#just wish more people paid attention to me. like. i've always wanted someone to take me to the nurse's office and tell her what's wrong

[outlying-hyppocrate]

i bought roses for my entire class, and they all gave me a round of applause! i know they're probably just going to give them to their moms or something, but the attention was nice while it lasted (:

[barcaatthemoon]

flirty || alessia russo x reader ||

you flirt a little with alessia, despite the team's teasing.

you walked into the locker room like you did every other day. for the most part, nobody paid much attention to you aside from a wave here or there. you sat down in your cubby, immediately catching the eye of alessia, who was sat directly across from you. she glanced up at you and waved, which you responded to with a wink and wave of your own. like always, alessia looked away from you extremely flustered.

"careful, you flirt any more and they'll think you're me," katie teased as she nudged you. you rolled your eyes. there were tons of people already drawing comparisions to the two of you. katie mccabe was definitely your best friend on the team, but you didn't think the two of you played all that similarly.

you weren't overly aggressive, you were just stubborn. katie was the one with a shoving problem, one that you often had to pull her back from showing. almost everybody on the team liked to tease katie that she was more whipped for you than she was for her own girlfriend. the jokes didn't really bother you, but they definitely would have if you knew how much they messed with alessia.

that was where the true soft spot for you was. katie was bound to get her ass kicked one day, but you were prolonging it. in all honesty, you were pretty sure you'd actually be the one to do it. you didn't look out for katie the way that you tried to for alessia. that was something that kim and jen had quickly shut down anybody messing with the two of you about. both of them could see the care in your eyes every single time that you looked at her.

"that's funny, i don't remember shrinking six inches and losing all my muscle mass," you joked. katie wound up to hit you, only to be interrupted by kim clearing her throat. "morning kim!"

"good morning (y/n), you seem to be in a good mood," kim noted. you nodded as you started changing into your training kit. you turned your back to katie, and incidentally alessia, whose jaw dropped when she saw the new tattoo you'd gotten.

"what the fuck is that?" katie asked as she rushed over to touch your back. you were glad that you had gotten it a little over a week ago whenever you were on injury leave. katie's fingers poked and prodded at the tattoo, as if she couldn't believe that you had done it. "who the hell is that for?"

"katie, shut up, it looks cool," alessia said as she walked over to the two of you. you shot her a grateful look over your shoulder before you pulled your training kit on.

"thanks less, i'm glad someone has good taste around here," you teased. alessia blushed as your attention was focused solely on her for a second. "walk to the gym with me? you're much better company than mccabe."

"hey!" katie exclaimed.

"i'd like that," alessia said. she let you finish getting ready, surprised when you linked arms with her. you walked ahead of leah, beth, katie, and caitlin. you could feel all of their eyes on you, but you chose to ignore them.

…

"what's the deal with you and lessi?" leah asked as the two of you walked through the parking lot together. you quirked an eyebrow at her, unsure of what she meant. as far as you knew, there was nothing going on between you and alessia. if there was, you really wished that someone would have told you sooner. "you're very flirty, someone might get the idea that you like her."

"a little flirting never hurt anybody," you said. truthfully, it was starting to hurt both you and alessia. you wanted her to take the things that you said seriously, but she always seemed to dismiss it as friendly and jovial remarks.

"you like her though, don't you?" leah asked. you glanced down at your feet as you nodded your head. "talk to her then. i'm sure that she likes you too."

"leah, if she doesn't-," you started, only to be cut off by leah's hand covering your mouth.

"don't think like that, okay? i've seen the way she looks at you, and it's sickening. absolutely disgusting, i can't sit there any longer while the two of you dance around whatever this is. don't ask her out for you, do it for your team, who are all sick and tired of your flirting without getting anywhere," leah said. you knew that she was teasing you, but that she also believed alessia wouldn't reject you.

alessia and leah had a tendency to talk to each other, most likely more about these sorts of things than you did. leah knew why you were so closed off, having remembered your first big heart break. if she was pushing you towards alessia, then it absolutely had to mean something. that was what you told yourself when you made your way towards her apartment after practice was through.

"(y/n)!" ella shouted excitedly, ruining your surprise. alessia quickly turned to face you, a small smile appearing on her face. she seemed somewhat frazzled, most likely by what you assumed was ella's surprise visit. "just the woman we were talking about. come on over, give me a big one, it's been a while."

"you're ridiculous," you laughed. still, you walked over and engulfed ella in the biggest hug you could muster. behind her, you noticed a somewhat sad look on alessia's face. "don't worry, you can have a hug too."

"it's not-," alessia tried to protest, but it was no use. you stood in front of her with your arms open, and alessia walked right into them. she was a bit taller than you, just barely noticeable, but you took full advantage of it. your hug with her lasted longer than yours with ella's, the two of you not wanting to separate. "what are you doing here?"

"i wanted to see you, that's all," you told her. it was sort of a lie, but also so unbelievably true. alessia blushed as she tried to duck away from you. "if you're busy though, i can go back home."

"no, i want you to stay for a while. maybe you could help me with dinner and stay for a movie?" alessia suggested. you nodded, following her inside. ella ended up only staying for a late lunch, leaving you and alessia alone for the majority of the night together. alessia ordered in your favorite while you put on a movie you knew she'd love. "this is nice."

"yeah it is," you agreed. you were cuddled up beneath her arm, feeling warm and safe. you glanced up at her at the same time that she looked down, both of you pausing to look at each other's lips. "careful, if you look at me like that again, i might just have to kiss you."

"i want you to. god, i want it so bad," alessia confessed. you were immediately put into a state of shock as you stared up at alessia. she looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole, and as she started to move away, you sprung into action.

"i want to kiss you too. i've wanted to since the euros," you told her. alessia looked surprised. the euros was really the first camp where the two of you had played together. before then, you'd only been competitors, which hadn't left much room for making friends.

"will you kiss me?" alessia asked nervously. you nodded, moving up to press a feather-light kiss to her lips. it was supposed to be a peck on the lips, but alessia grabbed onto your face to deepen it. she pulled you further onto her lap, holding you against her with no intention of letting you go. "stay the night."

"that's moving a bit fast less. i'll finish the movie, but i really do have to go after that," you told her. alessia looked a bit upset by the rejection, but she understood nonetheless. and so, she kept you close to her until the movie was over and you got up to leave.

"can i have a goodbye kiss?" alessia asked you. you leaned down and pressed your lips to hers for a quick kiss. "oh, and a goodnight one? oh, and an advance on my good morning one since you aren't staying over?"

"you can't trick me into staying by making me kiss you," you told her. alessia pouted up at you until you gave in to her demands of more kisses. she may not have convinced you to stay, but she had gotten a good ten minutes of kisses before you actually left her for the night.

[kittievampire]

Could you maybe make a short fic of M/C plus yandere (preferably, Mammon) where at first it's non-consensual, but as the time goes on she gets manipulated into thinking it's all for love? I also think he should baby-trap her and do all kinds of shit to force her to stay with him.

Oh, my darling, of course!

I've been dabbling in the yandere smut side of the Obey Me fandom and HOLY SHIT it's INTENSE

Especially for my first love, Mammon-sama, I'll do anything for my sweet greedy boy 🥺🥺🥺

Lemme see what I have in my bag, my dear~

Click here if you wanna request!

Mine

Warnings: Dark Themes, Slight Gore (if you squint), Violence, Murder, Manipulation, Obsession, Yandere! Mammon x Reader, Dom! Mammon x Sub! Reader, Virgin! Reader, Cursing, Panty Stealing, Masturbation, Smut, Breeding Kink, Teasing, Baby-Trapping, Creampie, Reader gets gagged, Mating press, Non-Con/Rape to Dub-Con

🚨READ THE WARNINGS CAREFULLY AND PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANY TAGS🚨

Enjoy.

Honestly, he couldn't tell you when it all started.

Probably when you'd first gotten here and he was told that he would be responsible for taking care of you. Yes, that sounds right.

It was then that these emotions started. These feelings toward you, the compulsive need to be by your side at every waking hour of the day. Hell, you'd have to kick him out of your room most nights just to get some privacy.

You were just so perfect.

Something about the way you spoke, the way you handled things, the way you carried yourself. He couldn't help but love all of it. All of you. He'd memorized every little thing you'd shared with him throughout the time you'd been in the Devildom, noticing whenever you cut your hair by even an inch or the slightest shift in your attitude to know when you were upset.

And when you were upset, he always needed to know why.

So he could get rid of your problem, of course.

If you were upset with one of his brothers, he'd go speak with them about it (as long as it's not Lucifer), if you were upset over failing to comprehend something mathematical, he'd explain it to you in five different ways to try and help, and if you were upset with someone the two of you don't consider close friends, he'd console you.

There was this one time, however, when consoling you wasn't enough. Not for him, at least. The first time these thoughts became more aggressive and obsessive. The first time he became truly dangerous.

_

Mammon narrowed his eyes at you, pulling his shades off so he could see you properly. "He did what?" He asked. It was more like he was demanding you to repeat what you said.

You hesitated for a moment before clasping your hands together and smiling. "He broke my D.D.D. and cursed me out for being a human." You sighed, shaking your head in disappointment. "It's alright, though. I'll ask Lucifer if I can get a replacement."

Mammon really only paid attention to the first sentence. He bit down on the arms of the shades in his hand and scoffed. "See, this is why ya should just keep someone around. As the Great Mammon, I shouldn't be botherin' myself with taking care of ya." He extended his hand, holding out an index finger so you couldn't interrupt him. "But, because ya really need it, I'll go ahead and be your personal bodyguard or whatever." He huffed out, a light blush forming on his cheeks.

You furrowed your brows. "Oh, thanks, Mammon, but I really don't want to bother you with this kind of thing. I really don't need 24-hour protection, I just really wish people like him would learn from their mistakes."

Oh, you were so forgiving. He couldn't help the way his heart pounded against his chest at the way you spoke so kindly about the bastard who broke your property.

He should kill him.

Mammon flinched, dropping his shades and freezing in place at the idea.

Something you need to know about Mammon is that he's not really a violent guy. Of course, he acts like a relatively tough guy, and his title as the second strongest sin in the Devildom wasn't just given to him because the king was feeling generous. He just never resorted to violence immediately, it wasn't the Mammon Way.

Now, though, there was another factor to account for in this equation of his.

You.

While his title made demons fear him enough to where he didn't need to act on any of his anger, he found it very difficult to stop his knuckles from twitching whenever he saw someone you as much as complained about.

However, he'd never thought about murder. At least, not so seriously. This was different. The image that appeared in his head was the demon you were talking about, chained to the back of his car by the neck, and being dragged all around the Devildom. Then, he'd kill him slowly. Maybe set him on fire, too. Yes, that sounded nice.

"Mammon!" You called out, snapping him away from his thoughts. You tilted your head. "Are you okay? You kinda blanked out there." You ask, placing a hand on his cheek to get him to look at you.

Mammon flinches at your touch, a dark blush forming on his cheeks. "O-Oi! I'm alright, human, now get your hand off'a me!" He gently grasped your wrist, shuddering in delight at the feeling of holding you.

You raised a brow, pulling your hand away. "If you say so... Well, Asmodeus wanted me to help him out in Majolish, so I'll head over there. You have a make-up class, don't you?" You ask playfully. Mammon scoffed. "Oh, come on! Ya don't gotta rub it in, MC. Ya jerk." You laughed a little. "That's what you get for skipping classes. I'll see you later, Mammoney."

_

He was there.

The bastard was there.

Mammon was a few seats away from the guy you were talking about earlier. The guy who broke your property and made you upset. He wasn't paying attention to the lecture, no, he was watching the demon. Staring. Glaring.

The scene that presented itself to him before, among many others, appeared in his head. Many of them were at the same levels of gruesome. The thought of getting rid of someone for you was a little nerve-wracking but satisfying nonetheless. It felt right.

After all, he was no longer an angel. And this was a lower demon, a being of impurity. That means that whatever happens to him down here, he deserves it, right?

