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brynhildr13 · 8 months ago

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About the GazettE.

TL;DR I had recent experiences that reinforce my belief that Reita REALLY is still with me and with all of us. Even if they can be easily explained as coincidental. Please if you want, share something that has been helpful to heal. Take care. Gazerock is not dead. Gazerock never dies.

Full post under cut.

I consider myself spiritual, but not really religious. But let me take you through my last few days, if you so care. Its important to me and I want to share this in hopes that the others in this Fandom know that I share the pain and want to spread my own love and solace and peaceful mourning.

I took an hour drive to my twin sister's to have our birthday hangout on Wednesday. I had the GazettE on plus other vkei groups on shuffle, but I kept skipping most of the other groups trying to find the GazettE songs. A few came on and even with the heavy and rock and headbanging songs I was just sobbing. To the point where I told myself, "you have to keep your eyes open. You need to watch the road." But the TEARS were plenty and heavy. I also started to judge myself a little. Wondering why I was SO emotional.

Then I had one of those intuitive downloads where like, you know it didn't come from your own brain and then after you hear it your mind expands. I don't know who's voice it was. I couldn't repeat it if I tried. But it said, quote "but feeling is healing."

And I lost it all over. Because I knew it was right and I needed to sit with the feelings. So I let myself cry as much as I could.

And then, To Dazzling Darkness came on.

My favorite song. Well, one of them. The whole Beautiful Deformity album is iconic, but that song specifically is one of my favorites BECAUSE of Reita's bass part. (Plus my twin sister, with her music degree, thinks the song is well written and can back up why and that means a lot to me that my sister who isn't the most into heavy metal or knows the group near as well as I do likes THEIR songs BECAUSE they're good).

And after that I laughed a little and wiped my eyes and said, "ok. I get it. It has to mean you're here right now. Thank you."

Maybe it came from Reita. I'd like to think so.

Had tons of fun with my sister. Come home. Worked Thursday. That night i shed a tear or two as i watched a few music videos in bed. And i just said outloud and in my head. "As long as he's okay. I'd like a sign that he's okay, please." And i fell asleep. Fast forward to today.

Today's our birthday. I planned to grab my free trenta from Starbies cuz $0 is the only amount I'll pay there unless I'm desperate. When I got to the screen in the drive thru, i meant to order 2 cake pops for my treat. Cuz fuck it. Im desperate. I'm a sad bitch and I want cake. It's my birthday. But I have anxiety and panicked and ended up asking for them at the drive thru window instead.

And they gave me the pops and I waited to hand them my card and after a few seconds she came back up and said, "oh don't worry about them today. No charge." Once I was sure they didn't want my money I thanked them profusely.

And I drove away. And I smiled from inside. Cuz I'd like to think that that was my sign he's okay. Maybe he pulled some strings to make me smile and to say, with that grin on his face, "don't worry about me. I'm here. I'll be here. Have a cake pop you sad bitch."

I meant it when I said before his spirit is here.. there's truly a feeling of the hole in my heart filling a little. I feel like emotionally and spiritually he's here in my peripheral stronger than ever before. Especially because I had become more of a backseat fan that would slink out of the woodwork when they had new content. My "obsession" (hyperfixation) died down a lot after saw them in 2016 and 2019, and I shared my gift of art and they shared their gift of music. But that love and adoration never ever left regardless of how often I talked about it and showed it. Or didn't. Cuz NO ONE else in my every day immediate circle knows anything about them.

Cuz here's the thing, and this is just me, too. I don't have any better way or words to string together to say this other than this way. I KNOW that they don't "know me". Like , I'm not missing the physical presence like they are. I didn't sit with him every day talking about all the most common shared passionate things we're doing, etc. Etc. So I can argue for myself that because of that the burden is likely to not be as heavy as any of theirs. But music and the arts connects hearts and minds beyond the physical. And for me listening to the music keeps him close, and I almost think that I can Feel him when I hear it. I can imagine him putting a hand on my shoulder (with his endearingly weird thumbs, they always made me giggle.)

Idk I think Im getting a little off track. Long story short, he was physically here with me when he was at the shows. When he wasn't he was still there, off across the world, doing his thing. and while I knew that like in an unconscious way, i never really sat with that to be like "what are they doing right this moment" or that i could energetically feel them all at any time, you know? And I remember getting upset with myself cuz my first coherent thought after I metaphorically picked my stomach off the ground after it fell out of my butt was "well, it HAS to be ok cuz the world's still gonna turn." And that felt horrible to say. And that's not fair to me or to anyone who needs time to process this. I mean, YA, I GUESS, it WILL. But once again. This WILL still hurt for a while. And that's okay. That doesn't mean i have to "get over" it right away either. Cuz once again. The physical loss isn't felt (yet) or as heavy as the bandmen will feel. But I will feel. And my feelings are my truth. And i can argue the band itself will have worse grieving till the sun dies, and that still doesn't mean my feelings are literally less than for my own personal experience. And thats okay.

But getting back to the point of this, thinking and believing Reita's making his way to us, I now just have this new vibration around me that I know is spiritual in nature and it is energizing the room, especially when I play their music. He's here.

I keep thinking about The Haunting of Hill House and Nell's words in the last episode. And I don't want that to ever fade. I'm determined to keep him strong in my heart and my mind. Just like ruki said he and the guys would.

Anyways, I hope yall are feeling as okay as you can. I hope this may touch someone and bring more healing. Free to share things in the comments if you want, too.

#the gazette #reita #visual kei #he's still here and he always will be.#gazerock is not dead #gazerock never dies

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electrons2006 · 6 months ago

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Taken and Tortured Part 1

WARNING : THE FOLLOWING STORY HAS SCENES OF TORTURE THAT CA BE DISTURBING. VIEWERS DISCRETION ADVISED.

Things have been calm recently. Whumper hasn't made a move in almost a month. Maybe they've moved on. Whumpee can finally leave their home. They go on a stroll. It's been almost an entire year since they've walked on this path.

Suddenly a van drives right in front of them onto the foot path. "Hey man watch where you're driving". The driver turns to whumpee with a grin "Did you miss me?" It was whumper. Whumpee's eyes go wide in fear but before they could turn to run they get hit in the back of the head and fall unconscious.

They wake up with a throbbing head ache in the back of the van. Hands tied behind their back, legs tied and a gag in their mouth. They groan from the severe head ache. Whumper who is now sitting passenger's seat looks behind. "You thought I was gone did you? Oh no no no. You ratted me out to the cops. Cost me half my business. You will pay for that. In blood." Whumpee now terrified tries to break free from their bonds and scream for help but it's no use. The gag prevents any sound from leaving their mouth

The drive lasts very long." Where are they taking me? " Whumpee wonders. Finally when they reach, 2 strong hands yank whumpee out of the back of the van and tie their hands and feet to the corner of a table . "Take off the gag. I want to hear them yell. Hear them beg. Beg for their death". Whumpee gulps. "Where have you taken me?" they ask with a shaky voice. "Far enough so that no body can find you. Especially that caretaker of yours." whumper replies smugly.

Anyways enough of chit chat. Lets get down to business shall we?" . "The acid is ready boss" a man says from outside the room. "Excellent. Bring it in" Whumper says, smirking, looking whumpee dead in the eye while putting on rubber gloves. Tears roll down whumpee's eyes. They have been subjected to torture before but this felt diffrent. A huge vessel with fumic acid is brought in the room. Whumpee's eyes go wide. "Oh god. Please no. Please don't do this." Their sobs turn into cries. "This" whumper interrupts "is very concentrated sulfuric acid" they say as they take the flask from their henchmen.

Whumper signals to one of the henchmen who rips whumper's t shirt off leaving their torso bare. Whumpee clenches their teeth to prepare for what is to come but nothing can prepare them for it. Whumper pours the acid on their skin slowly. Whumpee starts yelling their voice echoing off the walls of the room. Layers of their skin start to peel off. Their body tenses. They struggle to get free from their bonds but nothing helps. Whumper starts laughing at the sight.

By the time the acid is over whumpee's body is severely burnt. Only a very thin layer of skin is left and is bright red. Whumpee's screams don't stop. It still burns. Whumper walks over to the other room and comes out with a whip. If whumpee's eyes were wide in terror before it was nothing compared to now. They had an idea of what whumper had planned for them. "please. I'm begging you. Don't do this please. Oh god. Have mercy" Whumpee wails. This is exactly what whumper wanted to hear, but there will be no mercy. Whumper whips whumpee hard on their burnt torso. There is a loud sound and blood splatters everywhere. The whip cut deep into whumpee's flesh. They scream louder than ever. Whumper keeps whipping whumpee rapidly. There's blood everywhere and whumpee passes out a couple of times. Whumpee is now gasping for breath.

After about 10 minutes of non stop whipping whumper stops. They're covered in whumpee's blood. "Had fun? I sure did. This is just the start" they say as they lick whumpee's blood from their face. Whumpee is in shock and unable to reply. "A doctor will be here soon to fix you up and prepare you for more." With that whumper exits the room.

#whump writing #whumpee #whump #torture #creative writing #whump community #writing #whump torture

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imzsuzsis-blog · 7 months ago

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"Dude, how much do you eat a day?"

A couple of them smiled at me when I got out of the car with Loki, this time I didn't come by plane but by car, it may have been a long journey, but with my mobile phone switched off, I never talked so much and so much about everything with anyone in my life, it's true that I had to turn it on a couple of times to pay because my card is on it, but whatever there was no shortage of the usual iPhone ringtone to keep ringing and calling me for all kinds of shit.

"I don't eat as much with it as I used to."

"Nana Lando."

"Hey, Loki, at least not now, please."

"Puppy eyes are still effective."

"Loki, stop, I really should have gone to DR Yin today, but I couldn't."

"Your little baby is so cute, my heart is good for you, your pregnancy is happier."

"Who is pregnant?"

"My cousin."

"Yes, I understand, but did I see that you were with a guy? This will be the bombshell news, Lando Norris is secretly dating a guy."

"Shut up Zak, your love life is also crap, you f2 fool."

"Blah, it's still bad, you f1 bastard, if it comes out and who gets it, because this is Italy and it's the hotbed of gossip magazines, so you'll be on the front pages everywhere, not just here, Marca and all over England."

,,Go to hell!!!!!!!"

Crying, I got back into the car, closed the door on myself and started shaking while lying on my side.

"Come out, he's gone."

"He's not a dick!"

"Come on, it's okay, it's really not here."

"Even then, I'm not afraid of gossip and the fact that half the field will gossip about me, that is, about us."

"It's stupid, Lando they don't do it, they're not like that."

I caressed him face, he still trembles, no matter how quickly I looked for a bag and her breakfast came out immediately, I kissed him, the doctor worriedly told me to keep an eye on him, he doesn't have any sudden vomiting again.

"I can't stand it if a scumbag kid from nowhere tells me when I'm coming out, let them all die!!!!"

Screaming and sobbing, sitting on the seat, he buried his face in his hands, I knelt down in front of him and caressed his back and I could still vomit, he had quite a panic attack, it happened a few days ago at the competition, I could hardly stand him, finally his brother was there and he called the mother, who is him neurologist, and within a few hours we knew what the situation was and what needed to be done. They said to somehow avoid the unwanted elements, take them to a quiet place and then secretly take them home and lay them down to sleep.

"Calm down, calm down, you're just having a panic attack." Air in and out great.”

I've seen worse from him, but again I grabbed the back of his neck from behind, we pressed our foreheads together, his eyes were wide and he was still shaking, he clenched his hands together with his lower arms in front of him into fists, I knew he was afraid at this time, he just needed to calm down.

"The monster boy is already gone, look."

,,No!!!! The monster boy is still here!!! I am afraid of him!!!!"

"Kids, Lando is gone, haven't you seen him?"

,,No!"

"Paul, that wasn't funny."

"It's good in the parking lot, you fight with Zak, but Zak didn't know the truth, he said that the newspaper would be full of rumors about Lando, but that's not the case."

"How can someone be such a big dick."

"I don't know, Zak isn't like that, especially if they talk back to him saying that his love life is crap, which isn't true, his partner just won't bring him out here."

"Thanks for telling me, I'll go out to the parking lot and look for him and Loki."

I cut off my bag in front of the headquarters and ran out to where Lando was burping, shaking on Loki's shoulder, maybe he should have used harsher words, Zak terrorized him and is going to pack up because of a guy he saw next to him, Loki is no more than Martin and we know that, and Lando is very it's better with Martin, all the little secrets are told to him by his good friends.

"Loki, this was mental terror that the guy did, he wants and will spit for good money, but then they forget."

"To hell with them all."

"Lando, Lando, look at me, the bastard is terrorizing you, don't leave yourself anywhere you can, talk back to him in the press."

"No, it won't work, I'm sorry, in the latter years, many people will tell me because my belly is growing, but not kindly, but rudely,"

Kika began. I collapsed between the two of them, trembling, and we started walking.

,,She continued after I told her that I was gay, she laughed at me even more and said that a Formula 1 driver only likes girls and my boyfriend shows it, well here I saw that he and Pierre were on the verge of breaking up, I called Pierre over and I told him everything and I can only hope that he will tolerate this homo and transphobic girl."

"Just one sentence, you don't smell like cigarettes."

"DR Yin spoke to me."

,,Jesus! Lando!”

No matter how many boyfriends I had, I rushed over to help and took over from Loki.

"Leave it to me."

"Mental terror is the work of a dick."

"There you go? Oscar, I can't believe this, he's a Formula 3 guy who wants to be a star."

"He's in Formula 2 and he just wanted to start with a big one."

"But he's a bastard."

,,Puppy!!!"'

,,Lando don't..."

,,Our name is Leo."

Charles smiled at us and let him pet him. Lando also seemed to be a little happier.

"Lando, call Charles Pope Charles and Pope Leo."

,,Pope."

We held our foreheads with our palms, Lando was so hot now, instead of coming into his box with us, he wanted a dog.

"He was a dog, but he was still a dog."

He moaned and meowed along beside us, he had to see Leo's dog.

"When... Let's go... One of the pilots wants a dog."

"Lando, stop it, you'll have a dog or some other kind of pet or animal that your child wants."

"Stop, stop child? who is pregnant?”

I froze in a minute, I was hoping that it was just a permanent reception, Lando boy.

"Me, what's wrong?"

"But you're a boy, aren't you?"

He shook his head and licked his mouth.

"Technically, I'm a girl and I have a boy, I have a uterus and a vagina, but I was born a girl..."

"Please don't continue, I've solved it, you're intersex and a transsexual man."

He was still licking the corner of his mouth.

,,I am gay."

"How the hell is that... Do you have a boyfriend, I mean, someone you go out with"

"Did Loki?"

"Nothing, nothing but have you told your bosses yet?"

He looked down then slowly looked up and shook his head.

"Not yet, but you should."

"Lando, can we talk?"

,,Yes?"

I turned around and realized I was in a pickle. I didn't say anything about being pregnant or gay, but I completely left out the fact that I'm an intersex and transgender man.

"What is this belly?"

I knew I had to tell the truth that I don't go to restaurants as much as the photos attest that I eat properly.

"The point is that you can't hide or pretend any longer, I'm pregnant, a formula 2 boy slipped in, that's it."

I sat down and sipped my decaffeinated latte and started crying again.

"No, that's not what it's about if you're here with a guy, if you're not always seen with Magui. Now what, are you bisexual?”

I even froze the whipped cream and spat it at Stella in shock.

"It's not bullshit, I don't date her and I heard her name from another boy for the first time in my life, I'm gay, the one you see is my boyfriend, we've been dating at the same time and we've even moved in together."

"Isn't it too early to do this with your WAG?"

I thought about it, shook myself, and realized that because of the little guy, he doesn't care, his father can't interfere, and I won't get into another fucking adoption fight, he's mine, whether it's a girl or a boy.

"My answer about adaptation is no."

"You can skip races."

"And the little one is more important than racing, I'm sorry, but that's my fucking opinion."

I stood up angrily and grabbed him.

"Everyone shut up!!!"

I ran everywhere until Logan slapped me.

"Stop!" hysterics!!!!”

"Not a stupid American!!!"

"Did he call you stupid?"

"Take Daniel with you and make a date."

