#just watching everything come together and seeing everyone work so hard
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Chalkboard Hearts - Pt IV
Pairing - KindergartenTeacher!Steve Harrington x SingleMom!Reader
WC - 5.6k
Summary - A snow day prompts Steve and Abbey to spend a little one on one time together.
AN - sorry this one took a little longer! being creative is hard when the U.S keeps sucking me of all my joy. thanks for the patience, love y’all! ~ emma
Three weeks ago, your daughter’s kindergarten teacher gave you his phone number in a chilly, deserted diner parking lot, and every weekday since that night, Abbey has had to all but drag you from his classroom when you go to pick her up in the afternoons. One topic leads to another and another, and before you realize it, you and Steve have been chatting in his mostly empty classroom for over an hour. But this morning, you’re dialing those digits he gave you on your landlines keypad for the first time with shaky fingers. You’d spent the past hour exhausting all your other options. Your mother? Working. Your sister? Out of town. Your usual babysitter? sick.
Steve was the only person you knew for a fact wouldn’t be working today.
It wasn’t for a lack of wanting to that you hadn’t called yet. Every waking hour since that night, you had been wrestling with yourself about what an appropriate reason would be. Was he flirting with you? Did he genuinely just want you to have access to him in case of an emergency? Both? Your inner dialogue was deafening– like a squawking bird in the back of your brain.
The intrusive volume of your thoughts seemed to quiet now as your leg bounced impatiently– anxiety over the prospect of having to call into work outweighing your trepidation– waiting for him to pick up the call on the other line.
He finally answered halfway through the fourth ring, “Hello?” Despite the early hour, Steve sounded wide awake. Probably rousing at the same time you did, not expecting to be temporarily blinded by three feet of bright, white snow piled on top of his car. On the kitchen radio, you can hear the newscaster announcing a closure of the local schools.
“Steve, it’s Y/N,” your voice cuts through the static.
He pauses briefly, yours probably being the last voice he expected to hear when he picked up his phone, “Hey, morning–” he clears his throat, “everything alright?”
“Yes– well– I don’t know.” You rub the tips of your fingers restlessly over your closed eyelids, “I don’t have anyone to watch Abbey with the school being closed, I've tried everyone and I really hate to ask but–”
“Of course, I can be there in thirty. Can you give me your address?”
“Are you sure, Steve? I can just call out if–”
“Don’t be ridiculous, just give me your address,” his incredulity and lack of hesitation sends the wings fluttering about in your stomach again, while cementing the reassurance of his words. You gain the courage to repeat your home address for him to write down.
You can hear the sound of pen hastily scratching paper, then after a few beats of silence he speaks again, “It’ll take me a little bit to clear off my car, but I’ll be there as soon as I can,”
“Thank you so much, you have no idea.”
“Don’t mention it,” you can hear the grin in his voice, can picture the flash of perfect white squares, “see you soon,�� you breathe a heavy sigh of relief at the click of the receiver being placed back in its cradle. Abbey is bundled up on the couch watching Rugrats, a bowl of cereal in her lap. Normally, you wouldn’t let her eat in the living room, but you needed respite from her usual game of 20 Questions to make some phone calls.
“Hey, Ab,” you say as you approach her, thoroughly engrossed in her cartoons, “Is it okay if Mr. H comes over and watches you today while mommy goes to work?”
The question is more than enough to pull her focus from the television screen. Her face lights up like the Fourth of July as she nearly spills her cereal with the force of her straightening on the sofa, “Really?” She asks hopefully.
“Yes, grandma is working and Julia is sick. Is that okay?” As excited as you know she is, you want her verbal confirmation. Mostly because you’d never put your child in a situation she’s uncomfortable in; but a smaller, more selfish part of you wants to be absolved of the guilt you feel for having to leave her all day.
Your wish is granted almost instantly as she squeals and hops off the couch where she’d been lounging, placing her bowl on the coffee table. Halfway to her room, she calls, “Mommy! Where are my coloring books?”
“They’re on top of your bookshelf,” you call, “don’t make a huge mess, please!”
“I won’t!” She replies, muffled through the drywall separating you.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
You hadn’t had time to tidy the house or make yourself look even remotely presentable before Steve arrived. If it weren’t for the relief that floods your body upon seeing his car pull in the driveway, you might even be a little embarrassed. Booted footsteps shuffle up the porch as you’re shoveling things into your bag at the last minute, followed by three light knocks on the door.
“Coming!” You shout from where you stand in the dining room.
Before you even have the chance to reach the foyer, Abbey is darting from her bedroom in plastic play shoes and throwing the door open with immeasurable enthusiasm.
“Hey–” Steve starts, expecting it to be you before he realizes who’s greeting him, “Oh, hi Ab,” he waves to the little face staring up at him, “Where’s your mom?”
“Mommy!” Abbey calls, “Mr. H is here!”
Steve spots you holding two pieces of notebook paper clad with chicken scratch scribblings. You look frazzled– hair thrown up hastily and scrubs wrinkly. He scours the place where he would normally find an emotion akin to pity for your distressed state, but in its absence, he only feels endearment laced with a little concern.
He doesn’t get a word in before you’re shoving the papers in his hands and spouting off information that he’s praying is already on the sheets you’ve given him.
“I should be home by five, if anything happens, this–” you point to a barely legible number, “--is my work phone. This is her doctor’s phone number and she’s allergic to peanuts. There aren’t any peanuts in the house but–” you sigh, exasperated with yourself, “just in case.”
The rest of the pages are filled with ramblings about which channels Abbey likes to watch and how to work the television. How, in case she needs a bath, you have to pull and then twist the knob for the hot water to run. That she is not, under any circumstances, allowed to put nail polish on by herself and where you keep her Epi Pens.
Steve’s surprised at how many of these sentiments he already has catalogued. He’s required to know Abbey’s emergency contacts and that she has a nut allergy for his job, but he knows that channel thirty-seven has the best cartoons because Abbey once told him that Power Puff Girls was her favorite– and you’d already relayed to him the hilariously tragic tale of what happened the last time Abbey attempted to paint her own nails.
Despite this revelation, he doesn’t dare interrupt you. He indulges your ranting, a grin creeping involuntarily along his face.
“-- sorry, I’m rambling– I’ve just never left her with someone who wasn’t my mom or her sitter before,” you’re a little breathless after two straight minutes of talking.
“Hey, hey– you’re okay,” he wastes no time reassuring you, “you know I’d never let anything happen to her.” You nod your understanding, “Besides,” now he’s speaking to Abbey, “we’re gonna have a super fun time right?”
She shouts, “Yes!”
He looks at you with his brows raised, amused, “See?”
“Okay, alright,” you kneel down, chuckling, “do I get a hug? Or am I chopped liver?”
Giggling, Abbey wraps you in a suffocating embrace, like always. Her excitement for Steve has never quelled her affection for you, and you can tell that she’s still hesitant to see you go. You smack a kiss on her cheek, grabbing your bag from the floor as you rise again.
“Swear you’ll call me if anything happens?” You ask him one more time, already knowing the answer.
“Cross my heart.” He smiles fondly, stoking the flames burning bright around the cage that your heart inhabits.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Your home is cozy, much cozier than anything Steve had growing up. He’s warmed at the idea that Abbey has the privilege of growing up in a house that feels so lived in– stains on the carpet, soft edges and yellow lighting. There’s clutter on the kitchen counter by the microwave and colorful alphabet magnets securing several bright pieces of artwork to the fridge.
“Are these the pictures you drew in art class last week?” He asks Abbey, who has been trailing behind him all through the house, pointing things out to him as they go.
“Uh-huh, Mrs. Morse helped me with that one,” she points to what Steve thinks is probably supposed to be a zebra.
“Well, you’re very talented, I love them,”
“Can we go play outside?” She asks, drawing out the last syllable and completely ignoring Steve’s compliment.
“Sure we can,” he chuckles, “where do you keep your snowsuit?”.
Abbey takes Steve by the wrist and leads him to the coat closet by the front door. Similar to the rest of your house, it’s stuffed to the brim– full of puffy nylon and heavy winter boots. He catches a glimpse of a familiar brown and green jacket– his jacket. You’d promised to wash it and return it to him, but it must’ve slipped your mind. He grins to himself at the reminiscence as he fetches Abbey’s snow gear and shuts the door.
Steve hadn’t dressed appropriately for a morning rolling around in the cold. He had slipped on a pair of your mittens, probably meant more for fashion than practicality, because his fingers were already completely numb. But he can’t seem to deny her when Abbey pleads with him to make snow angels. They’d just spent the past half an hour building two snowmen– one short like Abbey and one tall like Steve, she insisted, as she wrapped her scarf around the snowman that resembled her.
“Please, Mr. H?” She begs when she notices his hesitancy.
“Alright, alright,” he chuckles, “but then we’re gonna go inside and have lunch. Deal?”
That appears to be a good enough covenant for her, “Okay!” Abbey exclaims, falling fairly harshly to the cushioned ground. Steve braces himself for tears, but Abbey only keeps laughing in that contagious way as she begins spreading her arms and legs out beside her in a repetitive motion.
“Are you gonna make one?” She questions from her place on the ground.
He grunts as he reluctantly lowers himself down next to her, anticipating the icy wetness waiting underneath him. The snow seeps uncomfortably through his jeans, but the sound of Abbey’s unbridled joy nearly makes up for his soiled clothing.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
What’d you want to eat, Ab?” Steve calls from the pantry while Abbey changes out of her wet clothes in her bedroom.
“Not hungry!” She calls back.
He sighs, expecting her stubbornness– she was nearly as mulish as you.
“Remember the deal we made earlier?” He asks, “That if I made a snow angel with you, that you’d have to eat something for lunch, right?”
She emerges from her room, pout prominent on her strikingly adorable features, “But I wanna keep playing,” she whines, giving her foot a little stomp on the linoleum for emphasis.
“We can keep playing after, I promise,” he knows he’s not winning this battle without a compromise, “does your mom let you eat in the living room?” He asks with a lilt to his voice that makes him sound conspiratorial.
“Sometimes…”
“How about…” he pauses as if thinking, “I make us some food and we watch a movie while we eat?”
He can tell he’s got her after that– hook, line and sinker. She still pretends to mull over his proposition for a moment before agreeing, “Hmm…I think that sounds good,” she settles, trying and failing to mask her elation.
That’s how Steve ended up, plates of grilled cheese sandwiches in hand, dodging barbies and miscellaneous stuffed animals on his way to the living room a few minutes later.
“Have you found a movie yet?” He asks Abbey as he sets the plates down atop the coffee table.
“Yes but–” she jumps on her tiptoes, “I can’t reach it,”
Steve walks over to the towering shelf of VHS tapes in front of her, “Which one are you trying to reach?”
Abbey points at the tape in question, “Home Alone,”
“Alrighty,” Steve says as he grabs it with ease, “Your foods on the table, go sit while I put it in,”
Abbey, for once, does as he asks– bounding over to the coffee table with the excitement typical of a five-year-old who has an adult's permission to break a house rule.
While Steve eyes your VCR, he catches a glimpse of a photo out of the corner of his eye, causing him to pause. It’s you, no older than twenty, holding a swaddled baby in a sterile hospital room. He doesn’t recognize the picture as one he’s seen before.
Of course you’ve never seen it before, he thinks, you barely know her. Get a grip.
You’re filled with such youthful brilliance in the shot, despite the underlying weariness of having just given birth; your hair tied messily into a bun at the nape of your neck, sweat beading on your brow bone. It’s just you and Abbey, Steve thinks her father must’ve been the photographer.
He can’t help but think of himself at that age and all the stupid shit he was doing. How, if you had handed him a baby then, he wouldn’t have known the first thing about what to do with it– but here you had raised such a bright, healthy daughter and largely alone. He was struck by such a sudden and overwhelming admiration for you that he nearly forgot what he was supposed to be doing.
“Mr. H?” Abbey asked, mouth full, “When are we gonna start the movie?”
Her question sends him hurling back to reality. A reality where he’s your daughter’s kindergarten teacher, and the two of you are friendly with each other at best.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
At some point during the movie, once their lunch was reduced to crumbs on empty plates, Abbey had hauled out her box of coloring books and crayons that she had been looking for this morning.
Steve, the less creative of the two, was coloring in a cartoon illustration of a fairy while Abbey was making her own drawing on a piece of white construction paper. The lack of constant chatter is a welcome reprieve, but he knows that Abbey only becomes quiet when she’s particularly concentrated, so he chances a peek to his right at what she’s working on.
She got a death grip on a brown crayon– shaved almost down to the tip– with her tongue sticking ever so slightly between her lips as she focuses intently on her art.
The picture is of three stick figures– two tall and one significantly smaller in between them. It’s set at what looks to be a playground, a bright yellow sun in the sky and blue scribblings around white clouds. Swings, slides and even a little blue dog adorn the rest of the background.
Pleasantly surprised at her artistry, Steve says, “That looks amazing, Ab!”
She’s snapped out of her stupor, her face split with a wide toothless grin. She doesn’t thank him, only lets out a few bashful giggles at his praise and says, “I like yours too,”
“Is that you?” He points at the littlest figure.
“Mhm, see? I made her hair curly like mine!”
“It looks just like you,” he agrees, then draws her attention to the other figures, “Is this your mom and your dad next to you?”
“This is mommy,” she points, “I put her in the blue clothes she wears at work,” he knows she’s referring to your scrubs, but the phrasing makes him chuckle.
“And this is you!” She circles the figure she’s drawn with the tip of her finger. She’s included his voluminous chestnut hair and his silver wire-framed glasses, even one of the stupid striped polos he wears at school. Looking at it now, it’s obvious who it was supposed to be– but it’s so unexpected that he feels his face heat up at the realization.
“Oh, wow, Ab– That’s–” he grapples to find the words to express the juxtaposition he’s found himself in. He’s honored, truly, to be included in this portrait Abbey’s made of herself and her mother– her family– but there’s a gnawing guilt he can’t seem to shake. The fear that, in some way, he’s replacing her father.
“I love it, Ab, thank you,” he smiles fondly at her work, the proud grin she wears slowly melting the flash freeze of trepidation that encased his conscience.
“Can we hang it on the fridge for mommy to see when she gets home?” She asks after a moment.
“That sounds like a great idea.”
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Around four o’clock, Abbey begins asking what they’re having for dinner. Steve wonders briefly if you always have to deal with her being so ravenous.
“How about we start cooking now? That way it’ll be ready for your mom when she gets home,”
“Okay,” Abbey concurs. Steve wouldn’t consider himself a Michelin star chef by any means, but he can make a mean chicken parmesan.
A trip to the grocery store was needed to grab some ingredients. After scribbling down the required items on a crumpled receipt, and struggling for ten minutes to get Abbey’s carseat in the back of his BMW, they’re on their way.
He meets her eyes in the rearview mirror, “Do you want me to put on some music?”
“Christmas music?” She asks hopefully.
Steve isn’t the biggest fan of Christmas music– Christmas in general, really– but he obliges her request and turns the dial to their local channel, soft bells and a choir of voices begin to flood through the interior of the car. She really is so harmlessly manipulative with her saucer eyes and round button nose, he can’t seem to refuse her anything.
Steve drives more cautiously than he thinks he ever has, even more so than when he was sixteen and learning how to drive with his family’s Pontiac as his father stared harshly at him from the passenger seat. He comes to a full halt at every stop sign, and he never takes his eyes off the road.
After fighting some early rush hour traffic, they make it. Without a second thought, Abbey grasps Steve’s hand while walking through the parking lot. He tries not to look startled at the sudden contact, recalling how she always seems to have a firm grip on your hand in public spaces too. Steve’s just glad she feels comfortable with him.
“Can I help?” Abbey asks as Steve grabs a cart from the corral.
“Course’,” he smiles, “do you wanna grab the ingredients and put them in the cart for me?”
She bounces excitedly, “Sure!”
Wandering through the aisles, Abbey never strayed from Steve’s side. Every time he read off an item, she would dutifully fetch it and throw it into the cart with a little more force than necessary, but Steve didn’t mind.
“Do you live by yourself?” She asks out of the blue as they peruse the store.
“I do,”
“Then how come you know how to cook?”
He laughs at her inquisitive nature, “Well I have to eat don’t I?”
“Yeah…” she ponders, “I guess so,”
“Alright, the last thing we need is breadcrumbs,” he informs her, scanning the shelves.
Like earlier, Abbey attempts to stand on her tiptoes to try and reach the can in question, “I’m getting it,” she mumbles in determination, very much not getting it.
“Here,” Steve says as he lifts her up by her waist like it was second nature to him.
“Got it!” She exclaims, tossing it in with the rest of the groceries. “Can I ride in the cart now?” She yawns with a polite hand over her mouth. He supposes grocery shopping takes a lot out of you when all the shelves are at least five feet taller than your head.
“Sure,” Steve chuckles as he slots her little legs through the designated holes.
Despite the ride home only being about ten minutes long, Abbey manages to doze off– lulled to sleep by the subtle hum of the car's engine. Steve veered as gently as possible into the driveway, careful not to disturb her even though he was about to wake her up anyway.
“Abbey,” he shakes her softly, “we’re home,”
Abbey rouses, but only slightly. She yawns again and stretches with her arms over her head before extending them out, silently motioning with her eyes still closed for Steve to carry her inside.
“Okay, c’mon lazy bones,” he grunts at the angle but lifts her from her car seat nonetheless. After unlocking the door one-handed, he sets her carefully on the couch and covers her with a plush throw blanket before heading back outside for the rest of the groceries.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
The first thing you notice when you approach your front door is the savory smell of something cooking. Inside, the TV is off and your daughter is sleeping soundly on the couch. Quiet clattering noises flood from the kitchen.
The sleeves of Steve’s burgundy sweater are rolled up to his elbows and the kitchen smells of roasting chicken and mahogany as he stirs a simmering pot of homemade pasta sauce. He’s humming some tune softly under his breath– Bob Segar, you think.
“Hey,” you greet with a grin as you set your bag down on the dining table. Steve turns around to meet you as you ask, “What’re you doing?”
“Cooking?” He replies.
“No, really?” You deadpan back, eliciting an amused chuckle from the man standing at your stove.
“Abbey was asking about dinner,” he pauses, “we were gonna do this whole thing– we were gonna make it for you together, have it ready by the time you got home, but,” he gestures with his arm to the living room where Abbey is napping. Steve Harrington is nothing if not expressive– talking with his hands, eyebrows always either furrowed in concentration or raised in amusement. It’s one of the most charming things about him, you think.
“Well, thank you,” you say, “you didn’t have to do that,” you feel a blush heat your cheeks at how domestic this feels– like you come home to Steve cooking dinner for you and your daughter every night. You can picture it as easily as if it were your actual reality and it leaves you feeling briefly vertiginous. You’re not sure Jeremy ever cooked even one meal for you in the entirety of your relationship.
“The chickens almost done and then I'll get out of your hair,” he assumes a teasing lilt to his voice to disguise the fact that he feels like he’s overstepping– overstaying his welcome or crossing some invisible line.
“Are you kidding?” You scoff, “You’ve gotta at least stick around long enough to see how it came out,”
“You don’t mind?” He asks hesitantly.
“Steve, of course I don’t mind,” honestly, you think you’d start a fire and burn your house to the ground if it meant getting him to stay just a little longer to help you put it out, “plus, I’m sure Abbey’ll be stoked.”
“Alright, well,” he smiles warmly, “it’s ready if you wanna go wake the gremlin up,”
At the table, Abbey insists on sitting next to Steve in the chair across from you.
“This is delicious, Steve,” you compliment.
“Best you ever had?” He teases, but his phrasing makes you choke a little on your pasta.
Abbey makes a twisted face, “The sauce tastes funny.” Saved by the bell.
“Abbey!” you scold playfully, poorly concealing a laugh behind the back of your hand, “Sorry– I think she’s just used to eating Prego,”
“That’s okay– I think she’s right, actually,” he assures you, twisting his expression into something sour and causing Abbey to giggle. His eyes are the color of rich soil as he sends you an oh, so familiar look across the table, communicating another silent thought to you. One that says, I don’t mind how blunt she is, I think it’s endearing.
When dinner is finished, Steve insists on doing the dishes for you too. “You cooked, Steve, let me–” you try to barter.
“--You do enough as it is,” he counters simultaneously.
“You watched my child all day!” You laugh at his stubbornness.
“I do that everyday anyway!” He argues, beginning to fill up the porcelain farmhouse sink with hot, sudsy water.
“At least let me help,” you give him that wide eyed look you always seem to be giving him lately. God, you’re no better than Abbey. “You wash, I’ll dry?”
“Fine,” he tries to frown but his smirk betrays him in his act of faux annoyance.
After a few minutes of stuffy silence, you ask, “She wasn’t too much of a pain in the ass today, was she?”
“Not any more than usual,” he jokes and a plate slips through his fingers, causing a small splash of water to coat your face in dishwater. You gasp at the sensation.
“Oh– Sorry!--” he tries to apologize, but you take your dishwater soaked fingers and flick them in the direction of his own face– small soapy bubbles clinging to his lashes and eyebrows.
“I cannot believe you right now,” he says, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.
“There, now we’re even,” you smirk.
“I’ll let it slide. This time.”
“Mommy!” Abbey rushes into the kitchen, “Can Mr. H stay to watch a cartoon before bed?”
“I don’t know, baby, it’s getting late,” you can just barely see the flash of heartbreak in her gaze before Steve interjects, “It’s okay, I don’t mind staying for a little longer,”
You send him a skeptical glance over your shoulder, but he just nods and asks Abbey what she’d like to watch.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
The end credits for an episode of The Rugrats flashes across the screen, illuminating Abbey’s sleeping face in muted shades of blue and orange. She snores, slumped against Steve’s chest with her arms wrapped around his torso. You sit propped against the other arm of the couch watching them intently– trying to memorize the sight before you. You’ve never seen Abbey cradled like this before by anyone else except you. It wasn’t something you felt you craved until recently.
Steve turns, catching you staring but not calling attention to it. He can count on several hands the amount of times he’s done the same to you– Steve Harrington is many things, but he is not a hypocrite.
“Did you know the guy from Devo wrote the theme song for this?” He gestures towards the television.
“Really?”
“Mhm,” he replies, “I can’t remember who told me that,”
After a few beats of hushed silence, you say, “Should probably put that one to bed– unless you wanna be here all night,” you try to joke but your voice shakes.
He would if you were sincerely asking. He’d stay right here on this uncomfortably worn sofa, with your daughter whom he has such an affinity for, sleeping against his chest for the next millenia. He’d fossilize here if he could– your presence beside him calm and grounding like an anchor in a storm.
He voices none of this. Instead he says, “Do you want to take her?”
“It’s okay,” you wave him off, “I’ll just come with you.” The three of you slowly make your way to Abbey’s bedroom, Steve carrying her bridal style against his torso and the door creaks on its hinges when Steve pushes it open with his hip. She stirs only a little when he sets her down, but is soothed quickly with a firm palm stroking her back a few times.
The door clicks behind you as Steve leads you both back to the living room.
“I should probably–”
“Do you want–”
You begin to speak at the same time, awkward chuckles leaving both of your nervous lips.
“You first,” he offers, scratching the back of his neck.
“I was– just gonna ask if you wanted some wine, but I know it’s late–”
“Wine sounds great.” His lips form a line across his face as he grins.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Half a bottle of wine split between the two of you, and your hands were tingling from the effort it was taking not to reach out and card your fingers through the hair of the man sitting across from you.
“How come you never called?” He asks suddenly, but not unkindly.
“Hm?”
“You never called– well, not til’ this morning at least,”
“Didn’t know what counted as an emergency, I guess,” you shrug, the alcohol shaking your nerves loose.
He must’ve been feeling in a similar way to you– speaking freely in a way he wouldn’t have before, “Just wanted to talk to you,” he smiles fondly.
“Oh,” you whisper, and when you don’t say anything else, Steve changes the subject.
“I like that photo of you on top of the entertainment center,” he says contemplatively, “you looked really…peaceful,”
“Well, raising a miniature version of yourself tends to age you a bit, I suppose,”
“Can I ask you something?” He asks, testing the waters.
“Always”
“Where was Jeremy in the picture?”
“We always talk about me,” you roll your eyes spiritedly and release a contented sigh, “Tell me why you really came to Maine,”
“Don’t deflect,” he teases.
“C’monnnn,” you draw out the last syllable, “answer,”
“I asked you first,” Steve chuckles.
“Jeremy wasn’t at Abbey’s birth,” you admit, it's immediately like an aching weight removed from the length of your spine– one that's been there consistently for years. “He didn’t even want me to have her,” you scoff humorlessly.
You had told almost no one this before. For the sake of keeping appearances, even after he passed, only your mother and sister knew that Jeremy had pushed for you to terminate your pregnancy when he’d found out; and that only once your daughter was actually born did he want to be involved in her life. The burden felt shockingly easy to lay at Steve’s feet, like someone might confess to a priest. This tender man sitting across from you– whether it was the wine or simply his presence, you aren’t sure– but it felt so effortless to be vulnerable right now. Your soft, white underbelly on display for him to do as he pleases, trusting him to have a gentle touch.
“That fucking sucks,” he knows you well enough by now to understand you’ve never cared for empty platitudes, so he doesn’t bother schooling his bitter, empathetic expression, “M’ sorry,”
Not wanting to dwell on it any longer, you say, “Your turn,”
“My old man was an abusive, drunk asshole,” he says frankly, “I don’t know if I ever saw him sober,” he huffs a laugh but there’s no humor behind it. “I needed to get out– to see what else there was, you know?” He asks, and you nod, “He died in my sophomore year of college. Didn’t even go to the wake.”
“Well, I’m really glad you ended up in this shithole,” he laughs at that, “I think you’re pretty neat, Harrington,”
“Thanks,” he deadpans, “Juries still out on you,” he pokes your side and you giggle like you’re a damn teenager again.
You swat him lightly on his bicep in retaliation, and before you know it, you’ve both succumbed to a fit of contagious laughter. When it begins to die down, you’re closer to him than you’d been before. It steals the breath from your lungs and your heart thrashes inside your ribcage like a wild animal.
You’re gazing at each other now, heads light from the alcohol and dizzy with proximity. His heavy lidded gaze lands on your lips for a second too long, and then he’s pulling your face flush to his own by the sharp edge of your jaw.
It’s a soft kiss, but it’s maddening nonetheless. His lips are plush and smooth– malleable against yours. You huff a surprised breath of air, but don’t pull away. One of his calloused hands is resting firmly on your waist while the other one snakes up tenderly to hold the back of your head. You feel that familiar itch to bury your fingers in his brown tresses, so finally, you do. What realistically only lasts a moment, feels like hours before he’s pulling away, nearly frightened.
When he looks at you, his doe eyes are wide with fear, glassy with the impending fallout of what he’d just done. He stammers, “I’m sorry–that was–” he runs his hands down the length of his guilt twisted face.
“No– Steve, It’s okay, I–”
“I should go–” he says quickly as he slips his shoes and coat on, not even bothering to tie the laces, he grabs his keys, “I’m sorry I’ll– I’ll see you on Monday,”
He’s closing the door behind him before your mind gets the chance to catch up with your mouth. You wished to tell him that it was okay, that you liked it– that you wanted him to stay and never leave again.
But it’s too late. You’re left alone in the stifling air of your living room, half a bottle of wine on the coffee table and your heart on the floor.
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CREEP
18+ / mdi
summary: jungkook's in love. finally, after years of waiting for that perfect romance, he finds himself utterly infatuated with the perfect girl. too bad she has no idea who he is. but it's okay, he knows enough about you for the two of you, and he'll make sure to work his way into your life.
content: stalker!jungkook, clueless!reader, lowkey inspired by you from netflix, stalking, reader is surveilled by jk without her permission, smut, afab reader, masturbation (both m and f receiving), jk watches her have sex and masturbating, penetrative sex, creampie, finger sucking, etc.
wc: 10.2k
a/n: my first sort of dark toxic fanfic everyone say yay!!! also please do not read if these themes offend you thank youuuu
masterlist
You'd gone on another date tonight.
This was the fifth one this month.
Always a different guy. Jungkook had been keeping count.
It was hard to not let it get to him. Sure, he was aware that you didn't owe him anything, and much less did he feel as if he held any sort of ownership over you, bu the more men he beheld in your presence, the less patience he had.
Jungkook knew you to be a smart girl. You were a well put-together adult, an incredibly confident and intelligent woman who needed no protection from anyone. It was one of the many things that made him fall for you. It was just the decisions you took in regard to your love life that left Jungkook bothered.
He tried not to judge you, truly he did, but seeing you go from one idiot to another pained him. Intimately so. While aware that you needed to get all these idiots out of your system, Jungkook just wasn't sure how much longer he could hold back as he watched you with this week's respective idiotic bachelor.
This time around, it was some idiot named Liam.
To the naked eye, he might've been a good pick — which is why you'd even given him the time of day, Jungkook assumed. He was tall, — but Jungkook was taller — he was fit, — but Jungkiok fitter — he had okay money — except it was none compared to Jungkook — he had everything the average woman would look for in a man. Truly, Jungkook could not blame you for thinking this might be the right guy.
But, at the same time, you sometimes had the tendency to rush things. Or at least that was what Jungkook had noticed after the past few months of watching you.
The same had happened with Liam.
After messaging for about a week, you'd found yourself at a late night date.
It was the usual. Dinner, walk around a nearby park, and finalizing with a solicitous invitation to your apartment. That much was fine with Jungkook. He didn't care (well, he very much did). A man vying for your affections was not shocking to him. You were perfect. Jungkook was certain of it.
