#just. thinking about this in the context of an artist who lives and breathes my art. this symphony makes me insane (appreciative)

[scattered-winter]

continuing my musicposting because have you ever thought abt how beethoven's 9th symphony was composed without him ever hearing a single note ?? he did the whole thing completely deaf. and especially the 4th movement ??? which is quite literally called "ode to joy" ?? and a celebration of humanity and joy that he never got to hear ??? waughghhhh

[missydior]

cinnamon girl ౨ৎ (part i)

♡: little hints that eventually reveal a long-flourished love.

notes: charles leclerc/singer reader, secret relationship, releasing & soft (?) launching, engagement, i’ve used song & album names from other artists here !

– based on this request ☁️

type: smau ・ face claim: madison beer ᥫ᭡

part ii: here !

a/n: my first smau on this blog </3 honestly not as proud of this one bc i had difficulty trying not to make it too long or awkward but i adore any excuse to look for pretty pics on pinterest, ily all

liked by honeymoon, franciscagomes and 555,116 others

yourusername: “there’s things i wanna say to you, but i’ll just let you live.” cinnamon girl out now ! i had so so much fun producing this song, love from me to you all <3

6,325 comments

user1: will be listening to this song on repeat for the rest of the year now

user2: literally obsessed 🫶🏼

friendusername: you deserve the world

yourusername: i <3 you

user3: can’t wait for your lover era one day, the songs will be lushhh

user4: girl, y/n already produces perfect music & lyricism without a man in her life, she’s doing just fine on her own

3,698 likes

newsofy/n: in a recent interview following the release of her new single ‘cinnamon girl’, y/n said “I am always inspired by those around me […] the support of my friends, family are the foundations of my work, every lyric and song is so personal to me – from experiences or those so dear to my heart…”

913 comments

user1: she is such a sweetheart, we must protect her.

user2: did anybody else notice that smile when the interviewer asked if she has any romantic ‘muses’ or inspiration?

user3: you’re taking it out of context, i’m pretty certain y/n is still as single as all of us </3

user2: ouch true, but you never know

user4: oh to be the muse of one of yourusername’s songs

liked by friendusername and 7,171 others

f1gossip: the monaco grand prix annually attracts all kinds of faces from the glitz & glamour, this year including the music industry’s sweetheart yourusername who had claimed she wanted to “return” to the place she has always adored, in person.

1,311 comments

user1: I wonder who she’s supporting 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

user2: probably charles leclerc, like every single girl who breathes.

user1: be quiet, I wouldn’t blame her anyway

user3: she looks like an angelll, paddock princess here she comes

user4: omg, didn’t she mention once in an interview that her father’s a lover of f1 too?

user5: I think I saw some old pics of her when she was like five with him at the belgian grand prix

user1: my two favourite people ever have MET EACH OTHER? crying inside currently

user2: they would make the most iconic couple

user3: girl bffr, they have just met

user2: let me be delulu, okay?

user4: no he has heart eyes

liked by friendusername, charlesleclerc and 591,132 others

yourusername: monaco, you were a blessing this weekend and i can’t wait to see you again soon, je t’aime <3

5,139 comments

user1: please, please, please come next year too, the paddock needs your fashion sense

user2: not charles lurking in the likes haha

user3: she’s got him interesteddd

user4: y/n and f1 was honestly the collab i never knew that i needed

user5: soon? what other business do you have in monaco?

liked by friendusername and 5,396 others

f1gossip: in a recent interview, when asked, charles leclerc revealed that he has listened to yourusername’s recent single ‘cinnamon girl’: “i’ve heard it a few times on the radio or shuffle, i think whoever is on the receiving end of her love songs now or in the future will be a lucky man, for sure.”

1,111 comments

user1: he’s definitely in love

user2: they’ve literally met once

user1: okay? i’ve never met him and i’m in love with him. anyway, we don’t know what they do away from the cameras and stuff

user3: he knows something we don’t.

user4: y/n’s friends are alwaysss on the gossip and i love it, they probably tell her all about it lol

liked by friendusername, pierregasly and 539,333 others

yourusername: from a secret admirer xoxo

5,692 comments

franciscagomes: finally?

yourusername: don’t pretend this is the first time

user1: y/n what does this meannnn?

user2: do you finally have some chance in your love life?

user3: that sounds so backhanded help

user4: whoever they are, i hope they treat you well y/n <3 our angel

♡ ✧ 。*・.

a/n: this feels a little rushed and awkward but i loved doing it nonetheless with my fun, little aesthetic </3 i’ve decided to divide it into two parts simply because it was getting long lol.

part ii: here <3

© missydior

[cipheramnesia]

This is the process my brain goes through every time I see anything about Netflix Avatar The Last Airbender.

My first reaction is always: Why? The original, although not without flaws, doesn't leave a lot of room to improve. A good remake or adaptation usually involves an updated context or change in perspective that adds to the original work and gives it new meaning. It's a risky undertaking because it usually involves wanting to take on something established as iconic and make it your own. But Netflix is a corporation and seems very risk averse for the most part. Its only investment is in the name recognition of AtLA. It's hard to visualize Netflix deliberately taking a big risk on an expensive show.

My second reaction is: How? The original series is about 1400 minutes over 61 episodes, and it still had to rush the ending. We're looking at 8 episodes of roughly 45-60 minutes per episode for season 1, which would require Netflix to let it run more than 3 seasons, if the series has similar pacing. Historically however Netflix shows have glacial pacing, and rarely make three seasons. Not really sure how they plan to tell the story if the series is anything like the average Netflix series, meaning it either needs to undercut the story or let the series breathe for at least five seasons. But nothing Netflix has done makes me want to watch anything they make as an ongoing series? Why bother, they cancel everything I enjoy. So I wonder how. What's the hook to say "this will be able to provide something new and interesting compared to the original, and will be allowed to tell the complete story."

Which leads me to think, but you can't judge if something is good without seeing it. Except none of this is about whether it's good, I just find myself wondering what are the odds it's worth the effort? They're low, and it has nothing to do with whether or not it's even any good on its own merits.

Following this, I ask myself, what would a good version of this be. Imagine you are making a live action series with eight hour long episodes per season based on a children's cartoon with 20 thirty minute episodes per season. You are trying to encompass a story which was presented over three seasons as a cartoon, and you do not know if you will have more than those eight episodes. It's made for Netflix which, in terms of a company which will protect the hard earned fruits of your artistic labor, is the fox guarding the henhouse. What do you do?

If you are looking to make something good, that respects your audience investment and your own work, you make radical changes to the story. You change the pacing, the character arcs, the plot arcs. You make sure you deliver a complete story in those episodes with as much respect for the original work and as many new ideas as you can.

Except, at that point, what is even the point of a remake. The only way to work with it is either to trust Netflix allowing you to finish the story (which you'd need to be incredibly naive to do), or tell a story so different it may as well be wholly original. And that's where I always end up. Like, it'll probably be fine, but what's the point of it all? Another vanishing digital property to get canceled because of some undefinable failure to return on investment.

I think about it a lot because the two ends of the spectrum seem to be "dunk on every new piece of information" or "wait and see" but the only conclusion I can ever reach is "why even care?" That's been the lesson to take home from digital streaming in general when it comes to series, but Netflix in particular, and honestly for movie series too. If it can't be self contained, the companies who produce and release these kinds of series just cannot be trusted with it, and there are too many good original stories being put out to care anymore about big budget promises that one day they will definitely for sure deliver a finished story, this time for real.

I care enough to think about why I don't feel anything at all about Netflix Avatar. It'll be fine, whatever else. Just fine.

[jmdbjk]

Make assumptions and get the wrong idea. Please. That's what he said.

My brain listening to Who:

(on the beat of course)

Sorry for the brain porn but that's how my brain feels when I hear Jimin's vocals. The runs, the ad libs, the highs, lows, and in-betweens, the breathing, especially the breathing. Especially in the 4K version of the Tonight Show performance posted on BangtanTV.

For many years now I've been wanting to hear Jimin let 'er rip on a big song and FINALLY! FINALLY!

FINALLY!

I started to jot down my interpretations of Who but you know what? no one needs yet another analyzation of the song, the lyrics, the MV, the belt sharing, the ... but one thing I need to point out... Ryan's Vintage Clothes is definitely a nod to Ryan Gosling don't you think? (just kidding sorta)

A ton of people have given their dissertations on what they think it all means. All I know is Jimin has that MAGIC and he is FLEXING big time.

This is my favorite shot from the most recent promo image drop on Weverse. I have always dissented when Jimin would say his left side is his best side. No sir. It's your right side.

The entire Muse album is a complete mind-bender for me. He came up with the ideas and themes and what he couldn't do on his own, he explained to all the people helping him in order to create his vision...

PDogg said this in an interview: "I also believe the experience of collaborating with various producers and songwriters in LA and NY gave Jimin the opportunity to further explore his limitless potential."