"Yes, during the period when everyone wanted sex, he should be glad that he didn't get pregnant then."

I went over and kicked Danny so hard what he was saying was not true.

"Kill me, but yes, I just miscarried, not because of the team, but because our daughter died of her own accord!!!!"

I got down on my knees, pushed him apart, started hitting the ground with my fists and looked up at the sky with tears in my eyes.

"Greta, I wish you were alive!!!!"

"Who is Greta?"

"Supposedly miscarried."

"Who made him pregnant?"

"Daniel, George."

"Well, this is the most unexpected prediction of all."

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hyunsuks-beanie · 3 years ago

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Just Fine, After All

Lee Know x reader; just Minho being a complete idiot

A/N It's Minho this time, since my man did the "Step Out" on Music Bank lmao. As always, I hope you like it!

He wasn't there. It was your graduation ceremony, and your boyfriend Minho had promised you that he'd be there, but of course, he wasn't. You couldn't blame him though, because you knew how hard he had been practicing for the comeback. And while you didn't want to pressure him to make time for you, you couldn't lie to yourself and say that it didn't hurt a little.

After the ceremony, you went back home, only to find that he wasn't back from practice yet. You decided to pay him a visit at the JYP building, knowing that he would most likely have not taken a break, even to eat. You cooked his favourite ramen and fried chicken, and went over to the company. By the time you reached there, you saw Changbin and Jisung leaving. When they noticed you, you guys exchanged hugs, with Jisung, who was also one of your closest friends, ruffling your hair and saying, "How'd the ceremony go? I'm sorry we couldn't be there, and I'm even more sorry that even Minho hyung couldn't make it. He's been practicing non-stop, and he still doesn't plan on leaving." "You're the only one who can get him to take a break, so we'll let you go ahead," smiled Changbin. You bid them bye, and started on your way to Stray Kids' practice room.

Opening the door, you see Minho practicing their title song. He didn't notice you, and you knew that he wouldn't do so until you cut the music off. So that's exactly what you did, by tiptoeing to the music system and switching it off. "Minho, come on. Take a break and eat something. I got your favourite food along," you said with a smile. At this, Minho abruptly turned towards you, but his expression wasn't one of surprise or happiness at seeing you there. Instead, he seemed pissed, and scary. "Minho-," you started, but he cut you off. "Did I ask you to come here? Did I ask you to bring me food? Did I say I need a break? Seriously Y/N stop being so nagging. If you don't have anything productive to do with your life, at least let me be productive with mine. Go write your stupid little thesis, instead of annoying me," He said, turning his back to you. It was only then that you realized that tears were already running down your face. "Well, if graduating from university counts as productive in your dictionary, then I guess I've done my share of productive today. Thanks for ruining my happiness, jerk."

With that, you placed the food near the door, and walked out. Minho rolled his eyes and started the music again. But after a while, he realized that he was not able to focus. He felt guilty for lashing out at you. It wasn't your fault that he was not able to perfect a particular step in the choreography. On the contrary, he had been the one at fault for not turning up at what was supposed to be one of the most important moments of your life. You must've been upset, but you still set it all aside and brought him food.

Deciding that he couldn't go on practicing any longer, and that he needed to be home and apologize to you, he left the company. On his way home, he noticed how bad the weather had become. Worry for you set in his heart, and he tried calling you, but you didn't pick up. "I hope Y/N is safe. Great job Minho, you made them walk back home in such bad weather."

As soon as he reached home, his heart sank, because the door was still locked. Entering inside, he quickly came to the conclusion that you weren't there, seeing as how all the lights were turned off. "Where could they be? Did they perhaps go to the dorm?" With that, he called Hyunjin up to ask him if you were there, to which, the younger boy replied, "Why would they be here? What did you do?" Jisung heard this, and snatched the phone away from his hands. "Where is Y/N, hyung? What did you do? Tell me they aren't in trouble." Minho told him what had happened, causing Jisung to say, "You screwed up big time, hyung. You should have apologized to them, and instead, you made them feel annoying and useless. And now, because of you, god knows where they are. I swear if something happens to them, I'll kill you."

"Nothing will happen to them Jisung, I promise. I know I messed up, but I'm gonna make things right." With that, Minho hung up, and grabbed his car keys again. He went to Han River, because he knew you liked going there when you needed some space. "I hope they're not out in the open. God, what have I done." Once he reached there, he quickly noticed you weren't there either, meaning he had to continue his search. The next stop was your favourite 24/7 coffee shop, but that too, turned out to be a dead end. Minho was close to losing his mind worrying about you, when suddenly, his mind cleared and he understood where he had to go.

Ten minutes later, he was back at the JYP building, and was running towards the rooftop at full speed. That was the place you had confessed to him, and the both of you held that spot very dear. Why hadn't he thought of that before? If you were upset with him, wouldn't you go to just the place where he had told you he loved you, seeking some reassurance? But when he reached there, and didn't see you anywhere, he started pulling at his hair, as tears threatened to spill. He was already crying, when he suddenly heard the voice he'd been searching for, for hours.

"Minho? What are you doing here in this weather? You'll catch a cold," you said softly. He turned around just the way he had earlier that day, and once again, his expression surprised you. Tears streaming down his face, he pulled you into the tightest hug ever, while peppering your face with soft kisses.

"Where were you baby? I was worried sick," he sobbed. "I was such a jerk to you today, and I can't tell you how sorry I am for hurting you like. You did nothing wrong except for caring too much for an idiot like me, and what did I do in return? Make you feel worthless and leave you alone in this weather. I don't know how I can ever make it up to you, but believe me, I really am sorry. Sorry for not being there for you on a special occasion. Sorry for making you feel unwanted. Sorry for being such a shitty boyfriend. I'm sorry for everything, and I swear, I don't know what I would have done had something happened to you."

You break away from the hug, and say, "It's okay Minho. I forgive you. I know you're tense about the comeback, and I completely understand you not being able to show up. But..... just, please don't lash out at me like that again for no reason. That really hurt me, because I felt that you didn't want me around. You made me feel as if I was annoying to you." "I swear, I will never treat you like that again babe. I'm sorry," he says through tears, making you wipe his cheeks before placing a soft kiss on his lips. "Let's just go home."

On your way back, Minho doesn't let go of your hand, making you smile to yourself. He suddenly asks, "I thought you'd be on the roof, but you weren't there. Where were you?" "I had gone up to the roof at first, because I just needed some reassurance that you hadn't meant what you said," you give him a weak smile. "But when the weather got bad, I came down to the practice room since I didn't have anywhere else to go, hoping that you would have gone home by now. And you had apparently left, so I decided to wait the storm out here. I was just on my way out of the washroom after I had done cleaning my face of all the tears and ruined makeup, when I saw you running up to the roof. I knew you were searching for me, so I followed you......"

"I'm so sorry I caused you so much trouble today baby, I'm so glad you're safe. I love you you," Minho said sadly.

"I love you too, Min," you squeezed his hand. "Now let's forget this ever happened, and go home and celebrate my graduation." "You read my mind Y/N, that's exactly what we're gonna do once we reach home," Minho gives you his signature smirk, making you shove his shoulder in false annoyance.

Seems like you two will be just fine, after all.

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sirthisisa-wendys · 3 years ago

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Investigations (Part 6): Ran Haitani x Fem!Reader

wc: 1.8k

tw: NSFW

masterlist

song recommendation:

"Mommy, you're getting bigger!"

The slapping of Kai's shoes on the wood flooring, his little body rushing toward you with his arms spread wide, is enough to make you forget the emptiness you felt like an ache in your soul.

"Kai, don't say that..."

Ran chastises him, coming through the door with the Paw Patrol bag slung over his suited shoulder.

"It's fine," you reply, squatting down to hold your son close. "He's just a kid." Ran doesn't respond. He just slides the backpack off his shoulder and shuts your apartment door, sitting it on the marble counter before walking around the fixture slowly.

"Packed five changes of clothes," he begins, ticking off his fingers. "Snacks and a water bottle. Some toys. And the books you wanted."

"Thanks," you whisper, unzipping the backpack to check if he made sure the clothes were matching this time.

"Y/n..." You sigh, feeling Ran's fingers slide up your hips and rest on your small bump. "You should really reconsider this. You're going to need help with the baby, and--"

"Ran." You don't face him; you can't look at his sad eyes. They're too convincing... Too alluring. You'd separated for a reason, not because you wanted to play coy. "We need to get through counseling before I can consider anything."

"I miss you." The words are like a siren's call to your heart, and you want to turn around. You want to hold him and kiss him and... But he'd just do the same thing over and over again. His lies would become more convincing, and you'd be in dire straits, all while sleeping next to a lying manipulator.

You decide the heartbreak isn't worth it.

"I'll see you on Sunday evening." Ran gets the hint. His hands slip away from your body and he says a soft "bye, champ" to Kai before walking out of the door.

_____________________________________________________________

You remember the day Ran came to get you like it was yesterday.

Cliche, but true.

He'd stormed into the little home Taiju had allowed you to remain in, his violet eyes blazing with anger and betrayal. Taiju followed behind him, yellow eyes apologetic and maybe even a little guilty.

"I'm sorry, y/n," Taiju whispered, hanging his head. "I--"

"Pack your things." Ran grabbed you by the wrist, yanking you toward the room you'd just emerged from, but you snatched it back, snapping,

"Fuck off."

In a split second, Ran had his hand raised in the air, poised to slap the taste out of your mouth without a second thought. But he stopped himself, remembering where he was. Who he was with. And who you were.

Taiju yanked you behind him in the milliseconds between Ran raising his hand and the thought of slapping you crossing his mind, full of fury.

"You can hit me, but if you hit her..." The threat stood between the two men, holding them apart with the promise of violence beyond your rashest fears.

"I want a divorce," you croaked.

Ran's eyes softened, and his mind flitted from the "I" to the "want" to the "a" and settled on "divorce".

"Y/n, please, I--"

"I want a fucking divorce."

The drive home with Taiju was the longest drive you'd ever endured.

And then you found out... you were pregnant. The timing couldn't have been worse. You only told Taiju - mainly because he would end up being the godfather due to the circumstances - but when you asked for a divorce, you had moved out.

Ran committed to helping pay for your apartment while you looked for a job, but once you found one as an administrative assistant to someone your family knew, you rejected any and all payments. Kai was shared between the two of you without a court order (you got weekends, he got weekdays), and you'd gotten used to living on your own for the first time in over five years.

And Kai... Kai hadn't understood why Mommy wouldn't be with him Monday through Friday. But Ran tried to explain it in soft tones and gentle hand-holding, and somehow it sunk in that Mommy needed to "work" and Daddy would do most of the caretaking while you worked hard for your independence.

But as the weeks passed, signs appeared, and Ran caught on pretty quickly with his methodical calculations and scrutinizing eyes. And when he found out you were pregnant and hadn't told him?

You sat through a half-hour-long, tear-filled speech that emphasized that Ran would be a part of the child's life in any and every way possible. Through that conversation, though, you agreed to marriage counseling. So... maybe it was good that he found out the way he did.

_____________________________________________________________

"Mr. Haitani, do you want this marriage to work for you or against you?"

"What kind of question is that?" Ran scoffs, crossing his arms.

"It's the kind of question that just might save you from being divorced and alone."

You can see Ran soften, uncrossing his arms and leaning his head on his propped-up hand.

"I want it to work."

"And Mrs. Haitani? Same question." When the woman turns to you, you feel something in your own heart crack, and for a moment, you think it's the pregnancy hormones that are making you cry. But you shake your head at yourself, wiping your eyes preemptively.

"I want it to work. For us. I don't want Kai to be without a father." A pause. "And I don't want to be without my husband." You don't see how Ran reacts because you're too busy sobbing into your own hands, feeling every single emotion you've held at bay come crashing down on you. But the large couch dips, and Ran places his arm around you, enveloping you in a hug as you weep.

"Then we need to rebuild trust before we can get to true reconciliation. Can I recommend something?"

"Please," Ran replies.

"Spend this evening just being honest with each other. Nothing distracting you two, just the two of you and your truth. Mr. Haitani, you need to be open enough to be honest and give her the answers to any questions she might have. And Mrs. Haitani, you need to do the same."

_____________________________________________________________

You're sitting between Ran's legs, staring at the crackling fire while he rests his large hands on your knees.

"Ask me anything."

The floor is open. The first question that comes to mind is:

"How long have you been in gangs?"

"Since I was thirteen." Seventeen years... This is a way of life for Ran.

"You've killed a man before." A statement, not a question.

"Many. But never for fun." You turn to look at him, and Ran looks down at you, raising his brows. "Never. And very rarely these days." South.

"Did you ever think about leaving?"

"All the time. The first time was when you and I got married. Then when we had Kai... then when you found out."

"And what's stopping you?" Ran thinks long and hard.

"It wouldn't make you trust me any more than you do now." You nod, quirking your lips to the left. That is true. "But also... I want to provide for both of you. I can't leave without some consequences. And we'd never be safe. But I can provide safety for us if I'm in power."

That is also true.

"Can I ask a question?" Ran whispers.

"Of course."

"Do you really want to divorce me?" You stare at the flames again, the answer very clear for the both of you. You just have to say it out loud.

"No." Ran sighs, dropping his head on your shoulder.

"I can't be without you." You lean your head on his and close your eyes, letting his lips press against your skin. "Please, come home."

"When we finish counseling," you promise. "I'll come home."

"Can you stay with me tonight, though?" You hesitate, but Ran cups your neck in his hand, whispering "please" into your skin and you give in. What good is it to fight the thing you want? To fight the man you need?

You kiss Ran with everything that you are, turning around to embrace him gently. You run your hands through his hair, tugging the short locks slightly as he lifts you onto his lap and kisses you deeply.

"Never leave me again," Ran pants, running his hands up your back. "Please. I felt like I could barely breathe without you."

"Never break my trust again," you reply, and Ran hums softly, littering kisses all over your face. "And I won't ever leave you."

Your lovemaking is slow and thoughtful in front of the fire, Ran's hands holding your hips with feather-light touches, and swiping your hair away from your face whenever he can't see your eyes staring back at him. It's this type of sex that Ran seems to take the most pleasure in... the closeness, the sweetness, the passion... it's all wrapped up in his soul, and he's pouring it out to you without words.

"I want you to be happy here," Ran grunts, stroking your g-spot with his skilled length and kissing the swell of your breasts at the same time. "With me."

You moan, and Ran opens his mouth to speak again.

"And I want you to be safe." He pauses, swirling a nipple around with his tongue. "And warm..." Ran's hands move from your hips to your face, and he leans down to brush his nose against yours. "And mine."

"You're all that I am," you breathe, and Ran's eyes light up, remembering the part of your vows you had said on your wedding day, which were completely unscripted.

"And you are all that I will be." His reply makes you arch your back upward, and you shake as he brings you to your climax, stroking all of the right spots and tending to your every need.

"R-Ran..."

"Shhh... Kai's sleeping. Don't want to wake him, do you?" Ran teases as your body clenches around his cock. "Gotta be quiet or-- fuck, fuck... Oh, my god..." Ran shudders, cumming inside of you with stuttering hips and fingers gripping your hands in his. When you both slow your pants and come down from your highs, Ran pulls you up and onto his body, leaning back onto the soft, plush carpet - and still inside of you.

You both stare into the fire, tangled and merged with one another by a red thread.

"I can't let go of you," Ran murmurs, and you look up at him in question. A tear tracks from the corner of his eye, and you swipe at it, pressing a kiss to his lips.

"You don't have to." You lay back down on his chest, trying to remain awake and relish this time with him, but you feel yourself slipping, falling, crashing into a deep sleep, one you've needed for a long time.