It was what happened behind closed doors that churned his insides out.
Maybe it had been a bad idea when Jungkook decided to install a camera in your apartment, but he couldn't help himself. It had seemed inviting at the time. You had been gone on a family vacation for a week, leaving your place completely vacant, too inviting for him to not take the chance to look around.
And look around, he did.
Out of all the time in which he'd known you, that had been the best day of all. Getting to be in an environment tailored to you and by you had been heaven.
He laid on your bed, letting himself be engulfed by the scent of your shampoo on your pillow. He'd chuckled at all the adorable plushies scattered throughout your place. He'd installed his cameras, ensuring the ability to supervise in case the occasion were to come up.
But his most favorite had been the souvenirs he'd taken with him. The pretty lace set he'd taken as a memento to ensure he had a little piece of you with him at all times.
Currently, as he went over today's events whilst in bed, that pretty set sat on his pillow — on the side of the bed he decided would be yours as soon as he made you his ...
Going back to more pressing matters. That idiot, Liam.
God, even thinking about how the night had ended made him angry. How did you pick these guys? Well, Jungkook knew the how (usually some shitty dating app), but he just couldn't understand the why.
Your dinner had been subpar at best. Liam had picked the shittiest 'fancy' restaurant available. He had ordered for you (whilst picking the cheapest options available), hadn't even bothered to buy you quality wine, and took a ten-minute bathroom break halfway through dinner — which he had spent on some stupid phone call to a buddy of his. Talk about priorities.
Going back home, he parked too far from your apartment for some stupid reason or other, choosing to walk you under a thinly-veiled pretense to make sure you arrived home safely. Instead, he went home with you despite not deserving such privilege.
This time around, Jungkook could tell that you weren't too enthusiastic to allow him in, but it seemed ritualistic to you by now. He argued that maybe you wanted at least one thing to come out of the date, even if that was just some meaningless sex.
Except that the sex had been even worse than anything that came prior.
At first, Jungkook felt morally ambiguous as he watched the live feed of the camera he'd installed in your apartment, but considering that he had already followed you to your date (under disguise, of course), this wasn't all that bad.
The foreplay had been nonexistent (his first mistake, Jungkook was very well aware), leaving you dissatisfied before it all even began. Barely wet and not stimulated at all, you laid there, letting that undeserving idiot do a novice's job at fingering you. Jungkook caught onto the winces on your face as the dumbass worked you with zero finesse. It was a complete disaster that left you just as dry as you'd been since walking through the door.
The worst part of all had been the actual sex itself. Jungkook was genuinely appalled at Liam's ability to get gradually worse as the night progressed.
For starters, you didn't cum. Jungkook would've been able to spot a fake orgasm from you from miles away. You gave a great performance, he had to admit. Had he been any other idiot (re: Liam), he might've believed you. But he knew all your tells. Despite how pretty you looked, how ruinous you sounded, he knew that you'd fabricated that scene to get Liam to stop trying to make you cum to no avail.
Liam, though, had the night of his life. Of this, Jungkook was sure. He needed no confirmation for it, but he received it in the form of many incoming messages you got the following morning. After kicking Liam out the previous night, — under the premise that you had work early the next morning (because you were far too nice to tell him to get fucked) — you awoke to messages from the idiot wondering when part two would come.
Jungkook scoffed at the messages, itching to respond but knowing that if he did, he'd give away that he'd hacked into your accounts. However, he was happy to see that you'd let him down, using one excuse or another as to why you shouldn't go on a second date.
This was the usual routine you followed.
Or at least in the past three months in which Jungkook had been watching you. But now things would be different.
Because Jungkook had finally had enough.
It was time for you to meet the love of your life.
Jungkook's decision to finally make his way into your life was inspired by a message exchange you'd had with your friend slightly prior to your escapade with that idiot.
You'd been frustrated, unwilling to continue with this stupid back and forth with guys who did not deserve you (your words, though Jungkook fully agreed). This was your last attempt, you'd sworn. You'd give up on dating sites from then on, thus giving up on dating in general, because, according to you, the current state of dating did not exist in real life. Romance was dead, you'd claimed, disheartened by how many failed talking stages you'd been through and by the amount of men disinterested in more than simple one-night stands.
So, Jungkook swore something to himself.
He swore that he'd be the man to change your mind. He'd let you exhaust yourself with worthless men and come swoop you off your feet.
For months, he'd prepared for this. Everything about you, he knew. If there was any man perfect for you, it was him.
He liked to think that he was your type already — tall, handsome, smart, financially intelligent, romantic. He had everything you wanted in a man. All he had to do now was swoop into your life and make his interest be known.
But there was a problem.
As much as Jungkook liked you, — and as much as he believed you'd like him back — he was scared. Among all his attributes was a shyness that appeared to only show up when it concerned you. There'd been various instances in which he'd been itching to meet you, to cut his research short and kneel before you, begging you to give him a chance. But this had proved impossible to him. It was one of the reasons as to why he hadn't just grown the balls to speak to you in the first place.
Under his logic, it was better to study you from afar. To learn everything about who he was sure would become the love of his life. Everything about you was perfect to him from the moment he saw you. He could not risk letting you get away; disappointing you by not being the man you needed.
So he watched you from afar. He learned what to do, what not to do.
By now, he knew everything he needed to know. He knew in which ways to impress you, in which ways to ensure he wouldn't drive you away. It was just his constant anxieties about meeting you that prevented him from approaching you sooner.
Though, technically, you'd already met.
It had been brief. He was sure you didn't even remember it. Yet it was a life-changing moment for him.
It had been his turn to do a coffee run at the firm he worked at. Despite holding an important position within the company, his department had been looking for a replacement assistant for a while, leaving the more menial tasks up to the higher ups (re: Jungkook and a few others).
Upon arriving at the nearest coffee shop, there you were.
Jungkook remembered every detail about you on that day. Your hair had been done the way you usually did it, but your lipstick had been a particular shade of red he'd been itching to see you wear again.
Speaking to you had been a feat. His eyes remained on the counter the whole time, stumbling over his words a bit when you'd cracked some joke that you'd likely practiced for new customers. Jungkook wasn't usually like this. Your beauty had just caught him completely off-guard, leaving him looking like a gaping idiot.
You were beautiful, charming, and overall just a goddess in Jungkook's eyes.
It had been on that day that he'd decided that his life would now revolve around getting you to be his.
Jungkook had a tendency to get everything he wanted anyways. Wealth just happened to do that to a person.
~
The day that he'd meticulously planned for months had arrived.
Jungkook had practically jumped out of his seat when Jimin stepped out of his office to inquire as to who would be getting their usual drinks this time around. He tried not to be obvious about it, but he couldn't let this day go to waste. He'd even done his hair in a way he knew you liked (at least based on your prior dating history), donning a suit that perfectly showed off his body line, accentuating his muscles while also letting the dip of his waist show.
He felt frivolous, but the mere thought of you enjoying his appearance made him appreciate himself all the better.
Stepping out, there was a pep in his step. The knowledge that he'd finally — officially — meet the girl of his dreams had him over the moon. Taehyung had even eyed him weirdly when he noticed his uncharacteristic enthusiasm on a random Tuesday morning. Jungkook simply brushed him off. Nothing was going to derail him today.
Today would be the start of the rest of his life. Nothing had mattered as much as this moment.
As he stood in front of your place of work, he hesitated a bit.
The glass doors gave him a perfect view of you working behind the coffee bar. He stayed there, watching you from afar, for a few moments. Not minding the buzzling in and out of the coffee shop, he remained there, attempting to psych himself up to finally make a move.
Would you remember him?
No, of course not. Why would you?
Your one and only meeting had been three months ago. It had been such a fleeting moment, yet it had left such a long-standing effect on him. Jungkook hoped maybe that had been mutual, but according to your messaging history, that was not the case.
Shaking his head of any irrelevant thoughts, he finally stepped forward, hand landing on the door to push it open. And then, there you were.
You weren't paying attention to him as he stepped towards the counter. No, you were wiping the table — always doing something, always working. Jungkook knew this about you. You had a habit to keep yourself busy at all times. You liked feeling useful. He really liked this about you.
When he finally settled his feet right across from you, you looked up with a slight jump. Jungkook even noticed you do a quick double-take at his appearance.
"Oh, uh hi! Welcome. What can I get for you today?", you cleared your throat with a smile.
"Morning," he smiled back, sheepish, "Sorry, it's a bit of a big order. I'm on coffee run duty today," he said as he handed you the slip of paper containing his floor's orders of choice.
"Oh, yeah for sure," you grabbed the note, incidentally brushing your fingers.
Jungkook had to do a double take himself when he noticed a slight blush on your cheeks at the contact. He couldn't let his confidence falter, but the internal satisfaction at even the slightest reciprocation already had him beaming.
Was it really working? He hadn't even done anything yet. Maybe catering his looks to your liking really did have its intended effect.
You excused yourself from the counter and walked over to the side to begin preparing the drinks. Jungkook, being as determined as he was, trailed along, not minding the glass above the counter separating customers from baristas. Dumbly, he watched as you made the drinks, occasionally catching your eye and chuckling when you'd giggle.
"Is coffee making that interesting to you?", you chuckled, head tilting in curiosity but not once stopping your work.
"The sight is fascinating for sure," he hummed.
You faltered a bit after that, grip on the cup needing readjustment due to his unexpected flirting. Jungkook, on the contrary, maintained his posture. His eyes remained on yours and a small smile graced his lips.
"Okay, damn," you murmured under your breath. You tried to suppress a flustered smile, but Jungkook still caught it.
"Too forward? I thought maybe it was too subtle," he chuckled.
You set aside one of the drinks, moving onto the next one. If Jungkook didn't know any better, he might've thought you were taking your time.
"Do you do this to all service workers or am I just special?"
"Maybe you're just special," he began, "I can't lie, you might've caught my eye last time I was here," he admitted.
Half-truths were okay.
"Oh? I don't remember you. Remind me?"
Your tone had turned higher, maybe even flirtatious. Luck was on Jungkook's side today.
He'd known you to like guys who were a little forward — or at least that's what you'd texted your best friend after another failed date with a guy who couldn't mumble his way out of a single compliment. Apart from attempting to physically embody your type, he'd also decided to act in every way he knew you'd be extra responsive to.
Luckily for Jungkook, it appeared as if your type was pretty much just him.
"Hmm," he pretended to ponder over it, "Too little time. Maybe I could stop by after your shift and remind you then. It was a life-changing experience, I have lots to say."
A truth hidden behind a joke. He was doing good at this.
Another giggle left your lips, almost dropping the pen you were currently using to write the names of each recipient of the drinks.
"Your suit looks more expensive than my monthly wages. Are you sure you wanna spend your time waiting for a lowly barista, Mr. CEO?"
If only you knew just how much time he was willing to invest in you. How much he'd already invested.
"Not a CEO. And I'd be willing to stand here for hours if that's what it takes."
"Okay, damn. You're serious, huh?", you laughed, "I'm off in three hours. But I'll look a mess by then. If you really want to tell me how I changed your life, here's my number," your hand crossed the threshold of the small divide between the counter and the bar, grabbing onto his own and scribbling your number on the back of his hand.
"I hope you know I'll be making liberal use of this," he warned lightheartedly.
"Don't threaten me with a good time," you grinned one last time before handing him a cup holder with all his drinks.
Jungkook had to force himself and be cool as he exited out of the establishment, attempting to conceal the huge smile on his lips at his success.
Things had gone way smoother than he'd ever fantasized. The nerves he was sure would surge as soon as he saw you simply never made an appearance. He'd been able to wow you, to make you laugh. Fuck, your shy giggle at his dumb flirting would likely replay in his brain for the rest of the day.
There was a brand new pep in his step as he made his way back. It had taken herculean self-control to not look back and check if you were looking back at him as he left. He needed to play it cool. You liked guys who were down, horribly bad for you, but that would come later. For now, he needed to preserve an image of coolness.
Jungkook made his way back to his building, multiple cups in hand aided by the cup holder. He'd made sure his hand remained untouched, unwilling to risk losing your number (despite the fact he already had it — and way more than just your number).
It was the cutest thing to him, seeing you scribble your number on his hand as your hand held his firm for the pressure of the pen. The shadow of your touch remained on him, something which he would preserve in his mind until the moment he got to feel your touch again.
Jungkook's thoughts were interrupted by a sudden voice. Though not too sudden, as he was now surrounded by people, not having realized he'd arrived as he was deep in his thoughts.
"You look very happy."
Turning to his side, he found Taehyung standing there, hands on hips before he walked over to Jungkook and took his coffee from the beverage holder he had at hand. He had that same look on his face he always had when he was teasing him. Jungkook felt slightly embarrassed at how obvious his feelings showed through his face.
The smile on his lips simply couldn't be helped.
"Oh, I-"
"You have that dopey smile on your face. I haven't seen that in a while," Tae noted, "Who is she?"
Jungkook did a combination of a choked breath and a scoff, resulting in a very unpleasant sound. Clearing his throat to properly respond, he took a sip from his own coffee, setting down the rest on a table nearby so they could be up for grabs.
"What makes you think it's a girl?", he attempted to evade.
"C'mon, man. Humor me," Tae nudged.
Jungkook sighed, knowing that Tae would probably not let this go. Jungkook was known as a man adverse to the dating scene, constantly pushed and pulled in every direction possible to get him to give dating a chance. What no one had known was that his heart was waiting for the perfect girl, which he'd been lucky to have found a few months back and had locked his mind and heart on.
Since things with you were pretty much settled now, Jungkook supposed that mentioning his upcoming date (the one he'd ensure to schedule with you as soon as humanly possible) wasn't too out of the question. He was too giddy to keep it in.
"Uhm, I might've asked a girl for her number."
And it was like those words sounded an alarm at the office.
Suddenly Jimin was standing next to Taehyung, with Hobi stopping on his tracks to join in on the conversation, all with their ears practically perked up in Jungkook's direction.
"You what?!"
"A girl? Since when? Who?"
"Fucking finally. I ran out of girls to set you up with."
All congratulatory and accusatory messages were delivered all at once, making Jungkook roll his eyes at the collective.
He was known as a hopeless romantic, which was known to make him incredibly picky — or anal, as Taehyung could say — about who he dated. So, yeah, maybe the fact that he'd asked a girl for her number was a big deal. But Jungkook didn't want his friends meddling with it or asking too many questions before things even started.
Especially when Jungkook couldn't really let anyone in on how he'd met you or how he'd ended up in this situation in the first place. Not even his friends could become privy to the liberal freedoms he'd taken to get to know you and ensure he'd get a chance at being with you.
His master plan was a secret he'd take to the grave.
"Just a girl. It's not a for sure thing yet. Don't wanna jinx it," is what he settled with to avoid any specifics.
"C'mon. Nothing else? It's been years, man. Give us something more," Hobi goaded.
Jungkook couldn't help the slight smile that threatened to break through at the thought of you. At the thought of what was to come.
"I'll keep you guys updated after I actually ask her out."
He received some 'boo's for that, but the shrugged them off with a lighthearted eye-roll, taking his coffee and walking over to his office after a few more minutes of teasing from his friends. They'd pointed out the phone number on his hand, awing and cooing at him in jest before he took his leave. His friends left his mind as soon as he stepped into his office, uncharacteristically putting work aside so he could put his mind on more important things — you.
Pulling out his phone, well, his burner, he decided to course through your social medias just out of sheer curiosity. Had you said anything about him? Maybe texted a friend? It'd only been a few minutes, but he knew you were usually due for a break soon and the curiosity was killing him. He needed to know what your first impression of him.
He checked your twitter, your private twitter account, even your instagram, and nothing. Which was to be expected. You weren't really the type to post your every move. But still, Jungkook was hopeful that maybe he'd invaded your mind in the same way you did his.
And then he suddenly got a notification. It was a text message from your friend, instigating him into opening your messaging app.
Upon opening it, he found an ongoing conversation, leading him to scroll up a bit to see how it'd started.
you - omfg i met the cutest guy just now you - he asked for my number im going insane you - he smelled so fucking good fuckjhdgfhskd
bestie - wait bestie - what ??? bestie - WHO bestie - PICS
you - i dont have pics u freak you - we barely just met. he's hot as fuck though !!!! you - im in over my head he's perfect
bestie - so whats the plan !!!! bestie - are yall meeting or what ?? bestie - r u fucking him bestie - i thought u were over dating bc of last time ...
you - dont bring that demon up !!! you - we didnt make plans. i just gave him my number but he kept flirting so im hoping for a call soon you - (or else ill go looking for him hes too fine to let go) you - ill make an exception for him he's just my type
Jungkook was practically kicking his feet like a teenage girl in love at every single message.
It was odd watching the conversation play out in real time, but he couldn't be too bothered about that. Not when he was so enamored with the way you spoke about him.
You wanted him!!! You wanted to fuck him!!! — a thought that made him both blush and his skin heat up. You were interested and willing to give dating a chance just to get to know him.
He was beyond fucked. But in a good way.
The excitement brought goosebumps to his skin and the itch to contact you immediately and confess his addiction to you grew more by the second.
But he had to play it cool.
He exited out of the conversation after that, wanting to give you some privacy to gush over him with your friend (it was really the least he could do).
However, the itch to message you persisted, which is exactly what he did next.
He went through many reiterations of what to send, thinking back to prior conversations you'd had with previous partners and the subsequent conversations you'd had with your friends about said partners. If Jungkook was anything, he was an expert on you. If he had to take on another PhD, his thesis would undoubtedly be about you.
In the end, he decided on being true to himself while also following the self-given advice he'd gathered through the months of knowing you.
Jungkook - let me take you out. Jungkook - this is jungkook btw Jungkook - (the love of ur life in case that wasnt clear)
Okay, sure, he wasn't as suave as the average person would expect. However, he was very well aware of what your type was. You liked to be chased, to have a guy on his knees begging for a chance — but not in a creepy way. Those had been your exact words the multiple times in which you'd vented to your friends both via text and facetime.
To your luck, Jungkook was exactly that. He had already gone way more out of his way than the average person did (or should) just to get one chance to get you to consider him as a suitor. Being down bad, or perhaps even a loser, was not a feat for him.
Your response came after a few minutes, with an excited acceptance to his offer (thank god) and a plan ultimately set up for the upcoming weekend. Jungkook could barely continue his work day after such news, too giddy to concentrate and wanting to huddle under a blanket and kick at his feet like a teenage girl.
The rest of the day was spent with thoughts of you, pushing his work aside while he mentally prepared yet another gameplan for what was to come. He needed to think of a date, arrange it, maybe even plan for what would come after it — because there would be another. He'd ensure it.
It was a few days away, yet Jungkook continued to think about it up until that very day, thankful he no longer had to wait and watch back as you dated dumbass after dumbass. Jungkook had already forgotten about every undeserving idiot he had witnessed come before him, knowing himself to be on a whole entire level to them.
As the days towards the date passed, Jungkook continued casually texting you, making good on his promise to make liberal use of your phone number (despite having already made good use of all your other information without your knowledge). He shared reels with you, tiktoks, messaged you jokes, 'good mornings,' flirtatious back and forths, anything that could get the two of you talking in the meantime. Jungkook wanted to share his genuine personality with you, hopeful that you'd like him as he was and that your personalities were as compatible as he'd predicted.
And he'd been correct. Your conversations never halted abruptly, flowing through the days and never having awkward lulls in between. It felt like talking to an old friend, except that this time around it was who he believed would become his soulmate.
Despite wanting to give you more privacy now that he had actually met you formally, Jungkook still occasionally fell for the temptation of checking your messages through his burner phone. He'd made a deal with himself that he'd stop, that he'd do things right and not mar things between you by reading your private conversations or spying on you as he did before. But sometimes it was hard. Especially when he needed to ensure things went well enough for him to be able to ask you to be official.
And so he checked, and was very pleased by what he found.
Your words about him towards your friends were blush-worthy, to say the least. You'd shower him with compliments, with some being PG while others leaning towards more R rated territory. He'd blush and flush and go crazy at those comments, itching to get you alone and show you even more things to gush about to your friends.
But for now, he prepared for your date. He'd have time to rock your world later, all in due time. His cards needed to be played right, and he was more than prepared to win this game.
Unsurprisingly to Jungkook, the date went amazing.
From the moment he picked you up, to the moment he offered to walk you from his car to your door, everything went better than he'd fantasized night after night.
He'd picked an expensive restaurant, offering to take up the entire bill (as any gentleman should, but he knew you weren't used to such treatment) and even brought you what he knew to be your favorite flowers. He picked you up, of course, earning the reward of seeing you walk out of your apartment with the most life-ruining dress he'd ever seen. A few stammered compliments were given, leading to the price that were your shy giggles in return.
At the actual date, everything ran smoothly. Jungkook's knowledge of you proved useful to wow you, but truly, he didn't need to pretend or lie to you at any moment in order to impress you. He was himself, and that was something you seemed to adore (but not as much as he already adored you). Every joke was met with a giggle, and every train of thought was reciprocated and entertained by you. You'd even played footsie with him at some point, sharing the teasing physical contact with him in return to his occasional flirtation.
When it came time to leave, he drove you back home, parking a little further away under some lame pretense just so he could spend a little extra time with you to walk you home. You caught on to this, but to Jungkook's joy, you entertained his idea, not wanting the night to end just yet either.
Once at your door, Jungkook felt conflicted.
Preferably, this would be the moment in which he finally shared his first kiss with you, a moment he'd imagined too many times to be able to admit. Yet, he found himself hesitating.
As far as he'd known you, you'd disapproved of moving too fast in relationships. It just wasn't you, you'd say. The only occasions in which you allowed for things to move forward within short periods of time were for one-night stands or when you already knew there would be no further dates.
Jungkook, however, wished to not be lumped into neither one of those categories.
So he stood there, smiling at you, holding onto your hand and unwilling to let go as his thumb graced your knuckles in a soft manner. It was silent, but it wasn't awkward. The best way to describe it was enamored — and to Jungkook's delight, it seemed to be a mutual sentiment!
But then you threw him off completely.
Not bothering to warn him, you stepped forward, putting your hands on his jaw and pulling him in as you stood on your tippy toes to reach him.
He had no time to react, eyes widening and mouth opening as you connected your lips to his. It took him a second to respond, with his arms still limp and awkward between you before he stepped into action. If you wanted a kiss, he'd deliver the best one of your life.
Taking control of the situation was easy. The shock of his long-time wish finally coming true only had him in dreamland for a few seconds before he finally snapped and reciprocated. He began to lead you, lips overpowering yours and tongue slipping out of his mouth and into your own.
He couldn't let himself think about the kiss too deeply. It was already torturous, hearing your sighs muffled by his lips and swallowing every tiny sound you made at the aggressive way in which he'd begun to kiss you. He had all the power, and much to his mental dismay, you seemed to really enjoy it.
But he needed to control himself. He couldn't let this move too fast. Couldn't let himself give in to desire and have his long-awaited day with you. Even if his body was itching for him to get on his knees and beg for a chance between them, he had to hold himself back.
However, this did not prevent him from indulging in your touch at least a little.
Pushing you up against your front door, his lips trailed down your neck and into the expanse of your chest that was bared (courtesy of the cleavage you'd decided to bless Jungkook with). His lips were indecisive, going from your sternum and up to your neck, nipping lightly at times and easing the sting with flicks of his tongue. The pretty sounds you let out were more than reward enough for his efforts.
His knee ended up between your legs, itching closer and closer to your middle and digging itself there with a practiced precision that had you keening under his hold.
"Please," you sighed after some time, begging for something your dazed state likely didn't even know.
"Please what, baby?"
Your head turned, catching his lips again, but not in a kiss. It was too messy to be deemed a kiss, consisting of open mouths and too much spit to be considered sanitary.
"Come in? I wanna- Please come in," you pleaded, effectively killing Jungkook.
It took herculean effort for Jungkook to stay put. It was the hardest thing in the world to reject you when you were so desperate, when your voice was a mere breath of desire landing right against his lips before dipping into yet another kiss.
He couldn't help the groan that left him, but he replaced it with a chuckle when you whined at the separation of lips.
"You know I can't do that, baby."
"But I want you to!" you pouted, petulant and way too convincing.
His hand went up to your chin, turning your head towards him. It could've been considered a cute gesture, but his knee remained digging into your cunt (which was pulsing against him, driving him further into insanity) and your bodies were still too pressed up to be considered proper.
Looking up at him, you pouted, eyebrows hunched together in a way that let him know you were left wanting more. He thumbed at your chin in a soft manner, cooing at the adorable sight before him.
But you just had to pay him back for his teasing — though it was fair, considering his knee continued to dig into your cunt, earning tiny gasps from you and an eye-roll of pleasure.
You tilted your chin back, landing his thumb on your bottom lip and subsequently pulling it into your mouth (not that Jungkook put too much of a fight). Still staring into his eyes, you suckled at his thumb, wide, empty eyes making him lose himself.
He stood there, dumb and gone as he watched your cheeks sink in as you licked and sucked at his thumb, moaning when he pressed at your tongue. It was filthy and depraved and he loved it.
"Are you sure you won't come in?" you tried one last time, seduction in your voice.
It took everything in him. Every last ounce of self-control and survival skills in him to be able to deny you after you'd put on that little show for him.
But he'd worked too hard to fuck you within one day of having you. He needed to take his time and romance you as you'd always wanted. Sometimes he just knew you better than you knew yourself.
"I'm sorry, angel. I need to kiss you goodnight, okay?", he pouted back at you, chuckling when you mirrored his pout.
But then you smiled at him. Warm, accepting and especially enamored.
He had done good.
"I'll be waiting for a goodnight text from you," you said after he'd pecked your lips a few times, finally giving you enough space away from the door.
"I'll even text you good morning first thing tomorrow, beautiful," he smiled at you.
When you left (after even more chaste pecks), a smile overtook him. The half-forming boner was the last of his worries when he felt so happy at the outcome of tonight's events. He might've even skipped on his way to his car.
~
What happened next was slightly predictable to Jungkook.
He had sworn to himself he wouldn't. Had sword he'd give you privacy from now on. That he'd let things play out naturally now that he had you to himself, ready to fall in love with him.
Yet curiosity got the best of him once again.
He'd rushed his way home, even driving through a few red lights on his way. It was a life-or-death matter to him (or at least to his boner).
As soon as he was home, he ran to his macbook, opening up the tab that would display the only sight that would leave him satisfied when he was so pent up and needy for you.
And when he caught sight of what he'd been looking for, a groan couldn't help itself but to escape his lips.
There you were, busy with your hand between your legs as you sighed out Jungkook's name in between flicks of your clit. The sight was sinful, leaving Jungkook a lifeless version of himself as he groaned and cried out at the view.
Joining you in your touches was a given. He wished he could be there right now, working you to his desires, but he was still content with the current state of affairs. His hands undid his pants faster than they'd ever before, freeing himself from any clothing concealing him before losing himself in you.
He'd seen you touch yourself countless times, already well aware of what you'd do, how you'd play with yourself. But this time was different. This time it was rushed, desperate. It was a desperation he easily mirrored, completely empathetic to the feeling.
It didn't take him much to make himself cum, having already been on the brink whilst driving himself home. The effect some mere kissing and fondling had had on him was somewhat embarrassing, but he couldn't blame himself. Not when you'd been the cause.
Watching you cum, back arching and breath hitching at the overwhelming feeling. Even as he watched you, he felt pained. It was a depraved feeling he'd never experienced before, with the incessant need to be the one experiencing these feelings with you, cursing at himself for depriving himself from the experience.
Once the sensations seized, Jungkook closed his computer, setting it aside so he could ruminate on that day's occurrences.
Before going to sleep, he made sure to give you that 'goodnight' text he'd promised, smiling at himself when you replied, even adding a few heart emojis in tandem.
The development of your newfound relationship continued just as Jungkook had hoped.
More dates went by, with frequent stops at your cafe any time he had a short break during work (meaning, often). It was easy to tell that you were as enamored with Jungkook as he was with you. The many flirty texts and delivered flowers paid off, and it all felt very natural to him. Treating you the way you deserved, the way he'd been itching to treat you, it was like a gift to Jungkook.
It'd only been a month, yet it felt like an eternity to him.
He'd stopped keeping tabs on you by then.
Well, for the most part.
The curiosity after every date remained in him. Every time he held back and dropped you off without anything further than some kisses, he itched to know how you felt afterwards, instantly checking on his camera and even looking for any feedback you may have given your friends.
It was safe to say that you wanted him just as much as he did you.
Which made it all the more difficult to hold back from letting you pull him into your apartment and finally having his way with you.
But after this month of pure bliss, Jungkook finally decided.
He'd finally let himself have you in the way he'd been thirsting after.
Tonight, he'd planned yet another date. After that first one, it was virtually impossible for the two of you to stay away from each other. Not only did Jungkook want to spend every available second with you, but you were very responsive to that fact, always accepting and even suggesting dates.
But tonight was different. When you'd suggested some ice cream and a walk in the park, Jungkook took a risk and asked you if you'd rather come over, maybe watch a movie and eat some pre-bought ice cream (of your choosing, of course). It was a thinly-veiled excuse to get you in his apartment (and completely alone) for the first time.
And unsurprisingly to Jungkook, you accepted. There was a suggestive smile in your lips when you did so, leading Jungkook to believe that you were aware of his desires and even shared some of your own.
He couldn't help the anxious feelings overtaking him as he waited for you to arrive. He knew what was coming, knew that tonight would be the culmination of all he'd ever wanted since laying eyes on you. His skin burned at the thought of what was to come and his body shook in anticipation, goosebumps forming as the minutes passed.
