#just tag me ok ily all
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ms jay herself (and apple)
#ive been grappling with her design the most i feel.... i need it to be good enough for her đđđ ily jay ilysm wehhghghhhh#dude drawing the pin i realized just how much circles dont exist to me. theyve disappeared from my art completely. fuck you circles. fuck y#just roll with it#jrwi riptide#jay ferin#jrwi apple#i will tag every little critter ok it just feels right#my art#ok theres one bastard left i will deal with him.. later. maybe tmrw#fuck i got to the part where he gets some tats hhhgotta figure out how i wanna draw those#jay bad posture while tinkering is real to me. shes all hunched. shes shrimping.#she tinkers at night while the others r sleeping n she stretches n yells n wakes them up#guys i love drunk jay so much.... when her and lizzie got plastered... so good...........
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will you promise that i'll see you again?
summary: your people refuse reason, and their damage refuses to heal. when it seems as if the whole world has left you, your dutiful knight still remains by your side.
word count: 2.3k
-> warnings: implied suicidal ideation (reader + unnamed side character), reader's previous deaths are mentioned in somewhat graphic detail
-> gn reader (you/yours)
taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr || @yuryuryuyurboat || @undrxtxd || @rainswept || @wanderersqt || @rozz-eokkk
< masterlist >
âyouâre one of the only things keeping me going, you know.â
dainslef turned to you in surprise, the even neutrality to your tone a sharp contrast to the rapid pace of his heart. he wasnât a fool, he knew that the hunt had to be taking a heavy toll on you, but thisâŠ
this was more than he expected.
he knew he was one of a pitiful few who saw through celestiaâs false puppet, who knew you for you and not their mirage. he knew that the entire world was hellbent on erasing you from existence, that youâd been forced through your own death countless times as teyvat pulled you apart and pushed you back together far from the scene of your would-be murder. he saw the golden scars across your skin, the dried remains of blood lining the wounds you hadnât been able to patch yet. heâd been the one to wash them away, not minding the refuse soaking into his gloves if it meant your hands could be clean.
he recognized the dull exhaustion in your eyes, the same as the ones he saw in the reflections of lakes. tired, worn, barely there, hanging on by one solitary string that was wound so tightly around a desperate hand.
you had always been his reason for continuing. when the traveller broke down and the ruler of the abyss hid from the sun, you were there. when the chasmâs mud clung to his boots and the memories in his head burned as nails forced between his eyes, you were there. his rosary was kept tight to his chest at all times, familiar prayers pulling him up in the morning and forcing him to sleep at night. he was alive for far, far too long, but you made it bearable. you were his duty, his promise.
he never once thought that heâd be yours. then again, he never thought that heâd have to defend you from the ones you once called friends. time never did pass how he expected it to.
ââŠleading light?â
you looked down, twirling blades of grass around your fingers. he had led you up to a mostly desolate area of sumeru, west of bayda harbor. it close enough to the sea, forest, and desert that you could reasonably make an escape through any of those routes if need be, while also providing a rather pleasant view. the sky was bleeding red and gold as the sun sank below the horizon, a remarkable sight that fell on blind eyes. there was no use trying to enjoy natureâs beauty when he still kept one hand on his sword and both ears pricked for the slightest sign of danger.
you shouldnât have to worry about your safety. you shouldnât have to prioritize based on how likely you are to get hurt, or how easily it would be to make an escape. you still flinched when the wind blew a little too quick, used to it heralding armored footsteps and battle cries. in another life, you were welcomed with open arms, able to enjoy yourself without constantly being on high alert. teyvat did what it could to adapt; the air was still, frozen in time, barely a bird chirping for miles. it was meant to be comforting, he thinks, but dead silence was more unnerving than any breeze.
âi mean it.â he could hear every shift in his cloak around your shoulders, the heavy fabric doing little to soothe your stress. it was yours more than it was his now, to the point he felt claustrophobic wearing it. how long had he been traveling with you? the days blurred.
