#just. just tell me the rule. tell me why it's like this. no don't say 'you don't need to worry about it' PLEASE im drowning

[sirfrogsworth]

Clinging to sanity

Summary of this post...

My brain is broken. My A/C is broken. My phone is broken. My computer is broken. My support system is broken. My financial stability is broken. My family is broken.

And the big finale...

Please give Froggie a Yelp review to repair his relationship with his estranged uncles.

Seriously, I need a whole bunch of you to say nice things about me in a convoluted plan to get back the money my brother stole from my dying father.

If you don't feel like reading all of my broken stuff and just want to read about giving me a good review as a person, you can skip to the bullet point list at the end.

Alright, here we go...

I sometimes get in these states where I feel like my sanity is compromised. My mental defenses are minimal and I lose the filter on my brain that tells me "this is a good idea" or "this is a bad idea."

This causes me to say embarrassing things. I overshare with strangers. I keep myself from falling asleep because I have some amazing idea. But when I wake up in the morning I can't believe I lost all of that sleep for such a ridiculous idea. I write weird posts that no one likes. Or I post about controversial subjects like A.I. and trans people and RFK Jr. that I *know* will result in contentious feedback.

And my insane brain says, "You can handle it! Besides, you are so factually correct about this, no one will dare question your meticulous research. IT'S ALL GOOD! SEND IT, YOLO!"

I have a rule. If I am not emotionally or mentally prepared to defend my point of view on a controversial subject, I should wait until I am ready to publish.

Insane Froggie Brain ignores this rule.

After I "send it" and the negative feedback starts to flow in (even though I was assured by my brain it wouldn't), I become afraid to look at messages and replies and reblogs. And a lot of times I need that sense of community. I need to talk to my cool little community so I don't feel lonely. But Insane Froggie Brain cuts me off from that. I give myself all of this anxiety that could have been avoided by just posting another time.

And because I have no emotional defenses, that anxiety is amplified. Mean comments hurt much more. I obsess over them and my OCD causes thought feedback loops where I cannot get something out of my brain. I once couldn't sleep for a weekend because someone said I was wrong about how light reflects off the moon. They were right and I was also right but they said I was "misleading." And that just lived in my brain for days. I kept trying to think of new ways to better explain my point of view. I used up energy I didn't really have to take pictures of a baseball in a dark closet.

It was silly. It didn't matter. It was just a small disagreement. But OCD doesn't do small. OCD makes everything BIG.

What I'm trying to say is...

People need their emotional defenses.

People need their filters.

It's weird because I still have full access to my logical brain. So sane thoughts get all mixed in with the less sane ones. Sometimes I am self aware and can shut down the less sane ideas. Other times I am oblivious. And I *hate* losing control of my brain in any way. It's one of the reasons I've never touched alcohol. Which is why I get very disturbed when this happens.

I remember one time I was positive I was going to move to Florida and start a pet photography business. I had an entire business plan worked out where I trained people how to take the photos so the business could run itself if I got sick. I made an entire PowerPoint presentation to show Katrina so she would be my business partner. I was looking up rent prices for office space. I was making equipment lists for camera gear. She was going on a trip so she told me I could talk to her about it when she returned. And I am so lucky she wasn't available at the time.

Maybe if I had a normal person's energy, I could make something like that work. But once I returned to sanity, I realized it was orders of magnitude more complicated than anything I was actually capable of doing. I am still planning to do pet photography, but I have to come up with a more reasonable plan that does not involve Insane Froggie Brain.

I think it is just my ambitious mind trying to escape. Chronic illness is often heartbreaking because you have to temper all of your ambitions. And it is especially devastating when you are a very ambitious person, as I am.

I want to have all of these big ideas. But I have to filter them through reality. And when that filter is broken, I just unleash big ideas on all my friends. I once even held an official video chat meeting and we took notes and made plans. And I feel so guilty I wasted 4 people's time like that. None of those ideas happened. They had no chance of happening with my energy levels. But my friends and collaborators still did the meeting and nodded along like everything was fine. I appreciate them humoring me.

I also overshare. I overshare normally, but when I get like this I OVER SHARE. You are probably going to witness it in this very post. But I tell everyone everything about what is going on. I tell strangers. I tell a dog walking by.

"Hey doggie, my testosterone is returning and I'm struggling with having a libido again. I know most people would not complain, but it is very disruptive to my day! I have other things I want to do!"

Right now I am just not confident in anything I think or do. I wrote a post about social constructs yesterday. That literally took me all day to write. I was endlessly tweaking it and I thought it was going to be viral and helpful and win the trans debate for everyone.

It currently has 49 notes.

I'm afraid I did not fix trans rights.

Sorry about that.

And my rant about Christopher Nolan using IMAX is doing pretty well. I nerded out about film grain for like 2 paragraphs and it is getting way more notes than a philosophical perspective on constructs.

I just have no idea what people are going to like and I used to be pretty good at judging that. It's like I'm throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks but instead of a wall I'm throwing it into the void. The spaghetti just disappears into infinite darkness.

I'm clearly still recovering from the big house clean with Katrina. And I am more tired than normal. But I am also very stressed about losing the house. I'm trying to figure it out, but I may only have until the end of June before I have to make some scary decisions.

And also, my air conditioner is not working. It has a leaky evaporator. Last year, I had it recharged and that lasted the entire summer. If the leak is leaking at the same rate, I could just do that again. It would be expensive, but replacing the evaporator is so costly, I'd be better off getting a heat pump installed. I'm a good candidate, it could save me money in the long run, but I am nowhere near in a position to make that happen.

Also, my phone is falling apart.

Literally. The only thing keeping it together is the phone case.

And this laptop, which I love, was not meant to be my main computer. I bought it when my dad was sick and I needed something upstairs to manage his prescriptions and bills and appointments. It wasn't meant to be an image editing machine. And, to their credit, Apple has made a crazy powerful little computer. I admit it, I love an Apple product. It can handle way more than expected. But my photo restorations can sometimes end up with 5 gigabyte files. I can't even save them as PSDs. I have to use this weird "PSB" format. It stands for "Photoshop Big." When I fill up the RAM, my computer uses the main SSD. And when I fill that up, I think I can hear the laptop crying and saying, "I wasn't meant for this! Please use fewer layers!"

But I need to finish restoring these photos because I have delayed their completion by about 5 months (got sick before I could finish). And also because I need to pay for the A/C recharge.

You might be thinking, "Didn't you fundraise to get the big fancy powerful computer of your dreams a few years ago? Why don't you use that?"

My big fancy computer has been broken almost since I got it.

It was right before my mom got really sick and there is a major hardware problem. I worked with tech support for over a month and we could not figure out what the issue was. The computer is mostly unusable. Like, "can't even web browse" unusable.

It honestly has caused me so much depression. Like deep, deep, crying-myself-to-sleep-for-weeks depression. I still cry about it. I know it is just a thing, but I am genuinely heartbroken about it.