This is what Mammon tried telling himself when he dragged the large black bag all the way to his room. The only one who saw him was Beelzebub, but the Avatar of Gluttony was busy with takeout, so he didn't really take the time to try and understand the situation.

Mammon was a little relieved that you weren't home to see this. At the same time, though, he did want you to know that he was looking out for you. You should be grateful that the Mammon is so adamant about protecting you!

"Say, ya think she might actually say yes if I ask her out? I dunno if I wanna do it now, but, I mean... Ah, who am I kiddin'? I'll wait a little while longer. It's too soon, don't ya think?" He asked, making another clean cut to the demon's torso.

The demon had stopped thrashing hours ago. There was blood everywhere, but the Avatar of Greed wasn't sloppy, so he'd placed a cheap mat underneath the chair that his classmate was tied to, planning to throw it away later. Even so, he became irritated when he got no response.

"Oi, I'm tryin' to ask for some serious advice. Ain't ya a demon? Why are ya dyin' so fuckin' quick, huh?" He seethed, glaring up at the lifeless expression that the demon before him adopted. He sliced an exposed arterie and scoffed. "Pathetic. I dunno why I bothered asking shit from a bastard like you anyway."

_

He refers to that kill as his "first slip."

Mammon had multiple "slips" after that, all of which he convinced himself were for your sake. Demons were going missing left and right. Of course, you didn't notice, because you were so naive. So oblivious. So cute.

You would never suspect Mammon to be the culprit, right? He was your sweet Mammoney. He'd do anything to keep it that way.

While he was growing to love you, more than he healthily should, he still couldn't build up the courage to talk to you. Confess to you.

You'd better believe he tried though.

The first time he did after he'd taken up his new "hobby" was during passing period at RAD. He had you caged between the wall and his chest, both hands on the wall to stop you from leaving. "Hey, human. I gotta tell you something really important, okay?"

Mammon had made up his mind to tell you then and there. However, now that he was right in front of you, now that he could see the way your expression seemed to glow in his presence, the way it made his heart beat so rapidly, he just... couldn't! "What's up?" You ask dumbly after a few moments of silence. He bit his lip for a moment before sighing. "Uh... Actually, I'll tell ya later. I just remembered I had to go do... Something, I'll cya around, MC." Then, he scurried, leaving you standing there all dumbfounded.

Curse his lack of bravery!

You were just so perfect, he couldn't bare the thought of you rejecting him.

His thoughts were swarming his brain. Thoughts of you. He would think often about how your hands would feel caressing his cheek. How soft your lips would feel against his. How tight your pussy would feel around his cock.

That last bit was, by far, the most popular thought in his head. He'd think about it when he had his hand wrapped around his cock, stroking and bucking his hips into his fist.

He'd imagine you underneath him, moaning and writhing while getting pounded into. The thought of you in such a fucked out state was just so delicious. He wanted you. No, he needed you.

But he still couldn't muster up the courage to tell you how he felt. So, he just settled for the next best thing.

Your panties.

When it was his turn to do laundry for the House of Lamentation's residents, he found a pair of white panties stained at the crotch. He lifted them up a bit closer for inspection and caught a whiff of the scent the pair of panties was emitting.

Your scent, your juices.

Your cum.

It was your cum.

Immediately, he felt himself hunch forward, clutching the nearly drenched panties in his fist as he slammed the door to the laundry room shut. He took a moment to process, a dark blush dusting his face as he held your panties in his shaking hand.

Mammon swallowed the lump of saliva he felt pooling in his mouth, staring at the crotch of your underwear, feeling his pants becoming a little too tight. "Fuck," He muttered out, quickly moving to undo his belt, sloppily pushing down his pants below his crotch, reaching into his boxers and pulling out his cock. Immediately, he started pumping himself, desperation evident when he started to buck his hips into his hand.

He caught another wiff of your scent and groaned, hunching over as he pressed his back against the wall. "MC," He moaned out, loving the way your name sounded rolling off of his tongue. He imagined you calling his name as well.

Whining and writhing underneath him as he pushed your legs apart.

"Fuck, fuckfuckfuck." He slammed his fist against the door, keeping his glazed eyes on your underwear. He imagined entering you. Your warmth would welcome him inside of your pussy and your walls would clench.

If only he had your warmth around him.

Flinching, his gaze shifted over to the clenched fist that was pressing against the door, your white panties being squeezed in his grip. He moved his hand, adjusting the pair of panties so the crotch was easily accessible, pushing it against the tip of his cock.

Mammon hissed when he felt your juices push against him, shuddering at the feeling. You must've put your dirty laundry basket in the laundry room the same day you masturbated. It was still relatively warm, and that was enough to make him imagine how your pussy would feel.

Wrapping your wet panties around his cock, he started bucking his hips, grinding himself against the crotch. He let out small pants and groans at the feeling, his hips beginning to stutter as he felt a knot begin to tighten in his lower stomach.

So good, so good.

He closed his hazy eyes, imagining how you'd start to squirm beneath him as he pounded into you, whining and crying out that you were close to an orgasm. "MC, fuck, baby, you're so fucking good for me," He hissed out. His hips never stopped bucking into your panties. Precum started oozing out of the tip of his cock, and he was smearing it against your underwear. "All mine," He murmured out softly.

The second-born clenched his teeth as his hand gripped the door knob, feeling the knot in his stomach tighten even more. The warmth that your panties provided, the visual in his head, and the sound that he'd imagine you'd made when you came; a mix between a whimper and a moan. It was enough to make his eyes go wide, a stuttered groan escaping his lips as he hunched forward a little.

Thick white ropes shot out of the tip of his cock, landing ontop of the juices that had already stained your panties. He inhaled sharply, covering his mouth as if to save whatever dignity he had left.

Slowly coming down from his high, Mammon panted heavily into his palm, a cheeks red, and vision still blurry from his orgasm. It made him wonder how hard he'd cum if you were there. If it was you wrapped around his cock instead of your panties.

But he'd take what he can get, he wasn't too picky when it came to you.

That's why he started stealing your panties, among other things. When your underwear wasn't enough, small trinkets and pieces of jewelry would go missing, only to be replaced by the Avatar of Greed himself. He loved to see the smile on your face as you looked at him, he loved to hear you thank him for gifting you such things.

You were so cute.

Too cute for your own good.

You mean so much to him. Too much for him to let you go.

He doesn't want you to leave. Ever.

_

Your eyes were always something he admired. He loved staring and getting lost in your gaze, trying to determine exactly which shade of which color painted your irises. He especially loved it when both of you got lost in the others' gaze. Inevitably, one of you would blush and look away.

What he hated was the way you looked at him right now.

Fear was present in your eyes. Tears started to gather on your lower lash line as your bottom lip trembled. "Mammon?"

Normally, he loved it when you said his name. It was like music to his ears, sweet like honey. However, this time, he flinched at the hesitation in your voice.

Of course, he couldn't blame you for being scared.

You'd been waiting in his room, unbeknownst to the white-haired demon, and he walked into his room covered in blood. That, and the horror that was the bloody bags you found in his closet.

His movements were quick. In the blink of an eye, he stood before you, slamming the door shut. He towered over you, the almost-dried blood that had been splattered all over his body was now right in your face. Leather black wings lifted and caged you into the corner by the closet, the leather on his body, as well as his horns becoming more apparent the more you took in his figure. "Ain't anyone taught ya not to go snoopin' around in other people's shit?"

You flinched at his tone. He seemed angry. That's when a tear fell. "Mammon, what the hell was that?" You ask, voice trembling along with your body. The demon before you was in no better state. He was panicking on the inside, trying desperately to form an explanation in his head. This caused him to stare intensely at you, eyes bloodshot, bat-like wings flapping gently beside you.

"S'just some of the trash that bothered ya, Treasure." Mammon's voice shifted from frightening to sweet, a huge contrast to his bloodied and demonic appearance. The new nickname made you shiver. Under other circumstances, you would've loved the fact that he'd given you a nickname, but you were too terrified. The nickname sounded so wrong to you. So twisted. "Most of them either acted out of line around ya, but some actually thought they had a chance!" He smiled, letting out a huff of amusement. "As if those lesser demons had the right to even look in your direction." He took a step forward, and you took a step back, your back now pressed against the wall.

This made Mammon frown a bit, bat wings flapping in slight irritation and confusion. "Why're ya backin' away from me, Treasure? I thought that... I thought that you'd be happy to know that they're gone," One hand pressed against the wall behind you while the other made it's way to your hip. "Aren't ya happy that they're not in our way anymore?" He tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear.

"Our?" You repeated. "What are you talking about our, Mammon?" He sighed, the hand on your hip traveling down to caress your thigh. "Us, Treasure. Our relationship, our love."

You closed your eyes tightly when he leaned in, lips brushing against your cheek as his voice dropped in volume. "Don't you love me, MC?" He asked softly, feigning an almost hurt voice.

You allowed a few more tears to fall as you pressed your palms against his chest. While it was true, you did love him very deeply, you just couldn't condone this. You weren't okay with this! Killing people for someone else isn't love!

Right?

"Mammon, you can't... You don't do this kind of thing for love," You said, hands trembling against him. His hand moved from the wall to grasp yours, clenching your fingers tight as he let a shiver run down his spine. He let out a deep sigh in bliss, feeling his cock twitch in his pants from your touch. "MC, Treasure, I love ya. I love ya so much." He then gripped your wrist, pushing your hand downward.

You flinched when your hand reached the bulge in his pants, fingers gently tracing the outline of his cock. "Baby, look at what ya do to me." He softly breathed out, turning your hand to push your palm against his hard on, his other hand gripping your thigh as he started bucking his hips into your hand. "MC, I love ya. I just wanted to make ya feel better," He looked down at you, the hand squeezing your thigh being used to lift up your chin so your eyes could meet his. "I got rid of the trash that was botherin' ya, babe."

You shook your head, trying to pull your hand away from his pants. Mammon's grip only tightened, an odd feeling beginning to pool in your gut. "Mammon, this isn't how you- Mmh!" He cut you off, leaning forward to capture your lips in a kiss. Your lips were so soft, he couldn't hold back the moan that escaped him as he started moving his lips against yours. His teeth started nibbling your bottom lip to ask for entry. When you tried to pull away from him, he let out a scoff, the hand that was on your chin moving to slap your thigh.

You opened your mouth to let out a gasp, only for Mammon's tongue to invade your mouth. He bucked his hips into your hand once more, his tongue exploring your mouth and burning your taste into his memory.

He moved his hands, pulling away from the heated kiss so his lust-filled eyes could meet yours. "That's right... I guess I should be showin' ya how much ya mean to me in other ways, huh?"

_

Mammon had pushed you onto his bed, climbing on top of you and capturing your lips in another hot kiss as he started to tug your clothes off. He was truly a being of pure greed, he couldn't get enough of you. He wanted more. And he wanted more now.

You pulled away as soon as you felt your breasts come into contact with the rather chilly air and threw your arms over your chest. "Mammon, wait, please! I don't want this!" You whimpered, tears beginning to stain your cheeks.

Mammon leaned in, one hand hooking around your skirt as he kissed you on the forehead. "But you love me, don't you, MC? I'll treat ya right, I promise." He brought a hand up to gently grasp your wrist, bringing your hand up to his lips and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. "I love ya so much, MC. Everything I do's for you, Treasure. The way I feel about ya, it makes me do crazy things," He murmured softly against your hand. "Please don't deny me."

His tone of voice made you think that maybe he was telling the truth, that maybe he did love you deeply, and that was why he went so far. Maybe this wasn't so bad.

No!

You snapped out of your hazy love-drunk mindset, realizing that the now-dried blood was still splattered all over him. It was someone else's blood. Maybe they were innocent! Well, they weren't if they were down here, but still! They didn't do anything to warrant such acts of violence.

With a swift motion, he yanked down your RAD skirt and panties, eyes shifting down to catch a glimpse of you. You tried to close your legs, but Mammon had managed to catch both of your plush thighs in his grip, pulling them apart and closer to him. Your ass was now on his lap, and your pussy was closer to his waist. He smiled at you, almost tauntingly. "None of that, baby," He pulled you closer to him, your pussy now a few mere inches from his face. Mammon took in the sweet aroma you gave off, letting out a deep sigh in bliss. This was so much better than your panties.

