#just writing my feels before S8 makes me cry

[al-luviec]

cont...

still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Dedicated To New Lovers

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (she/her pronouns)

WC: ~5.5k

TW: Murder, Angst, Character Death, guns, violence, blood, swearing, depression, mentions of disordered eating, mentions of insomnia, self-deprecating thoughts, loneliness, heartbreak, Mentions of Emily's death, the grieving process, drinking, screaming, crying, sobbing, throwing up, being under pressure

A/N: This is based on s8 ep12, Zugzwang. It deviates slightly but still makes Spencer sob so it could basically be canon. Obviously, or maybe not to some people, this fic is based off of Night Shift by Lucy Dacus. It's been my obsession for the past couple weeks and I simply just had to write something for it. Now my one issue is, besides me ignoring editing it, is that I hate when things don't end happily, but I'm breaking out of the mold of everything ending with a nice neat little bow, so please enjoy! (well as much as you can for such a depressing fic lmao).

"Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life alone ---We find it with another." ~Thomas Merton.

“Thank you for such a wonderful night.” You murmured, pulling away from the kiss, hands on their chest. “I really enjoyed it Spe—”, you coughed and blinked a couple of times, catching yourself. “Especially,” You clutched your chest, smiling up at them, “Sorry I don’t know where that just came from.” 

The lips you had just kissed had shifted into a concerned smile, but was none the wiser. 

“Especially dessert. I loved the pie place, you were so right! The apple was just perfectly seasoned, and the crust was still crumbly.” You leaned up and kissed their cheek again. 

“I’ll see you again, yeah?” You whispered, before turning around and heading into your apartment building, not waiting for a response, smile falling the second you weren’t looking at them. You buzzed yourself in and quickly walked up the four flights of stairs towards your door.

You fucking hated pie. Well that wasn’t true, but you didn’t really want to spend your evening going and getting pie with someone you really weren’t that into. 

You couldn’t help but wonder why everything was wrong. They were kind, and sweet, and cared so much for you, but it just wasn’t the same. Your heart was just not in the place, and not a single butterfly fluttered around in your stomach, you couldn’t figure out what was wrong with you.

Well that was a lie too. You knew exactly what was wrong. 

“I’m fine, it’s fine.” You mumbled, getting your keys out and unlocking your front door, grabbing the mail off of the mat, and closing the door behind you. 

The boxes stacked precariously around your place just left you feeling more and more destitute on this island of loneliness. God you were so fucking dramatic. You dumped the roses they had given you, and your purse onto the kitchen counter, and went straight for the fridge, grabbing the bottle of Prosecco. The cork popped, and you took a swig straight from the bottle. 

Your phone rang, and you pulled it out of your pocket, sighing and answering it. 

“Hey Em.” 

“Wow, was it that bad of a date?” Emily laughed a little. She had been concerned about you, the whole team had been concerned about you. Her death had hit you and Spencer the hardest. You had become fast friends with Emily, regardless of the fact that when she joined, you were the youngest, and newest on the team as well. The two of you had become fast friends, and even faster sisters. She was your everything. She was there for your father’s death, the start of your relationship with Spencer, the harder cases, the bitching, the girls nights, the everything. But you had run into the warehouse, and saw Derek cradling her hand, screaming for a medic, and you just lost it. Your brain went into overdrive, rendering you useless. When JJ walked into the waiting room and told all of you the news, you sat there, shocked. Spencer had tried to go see her, but you had just excused yourself and walked out to the parking lot. It was devastating. You were allowed back from leave a week later than everyone else because Hotch knew you needed more time. So when she walked back into the round room, alive and well, your barely pieced together mind completely shattered all over again. 

You watched for seven months as Spencer let you grieve alone while running off to JJ’s house for comfort. You had sat alone in your shared apartment becoming more and more of a shell of a person, not really eating, sleeping, or even drinking water; you were barely existing. Five years of a relationship washed away because that first night, instead of comforting each other, Spencer had abandoned you at the hospital, forgetting to even drive you home. Then, when his headaches got, he pulled even further away, only hearing snippets of how he was doing from those on the team who didn’t even live with him. 

The team could only watch as you slowly became a ghost of yourself, while Spencer couldn’t even give a shit to notice. 

The first time he mentioned Maeve to you, it was like a stake in your chest. You had caught him talking to her when you had come back early from the therapy Hotch had almost threatened you at gunpoint to go to. He quickly hung up the phone and mentioned that she was his doctor, helping him with his headaches. But you knew better. You had heard him laughing before you walked into the apartment. You hadn’t heard him laugh since before Emily had “died”. 

Then, one night, he told you it was over.  I don’t love you anymore. 

You just sat there, chest caving in on yourself. 

Since this was my place first, uh…I can give you a couple of weeks to find a place, and I’ll even sleep on the couch…

His words bounced around in your head before Emily said your name. “You disappeared on me.” 

“Shit-uh, shit. Sorry Em.” You shook your head, and pinched your brow. “They were really lovely Em, just the best. But I’m just not ready.” 

Emily sighed, “I know it’s only been four months but I’m proud of you, I really am. For even going out in the first place. Want me to come over, bring a new bottle of prosecco.” 

You laughed, but it had no substance. “How’d you know I was almost out of Prosecco.” 

Emily sighed. “I know you’re a grown woman who can handle living alone, but Sergio and I wouldn’t have minded if you stayed with us for a couple more weeks.”  

“And I know that, and I love you so much for it, but the only way I’m ever going to be able to…” the words got stuck in your throat. “I, um. I had to.” 

Emily sighed, but understood. “Okay, well, if you need anything, I’m a phone call away, or a block away, whichever is faster for you.” 

“Thanks Emily. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that you hung up the phone, not wanting to prolong the conversation any more than it had. 

“Fucking Maeve.” You grumbled to the living room before taking another swig from the bottle. You barely slept these days. Your date this past night? The first time you had eaten a full meal in over two weeks. Your skin was a little more gaunt, and the concealer you were using was working overtime to hide the bags under your eyes. You were once someone filled with so much joy, and so much love to give. Everyone knew you were a touchy person, always giving hugs, touching people’s arms, squeezing their hands; if someone tried to touch you now, your whole body would tense up, your stomach would flip. Eventually, after finishing off the bottle, you fell into a restless sleep on the couch of your apartment, since you didn’t want to sleep alone in your own mattress, dreaming about the fact that someone else was probably in the one you bought with Spencer all those years ago when he asked you to live with him.  ------------------------------------------------------------------------

The office went silent as you walked into work the next morning. You were always one to arrive early, make your coffee, visit Penelope in the Bat Cave, stop by Hotch and Rossi’s offices and wish them a good morning. But these days you walked through those glass doors exactly at 9 am, unless you were called in. 

It was masochistic to still work at the BAU, but it was one dream you weren’t going to let Spencer take away from you. But as you walked into the bullpen, and all heads turned towards you with such pitiful looks, you doubted whether you belonged here anymore. 

Before you could place your bag down, Aaron walked over to you and quietly asked if you would come into his office. You obliged, a sinking feeling in your gut, as you followed Hotch, while the eyes of everyone else followed you. 

As Hotch opened the door, you froze. Spencer was sitting on the couch, trying to wipe away the tears in his eyes. He clearly also hadn’t been sleeping, but you knew those tears weren’t for you. You stayed in the doorway until Hotch gestured to one of the chairs along the side of his office. You moved away from the door, but stayed standing, refusing to sit down. Hotch closed the door, trapping you in his office with someone you hadn’t spoken more than necessary to in over four months.

“Do you want to tell me why I'm here.” You asked calmly, trying to ignore the desperate man on the couch, who was just staring down at his feet. 

“I am going to ask you to sit out this case.” Hotch looked at you, not sitting down either, ready to calm down whatever fight you’re about to put up. 

Your eyes narrowed at your section chief and you scoffed. “You better have a seriously good explanation Hotch because as I’ve told you many times before, I’m doing fine. I don’t know what has been said, but I’m perfectly capable at—”

“I asked him if you could sit out.” Spencer’s voice was hoarse, but solid as he looked at you. 

You closed your eyes and flexed one of your hands, resisting the urge to punch him in the teeth.

“Since when do you know what’s best for me, Doctor Reid.” It took all of your control to stay civil and not curse him out in front of your boss. 

“That’s not it.” Spencer licked his lips but he quickly averted his gaze. “T-The case. It’s um. It’s about Maeve and I–” 

Your heart dropped. Bile started to rise in your throat. “oh.” You had never felt so small in your life. Tears were forming in your eyes. “I’ll be right…I—” 

You barely even finished the thought before you opened the door, and quickly walked out of Hotch’s office. No one even tried to pretend that they weren’t watching Hotch’s office. Emily and Derek shot up off of their desks and immediately went to follow you as you sped down the stairs and through the bullpen. Hotch just looked down at his feet while Reid just rubbed his hands over his eyes. 

You shoved through the doors, accidentally bumping into Penelope on the way out, causing her to drop the files and coffee mug in her hand. It shattered on the ground, but you couldn’t stop to apologize. You needed to be in the bathroom before you became the agent who threw up all over the halls because of some stupid broken heart. 

Emily had quickly helped Penelope pick things up, the two exchanging hushed whispers and looks. Derek had apologized to Penelope while he ran past, catching up to you with every stride. You shoved open the door to one of the woman’s rooms, Derek right behind you. 

Luckily for you, it was empty, so you could continue running to the biggest stall, before dropping to your knees and throwing up. It burned your throat and your eyes, stinging every inch of skin as it rose up your throat and into the toilet in front of you. 

Derek had pulled back your hair, and was now sitting down next to you as you dry heaved into the toilet. You only threw up actual substance one more time, but it was just that stupid fucking apple pie and the Prosecco from the night before. There was nothing else in your stomach to throw up, so your body settled for making you gag continuously. 

“Fuck.” You cried into the toilet, letting yourself fully devolve into the mess you were destined to become this morning. 

Derek just rubbed your back, “It’s okay pretty girl, let it all out.” 

“Derek Morgan I think I am the ugliest son of a bitch right now.” You mumbled, reaching up and flushing the contents down the drain, tears still racing down your face. “I can’t fucking—” You tried to breathe in but your body was shutting down. That’s all it seemed to do these days. It felt like the only way to protect yourself anymore. “He–”

“I know.” He whispered softly, offering you some toilet paper to let you wipe off your face, as you leaned back, away from the toilet. 

That’s when the first sob wracked your body. Maybe you weren’t meant to be on this team anymore. Spencer had been here longer. You were only an asset to the team because of your positive attitude which left your body the second Emily Prentiss was pronounced dead in that waiting room. You were the definition of useless. I mean, Derek and Emily were partners, Hotch and Rossi had everything down pat, and Spencer, even when you were dating, was truly partnered with JJ most of the time. You were the odd man out, and you were fucking useless. 

Derek had pulled you into his chest, hugging you as the sobs continued. His heart was breaking for you. No one on the team really knew what had happened that night, all they knew was that you didn’t come in one day, and then when you did the next, you looked like shit. All while Spencer seemed fine. Then, when your desk was moved to the opposite side of the bullpen, it confirmed any and all guesses the profilers had been making. You were never paired with him on cases anymore, and if you were, there was always a third person. You barely looked at one another. Spencer’s scarf had reappeared on his desk one morning, and suddenly you were no longer staying in the same hotel rooms. Derek just kissed your head as you let your body give up. 

He wasn’t stupid. Like everyone else, he had noticed the way you had been losing weight. He had noticed the amount of makeup you had started to wear. He even realized that he hadn’t seen you eat any meals with them in the past couple months while they were out on cases. But what he hadn’t fully realized was the fact that you were dead, inside and out. There was nothing left of you but the barely alive body he was holding. 

Spencer had really gotten a good look at you for the first time in a very long time. He had already felt guilty about the fact that he had Maeve, and that you had broken up he had broken your heart. But what he had failed to realize was the same thing Derek had–You were someone entirely different, a ghost of yourself. The guilt was gnawing through his stomach when he told Hotch what was going on, and he had begged Hotch to let you sit out, trying to save you from this, but clearly Spencer couldn’t do anything right for you anymore, he hadn’t been able to in a very long time. Hotch had cleared his throat while Spencer shook his head. “I-I tried Hotch, I really didn’t want…”

He just nodded at Spencer. “I know Reid, but you must have known there was no way this conversation was going to go any better than that.” 

Reid just nodded, and stood up, going out into the bullpen, not missing the way all of their eyes snapped to him, as Penelope dumped her broken mug into the trash. 

Before anyone could say anything, Hotch walked out of his office and looked at everyone. “As you all could have guessed, Agent Y/L/N will not be joining us on this case. I expect everyone in the conference room in ten.” and with that, Hotch walked past Reid, and down the stairs, out towards where he had assumed you had run off too. 

Spencer just stood on the stairs, watching Hotch walk to you, wishing it could be him to hold you in his arms.

Hotch opened the door to the women’s bathroom, and saw Derek cradling you. As you heard the door open, your body had tensed up and all of your tears had stopped. Derek and Hotch shared a look before Hotch kneeled down. 

“Sorry Aaron.” You mumbled, trying to wipe away the remaining tears on your face. 

“Don't apologize. Take the next couple of days off. Penelope might call and ask you a question or two, if she manages to forgive you for breaking her third favorite coffee mug…” 

You laughed slightly at his joke, trying not to let it cause you to cry even more, wiping away more tears. 

“But I expect you don’t need me to tell you this is an order.” 

You nodded at Hotch while you stood up, Derek quickly following suit. “We’re meeting in ten.” He nodded at Derek, who took the hint. He squeezed your arm, and kissed your head, whispering to call him if you needed anything, before leaving just you and Hotch alone in the bathroom. He held up your purse and gave you a sympathetic smile. 

“I am only a phone call away Y/n. If anything happens, I want to be the first to know.” He nodded at you, only for you to pull him into a hug. Hotch smiled slightly, because you hadn’t really hugged anyone for a while, so he quickly reciprocated before pulling away. “Hotch, can I ask you one more favor?” 

“Anything,” He said softly.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once he had left, You grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser and tried to wipe as much of the mascara track marks off. You eventually just wiped off your whole face of makeup. You stared at yourself, realizing just how fucked you were. Eventually, you had made your way out of the bathroom, and past the bullpen. Everyone was piling into the conference room, but Spencer had stopped to watch you enter the elevator, really looking at you. You made eye contact right as the doors started to close. Spencer’s gut twisted at the forlorn look on your face. But before he could do anything, the doors were closed, you were gone, and his name was called by Hotch. -------------------------------------------------------------------------

According to the updates from Emily and Derek, the case was not going well. You knew very little about it, and you wanted to keep it this way, but you knew this case wasn’t going to end well. You could just tell. 

You had been existing in your own apartment, making frequent trips to Emily’s to keep your favorite cat company. You would go on long walks as the sun set, nowhere truly in mind, just wandering around trying to think about anything else. You would listen to your music, trying to take your mind off of the man who you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about since you first joined the team. It could have been yesterday based on how well you remembered it. 

But instead of wallowing, you tried to at least wallow in public, resolving to minimize the sheer amount of pity parties you had been throwing yourself.

Three days later, you had been walking around aimlessly, just trying to hit your new goal of 10,000 steps a day to start being active again, when your phone rang. You had answered it without a thought in the world since usually it was Derek, Hotch, and Emily on the other end. 

But this time, it was none of them. 

“Hello?” Spencer’s entire body froze once he heard your voice, once he knew that Diane knew who you were. 

“I just want her to see one more thing.” 

