#just tricky to have on tumblr where it's less of a discussion

[raytorosaurus]

The most underrated mcr song is party at the end of the world. If you asked me right now to sing it I wouldn’t know what to do. I don’t remember how she goes without hearing first.

oh okay see this could be my bad or like a semantics thing bc im definitely defining "underrated" as song that should be appreciated/ranked more highly than it generally is among fans, no matter how highly it currently is. obvs that's an impossible thing to properly measure which is why there are lots of correct answers here lol. so like for example thank you for the venom and the end/dead are very loved but imo they should be up there with mama and helena in terms of Timelessly Iconic Quintessential My Chem Songs that nobody ever says a bad word about yk? and in a different way, teenagers is their most played song on spotify which i don't think it deserves, but that does mean that on here people unfairly dismiss it or ignore it a lot when it's really fucking good and musically clever song. i defs should have specified that im mostly talking about online mcr fandom and not the general public lol

the interesting thing in dedicated fandom circles is that often a disproportionate amount of attention is given to the less famous deep cuts. i definitely understand why and i do it myself too but sometimes it results in really good main album tracks getting less appreciation around here than they deserve (in fan spaces specifically) compared to bsides, bonus tracks etc. and i totally agree that a couple of my fave tracks are deep cuts but i think sometimes some of those fandom faves actually wouldn't stand out as much to us if they were just on an album dhdlhff.

anyway by that metric i would actually agree that party at the end of the world is underrated bc ur right it's literally never mentioned when it does slap. but once again definitely not a contender for the most

[sgiandubh]

Do you think he does different types of promo to attract all the different crowds?

Dear Promo Anon,

Not only I think he does that, I also happen to think he (or anyone seriously hoping to sell anything other than snake oil) should do exactly that.

The problem is not the logical correlation between what you want to sell and the people to whom you want to sell it. The first problem is the lack of balance between your way of interacting with your different target groups, which could lead to a very fuzzy brand image. Both of your products and of yourself, who are their creator and main promoter.

Promoting a brand without a clear set of main ideas and values is very likely to have a negative impact on your sales. Show them biceps, sea, sex (?) and sun galore is all fine and dandy for the younger crowd (and the LGBT+ one, btw). But showing at the same time that you can be a gentleman (please, for the love of Saruman, get rid of those rings! that woman doesn't know what she's talking about!) should be at least on par with the Lustfest promise you ventilate to your other segment. Possible message being: working hard and playing hard - you can have the best of both worlds (or at least try).

The second problem is that S's brand is.. ehrm... way too personal. Too approachable (I already mentioned the Costco Hugfest) for a rabid fandom. That goes both ways, btw, because many (on both sides of the Great Divide) honestly feel they own a bit of S. At the same time, he is also JAMMF to many people in here, who imagine he has almost superhuman qualities (most probably not the case). That is exhilarating and empowering, until it's not. One or three or twenty faux-pas later, people will feel the savage urge to spit on the idol. A simple matter of collective instinct, but a very tricky situation for S.

The third problem are the side players. I am not talking about AN or CB or TMcG or the Fitness Harem. I am talking about the Trolls, who really don't do him any favor. Nothing worse for his brand potential than lascivious comments - let's suppose you are a major distributor's marketing expert and you land on That Blog, where the owner shares publicly her dream of licking her way from (how was it?) LHR to GLA to the Highlands to the ends of the known Universe, for a chance of God knows what. What would you write in that memo to the CEO? 'Yes, please: immediately place ALL his booze upfront near the cashier, because the man is an idol to a bunch of fifty-something women who dream the impossible dream?' You think I am exaggerating? Try googling for SRH tumblr and see the first results (😱). These people are visible and that visibility directly informs the interaction between SS and its potential business partners. Especially when your Partner Everyday thought blasting a sizeable chunk of OL's Tumblr fandom in Vanity Fair was a clever strategy for The Win - things like this invite (unwanted) attention.

I pleaded for diversification of the marketing strategy and for a more sophisticated approach and I welcome the change, Anon. The only thing I would like you to take home from this very long answer is simple:

Social Media is just Social Media. The glitz, the glam, the superficial stardust, the Truman Show where it never rains.

Real Life is Real Life. We only see glimpses, speculate on it, have a more or less educated guess and if we are lucky enough, some tidbits to chew on.

Progressively, the very unprofessional (bantering) Social Media strategy has been replaced with an account strategy based on product promotion. Convenient, when you do not (for reasons X, Y and Z) want to discuss what you feel is private and likely to remain so, for a while.

That's about it, Anon. If you still have questions, you can always pop in here. I promise I won't charge a retainer, out of my good heart.

[bluecatwriter]

⭐ Step into the Light, which deserves way more attention

Thanks so much for the ask! This is one of my fics I'm most proud of. :)

The fic in question: "Some scenes from Quincey Morris's and Jonathan Harker's complicated relationship, from their time in Varna to the end of the novel, told through their alternating points of view."

Spoilers ahead…

-I know that, like most of my fics, this one was inspired by a Tumblr discussion, but I can't remember who started it or exactly what it was about, other than something about being able to surmise a very interesting relationship between Quincey and Jonathan near the end of the book, culminating with Quincey dying in Jonathan's arms. There was just a lot to explore there, and the idea of doing a back-and-forth perspective switch came to mind.

-Figuring out which beats of the story would be from which perspective was a little tricky; this was one of the few fics where I created a rough outline, and some of the perspectives got shuffled one to the other in order to keep them alternating.

-I usually write in third person, but the idea of using first/second person, with Quincey and Jonathan referring to each other as "you" in their respective scenes, got stuck in my head. It gave the story such an interesting intimacy to it, showing how these events are causing their worlds to sort of revolve around each other. To lend a greater sense of immediacy, I made it present tense instead of my usual past tense.

-Writing Jonathan's scenes came fairly naturally, since I've written a lot from his perspective (albeit in third person) and my third-person voice for him isn't that different from his first-person speaking voice. 

-Quincey's scenes were much more of a challenge; I ended up drafting them in my "normal" narrative voice and then went back later to rewrite nearly every sentence, taking into consideration his speaking patterns. Although I don't know anyone from Texas very well, I drew a lot from my extended family who live in the South, trying to capture the vivid phrasing and storytelling sensibility that goes into a lot of their speech. 

-I always have a hard time coming up with titles (which is why half my fics are named things like "Two Men Talking" LOL). But I was pleased with the title from this one, alluding to the lines: "I feel you staring at us like a coyote outside the light of a campfire ring…I wish I could grab your hand the way you grabbed mine just days ago. Draw you into this ring of light, hold your hand till you know you're safe."

-I decided that I wasn't going to explicitly say whose perspective we were in during any given scene, relying on the line breaks and the different in dialect to get it across. I think I succeeded.

-My preferred headcanon of Jonathan during this time is actually a lot less bitter and standoffish, but it was interesting to explore this version of him in this fic. He's running on pure animal instinct at this point, and Quincey is (wisely) treating him as such.

-I got a bit obsessed with the dynamic of Quincey being fully aware that Jonathan would kill him if he ever tried to stake vampire Mina— and him being cool with that. They've each made their promises, and it's Quincey's job to make sure that this clash never has to happen (but to accept the consequences if it does).

-I had to throw in a lil Quincey pining over Jonathan (and vice versa) because I am a big sucker for Yeehawrker. :D

-I am still very happy with the lines, "You'd look good spattered in the blood of a fresh kill. You'd still look good, even if the blood was mine." (Foreshadowing babey)

-Had to let Jonathan have a good cry! I thought this was an important moment, too, because Jonathan being able to not only break down in front of Quincey, but accept his comfort, was a big turning point for the two of them. Live in the moment, Jonno. You got this.

-Originally Quincey's death scene was from Jonathan's perspective, which makes more sense than writing from a guy who's dead, but I actually really like that my back-and-forth formula ended with Quincey's view of his own death; I think it gives the scene an eerie, almost dreamlike feel, and nicely bookends the whole fic through Quincey's eyes. (Present tense to the rescue, too.)

-I decided to draw out Quincey's monologue a bit more, and give Jonathan a couple words, as well as tying back in the imagery of Jonathan covered in Quincey's blood. And of course, we gotta have the final image of Jonathan (metaphorically stepping) into the light, smiling in the light of the sunset. It was a nice image to end with.

I'm enjoying these Director's Commentaries a bit too much! ;) Thanks again for asking!

(Ask game here)

[the-noted-collector]

is Eckil a fae (something of a weird character study post)

Random thought passed around the discord (among other conversation) is that Eckil is fae-coded.

I mean yeah thinking about it, 'strange uncanny human in a moth wing cloak stealing people's bones' sounds pretty much like a fae sighting to be fully honest.

But then I started thinking about it so now we have more thoughts.

The main thought is that Eckil really is just, like, two steps away from being some kind of fae, if they aren't just straight up one already. It sounds weird but I do have points so here we go, mini-essay/character study time. [Upon reflection while writing, a dehumanization warning is likely warrented for the entirety of this writing as it does highly discuss themes of detacting from humanity and explicit seperation. I will also give warnings on mentions of death/killing, mentions of military service/being gone for long periods, commentary on social expectations of the Victorian Era, potentially some discussion of tramua, and general themes of social seperation/detactment/otherness.]

Uncanny

One of the main points here is Eckil's uncanniness. I know I don't post to Tumblr often on it yet (as it comes later in Eckil's Tale then we're at, and I don't usually just post on my ocs here) but thanks to MA developments Eckil has many traits that would be considered uncanny to regular people (more canines, more diamond/rhombus like irises, nails being more akin to claws, overall just...sharper then a human should be).

While it is rooted from MA, and therefore could just be explained as typical Neathy effects of such a study, the specific way it manifests does cause Eckil to seem more akin to something like a fae/changeling or skin-stealer then what often happens when folks change from MA (often becoming more like were-creatures, from what I've seen of some friends). With the potential of further change when they hit MA 7 (and some possible changes soon from hitting 5), I feel it just becomes more likely that they really do end up looking like a fae rather then a human. How MA affects a character's humanity is...up to interpretation, but for Eckil I do think there's a point where it began to seperate them from being fully human.

Something to say on this is also that Eckil actively accepts being inhuman, too. Less a point on them being a fae specifically but it feels important to acknowledge that Eckil does enjoy these changes on a personal standpoint (how they feel on how it makes others view them is...tricky, to say the least, but that's not the point of the post).

Slight Explanation

Another point is..where we start to get into more personality stuff then simply analyzing peligin.

