#just to be clear im not actually angry about this. just having fun.

[tothelastparade]

heres me being annoyed about something petty: when G wore the officewear looks and I saw like 10 posts talking about ‘his stilettos’.

Those are patent leather t-bar mary janes you fucking muppets. it’s like you don’t even care about properly classifying shoes. they had a fucking Block Heel for crying out loud. and you’re calling them a stiletto? a stiletto????? define what you think a stiletto is for me. quickly.

[widevibratobitch]

so i am singing that vitellia in the end... but at what fucking cost.

'you gotta sing this softer'

'what'

'this is mozart'

'this is vitellia'

'this is mozart'

'im singing about how much i hate this mf and want him dead before the end of the day'

'this is mozart'

'i wanna murder a guy'

'this is mozart'

'...'

'softer. gentle. mozart'

'...ok'

[ouchmyghostskin]

Season 2 predictions regarding payneland:

I've been having thoughts since seeing the cameo where George said that there was a deleted scene post confession/ pre Crystal saying goodbye, where Edwin encouraged Charles to be honest with her about how he feels (which is kinda insane character development compared to episode one??? But good for him). Granted , they deleted it and we don't know why, but I'm going to assume it was for space/time etc. Originally I wasn't really sure if Edwin had picked up on the open-endedness of Charles saying that they had forever to figure it out, though I suspected he hadn't, but I thought that if he *had* that he would most likely wait. But now I think that Edwin probably saw that as "I don't reciprocate but don't worry we'll figure everything out". So I think the likelihood that Edwin might pursue something with someone else in season 2 is a definite possibility. Fully accepting Charles "rejection" and consciously deciding to address his loneliness and desire for romantic/sexual connection, despite his feelings for Charles. And....I suspect it's going to be the cat king. And I suspect that Charles is going to be caught between his interest in Crystal and insane jealousy about Edwin, and it's going to be the catalyst for him realizing that his jealousy is romantic in nature.

There is always the possibility payneland isn't endgame but I'm an optimist 👌

Now for some personal thoughts about the above that has some mildly negative feelings about catwin so if you would rather not read you can scroll now. 👍. Yay for curating your fandom experience!

So I'll be honest, there isn't even a small part of me that ships catwin. I thought the plot line was interesting, and I think the cat king is an interesting character that functions very well as a catalyst. I don't *hate* it and I have absolutely zero negative thoughts about people who enjoy it, just to be clear about that. Ship whatever you want, it's all paper dolls in a sandbox to me. For me personally though, I found the dynamic coercive enough to put me off it entirely as a ship. (For some people that's fun to explore, or ignore, in ships for a wide variety of reasons that I have zero desire to police, so again, I'm not criticizing catwin shippers). Secondarily , I actually don't ship characters all that often, but when I do Im pretty OTP about it, so that's contributing. But if that's the direction they're going in , it makes sense for them to continue with the cat king since it's established that Edwin is attracted to him, and has appeared to forgive him for manipulating him in season 1. So....I'll not be thrilled to see catwin content in season 2? But I can grimace through it if it's not endgame. Also...I've seen whispers that indicate some parts of fandom don't enjoy the jealousy plotline specifically bc they feel jealousy is harmful? I get it if it just doesn't interest you or brings up bad memories, but emotions don't harm others. Being angry or jealous is an almost unavoidable part of the human experience. Only your behavior motivated by those emotions can harm people. So ...I'm ALL for Charles continuing to grapple with emotions like jealousy and anger and coming to terms with realizing they don't make him an abusive person. Even if he handles it imperfectly that's still an interesting flaw, and there's an extremely large sliding scale of behavior between "that's something to work on but you are a great person" and actually harmful/abusive. Yay nuance!

[wzrd-wheezes]

Cat and Mouse - Rockstar!Sirius x Reader Smut

AN - hello! this is the first fic im posting in a little while and what better way to come back than with some sirius smut. I'm a little rusty so please forgive me <3

Includes: cocky, arrogant, somewhat toxic sirius. swearing. unprotected sex. choking. slight degradation and just other general filth.

1.2k words.

smut starts under the cut.

“I knew you’d come tonight.” Sirius drawled, shit-eating grin plastered on his face. He handed his guitar to one of the roadies, his skin glistening with sweat from the bright stage lights and made his way over to her. 

“Didn’t have anything better to do.” Y/N said drily, her arms folded over her chest. She purposely tried not to look at him, letting her gaze drift to his bandmates who were packing away the rest of their equipment.  

“Seems like you never have anything better to do,” Sirius taunted, leaning over and smirking at her, “you know, with the number of times that you tell me you’re not coming to see me again, yet every time I play you conveniently have ‘nothing better to do’.”  

“Yet you always put my name on the guestlist.” 

“Because I enjoy this little game we play. The one where you pretend that you’re not bothered about me even though we both know that you are.” 

“I’m the one that’s bothered?” Y/N scoffed, “You’re the one that I get fifteen missed calls off when I don’t show up to your gigs. You’re the one that writes songs about me when I’m not even your girlfriend. But I’m the one that’s bothered?” 

 "You're the one who always shows up at these gigs only to see me and then make out like you don’t care about me." he shot back. "You love the attention I give you. You love the fact that I write about you.” Sirius laughed. 

“You’re a narcissist. You like the fact that I have feelings for you, that I care enough to show up to your concerts.” she spat. 

“Ah, but you love it.” He said, his town teasing as he leaned closer towards her, “I know you do.” 

As if to prove his point, he leaned forward and place one hand gently under her chin, forcing her eyes up towards him. Then, ever so gently, brushed her lips with his, letting the barest hint of a kiss touch her before letting his hand drop.  

Sirius was clearly enjoying himself and it was clear to Y/N that he was just trying to get under her skin. She glared back at him, angry at him for mocking her but at the same time wanting him badly. It was a feeling that both of them had struggled with for a while now, through months of hooking up yet never actually committing to each other.  

He was relentless, always trying his hardest to catch her off guard. All the times when she had resolved to ignore him, he would find a way to worm his way inside her thoughts. If not by words then by gestures; the way his arm would snake round her waist, the way he would rest his hand on her thigh when they were sitting together, the way he would have her pressed against the wall in the quickest flash if he wanted to.  

“We both know why I’m here so why don’t we just cut the bullshit.” Y/N said, deadpan. 

“Because you’re in love with me?”  

“Because you’re a good fuck, Black.” 

Sirius groaned, the air was thick with the tension that had been building between them. A smug smirk plastered itself across his face.  

“And there it is.” he said, looking her up and down, his eyes roaming over her body and then back up to her lips, “I thought we were going to dance around the inevitable for the rest of the night.” 

Sirius grabbed her by the wrist, yanking him towards his dressing room. A boot-clad foot kicked the door open before swiftly pulling her inside and knocking it shut behind him. 

“There’s no fun in being coy with you, sweetheart,” his eyes still locked on her lips, “I’m aware of how this goes. You come to see me, and you pretend you hate me while I try my hardest to get under your skin. Then inevitably, we both get tired of playing this game and you finally let me fuck you like you’ve been longing for all night.” 

He had her pinned against the door now, one of his hands resting just above her head, bracing himself as he towered over her. He smirked, running his fingers down her neck. He loved it when they were like this, how they would both pretend to not be absolutely crazy with desire for each other. It was exciting. A game of cat and mouse that had been going on for far too long.  

His long, slender fingers wrapped around her throat, the cool metal of his rings pressing against her skin. He tightened his grip ever so slightly, enjoying the soft gasp that escaped her lips.  

“You look so pretty like this.” he said, his voice low, “So pretty with my hand around your neck.” 

He dipped his head down, catching her lips in his, teeth clashing together as he roughly kissed her. He groaned into her mouth, his tongue slipping inside, their kisses becoming messy. His hands found the back of her thighs, lifting her up so that her legs wrapped around his waist.  

Hastily, he carried her over to the dressing table, putting her down on top of it, her back resting against the mirror. Y/N quickly removed her shirt, Sirius unbuttoning and sliding off her trousers as she did. He dragged her to the edge of the table, roughly spreading her legs.  

“You know you love this, don't you?” he teased, his breath hot and heavy as it fanned over her face, “You love that you’re mine.” 

Sirius’s hands were rough and unrelenting, he was unable to hold himself back, the pair of them far too eager to take it any slower.  

“Stop teasing and just fuck me already.” Y/N said, already breathless.  

Wordlessly, he shoved his jeans down, letting them hang low on his hips. He wasted no time, quickly lining himself up with her, plunging in without given her a second to adjust. A ragged moan escaped her lips, earning a smile from Sirius.  

“I’m the only one that gets to make you make those pretty noises,” he grunted, his hips snapping against hers, “No one can fuck you better than I can, can they?” 

Unable to form a coherent response, she just shook her head, her eyes screwed shut in pleasure. 

“Answer me properly.” 

“N-no.” she gasped, “No one fucks me better than you.” 

That was all the fuel he needed to keep going. He grabbed her forcefully, repositioning her so that she was bent over on the dressing table with him behind her. 

“Want you to look at yourself in the mirror,” he ordered, “Want you to see how desperate and needy you are for me, how good I make you feel.”  

His fingers wove into her hair, adjusting her head so that she had no choice but to stare at their reflection. It was like a high for him, watching her stare at herself in the mirror, taking in her bruised lips and smudged makeup. 

Sirius slammed into her, his grunts mixing with her moans as he chased his own release. He felt her clench around him and he stared thrusting harder, deeper.  

“That’s it. Look at yourself as you cum for me.” he encouraged, “such a little slut for me.” 

Y/N came with a loud moan, her body going slack. Sirius held her up against him as his thrusts got sloppy, his own orgasm quickly approaching. He groaned as he came inside her, panting as he pulled out.  

“So, when’s your next gig?”  

