#kanej hot takes

[neptune-scythe]

quick thing about the nuances of desire that is often over looked, specifically in regards to touch aversion

the argument I get the most when discussing Kanej having a relationship without any physical intimacy or touch is that they both want that

but here's the thing

yes they both express desires for touch or physical intimacy, but it's not as black and white as that.

there's three points I wanna make here

the first is there's a difference between wanting something and fantasizing about it. and by that I mean you can like the idea of something, you can have a desire for that idea, but it isn't the actual thing. so for the topic of touch, you can like the idea of a hug or a kiss, you can desire to experience the same feeling from it that other people do or that you think you should, but in reality it isn't actually enjoyable to you, it doesn't give you the feeling you want it to. you want it, maybe even enough to try it again and again, but it may never give you what you want out of it.

the second point ties into the first one nicely of being that you can want the feeling that touch is supposed to give, so you think you want the touch as well. but in reality you just haven't separated the two. you want the comfort, the safety, the closeness, the protection, or whatever else that you're supposed to feel when you touch someone, you might not actually want or enjoy the touch itself or get those feelings from it. but once you separate the two you can find those feelings you're searching for in other ways that are actually comfortable and beneficial.

and the third point is that sometimes you just want to want something. you want to have the desire to touch someone, to be able to feel comfortable with it, but you don't. you might try and convince yourself that you do want it because you think you're supposed to, but the actual desire just isn't there. you want to have the desire rather than actually having the desire.

so for Kaz and Inej, yes they both expressed desires for physical intimacy, but it's not as black and white as "they said they want it so that's what they need to be happy"

desire is much deeper than that, and humans are much more nuanced and layered and unpredictable.

and yes there are also times when people just have desires without any of the extra stuff, but given their history I personally don't think Kaz or Inej are that type. There are too many conflicting feelings and experiences for it to be that simple in my opinion.

and if there's one thing Leigh Bardugo is good at it's making deep, multifaceted, and complex characters, and that's what I enjoy so much about them. they have the capacity to portray all those nuances of desire that other characters just can't, and that's a very beautiful and important thing ... especially for y/a books. to capture the human experience, to explain the aspects of humanity that are hard to discover in one's self or notice in other people. it's a bridge to deeper understanding, it's putting that ability to understand in a language that is more accessible and universal than an intellectual self help book or an essay.

so to circle back to my overarching point, desire isn't a simple thing. thinking "I want __" doesn't necessarily translate perfectly the way it presents, and there are many complexities to the human mind that are unpredictable and surprising.

[dragonqueenstormwitch]

inej coming back from the sea to visit kaz in ketterdam

[heartrender6]

ace/aro people interpreting/projecting their identities to kaz and inej is fine and lovely but it weirds be tf out when allo people headcanon them as ace bc it kinda contributes to the stereotype that ace people "dont like sex" because they are "damaged" or "broken" and i haaaate that so much. like when ace people do it its usually like "yeah they're my blorbos and they're ace because i said so" and thats awesome and funky. but then when allo people do it its like "aww kaz doesnt like to touch people so that means he's ace" like stop. stop that. please stop

[oatm3al-c00kies]

ngl now that shadow and bone has been cancelled i actually appreciate season 2 a lot more than i did when i first watched it.. like now that i know its not messing up future storylines (like inej being a pirate already and not having her own boat, the "stay in ketterdam" lines happening, kaz beating up the dregs already, generally everything being super sped through) i can appreciate that at least we got a handful of the fun and iconic stuff!! like we got to hear those actors say those lines!!! and we got to see so many great scenes!

however. i will forever be mourning the fact that we got NOOOO matthias & crows content and never will (genuinely i'm in so much pain abt this), the fact that they killed off david already, and the fact that we'll never see zoyalai come to life on the screen :((( ALSO THE FACT THAT WE LEFT OFF WITH MALINA NOT TOGETHER that was actually so cruel of them What The Hell we deserved our cute little epilogue (i know not everyone liked it but i did!!)

BUT at the same time we also wont have to worry about them messing any of that up ANDDD we dont have to see the absolutely heartshattering scene of matthias dying onscreen!!! so maybe it's Ok

[totchipanda]

I AM REBLOGGING THIS AGAIN BECAUSE I HAVE THOUGHTS in this essay i will

Ok i considered actually writing an essay but really no one has time for that. But i do have thoughts.

This scene is brilliantly acted by Freddy in particular. This is Inej’s vision so we are seeing kaz from her perspective, and it's not the same Kaz as we see in the rest of the show. In her vision, he is stoic and still. We see nothing on his face.

She believes he will respect her boundaries, so he disarms.her and asks for permission. She wants to say yes to him, should he ask, so she says yes. She wants to kiss him, or for him to kiss her, so he leans in to kiss her.

My theory is that she doesn't know how to kiss for pleasure, so while they come really close to it (did i spy a lip touch??) neither of truly enacts a kiss.

Oh totchi, thats so silly, of course she knows how to kiss. Does she though? She was 14 when she was taken, and i doubt she was running around Ravka kissing everyone she met. She may have been more interested in performing than kissing before then. In thr Menagerie she was an unwilling participant. Sure shes probably seen people kissing and enjoying it many, many times over the years, but seeing a skill happening does not mean she's going to know how to kiss because she wants to on the first try.

And she's never seen Kaz kissing anyone, so she doesn't assume that he knows how either, as well as respecting her boundaries and autonomy in doing so. This Kaz is an illusion. He's very close to the "real" Kaz so we don't notice much of a difference. But the subtlety is there, brought to life by Freddy and Amita.

for @totchipanda | that scene

[jkriordanverse]

Soc characters as dads (hcs//what i feel they'd be like)

Kaz - 100% baby whisperer. He's been caught several times having ribbons and glitter in his hair from tea parties with his kids and he doesn't care. Criminal prodigy in training. He even brought them a small suit complete with a diamond encrusted on a stick that looks strangely like his cane. Inej catches him baby talking in his office several times, and it goes sth like this.