Why haven't I fixed it? I'm a good computer fixer, right?

Once I had to take care of my parents, I just did not have any extra energy to deal with it. After a month of back-and-forth emails from the manufacturer, I finally told them, "I'm sorry, my parents are sick. I will email you when I have the energy to revisit this."

If you know my story and how I took care of my parents all alone because I have a neglectful brother, then you can probably guess that energy never came.

I am good at tech support. I have been an expert in computers since I was a teenager. I have taken apart and built computers more times than I can count. I have never had a problem this frustrating before. It works fine for a few hours, and then it just progressively slows down to being unusable. I narrowed the issue to either the SSD, the CPU, or the motherboard. All things that are not easy to replace. (The SSD is behind the damn GPU.)

In the 30s, the Royal Air Force used to have issues with their planes that baffled them. This is where the term "gremlin" came from. No matter what they did, no matter how many parts they replaced, they could not get the "gremlin" out of the plane. These were professional mechanics who just could not fix something and it drove them nuts.

I have a computer gremlin. I've never experienced anything like it in all of my years of fixing computers. I was working with professional tech support people. I was on reddit forums. And the only thing left to do was start swapping out parts. I'd work on it maybe an hour each day with whatever energy I had and it eventually was too much. I just could not deal with it. They told me to send it back, but I could not take care of my parents without any access to a computer. So I just rebooted it every time I used it.

At that point, my parents were requiring 24/7 care and I was so overwhelmed that I said, "fuck it" and ordered this laptop. I figured I'd fix the computer when I had time or energy. But that time and energy never came. And I certainly didn't have the energy to haul a 60 pound computer upstairs, box it up, and then take it to UPS. So I just kept putting it off and putting it off.

And I let the warranty expire.

When I realized I did that, I cried myself to sleep for another few weeks. This material object has caused me legitimate emotional trauma.

Any part replacements are now on me. And there isn't really any way of knowing which part is faulty. I figured I'd buy a cheap SSD and start there.

I feel so fucking guilty because people donated money for me to have that machine. I feel like I let them all down by not getting it fixed. When I finish my recovery, I'm hoping I can sort it out. But that could be many months from now.

Recovery has been such a dark, lonely place. Trying to restore my health a millimeter at a time is a grueling marathon of misery. I have been struggling to keep Insane Froggie Brain at bay this entire time.

I felt like I was stuck in a hole.

And like a superhero with the power of friendship and puns, Katrina pulled me out of the giant hole I was in. My house turned into a biohazard. She flew from Florida to essentially clean and organize everything. How do you even begin to thank someone for that?

But also, she shouldn't have had to do that. I have a perfectly functional brother. But he hasn't spoken to me for nearly a year now.

I have other family in town. But I missed so many family gatherings over the years, they don't really know me. None of them have called. I'd have to rebuild those relationships if I want them to be a part of my life again.

And I haven't talked about this yet because it has been too painful.

But... my support system fell apart.

My aunt had to move away to take care of her father-in-law. A year before my mom passed she took care of my grandma as her end-of-life caregiver. And people should only have to do that once. But she has to do it again, and unfortunately, we haven't been able to speak much.

We were very good at keeping in touch in real life. But she is of an older generation and has trouble maintaining relationships on a smartphone. I mean, I get it. Some people are just better at meatspace than cyberspace. That was actually one of the things I liked about our bond. Almost all of my friendships are online. Having someone who liked to visit me and talk to me in person was special.

But, for the time being, I lost that. And it feels a bit like temporarily losing another parent.

I am struggling to even start writing the words for this next part.

I had two best friends. Katrina and I are great. Our friendship is probably better than it has ever been.

But my other best friend of nearly 15 years ghosted me without explanation.

I haven't talked about it because it has been too hard. Any time I try to think about it I get upset. My eyes are filling up with tears as I type this.

I have been pretending like it isn't happening.

Which is not working great.

I've been trying to hire a therapist.

They all have months-long waiting lists.

My friend just stopped talking to me and I don't know why.

They went from driving across the country and holding my hand at my dad's funeral to just not being a part of my life.

I'm so scared I said something terrible or did something terrible. I keep going through all of my memories trying to figure out what I could have done. But we had the kind of friendship where we'd talk about that stuff. If I screw up, they would tell me. We'd work it out.

This person who was in my life nearly every week for over a decade is just not there anymore. I keep losing people and I can't make it stop. And I am really worried that I am leaning on Katrina too much. She went from being part of a multifaceted support system to my entire support system. That isn't fair to her.

She has been very understanding. And she knows I am going to rebuild a support system as soon as I am able. But I don't want to overwhelm her and lose her too.

Weaning off this medication and living with no testosterone has been so miserable and she has been the only one helping me through it.

I'm doing so well with my recovery. I think I can be off the meds in 3 months and hopefully my testosterone will be fully back in range. I'm already more productive than I have been in nearly 8 months.

But I have 1 month of financial runway left and I am not going to get well enough before then.

Everything happens all at once. Every single time. And usually terrible things happen in my life at the same time terrible things happen in Katrina's life. She had terrible mold that destroyed her health for months. Thankfully it did not turn her transphobic, but it sure fucked her health for a while. She made all of this progress getting fit and healthy and BAM, the universe says, "You are doing too well, you need a challenge!"

So, what is my plan?

I am a problem solver and I have some doozies to solve.

Right now I am going to appeal to the family patriarchs on my dad's side. On his literal deathbed, my dad asked his brothers to "take care of me" and I am going to attempt to call in that favor.

I am going to ask them to talk to my brother and hopefully mediate a solution regarding the stolen inheritance. I want them to convince my brother to do the right thing and return the money he took from my dad.

Sorry, the money he "legally inherited" due to his wife "reinterpreting my dad's wishes" in the will.

Before you ask, I have no options to fight this in court. A verbal promise is not enough to overturn a written will. And the cost of fighting would be more than the inheritance. Please don't suggest any legal advice. I've talked to good lawyers. And unless I want to sue for emotional distress, there aren't any legal options available.

The best option is to appeal to my brother personally and ask him to keep his promise to my dad.

The only reason I am in this mess is because my brother repeatedly promised to give me the money. He said he didn't want it on multiple occasions. So all of my plans involved the expectation of this money. I was going to fix up the basement apartment and seek a roommate.

But it took over a year to just get it out of probate. A year I could have used to come up with other solutions. But he waited until the last minute and made his lawyer tell me he was screwing me.

I'm sure my brother will argue my dad knew what he was signing. But I know that is impossible. Before my dad passed, we were in the hospital and I saw the will for the first time. I asked him if it reflected his wishes. And I asked him if he meant to include my brother's wife in the will.

His response was, "Are you fucking kidding me???"

Readers, does that sound like a man that knew what was in his will?

Dad was so upset that he was about to have them cut off his leg just so he could live a few more weeks and fix the will.