When you knocked on his door, he couldn't help but run to it like a dog awaiting its owner's return. He didn't want to appear too giddy, like some freak only wanting to jump into your pants, but that fact was half reality. He was depraved for you. He was desperate, only having held back for so long because he had wanted to do things right, to win your heart before getting access to your body.
And finally he'd have both.
"Hey," you smiled up at him at his doorstep, front teeth digging into the plush of your bottom lip. You leant against his door frame, casual yet slightly nervous.
Looking down at you, he noted your cutesy pajamas. A matching set of tiny shorts and a tank top currently covered by an oversized hoodie, unzipped and letting him in on your outfit.
"Ready for our sleepover?", you giggled.
It was impossible not to be enamored by you.
When he'd suggested a movie and some ice cream at his place, you'd adorably suggested a sleepover, insisting on some movie marathon of his choice and all the snacks you could wish for. You'd said that it was an excuse to 'be domestic and shit,' as you'd put it. You also adamantly claimed you needed to check whether or not he snored in order to continue the relationship (all whilst blushing at the 'r' word, not having labeled things yet and unknowing that Jungkook would do so tonight).
He smiled back at you, doing his best to hold back from aggressively attacking you with the affection overflowing him. His mind battled between finding you adorable and wanting to lock you down and keep you in his bed for weeks to come.
"Come in, pretty. I got all your favorite snacks," he welcomed you in with a bear hug, humming loudly as he nuzzled into your neck.
"Hmm, you give the best hugs, I hate you," you grumbled when he let go.
Then you walked in as if you owned the place, practically skipping over to the couch nearby and eyeing all the snacks Jungkook had grown to recognize as your favorites — though he had known this from the months of watching you.
"Come on! Sit. I demand my sleepover," you whined, getting up from the couch and pulling him to sit right next to you.
He chuckled, finding you adorable yet again.
~
Only one movie was watched before things began leaving the PG-13 realm Jungkook had invertedly found himself in.
After a bit, you'd cuddled into him, with his arm enveloping you and accepting you into his chest as you continued to watch the movie. But the movie was the last thing in his mind. What he wanted was to see in person that body which he'd so often watched through a screen without your knowledge.
He had theories of what you'd feel like under his touch, of how you'd react to his. But ultimately, he knew that imagination would never compare to reality.
By now, neither of you were paying attention to the movie. Jungkook had been unfocused since the moment you walked in. However, you'd kept up the pretense of an innocent sleepover for a little longer than he did. While he'd been ready to jump you since the date began, you'd played dumb and cuddled up to him as you watched the movie, though not once rejecting his attempts to get closer and closer.
And now, after the first movie of the night was finally over, his hands became braver. Sensing your equal desire for him, he let his hands find your bare thighs, knuckles running up and down their expanse as he subtly looked to his side, watching you squirm at the touch.
You pushed yourself closer, legs pressing together a bit when his hand began to dip into the middle of your legs. With a giggle, you turned your body to face this, a failed attempt at concealing a smile showing on your face.
"Slick," you chuckled. You might've meant it to mock him, but you still began giving in, putting your own hands on him.
Naturally, he took advantage of this, grabbing onto your hips and pulling you to straddle his lap. Your hands found their place on his shoulders, sliding from his shoulders to his jaw while his did the same on your waist and hips.
Kissing you came just as naturally, pulling you in and trapping your bottom lip between his own two, making the kiss deeper than you'd ever kissed each other before. You instantly hummed into his mouth, hands reaching to his head and pulling him closer. His own remained on your hips, having fun squeezing at the plush skin there, bare due to your shorts having ridden up while straddling him.
With a self-prescribed oral fixation, Jungkook would've had fun kissing you for hours on end. He had already fostered a tendency to bite at his own lip ring, but the satisfaction he got from it only intensified when you did it — which was exactly what you were doing at that moment.
As you nibbled and sucked at his bottom lip, occasionally pulling at the silver ring with your teeth, Jungkook's hands began feeling you up, slowly losing their hesitation in grabbing at any curve he could reach. Your hands eventually came to do the same, finding his arms and sighing into his lips when you felt the stiff muscle under your hands.
When Jungkook got tired of feeling you up through your clothes, his hands reached the hem of your top, slowly reaching underneath it to ensure he gave you time to pull him away if you didn't want him to do so (which he was very certain was not the case, at least going off your own hands doing the same to him). Pulling off your top, he disconnected your lips, moving onto your neck and letting his thumbs feel at your bare nipples, chuckling at the low whine you let out at the action.
"You're so pretty, baby," he murmured.
His eyes were closed and his face nuzzled into your neck, kisses being left in his wake. But despite having not seen the expanse of your torso yet, he knew you were the prettiest thing he would've ever laid his eyes on. He'd seen you countless times. Maybe through a screen and maybe without your knowledge, but he'd seen you enough to have every inch memorized. Now was time to memorize it all to the touch.
"Yeah?", you sighed, numb, thoughtless, just like he wanted you.
"Mhm," he hummed in affirmation, "Already so needy, huh?"
His lips went lower, hand flat on the middle of your back to hold your body up and finding his way to your breasts, covering in licks and kisses as you sighed along to every single one. He was in cloud 9, finally able to touch you as he'd always wanted. In every way he saw useless men attempt to.
You became antsy quickly after that. He was sure you could feel his hardness under you, especially when you'd readjust yourself on his lap, huffing when his hold on you gave you no freedom to move and find some friction against him. It was unspoken, but he was in charge here. Your pleasure was entirely his responsibility, and he'd choose exactly how he'd give it to you.
After all, he knew you better than you knew yourself.
"Take me to your room," you mumbled in between heavy breaths, already exhausted with lust.
Without a second to hesitate, Jungkook's hands went under your thighs, standing up as he lifted you up, your legs wrapping around his waist. The trip was a short one, ending with you sitting at the edge of his bed while he stood before you, hand on your chin to ensure you'd look up at him.
And the sight made him crazy.
There was not a single thought behind those eyes, only unadulterated lust staring up at him.
He mindlessly thumbed his way up to your lower lip, clawing at it softly in a silent command for your mouth to open and allow him in. And to no one's surprise, you took him in, suckling lightly at the digit as you continued looking up at him, faux innocent look in your eyes.
A silent groan left him at the act, knowing that this would be what you looked like if you were to be good for him and get some other part for him in your mouth. But even the mere finger sucking had him fighting for his life. He pressed his thumb into your tongue, pushing back a little and getting a slight gag out of you before you continued in your adamant sucking.
"Fuck," he muttered.
Then he used that same hand to pull your face towards his own, leaning down a bit to meet you in the middle.
While the kiss in the living room had already been nasty enough for his liking, this one was nothing if not depraved. Your tongues met in the middle, before any lip action could actually happen. It involved a lot of teeth knocking and needy sounds released against each other, but Jungkook thrived off this neediness. Knowing you wanted him so badly that you lost all inhibitions, all sense of self — it made him dizzy with desire.
Mid kiss, he began lowering himself on the floor, pulling your neck down with him so you'd angle down, keeping your lips connected despite the newfound discrepancy in height. When the kiss finally had to be broken, he immediately latched onto the bare skin of your legs, hands itching to pull off your shorts and panties down (thankfully, you were still lucid enough to lift your hips and aid him in this). And then he was finally met with the sight he'd been craving to bury himself in for months.
It was plush, slightly swollen with desire and dripping with arousal, staring back at him as he attempted to hold back.
He dove in without a single second-thought, hands opening your legs far enough to find himself his rightful spot between them.
This. This was all he'd think about as he'd watch you date dumbass after dumbass, left displeased by every single one no matter how hard you tried to find at least a single competent one.
He gave you everything he had in him, licking at the expanse of your cunt before stopping at your clit and giving it special attention. His hands gripped at your thighs, angling you so you'd lay back on the bed as he had some alone time with your pussy. Your hands pulled at his hair, maybe too harshly, but he couldn't feel anything but bliss at that moment.
Your taste, your smell, your touch, it was all taking over his mind. This had been all he thought about night after night, watching your failed dates and hoping he'd be the next one on the list. He knew exactly how to please you, both from innate knowledge and from how much he'd studied you these past months.
"F-fuck, you nose ..." you cried out when it accidentally rubbed at your clit, intensifying its movements after your reaction.
"Taste so good, baby," he mumbled.
It was impossible to ignore his own arousal now, allowing himself to rub against the side of the mattress while he continued to lick and suck at you. His mind was fuzzy, completely overtaken by the pleasure your touch, your taste, your smell, your sounds, you were giving him.
When you came, he still couldn't stop himself. He continued lapping at you, drunk in the taste and far too blissed out to process that the current pulling of his hair meant you were too sensitive to receive more.
When your whines got louder, he finally let you go, sitting back on the floor as he caught his breath.
Worth it.
"You're insane," you gasped between heavy breaths.
But he was too busy licking at any leftover essence dripping on his chin, smirking when you gaped at him.
"You did this to me," he rebutted, "Maybe don't seduce me next time," and then he climbed back on the bed, taking his rightful place above you as he kissed you once more, tongue in first to ensure you got a taste of yourself.
Immediately, your legs wrapped around him, forcing him down onto your bare center and encouraging to bump his hips against yours. His hands intervened, working at his sweats as fast as he could so he could finally get that skin-to-skin contact he'd been craving. With your feet, you haphazardly tried to aid him in pushing them off, with them ending up at his ankles and ultimately pushed off by his own feet. Separation seemed to be offensive to him, refusing to disconnect his lips from some part of your body at any time.
"'m gonna fuck you now, okay, baby?", he muttered, landing one last kiss on your lips.
"Like this? Or do you wanna-"
"Mm, like this. Wanna see you," he said as if it was the most obvious thing ever (which, fairly, to him it was).
He didn't bother with a condom, knowing you were on birth control after one of the many flirty late-night conversations you'd had leading up to this night (though he already had this knowledge through his secretive means).
Entering you could not be measured nor compared to any other experience. He'd known the event would be ruinous, but his mind could not have ever come close to reality.
Your eyes practically rolled back when he bottomed out, giving him a sight that he could never forget. Part of him wanted to reach down to his sweats and pull out his phone from his pocket, maybe take a picture, set it as his lockscreen and utilize it any time you weren't around.
But the thought left him when you whined at him to move, claiming you needed him.
Your nails dragged down his back as he began hammering in, making him wince at the painful pleasure. Burying his head in your neck, he kissed at the skin there, groaning when you wrapped your legs tighter around his waist, pulling yourself as close as possible whilst attempting to move against him.
"Feel so fucking good," he grunted, "Made for me, huh? You were just waiting for me to fuck you, huh, baby? Needed someone who knew how to make you feel good."
He was telling on himself a bit, but he didn't care. He needed to assert his place over every man that'd ever touched you before. Needed to confirm it for both you and him.
"Yes!," you cried out, "So good, fuck."
Your words were mostly nonsensical babbles after that, with the occasional curse or sigh of his name mixed in.
Jungkook was in paradise. This was all he'd wanted ever since his eyes landed on you. The feeling of your pulse surrounding his cock made his eyes roll back, making him struggle to keep up with the euphoric sensations you were giving him. He now understood why every man that landed on your bed was unable to please you. You simply rendered them boneless vessels of bliss.
"God, never letting you go after this. You know that, right? All mine," he rambled, truth spilling from his lips.
But you liked it. Your nails dug into his back, head nodding feverishly in agreement at his words.
"Mhm. Yours, fuck. Please don't stop ..."
He groaned, further burying his head in your neck and pressing himself up as close as humanly possible. Any distance between you felt like a burn to him.
His orgasm approached, but he knew the telltale signs of your own by memory. You were right there with him.
"Feels so fucking good, gorgeous. She's gripping me so hard, fuck. She's gonna cum for me, hmm? Wanna see you cum, pretty," he panted out.
You wailed when his thumb made its way between you, nudging at you lightly and teasingly enough to have you seeing stars. The movements of his hips never seized, barely able to move with how tight you were but still working you to completion.
When you came, you dragged him down with you, sighing out words that made him lose his mind.
"Cum inside ... Please. Wanna feel it," and just like that, Jungkook lost himself in you, filling you to the brim with no shame.
His hips kept slapping against the back of your thighs, chaffing skin forming due to the friction. But the feeling took the backseat in the midst of bliss.
Jungkook allowed himself to lay his body next to yours afterwards, giving you the role of little spoon as he pulled you as close as possible, with your head lying happily on his bicep.
Multiple pecks landed on your lips, chuckling when you groaned at him pulling out.
"You're crazy," you giggled, kissing his nose and simultaneously melting his heart in the process.
He shrugged, playing it off, "Had to make my girl feel good."
"Oh? Your girl?", you teased.
He engulfed you in his arms, flipping you so you'd lay under him, both arms caging you beneath him, "You're kind of mine now, in case that wasn't clear."
It was voiced as a joke, but he meant it.
"No complaints here," you giggled, kissing him as confirmation.
Pleased, he sat the two of you up, patting your hip in a comforting manner.
"C'mon, baby, go pee. I'll be waiting here with a clean change of sheets, okay?"
And with that, you practically skipped away, giving him a few kisses in that post-coital bliss before losing him to the other side of the bathroom connected to his bedroom.
Before bothering to throw off the sheets, Jungkook looked over his shoulder, making sure you were out of sight. He reached under his mattress, collecting the old phone and tablet through which he'd grown accustomed to surveilling you with, chuckling to himself as he turned them off, giving them a silent goodbye before throwing them into the trash.
He wouldn't be needing them anymore.
to read short 1.8k word continuation (+ all other previously written bonus content) you can go join my jk monthly tier on patreon!
content: smut, stalker!jungkook, afab reader, jk watches reader masturbate without her knowledge, masturbation (both f and m receiving), oral (f receiving), cumming in pants, etc.
wc: 297 (teaser); 1869 (full drabble)
sneak peak:
Jungkook had planned to stick to his word.
When he swore to himself that he'd give you privacy, trust you and let you exist without his constant supervision, he had truly meant it. However, as it usually happened, he was able to create nonsensical logistics in order to go back on his word.
It's not like he watched over you as he did before meeting you, though! He truly did give you your privacy — well, to some extent.
Any time you left his apartment, landing a sweet kiss on his cheek and informing him you'd be out with some friends, he restrained (despite the tiny dress you'd be wearing, letting him know you'd be garnering far too much attention from onlookers), wanting you to have fun with your friends without his watchful eyes (even if you wouldn't realize he had the ability to track you anyway). But he held back, trusting you to go and head back to your own bed afterwards, sending him a text goodnight with a cute kissy emoji attached.
When you'd be too preoccupied with your phone, rather than checking your texts through his burner phone, he'd nuzzle into your shoulder, happy at your indifference of him eyeing your screen (where he'd usually just find you playing some silly phone game or texting your friends).
However, it was under the dumbest circumstances possible that Jungkook just couldn't help himself in invading your privacy.
And this was any time you spent the night alone in your apartment rather than in his.
Any time you slept away from each other, he just needed to take a peak, to access that hidden camera he just refused to get rid of and get a look at the little show you'd put for him (all without your knowledge).
...
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wildfire (cs) | twelve.
—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 4.8k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing, lotsa talk goin around, mostly focused on namjoon lol, i'ma tell yall rn - cant trust nobody!!, everyone is just onto san x oc but for the wrong asssss reasons, joon loves his 'yes or no' questions lmao, again - i promise you there is no ill intentions behind namjoon's actions - he is trying to see both sides but he has to do what he needs to do as a department chair first & foremost!! pls understand my guy.. he had to think quick!
Today, it feels like everyone is staring at you.
Today, it feels like everyone knows, and everyone is projecting their assumptions about you and San out into the world.
"You okay?" Eunchae looks down at you as you walk and avoid contact, keeping your eyes down on your feet below or your phone. "You're awfully quiet today." Maybe word hasn't gotten to Eunchae, Jurin or Felix yet, but you know it'll eventually make its way over.
Or, maybe they have heard and they're just waiting for you.
All you know is that you wanna hide under your blankets to prevent all this overthinking, this anxiety from feeling like everyone is watching you.
"Yeah. Just tired."
"You sure? I'm all ears, you know."
"Mhm." You give her a small reassuring smile as you tug on your bag. "Thank you."
"Course."
"Have you heard from Jiung today?" You ask. You haven't really talked to Jiung since your fight at the happy hour event, and he hasn't done much to talk to you either. It's a bit awkward, but whenever you and your friends are all together, you try to keep the peace and act like nothing is wrong. You do hope he's okay, and you do hope to have your bestfriend back— but you're still upset at the fact that he jumped to conclusions about San and accused him of forcing you into this.
"No. But, he did say he probably wasn't gonna grab lunch cause he needs to take care of some things."
"I see."
"I'll see you for lunch though, right?" You nod, just as the Biology building comes into view. "Goodluck with class today."
"Thanks." You squeeze her hand before heading inside for class. Luckily, Yunho said he wouldn't be able to join class today. You weren't really in the mood to deal with him, and you're more so worried about getting through class in one piece before your mind tears you apart with all this overthinking.
"Morning Y/N!" A student already sitting in the classroom says. You're instantly comforted as you greet them back and start getting set up at the front of the classroom. But, that instantly goes down the drain when two more students walk in together— eyeing you as they pass the front table before talking amongst each other.
Fuck.
You haven't heard from San either.
The world truly felt like it was swallowing you whole.
—FLASHBACK
"Hey! I'm back." You smile at Sunwoo as you place your things down at your desk. It instantly fades when you get a chance to look around the basement office, a few of your lab members talking amongst themselves while looking in your direction. You slightly furrow your brows, wondering what exactly they were talking about or why they felt the need to be doing all of that in your face.
Was everyone in on you and San?
Is this what everything has come to?
"Hey you!" Sunwoo looks up, noticing the shift in your mood. He turns to look at everyone, shaking his head before returning his attention towards you. At this point, everyone has returned to their desks or left the room to head into the behavior or wet lab rooms. "You good?"
"Hm." You hum. "I guess."
"You guess? How was the conference?"
"Good! It was chill. Jotted down a few presentations I wanted to share with you and Belle. Is she around?" He shakes his head.
"Haven't seen her."
"Hm, okay."
"You can tell me, I'm all ears." You look at your watch.
"I gotta run behavior soon."
"So, let's grab something quick to eat before you run behavior?"
"I'm down. Kinda starving anyway."
"Yeah, let's get something in you. You won't be able to focus otherwise." He stands and stretches before nodding towards the door. "So, what was the most interesting?" You follow behind him with your wallet clutched in hand, lingering eyes watching as you leave with Sunwoo.
"Maybe she's trying to get around the lab?" You overhear one of the guys say just as you walk out of the room with Sunwoo, pausing in your steps.
"Sunwoo."
"Huh?"
"Actually, you know what. I think I can hang on until dinner. I should get started on behavior. We can talk about this another time."
"Huh? No, let's get something really quick."
"You can go ahead without me. Sorry. I just realized I'm more strapped on time than I thought I was."
"Okay? But, I'm grabbing you a snack and you better eat it." He slowly starts walking backwards down the basement hallway, glaring at you.
"Thank you." Sunwoo watches as your head falls when you walk back into the basement office. Truth be told, he's been hearing the talk go around, but he's not one to meddle— especially if it has something to do with his good friends. He'll always be on your side, regardless of what people say or think.
And he feels awful it's starting to be more obvious around you. The talk. The looks.
He wishes he could do more as your friend to help keep it away from you.
—END
Namjoon is already having a rough start to his day despite it being one of the lighter days meeting-wise. He was woken up to an urgent, sensitive email from the dean about an anonymous tip that came in overnight about San:
Namjoon— Please get to the bottom of this; we received this tip last night about San and his student. 'Hi. I'm not sure who to direct this concern to anonymously, but I believe Y/N Y/L/N and Professor Choi (San) are in an inappropriate relationship. I think she might be using it to her advantage to move forward in the program and secure her spot in his lab.' I'd like to resolve this before the end of the week. This should not be taken lightly if this is true...
And the thing is— he's just frustrated that this has been taking up this time lately. He hasn't even gotten his own time to think properly. He could only sigh in disappointment as he got ready for his day, unsure of what else it could bring him.
He should've known the storm was coming.
Iseul tugs on her jacket as she heads over to the Panama Building, the wind cooling her cheeks as she made sure to clear her hour for this particular meeting. Most students are in class right now, so the halls are quiet, still. Iseul takes the elevator up to the second floor and steps out, rushing down towards the left end of the hall.
"Namjoon." Namjoon turns over his shoulder to see Iseul. His door is wide open since he doesn't have any important meetings for awhile, and he always tries to foster a welcoming environment by letting students [and faculty] know they're always welcome to pop in if they need him.
He did not mean her though, especially today.
"Iseul."
"Can we talk?" Namjoon quickly sizes her, realizing she's already inside his office. He doesn't necessarily have a choice, but he knows this talk was gonna happen sooner or later.
He knows Iseul always has something to say.
"You're already in my office so I don't think there's necessarily a choice." He says it in a slightly playful manner just so he doesn't come off entirely rude. "What's on your mind?" Iseul shuts the door and crosses her arms before looking at him. Namjoon sits on the edge of his desk, hands loosely clasped together.
"I think you might already know." He shrugs.
"Enlighten me."
"San."
"What about him?"
"Can you let him know how dangerous it is to be dating his rotation student? He's being stupid."
"He's a grown man."
"And you're the chair."
"Thanks for the reminder." He furrows his brows. "Respectfully Iseul, this is not a discussion for you, that's why I'm not trying to indulge."
"How is this not? He's putting his reputation on the line, along with the school's. Including yours—"
"I don't see where you're involved. You don't have anything to do with him directly or the bioengineering department." He crosses his arms and stands. "I appreciate you bringing this to my attention, but this wasn't your place to do so. I'll handle it and I'll take care of it, so you don't need to worry." Namjoon glares at her a bit.
"You're being so casual about something pretty severe." Namjoon pauses as he maintains his eye contact with her. She wants him to shrink and fold, but he won't.
"I think we both know that's not the reason why you're bringing this up." Her brows are knit tightly as they sit in an awkward, tense pause. "Aren't you tired of treating San this way? Why exactly do you feel so strongly about calling him out?"
"I'm not even doing anything to him—"
"You're right, you're not. You don't respect him, you don't acknowledge him, you don't know how to be civil with him. Yet, you don't see me calling you out on your behavior towards your ex-husband who has done nothing but try and keep the peace. I only ever hear San's name come out of your mouth when you've got something bad to say about him." She glares at him. As much as Namjoon equally tries to be there for all of the faculty and to not choose sides, one thing that can surely piss him off is when people act this way unwarranted.
So no, he won't sit back if he feels the hostility. He understands the severity of the situation and he has yet to gather his thoughts and his information, but he won't take this.
"So, you're gonna let this go? Do you even actually understand the situation, Namjoon? If you won't take care of it, I'll have no choice but to escalate this to the dean."
"I do, plenty. You don't have to tell me twice or how to do my job, Iseul." He walks over to the door. "I already said I'll take care of it. On my own terms and in my own way. Not the way you want me to." He places a hand on his hip. "And what makes you think we haven't already discussed this?"
"Fine. If that girl ruins everything for the school—"
"She won't." Namjoon cuts her off just as he swings the door open. "This will be taken care of, end of story. Is there anything else I can help you with that doesn't involve San and his personal matters?"
"No." She huffs a bit before walking out of the room. At this point, Jiung is cutting the corner and almost running into Iseul as he makes his way to Namjoon's office. Jiung does a curt bow to Iseul as she storms by, heels clicking away on the linoleum floor. Her feet are heavy, Jiung feels every step even as she gets further and further away.
"Oh, Jiung. Nice to see a friendly face." Namjoon lets out a breath and gives him a toothless smile.
"Professor Kim." Jiung gives him a bow. "Are you free right now?"
"Mhm." He steps aside. "Just finished with Professor Lee. Come on in." He welcomes him inside, a bit relieved to see his face and to be welcomed by his gentle aura. It's nothing like Iseul and he's grateful; although, it does make him a little nervous to see Jiung in his office when he doesn't necessarily belong to the department.
And just like Iseul, the buzz around campus, everything that's been going down— Namjoon already feels like he knows what this is about.
The only thing he can do is confront it and take care of it just like he told Iseul he'd do. But, how? He's not sure. He's gonna have to take the time today to sit San down and poke at his brain because he's just not understanding how all of this went down and why his name and your name are being tossed around together.
Maybe he just didn't wanna believe it was true; not with San, no. He couldn't. Both as his friend and colleague.
"What can I help with? I'm a little surprised you're popping into my office since you're in the electrical engineering department."
"Ah, cause.." Jiung slowly sits in the chair and sets his bag down. "It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with me." Namjoon cocks his head to the side.
"Okay, no worries. I'm all ears."
"I-I don't really know how to say this, but I'm mainly concerned about a friend. She's in the bioengineering department."
"I think I might know what you're talking about." Namjoon says, giving Jiung a nod to proceed with his explanation.
"Yeah, it's that. I feel like Professor Choi might have forced her into it, though. It just seems really out of character for Y/N, and I don't know. I guess it just feels like he might have said something or tried to take advantage of her."
"I understand your concern for your friend, but can you let me know why you think Professor Choi is taking advantage of her or forcing her into this?"
"I just.. it just seems off, is all."
"But, what if this is also Y/N's choice?"
"It's not like her."
"I'm not saying you don't know your friend, Jiung. But, there are things people are fully capable of doing that can come off as unexpected from your point of view."
"I talked to her after the whole happy hour thing went down and I found Professor Choi kinda cornering her against the wall. She didn't look scared or anything, but she did get defensive while I was talking to her and asking her about it."
"I see." Is all Namjoon says because one, he just doesn't know. Just like he told Jiung, there are probably things he doesn't know San is capable of doing. He needs to talk to him and that's the only way he'll get the proper story. The only way to get to the bottom of it is finally confronting San about the issue at hand.
Face to face.
To be honest, he's been putting off the conversation because it's not a conversation he wants to have. It's not easy, nor will the decision at the end be something he wants to do— but he has to.
"I'm sorry, Professor Kim. I don't mean to add to your plate, but I got worried."
"Is Y/N doing okay otherwise?" He nods.
"Think so. She hasn't been saying much. We got into a fight after I confronted her so we haven't been talking."
"Sorry to hear that. I'm sure things will smooth over sooner or later." Namjoon says. "Is there anything else you'd like to let me know?"
"No, that's all. I'm sorry I don't have much details, I'm just worried about her."
"All good, I understand. I'm sure she appreciates it, too. She's lucky to have a friend like you by her side."
"Thanks, Professor Kim. For hearing me out."
"Sure. I'll take care of it and see what I can do, okay?" Jiung nods and stands, slipping his bag strap over his shoulder.
"Can we keep this between us? Please don't mention that I stopped by."
"Of course." Namjoon says softly as he stands to walk him to the dior. "Of course." He repeats.
"Thanks."
"I just can't promise you I'll have any updates cause it'll be pretty confidential moving forward."
"It's fine. I get it." Jiung stops right before he steps out the door. "Thank you again."
"No problem. You know how to reach me if you have any other concerns." Jiung nods before slipping through the door and taking his exit. Namjoon exhales heavily before pulling out his phone to text the person he needs—
namjoon: can we talk in my office? i'd rather much do this today, not later.
namjoon: i'm free for the next hour and half.
san: yeah. i'll be there in 15 minutes.
namjoon: thanks.
He sighs again, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tries to gather his thoughts. It's the hardest thing to approach this as a colleague rather than a friend because as a friend, Namjoon would let this go. He knows San deserves to be happy, and it sounds like he is. That's all he's ever wanted for him especially after all the hurt and pain he had gone through with Iseul and Yunho. But as a colleague, his 'higher-up' even, it's wrong. San's happiness is wrong because it's with his student. A student who is a grown adult who can make decisions for themselves. It's wrong.
So, what does he do?
He feels a migraine coming on, so he tries to busy himself with some emails, making sure deadlines and reports have been submitted. Luckily, the dean is giving him some time and isn't pressing him for answers right this second even though he knows it's on his mind. If he was, Namjoon wasn't sure what he'd say.
He's not sure how he'll get San out of this.
"Yo." San appears in his office, softly shutting the door behind him.
"Take a seat." San immediately picks up on the vibe in the room and how stressed Namjoon looks. He knows they still need to talk about things, but something tells San it's become much deeper than that and he's not prepared for it whatsoever. No matter how hard he tried to prepare, there's no proper way to be fully prepared.
"You okay?"
"Honestly, I don't know." He sits back a bit, hands clasped on the surface of the table. "But, I'm just gonna get right to it because I think this is way overdue."
"Okay." San manages to respond softly.
"We need to talk about what happened at the happy hour event the other day, plus that whole thing with Iseul and Yunho." Namjoon pauses before he cuts to the chase. "San, why do I keep getting wind of you being in a relationship with your rotation student?" Silence. "Y/N, to be exact." He looks at him. "Is that what the whole happy hour thing was about? Is that what you three were discussing in the conference room yesterday?" He sighs. "I was try to push this off a little longer until I could figure out how to get you out of this, but word keeps going around and it definitely didn't help that you three had a screaming match about it." San sighs heavily as he sinks into the chair.
"Well, as far as I know, I wasn't planning on discussing my personal matters with Yunho and Iseul. They trapped me into the fucking—"
"San." Namjoon stops him. "Is it a yes or no?" Pause. San just looks at Namjoon and it's enough for him to put the final piece together. Everything had been about you from the get-go, but San still won't say it. He's doing everything to protect you, but this might be it; there's no way he can lie to Namjoon about this, or hide this from him any longer.