Minseong Kim (Performance Director): "When we were working together, I saw Jimin putting a lot of thought into delivering the song's choreography as a visual art form. He uses his detailed expressions to convey various artistic elements in the performance beyond simply presenting stylish, energetic choreography. He is always devoted to emphasizing the artistic elements of the performance by forming a visceral connection to it. I believe that his commitment and passion has shaped Jimin's unique style and allows him to deliver one of the most exciting performances in pop music."

and:

"We had countless discussions about how to visually articulate the story and message of the song through the performance on a larger scale, in a manner that's true to the song's title Who. When the choreography was completed Jimin was utterly pleased with the performance having all the elements he had wished to incorporate."

You can read the entire VMAGAZINE article here.

Regarding the other songs on the album, in MiniMoniMusic Exchange, Jimin mentioned that Rebirth was his favorite track. I do love it too, Jimin. The heartbeat, the poignancy. Perfection.

And I have to compare Be Mine to Seven. In Jungkook's Seven, the explicit version was so very literal and so in your face it was funny, even the MV added to the unserious vibe of it all.

But in Jimin's, Be Mine, he has probably the most erotic lyric I've ever heard coming out of the mouth of a Tannie: "... a hot island, a party with just the two of us; I know what you want and baby I want the same; love ‘til the morning; we just keep fallin’... baby come, baby come; show me what, show me what love is, yeah yeah; melt me hot, hot, hot quickly"

I am streaming all the versions of all the songs and album. I absolutely love it.

Now that I got that out of my system...

It's been about a year (??!?!?) since Jungkook's Only Fans debut live stream. Time is flying.

We are anticipating gaining more context soon surrounding exactly what went down between them the prior two weeks to this live and what did Jimin mean when he said he "can handle it? (Are you sure you wanna know?)

There is a high possibility we might get some jikook carpool karaoke.

The main trailer drops Monday. Hold on to your ... whatever it is you hold on to when you get shook because I'm sure it'll be another earthquake on the timeline.

All lyrics translations credit: © 2024 by Learn Korean With Sel www.learnkoreanwithsel.com/

[bookscandlesnbts]

RPWP by RM Thoughts

I know I haven’t been active in a hot minute, and I’ve wanted to be; I even have some drafts. But life has been kicking my ass recently and I’ve been really down and not up to posting or trying to collect my thoughts. I want to do this album justice though because I know the stupid fandom won’t at this point and everyone is only screaming about the few sexual lyrics and missing the point of everything per usual. Maybe that’s just the salty asexual as me, but god there are more messages in this album than sex that should be given wayyy more attention like the fact that Namjoon has told everyone to fuck off when it comes to him smoking and him saying fuck you to the government that he’s not a diplomat. Anyway, I love the album. This is what I wanted from Joon minus my Frank feature that I will forever cry about not getting. This album really reminded me of the instrumental out of the box production and song structure of Tyler the Creator (I’m also a huge fan) and the amount of people in comments I’ve seen on social media being like who is that? have me dumbfounded. Yall please expand your horizons. I promise you can listen to other music besides BTS. Tyler is widely influential and such a cool artist not to mention that he is very popular. Of course not all fans live in America so I’m not talking about them necessarily, but if you live in the US, you should have heard of Tyler the Creator. To me it makes sense to listen to music adjacent and that was a clear inspiration. Namjoon recs his music taste all the time too, but I digress.

I’ll list my favorites from the album so far in no particular order. I’m a huge fan of the opening track. It’s funky and sets the tone for the record. Other than that, I love all the songs that we get hard hitting rapping from Joon. I love Nuts, Domodachi (shoutout Little Simz ily), out of love, Interlude, Groin. I do like the title track even though it’s not my favorite, but it really picks up halfway through. And I love the closer Come back to me. I feel like Namjoon let out of all his rage and frustration only to come back to himself at the end of the record, and in the context of the album as a whole, it’s even more meaningful and beautiful.

Since I’m in music circles with people who love artists who definitely influenced this record and featured on it like Little Simz, I am hoping that they give it a spin but not holding my breath. Regardless, I think Namjoon is amazing and I’m so glad that he gets to carve his own path as an artist and make the music that he wants to make.

Lastly, I can’t wait to see Joon and Mimi listen to this album. I bet they will have some introspective and deep conversations as well as a multitude of Jimin giggles from the amount of cursing and those sprinkles of the sexual lyrics that yall are just relentless about.

That’s it from me, for now. Hoping for good news next week but preparing for the worst as well.

[choco-cherry-chunk]

Thinking a lot about OFMD Steddyhands mpreg bullshit as usual but in such a tragic way because I love drama and horror and as much as I post kink and sweetness on this blog, I’m a horror and literary writer in my regular life lol. I want Izzy getting knocked up super young, prior to ever knowing Ed or piracy or anything of the like. His life wasn’t beautiful or soft or good, but he’s still a romantic at heart - call it the whimsy of youth or the impact of his mother, who knows? And when the owner of the boarding house he’s staying in knocks him up, the capital-R Romantic in him builds up a fantasy. That this man has fallen in love with him, that they will have a family, that they will live a simple and tender life together. But that’s just not how things work. Near the end of his second trimester, something happens. Some dockworkers, pirates, whoever, go after him. Who could say why? Later, there’s some talk that they were hired by the boarding house owner’s wife. But it ultimately doesn’t matter. His child never takes a breath and he is forced to bury him alone. Within a week, he’s out at sea, eventually to meet Ed and a crew of his own.

But beyond the past, I’m thinking of how such a reveal would exist with the main three. For Izzy, I feel like - because of what’s written above and the personal head canon that he’s not exactly careful during sex and has tended to either miscarry or abort conceptions with random pirates, he knows the signs of having gotten pregnant by his men. But he figures it is bound to be gone soon enough and does nothing. But there are little things. Changes he makes to care more for this possibility. Because while he will deny it to his last breath, the crew of The Revenge has invited that small capital-R Romantic back to him and maybe he does want a child, wants that softness with Ed and Stede, though he doesn’t know the first thing about such an existence.

For Ed, he would be caught in the middle. On one hand, I think he would fear becoming his father. Not just that he would treat a child in the manner that his father had, but that the title alone is enough to build resentment. That being called “Dad” is almost like a curse, having never known anyone to have a positive connection to that title in his life. He wants to play possum and pretend it isn’t happening, pointedly ignoring any changes that may need to be considered for their future. On the other hand, I also think he would only look at the surface level of the pregnancy and be excited. A baby is a child and children are entertaining. They’re weird and funny and different. He would see the baby to come almost as a commodity or toy, though not intentionally and would not see his views as that, but it is true. Kind of like the inn, he sees this future as a game, and is ready to take on the role (a word chosen very specifically) as father.

For Stede, as much as I love his sweetness and tender nature, I think it would be a mask that is slipping in this context. There is an artist on Twitter that did this beautiful comic (as soon as I can find it, I will link it and the artist here) about Ed and Stede’s time on the island building their inn, during which Ed is trans and gets pregnant, and he continues to have nightmares about Izzy’s death. All the while, Stede is clearly restless, happy to have Ed but not inclined to his return to land and monotony. He said himself that he isn’t meant for domesticity. And I know that the end of the show was rushed for reasons, but I wish Stede and Ed’s uncertainty of their future had been stretched; Stede’s pirating career building as Ed’s is coming to an end is fascinating. But to throw in a baby (and thus a clock) is all the more chaotic. Stede so often takes on this role of lightness and care, but he left his family for a reason. He loves them, but he didn’t want them. And now, the same thing he didn’t want has essentially followed him. How can thinks work out for the three of them? AUGH, I JUST WANT TO UNPACK THIS CHAOS!!

[optimistc-apathy]

Before anything else, I am a writer.

I would also call myself a singer. Or a textile artist, maybe. I could be a sibling, or a friend, or a student, or a baker, or a gardener, or a cook. There is an incredible number of labels you could put on me that would fit.

When I was a kid, I would deny so vehemently that I ever wanted to be a writer. I used to read like it was breathing, and when my relatives would interrupt me in the middle of a story to ask if I'd ever want to author one myself, I would tell them that reading and writing were two different things, thank you very much, and just because I was a reader didn't mean I was a writer.

But, through that love for reading, I ended up figuring out what the phrase "Stockholm Syndrome" meant much younger than you might expect. Think eight or nine, after reading the "Series of Unfortunate Events." Which, if you didn't know, is a notably bad place to garner vocabulary. Lemony Snicket is in the habit of explaining words in a context entirely different from what they actually mean. Still, I have a vivid memory of sitting in a corner of the living room on Thanksgiving as a nine-year-old (reading, naturally), and hearing my sister's boyfriend ask my mom for clarification on the concept of Stockholm Syndrome. I looked up from my book and told him what it was -- much to the chagrin of my parents, who were wondering where I'd learned it.

It's ironic that it was a book that introduced me to the concept of Stockholm Syndrome, and that it was one of the few phrases that Lemony Snicket ever explained correctly. I doubt you're unfamiliar with it, but it means to be trapped or held captive by something, and to grow to love it anyway.

When I think about it now, I realize that it was inevitable that I learned to love to write. I also hated learning how to read, but my dad taught me before I even started kindergarten, and I loved knowing I was better at it than the other kids. It was my way of setting myself apart. I drank so desperately from the books I read that I couldn't help but fill myself with words.