Suddenly, the pact mark on the back of your hand glowed a bright yellow. "Mammon, sto-"

He was faster.

Before you could finish your command, Mammon had torn a piece of fabric from your teal RAD under-blouse, pushing it against your lips to silence you. "Naughty girl." His voice dropped an octave as he glared at you. You had practically been folding in half with how close your knees were to your shoulders. The Avatar of Greed then adjusted the fabric in your mouth, pulling on the sides and tying it in a tight knot around your mouth. "I didn't want to gag ya, sweetheart," He cooed, shifting himself into his former position: where your pussy was a few inches from his mouth and your thighs were in his hands. "But ya just had to be such a brat. Playin' hard to get can get annoyin', ya know that?" His tongue lulled out of his mouth. He maintained eye contact with you as he lowered his face, dipping his tongue into your sopping heat and tracing the line of your slit. You moaned into the makeshift gag, arms trembling as one hand gripped the sheets, the other reaching behind your head to try and untie the gag.

Mammon flicked his tongue against the bundle of nerves that rested above your slit, smiling at the way you squirmed and whined. You knew this was wrong. He was a demon, and you were okay with that, but now you found out that he was a killer as well? No, you couldn't be okay with this. You shouldn't be okay with this.

But it feels so good.

You threw your head back and let out a muffled cry as his mouth latched on to your opening, thrusting his tongue into your heat. Your walls clenched around his tongue, and he let out a moan in response. He wondered how tight you'd be around his cock if you were this tight around his tongue. It made him think that perhaps you hadn't had anything inside of this pretty little hole of yours.

Wait.

Mammon pulled away from your pussy, a mix of his saliva and your juices dribbling down his chin. "MC, are you a virgin?" He asked softly, gold and blue eyes piercing through yours.

You looked up at him through tear-filled eyes and nodded your head slowly. The sound of wings flapping rapidly filled your ears, which made your eyes screw shut.

He'd be the first to touch you, the first to defile you. He was your first demon, now he'll truly be your first man. "Oh, Treasure." He lowered your body almost completely onto the bed, and your eyes shot wide open when you heard him fumbling with his belt.

You looked down to see his cock, flushed and hard, resting on top of your crotch.

He was huge.

Where he sat between your legs, his cock reached just above your navel. "M'sorry," He said softly, grasping his cock and stroking it a few times. "I can't wait any longer, Treasure. I have to have you before anyone else can."

You froze for a moment, realizing what he meant. You should've shaken your head or done something to deny him, to stop him.

But you didn't want to stop. You wanted to keep going. You wanted him to ravish your pussy, love you until he withers away. You pushed your head against the pillow, lifting your hands to grip the sheets beside your head, and spreading your legs open a little more.

"That's my girl," He cooed, pressing the blunt tip of his cock against your hole. You closed your eyes once more, trying to concentrate on breathing as he pushed himself into you. He was slow and sweet, pressing kisses to your neck. "Calm down, Treasure, I don't wanna hurt ya." His voice, so soft, so sweet, made you forget completely about why you were so against this at first.

Mammon grunted at how tight you were, his eyes glazed over. He was trying so hard to hold himself back. You were just so fucking tight. He let out a shaky breath, one hand going down to caress your thigh. "Loosen up, Doll," He cooed once more, clenching his teeth. He was so close to bottoming out, but your hole continued to deny him.

Tears had fallen down your face, staining your cheeks and the fabric that gagged you. You were in an entire different state of mind. The stretch hurt, but knowing that it was Mammon stretching out your cunt made your body feel more at ease.

When he shoved the last few inches of his cock inside of you, you couldn't hold back the muffled wail that escaped your throat. Finally, he was sheathed inside of you. His balls were rested against your plush thighs, and his tip pushed against your cervix.

"Fuck!" Mammon grunted out, burying his face into the crook of your neck. Your chest rose and fell as your breathing quickened. You tried so hard to focus on breathing, focus on calming down so it'd be less uncomfortable for you.

Mammon stilled, and you took that as a sign of him waiting for you to signal him to move. He wanted to take off the gag and hear your beautiful moans, but he couldn't risk you using your pact to stop him. He couldn't risk losing the chance to share his love with you.

While he was in his own head, he failed to notice your squirms and whines, replacing the pleas that you'd let out if you weren't gagged. However, his lack of movement made you impatient, and you wrapped your legs around his waist, grinding the tip of his cock against your the spot that made you see stars. Mammon's breathing hitched, immediately gripping your hips with his hands and looking up at you with a shocked expression.

Then, the surprised look turned into a smug one. "Just can't get enough'a me, can ya?" He teased, dragging his hips backward. You could feel him moving and thought he was pulling out of you. You were about to whine in protest, but you got the air knocked out of your lungs as he slammed into you, his cock pushing roughly against that same exact spot. He started thrusting into you, looking down at your pussy to see how well it swallows his cock, as well as how much of your juices can be seen (and heard). "You're like a waterfall down there, MC. I knew ya loved me, I knew it! All those demons weren't a waste of time after all!" He exclaimed excitedly, picking up the pace to align with the hype of his voice.

Your eyes rolled back as you felt him repeatedly pound into you, balls slapping against the plush of your thighs at his deep and quick thrusts. "So good! So good for me, baby," He threw his head back, letting out a groan as he felt you squeezing the hell out of his length.

Suddenly, he pulled the fabric from your lips so it rested around your neck. "Mammon!" You cried out immediately. He only grunted in response and grabbed the back of your thighs, pushing them up toward you so your knees were inches from your shoulders. "Fuck, Treasure, so— mMmh!— T-Tight!" He huffed out, mind feeling a bit hazy.

All he could think of was you. How much he loved you, how much he wanted to be with you. He wanted so badly for you to love him too. Now that he had you, now that he deflowered you, the Avatar of Greed couldn't stop there. He wanted more. And, in his sin, will he indulge.

If he got you pregnant, you wouldn't leave. You'd be attached to him no matter what.

The thought made his cock twitch and his hips stutter for a moment before regaining a rhythm, albeit faster than the one he'd adopted prior.

"M'gonna make sure—" He adjusted your legs in his grip— "You never even think 'bout leavin' me!" Mammon growled out, feeling the familiar knot in his lower abdomen beginning to form. By the way your walls were clenching so tightly around him, he could tell that you were almost at your peak too. "Gonna make you a mama," He purred out, rocking his hips into yours.

Your eyes widened at this, gripping the sheets even harder as you cried out. "Mammon! P-Pull o-out!" Your whimpers fell upon deaf ears. That, or ears that only heard what they wanted to. "You wanna have my baby, MC? Hm?" He asked, voice as sweet as vanilla, thrusts as sharp and hard as a blade. "Can't wait to—" He hissed as your walls constricted around him once more— "See the look on their faces! When they see you," Mammon chuckled darkly at the thought, greed, love, and obsession overwhelming his senses. "They'll see that you're all mine! I'll kill whoever gets in the way or disagrees! You're mine, MC!" One final thrust to that sweet spot of yours and you cum hard with a cry of his name, legs trembling in his grip.

Mammon couldn't stop. He couldn't stop going until he filled you up, painted your walls with his seed, and permanently intertwined your fates. "Mine! Mine, mine, mine! All mine! Only mine!" He growled out, burying himself deep into the warmth of your cunt and spilling his seed inside of you. He let out a lewd groan, rocking his hips gently to ride out his orgasm as much as possible.

Once the both of you came down from your highs, he pulled out of you, pressing small kisses to your tear-stained face. He lowered your legs to put you in a more comfortable position, wings and horns fading away as he pulled you flush to his chest.

In your exhausted state, you weren't able to think properly. "I t-told you... To... What if I... Get..." You muttered out, eyelids feeling heavy.

Mammon pressed a soft and warm kiss to your lips, one filled with love and care. "Shhh, sleep, Treasure. Ya did so good for me."

Maybe it was the way his words were sweet and stuck to you like honey. Maybe it was the way that he expressed so many times during this exchange that he truly did love you.

Whatever it was, there wasn't a doubt in your mind that the Avatar of Greed wanted you out of everything else in the world. Every valuable item, every treasure to be found, all he'd be willing to give up just for you.

He'd give for you, but he'd also take for you.

The lives of the demons he'd taken so far couldn't be ignored. At least, you shouldn't have ignored it. But he did it all for you. All because he just wanted you to notice him, to love him, and only him.

Eventually, you'd become accustomed to the blood on his clothes, the protectiveness, the obsession with keeping you close to him even though you never planned on leaving.

You didn't need anything else. You didn't want anything else.

All you needed was your first man.

This was fun to write, I hope you greedy-boi lovers enjoyed this!

My friend looked at the tags over my shoulder and said "Why are you like this?"

Thanks for requesting, I hope you enjoyed this, anon!

[thedo0zyslider]

Cut Scene - Dandelions

[Scapped scene for this fic!, song is dandelions by ruth b!)

Oli hums, kicking his kegs idly as he watches the bar goers. It's a lazy Wednesday evening, and the Sheriff is currently shooting frequent glances in his direction. He always does that when Oli shows up to the tavern, which happens at least once a week. The other patrons just pretended to not notice at this point.

The bard is currently sitting on the bar counter like he owns it or something, instrument in hand. A lute, if Jimmy remembers correctly. Though he might be wrong. He, admittedly, hasn't paid the bard much attention in recent weeks. Not since fWhip and him fought....

It's pretty late into the night, and people have slowly started to file out of the saloon, and into the streets. Jimmy thinks, if Tumble Town had two saloons, most of them would be bar hopping. That, amongst other reasons, is exactly why they don't have two saloons. He can't be bringing up an empire of drunkards, now can he?

"Hey, bard!" One of the patrons yells out, sudden and catching the Sheriff's attention. He lookd over, curious. The shout had natrually caught Oli's attention as well. "You gonna play something or are ya just gonna sit there?"

"If you want a song you have to pay, my good man!" Oli says, a smile on his face and a laugh in his voice. He tugs his lute father into his lap, hands hovering over the strings; anticipating a request. Other patrons are looking in his friends (if they are still friends....) direction now, excited for a show to go with their drinks. Jimmy can't help but find the energy contagious.

The man who had spoken laughs, probably a little more wasted than Jimmy had assumed on first glance, and throws some coins into the air. Oli catches them with practiced ease.

"I think a slow song is befitting of such a slow night at the tavern." Oli says, casting his gaze over to the Sheriff. There's something sparkling in his eyes, something Jimmy can't decipher. Oli plays a few starting notes on his instrument, warming it up. Someone, or maybe a few people, in the crowd start cheering hom on. He smiles like it's the best day of his life.

Jimmy barley hears anything the patrons are saying. With just one mysterious look, all his attention has been focused on Oli, and will be for the rest of the night.

Oli starts strumming the lute slowly, focusing on the chords. He starts singing a love song, one Jimmy has vaguely heard before. He wishes he could remember where. "Maybe it's the way you say my name. Maybe it's the way you play your game"

"But it's so good, I've never known anybody like you. But it's so good, I've never dreamed of nobody like you"

Jimmy listens, along with everyone else in the tavern, taken away. The people around him still talk and drink and joke, but in quieter tones. Jimmy’s too mesmerized by the sound of Oli's voice to do much of anything.

"And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime, and I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine" Oli looks at him again on that part. It's a very brief glance, lasting no more than half a second. It takes the Sheriff's breath away regardless. "'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions, wishing on every one that you'd be mine, mine."

"And I see forever in your eyes. I feel okay when I see you smile, smile. Wishing on dandelions all of the time, praying to God that one day you'll be mine."

"Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time" Oli's voice slows a bit, before starting the next part of the sing, and he throws a wink at the crowd. More people throw him money. He catches it, and looks at the Sheriff again. Jimmy couldn't meet his gaze, even if his life depended on it.