#ran haitani smut #tokyorev smut #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers smut #ran haitani x reader #ran haitani

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eldritchcreatureofwords · 3 years ago

Text

Penitence. It was a funny thing. In theory, that's what she was doing here- paying penitence. Serving time. She'd been ready to turn herself in to do that, so long ago, ready to throw herself to the wolves. Funny, how quickly that train of thought could change. How quickly what felt like 'paying the piper' fairly, as Vander would say, felt...like nothing. Who cared about a building? Who cared about Piltover? Who cared about what she'd done? It didn't matter. There was no one for it to matter for. They were all dead. They were dead, and she was alone. Alone, and going to die in a cold ass fucking cell in a world where no one gave a shit about her, and she didn't deserve any better. Powder might be alive. You have to hold on for Powder. Powder hates you. You left her, and she hates you, and you deserve that, too. Her freedom wasn't payment. Her freedom meant nothing to dead men. If anything, this was what Vander hadn't wanted. What he'd tried so hard to keep her safe from. So not only had she gotten him killed, she'd let him down anyway. Penitence. Payment. Punishment. Pain. All that was left was pain. So she fought. She fought, and she raged, and she lay on cold cell floors with blood running down her face and body screaming in pain with the blows from heavy fists and feet and Enforcer batons.

"That path? This? That's not gonna solve your problems." Then what will? What do I do? Tell me what to do- Penitence. Payment. Punishment. Pain. She dreamed of them. All the time. She dreamed that they were still alive when the building blew up, screaming for help, screaming her name. She dreamed that they stood beside her bed while she slept, staring down at her, watching her, hating her. She sometimes dreamed that Vander would be outside her cell in solitary, grinning viciously and coldly at her and tapping the baton against the bars. Hurt like you hurt me, he would hiss, take your lumps, Vi. They're on you. We're all on you. You killed us. She'd dream that Powder was in the crowd of visitors that came and went in Stillwater, that she would stand and stare at Vi, and when Vi would call for her, would try to run to her, she would back away, raise her hands over her face and fall back, frightened, cringing, crying. Please, Vi, please, please, Violet, please- She would wake up gagging, sobbing, pound her fists against the wall for hours until her knuckles bleed and her arms shook and the urge to scream and scream and scream finally subsided. Penitence. Payment. Punishment. Pain. It started accidentally, when she was sixteen. There wasn't exactly a tattoo shop inside Stillwater, but people had them none the less. Piercings, too. She avoided them- she saw the infections, the sickness, the punishments that came up from it. But being dragged up from solitary was brutal. Worse when she had cracked ribs and a broken nose; she couldn't stop shaking, and breathing was pure agony. Penitence. She deserved it. She deserved this. She could get through it. She could push through it and survive. She clung to Powder's face, to the desperate hope that her little sister would still love her, still need her, still want her when she got out. If she got out. But God, she was so tired and it hurt so desperately and, shamefully, she found herself huddled at a table at the back of the prison cafeteria crying silently into her arms. She just...needed a minute. Just a minute to drain some of the exhaustion, the pain, to let some of it go. She hadn't slept in nearly two straight days, she couldn't eat, she just wanted- she wanted- Vander. "You look rough, kid." It wasn't Vander, but it may as well have been. She looked up, dashing the tears from her face in one practiced motion, set her jaw, balled her fists. "Yeah, well, you look ugly." She muttered back, sullen, to the lumbering figure above her. The woman- big, bulky, with bright purple hair and an eyebrow pierced not once but two times- only laughed, though, and it was a surprisingly gentle sound. "So I've been told." The woman sat next to her, without her permission, and Vi snarled, pushing back and away from the table- teeth gritted against the pain in her side.

"Leave me the fuck alone." "Those look painful." The woman arched an eyebrow at her. "Vander's kid, right? Vi? Look, I owe the guy. Least I can do is look after his pup." "Vander's dead. You don't have to worry about oweing him anything." She spat back, nastily, and then, because she wanted to be alone, because she wanted this stupid, soft woman who had no right to be so inviting, to remind her of her father, to hurt- "I killed him." The other eyebrow joined the first. "Did you now?" Came the calm question, measured, softly. Just like he would. Just like he had. "Well, that's not what word of mouth says. Must be pretty badass, to take down Vander all by yourself." "Don't patronize-" "I'm not." The woman made a slicing motion with her hand. "Look, pup, you wanna be on your own down here, I can't stop you. But if you want to survive down here? You'll at least let me help you with those ribs." And that started it. She found herself initiated into the woman's gang, taken under her wing, and while it hadn't lasted forever- it had lasted long enough for Vi to grow. And to learn. Learn what to ask, and who to ask it from, and in less then two months, she lay on her cot, eyes closed, breathing rough and shallow, balled up pillowcase in her mouth. Penitence. Payment. Punishment. Pain. It started off simple enough. Powder. The gears and steamworks made their way down her arms, up along the back of her neck, down her spine. Bits and bobs and clouds of steam in honor of her little sister's tinkering. Look closely enough in the puffs of smoke, and you might see the form of a 'P'. The needle was dull, was dirty, and while the hands that worked over her back were steady and calm she couldn't keep the cries locked down. They wracked her throat, ripped out between clenched teeth. Penitence.

"Because Mylo was right! You're a jinx!"

Payment.

"Violet, don't leave me! I need you!"

Punishment.

"Please!"

Pain.

Powder, Powder, Powder. It took months to finish; the gears leading down both arms (backs only, she didn't want to see, didn't want to look, couldn't look) and up her neck; and segueing into a rough outline of a building. The shadowy silhouette of a warehouse, tall smokestack pumping the plumes of steam out from her spine. Months of sweating, crying, her hands clawing the fabric of her bed.

Months of her shirt rubbing roughly across raw, red skin; two infections that had her in the medical ward, panting, screaming, fighting off hallucinations and sobbing under phantom debris. She lived the warehouse again and again. she watched them die again and again. Each stab of the needle, each rub of the rough prison shirt, each time her skin pulled and ached and stabbed as she moved was the crack of a whip, flogging her, giving her what she deserved. When it was done, she wore Powder across her back like a weight. Her shoulders slumped under it; her back seemed permanently bent. It was her reminder. It was a cattle prod, keeping her alive, keeping her going, and a heavy load on her shoulders, making it difficult to get out of bed on the worst days. But she wasn't done. She still owed. The next was Mylo. His lock hung off the back of one side of the warehouse, in the shape of a grenade; on the left side of her spine, halfway down. Beside it, a key; it's teeth forming an M. "Who's M?" The voice dying her skin asked, in the dark; and, exhausted from pain, desperate for human contact, desperate to tell someone he existed, she chuffed a tiny, weak laugh. "My obnoxious, stupid, mouthy little brother." She replied, around a sad smile. Never knew when to shut up, never knew when to stop pushing, arrogant little smart ass, God he was going to be brilliant. "I had three kid siblings." "Had?" "Had." She pressed her face into the pillow. Penitence.

"You guys know I wouldn't take you on a job you couldn't handle, right?"

Payment.

"I could fill a damn library with all the things you didn't do-"

Punishment.

"Powder's my problem, ok? Your problem is never knowing when to shut up. But I'm gonna help you with that, ready?"

Pain.

"He's our father, too." It was much shorter, much easier then the castle that was Powder. Done in a day, and she could feel it every time she bent, every time she sat, every time someone bumped into her lightly. That night, she dreamed of the first time they'd ever found him, scrawny and half dead in an ally, guarded by Claggor's bulk. She dreamed of the days he'd spent, healing, getting his strength back, her hands stroking through his hair, soothing him as he cried in pain and wiping away the heat of his fever. That night, she remembered his laugh for the first time in a year, his crooked, dimpled smile, the way he'd looked at Claggor when he thought Claggor wasn't looking back, the way he'd blush when she arched her eyebrows at him and grinned. But every time she reached for him, tried to hug him, hold him, touch him, he crumbled to dust in her arms. Claggor came next. Claggor, with his slow voice and slow smile and quick mind; with his huge gentle hands and calm temperament and deep, ferocious love. Claggor who was nearly as protective of Powder as she was, who blushed whenever you brought up Mylo, who shyly admitted, one night, when it was just the two of them, that he was gay and so scared Vander would reject him for it because his own mother had. Claggor who had held her when she couldn't be as strong as she wanted to be, who always had food to share hidden on his person, who couldn't let anyone or anything stay sad or in pain. Who sang songs to her little sister during tantrums and played her games willingly. Who could pick Vi up in one arm, who would wrestle her like a big bear, crashing and banging through the Last Drop like a pair of wild puppies.

Penitence.

"Vi, are- are you sure about this? If we get caught-"

Payment.

"What's the matter, Mylo? You worried Powder's gonna beat you again?"

Punishment.

"We're not gonna get caught."

Pain.

"You're not doing this alone, Vi." She'd wept, during his tattoo. Wept despite herself, wept openly- not in pain, but simply weeping. The hands and voice in the dark hummed to her soothingly, pet her hair when they weren't working on the second key, and didn't ask who 'C' was as it's teeth formed the letter delicately.

The last of them was Vander. She almost didn't add him, almost didn't include him in the mishmash on her body because God, it was already so heavy, so much, carrying the three of them. Her pack, her kids, her boys, and she almost couldn't breathe under their weight.

She didn't want his memory there. She didn't want him there because she was sure, she was sure she couldn't carry him. You did this. You did this, and you don't get to wiggle out of it because you're scared. I can't. I can't. Please. This is the least you can do. Suck it the hell up and take your lumps, Vi.

"Last one?" Asked the voice in the dark, when she came back in for the final time, slipping into Vi's cubicle and sitting on her cot. "This is a lot to go through. Y'know, most people just want me to do something small. Y'know, maybe an initial or a name or something." "I-" She lay flat on her stomach for the final time, forehead on her arms. "Let's just say it's a debt." The hands shrugged. "Not my circus." She replied, taking the little drawing from Vi that showed the last addition to her tattoo. In the center of the whole mess, just under the warehouse, was a blank space. There the final lock was situated, one with no key to go with it. Wide, large, it nestled in the center of a V shape. The pain was second only to the pain of the initial shape; right in the middle of her spine, taking her breath away, earning tiny whimpers and choked groans. It stabbed through her, pinpoints of pain that made white flash before her eyes. Penitence.

"I'm proud of you. Always have been."

Payment.

"You've got a good heart. Don't ever lose it. No matter how the world tries to break you."

Punishment.

"Protect the family."

Pain.

"Take care of Powder." I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry "Hon. Hon, breathe. Breathe. I don't know who you're apologizing to but they aren't here. C'mon, Pink. Come on." She'd been speaking out loud. She'd been whimpering. She closed her eyes, hard, against hot tears, curled up and felt the burn, the ache, the pull of her skin, of Vander. "Leave me alone." The hands in the dark paused, and one settled gently on her shoulder. She shrugged it off, hard. She didn't get comfort. She didn't deserve it. "You know, Pink, if they were important enough to go through all this for, I don't think they'd want you to hurt like this." White-red-rage. "Leave me alone!" She lunged up, swung before she could even register what her body was doing. You don't know them, you don't know me, you don't know what happened, leave leave leave! The punch connected solidly. Vander screamed on her back. Someone screamed for real. It might have been her. It might have been the other woman. It might have been someone else entirely. The next few moments were a familiar blur. Shouting, Enforcers shouting. Rough hands on her shoulders, yanking her arms behind her back, shoving her to her knees to cuff her. Her back hurt. Her stomach hurt. Her chest hurt.

They were so damn heavy. But she smiled, even as she was dragged to her feet, shoved so hard she almost lost her balance. It was done. Piper paid.

#arcane #vi #whump #stillwater #idea credit to my dragon #ya'll can all thank her for this #:)

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haikyuuuuuhypeeeee · 3 years ago

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Ch. Twenty Two

⚠WARNING: Hospitals, mentions of hospital treatments (ethical and unethical - it is just speculated, there is no graphic descriptions nor is there any unethical hospital treatments used on any characters.)

• ────── ✾ ────── •

You're folding the picnic blanket when you think to turn your phone back on.

Oikawa, Mattsun and Makki are discussing their plans for the rest of the day - they want to keep reminiscing and there’s talks of pulling out yearbooks and photos. You let them plan, knowing you’d be on board with whatever they want.

Your phone fully comes on, and a text pops up immediately.

Your heart plummets in your chest. You quickly unlock your phone and call Kita immediately. You don’t want to wait long before he picks up.

“Hello Y/N-san.”

“Kita,” you reply. Your throat feels dry as a desert. “What’s wrong, is Osamu okay?”

“Yes, Osamu is okay and not in any immediate danger.” He is quick to quell your fears, not wasting any time with pleasantries. “His fever intensified after he woke up so we brought him to the hospital. He was admitted in the later morning, but the doctor is confident that with plenty of medicine, fluids and rest Osamu will be fine.”

You sigh. “Thank goodness. I’m glad he’s okay.”

There’s a slight pause before Kita replies. “Yes, as are we.”

You didn’t like that pause. Nor the way he phrased his response.

“Kita, what’s wrong?”

There’s another pause before you hear a sigh. Then Kita speaks. “Osamu was admitted for his fever. But he is going to remain in the hospital under psychiatric watch.”

Your heart drops to your stomach. Out of the corner of your eyes you’ve noticed your friends paused in their cleaning efforts and are giving you concerned looks.

“What?” You whisper. “What does that mean?”

“It was at the advice of the in-house psychiatrist that Osamu remained until his parents could talk about next steps, and Osamu agreed. His parents are less than an hour away - we contacted them last night when we came to Osamu’s apartment. He is not a threat to himself at this time but during this limbo they want to keep him under watch.”

Kita speaks in his soothing, calm voice you’ve gotten familiar with and his words are meant to reassure you. But you’re scared, very scared. All you can picture is Osamu locked in a room, alone and chained up and scared. The vision makes you grip your chest.

“I know this is a lot to take in,” Kita says over the phone. “Aran, Suna and I are at the hospital right now. We’re going to greet Osamu’s parents and stay for however long we can remain useful. You are more than welcome to join us.”

“I’ll be there,” you answer immediately. “I’ll be there soon.”

You hand up the phone and finally turn to your friends. They look extremely worried.

“This morning Osamu woke up with a really bad fever and he went to the hospital. I guess the psychiatrist wants to keep him there for observation.”

“Observation?” Makki repeats. “What does that mean?”

“They think he could hurt himself.” Mattsun says quietly. Makki blanches.

Oikawa steps up. “Are you okay?” He asks quietly.

You stare at him, trying to figure out your emotions. “I don’t know,” you say truthfully. There’s really only one feeling you have. “I’m worried about Osamu.”

Your voice breaks on Osamu’s name and Oikawa pulls you in for a hug.

“Are you going to the hospital?” Mattsun asks.

You hesitate, despite giving Kita your affirmation not even five minutes ago. You want to go, and be there for Osamu. But today is for Hajime, and you want to be there for your friends.

“You should go,” Oikawa tells you. You look at him in surprise. He planned this whole day and wanted to spend it with everyone - yes that’s when he was being a bit more of a dictator but you’re still surprised to see his change of heart.

“Iwa-chan would want you to support your friends, all of your friends.” He gives you a small smile. “Go, but text us updates.”

You nod, smiling at him. You turn and start to walk away, but the quick thought of deserting your friends makes you pause.

When you turn around all three of your friends are waving their hands at you. “Go! It’s fine!” Oikawa calls.

You laugh quietly, then turn and run to the bus stop.

The ride to the hospital is short, quick and uneventful. Your mind is whirling and you’re barely paying attention. You spare enough attention to know when to jump off the bus and run into the hospital lobby, dodging other people. As you scan the area you immediately find Kita, Aran and Suna tucked in a corner. Kita stands from his seat as you approach, as does Aran. Suna remains in his seat, exhaustion having taken over his features. Aran also looks defeated, but Kita’s calm and collected expression keeps you from spiraling too much.

“How is he?” You ask as you get within earshot.

“There are no updates since our phone conversation from earlier.” Kita replies. He offers the plush seat next to Suna and you gingerly sit. “All we know is that his fever has gone down and he checked himself in for voluntary watch under self-harm precautions.”

The reminder makes you flinch, still shaken by the events. Kita reaches an arm out to your shoulder. “It will all be okay. We should have some more answers soon - the Miyas should be here any second.”

“Shin-kun!”

He barely finished his sentence when a voice called out, making Kita turn to the entrance. Two more people are rushing to your group, a man and a woman. You immediately peg them as Osamu’s mom and dad - besides the fact that you knew they would be joining you all, the woman has the same eyes as Osamu. Now they’re tight with worry and apprehension as she throws her arms around Kita.

