#just want to get this out of myself and know who I am more

[reasonreblogs]

Same for both. The thing with explaining the reasons with an apology for me is part of the “I recognize how this action was wrong and how I ended up doing this thing that hurt you. I will be making an effort to stop this behavior. I hope you feel okay calling me out on it going forward. I want to assure you that I am aware of what I did, why I did it, that I am going to be working on it, that this hurt you, and that I’m sorry I did this.”

To me the reasons and why it happened shows that they understand and how likely they are to keep doing the same things or if thy ran it, that kind of thing. I’ve had someone who was basically overdosing on Xanax day spent the most horrible shit to me, hitting every insecurity I had about our friendship and after the fact *not* apologize and just said something like “I didn’t reply mean it, I just said crazy shit because I was prescribed a higher dose of Xanax than a person should be.”

Like… okay, I get that… and… it would mean something if you said “I’m sorry, I know it hurt you and I said a lot of things I knew would hurt most. I didn’t know I was prescribed higher dose than I should’ve been until recently and it really fucked with my head in a way that I wasn’t myself.” Instead, I wasn’t sure if she actually meant what she said looking back or if she’d do it again only without her mind being fucked up.

She gave the reason without the apology which made it an excuse and a “so you can’t be upset with anything I said” when she could scroll back and see exactly the things she said to me even if she didn’t quite remember. However, with an apology, I would be able to believe she didn’t mean it and was in a state of mind where she was actively looking to be as hurtful as possible rather than actually believing hat she said. It’s kind of like how some people go turn out to be suicidal try to make everyone around them hate them before going through with it under the notion it’d “hurt less” when it happens. I think of one or two popular youtubers who did exactly that, posting outrageous bigoted shit before disappearing and after hearing they killed themselves, it clicked that’s what they were doing.

As for the telling a story for how thy relate (as I did above actually lol) it’s like… “listen here’s a thing I went through… to me it sounds like what you’re going through, so I hope what I did to get through it helps or if talking to someone who might understand better makes you feel okay talking about this.”

It’s like… it adds some weight or legitimacy to what the person you’re talking to is saying for me. I’d be more likely to take their advice or reflect on how I handle or perceive it vs how they might have. When someone isn’t grasping at all what you’re saying, it turns into defending why you’re feeling and going through rather than being able to just… talk about it.

Idk, been thinking on the nuance of this for a while. I like reasons, I like getting an idea on if this will happen again or not. There’s just a lot of “depends on the person/situation” tho.

[hotvintagepoll]

Trying to get more into old movies because of this blog (I only know about half of these people and feel like a poser) do you have good recommendations on where to start or is it just a situation where you watch stuff and find what you like as you go?

you are not a poser <3 i myself am just here for the hotties.

here is my quick and dirty list of fun films to start with if you're new to old movies. and of course if you like one of these, do try to find more stuff as you go! there's no bad way to try out old movies.

(this list is not official and is SUPER quick. i'm tagging for content warnings where I can, but if I forgot something let me know.)

"I want to watch something SILLY!"

The Court Jester (Danny Kaye, Angela Lansbury, Glynis Johns, Basil Rathbone)—everyone in this movie is hot. everyone is in fancy medieval dress, which makes them hotter. everyone here is very silly. You can stream this on Hoopla, last time i checked, so you might be able to stream it through your library!

Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang (Dick Van Dyke, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel Jeffries, Gert Frobe)—some people hate this movie and to them I say What Is Wrong With You. dick van dyke is a hot absent minded inventor who lives in a windmill with his two adorable children, his gorgeous sheepdog, and a grandfather who is categorically useless. it feels like the two films mary poppins (1964) and willy wonka (1971) had a baby and that baby was born on roller skates singing an old broadway showtune. this one has been showing up in some odd places lately—I think you can catch it on Tubi or Hoopla? It's definitely around.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (Jane Powell, Julie Newmar, Howard Keel, Russ Tamblyn)—my problematic fave. everytime i watch this i change my mind whether it's a sexist pile of garbage or a feminist paean, and fellas, today we're on the feminist paean bandwagon!! jane powell's millie is truly the star of the movie, she is the hero she drives the plot the narrative is on her side, and besides all that there are seven very hot men dancing next to her and six beautiful ladies making me bisexual. (on Tubi last I checked.)

The Duke Is Tops (Lena Horne, Laurence Criner)—I get a huge kick out of watching Laurence Criner and Ralph Cooper swindle everybody while also trying to put on a show; there's just something silly and sincere here, plus you get a ~musical extravaganza~ at the end when all is right as rain again. Free on YouTube I think?

"I want to watch something DRAMATIC that may make me FEEL SOMETHING."

Witness for the Prosecution (Marlene Dietrich, Tyrone Power, Elsa Lanchester)—I love a campy twisty turny mystery, don't you? :) I'm not going to talk about this one much because it's better to go in blind, but if you like Agatha Christie stories you'll probably like this.

To Be Or Not To Be (Carole Lombard, Jack Benny)—always relevant, always makes me laugh, also makes me cry. this takes place in poland during wwii so big tw for nazi imagery and mentions. (don't worry. this movie fucking hates nazis.)

Seven Samurai (Toshiro Mifune)—this one is Great Cinema™™™™™™™™™™™ for a goddamned reason

"I want to watch some stuff with the scrungles in it!"

Mr. Washington Goes to Town (Mantan Moreland)—I've been checking out more of Mantan Moreland's stuff because every time I see him in something I think he's delightful, and I really enjoyed this silly-spooky comedy. Does this story have a brain cell? No. Are the special effects and goofy slapstick fun? Yes. This is a fun example of an all-Black cast in a film that was made for Black audiences, and is a striking counterpoint to the stereotypical representation Black actors were given in white-targeted films, showing the enormous amount of talent and artistry the racist studios missed out on by excluding these actors. This is not A Great Film™ but it's still A Fun Time,™ with a goofy Laurel and Hardy type vibe. (It's free on Youtube.)

The Red Shoes (Robert Helpmann, Leonide Massine, Marius Goring)—hey kid, you wanna watch something fucked up? This movie is so fucked up. It's about ballet, it's about art, it's about technicolor, it's about dance and toxic relationships and making theatre and nightmares and ambition and death. A lot of these recs tend on the silly side (because I tend on the silly side) but this one is actually Serious Film and will definitely help you chat up Martin Scorsese should you ever meet him. Big content warning if you can't handle dark themes right now—this movie's pretty dark, not in the gore way but in the Haunting Creepy Image way. (it's also free on Tubi and Kanopy most of the time.)

The Invisible Man (Claude Rains)—my favorite of the vintage horror flicks and a great introduction to Most Dunked On Hot Vintage Man of All Time, Claude Rains. (it helps that you barely ever see him!) Very very silly but the special effects are just plain fun. (I think this is on Internet Archive in full?)

"Can I just get more hot people please?"

Flower Drum Song (James Shigeta, Nancy Kwan, Miyoshi Umeki, Jack Soo)—there are so many unbelievably hot people in this movie which is somehow very good (thanks to its cast) and also incredibly, horrifically bad (thanks to its white team of writers, directors, and producers). on the one hand, it's a mostly Asian cast in a big budget, beautifully designed MGM style musical! there's dream sequences, lots of fun dancing, crooning Rogers & Hammerstein cabaret moments, and just charm galore. it is also freighted with so. many orientalist assumptions and stereotypes, absolutely ridiculous shit that the writers ABSOLUTELY should have known better about in the 60s and nonetheless carried into this. this is a hard one to recommend because I loved this cast, and I loved seeing them in a context beyond the usual stereotypical bit parts so many of them frequently were limited to—yet the movie itself perpetuates so many stereotypes on its own it can be a hard one to watch, and I totally understand if it does not work for most people. tl;dr watch for Shigeta, Kwan, Umeki, and the others, but content warnings galore for one (really bad) case of yellowface casting, orientalist tropes, extremely stereotypical character types, etc. (On Tubi/Kanopy last I checked.)

Charade (Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, James Coburn)—this movie feels like a Hitchcock movie except I had a ton of fun watching it, which I can't always say for a Hitch film. (I told you my taste was bad.) This one is free on YouTube and thank god because Audrey wears a lot of Givenchy, Cary Grant wears spectacles and keeps almost dying, it's very exciting and thrilling and funny and sexy. I don't think there are any content warnings but it's been a minute since I watched it. (I should go watch it right now.)

The Big Sleep (Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall)—they're so hot askjdljhjghladkghjksahkhgslkahgshskjhgsalhgsahgjh. i like this one a lot :)

[this is NOT A FULL LIST of all the hot vintage movies to start with but it might give you some starting places! i banged this out as quick as I could at 2 am, so apologies that it's sloppy and not perfect.]

[kurthummeldeservesbetter]

other ideas for what happens after Viktor wakes up:

He and Jayce make out passionately and get the hell out of piltover and then they go spend the rest of their days as a small mechanics/toy shop owners.

Jayce says lmao nah bro you clearly aren’t in the right headspace right now at least rest for a day before leaving and Viktor is like whelp can’t argue against that logic

Viktor is like you want to be the John the Baptist to my Jesus and Jayce is like I don’t know what the fuck that is but sure

Jayce gives him a fluffy robe instead of that magic sheet cloak and Viktor realizes he can’t be a cult leader looking like that so he just pouts in the lab for the rest of time

Viktor amnesia AU????? Oh the possibilities. He’s like hi I just got here and I’m purple. why am I naked and also who are you. Who am I. Do I have a name, a last name too perhaps? oooooo and jayce is like well we’re partners. And Viktor is like married? And Jayce is like whelp fuck it yeah. Married! (That way he can also solve the problem of Viktor not having a last name)

OOOOO Viktor’s magic/hexcore cult also affects Jayce? Feels compelled to follow him no matter what? And Viktor is now Came Back Different and is like well don’t know what to do about that!

Viktor gets out of the hexcore 3d painting whatever the fuck he was in and he’s just. Back to normal. Regular healthy man. Viktor is like well my terminal illness and chronic pain is gone but now how do I style myself without my cane?? he leaves to go figure it out lmao

Viktor gets out and everything is the same except he’s got a Jersey accent. Like a deep one. He doesn’t know it’s changed. Jayce is like well fuck. *contemplates pushing him back in to try and reverse it*

Viktor gets out and he’s like well I’m pissed you didn’t destroy it and also made more weapons but I’d likely use it to save you too (debatable for some but work with me here) let’s just start fresh and also I need real clothes before we stop this war. (He and Jayce also make out in this one too.)

Viktor gets out and he’s a cat. Jayce is happy. (He’s allergic to dogs).

[marsdql]

𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝔂 𝓶𝓪𝓭 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 :‹

Pairing: Boyfriend!Heeseung × girlfriend!fem!reader

Synopsis: Another heated argument with you and your boyfriend Heeseung, making it your last straw. You thought it was the end for a while after leaving, until one day..

Genre/warnings: angst to fluff, toxic relationship, a lot of back and forth, idk ok.. | wc: 2k

𝙈𝙖𝙧’𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚: This has been in my drafts for a while so I had to let it out. I’ve been writing SOOO MUCH HEESEUNG FICS ITS CRAZY omg. I promise diff are coming I’m js so brain dead on what to write and I don’t get requests..😁 Jake ff coming out Friday nov15 for his birthday tho!! anyway go enjoy :>

The argument started innocently enough. You were waiting for Heeseung at a party you’d been planning to attend together, but he never showed. You called, texted, and waited for hours, but he never responded. When you finally got home and found him there, acting as if nothing had happened, something inside you snapped.

“What’s wrong with you?” you demanded, slamming the door behind you. “I waited for you all night, Hee! Do you know how embarrassing it was, standing there by myself while everyone kept asking where you were?”

He looked up from his phone, barely acknowledging your presence. “I told you I wasn’t sure if I could make it.”

“You told me you wanted to be there,” you shot back, anger rising in your chest. “But you didn’t even call, Heeseung! You just left me there, like I didn’t matter at all.”

Heeseung rolled his eyes, an exasperated sigh escaping his lips. “Why are you making this such a big deal? It was just one night.”

“Because this isn’t the first time!” Your voice shook as you threw your bag onto the couch, barely able to contain your frustration. “You keep doing this—promising me you’ll show up, then bailing like it’s nothing. Do you even care about this relationship anymore?”

“Here we go again,” he muttered under his breath, but loud enough for you to hear. “You’re always turning everything into a personal attack.”

You clenched your fists, trying to hold back tears of frustration. “Maybe if you actually made an effort, I wouldn’t feel like I have to ‘attack’ you. I’m so tired of being the only one fighting to keep us together.”

Heeseung scoffed, throwing his phone down on the table. “Oh, please. Don’t act like you’re some saint here. You’re always complaining, always finding something wrong with what I do or don’t do. It’s exhausting.”

“Exhausting?” The word stung, and you felt a pang of anger so sharp it made you shake. “So you’re saying I’m exhausting?”

“Yeah, maybe you are,” he snapped, meeting your gaze with a hard look you’d never seen from him before. “Maybe this whole thing is just… too much. You’re always so needy, always wanting more. Maybe I can’t give you what you want.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, the words hitting harder than he knew. “Needy?” you repeated, voice trembling. “I don’t think it’s needy to want the person I love to actually show up for me. But maybe you’re right—maybe I’m asking too much from someone who clearly doesn’t care.”

“Oh, don’t twist this around like I don’t care,” he shot back. “I have my own life, my own problems. Everything doesn’t revolve around you.”

“That’s not fair, and you know it,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “You’re the one who’s been pulling away, Heeseung. You’re the one who’s been acting like I’m some burden you have to carry. I’m just asking you to meet me halfway, but you can’t even do that, can you?”

Heeseung’s expression hardened, and for a moment, you saw something cold flicker in his eyes. “Maybe I don’t want to meet you halfway,” he said, each word cutting deeper than the last. “Maybe I’m tired of pretending like this is something it’s not.”

Your breath caught in your throat, your heart sinking as his words settled over you. “So… what, then? You’re tired of me?”

“Maybe I am,” he said, his tone bitter. “Maybe I’m tired of constantly being made to feel like I’m not enough, like no matter what I do, it’s never good enough for you.”

You felt your chest tighten, a tear slipping down your cheek despite your efforts to hold it back. “I just wanted you to try, Heeseung. To actually care enough to make an effort.”

“And I just wanted you to stop making me feel like a failure,” he shot back, his voice raising. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to constantly feel like you’re not measuring up? You keep pushing and pushing, and it’s like nothing I do will ever be enough for you.”

“Then why didn’t you say that?” you yelled, feeling your anger and heartbreak twisting together into something raw and painful. “Why did you let me keep believing that you wanted this, that you wanted us?”

“Because I thought I did,” he said, voice cracking as he looked away. “But lately… I don’t know. Maybe we’ve both just been holding on to something that isn’t there anymore.”

His words shattered something deep inside you, a pain so intense it felt almost physical. You took a shaky breath, struggling to find the right words. “So that’s it?” you whispered. “You’re just… giving up?”

Heeseung’s gaze softened, but he didn’t move toward you. “I’m just… tired of hurting you,” he said quietly. “And tired of feeling like I’m the problem. I can’t keep doing this.”

You looked away, unable to bear the sight of him standing there, so calm, as if he hadn’t just destroyed everything you’d built together. “Fine,” you whispered, barely able to get the words out. “If that’s how you feel… then maybe we shouldn’t keep doing this.”

For a moment, you thought he might say something, that he might reach out, try to fix the damage that had been done. But he didn’t move, didn’t say a word, just watched as you picked up your things and turned toward the door.

“Goodbye, Heeseung,” you said, your voice barely audible as you walked away, each step feeling heavier than the last.

As you closed the door behind you, you realized that you had been holding on to a version of him that no longer existed, a love that had withered in the space between unmet expectations and unspoken resentments. And the realization hurt more than anything he could have said, because now you knew that sometimes love simply isn’t enough.