"I think that you are the one for me. 'Cause it gets so hard to breathe. When you're looking at me, I've never felt so alive and free."

"When you're looking at me, I've never felt so happy. And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime" This is the part where Jimmy is very glad he doesn't have a drink. He's sure he would've spilled it or choked on it by now. Part of him wishes he had a chair, so he could go slack without sliding down the wall he's leaning against. The other part of him knows he wouldn't be able to get up if he did.

"And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine. 'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions, wishing on every one that you'd be mine, mine."

"And I see forever in your eyes. I feel okay when I see you smile, smile." Yeah, no, Jimmy’s glad he doesn't have a drink or a table. His beer would definitely be all ivef the table. "Wishing on dandelions all of the time, praying to God that one day you'll be mine."

"Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time." The Sheriff realizes, at this part, that he's blushing red. He keeps listening, and hopes no one notices. The other patrons have definitely already noticed.

"Dandelion, into the wind you go, won't you let my darling know? Dandelion, into the wind you go, won't you let my darling know that?" (Jimmy wonders what fWhip would say, if he could see this now. If he could see how red the Sheriff's face was and how fast his old flames heart was beating...)

"I'm in a field of dandelions, wishing on every one that you'd be mine, mine. And I see forever in your eyes. I feel okay when I see you smile, smile."

"Wishing on dandelions all of the time, praying to God that one day you'll be mine." The song starts to end, and the last of the coins are drunkenly thrown at the bard. Jimmy wishes it wasn't ending, and he could listen tk this man skng forever. "Wishing on dandelions all of the time, all of the time. I'm in a field of dandelions, wishing on every one that you'd be mine, mine"

The crowd cheers when he's done. Somebody loudly orders more drinks for the whole place, Sheriff included. Oli gets offered more money, gets requests to play more songs. The bard happily obliges, indulging Jimmy’s customers and all the money they give him. A waitress brings his drink to him, the one that customer had ordered. Jimmy doesn't take it.

Oli sings until closing time. The Sheriff doesn't hear any of the songs, rather disappointingly. He's still stuck on the first one, the love ballad, the one Oli had sung and looked right at him. He'll find himself stuck on it, mesmerized by it, for the rest of the night and then some.

Eventually, the saloons closes. All the seats empty and the patrons are ushered out as midnight approaches. The bartender cleans up, then leaves. The only people who don't are Oli and The Sheriff.

"That was a nice song." Jimmy hums. The building is silent, and has been silent since everyone else left. They're been standing here for five minutes, maybe ten, not speaking. He doesn't think either of them really know what to say.

"Thank you, Sheriff." Oli responds, crossing his arms over his chest. He's no longer sitting on the counter, having moved so the workers could clean it. His lute is strapped to his back, like it always is when he travels. He's basically ready to leave. Jimmy wonders why he hasn't all ready.

Silence falls between them for a second time, after that. They still don't know what to say. Minutes tick by. The Sheriff turns words, lot of words, over in his head. None of them, no matter how many he tried, sound right. None of them leave his mouth. It's frustrating. And horribly awkward. Jimmy wishes, not for the first time, that he had better people skills.

"Well, I'll be off now." Oli speaks up next, and starts heading towards the door. He had to pass Jimmy to get to it. The Sheriff stiffens at the realization. He hopes that is awkward as well. He hopes it doesn't make this whole thing worse than it already is.

"See you soon." He mumbles, trying not to make much eye contact. Jimmy fails horribly at this. The bard walks towards him, and the doors, brown eyes never moving from the Sheriff's form. And Jimmy, try as he might, can't manage to look away.

"Yeah," Oli responds, stopping infront of him. And before either if them knows whats happening, the bard acts on an impulse and leans forward. He places a quick kiss on the Sheriff's cheek, then moves away fast as a rattlesnake. Like he had never even leaned in at all. "See you soon."

Jimmy watches him leave after that, his face bright red and the rest if his body frozen in place. He doesn't move for a long time after, and almost forgets to lock the tavern up once he does.

[missvelvetsstuff]

Just A Number

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Reader meets Bucky at a party and the attraction is more than either one of them wants to resist.

Notes: Since most stories are younger readers I felt like having a more mature reader could be a nice change of pace. Especially since I'm creeping up on senior discounts and want to believe Bucky could fall in love with someone like me.

I try to keep my readers description vague but, as always, she's female, tall and this one is obviously 40+

Last chapter......

****A slow song came on and Bucky smiled before pulling her close. He whispered in her ear "You are so beautiful doll, you outshine every other woman here. And you smell so damn sweet. I could eat you right up" he growled when he realized that she liked hearing that and smiled at her shiver. He pulled back to look her in the eyes

"You wanna get out of here, sweetheart?"*****

Chapter 2

***SMUT! 18+ ONLY!

She smiled and nodded "I live with my sister so unless you want to run into her and Sam we should go to yours."

Bucky nodded and pulled her to the valet. He was careful about touching her too much around others, very aware of the fact that people knowing she was close to him could cause her problems he didn't wish on anyone.

But once they were inside his apartment he pushed her up against the wall and kissed her. She opened her mouth for him and moaned at the taste of him, their tongues dancing until she needed to catch her breath.

Bucky started kissing down her neck, his hands exploring every bit of flesh he could reach and working to expose more.

She stuttered "J uh fuck Ja god James. Need you, to to feel you. Zip zipper I-"

Her breath caught as he spun her around to face the wall and slowly pulled her zipper down, smirking at the way she shivered at his touch. Sensitive, he liked that.

He kissed her shoulders as her dress dropped to the floor and she let out a small whimper. "Tell me doll. I wanna hear you."

"S'good Jamie. Love how you touch me. More please." She whined

He turned her around again, making her yelp, and pulled back to look at her lacey corset and silk stockings.

He groaned "Fuck doll, you are so beautiful" as he kissed down her neck, over her breasts and her stomach until he was on his knees unclasping her stockings and rolling them down, one at a time. After he pulled both legs off he ran his hands up and down her bare legs until he barely teased her clothed core, gasping at the state she was in

"You're making a mess already but I've barely touched you, and you smell so good." He pushed his face into her groin, taking a deep breath and groaning loudly.

"I need to taste you sweet girl. Is that ok? Can I suck on your clit and fuck you with my tongue?"

Y/N whimpered softly, his mouth was going to kill her and he had only kissed her. That dirty talk was doing all kinds of things to her.

"please" she whined, he smiled and stood up, taking her with him to his bed where he laid her down gently and unlaced her corset, fingers dragging across her skin as he pushed it off of her. He stopped and paid attention to each breast, suckling and nibbling on her nipples until they were hard and sensitive.

Bucky reached up and ripped her panties off of her trembling body, making her gasp. He made himself comfortable with his head between her legs, wrapping his arms around her thighs to pull her closer. He nudged her clit with his nose and reached out with his tongue to taste her sweet smelling slick and groaned into her heat before he started licking and sucking, drinking of her like he was dying of thirst and only she could sate his need.

He clocked every response, memorizing which spots garnered a reaction, saving it all for future reference. He already knew that once, one night, wouldn't be enough. Her soft moans and whimpers were making him harder than he remembered ever being and he humped against the mattress for some friction.

Y/N was holding onto his hair, grinding her pussy on his face when she felt her orgasm building, as he devoured her like a man starved, moaning at her taste.

"Oh fuck, JJames. D d donnt stop, I'm gonna, fuuuucck!!"

She seized up as it hit her, her vision went white and she gushed all over his face, yelling his name "Jaaammess, yes!!"

Bucky pulled away from his meal to stare at her blissed out face and kissed his way back up to her lips as she slowly came back, still trembling from the intensity.

"You ok doll? Still with me?"

She smiled lazily and nodded "mmmhhmm. So good."

He smirked "You need to rest? Or can you handle more?"

She giggled "I can take whatever you can dish out, sarge." and reached for him.

He shook his head "No sweetheart, maybe next time but right now I really need to feel your sweet pussy wrapped around my cock. That ok?"

She nodded "Yes sarge, I need you to fill me up."

He reached for his night table but before he could open the drawer she grabbed his left arm.

Bucky froze, afraid she would be scared of his arm but she ran her hand along it which he couldn't actually "feel" but gave him a chill regardless.

She looked him in the eyes "I can't get pregnant and it's been years, literally. I want to feel you."

Bucky took a second to react and she worried that she went too far before he kissed her hard and groaned "Are you sure? Fuck baby, I want to feel you. Every bit of you."

Bucky rubbed the tip of his cock in her slick "Damn doll, pussy is so wet and swollen and fuuuuck."

He slowly slid into her dripping heat, almost losing it at the feel of her so warm and tight, stretching around his cock.

When he was fully sheathed inside her, she moaned loudly "Shit, James. S'good, s'full." swirling her hips to encourage him to move. "Pleeeaasse, Jamie. More, please!

Bucky grunted as he started moving

"as you wish baby. I'll give you whatever you need."

He fucked into her with slow, deep strokes, trying not to cum yet. He wanted to make this last.

Y/N wrapped her legs around him, it had been too long since she had anything inside her that didn't need batteries and he was filling her up so good.

"Uunngh James, cock is so big, fuck"

He felt her nails digging into his back, felt her body tensing up and could feel his own climax creeping up but didn't know if he could hold back when she came.

"Fuck doll, you feel so fucking good squeezing my cock so tight. You gonna cum for me? Huh baby? Gonna squirt all over my fat cock?"

He growled and fought to hold back "I'm gonna cum doll, fill this sweet pussy up."

He felt her fluttering around him

"You like that? Huh? You want me to fill you up? Till I'm dripping out of you? Tell me!"

She was trying to wait but was already sensitive and her orgasm barrelled into her before she could stop it.

"Yes, yes fuck JAMES!!"

Bucky kissed her and swallowed her moans before his climax hit him hard. He yelled her name as he shuddered and emptied himself into her.

After they both came down he kissed her again "Damn sweetheart. That was....."

She smiled "Yeah it was."

He tried to pull away but she whined "Don't worry doll, I'll be right back."

He returned with a warm wet cloth and cleaned her up before tossing it towards the bathroom and laying down next to her.

Bucky pulled her into his arms and they both dozed off, waking up to indulge twice more during the night.

Y/N startled awake and looked around in the dark, reminding herself where she was. Bucky had rolled over and was snoring.

She looked at him sadly, wishing they could be more than the proverbial ships passing in the night but he deserved so much more than she could give him.

She got up carefully and grabbed her things, throwing her dress on without anything under and carrying the rest.

She looked back one last time to see his peacefully sleeping face before quietly leaving.

Bucky woke up to his phone ringing and groaned when he answered "Yeah?"

Sam laughed in his ear "Come on sleeping beauty, we have work to do. Meet me at the base."

Bucky grunted and hung up before sitting up. As the fog of some of the best sleep he had in years faded he realized that Y/N had left without a trace besides the scratches on his back.

He shook his head in frustration, figured she was too good to be true, and got up to take a shower.

When Y/N left the uber, she looked up at her building and sighed, it was almost 5 so Dawn was probably up. She had already felt a spark with James but knew it couldn't work so left to spare both of them. She hoped he did find someone who made him happy.

Sam had already left and Dawn was in the kitchen with coffee made.

"Hey Sissy, how was the soldier? Did the serum, ahem, enhance everything?" Dawn teased, wiggling her eyebrows.

Y/N sighed "He was amazing, enhanced and knew how to use it. Best sex I've had since...." She choked up and couldn't finish.

"Then why are you here? He didn't kick you out did he? Because winter soldier or not, I'll fuck him up if he mistreated my Sissy."

Y/N smiled at her sisters overprotectiveness. It always amused her since she was 10 years older and 4 inches taller than Dawn but Dawn had always been the tough one while Y/N was the sensitive one.

"No, we both fell asleep and I left when I woke up. Left him sleeping like a baby." She sighed.

Dawn gave her the stink eye "You really like him don't you? Why did you leave? You'll never find someone if you don't give them a chance."

Y/N shook her head "You know why. I had someone and lost him, I don't know if I could go through that again. James deserves better than a broken woman like me. Enough of that, I don't want to talk about it. I'm going to try and get some sleep."

