#just wish plans would actually happen
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Hate still being disappointed and upset when friends cancel plans with good reasons
#just wish plans would actually happen#i can never fully count on any of my friends#they all cancel things so often#i'm so tired#anyway i guess i'm having pizza for dinner tonight#was supposed to have hotpot yesterday with a friend#but she canceled that to go visit a newborn in the family#so we rescheduled for today#she was supposed to come over and cook dinner#but she's sick#and just texted me to cancel#and again: these are valid reasons#i'm just. very sad.#i'm supposed to hang out with other friends on friday but tbh i have a feeling that's gonna be cancelled too#i haven't seen any of my friends yet this year#even the one online event that was planned got cancelled literally last minute#so i guess i'll just watch a movie alone tonight. again.
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"AU where Ivan is alive" this "Fic where Ivan and Till are saved by the Rebels" that..
Where are all the fics where Sua is alive/saved by the rebels with Mizi? ¿Dónde? ¿Dónde están??
#/hj.. kinda#I need more MiziSua fics so baddd#don't tell me I have to start writing them😭#because believe it or not I am a terrible writer#just saying.. I think this type of fic would be interesting..#like how would Sua react? Would she tell Mizi what she had planned to happen? Would it strain their relationship a little bit?#Pleaseeee I need more yuri pleaseee#I LOVE IvanTill but they have taken over the ao3 alnst tag#and most of the fics where Ivan lives Till ends up reciprocating his feelings#which hey not complaining I wish it was canon#BUT☝.. I read them and I'm like “..he would not fucking say that-”#So basically- if ya'll can believe Ivan can survive.. why not Sua?#“But she was shot in the hea-” Shhh. Sh. Shut.#Some reasoning: There's a lot of blood in the head so when you get injured there the wound looks worse than it actually is.. soooo-#could be possible🤷♂️#i am delusional#alien stage#alnst#sua alnst#alnst sua#sua alien stage#alien stage sua#toon talks
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a koi pond for your dash:
❀ 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ༄ ❀ 𓆝 𓆟 ༄ ❀ 𓆞 𓆝 ❀ ༄ ﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
#our pond thawed so i sat beside the water today and watched the fish#i wish everyone as beautiful and peaceful a moment as that today ♡#i dont have a koi pond btw judt a farm pond that a neighbor put goldish in like twenty years ago#they thrived tho and they're pretty like koi fish#im planning to add water lilies to it this year and maybe some other pretty ornamental plants around it idk#also a bench hopefully bc rn you have to sit in an uncomfy rock lol#anyway#still a nice place to hang out im just planning to make it nicer when i have the money for landscaping#im considering adding some actual koi to it bc i read they can coexist w goldfish really well bc they're both carp#but idk i assume they eat more so maybe they would outcompete the goldslfish#also they eat the baby goldfish so maybe not :(#they should crossbreed tho#i think#so maybe i'll just grt one or two koi and see what happens#anywayyy#they're so pretty and peaceful to watch 😌#my only complaint is its a bit of a hike to the pond#either like five minutes down a suuuuper steep hill or twice as long walking around the hill and back up by the road which is less steep#also you cant really see the pond from the house bc its far away and surrounded by dense brush#alas#these are good problems to have tho#and for safety reasons its good actually that the pond is far from the house and a bit annoying to get to#bc little kids could def have a terrible accident if it was just in the yard or something#bc its really deep#im not the best w these emojis but i wanted to make something cute
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also. my grandma mentioned us staying here ANOTHER night. god. i think vess and i will place daggers in each other’s hearts if we don’t go home today. we are so fucking tired. and apparently we’re going to see a friend of my mom and grandma’s today and i can’t do more social things!!!! i get left out all the time anyways because i’m still viewed as a kid no matter what or i guess i’m not interesting enough? i dunno. i don’t wanna go and see someone and for me to be there in silence 98% of the time. it’s so fucking!!!! i feel like we would actually die if we stayed here tonight again. we need proper rest and last night was fucking horrible. ugh vess has been promised time and time again it would get to talk to his fp today and that we would be able to rest. and! that’s not happening very well! and it’s making me upset! just :( i dunno, we need to take care of ourselves but we seem like an asshole if we say that. we’re trying to be better at boundaries but :/ it feels like such an asshole thing to do sometimes.