It's far too late for that.
"San." He repeats. "This is not the time to try and lie to me. I had two people talk to me about it and an anonymous tip came in that was sent my way."
"Who?"
"It doesn't matter." Namjoon furrows his brows and lets out a heavy exhale. "I need the truth from you. Now." The exasperated sigh that leaves San's lips is full of emotions; fear, anxiety, protectiveness, even.
"I'm sorry." Is all San can respond with. It comes out low, barely above a whisper.
"Why?" Namjoon cocks his head to the side, hands on his hips. "Why? I just wanna know why!" His voice is harsh, but he keeps his tone low. "A student, your student? It's damn near everywhere, you know that, right? I don't know how I'm gonna fix this for you, but you know they'll take action against her and probably you—"
"Namjoon, please." San pleads. "Please don't do this to her. Don't take her out of the program. Do whatever you need to me, but don't take it out on her."
"San." Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose before letting out an exasperated sigh. "You should've known better." He looks at him, but San can't even respond. All he can do is shrug and shake his head because he did know better, he just didn't wanna do better and chose to be selfish. "I need to figure this out before end of the day and report back to the dean. I can't force you to act a certain way or do things you don't wanna do. But, for this reason in particular, I'm gonna need you two to stop. You're not interacting with her on campus, you're not going to be involved in anything having to do with her moving forward." Namjoon shakes his head. "You both couldn't wait until graduation or something? I know it's years ahead but you know how this looks—"
"I— no. Things just happened. That's really the only way I can explain it. I'm sorry. The hell am I supposed to do? I can't help but feel how I feel for her." Namjoon sighs heavily, feeling torn between wanting his friend to be happy, but concerned and disappointed for his colleague.
"That isn't gonna fly. You knew better than to get involved with a student in your lab. You can't just risk everything you've built for yourself, San. You have no idea how much trouble you could get into if the school finds out just exactly how deep your relationship has gotten with her— let alone, your own rotation student!" His tone slight rises, but it falls when he sees San visibly shrink and lose eye contact with him. He paces around for a bit, hands still on his hips as he tries to figure out a way to brush this over before it gets way too messy and complicated. "I get you. I do. You deserve to be happy, and who the hell am I to police your actions? But, I can't have you do this to yourself or her. The both of you are grown so I expected you to do better."
"So, what's gonna happen?"
"Well, I'll need to let them know this isn't true and that you two aren't in a relationship. I'll have to remove her from your lab and I'll need to figure out where I can place her or what I can do for her."
"They won't kick her out, right?"
"Honestly, I can't even be sure. I don't think so, but you two will definitely not be allowed to be near or around each other." Namjoon looks at him. "Are you not even worried about yourself?"
"No, I'm not."
"She's worth it to you?"
"More than anything." San says softly. "Look, it's cliché but you really don't understand." Namjoon shrugs.
"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I don't wanna take your happiness away, San. Believe me. That's the last thing I wanna do and this is already difficult as is. But, it just had to be her?"
"It did, yeah. And there's nothing I regret about it." Another small silence falls between them before Joon speaks up again.
"Do you get where people are taking this?"
"No, quite frankly, I don't."
"Favoritism, like you two are taking advantage of each other for benefits. It's becoming so noticeable that people are talking."
"You and I both know how great of a student she is. If she's received opportunities, it's because she earned them herself, not because of me."
"That's not how it looks. And perception matters. You know this. Relationships like this are literally a ticking time bomb for your career, the bioengineering department." He's gonna use the excuse that Iseul pulled because for him, as department chair, as someone who needs to keep the glue together for this department, it's true.
"I don't even see how we're doing anything wrong when we're both adults. She and I both know what this is—"
"That doesn't matter in this situation. There's a power dynamic here you can't ignore. Even if this is real, you hold her future in your hands. Do you understand?" Joon exhales, brows tightly knit together. "What about her fate in this whole situation? Do you care about that?"
"Of course I do. I care about her more than anything." San responds almost exasperatedly.
"Do you love her?"
"If I say yes?"
"Then, tell me. If you had to choose between your relationship or keeping her here, then what?" San sighs and runs his hand down his face. "Think about it. You deserve to be happy, but that girl also deserves a chance to keep going."
"Why can't we just keep it on the low, why do I have to choose? W-we can be more careful—"
"San, don't be stupid. I'm sure 'being careful' is how this all started, right?" Silence. "You know people are going to find out one way or another. It won't matter how real this is to you, to the both of you. She'll be branded as the professor's pet. Is that what you want for her? And you'll lose everything—your job, your reputation, ability to work at other institutions. Plus, the dean is still thinking about your program with Jongho and the real estate. This is going to trickle onto Jongho, too."
"No, of course not. And I don't want Jongho to take a fall because of me. But.." San sighs, his heart breaking the more this conversation goes on. He wasn't prepared to be here today, no. And he wasn't prepared for his mind to start thinking otherwise about your relationship, you. He was always sure of you, but now he's starting to feel like he's been too selfish;
Neglected you and your future plans. Your dreams, your goals.
"You're asking me to break this off. To break off my relationship with someone I truly care about and someone that genuinely makes me happy. Something I haven't felt in a long time."
"I'm sorry, San. I already told you how difficult this is, and it's not my intention to take your happiness away. I just need to protect you two from everyone, especially the dean. Please understand me and hear me. I'm asking you to protect her this way. If anything happens, it'll be the both of you going down and you know she doesn't deserve that either. "
"And If I don't do this?" San asks just to put the question out there.
"Then, can you call it love? Or is it just you being selfish?" San leans onto his knees, head falling into his hands. "I'm trying to come from a good place. Help me help you." He feels a headache coming on, thoughts running at a thousand miles per hour. He hates the thought of losing you; it makes him sick to his stomach. But, he can't even lie and say there isn't a piece of truth behind Namjoon's words.
Can San really say he loves you if he isn't doing the right thing for you? Is he being too selfish, assuming he could keep this on the low? Assuming he could be 'more' careful with you?
Is he selfish for wanting you by his side no matter what? Is he selfish for saying fuck it?
Is he selfish?
The last thing he wants to do is ruin your career, ruin you. Even if this will hurt like hell, he understands where Namjoon is coming from and knows he needs to put you first.
He's so conflicted. He has no idea what to do or how to move forward. Because as much as he knows he needs to do this for you and the sake of Namjoon, he doesn't want to.
He is scared.
"I need to head back to my office." San sighs and stands, but Namjoon follows closely.
"I don't have much time. I need to let them know that something is gonna be done and I need to prove it to them. You do hear me, right?"
"I do. I just.. give me a little bit of time to think, Joon. Please." Namjoon just nods, meeting San's expression. He feels bad, he really does. And as his friend, this isn't something he wants to do— but he has to. He could easily tell San to keep this on the low, to keep this a secret until things blow over but at some point, he doesn't trust himself to continue along with the story had anyone asked about it out of the blue.
Namjoon watches as San sadly walks off back to his office, eyes trained on the phone in his hand. San sees your texts, and usually, that'll be enough to put a smile on his face. He'll text back right away so you know he's been thinking about you; but today, he's thinking about you in a different light and he's not sure how to stomach it.
When he gets back to his office, he sees a few people from the lab lingering around— even you. You meet his eyes and his eyes meet yours, but he doesn't give you a smile.
His eyes don't glow like they used to.
His cheeks aren't threatening to glow that cute, rosy tint they do when you're around.
He just steps in without doing anything to acknowledge your presence and that already feels way off.
you: 😞 you didn't even look my way when you walked back into the office and i haven't heard from you all day.
you: i hate how all my papers and presentations are due this week. plus ppl have been weird, idk. i just wanna cuddle 😭
san: i'm sorry. it's just been a day.
you: that's never stopped you before... ☹️ what's wrong, san?
san: we should talk, baby.
—read 12.5 here
—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated
#san fanfic#san series#choi san series#choi san fanfic#san#ateez#choi san#san x reader#ateez x reader#kpop imagines#kpop#kpop smut#san x y/n#choi san x y/n#san angst#san fluff#san smut#choi san angst#choi san fluff#choi san smut#ateez angst#ateez fluff#ateez smut#hwaslayer: wildfire
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HI I’M BACK AND I FINISHED SEASON 3 AND I HAVE THOUGHTS™️
Newsreader spoilers under the cut
Okay first: THE NEWSREADER IS ONE OF THE GREATEST TREASURES TO GRACE TELEVISION AND IT DELIVERED ON EVERYTHING
ANYWAY…
The open ending as far as Helen and Dale goes—my shipper heart is a little sad we didn’t get a more explicitly romantic ending for them BUT these two have so much healing to do, and it starts with being exactly where they are. Finding peace and happiness as individuals before they give themselves to any relationship. And I think, no matter what any fan was hoping for, they can take this ending and decide how it goes for them. (Also the loving way Helen spoke to him and looked at him while she was talking to him off air. 🥹) They’re both exactly where they need to be and in their element, and that’s what the audience has been rooting for since day one.
THE PARALLELS AND CONNECTIONS TO THE FIRST EPISODE IN THE LAST ONE. Dale singing Kyrie in the car. Helen taking Dale home and talking care of him and “coming up with a plan.” Fucking brilliant.
Helen’s journey this whole season—getting a diagnosis and coming to grips with it. Being resistant at first but coming around and COMMITTING to getting better even when it’s hard and she hates it—frickin’ facing the place where she was locked up and endured additional trauma. She truly came into her own, and I’m just continuously blown away by Anna Torv and how, in every single project she does, she puts so much care and thoughtfulness into how she portrays her characters and the difficult situations they face. And she’s just a fucking incredible actress. THE SCENE IN 3.03 AFTER SHE GOT HER DIAGNOSIS AND CALLED DALE BROKE ME. I don’t think anyone else could have portrayed Helen. I just don’t. And Helen’s arc was all the more satisfying because the writers/creators decided to trust their talent and make her just as much a part of the creative process.
And Dale…oh my boy Dale. Sam frickin’ Reid the actor you are. Dale’s character arc has to be one of the most intense and challenging I’ve ever seen on TV, and Sam probably had the hardest job. Dale’s breakdown? OH MY GOD. We always knew Dale needed to break. He would have to be driven to the brink to be human again. And, just like with Anna as Helen, there was no one more qualified to bring Dale Jennings to life. Holy shit. Incredible, meaty, deep storytelling happens when you have creatives with a vision and actors they’re on the same page with. Sam got it from day one, and he saw it through to the end.
But Helen and Dale, stars of the show they are, are not the only incredible arcs we got to see. THE SATISFACTION OF WATCHING LINDSAY CUNNINGHAM GET KICKED OUT ON HIS ASS AND DENNIS SITTING IN HIS SEAT. The stuff of legends. And not just Dennis getting his moment (which we absolutely saw coming after he clocked Lindsay last season), but JEAN FUCKING PASCOE yelling at him from across the newsroom. I clapped. I cheered. And you know, I even cheered a bit for Evelyn Walters in all of it. She’s out for herself and still doesn’t get it (and Geoff was far from a victim), but she stood when it counted. She took action on one good thing. And watching them all collectively work together to get Lindsay what he deserved? Delicious.
And then we’ve got my girl Noelene who also went through The Most™️ oh… She’s got so much to figure out about standing up for herself and what she wants, and Rob’s got so much growing to do to be a better husband and father. But she did stand up for herself. She stopped being afraid to tell people how she felt and what she needed. She called Rob out on his racist tendencies and opened up to him about her work/motherhood balance, and she called out Helen for using her like everyone else and overworking her, and they both listened. She has hope ahead of her, and it was beautiful to see.
A few other small notes:
The whole Dale/Kay dynamic was so strange, but it needed to happen. Her constant comparisons of him and Geoff helped fuel his necessary fall. And it served to show what a terrible place Dale was in.
Cheryl got married!!! Good for her 🩷
Fuck Bill, and congrats to Helen for being like “I’m not gonna be punished because I didn’t wanna fuck you”
Tim gets a well deserved love and happy ending!!!
I’m really happy they brought back Linus. What a treasure.
Overall, as sad as I am to see this show go, they delivered on all counts. Everything they said they would be, they were. Every arc, satisfying. Just so beautifully and masterfully done, and with love by everyone involved. 18 episodes of perfection. And if Michael Lucas and Emma Freeman ever produce another show together and hire Anna Torv and/or Sam Reid or any of the wonderful-across-the-board cast? I will get my VPN’s worth as an American and be there for it.
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Being Best Friends with I.N:
Being best friends with I.N would be a unique, fun, and fulfilling experience. I.N is the youngest member of Stray Kids, but his maturity, kindness, and sweet demeanor make him feel older than his age. As his best friend, you’d share a bond built on trust, laughter, and a deep understanding of each other’s quirks and personalities.
First Impressions:
When you first meet I.N, you might notice that he comes off as a little shy but incredibly warm. His gentle smile and his soft, kind-hearted energy instantly put you at ease. He’s not the type to flaunt attention, but when he talks to you, it’s as if the world slows down and everything feels right. Despite being part of one of the most successful K-pop groups, he has an unassuming charm that makes you feel like you’ve known him forever, even if you’re just meeting.
You’d quickly notice his love for comfort, whether it’s cozy blankets, snacks, or the latest animated series he’s watching. As a best friend, you’d probably share many quiet afternoons together, whether it’s chatting about life or just watching your favorite shows. He has this adorable habit of getting invested in things like anime or video games, which you’d likely join him in his excitement is infectious.
The Supportive Friend:
I.N is the type of person who listens with an open heart. If you’re having a tough day, he would drop everything to offer a kind word or a comforting smile. He has an innate ability to make you feel seen and understood without judgment. He’d never push you to talk about something you’re not ready to, but when you do, you’ll realize how great of a listener he is.
He’s the kind of friend who will send you random messages of encouragement, or little voice notes reminding you that you’re doing great. He’d make you laugh with his awkward, goofy, and playful personality. And when you’re feeling insecure, he would be the first to remind you of your worth in the most genuine way.
He’s also surprisingly observant. He’d notice the smallest changes in your mood or demeanor and would always ask if you’re okay, offering words of comfort when needed. His genuine care for the people around him makes him an amazing friend to have in your corner.
The Hilarious, Quirky Side:
I.N’s playful side would bring so much fun to your friendship. He’s always up for a good laugh, and his silly antics will never fail to brighten your day. He has this infectious sense of humor whether he’s impersonating his group members, pulling little pranks, or making funny faces during videos, he knows how to make everyone laugh.
Imagine playing video games together or having an impromptu dance-off in the living room. When I.N gets excited, his energy becomes contagious, and you can’t help but get swept up in his enthusiasm. Whether you’re playing games, cooking together, or just hanging out, there’s never a dull moment.
And then there are those moments where he’s just being his awkward, shy self, which is honestly one of the most endearing things about him. If you ever make him embarrassed, he’ll turn the cutest shade of pink, trying to play it cool but clearly flustered. It’s those small, innocent moments that make him so lovable.
Shared Moments of Growth:
Though he’s young, I.N is incredibly mature and thoughtful. As his best friend, you’d get to witness his growth not only as an artist but as a person. He’s constantly evolving, both personally and professionally, and being by his side means sharing in his successes and challenges.
When Stray Kids face tough times, I.N would open up to you, trusting you with his thoughts and feelings. You’d see him working hard to improve his craft whether it’s learning new skills or pushing himself further in his performances. During those times, you’d be there to remind him of how far he’s come and how proud everyone is of him.
You’d also encourage him in his personal endeavors, like his love for music, his passion for photography, or anything else he’s into. He has this quiet determination, and you’d admire that about him as you watched him grow into an even more accomplished person. There’s no doubt he’d be your biggest cheerleader as well, always supporting your dreams and offering encouragement every step of the way.
The Trustworthy Confidant:
Being best friends with I.N means having someone you can turn to for advice and support, no matter the situation. He’s the type of person who would never betray your trust. If something was bothering you, you’d know you could confide in him without fear of judgment or secrecy being broken. He’d listen with care and offer perspective that comes from his genuine desire to help.
As someone who values his friendships deeply, he’d always make sure you feel appreciated. Whether it’s remembering small details about your preferences or surprising you with something that made him think of you, I.N makes you feel special in the most understated ways.
You’d also be there for him when he’s feeling down or needs advice. He may be the youngest member of Stray Kids, but he’s incredibly wise for his age. There’s something incredibly comforting about the way he approaches difficult situations he’s grounded, mature, and always thinking of others.
Adventures Together:
As best friends, you’d share many adventures, whether it’s traveling to different cities together, attending Stray Kids concerts, or simply exploring hidden gems in Korea. I.N loves trying new things, whether it’s food, experiences, or activities. You’d go on trips with him, and he’d always find something fun or quirky to do that would make the day memorable.
He’s the type to appreciate the little moments like stopping for a coffee at a cute café, sharing inside jokes while people-watching, or just taking spontaneous walks through the city. He’d make every moment feel like an adventure, and you’d find that the best memories come from the simple things.
A Lifelong Friendship:
In the end, being best friends with I.N would be a lifelong treasure. He’s someone who makes life better with his kindness, humor, and genuine care. Even though he’s a celebrity, he’d treat your friendship like a priority, ensuring that you always feel valued, respected, and loved.
As you both continue to grow, this friendship would evolve, but the core of it would always remain the same: an unwavering bond of trust, laughter, and support. You’d know that no matter what happens, you’d always have I.N by your side, and he’d have you too through all the challenges, celebrations, and ordinary moments in life.
#stray kids headcanons#stray kids comfort#stray kids fluff#stray kids#stray kids i.n#i.n#i.n stray kids#i.n skz#i.n x reader#skz headcanons#Skz#Skz I.n#yang jeongin fluff#yang jeongin x reader#stray kids yang jeongin#skz yang jeongin
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my copy of judgement lookin kinda crazy yall ngl
#snap chats#CRYING AT THIS#that IS takuya kimura im not just being delirious and he IS playing a prosecutor in this movie. also tsutsumi's in the back hiiii#anyway hi i just watched Hero SP :)#i tried to find Princess Toyotomi but it wasnt available on any of the sites i checked#that being said im really glad i was able to watch this movie tho !!#shit had me CACKLING#ALSO SURPRISE STAR HARUKA AYASE???? i love her...#AAND NAOKO IIJIMA ??????#my fuckin ja dropped i loved her in kinpika...#but yeah i loved the movie- it wasnt only funny at times but it was genuinely engaging#even if i already suspected why takita committed murder it was still great watching everything go down#and it was great watching everyone interact and to see tsugaru and izumitani become more engrossed with their work#seeing tsutsumi in that fuckin fishin gear had me crying tho just the harsh cut to it#CHRIST. dont even get me started on the implication tsugaru has five of the same suit and tie at home#like bro 😭😭#NAKAI WAS LOVELY he wasnt super in the movie but the whole confession scene had me weak brothers#that was a great scene.... everything was great UGH i love crime movies#just watching everything come together and seeing everyone work so hard#such a good movie tysm tenno for telling me about it#OK I HAVE TO GO THO I HAVE TO DRIVE HOME AND ITS DARK WEEHHHHHHH#i see the asks in my inbox and id love to sit and talk- esp bout this movie-#but i really gotta go. ill get to the asks later#for now bye byeee
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pertaining to the idea of tenax’s band of strays i do think it’s touching that the kids are the ones who saved him and waited outside the door to make sure he’s okay. for all tenax claims to be harsh and cruel it’s a fine indicator of his character that the kids won’t rest without him and are there every time he’s in danger.
#AND I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE I HAD THEM STEALING THEIR WAY OMTO#THE PLATFORMS WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNNNN oh i love being right#also that all the kids are there watching when he kills the guy whose name i forget because i simply cannot hold names in my brain but the#evil one. who i was like oh thank GOD he died i was so sick of this plot he kept killing everyone & i screeched when he almost got claudia#something something calla saying ‘you’re not a child anymore’ about tenax’s cruelty to the brothers (which in my twisted narratives. sorry.#there’s only one scorpus who KNEW the child tenax was. the child he’s still healing and caring for. all of the children whose eyes he looks#into and sees a hurt that’s just like his? the children tenax saved whether he’ll admit it or not? scorpus saved him. and that’s all)#(also this is a terrible thing to say i knew it about but like. oh i knew it about the master of the house. tenax making sure NO ONE#touches the kids or does anything with them really but Claudia and him—the people he trusts which also now includes calla but he makes sure#it’s someone he knows. also do we have a claudia backstory??? or would i just get to invent a reason why she’s there and what she’s doing#and why she’s so loyal to tenax. did she also see the child he was and that’s why she’s so protective of him but also why she gets along#with calla so well because the two of them see how he’s festered in that. like calla fully has the rights here i think she should rip him a#new one for his lack of decency and good qualities he can be corrupt without being cruel y’know. and he should be called out on his#peter pan ass behavior you’re not a child!! there are such consequences!!! dream a little bigger a little kinder!!! change the dream you#made up with scorpus when you were a young angry teenager and make it fit who you are NOW. the life you want NOW not the life you thought#you should have & deserved. what did you learn from growing up. what changed. what do you need now & what do you want. not the same things#and i too wish that this was 30k and covered their entire backstory#BUT IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION of i also need it to be 100k canon-divergent (presumably. i’m only through episode eight. but i can’t imagine#that they will follow the plot EYE would write because they need to have a second season & you can’t have that without conflict which means#titus overthrown scorpus is gonna die metaphorically or literally etc etc the gold faction in shambles but technically triumphant with#domitian on the throne and tenax in a position of patrician power accepted into their society but still not equal and happy. whereas lmao#domitian you’re getting shipped off to some other city because your plot to overthrow titus failed and yet he is merciful enough he won’t#kill you he just sends you and hermes together (at which point over the months long journey you forgive and re-learn each other bc titus#didn’t know of the betrayal he thought it would be kind to send your (ex-)lover with you. do we see how this works perfectly) & tenax falls#back into the underworld where he now knows he belongs because blood is everything except when it isn’t. when he realizes what he has is#worth more. no matter if the blood he has is tainted or patrician the blood oath he swore with scorpus iron on their tongues means more.#calla’s split lip defending him and their winnings. kwaame’s blood on the hard packed sand of the arena fighting to stay alive and to come#home to them. the fire in aura’s cheeks when she laughs at ivy. SURPRISEEEE EVERY NARRATIVE IS A FOUND FAMILY I GUESS IT SPRUNG ON ME TOO.#and tenax doesn’t mind a little dirt and bribery every now and then. doesn’t aspire to former heights and shining brilliant out of shadows.#the gaudiness of gold &flash of fools’ dreams. YES CAN I FINALLY PLS GET MY BLACK FACTION TO REPLACE THE ILL-FATED GOLD THATLL COLLAPSE W/D
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Pleaseeee can you fo more homicipher reaction to mc who is very cheerful in every situation like shes either giggling or smiling, she's so unserious and oblivious af too.
⊱ Homicipher Characters’ Reactions to an MC Who Is Cheerful and Oblivious ⊰ || Multiple Character Headcanons
╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮ Character(s): Mr. Crawling, Mr. Chopped, Mr. Machete, Mr. Hood, Mr. Scarletella (Homicipher/文字化化) Reader Type: Human (Gender-Neutral Pronouns) Warning(s): Minor Spoilers for Homicipher (Mr. Scarletella’s Part), Minor Canon-typical Mentions of Violence. Genre: Headcanons, Fluff, Romantic or Platonic Relationship (It’s Complicated, honestly). Word Count: ~2,100 words. Request: “Pleaseeee can you fo more homicipher reaction to mc who is very cheerful in every situation like shes either giggling or smiling, she's so unserious and oblivious af too.” Author’s Note: This was such a fun request to think about since a human like this existing within the other world would pretty much be a living, walking target – like, you’d probably be dead so quickly if you were oblivious or naïve or too trusting (like me when I first played through the game and was smiling every time a hot monster man talked to me 😭). Since you didn’t specify any characters, I just picked a handful that I thought would have varying reactions to the type of reader you requested. I hope you enjoy!
→ If you enjoyed my work, please reblog it if you can! Exposure on Tumblr is based on reblogging content rather than liking it, so your support would be much appreciated! ♡
╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯
👣: Mr. Crawling loves your cheerful and friendly personality, finding it a breath of fresh air within the other world. It draws him to you even more, like a moth to a bright flame. He likes how you sometimes just randomly giggle or laugh. He does it, too, so it’s nice to meet someone so similar to him! He definitely feels this sense of kinship with you when he notices all the similarities you two share. Mr. Crawling does everything in his power to keep you safe, wanting to protect you from everything or everyone attempting to harm you in the hopes you don’t lose that sparkle – that light within you.
👣: He’s already very protective of you, and your obliviousness to the other world and its residents makes that feeling even stronger. He is aware that your friendly and trusting nature will be taken advantage of in the world he calls his home, so he somehow manages to take a more proactive role when it comes to keeping you safe… if that was even possible (it’s ON SITE if he sees Mr. Stitch near you. Mr. Crawling knows how that particular resident acts, and he would prefer not to have him kidnap or try to eat you…).
👣: Whenever you laugh, he also laughs – you do the same thing with him, too, so you both kind of bounce off of each other and act like the other’s personal echo. Any other resident who sees the two of you kind of thinks you have a few screws loose, watching from afar while you both just randomly laugh together without a care in the world. Honestly, Mr. Crawling thinks it’s nice to be able to laugh with someone else like this.
👣: Overall, your personality manages to make him love you even more (if that was even possible). Mr. Crawling does everything in his power to make sure you never stop smiling, never once making you feel like you’re not supposed to laugh even if it may not be seen as appropriate in the situation. He doesn’t care that sometimes your obliviousness results in both of you finding yourselves between a rock and a hard place. He will be there by your side until the day you tell him to leave – his love for you is unconditional, and that’s just a fact no matter what kind of person you are.
🗣️: Much like Mr. Crawling, Mr. Chopped also finds himself immensely endeared to you and your personality. He loves how happy you are all the time, and he finds his mood improving whenever you’re around, too! It’s wonderful to have someone like you around, someone who is always so cheerful and upbeat, especially considering the place you have found yourself trapped in. He appreciates it – appreciates you, as a whole – but that doesn’t mean he has no reservations about your personality…
🗣️: His anxiety spikes whenever he thinks too much about what you were potentially getting up to whenever he wasn’t around, worried about you getting taken advantage of or giggling at the wrong question and ending up injured, or worse, dead. He really enjoys spending time with you, you’re like a ray of sunlight in such a dark place, and the thought of that being gone after having just experienced it is… quite an unpleasant thought (he doesn’t know what sunlight is, but he can vaguely remember a yellow warmth from a time long forgotten that you remind him of). If he had a body, he’d probably be ripping his beloved hair out just because of how oblivious you can be.
🗣️: Mr. Chopped is definitely the type to just start scolding you point-blank, telling you that you need to be more careful – his beautiful hair is going to turn grey at this point with how often he worries about you! Please don’t make him worry… It’s not good for his metaphorical heart. He even lectures you about how he typically tells the difference between people he can trust (like you, Mr. Silvair, the Hairdresser) versus people he knows he can’t trust (like the Hooded Child or Mr. Stitch) in the hopes it will have you thinking about your safety more.
🗣️: Sometimes he feels a sense of helplessness whenever he thinks about you and the fact he can’t do anything to keep you safe; it’s something he opens up about to Mr. Silvair whenever you’re not around. Mr. Chopped finds himself wishing that he had a body, even though you had assured him he was perfectly fine in your eyes without one. He just wants to help and protect you the way that others you knew were capable of doing. Whenever you sense he’s feeling down, though, your bright smile is enough to wash away his worries about your well-being, even if only for a moment.
🔪: Doesn’t understand why you’re so chipper all the time. Honestly, I feel like Mr. Machete would find it annoying, the fact you’re always smiling or giggling at one thing or another. He’ll purposefully chuck his sword at you in the hopes that it will scare you, make you wipe that stupid smile off your face, but it never does… It falters a bit, sure, but it never fully goes away, and that just pisses him off more.
🔪: He kind of makes it his mission to try and break you, to see how or what he can do to finally make you get angry or upset. After all, you never really fight back when he tries to start things with you, and that’s boring. He wants you to get frustrated at him, wants to see you throw a punch or try to hit him after another attempt at making your smile disappear, yet you never do. You remain smiling, and you’re oh-so blinding whenever you do, and he hates it. He hates you (or does he? He isn’t even sure himself… emotions are too complicated).
🔪: Overall, Mr. Machete has mixed feelings toward you. He can respect the strength it takes to keep a smile on your face, to remain positive and happy in a place filled to the brim with violence and death… That doesn’t mean he likes it, though, hearing your laughter whenever he does something you find endearing or if you see something you find amusing. It’s a sound that's headache-inducing, yet it also makes him want to pick you up and squeeze you (I’m a firm believer that he would have cuteness aggression). He has a love-hate relationship with you.
🔪: Mr. Machete also finds himself fed up with your obliviousness and naïvety, especially regarding other residents. He’s getting sick and tired of you finding yourself in trouble and, when it finally sets in you’re in danger, you call to him for help. Why the hell are you calling for him? You got yourself into this mess, and you’ll figure out a way to get out of it… Well, that’s what he says, but he usually takes care of whatever resident you found yourself in a conflict with, or he tosses you effortlessly over one shoulder and absconds if he doesn’t think it’s a fight he can win (don’t ask him why he even bothers saving you – he doesn’t know the answer, either).
🪓: Your cheerful and peppy attitude, the way you’re always smiling brightly and warmly at everyone you meet, makes Mr. Hood feel both endeared to you and worried about you. You do realize you just agreed to give that resident your heart, right? If he wasn’t here, you most certainly would have died, and that’s not exactly a thought he wants to entertain. He felt protective over you since the first moment you met, and that feeling had not died down once (even if looking after you had made him feel like he’d aged a century).
