sebastian answered. “And since sleeping in a tent with no bathroom and doing outdoors stuff is not my cup of tea, I thought, why not go back to France? Nice has awesome gay clubs and they allow you to drink at 18. Wanna come?”

“No, thanks,” Kurt said though gritted teeth.

He didn’t need to see his ex-boyfriend hitting on some handsome French boys. Clearly, unlike him, Sebastian had closure on their relationship.

“Your loss,” Sebastian smirked. “Though I have to admit, I’m quite sad we ended it up last year. You aged like a fine wine. Makes me wonder why I ended it. Heard you’re with Blaine now.”

He had only said five sentences to Kurt since they met again and, yet, he was already on his nerves. Kurt lost it and turned to him, his eyes glazing with anger.

“I ended it because you are a selfish little bitch who thinks with his dick!” he shouted, not caring if someone might hear him. “How could you do that to me?”

“Sorry, babe,” Sebastian said, and he didn’t seem sorry in the least. “But you knew what you were getting into with me. I don’t do romance, remember? I want to know what the world has to offer before I settle.”

“You didn’t have to rub it in my face! I can’t believe I was stupid enough to fall in love with you!” Kurt spat.

His confession stopped Sebastian dead in his tracks and he looked at Kurt like he was seeing him for the first time.

“W-what?” he stuttered. “You were in love with me?”

“Like you didn’t know! You’re such an ass, you know that? You haven’t changed a bit, you’re still as irritating, selfish and obnoxious as ever!”

Kurt shot him his best glare but his expression softened when he saw the look of utter shock on Sebastian’s face. He really looked like he was clueless about Kurt’s feelings for him and too caught out by his confession to snark back at him. Kurt prided himself on being able to make Sebastian Smythe shut up every now and then.

“Seriously, Kurt. I didn’t know,” he said, astonished.

“Well, that wouldn’t have changed anything, right?” Kurt mumbled, anger leaving his voice. “Your cold heart wouldn’t care.”

Sebastian seemed hurt, but he didn’t say anything. Kurt huffed and took his marshmallow stick and went off, leaving Sebastian alone by the fire. He rejoined two girls he sympathized with and sat next to them, staring at the sea to forget about Sebastian.

It was going to be a long vacation.

[misssunflowersandsangria]

Nursery Rhyme

Hello my darling readers!  I needed a break from working from home (ugh it is so not what I thought it would be ) and I’m in a bit of a writer’s block for the next chapter for “The Arrangement,” so this is kind of a warm-up.  Quick, light and fluffy.  Enjoy it! 

Summary:  Shikamaru and Temari welcome a new baby to their family. 

Nursery Rhyme

“Congratulations!” 

Temari just stared blankly at the smiling pink-haired kunoichi. 

“Excuse me?”  Sakura looked back at her confused. 

“The baby, congratulations!”  She repeated not understanding the lack of emotion. 

“What baby?”

“Your baby.”

“I don’t have a baby.”

Sakura just gawked at her surprised. “According to your tests you do.  You’re a few months along too.  Really? You must have had some inkling.” 

Temari seemed to finally process the message and began to panic.  She and Shikamaru were both planners, they didn’t do well with surprises. “I thought I was just sick!”  

The morning sickness, always feeling tired and run down.  It now made a lot of sense. She wasn’t one that was typically prone to sickness so the last few weeks had been difficult. For her and Shikamaru being so smart, she felt incredibly stupid right now. 

“Didn’t you have these symptoms with Shikadai?”

She shook her head. “No! He was such an easy pregnancy! He was just as lazy as his father in the womb.”

“Oh, well that happens for some women they don’t show all the typical signs associated with being pregnant.  Temari are you not happy about this? I assumed that this is good news that you and Shikamaru have been trying for another kid?”

“No, we weren’t trying for one...well not really, we just didn’t do anything to try to prevent another child. I guess it’s been a few years and nothing happened.  Fuck.”  If the baby was a few months along that means it probably happened right around his birthday. That stupid, sexy, convincing man of hers. 

Sakura smiled softly at her. “Hey, this is a good thing. Come on, you’re great parents and Shikadai will love having a sibling!  Do you want to know the gender?”  Temari paused, this was real, she was having a baby. And so she nodded. 

“It’s a girl.” She didn’t know how a three-word sentence could make her cry. Damn, she really was pregnant. 

Sakura rubbed her friends back comfortingly.  “Honestly I’d always imagined that you would have had a daughter.” 

“Really?”

“Of course, someone to pass your skills on to. Another tough kunoichi.  And the fact that Shikamaru was such a misogynistic little shit as a kid it would have been some good karma.”  They both just laughed and Temari could feel her distress decrease. A daughter. 

“Thank you.”  

“Of course, I’ll tell you having a daughter is the most amazing thing.  It’s a different kind of bond.  You get to be the kind of mother to your daughter that you always wished you had.”  Temari was sobbing now as she remembered what little she could of her own mother. No matter what she was going to be there for this child and Shikadai.  They’d never know the pain that she went through.

“No stress, it's bad for the baby.  Go home, tell your husband and celebrate.” 

*

**

“Hey! How did the appointment go?”  Shikamaru greeted his wife after returning home. He’d asked to leave work earlier to check on her.  She’d been sick for a few weeks, but stubborn claiming that she could get over an illness quickly.  It wasn’t until he’d forced her to go have a check-up with Sakura by completely clearing her schedule. 

“Everything okay?”  He began to worry as her arms wrapped tighter around him. 

“Yea, I’m okay.   I do have some news.”  She announced looking up at him. Her eyes filled with anxiety and apprehension.  He was concerned that there might really be something wrong with her. 

Taking a deep breath he asked, “What’s wrong?”  praying that it wasn’t anything too terrible. 

“Well, uhm I didn’t have the flu. That’s not why I’ve been sick in the morning. Its uhm...I’m pregnant.”  Shikamaru just stared temporarily paralyzed. When he didn’t say anything she poked him a few times to get a reaction. 

“Shika?”  Surprising her he dropped to his knees to rest his head against her stomach rubbing it gently. 

“Baby.”  He whispered almost willing himself to feel its presence.

“I know that we didn’t plan this and things are crazy with work and Shikadai-“

“Hey. Stop.”  He stood up cupping her face in his warm hands with a wide smile, joy shining in his eyes. “This is amazing Tem, we’re going to have another kid.  Are you okay?”  He knew that with Shikadai she had varying fears about becoming a mother but he hoped that most of those concerns had passed by now. Like everything she did, she excelled at motherhood. He knew that both Shikadai and their newest baby were lucky to have her. 

“I was surprised and a little freaked out at first but Sakura talked me through it.”  She took a deep breath.  “We’re having a daughter.”  The tears rained down their faces, both of them a complete mess of happiness and excitement.  Shikamaru placed his warm hand against her stomach. 

“A baby girl…”

He kissed her and she felt his smile against her lips. Temari knew that they would have both been happy and content if it had just been the three of them, but this newest addition felt like a gift from the universe. 

He held her tightly whispering sentiments of joy and gratitude against her hair. He had a lot to live up to as a father having both Shikaku and Asuma. But it was a challenge he’d gladly take on. 

When Shikadai found them they scooped him up eager to share the news. He took the announcement well. There was very little that could arouse a reaction out of him but he seemed excited about the prospect of a sibling. To have a partner in crime as well as another person to take the heat from his parents. He was sure that they’d be an even better team than Boruto and his sister. The day that he got to hold his sister for the first time they knew that he was going to be the best older brother. 

*

**

When the newest member of the Nara clan was born she came into the world like a storm, loud and unapologetic. She wasn’t the easiest pregnancy, but Temari would have gladly gone through it again to have her baby girl. After this one though they both agreed that two was enough.

She was a tiny thing with tufts of blonde hair and her daddy’s eyes, a brown so deep that they could be purple.  It immediately reminded Temari of her mother.  

She was named Yoshika after her two grandmothers in the hopes that one day she would be as strong and as powerful as they were.  Yoshino couldn't contain her joy at the honor sure that Shikaku was celebrating right along with them.  

“A blonde Nara, I never thought I’d see the day.”  Shikamaru grinned his fingers playing with baby soft hair. He loved that his daughter would take after her gorgeous mother. Another beautiful, blonde princess in his life. 

Their family and friends had been dropping in all day to meet their newest addition. Each person breaking into joyous tears seeing those bright eyes staring at them. Karui and Ino were completely enchanted by the little girl and their husbands feared that it was giving them ideas. Another generation of InoShikaCho could already be in the works. Gaara and Kankuro had come from Suna earlier wanting to be there for the birth. They had both been emotional seeing their big sister holding their niece. Even more so when they got to hold her. Promises were made to make the trip to Suna as soon as it was safe to travel. 

Shikamaru couldn’t help but stare lovingly at his daughter, completely captivated by the newborn.  “She's perfect Tem.”  And Temari knew that just like her this little girl had him wrapped around her finger. 

Temari held the infant close her eyes misting over. “My little Yoshika, you were quite a troublesome one but we love you so much our little princess.”  Years ago she could have imagined a life like this, a wife and a mother of two.  She’d give her children the life, love, and opportunities that she’d been denied. 

Shikadai looked at the infant curiously. She was still small so she couldn't do anything yet but he knew that once she grew up they would be the best of friends. He’d watch over her and keep her safe from all harm.

“She’s cute, I think we should keep her.”  Shikamaru and Temari laughed at their child’s conclusion nodding in agreement.

“Yes, Shikadai. I think so too son.” 

They both gazed at their children with love and affection in their eyes holding Shikadai and Yoshika tight.  In a world where so much had been taken from them, it had also given them so much. Their little family was finally complete. 