#i’m rambling a lot but i just. i feel a bit frustrated!#and a little overwhelmed#i hadn’t planned on us being extended this long and we need to mentally prepare for this stuff#i forgot being with my mom and grandma like this makes for spontaneous ideas which i very well remember now being miserable for me#i’ve had autistic traits for my whole life and i noticed no one was like me and no one understood#and i felt like such an asshole for being pissy about things no one else seemed to mind#but now it all makes sense i understand why those things happened now#i wish i could tell the younger version of myself that we would have answers one day#and it wouldn’t be our fault at all actually#i’m still rambling so i’ll leave this here i don’t know what i’m saying anymore#ender.txt
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fanfic rambling in the tags, nothing interesting really, just me talking to myself lol, okay to ignore or read as you please ✨
#so i've found the perfect prompt list for an olli/allu fic advent calendar sorta thing#but i'm too intimidated by my own expectations and ridiculously high standards to even start writing any of them 😭#honestly these prompts are so insanely cute and fit olli/allu PERFECTLY#like. i'm actually having trouble deciding which ones to use because i want to write them all 🥺💞#but i'm so so scared that i'll just end up writing the same (boring) story over again for 24 times 😔#i wish i could just write without thinking and trying so hard to write a literary masterpiece#when i KNOW it's alright if it's just a silly little story about my blorbos#that's perfectly enough and i know this but my brain's just not having it 😩#also if i were to write 24 independent fics i'd have to keep them short and simple but. that's not how i do fics. unfortunately (for me)#to overcome this i guess one option would be to write just one longer piece with 24 chapters#and somehow try to include the prompt of the day in each chapter 🤔#but i don't want to make this even more complicated to myself lol especially because i'm planning to write AUs for a couple of the prompts#i REALLY want to do prompts (of any kind!!) but i'm just so scared of stressing myself out to another months-long writer's block 😭#fair enough the last time that happened (last winter/spring) i was in a shitty place mentally anyway#and so far i've been happy to be writing on random bursts of inspiration. that's how it's the easiest for me. the words just...flow out#i'm so insanely jealous of anyone who can just create stuff when given any prompt 😭#y'all are super humans to me how do you do it pls spill your secrets#and anyone tempted to comfort me by saying i shouldn't stress myself over this and that i don't have to write anything i don't wanna write:#i knoooooowwww and i appreactiate the sentiment but the thing is i actually DO want to write these prompts 😭#in theory at least. because they really are cute as fuck wth 🥺#the problem is that i can't /force/ myself to write something at the snap of my fingers without a clear idea besides the prompt#and also because i know it can take me days to finish even one story let alone 24 💀#so to even START on this project is a little intimidating 🫣#i just fear i won't have the patience :(#and when i realise i won't be able to finish the project i'll become frustrated with myself#if only i knew how to write shorter one-scenes in order to not tire myself out#but often i find those kind of fics somehow...unsatisfying :(#i'm just a sucker for crafting the context/background for stories. a little flesh around the bones if you will 🤧#okay that's all now i'm gonna go stare at a wall while doing nothing useful for the rest of the weekend byeeee#if you read this far i hope you're having a nice saturday
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I will not start a project with denim when I've been awake for 19 hours. I will not start a project with denim with I've been awake for 19 hours. I will not start a project with denim when I've been awake for 19 hours. I will not-
#repetitive text;#manic posting;#i remembered in hs when i'd spend my manic nights writing somg lyrics in sharpie on my arms and legs and jeans#and then had the idea to stitch/embroider lyrics into said jeans bc i was PRETTY sure i still had them bc they were ny favorite and#idr them wearing out. but APPARENTLY not. i looked everywhere short of digging out the closet i've wanted to for a month#but that's got years worth of chewy boxes broken down amd stacked in front of it bc i am a disaster#(i mean to recycle them. that never happened. at this point i'll just put them in thw dumpster. when i get around to getting them out of#the corner and down the stairs#i took my meds at least (not the tegretol. i don't want to intentionally kill my first proper manic episode in /so/ long)#BUT i was then thinking about canabilizing old jeans to create the cut i loved about the old ones (but half what i loved was texture)#and then embroidering that#but my last manic project with denim left my fingers so fuckin bloody#bc manic me can and will not use a sewing machine and thimbles get in my way#and that was. back in 2013-2015. wish i still had that. never wore it bc course not.#i also don't have the manic project of the L (death note) inspired Lolita skirt#think theu both stayed in NC#man i left all the good shit in NC#but yeah like. to say nothing of the fact that ostensibly the roommate will be home and wanting to sleep at some point#and manic me and headphones are fucking rivals#manic me has a lot of beefs#it's almost like (and this might shock you) i'm manic!#(i promise i'm trying to go to bed at this point)#(it's bed or cleaning my room or denim project and i would like SOME sleep if i'm gonna do either)#(to say nothing of i need to do 3 expert roulettes in XIV and can you imagine that shit after literally not sleep?)#(mania will NOT save my ass from micronapping)#personal;#i'm so sorry for anyone actually reading all these posts and tags#but! if you are! welcome to my oversharing corner <3#also i am still planning on helping a friend clean and assmeble a chair tomorrow#which! mania is good for! i can clean! i love cleaning when manic! (my OCD ramps up when manic)
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It drives me mad that we *still* know basically nothing about Melina.