âi donât doubt you.â he never would. never could. heâs not sure, even if he somehow wanted to, that his body would allow him to treat your words as anything less than fact. âbut i donât understand what you mean.â
you were a god. the creator, the first, the one that shaped the sovereigns scales and laid the foundations of earth. you predated the archons, celestia, the very skies themselvesâŠ
and he, somehow, was a driving motivation for you?
his words must have been funny, a sharp laugh tumbling out of your mouth. it was bitter, humorless, and somewhat raspy. he made note to find some water for you later. âwhat else could i mean?â you turn to him, some of his confusion lost as your eyes found his. even this burnt out, deep bags set beneath them, you still managed to steal the very air in his lungs. âyouâre the only reason iâm still here.â
he didnât know what to say. what was there to be said, when you were you and he was him? when the world had abandoned you, it made sense youâd cling to what remained faithful. it was merely coincidence he happened to find you first, thatâs all. coincidence that you trusted enough not to run from, coincidence that you allowed to care for your injuries. there was nothing to say, because you held nothing for him in particular, only leaning on him out of need. he had to believe that. what was he left with if that wasnât true? an awkward truth hid beneath his well-known lies, too large for him to see the edges, let alone to contain.
âplease⊠do not say such things again.â to ask of his god what he could not ask of himself was surely some form of heresy, as was willingly laying aside his guard when he was the only one who was tasked with protecting you. he pulled his attention from the tide below, from the rustling trees, holding faith that the world would not be needlessly cruel. he stepped forward, kneeling beside you. even up close, you still seemed painfully small. âit is your own resilience that has allowed you to persevere.â
itâs the earth that leads you from danger.
itâs the water that follows you wherever you go.
itâs the leylines that whisk you to safety.
itâs the wind that warns you of whatâs to come.
itâs the you from the past that protects the you in the present.
itâs the you in the present that provides for the you in the future.
itâs you, from everywhere and everywhen, continuing to fight.
and yet you sigh. you look away, across the sea, tracing fontaines skyline. âit really isnât. i was lucky to run into you when i did.â
you had just crossed the wall back into the forest, burning hot and shaking. he was the lucky one, in truth, to be able to pick your figure out from the sand below. perched on a high cliffside, even mitachurls were reduced to small brown flecks.
you had worn a cryo mageâs cloak, which was what initially drew his attention. abyss activity wasnât uncommon in the area, but a cryo mage in the desert⊠that was cause for intrigue. he stepped forward and slid down the steep face in front of him, a slight puff of dust marking his landing in the desolate sand of old vanarana.
he didnât know what to expect. you stumbled around the jagged remains of a tree, heading for the statue of the seven. he followed, only growing more confused. cryo and dendro did not react with each other, and there was no way to âslowâ a statue. a scouting mission, maybe? but why a cryo mage, when pyro would have been far more advantageous in the case of an attack?
he leaned around the corner carefully, prepared for the sight of a staff or the chanting of abyssal magic filling the air. the entire world seemed to be holding its breath, frozen in place and waiting for some trigger to continue.
he saw none of that. you were collapsed at the foot of the statue, faint wheezing only making it to his ears by virtue of the standstill around him. you held no staff, commanded no magic, your chest barely moving with air.
heâd never seen a mage seek out the archons when dying. one hand squeezed the handle of his sword as he crept forward, ready to strike should the situation turn against him. the sand barely shifted beneath his feet, his own heart sounding too loud to his ears. you did not move, showing no signs that you had noticed his approach. he still didnât trust it.
your cloak was tattered and torn, with thick gloves atypical of a mage. they reminded him more of hilichurl wraps, which was strange considering you wore no mask. your face was instead covered by what looked like eremite cloth, just as stained and dirtied as the rest of your clothes. what he could see looked almost human; in another life, he could believe you were a weary traveller, lost amidst the sand.
he was acting foolish. if the abyss had a human tool, he needed to figure out why. he reached down, undoing the sloppy knot of your veil and letting the brocade fall limply to the grass.