*

**

Yoshino + Karura =Yoshika :D  I love that “Shika” is still in the name!  Which was totally not intentional (clearly this is meant to be)  If anyone has art/creates any art for baby Nara girl please share!  I’ve seen a few and I’d love to see more!  I really wish that they could have another baby, like how gorgeous is Shikadai, can you imagine their daughter?  Oh well, that’s what fanfics and fanarts are for. 

Thanks again for reading! Please continue to take care of yourselves!  Stay home so we can finally be done with this!  Love you guys! 

[glittercndgcld]

( 𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑥 𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑐𝑎 )

    📲 text messages | @xboutlxstnightmuses

monica this is how it goes, mon amie. Engagement is off and i am returning to NY short version long version...he wants to find himself and he left for canada yesterday. good thing is that he gave me a huuuuge amount of money for "emotional support" 🙄 did he actually mean it for  a therapist? Cause i don't need his money. I need him. all this time...i gave up new york for him i need your help to find an apartment and i am talking with people in general about opening the dream business i never got to open BECAUSE I WAS WORKING DOUBLE SHIFTS TO BE WITH HIM

peter  Okay, so passports are pretty expensive, but I can swing it. Then, we go to Canadan and we hire a private investigator, okay? We can track him down and hurt him. We can hurt him real bad. I never liked him - I told you I didn't like him. God, Monica. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that - no one does. He's an asshole and I always knew you could do so much better than him. Total pos! You gave up a lot for him, and for him to pay you back like that makes me really want to hunt him down. But I'm not really that scary. I know people though, you just give me the word! You know I'll help you out. You can crash with me, even. Until you find a nice apartment. I KNOW AND YOU'RE AMAZING FOR IT For emotional support? You should've punched him in the adam's apple.

monica i always wanted to go to Canada....but now i don't even want to think there is such a place hell i don't want to hear the name Andew never again after 10 years of being together, he breaks up with me  through an email and sends me money to my paypal account i didn't know i had paypal PETER :scream: it is alright....i guess love isn't going to be my thing it is gonna be interesting to hunt him down but...yeah. maybe karma is going to hunt him down. thanks :heart: you are probably the only person that i  can count on

peter Honestly, what a fucking dick, mon - and you know I don't even talk like that, but WOW! I'll never speak that name to you ever again. And yes, that is a promise! THROUGH AN EMAIL?! God, I am hoping you're kidding, but also know that you definitely aren't - what was he thinking??? I swear to god, mon, when he inevitably comes crawling back to you, you better not take him back. He doesn't deserve you and now I think you can agree. If you don't want his money, cancel the paypal account. I mean, you'll be just fine without his 'emotional support'. Just because you wated 10 years on one undeserving pos, doesn't mean they're all undeserving. And I only say that because you deserve love. You know? You just gotta find it. He kept you from doing that the past 10 years. Karma will absolutely hunt him down. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when it does. You can always count on me. I'm glad you know that.

monica Dear Monica, It has been like what? 10 years since I have met you in New York  and it was love at first sight. I can't do this anymore, though. I feel like we are the same. I still love you but it feels like you have been blocking a part of me that i never got to explore. I think I am starting with Canada. The money that we have been saving for our wedding is sent to your paypal account. I will always love you. I am sorry. it is still my money...no idea how to use it though? WHY PAYPAL THOUGH ? another forbidden word: paypal the wound is way to fresh to talk about who is deserving of love and who isn't at the moment he also sent me a text with the emotional support thing do you really think that he is going to return back? just booked tickets. Is  this Thursday okay?

peter WOW he literally broke up with you via email... what a fucking coward! I mean, who even does that?! In that case, he better give it all back to you. It better all be there. Your guess is as good as mine. Got it though - two words you'll never hear leaving my mouth. You are absolutely right. I just want you to know though - this has everything to do with him and nothing to do with you. You're literally the best. I do think he'll come crawling back! Why wouldn't he?? You're a catch and he just willingly let you go. He'll realize he's made a mistake at some point and he'll want you back. Yeah, of course! I'll be free for you. If I have class, I'll leave a key for you.

monica apparently my ex fiancè it is all here ; but at the moment i feel like it is cursed. And honestly??? I do not know how to use it, because I already have money saved Maybe i was too oblivious to see it. That he was unhappy. Thanks though:heart: i hope i don't accept him that easily when he does that. I feel so desperate at the moment. I mean...i still love him:sob: thanks :smiling_face_with_3_hearts:you da best

peter I’m so angry! I hope I never see him again or else he might regret it. Save it for whenever you might need it. A savings to the savings account :thinking: you’re moving to NYC - you just might need it. It happens sometimes. Besides, you aren’t a mind reader. If he never communicated that with you, it’s hard to really know. Of course. I mean every word! I hope you don’t either. I understand that and it’s okay, too. You’ll move on eventually, and it’ll feel great, I promise you. Second to you.

monica you're right about the savings account maybe it wasn't. Maybe i ignored all the signs. i mean damn....we were fucking living together...why didn't he say it to my face? Why email? And text? Why in the middle of the night? Was I pressuring him that much? I wish i was a mind reader. I am so sorry for monopolizing the conversation. It has been a long time since we  actually talked and I heard about your news and New York:heart_eyes: but it actually feels bad at the moment. That it will never end. And I will never find love again because love doesn't exist. or i was just thinking i was in love for 10 years. AND I thought that this was it but it was totally fake I sound like a bad chick flick movie aatm but men are :pig: besides you of course :shushing_face::shushing_face::shushing_face: you are :candy::candy::candy::candy::lollipop::lollipop::lollipop:

peter Try not to beat yourself up so much, Mon. It really happens to the best of us. I know, hun. I know. He's an asshole - that's really the only conclusion I can come up with right now. An unappreciative., inconsiderate, stupid asshole that's just made a really stupid mistake. I wish we were both mind readers. That'd have made things so much easier over the years. Hey, don't apologize to me, okay? I'm here for you just like you've been here for me over the years - to listen to all the venting. It's been a little while and I hate the circumstances you've texted me under, but I'm really glad to hear from you. Oh, you ain't missing out on much over here. It will and you will. But you've gotta be open to that sort of thing to find it, you know? Just give yourself time to get through it. Men are :pig: This is part of the reason why I've been single for the past 2 years :upside_down: Ah, I try sometimes.

monica I doubt New York hasn't got anything new to give. We need to plan what we are going to do once I arrive!!! I can't be open at the moment. It doesn't feel like it's worth it. oooh bad luck there? I bet you have charmed a lot of people, though. And they were too shy to let you know!! I mean the older you get, the more gorgeous you become. It's a gift! The sweetness is still there :heart: so anything I should bring from Langley? Anything you missed? ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING( pancakes for example) my mom says she misses you. She's gonna be in charge of the moving-my-stuff-from-Washington-to-New York... I doubt I can carry more than three suitcases with me at this point :hugging::hugging::hugging: but I'm willing to try that

peter Always something new and better out here in these parts. God, I know!! There's so much we could do. I haven't hit the city in quite a while and now I'm looking forward to doing that with you. I found a really good karaoke bar :smiley: I understand. But you know I'm going to try to be that voice in your ear saying not to give up on finding what you not only want, but what you deserve. Not the best of luck. But I mean, in all honesty, since James, I haven't really put myself out there either. The few times the opportunies might've arised, it just didn't feel right. So I don't pursue anything. You flatter me though. I do believe you're just saying that because you're my best friend, but still, thank you :hugging: I don't know, can you fit my parents in your luggage? Lol other than that, definitely pancakes and just you. Other than my parents, I miss you the most. Ah, tell her I said I miss her, too! Does that mean she'll be coming by or is she getting your stuff shipped over? Yeah, I doubt that as well. Especially when one suitcase is about the size of yourself, I imagine :laughing:

monica hmmmm 1) don't drown yourself with work Mr Brice. And 2) yeah, okay...I am all in for going to a karaoke bar...because who knows? I'm actually searching ideas for mine, as well :wink: thank you, little voice in my ear :heart: but it will be hard from now on to trust anyone. Maybe, I should look out myself first and not put things I want to do on the side. Maybe that's what's the lesson here. i say as i finish the 4th packet of paper tissues :/ I'm sorry about that. I am not the right person to just tell you that you will find your one and only. Maybe I can come and we can grow old.... oh....did I mention that I was thinking of getting a stray cat and taking it to the vet so that we can adopt it and all? black and persian. he who must not be named was allergic so my mom would keep it. Maybe we can bring the cat to the mix and start a thing? I speak only the truth :heart: I can ask them to come more often though? aw I miss you too, so much ;* she misses you because I just told her that you'll be searching for a private investigator in Canada and she's on the same boat as you :stuck_out_tongue: was that a comment about my height? or about how big my suitcases can be?

peter 1) is there any other way to work? You know I can't not drown myself in it. I have nothing better to put my focus, time and attention towards. 2) Perfect. Let's do it then. We can hit a few, even, to give you some inspiration. You are so very welcome. I know. And that's truly understandable. I think focusing on yourself is a great idea, actually. Hey, if we aren't married by 40, I propose we just get married ourselves. Maybe by the time i'm 40 - because i'll it the big 4 0 before you do :grimacing: A cat? That's cute. I've thought about getting a pet myself, actually. I'd love a dog, but I think they require way too much attention than I'm able to give right now. But cats, they take care of themselves. Ah, it's such a long trip, I don't know if they're up for it. I'm hoping to make a trip out there this summer. It's been too long since I've seen them. You better! I'm really happy to have you here. It's not the same when I can't go running to you for advice, to vent to or complain to. I miss you a ton. :laughing:  I have no doubt that we're on the same page here. I'd bet she'd have castrated him if she could've. Hm, both?

