#kanji is a lot more useful and i should really be focusing on that

[whoareyoulookingat]

New Years Resolution: become proficient enough in Neo Assyrian cuneiform for day-to-day use

[phoenix-downer]

KH4 First Trailer

This is the first KH4-related translation post I've done (nearly two years late ;lakjsdf my how the time flies), and hopefully there will be many more to come. I'll be focusing on the dialogue and text in the trailer and not so much on the camera angles, character expressions, etc. this time around just because I want to keep the focus on the translations.

Here’s a general key for the kind of analysis I like to do:

JP: Official Japanese Dialogue

EN: Official English Dialogue

TR: My Translation (usually more literal and thus more stilted than the official English version. I’m not using natural-sounding English in order to stick as close to the Japanese versions of the lines as possible for the purpose of analysis)

Notes: things I found interesting, grammatical points, extra thoughts, etc.

One last note: media doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Every work of art must be viewed through the cultural lens of the people who made it. Kingdom Hearts, for all its ties to Disney, is still very much a Japanese game, so it should be analyzed in light of that.

With that in mind, let’s continue.

JP 自分が望む結末ではなかったと絶望するのならー

EN If this isn't the ending you desired—if it brings you despair—

TR If (this) wasn't the ending you hoped for—if (you) feel despair—

Notes: Sigurd is apparently the character saying these next few lines.

The word for "ending" here, ketsumatsu, is an interesting word choice. It is often used in the context of stories (though it also has other uses), which fits really well with how KH4 will play around with the concept of reality vs. unreality. So on a meta level it's like, "If you didn't like how KH3 ended, if you didn't like how Sora ended up, then help him escape Quadratum."

Also, the word the official English version translates as "desired," nozomu, can mean "desire, want, wish for, hope for," and it's an antonym of zetsubō, the word translated "despair." So there's this nice poetic contrast going on between hope and despair in this bit in the Japanese version.

JP 他の世界に退場すればいい

EN then leave this world for another

TR —(then you) should leave for another world.

Notes: This particular word for "leave," taijō, can be used for leaving venues, stadiums, parking lots, rooms, sports games, etc. It can also be used for actors exiting the stage. Take a look at definition #1, which translated states, "Leaving venues, stadiums etc." and #2, which translated states, "Actors etc. leaving the stage" (Source):

I thought that was really interesting, because using a word with these specific connotations makes me wonder if this is more of that meta commentary, this time about how we should direct Sora the character to leave Quadratum if we so desire. Sure, the general sense of "leave" or "exit" is the main meaning here, but I always get so intrigued by word choice and all the connotations a word has.

Also, the phrasing isn't exactly the same, but there is a euphemism in Japanese for the place your soul goes when you die, takai, that uses the same kanji as hoka no sekai that we see in "another world" here, it just uses the onyomi pronunciation instead of the kunyomi pronunciation for "another" hoka/tai and has no no particle.

Googling hoka no sekai brought up a lot of images about parallel worlds and the isekai genre, so that's probably the most accurate connotation given Sora's world traveling adventures thus far, but I still thought that was an interesting tidbit, even if it's a complete reach on my end. Like sure Sora can go to other worlds, but he's still dead, so he's still going to more places where he's dead and can't go home where he'd be fully alive.

JP 選択肢は無限にあるはずだー

EN Your options are endless.

TR (Your) options/choices should be endless/limitless—

Notes: I really like how the English version contrasts "ending" with "endless." You don't like the ending Sora got in KH3? Your options for taking him to other worlds are "endless." The Japanese version has this interesting tidbit too where the speaker conveys an expectation. He says hazu, which means "expected," "should be," "must be." So he expects Sora's options are endless, but it has a slightly different nuance than if he'd just said they are endless.

JP 心は魂に宿り　魂は運命によって在るべき場所へ導かれる

EN The heart resides within the soul which in turn is guided by fate to its rightful place

TR (The) heart dwells in (the) soul, (and the) soul is guided by fate to its rightful place (lit. the place it should be).

Notes: There's not really any difference between the official English version and my translation. It's just interesting to break it down. For whatever reason the "rightful place" of the soul has the verb of existence for inanimate objects (aru) instead of the one for animate objects (iru). Not sure if that's a set phrase or if the soul in this context would be considered an inanimate object (time to go down a rabbithole about animacy in Japanese).

This bit also kinda reminded me of how Xehanort talked in KH3 when he was recounting the cycle of light and darkness. The language has a very "mythological"/storytelling feel to me, which makes sense given whoever is saying these lines is talking about fate, destiny, the nature of the universe, etc. And then the floating text in the darkness also reminds me of the Dive into the Heart sequences with the disembodied voice as well, so it could also be a reference to that.

JP 選択は再び委ねられる

EN The choice is yours once more.

TR (The) choice is left (to you) once more./(The) choice is entrusted (to you) once more.

Notes: Once again, this bit of text seems very meta. It feels like it's addressed to the fans, given how we're the ones who will be controlling Sora in KH4. And of course the image shows his chess piece with his crown symbol on it, so the implication is that Sora's heart will be the one guiding him once more, and his heart will be guided by fate.

JP あなたはこの世界に来て7日間　ずっと眠っていたの

EN You've been asleep since you arrived in this world seven days ago.

TR You came to this world seven days ago (and you)'ve been sleeping (the) whole time.

Notes: I don't love my translation because nanokakan more literally means "a period of seven days," but yeah I think I get the gist across.

Strelitzia refers to Sora as anata here when the norm is to refer to other people by their names in Japanese, even when addressing them directly, so either she doesn't know his name yet or she's being very polite, almost distant. She also ends her declaration with no, likely to indicate she's offering more of an explanation (it also makes her sound pretty cute and feminine).

Also, as I'm going through this trailer again, I'm reminded that Sora doesn't talk at all. He has the battle grunts during his fight against the Darkside, but he doesn't have any dialogue. I just thought that was interesting, because Xehanort commented on Sora not having a voice in Melody of Memory as well. Somehow that also told Xehanort where Sora's heart is located (foreshadowing for this game I suppose). I wonder if Sora will be similarly voiceless at first in KH4 or if he just is for this trailer for dramatic effect because Nomura knows everyone wants to hear him speak.

And then of course I have to mention the significance of Sora being asleep in Quadratum for seven days. Seven has a lot of significance in the KH universe, given how there are seven guardians of light. Seven is also the length of a week, and it's a number that has connotations of wholeness and completion in certain cultures.

JP ここは クァッドラトゥムー

EN This is Quadratum—

TR (This is) Quadratum—

Notes: Not really anything to note here other than the gorgeous graphics, how Sora doesn't look at all like his usual cheerful self (no smile to be found), and the colors in Quadratum seem very warm/brown/earth tones/"real" and not super bright and colorful like in the "main" KH universe.

JP 生者の世界ではあるけれどー

EN It's a world full of life—

TR (It's) a world of living people/the living but—

Notes: Seija is translated as "full of life" in the official English version, but it more literally means "living people" or "the living." So Strelitzia is pointing out that all around them are living people and yet, for her and Sora, it's still a world of death because she and Sora should be dead.

JP 私たちにとっては“死の世界”ってことになるみたい

EN but for you and I, it's similar to an "afterworld," I suppose.

TR —for us, (it) seems like it's "a world of death."

Notes: This is where I wish the English version was closer to the Japanese version. "World of death" or "world of the dead" would've been a closer translation, and I'm not sure why it wasn't used (perhaps to avoid mentioning the dreaded "d" word). I do like the pun-like quality of "afterworld," combining "afterlife" and the oft-used-in-the-KH-universe "world," and since the translators have access to information I don't about the game's lore, I can't say whether crucial lore has been lost in translation, but I wanted to point out the difference here.

Also, the grammar pattern Strelitzia uses here, koto ni naru, indicates something that's outside of her and Sora's control. This being an afterlife of sorts for the two of them was decided by factors beyond their control, in other words. She also uses mitai to indicate her speculation/observation.

JP だがー

EN However—

TR However—

Notes: This is back to Sigurd speaking, and very ominously so.

JP 一度退場すれば元の世界に戻れると思うなー

EN if you do leave this world behind, don't expect to return to the one from which you came—

TR —once (you) leave, don't think (you) can go back to (your) original world—

Notes: This ends on a rather ominous note. Again the word taijō is used here for "leave" much like earlier in the trailer. I remember this dialogue when I first watched this trailer because it was such a wham line. What do you mean Sora can't go home? He can go to other worlds but he can't go home? What will it take to bring him home then? Something pretty drastic from the sounds of it.

Also, I like the formal wording of the official English version. Sigurd sounds like he's from a different time.

Then of course this next bit cuts to Donald and Goofy, searching for ways to find Sora presumably:

JP どこにいるんだろう？

EN I wonder where he is.

TR (I) wonder where (he) is.

Notes: Nothing really to talk about, just that the "I" and "he" is implied in Japanese (Japanese tends to drop pronouns in places they would be required in English because there's enough info provided by context, verb conjugations, etc. to figure out who the speaker is talking about).

JP 手がかり見つかるといいね

EN I don't know, but I sure hope he can help.

TR I hope (we) can find (a) clue.

Notes: A bit of a difference here, Goofy is focused more on finding a clue in Japanese whereas in English he's hoping "he" (Hades, presumably) can help.

JP おい

EN Hey!

TR Hey!

Notes: Hades' Japanese VA has a very distinctive voice, and so right from this word you know it's him a;lsdkjf and he's as snarky and blunt as ever lol.

JP どこへ行くんだ

EN Just where do you think you're going?

TR (Just) where (do you think you)'re going?

Notes: I love the sass and snark of the English translation, and it captures the vibes of the Japanese version well (Hades uses ~nda at the end of the sentence to indicate he wants more information out of them). They found Hades, but now they'll actually have to deal with Hades...

And that's what I have for now! I am curious about what promo material will be released next and what new tidbits we'll have to speculate on. Fingers crossed we get more info around the anniversary this year!

The Japanese trailer is here.

The English trailer is here.

[hetaliaimaginesin2022]

Germany italy and japan have a close friend and crush who's another country, this country likes their accent and language and go as far as to ask them to teach them the language. How do they deal with that?

I've crawled out from the crypt, I hope this is acceptable lol

Germany • Ludwig Beilschmidt

German is a very harsh and rough sounding language and accent, he's heard plenty of jokes from other countries about it, so he'd never expect that you'd find it endearing in any way

When you asked him to teach you the language, he was slightly flustered, giving you an affirming nod

Hopefully you didn't plan on using this as a chance to flirt with him, because he takes the teaching aspect very seriously, showing up with language textbooks, a notebook, and extra pencils

You really have to buckle down during each session, especially since he's a real stickler for pronunciation

He doesn't mean to be overbearing, but he believes that everyone should put their best effort into everything they do

Plus he likes the idea of you two conversing together in his mother tongue, maybe while grabbing a coffee

That being said, there are mandatory breaks in between lessons, it's important to refresh your brain to help productivity

Also, you may start to notice him dropping German in his sentences far more often than he used to, he claims it's to help, but it's really because he knows you like it

Japan • Kiku Honda

Kiku wasn't too surprised when you told him that you were interested in learning his language, his culture (or a severely watered-down version of it) has been very popular in the recent years through media, so another country wanting to learn the language wasn't all too notable

Considering it was you though, he was delighted

He loves spending time with you, so the idea of spending a few hours a week with you, teaching you about his language and script, sounds more than nice

He focuses on Kanji first, insisting that it will make speaking vocabulary a lot easier down the line

The sessions are calm and relaxing, and he's a very patient teacher, making sure to go to a pace you're comfortable with

He enjoys starting off sessions by trying to converse a bit in Japanese

He finds himself thinking that the words sound gorgeous coming from you

North Italy • Feliciano Vargas

As soon as he found out you were partial to his language, he began to slip more Italian in his sentences than he ever did previously, and his accent became ever so slightly more pronounced

He used the guise of "helping you learn", but he only changed his speech because you like it, and he's not subtle about it at all

While he's excited when you ask him to teach you Italian, the sessions are unstructured and often derail into other topics quickly

Because of this, he opts to drop the books and drag you to his country instead, getting you to order your own food in restaurants and converse with the locals in Italian, insisting that the best way to learn is through the people

In his country, he'll also drag you to mostly empty cinemas, where a movie will be playing in Italian and he'll translate any words or sentences in whispers

He's not too serious on pronunciation and honestly thinks it's endearing when your natural accent, regardless of what it is, shines through the words in Italian

He loves flirting with you in Italian now

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Hi Wendy! Hand her over II😱😱😱

I see Omi as a very loving & doting husband. So i think Mikey will probably say some shit like you're too old to satisfy your wife (let's say his wife is younger than him) -spoiler that's not true

Or i see Omi or Koko to make a wrong desicion that was possibility cause Bonten some trouble. They managed to handle it, so Mikey probably demand to sleep with wife as a punishment.

Mochi - maybe his wife didn't know he was part of Bonten or Mikey just thought that his wife is too pretty for someone like him,so decided to feed his ego that not only Mochi can sleep with that gorgeous girl.

Or another idea, idk who exactly, but like drunk Bonten played a poker and the looser should give Mikey one wish (like they didn't know what he will ask for)

Anyway, can't wait for this work, it's amazing

THANK YOU OH MY GOD

THANK YOU FOR THESE WONDERFUL AND AMAZING IDEAS

(Original requestor was @galactict3a so I'm adding them in this request!)

Hand Her Over II: Hajime Kokonoi/Takeomi Akashi/ Kanji Mochizuki x Fem!Reader

wc: 1.4k

tw: nsfw, dark content (gun themes, assault) Be forewarned all who read!

masterlist

Hand Her Over Megapost

It all starts with one little request. One small, simple question.

Takeomi Akashi

Takeomi's cigarette bobs in his mouth before he exhales, pulling the cheap tobacco and paper filter away from his face. Mikey is staring at him as if he'd asked Takeomi to borrow his right shoe, which - now that he thinks about it - he'd be hesitant to give him that, too.

"Y/n is not really keen on things like that," Takeomi mutters, placing his cigarette in the ashtray carefully. He stubs it out and then looks back up at Manjiro's empty gaze. "She's only ever been with me, so I'm going to have to decline on her behalf."

The look Mikey gives him is bored, but he persists. "She hasn't been with a younger man?" Takeomi frowns. "She's stuck with an old man for a lover. Shouldn't we see who the better one is?" Pride is something Takeomi tossed away long ago, but he feels it creeping back up at those words. "If I win this game," Manjiro whispers, placing a card in the burn pile. He doesn't even need to continue.

"No," Takeomi mutters back. "You won't. And she won't."

Takeomi thought he played a good game. He thought he would win. He really did.

"Baby," he whispers, scrubbing his coarse thumbs over your cheeks. "It's okay."

"Omi," you whimper, your glossy lips pursed into a pout. "I don't want to."

"I know," he replies, looking over your head at the aloof boss standing just off center. "But it's just one night." Even as the words come out, Takeomi can't believe he's saying something so heinous. Why would he allow his wife to be claimed by such a careless brat?

You look back at Mikey, and your entire body shivers. Mikey isn't really focused on you; he's more interested in his dorayaki. But even so...

"He's like a kid," you breathe, and tears come to your eyes. You don't get a chance to scrub them away before Takeomi is pressing you into his chest and letting you smear your makeup all over his shirt.

"Fuck this," he mutters. "Mikey, the deal's off. She doesn't want to." Manjiro looks up and frowns. He swallows before addressing Takeomi with that flat voice he likes to use when he tries to intimidate people.

"You'll give her to me or suffer the consequences." Takeomi moves you behind him protectively and proudly proclaims,

"Fuck you. You're not even half of what Shinichiro was if you think you can throw your weight around like this."

Something in Mikey changes, and Takeomi sees the switch flip. He has no time to move. Before you can stoop to help your husband, he's crouched over, the swift kick to the gut rendering him useless. He moans in pain, but Mikey's not done.

Takeomi isn't sure when the beating began or ended. All he knows is that he's in a lot of pain on the penthouse floor and at some point, he blacked out.

When he comes to though, you're bent over the couch, and Mikey has a fistful of hair in one hand. In the other, he's holding a gun to your head and huffing something Takeomi can't make out.

"...look at him..." Mikey mutters, his fingers tightening in your hair. "Look at how weak he is. Do you want a man like that? Hm?"

Takeomi's whole body is on fire, and he can barely get up, but when he hears your reply, he's rendered absolutely useless. You stare at him with tears collecting on your lashes and running down your bruised face and whimper,

"No, no."

Hajime Kokonoi

Kokonoi laughs at Manjiro, then leans back in his seat leisurely. "I don't have a wife." Mikey stares back at him with a look that says he doesn't believe him, but Koko steeples his fingers and shrugs. "Tough luck."

"No wife," Mikey replies coldly. "Not even..."

"Don't." Kokonoi snaps, squinting his eyes. "Don't you dare mention him."

