#karen: time to play dumb blonde

[gremlingottoosilly]

Cabin in the woods (yan!slasher!Konig x fem!Reader x yan!slasher!Horangi) part 2

You listen to the story about those woods. Turns out, real life is way, way nastier than any of those stories. Don't lose your head.

TW for the chapter: Blood, gore, dead bodies, slut shaming(usage of outdated horror tropes), knife play, blood play, mentions of STDs

— Do you know what animal is this? 

The body of a small creature – rodent, probably, you don’t think there could be any other animals around – was lying on the road near the place you decided to stay for the night. The “Coolest fucking thing in the world that is also just a few hours from here” was still a few hours from here because it was fucking dark and you already left your car on the sidewalk, hoping no one would steal it because honestly, why would anyone need this pile of burning crap. 

— According to the “Basic Bestiary of Austrian Animals” it might be an extremely rare Austrian Marmont.

You fucking hated Max. Mostly because his form of being different was “being an intelligent asshole” and also because he would never forget to rub the fact you were behind him in the grades into your face. 

— Waaaaaaait, a mamont? But it’s small! You have to give Karen – blonde, tan, tall, straight C everywhere except for her chest (then it would be D everywhere) – credit. As adorably silly as she was, she was still the only person you could have a meaningful conversation with. Except for the times when she was fucking your boyfriends. Or when she forgot that you don’t have a boyfriend so he doesn’t need to fuck random people just to spite you.

— Perhaps, if we are extremely lucky, a European edible dormouse, also known as…

— Fuuuuuck, people eat this thing? Yuck! Austria is like, literally the worst country EVER!

You feel like every second of this conversation, even though you are just listening to it, is going to take 10 years from your life span. You never knew why the two got together – maybe because Max loved fucking someone dumber than he is, and Gretchen loved placing the responsibility for her actions on her beloved sociopathic boyfriend. 

You wanted to say that this was literally a fucking squirrel, but you know better. Not like anyone is going to listen anyway. 

You get to the supposed location a few hours – already deep in the night, everything that you hate about forests – unkept environment, horrible living conditions, mosquitos, and occasionally wild animals are making you squirm each time your butt switches the place and you involuntarily sit on the cold, damp ground. You lick your lips, trying to adjust in the position in front of the fire. Fire that you probably shouldn’t be making in the middle of the private territory, but Chad said the place belongs to some weird hillbillies who wouldn’t care about a bunch of college grads having fun. 

You just finished the last of your coke – mixed with cheap whiskey and rum you got back at home, you feel just buzzy and fuzzy and relaxed enough to at least try to engage with people around you. Just didn’t want to make Jenny embarrassed – she was the one to vouch for you, even though you didn’t want to go camping with them. 

— I heard there is something happening in these woods. 

Everyone around you groans and you comply, groaning too. Chad has the worst storytelling voice and even Marty – the resident stoner of the group – is visibly unhappy about having to listen to his dumb jokes. Brace yourself for at least twenty minutes of dumb story with a cheap attempt to scare you. 

— You talk like those locals. What can be here except for drunkards? 

— Very fucking funny, Marty, I hope you laugh at people’s death too. 

Everyone groans again. 

— Shut up and let me finish! So, there is something hiding in those woods…legends…

— What legends? This place was built like 20 years ago. 

— Shut the fuck up, Max! It’s the legends before the town even was built. In those very forests…

— Forests? I thought it was like, just a suburban area. 

— It’s wild Austrian woods, why I would put you to adventure in the fucking suburbs? 

— You’re a suburb baby. 

— Shut it! God, I hate you guys. Alright, so…these woods are populated with…creatures. 

— Ooooh, like the mammoth we saw! 

— Karen, seriously, what the fuck? These woods are filled with motherfucking human-eating killers, not just some animals! 

— Then why do you say “creatures”? — Because it makes for a good fucking story! God, everyone, this is why none of you are studying creative writing! 

— Only your parents have money to pay for it. 

— This is why you all are fucking losers. Alright…god, I hate you. People went missing in these woods. Mostly tourists, never the local population – this is why police don’t care about it. Bodies were found, half-eaten, rotting under that very tree! 

— Which tree? There are like 10 of them just here. 

— More like 100. 

— Under every fucking tree! — That’s a lot of bodies. 

Chad groans, visibly aggressive. You just tilt your head to the side, only talking to him once before taking the last sip of your Coke and standing from your place. You wanted to take a chance to see those woods before you’d be going even deeper the next night – Chad was planning quite an adventure in the wilderness, to your dismay, and you wanted to have a chance to see the cool part of nature before you would grow tired of it. 

To your surprise, Karen was nowhere to be seen. Knowing the girl, she is far too innocent and dumb to be here – probably ran away to not listen to scary stories or got lost while trying to find a good place to pee. You sigh, feeling that it is your responsibility to pick her up – she is Marty’s girlfriend, but he is too stoned out to notice her disappearance yet. 

You stumble on your foot – alcohol makes you dizzy, makes you relaxed and smiley. You don’t even care that no one came to ask what the fuck you are doing – as far as you aware, they all can go and fuck themselves while you have a lot more fun things to do. Like searching for a drunk girl in the forest in the middle of the night…yeah, you really should work on your definition of fun. 

You already a good few minutes into the forest. Nothing but trees, not even a squirrel or a wolf pocking around to feast on yummy bodies. Not like you wanted to see a wolf, of course, but meeting with the wild life could be fun. You’d like to see a bear, for example. 

(And you will – just a bit later) 

— Karen? Karen, are you alright? You decide to scream for her once you are far enough from your friends that they won’t question why you are so concerned for her. Poor girl was obviously scared and you didn’t want to embarrass her even further, so you stroll through the woods, an empty bottle of coke in your hand – not sure why you didn’t threw it away. Littering isn’t nice, after all. 

— Karen? You’re scaring everyone, come out! 

You scream some more – she is probably lost, deep enough that she can’t even hear you. You try not to panic, try to be the reasonable friend – it’s usually Jenny’s task but here you are, trying to be the cool one of your friend group. You yell for Karen some more, listening closely to every little sound that could be easily taken as her whimper or cry for help. 

Nothing. 

Just how far can a scared drunk girl go? Probably not further away than you – you’re already starting to get tired and you knew that Sidhey got far drunker than you are. Which means she could lay here, somewhere, passed from the exhaustion, freezing, with forest animals feasting on her…no, no, you can’t think like that. She is fine, she has to be, or you are going to get into so much trouble with the police and her parents. You never told any of your families about the trip, so you wouldn’t want to get in trouble what ould require their assistance. 

You take a step into deeper part of the forest – and you think you saw a glimpse of…something. Metal, probably, might be her phone or that atrociour hair dye she is using to stop everyone from calling her a mouse. You also think you could hear a sound of someone breathing – heavily, gruffly, definitely a male, but you don’t really know how. You squint, trying to see through the trees. 

You see Karen. 

— Karen? God, you scared everyone…well, me. Where the fuck have you been? 

You smile and wave at her, your drunken state isn’t allowing you to see that, for some weird reason, she isn’t waving back. Or moving, so to speak. She stared at you with that terrified expression of hers and you tilt your head to the side, not udneratanding why is she like that. Something happened between her and others? 

You take another step back and Karen falls. 

Well…her head falls, anyway. 

There are a lot of feelings right now. Panic, panic, panic, a little bit of panic and, oh, who could have guessed, another riel of panic which makes you freak the fuck out and sprint – towards her. Maybe she will be alive if you could put her head back on her neck really-really fast? 

— Is it too late to convince you this is all a dream? 

The voice. 

You don’t recognize it – it’s distorted and quiet under the mask and you don’t know anyone int his fucking place anyways. The voice is weirdly happy, weirdly laughing and you want to vomit from how easy-going it sounds. Like the corpse of your beheaded friend is nothing, like it’s a fun pun, like…

You laungh forward, trying to, maybe, get revenge on your not-really-a-friend. Guy lets go of Karen’s body, allowing it to fall down, her head rolling to the nearest creek and tumbling into the water like a sports ball. You can’t even sob – the situation feels too unreal, too shocking, you are still very much drunk and when the guy simply wraps his hands around your waist, not allowing you to move even an inch, you fall limp in his hold. 

You sob. 

His hand goes to grasp your face in a tight embrace, making you gag from the smell of blood splattered all across his hand. You hear chuckle. 

— Didn’t want you to see that first. Wanted to play hero, yes? 

You sob, you tremble, you can barely master a few words out of your mouth. You want to scream, but it’s like all the air just decided to disappear from your lungs. So, you cry instead. How brave of you, Karen would be so proud of her friend not even trying to avenge her death. 

— F…fuck…you. 

You master with all you strength. Guy is laughing again – his other hand goes to squeeze your waist even more, pushing you against a tree. He wears a full mask with some red drawings on it – a satanic cult, really? You thought about serial killer, maybe, but definetly not about crazy cult maniacs running around. The more you know. 

— Oh, kitten, I’d love to fuck myself. But you’re here for this, no? 

He called you kitten – you squirm in his grasp, not wanting to give him the easy way to kill you. Something pokes you to the side – it’s a knife. Large, sharp, military-issued, you saw it in movie and action TV shows – and now the bloody razor almost grazing over your skin, through the thing fabric of your open jacter and a simple T-shirt. 

— Wh…who are you? 

Stpuid question, really. 

— Why does everyone wants to ask who we are all the time? Would you die happier knowing my name? Would it help you escape knowing how many beauty marks I have?

It would certainly help the police if you were to survive the encounter. Even though you are certainly going to die right next to Karen over there. 

He pushes a knife towards your side, the blade cutting through fabric easily, You brace yourself for being gutted alive. 

— I don’t like stupid questions. Ask something wrong and I will see if you are as pretty on the inside as you are on the outside. 

In a normal situation, you would punch him for such a corny joke. But you’re too drunk for this, but you’re too exhausted for this, but you just want to curl away in some nice place and fucking die, but not because he was the one to kill you. You certainly do not want to give him the satisfaction of being the one for you. 

So, you feel your cheeks heating up with the faintest of blushes. 

— What are you going to do with me?

He pushes the knife deeper, sharp edge cutting the thin line into your side. You sob immediately, tears filling your eyes as you almost feel blood – not a lot of it, just a tiny sharp streak – fill your shirt. You want to vomit, hate pain, and everything that is related to it. Thinking that the knife is dirty already and he would probably infect you with whatever one of the 13 STDs Karen has if he were to proceed. He stops right before the blade can penetrate your skin. 

— I’m a serial killer. What do you think I will do with you? 

You shake your head, trying to search for the question that won’t make him plunge a knife into your body. 

— W…what is your favorite color? 

Good job. Amazing job. Let’s hope you don’t like your liver all that much because he is definitely going to cut it out and eat it. 

— Red. I like you. 

Suddenly, you are being pushed to your knees. Suddenly, he is standing right in front of you – he is tall, of course, bulky and big, and he seems even bigger from this angle. Your face is pressed against his crotch and you can feel the dread slowly filling up your weins. Is he going to…

He presses a knife against your lips – you part it obediently, nervously, you feel your face twitching with disgust as your mouth immediately fills with the metallic taste of Karen’s blood. You really need to vomit right fucking now, but he is petting your head with his other hand like someone would do to a dog or a cat, and you sob. Too scared to do anything and here you thought you would finally stop letting people walk all over you. You thought it would start a journey of self-actualization and finding your own priorities, but…

He presses the knife a bit deeper. 

— Someone here has manners. Your friend here was trying to fuck me until she saw a knife. 

Sounds like Karen. You still remember her fucked-out face when she happily stumbled out of your room, with your boyfriend that you thought was never into cheerleaders. She had her urges and it was normal until she started to get off with those urges on everyone who liked you, or who you liked – and with such an innocent smile that no one was ever mad at her. 

He presses the knife against your upper jaw, laying it flat on your tongue – you sob, trying not to shake your head too much as he wipes away your tears and pushes your throat even deeper on the blade. You don’t know how it still hasn’t penetrated you yet. 

— Squealed like a fucking pig, not even fun anymore. I assume she was the whore of your group? 

You shook your shoulders, not wanting to give him any answers. He laughs, pressing the blade down and slightly turning it to the side. You feel the string of saliva running from your open mouth – he wipes it with his finger, leaving blood stains on your face. 

— Clean the knife for me, okay? I might leave you live if you would be good for us. You launch onto the opportunity to save your life so quickly, that you don’t even register the word “us” slipping from his tongue. 

You suck the knife obediently, carefully holding your tongue from the sharp edge so you won’t cut yourself, trying so desperately not to hurt yourself on the blade, that it’s almost adorable, He looks at you, the way you even fucking hollow your cheeks to clean it more efficiently, like you were sucking a cock and, with every passing second, he doesn’t really feel like killing you anymore. 

He feels like keeping you bound to him – maybe cutting your ankles so you would never run away from them, maybe tying you up to the body of your friend and holstering you both to the house, making you watch him gut Karen so you’d know not to run away from them. 

He pets your head like you were a cat – and, god, he always adored cats. 

You hear the noises from the side – your gaze darts to the nearest bushes as the guy waves his hand to someone gigantic sitting down at your side. Two pair of hands are now petting your head like you were a fucking animal – and you’re still sucking on his knife, feeling the pressure on your lips. You want to die, but there is no choice but to keep living. 

— Scheisse, what do you have here? 

A hand goes to cup your face and turns you to the side, to meet the giant, bulky figure fully wrapped in camo gear. His face is concealed with some sort of hood, which makes you shake even more. They both look like soldiers – or soldier-cultist-butchers from a horror movie. But, then again, you are in the fucking horror movie, since the big guy has Karen’s head in his hand, holding her by the hair. You sob even more. 

— Stumbled across me as I was gutting the slut. 

— Is she a smart one then? 

The guy with the knife laughs, yanking the blade from your mouth. You want to close it immediately, but the second guy pushes his finger between your lips, keeping them apart – and you are too scared to even try to bite him. Instead, you sit here, obediently, feeling the alcohol in your system working its magic. Again. Making you drowsy and relaxed, panic drained so much energy from your body, that you genuinely feel horrible. 

— No, wouldn’t say so. Obedient, more like. 

— Not a cool one either. Are you a virgin, Schatz? 

You want to lie, just so you won’t feel so fucking embarrassed because of it – but something in the brutality of what they did to Karen made you reconsider. You just shake your shoulders, not wanting to give a definitive answer. 

— Cute. Been some time since we saw a cute one like this. 

Your sobbing intensifies and the big guy suddenly yanks you on your feet. You immediately feel ill, pressing your head against the tree and emptying your insides – mostly because of the panic and partly because of the amount of alcohol you drank. Their touches are surprisingly soft on your skin, gently removing any stray hairs from your face and holding a firm hand on your back, rubbing the blood and grim into your jacket. 

You stand like this for a few minutes, choking on your own tears, vomit, and blood. They coo at you, gentle hands on your body guiding you towards them just so the second guy – a smaller one, relatively of course – could get a hand in your hair and yank it back. Hard. 

— Calm the fuck down. 

— You’re scaring her, Tigeren. 

— Aren’t we here for this? 

— Thought you liked this one. 

— I do. But…

— But? 

— Not fun to take her just now. She can help stir her friends a little. Make them run a little. 

They fucking killed Karen and they want to…let you go? They made you clean their knives, stand on your knees in front of them, and then gently helped you empty your insides – just to let you go when you could run into the nearest policeman and destroy their whole little game? Are they dumb or overly confident? 

— She could run. I would rather keep her with us. 

— They won’t get out of these forests without phones. And their car is already…shit. Spoilers. 

— Alright. But I would be the first to take her next time. 

— She won’t be any good after you, Ko. 

— Our Kleine Hase has more than one hole, ja? 

This is it. 

You take the opportunity – they are distracted by their little conversation, so you duck under the hand of the bigger man and run in the close direction to where the group is sitting. You are covered in blood, and dirt, you shake like crazy and you can barely even run straight without getting right into the various trees, but you don’t care. You aren’t strong enough to sit here and listen to their conversation – not when the self-preservation makes you forget about Karen. Not when that feeling in your chest can only be described as “She got what she asked for” – because she was a bitch, but not nearly enough to deserve being beheaded by two psychos. 

They laugh as they watch you run. Horangi smiles, nudging Konig to the side – you’re not a fighter, but still interesting enough. Adorable and obedient, just vile enough to suck on the same knife that killed your friend – interesting mix, to say the least. Hongjin always wanted a cat, but never got the time on the various deployments – and you behave like a perfect mix of a kitten and bunny. 

Konig tilts his head to the side, watching you, this pathetic little thing, run like the devil was after you. He was, of course. and he came in double, but it was still funny, how a city girl like you seriously thought you would be able to get away if they weren’t allowing you to. You’re cute, for a tourist, and he wants to hunt you some more – perfect foreplay before destroying you with either his cock or his knife. 

One down – and both of them couldn’t wait to finally get to you. 