[catacombbee]

school bus graveyard headcanons because im thinking about them

and because im projecting

just general / random headcanons

Tyler has arachnophobia and entomophobia. creepy crawlies are a HARD NO for Mr. Hernandez. Jackass bullies? No problem. Phantoms trying to eat him? Easy. Tree? Been there, done that. Fucking spiders? get it the FUCK away. mans has a visceral skin crawling reaction to even SEEING something creepy crawlie. it's one of the only things that makes him seriously panic other than yk someone being hurt

Ashlyn has autism yes this is basically canon i think. BUT Ashlyn has a lot of texture sensitivities both with clothes and with food. itchy scratchy clothes are a no. she cannot stand t-shirts keeping their tags they rub and scratch her neck and it makes her want to scream. she cuts the tags out before wearing anything. and food she can't have anything too squishy or tough or else she just loses her appetite entirely.

^^ to build on the clothing tags. everyone else in the group cuts the tags out of their jackets/hoodies and some shirts so if Ashlyn wants to borrow something she can be comfortable

Aiden is down bad for someone wearing his clothes. this can apply to any ship you want, i like him with Ashlyn Tyler or Logan (ive like never seen any talk abt Aidgan? Loden?) but regardless. whoever it is Aiden likes he gets so giddy butterflies giggly seeing someone wear his clothes. this is moreso for Ashlyn or maybe Logan because Ashlyn is so much smaller than Aiden that his sweatshirt would probably hang off her and Aiden would just abdjshfkefbns she's so cute!! this is mostly an Aidlyn hc for me but Logan would also be cute in anyone else's sweatshirt

uh if it's not clear by now im a multishipper ive said it before BUT i like Tyben a lot. they find calm and quiet in each other and bond through expressing themselves through something much healthier: music. i adore Tyben. AND because of Ben in the canvas webtoon: Tyler calls him ladybug. "Hey ladybug" "It's okay ladybug ive got you" "ladybug, you okay?"

kinda related to previous one but like blush hc. Ben does not blush. maybe a little pink on his cheeks. but his EARS. his ears get so RED when he's angry or when he's flustered. his face might be 😐 but you look at his ears and they're red you know he's flustered

ALSO everyone learned ASL for Ben so he didn't have to just use notes n stuff. Aiden was already learning but everyone else picked up on it

Logan likes compact spaces, they male him feel safe and secure. Like the tire! He feels very nice and snuggly in his tire. But also like. under beds. in closets (haha). one time they played hide and seek in Aiden's house and Logan won because he fell asleep curled up in an empty cabinet. Logan loves being little spoon because he just fits snugly in everyone's arms

it's been mentioned Tyler plays guitar, but i hc that he's also a really good artist. because he got into baseball for a scholarship he's kinda dropped both art and music, but in getting to know the others and especially Ben he gets back into playing music which leads to him drawing again. he doodles pictures of his friends and they realize what a good artist he is. that's how he realizes he actually has passion for creativity and decides he wants to be a tattoo artist.

(i was writing a tyden tattoo artist Tyler au on a reblog draft from a post @\the-killies made and like forgot abt it. someone peer pressure me if you think that sounds like snth you wanna read. it was probably over 1k words by the time i forgor)

Taylor likes mechanics (cus. the club) but she also knows some programming. this is solely because I think Taylor would like making little robots just for fun. Aiden would beg her to make him a little robot like that one companion toy robot Cosmo

in canvas sbg Logan brought a bunch of clothes for them to wear in the pictures/videos they took. so. Logan likes cosplay and renn faires. History is one of his favorite subjects (the other being science. english/literature is a very close third. he doesn't dislike math just isn't his favorite) so he has a lot of clothes from different time periods because of the renn faires he's been to.

This is a really unhinged headcanon and isn't something ive ever thought about before but thinking about Logan having outfits and stuff made me think who would be the most likely to be a furry. and no not Logan. it would be Aiden. hes rich enough to splurge on his fursuit. THIS IS A JOKE I DONT HC HIM AS A FURRY THIS IS A "WHOS MOST LIKELY TO" PLEAS

Aiden's favorite subject is history, he likes reading about wars but he also enjoys learning about other cultures and differences from how we live in modern day America. Aiden would probably study anthropology just for the fun of it. he and Logan bond over their love of history. Aiden can't remember what he had for lunch yesterday but he can tell you every little detail he knows about the Civil War start to finish, dates and names and locations and all.

this is a really weird hc but. Ashlyn is an amazing rapper. there was a karaoke night and one song someone did had a rap part coming up and they were like ahaha it's too fast for me and Ashlyn just stood up. took the mic. and fucking blew everyone's minds. and then she sat down like she didnt just rock their world

this last bit is self indulgent. assuming the phantom world things don't last forever, the kids get therapy eventually :D

^^ building on that, Ben specifically, he lives in my head rent free. i love him sm. Ben gets therapy for not just the phantom world things but everything beforehand. slowly and surely, starting with Aiden and Lily and maybe whichever person he's shipped with, he starts talking again. Some days are better than others, sometimes he gets quiet again, other times he goes for days talking as much as anyone (except aiden he yaps.) everyone almost cries when Ben is doing something and begins singing to himself because they realize he's better

im gonna do like gender & sexuality headcanons too,,, maybe later. might do silly ship hcs too cus i ship so many pairings here

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Something that I couldn't put into words but now I can about the Chaggie conflict in "Rosie" and one other reason it hurt: Charlie questioning Vaggie's loyalty. Yes, I know it wasn't because of Vaggie's origin but because of the lie itself but still hurts and clearly hurt Vaggie - she has been nothing but loyal and honest in Charlie's dream and has only ever done 1 lie in all of that. And when it's revealed, Charlie is now questioning everything - Again, I understand but it still hurts. And I know this might be redundant, I WANT this moment to come back again in S2. I don't know how but I want Vaggie to admit how angry/hurt it made her that Charlie questioned the loyalty she has given without asking for anything. What do you think?

i don't think Vaggie was even slightly angry with Charlie until her girlfriend made a magically binding pact with an unrepentant serial killer the second Vaggie wasn't looking XD

......we're asking a bit much by expecting the woman who hates and judges herself over her own mass murderer past... to then be upset that her girlfriend was also hurt and angry about that and reacted badly to randomly having all that dropped out of the clear blue sky in the middle of an already terrible day...

so in that ep got the vibe Vaggie spent the entire time feeling sick and guilty over the whole thing tbh. As usual

(and her feeling very very not good about seeing Alastor getting all creepy mentor with a Charlie who just got a wedge driven between her and her main emotional support- im 100% sure Vaggie's "Charlie can we talk-?" following Alastor's "good girl" thing was her wanting to know EXACTLY what deal her gf just made with Alastor and what the hell she was thinking and charlie are you sure Vaggie can't just stab him a little as a warning-)

But Vaggie, she's also not really uh. Not got a good track record of wanting or letting Charlie know about her feeling bad about stuff, emotions wise. Even when Charlie is right next to her reaching out. That's not her thing???

ah what the hell tangent time

like one big reason Vaggie DIDN'T fess up her past to Charlie was her being scared Charlie would be hurt by it and actually hate her for having done that, because Vaggie is being hurt by her past and hates herself for having it (re: every time she's called angels like herself deranged), so even though the blackmail against her made NO real sense and Adam's threat was just him not understanding that someone (charlie) could ACTUALLY believe in redemption for LITERALLY anyone (she does), it still pinged Vaggie's fear right in the heart, making the stuff like how Charlie is letting a known serial killer live in the hotel and help out with her and Vaggie's dream go RIGHT out the window-

(to be fair from Vaggie's pov there's probably a BIG difference between ending someone's mortal life on Earth (a la normal sinner seral killers) and presumably destroying their entire soul forever (re: exorcists) so like, that's kinda fair, but it still doesn't include how Charlie is WILLING TO WORK WITH AND THINK THE BEST OF HEAVEN AND THE EXORCISTS ANYWAY which is WHY she thought going to heaven to talk with them could work in the first place)

(to be extra fair it doesn't MATTER how much Vaggie trusts Charlie bc Vaggie had body parts ripped off and her eye permanently gouged out and was abandoned in hell by someone ELSE she use to trust once and THAT means really trusting people not to hate or abandon her is gonna take her putting some more blame on Adam and Lute and co and less on herself, because as long as she focuses on what SHE did (murderer) to make all this happen TO herself (filth like you doesn't deserve-) she's never gonna fully get that what happened to her was a choice shit people made (let's exterminate ppl for fun! let's rip off our comrade's wings and eye without hesitation!!!), one they didn't have to make, one she didn't make for them- meaning non-shit people like Charlie probably won't do that to her, actually, bc people like Charlie will care about Vaggie as a person outside of her being useful or being exactly what is wanted. Like how Charlie was more worried about Vaggie at the end of ep 3 than anything else and wouldn't let Vaggie blame herself and was fine with things being hard as long as she and Vaggie could face them together. Like how Charlie was calmed in the More Than Anything reprise not by Vaggie promising to fix everything but by Vaggie saying Charlie is important and wonderful to HER)

if anything Vaggie might be upset if she found out Charlie had less of a problem with the Exorcist thing than with the lying thing

If you (Vaggie) think you still need to EARN redemption, then having someone say your sins don't bother them so much can ironically make you panic and either think they're lying to you OR it can make you worry you've downplayed what you've done and are somehow tricking the person you love into believing you're a better person than you actually are and therefor might be taking advantage of them, which of course you don't want to do because you love them, which is a pretty big contradiction you probably won't notice is there

Sooooo i could see Vaggie spiraling into something like THAT but,

her be angry at Charlie for being upset over the thing Vaggie hates about herself? the mental health levels aren't good enough for that one yet XD

basically both Vaggie and Charlie got to live through the very fun experience of being trapped in your own head and trauma

anyway, the fact that Charlie didn't ask or want or LET Vaggie do an apology for any of that at the hotel gates says more than enough for me, for both of them. Just like with Vaggie putting her own fear and self-loathing onto Charlie, most of Charlie's pain in that ep didn't come from Vaggie's past or Vaggie's lie.

I've said Charlie's bad at figuring out what she's feeling and ep 7 is where it really bit her in the ass- she got hit with an identity crisis (turns out the one person who always believes in her didn't trust her enough to tell her this) (this on top of the epic fail of their shared dream to save sinners from extermination and the looming destruction of the hotel that represents that dream) and trauma trigger (what if Vaggie lied about all of that too, what if she never really loved or had faith in Charlie, what if Charlie is going to be alone again) without understanding that's what was going on or that it was something coming from herself as much as from Vaggie.