"I wasn't." The him they're referring to isn't in the room - he's not even in the same city currently - and Mikey sits down in the chair across from Koko's desk.

"Your... beard." It takes a minute for Kokonoi to get it, but when he does, he leans forward.

"She's not going to agree to be your plaything."

"Why? Is she too busy with Inu--" Kokonoi gets up and reaches across the desk, grabbing Mikey's shirt roughly.

"Listen, you slimy fuck, leave them out of this." Mikey glances up at Koko's reddened face and smirks, catching on to the plot a little quicker than he had anticipated. Koko clears his throat quickly and lets Mikey's shirt go, regaining his composure with a slow brush of his fingers over his white hair. Koko's thin fingers work to straighten his shirt, and then he stands up, exhaling sharply.

"If that's all you came in here to ask for, then you're not going to get it. Have a good evening, Manjiro."

Mikey gives him a lingering stare that seems to drag on for ages, but he finally gets up and leaves, shutting the office door behind him. Kokonoi stands at his desk for a brief moment to let the man fully disappear, then he scrambles for the phone in his desk drawer.

With shaking fingers, he dials the first number he knows by heart, and when he hears the voice that answers, a sigh of relief washes over him.

"You and y/n need to get out of the house... don't ask questions, Inupi. Just go. You know where the safe house is." Kokonoi hangs up, snapping the phone closed, and he gathers a couple of necessary items from his desk before heading toward the door.

He doesn't have long, but if all went to plan, he wouldn't need time. He'd just need his money, the passports, and a bit of luck.

Kanji Mochizuki

"You haven't told her, have you?" The muffled shouts echo in the large room, coming from both you and your husband. The orchestrator of the events stands before you, examining your face with a look in his eye that's unmistakable.

You'd seen it many times before - the look of hunger and lust - thanks to your short career as a runway model. Short, because you married Mochi, not because you weren't beautiful. Mochi never looked at you with the unbridled need to dominate you, nor did he have the capacity to bend you to his will.

But it seems he worked for people who did.

"Mochi," the man murmurs, looking away from you for a brief second. "You should have told her what happens to pretty girls who snoop around."

Mochi strains to scream past the duct tape over his mouth, but it's futile. Just as futile as tugging on the ropes that have you bound. A cloth gag is in your mouth, and any person with two brain cells could decipher why.

"Answer me this," the dead-eyed man states, stooping down to look at you. "Do you know what Bonten is?"

You do, but you shake your head 'no,' as a tear slides down your face.

"No?" The man blinks and trails a finger down your cheek, following its path with his lips. "He's a good husband for protecting you, isn't he?" You nod.

"He shouldn't have to watch this, should he?" You hesitate. "Or should he be rewarded for keeping secrets?" You choke out a sob, more tears sliding down your face. "The great Kanji Mochizuki," the man announces as if he were a ringmaster. "Brought to his knees by the one and only Manjiro Sano." Manjiro. You know that name. He squats in front of Mochi and roughly removes the tape from his mouth. Mochi is already spitting curses at him, shaking with rage at the sight of his boss lording over him.

"I'd watch your tongue," Manjiro warns. "Someone might feel the urge to take it out of your mouth." Mochi gathers up as much spit as he can in a millisecond and hocks it at Manjiro with enough force that it lands on his shoe. You tremble with fear. This could be the end.

"And with that," Manjiro mutters, standing. "I've changed my mind." Your eyes widen, but Manjiro places more duct tape over Mochi's mouth. "I don't want your sloppy seconds." Preliminary relief floods through your veins as you slump down, thanking whatever god was looking down at the moment.

"But I know someone who does." You stiffen and look up, just as a pink-haired man appears from the shadows, smiling widely. Your body feels like ice as soon as his gaze sweeps over you.

The scream Mochi emits past the duct tape is just as haunting.

[corvid-language-library]

2024 Goals Monthly Check-In

I actually didn't do this last month because I was ill all of February and didn't make much/any progress with anything so I felt it was kinda pointless 😅 Let's see where I'm at now!

Japanese

1) Reach ~N3 level - I've not really been focusing on this so much. I've started using HelloTalk again and occasionally trying to learn a little new N3 grammar/kanji/vocab, but I should probably study in a more focused way.

2) Learn 10 songs by heart to a level where I could sing them at karaoke - Oh yeah I haven't worked on this at all, I kinda forgot it was a thing lmao

3) Finish reading another book of short stories - No progress made whoops. I try to read articles on Todai/NHK Easy a bit more but I've not touched my short story book.

4) Finish both Minna No Nihongo books - I'm about halfway through unit 11, so I'm a little behind but not too much. Hoping to finish unit 11 tonight and unit 12 at some point this week, but we'll see what happens!

Norwegian

1) Read at least 2 books in Norwegian - Not started yet

2) Maintain an overall B2/C1 level - I think I'm maintaining, but I need to immerse more for sure

3) Finish Enjoy Norwegian textbook - I've completed unit 2 so I'm a little behind where I wanted to be, but I should be able to catch up relatively easily.

Life in Japan Goals

As with last time, I'm just gonna focus on the goals where I've made progress rather than listing all 11. So:

1) Get my hair cut - Did it! And it wasn't as scary as I thought it would be :D

4) Have a 10-minute conversation with a native speaker in Japanese that’s not an italki lesson - I managed to chat with the hairdresser, so I can definitely say I did this!

6) Go to the dentist - I've booked an appointment and I'll be going next Monday. Absolutely terrified :D

7) Go to a prefecture I haven’t been to before - I went to Tochigi last weekend!

11) Be able to point to every prefecture on a map and name their capital cities - I can still more or less do this, but I sometimes mix up some prefectures or can't quite remember a capital

Non-language

1) Read 36 books - I've read 11/36 books, which means I'm 3 books ahead of schedule.

2) Complete a first draft of a novel manuscript - no progress made lol

3) Comfortable two-block oversplit with back bend - my oversplits are there but they feel very tight and not comfortable, so I need to work more on them.

4) Consistently hold a handstand for 5 seconds - I can barely balance on my hands at all atm lmao but I'll keep trying

5) Noticeably improve my demi pointe - I'm using the strength in my feet a lot more than I used to but I'm not getting much higher. I'll keep at it!

Health/diet goals under the cut:

Diet & health goals

1) Tackle my diet soda and sugar addictions - I've come a long way with the binge eating! I bought a multipack of chocolate marshmallow biscuits and managed to just take one with me to work every day instead of sitting and binging the whole lot. And right now I have a family-sized bag of mini eggs in my cupboard and I'm managing to eat a controlled set portion each day. I still mess up my diet sometimes, but I'm very happy with how I'm doing!

Diet soda is still a huge problem though lol

2) Slim down enough that none of my clothes are tight anymore - I look and feel SO much better about myself! For ages I've not wanted to dress up nicely because I felt like I looked frumpy or chubby or shapeless in my nice outfits. But when I was packing for Utsunomiya, I tried on all my cute outfits and I thought they looked good! I still want to lose a bit more so that I can see my abs, but I'm really happy with my progress here.

[randoimago]

May I please request the letters D and F for Naoto, Kanji, and Yu? 😃

Alphabet Headcanons

Fandom: Persona 4

Character(s): Naoto Shirogane, Kanji Tatsumi, Yu Narukami

Type of Request: Headcanons

Note(s): Doing these for Yu is so interesting because you can absolutely play him as cheating on everyone and agreeing with Adachi's whole "Marriage is a ball and chain". I did this as him being a decent human being though.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Naoto

Has honestly never really thought about it. She's spent so much time trying to prove herself and focusing on schoolwork and her career that she hasn't really thought about her actual future when it comes to family life.

She probably wouldn't mind it, but she does want to make sure she's comfortable and happy with herself before she has a partner.

She's very clean. There are times when she lets her desk get to an organized chaos, but when it gets to be too much then she does a very good job at cleaning.

As for cooking, it's decent (which is more than can be said for the others). Probably better at baking than actual cooking, but if she is using a recipe then she can do a pretty damn good job.

Kanji

Would like to settle down someday. He tries not to show it, but he is a sap for romance and should he find the right person then he'd like to be married and have/adopt kids. Just do the whole thing.

He's pretty good with cooking and cleaning. He isn't a fan of doing either, but his mom has griped at him enough so he can make a nice meal and makes sure to leave things looking nicer than he left them.

Yu

Not really something that's on his mind. He'd like to have a deep relationship with someone some day, but he doesn't quite know about marriage. It's definitely something to contemplate and talk about should the time comes.

At the beginning of the game, Yu can make something edible and keep dust off of shelves. Once his stats build up then he is a lot better at cooking and cleaning. Like Kanji, it's not his favorite thing, but once he's developed his skills then he can do a pretty good job.

.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Naoto

Like mentioned above, a relationship hasn't really been right on her mind. She doesn't hate the idea of being in a committed relationship, but there will have to be a lot of patience because she wants to be happy with herself before she can be with someone else.

Probably dates someone for a long time. There's definitely questions from close friends/family about if you guys are ever going to get married. She just wants to make things perfect and if it's not then she'll wait.

She's not in a rush to get married. If she's in a relationship with the one then they will know how much she loves them and appreciates them with words even if a ring isn't on any finger.

Kanji

The idea of having a partner is very exciting to him, but he also knows he's scary and not the easiest to get along with so he's not in any rush for a relationship. When it does happen then he isn't going to look at anyone else.

Would be like Naoto with wanting to wait for the perfect moment, but ends up asking you to marry sooner than he wanted due to his mom's pestering.

He would have wanted to make things really nice and sweet but might just casually pop the question and try to take it back because he can do better, but you end up with the ring anyway.

Yu

Is open to having casual dates and seeing a few people before settling down with a boyfriend/girlfriend. He's still young and so he wants to have some fun in between the stress of being a high school kid.

When he does have a partner then he will be committed to them and happy to be with them, but until then he's happy with being casual.

Yu would wait a bit before marriage. He was casual with others before so he won't be too hot and heavy with the relationship, just seeing how it goes.

When he fully realizes he's in love then he'll sit on those feelings for a while just to make sure it's actual love and not something else.

[greetings-inferiors]

hi :3

ive seen you mention studying japanese a few times, and as i recently got into it again, i was wondering what kind of resources you use? and how you go about it in general.

So I’m not the best source at the moment because I’ve been putting it off for half a year at this point (but surely I’ll start again soon) but here’s how my Japanese learning journey’s been:

First of all, I started with Duolingo. I know I know. But I didn’t do any of the actual main things. What I used it for was to learn hiragana and katakana, which it EXCELS at, because they’re just phonetic and have no meaning attached, unlike kanji which have WAYYYYY more nuance, and I found Duolingo did anything other than literally learning what each hiragana and katakana sounded like really poorly. I haven’t touched it for two years however, so idk how it’s changed. But it got me to a point where I can read any hiragana and katakana instantly, and can recall and even write the most common hiragana and some katakana. Obviously recollection is a lot harder, and I struggle to write uncommon characters from memory, but still, it did it really well.

When I actually started studying kanji, wanikani was the best thing. You learn radicals (the bird making up kanji), then wait a bit before reviewing them, then wait a bit longer before reviewing them again, then you unlock kanji made up of those radicals, then you review them, then you wait a bit longer then review them again, then you unlock vocabulary involving those kanji, then you wait a bit and review them, etc. then you level up and unlock new radicals. It’s a really really good system, and I got to level 13 out of 60 before going on hiatus for exams (and haven’t started again to the point where I’m starting exams again soon 😭). It is paid past level 3, either monthly, yearly, or lifetime (lifetime’s worth it believe me, especially since it should be on sale around now)

They’ve also (in the time I’ve been gone) added grammar, which is something I struggled with as I hadn’t invested money into bunpro, a similar site focusing on grammar (I tried it but didn’t like it as much as wanikani, still good but wanikani is genuinely a brilliant site)

I’m also going to be getting some manga in Japanese, which is a great way to learn as it’s not only fun (because it’s manga) and easy to learn (as it’s designed for younger Japanese speakers), it’s also just really cool. Like damn I’m reading in a foreign language???? You also get to organically learn words instead of something like wanikani where you’re learning them pretty academically. You get to see the words in context and if you don’t recognise/understand it, you can look up the meaning of the individual kanji and try and piece it together yourself!

Overall I’m really trying to get back into Japanese, it’s something I’m genuinely passionate about and really enjoy doing, it’s just… a very daunting prospect. A downside of wanikani I didn’t mention is that if you don’t do your reviews they pile UP. I currently have about 1000 reviews, because I was a dumb stupid idiot and forgot to turn on vacation mode. So I’d either have to get through 1000 reviews (at my peak of obsession I could do about 100-200 on a good day, in the summer holidays) or reset to an earlier level (which I’m probably going to do, as the latest levels I didn’t commit to memory as much as the earlier levels so it’d be nice to relearn them).

I wish you luck in trying to get back into Japanese,幸運！^_^

[dolugecat]

On some Japanese social issues I had learned about at uni and abroad):

(Rb ok!)

Legit had an epiphany about the true hidden meaning of the last arc of Mob Psycho 100. It’s hella projection but for real there is nothing neurotypical about Mob or Mob Psycho. I do not wish to enforce my interpretation on others (ironic bc I do that all the time but this is a serious social theory). There are some interesting and very sad social issues in Japan that the west really doesn’t understand but would I think help people understand a lot of context behind not only Mob Psycho, but also a lot of other anime. I learned this at my shitty university (prestigious but horrific) and while studying abroad in Japan and talking with Japanese peers. Get ready here we go (and tw for bullying and darker things):

Unfortunately in East Asian education systems, bullying can be extremely intense. Growing up I assumed it was over exaggerated extremely in anime for drama but it really can be so horrific. From what I’ve heard, there is often a single kid or so who is just shit on by everyone else, even the teacher. Mogami land *is* the reality of some Japanese kids. I’ve read that in Korea, this social punching bag sometimes is just the darkest skinned person (yayyy colorism /angry) and or someone who does not fit in. I mean, we have that in America too, but maybe not as common for the bullying to be as focused on one misfit rather than several. These kids just can’t escape the stigma too, kids from other schools find out they were a major victim at their old school and it starts anew. Thus there is so much stigma and incentive to join in on bullying so you aren’t the one. Sadly, this also ofc leads to higher suicide rates. That’s where the “shoe on building roof” anime trope comes in, bc somehow taking off shoes is relayed to death (I forgot why sorry)

There is a difference in how intense in general high school vs college is too. In the West, commonly college is the more intense curriculum and is harder than high school, but in Japan it’s usually the opposite. Grind suuuupppeeerrrr hard for entrance exams (huge standardized tests that determines what college you can qualify to) bc unlike the ACT or SAT here, that test is by far the most important factor for college admission. Then chill and relax a bit in college. Can’t relate. Name and prestige is very critical for job application, more important than here. That’s why planning out your future is sooo much more intense for Japanese high schoolers than in America, and why there is sooo much more pressure to excel in high school than here. Japanese school years and holidays are done different than ours, I’d suggest looking it up.

Social prestige of going to an American high school or college is nuts. Like whyyy do you value our shitty education, Japan’s is much higher quality (it’s bc we neo colonized them). Being able to speak English is very, very highly valued and any association with Americans make you cooler. From my experience, some Japanese students got very excited to practice speaking English with us, and their biggest issues with learning it is pronunciation, lmao. Wasai english is unique slang that is indeed English words but it’s kinda different and it’s kinda jarring to remember lol. So, Teru having parents that are working overseas isn’t too uncommon, idk about leaving him absolutely alone, but I did have a ex-friend who just came from Japan in middle school who’s situation probably wasn’t too far off from that. Empty wealth with no love, it’s no wonder those kind of people can end up being huge bullies (minori?)

I did a presentation on 引きこもり(hikikomori) for which means “shut in”, (like Serizawa) and it’s fucked up. It’s a social phenomena where according to some Japanese researchers a mix of undisciplined parenting, guilt/not living up to expectations, and hopelessness makes an alarming amount of youth/ young adults literally never go out side their house/room. Often a parent is “enabling” the behavior by supporting them, but idk the articles seemed a bit victim-blaming to me when I read it, but I don’t think I should make a judgement too hard, not my place. I will say I do suspect and believe I read something to support that ASD might play a role in hikikomoris (there is pitiful resources for autistic people in Asia, much much less support than even here, to the point I don’t think most know it exists). Like come on, with the other points I laid out my personal opinion as an Asian American with autism is that it really seems it’s unknowing ableism against autistic classmates, but I didn’t grow up in Asia so I don’t want to say.

Mental health in general is tragically quite abysmal in Japan, and with it being so hyper competitive and brutal work culture, it’s no surprise birth rate in Japan is so low; some Japanese young adults say it seems unethical to bring a life to such hostile world. Suicide rate is of the highest in the world. It’s fucked, I’ve interacted with some of the locals in Tokyo and they were so nice, but the business men just looked dead inside, it’s so sad.