🪓: Always places himself between you and other residents when you attempt to communicate with them, using himself as a shield just in case you accidentally agree to something absurd or laugh at the wrong thing. Mr. Hood really shifts into teaching mode after cases like these, making sure you know exactly what certain words mean and when not to laugh, smile, or blindly agree to things. Honestly, if you were oblivious and overly trusting, he would feel it was his duty to stay by your side at all times and would be worried about what would happen if he left you alone.
🪓: However, despite the persisting feeling of worry your personality and some of your traits bring him when watching you interacting with most of the other residents, he can’t help but enjoy your presence. It’s new, and he surprisingly likes hearing the sound of your laughter. He finds your personality and behaviors to be cute, even though they bring you trouble more often than not. Most of the time, sometimes unconsciously, Mr. Hood finds himself resting his hand on the top of your head, patting it softly whenever you look up and smile at him so brightly.
🪓: Mr. Hood, despite finding that your obliviousness and your inability to take most things seriously typically ends up with you winding up in troublesome situations that could have been easily avoided, he still wouldn’t change a single thing about you (he has no problem staining his hands with more blood to keep you safe – killing residents while protecting you at the same time is something he’s good at, after all). Your smile is just too bright, your laugh almost infectious, and all he wants to do is make sure it never fades. He feels a strange ache in his chest whenever you take his hands into yours and tug him along, laughing all the way. He doesn’t understand it, but he also doesn’t have the desire to understand it, either.
🩸: Your personality intrigues him, and he finds himself desiring to know what you’re thinking about. What makes you so happy? How can you continue to travel through the other world, facing one traumatic event after another, with a smile constantly plastered on your face? A person like you is new to Mr. Scarletella, and he wants to be around you more. He wants to figure out how he can be the person making you smile and laugh in such a way – he wants to be able to bathe in the warmth and brightness your aura radiates.
🩸: Mr. Scarletella doesn’t make his presence known most of the time throughout your journey, but he watches you from afar, keeping an eye on you. However, if he does need to step in to keep you from harm, he will. Your reaction to him is unlike anyone else he's met, though. Most people who saw the man with the red umbrella would scream and run the other way, terrified of the story that was intertwined with his existence, but you didn’t. Honestly, it makes him want you more – you’re new, you’re different – and he likes it… likes you. There’s something about the sound of your laughter and your happy-go-lucky nature that makes him feel alive, in a way.
🩸: However, because of your obliviousness and naïvety, when he asks for your name and you just give it to him without a second thought… well, it makes his goal a lot easier. If I’m being 100% honest, being oblivious or overly trusting around Mr. Scarletella is not a good mix. Because he finds you interesting and different from other humans he’s seen before, he’s pleased that you’re his now – heart, body, and soul. You forget everything about yourself after, though, and he doesn’t find you as appealing as he once did (he low-key kind of regrets asking for your name).
🩸: For feel-good purposes, though, we’ll just ignore the last point and continue with the fluff… So, overall, Mr. Scarletella would find you fascinating and would find himself wanting to be near you in any capacity, whether it be as your master or your servant, he wouldn’t care so long as he got to be with you. He honestly wonders how you’ve managed to live for as long as you have considering your general attitude towards most things, but he’s glad that you did. Being with you makes his lungs feel like they’re full of fresh air, and he gets a pleasant tingling sensation in his body whenever he hears your laughter echo through the dilapidated hallways of the other world.
#🌸 . plum writes#homicipher#文字化化#homicipher x reader#homicipher x you#mr crawling#mr chopped#mr machete#mr hood#mr scarletella#mr crawling x reader#mr crawling x you#mr chopped x reader#mr machete x reader#mr machete x you#mr hood x reader#mr scarletella x reader#mr scarletella x you#homicipher imagines#homicipher headcanons#imagines#headcanons#fluff
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COSTUME s.winchester
𝜗𝜚 WORD COUNT - 3.4K
SAM WINCHESTER X FEM!READER
𝜗𝜚 A/N - this is my first ever time writing about sucking dick, please be nice to me, i'll cry.
𝜗𝜚 SUMMARY - you had to dress up as an FBI agent with the winchester brothers. you felt stupid in a costume but luckily for you, sam really liked seeing you in a skirt.
𝜗𝜚 WARNINGS - smut, dom!sam, sub!reader, oral(s!rec), no p!v sex, size kink, praise kink, fingering, slight manipulation, reader lowk flexible, cum eating, messy sex, squirting, (1) use of y/n, petnames, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷
"come on, y/n, we gotta go!" you heard dean's not so gentle knock against the bathroom door as you slipped on your last mary jane shoe.
you weren't usually chosen for tasks like this.
usually, it was the winchester boys that did all this kind of thing, you know, fraud? you were usually just the researcher, sitting in the motel room as back up, with a laptop perched on your lap or sitting in baby, the key inside and waiting to be their getaway car.
you weren't really hands on when it came to being a hunter.
you never really had to go out into the real world for much. but this particular demon was snatching girls, twenty something year old girls about your age and appearance. the brothers thought it would be best if another girl accompanied them when investigating the missing girls' roomates and not two six-foot men dressed in suits.
dean's head turned as the creaky bathroom door opened. "I feel stupid."
his eyebrows raised to the tips of his forehead, a look of shock passing over him as he cleared his throat with a breathy laugh. "wait 'til sammy sees you." you just gave him a confused look before grabbing the pretty pink purse that sat on the bed. "aah-ah." you look up at dean confused. "kind of ruins the whole FBI vibe, don't you think?"
you eyed the purse in your hands.
it was a little bag, hardly able to hold anything other than your phone and your lipgloss, not that you ever had to worry about holding your wallet when you had the boys around but nonetheless, a card was wedged in there too.
it was pink with darker pink flowers on it and a ribbon attached to the strap. sam had gotten it for you after a case that you worked particularly hard on.
but dean was right, it didn't fit the whole 'FBI vibe' so you sighed and placed it back on the bed, passing the man an unhappy glance.
sam was outside, sitting in the passenger seat of the infamous impala named 'baby' by dean. he'd packed and started the car, waiting for the two of you when you caught his eye.
or should he say, your outfit.
you often wore pretty little sundresses or blouses and skirts paired together with a pretty cardigan drawn over you. but this? This seemed awfully different to your usual attire.
the white blouse was a little too low for comfort and he could tell by the way you were pulling it up over your cleavage that you agreed. your black pencil skirt was high, too high with a pair of long black stockings that stopped just above your knees paired with the infamous mary janes that you wore with almost everything.
sam was staring.
"what are you wearing?" was the first thing he asked when you and dean got into the car. "what is she wearing?" he turned back to dean.
you owned the stockings and the mary janes before hand but the rest of the outfit? it'd been dean's job to pick it out (which was no wonder you looked like... that.) "dude, she has to play the part."
"yeah of an FBI agent not some sexy stripper cop." sam spoke, exasperated.
"thank you!" you beamed from the back seat before your eyes furrowed. perhaps your boyfriend hadn't been complimenting you at all.
sam passed you a glance through the mirror but was more focused on blaming his brother. how could he let you go out looking like that for everyone to see? how could he make sam watch you while his pants tightened and his bulge was on show?
you thought the interviews went smoothly. you sat down with most of the women. the college women who's roomates had gone missing. dean was too busy fraternizing with the college girls to care about the case anymore and sam... well sam had seemed a little distracted from the beginning.
he couldn't rip his eyes away from you. you sat so perfectly, pieces of hair falling into your face as you nodded and sympathised with the women, asking them questions and jotting down notes onto a little notepad you had found in the backseat of baby.
sam was staring at you, at the way he could see the outline of your boobs down your shirt or the way your plush thighs protruded from the fabric of your stockings.
he was in awe.
it was hard to focus on anything other than you, which is why he had to excuse himself to talk to the headmaster instead of being stuck in a room with you, too close.
he was your boyfriend, it wasn't as if you hadn't done things with him before. on the contrary, you did... many things with sam before. but this was borderline unprofessional, the way he let his thoughts run.
he could imagine sliding his hands beneath your skirt or listening to your little gasps when he touched your skin, barely grazing it. you were so easily led like that, so audible and obedient. he could imagine unbuttoning your shirt slowly, with you sat on his lap while whines fell from your lips, whimpers following shortly after.
he needed to stop thinking.
or better yet, he needed to fuck you until the thoughts stopped.
dean decided he was going to check out the last spot that the college girl had been taken, assuring you both that he wouldn't be back before dinner. but the wink he shot his younger brother told him that he was merely giving you both alone time because he was no stranger to the look in sam's eyes.
and this was when sam got selfish.
honestly, the motel wasn't that far from the college so you and sam opted to walk back. the air turned brisk and for a split second, sam was about to offer you his jacket, the way he always would.
he thought it was rather adorable, watching the way you nuzzled into the jacket that was far too big for your frame. he was six foot five after all, you drowned in anything he let you wear.
but he found himself feeling selfish. he selfishly liked the way your perky breasts looked in that pretty blouse and the way your plush thighs could be seen peeking out from between the skirt and the stockings. he couldn't stop looking, couldn't tear his eyes away and stop his imagination from roaming.
so he let you walk back to the hotel, keeping a slight distance behind you so he could watch your body as he pleased, the only sound between you two being the click-clop of your mary jane heels as you walked home.
when you finally got inside, you felt yourself sigh in thought.
sam had been acting awfully quiet since you'd left and you'd begun to worry that you'd done something to upset him.
perhaps the outfit was too revealing, perhaps he wasn't okay with it.
you turned, an apology already on the tip of your lips. "sam―"
before you could utter the words, sam had grabbed you. his lips pushed into your own, a kiss filled with no passion or love, you could taste nothing aside from thick hunger, half a growl from inside his throat.
you whimpered into the kiss, taken by surprise. you felt him grab at you, one hand slid up your back, the other grabbing the back of your head and a fistful of hair along with it. again, a noise escaped you while sam was mindlessly kicking off his shoes, guiding you towards the bed.
to say you were surprised was saying the least, you hadn't expected this.
when he sat you gently against the bed, he finally broke the kiss. you looked up at him with glassy eyes and swollen lips while he tugged his suit jacket off, not bothering to take off his tie completely but only loosen it so it didn't hang so close to his neck. perhaps now he could finally breathe.
your eyes followed him curiously as he bent down, eyes never leaving yours while you stayed sitting on the mattress. you felt his hands pawing at your legs, slipping your mary janes from your feet. his hands gently rubbed at your sock-covered feet, a little reminder of his gentleness, despite the roughness he was suddenly using on you.
his fingers trailed upwards, following the little sewing thread between the fabric of your stockings. when his hands reached the top, he snapped the fabric back, leaving it snap against your thighs. "you're keeping these on." he uttered, he didn't sound like he normally did. he sounded as if he were pent up, desperate for relief. and he was.
you just couldn't seem to understand why.
"sam, why are you―"
you were cut off. "you're jus' so pretty all dressed up, honey." sam was towering over you as he stood, his large hand falling on your face, practically taking up a whole cheek as he cupped it. "'n i was hard all day thinkin' about this. you do wanna make me feel good, don't you, sweetheart?"
he watched as your eyes seemingly got rounder. "i wanna make you feel good, sammy." you caught your bottom lip between your top teeth and he could tell you were being honest, so honest.
willing to do anything to make him feel good, his sweet sweet girl. he would have cooed at you had he not been busy using his thumb to pull your bottom lip from beneath your top teeth. "don't do that, baby." he watched as you nodded silently. "good girl, i'll give you something to wrap those pretty lips around, don't worry."
he could see your face slowly building a flush, that kind of blush that had him reeling. he liked when he got you like this, all flustered and squirming. which you were, squirming in your seat with your thighs pushing together.
sam was well aware that if he were to reach up your skirt now, he would find a little wet circle sitting on your satin panties.
but instead, he used his hands to pull his own trousers from him. they were sitting tightly on his hips and when he finally pulled them down, you could see his bulge sticking out from his black boxers.
you gulped, hands playing together in your lap. you wanted to look back up at sam but you couldn't seem to tear your eyes away from him, too engrossed by his dick to think of anything else.
"'s how i felt all day, sweetheart." his voice was a whisper now. "you were teasin' me 'n i couldn't do anything about it. do you know how mean that is?"
your eyes snapped up to his, filling with this red glassiness. "w-what?" you didn't want to be mean to sam. he was so good to you, always making you feel good, you wanted nothing more than to be good to him. "'m sorry sammy, 'm really sorry."
"awh, i know, baby." his thumb swiped against your cheek, playing around with your face as if you were dough, thumb dragging across your bottom lip. "you just wanna be my good girl, yeah?"
you nodded quickly. "mmhm, wanna be your good girl, sammy, 'm sorry. 'm really sorry."
"i don't know, you were very bad today." his constant teasing as only making your panties wetter, that tone he was using on you, the one that he knew got you all flustered. "if i give you a second chance, are you gonna be good?"
"uh-huh, 'be so good, sammy, i promise. please, ill be good." you were begging now, eyes as big as saucers and lips wet.
he didn't bother pretending to think about it, he just leaned down, so far that his face was in line with yours, lips against your ear as he softly whispered the words, "then get onto your knee's 'n show me."
when sam winchester told you to do something, you did it, no questions asked.
you'd touched him like this many times before, you on your hands and knees on the mattress while he stood on the ground. he thought it was the most comfortable spot for the both of you, seeing as he was so big.
you did as you were told, moving so you were on your hands and knees against the mattress. your hands moved up to his waist, eyes snapping to his. he watched you intently as you brought your lips to his clothed cock, pressing a pretty kiss against it before using your fingers to pull down his underwear.
you did it without fail every single time.
every time he had you on your knees with his cock in your mouth, you started off with that pretty kiss to his boxers. there was something sickly sweet about it that had his eyes already rolling backwards. it was almost an innocent and naive act of love towards him, laced with lust.
you were on just your knees now, pushing his boxers down with no help from him. his dick sprung free and you could see an idle line of precum dripping down his shaft. instinctively, your hand moved up, thumb swiping the precum and smoothing it over the head of his dick. the act alone caused a grunt to leave his lips.
as pretty as you looked, all curious and ready to take your time, sam simply wasn't having it tonight.
he was too pent up from your silly outfit and his own mindless thoughts that he couldn't help it.
his hand fell to the side of your head, cupping it as he guided it forward. you knew what he was asking and you wasted no time in sticking out your tongue and licking a kitten lick up his shaft.
"fuck," fell from his lips. "good girl." mumbling as your tongue swirled over his head and your mouth wrapped around his dick. sam was a huge man and his dick was no exception to that. he was huge, too big to fit in your mouth but you pushed him in anyway, only covering a little more than half.
sam knew he was big too, he couldn't help the quirk of his lips as he looked down at you, struggling to fit his size into your mouth. his hand slowly guided your head further onto his cock, letting your lips wrap around him completely, your saliva coating him. it wasn't until you gagged that he knew this was as far as you could go.
so he pushed you a little further, anyway.
you brought your head back out then in again, bobbing it as you tongue swirled against him. you were no stranger to sucking sam off but every time you did it, you found yourself getting nervous. you wanted to be good for him and you were doing your upmost best.
his pretty thing.
"fuck, baby, you're doin' so good f'me." and sam knew exactly what effect his words would have on you. "mmph, look so pretty with your lips around my dick, sweetheart."
you couldn't help but moan on his dick.
and his lips quirked into that sickly sweet smile.
he knew how easily you got wet, how all it took was just a few words and you were a moaning, whining mess. sam thought you deserved a little more for all you were giving him than just a little praise.
and like said before, sam was huge so he reached over, his torso towering a little above your head and his arm reached out, soothing down your lower back.
this wasn't the first time sam had pulled something like this. you knew what to do, stomach sinking onto the bed as you rolled your ass into nothingness, wanting to create some kind of friction while your mouth continued to slowly melt around him, licking and sucking, eyes closed as one hand pumped the part of his dick that your mouth couldn't reach.
you felt his fingers tracing the outline of your satin underwear, pulling up your skirt so he could gain access.
you made a noise of complaint, knowing that if he touched you, you wouldn't be able to focus properly on touching him. sam only used his free hand to push your head onto his dick and make you gag again.
he liked watching you fall apart, especially with his dick stuffed in your mouth.
he loved watching the way your body had to bend for him to be able to stick his fingers into your gaping whole, watching as you desperately rolled your hips, wanting him him him. you wanted to feel him. taste him. smell him. he was all consuming, you wanted him to take over your every sense.
and he always did, without complaint.
you were wet, undeniably so, he could feel it through the satin material that he pulled back, getting access to your aching pussy. "there you go, sweetheart, tha's it." while easing two fingers into your hole.
you felt like a slut.
he had you completely and utterly full.
"'s that nice, baby? y'feel so warm." both with your mouth against his dick and your soaking wet hole. "you're so pretty for me, you know that, angel?"
he knew you couldn't respond, only whining and whimpering against his throbbing cock. "you're my good girl, aren't you?" he felt you whine, vibrations spreading through him and he also felt your pussy squeeze against his fingers. he grinned at that. "you like that, honey? like thinkin' about how you're my good girl, yeah? all mine, baby, you're all mine."
and you really were. before sam, you wouldn't look at a boy sideways let alone be like this.
you groaned into him, ass rolling against his fingers while your own free hand moved down. you continued sucking his dick while using your nimble fingers to play with your clit.
and that was enough for sam to let out a moan. "oh, baby, you look so pretty playing with yourself while―shit―sucking my cock."
your eyes rolled back, feeling of pleasure coating you while your soft lips bobbed up and down, fingers tracing him and yourself.
"'m gonna cum, sweetheart." a warning, though he knew you wouldn't move anyway. "you gonna be a good girl 'n cum on my fingers while you suck my cock, huh, baby?"
he felt you absentmindedly nod, too fucked out to think straight while feeling a familiar knot deep in your stomach.
your whines got louder and he felt himself nearing the edge. the sight of you, blissed out while sucking his cock, his fingers stuffed into your hole making you feel all full... he couldn't help but let go.
at the same time, he felt your gummy walls clenching around his fingers, wet juices sliding down his hand while spurts of squirt left your pussy every time his fingers pumped in and out of you, riding out your high.
"good girl, good girl. that's it, baby. oh fuck. yeah, my good girl. there you go." he was in awe, watching you squirt around his fingers, the wet feeling as it spurted out from your pussy, decorating the bedsheets in your juices while your pretty socks got ruined in the mess.
when he finally finished, he pulled his fingers out of you, letting you lean back as you parted your lips to show him his cum all over your tongue, spread messily in your mouth.
his hand was on your face, eyes strained on your mouth as he watched you close your lips and swallow like the good girl you were, swiping his thumb against your bottom lip.
he pushed his two fingers into your mouth, letting you taste yourself. while your eyes rolled back, all fucked out and dumb.
"think we have some time before dean gets back, yeah?" eyes already scanning your body and letting his imagination get the better of him.
he just watched your blissed out face nod, cheeks flushed. "mmhm hmph."
he wasn't done with you just yet.
main masterlist/sam's masterlist
#sam winchester#sam winchester x reader#sam winchester one shot#sam winchester imagine#sam winchester x y/n#sam winchester x reader fluff#sam winchester x reader smut#sam winchester drabble#sam winchester x reader angst#sam winchester x reader comfort#sam winchester fluff#sam winchester angst#sam winchester smut#sam winchester comfort#supernatural#supernatural x reader#supernatural x y/n#supernatural drabble#sleepyangelkami
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Wibirbs Wobble Part 15
masterpost
Bruce stood, along with most of the theater as Cass and her dance partner came onto the stage to join the rest of the Cass. Bruce was so proud of her. Despite everything Cass had been through, she had grown to be such a kind, confident young lady. For her not only get up on a stage and dance but to also be the one of the leads was truly a testament to how hard she had worked to find a life she wanted.
Next to him, Danny stood, wavered, and ended up right back in his seat.
“Danny?”
“I’m fine, watch your daughter,” Danny said. He waved one hand dismissively at Bruce while he rested his forehead in the other.
He’d gone alarming pale.
Reluctantly, Bruce turned back to applaud one last time. As soon as the curtains closed, Bruce took a knee in front of Danny’s chair.
“I’m fine,” Danny tried again.
“You look like a ghost,” Bruce argued and took Danny’s wrist.
Danny covered a snort of laughter with his other hand.
Danny’s pulse fluttered weakly under Bruce’s fingers. “We should get you to an urgent care—”
“It’s fine,” Danny said. Even his smile looked a little weak. “I just need a moment.”
Bruce doubted that a moment would help much. “I’m worried about your pulse.”
“You caught that?” Danny asked, question curious and not at all concerned.
“I was studying to be a doctor at once point,” Bruce pointed out dryly.
“You were? Hum, maybe I’ve heard that before? I don’t really know,” Danny said before he shook his head a little. (The movement did Danny’s coloring no favors.) “But okay look, I know about my pulse issues. I’m having a bit of a bad… few weeks right now, but I’ll be fine. I’ve already seen my doctor about it. I get how it seems concerning, and yeah I need to keep taking it easy a bit, but this is pretty normal for me. I have some complications from an accident when I was a kid.”
Bruce frowned, searching the words for a lie.
There wasn’t one, even if there also wasn’t much information.
“At least let us offer you a ride home then,” Bruce insisted. He continued quickly when it seemed Danny would protest. “It really won’t be an issue and it would make me feel better to know you got home safe.”
Danny’s lips pressed together thinly.
Bruce pulled out the big guns. “And Cass would hate it if you were hurt from coming to see her perform.”
“Does she have everyone wrapped around her finger?” Danny asked, lips quirking into a little smile.
“Basically since she arrived,” Bruce said wryly. He stood and offered Danny both his arms, palms up. “Please stand carefully. If you go over the edge of the box I’ll have to drive to save you or something equally dramatic.”
“We would make the papers for sure,” Danny said. His grip was concernedly shaky as he wrapped his hands around Bruce’s forearms, but he stood in a smooth motion, even if he ended up basically leaning against Bruce’s chest. Danny stepped back after a second, cheeks dusted with red. “Okay, should I just… wait for you out front?”
“It’s adorable how you think I’m letting you out of my sight,” Bruce said. He rested his hand lightly on the small of Danny’s back and started to guide the other out of the box. “Again, you falling over the edge of the box, down the stairs, dramatically onto some absurdly pointy bit of Gotham architecture— these are all things I am not going to take a risk of happening to you.”
“You are such a father.”
“I don’t know if that’s a compliment or an insult,” Bruce said honestly as they took the back stairs down to avoid the crowd.
“Oh, well, more of just a statement? But definitely not an insult,” Danny insisted.
They were tucked slightly close together until the stairs opened up into a sitting room that was kept aside traditionally for those in the boxes. Tonight the Wayne name had kept it aside for for Bruce, his family, and their close friends. Well, and Danny, Bruce mused as he made the other sit down on the sofa that purely for looks and not comfort.
Bruce poured a glass of the recently refreshed water and brought it over to Danny.
“I really will be alright,” Danny said, but took the glass and a long sip. His color was a little better after some water. “I’ve been dealing with some level of this for… huh, almost twenty five years now. I sorta hadn’t realized that it had been so long… but anyways, that means I’m used to it.”
Bruce rested on the arm of the sofa. “Just because you’re used to it, that doesn’t mean that you have to bear it alone.”
Danny gave a little shrug. “But I do, Bruce, or a lot of it at least. I live alone after all.”
The door burst open as the room was swarmed with a multitude of Waynes and might-as-well-be-Waynes. It left Bruce without any time to respond to that and grateful, as he watched his family pile into the room, that he had been lucky enough despite everything to not end up alone.
Tim was the one who paused, as if just noticing Danny, before shaking his head. “Right, the engineer Cass invited! Hi, I’m Tim. I intern at WE so you might see me around there too. Well, not that you won’t see the others, but I mean that you might see me more often.”
“Nice to meet you Tim, though I don’t know how often you’ll be down by engineering,” Danny said.
Danny had a bit of a tight grip on the glass in his hands, but Bruce supposed it was a great deal of people very suddenly. There was something though…
“Oh, Tim is also a huge nerd,” Steph said as she threw her arm over Tim’s shoulder. “He likes to tinker so you might be surprised. Trust me, I’m his ex.”
“We only dated for months,” Tim said with a roll of his eyes.
“That’s Stephanie, a family friend,” Bruce cut in before things got far too out of hand. “You know Dick and this is Barbara, who he mentioned. Jason, my second oldest, is in the back with his boyfriend Roy, Duke is next to them, and this is Damian, my youngest.”
“Greetings,” Damian said. His tone was sever, but far more curious than cutting. Bruce was proud of the growth even if there was still more work to be done.
“Hello everyone. Like Tim said, I’m Danny,” Danny said with a little smile that was mostly real with just a bit of polite company strain. “Cass spent an afternoon in my office chatting with me. I suppose since we talked so much about the show, she invited me to see it. Sorry to invade your family time though, I didn’t know I would be doing that.”
“That’s just how this family goes,” Barbara said with a soft chuckle. “Trust me, I’ve been around them long enough to know how they absorb people.”
“Way to make us sound nefarious, Barbie,” Jason grumbled.
“No, no, you guys are,” Roy said casually. “It’s in a good way, sure, but you’re still sorta nefarious and you definitely absorb people. This isn’t even everyone.”
“Have I apologized for them already?” Bruce asked, though he supposed the fond warmth in his words ruined the intent.
Luckily Danny just gave a soft laugh. “Don’t. The best sort of family and friendships all have a good helping of chaos and malarkey.”
“Malarkey?” Steph repeated.
“It’s a good word, illiterate ingrate,” Jason defended.
The room dissolve into chaos and Bruce turned to apologize again only to find Danny watching the group with a small but fond smile.
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First Newborn Moments : ̗̀➛ Charles LeClerc
summary: the first moments for you both after the emotional arrival of your daughter
No words could describe how you felt as your eyes glanced down to the little girl in your arms, everything that you had ever wanted. Charles was sat by your side, leaning across with wide eyes, studying the features of your daughter in awe.
“Can you believe it?” You whispered across to Charles, unable to hide the smile on your face. “She’s just so perfect, so small, and beautiful, more than I could’ve ever imagined.”
Charles nodded in agreement with you, brushing his hand over the top of her head. He didn’t know where to look as he took it all in, her brown eyes, the little dimple in her cheek, the way her mouth was slightly parted as she slept, it was all too much like a dream.
“I feel like someone’s going to come in soon and wake me up,” Charles spoke, “tell me this is all some sort of dream, I feel so lucky right now to have all of this.”
“I promise you that it’s all real,” you whispered, resting your head down against Charles’ shoulder.
It was the moment the two of you had talked about for so long during your pregnancy, wondering how it would be and how overwhelmed you’d feel. Neither of you had prepared yourselves for quite how incredible it would feel though to finally have your daughter with you.
“Can we swap for a moment?” Charles asked, desperate to have a hold of your daughter too. You nodded, watching as he nervously stretched his arms out to take her. “What do I do?” He grinned as you placed her down, scared for you to let go and let him hold her alone.
“Just make sure you support her, body and head,” you told him, placing his hands exactly where they needed to be before letting go. “See, you’re a natural.”
As you moved away, Charles’ eyes were still full of worry, slowly bringing her in towards his chest. “She looks so frail and tiny, like she could break at any moment. I can’t believe I’m actually trusted to take care of such a little human being.”
Charles had made no secret of the fact that he was scared, terrified of messing up or doing the wrong thing. You’d spent many late nights wide awake talking about his worries together, with you constantly being on hand to reassure him, reminding Charles that you both would be learning for some time, after all, no parent was perfect.
Your smile was wide as your eyes stayed with Charles, admiring how fondly he looked down at her. “She’s already relaxed in her daddy’s arms; you must be doing something right.”
“Beginner’s luck,” Charles sniggered, momentarily looking up and across at you. “I can’t wait for everyone to get here later, my brothers are going to crazy when they see how beautiful she is, they’re already slightly obsessed.”
“She has no idea how lucky she is, does she?” You chuckled, watching as your daughter’s eyes fluttered shut. “She’s got the most loving family in the world, and yet she’s got absolutely no idea who any of us actually are yet.”
Charles leant across and pressed a kiss against the side of your head. “I’m going to make sure that she grows up knowing exactly how incredible you are and how hard your body just worked to bring her into this world,” he proudly told you.
To say things didn’t quite go as well as you expected was an understatement, labour had been nothing short of a nightmare for you both. It had left Charles terrified, constantly wondering what was going to happen as midwives ran around you until your daughter arrived.
“I wish I could sleep like this,” Charles chuckled, “without a single care in the world.”
“I feel like I could sleep as well as she is right now, I’m absolutely exhausted.”
Charles’ concerned eyes immediately looked across at you, weakly smiling as he met your eyes. He could tell how sore you were, even if you weren’t going to admit it, wanting to savour every moment that you could of having your daughter there with you.
A sigh came from Charles as you let go of a yawn, trying your best to disguise it behind your hand. “Why don’t you rest? I’ll wake you if anything happens,” Charles suggested, nodding in the direction of the pillow behind you. “You need to be looking after yourself right now, you’re just as important as this one is.”
“I’ll get some rest soon, I promise. I mean, we should probably get used to the lack of sleep now, right?”
A quiet chuckle came from Charles, not wanting to disturb your daughter. His worried eyes still watched you, only relaxing when you propped yourself up and rested in the bed again, stretching your legs out to try and wake your body back up again.