Being away from Vaggie didn't reduce Charlie's stress during that ep, it made it worse, until Rosie had to yoink her in for an emergency counseling session. Before that Charlie vents about how she told Vaggie everything and shared everything with her (the exorcist thing gets a TINY throwaway mention it is NOT the focus here) and when you add the lie revelation to how Vaggie asked to be alone on the roof in ep 3 instead of letting Charlie be there for her, it stops being about ONE lie TO Charlie, and turns into YEARS of lies ABOUT Charlie's place in Vaggie's life.

Which was terrifying and painful and... went away the MOMENT Charlie realized Vaggie did actual love her and believe in her, and was not actually going to leave her.

If actions mean more than words then their reunion at the hotel gates is them both saying the only thing either of them want to hear- I missed you, i love you, i want to be with you. Here's this horrible souvenir i picked up for your while we were on opposite sides of town and thanks babe im gonna fling myself into your open arms about it.

Vaggie hates herself too much to feel like Charlie owes her an apology for being hurt and angry at the Exorcist lie. It was a pretty big thing to keep hidden

i mean murder aside, Charlie had no idea Vaggie's opinions and advice about heaven was from personal experience, she probably assumed it was just normal sinner bias against the people who kill sinners and not, you know, Vaggie secretly dissing on how terrible her former boss and co-workers used to be. Maybe Charlie would've approached the talking to heaven differently if she'd known. Maybe she would've tried strangling Lute's hologram in ep 1. we will sadly never know

we DO know that Vaggie ran to hug Charlie right after the secret was revealed, which means Vaggie was mainly worried about Charlie being hurt by it, which doesn't really leave a lot of room for Vaggie to be upset at Charlie when Charlie does turn out to be hurt by it

so Vaggie wanting an apology from Charlie? I see her more wanting a very, very, VERY long hug

but if Charlie ever tries giving an apology anyway (a la the balcony scene in ep 3), that might just freak Vaggie out and fuck her up with "oh no my gf doesn't understand how bad the things i've done are am i tricking her am i using her would she be better off without me" issues for the foreseeable future ^w^;

[fatkish]

Funny (Y/N) x MHA

Inside the teachers lounge:

(Y/n): *looking at Aizawa from across their desks* choke me with your thighs daddy.

Aizawa: no

Vlad and Hizashi: *spits out drinks*

All Might: *chokes as blood spills from his mouth*

——————————————————————————

All might: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

Aizawa: Milfs.

(Y/n): Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.

All might: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???

Hizashi: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.

Hizashi: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.

(Y/n): Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.

All might: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—

All might: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

Hizashi: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?

Aizawa: What? No! It isn't!

Hizashi: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!

(Y/n): Hizashi...

Hizashi: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!

(Y/n): I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.

Hizashi: ALL MIGHT, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!

All might: The word milf has been ruined for me.

Aizawa: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!

(Y/n): Y'all are dumbasses.

——————————————————————————

Midnight: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess.

Hizashi: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to?

Aizawa: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit.

(Y/n): Guys

——————————————————————————

All might: Whose turn is it to give the pep-talk?

(Y/n): *sighing* Aizawa.

Aizawa: Fuck shit up out there, but don’t die.

Hizashi: *wiping away a tear* So inspirational.

——————————————————————————

*Bakusquad is learning CPR on a test dummy*

(Y/n): So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?

Kirishima: No, (Y/n). They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.

(Y/n): No, that’s not part of it—

Mina: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?

Denki: I would want to live with no legs.

Bakugou: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Sparky. You don’t do anything.

(Y/n): All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him.

Kirishima: *pumps frantically*

(Y/n): Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute.

Sero: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?

Bakugou: How’s that gonna help you Tape arms?

Sero: I will divide and then count to it.

Bakugou: Right.

(Y/n): Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?

Denki: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.

——————————————————————————

Y/n), on the phone: Uh. . Hey, Hizashi , i uh, I’ve been stabbed.

All Might: WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU?

(Y/n): Wait- You aren’t Hizashi . Sorry- I didn’t mean to call you-

All Might: NO, WHERE ARE YOU? IM COMING THERE. IM NOT GOING TO LEAVE SOMEONE ALONE THATS BEEN STABBED.

——————————————————————————

Aizawa: Your smug self-assuredness is revolting.

(Y/n): I think we need to validate self confidence more, lest you end up angry at others for having even a sliver of it. I've done nothing wrong and I have a heart of gold.

Vlad king: I think this message is extremely valid, but also (Y/n) has implied wanting to set off the Yellowstone supervolcano, so what's the truth?

(Y/n): I want to set it off.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): Why are you like this??

Aizawa: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

——————————————————————————

Dabi: I'm trash.

(Y/n): As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?

Dabi:

Dabi: You smooth motherfucker.

Dabi: And yes it does.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.

Aizawa: You always act stupid.

Aizawa:

Aizawa: Wait…

——————————————————————————

Twice: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.

Dabi:

Dabi: I'm gonna tell them.

(Y/n): Don't you dare.

——————————————————————————

Toga: You really believe in (Y/n)?

Tomura: Luckily, they believe in themself enough for the both of us.

——————————————————————————

Kurogiri: I had to pick up (y/n) early.

Mr. Compress: That’s alright. Have they been sick?

Tomura: No, not sick, they’re just very upset because they’ve had a hard day.

Dabi: Wait, why did they have a hard day?

Tomura: They took their two pet snails to school with them today, and they had the snails in their book bag. They let out the snails by the sink in the back of the classroom for some exercise, and some kid, who was visiting the class that day, thought they were snails that had come inside from the playground, so they threw (y/n)’s snails out the window.

Dabi: Oh my god.

Kurogiri: I know you are laughing, guys, but please act sad about it when they get home today.

Dabi: I’ll try but that is hilarious.

Tomura: Yeah, I know. Stupid pet snails.

Tomura: I’m trying not to let (y/n) see me laugh.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Aizawa and I are dating.

Nedzu, Hizashi, All Might, and Aizawa: *gasp*

(Y/n): Aizawa, why are you surprised?!

——————————————————————————

(Y/n), about Hizashi and Aizawa: My god, would you two just get a room already?

Aizawa: Excuse me, (Y/n)?

(Y/n): You both just keep agreeing about horrifying things and relishing everybody else's misery. So seriously, when's the wedding?

Hizashi: ...

Nedzu: I ship it!

All Might: CAN YOU NOT?

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water??

Nedzu: Y- you were putting it in cold water??

Aizawa: (Y/n). Answer the question, (Y/n).

(Y/n): Yeah??? I thought people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. didn't realize there was an actual reason.

(Y/n): Plus you think I have the patience to boil water?

Nedzu: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes??

Aizawa: Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Nedzu: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Aizawa: It takes less than a minute.

Nedzu: Is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun???

Aizawa: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?

Nedzu: Like seven minutes??

All Might: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes... less than that if you use a saucepan!

Aizawa: Why are you putting the whole mug on the stove?? On medium heat?? All Might? Your stove is enchanted!

(Y/n): Every single person here is a fucking lunatic.

Hizashi: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?!

[lynxtheserval]

Hi im the anon that requested for scythe chasing the reader.

And yes,like thoese typical yandere pslsls im so down bad for this womwan🙏🙏🙏🙏

Fun to write wooo, I might do a part two if I remember about this lmao

Man sorry if it seems lazy at any point as well

Yan!Scythe x reader -

(TW: yandere shit, stalking, getting chased, a single curse word, possible ooc scythe)

All you heard was whistling and the heavy ba-dump of your blood through your ears. You tried to run as fast as you could through the dusty ghost town you managed to get lost in.

Your shoes pounded against the sand, and your legs were exhausted. You've been running for who knows how long at this point.

You turned around a corner and sat next to a wall to try to catch your breath. You hoped she wasnt following you anymore, but you still heard the whistling and humming of that… monster. The whistles sounded farther away now, but you still weren't fully safe. You don't know what she wanted from you, but what you do know is she's been chasing you for what feels like an hour, carries a terrifying looking gear, and she’s the most wanted in all the factions. You weren't that special of a person, you weren't a criminal, nor anybody important, you have no idea what a person like HER wanted from you.

You got snapped out of your train of thought when you realized you could hear footsteps now, oh god.. she was close. You were frozen with fear, you held your breath and stayed as still as you possibly could.

The footsteps got louder, and louder, and louder.

“Ya know, you can't run forever, sugar.”

Her voice was.. intimidating, to say the least. She had a very strong southern accent, if she wasn't chasing you down for who knows what reason, you might have found her voice attractive.

You said nothing and continued being as still as you possibly could.

“Listen, baby, I ain't gonna hurt ya! Just come out of your little hiding spot, so I can see your pretty little face.”

You seriously doubted that she wouldn't hurt you.

Scythe was getting annoyed now, where the hell were you?! She never loses her sights on a target, but you were much more than that. You were actually important to her. But of course you didn't know that, you just met her, after all.

Except she's known you for a while.

You were such a precious thing! Your adorable face, your laugh, your beautiful eyes, oh.. and your personality! She loves every bit about you.

That's why she isn't letting you leave.

You were still hiding, she knew you were around here, somewhere. You were terrified, you didn't know what to do.

So you stayed in your hiding spot, and waited.

And waited,

And waited.

It felt like forever, you couldn't hear her footsteps anymore, so you think you're in the clear to go.

So you carefully step outside your hiding spot, and look around.

It seemed cl-

“FUCK-”

You got kicked down on top of the sandy ground, and heard a menacing laugh behind you.

“Oh sugar.. I'm glad I was able to find you in the end! You hide well, I'll give ya that.”

You got the breath knocked out of you, gasping for air. The woman placed her foot on top of your back, not too hard as to hurt you, but enough to keep you from getting up and running.

“Now, you're probably wondering what I want from you.” She paused, trying to figure out what she wanted to say. You nodded, and tried to speak, but she interrupted you. “Well, darlin’, I want you.”

“Wh-what do you mean!?”

She took her foot off of you, but before you could do anything, she grabbed one of your arms, forcing you up. She then brought you into a hug, wrapping her arms around you.

“Ya see sugar, you don't know this, but I've been watching you for a while now.” She grinned at you, looking into your eyes. God, you were so much prettier up close.