“Thank you so much for calling us!” She tearfully cries with her arms wrapped around Kita. The father is currently hugging Aran, both holding onto each other tightly. “I’m so glad we were able to get here so quickly.”

“It was nothing.” Kita answers calmly. The mother jumps over to Aran to give him a hug while the father hugs Kita. Both parents turn and give Suna a big squeeze, sandwiching him between them.

Kita continues talking. “In fact, Y/N here was the one who helped us find Osamu.”

Both parents turn to you, making you freeze in your seat. You swallow thickly, standing up quickly.

“Uh, hi. I’m Y/N. I’m a friend of Osamu’s here in Sendai.”

It’s quiet for another second before the woman launches herself at you. You feel your eyes widen but you’re able to move your arms in time to catch her.

“A friend, oh thank you, thank you!” She is nearly sobbing while clutching onto your figure. “I thought my Osamu was alone in the city, but you’re his friend.” You feel tears on your neck as Osamu’s mom starts crying, but you do your best to pat her back and comfort her.

“Osamu is one of my very good friends,” you say as the mom pulls away. “He means a lot to me.”

She gives you a tearful smile while Osamu’s father speaks up. “If you don’t mind me asking how did you two become friends?”

“It was a random meeting,” you say, not necessarily lying. “But we became good friends because we’ve both lost someone close to us.”

The father’s eyes soften while his face falls ever so slightly. He steps forward and opens his arms. “Can I give you a hug? I like to ask, seeing how my wife just jumps right in.”

You smile but step in for a hug as well. It’s warm and all encompassing, and you feel a bit of tension release from your shoulders. “I’m very sorry for your loss.” He says before pulling away.

“Thank you.” You say earnestly. “And I’m sorry for your loss also.”

He nods. “I’m sure you know how important it is to talk to someone about this, even if you’re just talking to a friend. Having that support is immeasurable. So thank you for being Osamu’s friend.” He gives you a smile. “It means more to me than I can explain.”

You’re slightly taken aback with how genuine he sounds, but you nod all the same. “It was the same for me.”

The dad gives you a smile before his wife comes up to him. “Kita told me we can go see the doctor and Osamu now.”

The father nods at her, giving you a smile before departing. As they walk towards the elevators you see him wrap his arm around his wife’s shoulders and hold her tight.

“Oba-san asked us to stay at the hospital if we could.” You turn and see Kita standing by his chair. Aran has sunk down into his and Suna already looks fast asleep, long legs sprawled out in front of him. “You are more than welcome to stay, but I don’t know how long we will be here.”

“I’ll stay,” you answer. You sit back in your seat next to Suna, feeling the wariness of the day catch up to you. You might copy Suna and let your eyes drift close for a bit. You know it’ll be awhile before you hear anything from Osamu anyway.

• ────── ✾ ────── •

A/N: I like to think that Kita's typo in his text is because he's stressed out, not because I made a typo when writing this.....anyway, finally we meet Osamu's parents! They're are absolutely lovely people and I can only imagine the pain they've been through in the last few months. Thank you all for reading!!

Taglist Open! Please send an Ask with the request to be added to It’s [Not] Okay Fic & SMAU (bold cannot be tagged): @psycho-nightrose @camcam1617 @kamalymaly @toobsessedsstuff @shookykookie30 @roro-707 @qualitygiantshoepsychic @cerealfrdinner797 @ara-mitsue @gray-444 @tanakasimpcorner @rintarovibes @jellien @everytimeswift @bongofrito @babucrow @beidouluvr @kozuken-ma @imarriedachef @badkarma-a @reina-de-tay @meianshugoswife @creepykawass

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vuhtterlly · 4 years ago

Text

Overwhelmed

Who: Geto Suguru x GN! Reader

Warnings: Comfort. Slightly reckless driving. Light angst? Grammatical Errors. A tiny, tiny, TINY spoiler.

A/N: This is inspired by true events. Unloading is not easy, and we get so wrapped up trying to ignore that it's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to cry when you don't know the reason and seek comfort from the person you trust the most.

Summary: You have to be fine, not for everyone's sake but for yourself. So, why after tonight's event, you find yourself crying and conflicted to call for help. Though someone notices your behavior and does not hesitate to be there for you.

Muffled voices surrounded you, but strangely enough, you can hear what they are saying. You laugh when everyone does, you answer when someone asks you things, but behind that smile, you were lost. It was like if your body was on autopilot.

You look at your watch, and it was getting late. "I'm sure everyone still wants to hear how great you are, but we have students to teach early tomorrow," you got up from your seat.

"Oh, come on, Y/N! Don't be a party pooper. I'm sure we can still hang a couple more minutes," Gojo pleaded.

You shook your head and gave an apologetic smile to the waitress who has been waiting to clean the table.

"They're right, Gojo. Can't you see it's time to close! Plus, we see each other every day." The black hair man scolded the pouting white-haired man.

Gojo pouted and got up, "You three go ahead. I'll pay for our meal."

Shoko was already walking ahead and pulling out her smokes. Geto walked a bit further but noticed how you were walking slow and looking at your surroundings. It was as if you were trying to distract yourself.

He opened the door and hold it for you.

"Hey, are you okay?" He stood next to you as you took your keys out of your pocket.

You scrunched your eyebrows, "Yeah, why wouldn't I be."

He shrugged, "Just asking." Though he knew that you were lying but didn't push anymore.

The four of you came in separate cars, but Gojo and Geto came together.

"Ah! I guess he's up to his antics again," You pointed at the window.

Shoko and Geto looked in your pointed direction. They see Gojo flirting with the young waitress. The three of you sigh, and Shoko decided to go back in to drag Gojo away from the poor woman.

You yawned and stretch out your limbs.

Geto chuckled, "I guess you should head out before you fall asleep here."

You hummed in agreement.

"Come on. I'll walk you to your car." He nodded towards where your car is parked.

As the two of you were walking, you were questioning if you should ask him if he wants to go with you, but your automated brain wasn't letting you.

Geto could have asked you if he could go with you, but he knew that something was going on with you, and you needed some space. Though that didn't stop him from worrying.

You got in your car. Before Geto closed the door for you, he stared at you.

"Umm, Sugu?" You asked nervously. Squirming at his intense gaze.

He shook his head, "Sorry! Are you sure you able to drive? I know you struggle driving at night." He wanted to stall, anything to be by your side.

You gave a reassuring smile. "I'll be fine! The campus is close by. I can make it! Besides, you have me in find friends. So, if anything, just look where I am at."

That's the thing he doesn't want to resort to that. He wants to believe that you'll be fine, but his gut is warning him that he should be with you.

He nodded, agreeing with your last statement, "Please drive safe then. Text me once you're close by."

He lets you close the door, his eyes not leaving your car as it drives away.

*******

A shaky breath leaves your trembling lips, and in a millisecond, a sob came afterward.

You were driving to an intersection, and it's your turn to make a stop. You were about to make a left, but your head wasn't letting you think straight. You were so caught up sobbing that you didn't properly look at both sides and almost hit a car.

"Clear your head, Y/N. You can't drive like this. Clear. Your. Head." You took a couple of deep breaths. Once the road was clear, you made the left turn, but you started to sob again. Your "Clear Mind" mantra was working-ish, but the tears weren't stopping.

Stopping at a traffic light, you started to rant, "You we-were never in m-my life, and you have the au-audacity to talk shit about m-me?! W-who do y-you t-think you are to say...to say th-that I've never done any-anything to p-prove that I can l-lead the c-clan. T-that I'm not smart en-enough to lead. I'm a t-teacher for fuck sakes!!!"

Your eyes glance at the light. The traffic light taking its time to turn green.

"Uncle, y-you are in-in no position to-to say that-that I'm n-not worthy of the title. B-because I am w-worthy!!!! I-I don't have sons w-who kno-knocked up and ha-have di-different baby mommas!!!! Plus, I ca-can destroy your weak ass sons!!!"

You reach to turn up the music. The back of your head wanted to deny this action, telling you that you need to let everything out. Though you just wanted to block your thoughts.

When your sibling found out about it and told you, it didn't hit like right now. In fact, you laughed and said that your uncle's sons didn't have anything compared to you. The elders in your clan already confirm that you were next in line to lead your clan. So, why is something like what your uncle said affecting you?

Shouldn't you be crying over your work? That there were innocent people you couldn't save, and their families blame you.

From taking your students to missions, making sure they survived, making sure the elders didn't touch one of Gojo's students, preparing to become the new clan leader, training to perfect your domain expansion, to go on solo missions. It was an endless cycle, but why are you crying for a small comment?

Could it be that you're just overwhelmed? That this is your body trying to unload?

Your thoughts were all over the place, and the music wasn't helping. The light turned green, but soon the road lights were fading, making it harder for you to drive.

"I can't drive like this," You let out a shaky breath. "What s-should I do?" You hiccupped.

You slowly pulled to the side of the road and parked your car. When you thought you had calm down, another wave of sobs burst out of your lips. Before you know it, you screamed, and punch the steering wheel trying to let go of your frustrations.

Minutes turned to an hour, and you were dozing off. Would it be a bad idea to sleep on the road for the night? Then again, you'll have to explain to Suguru why you haven't come home yet.

You didn't want to bother anyone, especially at this hour. You've learned that dealing with these emotions was best because who could understand you better than yourself?

Although...

You have friends who trust you with their vulnerability, but do you trust them with yours?

What's the point of having friends if you can't be real with them?

Aren't you the type of person friends come for comfort?

For once, don't you want someone to comfort you?

Lowering the music volume. Your phone was in your hand, and unconsciously you dial Geto. Biting your lip, you immediately cancel the call. You feared what he'll think or that he can't be there for you.

The ring from your phone startled you, he called you back.

You cleared your throat and swallowed a chunk of saliva. Hoping he wouldn't notice your broken voice.

"Hello?"

"Unlock your door." That was all he said before he hanged up.

You looked around your surroundings and saw a dark outline of a car parked behind you. A figure walked towards your door, and thanks to the moonlight, you were able to see that it was Suguru.

When he opened the door, your lips quivered, and another wave of tears streams down your cheeks.

"S-Sugu I-" You wanted to ask how or why, but he didn't give you a chance.

He leans towards you and unbuckles your seatbelt.

"I going to pick you up and put you in the back, okay?" His face was inches from yours.

You nodded and hiccupped.

He leaves for a second to open the back door and comes back, picking you up gently.

After he places you gently on the back seat, a voice comes from the direction of the other car.

"Are they alright?!" they yelled, worry hidden in their voice.

Geto pulls back and wipes some of your tears away, "I'll be back."

You didn't want him to leave; his warmth made you feel safe.

It felt like an eternity for Suguru to come back, but then you saw the headlights from the other car turned on and drove off.

You hiccupped, and the tears never seemed to end.

"Sorry if I took long. Mind if you scoot over." He said softly.

Your mind was back to autopilot and did what was commanded.

The two of you sat there uncomfortable. Geto did not know if it's okay to pull you into a hug, but he decided to do it. He makes you sit on his thighs, chest against chest, and he then pushes your face towards his neck. One arm is wrapped around your waist, while the other one is rubbing your back.

"It's okay to cry. But for once, let me hold you and soothe your raging thoughts, just like you've done for me. Let me be your shoulder for you to cry on, trust me with your vulnerability," he pleaded and hold you tighter.

You wanted to push him away, but instead, your hands reached to grip his shirt. You gritted your teeth and let out another sob. Suguru didn't stop rubbing your back and kept giving soothing words.

This craving that was starting to build, you didn't want it to end. You never thought that being wrapped in someone's arm can be so warm and slightly refreshing.

"Whenever you feel ready to talk, I'll be here with you. It doesn't matter if it's something small or silly; your feelings are important. Don't think that I'll judge you because I won't," he reassured you.

It took you a while to gain some of your composure back, but you manage to regain some strength. A shaky breath left your lips, and you pull back from his warmth. His hand reaches your cheeks and wipes away your tears. You were able to hold eye contact with him, and his gentle smile makes you feel at ease.

"Sorry for making a-a mess on your sh-shoulder," you reached to pat dry the wetness.

He grabs your hand and intertwines it with his, "It's okay." While the other one is still wiping your rebel tears.

"Umm, I'm-I'm sorry." You mumbled and looked behind him. Finding the passing cars interesting.

He knew why you were apologizing for and clenched his jaw. "There's nothing to be sorry... Look at me."

You hesitated, but he gently grabs your chin and pulls your attention back to him.

"I want to be here with you. For you." He squeezes your hand. "Remember when I was pushing everyone away, but you were able to see through me?"

You nodded.

"I didn't know I needed someone until you came, and you told me that it's okay to feel the way I was feeling. So, what did you do?" He said a bit humorously.

You smiled at the memory.

"You made it your mission to pull me out of that hole."

"I did it because I care," you unknowingly whispered.

He squeezed your hand, "Exactly! And guess what? I care about you too."

That word care, it was still foreign to you. Strange, huh? You care about others but have a hard time believing when others say they care about you. Maybe it was because people have let you down when you needed their comfort. Or chose to ignore your cries for help.

Yet, here's this man giving you warmth and comfort. Something that you have been craving for too long. It was still foreign for you, but your craving wasn't going to deny it.

When his hands cradled your face, your cheeks flared up. This type of intimacy was a bit too much, but you welcomed it. Finally, realizing Suguru is being genuine and not acting.

Tears started to stream down, and you leaned to hug him. The man didn't hesitate to hug back.

"I hope those are happy tears."

BRB I going to go cry now. Ps. I made it home safely.

JJK Masterlist

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #geto suguru x reader #geto x reader #getou x reader #getou suguru x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #geto suguru

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lsholland · 3 years ago

Text

𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄 (𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝)

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈 - "𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠?"

Word count: 3.7k

tw: addictions (alcohol, drugs), swearing, disease, murder...

genre: psychological thriller / suspense / drama

Synopsis: Tom Holland is Hollywood's #1 celebrity and is adored all around the world. But this rise to fame hasn't been easy for him. With fame comes his own demons: addiction issues, a relationship that's about to end and...he doesn't know it yet, but he's about to kill an innocent woman. How is he going to get through it?

You can also read it on Wattpad.

Reblogs and comments are appreciated :)

"Tom! Tom!!! TOM!!!" shouts a woman in a black hoodie among a hysterical crowd of young boys and girls trying to get this man's attention. "PLEASE!!! I love you so much" her voice crackles, she's sobbing in despair.

He stops walking and stands right in front of her, a sharpie pen between his fingers and an unnatural grin on his face. Even though these people claim they love him, he's tired of them. It's something with the drama, the screams, and the perpetual inconsideration that drains his energy. His straight face says it all, if only they weren't obsessed with his looks, he'd be pleased to spend time with them. But he knows he's just an object of their fantasies. He forces a smile, or something close to it, and accepts to take a picture with her. He stands next to her, his arms in his back, his fingers intertwined and shakily holding the pen, glancing at the camera lens, lost in his thoughts. His body is present in the moment, but his mind is thousands of kilometres away in the universe that is his brain.

And she's so happy to finally have that precious picture that her smile shows all her impeccable teeth; she's sweating and rapidly breathing and laughing with the same high-pitched voice as everyone else; she's just a typical fangirl. All her friends gather around her and whisper as if they were hiding a secret from an alien.

And onto the next one. Same hysteria, same cry for help, miserable for his attention. She hands him a picture of him in a Spider-Man suit and asks for an autograph while she's filming the scene with her brand-new iPhone.

It has to do with the way they treat him. The way they pretend he doesn't notice their weird behaviour. The way they simply believe he's not a human being. That he must be good-looking, happy, nice, and funny all the time.

"We've gotta go" says his assistant as he presses his shoulder with his hand. Tom looks at him with relief and closes his eyes for a second. He lets out a sigh as a soft smile appears on his angelic face.

"A'ight, I'm sorry guys" he apologises, but that's not enough. Many of them start crying and push through the thin barrier to get a hold of him; like monsters that haven't been fed, like addicts when you can't provide their usual dose of drugs. They look so disappointed and hopeless; leaving now would reduce all his efforts to dust. Keeping a good image and reputation is the key. He doesn't want to be hated.

Guilt rushes through him like a thrill; he glances at his watch and gulps. He gives them another 5 minutes for pictures, autographs, and hugs. Even if he's late. Even if he's going to miss his interview. Because he owes his success to them; or at least he thinks he does.