And then, just as inevitably, they had nowhere to go.

That was the first part of my own experience with Stockholm Syndrome. I was folded into myself like origami, with so much to say and no space for it. Every word I'd ever read was crammed into my lungs, and I didn't know what to do with them. It wasn't until I found other people's writing (like Broadway shows I loved, intersectional queer lit, characters that looked and felt and breathed like me, etc.) that I ever wanted to make my own.

I didn't start writing until I was 13. I found my first inspiration -- and what it was, I'll never tell because lord, is it embarrassing -- and I made something out of it. It felt like reaching down into my chest and taking hold of something I barely knew was there and turning myself out onto the page, but in a different font. Whether that be Times New Roman or the chicken scratch I had going in 4 different notebooks simultaneously, there was always something to say. I could never get away from it. And, as the Stockholm Syndrome mention might suggest, I grew to love it.

There is a part of me now that is inextricable from my writing. I put words together to get feelings out, in a way that is both authentic to myself and more beautiful than anything I have ever been. I put words together to process what I've been through. I put words together to write lives that I've never lived, and I grow vicariously through them. I know that love exists because I write it into existence. I am all that I need to be through the words I put down.

At the end of the day, yes. I am fully and completely bound to my writing. I am trapped in a way that I will never experience elsewhere. I would be nothing without it.

But fuck, I love it.

[wonubb]

You as SVT’s translator - Scoups FF

The post-concert depression is urging me to write more. This is for Cheol who literally bias wrecked everyone after seeing him in person. 

Credits to the owner of this GIF.

‘Guys we’ll be live in 15. Get ready.’ The director announced and the make up artists touched up the make up of Seventeen members quickly. You on the other hand sat at the back of the main camera, ready to translate non-Korean questions to the boys. You know several languages apart from English, Korean and Japanese which made you the group’s official translator. 

The show started in a few minutes and they introduced themselves, talked about the latest album then here comes the Q&A portion. They got the usual questions, nothing out of the ordinary and you continued translating for them. 

‘Awesome! Okay this next question is for our leader Scoups. You look so sexy on stage. Are you aware that you make a lot of fans change their bias after seeing you live? What do you feel when fans openly tell you that you are so attractive?’ The host asked and almost all members understood the question with all the familiar words. Joshua and Vernon gave their leader a big smile then gave you a side glance.

You can’t help but feel flushed with the question. Of course you are aware that Cheol is attractive. You are not only the official translator, you are also the leader’s girlfriend. You haven’t made the announcement yet but you have been together for almost a year.

Cheol looked at you with an amused expression. Especially when he saw you blushing. He can’t stop smiling and the host took it as if he’s loving the question. Little did he know that deep inside, Cheol is wondering if you will rephrase the question or change the context a little bit. Which you didn’t. You understood perfectly that fans are curious if SVT knows that some fans are not soft-stans. So you translated it properly and waited for Cheol to respond so you can say his answer.

‘I am thankful for anyone who becomes a fan, even if you just listen and watch our performance. Having some say though that I am their bias is of course flattering. It’s not the first time however that someone said I am attractive. I have someone in my life who says it every now and then,’ he smiled lovingly to you and your face turned redder than it was earlier. Even the members all looked to you with adoring eyes. They all love you because you love Cheol. And what you have is something that they all treasure. They treat you as one of them. 

You composed yourself before translating his answer which expectedly brought a follow up question. ‘Oh, are we revealing someone special?’ The host asked and it didn’t become unnoticed the way all members are looking at you. Luckily, you are behind the camera. You translated the question while low key glaring at him. 

‘Oh, not yet, not right now at least. I’d have to get permission first but yeah, someone says I am sexy and attractive and how I am the best in the world.’ He proudly answered in Korean and you sighed before telling the host what he said. 

‘Well, okay I think the fans can wait until you get the go signal yeah? I guess we all should wait perhaps on your next visit you will be ready to reveal her name, or her face.’ The host side-glanced at you and you gave her a thankful smile. 

The show ended after a few minutes and you are now in the car going back to your hotel. Cheol held your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Jeonghan noticed that you are still nervously breathing so he cracked a joke. ‘Cheol do you want to crash in our room tonight? Seems like you will be thrown out of your hotel room,’ he laughed at his friend while you raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Ehhhh, Y/N you know I was just joking. He wouldn’t do something you haven’t decided together and you know that. But you should also remember that we got your back, okay? No one’s gonna hurt you.’ ‘Thanks, Han, I needed to hear that.’ You softly looked at your boyfriend who has been waiting for you to say something to him. ‘Sorry, love. I promise we will make it public once you are ready. I won’t do that again but come to think of it, there might be more questions about you in the future.’ He’s not wrong. You know people will get more curious now.

‘Well the company is good with us right and they’re just waiting for us to be ready?’ You asked and earned a nod from your boyfriend. ‘I think we can post a picture maybe, or what do you think is the best way to do this?’ ‘Oh my God, do you mean that? You know I wanted to introduce you to everyone, love. I will be proud to say that you, the language genius is my girlfriend. Others won’t be able to relate.’ This earned a smack from Jeonghan. ‘Yah! You know if she’s not your girlfriend then someone from the group could have approached her had you not warned us on her first day at work that she’s off limits.’ You smiled when you remembered your first day at work. He announced to the group that you are there for work only and no monkey business, the next days though you were surprised with flowers and sweet notes. Yup, Choi Seungcheol is a simp. And you love him, so much. 

‘I guess we can do this, you got me, right?’ You leaned on Cheol’s shoulders and he kissed your temple. ‘Always baby, always.’ You both chose to ignore Jeonghan who also leaned by the window and whispered ‘simps, you both are simps.’ 

[queerasaurus-rexx]

i truly dislike the proship/antiship discourse, as i think forcing people to shove their opinions on complex issues in fiction into column a or column b is reductive and completely ignores the context regarding ship dynamics.

age gaps, for example, often get the context pulled out. an age gap between two people in their twenties is like

worlds different from a twenty-year-old dating a fifty-year-old, but anti ship discourse tends to treat both scenarios with the same weight.

and that's not even getting into the paedophilia discourse (which, funnily-not-funnily enough, tends to heavily target queer ships. i wonder why that is.)

the real paedos are on twitter. ao3 doesn't have a direct messaging function (grooming is much easier on sites with a dm feature), and most folks who post porn online are not intending for children to be exposed to it.

and if you really cared about these issues, why are you on tumblr telling an artist who barely gets reblogged to kill themselves for their art and not

you know

yelling at real paedophiles on twitter? yelling at the people on instagram who openly admit they are attracted to real life children and talk about sharing actual child porn?

i do not like art and fic about adults assaulting minors. but i would much prefer using my energy to protect living and breathing children than getting uppity at an author who wrote a ship like that.

on the flipside, however, i think proshippers also tend to let a lot of shit slide that they really shouldn't.

like, racism.

objectively both sides are bad for that, but like, proshippers tend to take their 'fiction doesn't affect reality' argument to mean stuff like slave x master shit about actual chattel slavery is fine. (i have SEEN this shit with my own eyes, do NOT tell this doesn't happen)

this is what i mean when i say both sides have issues with context.

it's ok to admit a ship is in poor taste and probably shouldn't be a thing. it will not kill you. you do not have to defend a gross ship because you support other ships like it.

context. matters.

and do not get me started on those toxic ass enemies to lovers ships that are really just abuse. you've got people like e.l james openly admitting she thinks abuse is a love story, and colleen hoover writing actual, physical assault as romantic. like, she doesn't even have the bdsm excuse (which doesn't really even fly with fifty shades, but you know).

you want a moment where fiction actually affects reality, check the correlation between the release of fifty shades of grey and the increase of its target demographic entering abusive relationships.

sometimes fiction does affect reality, though that fiction tends to need a huge boom in popularity and have a target demographic of people who are still figuring their shit out.

anyway i can't wait for the torrent of hatemail from both sides.

my inbox is open, though that doesn't guarantee i'm gonna read it.

[new-sandrafilter]

Timothée Chalamet and Taylor Russell Will Eat You Alive: How ‘Bones and All’ Became the Year’s Sexiest Cannibal Love Story

By Nick Vivarelli Photographs by Jason Hetherington

Timothée Chalamet has been on a wilder world tour than most rock stars.

Between shooting “Dune: Part Two” in Budapest and “Wonka” in London and the cannibal romance “Bones and All” in Ohio, he’s hardly had time to sleep in his own bed. “We did the ‘French Dispatch’ premiere in Cannes,” he says about the debut of the Wes Anderson comedy in the south of France two summers ago, where he walked the red carpet in a silver suit. “And then I was immediately doing the vocal and dance training at Leavesden” — to take on the role of Roald Dahl’s Willy Wonka — “which was wonderful, because I went from playing a disenfranchised cannibal on the outskirts of American society in the ’80s to a gifted young chocolatier and now a space prophet.”