“What did I do to anger you?!”

“You didn't do anything, darlin’. Except steal my heart!” She laughed, “And trust me, baby, I ain't angry. It's reasonable that ya would wanna run away from me.”

You looked at her with fear in your eyes and she took notice of this, and loosened her hold on you, instead of hugging you, she was now just holding your hands.

“Relax, I'm not gonna hurt ya! I just want you to stay with me for a little while, it won't be bad, baby, I promise.”

And then your vision went black.

[sparklingdemon]

grggrgrgrg i dont know where else to put this but i dont know how to explain but i hate when everyone coddles cody its like NOOOO! like yes they shouldnt suffer a horrible punishment but who are you to say what they did is nothing! or to just blatantly just put hate to charizard because shes holding them accountable for their actions! Just because cody is your blorbo does not make what they did right! you cannot forgive them because you are not the victim! sure you can forgive them for lying to you the entire time theyve known you but well to me that also brings up the question of. well what truth have they actually told me.

im not hating on anyone specifically or anything i promise its just like NOOOOO!! STOP!!! THEYRE NOT A LITTLE BABY WHO NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED FROM BIG EVIL CHARIZARD!!!!!

KILL!!!

(joke)

I believe cody needs to be looked at in a realistic light. like "hey cody that was fucked up. buuuut... well youre already in a prison of your own making so there isnt much more i can do. youre already paying for your actions."

Maybe thats just my thoughts i just always feel like a feral animal like this whenever everyone is comforting them

maybe that is how i feel about cody in general on a variety of fronts though they are my chew toy <3

FOR REAL IT'S GENUINELY SO CRAZY SEEING PPL JUST GOING "that's it?" AT THE FACT THAT CODY KNOWINGLY KILLED THE CHILDREN OF THEIR OWN CREATION. they did the thing that these players have literally threatened to kill EACH OTHER over. like, it's not just a one-off instance. there has been a RESOUNDING amount of support for cody in monochrome's inbox right now.

BUT that said, there ARE some people who are saying exactly what you have of, "i forgive you for lying and what you did was bad but you've already been punished for it" and even some people who do feel genuinely angry at them so it's not like EVERYONE is just blindly coddling cody. so that's good.

i'm trying my best to make it clear from a narrative perspective that what cody did was a Very Bad Thing and that charizard isn't just senselessly bullying cody over something that wasn't their fault. i know that was the false narrative that cody was fostering in peoples' heads for the past two years, so it's going to take a while for people to unlearn what cody misled them into believing and fully accept the gravity of cody's actions. charizard might be harsh but she is the voice of reason here to expose not just cody's true nature but also the hypocrisy of cody's players. it'll be fun to see more of her from now on.

[severussnapesekitten]

Animagus!Severus Snape x Animagus!Reader

Hiiii!! This is actually my first ever… writing story thing?? 😭😭

Idk!! I’m new to this ya’ll anyways I only write fluff and maybe a little angst.. maybe. will only write for Snape and a few other characters!!

Ahh this is getting long!! (Sorry) I just read something on here and fell in love with it, (I used the same gif) and I wanted to write my thoughts on it!!

Hope you guys enjoy my first ever rambling because there’ll be a lot of it 😘

੭* ‧₊° —————————-ᯓᡣ𐭩

He never knew you were like him, obviously all the clear signs fell on deaf ears..well I guess it would be sight in this situation- anyway you know what im trying to say

You were always sleepy during the day, like him. You slept in your office under your desk when you really couldn’t make it to your common room or under somewhere with the darkest shade, like him. When you’d yawn you would cover it incase of trying to cover a screech that might slip out, like him.

How couldn’t he have noticed? How couldn’t he have noticed by the fact that every dinner, breakfast and lunch you mostly stacked your plate with fruit. It was right in front of his eyes!! He was always curious about you, glancing at you for a second longer than he should, and only looking away once you looked in the direction of who could be burning holes at your head? You guys got along tho, sitting by each other at the quidditch games you with either an apple or a banana to go with it, or you guys in each other’s offices simply grading away with you having sweet peach tea, and that is when he simply couldn’t hold in his curiosity, asking the big question.

“Why do you eat so much fruit?” He questioned, eyeing your tea standing over your desk as he set down the pen he borrowed.

You smiled cheekily, “you want me to share my biggest secret?” You set your pen down looking up at him gleefully.

“..is this ‘big secret’ gonna give me a headache?” He scowled a little.

You giggled “just watch!” You smiled and stood up. Your cloak wrapped around you until you suddenly poofed into the form of a small fruit bat, flapping your wings to land on the end of your desk, close to him. You showed off your fangs by smiling cheekily.

You squeaked out, “tada!”

He raised an eyebrow and sighed. “That explains.. a lot.”

You tilt your head “huh?”

“You’re exactly like me.” He grumbled and his cape then enveloped him, and he poofed into a bigger fruit bat flapping his own wings and landed on your desk next to you. He quirked his head as to say ‘what?’

“Woah! You’re really cool sev!” You smiled and he hummed. “Though.. why are you.. bigger than me?” He scoffed “do you really think I’m going to be the same size of bat, when I’m taller than you in human form?” He held in a chuckle. “No fair!” You huffed.

(Pretend this was all in echolocation ty😭)

•——•

At night when you two would get to patrol the area for any sneaking out kiddos, or any scary intruders you would be in your bat forms flying around, use echolocation to communicate. It was like a game of sorts. To see who could patrol faster, and who could run into another first. Sometimes you guys play around in that abandoned tower in a game of chase. Sometimes he wins, sometimes you win!

He never really liked having his bat form when he was younger, the kids would pick on him for it even more. But when he saw how enthusiastic you were about it, and how fun it was playing silly children’s games at the dead of night is when he finally realized how good it felt to embrace all sides of him, especially you by his side pushing him out of his comfort zone once in a while.

But, always remember to never turn on a classrooms light if you don’t see a teacher in it. Because if you do, you might get jump scared and scolded by a very angry Snape for being inconsiderable about others who might be sleeping still, and you, who is trying to calm him down saying how the student didn’t know any better!

There’s no doubt about it that, that student will go around telling everyone they saw professor Snape and the sweet nice professor who were just in their bat forms cuddling, hanging from the black chandelier in Snapes classroom.. :)

੭* ‧₊° —————————-ᯓᡣ𐭩

Phew! First rambling down.. a lot more to go!!

[where-that-old-train-goes]

ummmm duck grayson

this was the context on the FUCK. dick ask but anyway okayyy

sooo im not that well versed in nightwing comics (only just started looking for nightwing stuff) BUT that doesn’t mean i dont have THOUGHTS

to be clear generally im not a shipper anyway so i don’t actively ship him w anyone. i reblog cool art sometimes but im only an active shopper with yj

anywayyyy

some of y’all (!!!! WAYNE FAMILY ADVENTURES AND ANYONE WHO TAKE THAT SHIT AS CANON !!!!!!!!!!!!) do not understand this man.

rule 1: THIS MAN IS ANGRY. stop uwuifying him he’s canonically got anger issues. he is, canonically, ANGRY. “batman: tas was the best batman” cool but did you see the episode where little twelve year old dickie tried to Kill A Man. okay. he’s angry!!!

rule 2: he is a master manipulator. YALL ARE FALLING FOR HIS PERSONA. OKAY. he could manipulate whoever he wanted. he could be a villain if he wanted!!! BUT

rule 3: HE IS A GOOD PERSON. he may be angry and a good manipulator but he does want to be A GOOD PERSON. this is IMPORTANT. okay.

ultimately my favorite dynamic here is him and damian. the brothers ever. maybeeeeee him and bruce too because God. they’re always fun if it’s written right. smth i wish we as a fandom would discuss more is the problems with oversexualizing him? esp reducing him to just The Pretty One when he’s also been raped. more than once. you have to be in specific spaces to even find people talking about this but it’s something that happened a few times and i wish we’d actually talk about it. if it had happened to a female character (or even if the perpetrators were men and not women) we would NOT be acting how we act with him.

it’s really fucked up to me to reduce his INCREDIBLY interesting and fun to explore character to “haha he’s got a nice ass”. it was a funny joke when it was a JOKE— he is appearance wise a generic attractive dc guy. but it’s not a joke anymore among the fandom and i HATE IT. he’s got depth, he HAS a lot of things going for him that are really interesting!! don’t reduce him to just that.

on a less “pissed with the fandom” and more “pet peeve with the writers” I HATE TOM TAYLOR’S NIGHTWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

i have read leaping into the light— and it fucking sucked. it’s not, as it’s own story, bad (although there’s very little depth or really anything to analyze imo, but not all media HAS to be deep. that’s not what everyone is there for) but as a nightwing story?

‼️‼️‼️

IT SUCKED

‼️‼️‼️

tom taylor is on the road to success. someone pull him over.

dick isn’t just a wisecracking, happy-go-lucky guy! he does not have to be a Generic Hero!!!! he can be angry and manipulative and still be good despite it!!!!!!

that’s my main point but to end on something more lighthearted… i actually like the discowing suit. it was silly and weird and so 80s. but it was fun!!!! did it age well??? no. but was it FUN!!! was it SILLY!!!! was he kind of serving? yes! this is a pro discowing blog!

[sugarcryztal]

Hihi! Im Hie and i would like to request a nsfw romantic honkai star rail matchup, I go by she/her pronouns and I’m straight, I’m a busy person with my studies

I’m usually the leader of group projects and people trust me with higher positions in clubs! Unfortunately that also means that I often have a lot of pent up stress and I get pissed easily some days…I like cosplaying, socialising, making new friends and having a busy schedule(I don’t like being bored) I dislike people who are rude and people who I can’t read easily..? I like teasing people and they describe me as sarcastic and a fun person to be around.

That’s all thank you sm!!! Have a nice day <333

LMAOOO I’M SORRY I GIGGLED A LITTLE BUT HERE YOU GO! SORRY FOR THE WAIT ^^’

warning for nsfw, reader discretion is advised

Your HSR match will be. . .

VERITAS RATIO !

wow he’s so sexy hahahahhahahaha i mean what

SFW

⟡ Basically I just thought “what do nerds like” and I SAY NERDS LIKE DR. VERITAS RATIO!