And when he goes into the back seat of this huge black SUV with no registration plate, he slams the door shut and . . . Peace. Finally, the moment he's been waiting for. The pressure leaves his body like a bubble burst. He sighs and relaxes his muscles, his head falling back on the seat. His eyes are closed; he doesn't say a word for the whole ride. His time alone is so rare and valued.

And when they arrive in front of that gigantic building to pass this final interview, Tom prepares to show his usual bright smile and pretends he's happy. Nobody notices what's hidden in his gaze. But his eyes are telling the truth. His eyes show how hopeless he is. But nobody dares looking into his soul. They only see the superficial layer, the mask he puts on every day. Because nobody knows who he is. Nobody cares about him.

It's so much simpler to ignore sadness in other people. We just tend to believe only good moments are worth sharing. We just pretend we're happy all the time because that's what everyone else does. And why would he show his sadness anyway? He has it all: a girlfriend, loads of money, a caring family, success . . . What can he be sad about?

The interview is done, Tom is in the car, cruising in the city. He's finally going home after a long, tiring, and stressful day.

He unlocks his phone and checks his text messages. They're plain and all related to his fame or his work. All his conversations are so self-centred. What are his plans? What does he like? And what's his opinion on this subject? He, he, him, him, again and again!

He's so tired and wants to be entertained. This empty space laying in his heart and brain becomes bigger and bigger. It's become harder to ignore it, especially when he's alone like tonight. Besides, he's too used to entertain others that he almost forgets what it's like to be passive and watch people do things. As if the world revolved around him.

Here we go. Instagram. The most toxic of all social media platforms. He scrolls through pictures of his friends. The famous ones on red carpets or photoshoots; the anonymous ones a drink in their hands. They're all so superficial. All the same. And the algorithm showing him pictures fans have taken of him earlier today . . . Icing on the cake. Why would he watch this? He doesn't need it. But he decides to read what the fans say, because he's curious. Or because he's obsessed with what people think of him. He needs to be known, loved, remembered, at the centre of attention – adored. He wouldn't need to sell his soul to the devil because it's already in him, and he's now paying the price of this sin.

The fans he met earlier, who were so happy to finally see their idol, were bullying him on social media. They aren't even aware of it. All these people objectifying him, posting pictures of his family – invading his privacy – and saying he can't 'write' or 'walk' or do anything properly because he's just human. They say they are joking except it's not funny. Tom's feelings are hurt, again. He should have written 'you're' instead of 'your', he should have noticed there was a hole in the grass and not trip . . . These images are roaming in his brain like a car's spinning wheels when you brake at 60 miles per hour; the pressure of the tyres scratching your mind, and the intrusive thoughts that can't be stopped like the wheel. Ever. And you eventually hit the wall.

He glances at the rear-view mirror and see his driver focused on the traffic lights. He glances around to make sure no paparazzi is watching and takes a flask out of his back pocket. His trembling hands poorly hold it, but he needs to drink something to feel better; to feel energised. He spills his boose on the leather seats and sighs with annoyance. Grabbing his hoodie feels like lifting the weight of the world; he manages to wipe it off and savours the sweet taste of vodka. Just one sip can't hurt.

That's how you know it's too late.

"Do you really need it?" says the assistant in the front passenger seat who caught him.

"It's just a drink" Tom replies instantly, frowning his eyebrows.

"I'm just worried about you, you know" he adds as he turns around and looks at him in his eyes.

"There's nothing to worry about," Tom mumbles as he feels relaxed "I can stop if I want to."

"If you say so . . ."

And even the people surrounding him day and night aren't trying to help him. Everyone's aware he's slowly getting addicted and is wasting his potential, everyone but the fans. Everyone pretends to love him, but nobody truly cares. They're just after his money, power, and fame . . .

It's like watching him tiptoeing on the deck's edge of a ferry and being shocked when he eventually falls off in the unforgiving cold, dark sea.

He smiles when the car stops in front of his London house. That's the only place where he feels like he can truly be himself. Or the last of it. After all, who is he really? Spider-Man? An actor that pleases 13-year-old girls? A failure? An impostor? Or no one at all?

What happened to the young boy who was excited about everything and anything? What happened to the one who used to laugh more than he'd breathe?

He is torn. He can't love anymore. He's had many girlfriends, each one more famous and beautiful than the last, but they couldn't bring him back to life. He truly loved them though. He felt good with them and always thought they were a match until he messed up. Making up a behaviour so they'd leave him because he's not strong enough to quit. Because he is just like this. A kid who can't handle success.

He currently has a girlfriend. Everyone loves her. He thinks she's too good for him though. Too beautiful, too clever, and maybe too famous. He feels like she's achieving much more than he is and that scares him. He can't even make love to her without feeling like he's not worth it. So, he ignores her calls, takes days to reply to a text, becomes cold as stone, distant, and unstable. This is how cowards break up. But she holds on to him.

Once he gets home, he sits on his couch and starts watching TV. His stomach is empty; he hasn't eaten all day but the only thing he wants is to drink more. It's like a voice in his brain that takes control of his body. He sees everything but can't do anything about it. The smell, the thirst, the mind that can't think of anything else. His hands are shaking, breathing becomes uneasy, he's uncomfortable in his own skin; he's a stranger to himself until he drinks. He's desperately waiting for someone to help him. But they're all too busy with their own problems.

He tries to drink from his flask, but it is empty.

He groans. "One more isn't gonna hurt" he whispers to himself as he walks towards the kitchen area. He opens the fridge and grabs a cold one.

And another one.

And another one . . .

The saddest thing about the situation is that he truly believes in his excuses. He doesn't realise he desperately needs help.

Now, the fridge is empty. But he still doesn't feel it. He doesn't feel the uninhibited state he wants to reach. He's still a victim of his thoughts; the sadness, the anger, the feeling of being trapped in a never-ending game.

He glances at his 80,000 dollars Rolex and decides it's time for him to go to a bar. He grabs his phone and calls his assistant. No answer. He calls his second assistant then. No answer.

"It's only 2AM, come on!" he grunts.

Only?

He thinks for barely a second and grabs his keys and gets into his car. There's a night bar in Kingston that he absolutely loves, and he knows he's always welcome there.

As a celebrity he's obviously welcome everywhere. But he noticed the way people looked at him with pity when he spent an entire night drinking without speaking to anyone. Alone in his thoughts that only he knows. It's different there, the barmaid usually talks to him and entertains him. And she just doesn't care he's famous, which is rare nowadays.

He's been caught drunk driving many times, but he was always released without a word because he's so famous. As if all the police officers have daughters who worship him.

Maybe his problem is thinking he's above all. He who used to be so humble, kind, and generous.

He parks in front of the venue, but the lights are off. He rolls down the window and squints to read the paper sticked to the door.

The bar is closed for annual leave.

"Fuck it!" he shouts. He checks on his phone if another bar is open tonight. Miss Jackson is. It's not the bar he usually spends his time in, but the beers are good and it's not too crowded for him. He absolutely wants to avoid fans tonight.

Most of them are underage, it's dangerous for him. One mistake and he'd become a paedophile. That's why he swore to himself to never do anything with a fan, no matter how hot they are. It's harder to respect this rule when he's drunk though.

"Let's go then" he says in a lazy way, the alcohol slowly taking control of him.

His eyes are red, everything he sees is blurred. He can't keep his thoughts straight.

He starts the car and puts some music to lighten his mood. He needs this to feel better. If something bad happens while he's drunk it ruins his mood. And when this happens . . . he starts having very dark thoughts. The kind of thoughts you better keep to yourself if you don't want people to be scared for you. Where your life is on the line, and you don't care about tomorrow because you just want to stop it . . . The sadness; the anxiety; the constant fears. Because the only moment you feel happy is when you sleep, as if you were dead. Tom feels like this all the time, and he hides it well.

But now he's focusing on the moment. The boose allows him to feel better. He listens to this pop song and its energy is spreading in his body. He's pushed by the music; the excitement and adrenaline take control over his body. He's ready to go.

He quickly backs up the car. He's so excited to go to the bar to finally drink some more and—

BOOM! His car abruptly stops, it sounds like a crash. An alarm is wailing, echoing in Tom's ears, making him feel dizzy. The shock was so intense he hit his face against the airbag of his steering wheel leaving his skin half-burnt. He passes out.

Tom startles as he wakes up, "what the fuck just happened?" he hisses. He stays still giving time to his brain to proceed the information and checks his rear-view camera. It's been disconnected.

He jumps out of his car and checks what happened. He collided with another vehicle. A much smaller car with a crushed bumper. Tom's car is damaged as well, but he doesn't care, he walks over the small Fiat 500 and scans the surroundings. His heart is pounding; air isn't traveling down to his lungs. He suffocates as if he were trapped in a cage down the ocean. He doesn't control his shaking fingers rubbing against his sweating forehead. His lips are parting, gasping for air, while his eyes are wide open looking straight to the ground.

For a second, he realises that he can be in big trouble if anyone knows about this. This can be enough to be fired by the Marvel Studios and ruin his entire career, his life. No one wants a drunk superstar to ruin a movie's reputation.

He hesitates. He wants to run away. He faintly grabs his head in his weak hands and is heavily panting. He can taste iron on the tip of his tongue. He rubs his forearm against his mouth and feels wobbly at the sight of his own blood.

What is he going to do? Has someone seen what happened? And if he leaves, what happens to the unconscious person in the car? But if he helps them, what guarantees him he's not going to be prosecuted? And lose it all? But what if he leaves and this person dies? What if they die and someone knows he killed them? Each scenario is getting worse and worse.

There's only one viable option for him.

"Hey, are you alright?" he says as he approaches the fuming car.

He glances around, but the street is empty. That's the reason why he usually loves this place; because it's so quiet.

"Are—Are you okay there?" he stutters.

He opens the door and see blood. Dark, thick, red blood. An unconscious woman with blood all over her face is lying on the steering wheel. Her car is so old there is no airbag. The shock must've been tough for her. She might even have a brain injury.

Tom places his hand on this woman's neck to check if her heart is still beating. It's weak. She needs help or she'll die because of his stupidity, because he's a drunk who can't even check his surroundings before backing up his car. Poor woman whose life is on pause for his mistake. She'll die because of him.

He dials 999 on his cell phone and repeats what he's going to say once someone picks up the phone.

"There's a woman—she's injured! Car accident!" he cries. He doesn't even try to make sentences; he just wants this to be over. "Please come quickly"

"What's your name, sir?"

His body is wavering, tears are streaming down his face – it's absolute chaos in his mind. He can't tell his name; he'd rather die than publicly suffer from the consequences of his actions. He needs to fly away; he needs to escape from this nightmare. He needs to leave, and now.

He hangs up in a hurry. No one can know he is drunk, and he almost killed someone. He walks back to his SUV and catches one last glimpse of this woman's body before closing the door and driving away.

As soon as he leaves, he regrets his decision, but sticks to it anyway. His soul is crying for him to go back there and help this dying life, but his cowardice tells him to hide and wait until this is over. He's reaching his lowest point, and the only person he wants to see now is his mum. When she holds him in her arms, the weight of his problems is bearable; he can even feel relaxed. And he wishes she'd be able to do it tonight. But it would kill her to know what monstrosity her son just did . . .

He's home, all alone. It's been a few hours since the incident happened, and Tom can't think of anything else. This woman's face, her blood all over the windshield, her crushed car.

Why didn't she see him? Why was she driving so fast in an empty street at night? So many questions roam in Tom's brain, it's slowly eating him alive.

He's sobering up as the morning lights glow on his face. It's already 6AM and he hasn't slept at all. He watches himself in his bathroom mirror and only see dark circles, pale skin, and the features of a monster. The broken blood vessels in the white of his eyes give him an evil aspect. He raises his arm and see the pink burnt skin, another scar for life. How on earth could he leave a dying woman?

He doesn't only feel remorse; he doesn't recognise himself. He's lost and wonders what happened in his life to be so miserable he considers his career more important than someone else's life.

He firmly rubs his face with the palms of his hands and takes off his clothes in a simple sweep. He crawls onto his bed and covers his body with a weighted blanket. He's almost trying to forget he exists when he squeezes his eyes shut and stops breathing until his lungs pressure him to open his mouth. Nature has done a wonderful job preventing us from suffocating on purpose. What a bummer for Tom; he would be dead already if he could just stop breathing . . .

He takes his phone, his only friend and his worst enemy, and checks the local news. Maybe they've mentioned the accident and he'll be able to know what happened to his woman. Not many articles have been published since last night. He keeps scrolling until he finds what he's been looking for.

25-year-old in coma after accident in Southeast London, fugitive remains unfound

Tom's heart skips a beat; this article must be about her. For a second, he apprehends and hesitates to read the article. But his guilty mind needs to know everything about what happened since he deserted.

As he reads the article, he gently places his hand over his mouth to stop him from crying out loud. The woman was so heavily injured they needed to put her under artificial coma to keep her alive. She was on her way to meet her dying husband, in the same hospital she's at now.

Such an emotional shock inflicts a profound pain to Tom's heart. He sobs in silence and passes out due to sleep deprivation. He's finally at peace; no thought, no nightmare. His mind is off, and his body is fully regenerating. His brain is solely focused on keeping his body alive. His soul is resting for a few hours until his cell phone starts ringing.

Tom wakes up with a start and answers his phone without checking who's on the line.

"Tom, what are you doing? I've been knocking at your door for the past 10 minutes," shouts his brother "what happened to your car? Dude what are you doing? You've gotta get ready for GQ!"

"Wh—What?" he mumbles.

His brother knocks at the door. Tom gets off his bed and walks down the stairs with difficulty. When he opens the door, the lights blind him, it's too sunny outside. He'd rather stay inside for a few more hours.

His brother checks him out and sighs. "Have you been drinking? The photoshoot is in less than an hour and you look like shit"

Tom remains silent, trying to process the information.

"And what happened to your car, man?"

And here it is. Every memory comes back in his mind like fireworks and his feet are failing, he can barely stand still. He grabs his brother by his shoulder and holds him tight in his arms. He's the only one who can really help him feel better. He wants to tell him everything that happened, but he can't admit he's got a problem.

He's lost.

* * *

Thank you so much for reading! What do you think so far of the story? Tom is in a very bad situation, I wonder how he's going to get through it?

Please like this post to be in the taglist.

#tom holland #tom holland series #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fic #tom holland fiction #tom holland imagines

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cyberneticlagomorph · 2 years ago

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You wake up in the barracks with a start, smacking your head on the bunk above you.

… wait.

It takes you a moment to collect your thoughts and figure out where you actually are.

Barracks.

Haven.

Ursumbra.

H…

How are you here?

You're not alone either, not in the slightest.

There are players-- people all around you, waking up just as dazed and disoriented as you feel.

You watch a plush swallow/biblically accurate angel have an immediate panic attack as he realizes where he is.

He shouldn't be here either, he says, head in his hands.

All 20 something of his teal eyes rolling in terror.

"N-no no no you don't understand, I was sick and I went to sleep and I woke up HERE, how am I here??" His voice sounds strangled, like he's struggling with his emotions.

Trying with every fiber of his being not to cry.

"Sick? How sick, what kind of sick?" You crawl towards the angel on paws and knees to avoid the worst of the churning crowd.

He looks at you like you're insane but talks to you anyway, "I-I dunno, all I remember is running a Dungeon here with a few buds and we lost track of time so they logged out but hey it's my day off tomorrow and I've still got juice to spare so I kept going.

It…

It wasn't until I woke up in the hospital that I knew I'd been playing for longer than just an extra few hours but, even then I couldn't stop? It's like the game was calling me y'know?

I dreamed about it, all the time.

Then the coughing started… an-and the Nightmares, these horrible fucking Nightmares about…" He stops, staring off into space with his eyebrows furrowed. "I… I can't remember what they were about… but-but I wrote them all down? I drew fucking pictures why can't I remember??"

He starts panicking again, worse this time as he smacks the side of his head and tries to jump start his brain.

Someone grabs your shoulder and you whip around to face them.

"Hey man, can you log out?" asks a wine colored capybara.

You pull up your menu and try but just… it's like there's nowhere to log out TO.