You have to give my dad credit, he goes pretty hardcore when it comes to protecting his family.

I couldn't let him go through an amputation to protect me from my brother's shenanigans.

But I am pretty screwed now.

That said, my uncles are pretty hardcore too. One is *very* intimidating. So I feel like my uncles talking to my brother might carry some weight.

But I have one problem...

I mean, aside from the myriad problems already described.

How about... I have one additional problem...

My uncles don't like me very much.

They think I am a basement-dwelling loser who is faking his illness and was taking advantage of his parents for two decades.

One uncle even accused me of stealing from my dad.

They are protective of their brother. They loved my dad. Which is a good thing! As long as I can convince them that their assumptions about me are invalid, I think their love for my dad will compel them to help me.

They just don't have the context. They don't know me. They live in far-off lands. And due to some unfortunate timing, one uncle saw me at one of the lowest points of my life. This was maybe 8 years ago? He didn't realize I was thrown into the deep end and very recently took on the role as full-time caregiver for two very sick people.

My awful strategy at the time was "if I don't take care of myself, I'll have more energy to take care of my parents." If you are a caregiver, this is a bad strategy. It seems obvious you have to do some self care to give care to others, but when you are just starting out, that seems impossible.

My uncle showed up unannounced and I wasn't showered, I hadn't brushed my teeth in a week, and my room had a fun layer of trash on the floor. The trash can was overflowing and I literally did not have the spare energy to change the bag.

To make matters worse, my mom's medications and constant pain had broken the filter in her brain that prevents her from saying mean things. She was on this crazy chemo-like infusion that was basically using poison to fight her psoriatic arthritis. Her aggressive, blunt remarks were not her fault. That wasn't who she was. But she could not stop herself from saying hurtful things.

The kindest woman alive was suddenly Don Rickles without the "just kidding" subtext. And my uncle didn't know this and I got into an argument with my mom.

I probably looked like a pampered brat loser who just lies in bed and plays video games all day while arguing with his saint of a mother.

I don't blame him. Without context, that's exactly what it looked like.

So I am writing my uncles a letter.

It is essentially a memoir of the caregiving I gave to my parents. I hope to publish it publicly at some point, but right now it is just a letter to them. If it were a typical hardcover book, it would be about 70 pages long.

I am telling them everything.

If nothing else, I just need them to know my dad's story. I need them to know he was well taken care of. That I did everything humanly possible to make his last year as comfortable as I could. I need them to know he was *never* alone.

Sadly, because they probably think I am an unreliable narrator, I am my own worst witness. So I am asking 3 people in my current support system to write testimony to verify everything in my memoir is accurate. I even have a doctor's note!

It is probably insane to put this much effort into convincing my uncles to like me. But I'm pretty sure Sane Froggie Brain is behind the wheel of this endeavor. Sometimes the craziest, most desperate idea is the only option left.

Basically I am using my writing skills to try and save my Froggie butt.

I don't mean to be braggadocious, but people perusing my prose persistently pontificate that I am proficient at penning pleasing passages.

People say I write good sometimes.

And I think this memoir letter thingie is the best thing I've ever written. So I am hopeful I will deflate these dubious assumptions and tug on my uncles' heartstrings.

But there is something you all can do to help me.

A friend on tumblr is helping me edit this memoir monstrosity. And she gave me her testimonial to add to my 3 witnesses.

"I have been following The Frogman for well over a decade on his website. It was years before I learned his name was Benjamin! We all just call him Froggy. He was (and still is) one of the funniest internet guys out there. He is incredibly skilled at putting together humorous GIFs and photo sets, and his comedic writing is second to none. He regularly goes viral. Along with that, he was open and vulnerable about the toll CFS takes on him. I can attest to many folks over the years telling him that he has helped them as they dealt with their own health issues. He is so knowledgeable about so much--his posts are famous for being long, detailed, and wildly informative. And most of all, entertaining. They are a joy to read. We also followed along on his heartbreaking journey with his parents. He shared so much of them with us over the years that they felt like people we knew. It was so clear, from his long absences, how much he was doing for them. Our hearts broke when he told us his parents were no longer with us. Froggy has fans, and so did his parents. Otis, too. We love and support him and will always wish him the best."

It made me cry.

But it also felt like getting a Yelp review on... my entire deal.

And it gave me an idea.

What if I had a bunch of these as optional testimony for my uncles?

I'm not going to force them to read what a bunch of internet strangers have to say. But it could be a compelling way to prove my website antics were a serious attempt to build a livelihood for myself. My uncles were successful businessmen and respect a strong work ethic and trying to make your own way.

I was too early for monetization options like Patreon, TikTok, YouTube, and Twitch, but I ran a very successful comedy blog. If I had my 2013 success in the 2020s, I probably would've been able to retire and live off that for the rest of my life. I have several original GIFs that were downloaded tens of millions of times. Google said one of them was searched for over 100,000,000 times.

My blog was silly, but I took it seriously and I had sponsors and merch and an Otis plush.

They think what I did was like when you are at the family Christmas gathering and you ask your weird cousin what he's been up to and he says, "I run a blog about corgis from my parents' basement."

How do I relate the impact I had? They don't know what "Know Your Meme" is. They don't know what being on the front page of Reddit means. They don't know the amazing community I built. They don't know that I created one of the largest and most generous online support systems one could possibly have. I'm still alive and trying to make a life for myself because all of you continue to love and support me.

I was successful and I worked hard despite my disability.

I just had bad timing with the financial aspect of that success.

So, if you want to leave a Yelp review of The Frogman for my uncles, I'd appreciate it.

I came up with a list of things I need to prove to them. I'm just going to copy/paste the entire thing here. I'll strikethrough the ones you all probably can't speak to.

I am not a basement dwelling loser.

My website was more than a silly hobby.

I did not mooch off my parents for 20+ years.

I did not steal from my parents.

I am not the crazed, awkward mess [my uncle] witnessed.

I am disabled.

I cannot get a job.

I am a good person.

I am a likable person.

I was a good son.

I took good care of my parents.

My parents would not have been better off in a nursing home.

My parents would not have been better off moving closer to my brother.

My brother and his wife neglected and emotionally abused Mom & Dad.

My brother and his wife changed the will to benefit them against my mom & dad’s wishes.

My brother promised repeatedly the will was a mistake and I would receive the full amount.

I did not take care of my parents to “retain the house” or get money.

So, if you want to attempt to convince two elderly conservative Catholic men that my cat memes were lit, I would appreciate the help.

If you’ve been part of this community, and you’ve ever felt like I made you laugh, cry, or feel understood, a short 'review' of me as a person could mean the world.

Just remember your audience is...

Uncle #1: A stoic, but brilliant 80 year old who writes text messages like they are business emails. Complete with "Dear Ben" and "Regards, Your Uncle". He is still very sharp-minded and lucid. He thinks success is a high paying job, a house, and a family (my brother). He does not like weakness and consistently thought I should "be an adult and get a job." He is very loyal and respected my dad very much.