“Hello?” You asked again, just about to hang up, thinking it was some sort of prank call when a woman spoke to you. 

“Is this Doctor Y/N Y/L/N?” Maeve looked over at Spencer, confusion and horror in her eyes, while Spencer just stared at the phone, willing for you to hang up. 

“Um, yes? May I ask who this is…” 

“My name is Diane.” 

“Um, okay, Diane. Can I ask why you’re calling me.” You had just walked into your apartment, Spencer could hear the unfamiliar creek of the door as it slammed shut. 

“What do you know about Doctor Maeve Donovan.” 

Your whole body froze. “What?” barely even whispering out your response. 

“What do you know about Maeve.” Her temper exploded, and you just sat there trying to breathe. 

“Wh-what do you want to know about her?” You had taken several courses in negotiation, taught by David Rossi himself, so your training started to kick in, but your panic was fighting strongly against it. You just couldn't bring yourself to say her name.

The team was outside of the building, when Garcia had called and tapped them into the phone call Diane was making. When they heard your voice, all of them froze. This was not what she was supposed to do. How the hell did she even know about you? 

“I want you to tell me about how she ruined your life.”

Spencer tried to speak but Diane pointed the gun at Maeve, making him go silent. Maeve had started silently crying, unable to believe this is what her life had become. 

“I–, You want me to tell you about some woman I have never met?”

“Yes yes yes. Why won’t any of you fucking listen.” You recieved a text on your watch, from Hotch, briefing you on the fact that Diane had both Spencer and Maeve hostage in the warehouse she was calling from.

You took a shaky inhale before biting your lips. “I want to know that they’re both okay Diane. I need to hear both Spencer and M..Maeve speak.” God this was so fucking hard, it hurt so fucking badly.

Diane rolled her eyes before nodding at Maeve. “H-hi.” She whispered. “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t—” she was cut off but the barrel of the gun pushed against her head. 

All you could do was clutch your fist while she spoke, because you realized you couldn’t be angry at her for falling in love with Spencer, because you had too. 

“And Spencer?” Your voice cracked out, desperate to hear his voice. 

“Go on Spencer. Tell her you’ve been okay without her.” 

Spencer winced and spoke up, dying for you to just hang up the phone. “I’m here Y/N.” 

The way he said your name made you want to curl up into a ball and die, but it wasn’t good enough for Diane. 

“Not good enough Spencer. Tell her how you ruined her life. She deserves to hear it from you since you broke her just like you broke me for loving the ONE WOMAN I DESERVED TO BE LOVED BY.” 

Spencer heard the sharp intake of your breath. He could hear you trying not to cry. After everything, he never wanted to hurt you, but clearly he had fucked himself over and over with every single decision he made. He knew you knew he was playing along with her fantasy, but he knew that you hearing these words would ruin your life more than any gunshot would. 

“Tell me Spencer.” You breathed out, knowing if he continued to play along, maybe he could make it out of this alive, regardless of everything that had gone on between the two of you. 

“Please.” Spencer turned to Diane. “She has nothing to do with this, let her hang up the ph–”

“If she hangs up, I shoot Maeve and let you watch as she dies.” 

And there it was. There was a small, awful part of you that wanted to hang up the phone right then and there. Let him suffer and feel the pain you had been feeling for months and months. Your silence was enough to let Spencer know you were struggling, which hurt him even more because that same small part of him knew he deserved it, forgiveness for you and all. 

The team listened to the silence, some of them waiting for the dial tone, others grieving the shit you put yourself through just for someone who didn't love you anymore.

“Would you rather I tell you how he ruined my life, just like he did yours?” You breathed out, finally saying something. The entire SWAT team, along with your team was listening in, everyone was waiting with bated breath to hear--everyone wanted to know.

Prentiss looked over at Hotch. “Hotch we can’t let her do this. It…”

But Hotch just shook his head. “If we hang up the phone, Maeve dies, and if nobody complies with Diana, both Spencer and Maeve die.”

Rossi spoke up. “You have to trust her, she’s negotiating. She’s buying us time. Whether or not we should be listening to this is the real question.” 

All of them went silent after that, a decision had been made. 

Diane’s face twisted into a smile. “I’d love too.” 

You closed your eyes and let out a shaky breath. “D-Do you know what it’s like, Diane, to walk into work every morning and have every single person who promises you they care about you over and over and over again just stare at you like you're some sort of wounded puppy? Watching as they handle you like a glass figurine that they all feel responsible for breaking, and yet the one person who threw you against the wall doesn’t even notice.” 

Diane huffed, but she nodded. ”Keep going.”

“Do you know how long we were together?” 

Spencer couldn’t decide who the question was for. 

“Tell me Spencer. Tell me how many days of her life you threw away just to love someone who you’ve never met before..”

He couldn’t look at Maeve. He couldn’t look at Diane. Your heart had given out right then and there, they had never even met in person. He had fallen in love with a woman he'd never seen before.

“Tell her Spencer.” You voice came out harsher than intended, your resolve was gone, but it made Diane smile even more, becoming comfortable with the taste of venom in your mouth. 

His voice wavered. “Five years, two months, nine days, and three hours.” 

You let out something resembling a controlled sob, which had Diane’s smile growing by the second. Maeve just stared at him, and Spencer couldn’t tell if she was horrified or upset or just sad. 

“You threw away over five years worth of love, to ruin my relationship?” 

“Diane.” You said suddenly, trying to get her attention back off of the two people she was holding hostage. 

“What.” She was starting to become irritated, ancy, waving the gun around more. 

“Want to know the worst part about it.” 

“If you tell it to me quickly because I’m running out of patience Y/N.”

“He’s making me transfer departments.” 

Your big secret was out. 

“What.” Spencer breathed out, the shock spread across his face. He couldn’t imagine the bullpen without you, and when he wasn't on the phone with Maeve, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. The days where you weren’t near him went by torturously slow, and all he could do was hope that you might look at him again, let him apologize, let him fix this. Diane watched as the pain flashed across Spencer's face, enjoying it.

The team all turned to Hotch, hoping that she was bluffing. But Hotch just looked down at the ground, confirming the awful truth. 

“I just finished putting in my transfer today.” You didn't know who you were explaining it to–the team, to Diane, or to Spencer, maybe all of them. 

“Being around him, knowing he doesn’t lo—” You went silent for a second before switching gears. “This was my dream.” Your lips started talking, and everyone listened intensely. “I trained specifically for the BAU. I got three Bachelors in worthless shit so that the FBI would spike its interest in me so that I could get into the academy and prove myself to Agent Hotchner. Prove myself to Jason Gideon. Then I went and got a PhD in Psychology with focuses in Trauma and Forensic Sciences. And I fucking loved it. I had finally proven to myself that maybe, just maybe, I was good enough. I finally found a place I belonged, with the people I belonged with. And I was so fucking good at my job Diane. You wouldn’t even comprehend it. But he took all of it from me. Every last bit of joy was sucked out of my body the minute he told me he didn’t love me anymore. The minute he didn’t even apologize for breaking my heart and ruining everything I worked so hard for. And then he still expected me to be at my best, getting pissed when I would be distracted, disrespecting me and my intelligence in front of our peers, our friends. He neglected our relationship, abandoning me when I needed him the most, and then expected me to love him all the same. The audacity is through the fucking roof.” 

Spencer was just staring at the phone, heart beating loudly in his chest. “And the honest to god truth Diane, the worst part of it all, I would forgive him in a heartbeat. I don’t even know why I would, I feel no fucking reason to forgive him, but I might as well. If he asked me to greet him on the tarmac and kiss him once this case is over and he survives, I might, just so I can remember how it felt to be loved. He barely noticed that I had stopped eating, or didn’t care enough to say anything. He didn't do shit when I would show up half an hour late to the jet because I was so exhausted that I fell asleep at my desk, because I haven’t slept in months. He just doesn’t care anymore and I’d rather die than step foot into Quantico again because losing him was already too much to fucking bare. I’d rather never see him ever again, if I can help it.” 

You exhaled, feeling the slightest weight off of your chest, but your words were calculated. The end of your rant held some truth to it, both you and Spencer knew that, but something about the last line of what you had said was bugging Emily. 

She turned to Hotch. “Rossi is right, she’s stalling.” 

“But?” JJ asked her, looking at the building, before looking back at Emily. 

“She’s trying to get Diane to shoot Spencer to save Maeve.” 

Just as the entire team realized this, they heard Spencer’s voice, steady and unwavering. “I told her not to come on this case because I knew she would have slowed us down.” 

Your brain shortcircuited as a hand came up to cover up your sob. Not because what he said was the truth but because Spencer knew what you were doing, and he was trying to do the same thing.

“She’s been useless ever since our friend was killed during a case almost two years ago. She’s barely intelligent, and all she does for this team, truly, is parade around with a positive attitude that gets on on everyone else's nerves because she could never put as much effort into anything as you clearly have.” 

Diane walked over to him, squatting down in front of him. “I want to hear you say it to her Spencer.”

Your mouth betrayed you as a soft whimper came through the phone. Spencer didn't mean all of this, he couldn't have, but hearing the words still burned you alive.

“I-I…You slow this team down, and I have always thought you were a waste of space. I never loved you…” And if it wasn't for the slight change in pitch right as he said never, Diane would have believed him, but she pulled away glaring at Spencer. 

“Liar.” She hissed at him. “Liar, Liar, LIAR.” 

All you could hear through the phone was a muffled struggle before a shot rang out. You heard a second one and heard Spencer land near the phone. You couldn’t make a single sound, conjuring up the worst scenarios in your head. You could hear him trying to negotiate with Diane. You could hear Maeve struggling to breathe. You heard him begging to take her place, you heard Diane screaming about Thomas Merton. 

You heard Spencer scream out wait before a gun shot rang out through the warehouse. Everyone was silent, for all you knew Spencer was dead. He had been shot agasin and killed, and the last thing you would have ever said to him was that you never wanted to see him again. But then, you heard Spencer start sobbing. The small twisted part of you came back and was so relieved that he was okay, that he was alive. But listening to the man you would die for cry over another woman’s body made your skin turn inside out. You had out your phone on speaker for your rant, leaving it on the counter. You reached for it, ready to hang up. But that’s when you heard your name. 

Spencer had sobbed your name. 

He scrambled over to the phone and frantically repeated your name over and over until you interrupted him. 

“Spencer.”

“I’m so fucking sorry.” He whispered, sitting against the wall unable to look at the bodies on the floor. "I didn't...I didn't mean any of it, I swear."

“Spencer. I–” You inhaled sharply. “It’s selfish but I’m glad you’re still alive.” You whispered out, causing Spencer to let out another sob. 

"Y/N I-I'm so sorry. I-Can you..."

“I-I can’t do this Spence. I’m so sorry.” You whispered, your heart shattering all over again. “I can’t….I’m sorry.” And with that, you hung up, leaving Spencer on the floor, heartbroken and sobbing, truly losing both women he had ever loved in the matter of seconds. 

"You will never know true pain until you look into the eyes of someone you love, and they look away." ~ Anonymous

Next Part

[funnywormz]

(a day late but) for the fandom asks, 3 for both lister and rimmer?

OMG FUCK YES also don't worry abt being late im always up for ask games they're a lot of fun hehe

putting this one under a readmore bc i have a lot to say lol

i will do lister first and rimmer second!

003 | give me a character and i will tell you...

how i feel about this character:

OUGH. i love lister so much. he's my favourite character for sure although rimmer is a close second. he's just such a fun silly guy but with this sad side to him....... i rlly appreciate how he's shown as tough and masculine and yet he's allowed to have hobbies like knitting and cry at romantic movies and care abt his friends without it being mocked. he's not a perfect person but i adore him anyways. very relatable at times as well lol. i also have a massive crush on him i think abt kissing him at least once a day hehehehehe

any/all the people i ship romantically with this character:

definitely rimmer ofc. maybe ace as well??? kinda??? but since ace is still just another rimmer idk if that even counts lmao. basically it's just rimmer

my favourite non-romantic relationship for this character/favourite friendship for this character (im combining these questions bc they're kinda the same thing?):

ouuuuuh probably his friendship with kryten? i love how he genuinely respects kryten and how kryten is so adoring of him. kryten is kinda like a weird mum to him and it's so so funny and cute they're so silly. it makes me happy whenever they interact, esp when kryten coddles him and is sweet with him despite lister being a grown man lmao.

also it's kinda cheating to use them twice but i love lister and rimmer's friendship in a platonic way as well. they're just always hilarious whenever they're onscreen together and the way they bounce off each other is extremely fun

my unpopular opinion about this character:

idk if this is rlly unpopular but i get a little frustrated by his inconsistent characterisation in the show, esp in s8 compared to other seasons. i get that he does whatever the writers think is funniest but sometimes he does or says something and im like ":( lister wouldn't say that......." even though he is literally saying it in canon lol

also i think he needs more love in the fandom maybe. or more fics abt him getting a hug or something. this dude is depressed and lonely as hell and it makes me so sad can rimmer give him a hug PLEASE

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

i wish his relationship with kochanski had gotten a proper resolution/he could move on from her and stop pursuing her romantically....... ive made longer posts abt this before but i just feel like his initial crush on her was just a shallow schoolboy kind of crush and it feels like a disservice to both of them that he's still chasing after her after getting to know her and them clearly not being romantically compatible. like in some episodes they're best friends but then the writing goes back to having lister treat her like an object rather than a person and it irritates me. i wish they could just be friends bc i adore their friendship and when lister interacts with her in a platonic way it's clear that there's such a fun dynamic there but it was utilised so rarely :(

my crossover ship:

ohhhh i don't rlly tend to do crossover ships so this was a hard one....... not rlly a ship more of a friendship but i would love to see him interact with the doctor from dr who lol. ik it's kind of a predictable choice as a crossover bc they're both british sci fi but i think depending on the iteration of the doctor they could either get along rlly well or hate each other and either way it would be very very funny.

i also think it would be fun to do a disco elysium crossover sometime. i would love to know what he'd think of harry and kim, i have a feeling he'd get along rlly well with kim but maybe that's just me

OK NOW I WILL DO RIMSY >:-)

003 | give me a character and i will tell you...

how i feel about this character:

ohhh i hate him but i love him so much. an awful person but a great character and unfortunately very relatable sometimes. i want to hug him and hold him so gently but i also want to put him in a hydraulic press. out of all of the rd characters he's probably the one i think about the most unfortunately. you know how it is

any/all the people i ship romantically with this character:

lister of course! and ig some of the au listers, like the one in the rat universe lol. but really it's just the main lister tbh. i just can't see him with anyone else

my favourite non-romantic relationship/friendship for this character:

sorry but it's lister again lol. like his friendship with lister. their dynamic is just so fun, i think my all time favourite scenes are the ones where they're together....... moonlight and sunlight etc etc etc

my unpopular opinion about this character:

it's a pretty generic opinion but i don't believe that any of his attempts at flirting with women/seeming attracted to women in canon are genuine lol. it always feels very forced and unnatural to me. that man is a deeply closeted and confused gay boy and i can't see him any other way tbh. i think he WANTS to be straight so bad but he is not. not even a little bit

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

i wish his character development would stick more! like ik he has to be bitchy for the comedy and that's fine im not saying he has to suddenly be nice or whatever but it's frustrating to see him grow a little bit as a person or overcome one of his insecurities only to go back to being even worse than before in the very next episode........ he is a little more mellow in later seasons than he was in the earlier ones but not by much, and i feel like things like learning abt his real father and going off to be ace and stuff should have had a real visible impact on him instead of just. not changing anything lol

my crossover ship:

once again. not rlly a ship thing but the disco elysium crossover. i just think it would be funny. he would probably try to schmooze up to kim and harry and get in their good books bc he sees them as being in a position of authority but i think he would secretly hate them so bad and it would probably be kinda obvious lmao. i think kim would absolutely despise him

also i want to lock him in a room with spamton deltarune for a few hours and see who goes insane first

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

AHHHH You're writing Degrassi fics too?! Yesssssss I recently finished a rewatch of TNG and NC and watched Junior High, High, and School's out for the first time. So I've been very much in Degrassi mode!