On this afternoon, 26-year-old Chalamet is taking a break from inhabiting the dangerous planet Arrakis in “Dune: Part Two” to attend the London premiere of “Bones and All.” The drama, which premiered to a 10-minute standing ovation at the Venice Film Festival in early September reteams Chalamet with Luca Guadagnino, the Italian director who turned him into a movie star with 2017’s Sundance darling “Call Me by Your Name.” That gay romance, in which Chalamet plays Elio, an American teenager who falls in love with an older man, not only made Chalamet, then 22, the second-youngest best actor Oscar nominee in history, it gave peach emojis a whole new reason for existing.

If “Bones and All” could be just as culturally relevant, Hollywood would breathe a sigh of relief — because the world of indie cinema could use a jolt. Some 20 years ago, a generation of movie lovers funded art-house theaters by supporting “Boogie Nights,” “Memento” and “The Virgin Suicides.” Now, the 2022 equivalent of storytelling like that is HBO’s “Euphoria.” Post-pandemic box office numbers are sharply down, particularly for smaller movies, which is why United Artists Releasing has given “Bones and All” a Nov. 18 theatrical release: It’s the same window in which almost all installments of the “Twilight” saga dropped, setting multiplexes on fire as teen girls showed up in droves for Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.

When I meet Chalamet in a hotel room in London, the young actor offers to pour me a glass of sparkling water as we sit down for a conversation with Guadagnino and Chalamet’s co-star, Taylor Russell. Hollywood has had a deficit of movie stars lately, particularly in the 20-something age bracket. Chalamet’s superstar appeal has always been in his “soft boy” aesthetic (which was famously parodied in a hilarious “Saturday Night Live” skit by Chloe Fineman). His fans like that he’s approachable, but he can also turn it up like royalty on a carpet — as he did at the Venice premiere of “Bones and All” in a red jumpsuit with a bare back that created a commotion on the Lido. Chalamet was showered with more cheers than even Harry Styles, who touched down in Italy at the start of awards season for “Don’t Worry Darling.” (Despite speculation on Twitter, Styles didn’t spit on Chris Pine.)

At Venice, Chalamet made headlines when he proclaimed that it’s “tough to be alive” in the age of social media, adding, “I think societal collapse is in the air.” When asked to elaborate on this assertion in London, he backpedals: “I think what I was saying was really, ‘What would it be like to grow up now?’” he says. “I guess I’m still growing up. Especially in the context of my career, I’m still growing. But I think Taylor and my generation was really the level-one social media — Vine, MySpace. And I think now it’s just more ingrained. But I’m definitely not the authority on the subject. And, equally, it could be a great space to find your people.”

I’d taken my 14-year-old daughter with me to the premiere of “Bones and All,” and we watched the screaming hysteria around Chalamet. When the movie premiered six weeks later in Milan, hundreds of Chalamet’s devotees — his followers are known as the “Chalamaniacs” — swarmed the venue, forcing police to close down the red carpet due to safety concerns. Such fandom harks back to the early days of Leo, Matt, George and Brad.

“Venice — that was fun,” Chalamet says, though “fame,” to people of his generation, is a dirty word, and Chalamet clearly wants to be seen as a regular guy (for instance, he continued to ride the subway in New York after “Call Me by Your Name” premiered). “I enjoy those moments,” he says, “and have a lot of gratitude for them. And I definitely never want to be expectant about it.” Abruptly switching subjects, he adds, “And, I must say, I get very excited about the lens we made this movie through — that there’s a fable and a metaphor at the heart of it, not some massive corporate interest.”

An arty New York City kid at heart, Chalamet chooses his own looks, including the black leather Celine jacket he wears at our photo shoot. As for his thoughts on cinema, he has a soft spot for indie films. “Those are the kind of projects that I grew up loving,” he says. “Even just on the music side, those are the kind of artists that inspire me — not because there’s a beat per minute that places well in the Top 40, but because they’re just putting their artistic ethos on something.”

Chalamet knows a little something about music. At the famed LaGuardia High School, he had the rap moniker Lil Timmy Tim. An uncovered video of him rapping about statistics class while wearing a backward baseball cap has been watched 10 million times on YouTube. Soon, he’ll be returning to those roots (sort of) by channeling a young Bob Dylan in “Going Electric,” a biopic directed by James Mangold.

Although there have been starts and stops with “Going Electric” since it was first announced two years ago, Chalamet confirms that he’s still attached. “I haven’t stopped preparing, which has been one of the greatest gifts for me,” he says. “It’s been a wonderful experience getting to dive into that world, whether we get to make it or not. But without giving anything away — because I don’t want to beat anyone to the punch, and obviously things have to come together officially — the winds that are blowing are blowing in a very positive direction.”

Before that, fans will get a taste of Chalamet’s musical gifts in “Wonka,” which is set to open in theaters around Christmas 2023. Chalamet trained hard for the movie’s seven musical numbers. “That was something I was very excited to jump into right away,” he says. Director Paul King “built a literal dance studio in one of the lots at Leavesden in London at Warner Bros.,” he adds.

The actor’s career blossomed after “Call Me by Your Name,” with two dramas directed by Greta Gerwig — “Lady Bird” and “Little Women.” And then he landed the lead as Paul Atreides in the “Dune” franchise, his biggest hit to date.

“Dune: Part Two,” which he’s filming now, reunites him with “Little Women” co-star Florence Pugh. “We were joking on set that we keep doing these movies, and we end up together even though we should be ending up with different people,” he says. “Florence is really special. She’s an incredible actor. She was incredible in ‘Dune’ — seriously incredible. She brought a gravitas to the role. And I can’t believe my good fortune at this young age … between Taylor Russell in ‘Bones and All’ and Zendaya in ‘Dune.’ And Austin Butler’s in that movie too.”

Zendaya will have a larger role in the second “Dune,” reprising her part as the warrior Chani. “She hasn’t wrapped yet,” he says, “and it’s amazing. She’s bringing exactly what she brought to the first one — which was incredible — but in greater abundance. And she’s really become a sister. I’m so grateful to count her as a partner and a sister and a friend” — he looks over at Guadagnino — “and also to share stories about how amazing it is to work with Luca, because we worked with him back to back on wildly different projects.” He’s referencing the fact that Zendaya collaborated with Guadagnino on “Challengers,” a romantic comedy set in the tennis world, which is in postproduction.

“He saw the movie,” Guadagnino teases, goading Chalamet to comment.

Chalamet hesitates, not wanting to give away anything about the film. “Loved it,” he finally says. His smile lights up the room.

If we’re being honest, this Oscar season has been a bit boring. Between the period pieces and the dramas made from memoirs, most directors aren’t cutting too deep. So perhaps we shouldn’t count out a love story about two cannibals who eat their way through the back roads of America.

The conventional wisdom is that blood and guts is too much for most Academy voters, but Guadagnino is here to tell you that’s not always the case. “In the history of the Oscars, cannibalism has been a gigantic plus,” he says. He then lists the five Academy Awards handed to the greatest flesh-eating masterpiece of all time, “The Silence of the Lambs.” “There’s a very tough novel, the talented script and Sir Anthony Hopkins as the unforgettable cannibal.” He cites the film’s director, Jonathan Demme, as a strong influence on his own career.

“I’m not comparing myself or us to that masterpiece,” he says. (OK, maybe he is, just a little.) “But that was a love story like ‘Bones and All.’ It was a fun, twisted love story between a cannibal psychoanalyst and a very stern woman who wants to save herself by saving this other girl from the lair of a serial killer.”

If you’re raising your eyebrows at someone describing “Silence of the Lambs” as “fun,” you haven’t met Guadagnino. The tall, chatty Italian director has spent his entire life obsessing over Dario Argento’s horror classic “Suspiria.” Following “Call Me by Your Name,” Guadagnino directed an elegant remake, in which flesh is ripped and heads explode.

Now, he’s reunited with Chalamet on “Bones and All, which is not quite the next “Silence of the Lambs” but more along the lines of Terrence Malick’s “Badlands” or Baz Luhrmann’s “Romeo + Juliet.” In “Bones,” Chalamet and Russell play Lee and Maren, teenage misfits in the 1980s, who find each other in a roadside convenience store as they’re both drifting across the Midwest. As they travel together, they feed on strangers they meet along the way.

But just don’t compare cannibals to vampires with this crew. “I love the ‘Twilight’ movies so much,” says Russell, who broke out in 2019 with a heart-wrenching performance in Trey Edward Shults’ family drama “Waves” and now could have a shot at some awards-season gold playing Maren. “But this is different. They both deal with blood and people who are not normal, but ‘Twilight’ has vampires and this movie has cannibals.”

For many years, Guadagnino — the director of “The Protagonists,” “I Am Love” and “A Bigger Splash” (all starring his muse, Tilda Swinton) — was either detested or ignored within Italy’s insular film milieu, and the feeling was mutual. So it’s not surprising that the first time I met him, in 2009, he told me his goal was to become “a Hollywood insider.” Surely, “Call Me by Your Name” brought him a step closer to that dream. And now his association with Chalamet has potentially clinched the deal.