Eckil wants to be seperate from (human) society and it's expectations. While this...arguably isn't a point as to them being a fae, it helps explain some of their actions and feelings, especially towards societal morals and limitations for certain topics (particularly on death and art).

It also makes for a very fragile and strange line when you factor in that Eckil doesn't want to be viewed as not themself. Identity and retaining it is something very important to Eckil, so is the notion that while someone can change they are still the same person. However Eckil's view on being percieved as human is remarkably different (in that they don't care if they are seen as human or something else).

Like I said, this is far less a point for them being a fae, and far more a general explanation of some of the other things I'm gonna bring up, and why they hold some of the views they do.

Viewpoints

Things that don't really factor into either proof of humanity or fae, but feel important to acknowledge as views Eckil has regarding humanity, themself, and morality (particularly due to relevance to the conversation). This will also elaborate some on why Eckil has these viewpoints, which will include references to their past on the Surface and potentially some on their time in the army. Perhaps I'll make another post elaborating on Eckil's life, but for now the references will be as brief as they can understandably be.

• Prior mentioned apathy towards being considered human or other (general thing they picked up from being in the Neath and around humaniod/inhuman folk)

• Prior mentioned apathy/hatred for socialital expectations (this bases some in their experiences of returning from being gone for years and having almost no-one actually listen when they tried to acknowledge that they saw some fucked up things while serving, as well as in being expected to be married and start a family, tying into the next viewpoint mention) [another note here; when they DID finally begin to act different (like expected) and it didn't fall into what people thought was respectable, Eckil did experience a period of being considered bad to be around and became something of a social outcast. Part of why this is hatred, and not simply a dislike or bordering on neutrality]

• Prior mentioned fear towards being considered someone else entirely (once again, based in returning from service and being treated like a entirely different man. Many experiences and shown ideals they expressed before leaving were considered void, and they were expected to act in a entirely different manner, be someone entirely new, and start their own family almost immediately despite this and trying to process everything.)

• Obsession with the human framework, particularly a focus on bones/the notion that humans are marvelous architecture (something that began to be seen early on in the Neath, and likely rooted from Surface experience, that has slowly developed over time, coming to a full realization upon going through Godfall and seeing the Shapeling Arts in full action)

• Change is good, change should be sought, change (particularly a high amount of change) is growth and beauty (this is something that developed during their service, and came into full consideration in the Neath (not that it didn't affect their actions on the Surface, however it factors more when you can literally change your own body parts) [note; Eckil views 'change' and 'developments' as two mostly seperate concepts. Developments are nuanced and can be bad.]

• Death is beautiful (came to light in the Neath after some conversations with the boatman and self-reflection)

• Art can change and be made into new art (this came somewhere inbetween 'death is beautiful' and 'humans are architecture', can't say exactly when)

• Not a viewpoint but a trait that they have yet to acknowledge that skews their mentality around this; Eckil experiences some meshing between themself and inhuman figures (the most prominent example being the Vake during BaL) and therefore has far less qualms around inhumanity. It's due to a few things but important to note as something that happens to them, especially when mental fuckery gets involved.

Actions

Some actions Eckil often takes that could be considered fae-like (or at least something most usual people aren't likely to be doing). Of course, this is mostly of my own analysis and I will have my biases around what is and isn't fae-like; if anyone has a behavior of theirs that I haven't mentioned that they feel could be noteworthy, feel free to say so.

• The whole bonestealing thing. That in general is something a little odd and was part of why I originally began to debate this.

• Connected to this, why they steal bones in the first place (they see it in itself as a art, that can make more art).

• Deliberate use of uncanniness, primarily for hunting or intimidation

• Remarkably casual about things most would consider unnerving or morally wrong (not entirely indicative of being fae-like and not just fucked up, but still) [note: there is some limits to this too.]

• Gets very...antsy about being expected to do something in line with society, regardless on if they would want to on a personal level

• Often simply appears at gatherings, despite being a terrible socializer and disliking encountering new people (admittedly very ????)

• Can be attracted via odd means (often by offering bone or speaking of hunting and murder)

• Despite usual bluntness, becomes very indirect about deals and vows, allowing for easy manipulation of interpretation

And with all that covered...

[frownyalfred]

I know it can sound like a weird question, but I sincerely look up to you as a writer.

How do you keep motivation to write and plot such big/complex projects? And how do you have so much creativity to write so many things??

Thank you <333

Thank you anon! I definitely don't really feel like someone to look up to, but I really appreciate it.

Motivation is tricky. I would say it's generally fleeting -- what sticks around is habit. Building a routine where writing is an everyday (loose interpretation of the word) part of your life is important. It's kind of like finally settling into a good exercise routine; once you've really built a habit, it feels kind of awful to go without it for more than a few days.

Creativity is hard though. You can't always force it, routine or not. I've learned over the years what things or discussions spark creativity for me, such as discussing shows or movies with a friend, taking a walk and thinking through a plot, or scrolling through tumblr/tiktok to see what other people are talking about.

I think what helps me is that I'm slowly learning to be less critical about my work, and that leads to a much faster turn around on some fics. I often write things the same day I post them, and I'm okay when they don't do as well, because I got my thoughts down on paper and out, which is infinitely more important than sitting on them until they're perfect.

As for large or complex plots, I still struggle with this. I just messaged my beta this morning about borderline, who was (as they always are) infinitely useful. I think it helps to phrase plotting in terms of questions, possible answers, and problems. Waypoints and goals.

My problem today was simple -- how do I get from point A to point B in a realistic way? I had several potential answers and ten times as many issues with each one. They were able to offer a new answer that got my brain back on track, and it filled in the rest.

My advice, if you don't have an amazing beta like mine, is to find a friend or fellow fandom writer, or even a discord, to talk through your plotting with. Writers want to help you! So do readers. And even if the answers they offer aren't what you want, sometimes hearing what doesn't work tricks your brain into figuring out what does.

I will say that a not-insignificant part of my motivation in the past, and sometimes the present, is comments/asks. I really thrive on being validated with that kind of feedback, but I'm slowly learning to write without it or in the face of negative responses. It's a hard cycle to jump in and out of as a writer, because so much of the creative process can rely on readers or followers asking questions, expressing support, etc.

TL;DR: keep writing and make it a habit if possible. talk to fellow fandom creators and try to figure out what sparks ideas for you. and good luck <3

[cruelfeline]

To @cruelfeline // Cc @ladybinary because some of this pertains to my interactions with you. (It is very surprising that you two have not blocked me yet as far as I can tell, but I’m going to take advantage of that to try to do something reasonable instead of something bad). I was the one who repeatedly sent the creepy anonymous asks regarding Horde Prime (or at least, most of them) and I wanted to apologize for my horrible behavior towards you. It was very immature of me to not respect your boundaries. I understand that you will not forgive me, but I wanted to tell you anyway. Also, I didn’t want to hide my behavior behind the idea of being anonymous anymore, so I didn’t. You can ignore this, or publish this and comment on it, or publish this and comment on it but specifically crop my name away, or read this and send me a reply through private messaging, and send it to ladybinary later. I won’t be upset by any of the options you pick, the power should be in your hands. I guess I would prefer the last option, but it is up to you. I’m sort of expecting you to ignore me and block me though, since given my behavior, you probably don’t want to hear anything from me ever again. Tumblr wouldn’t let me do a cut, but…  **more under the cut and It Gets Worse** Basically, I enjoyed some of your posts and something about your writing style made it entertaining(?) for me to upset you for my own amusement. So, along the lines of why I suspect most people who do a specific kind of online harassment do what they do. But here’s where things get very interesting and horrible in a way that you may not expect: I had/have this tendency to do something mean or immature, and then somehow rationalize it as being “not me”. I don’t mean this in a straightforward sense of not wanting to take responsibility for my own actions—although it certainly is that! I don’t even mean it in a sense of thinking that the bad action was done by someone else, or the fault of someone else. I mean it in a sense of… I would do something, and then decide that it doesn’t “count”(?) towards who I am, because it doesn’t match my beliefs or internal concept of myself. And then I would willfully(?) forget that I had done it until I felt like doing it again. Like, I had a certain idea of who I wanted to be, but instead of actually striving for it, I would just… as a starting point, decide that this is who I am, and that any behavior that fell outside of that wasn’t reflective of who I actually was “on the inside”. I wasn’t consciously aware that I was doing this, and by the very nature of itself, it is a tricky thing to catch yourself doing. Now obviously, this is cheating, so to speak. This is not how assessing someone’s moral character works, so I can’t… apply it to myself and no one else. Instead, your moral character can be assessed through observing your actions, both good and bad. I think this is reasonable, but I don’t want to get caught up in a rant about moral philosophy right now. I just want to apologize for something I did that was not good by literally any reasonable definition ever. So the solution, then, instead of defending my mental image of myself, or splitting myself into pieces so that I can keep doing bad behavior with no consequences, is to… try and actually behave in a way that makes sense to what I believe, both about myself, and about the way people should behave in general. If I think that online harassment is bad, then I shouldn’t do it. And it sounds so obvious when you say it like that! There’s a second part to this, too, which is slightly less horrible, but still worth discussing. So, on some level, I knew what I was doing was… not who I wanted to be, but I had not quite worked out that it was a reflection of who I was, just as much as everything else I did… and so, I silently decreased and then got rid of the horrible behavior in situations where it was obviously, obviously not wanted. But here’s the thing: even when I am not intending to do online harassment, I can end up doing it anyway by being really, really bad at assessing what the other person is thinking, or not understanding the norms of the group, what people’s boundaries even are so I can respect them. If I don’t know that they don’t want me to screech about Horde Prime or whatever else I feel like screeching about at that moment, then I will do it. But the effect is the same, and it is completely understandable if I get blocked or banned for that reason. I only recently figured out that I could be in the wrong about this. This is partially because of the “my behavior somehow doesn’t reflect who I am” bullshit from earlier, but it is also because… I had some unpleasant interactions on Discord, and in real life, where people just dislike me (or even harassed me as I have harassed you) for being too weird or too intense by some arbitrary standard. When you add strong emotions and black-and-white thinking to that, it becomes, “well, literally any time someone doesn’t like something I’m doing online, they’re being close-minded and that’s their problem!” and I can see now that that’s not true. Sometimes, if someone doesn’t like something I’m doing online, that really is their problem, but… well, sometimes, it’s mine. It is a nuanced thing. It depends on what I am doing, and the context in which I’m doing it. Writing a post on your own site is different than sending an ask, and behavior that is directed at someone personally, for them to see, needs to be held to a higher standard than just talking to yourself/your audience on the internet. I also want to tell you what made me change my mind regarding my behavior towards you. Or, not change my mind about the behavior itself, because I suspect that I always knew it was bad, and that it was the “my behavior somehow doesn’t reflect who I am” bullshit which stopped me from actually changing it. One of the things was assessing a real person and then a fictional character who did something worse than me with an uncomfortably similar psychological process. I like to think about fictional characters, and sometimes it causes me to learn about myself, if they are like me in some way. Sometimes, that knowledge is comforting. Other times, it is uncomfortable, but still necessary or helpful in some way. The other was being held accountable for my actions by getting blocked/having certain people get upset at me. This is really important. It isn’t just that people who get bullied or harassed don’t have to forgive, and are allowed to be upset in terms of just… themselves and their right to be upset. It’s also that, if the person who did something bad in the first place is actually interested in becoming a better person, then they will accept that there are consequences sometimes. It is not… horrible to them, and they are the victim now somehow. Rather, it is morally similar to splashing cold water on your face so that you can feel more awake. It’s unpleasant but very effective if you know what I mean. I want to be clear, this entire under-the-cut section is not to guilt-trip either of you into forgiving me, it is to explain how someone who spent a rather long time doing and saying things that were terrible and honestly just… gross… could decide that they are going to stop behaving that way, by coming to a realization of how their own moral character should be assessed. In fact, I actively expect that you are not going to forgive me, or even believe that I am being sincere, but given how I behaved… that’s honestly just what happens. As for what I’ll do in the future, aside from stopping this one specific obnoxious behavior… I will err on the side of caution when directly interacting with people online. If it is any of my own sites or a private piece of writing, I will go wild and if people don’t like that then they can block me, but in terms of behavior directed at specific individuals, I will use more caution. The other thing I will do is understand that my bad actions reflect my moral character, just like my good actions reflect my moral character, or other people’s bad actions reflect their moral character. Unfortunately, I cannot literally just say that I’m going to be a good person now, because that would most likely be a lie. Because even now, when I am like, “Okay, our actions reflect our character, and we will be careful to behave in a way that makes sense to what we believe…” My moral compass is very, very, very messed up for reasons outside the scope of this post. I will obtain a better moral compass by educating myself on social issues and continuing to think carefully about the things I read. I will also think some more about my previous bad actions outside of harassing you. That was a really unsatisfying conclusion and really just not the best thing I’ve ever written in general, but oh well.

