#just two bc it got a little long
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talking about my tavs (and durge) because i can...2!
also game spoilers abound

riose. he/him, half-drow, necromancer warlock, acolyte backstory. one level in cleric of eilistraee for roleplaying
riose is a follower of eilistraee and a bleeding heart pacifist, which ties into his necromancy - he sees utilizing the dead, whose souls have since moved on, as a way to preserve the lives of the living by allowing them to replace living fighters in events where combat can't be avoided. he believes strongly in protecting life, no matter how questionable the person is, unless killing is absolutely necessary. which is how he immediately got killed by a mindflayer. and then again by a vampire a few nights later. honestly he's more of an accidental menace to the party than my actual selfish chaotic characters. oops!
his charisma is dogshit, so despite trying so desperately for pacifism he's accidentally caused way more conflict than most of my other tavs. he's really struggling out here. also only being half-drow means he doesn't get the inherent differential treatment characters like xun'e get, which bypasses goblin aggression, but people still give him shit for being half drow
his life fucking sucks
anyway i'm still working on his background - i want to give him a human parent and a drow parent in a way that's potentially actually interesting and not just some stupid or shitty bullshit, and thinking about how he eventually came to the church of eilistraee. i'm having trouble settling on anything, though, especially incorporating the necromancy thing - where does a good character generally even learn necromancy? i don't imagine there are necromantic books just sitting around, so i think a reformed villain parent would be fun...(make it the human parent contrasting to the actually pretty normal drow parent? could be funny)
but anyway everyone except for wyll and karlach hates him. he's off-putting and is trying really hard not to be That Guy but is having a difficult time not bringing up his religion constantly and wanting to pray for people. though it's almost circled around to being sort of endearing and at least he's useful as a ridiculously tall meat shield. with low strength bc he's a wizard
he's romancing wyll. also the church of eilistraee apparently do interpretative dance to their goddess every night so that's gonna be a cute little tie-in. like yes wyll he would LOVE to dance but maybe he's not used to your kind of dancing (he's got some dancing naked in the moonlight hippie shit bc that's how eilistraee is apparently)

on the other end of the spectrum is joy. they/them. some sort of tiefling idr, battle master fighter, haunted one background
so like as a durge they don't have much backstory aside from, y'know, the canon. i have another durge who resists the urge (but he's also pretty boring and has no personality <3 idk i'm not super inspired by durge since the amnesia and canon backstory feels rather restricting. i'll figure it out) but was like ok well i'll make one who indulges the urge and play for as long as i can stand it before being mean in a video game becomes too much for me
the out of universe reason for joy only resisting the urge is that even when doing my best to be mean i don't want to kill any of my companions. the in-universe reason is that they initially just really wanted to see someone turn into a mindflayer bc they thought it sounded cool as hell
though obviously they don't have much of a history of being friends or allies to people, they become rather enamored with having a posse and become very indulgent toward their allies. well, the allies who remained after they slaughtered the grove that is
while they do indulge the urge most times the dialogue options allow me to, they're not necessarily that evil outside of that - if the urge isn't particularly calling for blood they're weirdly capable of being relatively chill, though still an asshole. (they gave the prisoner in the goblin camp and healing potion and let him go. after torturing him a lot first for no reason, of course, but still)
hilariously shadowheart initially HATED them and told them they were only good as a meatshield. eventually she warmed up to them. somehow. lae'zel thinks they're too indulgent and chaotic but minthara thinks they're alright at least
though joy did become besties with astarion, joy was drawn towards gale, who talked a lot of shit when joy killed alfira but then sure was weirdly ok with it when joy thought about kissing him during their moment in the weave (honestly the kissing thought was mostly to avoid projecting the immediately obvious thoughts about dismemberment, and joy is trying not to threaten their friends! honest!)
and he didn't react to torturing that guy. and really didn't seem to mind joy biting another guy's toe straight off. and joy sees that dark streak of ambition and is delighted. and even after the slaughter at the grove, gale stays, and in the shadow-cursed lands he's even made comments about how attractive they look after a battle....they didn't even have to try to manipulate him or anything he's out here happily going down a corruption arc all by himself.
tbh i chickened out and initially decided that they'd resent sceleritas telling them what to do and have them not kill isobel but. well. i think i'm gonna go through and commit and get that slayer form. esp since jaheira kept fucking dying at moonrise no matter how hard i tried to keep her alive. we'll see if i have the willpower to have astarion and shart go down their bad character routes.