Kaz, doing taxes: you see, to do taxes, you take this number and multiplies with this. and then divide it with this Baby Kanej, reaching for a shiny object: *baby babbles* Kaz: aha, correct! You are a genius, and i see you have an eye for things. Excellent *proud dad moment* Baby Kanej: *more baby babble*

Wylan - It's wonderful. Wylan's 10 times the dad Van Eck will ever be. He's going to help this child in every way he can, even though he can't read them stories, he makes up his own, and he's quite amazing. When the kid's finally learned how to read, their roles flip and he starts reading Wylan stories. They have tea together and he teaches them the flute and even though the child seems to be quite terrible at it he's proud anywas.

Jesper - This baby's blowing up things and shooting by the age of 5. He's taking this child everywhere he goes (unless it's somewhere dangerous), he's showing it all his friends. he's teaching it all the Jespery moves and the child is getting the full how to Jesper on the dancefloor guide 101. He's showing the kid how to shoot, and he's teaching them secret names for each member of the Dregs (Kaz found out Jesper was calling him names this way)

Matthias - Afraid of his child. Oh no, they're scrunching their face. That means the baby is....erm....mad...right? At what? He's panicking now, he doesn't really know what to do? goo goo ga ga? What does that mean? Maybe Nina is more of an expert on this foreign language.... (//I think he ADORES his child and his hot wife but overall doesn't really know what to do with the kid and handles the baby like you might handle a piece of precious China).

[youareiron-andyouarestrong]

💙for kanej, let’s goooooooo 🫶

drunken/tipsy kiss

For the record, Kaz is blaming Jesper for this one.

To be fair, Kaz blames Jesper for a lot of things. Like teaching Inej's male cousins the words to that stupid Kaelish love song, "Black is the Color," or some such thing, or insisting on trying to introduce color to Kaz's wardrobe, or the mangy orange and white cat that's taken up residence in the Slat. Granted, the last thing is not really Jesper's fault, but given time, and the proper motivation, Kaz is confident he can pin the blame on Jesper somehow.

Not this time, though. No, this time, this whole stupid situation is entirely Jesper's fault.

Jesper's fault, and the homemade moonshine that Colm Fahey brews with peaches and strawberries and wild ginger. He sent Jesper a jar of the stuff for the winter Kerst celebration, and now it seems like the entire Slat is near falling down drunk.

"It was one jar," Kaz says now, his tongue oddly thick. He hadn't been able to escape getting a glass shoved into his hand, so he'd looked at the seemingly innocuous pinkish-gold liquid and knocked it back without even thinking. He's had paint thinner that's milder than whatever brew this is. "How does one jar do all this?"

Inej is listing besides him, her long braid nearly coming undone. She says wisely, "Jesper says his da brews it with the fermented honey water. To give it, it, you know. Extra strength."

"All the Saints and their ugly mothers," Kaz mumbles and Inej swats at him, and misses by a mile. Which is a sign of just how potent this stuff is.

Inej had accepted a glass of moonshine from Jesper, tempered with water, and she'd danced with nearly everyone in the Slat--all the young kids, Anika, Pim, Roeder, Jesper, even Wylan, who let Inej drag him away from the upright piano someone shoved into the corner. No one's played it until tonight, until Wylan has started playing. Then someone got out a tin pennywhistle and another person dragged in a fiddler player from one of musician troupes that walk the Barrel busking inside, and the moonshine had flowed like water.

Music, wild and raucous and only slightly out of tune, poured out of the Slat, and the Dregs had danced like madmen, like heathens, howling at the winter moon. Kaz sat by the wall and watched; no one would ask Dirtyhands to dance, even if they didn't account for his leg. But he didn't mind watching Inej dance, her hair whipping around her, as she used her hands and feet to tell a story of a Saint defeating a monster on a mountain. Her hair is curtain of black silk in the light, and he wants to bury his face in it.

He blinks at the unguarded thought, shifting as Inej lists further and further, leaning into him more fully. "Sorry, sorry," she says, her s's oddly, delightfully sharp. Like a piece of ginger candy. "The room's dancing."

"The room's not dancing, you are," he says nonsensically and then gives up on shifting altogether. Inej is pressed up against him now, their layers of clothing between them prevent any skin on skin touch, but his heart pounds at her proximity anyways. He suspects that no matter how long he's gotten used to touching her, it always will.

"Did you like it?" Inej asks, a little dizzily. "Seeing me dance," she clarifies when he doesn't answer right away. "I didn't have the bell anklets, or the finger cymbals, but I think I got all the steps right. From what I could remember. Mama would do it better, though. Or Cousin Kathani."

Kaz couldn't tell her what they could do any better than Inej, and says so. Inej beams up at him, that smile he'd crawl over hot coals for, and for one glorious moment, leans her head on his shoulder. "One day I'll take you," she says, as the room continues to waltz and weave around them. "And you'll see me dancing. Properly, with jasmine and everything."

Later, he can blame this on the moonshine. Or the dancing room. Or the wild laughter and music still going around them, sealing them away from the outside world, and whatever consequences face them out there. But he finds himself pressing his lips to the crown of her head, lingering on the silky smooth strands, the scent of moonshine and the gardenia oil she uses on her hair. It lasts no more than second, but Inej's hands curl in the fabric of his waistcoat. Her breath catches in her throat, not in pain or fear, just dazed wonder.

He holds the moment as long as he dares, like a magician dragging out the climax of a trick before he releases the tension and settles back against the wall. Inej is still in his arms, and the room dances on all around them. Just this once, he can give Jesper and the moonshine credit.