Uncle #2: A 60-something retired grandpa who thinks his constant dad jokes are genuinely funny. He is empathetic, but secretly judgmental. He will act like your best friend even if he doesn't care for you. He is an amazing grandpa. Very involved with his kids and their kids. He keeps every video of them getting a goal in sportsball on his phone. He will help you if you think you deserve to be helped. He is very close with Uncle #1.

So... kinda running the gamut there.

You can reblog this post or leave a reply or send a private message or email me at frogman54@gmail.com

I will be anonymizing your names for obvious reasons.

I fear my uncles might not understand why Tumblr user "PokemonAssBlaster69" is saying nice things about me.

Explaining "The Frogman" is hard enough.

Anyway, thank you in advance.

[50shadesofoctarine]

I think this is a very correct analysis of the show, and I have things to add.

Before that:

In defence of the fanon interpretation, fanfiction is not solely a speculative interpretation.

Some fanfiction is—and all the more power to it—but I don't want to conflate the notion that just because a work is inspired by a particular piece of media, it is intended to be a recreation or analysis of that media's storyworld. The purpose of a fan project, first and foremost, is:

Fun.

Yes, fanfiction is a hypothetical framework. Yes, conjectural forms are very good at exploring the inferential substance of a text. But such schemata are used for a different purpose in most fanfiction;

Narratively warranting the author's thinly veiled kinks.

Based on batcat229's analysis of Ao3 tags (collated in 2024), pining is the 37th most popular tag on the platform. Above things like hurt/comfort, one shots, or friendship/love. While I cannot vouch for the methodology behind this claim, let's assume it is true—to some extent—for the sake of argument. Anecdotally, I see no reason to doubt batcat's data.

Regardless, I am just using this to prove that pining tropes are very widely depicted, irrespective of individual fandom sources and subcultures.

Why?

Because it's—say it with me now—fun.

And, more importantly, it's accessible to the lowest common denominator of writers and readers.

The pining trope:

Establishes an immediate plot hook,

Naturally comes with genre conventions and expectations,

Produces high emotional stakes,

And subconsciously compels an empathetic narrative focus.

This is beneficial for authors and readers alike.

(Also, and this is purely subjective bias on my part, it just. fucking. rules.)

GO fanfiction utilises an imperfect character framework to make pining easier to write, justify, and frame.

Let's face it, the canon A/C dynamic is complicated and sensitive. It is written by two very talented authors—whatever your thoughts on N*il G*iman's moral character, he was renowned in literary spaces for a reason. And Terry... Well, he's Terry Pratchett; one of the most brilliant writers to exist in the contemporary era.

A/C is intimidating. The complex emotional interplay (which makes it so resonant) can be inaccessible for many fanfiction authors.

The premise that justifies the pining between Aziraphale and Crowley is—and this the technical term—a bitch to write.

Remember: fanfiction is a hobby, not a job. There are no quality requirements.

... As there shouldn't be!

Fanfiction does not have many barriers to entry. That is a good thing. It also means that fanfiction authors are often inexperienced.

It is completely reasonable to me that a fanfiction author might dumb down canon dynamics to make A/C easier to portray. And, even if it wasn't reasonable to me, it doesn't matter! Because I don't have any authority over how someone else spends their leisure time! (Fyi, I'm not accusing op of telling people how to enjoy their fandom, I'm just making a broader point. Don't read any of this reblog as accusitory; I'm just passionate and will take any opportunity to ramble.)

Why am I only mentioning fanfiction, and not fandom discourse as op is (ostensibly) referencing in their original post? Is this a giant strawman argument I'm positing to be an arsehole? No. Or, at least, I hope not.

Ultimately fandom discourse is affected and prompted by fanfiction. It is a significant sector of the fandom space. I think the distortion of the A/C dynamic is only partially the fault of poor audience interpretation. Most of it, in my opinion, stems from the repetition of a simplified portrayal in fanfiction. It reinforces a subliminal idea.

--

Gosh, this is more than I intended to write. I won't bore you all with more; if you want to hear my additions about the canon dynamic itself, ask me and I'll make a part 2 in a reblog. I don't want to waste your time any more than I already have.

It really bothers me that Aziraphale is described as the one who refuses the relationship, who is held back by his attachment to Heaven or some weird sort of propriety or morality; who is the obstacle and the prize in Crowley's life. If only he got over himself and his angel-ness and admitted how he feels, they would be happy.

It changes the story. I get that changing the story and the characters to suit whatever art we make and consume is the part and parcel of fandoms...BUT, it creeps into all the metas and because it never changes (the roles are never reversed) it changes how people in general view Aziraphale and his character and his actions and they obscure how Aziraphale really is, what he fights for, how incredibly strong and resolute and protective of Crowley and their little world, their side, he is. It changes Crowley too. Makes him into nothing much more but the rebel with golden heart, after the girl of his dreams. Rebel though, like many others in romantic films, that rebels only in words. Doing nothing much of substance. There's more to Crowley than that. He's cleverer than thinking that Aziraphale is too goody-two-shoes to love him back and he needs to patiently wait till his dream girl wakes up, understands him and decides to run away with him.

Crowley wants change too. He hates the current world they are in. He even came up with the Arrangement that he wouldn't have to do all bad deeds himself but that they could share. Yes, he's drawn to creating chaos but he craves peace too. He became demon yes, but he never gave into those base instincts we all fight sometimes. He's still good. He's still righteous. He still thinks it's unfair what happened but he has no real faith in change anymore. He does however, have faith in Aziraphale. He always comes through for him.

[melrosing]

AFFC is where I believe the redemption thing loses a lot of people because Jaime is upholding the regime rather than dismantling it. But I always want to ask them dismantle it how? it's so stupid

okay but that's the thing because in a way: that is what Jaime is trying to do! pushing once again my unfinished Riverlands essay bc I am very interested in this part of his story, especially the role it plays within his redemption arc, but in wider fandom it often gets misinterpreted as a detour.... which has made for some really frustrating takes lmao.

if you will humour me for a second though I want to pose to ppl what the avenues available to Jaime actually are at this point in the story. Jaime is not Sandor Clegane: he cannot just leave everything behind and assume it'll all be fine without him.

the situation in fact: ur evil dad has just died, leaving House Lannister essentially irreconcilable with its enemies. the realm has been devastated by the war. who is in charge of it all? ur eight-year-old son, a sweet kid who could be a good king in the right hands.... but is ofc currently in the hands of Cersei, who is.... well. Stannis, the Riverlords, the vestiges of the Starks, and a bunch of forces you're not even aware of want and your family dead to a man. and you are the lord commander of the kingsguard, who would like to 1) fulfill ur oath to Catelyn, 2) protect your family, 3) not make anything worse than it already is and 4) ideally make things better! what do u fucking do?

