#just you wait im going to make an awful post about these two once theyre in an actual relationship

[bisexualnamjoonie]

"literally the only one in this band who hasn't disappointed me is Namjoon" wait what did the others besides jk do 😭

(also I agree with the whole post. disappointment doesn't even begin to cover it on my end. I can't believe they'd actually go with this elyrics. wtf were they thinking?)

ah there's two things to it: 1) he's the only one who, when he fucks up, shows that he actually reflects on it and try to do better? 2) when it comes to political opinions he and yoongi have done and said stuff that speak to me the most

but then as a general rule i try (and fail a lot lmao) to remember than first and foremost they are billionaires and will always benefit from a system that is actively cruel toward other ppl and the planet so ive struggled a lot with that (especially how hypocritical their campaigns around ecology are. but anyways). as ive said before im trying to be here only for the music, to not buy into that whole parasocial relationship (even if kpop is built in a way to make you do so), and to tell myself that if their music brings me comfort, then that's what matters.

but yeah when the music sucks then there's no reason for me to stan them is it. cause as human beings I don't have any affinity for them, i don't actually know them, and to some extent it's even worse since because the way they live and actively pursue always getting richer, partnering with brands that are awful in every domain (like, you know, the luxe industry or McDonald's) theyre part of a group of people that benefits the most from how fucked up our capitalist system is.

and then when it comes to the other members, i personnaly didn't think the way yoongi handled the whole debacle with what do you think was the right way to do so but theres no use to bring that back for more drama. also still struggle with the way he was supposed to be critical of social inequalities and anti capitalist but then, you know, became super rich and. well. I've answered plenty of asks about it if you go in my ask tag, I won't dwell on it. hobi im actually kind of neutral about because he's so secretive about what he actually think i wouldn't be able to form an opinion on anything he might think or do. hes just a basic billionaire. jin has more than once in lives said stuff that amounts to "just be rich" and it's simply a capitalist, bourgeois mentality i don't agree with politically.

then when it comes to ml: well there was a rumour that jimin said anti abortions stuff but I've never checked it out so let's say It didn't happen (if it did obviously it would add to the list). then there's the obvious participating in angel lmao, that was just. yeah don't even wanna talk about it. then tae there was the way Jennie's harassment was handled (or not handled actually) by him and hybe that was just fucked up. I don't believe idols should be held responsible for their fans actions, on the contrary I think it's a dangerous road to take, but you can and should tell them to stfu when they're threatening ppls lives lmao. also he is close with very conservative, homophobic ppl and well. i mean there's a huge incel problem atm in SK and most young men his age are just. downright shitty ppl. so the fact that.hes friend with that kind of ppl doesn't reflect well on him. and then well jk. 🤷

anyways! this serves as another lesson lesson to not expect anything ever from celebrities!

[relaxxattack]

me: *is about to go to sleep* *sees the ran and jackie classpect post* *rises from my bed and looks at the notes i have* well if i must <3 (warning this is long as hell im sorry KXNSKBS i spent. two hours on this. it is 2am in my timezone now)

jackie is a breath player through and fucking through. a focus on self satisfaction, finding a quest and going after it, being so focused on the positive that he can see a negative thing happen and go "oh well, thats unfortunate. anyways," (think how he hears that ran probably died and just went "aw i liked him" then just sort of. keeps going anyways. picks one thing to really dedicate himself to it and sticks to it, shows negative reactions when they happen but doesnt dwell on them (whether out of discomfort or something else). basically, jackie is all of tubbos breath influence without any of the space influence. accidentally winning just because he really was just that damn dedicated

classwise, jackie is.. a bit difficult to get a handle on, if only because hes very breath like, but at the same time while he seems unconcerned with the idea of losing ran, he still very much so *wants* ran. its that want of a connection, of even just one person to keep around, that takes away the possibility of jackie being a class that would make him detach himself from others at will. hes not a class that would make him desperate for someone to help him take a certain direction, really he seems to want to take others in the same direction he already chose. he also accepts being tethered to one place/thing, he just wants to have freedom w how he goes about it, and it seems like its been this way for a while. ssoooo i want to say witch of breath. manipulating breath or through breath. strong personalities, friendly but terrifying and a force to be reckoned with, knowing what they want and, if healthy, how to get it. often pulling others along for the ride. generally, jackies a healthy witch of breath. he wants someone to show the same freedom he has, but knows he has limits and tethers and works with them, and ultimately hes not too pressed when he cant get his way fully. generally- jackie knows whats going on and what to do about it, but hed rather have fun with it all and show others how fun it all is too

now. ran. this is unfortunately difficult because ran didnt get as much screentime as was planned. L. anyways aspectwise hes definitely one of the ones that thinks theres not really a meaning to life (think of how he just goes "well this place is going down anyways". he doesnt care what choices are taken, hes already real fuckin sure of the end result. cocky bitch). hes not one about facades or selves, bc its rather clear that his blunt and coolguy attitude is, kind of just him, and he doesnt seem interested in deconstructing how others work, just interested in seeing how events play out. i want to say that ran is either void, time, or doom. void fits rans secrecy and overall "irrelavance" (in the sense that he doesnt seem to have contributed anything, not really), but void players are more angsty about how things dont matter rather than accepting it. which leaves time and doom. ultimately, id say time. doom players arent cocky in the right way </3. also just, yknow, the whole possible time traveler ran thing, the drama, the bluntness, internalization, the end of things, fake deep metaphors, etc etc. does mean that there really has to be a focus on the right class to truly pin him down, because most classes when paired with time are more emotional than ran is

so.. rans class. after a lot of deliberation, my main two thoughts are either a maid or a page. however, page means that before the pit, ran didnt have a good grasp on his aspect and after a long while of self awareness training does now, while maid means that either before or during the pit he relies on others to define his aspect. either way, he has a good grasp on it, but its clear that hes not letting himself really be free with it. this is why i want to say maid, because pages are sort of like starting with a disadvantage and just continuing with it even though you could probably fix it if you really tried, but youd rather just focus on what you have and being the best at it. maids are about growing into what you could have. doing what theyre expected at first and getting their aspect from somewhere else. they dont like being passive, but its what gets them the best results, right? but what defines a maid is getting out of that stage, of standing up for themself and defining their aspect for themselves and getting it by themselves, stubborn and becoming powerful and often terrifying, almost more than a witch if they do it correctly. so, basically, rans an aradia kinnie, hes just in his aradiabot phase right now. if he let himself get past that stage though, i think hed be happy

so basic summary: jackie understands that he has limits and tethers and focuses on what freedom he does has, and wants to have someone to experience that freedom with, and is a witch of breath. ran is leaning into the whole "its all hopeless anyways" because those that he relies on define it as such, but he has the potential to be happy and reach his full potential if he just lets himself choose his own path for once (and one thats not unhealthy), and is a maid of time. ultimately its why they work well together, once jackie gets ran to choose to be free with him, theyll both be happy. jackies already at his full potential, and has the power to get ran to choose to reach his full potential as well. bada bing bada boom baby really shows how much absolute Bullshit goes into classpecting because with fuckin classpecting terms you really can squeeze the hell out of characters with 1-2 sentence blurbs of characterization at most. white boys have ruined my life, zayne -🎭🎪

OH MY FUCKING GOD DUDE THIS IS SO GOOD

i will actually be stealing all of this for the fic, thank you so much oh my god. this is pretty much the only real good ran and jackie analysis to exist, im going to fucking scream and cry this is awesome

i hope you have SUCH a good sleep you deserve it

wow i cant express how thankful i am for this

(i find it really interesting that both ran and jackie seem to have an end-of-the-world-nothing-matters mindset, but different ways of going about that... genuinely can’t wait to explore that and then let them naturally develop, because hell yeah dude)

[crossovereddie]

Thoughts on Gallavich Hall of Shame

Wow okay this is the latest I’ve ever posted a weekly recap and I feel awful about it but mom life amirite? I’ve seen a lot of negative posts about this episode( maybe I just follow the wrong people) so ngl I’m kinda worried about watching it. Ugh. This is why I try to not look up things until I’ve had a chance to recap because I hate being influenced by other people’s opinions BUT I’m gonna try my best to find the positive things in the episode and keep this light hearted and fun like I’ve been trying to do all season! Okay I’ll shut up now and get right into why you’re really reading this post:

Oh baby Gallavich :(((((

THEY WERE SO LITTLE

Bitch don’t even say the word divorce

They’re sitting side by side playing a game together 😭😭😭😭

Mickey loves blowing ian pass it on

Oh fuck I forgot that belt move ian did 🤤🤤🤤

Nob job lmao

MID GOBBLE

ugh Ned was the most disgusting piece of shit

Who are those two exes wtf

I don’t know their names but I forgot I never watched any episode Mickey wasn’t in lmao

WAIT A WOMAN WHAT THE FUCK

Wow Mickey Milkovich really deserves so much better

Compilation of Mickey saying fuck THANK YOU

Omfg s4 Mickey was actually perfect

“Course you will. That’s your whole fucking MO” oh shit..

Wow remembering the past is really making me hate ian again lmao

Just when I started loving him for once

But then I remember how much he’s grown and I love him again

Fuck the writers tho

Let me write Gallavich please I’d do a much better job

Okay y’all really made it seem like Mickey was super offensive with his bipolar comment

I’m bipolar and hate when people use the term lightly but cmon guys that was nothing

He even called it a bipolar episode. He didn’t say anything offensive at all omfg. I was over here thinking he called him a psycho or something.

Some of y’all just gotta stop watching and stick to fanfics or something.

“I wish I never met you.” “Me either” THEN THEIR FUCKING WEDDING FUCK YALL NOW IM IN MY FEELS 😭😭

They’ve been through so much wow

Okay I need to see Mickey wearing a fanny pack

THE RING AND THE FLASHBACK STOP

GIVE MICKEY AND IAN A BABY

Fuck I need to rewatch the wedding

“Stupid gallagher” same

Mickey giving the Fanny pack back my boy is such a Good Samaritan wow I raised you so well I’m so proud my perfect son

SHIT I JUST REALIZED WHAT SONG IS PLAYING FUCK THIS YALL IM OUT 😭😭😭😭😭

Oh gosh I thought we were done seeing ian Gallagher’s dance moves

Why would they put us through that again

“Stupid Milkovich” you watch your mouth

But we love when a man learns from his mistakes

Now kiss

Mickey is beautiful damn ian is so lucky

Now this is the type of flashback I like to see

MICKEY SAYING HES SENSITIVE DO YALL REALIZE HOW BIG THAT IS?!

Ugh I love him so much

I’m so proud to be his mom

Okay unpopular opinion but I actually love that little how’d your bipolar tirade go how’d your stealing shit go

If you’ve been with someone through their rock bottoms you’ll understand how not offensive at all that interaction was

They both said things they felt bad about saying and now they’re having a bit of banter about it

“We work well together”

GUYES THEYRE ACTUALLY TALKING THINGS OUT THIS IS HUGE

They needed space after feelings got hurt but now they’re coming together to make up and actually talk things over

They’re learning and growing apart AND together

They both had the horrible childhoods and they’re doing their best

It takes years and years of therapy to work through deep rooted issues like that. I’m STILL seeing a therapist twice a week and I still have issues.

Just imagine. They’re how old? Mid to late twenties and neither of them have properly dealt with their issues and mental health problems. You can’t expect them to be the perfect couple you read about in fanfics. Yeah shameless is over the top but it’s a tv show that has stayed on the air for 11 seasons BECAUSE of how over the top it is. Stop expecting these characters to be healed healthy woke changed characters from one season to the next when they haven’t even properly dealt with their issues and it would honestly be very ooc if they did deal with their issues in a healthy way

I wish they would but that’s not the shameless way.

Well that was a long rant but honestly it was needed

Ugh I hate reliving terry this is the worst my heart is breaking

I skipped fast

Terry is definitely worse but yeah they’re both pieces of shit

Shit I forgot how abusive frank was

They both deserve so much better

They’re so cute oh gosh

We love communication

Okay but fr taking a bath with your SO isn’t as romantic as people think or maybe I’m just not a romantic lmao

Unless it’s a big bathtub with leg room

Mickey has the best lines

He’s so funny 😭😭😭

Mickey loves being manhandled✨✨✨✨

Honestly? I really think they would be really into some safe consensual bdsm play and they deserve to have that

PICK HIM UP IAN PLEASE ITS WHAT HE WANTS

fucking love you

I love you too

MUTUAL I LOVE YOUS ARE MY FAVORITE THING

IAN LOVES TO DO THE THUMB THING I CANT

HE DID IT EIGHT TIMES IN THREE SECONDS I COUNTED

they’re so perfect for each other :(((

A kissing compilation 😭😭

THE S7 VAN KISS HAS MY HEART

I still want a scene of Mickey making fun of Ian’s black hair

THE WEDDING 😭😭😭

I’m in tears again

THE KEY CHANGE WITH IAN SAYS MICKEY STILL GETS ME 😭😭😭😭

“Now?” HOW DOES ONE WORD GET SUCH A BIG REACTION FROM ME

I deserved to be at that wedding 😭😭😭

“But not these newlyweds” damn right

THE BLOOPERS

I love them so much

I LOVE SEEING NOEL AND CAM AT WORK

What a treat

SWEET LOVING MOUTH

THE THUMB THING AGAIN

JUST FOR ME

I MISS SEASONN FOUR MICKEY I WANNA GO WATCH HIM NOW

I love Mickey more than anything 😭😭

Okay that was so much better than I was expecting! I know I ranted a lot and I’m probably gonna get some angry comments and messages but I honestly don’t care. Have your opinion and I’ll have my own and if you wanna discuss things like adults I’ll reply but if not then I don’t have time for the negativity. My boys actually communicated and didn’t self sabotage for once and I’m so proud. I love not being as invested as I used to be because now I can actually enjoy their scenes! Anyway it’s late where I’m at and I haven’t been getting much sleep so I’m gonna stop rambling. Let me know what you thought of this episode! Oh and real quick! I noticed I got a flood of new followers in the past two weeks so i just wanted to say feel free to send me messages on and off anon! I like talking to y’all! I promise I’m nice lol! Okay bye I love Mickey so much!

[youthofpandas]

Ooooh ask games! Okay so, Mythra from Xenoblade, Venti from Genshin, and Azura from Fire Emblem! Very curious about your thoughts on Azura honestly.

ooooo a lot of fun characters thank you!!! i put this under a read more because i maaaaay have talked way more than i thought i would lol

Sexuality Headcanon: mythra is hmm! unlabeled or pan? her and brighid have big exes energy what can i say /// venti is doing whatever hes doing, i dont think he would label himself you ask him what he is and he just says yes. he is LGBT all of it /// azura is a bicon we love her... also arospec because i love her...

Gender Headcanon: all of the blades deserve to be a lil nonbinary as a treat but the aegis characters especially. the (motions to the spoilers of their true nature) and all. so yea!! demigirl or a similar label for mythra. /// venti agender real. hes a lil wind spirit who became a bard he doesnt have a gender /// azura is hmm? a binary woman? i dont have any lean hard on her being trans or cis but transfem azura is good

A ship I have with said character: this is making me realize i dont really have almost any ships with mythra lol! i like her nia and pyra as a poly couple (like. nia is dating both of them but mythra and pyra are obviously not dating each other) sorry rex. her and brighid being exes is something that can be so personal /// venti and zhongli because i dont like shipping him with the normal aged characters <3 also theyre funny and stupid /// azura and kaden is really cute i love how she gets to relax in their support! i think i paired her with kaze on my first playthrough and also liked them. really wish she got any supports with women that werent her family but i think her and felicia wouldve been cute!

A BROTP I have with said character: mythra and pyra have such an interesting dynamic going on i wish they had more interactions with each other in the game. her and opening up to a friendship with rex is also something i really love even if (gestures to the notp section) /// venti diluc might not be bros but they DO know way too many of each others secrets by sheer accident bar tender and drunk idiot can transcend friendship actually /// azura and the hoshido siblings :(( mainly thinking of sakura here but i think post game that they all deserve to be a real family to parallel how corrin is with the nohr siblings.