(i hate ascension but the dynamic of "exes but still friends" in the supervillain context is really funny. esp considering how dogshit astarion definitely would be at being a vampire lord. sorry no i'm not helping you take over baldur's gate we're not even an item anymore i'm too busy helping my boyfriend defy the gods or w/e he's doing <3 taking over baldur's gate is small potatoes. i'll still come over and we can disembowel ppl together if you want. make an afternoon out of it.)
in the end they'll probably reject bhaal? probably? again i feel like i maybe should just commit to going fully evil route but i kinda like the idea that they do save the city and everyone has to put up with this wretched piece of shit who no one likes being the hero and trying to install their flop boyfriend as the new god of magic or whatever.
joy sucks but i kinda love them it's just hilarious how terrible they are.
#just two bc it got a little long#bg3 ocs#luke plays bg3#oc sharing#oc: riose#oc: joy#broke: evil run romancing astarion. woke: evil run romancing gale
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I am so very late to the "Sidestep wearing their partner's merch/underwear" trend started by the lovely @kidhellion
Behold: some hypothetical domestic future where Corey can be soft and steal ALL their girlfriend's clothes
Individual frames without text under the cut


#this was so much fun to make#ive been iffy about how i want my art to look style wise lately#so going back to the more realistic and HEAVILY referenced look is a neat little experiment#this was half meme/ half study lmao#ive only drawn their tattoos one other time so the design is not the most solid but i think ive got the vibes down#originally planned two more frames of this but those are staying in the WIP folder for a long time lol#one was a flashback scene of them as sidestep getting roped into participating in the “sexy hero calendar” with the rangers#obv they refuse to undress bc its sidestep. they pose with lingerie OVER their armored suit lmao#Corey “this better not awaken anything in me” Rook thinks theyre hilarious#second one is just a continuation showing julia...apologizing... for walking in on them#they arent actually mad just embarrassed. once julia reassures them about it theyll be back to showing off#corey rook#my art#fallen hero#sidestep
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there is a very specific image in my head of early-mid 20’s iwaizumi hajime
#iwaizumi x reader#and he’s the guy taking on an internship in his senior year with minimum load for his classes#bc he’s planned it all out since starting college#you see him in parties because he has the time & he works so hard it’s only right he plays hard too#every time you lock eyes he gives you a small smile#there’s an air about him that isn’t cocky but isn’t too shy; a comfort that settles into his skin like he’s sure of who he is#—of what he wants & it definitely isn’t hauling up his drunk friends and a few acquaintances up his car#but some of them are your friends and you’re helping him so maybe it isn’t so bad#he drops you off with your roommate and you rarely see him after#until you spot him at some bar (again) and he’s wearing a tight fitting polo (it’s his uniform you later notice)#it’s a year or two after your graduation and when you lock eyes across the room there’s something so familiar yet wholly different#he’s confident now & maybe a little flirty too when he tells you he’s working as an assistant to shadow one of his mentors#you catch up for the rest of the night and your friends have long since gone ahead#he still knows what he wants and it’s to bring you home—not that way (not yet); you’re a little suspicious because#you know there’s /something/ but he drives you home like a gentleman. without really trying anything (and maybe part of you wishes he did)#it’s iwaizumi though and he knows what he wants—to ask you out properly (one he’s been thinking about since chance encounters in uni)#and he’s hoping that when he asks you can tell just how much he likes you#hajime#i want him so bad im crying#there is a whole workd of backstory to this but i got lazy typing it#shotorus.bubble
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i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo
#ganondoodles talks#also probably sounds like self pity#but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist#i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think#but the internet never gets to see that much of me#i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere#so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing#i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out#i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with#i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong#im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh#it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again#sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with-#-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it#doesnt sound like a good excuse#... i want to thank those that do stick with me#even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise#there are little things that still make me angry at myself#like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing#and i got two#and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop#i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late#i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom#no matter how much i enjoy the ask#and i love getting asks!!!#im sorry :((
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i fear everyone needs to know i'm a big nerd- bc oh my god- the new doctor who episodes are sosoosos good- the way we met a new god- and they brought the mimic back is just!!! I'M SO EXCITED- i need to catch up on the past couple of eras- but- seeing the newest episodes has me !!!!!