“I can’t wait to take this one to the paddock, show her all the cool things that her daddy gets up to.”
Your smile was wide as Charles’ eyes lit up, excited for all the things he had to look forward to with her. “She’s going to be absolutely spoilt by everyone at that paddock, I think you’ll be a forgotten man when we take her, no one will want to pay any attention to you, just to her.”
“I wouldn’t mind,” Charles proudly shrugged. “Just as long as she knows that no matter how much anyone in that paddock tells her they love her, they don’t love her anywhere near as much as we do.”
“Trust me, with the way I know you’re going to spoil her, she’s definitely going to be a daddy’s girl,” you teased, resting your hand against Charles’ shoulder. “I can already tell from the look in your eye that our little girl is going to have you absolutely wrapped around her little finger.”
Charles nodded, there was no doubt about it that your little girl was his new weakness, knowing that he would never be able to say no to her.
He couldn’t believe what he did to get so lucky, not just to have his daughter, but you as well. It was the sort of thing Charles always dreamt about, but knew would probably never come true. Only for him, it did, and it was better than he could have ever imagined.
As your daughter settled, Charles leant over once again and pressed a kiss against your shoulder. “Thank you,” he whispered, taking you by surprise. “Thank you for everything, for loving me, taking care of me, and giving me the greatest gift in the world. Nothing will ever be good enough to show you how appreciative I am that you’ve just made me a dad.”
Your smile was wide as you glanced back across at Charles, “you don’t need to thank me Charles. I should be thanking you for being here, right by my side, and getting me through the last nine months. I love you.”
“I love you too, more than you’ll ever know.”
˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗
#f1#f1 imagine#formula 1#charles leclerc#charles leclerc imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 reaction#formula 1 x you#formula 1 fanfic#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc drabble#formula one x you#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 fic#formula one#f1 drabble#f1 fluff#f1 x you#f1 fic
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what arcane characters would be like at christmas!
inspired by @cosmicporos whose work is here <3
i’m in the christmas spirit and wanted to do a sillier post on what some arcane characters are like at this time of the year! once christmas and exams are over, i’ll get back to working through requests ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
Jinx:
jinx gifts you something homemade, maybe a scrapbook of all the things you did together throughout the year?
aw omg i bet she’s amazing at taking secret pics…there’s so many embarrassing pictures of you in there but you can’t even hate it when she doodles love hearts right next to them :’)
all the pictures inside would be meticulously dated with a corresponding memory to go underneath
she wants to show you how much she cares!
jinx would love anything you give her, but she would swoon if you got her materials to make more chomper bombs - she loves how accepting and enthusiastic you are of her hobbies
jinx’s favourite holiday activity is decorating!
she loves getting into a festive spirit where it’s seen as more acceptable to be goofy and childlike?
she’s very thrifty so i feel like most of the decor is stuff you guys make together in front of a warm fire while it snows outside hehe
makes cranberry and popcorn garlands which you guys end up eating by the end of the week
there’s just plain string all over the place 😭
obviously there will be christmas themed graffiti
instead of a star or angel on top of the tree, she makes miniature figurines of you two hugging to stick on top
she is incredibly down bad for you and loves the holidays because she gets to be extra sentimental
gets a stupidly skinny christmas tree that barely has enough branches to wrap decorations around but she wouldn’t have it any other way
jinx doesn’t want to take everything tooooo seriously
jinx’s favourite christmas song is i wish it could be christmas everyday
Vi:
vi gifts you your own leather jacket! it's second hand and a bit worn through but she tried her best
you always spoke about how much you loved her jacket and now you two can match
irons and pins on patches of your favourite bands all over the jacket
spends so much time into making sure it looks perfect for you
i can see you two wearing each other’s jackets a lot so you can smell like one another
best investment ever - now everyone knows you two are made for each other
she would love it if you gifted her boxing gloves in her signature colour!
vi’s favourite holiday activity is sledding!
she probably uses an old sled her and jinx made together when they were younger
it’s seen better days but she doesn’t want to give it up anytime soon
better wear a helmet in case the whole sled comes apart as you ride it 😭
she’s the kind of person to convince you to let her push the sled down a steep hill… she cheers as you scream in fear
when you asked her if it was safe she winked and told you to trust her 😐
big mistake but how can you say no to her???
you both land in a heap of snow at the bottom, laughing so hard you have to catch your breath as snowflakes melts into your hair
she rolls you around in the snow and kisses you for a loooooong time hehe
vi’s favourite christmas song is baby it’s cold outside
Ekko:
ekko gifts you a painting he made of you!
he’s very nervous when he does, watching for every little reaction on your face - he just wants to know that he did a good job and made you happy
how could you not like it? he captures your likeness so well it feels like looking in a very flattering mirror
you can tell how much love and thought he put into it
he would love it if you gifted him more face paint and hair dye - even better if you offer to do it for him!
ekko’s favourite holiday activity is playing in the snow!
snowball fights, building snowmen and igloos, making snow angels - all of it!
this guy LOCKS IN when it comes to snowball fights
honestly sometimes you want to say no bcs he gets a bit too committed and you feel like you’re getting hunted down 😭
but then he promises to make you hot chocolate when you get inside so it works out in the end
accidentally pelts you in the face with a solid snowball and his face drops
he runs over to where you got knocked over and is worriedly checking you all over to make sure you’re not hurt
that’s when you shove snow down his back and run away in a fit of giggles
he goes still before he starts to chase after you - you both launch snow at each other for house
yeah, you both get ill after that 😭
ekko’s favourite christmas song is santa clause is coming to town
Jayce:
jayce gifts you jewellery he forged himself :3
i can see him dragging you along to the workshop, making you watch him be all sweaty and hot for hours (you’re not complaining)
if you ask what exactly he’s making there he brushes it off as a custom piece of equipment needed for his experiments - little do you know it’s actually gifts for you
when he does gift it to you he has the most smug look in his face
who else is doing gifts like him?? exactly 🙂↕️
he would love it if you gave him new tools he can use when he’s doing his forging!
jayce’s favourite holiday activity is making gingerbread houses!
mainly sneakily nibbling away at little pieces of you (you notice)
you two end up ditching the house and smear icing all over each other
he licks the icing off your cheek
you tell him how gross he is but he’s not fooled when you’re blushing and giggling at his antics
after you two finish your “break”, you get to work on finally completing the gingerbread house
doesn’t let you leave the kitchen until you’re done - he made BLUEPRINTS for the house
it ends up being more like a mansion when you’re done
he’s cheesing so hard when it’s done and he makes you pose with the house
he posts it on his instagram story with some dumb caption (“look at my sweet treat and the gingerbread house we made 😜”) and you only find out when your friends send it to you
jayce’s favourite christmas song is all i want for christmas is you
Viktor:
viktor gifts you customised skincare he made just for you!
he is more physics-minded but after hearing you complain about how all the products you tried just weren’t doing it for you, he decides to step up
spends so much time consulting chemists at the academy for help creating the products
“subtly” asks you questions about your skin so as not to give himself away
“your skin looks quite dry today, would you agree?”
says this in front of a bunch of people - you hate this man so much 😭
you’re so happy when he gifts it to you, you’ve never had someone listen so intently to what you talk about
you definitely cry into his arms and he’s a bit stunned but eventually holds onto you - you stay like that for a while
he would love it if you gave him fancy coffee to help him stay up in the lab!
viktor’s favourite holiday activity is going to the christmas markets!
loves the smell of cinnamon and cocoa in the air, loves how the cold air nips at his nose
the icy ground is a bit of a nuisance for his cane but he knows he always has you to help out, even if he hates asking ^^
makes you two look at all the lights so you can rate them
goes to basically every dessert stand and scarfs down an insane amount of sweet things in record time
likes to buy the weirdest snow globes he can find
viktor’s favourite christmas song is winter wonderland
Caitlyn:
cait gifts you a first-edition copy of you’re favourite classical novel!
she had to pull a lot couple of strings to get it but she would do just about anything for you
even though you’d be happy with anything she gives you, she places a lot of expectations on herself
she stresses herself out over making sure you have the best christmas ever
she would love it if you gave her clothes that she would actually wear, things she’s told her she likes - not just what she’s expected to wear
cait’s favourite holiday activity is ice skating!
she’s honestly so good at ice skating you’re surprised it isn’t her job or something
takes you skating on the frozen lake at her estate
if you don’t know how to skate, she’s incredibly patient and teaches you the basics
she loves that you have to cling onto her so you don’t fall over
if you know how to skate, she bashfully asks if you want to learn couple’s ice skating choreography with her
has the time of her life doing lifts and jumps with you!
wishes she could stay outside skating with you
cait's favourite christmas song is underneath the tree
Mel:
mel gifts you a holiday at your dream destination!
she has lots of money at her disposal and gifts you things all the time, so she really has to go above and beyond for this one
you complain about barely getting to see her due to her work on the council so she manages to get a week away with you!
has a whole itinerary planned out so all you have to do is sit back and relax
makes up for all the time she spent away from you by making sure you're both attached at the hip lol
she would love it if you gifted her one of those jars full of little notes with things you love and admire about that person!
mel’s favourite holiday activity is playing games by the fireplace!
at first, she’s off-put by the whole idea - she’s not a child
but deep down i feel like she’s quite lonely and yearns to feel like she really belongs somewhere, she’s just scared to be emotionally vulnerable
so when you come along she reluctantly agrees and finds that she really loves doing this at a time that reminds her of her estranged family
loosens up around you and feels like she can really be herself
she’s also very competitive so it adds more drama to it all
you guys definitely argue when you play charades or uno 😭
she makes it up to you by letting you win the next game even if it’s incredibly obvious
makes silly bets when you play - “if i win the next round you have to tell me what you got be for christmas”
she’s such a cutie
mel’s favourite christmas song is santa baby
Ambessa:
ambessa gifts you a spa day
honestly a bit of a self-indulgent present since her mind isn’t completely innocent with this gift
a spa day is a spa day however
she doesn’t celebrate christmas - it’s a useless frivolity that wastes precious time that could be used to train her army
she knows how much you enjoy it though so she makes an exception for you
you can tell her heart’s not in it but it’s sweet that she tries for you
she would love it if you made her an intricate meal with all her favourite noxian foods!
ambessa’s favourite holiday activity is making christmas cards!
well, she’s not the one making them
she just watches you make them
but she thinks the look of concentration on your face is quite endearing so she stays around to watch you make them
she’s surprised by how much effort goes into making them from scratch and she walks away with a new appreciation for your hobby
you could beg her to join but she’s just not gonna do it 😭
she likes you, but not that much
ambessa’s favourite christmas song is none of them unfortunately <\3 (she has a soft spot for feliz navidad)
Heimerdinger:
heimerdinger gifts you a jailbroken gaming console 😭
he spent precious time on that thing
doesn’t agree with doing things like that usually but it’s christmas
everyone deserves a treat every now and then!
hopes you’ll focus on your work at the academy more often if you have this
backfires in his face because you’re constantly on it now, oh well
at least you liked the present
he would love it if you you gifted him a song you wrote!
heimerdinger’s favourite holiday activity is secret santa!
he is SO bad at keeping his a secret 😭
he goes around the academy asking people about your hobbies, likes and dislikes
you know he has you by the end of the day lmao
he’s so cute you can’t even be mad
heimerdinger’s favourite christmas song is wonderful christmastime
AU!Claggor:
claggor gifts you one of his hybrid plants!
this is a huge honour since they’re basically his children
the one he gifts you was a seedling from the very first plant that managed to survive off the fissure gases
gives you a whole speech on how to properly care for it (tells you the secret is to whisper positive affirmations to it every morning)
he’s nervous gifting it you since it means so much to him, but he knows he can trust you to look after it
it’s so sweet since he’s sharing such an important part of his life with you!
he would love it if you gave him cuttings from a rare plant you may or may not have taken from some rich piltie
claggor’s favourite holiday activity is baking!
he has his own apron and everything
makes cookies and yule logs topped with marshmallows - he goes above and beyond
makes enough to give out to family and friends
he loves seeing people enjoy his labor of love, it makes him all fuzzy inside
claggors’s favourite christmas song is it’s beginning to look a lot like christmas
AU!Mylo:
mylo gifts you wool gloves!
you always complain about having cold hands so whenever you two are outside, your hands are always in your pockets
but he wants to hold your hand :(
so gloves it is!
two birds with one stone
he would love it if your gift was literally just a kiss under the mistletoe, he doesn’t ask for much!
mylo’s favourite holiday activity is scavenger hunts!
he’s another one who thinks certain activities are childish, but once he gets in the zone istg he’s shoving actual kids out of the way 😭
like i genuinely believe you would have to restrain him because he’s going feral over this
he needs to calm down tbh
probably loses to a five year old and sulks for the rest of the rest of the day
mylo’s favourite christmas song is a nonsense christmas
Silco:
silco gifts you expensive clothes and perfume/cologne
he’s got MONEY and i feel like he wants to make up for the fact that he’s never had much growing up, so he spoils you in all the ways you deserve
he rolls his eyes if you tell him you don’t want anything for christmas
as if he would let you celebrate the day empty handed
when you asked him for a big fir tree you got it, along with mountains of presents stacked underneath
way too many for one person
he watches you intently with a smirk on his face, loving the way your eyes light up with each present you unwrap
he likes having the satisfaction that only he can treat you like this
he would love it if you offered to inject his eye as a gift - he can’t really reject this, can he?
if you offered under any other circumstances, he would probably say no
silco’s favourite holiday activity is dressing up as santa!
ok hear me out
one day when jinx was younger she asked if she would see santa that year
and he just…dressed up as him?? and gave her presents??? and now it’s a tradition that’s stuck 😭
keep in mind jinx didn’t believe in santa at this point but he had no idea about this so he didn’t want her to be disappointed
his santa impression is just “ho, ho, ho” 😐 he’s so deadpan it’s hilarious
he has this tacky stiff beard and pillows stuffed under his costume
so when you find out about it, you beg to see it with your own eyes
it’s sooooo embarrassing for him but he loves making his favourite people happy no matter the cost
doesn’t let anyone else but you two and sevika see him like that
silco’s favourite christmas song is…the christmas song lol
Sevika:
sevika gifts you a custom-made gun, “to Y/N, from sev” inscribed on the handle
she’s secretly whipped for you but can’t let anyone else know, how else is she meant to keep up her tough facade?
teaches you how to use the gun - she doesn’t want you to be defenceless in the lanes, especially since you’re connected to someone like her
her worst fear is someone hurting you to get to her
she would love it if you got her a backup arm, god knows hers is always getting ruined considering all the fights she gets into
sevika’s favourite holiday activity is watching christmas movies!
she rarely gets a moment to relax so when the holidays come around, she loves getting to chill with you on the couch
you guys watch those awful hallmark movies and you spend the entire time complaining the the tv about how unrealistic and dumb the characters are
she throws popcorn at the tv whenever her least favourite character shows up
oooh i can picture you two sipping on mulled wine, sevika’s arm wrapped around your shoulders
you’re basically snuggled into her lap and she lives for it
would die if anyone saw her like that though
makes it a yearly tradition to show you the picture she secretly took of silco dressed up as santa
she basically glows inside when she hears your laughter ring out like bells
sevika’s favourite christmas song is please come home for christmas
Vander:
vander gifts you free hug vouchers lmao
i see him as someone who values sentimental value over material possessions, so he came up with this genius idea >:)
you’re having a bad day? redeem a free bear hug!
you’re feeling sappy? redeem a free bear hug!
you just want a hug? you don’t even need to ask!
he was scared you would think he was just being lazy with this present but he’s elated when he sees you openly tearing up at it
you both laugh at the christmas table over his present
he would love it if you gave the kids a gift, it shows how much you care!
vander’s favourite holiday activity is carol singing
except drunk (it’s for charity!)
drunk carol singing is good for the soul, or so he says
i can imagine him and silco when they were younger wandering the streets, cheeks red with sappy grins straining their faces, belting out songs at the top of their lungs
multiple people told them to shut up
they just sang louder
end up at the last drop where they have a karaoke session
when he does get tips for his carolina, he uses it to help the most vulnerable people in zaun
helping his people is his main priority
vander’s favourite christmas song is let it snow
masterlist
#arcane#arcane fanfic#arcane headcanon#jinx x reader#vi x reader#ekko x reader#ekko arcane#jayce x reader#arcane jayce#viktor x reader#viktor arcane#caitlyn x reader#arcane caitlyn#mel x reader#mel arcane#ambessa x reader#ambessa arcane#heimerdinger x reader#heimerdinger#claggor x reader#arcane claggor#mylo x reader#arcane mylo#silco x reader#sevika x reader#vander x reader
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physical touch with enhypen۟ ׅ ͡ ୨ৎ
강화 ── fem reader!, g • fluff, suggestive ౨ৎ establish relationship, (5 headcanons for each member with dialogue) credits to everyone who did this before me! and credits to the dividers and photos ₊ ˖ ་. ! 𝑫𝑶𝑳𝑳𝒀𝑯𝒀𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑰𝑰𝑺 𝑫𝑰𝑨𝑹𝒀!
秋のメモ… ︵ ︵ ིྀ!, jakes is a little bit short, (im sorry☹️) likes, feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated!!
ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི 、LEE HEESEUNG | words of admiration ₊ ˖ ་.
• constantly reminding you how much he loves you
“angel, you’re the best thing that’s has ever happened to me, you know that?”
• writing little notes for you and hiding them so you could find it
“check your bag angel, i slipped a little something in there for you.”
• encouraging you when your feeling down or upset
“angel.. don’t be so hard on yourself, your doing so good.. my good girl..”
• always telling you how proud he is of you
“mm yeah angel, im so proud of you, your working so hard.”
• sending you messages to let you know he’s thinking about you
“good morning angel, i hope today is as beautiful as you pretty.”
ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི 、𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗝𝗢𝗡𝗚𝗦𝗘𝗢𝗡𝗚 | gift giving ₊ ˖ ་.
• he loves surprising you with gifts he knows you’ll love
“princess, i saw this necklace and it reminded me of you, isn’t it so pretty?”
• leaving presents when he has to leave early for work
“mhm princess, couldn’t let you wake up early without a smile, so i got you this”
• planning surprise dates for you, just to see you smile
“princesses where something comfy, wanna take you somewhere i’ll know you’ll love
• handcrafting gifts for you
“yeah angel .. i made this for you, it might not look the best but it’s special”
• always picking up little things for you when he’s out
“angel, i saw this and thought it would look perfect on you”
ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི 、SIM JAEHYUN | physically touch ₊ ˖ ་.
• holding your hand every chance he gets
“please darling.., don’t let go of me okay?
• hugging you tightly after a long day
“darling come here, i missed you so much today..”
• making sure you’re always by his side, keeping you safe
“stay close to me darling, i’ll keep you safe”
• comforting you when you’re sad, making sure your always in his arms
“darling don’t cry.., im right here, always”
• falling asleep with you in his arms
goodnight darling, sleep well..”
ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི 、PARK SUNGHOON | quality time ₊ ˖ ་.
• spending hours doing things you enjoy together
“baby let’s watch that movie you’ve been talking about all week”
• always making time for you, even when he is busy
“baby i have a free hour, let’s grab coffee later, just the two of us”
• sitting with you in comfortable silence, just the two of you
“baby, you don’t have to talk, just being here with you is enough”
• teaching you stuff he loves, like ice skating
“baby baby.. , hold my hand, it’s okay i won’t let you fall
• going on long walks and talking about everything and anything
“yeah baby, tell me what’s been in your mind lately
ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི 、KIM SUNOO | words of affirmation ₊ ˖ ་.
• showering you with compliments because he can’t get enough of you
“sunshine your so beautiful.., the most prettiest girl, my prettiest girl”
• writing you messages for you on special occasions that always make you cry
“sunshine, the card doesn’t even begin to express how much you mean to me”
• always telling you how much he appreciates you
“sunshine, i don’t know what i would do without you, your truly amazing”
• randomly whispering sweet things in your ear when cuddling
“sunshine, do you know how lucky i am to have you?”
• always finding the perfect words to cheer you up
“sunshine .. the sun shines brighter when you smile, so don’t stop okay?”
ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི 、YANG JUNGWON | act of service ₊ ˖ ་.
• he will always notice the little things you struggle with and takes care of them without being asked
“you looked tired sweetheart, so I packed your bag for you, don’t forget to your water bottle this time”
• helping you with things around the house, you don’t necessarily like doing
“sweetheart let me do the dishes tonight, you relax alright?”
• always making sure your comfortable
“is the blanket okay sweetheart, i don’t want you catching a cold”
• cooking your favorite meals, even when he’s busy
“sweetheart come here, i made your favorite, taste it and tell me if it’s good”
• picking up things you forgot and bringing them to you
“sweetheart, you left your lipgloss at my house, i brought it for you”
ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི 、NISHIMURA RIKI | physical touch ₊ ˖ ་.
• linking pinky’s with you when you two walk
“baby this is our thing now, our little handshake”
• burying his face in your neck when he feels sleepy
“baby… just let me stay like this for a little longer”
• squeezing your hand gently when he knows your nervous
“ baby im right here okay?, you’ve got this baby”
• resting his hand on your thigh, while sitting next to you, he always needs to be close to you
“baby don’t look at me like that.. it’s just comfortable”
• kissing your hand softly before leaving
“baby i’ll see you later okay?, take care of yourself for me”
©dollyhyuckii ꒰ do not rewrite, copy, repost, or translate any of my works without permission ۟ ׅ ͡ ୨ৎ
#⠀︵ ︵ ིྀ dollyhyuckii writes#⠀︵ ︵ ིྀ dollyhyuckii posted#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen x reader#enha fluff#enhypen scenarios#enhypen soft hours#enhypen smau#enha soft hours#enha soft thoughts#enhypen headcanons#enhypen social media au#enhypen oneshots#enhypen fluff#enha x reader#enha fics#heeseung x reader#jay x reader#jake x reader#sunghoon x reader#sunoo x reader#jungwon x reader#niki x reader#enha headcanons#enha imagines#enhypen x female reader#enha x female reader#enhypen fic#enhypen fanfiction
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❝FIDELITY❞ |part14
MASTERLIST -`✮´- Rafe Cameron x Kook!Reader x JJ Maybank
Summary: Kook!Reader’s world is upended by betrayal, and her only way forward might lie with the most unlikely person—JJ Maybank. But as they build a new life together, old flames and past mistakes refuse to stay buried.
Warnings: none (I guess)
previous - next
Witnessing Something You’ve Never Experienced
There are moments in life—like when someone’s laughter makes you laugh, when you share their joy, or when you cry together—that are impossible to put into words. Watching someone else’s happiness is priceless. Maybe that’s one of the best things about being human: feeling their happiness as if it were your own.
These were the simplest, purest emotions. And yet, when you saw Cleo and Pope smiling at each other, it was hard to keep your own happiness in check. It almost felt like it wasn’t their story, but yours. Like their vows added something to your life, too.
You’d never been married. In fact, you’d never even come close to it. But as you listened to Cleo and Pope exchange vows, for a moment, you forgot about that emptiness inside you. Standing barefoot on the moonlit beach, watching them hold hands, it felt like everything was exactly as it should be.
A gentle breeze mingled with the sound of waves breaking on the shore, creating a serene melody in the background. Standing on the sand, you realized how special this moment was. Everyone around you was smiling, even JJ.
He stood a little apart from the crowd, lazily swirling a beer bottle in his hand as he watched the ceremony. His trademark smirk was there, but something about him seemed softer. As if he was sharing in the happiness in his own way.
“You ready to head back?” JJ’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts. He had come up beside you, gesturing toward the lights at the edge of the beach with his beer bottle.
You weren’t in the best shape, to be honest.
You’d only known Cleo and Pope for four years—a long time, but not forever. You met them through JJ, yet your bond with them felt deeper than just friendship. Cleo, especially, felt like a sister to you. You loved them both and wanted to share in their happiness.
It had been years since you’d felt like this. Your attachment to alcohol had ended alongside everything with Liliana, or so you thought. But now, Liliana was weaned, and you’d found a rare moment to be on your own.
Cleo’s wedding wasn’t a grand affair; it was intimate, with close friends, family, and a few others. Your parents had even come. While they wished the same happiness for you, they also took Liliana with them when the reception started. It was their way of giving you a rare night of freedom.
It wasn’t lost on you that they were doing this for you. Liliana was your baby, but in their eyes, you were still theirs. It was one of the rare times you could just be. A night to be young again.
And JJ—well, you could tell your parents were secretly grateful for him too. They’d told him as much when they thought you weren’t listening. Your dad had even helped him out with work, quietly making sure JJ stayed on track.
You were thankful for this time. For a little while, it felt like the old days. Not reckless or wild, just... young.
And maybe you’d gone a little overboard. You’d been drinking and dancing all night. You weren’t sure how much, but it was enough to notice some concerned glances from people here and there.
Still, it wasn’t just the alcohol. There was tension in you that you hadn’t let out. You hadn’t told JJ that you’d seen Rafe earlier. You just wanted to forget. But seeing him—especially when you were with your daughter—was a heartbreak all its own.
After a moment of hesitation, you nodded. You didn’t feel sharp enough to respond with words, yet somehow, you felt like a genius. “I miss my house,” you mumbled, kicking at the sand.
JJ chuckled, shaking his head. “Which house?”
He grabbed your wrist gently, steadying you as you stumbled a bit. His touch moved to your hand, and you couldn’t help but follow his movements, your gaze dropping to the sand.
“All of them,” you replied, your voice a little dreamy. Your answer made JJ laugh harder, the sound blending into the soft music playing in the background. His laughter—it suited everything, like it was a perfect fit for the moment, maybe even better than the music itself.
“All of them? How many houses you got, sweetheart?” he teased, keeping a steady eye on you as if ready to catch you if you fell.
“Two.” You held up two fingers to show him, wobbling slightly. JJ’s hand darted out to catch you by the arm while his other hand held yours firmly.
“Yep, that’s our sign to head out,” he said with a smirk. His hand slipped to your waist as he pulled you closer, keeping you upright. Your bodies brushed against each other, and in your tipsy state, you didn’t have the energy to fight the thoughts that came next.
You couldn’t help but look at him. JJ was one of those people you just had to look at. Admire. Worship, even. Had he really been right in front of you this whole time? What a snack.
“So, one house is in Asheville,” he said, steering you toward your table to grab your bag. “Where’s the other one?”
“You and Liliana.”
JJ’s eyebrows shot up as he looked at you, his mouth opening slightly like he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. For a moment, he froze, trying to process what you’d just said.
Then his gaze shifted, and he waved at Sarah and Pope, who were chatting nearby. He clearly chose to distract himself. It was just drunken rambling, right? No need to read into it.
He knew better than to press the issue. You were drunk. That was all there was to it.
And while you were utterly drunk, he was completely sober. He’d only had one beer, because if you were falling apart like this, someone had to stay grounded to take care of you. The trip home had to be safe. That was his job, and he’d always make sure of it.
You left the beach together, walking slowly. As the sand turned into a gravel path, the wind picked up, biting at your cheeks. JJ shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and tilted his head back to gaze at the sky. Almost entirely leaning on him, you looked up with glassy eyes. “The stars look so beautiful, don’t they?” you asked, your voice carrying an unusual softness.
The house you’d rented wasn’t far. You had intentionally chosen a place close to the beach, for Liliana. When you arrived, JJ opened the door, turning to flash you a small smile. “Come on, let’s get inside. The wind’s going to make you sick,” he teased with a playful tone.
As you stepped inside, the happy scenes from the wedding were still vivid in your mind. Something felt different about tonight, though you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.
JJ couldn’t believe you had made it all the way home. He was sure you’d pass out halfway through, but here you were, still standing—well, barely. He held you steady, watching as you stared at the house like you were seeing it for the first time. You smiled faintly as you spoke.
“I can’t believe how much you drank. I mean—I didn’t even know you could drink that much.”
He raised an eyebrow as you pursed your lips, clearly preparing a rebuttal. Despite your foggy brain, you still managed to respond. “I only had two shots,” you said confidently, holding up your fingers to emphasize your point. The attempt, however, was far from accurate.
JJ reached out to steady your hand, trying to refocus you. “Two shots and, what, a whole bottle of vodka?” he replied with a smirk.
You threw your head back, laughing loudly. JJ’s lips quirked into a grin as he listened to your laughter, his hand brushing against your back in a comforting way. He had watched you all night—dancing with him, going wild with Cleo, chatting with Sarah—and at every moment, a drink had been in your hand, always nearing empty.
“No!” you exclaimed, poking his chest with your finger as if trying to push him away. JJ didn’t budge an inch. Instead, when you stumbled back, he placed both hands on your waist to steady you.
“Alright, come here,” JJ said gently, his tone calm yet firm. He figured you needed to sit down before you hurt yourself. “Let’s get your shoes off before you end up face-first on the floor,” he added, a teasing lilt in his voice. He guided you back to lean against the wall.
He crouched down to untie your shoes quickly, his movements brisk but careful. It was obvious he was afraid you’d trip and hurt yourself. When he finished, he set your shoes by the door and stood up. His gaze immediately met yours. You had been watching him the entire time, tracking his every move.
You threw your arms around his shoulders and looked at him with a drunk, adoring smile. “Your eyes are blue,” you said in awe, studying his face as if it were the first time.
JJ raised his eyebrows, his lips parting slightly. He wanted to pull back and figure out if you were serious, but then he remembered how drunk you were. His lips twitched into an amused grin. “Wow. Five years of living together, and you’re just now noticing?” he teased.