[justakennyoshi]

HI HI HI sry i disappeared sleep and school eatin my life smh ANYGAY

who's your favorite south park character, what's your favorite hc for them, and what's your favorite canon thing of theirs >:3

also hope ur exams go/went great :D

YIPPEE YOU REPLIED ye i have some things to say (｀▽´)

My favorite south park character is Kenny!! (he appears in 99% of my drawings send help) tho other favs are Butters, Wendy, and Kyle in that order :D As for why Kenny is my favorite tbh sometimes i wonder the same thing ( •̀ - • ) LMAO jk but is kinda dumb why he's my fav ig. For this we have to go back to 9yo me who knew nothing about internet but somehow ended up watching a gameplay of SOT and i gotta be super honest my first crush was princess Kenny srs

🚶🚶🚶 not Kenny, PRINCESS Kenny. And that was my first glance to south park ever, I never had interest in the series until like 2 years ago when I decided to screw the bad opinions and give the series a shot best decision ever honestly, so ye I always liked Kenny www but besides that well I can come up here and analyze the little blond in many aspects!! about how he's one of the nicest guys in town, how of a good brother model role he is to Karen, how all he really cares about are his friends and some boobs (silly lol), about his poverty and how I can relate to some point to that too and all of his character lore about his immortality, how it affects him and the many things I as a fan can think based of that!! I also have a Kenny plushie I happen to bring whenever I go to a trip so even my parents who know nothing about south park know Kenny and are fond of the little guy <3 so yeah he's my fav

Now about hc? ｢( • ﾍ •) I have one stupid hc but is so stupid LMAO so in another post I said I like Luka Megurine from vocaloid and one day i was playing SOT and had a vision:

Hc Kenny is a Luka simp HAHAHAS

Is so stupid bc it fits him so well 😭😭😭bc for even more context Luka fans are kinda known to be... pervert and unhinged (generalizing not everyone is like that ofc just look at me a repulsed ace guy 「(°ヘ°) but yeah. It has no explanation besides combining my 2 favorites things LMAO and this is a level 4 hc so I'm gonna add another hc more sp related which should be mmhmm wow I can't really think in any right now besides the obvious ones

kenny is the most knowledgeable about drinks, drugs and stuff bc he tried em all (and died some times) bc he knows he will always come back

this also applies to piercings and tattoos, smth along the lines of "death hurt more than getting a piercing"

he will still treat Karen like a baby even when she's all grown up

he's in charge of the groceries at home

he secretly loves being babied by his friends and goes along bc he rarely gets that treatment (watch covid especial for reference about how cartman, stan and kyle treat him like their son sometimes)

for example tho is too basic lmao. I have another hc about Kenny being peruvian because I AM PERUVIAN AND I WILL PERUVIANIZE SOUTH PARK AHAHA /lh also bc after watching the peruvian episodes I gen thought Kenny has more of a peruvian vibe than Craig if I'm 100% honest, like I get the Craig peruvian hc and is cool and all but all he did in those 2 episodes was complaining to the main 4 to the point even Kenny (a very chill dude) was mad at him LMAO and by the plot is that he ended up involved, like if Craig went along to them to pretend to be a mexican band (he denied it at the end of the second episode) then he would've be part of a mexican prophecy somehow too so the argument of "craig is peruvian because he was in the profecy!!" is kinda random to me lol. But I love the fanarts and hc!!! This is just a silly thought bc like no way dude we literally have Kenny dancing to peruvian music and I'm telling from my expertise in being peruvian for 19 years that you need to vibe with the music to be one of us trust, like that yelled at me PERUVIAN pluuus being peruvian to the other hispanic countries is smth very mocked on, poverty hella exists here and I dunno I feel Kenny fits being a peruvian guy? Or well having a tiny bit of peruvian dna im fine with that too *baila que linda flor del grupo nectar*

Last question!! My favorite thing about Kenny canonically is definitely how of a good sibling he is, I also like Kyle for this reason but I think is different with Kenny due to how easy it was for him to give up on his family and not care but he does! I wish we get more interactions between the McCormicks smh stares at Kevin

And well that was it :D I hope ya like it also I actually did well in my exams!!! I'm surviving law 💥💥💥

[stitched-mouth]

List of Every Brandon Rogers Characters Ever

I don’t know why I did this. It took 4 hours. I haven’t seen ever Brandon Rogers video (shocking, I know) so some are missing. I purposely didn’t add any parody characters (the Kardashians, Annabell, M3GAN etc), but if you notice any BRCU characters missing, please comment so I can add them.

And obviously the characters not credited are played by Brandon Rogers.

David July is credited as David Burton on this list. I’m not sure when they changed their name, as they are credited as both on Brandon’s videos.

I can’t remember who Debbie and Doyle are but I must of put them on this list for a reason

Main Characters

Sam

Bryce Tankthrust

Bobby Worst

Blame/Sebastian/ Grandpa

Elmer

Cathy

Karen

Helen Brownstein

Stuff & Sam

Donna Phitts (Paulette Jones)

Damien (Onision)

Ms Cunney (Monique Parent)

Blame the Hero

Young Donna Phitts (Alariza Nevarez)

Duke Tuggler (Anthony Padilla)

Coach Best (Jack Plotnick)

Skinny Bitch (Kornbread Jeté)

Dill Flippo (Jonathan Hinman)

Family Doctor Office

Dr Gupta

Nurse Kavi (Nandini Minocha)

Lipschtiz the Clown (Paulette Jones)

Surgeon Miller (Jude B. Lanston)

Nurse Hole (Georgina Leahy)

Patient (Adam Neylan)

Another Patient (Jonathan Hinman)

Daniel (Jess Weaver)

Daniel’s Mother (Christine Sydelko)

Mad tea party

Mad Hatter

Cheshire Cat (Bazil)

White Rabbit (Benjamin Alexander Hall)

The Jabberwocky (Natalie Hawkins)

Flower (Jordan)

No one was credited in this video and most were personal friends of Brandon’s and not content creators so are nearly impossible to find. I had to stalk Brandon’s Insta to find these people.

BTW, Bazil (who plays Cheshire Cat) is a trans man who goes by he/him. Just letting people know because people are misgendering him and I assume it’s because they don’t know his pronouns.

Theatre Class

Alex Rimmer

Mason Lucas (Salim Razawi)

Oliver Hamilton (Stephen Weighill)

Linda Starford (Janet McCarroll)

Karen Shou (Karen Fokes)

Jamie (Adam Neylan)

Marlena Lewton (Rachael Ferris)

Dean Shaft (Tony Rogers)

Trump’s Emotions

Joy

Anger (Stephen James)

Disgust, Fear and Sadness were not credited in this skit and I can’t guess with all the makeup or find them.

Fashion

Jurgen Klausvonschwitz

Damien Ditsin (Logan Bubar)

Gretchen (Paulette Jones)

Sookilah (Judyth Brooke)

Dolorio (Devyne Carr)

Cheap Skate

Luxy

Lost Boy (Adam Neylan)

Chick Flick (the first Brandon Roger’s Video I ever watched)

Ashley

Ashley’s Best Friend (Vincent Marcus)

Ashley’s Crush / Cop (Jon Cozart)

Ashley’s Mom (Christine Sykdelko)

Teacher (Jude B. Lanston)

Doctor (Jonathan Hinman)

The Real Patient/ Dick’s Owner (Skye Williams)

The Real Patient’s Wife (Adam Neylan)

5 Year Old (Paulette Jones)

Since this video is now restricted on YouTube, I did this one from memory. I can’t believe I remember all these characters and actors. Thank God I rewatched it like a billion times when I first found it.

Mad funhouse

Mr Marbles/ Arlo

Dave (Jess Weaver)

Cliff (TJ Smith)

Sacha (Elise Christian)

Jimmy (Alex Diehl)

Manjusha (Nandini Minocha)

Mr Chronis (Jude Lanston)

Nuclear family

Barbara

Frank

Daniel/ Echo Noir

Unnamed Daughter

Devontay (?) (Devyne Carr)

The Office

Dorian Ditsin

James Shaft (Stephen Rezza)

Vishalam Rangan (Natalie Hawkins)

Jimmy Rustler (Benjamin Hall)

Craig Dildon (Stephen James)

Ernie (Seth Munson)

Diesel (David Burton)

Kevin (Davis Benz)

Regina (Georgina Leahy)

British Family/ The Mingeworthys

Lord Mingeworthy

Lady Mingeworthy (Georgina Leahy)

Cockwaddle (David Burton)

James (Davis Benz)

Blood & Makeup

Blah Blah the Clown

Whoopsie Wendy (Elise Christian)

Dumb Bitch Linda (Kornbread Jeté)

Blonde Bitch (David Burton)

Percy the Pervert (Adam Neylan)

Christmas Family/ The Hendersons

Patty Henderson

Paul Henderson (Stephen James)

Shelby Henderson (Caleb Shorey)

Unnamed Daughter (Elise Christian)

Spike (Logan Bubar)

The Devil (Paulette Jones)

Uncle Frank (Gabriel Gonzalez)

Notice how often Brandon forgets to name the daughter in his skits 👀?

Silly Cat

Clifton

Lenny/ Daddy (Jon Cozart)

Dr Williams (Sky Williams)

Wild West

Lucius Cowpussy

Vivian Delonprix (Georgina Leahy)

Map Maker Milton (Logan Bubar)

Lesbians

Darlene

Kathleen (Adam Neylan)

Power (David Burton)

Rock (Georgina Leahy)

Damien (?) (Logan Bubar)

Cheaters

Trina

Delilah

Gustavo

Unnamed Husband

Sleep Paralysis Demons

Felix

Iris (Paulette Jones)

Chad (Gary Nohealii Neil)

The Laundromat

Clyde Can

Bart (Joel Haver)

Debra (Mitsy Sanderson)

Barbara Ditliminor (?) (Adam Neylan)

The North Pole (included this group for fun)

Santa Clause

Mrs Clause (Christine Sydelko)

Gingerbread Man (Jude B. Lanston)

Female Elf (Georgina Leahy)

Male Elf (David Burton)

Head Elf (Kornbread Jeté)

Jesus (Jess Weaver)

Rudolph (Paulette Jones)

Tiny Tim (Jack Plotnick)

Characters I Didn’t Know Where To Put

Suck (Dominiq Badiyo)

Swallow (David Burton)

Beatrice Brownstein (Paulette Jones)

Judey Patoody (Jude B. Lanson)

Gloria Goopty (Kornbread Jeté)

Courtney (Liam Krug)

Ryder (Kassius Marcil-Green)

Barbara Worst (Katie Johnson)

American boyfriend (Ben Furney)

Ignaolo (Gabriel Gonzalez)

Debbie (Trevor Wallace)

Doyle (Trevor Wallace)

Carol Cox

Japanese Girlfriend

Deeno

Flint Dicker

Delmar Lysol

Humanoid Simulation XL-57692/ Simian

Double Licker Leroy

Paisley

Hole Bros

Rafał Sanchez Dimelo

Noah

Bryce is my favourite

[xx-alice-in-wonderland-xx]

charlie and the chocolate factory ticket winner headcannons!! (Apart from charlie)

(This is from the 2005 movie so their birthdays will be what age I think they were in 2005)

Augustus Gloop:

birthday: August 1st 1990

is German

has a younger sister called Andrea who is 6 years old

his father is a butcher and owns a butchers shop

Comes from a rich family but not as rich as verucas

he rarley eats vegetables

is babied by his mum

his mum does EVERYTHING for him - gets his clothes, cleans his room, wakes him up, gets him food, everything

hates listening to music

is very lazy

loves the colour red

Couldn’t sleep when he got the golden ticket - he was too excited to go to the factory

his mum is called gail and his dad is called otto

is so lazy he’s never hurt himself - yeah he’s grazed his knee as a kid and all that but he’s never sprained his ankle, stretched too hard or broke a bone

After the factory he was stained with chocolate so he has a slight tan now

when he found out Charlie won the factory he was so jealous and mad that he didn’t eat chocolate for a full 2 weeks

has a huge king sized bed

is homeschooled

Veruca Salt:

Birthday: November 2nd 1994

is British but has Swedish, Irish and Scottish heritage

goes on holiday 5 times a year

goes to a private school

teachers pet

only child

her father is in his 60s as her mother is in her late 20s

has seen the queen before

Can horse ride

has a massive bedroom, on-sweet bathroom, walk in closet, study room, eveything

everyone wants to be her friend at school

has a private doctor

her parents are called Ken and Maria

thinks her name is the best

has a pure gold necklace

has pure silver earrings

if she isn’t in the top set lesson at school she gets her dad to complain and move her up to the top set even if she’s dumb lol

was going to be named Kylie but her parents chose Veruca instead

has a personal hairstylist

claims she will never wear makeup when she’s older because she’s ‘perfect looking’

comes from a upper class family

after the factory her parents started saying no to her and she had a huge fit and smashed most things in the house - her parents went back to giving her anything she wants after that

loves the film ‘pretty woman’

never uses slang - always uses complicated words and instead of saying ‘yeah’ she’ll say ‘yes’

Violet Beauregarde:

Birthday - March 3rd 1992

Is American but has Italian heritage

Has a twin sister named Lilla

her parents are divorced - her sister lives with her dad, and she lives with her mom

her mum is a Karen lol

can box

is popular in school

even though she chews gum every single second of every single day she has perfect teeth - people think she has fake teeth

is allowed to swear

Loves nirvana

her mum is called Shona and her dad is called Liam

Is a pure blonde

Her mum tried flirting with mr Wonka to try and increase violets chances of winning

Thought she was gonna win

gets called blueberry girl at school after the factory

after the factory she tried to use makeup and other things to make her not blue but nothing worked

her whole closet is blue/purple

has a pet chinchilla called Gumball

loves the amazing world of gumball

Always has packs of gum on her

likes watching law and order

rarely sees her sister

her and her sister are identical

mike teavee:

Birthday: October 4th 1991

Is American but has Spanish and polish heritage

has 3 older brothers and 2 older sisters called Luca (29), Gary (30), David (22) , Sarah (27) and Tina (25),

his siblings are quite a bit older than him, the one that is the second youngest is 10 years older than him

his Parents had kids in their 20s, then had Mike quite late on

hes the baby of his family and RAGES when they baby him

has a niece who is the same age as him

has atleast one day off of school a week because he wants to play video games and if his parents try to get him to go to school he breaks things

once broke a window with a vase lol

his parents are called Norman and Clara

likes tomb raider, call of duty, watch dogs, hitman, James Bond, GTA, ect

loves heavy metal music

can do a metal scream and it terrifies his parents when he does it

his sleep schedule is he falls asleep at 4am and wakes up at 9am

Loves energy drinks

bites his fingernails when he’s nervous

hates people who call him micheal (his real name)

wants to be a twitch streamer lol

after the factory he found a way to shrink back to his regular size

when he got home from the factory and looked in the mirror he passed out because he thought he looked fresky

thinks Veruca is a brat but she’s pretty lol

has a very short attention span

likes race car driving

hates football

wishes he was born on halloween

has a whole bookshelf full of video games

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Sub!Calum Masterlist

a different kinda love (ao3) - citiesbelow michael/calum, ot4 E, 6k

Summary: Calum and Michael decide to spend an evening at home having kinky sex and then it ends up more emotionally intense than planned, but they cuddle and talk it out and everyone's happy in the end.

Anything For You (ao3) - boomercal calum/ashton, michael/calum E, 2k

Summary: Calum will do just about anything for Ashton

cant believe i made you weak (ao3) - orphan_account michael/calum E, 2k

Summary: calum probably stares at michaels asshole longer than intended. hes been a bottom in his only relationship hes ever had; with michael. hes never ate a boy out, never done anything with a boys ass. but now michaels ass is spread open right in front of his face and he was excited. he wants to make michael feel as good as michael makes him.

Daddy lessons (ao3) - Latefan_5sos1d_wherewasi ot4 M, 5k

Summary: Luke has been acting up recently and Ashton had just the idea to try out and fix this problem.

Five Golden Rules of Submission (ao3) - shesagoodgirl Calum/Ashton E, 3k

Summary: soo, thank you to kittenmichael for the lovely idea. thank you to calum for being a filthy exhibitionist. and thank you to ashton for being ready to dom calum when you need him.

I’d like to see you have your way (ao3) - iambic_pulse, phanjessmagoria ot4 E, 20k

Summary: Ashton asks Luke to take control of him one night, just for a little change of pace. It doesn’t go as well as he hopes

I Don't Need It To Be Easy, I Need It To Be Worth It (ao3) - orphan_account michael/calum, luke/ashton M, 18k

Summary: *The blond one chuckles without humour, “Alright, you wanna play dumb, fine. But don’t go anywhere near my mum again, got it?”

Now, Calum is starting to get angry too, “Who the fuck do you think you are? I'll hang out with who I want, I’m not gonna let a wanna be Billie Joe Armstrong dictate my life.”

Michael is smirking now, “Cute insult,” he says mockingly. “I wonder how clever you have to be to come up with this, what a sass genius.”

“Fuck you.”