⟡ Seriously though I just think you guys would mix well because of you both having an academic or work related background.

⟡ When he was first crushing on you he hated you.

⟡ As a joke, mostly… But he was so frustrated with himself! How could be such a fool in love!

⟡ I actually fully believe he avoided you when he first started crushing on you, but only for a little bit because he quickly got tired of beating around the bush.

⟡ Also because you were the leader for one of the projects you both had just been working on together in a group…

⟡ He never lets his feelings get in the way of work though, nuh uh uh!

⟡ Once you’re both done with the project, he confesses.

⟡ During his confession he’s wearing his stupid statue head so you won’t see how embarrassed he is. And thank fully you reciprocated!

⟡ So now you’re both dating… Now what?

⟡ Bro has NO relationship experience ☠️

⟡ I mean seriously, you’re probably one of first very few people he acknowledged to be good enough to be his partner.

⟡ He gets the hang of it eventually, but don’t expect him to use any pet names because he refuses to.

⟡ Unfortunately… Your boyfriend tends to be mean on accident. He doesn’t understand how harsh his tone can be sometimes, so he might need to be taught a little bit.

⟡ He definitely has a soft spot for you though. And I mean a VERY soft spot.

⟡ After a hard day of work, he’ll do anything you want to do. Especially if you had to deal with any of the idiots.

⟡ Take a bath together? Absolutely. Want a massage? The bed is ready for you to lay on! Need some time alone? Hmmm… Okay. He’ll respect that.

⟡ His love language is acts of service if I haven’t made that obvious btw

⟡ Will also let you touch his hair, just please try not to ruin it. He works very hard to maintain it which is why it’s super fluffy.

⟡ He doesn’t like meeting new people much, but he tries to be at least acquainted with your friends. H

⟡ He will drive you to hangouts though! If you do like hanging out with your friends a lot.

⟡ Always reminds you to clear some days on your schedule so you can take some time to relax, although he shouldn’t be talking because he also works a lot.

⟡ Tries to match his schedule with yours so he can spend more time with you! Will never admit it though and just calls it a “coincidence.”

⟡ If you try to tease him about it his face will turn pink and a small “Tch.” will leave his mouth.

⟡ When you have your days where you’re just angry at everything, he’ll offer you quiet company. He’ll hold you close in bed and let you rest against him until you fall asleep or take a nap.

⟡ Will also give you your space too. Don’t expect him to sleep on the couch though. He’ll just sleep on the bed with his faced to you.

It had been another exhausting day of work, you huffed softly as you set your things down near the entry way and shuffled your way to the living room where you saw your boyfriend, Veritas, sitting on the couch reading a book.

He looked out of the corner of his eye when you sat down next to him and began to scroll on your phone. You looked so exhausted. “That kind of day, huh?” Veritas said, his voice slightly softer than usual.

You nodded and said, “It was just exhausting.” Veritas hummed in response. He set his book down on the small coffee table before gently picking you up and sitting you on his lap.

“You know you can always talk to me, right?” He mumbled to you. He gently guided your head to rest against his broad shoulder. “I’m always here to carry the weight with you, no matter how small you think it is.”

You guys just sat there. In the silence and comfort of one another. He kissed your forehead softly as you drifted off into sleep.

NSFW

⟡ Soooo… About that stress? 👀👀

⟡ Now he would never do anything without your consent, duh.

⟡ But… He suggests that if you’re both pent up he can maybe… Finger the stress away?

⟡ You’re also sitting in his lap. No matter what. He just loves how big he is against you! How you’re so cute and defenseless against him!

⟡ I know I said he doesn’t like using pet names, but that doesn’t apply to bed activities.

⟡ Specifically likes calling you good girl, pretty girl, cockslut, and whore (in a non condescending way)

⟡ Loves restraining and blindfolding you if you like that, that way only he can see how pathetic you are with him.

⟡ Also prefers topping, he never wants to be bottom. He just loves worshipping your body and making you both feel good!

Veritas currently had you writhing and panting in his lap. He chuckled at your weak and sweaty state. “Tired already? Come on… You’re still so wet you pretty whore.”

You whined in response, but that didn’t stop his fingers! Pumping and scissoring you with his two big fingers! He kissed your neck as his other hand rubbed your thigh, “You’re doing so good, pretty girl.”

He watched as your body convulsed and you struggled against your restraints as another orgasm washed over you. He darkly chuckled and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Such a dirty whore.” It was going to be a long night because he had a lot more stress to get out.

08.24.24

[hell-drabbles]

i was reading the ra-on cuck ask again and i saw u say he ends up in the cucks seat eventually in these fantasies. im like a billion percent sure that he ends up thinking about the companion and one of his lovers bc hes sooo insecure. like he Knows theyre not itnerested in the devils amd that they would never do that to him but he ends up getting mad or upset at the companion.

anyways yeah just a thought i had. im like so obsessed w ur companion au its so good <33

Yeah Ra-on's insecurity manifests in that flip-flop of being in the cuck's chair, or being the one that's taken away from his lover. Wants to be taken and desired, but is also so prone to drifting towards those other fantasies of being called pathetic, weak-willed.

Point being, Ra-on does not engage with this cuck kink healthily and that's so fun for me.

The companion is in a realm of their own, in Ra-on mind. Minhyeok stands above him, but he's a hell of a lot closer, more tangible and easier to be around than the companion. Because of that, the Companion is this big and strong figure that can go and just, take whatever they want, as though it belongs to them. So of course he'd have these kinds of fantasies.

Not gonna lie, I was actually initially really hesitant on making any mentions of cuckoldry because it gives people such visceral reactions, like I just served them radioactive waste or something. It's the type of kink that requires an intense amount of trust in all the parties involved, but it's often reduced down to just "ugh, the degenerative cheater kink, of course." Just, hard focuses on the cheater part, when it's, you know, ultimately a fantasy that needs nice and clear communication. It's weird to me.

Also random, but I need to think how Ra-on acts post character development. I know that when he changes and becomes a way better version of himself, he'll end up sighing in disappointment at his previous self. Angry, almost, a self he wants to leave behind just as much as he wants to leave behind the lingering traces of Solomon.

You know, the kind of confidence that makes Ra-on go from a skinny, meek and virginal twink to someone that serves cunt and holds no shame and way better control over himself and his desires. Cunty twink perhaps? You know, the kind of tease that makes his voice a little sing-songy just to entice people. That'll be so funny because that is definitely a version pre-development Ra-on would not be able to see.

I want post-character development Ra-on to be the kind of person that makes one go "You little shit," while smiling. You get me?

[im-out-of-it]

part 4 of season 1, episode 10

49. “I’m not letting jace sacrifice my sister for his girlfriends pointless crusade.”-can we at least talk about how angry Alec is????? he found out his parents lied about their history, how jace lied about taking clary back (not agreeing about the meliorn thing but it is added irritation for Alec.) to the institute, how he stole the cup, and now Izzy’s life hangs in the balance. and it may seem dramatic but it would mean Izzy could never be a shadowhunter ever again. Jace and clary running off while Izzy’s life is hanging by a thread

50. some may look at Alec and think he’s overreacting but you have to take a look at Alec and everything he has been dealing with. he’s broken so many clave rules for clary, “has” feelings for jace and is watching jace do things he would never do for Alec. this bond is so weak and half sided that I’m surprised it ever did repair. I think 100% jace is the issue because he’s the one who weakened it. he takes advantage of Alec and this is something I’m not willing to argue with. it’s very clear that jace expects Alec to do whatever he wants him to do. how many times have we seen or heard jace ask what Alec needs or wants? he’s always putting his needs before Alec’s.

51. “Promise you won’t let it break.”-hodge “Jace is dead to me.”- now that’s my Alec 🔥✨ I’m actually surprised how much Alec has allowed without going off on jace. I’m not as nice apparently lmao SORRY IM PETTY LMAO

52. want to make a small parallel:

53. the “to us” scene is almost the exact same as the one in episode 4, but also “to use” has a lot of meaning because this line has been used on three separate occasions. in episode 4, 10 of season one and also the third season finale. it’s got a lot of meaning ✨

54. I believe AU Alec and Magnus met up and just fell instantly in love and lived a happy life together and they had zero worries because there are no demons and no jace and clary to “protect”. they just do their own thing away from Malec as they fucking should. THEY ARE HAPPY OK?????? 🫶🏼

55. this is probably the most I will ever like jace (not counting clary since technically it’s the same clary) because he’s not being self centered that we see and he actually seems relaxed and not a irritating dick

56. I think it’s funny how clary has had barely an training besides with alec which lasted not even a minute and jace telling her how to hold a blade- that she knows how to fight now. she’s had barely any training and all of a second, a skilled shadowhunter? it doesn’t make sense and this realm, they no longer have need for shadowhunters. unless she’s had training before when they were needed (and if Jocelyn and Valentine told her everything and trained her as a shadowhunter- yes that does make sense) but it’s still weird that she suddenly knows how to fight (wait for Alec and clary training towards the end of this list)

57. oh no jace is injured. how awful for him

58. let the useless dickhead die PLEASE

59. Alec is like I tried little sis 😭

60. at least they are on speaking terms, right???? (I know it’s basically the same gif but it warms my cold heart)

61. goodbye AU alec 😭🥰 I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH OKAY CAN YOU BLAME ME

62. also another parallel that won’t be mentioned until season 2 for those who are reading and haven’t watched the show

63. bonus scene I didn’t get to add for episode 5:

64. I’m sorry but it’s just so fun to watch lmao she could’ve used that more often

65. small note- I really love the differences with show Izzy and Alec vs the books. when I read the books, I didn’t get the feeling that Alec and Izzy were all that close. but in the show, they’re super close with Alec growing and starting to tell Izzy things. izzy and Alec barely fight- except for this episode instance and when the demon enters the institute in season 2. also I like the fact that shadowhunters can shapeshift as in the books, Tessa is the only one known to do it.