[tough-n-dumb]

Fic Meme

13. “Ask me again.”

thank you! this one is show!verse, set while inej leaves with the volkvolny crew (or does she...) listen, this one is indulgent and probably exactly what you think it'll be but i Need to fix how the show left them

13. "Ask me again." (Kanej)

This was it. They would leave for Ketterdam tomorrow morning. He had his money; the Ravkan crown in his pocket; his revenge. He should have been satisfied. He wasn't. Because what was waiting for him back in Ketterdam now? A kingdom, yes, but a crooked one, now forever off-kilter. He would be a king without... without... He would be a king, and what else was there to want?

Kaz stood on the roof, leaning against the fort's parapet, overlooking the vast strip of barren land the Fold once dominated. The setting sun turned the sand a fiery, golden hue; an antithesis of the darkness that had reigned there for so long.

He had been up here for a few hours now, avoiding the jovial, adrenaline-fueled festivities in the halls beneath. He'd initially climbed to the roof to watch the small airship take off, transporting the Volkvolny's ever-growing crew to the main ship. He hadn't been able to, receding to the other side of the high walls at the last minute. Just as in the chapel, he couldn't turn around; he couldn't bear to watch her leave. Even the thought of her caused a prickle on the back of his neck, a shiver wrapping around his aching spine.

"Ask me again, Kaz."

Inej's voice was soft, airy, the syllables of his name turning sweet and lilting. It wasn't possible.

Kaz turned, and there she was. He must have been more sleep-deprived than he thought, the visage of her so startingly solid and real. But the way the sun caught on her hair—braided once more—and the light hitch in her breath when his eyes met hers confirmed that she was here: brightly lit and corporeal. Not some specter of loss like Jordie.

"Inej, what are you doing here?" His voice was hoarse and rougher than usual, even to his own ears.

"Ask me again," she repeated.

"What are you—" he began.

"No," she interrupted, drawing closer, the space between them quickly diminishing. "I'm here because I need you to ask me again."

Realization of what she wanted dawned on him and something turned sour in his stomach.

"Why?" he ground out. "So you can tell me no all over again?"

She only stood there, watching him, picking him apart with her dark eyes. He supposed he had been the one to teach her the patience of a thief, after all.

"You were supposed to leave hours ago," he deflected.

"Yes."

"You didn't."

She smiled, the quirk of her lips small and ambiguous. "It appears that way, doesn't it?"

"Why are you here?"

"I told you."

"I'm not going to ask you to stay, Inej. You already made your answer clear." If she wanted to humiliate him, he wouldn't bend.

"Just try."

She was looking at him with the sort of rawness and expectation she had when praying to her Saints—full of hope and belief in something divine.

Damn his pride; damn it all.

"Inej." He took a step closer to her, then another, until they were merely inches from each other. If he reached out, he might be able to touch her. "Don't leave. Come back to Ketterdam and stay with me. Please."

She was on him before he could finish the word, instead sighing it into her mouth that was now pressed against his. She met it with her own, a whispered, yes that buzzed hot against his lips.

Yes.

The word reverberated around his skull while she kissed him and kissed him. Her hands were balled in his coat, his own gloved ones pressed tightly to the curve of her waist. She was so alive in his arms, her lips so soft and warm, even the harbor waters were kept at bay.

Yes.

Too quickly, she pulled away, and he watched as a heavy breath left her pretty, pinkened mouth. Her eyes flitted all over his face, snatching at his tells. He couldn't imagine what she must have found, but it left her smiling big and bright up at him.

"Ask me again," he parroted, thumb brushing against the flare of her ribs.

"What do you want, Kaz?"

"You."

thank you again and thank you for reading!! does this totally fit and seem feasible to where we left them? probably not. but i will take any and every opportunity to me them kiss

fic prompt meme

[turtleofdamascus]

In praise of the non-canon moments in sab2 and my ratings:

Just want to appreciate these moments the writers added cuz idk I feel like they do understand the characters. It’s like watching fanfic. Hot take: I sometimes like them so much more or just as much as the canon scenes taking place.

kanej chapel scene in s1

iconic. One of the best non-canon things they added to show Inej's first kill. And it be for Kaz. AHH and in a chapel. The symbolism. The emotion. And of course the delivery of Kaz saying "Look at me" while leaning in but not touching. 10000/10

Nina and Kaz fake couple scene

I'm dying I cannot with this scene. This is perfect. I always wanted a fake dating scene in the books. And this was perf. "He's all hands" and Kaz's face looking slightly terrified and horrified. Also ahhh him having to take off his gloves to do the tea ritual. I gasped. It was so surreal. And then Inej watching tear tear. 9000/10

Kaz panicking at tea time

I gasped when I saw this. I think this was insane. Cuz in the books, all we get that is similar is the... prison carriage scene. But this- this seems even more exposed. Kaz panicking and then putting his hand down and then, Nina putting her hand on him and Kaz looking terrified then running through the streets and then Inej carrying him and... then him curled up holding his cane without his gloves and Inej being there to give his gloves and witnessing it. Ahhh like first of all, looks like a nightmare for kaz but dang idk if we get such a scene capturing the vulnerability of kaz ahh. The writers knew exactly how to torture him. It's so crazy bc Freddy can play him with nerves of steel but then in a puddle of fear and I'm in awe. The shaking and the curling up in the corner. I'm in tears. 10000!/10

Wylan monologue on butterflies

This was hilarious and very Wylan. So nerdy. 900/10

- feeding the team butterflies… ummm

I don't know if this brought me out of the show, bc it was so bizarre. But ahhh Inej on top of kaz trying feed him a butterfly while he's having a nightmare was just-- ahhh most strange situation I could think of but also ahhh the angst. I was screaming no don’t touch kazzz. I guess the scene was another excuse to torture Kaz and I ate it up. AHHH the fact the only inej could help him. 900/10