“You’re just proving my point,” says the blond one.*

After making the resolution of becoming more athletic, Calum decides to take up yoga class. There, he meets Karen, a rich white L.A yoga mum, who's also a very happy and sweet lady who keeps invating him to the most exclusively rich people events.

One day, he meets her son: Michael. This guy couldn't be more different from his mum; he wears dark clothes, dark make-up, and he's rude.

Another issue: Michael seems to hate Calum, and wants him to stay away from Karen, and Calum isn't sure why...

I love the way you scream my name (ao3) - mlstyles257 ot4 N/R, 5k

Summary: The boys had purchased the Sybian months ago. But their lives were so hectic, that they haven’t gotten around to using it yet. First, they were working on their new album, then they were on the road on tour, before finally, after months of the toy collecting dust in their closet, they had free time. Michael was the one to stumble across the toy while…doing some research. He immediately sent the link to Ashton and Calum with a simple caption of ‘for Luke’. Safe to say, they bought it pretty quickly.

Luke is a little anxious to try out the new toy, but with a little reassurance from his boyfriends and a demonstration from Calum, he agrees to give it a go.

Pup (ao3) - orphan_account Calum/Ashton, Michael/Luke N/R, 4k

Summary: Calum and Luke are cuddled up together on the couch, while Ashton watches from the side. He's pissed. Whether its at Luke or Calum, he doesn't know, but he just wants it to end. Mikey manages to keep him calm until Luke is stupid enough to say the word. When the word slips from Luke's lips, Ashton's anger slides out of control.

Ready, princess? (ao3) - orphan_account calum/ashton M, 1k

Summary: After Calum almost calls Ashton ‘daddy’ in the middle of an interview, he has to be punished.

Rules Were Made To Be Broken, Worlds Were Made To Be Explored (ao3) - SilentlyFighting michael/ashton, luke/calum G, 30k

Summary: When rules are broken, sometimes the world is easier to live in. Calum, Luke, and Michael introduce Ashton to a world that he had no idea was so extensive in some ways and at first, he feels out of his depth, but soon he is so far in that he doesn't even care anymore.

Or, the one where the boys show Ashton that liking boys is not necessarily a bad thing and he gets a boyfriend out of it, even though his friends are major cockblocks when it gets down to it.

say you want me and dont be nice (send those shivers running down my spine) (ao3) - orphan_account michael/calum N/R, 5k

Summary: :+: Calum and Michael are in gangs, and when Calum gets slightly turned on by the gun in Michael's hands, things get dirty :+:

So tell me what you want when you want more (ao3) - kittenmichael calum/ashton N/R, 4k

Summary: “So eager,” Ashton hisses. “Want me to fuck you? Press you into the mattress and use you to get myself off?”

Calum is still struggling to breathe, lungs savouring whatever air he gets past his swollen lips, jaw trapped in Ashton’s grip. Ashton’s fingers travel to his chin, thumb wiping away some of the blood. It presses down on Calum’s lip hard. His nails dig into the tender skin, surely breaking it and drawing even more blood. Calum just kneels further, let’s Ashton guide and kneed him. He gets pliant in Ashton’s hands. By now, he has accepted that he’s entirely at Ashton’s mercy.

or, Calum and Ashton have hot BDSM sex for the first time

we’re speaking in bodies (ao3) - thedeathofhyacinth ot4 E, 3k

Summary: Calum loves his Doms and his Doms love him.

Whiskey On Your Breath (ao3) - pitypartyof1 Calum/Ashton E, 2k

Summary: “Ashton likes the taste of whiskey, maybe a bit more than he should, always has. Likes it even more when he tastes it on Calum’s skin.”

Yes Daddy (ao3) - cinnamonhood ot4 M, 2k

Summary: Luke and Calum are caught breaking the rules and are punished by their daddies.

[uncle-chambo]

So for the chick flicks (fuck I forgot to warn you for spoilers I'm so sorry):

They are your stereotypical mean girl "I only care about boys" movies, but there are reasons on why I specifically like the ones I listed.

Clueless has Cher Horowitz as the main character, and she was kind of a snob in the beginning of the movie, but I like the fact that she gets better, and she becomes more self aware of the way she treats people. Also because it was a high school movie from early on, and those rarely ever have rich girl protagonists that mean well. Cher was a darling, she was honestly a nice girl, especially as the movie progressed. I try not to think about the fact that she ended up with her step brother, because I like everything about the movie except that (okay wait, I also dont like Dionne and her boyfriend's relationship), because it was pretty good! Also its funny and I LOVED Cher and Dionne's sense of fashion. I wasn't a fan of the gay stereotype that Christian was, but it was a movie from the 80s. Didn't expect too much.

Mean Girls, was pretty toxic but the movie is very funny to me. Besides, I liked Tina Fey's character. And I LOVE Karen Smith. So yeah, I just watch it for laughs mainly.

10 things I hate about you was just there as an example tbh, it SUCKED. Its just that they are in the same category.

A Cinderella story, was based off Cinderella except if she was a more realistic girl and I liked that. Besides Jennifer Coolidge was playing the stepmom, and anything Jennifer Coolidge plays is HILARIOUS. I also liked the fact that, apart from the fact that Sam (main character- basically Cinderella) finds a cool boyfriend, she also finds solidarity with the people she was forced to work with. She was a kind person to them, and Rhonda girlbossed SO HARD. She served so much cunt, there was no one cooler than her in that entire movie.

Now saving the best for last. Legally Blonde.

I dont think I ever have, and ever will, watch a chick flick as amazing as legally blonde. Elle Woods inspires me to do everything that I do today. So basically, Elle Wood's dumb boyfriend breaks up with her when she thinks he'll propose. His reasoning? He is going to Harvard and cant be seen with a dumb blonde. So Elle Woods gets into Harvard (what like its hard) and nobody takes her seriously because she likes girly shit. She likes pink, loves fashion, and even has a fucking poodle she is always carrying around. But she doesnt back down because they dont take her seriously. She ACES law school, completes a case without revealing her client's secret, and even helps her nail tech get out of a bad relationship. Guess who plays her nail tech? JENNIFER FUCKING COOLIDGE. I love this movie so much, because in most chick flicks the bad girl is seen as a girl into feminine shit, and they make her dumb and she only ever cares about boys and is NOT a girls girl. Elle Woods is the exact opposite of that stereotype, she is SMART, she is NICE, AND SHE LIKES FEMININE SHIT. It really helped me actually be happy with myself and feel more comfy with liking feminine shit. She proved to people time and time again that she was worth it because she is a girl who likes girly stuff, and is such a role model. And this movie was made in 2001!! Most early 2000s movies were all about girls backstabbing each other, or overthrowing the evil bitchy blonde (mean girls is a perfect example of this) but this movie is different and I love it, and I will forever stan Elle Woods.

So yeah watching a movie like those with a friend seems like a very good experience- watching a genre of movies I like with a person I like.

@screams-into-my-void here ya go

You know what would be super cool? If I got to sit down with a friend/lover and binge watch "girly" movies. Like imagine watching the entirety of the Barbie movie collection with a friend. Imagine watching Clueless, Mean Girls, 10 things I hate about you, LEGALLY BLONDE, A Cinderella Story etc with a lover. LIKE???

[sevenbulletsavior]

@goreverine asked, ❛  are  you  looking  for  someone ?  ❜ 

There were times where Karen was certain Foggy would read her to filth if he knew the choices she often made for their work (or more specifically her work): the clubs in upper Manhattan were never the problem, oh no. It was the dingy street bars and back alley clubs that Karen often found that would lead the lawyer to tearing into her, especially since she often went out onto these excursions with no warning to anyone: not Matt, not Foggy, not Ellison or Brett or any person who could at least swoop in and save her. (To her credit, though, every phone she had on her was equipped with a tracking app that she had installed on Matt and Foggy’s phones that had a failsafe switch to it so technically they would know where she was.)

No. Karen Page embarked on these reckless nights with nothing but grit and determination and a secret closet full of outfits that were most definitely not meant for business casual work days. 

She’d been bobbing along through the crowd, eyes locked on the back of the head of a man who she had been stalking through the club for the better part of an hour when a hand wrapped around her bicep, grip strong, unyielding and there was a sudden jerk that caught her off-guard, made her stumble and bump back hard into the chest of someone who then spoke to her. Karen’s body froze as the question washed over her, the voice sharp, cutting, and she glanced over her shoulder to lock eyes with the stranger who now held her in a death grip.

There was a moment of hesitation, of consideration, and then she plastered on a smile that exuded a little more valley girl ditziness than one might assume she could possible pull off. “I think I lost my friend!” she chirped, trying to extricate her arm from his grasp. “She’s a cute little chick, about this tall,” a hand came up to middle of her ribs, “with super bright colored hair. Seen her? She’s my ride home and I’m gonna be super bummed if I’m stuck without a ride.”

[i-need-air]

Hybrid!AU Wolf!Bakugou Katsuki HCs Part 2.

Summary: Part 2 is here! While in part 1 it was mostly adoption and how he'd behave with you as a roommate, part two is him ✨ realizing things ✨ followed by how he'd be in a romantic relationship.

Word Count: 2k words [ oops, I did it again ]

Notes: So I said it'll be out in a few days but three [3] people asked me for part 2 and I'm a sucker soooooooo!! I could've just written a long ass fic but whatever, I thought I'd make it shorter in headcanons... hah lol right. Enjoy!

Part 1 here!

× he's a wild wolf so he's very active; like you need to understand he needs to go outside if not he'd get impatient, more aggressive, snappy, so once you took him on an easy hiking trail near your house and he loved it so once or twice a month you both go together to different places [ he demands it ]

× it's hard to keep up with him bc he's literally genetically engineered to be better than any very fit human being but he slows down for you

× morning runs at 5 a.m. bc he's insane

× is also a grandpa

× watched all documentaries on any streaming platform you could provide to him, also loves reading

× as months pass and you start to have your routine in order, word comes to you that an acquaintance is looking for a security guard at his mechanical shop two streets away from your house

× you casually mentioned it to Bakugou because he was starting to act anxious whenever you'd leave the house, so you assumed he was extra bored

× seriously, the house was spotlessly cleaned, he cooked amazingly and was occupied with your old laptop and going around the city to explore, but you guessed he wanted more independence?

× little did you know you were right but so wrong lol

× so Bakugou stared at you intensely and asked "Where?"

× it was as easy as telling him the location, him nodding and you thought he'd consider it; you didn't put any pressure on him because he already did so much to help around anyway

× well guess what bitch, next day he comes up to you saying you gotta co-sign his contract [cuz fuck society] meaning he got the job

× he was perfect for it because tall, intimidating, muscular wolf guy? who'd even mess with him? do they have a death wish?

× well, even before this he started to be... soft

× but once you really did show him you support whatever he wants to do, you give him his freedom and liberty of choice, he just reaaally changes, man

× he gets touchy, like his hands stay one second longer on your skin, he uses any excuse to have them on you, even his eyes follow you everywhere

× like c'mon, it's obvious but you didn't wanna put too much thought into it because we're respectful here

× not like you had a big fat crush on him and slowly started to realize it too

× sike bitch he knows

× you think his super-hearing didn't catch the way your heartbeat spikes up every single time he touches you? *please*

× i think he knows before you know

× meanwhile he is working to discover his feelings too

× so your relationship slowly turns into a couple's like relationship but without anything official and of course no kissing or such [ sadly ]

× would get jealous easily

× basically because nothing is talked between you two and deep down is insecure

× why the hell do you smell like other people? was it just a hug or something else? hell, why would you even hug people when he's right there??? just ask and don't touch some extras????

× another thing he does is getting very close to you while you talk to somebody else; scoffs and glares at them too

× ok so!! gifts! he really appreciates any gift you give him but scolds you if you do because you genuinely don't need to do that

× of course he just scolds you and calls you an idiot so I do hope you already learned his language

× it basically means that you shouldn't have done it, he's really grateful but seriously you shouldn't have

× like that one time you saved up money to get him a good computer and he forgot how to speak for like an hour

× the softest thank you ever afterwards

× still sounded rough but he was shocked as fuck

× one thing that remained in your brain were his friends, as sometimes he'd mention them

× so you took it upon yourself to find them, of course with his permission

× gets genuinely overwhelmed and plays it off saying he wouldn't mind knowing where those idiots ended but you didn't miss the way his voice trembled

× for you to find them you needed names and any information he could provide so that's when he, after a long silence and a mesmerized look on his face, started really talking about his life

× which was fucked; won't get much into detail but he was indeed in a fighting ring, people came and bet on whoever was stronger, he even had to fight his friends, everything was filled with abuse and their conditions were subhuman...

× just overall awful

× you couldn't help but hug him tight, feeling him shake in your arms

× with a hesitant voice he asked if you really did think there was a chance to find them

× just couldn't believe how amazing he felt in your arms

× or how your determination that night made his heart clench and took a big weight off his shoulders

× anywho;;;; after his first paycheck he takes you out on cute dates

× never calls them that, just demands you dress up [helps you out cuz boy got style] and takes you to a nice coffee shop or something

× AND on your fifth not date cuz you're not official but there's this weird tension between you date he finally kinda s n a p s

× you honestly didn't expect the waiter to flirt with you, he came out as very pushy and even if you were a lil uncomfortable you smiled and brushed it off

× when the waiter suggested giving you his number the sandy blond hybrid growled

× which i shit you not made the whole coffee shop freeze

× and you froze too

× but neither of you could say anything because the oblivious fuck kept talking

× basically joking about how you should keep your pet in a leash, to which you got up, threw some money on the table, grabbed Bakugou by the hand and leave before he'd rip someone's head off

× it only took you to touch Bakugou's arm to calm him down as he followed behind you wordlessly

× so you stood outside, angry, deep red eyes on your figure

× and silence

× his hand still in yours

× it was warm and amazing and you felt angry but your heart was beating loudly; angry at the waiter that you wanted to go full Karen on and get fired but excited because that growl shook you to the core, as if you could tell it was territorial and it was because of that pig flirting with you and did Bakugou Katsuki just lace his fingers with you?!

× "Oi." he interrupted your thoughts

× he turned your frame towards him and pulled you [kinda harshly] into him

× you'd make a comment about it but brain empty, just Bakugou Katsuki blushing

× "You're mine, you get it?"

× skdjflglykshs

× it sounded like he asked but it was a demand so oops you're his now ok bye

× like I said, boy isn't dumb so he lowkey knew you felt something too

× legit from there on he's just soft as fuck

× has a hard time opening up but visibly tries for you

× still continues to be a pain in the ass, Bakugou Style, but with a loving teasing attitude behind it

× his eyes give him away all the time

× they shine whenever you're in his field of view so congrats because, and this is the best part:

× WOLVES MATE FOREVER 💕💓💞💗💝💟

× oh yeah, he's yours, no takebacks

× he isn't one to half-ass the relationship; you're his now and he'll do anything for you

× big time touch starved it hurts

× because he is shy

× so whenever you introduce him to hand holding and cuddles, he can't get enough

× not big on PDA [ and not recommended since human-hybrid relationships are kiiiinda frowned upon but it's getting better ]

× although at home it's another deal

× seriously cuddle him; he's big into the protector vibe so he's a big spoon almost exclusively unless it's to sleep on top of you

× speaking of! accept that even if your relationship isn't that intimate, he'd still hint about sleeping together in the same bed

× so you better catch on when he does because he'll just click his tongue and call you needy

× while dragging you to bed

× sleeps holding you, his nose in your hair or in the crook of your neck

× unless it's summer then stay on your side 💅

× you know those kisses that just scream "I can't get enough of you"? that's his whole kissing vibe in a sentence

× hell, even the gentlest kiss gives that vibe away and it'll 100% leave you breathless

× doesn't have experience but is a very fast learner

× pays very close attention to your body language

× really into biting your skin enough to leave marks

× wear his hoodies

× no, I'm fucking serious, wear them now

× his chest puffs and he turns into a blushing mess when you do it the first times because his scent is on you

× scenting is a big thing for him so of course he's gonna love it

× 10x more territorial because now he has a mate to protect

× jealous but trusts you

× still very jealous though

× let's all pretend he is definitely not scenting you before you go out because it's in his nature and it is embarrassing

× the first time he tells you he loves you it's when he's feeling vulnerable

× the search for his friends is still on-going, he feels less than adequate as a providing mate, is pissed at the world for treating him like an inferior animal when they created him, everything is piled on his shoulders and whenever than happens he closes off

× you notice immediately

× will not tell you at first

× it's only when you go to bed and he turns his back to you when you really know it's bad

× even if you fought before, he'd angrily snuggle you at night-time

× now it's so different

× hug him, whisper sweet nothings in his ear, pull a blanket all over you both and big spoon him, he'd start shaking and talking in no time

× will hide his tears from you but you'd know

× "You're the best fucking thing that happened to me, [Y/N]... I—... Shit... I love you so much."