66. Alec can fight on his whole and proudly handle his own affairs and business. he’s not displayed as some ratty weak fighter who can’t learn anything and has to wish he was like jace. he’s his own person. and this is something that is very important when it comes to Alec. from these first 10 episodes, he is trying to manage his emotions as best as he can while also figuring out the path for him. he obviously is attracted to Magnus but is fighting it the best he can in this cat and mouse game they have going on

67. Izzy is a wonderful sister. she’s such a girls girl. befriending clary, always having Alec’s back, being one of the fiercest fighters as well as aiding her family in any way she can, and constantly trying to do the right thing. I’m not a fan of book Izzy all that much. but that’s on the writing.

68. Simon has also been going through many changes. leaving his old life behind and creating a new one. I think he’s doing marvelously well and show Simon is so much better

69. Jace and clary are still insufferable but not as bad as book CLACE. oh and “valentine” is there at the end of this episode and basically taunts jace and clary in almost handing over the cup- just like Alec predicted 😬

70. I’ve already touched on magnus. he’s caring, supportive, opening his heart to a new love even if that love is tricky. warlock, fortune teller, spell enthusiast, PLUS LAWYER. I’d have him represent me ✨ I have so much love for show Alec and Magnus and I have already bothered so much of y’all about that. Matt and Harry made sure show Malec mattered and didn’t take a backseat like they did in the books

okay so 70 was the number today. I originally thought there was 5 parts but forgot the trial doesn’t take place until next episode. thank you for joining we love AU magnus and Alec and ugh more CLACE scenes WHY debate and discussion ✨ stick around for next episode aka malecs first fight lmao

and also thank you anyway who reads my content, much love to ya (THESE GIFS ARE NECESSARY)

[faithintheunknownsblog]

I loved the post

And what if the reader was also a vampire just as powerful as alucard ?

Genre: Hellsing Au, Fluff, Angst

TW: Blood drinking, violence, guns, fighting, Alucard being a total dick (but since when is that new?)

Anything you can do better, I can do anything better than you~

It’s a- metaphorical- dick fighting competition, no question about it (im sorry not really but i couldn’t resist making an abridged reference)

Anyway-

You two will always be competing on who is better. Which one of you is stronger? Who’s the fastest? Who can endure the most pain? Who is going to win the fight when you two go head to head?

The answer? Neither. Neither of you are ever going to win in a fight against each other.

So instead of fighting each other you have learned how to have fun fighting to see who can do assignments better.

But it wasn’t always like that, it was actually quite the opposite for the first four months of you being part of the Hellsing Organization. Your very existence vexed Alucard because after six centuries of being the greatest vampire of all time he refused to accept being anything less than. All he wanted to do is annihilate you, which you didn’t understand because you were nothing but civil, friendly even. Well that was until you weren’t.

Within a week you accepted the fact that he hated you without any explanation. But for the sake of keeping the peace you suggested the idea of coexisting, and his response made it clear that the offer was off the table when he shot you in the face. So after that day you made it your unlife goal to drive him absolutely insane with the fact that he is no longer the most powerful.

Though you went about it in a passive aggressive way, from then on you tormented him by refusing to ever acknowledge his existence. For those four months you pretend that you never noticed when Alucard shot a hole through your heart, or blew off your head. You would just regenerate and continue on with whatever you were doing like it never happened.

Alucard absolutely hated that. How dare you act as if the most powerful vampire there is doesn’t exist?!

But that’s what you did, until it eventually became too exhausting. The constant fighting had you questioning why this person who knows nothing about you is so angry at you and why is it to the point that he’s always trying to kill you.

You fought and fought and fought your anger, oblivious to the fact that you were at your wits end. You had enough of all the bullying you were being subjected to, without realizing it. All that you were doing was waking up every night just to be Alucard’s punching bag and he was getting no repercussions for his actions. You thought you were fine.

Then you just snapped, all at once, without any warning. One night you saw Alucard and before he even had a chance to notice you entered the room, you. lost. it. and all of Hell almost broke loose.

You never knew your strength until the moment a couch was thrown without you even thinking about laying a finger on it. Your hands never had the chance to touch it and yet, you somehow made the huge piece of furniture fly through the air towards him.

Anything and everything in the living room was about to get destroyed if it wasn’t for Integra being right there to command Alucard to his cellar. Walter instantly restrained you with his thread to keep you from chasing after Alucard because he knew if you two weren’t separated right away the mansion was going to crash to the ground.

Alucard loved that he was able to finally get under your skin enough to break you, but bitter that Integra didn’t let you fight him. He had been dreaming of the day you finally let your rage loose and he wasn’t even allowed to see it.

Once you were calmed you were set free and Integra ordered you to your room as well, without knowing that was a big mistake because now you aren’t leaving it. You shut down because there was no more acting like Alucard hadn’t emotionally damaged you.

Which is exactly what Alucard wanted, he wanted to damage you because now that you couldn’t hold yourself to a high standard. Thus making him the greatest again.

Integra didn’t care much for your emotions until it started affecting your work ethic, you for the past week you never showed up when called upon. That’s when she forced Alucard to go ‘fix’ you, which he didn’t want to do but had no choice. The only thing he could think of how to get you to show up was by forcing you.

The whole ordeal played out like this:

===

You’re lying face down on your pillow, your body completely still as you just keep letting the loneliness and isolation feel like it’s burning a hole in your chest. All you wanted was a friend because what is the point of being immortal if it means being alone.

Alucard enters your room through the wall and looks at your limp body, if you were a mortal he’d assume you were dead. But since you aren’t he can tell that you’re only like this because of him and knowing that fills him with pride. He put you in your place and made sure he was the greatest once more.

If he thought you wouldn’t notice him because he came into your room through the wall he was wrong but it’s not like you cared anyway. Let him be in here, let him try to kill you because he’s not like he can do it anyway.

“Integra is holding a meeting,” Alucard says plainly as if you cared to listen. He somehow thinks that now you’ve broken down you’d be more inclined to listen to him. “So get up and let’s go.”

As soon as you got sent to your room you laid down with your face in your pillow and hadn’t moved from that spot since. That is until now, you stay lying down and the only thing that changes is that you lean your head back then let out a laugh. You find it absolutely hilarious that Alucard thinks you’re going to listen to him. You have a good bit of respect for Integra and didn’t even listen to her when she called upon you for the meeting. So what in the Hell makes him think that you’ll let him order you around?

Alucard is quick to get aggressive, walking over to you and reaches for your head. You don’t fight back as he tightly grabs the hair at the top of your scalp and harshly pulls back so you’re standing on your knees. You tilt your head back so he can see the calm and tranquil look on your face as he threatens you by putting his gun against your chin.

“Do it-” you’re giving Alucard permission, not that it matters because he’ll shoot you if he wants to regardless, “blow my brains out as many times as you need in order to make yourself feel better. Shoot me however many times it takes until you finally accept me, even if it takes another 2106 times.”

That takes Alucard by surprise, he lowers his gun and lets go of your hair then takes a step back. He just stares at you because he doesn’t know how to respond to the fact that you’ve been keeping count of every time he’s tried to kill you over the past four months. After a moment he finally realizes what’s been going on, “that’s why you’ve been silent this whole time?”

You lower your head and sigh, feeling like you should just have kept your mouth shut but you can’t take it back now. You don’t turn your head to look at him as you give your explanation, “not at first… but after awhile, yeah. But I knew there wasn’t a use in saying anything because you wouldn’t stop and I figured I could take it… I guess I was wrong about that.”

Alucard stays silent, thinking about how much of an asshole he’s been, he should have been looking at you as an ally and not an enemy. Now that Alucard realizes that he hopes you can forgive him, he offers his hand for you to take and sincerely says, “I’m sorry, I hope you can forgive me.”

You look into his eyes for any hint of malevolence but don’t see it and decide to trust him. You take his hand and let him help you up, letting go of it once your feet hit the ground. You give him a soft smile and say, “we should get going, don’t want to leave Integra waiting.”

Alucard nods and you two go to the meeting.

===

Which brings you to today; three and a half years after Alucard accepted you as an equal, you two have been best friends and damn near inseparable since. If someone finds one of you two it’s safe to assume that the other is not far behind. You two are so far shoved up one another’s ass that Integra will send both of you on a mission when there is only need for one.

===

You and Alucard make eye contact with one another when Integra calls you to her office, without a word both of you bolt for the door. He gets out first but you quickly get in front by grabbing onto his shoulders and leap over his head to get into the lead. Though that doesn’t last for long because grabs your wrist and pulls you behind him. It’s a whole fight along the way to Integra’s office.

Integra sighs as she can hear you both running through the mansion because it sounds like a herd of elephants. Meanwhile the two of you are laughing your asses off along the way, and she isn’t surprised when both of her office doors are flung open. You and Alucard nearly crash to the floor as you trample each other to get to Integra first.

“I won!” You shout triumphantly, you only think your first because your feet are stabilized on the ground before his are. You burst out laughing because of the sour look on Alucard’s face.

Before Alucard has a chance to say anything, Integra speaks, “I’ve come to accept the fact that you two act like children when you’re around each other but instead of nearly breaking my doors why don’t you two use your powers to go through them?”

“We play fair,” Alucard states. You two act human around each other sometimes without even realizing it, well, as human as you two can get. Then there are times when you two use your powers without realizing it either. It all depends on the day and the situation, like when it comes to racing. When you two are going through a door to get somewhere you don’t think about going through walls after that.

Integra sighs, knowing that she’s going to regret this, “there is a mission.”

You and Alucard look at each other from the corner of your eyes with cocky smirks, time for another competition to begin. After Integra gives you and Alucard all the information needed to set you two loose, you both bolt out of her office at full speed.

Integra can’t help but find it the tiniest bit of amusing because she’s never seen Alucard so lively and it makes her happy for him to have a friend. Especially a friend who can keep up with him.

You and Alucard use powers to get to your target since that’s always the safest- and fastest- option when it comes to missions.

When Integra gets to the scene she sees how it’s an absolute blood bath, that’s how she knew Alucard won the ‘race’ that you two were having. Alucard is always messy with his killings, whereas you are not. You’re a clean killer who makes sure that you leave as much blood to drink as possible.

“You leave nothing for me, asshole!” You shout in annoyance, Alucard always hogs every meal whenever you two go on missions.

