#just to be an EXTRA ASSHOLE
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For the Master: A scented candle... labeled "Mountain Lodge."
Somehow, even underwater, it's temporally locked in a perpetually-burning state.
There's a note with it, unsigned, that says:
Since you're so jealous of us.
He looks onto the candle that is somehow still burning even while underwater. He grumbles a bit... then smirks. It still uses wax and oil to burn, yes? âSin of Lust. Come over here.â
Oh, boy, Guy is just enjoying being the Favorite Thrall of the hour. That is sarcasm, by the way. âDo you want me to put it out for you, Master?â
âNo need. Just sit here.â
âWhat do you n-â
âRemember how the Noblemanâs Son was able to pay you enough to get that nice blue coat you got for your brother? The same one he complained about because it was the wrong color?â
The Master then proceeds to pour the wax directly into Guyâs eyes. Guy screams as he is momentarily blinded from the hot wax.
âIâm certain thatâs not how the sex act works, but itâs the general idea. You mock me, I will use your gestures against you. If not you directly, then through my thralls. You are not the first. You will not be the last. I devoured this oneâs Captain for being commanded to punch me, and I drowned a thousand souls for someone turning their ship into gingerbread. Take caution when you mock me. You may not be the one punished... but someone will be.â
#violence tw#racy tw#manipulation tw#eye injury tw#abuse tw#[The Master]#[Guy Duchamp]#be wary when you mock the Master#he will find a way to punish the Crew for it instead of you directly#just to be an EXTRA ASSHOLE#[Atz'lut v' Ta'avah]
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Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)
TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.
(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)
This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.
---------------
Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.
....
The kid is a surprise though.
Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.
There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.
The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.
The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.
He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.
A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.
At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.
Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.
Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"
The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."
Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.
"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."
He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.
The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.
"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.
The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.
Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.
The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.
Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."
#I have never seen Batman (2022) so really I'm just using battinson and crew as templates for my fic. but hey what else is new lol#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc fic#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc fanfic#i dont know shit about detective work or true crime so forgive me for any bad terminology or incorrect procedure for how these things work#just a fun rough idea for how i imagined gordon's first meeting with nightingale goes LMAO. im sticking to the idea that danny doesn't#officially join the field for a *while* due to more than just health reasons. so his first appearances are brief and usually to give B smth#danny: im only here as express delivery for vader's little brother over there. yall stay safe tho.#bruce: *kill bill sirens bass-boosted* ohmygodwhatishedoinghere#batman: how did you get here... | danny: you have so many spare grappling hooks it was pr easy to just grab one and go#also danny is whispering on purpose because he doesn't have his ghost form to fall back on as a secret identity. so he *is* actually taking#extra steps to keep his identity safe. and people usually sound different when they're whispering. he also has personal beef with#office martinez despite the fact that they've never met. Danny's HEARD of his ass. he hATES his ass.#Martinez: *to batman* freak | danny: im going to Bite Him. | batman (reluctantly): hmr. please don't. | danny: im going for his shins#Martinez and Nightingale have this whole thing going on between the two of them. danny WILL slap a sticky note on Martinez's back that says#'asshole' on it and its the one spot square on his spine that martinez can't reach.#someone: why are you beefing with like. an actual 12 year old | martinez: HE'S A LITTLE RAT. THAT'S WHY. he's here to torment me#battinson: *did you grapple the whole way here* | danny: yah. it was kinda fun. i would've gotten here faster but i kept having to stop#battinson: *hnnn* im driving you back | danny:.. are you sure? | battinson already pulling him out of the room: y e s#i've been thinking about this for literally WEEKS. what did bruce forget? good question! i'll figure that out if or when i get to this#danny has Issues behind the word freak so its like a mini beserker button for him regardless of who the word is aimed at lol. lmao#martinez calls batman a freak once while nightingale is within range and its just the doom ost as danny simply Disappears from sight#like oops. you are now. In Danger. rip couldn't be me.#blood blossom au
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đ
#i redrew a wip i made months ago and it looked way better than the og so i finished it đ#they are young adults here (like 18-20 range) this is just before they go to college đ#i wanted to include more things with this but ill just post them separately later đ im lazy sorry#i wanna explain their friendship but words hard. basically clippy is a bit of a punching bag but he sticks with bonzi regardless#bonzi is an asshole and has almost gotten the both of them in trouble multiple times. Not a great influence#to bonzi clippy is like his own chatgpt or some shit. does his homework for him. his own personal nerd#clippy didnt realize he was being used for a long time because he was gullible đ HES OK NOW THO#virtual assistants#clippy#bonzi buddy#gijinka#object head#webcore#digital art#doodle#i said i would draw a happy clippy but um. đ ILL DRAW SOMETHING CUTE LATER i mean hes kinda cutes here but with extra context its âšď¸#im still figuring out how to draw this stupid gorila
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Look I'm just excited to see him as a Turk in FF7R3 okay
I recently got back into sketching and it's been equal parts cathartic and infuriating. So I began with a muse of mine (*cough*Vincent*cough*) and he hasn't let me down so far tbh
Even if I have to wait another 4 years it'll be so worth it
#ff7#ff7 fanart#final fantasy vii#vincent valentine#turk Vincent#You know these scenes are gonna be absolutely heartwrenching tho if they address them in Rebirth#Yes I made him extra shifty#Just imagine he's watching Hojo being an asshole#ff7 rebirth#ff7r#sketch#illustrator
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SFX: *CRACK* *BANG*
Nightmare: . . .