× neither of you slept that night

× excuse you? drink some water and pray to jesus;;; you talked about feelings, ok? communication is key in a relationship, puh-lease

× [ i have this whole nsfw hcs post already cookin in my brain so maybe I'll make it happen cuz y'all know he has a mating season and all that comes with it 👀 ]

× back to being children of jesus here

× thanks the moon, the heavens and all the gods for putting you in his life; boy didn't believe in destiny but deep down he thinks you were meant to be

× you still better wash the dishes or you'll get your ass kicked.

Extra:

× you did find some of his friends, little by little, and even if he acted nonchalant, like k das cool, it was obvious he was extremely happy

× so they did get adopted too

× you got in contact with them on social media and they were all very excited about meeting

× so it was a chaotic meeting with a dog hybrid called Kirishima and a mouse like vibrat yellow guy called Kaminari

× they all were looking for Bakugou too since they were very worried about where he ended

× Kirishima shed manly tears when seeing Bakugou

× as they instantly welcomed you in their small group, they informed you both that the majority of the squad was adopted and they're in contact, while they're still actively looking for the others

× cue to the softest expression you've seen on Bakugou in public followed by "That's good"

× silence

× shock and silence

× Kaminari turning to you and whispering "You did this" with a hand on his heart, lips trembling as he wiped an imaginary tear

× insert instantly snappy Bakugou

× when everyone laughed and continued to make plans to meet up with the others, he just looked at you conversing with them, soft expression again on his features and his chest warming

× "Oh! Look, he's doing it again! Quick, take a pictur—"

× "SHINE!"

[sublimecatgalaxy]

hey

can you write about the cassie x nate and lexi x fez and just the tension between them once they realise that both the sisters are dating the people who absolutely hate each other

Of course!

This one was a challenge for me since I'm not used to writing third person or writing characters who are already written! I liked writing this way too much though. So fun.

KEEP SENDING REQUESTS!

Warnings: swearing, angst, tears, mention of violence.

Word Count: 1.7k

Cassie didn’t always pick up on things as fast as she should’ve

I guess it was because she was fulfilling some statement typically made about blondes, her hairspray and copious amounts of self care products clogging and fogging her brain, making her inept to keep up. She would spend her time, making sure that she wasn’t perceived as everyone else, making herself one of a kind. It was hard to do that when she was following in the footsteps of her best friend, collecting the rhinestones that fall off of her tanner skin. Her best friend was like Regina in Mean Girls, and Cassie, well, she was Gretchen. She wasn’t dumb like Karen, she didn’t have the qualities of Cady. She was a follower, a pawn. She was a nice girl, misled and misguided by the amounts of trauma that she has shoved into the back of her mind, unable to escape.

But mental health and trauma isn’t an excuse to be a complete dick though.

She wasn’t a backstabber, at least she never believed that she was. I guess you could argue that her actions, what she was doing definitely qualified her as a backstabber but she tried her hardest to give herself the benefit of the doubt. She couldn’t deny the fact that she was sleeping with the enemy, her best friend's abusive ex-boyfriend, Nate Jacobs. To her, he was her secret and she was his. It was dirty and he liked that it was dirty, that she was dirty. He liked even more that he could do anything to her without her protesting, knowing that he could have one finger on the call button and tell Maddy everything.

Cassie often fantasized about Nate having to choose between her and Maddy. She’d like to think that, between the two of them, that she and him shared a greater connection than the trauma bond that bound Maddy to him like a spell. She would play the situations out in her mind, his eyes finding hers as he finally chose her, Maddy discarded to the side.

But, like it was explained, Cassie doesn’t pick up on things. And it’s become increasingly obvious that her care for others feelings has gone out the window, like her dignity and her panties discarded in the back of Nate’s truck.

When she told Cal about Fezco being the one to brutally beat his son into a pulp, she thought she was doing the right thing. She worried that Cal would get the police involved, that her and Nate’s secret would get out with the confiscation of her phone, her texts with him included. She wanted to cover her ass and Nate’s ass at the expense of those around her.

She thought she did the right thing until Lexi spoke up when they were in the confines of their bedroom. Cassie couldn’t understand why her sister cared so much, why she was so against her throwing Fezco under the bus. Lexi was a bystander, someone who specifically went out of her way not to get involved. Fez was a punk and, though Cassie didn’t want to admit that Nate probably deserved it, Fez made his bed and now he had to lay in it.

On the other hand, Lexi couldn't understand what happened to her sister to make her so cold. Lexi knew Cassie as someone who would’ve done anything not to inconvenience those around her. Lexi admired the fact that, for the longest time, Cassie was selfless and kind. She was no longer that person and it scared Lexi. They were close for their whole lives, though the obvious disconnect in their timing of puberties, they were sisters and they experienced everything together; their dad leaving, their parents fighting, their moms addiction. They were always there for each other, and now there was a rift, the root of it being the men around them.

Lexi was frightened by Fez the night of the New Years party. She watched as his fists connected with Nate’s face, the blood dripping from his skin as he watched in horror. She watched as Fez passed her, his jaw tight and eyes to the ground as he slipped out of the party seamlessly. But she couldn’t stop thinking about the whole night that they shared, talking, flirting. She knew Fez through Rue, only hearing of him and seeing him occasionally at a party. But she was more intrigued by him than frightened as more time passed.

That’s why she went to his store to tell him about Cal. She wanted to get involved and she wanted to fix the mess that her sister put him in, even if it meant sticking her neck out. And though she never came around to actually telling him, Cal ruined that, she still felt that the glances shared between her and Fez furthered whatever relationship they had sparking. And it was true.

Weeks went by, both girls getting in deeper with their men who they both kept as a secret from one another. Lexi would wonder when Cassie would go out every Friday, not returning until the next morning. But Cassie had the same suspicion of Lexi. She wondered why her sister was awake so late, a grin on her face as she blushed at the bright screen. She wondered where she would ride to on her bike, hours going by until she finally came home, a similar grin on her face. Cassie was silently happy that her sister had something else taking up her time other than school and sticking her nose in Cassie’s business. She still wondered why she wouldn’t tell her.

That was, until she found out.

She was shocked to pull up in Nate’s truck, the man next to her as they stared, shocked, out the window and into the small convenience store. Lexi and Fez sat on the counter together, their cheeks red as Lexi leaned in, gently setting her head on Fez’s shoulder as the two talked. Nate was shocked to think that Lexi, a girl he’d known since kindergarten, would so willingly jump at someone as shady and bland as Fezco. Cassie was shocked at the fact that, even though Lexi knew what Fezco did to Nate, she didn’t care. It made sense to the blonde why Lexi was so upset when she told Nate’s dad about the fight between the two men. It was personal now.

The thing Cassie was most upset about, was the fact that she had closed herself off to everyone else to Nate, so far that Lexi couldn’t even share that she had someone she loved in her life. She felt embarrassed, ashamed, her cheeks reddening as she turned to Nate, his eyes still locked on the two. But before she could say anything, she realized the two sets of eyes on the truck, their jaws dropped.

It took a few moments for Cassie to get out of the truck, her feet hitting the ground with a thump as she made her way nervously into the store. She was embarrassed to say the least, but she was angry, she felt betrayed. Betrayed by the lack of updates on her sisters love life, and betrayed that she would date someone as violent as Fezco.

Lexi was way less forgiving and way more angry than Cassie would’ve ever imagined. Her face reddened ike a fire hydrant, smoke coming out of her ears as Nate approached her sister. His hand gently wrapped around Cassie’s waist, his face smug as he turned his gaze to Fez. Fez was aloof, not totally surprised by the situation, but more surprised that Lexi had kept him a secret from the closest person in her life.

Lexi looked between the two of them as Cassie did the same, wondering how they got in this position.

Nate and Fezco said nothing, just watching the two sisters fume in silence, wishing someone would say something, the silence being worse than any fight. When Lexi finally opened her mouth, Cassie already felt defeated.

“You are such a cold hearted snake, you know that?” Lexi asked simply, her voice low as she stood in front of Fez, almost protecting him from Nate’s gaze. “Him? Nate? This is why you were so happy to tell his dad? You didn’t care about the cops getting involved, you were just afraid that your newest fuck wouldn’t want to use you anymore.” Lexi folded her arms over her chest, watching as tears sprang to her sisters eyes. But she didn’t feel bad, she was seething.

Cassie felt empty after her sister was done yelling. Lexi yelled for ten minutes, shocking the rest of the people in the room but mostly Fez. He had never seen the girl so hot headed and he never expected that something like this would’ve set her off. But let’s be honest, Fezco never seemed to understand the ins and outs of sisterhood, nor the teenage drama that went on within this specific friend group. He just wanted Nate to leave his store without a word, Cassie following him like a kicked puppy.

Any words that Cassie had for Lexi, any argument that she could’ve put up was squashed as Lexi turned away from her, not bothered by her tears. The rift grew between the two of them as Cassie responded with silence, knowing that her and Lexi’s relationship would never be the same after this. And it was her fault. She didn’t tell Lexi, the one person she could’ve, about her feelings for Nate. Maybe it was because she knew that it was stupid in the first place. That Lexi telling her that she was dumb and that she was going to get her heart broken would become too real and she just wanted to enjoy what she had for now. But because she didn’t say anything, Lexi never had the opportunity to tell her about Fez, how happy she seemed before Cassie got out of the truck still replaying in her mind.

Maybe she was a backstabber. Maybe she was selfish and Nate was just this drug, this high, that gave her meaning and purpose. Cassie and Nate returned to the truck soon after, the need for rolling papers discarded as Cassie licked her wounds, Lexi ranting for the next hour to Fez as he listened intently to her every word.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[c3llybaby]

𝐢𝐢. ✭ 𝐋𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐃'𝐒 𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐄

JULY, 1975; EDDIE

(Excerpt)

My eyes shifted from being stuck on my shoes to now her face.

It was roundish, her cheeks cherub-shaped. Two dark glimmering eyes peered back at me. Her hair was this soft heap of curls, with this sort of red tint. Well, it was really more like strawberry blonde. Or maybe it was sort of ambery or goldish.

Anyways, what I really remember catching my eye were these faint freckles that curled from her right cheek to her temple. Other brown specks were peppered across her face but I couldn't stop looking at this one special mark that was at the same level as her right eye. It was sidled up against it too, hugging her skin.

"What's all over your face? What are those?" It was my turn to be curious now. My focused gaze was snapped off in one clean motion when her face changed from being curious like me to this frightening scowl. Her lips pouted out, baby brown eyes sending me a death wish. Palpitating, my heart thrummed against my ribcage. Girls my age were scary enough when they were being nice. When they were mean they were terrifying.

"What are you starin' at, Dumb Dumb?" The girl crossed her arms tightly across her chest, continuing to glower at me. "Don't you know starin' is rude?" It wasn't just her face that looked funny. Her voice sounded weird too. It sounded like the people in the movies.

"Sorry," I mumbled, shifting against the trailer park's picnic table. My eyes fell back to the dusty ground. "I didn't mean to." It was then that I realized that she wore a pair of cowboy boots. They were floured with dirt. Just like in the westerns Uncle Wayne always had playing on the television. "I like your boots."She took a big step onto the picnic table I sat on, turning herself around to sit beside me.

"Hey." Her elbow jabbed into me, demanding my attention. Cautiously, I let my eyes trail back up to look her in the eye. I made sure to move the place I looked at around this time. "I'm Chance. Chance Lee Stargrove. I just moved here with my mama and my daddy. We live just over there." She pointed out her new place before offering her hand to me. Her fingernails were painted cheaply, a chipped pink shining off of them.

"I'm Eddie. Eddie Munson." I took it, giving it a good shake just like I had seen the grownups do in the movies. A good old cowboy handshake. "Can't remember my middle name."

"That's okay." Shrugged Chance, her soft hand slipping from mine. "Wanna play?" Her meanness streaked into sweetness, a smile crinkling up her eyes. I had to run over what she offered me a couple of times before I understood. I couldn't even remember the last time anyone wanted to play with me. Why her? Why did she want to?

I decided not to question it, gulping air before answering. "Hide and seek?"

SEPTEMBER, 1985; EDDIE

(Excerpt)

Background Music ———————————— -Leopard's tongue by Karen O, Danger Mouse- ⇆ㅤ ||���ㅤ❚❚ㅤ▷||ㅤ ↻

"Who is that?" Charlie said curiously, craning his neck behind me to get a better look. Jeff followed suit.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, mid-yawn. After pivoting around, I got my answer. A girl was coming through the main doors. Once I saw her, a switch flipped. Everything in my world seemed to slow down.

She was wearing this blouse-like white jumper that was fluttery on her as she walked. It sort of floated along with her. She was wearing shades, her head turning slowly to pass us a look. It was her shoes that gave her away, that made me realize who the hell she was.

Black cowboy boots were clad on her feet, white threaded designs ran all the way down the leather material. It was Chance fucking Stargrove. The girl loved loved loved cowboy boots. For an entire year when she was seven she never took those stupid things off. It was her.

The girl who was my only genuine childhood friend. Scratch that, this chick was my best friend. The last time I saw her she was being dragged away by her grandma to go back to Texas. She was gone. Chance was never supposed to come back to Hawkins so what the hell was she doing here?

I'm sure my mouth was half-open, frozen from shock as I flipped my stare up to meet her shaded stare. The girl shot back a scowl when I stared too long. Chance hated that. She hated when people stared for just a little too long.

Looking at the right side of her face, my theory was confirmed. A small birthmark stood out, accompanied by a handful of other freckles. It was her. It was Chance fucking Stargrove. The scowl she dug into my face, burned into my brain.

Did she realize it was me? Could she recognize me? I looked a lot different now. A lot. I mean I used to be a skinny little loser and now here I was as a metalhead dressed in mostly all black. My hair was way different now. I had been growing it out for a few years and now my curls fell a touch past my shoulders.

Impulsively, I sent her a smile. She didn't return it. Instead Chance tossed her hair back to its original place, turning her head back so she wasn't looking at me anymore. I watched fixedly when she strutted past us, almost like she was floating.

Those black cowboy boots dug into the shitty linoleum. That's when I noticed that I wasn't the only when staring. Everywhere this chick went, people turned their heads to get a better glimpse. They actually turned.

"I know her." I finally breathed, eyes wide, trying to take as much of her as possible before she turned the corner. "I fucking know her."

"Yeah sure, Eddie. If you know her then my girlfriend really is real." Charlie muttered, pressing his back again the lockers.

"You can't know her," Jeff added pointedly, shaking his head. "She's new. I saw her moving into Officer Stargrove's house when I was biking by. She's probably his kid or something."

"I didn't know the sheriff had a daughter." Gareth pulled his brows together into one of his puzzled frowns. "The dude's always been a total shut-in. My dad knew him in high school and said he was a total nerd. Kind of like us."

"Yeah, Gareth, well even shut-ins have kids and I know his," I said steadily, tongue settling on the roof of my mouth.

"The question is, what's she doing back in Hawkins?" Charlie asked, scratching his Metallica shirt-covered stomach.

"Well, I guess there's only one way to find out." A lump of courage began to grow inside me, almost driving me to run after her. That is until the warning bell rang out, splitting my ears like it usually did. "Shit," I said under my breath, glaring at the stupid automatic bell. "Classes first. Then I'll talk to her at lunch." An air of excitement rushed over me, passing into my friends as well.

BOYISH//EDDIEMUNSONXOC FANFICTION

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐕𝐄 ᴏꜰ ᴇʟ ᴘᴀꜱᴏ, ᴛᴇxᴀꜱ ɪꜱ ᴍᴏᴠɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴡᴋɪɴꜱ, ɪɴᴅɪᴀɴᴀ. ɪᴛ'ꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴ ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ ʙᴜᴛ ꜱʜᴇ'ꜱ ꜰɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʜᴇʀ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ. ꜱʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴀ ꜱᴇɴɪᴏʀ ɪɴ ʜɪɢʜꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴏɴᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴛʜᴇɴ ꜱʜᴇ'ꜱ ꜰɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ꜰʀᴇᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴏʟʟʏᴡᴏᴏᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴜʀꜱᴜᴇ ʜᴇʀ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴅᴏᴍ. ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ᴏɴᴇ ᴘʀᴏʙʟᴇᴍ. ᴇᴅᴅɪᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴍᴜɴꜱᴏɴ.

𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐎𝐍 ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀɴᴄᴇ ꜱᴛᴀʀɢʀᴏᴠᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴋɪᴅꜱ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇꜱᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ʙʟᴇᴅ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ. ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴄʀɪᴇᴅ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ. ꜱᴏ ᴡʜʏ ɪꜱ ɪᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴᴄᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ꜱᴛᴀʀɢʀᴏᴠᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇʟʏ ꜰᴏʀɢᴏᴛ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴇᴅᴅɪᴇ. ɴᴏᴛ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ ꜱʜᴇ ꜰɪɴᴅꜱ ᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴇ'ꜱ ʜᴇʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʜᴏᴏᴅ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ꜱʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴇᴇᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ʟᴇꜱꜱ, ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀᴜᴅᴀᴄɪᴛʏ ᴛᴏ ᴀᴄᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʜᴇ ᴅᴏᴇꜱɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴇxɪꜱᴛ. ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ʙɪᴛᴄʜ.