Dude. If you think I’m going to actually read whatever self-involved monologue you’ve vomited into my inbox, you’ve got another thing coming. I do not care about the mental gymnastics you indulged in to further those perverse, gross asks you sent me. All I care about is that I finally have your username so I can easily block you without ruining anon for everyone else. And that you sent this publicly so other people can block you as well, if they so choose.

Don’t talk to me.

[hollowsoul12]

Anywho, on to a less happy post that I've been wanting to make, yet was unable to make due to personal OCD reasons, I'm going to talk about the bright contraversity, but more specifically how poorly the tumblr side of the community has handled and how separating art from artist is tricky in this situation. (Now just like most of the bright post this will be getting into it, this post contains mentions of serious and horrible sexual topics relating to AdminBright. If you are a bright system you should go into this post with caution, as I won't be kind of AdminBrights creations in the slightest. Also you should check out Daisy Adia's document on her previous relationship with AdminBright regardless of whether you read this post or not)

So, most of you have probably already know of the basic gist of the situation, but if you have not been checking the scp tumblr tag for a while or dont even know what a AdminBright i, let me just catch you up to speed: Recently the contraversity of AdminBright (or Theduckman), the creator of Dr. Bright, Brights family, and handful of other SCPs as well as being a previous staff member for the wiki before he was banned, after "the list of things Dr. Bright is not allowed to do at the foundation" was temporarily deleted by a leaving staff member without telling the rest staff. The reason this article specifically was targeted was because AdminBright is a known s*x pest that s*xually and emotionally manipulated/ab*sed multiple people and, due to the list being the most egregious interpretation of his self insert on the wiki (as the list portrayed him as a womanizer and pervert), its been one that held the most hatred in the on-site community. Unfortunately, due to the licensing and previous scp wiki rules, the article has been brought back and has gained protected status due to its unprompted deletion. This one action, however, has lit a new spark of hope of getting rid bright from the site, as the list was the biggest stop sign in peoples hope of getting rid of him and with its deletion it weakened that obstacle. Now people on both the off-site and on-site community have been going about protesting and rewriting articles surrounding bright from changing his name and creating a new character to less than subtle frustration of allowing the bright list back. Meanwhile their is many others that are simply trying to figure out with what to do next. 

This latter group, however, is where the problem's mentioned in the beginning have started to occur. You see, the tumblr side of the community, as well as many other parts of the off-site community, have (and I try to put this is the nicest way possible) been stagnant in relation to scp, but tumblr in particular has been extremely stagnant. What I mean in this case is that unless its about a scp that's over 1000+ upvotes or is character/group that got a cult following during series 1-3 (alagadda, nalka/sarkics, the doctors of the foundation). it wont get discussed and even then the stuff discussed isn't looked at from a meta/real life angle. It is also due to this extreme stagnation that now that this situation about bright has once again resurfaced, it has been a mixed about the idea of getting rid of or even replacing bright. Some have decided to cut ties with bright, but a very vocal group of people on here have decided to basically dig their heals in here and even started to deflect the anger towards people trying to replace him like DJ Kaktus.

Now, I've tried my best to keep calm try to figure out a way to reach a certain middle ground with this situation, as I know their is a lot people that kin bright are generally normal/good people, and tried to figure out a ultimatum, but you know what I'm just gonna say my truthful opinion:

If you are a bright fan or any SCP fan for that matter and actually care about being against Theduckman, THEN JUST FUCKING MOVE ON FROM HIS SHITTY FETISH INSERT AND HIS INSERTS ABLEIST CODED FAMILY!!!

"BUT HE ISN'T A SELF INSERT ANYMORE, THE COMMUNITY HAS RECLAIMED HIM." Dr. Bright has been constantly used as a stand in for his creators sick fantasies, not just on the SCP wiki, but also in sexual roleplay. Dr. Bright, the character, was used by Theduckman to take advantage of people. Dr. Bright, the character, is reason Theduckman got to the position of admin and was able to take advantage of people. Hell, Brights amulet and his ability to swap bodies ican literally tie directly back to Theduckmans branding fetish Even after he got banned, he actively encouraged people to keep using his characters! Most in not all active on-site authors know of Theduckmans past, and guess what, THEY WANT HIM GONE. Their also victims of Theduckman that want him gone. The only reason why people seem to have "separated" bright from Theduckman is because of the disconnect between the off-site and on-site communities, but I guarantee if many people actually knew the situation, more people would not be supporting keeping him around.

"BUT DR. BRIGHT AND HIS FAMILY ARE IMPORTANT TO THE SCP LORE" Dr. Bright and his family have not, is not, and will never be important to the lore of SCP because THEIR IS NO CANNON. Their entire storylines where Bright doesn't exist, hell their is multiple timelines where the foundation does not exist. And even if their was one overarching lore, bright and his family barley play a role in modern scp or are just their for name recognition. 

"BUT CHANGING BRIGHTS NAME DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING, WHY WOULD EVEN CHANGE THE NAME BUT KEEP THE CHARACTER THE SAME" BECAUSE OF BRIGHT FANS THAT DON"T WANT LET HIM DIE! STUFF LIKE SHAW ONLY EXSIST BECAUSE WON"T FUCKING LET BRIGHT DIE!

*Ahem* So, yeah, thats my opinion. Truthfully I know that its impossible to actually get rid of Bright and truthfully that not every single person thinks the same way about Bright as I do. In truth, this post is NOT meant to hat on people that like Bright but rather is meant show how fucked up Bright as a character is and how his existence in this fandoms needs to change. And in truth that change appears to be finally happening with the list being temporarily deleted. I hope that one day we finally can leave bright as a memory, but till that day we just have to stick to rewrites

[marley-manson]

🔥🔥

Thank you!

cutting this because I want to be able to edit it if I look back and feel I could phrase something better lol, it's a little tricky to talk about.

I think I'm more picky than most people about like... not exactly period-accuracy, I'm not scanning for correct random details, but period-vibes, in fic. I think people should write whatever they want, but when it comes to things I want to read I tend to avoid, say, Mash fic where characters have a modern-day understanding of kink, or identity politics, or feminism, or homophobia/racism/misogyny/etc, or sex positivity, or polyamory, or whatever. Part of what I like about older canons are those period vibes, trying to negotiate between a modern perspective and a decades-old perspective.

And this doesn't just mean like, homophobia misery porn, which I'm not into lol, I prefer exploring those historical pockets of happiness - but if the characters are living their best lives in a less enlightened period, I want to see how it's difficult, how they get there, some acknowledgement that it's not the same as today. If Hawkeye and Trapper are together, what do they tell people? Who gets to know, who doesn't? How do they discuss it, what terms do they use, etc? If he's not cis, how does Klinger view and explore his gender identity in a society where the term nonbinary doesn't exist? How might Peg feel about BJ hooking up with Hawkeye in a society where she can't just casually get a divorce and live her best life independently without facing a lot of adversity, and is therefore trapped to an extent?

I don't think anyone should be required to read up on like, gay history and stuff to write a fic set in the 50s, but a little acknowledgement that things were different and an effort not to sound like a tumblr post goes a long way for me too lol.

And yeah it's just fun for me, I really enjoy that sense of difference between now and then - even just to make the similarities stand out. It's something I'm drawn to and seek out.

And of course this is canon dependent, I used Mash as an example but like, it def also depends on the tone of the original. I'd have different expectations wrt period accuracy for a Black Sails fic than I would for an Our Flag Means Death fic, for instance lol. And Mash def has some anachronisms itself, but it does tend to comment on the 50s as part of its satirical period piece schtick so I think it's a worthwhile element to incorporate in fic. (though in fairness I mention sex positivity while Mash leans towards the 70s there, so yk, there's plenty of wiggle room)

[eartharoundsun]

Feminist – The Master of Social Media Presentation: Twitter – “Be Strong and Straightforward”, Facebook – “Everything must be in Moderation”, and Tumblr – “Just be Yourself”!

“You’d better manage yourself online!”

“Be careful with what you say on social media!”

“Your careless online image will destroy you! Pay attention to what you post!”

