#kansas judge

[roguekhajiit]

Link to full article.

"Broomes, an appointee of President Donald Trump, on Wednesday dismissed two machine gun possession counts against Tamori Morgan, who was indicted last year. Morgan was accused of possessing a model AM-15 .300-caliber machine gun and a machine gun conversion device known as a “Glock switch” that can make a semi-automatic weapon fire like a machine gun."

“The court finds that the Second Amendment applies to the weapons charged because they are ‘bearable arms’ within the original meaning of the amendment,” Broomes wrote. He added that the government “has the burden to show that the regulation is consistent with this nation’s historical firearm regulation tradition.”

I'm sorry, but who the fuck needs a machine gun to go hunting?!

These magats aren't planning to kill some deer with machine guns.

Mark my words. They are fully prepared to overthrow our government in a violent, bloody coup when their cult leader loses yet another election.

The Supreme Court and every Trump appointed official are laying the groundwork for that takeover.

[vo11pe]

[paulshishkoffjr]

It is a final in the Bronx. Austin Wells went 2-for-5, HR, 4 RBI. As @Yankees defeated @Royals, 10-4. #MLB #KCvsNYY #WittvsJudge

[dayplays]

Still cannot get over how the artists of this new series were mandated to make Superman as cute & hot as possible.

[a-soul-by-name]

As I sit here watching the end of a football game that I don't actually care about (Kansas vs Atlanta), I cannot help but wonder how many Swifties started watching football because of Taylor Swift dating Travis Kelce, and how many of them discovered that they actually genuinely enjoy football

This curiosity arose because I was talking to somebody at work who said she doesn't watch football and probably never will have an interest in it, and I, as a lifelong Cheesehead, cannot fathom not enjoying football. So...

Other questions that occurred: do you like the Chiefs, or a different team? If they break up or Kelce retires from football, will you keep watching?

[feyburner]

I ??? woke up at 3am with this scene fully written in my mind palace and quickly jotted it down in the Notes app

*

Clark’s shaking his head before he realizes he’s doing it, and feels a twinge of embarrassment at his own bad manners when Bruce stops mid-word to look at him, brows raised.

“No?” he says.

“No,” Clark says, again without thinking, and again with the reflexive urge to apologize. Somewhere his mother is tutting without knowing why. But he doesn’t apologize, because he’s already saying, “No, it can’t—it can’t be that.”

“Okay,” Bruce says slowly. “Can you elaborate?”

He is, honestly, having trouble taking his eyes off the screen. The mockup design of his new suit is there, dark and sleek, ridged like tactical gear. The blue is like the last shade of evening before you can’t call it evening anymore, the color of nine PM in Kansas in July, so exact there’s a strong chance Bruce color-picked it from a photo. The yellow accents are the cool fluorescent yellow-green of lightning bugs. The red is dark as arterial blood. Every aspect of the suit has been updated—the colors deeper, the angles sharper, the S extending to the corners of its frame—but Bruce has done it without changing the fundamentals. It’s immediately recognizable as the Superman suit, just… well, a little cooler, maybe. A little more of the times. Even the tailoring is modernized. The neckline. The shape of the boots. Where the belt hits at the waist. Clark can tell just by looking that Bruce has not only spent a lot of time on this in general, he’s spent a lot of time designing it specifically with Clark in mind, Clark’s needs and preferences and the small discomforts of his current suit, things he might have mentioned offhand after a mission but never with the assumption that Bruce was listening or filing it away. No doubt the next slides of this presentation will detail all the hidden features of the new suit, and they’ll all be incredibly thoughtful if not slightly overkill, and Bruce will pretend his sole motive here was practicality and risk reduction and respond to any thanks with a curt nod.

And Clark wants to thank him. He will. It’s just.

“It can’t be… cool,” he says, inane. Bruce is watching him with that steady look that used to feel clinical, piercing, and now mostly reads as attentive. “It can’t be—like yours. Tactical, military-grade.”

“Lightyears beyond, actually.”

“It has to—Ma said once, a kid should be able to draw it with crayons. You know? I can’t look like a weapon. I have to—I want to look like a friend.”

He can feel himself flushing. It’s rare that he speaks like this, and rarer still that he does so while being stared at intently. Bruce may think of himself as the darkness, but his gaze is a spotlight: unwavering and revealing and more a little sweat-inducing, for one reason or another.

“Sometimes, when I show up, people laugh,” Clark says. “If it’s somewhere out of the way, where they haven’t seen me before. I show up and I look like a festival performer. It’ll be the worst day of their lives, and they’ve got no reason to trust my face, but when they see what I’m wearing—it goes from ‘Who are you?’ to ‘Who is this guy?’ And that’s a good thing.”

“Hard to be afraid of a man dressed in primary colors,” Bruce says, almost to himself.

“Exactly.”

“I see. Thank you,” he says, “for explaining.”

Clark tries not to show how surprised he is to hear that. Judging by the crook of Bruce’s mouth, his success is negligible. “Of course. Sorry I didn’t—I mean, thank you, obviously, for going to such trouble. I didn’t mean to come in here and—I really do appreciate it, I can tell you put a lot of work in—”

Bruce’s eyes cut away. “No. No need. I didn’t ask, before I…. It was only a first draft. If you’re amenable, I’ll incorporate your feedback into the second one.”

“Oh! Yeah. Yes, of course, but you really don’t have to—”

“If you have any further notes, I would like to hear them.”

There’s something determined in the lines of his face. Clark has the sense that this moment is important, that it’s a turning point, even if he’s not sure why. It feels like striking out into a sea of ice, a blank white expanse under which something precious and vital is hidden, has been hidden all along, just waiting for him to find it. To want to.

“Sure,” he says. He looks back at the suit and swallows, and knows Bruce will see the flicker of his throat and take some meaning from it, and wishes he knew what the meaning was. Or maybe Bruce won’t notice or read into it at all. Maybe Clark needs to calm down, in fact. “Um. I don’t want to assume, but does it… do things?”

“It does things,” Bruce confirms, after the barest pause. “Let me show you the next slide.”

[reasonsforhope]

do you have any good queer news? I'm a queer person and hearing all the shit thats happening across the world is making me bummed out

I do! All of this is from LGBTQ Nation's excellent good news tag

^Article date: July 6, 2023

"Only two months after its formation, the “No SB 180” initiative had succeeded at making the city of Lawrence, Kansas a sanctuary city for LGBTQ+ people. Last week, in a unanimous vote, Lawrence became the first city in the state to declare itself as such.

Ordinance 9999 bans the city and all of its employees from collecting or releasing information on a person’s “biological sex, either male or female, at birth” and from helping with any investigation, detention, arrest, or surveillance “conducted by a jurisdiction with the authority to enforce Senate Bill 180, as enacted.”"

^Article date: July 28, 2023

"A federal judge has told a group of anti-trans parents to mind their own business after the group filed a lawsuit challenging an Ohio school district’s bathroom policy.

The attempts to meddle do not “pass legal muster,” he wrote in his ruling, saying that the group has no reason to sue.

“Not every contentious debate concerning matters of public importance presents a cognizable federal lawsuit,” Judge Michael Newman wrote, denying their petition to stop the Bethel Local School District’s policy that allows a single transgender middle school student to use the restroom that aligns with her gender identity."

^Article date: August 8, 2023

"The U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID), the independent federal agency responsible for administering civilian foreign aid and development assistance, has released its first-ever “LGBTQI+-inclusive” policy since its founding in 1961.

The four-point policy is meant to serve as a blueprint for USAID staff and partners around the world to champion LGBTQ+ and intersex development and the human rights of all queer people through the agency’s work, said Jay Gilliam, USAID’s senior LGBTQI+ coordinator, in a video explaining the policy...

In simpler terms, the U.S. will try to improve diplomatic relationships with other countries by investing in locally-led LGBTQ+-inclusive programs that are shown to positively impact communities in need."

^Article date: August 3, 2023

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit has ruled in favor of three transgender students who were forbidden by their schools from using bathrooms matching their gender identities. The circuit court upheld a lower court’s preliminary injunction that said the schools have to let trans students use facilities associated with their genders...

The case involves three trans boys in Martinsville, Indiana and Terre Haute, Indiana, who need access to the boys’ room at their middle and high schools...

The court took into account the fact that Title IX bans discrimination on the basis of sex in schools that receive federal money, which is most of them. Citing the 2020 Supreme Court decision in Bostock v. Clayton Co. that found that job discrimination against LGBTQ+ people necessarily takes sex into account and is therefore prohibited under Title VII, the appeals court ruled that the trans boys are likely to succeed in their case and that preventing them from using the correct bathroom while the case works its way through the court system could cause irreparable harm.

^Article date: August 2, 2023

^Article date: June 21, 2023

"A federal judge has ruled on the side of trans rights after a conservative group tried to overturn an Ohio school district’s anti-bullying policy.

The national conservative group Parents Defending Education (PDE) tried to get a preliminary injunction passed on the Olentangy Local School District’s prohibition on misgendering trans students. The policy includes students, teachers, and parents and it applies to out-of-school hours and social media as well."

^Article date: August 2, 2023

There's literally a bunch more I wanted to include, by the way! Tumblr just stopped being able to load them. Going back to add a few more in the reblogs now.

I know it feels like everything is against us right now. But I promise you: that is not true. The bigots and bastards may usually be the ones moving faster (in large part because they suck and don't care about democracy or due process at all),

But in the end, we are going to win. I promise.

[enchantedlov3r]

Coffee crush An Ellie Williams fic College Barista au CHAPTER TWO!

Summary: Young love, always the cutest thing, especially when it's on your very hot barista at your local coffee shop on campus.

Pairings: Barista!Ellie Williams x puppy!reader

Word Count: 4.5k (WOAH! never done that before<33)

Warnings: fluff, first time meeting, flustered reader, bold ellie, lots of sexual tension, shameless flirting, ellie being really hot, brief mentions of alcohol, slight debating/arguing but playful, eventual smut in later chapters, a brief kiss, lmk if I missed anything loves💓

A/N: funny story, there was this fic I read about streamer ellie by @r3starttt and she linked her pinterest below so I just wanted to give creds to her for allowing me to use these pics from her saved pinterest. Also some of it will be via text message style so ellie will be bold and reader will not. lowercase intended..

You were honestly just a girl, who happened to like other girls, no big deal. but when your parents denied it, denied you, you moved out.

you weren’t going to deal with unsupportive family members judging you at every family function.

and you sure as hell weren’t going to stand with your parents treating you completely different from everyone else.

so you moved away from that toxic life but not just because of your parents but for college as well.

you wanted to move to this small town and get to know people new and study at your dream college.

once you finally found out you got in, you made your motives known to the family that you were leaving and never coming back.

you made it to your dorm and met this awesome girl named Kansas. You guys really hit it off your first semester and ever since, you guys have been the best of friends.

constantly hanging out and going to bookstores and party’s and going on vacations and so much more.

So, now to the present day, you’re currently in your dorm studying for finals.

Kansas walks in and greets you, you greet her back and she plops on the bed with a sigh.

“what’s wrong Kansas? I know that sigh. What’s up?” you ask her while keeping your focus on your notes

“I wanna go somewhere, to meet some hot people. get screwed and fucked up” Kansas replies. You bark out a laugh while shaking your head

“I’m getting kinda tired kans, we can go to a coffee shop? Keep me awake cause I need to study for these finals. Wanna go with me?” You ask her

she shakes her head letting out a hum of disapproval, “mm-mm I’m good, I’ll probably just sleep it out. Night.” She says lying down.

“night kans.” you say closing your notebook and grabbing your red converse. They were a little beat up but they were your favorites.

you walked off campus, greeting people as they passed, some people you know, some you’ve met once, and even the strangers that were polite.

you saw the bistro and smiled walking in. There was someone in front of you, a tall blonde-haired boy.

you patiently waited while he ordered his beverage, mindlessly scrolling on your phone.

you heard someone yell next and you lifted your head walking forward. The lady was turned around so you waited until her focus was on you

once she turned around your eyes widened and you stared in awe.

she was the hottest girl you’ve ever seen. Pretty auburn hair framing her face in a cute half up half down style.

freckles littered her perfect face, beautiful green eyes staring back at you.

her lips pretty and pink, bottomed lip tucked between her teeth as she smiles at you checking you out.

“What can I get for you pretty girl?” The lady in front of you asks.

it feels as if everything has stopped and you are the only ones able to move, talk and it was amazing.

“uh-uhm sorry, hi my names y/n and w-what’s yours? I’m pretty sure it’s a sexy- I mean spectacular name.” You stutter before face planting at how embarrassing you’re being.

“Ha, uh Ellie, my names Ellie. You’re funny but, what would you like to drink? Anything that makes you tick?” She says with a smile on her face as she tilts her head scratching her neck.

'you' the only word coming to your mind.

it’s only then you notice how long and slender her fingers are and the wonderful tattoo that litters her forearm.

“I would like a cappuccino please and nice tattoo, it’s beautiful, just like you. Uhm sorry I mean it’s uhm- a-a beautiful…" you sigh. "I’m gonna stop talking now.” You stutter out nervously.

“it’s fine sweetheart, thanks for the compliments.” Ellie responds with a wink. “ your cappuccino will be ready shortly. Your total is $5.95.” Ellie says smiling.

you pull out your card and pay. You look around noticing the beauty on the inside of the bistro and smile.

Ellie watches you with intent because she would be lying if she didn’t think you were extremely hot.

she wanted so badly to talk to you for longer but she had customers and a job to do. So she came up with the idea when you weren’t looking to write her number on your receipt.

“here you go. Maybe we’ll meet again sometime.” She said with a smile handing you your receipt.

“yea, maybe we will.” You say knowing damn well your coming back to this bistro everyday until you graduate college.

You walk off to go to the waiting area to wait for your name to be called for your drink. Your playing with the receipt when you catch something in the corner of your eye.

you look over and see Ellie mouthing something and making hand gestures.

you see her pointing to your hand so you look down and see numbers written down on the back of the receipt.

you look at her and smile and she smiles back before tending to the next customer that walked in.

you notice it’s a phone number, her phone number. You smile and heat rushes to your face. She also left a little note.

“text me, your cute btw, anyone ever tell you that? It was nice meeting you;)”

you smile at the note and fold the receipt and put it in your back pocket to keep for later.

you hear your name get called and grab your drink. You smile and wink at Ellie as you leave and walk out the door.