The player who grabbed you watches the horror dawn on your face and nods in frightened understanding, "Yeah me neither, what about your friend? Can he leave?"

You open your mouth to tell this stranger that the bird is also a stranger to you but said bird interrupts before you can and offers confirmation in the form of terrified sobbing and manic babble.

"Thought not." The grabby player disappears into the crowd but you can still hear them asking the same questions to anybody that will listen.

After a while you make it outside into Haven proper.

It's bustling, packed to the gills with frightened people.

You can feel the server straining as if it was never meant to accommodate this many players.

Doors and other objects are starting to break and lag, several pebbles hang in the air after being disturbed and become immovable obstacles.

A short tune plays over unseen intercoms that ring out across the entire server.

Silence falls like a blanket as a calm, prerecorded voice begins to speak.

"Attention players, we are aware of the ongoing issues concerning logout functionality and are doing our best to remedy them in a timely manner, the only advice we can currently give you is that if you can log out please do so immediately and do not log back in until notified. Thank you for your continued cooperation."

Chaos erupts again almost immediately, with players screaming complaints and expletives at the empty sky.

A few try throwing rocks or loose furniture only for their projectiles to glitch out and despawn or freeze in midair.

There's another player following you around like a lost baby duck but you don't really pay them much attention as you wade through the mess to the gates and plop yourself outside them.

You need space.

You need air.

Your mind is reeling and you really really need it to stop.

The other player stands next to you, almost protectively.

But in a 'puppy who thinks it's doing a good job but is really just being cute' sort of way.

They're so new they don't even have SKIN, they're just a vaguely shaped fluff creature with a sprout on their head and two big black eyes.

It's somewhat unnerving but you can't exactly do much about it and just let them stand there.

Sometimes they hop menacingly at approaching players to get them to shoo.

You see them hopping again and don't really think about it until you hear a familiar voice, "Hey! Stop! Stop it!! I know them, you weirdo!"

Eddie bops the fluff creature with her pinking shears and tackles you in a hug.

"Ohmigod I'm so glad I found you!" She nuzzles you like an excited cat and you watch the fluff creature from over her shoulder, they draw their tutorial knife and gesture at Eddie in a very 'is she bothering you queen?' way, but relax when you shake your head and hug Eddie back.

"Are you stuck here too? What's going on? Where's Nick?" You headbutt Eddie gently, the sounds of your horns clacking together is beyond comforting.

Eddie shakes her head, "No I'm OK, Nick heard something fucky was going on but he's at work so he sent me in to check up on you."

That… that feels like a red flag but you can't be sure.

"Why me?"

Eddie shrugs, "You're his friend and this is the only way he can really get ahold of you? That man could pack bond with a singular grain of sand and accurately find it every time."

She sounds wistful, as if she's blushing in meatspace.

You still feel suspicious but you don't act on it any further.

"You should log out, the devs or the admins or whoever just told people to log out if they can and not to come back until they say so." The fluff creature has found your tail and is mesmerized by it for some unknown reason, you flick it away from them and they immediately follow it.

Eddie watches with raised eyebrows, "Who's your friend?"

"They're not my friend, they just stuck themselves to me at random."

Fluffy (that's what you're calling them now) deflates as if hurt and slinks off dramatically to go pretend-sulk in a corner.

It makes you smile for the first time all day.

"Hey, can you do me a favor?" You hold Eddie's paw.

"Yeah, sure, what is it?"

"I need you to get a message to my wife."

#ic #action post #ask to tag #religious imagery

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obeyme-headcanons · 3 years ago

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Now this is something I really want to do in the game. And I'm so dissapointed that we cant. So....I've written it down!! :)

What if MC helped clear ALL of Mammon's debts??

A/N: Much fluff, a G/N MC, and possible TWs.

TW: Much fluff, blood, some cursing, mean witches 😡, some bullying, and a wholesome baby Mammon 💛.

Please enjoy!! :) 💛

Mammon comes into your room all bloody and bruised. He staggers a bit before plopping on your bed next to you.

"M-Mammon...are you okay??" You question. You hear a muffled grunt from your left side.

"Mammon? Who did this to you?" You hear silence. Mammon must not want to answer. You think about who could've done this. His brother's are abusive, but only mentally. No lesser demon would dare mess with the second-born. Hmm. Wait, wasn't Mammon summoned by the witches earlier? It must have been them. They're always attacking him in some way,

"Mammon? Did the witches do this to you," you ask. "Please tell me the truth." The second you finish, Mammon lifts his head to you, and you see tears running down his face. From his reaction, it's safe to say the witches did it.

"Why would the witches do this?"

"It because of my DAMN debt!! I don't know what I did to them...*sniff* I never even met them before they came up and told me I owed them!!"

Poor Mammoney. He didn't deserve this. Every day, he either came back with nothing, bruised and bloodied or so emotional. Mammon kept talking about the witches, and what they'd do to him. He was spiling his heart out.

"And one time...OH!! I can't forget about...then they said..." Mammon kept going. Eventually, he stopped talking, realizing what he'd just said. You getting more furious, you kept thinking if a plan to get Mammoney out of debt. Getting more furious at the witches with each of Mammon's words, you can't think of anything. So you decide to try and make him feel better at least,

You fix Mammon up, get him emotionally stable and watch his favorite movie. He rests his head on your shoulder, and you die inside. How the hell is he so cute?! You slowly take out your D.D.D, set the brightness all the way down, and snap a few pictures. You head over to devilgram, of course stopping by your settings to update your wallpaper, and scroll around. You find a certain demon's page, supposedly the owner of ristorante six, and scroll.

You see a post of the demon stating that they need more workers. The pay seemed pretty good! 10 hours a day for 10k Grimm! Sure, it'd be hard. And painful and annoying. But you already had quite bit of Grimm saved up. About 666k (😈) to be exact. And you'd do anything to see him smile. So you DM the demon and ask for an interview. They accepted and wanted to see you the next day after 2. You smiled and sighed, praying to Lord Diavolo you could get the job.

"Hey, human. Where are ya going?" Of course Mammon had to barge in. Not that you hated it, now just wasn't a good time. All dressed up, you glance around nervously.

"Ahh, I'm just...going..." You couldn't find the words. You had to make up an excuse for this man. "Ahhuumm..."

"Jeez human. Just say you're going out! It's not that hard, ya know?" He sighed. With his hands on his hips, he pauses, and walks out. You're confused, but understand when he comes back with your backpack.

"H-Here you go. Sorry I took it. I was looking for Goldie-"

"It's okay Mammon." You walk over, kiss him on the cheek and walk out the door. His face turns red and he's very glad you walked out. After he's calmed down, he knows something is up. Everytime you go out together, you never dress up. Are you going to see someone? Do you not like him?? His thoughts spiral until he convinces himself that even if you did find someone, at least they made you happy. Not like a scummy, stupid brother would be able to do the job. But hey, he could hope. Right?

"So that's why you want this job..." and you nod. You see them ponder for a moment. "Okay. You're hired!!" You jump. It was unexpected and surprisingly very easy. You thank them over and over again and ask them when you can start.

"Right now if you're up for it! We're short on staff today, so I'm paying whoever works a little more today." You eagerly nod, and you're shown to the staff room. You put on your apron, and get to work. At the end of the day, you get 2k more than you should have. And including the tips you form in total you got 15k Grimm. Not bad for a first day! Exhausted, sweaty and hungry, you walk home with a coworker and head inside.

It's a good thing no one was awake. You make it to your bed and melt. To help pay off his debts and give him a little extra money, you're going to have to work-overtime. Meaning you can't hang out with the brothers anymore. Especially Mammon.

"Sorry Mammon..." You whisper, before falling into sleep.

It's been 5 months since you've started working. Luckily, Mammon had also been trying to pay off his debts. Which has helped you alot, but now you have enough money to help pay Mammon's debts off. But you're tired, and he can wait until morning, right? You slowly walk home and luckily no demons come to pick on you. You thank Lord Diavolo. You slowly open the door so it won't creak.

Luckily no one is awake. Except for Lucifer and Beel. You practically zombie walked into your room because you were so tired. Your about to open your door, but you hear a small sob. You stop in your tracks and listen.

"T-They don't love me. Why would they? I'm just a s-scummy second-born..." it sounded like Mammon. And by what they said, it confirmed your beliefs. And you're pretty sure he was taling about you. You open your door and walk in. Mammon looks up at you in surprise.

"Y-You weren't supposed to be back for another hour." He says while sloppily wiping off his tears.

"Well, they let me go early," You respond. You need to tell him. "Mammon..I have something really good to tell you. I-"

"Save it human. I already know, I don't want any details."

"You do? Mammon, isn't it wondererful?! Now you won't be bullied by your brother's or the witches!"

"If anything, they'll bully me more..."

"W-Why would they continue...?"

"Because they know I love you," he slams his head onto a pillow that oddly looks a lot like you. " And now you're going out with someone. I don't want any details. But...do they treat ya well?" His head pops back up, and you can see the tears in his eyes. His question hurt. Why would he think that?

"Going out with someone? Why would you think th-" you finally connect it all together. Leaving at 2 to get home at 12, if not later. Always dressing up and giving Mammon less and less time and attention to Mammon. It doesn't help that this has been going on for 5 months. And now that you got your last paycheck, you thanked them, quit and wished them well. You were free of that hell.

"Mammon, I'm not seeing anyone." You walk closer to him and rest you're hand on his cheek, and he blushes a little.

"Then why were you gone so much?"

"Silly demon. I was helping you pay off your debts!"

"You what...?" You could see the confusion in his eyes. But you also saw a glimmer of hope.

"That's right. I was gone for 5 months to help you pay of your debts to your brother's and the witches! And...I may have put a little money of Goldie."

"B-But why?" He realized there was no reason to lie about this. His eyes lit up and he perked up. But he was still so very confused.

"Because, I see what they do to you. And you just take it, like a man." He blushes at the word 'man', but gladly takes your compliment. You climb onto your bed, make room for him and pat the side next to you.

"Now come on Mammon. I'm tired, and I need snuggles." He blushes but gladly climbs in. He wraps his body around yours, pretty much pretty much protecting you from anything to come.

"Goodnight Mammon..." You whisper, before falling into the best sleep you've ever had.

The next day, Mammon is more than ready to pay off his debts. He pays off the witches and each of his brothers. You loved the look he had on his face. The witches could no longer attack him and his brother's could no longer verbally abuse his either. At the end of the day, he was excited to find out he had 500k Grimm on his card. He thanked you and pulled you into the biggest hug ever.

"Thank you MC...I feel more safe than I have been in decades." The comment made you sad, but made you smile. No one could hurt him, because you'd be there to protect him.

"I love you Mammoney...💛💛"

"I love you MC..." And you share a tender kiss.

The end~!!

Did you enjoy it? Give me more ideas please! My brain is too smol. Bye my little Grimm!!

💖 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤

#obey me #obey me mammon #obey me fluff #what if MC helped clear all of mammon's debts #yes #what am i doing #hello mah beautiful grimm

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osamiiya · 4 years ago

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Pairing: Tendou Satori x Reader

Type of fic: Angst (But make it like, the middle to end)

TW// Death, panic, slight panic attack

Summary: Tendou's in love, and he'll stay in love, because, how could he forget you?

A/n I'm back baby, also I cried while writing this so good luck 🤩

Songs I listened to while writing: Love Like You (Caleb Hyles) , Be my Mistake (The 1975) , Mr Loverman (Ricky Montgomery), Lonely (Noah Cyrus), She used to be mine (Jessie Mueller), Before you go (Lewis Capaldi)

"Satori~" Tendou turns around, grin only growing as he hears your sing song voice call from around the corner.

He watched with bated breath, letting out a soft sigh and a heartwarming smile, as he holds out his hands and pulls you into his chest. Taking a deep inhale and exhale.

"How did you sleep?" His grin is soft, and those who've only seen a sinister smile on his face from volleyball would be surprised at how full of love and adoration it held. Truly, Tendou's paradise from the rest of the world, a breath of fresh air from those who found him creepy or weird.

No, you weren't like them. Ever since the beginning you were always the first to jump in to defend Tendou, who had just started to shrug off the looks and whispers of those around him.

"The best sleep I've ever had."

"Yeah?" Tendou sways the two of you in his arms slightly, his tall and thin frame trying it's best to keep you warm from the fall air.

"I had a nightmare." Tendou hums, clearly not worried about it.

"You did?" Tendou's heart squeezes in a way he can't describe as you look up at him with innocent eyes.

"Yeah, your bus was in a car crash." He hums, chills running down his back as remembers the rush of feelings that accompanied the dream.

"Well, I'm here now, besides it's just a dream." Too engrossed in his conversation with you, Tendou isn't aware of the worried look Semi sends him and then Ushijima.

But before he can formally say anything, Ushijima interrupts him.

"He'll be ok. He always is."

---

Tendou's absolutely sure that the looks he's gotten from people in the halls have passed just staring because he was weird looking, there was some underlying message in the stares now, something he couldn't decode.

"Don't mind them Satori." You tug on his uniform blazer, marching ahead of him slightly, eager to get to the convenience store.

"You know y/n. Eating ice cream in the winter leads to all sorts of bad things." Tendou leans over you as you pick out an ice cream from the ice chest, hands coming to your hips and subconsciously rubbing circles into the uniform fabric as he pretends to compare the different ice cream types, as if he wouldn't get the same ice bar he always got.

Tendou's eyes sparkle with happiness as you pick out a new flavour, turning over your shoulder to smile and show him the ice cream you picked.

As always, Tendou pays. Something about how you can repay him later, maybe when a manga he really wants comes out.

"Satori, do you want to try?" There's a mischievous smirk playing at your lips as you hold out the ice cream. After stopping on a park bench, not to far away from the school, the two of you just couldn't wait to have the slowly melting ice creams.

Instead of licking the ice cream as you expected him to do, Tendou leaned over and planted a kiss on your lips, humming as he pulled back and licked his tongue over his lips, smirking at your bewildered expression.

"Tendou." Ushijima's curt voice pulls both of your attentions away from eachother and to the stoic boy above you.

"Ushiwaka, sorry we didn't get you an ice cream. You don't like them anyways, but I did get you..." Tendou trails off, rummaging through the white plastic bag you had acquired at the store, a polite smile on the underplayed college student's face.

Tendou lets out an 'Ah ha!' as he procures the mint chocolate flavoured protein bar you've seen Ushijima eat during practice before.

Ushijima takes it from Tendou's outstretched hand, a polite and curt thank you as he sits next to Tendou.

"We were about to talk about the literature project." Tendou hums, sending you a wink and taking a careful bite of his ice cream.

"Tendou, y/n is gone." It's like ripping off a bandaid, it hurt to see his best friend push himself deeper into a fantasy he created of his own imagination.

"Silly Ushiwaka, they're right-" Tendou's stomach drops as he turns and sees you with a sad smile spread over your features, eyes glassy.

"No, they're- Ushiwaka they're right here." Tendou's confused, was this a prank?

"Tendou, y/n's bus was in a very bad accident, and they didn't make it out of the hospital." Tendou lets out a dry and nervous laugh.

"No, that was my nightmare last night, there's no way..." Tendou's blood runs cold and his hands are shaking.

'Not my Y/n. He's talking about the wrong Y/n.' Tendou's thoughts are too quick for him to keep up with, quick breaths coming out in short bursts.

Words are trapped in his throat as he looks between you and Ushijima. Ushijima's face uncharacteristically full of pity, and your's sad, a tear rolling down your cheek.

"Ushijima I think I need a minute." Ushijima nods at Tendou's serious voice, on the verge of breaking, and gets up, walking a good distance away.

"You're gone?" Tendou's hands are shaking as his voice cracks, wanting to reach out to you.

"Satori, listen to me ok? I love you. Don't ever forget that." A tear rolls down Tendou's face as his thoughts become clearer by the second.

What was once incomprehensible static in his head taking the shape of a word, then two, until they formed a sentence.

'Y/ns gone.'

A sob claws it's way out of Tendou's mouth, and he feels like he's in elementary school again.

"Make sure you don't give Goshiki too much of a hard time ok? He's always trying to impress you guys." Both of your hands are on Tendou's face at this point, and it scares him that he can't feel you, your warmth gone, your presence hanging on by a thread.