Go to my Wattpad to find the full story! : C3llybaby

The work is the same title of this post, I'm mainly using Tumblr to post short excerpts from each chapter in order to advertise!

★☆ ────── 𝕭𝖔𝖞𝖎𝖘𝖍 ────── 𝐛𝐲 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞

❝ 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘪𝘯 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭, ❞

❝ 𝘚𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦'𝘳𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘴, 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 ❞

── 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐢𝐬𝐡 • 𝐣𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭

｡･ﾟﾟ･　TROPES　･ﾟﾟ･｡

◦ Childhood friends to strangers ◦ Strangers to enemies ◦ Enemies to friends ◦ Friends to lovers ◦ Love triangle ◦ Lust for fame ◦ Parental Issues ◦ Freak + Freak

┎┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┒ TRIGGER WARNING Contains themes of... ┖┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┚ ◦ Blood ◦ Gore ◦ Fear ◦ Swearing ◦ Death ◦ Mention of suicide ◦ Drugs ◦ Rare use of gay slurs

*＊✿❀ DO NOT READ IF ❀✿＊*

You're xenophobic, racist, colorist, sexist, homophobic, or transphobic. Kindly, suck my dick.

ﾟ+*:;;:*　SOCIALS　*:;;:*+ﾟ ◦ TikTok: C3llybaby.wp ◦ Snapchat: Celestethat1kid ◦ Spotify: Notsoquirkykid

Wattpad: C3llybaby

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗ AUTHOR'S NOTE! ╚═══*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═══╝

• Hello, my name is Celeste and I'm so happy that you chose to click on my book! I hope you'll enjoy what you read and know that I love interacting with my readers, whether by DM's, Posting on my message board, or sending me art/edits of my stories. I love each and every one of you dearly. Happy reading, Love!

Yours truly, Celeste

• Disclaimer: I'm aware that in canon Eddie was held back a couple years and he's a super senior. However I changed it so that he was never held back and that he is a seventeen year old teenage boy.

★☆

MY BOUNDARIES (AKA THE SIN LIST) - Please do not advertise your Eddie Munson fan fiction. Someone did this in like the first chapter and said something like "If anyone gets bored this is my Eddie fanfic...blah blah blah" and it really rubbbed me the wrong way. Other characters are completely fine! -Please do not use slurs if you are not from the group that the slur has been used against -Please do not comment that my characters are cringy/embarrassing. This has been happening in the first chapters of BOYISH because Chance is not nice to Eddie when they first meet. It's an enemies-to-lovers story, Babe, what did you expect? Saying that my characters are cringy/ embarrassing makes me feel like you are saying that my writing is cringy/embarrassing. If you have a thought or problem with how I write, please by all means channel it into constructive criticism. I put a lot of time and effort into this story and I do not want to be made to feel bad about it.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Copycat: Agent Zero —(Marvel Fem!Oc)

A/N: So much fun to make everything ten times more complicated than it should be -Danny

Words: 1,243

Phase Four Masterlist

Previous chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘Boys Like You’ -by Dodie

xxi: Desperate Measures

Billy kissed her hand before sitting on the fancy chair in front of her, she felt goosebumps at the action, there was something about him, even if she wasn't a fan of who he was, that she enjoyed.

"Are we about to have a business meeting?" The man asked with a hint of humor.

"Yes, so please behave, Mr. Russo."

"Very well, I'm all ears."

Cat's heart was pounding, she'd worked outside S.H.I.E.L.D and away from the Avengers' watchful eye, and she was still acting with good intentions, but in order to do the right thing, she'd have to do the opposite.

"I've been thinking about Spider-man's situation... I heard he's got no support, maybe we can help."

Billy frowned. "And why would we help an Avenger?"

"He's not an Avenger, Billy. He's a boy that messed up and he's desperate to fix it. A boy with no money, just him and his aunt, whether he killed that guy or not, I bet he's willing to do anything to get out of trouble."

The young man pondered her idea, he leaned back on his chair. "On paper is a great opportunity, but I doubt Spider-man will associate with us."

Cat raised a brow feigning innocence. "Rich people do charity all the time. Aren't we the pillars of the community?"

"People like him are taught not to trust us."

"You talk as if you were some kind of boogeyman," she chuckled.

Billy smiled, but it was far from friendly. "Don't play dumb, Kati. It doesn't look good on you."

Cat's expression hardened. "If you leave it to me, I'll make sure he accepts it."

"And you promise he'll do what we ask?"

"He'll have no choice."

Billy reached out to grab her hand, but instead of shaking it, he kissed it again.

"We have a deal."

"One more thing," she clasped his hand. "Do you know anything about that auction?"

"Ah yes, the auction..." Billy grabbed an agenda and pulled out a small piece of paper. He handed it to her. "That's the next event. But you shouldn't be wasting money right now..."

"Don't worry about it," she winked at him, standing up and blowing a kiss as a goodbye.

"Cat!"

"Sorry I was off the grid, I was—"

"Peter got arrested!"

She almost dropped her phone on the sidewalk. "What!" People looked at her, she smiled apologetically and positioned the phone back on her ear. "It's like 10 pm! Why the hell would they arrest him at this hour?!"

"The Department of Damage Control came and took him, he's there all alone and I got calls from Ned's parents and MJ's dad," May's voice quivered."Cat, what do we do?"

Cat entered an alley, she teleported back to her house and searched through her drawers, grabbing some old IDs and her leather jacket. She changed her hair from Katrina's red to her usual brown as well as her eyes, then seized the keys to Steve's old motorcycle.

"Mouse, call Nelson and Murdock."

Cat entered the office with a confident step, she had no time to lose. At the front desk was none other than Karen Page.

"Hi. I'm here to talk to one of your lawyers."

The blonde woman was up to her nose with paperwork, but she still managed to give her a kind smile even though Cat hadn't spoken in a polite tone.

"Of course. Miss..?"

"C.C." She shook hands with Karen. "Stark."

She noticed her astonishment, but whether the woman thought it was crazy for a Stark to be hiring lawyers so far away from the fancy, renowned firms, she didn't say.

"Okay, if you can wait here just a moment—"

"That won't be necessary," Matthew's shirt had the sleeves rolled up, it looked like he was about to call it a day when Cat had called him. She felt guilty for keeping him in the office. "Miss Stark, please come in..."

"Thank you," Cat told Karen briefly with a smile before following Matthew.

She took a seat in front of his desk, no hand-kissing for her this time. As soon as he sat down, though, she began talking sparing him from flirty jokes.

"Peter got arrested. They have him and his friends at the headquarters of Damage control, they're interrogating him about the missing tech."

"You know you can't hire me, it has to be Parker himself or his aunt."

"May called me before they took her as well, she asked me to get you."

"Me, specifically?" He raised a brow.

Cat smiled. "She asked me to get a lawyer 'cause she knows I worked at a law firm during the blip. Is your friend Foggy busy?"

"Not more than usual. Why?"

"D'you think he can work on MJ and Ned's cases? It shouldn't be complicated, they didn't do anything so all he needs to do is go there and help them go through the interrogation."

"Why couldn't I get the easy job, huh? Do you like stressing me out?"

Cat wasn't used to Matthew taking things lightly, especially in moments where good people were in danger. Her brain processed his tone way later than her ears, so for a moment, she thought he was genuinely upset.

"If you think it's too much I can look for another lawyer, I have enough money to hire anyone I want—"

"I was joking," Matthew frowned at the last part of her sentence. "Where did you get the money?"

"Just focus on helping Peter," she got up. "I gotta stop whatever's happening at Damage Control. Are you guys taking the case?"

"Yes," Matthew called her name one last time, quietly so Karen wouldn't hear. "Please, don't do anything that could put your identity at risk."

"Which one?" She replied sarcastically.

He'd run out of jokes. "The one that still has friends to lose."

"I'm sorry, could you repeat your name?"

Cat leaned forward on the desk and pushed her ID closer to the secretary. "C.C. Stark. I'm here to pick up the Parkers and the kids you abducted from their respective homes."

"Hey, excuse me, lady, we didn't—"

"Oh, you must be the man in charge, yes?" She walked up to the curly-haired guy. "My uncle financed this place, he'd be very disappointed if he knew you're mistreating his ward."

"Tony Stark had no nieces," the man crossed his arms.

She raised a brow. "Hold this." Cat handed him her helmet and pulled out her phone, looking for Pepper's number.

"Okay, okay, fine— hang up!" The man said grumpily. "What's your name again?"

"C.C.," she grabbed her helmet and looked at him expectantly. "Am I going to be standing here all night or can I see the kids?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Stark, but they are currently under investigation—"

"That's all good and dandy but that doesn't mean you have the right to keep them without adult supervision."

"We're the supervision."

She caught movement at the entrance: Foggy and Matthew had arrived. "Look at that, the lawyers are here! Can you please take them to their clients?" The man stuttered a reply, she frowned a little. "What? May Parker hired Mr. Murdock, I'm sure she mentioned it."

"Of course," he gave a harsh look to the men behind him. "Please, take him to the Parkers."

"Good evening, Miss Stark." Foggy Nelson stood next to her, he offered to shake hands with her and the damage control officer. "Mr..?"

"Cleary."

"Mr. Cleary," he smiled. "I'm here to represent Miss Jones and Mr. Leeds."

"I'm here for May and Peter Parker," Matthew stood next to Foggy.

Cleary glanced at Matthew's cane. "Sure. Come this way..."

"Miss Stark, thank you so much, we got it from here," Foggy smiled at her, he had a sweet face.

"Thank you."

"Stay here," Matthew insisted.

"Of course, we need to talk about your fees," she replied casually.

"Yeah, we do." He replied.

Next Chapter—>

Taglist.

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[angelicamerlinbarnes]

TUA MEAN GIRLS AU

(please understand that by AU, I mean they share an incredibly small amount of things in common with the original source material which I barely remember BUT the “story” takes place in the setting of the film) (not to be misleading or anything :p)

(BEWARE: abuse, bribery, immoral deals, bullying, homophobia, outing, transphobia, violence, abortion, teen pregnancy, etc.)

(If you can handle watching Umbrella Academy, this will be fine for you.)

(Regina) Five is the king of this school, and he has no plans to give up that position. He needs it to protect his people, as few and far between as they are, and himself, if he’s honest - he’s a trans and ace-aro kid in platonic love with the health class mannequin who he calls Dolores. Ruling with fear is basically all he can do. While he’s mean, you’ll soon realize that everything he says is more of a blunt observation that will improve your life if you just heed his advice. He doesn’t respect almost anybody - not the jocks, theatre geeks, nerds, cheerleaders, band kids - no one. However, if he does respect you, you have his trust and protection. And as a thirteen-year-old genius who only takes advice from always-slightly-drunk art teacher Agnes, his protection is pretty damn valuable: the last person who tried to hurt one of his people will never walk again. Leonard Peabody - he assaulted Vanya, and he paid. Five beat him to the point of hospitalization without getting a single speck of blood or bruise on himself, and Leonard’s the one who walked away in handcuffs. Do not fuck with any of Five’s people, or you have to fuck with Five. And you do not want to fuck with Five.

(Gretchen) Vanya is quiet and subdued, to the point where people question how she’s a part of the school’s most popular trio. If you talk to her for long enough though, it becomes clear: she knows any and everybody’s secrets. She writes for the school paper, and is known to write the stories her subjects don’t want anyone else to find out about. Like Diego, who she outed as bisexual last year to throw people off the trail of her own secret relationship with Sissy, earning her an ex-girlfriend and an ex-friend. She’s been trying to win Diego’s forgiveness ever since, but he won’t talk to her, returning every single one of her letters and gifts. (He’s blocked her number and all of her socials, which she only created to talk to him anyway.) She doesn’t know why Five keeps her around - Klaus loves to gossip, but Five never seems to want any of her secrets. She’s pleasantly surprised to find out that he apparently actually enjoys her company. (What?)

(Karen) Klaus is a fucking mess. He plays the dumb blonde (well, brunette) despite being a genius in his own right, even if he’s not at Five’s level. (To be fair, he’s pretty sure no one is.) He’s a drag queen on the weekends, a hangover from his time in the mafia gang, which he joined with his boyfriend Dave for six months after running away from home. Dave died in a gunfight, and Klaus has been fucked up (well, more than usual) ever since. Anorexia, PTSD, anxiety, depression, self-harm, suicidal ideation, the works. But as lonely as he is, addicted to a fuckton of hard drugs and liquors to cope, he’s still an alluring, aloof, and bubbly popular girl, wearing pink skirts and glittery heels and leather corset crop tops to school every day. No matter how much his father Reginald beats him for it, he keeps being himself, because he’s brave and because even if Reginald hates him, someone far more important loves him… Diego. Diego, who Klaus has kissed under a million stars and in the lollipop shop down the road and on top of a cafeteria table. Diego, who Klaus has chased through the rain and into the street without rest or hesitation. Diego, whose words and promises and scribbles are immortalized on Klaus’ skin for all to see. Diego, who Klaus will love no matter how much bigotry they encounter or dickwads they’re beat up by or miles they put between them. Diego, Klaus’ ex-boyfriend.

(Cady) Allison is the new girl, and she has plans for the advantage being underestimated has brought her. She challenges Five on her first day there, earning his respect, and joins his group at the urgings of Klaus and Vanya, who like her company. A fashion queen, she acts as though she’s unfazed by any and everything, but nobody knows her true heartbreak - she still writes letters to a girl back home. Allison was expelled from her Christian private school for falling in love with a girl named Natalie, who she kissed in janitors’ closets and who she beat up racist and homophobic blondes for. She has no tolerance for bullies, and yet becomes one under Five’s guidance - until she upends his reign as queen bee and signs her death warrant. (Though she later finds out he was more angry at her for stealing Klaus and Vanya’s affection than his popularity.) Now her only hope for happiness in her final days is Ray, the Shakespeare-quoting nerd in her English class… or Luther, the quiet dork in the Star Trek t-shirts in her math class. Fuck, she misses Natalie.

(Aaron) Luther is the posterboard for toxic masculinity. He’s on the football team but hates it, preferring his math tutoring and fantasy books to tackling drills. His bisexuality is his deepest secret - he once slept with Diego when they were drunk at a party after a football game, and he can’t get it out of his head. He keeps thinking about what might happen if somebody found out - would he be shunned like Diego? Trapped like Vanya? Plastic like Klaus? He doesn’t know. All he can do is continue to be kind and hope Allison loves him enough to love every part of him, beyond his good lucks and British accent and fucking Ray. So Luther stands up to Five, and pays the price. He compliments Klaus on his skirts, and pays the price. (Diego seems to simultaneously love and hate him for it, it’s confusing.) He holds the door open for Ben, and pays the price. He’s big enough to be scary, kind enough to be overlooked - but after that incident with Vanya, everyone looks at him like he’s a monster to be locked up. And soon enough, “star student” Luther, “teacher’s pet” Luther, “completely under the principal’s thumb and completely friendless and completely terrified of the world around him” Luther might just break under all that pressure.

(Janis) Diego is the school’s resident outcast and rebel punk - he wears skirts and fishnets and whatever the fuck he wants because if Klaus taught him anything when they were dating it was that gender is a construct and he looks hot in leather. They broke up when Diego was outed and Klaus chose to stay quiet when people started shunning Diego for it, but despite it all, Diego still loves him. He misses when they used to paint their nails together, because he has to paint his own now. They used to stare up at the stars together and fall asleep in the grass, curled up in each other, on the nights that Klaus would run away in terror from his dad and Diego would breathe with him and let him press his hand against his heart until Klaus’ panic died down. His heart still flutters when he sees Klaus smile around a lollipop… but he won’t take him back. He won’t. He just can’t forgive him. So instead, he talks to his mom about everything. He plays soccer with his sister Eudora. He paints shit while smoking weed with his best friend Lila. He thinks of Luther being scared of him and laughs. You know, he was almost in Allison’s position freshman year - Five loved him, and so did Klaus and Vanya, but then Vanya outed him to the whole school for no reason like a day before he and Klaus were going to come out together. And now they’re all estranged, and Diego has the strangest feeling that he’s lost his family, even though his mom is the only real family he’s ever known. But maybe he’s wrong. Because Klaus keeps sending him “anonymous” letters, leaving them on the porch and spilling secrets Diego never even would’ve imagined him having. But forgiveness is still a question - that is, until one day Diego gets a letter in a different handwriting: Five’s, telling him to man the fuck up and love Klaus before he kills himself trying to tear the stars down for Diego’s own personal pleasure, and suddenly, Diego is crying on his porch in the rain, missing a slender, sassy skeleton in his arms and a pink, bruised but unbroken heart in his chest.