#i fear this is the one interest of mine that i have no one to talk to about it- so i must post it here- i'll ramble more below#(ik one of my irl friend's parent(s) is (are)- but- um that's a little awkward)#so i thought i'd talk about this here- just get it out of my system bc i've just been !!!! literally i'm so happy and excited for what has#come about- like wdym we got true rubber hose animation!? and the mimic ?!? i'm so ebhebhbhabh#(i fear i also don't talk about my several other interests to anyone- but like rn- dw is a pressing issue bc i'm like this: bhebhebhebha#over it)- like lux?!?!#literally what a crazy little guy- i love him sm- was he ugly when he became 3d- yes but that's part of what makes him cute!!#i'm adoring this newest season and i can't wait to see what is gonna come out of it!!#doctor who rambles#(if you ever are curious about my several other interests i'm willing to reveal them- but i just keep them quiet bc i feel like i don't kno#enough about any of my other interests- even if i've liked them for a long time- the only thing interests i've been confident is/has always#been (prolly always will be) music- so that's why most will prolly never know i'm obsessed with sth outside of that)#anyways back to doc who- i had always heard about it on tumblr- but it was two yrs ago where i started ?? “oh this is really good”#and fell off the deep end- and now happily enjoy it whenever i get a chance- like now!!#god i love this silly sad show#kate rambles
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ok i think im done i think ive finally done it. i have completed the awakening ship chart with the second gen. except for nah sorry nah. yes i do love rarepair hell thanks for asking im never leaving
#ann plays awakening#i know that lucisev is not a rarepair but thats the ONLY second gen ship i got here that isnt#so shut it#u might be able to make that argument for gerolau as well but i think anything with laurent is rare bc no one talks about him#and i think gerome has a much more popular ship. that we all know and i will not tag#not that i dislike that one but i just like them with other ppl more#speaking of shout out inigo and cynthia for being the only heterosexuals here (WRONG bi4bi)(both on the aro spectrum)#they will be the only ones here to get a written ending and it doesnt even matter bc inigo fucks off to nohr and makes it untrue#oh well. au where that doesnt happen#i spent a lot of time deliberating on brady and a long time ago i rly liked brady/fmorgan but if im using frobin thats not an option#tho shes here in spirit#idk why it never occured to me to try out the male version of her. bradymorg if it was yaoi#tho im actually a little on the fence about this one. but then my top two choices for brady are just morgan and morgan#so it doesnt throw anyone else off i just need to pick which robin#absolutely nothing has changed in the first gen since the last time i posted this im still rocking with all of them#dont think any of them will change#i allllllmost paired noire with yarne#and that could change but idk. i think owainyarne is just too funny i think about them a lot#though if i could make them poly i would cuz owain/noire is also very cute#kjelle is a lesbian and would not fit into that tho. sorry. this is my gf noire and her stupid boyfriends i dont like#anyways i’ll probably shake some of these up when i go back to the awakening trio retainer au but for my main file yeeah i like these :3#sorry i just like to yap about my kids pay me no mind please
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My four main characters' dynamics if you were ever wondering 🥰

Little character bios + without text below the cut :)

Preface: There's 9 different planets in my AU, and each of them has different kinds of humanoids(ex. Neptune has bird-people, Mercury has dragon-people, Pluto has cat-people, Neptune has mammal-people, etc.) Most of my ocs are from Neptune or Pluto, cause I like them best haha. Each planet has their own forms of hierarchies/discrimination, so that's important to consider with character dynamics. So for example on Neptune, people who are pure-breds(so basically wild animals in their "original" form. Wolves, tigers, deer, etc, too many to name) are considered more noble. Whereas there are ubiquitous "dogs," traditionally the servants of Neptune's god, who are seen as typically being servile and lesser. But then if you were to travel to a different planet, you would be SO lost about these kinds of dynamics. I talked a lot more about my two main ships in these posts, Eclipoir here and Rünoir here !!