The moment you get out you jump up and down and giggle before running back to your dorm to study.

you pull out the receipt and smile at the note again. you type the number into your phone and you hesitate to text her. contemplating for an hour before finally texting her.

you: heyy:) it's me! you off work yet? (10:47pm)

ellie🤭: heyy pretty, yea I get off in 5 minutes so I'm clocking out. (10:50pm)

you: ohh ok, so how was it, your shift that is? (10:50pm)

ellie🤭: it was stressful but it got better about an hour ago when this really hot girl walked in and I gave her my number on a receipt. (10:51pm)

you: stoppp your making me nervous, thanks for the compliment btw:) (10:53pm)

ellie: ofc sweetheart, now wanna play a game? (10:53pm)

you: sure what do you have in mind els, can I call u els? (10:54pm)

ellie🤭: you can call me whatever you want love. (10:54pm)

ellie🤭: maybe 21 questions? only if your up for it? (10:55pm)

you: yea sure so do i go first or you? (10:56pm)

ellie🤭: you go ahead. (10:57pm)

you: ok, how old are you? (10:59pm)

ellie🤭: 19. same question for you. (11:00pm)

you: im 18. (11:00pm)

ellie🤭: ok, nice. (11:01pm)

you: my turn again right? ok uhm, what's your fav color? (11:03pm)

ellie🤭: I would have to say green, like my eyes.

ellie🤭: what about you? (11:04pm)

you: so far this is what 4 questions, lol ok! (11:04pm)

you: I would say my fav color is {your fav color inserted} (11:05pm)

ellie🤭: dope! that's a nice one. (11:06pm)

you: thanks! ok, i'm going to ask, what's your fav movie or show? (11:08pm)

ellie🤭: i mean i don't think I have one, there's so many to choose from yk? (11:08pm)

you: yea no I totally understand! (11:09pm)

ellie🤭: ok, my turn. how about we quit this game huh? kinda wanna hear your voice. wanna call? (11:09pm)

your eyes widened at that. ellie, wanted to call y-you. this was insane you were so lost in thought that the buzz of you phone broke you out of your trance.

ellie🤭: ? you wanna or nah, it's totally fine if not. (11:10pm)

you: no no, I wanna. you call me, go ahead!

(11:10pm)

ellie🤭: alright!

ellie🤭: btw it 11:11 make a wish! (11:11pm)

you: oh stop it ellie! (i'm so making a wish right now!) (11:11pm)

you hear the ringing and immediately pick up after the first ring. at first it's quiet and then ellie finally speaks up.

"hey." she says in a raspy voice that makes your skin tingle. you smile at the sound of her voice.

"hey ellie." you say, her name rolling of your tongue like honey. fuck she loved the way you sounded. so sweet and sexy. she just wanted you all to herself already.

"say my name again, sounds hot when you say it." ellie demands with a chuckle at your little squeak of surprise.

"w-what ellie?" you ask totally confused on what ellie was asking. you lied, you weren't entirely confused but ellie did make you very flustered and very nervous.

sure you could dominate women and be bold at times but something about ellies demeanor and the way she carried herself it made you want to be submissive.

you were a very bold and playful person, you could tease and be funny too but around ellie, nuh uh, you were silenced by her words that made down there tingle.

was it also way to late to mention that you've never "done it" with a girl before. yea sure you've had a kiss here and there but you've never done it.

you were close but then the girls parents walked in and you were utterly embarrassed. the girl ghosted you the next day.

so now you hope that same fate won't happen with ellie.

"god you were so gorgeous in the shop today, couldn't keep my fucking eyes off you." ellie admits breathlessly.

"your so kind, thank you and trust me, I was a mess talking to you." you say with a chuckle.

"I know other ways I can turn you into a mess." she says with a giggle. you giggle nervously and bite your lip.

"mmm yeah? that's something i'm looking forward to in the future." you say, ellie not even knowing how hard your gushing right now.

you guys have been on the phone for over and hour or two now and you were loving it.

she chuckled on the other end of the line. "so, are you more of a coffee girl or an alcohol girl?" you ask ellie.

theres a sigh on the line before you hear a snort, "I mean I prefer alcohol rather than coffee." ellie says.

"ellie. cmon, you literally work in a coffee shop, where you have to deal with coffee grounds and the smell, everyday." you say playfully rolling your eyes.

"woah! just cuz I work at a coffee shop doesn't mean I like coffee babe, I just needed the job, plus it was close by campus." ellie argues back playfully.

"oh yea sure because ellie loves working in a place where she doesn't even love the products in the store. If you adore alcohol, why not be a bartender?" you rebuttal.

this playful banter made ellie laugh and you laughed too. "because I don't wanna sit here and toss vodka in a cup, I wanna drink it, not serve it to others." ellie says as she turns off her room light.

"I'm working in a coffee shop cuz I wanted the money and because I don't get tempted with alcohol all around me, just caffeine." ellie says causing you to burst out laughing.

"ok, 1, that was hilarious and 2. nice point els." you say biting your lip as you kick your feet around on your bed and giggle.

you were sure as hell lucky that this campus was big enough to have two separate rooms. you didn't wanna wake up kansas.

its silent for a little before you just randomly blurt out, "you wanna meet again sometime? maybe like a date? just to hang out and talk more?" you ask.

it's silent on ellies side of the phone for a bit before you hear shuffling. "hey my roomates back but yea totally! Meet me at the water fountain in front of the campus at 7:30pm tomorrow, we can talk in the bistro if you want?" ellie asks.

"yea yea, that's perfect." you say smiling as you bite your fingernails out of excitement.

"alright great it's a date, see you tomorrow pup." she says before the line disconects.

you put your phone down, grab you pillow and scream into it. your going on a date with the ellie williams, the hottest girl you know and you couldn't wait.

it's the next day. your walking to your class with kansas. you were telling her about ellie, every single detail.

the details from last night and the bistro. "she was just like so unreal kans, she called me babe, and pretty girl and so much more but eeee! I'm meeting her tonight!" you say with excitement.

"good for you girl! glad one of us is getting excitement." kansas says rolling her eyes playfull with a dramatic sigh to which you shove her and laugh.

"what do you even mean by that kans?" you say chuckling. she stops, looks at you and lifts her hand.

she lays her palm flat right side up and sticks up her middle and ring finger and makes a fingering motion with her fingers.

you gasp and push her quickly walking away while kansas laughs and runs to catch up to you.

"your sick kansas!" you exclaim.

"it's the truth, I can tell ellie knows how to please too. especially since you described her fingers as-what was it?- long and slender?" she says before snorting and laughing.

you laugh with her but roll your eyes at her mocking. "yea yea, keep it up and i'll find a new roommate." you say before walking into class with kansas.

*tap tap tap* is the sound your feet make as you stare at the clock, counting the seconds waiting until the clock strikes 5pm.

you were in your last class for the day and you just had two hours to get ready for your date with ellie.

you were super excited and also kinda surprised you didn't like see her at all in the halls.

she did say she goes here but maybe she was in a different section. You watched as the clock stuck exactly 5:00 and you began packing your notebooks and textbooks in your bag.

"Make sure to read through pages 25 to 37, there will be some paragraphs to study for your exams." your teacher exclaims.

you nod and walk out the door meeting with kansas. "hey girl." you say as you rub your face.

"what's wrong?" she asks as she shoves the last bit of books in her bag.

"I just feel so drained right now, Professor Popovich's class was so draining. I just don't wanna be a buzzkill for my date with ellie tonight." you express with a frown on your face.

"well I mean he is like 60 years old, what'd you expect his class to be like? Energizing? Just get to the dorm, shower and clear your mind and I'll pick an outfit for you and then you'll be good to go, ok?" kansas offers with a smile.

"ha, your right there, thanks kans I really would like that I appreciate you so much!" you say smiling wrapping your arm around her shoulder as you walk to your shared dorm room.

As you guys finally make it towards the dorm, you immediate hit the shower, clicking your phones vibe playlist as you sing and dance in the shower.

you hear a ding from your phone indicating a message notification has come in. you finish rinsing off your body and making sure your nice and fresh and then turn off the water to get out.

You wrap your towel around your self and grab your phone. you look at the time it's 7:15.

You look at your notifications and see that it's ellie that texted you, you open messages and read her message.

ellie🤭: I probably will get there a little early so, see you soon! (7:13pm)

you: ok, i'm getting ready now so i'll be leaving soon! (7:16pm)

ellie🤭: 👍🏻

you smile and do your routine, you don't put any makeup on just some mascara and lipgloss.

you step out and put on the clothes that kansas picked out for you.

it was very cold outside so kansas wanted you to prepared for when your meeting her outside but still wanted you to look a little skimpy and sexy.

"hmm sexy but cute, thanks kans." you say smiling and hugging her. "but I think i'm gonna wear sneakers instead babes, heels are. a bit much." you express grabbing your red high top converse and putting them on.

"Bye Kansas! thank you again for the help babes!" you say hugging her one last time before walking towards the door.

"anytime. I'll do anything for you. also i'll be out at a party so if you and ellie need the dorm to you know..." she smirks and makes two peace signs and rub them together.

"Oh piss off kans!" you say shutting the door as you hear her laugh. you quickly make your way to the front of the campus and see the water fountain.

you see someone sitting there, a girl in a greenish flannel with a black shirt on and jeans.

you notice that the sleeves of the flannel are rolled up and you see those familiar slender fingers and that sexy tattoo.

"ellie?" you say with a smirk on your face.

the girl looks up and smiles at you. "Hey beautiful, missed me?" she exclaims opening her arms for a hug.

"I may have missed you." you say with a smirk as you hug her. you wrap your arms around her neck and she wraps her arms around your waist.

"let's go to the bistro shall we?" she says with a smile. you nod and let go of her. you both make the short walk to the bistro and ellie unlocks the door with the key.

"so what do you wanna do?" ellie asks as she hops on the counter staring at you as you walk around.

"you know, yesterday was my first time in here. I've always passed this place but kansas tired her hardest to avoid it. you wanna know why?" you say with a smile on your face as you glance at her.

she nods, "Yea sure, why?" ellie asks.

"cuz some dude named Michael that apparently works here, he cheated on her and then made her look like a total fool, so she never steps foot in here again. she said that if she does, she might just toss boiling hot coffee in his face and down his pants too." you say with a chuckle.

"I never judged her for it because she was right. she had every right too but I didn't want her getting in trouble so I just avoided this place out of love for her." you finish as you make your way next to ellie on the counter.

"kansas sounds badass and I hate to break it to you but Michael actually quit 4 weeks ago." ellie announces as she crosses her arms over her chest drawing your eyes attention.

you look back at her and bite your bottom lip, "are you serious?" you ask. she nods with a slight smirk and scrunch of her nose.

"your telling me I could have met you a long time ago?" you ask with your eyes slightly widened.

"yep, I'm always here." she says rubbing her neck. your eyes drift to the movement, to her tattooed arm.

her forearm muscle flexing at her movement's. "What's a crazy story you have els? anything that makes you tick with embarrassment?" you say with a smile.

"hey, that's my saying!" she exclaims with a laugh but answers your question.

"I do actually. I have a few but those are for another date, if you earn it." she teases leaning closer to your face.

"Test me, I bet i'll win your heart over." you say with a smirk challenging her as you lean closer.

"Ok. well..." she says as she leans away from you to fix her position. " I have this one memory in the back of my mind but uhm. you see this tattoo. so this is not an embarrassing story more of a backstory into my life ok?"

you nod with understanding and she smiles.

"Ok so when I was 14, I uhm was playing around in this abandoned like lab. I didn't know what I was doing cause I was being foolish and having fun. I was with my girlfr- my uhm friend and she dared me to climb this ladder that led to all the tall chemical tubes or containers. So uhm me being the daredevil that I am." she says pointing at herself and smiling.

you laugh at her silliness and bite your lip as you look at her lovingly and intently listening to the story.

"yea total daredevil ladies and gentlemen. don't get your panties and boxers in a bunch because don't you fear, ellie the daredevil is here!" you say welcoming her with jazz hands.

you hear her laugh and you want to record it so badly so you can have on repeat for the rest of your life.

"yea yea, I'm so cool I know. back to my story though. I climbed the ladder. now what I didn't know was that there were pipes above me filled with this chemical liquid. So one of the pipes had a hole in them and the liquid gushed on my arm, luckily I stepped back in time but half my arm got like burned or something. so, when I got outta there, my friend, she wrapped it up so I could hide it from my dad. and then when I turned 17 I got the tattoo to hide it. and that's the backstory behind my tattoo." she says with a tightlipped smile.

"wow, well a beautiful tattoo for a beautiful girl." you say scooting a bit closer to her.

she inches her hand closer to yours as she stares at your side profile. she thought you couldn't get any more beautiful, well right now, in this lighting you just did.

you inch your hand closer to her until you place your pinky on her hand. she looks down at your hands and fully grabs your hand to lift it to intertwine it with hers.

you both make eye contact with each other and smile at each other. "I really wanna kiss you right now." you admit to her.

"Then kiss me princess." she says leaning closer to your lips before looking down at your lips, smile fading as she grabs your face and kisses you.

it's sweet and light at first but slowly turns into a needy and passionate kiss. you both pawing at each other. whimpers and whines coming from your lips.

a sweet breathy whisper of her name rings in her ears that makes her skin tingle with goosebumps.

no one has ever made her feel the way you make her feel, so euphoric and so happy.

she wanted all of you and more, she never wanted to let you go from the moment she made eye contact with you yesterday.

you both break the kiss of your lives, a glistening string of saliva connecting the kiss of love that you two just shared.

"wow that was-" you start. before she kisses you again. "Please stop talking for a second and enjoy it." she says before her lips are right back on yours.

you lean back as ellie leans more into you until your laying on the counter and ellie is kind of on top of you never braking the kiss.

"els wait. wait." you say lightly pushing her off you and getting up. "As badly as I wanna do this, I feel like we should take it just a little bit slowly. maybe 3 dates in? I wanna do this just as badly as you it's just i've never done it before with a girl or in general. I want it to be special, not at your job no offense." you say shyly as you bite your lip.

she's silent for a bit before she speaks up. "I'm sorry, just eager to be your first. I completely understand though. I guess this means until next time?" she says as she hops down and stands between your thighs rubbing them.

"yea sure, I guess i'll go then, let you get back to your dorm." you say with a smile.

"hmm or I could walk you to your dorm so I know where I can find you next time." she says with an eyebrow raised with her bottom lip between her teeth.

"no... it's ok seriously I don't want you to go through all that trouble els." you say waving your hand at her.

"mama, lemme walk you to your dorm. as a mater of fact, I am walking you to your dorm. c'mon let's go." she says as she pecks a kiss at your lips before walking towards the door.

"c'mere, let's go." she says motioning her head towards the exit of the shop so she can close up.

you roll your eyes playfully and walk out the door thanking her for opening it for you.

you grab her hand and you look at her with a smile as you see a slight pink tint on her cheeks.

you finally make it to your dorm and check the time. It's currently almost 10pm.

"thank you for this ellie, I loved tonight and I want to do this again." you say with a genuine smile on your face.

"anytime, I definitely will have something better planned then just sitting in a coffee shop and talking.

"ha! ok els, get back to your dorm safe yea?" you say with a concerned look on your face.

"I will princess. goodnight." she says smiling at you. you smile back and bite your lip.

"goodnight ellie." you respond. both of you just stand there none of you moving.

you both are startled by a door opening and a voice. "oh sorry, I just heard voices and didn't know what was going on." a girl from the dorm across you said.

"no no tess your totally fine. sorry to wake you, goodnight." you say with a smile.

"night!" she smiles back at the both of you guys and then shuts her door.

"ok seriously, bye ellie, goodnight," you say before leaning over to kiss her one last time.

she kisses you back with the same passion and smiles into it. "I'll text you when I get back." ellie says before breaking the kiss and walking away with a wave.

"Goodnight beautiful, until next time." she says as she walks backwards leaving you.

you walk into your dorm room and sigh with joy as you lean against the door.

until next time ellie...

Taglist: @ribbonprincess @r3starttt @dollyfl1rt @raynesbandaids @quiet-villian + anyone else who wants to join!