Relationships between child and parent is also strained bc of this intense work and school culture. Quality time is too scarce when you gotta work so much. And the pressure from parents to do well in education or else you might end up socially stigmatized is rough. Bc your job is who you are, it’s hyper capitalism (thanks us for making them do this)

With autism being so unknown, support for parents in raising autistic kids is almost nonexistent. What happens if the “darker” side of ASD shows up in kids? I used to be a menace when I had meltdowns, I felt so bad but really just became so indiscriminately violent. See where this is going? Legit, I think ESP is a sort of metaphor for neurodivergance to ONE. There is so much stigma around it, and even less way for kids to understand why they are different than the others. My Korean family can’t admit we all got ASD, too much fear and internalized shame.

I got finally diagnosed with ASD as an adult and I’ll tell ya, I relate too much to Mob hurting Ritsu. I felt so bad, but also not in control, I knew what I was doing but not how to stop. Luckily, is was blessed in that my hyperfixations involved science and logic, so I did well at school. Sadly, our boy Mob just don’t got the passion or ability to do well at school. His kanji is very bad, even to point of not being confident he wrote a kanji (世) they learn when they are 9, in elementary school (thanks @katyatalks). Him being a bit berated by his parents for having bad grades and bending spoons seems harsh to Westerners I think, but IMO it’s pretty tame from what I’ve seen of some Asian parents (I get to say that lmao). Ofc, however the shaming is very real and Mob just agreeing with them about how weird and stupid he thinks he is so sad. There is even more pressure for the eldest to be better than here, I feel from some interactions. Nonetheless, it’s implied Mob is quite emotionally detached from his parents, even though he loves them, which also adds to his emotional complex. Combined with originally fragile self esteem and feelings of worthlessness, we got one emotionally stunted boy. However, contrary to common belief people with ASD are sometimes hyper empathic and experience emotions very intensely. We are prone to having “meltdowns” which if not assisted with can be quite violent if very intense. For me, my worse meltdowns as a kid came from when I didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting what I wanted, it seemed selfish and cruel of me but I couldn’t control it. I wanted to be a good kid, so why did hit my moms leg at target when she refused to buy me Pokémon toys? I couldn’t come up with a good reason for why my mind just commanded my body to do bad things, just a single thought was controlling me, I want I want I want I want I want ____. Which I argue could be what ???% represents… bc well…. Yeah….. hmm….. not in control of self (mob unconscious), selfish (not actually, I’ve forgave myself but my “normal” kid self was so ashamed), destructive, hurt family, wanting to stop but can’t, that’s kind of…. Too relatable.

But legit, since realizing my new HC, I’ve started to think of the last chapter of mp100 when I “explode” and it helps me feel better and I do gain “control” a bit easier. I don’t feel so bad anymore either, Mob!

[animeomegas]

I read the Naruto Omega request with the alpha commenting about how their kid is just like their Omega (and I loved it so much) but what if the kid is just like their Alpha parent? Like the Alpha hit copy/paste of their kid and it's obvious to everyone, especially their Omega parent.

(Hehe, the reverse, interesting! I got a bit carried away in some places, but this was really fun to write! Enjoy~)

Naruto - Naruto knows his pup looks a lot like his alpha, but they're also like him!! He can see it just fine! You see the way they don't like reading kanji? He didn't like reading kanji when he was their age! You see the way they scratch their head sometimes? He does that too! As far as he's concerned there is lots of him in his child and he doesn't know why no one else seems to see it. He will definitely dress them in the worst orange clothes and style their hair like his to try and get everyone else to notice the similarities.

"No, Kakashi sensei, you don't get it! I had to walk past Ichiraku's the other day and my pup started to cry because we were in too much of a rush to go in. They have great taste, just like me, believe it!"

Sasuke - Sasuke didn't think he was the sort to care that much, but he's honestly a little shocked. Uchiha genes are crazy strong, and he's surprised that his alpha's genes are apparently stronger. He also gets kinda embarrassed because he spent his whole pregnancy telling you that the pup was probably going to look a lot like him and he was very obviously wrong about that. But in the end, he honestly kind of likes it. He doesn't have the best self-esteem and he definitely holds a somewhat subconscious belief that the Uchiha bloodline is cursed, so he finds it relaxing for his pup to look so much like his alpha. It makes him feel like they have a chance at a good life, something he didn't even realise he was worried about beforehand. He prefers his pup to look as much like his alpha as possible.

"Huh," said Naruto, giving Sasuke's pup a glance. "If you were an alpha, I'd say your mate cheated on you, but I guess the pup came out of you, so I suppose you're all good."

"Tch, idiot," Sasuke scoffed, gently brushing his child's hair (his alpha's hair that he loved so much) from her eyes. "Don't be so crude."

Shino - He doesn't really notice, not at first, too enamoured by the fact that his pup is beautiful and amazing and someone him and his mate created together. But after a few comments from others, he starts to realise how little of him seemed to be part of that creation, and he gets a bit melancholic about it. Don't get him wrong, he thinks his alpha has amazing genetics and he loves them both but... he's been excluded from a lot in his life and the fact that he appears to have been excluded from this as well. It hurts. Thankfully, as soon as the pup is old enough to start dressing in the Aburame clan clothes, everyone immediately starts calling them a mini-Shino, telling him how much like their father they are etc. He always puffs up in pride and it doesn’t take long for his friends to notice and they make sure to say that as much as possible to him. I imagine his alpha also picks up on it and goes out of their way to point out the similarities.

"I had to pull him away from exploring in the woods today," you inform Shino, having just walked in from a walk with your pup to allow Shino some peace to clean the kitchen. "He didn't like being told he wasn't old enough yet. Much like someone else I used to know~"

"Is that so?" Shino felt like his heart might burst from happiness that his child loved looking for bugs in the woods as much as he did. "I'll have to take him there tomorrow. Why? Because I want him to be happy."

Shikamaru - If his child doesn't learn to appreciate the beauty of a nap soon, Shikamaru may just have to disown him. He's joking, of course, but he's another one who firmly believed in the dominant genes in his clan, so he is shocked to find that there is now a tiny clone of his alpha running around their house. His pup and his mate gang up on him all the time… poor long suffering Shikamaru. Apart from missing valuable napping/cloud gazing time, Shikamaru doesn't care that much, although he finds it distantly amusing that the future clan head looks nothing like a Nara. Maybe they’ll gain more of his traits as they get older, maybe they won’t, they’re his precious little pup either way.

“If I promise to give you some chocolate later, will you come and take a nap with daddy?”

“No, no, no! Don’t want to! Want to play!”

Shikamaru just let out a long-suffering sigh and resigned himself to being awake for the whole day. Troublesome.

Neji – Neji is so fucking over the moon, he can’t even put it into words. The second he sees his child’s eyes for the first time, Neji starts to cry. They have your eyes. In other words, they have no chance of developing the Byakugan and therefore no need to be given the caged bird seal. The weight that lifts off his shoulders is massive. He has no room in his emotions for any sadness that his pup doesn’t look like him, because he knows how unbelievably lucky he got with this.

You sat by Neji’s bedside, pup cradled in their arms, as you waited for him to come to after the c-section surgery.

When Neji’s eyes finally fluttered open, he immediately focused on the bundle in your arms.

“It’s a little girl,” you answered, understanding his silent question. “Either a beta or an omega.”

Neji didn’t speak, simply holding out his arms to take his daughter from his mate. But just as they transferred him his pup, they whispered something in his ear.

“She has my eyes.”

An unremarkable statement to most, but Neji startled and checked immediately. You were right. She had your eyes.

Exhausted, Neji burst into tears, leaning on his alpha for support and mentally thanking every power that may be for this miracle.

Iruka – Iruka doesn’t have any strong feelings either way. He just wanted someone to love and nurture, what they look like doesn’t mean anything to him. In fact, he’s pretty happy that his pup and his alpha are so similar because it makes him feel like he knows how to parent successfully. He knows his alpha better than anyone after all, so a pup who has the same personality and motivations should be easier for him to parent. He acknowledges every comment about how much his pup looks like you with a laugh. It’s true and it is a little amusing how similar the two of you are. (Also, does Iruka take all your baby photos and then stage matching ones with your pup because he thinks it’s cute how similar you are? Absolutely.)

“Here, if you eat all your vegetables, you can have some of this afterwards,” Iruka promised to his pup, brandishing a plate of both his mate’s and his pup’s favourite food. Without even a moment of consideration, his pup started to eat his vegetables.

Iruka smiled to himself. Works every time. (On both the most important people in his life.)

Itachi – Much like Neji, he’s very relieved that his child is unlikely to be able to unlock the Sharigan. The sharigan has brought Itachi very little good and so much suffering, so knowing his child can avoid that makes him extremely happy. Not to mention, the elders pretty much discard his pup as unimportant immediately, just how Itachi likes it, and while they do start harassing him about having more children, he would much rather that they were bothering him than his baby. He doesn’t let himself be disappointed that his child doesn’t look much like him. He has a healthy and happy pup that he loves with all his heart, and who is free from the perpetual harassment from the Uchiha elders. That’s the best situation he could have asked for.

“They don’t look like an Uchiha,” a blunt twelve-year-old Sasuke said, tilting his head at the bundle in his brother’s arms like he’d never seen a baby before.

Itachi didn’t take any offence and laughed softly, still very weak from the birth.

“Well, technically they are only half-Uchiha,” Itachi answered, absently stroking his pup’s head. “And I think they’re perfect.”

[todomitoukei]

Japanese vs. English Dabi - A 292 Comparison

As other people have already pointed it, the official translation is sometimes a little biased to the point of adding things into the text that aren’t in the original Japanese version or changing phrases to the point where the villains come off colder than they actually are.

The current chapters are highly important to Dabi’s and Shouto’s characters and so the official translation, unfortunately, can lead to people getting the wrong image of Dabi. This is not to say that Dabi is actually a super friendly guy - however, I don’t think you can get a full picture of all the layers to his character without taking the original text in mind.

Since there are a few panels I’m going to talk about from this chapter - comparing the Japanese version with the official translation and also dissecting and explaining the original Japanese phrases - I’m going to put the rest of this post under the cut because it’s a bit lengthy otherwise.

Let’s start with these panels. Though these aren’t mistranslated per se, just like with the “dance with your son in hell” line from the previous chapter, the furigana next to the kanji have a different meaning here. As discussed before, whenever this is the case, the furigana are what the character says, and the kanji represent what the character actually means.

The line in the second panel is: 「轟家の過去が消えるわけじゃねえだろ。」

轟家 「とどろきいえ ; todoroki ie 」-> the Todoroki household

の　「 no 」-> particle to indicate possession, works like an apostrophe

過去 「かこ  ; kako  」 ->  the past; a past (i.e. a personal history one would prefer remained secret); one’s past

が 「 ga  」 -> particle to mark the subject of the sentence

消える 「きえる  ; kieru  」 -> to vanish; to disappear

わけじゃねえ 「 wakejanee  」 -> It doesn’t mean that

だろ 「 daro  」 ->  right ? (used to ask the person you’re talking to for confirmation)

The two words that have a different furigana reading than they should have, are Todoroki household and past. According to the furigana, Dabi says:

「 うち 」-> house; one’s own home

「 じじつ 」-> truth; reality

So going by the kanji reading you get:

“This doesn’t mean that the past of the Todoroki household just disappears, right?”

Whereas what he actually says is:

“This doesn’t mean the truth of our home just disappears, right?”

In comparison to the “dance with your son in hell” line, these two versions don’t differ as much from another. Caleb actually addresses this in his twitter threat and sort of mixed the two versions into one: “This doesn’t change the hard truths about my family’s past!”

Personally, considering he is directly talking to Shouto here, I find the choice of translating the Todoroki household/home part into “my family” a bit weird. Since he seeks Shouto’s confirmation here, it would make more sense to translate it as “our family” in my opinion. The “my” makes it feel a lot more self-centered, even though there is no indication for him to only be referring to himself here.

Switching the word to vanish with “change” also slightly changes the meaning here. Though both are accurate, I feel like their past disappearing holds more weight. The line is, after all, referring to the fact that Best Jeanist has appeared, despite Dabi earlier announcing that the hero had been killed. So even though Dabi was wrong about that part, it doesn’t make his other facts go away. It’s not just about changing his words, but making it like they were never spoken in the first place. It’s a small difference, but a difference nonetheless.

Finally, the “hard truths” part instead of reality/past. It’s interesting to think about why Dabi says “truth” when he means “past”. But I think one way to look at it is that to Dabi, he has accepted the past. He has lived with it and carried it with him in silence for so long, but was always aware of it. Despite him not having told anyone else about it, he didn’t deny that past to himself. He shows his scars and he fights back. That is who Dabi is as the person that rose from Touya’s ashes. Meanwhile, he says “truth” while talking to Shouto. While we, the readers, and those around Shouto know of his hatred towards Endeavor, Dabi doesn’t know about this. To him, Shouto really is just Endeavor’s little doll. And so in Dabi’s eyes, Shouto has yet to see the truth. To acknowledge their past and the pain they all went through. And though Dabi might not be completely right about Shouto, he isn’t entirely wrong, either. Because even when Shouto hates Endeavor, even when he says he is just going to use him for his own gain, at the end of the day, regardless of his reasons, his actions are still what Endeavor wants him to do - to train hard and want to become the Number One Hero.

I included one the alternative meanings “a personal past one might prefer remained secret” because it also fits well with that interpretation. That the true meaning behind him saying “truth” is not just the mere past, but the part of the past they don’t want to share. Whether that’s because it’s an ugly one that could haunt them for the rest of their lives, or because it’s just difficult to talk about. Either way, it’s more than just memories from when their family was still young. In that, I think “hard truth” is actually a fitting translation, even when it doesn’t have the exact same nuance as the Japanese version.

While Shouto and Dabi are in many ways similar to another, they have slightly different goals: While Dabi wants to kill Endeavor, Shouto wants to save his mom. To both of them that is liberty, just with a different approach.

And the ending of the sentence, where he seeks confirmation from Shouto, sort of indicates just that. He wants Shouto to admit it. Pushing him into a corner and asking a question that only has one right answer. This is also similar to a few chapters ago when Toga confronted Uraraka with the question “Was Jin not a person?” It’s asking something with an obvious answer, yet the people being asked seem to not yet be able to give the right answer, even when they might already know it.

Next of, Shouto confronts Dabi about the villain he sent to their house, who could have killed Natsuo. As you can see in the panel above, the English translation has Dabi say: “Almost killed? What a shame. That would’ve really hurt Endeavor.”

Meanwhile, the Japanese version says: 「それならそれで。エンデヴァーが苦しむ。」

「それならそれで ; sorenara sorede 」 -> even so (expression frustration); still

「 エンデヴァー ; Endebā 」 -> Endeavor

「 が ; ga 」 -> particle to mark the subject of the sentence

「 苦しむ ; kurushimu  」 -> to suffer

As you can see, “Almost killed? What a shame” is kind of very far off from the actual meaning. While the official translation makes it almost sound like Dabi is disappointed and wants Natsuo to be killed, the fan translation has him say: “Then that would mean Endeavor would suffer.” This is a lot closer to the Japanese version and focuses on the more important part: the goal is for Endeavor to suffer. Dabi’s intention isn’t to get anyone else in the family hurt/killed in the process, however, he does have this tunnel vision where everything is about Endeavor and doing whatever to hurt him.

“What a shame” sounds like he is upset Natsuo didn’t actually die. While, as stated above, the first part can show frustration, that frustration more likely refers to the disappointment that Endeavor doesn’t suffer as much as he could.

While both versions translate the second part as Endeavor “would” suffer/be hurt by this, the Japanese uses the present tense for suffering. In a way, Dabi is saying “Well, though he could’ve been more hurt, he suffers.” Maybe he hasn’t been as damaged as could be, but it doesn’t matter, because the fact remains that he does suffer from this, present tense. So Dabi doesn’t recognize this as a loss or “a shame” that Natsuo didn’t die. Instead, he recognizes that Endeavor suffers, even when he isn’t met with the worst-case scenario.

In response to the last panel, Shouto asks whether Dabi is insane (please don’t ask people that) and Dabi’s response in the original translation is “Sure am, Shouto. See, your brother’s not so big on “feelings” anymore.”

A couple of thoughts on this. First, this is a downgrade in comparison to the fan translation of “You got it, Shouto! Your big brother has completely lost any feeling for anything!”

Something the phrasing coupled with Dabi’s wide eyes and big smile make me laugh and this panel now lives rent free in my head. 