Craig Manning is possibly my fav character ever in all of Degrassi! Please tell me more about your fic! <3

Degrassi is probably my most beloved, treasured show of all time. I haven't seen Next Class because I never emotionally adjusted to the jump from MTV to Netflix - I might watch it someday, especially because I heard there's a bus crash? and that sounds interesting

I started watching TNG when I was 11/12, and at the time I was watching reruns of Season 6 because the cable network I was watching it on was playing reruns of all the previous seasons in anticipation of the new one - so I watched S6, S7, S8, S9 - to me, those were 'live' cause I didn't know those were reruns at the time

and I watched S10 when it first came out and I watched all of the other seasons and their summer movies when they first came out (and I was very active in the fandom at the time. some of my most fond memories are being in the fandom during S10, S11, and S12, during the Drew, Bianca, Clare, Eli drama - especially during Claire's pregnancy lmao)

to this day, I still have very fond memories of a blog called 'incorrect Degrassi' where - on the same night an episode aired - they would take screenshots of the entire episode and write a memey version of everyone's conversations with each other. and when Claire told Drew that he wasn't the father of her baby, they captioned him saying 'well what am I supposed to do with that World's Best Dad mug that I bought, huh?' - it lives in my head rent free

it's only in recent years that I have gone back and watched the show from S1, and I have watched some of the 80s series. and because I only watched the later seasons, I knew Craig as a cokehead asshole (who was not cool enough to be friends with Pete Wentz, my fucking idol) who broke Ellie's heart, my dear Ellie. but going back and watching the show from the beginning - I fell in love with Craig

When Doves Cry is one of my favourite arcs, named after one of my favourite songs ever, and it just gets to me. And Craig's songs and his singing voice - it makes me fall more in love with him, and uuugh

Even recently, I was rewatching the episode where Liberty gives birth, and Craig is on stage singing a song with the lyrics:

For every mama gone missin' For every papa gone mad

And I don't know who actually wrote the song, but in universe, it is such a perfect melancholic reflection of his life, and it hurts - but it hurts in such a beautiful way.

Anyway - my fic is about abuse. Which is something I have written about before because of personal experience.

I was in my feels, deep in my feels - because like I said, I had a loss in my family, and I was feeling a weird sense of empathy toward my abuser because we share that loss, and this fic just came to mind.

Idk if I have ever talked about this before, but people have comfort characters, and I also have comfort locations? Like - the urge to write about a certain character in a certain location as comforting. And how that location can exude comfort in a fic.

And in this case, I was really drawn to Craig's garage as a comfort location. The locations in TNG all really exude comfort for me personally, but Craig's garage is a big one - it's cozy, it's worn-in, and it feels welcoming. It feels like you can go there anytime and there's no pressure.

So I wrote a fic where the reader character is fleeing from her abuser and Craig finds her hiding in the garage, and they talk a bit - and I wanted to structure it a bit like an episode of Degrassi? and have this be the first time the reader finds out about Craig's past of abuse. and Craig is like "I'm not gonna pressure you to tell anyone because I know what it's like, but you should tell someone" - but then Craig sees the abuser at a school event, and he snaps. and he starts wailing on the guy, and everyone thinks that it's Craig being irrational and violent because of his BPD

and I was also inspired by Craig's protectiveness over Manny after the flashing video came out, and I just felt comfort in that.

yeah - it's a really personal fic, but I feel like fics like this deserve to be published, because someone else might find comfort in it. and stories like this deserve to be told (I might post a snippet of it and see what people think? idk)

[patienceyields]

I Need A Hero: Some Last Thoughts on Shiro the Hero

Before S8’s premier, I’m sitting here like a good Shiro stan, feeling proud of my boy’s development. And feeling so grateful that we met this Shiro through Voltron, and that they had to bring him back to us — this amazing character who represents so much as a symbol on so many different levels — a gay icon; a man of color main lead; a disabled action hero; a trauma survivor who overcame so much adversity. As someone who gets up and fights and fights and fights. 

It was a pleasure seeing Shiro’s arc come full circle in S7 with him returning to Earth to captain the Atlas, with Shiro getting his own mech connected to his own quintessence/heroic destiny — one that he has a mental bond with much in the same way he had with Black. It is exciting to know that he is still a paladin in his own way, that he is still able to defend the universe alongside his old and new teams. Shiro is in his element again — a leader, a source of inspiration, a teacher, a mentor, a hero — a Champion of the universe (and not just in a Galra-run gladiator fighting pit). Going into S8 I hope this is something he can continue to offer those around him — both to the Voltron paladins and to his own crew of the Atlas as they go into this last epic battle.

Shiro as Atlas, the greek mythological figure that holds up the heavens; and Shiro as an atlas — a guide, a map, a template, a source of direction. Shiro has been a supportive hand, a guide and guiding light to his teammates, and his death and survival have been a fundamental part of his team’s destinies.

“I don’t know what’s more fulfilling than being a paladin.” — Kuron’s words carry the essence of Shiro’s heart, the fact that he gets so much fulfillment from his work to save others. What would be greater than being a warrior fighting for good in every universe? Being of service to a greater power/mission, helping people, defending people? Shiro’s journey toward the Atlas is his journey back toward his inner power, strength, and heart work, allowing him to take his own advice and to “Go. Be Great.”

I think a lot about Shiro as a survivor — of illness, of torture, of enslavement, of medical experimentation, of imprisonment. There are just some characters that teach you how to survive, how to keep going in the face of the impossible. Shiro is that impossible boy. The boy who never should have survived (was never meant to), and I think he understands this. Every day is a gift, and every fight is worth having if it can bring freedom to the universe.

I think a lot about how Shiro knew from the beginning that he didn’t have long to make his dreams a reality, knowing that Kerberos would be his last chance at piloting a mission (a dream he had since reading about the Calypso mission which made him want to become a pilot) — the three-year mission to Kerberos was his last chance to see the universe and to live life on his own terms. I think a lot about what that mission ultimately meant for Shiro — capture, death, resurrection. But also a life-altering bigger destiny.

I think about Shiro and his relationship to his body — illness, disability, visual sacrifice, as well as a place for summoning his reserves of unbelievable strength (physical and mental). Shiro’s body was/is a weapon — honed that way by the Garrison first, and then by Haggar and her Druids. Shiro’s body was always going to be something he would willingly sacrifice for the larger mission — space exploration or war. Shiro has been a clone, a double, and he’s been thousands of bodies falling through space — we may never really know what he feels when he looks at himself, knowing how his body has been used as a Galra gladiator and as a project by Haggar to infiltrate into his team. Shiro's trauma has always rumbled just below the surface but made itself visible in his physical/bodily scars (his missing arm/the stress changing his hair color) and through his mental scars — his manifestations of PTSD. And Shiro’s body has so often been out of his control — due to his illness, his enslavement, and his time in the Black Lion’s consciousness. But now having a new body (and a new arm), and having a new chance to enact his heroic calling through the mind-body-spirit connection he has to the Atlas, is so important. He can use his body to once again guide his team toward saving people.

I think about Shiro and worthiness — his childhood dreams of space, of making a difference, and then fighting to prove himself worthy in the face of his illness (to never thinking he would live long enough to follow his dreams, and to having to prove to himself and others that he could succeed despite his illness). I think later to his time as slave when he had all choice taken from him, when he was forced to hurt others to survive. I think of the moments when he doubted his worthiness as a paladin because of that time in the arena, to the moments when he thought himself broken or a monster for what happened to him (Sendak’s words echoing from S1). But now he has a chance to save, to prove his worth again.

I think about Shiro and his team — “I had help.” Those words always floor me. This show is about teamwork, found family, and the incredible bonds forged when people come together for a common goal. Shiro voicing that he couldn’t do it alone, that his team helped him to keep going despite all he went through is so important. And then we remember all the ways Shiro supported, protected, guided, and mentored his team. Shiro had to learn to forgive himself for the loss of his first team, forgive himself for any danger faced by the young paladins he’d been able to lead into battle during his time in Black. I love that moment in S7 when he’s so dang proud of the paladins after they were able to connect with their lions. And I am never not thinking about his life-changing, incredible friendship and mentorship of Keith, which set the stage for Keith as the current Black paladin. Shiro saw a leader in Keith and this, my friends, changed everything. Shiro’s belief in one boy and this one boy’s belief in him would change the universe. The interconnectedness of their leadership arcs and storylines are a core part of the overall Voltron story. Shiro’s leadership journey came full circle with the dynamic team-up between Voltron and Atlas, allowing Shiro to find his own path toward leadership again, one that mirrors his own rebirth/rebuilt nature and his own heroic destiny.

I think about Shiro’s words in S1 when Allura told him they didn’t have his Black paladin bayard — “I guess I’ll just have to make do.” I feel like this was something Shiro had probably done all his life. Figured out a way to make do, how to fight with what he had (grit, perseverance, hard work), even if he was limited in resources. For him to become one of the best pilots of his generation, breaking orbital velocity records!!!, and to become the youngest pilot ever to lead a mission into space (what could he have been: 21, 22, 23?!) — what sacrifices this must have taken, what inner strength/perseverance. The words he said to Keith in S7E1’s flashback say so much — “People can accomplish incredible things if they’re willing to put in the time and effort…” I think about how this alongside his mantra of “patience yields focus” must have fueled a teenage Shiro in his dedication to his role as a soldier, as a pilot, as a leader. To be the best he could be no matter what.  

I think a lot about Shiro and family and home and what comes next — about Shiro (seemingly) not having a blood “family” to send a video back to in S7, and not having an image to focus on outside of the Kerberos mission in S1 when everyone was envisioning something in their heads when they were trying to connect as Voltron. I think for so long Shiro had his mission(s), ones he didn’t think he would live beyond. So the idea of anything or anyone to return to on Earth didn’t exist. I think a lot about what it meant for him to have found family with Keith, with the Holts, and with the rest of the paladins, and what his greater role as a Captain (or Admiral) of the Atlas will be post-war and what his role as part of the new Garrison leadership could be, teaching and mentoring future pilots and leaders.

I think a lot about Shiro and his stoicism and his vulnerability — in many ways he is your fearless, ever-steady, stoic hero figure, groomed for leadership. I have a friend who served in the military who talks about how as males in the military they are taught a certain kind of masculine buttoned-up, silent stoicism, and they are taught to regulate emotions to the back burner, not to let feelings surface, and to be in control of their emotions at all times. I see this in Shiro as he works to present a calm demeanor to the world. We don't know much about Shiro's backstory before his early mentorship of Keith, and the end of his relationship with Adam, and the impact of his illness on his chances of going on the Kerberos mission. What we can see on screen is a natural leader, but also someone who tries his best to be level-headed, and to project a cool, calm, strong, patient, and self-controlled demeanor that can help his team focus on their mission. Shiro watches, observes, and doesn’t openly show much of his own vulnerability/fragility — he’s been shown to be hyper-vigilant at times, and some of his strong professionalism and guardedness are likely forms of protection much like his uniform can be seen as his outward protective armor (whether this is a response stemming from his military training, from his PTSD/trauma, from dealing with his chronic illness, we can only guess). For his team he aims to always appear strong and reliable, which is why it’s powerful when we see him with Keith, letting go of some of the outer “always together” facade, letting his guard down, allowing himself to be vulnerable, and finally feeling a sense of trust, safety, and security with someone else.

Shiro, the impossible boy. Who never expected to survive his most famous mission, but would go on to be a major part of the story of how the universe was saved. I am excited to see him in S8, with his new lease on life, his calling in full effect once again, fighting beside so many people he himself inspired and taught — all working together as a team to defend the universe.

“We can do this. We have to believe in ourselves. We can't give up. We are the universe's only hope. Everyone is relying on us. We can't fail! We won't fail!” This speech he gave in S1E1 was probably the speech he gave to himself during his darkest hours growing up, during his time in the fighting pit, during his time in the Black Lion’s consciousness, during whatever moments he allowed himself to feel fear or doubt or any sense of insecurity. Words meant to inspire and propel into action. I am looking forward to Shiro’s inspirational words that will set his team off in S8. And I’m looking forward to him and the rest of the paladins winning this epic war.

Thank you Voltron for giving us Captain Takashi Shirogane, such a legendary defender.

[fluttersheisnolongeractive]

OK so

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm i want to rewrite bride of discord so here are notes of what I want to happen

-How it starts is fine, discord escaping being stoned is a good premise for now

-discord doesn’t ask for a bride jfhesfhufsh i feel like thats too literal or whatever ofc they get married but this is more just about them slooooooowly falling in love because I hate fluttershy feeling somewhat obligated to love him

-she finds him in the everfree a few years after his escape because he wants to surprise the ponies yadda yadda, she is slightly frightened but its s8 fluttershy so shes more just surprised than anything.

-They actually talk and become “friends” much to discords dismay

-they both feel strange because they like each other??? Wtf??

-ESPECIALLY discord because not only has no one ever been nice to him, but like had a nice conversation with him??

-happens a few more times before the gala

-I want it to be like romeo and juliet hero/villian type thing and its secret

-He still comes back at the gala and fluttershy is like wtf binch but not outwardly she doesn’t want anyone to know she met up with him

-He still likes her singing tho eheehehehe

-so hes like yea chaos and fluttershy sneaks away that night to slap the shit out of him

-shes upset because she had begun to see him as sort of a friend, but also realises that he wasn’t just going to give up his ways overnight

-discord actually sort of feels bad when she confronts him and is extremely confused

-he tells her he’ll strike a deal with her friends for land and all that

-and shes a tad suspicious but is like okayyyyyy bestie

-tho he likes raining chaos wherever he wants, he genuinely wants a space to be himself, so he doesn’t really have any plans to try and take over when the deal is made for now

-the story from here focuses on their relationship enemies to friends to lovers, if u will

-fluttershy hates keeping it a secret, because she comes to realize he's an amazing person??? Oh my god?? But felt for some reason her friends just wouldn’t see what she did

-they see each other like everyday and its really nice and epic

-fluttershy can’t believe she ever felt anything but adoration for him omg

-discord actually opens up about his past and how absolutely shitty he felt because nobody has ever given him the time of day and it makes fluttershy SICK and so angry and crying and angst

-twigy and friends are always wondering where fluttershy is running off too tho she usually visits him at night ehehheh

-they both feel extremely comfy around each other and it throws both of the through the ringer fluttershy has NEVER felt so seen and heard and understood in her life and vise versa. They are DORKS and its CUTE

-when they are together they collectively have one single brain cell

-fluttershy makes the first move she has big dick energy

-discord has never really been in control, it’s what he’s been chasing his whole life, so to feel ACTUALLY comfortable with his guard down with her makes him ten times more soft adn hes like ph go oh fuvk she she she purr purr purr

-fluttershy actually stands up for discord against her friends because she loves him duh

-discord likes her animals she gives him a cat and it’s literally bingus

-idk that all i got right now but hold me to this i WILL write this. i just wanted to get the ideas documented and shit idk

feedback is appreciated besties i wanna know what u think!!! also no disrespect to disneyfanatic there were just a LOT of things i would have done differently so i want to work with that a little without the stories being too similar akfjksmxm

[catherineflowers29]

Hi! I'm the anon from before! Oh, thank God. I was worried I upset you because JB shippers get so defensive when someone is critical of their ship or Jaime (btw I'm a Brienne stan before a JB shipper.)