âŠgrass. he blinked, eyes flickering between the ground and your face, not sure which was harder to believe. flowers had bloomed around you, protecting your body from the blazing sands, and heâd be a fool not to recognize the face plastered all over every bounty board.
he didnât understand. if nothing else, he thought the archons would have enough respect for their creator to know when they were being lied to, yet before him was barely living proof of the inverse. sweat beaded along every inch of exposed skin, deep-set heat exhaustion burning you from the inside out. how could you be a threat? how could they be so blind?
he looked again, the shine of elemental sight straining his eyes, catching flickers of the dendro energy pouring from the statue. you were the only one the archons would feed. you were the only one to make the very earth break its own rules, allowing lotuses to bloom from barren soil. something painfully similar to rage threatened what remained of his rationality, and it took all he had to push it aside.
that didnât matter. if he went off on some banal revenge quest, heâd be no better than them. your safety mattered more. he picked you up and set aside how calm his curse felt, beginning the trek back to his camp. behind him, the flowers already began to wither, losing their persistence without you to foster it.
perhaps that initial meeting was luck. but these was no luck involved in your trust in him. when you woke up and saw him at your side, you chose to trust him. you chose to believe that he was not like the others, that he would protect you, and he was forever grateful for that trust. nobody could fault you for being angry, for being spiteful about what you were put through and choosing to lash out. nobody would have the right to be upset if you chose to vent your wrath against those that had hurt you.
but you didnât. you chose, again and again, to believe in the world. you chose to let them live their lives, even if it meant getting hurt again in the process. you chose a quiet life traveling with him over the comfortable life on your throne. to willingly choose to travel with a disgraced knight to spare your people guilt⊠he couldnât decide if it was noble or reckless. either way, he was selfishly happy that he was the one to stay by your side.
âi wonât try to convince you. but, please.. do not give up on yourself so easily.â i know far too many who have died by the same hand. âthe world and its opinion does not define you. only you get to decide where fate leads.â
you lean towards him, and he thinks you might have passed out- but no, your head lands on his shoulder with far too much precision. he stiffens, not used to existence without a constant pain beneath his skin. âhow motivational. you tell all your soldiers that?â
his heart is beating too quickly, thoughts unusually hard to grasp. youâre the only one who could have this effect on him. he only wished it wasnât now, when your belief in yourself was on the edge. âi mean it. none of this is your fault, and neither are celestial actions the peopleâs fault. i know that you are hurt, but i donât want you to accept that main needlessly. you shouldnât have to view your creation with such pain.â slowly, carefully, he raises the hand closer to you, doing his best not to disturb you as he settles it on your arm. heâs can only hope that the contact brings you as much comfort as it does him. âif nothing else, believe me. promise youâll at least try.â
he doesnât think youâll agree. why would you make a promise to one who represents the heavenâs betrayal? why would you let him hold you close at all, when you can surely sense the bindings of those who tried to kill you wrapped tightly around his soul? he doesnât know. all he can do is hope.
ââŠalright, dainslef. i promise.â
twilight has long since fallen, and yet he smiles for the first time in centuries.