OPTION 1: literally just leave this sucks so why not just leave! you are an eminently recognisable man and so is your son but what if you just walked out of there and let whatever forces move in in your wake. Stannis probably gets there first (you don't actually know about Dany or Aegon) and he wants you dead, but maybe if you shave ur head (wait that didn't work last time did it) and dye your son's then....??? ok sure. so now you're living in the woods, the realm may or may not fall back into chaos, ur days are pretty numbered, and this isn't even a good story, is it. cool !

OPTION 2: refuse to have anything to do with a continued war against Starks and Tullys and try and advocate for them at court oh god u really thought that would work. your dad murdered Robb and Cat Stark at a fucking wedding. they do not want to be ur friends, they want u dead. they will arm again in a heartbeat, and that's your family done for. also good luck talking Cersei round on this. or anyone really. edit bc oh and also! if you do just want to sit this one out and refuse to get involved with the siege at Riverrun - some other goon will jump in and end it violently for you. so you've basically done nothing but allow it to happen. good for you!

OPTION 3: mitigate and restore what u can your son is a nice boy who likes books and always does his best. you think that if you could surround him with the right people, he might rule well. you realise Cersei is a liability, and plan to have her removed from your son's counsel. you plan to rebuild it with better people. you realise that the realm is starved and in ruins: you want to prevent war, and you really don't want to break your oath. however, many of the riverlords and northerners are not ready to kneel. you treat with those you can, and wring a peace out of the Tullys by saying the right words in the right voice. your reputation takes a hit and readers cannot understand the chapter for shit, but Edmure Tully accepts terms of peace. you cannot restore the Starks, but you can try and save the last of them: you send your gf on a secret mission, and when she comes to tell you that you have a change to help (lol), you go with her.

THE CATCH: none of these fucking work because your dad fucked everything up so bad that everyone wants your family dead and noone wants to be your friend. even though you ended the siege at Riverrun on peaceful terms, that's only going to last about five minutes. you may be trying to save Sansa Stark right now, but god knows what's about to happen to your own kids while you're not there. you're fucked really. there's no single right thing you can do right now except follow what you believe is the best, most realistic thing to do in the moment and see where it leads. shit. that's how you ended up spending 14 years in the woods with brienne waiting to meet zombie Catelyn while Game of Thrones botches your ending and podcasters call your story the limits of redemption. fuck !

[all-pacas]

the problem i have with the tyrant and the surrounding episodes is just. it's so goddamn unrealistic. i don't know why this, of all things, breaks my suspension of disbelief but like. you're telling me a major world leader dies and there isn't a SINGLE fbi/cia/united nations investigation. the POLICE don't even drop by. not a single news reporter, not even an internal hospital investigation. no lawyers. no lawsuits. no 3 weeks of reporters and the news cycles and wild reddit conspiracy theories. there's no geopolitical consequences, no civil war, no political stakes or accusations that the US government did a hit on dibala 1970s cia style. just "ok, he's dead! everything is fine!" like even IF you somehow want to say chase (who spends weeks acting as suspicious as possible) gets away with it, there wasn't even an investigation? there wasn't even a news article about this? this would be front page news for MONTHS even IF it was ruled an accident. think of the reddit posts ALONE

like. first of all, the second that OTHER assassin came through with a gun, security would have been raised so tight. i mean, first of all, they probably wouldn't even TREAT dibala in a public hospital -- need house to do it? he can go to whatever secure location they are holding the dude in. but especially after the first attempt. dibala dies anyway? obviously, the team are immediately investigated and audited and interrogated by 4 different agencies for days. it's just. it's so silly.

[negrowhat]

Old QL Game

Rules: Think about the oldest BLs you've ever watched. They have to have been released prior to 2020. Now name 5 - 10 iconic scenes that you cannot forget.

Tagged by @ommited-miscellaneously and the OG post is by @brazilian-whalien52

This is going to be fun. I've been in the BL space for a supremely long time. Like I don't want to date myself too much but literal decades so reaching back into the vault is going to be insane. Be prepared for screenshots because I know there are no gifs for most of the scenes I'm going to talk about.

SOTUS S (2017)

Kongpob turning Khaofang down. One of my most favorite things about Kongpob is how straightforward he is when people confess to him. One of his juniors tried to give him her gear and confess her love to him and he immediately told her that he was already taking care of someone's gear. He shut her down gently and kindly and kept it pushing and I just LOVE that scene.

TharnType the Series (2019)

Type asking Tharn to have sex with him. He really just sprung that on Tharn while they were having breakfast. He claimed it was because he didn't want to "owe" Tharn anything but really he was curious. And let's not forget we got the iconic ice scene in that ep.

Takumi-Kun Series 5 (2011)

Takumi tells Gii about his childhood trauma. They had just finished having sex and Takumi finally tells Gii what caused his phobia of people touching him. They sit there in bed and Gii holds Takumi tightly and listens to Takumi tell a horror story involving sexual abuse at the hands of his older brother when he was very, very young. It's a scene that was hard to watch but still very memorable.

I Love You As A Ma AKA Like Love (2014)

An Ziyan tells Mai Ding he loves him. Mai Ding literally runs into An Ziyan's room and asks him if he loves him to which which An Ziyan literally just laughs in his face. Mai Ding storms out of An Ziyan's dorm room and goes back to his which is just next door and angirly lies in his bed. An Ziyan does in fact love Mai Ding and just doesn't want to say it so he sits on his bed too and knocks on the wall they share and the knocks are in the rhythm a person would say 'I Love You' in. It's very sweet and Mai Ding is touched and happy again. If anyone can tell me where I can find that gem of a movie and it's sequel please let me know!

Until We Meet Again (2019)

DeanPharm meet face-to-face in the market. Win and Dean are out shopping for snacks for the swim team where Dean sees Pharm trying to reach for some peas or beans of some sort so he grabs them for him. WHEN THEIR EYES MEET?? And Pharm IMMEDIATELY starts crying!? And Dean caresses his cheek?? They don't know each other but their souls do and it's such a raw reaction and it literally makes me cry every time I see it.

Dark Blue Kiss (2019)

Sun stopping Mork from fighting. Specifically in the noodle shop when they went coffee bean hunting. Some jerk was harassing Mork and Sun and literally threw hot soup on Mork! So when Mork punched him out and almost bashed his head in with a solid wood stool all Sun could do was drag him out of the shop. I think it was a justified fight and Sun should've let the boy bludgeon that dude. One of my fave things from DBK was how Sun was always trying to keep Mork from fighting.

Long Time No See (2017)

Chisoo finds out about Gitae. Loved this part because Gitae really doesn't want to fight Chisoo so Chisoo is giving it all he's got and Gitae is holding back and mostly blocking. Anytime he has an opening to hit Chisoo he doesn't take it. Chisoo somehow rips off Gitae's mask and is stunned to see who he's fighting. Gitae has been a double agent their whole relationship and was hired to kill Chisoo.