(Damien) Ben is everyone’s favorite, and the kindest person in the world. He used to be Klaus’ best friend, but that ended when Ben got into an accident (there was a bus involved, that’s all you need to know) that landed him in a wheelchair and Klaus couldn’t deal with the mental pain it caused him. They still stare at each other longingly from across the cafeteria, but never say a word to each other, not even in class. But beyond Klaus, Ben has never had any friends, though he has a million aquaintances: he’s the only student in the school that everyone loves and respects. Five holds the door for him, though Ben can tell without having to ask that Five would rather nobody know that. He hangs out with Diego because he knows Diego’s lonely, even if he never wants to admit it. He advises Allison not to let anyone control her, telling her he knows Natalie from summer camp and that the deaf girl still loves her and reads every single one of her letters. He gives Vanya his lunch when she skips to cry in the gym after Diego yells at her, even though a part of him might think she deserves it sometimes. He plays sports with Luther after school and offers him an ear and some jokes about his problems, and a few touchdowns when he’s feeling good. He acts as Ray’s student consultant, because he knows how hard Ray works to treat him like an equal. He tutors Eudora in basically everything, but cuts study sessions short to play video games when he can tell she’s too stressed to think. He’s ace and pan and proud about it; he runs the school’s GSA; he defends Diego and uses the right pronouns for Lila when they’re alone without Lila ever having to him he’s trans. He bugs Reginald’s office in one of their many meetings and records enough conversations to get him fired when he tries to expel Five. And finally, karma rewards him - Klaus shows up at his house with a box of brownies he baked himself, all covered in smiley faces, and shoves them into Ben’s hands, shaking his head when Ben assumes they’re for Diego. I miss you, Klaus tells him, and Ben tugs him down into a kiss, pulling away with a stammered apology. I’m sorry, he blushes, and Klaus beams, leaping into his lap and hugging him closer than ever, the two of them queerplatonic partners from then on, forever linked by their fingers in the hallway. Happy. Finally.

Lila is the shy artsy kid who carries around one of those leather brown satchels that looks threatening but is really just code for “I think I’m too cool for a backpack so I stuff all my incorrect homework and favorite comic books into this sack of knockoff pig skin instead”. He’s covered in paint most of the time, and wears Alice in Wonderland combat boots and Sharpie-doodle-covered jeans and big black hoodies and soft grey beanies; he’s trans and hacked off his own hair until an undercut with choppy slash bangs and there’s pink streaks in them, of course, to match the bubblegum he’s always chewing. His nails are bitten and black, and his skin is decorated with tattoos that are almost exclusively Bo Burnham quotes, with the exception of Diego’s name right over his heart. (Diego has Lila’s name over his too - and Klaus’ and Eudora’s, though he’d never tell them that.) He gives his skirts to Klaus and gets along well enough with Five, them both being trans and all, and everyone else knows him as that kid who’ll spread rumors and steal things for bribes. It’s not like he can get in more trouble than he’s already in - he lives with his bigoted and abusive bitch of a mom. But Diego is his best friend - the one he shoots and stabs things with, the one whose ex-boyfriend he talks to because Diego will never admit to himself that he misses Klaus like he would his own lungs if they were torn from his chest, the one whose sister he’s in love with. Wait. Fuck. Oops.

Eudora is Diego’s sister, and the captain of the soccer team. She wears her red jersey with the white numbers to school every day, and is covered in tattoos of magical creatures, because she believes in all of them. She wishes she was a werewolf, and has dressed up as one every year for Halloween since she was ten. (And she’s let anyone dressed a werewolf give her a hickey just in case that turned her. It’s good to have all your bases covered.) She has a broken down pick-up truck named Travis-Trevor-Thomas-literally-any-other-T-name that she loves beyond belief, and drives Diego to and from school in it, though he grumbles about it every day. She eats lunch with him even though he insists he’s fine eating alone and wants her to go away, because she knows he’s lying, and she hangs around the GSA with him sometimes too. She’s lab partners with her brother’s “secret” ex-boyfriend, and is concerned by how quiet he is - she’s seen enough documetaries to know that quiet never means anything good. But unfortunately, she has her own academic drama to deal with - Hazel and Cha-Cha hate her for helping Klaus, and she hates them right back, leading to failing grades in both English and history no matter how brilliant her work is. Mostly, though, Eudora tries to get to know Lila - the pretty, angry, sarcastic emo boy she shares half her classes with, and flirts with every day despite how he ignores her. (ONLY because Lila still smiles and laughs every time she flirts with him, and Eudora knows from Diego that Lila thinks Eudora only flirts with him because it’s some sort of game of “if you get the guy who’s hard to get you win the hundred dollar bet” deal. Otherwise she would’ve backed off immediately because not doing so would be harassment.) Eventually, though, Eudora runs off-field in the middle of a soccer game and over to the stands to ask Lila to prom. Finally, she gets a yes - and, most importantly, a real smile, curled against her own mouth like a Cupid’s bow of promise.

Sissy is Vanya’s ex-girlfriend, and Fuckwad Carl’s current girlfriend. She hooked up with him after breaking up with Vanya, too drunk to even speak, and now her belly’s ballooning and her parents are gonna kick her out unless she marries him like a good Christian woman. And she really didn’t expect herself to tell them to fuck off for this one, but apparently lesbianism makes you do crazy things - so here she is, standing on Ray’s porch in the pouring rain and hoping for the best. She’s depressed and shows that by reading the Bronte sisters; Klaus opens the door for her and brings her notes with doodles all over them which makes her cry; she misses Vanya but hates her for what she did to Diego. And yet Vanya’s there when she goes to the abortion clinic, smiling and joking and holding her hand like always. One day she’ll have a baby and she and Vanya will raise it right, but fuck - that baby sure as hell won’t be Carl’s. (Because fuck that guy.)

Ray is a humanitarian, so, naturally, he’s also the student council president. Five has never mistreated him, because everyone loves and respects Ray, even his critics. He nurtures Allison’s intelligence and encourages Vanya’s musical habits. He tutors Klaus in basically every subject but never talks down to him because he knows the kid’s a genius, just a bit spacey from all the drugs (and the ADHD, let’s be honest). He helps bring Luther out of his shell and takes Lila out shopping for boy clothes, all of which he pays for himself. He’s not scared or offended by Diego’s sarcasm or intensity, instead greeting him every day in class with a new dad joke. He treats Ben to intelligent conversation like an equal and doesn’t let Five be so harsh he’ll regret it later, though he still lets him say what he means and be himself. Everybody knows he’ll be the real President one day - even if for now he wears pajamas to school every day because, in his words, “Clothes are just too much fuckin’ work, man.” (There’s a possibility he may have still been high from hanging out with Klaus that day.)

The Handler is the evil physics teacher. (I don’t know why I said evil clearly all science teachers are evil.) (Yes this is coming from a place of aggression but hey at least I recognize that.) (Plus he deserves it. So fuck you.) (*sticks tongue out*) (Don’t you see how mature I am?) (I’m sorry I’m sorry back to your regularly scheduled programming -) She’s Lila’s mom, and continually and constantly misgenders him (and Five!) in class, not even because she hates trans people, just because she hates him (and Five!). Five always challenges her dictatorial rule, refusing to participate in solidarity with Klaus when she forces Klaus to sit out for wearing skirts. She keeps trying to flunk Ray too, the little bitch, but he just keeps doing so well that she can’t even come up with a falsely plausible reason to fail him! She’s been bribing Hazel and Cha-Cha to flunk certain students for years, unaware that Lila has been stealing from the Handler’s own purse to double those prices for those students to ace their classes. Everybody hates her, and for good reason. I hope she gets fired. (Shut up and let me project onto fictional characters, assholes.)

Reginald is the evil principal and Klaus’ abusive dad. He sends Klaus to school every day in a boys’ “uniform”, which Klaus has to change out of in the bathroom every day with borrowed clothes from Allison. (Anything he owns lives at her house; they have an agreement.) Once Klaus forgot to wash off his nail polish before Reginald came home and he broke all of Klaus’ fingers one by one. (Agnes wants to beat him into dust with a rolling pin.) Klaus stays at Diego’s house a lot, though Klaus refuses to come after they break up even though Diego makes it clear that his door will always be open. Five, therefore, is super protective of Klaus - every time he comes over, he’s super respectful when Klaus is in the room and then verbally rips Reginald to shreds as soon as he’s gone. He once stayed over for an impromptu sleepover when he noticed that Klaus was terrified-ly coming up with more and more ridiculous excuses for Five to stay and not leave him alone with Reginald, and as soon as Klaus was asleep, tiptoed around the house to set up bugs and cameras he got from Ben. He gives all of the evidence to Eudora to deliver to the police, who arrest Reginald and leave him to rot in a cement cell for the rest of his sorry fucking life while Klaus goes on to live Happily Ever After because fuck you and your stupid as shit traditionalism and inhumane experiments you lying scheming fuckwad of a psychopathic monster toad.

Hazel is the exhausted English teacher. His secret? He hates every book he teaches. Also he’s been taking bribes from the Handler and Lila because teachers don’t get paid enough in our society. Also his wife Agnes of twenty years divorced him a year ago for the whole bribery situation and he’s been sleeping in his car and using the school’s facilities to appear fine. Yeah, Hazel’s a mess. ANYWAY - Five is the only one who seems to know what’s going on, and Hazel would like to keep it that way. He knows Klaus is a genius with words but doesn’t know how to tell him that, and he knows Diego’s favorite book is Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen and has agreed to take that secret to his grave. (What, it’s a good book!) His class is the only place Diego and Klaus dare to interact, and he’s noticed - they often pair up for assignments and take to the floor or beanbags in the corner, often cuddling up and giggling over whatever book or assignment they’ve been sent off to read or do. Hazel also has another hopeless couple he teaches, Lila and Eudora - eventually Hazel starts leaving Lila’s sappy poems about Eudora on Eudora’s desk when she comes in for her own class (separate from Lila’s) because there is no other way those two idiots are getting together, let’s be honest. There’s just too much communication. Mostly Hazel misses his own wife, Agnes - but he’s been out of luck since he cashed it in with the science department, hot cocoa whore that he is.

Cha-Cha is the history teacher, and she has all the sass and dry sarcasm required for that job. She will beat a bitch up for telling her she can’t teach critical race theory, and plays Drunk History and Overly Sarcastic Productions in her class basically every day. She doesn’t believe in tests because if she did she’d have to grade them, and she likes animated kids’ movies and TV shows, especially Paw Patrol and Sofia the First. (Yes, obviously she’s single. She’s also ace-aro, so who the fuck cares.) She takes the Handler and Lila’s bribes because she runs an underground wrestling ring and would like to continue feeding her pitbulls gourmet food. The only kid she’s truly on edge with is Five, who often challenges her in debates - she can’t decide if she’s impressed or enraged about it. Whatever. School’s out, bitches.

Agnes is the art teacher who knows everything about everybody. All of her art is of donuts. (Of course.) She’s a damn good cook, especially of pizza - and donuts. (Naturally.) She always has munchkins available for her students - and donuts! (She always saves the chocolate glazed and jelly ones for Five and Klaus.) She likes to rap explicit beats in her car and play her music so loud it shakes the ground and you can hear it from miles away. (Obnoxious.) So she doesn’t restrict her kids’ projects because that’s not what art is about. (And because it would make her a hypocrite, obviously.) Sure, she divorced Hazel, but hey - she’s living her best life, and eventually he’ll come to his senses and come crawling back to her at three a.m. to badly lipsync a Justin Bieber song about missing her, and she’ll leap out the window into his giant hairy arms and kiss him on his ginormous teddy bear face. Because Agnes, at heart, is a hippy. (And that’s love, bitch.)

Grace is Diego and Eudora’s (and everybody’s!) mom. She goes out for drinks with Agnes on the weekends and to clubs with Pogo every Friday (the librarian/unofficial therapist who acts as her mouthpiece when Diego does something stupid and won’t listen to her advice, the moron). She’s kind to everyone, but takes no one’s bullshit: you hurt her kids, you die. Important Notice: Everybody Is Her Kid. So be kind to everyone, dickwads. Well - except Reginald. And the Handler. Both of whom she bitchslaps for mistreating her precious babies. She then takes in Klaus because Diego loves him, and Ben because Klaus loves him, and Lila because both Diego ad Eudora love him. The only reason she didn’t take in Sissy was because Ray already had her taken care of. She’s a literal angel sent from heaven and we should all be worshipping her like the goddess she is I’m sorry I don’t know when this became Grace Appreciation Day™ but hey I’m here for it and I have no regrets.

[tsuzuruchipalace]

rating mankai company based on character design

Note: I will take into account hair, color scheme, sprite poses, mostly outfits that are not from plays or scouts, and memorability. This is half an objective view and half my personal opinion.

Disclaimer: I curse a lot for comedic effort. I am mean because I am funny. No, you cannot disagree.

Spring 🌸

sakuya: you get what you see. a literal spring babey. his hair and color scheme’s a little generic, but he’s mankai’s poster boy, so that’s understandable. speaking of generic, his main pose is just this emoji 🧍‍♂️ his outfits tend to be kinda basic, but any outfit with a mostly pink top gets him bonus points. 6/10

masumi: okay his hair is elite. probably one of the most memorable character design aspects among the cast. his mole and eyes also make him very pretty. love my boy’s dark color scheme. unfortunately, points must be docked for baiting us with the emo fit, then as the story progresses, he starts dressing like the trust fund kid he is smh. 9/10

tsuzuru: i love you tsuzu but. my mans is so basic. if he didn’t have such a great personality, he’d be as bland as untoasted white bread. the saya of a3. his best design aspect is the fact that he doesn’t dye his roots. his outfits look comfy, but not necessarily eye-catching. 4/10

itaru: everyone who starts a3! with no knowledge of these characters has one (1) thought about itaru. sec sea man. so obviously there’s something appealing/good about his character design. i think part of the appeal is his fuck-all demeanor. obviously, his eyes and hairstyle are attractive, but the way the artists draw him gives him an air of not caring, which is also attractive in a way. his dyed tips are also nice. he looks kinda lame when he dresses professionally, but his casual outfits hit. especially the ones with light pink. 8/10

citron: although i’m not a big fan of the “character is foreign and therefore must talk and dress different and be funny” trope in these types of media, his fashion does make him stand out from the other characters who tend to have more basic clothes. citron’s summer, travel, and autumn outfits SLAP and anyone who says otherwise has bad taste. his hair and eyes are interesting, but his overall color scheme can be a bit repetitive. 7/10

chikage: i hate this guy’s fucking bowlcut. fucking salad bowl lookin ass. every outfit is the same turtleneck and sneakers in two alternate colors. his outfits are so plain. only thing i like is his casual outfit glasses. HOWEVER. that’s the point. he’s supposed to look boring and blend in because he’s a spy. it’s a smart design, i just don’t like it so im docking points. stay mad about it. 5/10

Summer ☀️

tenma: im yawning. you think tsuzu was boring? this guy has orange hair and i still find his design boring. that’s how you know he’s basic. he’s got generic messy shounen protag hair. he could be from any property. if i drew fanart of him, people would ask where he’s from. he either dresses like your slightly homophobic frat boy classmate or a grandfather who gets his shit stolen by the asshole kids next door. 2/10

yuki: he has the r a n g e. all of yuki’s casual outfits hit. they’re all different, but cute in their own way. to no one’s surprise, one of the best styled characters. though i like his general color scheme, i’m personally not the biggest fan of his hairstyle. it’s okay, but a little plain at times. but i think it suits him well. 7/10

muku: i love him. muku’s design is what i love about this game. you see him, and you immediately know what his character archtype is supposed to be. he’s the soft, cute boy. and if this was a mediocre series, that’d be all muku is. but since this is a3, he’s so much more than that. he’s smart, passionate, sensitive to others’ feelings, and protective. a3 does a great job designing characters that look exactly like their archtype, but having a much more developed personality than that. getting back to the actual subject at hand, i love his hairstyle and color, as well as his outfits. you can never go wrong with light pink hair. i may be biased but fuck you. 10/10

misumi: another great memorable design. his eye shape and hair style are really unique. his outfits also elevate his design. street fashion is always a plus for me. though sumi’s design is special in the world of a3! where most of the characters are just. guys. regular lookin dudes. i think that outside of the game, his design would not be as unique. 8/10

kazunari: personally, im a fan. maybe it’s cause i have an affinity for blonde anime boys. but his hairstyle is pretty unique and his trendy looks set him apart from most characters, even outside this game. and he has a pretty lovable expression in his sprites. his fatal flaw is that his fits are either a hit or miss. they’re either really cute or wtf. at least he’s memorable. 8/10

kumon: i love that he reminds me of an owl. his hair and eyes are very cute and his color scheme is great. and i think they did a great job making him look related to juza, but still very much his own character. but he dresses like your classmate from middle school that looks like a nike-sponsored highlighter. yeah, he’s the sporty one, and i like the windbreakers but... i cannot excuse his summer fit. also, i find his design a little tame compared to some of the other characters in the game. 6/10