#genshin#genshin impact#genshin sagau#sagau#self aware genshin#dainslef#sagau dainslef#dainslef x reader#genshin dainsleif#dainslef x you#gender neutral reader#genshin impact x gender neutral reader#genshin x gender neutral reader#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin x gn reader#hes so shaped.... ily dain <3#just... shut up about dain's perspective of the creator. shh. its for the plot.#filtering should pick up on the warnings section and its very brief but to be very safe#tw sui ideation#tw suicidality#< popular tags; someone please tell me if i should use others too#to answer your unasked questions No i was not ok writing this. my ass was Exhausted#to be very clear i am better now were all good i was just having an awful two days#but we are so fucking back#had this marinating for a while just to like scrub out the more indulgent parts of it#there was a whole monologue about 'i cant fix it but i will be there for you. i cant make it go away but i can make it easier.' but. yk.#didnt fit the plot el em ay oh
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Happy Birthday to the Best Cook Ever đđđ
#look i know that i talk about Zoro all the time but you guys don't know how much i love Sanji#he is actually one of the reasons why i started watching One Piece and i just LOVE drawing him#i have like 100 drawings of the curly cook <333#anyway happy birthday to this idiot that has bringed me so much joy and has made me cry so fucking much (*looks at Sanji's Backstory*)#ily sanji thank you for being one of my favorite characters ever đđđ#hmm i'm gonna tag this as sanji week bc i used some prompts as inspiration lol#also do guys like individual posts with individual drawings ? or batches like this one are ok ??? bc i can post these individually ?#one piece#sanji#sanji week#blackleg sanji#black leg sanji#one piece sanji#sanji one piece#my drawings#sanji op#one piece fanart#i guess that otoko is here too lol#otoko#toko#diamondsheep art#my art#aww i just sentimental about this fool and bc i drew him in basically all his life stages ? đđâš
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beneath the waters
didnt plan on posting the speedpaint too but it took up like 500 additional mb so it would just be a waste to not do it lol
#hai..sorry for dissappearing again managing 2 social medias at the same time is a bit too much for me sometimes#i missed you all a lot hi oomfs hi mooties ily all ^_^^_^#tried painting greyscale for the first time it was fun i liked it^_^ might try again later#prsk fa#niigo#nightcord#nightcord at 25:00#pjsk fa#yoisaki kanade#asahina mafuyu#akiyama mizuki#shinonome ena#ill try to stay relatively active but please dont put any expectations on me ok im trying my best#honestly even maintaining just one social media is draining too#im never really that active on my twitter main anymore i mostly just stick to my privs now#also twitter just generally sucks now lol...........#my art#wanted to add the hatsune miku tag but figured that would just be a nuisance for the people looking for fanart for her bday..sorry miku...#happy bday miku btw. yayyyyyy^_^^^_^_^_^_^#project sekai#project sekai fanart
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Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 177
warnings: nsfw moment, stalking, mentions of blood hmh masterlist
Since John has some things to get done today, you and Ronan are having a girls' day. He kissed you both goodbye after breakfast, then he left for the day. You took Ronan to the toy store so she could pick something out before you took her with you to the store to pick up some stuff for dinner. She played with her new toy the entire time and said hi and waved at every person who walked past. Itâs her thing right now, and itâs probably the cutest thing ever.
After a trip to the grocery store, you ran a few more errands as quickly as possible since you didnât want her to grow fussy, then you headed back home. It is a pretty warm day, so you definitely want to spend it outside. Ronan has some toys to play with and you have a book youâve been dying to read since you brought it home from the shop a week ago.
When you pull into the driveway, a smile immediately spreads on your face. John is back and heâs standing by his car talking with Jimmy. Youâre sure he just forgot something, so you pull around his car so you donât block him in the driveway, and when Ronan sees her favorite guy, she screams with excitement. Sheâll never tire of seeing him, and thatâs also pretty fucking cute.
âDaddy!â she yells from the backseat, and you roll down her window and laugh when John rushes over.
âHi, bug.â he leans in and kisses her cheek, âDid you get a new toy?â
From the rearview mirror, you see Ronan hold it up to show her daddy, and she smiles when John gasps and asks her questions about it. Jimmy even comes over to check it out too. John moves aside so Jimmy can talk to Ronan, and he opens your door and smiles at you.
âHi, baby.â
âHi,â you give him a small bashful wave that makes him laugh, and he reaches out to help you from the car so he can hug you. âWhat are you doing home?â
John gives you a quick kiss before gesturing to the house, âForgot something I needed, then I stopped to talk to Jimmy.â
âOh, so you still have things to do?â you ask, and he nods his head and smiles when you frown. âOkay. Well, I already did all my errands for the day, so hurry up.â
âIâm letting you two have a girls' day.â
You nod, âWeâre having one! I bought some nail polish for her. I found this kind that is strictly made for children, so itâs non-toxic, vegan, cruelty-free, and all kinds of other stuff, and Iâm totally losing you because your eyes have glazed over and youâre just nodding your head.â
John starts to smile, âI was listening.â
âThen what did I say?â you put your hands on your hips as he stares at you with a stupid grin on his face. âExactly.â
âYou said it was safe for Ronan to use.â he takes your hands off your hips and wraps them around his waist, pulling you close, âI just have a few more things to do, then Iâll be home.â
You look down when you feel Ronan tugging on your shorts, âOkay, well, weâre having a girls' day and weâre going to paint our nails with non-toxic, vegan, and cruelty-free nail polish.â
âYeah, I was listening,â he teases, and you roll your eyes before leaning up to kiss him. âSay goodbye to daddy, Ro.â
Ronan hugs tight to Johnâs leg, then reaches up for a hug. He lifts her into his arms and hugs her, then he kisses her plump cheek before putting her down and kissing you again. You wave bye to Jimmy as he heads down the driveway after saying his goodbyes, then you hold Ronan and wave as John backs out.