A NOTP I have with said character: i hate mythra and rex romantically. it doesnt help that hes officially 15 and its impossible to see her as anywhere close to that age. even ignoring that i think they work best as good friends /// uuuh im not a huge fan of venti/barbara? she feels like a 16 year old idol to me but ill admit the god x nun thing is kind of comedy gold and if you dont see her as a kid its fine /// poor azura to be romance bait for the player only to be the playable characters cousin.... they did her so dirty with that

A random headcanon: back in torna era mythra cooked something well once and it was on accident and nobody believed she made it and she was a lil tempted to use the siren laser beam to blow something up she was so mad /// venti invented the teyvat version of beer pong /// not long after azura got to hoshido she tried to ride a pegasus and fell right off and swore off trying again for years

General Opinion over said character: mythra is up there for being one of the best written women in a recent game for me? i think her struggles with what shes been through and seen making her literally create an idealized version of herself (who is still flawed and imperfect) is such an interesting story even if its hindered by how fucking awful her model/design can be at times and the fact two of her first scenes are being weirdo tsundere anime girl trope. that part sucks. but anyways shes still really well written most of the time and i love her arc when you look at how she was at the start of torna through to the end of xc2 proper

venti is like... im waiting to see what exactly he did during the fall of khaenri'ah before solidifying any proper thoughts i have on him if that makes sense? the seven are hiding so much i feel like i cant make a judgement call about them until we get more info (i say as if zhongli isnt one of my favorite characters, but i Understand him a lot more than i do venti). i think that the fandom is sooooo wrong about him hes a sad old man who has lost so much and drinks to comfort himself and i think the grief and loss that echoes throughout his story quest is his best trait. also 100% believe that he agreed to losing his gnosis and that it was all a big act that it was being stolen from him, if that doesnt end up being canon im gonna be really disapointed

azura is the backbone the glue the everything that tries to holds fates' flimsy story together and i think she mostly does a great job for what shes got. i love love love how she has had two families that never actually loved her like a real family should and i think its neat that she eventually gets to find that kinship through corrin. i love her softness while she is still highly determined and sharp witted. when i first played i really related to how she felt the need to put the burdens of the world on her shoulders even if it (literally!) killed her. she really pulls off the princess from a fallen/destroyed kingdom thing with how well her writing balances the sadness and loneliness she's lived with for so long with how she is still a girl who is alive and has joy even if she forgets it sometimes. her scary stories she tells to sakura and her love of sleeping on a fluffy kitsune tail all humanize her and give her a depth a lot of the fates cast is missing. we love her we stan.

[gallickingun]

reality-is-often-disappointing x denki || gallickingun matchups

@reality-is-often-disappointing : I, have shamelessly came here on note for a first tier matchup. MHA, my hobbies are a wild variety that includes mainly singing -as i have an ' amazing' alto voice- writing, drawing -in pencil mainly but also acrylics on canvas- I'm good at cooking -better thank baku if I do say so myself- reading fanfics obv, fangirling/gushing over hot guys with the girls yk? my dress code is ultimate modesty as i dont like showing skin, yet it's classy chic, very picky while shopping yes. my favorite colors are blank and vintage pink. aesthetic is more cutsie unicorn colors -my rooms main colors- but i actually only ever like wearing black. i do know how to swim but cant because *da-dun* i have dry eyes/also wear glasses. my favorite food is dark chocolate w/ those bits of cherries or oranges. as a first date i'm open to anything from a movie in or out, to walks on the beach or even just the arcade. i'm a she/her, and currently feeling like i'm going for a guy as a match triggers: only degradation or backtalking, it makes me anxious, a paranoid mess and i'll most definitely end up crying without even noticing. 165cm or 5'5 dark natural black hair (the 80s lion cut up to collarbone & a fringe) eye color, theyre black/brown when in sunlight. im white with a med and warmish olive undertones, natrually rosy cheeks -holy dark circles- full brows and what i've been called as "doll-like-eyes" or "cat-eyes" since theyre big and long naturally curled lashes. My birthday is on 31st of october, scorpio, INFP personality to cut short for you! I'm a child-free spirited but also am like-mature at maximum effort. I either sleep 3 or 16 hours there is no inbetween (once slept for 24 hrs but I'm not going to talk about how that freaked everyone out) I've been singing since I was three or since I've remembered. Secretly wanted to go on those x-factor shows but bleh, no. Fame is not really for me. Anywho, love you! Have fun with this and drink water! 🎵

Thank you so much for sending in the request for this! You’re such a gem, I really appreciate every time I get the pleasure of interacting with you, darling 🧡

― Denki would love the fact that you sing! He thinks you have a beautiful voice, and even if you’re across the house, if he hears you start to pick up a tune, he’ll join in! ― I think the two of you would pull all nighters together some nights, and other days sleep until you’ve passed the whole weekend by without doing much of anything. Denki can stay up until the sunrise, or he can sleep until noon, whatever you want to do! ― He loves your free spirit, it makes it easy to take you on adventures and experience the world with you. 

⁂ Denki will randomly offer to pick you up from work, and the two of you will drive a couple of hours to the countryside or the beach - windows down, music blaring, singing until your throats are numb - and you’ll spend a night or a weekend away from the world, just wrapped up in each other. 

⁂ He’s a horrible cook, absolutely terrible. Kaminari loves that you cook dinner most nights, because not only does he get to eat your delicious food, he also gets to praise the heck out of you for preparing a wonderful meal. He really adores it when you make too much and he gets to take the leftovers to work the next day. Of course he brags about you to all of the other heroes, and he really loves the note you leave on top of the tupperware. 

⁂ Even if the two of you aren’t actively together, you’ll still stay up late. Sometimes you watch Kaminari while he plays video games, laying on the couch with your legs over his lap while he mashes the controller buttons and speaks to whoever is on the other side of the headset. In between each match or round, he’ll slip the headphones off his ears and run his palm along your calf, massaging your leg, “Whatcha doin’, babe?” And he’ll listen to you drone on about whatever YouTube video you were watching, whatever thing you’re reading, or whatever social media event has gotten your attention. 

⁂ He learns how to harmonize in order to compliment your voice better. He shows it off one night when you’re singing along while cooking dinner - Denki sidles up behind you, arms around your waist, and starts to harmonize in your ear along with the song you’ve been captivated by for the last few weeks. You feel warm at the sound of his voice, and even more so due to the effort he’s put in to prove to you that your interests are his interests. And boy, is he interested in you. 

⁂ Kaminari will be down to try all kinds of fruit chocolates with you - you guys even play a roulette style game where you have to guess what kind of fruit is hidden within the chocolate. You win, mostly, because Denki just wants to stuff his face with sugar so fast that he doesn’t recognize the fruit chunks. But he still plays and is in awe of you getting every single one right because you never fail to amaze him. 

Denki slips in through the doorway, sliding off his shoes in favor of his house slippers as quietly as possible. He notices that the television is still flickering on and off, images bouncing off the glass of the window panes scattered throughout the living room walls. A chuckle parts his lips when he sees you curled up in one of his old hero merch designs - a hoodie that is too large for you, so big that it would seem it has swallowed you whole. Your legs are curled into your chest and your head rests on the arm of the couch, gentle snores making your nostrils shudder.

He tries to pick you up, slipping his arms carefully beneath your frame. But somehow you stir, your eyes peeling open lazily as you smack your lips, slowly sinking away from the realm of slumber. A gentle smile tugs on your lips and you frame his face with your hands, “Another late night?”

“Duty calls,” his voice does not sound as excited as it once did to get those midnight rings from the agency. Now, he just aches to be at home with you at the decent hours of the night, where he can hold you and fall asleep with you and remember why he fell in love with you all over again, every time he gets the faintest of whiffs of your perfume or your shampoo. 

“Dinner is in the oven,” you are murmuring, your head lolling against his chest as he settles you into his hold, “I waited for you to start the next season.”

Kaminari is laughing, but the sound of it sobers you up and you grab him by the collar of his jacket with the one arm that is listening to you tell it how to move, the other pinned between your bodies, “H-Hey, don’t laugh at me! I waited for you to start it, now we’re gonna start it.”

Somehow you’re settled back into the couch, hands desperate for him as you search his torso for somewhere to find purchase. Kaminari leans down and kisses your forehead and then the tip of your nose, his lips hovering just above the bow of your mouth as he whispers, “Whatever you want, honey.”

Matchups Original Post | Ko-Fi | Patreon | Commissions | AO3 | Writing Tag

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[beeapocalypse]

since nobody is talking about the very important subject of chaos knight and abaddon i will take it upon myself because i love these boys,, 

edit: take thsi gross ass thing from my drafts take it i cant believe i typed all of this without somehow dying my love for these two fucks kept me alive

Abaddon is generally avoided by the rest of his team because he has that ~spooky mist aesthetic~ going for him but he doesnt really notice ever because it was much the same at the house avernus. For him all that he’s really there to do is destroy the enemy ancient and keep his team from dying so while everyone might be wary of him they can appreciate his dedication to the cause and his no-nonsense attitude (and the dozens of shields and mist coils that keep them alive probably shdsk). Keeping with his ‘not like the other kids’ kind of vibe Abaddon doesn’t join in with any festivities after a victory (or defeat, if the other team is generous and his gracious) and spends most of his time tending to his mount, reading (he’s secretly got a thing for Poe-esque poetry and the odd romance), or walking throughout the woods aimlessly as he ponders deep mysterious mysteries of the mist. Nobody has seen his face and he intends to keep it that way (under his helmet and all of the mist that just kind of naturally pools out of his skin he looks surprisingly human, with a dark angular face and faint scars from his life of protecting the font, but his glowing piercing eyes and strange echo-y voice reveal his true nature). While he wields his weapon with his right hand, Abaddon is ambidextrous and tends to write with his left. He’s got a soft spot for kids and shows it off in his own weird gruff brand of kindness (making sure they’re getting enough to eat, maybe slipping them a few coins). The mist is chilly?? like if you touch it you’ll probably shiver (being encased in an aphotic shield or hit by a mist coil is REALLY cold and feels really unpleasant and slimy too) and since the mist comes from Abaddon’s skin he himself is like a little popsicle. Besides the fact that he distances himself and most people avoid him, his team doesn’t go out of their way to do stuff like pat his back or whatever because the cold is only amplified by their metal armor (Rylai has remarked on how chilly he was, and is the hero most open to small touches because she doesn’t mind the cold. Lina jokingly offered to hit him with a laguna blade to see if THAT would warm him up a little. Abaddon very politely refused before riding off into the woods to sulk). 

Chaos Knight, or Nessaj, on the other hand is the boisterous life of the party once you get a couple of flagons in him. Eons of existence hunting down the Keeper of the Light has left him with quite a lot of stories and a whole lot of experience, and he’s happy to share it with anyone who asks. Even when you don’t ask sometimes, since he has a habit of talking if he thinks its too quiet and awkward. Nessaj admires prowess on the battlefield, especially if someone can match him. His horse Armageddon is unbelievably pampered (think those little chihuahuas that ladies carry around in their handbags and get claw pedicures for) and he goes out of his way to interact with any other horses he sees on his team, or the enemy’s after an ancient is destroyed (despite his love for the beasts he isn’t the best at discerning any other animals from horses as shown by how he CANONICALLY ASKS BAT RIDER IF HE TAUGHT HIS ‘’’’HORSE’’’’ HOW TO FLY AND CALLS MIRANA AND LUNA’S CATS ‘AN UGLY HORSE’ UFCK). Nessaj is a stickler for any games of chance and betting on the most random of things (like along the lines of betting Slark a clarity that sometime during the match he’ll get killed because he tripped over his own feet. Slark, being the awful criminal fishman that he is, will always accept and then focus the entire match on NOT doing that instead of actually paying attention to his surroundings or whatever). Whenever he summons the other versions of himself from different planes, it feels like getting the wind knocked out of him and he feels mildly off balance for a bit even after they leave again. He smells vaguely like burnt cinnamon and smoke and is REALLY WARM (like a furnace kind of,, if you sit too close to him you’ll start to feel gross and sweaty and he can make a room warmer when he steps inside of it but he personally never feels overly hot?? just kind of like how you feel when you put on clothes that just got out of the dryer. He’s never felt really cold in his existence and Rylai is the only one who’s ever been able to make him shiver). Nessaj is like a bottomless pit when it comes to eating (he knows lot about food too, since he’s been hunting down the Keeper of the Light for a LONG time and thus travels from plane to plane a lot) and has been challenged to competitions to Pudge before. 

The first time the two of them meet, its during the start of their first match of being on the same team. They’d both heard of each other before (with Nessaj being impressed by Abaddon’s long history of combat and the abilities granted to him by the mist, and Abaddon noting the Elemental’s presence and his fabled skill among the rest of the rabble of heroes with little interest before moving on), but Nessaj was the only one who was really interested in meeting the other. It was he who suggested that the two of them lane together, and they make for a surprisingly good team. Abaddon keeps up his doom and gloom attitude for the time but still pays attention to Nessaj’s chatter and keeps him safe whenever necessary. He occasionally comments on a story or adds in his own commentary without thought, opening up as time passes. Something about the two sided knight, both deadly on the field and personable by his side, not ever seeming to be wary of him because of his off putting appearance and attitude, set Abaddon at ease. It was Nessaj who, when the match ended in their victory and the rest of the two team set off to be holy terrors at the nearest bar to celebrate, got the misty horseman to come along for the festivities. While Abaddon ends up spending most of the night (and the eventual early morning- when the teams party, they go all or nothing most of the time and party HARD) sitting alone at the table furthest from everyone else as they give him the occasional odd glance, being their and watching everyone else have fun and be happy makes him happy. Nessaj drifts between the two teams and the lone horseman throughout the night and, while he doesn’t really tone down his voice or general excitability, its the thought that counts. 