Autumn 🍂

banri: i hate his hair. i hate it so much. i know in canon it’s nice and he takes good care of it, but it looks so fucking greasy. the style makes him look so greasy and it makes me mad. he looks like an asshole. i mean, he is, so it fits. if this dumb bitch changed his hair more often, i’d like his design so much more. you saw this coming; his love for cheetah print is fucking repulsive. BUT, maybe unpopular opinion, minus the animal print, his sense of fashion is not bad. why do yall clown on it. if the fit is fresh, the fit is fresh. anyway, he looks like an ass, but objectively his design is kinda eh. 5/10

juza: im sorry im DEADLY fucking biased when it comes to juza, but he’s so handsome. his hair is a such a rich, pretty shade of purple and his eyes are so mesmerizing. his hairstyle is so attractive. his face is so pretty. yeah his design isn’t crazy unique, but the simplicity just works. im so sorry im this man’s whore i didn’t choose this life... but i can stop being a simp for one second to say that he has a boring fashion sense. i mean it’s kinda hot how simple his outfits are but his travel fit is good-- wait a minute i just remembered the fucking sandals. docking one point. 9/10

taichi: okay shut the fuck up i LOVE taichi’s design. so eye-catching and fun. as i’ve said i love street fashion, and taichi’s lil e-boy fits are right up my alley. that shade of bright red goes so well with his fashion sense, making a really cohesive design. with his main outfit, you can tell he purposely dresses like that to be trendy and it’s so smart. 10/10

omi: im sorry omi stans but his design is kinda,, boring. i legit had such a hard time identifying him when i first got into this game. the scar saves it a bit. but... only a bit. he’s just got. hair. and a dad outfit. i mean his tits are huge, but i don’t think i can call that a character design aspect. kinda forgettable design. i don’t dislike it though, so he ranks higher than tenma did. 3/10

sakyo: im not sure why but i really like sakyo’s design?? the contrast of his light hair and his dark clothes is nice. also, megane rights. even when i thought he was an npc during my first playthrough, i really dug his design and thought he was memorable. i actually cannot pinpoint a reason why. i wish i had more constructive things to say... but upon thinking about it, he has a karen haircut, which kinda dampers my thoughts on his design. i like his moles, but i honestly did not notice them until the game pointed them out. 7/10

azami: azami has a damn good design. i don’t think anyone can deny that. the long hair, the contrast of black hair and bright blue eyes, his eye shape. all very eye-catching design aspects. and the street fashion style strikes again. the color scheme matches well with everything. this review is lame, but there’s really only good things i can say about his design so. 10/10

Winter ❄️

tsumugi: it’s so late and im so tired of looking at these sprites. anyway, tsumugi’s design is okay. i think his color scheme’s a bit limited and his outfits are a bit meh. he has a more respectable bowlcut than chikage, but it’s still a bowlcut and it’s still boring. i think the best part of his design is his eyes, they’re very soft and kind. but other than that, tsumugi looks pretty basic. 5/10

tasuku: tbh, i didn’t even realize that the godza member tasuku was the same character as the winter troupe guy in the game’s opening until the middle of episode 3... yeah. im slow. ooooooor... tasuku has the worst fucking design in the game. yeah i said it. come at me, but tasuku’s design fucking sucks. i literally thought he was a minor character until they forced me to realize he wasn’t. his fashion sense is... questionable at best. i look at that man’s hair and think he doesn’t shampoo. he looks so bland i could dry up from looking at him. im sorry but his tits do not make up for the sheer fucking snorefest of his character design. he’s so boring i won’t elaborate anymore. 1/10

hisoka: ya get what ya see part 2. i like that i can tell he’s the sleepy and mysterious character just by his design, but honestly, that’s a character trope im generally not a big fan of. so i wasn’t thrilled by hisoka’s design at first. but it’s effective. i like the hairstyle with the white hair, but i’m not too fond of his color scheme. his outfits look comfy and soft though. it makes sense, but it’s nothing too memorable if you compare him to characters outside the game. 5/10.

homare: ah, now this is a memorable character design. his hairstyle annoyed me in the beginning, but now i love it. it’s so unique and fun. and i like the purple. i also like his outfits. very classy. but honestly, most of his charisma lies in his face. i think that the pure eccentricity of the hairstyle is enough to put him in the top tier without considering any other element. you really could not find this design in any other media. fuck it. i don’t need to consider anything else. 9/10

azuma: i’ll be honest. im not a fan of long-haired anime men. especially the pretty, flirty types. i don’t know, i just don’t vibe with them. originally, i didn’t like azuma’s design, but now i do. i don’t know how, but i think it’s because azuma is just that powerful. his ponytail makes it more bearable for me and i like the way his bangs frame his face. he just has pretty eyes and face. unfortunately his color scheme is a little too repetitive for me and his casual outfits are a little boring. 6/10

guy: maybe it’s because he looks dead inside, but i love him. i don’t even know this character that well yet, but i think his deadass expression is great. the darker under-eyeline sets him apart from the other characters and i love how he dresses. i think his hair is kinda eh. i personally like it, but objectively, it’s meh. it’s a solid design, but ngl it’s nothing special when i really think about it. 6/10

[dream-a-little-bigger-x]

Chapter 2 -- Perfect Harmony | Charlie Gillespie

Summary: Emily Fox is a talented 17-year-old with a passion for all things music. Her dream is to become a successful singer-songwriter one day. But to achieve that dream, she needs to get into one of the most prestigious music schools in her district – it’s all been part of her plan since she was six. Sadly enough, those schools cost a ton of money that her parents don’t want to invest. They don’t even want her to pursue her dream. So, now Emily’s hustling, working at the music store to save up to get into college. That’s until she meets Charlie, an annoying seventeen-year-old boy with the same dream as her. The only difference is, he’s just doing it. He doesn’t need a fancy college to pursue his dream to become famous with his band. He just writes his songs and books small gigs here, there and everywhere. Will meeting Charlie defer her from her dream college, or will he actually help her achieve the dream?

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x OC (Emily Fox)

Warnings: mentions of death, sexual assault

Important note: the characters of Charlie, Owen, Jeremy and Madison are based on the characters they play on the show and i do not own their names, only OC are mine. The songs aren’t mine either, they’re all from the show except for one.

Chapter Two 

~|Emily Fox|~

Tuesday mornings are somehow the worst. I don’t know if it’s because I spent too long at the Music Store cleaning up and trying to forget about the cute guy with the pretty eyes, or if it’s because the weekend is so freaking far, although closer than it was yesterday. “Hey, Muffin, time to get up. You got to get to school,” Uncle Mitch’s voice wakes me up that morning a second before my alarm goes off. I hate him for always coming in to wake me when I’ve got my alarm set for 7. “Thanks, Uncle Mitch. I’ll be down in a couple minutes,” I tell him with one eye open. “Promise me?” I open my other eye too, only to find him looking at me with that worried look in his eyes. The one that he always has when he thinks I’m nearing rock bottom again. “Promise,” I reply and wink at him to reassure him I’m fine. “Can you go downstairs and make me some coffee, please?” He nods his head curtly and turns on his heel to leave my bedroom, so I can get ready and he can go make some coffee. Throwing my blankets off me, I turn on some music and start getting ready whilst jamming to all the tunes in my music library. It takes me about fifteen minutes until I’m dancing down to the kitchen where Uncle Mitch hands me a coffee and an already buttered toast. “I’m glad to see you dancing again,” he tells me with a smile before sipping from his own coffee. There’s a small smile tugging at his lips, showing his pride a little. “Have you been writing again too?” I shake my head in response. “I mean, I do have like a small verse and a chorus for a song, but I’m really stuck.” Mitch presses his lips together into a somewhat sympathetic smile. I shrug. “I’m sure it’ll come back at some point. Who knows where I’ll get some inspiration.” I finish my toast and coffee quickly, kiss Uncle Mitch on the cheek before grabbing my backpack and heading out the door to school where I meet up with Madison. “Hey Hot Mama!” her voice chimes through the hallway as I’m at my locker unpacking and packing books. “Hey, Chica!” I greet back. “How was work yesterday? Haven’t heard from you at all.” I close my locker, shoulder my backpack and follow her down the hall to our first class of today. “Locked up pretty late last night. Had some of the worst customers ever. First a Karen thinking she knew more about bass guitars than me. Then this dude that thought he was just so slick. It was disgusting. Such a douchebag.” “I sometimes wonder why you still work there,” she shakes her head disapprovingly. “Because I need to pay tuition for the college I want to go to, Mads. Not everyone can get a scholarship.” Madison has received a scholarship from her number one college she’d wanted to go to since she was ten. Mostly because her parents want her to go there, but it’s been planted in her brain ever since then and it hasn’t changed. Especially not when she’d received the message she was going to be able to go on a scholarship. “I know, Ems,” she rolls her eyes at me, knowing how lucky she is, “But I mean, you still could work somewhere else?” I halt in the middle of the hallway, causing another student who was walking behind me to bump into me. I mutter a sorry before turning back to Madison. “There’s nothing I’m better at or feel more at ease than between music instruments, Mads. You of all people should know that.” She tuts then nods her head in agreement. “I know, I know…” she links her arm with mine, “But still… You could have a different job if you wanted to.” She wiggles her eyebrows and I know exactly what she means. However, I don’t answer because as much as I know what she means, she knows my answer without me having to say anything. And that’s how we leave things before going to class. Madison is a sweetheart. We’ve known each other since Kindergarten and there’s no one else I’d rather spill all my secrets to or giggle uncontrollably with when Uncle Mitch says something weird or the Queen Bee, Brianna, says something incredibly dumb. She’s been my rock with Uncle Robert’s death, telling her mother to send me and Uncle Mitch food when we didn’t feel like cooking. She’s listened to my endless rants about Karens and douchebags at the shop, and my heart-wrecking cries when Jake broke up with me last year. Not only that, she believes I can do anything I set my mind to, especially become a successful singer-songwriter. Madison is the only person on this planet I truly need. Madison, Uncle Mitch and Uncle Robert, were he still alive. Nothing more, nothing less. With all of that running through my mind – along with the cute douchebag from the Music Store – I don’t even notice where I’m walking until I’m bumping right into someone. “Oof! Sorry! I—” When I look up, I realize I don’t even want to apologize. I’ve apologized to him more than once and for all the wrong reasons. “Jake.” My apologetic expression changes to a what I hope would be a scowl. Although, let’s be honest, when bumping into an ex-boyfriend you used to love with all your heart, your broken heart still does a little leap. “Emily, hey!” he greets and a smile shines through. I’m not going to lie, I kind of missed that smile. Who wouldn’t miss those perfect plump lips curling up into a perfect smile? Dammit, Emily Fox, focus. Remember this boy broke your heart into a thousand more pieces when it was already broken. “What do you want?” I ask bitterly. “Brianna and I are throwing a party at my place tonight, if you’d like to come…” he trails off at the end, scratching the back of his neck, knowing all-too-well I wouldn’t for any money of the world go to a party thrown by Brianna and Jake. I’d much rather die. “I have to work,” I tell him simply, which is not a lie. Ash asked to close tonight. “Oh, okay…” he trails off again. “Anything else?” I raise an eyebrow at him, hoping, praying, wishing, I can get out of this situation as soon as possible. He opens his mouth to say something, and I nearly want to punch it close, but I refrain from doing so, especially when he closes his mouth again. “No, I’m sorry for bothering you…” He looks more regretful than he did when he broke up with me. “Uhm… I’ll see you around, I guess.” “Yeah,” I simply say and watch him as he walks away from me. There’s nothing I hate more than seeing Jake in the hallway. It’s just another painful reminder of what we were and were not. Just another painful reminder of the worst year of my life thus far.

After school, Madison and I head to the Music Store together. She needs to pick up some groceries from the store on the other side of the street, so she figured she’d walk me to work. While she talks the entire walk there, I keep thinking about Jake, but mostly about the cute douchebag from yesterday, wondering if he’d come back today. He did seem persistent. “See you tomorrow, Ems,” Madison says, waving at me as I enter the store. “See ya, Mads!” I shout back before closing the door behind me, the bell ringing overhead. “Thanks so much for closing up today, Emily,” Ash says first thing when she sees me. “Oh, that’s no problem.” “Just finish up with the last couple of customers and then sweep and sort the cash register.” I nod my head, understanding every single one of my task at hand today. While customers roam around the store, I grab my textbook English and finish up the exercise we’d started making in class, but none of us finished. Someone’ll ask me if they need me or ring the bell obnoxiously if they want to pay. “Hey, could you help me out with something?” I look up from my book to find a tall blonde guy in front of me. His hair falls in swoops, framing his face nicely. The kindest eyes I ever did see. He looks a bit nervous too, which makes me wonder why. “Sure, what can I help you with?” I move from behind the counter as he leads me towards the drum section. “I’m looking for drumsticks, but I can’t seem to find them…” he tells me, fidgeting with his jacket. I stare at him for a moment and blink a couple of times. “Oh, you won’t find them here, sweetie. They’re over there!” I point to another side of the store. “I’ll show you,” I beckon him with my finger and, with him in tow, make my way over to where we keep our drumsticks and other accessories for the music instruments. “Here they are!” I point to the racks filled with different kind of drumsticks. The boy scans the area and then picks out a pair he likes best. “Thank you,” he says with the sweetest smile. “So, you’re a drummer,” I state more than ask as we both make our way back to the cash register. “Yep, I’m in a band with my two best friends. Sunset Curve, we’ve been playing bars in Los Angeles for a while now, but don’t seem to be too lucky to find some sort of manager that could help us out, you know?” I make a mental note to check out Sunset Curve, and simply nod my head while putting his purchase into the register. “19 bucks please,” I tell him with a smile. “I hope luck is on your side soon…” I trail off, realizing I don’t know his name. “Owen,” he says as if reading my mind. He hands me the nineteen bucks in cash. “Emily,” I introduce myself, “Hey, if you want, our Music Store holds open mic nights on Saturdays, once a  month or something, if you ever want to bring your band down here? Music execs scout out here sometimes too.” Owen’s smile widens, making my heart swell with happiness. “Thanks, I’ll remember that.” He taps the counter once, then says, “And thanks for helping me find these.” He holds the drumsticks up so I can see. “You’re very welcome. I’ll see you around, Owen.” “Yeah, see you around, Emily.” He’s definitely gay. But the sweetest guy that’s ever walked into the Music Store in forever. He was so nervous and fidgety; it was kind of endearing. What a kind soul. I hope he gets what he’s wishing for.

It finally starts to slow down in The Music store around half past six, just before closing time. So, I begin to sort out the sheet music that’s been scattered around by musicians. I’d almost even forgotten about Cute Douchebag until the bell over the door rings and he’s walked in. I look up with a smile at first, thinking it’ll be the last paying customer of the day, wanting to greet them. But when I see him with his cute-ass beanie and his adorable brown eyes and his sweet smile, the smile falters.

“Make it quick, I’m about to close up.” I turn around to head to where the sheets are supposed to go. It’s silent for a moment until I hear him cough behind me.

“Can you ring these up for me, please?” he asks, handing me a pack of guitar picks. A little confused about his sudden change of behavior, I nod my head slowly and put them into the cash register.

“11 dollars 96, please.” Our eyes meet for a second when he gives me the money, and a jolt rushes through my entire body. I’ve never seen eyes so vivid and full of color. Everyone always says brown eyes are boring. But his. His aren’t. His are near gold.

Focus, Emily.

“Hey, would you mind if I played here for a while? My parents are kind of being jerks and I kind of have to escape, if you know what I mean…” he trails off near the end, our eye contact breaking as he casts his gaze to the floor.

“Uhm, yeah, sure. Just stay out of my way as I clean up.” He shoots me a thankful smile before scooting over to the guitars and picking out his favorite to play on. I need a moment to regain my composure before I can actually begin cleaning up.

And that’s how the Cute Douchebag and I spent our evening together. With his sweet melody flowing throughout the store as I clean up and count the money in the register.

“You done yet?” I ask him once I’ve grabbed my backpack and the keys to lock up. The boy looks up at me again with those golden eyes of his, making my knees feel weak. Why does he have this effect on me? This doesn’t make any sense. He should repulse me by the way he acted the other day, not make me feel weak in the knees. Nothing makes sense anymore.

“Uhm, sure yeah.” He gets up and puts the guitar back in its place before walking over to the door with me. “My name’s Charlie, by the way,” he tells me when he turns once he’s outside on the street.

“I don’t care,” I lie.

“I’m pretty sure you do, Emily.” Him knowing my name catches me off guard for a moment and not even just because it’s creepy that he knows it, but because it weirdly sounds good rolling off his lips.

“What makes you so sure of that, Charles?” I notice his full name – if that’s his full name – catches him off guard too. “That’s what I thought. Now, please, leave, so I can have a pleasant rest of the night.” He raises his eyebrow, seeing right through me. I know it. He knows it. But he still turns and leaves with that obnoxious beautiful smirk of his.

I hate that he makes me feel this way.

Taglist: @parkeret​

Lemme know if you want to be on my taglist for this story/any of my other works!

[thekillingjoke-haha]

What You Want

Marvel & Supernatral Bing, Spnquotebingo

Squares: Love Triangle and quote

Stucky(established)x reader

Warnings?: Slight reckless endangerment,poly hate(fuck you Karen),mutual love,ect.