monica NOW I am even more excited to see you NOW I am even more excited to see you heeere's to inspiration :champagne_glass::champagne_glass::champagne_glass::champagne_glass: meeeh two years later, I will join big team 4 0. It is as scary as the 3 0 and I believe being 30 is muuuuch more awesome than the 20s yeah...i am thinking of names at the moment . She is super beautiful. I always wished i had a cat like that see we already have a family of our own. You & me, the cat and your future dog :man_dancing::dancer::cat::dog: yah and it is surprising because she actually liked Andrew wrong answer but you're cute so I will let it go honestly here's to the new era that we can vent and talk face2face :smiling_face_with_3_hearts::smiling_face_with_3_hearts::smiling_face_with_3_hearts:

peter You mean you had to have karaoke bars thrown into the mix to be more excited to see me???? :champagne: I will always cheers to that - inspiration is a great thing to have! 30 wasn’t that scary for me, actually. 40 though... next comes 50, so that’s a little :grimacing::grimacing::grimacing: But I do agree about your 30s being more awesome than your 20s. Awh, you’ll have to send me a picture sometime! We’re off to a great start! I want a Great Dane though - thoughts? :thinking: VENT AND TALK FACE TO FACE - that’s going to be so awesome! You’re the only piece missing from NYC for it to be like, perfect to me.

monica Well, you're always a sight in karaoke bars-what can I say?!:stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: we'll still have our fun both in 40 and 50, no? The problem here with every age is that society expects you to do certain things as you get older. We just have to outgrow society and be more open. I have been following society's norms and I was feeling happy with myself for finding THE ONE for 10 years and what did it get me? Besides, yeah, okay...Andrew is an asshole...but it's society's fault that he was pressured into marrying me. Feelings-aside, still. Other than that, all there is feelings and doing what you love to do. oh my God-why did I get so philosophical? with another packet of paper tissues finished

monica I'm going to try-I have to go through multiple bureaucracy situations for her, but be sure, you'll get to meet first of them all in New York. Mulan....is a good cat name, right? Great Danes :heart: YES I am aaaaall in aw you are the sweetest-I loooove you :candy:

peter It's so much fun! I don't even have to be drunk to get up there :laughing: I'd like to think so! We always have fun, anyways so there's no doubt in my mind. Yeah... I know, Mon. You aren't wrong. Not at all. BUT he could've handled it all so much better than he did. Maybe he was pressured by society or whatever, but god, he owes you more than an email. He really is an asshole. You really did get pretty philosophical :joy:  but you really aren't wrong. Stop telling me that you're crying when I can't hold you, okay? It hurts my heart. fantastic. I'm looking forward to meeting her! Honestly, it's a great cat name Wow, I wasn't expecting you to give in. Great Dances are like... the size of you. You know I loooove you, too :hugging:

monica yeeees. You need voice lessons and you'll probably have a role in the ensemble in ANY show. You should really consider it. I think you're more focused on the email than I am. And I cannot focus on anything. I hope I still have enough tears, when I meet you, cause I miss crying together over boys xD Thaaaaanks :heart: See-she's gonna be the size of her mom Is it okay if I go for a couple of minutes? Do you have time to Skype later? I promise...I'll try not to cry.

peter Oh, god. I highly doubt that, even with voice lessons. But thank you, the thoughts nice :laughing: It was a shit thing to do, Mon. Such a shit thing to do. I miss having boys to cry over! :joy:  I cannot wait to see you, best friend :hugging: Yes! She is. It'll be so cute. Can you imagine our holiday pictures?? Of course! Yes and yes. I'll be free most of the day, so just text me when you're ready for that Skype call!

monica I hope you'll never have boys to cry over, Pete!! OH MY GOD. The holiday pictures!:heart_eyes: Great. Cannot wait ;*

[onesmallbunny]

Haechan x Reader

Request by a sweet anon (with brilliant ideas): “can you pls write about haechan falling in love w another apocalypse survivor? lots of fluff but maybe a little angst? thanks ✌️”

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS SCENARIO IT IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA!! I hope you’ll like it tho :3

Genre: fluff; angsty

Words: 2,2k

It’s been almost a year. Almost a year you were traveling by yourself, trying to find some safe place to live it. Almost a year you were all alone. Almost a year since… this happened.

A year ago, a disaster happened. An apocalypse. I know what your thinking. This only happened in movies of books… Well at least, it was what you thought back in the days. But it happened for real.

You remembered everything about the day when everything fell down. You remembered you studying at school quietly. You, imagining yourself out of this school, travelling. Well, karma can be a bitch sometimes…

You also remembered the screams of this one teacher getting eaten in the playground, and you, watching everything through the window. You remembered this creature of evil, crawling on the grown, and this other one walking to you, his hands trying to reach your face. You remembered all the screams, the despair, the blood, death… Everything.

And yet, you were doing your best to forget.

It’s been years since you stopped counting the days, now. You were always alone and realizing how many days had past could make you go crazy. So, you were just walking. Walking as if you were hoping something will happened, as if you were thinking someone could save you.

At this point, you didn’t even know why you were fighting back when those creatures were attacking you. What was the point to survive when you were alone?

You woke up on a new day, after sleeping on this mattress you made by yourself with things you’ve found here and there, on abandoned houses. You took some berries to eat as a breakfast, put everything you had on your back and continued your long journey.

“Alright.” You said to yourself. “Where should I go now…” you sighed and looked at on a side of the forest you never explored. “Well I guess I’ll go there.”

You started walking, following a little road in the middle of the trees and flowers. You could hear the birds singing, some animals waking up after a long night of sleep… Oh yes, you were so jealous of their ignorance, their innocence…You wish you could be a butterfly sometimes… Or a bird. Or even a flower, a tree or some grass… Everything but this desperate girl you were at the moment.

An hour passed, maybe two or three. Perhaps more… You totally lost the notion of time. The more you were waking, the less you could hear the noises of the forest around you. And suddenly, everything was quiet. Abruptly, you stopped moving, listening around you, trying to catch any sound. This situation wasn’t normal…

Not even a second after, you heard this noise. The sound you feared and hated the most in the world : the sound of those creatures, running to you. You analyzed the situation as quickly as possible, detected where the noises came from and started running in the opposite direction. You didn’t know where you were going. The road was full of trees and mud, almost impassable. But if you were struggling, at least the creatures following you will as well.

And you were running and running and running. You were used to it now. But the more you were running, the more you realized something was wrong with the situation. The creatures behind you were closer and they wouldn’t stop. The path in front of you was more and more difficult, and you were exhausted. Wait. What was happening. You thought about it for a second and then realized… what it the end, already? You survived all this time for nothing? No… this couldn’t be…

A second of inattention, a branch of a tree on the ground and with a loud noise, you fell in the grass screaming of pain. Out of breath and with a painful ankle, you took you stick in you bag, stood up and tried to calm down. They were approaching. You could hear their horrible moaning, their feet crushing everything on their way, and a second later, you saw their terrorizing and empty eyes looking at you.

“Alright, monsters…” you whispered, getting ready. “Let the show begging…”

One of these hideous creatures jumped to you, screaming, drool mixed with blood falling from its mouth. You hit him violently with your stick and its body in decomposition touched the ground with a loud noise. You didn’t even have time to relish your victory that another one ran to you, its teeth trying to cut your arm. You ferocity stuck your sword of fortune in his left eyes and pulled it back with force, almost loosing your balance.

This wasn’t good. You were already out of breath, and they were so many left. You neutralized one more, and another… But you won’t survive much more. You were exhausted, helpless, alone…

Suddenly, one of these creatures pushed you on the grass and broke your stick with his own teeth. Laying on the ground, you stared at this horror with tears on your red eyes, shaking of fear. The monster was slowly approaching, as if he was playing with you.

You closed your eyes, feeling all your strength living your body, your soul. So this was the end… You survived all this time for nothing after all. How pathetic…

“Move your head!”

Hearing this voice was like a call from heaven. You looked at your left and saw a young man, holding a gun in his hands, running to you.

“I said move!” he shouted, pointing the gun toward the monster.

In a second, you moved your head, closed your eyes and heard the sound of a bullet going through the creature’s head. You finally opened your eyes, and saw something that looked like heaven. Tens of people, men and woman killing those creatures one by one, right in front of your eyes, saving you. How long has it been since you so real people…

“Are you alright?”

You looked up and saw the young man who saved you. He has soft and deep brown eyes, brown hair and a nice and warm skin color, like honey.

“Are you alright, miss?” he repeated.

“Oh, yes…”

“Okay, can you stand up? We have to go. Others are coming…”

As he was helping you to stood up, you felt your head getting heavier, and your eyes closing.

“Hey, stat with us, okay!”

“I think i’m going to…”

And then, total blackout. All you could remember was the sound of the young boy’s voice, telling you to wake up.

…

…

…

You slowly opened your eyes, awaken by the sunrise, softly touching your skin. You were laying on a very comfortable bed, in what looked like a tent to you. You checked around you, still a little sleepy and saw an old lady, showing her back to you.

You tried to stood up, confused and dizzy.

“Where am I…?” you whispered.

“Oh welcome back, sleepy head- No, no, no please young lady, lay down. You must be so tired.”

“Where am I? and? And are you?”

The young lady was about to reply, but someone walked into the tent, loudly. It was the young boy who saved you the other day.

“You’re finally awake!” he said with the happiest smile.

“Don’t scream, Haechan, she’s still weak!”

So, Haechan was his name…

“Sorry miss Lee… I’m so relived she’s okay.”

“Yeah I can see that…”

Miss Lee raised an eyebrow, surprised of the young man reaction. Haechan finally walked to you with a soft smile, and sat on a chair next to your bed.

“Hello, I’m Haechan. Do you remember me? I saved you, the other day!”