Anyway, the Japanese line goes: 「そうだよ焦凍兄ちゃん何も感じなくなっちまった。」

「そうだよ ; soudayo 」 -> that is right

「 焦凍  ; Shouto 」 -> Shouto

「 兄ちゃん ; Nii-Chan 」 -> big bro (in a very endearing way, but can also be used to be demeaning)

「 何も  ; nanimo 」 -> nothing

「 感じ ; kanji 」 -> feeling

「 なく ; naku 」 -> adverbial form of nai; attaches to a verb to mean “without”

「 なっちまった ; nacchimatta 」 -> to have become (unintentionally; regretfully)

The fan translation, in my opinion, is far more accurate, but there is still something missing. 

First of all, I don’t know why the official translation put feelings in quotes as if Dabi didn’t actually say it? mean it? It just feels like an odd choice that I can’t find a good enough justification for.

Second of all, “not so big on ‘feelings’ anymore” and “has completely lost any feeling for anything” is a big difference, and would make sense if the fan translation was inaccurate. But it isn’t. The official translation makes it sound like Dabi more or less chose not to feel anymore or pay attention to his feelings. He could, but he doesn’t want to. You could argue that both sentences still carry the same meaning: Dabi doesn’t feel anymore. "To be big on something” usually refers to having a strong interest in something and prioritizing said interest, which implies that one chooses to prioritize it. While I’m not arguing that some people do choose to ignore their feelings instead of confronting them, in this case, it’s actually the opposite of what he says.

Looking at the actual Japanese sentence, it begins with Dabi confirming Shouto’s words. Yes, I am crazy. There is no denying, nor shame in this. There is almost a bit of pride in that - so little bro actually recognizes that I have gone crazy from this.

Nii-Chan is an interesting choice of words here. The Japanese language is very much based on hierarchy. There are different levels of formality (shown through words, expressions, and verb forms) depending on whom you are speaking to. To summarize: When you are talking to someone who is of higher status (based on job position, age, experience). This also applies to siblings. Since those of higher status can be more direct/less formal with those of lower status, older siblings can address their younger siblings by their given name alone. 

Meanwhile, the younger siblings would use some kind of honorific/suffix. In this case, the “Nii” means older brother. “San” is the standard suffix you would use to address your older siblings (and other people in general). “Chan” is a suffix that you usually use for kids/girls, - where it has a cute, endearing connotation - wherefore it becomes kind of rude when used for older people (as in people who aren’t children anymore). But it can also show endearment - a close bond between the siblings.

So why does Dabi call himself “Nii-Chan”? While you can interpret this as a sarcastic remark to mock their non-existent relationship, I think here Dabi uses it here to humanize himself to Shouto. Kind of like an “I know you see me as a villain right now, but I also am your bro, remember?” He isn’t just this “evil criminal” - rather cute lil Touya is still inside of him. Dabi isn’t just Dabi. He still is Touya, too. So if you fight Dabi and if you call Dabi insane, you also do those things to Touya. Dabi might be the stage of “having completely lost it” but that doesn’t just suddenly happen. It’s a process. While we can say Dabi became Touya on the day Touya “died” yet it’s important to recognize that there was a gradual transition where both Touya and Dabi existed.

Now that we have that part aside, let’s focus on the actual point of that phrase. The part about his feelings.

何も感じなくなっちまった。 Nanimo kanjinaku nacchimatta.

“Nanimo” means nothing and comes with negative verbs that it refers to.

As mentioned before, “kanji” means feeling and is paired with the adverbial form of “nai” - “naku” which negates “kanji” to turn it into not feeling. Pair that with “nanimo” and you get a meaning of “feeling nothing”

Now for the actually interesting part of this phrase (apologies that it took so long) - “nacchimatta”. This word consists of two seperate words: “naru” and “chimatta”. “Naru” means to become and is here merged with “chimatta” which is the colloquial past tense version of “teshimau”. The verb “shimau” expresses that an action (the verb it attaches to) has happened either unintentionally or has yielded regrettable results. So in this case, it is unintentional/regrettable that he has become something.

Putting this together, Dabi says that he has turned into someone who doesn’t feel anything anymore and this was not his intention, nor is it a good thing. To be fair, “shimau” can also mean something happens completely, however this meaning is rarer and while we can say that this is the meaning here, it’s more likely and more interesting to consider the more common meaning.

With that in mind, I want to quickly address the panel next to it, where Shouto asks him whether he has gone insane

In Japanese Shouto says:「イカれてんのかてめェ！」

「イカれて ; ikarete  」 -> (*ika is written in katakana here to emphasize the word since you can’t use italics in Japanese) to be beaten; to be crazy

「 ん  ; n 」 -> ender is used when explaining something; often with emotion*

「 の ; no 」 -> explanatory particle; used at the end of a sentence like a question marker, but you want the listener to answer and give you the reasons why

「 か ; ka 」 -> ender indicating doubt or uncertainty

「 てめェ！; temee! 」 -> you (derogatory) *meme not intended

The reason why these nuances are important to take into account is that when Dabi, in his reply confirms that “Yes, you’re right, unfortunately, I have become unable to feel anything” he is not just confirming the statement, but emphasizing just how tragic this all is.

*[edit because someone pointed this out to me: the ん here is actually more likely to be the casual form of いる (iru) that attaches to the て (te) form of a verb to turn it into the current/ongoing state (= In this case "are you being crazy).]

The official translation simply made Shouto say: “Are you freaking insane?!” which isn’t exactly wrong but misses the nuance of the “nnoka” in the middle of the sentence. While the official translation sounds rather cold and dismissive, the original shows that Shouto cares. There is emotion, and more importantly: there is a desire to hear his reasons. “Why do you think it was okay to put Natsuo in danger?” By the way, the “n” ender that shows emotion when explaining something is also used by Shouto earlier when he says “Remember him? The brother you cried to every day?!” - It’s no surprise that he is emotional right now, still, it’s important to note that he isn’t just showing his emotions through his tone or his expression, but also through his words in order to make it as clear as possible to Dabi how much Dabi’s actions affect the rest of them and hopefully be able to get through to it.

It’s an emotional and tragic conversation that takes place between them, yet the official translation turned it into a much colder, less-caring one.

I know this was a lengthy post with a lot of information, so congrats and thank you if you’ve made it this far. The reason why I decided to make this post was that initially, the “Nii-Chan can’t feel anything anymore” part stuck with me so much and even more so when I dissected it.

Again, other people have pointed out that the official translation is very biased at times, which is not just sad for those of us who care about the villains, but it’s also just not professional. A lot of the panels I talked about in this post aren’t inherently incorrect, they are simply missing nuances that the English language doesn’t provide. Still, I wished that a professional translator would figure out a way to at least slightly incorporate these anyhow (which btw is literally part of the job). Aside from those, it’s just frustrating when the emotions get almost entirely removed from phrases. I get it - Dabi is apathetic, as he says himself. And yet, Dabi is also constantly shown to put extreme care into which words he chooses; this chapter being no exception. So why does such an important conversation between two brothers get changed in ways that make people who don’t bother checking other translations/the Japanese version unable to get the right image of them?

I understand that it’s important to support the official translation and I do. But it’s also very much important to read other versions, too. While the fan translation might have errors and mistranslations in it here and there, it tends to be a bit more literal and thus includes the nuances more than the official translation does. So please don’t just read the official translation and treat it like the only valid one, when it also comes with its flaws and just isn’t a good sole source for when you want to understand the characters.

[psychewritesbs]

Chapter 160: How much of Yuji’s life has been orchestrated? + Megumi the stage-five clinger

Happy JJK-Sunday!

If I had to describe chapter 160 with as few words as possible, I would say: Oh f*ck...

My favorite moment was, of course, Megumi acting like a stage-five clinger. His interaction with Yuji in this chapter is especially ominous in light of Yuji being adamant of protecting Megumi from Sukuna.

A second favorite was Sasaki showing up in this chapter because of the implications moving forward.

Let’s jump right in. 

How much of Yuji’s life has been orchestrated by Kenjaku?

We start the chapter with Kenjaku talking to none other than Sasaki, one of the members of the Occult Club at the high school in Sendai that Yuji used to attend.

Of course, the bomb that Gege dropped on us in this chapter is when Kenjaku thanks Sasaki “for getting along with my son”. 

Like... excuse you?

Not only does this 100% confirm that Kenjaku used Yuji’s mother’s body to give birth to him, but this specific moment + some foreshadowing from previous chapters also opens an interesting can of worms about Yuji’s life: just how much of Yuji’s life has Kenjaku orchestrated?

For me, the implication is that Sasaki had an assigned role to play in Yuji’s life that would inevitably lead to him eating Sukuna’s finger. 

I am assuming this because although we don’t see Kenjaku’s interactions with the other people in Sendai, we get to see that, in addition for thanking her for getting along with Yuji, Kenjaku is incredibly kind to Sasaki. We also learn that she’s the only one who has received a special message from him (thanking her).

Ready to make this whole interaction more ominous? Someone pointed out that the kanji in Sasaki’s name means assistant. 

All of this brings us right back to Yuji’s free will--or lack thereof?

We already know that Kenjaku claims he made Yuji “ingest” Sukuna’s finger and that Megumi is rightfully concerned with this idea because he witnessed Yuji eat Sukuna’s finger “of his own free will.”

It’s also becoming increasingly obvious that Yuji was "created” solely for the purpose of becoming Sukuna’s vessel. 

What this new reveal about Sasaki does is that it makes everything feel like certain events have been part of Kenjaku’s master plan all along. While this still feels a little farfetched, it will come down to how Gege works this idea into the story moving forward.

Come to think of it, even Yuji’s grandfather’s dying words to Yuji take on a new meaning since we know Wasuke knew something was definitively up with Yuji’s mother.

Another possible bit of foreshadowing all the way in chapter 1: While the intersection in the second panel below could be ANY intersection in Japan, it sure looks like the Shibuya crossing:

A quick note on the importance of kanji meanings in JJK before moving onto the next section: knowing the meaning of Sasaki’s name tells us that names are important in JJK. If you haven’t, I recommend you read my break down on the meaning of Megumi’s FULL NAME. His first name is important, but so is his last name.

The plans moving forward

Going off to Tokyo Colony #2 are Panda and Hakari. 

As the strongest, Hakari feels like he should take on Hajime. As for Panda, it looks like his focus will be on hunting down Angel.

Side note: I love that Hakari is still calling Megumi names. Guess Senpai can’t help himself.

I must admit I was disappointed to find that Kirara will stay behind to report, but it is what it is. I am assuming Gege could see no use for Kirara and decided to leave the character out of the action for the time being. 

As for Megumi and Yuji, they’ll be heading to Tokyo Colony #1 to target Higuruma, everybody’s new favorite Law & Order boss. 

This brings us to Megumi’s current state of mind...

Megumi the stage-five clinger

I had a hard time coming up with the title for this section because what I see happening is that Megumi is starting to feel the pressure of the looming deadline for Tsumiki joining the Culling Game. What his behavior shows, however, is that he needs Yuji with him and is clinging onto him but won’t come out and say it--opting instead for aggression towards Yuji, the very same person he needs most. 

His behavior reminded me of how Megumi could be mean to Tsumiki even though he clearly adores her. Apparently that’s the meaning of being tsundere. I’ve read about the term tsundere before but it never “clicked” until this moment and I just love Gege’s interpretation of the trope through Megumi’s character. 

It goes without saying that it was REALLY interesting to me to see Megumi’s dynamic and interaction with Yuji in this chapter because it looks like Gege is letting us know Megumi’s state of mind continues to be one of desperation--remember that dogeza bow from chapter 157?

The thing about Megumi is that he looks stoic on the outside, but he’s actually an incredibly emotional person who doesn’t often show how he’s feeling. 

I hadn’t caught on, but in chatting with @justafrenchlondoner​ about the chapter, they pointed out Megumi’s behavior in his dynamic with Yuji appears nervous and aggressive.

Upon a second look I have to agree that Megumi is acting out of character and aggressive with Yuji when all that Yuji really wants is to protect Megumi from Sukuna.

And yes, let me go ahead and sound like a broken record as I remind you of Yuji’s rather ominous words from chapter 143 yet again:

And this is the part of the chapter that knocked the air out of me: Megumi telling Yuji to stfu about Sukuna but Yuji thinking to himself “as long as I’m around you will suffer” back in ch143 is so damn ominous.

Oh f*ck...

But this is what REALLY gets me about this whole interaction and why I’m calling Megumi a stage-five clinger...

Even though Megumi is calling Yuji selfish, in reality, the one being selfish is Megumi.

This is, of course, my own interpretation of the situation, but to me it feels as though Megumi is clinging onto Yuji’s strength for dear life. 

It’s almost like Megumi needs not just Yuji’s physical strength, but also his unwavering conviction or mental strength.

If you think about it, Megumi has only recently started fighting to win. Remember how unsure he was of himself when fighting Sukuna for the first time? It wasn’t until he went up against the Cursed Spirit from the Yasohachi bridge that he let go of his inhibitions.

Megumi’s battles during Shibuya were the pinnacle of his growth as a character in that moment. If I remember correctly, according to the timeline of events, the Shibuya incident happened around two weeks prior to the current chapter. You could say that although he is more comfortable in his strength than before, Megumi is still growing into his strength at this point.

The thing about Megumi is that everybody and their Divine Dog believes in him and sees his potential except for him. As Gojo tells him “you undervalue yourself.”

Looking back, the way Megumi asks begs Yuji for help in chapter 143 is very enlightening of how Megumi needs Yuji’s strength: 

I initially had read this to mean Megumi needed Yuji’s physical strength. Upon second look, however, Megumi has always seemed to have admiration for Yuji’s conviction.

With the looming deadline for Tsumiki’s vow to join the Culling Game, as Megumi starts to feel the pressure to make his plan work, who better to keep around than the person who will always go for the home run and whose strength he admires?

In other words, like hell he’s going to let Yuji leave his side. Which, again, only makes it more heartbreaking to think Sukuna is up to no good regarding Megumi and Yuji wants to protect him from that.

Oh f*ck.......

The panel below feels like a bit of a lighthearted and comical moment, but it’s also interesting to note that this is the second time they “fight”.

The first “fight” having taken place during the Cursed Womb Arc.

If you will remember, Gege used the Cursed Womb Arc and the Origin of Obedience Arc to show us how much our favorite trio had grown. 

Not sure Gege is going to parallel something here again, but just interesting to note.

Oh f*ck...

Ya, please excuse the French.

Despite the many words I’ve shared here, this chapter left me mostly speechless. 

I feel like I’ve been trapped in Gojo’s limitless domain expansion and all I can think is “oh f*ck” or “halloween” (if you catch my drift).

Chapter 160 was incredible because it looks like Gege has finally finished putting all his pieces into place and is ready to go for the kill by: 

Starting to unravel the story bit by bit, giving us all of the twists we both saw and did not see coming, and

Ramping up the stakes. Taking into consideration the estimates that JJK is somewhere around 60-70% done at this point, It’s not a matter of whether some of our beloved characters will die, but about who, when and how they will die

One last detail

I love the last four panels of the chapter showing Panda, Hakari, Yuji and Megumi all wearing their uniforms (barring Panda) and getting ready to become official participants of the Culling Game by entering their respective barriers.

Knowing that Gege is a very talented artist capable of showing and expressing emotions through his art, I feel like these panels tell us a lot about what the characters might be thinking and I thought I’d expand on that. 

Bear in mind this is my personal interpretation as an artist:

Panda looks excited and ready to fight, perhaps even confident. Panda is saying “bring it!” with his body language

There’s a hint of something I can’t describe in Hakari’s face. It’s almost like he’s coming face to face against how big of a challenge this is going to be and yet he’s resolved to walk straight into “the depths of hell itself”

Yuji looks focused, determined to go in and give it his best no matter what comes his way--that’s just who he is

And then there’s Megumi. I’ve been drawing Megumi recently, and one thing I noticed is that he has very specific micro-expressions. In his panel, he’s warming up his wrists as though he’s getting ready to fight, he has a focused look on his face, but the shadows around his eyes say he might be feeling like he is carrying the heavy burden of the uncertainty surrounding the situation he’s going through

With all that being said... the Culling Game is officially starting and we’re in for a one-way ride straight to hell.

Thank you for reading and happy JJK-Sunday!

What about you? What did you enjoy most about chapter 160?

[rigelmejo]

In updates:

I'm not as organized with study plans as I used to be and honestly that won't change for a while. That said, I do have 2 challenges I'm trying for myself. I don't know if I'll accomplish them, but just the fact I'm Trying to is getting me to study more. So we'll see where I am in April on these.

1. Listening through Japanese Fluency 1-3 Glossika files

I'm on file 10 out of 104 in Japanese 1. Then there's 104 files in each of the other two files. On the upside? I think even in such a small amount of files listened to so far, in some ways these files have already covered more than what i ever managed to hear in Japanese Pimsleur 1. I think I've heard at least 100 words so far, and a lot of grammar examples in sentence patterns (maybe 20? Maybe 30). I think JapaneseAudioLessons.com's 36 lessons probably cover grammar faster, but I'm not sure if they cover as much vocab as Glossika aims for (which is 3000 sentences, and 2000-3000 words). They might, but I don't know for sure. Also on the upside - the glossika files are easy to listen to, I can pick up stuff from them even when I'm working too or driving or playing games. So it should be easier to stick to using them ToT (just like it was for Chinese Spoonfed audio files).