-the Jesper and wylan piano tuning

Also such a random scene but I loved it so much. Lol the fact that wylan pretends they're piano tuners bahaha. And then he congratulates Alby's playing and then proceeds to show off. Such a fun scene. 9000/10

Jesper being in prison carriage scene

Screaming crying and throwing up. when i saw this in the first episode. I gasped and in the first 5 minutes AHH. What. Idk i kinda loved that jesper was there. There's so much trust in their relationship and seeing kaz struggle right in front of jesper was so painful. Ahh him gasping for breath and trying to hide it. Is heartbreaking. And then Jesper being like "boss", and then "kaz" and his eyes being so concerned for his friend and calling for help. I cry. 10000/10

Hallucination scene

Once again performed beautifully. The stares. The "May I" and then gently pressing Inej to him. The hand on the cheek. And Inej giving him the intent stare. The soft kiss. UMM. I don't like that it's a hallucination. But i do find it fascinating to compare the "I want you" of this and the actual "I want you". THEY are BOTH delivered similarly. So in some ways,,,, I see this as a look into a future. Not unrealistic. If we never got a "real" I want you. I would be angrier. so for that it gets points back. WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE A KANEJ KISS> 9000/10

Also some thoughts on canon moments brought to life perfectly:

Kanej "I want you" church scene

“You,Inej, you…. To die buried underneath” Kaz never said it but ahh his eyes looking so ... distant and his lips forming the words and then the delivery of the "To die buried..." with his eyes rolling upward. Perfect. Perfectly delivered. AHHH. Freddy understands Kaz.

"I want you" - Idk how freddy can go from being the most monstrous looking person to turning his eyes into these round boyish eyes. So... open and round. And ahh you can see Kaz trying... so hard to show he's giving his all. And then when he takes his gloves away and you can see his shuddering breath. Ahh

"Gloves on" delivered so sadly and brutally. Amita's eyes so... yearning but letting him down. Ahh felt like a breakup. Almost made me wish they cut the line. Because the show!kaz was trying to hard. I kind of wish in some way they didn't say this canon line lol. I want Inej to see he's trying.

And then when Inej leaves... and we are left looking at Kaz. His eyes watering. And looking so heartbroken. Stab me.

This was delivered perfectly. I-chef’s kiss.

The Dregs fight

Ahh the fight was amazing and stunning with the speed ramping. And kaz using his cane to lift a chair and slamming his cane into people faces. Chef's kiss. Freddy giving his all. THIS IS BRUTAL KAZ I NEEDED. YESSS feral kaz. How did i deserve this 100000/10

Pekka Rollins revenge scene

UMM... Freddy/Kaz gave it his all. And I bow before him like Pekka. AHHHH. The glares. The delivery of every line from the books UMM. Praise. "Buried." "Six feet deep" . Also seeing Kaz getting beat up was so painful but ahhh performed so well. The framing of the shot where Pekka bows before him... and it's silent almost. It looks like a painting. I'm stunned. Also the delivery of the line "quitclaim for inej ghafa" AHHH. Ahh idk... the protectiveness. 10000000/10. AMazing showstopping. I can't believe they plucked it from the books.

[skylar-325]

Hi.... If you don't mind me asking, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series/games/etc) and your top 10 favorite characters from any media ? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this questions....

Wow, that’s definitely challenging lol. I consume media like it’s a necessity for survival but I can try XD I don’t think I can rank them since each of them mean so much to me but I’ll list them here.

1. Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint (book): if you’ve read it then you probably know why and if you haven’t then I definitely recommend it. It was a life changing experience for me. As someone who uses reading as an escape from reality, it hit pretty hard T-T

2. Haikyuu : Big found family enthusiast so that’ll apply to most of my favourites. Haikyuu nearly made me cry on multiple occasions because of how well the characters are written. I see my self in them and somehow rooting for them makes me have hope for myself. Hopefully that makes sense. XD

3. Link Click (anime): Hurt. Very big hurt. Another doomed found family but I really enjoy the mystery and thrill of it. The characters are really well written. Not to mention each of them is also ridiculously hot.

4. Little mushroom (book): apocalypse setting sci fi story, a human inspector falls in love with a mushroom. It might sound strange, but it’s a beautiful book and perspective we get on life made me fall in love with it all over again. Also the mushroom takes the form of a human so like…it’s cool.

5. Bungou Stray Dogs (anime): only watched the anime so far but I do plan to read the manga soon. Adore all the characters and the storyline is really interesting. I’m a literature nerd so seeing edgar allen poe and nathaniel hawtharne interact with japanese and american authors is like a dream come true XD

6. Six of Crows (book): peak found family. laughed and cried reading this book and realised my bisexuality along the way. something about jesper being all be gay do crime really resonated with me. adore kanej and would commit crimes for the entire gang.

7. Percy Jackson and the Olympians (book): my childhood really. i’ve read every single rick riordan book in existence but this was my start to being a book worm. love greek mythology. also inspired me to be a writer.

8. Qian Jin Jiu (book): political intrigue and mystery along with action and romance. super fun to read when im not trying to remember a gazillion names. love love loveee the main pair.

9. These Violent Delights (books): so so good. chinese retelling of romeo and juliet but juliet is a badass. super fun read and it’s the kind of writer i aspire to be.

10. Blue Lock (anime): so. watched the first season and i lost my mind. it was insanely good and i really liked the message behind it. which is funny given how found family core is my usual watch list is. s2 is kind of a disappointment so it’s def ranked lower on my list because of that. but i do plan to read the manga someday.

Special mention for Ouran High School Host Club. Just finished watching it but it’s easily top three anime for me.

ok now top ten characters. again not ranked other than no.1.

1. Kim Dokja (ORV): i don’t think i can explain why. something about being shown a damning mirror in a piece of media

2. Hinata (Haikyuu): his passion and dedication to improve and succeed despite his situation. also his personality. i adore him.