When asked how “Bones and All” made it to the big screen, Guadagnino says, “The honest, direct and completely unapologetic answer is Timothée.”

Chalamet was in Rome doing reshoots for the first “Dune,” stuck in Europe during the pandemic, when Guadagnino sent him the “Bones and All” screenplay. They talked at length, and the actor realized that this could be the first project in which he might have a hand in shaping his character.

“It excited me, because it felt like it was very different than the first project we had done together,” Chalamet says. “It excited me, too, because I felt the bones of Lee — no pun intended — were there, but there was a lack of direction.” Guadagnino encouraged Chalamet to fill out the character by working with the screenwriter, David Kajganich, an experience he’d never had before.

“When Luca said I should get on the phone with David, and that process started, I was seriously warming to the idea that — without sounding pretentious — we would be going to the middle of America with Luca to shoot his first American film.” He adds, “And because a couple projects I’d done were of such a size, I felt like I really wanted the challenge of going back in a more ‘indie environment.’” He uses his fingers as quotation marks.

Kajganich, with whom Guadagnino collaborated on “Suspiria,” had originally adapted the YA novel “Bones & All” by Camille DeAngelis for “The Devil All the Time” director Antonio Campos. When Campos backed out, the writer asked Guadagnino to read it.

“When Lee shows up on the page,” says Guadagnino, “I found Timmy.”

Despite having a big star attached, the cannibal romancer was not an easy sell to investors. Guadagnino and Chalamet, both producers on the film, didn’t want a studio on board, so they sought out Italian financiers. The fact that they and all the other actors were willing to defer their fees “really helped with investors,” says producer Francesco Melzi d’Eril.

Once the $35 million film was completed, it was immediately snapped up, sight unseen, by MGM.

Taylor Russell could see her character clearly when she first read the script for “Bones and All.” “What struck me about her initially is that she’s this kind of creature who feels like there’s something off with her, like a picture frame that’s slanted,” Russell says. “And I wanted to work through that exercise of ‘If there is something inherently wrong with me, is there a way to break through that?’”

Guadagnino told Russell and Chalamet that they had to sink their teeth into the role of real cannibals. “The intention was always that we were hopefully doing justice to the reality of these people’s lives,” says Russell.

Guadagnino calls “Bones” “a fairy tale.” “It’s about two young people — a girl, in particular — roaming this world of darkness and dealing with the challenges within and without, finding love in the gaze of one another and trying to overcome impossibility.”

Still, the outcast lovers feast on human body parts, a butchery the film does not shy away from. Guadagnino says quickly that he and his editor, Marco Costa, made a point of cutting away from gratuitous gore. He was not interested in shock value but rather an intensity of desire.

Russell and Chalamet, for their part, wanted to explore the emotional relationship more than the cannibalism. But, Russell says, they also “talked about eating somebody, eating anything, using your body, your hands, your mouth — it’s so tactile, so physical, that, in some ways, it’s simple.”

Guadagnino and his team thought about the consequences of a precarious life led roaming through cornfields and along back roads in the 1980s Midwest, “dealing with violence and the unexpected.”

“We came up with a lot of very subtle ideas about wearing the fatigue of being an eater on their faces and bodies — like scars in unpredictable places because of the reactions of the victims, who wounded them.”

One of Chalamet’s first lines in the film is “If you weigh 140 pounds wet, you got to have an attitude — a big attitude.” Asked whether he lost weight for the role, Chalamet answers, “Yeah,” without elaborating on how many pounds he’d dropped. Then he says, “That look that Maren and Lee have, I think it feeds the fablelike quality of the story, and of people that are living in extremes. As opposed to what the reality would be, perhaps: If you were consistently devouring entire human bodies, it would probably leave you with a bigger figure than they have.”

Chalamet worked with costume designer Giulia Piersanti on Lee’s look, riffing off the grunge aesthetic of 1980s punk rock. “Lee would want to express himself through his clothes,” Chalamet says. To help with this mix of big attitude and skinny body, they decided to dye his hair with sun-bleached streaks of pinkish reds, chop off some curls on the sides, and give Lee tattoos on his arms and hand.

Of course, everyone wants to know if Chalamet and Guadagnino are planning a sequel to “Call Me by Your Name.” Guadagnino floated the idea almost as soon as he debuted the original at Sundance, while he was doing press with Chalamet and Armie Hammer, who played Chalamet’s older lover, Oliver. But the project’s chances of making it to the screen have dwindled in the wake of allegations against Hammer in early 2021 for being physically and emotionally abusive to women, including suggesting that he eat their flesh. (Despite speculation in the tabloids, these cannibal exchanges had nothing to do with the inspiration for “Bones and All.”)

“I would love to make a second and third and fourth chapter of all my movies,” Guadagnino says. “Why? Because I truly love the actors I work with, so I want to repeat the joy of doing what we did together.”

However, when it comes to “Call Me by Your Name,” Guadagnino says, “there is no hypothesis, so there is no movie. It’s a wish and a desire, and I have not made up my mind about what would be the story.” When asked if the film could still include Hammer’s character, he says, “Yeah, of course.” Then he presents another potential storyline for a sequel — following Mafalda, the housekeeper, played by Vanda Capriolo, who resides in Elio’s family’s summer home. “Which is divine,” he says. “I would be very interested in seeing what is the life of Mafalda when she’s not around the family.”

After our group conversation, I meet with Guadagnino again in a bare, neon-lit room that seems better suited to a police interrogation than an interview. He is walking on crutches, one leg in a short fracture boot, due to his tripping on the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures stage after presenting a Visionary Award to Tilda Swinton in L.A. a few days earlier.

On the red carpet, before the Academy Museum ceremony, Guadagnino teased “Challengers,” his first U.S. studio film, which is being produced for MGM by Amy Pascal. To get Guadagnino on board, Pascal had sent him the “Challengers” script and pushed him to read it that same afternoon. She called him every half hour “until I surrendered and I read it.”

So does Guadagnino finally feel he has become a Hollywood insider?

“No,” he says, “not yet. But I can fall from the stage of the Academy Museum and be helped by many Hollywood insiders.” Among those who came to his aid were Adrien Brody, Alicia Vikander and his longtime agent, Bryan Lourd. “That was a good feeling. A lot of Hollywood insiders love me very much.”

[twinkskeletons]

okay first off, love you <333 and secondly, it’s gonna. well i can’t promise it’s gonna get better tomorrow or next week but it might, you never know!!! that’s the thing about us (rock bottom sue eye cide craving 20-somethings), things can’t really get much worse anyway so! the only way is up! (<- me forcing myself into optimism so i don’t kms)

what i can promise is that your life isn’t meaningless, waking up isn’t meaningless, getting up isn’t meaningless. hell, staying in bed isn’t meaningless. not in the context of your life, and the things happening around you. and if you think about the context of the universe then all of it is meaningless anyway so might as well reduce it down until you find meaning! otherwise what would be the point of art and literature and music and nature? it’s not gonna matter in the end, but it matters NOW. and so do you. bc how else are you gonna experience all that?

“inherent worth to your life” arguments never worked on me, honestly, and neither did “but the ppl whose lives you make better :(“ ones (they might for you!!!) bc literally they don’t exist really, but what did work on me is realising that kms would mean i wouldn’t get to look at stuff anymore. not read nor write nor listen to music nor rain nor poetry nor watch films and sunrises and birds nesting and the way the sky darkens and the moon. the moon! that big ass rock! illuminated by another’s light and yet the most beautiful thing to lift your eye to! im a bit of a romantic so you know. that worked on me. has been working for like, half a decade now. so you reallllllllllllly gotta find the argument that works on you.

cause there’s stuff that’s important to you, right? reduce it down to that, if you have to, for now, even if it’s one thing. love that one thing with everything you have. it’s gonna get easier to breathe. so breathe. breathe when it’s easy, and breathe extra hard when it’s hard. i believe in you!!!!!!!! “meaning” is so fucking vague anyway. who decides that shit!!! who cares!!! the most important part is that inside you there’s a beating heart whose pumping is testament to the love you feel for whatever it is. there’s meaning in that, i can definitely promise that.

this got. extraordinarily long. so im sorry for giving you the choice to read all that cause really, you don’t have to. but i hope it helps, like, just a little, to recategorize and breaaatheeeeeee. xo

waugh this is so nice thank u :’) i think my biggest problem is that im just. so alone and that will never change and can really only get worse when my entire family disowns me for being trans. only time i talk to people im not related to is when im threatening suicide on tumblr lolll and i kind of dont know how to interact with people outside of that anymore.. not sure i ever did actually my experience with the three friends i made in high school was sitting and listening to them talk to each other and never saying anything myself which. doesn’t really translate to online very well. ur right though there are at least two things i care abt my dogs and my art so i guess i just need 2 really focus on those 👍 keep making merch and planning that potential artist alley table

[jmdbjk]

They are different y'all...

Keep scrolling if kinkiness makes you uncomfortable.