Dust: . . .
Nightmare: -
Nightmare: the other door wasn't blocked........
#fnaf au#dust sans#nightmare sans#(for those who can't read analog clocks it's almost 6am)#imagine kicking a door and it just explodes#and then Dust quit (lie) (Nightmare wishes this was true)#anyways this asshole is too good at surviving but the extra door bit was too good to pass up#annoying Nightmare is fun#bruh i should've just had Horror be the third nightguard#why is it whenever i GO for angst it turns funny and visa versa#this turned from a horror (no pun intended) timeline to a funny goofy one#i have plans for Horror (character) on second thought#queue
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âIs consort the same in all languages?â
I believe so Khonshu says.
âŚ
I finally got around to doing some Fanart of my all time favorite Moon Knight fic series- We don't need to say it to each other by: deadonarrival on Ao3.
I donât know if the author is here on tumblr or not. D=
Those fics= fucking perfection. Do mind the tags tho if you go looking, here there be monster(fucking).
#Jake Lockley#Jake Lockley/Khonshu#Moon Knoght#fic rec#Seriously tho one of my most favorite representations of Jake and Khonshu both. Itâs so fucking good. đ#I re-read it like once a month lately#Those fics largely inspired my Hunters Knight comic!#Itâs also one of the few fics out there that donât paint Khonshu as an evil asshole and I love it extra more for that đđĽ°#bird dad is a good boyfriend XD#Consort Jake is perfection and I just want them both to be able to be happy.#they live in my head rent free
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Continuing to clean up my files, I've come across some sketches I did for @pickledcarrotsandradish 's Reverse Order fic, which is.
Uh.
The future timeline, but what if the death orders of the turtles was reversed. And I, like a fool! Like an absolute dumbass! Was like, " oh I've read plenty of fics where I've seen each and every of the characters die. I'll be fine!"
I was not fine!
So like! Spoilers!
But, uh. I am in shambles.
I highly recommend op's other Rise fics; they're all very good!
And this next sketch isn't really based on any fic, but loosely inspired by the above mentioned fic, and a few others, making brain go:
"huh, I wonder what kinda krang designs the other boys would have?"
Fucked up!
#illustration#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt fanart#body horror#digital art#injury#tmnt#kraang#rottmnt krang#rise krang#i guess- it legit did not occur to me that krang shit counts until recently bc i. like stated above! am very very stupid#i do love pickledcarrotsandradishes other rise fics but i appear to be under a weird and specific curse where everytime i try to draw for#them-specifically Times Five- everything turns out just. horrifically off model and ugly as shit. i have several half done sketch pages.#the gods are laughing at me#i tried to be like. deliberate with the krang transformations to reflect like. character and narrative shit. dunno if i succeeded.#uh for some extra horror i figure mikeys extra strong mystics would be constantly fighting the krang goop and thus! hed be kinda fully awar#donnied maybe be stuck in a loop where hes getting the information but hes completely disconnected from his brain. and the krang are keepin#leo conscious on purpose. bc theyre assholes
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shoutout to media with only one female character thatâs just a vessel for a sexual assault and/or pregnancy plot line with very little or no characterization beyond that
#inspired by#mouthwashing#thereâs other media this relates to#Iâm just thinking a lot about this game right now#idk I love the game and its art direction and the story is still amazing#it just sucks that anya wasnât as developed as the other characters#and felt like more of a tool to make jimmy more of an unsympathetic asshole#almost everything about her revolved around jimmy#I guess you could make an argument that since jimmy is an unreliable narrator that anyaâs lack of character is how he views her#sheâs nothing to him#but even the sections playing as curly she falls kinda flat and still involves jimmy#idk maybe Iâm being too critical#Iâm just kinda tired of plot lines like these#where women are reduced down to their trauma and thatâs all they are#not saying they shouldnât exist!! they are still valid stories#I just wish they had more tact#I understand though that this is an indie title with only so much time and resources to put into such a big project#and I understand that more time was probably put into the art direction and gameplay and coding than just some extra lines of dialogue
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Thinking about how that recent interview with Gooseworx revealed that Ragatha really likes horror movies, implying that the statement she made in the first episode of centipedes being âliterally her only fearâ was not an exaggeration like I originally thought.