3. Lu Guang: again can’t explain it. just want to wrap him in a big blanket forever.

4. Annabeth Chase (PJO) : My OG girl boss. I spent my childhood trying to be her.

5. Inej Ghafa (SOC): an assassin who convinced a mob boss to buy her out of a brothel and became the most dangerous weapon on the street. her will and strength is awe inspiring.

6. Wei Wuxian (MDZS): he stuck to his principles no matter what and it’s something i really look up to.

7. Chigiri (BL): His story of being the best, only to hurt his knee and lose it all and to fight to get back to who he was is beautiful. Getting back up after life deals such a harsh blow isn’t something everyone can manage.

8. Oikawa (Haikyuu): his story hurts me and is constant reminder of the chances one has to make it in industries like sport or art. his dedication to his passion regardless is beautiful.

9. Osamu Dazai (BSD): He’s just super fun to watch. No deep explanation. Very relatable.

10. Tamaki (Ouran High School Host Club): really like his characterisation, the way they built him from the first episode. his love for his friends and club is everything to me. quickly became my fav character.

Special shout-out to yoo joonghyuk and han sooyoung, too much to explain but they make me cry.

[neptune-scythe]

Everyone coming after my posts with the comments and anonymous asks are literally just proving my point that society cannot handle the concept of a loving healthy relationship without physical intimacy

And also if you wanna call me a stupid cunt say it to my face next time. Anonymous asks is a cowards move

[sprnklersplashes]

whumptober day 29 (ao3)

kanej+scented candle+troubled past resurfacing

content warning for mentions of the menagerie

Steam rises from the water, dancing across the glass and dulling the indigo hue painted by the outside sky. Inej watches it for a moment, then takes a breath and plunges beneath the water. All at once, the creaks and grants of the Slat cease, the constant murmur of chatter is thrown out, replaced by the ringing in her ears and the soft gurgling of the bathwater. She half-opens her eyes, unbothered by the way they sting, and finds nothing but a blur of grey and white, her limbs reduced to mere brown slivers. A girl made of blotches, no body to touch.

It’s not unappealing.

She stays beneath the water even when her chest burns, only coming back up when her lips begin to part. Cold air sting her face. Every nerve in her skin blisters.

When she’d drawn up this bath, she’d left the water on the fire for twice as long as she used to. Dregs raised concerned eyebrows as they floated in and out, and one even tried to remove it under the assumption she just forgot. One look from her stopped him, and as he left, she noticed Anika whisper something in his ear. She didn’t need to wonder.

So yes, the water is hot. Scalding even. It only took seconds for it to burn through to her muscles and make her forget she has a body at all. Exactly what she wanted. 

Her head falls backwards. She breathes in heavily, trying once again to banish the scent of vanilla that lingered. It’s always, always the fucking vanilla. On the windowsill, the candle Kaz had made for her burns softly, the scent of wild geraniums wafting softly through the air. She breathes in again and pulls her knees to her chest, pressing her chin between them so that the water laps at her lips. The sweet flower scent lingers and fills her breaths, but it isn’t enough. That sharp, sugary scent of vanilla lingers in her mind, and everything that comes with it barrels through her.

The infamous Captain Ghafa. Brought down by a lady’s vanilla perfume. What will the legends say if this gets out?

“Inej?” She startles, her heart stutters and stops like a train engine, soothed a second later by the rocksalt rasp of the voice. “Inej, may I come in?”

“Yes.” Her own voice sounds like sandpaper. The door handle turns and Kaz appears, dark hair falling loosely in front of his face. His jaw is tight, his eye dark, but not for the reasons people would think when a man walks in on his lover in the bath. He inhales slowly, steadily, the way he does before a fight.

“Door open or closed?”

“Closed,” she says. He blinks, but doesn’t question it. Instead, he clicks the door shut. Then his hand lingers on the lock and he turns to her, waiting for her approval.

She thinks about it, weighs up two options in her mind. Then, slowly, she nods, and he does as she asks.

She sinks into the water as he comes over, steps punctuated by the rap of his cane on the floor. Near-total darkness blankets the room, save for the small glow of the candle on the windowsill and the orange light spilling through the cracks in the door. The evening lights of Ketterdam push at the window, muted now by the frosted glass. As a result, she feels Kaz sit on the edge of the tub, rather than seeing him.

Minutes pass and they sit in silence. Thousands of things to say race forwards; words, explanations, self-pitying rants, but they fall away before they can reach her mouth.

“Are you all right?” he asks, a gravelly edge in his voice. With her arms wrapped around herself, Inej searches deep inside herself for the words. Yes , says instinct. No , says honesty. No and I never will be , says the broken little girl who was dragged to the Menagerie. I want to burn everything down and make them beg me for mercy and then cut out their throats, says the vengeful spy.

Please don’t leave me, says Inej.

Kaz hears all of it, and more. Slowly, he lowers his cane and lets it rest against the tub. The silver gleams against the candlelight, like the lighthouses posted on rocky cliffs.

For a long time, neither say anything. She feels Kaz’s dark eyes trained on her, searching for signs of an injury she won’t reveal, a tell that something didn’t go as planned. Through her hair, she watches him as well, watches the tension in his shoulders wind down as his search comes up empty. Any other time, she’d smile at him, perhaps nuzzle him and tell him she thinks its sweet. But now, just thinking of such actions makes her chest tight.

Smile. Nuzzle. Tell them they’re sweet. 

More minutes pass in silence, they listen to the water sloshing as Inej moves. A party goes on outside, because there’s always a party going on outside. Inej traces lazy circles in the water’s surface, watches as droplets fall from her arm and make ripples. Then, he finally asks.