You had no idea what you were doing. You felt like a fool, detached from any sense of self-control. Your thoughts were jumbled, and logic had left the building. You leaned in closer, your heavy-lidded eyes fixated on his face. “Your dimples… they’re really cute,” you whispered.
JJ took a deep breath, shaking his head slightly. His heart raced, which annoyed him more than anything. He tried to pull away from your embrace, turning his head as he gently pried your arms off his neck. “Yeah, you’re definitely drunk,” he muttered, letting your hands drop but still holding onto your wrists to keep you steady.
Suddenly, your breath hitched, and JJ’s attention snapped back to you. His expression shifted as he watched your face, now filled with a mix of worry and sadness. “I didn’t kiss Liliana,” you said in a mournful tone. “Before bed—I didn’t give her her goodnight kiss. I have to do it.”
JJ froze for a moment, trying to process your words. Liliana had been gone for hours, staying with her grandparents. She wasn’t even in the house, and there was no way you’d remember that right now. “Hey, hey. Liliana’s asleep, okay? You can’t kiss her now. You’ll wake her up,” he said soothingly, doing his best to calm you down. He didn’t dare remind you she wasn’t there; that would only lead to a meltdown.
You rested your head on his shoulder, your voice soft and sad. “But I needed to kiss her…”
JJ smiled faintly, brushing his hand over your hair. “It’s alright, sweetheart. You can kiss her in the morning. Let her sleep now.”
Lifting your head, you looked at him intently, your gaze almost too focused for how drunk you were. JJ frowned slightly, sensing the shift in your demeanor. There was something behind your eyes—something determined. It made his chest tighten with unease, a feeling he couldn’t quite place.
“You’re awake,” you said suddenly, as if realizing a profound truth.
JJ raised an eyebrow, looking at you in utter confusion. He took a step back. "Huh?"
Despite his retreat, you stepped closer. JJ swallowed hard as you approached, suddenly feeling trapped—vulnerable, even. Thoughts he had no business entertaining were creeping into his head. After all, it was you. You. His friend. His roommate. Yet, he could tell by your innocent tone that you meant nothing by it, and maybe that’s what he hated the most—because those innocent words were pulling his mind into places it didn’t belong.
“You’re awake, so I can kiss you,” you said, your voice far too nonchalant for the chaos it stirred in him.
JJ quickly stepped back, holding up a hand to stop you, his face turning away as if looking at you directly might break his resolve. “Let’s get you to bed,” he said, his tone soft but firm. You were drunk, and there was no way you meant what you were saying. If you were sober, those words wouldn’t have left your lips. No matter what you said, he was getting you to bed and leaving you there to sleep it off.
“Why? If I can’t kiss Lily, can’t I kiss you? You’re awake! Besides—this is just a goodnight kiss,” you insisted with a faint smile, your tone bordering on teasing.
Those words sparked something deep within JJ, something unfamiliar and unsettling. You two had never crossed this kind of line before. He’d never seen you look at him like that. And for the first time in years, you were drunk. He knew you hadn’t touched alcohol since Liliana. He also knew how much of your life had been shaped around her absence. Tonight, though, was different—you were drunk, and it was obvious your body wasn’t handling it well.
Even though he knew your words were soaked in alcohol, JJ couldn’t stop the heat creeping up his neck. It wasn’t just what you said—it was how it made him feel.
JJ exhaled and shook his head, a defeated sort of gesture. He knew you meant nothing by it. There was no way this was anything more than innocent—it had to be. Besides, you were drunk. “Alright, fine. You can kiss me on the cheek,” he said, hoping to diffuse the moment, to get you to let this go. You were speaking without thinking, but his brain was taking your words to places he wished it wouldn’t.
JJ turned his head slightly, offering his cheek as he braced himself, standing as still as a statue. It wasn’t as if this was the first time you’d kissed each other on the cheek. It was a friendly gesture, a sign of affection. You were close—roommates raising a kid together. You spent almost every waking moment together. It was impossible not to care deeply for each other—as friends, of course.
But this? This felt different. Something about the situation was wrong. Whether it was the alcohol he’d had earlier, his own overthinking, or something entirely to do with you, he couldn’t say. All he knew was that, for the first time since you’d moved in, his mind was wandering into territory it had no business exploring. It was like he was just now realizing—or maybe finally acknowledging—that something had shifted between you two.
JJ couldn’t shake the unease in your presence tonight. He was used to being around you, practically glued to your side at all times. But this? Drunk you? That was a new one. Well, aside from those wild parties in your younger days, though even then, he’d usually seen you from a distance—usually surrounded by people. Or… with that fuck-face.
And now here you were, just the two of you, and it felt like uncharted waters. JJ had been drunk around you before, sure, but he could hold his liquor. He didn’t drink often, but when he did, it wasn’t new territory for him.
JJ glanced at you out of the corner of his eye as you took another unsteady step closer. His hands were still on you, steadying you, keeping you upright. He felt his tension rise with every passing second, his stomach twisting in knots. All he wanted was to let you kiss his cheek, put you to bed, and be done with this excruciating moment.
Then he felt it—your fingers slipping from his grip, brushing against the stubble on his freshly-shaven cheek. The light, almost hesitant touch sent a shiver down his spine. He couldn’t even turn his head fully to face you; he just stood there, keeping his gaze flitting between you and the floor. Your touch was nearly enough to make him close his eyes and lean into it, but the reminder of your drunken state snapped him back to reality.
As you swayed closer, your weight pressed into him. JJ quickly steadied you, hearing the soft giggle escape your lips. “Oops,” you muttered, your laughter muffled against his chest.
He hated this—hated everything about it. Hated the situation, his thoughts, and most of all, how he was feeling. For the love of God, you were drunk, and the thoughts running through his mind were nothing short of sinful. How had he sunk so low as to let his brain spiral like this over a drunk woman—his best friend?
When your lips finally pressed against his cheek, JJ exhaled shakily, his gaze dropping to the floor as his heart pounded furiously in his chest. You’d kissed him on the cheek plenty of times before, but this? This felt different. This kiss lingered too long, carrying a weight he couldn’t explain—a spark that was entirely new and unsettling.
When your lips didn’t move away, JJ gently pulled back, clearing his throat as he steadied you by the waist. As he turned his head back toward you, his eyes briefly—and accidentally—flicked to your lips. He quickly dragged his gaze back up to your eyes, cursing himself internally. He shouldn’t have looked.
Clearing his throat again, JJ felt his face flush with heat. His prayers for composure were no match for the image of your lips—now cherry red, like they’d been painted that way. It wasn’t the lipstick you’d put on earlier. That had smudged and faded hours ago. Had your lips always been this red? Or was this something he was only now noticing?
The moment he realized his eyes had drifted back to your lips, it felt like death itself. He needed to stop this. It was weird—no, terrifying. You were drunk, and he was completely sober.
JJ took a deep breath and looked at your face. It was like you were staring straight into his soul, as though trying to pull everything he was out of him with just your gaze. "Okay," he muttered, trying to compose himself. He leaned on the thought that you'd forget this by morning, that you wouldn't remember any of it. If you were sober, he wouldn't dare let his eyes linger on your lips this long. "Well, since we’ve got the goodnight kiss out of the way—"
JJ stopped mid-sentence when he felt your hand on the collar of his shirt. The proximity was already absurd—he’d only been holding onto you to keep you from falling—but this? This was nowhere near what he’d expected. Your grip tightened, and before he knew it, you pulled him closer. His eyes widened, and in the next instant, he found himself on your lips.
His mind blanked. He didn’t even have the sense to close his eyes, as if keeping them open might confirm the absurdity of this moment. It couldn’t be real—it shouldn’t be real.
The shock rendered JJ motionless. This wasn’t a passionate kiss. You weren’t moving; you just held your lips against his. Yet JJ was sure he was about to have a heart attack.
Just the touch of your lips sent his heart into a frenzy. He was either dying or dreaming, and neither seemed plausible.
But it didn’t take long for reality to sink in. He pulled away quickly, stumbling back. His hand darted out to steady you, but he didn’t dare come any closer. He had no idea what to make of what had just happened—or how he was supposed to feel about it.
God, you were drunk. So drunk.
“Stop,” he said firmly, though his voice shook slightly. He’d messed up. This wasn’t supposed to happen—none of it. And yet he swore he could still feel your lips on his. He regretted this. You wouldn’t remember it tomorrow, but he wouldn’t forget. “You’re going to regret this when I tell you in the morning.”
He wouldn’t tell you. He couldn’t. Losing your friendship wasn’t a risk he was willing to take. More than that, he couldn’t bear the thought of being cut out of your life—or Liliana’s. No, he couldn’t lose the family he’d found. Not over one night.
The words had only been meant to stop you, to get you to back off and let the moment end. He needed you to listen. Then he could put you to bed and get through the night without ever feeling your lips again, without remembering how soft they were or the feeling of having you this close.
Shit.
“I won’t,” you said stubbornly.
JJ squeezed his eyes shut, running a hand over his temple as if trying to think straight. You had no idea what you were doing. You were drunk. You’d regret kissing him. And if he ever saw that regret on your face, he didn’t know how he’d handle it.
Even though you were the one who kissed him, he still felt responsible for this. He shouldn’t have let you get this close. He should’ve gotten you to bed and let you sleep it off.
JJ took a steadying breath, searching your gaze for something—anything—that might reassure him. Maybe a glimmer of awareness, a sign you understood what was happening. But you were too far gone. You wouldn’t remember any of this in the morning. And even if you could think straight, the kiss was wrong. And you saying you wouldn’t regret it? That was wrong too. “You will,” he said softly but firmly, his voice unwavering. He wrapped an arm around yours and started guiding you to your room. He just wanted to erase this moment from his memory.
Not because he didn’t like it—he couldn’t let himself think about that. Whether or not he liked it didn’t matter. You were drunk, and you’d crossed a line. Worse, he’d let you. If you were sober, you wouldn’t have kissed him or gotten this close. And that hurt more than anything else.
You went quiet as you leaned against his arm. The silence persisted as he helped you to the edge of the bed. Gently, JJ eased you down to sit. You stared at the floor, saying nothing. JJ hated the silence. This shouldn’t have happened. It wasn’t supposed to happen. Finally, his voice broke the quiet, low and strained. “This is wrong... We’re friends.”
JJ knelt in front of you, meeting your eyes. He knew that. You knew that. But the weight of your actions was already heavy on him. You’d kissed him, and he was already regretting it. He couldn’t stop himself from wondering how you’d feel when he told you in the morning. Would it change things between you? He wasn’t ready to lose you—or Liliana. He wanted a lifetime of memories with both of you, of raising her together and laughing through it all. He couldn’t lose that. “Yeah, we’re friends,” you murmured softly.
The silence stretched again, and then, out of nowhere, your shoulders began to shake. You couldn’t stop the tears from spilling, your quiet sobs breaking the stillness. JJ’s eyes widened in shock. Seeing you cry tore at something inside him. He didn’t even know why you were crying. Maybe a piece of your clarity had returned. He didn’t want that—not now.
Hesitating for only a moment, JJ pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly. “Hey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” he asked, his voice laced with worry.
You didn’t answer. JJ tilted his head, resting his forehead against yours. The warmth of your breath ghosted over his skin as you shifted. When your nose brushed against his, JJ inhaled sharply, his eyes fluttering shut. His hands slid down your back, settling at your waist. You still didn’t speak, but your movements spoke volumes. JJ exhaled shakily, like he’d just lost a battle with himself. “You need to stop…” he whispered.
Suddenly, you lifted your head, and the space between you seemed to vanish. JJ’s breath hitched. He wanted this to stop—he needed it to. He knew he wouldn’t be able to control himself if it didn’t. He’d never thought of you this way, never imagined having your lips on his. But now that it had happened, everything felt… right.
Except it wasn’t.
You were drunk, and this was so, so wrong.
But when your lips touched his again, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
When JJ felt your noses brush again, he let out a shaky breath, unable to open his eyes and meet yours. He wasn’t even sure who had started it this time. But when your lips met again, JJ felt... found. Like he’d discovered something he hadn’t known he was searching for. In that moment, he pushed everything else aside—all the rules, all the lines he wasn’t supposed to cross—and tightened his arms around your waist. Instead of pulling back, he gave in, even if just for a moment.
As your lips moved together in perfect rhythm, JJ could feel his heartbeat pounding in his chest. If he’d known it would feel this right, he wouldn’t have waited until now to kiss you. Hell, he’d have done it ages ago. When your hands gripped his collar and tugged him closer, JJ didn’t resist. Taking advantage of the way you shifted back on the bed, he let you guide him, following your lead as his hand instinctively slid to your neck.
The kiss broke momentarily as you both gasped for air, but before either of you could even think, your lips found each other again. JJ forgot everything—every rule, every fear, every reason this wasn’t supposed to happen. The only thing that mattered was you. Just you.
When your fingers tangled in his hair, JJ realized he was completely at your mercy. You were insatiable, like you couldn’t get enough of him. And when your kisses turned more fervent, more desperate, he understood the shift. This wasn’t a sweet, affectionate kiss anymore. This was raw, unrestrained desire. When a soft, breathy moan escaped your lips, JJ froze.
Self-loathing hit him like a freight train. He couldn’t believe he’d let it happen again. With a jolt of awareness, he pulled back abruptly, putting distance between the two of you. As he took in the scene—the two of you on the bed, him hovering over you—he felt sick to his stomach. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t let himself take advantage of you like this.
“You’re drunk,” JJ said, his voice unsteady, his breath uneven. “You don’t know what you’re doing.” His hands trembled as he held himself back. Deep down, he wished you weren’t drunk. He wished this could be real.
Your gaze met his, and tears brimmed in your eyes. “I’m sorry,” you said, your voice cracking. But JJ knew he was the one who should be apologizing. Tomorrow morning—if he ever found the courage to bring this up—it would be on him. He was the one who was sober. He was the one who should’ve known better. He shouldn’t have let you pull him in, shouldn’t have let himself fall for it.
JJ took a deep breath and carefully helped you lie back on the bed. He brushed your hair back gently, his chest heavy with regret. Not regret for kissing you, but for doing it when you were drunk. For crossing a line when you wouldn’t even remember it. “Get some sleep, okay?” he said softly, trying to push the guilt from his tone.
As he started to pull away and leave the room, you caught his hand. “Don’t go,” you whispered.
JJ swallowed hard, his throat tightening. He shook his head slowly, refusing to look at you. “I can’t,” he said quietly. Staying would only make it worse—make him hate himself even more. But then he looked at you, and his resolve crumbled. He cursed himself silently. This wasn’t supposed to happen. None of this was.
“Please,” you said, your voice barely audible. JJ’s eyes fluttered shut, his jaw clenching. The second he walked out of that room, he knew he’d be sick. He couldn’t believe he’d let things go this far, couldn’t believe he’d put you in this position. You were his friend, and you wouldn’t remember any of this. Not a single moment.
God, he wished you were sober. If you woke up and remembered everything—if you looked at him with disgust—he wouldn’t be able to handle it. He couldn’t.
“Fine,” he said, defeated. He was terrified—terrified of you waking up and hating him. “Close your eyes,” he murmured without thinking. He couldn’t take the way you were looking at him. That look only made the guilt gnaw at him even more.
You did as he asked, your eyes fluttering shut. JJ let out a long, heavy sigh and sat down beside you. He leaned his head back, running a hand through his hair as he muttered to himself under his breath, “Why do you make me hate myself like this...”
It was close to 3 a.m., and you still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. You’d been awake for hours, but the dull ache in your head and the strange fog clouding your mind refused to lift. Some parts of last night were blurry—there were flashes of laughter, dancing, the wedding… but the details were frustratingly out of reach.
You sat curled up on the corner of the couch, sipping your coffee slowly, the warmth doing little to ease your unease. Across the room, JJ was in the kitchen, fiddling with the kettle as if it was the most intricate puzzle in the world. Normally, you were used to his easygoing, morning-person energy, but this wasn’t it. His movements were precise, almost tense, and his face carried a weird stiffness. You couldn’t make sense of it.
“My head hurts,” you finally said, breaking the suffocating silence. You were tired of his strange behavior.
JJ glanced over his shoulder, his expression unreadable. With a faint, almost forced smile, he said, “Not surprised.” But his tone betrayed something deeper, something unsaid that hung in the air.
“Not surprised?” you asked, frowning. “You’re acting weird, JJ.”
He shrugged, putting the kettle back down and leaning against the counter. His fingers raked through his hair, a telltale sign that something was bothering him. Still, he avoided your eyes. “I’m just… tired. You know, long night and all.”
But you knew it wasn’t just exhaustion. You could feel it. “Did something happen?” you asked, studying his face carefully, hoping to find a clue.
“No,” he said too quickly, his voice sharp before softening a beat later. “No, really. Just… the usual.”
His vague response only unsettled you further, but you decided not to press him. Not right now. Your headache and the foggy haze in your mind were draining enough without getting into a confrontation.
When you glanced at the clock and noticed how late it had gotten, you suddenly straightened. “I need to pick up Liliana,” you said abruptly.
JJ hesitated, his head turning to look at you like he was searching for something in your expression. “Alright,” he said cautiously. “Are you good to drive?”
“Yeah,” you replied, grabbing your bag and standing up. “She’s probably missing us by now. I should get going.”
JJ didn’t respond right away, just nodded slowly. His gaze stayed on you, heavy with something unspoken. It was like he wanted to stop you, to say something, but couldn’t find the words.
As you headed to the door and bent down to put on your shoes, you could still feel his eyes on you. It was unnerving. Pausing for a moment, you glanced back at him. “We’ll talk later,” you said, keeping your tone light but purposeful.
JJ gave another nod. “Yeah. We’ll talk.” But his words carried a weight far greater than they should have.
Sliding into the driver’s seat of your car, you couldn’t shake the strange feeling in your gut. JJ’s behavior, your pounding headache, and the scattered, blurry memories from the night before were all swirling together, leaving an uneasy knot in your stomach.
As you started the car and pulled onto the road, your phone lit up on the passenger seat. The screen showed Sarah’s name flashing as she called. Reaching over, you grabbed the phone, the knot in your stomach tightening as you answered.
Rafe hadn’t felt this vulnerable in a very long time. When he left Sarah’s house days ago, his steps were slow and heavy. Inside, a storm was raging. His thoughts collided, each crashing harder than the last. Talking to Sarah had been like a slap in the face with the truth he’d tried so hard to avoid. Hearing the things he didn’t want to hear—it had turned his whole world upside down.
Once, he’d believed the life he was living was normal. Or maybe he’d just convinced himself of that. The life he’d shaped with his own choices, every step calculated to reach his goals... He had sacrificed everything for them. Absolutely everything.
And now, there was an emptiness inside him. He’d achieved the goals he’d fought for with relentless ambition and passion, but what had they given him in return? Monotony. A quiet restlessness. His soul was weighed down with a sense of suffocation he couldn’t even admit to himself.
The moment he saw you and Liliana, everything changed. That’s when it all hit him. The scene played over and over in his mind—your icy gaze, Liliana’s delicate features that mirrored his own... her tiny hands, her green dress... Those images were burned into his memory. No matter what he did, he couldn’t erase them.
He couldn’t sleep peacefully anymore. The moment he closed his eyes, he found himself lost in a vivid dream. He was holding you in his arms, playing games in the garden with Liliana. In those dreams, he clung to the illusion of a life he might have had, a life as a father with his own family. But every morning, he woke to the harsh truth. You weren’t his. Liliana wasn’t his. That life wasn’t his.
Even throwing himself into work hadn’t helped. His mind wandered constantly, his thoughts overpowering him. There seemed to be no escape. For days, he’d stopped working entirely. Maybe, for the first time in his life, he allowed himself to just stop. To think. To try to figure out what was right.
But he never expected to see you again. For four years, there had been nothing from you. He’d lost count of how many times he’d tried to find out where you or your family were. But you’d completely cut him off. You’d disappeared from his world.
And now, after seeing you again, he didn’t know what to do. Should he fight to bring you back into his life, or was he meant to keep paying for the mistakes of his past?
Every night, he dreamed. He dreamed of making you and Liliana part of his world, even though he knew it was impossible. In those dreams, Liliana’s laughter echoed, and you smiled at him. But that smile had been lost to him in the real world long ago.
Calling Sarah had been a desperate act. He just needed to hear something—anything that could help. Again and again, he’d been met with Sarah’s irritated tone on the other end of the line. “What do you want now?” she’d asked, her exasperation unmistakable.
And Rafe’s answer was always the same: “Hey... I just... I need a favor.”
Rafe had realized his life was an illusion. The structure he thought he wanted was nothing but a trap. Seeing you had made that painfully clear. The dream of a life he might have had—holding you in his arms, hearing his daughter’s laughter, playing with her—had carved itself into his mind. But could those dreams ever become reality? Or had the wreckage of the past already swept everything away?
These questions had no answers, but Rafe had made a decision. For the first time, he felt truly lost and defenseless. The only promise he made to himself was not to repeat his mistakes. Or at least, this time, he would try.
To start, he knew he needed help. Calling Sarah, asking for her help—it meant swallowing his pride, but there was no other choice. “I just need to know where she is, Sarah,” he’d pleaded over the phone, his desperation seeping into every word.
Sarah’s reply had been sharp and definitive. “Cut the crap, Rafe. I’m not giving you her address. And if you bother her one more time, I swear you’ll ruin what’s left of the relationship between us too.”
The call ended. It hit him like a cold slap, but Rafe didn’t give up. He called again. Sent messages. Pushed Sarah to the edge of her patience. Eventually, he got a sliver of information. She mentioned a gas station stop. It was his only chance. Today.
He didn’t hesitate. He jumped into his car and sped off, his mind a whirlwind. His heart pounded, his hands gripped the steering wheel like a lifeline.
When he arrived at the gas station, his breath caught in his throat. His eyes searched for you, and finally, there you were. Through the store window, he saw you picking something off the shelf. Your eyes narrowed slightly, as if lost in thought.
For a moment, all he could do was watch. His feet felt rooted to the ground. But then he took a deep breath and forced himself forward, one heavy step at a time, toward the door. His heart raced faster with every step, his mind repeating, Is this the right thing? But he had no choice. He needed to see you. He needed to talk to you.
When he opened the door, the bell chimed softly. You turned your head, your eyes meeting his. In that instant, the world seemed to stop. Your gaze held a mix of surprise and anger, but no matter what, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from you.
Rafe shoved his hands into his pockets, hesitating as he walked toward you. His shoulders slumped slightly, his eyes unsure. He stopped a few steps away, took a deep breath, and opened his mouth, but no words came out.
“Hey,” he said finally, his voice trembling just enough to betray him.
He watched as your eyes scanned him, waiting for a response. The silence between you felt heavy.
“What are you doing here?” you asked, your tone flat, devoid of any warmth. Your brows furrowed, and your lips pressed into a thin line. You didn’t take your eyes off him.
Rafe had expected anger, maybe even an outburst. But the coldness in your voice—it stung in a way he hadn’t anticipated. It hit him somewhere deep, leaving a dull ache in its wake.
Rafe cleared his throat and briefly lowered his gaze to the floor. He’d imagined seeing you before he arrived but hadn’t thought about what he’d actually say. He tried to slip his hands into his pockets but stopped himself. His shoulders slumped, and his eyes stayed fixed on the ground. "I—I just wanted to say hi."
Your face fell into an impassive mask. The disdain for him was clear, and Rafe felt like he couldn’t breathe under the weight of it. "Alright. Hi."
Rafe forced a smile as he looked at you, his expression nervous but determined. "Hi." The silence between you stretched, thick and uncomfortable. Desperate to shift the mood, Rafe mumbled, "You look really beautiful, by the way."
Your face immediately hardened, and your eyes flashed with anger, as if you couldn’t believe what he had just said. The hiss that escaped your lips made Rafe regret his words instantly. He’d crossed the line. "Cut the nonsense, Rafe. Can you leave, please?"
Rafe tensed but took a step back. His hands remained buried in his pockets, and he dropped his head slightly, cursing himself. He’d had one chance, and he’d ruined it—like he always did. He pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled before lowering his hand again. "I—I’m sorry. Really."
He had barely turned to leave when your voice stopped him cold.
"For what?"
Rafe froze, his shoulders stiffening. Slowly, he turned back, confusion etched across his face. He understood the question, but was this really the time for this conversation? Of course, he expected you to hate him. He just hadn’t thought he’d get under your skin so quickly. "What?"
"For what are you apologizing?" you repeated, your voice shaking but firm. Despite being in a public place, you struggled to keep it down, your anger barely restrained. "Did you honestly think you could just show up and casually talk to me? Like this is some kind of fucking joke?"
Rafe raised his hands in a helpless gesture. Of course, you were right. What had he been thinking? "No. I—I just wanted to see if you were okay."
Your brows knitted together as you crossed your arms, stepping closer to him. Rafe felt his entire body tense. "That’s none of your business. Why do you even care if I’m okay? You didn’t care five years ago."
Rafe dropped his head. No matter what you said, you would always be right. He didn’t even have the words to defend himself. "I know."
"You know?" Your voice climbed, sharp and incredulous, as you jabbed a finger toward him. "Fuck off, Rafe!"
His breathing quickened, but he didn’t back away. This wasn’t how he imagined this would go, but—what did he expect? That you’d run into his arms and forgive everything he’d done? He had deluded himself into thinking you were still the person he used to know. "Look, I’m trying—"
"I don’t want to hear it!" You raised a hand to cut him off, your voice louder than you intended.
Rafe took a step closer. "I swear—"
"I don’t want to hear it!" you yelled, your voice trembling but resolute. Rafe exhaled deeply, defeated. He hated this. Hated himself. He’d never be anything but a source of shame in your eyes.
Rafe fell silent, guilt etched into every line of his face. He ran a hand through his hair, then took a step back. The quiet between you became unbearable. You took a deep breath, closing your eyes as the words forced their way out. "It’s over. It’s been over for years. That’s it. You didn’t want—"
"Don’t say it," Rafe interrupted, his voice low but thick with emotion. Every word was weighted with regret.
"You said, ‘Get rid of it!’ You didn’t want it! That’s why it ended," you snapped, your voice breaking as tears welled in your eyes. You didn’t back down, though. Rafe hated seeing you like this, hated knowing he was the reason for it.
Rafe spread his hands helplessly, unsure of what to do. If you had told him back then, he would’ve accepted it with joy. But back then, he’d been a fool—a selfish, spineless coward desperate for his father’s approval. "I wasn’t thinking straight!"
"Don’t give me that shit, Rafe." A bitter laugh escaped your lips, almost like you were exhaling your pain. You turned your gaze away, shaking your head.
"I wasn’t in a good place," he whispered. But even he knew that no excuse could erase what he’d done. He wasn’t trying to absolve himself—he couldn’t. He was just…lost.
Your laughter cut through him, sharp and bitter. "Right. Because your mistakes were all about your ‘bad mental state.’ Not because you’re just a shitty person! Enough, Rafe! This conversation is pointless. You’ve got a new life—without me. And we’ve got ours—without you. Let it go."
You gave him one last look, lowering the finger you’d been pointing at him. Turning on your heel, you took a step to leave.
Panic flared in Rafe’s chest. He couldn’t let it end like this. He’d made every mistake imaginable, but he couldn’t bear to add another one to the pile. He had to try. And if it didn’t work—well, at least he tried.
"I want to meet her."
You stopped in your tracks. The step you were about to take hung in the air before slowly retreating. You turned to him, eyes blazing with fury.
"Liliana—"
"Don’t you dare!" you shouted, pointing a trembling finger at him as you stormed toward him. Rafe stayed rooted in place, letting your fury wash over him. Of course, you were angry. You had every right to be. He just wished—wished he could turn back time and fix everything. "How dare you? Do you think it’s that simple?!"
Rafe recoiled slightly, carefully choosing his words. He didn’t want to hurt you more than he already had—or dig himself into an even deeper hole. "I don’t mean to say the wrong thing."
"I don’t care what you mean!" you snapped, your voice cutting through him like a knife. He watched as your expression shifted, protective and fierce. "You’re not meeting her!"
"Don’t make me use force," Rafe said, his voice trembling but firm. He regretted it instantly. He shouldn’t have said it. It wasn’t true. He’d never do that. Never. It was a fleeting moment—an impulsive lapse. He needed to think before speaking. Shit.
You flinched. Then, with a bitter laugh, you stepped closer and shoved him in the chest. Rafe let you. He shouldn’t have spoken like an idiot. He should’ve stayed calm.
“What are you going to do? Sue me? Go ahead! Does your father even know you have a kid? Everything you’ve built—your stupid little empire—it’ll all crumble! Are you really going to do it? Because you won’t. You’re a coward, and you always have been.”
Rafe’s eyes hardened. “I will,” he said, his tone low but sharp with determination. He could. He had the power. Lawyers, connections—it was all on his side. But he couldn’t do it to you.
You froze, staring at him in shock.
Rafe stepped closer, taking a deep breath and holding out his hands as if trying to calm the storm. He didn’t want this to escalate, and he knew you didn’t want it either. "But I won’t do that. That’s not the point. I want to be in Liliana’s life. I’m going to tell my father.”
You watched his brows furrow as he exhaled. You were right—if he wanted to be a father, his family needed to know. And if you allowed it, they had a right to be informed. But even if you didn’t allow it, he’d still tell them. They wouldn’t take it well. He couldn’t predict what would happen, but he was done hiding. He was done being a coward.
“What?” you asked, disbelief and frustration tightening your voice.
“I’m going to tell them. No matter what.” He took a deep breath, his voice softening. It was almost as if the confident man standing before everyone else had deflated before you. He could barely hold your gaze. He knew he didn’t deserve you.