Hurt… but it sounds so familiar, right? Too often, we – under the female gender – always being criticized as irresponsible social media users and are required to control our online image better (Dobson & Ringrose 2016). But is that the reality? Think again! Girls are truly the social media game controller! Understanding the unique “vibe and behavior” of each platform, females know how to pick up different identities that work best for them on specific digital media. By analyzing “digital characteristics” on three platforms: Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr, are you ready to be surprised by how “tricky” a girl could be to use social media in multiple ways to participate in feminist activism? Okay, let’s dive in…

Twitter – “Be Strong and Straightforward”

Has anyone ever imagined a platform that is open for hot debates, controversial discussions, and well, curse words of course? Twitter gets your back! This is a micro-blogging platform that allows users to create brief bursts of text (known as “tweets”) of under 280 characters and is commonly organized around themed “hashtags” to facilitate communication between users (Keller 2019, p.5). Knowing the Twitter nature of prioritizing fast-moving content (both original and retweet), girls frequently develop hashtags to widely raise awareness of feminist issues like sexual abuse, racism, etc. on this platform (Keller et al. 2018, Loza 2014, Thrift 2014). #Metoo was one of the greatest feminist movements on Twitter since this hashtag has been used over 19 million times. On average, more than 55,000 tweets sharing personal stories and statements using the #Metoo hashtag were shared daily (Anderson & Toor 2020). Downright and straightforward are what women show off through this platform

Facebook – “Everything must be in Moderation”

Because of the “authentic identity” requirements and “imagined audience” concerns, honestly, this social media is far from an ideal platform for girls to fight for themselves!  With large profits coming from selling user databases to advertisers (Bivens 2015), individuals are required to create a “real self” by filling in first and last names when creating a Facebook profile. However, this could be triggering the spread of feminist activities, especially among teenage girls due to the fear of becoming the haters’ “targeted goal” in real life if they know too much about their personal information and identity. Moreover, Facebook's “friend circle” is also a huge concern. Since most of the “friends” users have are real ones – parents, siblings, etc., so of course, no one wants to freak out their grandma by reporting personal statements of being sexually racist! “Plus point”, because Facebook prohibits controversial debate about sexism, girls instead need to replace with “repost” less debatable content like comic feminist memes or sexist advertisements (Keller 2019, p.7). Moderation, conservative, and careful will be what I will describe feminist activities on Facebook

Tumblr – “Just be Yourself”

Is it too much to dream about a vibrant “individual-centered” long-post blogging platform where everyone is supported to be themselves, freely sharing whatever they want, build their own kingdom, and simply, just be as crazy and creative as they want without the pressure of being judged and criticized? Not anymore! Tumblr is here! With no personal profiles or “friend network” requirements, anonymity is Tumblr's biggest strength making girls insanely jump into this “heaven” to practice feminism (Keller 2019, p.7). With the nature of “nobody knows who anybody is” and “keep going without knowing what you are going to find”, Tumblr is like a perfect “black hole” where females can comfortably express their true feelings and personal issues (Keller 2019, p.8). Deep and authentic are what women normally show on Tumblr

Okay, let's just sum up a bit what our girls are doing online!

Even though we still need to face the sad reality that a “risk-free” digital platform will never have existed and feminist teenage girls and women – particularly those of queer, poor, color, or disabled – are now facing a higher risk of being social media targeted “hate speech (Keller 2019, p.9), just don’t be afraid! The period when women patiently tolerated defamation is over and feminism is growing stronger than ever before!

In the final words, I just wanna send a big heart to every female in this world and a quick reminder that you guys are smarter and stronger than you think! Together, let’s create a better place!

Reference

Anderson, M., & Toor, S 2020, ‘How social media users have discussed sexual harassment since #MeToo went viral’, Swinburne Library, https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/10/11/how-social-media-users-have-discussed-sexual-harassment-since-metoo-went-viral/

Dobson, A. S., & Ringrose, J 2016, ‘Sex education: Pedagogies of sex, gender, and shame in the schoolyards of tagged and exposed’, Sex Education: Sexuality, Society and Learning, 16, 8–21

Jessalynn, K 2019, “Oh, She’s a Tumblr Feminist”: Exploring the Platform Vernacular of Girls’ Social Media Feminisms, Social Media + Society, Volume 5 issue:3, p.5-9

Keller, J., Mendes, K., & Ringrose, J 2018, ‘Speaking “Unspeakable” things: Documenting digital responses to rape culture’, Journal of Gender Studies, 27(1), 22–36

Loza, S 2014, ‘Hashtag feminism, #SolidarityIsForWhiteWomen, and the other #FemFuture’, Ada: A Journal of Gender, New Media and Technology, 5, https://adanewme- dia.org/2014/07/issue5-loza/

Thrift, S 2014, ‘YesAllWomen as feminist meme event’, Feminist Media Studies, 14, 1090–1092

[florenceisfalling]

is this ordeal with dream making you reassess rpf fandoms in general or anything?

edit i realize i went on a mostly irrelevant tangent bc of my posts where i said ive always disliked the dsmp fandom, but if you were wondering Solely because of the allegations, no. stanning a real person always comes at a risk and while it sucks when things go awry i do think i'm normal Enough about my parasocial behaviors that i'll be fine mentally regardless of the outcome and will leave if i must. ok now onto the rest of the post

oh i'm ok discussing the community, just not like. the details of the allegations.

and the answer is: not particularly. the dsmp fandom is a pretty unique case, not in terms of content (i dont wanna sound like the kinda person who thinks minecraft rp is new) but in terms of community.

this is not to say that other fandoms surrounding real people are better, much less perfect, but they're definitely a more comfortable thing for me.

for one, i've seen a lot of people having the dsmp as a "baby's first fandom" sort of moment. i think this is because its something really popular that is harder to enjoy passively - while you can watch stranger things with your family and get the whole experience just by watching the show, with the dsmp you need to keep up with cc twitter pages and stuff to be fully in-the-loop, and this leads into fandom pretty easily. this means you have a lot of people going around getting into their very first discourse All At Once. and people who get Really attached to one thing and feel lost when suddenly the fandom they literally learned to draw/write/etc for goes quiet.

for two, the dsmp is a category that is broad as hell. its not like i watch all the ccs. i think that would probably make my brain melt from my ears. but when you have a category that is Broad As Johnny Bravo's Shoulders, its more like a million little fandoms than one big one, and they all overlap but don't really Share A Space. u can like someone's tubbo fanart and then see in their bio that they like, have a really strong vendetta against quackity or something. or vice versa. you also have a lot of shit to keep up with, which is simply too much for me. i will continue just having like. three dudes to think abt from now on rather than 30

thirdly, the thing Above about there being so many ccs does make the fandom more Baffling for everybody, and the community seemed to repeatedly add to that. i am not going to be like "hari and every popular blogger is evil! what about people who ARENT popular >:(" bc that is downright ridiculous, but think abt stuff like duo names, oddly specific tags, referring to ppl solely by nicknames, spreading conversation back and forth between multiple social media sites rather than just tumblr, etc - all of those things had a purpose and were perfectly fine (anyone who tells you that you must refer to your friends by username only just to make Their online experience more accessible is an idiot) but they did make things tricky for newcomers. friend groups aren't inherently cliques, but some of the ppl ive seen claiming that its "super easy to pop in and join no problem!" are the Exact folks ive seen unintentionally exclude others. again, not a moral failing, just a consequence of What Its Like in the fandom, especially to people who havent been around forever. and if you don't like a popular blogger youre kinda fucked bc they're everywhere- like can u imagine if there were Multiple clones of isa in the jse fandom, and they were like. your Only window into updates and shit etc etc? not to compare isa to anybody else. sorry to anybody who feels like theyre being compared to isa even if u dont know who that is. sorry

there's also an age difference in the fanbase And in the content creators. some of my favorite fic writers in the jse fandom are young, but some are also literally in their 30s with children and jobs. meanwhile a significant number of ppl in the dsmp fanbase making art n posting hot takes n stuff are under 17. particularly with tommy, ranboo, etc. and when so many of the streamers themselves are young, it can cause Problems - a lot of the adult ccs are at my college level, peak time for stupid behavior. not to mention,,, when you look at the jse/markiplier fandoms and see a fan being really sexual, its just like, "oh, maybe this is a little weird, but relatively harmless as long as they aren't being invasive about it." when you look into the fandom of a youtuber who isn't even old enough to vote yet, and see a fan being really sexual, it's more of a "holy shit that is predatory and fucking disgusting" moment.

^ continuing off of that, or at least the cc ages, their fame skyrocketed after a much shorter time than a lot of other creators. they did not have a normal adjustment period to being fucking everywhere. i'm not even one of them, and i didn't have a normal adjustment period to seeing them everywhere. older ccs with more professional stuff going on don't make the same mistakes as the newer folks. they know when to step away, too - as much as i wish jack was back on tumblr due to the theory content here, i also get why he's gone and understand that the environment would be Shaken tf up by his return.

having them be such a trend also meant that while the fandom is big, the anti-fandom is just as prevalent. in the jse fandom we have blue and their pals (yikes!), as well as a group of people that have generally negative feelings towards sean but are normal about it. we do not have entire communities dedicated to stalking him for "crit" and the amount of people speculating on his personal relationships have pretty much dwindled. we don't have people casually dropping his address and information about his family every time they meme about him. i can talk about watching jack and mark around ppl ive never met without starting off with a disclaimer! in fact, i frequently have to do the opposite with jack and mark, because their discourse is so Out Of Sight from the majority these days that some people just fucking ignore their friendship with pdp or past transmisogynistic jokes or etc etc etc. literally see ppl calling them "unproblematic kings!" every 2 seconds and gotta be like what the Fuck are you talking about

u also have the fact that the dsmp fandom became Such an ordeal during a really shitty time of fandom discourse in general. while people arent like going batshit insane over steven universe or whatever so much anymore, the moral arguments about fiction right now are hell on earth. it is pedophilia to watch cartoons and abuse apologism to think a character who was mean one time is interesting and if you are personally attached to a character then your feelings can just override canon in theory discussions. literally the worst time for anyone to be in a fandom regarding very morally/politically funky roleplay. as evidence i present whomever the fuck thought up the idea of posting proship discourse on r/dwt2

lastly i am far more invested in the egos as far as hyperfixating goes rather than the actual creators (as much as i love them) and would have zero problem just taking anti and making him My Own Guy (considering ive already basically done that) in the case that jack. idk. killed someone and was promptly cancelled on twitter for murder.

so yeah no. my deepseated hatred of the fandom in general (despite my love for much of the art and the wonderful people ive met) does not extend to all real person fandoms

[heartlesslywhumping]

alright, i’m not sure if you’re the right person to ask about this, but i want to know if you have advice.

i’m a minor who’s an active member of the whump community, and i enjoy reading noncon. i don’t actually like or reblog any of the nsfw posts i consume because i’m very much aware of the repercussions that could bring. i don’t produce or write nsfw myself at all. but even when those kinds of writing pieces tell minors to keep out, a lot of the time, i still read them. i’m really not sure what to do. is it wrong of me to consume that kind of whump? should i stop? apologies if you’re uncomfortable with this, feel free to abstain from answering!

