#just. not right now
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when you have to watch your lover bleed out whilst your memory is quickly dissipating because the world is Currently Ending then you wake up and it’s the weird llama guy who makes too many jokes about handcuffs, you’re allowed to swear a lot
#this is part of a fic i’ve never actually talked about but uh. I love it lmfao#don’t mind the fact i’m on the notes app#I can’t type well on computers#also it’s 3am so#anyway I Will elaborate if given the chance#just. not right now#because it is 3am#I go back to school tomorrow!#not looking forward to that!#hoax rambles#flower husbands#<-because that is the main focus#because i’m predictable#now i’ve said that have I ever actually. posted any flower husbands fics?#I have so many wips about them because I am Insane over them#hoax writes#blood mention#injury mention
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writing advice for characters with a missing eye: dear God does losing an eyes function fuck up your neck. Ever since mine crapped out I've been slowly and unconsciously shifting towards holding my head at an angle to put the good eye closer to the center. and human necks. are not meant to accommodate that sorta thing.
#like it started with me just holding things more towards my right#but the things started shifting more towards center and my head turns instead#like. when im driving especially i have to keep my head turned so i can see on coming traffic#and when im around people ive noticed i position myself so my body is facing them and then turn my head to get them actually#centered in my now very right biased field of view#so anyways draw blorbo bleebus cheated to that 3/4s angle without guilt#at least one one eyed fucker actually does that
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bad youtube clickbait thumbnail that reads "I think I just had a therapy session with a DEMON???"
#gravity falls#gf nevermind all that#the book of bill#bill cipher#dipper pines#theres a tag now so im not gonna link all the context in the post anymore#i have no confidence this one is even funny i just wanted to draw them#we talk about this all the time but its endlessly funny that stump made a billford au and both of us have been like.#so mabel and dipper right? how are mabel and dipper how are they handling the situations. just fine it seems
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girl why the hell WEREN'T you at the devil's sacrament 👀 that's three sacraments in a row you've missed 👀 👀 👀
#girl i thought we were doing group costumes#do u have any idea what an ass i looked showing up as just the BOTTOM HALF of our lord baphomet???#not even a full ass just a half ass with cloven hooves#that was me. last nite. at the devil's sacrament. like u even care#you abandoned me in my time of need you peccant malodorous HUSSY#just fyi the bake sale committee is pissed af atchu right now
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The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
#it's bad if you want i have sex it's also bad if you DON'T want to have sex#god forbid if you're a woman in a heterosexual marriage and aren't in the mood#that's 'withholding sex' and you're clearly abusive scum who should be divorced and left without any of your shared assets.#but if you DO have sex now you're a degenerate freak plotting for the downfall of western society#i don't know what to say i'm just so tired#politics#culture#queerphobia#lgbtqia#misogyny#<it's not the exclusive source but let's be honest sooo much of this is integral to the patriarchy#patriarchy needs access to an underclass they can treat like sex objects but they also don't want them to have any human rights#so sexuality is both obligatory and stigmatized#purity culture#i'm really struggling with tagging this because most of the appropiate tags would- in a beautiful twist of irony- get me booted off tumblr
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well 🧍♀️ as a reminder this blog is NOT a safe space for trump supporters but it IS a safe place for women, queers, trans ppl, people of color, undocumented people, and any marginalized group.
#if youre feeling upset or disillusioned i am right there with you#but now more than ever#i want to remind you of the importance of community#check in on your friends#advocate for your friends#protect your friends#protect your community and who you love and care about#and we will get through this#my dms and inbox are always open#even if you just want to vent#im also so sad right now but we have to be strong and stick together right now#(also if youre not american pls understand this affects us all and to not invalidate the feelings of americans)
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asking people to be mindful of others when sharing a communal space (especially one you cannot just up and leave from) is not selfish or misanthropic. come on now
#like we are human beings who have to coexist. i don’t think it should be so much to ask for some courtesy#but some of you guys act like being asked to be civil to the people around you is like being asked to sever a body part#idk it’s just a respect thing. i’m not being very coherent right now but we have to act like we can share communal spaces!#abandon ethical egoism please 🙏
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hate when you find a character whose so infuriatingly Your Type that its embarrassing like yeahg no one is gonna be surprised when i announce this is my new Guy Of The Month
#shush jesse#EDIT from future me: this post was about astarion but im fully a galegirl (gendy neutch) now so idk what that says#he's also my type for what its worth#this post abt astarion#hes just so painfully on brand for me#i know so little about him though is the thing but i still feel insane#but i cant play the game and i dont want to watch anyone play it and i dont want spoilers#so like.....secondhand blorbo right now
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i feel like people are skimming over the uk riots in a way that makes me want to tear my hair out. muslims in the uk are in active danger. immigrants in the uk are in active danger. refugees in the uk are in active danger. people of colour in the uk are in active danger. asian communities in the uk are in active danger. black communities in the uk are in active danger.