"Always eat enough ok? I know you don't have a big appetite, but don't get sick while I'm gone ok? Don't skip out on your meals, please." There's tears running down your face, and Tendou finally notices how you're not really there, tears falling quickly, like rain on the bench.

"You're not here?"

You stop wiping his tears away, giving him a sad smile and a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm at Tokyo Cemetery, darling." A bone shattering shiver rolls through Tendou as he lets out another sob.

"You can't go, I need you." Tendou's shaking, trying to suppress a scream in pain, his body overflowing with realizing and pain.

"You've been in denial Satori." You wipe his tears and leave a kiss on his cheek, and it kills Tendou inside because he can almost feel it. He wants to feel it. Tendou wants to feel your lips on his cheeks.

"Be good ok? Remember how we were going to go to Paris? Take my memory there, take me around Paris using that photo in your wallet. Kiss me goodnight, don't forget me." Your voice is strained and Tendou can't breathe.

"You hear me Satori? Don't forget me, ok?"

"Ok." He manages, it comes out forced , and very much real. A contrast to the life he's continued to live with you in his head, his body and mind now painfully aware that he'd been walking around like a husk of his last self, his mind entertaining the hope and the denial that, you y/n, were still alive. And Tendou could kiss you, and hold your hand, and see you in his jersey one last time.

'Y/ns gone.' And with that Tendou's back to the reality he hates, where you're gone. Tendou can't breathe and his mind feels like it's a tape recorder on 3x speed.

His heart is beating and his hands are grabbing for something to ground him. Seeing his best friend break apart, Ushijima speeds over, taking big steps and allowing Tendou to grip tightly to his shirt, sobbing loudly.

"I didn't get to say goodbye." He chokes out, burying his head into Ushijima's stomach, letting out a yell of pain and heartbreak.

Ushijima feels his heart constrict at the demonstration of his best friend's pain, the red haired boy screaming into his maroon shirt, soaking through the fabric as he rests his hand on Tendou's head, rubbing it in a way he's seen you do it before.

"I loved them and I couldn't say goodbye." Tendou screams, voice raw and filled to the brim with pain, lanky body shaking violently.

"I didn't get to kiss them one last time. I didn't get to tell them I loved them. I never got to take them to Paris like we planned. I never got to give them my volleyball jersey and see them in the stands, cheering for me one last time."

Tendou and Ushijima stay like that for what seems like hours, Tendou buried in his best friend's embrace, needing to be grounded from his raging thoughts.

"I loved them Ushiwaka." Tendou whispers, no longer shaking, voice and eyes hollow.

"I know Tendou." Ushijima tried his best to sound gentle, he knows that Tendou needs it.

"I didn't get to say goodbye." Tendou's like a broken record as Ushijima helps him get off the park bench, plastic bag filled with two uneaten melted ice creams picked up and thrown out.

"We were going to see the eiffle tower." Tendou whispers from his bunk above Ushijima's.

Body heavy with exhaustion, he's about to sleep when he sits up suddenly, hands panicked as he searches for something.

"Tendou?" Came Ushijima's voice from the below bunk.

"My wallet, where's my wallet?" He's stammering and his voice is raw from sobbing and his hands are shaking as he looks.

"Tendou." Comes Ushijima's calm voice as he gently hands Tendou the wallet.

Immediately Tendou opens it, digging through to find the picture he's sure he kept in there.

Pulling it out, he smiles gently, all run out of tears, as he brings the photo shakily to his lips, kissing the photo gently and smiling, looking into your eyes, frozen in time, no idea of the future, just pure happiness.

"Goodnight, my paradise."

---

Permanent Taglist

@sachirou-senpai @prayerofthehaim @ryusex-wife @x-ia-n @wompwomphq @elianetsantana @jovialnoise @yuujiya @peteunderoos @curiouslilbeast

#Anyways what did you think.#*?#tendou angst #tendou x reader #tendou imagine #tendou satori x reader #tendou satori #tendou satori angst #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #tw// death #tw// panic #tw // panic attack #tendou scenario

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imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl · 4 years ago

Text

The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 16 of 18)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 3 K

Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...

As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?

<- Previous part (15)

Next part (17) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

The Loss Of A Friend

You've never been to a funeral. Well, you did, but you were a kid and you didn't know the family friend who was being buried that day. In your child's mind, you didn't get why everyone was wearing black, in uncomfortable silence, crying all day long. You remember clearly that a blue bug got your attention, making your eyes follow its every move, making you smile despite the sad atmosphere.

It couldn't be more different today.

As the coffin is lowered into the ground, where Jason will forever rest now, you hold Billy's hand, the soft fabric of your black dress tickling your tights. You barely feel it though, all your sensations resumed to the weight in your chest, crushing, squeezing your ribs, smashing your heart.

You suddenly remember the day Monica introduced you to Jason. It was the Saturday before you started working at the pool, in the parking lot of Starcourt Mall. He had his little brother on one arm, and the girl walking beside him, tugging on the hem his shirt.

“So that's the new girl.” He said, a smile spreading across his lips as he reached out his hand for you to shyly shake. “I'm Jason, born to bear the weight of being Monica's cousin, but also the coolest guy you'll find in Hawkins.”

That, of course, started a small war of cheesy pick-up lines, insults, and sarcastic comments. You laughed, feeling easily welcomed by Monica's cousin.

Now, what gets your attention is how his young siblings cry, yell, calling out Jason as is he was just sleeping inside the wooden box and would wake up, smile, and start chasing them around again. He won't. Jason is only a memory now.

“I think we should go,” Billy says in a low voice, letting go of your hand to rub your arms softly.

Nodding, you let him guide you to his Camaro, driving you away from the sea of people dressed in black. You've known Jason for such a little time compared to everyone else here, who saw him grow up, studied with him, lived near him for many years. Your pain is just a speck of dust compared to theirs.

When you get home, the sun is setting. You decide to call Diane, just to make sure she's alright, but you don't tell what happened. It would make her come here immediately, and the last thing you need is someone else you care about being in danger. You have to lie, despite hating yourself for it, telling her that your voice is funny because you had to yell a lot with the kids at the pool. But it's better this way. There are more than enough people here you need to worry about.

“Come here,” Billy calls when you finally head to the bedroom. He sits in the bed, back against the headrest and you're quick to crawl into the bed and into his arms. “How are you feeling?”

“I don't know. Sad doesn't really explain it.” Putting your legs over his, you hide your face on his neck, breathing in your favorite cologne, the only one he uses since the day you told him that. “I can't believe I buried Jason. Jason. My crazy-ass friend.” Your voice cracks and you hold back a sob. “I'll never hear those stupid jokes again.”

“I'm so sorry, princess.” There's a pain in his voice too. Billy has been around Jason a bit, mostly with you. But you know he's actually sad because of how broken you are. You can see it in his eyes, that he wish he could take your pain away, and that he's desperate because he doesn't know what to do.

But there's nothing Billy or anyone else could do. You can't fight death. You can't hit it with a baseball bat full of nails until it gives your friend back. The only thing you can do is avenge him. Get whatever took him and destroy it.

“I wanna kill those Demothings.” The anger in your voice is tangible, and you clench your hands into fists. “I swear to God, Billy, I'll kill one of them myself.”

“Anger won't help. We need to be smart about it. We need a strategy.” Billy is often angry with things. Mostly with things that hurt you, but this time, you get why he's taking another path, trying to calm you down instead of putting more wood in the fire. “The meeting is set for tomorrow. We'll find a battle plan to kill those damn things.” His hand comes to lay on your thigh, fingers softly caressing your skin. “But for now you need to rest, ok? I'll cook something you like and then we'll cuddle watching some nice movie. How does that sound?”

“What if I cry through the movie?” You ask because more tears start rolling down, it doesn't matter how many times you try to get rid of them.

“Then I'll hold you tight.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Billy is kind enough to try and get you into some small talk. Nothing too complicated, nothing related to the Demothings or Jason. You're thankful for that. He even manages to get a few laughs from you, although they're always followed by a reality check when the events of the last two days hit you again, and the smile is gone.

A couple of hours later you're watching Jaws, your head on Billy's chest as you try to follow the events of the movie. But it seems way too fast for you, or it's just your mind that's refusing to process anything that's happening.

You just keep thinking about death. About how Jason's whole life was cut short. How all of his plans for the future were erased.

“Billy, can I ask you something?” Keeping your voice low, you speak up for the first time since you came to the living room after having dinner.

“Of course, princess. What is it?”

Biting your lip, you consider if you should really bring that up. It's selfish to talk about your future when someone else won't have one. But this whole situation made you want to make plans because it's a privilege to still be here. It's a blessing to still have time. “What you said to Joyce about... Marriage. Did you really mean that or–” Pushing yourself up from where you were laying on top of him, you take a deep breath. “–or were you just trying to get out of the conversation. Because it's ok if–”

“Haven't I made it clear that I want to be with you for the rest of my life?” He moves to sit up as well, pulling you close until you're placed in between his legs, a hand caressing your cheek. “Because if I hadn't, I'll make it clear now. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I don't know how it happened, and it did get me by surprise, but the day you walked in the Hawkins Community Pool, I knew something changed in me. I knew I had to get to know you, and I did thought it would pass, that I'd get tired of you as I got of the other girls, but I didn't.” Billy holds you closer to him, your foreheads touching. “You hit me like–”

“Bang.” You finish for him, the memory of the day he was unbelievably honest with you coming back. The day he admitted to you, and somehow to himself too, that he liked you. It was also the day he punched David, and the day he kissed your cheek, making your stomach burn like it has been set on fire.

“Like bang.” He breathes out, warm lips coming in touch with yours. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him as close as you can, the need to feel that he's here, with you, clouding the sound of the TV. Billy moves to lay back down again, and when you move to follow his change of posture, your knee slips and connects to his ribs. “Ouch!” He breathes out, cutting off the kiss.

“Oh, shit. I'm so sorry.” Covering your mouth, you bring the free hand to rub his side. “Sorry, baby.”

Taking a deep breath, he grabs your arm and pulls you down, making you collide on his chest, giggling. “Sorry. I shouldn't be joking around with you now.”

Squinting your eyes at him, you try to get up, but his strong arms come around your body, keeping you from moving. “I hate you, Hargrove.” The fake sentence is soon overcome by a giggle. “I'll kick you right this time, I'm warning you.”

“Oh, I'm shaking like a leaf.”

“Don't test me, Hargrove. Keep in mind we sleep on the same bed and I know all of your habits, baby.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Mhmm.” Mumbling, you manage to stand up, moving back into a sitting position. You know he actually let you go, but there's no reason to acknowledge that. Taking a deep breath, the sudden happiness is stained again, as the memories crawl back. It seems like Billy notices because his smile softens. “I love living with you, you know that, right?”

“I love waking up next to you every morning.”

You can't help the smile that comes to your lips as you bend over again, kissing his lips.

On the next day, Billy calls Anthony to ask him to give you a few days off work. Obviously, you have to urge your hothead boyfriend not to curse the manager and risk losing his job. You feel fine to go to the pool, or you think you do, but the truth is you wouldn't be paying much attention anyway. And much to your dismay, Billy gets a total of zero days off. No discussion, what makes him hang up the phone so hard you thought he broke the poor thing.

Since you don't want to be alone, and Billy would absolutely never allow you to be alone in the house when you're friend just died, he drives you to Joyce's place, where the party will gather to make plans.

Saying it's hard to be away from Billy on the day after you buried Jason is a misunderstanding. Seeing him drive away from Joyce's porch makes you feel like he's taking your heart with him. He didn't seem pleased either, but there was no other choice. You wouldn't make him miss the day, since you know Anthony is a terrible human being, just looking for the right excuse to get rid of the lifeguards.

“Honey, come inside,” Joyce calls a hand on your shoulder. “Can I get you something to eat? We had pizza last night and I have a slice in the fridge.”

“No, thank you, Joyce.” Politely, you decline her offer. “Is there any bed I can crash in?”

“Sure. Come.” Walking through Jonathan and Will, you wave at them, muttering a good morning and trying not to cry at their sad faces. They know Jason was a close friend, and, like everyone else, they don't know what to do or say. “This is Will's and Jonathan's room. Just pick a bed.” Nodding, you choose the one on the left and lie down. “Do you need to talk?”

“There's nothing to say.” Putting your head on a pillow, you stare at the ceiling. You feel comfortable around Joyce, she has this mother thing about her. “I just want this to end. Before anyone else gets... Eaten.” The word makes you shiver as it brings the image of his body back. “I wish I wasn't the one to find him. To... See him that way. I don't think I'll ever forget that.”

“Honey, I'm so sorry.” She comes to sit on the edge of the bed. “When... When they found Will's body, it hurt. I knew in my heart it wasn't him, but the very idea of losing my baby was horrible. So I have an idea of how you feel. Losing someone is a pain that doesn't go away. You'll get used to it, but it remains. All we can do is learn to deal with it and honor them by carrying their memories.”

You're crying through her speech, and you can't help but sit up and hug her, crying on her shoulder. “We have to be careful because I can't lose anyone else.” You're not sure if she can even understand what you're saying, but since she nods, you think she did.

“Don't worry, honey. We'll all be alright.” She pulls away, rubbing both your arms. “The kids will be here soon, but feel free to stay here or join us, ok? Do whatever makes you comfortable.”

“Thanks.” Offering her a small, sad smile, you watch as she leaves.

You hear when they get here, the chattering starts, and you can understand a few words here and there. They talk about you, and about Billy and about the funeral. But soon enough it falls into the major problem. And that's when you tune out, staring at the ceiling, trying not to make yourself too comfortable in someone else's bed.

The only thing you want now is Billy. You want to go back to the time where there was no Demogorgon, Demowhatever lurking around. At least to you. It's weird to know what really happened in Billy's car accident, how he was almost the host for the Mind Flayer. You're happy it didn't happen, that he's here now. You need to thank Max for that, actually. If it wasn't for her and the others, your Billy wouldn't be here. He could be dead, and you'd never meet him. He'd never shoot glances at you, or drive you home, buy you tacos or punch David's face. Or kiss you, hold you, love you. The thought of a life without Billy in it is absurd. Now, more than ever, after you lost someone so dear, you have this need to be with him. Just to make sure he's here.

Breathing out and closing your eyes, your hand comes to hold the necklace. It makes you feel closer to Billy, and there is a silent promise here, one you hold close to your heart, together with the earring.

Eyes open, you get up of the bed. You don't care if you got days off, you have to see him. Even if it's just for a hug. Leaving the bedroom, you make your way to the living room, which is crowded.

“We wait until it's late at night to make sure the Demodogs are out, sneak inside the tunnels, and spill insane amounts of gasoline all over it. Get the hell out, wait until it's morning, and set the whole thing on fire.” Dustin says, hands in the air and a smile on his face.

He's kidding, right? He can't be suggesting that as if it's the greatest idea of the world. “Are you completely insane?” You ask, making your presence known. Arms crossed, your eyes scan through the party. “You can't possibly think this is a good idea.”

“I agree with (Y/N), this is insane,” Joyce adds, her face making it clear she thinks this idea sucks. “I won't let you do that.”

“But–”

“The point is to kill them without getting ourselves killed. And every single idea you come up with has a hundred different ways to get us killed.” Steve says, both his hand on his hips as he paces around the room. “Who thinks this idea sucks raise your hand.” He's the first to do it, and Joyce, you, and Jonathan do the same.

“Count Billy in.” You say, raising the other hand as well.

“And Hopper,” Joyce states, giving you an approving stare.

“It's six against seven. We're doing it.” Dustin exclaims.

“No.” You basically shout, not caring one bit if you sound bossy. All eyes lay on you as you struggle to keep it together. “We're not doing it and that's final.”

“I–”

“I just lost a friend and I will not let you do something that might just end up in another funeral.” There are tears threatening to fall again, but you hold them back. “So come up with something else.”

The silence is deafening. You know you're breaking down again, even though the tears aren't rolling down. Yet.

“Please. There's gotta be something else.” Lowering your voice and looking down at your feet, you beg. You can't even think about someone else dying. You couldn't bear it.

“I saw this thing at school. Like a robot with remote control.” Lucas starts. “If we could build a bunch of them and attach a hose, we could guide it inside the tunnels and spread the gasoline.”