My goal right now is to keep listening until I finish. In an effort not to give up ToT I'd like to be through the first module Japanese 1 by the end of April. But honestly if it takes longer thats fine. I just want to try to focus on progressing through it for as long as i can. I think it's an easy way right now for me to reinforce what I know, learn more words in a structured way (Clozemaster is a good backup but isn't as structured), improve my listening comprehension (which will make learning from Clozemaster audio later less intensive, learning from anything else where I need quick listening skill), get used to understanding the things I know faster (lately I've tried a bit of Japanese immersion and it's so Clear to me that 50% of my comprehension issues are a speed problem... I'm failing to comprehend a lot of stuff I've studied and just don't recognize instantly). If and when I get bored, I plan to either immerse in video games again or watch lets plays, or try listening reading method.

I've been watching a few Japanese lets plays on YouTube (and found Final Fantasy X and Kingdom Hearts in Japanese on there). And I think with things like that, which I'm already familiar with in English, I can just enjoy and pick up some stuff. But I'd like to get my listening comprehension to a better level before making immersion my only study plan for a while lol. Because right now so much I could be reinforcing is going over my head.

I think audio focused Japanese study still is suiting me, like it was last summer. Reading is still mostly Stronger as a skill despite me not purposely trying to study it so much. I think it's because written Japanese has clearer grammar distinctions for me, and the Kanji are like "similar cognates" enough of the time they help me much more than when I'm just hearing a word. So I'm going to continue most purposeful study plans using audio. After I'm sick of glossika, like I said I want to probably use mainly lets plays with audio or listening resding method (so I can hear sound constantly with all the new words). One of my biggest problems with picking up Japanese words is the all kana words, and the Kanji pronunciations.

2. Reading through Zhenhun. With audio playing (optional).

In my dream world I finish this in 2 weeks. In A Nice situation, I finish this in a month. Realistically? I'm hoping I just get further into the novel before giving up than last time lol.

I genuinely think if I just read MORE quantity wise, my reading skill will get better - reading speed, words I learn etc. And I just really want to read it! I was reading my print version, which has extra scenes I love, and I was figuring out plenty of words from context even if I didn't get every detail.

I started reading the webnovel version in my ebook reader Moonreader (although Idiom or Pleco would also work), because it will play the audio aloud as I read. It's helping me read faster instead of dwelling on a hard portion, which is nice. It's also making me recognize what I know faster since I've got less time to recognize it before the audio moves on. I'm getting somewhat less time to figure out new words, but honestly a majority of unknown words priest uses get clarified by the context after a couple paragraphs if they're important. Like I'd forgotten a few words that I just saw enough to remember again. And then the obvious benefit - audio is making me hear all the hanzi pronunciations I forgot and the pronunciations for new ones (like I forgot 拐 was guai until I kept hearing it, I kept guessing it was ling). I think using the audio is making me read faster ultimately (and more well rounded study since I've got visual text and audio listening) even though it means I have to set myself up to do it with more effort.

Anyway! Surprisingly Moonreader app is making me more motivated to read. Why? This:

At the bottom of the page it shows me how many digital pages I've read, and the percentage I've read. I restarted reading yesterday, and today I'm at 50/901 pages, 5.3% read. Just this amount of detail is really motivating for me ToT. Honestly I think it's because it shows me how far ive come, and helps me plan how long it will realistically take. 5% took me about 2 hours. So like. 40 hours to finish this at my reading pace. Oh god. But also? Hey, on the other hand?! Now I know if I just spend 2 hours a day I could finish this in 20 days. If I had some days I got really into it, I could maybe finish faster. I very much have the Urge to see 10% down there lol. And that urge to keep progressing is helping me ignore my urge to pause and re-read the vague parts.

I read a guy's advice on improving in another language and they said to read a webnovel (300 pages) in 2 weeks. Ad one of your first novels. And try not to take longer. And while that is a brutal goal for a beginner, I do agree the more you read the easier it gets and the quicker it gets. When I read xiao wangzi it took me 2 weeks for those under 100 pages. But I did make myself finish it in a couple weeks. Now my reading level is higher, and I can probably get myself to finish at least 300 pages of this in 2 weeks. ToT my reading level is probably decent enough to manage that. That's only 1/3 of guardian tho lol (clearly that guy wasn't reading chinese webnovels).

I saw another person who really motivated me to just wanr to read MORE:

Tarvos basically did what I did for French. But way better than I did (more extensive reading and harder material). And it clearly worked. And I remember it worked for me too - read and follow the main idea, don't worry about what you can't comprehend or what is vague. Then somehow the next book is a bit easier. Then later you go back and read at a level that used to be challenging and you comprehend way more.

I know that in chinese at least (and French ToT) I know enough words that I do not need to stop and look words up to keep reading. I can follow the main plot, and so if Mt goals extensive reading then I just have to DO IT. Just read 2000 pages lol! And the more pages I get through, I know the easier it will get later on! I just need to push through the initial hurdle and READ MORE ToT.

I am going to be so overjoyed and shocked later if I push through a bunch of a novel now, and later find I understand more and read faster.

I already see results of that, from back when I made myself read like 60 chapters of a pingxie fic last summer lol! Now, going back to stuff at that level? I open up tsomd or SCI something brand new to me and realize I can also follow the main overall idea without a dictionary now. Whereas I used to usually need to look up some words in the first chapters of new stories just to pick up some key genre words and recognize names. But clearly my reading level increased from just reading more last time. Now some old stories I could understand okay generally without a dictationary I now follow almost all details (tamendegushi, dmbj, saye). And stuff I needed to do some initial prep work for, I could now just read extensively and follow the main idea, if I wanted. I'd probably get used to them if I just Kept Reading. So like... I definitely think... I just need to push through that awkward feeling of not quite full comprehension, and just read MORE. ToT

And. First: I know that advice works... I know I've just Read MORE before, then later I just Could read and comprehend more easier. Second: I know more pages is just what's needed to improve reading speed... ;-; I remember reading once an article which suggested 8k-10k words to get a native like reading speed and comprehension of vocab. More pages for some languages, but that was the basic idea. And tbh it sounds logical to me, because I'm sure I read that much in my native language before I comprehended novels like I do as an adult.

An FYI to anyone trying to learn Chinese by extensive reading: I can confirm it will work. At minimum I would recommend you either start with graded readers at your level, or else familiarize yourself with 2000 common words before starting (you don't need them memorized but you should probably know 1000 common words decently and fairly certainly know what they are if you see them, recognize and be able to guess 1000 more, and recognize at least 1200 hanzi enough to guess pinyin to look up in a dictionary on occasion). If you start with intensive reading, you can start with less vocab knowledge. If you plan on extensive reading, at least vaguely recognizing 2000 words will be enough to find some webnovels you'll be able to follow the main idea of without a dictionary (and many manhua). So about 6 months - 1.5 years into study (depending on how fast you study vocab) or earlier if you start with graded readers (theres some graded readers you could probably start within a few months of starting to study, then you can continue fairly comfortably with graded readers until you learn 1000 hanzi or more, some amount more vocab, and are up for looking for webnovels). There's a lot of nice graded readers made from 100 hanzi, to 2000 hanzi. From 100 unique words, to 3000 unique words (I think some even go up to 5000 unique words for chinese). But once you're vaguely familiar with 2000 common words? You know enough to start reading some webnovels extensively, if you're up for it.

And it will work. You will gradually pick up more from context. (As usual, yes, intensive reading and/or SRS flashcards will help you pick up vocab faster, but you'll gradually improve too just from the extensive reading). You will gradually increase your grammar understanding, vocab, reading speed, ans reading comprehension.

Only things I needed to be ready to learn from extensively reading? 1. Vaguely familiar with 1500 common words (but I'd recommend someone less eager than me prep with 2000 words so they run into less unknowns to annoy them). 2. Vague knowledge of the Chinese radicals (skills like being able to go 拐 is the hand and the 另 hanzi, and break down new hanzi you see into recognizable components, will help you guess pinyin to look up when needed based on one of the building blocks pinyins, and help you guess the meaning of new hanzi - 拐 shows up in abduct/turn/corner and thinking of it as hand-another like another's hand giving you directions to turn, another's hands grabbing to abduct, another's hand reaching around a 拐角 corner etc will help you remember the new hanzi. It is beneficial to know beforehand about radicals, how sometimes one hints pronunciation and one hints meaning). 3. Ability to follow the bare minimum main idea of what's going on in the story. If you can't even do thar, the reading material is too difficult. If you can follow the basic main idea, it's okay even if a TON of details are incomprehensible or vague, because you comprehend enough context to gradually keep picking up more. (Although the More you understand the less effort it will take you to pick up more from context). So say you're reading Alice in Wonderland - if you can grasp "there's a girl Alice, there's a rabbit she interacts somehow with, she follows it and ends up in a new place" then congrats you understand enough of chapter 1 to read it extensively. You could also understand more like "alice was bored, the rabbit is late, Alice falls down a hole, Alice is sad as she falls." But even just the bare minimum is enough. The more you understand of the basic main idea, the easier a read it will be. When I started reading in French a ton of stuff I only followed the basic main idea, and I just kept reading extensively and things got easier lol. (And if you're impatient or want to read intensively, feel free to read these less comprehensive things with some word look up to speed up how fast you learn new vocab, until you're sick of looking up vocab and just want to read extensively again - I kept reading intensively until I got to about 2000 known words, and from 1000-2000 words in chinese I kept switching between extensive and then intensive to pick up a few hundred words faster).

4. Optional - Some prior grammar knowledge like reading a grammar guide or having some class/textbook prep etc (not necessary, but it helps seeing a sentence and having some vague guess what's a noun verb adjective past tense present future negative positive etc even if there's still complex grammar you don't get yet).

I read on the forum discussions about getting into extensive reading, the question "well thar worked with Swedish, but would a language like chinese take more prep work?" Because chinese requires hanzi recognition, word and phrase parsing without spaces, and less cognates. And how to pronounce the words you're picking up.

The person above prepped with FSI, and had the benefit of cognates. But I'd still imagine that added up to 1000-2000 words basis of knowledge and some grammar basics before they started learning from reading extensively. Which was about the same amount of prep work I had for chinese. And extensively reading in chinese worked fine for me with that much prior knowledge. So I think extensive resding is very doable at that level in chinese.

How I'd address the concerns:

1. Hanzi. If you know around 1000 and have some familiarity with radicals, picking up hanzi is not too bad when reading extensively. Pick graded readers if you want less unknown hanzi per page, and as you gradually pick up more hanzi comprehension from context you will find you stop running into as many critical unknown ones. Also hanzi pickup is tied in with vocab pick up. You'll learn 方向 as direction then 方向盘 as steering wheel (direction wheel) and realize 方 is often direction related, 盘 is often a circle shape thing then see 盘子 as plate then see 椅子 as chair and realize 子 is part of some nouns. You'll also see 椅子 and realize 椅 it's the tree wood radical and then the yi part like in 倚 for a chair (a sometimes wood thing pronounced yi). Or hug 抱, you see the the sound from 包 bao like bread 包子 and the hand radical. A word maybe with pinyin bao that has to do with hands and is someone touching someone. Once you know enough hanzi, you start to remember new hanzi easier as built of components you've seen before. Same applies to new words - you know one word with a hanzi, then see a new word with that hanzi, and either its 2 hanzi you know in a new combo or only 1 new unknown hanzi. But you have some building blocks to guess the new words. You can't rely on cognates like with English to French, but as you learn more hanzi they help you guess words like cognate similarities do. If too many unknown hanzi keep popping up and it's driving you up a wall? Move to graded readers for a while until you pick up more (so the book is made to teach you them) or read intensively for a while until the remaining unknown hanzi get easier to handle (that happened for me after knowing about 1500 hanzi and finally new unknown hanzi i couldnt fathom at all stopped popping up so much).

2. Word boundaries. Genuinely, just read Chinese more. Start with graded readers so the grammar isn't confusing you as much. Read more. It gets fairly natural to parse Chinese word/phrase boundaries after enough practice. Grammar constructions and function words and time phrases separate phrases quite clearly if you recognize 有 没有 了 以后 以前 就是 的 得 地 那个 那些 来 会 在 过了 过 一会 去. And they're all common so you'll pick them up soon. Chinese words are usually 1 character (if super common), 2 characters (most of what you'll see), 4 characters (idioms and phrases, and a lot of the 2 compound words like 路灯literally streetlight (and 3 character words like 方向盘 literally direction plate/steering wheel) are fairly understandable compounds if you know the hanzi. So you will quickly get to a point where you run into sentences where the unknowns are verbs or nouns or phrases you don't know (you may not know an adjective/descriptor but it's often followed by 的 地 so you'll know it's a part of that). A lot of the phrases will be 4 character chunks and be 2 words combined or 4 words combined. A lot of the nouns and verbs will be words acting on other words (verbs). Basically... the more you read the clearer it gets where the usual word boundaries are. I recommend more graded readers if the lack of spaces is bothering you, I think it's just a matter of getting used to it with practice (and graded readers will ensure there's less distractions and more focus on just parsing word phrase boundaries). Once you're used to word boundaries, it will not be as much of a struggle in harder materials. I'd imagine this is similarly true when applied to Japanese. Japanese grammar and conjugatjon and use of Kanji, use of particles, helps separate sentence elements. For me the tricky part is knowing when kana words are nouns and not conjugation, but I think i just haven't practiced enough.

For pronunciation of hanzi/words you're learning while extensively reading: many people solve that problem either by reading with audio for chinese (to hear the words), or doing listening study separately such as doing audio only extensive listening, or watching dramas with chinese subs so you get some reinforcement of hanzi wirh their pronunciation at some point. While you can guess the pinyin sometimes from the hanzi parts, it's not always right. So with chinese I think doing some additional listening including studying is just necessary for fully learning words. You can still learn to read plenty of words just extensively reading and figure a vague pronunciation for it (which is how I know a lot of more obscure English words I probably do not pronounce correctly). But yeah eventually if you think it's a word that would be useful to pronounce correct, you'll want to do some listening study. Either separately studying the sound of words you want to recognize in listening (with audiobooks, audio lessons, watching shows, convos, dictionary with audio lookup, srs, or reading with listening etc) or understand you may "relearn" a lot of the important words by first hearing them and later learning their spelling, or by first reading them and later finish learning them when you hear them in a podcast or show or conversation. (Even if you totally incorrectly guess a hanzi pronunciation, you'll eventually hear the word used again in some audio like an audiobook or show or convo and realize it's the hanzi word you learned, and you'll fix your pronunciation... the same way I couldn't pronounce futile or windowsill or rogue until I heard them a few times). As long as you are doing some reading and some listening activities, you will eventually pick up both aspects of words. You can speed it up by purposely studying both aspects together, but either way it will be okay. As a total beginner? Audio with graded readers, dialogue with transcripts and audio, shows with chinese subs, srs flashcards or apps with audio and text, will help you pick up both listening and reading recognition of a lot of the common words asap.

Tldr: extensive working does work for chinese too.

----

Summary of study plan:

1. Going through glossika japanese 1 (by end of April hopefully we'll see)

2. Going through 300 pages (33%) of zhenhun (within a few weeks hopefully)

Future study plan:

1. If I get bored/done with glossika japanese, watching a full lets play of KH or FFX, or doing a Listening Reading Method experiment with a Japanese Duoreader story.

2. If I get done with zhenhun? Somehow? And I'm done with japanese glossika - switch to listen to Chinese Spoonfed audio files and FINISH THEM THIS TIME. If I'm not ready for audio study? Continue with zhenhun... or continue on reading another novel probably qi ye, tian ya ke, silent reading, or who knows honestly I have a lot of options. Lazy option: if my manhua I ordered come in, just read them uvu.