[suzukiblu]

A/B/O Omega Kon Alpha Darcy Lewis

Darcy thinks maybe her new intern is a slut. Like–a big one. Big ol’ slut. 

Both metaphorically and literally, since he's 6’3” of Kansas beefcake and maybe the literal only human being alive who has a build remotely comparable to Thor's. 

So like, a billion steroids or secretly an alien, Darcy’s assuming. Or maybe somebody’s very sexy sexbot because if this omega was built to spec to look like this there is no way he is not a sexbot. Only the thirstiest motherfucker alive would design that face and those thighs and those pecs. 

Darcy has very nice tits. Like, upper-echelon level ones, frankly, which she is not too modest to pretend otherwise about. This omega, however, has pecs that cannot be contained by any T-shirt or farmboy flannel, much less any respectable button-up or lab coat, plus abs that can’t be contained by any of those either and an ass that somebody could bounce a quarter off. No matter how technically professionally he’s dressed, this omega looks like he’s starring in the first five minutes of a porno about a naughty lab assistant. Even his stupid glasses look like the cheapo fake ones that the naughty lab assistant only ever wears to get come spattered all over them. 

So like, that's been constantly haunting her and also making her feel like one of the creeps who only hires interns they wanna fuck. 

Darcy swears that she did not actually see Conner Kent in person before she hired him. She didn’t even see his face; they did a phone interview because the internet at his parents’ farm is apparently too spotty for Zoom. When he actually showed up she'd assumed he was a prank from the engineering department and actually a stripper or something. 

In her defense, literally any pair of pants that Conner Kent wears just looks like tearaway pants, alright? Just he wears every pair of pants like he could rip them straight off at a moment’s notice. It is frankly a problem. There are so, so many people finding thinly-veiled excuses to swing by her lab and ogle the dude while he’s just doing normal labwork while being too damn hot for any human being to actually be expected to be, especially in a lab environment, and he has definitely fucked his way through a good eighty percent of said oglers already, more than once during work hours. 

Whatever, it was always over his lunch break and he’s always polite enough to use the decon shower to get the sex pheromones off after, so Darcy’s not gonna judge. Be incredibly jealous of whoever’s pheromones he’s washing off, maybe, but not judge. 

And in fine “inherited from Jane Foster” tradition, the guy’s not even a science major and is only here for the college credits. He’s actually an art major, in fact, which is presumably why he keeps doodling weird designs in the margins of all her paperwork and leaving bafflingly perfect mini-sculptures around the lab. Darcy does not even know how he makes sculptures that good so quick. She has literally never even seen him with any sculpting tools or anything, but definitely she has seen all the tiny farm animals and superheroes and tropical flowers he keeps leaving all over the place. 

So like, her shiny new intern is a super-hot omega the size of an Asgardian warrior who cannot say a single sentence without it coming out flirty, but also likes to make cute little clay flowers and brings in something unfairly delicious that his blue-ribbon baker mom made to share at least twice a week, and also is just way too genuine and sincere and open as a person and even more ‘also’ will roll with literally any weird or insane thing that she says and then “yes, and?” her. 

Darcy really, really swears that she did not deliberately hire an intern she wants to fuck. She swears. 

Conner Kent, on the other hand, did not button his button-up all the way today on account of how his pecs are just shy of busting out of it as it is, and she is despairing over all the opinions that her knot has about the sight of both his cleavage and his bare and noticeably unbitten throat. 

Why couldn’t this stupid gorgeous farmboy wear a turtleneck just one day? It’s fall! Fall is perfect turtleneck weather! Or like he could wear one of those heavy cable-knit sweater dresses or something, maybe, and then look like the sexiest thing she’s ever wanted to cuddlefuck, which is not even a word, and oh god why is she like this. Why. Whyyyyy. 

Why. 

She is going to Hell, Darcy is very much certain. Like, whatever circle of it that creeps who wanna fuck their interns go to, that’s gonna be her eternal return address. 

“Shit, lost another stupid button,” Conner grumbles, making a face down at his shirt as he hooks a finger into the collar of it and tugs. “Oh, hey, boss, meant to ask, you want the huckleberry cheesecake or the orange creamsicle cake, or do you just wanna split ‘em?” 

. . . never mind, she’s already in Hell, Darcy notes. 

“Your mom is absolutely terrifying,” she says frankly. “How does any one beta bake this much?” 

“I mean, we kinda do it together, usually,” Conner replies with a shrug, leaning forward across his desk to pop open the same dessert tupperware he always brings and offer her one of the plastic forks inside. Darcy heroically does not check out his cleavage or actively salivate over his naked neck or go absolutely rabid over the knowledge that he apparently also bakes. “Actually I made the creamsicle cake solo, Ma had book club this week.” 

Darcy stares blankly at him, then takes the fork, stabs up a forkful of the orange creamsicle cake, and sticks it in her mouth. 

“Nrgaeggh,” she says. Conner blinks at her, looking puzzled. 

“Did I use too much sugar again?” he asks. 

“Nrgaeggh,” Darcy says, and anyway that’s how she follows another fine “inherited from Jane Foster” tradition and fucks the beefcake alien omega. In her defense, she didn’t really think Conner was an alien until he accidentally made all the lab equipment float when he sat down on her knot, and like what is she, a xenophobe or something? Priorities, dammit. Obviously. 

Though they do admittedly lose some of the glassware because of the weird alien telekinesis, but whatever. Again: priorities. 

Darcy also learns that yes, in fact, Conner Kent is in fact the biggest and most enthusiastic slut that she has ever met in her life, and she is so going to give that fact all the appreciation it so rightly deserves. And him. Also him. Definitely, definitely also him. 

“Damn, I shoulda made that cake weeks ago, boss,” Conner pants as he grins cockily down at her, his face all flushed and smug and his thighs very Thighs(tm) and his stupid button-up shirt even less buttoned-up than before. Darcy is starting to suspect that Conner might actually be buying his shirts a size small on purpose. Like, that is definitely a thing that she is starting to suspect about him. 

Well, then it’s probably really tight on him, isn’t it, and she should help him out of it. 

Like she said: priorities. 

[feathersandspurs]

Corythosaurus concepts. Based around an Okapi, these hadrosaurs are mostly raised domestically to eventually be ridden by ranchers(although they can only run about 30 mph, they help discourage stragglers due to their size and fend off smaller predators like coyotes, wolves, and Dryptosaurs) or to be used for food(Sauro Steaks). A few wild herds exist near Kansas and Nebraska, but the vast majority are ‘domestic’ and raised on farmland alongside livestock. These are considered prized livestock and are often targeted by cattle thieves. Occasionally the males are entered into local fairs to win prizes(judged by the rich colors in their crest and the sharpness of the markings on their legs).

[punkshort]

Chapter warnings: anxiety/panic attacks, PTSD, angst, language, fluff, smut (18+ MDNI)

A/N: I only edited this once, I apologize for any errors I missed, I have been sick the past week but wanted to make sure to get this chapter out to you all :)

Chapter Twenty

April 2005

The dim morning light seeped through the curtains with a bluish hue as the sun just began to rise. Although it was early, Joel had been awake for almost an hour for the second time that week, his hand clutching at his bare chest as he focused on his breathing. He had been tossing and turning, alternating between staring at your empty side of the bed and trying to go back to sleep. Eventually, his intrusive thoughts won the war, and just like every other time that happened, his chest began to tighten. He closed his eyes and imagined you putting your small hand over his heart, reminding him to breathe. He focused as hard as he could on the image, hearing you say it over and over until he felt his chest loosen and his lungs could drag in more air. When it finally passed, he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling, catching his breath and listening to the birds chirp outside his window.

It had been almost four months since you left. At first, he gave you your space, but after a month, he couldn't stay away. He found himself leaning against the bar of the Tipsy Bison every night, throwing back whiskey and waiting for you to show up. He figured you would eventually have to go there to eat, but you must have been making food at Maria's house, or maybe Maria had been bringing food back to you because you never came.

Then he was at Maria's door, drunkenly begging to see you from the porch. If Maria was home, she would send him on his way, gently telling him you wanted to be left alone. If no one answered, he would sit there for at least an hour, even in the freezing cold of winter, hoping you would change your mind and let him in.

He knew it was pathetic, but he didn't care. If he didn't have you, there was no point. He was determined to explain himself. He should have told you months ago when you thought he was just being jealous. You weren't wrong, he was a little jealous and possessive at the way Jake spoke to you, looked at you, kissed you. But the main reason, the real reason why he lost all control that night was because of Kansas City. At the time, he didn't want to burden you with his problems, knowing you had enough to worry about, enough trauma to work through on your own that he wasn't going to saddle you with his, but that night in Kansas City changed him. He didn't realize it until months later, too focused on you and trying to keep you going, trying to keep you safe. But after talking with Tommy, he realized he must have had some unresolved trauma from the whole event. The panic attacks, the flashbacks, and his hesitancy to be physical with you all stemmed from that night.

Tommy told him he had to forgive himself for what happened to you, that until he did, he would never be able to move on. However, he couldn't work on that without talking to you first, to apologize and explain why he did what he did, but you kept yourself hidden away.

You still went to work at the greenhouse, but he wouldn't corner you there. He wanted you to talk to him on your own terms. Sometimes, if he was lucky, he would catch you from a distance crossing the street hurriedly as you made your way to work, your head down, avoiding eye contact with everyone until you made it inside the safety of the greenhouse.

You had been right, there was a town vote on whether Joel should be asked to leave. He had the right to state his case, so he was there that night, hoping to see you up close, but you didn't go. Tommy had helped him prepare a speech, told him to focus on all the good he did for the town with the construction of the wall, that it was a one-time incident and beg the people not to judge him too harshly for it. It must have worked because they only received nine votes wanting him to leave. The matter was settled, he was allowed to stay. He thought once you heard the news that you would be open to talking with him, but he was wrong.

Even though it was spring, the mornings were still cool. He looked over at your side of the bed and wondered if you were cold, if you missed his touch the way he missed yours.

He sighed and sat up in bed, tossing his legs over the side of the mattress. He stretched and grabbed some clothes, heading out the door to the bathroom. He glanced once at the closed door across the hall before entering the bathroom. As quietly as he could, he turned the water on in the shower and pulled the curtain shut, letting the hot water sear his skin. He was trying to be careful not to wake Tommy or his new neighbor, an older man named Luther.

Jake was in the infirmary for almost two weeks before he was released. Obviously, neither he nor Joel wanted to live in the same house anymore, so one day when Joel was at work, Jake, with some help, came to collect his belongings. He ended up switching rooms with Luther, who had previously been living above the infirmary. Luther was in his 70s and at the time, was probably the only person in town who didn't care about living so close to Joel. Even though only nine people wanted him gone, the town kept their distance from him for a while, avoiding his eye when he walked down the street, sitting far away from him at the dining hall. If it wasn't for Tommy and Maria, he would have been completely alone.

He stepped out of the shower and dried himself off, deciding he might as well get an early start on the day. The wall was just about finished. He estimated it would be fully complete by the end of next week, so long as they didn't get any major rain that delayed construction.

He quietly boiled some water for instant coffee, too impatient to wait for the coffee maker, and poured it into a thermos. He slid on his boots and grabbed a jacket but didn't put it on as he walked out the door. He paused to take a deep breath, inhaling the fresh, early morning air. He walked down the steps, glancing up and down the street before turning to head towards the new neighborhood. It was early, the rest of the town was still asleep. Or so he thought.

He took a sip from his thermos, tipping his head back and cursing when he burnt his tongue. He rounded the corner of the street, wiping coffee from his chin when he collided headfirst into you.

He smelled your shampoo before he even saw your face, and his heart began to thud wildly in his chest. His breath caught in his throat when you looked up at him, your beautiful eyes wide with shock.

"Oh!" you exclaimed, your gaze raking down his body quickly before looking back up at him. "S-sorry," you said, blush creeping along your cheeks as you moved to the side to walk past him.

"It's alright," he murmured, still taking in every detail of you now that he's finally seen you up close. Your face looked thinner, and your hair was a little longer, but otherwise you still looked the same. You began to walk away, your eyes fixed on your destination and trying not to give your emotions away when he called your name. You stopped, but you didn't turn around.

He struggled with what to say, not expecting you to stop.

"How are you?" he asked softly. Idiot.

"I'm good," you said. Your voice sounded so small. His eyes drifted to the thermos in his hand, trying to think of something else to say when, to his surprise, you spoke again.

"How are you?"

You still had your back to him, but your head was turned slightly to the side.

"Good," he replied, but shook his head and dropped his shoulders.

"That's a lie. I'm fuckin' terrible."

He heard you suck in air at his admission, and he shifted his weight to his other foot, waiting for you to say something, anything else.

"You look tired," you said, turning slightly to face him now.

"Can't sleep without you," he said, his eyebrows pinched. It looked like you wanted to say something else but held back, choosing instead to bite down on your lip and look away as you rocked on your heels.

"I look for you every day," he whispered. Your eyes fluttered shut and you pressed your lips together. "Miss you so much, it hurts."

"Joel..." you said, wiping a tear from your cheek. He swallowed and clenched his fist at his side, trying to restrain himself from wrapping you up in his arms. 

"You need to stop coming by Maria's," you told him, eyes still shut. "You're making this so much harder than it has to be."

"Will you at least talk to me?" he begged. His throat felt tight from trying to stifle his emotions. When you didn't respond, he tried again.

"I'll leave you alone, but please, just talk to me, once. One time. That's all."

You opened your eyes and looked at him now, seeing the desperation and pain written all over his face.

He could hear someone's front door open and shut, then two people's voices breaking the morning silence and heading in your direction.

"Let me think about it," you said, then quickly turned from him to head towards the greenhouse.

He released the breath he didn't realize he was holding as he watched you leave.

That was the most you've spoken to him in months. Progress.

He felt a wave of relief wash over him as you rounded the corner, out of sight.

You pushed the greenhouse door open and slammed it shut behind you, leaning against it to catch your breath. Joel was never out this early. You always tried to sneak around town whenever you knew he was working or sleeping, desperately attempting to avoid what just happened because you knew when you finally did see him, you would crack.

You buried your face in your hands, grateful to be alone for once so you could gather yourself. Carrie still helped in the greenhouse when she could, but the night of the fight, Bill, the town doctor, enlisted her assistance in patching Jake up. Apparently, she did an outstanding job and Bill was eager to keep her around more at the infirmary. Carrie had always been more interested in medicine and always so excited to learn whenever Bill gave her the chance, so you understood that she wanted to prioritize that over the greenhouse.

She never held it against you once you tearfully explained to her what happened. In fact, she felt bad that she had put you in that position in the first place, which you immediately brushed off, assuring her it was not her fault, and that both the men were idiots.

You had feared the worst that night. Afraid Joel had beaten Jake so badly that he wouldn't make it, knowing if that happened, he most definitely would be asked to leave Jackson. You were so grateful that Carrie provided you with constant updates on his improving condition. You didn't want to go visit him and give the wrong impression to anybody in town, least of all Jake.

You shrugged your coat off and hung it by the door, heading to the office to review the notes you had made regarding the various stages of herbs and vegetables. This was the week you had planned on harvesting a crop of medicinal herbs to bring over to Bill, so you pulled your gloves on and grabbed your shears, getting to work.