“You’re lying,” you said, stepping back. Your voice carried not just doubt but a deep-rooted unwillingness to believe him. You didn’t want to.
“I swear I’m not.” Rafe lifted his head, his eyes meeting yours with a certainty that startled you. He would do it. In fact, he should have done it from the beginning, back when you told him you were pregnant. He was already too late.
You didn’t want to believe him. But the resolve in his eyes—he’d never looked more sincere.
Rafe drew in a deep breath and spoke, his gaze never wavering from yours. “I want them to know. Everything. I—” His voice cracked, but he pressed on. “I’m not making any more mistakes. I can’t afford to.”
Your brows knit together, your face hardening. You took a long, deliberate breath, though it was clear you were barely keeping your emotions in check. “Rafe, if this backfires on us—I don’t want it. I don’t want Liliana or me dragged into this mess.”
Rafe hesitated for a moment, then shook his head firmly. “It won’t. I promise.” He wouldn’t let it. Not ever.
Your voice rose, insistent. “Rafe—”
He cut you off, stepping closer. “No. I won’t let that happen. I’m not that stupid, irresponsible kid you left behind anymore. That person...he’s gone. He’s gone for good.”
You let out a sharp breath, rolling your eyes as you shook your head. “I don’t trust you. I just—can’t.”
The guilt etched deep into Rafe’s face made him drop his gaze. He nodded silently, as if accepting it. He hated himself for this. If one of his friends had done what he had, Rafe would’ve ripped them apart for their irresponsibility, for being such a terrible person. And he knew—that’s exactly what he was. A terrible person.
“I know. It’s going to take everything to prove myself to you, and I get that. But…”
You squinted at him, your eyes sharp and wary. “Liliana thinks her dad’s in space,” you said flatly, your voice dripping with sarcastic calm.
Rafe blinked in surprise. His eyebrows shot up, lips parting as the faintest spark of humor lit his expression. His heart raced at the absurdity of it. “What?”
“Yes,” you said, shrugging. “I told her her dad’s an astronaut. He’s so far away he can’t come see her. If you step into her life, there’s no stepping out again. If you think for one second you can’t handle this, don’t even bother starting.”
Your voice was firm, your gaze sharp as steel. “And—I need time to think.”
Rafe nodded but never took his eyes off you. “I’m not going anywhere. I won’t leave her again. No matter what, I won’t lose Liliana. I swear it.”
For a moment, silence hung between you. His seriousness, his unyielding resolve—it threw you off balance. You studied him with narrowed eyes, his words echoing in your mind. They made you uneasy. You hated feeling this way.
“Fine. I’ll think about it,” you said at last, your voice tempered, the anger giving way to a measured determination.
Rafe exhaled deeply, relief softening his expression. “Thank you,” he murmured, his voice quiet.
You lifted your chin, your eyes cold as ever. “I’m not doing this for you.”
This wasn’t a decision you could make on your own. It never had been, and it never could be.
When you returned home with Liliana, you had every intention of explaining everything to JJ. But as soon as you walked through the door, Liliana insisted on playing a game with JJ. Knowing you couldn’t discuss something this heavy in her presence, you simply went along with it. But JJ was no fool. He had picked up on something being off.
He’d been tense since you’d seen him that morning. While playing with Liliana, he would steal glances at you, checking on you like he was trying to piece together a puzzle.
You had no idea what was bothering him, but that nagging weight in your chest wouldn’t go away. You wanted to just tell him and be done with it. You couldn’t handle this alone—especially not when you and JJ shared a home and were raising a child together.
This wasn’t just your decision to make. No, it would affect JJ too. Practically speaking, the two of you were living together. Sure, JJ had his own place, but he barely used it. He’d take Liliana to school sometimes, decide what she’d eat, and even join you for her daycare events.
Whatever you did for Liliana, JJ did as well. He cared for her as much as you did. At night, he’d kiss her goodnight just as you would. The choice ahead of you wouldn’t just impact your life or Liliana’s—it would alter JJ’s too.
You had to talk to him. You needed to unload this unease and find some relief.
When Liliana and JJ finished playing, your eyes immediately sought his. He was already looking at you. When you held his gaze for a second too long, JJ quickly turned back to Liliana. “Go on, give Mommy a kiss, then you can go upstairs and play with your dolls.” He planted a kiss on her hair and stood up.
Your attention shifted to Liliana as she waddled over to you. “Want some coffee?” JJ asked just as Liliana climbed onto the couch and wrapped her tiny arms around your neck.
“Yes, please,” you replied as her kisses landed on your cheeks. Smiling, you kissed her back. “Now I’m going to play with my dolls. I love you, Mommy,” she chirped, pulling away.
“I love you too, sweetheart,” you said, watching as she clambered down and carefully made her way upstairs. Your eyes lingered on her until she disappeared at the top of the stairs.
JJ headed to the kitchen, and you felt the weight of your discomfort pressing down on you. You knew he’d bring you coffee, just like always, but this time, sitting in silence and ignoring the elephant in the room wasn’t an option. You had to talk. The life you shared, the responsibilities you both carried—everything had been thrown off balance by Rafe’s unexpected move. And you needed to know where JJ stood on all of it.
When JJ returned with two cups of coffee, the exhaustion etched on his face hit you immediately. He set your cup in front of you and sank into the opposite chair, staring down at his coffee in silence. You recognized this—the way JJ withdrew when something weighed heavily on him. You’d seen it many times before.
“JJ,” you said, not bothering to hide the determination in your voice. He hesitated for a moment before finally lifting his gaze to meet yours. The calm you were used to seeing in his eyes had been replaced by something much harder to read.
“Something happened,” you said, noticing the way his brows instantly furrowed.
“I know,” he murmured, his voice steady but tinged with something fragile. “I’ve been waiting for you to say it. Go ahead.”
You took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm within you. “Rafe,” you said, hoping that single word would convey everything.
JJ’s expression hardened instantly. He straightened in his seat, his protective instincts kicking in. “What happened?”
Your hands tightened around your coffee cup as you steadied yourself. “He… he wants to be in Liliana’s life,” you said, the words feeling heavy as they left your mouth. “He told me as much. And it doesn’t feel like something I can decide on my own. It’s not just my decision to make.” You trailed off, watching JJ’s face shift—from shock to anger and finally to a resigned sort of disbelief.
JJ’s gaze dropped to the floor. His hands remained on the cup, his fingers whitening with the grip, but his eyes stayed fixed on the ground. You wanted so badly to read his thoughts, but he gave nothing away. He just sat there, silent. And that silence unnerved you more than any outburst ever could.
It was driving you mad. You waited for him to speak—to say yes, no, anything. When it came to Liliana, your emotions were always raw, and thinking clearly was difficult. You needed JJ to ground you. “Say something,” you whispered, your voice betraying the helplessness you felt.
“Are you meeting him?” JJ finally asked, his voice barely audible. The room felt eerily quiet, the kind of silence that pressed down on your chest. You noticed his knuckles whitening further as he clutched his cup, his gaze still glued to the floor.
You shook your head quickly. “No. He came to me. I didn’t go to him. I didn’t call him—he found me. I would never willingly see him.” You paused, your voice trembling. “He… he saw us a few days ago. And today, when I went to pick up Liliana, he was at the gas station.” You swallowed hard, bracing for JJ’s reaction. You wanted him to lash out—to yell, to be angry at someone—but he didn’t. He just sat there.
“You’re her mother,” he said at last, his words cutting like a blade. His tone wasn’t comforting—it was almost dismissive. You’d hoped for guidance, for support, but his response left you feeling more alone.
“JJ—” you began, but he cut you off sharply. His gaze never lifted as he leaned back in his chair, taking a sip of his coffee. His reactions were impossible to decipher.
“This is your choice.”
“You know it’s not that simple,” you countered, your heart pounding as you leaned forward, trying to draw his attention. You needed him to look at you, to see you, but he remained where he was, unmoving.
“Alright, suit yourself.” JJ’s voice was flat, his tone monoton once again. You could feel your frustration rising, but you knew it stemmed from sadness.
“Wait,” you said, your voice trembling. You couldn’t make this decision alone.
“No, this is your choice.” JJ took a sip from his coffee. You had no idea how to change his mind. He kept throwing out these ridiculous comments and expected you to agree. And—it wasn’t like him at all. He spoke as if—as if he’d never been part of Liliana’s life. As if he hadn’t been there raising her alongside you.
“JJ—”
“Maybe you should move in together. You, Liliana, and Rafe. Picture-perfect family, what do you think?” His lips curled into a sarcastic smirk, and your jaw dropped. That bitter smile on his face made you feel utterly defeated. Did he even realize how ridiculous he sounded? These weren’t your words at all.
“Maybe you’ll rekindle your great love, hmm? Have another kid—” You couldn’t take it anymore. Did he not know you at all? Hadn’t he seen everything you’d been through? How could he talk like this?
Besides—you had come to him for advice. To figure out what to do as a team. It’s not like you had run to JJ impulsively to say yes to Rafe’s offer. You hadn’t even accepted it!
“You know I didn’t say that!” you yelled, unable to hold back your anger any longer. The realization that Liliana was upstairs hit you hard, and you closed your eyes tightly, taking a shaky breath to calm yourself before opening them again.
“I came to you for advice,” you said, the words catching in your throat. “To tell you this isn’t a decision I can make alone. And you’re—you’re saying all this to me?” The disappointment was written all over your face. You wanted to talk this through together, not deal with it on your own.
JJ gave a hollow chuckle as he stood up. When he slammed his coffee mug onto the table, you flinched. He ran his hands through his hair, pacing. “Maybe you’ll leave Asheville, move back to the Outer Banks. Start over with Rafe.” He turned his back on you, one hand resting on his hip while the other rubbed his temple. A frustrated sigh escaped him.
His words hit you like a slap. You stood abruptly. “You’re being cruel,” you said, your voice shaking. You cursed yourself as you felt your lips begin to tremble. You hated crying.
JJ’s face hardened. The anger seemed to drain from him, replaced by that same flat tone. “It’s not my place to decide. You’re her parent.”
“Me? Just me? So you weren’t her parent when you changed her diapers, stayed up with her when she cried at night, or showed up for her daycare events? Do you not see that Liliana views you as a father figure in her life?” Your voice cracked, as shattered as your emotions. You couldn’t stand how foolish he was being—or how he was acting. He wasn’t listening to you. “Does being a family only count if there’s blood involved?”
JJ paused for a moment, then sighed deeply, shaking his head. “Rafe’s her father. If he wants to be part of her life, you should let him.”
You threw your hands up in exasperation. “Stop talking like that!” you cried, desperation creeping into your tone.
JJ turned to you sharply, frustration etched into his features. He stepped closer, pointing a finger at you. “Didn’t you ask for my opinion? I just gave it to you. But know this—if he’s in her life, he’ll be in yours too. Whether you like it or not.”
That final sentence struck a nerve, and the storm inside you intensified. Before you could respond, JJ cut you off again. “You’ll fall for him again—” His smile was bitter, filled with pain.
You couldn’t take another second of this. “Do you think I forgot what he did to me?!” you shouted, interrupting him. “He left me when I was three months pregnant! Do you think I’m stupid enough to forgive that?!”
“I didn’t say that,” JJ muttered, his voice lower, but his words cut like a blade. “But you won’t be able to control your feelings.”
“You have no idea how I feel!” you snapped, anger and heartbreak tangled together in your voice. When you noticed a faint smirk tugging at JJ’s lips, your brows furrowed.
“You’re absolutely right,” he said, his tone strangely hollow. He nodded as if conceding your point, his tongue running over his teeth. “I really don’t.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked, shaken by how cold and distant he had become. His words were so cryptic, so frustratingly vague, it felt like he was mocking you.
“I don’t know. What do I mean?” he replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he shook his head. You couldn’t shake the feeling that he knew something you didn’t.
It felt like you were trapped in an endless loop. When JJ began gathering his things from the table, your heart clenched. Despite everything, you didn’t want him to leave. No matter what he said—you couldn’t bear for him to turn his back on you. This couldn’t be happening.
As your anger faded into pure worry, you watched him with rising panic. You took a step forward, but he had already packed up. No. This couldn’t be it. You couldn’t let Rafe ruin your life all over again. “Where—JJ, wait. Please.”
JJ headed for the door, and you quickly followed, grabbing his arm. When he turned to face you, your eyes brimmed with tears. You didn’t want him to leave. You didn’t want this to end in anger and heartbreak. “Please—please, don’t go. Don’t.”
“I need some air,” he said, his voice soft but firm. His eyes locked with yours, and for a moment, his expression softened.
“I’ll stop talking, I swear—” you rushed out, desperate to keep him from leaving. You were ready to beg if it came to that. This wasn’t worth losing him over, not something so small. It didn’t have to escalate like this.
“I’ll come back,” he said. His tone was steady, reassuring. But you didn’t want him to go, not even for a moment. Even if it meant sitting in silence together, you needed him to stay. You weren’t used to him walking away.
“I really will stop—” you started again, your voice trembling. Your hands briefly reached for his arm before falling back to your sides, unsure of what to do.
JJ looked away, threading his fingers through his hair in frustration. His fingers raked through his blond strands, his face tense and brooding. His brows were furrowed, and the muscle in his jaw tightened slightly. When he finally turned back to you, his gaze was a mixture of emotions—no anger, but a deep, aching disappointment.
“I don’t want you to stop talking,” he said, his voice lower than usual, but it carried a quiet intensity. “If I stay, we’ll just hurt each other more.” He hesitated, drawing in a long, controlled breath before stepping back further. “I just need some space to calm down. I’ll come back.”
“I’m sorry—” you murmured, your hand instinctively reaching out to him again before stopping mid-air. You were scared to touch him, scared it might push him further away.
“Don’t.” JJ stepped back another pace, lifting his hand slightly as if to hold you at bay. “I’m not mad at you.” His gaze met yours, and beneath the resolve in his eyes, you could see how fragile he felt, even if he didn’t want to admit it.
“Yes, you are. You’re mad at me. I shouldn’t have brought it up,” you insisted, your voice barely above a whisper.
JJ froze for a moment, exhaling deeply as he looked away. His hands fell to his sides, and he shook his head slowly, as if wrestling with something. “Why shouldn’t you have brought it up?” he asked, his voice rough around the edges. When his eyes met yours again, there was pain in them, not directed at you but at himself. “This has always been your choice. I only said what I did because I care about you. I’m not angry at you—how could I be? How could I ever be angry at you?”
He paused, his gaze drifting somewhere distant. His fingers fidgeted unconsciously near the pocket of his jeans, and his lips pressed into a thin line before parting again. “I’m angry at myself,” he admitted quietly, so quietly you almost didn’t hear him.
His words stopped you in your tracks. Looking at his face, you realized there was something he wasn’t saying, something he was holding back. But you couldn’t bring yourself to ask. Asking might shatter the fragile tension that still tethered you together.
JJ stood motionless for a long moment, then turned and walked toward the door. He stopped just before opening it, resting his hand on the frame. His fingertips gripped the edge so tightly they turned white. Without looking back, he stepped out. The door closed with a soft but final thud, the sound echoing through the room, leaving the air heavier than before.
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I saw your earlier post on Platonic fics and Im a sucker for them so here u go : father figure stanford headcannons maybe takes place after he comes back from the portal, reader is an adventurous spirit that works at the shack and maybe secretly helped stan get his brother back? Idk im just throwing things here lol
You Know I Love You Still
Stanford x daughter!reader
💗 stanford dad hc!!
💗 i literally saw the request it and started writing and got a lil carried away 😭 its like half story half hc? if that makes sense
💗 requests r so open rn! i def dont have any fav requests… (anything platonic or familial will be the first ones i write i LOVE those types of requests)
💗 the age of the reader is young like 16/17? ik that lowkey contradicts with the time line but wtv STANFORD DAD HC!!
💗 it’s a little bit of everything? like it’s not only just reader and stanford, the twins r also included in some scenarios and also stan
💗 a big happy family 😭
💗 fem reader gulp i completely didnt realize until i was done that i used she/her when referring to the reader
💗 next fic will use gender neutral pronouns I SWUEAR!!
💗2k words
💗 i apologize for rhe misspell and mistakes i didnt catch in advance
Working together with your Uncle Stan to build the portal to bring your dad back to the right dimension was tiresome. Nights were sleepless and many of them were spent in the underground lab, where you and Stan did everything possible to assemble the portal. Trying to keep such a secret away from the twins and Soos was unexpectedly hard. The knowledge of hiding someone so vital to you and to your Uncle Stan was weighing down on you and him. Then came the day where his awaited arrival was promised. You could barely sleep that night. You thought of so many different possibilities and scenarios of how you would greet him. Would he remember you? Did he ever miss you? Does he even love you?!
The next day came in like a tornado and before you knew it, you were protectively standing in front of the button; trying your absolute hardest to prevent the twins from pressing the button.
“Why do you guys want to stop the portal so badly!” You yelled over the loud swirling wind that emitted from the portal. “Because it’s dangerous!” Dipper retorted, using his arm to shield him from the debris whizzing past him. “G-Grunkle Stan isn’t who he says he is!” Dipper said, stepping closer to you.
“Whatever you guys saw or heard isn’t what you think it is! Please, you need to believe me.” You begged, your eyes brimming with tears. You’ve worked so hard to get this portal up and running and you weren’t going to let Dipper or anyone stop you from being able to see your dad.
Soos came up from behind and wrapped his arms around you. “I’m sorry, dude.” He picked you up and took you away from the button. “Soos, no!” You thrashed around his hold. You pound your fists against his arms, hoping it’ll loosen his grip on you but nothing you did worked. No matter how much you begged and fought against him, he didn’t budge. He just held you closer to him, muttering ‘I’m Sorry’ under his breath.
“This all stops now!” Dipper raised his hand, palm flattened out, ready to push the button when Stan appeared at the doorway. “Don’t touch that button!”
He’s hunched forward, hand leaning on the frame of the doorway as he pants. Relief washes over you upon seeing Stan. Silence fills the room for a minute and all you can hear is your heart hammer against your ribcage. Stan walks towards Dipper, beckoning him to not press the button.
“If you just let me explain—“ He’s cut off by his watch repeatedly beeping. Suddenly the ground begins to shake.
The portal powers up and the circle enlarges. The electricity spazzes and travels throughout the room, creating streaks of electrical power. Your feet lift off the ground and soon everyone’s floating up in the air. The wind is fierce and it’s whipping through every direction, pushing you towards the wall.
Dipper yells at Mable to turn off the portal before it causes anymore damage. She tugs herself closer to the button using a stray cable and while she wraps herself around the neck holding up the button, Stan is begging her to listen to him and to not press the button. He’s soon tackled by Soos who pushes him away from Mable. They all fight with each other and you’re watching with a bated breath.
The portal pulses with power, sending you back first into the wall. Stan and Dipper bicker back and forth and Mable is torn with the decision of either believing her brother or her Grunkle. She lowers her hand, eyes closed and you're almost convinced she’s going to press the button when she lets go of the button. She floats up with her arms raised. “Grunkle Stan, I believe you.” She says.
“Mable, are you crazy?! We’re all gonna—!”
The world flashes white and you're immediately knocked out. You awaken to yourself plummeting face first down to the floor. You groan, pushing yourself up with one hand and the other wiping off the dust on your face. Looking around you can see your family scattered around the room, each of them slowly waking up from whatever happened and stumbling back to their feet.
Your head quickly whips towards the portal and your heart lurches into your throat upon seeing a figure step out of it. He stands still, staring straight ahead as he takes off his hood and goggles. And what hid behind them was your father.
After the initial shock of meeting the one behind the three books and the reveal of him being related to Stan was pushed aside, you presented yourself with the help of Stan. “H-Hi, Dad.” You awkwardly greet yourself.
His eyes stop on you and he freezes, eyes blown wide and mouth slightly ajar. He takes a minute to process the absurdity of the situation before he’s snapping back to consciousness. He blinks once, his mouth stuttering as he finds the right words to say. He then blinks again, stepping a cautious step towards you. Your name softly spills out of his mouth and your heart soars hearing your Dad finally utter your name again.
You take a step forward and then another and another until you’re face to face with him. Being closer to him allowed you to see how much he has aged since the last time you saw him. “Dad…” You whisper, throwing yourself into him.
A light wheeze escapes his mouth from the sudden impact of your body crashing on him. Once he recovers, his arms are quickly wrapped around you, hugging you with so much warmth and love you almost sobbed right then and there.
He snuggled his face against your hair, breathing in your familiar scent he missed so dearly while he was away. “We have so much to catch up on.” You say so quietly that he almost lost your words if it wasn’t for you being directly near his ear. He hums in affirmation, cherishing the long awaited reunion with his daughter.
“I feel like this is another part where one of us faints again.” Mable says in utter disbelief at the scene that unfolded in front of her. “Ohoh!” Soos laughed out. “I’m so on it, dudes.” As if on command his eyes roll to the back of his head and he faints flat on his back.
HEADCANON TIME!!
• You weren’t really expecting to talk to him much due to Stan wanting to talk to his brother, but after their fight, he came looking for you. When he found you, you were sitting on the couch that was outside on the porch. You were reading a book you recently purchased from the bookstore. Nose deep in your book, you failed to realize Ford standing beside you. His hands were shoved in the pockets of his trench coat. Quietly he asked, “Is there room for one more?”
• The night was spent with the two of you getting to know each other. From your favorite color to your favorite show, what food you like to eat and so on. Ford wanted to fully understand and know you as a person. He wanted to make up all the years he lost with you.
• The next day, you awoke to the smell of your favorite breakfast food being cooked. With haste you pushed your blanket off of you and slipped on your slippers and sped off into the kitchen where Ford was buttering the pan. He looked over to you and flashed you a smile. “I made you your favorite.” He said, motioning over to the table where he laid out your breakfast. “You didn’t have to do this.” You scratched your cheek, a small laugh of surprise leaving you. “I’m just doing what I always dreamed of doing.” He shoveled out his breakfast onto his plate using a spatula. “How’s the food, kiddo?” He asks, placing the pan and spatula on the dirty side of the sink. “Actually pretty good for someone who hasn't been in this dimension for over a decade!” You jest, taking another delicious bite from your breakfast. Ford jokingly rolled his eyes, ruffling your hair as he walked past you and sat down on his chair. “Already poking fun at me.” He said, shaking his head.
• Stanford knew he had to focus on his projects, he had so many things he left unfinished that he'd been dying to get his hands on the minute he stepped foot into his dimension. But he couldn’t seem to pull himself away from you. He loved seeing you interact with the twins, he loved watching how pieces of his personality shone through you. Like the way you’re so meticulous with where you put things, or how you were forever curious about the things around you, and even the abundance of questions you’d mutter to yourself as you discovered something new. That’s all of him right there, in front of him and he couldn’t grasp such a thought that you were his!
• He finds himself gazing upon baby photos Stan took of you when you were younger. Even if he’s angry at his twin currently, he’s forever grateful that he documented such beautiful memories in a scrapbook. “Y’know, I used to tell stories about you to her.” A shriek leaves Ford. He jumps forward, the scrapbook tumbling down his lap and onto the floor. “You idiot! Be careful.” Stan sneered, kneeling down to the floor to pick up the scrapbook. “Stanley!” Ford leans his head back, trying to regain his composure. “You scared me!” He says. “Yeah, yeah. I know.” Stan waves him off, grabbing the scrapbook and tucking it in between his arms. They stand in awkward silence, eyes darting around the place uneasily. “Did…” Ford starts, shattering the silence. “Did she like the stories you told of me?” Stan smiles fondly, nodding his head. “She loved them. She thought you were some stupid amazing superhero, no matter what I told her.” Ford furrowed his brows. “Wait, what do you mean by no matter what you told her?” Stan nervously laughed. “Hey, why don’t you keep looking at these photos! Wait here, look at this one. Haha! She’s trying to eat her toes, isn’t that adorable?” “Stanley.”
• Outings between the two of you were very common. He loved being tugged around the town of Gravity Falls by you as you pointed at various different shops and locations. You told him the reasons why you hated them or loved them, and some were tied to stories that happened within the summer. He seriously questioned how you and the twins survived so many times where you were just so close to death. The mall was a place where you and him resided the most. With the money he took from Stan, he paid for almost everything you wanted. Entering the shack with so many bags was a shock to everyone. “Woah! Did you buy the whole mall?” Mable jokes, grabbing one of the bags to help you with the load. “Basically,” you laughed, instructing Mable to rally Soos and Dipper to have a little haul of what you bought. Stan watched with a raised brow as you stumbled into the living room with Mable following closely behind. “Where did you get all the money to buy her all of that?” Stan asks. “Just stole some money from some hobo.” Ford said, walking into the living room to join in on the haul. Stan didn’t understand what he said and opened the cash register. When he saw all the money he had stored the day before gone, it all clicked.
• Adventures out in the woods is a must. Gathering the twins and your dad, all four of you venture out into the woods in hopes to find something new. “Why couldn’t Grunkle Stan tag along with us?” Mable asked as she kneeled down to pluck a flower from the dirt. “Because he’s being a wet towel.” Dipper muttered, scribbling down a rough drawing of the flower Mable was picking in a book you bought him. “So what kind of anomalies you three stumbled upon?” Ford questioned. You and the twins began to dump everything onto him, from when you started seeing them to when Dipper and Mable came. Ford couldn’t truly focus on what they were saying, mostly because it was a jumbled excited mess of words, but partially because he was astonished with the trio in front of him. They went through so much and yet they’re still so headstrong. He could definitely see a little bit of him in Dipper and Mable.
• Stan would find you and Ford fallen asleep on the couch or in his lab, all huddled up together and completely knocked out. Snores filled the room and he found it amusing that you and him both snores the same. Videos and photos were definitely taken by Mable.
• Ford would tell stories of his adventures in another dimension to you. Stemming from how he started from the ground up to him getting banned from many other dimensions for stealing parts. “You’re not so different from Uncle Stan,” You laughed, shaking your head. “What! It was only a few…hundred dimensions.”
• There’s times where you’d wake up in a cold sweat, afraid that your Dad finally coming back was just a painful dream your brain played on you. But when you would get ready to find him, you’d step on his stomach or back. “Ough!” Ford groaned out in pain. Being suddenly woken up from his sleep, he sat up, looking around confused. “What are you doing sleeping on the floor?” You sat back down on your bed, pulling the blankets over you. “Is there a problem with me sleeping on the floor?” Ford asks, looking at you with squinted eyes. “No, no.” You laid back down on your bed. “Go back to sleep. I’m better now,” You say, somewhat amused with Ford sleeping on the floor beside your bed. “Goodnight, I love you.” You brush your fingers playfully across his face to annoy him. He shoves your fingers away from his face, huffing out. “Goodnight,” He shuffles to his side, looking up to you with a small smile. “I love you more, kiddo.”
#stanford pines x reader#stanford pines x daughter#stanford pines x child#stanford pines#stanford pines x daughter! reader#stanford pines x child! reader#stanley pines x reader#stanley pines x daughter! reader#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls#dipper pines x sibling!reader#mable pines x sibling!reader#dipper pines x reader#mable pines x reader
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some bittersweet thoughts abt dating aventurine / sunday after playing 2.1…
firstly, I think I underestimated how hard it would be to get into a relationship with someone like aventurine,, he would need to trust you immensely in order to even attempt dating you
but once you do date him, he’s still very hesitant on being affectionate towards you
he had lost everything, everyone that was dear to him, so the idea of having someone he could lose again scares him
he’s careful not to grow too attached to you, always keeping you at an arms distance despite how much you love and care for him
every morning, he makes sure he wakes up before you so he can leave your side early. it’s not that he doesn’t want to be around you during such vulnerable moments, no, but rather he fears he’ll get too attached to you
he makes sure to tuck you in and press a sweet kiss to your forehead as he smiles to himself sadly before heading out
if you ask him about his reasoning behind leaving so early, he’ll just make excuses and dismiss it as ipc work (there’s a whole angsty idea I have for this related to believing he’s cheating but idk if I should write it)
you try your best to be understanding, staying by his side and comforting him whenever he needs it
in return, he spoils you using his immense wealth
see a necklace you like? no worries, just tell him—tabs always on him after all. want to go out for dinner? of course, the most luxurious restaurant rented out just for the two of you.
it’s his way of making up for his distant nature towards you, he’ll even allow you to hear some stories about his past such as the day he got branded as a slave as he stares at you with a soft gaze and a subtly melancholic smile (he even permits you to call him by his real name, kakavasha!)
with sunday, I believe he’d be a tad bit paranoid when it comes to you
as a neat freak who desperately needs control over anything and everything, he feels like he needs to have some form of control over you as well
you’re very dear and precious to him after all, and he can’t just allow you to slip away from his hands like how robin did
his little bird servants are watching you day and night, making sure you don’t get into any trouble
and at the end of the day, he always asks you regarding what you did the entire day while using his ability to make others tell the truth—he has to make sure you didn’t do anything that would potentially get you into danger, no?
he feels guilty and regretful for resorting to such methods to ensure your complete safety, but he tells himself it’s better to be safe than sorry
if he can, he’ll try to have you by his side as much as possible so he can have you directly under his watch and protect you if necessary
he makes sure to handle you extra delicately and gently, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he helps you wash your hair
he even allows you privileges such as touching his sensitive wings as well as his halo, hoping it helps convey just how special you are to him
to him, you’re safer under his watchful eye and control as the two of you happily spend your days together
if anyone had even dared to imply that they would harm you, sunday would deal with it immediately and make sure you would never see them again
even with all the dirty work he does, you’ll understand, won’t you? everything he does is for you, after all.
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