Weeks had passed since that night, but the pain still sat heavy in your chest, a constant reminder of the words you both threw like daggers. You had told yourself it would get easier—that eventually, you’d stop replaying the fight over and over, picking apart every sentence, wondering if you could have said or done something differently.

But every time you closed your eyes, you could still see him standing there, looking at you with that mixture of anger and something else—something you couldn’t name.

Tonight, you found yourself sitting in a quiet café, stirring a mug of coffee you hadn’t touched. You’d come here hoping the change of scenery would help, but all it did was bring memories crashing back, drowning you in thoughts you had been trying so hard to escape. And then, as if fate had a cruel sense of humor, the doorbell chimed, and there he was.

Heeseung.

He hadn’t seen you yet, and you almost turned away, almost gathered your things to leave before he noticed. But some part of you—maybe it was the part that hadn’t stopped missing him, the part that still ached for him despite everything—stayed rooted in place.

As if sensing your presence, Heeseung looked up, his eyes widening slightly when they met yours. For a moment, neither of you moved, both frozen in the shared silence. Finally, he took a breath and walked over, his steps hesitant, as if he, too, was unsure of how this would go.

“Hey,” he said, his voice softer than you remembered, almost as if he were afraid of breaking something fragile.

“Hi,” you replied, your own voice barely above a whisper.

He sat down across from you, and for a moment, the two of you just sat in silence, both unsure of where to start. The tension was thick, memories of the fight still hanging heavily between you.

“I… I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

“I didn’t expect to see you, either,” you replied, your tone guarded.

Heeseung looked down at the table, then back up at you, his eyes searching yours. “I’ve been thinking about… that night. About the things we both said.”

A lump formed in your throat, and you swallowed hard, nodding slightly. “Me too,” you admitted, voice trembling.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said, his gaze never leaving yours. “I know that’s probably hard to believe after everything, but… I never wanted things to end up like that.”

“Then why did you let it get to that point?” you whispered, the hurt and confusion you’d been carrying pouring out before you could stop it. “Why didn’t you just talk to me, Heeseung? Why did you make me feel like I was the problem?”

He sighed, looking down at his hands. “Because… because I didn’t know how to tell you that I was struggling. I thought I was supposed to handle everything on my own, and I didn’t want to burden you with my issues. But in trying to protect you, I pushed you away, and that’s on me.”

His admission cracked something open inside you, and you felt a surge of conflicting emotions—relief, sadness, anger. “I would’ve been there for you, Heeseung. All I wanted was to be there for you.”

“I know,” he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I realize that now. I just… I guess I was scared. Scared of being vulnerable. Scared of letting you see the parts of me that I’ve always tried to hide.”

You felt a tear slip down your cheek, but you didn’t bother to wipe it away. “You didn’t have to be perfect for me, Heeseung. I never wanted that. I just wanted you.”

He reached out hesitantly, his hand hovering over yours, and for a moment, you thought he might pull back. But then, slowly, he took your hand, his fingers intertwining with yours, warm and familiar.

“I don’t know if I can fix what I broke,” he said quietly, his eyes full of regret. “But… if there’s still a part of you that wants to try, I’d do anything to make it right.”

You looked down at his hand, the memories of all the times you’d held each other, all the promises you’d once shared. Part of you wanted to say yes, to let yourself fall back into the warmth of him, to believe that maybe, just maybe, things could be different this time.

But another part of you remembered the pain—the nights spent wondering if you were enough, the feeling of constantly fighting to hold onto someone who kept slipping away.

“I don’t know if I can trust you again, Heeseung,” you said, voice breaking. “You hurt me so much. I don’t know if I can go through that again.”

His grip on your hand tightened slightly, desperation flashing in his eyes. “I know I messed up, and I know it might take a long time to earn back your trust. But if there’s even the smallest part of you that thinks we could make this work… I promise I’ll do whatever it takes.”

Silence settled between you, thick with emotion, as you weighed his words. You knew that forgiveness wouldn’t come easily, that the scars from that night would always be there, etched into your heart. But looking at him now, at the vulnerability in his eyes, you saw a glimpse of the Heeseung you’d fallen in love with—the one who had once made you feel like you were his whole world.

Taking a shaky breath, you met his gaze. “If we do this… it can’t be like before. We both have to be honest with each other, even when it’s hard. No more hiding, no more pretending.”

He nodded, a look of relief washing over his face. “I promise,” he said, his voice full of conviction. “No more hiding.”

Slowly, cautiously, you let yourself smile, a small glimmer of hope flickering in your chest. It would be a long road, full of challenges and doubts, but for the first time in a long time, you felt like maybe, just maybe, you could find your way back to each other.

And this time, you’d fight for each other—together.

Reblogs and feedback appreciated, thank u ! DIVIDER CREDITS: @anitalenia

[ marsdql ]

[newtkelly]

Not to word vomit on you but I can't stop thinking about Oliver wanting a love story like Tarlos and how it all accidentally lined up.

Knowing that Carlos and TK were about to move in, and then Carlos made that romantic gesture and TK got scared because it was, "too good to be true."

Carlos is left, confused, puzzled and nursing a broken-heart but still just as in love. What do you mean that TK and Carlos saw a future together, one got scared at that prospect and left before Carlos was the one to leave??

What do you mean that happened after Oliver said he wanted Bucktommy to have a love story like Tarlos; where it was always going to be them?

Then you consider Oliver saying that we might see Tommy and Buck interact during a call and it'll be awkward and who can't help but think of TK and Carlos running into the furniture store and seeing each other for the first time in weeks.

Anyways, sorry to be delusional in your ask box. I'm deep within the Tarlos trenches so this is all starting to look eerily familiar lmao (it could also be Tim is out of ideas, which is most likely the case)

Please feel free to word vomit on me always, I live for it.

Receiving this ask has actually prompted me to share some thoughts that I’ve held back from sharing, just because I wasn’t sure if it was worth it to throw more speculation into the void. But this message is so lovely, and I agree with it so much and so… okay I will share some of my mixed bag of thoughts about this whole situation.

Firstly, I adore Tarlos and LS (even if I don’t post about either much), TK is my baby, and the interesting thing about them for me is that I wound up caring for them more AFTER they broke up and got back together. If Buck and Tommy’s story is formatted as a rom-com, TK and Carlos are a tragicomedy. TK, the heartbroken recovering addict thrust into an entirely new city, a new career, who doesn’t want to let himself get too close to something good because he is misery incarnate. Carlos, the hopeful hopeless romantic who sees TK and doesn’t see something that needs fixing, but someone who his love could help heal. It’s such a gorgeous story, and the symmetry of both characters shockingly losing a parent in a tragic way is painfully beautiful. I LOVE their love story.

That brings me to Oliver and Tim’s comments. Throughout the Buck and Tommy relationship, my belief that this would be Buck’s final relationship only ever wavered twice. The first time was in the immediate aftermath of their first date (I spent the whole episode thinking that Tommy was actually reintroduced to kick off the bi awakening plotline and Buck was not acquiring a boyfriend) and the second time was towards the tail end of the summer hiatus when I legitimately began to doubt Lou would want to come back given everything that transpired. Other than that, I had full faith that this was it, this was Buck getting off the “hamster wheel”—Tim’s words, not mine.

I had confidence for a few reasons. 1 – the story was always handled with care onscreen and gave us no reason to think they weren’t going to work out. 2 – the chemistry was insane, and I knew it couldn’t just be me because an entire fandom was born. Tim and tptb must have seen what we saw. 3 – the supplementary information funneled to us through articles and Tim’s social media, literally up until post-8x06 never seemed to indicate that their relationship was headed in this direction. A big part of that was the comparison to Tarlos.

In order to protect myself (should I name the list of shows, movies, couples that I’ve fixated on that wound up playing out in dissatisfying ways?), I am awfully pessimistic. The post-episode interviews, articles, + hearing a bit from LFJ and OS has me wondering if this was some mass hallucination. Did we truly cling to something good and blow it up, run with it? Was this always the plan? I’ve wondered if because S7 was so short and S8 required that other characters get the spotlight first/other stories needed to be told and wrapped, and if because of production and scheduling and whatever external reasons, did their relationship wind up having a longer life than was ever intended. Were they ever supposed to make it to six months? Were they ever supposed to make it past the fucking wedding? I have been asking myself this stuff a lot. Alternatively, did something happen that made them want to or have to part ways with LFJ? So many questions, and I’m not sure we’ll ever know.

But… then there’s the delusional side of me, and the reason I haven’t totally abandoned hope is because when I was watching 8x06 live, EVERYTHING in me told me that this is a necessary section of the rom-com formula. Even the call-backs throughout the episode made me feel like the writers are so painfully aware, and that the narrative wants these characters to be together (Miceli’s, Abby, basketball, going to the movies, calling an uber, the loft kitchen, “you’re not ready”)—the motifs were absolutely popping off. I did not think it was the end when the episode ended. I wondered when and how they would find their way back to each other to fulfill the rom-com genre, but what I did NOT expect was to open social media and see articles framing this as the end. I wasn’t surprised when I found out who wrote the articles, and listen—if they bait one side of the fandom, can’t they bait the other? I still have some hope, because at the end of the day, anything can happen with network television. Maybe this is all part of the plan, and the interviews should be taken with a grain of salt. I just don’t know.

Interviews with Tim and Oliver from day one positioned the Buck and Tommy relationship as a queer love story devoid of trauma. Okay, well… huh. From where I was sitting, there was A TON of explicitly queer trauma exposed in 8x06. Their “hurdle” is tied utterly and completely to queerness. Tommy runs because he is a gay man who doesn’t trust that his bisexual boyfriend should “settle” for him, and who would rather be alone than heartbroken, and if that truly is the last of Tommy, it has to be one of the coldest and cruelest exits we’ve ever seen on this show. Do they simply not realize how deeply traumatized both characters come off in that episode, or is it all part of the plan? If the interviews positioning this as the permanent end of bucktommy should be taken at face value, shouldn’t the other interviews that position them as a rom-com (with the formulaic third act breakup, boils and all) be taken as the truth as well? If there was some misinterpretation, why hasn’t Tim said anything—he clearly knows a lot of fans were hurt by what they watched. He must have seen the outrage—why radio silence? Did we truly blow this out of proportion? Are the wheels coming off behind the scenes? I need a tell-all at this point lol

Thank you for the lovely ask, I’ve been sitting with these thoughts all week so this was a good excuse to finally articulate them. <3

[beloveds-embrace]

Noona please I beg of you, I need more men grovelling and regretting their actions; please give us more of the angsty version of the dukedom au it’s so good, it’s so cathartic please. What happens when the boys realize they fucked up? Who wants to fight Konig upon realizing reader is definitely getting her back blown out by him? Imagine if reader ended up having his baby, or placing divorce papers on Price’s desk, god the ANGST of it all

Here’s my dog as a banana as payment

Original post

THE DOG PICCC TELL YOUR DOG I SAID THEY ARE GOODEST BOY/GIRL EVERRRR ID DIE FOR THEMMM

also thank you to everyone for all the suggestions! I couldn’t add all of them so I’m super sorry for that 😭 and also a thank you to @darkangel4121 for your replies!!

The shift in the household’s demeanor comes slowly, as if the wind has changed direction. At first, it’s little things- a hesitant glance from John, a lingering pause before he leaves a room. Kyle- as you've come to finally learn his first name despite not asking- places your breakfast tray before you with newfound care and no disdainful silence, and Johnny’s meals are cooked to perfection, also a new name you've just so recently been told of. Even Duke Riley himself begins to nod in your direction when he visits, acknowledging your presence in ways he never did before.

But it all feels hollow.

These gestures, once craved, now barely touch you. You are polite, civil, offering faint smiles that do not reach your eyes, acknowledging the changes without truly engaging. Your heart no longer waits at the threshold of their approval; it has found its sanctuary elsewhere, firmly cradled in the hands of a man who has always seen you. Your knight. Your shadow. König.

You walk through the estate, thinking of John’s efforts with a detached air. He invites you to dinners now rather than leave you alone for entire days and nights, his voice gentler, eyes searching for cracks in the walls he helped build. He asks about your day, and you respond with the measured politeness your parents taught you. The warmth he offers now is too late, a sun long set. The flicker of hope in his eyes fades each time you excuse yourself early, your presence like a ghost haunting rooms that no longer feel like home.

König waits for you just beyond the hallways, his presence like a balm to a wound. He falls in step beside you without a word, the weight of his loyalty comforting in a way no amount of decorum could be. He is everything you need- unwavering, fiercely protective, and yours.

In the gardens, beneath a gnarled oak tree, you find moments of peace with him that you could never find within the walls of the estate. You sit together in companionable silence, your shawl and his cape wrapped tightly around you against the evening chill. When you lean against him, pressing your forehead to the cool metal of his armor, you feel his breath hitch. His hand comes to rest at your back, gentle despite the strength he wields.

“I missed you today,” you whisper, your fingers tracing idle patterns over the fabric of his sleeve. It is an admission you would have once swallowed down, but with König, you have no need to hide.

His grip tightens briefly. “I am always here, mylady,” he replies, his voice soft only for you. “You need only call for me.”

“I know.” You close your eyes, listening to the steady thrum of his heart. It beats for you, and that knowledge fills the spaces that loneliness once carved. “You are all I need.”

He shifts then, kneeling before you as he often does, his hands enveloping yours. His gaze is intense, pale eyes searching your face for signs of hesitation, but there are none. “I would give you the world if I could, mylady,” he says, voice low. “But all I have is myself.”

“You are enough,” you say simply, and you mean it. “More than enough. All I could ever want.”

König bows his head, a soft exhale escaping him. “Then I will stay by your side, always.”

The men of the estate still try, fumbling in their newfound efforts to mend what they broke.

John brings you flowers, freshly cut and arranged with care, so you can decorate your drawing room where you occasionally play the harp. You accept them with a polite nod, but they are forgotten in moments, and you go back to asking Konig his opinion on the melody you are playing. Kyle offers to escort you on walks, but you refuse, choosing instead the quiet solace of the garden paths shared with König. Simon’s attempts at conversation are met with cool civility, and Johnny's food largely goes untouched. You allow none of them closer than courtesy demands.

And the gifts received from John and Duke Simon are left untouched. They aren’t much of your style anyways.

But with König, you are different. Soft. Open. You share your thoughts, your fears, the dreams you had long given up on. He listens, always.

One evening, in the safe privacy of your rooms, he rests his head in your lap, a rare moment of vulnerability. You cradle his masked face, tracing the edges of the fabric. You are unafraid of being interrupted; your new maids were quiet and nervous, likely not wanting to be dismissed after the last batch were. You still have no idea how Konig managed to do it, but he spoke to John personally and had them all removed; despite that, you don’t care for their dubious help.

You had made sure to show Konig your appreciation quite thoroughly. Even days later, you swore you could feel how big his hands on your thighs were, keeping you nice and open for his tongue. He'd kept you in that position even when a knock had sounded and someone had entered, but the knowledge of what was going on only sent a sharp thrill of excitement through you.

Still, pettily, you hoped it'd been John who had seen you in the throes of pleasure.

Not right now, Duchess. Not right now.

“Are you tired, my love?” you ask gently, the term of endearment slipping out so naturally it catches even you by surprise, earlier thoughts pushed aside. Still, you have no desire to take it back.

He stills, breath caught. “Say it again. Please.”

“My love.” You smile, leaning closer to press your forehead against his. “You are my love.”

His hands tighten around yours, trembling. “I have always been yours.”

And you believe him. In the warmth of his embrace, you find what the others could now never give- a place where you are cherished, where you are enough. The rest of the estate watches you drift further away, their regret too heavy to shift the chasm that now lies between you. You are beyond their reach, ensconced in a love that was never born out of duty but out of genuine care.

In one of those quiet moments beneath the moonlit sky, after a tiring day of going between appointments and lawyers, you ask him, “Will you take me far from here one day, König? Somewhere far away, where I am free?”

“When you are ready, Liebling,” he promises without hesitation, pale eyes earnest. “I will take you wherever you wish to go.”