You replayed your interaction with Joel over and over in your mind as you clipped the herbs, carefully knotting them together with twine and labeling them before moving on. You had been successfully avoiding him for months, but you knew this would happen someday. You used to be so angry with him for what he did: not letting you take care of yourself, not believing you when you told him you handled the situation, then went and embarrassed you in front of the whole town and risked the chance of getting kicked out. But as time went on, that anger melted away, and every day you felt yourself weaken even more.

He sat outside on Maria's porch most nights, hoping you would come to him. And so many times, you almost did. You stood on the other side of the door, resting your forehead against it, listening to the war raging inside you until you either gave up and went back to your room, or he left. It was killing you having him out there. You couldn't think straight, couldn't work through your feelings when you knew he was there, standing vigil outside your door.

And now, you finally ran into him. Literally, ran into him. And he smelled so good. You could tell he had just showered; his hair was still slicked back in the way you secretly loved but never told him. And he was warm. His rough hand on you was so warm and inviting, it dragged back so many memories of what those hands could do that you needed to take a step back to collect yourself.

When you saw the pain in his face, you tried your best to look away, to avoid eye contact because if you didn't you knew you would give in and go to him, and you still hadn't figured out after all this time if that was what you wanted. His constant presence was making your mind muddled and it was impossible to sort through your feelings. The only place you found refuge was in the greenhouse, where you were primarily alone, with no external stimulus to distract you. Here is where you could finally think.

And you were beginning to think you wanted him back.

You groaned, shaking your head as you tried to focus.

You finished up harvesting the medicinal herbs, making a mental note to check on the seedlings when you returned. You packed the herbs into a basket and made your way outside.

The sun was out, but the air was still brisk. You had pulled your coat on, but five minutes into the walk to the infirmary, you regretted wearing it. As you walked down the now busy street, your eyes naturally traveled to the new neighborhood where Joel was working. Sure enough, you spotted him talking to someone and pointing at the small unfinished portion of the wall. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and you watched his forearms flex. You always were so mesmerized by his arms, and the familiar pull in your abdomen reminded you he still had that effect.

The man he was speaking to walked in the direction Joel had been pointing, and then he stood there with his hands on his hips. As if he felt your gaze, he turned towards your direction, searching the crowd. You quickly averted your eyes and focused your attention on the infirmary. You walked up the steps and gave two quick knocks before pushing the door open, and you swore you felt Joel's gaze on your back until you closed the door behind you.

"Bill?" you called out, the place surprisingly quiet. "Carrie?"

You peered around a corner into an exam room to find it empty. You frowned and kept moving down the hall.

"Hello?" you called out again, softer this time. You placed your hand on a doorknob when you heard something fall at the end of the hall. You dropped your hand and moved in the direction of the noise.

"Bill?" you said timidly. "It's me. I have turmeric and ginger for you."

Still not getting a response, your heart rate began to pick up, wondering what the hell was going on.

Your hand hovered over the doorknob of the last exam room, listening intently, trying to figure out if anyone or anything was behind the door. You gripped your basket tightly in your hand, and pushed the door open with a start.

"Oh my god!" you exclaimed, covering your eyes. You had been expecting the worst, wondering if someone had gotten bit and turned, but what you didn't expect was Jake half naked on top of Carrie on the exam room bed.

"I'm sorry!" you said, slamming the door behind you, still covering your eyes. You heard hushed whispers on the other side of the door, and you dropped your hand, rushing to the front of the office and placing your basket down, figuring Carrie could bring it back empty for her next shift.

You hustled out of the building, your face bright red as you made your way back. You had no idea if Joel saw you this time, too embarrassed to look. You kept your head down until you made it back to the sanctity of the greenhouse, and for the second time that morning, collecting yourself as you caught your breath against the door.

"Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later," Maria said after you told her about your conversation with Joel. She was fixing her hair in the bathroom, about to head out to dinner with Tommy, while you stood against the door frame and regaled her with your story.

"Yeah, I know," you muttered, rolling your head against the wall.

"How long are you gonna make him suffer?" she teased you. "I mean, don't get me wrong, you're always welcome here, but the new neighborhood will be done soon..."

"How much longer til it's done?" you asked.

"Joel thinks by end of next week. I'm going to head over there tomorrow and start assigning houses."

You nodded, thinking back to Joel's request from that morning.

"Maybe I should at least talk to him," you suggested, and Maria squealed, making you jump.

"I'm sorry, but please, I'm begging you. I didn't want to make you feel bad, but he's just so miserable sitting at that bar all alone every night, then hanging around my porch."

"Well, it's not like I'm torturing him for no reason!" you argued. She held up her hands in defeat.

"I know. You're right. What he did was wrong. Hell, I was ready to kick his ass that night. But he's redeemed himself. He's done so much for the town, and he's never had another altercation. Even when Jake is around, there's no problem anymore." Maria flicked the light off and headed down the hall to the kitchen.

"Speaking of Jake, I saw him today when I was dropping off herbs to Bill," you said, trailing after her.

"Oh, yeah? Was it awkward?"

You laughed, and she turned to look at you, giving you a curious smile.

"Uh, yeah, it was awkward, but not for the reason you're thinking."

You went on to tell her how you walked in on him and Carrie and she clamped her hands over her mouth as she listened to your story. The two of you were doubling over with laughter when Tommy entered the kitchen with a smile on his face.

"What're you girls laughin' about?" he asked, wrapping an arm around Maria and giving her a kiss on the top of her head. You looked away, trying not to remember how Joel used to pull that exact move on you.

"Oh, I'll tell you about it later. You wanna join us?" Maria asked, turning to you. Even though your answer was always no, she asked you every night anyway.

"Yeah, thanks. I'll just get something to bring back here," you said, breezing past them and ignoring their surprised faces.

Maria turned to Tommy and mouthed the word "Joel" behind your back, exchanging looks.

"Ready?" you asked them over your shoulder, pulling the door open.

"Yep!" Maria said, dragging Tommy behind her and out the door.

Joel settled into his usual spot at the bar and waited for Seth to bring over his glass of whiskey. He glanced around the room as Seth put the drink in front of him, envious of all the happy and smiling faces. He stared down at the full glass in his hands, just watching the liquid swirl around without taking a sip. He had no idea what he would do tonight now that he promised you he would stop going to Maria's house. Even though you never opened the door, it eased his mind knowing you were near, that you were safe. It was the only good part of his day.

He rubbed his face into the palms of his hands, trying not to let the panic swell up inside his chest. He breathed deeply a few times, but it wasn't helping.

'Shit,' he thought, 'This can't happen here.’

He stood from his stool, abandoning his untouched glass of whiskey and yanked on his coat, his vision getting narrow. He heard Tommy and Maria enter from across the room like they usually did around this time. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping they wouldn't see him as he shuffled his way towards the door, keeping his head down and flexing his fingers, trying to keep them from going numb.

"Joel?"

He froze, unsure if he really heard your voice. Maybe he was going crazy.

Then you reached out to put a hand on his arm, and just like that, his hands didn't feel tingly anymore. He looked up and met your concerned gaze. He must have looked like a wreck because you turned back towards the door, tugging his elbow, forcing him to follow you.

You pulled him outside and down the street a bit, finding a bench in a quiet area and made him sit down. He hung his head between his knees as he struggled for air.

"Come on," you said softly, rubbing his back. "You're ok. Lift your head up," you tugged gently on his shoulder, making him sit upright to look at you. His eyes were glassy and his jaw tense as he clutched at his chest.

"Joel, come on, you can do this," you told him firmly, removing his hand and replacing it with your own over his heart. His eyes slid shut and his head tipped back, relief instantly flooding through him at your touch.

"In through your nose, out through your mouth," you said quietly, and he immediately obeyed. You didn't remove your hand until you felt his heartbeat return to normal and his eyes reopened.

"Thank you," he panted lightly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Does that happen a lot?" you asked, picking at the seam of your jeans. He nodded.

"Yeah," was all he offered, and you swallowed. They never used to happen that often.

"This might be a bad time but did you... did you want to still have that talk?" you asked him, chewing on your lower lip nervously.

"Never a bad time if I'm with you," he said weakly, still rattled from his panic attack but his eyes were wide and hopeful. You blushed and nodded your head down the street.

"Let's take a walk," you suggested, standing up.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, joining you as you slowly meandered down the almost empty street.

For the first time since you met, you were uncomfortable and not sure what to say. So, you decided to keep it to small talk, keep it safe. 

"Maria told me the wall is almost done," you said.

"Yeah, another week should do it," he said, rubbing the back of his neck as he walked alongside you.

"What will you do when it's finished?" you asked, glancing at him. He looked nervous.

"Oh, I got some stuff I gotta work on over there for a bit, then I reckon Tommy'll have me on patrol."

"Patrol?" you repeated, your brows furrowed.

"Yeah, why? You don't want me on patrol?" he asked when he saw your face, then bit his cheek after he realized what he said. He wasn't even sure you were together anymore, but he was talking like you were.

"No," you shrugged, "do whatever you want."

You walked in silence for a couple minutes, slowly making your way down the street before you realized you were heading toward the stables. The horses were out in the pasture grazing and enjoying the last bit of daylight. You walked up to the fence and leaned against it, watching the horses flick their ears and tails.

"It probably won't mean much now," Joel said, taking a deep breath. "But I'm sorry. I'm so fuckin' sorry. I was stupid and I overreacted. And I shoulda listened to you. You told me you handled it, and you did, it's just..."

His jaw ticked and he looked away from you.

"I just got some stuff to work through, is all. It's my fault," he said, still looking away. You watched him carefully now that his face was turned away. You could tell he was struggling with something, like he was holding something back, but he seemed sincere.

"Thank you," you said quietly, and rested your chin on the top of your hands as you looked out at the pasture. Joel looked back at you, admiring the way the evening sun highlighted your delicate features.

"Goddamn, you're beautiful," he whispered in awe. You felt a shiver go up your spine and you tried to hide it by awkwardly shifting your weight.

"Joel..." you said, trying to make your tone come off as a warning, but failing. He was breaking you down, you could feel it.

"Gimme another chance," he begged, turning his body to face you, leaning his side against the fence. "Please. I-I can't stop thinkin' about you. I'll do whatever it takes. Please."

You knew it would be your downfall, but you did it anyway. You turned your head and looked into his deep, brown eyes, filled with regret and anguish. His expression was pleading as he nervously picked at the paint on the fence without looking.

After everything the two of you had been through, saving each other's lives, being there for each other through it all, and defying all odds at survival, how could you not give in?

"Okay," you whispered, and his face lit up. He reached out a hand to you with a smile and you took it, pulling you into a tight hug and burying his nose in your hair, breathing deep. You smelled like roses and some strong herb that you grew in the greenhouse he couldn't quite identify, and fuck did he miss that smell. He missed the way you fit perfectly into his arms and how you always knew exactly what to do to help with his attacks. He didn't deserve you, he’d known that for a while, but he also knew he would never love anybody else the way he loved you.

"I don't think I can just jump right back to the way we were before," you murmured against his chest, and he nodded.

"I know," he said, "I understand." Even though he said the words, his heart broke a little realizing you wouldn't be in bed next to him tonight. But you were giving him another chance, that's what was important, and he wasn't going to fuck it up again.

"Will you walk me back?" you asked quietly, still clutched in his embrace.

"'Course I will," he said, taking a step back. He dropped his arm to his side and laced his fingers in between yours.

The day had turned to dusk, the string lights that weaved above your heads began to flicker on as he walked you back to Maria's house in a comfortable silence. He tried to go slow, wanting to soak up every second he could before he had to go back to Tommy's all alone.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" Joel asked you, hoping he didn't sound as needy as he felt. You thought about it for a moment.

"How about lunch?" you offered, and he couldn't keep the smile from pulling across his face as he led you up the steps to Maria's porch.

"Sounds perfect," he said. You turned and looked up at him through your eyelashes as you stood in front of the door.

"Thanks for walking me back," you said, letting his hand go and dropping it to your side.

"Thank you for not givin' up on me," he replied with a sad smile.

You reached up to wrap your arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug, pressing your face against his neck.

"I just wish you would have trusted me," you murmured into his skin. "But I'll never give up on you, Joel."

He pulled back from you just enough so he could lean down and capture your lips with his, bringing one of his hands up to cup your cheek. His kiss took you by surprise, but you only needed a moment before reacting. You massaged your lips against his slowly and gently, like you were trying to commit every second to memory. You didn't look to deepen the kiss. You just wanted to feel him close to you, not realizing how badly you missed him and his touch. You let one of your hands fall to his collar from the back of his neck, gripping the fabric there tightly in your fist.

He tried to match your pace, he tried to go slow, but it had been four agonizing months without you, and he found it impossible to restrain himself. He pressed his lips against yours firmly, increasing the pace and frequency of kisses he planted against your mouth. He slid his hand from your cheek to the back of your head, holding you against him. That's when you moaned softly, and his judgement began to slip. He reluctantly pulled away from you, a gasp escaping your lips at the sudden loss.

"Sorry," he whispered, panting for air. "It's just... if we keep goin', we'll be gettin' breakfast instead of lunch."

You laughed breathlessly as you felt heat creep up your neck. He grinned, pleased he could make you laugh.

You reached for the door, your hand on the knob, and turned back to him before pushing it open.

"Good night, Joel," you said quietly.

"G'night, sweetheart," he replied as he watched you enter the house, shutting the door softly behind you.

The next morning, Joel awoke early, like usual, but the anxiety that typically greeted him was absent. He laid in the bed you once shared, staring up at the ceiling and listening to the birds awaken outside, waiting for his chest to constrict, but it never came. Instead, his thoughts were filled with you from the day before. How sweet and gentle you were when you helped him through his panic attack. The way you looked at him with your soft, beautiful eyes, your hair pulled back but still some strands made their way to rest against your collarbone, and the shy smiles you offered that reminded him of when you had first met.

He closed his eyes, replaying the kiss you shared outside of Maria's house. He could tell he took you off guard. He knew he took a risk, but he couldn't help himself. And the soft, slow way you kissed him back was unlike anything the two of you had shared before. He was used to the passionate, hungry way you typically were with one another, but yesterday felt different. Yesterday felt like love. He wanted more, wishing he hadn't allowed himself to pick up the pace and then stopped the moment too soon.

He couldn't keep the smile from his face as he got ready, looking forward to meeting you for lunch. Maria was supposed to stop by the new neighborhood that morning, he was hoping that would help make his day go by fast so he could see you again.

He jogged lightly down the stairs, a spring in his step as he reached for his usual thermos, noticing the coffee had already been brewed. He turned around, looking for evidence of his roommates, shocked Tommy or Luther had been up at this hour. He shrugged, pouring some coffee into his thermos when he heard the downstairs bathroom door open.

"You're up early," Joel said over his shoulder, turning around. His jaw fell open and his eyebrows shot up in embarrassment when instead of meeting Tommy's gaze, he met Maria's, with only a towel wrapped around herself, frozen in the hallway. Joel whipped back around to face the coffee maker and cleared his throat.

"Sorry, thought you were Tommy," Joel said, staring down at the coffee in his hands.

"No problem!" Maria squeaked, making a beeline for Tommy's bedroom and shutting the door. He could hear hushed whispers from the room as Joel slid his boots on. He was tying them up when Tommy emerged from the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

"G'mornin'," Tommy mumbled, still half asleep.