While I've been watching JK's live (post coming soon) someone pointed out the rings JK is wearing in his Seven schedule poster... the ring with the ring on it...has connotations in the BDSM world... those who wear it are signaling their submissiveness. In that same line of thought, Jimin was wearing thumb rings on both hands in his Like Crazy MV... thumb rings in a homosexual context...

and this could be an outdated thing, but a man is signaling he is open to certain types of sex... this is definitely outdated but at one time men wearing a single earring in the left ear signals he's straight, in the right ear he is gay. In the Like Crazy MV, Jimin had his single earring in the left ear but he looks into the mirror and it is in his right ear.

The bisexual/bigender coding in the MV was off the charts.

And we already talked about Jimin's Like Crazy MV Mapplethorpe pants and how David Mapplethorpe was deep into the BDSM world.

We've heard Jimin asking JK if he liked it when he was tied at the wrists and running through the woods... ahem... I've already talked about their lil kinky selves before... I can't find the posts but if you've been following me a while, you know what I've been saying...

They have a thing for strappy, tying things...

I've been saying... they are different y'all. Listen to me.

So what are Jimin and Jungkook trying to tell us? Why show us these things? Are these just stylists choices? I think not. There are too many instances for any of it to be coincidence or just a "stylists choice."

The members are too involved in how they express themselves individually during this solo era. Sexual kink is not really a big deal but why even go there? Personally, I love seeing them express ALL sides of themselves. The hints Jimin has given us are more and more explicit as time goes on. I don't buy the argument that "they don't know what that means." Of course they do. They are grown men. They are not virgins. They are living breathing red-blooded males in the prime of their lives.

The way they are presenting these concepts to us is still very conservative when compared to what I see from western artists. What Jimin and Jungkook have shown us, especially Jimin... is very tasteful, elegant, teasing and thought provoking, not raunchy and in-your-face. I want to say to some western artists: I would prefer not to have your twat in my face so please close your legs. But alas...

And now it is Jungkook's time to show us his colors. For some reason I don't mind his crotch in my face... I digress...

Anyway... JK live post coming soon. He's a hoot.

EDIT: Whoa someone got triggered (lmao). Yes, its a very cool ring. And its ok if its just a cool ring for some or most people. Cuz, wow, cool ring. What I said though was the ring "has connotations". I did not say this ring was designed specifically with this in mind. (Reading comprehension is appalling these days.)

But you know... the designer doesn't have to be associated with the lifestyle or even had any intention of associating their design with anything specific. But someone IN the lifestyle would recognize the design motif. This particular ring's attached ring is a "spring" clasp? Like what you use to clasp necklaces? So um... you could attach a chain easily to this ring? I see. Well. Cool ring bro.

And it's also ok if you don't want to see the message Jimin is expressing. I'm sure he's used to people turning a blind eye on what he's trying to say. It's also ok to say your opinion differs from mine and not try to make your opinion the correct one because honestly, no one knows anything and to think you do know, well... that would be next level dumb wouldn't it?

[startreatment]

i can't believe i haven't asked for your in depth thoughts on the car yet but i am asking it now! has the top 5 changed?

so i just checked and my top 5 was mirrorball, big ideas, hello you, sculptures and mr schwartz and tbh i don't think it did. i'm not sure about mr schwartz, i think it might be switched for the car or jet skis on the moat, but yeah. some thoughts on each track individually:

there'd better be a mirrorball: instant classic, come on now! gorgeous production, THE STRINGS!!, smooth vocals, so hazy, beautiful and atmospheric. i cried to it more times than i am willing to admit, it really is a tearjerker. i've seen some people say that lyrics are the weakest part of the album, which i obviously disagree with, but especially on this one. it's pretty simple, but still effective and touching. "i'd throw the rose tint back on the exploded view darling, if i were you" always gets me.

i ain't quite where i think i am: FUN!! the weakest one on the album, but i genuinely love it. WAAAAAAH!! i am a she looks like fun enjoyer as well, so i guess i just like having fun idk?

sculptures of anything goes: no words to adequately explain the sheer grip this one has on me. everything i wanted and more. so dark, ominous, rich and textured, we love her!! and the title's very cool, too. it is a career highlight idc what y'all say!! 5 years from now we're gonna treat it with the same respect and love we treat crying lightning, four out of five and other pretties. love. alex turner work on a portishead inspired album challenge

jet skis on the moat: didn't grab me on the first listen, but it's actually very cute! gives me western vibes, one of the songs that reminds me of TBHC the most, for some reason. love the way he delivers "or are you just happy to sit there and watch while the paint job dries?". "you know that it's alright if you're wanna cry" thank you alex, but i have been bawling since the first track so <3

body paint: still sad it didn't live up to my very high expectations that were set up by that damn kings theatre live "leak", but i appreciate it way more in context. the piano riff is insane tho, sometimes it just randomly plays in my head throughout the day. also, really enjoy the first lyric. "for a master of deception and subterfuge you've made yourself quite the bed to LIE in" ok we get it you're very funny. also. "and i'm keeping on my costume and calling it a writing tool"? yeah he's.......... mhm

the car: ruins me the same way ultracheese does, which means i sob uncontrollably until i feel like there's no air around me at all. childhood memories always get me so hard and the strings add a sense of melancholy i can't handle. very sick of them to put it in the middle of the fucking record! anyway, it kinda reminds me of faust arp by radiohead, which is a win, because in rainbows is very good. good track!

big ideas: have i ever said that we should artists grow? let them change and flourish and explore new things? hm, idk. lyrically it's a bit too on the nose, which is not what i was expecting at all, but it's a welcome change from cryptic TBHC lyrics. sometimes i just want him to say what he thinks, you know? and we're gonna stop analysing the lyrics now, because i don't wanna get upset.

hello you: the first make me hold my breath and stop me in my tracks no matter what i'm doing (kinda like nfwmb foof and diwk do so. do with that what you will). that piano riff (? can you call it that idk i know nothing about music) is CRAZYYYY. also plays in my head throughout the day, so catchy and fun. lego napoleon moveh. vortex to vortex. the buisness they call show. 'ello gruesome. HELLOOOO YOU. might be my favourite from the record if i'm being completely honest. sorry, i love a good instrumental, what can i say. i actually saw someone say it's pattern with no miles, which is pretty accurate!

mr. schwartz: my head hurts. again, not getting into the lyrics, but i HAVE to point out that "and if wе guess who i'm pretending to be, do we win a prize?" makes me wanna lay down for a sec. also FINGERPICKING!!

perfect sense: why is it so short. melancholic (what a surprise), but doesn't make me wanna die! it's the type of melancholy that you feel when you're watching the last episode of your favourite show. a nice farewell song that sounds sad but hopeful, a gorgeous closer. they Know how to write a good closing track for sure. love it!!

my overall review: makes me cry, but it's very good. would love to have a couple more tracks that sound like i ain't quite or hello you to dilute the ... whatever's going on in the middle that makes me sob, but i can also appreciate the fact that it's just 10 tracks. still, we want b-sides @ am. make it happen!!!!! a 9/10, already in my top 3 (which is tbhc > humbug > fwn = the car), taylor swift cant't relate

[sophieswundergarten]

I've seen several things talking about S. Q. and "The Oh Hellos", and I happen to very much enjoy The Oh Hellos". So far I've noticed @sqenthusiast bring up Constellations, Dear Wormwood, Bitter Water, and Thus Always To Tyrants. While I whole heartedly agree, I would also like to add my own thoughts in a way that is definitely not me going through nearly all of their songs in an excessive and repetitive manner that is wildly out of context and that nobody asked for:

There will come a poet / Whose weapon is His word / He will slay you with His tongue - "Soldier, Poet, King"

I really feel like this embodies his attitude and artistic mind, and even though he may not always be good at words, he speaks honestly and from his heart

Heartache, I've heard, is part of life, and I have broken more and more

That we can learn to love without demand, with unreserved honesty

I'll give you all I have to spend / And you'll give nothing back to me

I will wait for this to end / The back and forth, the battery / For you, at last, to comprehend the kind of love of which I speak - "This Will End"

This is such a melancholy description of his perception of his relationship with Curtain

Could you love me more / If by the sun and moon I swore / That I would never flee

And I know I shouldn't love you / I know I shouldn't love you but I do

I feel it in my soul / I feel the empty hole / The cup that can't be filled

Even now you mark my steps / Lovely bitter water / All the days of our delights are poison in my veins - "Bitter Water"

More Curtain symbolism! He is so loyal, and he will always remember the times that he chose to love his dad, even when Curtain was making bad decisions. (Also I totally stole this one from @sqenthusiast, so don't forget that)

There beneath the willow tree, I learned a lot about the way of things / I learned that everything has breath inside

I know, I know this / There is beauty in the way of things - "There Beneath"

This I think is part of how he see life: through the lens of beauty and nature, and with a respectful awe and wonder at the world

Gather the soldiers, the heir to enfold / Crown him and give him a sceptre to hold - "Caesar"

This is pretty solely because of the ideas about Jackson, Jillson, and Jeffers trying to make him take over Curtain's work

It was the raging storm of a foreign war / And a face I'd seen before - "Pale White Horse"

When Curtain is beginning the Improvement and then things go to pieces, allowing S. Q. to see what was going on outside the island for the first time