[t0wnspersonb]

Better Off As Lovers (Tsukishima Kei x Reader)

Word Count: 5,076

Warnings: SMUT, oral (female receiving), bad language, my shit writing

~~~~

salty4tsukki

said:

hello! i luv ur blog sm!! can i pls req a scenario (or hc if that’s easier) of tsukki and reader going from enemies to lovers? perhaps reader ended up doing tsukki a solid that saved his ass and that marked the turning point of their relationship? sfw+nsfw if that’s oki!! tysm in advanced :-)

~~~~

Here is some spice for you guys. I hope you like it, I had a lot of fun writing it lol. Tsukishima is such a fucking prick, I absolutely love it. @salty4tsukki​ I hope this was what you had wanted, also thank you so much for your support! Requests are closing tomorrow! I’m slowly but surely making my way through all of the requests and writing stuff up. I should probably be focusing on school but ya girl is avoiding responsibilities right now lmao. I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend!😚😚😚

~~~~

“You’re literally the fucking worst.” you hissed; eyes narrowed into slits. “I bet hell gave you back to earth because you’re worse than Satan himself.”

 All you got in response was a raise of a blonde eyebrow and an ignorant smirk.

 “You want to get hit? Is that what you’re asking for?” You threatened, holding your fist up for emphasis.

 You had never been more upset; in all honesty you probably wouldn’t have been this annoyed about the situation if it was someone else. 

 But because it was him, you knew that it was intentional, it wasn’t an accident as everyone else was making it seem.

 “Now, now…” Koganegawa said, stepping between the two of you. “Tsukki didn’t know that was your dessert. It was an honest mistake.”

 “That’s not an honest mistake Kanji!” You screeched. “I literally told everyone how excited I was to finally get my hands on that famous strawberry shortcake from that bakery! I got the last slice and he went and ate it!” you pointed at the tall blonde accusingly; who’s smirk was growing wider and wider as you wailed about the unfairness of it all.

 “Can’t you just go get another one?” Kyoutani huffed, rolling his eyes from his spot on the floor.

 “They’re famous for a reason Kentarou! I had to get up super early to stand in line! And even then, the line was super long! I waited for hours! You think I’m going to do that again!?” You were all but hysterical now.

 You might have already been having a rough day though, and your missing cake was the cherry on top to it all.

 The soft huff of a laugh caused you to whirl around, your tiny fists coming up to hit Tsukishima on his chest repeatedly.

 “You’re the fucking worst!” you huffed out, frustrated tears springing to your eyes. The tall blonde was full on laughing at you now, much to your embarrassment and anger.

 You couldn’t lie, it was a tad bit irrational to get so upset over a missing slice of cake. But it was a long sucky day, you were looking forward to that delicious morsel of strawberry goodness after practice, and it wasn’t fucking there.

 “You’re so weak,” Tsukishima mused, easily grasping your hands in his large ones, preventing you from hitting him further.

 Despite his rude words, his grip was surprisingly gentle. 

 You still ripped your hands away from his in anger. 

 “Don’t touch me, you thief.” You growled, cradling your hands against your chest, eyes glaring into the tall male.

 “You’re so annoying. I already apologized.” Tsukishima said, stretching his arms above his head. 

 “An apology won’t bring back my cake!” You snapped, grabbing your stuff from the floor. “You’re the worst Tsukishima. Let’s go already, Kentarou.” You huffed.

 The said male rolled his eyes before saying goodbye to his teammates, following you out of the gym.

 You were still fuming quietly as you two walked home together.

 Funnily enough, you had developed a close friendship with the small male, which resulted in him walking you home since he lived close by. 

 “I hate him.” You whined, tugging at the bottom of Kyoutani’s team jacket.

 He swatted your hand away, causing you to whine again, reaching for him once more, he sighed in irritation but let you hold onto his jacket this time.

 “You guys just need to fuck already.” He said.

 You stopped walking; causing Kyoutani to be yanked back since you were holding onto his jacket. 

 “What the fuck Y/n?” He growled.

 “I would never in a million years have sex with someone like him.” You said, face twisting in disgust.

 Kyoutani had definitely lost his mind with that comment. Tsukishima was your enemy, your opposite half, the worst person that you have ever met, there was just no way.

 “Are you serious?” He asked deadpanned. “It’s so disgustingly obvious you two like each other.” 

 You rolled your eyes at him, releasing his jacket from your grasp as you guys continued walking. “You’re blind Kentarou, we hate each other.”

 “I think you’re the one who’s blind Y/n. I’ll see you tomorrow for morning practice.” he said waving goodbye to you as you entered your home.

 The rest of your night was plagued with thoughts of Tsukishima, leaving you with a bitter taste in your mouth despite the fact that you had brushed your teeth.

 There was no way that Tsukishima liked you, nor you him. You did find him incredibly attractive, but who wouldn’t? He was tall and muscular, incredibly intelligent, and he was a good volleyball player. 

 Of course, people would find him attractive, but his personality was anything but, to you at least.

 Your first ever interaction with him was entirely unpleasant, his mocking attitude and sarcastic comments left you with the worst impression of him, and it resulted in how you felt about him now.

 But then… What did Kyoutani mean about you being blind?

 You screamed loudly into your pillow.

 ****

 “You look terrible.” Tsukishima raised his eyebrow at you, taking in your disheveled form.

 “I didn’t get much sleep last night.” You muttered, rubbing at your eyes tiredly. 

 Tsukishima was actually quiet for once, somehow you had missed the flash of concern that shot through his eyes.

 That didn’t go unnoticed by Kyoutani, who rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath how dense both of you were.

 Practice ran smoothly, there surprisingly wasn’t any sarcastic comments directed at you from Tsukishima. For the most part, he left you alone today, much to your relief.

 Now you were currently in one of the history classes you were a TA in. Between managing a volleyball team, and being a teaching assistant, it was no wonder you were always stressed out.

 Funnily enough, Tsukishima was one of the students in that class. 

 “We’re going to hand back your midterm essays now.” The professor announced. You grabbed the papers from your folder and started walking around the class handing them back to the nervous students.

 Your brows furrowed as you had realized that you only held three more papers in your hand, you hadn’t even given Tsukishima’s - oh. Your eyes widened slightly as you looked over at the tall male, he looked irritated, his eyes finding yours, there was a slight shake to his head.

 He had never turned in the essay. 

 That’s right, the essay was due around the same time that volleyball practices were incredibly strenuous in preparation for some important matches.

 But the midterm essay counted as a large portion of the grade, which meant that if Tsukishima received a zero, then he would fail the class, which meant that he wouldn’t be allowed to play volleyball any -

 “I seemed to have made a mistake Professor.” You said. “I think I lost Tsukishima’s paper…”

 What were you doing?

 Shit, you could get in big trouble for this so why were you doing this?

 “It’s not like you to be scatterbrained like this Y/n.” the Professor shook his head. “I swear you take on too many tasks, between this and being a team manager… Tsukishima, do you mind turning in the paper again to Y/n? Let us say… by the end of the day?”

 “It’s no problem sir.” Tsukishima said quietly, eyes glancing over to you as you finished handing out the last of the essays.

 “I’m sorry Tsukishima, I hope you can forgive me.” You said sweetly, bowing at him slightly.

 What the fuck?

 What the actual fuck were you doing?

 Tsukishima was taken back by your tone and your show of respect towards him, that was new. 

 That was… shit was he blushing? He ignored the creeping heat in his face and the slightly quicker thump of his heart. He pushed his glasses up slightly. “It’s not a problem.” he said quietly.

 You nodded at him once more as you made your way back towards the front of the room, ignoring the rising blush in your own face and the racing of your own heart. You got lucky that the professor really took a liking to you as his TA, you could get away with murder when it came to this class.

 Tsukishima was incredibly lucky as well, he was the top student in this class, never missed any assignments, always participated in class, so of course the professor was going to be more lenient with him.

 No one would have ever guessed that he had never turned in his midterm, except you.

 That was something that you didn’t understand, why would you help him out? 

 It was because he was just part of your team, right? You were doing this because you wanted your team to succeed right? He was one of the best players you had, so if you lost him that would hurt the team… that was why, right?

 Or maybe… maybe Kyoutani was right.

 Maybe, just maybe, by chance you actually did harbor a small attraction to the tall blonde.

 ****

 The rest of the day was seemingly uneventful, and you found yourself wrapping up the evening volleyball practice.

 “Hey.” an all too familiar voice called out, a sudden shadow being cast over your small form as you began picking up the volleyballs on the floor.

 You glanced up to see Tsukishima looking down at you, curiosity clear in his gold eyes.

 “What is it?” You asked, ignoring the quickening of your heart. What was wrong with you?

 “Why did you do that?” he asked, beginning to pick up the balls.

 “What do you mean?” You sighed tiredly, you just wanted to go home. You had no energy left in your body to argue with the snarky male before you.

 “You knew that I didn’t turn in the paper… why did you lie to the professor like that?” He asked quietly.

 “Well…” your eyes slid over to him before looking down at the ball in your hands. “I knew that the professor would cut you some slack since you are one of his favorite students… plus… it would be bad if you got a zero, right? You would’ve failed the class…” You trailed off, your eyes glancing back up at him, taking notice to the small smirk that began to cover his lips.

 “- and we can’t afford to lose one of our players! You’re tall and stupid but you’re a decent player so that’s why I did it! I didn’t want to hurt the team just because you were being stupid and forgetful!” You said, voice annoyed as you all but slammed the volleyball into his arms. “Hurry up and put those away, I want to go home.” you huffed, stalking away.

 You hadn’t noticed the small smile that overtook his face as he watched you walk away.

 “Are you ready to go?” You asked once you guys had finished cleaning up, Kyoutani nodded, grabbing his bag from the floor.

 “Hold on.” a hand grabbed the back of your jacket, yanking you back into a warm and broad chest.

 You blinked up to see Tsukishima peering down at you, eyebrows raised. 

 You could feel your face burn at his proximity and as you stumbled away from him. 

 “W-What is it now?” You stuttered out.

 “Here. Professor said to give it to you by the end of the day. I just had to reprint it out.” he said, handing you his midterm.

 Your eyebrows shot up. “Wait, you actually did the assignment?”

 “It was already done, I just forgot to submit it.” he said, shrugging.

 “And I thought you were just lazy and didn’t do it at all.” You said in awe, eyes skimming through the papers.

 “Don’t put me in with the likes of you.” he snorted, eyes rolling, although there was an unseen fondness swimming within those golden orbs, unseen to you at least. It was entirely apparent to Kyoutani who seemed to have a larger scowl on his face.

 “Shut up stupid! I’m going to grade your paper harshly now!” you hissed, glaring at him.

 “You can try,” he drawled out. “But I did the assignment perfectly. I shouldn’t get anything less than an A.”

 “We’ll see.” you snapped.

 ****

 “Stupid Tsukishima. Does he have to be perfect at everything?” You grumbled to yourself as you finished grading his paper.

 He was right.

 He did the assignment perfectly.

 You shouldn’t have said anything to the professor, especially if he was going to be so smug about it.

 Why was he so infuriating? 

 You could see the flash of his smirk behind your lids when you blinked, it caused your heart to race, your fist to clench tightly together. You just wanted to slap that stupid smirk off of his stupid gorgeous face and -

 Damn it.

 It seemed like recently your thoughts were completely consumed by him. 

 “Speak of the devil.” You muttered to yourself when you noticed who was calling you.

 “What do you want?” You hissed.

 “Oh, good you are awake.” His rang smoothly through the speaker.

 “Yeah because I stayed up late to grade your midterm, so I didn’t have to worry about it over the weekend.” You huffed, sitting back in your chair.

 “Well what’s the verdict?” he asked smugly. 

 You could feel your nostrils flaring in anger at his tone. “You got an A. Which is surprising to me since you’re the biggest moron that I know.” 

 “I already told you not to lump into the same category as you.” 

 “I’m hanging up now.” you announced, your blood boiling at his comment.

 “Wait. Go open your door.” he demanded.

 You frowned. “Why would I do that?”

 “Just do it and hurry up.” you could all but see his eyes rolling.

 You huffed angrily, stalking over to your front door, and yanking it open to reveal the blonde male smirking at you.

 You could feel your brows furrow as you tried to register what was happening.

 Tsukishima, your enemy, was standing at the front of your home, cladded in his team jacket and joggers, and he was holding a bag.

 “Took you long enough.” he said, removing the phone from his ear and stepping past you into your home.

 He was already removing his shoes and placing them on the shoe rack near your front door, heading towards your kitchen.

 “Are you just going to stand there all night?” he called out, never looking back.

 That comment snapped you out of your confusion, you quietly closed the door, following after the blonde that was beginning to make tea like he was in his own home and not someone else's.

 “What are you doing?” You asked quietly, eyes following his every movement. 

 “Just be quiet and sit down.” he said simply, and for some reason… you actually listened.

 You wracked your brain for all the reasons as to why Tsukishima was in your home this late at night, using your kitchen.

 You snapped back to reality when he placed a plate and a mug in front of you. 

 Your eyebrows raised slowly, but you couldn’t help the twinkle in your eyes as you gazed at the treat before you.

 A slice of cake, but the strawberry shortcake from that bakery to be exact. The sweetness of the strawberries and cream, along with the earthy scent of the tea, caused a delicious warmth to swell up in your body.

 “How did you -”

 “It’s a thank you.” he cut you off, pulling up a chair across from you, tea and cake sitting in front of him. “For helping me out with the paper.”

 You couldn’t help the smile that began to stretch across your lips, Tsukishima seemed shy almost, embarrassed maybe? Whatever it was, it was a pleasant change from his usual scowl and smirk.

 “Did you wait long?” you asked quietly, carefully cutting into the cake. “They aren’t even open at this hour…”

 “No, the line wasn’t too bad, I went after practice finished.” he said, glancing over at you. It was a partial lie, Tsukishima did wait a long time, but he did go after practice had finished.

 “Why did you wait this long to come over then?” you asked, sighing in pleasure as you took a bite.

 There was a reason why this bakery was so famous for their strawberry shortcake, it was the best cake you had ever had.

 “I thought you might’ve been too busy in the evening, since you promised coach you would hand in those data forms tomorrow… and the in class activity we did today… you said you would grade tonight and get it back to us Monday…” he trailed off quietly, cutting into his slice.

 You blinked at him, the thumping in your heart increasing.

 Since when was he so observant with you?

 “Since always. You’ve just never noticed.” he said, gold eyes boring into your own.

 You could feel your face heating up, shit, did you really ponder that aloud?

 What was this feeling bubbling up in your gut? It burned and turned pleasantly the longer you stared at him.

 A sudden shyness washed over you as you broke eye contact, eyes casting back down to the cup of tea that was now resting between your hands.

 “O-Oh.” 

 It was silent again, it wasn’t awkward, but there was definitely something lingering heavily in the air.

 You just couldn’t place your finger on it.

 “You have something…” Tsukishima began to say, suddenly reaching over, his strong fingers gently grasped your chin, tilting it up, thumb beginning to brush at the corner of your lips.

 Without even thinking about it, your tongue darted out, swiping across his thumb, tasting the saltiness of his skin and the sweetness of the cream that had lingered at the corner of your mouth.

 Tsukishima’s eyes darkened considerably; air rushing out of his nose as he exhaled deeply. His thumb rubbing against your lower lip. 

 Your eyes glazed over, lips parting slightly, inviting him entrance to your mouth. Tsukishima’s thumb pushed past your lips, resting on your tongue. Your eyes fluttered shut, your tongue gently running along the pad of his thumb.

 You could feel the blood roaring in your ears, your stomach twisting in arousal.

 “Fuck.” he whispered, the sound of a chair being pushed back, his thumb leaving the wetness of your mouth.

 It all happened so fast, by the time you had opened your eyes Tsukishima was hauling you out of your chair and up on the counter. His large hand grasped your face firmly before slamming his lips against yours.

 You gasped, allowing his tongue to snake his way in, exploring every inch of your wet cavern.

 You couldn’t help the moan that tore through your throat, your arms coming up to wrap around his shoulders, fingers sliding into the blonde locks at the back of his head, your legs wrapping around his hips.

 Fuck, you couldn’t get enough of this. He was everywhere, warm and solid against your body; all you could smell was him, all you could taste was him and fuck did he taste good. You could still taste the sweetness of cream on his tongue, the tartness of the strawberries, and him.

 It was intoxicating.

 You were drowning in everything that was Tsukishima and fuck did you like it. The way his big hands gripped at your face, your waist, pulling you closer, kissing you deeper, it was too much.

 But it also wasn’t enough.

 “What are you - ahh - what are you doing?” you whimpered out, eyes rolling into the back of your head as he trailed his hot lips against your throat, sucking and biting at every inch of it.

 “What do you think I’m doing you idiot?” he breathed against the shell of your ear. He grinded his hips against yours causing the loud moan to escape your lips, he was hard against you.

 “I don’t…” you whined softly as he grabbed your hips, pressing you tightly against his crotch, grinding against you sinfully. “I don’t understand… Tsukki… Kei.” you whined again, hips bucking up on their own, aching for more friction.

 Fuck you were so wet, so hot and bothered, you needed him to touch you more.

 “Fuck.” he hissed out, eyes squeezing tightly together as you whined out his name. “Fuck… you’re so infuriating. You still don’t get it do you?” he growled out, nipping at your lobe as his ragged breathing increased. 

 You couldn’t muster up any words, all that escaped your lips was a drawn-out moan as one of his hands reached up and massaged one of your breasts harshly. 