there are massive far right riots throughout the country right now and people like fucking elon musk and nigel farage are inciting it and still have a platform to speak. people have used three young girls deaths, people's genuine grief in southport, to try and gain traction for their own racist bullshit and it's working.
a lot of refugee charities have been forced to close leaving many people without support, homes, funding, food, etc. if you aren't able to donate please consider sending a message via the conversation over borders campaign! it will send a hopeful, welcoming letter to a refugee in the uk. there is also a guide to staying safe here.
please do your own research and donate to refugee charities, anti-islamophobia charities, mosques who are trying to rebuild after being destroyed, counter protesters, here are some i've heard positive things about but the list is extensive; southport strong together (support for the southport victims and their families), southport mosque rebuilding, riot repair fund, middlesbrough vulnerable residents, nasir mosque rebuilding, hull help for refugees, bristol welcomes migrants,
#i know there's so much going on but if you can take a second to support these groups !!#i just feel kinda sick#i wanted to add with so many people seeing this that i'm white im british and im extremely privileged to not be in active danger right now#i don't want to take away from people speaking out about this who are in a place of danger#this was really only meant to be for my followers#but i'm glad more people get to see what's happening and donate !!!
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Y’all want Taylor Swift to be gay so bad but you won’t even write femslash about her
#I was curious so I looked it up 1038 fics on ao3 tagged Taylor Swift and f/f#like I’m not necessarily encouraging people to go out and write rpf#but it’s wild that arguably the biggest musical artist right now who has a huge community speculating about her sexuality has so little fic#like this isn’t a good or bad thing I just think it’s interesting#idk I’m not actually a swiftie like that#like I listen to her music and keep up generally with what she’s doing but I’m not really in the fandom#so there might be something I’m missing
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alternatives for ai to design ocs
hero forge
picrew
the fucking sims 4
your local furry artist
bitmoji
shitty photoshoped collage
DeviantArt bases
zepeto
making edits of your favorite character
searching "dress up game" on the app store
learning how to draw
#anti ai#“but im an uwu soft bean and i don't know how to draw”#then learn?#you know you can create right you are capable of more than just “consuming”#im not saying you need to train to be the best artist in the world or that you need to pursue a future in the art industry#you don't need to be perfect you just need to try#that feeling of needing things done right now only works to alienate you from the labor behind the things you love
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i know there is no light in view, but i still prepare myself to rationalize how it will be worth it once i finally reach it. there was a reason i took this tunnel, the light will be so bright at the end, trust me, i know it has to be true, or why would i have taken a tunnel. this isnt even a poem, is it? its barely even prose. i wish it was, i wish there was beauty in suffering. tragedy lets me fantasize that there is meaning in this pain, that im not just going to be done with this slightly less alive than when i started and i will have no undo button.
what can come of this? comraderie maybe? do you think i will appreciate life more when i get out of this slump? will i learn my lesson and avoid it from here on out? if any of that were true there wouldn't be any suffering in suffering.
no one is looking out for me. i can't convince myself there is no matter how many sermons i sit through and hymns i sing and verses i read. i know ill believe it again. but the only belief i can muster as of now would require i don't see my current self as a part of me. maybe it would be nice, to dismiss this as one bad dream. but it would condemn me as a creature of darkness only. it would be comforting to believe, to absolve me of my sloth in giving up, but alas i know i can't give up. my life is bigger than me and i will drag it along with me.
i have this post, i guess. is this the light im looking for? a tumblr post that no one will read except for myself in a couple months when im brainstorming song lyrics? will the song be worth it? will i ever make something good enough for this to be worth it?
i just dont. want to feel anything right now. i just want the rest of the world to wait. i dont want to tarnish the things i have a vague sense i'll care about later. can i please figure out a nicer way of asking you to leave me alone after you leave me alone. ill be normal eventually. it always passes just as meaninglessly as it came.
im sorry october. i won't get to see you again.
oh. tomorrow's the anniversery of the worst day of my life. yeah. that tracks.