ReminderS (2019)

Phun saying he's not worried about Noh cheating. Phun's new friends are asking him why he's not more jealous or worried about Noh hanging out with another man on campus. Phun easily just says that Noh is too stupid to notice anyone's advances and he's not generally worried because of that and because Noh tells him everything. It was such a funny scene. This entire series felt like a fever dream but it brought back PhunNoh to us.

Love Place 1: Hakanaki Kata Omoi (2013)

Doumoto sets Kana up to walk in on him and Souta. Kana is in love with Souta and his boyfriend knows it. Souta and Kana sort of used to date before he came out but she's still in love with him even though they agreed to be friends. Doumoto calls Kana and asks her to go to their apartment to check and see if they left the door unlocked when they stepped out to the store. She's in the middle of strawberry shopping but leaves to do that. Of course they're both still at home and Doumoto makes sure they're right in the middle of sex when she arrives. She is so pissed off that she screams, rips off the blankets, and throws the strawberries at them. A very justified crashout.

2 Moons 2 (2019)

Forth kissing Beam to shut him up. Beam has just accidentally hit Forth in a head with a hammer and they rush him to the hospital. When Forth comes to Beam is there and babbling out his apologies for giving him a concussion and the only way Forth can shut him up is to kiss him. Top tier. A lot of Pavel stans were born from him in 2 Moons 2 so I can't make this list without mentioning my beloved Bi Biker Icon Forth.

I'm tagging @bengiyo @lurkingshan @thisautistic @slonekaru @itsallaboutbl @benkaben @cirphu @babyangelsky @respectthepetty @khaotungthanawat @omarandjohnny @pharawee and whoever else sees this and wants to participate!

[azriona]

Not a Fairy Tale Kiss, Chapter 75

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Avenger!OFC (2nd person POV)

This Chapter word count: 2.9k ~ Total Story count: 160k ~ This is the last chapter; the epilogue will be posted on Friday.

Summary: When you and Bucky are both accidentally hit with sex pollen while on a mission, you're determined to keep your relationship status at friendship, even if you’d like it to be more. Even if you think he feels the same. Even if you accidentally end up pregnant. Even if it kills you.

(Spoiler Alert: it might actually kill you. Good luck with that.)

Trigger warnings include discussion of abortion, failed pregnancies, deaths of both mom & baby--not the MC! Full warnings on AO3. Here is your guaranteed happy ending. Please see AO3 for full A/N and tags.

Chapter Summary: In which there is... a baby. (I did promise.)

“Darlin’,” says Bucky for what must be the thousandth time, “protest all you want. It’s apparently happening.” “Nope. I refuse. Steve. Tell them I refuse!” “What are you refusing?” Steve frowns as he approaches. “What happened? Did you get hurt?” “She’s fine,” says Helen. “She’s just in labor.” Everybody instantly goes quiet. “Lies!” you yell. “I am not in labor, I refuse, this is Breakdown-Picks or whatever—” “Braxton-Hicks, and no it isn’t,” says Helen grimly, adjusting the monitor on your stomach and setting up the IV. “I’m giving you tocolytics, they should slow everything down, if not stop the contractions entirely.” “Why do we even have those in here?” you demand. “No one on the Quinjet is allowed to be pregnant, have you not heard Steve’s grumbling?” “Maggie was hella cranky when she was in labor,” says Scott. You point at him. “Go. Away.”

That kid's gonna be born grounded if it doesn't start listening soon. Find out what happens on AO3.

Don't want to read on AO3? Don't worry, I gotcha. Or I will.

Once I'm done posting NAFTK on AO3, I will start cross-posting the chapters here. (Just the epilogue left.) I'd do it now but trying to track multiple postings will make my head explode. Simultaneous cross-posting of future x Reader and NAFTK stories will be the rule. Let me know if you have questions or concerns; my main goal is to make reading easy, accessible, and not spam the tag. Chapters will use the tag #not a fairy tale kiss verse, or send me an ask/DM and I can tag you when I start!

[sorrybutiforgotmyusername]

YESSS, THIS!!!!!

the is NO good romantic ending for kris (well, thus far. i hope it stays that way). the nicest way for us to control them is to have them be friends with everyone.

the romance feels Wrong, and this is by design.

i think a nice scene encapsulating this is at the end of chapter 2, where susie asks kris who they'd want to take to the festival- giving them the choice between noelle and ralsei. the aforementioned two 'obvious' romantic options.

now, susie didn't mean it in that way, which is very apparent in how she responds. if you pick either "noelle" and "ralsei", susie will respond "What!? Why are you saying it so confused? It's not like I meant anything weird."

or, if you select "..." (stay silent), susie responds "What!? I was just joking!! You don't have to stare at me like a weirdo!"

the most positive response you get is to say "you". if you break the susie-imposed rules of the question. if you have kris choose susie, the person they've been becoming friends with over the course of deltarune, the person they seem to genuinely enjoy the company of. to this, susie replies "H... huh? Way to dodge the question, dumbass!! ... I mean, if I went, obviously you'd be there too. That goes without saying, right?"

both "..." and "susie" read to me as genuine responses from kris. meanwhile, "noelle" and "ralsei" are audibly forced. (i don't think "susie" sounded forced like the other two, because susie doesn't comment on kris sounding confused or awkward. though, that could just be because susie was taken aback by someone wanting to hang out with her)

for my last take on this scene, i think "..." encapsulates kris's feelings on being forced into a pair. susie asks them who they'd take to an event (something that it traditionally seen as romantic), and kris just wordlessly stares at her. defiantly rejects the choice, rejects the assumption, rejects the question framed as "you must pick one and only one".

now, earlier i talked about kris and susie's friendship. and i mean friendship- susie has not been narratively posed as a love interest for kris, not to the same extent as ralsei or noelle.

for a lot of chapter 1, she's kris's bully. she and kris start becoming buddies by the end of chapter 1, and by chapter 2 they definitely seem to enjoy each other's company (it's obvious from susie's pov, but more subtle from kris. but i think a good piece of evidence that this isn't one-sided is how if you make kris tell alphys "Lost sleep from being Susie's partner", they intentionally say it "with no negative intonation at all")

in chapter 2, ralsei has the acid tunnel of love, and noelle has the fucked up romantic undertones of snowgrave ("We're something else"/you buy noelle a ring/spamton's dialogue). although susie is involved with romantic storylines of other characters (noelle and berdly), she's doesn't have any forced romance moments with kris

and yeah, you could read kris's seemingly positive feelings towards susie as them delevloping romantic feelings. but i think it's more interesting not to

finally, they have a friend without romantic baggage. (though a friend with bullying baggage. but that's a topic for another post.) a friend who breaks the rules, who doesn't give a fuck about narrative or societal boundaries in the dark world. finally, someone they can goof off with and not worry about it turning to "something else"

... and what if you see this and go "no, friendship can't be enough." what if in a future chapter, there are options for forced romance between kris and susie.

you give up on giving them the "happy [romantic] ending" with ralsei or noelle, but maybe you can give them a "happy [romantic] ending" with susie

i don't think kris will be very happy about that.