#makes me wonder how Jax figured out her fear#it wouldnât make sense if she just told him#perhaps he noticed how hard it was to genuinely frighten her so he started paying more attention to sniff out any kind of weakness#her reaction to his prank in the pilot implies that itâs not a regular occurrence so he must have found out about it recently#my guess is that he got lucky catching her freaking out at the sight of one and decided to store this info for later ammunition#I can imagine him trying to find anything that scares her and being extremely annoyed when nothing works#so when he does learn about her phobia heâs extra excited#Jax is an asshole. More at 11:00#the amazing digital circus#tadc#ragatha#jax
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ive never liked powerless saiki aus because the entire conclusion of the series is him accepting his powers as being a part of him that he cant change so like.. in aus where the power remover works, half of his development is erased..
if he had been "powerless" for longer, we wouldve gotten to see him realize this himself and im genuinely sad that we didnt.. we got to see him realize that being powerless wasnt the change he wished it would be and that its something he cant change, but its literally over a two day long period and we miss out on sooo much potential development..
and then in aus where hes born powerless, people think he would have the exact personality and development that he THOUGHT he would if he got rid of/didnt have his powers, like NO ? "without powers he would be another satou-" NO he would be a shy, borderline flamboyant, weird, awkward, genius LOSER.
he would have a more normal relationship with his brother (still probably competitive but in a way more average sibling way and kusuke wouldnt have had the motivation to become so murderous) and he would probably be even more friendless but with less trauma.. he may or may not have ever befriended akechi at all, and the classroom incident wouldnt have happened.. even some of his current friends might not be around if not for coincidences due to his powers or direct involvement from his powers.. (nendo and kaido would for sure still be there though, but this only ensures the idea that he would be the biggest fcking loser ever)
he would still be saiki, but. his powers are a key part of him. he would be totally different without them, but NOT in the way he thinks he would..
#also realistically he would be just as much of a stubborn asshole tsundere without his powers cmon#like yea his anxiety might present itself more as shyness than it does in canon him#but hes still an awkward stubborn asshole tsundere like thats just who the guy is#hes extra shy and maybe extra cute without his abilities to make people not find him cute#and is also like extremely ditzy and clumsy like he is in canon but its more visible to people because he doesnt have the powers to hide it#idk the point is his little quirks he thinks he wouldnt have would still be there but he wouldnt have the same faux justifications for them#need canon saiki to see an alternate universe him where he was born powerless#and hes like 'wow im going to see my ideal average me!'#and then au him is some super quirky ditzy clumsy kid with severe anxiety and also dysphoria#and he doesnt have powers to avoid being bullied like we see him do multiple times#this guy doesnt realize he will always be a loser no matter what#he loses key parts of himself and doesnt even realize that a lot of the parts left behind are still parts of himself that he hates#i know a lot of people think he would be much less jaded powerless which i get but#a lot of aspects of his personality that have less to do with his powers are a lot of the parts that he doesnt like and gets made fun of fo#so he would probably only be slightly less jaded and his awkwardness would just weigh it out a little more#though its hard to pinpoint exactly which aspects of him are only due to his powers#a lot of them are but i personally think those specific key personality traits would remain#anyway i would love to see what his relationship with his family would be like if he was born powerless#and i want to know who his friends would be#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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pep and his basketballs
#adventure time#not art#princess pep's little sports stuff with the flowers on them. actually . makes me crazy#princess pep makes me insane a lot. hes all grown up and hes so new. look at what he thinks is important#his wizard stuff and his little boy things.#hes messier than peps og ever would have been and his mom never wouldve let him decorate the entire castle in wizard runes before#growth. the.#gripping him in my hands. im so proud of him#THERES SO MUCH GRAFFITI ON THIS ONE SINGLE POSTER. I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THE EXTRA T SHUTTUPPPPP#one thing about wizard kids is sthey are insufferable assholes and they cant stop themselves from drawing on walls#i couldve sworn pep held a basketball at some point but im not sure anymore. he didnt during the talent show. just stood there.#ok enough tag talk begone beast#maybe im just thinking of him being there when jake is like 'those guys threw a basketball at my head one time'. in You Made Me
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Oh my god. There's a mayoral debate going on in São Paulo and one candidate (Datena) hit the other (Marçal) with a chair.