As their friendship progresses Nessaj becomes a kind of?? link between Abaddon and the rest of the team. What started out as going to post-match celebrations and sitting on the sidelines slowly becomes joining the rest of his team regularly for meals when Nessaj is there and sometimes joining in on conversations. He becomes closer with other heroes as time passes, from discussing weird prophetic mist visions with Nerif to swapping stuffy timeworn literature with Lanaya (he Ostarion and Phoenix probably form a ‘Just Try To Kill Us’ club at one point and meet up to talk about how cool it is to be so hard to kill hdfksks). 

uhhhhh FUCK i have more i want to say about this but i cant think right now so take this mess,, nice

[figuringouthowtobehere]

please dont reblog this

i dont have many ppl to talk to. so here i am, screaming into the void that is my tumblr again.

im mostly posting this because im alone. im really really fucking alone. and im hoping i might, idfk, make a solid, trustable connection from tumblr??? idfk. im alone in the world.

please dont reblog this

cw family issues, su*cidality, abandonment, abuse, childhood abuse, trauma, being alone in the world

i have no one to go to. my entire life since i was a baby all ive ever been able to do is survive at the skin of my teeth. and here i am, 20, breathing, trying so fucking hard to live and, idk if im succeeding. im doing my film shit which is cool but. im alone. im on my own. im alone in the world. i never had parents. like, obviously i had parents, but they were never parents, dyou know what i mean? like the people who genetically made me were around but they were abusing me or just being awful or refusing to listen to me about what i needed from them, from their parenthood. 

i had a conversation with my mom yesterday (after two days of not being able to get a hold of her and really really needing to) and i was basically just like ‘why cant you be my mom’ and she was like ‘i am your mom’ and i was like ‘well, yeah, but youre not--you cant--you dont mother me. and you dont mother me in the ways i need you to.’ and she was like ‘what does that look like to you?’ and i said ‘someone who i can turn to, always, someone who has my back no matter what, someone who respects me and what i need and who listens to me and trusts my experience and, yeah, someone who i can turn to always’ and she said ‘i mean i can talk with you on the phone, i can tell you what i think you should do, i can try to give you advice from my experience, but as far as someone having your back 24/7 always, i cant do that’ and we ended up talking about how im an adult now - and she was talking about it in the sense of ‘youre a grown man now, you dont need your mom like that anymore’ - and im like ‘ya, i am basically a grown man but i still need my mom. i still need parents.’ and i think im gonna end up cutting contact with her again because its too hard to simultaneously grieve her not being the mom i need and also talk to her. if im not talking to her then i can deal with the idea that i dont have a mother, that i dont have parents and i probably never will.

ive never really had people. i never really had friends when i was a child and i dont really have friends now. maybe its cause im trans, maybe its cause im autistic, maybe its cause im mixed, i dont know, but generally people in the world dont like me or it takes them a long time to not hate me. it doesnt matter why right now the point is i never had people (like, a support system) and i dont now. 

so yeah im pretty seriously thinking about killing myself (or, trying to anyway). i dont wanna die but ive spent my whole life trying to just. be a person. and find contentment. and everything in my life ends up going awful or causing me a lot of trouble at some point or another. ive come to expect it. whenever anything happens in my life im just like ‘when will this go wrong. how long will it take this time.’ and im alone. im just fucking on my own. and i know theres lots of people who are and have been more alone than i am/have been and i admire these people so fucking much like GO YOU!! YOUFUCKING DID IT!!! HELL YEAH! im so proud of u. for real, i have so much respect for all yall reading this who have made it through shit and made it through being alone in the world. you fucking got this. youre doing it. good fucking job!!!!! ✨ but then. idk ig it doesnt take away from this being incredibly fucking difficult for me. pretty much everything in my life was fucked from birth to age 18 and now over half of everything in my life is fucked. which is better, for sure, but its still. ive never had a chance. idk it just seems to me like it doesnt matter. i can try and try and do all the therapies and take all the psych meds a psychiatrist might give me and i can meditate all the time. it just seems like im Doomed. (WOW i sound dumb and childish) like ik logically this is probably incorrect, that im not actually just.. doomed but thats how it feels. whenever a good thing happens im just waiting for it to collapse on me. and usually it does in way or another. generally not because of anything ive done or havent done, it just ends up being shit.

and then. ive never had anyone. i dont have anyone. im alone in the world. like its not that im ignoring people i do have or choosing to omit them from my mind right now. i have a singular friend in the place where i live; my other two friends both live in the states. i live with someone who was a support for me until like last ... july or so, i think, who now makes me feel like shit (they arent being malicious its just a bunch of issues in our relationship. theres more on that in stuff ive posted before, if you feel like digging through my posts for a while go ahead and youll find more on that) and i have like 5% (out of 100%) trust for them. i have a therapist who i see once a week and ik shes invested in me, but thats her job. and i cant just call her whenever i want. i have several people for film stuff but theyre either just casual pals and then colleagues or just colleagues. i know a lot of people, who dont really show any investment in me as a person or their relationship with me and who i dont really click well with. and thats it. 

and im so. im so in love with Film. all of it. (not The Film Industry obviously.) im so fucking in love with it. the only real concrete reason that i wont end up killing myself in the next like month or two is because Film. and i just. need. people. i need parents. or something. fuck.

i think part of this is probably the long-term ramifications of ongoing childhood sexual, physical, and psychological abuse and never really having good, consistent support cause id be surprised if that didnt fuck with my brain (and, yk, untreated severe childhood brain damage from tbis beginning at less than a year old). but it doesnt really matter does it. ive been through the shit time and again and its not like anyone has appeared and been like ‘hello, i see you never had parents, this is who i am, would you like to get to know each other for a while and maybe i could be your mom?’ cause thats literally what i need. i need parents. like i know theres a thing of ‘if you didnt have parents then you cant undo that damage’ but like idk. if someone has a bunch of unhealed broken bones that got broken years ago that are now causing them a lot of pain you wouldnt just be like ‘sorry, i see youre in trouble from this shit, but because it happened years ago theres nothing we can do’ cause there is??? i forget how i was gonna say this before but like. i didnt have parents. with the ‘parents’ i had its a scientific anomaly i lived past age three. i refuse to believe that having Good Parents and a Good Support System now would do nothing for me. cause it would. 

im also facing impending homelessness due to a) welfare/disability programs not giving you enough to live off and b) not having a roommate/not having support systems/not having people. so that doesnt help.

i dont know how to do this. im on my own. im doing all i can. ive reached out to everyone i feel like i could reach out to and. im on my own.

help. i guess. idk what that means but im, once again, at an incredibly fucking AWFUL point in my life and i need help. i doubt anyone will be able to but. if youre able to then. idk. do something. ik that i sound desperate and pitiful and i literally dont care at all because i literally am desperate for support and i literally am at - ANOTHER - extremely low point in my life and its pitiful. im cringing at myself actually posting this because its like ‘you think youre actually find what you need via a tumblr post? where are you? cause thats not real life dude’ but i dont fucking have people to talk to (as you have already understood 🙃) and im tired and tired and tired and tired.

if you took the time to read this i thank you and i hope ur day is going vvv well

please dont reblog this!!

[mayapenelopeclutterbucket]

*SPOILERS* for TGD 3x12 “Mutations” aka this is me typing from the dead because this episode gave me more then one heart attack 😭🙏🏼

Also I’m sorry this post got so long I’m just so excited/happy Jesus Christ like wow just wow

So I wasn’t initially going to watch this live because I have work at 5 in the morning 🙃 and because I wouldn’t be able to pause it while my hands try to keep up with my thoughts but it’s been so long since I’ve been able to do it and I missed it despite my hatred of commercials lol so wish me luck!

Also I’m very very excited for the melendaire content we’re getting tonight since they’re working together again and I’m freakin hoping at this prom they throw Melendez either does a double take at how nice Claire looks OOOOR we get him asking her dance 😭 just SOMETHING PLZZZ

I haven’t even started the ep yet and already can’t wait to see some of the moments in hd tomorrow once it comes on Hulu 😂

I can’t believe shaun is really gonna move out like I get where Carly is coming from but shaun is allowed to have female friends and after some theories from the last ep I’m worried shaun only told Carly he loved her so she wouldn’t leave him like “everyone else”

Aww adorable these two are so cute and Claire thinks they’re adorable as well and imma sue abc if one half of that couple dies or even worse BOTH

Melendaire group chat finally popping again 😭 although I don’t text back until break I love y’all tho 💕💕

So secret checkups with glassy and Morgan 👀 when are ppl gonna find out about her arthritis for the drama~~

Oh my god since when does Melendez go in there for MRIs it’s so just to see Claire oh my god Melendez being in love with Claire and her usual compassion

Omg cuties joking about Claire going to therapy and it working well and talking about love and being happy

Like why else have them interact like that omfgggg I can’t not even five minutes in and we were already getting melendaire content 😭 THEYRE SOULMATES

God damn it I knew it something was gonna happen to the girl since the guy is a okay

Well damn that medication Morgan is on for her arthritis is FUCKING her up smh 🤦🏻‍♀️

Aww all she wanted was one prom but we know Claire will make it happen for her

Aww them talking about prom and Melendez wanting Claire’s answer and her talking about her mom so freely and then going to see glassy together THE MELENDAIRE MOMENTS KEEP COMING 🙏🏼

The fact the writers were just like fuck park lmao he doesn’t even need to be in this scene with Melendez & Claire or instead of Claire 😂

I’m surprised Carly didn’t say anything about lea knowing their business again

Lmaoo Andrews calling Morgan out about sucking up and her owning it

Claire you are not sorry for overstepping don’t lie lol

Sharly working together professionally how adorable

Park is so annoying I’m v done with him he has no soul IM TIRED OF IT

I have missed Claire being pushy to help her patients

I’m glad Carly’s smarts and her being badass scenes are being extended past the lab

Oof Melendez being supportive of his boo and unsurprised of Claire wanting to make their patient happy (BECAUSE HE LOVES HER FOR IT AND IS GRATEFUL HE GETS TO WORK WITH HER REMEMBER) and wanting her to find a way around the mom 😭😭

God I love these two

Oof trouble with sharly has risen

Awww Carly and shaun getting each other and their ideas and finishing each other’s sentences l*mlendez could NEVER but melendaire could 😂 sorry cheap shot I know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Glassy is gonna out Morgan on her arthritis soon I feel it

Wow a shaire moment when was the last time they shared a fucking scene like they’re supposed to be besties wtf happened writers?!!? Aaaand it’s over in like a minute

😭😭 Claire is such an angel she’s the freakin BEST

Carly using science to explain how she feels to shaun cute

Oh my god no you can’t use an Ed sheeran song with cancer patients 😭😭 that makes it 20x sadder

Melendez and Claire are totally staring at each other in awe omg

Omg Claire Melendez are chaperones park no where to be found y’all know what that MEANS and they’re the only other people there they better fucking dance together omg I can’t he just said Claire looked to be feeling idiotic happiness 😭

AND HOLY FUCKING SHIT I WAS RIGHT I FROZE AND COULDNT BREATHE BUT MELENDEZ REALLY DID ASK CLAIRE TO DANCE AND THEY DID HOLY SHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE WE GOT THAT MELENDAIRE MOMENT I’VE BEEN DYING AND WAITING FOR SINCE I SAW THE BTS SCENE OF CLAIRE IN THAT OUTFIT AND FOUND OUT THIS EP WAS GONNA BE A PROM EP I had to type all that after the moment ended so I could really experience it since I can’t pause OR rewind but I was yelling oh my god so much my sister had to ask if I was okay 😂😭 I had a heart attack when he asked her if she wanted to dance ngl

Claire being inspirational and giving good speeches again I love her so much and am so glad she’s doing better

Carly you better not have changed your MEDICAL opinion because you wanted it to align with Shaun’s 🙄

Wow glassy you really had no other ideas nor could you jump in I hate him

The melendaire exchanging looks scenes are back in action

Wow that Carly and shaun moment was super adorable him calling her idea perfect and brilliant and her being brilliant and almost perfect 😭

Man they really said fuck park this ep huh he isn’t with Claire and Melendez again

But boy shit no she died 😩😩

Wtf why can’t Claire and her patients ever catch a BREAK like leave Claire ALONE and omg does Claire being heartbroken again mean we get another Melendez comforting Claire scene?! Becaus the way he stared after her after she ran off 👀👀 oof is NOT platonic lol

Aww sharly held hands to comfort and support each other

Holy shit I was right suck it katie @pinkobsessedfreak (I’m just kidding I love you 😂💕💕) for bringing the group chat down and shutting my theory down

BECAUSE GUESS WHAT WE SERIOUSLY GOT MELENDEZ GOING AFER CLAIRE WITH ANOTHER STAIRS AND BALCONY SCENE AND HIM COMFORTING HER AND MAKING HER FACE HER FEELINGS AND TELLING HER ITS OKAY TO BE ANGRY AT HER MOM (I was robbed of a hug but it’s okay I got everything else I fucking needed tonight) and now he has an idea for with something that makes him feel better

That fake out 😂😂

Wow oh wow this ep really was chock full of melendaire moments NOW THEYRE BONDING BY MELENDEZ AND CLAIRE RUNNING TOGTHER AND HIM HELPING WITH HER GRIEF AND AND EMOTIONS AND TEASING EACH OTHER OH MY GOOOOOD IVE DIED AND COME BACK TO LIFE SO MANY TIMES THIS EP SO IM SORRY IF THIS POST IS SO LONG

don’t y’all love how lim was in this epcand yet we didn’t get a SINGLE l*’mlendez ep because I sure af do!!! Also park who?? Lmao he was hardly in this ep even tho he working the same patient with Melendez and Claire they really shoved him out to make these endless melendaire moments happen

SLOW BURN BABY WE BACK IN FUCKING BUSINESS

Also in other news shaun lost his v card and it looks like we’ll get some more Morgan angst with her mom possibly dying or some shit like that like man these writers really don’t want any of the residents and doctors to have good parents or alive ones for that matter lmao

Also some breznick moments which will be cute

YALL IM STILL SO EXCITED FROM TONIGHT LIKE OMG THIS SHOW THIS SHIP GETS ME EVERY TIME I CANT WAIT TO GIF IT TOMORROW 😭😭 like I can’t get over it I’m in SHOCK still

We’ve really gotten Melendez comforting Claire not once not twice BUT THREE TIMES this season. This really is our season and people try to say Melendez treats all his residents like he does Claire or that he has done the same for others before YEAH FUCKING RIGHT

Okay I’m done I think freaking out at least on this post freak out about it in the comments with me tho or my ask or by reblogging just be happy with me okay 😂

P.S. check out my melendaire gifset that’s not showing up in the tags 🙃

[bma-2020]