“Yeah, I remember. Thank you about that by the way… I thought I was already dead…”

“Well you would be now, if we weren’t here!”

“Yeah, I guess I would…”

A silence took place in the tent. Miss Lee left the two of you alone a while ago, and you didn’t have anything to say to Haechan.

“Anyway hmm… Can you stood up?”

“I guess I can. But Miss Lee said-“

“It’s fine, come with me. I have to show you something. Put some clothes on. We prepared this for you!”

You changed your clothes somewhere no one could see you and came back next to Haechan.

“Where are we going?”

Haechan just smile and opened the tent. At this very moment, as the sun was almost blinding you, what you saw amazed you. Even more than this day when Haechan and his friends saved you.

It was like a little village, with so many people. Nice trees, cute flowers, children playing together innocently, pregnant woman walking around, old man feeding birds, teenagers chatting together…

“Am I dead?” you asked. “Is this heaven?”

Haechan laughed, surprised.

“No it’s not, and you’re perfectly alive. Welcome to the Village! One of the last real town on hearth. We live all by ourself, with agriculture, hunting and stuff… And we can be happier! The village is not that big, though. Everyone knows everyone! That’s pretty cool. Oh, and look here…”

You followed him, but couldn’t really listening to what he was saying. After all these years of survival alone in the woods, you finally discovered civilization. A place where people are happy and where they don’t need to fight all the time to survive…

“And there, it’s a little library-“

“Can I stay here?”

Haechan turned his head and looked at you, surprised. Realizing what you just asked, you blushed, and looked away, embarrassed.

“I mean, I don’t want to be a burned or anything…”

“Of course you can stay! I mean, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to so…

“Really?”

“Of course! You really thought we would leave you all alone in the wild?”

You stared at him for a while, unable to say anything. Your dream was about to come true...

“Thank you so much...” you whispered, feeling your eyes getting wet.

“Hey you don’t have to cry, everything is fine!”

You nodded, laughing and whipping your tears off. You couldn’t believe it. Today was probably the best day of your life.

“I didn’t have time to ask you but... What’s your name?”

“My name is Y/N.”

“Y/N... That’s a pretty name. Well, you probably heard it but my name is Haechan!”

...

...

...

Days passed since Haechan rescued you from hell. You were now living a peaceful life, in a very small (but cute) house next to Haechan’s, in the village. You guys were always together, you were so attached to him, so much that you decided to join the Night Watch with him and some of his friends, so you can be with him a little more...

“Are you going out with Haechan tonight?” asked Jeno, one of Haechan’s bestfriend.

“Yes! We both going into the woods tonight, to see what’s going on there!” you replied with a smile, whilst fixing your gun on your belt.

“You seem pretty exited about it, Y/N...” Jeno laughed a little seeing your red cheeks. “Dont worry, he was as exited as you!”

Jeno winked and left the room, just like that, leaving you blushing and confused. He was actually right; you were so happy to go in the wood by night to face those monsters and all these horrific places... because you just wanted to be with Haechan.

“Y/N, are you ready? It’s our turn already.” Haechan’s cute head penetrated the room, making you blush even more. “Are you okay? You look...red?”

“I am! I’m fine! Let’s go...”

You almost run out of the room, extremely embarrassed, leaving Haechan behind you, confused.

“Okay then...” he said. “Let’s go!”

It was already a very dark night. The moon as your only source of light, and you could have been very scared, but feeling Haechan next to you while you walk into the woods made you feel better.

“So hum...” he finally said while walking next to you, after a silence. “Do you like your new life there?”

“I couldn’t imagine a better way to live to be honest... And it’s manly thanks to you, Haechan. Thank you so much for everything, really. You saved my life.”

Haechan blushed, embarrassed and tried to cover it by playing with his back hair.

“Well I didn’t do much... I mean- I wasn’t alone. I was with Jeno, Jaemin and all the others...”

“Yes but you were the one who killed the creature that was about to eat me.”

“That’s true...”

“So you saved my life.”

“Yeah... apparently...”

The young man was all red and couldn’t meet your eyes. He was so adorable, you couldn’t stop smiling. You came closer to him, get on your tiptoes and put your lips on his cheek, softly, closing your eyes. Surprised, Haechan stopped moving, breathless.

“A little gift for you.” you whispered. Embarrassed, you ran away, leaving your friend behind you, still in shock. Haechan put his hand on his cheek, and suddenly blushed, realizing what just happened.

“I would save her everyday just to have this gift once more...” he whispered to himself.

Tonight was the best night you’ve ever had. No monsters, no fight, nothing but cuteness and... love? You didn’t really know if it was love, but at least, you knew one thing. You wanted to be with Haechan.

Forever.

[uglypastels]

Here’s a Tom Holland request: Tom is working on a film away from home and he is dating the reader. They facetime every night or as often as possible because they miss each other so much, and Tom eventually tries to heat things up with her over facetime and she’s down but she actually doesn’t know how to masturbate. Tom doesn’t know this and feels really bad when he gets off and she physically can’t finish and she’s embarrassed. Just an idea, I understand if you don’t want to write it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It is 1 am. I am miserable and eating pretzel sticks in bed while trying not to burst out into tears. I certainly did not think I would be writing this at the same time, but thank you nonnie for the request. I have no idea what I’m doing but I hope you enjoy (I also realize that while writing I completely lost track of what you requested so it is a bit different. I’m sorry)

“smut” under the cut ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

______________________________________

You just got out of the shower when your phone starts to ring. Hair still wet and only a towel around your body. Droplets of water follow you everywhere as you walk around the room. At first, you want to ignore the ringtone. Let it go to voicemail or let the person call you again when you weren’t naked.

Then your eyes fall on the actual screen of your phone. The picture of your boyfriend lit up brightly. You basically lunge yourself forward on the bed and grab it, swiping your finger across the screen to start the conversation.

“Hey babe,” Tom’s voice is filled with sleep. The light around him was dimmed. Probably only coming from a little light next to his bed. He was sitting in bed. A pillow behind his shoulders. A tired smile on his face, but a smile nonetheless. A smile you had been deprived of seeing in real life for the last few weeks. A smile you missed so badly that you dreamed about it every night.

“Hiya Tommy.” you smile back. You stay flat on your stomach. Phone in one hand as you use the other to push away the wet strands of hair from your face. One, in particular, got in your eye. You blinked a few times for the sting to go away. When you look back at the screen, you see your boyfriend staring. It was as if he was in a trance.

“Babe?” you ask worried, “What’s wrong?” Now he blinks. Twice. His eyes gain back the focus and he starts to stumble over his words.

“Uhh, nothing. Did you just get out of the shower?”

“Yeah. I got out right before you called. Why you asking?” you mindlessly play with your hair as you talked.

“So you only got that towel on?” He had to clear his throat as his sentence ended a bit croaky. You glared at him, also a bit confused. Then you see his face. His eyes slightly darker than they were moments before. His lips wet from when he had run his tongue over them just seconds ago.

“Yes, Tom. I’m naked. God, can you like, not be horny for one second.” You laugh.

“Sorry babe. I don’t think I can. I miss you too much and seeing you like that literally drives me crazy.”

“Oh does it now?” You smirk. You pull yourself up on one arm and move to the headboard of the bed to sit in the same position as Tom was in, only thousand and thousands of miles away.

“Uhum, love,” he clears his throat again. You look at him and see that suggestive glimmer in his eyes. You find yourself looking at the corner of your screen, where you see yourself. You notice that your towel had moved while you were moving around, now revealing most of your chest.

“Tom, how old are you again?” You try to pull up the towel with one hand but then hear a groan come from Tom’s side of the call.

“No, babe. Please don’t cover yourself. I miss you.” You stop as he continues. “I miss your gorgeous body. Fuck, please just drop that towel darling.” With an eye roll, you do as he asks. The smile on his face becomes brighter and wider.

“Happy?”  

“Yes, Fuck, babe. Remind me again, how did I ever got so lucky to call you mine?”

“Hmm,” you pretend to think for a moment. “I don’t know. All that charity you do must bring you some really good karma I suppose.” you laugh and he chuckles, throwing his head back just a little.

“Seriously though, seeing you like that makes me want to get on the next flight home and just-” he groans. You know pretty well where he had been going with that sentence.

“Love,” he speaks with a sudden softness. You quirk an eyebrow at him, showing him to go on. “Can you touch yourself for me?”

The question made your face heat up all the way to your ears. Your breath hitches in your throat and for a solid good ten seconds, you forget how to talk.  

“W-what?” you stutter. You had never done anything like that in front of Tom. Or, actually, ever at all. At least not properly. You just weren’t comfortable with your body that way. It had taken you a few tries with Tom until you were sure what to do with yourself but now, without him, you felt completely lost.

Tom had in the meantime scooted up in his position on the bed. The arm that had been lazily placed behind his head was now lowered. Most definitely busy untying the string of his sweatpants or pulling down his boxers.

“Please love, make yourself feel good. On my behalf.” he winks playfully.

You see his shoulder moving. You see how he bites his lip, most likely holding back a moan. The sight of your boyfriend touching himself like that, even though you didn’t actually see anything, was definitely a turn on… but your lack of knowledge about your own body threw that arousal away right at the same time.

“I can’t.” you blurted out. Tom’s whole body freezes. For a second you think that the connection messed up again. His eyes were wide open.

Then he shakes his head. “What? Why? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Of course, that idiot thought you were sick.

“I’m fine Tom, I just- I just don’t know how…”

He was clearly confused. “What do you mean you don’t know how?” he gasps. “Love, do you not know how to touch yourself?” You just nod, too embarrassed to answer appropriately.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“For one, its embarrassing, two, I never needed to do it myself. You always make me feel so good Tommy.” That was true. Tom was amazing in bed. He somehow always knew what you needed without a single point of guidance. He just knew how to do it.