The world around you may continue its attempts to pull you back in, but it is too late. Your heart belongs only to the man who has always been your refuge, your shadow, your light. And with him, you finally feel free. König, König, König- and no one else.

[yourmoonie]

DEALING WITH DOUBTS

Intro:

When doubts, fears, or anxiety arise, don’t fight with them or think that it is a dead-end. Instead, acknowledge them with gratitude. Recognize that fears are trying to protect you, doubts can motivate growth, and impatience signals your eagerness for good things. Invite your fears to wonder, -> "What if success is close?" Let doubts challenge limits and turn impatience into excitement for what’s coming. Rather than resisting old beliefs, shift your view on these emotions, give them a new purpose, and trust your intuition.

1. Shifting your POV

Instead of seeing doubts as barriers, let’s view them as part of our growth. When doubts pop up, it's because something within us wants reassurance or clarity. It’s a signal, not a dead-end. Now stay with me

2. UNDERSTANDING WHY IT APPEARS

Doubts don’t just appear for no reason; they’re often tied to past experiences or beliefs

Doubt -> an underlying cause -> why It appears -> how to reframe It -> moving forward

3. DONT FIGHT WITH YOURSELF

Doubts can actually help us to question, refine, & build more solid beliefs

Each doubt that you move through gives you a deeper trust in yourself. Like a good friend who’s honest with you, doubts can be useful if you listen, learn, and grow beyond them

The example:

✨️THE DOUBT: What if I am not good enough to get my SP's attention

✨️ LISTEN: Hear the doubt as f it's a friend being honest, pointing out where you might feel insecure.

✨️ LEARN: Ask yourself why this feeling exists. Maybe it's tied to a belief about self-worth.

✨️ GROW BEYOND: Use this awareness to focus on building confidence and self-love, reminding yourself that you're worthy and valuable just as you are

✨️ RESULT: Instead of letting the doubt hold you back, you're using it as a push to strengthen your self-image

4. PICK & CHOOSE

After acknowledging & understanding doubts, it’s time to release them

Imagine each doubt as a passing cloud

You notice it, see what it’s about, and then watch it drift away. You don’t have to cling to every thought

Choose which ones you want to keep

5. REMIND YOURSELF OF YOUR TRUTH

When a doubt comes up, gently remind yourself of your truth

Let’s say you doubt if you’re capable of achieving your desire

You could say, “I trust my ability to manifest & I trust myself”

It’s not about forcing the doubt away but bringing yourself back to your inner belief

6. Appreciating them & letting them go

The next time you catch yourself doubting, try saying, “Thank you for showing me what I need to work on.” This way, you honor the doubt but also make a conscious decision to not hold onto it. Acknowledging it without fear takes away its power over you

7. TODAY'S LESSONS

So today, we learned to:

✅️ To acknowledge the doubts without fearing them

✅️ Appreciate what they teach us

✅️ Letting them go and refocusing on the truth

Doubts don’t have to control you. They can be gentle reminders to dig deeper into your own strength

Trust that you’re on the right path

Some ground techniques for you:

Mindfulness Exercise (My favorite):

When doubts or overwhelm arise, bring yourself back to the present moment. Count your fingers, look around, and connect with your surroundings. Remind yourself that you exist in this moment, and that the thoughts passing through your mind aren’t truly you. Let these thoughts drift by and rest in the knowing that everything is working out in your favor.

Energetic Grounding Exercise (Another favorite):

✨ Start by sitting comfortably in a chair. Visualize roots, cords, or chains extending from your feet deep into the earth and from your base chakra. Feel as though you’re solidly anchored, like a tripod.

✨ Then, imagine a rope or pillar of light entering your crown chakra. This light can be any color that feels healing and powerful for you. See it flow through your body, traveling from your head to your feet, passing through each chakra.

✨ Declare out loud that you are grounded to the earth. Visualize toxins and negativity releasing through the roots into the soil, where they are transformed into energy. Allow the crown chakra connection to draw in healing energy that flows throughout your being.

This practice can help you feel centered, calm, and aligned with positive energy.

[theinheriteddutchess]

Ok so suede is extremely well behaved! I don't know if that's his personality or a deeper more psychological meaning👀🥺 but most kids would just wake up there parents especially when they're so young.

I'm so proud of him for doing it! 😭

Ok this whole scenario with Andy and suede…I am so filled with warmth. It's so cute and that little bit is visioning and loved and safe. And about to fall asleep lol.

Maybe her ovaries ache for a different reason 😏

See I'm not liking this, where she has to ask if she can take them away while he doesn't communicate his plans at all and would probably just take them and maybe inform her last minute probably. Her mom knew! She was right.

Though i get that it's hard if your kids would call another partner a mom or dad, the fact is Scott doesn't deserve to be called that title and it's sad how scared Audrey is to disappoint him.

… Even the playdoh isn't safe from Scott's bullshit.

Ok I wouldn't recommend topless cooking!I can only imagine grease splatters on your chest😭 that shits no joke

Lol she's a brat. And that little back and forth with the boyfriend\fiance thing To be honest she's being unreasonable and angry at the wrong person here.🤷🏻‍♀️

He he that burn about his fear of sharks, fucking hypocrit. Also! Why would Taylor's parents even accept this relationship? Their skank of a daughter should be a shame, and they would expect this relationship not to work out anyway. And I don't doubt she won't think of suedes allergies!

Fuck you Scott, truly get stubborn for that fat comment

And get double fucked for saying suede shouldn't be there. Fuck you, you fucking fucktard, I will dance on your funeral.

And Taylor can fuck of too, laughing at a two year old. She works protect that little bit, but she's vile. Sorry I just have no patience or empathy for either, I wish them horrible things. i want them to be humiliated and hurt, lile truly, maybe they'll never learn l but maybe, if they're down and vertonen they can understand what empathy is. Though I doubt it.

**“Fuck you. You are so self righteous. You act like you’re the perfect fucking parent, and nobody is ever going to compare to you. I hope Andy enjoys trying to please someone who is impossible to please,” you moan again. Having to bite on Andy’s arm. “You fucking slut. How dare you fuck that asshole while you’re talking to me!”*"

He he hypocrit, because you were fucking Taylor during your marriage, and also, yes, Andy is enjoying himself. A lot.

Okay I tired myself out😭

Until we meet again.

Ps, probably a gazillion mistakes but I tried!

Two Good Reasons, Part 8

Summary: something is happening

Pairings: Andy Barber X Reader

Rating: explicit

Warnings:  explicit language, explicit sexual content, playful degradation, mentions of divorce, mentions of neglect, unprotected sex, slight voyeurism, Scott, creampie, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 5.7K

Previous

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics

“NaNa?” Suede looks up from the toys he’s playing with pointing down the hallway to your bedroom. Desperately trying to get Andy to wake you up, “Mama and Dee seep?”

“Yes, buddy,” Suede huffs a bit. Crossing his arms over his chest before his mouth flattens out, and he returns to his playing. Andy watches him a moment before looking back at the game on tv. Suede looks back down the hallway before pouting up at Andy, “Suedey, what’s wrong?”

“Me pee,” he says, rocking his body back and forward.

“In your diaper?” He shakes his head no, looking towards the bathroom, and he jumps up. His feet bounce around a bit before he jumps, holding himself. “Okay. Come on,” Andy stands up, and walks quickly towards Suede, “Let’s go, buddy.”

“Mama be mad?” His brows furrow as he starts bouncing around even more. Andy knows he has moments before Suede has an accident and gets upset for doing so.

“Your mama won’t be mad. Come on,” Suede holds himself as he runs towards the bathroom, and makes it to his potty just in time. He gives Andy a thumbs up, smiling so proudly at him. “You made it! Does that feel better than a diaper?”

“Chess! Me yike it. NaNa pee der?” Suede points at the bigger toilet, and Andy nods his head, “Me, too?”

“One day. And you’ll get to stand.”

“No,” Andy nods his head yes. “No, no.”

“Has your dad never,” he stops his question when Suede scrunches his nose up. Andy approaches the boy carefully. A child with so very little vocabulary, and still so young, but clearly Scott hadn’t been teaching him anything about pottying.

“Tay.”

“Taylor?” Suede nods his head, and Andy wonders what his limited words are trying to tell him. He’s noticed that you don’t ever press your children about time at their dad’s, so he doesn’t want to either. But he wonders if Taylor is the one that deals with bathroom or diaper duty, “You done?”

“Chess! My mama at?”

“She and Audrey are taking a nap,” Suede dramatically rolls his eyes at Andy, and pulls up his pants. “Audrey has a bit of a cold, and your mama is tired.”

“Ways seep!” He rolls his eyes again, starting to stomp out of the bathroom.

“Hands, Suede,” Andy’s voice is soft, but demanding. It’s not a question, it’s what Suede has to do.

“Ugh,” groaning, he gets on the stool, grunting as he reaches for the soap.

“I know mama has been needing some extra sleep lately, but it happens to everyone,” Suede shakes his head no, starting to play more in the water than washing his hands. “Yes, they do. Your mom works hard, she loves you and sissy harder, and…”

“Ove oo.”

“Yes, she loves me, too. Are you finished?” Suede giggles as Andy picks him up to use the towel. He swings him around until he’s sitting on his hip, and he peeks into the bedroom, and you’ve still got Audrey tight against your body. Your nose buries into her watermelon scented hair, and she clings just as tightly to you.

Suede gets one look at you and growls, “Now, you’ve got to share time with your mom. You could have taken a nap, too, and you said no. You want to nap?”

“No,” shaking his head no, he points at Andy’s chest. Sputtering out words before sighing. Once Andy gets into the living room, he points at the tv.

“You want to watch the game or Bluey?”

“Oo Oo,” that settled that. He yawns, and Andy chooses to ignore it, if you bring up nap to Suede, he’ll refuse it just to spite you. Still holding him he walks into the kitchen. Grabbing himself a beer, and a cup of watered down juice for Suede. “Nack, pease,” his speaking has immensely improved. Suede has slowly been able to put words into sentences.

“A snack. Hmm. What about your fruit salad? No strawberries, and no..?”

“Pies,” pineapples. Close enough. “NaNa, my ove oo,” he lays his head on Andy’s chest, snuggling in a bit tighter. He always tells fibs about being sleepy. Sleepy Suede, is more cuddly loving Suede.

“I love you, too, buddy. You ready to watch some Bluey?”

“Chess!” But his ’yes’ is just a little bit softer, and he never lifts his head off Andy’s chest.

—

You yawn, looking down at your daughter who rubs the sleep out of her eyes. Audrey looks up at you, giving you a sleepy smile, “Did you sleep as hard as mommy?”

“Uh huh,” she sits up in the bed, stretching big. “I like this new bed. Can we see what Andy and Suedey are doing,” she jumps out of the bed immediately, but waits for you to stretch, too. Going behind her, you scoop her up in your arms to blow raspberries all over her, but stop when you walk into the living room.

This is the sight you’ve always wanted to see; a sticky-faced little boy snuggled up against his dad’s chest, while both of them are passed out. The comfort that Suede feels with Andy matches the way he feels about you. You have no fears when he’s with Andy. You know that Andy has his allergies memorized, but also checks the list that’s on the fridge constantly.

He wanted to watch some football, but opted for Bluey so Suede could fall asleep. He agreed to stay up a bit longer with Suede, spend some one on one time with him, while you and Audrey were already piled up and snuggled. Sunday naps are your favorite for a reason.

“They’re sleeping,” Audrey looks at you with a big smile. You know she enjoys seeing Suede being happy and more content here. She shouldn’t have to worry about her brother, but she does. The best big sister you could have asked for. “Suedey likes Andy a whole whole lot.”

“So does Audrey, huh?” She giggles, nodding her head. “How about mommy and Audrey get a snack, and you can play at the table while mommy makes dinner?” She nods again, while you look back at Andy and Suede. He makes your ovaries ache. Seeing how good he is with children that aren’t his, you know this man deserves someone of his blood. You don’t know how, but you’ll make it happen.

You honestly can’t even wait to spend all these holidays with Andy and the kids. Biting on your lip, you glance at the family calendar, knowing it’s past time to ask Scott if you can go back to Michigan with the kids to spend time with your family for Thanksgiving. It was your weekend to have them. Scott hadn’t told you about plans with Taylor’s family, or if he was even interested in seeing them on the holiday.

You didn’t want to travel for Christmas, but Andy had the time off for Thanksgivng. You had the time off. You missed your family, and wanted them to see Andy with your babies. Let them see how much the kids have grown, and also a grownup Andy. Your mom obsessively talked about him. Even told you on your wedding day you should try and find Andy again because you were making a mistake. Mom’s always know best. And your mom definitely knew.

“Mommy?” You look up from slicing the vegetables for a roast, letting Audrey know she has your attention, “I think I messed up.”

“Why’s that?” She bites on her lip, looking more like you every day, even with her mannerisms. Audrey looks down at the PlayDoh she’d been kneading, and looks down the hallway towards the living room. “Audi? Is everything okay?”

“I called Andy daddy,” she sighs, and finally looks up at you. You meet her with a smile on your face. You and Andy hadn’t found the time or the way to bring up that comment. “It was at donuts for dad, and I just think I got confused. My head was all mushy, and I didn’t mean it. But I liked having him there, and showing my room. You’re the only one that’s seen it.”

Her face falls to sadness, and you lay down the knife. Walking around the counter island to hug her, “Sweet girl, Andy and I aren’t mad.”

“But what about my daddy? Are you going to tell him?” You weren’t. But eventually if Audrey kept feeling comfortable with Andy, and letting that title slip, he would know.

“Do you want me to?” She shakes her swiftly, and buries herself into your chest. “No. But I also think you should call Andy whatever feels natural. You naturally called him that because at that moment that’s what he felt like to you. Baby, Andy adores and loves you, and doesn't not care what you call him. Unless it’s something like poppy head,” Audrey giggles, finally lifting up from your body.

“What about daddy?” She pouts. No matter what, this little girl adores her dad, and she’s already over concerned about Scott’s opinion. “Won’t he be mad?”

“We don’t have to tell daddy if you don’t want to. Daddy never has to know. I don’t want you to stress about this. You’re four, almost five,” Scott is going to keep on and turn your precious child into a neurotic clam.

Her little fingers pet over your shirt, looking like she’s up to something. Her sly smile is so cute that you just want to give her a hard kiss on her cheek. “Can we go to Paris for my birthday?”

“No,” you answer quickly. Traveling out of the country with ‘Scott’s children’ would be out of the question. Going to Paris before her birthday would be even more so with planning alone. “Pick somewhere else to go.”

“Nini and Poppy’s?”

“That’s what I’m hoping to do for Thanksgiving. What about something around here?”

A finger taps on her chin, humming so sweetly while she thinks. “Can we go to the aquarium, and soft play, and then pizza, and then go to a movie?”

“I think that sounds like a magical day. Who do you want to go?”

“Our family,” you want to squeeze her so tight. Her sweetness comes out of her, and you need to preserve these little moments. “You, and me, and Suedey, and Andy,” you nod your head. Pressing a kiss to her forehead before placing her back in her seat. She’s making you oddly over emotional, and it feels so confusing and overwhelming, and you love it.

“Audrey, you are the cutest, most sweetest little girl I’ve ever met, you know that?”

“Yes, I do,” she gives you a little giggle, returning to her PlayDoh. You happen to glance at it a moment. “Is this what the judge’s bench looks like,” you finally understand Andy’s frustration with this.

“Audi, why don’t you make a cupcake instead.”

“No, I gotta learn.”

Waking up without the kids feels so awful. Yes, you have your wonderful boyfriend-fiance, and you refuse to call him fiance until he gives you a ring. And while waking up without them at home with you is better with Andy, due to the distraction, but it still sucked. The only good thing is having Andy prance around nearly naked.

He loves to keep the doors locked, the blinds closed, and walk around with his cock out all day. It’s like he’s teasing you. And you have no problem partaking. He really likes it when you’re naked or at least topless. Especially topless cooking, like now.