Okiedok here’s the delio. I have a list of all the blogs from the last six months who’s actively either responded to a meme i sent, responded to a message ive sent, replied to something regarding mally herself, has actually written with me, written a starter for me from my liking a starter call, has at least liked a starter i wrote for them to awknowedge it exists, all that jazz, i have a lot of open field so it’s not just a possible tumblr didnt let them no option anymore, because i send memes to everyone who posts them that i see. I reply to most peoples ooc posts. I like most starter calls I pass by. I try my darndest to actually interact bc i know how it feels to be ignored and its… i’ve been called one before so i’m using the word, thats fluffing cunty behavior, and honestly if you complain about not being interacted with but never even try when i try with you, ya being cunty, end of. I gotta list. That list only entails Mally because she’s who I care about the most. I’m probably gonna start instilling a new rule in all my blogs that if you ignore Mally and/or Darcy( @tasedandconfused ), since I would say they’re my two main blogs tho darcy gets ignored even more than mally does, probably bc i denied canon and left it entirely we know fandom hates that, if either of them is ignored then… Ya out of luck, I’m gonna unfollow you. I’m debating soft blocking everyone who ignored me on both of them but I don’t want to like be mean and deny the chance to eventually try again but at the same time i shouldnt feel bad for taking a stand and saying this is bullsheet, idk my anxiety says im awful for giving a fluff about myself but also i should give a fluff about myself probably, ive nearly died in the last three months, my brain almost exploded, i just had three root canals on one corner of my face, i have to potentially get surgery on my inner ear which i cant even afford, i dont got time to deal with only being used for like smut memes or like as a resource blog or utter bs like that, i dont got time for it. So new rules here. 1: If Mally or Darcy are not acknowledged, written with, responded to, viewed as more than just their fluffing bodies? ya dropped, im unfollowing, potentially soft blocking, which means blocking and unblocking for those not in the know, on all accounts I follow you on. Every single one. I know most of my muses are on sideblogs but despite not being able to send memes from sideblogs you can block people from sideblogs fun fact, i will do that if i have to. 2: I’m gonna be posting SCs, PCs, memes, etc. I like and respond to plotting calls, starter calls, i send memes, all of that. If I don’t get any response within.. I’m giving one week for people who don’t run on a queue and a month and a half to people on a queue based system, if i dont get anything within that time like at least an im being like ‘its posted’ or ‘its queued i wanted to let you know in case tumblrs a fluffbutt’ (i do this sometimes if i dont get even just a like on the starters i post so i at least know people saw it since i know tumblrs bs, i wait until the day they’re active to do so in case theyre busy yknow) basically i need acknowledgment at all. No you can’t claim this is abt follower count bc when you unfollow someone they inevitably unfollow you too, thats gonna drop my following, not as quickly as soft blocking would but i wanna be fair i guess, which leads to: 3: I’m basing this on your activity too, like if i like a think and you’re gone for a month after that its fine, im not gonna unfollow you unless you never come back or youre online and posting others just not mine because that tells me youre specifically ignoring me and im gonna drop you for that end of. I’m done with the bullsheet im done w the dillish behavior, i love friendship but if im giving and never receiving thats extremely one way and not gonna work. I check through my follow list weekly and i go back about five-10 pages on someones feed before i unfollow them to see their actual activity and see if theyre here or if its a q so. I’m thorough basically. 4: You dont have to be active with me on all your blogs, i mean i’d prefer it but thats hard as fluff so essentially if you have like five blogs and are just like trying w me on two or three thats fine. Ten blogs, four or five with at least a plot formed is cool. Multis just one muse is all I’d need. I’m not gonna unfollow the blogs youre not writing w me on if you at least write w me on some. Again, specifically Mally and/or Darcy. If you ignore both of them, we’re done. I havent been active on darcy because of being ignored and its a huge butt mess and im just tired i wanna use my babies, you don’t get to have my ‘better’ muses like i know a lot of ppl only follow me for my boys or my villains, you don’t get them if you ignore my baby. But, there is a limit there too. 5: If you never respond to a meme or thread even once with Mally or Darcy, or post a starter, i reply, its never replied to again after a month, I’m unfollowing and/or soft blocking for that too. Bc that means youre just raising my hopes to fluff with me or get someone else and honestly, youre even more cunty than than the people just flat out ignoring me if you do that. And this isnt a specific person, this is five of the people actually on my list. Yes, my list is also annotated with specifics again I was very thorough on this yesterday, I hyperfixated I’ll admit it, I’m in a fluffing depressionary bubble and being told to get over it because people want something they dont deserve to have to. I am a believer that people deserve good things but if youre purposefully being cunty… no you dont. 6: No I’m not releasing my list, maybe I will and I’ll omit the urls because I don’t want people being buttholes to each other too but otherwise, yall not seeing it im not giving a callout because… really thats just unnecessary here. I don’t think yall are toxic people or something i just think yall are unintentionally being cunty. And no I don’t mean everyone that follows me i mean the ppl that add up to what i’ve documented so far and fit the bill of butthat that i’ve shown, its behaviors yall gotta check before ya wreck. Yes there will be some people who have priority, everyone has those people, I write w kathryn on other platforms since she doesnt go on here as often but when Kathryn returns from war here (if she does cause she also agrees most ppl on this platform are cunty, i feel really bad saying that word so often but im gonna keep doing it i recently deleted an ask saying I was a huge cunt for not sending someone smut memes when I didn’t even follow them or know they existed so, again the travesty of this place is nutballers) same with owly, alex is here too, my most active partners are always going to be priority because theyre the ones who show the most interest and the most care. I understand that with others as well which is why I have the timeframe set up, because I want to be as open and shizz as possible while atill being firm i guess. I don’t want to have extreme double standards like its impossible for double standards not to exist at least a little bit but I want to avoid a golden chest full of them I guess. 7: I don’t have a seven rn, this was an even number and it bothered me. Seven is nust my warning that I’m bittery writing this on mobile so formatting is not real but i tried my dandest to make this look like something people might actually mind. I dont want to be butty, i dont want to be awful, i dont want to start drama or have drama but that shizz comes around anyways so i might as well make my space as okay for me as i can cause im supposed to avoid stress so my brain doesnt almost explode again, like again i almost fluffing died i dont need ppl fake being my friend or anything, i want stuff to be real and clear. I want to be happy to be on here again and have fun like i used to since my health is plummetting and I’m not allowed to go outside near plants by myself anymore because i welt up. I have plants outside my work place and im surrounded by chemicals all day long I’m welted from here to new york constantly and never comfortable in my own skin because of it and constantly see people online acting like these actual real problems are pretentious because ‘its an excuse’ when, im a fluffing sagittarius, do you know how much i want to magically be a millionaire so i can pay for friends and my own medical stuff and go on traveling and adventures, be outside probably not camping bc as a pagan i know thats a death sentence but like be outside, lay on grass, go back to swimming because i used to swim competitively and due to health reasons i can barely even go in a pool anymore because theres too much sunlight which, bit plot twist i know, im fluffing allergic to vitamin D and the rays of the sun, so go figure, attempts to be healthy kill me more, i also cant eat most plants and am constantly dying from just eating food, they dont know whats wrong with me. i cant fix it by going ve/gan for a month inf act i tried and it almost made my heart stop thanks society. These arent excuses these are the lives of disabled and diseased and to a lesser but still very real point, ethnic lives every fluffing day. This is real shit and its murder and online and gaming? It may be all I have soon since I can’t just go out and make new friends cause, again, I’d fluffing die. I get sick going to the mall or the movie theater, I miss theme parks so much but have to minimize it to weeks i dont have work so i dont get fired for having a welt while working in the beauty industry. I may have to get a degree online and change my field entirely because of my illness that nobody understands. People even make fun of it constantly online and I wish I could just drop online entirely because of how unbelievably ableist the entirety of the world is, i wish i could drop humans in general for their ableism, but i cant. I don’t have choices in most cases, but throwing away people who maybe purposefully maybe unintentionally thats why i’m giving you this warning and will be repeating this warning for awhile, this is where i have choice. I have to use what little choice I have in life while I can since everytime i go to movies or a concert or a theme park i almost die because of not having an immune system that functions or being in certain air qualities pr being near plants or unclean people, I may not have much time and I gotta do whats best for what little mental health I have, and if that means dropping people i care about and really want to write with and do things with but who ignore me then, i guess so be it.

[mistymark]

the one with the stagehand // m.k.l

mark lee x reader // theatre au // 1.4k // masterlist

summary; in which mark really wants to impress y/n but singing is not the way to go apparently

warnings; nope this is a Pure piece // no real plot

requested; nope but I havent posted in ages so :// here

notes; sorry for not posting in forever !! but here is my third mark post of the night so hopefully y'all will forgive me

mark has been talking about auditioning for the next production for a while

it may or may not be because you are the director’s assistant

the dreamies laugh but still encourage him to go for it, sure he’ll fail and/or embarrass himself

and that would be fucking hilarious

so mark goes and picks up a script from the actual director and practices in their dorm at all times of the day

after hearing the script three times, hyuck starts quoting it, and has learnt more than mark

hyuck starts teasing mark that he’ll go against him for the lead

after standing on the kitchen table in the middle of the living room and belting the lyrics to the audition song to everyone at breakfast (and surprisingly getting a lot of compliments for it), hyuck decides to audition 

tensions run high as both hyuck and mark start practicing

to spite mark, hyuck asks you to run lines with him

mark retalliates by telling the director that hyuck wants to be the love interest instead of the lead

(jisung asks you if he can join the stage crew - of course, you said yes)

chenle asks shortly after

you think its really sweet that they want to support the theatre students but really theyre both there to see jaemin and mark crash and burn during auditions

on audition day, both mark and hyuck audition for the lead role

they havent spoken in a week

(markhyuck summer fight of 2017 y'all)

you sit with the director and judge them

you smile when hyuck walks on stage, knowing how hard he’s worked

mark is kinda really annoyed, scowling as he watches hyuck “butcher” the audition song

ur really surprised when mark rocks up on stage

because ”im really more of a rapper dude cmon”

but nonetheless he did

and you were ????? shocked??? he was Great

but when he saw ur face

he had the most SMUG grin

and u were instantly like >_>>>>

anyways

once auditions were over

they both stomp out of the theatre, refusing to speak

the cast list is posted two days later, and they both race to find out who got the role. both of them physically deflate when they see the name.

JENO?! 

they’RE BOTH Y E L L I N G

loud bois

jeno walks down the hall calmly, just checking if he actually got the role

he’s very startled when he sees he’s got the lead

mark and hyuck demand answers, and finally speak to one another again (that is before mark points out hyuck got the lead as jeno’s love interest) 

hyuck is s p u t t e r i n g

“I didn’t even audition for that role!!!”

he’s very confused, before he sees that mark’s name isn’t even on the list

smugly, hyuck points this out

sticking his tongue out at mark

until jeno’s like

yo wait mark’s name is here

mark’s name is flagged as “lighting and tech, to report to y/n l/n”

mark is honestly more rapt with that than he would have been if he’d been given the lead

during practices, mark mucks around with the lights, mostly on purpose, partly because he has no idea what he’s doing, just so you have to go over the lights with him AGAIN

chenle is mostly unseen during rehearsals, but he is heard because he keeps dropping props and bumping into sets

they all hear jeno’s voice for the first time, and realise he was probably a better lead than both mark or hyuck

though hyuck is adamant it should've been him

“the director just has it out for me I swear!!! he didnt like me at all last year”

“no one did” - renjun, 2k19

you hang out in the lighting box most of the time, because that’s the only place kun can’t find you and ask you a million more questions about his sets and costumes

mark loves it, he jokes and makes you laugh, until he misses his queue for a light or something and you dont talk to him for half an hour so he can focus

hyuck, at first, refuses to play the love interest the way its written, swaggering around the stage and saying things like “this is ridiculous” after all of his lines

after a few practices, he gets really into it, and doesnt even need his script, he’s spent most of his afternoons memorising all of his lines and stage directions

one practice, mark is not needed with the lights, because they’re just doing a props and set run-through with the full cast, so you ask if you can practice some of the makeup on him

mark, of course, says yes.

you blabber on about running the production, and how the director does LITERALLY NOTHING since the auditions, and just sits there while you do everything else

and how the hair and makeup girls were absent and barely ever showed up, and how you had to practically beg Jaemin to help out on the night (the agreement was; he wouldn’t have to attend any rehearsals other than the dress rehearsal, and of course, the nights of the performance)

as he doesnt have a lot of experience with makeup, youve given him the easy tasks

but it still means you have to learn how to do stage makeup

all mark can think about is how close you are to him

after a pause, you, as if for the first time, notice how sharp his jawline actually is 

and for a while, thats all you can think about

“thinking about me?” mark does one of those little half-smiles that bothered you (but you totally still thought it was kind of cute)

“always” you rolled your eyes, your tone dripping sarcasm

you stepped back, biting the inside of you cheek to stop a smile creeping up on your face

“I think I’m done.”

“finally” mark lets his head roll back against the edge of the chair, messing up his hair, and then stands up to grab the mirror

at this point, you let out a laugh, and mark furiously turns around “YOU TURNED ME INTO A FISH?!” 

you grin, “a very CUTE fish, you’re Flounder!” 

you're very proud of yourself; the fact that mark could even tell he was a fish was a good sign

“WE’RE NOT EVEN DOING THE LITTLE MERMAID!” he starts to rub furiously at his face, trying to get the makeup off, but ends up looking like he’s just been beaten in a fist fight

you can barely contain your laughter, “aw come on, that took ages!!”

later that week, after a six hour rehearsal, the director asks mark to change the lighting filters on the stage, even though he could have done it during the rehearsal

but I mean its okay I guess bc he has to stay back

and

you're staying back too

so like

;)))))

hyuck and jeno are laughing about the kissing scene next week, it hasn’t quite dawned on them that THEYRE actually the ones kissing

Jisung is frantically trying to find the lighting filters, even though he already gave them to mark, and then leaves after being told by you that he was stressing you out

in the lighting and sound booth, you’re going through the script again, marking areas the cast needs to go over and adding stage directions

you hums the duet that hyuck and jeno had been singing earlier as you do it

mark, who is balancing on a ladder on the stage, trying to fit the new filters onto the lights, nearly jumps out of his skin as he hears the humming come through the speakers around the theatre, the microphone in the booth catching every note of your singing

he smiles but continues changing the light filters, not being able to stop himself from singing the other part of the duet

soon, he’s screaming the lyrics as loud as he can to try and drown out some of your off key humming

you’re laughing in the booth as he screws up his face, his glasses balancing on the tip of his nose as he tries to block his ears with one hand and adjust the stage lights with the other

“now I can see why you’re on stage crew” you smirk, leaning down to talk through the mic, “you’re a terrible singer”

“a terrible singer, maybe, but even I can detect how off key your humming was” he yells back, sticking his tongue out and momentarily losing his balance on the ladder

[lumiereswig]

Do you have any crossovers with/AUs inspired by "Moulin Rouge!"? I know there's a fics list page but my wifi is so stupid slow it never loads so I can never tell.

nope! srry

since u can’t load the fics page im gonna give it all to you right here boo

Lumiere discovers something new, post-curse: Matches

Plumette/Lumiere, pre-curse. Plumette growing up and Lumiere growing close. Lit By The Sun

Plumette/Lumiere, immediately after being cursed: Fire and Feathers

Lumiere meets the prince for the first time: A Showman Through and Through

Plumette/Lumiere as college kids: Modern AU that is not super great but eh i tried

plumiere in love: it’s right here for now (at least until I edit it and make it better)

here’s Scotland

“a maid that has a crush on Lumiere faking being Plumette and trying to seduce him”: hahaha this one still makes me laugh

abandoned ‘kidnapped’ fic—here

lumiere finding out plumette is pregnant: Here.

lumiere sees the baby for the first time:  Here. Aww.

“a one shot in which plumette and lumiere go on a romantic tryst about the castle in the days following their wedding 💕”:  poor cogsworth

Lumiere is the sexiest sandwich in the palace. Here.

Plumette gets sick, it’s really sad: Right over here, pal.

More plumiere falling in love here.

Tale as old as time, older than that guy, Beauty and Maurice.

garderenza backstory? here it is

So, like: what if Mulan showed up.

“can i please have a crack-shippy fic where everybody is in love with the wrong people.” Here.

figuring out how to be human again. here

lumiere/plumette body swap HERE.

“Movie night at the castle!” As you wish.

a bunch of other maids have a crush on lumiere and try to get his attention: a short fic about trapezes

“A group of poor motherless ducklings imprint on Plumette” QUACK QUACK.

“please expand on that night when Plumette and co. got drunk because of Chapeau’s brandy + wine idea…” I don’t know why I like writing drunk!staff so much but i DO

1991, MEET 2017!

What happened to Gaston? The only Gaston fic I’ll ever write, probably. Here.

He is nineteen. She is younger. Lumiere tells Plumette a fairytale. Lit by the Moon.

“How about a fic were the staff play light as a feather stiff as a board with Plumette as the board.“ what the fuck even is this game i am still confused but on y va, i guess

ATTRACTIVE FARMER MAN AND HIS TWO WIVES

Plumette’s last seconds before the curse takes hold. Laughing Still.

Forgotten. [Ongoing]

Plumiere in the rain. Quick mini-fic. I’ve Seen Fire and Rain

“quick question : how often does lumiere get sick?” Here.

“What if the day the curse was broken the staff go batshit crazy over being able to eat again so they eat until their stomachs hurt. Then Chip starts a food fight by throwing a bread roll at Cogsworth.” THIS HAPPENED?

“A dragon comes to try and eat Plumette” Lumiere is a fire-bender

“crack fic where they somehow discover theyre fictional” this one was so fun to write, lumiere picks up ewan’s scottish accent and hates it

“What about a really cute fic were Lumiere and Plumette fake being sick so they don’t have to work and get to spend the whole day together” poor cogsworth part 2  

“Who gets the weird nightmares and who consoles the other at two in the morning because they’re in tears.” Me, because I just want my OTP to have nice things. Here.

”coffeeshop au but its still set in the 18th century“ BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ROUSSEAU, THO??            

“Can you write about Lumiere throwing Plumette a surprise birthday party for her?”  hey

“Chip wants to be maître d’ someday and follows Lumière around the castle as his little protégé” he’s going to be a better one than lumiere here

“don’t think about how painful the transformation must have been for the servants" do i ever think of anything else. [the answer is no]                

“*Whispers in your ear* AMNESIAC LUMIERE”   FUCK. HOW’D YOU KNOW I LOVE AMNESIA FICS?? FUCK. ultimately one of my favorite fics. holy fuck

“*Whispers in your ear* AMNESIAC LUMIERE” part TWO, motherfuckers

“Maybe one during the curse where they can suddenly hear the soundtrack around them?“ poor cadenza

“What if somebody after the curse was broken just out of nowhere started playing the Aria. I NEED FEELS” have you thought about horrible things yet today  

“The castle has to order in pizza” adam would like to register a complaint.

“Ewan McGregor and Lumiere switching universes" here

”A water balloon fight that gets out of hand?“ SPLASH.    