"Yeah, looks like you are havin' a good mornin'," Joel chuckled, reaching for the other boot's laces. Tommy rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous habit that seemed to run in the family.

"Thought you might've stayed the night at Maria's," Tommy said as Joel stood, snatching his coffee from the bottom stair. Joel looked at him, confused, before he elaborated.

"We saw you two last night," Tommy explained with a grin. "Comin' back from dinner. We saw you on Maria's porch. So, I took her back here, thought you could use the privacy."

"Oh," Joel said, nodding. He picked his coat from the hook by the door but just held it in his hand, not sure yet what the temperature was like outside. "No, nothin' like that."

Joel must have had a dejected look on his face because Tommy's face turned to one of concern.

"Everythin' alright now?" he prodded.

"Yeah. Or, it will be. I think. She's givin' me another chance, but I think we both got stuff we need to work out. Tryin' to take it slow."

"Hey, now that's good news! And I'll bet once she sees that house, it'll all be forgotten," Tommy said, clapping Joel on the shoulder before heading over to the coffee.

"Yeah, thanks. Hey, tell Maria I'll see her in a bit," Joel replied as he tossed his coat over his arm and walked out the front door.

He hoped Tommy was right. He has been working on that house for weeks, ever since the weather broke and he had the opportunity to spend extra time there after work. The house itself was in good condition, but he wanted it to be perfect. He had knocked down a wall, opening up the kitchen and the living room. He fixed a few broken things around the house: a door that wouldn't shut properly, a cabinet that was missing a handle. But most recently, he had been working on the outside. There was a small porch already installed, but it wasn't a wraparound porch, and that was what you told him you always wanted. So, he built it for you, taking great care as he went to make it perfect, and even carved some decorative designs into the wood when the mood struck and when he found the time. He had just finished construction on the porch and yesterday he had begun to paint the siding white with some paint Tommy had looted for him at a nearby hardware store.

He was keeping the house a secret until he had it just the way he wanted it for you. Just the way you always deserved.

'One step at a time,' he told himself as he approached the house, testing the wooden swing he built on the porch before taking a seat, sipping from his thermos as he looked around the quiet neighborhood. One step at a time.

"What is wrong with me?" you muttered to yourself as you strode down the street towards the Tipsy Bison. Your hands were trembling as you walked, your nerves creeping up on you ever since you left the greenhouse. Why were you so anxious to see Joel? He was the only constant in your life for so long, this should be easy. But for some reason, you were nervous to see him. Nervous about what to say. You were so lost in your thoughts that it took Carrie twice to call out your name before you heard her, turning around. You must have walked right by her and Jake without realizing it.

"Oh!" you said, shaking your head and giving her a smile. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention." Your eyes drifted to Jake's and gave him a small smile. You hadn't seen him since the fight, and you wouldn't really count the time you walked in on him and Carrie all over each other. Fortunately, he seemed fully healed and looked happy, giving you a warm smile with his arm draped around Carrie's shoulder.

"Heading to lunch?" Carrie asked you brightly. You nodded, deciding to leave Joel's name out of it.

"Yep, how about you guys?"

"We packed a little picnic!" Carrie said, lifting a basket in her hand. "We're going to enjoy some of this nice weather, this winter has been so horrible, I've just been dying to get outside." Her eyes shifted to Jake, noticing he was rather quiet.

"Um, why don't I go on ahead and find a good spot in the park?" Carrie said quietly to Jake. He gave her an adoring smile and nodded. You frowned, confused at the obvious setup that was taking place.

"I'll see you tomorrow at work," she told you with a wave and one more reassuring glance at Jake before heading towards the small park near the center of town.

"Everything alright?" you asked him curiously, and he nodded.

"Oh yeah, everything's fine. She just wanted us to clear the air about, y'know," he gestured vaguely at nothing in particular, and you nodded.

"Right," you said, looking down at your feet. "Well, I'm sorry I didn't visit, I was just so embarrassed, and I knew everyone in town would talk... but I asked Carrie for updates all the time. It's not like I didn't care, I just..." you trailed off, glancing around you nervously, looking for Joel.

"I know, it's alright," he said with a smile, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I actually wanted to apologize to you." You frowned, finally looking back up at him.

"Apologize? For what?" you asked incredulously.

"Well, kissing you, for one. I know I already explained it was a misunderstanding, but that night got me all worked up and I had this stupid idea that you would be happier with me... I don't know, I guess I just let my feelings get the best of me. And I'm sorry I put you in that position," he said sincerely, looking you straight in the eye to try to drive his point home. "And secondly, I'm sorry for what I said to you during the fight. It wasn't right, I had no place to say that to you. I-I don't have any idea what your relationship with Joel is like, I was just pissed and talking out of my ass."

Jake looked relieved once he finished his speech, and you wondered briefly if he rehearsed it. It certainly felt like it. You had no idea he was feeling responsible for what happened that night. You were too wrapped up in what you and Joel were going through to give Jake a second thought.

"Oh, you don't need to apologize, but I appreciate it all the same," you said, waving him off and feeling guilty you didn't consider his side of things until now. "I'm sorry - about what Joel did. We've just been through a lot out there," you gestured to the world beyond Jackson. "It's no excuse, but I think we were both a little distrusting of new people at the time. And I'm just glad you're okay."

"It's alright," he said, awkwardly shifting his weight and glancing around at the now busy street. "Hell, maybe it was meant to be," he chuckled, and you gave him a confused smile. "Carrie," he clarified, gesturing in the direction she had walked toward earlier. "She took care of me after that, and I got to know her. You were right to try to set us up. She's awesome," he said, gazing longingly towards the park. You turned and looked in the same direction, as if you could see her from where you were standing.

"Hm, you're right," you said, turning back to him. "Maybe you owe me one, then." He laughed at your joke, finally looking more relaxed.

"Well, anyway, I won't keep you. Just wanted to, y'know, go back to normal," he said with a shrug.

"Yeah, thanks Jake," you said, and you meant it. "I'll see you around."

You gave him a wave and turned to head back towards the Tipsy Bison, nervous to see Joel for an entirely different reason now.

You pushed the door open and looked around the packed dining hall. He noticed you immediately and stood up from the table he had claimed, drawing your attention and a smile. You squeezed through the full tables of neighbors laughing and eating. Once you reached the table, Joel wrapped you into a quick one-armed hug before sliding your chair out for you.

"Wow, pulling out all the stops?" you joked, trying to lighten the mood. He grinned and sat down.

"Well, I'm still from the south. Old habits and all that," he said, tapping his fingers anxiously on the table. The noise drew your attention to his hands, and you frowned, reaching over to pick up one of his hands gently in yours.

"Why are your hands red?" you asked.

"Oh, just some paint," he said, watching you turn his hand over in yours to examine it closer before letting it go, already missing your touch.

"Sheesh, I thought it was blood or something. Are you painting the wall?" you asked, confused. He shook his head.

"Nah, just somethin' else I'm workin' on," he explained, desperate to change the subject. "Was there a plant emergency or somethin'?" he joked, making you laugh heartily, and you shook your head.

"No, I'm sorry I'm late. I ran into someone, and they were talking my ear off," you said, looking down at the table, avoiding his gaze.

"Oh, alright. Thought maybe I dreamed up our conversation last night, had me worried I was losin' it," he said, his hand entering your field of vision to reach for yours. You smiled and looked back up at him, then decided if you were starting over, you should be honest.

"It was Jake," you said, maintaining eye contact to gauge his reaction. He stilled for a moment, and a muscle in his jaw twitched, but he forced a smile anyway.

"Okay," he said, rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand. "So, how was your morning?"

"You aren't going to ask me what he wanted?" you asked, keeping a close eye on his reaction. He shook his head, still smiling at you.

"Nope. Not unless you feel like tellin' me. I trust you," he said, sitting back in his chair and looked up at the busy bar. "I'll go up and order us somethin', what'dya feel like havin'?"

"I'll have whatever you're having," you said, a bewildered look on your face. He stood up and headed over to the bar, leaning against it to get Seth's attention.

You sat there, shocked, as you waited for Joel to return with your food. You could tell Joel still had a reaction to hearing Jake's name, but he controlled himself and didn't lash out.  You were touched, noticing how hard he was trying. He even made a point to say he trusted you.

You watched as he made his way back to your table, people inadvertently moving out of his way, unlike you who had to squeeze through the crowds.

"What?" Joel asked with a smirk, seeing the look on your face.

"I was just thinking about when we used to work together," you told him, and he groaned, setting down a sandwich in front of you.

"Seems like a lifetime ago," he said, taking a bite of his food. "What made you think of that?"

"Just the way everyone moved out of your way," you told him, unwrapping your sandwich. "Everyone at the office was terrified of you."

"Not you," he said, catching your eye.

"You sure about that?" you teased, knowing he was referencing the intense conversation you both had in the conference room. He smiled, pleased you remembered that night.

"He apologized, by the way," you said, offering up the information he wanted, even though he refused to ask. He raised his eyebrows.

"I should be the one to apologize to him," he admitted, looking down.

"I kind of did that for you," you said, shrugging. "I just explained we had trouble trusting people. Besides, he's more than happy with the way things turned out."

You went on to tell Joel about Jake and Carrie, how they stared at each other and couldn't keep their hands off the other. When you told him how you walked in on the two of them at the clinic, he nearly choked on his sandwich, making you giggle.

"Goddamn, you had yourself a day, huh?" he said, leaning back in his chair and crumpling up the paper from his sandwich.

"Mhmm," you said, finishing your food. "From beginning to end," you said, giving him a look. His gaze grew heated as he thought about the kiss you shared last night, leaning forward on the table with his arms crossed.

"Thought about you a lot after I left," he said lowly, and your breath hitched in your throat.

"Oh, yeah?" you murmured, leaning onto the table, mimicking him. "What did you think about?"

"I don't think that answer's appropriate for a lady such as yourself to hear," he smirked, his pulse thudding in his neck at the direction the conversation was taking.

You hummed, flashing him a flirty smile as you inched your hand out across the table towards him.

"There are those southern manners again," you said, watching his hand reached towards yours, his fingertips lightly brushing against your own.

"Can't be helped, I'm afraid," he said, hooking a finger under one of your own.

"I can recall many times when those manners seemed to escape you, Mr. Miller," you said quietly, watching his eyes flicker at the formal title. "In fact, I remember you saying some very filthy things -"

Joel cut you off with a loud clearing of his throat. He subtly glanced around at the tables nearby, looking to see if anyone had been eavesdropping on your conversation before turning back to you.

"Why are you always rilin' me up in this building?" he asked you, giving your finger a tug with his own. You shrugged, leaning back with a giggle.

"Can't be helped, I'm afraid," you said, repeating his words back to him. "I guess I have a thing for tacky western decor."

He laughed, rubbing his face with his hand while his other remained hooked around your finger.

"This was nice," he said, dropping his hand to his lap.

"Yeah, it was," you said, shifting in your seat. "Do you have time to walk me back to work?"

"For you, I got all the time in the world," he replied. You rolled your eyes at the corny line, but you couldn't keep the smile from sneaking across your face.

Joel held the door open for you as you stepped out of the Tipsy Bison. You quirked an eyebrow at him as you exited, the corner of your mouth turning up into a half smile.

"Manners," he reminded you, bending his arm and offering you his elbow. You threw your head back and laughed at how far he was taking the joke, but you gave in and tucked your hand into the crook of his arm as he escorted you down the street towards the greenhouse.

"Maria mentioned this mornin' she was gonna have a small party for the town to celebrate the new neighborhood," he said, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh, that's a nice idea. It's been such a long winter and we are all sick of being cooped up in each other's houses, it'll be good to have a little fun."

"So, you'll go?" Joel asked, turning his face towards you now.

"Sure, I'll go," you said, squinting up at him, trying to see his face through the bright sunlight. He cleared his throat.

"Would you be my date?" he asked sheepishly. You stopped walking, already finding yourself standing in front of the greenhouse door.

"I'm not sure we've ever been on a date," you said with a smile.

"I'd consider this a date," he said, taking a step towards you.

"I suppose you're right," you agreed, watching his eyes drift to your mouth as you bit your lower lip.

"So, is that a 'yes'?" he asked, raising an arm up to lean against the side of the greenhouse.

"I'd love to," you told him, and he grinned. You leaned up, resting one hand on his shoulder for balance, and planted a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth. He turned his head to try to capture your lips, but you had already released his shoulder and backed away.

"Don't want to rile you up," you said over your shoulder, pushing the door open and disappearing inside.

Over the next week, Joel fell into the habit of walking you to and from work every day, since he couldn't meet you for lunch as often as he would have liked. He ended up working through lunch, feeling the pressure to make sure the new neighborhood was ready for the party. It seemed like that's all anyone could talk about around town. The teachers at the school in town even had the kids make decorations. He was making mental notes about what still needed to be done in your house when you swung Maria's door open, greeting him with a warm smile.

"Good morning," you said softly, trying not to disturb Tommy and Maria as you shut the door behind you.

"Mornin'," Joel replied, his hand immediately finding yours at your side as he led you down the street.

"You excited for tonight?" you asked him, but he was distracted, still thinking about your house, wondering if he forgot anything. "Joel?" His tired eyes snapped up to yours, finally processing your question.

"Oh, yeah. Should be fun," he said.

"What's wrong?" you asked, frowning. He shook his head.

"Nothin', just a little anxious. Hopin' I didn't miss anythin'," he explained truthfully, just leaving out the part about your house.

"How have your panic attacks been?" you asked tentatively as you walked side by side.

"Good. Actually haven't had one in about a week," he said, looking down at you. "Wonder why that is."

You smiled and rubbed his arm with your free hand.

"That's good. I'm sure everything will go great, try not to worry too much."

You approached the greenhouse door all too soon, but before Joel could drop your hand, you gave him a small tug.

"I have something for you, do you have a second?" you asked, tilting your head towards the door.

"'Course I do," he said with a grin, and followed you inside, the humidity hitting him like a ton of bricks.

"Jesus, I forgot how warm it is in here," he said, shedding his coat and hanging it by the door next to yours, following you towards the small office in the back of the building.

"Alright, now I don't know how good it is, I was reading some books about how to make tea and I think I got it right. I was going to try some out myself first, but it sounds like you could use it now," you rambled, opening a drawer and rummaging around for a small bag, holding it out to him. He took it gently from your hand, inspecting the dried tea leaves closely.

"It's chamomile. It's supposed to help with anxiety," you explained as he still stared down at the bag in his hands. "I know you prefer coffee, but caffeine just makes anxiety worse so I thought maybe you could give this a try now and then."

He looked up at you now, his eyes round and filled with warmth.

"You did this for me?" he asked softly, and you nodded.

He stepped forward, crowding you against the small desk behind you, and dipped down, his lips slotting against yours. His free hand came up to cup your jaw gently, and your hands drifted to rest on his hips as you sighed against his mouth. His lips were soft and warm, pressing languidly against your own, pouring all the adoration he felt for you into it. The small room was already hot, but the intensity behind his kiss was making it even more so, feeling the sweat beading on the back of your neck. You flicked your tongue against his lips, and you felt him smile, opening his mouth to grant you access.

You slipped your tongue partially into his mouth, pulling a low groan from Joel's throat as his grip on your jaw tightened. His other hand flattened against the desk behind you, pushing you back and causing you to lift your hips so you could sit on the desktop. Joel took another step forward, pushing your knees apart so he could stand between your dangling legs while his tongue licked at the inside of your mouth.