My main four OCs seen here are the DHE and Eclipse. The DHE are a friend group/unit, who met through being scouted for the god of Neptune's espionage/black ops unit. They are comprised of:
Anastassia "Rüß" Petrov - (the main leader of the operation, very tough but intelligent. She was scouted from Siberia and grew up very poor. She is a womanizer, loves money, and she was originally very standoffish but is now extremely charasmatic, and seems to know everybody. However she is a dog, but the complete opposite of what a dog is expected to be. Which is why she was scouted to be the leader in the first place!! She was originally more undercover, but now kinda functions as the handler to Noir's attack dog. She preferred to work alone before, but came to appreciate the team dynamic.)
Noir Mono-Loup -(Nepo baby!!! She is a wolf, and is from a very rich, influential family, so she's a pedigree pedigree. She is genuinely very strong and can be analytical, but struggles to manage herself and her bloodthirsty and possessive compulsions, AND she is very prone to craving submission. So even tho societally, she's seen as higher/more noble than Rüß, Noir is perfectly happy to be her subordinate and follow orders. However, while Rüß brings out the submissive side in her, Eclipse on the other hand brings out the possessive, territorial side.)
Seren Baumstark - (The brains of the group I guess, though they're all pretty smart, in different ways. She's not from Neptune, she's from Pluto! So she doesn't really factor in to the whole weird purebred-dog dynamic the other two have going on, which is for the better because she's very peaceful and there's no expectations. Very meek compared to the other two, but chosen because of her intelligence and cooperation skills. Has her own shit going on aside from the main plot, that's more involved with the gods. The main plot with the other three mainly is fucked in its own way, but Seren is lowkey going through that Spongebob hallway meme honestly, but its kinda impossible to quickly explain.)
"Eclipse" - (from a very famous/influential family from Pluto/Neptune. However she has been disowned, as she was seen as ruining the family image with her instability....and because her mother is a terrible person who couldn't accept that her child wouldn't be the heir of the family. She has a very codependent relationship with Noir, however they were separated for many years because Noir is technically the reason she was ultimately disowned, though she's pretty grateful for that. She's an assassin, who Noir is trying to track down, not knowing its Eclipse.)
I have like three seperate time periods I jump between, so it's a bit confusing I think. The first would be when it was just Noir and Rüß, since Seren came in later. Noir was very annoying and puppylike, and Rüß at that point was super cold. Rünoir(Rüß x Noir) are FwB with a very dom/sub relationship/dynamic. The second would be when Seren is now with them, and when Noir first meets Eclipse(she saved her from being kidnapped, and that's where their codependency began.) And the third would be when Eclipoir(Eclipse x Noir) are finally fully reunited, and not at odds anymore, and the DHE are now in different roles, but still best friends.