Dawn shook her head "You need to stop sabotaging your own happiness dammit. And keep your phone on, there's supposed to be some job openings coming up." and went to get ready for work.

A few hours later Y/N was woken up by her phone ringing, Dawn's ringtone, AC/DC Back in Black. She groaned and answered "Yeah?"

Dawn started talking faster than Y/N could keep up "I told you something was coming, there's openings in P.R. but you need to be here by 10 so get up! Love you, bye!"

Y/N stared at the phone for a minute before what Dawn said got through to her. She shook her head and hurried into the shower.

By noon she had a new job. It was assistant to an assistant but it paid well and had good benefits. She also had the same hours as Dawn so they could ride to work together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky and Sam were on a plane headed towards Eastern Europe to look for The Power Broker who was rumoured to have a new scientist working on a serum.

Bucky was staring at his phone, scowling while Sam bothered him.

"So you did hook up with her? If she's anything like her sister you should be in a much better mood." He wiggled his eyebrows.

Bucky glared at him "The sex was amazing but she left before I woke up. No note or anything. I felt like we connected but, yeah."

"Maybe she had work? Just call her when we get back."

Bucky shook his head "I didn't get her number."

"I could get it from Dawn."

Bucky shook his head "Seems she made it obvious she's not interested. Just let it go."

@supraveng @440mxs-wife

Chapter 3

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

I just wish I had someone who appreciated my original fiction the way I do. Someone, just 1 person, who would read my own universes and be inspired and want to partake in them and their lore. A single person to read what I make up from my own mind, and appreciate the effort I put into it genuinely and wholely. Instead, it's just my fanfiction, which I don't really write much of, that garners attention. Every piece that takes place in established universes, gets way more likes and reads and attention, versus what I pour my entire heart and soul and life essence into coming up with all on my own, which gets none ever at all. It doesn't matter if I tag and reblog the story 50 times, all 50 notes are from my reblogs and not 1 person even gave it a like. I've paid for advertising my books on multiple platforms. I've shared everything I've ever written as a rough draft for free on my pages so people can get interested in the final product. But no one even looks at those ads, or at the free 5,000+ word stories I write, let alone buys anything from me... I'm seriously pissed... My original ideas are creative, unique, and epic. And nobody cares.

Want to read about the legends of gigantic robots the size of mountains, which were piloted by people who, when they died, they'd lay down in empty fields in their mechs and pass peacefully as nature grew over the mech and turned it into an actual mountain? Go read my dream of the Titan Mechs, then.

What about a man who loves another man he can't remember? And every day the two meet by chance, one angry that he keeps crossing paths with someone not of his realm, and the other frustrated he can't remember this man at all but has a connection to him? And they search for a way to remain in each other's hearts and minds across dimensions that won't allow for such a romance as theirs to prevail? Go read Forgotten Magick, then.

What about sentient robots called Kydons whose queen forged a sword long ago that could control all technology anywhere in the world, and when she died, she hid the blade where nobody could reach it for fear that someone would use it to end her world? And Humankind rises up to find that blade believing the spearhead of the hunt will build something great for Earth with it, only for one Human to find out that spearhead is planning to ruin both Earth and Antu'rok and all life to rebuild everything in his image as the one ruler? So that single Human who found this out must betray his people and find the sword with the help of the Kydons to get it before the spearhead does? Go read my excerpt for Golden Horizons, then.

Are you curious to see how a single man serving Death goes on to become a god of all things good and righteous by inheriting the power of an ancient god who he freed from control of a wicked warlord and then, with said powers, kills to free the universe from falling into an empire of wrath? Go read Ascending Death, then.

Maybe you'd be interested in a universe where the world is made from four giants, all of whom embody a single trait, and when one giant chooses to make Humans, Death, in a jealous rage, casts a plague upon them all in attempt to end them, and one lone Human goes on a quest to find Death and beg for a cure? Go read A Means to an End, then.

Perhaps you'd like a world where Dwarves and Humans once existed, but the Dwarven mines collapsed and all Humans thought Dwarves to be extinct? And for centuries, the stories and evidence of Dwarves faded out until they were nothing but legend? But one Human man is determined to prove the existence of Dwarves, and find out if any are alive still or not? Go read the story of The Forgemasters, then.

And I have infinite more universes to look into, if you're ever curious. I'm always coming up with more and more of them, by the day. Please, support a small original fiction author, and, even if none of these appeal to you, go ahead and share because you never know who might just be interested!

[egg-emperor]

It's so insane to me that there was ever even a suggestion that Eggman would stop being a villain after Frontiers. Like no sane person would ever come to that conclusion after playing that game, there is literally zero material to even suggest that. And yet it was just crazy take after crazy take, people saying "time skip" this and "Eggman will be softened by Sage's presence" that and it's like bitch where? I don't even know what to attribute it too beyond the usual, these people just hate Sonic

I knooow, I still feel like a dumbass myself for not properly getting it for a while just because of what a mass majority of the fandom was saying based on leaks and jumping to the wildest conclusions. With so many stating it like absolute fact, I didn't even consider it not being the case and it killed all my interest and hype, ruined my first experience with the game, and made me not even bother to pay attention and analyze to make sense of it the first playthrough. But to my defense I literally wasn't mentally okay for a multitude of reasons that year then that destroyed the last straw of my sanity and rational thinking at the time so lol

But hey I've learned to avoid and ignore the entire fandom's opinions until I've experienced it myself and actually thought about it carefully and analyzed it properly to make sure they never have a say or influence in my perception of it ever again and things have gotten so much better! And yeah it was crazy how eye opening a few explanations and a second playthrough of the game was for me, when I actually paid attention and didn't believe that all the desires and wishful thinking that the fandom projected onto it were genuinely true. There were no hints to Eggman's character massively changing and being ruined whatsoever.

How the tables have turned that I'm now obsessed with and thinking about and analyzing it constantly and want to help people understand it. I now wish more people would realize how great Eggman's portrayal in it was but not for all the reasons those that claim to like it are saying because those reasons don't actually exist. XD It's so much better when you realize that the game is actually what I want out of Eggman (for him to just be who he's always been) and to no longer entertain people's made up ideas about it over the facts by acting like it's true because it's not. There's so much fun to be had and things to like for what it really is.

It was instead just a really cool exploration of his already existing characteristics that he's always had and how they affect and play a part in writing him in situations he's never been in before, further developing those aspects further without changing a single thing about him at all. Proving he can be deep, complex, and require some real thought and analysis to understand despite his simplicity as a character in terms of personality and motives. It actually just proves you don't need to change anything about him to explore interesting themes and that he has tons of potential the way he is. It's actually great how there's so much to analyze and think about.

A whole lot of the fan speculation and theories about this game directly contradict the actual events of the game, actions of the characters, and even the writer commentary. And with each piece of official media that has been releasing since, it's been proving it more and more in various blatantly obvious and undeniable ways. And in Eggman's case I realize I shouldn't have even been surprised since most of the people that were so adamant that he was changing drastically into someone else literally don't like him being evil and a villain and admitted that, so there is absolutely truth to that. They let personal bias and desires affect how they saw it.

I'm really happy that in the end the game canon really just further solidified his already existing characteristics and explored the scope of them in a fun new way and only proved that they can stand the test of all new experiences he has lol. It really just showcased all the things I love about him in a different way besides his usual active villainy and then went right back to that after it was done in all official media since and it has me looking forward to the future of his character with many more interesting things to analyze and think about and classic entertaining villainy to enjoy 🥰💜

[the-tarot-witch22]

Hi, love! I came to give you my feedback about a love letter from my future spouse.

First of all, what's up with the "Hola my pretty princess"? My first language is Spanish, so it was a mini shock haha, okay, my fs sounds like someone really honest and sweet, like "I can feel why I fell in love with you, but why did you fall in love with me?" (50% joke and 50% honesty). Something I wonder a lot is if you can get to love someone in many worlds, either after death or if there are parallel worlds you get to be with that person too, so reading the sigh part gave me a strange, but good/comfortable feeling, like you say goosebumps wanting to be clingy haha ​​after that part it was like "Can you hug me?" accompanied by a sigh :'')

I recently participated in a tarot game and your message was "You are beautiful, the most beautiful person I have ever seen" and you repeated the same thing, which was amazing because I don't consider myself beautiful, maybe just pretty, but I felt like "No matter what you tell me you are beautiful" because of the "I just want you to believe what I say" and in part, even without knowing you, your energy and way of expressing is really comfortable for me, and I am grateful for that, the things you said are things I fantasize about having a partner "growing together", "making mistakes but overcoming them" and "imagining a future together (both not just for one person)".

"you are my person, my love, my princess" god, he is definitely very cute, this part "at times I feel the urge to be with you to be connected to you, to talk to you, but is it really possible", is something that I also ask myself, exactly that, only I add like "Do you really exist? -sigh-", I had certain fears about romantic relationships especially if it was possible to find someone who can match with me and have the same interests, one of them was to grow together that it is not just a while and bye, but that it can be something lasting and in the words of my fs, I never felt that he would doubt what he said, "in our home, where we will grow old, with kids or pets, whatever you want or desire," it also sounds like someone who takes into account my decision and respects my boundaries, something that I also have conflict about is what I want to do and work on in my life, I ended up studying something that I don't like, but I can't turn back, I'm almost out, but I've been trying to find something that I like in relation to it, or maybe, something that I may stray but I like it and know that someone will support me no matter what makes me feel proud and grateful, I can relate to your words, it's really crazy how I'm reading the same things I think to myself, I can say that I'm also going crazy because of the distance, but as the letter mentions, I know that it's for the best and that we will come together when the time is right, I just hope it's before I'm 25 or 28, please god.

He asked if everything was okay, and just yesterday I had a little argument with a friend, and the message he sent resonated a lot, it had come out to me before that my fs is someone protective towards me and the "I will make syre that people are treating uou the way you deserve to be treated" confirmed it to me, I love him so much and I don't even know him :''), it's good to hear that he's doing well in life, it sounds like a balanced life between opportunities in his career and having fun/relaxing, it sounded like that until he said that he wished I was there to balance it, he's really very sweet, it's not the first time they tell me that he's someone who calls attention, something that is also that they told me once that probably one of us would be more extroverted than the other and I was sure it wouldn't be me, now I confirmed it since he mentioned going out to party or with friends sometimes, I'm the type that almost never goes out, another thing is that I've always been attracted to silly guys type I'm sure I would fall in love with someone that makes me laugh and it's funny how he expects me to see his good side and not the silly goose, though i probably like both lol, being smug? omg i really like his energy and the mature-funny type is definitely my type so i'm happily reading this over and over with warmth as i type the feedback, "at times i feel i have everything but i still feel lonesome", i can agree with that, it's a feeling i have too and for that reason i'm a bit worried i won't find him, though i still trust i will, i also wish to see him soon and i also hope he knows i love him and will love him very much, being "us against the world" with someone like him sounds ideal, joyful and happy so i'll wait patiently for however long it takes (though i hope it's soon!) and the last message lol my fs i'll believe you for now~

Overall the reading resonated a lot and i was impressed by how accurate it was. I also felt that chill and friendly energy, I'm a little surprised by that lol, but I get the feeling that he will take good care of me and love me, the mention of the golden retriever LOL there was one time I remember being told that I had the "black cat energy" and that a golden retriever would be good for me.

He really sounds very sweet and loving, talking about me and his pet names, sometimes I imagined types of couple nicknames and always came up with "love" and "baby", but the princess>>>

As you say, he sounds like a very amazing guy. Either way, I will take good care of him and love him a lot, too. Thank you so much for reading!!

Paid Reading Feedback!

Hey first of all thank you so much for such a long and detailed feedback, and that you trusted me with your energy to do so!

Second let's move on to the feedback - makes sense , because I heard Hola and I was like okayyyyy! I need to type it down for you, I totally get what you felt , and I know that comfortable feeling you felt, your fs is definitely honest and very sweet!