Hi! It’s totally fine to ask me these kinds of questions! Info under the cut for those who don’t want to read about this stuff.

Now all of this  is my personal opinion and I welcome people to disagree with me and/or offer their own opinions. These are simply mine.

I don’t think it’s wrong for you to read noncon stuff so long as you know where the lines are.

It’s important that you are able to separate fiction from reality, know that what’s happening in the story is not at all permissible in real life, and be aware of your own comfort level/potential triggers. If you’re aware of all those things, then I don’t think there’s a problem.

(Also, I’m not going to pretend that teenagers - who are minors - aren’t having sex. If you are, it’s important to know that noncon content isn’t something that’s okay for your partner to do but you CAN and SHOULD have open discussions with your partner if you encounter certain things you’d like to explore. This isn’t that kind of blog so I’m just going to say: be honest and open with your partner, set up boundaries and stick to them religiously, and safe words are good things.)

I got into noncon stuff when I was underage too. I know a lot of people read smut before they’re 18 and in a way, both smut and noncon are similar when it comes to access on the internet.

Now I’m going to explain a common reason writers ask minors not to read or interact with their work. My hope is that a better understanding of that will help you to understand where you fit in.

Much like the real world, these kinds of things come down to consent.  

Warnings and tags are ways to state what’s happening in a piece of media (art, writing, etc) and allow the consumer to make informed choices. If you see those tags/warnings and choose to proceed anyways then you are consenting to consume that piece of media. In this case, you are consenting to read those kinds of stories. It’s why many writers online are irked by people asking them not to write about certain topics. When you choose to follow them, you are consenting to be exposed to certain things.  

Now this is where things get tricky because minors can’t give consent. But this is a piece of writing, not something in real life or something physical. So in this situation “consent” is more of the dictionary use and less of the modern use. It’s giving permission. Essentially a reader is telling the website “Yes. I give you permission to show me this.” Now, in this context, permission comes down to understanding.

Writers can’t control what level of education a reader has or what their comfort level is, we can only do our best with tags and warnings. Most writers warn minors away so that those with less education/understanding of certain topics stay away.

If you’re say, 16, then you’re a minor but you also have a level of education/understanding regarding mature topics. That’s very different from someone who’s say, 10, encountering those topics. ESPECIALLY regarding noncon.

Now I don’t know how old you are (and you shouldn’t disclose that information online nor am I asking you to) but I’m assuming you have a level of education/understanding where you’re not going to be confused or traumatized by consuming that kind of writing.

No one can truly police the internet so it’s up to you (and anyone on the internet) to take care of themselves.

For you personally, I think that if you know what you’re getting into, then it’s fine to read that stuff. Just be aware of your comfort level. It’s 100% okay to close out a story or step away. That’s WHY there are trigger warnings and tags.

What I’ve found is that most writers that warn minors away are just trying to keep children safe. There are a lot of little kids on the internet. I knew people who were on Instagram and Pinterest when they were 10 years old and had simply lied about their age. Now Instagram/Pinterest are a little different than say, Tumblr/DevianArt. You’re far more likely to run into mature content on tumblr, devianart, fanfiction sites, etc. Still, there are younger kids accessing sites more likely to host mature content. So creators stick up a bunch of flashing red signs telling minors to stay away because YOU WILL NOT LIKE WHAT YOU SEE. THIS IS NOT FOR YOU. No one wants a ten year old accessing their mature content.

For writers that tag “minors don’t interact”, it’s much the same. Everyone is trying their best not to traumatize ten year olds. For group chats/discords that ask minors not to interact, it’s often because adults are uncomfortable discussing mature content with minors. Even if that minor is 16/17 and well aware of mature content. It also can be dangerous to discuss these things with minors as you don’t know their age online (and again, no minor should disclose their age online) and no adult should be discussing these kinds of things with kids unless they’re a parent, teacher, counselor, etc.

My advice to you (and anyone in the whump community) is to mind the tags. Block tags you don’t want to see and consider everything to be exactly what it says it is. For example, I don’t like eye horror. If something is tagged with eye horror, I don’t read any further than that. Could it be something I could handle or skip over? Potentially. But I don’t want to take that risk.

Do you know the tag on Ao3 “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat?”. If not, it boils down to “this is exactly what it says on the label. I’m not kidding. Mind these tags. I’m not playing around here. What you see is what you get”. Treat everything as though it’s Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.

If you don’t know what something is, Google is your friend.

In all, no one can stop you from reading their work and usually, they’re just trying to protect you. You’ve already accessed this stuff so you have at least a base level awareness of what you’re getting into. Help writers protect you by knowing your own boundaries and minding the tags.

Be aware, be responsible, and don’t try to engage in mature discussions online until you’re 18.

As long as you’re comfortable, you’re fine reading this stuff.

I hope that helped! Feel free to reach out again if you have more questions/concerns!

[struwwelzeter]

For a variety of reasons, I got into a bit of a rabbit hole about Richard's guitars, and my brain went "oh I know someone who will probably have opinions on this" so essentially, if you feel like it, pretty please talk RZK guitars to me? Favourite? Retired one that needs to come back? (Though I probably already know the answer, that fancy black one?)

Allrighty, buckle up because this is gonna be long. After much consideration I have decided to split it up in two parts because I don’t think I can make it fit into one post that is still vaguely tumblr appropriate, and I really wanted to do it some sort of justice. I still feel like I don’t. But oh well. Full disclaimer, I am NOT a guitarist, but I lived with a few, two of my best friends are pro players and I’m a sponge so I kind of soaked some bits and pieces up over the last 15 years. But in case any lost guitar hero finds this and disagrees with me over the finer points of tone wood: I know honey, I oversimplified, and I am wrong. I tried? 💜 for easier read I formatted everything specific to Richard’s guitars normally and anything general about electric guitars in cursive.

My main sources besides watching about a 100 a month of guitar tube videos (that is youtube for guitarists) with my ex, my main sources will be this interview and this.

Richard Z. Kruspe (of Rammstein and Emigrate)’s Guitars - In Order of Appearance, Part 1/2

Diamant (Les Paul Style)

“I traded the acoustic for a guitar called Diamant, which was like a Les Paul version in East Germany.” - RZK

Now I’m skipping the acoustic he started out with, because it’s basically impossible to know what that was, and go straight into the electric. Now presumably, it would have been something like this, a soviet build Les Paul rip off. The irony is that these still go for several thousands up on reverb today for being historical and collectors pieces. The thing is, that while anything east build might have used cheaper materials, I would assume this thing isn’t worse than any of the beginner/intermediate models sold today, if not better, and kids all over the world do decent stiff with those.

Something general about electric guitars is that you don’t really so much play the guitar, you play an entire system. The instrument doesn’t make the sound, it only influences it. You play a guitar - but you even more so play the amp. Which makes this a bit tricky, because an e-guitar is a slab of wood and a copper coil, and amps are way more complex. You can make the exact same guitar sound so many ways. Still - there are tendencies. The fact how and why and to which degree the shape and wood of a solid body (a guitar without a hollow wood piece) influences the sound is highly debated and can get a bit esoteric sounding to sane people non-guitarists, but there are some differences in how the general set up and build of the guitar changes things, and tendencies how they are traditionally outfitted. Les Paul style guitars are normally humbucker guitars, Stratocasters and Telecasters normally are outfitted with single coils. Usually a guitarist can switch - between using the bridge, the neck, or both (or more) pick ups and depending on where the pick up is located they pick up different frequencies, different aspects of the sound. Humbuckers produce a richer, deeper or fuller sound than single coils. Very roughly speaking, think the Stones vs. Metallica.

Fender Stratocaster

“Then in East Germany, we had this imagination to get one of the great guitars, to me it was always the Fender Stratocaster because it was the Jimi Hendrix guitar. I didn’t know anything about pickups or humbuckers or whatever. So there was this guy that I met in a café in my old hometown and he was buying all these books because he could get all the books out through customs and he would store them in my apartment. So we became kind of acquainted. He would come over and pick up the books. So one time he came over and I asked him if he could get me a guitar and bring it over. In East Germany, if you exchange money from East to West it would be like 1 East mark and 20 West mark. SO everything I had, I changed it to West Mark and I gave him the money and I gave him the money and asked him to please buy me a Fender Stratocaster. I gave him the money and I didn’t hear anything for like three months, nothing. I wasn’t able to call because we didn’t have phones and stuff like that – it was a different time. So I thought fuck, I gave him 1400 west mark and now he’s gone and never coming back. [...] Then my imagination was so high, I thought the guitar would just play by itself and I wouldn’t really have to do anything, which I found out was bullshit. I was really happy that I had the guitar but it wasn’t really the sound that I had in mind.” - RZK

The first time I heard that story, I literally went “no, no, no, don’t be stupid, don’t give him your money, you won’t even like that guitar, stupid, lost dumbass.” I can not, for the life of me, imagine him play anything other than humbuckers. He apparently does use single coils for some things today again in the studio, but still, it’s so obviously wrong. He did play one again sometime during the late 90s, but I couldn’t find anything on the pick ups he used with that, but can hardly imagine he kept the original, unless he needed it for a specific sound maybe in one or two songs. I get it though. For many, many people the Fender Stratocaster is THE guitar. Jimi Hendrix is the main reason for that, but it’s also the countless idols that picked it up after him for the same reason, people who ended up plastered on the walls of angsty teenagers in their own right. This totally has to do with the whole amp thing aswell. You see your idol play that type of guitar ... but it’s not even half of the sound, and it won’t sound the same. Maybe probably they changed the pick ups, they have an effect rig, the spend hours fiddling with the knobs on an amp you can never afford. It’s never the same. Which is why ...