“Inej what happened?” he asks softly. She looks up at him now and holds his gaze. The lack of light doesn’t hinder it. She’d find those eyes blindfolded and when she does, something loosens in her chest. 

“Vanilla,” she says. “Some lady passed me in the street and… and she was spraying some vanilla perfume around.” She closes her eyes, presses her face into her knees. Inej only got a quick look at her, but she couldn’t have been more than eighteen. Eighteen and being careless with a sample bottle, and the result was her sprinting to the Slat as if the hounds of hell were on her tail. 

Kaz inhales, a sharp whistle through his teeth. He knows. She told him one night, when she’d bolted out of Wylan’s workshop and thrown up on the street because he started burning sugar for something. Kaz had went after her, let her punch him and scream until the memories faded and carried her home. After, she told him everything. 

So he knows that vanilla is to her what a bare hand is to him. Uncontrollable and unrelenting, a metal hook dragging them back to their pasts. A cold, cruel reminder that what happened to her is never going away. She can put as many years between it and kill all the slavers she likes but this isn’t going away.

It’s burrowed beneath her skin and made a home there. If she could use her knives to cut herself and rip it out she would do it in a heartbeat.

Silently, Kaz dips his hand in the bath, slender fingers disappearing beneath the boiling water. If it hurts him, he doesn’t show it. He keeps his face neutral and lets her see it for what it is. An invitation.

At first, she hesitates, her hand unconsciously pulling towards her chest. Her body is hers, and some part of her feels that if no-one else touches it, it stays safe.

But.. this isn’t someone else. This is Kaz, who cradled her bleeding body all the way to the Ferolind, who wields knives and canes with wicked precision then goes home to tuck flowers behind her ears. There’s no part of her body that he’s touched that she doesn’t know about. There is never a touch too small, too insignificant, that he doesn’t stop and ask her first. 

Discreetly, delicately, she slides her hand into his. It’s just her, and Kaz, and their hands. He squeezes it, and the air turns soft, littered with the scent of flowers. Geraniums, not vanilla. Seconds tick by, then minutes, and at some point she finds that breathing doesn’t hurt. 

“I’ve got you,” Kaz tells her. His voice is low, like the flickering embers in a fireplace, cozy lamps in a living room. 

“I know,” she says. Her heart wishes to say don’t let go , but the words don’t pass her lips. They don’t need to; he can hear them and even if he couldn’t, he wouldn’t dare. If there’s one thing she can count on, it’s that. 

She can’t find the will to get up yet, and so they stay there, hands clasped beneath the water. Kaz looks at the windowsill and while he doens’t say anything, his lips curl, a faint pink creeps across his cheeks before he looks away. They stay there, together, breathing the scent of flowers and of Ketterdam’s smoke, holding each other’s hand. He stays there until the water turns cold and Inej can feel herself again in that moment. Not at the Menagerie, but at home, with him. When she tries off, she feels her body again and it is hers. Not a plaything for a man to grab and pull and discard when he sees fit.

Kaz offers to take her to her room, but she doesn’t take it. Leaving the bath is one thing, leaving the room is another. Instead, they sit in silence, fingers slipped between each other, and breathe in wild geraniums until the candle burns out.

“I’ll get you a new one,” Kaz whispers. Inej smiles. 

[honeii-puff]

for grishverse asks, like any one of them, I just kinda want to know, since they’re such good questions, and if you feel like it all of them

shadow | rank all the grishaverse books you’ve read.

I did this one already

bone | have you seen the show? what’s the best part of it?

Also did this one already

siege | if you got to kill off one character, who would it be?

Probably Heleen. Burn the Menagarie down whilst we're at it

storm | share and tag your favorite fan art

Dont have one, i love all the fanarts

ruin | favorite character?

Did this one already, its Inej

rising | what’s the best ship? canon or otherwise.

Kanej. no questions.

six | favorite grishaverse quote?

the "I would have come for you" bit from Kaz. That or "Best way to steal a man's wallet"

crow | which crows are you most and least like?

Most like Inej, Least like Kaz

crooked | if you got to rewrite the first chapter of six of crows, how would you do it?

I'd probably let Anya live longer bc she was cool

kingdom | pick a character and give them a theme song

Jesper - Killer Queen by Queen

king | what’s your favorite idea for a new series in the grishaverse?

Probably something centric on Captian Inej Ghafa

scars | which character deserved better?

MATTHIAS HELVAR

rule | favorite book cover?

The russian version of Six of Crows. its beautiful

wolves | sort all the characters you can into hogwarts houses, (or choose to give them zodiacs, mbtis, alignments, etc—)

im just gonna do the crows

Kaz: Slytherin

Inej: Hufflepuff

Wylan: Slytherin or Ravenclaw

Jesper: Gryffindor

Matthias: Hufflepuff

Nina: Gryffindor

ketterdam | change the ending of one of the books

LET. MATTHIAS. LIVE

os alta | when did you get into the grishaverse? tell us all about it

I'd say about 2021 i read Shadow and Bone and half of Seige and Storm, then dropped it. I watched the show in 2022, read six of crows, saw s2 of SaB, and then read KOS

djerholm | what pair of characters would you kill to see interact with each other?

We need more Kaz and Nikolai interactions.

the unsea | what type of grisha powers would you want to have? or what crow’s skills would you want to steal?

Stealing Inej's grace, I have the balance of a toddler :P

the true sea | rant about whatever grishaverse thing you want to (a hot take, something that bothers you, something you love, etc)

WE. NEED. MORE. RELIGIOUS. REPRESENTATION.

And not in the way "oh we need more religious characters"

no.

I want full in-depth explanations on each religion. On Djel, Gheezenism, the difference between Ravkan, Kaelish, and Suli saints, what they worship in the Southern Colonies, Novyi Zem, and Shu Han, all of it.

Give me it all.