8. its been 8. im sorry. i'll try again next year. i wish i remembered your birthday instead.
#ok so i swear they made 2048 easier. i just played it again after quite a number of years and got to 8146 my first try.#thats not how that goes#its supposed to be a Feat#do the old gods mean nothing to you?#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#i Will be fine. like. later.#just. not right now#i remember learning in ap psych that except for in cases of depressive disroders (which isn't me) therapy doesn't reduce instances#of depression only shorten their length#which is#dissapointing#idk what i would even say to a therapist rn.#just like 'hi wanna read my evil diary i keep on my followerless tumblr'#im sooooo unmotivated i want to lay down and have absolutely zero thoughts#i wish people didnt see me as a person#bc then i could tell them things and they wouldnt actually have to be sad#im really alright with not being one . i already dont recognize my own personhood#yknow. rambling tags are meant for commentary you dont want to be rebloggable. this post May As Well not be though#everyone here is theoretical#i suppose you're therefore divine huh?#yeah ok#ill go finish my homework i fucking guess
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Me when I remember something I said ages ago that was wrong or my values no longer align with
#my path of self improvement has been less self righteous and personally gainful#and more just. a lot of embarrassment and pain#like i wouldnt change the path i took to get where i am now but i wouldve chosen to travel that path sooner because omg#nothing hits me like the fear that future me will feel the same way about right now me that right now me feels about past tense me
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maybe never forgive. but things are different now. so we'll use maybe.
#my version of a happy ending au#mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing anya#anya#curly#my art#considering this game takes place in a hellscape#i imagine one of the other horrifying angles for anya was that she might not even have the rights to abort the wound#so i like to think. curly. thinking he's going to die anyway. just takes all of the medical bills from his crew#because if he lives then he'll spend his life paying it all off#and if he dies. then he takes the burden with him#but him and anya are horrible horrible parallels now. and they cant NOT care about each other#he'll turn himself into the horse. he'll be the beast of burden. anything he said. anything#and for once he actually means it.
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here's list of Palestinians who have reached out to me, please donate if you can
posted august 23rd 2024
@ahmed-mohammed1 vetted here €4,935/€30,000
@hadeelmekki vetted here €15,295/€35,000
@mohiy-gaza vetted here $17,546/$31,000
@yazanfamilly vetted here €10,695/€50,000
@olagaza vetted here (line 205) $29,723/$50,000
@ahmedalnabeeh11 vetted here €23,008/€30,000
@save-mohamed-family vetted here (line 192) $9,946/$50,000
@wafaaresh6 vetted here €28,300/€100,000
@atalah-mohammed vetted here €12,735/€82,000
@abdullahgaza vetted here (line 81) €81,851/€120,000
@save-ahmed-family1 €1,023/€20,000
@asmaayyad vetted here €11,646/€45,000
@bisanalbalawi18 vetted here €37,551/€50,000
@ezzaldeens-blog €297/€20,000
@yousefjehad3 vetted here (line 255) $3,487/$15,000
@hanaa-yousef vetted here (line 246) £11,071/£20,000
@noor-alanqar vetted here €20,427/€40,000
@mahmoud-1995 vetted here $11,709/$50,000
@sabahfamily £7,570/£50,000
@fatma--gaza vetted here €5,530/€20,000
@nisreensuhail vetted here €1,984/€50,000
@sameer-family vetted here $2,259/$50,000
@abdelmutei €10,718/€25,000
@safaabed8 vetted here €28,261/€90,000
@kareem-family vetted here €7,252/€20,000
@ahmedhelllis vetted here €10,473/€80,000
@asmaamajed2 vetted here $3,570/$50,000
@shimaajoj2 €3,302/€50,000
@nourfamily1989 vetted here $14,240/$90,000
#this took me a few days to go through just because my inbox is. fucking horrible right now#not all of them have been officially vetted but im gonna be so real id rather a scammer get a few dollars than know someone is suffering#because they havent been able to be vetted#free palestine
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that moment when you cross the point of no return with a character should be accompanied by a specific chime i think. like 🔔 congratulations! this one has been installed in the Permanent Collection and you will never stop thinking about them as long as you live
#that just happened to me in real time btw#they should maybe also consider a warning tone#unfollow that tag and log off right now or that's it for you. no going back. you're gonna name a pet after this one someday#i headcanon'd too close to the sun#containment breach
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