 “I like you, Y/n. I’ve liked you since the very beginning. But you never… fuck…” he hissed as you slipped a hand under his shirt, nails dragging against his smooth skin. You could feel the muscles of his stomach flexing beneath your touch, the pace of his hips increasing against yours.

 “You never noticed.” he finally growled out, reaching up and yanking your shirt off your body. “The only time you ever paid attention to me was when I made you mad, you simple minded woman. It’s so easy to get you riled up…” he kissed you harshly now, teeth knocking together before he bit into your lip harshly, causing your nails to dig further into his chest.

 “But then in class when you lied straight-faced to the professor… and then when you looked at me with that sweet expression, and those wide eyes… I couldn’t help but wonder what other kinds of faces you can make for me.” he finished quietly. His breathing was labored, and his lips were swollen but the intensity of his gaze caused your body to squirm.

 “What do you say?” he asked, his voice deep and rough, his grip on you was still tight, but his hips had stilled, he was pulled back slightly from you, allowing you space to breathe.

 “Please.” You whimpered out, tears springing up in your eyes, you were too riled up now, body too hot and aching for release.

 You needed him. You needed Tsukishima to touch you more, you needed him to whisper filth into your ear, you needed to feel his skin sliding against yours, and most of all, you needed him be buried deep inside of you.

 “I need to hear you say it Y/n.” He grasped your jaw, angling your face up to his as he stared down at you. “Say it.”

 You could feel your lower lip quivering, you were aching for it, aching for him. “Kei please! Just - just fuck me already!” you wailed. “What are you waiting for!? Just fuck m-” he yanked you off of the counter, your legs wrapping tightly around his waist as he carried you to your couch, dropping you down haphazardly before his hands were everywhere, ripping the clothes off your body until you were completely bare.

 He stared shamelessly at your nakedness, eyes running over every curve of your body. His hands rested on your bent needs, pulling them open and staring openly at your glistening cunt.

 “Don’t look.” you whimpered, moving one of your hands to cover yourself up. He easily knocked your hand away.

 “Don’t hide yourself from me.” he said as he moved to remove the rest of his clothing. 

 Tsukishima was beautiful, long, and lean, his muscular frame exposed to your greedy eyes as you scanned his body.

 Your lips trembled at the sight of his stiff member, leaking precum and standing painfully tall.

 He grasped his cock lazily, his hand easily sliding up and down his shaft as he gazed down at you. His other hand reached down to gather the obscene amount of wetness that was gathering between your legs.

 “You’re soaked,” he moaned, eyes flashing dangerously. “You want me to fuck you? Or do you want me to taste you?”

 You could feel your mouth run dry at his questions.

 Tsukishima’s eyes narrowed slightly, his large hand coming down to swat at your thigh. You gasped the stinging sensation, your arousal spiking dramatically.

 “Answer me.” he demanded.

 Your lips trembled, eyes glazing over with unshed tears, you were so pent up, you needed something, anything that would provide you with some kind of release. 

 It was only for a moment, but there was a flash of gentleness, the hand that had swatted at your thigh rubbed at the skin tenderly. 

 “You’re so beautiful.” he said quietly, and then he was moving to situate himself between your legs, grasping at your thighs before his head ducked down and his hot tongue licked a strip up your soaked slit until it rested on your clit.

 You moaned loudly; your head being thrown back as your body trembled with pleasure.

 His tongue lapped lazily against you, flickering up and down against that swollen bundle of nerves, occasionally dipping further down, sliding into your entrance, tasting you completely before sliding back up.

 It didn’t take long for you to get close to your orgasm. Your body was taut, aching for release. It was too much almost; your fingers tangled tightly in his hair, you couldn’t tell if you were pushing him away or pulling him closer.

 All you knew was that he was giving you everything right now. Tsukishima pulled your clit into his mouth now, sucking hard, his front teeth gently brushing against it.

 Your legs were tense, thighs quacking as you approached your release, the quiet room was filled with your drawn out moans and pants, wet slurping noises escaping your lower half as Tsukishima all but devoured your cunt completely.

You came with a cry, body convulsing against the cushions of the couch, thighs trying to close together, squeezing tightly against Tsukishima’s head. You whimpered brokenly as you tried to wiggle yourself away from the blonde that was still sucking at your clit, but his grip was tight, refusing to let you go, forcing your over sensitive cunt to produce another orgasm.

 In the midst of it all, he yanked himself away, lining his stiff cock against your swollen entrance and then snapping his hips forward, sheathing himself inside of you completely.

 A loud cry tore through your lips, you were still in the middle of your orgasm when he entered, your slick gushing out around him and spilling onto the cushions below.

 “Are you gonna cum again?” he breathed watching you in awe as you struggled to adapt to his size.

 “Fuck you are.” he moaned, your tight walls fluttering around him as your third one ripped through your body. “I can’t believe you came again just from me entering you.” he breathed out, hands resting on your hips.

 Tsukishima gave you no time to adjust, his hips snapping forward harshly as he set a brutal pace.

 You could feel your eyes rolling into the back of your head, your fingers gripping at the couch, needing something, anything to hold on to.

 His cock rubbed against your walls perfectly, your body having no time to keep up with his movement, the stretch burned, the pleasure toe curling. Your legs were wrapped around his waist, pulling him in deeper, keeping him closer.

 Suddenly your world shifted, Tsukishima hauled your body up, forcing you to sit on top of his thick member. You cried out loudly, this new position caused his cock to rub up inside of you at a new angle.

 He never stopped, his large hands gripped at your hips now, forcing you up and down as you rode him, his hips snapping up to meet the downwards roll of your hips.

 All you could do was grip at his broad shoulders weakly, struggling to keep up with his pace, struggling to adjust to the new depth that he reached within you.

 But you couldn’t. You could hardly breathe, you couldn’t think of anything except for Tsukishima and the pleasure he was giving you.

 “Look at you.” he groaned, eyes never leaving your face. “You make the sweetest faces when I’m inside of you.”

 “Kei…” You sobbed. “Please.”

 You weren’t sure what you were asking for at this point, the pleasure was mind numbing, the room was filled with sounds of your moans and his grunts, the wet squelching noises of your cunt as it was being stuffed over and over again was something that might’ve embarrassed you if you had the time to even think about it. 

 But you didn’t, all you could think about was unraveling again, all you could think about Tsukishima Kei. Your enemy, the most annoying man you had ever met, but he was also the most intelligent man you had ever met, the most beautiful man you had ever met, and now he was the only man that you ever wanted to receive pleasure from. 

 You came again with a loud sob, gushing around him, dripping onto his upper thighs, body trembling against his as you collapsed on top of his chest.

 He groaned your name loudly, thrusting up sharply into your cunt once more before spilling himself into your hot center. 

 It felt like time had stopped around you as you struggled to catch your breath. You weren’t sure how long it was that you guys stayed like this.

 But you have never been more tired, more comfortable in your entire life than right now.

 You could feel your eyes drooping down, your face buried into the crook of his neck, his long fingers gently tracing delicate patterns into the skin of your back.

 Tsukishima shifted, easily picking you up, your legs wrapped around his waist, his member still buried deep inside of you. You vaguely remember answering his question about where the bathroom was and soon you found yourself perched up on the bathroom counter. 

 You could feel his cum slowly leaking out of your swollen cunt, trickling down your leg as he gently cleaned you up. You didn’t even remember how you ended up in your bed, but now you were curled up against the tall blonde, wrapped up in the security of his arms as he rubbed your back gently.

 “I still hate you Kei.” you mumbled against his chest, sighing softly before pressing your lips into his smooth skin.

 “I know.” he smirked against your hair, pressing a gentle kiss on the crown of your head. “Go to sleep. We’ll go and get breakfast tomorrow.”

 Okay maybe you didn’t hate him, but he was still infuriating to you. 

[maddgicalgirl]

Paracosm Resources <3

Need help bringing your paracosm to life? Try these free resources!

⚠️ Updates always pending! Suggestions always welcome! Feel free to message me any tips or questions <3 ⚠️

(Cont. below cut, or with real time updates on this google doc!)

Art Programs

FireAlpaca - 2D Art Program, Animation. Where I make most of my digital art, and paint the frames for my animations :) It is free to use, and easy to learn and use! It can make basic animations as well, such as gifs. It requires download.

Krita - 2D Art Program. Professional, free digital paint software :) I have not used it before, though I have heard good things.

GIMP - 2D Art Program, Photo Manipulation. It's free to use, but I do not like it/recommend it highly. But! If FireAlpaca and Krita don't float your stoat, try Gimp! For 2D art, but also able to emulate Photoshop to a degree ^^

Inkscape - 2D Art Program. Free to use digital illustration software. Makes 2D art :)

Of course, who can forget classics like good old MS Paint, and the new and exciting 3D MS Paint, which can both be used to create some really neat things! Classic MS Paint is available here in browser form! If you need that. I just think it's neat!

Art AI

Petalica Paint - Coloring Software. An in browser, watercolor manga style coloring software, which can (almost) effortlessly color in any of your line art pieces! I've played around with it for my Thorn illustration style piece, and enjoyed it! It is free to use, and can take user input to make the colorations more precise.

ArtBreeder - 3D Realism Software. Using Artbreeder, you can create lifelike images of your paras, planets, or potentially even fursona, using the intricate AI they let you work with for free! A premium version exists, but most functions are fully usable without - though I recommend donating ^^ You can randomly generate, or prune and shape what you make until its perfect! Slow to use and get the hang of, but very worth it! Artbreeder is also pioneering an intriguing animation software to go alongside their product! Browser based.

3D Software

Blender - 3D Modeling, Animation. The best (in my opinion) free 3D modelling software.

MagicaVoxel - 3D Pixel Art. Free to use! Could be interesting :)

MikuMikuDance - 3D Rigging. Anime style rigging and animation software, free to use, and certified internet artefact! Has stood the test of time, and is still used and loved today. Can support ports of many kinds of assets, including, I believe, those from Blender, and of course those that are downloaded. DA has a bunch of old MMD communities you can raid for assets!

Animaze - Face Rigger. Use 3D models and a webcam to watch your paras talk! Models can be made in Blender, downloaded online, or even from CHARAT V, CHARAT GENESIS sister app!

Character Creators

CHARAT GENESIS - 2D Character Creator. Browser based anime style character creator, with multiple crops and poses, and infinitely customizable options. It is legitimately insane. Has a 3D function called CHARAT V which can apparently convert characters made in CHARAT GENESIS into 3D models compatible with Face Rig and Animaze!

V-Katsu - 3D Character Creator. Free on steam! Anime style, intensive character creator, by the same people who made Koikatsu, and Koikatsu Party, two amazingly detailed 3D hentai makers. While V-Katsu is a SFW VTuber maker, if you're looking for NSFW anime content, you could always spend roughly $70 on the full NSFW versions. V-Katsu requires a translation mod (free online as well) which you have to install, or the ability to read Kanji <3 Works with VR tech.

V-Roid Studios - 3D Character Creator. Free on steam! Anime style, fairly in depth character creator, that allows for some degree of digital 3D hand sculpting, particularly with their amazing hair engine, to get your paras looks perfect!

And, of course, Picrew has thousands of character creators of various styles and quality uploaded by the artists who made them! Also, honestly I think we as a society should embrace making dinky chibis in Gacha Life. IDK why everyone is mean to the gacha kids, like we weren't all cringe at some point,

World Design

HomeStyler - 3D and 2D Room Designer. Make a model of an interior for a home or building, using real 1:1 furniture of IRL brands! Apparently this is free to use, though there is a premium version, and  it offers 3D and 2D models.

Map to World - 3D Planet Maker. Turn your fantasy world into a 3D model of the planet. Put maps directly on, or design the surface and textures of your world. Takes a lot of getting used to, but it is AMAZING. Free to use, and browser based!

PlanetMaker - 3D Planet Maker. Make a customized 3D planet! Free to use browser site! I have never used this, but I would love to mess around with it sometime! Allows you to add orbital rings, change textures, and more at the click of a mouse.

If on sale, I also recommend snagging a copy of the Sims, particularly 3 or 4, for character creation and world design. Maybe not the best gameplay without mods, but it's also a load of fun, and very easy to add custom content to! Minecraft also. But you just need Minecraft, in general. Beyond its ability to fairly faithfully recreate structures from your paracosms, it's just Good.

Game Creators

Maybe you wanna turn your paracosm into a cool game idk, just thought I'd put these here!

Construct 3 - 2D Game Creator. Beginner level game making :) Drag-and-drop if/then style programming.

GameSalad - Codeless 2D Game Creator. Drag and drop style/no coding, beginner friendly. Free version available!

Solpeo - 2D Game Creator. HTML5 based game engine for 2D and isometric game development. Some programming knowledge needed. Platforms supported: Chrome, Firefox, Internet Explorer 9+. Free version available.

Stencyl - Codeless 2D Game Creator. Drag and drop style building/no coding skills needed. Has editable templates!

Scratch - 2D Game Creator. Very easy to use and totally free, though relatively basic!

Unity - 3D, 2D, and VR Game Creator. Make games with 3D software. Import your own assets (Blender compatible) or download free options, or buy the rights to models. Works for 3D and 2D games. Free version available, and now works with VR tech!

Unreal Engine - 3D Game Creator. Extremely advanced 3D game developer. Highly customizable. Free to use!

Twine - Text-based Game Creator. Use a map to make a branching paths text-based story game. Free to use.

Squiffy - Text-based Game Creator. have used Squiffy and it can make some really, truly incredible things. Can take a while to pick up, and learn how to use to its full potential. Free to use! Has an online and offline library of player creations you can get inspiration from!

Quest - Text-based Game Creator. I've never used this, but it seems cool! Use it to make interactive text-based DND game adventures in browser.

Ren'Py - Visual Novel Creator. Visual novel engine, that is well acclaimed, and of course, free to use!

Companion AI

Replika - 3D Companion.

Kajiwoto - Chatbot Companion. Customizable, learning AI you can shape into a personality. Communicates via Discord like chat box.

Organization

Toyhou.se - Character Gallery. A customizable library where you can upload all of your paras and characters for the public to view! Free to use, but requires a premium member to invite you!

Refsheet - Character Gallery. I haven't used it before, but I've heard good things, and that it's a suitable alternative to toyhou.se if you can't get an invite!

Notebook.AI - Character Gallery. I haven't used it before, but I've heard good things, and that it's a suitable alternative to toyhou.se if you can't get an invite!

World Anvil - World Building Toolset. Like character galleries, but for worlds and their lore :)

Scabard - World Building Toolset. Aimed at DnD campaigners, but I reckon it'll be useful for many!

YARPS - World Building Toolset. More focused around story and lore than Scabard or World Anvil, and looks beautiful! Still in its prototype stage, however.

Pinterest - Photo Organizer. Look at, collect, and sort images into boards. Personalizes your feed based on that, and is free to use and join! However, unlike their myriad of wonderful recipes, DIY tutorials, and the likes - a lot of the images are uploaded by second parties and not credited, so be careful reuploading anything you find! Also great for finding outfits and art inspo for your paras!

Generators

Fantasy Name Generator - Name Generators. Does what it says on the tin! Generates fantasy names. Is a lovely website, run by a purportedly lovely woman.

Fantasy Map Generator - Map Generator. Randomly generates a fictional map, which you can view in 2D or 3D.

Donjon RPG Generator - Multiple Generators. Can make maps, weapons, items, etc.

Seventh Sanctum - Multiple Generators. One of my favorites from high school! Does all kinds of things - the standard items, spells, and names - but also prompts, backstories, characters, and even comedy generators!

ShindanMaker - Multiple Generators. User created and uploaded, any kind of generator you can imagine, of varying complexity. And when I say any generator? I mean ANY generator.

Audio

Audacity - Record and Edit Audio. What can't Audacity do? I love Audacity to death. At surface level, it records audio. I've used it to record voices for my paras, and get audio for animations and games I've worked on. I cannot recommend it enough. Comprehensive editing, and with some investigation, it can do so, so much more than just record simple dialogue.

FL Studios - Compose. Compose music with an unlimited free trial. Upgrades available for purchase!

Indie Game Music - Royalty Free Music Library. Free to use Indie Game Music. What it says on the box!

AudioJungle - Royalty Free Music and Audio Library. Thousands of free to use audio clips!

Online Piano - Someone could use this, for recording, or just messing around. I've seen plenty of paras who play piano, this could just be used for fun!

Online Guitar - Same reasons as above, but this site looks kinda sketchy. Use at your own risk or reward! Audio

For real, if you ever need music, sound effects, or really any MP3 clips that can be used without infringing on copyright laws, just search 'royalty free' (music/audio/insert thing here) same applies for photos! Make sure the source is reputable, however.

Tutorials

W3Schools - Coding. Learn the basics of coding, for free, online!

Miscellaneous

Debut Video Capture - Screen Recorder. Record game footage and let's plays for free! Professional and home versions. I see a few of our community members have paras who run YouTube channels, and I thought these might help! It could be a nice way to connect your parames. YouTube quality <3

Pixton - Comic Maker. Comic making website. I have no experience with this at all, but some may find it useful!

Picfont - Image Editor. Puts customizable text on an image. I used these for @paraesthetics paracosm header edits <3 It has a premium version (???) but the free version has all functions, but it crashes regularly (honestly seems timed :/) but once you get it down, it's a very quick process, and you won't have to worry about that at all.