You’re being cheeky teenagers again, except without so many restrictions. Standing over the pot of soup, you giggle as Andy comes up behind you with his hands on your tits. He looks over your shoulders softly petting around your nipple. His smile is infectious as he pebbles the sensitive skin. “You’re so,” a lewd moan ripples through your throat, and you back your ass into his cock.

“Fuck me.”

“Sensitive,” Andy gives your nipples a hard pinch, and twirls you around to look at him, and you immediately cup his cock, and he meets your energy, except he shoves two fingers into your warmth, and you whimper, “You’re fucking soaked,” he’s shocked at how ready you are for him.

“I’m fucking horny,” you whine, grinding over his fingers like a bitch in heat. You’re so needy for him right now.

“Yeah, no shit, Doe. You are leaking out, and making a mess on your thighs. What has got you worked up?” His voice is laced with so much hunger for you. My god, this man and that cock you can have whenever you want. And you want immediately. “You’re so fucking messy.”

You can’t stop it. There’s something about his voice that sounds accusatory. And you’re fucking horny. You want to have sex, you don’t want to have a lecture. The soup is simmering and not ready. The kids aren’t here. And you want to be fucked so hard you fall asleep again.

“Maybe if my boyfriend didn’t walk around the damn house with his dick swinging around,” he grimaces at the word boyfriend and the way you emphasized it. “Get hard!”

“Make me,” you’re a bit irritated at him, but not enough to refuse making him hard. You sink to your knees, and take his hardening cock into your hand. You kiss over his member. Looking up at him with the sweetest face that you can muster. You’re not sweet. You’re a goddamn whore for Andy Barber.

“You are a horny little slut, hmm?” Shimmying your shoulders, you nod your head with a smile. Sucking his cock into your mouth so you can suck and use your tongue to massage him. Moaning as he turns to steel in your mouth. “Fuck. You seriously are a master with your mouth. My fiance looks amazing just like this. Taking my cock just like she was made to do.”

What? You pull off his cock slowly, and stare up at him scowling, “What?” He asks, mouth hanging open looking at you.

“Seriously?”

He furrows his brows, and you lose patience. Leaning back on your heels, he asks that stupid question again, “What, Doe?” You don’t say anything, just move to stand. “No. You stay and talk to me. What is your deal?”

Your deal? He grabs your arm, but you shrug him off, and march away from him. “Doe!” You keep walking away from him, but he doesn’t let up. Using your real name, and it hurts for some reason. The vitriol reaction you have to hearing him say a name that everyone calls you. Doe is special to him. His little deer.

“Do not call me that, Andy Barber!”

“I seriously have no idea what is going on right now,” of course he wouldn’t. Because he didn’t understand anything. And currently neither do you.

“Ugh!” Spinning back on your heels, you walk away. Again. Heading towards the bedroom. The two of you look utterly ridiculous; you wearing nothing but cheeky panties, and him completely nude with a hard on. Serves him right. Maybe he can have blue balls because the free show is over now. He needs to gravel, and plead.

“I sound stupid!” You scream at yourself, and you fall onto the bed like a petulant child. You sound like a toddler, and still you can’t stop the weird feeling. It’s not anger as much as it’s complete frustration. You can’t make it stop. You want to be fucked. You want Andy to propose like he said he would. You want to move and live in a house that doesn’t have Scott’s name on it. You want your children to quit leaving you every other weekend.

You want Scott to quit throwing lame excuses over your head trying to scare and threaten you. You want him to stop fighting for full custody. You don’t want him to even have joint custody. You want your babies. And you want them with you and Andy.

“Baby,” Andy coos on your back. He peppers kisses all over your back, and you cry more. You’re trying to be mad at him! “Honey, tell me what’s wrong?”

“I hate him,” he doesn’t have to see your face to know your crying. Your trembling body tells him.

“That’s not what set this off. Tell me what made you angry at first,” was it not Scott? Or is everything just rushing at you at once?

“You’re a liar,” you sound like a child. Audrey doesn’t whine as much as you are.

“I am not.”

“You said you were going to propose for real, and you haven’t,” make it stop. Go back to blaming Scott. You sound like an entitled asshole. Andy said he had a ring, and he said he was going to propose, and he will.

“I called you my fiance,” his voice is so soft, and understanding, but it kind of ticks you off again, and you try to resist. You don’t want to make things worse.

“And I hate it here. I hate that he takes our babies away every other weekend, and I only get to see their faces a little bit. Or when Suede tries to text from his ‘mini’ iPad, and it’s just emojis. And I love that you help him potty. And I’m so horny,” Andy chuckles on your back. He uses his feet to push legs apart.

His thick fingers start teasing through your weeping cunt, and another alarm goes off, “You’re trying to change the subject.”

“You just said you were horny, so I’m going to fuck you, and then we can talk about everything else like adults.”

“You fuck me from behind to much,” he growls. Actually growls on your body. “Andy!” His hands grip you tight before flipping you over on your back, and stepping in between your legs. He moves aside your panties, and you know how stupid it sounds inside your head, but you can’t stop it. “Are you seriously trying to fuck me like some bitch you met at the club without taking her panties off?”

He gives you the most angry grin you’ve ever seen. Tight lipped and irritated when he rips the damn things off, “Those were my favorite panties.”

“No, they weren’t,” you gawk at him. “No. No, they weren’t. Your favorite ones are those pink ones. They cover your full ass, and there’s something about the way they just don’t move on your body, so you’re not tugging them around all day,” you really gawk at him. He’s right. “And when we sleep, your ass cheeks hang out just the tiniest bit and I want to bite each one. So not only are they comfortable on you, they look amazing on, or on the floor.”

Andy crashes into your whiny ass warmth, and your back lifts off the bed. “Now, I don’t know what set you off, or why you’re being so unreasonable but I want to talk about it.”

“I want you to fuck me!” He pulls himself all the way out before slamming into so hard. “Fuck me!”

“I am!” He does it again. And again until your eyes start to crash. “I am your partner, and I want to listen to what’s bothering you.”

“Everything!” He stalls his movements, before leaning over you. His hands in a fist to hold his weight off you just enough. But you want to feel him on you. You want to feel that slight pressure and weight, and know that he’s there, “Everything. I don’t know how to explain it, and I don’t know how to talk about it. I spent so many years sucking up my problems because I didn’t have a real job, and he did. You don’t want to hear about my problems because you’re busier than me.”

“I do,” you shake your head no, but Andy grips onto your chin tightly. His hips slowly push and pull him out of your warmth. You really are a damn teenager. Can’t have an adult conversation without needing your boyfriend-fiancé’s cock inside of you, and all you can do is cry and shake your head. “Doe, I want to hear everything. We are partners. When you don’t feel well, I don't feel well. I want you to be happy because that makes my days better.”

“I don’t want him to have our babies,” you said it again without any hesitation. You want Andy to have your children. You would ask him to adopt them today if you knew it was possible.

He nods his head. His rhythm is still so steady, “The custody hearing is getting closer,” it isn’t a question, but you nod your head. He knows that’s part of what’s bothering you, “Honey, I’m not going to let anyone take the kids from us.”

“You can’t promise that,” Andy leans forward, and kisses each cheek, pulling back you notice the shine on his lips. “Did you just kiss my tears away?”

“I did. That’s what I want. I want to kiss away all your tears, and I want us to be okay. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me,” tears steadily flow down your face, and he keeps kissing over your cheeks, and it doesn’t help. Except those tears stop hurting so much. You’re now crying because you’re so happy with the right partner. “Honey, I love you.”

“I love you,” your words bubble over. He’s so perfect, and you’re just not. You’re not a superhuman, you’re not the thinnest, the most beautiful, the smartest, but you know you’re a damn good mom, and you were a good wife to an asshole. But you could be the best wife to Andy. “I want to marry you.”

“You’ve got to get divorced first,” you snort. Finally sounding happier than sadder. He smiles, kissing you gently. “I’ll marry you the day after if that’s what you want.”

“It was always you,” you may sound silly. You two may argue over the stupidest things. But it was always him. “I’m sorry that I’m a child sometimes.”

“You’re normally not,” he bites his lip as he pounds into you quickly. “Now, hold — fucking hell!” He yells, slamming his hand on your phone. “You’re answering it.”

“You are fucking me,” giggling, you read his name, and know why Andy wants you to answer.

“And I’ll keep fucking you. So you better listen to little Scottie the first time,” whimpering, you shake your head no.

“Just finish quickly.”

“I don’t want to, I want to take my time. Answer it.”

Groaning, you click on the phone, “Hey,” Andy is an asshole. He keeps a slow rhythm into your body. “What are you needing?”

“Why do you sound sniffly?”

“My allergies have been irritating me lately,” you can feel his eyes roll, “What’s up?”

“Taylor is wanting to throw Audrey a party,” he blurts out. You don’t hate Taylor. But you don’t think Taylor is capable of throwing Audrey a birthday party either. Plus, she’s got the celebration one in her classroom, and doesn’t love large crowds. “She wants to give her a party at an event center with clowns.”

“She’s terrified of clowns, and characters in costumes,” she likes her characters 2D.

“She’s not over that yet?”

“Are you over your fear of sharks?” Scott huffs. “I’m listening. What else?” Andy pistons into your body so hard that you have to slap your hand over your mouth to keep a sound of deep satisfaction from escaping. “Jerk!”

“Just have Taylor’s family,” why? “And a few kids from her classroom,” a few can range to a large number. “She wants a caterer.”

“For a five year old?” You already see what Taylor is doing. She wants her family there, so she can show off how much her boyfriend can spend on silly little things like a birthday party.

“Not everybody wants to make everything by hand like you, Ms. Perfect,” you know Andy is aware of everything that Scott is saying. It’s why he grits his teeth as he pounds into your body balls deep, and lets the tip of his cock settle against your cervix sweetly. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” just having the best sex with the deepest penetration.

“You’re panting.”

“I just got off the treadmill,” just getting fucked.

“Honey, it’s not baby weight anymore, Suede is two,” another harsh move into you, and Andy’s face starts to turn red. Angry with Scott’s unnecessary harsh words.

“She wants to go to Paris.”

“Absolutely not. I’m not paying for that shit.”

You roll your eyes. Scott seriously didn’t understand, nor were you asking him to pay for anything. “She’s obsessed with Madeline. Why not do a Parisian theme. But for fuck’s sake, can the two of you make sure that Suede can have everything there? You know how kids are.”

“You could keep him that day.”

Andy bites your neck slightly too hard, “Ow.”

“What?” Andy growls on your skin. “Oh god, did I upset Andrew?” No, he’s pissing you off.

“You upset me. Either Suede goes, or you don’t need to throw a party for Audrey,” he starts to say something, but you speak louder, “That’s his sister, and you know the special bond that they have. Either you include Suede in the festivities, or you don’t do it. Audrey will want to talk about it, and it won’t be fair to our son.”

“He’s fucking two years old, he won’t remember it.”

You lift up on your elbows, throwing all caution to the wind when you grab Andy’s ass, and pull him deeper into you. You wink at your fiance. “Do you think he doesn’t know the disdain that you have for him? How you won’t even spend the goddamn time to help him pee in the potty while he’s there? Do you think Audrey doesn’t tell me about the giggling you and Taylor did when he cried because he had an accident that smelled. Shit stinks, you asshole. Even your precious Taylor’s. So either you have a party that Suede can fully be a part of, or don’t bother throwing a party that she doesn’t even want anyways.”

Andy moans, and Scott whispers an expletive. You hope that Scott knows that you’re getting ground into with the biggest cock right now. Andy pushes into you faster. Harder. “Is there a problem, Scott?”

“You can be a bitch sometimes. Just didn’t realize it until after we split.”

“And you can be an asshole sometimes. I always knew it, but I overlooked it for some reason. And if I ever hear about you and Taylor making a comment about Suede’s shitty diaper again…” Andy pushes into you so hard, your eyes roll into the back of your head. You can’t make threats. “He’s a baby, and we are teaching him to potty train. If you don’t want to change diapers, do the same at your house.”

“He’s with you more.”

“Consistency is the key. Is that all?” His side is silent, minus the heavy breathing. You can hear his finger tapping on something. His annoying fucking habit when he gets angry. Fucking asshole. He’s a little bitch. Having to make a two year old feel bad for an accident in his diaper to make him feel superior.

“Audrey shouldn’t — are you,” he pauses. You’ve stunned him into silence, and he doesn’t even know what to say, “What do you want?”

“I want you to treat both our children the same. I want you to treat Suede like he’s your son, and that you love him. I want you to be just as proud of him as you are of Audrey. I want you to stop pushing the responsibilities of our children onto Taylor. I want my son to come home happy. I don’t want him to see me, and not want to let go of me for a few hours. Mmm,” Andy really is an asshole for pushing into you so deep that you can’t stop the sound of bliss.

Scott knows. He knows that Andy is giving it to you so good, and when you get off the phone that Andy is going to fuck you like a slut. “Andy told you to write,” he sighs. Yes, Andy and you have been writing down every indiscretion to your children that he does, “I just can’t connect with him.”

“What are you saying?” Your fingers dig into Andy’s ass. You're angry. You’re pissed. You’re ready to kill your ex.

“I don’t,” he’s choosing his words carefully. You wish he would just rip the bandaid off. “He’s not an easy child. Audrey is. I had bonding time with her. And then…”

“And then my postpartum depression cramped your sex life. And then our son became the number one man in my life. And then our son was sick all the time. You never even tried to connect with him. You never even noticed that I was drowning. All you cared about was getting your dick wet. So my advice to you is to make sure you don’t knock Taylor up, because you can’t handle anything with a penis being put above you. Is that all?”

“Fuck you. You are so self righteous. You act like you’re the perfect fucking parent, and nobody is ever going to compare to you. I hope Andy enjoys trying to please someone who is impossible to please,” you moan again. Having to bite on Andy’s arm. “You fucking slut. How dare you fuck that asshole while you’re talking to me!”

“My fucking slut,” Andy grunts before reaching to your phone, and ending the call. “After this court hearing, and when it’s determined about the kids,” he stops himself. His thrusts are angry. “Do you realize I want to,” you cover his mouth with your hand, shaking your head.

“Do not say that. I just want our,” you smile at him, letting him know that it’s not an accident when you say our, “babies. Oh god,” he ruts into you, and your body becomes soft for him. Pliable to his every move, and you stare at the man that didn’t even have to try, and he reached your ‘impossible’ standards. Scott is wrong. And you’re never going to allow him to hurt your self esteem ever again.

The only thing you want is to know that your babies are safe, and in a loving environment. And if he can’t provide that for them, he might as well just give up trying to fight for them. He only fights for them because it hurts you. But his fight is becoming stale. The only thing he’s holding onto is his pride. Knowing that Audrey could be his legacy, and never thinking that his son could. He wants you to hurt. He wants to shove something in Andy’s face. And all at the expense of his children.

One of these days, he’ll give up on the fight. And when he does, you know that Andy won’t hesitate to pick up those pieces, and be willing to adopt both children, and legally become their father. It’s in knowing a man. It’s knowing that even when you’re acting ridiculous in an argument, that Andy isn’t going to stop. That he’s not going to make some snarky comment that kills your self worth.

He crashes his lips into yours, and the two of you pant. Breathing in each other’s air. Entangling your bodies together in the most beautiful sin. One of these days you won’t have to worry about these conversations. You won’t have to worry about the bane of your existence. You’ll be able to sleep every other weekend because you know that your children are in a safe home.

He presses his forehead against yours while he drives his cock into you so hard. Fusing his body with yours. You can’t look away from his beautiful eyes. Can’t think of anything more besides the fact that Andy is the most beautiful human. Andy is the epitome of a perfect man. Not just in looks, even though he really is the best. But the fact that he isn’t toxic, and he’s all man.

His eyes darken, and his body tightens, “I’m there, Andy.”