Fender Telecaster Black Gold

Then I had a guitar that I was very fond of. It was an older black and gold telecaster – there weren’t very many of them made at that point. I put a Seymour Duncan Jeff Beck SH-4 in there, like a humbucker. I remember it was like my beauty guitar and I needed someone to put that pickup in and I was with Paul and he had more experience with that stuff than me so he would get out a hammer and a chisel and he start banging away on it and I was like ‘Fuck! Fuck! Don’t do that!’ but we put the thing in there and it was one of my favorite guitars” - RZK

... this one first didn’t really make sense for me for him. It’s even more a classic single coil guitar than the Strat is, and it only really started making sense for me when I learned he Paul indeed put a Humbucker in there. It’s a stunningly beautiful guitar, and weirdly non-modern for him. I don’t know why and this is completely instinctual on my part, but I find it fitting he played it during that time after the wall came down, which seems to have been a rough time for him generally, it seems like a somehow super emotional guitar, this relic. Telecasters were some of the first electrics ever build, it’s such a pioneer, but it’s also one that alot of punk bands used, possibly because they were old and cheap in the 70s and noisy and people customized it and put other pick ups in. The whole putting a chisel to it and adding a humbucker into it is such a “I’m gonna make whatever I have fit for me, and I’ll love it” move. If you look at it, a double coil pick up is really something you have to force to go in there, you really have to break it open. There is also this:

“... and then I think I had to sell it because I needed drugs or something. I was really sad that I sold it because I was at a very low point in my life.” - RZK

If I would get the chance to do one thing only for him to thank him for his music, I would go back in time to that Richard who is just sad about selling that guitar and hug him, and tell him he doesn’t need to worry, because they will name guitars after him in the future. It breaks my heart so fucking much. But of course, it’s what opens the doors to what happens next, which is ...

ESP 901

“That led me to my very first convention in Frankfurt. With guitars, it is like with women, you have to fall in love. Sometimes you get a guitar and you fall in love later but there has to be some sort of connection with it. So I was walking around that convention and I saw that guitar hanging at the ESP stand. It was a 901 ESP Sunburst and I was looking at it because it was such a beauty. And I was walking around for hours – they probably thought I was some weird guy who wants to steal the guitar. I bought that guitar and that’s how I got connected with ESP.” -RZK

He might have fallen for it because it is pretty, but it did come with a ESP double humbucker set up, with an added condensator to muffle up the sound, although not yet an active one (more on that later). It was a 90s metal guitar, one of those things marketed to the Metallica generation, something loud and heavy and full. Also, and this is where I will put in another general insert, there is something else about the choice of electric guitars that we haven’t talked about yet.

Now, I’ve discussed that you can push or pull the sound of a electric quite far in one or the other direction with what pick ups you use, what effects, what amps. But what this ignores is that especially standing up a guitar is a really shitty asymmetrical piece of equipment. And what that does to your body is that it needs to fit you, your hands, and your playing style. Some people prefer it chunky, others like sender. Guitarists, especially the 80s shredders, like to talk about a “fast neck”, which is another one of those things that get slightly esoteric, but which usually means a slimmer neck and slightly bigger frets, that need less way for your fingers to press until the string gets stopped. Someone who plays very bendy blues might dislike that and prefer something to dig in their fingers more down to the fretboard to get more control over how they bend the string. There are different neck profiles, there are different neck lengths, and all of it contributes to how comfortable someone might find their guitar.

I am mentioning this, because until today, Richard’s guitars are build very similarly to that ESP 901. His Eclipse Model is a tad different (again, more on that later), but the one he uses the most, the RZK I, has the same neck scale, similar frets, and that comfortable ESP slender neck. Even the shape seems to be inspired by turning it upside down. He has said in interviews that he hasn’t got very strong hands, and it makes perfect sense to me. I bought my own electric (again, more on that later) purely because I wanted to own one and not even so much because I ever had any real ambitions of learning to play it, but my friends at the time (10 years ago now) forced me to try out alot (!) of models (despite me knowing what I wanted), and the only guitars that I tried that had slimmer necks were Ibanez guitars, which in turn were wider. Ironically Frankfurt is my hometown, so the place to try a lot of different models is That exact convention Richard went to, and I haven’t skipped a Musikmesse in the last 15 years. I was at atleast one were Richard was too (I just didn’t care at the time, yikes), and it somehow greatly pleases me he found “his” guitar at that particular convention. Things have changed in recent years, but electric guitars always were in Hall 4.01, with ESP being left of center in the middle, and I don’t know, I can just see him walking in circles around it, and it makes me so emotional for him because it’s what musicians do at that place. It’s really loud, everyone is playing, there is someone better noodling around at every corner, and it can be quite an intimidating setting I think. And every year you see that one kid coming back and back again to that same stand, staring at that one guitar until they finally work up the nerve and ask to try it (or the staff takes pity on them and offer). And it’s the same everytime, they think “oh god they must think I am crazy” but really, nobody does. Everyone in that hall who owns a heart knows what those dreams are made of, and all it maybe does inspire is a “oh god, I hope that one makes it”. I digress. I think it’s more common now to look for different neck styles and companies started caring about it, but especially coming from Fender and Gibson guitars, that neck is honestly just very, very nice for weaker hands.

This is where I will stop, because it makes a good moment for a break and this post is honestly getting too out of hand otherwise. There will be a part 2 - where Richard starts using active pick ups, starts playing my favorite guitar in the whole wide world (and stops playing it), and finally, set up his own signature.

This is him with that 901 though: when he must have had it pretty much brandnew, while he used it, and right before he sold it.

[chibimyumi]

in my country musicals arent really big, we usually see aspiring or struggling rookie actors/actress do them, is it different in japan? are a-list actors casted in musicals? would u consider the past kuromyu to have been successful considering its getting another one?

Dear Anon,

In Japan musicals are still considered niche, but perhaps less niche than in other countries. There are many theatres in Japan, and every single month there is announcement of multiple musicals staged in theatres of all ranks and sizes. But compared to anime/manga or movies, theatre is still a less popular medium.

Musicals in Japan

There are quite some theatre companies of all sizes in Japan, and they all have their own fanbases. But if we are talking about A-rank theatre, then there are two prestigious theatre companies: TOHO stage (owner of the Imperial Theatre and affiliated with the Ministry of Culture) and Takarazuka Revue owned by Hankyu Railway, THE railway company in Japan. TOHO stage and Takarazuka however, ultimately belong to the same parent company, TOHO Co., Ltd., making them essentially sibling companies. So this parent company basically has the ‘monopoly’ of elite theatre in Japan. Officially, the top tier actors affiliated with these two companies are recognised as the A-list actors in Japan.

GENERALLY speaking TOHO and Takarazuka have little to do with 2.5D. The Takarazuka Revue is an all-woman theatre, and most 2.5D are pretty male-cast heavy. Besides, Takarazuka does not “lend” their actresses to other stage performances. TOHO also generally does not lend their affiliated actors to 2.5D except if they as a company have a hand in the production itself, like with Kuromyu 2016 and 2018. Besides, TOHO stage is as of now the ONLY Japanese theatre company that pays all its employees also for rehearsal time. (In Takarazuka only the few top tiered actresses get full compensation; lower tiered ones are in great part dependent on family support). So if one is allowed chance to work for TOHO, most actors would not be too tempted to work for a rehearsal-pay-less production unless they just love the production itself.

Is Kuromyu a Success?

Not all past Kuromyus were a success, but the reception has gradually grown over the years. According to the August 30th 2016 broadcast of Academy Night G, the tipping point of 2.5D as a whole was in 2011, and in 2015 it saw a dramatic climb in popularity in Japan.

According to Academy Night G’s data, Kuromyu 2015 (Lycoris that Blazes the Earth rerun) was the main contributor to the success of its genre as one of the very few 2.5D productions to not just have oversea performances, but an actual overseas tour. In 2015, Kuromyu visited three Chinese cities, Shanghai, Beijing, and Shenzhen.

Ever since 2015, all Kuromyu tickets have been completely sold out almost immediately. For Kuromyu 2018 they even had to arrange for make-shift seats and spots for stand-viewing.

A much credited factor to this enormous success was TOHO company’s support of Tango on the Campania and the aggressive marketing of: “starring the Imperial Theatre’s pride, first tier star Furuakwa Yuta as the title role!”

Demographic Shift Kuromyu

As for Kuromyu 2021, I myself don’t know how this production may or may not reflect Kuromyu’s success for multiple reasons. But to summarise, it is because regardless of what is going to happen, from 2021 on Kuromyu will have to take a different course than before.

Why does Kuromyu from 2021 on need to take a different course?

Though I reasoned wrongly about Kuro Potter being the least likely candidate for a new Kuromyu, I still stand my point that marketing-wise it is just a pretty poor choice. And indeed, while fans of Kuroshitsuji itself are overall quite happy about there being a Kuromyu at all, some concerns were also voiced. TOHO has apparently retracted their support for the production, and now the question is just how well MKP by itself can live up to the expectations of audiences who have gotten used to TOHO-supported budget production.

Something that must be remembered is that theatre fans and 2.5D fans can overlap, but are NOT necessarily the same. Some 2.5D fans only like their specific 2.5D because it has the association with their favourite 2D work, but don’t care about theatre in general. Some theatre fans only watch a 2.5D because it happens to star their favourite star, but would never touch any other 2.5D work. Then there is also the specific “elite theatre fan” sub-demographic, which is the group Kuromyu has drawn in since 2016... and that is also where it gets a bit tricky.

By so explicitly marketing Kuromyu as a bridge between 2.5D and “elite theatre” through “the most elite theatre’s” cow, the demographics of Kuromyu saw a clear shift from “2D/Kuroshitsuji fans only” to “including elite theatre-goers”.

2.5D has long had the (undue) reputation of “theatre just to please children and geeks”, and was viewed as “inferiour, amateurish” by the theatre-goers and elite theatre-goers. Especially the TOHO fans did so because - objectively - 2.5D is such a poor industry it cannot even afford to pay its employees for their rehearsal work. And unlike TOHO, 2.5D often stars younger and less experienced actors who are building their career through 2.5D. That is the reason many 2.5D actors tolerate the no-pay work because they can benefit from 2D’s popularity to expand their own name. TOHO in contrast, is a very elitist company and usually only casts actors who have already built their career.

Now that Kuromyu has zero TOHO affiliated performers and seemingly no TOHO support, the normal theatre fan demographic might shift away from Kuromyu, and most elite theatre fans have already shown disinterest.

This in effect means that Kuromyu that gained “semi-elite status” is now back to “normal 2.5D”. This does NOT mean that it is bad; it just means that the demographic of audiences will shift again. That in turn means that the marketing strategy will need to change. Kuromyu won the reputation of the production that got 2.5D into elite theatre culture discourse**, and now it is out of it again. (**I know that “discourse” became “discussion” or “controversy” on Tumblr, but the word actually just means “conversation”. ANYTHING people talk about is discourse.)