You gasped and tipped your head back, breaking the kiss to catch your breath. He kept his hand firmly on your cheek as his mouth made its way down your jaw before latching onto your pulse point, sucking the skin there and leaving a mark.

"What if I said I also grew some lavender for you?" you whispered with your eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of his mouth on your skin. He growled against your throat.

"Then I'd say I don't deserve you, and I owe you one," he said as he made his way slowly down to your collarbone.

"Hmm, just one?" you asked breathlessly, rolling your head to the side, and he chuckled.

"As many as you want, sweetheart," he tugged at the collar of your shirt, exposing your shoulder. "Anything you want, I'll give it to you."

You opened your mouth to say all you wanted was him when a loud gasp interrupted you, your eyes snapping open to find Carrie at the doorway, her hand cupped over her mouth, stifling a giggle.

You pushed on Joel's shoulder, causing him to look up at you and follow your gaze.

"Oh, shit, sorry," Joel muttered, stepping away as he ran a hand through his hair.

"That's ok, I'd say we're even now," Carrie said, giving you a wink as Joel picked up the tea he had dropped on the desk behind you. Carrie moved to the side so Joel could exit the office.

"I'll see you tonight," he said, giving you a smirk before heading down the aisle of plants towards the door.

"Looks like you two finally worked things out," Carrie said, raising an eyebrow as she pulled the chair out from the corner of the room to take a seat, looking up at you still perched on the desk.

"Yeah," you said shyly, trying to keep the blush from spreading across your cheeks. "We've been taking it slow."

"That didn't look too slow to me," she teased, and you rolled your eyes, sliding down from the desk to pull on a pair of gloves.

"Come on, let's get going. I don't want to work late tonight, and we have a ton to do," you said, playfully kicking her chair.

"Right, the party. Should be fun!" she said, standing up to follow you over to the vegetables that needed to be harvested and delivered for the party that night.

"Alright, how do I look?" Maria asked as she stepped out of the bathroom. She was wearing a black knee length wrapped skirt with a red V-neck sleeveless blouse. She had just put the finishing touches on her makeup, deciding at the last minute to go with a red lip.

"Amazing!" you said excitedly after you popped your head out into the hallway from your bedroom. "I love red on you, it's definitely your color." She grinned and waved you off, embarrassed at your compliment.

"Are you ready?" she asked as she made her way down the hallway towards your door, fixing an earring as she walked.

"Pretty much," you said, taking one last look in the mirror. You couldn't remember the last time you wore a dress. You used to wear one almost every day at work, but you had been living in jeans for so long that putting the soft, light pink material on felt foreign.

You spun around and looked over your shoulder at the mirror, checking out the back of the dress, which plunged lower than you had expected. Maria gave you a low whistle from the door.

"You're gonna be cold tonight, but damn, it'll be worth it," she said, giving you a grin. "You look incredible." You laughed, thanking her and holding up a light sweater.

"That won't help your legs, but it's better than nothing. C'mon, they should be here any minute," Maria said, turning on her heel, heading into the kitchen. You draped the sweater over your arms and bent down to zip up the booties you had found when you heard a knock on the front door.

You quickly checked what little makeup you had on in the mirror as you heard Maria greet Tommy and Joel, calling out your name and telling you to hurry up. You flicked off the light and hurried into the kitchen.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming, hold your horses," you said as you walked into the room, your eyes immediately finding Joel. He was wearing a white thermal shirt tucked into a dark pair of jeans you didn't recognize, with a black untucked dress shirt left unbuttoned over the top.

"Hey," you said with a smile, leaning up to give him a quick peck on the cheek. You could feel how tense his muscles were when you rested your hand on his arm for balance. You leaned back and looked him in the eye, noticing his dark gaze.

"Are you alright?" you murmured to him as Maria fixed Tommy's collar, chatting quietly amongst themselves. "Don't be nervous, it will be fine."

"Not nervous," he said lowly, his eyes raking up and down your body. When you realized you mistook his lust for anxiety, you grinned.

"I wanted to look good for you," you said quietly, your eyes briefly checking in on Tommy and Maria to make sure they couldn't hear you.

"You look so fuckin' beautiful, sweetheart. Fuck, that dress is somethin' else," Joel rambled as his eyes darted all over your body.

"So much for those manners," you teased, but he ignored your joke, pinning you with a dark stare. "You don't look so bad yourself, you know."

He swallowed roughly as he took your dress in one more time, his eyes filled with need.

"You two ready?" Tommy asked, giving you a smile.

"Yep!" you said, grabbing Joel's hand and giving him a tug. "Come on," you urged, looking at him over your shoulder as you followed Tommy and Maria out the front door.

"Lead the way," he murmured, staring at your ass before falling in line next to you on the street.

It was beginning to get a little cold, but Joel's arm around you kept you warm as you made your way to the Tipsy Bison. You figured you would be inside most of the night, anyway, so hopefully the temperature wouldn't be a concern. Maria was chatting about what Seth was serving, the decorations made by the kids in town, and she made sure she had Joel's attention when she mentioned the ribbon cutting ceremony.

"Nah, you can do all that," Joel told her over the top of your head.

"Oh come on, Joel, we wouldn't have been able to do this without you!" Maria pleaded.

"Sure you woulda. You did the first wall before me," he pointed out, and she waved him off.

"Yeah, but it took us forever. You made this happen so much faster, and the town's grateful, Joel," Tommy added. "Just cut the damn ribbon and smile."

Joel grunted as he made his way up the steps to the bar, holding the door open for everyone, then slipped inside, wrapping his arm around your waist as he led you up to the bar.

Maria ended up abandoning you as she mingled with the rest of the town, dragging Tommy along with her. You hummed along to a familiar song blaring from the speakers while Joel ordered you both drinks. His finger traced an invisible pattern on the top of your hand, getting your attention so he could nudge the cold glass of vodka toward you. You picked it up, raising it in the air to clink against his whiskey.

"To Joel Miller, contactor extraordinaire," you said over the music, sipping from your drink. He smiled as he swallowed down a big gulp of his whiskey.

"You sure you're alright?" you asked him, not wanting to dampen the mood, but he seemed nervous.

"Yeah, I'm good," he assured you. His eyes traveled down to your dress, then back up to your face, realizing the perfect deflection was standing right in front of him. "You got me riled up again, is all. Gonna be a long night of tryin' to keep my hands to myself." You took another sip of your drink and leaned forward, closer to his ear.

"What if I didn't want you to keep your hands to yourself?"

He groaned, his hand coming up to rest on your waist.

"You heard 'em, I gotta cut the goddamn ribbon," he muttered as he stared down at you, his brown eyes darkening.

"Hm, that's true. Can't disappoint the town," you said, leaning back a bit to sip on your drink and glance around the room. You smiled as kids ran around playing tag, weaving through the throngs of people in the middle of the room where tables had been pushed to the side so there was room to dance. You spotted Maria across the room talking to an older couple, holding some papers and a marker in her hands, while Tommy stood dutifully beside her, looking bored.

"Ha, poor Tommy. Bet he can't wait til all the schmoozing is over so they can have a little fun," you said with a laugh. You looked back up to Joel and your smile slipped from your face. He hadn't looked away from you once while you had been people watching. His expression was serious, and it was clear something was weighing heavily on his mind.

"Alright, out with it, what's going on with you?" you pushed him with a frown. "I can tell something is wrong."

Just then, a slow song picked up over the speakers, and all the bodies surrounding you that were once loud and jovial turned quieter as people began to pair off to dance.

"Dance with me?" Joel asked, ignoring your question and holding his hand out. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, knowing full well he was trying to distract you, but you gave in anyway, putting your drink on the bar and taking his hand. He led you out to the middle of the room and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close as he held your other hand gently to the side. You brought your free hand up to rest on his shoulder as you gazed up at him, taking a moment to appreciate how handsome he was in that moment, the string lights hanging above the bar illuminating his chiseled jaw and his perfect, crooked nose.

"You're right, you know," he said, looking down at you. "Somethin' is botherin' me."

You frowned, waiting for him to continue.

"These past few months gave me a lot of time to think 'bout what I did," he began, and you wondered why on earth he was bringing that up now. "And I didn't tell you this before 'cause you were goin' through your own stuff, and that was way more important."

He could feel your body slow down in his arms, but he encouraged you to keep dancing.

"But I was talkin' with Tommy, and I think maybe I got some kind of... PTSD from what happened to you in Kansas City. He said soliders he knew in the miliary got it all the time, said what I was feelin' sounded a lot like that." He avoided your gaze as he spoke, embarrassment creeping up, but he took a deep breath and pushed on.

"Anyway, it's no excuse for what I did to Jake that night, but I wanted to tell you. Maybe help you understand what was goin' through my head. I was just so fuckin' terrified of that happenin' to you again that I just saw red." He finally let himself look at you, your eyes glassy with unshed tears.

"Oh, Joel," you whispered, dropping your hand from his shoulder to wrap around his waist, pulling him tight against you as you rested your head on his chest. "I'm so sorry, I never even thought -"

"Shh, don't be sorry," he said, his lips pressed against the top of your head. "Nothin' to be sorry for. I didn't even realize it til recently. And I'm workin' on it, I swear."

"Can I do anything to help?" you asked, pulling back to look up at his face again.

"You already do help. Every day. Just by bein' you," he said, squeezing your hand. "Promise. I'm alright. I just wanted to explain myself."

You nodded and squeezed your eyes shut, resting your head against his chest again.

"Thank you for telling me," you said. "I'll help you work through it, just like you helped me."

"Thanks, sweetheart," he said, giving you a kiss on the top of your head as the song ended. He brushed his thumb along your jaw, tilting your head up to look at him. "Now, let's have a fun night, ok?"

You nodded, giving him a small smile as he led you back to your waiting drinks at the bar.

Joel had just ordered you both your second round when Maria turned the music off to get everyone's attention.

"Hope everyone's having a good time tonight!" Maria shouted, which was followed by a chorus of cheers.

"I figured before you all got too drunk, we should get to the main event of the evening," she said, a chuckle rippling through the crowd. "I've got everyone's house assignments right here, but if you all want to head outside first, the kids made a very impressive ribbon for us to cut to mark the special occasion."

Maria gestured toward the door and people began to slowly file out. You dragged Joel behind you, feeling his hesitancy with each step. You tightened your sweater around your shoulders once the cool night air hit you. Joel's arm came up to wrap around you, keeping you warm.

"Maria was right," you muttered to him as you found a spot in the crowd, waiting for her to continue. "This dress is too short." He groaned.

"Don't talk about that right now, I'm about to walk up there in front of everyone," he warned, shifting his weight and keeping his eyes trained straight ahead. You giggled and leaned into his arm.

"Sorry," you whispered.

Once Maria quieted down the crowd, she gave a brief speech about Jackson and how proud she was of the community.

"Every single person in this town had a hand in building what we have here today: a safe, quaint place to live in peace and harmony. And when I say "building", I mean it quite literally when I'm referring to Joel Miller."

Maria reached out an arm towards Joel as he gave a shy wave. The town turned to applaud him, and his grip on your shoulder tightened a fraction.

"Without Joel's help, we wouldn't be looking at expanding to this neighborhood as quickly as we are tonight. Which is why I asked him to come up to cut the ribbon and help usher in a new era for Jackson."

"Go on," you said, giving him a small shove forward as the town smiled and clapped for him. He made his way to the front of the crowd, a few of the men patting him on the back as he went. You watched with your arms wrapped around your body as Joel picked up the gardening shears. He turned to face the town, the shears open and hovering over the ribbon.

"Welcome home," he said, his eyes finding yours. With a smile, he snapped the shears and the ribbon fell, followed by a cheer from the crowd.

"A man of few words," you murmured against his mouth when he made his way back to you, planting a quick kiss to your lips. He shrugged off the black dress shirt he was wearing over his thermal and wrapped it around your shoulders.

"C'mon, I got somethin' to show you," he said, pulling you away from the crowd surrounding Maria, who was giving out house numbers to people waiting in line.

"You know, I've never even explored this part of town before. It's huge," you said, your eyes taking in the wall surrounding the new street. A few families had made their way down already, entering their new homes with squeals of excitement.

"Yeah, hopin' I won't have to build another damn wall for a while," he said, tugging gently on your hand as he rounded a corner.

"Well, wait a minute, I wanted to see the rest of the street first," you protested, looking behind you. But then Joel came to an abrupt stop, making you stumble. You gave him a confused look and followed his gaze, your jaw dropping.

You blinked rapidly a few times, wondering if what you were seeing was real. There before you stood a white two-story house with a wraparound porch, a red door and blue shutters.

The style of the house was different, of course, but you instantly made the connection to the house you stayed at in Hidden Springs. You let your hand slowly drop from his grip as you stared, slack jawed, at the house, taking in every little feature as you stood stock-still on the street.

Joel watched you nervously, his heart thudding in his chest, waiting for your reaction. When a few minutes went by without you saying anything, he cleared his throat.

"It's yours," he said, and you finally turned your head to face him, your expression unreadable. His gaze darted nervously between your eyes, and he swallowed.

"What do you think?"

You looked back at the house to make sure it was still there, like you couldn't believe your eyes.

"Did you... build this porch?" you asked softly.

"Yeah. Well, that part and over there where it wraps around." He nervously rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes never leaving you.

"Wow," you whispered, shaking your head.

"C'mon, sweetheart, talk to me," he begged, and you dragged your eyes away from the house once more to look at him.

"I love it," you said simply, tears welling in your eyes now as relief washed over him. "I can't believe... it looks so much like the other one," you said, a tear falling down your cheek.

"Well, I made you a promise, and I know how much you wanted to stay in that house," he reached out a hand to brush your tear away with his thumb. Your hand came up to cover his against your face as you looked up into his eyes. You were so overwhelmed with happiness that the tears began to flow steady now.

"This is our home, Joel," you told him tearfully. He smiled, still wiping the tears from your cheeks.

"'Our'?" he repeated hopefully. You nodded, and he leaned down to press a kiss against your lips, his hand sliding back from your cheek, getting tangled in your hair before he pulled away.

"C'mon, I'll show you inside," he said, his hand falling to grasp yours as he led you up the porch steps, your head swiveling around as you walked so you could take in every detail up close.

Joel walked you through the house, pointing out the changes he made as he went, explaining how he knocked out a wall to open up the kitchen and let in more light. You watched him while he spoke, his eyes sparkled with excitement and pride. You could tell he had given this house a lot of thought and time, and it finally occurred to you what was making him so nervous this week. Looking around, you wondered how he could ever think you wouldn't love this place.

He was in the middle of explaining an idea he had to make the pantry bigger when you cut him off.

"Why don't you show me upstairs?" you asked, squeezing his hand as you took a step backwards.

"Sure, okay," he said, his eyebrows raised as you led him to the stairs. Once you got to the top, you turned to him expectantly, and he cleared his throat.

"Well, this house isn't as big as the other one, but you still got an extra room at the end of the hall," he pointed towards a door down on the left. "And this is the master," he said, pushing open the door behind you that was left ajar. He led you inside and flicked the light on by the bed.

"You got a bathroom and a decent sized closet. Again, not as big, but if you need the extra space, maybe you can use the spare bedroom."