I think your story is so great and feminist... the fact that Brienne was allowed to be angry at Jaime and make the choice to fuck Addam and still be the doting mother and a warrior who inspires women (also thank you for no boring Sansa/Brienne friendship). I loved how she said "fuck that" to any of Jaime's weakass explanations and whenever that bitch was like, "are we good? have you forgiven me? can we fuck?" and she just went like "wtf no you're the worst." like YES. It fucking bothered me the way those S8 apologists defended Jaime's "addiction" and liked the offensive disgusting white book scene. FFS LET WOMEN BE ANGRY. LET WOMEN HAVE A STORYLINE THAT ISN'T TIED TO SOME GARBAGE MAN. LET WOMEN SLEEP WITH MEN INSTEAD OF THEIR ASSIGNED LOVE INTERESTS AND LET THEM ENJOY IT TOO. LET WOMEN BE BITTER AND UNFORGIVING AND COMPASSIONATE AND MOTHERLY AND BRAVE AND AWESOME AT THE SAME TIME. ALL THESE THINGS CAN EXIST IN ONE WOMAN. IT'S ALLOWED. AND BRIENNE IS NO BETTER OR WORSE IF SHE CHOOSES TO BE UNFORGIVING. I HATE DUDEBROS.

I don't think you should be unhappy with your story! Your story has amazing dialogue and internal thoughts, well-rounded characters, and Brienne of Tarth being awesome. If anything, you were too nice to Jaime by having him be happy and giving him a purpose. You should subvert my expectations, lovely author! Don't have Brienne forgive Jaime and get into a relationship with him! Make her kick him to the curb! Break his heart! Piss on his corpse! Probably JB shippers will be mad at you but I've got your back. The REAL Brienne fans know that Jaime did Brienne so dirty, and no bs addiction or duty can justify that!

Ok that's enough... and WTF why would people think your fic is controversial. IMO we should bully the writers who had Brienne easily forgive Jaime and take him back just like that. Fuck them all. I only respect YOU. You got me into shipping Addam/Bri and also validated my anger. Also I was busy, didn't know you updated your fic. Gonna read it now. Not gonna lie, I'll be a little upset if she chooses Jaime because I thought the glass throwing scene was written to show the tragic end of their relationship and how there's no coming back, but I did want to know your thoughts.

Bless you, kind reader. 

I’ve had a lot of thoughts about why my fic is considered controversial. The subject matter in it really isn’t that “dark” in the traditional fic sense. There’s no rape or major character death, it’s not torture porn or anything. And yet, there was rage about it on Reddit, it was banned from being discussed on Discord, and a BNF decided (very hurtfully, I might add) to call me out on Twitter because she had formed a judgement based solely on my tags. I have also been blocked by numerous people in the fandom that I have never so much as had an interaction with. I’ve also had a LOT of shitty comments and anons here and there from people who seem really angry that I had the temerity to write this fic.

That genuinely surprised me. I knew it wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea - what fic is? But there have been times when I have felt like a total pariah and not wanted to interact with other members of the fandom in case they feel the same way. Whatever way you slice it, that’s shitty behaviour.

Largely, when we ship something, particularly when it’s an OTP, we think of that relationship as an ideal. It’s escapism, it’s perfect in ways that our real relationships never can be. I think that’s why, for so many of us, 8.04 was really devastating. Jaime and Brienne are also a ship about acceptance and understanding, of a deep connection that transcends surface impressions - they both see each other for who they really are. That means a LOT to us, I think. I think we all long for that kind of relationship and exploring it in our fandom gives all of us so much happiness. We are in love with their love.

In their portrayal of the JB relationship, D&D ABSOLUTELY got that wrong. I absolutely do not dispute that. I think a LOT of people were angry with me because they confused what I was writing as being supportive of D&D’s take in some way, because I treated it as canon. Some writers were able to paper over the end of the show, dismiss it as bad writing and move on, or write fic where Jaime changes his mind, Brienne forgives him, and then they carry on with what we wanted.

I just couldn’t do that. God knows I tried. But if I had been in Brienne’s position, I absolutely would have been as pissed as fuck about what Jaime did. I don’t accept that he went back for Cersei as a brother, or that Brienne wasn’t crying for herself but only for him and his lost honour. Being dumped HURTS, particularly when you loved someone and thought you had a future, and then he walks out in the middle of the night without saying goodbye. Brienne had SO MUCH backstory about being hurt and humiliated by men, having the first man who loved her, the man she gave her virginity to, treat her that way would fuck her up.

I’m not saying that anyone who disagrees with me is wrong, and I never have. I don’t have the definitive knowledge of these characters, none of us do. I only have my take, my experience, my style.

I just couldn’t write about their relationship as being idyllic and perfect any more. Is it a reflection of who I am as a person and as a writer? That’s certainly been the accusation several dozen times. Maybe. It’s certainly a reflection of how I feel women put up with too much shit from men and are expected to be kind and forgiving in return. I HATE that with a passion. 

Angry women are really controversial. They make people of all genders feel very uncomfortable. Sexually confident women do, too, and I think my story was the perfect storm of those two elements, really. People who want escapism from realistic relationships where people don’t live happily-ever-after really took exception to its very existence.

I don’t hold it against anyone for it not being their cup of tea, or if they disagree with my take. God knows there are kajillions of fics out there that aren’t my bag too. Things I’ve rolled my eyes at, things I’ve fundamentally disagreed with, things I’ve been horrified to read. But not once have I ever felt the need to be a public douchebag about it. I’ve never felt the need to make a writer stop writing.

So thank you so much for taking the time to send me this. It does make a really nice change to get an anon be so positive and affirming to me as a writer!

I really hope that you enjoy the end of the story. And that you will enjoy the reboot in a few weeks where we stick with Brienne’s POV and I turn the volume down on some of the elements that I don’t like about the story myself. Not the rage though, or the Addam banging. That’s staying! 

[sotorubio]

Can you elaborate on "the li's development would be smth ordinary for once"? That sounded pretentious of me sorry lol, but I don't see whats not ordinary about it rn? I want the focus to be on Bilals life but if her mystery sadness is connected to her ex, that works with her being LI (both of them are still inexperienced tbh unless you count 1 short ex = experienced; they'll probs awkwardly explore dating together), and if its her fam, they'll bond over that. What would you consider ordinary? 👀

post-answer addition: this got SO long for absolutely no real reason i'm so sorry smfjdkjdd

oh yeah that's a good question i should've probably phrased it better! by ordinary here i meant that it would've been nice to see smth so common as a first ever relationship (at least for jo) like when they get together that would be the "obstacle" they have to tackle by communicating & exploring their feelings

jo being sad abt her ex or having trouble w family ofc wouldn't be too outlandish or dramatic or anything & u have good points abt it fitting bilal's storyline as well! so that's not out of the ordinary as a concept but i was thinking how they always bring in these Issues & Struggles™️ for the LIs even tho the main character already has plenty to go around n i wish we could have an LI who's actually in a good place bc w a show like skam u only have 10 weeks to go through everything n u can't do time jumps etc so to me personally it's getting a bit tiring to see how these not-main-characters have problems that would be worth exploring in an entire season (tho smth like being upset over an ex ofc wouldn't require 10 weeks to go through) it's not always bad but it's getting repetitive imo

i guess for me it boils down to the fact that we've known jo for 2 seasons now even longer than bilal n even tho we've gotten Some information abt her family & life outside of lamifex there's rly never been much indication of her going through Rough Times. AND that alone ofc isn't bad like ofc the side characters should also have a life n it would be boring if we never knew anything abt their personal struggles just bc they're side characters n for example the ex thing couldn't have come up before s8 anyway but the fact that this mysterious side of jo is brought up Now n never before kinda comes off as them wanting the LI to have development other than the relationship. which obviously is great bc they should be more than just an LI n not just exist there (cough s6 maya cough) but it doesn't seem like this is smth they felt the need to write bc they care abt Jo specifically. it's just that she's the LI n therefore she needs Plot.

n that's kinda what my issue is n what i was thinking w the "ordinary" part like jo never having dated before + bilal apparently being a casanova smfjd it'd be an interesting/easy/naturally written conflict that would develop jo's character (learning to trust, being vulnerable which she almost never is, earnestly talking abt her feelings instead of just making jokes etc) without having to come up w some family drama for no reason. also it would've served as continuity from s7 if they had brought up her inexperience then n it had been "resolved" in s8

but that's rly just my opinion like if there's gonna be smth super dramatic happening in jo's life i'll be annoyed but if it's just her ex or smth minor i'm not gonna claim it's bad writing or anything! i just personally find it irritating that whatever jo's going through is treated as this sort of mystery/smth to anticipate when tbh i couldn't care less no offense to jo at all it's just that we're first watching bilal n his brother become homeless children n suddenly we're like hmm why is jo crying tune in next week to find out skfjslfj so by ordinary i mean that sometimes if the li has go have smth noteworthy going on in their life it'd just be smth they come forth with so we could get to the part where it actually develops the characters. now it's like. even if it IS smth as mundane as her being sad abt her ex they're still turning it into some secret we have to find out along the way which to Me is unnecessary but that's more of a personal stance (also probably isn't As much of an issue for ppl not following in real time)

also yeah u have a good point abt them both being inexperienced they're still teens after all just bc that one girl is pining after bilal doesn't mean he's like actually knowledgeable abt serious dating or anything so it's not like we won't see any normal awkward teenage romance! i just wish that theme could've been more central since so many ppl were happy abt jo representing them as a teenager who doesn't have Any dating experience despite most of her peers being in relationships

[vices-aand-virtues]

My Top 10 Shows of the Decade

My top 10 shows of the decade, criteria being it must have started and finished between late 2009-2019. Nothing that is currently airing or that started before late 2009 but ended in the 2010s will be included.

10. Broad City — fully empowered women (mostly) living in NYC and barely scraping by. Just gals bein’ pals with iconic zingers and gif-able moments. A true testament to the power of friendship and how important it is to have someone who can make you laugh.

9. Hannibal — brief vegetarian stints each season because who KNOWS what kind of meat you’re really eating!! Beautiful cinematography and soundtrack. Stellar acting and cast. A great take on a story we think we know.

8. Poldark — *INTENSE VIOLIN BOWING* The intro itself is *chef’s kiss* The development of Demelza is truly a sight to behold. Her storylines alone are enough to keep me captivated, but Ross scything shirtless definitely isn’t bad either.

7. Game of Thrones — wish it was higher up, but after S7-S8, hard to justify it when these other shows nailed all seasons. Nevertheless, even having read the books, and rewatched multiple times, I still find myself on the edge of my seat, often hoping for better outcomes.

6. Parenthood — when you cry the entire final season, I think that means something is going right. Parenthood was my comfort show for awhile bc it has the perfect amount of humor, feel good moments, and “I need to cry so I need to be triggered by something” emotional storylines. A truly stellar cast, but Mae Whitman is a gem especially, and Joy Bryant’s Jasmine is truly great. And Lauren Graham goes without saying.

5. Jane the Virgin — had a few downs in the later seasons that I didn’t love, but ultimately I loved everything about this show. Telenovela tropes? How to deal with religious guilt? Deep exploration of the modern concept of soulmates??? Yes pls #rogeliomybrogelio

4. Veep — crying laughing is hard to get me to do, but I did it with veep easily. Sometimes it was eerie how close to home it got, but it always maintained its comedic integrity without feeling preachy.

3. The Durrells — Greece!!! An English family relocates after living miserably in England following the death of the family patriarch. Shenanigans abound. Absolutely beautiful shots of the scenery and lovely cinematography. Great writing. Love how they found a way to satisfy their fans without it feeling like fan service. Though my only qualm is that I’ve never thought I would cheer so much for someone to get a divorce or cheat on their S/O. Also, how can a finale + final season be so, so wonderful and poignant and do everyone’s stories a good justice, but still completely and utterly break my heart!! Historical actuary be DAMNED I want my post-WW2 Christmas special with all the reunions (perhaps UNIONS???) we deserve.

2. Fleabag — very hard to decide between these last two. Fleabag I stumbled into bc of gifs online and a love of Andrew Scott. I had literally no idea what the plot was or what to expect, yet my expectations were still exceeded in ever conceivable way. It’s the perfect combination of dark humor, reality, drama, and lightheartedness. I’m torn between wanting more and PWB’s perfect and heart-crushing ending.

1. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend — ultimately my favorite bc, as a musician, I so, so appreciate the work put into creating the outstanding songs and musical numbers. I’ve listened to this soundtrack for six straight hours in the car before. Not every song is a banger, but they’re all bops. Then the therapist in me adores how mental health is portrayed and discussed. And the diversity!! I put off watching the last 3 episodes bc I couldn’t bear to be finished with the show. I was having a real shroedinfsr moment — it’s neither finished nor unfinished if I haven’t watched it.

Honorable mention:

1. Bojack Horseman

2. Broadchurch

3. Downton Abbey

4. Upstairs, Downstairs

5. Sherlock

House of Cards would get a mention but I don’t wanna glorify K-Space.

Also Parks and Rec started early 2009 or else it would be on the list.

[spnfanficpond]

December Angel Fish Awards

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle or Mana to check and make sure we got your submission.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE DECEMBER’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @princessmisery666​

Gone (oneshot) by @there-must-be-a-lock​

@impala-dreamer​’s end of year quickie challenge was a great one but this on by @there-must-be-a-lock​ stuck with me. So much emotion in under 500 words :) 

Why Can’t There Be A Santa (oneshot) by @risingphoenix761​

This was kinda heart breaking and fluffy and sweet all at the same. I love me some fluff!! 

Who’d Have Thought (oneshot) by @firefly-in-darkness​

Daisy got me all hot and bothered with this one and then unexpectedly pulled my heart out of my chest!! Love a surprise ending and a bit of smut!! 

Nominated by @flamencodiva​

A Series of Firsts (series) by @fictionalabyss​

I love her story a series of firsts! it is amazing to see the ups and downs and the alternate endings.

Wayward Hearts (series) by @foreverwayward​

This has to be my all time series re-write! I think Brittney captures the story so well and is able to weave Riley into the story as if she is actually a part of the show! Brittney does a good job in her storytelling and the romance between Dean and Riley is so innocent and pure! 

Moonstone (series) by @impala-dreamer​

This is one of my favorite stories by Beka! it was one of the first ones and it wasn’t the last I have read of her work. I love the dynamic and the story she wove in. I’m also always a sucker for a hero and protective Dean. 

His Property (series) by @negans-lucille-tblr​

This is an amazing fic! I love the bdsm and the way Dean is set up in this! It is a great and hot story as well as a well woven story of angst and unrequited love in the underlying reading. The twists and turns of this story also have you on the edge of your seat! 

Nominated by @wildfirewinchester​

About A Boy (series) by @percywinchester27​

The series is amazing, and it perfectly encapsulates Dean’s character. It also has enough hints here and there where you always think you know what’s going on (sometimes you do, sometimes you don’t), and then there’s a twist and you get to find out whether or not you were right! The idea is so original and I’ve never read a fic with the same premise. I’m always so excited when I see there’s a new part and I always have to read it right then and there.