Integra sighs upon hearing the squabbling, this is another reason why she hates sending you two on missions together. It’s like when kids get mad at each other for eating the last cookie out of the jar, though it’s mainly you always starting the arguments.

“Be faster next time,” Alucard playfully and wipes a stray bit of blood from his lip with his thumb. He taunts you, saying with a smirk, “there is still some blood on the pavement that you’re free to lick up.”

You go to punch Alucard’s arm but he steps away before you can and when you try again, he steps away again. You go to chase after him but Integra yells for you two.

“Enough!” Integra shouts, making you both stop and walk to her. But you elbow Alucard and he elbows you back, then next thing you know you’re hitting each other. Integra sighs and pulls out her gun, shooting into the sky, “the time for games is over!”

You and Alucard stop for real this time, walking back to Integra without any shenanigans. As you both are standing in front of Integra, she begins scolding the two of you, “this is why I don’t send you two on missions! All you do is play games!”

“We did get the job done, did we not?” Alucard asks, he has a point. You two always get your jobs done and that’s what matters.

Integra growls, she knows there is no point in arguing and she didn’t have the patience for it either. She takes a blood bag out from inside her coat pocket and tosses it to you, “now you can stop acting like a fool.”

You waste no time opening the bag and taking a big sip out of it, this will make your bloodlust subside for a bit but you’re still mad Alucard didn’t share with you. After you gulp down the whole bag you look at Integra and smile wide, “thank you Sir.”

Integra just looks at you in disgust, you might be a good addition to the organization but that still doesn’t keep Integra from seeing you as a grotesque beast like Alucard. You are still a vampire that has consumed many souls like him in order to get as strong as you are, and Integra doesn’t excuse that, “you’re vile.”

You instantly stop smiling, remembering that Integra doesn’t accept you like Alucard does, no one accepts you like Alucard for that matter. You put your head down, “sorry Sir.”

“Get back to the mansion,” Integra demands, she’s dismissing both of you because she has had enough of the two of you and your antics for the night.

Alucard can feel a difference in you so he decides to just walk back to the mansion, with you right by his side. Once you two are out of earshot Alucard asks you, “what’s wrong?”

“Just hate it when I’m reminded that my diet isn’t socially acceptable,” you say in a playful tone. Though it does hurt a bit when you’re looked at like a freak, but not enough to ruin your mood. It’s something that you’ve become used to and let roll off your back whenever it happens.

Alucard says exactly what comes to his mind, “our entire existence isn’t socially acceptable.”

“Yeah, I know but thanks for the reminder,” you roll your eyes. Sometimes Alucard absolutely sucks at comforting you but at least you can always count on him to be honest about a situation. You let out a defeated sigh, “we’re never going to be accepted are we?”

“Most likely not,” Alucard shakes his head. He has already accepted that fact long ago, and is surprised you haven’t as well. “It’s because mortals fear what they know is more powerful than them. If we were of the same strength as them they still wouldn’t accept us, they’d try to kill us regardless.”

“This really isn’t making me feel better, Alucard-” you chuckle because you know everything he said is true, “-I appreciate you trying though.”

Alucard sighs, he wasn’t exactly good with words when it comes to situations like this, “at least I understand you.”

“Yeah,” you look at the ground to hide your blushing face and sweet smile. You’d be lost without Alucard because he’s made being immortal bearable and less lonely. He makes you feel like a kid again, filling your heart with pure joy and you always feel like you’re on cloud nine whenever you’re with him. Though your playful nature tends to hold you back from sharing such things but- for some odd reason- tonight is different. Maybe it’s the full moon or maybe it’s because you’re still coming down from the adrenaline high you got from the mission. You don’t know. But whatever it is, it makes tonight the night you’re finally ready to voice what you’ve been holding back for years, “hey Alucard?”

“Hm?” Alucard got lost in his own thoughts as well during the silence. You aren’t the only one who’s been holding back a confession that could make or break everything you have with each other.

You don’t stop walking, you don’t even look at him because with how nervous you currently are, doing that will make the situation too intimate for you liking. You would rather not see his face if you’re going to get rejected and the idea of ruining everything almost makes you chicken out. But you just take a deep breath and say, “I think that I’ve fallen in love with you over these past few years.”

Alucard nearly faceplants into the dirt path you two were walking because of how abruptly he stops after you confess your feelings for him. Especially because your feelings are as strong as his own, three years really gives someone time to have a spark ignite and evolve into a flame. And you just made the flame explode into a bomb fire that becomes too much for Alucard to handle all at once. All he manages to say is “well then.”

Just like that your heart crumbles into pieces and you want to crawl into a hole. But you can’t so you try to run away from your problems, quite literally. You go to dart at full vampiric speed to the mansion.

Alucard notices the way your feet change stance and realizes what you’re about to do, so before you even get a chance to take a step forward he gets in front of you. He looks down at you, a worried look paints his face and he anxiously asks, “where are you going?”

“Home,” you growl, using anger to mask your overwhelming sadness that’s starting to ache in your chest.

“Why?” Alucard asks, not realizing what he did wrong. It’s been a long time since he was last in love, so the feeling might as well have been brand new to him. Plus he was surprised by your sudden boldness that it caught him off guard and ‘well then’ was the first thing that came to his mind.

“Oh I don’t know! Maybe it’s because I confess that I love you and all you have to say is ‘well then’!” You bitterly shout. At this moment you are too blinded by your broken heart that you forget Alucard isn’t good in situations like this. If you did you would have remembered that Alucard is a bit of a dumbass when it comes to emotions other than violence.

Luckily Alucard understands that your violence is exactly what he’s going to experience if he doesn’t get out of your way. He knows he has to find a way to fix this and fast, “please wait, I didn’t mean to upset you!”

“Well you did!” You state, wanting nothing more than to punch Alucard in his handsome face and beat his wonderful body into a bloody pulp. “Now move!”

“No, let me explain please,” Alucard pleads as you try to push past him and he grabs your wrist when you manage to. He grows frustrated because you won’t listen and roughly pulls you towards him so you’ll face him, angrily saying “will you listen dammit! I’m trying to tell you I feel the same way!”

“Oh-” your attitude immediately changes, your features softening and you stop trying to run away from him. Alucard glares at you as he lets go of your wrist now that you stopped resisting, he’s still a bit irritated with your unreasonable behavior just because you didn’t get the response you wanted.

“Well… you didn’t have to be so mean about it,” you tell him, crossing your arms over your chest and childishly pouting.

Alucard rolls his eyes in annoyance but stops being as frustrated with you, now that you’re no longer being irrationally angry with him. “Well you weren’t listening to me when I was trying to be civil but I shouldn’t be surprised.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?!” You glare at him, acting as if you don’t know exactly what he means.

“Because you never listen,” Alucard rolls his eyes. He wasn’t wrong, you jump to conclusions way too fast and it tends to be a source of a lot of fights you two have had over the course of your friendship.

“Well put yourself in my shoes, I confessed my feelings and got a ‘well then’ in response. That kind of thing hurts,” you admit.

“Because you never listen,” Alucard rolls his eyes. He wasn’t wrong, you jump to conclusions way too fast and it tends to be a source of a lot of fights you two have had over the course of your friendship.

“Well put yourself in my shoes, I confessed my feelings and got a ‘well then’ in response. That kind of thing hurts,” you admit.

“The last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt you,” Alucard says softly, holding out his hand for you to hold and smiles when you take it. He always has an overwhelming guilt from how he treated you at first even though you forgave him and since then he only ever wants to make you happy. Alucard loves to see your smile and your laughter is like music to his ears.

“I know,” you give him a small nod, Alucard isn’t the only one who is hopelessly in love. He’s the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you think about before you fall asleep. “But you sure love to annoy me.”

Alucard scoffs, “that’s rich coming from you.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about! I’m a perfect angel!” You giggle and there is a slight moment of silence after.

“Yes, you are,” Alucard finally says, admiring the way your eyes sparkle in the moonlight. You don’t understand how true that statement really is to him, you are his angel. He loves nearly every little thing about you and he hates whenever you two fight. He hates whenever you two have to spend prolonged periods of time apart when you're sent out on separate missions.

You blush really hard, not knowing how to respond but you don’t have to give him one because Alucard passionately kisses you. Both of his rest on your hips while you already have your fingers entangled in his hair, it all happens so quickly and naturally that you don’t even notice.

All you can focus on is his soft lips against your own, that send goosebumps across your skin and your heart feels like it’s going to explode out of your chest. This is more than you could have ever imagined.

When your lips do finally part from his, you can’t help but get a bit bashful, which is an emotion you rarely feel. All you can do is look into his eyes and wish that you two could stay in this moment forever. But you start seeing the sky slowly getting lighter as the sun comes closer to rising from behind him. You softly say to him, “we should get back.”

“Indeed,” Alucard nods, letting go of your hips and taking a step back, he knows Integra is probably pissed at both of your absences right now, “and soon.”

You smirk, it’s time for another competition, “race ya!”

“Oh you’re on!” Alucard says with a huge grin.

You both take off at full speed back to the mansion, planning to beat each other to the front door but stopping when you see Sir Integra waiting outside of them. You two are in trouble, which is nothing new when it comes to Integra because you two don’t know how to stay out of trouble when you’re around each other.

Sir Integra can tell by the slight bow of both of your heads that you’re side eyeing each other with smirks on your face. She has honestly given up on trying to tame you so she can get Alucard back under control again because it’ll never work. You’re too much of a free spirit and Alucard can help but try to keep up with you because of the need to still prove he’s better than you even if it’s in an innocent way.

“What took you two so long to get back here?!” Integra angrily asks, knowing that she will only get part of the story because you two love to keep your secrets between each other.

“We were taking a walk and got distracted!” You quickly say before Alucard answers like you always do because he usually sucks at lying to Sir Integra.

Integra looks to Alucard and he gives her a nod, saving both your asses from having to confess every little detail of what actually happened. Integra would ask what you two got distracted by but she currently doesn’t care enough, as long as you two weren’t causing any chaos then she’ll let it go.

Besides, the sun was coming up soon, so with an annoyed sigh Integra waves her hand and says, “just go.”