That's amazing isn't it , so honestly it was a sign he wanted to tell you reassure you sm! This makes me so so happy! I am glad my reading and energy was comfortable for you, and so was yours and your fs, it was really sweet to read! I am so so glad it resonates with what you want in a partner and definitely another sign!!

Trust me he was quite talkative , like just he wanted to connect to you, just like you do so i say the feelings are mutual, and definitely it's a long connection and feeling you would share with him! With him you don't have to doubt , because he is sure of you, forever person yk! And dw I feel it's going to be soon but when the time is right for you both! It's for the best interest yes, I just say go with flow , don't question don't doubt yourself because your fs is a gem just like you and he will cherish you. But I also understand your fears, but don't you worry

Oh definitely he is indeed protective towards you and your energy, you two seem like a match made in heaven , oh he definetly will trust me, he and you will care for each other a lot, oh definitely he is more than happy to meet you soon , just you keep going and dw for anything, I am sure things are gonna get better 💖

I am so glad the reading resonates with you, it really gave me such a warmth to read such an amazing feedback from you, I appreciate it so so much! He will definitely calls you by lots of nicknames and you had do the same for him so it's so cute lol.

He totally is! And I am sure you both will! Mutual love respect loyalty everything you have dream of!

Thank you so much again , love ! 🫂💖

Paid Readings!

[emiliehaunted]

you’re not going to be famous Emilie, grow up, no one cares about your “ad” videos that no one asked you to do, your only twitch viewer is the boyfriend you stole like you did with your last bf, we all know your photographer is your mom, you’re obsessed with likes, and whitewashing is a form of racial discrimination. You always need to get attention all ways possible, even with your fake suicide attemps, and then you wonder why I didnt care that you “tried to” kill yourself lmao stop begging for money and find a job like every person in this planet, grow up, there’s meds for migraines in case you didnt knew.

Hi! First, why taking your precious time to send me an anon hate message? If you don't like me that much just ignore my content and don't be so pending about everything I do. As simple as that.

I am going to answer this just because this message sound exactly as previous ones I've received in this cowardly way, and because I have nothing to hide.

The past few months I've been lucky enough to have some collabs with different business from outside my resident country (and I still have a couple more I am waiting to sign/for the products to arrive). The "no one asked you to do" is kinda a silly statement considering the companies asked me to do it and paid me to do so??? I literally sign contracts for that???

I know I am not a huge Twitch streamer, and it's fun you also know that because it means you took the time to research that as well. But I don't truly mind because I mainly stream for my boyfriend, so he can watch and comment. And if someone else can join then that's great! If not, then that's okay too! Even still, thanks to streaming I've met great people online and I've been able to sign some of the contracts I said before.

Oh, and I didn't steal him or my previous one. They had girlfriends before but were not in the best terms. Either way that's not a subject I should talk about; they are the ones involved, so they should decide if they want to speak out loud about it or not. And I just know one side of the story anyway.

I never hide the fact that my mom is the one who mostly takes my pics, and I actually love that because it has helped us to reinforce our bond while we travel to different places. Why would that be a bad thing? I haven't been able to collab with other photographers lately because I rather edit the pics myself and that's something they usually don't like. And also I am not always in the best of health/mood to go outside so it's hard to schedule a meeting.

I do like and tend to edit my skin to be paler, but that's a form of art, a way to express myself. I don't think I need to get into details about how I decide to create art because if you don't get it then it's just not for you.

Obsessed with likes? Sometimes, sadly. Not for attention, but because I wish people could connect more with what I do, and I could have more clients as photographer. But that's it.

It's so sad that you claim that someone faked a suicide attempt. In my case I don't care anymore because I've learn to being dettach from people like you, but your words could actually hurt someone, which I know it's your goal here, but that won't make you feel better at the end. I don't have to prove you, or anyone, anything. I know what I've lived, my closest ones know what I've lived, my doctors know what I've lived. I could show you the meds I take, my medical record, my hospital bracelets, but even then you wouldn't believe it so what's the use?

Again, I take the time to answer because I have nothing to hide. I am an open book and if my story helps to someone else to survive a living Hell, then I am glad I've shared it.

Hope you find a way to stop hating people to the point to feel the need to write a message, and just live your life. That's not good for you, or for anyone~

[walker-extended-universe]

Ok, some of my thoughts.

Happy for Cassie but if I was running the interview, the second she said her mistake was trusting her partner, she'd be out. She's showing clear contempt towards someone who be her subordinate. Also to me it shows a lack of taking responsibility. Even if she's right (which personally I don't think she is) that would be a red flag as an interviewer.

I knew the second she told Cordi he was going to get someone killed that Luna was dying. And I knew she was going to blame him (even if he was literally kidnapped). And I don't love all that.

Also I get Geri but her complaints boiled down to "I was grieving my ex boyfriend and then you got kidnapped and weren't there for me." And idk if bothered me lol.

Everyone who was mad at Cordell seemed to say "I'm mad at you for not telling me when you weren't okay." When I feel like they should try to have at least... Some compassion for him?

I will say the scene with the blender PTSD flashback and Geri talking him through it was nice. That's what I've been wanting for awhile and I'm a bit sad it took the final episode to get it lol.

Anyway I had a lot of thoughts and they weren't all negative. I just binged the last 8 episodes and there were a lot of negative words towards Cordell which always frustrates me.

Overall I am sorry to see the show go.

Honestly, I wasn't a fan of Cassie getting the promotion either. I think it should've gone to someone else entirely, but that wasn't my choice and she does seem happy with it so good for her <3

But I don't agree with your assessment on her answer to that question. She wasn't showing contempt toward Cordell; she was expressing that she wished she'd paid more attention to the signs that he wasn't okay. To me, that answer was her saying that she wished she'd properly intervened sooner, which is actually a pretty decent answer. I have a feeling we won't agree on that though and that's okay. The important thing is that she grieved and learned and she and Cordell are on better terms now.

I also disagree with your points on Geri. That's a very surface level assessment of her argument. Her complaint wasn't just that Cordell wasn't there for her; it was that he shut her out and, as a result, she wasn't able to fully rely on him either. Which is... kind of the point of an equal relationship.

Everyone who was mad at Cordell seemed to say "I'm mad at you for not telling me when you weren't okay." When I feel like they should try to have at least… Some compassion for him?

This feels like a very unfair complaint when people were very compassionate to him for the entire season despite him pushing everyone away. And it's not just that he didn't tell them he wasn't okay; he actively lied to everyone, put himself in more danger, and made everything much harder for everyone with the idea that everything would be Fine once the case was over. Which is a pattern of behavior we've seen from him before. Honestly I would've been tired of that too and probably would've dumped him much earlier so I say he got lucky with Geri on this one.

Binging the last 8 episodes probably altered your opinion of this one but I'm not going to fault you for that. We'll just agree to disagree.

I'm sad to see the show go too, but I'm happy with what we have and very much look forward to the DVDs

[destinyc1020]

Confession for Sunday:

Not to be negative, but I can't stand some solo Tom fans on this website and on Twitter being so negative. Twitter, I've not gonna comment on because it's so deranged, so I've left it, but solo Tom blogs on here are so damn negative. I can understand their frustration being a fan of someone whose career it seems to always be tested by the critics and online public perception, but acting like his is in a bigger disadvantage than most actors, especially dei when his biggest roles are in Marvel, Uncharted and Cherry is crazy I'm sorry. My irritation is becaue I can tell one blog is run by a black woman its giving CC vibes no shade, and it's embarassing and sad to get angry or annoyed if he posts his Z on his ig account as opposed to his work. His play is in a few days, trust me he's more than fine!!!!

Like, he's been doing this for years,sorry. He was posting her even when they were just "mates," lol. Or get angry when fans of both post about him getting jacked and calling it "icky." When has it been icky to thirst over beefy Tom??? Do you understand this behaviour isn't exclusively to Tom. All yt celebs men get thirst after on even if they are very slim or super thick I'm sorry. Gatekeeping a public figure is crazy I'm sorry.

Like I understand being a Tom stan ain't for the weaK. Like, we've been through it, lol. The future castings he passed on, the wish for more career opportunities, stans of yt male celebs picking on him, especially ones who have been Z's costars, reading puff pieces against him in service of other actors have been rough, but I recently read that Tom doesn't care about articles about him much on Doms patreon, so I stopped caring tbh. English celebs generally go by the never complain, never explain motto when it comes to the media. Harry Styles uses it, too. I only care about what he tells us, not the other way round.

Like you guys want him to be something that he's not, and it's so tiring going round in circles. It's a silly comparison, but Tom Cruise is a questionable person who I feel is private despite knowing a lot him. Most ppl who work 9 to 5 don't care to read blogs or information about him. They see him in a good movie, they watch and have fun and go home. That's it. Tom isn't Cruise, thank god, but he mentions Christian Bale and Cillian Murphy as actors whose careers he wants to have, which is to do the work and retreat to his personal life. A lot of young actors want to do that now cause as a society, we know too much of each other.

Him not posting R+J was a bummer, but strategically, it's very smart because in this digital age, ppl want everything immediately.

Mystery builds hype. 101 marketing.

Anyways, that's my two cents.

Whew, okay…. Obviously something is going on in the fandom rn which I am not privy to, because I’m currently at work lol, because you’re like the second Anon that I’ve had in my inbox complaining about this today.

Is this all because Tom posted Z on his Instagram?? Geez people (antis) smh lol…. Get a grip! 🙄 Deal with it! Tom has a right to post his gf to his Instagram if that’s what he wants to do.

First of all, Twitter can be such a cesspool. ☹ I highly recommend not even paying much attention to what’s being said on Twitter, or, at the very least, not taking it SERIOUSLY.

Second…. I will have to agree with you somewhat on the topic of how some fans in Tom’s fandom behave. I almost feel like fans in Tom’s fandom don’t just allow him to just be? It really is sad imo. I actually have a bit of a theory as to why this is the case. This is just my personal theory, so of course, take this with a huge grain of salt… But I kind of feel like the reason why Tom is held at such a high standard (in his OWN fandom) is because most of his fans only became his fans due to Spiderman/Marvel/MCU hype. My guess is that not a lot of current Tom stans today knew or paid much attention to him PRIOR to Spiderman. So, a lot of Hollanders (Tom stans) probably were used to Tom “winning” right from the beginning right out of the gate.

Whereas, some of the stans of other popular wm fandoms (i.e. JE, Timothee Chalamet, Zac Efron, Dylan O’Brien, Ryan Gosling, Austin Butler, Bill Skarsgard, even Mike Faist, etc.) were probably fans of these guys back when they were not as well known, or when their careers weren’t as “hot” as they are currently. So, their fans are used to them being in a “struggle” position and have been patient, understanding, and open to a wider variety of “wins” and even “fails” for their male faves. They love them regardless….no matter what is going on.

But with Tom, because he gained most of his fans probably more so due to Spiderman/Marvel/MCU, I feel like his fans are/were used to him being the hot new “It Guy” right off the bat, and his stardom went CRAZY overnight, so they haven’t been there in the trenches when Tom was just an “unknown” actor. They didn’t love him before he was super hot and everywhere like he is today. So I think they don’t allow him the grace and understanding that a lot of other fandoms usually give their own faves.

Don’t get me wrong, some other fandoms do clown their faves too ROTFL! 🤣(Make no mistake about that lol) But I think Tom is held to such a higher standard because he started off as the “It Guy” , and so now, when his fans see other actors getting some addicted, or maybe “taking his spot” (maybe in their minds?) they get upset/angry/jealous/negative etc.

Idk, that’s my theory?🤷🏾‍♀️

For me, I’m the type of fan that’s just like how you described most people are with actors such as say Tom Cruise. While I always wish the best for my actor faves, at the end of the day, I know it’s not MY life, and I just want them to be happy. I go see a Tom Cruise movie, and I’m good! 😃 I’m not worrying about his career in the meantime, or worried if he hasn’t made a film in 3 years or whatever lol. I just take things as they come!

I think part of the reason why Tom’s fandom is so hard on him is because they have these crazy expectations on him because they see it as some type of “competition”, instead of just letting Tom BE.