“I know, honey,” his salacious moan has your body setting on fire. He’s so vocal during sex that you never have to worry if it truly feels good for him, or if you’re just ‘doing your wifely duties’. “I feel your walls pulsing around me. Squeezing me so tight. Let. Go,” breathing him in, you let every wall fall down as euphoria races through you. Your cunt clenches down around him, and you mewl out his name. Thick. Hot ropes of cum shoot into your pussy, and Andy’s body melts on top of your own.

You just breathe. You soak him all up. Every last drop of him. This will be the one that takes. You know it will be. You furrow your brows as you look up at the ceiling. Counting in your head. Are you even ovulating? Are you…?

“Hey,” he pops up from your chest, smiling, and you forget all the counting. He’s so pretty after sex. “Tomorrow when we go to pick up the kids. There’s somewhere special I want to show you.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Andy!”

“Doe!”

“Daddy!” He covers your mouth with his hand.

“Woman, being called daddy by you is not my thing. I know you’re doing it to make me cringe. But I just had the best sex of my life, and pissed off a little wanna be man in the process. Let me revel in that fact, and also the fact that your cunt is so full of me that your eyes are swimming,” you shake your head no. His hand is still covering you, but he knows you're smiling.

“Yeah, you’re swimming in Andy cum and Andy dick.”

“I love swimming in Andy.”

“Andy just loves you,” and with that, he kisses you softly. Savoring the different taste of you after sex. He could tell you about all the things that are different about you, but he’ll save it. He won’t be able to save it for too much longer. You’re just being too silly and stressed to realize.

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958 @seitmai

@smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings @kmc1989

@pandaxnienke @kmm-fluv @rogersbarber @theinheriteddutchess @buckybarnesisdaddy @hisredheadedgoddess28

[sugarnspice630]

Hey! I really enjoy your writing and audios 😊 So I saw something on instagram the other day about if Ateez will one day do a thirst tweets video. Got me thinking, and so if Ateez did thirst tweets, what kind of tweets do you think each member would have and what would be their reactions??

Thrist Tweets - Ateez Edition

A/N: I LOVE THIS IDEA ANON!!! I'd be happy to provide some tweets I think they'd get to read! I scoured the internet to find the best official Atiny thirst tweets I could find. Let me know if your account is featured! Please be sure to drop a like, reblog if you enjoyed it, and comment your favorite part! Happy reading!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆───

Yunho:

"Oh!" Yunho remarks softly and places his hand over his mouth and leans off to the side. His face and ears turning a bright red as he giggles at the reaction image from the Atiny. "I know a lot of Atiny like my hands so... I'll continue to do my best to show them off to you." He pauses while looking at the camera, purses his lips together and nods softly.

Yeosang:

His mouth curls into a small o shape and he chuckles lightly. Yeosang stares at the phone for a few seconds, not knowing how to react, till the words "Oh my-!" roll out of his mouth. "Oh...my Atiny. I'm afraid I might hurt you if I do that."

Seonghwa:

"That's quite a list." Seonghwa rereads the tweet in front of him. A soft toothy smirk appears on his face and he looks up at the camera through his eyebrows. "Perhaps we can make that happen, yeah?" His one eyebrow rises at the end of the sentence, then a full fledged smile comes across his face, embarrassed by how he just responded.

Hongjoong:

Hongjoong cracks the biggest smile he can, with all of his teeth showing. His eyes squeezing shut as he leans forward in a silent laugh. "Just...hit me up." He raises his hand, sticking out his pinky and thumb to make a telephone, over to his ear and shakes it while smirking slyly. "I'll make myself available just for you."

Wooyoung:

He stays quiet while reading over the tweet a few more times. He softly bites his lip and squints his eyes, trying desperately to think of a clever response. "Sounds like you're hungry for some breakfast....I can bring the sausage." His tongue glides across his lip and he catches it in his teeth, leaving it stick out a little.

San:

"Oh?" He shuts his eyes tightly and purses his lips, trying to hide his laughter at the reaction picture. He puts his hand into a fist and covers his mouth, looking off to the side, blush spreading onto his cheeks. "If this is what Atiny want, I'll continue to make my chest look incredible for you." He says as he places his arm over his pecs, one hand gripping his defined chest.

Mingi:

"So you're the one who did that?" He chuckles lightly, thinking back to the Bouncy music video. "Perhaps I could turn myself in to you? You keep the money and just take me as the reward." He raises his eyebrow towards the camera with a straight face and then busts out into laughter.

Jongho:

"You don't think I know how attractive I am?" He pauses and pouts towards the camera, putting up a fake facade of being hurt by the comment. His facial expression drops as his tone gets more serious. "No no no...I'm just saving your heart from not being able to take my full potential."

Tags: @pre1ttyies @isiloiale @moongoddess1982 @xuchiya @myloveforyunho @ywtfvs @meowmeeps @tinyelfperson @httpseungmxn @acupoftaewithsomesuga @tiredlittlevirgo @no1likevie @arki-sha @yeosangsbbg @sanipan @10nantscompanion @sugawara-levi @skzooluvr @hongjng8

[system-of-a-feather]

hi, i have been thinking about the topic of fusion, and what i want my long-term goals to be, and i was wondering. do you ever feel like being fused is exhausting? not the process of fusion, i know thats exhausting because healing is exhausting. but like. do you ever feel overwhelmed due to being all parts of yourself at once? i havent experienced any fusions yet (hopefully in the future!) but ive seen people talk about how even when fused, none of the parts disappear but instead are all part of the "you" that always exists. my only frame of reference for how that feels for myself is blendy cofronting, which in my experience can be pleasant with 2 or 3 parts, but any more than that gets overwhelming and disorienting

Actually? Surprisingly? No. Not really at all honestly. The funny thing is that I used to wonder the same thing so I absolutely understand the frame of reference and perspective and assumptions that go with it, but its extremely comfortable and LOW energy to be fused for me.

The actual thing that happens is that you don't really get that "too many parts in front" fatigue like... ever or fronting fatigue like ever - at least thats how it is for me.

I relax a whole fuck ton better as a fused whole and while a lot of fusion still has me having to learn my new / fused "me" and how I operate on a baseline, thats an entirely different thing than trying to balance all the differing and contrasting parts or trying to understand and negotiate that because like... They are all simultaneously me and I VERY freely and fluidly exist as and between all of them. There isn't really "compromise" I have to make because.... we just co-exist harmoniously as one without even needing to explicitly talk about it or discuss or put intention into coming to a shared understanding, we just... do and know and its really really really really fucking easy living as a fused whole compared to being multiple parts

Like even if you were to ask me just as ONE part versus how I am now, there is not a single part in our system that has ever actually been so comfortable and so not-fatigued existing as I am as a whole

Everythings a lot more balanced, managable and our window of tolerance is STUPID fucking large - and I don't mean that in a "relative to where we used to be" or "relative to someone with as much trauma as I do" but genuinely STUPIDLY huge compared to most generally neurotypical non-traumatized not-severely-mentally ill people and I largely thank that to Post Traumatic Growth honestly.

But like... tldr, not really at all for me surprisingly. Maybe really early post fusion when I was still figuring myself out a lot but like.... Thats more so the process of fusing than being fused itself imo.

(Side note edit: Sometimes I DO think itd be better to explore a situation and issue as independent parts and so sometimes I DO operate in a more system / plural way of existing for however long its beneficial, but thats less to do with fusion not helping me as much as it is that I think a plural lens and perspective has a lot of perks in navigating complicated situations.)

Anyways tagging a few others who might have a different answer / perspective on this since they are either in a different stage of a fusion / integration and/or have a different way of existing with their fused / integrated state than me.

@hiiragi7 @reimeichan @subsystems

[hyunluvbug]

show me how to love | five - love me

pairing: hwang hyunjin x afab reader

content warnings: NSFW MDNI!!!🔞, kissing, fingering, unprotected sex (stay protected yall o7), semi possessive (we love to see it), praise

word count: 1803

a/n: a new part??? omg we cheered lol, here is the next part and i plan for part 6 to be the last part of this series. thank you so much to everyone who has been reading and interacting <3 i hope u enjoy :)

She wakes up and feels like she had the best sleep ever. There is immense warmth beneath her, her eyes cast down to see Hyunjin fast asleep. His chest moves up and down from his breaths. One of his arms still lays over her waist, she feels her face warm up as she remembers what happened last night. How could this have actually happened? She has always dreamed about Hyunjin confessing his feelings to her and to be honest she did not think he even felt the same way. To now know that this beautiful and amazing guy, one of her best friends, is in love with her? It felt like a dream. A dream she did not want to wake up from. She lays back down onto Hyunjin’s chest but feels him stir a little bit and his arm around her tighten. She keeps her eyes open as she looks up at him, her free hand goes up to a stray hair on his forehead. She pushes it out of the way and continues to stare at him, he is one of the most angelic people she has ever seen. What is he doing to her?

“Enjoying the view?” Hyunjin mumbles and she feels her heart almost drop out of her ass. His eyes open to meet hers and he smirks at her. “You were awake that whole time?”

“Not the whole time, just from when you couldn't resist touching me.” He teases and pulls her closer, if that is even possible. She can feel his breath on her face, “How could I not?” She smiles at him. He leans down to press his lips to hers passionately. She gets on top of him and he grunts. His mind goes crazy from the thoughts of her riding him. As they are kissing, her phone begins to ring. Hyunjin does not let up from the kiss while she is trying to pull away. “Hyunjin, I have to get the phone.” She said between kisses and Hyunjin mumbles in response. He pulls away from her and kisses all over her face. She giggles from the feeling and he grabs her phone from the coffee table. 

“Answer it.” He mischievously smirks. She looks at the screen to see that Han is calling her, she answers the phone and puts it to her ear. “Hello?” 

“Y/n! I thought you died! Are you doing alright? I didn’t hear from you all day yesterday.” While Han is talking, Hyunjin sits up and pushes Y/n below him with her back to the couch. He begins to run his hands down her legs and goes to unbutton her pants. Her eyes widen as she watches him take her pants off. 

“Yes, I am fine. There is nothing to worry about.”

“Nothing to worry about? You were an absolute DISASTER the last time I saw you. Are you sure that I don’t need to talk to Hyunjin myself?” 

With her pants fully off, Hyunjin runs a finger down her panties right over her slit sending a shiver down her back. She holds back a moan as Hyunjin continues to rub her over her underwear. 

“I swear there is nothing to worry about. Hyunjin and I are on good terms.” She says beginning to sound more hoarse than she intends to. His movements become quicker over her clit and she bites down on her lip. 

“Okay if you say so. But, I wanted to ask you something.” Han says and to be honest she didn't want to keep talking to him especially with how good Hyunjin was making her feel. Hyunjin looks at her with a smirk and stops his movements on her clit. He leans down to pull her underwear down and before she knows it, his finger is inside her. She inhales a loud breath and remembers that Han is still on the phone. “Uh- yes. What did you need to ask me?” She replies and Hyunjin begins to finger her at a slow rhythm. It takes everything in her not to moan out loud for him. Everything that Han says to her leads to her responding with only, “Mhmm.” “Yeah” and “Okay.” She could not tell you what he was saying, all her focus was on how good Hyunjin is making her feel. 

“Thank you so much for listening Y/n. I appreciate it.” 

“Mhmm, no problem.”

“Oh and tell Hyunjin I said hey.” 

Her eyes widen and before she is able to respond he hangs up. Hyunjin looks down at her with amusement, his finger begins to speed up. Finally she is able to let out all the moans she had been holding in. “Fuck Hyunjin.” 

Hyunjin chuckles, “You were such a good girl for me. But now I want to listen to you.” His fingers keep the same rhythm, as he leans down to press his lips to hers. She moans into his mouth while his finger speeds up. She groans more into his mouth and she can feel him smirk. He pulls away from her mouth and pulls his finger out. She pouts up at him and his fingers go down to his own pants. He undoes his buckle and takes his pants off. She waits hungrily as he pulls down his boxers next. She feels her breath grow more unsteady as he pushes her legs further apart to get between them. His hands find her waist and when he pulls her closer her head hits the couch softly. His hands run up to the bottom of her top and pull her shirt over her head. 

“Sit up for me.” He mumbles and she leans forward, his warm hand goes behind her back to unclasp her bra. Her boobs now move freely and his gaze darkens. He pushes her back down onto the couch. She feels his cock brush up against her core and her back arches slightly. He looks down at her as he pushes inside, “Fuck!” He exclaims once he is fully in. “How are you so tight?” He groans, his cock begins to slowly move inside her as he finds his rhythm. She can feel him so deeply and her mind is already beginning to break from the pleasure. 

“Shit, you’re so hot.” He moans and she moans in response. His rhythm begins to speed up. Her boobs begin to move with each thrust, the sounds of their moans and skin fill the ear. Hyujin leans down to her and places a hand on one of her boobs. The softness of his hands meets the softness of her skin. Her moans become higher the faster he goes. “You take it so well baby.” He grunts and picks up the pace. 

“Hyunjin please.” She breathes out, her hands reach behind her to hold on to the couch. 

“Fuck. Can you turn around?” He pulls out of her and she turns around with her ass in the air. Hyunjin repositions himself and begins to fuck her even faster (if that is even possible). His hand meets her ass with a loud smack and she moans into the couch. He grabs both of her arms to pull her up to his chest. “You’re such a good girl baby. I fucking love this pussy.” He grunts into her ear and she moans in response. 

“You’re mine baby. No one else’s.” He says into her ear and places a kiss onto her cheek. He continues fucking into her, his eyes beginning to roll and her breaths coming out into whimpers. “I am so close, are you close baby?” He asks and she moans yes in response. 

“I want you to cum for me, okay angel? I am right with you.” His cock reaches a deeper place into her and she feels herself about to come undone. “I am going to cum.” She moans out and he grunts in response. 

“Cum baby.”

At that command, she cums around him and he continues a few more thrusts before he pulls out. “Turn around baby.” He says gently and she turns around to see him stroking his cock towards her face. “I am going to cum on that pretty face, claim you as mine.” 

She groans in response as she watches his hand work on his cock. A few more strokes and he is cumming. His cum lands on her face and some of it gets into her mouth. She giggles as he continues to paint her face. Hyunjin breathes out a loud groan and looks down at her. His hands reach her face, “You look so beautiful right now.” He gushed. She felt her face flush from the compliment. “Let me get you some tissues.” He places a kiss on her face and gets up from the couch. 

She lays down on one of the couch pillows feeling exhausted. When Hyunjin returns, she is able to get a good look at his naked body. His body is unlike anything she could have ever imagined. Hyunjin walks over to her and wipes her face for her. He sits down beside her and lets out a long sigh. “That was amazing.” He smiles at her and she nods in agreement. “Can I request that we take a post sex nap?” She leans up with her arms open. 

“How could I ever deny that request?” He teases and lays down in her arms. She strokes his hair as they lay together. 

“By the way what did Han say?”

She looks down at him, “I am gonna be so honest, I have no idea.” Hyunjin giggles in accomplishment.  “But, he definitely knew something was up. He told me to tell you hi for him.” 

Hyunjin begins to laugh more and she glares down at him playfully. “It’s not funny! I don’t know how I will face him now.” She grunts in annoyance as well as embarrassment. 

“I’m sure it won’t be as bad as you think.” 

“Are you sure you know the Han that we are talking about? This guy will make it his whole ass personality. Just watch” She sighs. She suddenly feels a small vibration under her arm. She had forgotten her phone was still on the couch from before. She picks up her phone to see she has tons of messages from her group chat with Han, Chan, Changbin, Lee Know, Felix, Jeongin, and Seungmin. Messages like “I THINK HYUNJIN AND Y/N ARE HAVING SEX.” from Han and other messages like ‘FINALLY!!” “Took them long enough” and “I won’t believe it until I see it” come from the others. She groans in frustration.

“Like I said, he will make it his whole personality.” She said and showed Hyunjin the phone. Hyunjin just began to laugh at all the messages and decided to reply. 