"We," you said, correcting him. He nodded slowly, his gaze dropping from your eyes to your mouth.

"We," he confirmed, finally taking a step forward and grabbing your face in both hands, hungrily devouring your mouth with his while your hands raked up his back, pulling him closer. You could feel the desperation and heat rolling off him as his tongue swirled around yours, walking you backwards towards the bed. He pushed his shirt from your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor before breaking the kiss. You sat on the mattress and crawled backwards up the bed, your eyes never leaving his while he watched you, his lips parted.

"C'mere," you said impatiently, your head resting on the pillow.

"Just takin' a minute," he said, his eyes dark as he swallowed roughly. "Been waitin' a long time for this."

You sat up and reached behind you, tugging at the zipper of the dress, but he stopped you.

"Leave it on," he said gruffly, finally leaning forward and crawling up the bed, pushing you back down with his body. His mouth latched onto your neck as his hand slid up your thigh, under your dress, and squeezed at the meaty part of your hip. You moaned softly under him, your hands coming up to rake through his hair.

"Joel," you whimpered, lifting your hips up greedily towards him. He seemed to understand since he hooked his fingers around your underwear, giving them a quick yank. He pulled them from your ankles and dangled them between you, shaking his head.

"You might've ruined these pretty little panties of yours," he murmured, showing you the soaked fabric before he shoved them in the back pocket of his jeans. All you could manage to do was watch him with half closed eyes, your chest heaving as you waited for his touch.

He ran both hands up your legs, resting them temporarily on the inside of your thighs before flattening your legs with his palms, exposing your aching center to the cool air. You gripped the pillow behind your head when he ran his thumb up the length of your seam, drawing out a low moan from your throat.

"Shit," he hissed when he felt the pool of arousal waiting for him. He ran his thumb down again, dipping inside briefly to collect some of the wetness there, then dragged it up to your swollen clit, circling slowly, his open palm pressed against your thigh.

You slid your eyes closed and rolled your head to the side with a sigh while his thumb continued its pace. You yearned for his hands for so long that even the smallest touch was setting your nerves on fire.

He watched your face closely, reading the cues he had come to know so well.

You let out a frustrated whine and arched your back, your eyes opening to lock onto his.

"I know, sweetheart, I got you," he said lowly, turning his hand so he could push a finger inside you while his thumb remained pressed on your clit. He always knew exactly what you needed with every sound you made and every thrust of your hips. You cursed and tipped your head back as he pumped his finger inside a few times before adding a second. You rewarded him with a delicious gasp, your hips rocking against his hand. He smirked, his free hand grasping the side of your hip, helping you move against him.

"That's it, c'mon," he said, his gaze dark and transfixed on your face as he watched you come undone. Your breaths were becoming ragged, your jaw slack. He could tell you were close. He pumped his fingers faster, burying them all the way to his knuckles, and applied a firmer pressure to your clit, wiggling his thumb back and forth now in lieu of circles.

"Fuck! Joel, please," you cried out, your eyes squeezed shut as you gasped for air.

"Look at me," he grunted, still rocking your hip up and down on his hand. Your eyes flew open and locked onto him, his pupils blown wide with lust as he watched you.

"That's right, eyes on me," he panted. He saw the flush creeping up your chest and neck as you bit down on your lip. "No need to be shy, now. It's just us."

He curled his fingers inside you and your jaw dropped back open, but your eyes remained on him. He felt your muscles tighten around his fingers and the corners of his mouth twitched.

"Let go for me," he told you, his pace relentless, and you moaned. "C'mon, I know you're close, aren't you? Fuck, been wantin' to do this since the moment I saw you in this little dress. Come all over my fingers, then I'm gonna make you come again on my cock, d’you understand?"

"Fuck, Joel, ohmygod!" you cried, his words doing you in as your walls clamped down around his fingers and your back arched off the bed. He loosened his grasp on your hip, rubbing the skin there gently to make sure he didn't hurt you as his fingers and thumb slowed down.

"Good girl," he murmured, removing his thumb from your clit before you became overly sensitive, but he gave you a few more slow thrusts with his fingers before sliding them out.  You watched lazily as he popped his fingers in his mouth, cleaning them off before he leaned down to slip his tongue inside your mouth to give you a taste.

"Take this off now," he commanded, pulling gently at the top of your dress. You immediately sat up and fumbled with the zipper, his strong hand sliding down your exposed back to help pull it down. You shrugged the top of the dress down, exposing your naked chest, and lifted your hips so he could pull it down your legs. He kneeled next to you on the bed, panting, as he took in your naked form.

"Your turn," you told him, yanking at the waistband of his jeans. He blinked, then untucked his thermal shirt before lifting it over his head and tossing it on the floor. He quickly unbuckled his belt, his eyes never leaving your body, and pushed his jeans and boxers off, crawling back between your legs and hovering over you.

"Tell me what you want," he whispered, nipping at your jaw while he slowly thrusted his hips, dragging his leaking cock over your stomach, desperate to feel your skin.

"I want you, Joel," you whimpered. You felt him smile, then his face dipped lower, leaving a trail of kisses down your neck and chest until he reached your nipple, sucking it into his mouth. You gasped, arching your back to push your breasts into him further while his hand pinched your other nipple. You felt his teeth graze your skin gently before he released, moving over to give the other one the same attention.

"Joel," you gasped, squirming underneath him. He ignored you, still lavishing attention on your tits, so you tried a different approach.

"Baby, please, I want you to fuck me," you murmured. The combination of your pet name for him and your request made him growl, his mouth abandoning your chest. His hand gripped your jaw, holding your mouth open as his tongue darted inside your mouth hungrily, playfully biting your lower lip when he pulled away and released your jaw.

"Since you asked so nicely," he said, running his nose alongside yours affectionately as he reached down between you both, lining the tip of his cock up with your entrance, then brought his arm back up to rest next to your head.

"You alright?" he asked softly as he felt your body tense in anticipation, searching your eyes while tracing a finger down your cheek. You nodded, bringing your hands up to wrap around each of his shoulders, spreading your legs wider.

He lightly brushed his lips against yours as he slowly pressed himself inside you. You exhaled harshly at the sensation, enjoying the slight sting as he kept pushing his cock into you. He released a strangled groan once he bottomed out, dropping his forehead against your shoulder and squeezing his eyes shut.

"Oh, fuck, I missed that," he gasped against your skin, and you hummed in response, rotating your hips a bit as you adjusted to his size.

"Me too," you whispered as you felt yourself relax around him. He took a breath, then began to rock his hips gently, languidly dragging his cock in and out of you while he peppered small kisses along your collarbone. You tilted your head to the side to give him better access, your eyes sliding shut, focusing on how perfectly he fit inside you.

"Tell me how it feels," he mumbled against your neck, his hips keeping their slow, gentle pace.

"Good," you told him. "You always feel so good," you sighed, a lazy smirk spilling across his face.

"You know you won't break me, right?" you teased, and he shook his head.

"I know, just not in any rush. Wanna take my time, wanna feel you," he said with a groan, then slowed to a stop. He pushed himself up by his hands, hovering over you, a layer of sweat already coating his chest and neck.

You let out a pathetic whine at the loss of contact, staring up at him with a confused look.

He didn't say a word, just stared deep into your eyes for a moment before snapping his hips once into you, making you squeak.

"You want it like that?" he asked you, snapping his hips again, eliciting the same response. Your hands gripped the sheets as he looked down at you, his eyes dark. He did it a third time, leaving you panting as you stared up at him.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, I know what you like," he said softly, his hands traveling to your sides as he shifted his weight to his knees. He rolled his hips against you roughly, pulling your own hips into him. You let out an appreciative groan and your eyes fluttered shut once his coarse hair made contact with your clit.

"There we go," he said, watching your reaction as he continued. "How's that? This what you need?"

"Yes," you gasped, his grip on you tightening. "Fuck, yes, Joel," you moaned, tipping your head back as he picked up the pace, still rolling his hips perfectly into you.

"You're so fuckin' beautiful like this," he grunted. "Always take my cock so well."

You moaned at the praise, goosebumps prickling your skin as you felt your second orgasm building.

"More," you whimpered, looking back up at him now. His neck was red and splotchy, and his eyes burned with desire.

"More what, sweetheart?" he croaked, still rolling himself in and out of you at the same steady pace. "Use your words, tell me."

"Deeper," you gasped. "I want your cock deeper and faster. Please."

At hearing your words, he groaned, falling forward on his hands again but quickly hooked his fingers under one of your knees and pressed it as far back against your chest as he could.

He leaned forward, sinking himself impossibly deeper into you, making you cry out from the intense angle.

"How's that feel?" he asked again, thrusting into you much faster now.

"Full," you choked out, barely able to string a sentence together. "So full, don't stop, please don't stop."

"Wouldn't dream of it," he told you, panting for air as he kept up the brutal pace. He leaned down further to scrape his teeth against your jaw before planting a bruising kiss on your lips, muffling your sounds.

He felt your walls clenching around him, his groan lost in the sea of your cries as you babbled his name mixed with curses. Your hands came up to his arms and you dug your fingers into his muscles.

"Joel," you whined, your eyes flicking to his, trying to silently communicate what you needed.

"I got you," he said. He withheld his usual demand to 'use your words', and instead brought his hand between your bodies. He found your clit, pressing quick, firm circles as he watched your face closely. When he saw your eyebrows pinch together, he switched from circles to rubbing his finger back and forth on your bundle of nerves, drawing out another orgasm from you almost instantly.

"That's it, that's my girl. Fuck, you're so pretty when you come. Look at you, so perfect."

"Joel!" You wailed, arching your back. Your nails most certainly leaving marks on his arms as you dug them in harder, gasping for breath as you came back down to earth. His hand slowed before he removed it entirely, placing it back down on the bed next to you.

"You feel so good, comin' on my cock like that," he gritted out, your mind hazy as he chased his release.

He had pushed your knee back so your leg was straight, so you wrapped both your legs around his waist, pulling him into you as close as you could.

"You always make me feel so good, baby," you murmured, your hands reaching up to his hair. His thrusts were becoming sloppy as you gently scraped your nails against his scalp, making him whimper.

"No one's ever made me feel this good, did you know that?" you asked, bringing him to the edge with your voice. He shook his head, then let his forehead drop to your shoulder as his hips began to stutter. Your cunt was growing sore now from the overstimulation, but you ignored it.

"I've never felt this way about anybody before," you continued, whispering into his ear, and he bit down gently on your neck.

"Give it to me," you said, louder now. "Come for me, Joel."

A deep groan rumbled from his chest, and as if he was waiting for your permission, quickly pulled out, spilling his warm spend all over your stomach.

"Oh, fuck," he gasped, his features slack as he watched the last of his cum shoot out across your skin. He looked up at you, both panting for air and covered in sweat.

"Fuck," he repeated, leaning back and running a hand through his hair, eyes drifting to your stomach again.

He resisted the urge to collapse next to you, afraid if he did, he would never get back up. Instead, he pushed himself off the bed and into the bathroom. Your head rolled lazily to the side as you watched him fumble around in the linen closet to find a washcloth, dampening it at the sink before returning to you.

He leaned over the side of the bed and gently cleaned you up, then used the washcloth on himself before tossing it over the side of the tub and coming back to bed, flopping down naked next to you.

"I don't have any of my things here," you said, staring at the ceiling.

"I'll get your stuff in the mornin'," he said hoarsely, draping an arm around your waist and pulling you into him. "You ain't goin' anywhere tonight."

You giggled as you pulled at the sheets, tossing them haphazardly over you both before leaning back into his embrace.

When you woke the next morning, the first thing you thought of was warm. You were so unbelievably warm, Joel's body like a furnace against you, never letting you go throughout the night. You could feel his deep breaths against your neck, telling you he was still fast asleep. Your eyes flickered to the window, trying to judge the time based on how light it was outside. You figured it was pretty early. Unfortunately, the urge to pee was not allowing you to stay tucked into bed much longer, so you slowly and carefully extracted yourself from Joel's arms, shoving your pillow next to him instead, then tiptoed to the bathroom, scooping up his boxers and black dress shirt along the way.

The second thought that hit you once you stood was sore. Deliciously sore from last night. And when you stood in front of the mirror to button up Joel's shirt, you noticed bite marks left all over your shoulder and collarbone, the sight making you bite down on your lip. You didn't want to admit it, but there was something undeniably sexy about the way he left his mark on you.

You cracked the bathroom door open and peered out, finding Joel exactly where you left him. You were too awake and too excited to finally be in your own house, so you slipped out the bedroom door and headed downstairs.

You wandered aimlessly around your kitchen, opening the mostly empty cupboards and drawers until you found a lone can of ground coffee stored right above the coffee maker. You pulled the can down and scooped the grounds into the filter, filling up the reservoir with water and hitting the button to brew. In the pantry you found an old sleeve of disposable paper cups, so you grabbed two and set them on the counter.

As you waited for the coffee to finish, you looked around the living room, reading a few titles of books left behind on bookshelves before leaning against the window frame, looking out onto the quiet street. You smiled when you noticed the swing at the end of the porch, and at the same time you heard the coffee finish brewing.

You poured a cup of coffee and then snatched a blanket from the back of the couch as you headed out the front door, quietly closing it behind you. You shivered at the cool morning air; your legs still bare. You sat down on the wooden swing and draped the soft blanket over you, holding the coffee in your hands to help warm you up.

The street was quiet, the town most likely all recovering from the night before. You took a few sips of coffee, wincing when it burned your tongue. It only took about fifteen minutes before you saw movement through the living room window. Joel stepped out of the front door and rounded the corner in his jeans and thermal from the night before, holding his own cup of coffee.

"May I join you?" he asked with a grin, which you returned, and scooted down on the swing to make room.

He slung his arm over the back of the swing, and you leaned against his chest, breathing in his scent mixed with the early morning dew.

"What are you thinkin' about?" he asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"I was just thinking about this one time in the woods, after we had to leave the other house, we sat against a tree just like this drinking coffee. Do you remember?"

"The day we first said 'I love you'," he said immediately, and your eyes shot up to his in surprise. "What? I remember things," he said defensively, and you laughed.

"Well, I remember wishing we were on the porch at the old house drinking coffee instead of in the middle of the woods, fighting for our lives," you told him, his hand moving from the back of the swing to squeeze your shoulder.

"And now?" he asked you, his eyes sparkling.

"And now you've made that wish come true," you said, gazing at him adoringly.

"Thank you," you whispered, nuzzling your face against his chest. He rubbed your arm affectionately and sipped his coffee.

"Anythin' for you, sweetheart," he said, leaning back into the swing as he watched a few people slowly begin to emerge from their houses and trudge down the street.

Contentment washed over you as he held you against him on the porch he built for you, in the town he fought like hell to get you to, and living the life he promised you as you watched the sun rise together, welcoming the next phase of your lives.

Epilogue

Tag List: @chiogarza, @sparklejumpropequeen-777, @shotgun-shelby @partyofone3413 @nana90azevedo @ninaminaromina

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read, like, reblog, comment, follow .... basically anything! It makes me so happy that anyone even took a chance to read this, I started this story thinking it was just going to be for me to read, and I am beyond happy so many of you like it, as well. I really hope I did these characters justice for you! And I do plan on writing a little Epilogue (hint: Yellowstone) and some one-shots in the future!