“I can’t believe my girlfriend doesn’t know how to masturbate.” Tom laughed.

“Fine, be like that. I’m hanging up.” of course you weren’t going to but the panic that jumped up on Tom was rather enjoyable.

“No, babe, please don’t. It was just a joke.”

“Yeah, it’s funny for you when you have it so easy. You barely have to do anything.”

“So have I never made you cum with my fingers?” Tom raised an eyebrow. It always stunned you how easy it was for him to talk like that. Your cheeks immediately heated up again.

“You have. But-”

“That’s exactly the same thing! It’s really not that hard babe. If I can do it, so can you”

You just sighed. That little sound being enough for Tom to understand what was going on in your head.

“I understand but know what, babe,” he was back to his soft voice, “When I get back in a week, I will teach you.”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous Tom.”

“I’m not being ridiculous. When I get back, I will make sure that you know how to work those pretty fingers of yours to get you to your release in mere seconds.” He smirked. “But, before we can go all the way to the advanced classes, you got to know the basics first.” This made you a bit nervous.

“Let me tell you how to feel good kitten.”

the End 

tagging (idk why, pls ignore this): @thelazypangolin @andwhatdostarsdobest @tomhollanders2013 @dtftomholland @summernykole @nerdraging4point0  @butwhyduh

[longassr1de]

Stained

Pairing: Doyoung x fem!reader

Genre: smut 🔞

Word count: ~3k

Summary: In which you and Doyoung are self proclaimed mortal enemies, and all your friends are tired of the underlying sexual tension neither of you ever seem to notice.

Warnings: Shit attempt at plot. Slight femdom reader, switch!Doyoung, oral (female receiving), a complete waste of drinks, getting locked in a room, oh and uuhh an otphj.

A/N: I actually hate this and might delete it later but... I just wanted to have some new content on here, I guess..?😞

It had been the most wonderful of days, emphasis on was. The sun was shining, there was an amazing breeze, you’d finally finished your week and were ready to relax at home for the weekend. That was, until he happened. You were making your way across campus to your car, eager to enjoy some of your favorite music and refreshing air conditioning, but sparing a glance at your phone due to an incoming message was all it took. Due to your distractedness, you had managed to bump into someone, spilling the coffee in your other arm all over the innocent bystander. But this was no ordinary bystander, it just so happened that you had the misfortune of running into your self-proclaimed mortal enemy, who was now glaring at you and cursing everything you stood for as the realization and implications sunk in.

“Do you ever look where you’re going, Jesus Christ,” Doyoung begins to complain, seething at the sticky iced substance seeping through his knot sweater and down onto his jeans. He must have assumed you never pay attention to where you’re going due to you always pretending to be very interested in whatever was on your phone when he was around, little did he know that was just so you would avoid having to deal with him and his attitude. When you finally look up at him, having felt like all of this happened in slow-motion despite not even being a minute’s worth of time, you find yourself caring a lot less than you would have if you’d spilled coffee over... well, just about anyone else.

“Oops,” you ooze sarcasm, giving him the fakest of smiles as you fully intend to just keep walking by. Doyoung quickly moves to grab your arm, exasperated by the cold shoulder he was given after something he didn’t even cause.

Was there really any one solid reason you hated Doyoung, you pondered. The way he always seemed to carry himself around your presence had never quite rubbed you the right way, let alone not having gotten off on the right foot to begin with. You’d sat next to him once during a sociology lecture you’d been late to after having overslept, and he made sure it was absolute torture for you, relentlessly teasing everything from your pajama pants to the night before’s smudged mascara. It was the little things about him, you think, that pissed you off the most. How arrogant he was, how much of a know-it-all he was, and how he always bragged about his family’s money, flaunting endlessly. So as you come back to the moment, watching as Doyoung prattles your ear off, you realize he’s expecting an answer to a question you never heard; all of his monologue had sounded to you the way a fish in a bowl would hear anything, truthfully.

“Come again?” you say with clear disdain.

He begins to repeat himself, but not before rolling his eyes to high heaven and dramatically running his hand through his bright blue hair- wait, since when had he had colored hair? You mentally slapped yourself to try and focus, which seemed to be something you were incapable of today. “I asked what you were going to do to remedy the situation?” He arches a brow and crosses his arms expectantly, instantly regretting it and uncrossing his arms as his sweater sticks to his skin in all the wrong ways.

“I was just planning on remedying my mood by walking away from you entirely, Dodo,” you chastise, mocking his sour attitude with a childish nickname. As if he wasn’t already tired from a long day, running into you had been the cherry on top, and he was about ready to tear you and your smart mouth a new one by this point.

“Look here your highness,” he emphasizes the pet name but appears as if it had burned his tongue to even offensively call you such a thing, “listen to me, and listen very well. I, quite frankly, couldn’t give less of a shit what you wanted, much less if you’d rather I dropped dead right now. You fucked up and you spilled your coffee on me. Now you either get it together and fix the situation, or I’ll fix it myself, and it won’t be pretty,” Doyoung spat, turning red in the face by the time he’s done yelling at you in the near desolate parking garage.

“I hate to break it to you, but the situation will never be pretty, not as long as it somehow involves you,” you snort, leaving him to stew in a puddle of blind rage and coffee stains.

It isn’t until about two weeks later that you even see Doyoung again, but you can be sure that he has not forgotten about his revenge for even a minute since. And it was just all too easy now, seeing you at the library studying for your exams, and just his luck that you’d picked today of all days to wear a white t-shirt. To him, god was a woman and her name was Ariana Grande, but to you... karma was a bitch, and you were about to find out his name was Kim Doyoung.

As you’re turning the page to answer one of the final questions of your psychology review, you see someone trip out of the corner of your eye, noticing a second too late to dodge the oncoming downpour of nearly an entire red Gatorade bottle. Once again, in slow motion, you watch what feels like a murder scene of your hard work and innocent shirt, all the meanwhile Doyoung has the audacity to smirk at you before acting the victim. As he gets up to clean off his arm in the bathroom, you grab onto it and glare at his form. If looks could kill, he’d have been burned to a crisp the second your eyes landed on his form.

“Is there something that seems to be the matter, darling?” he grins cheekily down at your shivering form, lips upturning further victoriously when you can’t seem to find an answer. “Or has the cat got your tongue?” He’s gone before you know it, satisfied with having been able to even the score.

And so the childish war began, with either of you attempting to trip one another, or steal a parking spot from the other, or just screw each other over at the campus cafeteria somehow. Both of your groups of friends were honestly sick and tired of the way you two would act when it came to the other, and had decided upon a revenge of their own; a mouse trap of sorts for you both to dispel the underlying tension that had gone unnoticed to everyone but the both of you.

One of your closest friends had invited you to a dorm she’d claimed was having party, and you were more than happy to oblige. (Phase 1 complete.) Meanwhile, Doyoung’s friends had lied through their teeth, managing to convince him that they were bringing over some guests to have a boozy game night. (Phase 2 complete.) It wasn’t until you were being shoved into the bathroom of said dorm upon arriving, hearing the door lock from the outside, that you had noticed Doyoung sitting on the floor, having already been locked inside. He may not have been Einstein, but he was no idiot, and now that he knew what his friends’ plan had been all along, he was absolutely furious.

“Are you kidding me? So what, this was their master plan? Lock us in a room and hope we don’t kill each other?” Doyoung runs his hands through his messy hair for the umpteenth time since being stuck in the small room, feeling as if his roots would be tugged out any minute now.

“Or maybe they were hoping you’d confess your undying love for me, aww how romantic!” you gasp dramatically, cooing before blinking innocently at his deadpan expression, although you were anything but. “Did they at least leave us any food or drinks?” You start to look around the bare room, grateful to at least have kept your phone on you.

“I’d first profess my undying loathing for you,” he smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes, standing up to try once again and open the door somehow. You simply watch him struggle, takin a seat on the sink and trying to lie to yourself about totally not checking him out in that tight little tee of his. Perhaps you could loathe someone’s entire being and yet still think that maybe, just maybe, they weren’t completely unattractive in your eyes. (And other lies you told yourself as you absolutely did not imagine scratching up his broad shoulders.)

You hadn’t even realized you were say dream until Doyoung had snapped you out of it. “The hell are you thinking about that you’re biting your lip for?” he muses, wondering how you’ve remained calm instead of trying to fight his head off by now. “You must be real hungry if you’re that spaced out.”

“Yeah, starving.” Lying seems to be all you can do today, and it’s all you can do to keep yourself from losing the last grips of your sanity.

“You’re always welcome to eat my ass,” he retorts, smiling sweetly as if he’d offered anything of value.

“First of all, what ass? And second of all, fuck you.” You picked at your nails, starting to feel boredom hit.

“Fuck me? You’re more than welcome to, if that’s how you’d like to kill your time in here,” Doyoung teases back, curious as to how far he could push you, wanting to see you break.

“The nerve! To think I would ever fuck you, in your dreams!” You scoffed at the proposition as if you hadn’t just been wondering what it would feel like to ride him a few moments ago.

“In my dreams or yours, darling? Is that why there are bags under your eyes, are your wet dreams of me leaving you restless?” You felt your jaw drop at his shameless statements, racking your typically witty brain to come up with any sort of retort. Any conscious thought leaves your brain when Doyoung leans in and purrs at your ear. “Why not make your dreams a reality then?”

You’re unsure of just how it happens or why you go for it, but before you know it, you’re pulling Doyoung in by the collar and sucking on his bottom lip, dragging it away with your teeth as you pull back.

“W-What was that for?” he asks, incredulous.