Les Miserabeauty and the Beast. Here.

“Can you do where everyone is turn into a baby” ANGST

STANFOU ROMANCE

“Nutcracker AU?!” aw fuck here

“I Never Really Knew You”—Cadenza & Adam

“He Must Loathe Me”—Chapeau & Plumette

“The Sound of Her Weeping”—Garderobe & Lumiere

“Her Little Satin Slippers”—Cogsworth & Plumette

“Home”—Mrs. Potts & Plumette

“Chapeau’s Charade”—Belle & Chapeau

“Lullaby”—Garderobe & Plumette

“Cake in the Sun”—Lumiere & Stanley

“Like You Used To”—Adam & Garderobe

“Why The Beast Eats Like….That”—Chip & The Beast

“The Boy’s Hand”—Chip & Adam

“The Pink Vest”—Garderobe & Cogsworth

“Draw”—Maurice & Adam

“They’ll Never Meet Again”—Plumette & Garderobe.

“Her Beautiful Maman”—Garderobe & Plumette, in the parents AU. Also: Lumiere & Frou-Frou. Woof.

“have Belle and Adam watch batb 2017?” sure.  

“I would love to see their reaction to singing in the rain! It’s my all time favorite movies!! ❤️❤️"  🌧🌧🌧🌧SAME 🌧🌧🌧🌧

“consider the coconut” MOANA CRACK.

“Plumiere goes to Paris?” Prequel fic! [oh là là]

“thy crackest crack of all - batb but adam/belle and lumiere/plumette swap places” lumiere turns into a dragon

“so. um. amnesiac adam?“ FUCK. FUCK.FUCK.              

”Mary Poppins would be practically perfect in every way!” Feed the fucking birds

“I should have told you a long time ago.” Plumette wakes up, after their first night together. Fits into the “Lit by the Sun” story.

“This is why we can’t have nice things/you don’t see me”—right after the curse, Plumiere cope with their new forms. Angst?

“Prove It/You’re Drunk.” Lumiere had….a night of it. Poor Cogsworth, the Continuing Saga

“great comet” fic: the candle in the mirror

“I’ve been waiting a long time.” finally a happy!cogsworth fic. Tic toc.

“Batb and Frozen crossover pls“—it’s garbage                          

The whole palace body swaps. here

“What happens when Lumiere’s family wakes up and realizes they have a son at the palace?” well SHIT ! there’s a prompt

“Chapeau having to relearn and figure out how to play the violin once he’s turned into a coatrack.” Shh.

a cuisinier fic! this fandom doesn’t deserve him

“Batb and Robin Hood crossover!!!!!” fuck

“how about the castle residents plays a giant game of live clue.” Adam would like to register another complaint

Lit by the Stars. Plumette and Lumiere meet for the first time.

“belle catches a cold?” i’m allergic to fluff

“how about amnesiac belle this time?” FUCK

w o w this one’s about plumette & belle sharing plague stories

“Can you do where Lumiere and Plumette babysit Chip while Mrs. Potts is working”  cute? ??

Wedding Cake: it’s huge

“lightly read fanfiction.” RIGHT?!

“You should let them watch the classic movie Beauty and the Beast” here

“ plumette x lumière modern spies AU” here.

“cogsworth angst” YOU GOT IT dude

“Hi, could you do some fluff and angst headcanons for Madame de Garderobe and Cadenza please xx” the honeymooners

“Shalalalalala my oh my, looks like the boy’s too shy, ain’t gonna kiss the girl” has lumiere ever been shy in his life ?

“Would you care to write a drabble of the castle redoing Mrs. and Mr. Potts’s wedding because Chip found his mother’s wedding dress and was bummed that he missed it?“ oh hey unrelated: i never dated a christmas ornament  

“imagine plumiere first met AFTER they were turned into objects” um: FUCK YES.

“Batb characters in the titanic” too soon, people. too soon.

“Plumiere prompt: A whole new world! new fantastic point of view. No one to tell us no. Or where to go. Or say we’re only dreaming.” ok    

“a touring theatre group comes to perform at the castle” this is more like a headcanon but it’s long as fuck so it ended up here              

“cogsworth discovers he can fly” this is so wrong, this is so right              

“Card Tricks”—Lumiere & Chip

“Coffee & Tea”—Lefou & Mrs. Potts

“Lion’s Mane”—Cuisiner & Plumette & Adam

“the characters read some of your fics and their reactions” o fuck. crack.

“Ok, but what about someone slipping Lumiere a love potion meant for Plumette??” kisses

Plumette stargazes; Lumiere dates someone else. Veronique

“ding dong we need more cogsworth- can we have something with him and mrs. potts bonding over all of their dumb kids” ding dong yes yes yes we do!

the villagers get cursed. a trash fic!!!![[[[ongoing]]]

Seating Arrangementsare! important! here.

“cogsworth sharing plumette’s first dance with her at her wedding, and…” I don’t dance.

poly garderenza/belle. i love this bullshit. i ship this

“Bonjour you wrote a fic about Luimere taking care of Plumette when she’s sick, can you write one about Plumette taking care of Lumiere? 💛💛” cough!

The First Untethered Hot Air Balloon Flight: oh, fuck.

garderenza content FEELS

“amnesiac belle?” COMPLETED, BITCHES. fucking ga w w d

“Can we have cogsworth headcanons?? Pretty please mon ami??” Dulce et decorum est.  

“Eclipse”—Lumiere & Chip

what if the servants came awake again, in modern days? Here

‘do you remember when we were human?’ Plumiere shit.

A history lesson w/Cogs and Lums. Beware the dust. Album.

 GARDERENZA HIGH SCHOOL AU !!!

“Woof”— Belle & Frou-Frou

“Fireworks”—Adam & Plumette

“Amnesiac Mrs. Potts?” Eh.

“a midsummer night’s dream au?” welcome to CRACK CITY [x]

“Plumette has a tragic, existential moment.” Pouf-pouf.

“a touring theatre group comes to perform at the castle. like some kind of magic, they can perform shows that don’t even exist yet” [x]

“I would ​ love if you wrote when Plumette and Lumiere came up with Be Our Guest” BE! OUR! GUEST

“The castle adopts a pet? but not like a cat or anything, like they get a pet komodo dragon or something” welcome to the zoo

garderenza’s glory [x]

“Flicker In, Flicker Out.” The curse takes its toll.

“Who would be into divination? the Supernatural? Spooky Shit™?” HEY THERE DEMONS, IT’S YA BOI.

“If each of the servants could write a book, what would they be about?” The Villeneuve Catalog of Literature, fresh off the presses.  [x]

“Cogsworth + Lumiere switch personalities?”  i fuckin love a good crack prompt. showgirls!

“Socks”—Pere Robert & Mrs. Potts

adam and belle meet as tiny kids

COLLEGE FACULTY AU FIC 

sad maurice fic: :)))))))))

“What do the servants do when they can’t sleep?” Shhhh.

Chip being in town when the curse strikes, here [ongoing!]

Belle gets used to the staff being, well.….human again. “New.”

“Have you ever done a role-swap where Belle was the princess and Adam was the boy from the village?“ CHIP. DON’T FUCK WITH THE TIME TRAVEL. Here.

The useless energy of haunted things. “Freaks of Furniture.” Thanks, JSTOR.

@batbobsession​ collab w/me called “One Moment”—their part is here, my part is there. The servants and the staff take a minute, right before the battle, to face what they’ve become.

“spooky prompt: What If the castle was haunted the year after belle breaks the spell…sadder prompt: What If the ghost was Adams mom…Worse prompt: or his father” THIS IS NOT THE FUN GHOST-HUNTING I ASKED FOR.

“Everyone says that Adam was under the spell ages, so what if the spell went on for 300+ years or whatever, and a woman hiking through the woods kind of went through what Maurice did with the tree being knocked over…” Fucking!!!! Granola bars!!!!!!!!!!!![x] [Ongoing.]  

How desperate I became. To erase. To unmake my mouth, my pulse. / To unlive. “The Writing-Desk.”

“So Very Different”—Cuisinier & Garderobe

“how would the staff and Belle and Adam react to some little kids from the village showing up trick-or-treating?“ Something like this, I imagine.

“Amnesiac Cadenza?” i do fucking love an amnesia ask

“During the curse, Adam begins to see ghostly apparitions of the servants’ human forms.” Dead men walking.

“Spooky prompt: A haunted house in Villeneuve.” i just want to talk to the demons!

“These Two Need More Love”—Chapeau & Cuisinier

“A piece inspired by the song, “A Shoulder to Cry On,” aka, ‘80S MUSIC FICS

“Adam, Belle + staff go to pick out/chop down their own Christmas tree……” Yule fic by me + other people! ho ho ho.

way down in hadestown

The fandom-spanning fic, involving Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Doctor Who, and Tulio and Miguel.

“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said.” Evermore. Thanks Ray Bradbury.

“idk how she got there but Garderobe rules the world.” ❤️

“Oh! How about a story or headcannons of Shane and Ryan doing a Buzzfeed Unsolved Video at the enchanted castle in BatB?” [wheeze] (a FAVE)

“Words”—Garderobe & LeFou.

“what if someone confused the servants with the royals, cuz they dress better than adam and belle?” This happens regularly.

“Pere Robert somehow comes across a Time Turner” ⏳tick-tock⌛️

“Crackfic prompt: Belle is messing around with magic books (AGAIN) and somehow summons dinosaurs.” that’s , uh, that’s chaos theory

plumiere SNUGGLING FOR WARMTH TROPE????

“The BATB characters stumble into The Great Comet” EVERYBODY RAISE A GLASS

“So I’m reading the Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater…..” Here.

“Please give me more singing hair brush!” the fucking hairbrush. Here.

“Please can I have a bunch of adorable hcs where Garderenza are prepping Bassette for their first concert with her singing in it too” that is a hairbrush

arrrrGGHHHH, mateys, that thar be a magical pirates fic, shiver me timbers

“lumiere gets a sunburn” ouCh

“for adelle: maybe the Official Proposal?” Here.

“ what if. an amnesia fic. where they. ALL. Got. A m n e s I a“ —MY BRAND~

“Headcanons for Belle and Adam being the world’s greatest grandparents?” also known as “be a bear, grandpa!”

“Garderenza prompt: ‘You saved my life!’” oh how divine

belle keeps playing with magic and getting everybody fucked

this collab fic with @theteaisaddictive​ is done! “agathe gets amnesia”

“Whisky and Red Wine”—Lumiere and Belle have a night in.

“AU idea: As belle is leaving the second time, something stops her and she turns and whispers ‘I love you’ before running off.” Can you say “two idiots”?

“ have you ever done any asks about what you think maurice/belle’s mum’s life was like before they had belle???” I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR THE MAURICE SAD!FICS [x]

“something sweet with adam and the plumiere child.” sweet as stolen breakfasts.

“Belle messing with magic again finds one that puts the universe into reverse” this one is straight crack i hope you like it

chip is the middle man for some major lumiworth action

“A traveller stops by for directions […] by coincidence, he’s one of Belle’s *very favorite* authors.” Wow I wonder if the world’s biggest book nerd is going to handle this in a responsible manner [x]

“a man attending a ball at the palace spots plumette, and falls in love with her beauty. she receives an anonymous present of heart-shaped chocolates on her bedside the next day, and assuming they are a present from her dear lover, eats them without a thought. moments later…..” Not exactly this trope but uhhhh it’s a love potion fic babyyyyyyy

[jeremiahwasajoker]

5x02: Trespassers (A Review)

It’s that time again! I got to watch Trespassers on Thursday night. I know I said that I would be watching on Fridays, but I have convinced my parents to watch the night of, and they’re pretty okay with it! Anywho, tonight was episode two, and there were so many epic scenes, along with good laughs and memeable moments.  This season is my favorite by far, and it just started! At any rate, let’s start this review!

WARNING: This includes spoilers. If you have not seen the episode yet and want to avoid seeing any information about it, I would advise you to not look at this until you have done so. Without further ado, let’s get started!

First, I would like to say thank you to Barry Friedman. He was apart of the show’s post production team, and unfortunately passed away in August, when they were filming this episode. They made a title card for him at the very end, and his work was vital for the show to be aired. Rest in Peace. 

Also, shoutout to the composers and musicians that make the music on this show. Wow. The score is incredible! I think I remember hearing an extended version of the theme song this episode, and it blew me a way. As a music fanatic myself, it really added to the mood and atmosphere of the episode, which really elevated it even more. Wonderful job!

Next, I would like to review what I thought about some of the arcs of major characters and scenes that were incredible throughout Trespassers. They are in no particular order! Here we go!

Bruce and Ivy

IVYYYYYYYY! Peyton List is my favorite interpretation of Poison Ivy. She really encapsulates the character from the comics in the perfect way, and her design is beautiful! I like how Bruce acted throughout these scenes as he was determined as ever to get whatever it was that Selina needed in order to get better. He wasn’t going to play any games with her and when she turned on him, he was ready to fight. I will say, Bruce has become a good liar, too, as we see that he easily spit out the statement about his fake little brother. All in all, the two had a lot of chemistry together, and I just loved the scenes they shared together.

“Here he comes, Gotham...”

Erin Richards is really killing it this season. This scene was, once again, chill inducing. I feel like the quote that she said about Jim being Gotham’s most hated son will probably end up being one of the most iconic of the season. Whenever Babs yells, you can really hear the pain and utter anger in her voice, and something about this just leaves me in awe of Erin’s magnificent acting ability. Also, it is very interesting that she would help Jim out after everything. I know she said that she did so he could get killed, but we see towards the end of the episode that she genuinely wants to help. I can’t wait to see more of Barbara this season! 

Harvey’s Quick Quips

First of all, I would just like to say that this picture looks like it’s supposed to be for some kind of sit-com. Anyway, Harvey was so funny this episode! I think that he’s always the one to lighten a darker situation, and he really adds humor to the scenes he’s in. Some my favorite quotes this episode were “It's a freaking arrow, Jim! IT'S A FREAKING. ARROW!" , “Jim, I don’t feel so good.” (As someone who watched Infinity War and was utterly destroyed by Spider-Man dissolving, I’m glad it was turned into a meme. I know it probably wasn’t supposed to be referencing that, but still.), and “The Halloween shop was out of gas masks, so it was either this or sexy nurse.” Him dealing with Mother was also hilarious. Gotta love Bullock.

Mother and Orphan

This exact shot of Mother scared the living daylights out of me. I love that there was a sort of horror movie feeling to this episode, I’m not the biggest fan of those, but there was such a huge feeling of suspense in this episode, and it was amazing! Her just lurking around, and Orphan acting the way he was really did succeed in creeping me out. Those lights that knock you out were interesting, and it makes me wonder if the boy was really telling the truth about that or not. I’m glad that we got context to that random shot of teeth, as I was really confused about that when it was in the trailer. I’m so glad they introduced these two villains this season!

“I feel better...even better than before, in fact.”

I’m really glad that Selina is back to normal now. I did get scared when she was convulsing, and Bruce’s reaction really does show how much he truly cares about her. If she had died, I know he would never had forgiven himself. The fact that she’s happy again also relieves me, because seeing her in so much pain beforehand really hurt. When her eyes were glowing like a cat’s, I really liked the symbolism of the scene, as she was truly turning into Cat Woman. If she’s a metahuman or not is up for debate, but I’m not opposed to the idea! I’ll get into that a little more further down the line.

Since there were too many scenes for me to have the time to cover, I’ll have some honorable mentions! Ed peeing (face it, it was unexpected and hilarious), Jim and company versus the gangs, and the soothsayers.

Now is the time for a few questions I have about the latest episode!

Is Selina a Metahuman? I’m really not sure. I know people have been commenting about this, and if she is, I honestly don’t mind. It could be symbolism with the way her eyes turned into cat’s, but if it was the medicine really working and doing that, it’s interesting how her inner nature that is being released is that of a cat. I know some people don’t like the idea of this, but I think it would be cool!