Nominated by @sorenmarie87​

Five Minutes (series) by @idabbleincrazy​

This fic started out sweet, moved into angst and somehow rounded out with its ending.  I won’t spoil it for those who want to read it but it was worth it :)

What Hurts The Most (oneshot) by @iflostreturntosteverogers​

Carrie is great with writing angst and this fic, even though it was for a challenge, managed to do that with only 500 words.

Flip (oneshot) by @luci-in-trenchcoats​

It’s no secret that I love A/B/O fics but I think this is the first one that I’ve read that involves body-swapping.   

Nominated by @manawhaat​

Who’d Have Thought (oneshot) by @firefly-in-darkness​

Ok, the smut is lovely. Smut is always lovely, but what earns this a nom is the last fucking line. I was slapped in the face, hard, with the goddamn feelings. And as much as I hate that, I’m also a SLUT for that shit! 

A Different Kind of Therapy (series) by @saxxxology​

JESUS CHRISTO. There are only three chapters out right now but the whole premise behind this is just FASCINATING! I’ve read about different kind of meditative sex therapy, but the way this unfolds is really unique and honestly, I feel like this should be a fucking thing in the real world. It’s definitely worth checking out. 

Nominated by @lovetusk​

I’d like to nominate Special One (oneshot) by @evansrogerskitten​  & The marvelous lands of Sam’s chest (oneshot)  by @focusonspn​ for the simple fact that I am a Sam girl and a total sucker for not only Alpha Sam, but also his chest hair. Yum.

Nominated by @impala-dreamer​

Renegade (oneshot) by @princessmisery666​  

Very nicely done!! The descriptions were lovely and I heard Billie’s voice so clearly!

Bite Me (oneshot) by @maddiepants​

OMGOMGOMG me toooooo!!! This is just perfectly delicious and naughty and… sames. Sames… the TEETH!!!!!

Ghost Rider (oneshot) by @squirrelnotsam​ 

I LOVED THIS SO MUCH! Such a clever idea! Like, of course he would attach himself like that! And he’s still so …DEAN. protective and sassy and Y/N is perfect. I loved this a whole bunch!!

Nominated by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters​

Strong leader type having to physically fall down in order for people to see they’re exhausted (oneshot) by @imagineteamfreewill​

I decided to start the new year off right by finding my way back into the world of tumblr spn fics after an unplanned hiatus. And what better way to do so than by spreading the love through these amazing awards? This is the first fic I came across and I immediately fell in love. Anything that emphasizes how amazing and hardworking Sam is - and how he deserves a break and all the love in the world - is something I’ll defend with my life.

Vision of Love (series) by @princessmisery666​

Second fic I wanted to put a spotlight on is this prequel to an amazing series by an amazing author. I remember reading parts of this before I went MIA and I cannot wait to finish the series and find out what happened now that I’m back. For now, I’m reveling in the wonder that is this fluffy prequel.

The marvelous lands of Sam’s chest (oneshot)  by @focusonspn​

If this isn’t a mood, I don’t know what is. It’s hot, it’s sweet, it’s everything I’ll ever need. Yes, it is indeed so good that I felt the urge to rhyme.

Unstoppable (oneshot) by @evansrogerskitten​

Talk about sexual tension. I love the idea of the reader hiding her true nature and the consequences that had. On top of that, the author’s writing is amazing as always.

Christmas Gone Wrong (oneshot) by @peridottea91​

Next up on my mission to spread the love is this fun little domestic oneshot. I love the bickering and the jokes. Also, now I’m craving cookies.

Masterlist by @pink1031​

I was so excited when I saw this author on the new pond members list, meaning I could nominate her. She’s an amazing writer and I couldn’t possibly pick just one fic to nominate, so I went for the entire masterlist instead. Besides a talented writer, she’s also just an absolute gem who works hard and deserves to be recognized for it.

Nominated by @slytherkins

Recompense (oneshot) by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Pretty tasty. Kinda makes me want to piss Dean off. (But that might just be my inner Brat talking.) <3

Nominated by @thelittleredwhocould​/ @samsexualdeancurious​

Old Man (oneshot) @manawhaat 

This fic is a companion/sequel/alternate ending to one of my own fics and I LOVE it. I was so excited when Mana came to me with it. Some good old fashioned Alpha!John/Omega!Reader smut. So, so good.

Lucid Lies (oneshot) by @manawhaat 

Fucking love this fic. So, so good. I’m a sucker for a good djinn-related story cos they’re the perfect vessel for the best angst and this is no exception.

Maybe (oneshot) by @manawhaat 

Read this if you want to cry cos this has ALL the feels. All of them.

A Bed is a Bed (series) by @saxxxology​

I think this one is inspired by a play and Saxxy was texting me when she planned it out. So, so good. Saxxy does a great job setting the scene and unf the smut. *heart eyes*

About a Boy (series) by @percywinchester27​ 

I’m in loooooove with this series. I’ve never been big on young!Winchester fics but the premise of this is so good and the payoff is even better. I can’t wait to find out what happens next.

A stranger in need (oneshot) @percywinchester27​ 

I love the AU in this fic and I’m not gonna tell you what it is cos that would give everything away! This is just so good. Sam is such a sweetheart and I just adore him.

Caught (series) by @thecleverdame​ 

I’m just dying for the next chapter of this fic! The concept pulled me in immediately. There’s only two chapters on Tumblr so far but omg I just. Love it.

This is How (oneshot) by @mrswhozeewhatsis​ 

Angsty angsty angsty angst. Love it. I’m not the biggest Amelia fan but I this peak into Sam’s thought process and feelings at the beginning of s8. So good.

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

As with the BFAs, these are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

[extreme-technicality]

does talking to an anon help about ninjago help? cuz I'm down

DHDKCKGSC YES IT DOES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OFFERING YOUR SERVICES

Okay now that I know I won’t be clogging people’s dashes buckle the fuck in my dude and I should stress that I literally would not be talking about this as much as I will be if I didn’t genuinely enjoy the show. I’m gonna go season by season and just Rant

S1 has the serpentine as the bbeg and like, as far as villains go they’re p lit. They’re early enough that they haven’t been done to hell, things are fresh, the characters and dynamics are being fleshed out, and all in all s1 is a pretty solid season. There’s some fuckery that gets brought up re: how the FUCK aging works and what the actual timeline of Ninjago is and how Wu and Garmadon fit into that timeline, fuckery that LITERALLY NEVER GETS RESOLVED IN A SATISFYING WAY BC ITS REVEALED IN A LATER SEASON (s8, dw we’ll get there lmao) THAT THE ONLY REASON THE FIRST SPINJITSU MASTER, WU, AND GARMADON LIVED AS LONG AS THEY DID IS CUZ THEYRE BASICALLY DEMIGODS AND ITS IMPLIED THAT LLOYD WILL ALSO LIVE FOR A LONG ASS TIME WHICH MEANS ONE DAY HES GONNA OUTLIVE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED WHICH IS A FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT AT NIGHT But anyway I digress, s1 also coincidentally introduces Lloyd (he wasn’t in the pilot episodes that set up the rest of the series) and the existence of Evil Dad Garmadon.

S2 is where Garmadon starts acting a lot more Evil and a lot less Dad. He’s the main antagonist for that season, and I actually read somewhere that the show was originally slated to end after s2 which high key explains the fuckery of literally every single season after this lmaooooo. Much like s1, I really can’t find much to complain about, the first two seasons are pretty decent as far as I can remember

Season. Fucking. Three. Where the fuck do I start??? I hate season three for entirely personal reasons revolving around the STUPID GODDAMN ROMANCE WRITING. okay lemme back up and explain a thing first so, Jay is dating Nya and they’re fine, they’re going steady, aND THEN????? THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON INTRODUCES BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE FUCKERY FOR ZERO GODDAMN REASON, BITCH I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES AND I HATE THEM EVEN MORE WHEN THEYRE DONE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!!! AND THEN. AS IF THAT WERENT ENOUGH. THEY SHOEHORNED A ROBOT ROMANCE BETWEEN ZANE AND PIXAL AND I KNOW I RANTED ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT I DIDNT GO INTO ENOUGH DETAIL!!!! THEY MADE THE OTHER NINJA OOC IN ORDER TO PROP UP THEIR SHIP!!!!!! AND AT ONE POINT ZANE GOES “its like we were…made for each other” AND I HAD TO FUCUCJDHVE I HAD TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BRO, IM SO TIRED!!!! NO THE FUCK YOU WERENT!!!!!! YOU WERE MADE FOR YOU AND PIXAL WAS MADE FOR PIXAL AND IF YALLS WANNA BANG BOLTS THATS FINE BUT DONT IMPLY THAT EITHER OF YOU WERE MADE INCOMPLETE!!!! THATS AN INSULT TO YOUR MAKERS AND YOURSELVES, MOVE ON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. anyway that season also killed Zane (for the first time, but not the last) (spoiler alert lmao) and like, not to be an emotional little shit but I did cry a bit at his funeral.

S4 is honestly one of my favorites, even though the romance crimes continue (the love triangle bullshit is continuing and honestly I maintain that Cole, Nya, and Jay should all have gotten together and in my personal canon they DID, and also Kai has a forced romance) the VILLAIN makes up for it imo. He’s campy!! He’s funny!! He’s a clown!! He’s serious enough that if he says “I’m gonna kill you” HE MEANS IT and that’s so fucking refreshing!!!! S4 is honestly 8/10 just for the villain alone, don’t like that it retconned the SHIT out of the elemental masters and how many different elements there are TO master but eh, it’s ninjago, shit is stupid.

S5 was…interesting? OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT S3 INTRODUCED A GARMADON WHO WAS A LOT LESS EVIL AND A LOT MORE DAD, HONESTLY I THOUGHT IT TOOK A LOT OF THE FLAVOR OUT BUT THATS JUST ME LMAOOO. anyway s5 killed Garmadon, and I was a little sad cuz I like him okay??? I just think he’s NEAT, he’s got big dad energy, he was teaching Lloyd some shit that just got DROPPED and literally was never brought up again which is honestly a theme in Ninjago. Ninjago drinking game: take a shot every time they introduce a plot point or ability and drop it at or before the end of the season. WHICH THEY ALSO DID IN S5 WITH A DIFFERENT POWER ACTUALLY, so all the ninja are masters of Spinjitsu right, well s5 introduced the concept of Airjitsu which only Spinjitsu masters can learn and it lets them FLY and they used that for seasons 5 and 6 and then they nEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDVE COME IN HANDY FOR S E V E R A L DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ACROSS THE SEASONS, ONE OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING TO THEIR DOOM AND MY ASS WOULD BE YELLING “YOU CAN FLY, DUMBASS” - anyway, they do that again later lmao it’s fine. But what’s low key NOT fine is they made Nya the WATER NINJA!!! Like I’m not mad she has powers, except I kinda am, she was doing just fine as Samurai X and honestly the only reason she has super special ninja powers is for plot reasons. Also Cole got turned into a ghost, but by s7 he’s????? No longer a ghost????????? And that’s NEVER addressed or reasoned away, so like. Cool lmao

S6 didn’t happen. Like, canonically, s6 ends with wish fuckery that undoes the entire season and none of the characters remember anything that happened except Jay and Nya because S6 is the season where they get back together so they remember all those events for???? Feelings reasons?????? Unclear, moving on. The actual bbeg for S6 was a djinn with a vaguely Spanish accent, and to this DAY I don’t know why they made him have a SPANISH accent. Djinn are Arabic, not Spanish!! They’re not central or South American, either!!!! Your villain design makes no sense, do better

S7 had MORE time fuckery, and retconned what happened to Kai and Nya’s parents and hmmmhmhmhmhmhm that makes me Upsetti Spaghetti :3 not just the retconning, but the fact that they LITERALLY brought them back oNLY TO NEVER MENTION THEM AGAIN!!!!!! LITERALLY!!!!!!!! Okay so at the VERY very beginning, like pilot episodes beginning, Kai talks about their dad like he died/left fairly recently, BUT s7 contradicts that and claims that both of their parents were essentially abducted when Kai and Nya were little kids, which makes me question what in the fresh fuck two little kids were doing for all those years alone. SETTING THAT ASIDE FOR A HOT SECOND, their parents were also apparently good friends of Wu’s and old war buddies (from the Serpentine wars, which is YET ANOTHER bit of the timeline that doesn’t quite add up but honestly I could make a whole other post about that shit). But if they were such good fucking friends, why didn’t Wu check in every now and again??? What the fuck was Wu doing that was so fucking important that he couldn’t have been assed to visit his friends ONCE in like TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS and realize “oh shit, they’re not here and there are two tiny children running around unsupervised…My Kids Now : )” LIKE????? WU YOU LOW KEY SHOULDA LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ KIDS BETTER, THEY COULDA DIED BRO!!! Uhhhh the time fuckery also results in Wu getting yeeted ahead in time a bit and the ninja gotta find him

Season. Eight. I have…mixed feelings about this one. The beginning absolutely SLAUGHTERED me, and not in a “this is so fucking funny” way. No, the beginning made me feel like I was being flayed alive with just about every episode because Ninjago was back on its forced romance bullshit and this time it was Lloyd’s turn on the chopping block. That hurt my soul cuz like, look at that mans color scheme, he’s CLEARLY alloaro, why are you forcing romance on my aro man, why would you hurt me like that, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE AND THE GIRL HE WAS BEING SET UP WITH HAD A LITTLE HEART TO HEART REALLY EARLY ON AND IT WAS THE MOST QUEER CODED SHIT!!!! IT DEADASS READ AS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AN OUT AND PROUD QUEER AND A CLOSETED QUEER AND THEY MADE!!! IT!!!!! STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that kept me watching at first was wanting to find Wu, and then I started enjoying myself once Cole found a plot-relevant baby and had fatherhood thrust upon him. Everything went from “ehhhhh” to “holy shit this FUCKS” once it was revealed that Rumi (Lloyd’s love interest) wAS PLAYING HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS EVIL AND HAD AN EVIL GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! LITERALLY IMPROVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEASON FOR ME, I COULD EVEN FORGIVE THE WHOLE “let’s resurrect Garmadon, but as evil as possible” BULLSHIT!!!!!!

S9 is a continuation of s8, Garmadon is back and 1000% Evil, 10% Dad, but none of the Dad energies is directed at Lloyd - it’s all directed at Rumi, and honestly I could write a whole ass post on just RUMI cuz that’s honestly my DAUGHTER and I LOVE HER and I’m MAD SHE DIES AT THE END OF THIS SEASON!!!! SHE DESERVED THERAPY AND TO LIVE WITH HER GF AND MAYBE SOME CRIME. AS A TREAT. RUMI DESERVED BETTER AND LOW KEY IM GONNA WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT, BUT ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Ah right, so s9 has the four major Ninja stuck in the original dimension with no way home, while Lloyd has no powers (cuz he almost died last season) and has to somehow lead a resistance against Garmadon (who has taken control of Ninjago City and is working on the rest of Ninjago). Actually, s9 is pretty cool. Like, the end of s8 and into s9 are low key my favorite episodes, and I kinda wanna rewatch them now -

S10 is a FUN one. Garmadon got got last season, but he didn’t DIE, so he’s in cold storage and now there’s Another Threat and he’s the only one who knows wtf they’re up against so they let him out and he works with them. The funny part is, he is still Very Much Evil and doesn’t quite Get emotions like he did when he was, uh, human lmao, sO HE WOKE UP EVERY DAY DURING THAT SEASON AND DECIDED TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT. 1000000/10 MY FAVORITE GARMADON, he ended that season by literally fucking off into Ninjago and they never decided to track him down 😭😭😭😭😭and I’m so SAD about it dude

S11 has another Serpentine as the bbeg, though in the setup to that they retconned how the fucking Serpentine tribes and history work??? I think???? Also Wu was a good 150% angrier and generally Done with the ninja’s shit, which was honestly refreshing tho I’m not quite sure I liked what the refreshed view was, but whatever lmao. S11 also had the ninja get yeeted to the dimension farthest from Ninjago, and honestly - okay, so they didn’t all go at the same TIME, Zane left about a week or two before the others did but there was time dilation fuckery afoot which I’m not too mad about cuz low key it makes sense. What I AM mad about is that they didn’t play the angst up to its full POTENTIAL!!!!!! Zane was EVIL in the other dimension!!!! Okay so I’m Ninjago he was only gone for maybe a week or two, but DECADES had passed in the other one, and all that time Zane was alone and disconnected from everyone he knew and loved, with a staff that boosted his power while slowly corrupting him and Turning Him Evil to help him, and like???? The thought of Zane trying to find a way home, trying to get SOME sort of message back, while he has to use the staff more and more to help him survive the long, lonely decades, so that by the time his family DOES show up its too late??? BRO. B R O. THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT, BUT NINJAGO DIDNT DO THAT!!! THEY MADE HIM EVIL DUE TO MEMORY WIPE!!!!!! MEMORY WIPE IS BABY SHIT COMPARED TO A LONG, SLOW CORRUPTION!!!!!!