#elden ring#melina#seriously what's her deal?#What was that purple eye?#Why did she pick us?#Leading up to the DLC I was almost certain that she was Trina considering the purple and the sleep mist and the Miquella connections#and I still think it would have been preferable if she had been and she tasks us with bringing her other half to heel#but unfortunately nice things don't happen#I just wish we could save her without turning to Frenzy#I also just wish we got to interact with her more#I would have adored if we finally got a level up maiden we could actually be friends with#shanalotte and DS3keeper get close in certain routes (especially considering cut content for the former)#but I want to be Melina's partner! I want her to sit with us at the graces and comment on what we're doing#I want to discuss plans with her and find a path that doesn't end in her immolation or enmity#Like getting the keeper her eyes/soul in 3 and conspiring to put the flame to rest with her was *so* amazing#Imagine if we'd been able to find a new path like that in ER
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i see everyone fill up the gmmtv 2024 bingo card and it's like. i don't really have any predictions and i also don't have enough things that i want in order to fill up the entire thing.
i really only have three four wishes for gmmtv 2024:
firstmix 12 ep main couple series
earth/fourth return as an uncle-nephew duo
joongdunk series, but better written and more serious/deeper/grittier/darker/sexier this time. bonus points for vampires
midnight museum s2 but make it canonically gay and also bring back nanon as The One (and KEEP him as The One!!!!)
#i was gonna say ''three wishes'' like in your classic fairytale but then i remembered midnight museum#and i just HAD to include it on my list lbr#also i'm not too big of a fan of horny/sexy series bc i'm a little too much on the sex-repulsed side of the ace spectrum for that#but!! judging by JD's dum dum performance and also how excited they were for hidden agenda ep8#i feel like they would have a whooole lot of fun with a sexy ofts-type of series#so i want it for them#for their sake <3#gmmtv 2024#gmmtv 2024 wish list#airenyah plappert#adrm#actually dunk was saying only yesterday that he'd like try and act in a fantasy/magic related series#and then he gave vampires as an example sooooo 👀#also this happened RIGHT AFTER he was asked to give some spoilers upon which he told the audience to follow gmmtv 2024#(though i think he was asked by the presenter what kind of series he'd like to do)#(she asked him a question before he talked about the fantasy series thing)#(but i couldn't really understand the question)#anyway i'm very 👀#i suspect dunk def has a series planned for 2024. though i have no idea if it'll be with joong or something else#might even be a het thing who knows
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they don't know i'm planning major changes to my da worldstate,,
#wish i could be normal abt this silly game series. wish i could just go with whatever im vibing with#but nooooo i have to lose sleep thinking abt the Most Perfect Worldstate hhhhhhhhhh#think i might have to go with a dual worldstate solution. it's so much work tho...#anyway i loveeeee andrale but what if my warden was a brosca actually. what if andrale was a mage lavellan and my inky.#what if i was finally brave and conscripted loghain. alistair would become king... or exiled..... ough#i could see andrale making all the choices i'm abt to make in dai#but also i don't want to put her through the torture that is dai's story ahah#she loses a lot in dao but also gains a lot. love and friendship and a new purpose etc. meanwhile dai is just loss loss loss <3#or maybe im just being overly pessimistic abt dai again idk <3#also where would celyn fit in all this. would she still be a dao companion oc... or something else..... a dai companion?????#anyway i need to get back to my puter i need to plan this more. i need to make a brosca and see what happens#oc: andrale#oc: celyn#el.txt#i've spent the past couple weeks at my parents' n that's why i haven't rly engaged with anything here#the area my childhood hometown is in is so beautiful btw. every summer when i visit it hits me again#its the lakes!! they dont fuckin have lakes in the south!!!!#but there is so much lake here i am surrounded by beautiful lakes in every direction. sigh#anyway im going back home this sunday. will have more time to be here again :)#alsooo how do we feel abt the name ronya. i want my brosca's name to start with the same letter as rica's hehe#and ronya was the first name that came to my mind#idk... ronya brosca...... does it work
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Demon trying to feed on my insecurities: "You're a bad driver"
Me: "Of course I am. I hate driving. Going 80 mph surrounded by tons of metal is nerve-wrecking. I try to do it as little as possible. Of course I'm bad at it"
Demon: "You're a bad writer"
Me: "Well that part's simply not true. I never claimed I was the greatest author of my generation, but when I put pen to paper I know what I want to communicate and I usually do it well. If someone isn't impressed with my work, that's unfortunate but they're entitled to their opinion"
Demon: "You're a bad leader"
Me: "Well I don't know about that! I mean there was that one time when... Ok look just because people don't see me as an authority figure doesn't mean... 😠 You know you can be a real asshole, demon!"