You and Alucard both chuckle and go to the basement, doing what you usually do, which is hanging out in your room for a few hours before he leaves to go to bed. The reason your cellar is the designated room to hangout in is because you have furniture and appliances in it. Took you a while to convince Integra to let you have your semi-big cellar set up like a single room apartment but you were persistent and she finally gave in.

So you have your bed, dresser, nightstand, lamp, and a desk with a chair on one side of your room. Then you have a loveseat, with an end table that has a lamp on top of it on one side, then a mini fridge with a microwave on top of it on the other side. There is a coffee table sitting in front of the couch with a 48”in (121”cm) tv on top of it with a movie player sitting on the shelf below it. The reason you need to have a movie player is because you don’t get a signal when you’re in a basement, you’re lucky that you at least have outlets and electricity.

“Want to watch a movie?” You ask him while walking over to your dresser that has the movies sitting on top of it because you already know the answer. You two tend to watch a movie to unwind after a mission but sometimes end up talking through the whole thing because you’ve both watched them enough times to quote them word for word.

“Of course!” Alucard says with a smile and sits down on the loveseat, sitting how he always does- sprawled out. He sits very unprofessionally when he’s with you because well… you’re you and he knows he can sit comfortably when he’s with you. He sits with his body sunk into the corner of the loveseat with his legs spread apart and one arm laying across the back of it while the other is hanging off the armrest.

You grab his favorite movie along with a bag of microwave popcorn and go over to the couch, throwing the bag of popcorn in the microwave then putting in the movie. While you wait for the popcorn you grab your pjs and change right in front of him, like you have done a hundred times before now and before you two had feelings for each other.

Alucard was surprised the first time you ever changed in front of him and you told him it was no different from seeing someone in a bikini. So he doesn’t care anymore and is completely unaffected by it, though he has and always will be respectful and never look at you when you’re changing. Even if you’re always covered by a bra and panties.

By the time you’re done changing the popcorn is ready, so you grab it and sit how you always sit when you’re with him. Your body sunk into the other corner of the loveseat and with your legs draping over Alucard’s since his lanky ass self takes up so much goddamn room.

“Y’know,” you start to say after the end credits of the movie start to play and continue talking when Alucard looks over at you. With a playful smirk you say, “as my lover you should give me a foot massage.”

Alucard rolls his eyes but obliges and starts rubbing your feet, shaking his head in disbelief while doing it. He never would have thought he’d do such a thing especially for you. When he looks at the triumphant grin you have on your face he sarcastically says, “you’re spoiled.”

Your grin just gets wider, the idea of getting spoiled by anyone was never in your mind’s orbit. But now you’re being spoiled by the king of vampires, which is something you’re going to take great pride in. And of course you’re also going to reciprocate the gestures whenever you can, but for now you’re just going to bask in the glory of having such an amazing lover. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Alucard says sarcastically and continues to rub your feet, “just don’t let it get to your head.”

“Too late, it already has,” you playfully say and move your feet away from him because you were only joking anyway. Then you sit up and give him a kiss on the cheek, “now I know I got you wrapped around my finger.”

“You know, I can leave right now if you want to keep this up,” Alucard states and stands up, clearly not being serious by the smile he has on his face. You are right about the fact that you have him wrapped around your finger. He has been for awhile now, anywhere you go he’ll follow if he’s able, he’d be lost without you.

“Nooo!” You hold onto his arm and pull him back down onto the couch, “I don’t want you to go!”

Alucard laughs and kisses your cheek, “fine, fine, I won’t leave yet.”

“How spoiled would it be if I asked you to stay the day?” You shyly ask with no intentions of doing anything sexual, you just wanted to cuddle up in bed with him and fall asleep in his arms. There were a few times that you’ve accidentally fallen asleep on the couch in the middle of a movie with your legs still propped up on his. Which doesn’t seem like that big of a deal but it is because you need absolute silence in order to sleep. A water droplet could fall from the faucet from your bathroom sink and you’re up on high alert.

So it means something if you’re able to sleep through a movie filled with explosions only when he’s around and wake up as soon as he leaves the room. You might be as powerful as Alucard, but- even with how crazy it sounds- you feel safest when you’re with him.

Alucard smiles and wraps his arms around you to pull you closer. He gives you a kiss on the forehead and softly says, “of course I’ll spend the day with you.”

You smile and get off the couch, holding his hand as you walk over to the bed. Alucard undresses while he waits for you to get situated, but only down to his shirt and pants because he doesn’t want to possibly make you uncomfortable.

Alucard takes your hand when you hold it out to him and gets in bed, letting you lay on top of him with your face buried in the crook of his neck. He wraps his arms around you and the both of you drift to sleep within minutes.

=======

A/N: AH IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG

On a side note there might be an NSFW add on to this and y’all shouldn’t be surprised by that bc I’m a degenerate for this mansss

Also I was mainly focused on chapter three of Red Ink so I haven’t touched the other asks I got. But I promise Imma get to them🥲

[lovelessbachelor]

9, 11 and 15 for the ask game mwah mwah meah /plat <333

Mwah Mwah Mwah! Okay, I admit I had a lot of fun with this one. So. Long read ahead X'D

a radio fizzles to life, crackling with energy. The broadcast begins, illuminating sharp, tinny voices.

Oh, why, would you look at that! We got our first questions, O joy!

there's the sound of shuffling papers, and someone's throat is cleared.

Okay, these come from blog name cinnamon-phrog. Prynhawn da, Caru! Or, I suppose it is nos, now. I hope you're doing well.

Let's get crack into these queries! Dear, you've been quiet�� These questions ARE to you, you know…

A second voice cuts through the static, curling the air, the accent seems unfamiliar.

Ey, yeah, yeah, I know. Ya neva lemme come in ere when ya on air.

Well, I'm also not on air very often. Since when do you keep count?

I don't, but, ey, maybe ya do instead. Ya seem the real bees knees at this thing.

there's a slight pause, a chair creaks.

Aha. Trying to stall? What, you don't think you have the voice for radio?

a splutter can be heard through the static, or it's a spike of interference.

Nah! As if, brah! Your voice was made for radio, anyway, ya can't say nuffin, muffin.

EW, don't call me that. And you'll be fine, we have a script.

Das not a-

there's the sound of frantically shuffling pages getting picked up by the microphone.

Shhhh, stalling!!!

Right, first question :

the host clears his throat, and a beat on the table gets picked up, from the wafery sound of a page being flipped, you can surmise on what it was.

Fresh, whats my beige flag?

…Ya what now? Ya don't even like beige, n'less is like a light brown.

No, no, not like that. I'll be entirely transparent and admit I don't quite know what it is, either. Perhaps the middle of a red flag, and a green flag?

Ohhh, ya, alrigh. I geddit.

Do ya, Fresh? Do ya?

AAAH, shuddup. Oh, ya, I got one.

there's another swell of static smearing the sound, picking up suddenly.

He keeps on tryna-

No I don't!

Yeah, ya do! Ya aaaalways like hey for no particular reason can I measure ya a minute and I ask why and ya like-

the broadcast fuzzes, it spikes like laughter.

-an I walk in on 'im with a roll a that paper and a thing on the floor-

It's PATTERN paper and a BOOK OF PATTERNS!

Ah, I caught ya!

Lies!

it cuts out again, fading in and out before settling in stronger.

Even so, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to make you a doublet!

Yeah dere is! What am I a blood sucking, door-not-entering vampire?

it's hard to hear, but the host squeaks in amusement

No, you misunderstand! I think that you in a doublet with a peascod belly would be SO-

the connection is abruptly cut off, filling the room with angry static. When it comes back, you can make out a high whistle.

Woahhh, can ya even say dat on radio?

I'm not sure, let's just hope it didn't pick up.

And if it did?

Nnnnext question!

Fresh, what would you consider MY colour, and what would you consider yours?

Are dey seriously askin ME ya favourite colour?

Uhm, yes? Maybe. Not entirely, actually, it's more like what you'd consider MY colour. Like what you'd associate with me most, what I wear the most or something.

Pft. C'mon, homes, dat ones easy. Have ya even met dis guy? Is pretty glarin'.

Now what the [FUNK] is that supposed to mean- are you seriously still doing the censoring thing?!

EY, don't rag on me, whaddif deres kidz listening!

I suppose that's a good point. How nice of you.

Bleeehhh.

a pause, then…

! Whad was dat for!

The sweet taste of revange…

a megamind reference doesn't seem thematically appropriate, but the host will include it anyways. It's MY show, dammit!

Regardless, you still didn't answer the second half. (even if you didn't really answer the first half, either…)

Whad was dat?

Nothing.

'Key, well, I dunno. I dun have A colour, das pretty crystal.

Maybe your colour is the inclusion of all of it?

Beeep, eeeerk, big word aleeeert! Neeerd!

None of those were big words…

What's the most useless fact he knows about me…

Ya said dat out loud, sweet.

Oh, dear, did I? I was just wondering about it.

Why's dat?

Not sure. I can't predict what you could possibly say here. Not that I do anyway, but you understand what I mean.

Nah, I don't, actually.

Also, ya always start walkin on ya left foot first, and finish on da right.

Wait wha-

the sound of wood scraping against a floor can be distantly heard from the broadcast, and there is silence for a long few moments

…Oh my stars, I do. Well, it might be biased, now…

Hah!

That's crazy. Hold on… You could remember THAT and not my favourite colour?!

Dere was nuthin about dat!

Well sure. But you couldn't even answer straight about what my colour was, so I'm more than a bit suspicious.

Aw, c'mon! Ya favourite colour is… Uh… Uuuuh…

See? Viewers, it's green and purple, for the books.

Ya can't blame me, ya have two!

Yes, and your colours consist of the entire colour wheel.

Das cus I don't look bad in nuthin, baybeyyyy!

Oh, like a pair of breeches?

Nah, ya reaching.

Breeching, actually. It was and is the practice of giving a young boy his first set of trousers or, well, breeches. This is usually done around the age of 6-8 ish, so the very beginning of childhood and the end of infancy. Before this age, a child was practically-

Wait, why do I need ta know dis?

Ugh, you're no fun!

I just noticed, we got through all the questions.

What'd we get, three?

Yes, three. Now those are done we'll sign off for now til we get more questions.

Jus like dat?

Yup! Be sure to tune in!