(i did not start writing this reblog intending on making a full analysis on how susie fits into how deltarune's narrative treats kris + romance LOL. but that's how it shaped up!)

there's an inherent discomfort to how deltarune presents its two 'obvious' romantic options and it ends up giving kris this aromantic vibe.

like, for the main route, we have ralsei. ralsei canonically looks so much like asriel that it’s mentioned at least twice. and you, the player, can choose to make kris lean into his affections. how do you think kris feels about this? do you think maybe they’d be uncomfortable with that? with ralsei’s feelings, and being made to reciprocate? at chapter one's conclusion, there were theories that ralsei was asriel. what if this turns out to be true? how will you respond to your hand in it?

or what about noelle in the weird route? you’ve corrupted a friendship for the sake of ‘love’. a 'love' that, much like undertale's, is built upon violence. you get your ring and your angels, the perfect image of a childhood sweetheart marriage. but does kris want to be ‘something else’ with her? even in a reality where there's not a horrible string of abuses tying them together? or do they just want to keep being her friend, playing laughed-off pranks on her?

why do you, as the player, feel drawn to these choices of romance? are you pursuing your own interests, what you find interesting? are you giving kris what you think they’d want? or are you going off a learned impression that love is the final reward, the ultimate treasure, without knowing if it’s what they desire?

undertale has one save slot, so resets are part of the game. you need to reset if you make a choice you don't like, and the world will find a way to respond to it. but deltarune has multiple, allowing for alternate universes. kris won't know if you make them flirt with the person who looks like their brother, or if you give noelle that pointed ring. you could do both, if you wanted, and still have room for one more world, where kris stays friends with everyone and romances no one.

perhaps that'd the one they'd like best.

[washichan]

I have to clarify that I don't like the DMC Netflix show in general so uh please interact with consideration for your well beings. 🙏

[arttsuka]

🫂

Thank you 🫂

Virtual hugs are always appreciated :)

[gingerbreadmonsters]

6k in and my head is about to explode. STILL not allowed to say what i want :(

[light-wrath-paradise]

When I start having a panic attack about visiting my family I know it's time to go to sleep immediately no ifs no buts

[honestlyvan]

The main feature apps like this offer are QOL improvements like different layouts, fonts, reading statistics and timers, and the aforementioned download features that are already a part of Ao3.

And if you want to use an app for those features -- honestly, I don't see why not? But be aware that Ao3 supports user-created skins that can look like literally anything you want (and although you do have to know enough CSS to make a theme yourself, lots of fans out there make AO3 skins just for fun -- you just gotta talk to one of them to ask how to make the changes you'd prefer and most likely they're happy to help out) and there are userscripts that act as site extensions that provide all those features and more (with, again, people actively developing them that you can ask help from to write your own if you don't like any of the ones available)

If you don't want the hassle of finding this stuff out or talking to people to ask for these features, you do you I guess. But don't ever pay money for one of these apps, no matter what it does. If it's showing you adds, if it's asking you to buy it, DO NOT, they're asking you to pay for features other fans have already provided for free through other methods.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

WHO IS USING THIS

AN APP??? THEY HAVE A FUNCTIONING WEBSITE

THE LAST FUNCTIONING WEBSITE

[vaspider]

Listen to me. Listen very carefully:

They are trying to wear you out.

They are trying to wear you out, and they own most major social media now, along with many major media outlets. The disinformation machine is cranking along. You are going to have to slow the fuck down and read things before you help them wear out other people, too.

So you just saw a post about a real scary bill, hunh? Republicans want to make it a capital offense to pet dogs and repeal The Sky Is Blue Act of 1793, declaring the new official color of the sky to be squant? Damn, that sounds scary.

Let's go look up this fictitious "Make The Sky Squant Again Act" on GovTracker* & on the official legislative tracker on congress.gov!

Well, let's see... GovTracker estimates it has a 1% chance of even getting out of committee and a 0% chance of being enacted, while congress.gov says this bill has 2 cosponsors who have been in the House and combined total of less than a month. The bill doesn't have any actual text, and it was referred to 5 different committees.

That fictitious bill and a hundred others like it are quite literally not worth your time, and more than that, continuing to wring your hands about it and tell other people about the scary scary squant sky bill only does their work for them. It scares people, it makes them spend time and energy on it, and it wears them out. It is a legislative Gish Gallop, meant to throw so many things at people that we can't keep up.

Even calling or messaging your Rep in this case means their staffer has to waste time responding to you and letting you know that Representative Buttzonheads definitely won't support making petting dogs a capital offense, a thing that will never, ever happen regardless.

Staying engaged in this environment is going to require protecting your heart and protecting your energy, yes, but also protecting the energy of others. This is why WWII propaganda posters also included ones taking people to task for spreading panicky rumors and undermining morale.

Do you know why most observant Jews don't eat chicken and dairy together, even though the ban is on red meat and dairy together bc you're not supposed to cook the calf in the milk of its mother?** It's not because we think that chicken might secretly lactate or Just Because. It's because the rabbis decided that if I'm sitting out in public and eating turkey and cheese together, someone might glance at the turkey and mistake it for red meat and think, "oh, well, I know that Spider is a good Jew, there must have been a change, or maybe I can just justify it to myself that if Spider does it, it must be permissible to bend the rules just that much." And I would then be accidentally leading my fellow Jew astray. We are responsible for being even more careful for the sake of others than we are for ourselves.

It's the same principle here. We need to really be careful about the information we are spreading and check things past reading a news site. Is it true? Is it relevant? Is it meaningful? Is the news site one I recognize? Can I find meaningful independent corroboration on another site, which is to say, if I find an article about it on a second site, is it just quoting or rephrasing this site?

Yeah, that is a lot. But that's how we keep them from using us to lead our fellows astray.

*GovTracker is an independent site. They explain their methodology in their About section.

**I cannot say enough how I am not at this time interested in going on a Jewish Side Quest About Dietary Laws on this post. Usually, I love it, but hold off this time, please, y'all. Let's stay on target this once.

[guess-who-faux]

I have to be doing something wrong there has to be something I'm not seeing otherwise why is my life like this

[welivefast-dieyoung]

Watching a man light up a cigarette and seeing him shield the flame with his hand is a life altering, spiritual experience actually.

[sheeezu]

What to do if you have not shifted for +++years

(Most of my anons were along the lines of this same issue, I want to make a common post for them. I won't be telling you "you're already there" or "persist" I'm going to have a heart to heart conversation with your mental health in mind, this will be a long post)

First and foremost I have to say, this post is very heavily opinion-based. Alright, I'll divide it into topics, and two categories: before shifting and during shifting.