#id leave a self deprecating comment here but i need to STOP#i love my silles :) wanted to draw little guys of them#mainly tho bcs the thought of 'master -> attack dog -> chewtoy' popped into my head#its obv more complicated but i like the top-down view of it#i sometimes feel bad abt how little attention i give seren but man she really is up to her own way more important shit LOL#gahhhhhh anyways very proud of these hehehe!!! i havent drawn chibis of them in so long#gives me hope ill actually yknow. use some ideas from the terrible comic ideas doc i have#i want to squeeze eclipse like a stress toy SHES SO CUTEEEEEEEE#i love how eclipse and noir's outfits have stayed consistent for like 5 years or smth atp#but w the other two im always like UHHHHHHHHH#rüß was consistent for soooo long but i got bored w it LOL#and seren im just constantly unsure abt and i dont think ive ever drawn hers w consistency#i have drawn noir and eclipse in different clothes but man their main outfits. i love them so so much.#yes i have done self cosplay of them stop asking me sdkhdds#anyways here are my little sillies lmk what you think :)#now to go work on my eclipoir angst fic and my terrible rünoir pwp-#every time i post my ocs im just mentally thinking abt an iceberg meme of all my au stuff#catie.rambling.txt#catie.art.#noir#eclipse#seren#rüß
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. putting polaris in the same room as wolfe. just to see what they become
OUGH. oouuhhh hhmmm.. thats certainly something t chew on... from my best understanding atm of polaris, they change their appearance+demeanor to most appeal to one's desires-- in an effort to keep them close, i believe..? atleast, this is what my digging about provides me with..
ok so. this very much does shift with time so theres a couple fronts to tackle with This Thang. cause like.
for a majority of wolfes earlier life, her actual singular desire is. To Be Left The Fuck Alone. like yeah, she's incredibly outwardly abrasive and has spent a Lot of her life having Just An Absolutely Terrible Time, but none of that really manifests itself as any genuine want to Retaliate in any way. of her own volition, at least-- she has to be under a Lot of strain to actually genuinely lash out at someone. which is to say, If It Sucks, she WILL Hit Da Bricks. she wants to minimize energy cost as much as possible.
she didnt have a lot of drive. a simple 'get in and get out' is quite literally the most she can ask of . literally anything. so to be placed next to someone who Wants to get her to stay, to forge a connection; its. gonna suck. even if she Did have any prior connections to pull on (which she might, but im not sure. were not really sure.) theres a high chance it actually repels her. she hates reminders like that-- she wants to move the hell on already. (i cant help but wonder why. even With a potential 'what if you got another chance?' implication, the aversion still stands. what do you mean by this.)
but then, of course, this Starkly changes with the introduction of rose. after that? it is comedically easy djhfgdj
not only is there an Actual Physical person that she pretty much just Blindly Trusts, but she also starts having Actual Wants past 'dont talk to me' and 'let me mind my own fucking business.' its tenuous, but she Does start more openly caring about the safety of other people, even if she doesnt really particularly know them. but that's a much more slow, kind of mild thing. the easiest (albeit less thorough) way is to present as someone who genuinely needs help- especially if theyre particularly young. its more distant, but she Will try to help.
and then theres the fucking. Situation. with rose. of course she'd be highly on edge about the entire ordeal (thats just how she Is,) but its not a terribly difficult part to play on the surface level because. well. yeah. she misses her. she Wants for things to just suddenly be okay, it was fine, and they all make it out okay. and if rose says its okay, then its probably okay, because why would rose lie to her?
but then theres the Problems. see, i havent exactly pinned down the precise Details of what happens, but its been like that from the very start. in an attempt to keep wolfe from being pulled into a self-destructive spiral, yet another monster they just Have to put down because As Sad As It Is, There's No Other Option; (and also keep the same thing from happening to anyone else too, i guess,) she finds a way to take that role for Herself-- a self-induced loss of control with the goal of 1) exposing just a Bit more of what exactly was Causing everything, and 2) keeping wolfe from doing the exact same thing for Her. an act that she knows full well she almost certainly wont come back from. and well. she didnt. and on some level, this was the intent.
which Means. if that's the angle polaris decides to go for, they Will have to deal with the fallout of "what was that why did you do that why didnt you tell me anything why would you do that why didnt you let me do anything why did you do that what is wrong with you???"
so um have fun with that one, i guess.