S12 was alright. It went into Cole’s mom, touched on some of the adventures she had had, threatened another forced romance (this time on poor Cole, just leave my mans ALONE) but thankfully didn’t follow through this time, introduced cool new powers that honestly hasn’t been elaborated on since that’s the most recent season I think lmao

Anyway thanks for reading and letting me rant!!!! I have,,So Much More I could talk about, PLEASE ask me about Rumi, some of my headcanons re: Garmadon and Wu’s dynamic, the Serpentine, my top five times they butchered Kai’s character for Plot Reasons, or anything else I brought up here that you want me to elaborate on!!!

[shipping-receiving]

JB Fav Fics

Ages ago, I reblogged @chickren​‘s post (from 2013!) and I promised to give it a shot but got all tied up with my dissertation and my own fic. Now that my dissertation is done, I HAVE COMPLETED THIS. Bear in mind these answers might be a bit ‘dated’ as well (by a few months) because I’ve not been reading much fic on my end. Turns out when I’m writing my own, I can only hold one version of J/B in my head. 

Anyway this list is LONG AND TOOK ME FOREVER and I also wrote comments because I can’t help myself. So everything is under the cut. I took out the Shuffled Challenge one (very 2013 lol) and I replaced it with a category called... favourite S8 fix-it. Can you believe it? After I made all this noise about not being able to read fix-its?

[J/B Fic Recs: Master Post if anyone needs it before we start things off]

Favourite fic set immediately after ADWD Second to fucking none: Honor Thy Regard by SigilBroken Nights Without Armor by bratanimus

Favourite fic set a long time after ADWD Oh. Salt Wife by Lady_in_Red. Breathtaking simplicity.

Favourite TV canon fic Pretty and Traveling Far by astolat A Man for All Seasons by dreadwulf

Favourite S8 fix-it Yes, I know. I can’t deal with fix-its. And yet. Ice by Gwen77 Ring Them Bells by kirazi Battle is the Great Redeemer by Lady_In_Red

Favourite modern AU Clean hands by you-know-who (... it’s Gwen77) + all the classics:  Fever by Lady_In_Red On the Night’s Watch by Miss_M It’s Like Weather by ssstrychnine Beast and the Beast by SigilBroken And of course our recent fandom favourite: two halves of a soul by angel_deux

Favourite kiss (Don’t specify chapter) Okay this is kind of a random one but I remember re-reading Roommate Wanted by JustAGirl24 a couple months back, and when they finally kissed I wanted to freaking throw my phone across the room. It’s not even described in detail, it was just such a perfectly timed OMFG!!! THEY KISSED! moment.

Favourite smut Anything by Miss_M, good lord. My all-time favourite is Golden and True (modern AU, sequel to Ball and Chain), but for canon!verse it has to be Heart’s Desire and Spring Awakening. And obviously I have to say Flawed by francoeurs – smut exploring J/B’s Issues with a capital I? I’m THERE.

And for multi-chapter fic, Everyone Has Secrets by ellaria is fire. Oh and also, everyone’s favourite professor AU, Stacked by QuizzicalQuinnia.

Favourite UST On the Night’s Watch and Someone to Watch Over Me by Miss_M. I love that these two fics take place over such a short time (a few days) but they manage to feel like slow burns. That’s fucking skill right there.

Best written fic I hate this question. You want me to pick the best-written fic out of the FIVE THOUSAND J/B FICS ON AO3? Lmao I’m skipping.

Favourite fic with an unusual premise Multiverse central: All the Roads are Winding by ShirleyAnn66 In which Brienne can turn into a sea lion: This Is Your Wilderness by hardlyfatal GENDER SWAP: all knights are gallant and all maids are beautiful by janie_tangerine Jaime is a sculptor: Madonna of the Balcony by QuizzicalQuinnia Jaime does needlework: Hold This Threadbare Heart at Needlepoint by nire

Favourite action scene Words by astolat. The entire battle sequence.

Favourite dialogue Clean hands by Gwen77, Chapter 9. So cathartic, and SO MUCH HAPPENING. Not just J/B but Tyrion and Cersei on the phone too. I mean I just tried to re-read it to pick an excerpt (I can’t) and I already started crying lmao

Favourite characterization of Jaime A Man for All Seasons by dreadwulf. THE NUANCE. THE DETAIL.

Favourite characterization of Brienne Any fucking thing by Gwen77. Especially Clean hands, Diplomacy and Ice.

Favourite relationship development Where I follow, you’ll go by Lady_In_Red Beast and the Beast by SigilBroken, OBVIOUSLY It’s Like Weather by ssstrychnine Patience on a Monument by betts, even though they’re already friends, because betts makes me sit through Jaime/Sansa and Brienne/Tormund and yet I still re-read this.

Favourite use of non-typical character. Exclude these: Jaime, Brienne, Podrick, Hyle, Cersei, Sansa, Margaery, Tyrion, Daenerys, Selwyn, Tywin. Hmm this is a tough one. Maybe Loras the photographer in Living Fiction by Archetype_Electraheart

Favourite plot In This Light by SigilBroken for canon!verse endgame On the Night’s Watch by Miss_M and Everyone Has Secrets by ellaria for modern AU. I love J/B investigating stuff together.

Favourite title Nobody Knows / You Know and I Know by Miss_M “There’s a story,” Brienne says, “about a corrupt official who went to a sage and offered him to take part in a scheme, promising no one would ever know. ‘How can you say that?’ the sage replied. ‘I know, and you know, and the earth knows, and the sky knows.’”

Favourite WiP (finished or unfinished) With All Your Faults by seaspirit (close to the end!!!) The Descent by openmouthwideeye And this is finished but Tale As Old As Time by BrienneofThrace. She came back after like four years to finish it?! That alone is fandom magic.

Favourite long one-shot Pretty by astolat (wtf this is 30k?)

Favourite short one-shot OH MY GOD THE GLASSES FIC. Age Gap by ikkiM

Favourite drabble Mmmmm I don’t really read drabbles so I’ll skip this too.

Favourite beginning What is True, But Not Ideal by Vera: Jaime doesn’t appear for like four chapters and yet I was still on board.

Favourite ending IT’S FUCKING Clean hands by Gwen77 OKAY DON’T @ ME. Traveling Far by astolat – because she just Went There and gave J/B five kids The Sorrows That Women Cause by Mussimm (seventh and final part of Works and Days, in which they just... bang)

Favourite story twist more like the man you were meant to be by janie_tangerine. I mean, this isn’t really an internal twist, more like a twist on canon The Importance of Knocking by Miss_M, since it’s a story twist for Cersei lol.

Funniest story St George's Day by sansasparky The Best Legs You've Ever Seen by ikkiM

Favourite angst In the first version of this list I said I wouldn’t pick Gwen77 again for this one, and then I re-read Ice and cried my eyes out for like, the whole thing. Special mention for catherineflowers’ series We Need to Talk About…, because of how much she just commits entirely to some really dark stuff. It’s something I wouldn’t necessarily re-read, but just the audacity it took for her to write this is really impressive.

Favourite fluff The Higher Education of Brienne of Tarth and Drunken Shenanigans with Jaime and Brienne by BrienneofThrace. Anything by BrienneofThrace to be honest. She does the purest J/B. Also, Nothing That Is So, Is So by RoseHeart, and i get to be the other half of you + The 'Kiss Me' Series by sameboots.

Favourite Jaime line Yooooooo that part in Laying Siege by astolat when Jaime just launches into his wedding proposal: “I swear to you before these witnesses that I will protect Sansa Stark with my life, beside you. I will never take the field against her. I will take your name and your crest and your house as my own—”... I can feel myself being Brienne going WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

Favourite Brienne line Yeah yeah here I go picking Gwen77 again. The very last lines of all her fics always slay me, but this is the only line I can quote verbatim, from Diplomacy: “Trapped, he had said, worry in his voice. Ruined. She had never felt so free.”

Favourite general line or excerpt I love the way Gwen77 commits to the motif of walls in Ice. I freaked out about it here. And then after all that talk about Brienne building up her walls she just HITS US WITH THIS FINAL LINE:

“Jaime was hers, encircling, warm, solid as a wall. He would catch her if she fell.”

Favourite non-romantic fic The tale of Squire!Brienne series by LadyRhiyana

Favourite maiming adaptation in a modern AU Fever by Lady_In_Red, because I love how the whole story is built on Jaime learning how to ride again with a mangled hand

Favourite kidfic Not really a full-on kidfic, but You Know and I Know (sequel to Nobody Knows) for that Jaime & Tommen relationship, plus that conversation J/B have about having kids in future. Oh, and so brief, but Traveling Far by astolat.

Craziest scene that was in character and made sense (Don’t specify chapter) Let’s just go for the entirety of Stannis Baratheon, Fantasy Football League Commissioner by ikkiM AND THAT FUCKING J/B/C FIC THAT I READ BECAUSE I DIDN’T LOOK AT THE TAGS OKAY: Pride by astolat

Most underrated fic My Fall by TeamGwenee. Witches in 1600s colonial America AND in first person POV? IT WORKS THO. Such an interesting and original premise, and written in a very refreshing succinct style, and yet this multi-chapter fic has less than 200 kudos. Another one with less than 200 kudos: and you’ve whispered what I’m worth by angel_deux, a really lovely Mad Max: Fury Road AU.

Most desperate to see updated NO PRESSURE!!! for our world is cold and full of monsters by chancellor_valdez room service by ssstrychnine A Star Within the Mere by isavedlatin (sigh)

Favourite J/B as a secondary couple Some Kind of Family by crossingwinter

Most haunting Fool by astolat. I don’t know why. It’s a very beautiful story and it’s not even a bad ending for J/B necessarily, but the fact that it ends the way it does just really fucks me up. It’s the only fic in my bookmarks that I don’t think I can ever bear to re-read.

Favourite (friendship or hate) relationship between Jaime and another character One Of The Few Things by anniebibananie (Sansa) – I’m picking this just for the sheer I-can’t-believe-you-made-this-work-and-I-applaud-you factor

Favourite (friendship or hate) relationship between Brienne and another character What Is True, But Not Ideal by Vera (Tyrion)

[theprojectava]

The Silent War

Sooo...remember the last post s8 fix-it post I made? I wrote a little something for it (I’ll upload it on ao3, too, but I still have to make an account there).

It’s not beta read and I suck at writing stuff in English since it’s not my mother tongue. Please bear with me. :)

(Fic’s under the cut)

Our room is dark, the blinds are shut tight

And everything is still too much outside

When he left it hurt like hell. It felt like Shiro had finally run out of time. He should've said something sooner.

There had always been tomorrow, another time, next week, after this mission,when this meeting's over, promise, I'll tell him then!

The war had finally, officially ended. But not for them. The universe was in disarray – all the Galra Empire had left in its wake were ruins and ashes of whole worlds burnt to nothing. The war had never stopped and so their duties as Paladins and diplomats of planet Earth continued to tear them apart. Silently. For no one to see. Not even Shiro.

He only felt the sensation of something finally ripping, when it was too late. Keith was gone. By the time they noticed, he was already on the other end of the known universe, fighting off war criminals and rebuilding what was left of civilizations that had taken the brunt of the Empire's wrath over thousands of years. Somebody had to do it, Shiro told himself again and again. And of course it had to be Keith. This was what he was born for. The stars. If he was completely honest with himself he had always known that the younger man was never meant to stay on the ground with both his feet. The moment he had seen him so many years ago, he had known. Keith was meant to fly and reach for the stars or go crashing down with them.

But it still hurt so much. Because in spite of knowing that this day would come, he still wasn't prepared to let him go. He wasn't prepared to lose the man that meant everything to him.

Maybe it had taken him too long to realize what Keith really meant to him. That he couldn't live without him by his side. There had always been tomorrow, another time, next week... The possibility that there would be a tomorrow without Keith by his side seemed so impossible after all they went through. But maybe that's what went wrong in the end. Shiro had taken Keith for granted – a constant in his life that would always be there, no matter what. And now it was too late.

It may be over but not tonight

I may be older but I still cry

I can't stop sleeping in your clothes

You can't stop calling on the phone

Keith never reacted to any of his text messages. Whether it was because he was busy... or for a whole different reason Shiro didn't even want to think of, he didn't know. Silence was all there was between them now. With every unanswered message the hurt sunk deeper into his heart. It festered there and turned into bitterness with every passing month. He felt hollow inside. As Admiral and part of the Terran Delegation there was quite enough work on his hands to keep him busy for most of the day. But every time he'd come back home to a dark apartment and cold sheets he felt like sinking deeper into an all consuming emptiness. He should've given up trying to contact Keith by now. He knew that. In fact he should've stopped thinking about the other man every waking hour. The only problem was... he didn't know how. It was all he'd ever done.

Can't you see I'm in recovery?

Just let it be, I'm in recovery

I'm holding on, I know I'm almost there

Storm reach out and tell me that you care

It stung like a knife to the chest when he found out that he seemed to be the only one who hadn't heard of Keith for almost a year. He'd met up with Pidge at one point, visited Lance and Allura on New Altea merely two months ago. He'd even made it to congratulate Hunk on his family's new house in person... The only one who hadn't seen him ever since he left... was Shiro.

Later he'd wonder if that had been the last straw. If that was what finally broke him. When he found out Keith was back on earth for a few days without telling him, he snapped. He packed all his stuff and left his office like a raging storm. He knew he shouldn't corner Keith like that. He knew deep down, that it was wrong. Patience yields focus, remember? But he didn't care for one second. His whole body felt numb, yet at the same time so full of cold anger. He needed answers. Nobody stopped him when he mounted one of the hoverbikes and sped off into the desert. He knew exactly where to find Keith.

When he reached the shack he knew Keith was there, even before he saw the younger man's pale face in the door frame. He was hurting them. Both of them and Shiro knew. But there was no turning back from this conversation now. There was no way this could go on for any longer. Shiro already felt like crumbling to pieces, he couldn't stand the silence anymore. At this point he really believed that he couldn't hurt much more. He'd been through torture and war. He'd survived the pits. He'd survived experimentation and losing his arm. He died and came back... But there was no way he could withstand this.