[jahayla-parker]

Real Life "Book Boyfriend" : Freddy Carter x Reader SMAU

Description: Fluffy Social media AU for Freddy Carter and reader/wife

Warnings: none that I can think of!

Liked by yourusername, amitasuman_, benbarnes, and 798, 261 others

freddycarter1: philosophizing about the origins of crows 📸: @/yourusername

view all 309, 618 comments

benbarnes: handsome even as a shadow🔥

freddycarter1: ❤️

yourusername: sure… crows 😜 totally not the Nandos you just ate 😏

daniellegalligan_: girl I thought you were calling him out for not saying it was him thinking about you… so now I’m disappointed

freddycarter1: @daniellegalligan_ @yourusername a man can philosophize about more than one thing at a time 💁‍♂️

tommyae: y/n is taking better photos than you now bro

freddycarter1: I want to be mad but I agree 🤷‍♂️

Liked by amitasuman_, lbardugo, freddycarter1, and 615, 471 others

yourusername: Book dates > anything else

view all 432, 785 comments

kittheyounger: who is the new beau? 🤔

yourusername: …new?

kittheyounger: Freddy doesn’t read 🤷‍♂️

yourusername: *Amita voice* what does that mean?

freddycarter1: @kittheyounger 😂 mate she wasn’t on set that day hahaha

freddycarter1: ❤️

lbardugo: books are the best, although I’m a bit biased

amitasuman_: aesthetic queen 👑 p.s. I want a book date with you🥺

yourusername: name a time and place 😘

liked by freddycarter1, lbardugo, amitasuman_, and 812, 936 others

yourusername: can’t decide what’s more aesthetically pleasing… the library, the book, the outfit, or the man 🥰

.

.

.

Kidding, it’s definitely the man 😘

view all 581, 092 comments

lbardugo: add gloves and a cane = Kaz. I will stand by this casting until the end of time ❤️

yourusername: 💯♾️

kazbrekkerswife: my husband is so fine 😭

yourusername: mine too 😉🥰

freddycarter1: I adore you ❤️

archierenaux3: how do I just know you spent a lot of time in there?

yourusername: a room full of vintage books with aesthetic lighting? Of course I did 😂🤷‍♀️

liked by amitasuman_, lbardugo, yourusername, and 719, 471 others

freddycarter1: Coffee < Books < Her ❤️

view all 528, 231 comments

yourusername: my real life book boyfriend 🙌🥹

freddycarter1: … we’re married, darling 😘💍

yourusername: it’s a thing Freddy, obviously 💁‍♀️ same way I know you’re not actually a character in a book, smh 🙄 💕

archierenaux3: you’ve got to be running out of books by now mate

freddycarter1: have you seen her TBR? ♾️

archierenaux3: that’s true, she told me she added another two just the other week at that 😂

benbarnes: 😍

liked by yourusername, benbarnes, archierenaux3, and 913, 471 others

freddycarter1: No shelf control

📸: @/yourusername

view all 698, 190 comments

benbarnes: whew 🥵 y/n is a lucky woman

yourusername: 🍀💯

kittheyounger: nice fit mate 👏

archierenaux3: very smashing mate!

yourusername: we love the two best Grishaverse book boyfriends supporting each other #Kanej #TeamMalina

benbarnes: beg your pardon?👀

lbardugo: 🫣

liked by archierenaux3, benbarnes, freddycarter1, and 741, 653 others

yourusername: I only love my bed and my man, I’m sorry 🎵

(Not really sorry 💁‍♀️)

pc 🤳: best brother in law ever @tommyae

view all 536, 417 comments

kittheyounger: okay, I love this 👌

freddycarter1: ☀️❤️

benbarnes: only you two would start your day by reading 😂

yourusername: I’ll have you know we also had an amazing brunch thanks to chef Freddy 💁‍♀️

freddycarter1: wouldn’t want to wake up any other way ❤️

amitasuman_: can’t wait for you to tell me what you think of this series 💕

liked by amitasuman_, archierenaux3, freddycarter1, and 561, 741 others

yourusername: Sweetest things in life 🍬

pc📷: @freddycarter1

view all 324, 857 comments

amitasuman_: 👑

daniellegalligan_: Hot drinks and hot girls 🔥

archierenaux3: taking photos of you reading? What a good book boyfriend 👏

yourusername: the best 🙌

freddycarter1: still not sure I love this book boyfriend thing 🤔😂

archierenaux3: fortunately for you, you just lost a point with that comment🤦‍♂️

yourusername: it’s a compliment Freddy 💁‍♀️

freddycarter1: I’d rather still be considered your husband 💁‍♂️

yourusername: you are 💁‍♀️💁‍♀️ you’re my real life husband who has “book boyfriend“ vibes 🙄❤️

freddycarter1: I just looked up what that means, my apologies ❤️🤦‍♂️

yourusername: I’ll still keep ya 🤷‍♀️😘

liked by amitasuman_, freddycarter1, benbarnes, and 615, 328 others

yourusername: A home without books is like a room without windows; dark and boring. Why be boring? 💖

view all 502, 361 comments

kittheyounger: Which book is this? I can’t keep up with so your reads 😂

yourusername: check out my GoodReads 🥰

amitasuman_: absolutely precious loves 💕

lbardugo: fantastic caption 😊

freddycarter1: 🧐❤️

liked by benbarnes, yourusername, tommyae , and 471, 652 others

freddycarter1: Key to happiness 🥰

view all 243, 587 comments

benbarnes: sickeningly cute 🙄

yourusername: okay Aleksander 💁‍♀️

tommyae: ❤️ you mates

lbardugo: the caption is very accurate, everything in this photo makes me happy 😊