“We did have sex :) - Hyunjin.”

[drdemonprince]

i'd like to say sth abt the x gender marker thing. i've just started getting the paperwork done for it myself, and although its an exhausting grueling bureaucratic pricess, it's filling me w the kind of joy i last felt when i got my first hrt prescription. i know i will have constant difficulties in a system of institutions that have no official way of dealing w nonbinary identities, and i fully expect the openly white nationalist party in my country to become a significant influence in national government within the next 10 years. i also have an escape plan of sorts, but i'm fully expecting that i may be legally detransitioned again. i would still be betraying myself fundamentally and stealing joy from myself, something that i get to have very little of, if i didn't do it anyway, bc i already cannot access plenty of services including healthcare bc i'm simply too dysphoric and institutionally traumatized to show up and be misgendered. there is no such thing as stealth or passing for a nonbinary person in the society i live in, only erasure; i might as well exercise this tiny amount of power i have been given for a brief time to force them to acknowledge me as who i am. i agree that having one's gender be irrelevant to one's personhood, including legally, would be vastly preferable, but i don't see how me getting an x in my id detracts from or otherwise influences that. my government already has plenty of ways of getting lists of trans ppl if they ever want one. i may be painting a target on my back, but as far as i am concerned, it is already there bc i am already incredibly vulnerable and restricted as a trans person for whom passing or stealth is not an option. i might as well get marginalized for who and what i am and make them look me in the eye at a doctor's office while they awkwardly tell me they don't have the infrastructure to process me as a patient than cringe and stammer while i tell them that actually i'm transgender and i would prefer for them to address me as this or that while knowing damn well they just see me as a quirky woman that they may or may not humor for hashtag diversity's sake. they may still do that ofc, but for all the risks and trouble i am incurring, it also corrects the scales of institutional power just a tiny bit in my favor by giving me legal grounds to argue. i'm also terrified of the police for good reasons, but i'm more terrified of them as a misgendered and scared but not out trans person unsure if and how much to advocate for myself than i am as someone confident enough to at least get hurt for who i am, rather than for who i am not and hiding out of fear of worse punishment. i am not advocating for anyone else to do or not do the same bc it is a subjective and highly varied set of risks and rewards that must be personally evaluated, and above all i'm very aware that as a white (not us) person, for all the institutional violence i have previously endured, i would be risking far worse if i were not, but as far as i am concerned, it feels like one of the best, most powerful things i can do for myself right now is to get the damn papers even if in the worst case they end up taking them away from me again.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I remember that when I was nonbinary and not medically transitioning, I felt much the same way. I was ready to really throw myself on the pyre for the sake of just actually being seen as not the gender I had been forced to be, for once. And honestly? Nothing short of medical transition did that. All the changes to my personal style, hair, comportment, voice training, the pronoun pins, the asserting myself, the putting pronouns in my email signature, the changing my medical forms and documentation at work to make me nonbinary, none of it made what felt like any lick of difference in how i was treated, because nonbinary identities are so thoroughly erased. The ONLY thing that got people to start treating me as gender ambiguous or to they/them me was to begin to transition as a trans man and use he/him pronouns, lol. (And eventually, most people did switch over to actually gendering me correctly as a guy, tho I still do get the they/them once in a while which annoys me and it's always VERY telling who tends to do it).

I don't know your situation or if you have medically transitioned in any fashion or not, or if you even want to, and our stories are different, but all of which is to say, I know how immensely frustrating it is and how confining it is to interpreted as your assigned gender seemingly no matter what you fucking do, and that sensation of being willing to take on serious risk to be seen. if anything that was part of what tipped me over into self conceptualizing as a gender nonconforming man rather than outside the binary altogether. different risks that i chose to take on, but still, the decision to take on risk rather than be locked away inside how people saw me.

I think structural nonbinary erasure runs so deep that very few individual level actions can make a dent in it and it's maddening. Of course there's all the intersections with transmisogyny that also impact who is visible as trans and who is not and who finds themselves yearning for greater visibility and those for whom visibility is nothing but massive vulnerability that itself cannot be escaped. But I understand that you've considered everything carefully and are aware of the risks in what you're taking on, and I hope that it does mean you don't feel that confined unseen feeling anymore. Because as much as I'm qualifying things I do know how fucking awful that sensation is and how few avenues there are for doing a damn thing about it that people will take seriously.

[skyrim-forever]

WIP Wednesday

It's another Wednesday people, let's see those wips. Tagged by the always incredible @changelingsandothernonsense (seeing Josh always improves my day <3) and I got tagged @bostoniangirl21 for a WIP whenever <3

Tagging: @dirty-bosmer @theoneandonlysemla @lucien-lachance @thequeenofthewinter @captain-of-silvenar @firefly-factory

@pocket-vvardvark @hircines-hunter @bougainvillea-and-saltwater @umbracirrus

Do I have two chapters I should be working on? Yes. Am I working on a silly little Post-Alduin/Pre-Happy Ending self-induglant fic instead? Absolutely :P Under the cut because suggestive, enjoy! 🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️🧜‍♀️

“You went swimming often at home, did you?” 

“I did, whenever I was stressed; hence I’ve been in the water every day since returning.” She looks up at him with a soft smile, a memory coming into view. “When I was young I used to tell my father I wanted to grow up and be a mermaid.” He laughs. 

“A mermaid? Well, that’s quite the ambition.” 

“Oh I had a plan and everything, asked Father to find a wizard who could do it. I didn’t know how magic worked at the time so I thought wizards could do anything. And Father had a guy for everything, ergo he had a guy who could turn me into a mermaid.”

“Ah yes, there must be some type of alteration spell that could do that.” He leans down to kiss her, she notes that this is the first kiss he’s initiated this evening. Though appreciated of how gentle he’s being, so very grateful for him; how badly she wants more than just a kiss. “That’s very amusing of you.” He chuckles. “You’re certainly beautiful enough, I’m sure if I saw you out at sea I’d be easily fooled.”

“You would, would you?” An opportunity seems to be arising. “Do you think I could convince you to jump overboard? Plunge yourself into the sea to be with me?” She pulls him down, their lips meeting again. Carefully, she nibbles on the corner which only succeeds in making him break the kiss. 

His pupils are wide, glossy-eyed but he still shows concern. 

“Theodora, are you sure you want this? I am far from against it but I do not want you forcing yourself on my behalf. Last thing I want is to rush, forget myself and hurt you.” 

“I love your concern, Ondolemar; it’s what is making me want to. Knowing you’ll be so tender and slow.” Eyes are lidded for the next sentence. "I have beaten back the World-Eater, no mere mortal can hurt in a way that matters. Certainly not the likes of him." She grabs the front of his tunic. "And besides, I'd have to force myself not to want you, and as we know that is futile effort." The change in expression indicates he gives credence to her answer. 

“Is that so?” Another kiss, deeper and it makes her head spin. Yes. Despite the urge to sit back further, nearly laying down and pulling him on top of her, she doesn’t. He has a question to answer. 

“I believe I asked you a question.” 

“Hmm.” He steals another quick peck. “You did, you wanted to know if I’d throw myself overboard, so captivated by you by you I lose all sense of reason. 

“Yes.” She hums. 

“Well, you’ve bewitched me across the province, tempted me into closets while both of us are surrounded by our superior officers; it would seem I abandoned reason long ago. I think a better question is what I wouldn’t do for you?” He looks off into the distance. “To that which I do not know.” He turns back to her, barely hearing what he says as she’s so distracted by how the fire makes him glow. “So yes, you could probably get me to drown myself if you looked at me the right way.”

Between the warmth of the fire and his equally burning gaze, Theodora feels unbearably hot. Her eyes slowly move from him to the water. The light from Masser and Secunda makes the lake look so inviting, the summer breeze still warm despite the night. If he’d throw himself overboard then perhaps… Taking his hand she goes for it. 

“What are you doing?” Her boots are kicked off and then thrown back towards the fire. 

“I’m testing your claim.” 

“Do not tell me you expect me to get in the water with you, it’s likely teeming with slaughterfish.” She rolls her eyes, giggling.

“I’ll have you know they stay much further east in summer.”  

“Ah, so they are found here.” Hmmm, what was that he said? If I looked at him the right way? 

“If you’re too afraid of being an exotic snack to the creatures of Lake Illinata, you can stay here, love.” Tuning away from him, the stale tunic and brown trousers find their way to the ground. Though she normally forgoed smallclothes when home alone, particularly now as she couldn’t even be bothered with the rest of the world; the choice was proving even more fruitful when she turned back around. “But I’m going to cool off.” Fingers fleetingly touch his clothed chest before she enters her beloved lake. 

Facing him, she watches his eyes linger as the water envelopes her. It’s brisk and invigorating, but could be so much more so if she was not alone. 

“It’s lovely in here, Ondolemar.” Laying on her back, Theodora continues taunting him. “Why don’t you come join me?” Slipping beneath she submerges herself, finding so much peace in the quiet below. Popping back up, hair flipping overhead, she looks at him the right way. That much is evident as he removes his own clothes, casting them aside to wade through the water. As he approaches, the wanting expression creates quite the contrast with his words. 

“So this will be how I die.”

[theseeingfawn]

Chapter 9: The Hills Have Eyes Part 1

Summary:

Here is a short little smutty tease chapter for you lovely readers.   “Live dangerously and you live right” Goethe

Azriel

I have never wanted to kill someone more. Closing my eyes l force myself to calm down and take a deep breath. My heart rate slows, time suddenly shifting as if I have minutes instead of seconds to think this through. Realistically it's just the adrenaline sharpening my senses. I've always been at my best during a crisis. With Elain Archeron panting underneath me, and my ill tempered brother pounding on the door, this certainly qualifies as one.

There are so many ways this can go wrong but the only thing that matters is protecting Elain. 

I look down and see panic flash in those soft brown eyes. A sick demented part of me is turned on by the spark of fear I see there. I pang of need shoots through.  I;m intrigued to know how buttoned up, perfect sweet Elain would react when caught red handed. 

I stay exactly where I am, opting to relish the fleeting feeling of the press of my body into hers. She's soft and supple beneath me. I know I should move but I just don’t want to. No reasonable man would. 

Rhys’ impatient fist pounds into the door again, “Damnit, Azriel I know you’re in there.”

I fight back a smirk, something about pissing him off pleases me. Maybe it’s some psychological need to get back at his father through him. Maybe I just like being one of the only people who isn't afraid to piss him off. I can’t really be sure.  

I turn back to Elain, “Listen to me, you are going to go out my window and sneak into the sunroom. Got it?” She nods frantically, all the while my hand is still pressed firmly against her mouth. “Good girl.” I whisper and kiss her forehead just because I can. “I’ll take care of Rhys.”

I reluctantly drag myself off Elain and pull her to her feet. I take her soft hand and lead her to the window. I help her out, advising on the best way to descend the drain pipe. But to my surprise she is as sure footed as she is nimble making her way down. She’s just full of surprises.

Turning back to the door, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I hardly recognize the man I see there. He looks softer, almost happy. His pants are also fully tented, yeah that's a problem. I close my eyes, picturing the time I caught Cass experimenting with at home waxing which fixes that problem. As it always does and always will. I suppress a shudder.  The pounding at my door resumes and I resign myself to tackling the other problem.

I open the door calmly as if I hadn’t heard Rhys this whole time. He barrels through the door, his eyes searching for someone who is clearly not here. “Where is she?” he demands. I fight back a smirk, “Who?”

I watch as he slowly turns to face me, a look of pure rage that would rival my own as he says, “You. Know. Who.” Each one word syllable punctuated with malice. I furrow my brow in feigned confusion, “I honestly don’t know what you are on about.”

He huffs at me and bites out, “ Elain .”  

“Why would she be in here?” I ask innocently. 

“That’s an interesting question, why don’t you give me some ideas?” He retorts. 

“Because you are imagining things?” I say growing bored of this situation. 

“I know you had her in here. I know the two of you have been sneaking around. The others may buy that you both happen to have secret lovers that coincidentally are not each other, but I don’t.”

I refuse to respond, I just patiently wait for him to keep talking. The quiet unsettles him as he waits for a rebuttal that doesn’t come. 

He sighs, “Damnit Azriel, where is she?”

“I presume she is downstairs, where you last saw her.” He closes his eyes in annoyance. 

“You are to stay away from her, Azriel.” I tense at his order. 

“You can’t tell me to do that.” I snap back at him. 

“I just did and if you were smart you would want to stay away.” He rubs his brow, “Your job is dangerous.”

“You think I would put her in danger?” I ask, unable to help myself. 

“It's the very nature of what you do. You can’t even be honest with her about what you really are. You can’t reveal you're actually a Fed and maintain your cover with the criminal underground.” 

I bristle at his words, “I’ve told you. I don’t hide it from Cass or Mor.” I add feeling the cold bitterness of reality hitting me. 

He gives me a bewildered look, “The three of us have ties to your past, ties to some element of organized crime. But Elain has no connections. You will always have to hide her from what you do and what you do from her. She will ask questions you can’t answer and what happens if the Attors find out about her?”

“I’ll kill them,” I state without hesitation. 

“I know,”  he says sympathetically . “And you doing so will destroy everything you’ve worked for. It will jeopardize your relationship with the FBI and compromise your assets in the field.”

I shake my head, not wanting to hear what he’s saying. Not wanting to hear the truth. 

“So, you’ll stay away from her,” his tone final. I turn to walk out of the room when he adds, “because you were right to worry about Kier.”

I stop dead in my tracks and turn to look at my brother who collapses to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“What do you mean?” 

He lets out a long breath more rattled than I’ve ever seen him, “I looked closer at his books after our little chat and noticed a few discrepancies. At first I thought it was an accidental transfer to an old account but I started to notice a pattern. Every three weeks he deposits $25,000 in an offshore account.”

I nod. “The account is tied to an old LLC that my father used to own so I didn’t think much of it until a new transfer came in right at three weeks. I did some digging and found an old ledger with Hybern’s name on it.”

I freeze, sensing where this is going. “Kier has been working with Hybern? With the Attors?” 

He nods, “I think so.”

“Send me what you have and I'll do some intel.” I turn to walk away again. 

Before I can leave he adds, “You will stay away from her or I'll make you regret it.”

I freeze in the doorway. I know if I turn around my face will reveal everything I have tried so hard to conceal. He can't know what she means to me. If he did he would be even more alarmed. 

“I'll go to Devlon and tell him about your other activities… the ones you hide from the FBI.” The pang of betrayal hits me deep in the chest. My own brother no less. “If you need to fuck someone, find a biker chick at Amarantha’s or one of your underground hole in the walls. You aren't… ”

Before he can finish the sentence I'm barreling down the stairs and out the front door of the townhouse. I don’t stop to see if Elain made it back to the group. I can’t bear the thought of seeing her right now. 

I walk for what feels like hours before I'm level headed enough to go back to the townhouse. By the time I return everyone is gone. I take a look at the information Rhy left for me, deciding to focus on work as a distraction. 

From the looks of it, Rhys is right. Kier has been working with Hybern. So, I call Devlon to inform him. We come up with a way to fold Kier into the gun smuggling scheme and continue on with our plan. 

By the time the sunsets my mind goes back to Elain. I didn't even get the chance to tell her a proper goodbye. The thought of cutting all contact with no explanation after nearly fucking her in my room doesnt sit right. She deserves better than that. She deserves so much more than I can give her. If Rhys was right about anything, it was that. 

She deserves to hear from me that our little arrangement is over face to face. Even if I'm not allowed to be with her I will still have to be around her and I don't want to make it any harder on her than it needs to be. I resign myself to the conversation I have to have with her. 

I slip into the night and walk the few short blocks it takes to get to Petals. The walk gives me some time to mull over my words so that I can make this as painless as possible. I'm confident she’ll be able to move on. But, if I've learned anything from my years of pining for Mor, it's that once I’ve formed an attachment there is no going back. This is it for me. 