I have always known you / You have always been there in my mind / But now I understand you / And I will not be part of your designs

I know who I am now / And all that you've made of me / I know who you are now / And I name you my enemy

I know who I am now / I know who I want to be / I want to be more than / This devil inside of me - "Dear Wormwood"

Also stolen from @sqenthusiast! I imagine S. Q. starting to make a stand as he learns what Curtain was doing, and (especially in the books) he separates himself from Curtain's villainous actions, but not from Curtain himself

To and fro, I will not follow / Where you go, I will not also - "Thus Always To Tyrants"

Ditto from everything in the last note

We were born in the shadow / Of the crimes of our fathers / Blood was our inheritance / No, we did not ask for this - "The Valley"

Poor S. Q. probably had such a weird reputation as the headmaster's son, since many people would probably resent him or be scared of him, but the kid himself is so nice

He'd put me deep / Deep under so that he could work - "Like The Dawn"

This just caught my attention because of how S. Q. was brainswept in the books

I ran like a speeding train / Cut my hair and changed my name / Only had myself to blame / For the company I was keeping - "Wishing Well"

When S. Q. begins living on his own, and realizes he can make decisions independent of how he was raised

I have made mistakes, I continue to make them / The promises I've made, I continue to break them / And all the doubts I've faced, I continue to face them / But nothing is a waste if you learn from it - "I Have Made Mistakes"

The kid tries so hard to be a good person and a good son, but when he has to recognise that what Curtain is doing is wrong he must feel horribly guilty for being "disloyal", but as he gains a support system he is able to work on growing out of it. He starts to learn from the Benedicts that he is able to let go of the guilt, and that he is able accept grace and understand life as a learning experience

(This one is the whole entire song, but read it and tell me that I shouldn't have included it)

I was young I was young and naive As I was told As I was told, so I believed And I was told there's only one road that leads you home

And the truth was a cave on the mountainside And I'd seek it out until the day I died

I was bound I was bound and determined To be the child To be the child that you wanted But I was blind to every sign you left for me to find

And the truth became a tool that I held in my hand And I wielded it, but I didn't understand

I was tired of giving more than you gave to me And I desired a truth I wouldn't have to seek

But in the silence I heard you calling out to me - "The Truth Is A Cave"

And the way the shadows on the wall are cast / Look like a twisted apparition from the past / And all the memories come flooding fast / A wilderness you kinda miss - "Grow"

~~Nightmares~~

At the edges of my fingers / Never quite closing round it / Oh, that peace like a river / Always going, but never getting

Maybe that's what it's all about / We keep fixing what we know is only bound to break / What's worth saving is never worth letting go to waste / I want to mend what I've got, instead of throwing away

Ain't nothing come easy / No, nothing comes quick / It's gonna hurt like hell to become well / But if we set the bone straight / It'll mend

But I want for you this, that you are well / I want for us this, that we are well - "Theseus"

He gets to grow as a human!! He starts to make choices, and he chooses to make amends with his dad, and he makes the decision to work on strengthening his relationships with the others, even though it's scary for him

But I swear with all your burnt bridges / You could leech what's caustic and find / A rudimentary lye / Some kinda miraculous bind

All the things we've broken / Can be puzzled together again / All your sums and your pieces / Are enough to clean up / All the messes you've made

I've heard / If I were tougher / Then maybe I'd make it alive /I got a tender side /I'll need a harder shell to survive

I don't know I've seen a thing grow / Without an open coat / Not without a softness showing

It's gonna hurt like hell /But we're gonna be well / I'll give you my best shot - "Soap"

This is whole exactly what I think about S. Q. and Curtain's relationship

Like constellations imploding in the night / Everything is turning, everything is turning / The shapes that you drew may change beneath a different light / And everything you thought you knew / Will fall apart, but you'll be all right - "Constellations"

Again, stole it, but this set of lyrics is so important to me and I think that it is a really good way of talking about transitions in life

But the water's rising (quicker than light and sound) / From the seas within me (coming up from the ground) / And I try to fight it (cumulonimbus clouds) / But I drain completely (cover the sun and drown it out) - "Notos"

I imagine this is like an internal commentary of S. Q. when he's being overwhelmed by all of the emotions (either to stand up to his dad or just in general)

Hello, my old heart / It's been so long Since I've given you away / And every day, I add another stone / To the walls I built around you / To keep you safe

Oh, oh, don't leave me here alone / Don't tell me that we've grown For having loved a little while / Oh, oh, I don't wanna be alone / I wanna find a home / And I wanna share it with you - "Hello My Old Heart"

The kid has so much love and trust and no one besides Curtain to share it with, and so I think he would take a while adjusting to being around so many people who want to love him, even though it's what he's wanted

When the bitter creeps in / To bite you whole / A spectre unreflected, oh / It keeps you cold - "Cold"

This and the one after are such poetic descriptions of how we see his arguments with Curtain go, because you see his nerve fail and his words stall because even with all of the feelings behind them, he doubts himself

So I'll keep half of my words in my mouth / Let the syllables fall out / At a steady trickling / I'll be your roof caving in - "Lapis Lazuli"

Yeah, I'm one spoon away / From setting the ends of my hair on fire / If I'm kindling for a little while / At least I'd feel of use

Making lists, folding laundry / Keeping tidy with my radio show / I'd be lying if I told you / I'm keeping tidy anymore - "Boreas"

I think that, although he may not be up to speed in relational stuff, he's very mature in random things like keeping a schedule (because he didn't have anyone enforcing it on the island and he needed to have one so he created it himself) and while he may not know how to cook he probably spent a lot of time looking for something he could do to help, either his dad or the staff, so he could be useful

He has hoisted out of the mire every child / So lift your voice with timbrel and lyre / We will abide, we will abide, we will abide -"Where Is Your Rider"

This is more Curtain/the Waiting Room/Messengers, but I really wanted to include it because I though it was neat that it fit

[sodomyordeath]

FAQ

//What do you look like?

//What’s your name?

Stage/DJ Name: Doc

Drag Name: Helela aka Helela Hveðrungrssdóttir

//What…are you?

Homo sapiens sapiens (rev 1.1b?)

Member of the Goth / Metal / Psychobilly Tribes

I’m queer ( more specifically GenderQueer / Pansexual / Polyamorous )

Pronouns: they/them but I don’t terribly mind he/him

she/her is acceptable when I’m in Drag

I’m a carnivor

I’m a Nontheistic Satanist (aka Atheist with an attitude)

I’m a Misanthrope

I’m a proud slut

I don’t believe. I know or I know not.

I love my reclaimed slurs for all the blood & tears we had to spill to make ‘em our own.

I love the Night

//Where do you live?

Mostly in Hotel rooms but my homebase is in Bavaria, Germany

//How old are you?

I’m born in ‘77 Ancient

//What do you do for money?

Day: Network Security Consultant

Night: Nightlife Personality/ DJ, Performance Artist

Retired

//What did you do for money?

Tattoo & Body Mod Artist

Music Journalist & Critic

A & R 

Project Leader Software Development

Troubleshooter

//What was your oddest job(s)?

Worked at a Abattoir

Worked as a Mortician’s Assistent

//What do/did you do for fun?

Writing and performing music

Acting

Modeling

Fun Time is over

//What’s your bad habbits?

Blood & Glitter

Sex, Drugs & Rock’n’Roll

//Can you cook?

My guests say so, yes.

//Can you sew?

My sewing skills are on pair with my soldering iron skills.

It gets the job done but is nothing to write home about.

//Can you dance?

I practiced Rock and Roll dance in my younger years and have my ballroom basics down.

When it comes to anything else I’m a blank.

//Have you ever practiced martial arts?

Yea I started with Greco-Roman wrestling when I was a little kid.

Practiced judo for a year.

Tried boxing but switched to Muay Thai and droped it after 2 years.

Got into Taekwondo when I started playing American Football as a counterbalance and practiced it for about 3 years.

Nowadays I keep on practicing german ju-jutsu but not as regularly as I should.

//Can you handle a gun?

Yep and a Bow and also a Crossbow.

//Any other unusual skills?

I only need 4 hours of sleep to be fully rested

I’m a trained lifeguard & rescue diver (Wasserwacht), 

I have all skills one would need for Modern Pentathlon but I hate cross-country running and shooting toy guns.

I’d also prefer a Sabre (well a real one not a sports toy)

I can handle a bullwhip.

I love picking up new skills.

There are plenty more but who want’s to be a tell all?

//Fishing or Hunting?

Both

//Do you like camping?

It’s a necessary evil.

//Do you meditate?

No, not really.

I can get into a fully relaxed state by just closing my eyes and breathing for 10 seconds.

//Do you believe in reincarnation?

As I sayed I don’t believe.

//Jedi or Sith?

Peace is a lie, there is only passion. Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power. Through power, I gain victory. Through victory, my chains are broken.

Sounds pretty “path of the left hand” to me so Sith.

//Movie or Book?

Both if they are good.

//Favourite colour?

Black, silver, red in that order

//Lucky Number?