#joking aside the reason I suck at helping people is probably not dissimilar from why I'm bad at driving#the joke is “having good ideas which would work if people let you boss them around” and#“having enough charisma to persuade people to let you boss them around” are two different skills and I don't have nearly enough patience#for the latter#but no really it makes me deeply insecure seeing sycophants rally around the most transparently incompetent and self-interested POS people#and meanwhile I'm getting called shrill and presumptuous for pointing out that the left-wing is poorly organized and I could do it better#can we agree it's at least a little bit because I have aspergers and no penis?#like I realize what I'm doing is the political equivalent of “but I'm such a nice guy!” and I'm literally complaining that no one#respects ma authoritah#but just saying: maybe I wouldn't come off as such a petulant misanthrope#if I wasn't constantly being asked to fix problems that could have been avoided if everyone listened to me in the first place#“nobody likes an i-told-you-so” yeah that's why democracies keep falling to fascism cus you want someone pleasant over someone correct#at the same time sooner or later you have to look in the mirror#and I can count the group projects I've successfully headed on one hand; maybe it's me#if it was just that people don't listen to me than yeah this would just mean I have an ego#but there are plenty of women the left could be rallying around and it doesn't because of minor scandals and anarchist ideals#it's stupid and I'm becoming a tankie just because i'm sick of the idea#that political goals can be accomplished without a clear chain of commmand#i don't need to be the leader but WE NEED A LEADER#the hatian revolution succeeded because Toussaint Louverture organized random slave rioting into an actual army#and I just wish I had that kind of magic myself but I might already be too bitter#ftr this isn't in response to anything that happened recently I'm just still mad thinking about an anarchist group I tried to join#on facebook five years ago where I asked point blank what the marching orders were and got blocked for being “obviously a cop”#and the mod comes at me with “anarchists don't have leaders IDIOT”#yeah well you're the guys always saying you only oppose UNJUST hierarchies idiot!#excuse me for thinking you guys had a plan beyond perpetual infighting#not everyone asking blunt questions about the anarchist platform are feds you guys are just paranoid and ableist#and when you block people for asking what game plan is it really sounds like you just plain don't have one (which is depressing)#I don't care how many books there are about how anarchism is more than just “wanting a free-for-all”#if you attack anyone who tries to impose a hierarchy just to get shit done it really seems like that first impression of
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hi sisters its poll results time
take this data for what you will
#snap chats#who kept saying daigo wasnt fuckable on these btw#they were saying that as if the fuckable results were losing 😭😭#its really funny that daigo is simultaneously Apparently more fuckable than ichi but not at the exact same time#and keep in mind only three more people voted on the daigo poll than ichi's yet LMAO#these are actually really funny results analyze these with me#because technically ichi is considered less fuckable personally to people but in general he's seen as more fuckable#while more people would personally fuck daigo but more people- while can concede he's fuckable- wouldnt fuck him#in general tho ichi is perceived as more fuckable than daigo by a wopping approximate 8%#hm..... disappointed in you lot i cannot fathom fucking ichi#i love him but.... well girl i cant argue with the science#but people would agree he isn't personally fuckable.... im squinting but also very intrigued#and again with daigo that one can get more complicated because i know people find Y2 daigo more fuckable/vice versa#sorry still trying to wrap my head around ichi being fuckable SORRY#im a scientist its my job to be objective and unbiased but WOW#AGAIN ITS NOT EVEN THE MORE PEOPLE WOULD PERSONALLY DO HIM IT'S JUST THE GENERAL CONSENSUS IS GREATER#but yeah. that was fun. goofy even#ALSO THIS ISNT TO PIT THEM AGAINST EACH OTHER i just happened to do these#and i dont really plan on doing any more so#as a stats guy i really wish i could easily get more detailed responses#i could do a google forms but i dont think anyones gonna do this again lmao#cant tell if its more respectable to be fuckable but people not wanting to fuck you or to be fuckable and to have people wanting to fuck ya#like if i were to pit these kings against each other who technically wins cause again In General Fuckability ichi wins#but for the audience wanting to bang em...#anyways thanks for participating you get a lollipop as a reward for your contribution