Itch.io - Publishing. You can publish your self made games here :)

Korsakow - ??? Described as, "The Future of Storytelling" and is apparently a way to create interactive films. I *just* found out about this, but thought I should include it for someone who may know how to use and appreciate it! Free? Unknown, at the moment.

Tips and Tricks

Animation Done Easy

Our forefather's of internet animation used MS Paint, Windows Movie Maker, and Audacity. All of these, or their equivalents, are free on standard computers. I, personally, use FireAlpaca - which works just as well, if not better, than MS Paint for animation - but takes longer, and definitely lacks that retro feeling. I also use my trackpad to draw and animate everything, so its doable, but probably not totally comfortable, to animate like this for most people :)

⚠️ Updates always pending! Suggestions always welcome! Feel free to message me any tips or questions <3 ⚠️

[shihalyfie]

So um I’ve thought into this and I guess I just need to spill (feel free to delete)

I’ve noticed that Joe’s crest has a lot of translations and I always felt like none of them really fit? To use two examples that come to kind. When he (almost) sacrifices himself to save T.K. and unlocks Gomamon’s ultimate and the whole Cody lying incident (sorry I’m using the English names, I’ve watched most of adventure subbed but not 02).

Reliability is used in the dub and that works for the first but not the second

Honesty is used in the official sub and that (ironically) works for the second but not the first

And I’m not sure where anyone got faith

So I propose….Integrity.

It means doing the right thing no matter what and I think it comes the closest to the Japanese word (I’m not fluent hence why I’m sending this to you to get a second opinion ^^;)

It works for the first incident because he made a promise and even if it means he’s gonna drown he’s gonna keep it because it’s the right thing to do.

And it works for the second because morality is complicated and sometimes doing the right thing (getting Joe to come help) involves doing the wrong thing (lying).

Translation is a very complicated art form that involves a lot more complexities than simply happening to know Japanese, so this is the kind of question that may be better brought up to the experienced translators in this fanbase, but I like the idea! The two kanji in the word mean "fidelity" and "truth", so basically anything that encapsulates those nuances should ideally work.

"Faith(fulness)" actually happens to be an official translation; it's from the official soundtrack writing it this way in English for Jou's theme. I think it's meant to be "faith" in the sense of "good faith", meaning Jou is a person who acts in good honor and that people can put good faith in it, but the drawbacks are that it being "reversed" (which arguably might actually be a similar issue with "reliability", in that it focuses more on others' reaction to the Crest holder than it does on the Crest holder's own good moral character) make it a bit confusing, and that people might associate it with religious faith instead of faithfulness.

[kotokoharrow]

Case Study 001: Haruka Sakurai

Note that this analysis is based around my own views. I do not present my way of interpreting Haruka as fact, and I am sharing this to see if others agree with me. If you disagree, you are more than welcome to say so and we can discuss it!

Content Warning: This analysis contains discussion of: Animal abuse and death, child abuse and death, emotional abuse, child neglect, murder, flashbacks and nightmares. Please proceed with caution if you are sensitive to any of these topics!

Evidence List:

Haruka’s Profile

Haruka’s Voice Drama

Undercover

Weakness

Two Breaths Walking

Voice Line

Timeline Convo

Character Analysis

A young male prisoner, quiet with downcast eyes. During Es’ early interrogations, he offered only a few constrained words in response. However, he has gradually become more talkative, forming an emotional bond over the course of his interviews. Once one begins to converse with him, his gentle pre-disposition is revealed.

He has a meek temperament and, even in Milgram, does not appear to be dissatisfied. Barely manages to communicate with Es and the other prisoners. However, during conversations, as if some meaning is lost along the way, there is a disconnect.

Haruka is a teenager with a very low opinion of himself, shown in his attitude in his voice drama and the lyrics of his song. When he appears in Undercover, he is shown wringing his hands together, avoiding looking at the camera, and when he finally does shows an unhappy expression. These pieces of his body language show that he is an anxious boy.

Haruka doesn’t appear to be very bright, with his song being written in hiragana, and he struggles to follow along with everything that Es says to him in his voice drama. He even says himself that he isn’t very bright. However, this is likely a result of his mother’s treatment of him, as he hasn’t been allowed to develop as he should have.

The shot in Undercover that shows his room shows young children’s toys on the floor. This, along with his speech patterns, show that he remains in a child’s mindset, despite being 17 years old. I believe that this is due to him becoming ‘stuck’ at an age where he experienced a traumatic event as a child - the event that revolved around fireworks and the girl in his MV.

Haruka’s primary motivation is love. He was neglected and emotionally abused by his mother his whole life, and so has been deprived of the love that most people receive from their parents. Despite love being his motivation, he shows in his interrogation questions that he doesn’t really understand what it is - he just knows that he wants it.

While his primary motivation is love, Haruka’s primary fear is abandonment. He is also afraid of being deceived, which again ties into his fear of abandonment. Haruka believes that everyone will leave him when they learn what he has done, and also believes that he will bring misfortune to others. This belief of bringing misfortune to others is likely a belief that his mother gave to him.

Haruka avoids situations and things that remind him of his trauma, such as animals and small children. This, as well as imagery in his MV, his mother’s treatment of him and his general personality, lead me to believe that he experiences PTSD.

The kanji in his given name means ‘far’ or ‘distant’, which likely references his personality, and the fact that he finds it difficult to get close to and communicate with others, due to having been deprived of connections for most of his life.

MV Analysis

I believe that Weakness takes place after Haruka has committed his crimes, and that it’s showing events from his past in the form of nightmares and flashbacks, which is why they appear distorted and there is heavy symbolism. As a result of this, even what we see in the MV is ambiguous as to whether it really happened, as dreams are not always literal and even with flashback-type nightmares, key facts can appear different to what happened in reality.

At the beginning of the MV, we see Haruka sitting in front of a dressing table, looking at himself in the mirror. The table is likely his mothers, as the perfume bottles on it seem to belong to a woman. Behind Haruka, we can see a window that shows that it’s daytime, but when his reflection in the mirror changes into his younger self, we can see that it is night-time outside (with red sky and a full moon). As the image changes, I believe this is Haruka experiencing a flashback, or perhaps a sign that he is having a nightmare.

I also believe that Haruka experiences PTSD as a result of his mother being emotionally abusive and neglectful towards him. I believe that this mistreatment when he was a young child explains a lot of his current personality - his behaviour fits in well with the behaviours of people who survive emotional abuse (doubting his own perception of things, a very strong negative opinion of himself, fear of abandonment).

There are many lyrics in Weakness that I believe point towards Haruka’s mother being emotionally abusive. The notable ones to me are: ‘Tell me, why are you drifting away from me? / Tell me, why do you say it’s my fault?’ and ‘If I tried and couldn’t say it / You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless”’. I believe that these lyrics are directed at Haruka’s mother.

As for imagery in the MV, when Haruka initially falls backwards from the dressing table, he falls into the liquid from his mother’s perfume, which shows how her treatment of him has surrounded him. Later, while he’s walking alongside her happily, she barely looks back down at him, and when adult Haruka pushes his younger self back, the following image is shown:

I believe the drawing in the background is meant to be Haruka’s mother, and his cruel treatment of his younger self is meant to show that he has internalised his mother’s abuse, going on to blame and punish himself for what he believes she would blame and punish him for.

Later, it shows Haruka as a child watching the fireworks with a girl his own age, whose face is blacked out like his mother’s. While it’s not clear what exactly happened, something bad happened to the girl, and she vanished from his life.

This is pure speculation, but I don’t think that Haruka killed the girl. I think something bad happened to her - possibly she even died - and that Haruka blames himself for what happened, whether fairly or unfairly. I believe that what happened was traumatic to Haruka, and he tried to avoid thinking about the bad part by focusing on his memory of the fireworks, which is a part of his denial.

Later, Haruka is petting a dog with his mother. Then, he goes outside to search for the dog, and comes across the dog’s body. Initially, I believed that Haruka had killed the dog, and I still think that this is a highly likely theory, as yellow roses are seen (which in flower language used to represent jealousy), and the lyrics that play during this point are ‘You praised me by saying “You’re crazy” / Thank you, I’ll do my best’ which, to me, alludes to children acting out for attention when they are being neglected, because due to the lack of positive attention they begin to see all forms of attention as a good thing, including negative attention.

However, in the timeline conversations, there is an exchange between Haruka and Shidou where Haruka has bloodied hands, and he tells a concerned Shidou that it comes from a bad habit of his, that when he’s tense he clenches his fists and his nails dig into his palms, causing them to appear bloodied.

Shidou: Sakurai-kun...? Could you show me your hand? Haruka: Hei!? No, this isn’t... it’s n-nothing... Shidou: Lend it to me. ...Your palm is covered in blood. Let’s have it disinfected. This... has it always been like this? Haruka: A-ah... I-it’s a habit... W-When I feel tense I grip my hands really tight, and my nails...

This detail has caused me to wonder if Haruka didn’t actually kill the dog. We see child Haruka looking for the dog nervously, and then appearing horrified when he finds the dogs corpse, then he looks down at his hands and sees blood on them. We also only see adult Haruka bludgeoning the dog. It’s common for people with PTSD to re-experience trauma from different perspectives, or with details changed, so it’s possible that Haruka did not kill the dog.

However, at this point, I think either explanation could be possible, so I’ll leave both of those theories here and move on.

Later, when it shows adult Haruka strangling child Haruka, I believe that this is when Haruka’s Milgram murder takes place. Before he begins strangling his child self, he is seen looking at a memory of himself being ignored by his mother, and becomes enraged, lashing out at his child self and strangling him, seemingly in an act of self-loathing.

However, I believe that Haruka is actually murdering his mother, having finally snapped and let out all of his repressed feelings. After the murder is over, I believe that Haruka was so horrified by what he did, he went into denial - which is something he has practice from doing his whole life - and the details of what he did became distorted.

In conclusion, I believe the following:

The MV takes the form of Haruka’s nightmares, which is why it’s ambiguous, unreliable and distorted

Haruka was emotionally abused and neglected by his mother since childhood

Haruka didn’t kill the girl, but he does blame himself for what happened to her

EITHER: Haruka killed the dog to try and get his mother to notice him, OR Haruka didn’t kill the dog but still in some way blames himself for the dog’s death

Haruka killed his mother directly due to his repressed feelings of anger towards her for abusing and neglecting him

Haruka is horrified by what he did, and on some level is in denial of the facts of what happened

Misc Analysis

Undercover

Haruka’s bedroom has toys that would be more appropriate in the bedroom of a young child. This shows that he is mentally stuck in a child-like state. Interestingly, there is also a drawing of a tree with two snakes that also appears during his MV. I don’t know what this means.

Haruka is shown strangling Es, which backs up the idea that Haruka’s murder happened when he was shown strangling his child self. Haruka’s mouth is wide open, showing that his murder involved heightened emotion on his part. This wasn’t a cold and calculated murder, this was a spur-of-the-moment response to something.

Interrogation Questions

I’m picking a few notable interrogation questions to analyse. In general, though, Haruka’s answers were much simpler than Yuno’s, which shows his child-like mindset and difficulty in understanding things.

Q: If one of your wishes could be granted, what would it be? A: I want to be loved.

Pretty straightforwards. This shows Haruka’s core motivation is to be loved.

Q: When was your first love? A: I don’t know.

Q: What’s the difference between romantic love and just love? A: Don’t they both mean that you like someone?

Q: What’s your ideal date plan? A: I don’t understand.

Despite his core motivation being wanting to be loved, Haruka doesn’t understand much about love, due to having been deprived of it his whole life.

Q: What kind of person is your father? A: I disappointed him.

This is the only time we hear of Haruka’s father. I’d guess that his mother blamed Haruka for his father leaving them, and that’s why he believes that he disappointed his father.

Q: Have you ever had a pet before? A: I have not.

Q: What is your favourite animal? A: I don’t like animals.

Q: What are some things you can’t deal with? A: Small children and animals.

Haruka denies any incident that was traumatic to him.

Q: What do you think of your family? A: I love them.

Despite having been deprived of love from his mother, he still says he loves them.

Q: Tell us what you enjoy doing. A: I like talking with the other prisoners.

Haruka talks about what he’s been doing since coming to Milgram, which implies that he didn’t have much he enjoyed doing beforehand.

Two Breaths Walking

A song about a boy meeting a girl. The girl tries to teach the boy about life, but due to the boy’s mother having taught him about life wrongly, he struggles to understand, and as a result ends up hurting the girl.

With Haruka as the boy, the girl in his MV as the girl, and his mother as the boy’s mother, this directly parallels Haruka’s MV. There isn’t much to talk about, because the parallels are pretty direct. It backs up the idea that Haruka’s mother was abusive, teaching him wrongly through her abuse and neglect.

Voice Drama

Es: Now, let’s begin the interrogation. Prisoner Number 1, Haruka. Haruka: O-Okay… I-I’m sorry… Es: Huh? Do you have something to apologise for? Haruka: U-uh, no… I’m sorry.

This shows us Haruka’s submissive personality. This kind of apologising for any perceived fault is very common in survivors of emotional abuse, because they learnt in the abusive environment that their abuser could find fault in anything, and to lower the severity of abuse, they would apologise. However, as this level of apologising isn’t needed or expected in regular situations, when it carries over it stands out.

Haruka: Ah, uh, um… I didn’t understand whatever it was you were saying. It was difficult. Es: Huh? Haruka: Uh, um… I’m sorry. I’m not that bright. Es: Haruka. What age are you? Haruka: Um… 17 years old, I think. Es: You think? Haruka: Uh, well… I have no interest in my age… I’m sorry.

Haruka isn’t used to having to think for himself, which is also common in survivors of emotional abuse. Abusers try to make their victims dependent on them, they may try to make decisions for their victims, or in the case of abusive parents may speak for them and deprive their children of the ability to develop. Taking into account Haruka’s cover song, I think it’s likely that this was the case with his mother.

Es: The only name left that hasn’t been said is Amane. Haruka: A-Amane. Es: What’s wrong? Haruka: I-I’m not good with them. Children at that age. A-Amane is a good girl, but she brings back b-bad memories.

This is most likely referring to whatever happened with the girl in Haruka’s MV. Haruka avoids thinking about traumatic incidents, even in his nightmares he avoids the details of them. Avoiding triggers of traumatic events is a symptom of PTSD.

Haruka: It’ll happen sometime. I… I… Even though I try to be normal, everything gets ruined. You, everyone, if you knew me… If you knew everything that I did… I’m… gonna be abandoned, that’s bound to happen. Because I’m a selfish killer.

Due to his abuse, Haruka solely blames himself for everything that happens. It’s likely that his mother blames him even for things that weren’t his fault, so this thought process stuck. Haruka’s primary motivation is love, and his biggest fear is abandonment.

Glitched Voice Line

Then what should I have done instead!? Tell me! Tell me so even I can understand!

I believe that this line from Haruka is addressed to his mother who he killed. He felt that he had no way to gain her love, and he is looking to her to tell him what to do.

Other Theories

Twin Theory

A theory I’ve seen says that the child in Haruka’s MV isn’t Haruka as a child, and is actually his twin. I don’t think we have any evidence to support this. I think that, given how much of Haruka’s MV is made up with abstract imagery, we should be careful with interpreting it too literally.

Autistic Haruka Theory

I have no issue with people seeing Haruka as being autistic, however, all of the theories about him being autistic seem to come from an outdated view of autism. I am autistic myself, and while I can recognise a lot of autistic traits in Haruka’s behaviour, I don’t think autism is what they were going for. I think that Haruka’s ‘autistic traits’ are, instead, supposed to show that he’s in a child-like mentality after a trauma that took place in his childhood, and that his behaviour has been strongly influenced by his abusive mother. I believe we have evidence that points towards this specifically, but no evidence that points specifically towards Haruka being autistic.

Unexplained

Why does Haruka say that his hands bleed when he’s nervous and what connection does that have to the blood on his hands in the MV?

What is the significance of the necklace that Haruka wears?

What is the significance of the girl in the MV?

What happened while watching the fireworks?

Did Haruka kill the girl?

What’s the significance of the tree and the snakes?

Final Verdict

My Verdict: Innocent.

I’m very glad that the popular vote determined that Haruka was innocent! My major reasons for this are: 

1. His MV is the most abstract right now - it’s unclear exactly what happened, so any judgement based on his crime is going to be difficult. 2. For Haruka to open up more, I think he needs to be reassured that he will not be abandoned. I think that Haruka’s second MV will give us more details, because we have reassured him that he will not be abandoned.

Thank you for reading this ridiculously long thing! I hope to write these for all of the prisoners, and eventually catch up to where we currently are with the voting! If you enjoyed my analysis, please consider sharing so it can reach a wider audience!