How will Jeremiah obtain the tunnel the Soothsayers were in? At first, before we were introduced to these men, I thought that maybe they worked for Jeremiah. However, their motives told me otherwise. They want to get to the mainland, and he wouldn’t want that. I think that maybe he finds the place and hires some guys to make a maze under Gotham? Another thing that confuses me is that I thought that’s where his hideout was. Where is he hiding? Where’s his latest place of residence? I’m sure we’ll find out in the future.

If I had to sum up the episode with one Jeremiah Valeska mood, it would be:

Another entertaining and hilarious episode of Gotham! I loved it!

I know some people thought this episode was boring, but I personally felt that it was needed in order to set up plots and to develop the rest of the story line this season. From Trespassers and Year Zero, I can tell that this season is going to be my favorite by the time it’s complete. I can’t believe we have ten episodes of Gotham left!

Thank you for reading this! I hope you all had a wonderful time watching, too! I think I’m going to do one of these for each one that comes out. I’m so excited for the rest of the season! I hope you enjoyed!

[emetkoto]

anyway heres that velaw answer but now (hopefully) under a readmore

General:

  Rate the Ship -      Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs | Its MY ship and i WILL go down with it

  How long will they last? - listen i try not to think about how young law is (inevitably) gonna die but yknow as long as he’s got left theyre soulmates todd

  How quickly did/will they fall in love? - not even gonna lie it was pretty quick on veras end bc yknow she hasnt had a lot of human contact in her life so developing a crush on the first person to show her real kindness in 10 years isnt too much of a surprise but its more than that she just keeps falling and falling and before anyone knows it you have to pry her off him with a crowbar and stitch her mouth shut to stop her from loudly announcing how much she loves him.......not that he minds

bUT on laws side im honestly kinda attached to the idea of him initially being like “its ok if we stay like this but i cant respond to your confession right now theres just too much going on and id rather wait until we’re all not constantly about to die if thats ok” and vera being totally ok with that bc if its important to him its important to her

  How was their first kiss? - honestly this can go two ways: cute or angsty but either way its almost definitely vera initiating and its definitely super sudden

Wedding:

  Who proposed? - neither of them ever really thought about a wedding per say it was just kind of law being like “stay by my side forever” and vera being like “cool” but ofc the other heart pirates overheard that and would NOT let them get away without making it a big deal

  Who is the best man/men? - law had three (3) best men and ill give you some hints:

one was a polar bear

none of them were luffy despite his whining and begging

two of them wore sick shades

  Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - nami, robin, and ikkaku! vera tried to talk bepo into being one of her bridesmaids too bc she thinks hes neat but in the end they managed to get her to drop that   Who did the most planning? - honestly it was 99% the other heart pirates but vera was definitely very involved once stuff really got going   Who stressed the most? - law bc he knew the strawhats would show up and he knew he had to figure out a way to keep them from ruining everything (see my post about the lawlu wedding for ideas on how to contain luffy)    How fancy was the ceremony? -    Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 it was definitely a pirate wedding but it was a damn good one | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.    Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - luffy (he was only half not invited bc law didnt invite him but vera did so he got the equivalent of schrodingers wedding invite) and caesar clown (law didnt think it was necessary to put him on the blacklist since what were the chances he’d even find out about this but it was important to vera so he did it anyway)

before you ask: of course HE wasnt invited. obviously. he got a dark invite. meaning he was invited to be on the exact opposite side of the world from where the wedding was happening. being off the planet entirely was also an option

Sex:

i can count my sexual experiences on one hand so

  Who is on top? - depends on who starts it really, both are pretty happy either way....ive said it before and ill say it again: law has taken the strap and he WILL do it again   Who is the one to instigate things? - its a pretty equal split but definitely leans more towards law   How healthy is their sex life? -    Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now    How kinky are they? -    Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 i have shared my thoughts on laws interest in being called ‘doctor’ during so yknow roleplay is definitely on the surgical table and im sure with a power like laws im sure things can get weirder | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - again i can count my sexual experiences on one hand so all i can say is law seems like a strong man with a lot of stamina but vera isnt incredibly fit so yknow, average?   Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - yea law always makes sure its as good for vera as it is for him and vice versa    How rough are they in bed? -    Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time depends on the mood that day really | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.    How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -    No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | You’ll have to pry them apart with a crowbar

Children:

  How many children will they have naturally? - 2! Jade and Axel!

   ive talked about them before but yknow ill take any excuse to remind ppl of them...esp jade i love her and ugh i miss drawing

  How many children will they adopt? - none most likely   Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - dont have to get stuck with diapers if you can just shambles them off   Who is the stricter parent? - it’s law definitely law he wants to make absolutely sure his kids dont turn out like him but unfortunately both of them still do    Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - vera, law never says anything bc every time he tries jade reminds him of something stupid and/or dangerous he did in the past and hes like “yeah thats fair i have no room to talk theyre all yours vera-ya”   Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - vera!   Who is the more loved parent? - jade likes vera more and axel definitely prefers law but its not like they dislike the other parent   Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - both bc vera will MAKE law go   Who cried the most at graduation? - oh definitely vera   Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - law. law. law. law.  law. law. l

Cooking:

  Who does the most cooking? - bold of you to assume the heart pirates would let either of them lift a finger when it comes to cooking   Who is the most picky in their food choice? - vera is a pescitarian and law cant have gluten so id say theyre both disasters and hard to cook for especially when youre cooking for both of them at once.......god help sanji while planning the menu for their wedding   Who does the grocery shopping? - see the first answer in this category   How often do they bake desserts? - once vera discovers baking she does not stop. ever.   Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - i mean if you mean like, animal meat then vera is a salad eater but if its like fish then she prefers that...law just doesnt care as long as its gluten free and not anyhting resembling bread   Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - they both take cooking lessons from sanji to try and surprise the other but then they both walk into the kitchen intending to cook for the other and they end up cooking together :weary: im weak   Who is more likely to suggest going out? - law likes when life is easy so he’ll never turn down the opportunity to just sit back and wait for someone to serve him food   Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - l a w if theres one thing he learned from his stupid bird dad its how to set a fire when you dont mean to

Chores:

listen life is easy when youre law cleaning and chores in general just arent an issue

Misc:

  Who takes the longer showers/baths? - vera forgets the side effects of devilfruits sometimes so she’ll run a bath thats slightly too deep and be stuck in the tub for a while.......meanwhile law casually broods in the shower for hours at a time like the emo kid he is   Who takes the dog out for a walk? - vera, she loves running with dogs    How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - law isnt big on holidays but the rest of his crew is and their excitement rubs off on vera so she always drags him into it   What are their goals for the relationship? - overcome their trauma together and help each other grow   Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - LAW the mans sleep schedule is worse than mine   Who plays the most pranks? - vera...shes terrible at it and he can usually see it coming from a mile a way but sometimes he plays along bc every time she laughs its like watching a star being born and how could he pass that up

[crazy-hand-official]

on hole

ok so this posts been a long time a comin’ but i finally feel like im drunk enough to talk about (and never shut the fuck up about) one of my favorite bands... Hole

hole’s music has meant a lot to me since i picked up Live Through This at some boring ass used cd store that also happened to sell erotic fantasy novels about good fathers. but anyway. holes music is for women with bad fathers. women who are kind of fucked up and angry about it, too. women who have trauma and scars and are kinda gross. women who were wronged but somehow by the grace of god empowered in the face of their horrible experiences. 

or at least it feels like that, dont it?

that was the main appeal of hole to me, anyway. i fell in love with this album around the second or third listen through. i was like, damn, shes pissed. it was so refreshing to hear a woman just screaming out her frustrations. how cathartic must it have been to be able to not only get it out, but also be taken somewhat seriously? of course hole never got the recognition they deserved. im of the unpopular opinion that they were waayyyy better than nirvana. without sounding kinda sappy... you know what fuck it im not apologizing to any of u. hole totally made me embrace womanhood. it influenced my own, much beloved way to just exist. 

but also i guess i just really love tunes. 

ps im not here for the courtney killed kurt debate lmfao!!

ok so heres the part where i write my onions about their four studio albums 

Pretty On the Inside

their first album and admittedly, my least favorite (that doesnt say much because i still really enjoy it). its sound is much more abrasive. love employs her most guttural screams in this one, but ill get to that. to its credit, its the most experimental but many interpret it as amateur guitar screeches and song bits just hashed together. and maybe theyre right! but what band doesnt have that not-quite-there-yet first album? its an unrefined, beautiful mess. A song title or two is spelled wrong. Garbadge man is one that comes to mind. and for some reason, its just... fitting. its an artistic mistake left in and its so dumb but thats the fun in it! thats the punk in it! they dont give a fuck so why should you? this album is a messy bitch. 

track im gonna nut about: mrs. jones

this song is apparently about a back alley abortion, and its just as brutal. love is screaming, just guttural sounds and expletives and nauseating lyrics. when i first heard it, i was absolutely entranced in the atrocity of it all. shes sweating, panting. i will follow you down the sick drain

other favorite tracks: teenage whore, good sister bad sister, pretty on the inside

Live Through This

their most popular album also happens to be my favorite! the start of it all...

i havent shut up about this album since day one because i just like it so much! she refines her skills and just comes out with a successful album that ties an array of horrible themes and wraps them up in a pretty pink bow. its soft aesthetic covers the dark, sickening themes that make the album. rape, anorexia, self harm, self hatred, violence, abuse... the list goes on. someone i one knew asked me why women with bipolar disorder and bpd love hole so much and i had to bite my tongue but to be brutally honest we probably like it because love had the nuts to scream about taboo themes that are so hurtfully common in our lives. just like how the depressed rally behind the smiths. oh that and the musics awesome. but anyway, the cover is a beauty queen the moment shes crowned. its supposed to represent someone who has fought, clawed, and fucked her way to the top. but look! shes the queen! shes the beauty queen! everyone will finally love her and treat her with respect! and all she had to do was sell her soul. all she had to do was get abused over and over to the point of breakdown. but she made it, didnt she? i mean, look how pretty the crown is!

favorite track im not gonna shut up about: i think i would die

im gonna be super lazy and just copy and paste what i wrote up one time when i talked about this song before:

wait nevermind i cant search for my post through my tag because tumblr is broken. something about breastmilk? ill update once i find it lmao. 

other favorite tracks: violet, softer softest, miss world

Celebrity Skin 

i dont have as many onions on this one. supposedly, love didnt want this album to become ‘the widow album’, but theres a song or two about kurt’s death snuck in there. this albums loud, but not nearly as angry as the first two. in fact, when shes not singing catchy pop tunes about how jaded she is, shes being sincere and heartfelt. all in all, its a fantastic album and my second favorite that hole has to offer. 

favorite track of the album: heaven tonight

ive heard two stories about what this songs supposedly about. on one hand, people say its about two lovers. the girl wants to lose her virginity to the guy, so she drives (recklessly) to his house and dies in an accident. she’ll never grow old, she’ll go to heaven tonight. on the other hand, i heard that love just wanted a fun song to sing to her daughter, frances bean. either way, it makes me want to dance. so idk if its about teenagers fucking or about a little girl who just needed a song, but its cool.

other favorite tracks: awful, celebrity skin, reasons to be beautiful

Nobody’s Daughter

years later, hole released their final album. when i first heard it, i was disappointed. the first track was great, but then.... i noticed her voice had deteriorated significantly due to her smoking and other vocal abuse. and i thought, damn, i really wish she released this when she was younger. she sounds normal when she screams, but i guess to compensate when singing softer parts, she does this kind of weird weird thing when enunciating that... ok i cant pinpoint or describe what exactly it is but it kinda sucks. ‘honey’ is the only hole song that i dont like very much, and its the best song to use as an example when trying to explain how her voice got all fucked. now, we cant all be bowie (whose singing voice only got better after years of smoking). but still. 

anyways, i listened to the album again, and i mean really listened to it. and actually! the smoker voice is the beauty of it! its a woman who is past jaded and past giving fucks about anyone or anything. its songs from a woman of experience. and she still sounds badass! her voice is so rough, she sounds like she could still fuck anyone up. its exciting. 

favorite track to get all sappy about: letter to god

i really found an appreciation for this song. this is a song about someone who cant be saved. and isnt that fucked up? youre so bad, so hated by all of those around you, but no one can hate you as much as yourself. and you try everything to pick yourself up but just nothing works. and everyone has their two cents in what they think will help you. but youve tried every med in the book and youve tried this and that and the other thing, and you come to the conclusion that you just cant be saved. youre drowning. so what do you do? you turn to god, a supernatural all-mighty being. but shit, i hope he can help you. because if he doesnt, fucking nothing ever will. so go write him that letter.

  i never wanted to be the person you see

other favorite tracks: nobodys daughter, skinny little bitch

and thats what i have to say about that!

[dreammutual-remade]

high school!donghyuck

request: idk if you’re taking reqs but i really like ur highscool aus so if u want to write one abt hyuck ill be :^))))))) - anonymous

word count: 5.1k

a/n: oof its been awhile unnies!!!! ive had exams for the past two weeks and I still have exams now so im sorry for not posting anything but reblogs with headassery in the tags!!! we are continuing the high school series n renjun is next!! since I got like 3 requests for him !!!!! hhehhehehheheh its gonna b cute <3 anyways hope u enjoy this I love my lil duckie baby

masterlist

mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung

big oof i’m gonna cry while writing this

i’m running out of creative ways to say let’s dive in

let us take the plunge

okay!!!!!!!!!! so you’ve been an editor/writer for the school paper for pretty much all of your high school career

you’re not super well known though because you don’t try to take any credit for anything and always sign your pieces like “- the daily newspaper team” or smth 

anywhom you’ve always loved writing about the stuff around you or making up little short stories

one of your hobbies is just going people watching and trying to write down a brief description of people you see and what you think they’re on the way to do

you’ve befriended the baristas at your favorite spot, lucas and mark, and they always beg to read them but you never let them because mark is too nice to tell you it’s shit and lucas is too dumb to at least say it nicely

you’ve got at least 6 notebooks FULL of these little stories but you’ve never really ? showed anyone because wow showing others your work is Scary

criticism ???/$&/&:&:&:

it’s midway through the first semester of the school year and you’ve been super busy since it’s football season and you gotta write about all the games

and you haven’t had much time to write your cute little stories for yourself and you miss it a lot :/

this weekend though the chance of rain is SUPER high so the football game is cancelled and you have plenty of time to yourself !! :D

there is, a setback tho

THUNDER!!!!! IS SO SCARY !!!!!!

u fckin softie

you decide to tough it out though and get suited up in some polka dot rain boots and a rain jacket and set off to find somewhere to chill

as you’re walking to the nearest lil greenhouse/cafe thing it starts raining ,, ,,, hARDER

when you started it wasn’t rlly raining it was just like that weird tension in the air right before the air pressure drops and it starts to rain and you were already on edge OOF

but then it’s raining so you clutch your notebook to your chest and dash

usain bolt had nothing on you girly you were ZOOM ZOOM

broom broom- doyoung

unfortunately you don’t make it though because with you head down to keep the rain out of your eyes you run RIGHT into someone’s CHEST !!!!!!

hehe u know i’m a sucker for these god damn TROPES

your notebook goes flying and and the arms attached to the Chest That Caused Your Grief come up to catch you by the arms

“oh gOD sorry are you okay ??? i wasn’t looking and i was trying to keep my journal dr- MY JOURNALSDJDDD”

you fling yourself out of this boys arms and pick up your soaking wet journal sadly

:((((((( you had so many stories in there wtf

“oh shit i’m sorry do you uh want me to buy you another one ???”

“no that’s okay it wasn’t your fault :( and it’s just a journal i’m only sad because all my stories are gone :(((((“

you finally look up from your Ruined journal to see , the prettiest boy

you can’t tell for sure cause his hair is soaking wet but it’s a bright red that looks a bit faded and his skin is tanned and golden like HONEY OOF

he meets your eyes and awkwardly smiles and he looks so GUILTY AW

“no really it’s fine don’t feel bad!!”