I think that if you’re a TRUE fan of someone, you love them when they’re “down” and when they’re up. Don’t be a “fair-weather” fan in other words. It’s okay for an actor to have a “Down” period. This industry is very transient and challenging. It’s okay for an actor to “take a break”. It’s okay for an actor to have some hits and even some misses in their career! That’s NORMAL! Fans are way too hard on Tom imo.

I already gave my theory as to why that might be the case, but if you all have any other ideas/theories, by all means, let me know!

Re: Your Last Part about R&J…

Tom has posted about R&J a couple of times, no?? I’m sure he will post even MORE as the play gets underway. I even expect him to MAYBE do a video collage at some point showing the process. That would be super cool. 😊

[purplesurveys]

1805

Do you have a fan/air conditioning on right now? I have my aircon turned on, yeah. The colder weather flew by in the blink of an eye and now it's back to being hot and humid and gross and needing to have some sort of ventilation in front of my face 24/7.

When was the last time you sang along with a song? Which one was it? It was when I was singing along to Turn It Off by Paramore in the car earlier this afternoon, on my way home.

Are you currently wearing any hair accessories? Which ones? I have a hair tie on since my hair's in a loose bun.

Have you ever wished you had a different name? Which name would you choose? Wanting a different name was more the case when I was a kid, because children were brutal and bullied me to oblivion for my name; at one point I was insisting my family start calling me Isabelle just to escape the flinches I'd get whenever I'd hear my name.

Over the years and as those kids got older and started leaving me alone, I warmed up to my name and now think it's pretty badass.

Do you often press the wrong keys on the keyboard? No I'm pretty good at typing and the only time I get kind of clumsy is when I use a keyboard I'm not super used to.

Have you ever customised an item of clothing? What did you do to it? I've never done that; I've never been creative enough to DIY stuff.

When was the last time you got a splinter stuck in you? D: Less than a year ago.

Do you prefer drawing or painting? Any particular reason why? Painting. It's more therapeutic for me and at least with painting you can use the most random colors and shapes possible and it'd still, like, amount to something lol. I can't draw to save my life.

Are you saving up for anything right now? What? I'm saving up for life in general. With my resignation taking effect and me being down to my last four paychecks while I look for my next job, I don't plan on spending much until I settle the latter.

Are you any good at playing pinball? Nope.

Do you own any figurines? Of what? I don't. Not really my cup of tea to collect.

If you have any siblings, how much rivalry is between you all? I don't speak with my brother; my sister and I are great as can be.

When did you last have itchy eyes? It's been a while. This doesn't happen a lot.

If forced to go camping, would you rather sleep in a tent or a caravan? I would go with the caravan.

Is it dark outside right now? It is, since it's nearing midnight.

How often do you get jealous of other people? What is it usually about? Tbh no not really. I'm usually so much more caught up in my own life and my own problems that I've stopped paying attention to the ways I could possibly compare myself to others lol.

Do you prefer framed photos or just sticking photos straight onto walls? I don't do either of those but I wouldn't mind placing photos directly on my wall. It gives off a kind of raw aesthetic that I'm into.

What’s your favourite type of cake? I would never turn down cheesecake.

Have you ever woken up from a dream and believed it to have been real? All the time, which is why I always need to take a while to wake up lol.

When was the last time you brushed your teeth? Earlier this evening.

How tired are you right now? I'm not. I'm all excitement cos it's a long weekend hahaha.

When was the last time you had an argument with someone? What was it about? Idk if it counts as arguing but I guess I had a bit of a back and forth with Leah earlier this week? We met to discuss my resignation - she was offering all sorts of counterproposals, from a sabbatical to an all expense paid trip to anywhere I want - and on my end my goal was to be able to make her understand why any offer from here would be met by a firm no from me, as shitty as I feel about it.

If there’s a bug in your room, can you sleep or do you need to get it out? That bug would need to get out.

How long have you gone without sleep? Like, today? I've only been up for around 14 hours.

Can you drive yet? How good are you at it? I can drive, but idk, when can you start self-claiming that you're a good driver haha?? I'd say I keep careful while knowing how to use my tiny car to my advantage, but I do get major anxiety when I have to merge or switch lanes. That shit takes me way too long to accomplish hah.

Do you prefer travelling alone or with people? With people. I can barely take care of myself and know it would be a mess if I ever tried traveling on my own. It's something I want to try, of course, but I'm also well aware of my own watchouts for myself lol.

Did you listen to the radio today? Briefly when I got into my Grab rides to and from the office. I ended up listening to my own music both times.

What was the last baby animal you saw? That cute little puppy from a work-related TVC shoot.

Generally speaking, is it warmer or colder in your house than outside? It's ever so slightly colder; but if it's humid outside then it would usually be just as shitty inside.

When was the last time you threw up? Less than a month ago. Work anxiety.

Do you give people high fives or hugs more often? High fives and fist bumps.

Have you ever tie-dyed something? Just once, when it was an activity in school. We did it to a t-shirt.

Name something you thought was cool when you were younger but don’t now: Having an iPad. It felt almost revolutionary a decade ago and now it's like "well everyone has a tablet and it's kind of necessary for a lot of situations now so eh" lol.

How long does it usually take you to get to sleep? Less than 10 minutes. It's easy but it's also because I knock myself out by using my phone.

When did you last get a papercut? December.

Which do you prefer: Blackboards or whiteboards? Whiteboards. Blackboards are a bitch to clean up.

What sort of things do you have bookmarked in your internet browser? I never really bookmark things on my browser anymore.

Are / were you spoilt? Would others agree or disagree with you? To an extent, but I never was a dramatic kid and my parents only ever bought things for me so long as I earned it. I just say 'to an extent' because compared to my siblings I admittedly have more expensive preferences that my parents provided for me whenever they could.

What are you wearing right now? A sleeveless top and shorts.

What was the last book you read? Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982.

[crossdressingdeath]

I wish the game allowed you to challenge Alistair more. Like he gets to throw tantrums and ignore responsibilities willy-nilly but the Warden is an asset of they d9 the same? What? Also in DAI he is bitter about the Warden for seemingly no reason. I mean, sure, the whole situation with Morrigan that happens if the Warden is female sucks but everything about the Blight sucked. And the whole mess with Morrigan is literally the only time Alistair is asked to step up. Again, the whole situation is a crappy one. But he is equally bitter if the Warden is male and did the deed with Morrigan himself.

Basically Alistair gets to throw tantrums and shirk responsibility but is then still bitter 10+ years later for the one time he was asked to do something? Or not in the case of a male Warden. (Side note : I hate that whole situation with Morrigan in DAO)

I can't really speak to Alistair's attitude towards the Warden in DAI, since the only world state I've played in DAI features him as king and the subject doesn't really come up there. I do know that if he's a Warden and the Warden did the ritual but didn't romance Morrigan/follow her through the Eluvian he gets on her case a bit about not letting the Warden meet his kid, which is... kind of sweet, even though a) it's not actually his business and b) that was the deal from the start and the Warden agreed to have said kid with the understanding that he would likely never meet them. Like, that was the deal. Was it a good deal? No, it was an incredibly shitty situation all around and no one is happy with it. But that was the deal.

Similarly I can't comment on Alistair's response to having to do the ritual himself, because the only Warden I've successfully reached that point with is a guy who does it himself. I know Alistair is grossed out by it, which is fair enough given how much he and Morrigan dislike each other, but that's all I know. Loghain making a point of saying that he intends to close his eyes and picture his dead wife, specifically bringing up that she's dead, is just more fun to me (especially with Morrigan then either deliberately or accidentally misunderstanding him and thinking he means to envision said wife's desiccated corpse, the group dynamic with Loghain is everything to me) so I've paid more attention to it.

But yeah, Alistair clearly does not like being told to step up for the sake of the group or the world. Which in and of itself would not be a bad thing character-wise, to be clear! That thing about how he prefers to follow and never wanted or expected to be forced into a position of leadership among the Wardens (and especially not so early into his time with them; he's only more experienced by the Warden because they started like a day ago, not because he's actually experienced) is deeply understandable and sympathetic! It's not bad that Alistair doesn't want to be in charge; god knows I'd be a massive hypocrite if I said it was, some people just are not comfortable with having to be in charge and will default to looking for someone else to listen to whenever possible (and I am one of them). Not wanting to lead is not in and of itself a flaw. If everyone in the world always wanted to be in charge nothing would ever get done.

But see, hypocrisy really is the issue here, because Alistair refuses to consider that maybe the people around him feel the same as he does. If you think about it, if we set aside the Warden themself (since as a player character their views on leadership vary) no one in the Warden's group other than Sten actually wants to be in charge. They all have their own opinions, but only Sten will actually try to claim leadership of the group from the Warden (Leliana, Shale and Wynne will all fight the Warden to the death at certain points, but they're just trying to stop you from doing something specific, not trying to take over the whole group). They can hate you for what you do, but they do not want to take over the group even if doing so would ultimately be better for everyone. These people clearly are not for the most part natural-born leaders comfortable with and/or actively wanting full control; if they were we'd have significantly more scraps over leadership of the group than we do. If everyone in the group said "Well, I don't want to be in charge, so I'm just gonna not" nothing would ever have gotten done and Ferelden would've been fucked! And Alistair clearly understands that, given how pissed he gets at the Warden if they go "Hm, what if I just don't?" about having leadership dumped on them. Someone has to step up, take charge, and do the job that no one wants to do. Alistair grasps that. He just doesn't grasp that his name should be and is in the hat for that particular burden. Someone has to step up no matter how little they want to, Alistair knows this, but he thinks it should be someone else. He calls the Warden out for refusing to take on leadership if they suggest leaving to find other, more experienced Wardens... but it never seems to occur to him that if it's shitty of them to look for someone else to dump the burden onto it was shitty of him to do that to them in the first place. Alistair is basically one of those people who stands around in awful situations going "Someone should do something!" while not actually stepping in even though they could.

Basically the main issue with Alistair isn't that he would much rather have someone else giving the orders, that's entirely fine and sets him up to be a really solid second-in-command. Unless your story is intended to include power struggles you want most of the supporting cast involved in the main group to have no real desire to lead, because that's the easiest way to keep that particular point of contention calm! The issue is that he doesn't want to be in charge and actively rejects that role... but then expects the people around him to take the role he rejected without a fuss even if they also don't want to be in charge. As far as Alistair is concerned he gets to refuse leadership on the grounds that he personally doesn't want it, but no one else gets to do the same. And the way the player is never allowed to call him on that is a huge problem, because that would logically be the number one sticking point between him and a Warden who didn't want to be in charge.

[juulz]

Hi Juulz, welcome back! I'm glad you had a good trip!

It pumps me the fuck up to know you enjoy my analyses and that based on the tags, find them helpful in arranging ideas. That is the highest honor for a little fangirl such as myself. I am a shameless lore whore, so getting to piece things together and unraveling the backstory is so much fun. So is brainstorming additional story details canon leaves out or unclear.

I've heard people say that, "assuming makes an ass out of you and me both," and I think I see why lmfao. Between me being a hopeless romantic, calling on common narratives and assuming there would be an overaching theme of love between the Misfits and AWSB AUs (even if they ultimately played out differently), I read into things a little off. That said, I'm not disappointed in this take and I'm actually curious about how it's going to play out. Be it something as simple as Misfit! Silver being an Aromantic Pansexual, or something as deliciously tragic as him being too emotionally broken down to acknowledge his own feelings, or hell, being capable of geniune love at all. There's plenty of options for you to chose from, and either way, it's content for me to eat.

Leaving the concept of Silver's ex a blank slate is good for me as well, as I can play around with different ideas and scenarios when I'm bored and adapt it to whatever I'm craving.