freddycarter1: 😁

yourusername: ❤️

liked by amitasuman_, yourusername, tommyae, and 829, 471 others

freddycarter1: GoodReads & Great Company 😘

view all 741, 298 comments

tommyae: looking radiant love @yourusername

yourusername: Thank you Tommy 🥰

yourusername: favorite place with my favorite person 💕

freddycarter1: don’t misquote my caption darling 💁‍♂️

yourusername: woooowww you’re lucky I like you 🙄

freddycarter1: just like? 🥺

yourusername: no 🙄, not just like ❤️

freddycarter1: 🥹❤️

amitasuman_: my wifey 💕

daniellegalligan_: no, MY wifey 💁‍♀️❤️

freddycarter1: 🤨

yourusername: @freddycarter1 yours (if you stop with the attitude 😉) 💕

FREDDY CARTER NAVIGATION/MASTERLIST

KAZ BREKKER NAVIGATION

MAIN SIX OF CROWS NAVIGATION

GRISHAVERSE NAVIGATION

PIN HAWTHORNE NAVIGATION

MAIN MASTERLIST NAVIGATION (AII MY WORKS)

Current tag list (comment here to be added): @ell0ra-br3kk3r@brekkershadowsinger

[dreamtigress]

Many Sentence Monday

Ever write a story with some OC's that you just utterly fall in love with? That's Ryo and Omar for me right now. I love these two damaged goofballs SO FUCKING MUCH. I cannot wait to share the whole of this story. But for today, you get a snippet.

Een Taal Aanleren (Language Lessons) is a spin off from Kanej Wensen, getting to know two more of the Dregs, Ryo and Omar. Just before this snippet that happens on the front stairs of the Slat, Ryo has confronted Omar about his romantic attractions.

“How long have you known?” He asked because even he himself wasn’t sure. From the moment Omar had seen him fighting for his life, he’d thought Ryo was attractive. When Brekker had essentially assigned him babysitting duty for the new recruit, he hadn’t minded the excuse to watch over him. Weeks of spending time together, working shifts, language lessons, drinking together after hours… It was a bit of a blur for Omar as to exactly when he’d started fantasizing about kissing Ryo. About how it might feel to run his hands over the other man’s creamy skin, or through his long, straight black hair. What it would be like to have those lustrous amber eyes focused on him with passion. What kinds of sounds he might make during sex. Whether he liked to cuddle afterwards. If he might want something more. Like a romantic relationship.

Ryo stopped, one stair up, and twirled gracefully. He pinned Omar to the spot directly in front of him with one raised eyebrow. “Ever since the night you saved me.”

It was the most absolute confidence Omar had ever heard Ryo speak Kerch with. As if there were no doubts in his mind about the timing. “I… uh…” He ran a hand up the back of his neck, utterly at a loss. Okay, yeah, maybe I am an idiot. Omar looked down, trying to find words or maybe even courage.

“Am I wrong?” That came with just a tad less confidence. And some curiosity. 

“I… I don’t think you are. I think I might be a shǎ, though.”

“Omar?”

“Yeah?” He still hadn’t picked his head up, staring a hole into the stair besides Ryo’s feet instead. 

“I have wanted since that night… to do this…”

Ryo’s hand came up, his fingers brushing like a whisper up Omar’s chin, lifting his head with the barest pressure. As the other man planted a feather light kiss on his lips, Omar froze. Then his toes curled in his boots, his brain shouted with glee, and he melted. He all but lunged forward to deepen the kiss. All coherent thoughts fled, driven forth by starvation. It had been entirely too long since he’d received affection like this. A kiss like this. Since he’d entertained anything besides his doomed crush, and quick flings just to get sex. He found his hands were now on either side of Ryo’s waist, with no recollection of putting them there. All Omar wanted was more. More of Ryo’s firm lips on his. Ryo’s clever tongue in his mouth. More of Ryo’s skin under his fingertips. Santos, he’s a good kisser. The other man’s hand moved to the nape of Omar’s neck, and their continued kiss had every last bit of his attention.

Which would be why Anika got the drop on them. “You two might want to take that inside. I could have robbed both of you blind.”

Grinning like a fool, Ryo pulled back first, while Omar blinked, dropped his hands, and felt his face go hot. “I knew you were there, boss,” the Shu man asserted.

“Yeah, sure, Ryo. You’re lucky it wasn’t Brekker who caught you. Get yer asses to a fucking room or something, Saints alive.”

Omar managed, “Sure, boss.” Anika snickered as she brushed by them to head inside the Slat. The blond lieutenant and Pim shared one of the nicest rooms on the second floor. The fact that she’d caught them making out wasn’t nearly as embarrassing as the part where Omar hadn’t noticed someone approaching from behind. It was dangerous to let your guard down like that in the Barrel. Even in your own turf, on the stairs to your gang’s main house. If it had been Brekker who’d come up behind them, he would have either robbed them or smacked them with his cane. Or both. “We… we ought to go inside…”

Slyly, Ryo ran his hand down Omar's neck to grab the lapel of his waistcoat. “Your room or mine?” 

Eyes wide, Omar stammered, “I… uh… My bed’s bigger.”

The smile that answered him was kin to the panther that had stalked him before. It had pounced now, happy with its captured prey. “The deal is done.”

“Um. It’s usually ‘the deal is the deal’.”

“That too.” 

Santos, what have I gotten myself into? Omar thought as he followed the confidant and graceful Shu man into the Slat, and towards whatever was about to happen. 

[veerbles]

more kanej parallels because I love pain: kaz's rebirth scene in the harbour vs. inej's rebirth in the incinerator shaft.

both nearly died burning - kaz of the fever of firepox, inej of the hot coals. both resurfaced in water - kaz swimming back to shore, inej climbing up in the rain. both found their purpose in vengeance - kaz deciding to become dirtyhands to take down pekka, inej deciding to captain a ship to take down slavers.

both were hopeless and aimless until they were reborn in pain and struggle, and maybe they came out a little bit angrier, but both had found their path.