#accidental rose jumpscare oops. tis bound to happen..#BEFORE I GET DISTRACTED ABT MY DUMBASSES this is such a fun scenario to chew on. i did my best with what icould remember#your little bug is Fascinating and every time theres more crumbs i pick them up and RUN. ihope thiswas. coherent at least a little. ok yay#piktalk#pikocs#SO. THE THING IS#THIS has been the running Issue between wolfe and rose. the ENTIRE time ive been talking about them.#but i can barely detail much of it bc so much is so undefined except for the critical character intention behind the actions.#rose inherently believes she can fix things on her own; but she Also believes that she is inherently-#-for lack of better terms; a Burden. she truly believes she is not a good person! and that simply being close to her-#-in any meaningful sense; is dangerous to whoever does it. she has no real reason to care about most people; but wolfe is different.#wolfe influences Her just as much as the other way around. and; ultimately; rose uses that trust to double down on her self image.#she wants to prove shes Capable; yes; but she also wants to hide her own imperfections under the guise of 'kindness.'#so she ends on an image that she Wants to be seen as; and doesnt give them the chance to prove her wrong.#she doesnt want anyone to See her. they dont deserve it. (they dont mean anything to her.)#she doesnt want wolfe to See her. she doesnt deserve it. (wolfe is better off without actually Knowing her.)#and it defines so much of why wolfe starts acting the way she does. not because she Believed what rose presented of herself-#-but because she never got the chance to ask for herself. because she trusted so blindly; she didnt have the chance to stop her.#the corsage was never a sweet memento from someone she'd lost; a 'remember me as i was; at my best';#but a reminder that even despite everything; she still hid so much of herself that its hard to know if she ever knew her at all.#there are So many small notes and annotations in just that one fucking act its Impossible. theyre Impossible.#roses decision was a firm You Have To Keep Living. You Have To Live. but what does that mean; coming from you?#it was meant to keep her alive. and it did; all things considered; but. but.#. so thats why this took so fucking long to answer JSHBFJSHBJFD#you miss her so much. what the fuck is her problem. why did she do that. you would do the same thing in a heartbeat. why did she do th#these two are the Epitome of Never Tells Me Anything Ever and Has To Make Everything As Convoluted As Possible. yip ^_^#ihope this was. comprehensible. beclaws my words started failing on me halfway thru. WAHA ^w^
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so due to money issues and also the fact that i have kind of a Big Project in the works i'm trying to figure out kofi and hfdjshg lord help me
#pidge speaks#its a long-overdue project rewrite and im hoping that doing something like this will keep me honest and working on it pseudo-consistently#but i have no idea how kofi works bc i am Stupid#anyway my paycheck was delayed by several days and between that and the Usual Bullshit That Is My Life#i have like $17 bucks in my bank account to last me The Next Two Weeks#i got bills to pay hgfjdkshdg#im debating including like#little snippets from The Vault: ie the depths of my google docs that i never finish or post#would love to take prompts again too#also i did a handful of TCM snippets for Kinktober that id like to clean up and post#idk this is just me gauging interest?????
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a mimir,,,
#you can tell where my cat used to like to sit on him KJKNASDKJN those little dots are claw holes ;;;;;;#also i don't think?? i've shown off the blanket i made last year??? but there's a little hint of how fun the pattern was kdkjndsf#man i didn't realize how long ive had this thing. finally got it uhhhhh 3rd year of college? sssoooo ~12-13 yrs? goddamn.#and he only just got a proper body pillow insert a few months ago ;;; (this size wasn't standard in the US at the time so my only#option was to (HAND!!! BC I WAS AWAY FROM HOME!!!) sew two normal pillows together with a bedsheet sewn over top as a cover#so the end product was the correct size. but i did it! bc i love him sm!!! and i needed to fit him in that teeny tiny dorm bed asap.#but now he's nice and fresh and doesn't slump in awkwardly in the middle ;'D)#nowadays he keeps me from thrashing around and ending up on the opposite side of the bed. bless him.#📌 [ my posts. ]#��� [ my thoughts. ]#📷 [ phantom hearts. ]#[ oushiversary. ]
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jk's baby emo / eyeliner looks walked so byan could run tbh
#aka i was looking for stuff for a possible tattoo vibes moodboard and got lost down a pinterest rabbithole#looking for a decent pic of the makeup look in the middle bc i randomly remembered it last night n haven't been able to stop thinking abt i#the little glued on studs? the hefty eyeliner? like. cmon. that's such a byan look ok#anyway byan absolutely had an emo phase before their pastel cutesy phase (long before they mashed the two together for their current vibe)#and i just love that there are old babyfaced jk images out there to suit that yk?#okok i'm don't being distracted for the moment i'll get back to silly tattoo ink replies lmao#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ shitpost ⋮ bold of you to assume i've reached peak dumbass.