The moment they started talking Shiro could already tell Keith was closing in on himself, building up walls even he couldn't tear down anymore. The telltale twitching of his hands, the way his shoulders hunched... Keith was unreadable to most people. Anyone else would've thought of him as indifferent to what was going on. Shiro, on the other hand, knew what to look for. He could read Keith like a book. And that's where the fighting began.

Being shut out felt like a slap in the face. It burnt right down to his very core.

“It's better this way”, Keith told him. “I'm sorry...”

They screamed at each other. They cried. Two thrashing animals caught in a trap, neither of them ready to go down. Ultimately, it was all in vain. Keith had made his decision, for reasons unknown. He'd take this secret to the grave if he had to. Shiro would never know what drove the former Red Paladin away from him. But his choice was final.

Tears burnt in his eyes, when he turned to leave. He never wanted to do this... But the words bubbled up unbidden, nonetheless.

“Fine... If that's what you want. I won't stop you”, he looked back at Keith and saw the exact moment the words registered and hit home. “But don't expect me to be there when you decide to come back one day.”

That day he had hurt Keith in a way, he'd never forgive himself for. There was no going back from this. The damage had been done. He left without looking back, not expecting Keith to reach out and keep him from leaving. He never did, anyway.

I'm finally sober, I see the light

The worst is over, nobody died

I'm still trying to let you go

Oh baby, please, leave me alone

A brand new war began. One that Shiro wasn't sure he'd survive – a silent war. No one else could see it, but they could feel it. There was tension wherever Shiro went, hanging in the air around him like thick rain clouds. None of his friends dared saying anything – they all knew. They had to know. Because Keith never showed up to any of their anniversaries on New Altea, again. It was a silent war and this... this was Keith's way of opening fire. Shiro embraced it. Swallowed it. And then cried it out into the darkness of his empty bedroom, when no one else would hear.

Can't you see I'm in recovery?

Just let it be, I'm in recovery

I know you wanna say you're sorry

But I don't wanna hear that story

Days bled into weeks, weeks bled into months. His heartache wouldn't fade. Shiro's chest had become an open wound refusing to heal. When was the last time he had laughed? He didn't know. All he did these days was work himself into the ground, working overtime for hours on end until he was either too tired to think or fell asleep in his office. That was until he fainted during a meeting. There's only so much sleep deprivation a human-Galra-hybrid clone body can endure.

When he came to himself again there was a man hovering over him. He remembered him from the Atlas. One of the bridge staff. What was his name again? Carl? Curtis? Curtis.

“Are you alright, Sir?”, he asked.

It's weird... how things change so fast.

Turned out Curtis was what Shiro needed. For the moment. Talking to him was easy... kissing him was easier. Easy was good for now.

They moved in together after dating for a few months. Shiro proposed after another two or three. Of course Curtis said yes. Everything was easy with him. So why did Shiro feel like he was drowning? Sending the invitations to their wedding earned him a few rounds of interrogation from his friends, especially Allura and Pidge. They'd picked up on what had occurred between him and Keith – mainly because Keith had quite regular meetings with Allura and Lance on New Altea, since he became a senior member of the Blades... At least that's what Shiro heard. Both of them knew how much Shiro was hurting, but all they could do was give him sympathetic glances. They knew why Keith did what he did. That maybe protecting his own poor heart from potential hurt was what led to them silently tearing each other apart. It hurt to watch.

Of course they sent an invitation to Daibazaal, too. Since none of them knew Keith's current location, they'd chosen to send it to Krolia instead, knowing Keith would get it, sooner or later. That was Shiro's counterblow in this cold war between them.

Always thought you'd be the one

Who always needed me

My home, you'd be my home

After the wedding, the silence only grew. As did the emptiness in Shiro's life. His marriage lasted for a whole 2 years. The time it took them to get divorced included. There were no “I told you so”s from his friends – only support and a lot of hugs. Shiro didn't know what was worse. Because he himself had known this relationship was meant to crash and burn the moment he had proposed. Maybe before.

He felt terrible. Throwing his own heart in the line of fire because he couldn't let go of someone who clearly didn't want him was one thing... Pulling Curtis into this and putting his heart on the line as well, was a whole different thing. Has he always been such a terrible human being? Could this be the reason why Keith left? Because he'd seen how Shiro hurts the people around him on purpose? There was no way of knowing now. Keith was long gone... and yet, he was still everything Shiro ever knew.

Suddenly, your memory

In time is like an enemy, so cold

Five years. It had been five years since the last time they saw each other. Back in Keith's shack. Shiro's last words still rang in his ears, loud and clear. It had taken him a year or so, until he realized he'd used the same words Adam had thrown at him, before he'd left for the Kerberos mission. It felt like a lifetime ago. Another thing in a long line of things he regretted voicing or not voicing in front of Keith. It seemed like he never told Keith the most important things. But if he did tell him anything, only the wrong things came out. Things he never wanted anyone to hear. Unfair things.

The universe, as Shiro had known it, was in shambles.

A soft ping was all it took to tilt the universe back into the right direction. It was 3:00 am. An unusual time to get notifications nowadays. Shiro had stepped back from a few positions in the past year, slowly letting others take the reins. It was time for him to go back and teach at the Garrison... Or maybe... Maybe one day he'd see the stars again. He could hear them calling already.

Another ping and he was fully awake. With half lidded eyes a grabbed his phone. The bright orange light was nearly blinding in the darkness of his bedroom. He took one look at the display and nearly dropped the device into his own face. Wha-... Was he dreaming?!

There were two messages glaring back at him, taunting him. This had to be a dream. It had to.

Keith (03:02):

Dear Shiro.... I know I fucked up royally. Fuck, I'm not good at this. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's been a while..... But can we maybe talk?

Keith (03:03):

I understand if you don't want to. I'll leave you alone if you don't want to see me. But I... I can't do this any longer.

Shiro's heartbeat was deafening. Blood rushed in his ears. He had to pinch himself to make sure this wasn't another cruel dream.

This was happening. This was really happening. It had been five years. Five years of silence.

His fingers moved before he could even register what was happening and pressed “send”.

Shiro (03:05):

Don't be. We both did a lot of fucking up. We can talk whenever you want.

It took about ten minutes and Shiro was ready to dose off again, when his phone went off. It wasn't a text message this time. But a video call.

“Hey.”

A single word. It only took a single word... His voice was tinny and rougher than he remembered. His hair had gotten longer. Long enough to be braided actually. There was an edge to his face that hadn't been there when Shiro last saw him. But it was Keith. Sweet, beautiful Keith.

“Hey”, Shiro replied, his voice raspy and thick with emotions.

They talked. They actually talked. At 3:00 am. Not about what happened between them, not about the reason why Keith left, not about Shiro's marriage or divorce. But they talked about small things, like Keith's latest mission or that annoying woman from the canteen who didn't get the message Shiro was into men. But who could blame her? Ever since Curtis Shiro had never tried dating again.

When they finally hung up it was with the promise of meeting up when Keith got back to earth next month. It was almost 5:00 am. Neither him nor Keith had said it out loud, but it hung between them, so thick it was almost palpable.

“I miss you.”

Can't you see I'm in recovery?

Meeting Keith after all this time was like finally, finally putting the shards of his universe back together. Like finally laying their weapons down and calling off the war they had started on that fateful day in the shack.

It was awkward at first... until it wasn't.

One touch, a simple hand on a shoulder kind of touch, was all it took to open the gates to a flood. There were tears. Lots of tears. Tears of joy and sorrow, of forgiveness and apology. Years worth of silence were shattered by a flood of words. Once they started they couldn't stop. Hugging each other and holding on tight, never wanting to let go ever again.

“I'm so sorry”, whispered Keith in between ugly sobs. “I'm so, so sorry. I thought-... I thought-”

“Shhh”, Shiro tried to calm him, tightening his hold on Keith. But the younger man wasn't having it.

“No-... No, you have to hear this.”

He leaned back a little until he could look into Shiro's eyes. His eyes were red and still full of unshed tears.

“I'm sorry I ran”, Keith tried again. This time his voice was steadier. “I didn't know what to do. I thought... After the war you... You deserved better.”

“Better?”, Shiro frowned. “Better than what?”

“Me.”

At that moment it felt like Shiro's heart would burst out of his chest.

Before he could say anything Keith continued: “I... I thought after all you've been through, you deserved a life far away from war and fights and-... I knew I couldn't give you this.”

Another sob rocked Keith's lean body. He'd bulked up a little over the past few years, but he still felt so small and fragile in Shiro's arms.

“I never wanted to hurt you. But... I was afraid... Of hurting myself.”

There was a moment of silence. But a different kind of silence – a pleasant one. Finally, finally Shiro understood.

“You were trying to protect your heart”, he whispered.

Keith's eyes went wide for a second. But he nodded nonetheless. There was nothing left for him to lose. He'd lived five years without Shiro by his side... He'd been through hell already. All because he couldn't just tell Shiro how he felt.

“Well”, the corners of Shiro's mouth turned up into a soft smile. “there's no need to. Never was.”

Again Keith's eyes went wide, his brows rising almost comically high. Slowly, to give him enough time to pull back if that wasn't what he wanted, Shiro leaned down, until their lips were almost touching.

“I never told you this. I never found the right moment... and then you were gone”, with every word their lips brushed against each other. Keith closed his eyes. “Maybe I can tell you now.”

And with that he closed the distance between them.

Kissing Keith was everything he ever imagined it would be... and still so much more. The soft, warm feeling of his lips, the slow drag of his tongue against Shiro's bottom lip were intoxicating. He was done for. He knew that the moment he had to lean back and take a breath. He already missed the warmth of Keith's lips on his.

“I love you.”

The confession left his lips and he couldn't stop. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Tears filled the younger man's eyes again.

“I love you, too.”

For the first time in years it felt like there was a silver lining at the horizon.

They could to this. They could make this right. It had taken them five years, but finally, finally the universe seemed whole again.

The war of silence was finally over.

Song: “Recovery” by LP

[aw-eather]

Thoughts about Ripple Effect (SG1 9x13).

In dot points because I’m not gonna be able to write anything properly. 

I mean really its a bit of a silly episode. I enjoy it, don’t get me wrong but its far from a favourite of mine. Although multiple Sam’s in one room... ;) 

The ambiguity of whether alt!Sam’s were with Jack or someone else is frustrating to an extent. Like every other AU story, she’s with Jack but now they won’t say.. why? Do they want us to question if she started dating Pete or Jack? Is it because its so heavily suggested that she’s seeing Jack in our timeline and if so what difference does it make? Janet and Martouf’s Sam is on maternity leave, something our Sam was concerned about with Pete... at the end of the day its frustrating to have ONE AU episode with so many Sam’s and not know if she’s with him. I assume she is because every other Sam has been, its kind of a given at this point. 

Martouf. Where do I beging with Martouf! I love him. I love him so, so, so much. He was a favourite of mine when he came into the show in s2 right through until his death. I loved him with Sam (even tho Jack/Sam is my OTP) and I loved the dynamic they share both within and outside the Lantash/Jolinar plot. Seeing him again was so heart breaking. When I knew he was about to round the corner I yelled at my TV because I knew it was going to end in me being heartbroken AGAIN over him.  I love how he talks about his Sam and their relationship. I DON’T like that our Sam and him nearly kiss. Its been implied since the end of s8 that she’s with Jack now and Sam wouldn’t cheat on him, she’s not an asshole. I suppose the Jolinar in her was responding to the situation more than Sam was.. as much as I LOVE them together, my headcanon is that she’s with jack now and therefore wouldn’t be kissing Martouf.  The kiss on the cheek right before he leaves is such a beautiful scene. I’ve said it like four times but I love their dynamic and I wish they had given him more of a chance to be a part of the show. Even had them have a relationship at some point so we could see Jack and Jacob’s reactions to that. Would have been hilarious. 

Janet. She means a lot to me and its her departure at the end that really broke me tbh. Janet means a lot to me because of who she was. She was a tiny human being (Teryl Rothery and I are the same height) with a heart of gold and protectd her friends and helped people, took no shit, was feirce and brave. She was an inspiration to me for a long time to be honest and I like to think I channel her a little bit when I’m teaching because it means I’m feirce and don’t put up with shit but I am still compassionate.  She deservd better in the show. To be written out the way she was and then brought back for such a short ammount of time was shitty. Especially since she’s basically never mentioned and God knows what happened to Cassie. Sure Sam says she took the R&D job to have more flexible hours for Cassie (yeah from another state, sounds fake we all know she took the job for Jack but go off) but when do we hear about her again? When do we see her again?  We get a little bit of mourning from the main cast in Heroes p2 but not enough. Janet was Sam’s best friend, she clearly had a strong relationship with Daniel and the other boys. We see Sam crying and being heartbroken during the episode but then shes just fine? Never mentions her best friend, we don’t see Jack mourn, we get a tiny bit of Teal’c and Daniel? he WATCHED her die and we get next to nothing. At the very least all of them seeing her in this episode would have been a little traumatic for everyone, especially Daniel.  I know they’ve all lost people in the past and you can’t keep certain things running on and on for multiple episodes because it becomes overkill but some kind of recognition past Heroes would have been nice.. 

Any way I think thats it for now. I’ll update it if I think of anything else! Feeling very emotional right now friends. 

[sailorshadzter]

Post s8. Sansa learns of Tyrion killing Shae. So she sends Jon her royal pardon as a big fuck you to Tyrion. She also sents a letter threatening Tyrion to be sentenced to the Watch if he so much walks on northern soil.

thanks for this request!

this is one thing i really hate that the show never talked about- it’s just another thing on a long ass list of complaints- but i know sansa never would have forgiven tyrion if she found out the truth about shae. 

i hope you enjoy!

send me prompts

The knock on her door pulls her attention from the scroll of parchment in her hands. "Come in," the young queen calls and when the door opens, it is Lord Royce. He approaches her where she sits at her desk and offers her a bow. "You have news?" She asks, to which he nods, though his face does not change its expression. Somehow, she already knows what he's going to say before he even says it.

"There was a guard in King's Landing... A guard that Tyrion Lannister paid him to help him dispose of the body." He bows his head, eyes closing as he lets out the breath he's been holding. "I am sorry, my queen." He murmurs when he opens his eyes, taking in the sight of her face. She's gone white, but merely purses her lips together and nods. "The guard said it was Tyrion that took her life."

"And her body?" The queen asks, her voice sharp as steel, her gaze even sharper.

"Buried somewhere in the gardens." Lord Royce replies, watching as the queen sits back in her chair, hands twisting together on her lap beneath her desk. "The guard said that Tyrion visits it regularly, though he tells anyone who asks it's merely a spot he enjoys that's away from everyone." The queen chokes on a laugh and she rolls her sapphire colored eyes, giving her head the smallest of shakes, as if she cannot believe the words he's just said.

"Thank you, Lord Royce." She says by way of dismissal- but as he turns to go, she calls out to him again. "A moment more, if you don't mind." She holds out a folded parchment that's already been sealed with her sigil in wax. "Send this to Lord Tyrion straight away, if you would." Lord Royce takes the letter from her, noticing a new glint in her eyes he's never seen before. "And this one..." She holds out another letter and this time, her lips curve with a strained sort of smile. "This one to Castle Black." Lord Royce holds her gaze for a single moment before he accepts the letter and tucks it, along with the one for Tyrion, into his doublet. "Thank you, my lord," she says with a truer smile and he nods, smiling for her before he bows and backs out of the room.

When she's alone, the smile fades, but Sansa finds she can cry no tears.