And yeah, I see your point of Silver caring for his ex and possibly Gold in a non-romantic/non-familial platonic way. Honestly, platonic love is more sacred, Western Culture just hypes romance up too much (and I'm a victim of that brainwashIng). I have to laugh, because the more we chat about the AUs the more I kin your Golds. This particular conversation really makes me feel connected to Gold as I remained infatuated with my first love for years despite him being in and out of my life and usually not a good influence. I've crushed on a guy-friend I went to highschool with who was aroace. I loved one of my childhood friends before I understood I was bi, and watched her love other people and watched get her heart broken repeatedly, but grew to love her only platonically later. I had pretty strong feelings for a girl who cared about me so little she laughed when she heard about my botched suicide attempt. And I had a massive crush on a guy-friend from college who had a limerent crush on someone else and we became even better friends after he rejected me.

That last one is particularly funny for me because my mom, shortly before she passed, had really shipped us and said, "I can tell he loves you, maybe not in a romantic sense, but he loves you regardless. I wish he was in love with though, because he sounds like a young man I'd trust with my daughter". I don't care if anyone else sees this, it's the internet, it's anonymous. Besides, it's my canon event, it happened, I survived and got better.

Oh, and thank you for linking the flashback image. I remember seeing it before, but I think I had paid more attention to Gold's half, while overlooking one of the potential implication's of Silver's. I'm not sure how I missed that. Catholic school boy probably means more than religious trauma. Lastly, would you be interested in hearing some songs that make me think of Silver? I've been wanting to make a playlist. It'll probably be multiversal though so I don't have to make specific playlists for different characterizations.

Thank you, it’s been fantastic! Trying to get back into the grind now.

I enjoy reading all feedback and especially when it’s so thought through and thorough. It can be hard to pack all the details and nuances into a couple of panels, so I’m always down to talk about the AUs to clarify and/or expand upon or just to chat in general. As long as it’s not a spoiler ;)

The overreaching theme of love may yet be possible, but if we’re talking about “Nothing” comics, it’s too early into the story to be anything but one-sided. After realizing his crush (and losing some of his 'clients' and out of fear for his life) Gold starts hanging more around that pub where Silver’s band plays and practices. They do drugs, fuck around after gigs and in between, but in the end Gold’s no more than a groupie competing with the other groupies for some dick to suck.

I recall mentioning it somewhere, possibly twtr, Silver’s response comes off as harsh, but this has not been the first time Gold’s confessed. Not even the second. An obsessed fan threatening to off themselves unless they get a return confession. He’d seen this before, he detests blackmail, and still Silver breaks that door down and drags Gold’s pissy ass to the A&E for he wants no one else OD’ing on him, willfully or otherwise.

If I ever write a fic this would be covered, but as things are I don’t mind leaving it vague even if it paints Silver more of an asshole than he really is. It also makes Gold lessmore pathetic.

Thank you for sharing this with me. I’m sorry you had to go through this, but I’m really glad you’re doing better now.

I tend to see bits of myself in both of the characters, as most creatives do. Losing a friend to an intentional overdose, trashy underground parties and gigs and overall nonconformity being my canon events. Not autobiographical of course, I wouldn't (probably even be able to) let my life get as fucked up as theirs, but that’s the fun of cooking up these AUs, exploring the extremes and subjecting my faves to the what-ifs.

Catholic school boy probably means more than religious trauma

You may assume the worst here.

Oh, please do! I’d be stoked to hear which songs you associate with the lads. I myself don’t have a playlist assembled for Misfits AU, but there was one for AWSB.

[lunatasticdinoface]

i watched episode 1 cuz of this post and, what the hell

i didn't realize the main character was autistic! i had a new thing i could relate to pretty much every 5-10 minutes

i dig into some episode 1 maybe-spoilers below so i can also dig into what i related to.

(this is also a personal feelings post, not a discourse post, so you (any reader) don't have to read/reblog it if you don't want to. it's not a statement on how you should act or think. it's also kinda long and rambly! but also if you try to be like "hey actually you were wrong about this or that thing, and you're problematic for it" when i'm talking about personal feelings, i really don't care and i'll be sleeping or playing video games instead of listening to you.)

. again ---SPOILER WARNING---

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she turns out to be a genius savant basically immediately, which i can't relate at all to because i am just an internet goblin. (i had some things i excelled at early on but most of it turned out useless. but hey i can remember how words are spelled forever, from a single exposure. i learned fluent english via subtitles. it was impressive for a 5 year old but useless in adult world.)

i think most people would fail to relate to the savant thing too since it's super rare and not remotely representative of autism worldwide, but that's not really the thing i paid attention to anyway.

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i paid attention to the little details that i never get to see in media.

i saw the way she fidgets openly in public, which i was always called out for, and learned to mask.

i saw the way she spoke awkwardly in public, which i was always called out for, and learned to mask.

i saw the way she moved awkwardly in public, which i was always called out for, and learned to mask.

i saw the way she would excitedly talk about her deep personal interest (whales!) and people would think she was weird for that. (hey look, another piece of love forced out of me.)

i like seeing her do these things because i wish i felt comfortable to do them. the idea of "leaking" a single unique trait through my mask just gives me intense anxiety and embarrassment.

(hell, i had a therapist see that i was fidgeting in the tiniest way i could muster, and point it out, during anxiety therapy!! he said it was fine, but it doesn't matter. being seen at all is enough. my mask broke and you got through. all i want to do is build bigger walls. but i've learned that it's a bad idea)

i know these little actions are harmless, but i was repeatedly told they were wrong. she knows these little actions are harmless, (even pleasant!) but people tell her to stop, and she does, because someone said you can't talk about whales at work. so you can't talk about the things you love at work, unless you absolutely have to.

if you ever wonder why you don't see more autistic people in public, despite roughly 1 in 50 people being autistic, just keep that in mind. i'm not the only one who's gone through this. masking is a survival technique.

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anyway, it's really nice seeing her autistic traits openly represented in media, not as a mark of some freak, but as traits that you must accept in order to accept her as a person, and to enjoy the show. if you can't stand her being herself, you can't watch the show. sometimes i wish reality had a shithead filter like that.

there's a scene where she takes a crowded train to work and i instantly knew how she felt. i'm not saying i have ptsd or anything but god damn i felt instantly uncomfortable like i was there and i was her and i could feel her anxiety building

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people tell her new social rules like "don't do this" and she accepts it like it's being programmed into her brain. i do too! it's not perfect, obviously. she forgets from time to time. but the rules linger and get in her way repeatedly.

she's told not to do something (go through a door) and do something else instead (go through the revolving door instead).

she accepts this as another rule that must be followed, despite the fact that she struggles more with the revolving door.

then when it finally is okay to use the easy door, nobody tells her. a grumpy-ass co-worker comes up to her and helps her through the revolving door and calls her an idiot.

she did everything right according to the rules people gave her, but she's still an idiot according to those same people. i can't tell you how many times i've had that exact thing happen, and it sucks.

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it's like having two (or more) bosses that want you to do the same task in different ways, and either one will yell at you if you don't do it their way. but it's fucking everyone in the entire world.

(i also wanna take this moment to say you all suck (as a society) for making me go through it each year, because i deserve to blindly pop off just once in my life! if you somehow felt personally hurt by a blind attack on 8+ billion people, that's really funny)

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anyway i watched some of these scenes, and repeatedly ended up having to pause to process what i just saw.

i would use those pauses to have little pretend-conversations with people from my life, who often wondered "why are you like this"

i wanted to find the words to express why i sometimes behave the way i do, or why i respond in certain ways during conversations.

i wanted to imagine people actually understanding, for a moment, that it's not because i'm just a disabled weirdo, but because i'm doing about 5 times more work than they do to even approach the same functionality they have

it's really hard to explain, when you have to spend mental energy on

1, an active conversation (tracking its ever-changing topic and timing and body language and eye contact and augh. people wonder why i prefer text communication so much. how the hell do y'all function)

2, self-analysis

and 3, finding the words to turn that self-analysis into an explanation that they can understand despite them being neurotypical

but i have to do that all the time and it's part of why face-to-face conversations are so hard for me

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the only part of the show that i 100% failed to relate to is that people are so polite and accepting despite it. i don't mean accepting in the sense of "oh you're disabled? that's cool we'll work around that" but in the sense of not openly saying "why aren't you making eye contact!? look at me when i'm talking to you"

she gets to avoid eye contact without people writing reports about it as wrong behavior. she gets to gently straighten something on a superior's desk without getting yelled at.

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the final part of what i loved about the show, beyond relating really hard to the main character, is that it's a really nice fantasy of living as an openly autistic person; living in a world where people won't openly hassle you about it! well, not as often, anyway. she still got called an idiot and treated with disrespect. but she got to be herself. people had to accept her, because the script wasn't meant to be a tragedy.

it was nice to pretend that this is reality for a moment, which is really saying something, because autistic acceptance is still trash in their world.

so i liked it. that's about it. thanks for reading if you got this far. sorry i didn't capitalize words and made it harder to read, but i didn't expect a word count of whatever this is. tumblr ate my spacing so i had to add dots instead. deal with it. i deal with you

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what the hell the english spellcheck doesn't know what english means

EXTRAORDINARY ATTORNEY WOO (2022) dir. Yoo In Shik

[aroacephotographer]

Pseudo-story time about college.

A word of warning: This story has mention of financial strong-holding and emotional manipulation.

This post sponsored by: Pangs of Guilt (a punk band name I just made up)

I was forced to graduate college.

My mom was the second person in my family to attend college. Then the first to graduate with a full degree. Then the first to obtain a Master's. By the time I entered high school, she was celebrating her PhD in Public Health Nursing.

Fantastic, right? Until you hear about the enormous pressure she put on me to basically do the same thing.

She allowed me to pursue a more artistic route in college. It was something I was apparently passionate about. But the thing was, I didn't really start exploring my interests fully until the end of high school. I just wasn't paying enough attention until then. And when I paid attention, I noticed that I struggled in school.

So I told my super-smart mom. And she told me I was fine, normal, and there was nothing wrong with me.

I told her back, "But I struggle all the time. I think I have ADHD or something." That was the only word I could think of. But she took it as me saying there was something WRONG with me.

For someone so smart, she ignored a lot of facts about me. Like how I was coming out of the closet (she raised me to be alloromantic and straight because it was the only thing she knew); or how tests gave me enormous amounts of anxiety even if the concepts were "simple."

Autism was a four letter word. I could never bring this or certain other topics up, because she knew better than me. So it's no wonder I beat myself up for feeling "stupid" so much. After all, I only have a Bachelor of Arts degree.

So during my last couple of years in college, I started breaking down. I just couldn't handle the pressure anymore. Four classes was too much. I compared myself to people who were basically taking 7 like in high school. My focus was all over the place and the pressure to graduate, much less in 4 years, had become too much. So I told her.

Her response was to point out that my older cousin had dropped out of college 10 years earlier, so I couldn't do the same. She said this with anger in her voice. After all, she'd been paying the bills and supporting me... financially. But hadn't supported me emotionally. So she told me I had to finish college. Period. There was no choice but to do it.

In so many words, my own mother told me to suck it up and get the fuck over it.

There's not an exact ending to this. Just that I went along and tried my best to do exactly as she told me. Every subsequent realization I made about myself was another form of rejection because it didn't fit her view of me. And she was someone who cared what other people thought about her and the kid she raised.

The "ending," if I can try and claim one, is that I've been picking up pieces ever since. I've realized I'm autistic, ADHD, I'm part of the queer community. And probably the biggest thing, I'm slowly figuring out the things I hyperfixate on vs the things I want to get paid to do (words I didn't have in 2008 when I graduated high school). I'm finally working on things like my extreme anxiety, being patient with myself as I learn new things like coding, and parenting myself.

I always worry if I meet someone with a kid of their own, and they needlessly push ideals onto a child. I wonder what kind of anxiety they'll have to work through. I wish I could point this out succinctly to some parents that you're raising another human being, and to not push everything onto them. They may have neurodivergence that makes it difficult to see your perspective. That if you care too much about what everyone else thinks of your family, then you're doing it wrong.

If you stuck with me, thanks for reading. This is something that I've been working on for a long time. I feel behind in many ways. But I'm working on it and there's plenty of time to figure shit out. And I hope this helps someone out, in whatever way it can.