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there are a couple changes i would make to the keyboard if i could:
wiggly exclamation mark
bleeding heart emoji
varying snake emojis (more poses would be fun)
question mark with a little heart for the dot bc, well,
more explosions
and that is all thank you
#just me hi#i need these a lot#wiggly bc it makes a lot of sense#i am saying something but with a sort of ~~~~~~ to it!!#/bleeding heart because the other night (it musta been about 3 a.m.) i was looking for an emoji to really get my point across and i sadly#realized that i had imagined the existence of it. the disappointment was immense <//3 hfhs#/SNAKES. need i say more? :>#do i know a lot about them? not yet. am i scared of them? yes. but i love them a lot thanky#/i am asking a question but it's with love#<3#/explosion emoji my beloved#we NEED to diversify hfhsvb#a mushroom cloud would be cool :3 or one that clearly has shrapnel in it#or one with a little heart that's like the exploding head emoji. because it's like that#i'm mentioning hearts a lot bc the heart is willing but the brain is. trying#//anyway in the other newsings i'm remaking those pi.e refs again lmao 👍#ik they're only so many months old but man i changed some of the designs a bit during those months hfhs#funny how i made refs because i thought 'oh i haven't changed their designs in forever - it's not like it'll happen anytime soon yea?'#and then..........#oath's design has changed the most minimally during these - how many ? two‚ three-ish years - so i thought Ahh nothin'll happen#but Then--#aura has morphed So many times - she was at least 3 different people before i actually Got her so hfvhs <3#kinda knew that would happen. but she's actually changed the least so Lollll#hid's usual look has not changed at All - only his actual form‚ which i tweak every second day or something#and i've neglected kira so badly fvfsh - so now i've added and removed and swapped things for her in worldrecord time ! i think i've got he#in a way i like though so :D#but bc of all these changes now i gotta make new refs bc they are Inaccurate#not a big deal. but oh it IS#wonder how long it'll take me this time lol :) only one way to know ehegh#//anywho ciao ! i've got the things and stuffs to be doing.. ooo toodles :33
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the only reason a togiri hannibal au doesn't fully work is because there is no world where byakuya would or could be qualified to work as a therapist. on the other hand i am fully inclined to believe kyoko could go full will graham, sweaty delirium and all, when the right circumstances call for it
#togiri#danganronpa thh#a togiri hannibal au could only work if. byakuya was just a rich eccentric#and all the victims happened to be other rich people who had ties to the togami conglomerate#therefore requiring kyoko to meet with him from time to time. during which he develops an infatuation with her#and starts trying to woo her through long-winded flowery prose on the nature of death and her role in delivering justice#meanwhile she hasnt slept right in three days and has been wearing the same shirt for two#this au would require suspension of disbelief that 1. kyoko would work with law enforcement and 2. byakuya can cook for himself#if i wanted to squeeze tonaegiri in here then makoto would have to be like. the equivalent of alana bloom ig?#he's kyoko's casual friend who happens to have ties with byakuya bc he somehow managed to interview to be his secretary once#and got all the way to the last round where he was talking to byakuya personally before he figured he wasn't qualified to work here#both byakuya and kyoko could be will graham but kyoko could also be a better hannibal than byakuya#grown-up kyoko with no real ties to anyone would be ratty and a little fucked up. she should get to own a million dogs in a nowhere shack
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i made the horrendous mistake of watching the start of an old rdr2 playthrough while taking a break from writing and it was possibly the worst decision i've ever made