Again, thank you so much!

[follow-up-news]

A federal appeals court has allowed the U.S. Education Department to move ahead with a plan to lower monthly payments for millions of student loan borrowers, putting on hold a ruling last week by a lower court. The ruling from the 10th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals puts back on track a central part of President Joe Biden’s efforts to address student debt — a rule that lowers from 10% of discretionary income to 5% the amount that some borrowers qualifying for a repayment plan need to pay. The reduced payment threshold was set to take effect July 1, but federal judges in Kansas and Missouri last week blocked much of the administration’s student loan repayment plan in two separate rulings. The ruling on Sunday means the department can move ahead with the reduced payments already calculated while it pursues an appeal. The rulings have created a difficult environment for borrowers to navigate, said Persis Yu, deputy executive director of the Student Borrower Protection Center, which advocates for eliminating student debt. The stay granted by the 10th Circuit is temporary, Yu said, leaving many borrowers in the dark about future financial obligations.

[elrincondelfanatico]

🎙️⚾🎾🏎️🏈 ERdF 558: Ohtani vs Judge, Cy Youngs y la Semana 3 de la NFL 🌟

¡Bienvenidos a otro emocionante episodio de El Rincón del Fanático! Hoy cubrimos desde el final de la temporada de MLB, hasta la situación actual en la F1 y la NFL. ¡No te pierdas nuestra trivia y debates llenos de pasión deportiva!

Desglose del Episodio:

01:00 ⚾ MLB: La temporada regular está por terminar el 29 de septiembre. Discutimos el declive de Texas tras ganar la Serie Mundial el año pasado, y cómo equipos sorpresa como Detroit buscan colarse como comodines. Hacemos un paneo de las ligas Americana y Nacional y analizamos cómo quedarían los equipos en distintos escenarios. Hablamos del récord de Shohei Ohtani con 50+ HR y 50+ bases robadas, y debatimos quién es mejor: ¿Aaron Judge o Shohei Ohtani? Además, discutimos los pitchers favoritos para ganar el Cy Young y por qué Paul Skenes no puede serlo. Cerramos con una cápsula y trivia.

40:57 🎾 Tenis: Hablamos de la Laver Cup, donde se enfrentan jugadores europeos contra el resto del mundo.

45:17 🏎️ F1: Resultados del GP de Singapur y análisis de cómo van los pilotos y las escuderías.

54:50 🏈 NFL: Brett Favre ha revelado que tiene Parkinson, recordamos a uno de los mejores QB de nuestra generación. Discutimos sobre jugadores que se retiraron jóvenes por problemas de salud, lo que sucedió en la semana 3, nuestra opinión sobre los Steelers y los equipos que aún están invictos. Hablamos del supuesto favoritismo arbitral hacia Kansas City y lo que esperamos para la semana 4. ¡No te pierdas nuestra trivia!

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¡Gracias por acompañarnos en nuestra cobertura de lo mejor del mundo deportivo!

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Jill Filipovic at Slate:

Should the very state of being pregnant place women in a subclass of citizen, vulnerable to criminal prosecution or civil penalties for behavior that would be perfectly legal from a nonpregnant person? Judging by their proposed legislation and various legal antics, the anti-abortion movement says: Yes. Pregnant women simply should not have the same rights as any other U.S. citizen. Take, for example, efforts to criminalize the crossing of state lines for abortion. There is a very, very long tradition in the U.S. of allowing people to travel out of state to access medical care, and it’s so deeply ingrained we barely think about it. Consider, for example, the businesswoman who lives in New Jersey but works in New York City and so goes to the dentist in midtown Manhattan, or the dad who lives on the Kansas side of Kansas City but takes his sick kid to a specialist at a hospital on the Missouri side. A great many Americans don’t think twice about crossing state lines for health care. Abortion opponents are trying to change that for one group of people: pregnant women.

Conservative legal groups are already drafting model legislation to prevent pregnant women from traveling for abortions by legally penalizing anyone who helps them, a strategy used by the state of Texas in one of its abortion bans, which allows anyone in the U.S. to sue those who assist women with abortions—and be rewarded with a bounty paid by the state. The architect of that Texas abortion bounty law was Jonathan Mitchell, an anti-abortion activist (and Donald Trump lawyer) who is currently representing a Texas man in his quest to probe into his ex-girlfriend’s abortion, which she allegedly sought outside of their home state. Mitchell filed a petition to learn the details of this woman’s abortion for, he says, a potential future lawsuit. But to be clear, the woman in question did absolutely nothing illegal: Traveling out of state for health care, including abortion, is not against the law in Texas or anywhere else. It’s just that Mitchell and other abortion opponents would like to change that—and are apparently happy to represent controlling (and, in another case Mitchell took on, allegedly abusive) men to do it.

They’re also happy to reclassify pregnant women as a kind of sub-citizen who, by simple virtue of their pregnancy status, are not entitled to the same legal freedoms and protections as anyone else. A Texas woman who goes to a Colorado abortion clinic is being treated differently from any nonpregnant person who travels for a medical procedure—and you can bet that this categorization of pregnant people as suspect, should they travel out of state, will lead to all sorts of investigations and abuses.

Take this hypothetical: Say the anti-abortion movement succeeds and makes it a crime to travel out of state for an abortion. Say a woman in Idaho (where abortion laws are so extreme, they have no exceptions for saving a woman’s health) travels to Washington state, where abortion is legal, and gets her hands on abortion-inducing drugs. Say she’s not pregnant. Say she takes the drugs anyway. Has she committed a crime? Or, to use a more likely legal model, say Texas makes it a crime to help a woman travel for an abortion, and a Texas woman goes to Colorado, gets abortion-inducing drugs, and takes them, despite not being pregnant. Is the friend who helped buy her plane ticket still liable? Presumably not: No pregnancy means no abortion, which means no violation of an abortion ban. But if the two women in these scenarios had been pregnant, the legal calculus would be entirely different.

Or to use a perhaps more realistic scenario: Mifepristone, an abortion-inducing drug, is also commonly used to treat Cushing’s syndrome, and researchers say it has tremendous potential to treat other illnesses, too, from various cancers to PTSD. Under an anti-abortion legal scheme, if a Texas woman with Cushing’s syndrome travels out of state, gets mifepristone, and takes it, she (or those who help her) would face potential legal consequences only if she’s pregnant. It’s her status as a pregnant woman—not the act of traveling or even taking an abortion-inducing drug—that is the problem. And generally, the law frowns on making a person’s status—rather than their actions—the basis of a crime or a lawsuit. That’s part of treating all people equally under the law, and offering all people the equal protection of it.

Preventing pregnant women from crossing into a state for a legal medical procedure isn’t the only way in which the anti-abortion movement is attempting to curtail basic rights and protections for anyone carrying a pregnancy. Earlier this year, abortion opponents argued before the Supreme Court that pregnant patients should be treated differently than nonpregnant ones in cases of serious medical emergencies—that doctors and other health workers should be permitted to give pregnant women a substandard level of care, and to essentially refuse to appropriately stabilize them. If a woman comes in and is very ill, she’s entitled to one standard of care; if she comes in and is very ill and pregnant, that standard of care is lower in states that criminalize abortion.

At issue in the Supreme Court case, a ruling in which is expected early this summer, is the Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act (EMTALA), a law initially written to prevent hospitals from dumping seriously ill patients who couldn’t pay. Pregnant women in particular were often coming into hospitals in labor, only to be refused care; there were stories of women birthing in hallways and cars. EMTALA says that any hospital receiving federal Medicaid dollars (which is most hospitals, both public and private) must provide lifesaving care to anyone who walks through their doors, regardless of their ability to pay. That means that hospitals have an obligation to stabilize ill patients. (If they don’t have the ability to appropriately stabilize a patient, they must move the patient to a facility that does.)

Jill Filipovic wrote in Slate the insidious trend of anti-abortion hardliners making pregnant people 2nd class citizens by enacting laws criminalizing access to out-of-state abortion services (this is also applicable to gender-affirming care).

[winchesterscorner]

[Castiel] - Here For You

♫ - Trying - Cavetown

TW: This fic deals with mental health/depression themes, if that makes you uncomfortable or upset, please skip this one! <3

Lately, you hadn't been yourself. You would never admit that, but Sam and Dean could see it from a mile away. Normally, you would be engaging, sarcastic and full of life. But at the moment, you were quiet and drawn into yourself.

"Hey, Y/N," Dean started, setting down a glass of orange juice in front of you. "Doin' okay?" 

To anyone else, it didn't seem too sincere, but you knew him well enough to know that it most certainly was. The boys cared about you as though you were their own sibling. Dean loved you, and so did Sam, and it broke Dean's heart to see you so closed off.

"Yeah, all good." Your voice was blunt, but still held a cadence that told Dean you were trying to tell him otherwise. You were fiddling with your hoodie sleeve, and passing one of your rings through your fingers as though you were anxious. Dean looked at you with a sad expression, but you didn't catch it as you carried on looking at the table.

"I don't believe you sweetheart, but I'm not gonna push you, okay? You need something, you call. We're all here for you. Me, Sam, even Cas. We've got you."

With that, he pressed a kiss to the top of your head and left you be. You took a sip of your juice, and sighed. You knew you probably should open up to them, but there was just something stopping you. This time, you didn't know what it was. Maybe it was because you knew Sam and Dean had so much on their plates, and adding your own worries on top wouldn't help. Maybe you didn't want them to worry. Whatever it was, it was getting you down more than it probably should. 

You hadn't felt like this before. Other times, you hadn't had a problem opening up; you'd cried with Dean multiple times, had Sam help you through numerous panic attacks, even gone for coffee with Castiel once or twice. Which got your mind wandering.

Castiel, the angel. You were too old to have a crush, but it was the closest thing you had to describe how you felt about him. You wouldn't dare voice it, though you were worried at certain points he probably felt it. You found something that felt right about being around him, though what it was, you were uncertain. Maybe it was his nature, how kind he was. He was always gentle with you, and understanding of your situations. He's never once judged, always offering you advice. Snapping out of it, you rubbed your eyes and finished your drink.

You stood, and grabbed your jacket. Shouting up to Dean that you were going for a walk, which he acknowledged and told you to be careful. Grabbing your jacket was the smartest thing you'd done, as it was a very cold Kansas evening.  Snow hadn't quite fallen, but the air was misty and the bite of the cold comforted you, in a weird sort of way.

Walking for a while, you happened on the park, which was fairly empty, save for a few children and their parents in the play area. You chuckled to yourself a little, sitting on the bench.

'Man, nothing stops kids, does it?' you thought, shaking your head humourously.

You sat back, savouring the warmth of your jacket against the weather, and just listening to the sounds around you. Birds chirping, children laughing, parents chattering away whilst the children played. A sense of comfort and calm hit you, for the first time in a while, and you closed your eyes. When you opened them, you nearly jumped out of your seat.

"My god, Cas!" You placed a hand on your chest. "You scared the crap out of me."

"My apologies, Y/N," he genuinely looked a little saddened. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, it's fine, don't worry. Probably shouldn't have had my eyes shut that long, anyway. You could have been anyone."

Castiel sat down next to you, and you wondered why. Cas rarely stopped by unless necessary, and only then it was usually with everyone. He never talked to just you. 

"If you're looking for Dean, he's back home reading up on some stuff, I think."

The angel shook his head. "No, I'm not looking for Dean, I'm here for you."

You furrowed your brow, not in an angry way, but in a confused way.

"Do you need something?" you inquired, assuming it was probably something case related.

"No, actually I'm here to just... talk."

This was a foreign concept, to the both of you. Cas wasn't one for small talk, and you weren't one for opening up much. So, to hear that he wasn't here to talk demons or ask about Dean was strange. In your normal mood, you wouldn't have minded. You thought the angel was cute, you just never knew how to talk to him.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Cas questioned, his voice low and concerned. 

"Did Dean send you here?" You sat up a little more, annoyed that it could be a possibility. 

He looked hurt. "No, I'm here on my own accord, I just want to help if I can."

You looked up at him, his blue eyes twinkling as he looked back. He wasn't lying. He did just want to help.

"Sorry, Cas. I really didn't mean that." You looked down, ashamed you thought such a thing of him. "I'm just having a really hard time, right now."

"I'm listening."

You really didn't want to talk, but there was something about him that made you want to all the same. Maybe it was the fact he was an angel, or perhaps that he had a different aura than everyone else. You knew Cas really well, and you had often had personal chats where it was just you and him. You cared about him, whenever he got hurt, you helped fix him back up. The opposite was true, as Cas had healed you more times than you could remember. You pondered, and gave in. There was no reason to stay silent.

"I just feel... really sad. Like, I don't know - like I don't really belong, at the minute. I don't feel great about myself, I feel like I'm annoying, that I just get in the way of Dean and Sam, I'm more of a burden than I should be. I think I get on your nerves, always wanting to be around you. Right now, I'm sick of existing. I feel like I'm in a cage, and I don't have anyone to help. But, even if I did I wouldn't know what to say..."

You trailed off, tears in your eyes but none falling. You didn't have the energy to cry.

"Well," Castiel started to speak, placing a hand on your knee. "I'm sorry you're feeling sad. You don't deserve to feel like this. You might think you're in the way, or you're annoying, but as someone who sees you on the outside, you aren't. You're a valued member of the team, and you're a great person. Sam and Dean think you're incredible, and so do I. If I'm your safe space and you want to be around me, that's fine, I'm more than happy."

His admission brought you out of your haze. "You think I'm incredible?"

Cas nodded. "I do. You're always supporting everyone, you're kind, caring. It's no wonder you're feeling the weight of the world right now. You do so much for others that you haven't been taking care of yourself enough. You might not say it, but I can sense it, you know? I just wanted you to be able to say it, so we can start healing."

"We?" Your voice was almost a whisper, those tears threatening to fall. Cas smiled at you.

"We. I'll be here for you through everything. I'm not going anywhere, Y/N. I promise I'll do anything in my power to help you. Which starts by getting you home, it's raining and cold and you don't need to get sick on top of all of this."

You giggled, and nodded. You were so caught up in Castiel's words you hadn't even noticed the rain. Your tears were falling, but you hoped with the rain he wouldn't notice. You also forgot Cas was an angel, but were swiftly reminded when he took your face in his hands.

"I know you're crying," he wiped under your eyes with his thumb. "And that's okay. It's a good relief. Promise me one thing, promise me that whenever you feel like this again, you'll try and call on me? I don't care what time it is or whatever is happening, just call. I'll sit on a park bench with you for as long as you need."

"I promise, Cas. I'll do my best."

He smiled and kissed your forehead, your face still in his hands. Without thinking, you kissed his cheek and buried your face into his chest. His arms folded around you, casing you in his warmth. You felt at peace, listening to the beat of his heart and sighed.

"Let's get you a hot drink and a change of clothes, shall we?"

Something about this felt right, and felt normal. Nothing about anything in your life was normal, but being with Castiel and walking in the rain hand in hand, knowing that you weren't alone no matter the pressure life put on you, was the best feeling you could have asked for.

You felt a weight off your shoulders, and knew that with your angel by your side, anything was possible.

A/N: Thank you for reading. This was more a project bc I'm going through it, and writing helps me heal. I hope you enjoyed, please remember you're always loved and cared for, my dm's are always open! <3

If you enjoy my content, you can buy me a coffee here :)