Before Shifting.

Determining the laws of your reality.

This is where you've got to do most of the work. (Don't worry, it won't be 7 hour subliminal listening sessions) now let's present a very important note: I don't know who you are. But most importantly I don't know what you believe in. Shifting isn't a known set of rules, Shifting doesn't have a single method, it does not have a wikihow page. Everything that exist is because of you. Therefore there are differences in my reality and yours. What you believe in is acting out in reality. LITERALLY.

So first you need to ask yourself some questions, with full honesty, oh and don't apply the thoughts you have by certain reprogramming affirmations, don't force yourself just because you have to persist.

"What am I?" What do you believe you are? Currently, are you a soul, a human? Or you something greater, seek within yourself to answer what you believe.

"What is reality?" How is everything working around you? Why are you here.

"Who is in control?" Who makes you shift. Who or what makes everything happen.

"How to shift?" Self explanatory. If you write with utmost truth on what you think shifting is like and when and how it happens; you'll basically have the code of how reality works for you.

Relax.

After you've gathered your research sheets. Take a breath, since you've got all the answers you need. Now, close your eyes, whenever you like. Imagine a serene atmosphere, for example, sharp sunlight falling on your skin, warming you up, or the rain droplets drowning your senses, as you run across a forest. Tell yourself, "this is what shifting is" , and "I've shifted." That's all it is. You feel some you get some.

Some important realizations,

• Time is not linear.

• Failure is a perception.

• You're not beneath anyone.

• You don't need to prove yourself to anyone.

• you'll survive, you'll be alright.

Don't. Kidnap. Yourself.

The title sounds weird, but it is regarding heavily applying the principle of assuming until you have it, to EVERYTHING. Idc if people come after me. I don't want anyone to suffer by stamping their foreheads with "persist!" Even if it works. I love loa, until it crosses over into toxic positively. Don't just put yourself in a coffin; don't become a prisoner to your thoughts! Don't make it feel like there's an angry witch in your mind, who will scream at you if something goes wrong, the problem is! Something might go wrong and you'd end up highlighting the idea that you are being forced to assume against something. Don't feel forced. Simple. (You can still use loa, if you like)

Declutter your mind.

I said it before. and @ilovecatfr explained this here, there's so much in your mind. I can tell. Each and everyone has their own unique spin on shifting. That's great and they put out advice to help people, similarly you... also have it within you. Afterall, these bloggers, big well written and decorated posts are the projection of your assumptions. I'd like to say, majority of the bloggers are kindhearted with the aim to help others. Although for some, you being desperate in their asks is an ego boost, nothing is wrong with feeling good about yourself for your knowledge, but you the person at the other end of this screen, are not a pawn, not just another anon, alright? you know how to shift, look back at what your answers were to the questions.

Control your emotions towards this reality.

I've always wanted to discuss this. Emotions are the puppeteers of this show. They're a grounding mechanism of any reality. If you feel something deeply, you're angry at circumstances you form an attachment to this reality, it keeps you here. Think about what happens to a person when they get disassociation. Similarly belief + emotional investment = reality. Its a code. I can confidently say anyone who has not shifted (... not targeting anyone, genuinely trying my best to help; ty ty back to the text) is because they're giving too much emotional importance to this reality. This can be in the form of stressing that you have not shifted, being worried that you're not in your dr, putting much focus on the "What ifs" of if you wake back in this reality.

But we can't just go BLANK. we're still humans who feel deeply (for now huehue) so what's the solution to this non-issue? Direct these feelings towards your destination, your intended reality! This would mean feeling like your dr self, if you're experiencing negative emotions you can last second convert them to any scenario related to your dr, emotional investment there pays well, here? It just wastes time.

Don't let feelings get the best of you and keep you here; you're their creator after all.

(Optional) Create a homey dr.

This comes from personal experiences. If I don't mention this I won't be completely open with each one of you. I shifted through intense love and reverence for my home. I knew that each and every second spent in this reality led up to me shifting to my home.

So for ease later on when you can't decide between drs, it'll be comforting to have a reality you can call home and choose over and over again.

Rewire.

This is where you come back to what you answered to the questions. Do you like your response? A human is living in a reality, and your answers are the universal law there. Will they have an easy time with shifting? If you think so, then choose to not do any "rewiring" and act upon the answers you wrote, shifting in accordance to them as they have become the pillars of your reality. If you think the person's reality's laws regarding shifting are complicated, then you can choose to rewire them. This can be a simple manifestation. As it has no basis in the 3D yet, you will manifest it within seconds. You can either write it down, listen to a subliminal, or simply think of the new beliefs in your head (eg "I shift in seconds") and let go. Stop.

(Severely optional) strive for spiritual awakenings

*shrugs* I thought I should mention based on personal experience.

During shifting.

Confuse your logical brain

You don't have to give it validation. Instead, just make it unable to predict the next move of it creator. Its built to look at everything with skepticism.. but it has nothing when you don't give it the chance. For example, the anti method by @hrrtshape is the best example. I like that you can do this, pre-method like a little warm up. (You can also manifest to not think logically)

Know your game

To act like you're in a battle field is not the way to shift. You don't have to give the actual practice of shifting much or any importance. You know how to shift, then why is there a need to have plan B's and checking your own environment? You are the commander in front, you're the one switching the reality, your reality is not the one switching.

Senses shift last

Explained by @stilljuststardust here.

Be blind and deaf to each and everything other than your intended reality

...and be so obsessed with your intended reality. Live out entire days, you're there, no, time is not passing by, the previous reality has disappeared by your hyperfixation on your intended reality. Ever done that exercise where you stare at a dot for so long, everything around it disappears? Well then, EXACTLY. Make it dissapear. Make it dissappear by not giving it any more of your energy. ....how I shifted. This is based upon being your dr self, that's snatches away the spotlight from this current reality.

Keep yourself comfortable

All of you are experienced enough to know, you don't need to lay in the starfish position. But remove the unnecessary thought that if you dare move your finger you might mess up the whole attempt (This is a subconsciousness belief) here's how to not worry about your 3D: again, senses shift last, Your current reality = intended reality.

It is about breaking free from human functions

Your software is set to being an earthly human. This is why acting like your current reality (the noises from the environment, physical annoyances) are from your intended reality, helps. This allows you to trick your human brain and move forward. The more you try to make sense of shifting, the more less it'll make sense. You don't have to know everything about shifting. The point is to be awfully natural about it. Just like how you wake up in this current reality without any requirement. You don't overthink it, then why overthink shifting.

Hope I cleared everything, I spent 5 hours on this post. If anything is not clear, please send in an ask, I am 100% avaliable to answer anything amiss.

Now let's see how much time I take to actually make this post aesthetically pleasing, so people don't have to bleach their eyes or ruin their blogs with this.

Dedicated to @lilyblairkinda who gave me this idea, once.