φ, 69, 13 in that order

//Top or Bottom?

Dominant Top

//Got any more?

Just Ask

Here are the rules:

No Children. This is not for you.

No Porn Blogs[1]

No RP Blogs[1] 

No PR Blogs. Try to look legit somewhere else.

No bots.

For the "Good Christians” and right wing Knuckleheads. You’re not gonna like it here so move along.

Consider this blog NSFW

Use your common sense and stay away from stuff that will upset you. That’s your trigger warning.

If you think I agree with your ideology, you’re wrong.

All non original content is property of the respective owners.

All my original content belongs to me no rights are granted to 3ed parties outside the context of this site.

[1] Don’t start whining make a fucking sideblog.

[wtfcraigslistnyc]

THE LOST GOLDEN SKULL

I was asked recently what became of the skull of my friend and mentor, LANCE DE LOS REYES.

For context. Lance was a modern American artist who worked in many mediums. These would include; canvas, assemblage, sculpture, poetry and graffiti that was often painted in very dangerous and high exposure surfaces such as billboards.

He became very well known for writing RAMBO and was even interviewed by VICE magazine about his relationship to his alter ego. In the piece he simply stated that he knew him but that he was most certainly not him. The interviewer really tried to play into the graffiti culture trop of shine and recognition but ultimately what he was writing on the billboards was part of a much larger and more ambitious piece or art that he’d worked his entire life to construct.

The pinnacle of his masterpiece was something I was told he had been talking about for over 20 years. I’m unclear on when and how he came to this idea but it was something he was very vocal about explaining in detail to anyone who could endure what he described.

The idea itself was simple.

Lance would have all of his teeth completely cast in solid GOLD and then have all of his teeth removed and replaced with brand new SOLID GOLD TEETH. He would then create a living will like document in which he would sell his GOLD TOOTH SKULL proprietary to art titan DAMIEN HURST for $1,000,000. This was to be his most ambitious work as it would require actual physical suffering, anxiety, trauma, planning and a very long and painful healing process once the teeth had been successfully implanted into his skull.

Many people who I’ve met have shared that they too knew of the skull project and that it was a THING that really separated the BELIEVERS from the NAYSAYERS. Just the reaction that would generated from explaining his idea has a pretty visceral reaction from most people. I don’t think that the IF IT’S NOT BROKE, DON’T FIX IT mind that many of us adhere to on a really basic level would never, EVER include modifying one’s TEETH to create a piece of art that would rip a hole in time and space by the pure intent of effort expended in doing so.

At the point in the yarn when I explain that he did actually find the financial backer to support his vision and allow him to TRANSFORM into the piece of LIVING ART that he reached at with a full heart from his first breath to his last. Most people do not believe that this is a thing that actually happened and that his face is one the cover of a magazine, stretched into a contorted, clinical grimace to proclaim without any uncertainty that he had indeed executed the most brutal show of devotion to one’s own artistic vision and mission.

The last time I saw Lance alive, I picked him up on Hester street in Chinatown in WOOF, MCODY’s HONDA CIVIC. We had worked very hard over the course of several weeks on a series of drawings and videos that accompanied them as they were produced. All of the work was created and bounced back and forth between us, while I was on holiday with my kids. It’s ironic as the very first piece I made for him was made entirely in the passenger seat of a rental car driving to MONTAUK.

After I returned from holiday we met up and I drove him to pick up a rental car from JFK, so he could go to the HAMPTONS for a two week artist residency. He has completed replacing 60% of his teeth at that point in August of 2019. He had intended to return to paint his first billboard in many years and paint an actual image on the board instead of invocational words. But he fell from the ladder many stories when his hand slipped out of a glove.

He explained how the ritual of getting up on the board works. I will not explain this. But will say that he had a process and something must have been a miss when he approached this particular billboard. There’s so many variables and we all are careening through time and space in utter oblivion of the chaos that swirls around us. Just no the other side of every choice. He fell what he said was over 50 feet. There’s no way of knowing and he lived after shattering his pelvis from the fall.

He had only been out of the hospital a few weeks when I picked him up in CHINATOWN.

I jumped out of the car and helped him down the stairs trying to shoulder as much of his weight as I could. He seemed pretty solid but also was obviously in a ton of extreme pain from his shattered pelvis (which CANNOT be cast) and his mouth full of throbbing gums with shiny GOLD TEETH gleaming out. We made our way to the car and I helped him in. Right away he told me to drive chill because he knew that I was an agro person. So we drove the 90 or so minutes through traffic chatting and planning his pop up with CHAMPION that was launching that fall. He had been waiting on this capsule partnership for a while to give him some much needed footing and passive income.

We intentionally tried to keep it light though as MCODY was in the car with us and we were both like little kids, so happy to see each other and high five on all the hard work we put in on the 100 SKETCH project we busted out a couple weeks before. I think about that day a lot and what he said. We spoke on the phone a few more times but it would just happen in 2021 when I saw it pop up on INSTAGRAM..

I knew he finished and had let him know I was proud of him. He was always cycling in and out of circles of people and would also go into super hiding and just make for marathon periods.

At his wake I heard some kids mumble something about the skull and tried to put it out of my mind. I didn’t want to speak at all because I was really thankful to have worked with him and I didn’t need any of these people to know who I was or what we did together. I introduced myself to BAILEY, the guy he did some video stuff with after me. He was really cool and it felt super healing to have a couple minutes with him.

I spoke with ANNA, his widow at the wake and was able to give ROMAN his son a hug. It meant alot to her that I came. I was glad and did my best to show her eyes how sorry I was so she could keep doing her best. I really respect her so much and have always tried to be a positive force.

I was too broken inside to be present with my brother who was at the wake who introduced us. I knew what would happen and how horrible I would fall apart, so I just shuffled off. It was something that I feel really ashamed of because I could see him just feet away from me in such pain as I spoke with her. I didn’t have it in me be present for him. In a strange way, I know that he and Lance would have completely understood how much it hurt and why it would have made it worse for us both. We left and had some of the best drinks of my life at the NANCY WHISKEY on LISPENARD and AVE OF THE AMERICA’s, up the street from the CANADA gallery where the wake happened. It was a brutally cold and crisp winter day. Perfect weather to cuddle in the pub with GUINNESS and POWERS neat over several hours of reflection and laughter with MCODY. It was the place

I would have had a wake for my DAD if that had been possible.

We drank to Lance and his life. To the art that he gave to us and his character that would always leave a lasting tree with roots growing from the base of our souls. We felt the warm embrace of the weathered wooden shanty that sat atop the kitchen in a precarious treehouse of booze, nestled on top of the train in TRIBECA.

What is the value of art?

What is the value of life?

What is the cost of possession?

Lance did not ask these questions.

He replaced the teeth in his head with GOLD TEETH. It’s unknown if he sold his skull.

It doesn’t matter to me. I miss my friend desperately and live in a shadow that his greatness commands from me. Because he looked me in the eye and told me that I was a great artist. That this life would command huge sacrifice and demand everything that we have to give. But our children must see us live as men who do not follow the lamb to the blade but charge off into the heather to live free. ART is WAR. It is not something that is simple, easy or a straight line. Many humans I know learn to master their own hearts at a young age and follow a very prosperous path into a glorious kingdom of their own making. Others succumb to the forces of context that summon the demons who take them back to the other side. We always try our best to never quit on them ever but know that every day and breath we have with them is precious.

That is not the path for people like myself and Lance. We are born into a context and survive the many trials and choices we are presented with. The approach is zealous and driven by something utterly SUBLIME. The quest to create and actually TRANSFORM ourselves is paramount to the degree and magnitude to which the work is capable. At its core, the work has to confront the DOGMA that we see and present a force opposing it. This doesn’t need to be violent, destructive or scary. But sadly, the process for people like us to move our human frames through the fabric of time and space with all the collateral synchronicities elapsing and collapsing upon each other.

If we are to live in the form that we choose, we live and become the art we define.

KNOW GODS JUST WORK

The price of the GOLD SKULL is a debt that is never ever paid. The people who love him the most will always keep paying for this piece of work, because we cared for him so much and wanted him to live so badly.

It doesn't matter at all where that physical object is. What would it matter if a person possessed it?

What function does it really provide to a person that allows them to accomplish or achieve anything? The art world is built upon a foundation of value that is purely intrinsic.

To the person who could or would possess the GOLD SKULL of RAMBO, would the $1,000,000 or 1,000,000,000 really be any kind of currency in relation to what the GOLD SKULL is?

All the wealth in the world cannot possess the GOLD SKULL because the force that created it appeared for a time in a human form and then returned to the universe transformed into another.

The pain that grows and changes into the art we allow it to become is the GOLD SKULL.

THE BONES OF THE MASTER ARE NOT FOR SALE

1.19.24

*********

ARCHIVAL RELEVANCE

(Roller skater with large works)

https://www.tumblr.com/trascapades/654086318632091648/artisaweapon-newexhibit-lance-de-los-reyes

VICE

https://www.vice.com/en/article/4w7ppb/the-cryptic-billboard-messages-all-over-nyc-explained-1101