“Don’t start what you can’t finish,” you say as you lean back in your seated position, almost falling deeper into the sink before he catches you out of reflex. His arms on your waist have you feeling some kind of way, you realize, and it isn’t long before you’re devouring his lips in another kiss. He lets out a little whine as you move down to kiss across the expanse of his throat, pausing to suck at his Adams apple and making his knees buck in the process.

“You’re all talk, aren’t you?” Your eyes sparkle at the realization, watching as Doyoung freezes in fear of being caught. “You act tough but you let yourself get bossed around in bed huh? No, actually, you get off on this, don’t you?” Your newfound confidence seemingly oozes out through your pores, a wicked grin playing upon your lips as your nails scratch lightly along his spine, forcing a shiver from him. “So tell me, are you gonna be a good boy for me, or am I gonna have to punish you like the little bitch you are?” Your eyes don’t falter in registering the way his mouth almost visibly waters.

“N-No, I’ll behave, I swear!” Oh, this will be fun, you thought. You’ve only ever been in charge a handful of times, but you craved the power that this kind of intimacy brought you. Let alone the fact that you’d managed to get the Kim Doyoung, former bane of your existence, on his knees for you. Quite literally.

You remain seated at the edge of the sink, having tugged your dress upwards just enough so that Doyoung could properly eat you out. He wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t his tongue that had impressed you, no, it was his fingers. He had long, slender fingers that curved just right inside of you, making you clutch at the edge of the sink until the color of your knuckles began to shift. As you saw his free hand reach down to coax his length through his pants you reached for his hair and pulled him off of you.

“Did I tell you you could touch yourself?” He murmured a negative, trying to pout as if it would change your mind, because he felt as if he was going insane from ignoring his throbbing length. “You’ll only get to come if you play nice, so if I catch you touching yourself again, you’re gonna regret it,” you scold. Doyoung makes you come around two of his fingers, biting lightly at your clit as your hands can’t decide whether to pull him closer or push him away entirely. You end up opting for the latter as it becomes too much, breaking away from him to catch your breath as he pants from exhaustion. “Should I be nice and let you have some fun now?” To which he nods enthusiastically, unconsciously letting out a small moan at just the thought of it all.

You guide him to sit on the floor, straddling his lap as you do so, unbuckling his belt and tugging his jeans and briefs down just enough to pull out his length. You slowly take his cock in your hand, just barely grazing at first and luring him into a false sense of security. He closes his eyes and leans his head against the wall behind him, a string of profanities leaving his mouth as your own sucks at his tip. Your thumb runs down his sensitive shaft and you deem him hard enough by now after all your teasing.

“Ah ah, open your eyes, I want you to look at me,” you command as you peel his arms away from your hips, allowing them to settle on your lower thighs instead so he couldn’t control your movements. Weakly, Doyoung opens his eyes to look up at your face, wondering when the little devil in front of him suddenly became the angel on top of him, holding the key to a paradise of pleasure. Your grab his cock as your hips slowly sink downwards, running his length through your wet folds, enjoying his whimper before you lower yourself onto him completely, thighs now in contact with the rough denim of his jeans. Short, jagged breaths escape past his lips, his vision blurring as his glassy eyes try to fathom the pleasure of your tight, wet heat encasing his needy cock.

“P-Please, do something, anything,” he mutters out, too scared to disobey but too horny to stay quiet. You shush him gently before slipping your tongue past his lips, beginning to ascend off his shaft before lowering yourself back down, repeating the process in a tortuously slow manner. You enjoy every single one of Doyoung’s moans that you swallow, a few grunts of your own when your self control begins to slip, grinding against him every time you descend and meet the added friction of denim. Chasing your second orgasm, you remind him that he can’t cum until you give him the ok, rubbing at your clit until you’re seeing white and the coil in your belly hits just right. You’ve just finished coming all over his cock when you pull away of him and climb off his lap, leaving him baffled as to why you were tucking him away and zipping his jeans back up.

“D-Did I do something wrong? What happened?” Doyoung grabs at the hem of your dress like a lost child, eyes wide and mouth gaping in disbelief.

“Sshh, it’s ok baby, you’ll get to cum, we’re just doing something different now.” He’s too wrapped up in finally being allowed to come that he thinks nothing of your strange ways, his brain was mush at this point under your heavenly touch. You stroke his length over his pants, placing open-mouthed kisses across his stomach as you wait to exact the perfect revenge. And you get your wish when moments later, he’s coming hard and fast, a large, dark, wet spot forming across the front of his light blue jeans.

You fix yourself up using the bathroom mirror, making sure you’re presentable when you jangle the doorknob, and sure enough, it finally gives way this time. Looking back at Doyoung who looks like he might pass out on the floor any minute now, you bend down to wish him farewell. “Thanks for the orgasms, baby boy,” he smiles shyly in return. “Oh, and I hope you enjoy walking back to your room covered in cum,” you finally bring up before walking out of the bathroom and out of the empty dorm room. Only once you had left and Doyoung had gotten over his post orgasmic bliss did the meaning of your words sink in... you’d gotten your revenge by leaving him with an even more questionable stain, making it look like he’d just finished jerking off in the bathroom. And as he goes to quietly leave the restroom, he runs into all three of his roommates, eyes widening comically upon their collective laughter. It looked like this war was far from over, but perhaps a truce could be called in the form of the age old system of enemies with benefits.

[theway-itwas]

20200317

i write many notes about her. some people journal, and i write little tidbits of what i’m feeling when i’m feeling it, sort of as a log to keep track of what i’m feeling about her. 

it’s been two months, and then some. it still hurts, but it’s more a stinging feeling now. it’s different, not at all how i expected it to feel at this point in time. with everything going on i have felt and pondered many things, gone into the depths of myself and uncovered secrets about myself i never knew existed. it’s fulfilling to see myself reach a potential i didn’t know i could reach. 

i still think she’s going to come back, and i’m almost confident she will. this feeling, this intuitive gut knowing that she will return is hard to shake. it has to account for something, it’s not for nothing. there’s a reason the signs keep popping up, there’s a reason for everything, and i am starting to piece them together and understand exactly what it is i need to do. 

she pulls me back in right when i feel like it’s my time to walk away. like saturday night/sunday morning, when we watched parasite and facetimed until 5 in the morning out of the blue. all saturday i was crying over her, and that very night she messaged me. we had a fun conversation, then talked throughout the night. and then it was back to normal, back to reality. she stopped talking to me again. 

i doubt she understands just how much it meant to me. that night was great, it resurfaced a lot of feelings i’d pushed deep down, and it made me realize yet again that it’s still her. it’s going to be her for a while, and that i am confident that for her it will eventually be me too. it couldn’t mean nothing, it can’t mean nothing. i know in my soul that it meant something to her like it meant to me. 

and with that, i want to explain some of the things in my notes. i kind of just want to write, but didn’t know what to write independently, so i figured i’d go into detail for myself. 

“i remember staring at your eyes and memorizing the color because i didn’t want to forget.” inspired by my main tumblr, and encapsulating how it felt to look into her ‘boba ball’ eyes and never want to see anything else ever again. 

“la citta di smeraldo” the truth untold by bts. it made me think of how i was when we were ~together~, the story reminded me of myself. i hated myself then, i’m getting better now. 

“the nights i’ll grow not to remember, but you, i will never forget.” it’s the truth. the individual nights have started to fade, and soon enough they’ll all be forgotten memories. but her, she will always be a part of me. she will stay in my head forever. 

“i was desperately looking for happy songs to listen to when i realized that the playlist i made for you was filled with them. good news is, i can listen to it without crying. bad news is, every song is still about you.” that one speaks for itself. i wrote that before she unfollowed the playlist, which made it harder to listen to. but it remains true still. every song is about her, even if it hurts to daydream when i listen to them. 

“once i realized that i deserved better, and that i was capable of giving myself everything you could not, i was happier. that’s funny, isn’t it? how i’m happy and i am learning to love myself now that you’re out of the picture. things without you used to be so hard, now they’re getting easier day by day, and you’re just not that special anymore.” this one is funny because it was so incredibly short-lived. that was a great week, but i was trying to deny how i felt. i accept it now, and i allow myself to feel these things for her knowing it is for good reason and it will get better someday. 

“i don’t think you understand how much i need you, were you really just a waste of all those nights? i don’t think the stars aligned so i can’t have you, is the universe really that unkind?” song lyrics i wrote for sydney, but that i altered a bit to fit izzy. they fit so much more in this situation. 

“there’s not a song sad enough.” i revisit this one, mentally, a lot. when i first saw that she was talking to someone else, and that she confessed to them and it went well, this was my immediate reaction. no song was sad enough to match how i felt. i was destroyed. 

“everybody’s blind when the view’s amazing.” stay by post malone. i still love that song, and it’s true. rose colored glasses are a dangerous thing. 

“i don’t follows fighting for a lost cause, feels like even drifting we’re just off course” fomo by eden. the best song off of no future, and it was my simping song for a while. 

“she says i’m no good with my hands but i’d hold up the whole sky for her” 2020 by eden. again, lyrics that somehow explain what i could never. 

“i begged you to tell me to turn around, but all i heard was silence. maybe it was me who should’ve told you to turn around, but maybe neither of us was meant to. so, we continue with our backs to each other as if our paths hadn’t just crossed, as if our lives weren’t changed forever, yet not as if we’d never be the same without each other.” i wrote that one after watching portrait of a lady on fire. like call me by your name, the ending of that movie resonated differently with me, and i took the portrait concept and my own experience with her and mixed them together to write a little paragraph. 

“you could have told me to go to hell and, if that’s what you wanted, i would’ve done it without hesitation.” after rewatching faking it, a similar line that liam said was on my mind for many days. karma told him to go to hell, and he replied “fine, i’ll go to hell if that’s what you want” and it made me really think, that’s exactly how i feel about izzy. 

