#just took my pill

[teaboot]

On of the less intuitive things about love, I've found, of any kind, is the importance of needing things.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.

It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.

I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.

My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.

Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.

It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.

I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".

Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.

Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.

It's not needy, or selfish, or taking up energy. It's giving the gift of being wanted, and needed, and thought of. It's giving someone the security of being part of someone's life.

[insektika]

Title

hi guys what is up

[jiraisupportgroup]

[sturnfannn]

holy fucking shit my cramps are worse than ever im dying I swear wtf help 🙏

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all I am still working on the goat in a dress but am delayed by a POTS flareup so I will not be working on it more until tomorrow I forgot asparagus is a diuretic. Again. lol

(for anyone reading this with no context for why that matters, I have both POTS and salt wasting syndrome and am on medication that is literally the opposite of a diuretic to help keep my blood pressure up. Eating a bunch of asparagus kind of temporarily undid that effect and I am very tired but fine, and I'll be back to normal in the morning)

[transmechanicus]

Why op so pissed that they had to be mean to me specifically a month later, how tf was i supposed to scry out their roommate’s gender from this? I made an educated guess on the Turning Into A Girl webbed site, sorry i was wrong, shall i commit seppuku with a live grenade in my mouth in penance?

[pkmn-smashorpass]

blaziken will always be special to me cause after I had a car accident, holding onto my tiny blaziken plushie made me feel safe enough to get into a car again, so I'd say Blaziken has already smashed me, in my heart.

YOURE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE ME CRY ON THE POKÉMON SEX BLOG 🥺

[cillyscribbles]

i dont think i can gaslight girlboss garlic myself out of this one lads

[starrysharks]

i used to be a bit conscious about having so many girls/fem characters in my works (starsaints carnival is the only developed story right now that doesn't have a female protagonist, and most of the time i have to actively go out of my way to make male characters) but you know what fuck it i like girls so i'm gonna write girls goddammit!!!

[luminarai]

Started adhd medicine this morning and I was SO nervous… anyway nothing happened lmao

[notdelusionalatall]

[mildmayfoxe]

i feel like shit rn. lol

[xcziel]

literally the only thing really stopping me from planning a flight is that if i go, i'll want to be there a while and i can't fit enough into only one suitcase

from experience, traveling with two suitcases is a pain, but also i need more space than one suitcase it is a dilemma

[averinthine]

oh how i wish i could just be taking the pills that make me joyous all the time... unfortunately the pills that make me joyous are also the pills that make me incredibly drowsy, and sometimes i have things i would like to be able to do without falling over

[tj-crochets]

okay crafting is probably delayed again I possibly overdid it today and had another flareup of Weird Bad but it did not result in Unexpected Floor Time this time so I think I'm getting better?

[odinsblog]

Sometimes I amaze myself at the things I “remember” how to do, at just the right moment when everything is on the line. Things I thought that I never even knew how to do

I am a walking vessel of compartmentalized information. Some of the information is totally useless, and some of the information, if it wasn’t compartmentalized, could probably be connected to other information that could make a nuclear weapon, or an elixir for immortality, or cure cancer, or put together a political algorithm that would solve world peace. But alas, it’s all securely compartmented away from the other bits and pieces of information rolling around in my noggin. It’s probably for the best

(Now watch me never be able to repeat this feat ever again, lol)