âBye, daddy!â Ronan yells, and you laugh as you look over at her. John taps the horn a few times, and she giggles loudly.
You blow a kiss to John and wave at him, then you take Ronan into the house to paint your nails.
__
Itâs super warm this afternoon, so you and Ronan got settled on a blanket under the tree in the yard. Sheâs running around with Bleu and Sadie while you watch her, and you laugh when she trips and tumbles to the ground. Youâre only laughing because she immediately gets up and keeps running around as the dogs chase her, giggling non-stop.
One day, she fell, and John immediately made a huge deal about it, which, yeah, is completely understandable, but because his reaction was so intense, so was hers. She sobbed. She didnât even hurt herself. She just tripped over her feet. John took her into his arms and cuddled her until she felt better, then later she did it again (Sheâs a toddler, what do you expect?), and you playfully gasped and said "Uh oh!â and had a much more laidback reaction. She didnât cry. She just got up and said âI okay,â before running off to play. You told John that if his reaction is intense, sheâs going to feed off that.
Itâs like those videos where the parents use their hand to hit the door, then they say âOh no, are you okay?â to the baby, who then starts crying. They didnât even get hurt. Theyâre just basing their reaction on yours.
Ronan is a Wick through and through, though. That girl will fall seven times and get back up eight. She is so Johnâs daughter.
You tilt your head back and close your eyes when a light breeze blows past, but you look down when you feel something hit your arm. You furrow your brow and pick up the candy wrapper, then you look around the yard.
Usually, you donât get much litter in the yard. Mill Neck is very adamant about picking up any and all trash left around. Youâve never even seen a cigarette butt on the sidewalk before. They constantly patrol the neighborhood and the lake behind your house and are always picking up trash.
When another wrapper blows past, you quickly sit up and grab it before standing up and scanning the yard. Maybe a raccoon got into the garbage last night. You walk over to the garbage can to investigate with Ronan and the dogs right on your heels. Sheâs found a stick that sheâs now waving around, so both dogs run off and finally plop down in the yard for some rest. You sure wouldnât want to be in the way of her and that giant stick.
âCareful, Ro.â you say as you walk around the side of the house, âUh oh, not near the windows.â
Ronan looks up at you with her big brown eyes--she is so Johnâs twin--then she nods her head and takes a few steps away before waving it around some more, knocking it against a flower pot and a patio chair. You make your way to the back of the house and keep looking around for any wrappers while Ronan gasps and finds more sticks to play with, you assume.
âWhat the hell?â you whisper to yourself when you find another wrapper for an energy bar.
âMomma!â Ronan calls out, and you turn around to see her walking over with a plastic bag in one hand and a clear water bottle that is definitely holding something that is not water.
âPut that down! Now!â you yell loudly and completely on impulse, and Ronan drops it and immediately starts to cry. You didnât think about how your tone would absolutely scare her. You quickly rush over and grab her hands since she always sucks her thumb when sheâs tired or sad, and you rush her into the house while she cries. âIâm so sorry, baby.â
You take her into the bathroom and immediately put some soap on her hands, scrubbing them vigorously and lathering the soap up nicely before rinsing it away. Sheâs still crying, but youâll console her in a minute.
After drying her hands, you walk out to the living room and set her in your lap as you sit on the couch. You move her wispy brown hair from her eyes and press a kiss to her forehead. Her thumb immediately goes into her mouth. Thank god you washed her hands.