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I really miss writing for myself but hell, if I didn't have deadlines hanging over my head, I would probably never write anything again
#i miss it i really do#i'm just so fucking TIRED#i don't even feel like doing anything at all#never mind writing#i hate this year#walking on the edge of a mental breakdown all day every day#every time i feel like shit's calming down#something else happens#i'm so sick of it#i wish i didn't at least need to buy a whole ass fucking car this year#but my current one said fuck you (it's getting fixed rn but who fucking knows when the next thing breaks)#katie thinks she's relevant#delete later#i really really want to do that newspaper zine thingy but#yeah#no one would buy it anyway#i wasn't planning on paywalling it just voluntary pay-what-you-want but i doubt anyone will download it even so never mind actually donate
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also (this is it i promise) this is why i am so INSANELY excited to have my own room soon. like omg. it is definitely not perfect bc it’s at home and there’s a breaker box in it and you can hear footsteps really loud through the ceiling and also again *it’s at home* when i really need to not be living at home. but the quality of life improvement i am about to have is actually INSANE. i will be able to have a space far away from everyone else where i can sing without bothering anyone and play piano and decorate it (mostly) to my liking and have a desk and draw and paint and do whatever. finally!!!!!!!! that is going to fix me!!!!!
#purrs#i just wish it was permanent or that i had more years to spend in it. like i actually just want to find the place where i will live forever#and just stay there bc oh my GOD am i tired of living in places temporarily. i have so many issues w that bc so many spaces that were#formative for me have been destroyed (e.g. the van 😍😍😍😍 and my grandparents house 😍😍😍😍 and my favorite hs teachers classroom 😍😍😍😍) or are#going to be destroyed (e.g. the office where i work rn 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍) or ive had to leave them and move out bc they’re inherently temporary (e.g.#my on campus room 😍😍😍😍 and my room in brighton 😍😍😍😍😍😍). and ive had attachment issues w space / location : whatever my whole life like i wou#would have huge meltdowns whenever we were transitioning from like elementary school to middle school middle school to high school etc etc..#so i really just um. would like permanence and stability please. im 24. im done w school for now and maybe forever. i want to find a place w#where i can just like.. stay. so if im paying rent like something that would allow me to renew it indefinitely and not fear bei ng kicked#out randomly or at the end of a determined period. i just want a home lol i want a homeeeee and i want to decorate it with all my things and#never be afraid that i will lose it and get to stay there forever and ever or at least as long as i want. bc my parents already have plans f#for my new room after i move out and i won’t get to decorate it as much as i want bc my mom doesn’t want me to damage the paint. but like if#i have a place of my own then i get to decide a little ding in the paint is worth it to put up my lanterns. you know? idk. the mortifying#ordeal of experiencing freedom like thisfor the first time in my mid-late twenties probably 😍😍😍😍😍😍 but still its gonna be good and i hope it#happens soon and i have to MAKE that happen. so yeah.#wishlist#delete later#ok now im done for real THJS time lol. my mom is gonna be so pissed at me ive barely lifted a finger here. but im enjoying the quiet what ca#can i say!!!!!!!! like OMG ok last thi ng…. like she’s always saying i have to love myself first before i get into a relationship and it’s l#like.. maybe my living conditions do not predispose me to be able to spend time w myself in ways that allow me to love myself!!!!!!#maybe always being on the defense and needing to find quiet spaces all the time and being shamed for that is not a very good way to experien#experience myself in the place im supposed to feel most grounded and comfortable!!! so yeah.#like maybe i stopped doing all the things i loved bc you got alexa and loud speakers and started blasting music all the time and dominating#space and becoming more and more high maintenance… 😳 (and obviously i changed as a person / played a role in it too but again my point / re#realization is… maybe it was in RESPONSE to stimuli that were not good for me and not just bc i suck as a person / am losing myself / etc.)#like theeeee sonic warfare of it all. also my brother is a key player in it too bc he raps and sings at the top of his lungs and it’s like 🤨
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“No?” Ingall asked, gently rubbing her neck.