It feels as though all of her tears have been spent- from her days back in King's Landing until now, she's cried so much that surely there can be no more tears that fall from her eyes. Besides, she's cried for this loss already. Since the day she had left King's Landing, she has missed Shae dearly. She's thought of her often and had hoped there would come a day when they would meet again. But, such a thought had been the naive hope of a girl long since gone. But... To learn what she's learned this day... That Tyrion himself had taken the life of the only friend she'd had in King's Landing.

She thinks of the letters she's sent and she smiles. He would know her fury, that much she's certan of. And the other letter... She can only hope it will be answered.

[ x x x ]

"A letter, my lord."

Tyrion looks up from where he sits at his desk, piles of papers littering the top. "Thank you," he says as he takes the letter from the young man, waiting until the door has closed behind him to look it over. On the front is his name in neat, slanted handwriting, handwriting of a well educated woman, if he had to guess. And sure enough when he turns it over, it is the Stark sigil pressed into the sealing wax.

For a moment, his heart wavers, as if he knows opening this letter will change everything. But he forces his fingers to move, breaking the seal on the Queen in the North's letter that has so suddenly arrived for him.  And then... He reads.

Tyrion,

              For the last several months, I have sought answers in regards to my handmaiden Shae. I know you two were lovers once and now I know you killed her with your bare hands. You need not write me to protest your innocence, the guard you once paid off is now in my confidence. It seems that I have friends even there, you would do well to remember that. 

             If it were not my brother who is King, I would crush you with an army of my own making. I would take you as my prisoner and I would ensure you spend the last of your days in a jail cell where you so truly belong. But I honor my brother and he speaks highly of you, even if I cannot say why. I once did, too, though you have proven your hand to me time and time again. 

           As you are not a subject of my own, there is little I can do, but I can do this: if you ever step foot into the North, you will be punished. If I catch even a scent of Lannister in my kingdom, you will find yourself at the mercy of the North, and you will not find your way out of it. If I decide to be merciful, I will send you to the wall to join the Night's Watch with the other criminals, as it is the only place among the living that you deserve to be. 

         But, as you will stay there in King's Landing and continue to go unpunished for your crime against Shae and all others, this will serve as atonement enough. By the time you read this letter, Jon Snow will be freed from the Night's Watch and in my keep. He was undeservedly punished and if you will not be punished, then neither shall he. 

        I again warn you on setting foot into the North, for I am not a queen of mercy when it comes to punishing those who deserve it most.

When he finishes her letter, his heart is thumping wildly in his chest.

He thinks of Shae often, but avoids thinking of what he did to her. For a moment, he imagines her as she had been that day- her eyes wide and her nails clawing, fighting with every bit of strength she had to survive. And she almost had. Almost.

He doesn't regret what he did, he only regrets that it had to be her. He had loved her, after all. Truthfully, he's surprised that Sansa has learned the truth, especially so many years later. He had assumed she had thought little of Shae, as she had most everyone in King's Landing, not that he could blame her. Yet again, he had under estimated Sansa Stark, as most everybody around her had done all of her life. Now, he knows, and he knows better than to ever try and find out if she's good on her promise of his punishment.

And so he supposes he will have to live with Jon Snow's release and live without ever returning North.

[ x x x ]

Sitting upon her throne, Sansa looks out at the empty room around her, fingers tightening their hold on the arm rests as the double doors across the room open. It is Jon standing there, his dark hair wilder than ever, his face hidden behind months worth of scruff. But it is Jon... It's Jon. He steps into the room and the door closes behind him as he walks along the aisle, towards where she sits, spine straight, knuckles white.

He walks until he's right there, just barely out of her reach. "My queen," he murmurs before he drops to a knee before her, Longclaw unsheathed and offered to her in a gesture of fealty. For the first time in his life, those two words, my queen,mean something to him. They mean everything to him. "I am yours, if you would have me." When he raises his eyes to meet hers, he's blindsided by the brilliance of her smile.

"You have always been mine." She replies, ignoring the warmth that gathers in her cheeks, ignoring the wild thumping of her heart in her chest. There has never been anyone else, nor would there ever be. "Welcome home."

When Jon rises to his feet, it's to open his arms to her, and he knows he's home.

Truly, home.

[bionicdragonguardian1]

Voltron Rewritten Defender (1/8)

Also known as My Almost Raging Bitch List for this Goddamn Disastrous Disappointment of a Show

I binged all 8 seasons in under a week, so believe me when I say almost nothing was forgotten between seasons/episodes and I do tend to note that.

If it’s not obvious by the title, I’m planning an entire show AU. I am extremely open to people’s opinions on what I’m currently thinking and when I finally post this I’ll be open to criticism there too. If you would like to avoid seeing anything in regards to this feel free to blacklist #voltron_rewritten_defender because that’s what I’ll be using for this whole thing.

Enjoy, I guess.

Fair warning I am a multishipper, but for this show I leaned towards Klance, so if that bothers you that’s okay, I’m not going to be bashing any other ships (mainly just Dreamworks’ forced Allurance). If you think I missed something for any other ship lemme know! If you wanna have a ship discussion that’s cool too. The only other thing I can think of is that Allura’s attitude in S8 really stuck with me to the point that she bothered me throughout the entire rewatch (I was admittedly one of the people who thought she could be very Mary Sue ish when I first watched this) so that’ll show up now and again.

If you want to look at the Google Doc for the whole show, click the link, if not you can expand this post to see Season 1. I’ll be doing these in chunks, but as some of you know I do a FicRecList on one of my other accounts here @sorcerusdragonbionics​ so I’m gonna be alternating between that and these for the next couple days.

If you do the Google Route it’ll have you ask me for permission, this is normal and if you request it I’ll give you commenting abilities.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1t30IRJonrBFh0qvs8recf3ayGoQ0rx02y0Tg1e4NTaI/edit?usp=sharing

Key

Things I kinda wanna bitch about

Things I did genuinely enjoy and like 

Rewatch Thoughts (basically what I remember from further forward and how I feel like it reflects back on earlier seasons)

Ship Talk (behold my multishipping insanity)

Things I think I’ll do in the Rewrite

Writing Notes (mainly for me or as explanation for what I’m planning)

VA and Closed Captioning Things

Other Fic Thoughts

This ended up being music commentary in S8

Season One

Problems with the Season overall:

To be honest if I hated this season I wouldn’t’ve kept watching because by the time I started S3 had just dropped

Episode 1

Here’s the deal, WHY ARE YOU SO LONG BUT SO EMPTY?!?

Yeah, nope, that’s mostly it

Fix the problem of telling instead of showing about the other Lions and remove Allura’s explanation of the Lions if possible (thank you Kross for explaining why it felt so empty- this vid is actually where I started getting the idea to actually go through with a full series AU)

DON'T RUSH THE LION INTROS

Also let the 5 introduce themselves to Allura and Coran

Also Character Drive to Complete Mission Should Be A Thing

Flesh out Paladin Personalities so that the Aris Arrival is End of Part One (making it closer to the length of E1)

Flesh out Lion intros so part 2+3 are more like full Eps without Sendak

Episode 2

75 degrees… that’s definitely in Fahrenheit, which why?

How does no one have a watch with a date on them?

“A man can be driven to do anything if a beautiful woman is just really really mean to him”

More inbetween scenes bc I can

I will accept the transformation sequence here, I’m just not going to write it

Episode 3

Please watch the use of Earth Time Slices please, because it’s confusing

I love the portrayal of PTSD in this show and I would die before I change it

Bye bye transformation sequence

Pidge’s talk with Shiro can please change

Episode 4

“I say Vol, you say Tron” will come up again if it kills me

Lance, how do you know what hotdog water and feet taste like?

I love how Coran is completely nonchalant about the fact that he’s drinking a hair tonic

Shiro, don’t bring down the mood

Goddammit Sendak, you could stay for this arc, but god I want you GONE!

Keith, having an emotion? Really?

The Pidge plot DID NOT NEED TO HAPPEN LIKE THAT!

Fight me I will change it

Or minimally change the fact that their selfish motivations are revealed to BAD and should be changed

Oh yeah, let’s not give the ONE GUY with notable homesickness a character arc around that

That moment when you realize Allura is like ‘wtf is a peanut’

Allura, don’t push it, some people don’t want to talk about it

You will have something to talk about, BIOLOGY

Decryption happens here, and next attempt to find family occurs… when?

Poor Coran, if there is anyone who was more forgotten than Lance it was him

Keith isn’t wrong, but he also doesn’t know how to say it without getting mad, which mood

Just pointing out Lance is not only smart, but selfless, tell me how he’s not the main character

My inner Shance/Klance shipper is sobbing

“Bomb fuel” mentioned here, occurs… actually it’s ok

Timelines need to be a thing!

Can I make the fight scenes more intense? Yes, I write them for my YJ Scripts. Will I? Almost definitely.

Keith with that much fire your mask should be closed because smoke inhalation is bad

Can we explain Vrepit Sa before s6?

It feels like Coran forgets that 10k years have passed under an evil empire and part of me likes it, but it hurts me

Episode 5

The Katie flashback is hurts me

I want to add Gender Identity

Can we talk about how Shiro is a nickname for Takashi Shirogane?

That’s not how an EMP works

The Coran sitting on Hunk’s shoulders with a machine gun is everything

I know the back x-ray was a joke, but I still don’t like it

Rax is an idiot, just saying

Bonding Moment!!!

Episode 6

“Intergalactic time measuring competition.”

“We had a bonding moment!”

Where is Sendak’s arm?

Fight me, Pidge’s ‘gender speech’

It will be a gender speech if it kills me

Lance, why are you acting the way you are?

“I figured” and “We were supposed to think you were a boy” ARE NOT PROPER REACTIONS!

Rolo, sometimes I want to punch you in the teeth

Lance’s boner is going to get someone killed

Lance had 4sec of logic and then Nyma brings up Keith, which ofc does him in

Let’s expand on the Komar, yeah?

Quiznack means fuck and NO ONE can tell me otherwise

Keith’s ability to fly is impressive and it’s awesome

Friendly reminder that Lance acknowledged the bonding moment

Episode 7

I LOVE the laser gun sound effects!!!

I just realized that Allura has no clue what an Acronym is

We… literally just talked about this and YOU didn’t know that Shiro, I understand the point, but seriously?

LIONS are TELEPATHIC Shiro DID NOT need to say that aloud!

I do actually like the fact that Kieth gets excited before realizing what he did

FIRE and ICE PEOPLE come on! What the hell?! You barely had to try

“Yes sir?” Keith to Shiro, what?

I love them and their cute little arguments

Left vs Right, thank you Zamber

We be lovin’ Hunay bc it’s pure as hell

Thank you Shiro for validating Hunk’s concerns

You could check  a little faster, Allura

I LIVE for this scene

Was it actually Rolo?

Do they have teleporters?

Keith being weird is my favorite thing

I love good big bros who argue tradition to save their baby sis

Zarkon is a bit of a moron

THEIR LIVES ARE IN DANGER ALLURA!

They all came through different doors… how?

What if the answer was no?

I’m ok with Lance embarrassing himself when he’s cocky, some people seem to forget that

Bye transformation sequence, I explained you ONCE and that’s it

Prorock… why are you familiar?

Episode 8

I admittedly forgot that they didn’t know these things would be different

Flying fight scenes I can do, teleporting not so much

Poor Shiro he thought he had an idea and he was wrong

I love Coran’s reaction

Also NO SHIT Allura

UHHHH Pidge said that not and of the other three so how did He know?

Allura may piss me off, but I do love this speech

“Your Altean Energy”??? Coran, you’re an Altean, I’m confused.

The “Sacred Altean” thing I get, but you must be more specific cuz it makes Coran sound like he thinks he’s not a proper Altean.

Oof, angsty

Also, I  know we can’t kill Allura yet, but... 

I love that Hunk forgot they hadn’t formed Voltron

Bye bye transformation sequence

Ummm, they NEED to explain the Bayard Equip bc that’s… two very different things that occurred between Hunk and Keith’s Bayard Weapons

Why is this a scene? It’s not a dog. So, yeah, I’m with Keith here

Episode 9

THIS IS NOT HEALTHY ALLURA!

I just realized that this doesn’t come back until S..7? 8? Whatever, WAY too long

I can’t unhear “Training Dick”

Did they have homework on Altea?

Be still my Punk shipper heart

WHY is he SO pretty?!

Y’know, the glowing red eye is usually a bad sign

I could SO mean and hurt Keith here

That moment when you’re like 90% sure Shiro heard that somewhere

Not what haunted means Coran, but accurate

Why could Lance see Alfor for a second?

I too would like the answer to “where was the Red Lion?”

PTSD IS AMAZINGLY WRITTEN!

It’s a shame this is NEVER treated properly again

Thank you for NOT making the swimming thing a thing

You didn’t need to TRY Voltron, what the hell?!

Here’s the deal,  Altea not being Obliterated-obliterated is actually a really interesting idea

Lance still wins, for the record

If she was infected in any way this wouldn’t drive me crazier than a bot on Halloween

But she’s not so this is BULL

Shallura confuses me SO much…

Ok, admittedly the scene with Allura and Alfor is beautifully heartbreaking

Episode 10

The fact that Zarkon was a close friend to Alfor should be addressed

Also Shiro calling himself “an inexperienced Pilot” hurts

Allura’s a MORON!

YES! MASSIVE ISSUE WITH YOU COMING

Nice puppetry Hunk

What happened to THIS Allura?! She’s reckless but not INSANE (or so boring I might cry)!

Is this the same Druid from Season 8? Pretty sure it’s 8… I forget which, but the one Keith fought

“Don’t walk through that door!” / Keith does/ “I think I told him” // “You are a paragon of leadership, Lance”

Hehheh I love Hunk teasing Lance about Allura

I do actually the fact that I can’t tell what size the purple container is until Keith grabs it

Heheh the Allura interacting with the Galra soldier

The computer sounds like Lance

Also Shiro had that “holy shit” moment

I HATE WRITING TELELPORTING FIGHTS

I’m 99% sure that the ONLY reason I didn’t fall into the Galra Keith rabbit hole was the fact that I binge watched

This scene confuses me… so much now that I know Shallura was apparently never going to be a thing

So confused

Episode 11

That hair flip though...

Coran, I get it, but calm down

Okay, but Keith has a point. Seriously, he’s not wrong. 

For the record, Haggar scares me

So much makes so much more sense now that we know Zarkon is the Original Black Paladin

That… makes no sense… “enough essence to open a wormhole”

Why are you transforming? More pieces to shoot at is usually a smart idea…

Hey hey, THACE!

Why can’t you have two active at once? I’m honestly serious.

I mean too OP, got it, but you can maneuver around that for temporary stuff

Shiro, use your words, yeah?

“Thinking” uh huh you mean “telepathy” right?

I genuinely forgot that Shiro got booted from Black

Damn! Yes Shiro! Kick some ass!

Ok, here’s the deal, Keith’s not listening to Coran, but he doesn’t have all the info (LIKE THE FUCKING BAYARD), Zarkon’s the OG Paladin, and he’s in distress

I HATE TELEPORTERS!

“Could have been” … uh Kuron exists ?? 

Also, Shiro with yellow eyes is fucking terrifying

We ain’t ficking stupid VLD

Zarkon’s a fucking idiot

Written properly his power-hungry attitude works even with him destroying his own ship

But it wasn’t so it’s null

You aren’t even subtle about Galra Keith

How can Allura see through Illusions?

Nobody knows!

Shiro, you have no jetpack, how are you so fast?

“Who cares, wormhole!” mood

I… uh… I want to do SO many things with this idea

Preferably not what they actually do...