âI am so sorry that I yelled, baby.â you whisper against her warm forehead, âWhat you were holding was icky, and I didnât want you to get dirty. Iâm sorry. I love you.â
Ronan nuzzles into the crook of your neck and tries to say she loves you back. You give her a big kiss, then you hold her tight in your arms, rocking her gently. Itâs almost nap time for her anyway. It doesnât take long for her to fall asleep, so you carry her up to her room and let her rest for a bit before wandering back outside to check everything out--this time with gloves and a pair of tongs.
You pick up the bottle Ronan had and inspect it. Definitely pee. You search the bag and find more energy bars, protein bars, and an energy drink. Thereâs a receipt too, and itâs dated for just a few days ago. You try to recall if any work was done on the house around that time, but no one has been here.
From the corner of your eye, you spot a wrapper catching the sunlight, so you walk over and find a few more behind a bush, along with a matted-up blanket. Itâs definitely time to call John.
You peel off the gloves and toss them on the ground next to the other wrappers, then you grab your phone, cradling it between your ear and shoulder as you walk back into the house for another pair of gloves and a garbage bag.
âHey,â John answers after the third ring, âCan I call you right back?â
âUh, yeah, thatâs fine. No biggie. Just call me back when you can.â you say, then you hang up with John. You bring the garbage bag outside and snap a quick picture of what youâve found, then you send it to John with no context. Heâll want to see a picture of it anyway when you talk to him.
After gathering everything in the garbage bag, you sit down on the side patio and wait for John to call you back. He does after about 5 minutes.
âWhat the hell was that picture you just sent me?â
âHave we had anyone over in the past week working on the house?â
John is quiet while he thinks, âNo. Last time someone came out was for the pool. Why?â
âWell, I justâŠfound that stuff in the bush behind the house.â
âWhat?â
You shrug, âYeah, I found some empty wrappers blowing through the yard, so I went to look around, thinking it was a raccoon or something. Ronan found a bottle of something that is definitely not water.â
âPeach, when I asked if I could call you back, you should have said no because it was important. I would have dropped what I was doing.â
âItâs okay. You donât have to drop everything for me.â
John scoffs, âItâs not okay, and yes, I do. Iâm down the street right now.â
You smile as you get up and walk over to the driveway just as John pulls in. You hang up the phone and stuff it into your pocket, then you shrug when John looks at you.
John immediately gets out and rushes to you, âAre you okay?â
You nod as he looks you over, âYeah, Iâm fine.â
âWhere is everything?â he asks, and you point over your shoulder. He takes your hand and drags you with him, âDonât ever say this is nothing, mouse. This is important.â
âI felt like maybe it was nothing. Maybe it is nothing.â You hope anyway. âMaybe itâs Loganâs stuff from when he stayed out here once before he moved in.â
That doesnât make sense though. The receipt was from a few days ago, and Logan has been staying at the house for a while now.
âLogan has been here for months. It canât be from him.â John takes a deep breath and kneels down to look at everything, âYou have gloves or something?â
You hand John the tongs. He looks up at you and laughs before taking them.
âWeâll need a new pair,â John says, shaking his head, âDefinitely not flipping burgers with this anytime soon.â
Taking a deep breath, you kneel down next to him, âWhat do you think?â
âI thinkâŠâ he takes a moment and looks at everything before looking at you, âI think someone has been staying in our backyard.â
âStaying?â
John clenches his jaw, âOr worse.â
You swallow hard and nod your head, nervousness and uncertainty settling into your gut, âLikeâŠwatching us?â
The thought makes you absolutely sick. Not only could someone be watching you, they could be watching Ronan. Itâs a huge violation of privacy. And creepy. So fucking creepy.
âI gotta call Jimmy,â John says as he stands up. He reaches for your hand and helps you up, âMake sure every window and door is locked.â
âI will,â you look up at him and nod, and he quickly leans down to kiss you. âI love you.â
John is sensing that youâre scared, so he smiles softly as he cups your face, âI love you too. Now go inside.â
You hold his gaze as you tear up and watch his demeanor change from the soft, caring man you married to the cold, ruthless Baba Yaga. He immediately cracks when he sees a tear slide down your cheek.