Even if we do not count in the (elite) theatre fans that were a very important group of later Kuromyus, fans of Kuromyu itself have surely gotten used to the higher budget. Some fans here on Tumblr have also voiced: “I can’t go back to bad quality again”. So, what will MKP now do to live up to the "elite” high bar TOHO had (helped?) set for Kuromyu?

Change marketing strategy, change M.O.

From what I have seen on the Japanese side, the marketing is now indeed more focused on and also resonates better with J-pop and 2.5D fans specifically. KMP has made no attempts to market Kuromyu to (elite) theatre fans anymore.

Conclusion

So can Kuromyu 2021 reflect the success of Kuromyu in general? That is hard to say, because their strategy has already diverted from when Kuromyu reached unprecedented “elite” status. I think if anything, it mostly reflects Kuroshitsuji’s success.

[nemrut]

Epic 7 Collab

So, this was posted on reddit an hour ago:

Link to the reddit thread

So, obviously, we don't really know anything here. This could be real, this could be fake, this could be a fakeout by SG, this image could be a fake but the collab itself could still be real etc. There are a lot of options.

Just gonna address a few things that came to my mind there.

For one, while I can definitely make out Mami's rather distinctive silhouette what with her curly hair, I have to say, the other two are less clear. Don't get me wrong, the color coding and general shape of the models hints that if these are PMMM characters, those two are Madoka and Homura respectively.

And yeah, Madoka and Homura would also be the no-brainer options in any PMMM collaboration, being the two most important and most prominent characters of the series.

But I am open to the idea of this being a fake-out because while the second character who may or may not be Homura is a bit unclear, the one who is supposed to be Madoka doesn't really look like any of her known models so far. It is not goddess Madoka due to the lack of wings, it doesn't seem to be normal magical girl Madoka what with the lack of twin tails, and she seems to be wearing a hat, I think. So, of course, it could be the case that Madoka and the others just got different costumes or designs, but it just seems weird for the main character to get a different costume. I would assume the PMMM people would want their characters to be as recognizable as possible.

Someone in the reddit thread said that this is fake because these were models taken from Magia Record, but I looked at the character models on the wiki and I have to say, none of Homura's or Madoka's models would really fit here, so I can't really agree with that? Unless I am overlooking something, of course, that is possible. The lack of corresponding models in Magia Record, the PMMM gacha, kinda raises the possibility of it being real.

So no idea if this is real or not. Leaning more towards fake myself atm, but kinda hoping it is real. I would have much preferred Hololive but honestly, I will take PMMM over most of the other anime that were a possibility like a shitty isekei or god forbid the Walkind Dead series which I was fearing for ever since I saw that Stranger Things had a collab with that 7 deadly sins gacha game.

New Madoka movie coming out alongside this is pretty neat, although i don't know how helpful that would be to PMMM as a brand, what with epic 7 not having the largest audience to my knowledge. I like the game, don't get me wrong, even though it is still operating under the shitty gacha system with all of its shortcomings and bad practices, but as far as reaching a large audience goes, it is no Fortnite.

Happy for more PMMM stuff regardless, even though I am not super looking forward to the tumblr discussions as there seem to be a lot of people who have made complaining about PMMM a part of their personality.

Assuming it is real, Homura, Madoka and Mami could be fun. Don't really understand why Mami was picked but guess it was just who they wanted since the justification for any of the three is basically the same.

As to classes, well, there are options. Ironically, the two missing girls would the easiest to sort into the epic 7 class system. Kyokou would be a fire warrior, while Sayaka would be a water knight. Mami would almost certainly be a ranger, but not sure about the element. Guess earth would be the one left, although I don't think it necessarily fits best but better than the others?

Madoka and Homura slot neatly under Light and Dark respectively, although that would be weird with the summoning system, but maybe they could make a special case for the collab where we can summon them with normal bookmarks instead of moonlight bookmarks? As for their classes, things get tricky there. They both use ranged weapons, so I guess if Madoka fights with her bow, she could also be a ranger. Homura using guns also fits for ranger but having an all three collab units be ranger would be weird. Homura could also work as a thief, I guess, or a mage. Madoka could also easily be a soul weaver, or a mage as well, so there is a lot of leeway which is not present with the other girls.

Ability wise, Mami would probably have three active skills with Tiro Finale being her S3 finisher move which does a lot of dmg. Her S2 might be an aoe with a stun chance or CR manipulation or both. S1 would just be your usual single target attack.

Homura probably would have a single target S3, but I could see her having a passive S2 with her time-stop shenanigans. Mayhe allows her whole team to have a huge CR boost every two turns when a condition is met? Or stuns the enemies, stopping time for them or something like that.

No idea about Madoka, She could both be a dmg dealer, what with being canonically the strongest magical girl who can oneshot Walpurgisnacht but also being a kind protector of magical girls, so I could also see a self sacrificial and protective S3.

There are a lot of options and obviously, this could still be fake (is most likely a fake)

Hoping it is real, though.

[druidx]

WIP Whenever

It’s been a few months since I did one of these, and now I’ve picked writing back up, I figured I should shout into the void about it. (I may go back to doing a weekly/ fortnightly update. Regular content? On this blog? Perhaps XD)

Active WIPs

The Ruby Falls (TESIV:Oblivion, Modern AU) Status: Drafting/ Rewriting

This is my modern-day version of the Oblivion Main Quest. I decided to change the name of this fic From Haven’s Ember to The Ruby Falls, as I felt it fit better, but I still like Haven’s Ember, so I’ve kept that as the overarching Series name. I’ve got the first draft half finished (thanks to NaNoWriMo), but because I’m an odd person, I’ve started re-writing the first few chapters so they’re less terrible. 

How’s it going? Hmm. Yeah. Slowly, but it is going. I’ve hit that annoying middle stage where doubt is starting to creep in, which is why I went back and started to revise the first sections. I want to publish a few chapters, to get a gauge on interest.

Insomnia (TESIV:Oblivion, Modern AU) Status: Revising

This is a drabble set after the events of Haven’s Ember, in which Martin is having trouble sleeping. It’s a bit of an empty fluff piece, but cute. 

How’s it going? Tricky. There’s something off about it that I can’t quite put my finger on, and it’s annoying the heck out of me ^.^;

Strawberry Fizz (TESIV:Oblivion, Modern AU) Status: Idea

Another fluffy drabble about Martin and Baurus, heart-shaped strawberry bundt cakes, idyllic summer days, cute cottages in the English countryside, and rose gardens.

How's it going? I haven’t actually started on this one, but it’s rattling around my subconscious, building up vibes and momentum.

Elowyn Investigations (Fighting Fantasy World of Titan) Status: Revising

Elowyn and Farren are tasked to investigate what seems to be a simple burglary. But as their investigation progresses, they uncover troubling signs that point towards an attempt on the lives of the Triumvirate Council. This is a past NaNoWriMo novel, set prior to our D&D campaign, where we first get a hint of the Paladin that Elowyn will become.

How’s it going? Ugh. Doubt. So much doubt. I was working through publishing my back-catalog of FF/Titan fics on AO3. Most of them are short stories, nice and easy to edit. But this is 60k, and needs so much work. My main issue is I’m still not sure the overall plot makes sense, considering that I wrote the first draft on the fly, with no planning, in 7 days. I’m thinking this one needs a reverse outline, just to jiggle some parts around.

In Case You Missed It

Here’s some works I’ve published recently:

Marble Tombs (TESIV:Oblivion, Modern AU), Tumblr ~ AO3 :: A study of how it feels to walk through the Ayleid ruins of Cyrodiil

Night Will Fall and Drown The Sun (TESIV:Oblivion, Modern AU), Tumblr ~ AO3 :: Martin is still in a coma. Jauffre is not holding up too well.

Querencia and Monochopsis (Fighting Fantasy World of Titan), Tumblr ~ AO3 :: Alexis and Selene discuss the places they feel most like themselves.

Si Quis Mihi (Fighting Fantasy World of Titan), Tumblr ~ AO3 :: In which Elowyn writes a letter of apology to her Aunt Selene for a particular set of in-game circumstances.

[nametags]

But her emails...

I aim to be a woman of integrity. I’ve sat on the content I’m about to share for almost 6 years in part because it originally was a private conversation between me and a friend. A friend who happens to be a lead singer of a band, but a friend none the less. However the way people have been speaking about him and what’s been going on in the world lately, I couldn’t let this stay hidden anymore.

I’m tired of people claiming that because Patrick no longer uses social media (and hasn’t for damn near five years at this point) that somehow he doesn’t “care” or isn’t doing anything right now to help the Black Lives Matter movement. I’m also incredibly tired of people ignoring/belittling the fact that Pete Wentz is a biracial/black man in America. You really do not want the social media person in charge of Patrick’s account tweeting things out. It would be hollow and fake.

Below is both a transcript of the conversation I had with Patrick on 12/06/2014, a follow up message he sent to me 08/25/2015, and the accompanying screenshots. Unfortunately I do not have the tweet(s) that prompted me to contact him in the first place nor can I find screenshots of them to provide that context. An image of me and my younger brother Jacob when we met the band at Boys of Zummer will also be attached to demonstrate one of the people I was concerned about in my original email. 

The only redactions made were my personal email address and the name of a friend I referenced. Patrick deleted his email account at some point between late 2016 and early 2017. It’s only left in these screenshots as proof for those who knew the address before to see these were legitimate messages. I hope the content reveals not only where his heart lies not only then but where it is now. 

Allison White: So I caught the insanity way late, but it's a tricky spot to be in with what's going on. For most of my life, I didn't even identify with half of my race. I was raised with my mom's side of the family and it just didn't click for me. It really hasn't been until teen years and onward that I've opened my eyes to it all. And with that, I began to grow wary of authority in a way. Like I still believe that people go into law enforcement for the right reasons. The few times I have dealt with police officers personally I haven't been concerned, but I have noticed in the past few years that when I spot a police car on the road or an officer just out in public somewhere is if I look "white enough" or do I actually look like an adult who belongs in whatever space I am in. I know Trayvon Martin was murdered by a vigilante and not an actual officer of the law, but that was when I first started to fear for my little brothers. I knew both of them were the sort of young men that could get targeted and most likely justice would not be found for them. And then there comes this summer. With both the Mike Brown and Eric Garner cases coming back with no indictment, it makes it feel as if it's just open season for black people to be hunted by cops. Which is hurtful for the cops who are actually in it to protect and serve, and every citizen who now has to wonder if they are next. I hope that your cousin is doing alright. I hope that people aren't making his job harder right now. Just I know for me right now with all that's going on I am definitely on the side of the protesters.