“okay but i feel bad what can i do to make it up to you?”

“hMMM you could come help me think of wacky stories about people who walk past”

“well if you INSIST m’lady”

“aw, never mind”

“IM JUST KIDDING SJDJJD”

so in the pouring rain you both walk to cafe and find a little corner to people-watch in

on the way there he tells you his name is donghyuck but his friends call him hyuck

“dude that’s the sound goofy makes when he laughs your friends are terrible”

“oh my god i don’t even think they know what they’re saying HsjdjHEHHS”

after a couple minutes of bad goofy impressions you decide to call him duckie instead because ,,,, GARSH MICKEY 🤠🤠🤠

also because it’s cute

you didn’t hear this from me but he uwued so hard rip his street cred with the Boys

anyways right before you settle in you’re like hey uh did you have somewhere to be like weren’t you heading places

and he was like nah i like the rain it’s nice to just walk around feels GOOD

your eyes widen so big and he snorts because what’s so ridiculous about that

and you’re like uh UH NO NOPE NO SIR I DONT FUCK WITH DEMONS

your dramatic ass tries to get up and LEAVE but he grabs your wrist and is like noooo we haven’t even written any stories yet why do you hate rain so much ??

you explain how thunder is the work of the devil and that lightning could strike you down where you stand at any moment and storms are EVIL

he chuckles and side eyes you

“aW you big wimp you’re afraid of thunderstorms aren’t you”

“yES. like any sane person would be”

“you know a lot of people actually like storms”

“like i said, SANE people do not”

and then you change the subject right quick because your face is getting RED with embarrassment

you n donghyuck spend like 2 hours just sitting in the corner and writing little scenarios on napkins

“oh shit that girl over there with the french braids is TOTALLY gonna marry hipster beanie guy in two years. mark my words”

“idk y/n she lowkey has the hots for the barista”

“ ew you mean mark??”

“yeah. now THAT man is a work of art”

MARKHYUCK RISE

“god what is wrong with you maybe you should buy me another book”

“too late now we’re FRIENDS and i don’t owe you ANYTHING”

“being friends doesn’t work like that at all but, okay”

at the end of the day you’ve got a stack of napkins with scribbled notes on them

(one of them has donghyuck’s number on it skdkkfjd)

he leaves you with a bright smile and you’re in awe this boy is so golden and lovely

oof and when you were still in the cafe his hair had dried to the unnatural red color that he ? somehow made look good ugh not fAIR

and it was a lil curly and fluffy and looked very soft :(((((

as you walk home you drift along the sidewalk with a stupid smile on your face wow please get a little less obvious hunty

when you get home the sun is setting and the rain has cleared and you are so Happy that was the best day !!!

you weren’t even scared of the thunder because whenever the sky would fckin CRACK OPEN hyuck would subtly try to keep your attention and distract you with questions

the sky: AAAAAAAAAAA

duckie: oH Hey uhhh so hOW do you even come up these stories ?):$:$ theyre so good

such a sweet boy uwu

when you get home your mom eyes you suspiciously as you drift down the hall towards your room but doesn’t comment

she didn’t need to though because you immediately return and tell her everything !!!

she encourages you to befriend him at school and see where it goes from there ;))) or just TEXT HIM

so you do

both of those things !!!

you: hey!! it’s y/n btw

duckie: hey! u make it home alive without the sky cracking open and killing u

you: stOP MAKING FUN OF ME

you send him memes and he sends , even better ones back this boy is Husband Material

the next couple weeks you realize that hyuck is actually in like a lot of your classes

and he’s like yeah i don’t blame you for not noticing since your nose is always in one of those Damn Journals

can’t believe u smh

anywhom

you start actually interacting with people in class

and by people i mean donghyuck and any of his friends who happen to be there

you literally get thrown into their friendgroup like one day you know donghyuck and have vaguely heard of jeno since he’s on the soccer team

and then the next you’re a part of the group message and jaemin begs for your math homework during lunch ????

“jaemin just dO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK FOR ONCE ???”

“ugh but i don’t know how”

“hey you know what maybe if you didn’t sleep in class you WOULD”

“IM TIRED GOD DAMN IT”

this is usually when duckie interjects with

“hey now girls, you’re both smart <3”

“i know im smart but , jaemin , i don’t know about him 😔😔”

poor jaemin leave him alone :(

jisung is , extREMELY awkward around you because he’s a Baby Freshman and you’re a Female Senior hsjdjf it’s so cute

and chenle is the complete opposite he IMMEDIATELY latches onto you and is always like

“y/n !!!! wanna watch this video of me singing and playing the piano when i was thirteen on live national television !!!!”

“y/N !!!!!!! can you drive me n jisung to get ice cream plEASE !!! we won’t even play PSY this time”

“okay,,,,, pinky promise?”

his pinky hooks around yours at an incredible speed as he jumps up and down with excitement

“pinky promise !!!!!!!!!!”

hyuck overhears and insists upon coming with for , unknown reasons

renjun and jeno keep snickering to each other across the lunch table too uGH

sneaky bastards !

after school you wait in the parking lot for the Babies with hyuck who looks rather flushed considering his skin is pretty tan and it takes a lot for him to visibly blush ??

“hey duckie boy you good?”

“haha yEAH uh just wondering where the boys are hhhh”

“oh yeah ! they should’ve been here like 10 mins ago”

your phone buzzes in your pocket and you go to check it to see a text in the group message

lele: hey y/n~ me n jisung can’t come we totally forgot we joined a frisbee team and there’s practice today !!!

blueberry: yeah ! have fun w/ hyuckie tho

moominluvr96: sjdjd i’m so proud of them

jenomunomunomu: absolute legends have fun at ur frisbee practice my sons

you: 🅱️ro i wanted to go home and SLEEP

blueberry: sorry ! xoxo :*

duckie: chenle my son ? how could you 🅱️etray me this way???

you: ur dead to me

you: literally what’s a chenle ?? sounds like a poisonous fruit

lele: NO IM SORRY

but tbh you’re just being Silly you don’t mind just going with Sunshine Boy

hyuck has only gotten redder as the texting went on though what’s his deal 0.0

you agree to take his car !

actually you insist because you don’t wanna drive but, let’s say you agreed

you find out that hyuck exclusively listens to hipster bands and the occasional troye sivan song because we love a gay legend

actually his music taste is ALL OVER THE PLACE but we r still boppin ladies

you roll the windows down even tho it’s Chilly and let your hand float in the breeze until your fingers start getting numb and you pull your hand back in and roll up the window

okay maybe that was a Bad Idea your fingers almost hurt they’re so cold and you’re rubbing the feeling back into them when hyuck clears his throat

you look up at him and he tilts his chin toward the hand he stretched toward you

you’re confused bc like ? i don’t have anything to give u duckie

he sighs anxiously

“just. give me your hand. mine are warm because i didn’t try to be cool and stick my hand out the window like this is a teen coming of age movie”

“have you ever just been nice and not followed it up with a weirdly specific insult”

“nope. now gimme”

you cautiously placed your hand in his and felt heat bloom all over your cheeks and trail up to your ears and down your neck

he gulps and interlocks your fingers and tucks them in the pocket of his hoodie

you have to lean against the console in between you a little so that your arm isn’t strained but it’s,,,,, Warm and Nice

you’re quick to continue the conversation like normal but your voice sometimes goes in and out since he is subconsciously rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand or tapping his fingers against yours

when you arrive you awkwardly pull your hand from his grip to get out of the car and he cringes a lil :(

you decide to be bold for once in your life and run around the car to catch up with him and shove your other hand into his

“this one’s cold too”

he ducks his head and smiles but gives your hand a lil squeeze :3 uwu

eventually though you do have to let go and enjoy your ice cream

you just make small talk with him about the newspaper and whatever homework is due the next day when a man walks in wearing BRIGHT RED CLOWN SHOES

the weirdest part though is the fact that other than the clown shoes the man is dressed like a body builder and has the hulking mass of one

and also there is a PARROT ON HIS SHOULDER ???

you and hyuck whip to face each other and then look back at the man

without looking away you slide your notebook to the middle of the table and flip open to where you’ve bookmarked the next available page

needless to say you both have a field day making up storylines for this man

“hey hyuckie i missed this it’s been forever since it’s been just the two of us and my journal”

“me too, sunshine”

“heY now you’re the sunshine in this relationship”

both of you choke at your use of the term “relationship” but continue with the conversation JSKSK

“alright but then you have to be the rain”

“aw you know i don’t like the rain”

“yes i know that’s why YOU are sunshine”

“kay but you are so much more like sunshine than i, an Emo”

“how bout i be sunshine since you like sunshine and me, and you be rain since i like rain and you”

OOF ????????

you blush for the Millionth Time and nod shyly and duckie is about to turn purple YIKES

you leave the ice cream shop and climb back in the car and the whole atmosphere is very Tense

you sigh because you miss holding his hand and then turn up the song on the radio which just happens to be, Walkin On Sunshine

THE !!! IRONY !!!

you giggle into your hand and he snorts and you both break into laughter

you plug your phone into the aux

“alright time for some Real Tunes”

“i swear to GOD if you play Bad Boy one more time i’m gonna LOSE IT”

“fuck you red velvet are LEGENDS”

“the only reason you know who they are is because mark tells everyone with a pulse that one of them is from canada just like him”

“okay and ??? i can still appreciate that they produce iconic songs only”

“LISTEN I LOVE RED VELVET TOO BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”

you playfully bicker the whole way back and when you get back to the school to pick up your car you realize you never even got to play your song

“for your information, i was in fact NOT going to play bad boy i was going to play the bop of the century, what is love by twice”

and then, with heavy sarcasm

“well gee why didn’t you just sAY SO”

“IM SICK OF YOUR GIRL GROUP SLANDER LEE DONGHYUCK”

then he giggles and grabs your hand to keep you from getting more than halfway out of the car

“okay okay you know i’m just messing with you”

“yes but leave my gorls out of it”

he releases your hand with fake disgust and wipes it on the passenger seat headrest

“ugh go home, gru”

“it’s a good meme and you can’t even deny it duckie boy”

you blow him a half serious half playful kiss as you bounce over to your car and climb in

you play bad boy and roll the windows down as you drive by his car just to spite him and he laughs good naturedly

it’s only when you get home that you’re like heyyyy nOW

WAS THAT A DATE ??????

you tell your mom about it and she’s like uHHH sounds like a DATE to me ???

but you’re Unsure so you don’t say anything to the others or hyuck just the usual goodnight texts and whatnot

although it could be argued ,, that goodnight texts are a little, relationship-y

it could also be argued , that you do have his contact name as , duckie☼♥

but those can be discussed another time

you continue to hang out with the boys although you refuse to allow them to sit with you at football games because they’re so DISTRACTING

jeno and jisung just fckin yell the whole time while you try to jot notes down to turn it into a story later for the paper

but you can’t concentrate or even figure out wtf is goin on because they’re scREAMING and jumping and messing you uP !

so you sent them elsewhere although,,, hyuck stayed with you

he always does “just in case you get cold or smth”

ur not fooling anyone hyuckie baby

and would you look at that time has FLOWN and it’s time for homecoming !!!!

you plan on going in a big group with hyuck and all The Boys and jaemin has even scored a date !!!

it was highkey through trickery but that’s okay

chenle and jisung are gonna wear matching shirts because they’re headass like that

you’ve already bought a dress and you haven’t ….. shown hyuckie……. just in case……… he asks you

since he…… hasn’t …… YET

renjun keeps assuring you that you don’t need to find a date and that everything is covered but ???? inch resting how duckie has done nOT ONE THING

alright the day of the dance you wake up feeling a little off but go through your normal saturday routine of eating a waffle and absentmindedly watching old gossip girl reruns

but later in the day you feel SHITTY

you’re flushed and your head hurts and it takes so much EFFORT just to get up and get a glass of water

you , comrade, are sick :-(

you text in the gm to let your boys know you can’t come

chenle thinks you’re faking until he calls and hears you sniffling and how rough your voice sounds

“hEY THOT I KNOW UR FAKING BC U DONT HAVE A DATE”

“chenle if it didn’t hurt to speak i would yell at u but my eyes are watering please just text me”

“oh,,,,sorry love u”

and then he hangs up real fast lmao

so you decide to just wallow in despair in your bed and rent overpriced movies on demand

there’s a half drank mug of tea that has long gone cold that contains the medicine you’re supposed to be taking but,, you can’t be bothered tbh lifting your hand is so hard

after a few movies and the sun setting there’s knock at the door ???

you barely hear it since you’re in your room with the door closed but /sigh/ you gotta go answer

you drag yourself out of bed and stumble to the front door and open it, immediately slumping against the frame

this whole time you have still not opened your eyes because light hurts a lil and you know your house well enough

in hindsight that was probably dumb considering you don’t know who’s at the door

you try to open your eyes but they only turn half lidded and droopy so you can just barely make out donghyuck looking Concerned on your front porch

“duckie? what are u doing here?”

“uhhh i uh came to take you to homecoming ??”

he then holds up some flowers and smiles awkwardly

“duckie. baby. sunshine. did u not read the texts i sent ? also it is VERY late to be asking me to homecoming. also, i am a little high on cold medication”

“srry princess, can i come in? you look like you need company and soup and possibly some Sarcastic Banter”

“sounds good duck”

“okay duckie was already incorrect please don’t shorten it to duck”

“you know i didn’t have to let you in”

“so what kind of soup do you want? :-)”

he busies himself attempting to make soup while you have melted into a chair at the dining table with one eye cracked open to watch him

he is very obviously Struggling so you wobble to your feet to stand behind him at the stove and maybe lean a little too much into his back to prop your chin up on his shoulder and reach a hand around him to turn the heat down on the stove

you’ve reached the point of I Don’t Give A Shit and have given up on trying not to be affectionate with him you’re too tired and sickly to restrain yourself and his heart is just steadily beating faster and faster

after your soup you drag him into your bedroom to force him to provide you warmth while watching another movie

but he digs his heels into the floor and tugs on your hand to turn you around

“since you’re missing homecoming….. wanna dance?”

“in my bedroom. while i’m dying. with no music.”

“i’ll take care of the music. cmon don’t be difficult”

“i’m not being difficult i’m just-

you’re cut off by him pressing a finger to your lips and going shhhhhh

you open your mouth to curse him out bc hOW DARE HE

but then he gently pulls you by the waist into his chest and does his best to tuck you under his chin

you’re too comfortable like this so you don’t bother admonishing him for earlier and just settle into his embrace

you loop your arms around his neck as he starts to sway you back and forth

after a couple seconds he starts humming, quietly at first and then louder

and then he starts singing and it’s so sO SWEET AND SOFT

you can feel each breath he takes under your hands and the vibrating of his vocal chords against your forehead and you just close your eyes and press closer to him

you’ve literally never been this content in your whole life binch

he is so warm and ever so often smooths a hand up and down your spine whenever you shiver a little or shift in his arms

when the song finishes you keep swaying with him a little while longer

you’re leaning against him so hard that like the majority of your weight is on him yikes

“babe are you asleep”

“mm”

“no?”

“mmm”

“pretty close though?”

“hm”

“alright”

he chuckles and presses a barely there kiss to the top of your head and sort of waddles the two of you over to the bed

you don’t even have to ask him to climb in with you that was The Plan, Stan

(that’s a saying and also i’m calling u a stan wow queen of puns)

as soon as he settles in you tuck yourself under his arm and throw an arm over him to play with the fingers of his other hand

you’ve got the breakfast club on and it’s Real Nap Hours

hyuck’s arm falls asleep pretty soon tho so instead you switch to laying on your sides facing each other with your face pressed into his neck and your arms draped over each other

right before you fade into unconciousness, he tilts his chin down and nudges his nose against yours to get your attention

your eyes flutter open and you look up at him while he smiles gently down at your sleepy expression aWE ???