âIâm going to protect you,â he whispers against your temple as you cry, âIâm going to protect you and Ronan both. Please go inside. I need to know youâre locked inside and that youâre safe.â
âWhat about you?â
John lets out a small laugh, âIâll be fine. Iâll keep my phone and my keys on me at all times. Set the security system too.â
âOkay,â your chin wobbles as you look down and close your eyes, then you look up at him, âFind whoever this is.â
âTrust me,â John looks into your eyes intensely, âI plan on it.â
You watch John as he walks away, but he abruptly turns around and rushes back to you, reaching for you. He takes your face in his hands and presses a deep and desperate kiss to your lips, then several soft ones, before resting his forehead against yours for a moment.
âIâll always protect you, Y/N.â he whispers, tears rolling down your cheeks when you look at him. Using his thumb, he wipes them away and kisses your forehead. âGet inside and lock that door.â
__
Unfortunately thereâs been no news the past two days. Thatâs a good thing and a bad thing. Thereâs been no signs of anyone coming into the backyard since John put up some security cameras. When you went to bed last night, he was looking at the security cameras, and he was still looking at them when you woke up this morning.
As soon as you realized that someone was staying in the backyard, you packed a big bag for Ronan and took her to your parents' house. They understood and even offered their guest bedroom to you and John. He jumped on the opportunity, but only if it was for you to stay there, not him. Youâre not going anywhere if he isnât with. Ronan is safe with your parents, but youâre not leaving Johnâs side.
Logan was made aware of what was going on too, and you and John felt it would be best if he wasnât at the house either, so heâs staying with Jimmy and Tess. He wanted to be a little closer so he could get his things for work, plus he gets along really well with Jimmy.
The living room is too open for Johnâs comfort, so heâs been making you stay in your bedroom. At night, you can close the curtains and lock the door to the balcony and know that no one can see in, but you canât do the same in the living room.
âI canât do this.â you say as you turn around to look at John, âI canât justâŠlive my life in our bedroom. I miss our daughter. I miss our living room. I miss going outside.â
John sits up straight and nods, âI know. Itâs not forever.â
âWell, Iâm about to rage.â you say, and John smiles a little. âIâm not kidding. Iâm about to go in the yard and scream at the top of my lungs. Why does this person get to have this control over us?â
âBecause we donât know why theyâre out there watching.â
You pout with your whole body and flop face down onto the bed. John lightly scratches your back and smiles when you look at him, and he sets aside the laptop and opens his arms to hold you. After you get into his arms, he reaches for it again and sets it in his lap.
âThis is all youâve been doing for 24 hours,â you whisper, looking at the different views around your yard, âArenât you bored?â
âYes and no.â he says, and you look up at him, âYes, because not much is happening, but also no, because Jimmy was taking Sadie for a walk and got tangled in her leash and tripped.â
You start to laugh as you look back at the laptop, but the laughter quickly fades, âI just want to know who this person is.â
âMe too.â
Closing your eyes, you nuzzle closer to him, âDo you think theyâll show up again?â
âI hope so,â he whispers, rubbing your side, âIâll be waiting for him when he does.â
__
Shooting up in bed, you look over at John as he quickly rushes out of the bedroom. You get up and follow behind him, calling out, but heâs not waiting for you. He flings the door open and runs into the yard, and you stay in the house for a moment. Itâs pitch black outside; you canât see anything. You rush into the kitchen and get a flashlight, then you step outside and shine it around the yard.
âJohn?â you call out, not stepping foot off the patio, âJohn?â
After waiting for a few minutes, you go back inside and lock the door, still searching in the darkness for him. You hear footsteps coming up to the house, so you wait a moment before you see John. You quickly unlock the door to let him in, then you lock it behind him as he pants.