The video is so funny
Just... "alpha male" Marçal accusing Datena of not being man enough to do anything to him, followed by "No, Datena! No! Nooo!!" in the background as Datena comes into frame and hits him with a chair, cutting to a different camera right as he hits, the moderator going "OUR COMMERCIALS, PLEASE", a "son of a bitch!!" yelled out in the background...
Rationally I know it's awful, it's shameful, but right now I just can't stop laughing.
#''HERE COMES DATENA WITH A STEEL CHAIR!''#man what the fuck is even going on here#if anyone wants a bit of extra context on the involved:#Marçal somehow got really popular but everyone else just hates him a lot. he's an influencer type asshole. ex-''life coach''#so a lot of people really enjoyed seeing him finally get hit after such a long time of him being very punchable and annoying#Datena was a tv personality who then decided to go into politics and he's really dejected bc he's not that popular among voters#not taken super seriously i think#so i imagine not that many people are sad that he's gonna get in trouble for what he did#I don't know a whole lot more than that. I'm not from São Paulo#also when asked Datena said that of course he doesn't regret it#brasilposting#my stuff
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my heart honestly goes out to the ppl who dont gaf about or dont like march hes inescapable in the tags and gets so much more fan content than the rest of the cast when theyre so good
#he sucks and i see why ppl would hate him considering he is a huge asshole#unfortunately im afflicted with the disease#but also like hes the only character to be even remotely apprehensive about you showing up for a free farm with presumably#no experience whatsoever#which is ABSOLUTELY what my farmer is like in my mind#and i think its extra funny that hes like mostly just jealous when in reality his distrust is like genuinely founded#in my beautiful mind palace my farmer works so hard to get close to him because he is afraid the town is gonna realize march is right and#hes gonna get kicked out and lose everybody/everything :^)#my farmer forging a genuine bond with someone he starts to rly care about: god im an evil manipulator he should hate me forever#erm anywuays.. more fields of mistria fanart soon probably maybe hopefully
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Why op so pissed that they had to be mean to me specifically a month later, how tf was i supposed to scry out their roommateâs gender from this? I made an educated guess on the Turning Into A Girl webbed site, sorry i was wrong, shall i commit seppuku with a live grenade in my mouth in penance?
#my stuff#literally first thing i see in my activity#like oobh somebody took an extra dose of asshole pills today#i just woke up youâre not allowed to be mean to me
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if you as a fic reader ever become possessed by the urge to do a popularity bracket with the fics other people wrote and shared for fun and for free, consider:
don't â¤ď¸Â
#just!!!! make a rec list!!!!!!!!!#popularity contests do nothing but drive writers out of fandoms by pitting people against their friends#and invariably result in people being assholes in the comments as if the people who wrote the fic can't see it#like ''oh clearly fic x is better than fic y''#or ''why is fic c even in this poll?''#nobody gains anything by you doing a bracket to see which fic is the ''most popular''#a stat which could be found more easily & less cruelly by simply hitting the sort by bookmarks/kudos button on ao3#anyway ugh. i saw that one of my fics was being pitted against one of my friend's fics in this bracket that's going around#and i have no idea who is ''winning'' because i refuse to look. but either way it's gonna feel bad!!!#because i want my friend to get his flowers so i want him to win!!! but i also would like to know that people like my fic!!!!#so it's just a lose/lose situation even though i generally don't give a shit about numbers#but this turns it into a schoolyard popularity thing#and the emotional response to having people *vote* on if your work is *better or worse* than other fic is hard to ignore#cannot reiterate enough JUST MAKE A REC LIST#or if you absolutely must do a bracket like this do it in a private chat server or something#don't create a public forum for people to pass value judgements where the authors can see it#and feel bad if they get told their fic is ''worse'' than someone elses#but also feel bad if they get told theirs is ''better'' because it came at the cost of telling another author they weren't good enough#ANYWAY i still feel sick with a super sore throat and a headache & am probably extra cranky because of it#(still testing negative thankfully so it's probably just weather/allergen related)#gonna go make some tea and prep the fic updates i want to post today#cass says things#fandom problems#wank adjacent
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I feel you, Felix...
#sims shenanigans extras#oc: felix#if only I was playing Tony...I carry a freeze ray around just for these celebrity assholes lol
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