“distracting myself works for a while but i always end up here.” self explanatory. i was probably more upset than usual when i wrote that. 

“i think things should be easier from now on. thank you for giving me the closure i needed, and i hope the future is bright for both of us--individually and together.” i wrote that after she texted me about the tik tok i made about her and we talked things out. it’s funny because i really thought things would be easier. things got so much harder, and i was visibly upset the few days after that. that night kind of did nothing but make me want her more, especially after she’d said she thinks about me every day and basically said moving on was hard. the fact that she had to move on at all made me rethink everything i ever thought about her because that means it was real, and she forced herself to give it up. 

“it’s times like these when you remember just how temporary everything is.” just me reminiscing on november and december. 

“nothing has felt right since you left.” it’s true. things have felt off, like it wasn’t supposed to happen. 

“being closer to you makes it worse. it’s still you, it will always be you, and for you it will never be me and that is the most frustrating reality that i can’t face.” we were talking quite a bit then, and i wasn’t confident in the thought that she would come back quite yet. 

“i may not be okay yet, but i’m closer than i was yesterday.” every day i get closer to being more okay, but healing is inconsistent, and sometimes things get harder again. 

“right when i think i’ve gotten far enough, you pull me back in again.” she probably texted me asking if i was okay again, as she often does. maybe it was when i asked her if she was okay. sometimes i think it’s just her excuse to talk to me. 

“i just want to relive those days over and over again. i want that feeling again, i want you and i’m desperately trying to show you that but you just don’t care and it’s killing me. everything changed when you left and i’m trying to figure myself out but it hurts having to do that without you. i don’t even know why i’m making such a big deal out of such a short time but i can’t help it and i feel pulled in two directions because i can’t decide whether to let you go or to hold onto hope because both paths seem equally as plausible and both are hurting me more than i can take. i feel weak and defeated. i feel like i have no control and that i have no choice but to sit here and do nothing as things fall apart. thanks to you, i am defeated.” it was true then, less so now. i feel like holding onto hope is way more plausible now, but i did feel defeated. 

“it doesn’t even feel anymore. it’s just nothing, waves of nothingness when i think of you.” i don’t even remember what exactly evoked this response but clearly i was upset. 

“i both don’t want to talk to you and only want to talk to you. it’s a mixture of pushing you away and pulling you in. every time i try to walk, something happens and it feels like i get pulled back. i just want to be free from you, free to be happy without you and be happy for you. please allow me to do that.” little did i know there was trouble in paradise. 

“i’ve never had a choice. everyone else has always chosen for me, you chose for me, i didn’t have a say in it. how is that fair?” i just felt so helpless and defeated. 

“yesterday i was crying over you and trying to forget about you. last night i was on facetime with you until 4:30 in the morning. you did it again, you pulled me back in.” self-explanatory. this time was different though, it cemented many things. 

“maybe you should set me free, maybe i don’t really want you to” this love by camila cabello. pretty much sums up every feeling i’ve had since january 5th. 

that’s it for the notes.

i am trying to forgive. i realized today that the universe, spirit is sending me the sign that i must forgive before i can get what i want. i can’t have her until i forgive her, really truly forgive her for leaving me. they sent me her knowing this was a lesson i had to learn. i can’t have what i want unless i forgive everyone, including myself. i need to forgive the world and love every aspect of it to finally prosper and get an abundance of what i want. i see that now. so, i will work on forgiveness. i will nurture my wounds. 

this will be my physical speaking of it. i am working on myself, doing healthy things and actually going through with it. every day i want to go on long walks, to sit and meditate at that table i found today. i want to be everything i have always wanted to be and i am doing things to help myself achieve that. 

the spirituality and intuition i am tapping into lately feels amazing. i understand the things around me, and i see the beauty in all things. i’ve gotten into tarot, astrology, meditation, manifestation, and all that good stuff lately. it feels good. i like growing into this new person. it feels like a new chapter, in all the best ways. 

rae, as in valkyrae, said it regarding her breakup with michael recently. “just because we aren’t in each other’s chapter nine doesn’t mean we can’t be in each other’s chapter fifteen”.

and with that, i think izzy and i need(ed) this time apart to work on ourselves. i think we both need to forgive, and we both need to grow in order to be perfect for each other. i think there is a deep soul connection, i think she might be my soulmate, and i see now the importance of spending time apart so we can fall back together. 

all is going to work out. everything is going to be okay. i see that now. 

[ty-talks-comics]

Best of DC: Week of July 10th, 2019

Best of this Week: Batman and the Outsiders #3 - Bryan Hill, Dexter Soy, Veronica Gandini and Clayton Cowles

Batman’s Outsiders has a lot to learn before they can properly function as a team.

After losing Sofia, the girl that they were charged with protecting, Baman gathers the team together and tells them that they are going to get her back, but first they need to be tested. On the other side of the coin, Sofia finds herself in the clutches of Ra’s al Ghul, who places the man who killed her father in front of her. Ra’s tells her to kill him, her own test to see if she’s worthy of being trained by him.

The book flips the focus between two central characters specifically, those being Sofia and Duke Thomas, aka The Signal. As mentioned in my last review of Batman and the Outsiders, this book was slated to come out around the same time or after an arc in Detective Comics where Batman’s sidekicks were being targeted by a murderous villain by the name of Karma. His primary targets were the Cassandra Cain and Duke Thomas, the latter of whom is still suffering from PTSD after failing to save a kid with a bomb strapped to him by Karma and being injured in the explosion.

Ishmael, the man who killed Sofia’s father, kneels before her and goads her into attacking him, telling her that he heard her father’s last thoughts before he died. He says that her father wishes that she were killed instead of him and Sofia succumbs to her anger, striking Ishmael. After a smokescreen clears, Duke is met by someone wearing Karma’s gear and attacks the figure in a rage. “Karma” tries to convince Duke that he doesn’t deserve the metahuman power that he has, the ability to see what others cannot (see Dark Knights: Metal), and that Batman must be disappointed.

After thoroughly thrashing Ishmael, Ra’s gives Sofia a sword, telling her to end Ishmael and become another of his weapons. She holds the sword in her hands and thinks long and hard about her decision. Ultimately, she decides that vengeance is the only option and chooses to plunge the blade into Ishmael. Ra’s reveals the test for what it is, allowing Ishmael to defend himself and telling Sofia that if she joins him, nothing will hurt her again.

Cornered and afraid, Karma approaches Duke and asks him where is his team now, making him think that The Signal is all alone. Suddenly, Cassandra kicks Karma in the face, Katana slashes him in the face of the mask and Black Lightning picks the kid up from the ground. Bruce reveals that he was the one under Karma’s mask and tells Duke that he is very proud of him.

This issue was made great by the duality of the situations presented. Batman normally takes in broken kids and builds them back up to be strong, compassionate and in tune with their emotions. Ra’s al Ghul takes young men and women and turns them into unrepentant killing machines under his will. Duke could just as easily have been in the same position that Sofia is in now and vice versa. Sofia, however, will be a harder case to bring back to the light now that she knows that she has given in to her darker side. Sofia has a chance to become like Damian if she’s lucky, but who’s to say?

Duke has already been to the dark depths since his late childhood, watching his parents get forever Jokerized, dealing with an army of wannabe Joker kids as a teen and fighting against the Dark Multiverse as Batman’s new ward. Duke has been through a lot, but he’s also been able to overcome every threat in his way. Karma took that security away from him when he made Duke watch his own failure and this left the young man angry and broken, unwilling to take orders from anyone lest he make the same mistakes again.

Batman and the Outsiders succeeds at placing it’s focus on characters other than Batman, leaving him as more of a support player while the stories hone in on individuals or team dynamics than Batman’s leadership. Duke Thomas has been out of the picture for a while and having the gates flood open on his headspace in particular made me very happy. I also kind of like Sofia. While not exactly super fleshed out yet, she shows a lot of promise especially making the decision to have this new character go down a dark path in the beginning. She has good motivations and I actually hope that by the end of this arc, she earns a place on the team properly.

High recommend.

---------------------------------------------------

Tom King’s Batman can be hit or miss sometimes, but this one is definitely a hit.

Runner Up: Batman #74 - Tom King, Mikel Janin, Jordie Bellaire and Clayton Cowles

For the entirety of his superhero career, Batman has been driven by one singular goal: to make sure what happened to him as a child didn't happen to anyone else. He's vowed to protect the streets of Gotham and to honor the memory of his parents and the city they loved.

This vow has become increasingly harder to honor over the course of this run; from being unable to save a possible replacement in the Superman-like Gotham, to being told to stop being Batman by his father from an alternate universe, and ultimately being left at the altar by the love of his life. One man is responsible for it all, Bane.

Part of the (admittedly) convoluted scheme to break the Batman was to somehow bring the Flashpoint Batman from his Universe to finally convince his son to stop. Thomas rationalizes that all Bruce needs is the love of his parents and his sickness, his broken need to be Batman will go away. As revealed in the last issue, Thomas' goal is to resurrect Martha Wayne in Ra's al Ghul's most powerful Lazarus Pit and reunite the Wayne family. 

Mikel Janín's art remains amazing as always. I could gush for days about how he's able to make Thomas and Bruce solemnly expressive through body language and only using the lower halves of their faces, but Jordie Bellaire, is the real star of this issue. She manages to color this story in a way that makes it seem like it takes place in three acts.

The first act takes place in the beautiful drawn and barren desert after Bruce and Thomas reconnect while fighting Ra's ninjas. Everything is bright and the yellows, contrasted to the Blacks of the Bats give things a slightly warm feel. Thomas is happy for his son to join him and give up his crusade.