The shop is dark and closed up for the night. The faint smell of baked bread lingers around the front providing a modicum of comfort. I walk around the back and see the faint glow from her second story apartment window. The one I've gotten far too used to sneaking in to. A pang of nostalgia hits me as I realize this will be the last time. 

I pull myself up the lattice and push on the window. It opens easily and I'm able to slip in. The first thing I notice is the smell of sugar and lemons, a freshly baked pie sits on the counter cooling. I look around searching for Elain expecting her to be nearby given the state of the pie but her place is quiet. I call out to her softly, “Elain are you here? We need to talk.”

I hear nothing but the gentle sounds of the end of summer. The hymn of grasshoppers and frogs from the garden below. I debate whether or not she could have slipped out. I wrack my brain trying to think of where she could be. It’s not the right day for the knitting circle and her girls nights are typically here. Maybe she is at the store or with Lucien working on town council bullshit. I sigh, turning back toward the window ready to leave. 

But then I hear her, gently calling my name. “Yes,” I reply as I make my way to the back of her apartment to the only bedroom. Her door is cracked and buttery light spills out on the floor, “Listen, I just -”

My words die on my tongue as my jaw falls open, my eyes taking in the most beautiful sight I've ever witnessed.

A gentle vibration fills the air, and it seems to be coming from the pink object that Elain holds between her lush unblemished thighs spread wide and pressed against her bed. 

And Elain? Is completely naked, her gently curved body is on full display as she writhes from pleasure. Her head is thrown back as she moans desperately. 

“Azriel” she whimpers my name once more. A wave of arousal shoots straight to my cock. The feeling so intense I stumble forward slightly. 

“Holy gods,” I whisper in disbelief. 

Elain's head rolls to the side, eyes hooded, weighed down with lust as she looks around before her gaze finds mine. If she moans my name again I will die on the spot.

But she doesn't, a moment passes and then she screams in horror. That look of panic in her eyes comes back full force and I groan. Her fear only turns me on more. My dick is so hard I feel a bit lightheaded. I let out an uneasy breath because whatever I had planned for tonight is out the window. This, this is so much better. I smirk knowing I think best on my feet. 

Elain

I am frozen to the spot, unable to move. Horrified beyond what I thought possible. Azriel caught me masturbating with a sex toy. My chest is heaving trying to suck in air as my brain reels. Why is he just standing there and oh gods why is he smiling like that? 

“What are you doing here?” I practically shriek knowing full well my voice is two octaves higher than normal. “You can't just sneak into my window like that Azriel! Are you insane?”

His smirk disappears at the sound of my yelling.

I pull the pink sheet snuggly around my body. The vibrator shaking violently in my hand branding me like the harlot I am. I toss it to the side in mortification hoping I can somehow will it to vanish. 

To my horror, it only vibrates louder against the hardwood floor drawing Azriel's full attention to it. His eyes locked on it like it holds the secrets to the universe. 

I clammer off the bed, stepping forward as I snap my fingers in his face. Trying to get him to pay attention to anything else. I can’t watch him gawk at my sex toy any longer. 

I'm going to kill Nuala.

His head turns slowly back to me. “Out! Get out of here! You shouldn't be here... You shouldn’t have kissed me!” I shout at him trying to blame anyone but myself for this situation. 

“You kissed me!” He shouts back at me. His face flush. An uncharacteristic display of emotion form his usually stoic demeanor. He wasn’t expecting me to yell. 

“Impossible!” I say indignantly. How dare he come into my home and accuse me of kissing him. That doesn't sound like something I would do which is exactly what I tell him.

He grits his teeth, “Stop yelling at me.” His flushed cheeks start to fade as his cool mask falls back into place which only makes me more upset. How dare he be calm at a time like this. 

“You saw my vagina!” I screech as the panic escalates. 

“I saw a whole lot more than that sweetheart.” My cheeks burn my palms as I bury my face in my hands, ready to die of embarrassment. 

“Look,” he says in that stupidly calm tone, “I just came here to apologize for earlier when I took certain liberties with you in my room. I got carried away.” 

“Apology accepted,” I say as I grab his impossibly large bicep and try to shove him back toward the window. 

“Okay, but just don't be embarrassed. This is all my fault anyway,” he says guiltily. I nod because this is all his fault.

“Great,” I say as he turns toward the window. I pull the sheet tighter around me, thighs rubbing together spreading my arousal. 

“Wait,” he whispers as he turns around. My heart pounds against my chest as his eyes meet mine. A flash of something dangerous dances amongst the hazel as he takes a step toward me. Then another. My stomach hollows out and I feel my legs start to tremble. “You said my name.”

I gasp, “I did not.” I most assuredly did. Several times. 

“You did.” 

I shake my head, “did not.” Suddenly I feel childish and small in front of his intimidating confidence. 

“ Azriel,” he drags his name out on a moan. A devious smile pulls on those plush lips of his and I slink backward. 

He looks like he is about to devour me whole and I don't think I would put up a fight. I step around the edge of the bed trying to escape in vain.

“You are supposed to be the mature one.” I say defensively. That makes him smile wider. I trip over the edge of my floral comforter and he grabs onto my sheet and pulls me upright. 

His gaze falls back to the pink vibrator that's finally stopped buzzing on the floor. It no doubt lost all of its charge from vigorous use. “Do you need someone to do that for you?” He asks.

“I can do it fine on my own, thanks.” I say with all the grace I can muster at a time like this. 

“Are you sure about that angel Elain. ” He mocks.

How dare he use that nickname. “I kissed you, didn't I?” I say defensively. 

His smile grows wider, “So you admit it? You did kiss me.”

“I,” I wring my hand at my side. “I admit to nothing.”

“That's too bad,” his chin dips down as his eyes take me in. His tongue sweeps tauntingly over his bottom lip. “Do you remember telling me you want to be bad?”

His grip on the sheet tightens as he pushes me backward. “I'm thinking you heard me come through that window,” he smiles down at me smugly pushing me back a little further. “I think you knew I would come.”

He leans in closer, his hot breath caressing my already overheated skin, “You wanted to be caught.” He tuts and presses me firmly into the wall, “You said my name to lure me in here so I would see this perfect fucking body, didn’t you?” He asks, arrogant as ever. 

Before I get the chance to reply, he continues on, “You wanted it before you told yourself you should fight this feeling. You've been a good, proper girl but you don't want to be her anymore, do you?” 

I shudder because he’s right. I assumed he would seek me out. I had waited for hours for him to come. I even baked a pie to try and distract myself. But, I couldn’t wait. The longer it took the more I got worked up. I couldn’t stop thinking about how delicious it was to have him pressed between my thighs. How positively fiendish I felt when he covered my mouth with his rough hand. Even now the thought of him doing it again has me pressing my thighs together. So, yes I may have decided to take care of things myself. I wasn’t sure he would sneak in but I had hoped he would.

His grin is absolutely devious when he adds, “I want to see who you are when you drop the act and let that wickedness out.”

I’m going to ruin you, is what he said in his bedroom, when he pinned me down on the bed. No one has ever done that to me. Other men, Graysen even, treated me like I was made of glass. But not Azriel. I had touched a nerve. He didn’t like that I called him out and challenged him. That I saw him. I didn’t censor myself, I let that truth out and oh how I was rewarded. 

Something inside me snaps, I feel practically feral as I tear the sheet from his fist and throw it to the ground, barring myself to him.

“You want me to help you?”

“Azriel.” I whimper, trembling with need, his rough fingers ghost over mine.

“Yeah,” he groans, “Just like that. That’s exactly how you sounded when you moaned my name.” He runs his palm against my cheek savoring the feel of it. 

I bite my lip and lean my head back before closing my eyes. Waiting for him to devour me. But he doesn’t.

Instead I feel the cold air hit my sensitive nipples as he steps away. The swaggering smile is nothing short of pleased as he watches me. 

“I’d hate to misread this situation, though. So, if I’m right, if you want my help...” He rubs his hand across his sharp jaw. “You’ll have to ask nicely.”

A rough sound escapes my throat in protest, and before I can tell myself no to something I want for the millionth time in my life, I launch myself at him. 

I throw myself at his chest and bury my fingers in his hair. He catches me as I wrap my legs around his waist. “Please,” I beg, “please help me.”

He growls and throws me on the bed. Prowling on top of me like the predator he is. 

His eyes take me in, all of me and I feel my arousal pool in my lower belly. 

He curses under his breath as he traces my lips with his finger. “Open.” He commands and I do, eager to please him.

His textured skin glides across my smooth tongue and I moan. He eases his finger back out and I grab on with my teeth, sucking him in deeper. “Fuck,” he growls. I smirk around his finger and tease it with my tongue. He watches, eyes clouded with lust and awe. 

“Are you going to let me take care of you tonight? Because if you keep doing that I won’t be able to help myself. I’ll take what I need.” 

I release his finger, “Yes.” I want him to take what he needs.

He groans desperately, “Fuck, Elain.” 

I quirk an eyebrow at him and he shakes his head in disbelief, “You are going to be the death of me.” I try to stifle my giggle by biting my lower lip and he growls.

He leans down and pulls my lip free as he sucks into his mouth. His tongue sweeps inside, exploring, tasting, taking. The way he kisses is nothing short of possessive, pure hunger as he worships my mouth. He can have it, and any other part of me he wants. I’ve never needed anything or anyone more than I need him. 

“Tell me what you want Elain,” he pants into my mouth. 

“Touch me,” I beg, shaking with desperation. “Please Azriel I… I…”

He slides his hand down my neck and squeezes lightly, “here?” He teases.

Oh gods . I shudder under his touch. His eyes flit back up to mine and it’s obvious he didn’t expect me to like that . He curses again.

He smiles, his free hand moving down to my belly button, “here?” he asks innocently as he swirls his finger along the edge. Goosebumps spread like wildfire down across my needy skin. 

“Please.” I whimper again so so desperately.

His finger skates down in a feather-like tease to my center,  “Here?”

I moan at the slightest friction. “So. Fucking. Wet.”

He releases my neck, tracing my form with his hand as he glides it down my body. He kneels between my legs, grabbing my thighs as he lifts my legs. Taking my ankles into his large hands and props both of my feet on the bed, spreading me wide. 

“Gods Elain, you are just so beautiful,” he says eyes roaming over every inch of me before the land on my bare sex. “Are you going to let me fuck this pussy one day?”

I feel my core clench at his words and a fresh wave of arousal drips down my folds. A low guttural sound catches in his throat at the sight. 

“Even this pussy is begging so sweetly.”

I can’t help it, my legs start to shake, “Yes,” I gasp as I clench around nothing.

His right hand releases my ankle as he runs his finger tips up the sensitive skin of my leg. I quiver with anticipation, nearly crawling out of my skin. 

“Look at you, so needy for me.” Gods, his confidence would be infuriating if it weren’t so damn sexy. If he wasn’t right. 

His hand finally moves to my inner thigh and presses it down firmly. His thumb grazes close to the edge of my arousal. He takes his time before he finally slides his finger along my clit. My back arching off the bed as I moan loudly. 

He does it again, with more pressure and my knees come together as I shudder. He slaps my clit and I cry out from the sudden pleasure of it. “None of that,” he chides, “I want to see you.” I force my shaking legs apart as he strokes me over and over where I need him most. My legs threaten to close again and he forces my right thigh down. 

I’m desperate for more, I want him on top of me, inside me. I need him everywhere and the teasing is driving me insane. “Please,” I beg, not caring how desperate I sound.

His hooded eyes find mine and he shakes his head no. “I’m not done yet.”  

He leans forward and takes my pebbled nipple into his mouth and sucks hard. I cry out, my head pressing back into the mattress as I shove my needy pussy into his hand. He slaps it again and I begin to shake all over. 

“So. Responsive,” he coos as he takes my nipple between his teeth. “Is this why you’re always blushing, sweet girl? You’re always this worked up for me?”

“Yes,” I cry as he skillfully tortures out each little moan from me as he works my breasts and clit at the same time. 

He hums appreciatively, “Not so innocent then? Just a little slut underneath, hmm?”

I gasp at his crudeness at his… at his… oh gods I’m ready to cum. His words send me over the edge. 

But he abruptly pulls back his hand and I groan in frustration. I sit up on my elbows to get a better look at him. Our eyes lock as he brings his hand back between my legs. He notches a finger at my entrance.

“Show me Elain, show me just how bad you are.” I feel the slightest pressure of his finger entering me and I lose it. I grind myself fully down on his finger as if possessed. I rock my hips up and down riding him as I take what I need. 

“God that’s sexy,” he praises me. I feel my pleasure build but it’s not enough. “More,” I demand and he adds another finger. His thick fingers fill me deliciously, adding just the right amount of pressure, like he was made for me. 

My breasts bounce from the force of my movement. His eyes locked on them as he leans forward, licking and sucking at me with desperation. A pang of pleasure shutters through me and I realize I’m so close again. 

My moans coming out as chants as he continues to lavish me with praise. He tells me how wicked I am. How much he loves watching me fuck myself on his hand. That he can’t believe he gets to suck on these perfect tits. I’m so close I cry out his name as he presses his thumb into my clit and I shatter. 

He watches enraptured before he kisses me and I wrap my arms around him and draw him closer. We kiss until the aftershocks of my orgasam pass. Until my lips are swollen from his  gentle nips and teasing licks.

He tenderly pulls the wayward tendrils of hair from my face and buries his face into my neck and inhales deeply. 

Azriel

I’m buried in Elain’s neck and everything is so Godsdamned perfect. Her scent is so intoxicating that I feel half drugged. The sound of her screaming for me is still ringing in my ears like church bells. Her delicate fingers tease the ends of my hair making me tingle all over. For the first time in my life my head is completely quiet.

“Azriel?” I hear her angelic voice calling to me.

I muffled “Hmm?” comes out as I press my face further into her neck. Her soft hair tickles my nose but I don’t care. 

“Don’t you…” I hear her sigh, I force myself away from my favorite part of her.

“Don’t I?” I ask, confused. Her rosy cheeks tell me she is feeling shy again. A filthy thought more like. I know her too well to think she’s just being coy now. 

She points to my cock which is harder than steel and pressing against her like a helpless kitten. Just the thought of her wanting to touch it makes it twitch against my stomach. 

“You want to touch it, baby? Want to make me feel good?” I ask. She gives a nod as she rubs those shapely thighs together. Fuck me .

I lean forward and bury my face between the perkiest tits I’ve ever seen. I kiss my way to each one showing them each a little love. Leaving little marks so neither one feels left out. They are my friends now, it’s the least I could do. 

I feel her leg slide against my cock and groan. There is nothing, and I mean nothing I want more, than to bury myself in her right now but I won’t. 

I need to figure out this situation between us because after tonight there is no way I am giving her up. Fuck Rhys. Fuck the Attors. Fuck the FBI and Hybern and whoever the hell else stands in my way. I need to solve the problem first then get the reward. I need the incentive. Save something for later the rational part of my brain argues.

I also know, based on my recent experience with my hand, that I’ll blow my load in an embarrassingly short amount of time. I nearly did at least four times tonight and I’ve pictured Cass so many times in these kinds of scenarios that it’s starting to have the opposite effect. I shake my head. What the hell am I thinking? 

I grudgingly pull myself away from her chest and hate myself a little more. 

“As much as I would love that, I think we need to talk about what happened earlier.”

She sits up, making no effort to cover myself to my horror and delight.

“Earlier?” She asks with those big gorgeous doe eyes drinking me in like the last thing she wants to do is talk. 

“Yes sweetheart, with Rhys.” Her nose scrunches up and I see the desire slip from her eyes. 

She stands and walks out of the room, her heart shaped ass swaying. I say a silent prayer for strength as I follow after her. 

I watch as she prepares a tea kettle and motions for me to sit at the table. So, she is going to serve me naked. Fucking perfect. 

“What happened with Rhys?” she asks as she takes tea cups and saucers off her open shelving. She has to stand on her tip toes and bend over the counter to get them, a nightmare really. 