"No." She groaned against him as the younger ones giggled and snickered. 'Worried Tama's get too excited?' Shakko's voice carried nothing but amusement as Kit sighed "Keeping him from the Heart and Roots is hard enough, let alone a 'Interesting Soul'. Can you imagine how he'll be when he finds out someone effected our world this way?"
#aizawasluckylady#10/10 he might snatch her up to take her to the Heart/Roots too#not wish driven#just curious how it'd be with her closer#and not actually a planned kidnapping or even realizing that's what he was doing#just grab and “Oh come here then!” :D#at least this is what's going through Kit's mind#would it actually happen?#time will tell
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ooo that's minty babyyy
#just me hi#almost wrote 'babuuu' up there loll#anywho i got gum yesterday cuz i'm tryna stop chewing on my. everything hkfsh#lips + cheeks + finger skin. i don't like cuts v-v#i got miiiiiiiiint because they didn't have waaaaaaatermelon hbfsh :)#it's not so burny but i do still wish i had watermelon... ou....#//i wanna do something rn but i don't. know. wghat#pi.e is always welcome but i wanna work on bl.s but i'm also having my siblings play through a story that i have Stuck in my brain so hkfsh#i didn't think i'd get so Brained abt this one. and because i had them play it before i had an actual plot ready(just had basic world stuff#i can't think of this going any other way hbfshv - lotta fun interesting and weird things have happened that simply cannot be reproduced#/hang on my oven food must be turned lol#okey :3#/like the spy they ran into - idk if i've ever talked abt it lol but m gonna do so now hbfsjv#so they - my brothers whose names are fry and leo in this story. fry is an 8 yo tabby-cat sparrow and leo is the cat-dog-rat thing Shock :)#- anywho they're with the character Teddy and the three of them were going to head to the Crow Fortress to. fight them i guess lol ?? there#wasn't a like. real plan jfhsjv#so they're on their way out from the shore village-turned-fortress called Shimmery Shore and they run into a cloaked figure like a couple#miles off going towards Shimmery Shore (where fry's mother runs the fortress as general) and they start debating each other#fry goes 'wait what if this is a spy??' leo 'i dunno. we're going somewhere. so.' 'but if it's a spy??' 'well what are you going to do abou#it???' so fry asks the stranger 'are you.. a Spy [eyebrow raise]?' the stranger obviously says 'no!! what are you talking about???'#'that's exactly what a spy would say!' 'i'm sure a spy would also be saying the same thing! YOU'RE spies aren't you? this is all greatly#suspicious !!'#and the argument quickly came to the stranger pulling a sword and saying 'i'm going to pass now and you're not going to stop me' and the#group p much just put up their hands and went 'okay yeah sure man' and let them pass lol#the Squad argued abt it for like a couple minutes and then forgot about it shortly#anyway Shimmery Shore later fell to the Crows and it was due to some sort of slow collapse of their internal structures. and when they hear#that the two of them slowly looked at each other. and then started laughing kjhfsjgjhsv#anyway yea i do a lot of thinkin for this one on the fly. lotta stuff going on hbghfs#i'm bad at remembering finer details but at least i can keep my world here together lol :3#//ouh i've run out of tags.. okay m gonna eat my food n then do something hfh :) tooooodles !!
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people treat bisan, motaz and plestia like they're influencers instead of, you know, people who have endured/are enduring war crimes beyond imagining and ethnic cleansing. what I mean is, they never asked to be spokesperson for their people's humanity, or planned to be so visible. they're just people, ordinary people who can never go home, who are surviving colonial violence. what they're doing and what they have done defies any term of admiration or respect I could apply. But I wish that people would stop thinking of these individual Palestinians trying to survive in war zones like celebrities or politicians with actual power because it's just another form of dehumanisation. Ask yourself, what will you do if something happens to Bisan? If she is killed or goes dark or inshallah she escapes? Everyday I see posts like, "if Bisan dies, I'll riot!" riot NOW. speak up, now! Palestinians and Lebanese and Syrian people who aren't going viral on social media are being murdered by the occupation in the 100s everyday. I am begging people to stop hingeing their faith in the free Palestine movement and the movement to end the Zionist occupation on individuals. I love Bisan and Motaz and Plestia with all my heart and pray for them every day, but I'm begging people not to reframe Palestinian liberation through individualism. Support BDS, donate to UNRWA or the Red Crescent Society, listen to Palestinians across Palestine and the diaspora. Your belief in the freedom of Indigenous peoples has to transcend the ones most visible and palatable to you.
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