The second act shows Bruce and Thomas reaching the edge of the pit and is coated in the cool blue hues of night. The scene feels somber and intimate as Thomas tells Bruce how stubborn he was as a child, crying because he wanted to hear his favorite story over and over until he fell asleep. Thomas says that Bruce absolutely got that from his mother, who would constantly insist that Thomas read him that story, how she always had faith that Bruce would sleep. The two begin to climb down into the pit.

Throughout the issue the Russian Folk Tale, “Animals in the Pit” had been told and spoken about in the usual Tom King style. The tale involves a group of animals that get trapped in a pit and perform contests where the loser gets eaten. In the end, one of the two remaining animals tricks the other into ripping himself open and feasts on his flesh.

In the final act, in the dark of the pit, the book takes on a harsh red hue. Thomas is finally there, at the end of his journey to give his son the happiness and family he deserves. Saying that he couldn't deny Bruce his childish wishes as a kid, but now he will deny him remaining Batman. 

Bruce tells him that the reason he wanted to hear the story constantly was because, despite the horror, his father told him the story with a bit of levity. Bruce gained hope that one of the animals just might escape and even if he knew it was impossible, he never gave up hope. He then betrays his father with a right cross to the face.

Janín can draw a beautiful, flashy fight scene when he wants to, but this fight is anything but. It's raw and brutal, it's close quarters and every emotion is felt, accentuated by the excellent coloring. Bruce punches his father, Thomas punches his son right back. Even when the fight pivots away from them to focus on the coffin, the tension is still there. Their ideological struggle is felt through the shadows on the wall and when Thomas is thrown into the coffin, things spiral downward for him.

Right on the heels of the hopefully amazing “City of Bane” storyline, this two issue filler arc strengthens Batman’s resolve for what will be the final confrontation with one of his greatest enemies and all of his pawns in Tom King’s Batman run. While the issue does suffer from the usual King-isms (long winded diatribes taking up entire pages, lack of explanation for possibly crucial plot points, like how Thomas came to this world, and the general pretentiousness in dialogue structure) they don’t pull the issue down in a distracting way. While mildly annoying, they fit this story very well and continue to expand on Bruce’s reverence for his mother, introduced in the “I Am Suicide” arc and furthers him being resolute in his mission.

Bane’s going to have hell to pay when the Batman comes for him. High recommend.

[ruckusheaven]

A Coon In A Colorful Heaven: Chapter 5.5 - Claudia’s Story

Coon-  A black person who is ignorant to white discrimination and unknowingly suffers with self hatred.

                -Inside Claudia’s Memory Realm-

Damien: This... This is insane... How... 

Claudia: One of the many things we are able to do in Heaven is relive our owns lives or memories, and share them with others.

Claudia: It is the purest way to truly understand someone’s life without a word being said

Damien: *kneels and touches a piece of grass* it feels real... from the grass on the ground to the heat beaming on my head.. This shouldn’t be possible

Claudia: You would think that by now that thought of something being impossible would have left your head by now..

Claudia: Stand up now.. You must look and pay attention

*Claudia Raises her hand and everything in front of Damien and Claudia begin to twist and spin, almost as if she is bending time and space itself*

Damien: *falling backwards, staring wildly* what the hell are you doing!!!

Claudia: As much as i would love to have you see every detail of 30 year story.. you honestly don’t have the time 

Damien: What do you mea- *Looks at his leg and realizes that the deterioration has reached his knee*

Damien: JESUS!!

Claudia: Don’t worry if what we have been told is true... you seeing this will at the very least slow it down.

Damien: Slow it down!? i need it to stop!!

Claudia: Well Damien... Those that belong in Heaven, Stay in Heaven. Your deterioration is completely determined on you and whether you believe you belong here..

Damien: What!? of course i think i belong!... i think..

Claudia: Hush now and look *slowly puts her hand down*

Damien: Where are we now...*stands up slowly*

Damien and Claudia are still standing within the forest, but everything in front of them has changed. The sun is now down, the air has become colder and they are now standing a few feet away from an old shack like house.

Claudia: This is my home. it is were i slept, ate and learned *waves her hand in front of one of the walls; Showing a family inside*

Claudia: This is my family. My father, Mother, Younger Brother and Me.

*Claudia raises her hands again, changing the area to the morning field*

Claudia: As you know, being a slave came with nothing but hard work and hardships. The Johnson Family owned us alongside hundreds of others.

Damien: Wait, Johnson? A lot of my cousins have that same last name..

Claudia: Yes a lot of our family did have that last name. Where do you think slaves got their last names from?

Claudia: Some slaves received their last names as a way to be identified like property, and some took those names once they were freed..

Claudia: It’s almost amazing to think that some people walk around with a slave owner branding and don’t even know it.

Damien: ... wow

Claudia: Yes, the ripple affects of our decisions go deeper than most people realize... as you will soon see

*Claudia raises her hand, speeding Damien and Her through the field*

Claudia: Most of everyone work in the fields. Older women handled the food and servants alongside younger kids

*Claudia stops them in front of a house*

Claudia: This is where i mostly worked as a child and even when i got older

Claudia: The Father of this family favored me the most out of the rest especially as i got older..

*Claudia takes Her and Damien back to the shack*

Damien: Why are we back here?

Claudia: We’re now 10 years into the future from when we started. At this time i was 14... The first time i was summoned for Mr. Johnson..

Damien: Summoned?

On Cue three white men came busting into their shack, grabbing Claudia and dragging her away back to the main house. As much as Claudia’s Father and Mother wanted to fight for their daughter; They knew that things would only get worse if they tried to stop them.

Claudia: This was the first night of many where i saw the true potential  of how evil mankind could be...

Claudia: This was the night i lost my innocents and what ever little peace i had..

Claudia and Damien watch as the men stripped and tied her down to a bed. 

Damien: I can’t watch this *closes his eyes and looks away*

Claudia: Nor would i want you to, but you will understand the fear i felt *grabs Damien’s hand*

Damien: *TAKES A DEEP GASP*

Within that instant Damien felt the exact feelings Claudia felt that night. Fear, Confusion, Sorrow, Helpless, Desecration, and Emptiness. All these feelings poured into Damien like a waterfall crashing into a tea cup

Damien: *falls to his knees, gripping his chest with his other hand, unable to breath*

Claudia: This is the very feeling that many of us women have felt. To feel powerless, to feel weak, but worse to feel that you have no control over your life... and that this is how the world, is simply because of how often it happens.

Claudia: Sadly even as time has passed many women of different ages still feel this very same fear and hopelessness; in a world where the perpetrators are defended and in some cases the one’s in charge.

Damien: This... this is unbearable..*tears begin to run down his face*

Claudia: And yet we bear it... we have to..

Claudia: We struggle, We suffer, But we continue to push on day by day. Clinging to the hope that things will get better. Or tricking ourselves into thinking that this is normal and ok..

Claudia: Regardless we try to bury these feelings and fears so deep and try to lock it away.. hoping that it will all go away.. But it doesn’t.. It either comes out in a burst of rage or sadness or we slowly release it through our actions

Claudia: Regardless no one could ever run away from these experiences, especially when there is no where on that planet to truly escape from it. Traumas and attacks like these can happen from family, friends, and strangers. No matter the place or Time. It is a fear that all women have everyday when surviving in this world plus everything else included.       

Damien: *grips his chest harder while facing the ground as tears fall from his face* How could you possibly.... how could anyone live like this...

Claudia: To be honest i don’t know.. some of us don’t.. it takes a lot of will... it takes a lot of strength.. some of us choose to not live in a world like this.. but could you you really blame them for not wanting to?

Damien: *Begins to cry and scream loudly in pain*

The feelings Damien felt were completely foreign to him. Throughout his life he never had to experience despair or sorrow. He was always able to avoid them.. run from them. Never having to deal with most of the consequences of his actions nor did he ever allow himself the time to actually understand them. He was ignorant. Ignorant to so much.. But in this instance he truly began to feel only a glimpse of what the real world was..

Damien: *in a slight and low whimper while looking at the ground* ..mommy..

Claudia: *looking down at Damien* i think this is enough for now *closes her eyes*

*in an instant Claudia and Damien return back to the club almost as if no time has passed*

Damien: *Takes a deep gasp with his eyes wide open and tears running down his face*

“GG” Grandfather Julian:  Well well well welcome back

“GG” Grandma Lisa: *Looking at Claudia* What all did you show him?

Claudia: Not much honestly.. I showed him and made him feel everything i felt the first night that i was summoned by Mr. Johnson

“GG” Grandfather Julian: That’s it? Why didn’t you show him your kids or what happened to your parent?

Claudia: Look at him Julian.. It’s almost as if this is his first time ever dealing with emotions and feelings like this. Anymore and i probably would have broken him...

“GG” Grandma Lisa: So strange.. Either Pam did one hell of a job guarding this boy or he truly had a talent for escaping karma before it got to him

“GG” Grandma Lisa: Regardless one thing for sure is that he definitely isn’t ready to see what happened to Veronica.. or even Lexis for that matter..

Uncle Craig: So what are we going to do with this fool. He too sensitive to see the truth and too ignorant to understand it.

“GG” Grandfather Julian: Well hold on now Craig, he’s not completely lost yet... we still have time..

THE END OF CHAPTER 5.5

Writers Notes: Sorry that i made this into a filler of sorts. The first Draft i made for this was actually suppose to be part of chapter 5 but it made it too long. But when i went to write  this as chapter 6, my computer froze and i lost most of my progress. So after i got over my discouragement i basically tried to re-write everything the best i could but i also didn’t really have the  energy too. So Thursday i will be making Chapter 6 fully so you guys basically get 4 chapters this week.

p.s i technically uploaded a chapter today sooo i didn’t break the deal yet 😬👍🏾