“Yeah, but there are seven holes. Which means a lot of ground we'd have to cover.” Eleven adds as you make your way to the group, sitting on the couch beside Joyce.

“Let's blow up six of them.” You burst out, crossing your legs. “A hell of a explosion that would take those things days to dig it back. Then there will be only one way in and out. Find a hell of a long hose or just connect a bunch of them and a million gallons of gas. The robots will spread it then we'll just need a match.”

“That's good. It could work.” Nancy says. “But we'll need to chip in to buy all these things.

“Hopper can get some for free I'm sure.”

“We start right now.” Mike stands up and the others follow. “Let's get started.”

The rest of the day is hectic. Lists are made, one of the kids teachers come over to help with what they called a summer project. For fun. And the materials started arriving. You don't really know what to do, so you help Joyce make lunch, keeping up with her small talk. Joyce is easy to be around, and you like to hear her stories about Will and Jonathan. You even manage to show a few smiles every now and then. After everyone is fed, you finally sit on the porch, trying to help as much as you can. The kids are genius, literally building remote control robots from random pieces and the instructions from books. It's amazing. Since you can't really be of much help in this aspect, you join Nancy, separating stuff or doing anything they tell you too.

When the sun is setting, some of them had to go home to gather their stuff. They'll crash here and take the robot construction through the night. By the moment you hear the faint noise of Billy's car, it's just Joyce's kids, Steve and Dustin. Leaving the small pieces of metal you were shaping into tiny little circles, you stand up abruptly.

“Where are you going? These circles aren't going to make themselves.” Dustin complains, raising his hands in the air.

“Billy is back.” There's no need for further explanation, so you tiptoe among the stuff, careful not to step on anything.

“It could be anyone.”

“Dustin, is there any other car in Hawkins that sounds like that?” As you speak, the noise gets louder and Billy's car comes to your sight.

“She knows her boyfriend's car.” Steve jokes as you walk to the yard, smiling when Billy stops the car and comes out.

“Miss me, princess?”

“Obviously.” It's a feeling of pure relief to see him. It feels like it's been so much longer than just some hours, but you feel that you'll have this insane need to be around him for a while. Just to enjoy the fact that you're still alive. You can't help but wonder for long the idea of death will hover over you... Probably forever.

“You ok?” He asks, his hand on your hair as you have your head on his chest.

“I will be.” Remembering the audience, you pull away, standing on your toes to kiss him. “Dustin had a terrible idea but I made him change his mind about it.”

“How did you do that?”

“I yelled.” With no intention of further explanation, you turn at the guys. “I'll be back tomorrow morning, alright? Have fun doing crazy science.” Waving at them, you get into the car.

You would like to stay at Joyce's, keep helping as much as you can, but you feel like you need silence and peace. The kid's laughter and jokes make you feel better, but you know that you also need to let the sadness creep over for a while. Keeping it hidden, disguised, makes no good. So as you dry and brush your hair, waiting for Billy to finish his shower, you cry.

For Monica, for Jason's younger siblings, his mother, his father, uncle, and aunt. For every friend he made since he was born. And for yourself too. Jason was one of the people that you imagined you'd be around for the rest of your life.

You're dragged away from your thoughts by the phone's ring. Rushing to answer it, you find it's Joyce, kindly asking if you can pick Mike up and drive him to her place, and of course, you comply.

“Billy.” You call when you hear him coming out of the bathroom. “Joyce needs us to pick up Mike. Nancy can't stop what she's doing there.”

“Sure. Let's go.”

Being out at night makes you anxious, but you try not to let it show. Eyes on the road, you bounce your leg nervously, tugging on the seat belt. Billy notices, and a hand comes to rest on your thigh.

“We'll be fine. Relax.”

“I'm trying.” Stretching your arm, you touch his neck. “I'm sorry if I can't stop thinking about Jason and what happened.”

“(Y/N), you just lost a friend. My responsibility as your boyfriend is to hold and love you through this process. Don't apologize.”

“I don't want this to be your responsibility, Billy.” When he turns his head to look at you, you run your fingers through his jaw.

He takes a deep breath, pulling over by Mike's house. You were about to get out, but since he doesn't move, neither do you. Billy looks like he's thinking, furrowed eyebrows and distant eyes. “Billy? Come back to Earth.” You decide to ask, taking off the belt and turning your body towards his.

“To have and to hold. For better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.” He squints his eyes through the words, trying to remember them. It takes a while for you to understand what he means, and when you do, your heart starts drumming in your ears. “To love and cherish till death do us part.”

“Billy...”

“It means I'll stand by your side. Not because I feel like it's my responsibility, but because I love you. And I'm more than happy to take the responsibility of being your–”

“Couldn't you save that up for, I don't know, someday when I'm dressed in white?” The words come out fast, and you're blushing hard, your cheeks burning. “No. You had to do this now. Drive me insane now in your Camaro.” You roll your eyes dramatically when his lips break into a smile, that smug, cocky smile he has when he knows he got to you somehow.

“Be my wife, (Y/N).”

“No.” It's an utter absurd how hard you have to fight not to say the exact opposite. You want to just burst out the word, here and now, because you're so damn sure you want Billy for the rest of your life. “No, baby. We'll graduate, save up money and you'll make a decent proposal.” You hope he can't notice your hands shaking as you step out of the car, almost stumbling on the sidewalk. His words burn through your mind, sending shivers down your spine. “I won't say I'll marry you in the middle of the sidewalk, in the middle of the night, in front of Mike's house.”

“Did I just make you nervous?” Billy's arms come to encircle your waist, his deep voice, and breath on your hair making you sigh.

“Shut up, Hargrove.” With the sweet sound of his laughter on your ear, you knock on the front door, trying to push him away before someone comes to answer. “Let go.”

“Are you using my cologne again?” As soon as he asks, you feel his nose softly rubbing your neck, what makes you giggle and try to push him away again, uselessly. “You are.”

It wasn't your intention to let him find out, but he always does. “Well, it was–”

The door is suddenly open, a yellowish light hitting your eyes as you try to stand up straighter. The woman standing there gives a step back as if she just saw a ghost. Her eyes fly from Billy and back at you, then all the way back to Billy. It hits you suddenly as you realize she's Mrs. Wheeler, the woman Billy was going to meet on the day the Mind Flayer almost got him. They haven't met or spoken since that day, and you weren't expecting her to look so... Perplexed. You try to read her expression, to understand what the look in her eyes means.

“Hello, Mrs. Wheeler.” You manage to say because Billy clearly won't even try to be polite. You feel his muscles tensing up, as he gets immediately uncomfortable under the woman's stare since she doesn't seem to even try to hide. “Sorry to disturb you. We're here for Mike.”

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#imagine billy hargrove #billy hargove x reader #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove imagine #billy stranger things #stranger things imagine #imagine stranger things #stranger things fanfiction

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dabiboy · 4 years ago

Text

Here is part 2! Tbh I want to see more about Natsu's and Rei's reaction, and of course what is going to happen with Dabi, so enjoy the cliffhanger 👀 let me know if you'd like to be tagged!

Part 1

Rencounter [Part 2/?]

Two weeks ago

"Dabi?'' You said in surprise as you opened the door and he stepped into your apartment, ''I thought you were not coming until next week''

''We need to talk, y/n'' He said, not even looking at you. You walked towards him once the door was closed.

''Is everything all right?'' When you were facing him, you lifted a hand to caress his cheek but he abruptly pulled away.

''Stop that, for fuck's sake. Stop that.'' Your jaw dropped slightly, he was usually rough but that rough?

''Stop what?'' You asked in disbelief, moving your hand to its previous position.

''All of this, us'' You noticed how he clenched his jaw and then his blue eyes were right over yours ''This needs to be over, y'hear me?''

''What?'' You asked with a smile, a smile that was there because you thought he was joking, but when he didn't laugh you knew he was not faking it ''You're kidding, right?''

''I'm not kidding. This? You and I? Can't keep happening anymore. And thank me I came all the way here and not just fucking disappear from your life from one day to another.''

''I can't believe this, Dabi. Why? Yesterday you texted me, things were fine and I-'' He cut you off, not even paying attention to the tears in your eyes, or the confusion and pain in your voice.

''I was not made for this, I can't just be here and play the happy little couple with you. So fuck all of this.'' He turned over and started walking to the door again ''Sorry for making you waste your time'' And right then, getting out of the frozen state you grabbed his wrist, making him look at you over his shoulder.

''You're not leaving until you give me a reason,'' Holding back the tears, you spoke ''What the hell? Yesterday you sent me a text telling me that you loved me, that you cared about me and now this?''

''Can't you fucking see it, then?'' He scoffed, turning around again ''I care about you more than I should, y/n. And the only thing I'm doing is dragging you down with me, it is better if I leave.''

''We... We had this type of conversation before, and I already told you that-''

''Told me what? That you'll stay with me until the end? My end is near, and if I don't go to jail I'll die and drag everyone down with me.'' He raised his voice. ''Get away from me, move on. Get a fucking life, one that's better than the shit I give you''

''You don't give me shit, Dabi. I love you, everything about you and how you are when you're with me'' It was impossible to hold back the tears that were escaping from your eyes at that point.

''You think I haven't noticed? How you look at couples in the street? Or the way you smile at the screen when you see your friends sharing their damn life, getting engaged, having kids, moving together. I can't even take you out for a fucking coffee'' He snapped.

''I never asked you any of that! I smile because I'm happy for them, not because I want their lives!'' You snapped to. Why was it so hard for him to understand? ''I'm not planning getting married, either having kids. I don't want the world to know, I give a fuck about posting pictures and stories on Instagram, I just want to enjoy my time with you!''

''You're not enjoying it! You are worried all the fucking time, let me go! Forget about me, get you someone who gives you what you deserve!'' If he could cry, tears would be running down his cheeks as well. ''I'm broken, I'm cursed. I look like a fucking zombie, y/n. Get the fuck away from me before we both go down.'' Dabi said in between his teeth as he hit the table with his fist.

''Listen, I know you. I know you're not a role model, I know you've killed people and done even worse. I'm not romanticizing those actions, they're wrong as fuck but guess what, this society is wrong too. All that Enji did to you? How some actions are done by heroes are hidden? All the pain you went through? All of this is fucked up. But guess what, I fell for you, for the one I knew under all of that pain'' You almost yelled, feeling your eyes burning because of the tears and your heart racing.

''Oh you do? Sorry to break it up to you, but I'm nothing but a monster, a villain who doesn't regret his actions, and will not regret them.''

''The monster that tells me how much he loves me when he thinks I fell asleep? Or the one that plays with my hair when I'm sad?'' Dabi was silent ''Is that the monster you're talking about?''

''Y/n...'' Dabi denied ''You're not getting this. I might hurt you, and I don't want that.''

''You won't. I'm a grown woman, I know where I am standing, and I want to keep standing by your side. ''And I also know you might die soon, so please, don't push me away. Not now'' This time your voice was low, your chin trembling. You felt how his hand pulled you from your nape, making your forehead rest against his. It was his gesture, the one he used to do when he wanted to say he loved you but he couldn't, the one when thanked you for anything, or the one when he wanted just to be close to you but was too ashamed to ask.

''Are you sure about this?'' He whispered ''Are you sure you want to burn with me?'' Dabi's eyes were closed, clenching his teeth as he resisted the urge to kiss you and hold you in his arms.

''Today, tomorrow, and always'' You whispered back, caressing his cheek with your thumb as you sobbed.

............................................

Present time

Crickets and the sound of leaves against branches were the only sound filling the room, that and two lovers' breathing. You used one finger to trace Dabi's chest, drawing imaginary figures on his chest. The side of your body was holding your weight as you kept looking at him under the blueish light. Once you got tired, you pressed a soft kiss on his shoulder and lay down by his side, one hand on his abdomen and your face nuzzled against his neck.

''So you were really willing to burn with me'' He said suddenly, a raspy and tired voice.

''I told you I was'' You said, and then lifted your eyes at him ''How are you feeling?''

''Like shit'' He said, and then looked at the door ''y/n,'' he said in a low voice, still looking at the door ''Are they here?''

''Yes, they are.'' You said softly, having no idea how to approach that topic.

''What a lovely family meeting'' He chuckled and then coughed. ''This is so fucked up'' Dabi said again, moving his head to the side so it could rest on your temple.

''How can you still be an idiot even in this state?'' you said a little amused

''It is just who I am, doll. Can't help it y'know'' you felt a bit coldness in the hand that was on his abdomen, and it were the staples he had on his hand when he grabbed yours and squeezed it tightly.

Meanwhile, outside the room was someone watching every move. Her eyes were filled with tears, should she run over the man laying there or should she just wait? Rei thought that the second option suited best. His first son, the one who was wounded as much as physically and mentally looked in peace while laying next to the woman he loved. She had waited over years, a few hours more were fine. But what was Rei supposed to say to him? Was he going to hate her? Hate Natsu? Dabi was unpredictable, and his reaction had her worried. Maybe she was better at the hospital, isolated from all of that, but she already left her son on his own once, and now she had the chance to at least say sorry.

An hour passed, and you could tell Dabi was asleep again because of the rhythm of his chest, rising and falling slowly. His mouth was slightly open and his traits looked more relaxed. You left a kiss on his cheek before getting up, making your way towards the kitchen. Rei was standing in front of the window with a blanket over her shoulders, but she looked at you when your footsteps were louder.

''Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt'' You said with a small smile.

''You didn't'' She replied, looking calmer than you expected ''Is Tou-''She cut herself ''Is he okay?''

''Yes, he's sleeping right now. But tomorrow he'll be better, I think'' You smiled at her. It was hard to find the words, but just when you were about to say something, a male voice interrupted.

''Mother?'' Natsu asked, rubbing his eye with the side of his hand. ''Is everything ok?''

''Yeah, we were just speaking'' Rei said.

''Oh, I'm y/n by the way.'' You said looking at the two of them ''It is not the best way to meet but, here we are'' you shrugged your shoulders. ''I... I need to go to the village tomorrow to get some things, so... You can stay with him in the morning and, you know. I don't want to interrupt you'' you knew his story, and they had a lot to talk about.

''Maybe it is better if you're here. I haven't seen much but you're important to him, so probably he'll feel better if you're here''

The truth behind his words and Rei's agreement on Natsu's statement was that they were not sure what to do or how to act with him on their own. When Dabi was having hallucinations earlier, he recognized you. Rei saw you and him laying together, and she heard that tiny piece of conversation that told her you were important to him, someone he cared about. After saying that you were going to try and arrive earlier tomorrow so you can be there once Dabi's was awake, you gave them a smile so you could return to the room you were sharing with Dabi.

You lay back down, and you could felt how he moved and held you by the waist, pressing his chest against your torso, forehead against forehead as his hand was on your nape, using his thumb to caress the zone.

''Dabi! You're hurt, lay how you were'' You said worried, not even moving.

''I've been worse. Now shut up and just stay here'' Dabi mumbled, his scent and breathing close so close to you making you feel at home.

''Fine, you whining kid'' you laughed and heard him let out a low chuckle ''Do you need anything before I fall asleep?'' You asked, moving your fingers on his chest.

''A can of beer, maybe. Or you going down on me. Maybe you going down on my as I drink beer, that shit would be nice'' He said with a smile, making you laugh again.

''I'm serious, Dabi. Water? something for the pain?'' You asked again.

''I'm fine, dollface. Just keep your ass here by my side and don't go''

''Guess I could do that''

''You better''

You knew it. The way he held you, his snarky comments to avoid an answer, his hand on your nape, and silence. He was not Ok, he needed you there because he didn't know how to handle things at that point. His mother and brother were there, he saw them for brief seconds but it felt weird. His hate was against Endeavor, even against Shoto, but his mom? She was just another victim, and Natsu? He was there to hear him, to be a kind of support for him, how could he give them the same treatment as Endeavor? Those questions were screaming inside his head, and as they were becoming louder, the tighter he was holding you against his body.

Time kept moving, and before any of you could notice,

Morning came.

...................................

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#bnha+dabi #dabi #bnha dabi #dabi x reader #boku no hero academia #dabi headcanons #dabi imagine #mha dabi #Spotify

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