“hey wanna be my date when you’re not on your death bed?”

“god, what a romantic. is that a shakespeare quote?”

“shut up and say yes”

“alright fine”

“with more enthusiasm!”

“YES!! GOD DAMN IT”

he shakes his head but then leans down to press a lingering kiss against your cheek before tucking you back against him and evening out his breathing

you fall asleep and dream of boys with beautiful voices who love to dance in the rain

a couple hours later you wake up to a forehead smooch and your Boy whispering bye angel

you sit up and whine and he’s like bby i have to go it’s like midnight n my momma wants me home :(((

you pout and he giggles and taps your lips with his index finger

“go back to sleep and i’ll text you something nice to wake up to yeah?”

you nod and grab his hand to kiss it before flopping back down and passing The Fuck Out

the next morning you wake up still feeling a bit shitty but smiling anyways bc you’ve scored the cutest boy in the universe uwu

he even kept his promise and left you a cute message to wake up to ;((((

duckie☼♥: good morning bbg i hope ur feeling better today and that the sun shines all day for u !!!

you: JEKDKDJ DUCKIE IM STILL SICK BUT TAKE ME ON A DATE RN

you: 💗💗💗💕💌💞💞💗😤💖🤧😔💗😔🤧😔🌺💐🌺🌺🌸💐😔💛😔💛💐🤧💐💐💖💖

duckie☼♥: noooo ur gross

you: you ruined it :(((

duckie☼♥: i mean noooo u gotta get better

you: okay :)))

you finally get over your cold like 4 days later and insist you’re fine to be Taken Out And Treated Like A Princess

he tells you to dress warm except gloves bc he wants to hold youR HAND CAN YOU BELIEVE

you’re weirdly not nervous ? like you thought you would be but you’re just excited and very happy !!!! uwu

he picks you up about an hour after school and reveals that he’s gonna take you to all the cafes in town to people watch and write stories which is !!! your favorite activity !!!!!!

“is it lame??? oh god you think it’s lame i’m so sORRY”

“nO!!! no i love it you did good”

“are you sure?”

“yes duckie”

“okay good i mean i knew you’d like it”

“but you just-“

“hm?”

“,,,,, nevermind”

you both hike around town until it gets late and you’re tired and you end up on a bench in the local park with his head in your lap and your fingers in his hair

you lightly scratch his scalp and hum and he practically PURRS like a cat

(furry ????? it’s more likely than you think)

his eyes are closed and you trace your fingers over his features lightly until it tickles and he scrunches up his nose aw bABY !!!!!

then, without opening his eyes

“so when are you gonna man up and kiss me?”

“first of all, i will never man up i prefer being female thanks. sECOND WHY DO I GOTTA DO IT”

“i asked you on the date !!! you gotta do something!!!”

“i held your hand first!!”

“after i literally offered my hand to you”

“uGH fine come here”

“no i’m not gonna ‘come here’ you literally just made a disgusted noise at the thought of kissing me”

“it wasn’t at the thought of kissing you it was just at you”

“this isn’t helping at all”

you roll your eyes playfully and then yank him up by the collar of his shirt to press your forehead against his

“does this help?”

aND THEN YOU LAY ONE ON HIM ??????:$&:&;&;

QUEEN OF CONFIDENCE

he sighs against your lips and sits up a little more so he can reach you better, smoothing a hand up to cup the side of your jaw and neck

you pull away and his eyes are still closed

“hmmm,,, yeah”

you scoff and drop him back to half laying on your lap

“you’re such a dork”

“yeah but i’m your dork now so it’s embarrassing for both of us”

“aw i wouldn’t have it any other way <333”

“is it just me or was that sarcasm”

“just you <3333”

renjun, who has been rOOTING FOR YOU GUYS THIS ENTIRE TIME

screams when you call him that night lol

literally SCREECHES

chenle happens to be with him and screeches eVEN LOUDER

basically the whole group screams simultaneously they’ve been shipping it since day one

hyuck is a bit prideful so when you guys are out in public he’s not super affectionate but ,, when you’re not out

he’s wrapped around you like a koala and will never let go

you have to go pee? hold it

you’re dehydrated and dying? you can live off of his Love

your favorite activity to do together is BAKING because it never goes well no matter how hard you try

and although it usually ends in DISASTER it’s also a good time and afterwards duckie lets you curl up between his legs on the couch and nap uwu !

dating really didn’t change the dynamic between you two other than affection you still read each other to DUST on the regular  lmao

no one gets too harsh tho bc you love each other and whatnot

ugh love ruins all the FUN doesnt it :/

donghyuck makes it his business to know exactly when it will rain and makes sure to be with you when it does

at the first sight of clouds he is in your house with board games and movies and snuggles to distract you !!! what a sweetheart

on days when it’s really bad you just climb into bed and bury your face in his chest while he talks about whatever comes to mind and distracts you

he also takes to slumping down and falling asleep on your shoulder whenever you have movie nights together and it’s so CUTE

his little heart shaped lips and his cheeks always end up smushed and he just looks adorable wow rip you

he’s obsessed with your cheeks he loves to cup your face while he talks to you and press gentle kisses to them during Sleepy Time or when you part ways in the school hallways

if he’s excited he’ll bound up behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek real hard and then start babbling about whatever’s got him so worked up

basically, hyuckie is a boy full of sunshine and passion and sarcasm and he’s the best boyfriend you could ever ask for :’-)

[8147]

reading hamlet for the first time (act 5: the finale)

masterlist

none of you told me it was going to be this painful . none of you.

a5s1

“Ophelia’s dead.” “Enter CLOWNS!”

Like im sure this has a different meaning in EMA but im gonna make fun of it because it’s fucking hilarious. (future (present? (now past once more (?))) antares coming back to say i did look at nfs and yeah theyre gravediggers)

“First Clown: What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter? Second Clown: The gallows-maker; for that frame outlives a thousand tenants.” damn not even just this one quote but these are some depressing clowns

hamlet and horatio!

okay there’s something about all of hamlet’s skull talk that makes me uneasy. like, not even the topic, just something in the words and how earnestly and (pardon my pun) gravely hamlet’s speaking about this. and it’s almost a mournful tune, too. it’s a huge difference from his “we’ll all be eaten by the same worms” speech to the point that it’s almost haunting.

“HAMLET: I will speak to this fellow.” C O N F R O N T

“HAMLET: I think it be thine, indeed; for thou liest in't.” (incomprehensible scribbling)

HAMLET, NOT IN ENGLAND: oh yeah lol he was sent to england huh u know why lmao

wait. did the. did the pirate situation get resolved. before act V.

I mean i think hamlet mentioned something about three years but the pirates are so fucking glossed over like what the fuck

“First Clown: 'Twill, a not be seen in him there; there the men are as mad as he.” HOLY SHIT ROAST THEM JFC

“HAMLET: Let me see. (Takes the skull)” THIS IS THE SKULL SCENE! I fucking KNEW it was bullshit that holding the skull was in the to be/not to be speech. I saw it being presented as such like once or twice while reading and I KNEW IT

hm okay so hamlet picks up this guys skull, of someone he used to know, and sure maybe i could ignore the “those lips i have kissed” but then he goes on to mention alexander the great and i mean come on

but jesus like i feel like im not doing justice to the stuff hamlet’s saying. just, the gravity of it all. Its kinda hitting home a bit hard bc like ive had a crippling fear of what happens after death and being forgotten etc since i was like in fourth grade and this is @ing that phobia

like, with that julius ceasar thing. “O that that earth which kept the world in awe / should patch a wall to expel the winter flaw,” it’s so strange. like, every fucking human who has lived, whether they be emperors, murderers, inventors, peasants, or philanthropists- as long as they weren’t blind, they’ve all looked at the same sky. like. It doesnt matter what the fuck you did or didn’t. It’s wild.

“First Priest: No more be done: We should profane the service of the dead To sing a requiem and such rest to her As to peace-parted souls.” hey i get that there are cultural taboos around suicide but like this guy’s a dick it isnt even clear if it was suicide, like, she was so fucking crazy she might not have even known she was, y’know, in a lake or w/e

laertes, dude, my guy. maybe jumping into a grave is cosmic foreshadowing for something you don’t want to happen to you. js.

“HAMLET: [Advancing] What is he whose grief Bears such an emphasis? whose phrase of sorrow Conjures the wandering stars, and makes them stand Like wonder-wounded hearers? This is I, Hamlet the Dane. (Leaps into the grave)” hamlet is NOT one to be out-extra’d (posting-antares here to say, wait, ‘whose phrase of sorrow conjures the stars? is this my aesthetic-speeches-summon-ghosts theory? probably not, but i havent mentioned it for a while)

“LAERTES: The devil take thy soul! (Grappling with him)” IN A FUCKING GRAVE. THEY ARE FIGHTING. IN A GRAVE.

all because hamlet doesn’t want to be out-extra’d. my god.

“QUEEN GERTRUDE: This is mere madness: And thus awhile the fit will work on him; Anon, as patient as the female dove, When that her golden couplets are disclosed, His silence will sit drooping.” Ah yes gertie just talk about the distraught and angry madman as if he isn’t there. that’ll diffuse the situation.

You know what? We still haven’t discussed the pirates.

a5s2

“HAMLET: So much for this, sir: now shall you see the other; You do remember all the circumstance?” If this isn’t gonna be about the pirates im gonna. scream.

“HAMLET: My fears forgetting manners, to unseal Their grand commission; where I found, Horatio,-- O royal knavery!--an exact command, Larded with many several sorts of reasons Importing Denmark's health and England's too, With, ho! such bugs and goblins in my life, That, on the supervise, no leisure bated, No, not to stay the grinding of the axe, My head should be struck off.” god, though. imagine that. being exiled to another country by the person who killed your father, only to find out that they were going to have you killed, anyways. that’s fucking terrifying. jesus christ.

Damn this idea that pretty handwriting is ~beneath~ nobles confuses me so fucking much. I got called haughty once just because my main handwriting is cursive. I mean, they were right, but their evidence was circumstantial at best.

“HAMLET: That, on the view and knowing of these contents, Without debatement further, more or less, He should the bearers put to sudden death, Not shriving-time allow'd.” Hamlet’s Revenge. 

but also, what the fuck, dude. two wrongs dont make a right.

damn i kinda lost myself while reading but it really doesn’t sound like hamlet’s insane anymore. Like he’s… tempered himself. he doesn’t feel insane, just solemn.

“OSRIC: Your lordship is right welcome back to Denmark. HAMLET: I humbly thank you, sir. Dost know this water-fly?” goddamn ROAST HIM HAMLET (also what a fucking mood)

Osric put on your fucking ha--

The wind is

The wind is northerly

“HAMLET: No, believe me, 'tis very cold; the wind is northerly.” I remember someone saying that this is important

Okay here: “HAMLET: I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.”

oh no

Osric just wear ur fucking hat u doof

“OSRIC: Exceedingly, my lord; it is very sultry,--as 'twere,--I cannot tell how. But, my lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that he has laid a great wager on your head: sir, this is the matter,-- HAMLET: I beseech you, remember-- (HAMLET moves him to put on his hat)” excuse me a WAGER

but alas all hamlet cares about is osric’s fucking hat

“HAMLET: What's his weapon? OSRIC: Rapier and dagger. HAMLET: That's two of his weapons: but, well.” hamlet u sarcastic little shit i love you

I mean so is horatio. I love him too.

This stuff with the competition is. not gonna end well. not at well.

“HAMLET: I do not think so: since he went into France, I have been in continual practise: I shall win at the odds. But thou wouldst not think how ill all's here about my heart: but it is no matter.”

hamlet no. listen to your heart or whatever. jesus christ don’t do it.

“HORATIO: Nay, good my lord,--” HAMLET LISTEN TO HORATIO

Ohhh hamlet

okay reading what laertes said, you know what? i’m giving laertes one last chance. please do not prove me a fool, laertes. 

everything is giving me mad anxiety. e v e r y t h i n g.

claud’s speech is insanely sketchy

“KING CLAUDIUS: [Aside] It is the poison'd cup: it is too late.” One, so that’s why it was sketchy. Two, the POISONED CUP?

IT’S TOO LATE?

Gertie’s. Dead.

Shit, shit, shit

“LAERTES: [Aside] And yet 'tis almost 'gainst my conscience.” YES! SO PLEASE! STOP FIGHTING!

“LAERTES wounds HAMLET; then in scuffling, they change rapiers, and HAMLET wounds LAERTES.” Oh no oh no oh jeez eheu they’re hurting each other, shit, fuck,

“LAERTES: ...woodcock…”

“KING CLAUDIUS: She swounds to see them bleed. QUEEN GERTRUDE: No, no, the drink, the drink,--O my dear Hamlet,-- The drink, the drink! I am poison'd. (Dies)” one, i love how claud is desperatley trying to stick to the plan, its almost adorable in a childish sort of way. two, oh god. ohhh god. gertie. 

Oh no. 

this is the bloodbath. THIS IS THE BLOODBATH.

BODY COUNT: 1

“HAMLET: The point!--envenom'd too! Then, venom, to thy work. (Stabs KING CLAUDIUS)” ...

BODY COUNT: 2

wait and hamlet’s on death row, as with laertes. Oh no.

“LAERTES: He is justly served; It is a poison temper'd by himself. Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet: Mine and my father's death come not upon thee, Nor thine on me. (Dies)’ oh my god already??? I haven’t even really accepted king claud’s death?? jesus christ??

My friend just sorta nudged me and asked if i was alright and i. I’m not. i’m in shock. goddamn. what?

BODY COUNT: 3

goodness thats three in like less than thirty seconds JESUS CHRIST

“HAMLET: Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee.I am dead, Horatio.” that’s chilling. just, the poignancy. that’s so fucking spectral. i’m not okay.

“HORATIO: Never believe it: I am more an antique Roman than a Dane: Here's yet some liquor left.” No no no on no nononon NO NO oh my god are you going to-

“HAMLET: As thou'rt a man, Give me the cup: let go; by heaven, I'll have't. … If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart Absent thee from felicity awhile, And in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain, To tell my story.” hey i’m crying in study hall. i’m actually crying. what the fuck. I don’t cry unless i’m thinking about that one pair of 18th century shoes with the really good photo quality (transcribing-antares here. I fucking love those shoes. I’m looking at them right now and they’re so fucking beautiful. they look how velvet feels, which is odd, bc they're apparently silk. I don’t care they’re just so fucking lovely)

F O R T I N B R A S?

“HAMLET: O, I die, Horatio; The potent poison quite o'er-crows my spirit.” I’ve identified my emotion. Dread. pure, unadulterated Dread.

for all of you that’ve listened to the penumbra podcast: do you remember the concierge, right before final resting place, saying “you do realize you can just like, leave, and everything will be hunky dory and you won’t have to deal with the emotional consequences this episode will bring you” because i’m seriously considering doing that right now.

“HAMLET: The rest is silence. (Dies)” shit. (posting-antares here to say that i forgot to do the body count but honestly im crying while formating because of this goddamn fucking 400 year old play)

“HORATIO: Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince…” oh god. horatio.

“Good night sweet prince…”

(yet again tis transcribing-antares here to say that im fucking sobbing right now, the shoes are no match for this, and ‘goodnight sweet prince’ is actually never going to leave my head.) (editing-antares here to say im fucking crying again god fucking damn it) (posting-antares back again saying that this fucking line. this line. my god.)

“HORATIO: What is it ye would see? If aught of woe or wonder, cease your search.” oh, horatio. god. that isn’t something said without tears staining your skin and a bitter tone hard-won, not that its possession is a victory.

oh my god. this can’t. no. this can’t end like this. What. no. people must have rioted. No. no!!

i typically hate it but i would GLADLY accept a deus ex machina right about now!!

okay my friend just took my phone away from me and shut it off because i kept on trying to scroll past the end

jesus christ

okay so i’m not going to be okay for like, several eternities, so im going to play the sims until i. until i die, probably. my god.

masterlist