Note: f/d=Favorite drink

Steve and Bucky have been a item since kindergarten and nothing has changed. Sure their older and they no longer needed yo hide it,but the love hasn’t faded a bit. The only time they questioned their relationship was when a shield against walked into the base and saved them all on her own. Y/n is a last call agent and that means when shit really hits the fan and not even the best can handle it she swoops in to finish the job. Seeing agent L/n is a rarity and they’ll never admit it,but they’ve been taking riskier missions to see her. “Mr.Rogers and Mr. Barnes you’re needed in the meeting room. Immediately.” The Irish voice brought them out of their slumber. Steve was the first to get dressed and in the briefing room and froze up getting pushed forward by Bucky.

There she stood next to Fury in all of her glory. The blonde’s throat went dry as she made eye contact with him as he looked down at her lips and saw they were moving,but the captain’s mind was to preoccupied with how her uniform was instead replaced with causal clothes that fit oh so well. It was Nick’s voice that snapped him out of it. “Roger…Barnes take a seat.” He said nodding towards the table. Both of them sat next to each other in the closest chairs.

“We need to speak to you about resent missions. It’s clear to me that not only has success levels dropped,but that your team is unable to work flawlessly.” The dark skinned man said. Steve was about to defend himself and the others,but was cut of by Y/n as she stepped forward to speak. “That’s why I Captain Roger’s is joining the team as your superior. ” Her voice caused the duo to freeze. Bucky was the first to get up. “Welcome to the team,doll.” He said kissing her hand with a smirk. This was the start of something great.

TWO Months later~

It’s been two months since Y/n joined the team and to say it was crazy was a understatement on its own. Her mind was often clouded by thoughts of the two super soldiers,but doubt and denial soon chase them off. The 40’s men are together and are open about their relationship she didn’t stand a chance. Y/n was so confused with her friendship with them both. Bucky was a flirt and always would throw a pickup line followed by a sweet pet name. Steve was the complete opposite he was shy blushing whenever they were in a room together,but he showed that school boy crush vibe by the drawing her and rambling when he’s caught.

Y/n couldn’t be falling for both of them she’s work so hard to get where she was today and that alone got her more hate then love. So admitting her love to them was definitely not an option. What if they regretted her? Their work and personal relationships will be destroyed. What if the media found out? Reporters almost disbanded the Avengers on multiple occasions and almost had the two soldiers benched with the anti-lgbtq+ community which was a hefty amount.

She hated to do it,but she tapped into her training and shut of her emotions and boy did they notice that. Bucky walked up to her as she was hitting the punching bag. “Woah,doll. Punch that bag any harder I would think you’re trying to hit on me.” He said with a smirk within seconds it went away when he didn’t hear a snarky come back or even a giggle. The brunette looked closer and saw she wasn’t wearing ear buds of any kind. ‘Is she just ignoring me?’ He thought to himself. It stared that way for a week before he went to talk to Steve.

Steve wasn’t having much luck either. Whenever he tried to talk her he was shot down and every picture her drew for Y/n ended up back in his room within hours of dropping it off. She was cutting them out of her life faster then they could react. Now they only saw her in mission briefing not even the missions themselves anymore. The other members didn’t notice a change in her behavior towards them,but they did see the emotional shut down towards the 40’s men. “What did you two do?” The flaming redhead asked them alone.

“We didn’t do anything! She just started to ignore us and acts as if she doesn’t even know us.” Bucky defended himself and his husband just as lost as everyone else. “Can you talk to her Nat? You guys are best friends she’ll open up to you.” Steve suggested causing the women to sigh and nod. “Whatever we talk about it will stay between us. She’ll tell you when she feels like it.” She stated and held up her hand when they tried to deny. Natasha turned around and walked off to the agents floor to talk.

The ex assassin knocked on the door not even waiting for a response before going in. There sat Y/n drying off her hair with a towel. “Oh hey,Nat. Did you need something?” She asked the women looking at her through the mirror. “Just some questions.” She said with a serious undertone causing the h/c women to turn around. “About?” L/n was no dummy she knew a interrogation when she saw one. “Buck and Steve.” Y/n tried her best not to sigh as she nodded. “What about them?” She played dumb avoiding the question as much as possible. “About how one minute your all heart eyes for them then it like you don’t know them!” Natasha snapped causing her friend to run her face. Her feels for them were so obvious Nat saw it a mile away.

“That’s the problem Nat. I shouldn’t be giving both parties of the happily married couple heart eyes! It’s not right their my best friends I shouldn’t feel this way.” Her throat felt dry with her confession. “And who told you that load of crap?” The Russian rolled off her tongue with a venomous hissed. “At the party two weeks ago. This group of women I guess saw the way Bucky flirted with me and how Steve blushed when I complained him. When I went to the bar they came up to me asking all these questions and saying all these horrible things about them…”

This party started of not so crazy,but leave it to Tony Stark to get the music bumping to max level and people to get drunk of their asses to match that energy. I was wearing a dress,but I wasn’t in just casual clothes either. Bucky stood to my left his voice was coming out clear enough for me to hear. “If the music didn’t beat me to it I would have knocked you off your feet!” He flirted causing me to covet my mouth so I didn’t spit the [f/d] on the floor. “Buck stop your gonna make me choke.” I coughed a bit heat immediately rushed to my cheeks at the wiggle of his eyebrows. “Get you mind out of the gutter,James!” I said as I smoked his shacking shoulders.

Steve bushed up against my side as he slid back into his place to my right. “Sorry n/n that I had to leave you to soon. Sam wanted a rematch at pool.” He said with a sheepish smile. “Did you beat his ass again?” I asked with a grin. He rubbed the back of his neck looking down. “Well…he’s not the one fifty dollars richer.” This caused me to laugh and give him a peck on the cheek a light lipstick mark left in its place followed by red blush. “I’ll never doubt you again Mr.America.” The smile on my face not faltering as a tap on on my shoulder made me turn around. “Wheres my cheek kiss,doll?” Bucky faked a pout. “None for you,hun, just for Stevie.” With that the pout intensified with a small giggle I bring my drink to my lips only to be met by nothing. “I’m out you boy’s want anything?” They both shook their heads their glasses still decently filled with asgardian ale.

The bar was open not many people their since most of them were trying to get in Tony’s good graces or his pants one of the two. Leaning on the bar next to a small group of middle aged women no older then forty conversed loudly next to me. “God did you see the arms on Thor?! If I wasn’t a married woman.” The youngest in the little click said in a lustful daze. “Those super soldiers though are something else.” I wasn’t able to tell who said that,but all of their eyes turned to the duo. “You know their married to each other right?” I’m not a nosy person,but dammit I had listen in. “I think it’s just a front. Why would the symbol for America a fag?! Their just probably covering up the fake that their sharing that slut that’s been seen on the team. What was get name?” The clear leader said and it pissed me the fuck off.

Harshly tapping on her shoulder she turned around and her eyes widened to match the size of dinner plates. “Hi,the names Y/n L/n or as you said ‘slut’ also known as…” I said with a smile that made the women shiver,but she cut me off. “T-that’s not w–what I meant!!!” She shuddered,but I held up my hand. “I wasn’t finished introducing myself. As I was say known as the most deadly assassin with the largest kill count in the world. So unless you want to live your pathetic life to it’s natural end I suggest you and your posy take a hike.” With a slight lift of my blouse I reveal a handgun along with so knifes. “Off you go.”

Without hesitation they all ran of not even caring that some of them were tripping up on their cheap heels. “What was that about?” Looking at the redhead behind the bar I give a convincing smile. “They had to leave. Lives they wanted to live.” With that I left without a drink and to my floor. It didn’t bother me in the moment,but her words sunk in. Did the public really see me like that? It was already hard when the great Captain America came out as bisexual to the world that had a closed mind. The thoughts made me think if I remove myself the picture all together and slow I did. First we didn’t hang out as much,then I started making myself more busy with solo missions, then last week it was just getting to hard so I tapped into emotional disconnection training.

“And it was working I think it’s best they’re a item and I’m that third wheel. It’s just better for me to leave them be.” Y/n finished speaking with her hands rubbing the tears that ran down her cheek. Somehow they were on the bed now and Nat was rubbing her back in soft circles. “Oh, n/n. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.” She said in all honesty. Natasha saw the way the boys were acting the first time they say her best friend after they were striped of their weapons and restrained in a hydra base they say her in a different light then she saw herself.

The redhead assassin stood up and kneeled in front of her. “Talk to them. The three of you are adults sure their a little stuck in the 40’s,but their moving along with the times. You think Steve knew what bisexuality was he was conflicted so just explain to them about how you feel.” Nat said holding her friends face in her hands rubbing her cheeks with her thumbs. “You got this. Don’t let those judgmental assholes,but you down.” With that she stood up and left. It was time for action and possible rejection…how fun!

The super soldiers stayed on their shared floor for hours stressed. What the hell did they do to drive her away?! Were they coming on to strong?Not strong enough and their stuck in the friend zone. Oh God. Steve sat on the couch while Bucky paced in front of him they were about to break the silence that fell before them,but was immediately cut off by the ding of the elevator. Y/n walked out once the metal doors opened and was greeted by the sight of them before her. She cleaned herself up after her talk with Nat not wanting her appearance to give away anything was wrong. “Hello,boys. I normally would want to be woken up from a nightmare,but it seems I walked in on a daydream.” She said with a smile as she sauntered over trying to seem more confident then she felt.

Y/n didn’t even get a response as she was pulled into a giant hug from them. “Doll we’ve missed you so much!” Buck was the first to pull away. “Hey!!! Cheesy pickup lines are my thing.” He said with a smirk. “I couldn’t let you have all the fun,handsome.” Everything felt so much better talking to them the mindless flirting it was just so right. “W-what happened?” Steve was the one to ask the question I was honestly dreading. “That party just someone said something that got me thinking. How can a girl like me ever get not one,but two guys like you to love me?” Y/n looked down at the floor. “I mean…first I appear out of nowhere, take Steve’s role as captain,and get cozy with two super soldiers the married couple. No wander the public seems me in such a light.” A hand gasped her cheek lifting her face up to look into beautiful blue eyes.

Steve looked into her gorgeous e/c eyes with hope. “You love us, n/n?” He asked wanting to make sure he heard right. She gave a wet chuckling as rears slipped past her eyes. “I just gave you reasons to hate me and that’s all you get out of it?!” Y/n sniffles as she brings hers to wipe her eyes. “Cause that’s all that mattered. Why should you give a shit what they think when we can tell you now that we both feel the same way about you.?” This caused the agent to freeze up. “Y-you both l-love me?!?” She didn’t know if it was a question to them or herself. “Of course we do,doll. You’re strong enough to give us a run for our money,more intelligent then the two brainiacs in the lab,so much sass it renders Stark speechless, everything about you is perfect to us. You are literally everything we ever wanted since we were kids.”

Y/n was now chocked up by happy tears as she looked into the two sets of blue eyes that held nothing,but love. “What do you want?” A smile graced her lips as she brought both of them into a kiss each equal as passion. “All I want is to be yours. Both of yours is what I want.”

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Another in the bag lets go!!! 2 more coming out this month hopefully.

Tagged : @thisismysecrethappyplace and @spnquotebingo

Quote: “Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.”

-10 Things I Hate about You

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Bottom!Calum (2) Masterlist

part one

Bass and Drums (ao3) - boomercal calum/ashton, michael/crystal, sierra/luke E, 70k

Summary: Calum and Ashton just went public with their relationship, but they might have left a few things out, like how long they've been together and how it happened. But that's beside the point; Calum's trying to navigate social media, being allowed to hold his boyfriend's hand and the blurry lines between friendship and something more.

Certain That I'm Yours (ao3) - K_CALM_N michael/calum E, 4k

Summary: Michael feels guilty after taking Calum’s virginity and doesn’t want to fuck him in case he hurts him again. Calum doesn’t agree with this so he figures out a way to get Michael to fuck him.

Drunk fuck | Cashton (ao3) - orphan_account calum/ashton T, 2k

Summary: When Ashton and Calum fucked with each other at some party.

home is where the heart is (ao3) - vlossoms calum/ashton E, 5k

Summary: Ashton sighs and closes his eyes, trying to quickly fall asleep only to hear the sound of the door opening and someone shuffling quietly in. He tries to ignore the other person, he really does, but when he hears them coming closer, Ashton can’t help but groan quietly. He lifts his head and, whoa, the boy is gorgeous. Ashton has known he was gay for years, his mom is okay with it and so it he, and he can't help wishing this boy was his soulmate.

See, the thing is, the boy is stunning. Beautiful tan skin, a few shades darker than Ashton's, with soft-looking fluffy brown hair, and those eyes. Those eyes look like they hold the secrets to the universe, with a beautiful chocolate brown color that never stop sparkling.

I Don't Need It To Be Easy, I Need It To Be Worth It (ao3) - orphan_account michael/luke, luke/ashton M, 18k

Summary: *The blond one chuckles without humour, “Alright, you wanna play dumb, fine. But don’t go anywhere near my mum again, got it?”

Now, Calum is starting to get angry too, “Who the fuck do you think you are? I'll hang out with who I want, I’m not gonna let a wanna be Billie Joe Armstrong dictate my life.”

Michael is smirking now, “Cute insult,” he says mockingly. “I wonder how clever you have to be to come up with this, what a sass genius.”

“Fuck you.”

“You’re just proving my point,” says the blond one.*

After making the resolution of becoming more athletic, Calum decides to take up yoga class. There, he meets Karen, a rich white L.A yoga mum, who's also a very happy and sweet lady who keeps invating him to the most exclusively rich people events.

One day, he meets her son: Michael. This guy couldn't be more different from his mum; he wears dark clothes, dark make-up, and he's rude.

Another issue: Michael seems to hate Calum, and wants him to stay away from Karen, and Calum isn't sure why...

Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow! (ao3) - boomercal calum/ashton M, 2k

Summary: It’s Calum and Ashton’s first Christmas (Eve) together and it’s time for Ashton to leave, he has to be at his parents early the next morning. But the snow is setting in and Calum’s not quite ready to part with him just yet.

Let's Try it My Way (ao3) - boomercal calum/ashton N/R, 2k

Summary: On tour, they're always in a hurry but Calum wants Ashton to take his time, and if he won't? Calum will make him

Michael Loves His baby Boy (ao3) - hayleyswildflower michael/calum E, 1k

Summary: Michael obviously caught on and pulled Calum’s hips up and took his fingers out “ughhh Mikeyy that was filling me” Calum whined which earned him another slap “quit being a whiny slut Calum or I won’t hesitate to bend you over my lap, spank you raw and send you to bed. Got it?” Calum stayed quiet and Michael took that as a yes “good boy, now where were we?”

Never Been So Defenceless (ao3) - Jay_isnotokay calum/ashton, michael/calum/ashton M, 2k

Summary: “Dude, you two might as well just fuck in front of me since you clearly can’t keep it in your pants.”

“We could never-“ Calum started before Ashton interjected.

“Is that something you would want?”

“Is that…what?”

Princess (ao3) - gajyeowaminhope ot4 M, 1k

Summary: Calum is just really horny.

say you want me and dont be nice (send those shivers running down my spine) (ao3) - orphan_account michael/calum N/R, 5k

Summary: :+: Calum and Michael are in gangs, and when Calum gets slightly turned on by the gun in Michael's hands, things get dirty :+:

Silence (ao3) - I_ReadTooMany_Fanfics OT4 M, 30k

Summary: He was silent. He didn’t like talking.

Being abused could do that to a person. And having a lisp and a stutter didn’t help. He hadn’t said a word in so long, but no one cared. Everything was better in a world where he didn’t talk.

He probably could’ve lived like this until the day he finally decided to kill himself. Until he meets three people who decide to change that…

Sugar Babies (ao3) - boomercal calum/ashton, luke/ashton, luke/calum E, 1k

Summary: Plot: Ashton's a music label executive who funds the lavish lifestyle of his sugar babies Luke and Calum. They want to thank him for the stuff he just bought them, but Ashton's really busy; they'll just have to make do without him. 

Work Up A Sweat (ao3) - nothingliketherain (39_killer_queen) calum/ashton E, 3k

Summary: Calum wakes up alone, boyfriend missing from his bed. He finds Ashton in the living room, working out and can't help but sit down and watch, getting a little worked up himself. Calum most definitely doesn't have a kink for his boyfriend excercising, he just likes watching Ashton. A lot.

you got me by my neck (ao3) - orphan_account luke/calum M, 29k

Summary: Hearing the blonde say, point blank, they’re not in a relationship forces Calum to confront the emotions that he’s been wanting to hide. That he wants to be in a relationship, because Luke is the person he wants to be together forever with, because Luke is the reason he gets out of bed in the morning, because Luke is the inspiration for all of Calum’s dumbass songs that people like for some reason. It’s always been Luke, and Calum couldn’t have picked a worse time and place to realize this.

In the middle of a random Friday afternoon at some place called Tootsie’s Burger Joint.

Or the one where the band is back in Sydney trying to write more music for their new album, and being back home ignites feelings Calum thought never would have existed.