Patrick Stump: Brief for now; I'm sorry in all that you didn't notice that I'm squarely on the side of the protestors too. That's a failure of my wording

PS: The problem is that I so poorly expressed myself, people thought I was balancing the empathy to be spread across the black community and cops. That's a mistake on my part. I'm angry.

I'm angry that Mike Brown's case didn't yield enough evidence to indict. But that case was a very complicated one...Brown had just (allegedly) committed a violent crime and information was murky. As sure as I was that Wilson straight up murdered the Brown, I understood the limitations of the american Justice system given how little evidence there was. That's the unfortunate reality of justice is that it needs to be just. It needs to be 100%. We can't go in with "I know in my heart." And so that case pissed me off, but I understood it. 

With Eric Garner however, this just feels so flagrant. By no accounts was he violent, wasn't he doing anything that could even be misconstrued as life-threatening enough to even imagine defending the usage of deadly force. He was cooperating and they choked him to death on camera. That's fucked up. I'm pissed. I tried to be polite and sit back and not say anything, but I'm pissed.

However, my reason for discussing the side of the police as well is that human beings are complicated. When we boil people down to simplistic stereotypes, when we create a narrative of "Us VS them," we lose sight of the humanity of it all. You can't reason with a "Them." You can only reason with a person and it works better when you remember they're people.

I don't believe in enemies. I'm not religious but I love the way Jesus preached "Love thy enemy." That's hugely influential to me. Hugely important. That's the empathy I mean.

The other night I was holding my son and I thought to myself about a black girl I used to date. And how, we could have had a kid together. Maybe a little boy. And how, that boy could (by no action of his own) be killed just for the color of his skin. Like, I've heard and read words like that before, but to actually connect with it (on as small a scale as that) was horrifying. Gutting. For a little moment I thought, all this joy and all this beauty and somewhere, someone's having a black baby boy, loving him and feeling all the same things I feel for my son. But I wondered if in between their tired diaper changes and their burpings, if they were saying a silent prayer "I hope you don't get killed by a cop." If they say it constantly because they know how possible it is. Or even if he lives to be a 100, what black man won't have an unjust run in with the law? Not to make it exclusively a male issue but seriously, how many black men are in prison right now in America? That's a disgusting thing. The young parent of a young black boy probably considers that and that's maybe the most depressing thing I've ever tried to understood. That's a horrifying thing. There really still is a racial divide in this country, and to not be black is to not say those little prayers. We live in a supposedly free country. What about the pursuit of happiness? Who's defending the right of that little black baby boy born somewhere in America to just be an adorable little baby without any pretense? And when that baby grows up, who's defending his right to walk down a residential sidewalk and not expect to get pulled over and frisked? Maybe worse? 

So I'm angry. Just plain angry. But I didn't want to offend anyone so I expressed my anger in the lightest way I could think of. 

I'm not sorry for having an opinion, I'm sorry I explained it so poorly that you didn't know what it was.

AW: All of this is hard, and there is so much anger. You shouldn't ever be sorry for your opinions, and I am pretty sure you yourself have told people only be sorry for how you express your opinions. I wasn't upset with you or what you said, I just felt compelled to share that for me there's a knee jerk reaction to the image/idea of police and why.  This whole situation has been tough and it's been inspiring watching people across this country let their anger show and demonstrate in the streets against it. It makes me wish I was brave enough to take part in it out in the streets and not just online. 

I hope this collective anger and protest leads to real change. That in 2014 we are able to do the things they were aiming for in 1964. I mean recently the full letter the FBI sent to MLK to urge him into suicide was released and it just highlights the divide between how much has and has not changed. There's a lot of value in what religion is supposed to teach. Love thy enemy, love thy neighbor. True love and care for those around you is a great thing and certainly something I'd hope people identified with. 

The past nearly seven years there has been this push for hope and change. Maybe the country is finally reaching a point to make it happen?

PS: I have a funny feeling this is civil rights part 2. I'm proud of the protests. I'm so grateful our generation is angry about something it should be angry about for a change.

AW: An argument can be made that our generation (or just post baby boomer generations in general) have been taught and fed nonsense to keep us compliant, but that veers into a territory that I am not completely sure or comfortable with. Overall I do think that this is heading a direction that the powers that be are not ready for in the slightest.

PS: Where did I go wrong? What do people think I said? They're so mad at me, and none of the people have said anything I didn't mean. I'm not getting angry right-wing stuff, people are just calling me a racist. What did I say that was racist? What do I think that's racist?

AW: There's a strong immediate reaction right now of if you sound slightly in favor of the officers that did wrong that you are racist. The swift reaction and need to dogpile on is kind of crazy. I think people took the initial comment to mean "not all cops!!!!" In the same vein as "not all men!!!" and that's where the rage is coming from. 

AW: Just to be clear, those who matter know you're not racist. You have shown both in your words and actions where your beliefs lie. I don't know how to calm the masses right now because at least for the time being its not going to get through :(

AW: You could try a blog entry on tumblr?

PS: Nah, I think I've done enough damage for one lifetime. I think I'll keep it to myself but I appreciate your talking it through with me. 

AW: No problem. I am always willing to be a sounding board for that stuff if you need it.

PS: I re-read my stuff; "I support our police," is the worst things said. I meant "I support the idea of police and the need for a police force we can trust on a national level," not "I support the police in NYC who are killing people and attacking protestors." That sucks.

AW: If you wanna try to clarify now you can. At least in your Google alert it only had one mention of he mess and it was a tumblr user supporting/defending you. 

PS: There's no fixing it. The Internet is unforgiving I think and the reality is, I said that. I didn't mean it in the way that it so obviously sounds, but I said that. So I deserve everything I get.

AW: It will most likely go easier if you let it ride out instead of trying to go out and fight it. That just gives the "he doth protest too much" air about it. Hopefully the energy behind letting you know you said something like that will dissipate sooner rather than later. And that it won't get big enough for someone to write a story about it. 

PS: Yeah. It'll sound like back-pedaling and glad-handing. Anyway, thanks for talking it through! 

AW: You're very welcome! Thank you for hearing out my side of it this morning.

PS:  I never would've ignored your side.

AW: Which is very much appreciated

AW: I say that because in the past two weeks I have lost a handful of friends because of all of what's going on and them being unable to understand how and why their words hurt me.

PS: Well that's awful and unfair

AW: It was but they were all from the "when I look at you I don't see black, I just see Ally" camp and then would go on to say things about stereotypes and "thugs"

PS: Yeah. Thug. "Oh that's so ghetto." Bullshit.

AW: When someone says "thug" it's always clear they wanna say the n word

PS: Or even if they're the kind of "Well meaning," person who knows enough not to say that word, they mean the same thing

PS: "Not like you. You're good"

PS: White America just needs to know what it doesn't know

PS: Or rather, understand that there are things they (we) will never understand. Not from a first person perspective.

AW: It always makes me want to scream. The erasure of identity so then the people known to them stay safe. It reminds me of something I witnessed the other day. My friend [REDACTED] from junior high is now an established lawyer. Needless to say he has been keeping up very much with the recent events. He made a post about it and one of his friends commented with "I wish you would go back to being my friend [REDACTED] and not my black friend [REDACTED]." Mind you there's no denying [REDACTED] is a black man. He can't pass in the slightest so the comment shocked and saddened me. Thankfully [REDACTED] handled it with poise and grace. 

PS: If you have to say you have a "black friend," then you probably don't. That's fucked. I guess I just genuinely didn't imagine how pervasive this stuff really is. Like, Pete and Joe and I have been talking a lot today. I was under the misapprehension that we grew up in a decently inclusive area. Just come to find out, nobody used those words around me. The whole time they were heckling kids like Joe and Pete. I thought racism was this thing that doesn't happen here. It's scary how much it's come out post Obama's election. Elected officials sending out mass e-mails of pictures of watermelons. I just didn't get it. Ignorance is bliss.

AW: It knows how to hide in plain sight, which is a lot of the problem. People are taught "don't be racist!!!!" Without being told exactly what racism is. People (myself included at times) aren't aware of words/phrases/ideas have nefarious ties until too late. 

PS: I think we get too caught up on words and not enough on what they imply. "Thug," means a prepackaged idea of a black male. It instantly limits his perceived intelligence, his perceived trustworthiness, his perceived value to society, and his perceived prospects in life. That's so fucked. We expect black men to go to prison. Not be doctors and lawyers. When a black man is a doctor or lawyer, we treat him like such a cool novelty. When a black woman asserts herself, she's so "Sassy." "You go girl." 

These little words and phrases feel harmless. They never were

AW: Those are the positives. Usually assertive black women are angry, mean. It's so fucked all around. 

AW: I really owe Pete for helping me be informed on Ferguson. He tweeted the hashtag the night the protests started in August and it helped me dive in. I am sure tumblr would have got me to it eventually, but seeing it from day one was a definite help. 

PS: You know part of my problem? I'm just not brave enough to say what I think. I'm just scared of offending people. Pete's not. He doesn't care. That's powerful

AW: It takes a lot to just put it out there. I am not sure if I had the amount of eyes on me that you do that I would be so "fuck you I will do/say what I want" as I am. Hell I become such a shadow of myself when at work with how quiet and polite I am. I mean I am still pierced and tatted with short hair so visually I say a lot, but then I watch my speech to make us for it. 

(Follow up on 8/25/2015)

Patrick Stump: That is amazing and I'm very flattered. By the way; Been thinking about our conversation from a year ago a lot. The takeaway is this: Saying "All lives matter," and "Not all cops," while literally true are contextually horrendous. Really awful. In retrospect I feel pretty awful about saying both. Specifically because "All lives matter," can carry a lot of implications. Who's lives? I meant by it that Latinos and Muslims are also unreasonably targeted/mistreated/murdered by cops. But is it as systematic or blatant as it is with darker skinned Americans? Not remotely. Furthermore, as a white man, I just need to remember how fucking easy I have it. It's easy for me to preach peace and unflinching patience when I've NEVER been a victim of the War On Drugs or the aftermath of straight up slavery. So there's a lot to think about in terms of what I, a white guy, have to say and do about the situation. But not a lot I have to say about the way it feels to be oppressed to the point of feeling like less than a citizen of this country. I shouldn't have spoken about it because I don't/can't know. Well-meaning white folks get to talk about policy changes and do everything we can to help, otherwise we should get the fuck out of the way. I'm sorry, really REALLY sorry to the world that I ever said either of those things. It's more than "Fuck the police." It's "Fuck this whole system." And as aware as I'd been, I hadn't realized how complacent in it I was. Anyway, disgusted I said what I said. Sorry to the whole world for being part of the problem