#my mind is torn between western au and hockey au bc i can't stop thinking about sid crosby and nate mackinnon at the asg#(neither are what im writing for my exchange)#there are so many fics i want to read... but if i let myself pick them up before finishing this fic i will be proving my lack of selfcontro#ceil's ko-fi fic AND new chapter of the price fic????? i want them so BAD but i like actually just cannot let myself#i have good asks in my inbox but i canNOT let myself answer them#it took me soooo long to figure out what to do with this fic AND i have two abandoned drafts from when i first got my exchange person#so i've been stuck here for like. ever. with no progress made!!!!#((that's not true i've actually made a good amount of progress on this final draft but let me complain))#i am Not going to have time to edit as much as i usually like to btw so like. if it's a little rough around the edges NOBODY say smth#not that anyone would?? i've never gotten a bitchy “constructive criticism” comment but im terrified of them lmfao#welcome back to: venting in the tags#y'all im distractible and stressed
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does anyone have like. things to say/show to a little who is in Emotional Distress and can't get out of it (he's like 9 and like,,,,, deeply traumatized,, and he hasn't been able to calm down for several days)
#we got him to eat some mashed potatoes today and he's okay with like. two entire headmates being around him#he won't even accept comfort from his initial caretaker in the system he's clinging to taryn and reagan instead#but like other than that tiny amount of progress he's still. fucked up#it's been about a week of this and today is the first day he's accepted a hug#he's just terrified of everything and nearly catatonic from the level of emotional distress#like not speaking barely moving only slightly reacting to anything#only communicating in nods and shrugs#we're all so worried but we haven't had a little in front in so long let alone a traumatized little#the last pair of littles we've had in front were two very emotionally sound and energetic little boys which are different to deal with#they were two little chaos gremlins that's a very different type of parenting than for a child who doesn't trust adults much#he only trusts taryn and reagan because they've helped him with stuff that made him feel more safe#like helping set up his bedroom in headspace or enforcing his boundaries with other headmates#and because both of them are mothers so they know a little more about how to care for children compared to others in headspace#taryn got him a unicorn plushie at goodwill recently and it's been his only comfort item all week#we also would like suggestions for names for her bc we're bad at naming plushies but that's less important
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btw i am still alive now that i have recovered from swiftkirchen and i hope you are all doing super well this summer! i am FLYING through my reading list atm which is amazing and i am feeling more and more inspired for things (footballer!paz anyone? roommate!paz as well maybe?) so hmu in the inbox it is TIME TO THIRST
#this month has been so crazy#being an adult is constantly switching from bone deep exhaustion to fully packed calendars for social things#and i love the social things don't get me wrong but like#i need time to rot#i need time to stare out the window and daydream#and i have had the bEST scenarios come up in my head just before i fall asleep#(aka the main way i get any of my writing outlined lol)#but i have barely even opened my laptop in the past two weeks#never mind written anything down#anyway what i am trying to say is that i think this 'forced' break kind of got my muse going again#i am thinking of all the things and i even wanted to write a little bit for biker!Paz again which#let me tell you#has not happened in a LONG LONG time#also also#sarah made me the PRETTIEST BESTEST AWESOMEST friendship bracelets for calm and the one#and obv i am now thinking again of that other bodyguard!paz idea i had going in my brain that one time#cause i kind of forgot about The One???#but also did i ever tell you guys about the modern calmer au i was thinking of?#bc i had a weird/uncomfy rideshare experience recently#and nothing happened and i was never unsafe at any point#but boy oh boy do i think this would fit in that au#anyway#i know there are some asks in my inbox that i never got to so maybe i'll get to it today!#may rambles
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