“He knows about us.” I say, I'm too distracted to temper my words. 

She turns to me startled, “He does?”

“Yes, though I didn’t confirm it outright. He told me to stay away from you.”

Her eyes flicker with rage for half a second before the emotion is gone. Replaced instead with annoyance. “He is worse than Feyre.”

I snort, “You have that right.”

“So, what now?” 

“Do you want to end this?” I ask gesturing between us. 

She purses her lips, “Of course not, do you?”

I chuckle, “After that?” I say tilting my head back to her bedroom, “I’m just getting started with you.” 

Her back is turned but I see her hand brace the countertop. She slowly looks at me over her shoulder and I know she isn’t done with me either. 

“So, what was his objection?” 

“My job mostly, but I think he doesn’t think I’m good enough for you.” I say truthfully. 

She turns to me fully and walks over and sits on my lap, “You are good Azriel, anyone would be lucky to have you. I’m just glad it gets to be me.”

My cold heart melts with her sweet words. “No one deserves you Elain, no one.”

She tries to object but I silence her with a kiss. I keep my hands on her face because if they touch her anywhere else I won't be able to stop. 

I pull away and rest my forehead against hers. “He is right about my job. It’s dangerous and as much as I wish it weren’t the case, you being connected with me puts you in danger. I can’t have that. Do you understand?”

She nods. “Good, we will just need to be more careful moving forward. Avoid any tempting situations.” I look down at where her still wet pussy is pressed against my cock. The wily little minx is smiling at me when I look back up. 

“No, we wouldn’t want that, would we?” She teases as she gets up. Mother save me .

I clear my throat, “You’re not going to ask about my job?” I ask, curious that she hasn’t brought it up. 

“No, you’ve told me you can’t talk about it and I trust you.” She says as if it’s that simple. Gods how I wish it were. 

“I need to figure some things out but I hope that in time I can share more with you. Believe me when I say I wish I could.”

Elain saunters over with the serving tray with our tea and two slices of lemon pie. She serves me still completely bare and I wonder for the hundredth time tonight how on earth I got so lucky. 

“I believe you,” she says softly. “I trust you and we agreed this was our secret from the beginning. Besides, I wouldn’t worry too much about Rhys.”

I smirk at my clever, wonderful Elain, “Why is that?”

“In a few short months he is going to have his hands full.”

[blue-eyed-beastie]

Oh my goodness! This is it!! Thank you for this!

I was able to find the original novel through Project Gutenberg. It's free to read on any web browser! Helpful hint: If you use Firefox, it gives you the option to translate it automatically (but with varied and sometimes hilarious results).

Anyway, as far as I can tell, the story is told through a series of letters. The excerpt from Belle's book is from a letter written by one Annette Bourdon to her friend Adelaide Fairlie, dated 19 September at Les Frênes (in case you want to look up the exact chapter, since they aren't numbered).

I won't include the entire translation, because it is quite long, but it's worth the read. By the way, I'm not at all disappointed that my earlier guesses about the context were wrong. I'm just thrilled that someone else knew what the excerpt was from so that I could read it in its entirety!

For those who don't have the time to read it right now, the summary of it is that Annette is discussing her engagement to Paul, and what has happened since, and how she feels about it. She also wonders what comes after marriage (and yes, she means the bedroom!):

There must be novels that talk about these situations, novels that I'm forbidden to read. As soon as I'm married, I'll read everything that's been forbidden to me; so I will be informed and I will know what I must do, in case of necessity. I am determined to be very good to my husband, but I would not want to cause anyone unnecessary pain. If someone courts me, I will be happy. I like to be looked at, and to be talked to. All alone, I get bored and sometimes I have done extravagances to attract attention. I told you about the one in the river, but it was my sister who had the idea. No matter, I see that the idea was not bad, because it is since that moment that Paul began to look at me with completely new eyes. As for me, if I saw a naked man swimming on the surface of the water, it would frighten me and I would start running. Men are braver; they are not even afraid at all. They both seemed ecstatic, and I almost laughed, which would have made me drink water and drown. What a pity, but what an opportunity for Paul to fish me out and hold me in his arms, like a languid siren!

Ah, the languid siren that was mentioned at the beginning of the excerpt! One translation suggested "mermaid", which I actually prefer in this context, since sirens tend to want to drown their victims. Mermaids, not so much! (See: The Little Mermaid, as a case in point.)

Now, I won't quote the entire excerpt again, but I did want to know what the very last fragmented sentence turned out to be, so I will include it below in its full context, plus a little more:

Paul is more handsome than I have ever seen him before. He is pale with large eyes full of fever and love. I find him sublime when he kneels down beside me to look at me as if in prayer. I want to pray to him too, sometimes, and to lay my cheek on his knees, but when I have that desire, I get angry with myself and I sulk at Paul. It is very difficult to keep a man within the bounds of respect. He addressed me informally once; I did not like that. No one has ever addressed me as "tu" [you] except women. In the mouth of a man, this familiarity seemed unbearable to me. Nothing vulgar pleases me. A woman must be a queen to be completely a woman. This is the attitude I want to take from now on; even when I play hide-and-seek, people feel that I am a princess and they do not pull me carelessly by my crumpled dress. I turned eighteen the day before yesterday. At that age, one has a scepter or a fairy wand. When I laugh, there are eyes that are worried; and when I smile, people look at me to share in my smile.

The last of Annette's letter sees her looking forward to marriage, but wishing this feeling would last. She ends with this last romantic thought:

I feel that I am embarking on a long pleasure voyage. Everything laughs. Autumn itself is spring-like this year. There are languors of the month of May and freshness of new grass. One would say that it rains love every night…

While there are no sword fights or magic spells in this one, there seems to be plenty of romance, and that's all right with me. ❤️

A Closer Look at Belle's Book: Part II

In Part I, I went into some detail about the illustration inside Belle's book, but now I want to turn the page, so to speak.

Thanks to the magic of 4K, I was able to zoom in on some details in Beauty and the Beast that I had never noticed before, and this time I wanted to see what story Belle was reading. I've seen theories that it was either foreshadowing Aladdin or referencing Sleeping Beauty, and I myself noticed that it bears some artistic resemblance to Snow White... but it turns out that it has nothing to do with Disney, or its fairy tales.

It's something else entirely, and it's in French!

After zooming in and studying each frame, I managed to make out the following text:

une languissante sirene! Enfin, il sera bientôt heureux, si c'est là ce qui doit causer son bonheur. Je sais que je suis agréable à regarder, puisque j'y ai du plaisir moi-même, et de ce plaisir je ne priverai pas mon mari, au contraire. Je ne sais si je l'aimerai, je l'espère; mais je veux qu'il m'aime lui, et je ferai pour lui plaire tout ce qui lui plaira. Ah! chère Adélaïde, je suis pleine de rêves absurdes et de pensées contradictoires! Je songe à des choses qui me semblent à la fois douces et vilaines, et j'ai des imaginations qui me font rougir en même temps que pleurer! Au moins, je ne m'ennuie pas. Je vis plus en une heure de ces journées que l'an passé je ne vécus en toute l'année. Chaque heure me renouvelle, me grandit et m'épanouit. Je me semble un rosier qui fleur rirait à vue d’œil, je suis fraîche et parfumée; je suis légère et forte: j'attends le bonheur. Paul est plus beau que je ne l'avais encore jamais tu. Il est pâle avec de grands yeux pleins de fièvre et d'amour. Je le trouve sublime quand il s'agenouille près de moi pour me regarder comme en prière. J'ai envie de le prière aussi, parfois, et de coucher ma joue sur ses genoux, mais quand j'ai cette envie-la, je me fâché contre moi-meme et je boude Paul.

Which, roughly translated into English, means:

a languid siren! Finally, he will soon be happy, if that is what will make him happy. I know that I am pleasant to look at, since I take pleasure in it myself, and of this pleasure I will not deprive my husband, on the contrary. I do not know if I will love him, I hope so; but I want him to love me, and I will do whatever he pleases to please him. Ah! dear Adelaide, I am full of absurd dreams and contradictory thoughts! I think of things that seem to me both sweet and ugly, and I have fantasies that make me blush and cry at the same time! At least, I am not bored. I live more in one hour of these days than I lived in the whole year last year. Each hour renews me, makes me grow and blossom. I seem to myself a rosebush that blooms laughing before my eyes, I am fresh and fragrant; I am light and strong: I await happiness. Paul is more handsome than I have ever seen him before. He is pale with big eyes full of fever and love. I find him sublime when he kneels down next to me to look at me as if in prayer. I want to pray to him too, sometimes, and to lay my cheek on his knees, but when I have this desire, I get angry with myself and I sulk at Paul.

By the way, there is one more sentence (maybe even two) at the bottom of the page that is partially obscured by Belle's shoulder and right hand. It may or may not be important to the rest of the excerpt, but for completion's sake, I'll share it here:

Il est ... maintenir un homme dans les ...

Which translates to:

He is ... to keep a man in the ...

Intriguing, isn't it? What was she trying to say?

Overall, the author appears to be an unwed woman dreaming of her future marriage to a man named Paul. Her confidante is someone named Adelaide, but I suspect she is actually writing to herself. Regardless, she is either betrothed to Paul or she longs to be, since she calls him her husband. Perhaps it is an arranged marriage? She goes on to dwell upon his handsomeness, and how she longs to be close to him, but then she gets angry at herself for feeling this way. The last line of the passage is incomplete, but my best guess is that the author is saying that Paul is not to blame for her sulking, so it is not right to keep a man in the dark, i.e. ignorant. I could be wrong, though. In any case, she is conflicted about her feelings on the matter. You could even say that her feelings are "new, and a bit alarming".

I can see why the filmmakers chose this passage for Belle's book.

It may not be a fairy tale, but it certainly has elements from the film. There are references to beauty, roses, imagination, and eyes filled with love, and passion.

Belle:

"Oh, isn't this amazing? It's my favorite part because—you’ll see Here's where she meets Prince Charming But she won't discover that it's him 'til Chapter Three!"

Do the lyrics match the story hinted at on the page itself? No, but I really respect the filmmakers for going out of their way to include this kind of detail in the film. They could have taken the easy way out, by writing out something like "Once upon a time" to echo the opening narration, or used "Lorem ipsem" Latin filler, or even meaningless brush strokes just to fill the page... but they didn't. They chose something in French that Belle herself might have liked to read. And I think that's really cool.

[22ayla19]

Jiaoqiu x Reader

From the author: I don't want to believe what happened in the 2.5 plot... it's very painful even for me... At least I'm glad that he's alive. (I was preparing this post for update 2.5, but due to my condition I had to postpone it for a whole month. I apologize.)

Summary: Feixiao kept her promise and found a healer for Jiaoqiu who could restore his sight.

Warning: grammar errors (English is not my native language), female reader, possible plot holes, as I wrote it emotionally after completing the plot of update 2.5

For many years, General Yaoqin tried to find a healer who could restore the sight of her close subordinate. Many healers waved their hands, saying that it was impossible, it was better to accept the fact that Jiaoqiu would no longer be able to see.

- Get out of my office! - Feixiao didn't even want to hear that Jiaoqiu would remain like this after everything he had done for her. She was desperate, because she wanted to help him.

- I can't heal Mr. Jiaoqiu, General. However, I know someone who can, - answered another healer, whom Feixiao turned to.

- And who is it? - asked the general.

- I can't say if this is true, but recently there has been a rumor about a healer who can cure all ailments in the world. Although all this is just rumors, there are those who confirm this fact, - the man answered with the hope that at least in this way he would be useful to General Yaoqin.

- Do you know the name of this woman?

- (Y/N), madam.

------------------------

The search for that very healer took months, but all was unsuccessful. People who met her said that she existed, that she could heal even the most complex diseases, but no one knew the location of the healer herself. She never stayed in one place. Until one day, a girl came to the general himself, introducing herself as that very healer.

- Can I believe your words? - Feixiao asked coldly.

- If you do not believe my words, then I will prove with my actions what I am capable of, - the girl answered confidently.

Feixiao did not want to believe her just like that, because many had already refused, saying that they were not able to do it, but for some reason the girl radiated an aura of confidence, as if assuring that she was still worth trusting.

- What do you want as a reward for healing my ward? - the general understood that the girl would not agree to heal for nothing. Accordingly, whatever the girl wanted, Feixiao would give it to her.

- Protection, - Feixiao was perplexed by such an answer, - during healing I become extremely vulnerable, besides, after healing I will need months to recover. I need protection, since there are people who hunt me, because of my abilities. That is why you could not find me for a long time, since I was recovering and hiding.

- You will have protection. I swear by the name of General Yaoqin.

------------------------

Quite a long time had passed since Jiaoqiu went blind, and he gradually began to get used to the fact that he was now sightless. This was not critical, because he only needed time to adapt to his "defect". Until Feixiao came and said that there was hope for you that he would get his sight back.

- Is something like this really possible? - the fox asked, not believing the words of his general.

- According to others, she literally saves those who suffer from Mara, so it would not be that difficult for her to restore your sight, - Feixiao was more than happy that there was a chance to restore your sight, but she saw the frown on her subordinate's face, - Aren't you happy?

- To tell the truth, I'm confused. After I went blind, I tried to adapt to my "defect" and when I had already resigned myself, a girl appeared who assured me that she would heal me. Sounds impossible...

- I thought so too when I first saw her, but she gave off a very strong aura of confidence. You'll understand when you meet her. Tomorrow she'll come and examine you. Rest, - Feixiao left, leaving Jiaoqiu alone with his thoughts. Deep down, he wanted to accept this girl's help, but something prevented him from accepting the fact that someone else would heal him, not himself.

------------------------

A girl entered the room, Jiaoqiu understood this from her light steps, which differed from the secretive steps of Moze and the loud but confident steps of Feixiao.

- Hello, are you probably Jiaoqiu? My name is (Y/N) and I am a healer like you, - the girl's words were short but confident.

- It's somehow awkward that a healer is being treated by another healer... - the fox answered awkwardly.

- There is nothing awkward here. Even doctors sometimes need help from other doctors. Now I will examine you.

Using her power, the girl quickly learned the fox's condition. Jiaoqiu felt that a tremor and vibration from the girl's power went through his body. He could already tell that her powers were connected to more powerful beings than ordinary mortals.

The girl finished examining the fox and began to look at the tests and treatment of other doctors.

- Well, the healers from Xianzhou are quite skilled, they did a good job, so I will have a little less work, - the girl said looking through the papers, - well, let's not drag things out. Let's move on to treatment. The treatment will take some time, so I advise you to lie down and even sleep.

Jiaoqiu was at a loss, but what else could he do? If he was stubborn, Moze and Feixiao would force him to undergo treatment, so following the girl's advice, he lay down on the couch and closed his eyes. It was unlikely that he would be able to fall asleep for now, but perhaps he would be able to later.

The girl approached the fox, folded her hands one on top of the other and activated her abilities. Jiaoqiu could feel the aura of this power. It was so calming that the mental suffering that had tormented him for a long time calmed down and he was able to feel peace of mind for a long time.

The fox soon fell asleep, and the girl healed him all day and all night. Moze guarded them outside the door so that no one would disturb them. Feixiao, despite her duties, was also nearby and waited for news.

The next morning, the girl left the room, surprising the general and her assistant. She looked exhausted and tired. Her hair was disheveled, her face was pale and there were circles under her eyes. The girl needed rest, but before leaving towards the guest room, she said:

- Don't worry, now your friend's eyesight is even better than before.

These words pleased the general so much that she immediately flew into the room and greeted Jiaoqiu, happy that he could see again. Moze, unlike his general, bowed low in gratitude and decided to take the healer to the guest room so that she could rest, but the man did not expect that the girl would faint from exhaustion. Fortunately, he reacted quickly and caught her.

- Lady (Y/N), what's wrong with you? Lady! - the man shouted, although not loudly.

At the man's shout, Jiaoqiu and Feixiao came out of the room, and seeing the girl unconscious, they immediately became worried.

To be continued...