âDid you see him?â
You shake your head, âNo.â
âHeâŠâ he exhales loudly and stands up, taking the flashlight from you and covering the living room in darkness so no one can see the two of you, âHe was in the backyard. I was falling asleep, and the motion sensor woke me up. He was back.â
âWhat do we do?â
John grabs his phone and calls Jimmy. Despite it being almost two in the morning, Jimmy answers on the third ring.
âHe was back,â John says, reaching for your hand and leading you upstairs. âYeah, I just chased him around the yard. Heâs fast. No, no, sheâs okay. Sheâs right here with me. She didnât stay inside like I told her to, but sheâs okay.â
You shrug bashfully when he looks at you. He made you promise that you wouldnât leave the house when he went outside after dark, but it was on impulse. You couldnât just let him run out there in the dark.
John shuts and locks the bedroom door, âYeah. Iâm gonna keep looking. Hopefully one of the cameras got a good view of him. Yeah, Iâll send it right over if I find something. Sorry for waking you up.â
Since youâre sitting next to John in a silent room, you can hear Jimmy telling John not to apologize and to call if he finds anything else. You smile to yourself. Jimmy really is the best.
John hangs up with Jimmy and looks at you, âI told you to stay in the house.â
âI know you did, but--â
âNo!â he says sternly as he looks at you, âI told you to stay in the house. I donât care what your excuse is.â
You furrow your brow in anger, âYou canât tell me what to do!â
âI donât tell you what to do, Y/N, you know that. Iâm telling you to stay in the house when thereâs a fucking stalker on the loose. Iâm telling you to stay inside so you donât get hurt. I donât know if heâs carrying a gun or a knife with him, and I donât know what his intentions are. You stay in the damn house next time.â he says, and you both stare each other down. He raises his brows, âUnderstand?â
âYes, sir.â you scoff, and he chuckles as he reaches for your hand. You sigh loudly, âSorry.â
John tugs your arm to get you to move closer, âI canât lose you, and you know Iâm not telling you what to do; I never have told you what to do and I never will.â
âI know,â you frown as you look up at him, âI was just scared when you ran outside. I was only out there for a few minutes.â
âNext time itâs zero minutes, okay?â he presses a kiss to your forehead and helps you lie down. âAre you tired?â
You nod as you look up at him, âYeah, but I canât sleep.â
John rests his hand on your hip, âWell, can I distract you?â
âWell, shouldnât you be watching the cameras?â
He takes a deep breath, âI chased him down. He wonât come back tonight, I promise. He knows weâre watching.â
âThen yes, please distract me,â you reach up to cup his face, then you pull him down to your lips as he slips his hand into your underwear and rubs your clit. He slowly slides his middle finger deep inside of you and lets out a small laugh when he feels how wet you are. You roll your eyes, âYeah, yeah, so I think youâre hot when youâre assertive. What about it?â
John smiles softly as he looks down at you, then he pulls the blanket over you both as he moves down between your legs.
__
Tess and Jimmy came over first thing this morning, and the guys went outside to scope everything out while you made breakfast. They came back in and ate, still talking about what they should do next. You finished eating and went to the living room with everyone, and now youâre just sitting around trying to wrap your head around everything.
âSo, we have a stalker.â
Jimmy nods, âSounds like it.â
âWhy would someone want to stalk us?â you ask, and Jimmy shrugs.
Tess shrugs, âPeople stalk for all kinds of reasons. Who knows. It could be something like they like your house orâŠsomeone is stalking John because they saw him at the mall and thought he was hot. People are fucking weird.â
âCould it be Matt?â you ask, and John shakes his head. âAre you sure?â
âItâs not him,â Jimmy chimes in, glancing at John. âI immediately checked with a buddy at the station. Heâs not even in New York anymore. Lives somewhere in southern New Jersey now. We matched the dates from the receipt and he wasnât in New York. As far as I know, he moved shortly after you got married.â
Tess chuckles, âAfter John beat his ass.â
âMaybe itâs your ex.â John says, and you look at him, âWhat was his name? Drake?â
You jerk your head back, âDerek? What? No! And why does it have to be my ex? We ran into him months ago. I havenât even talked to him in forever, not since I ran into him, and he was cool about everything. You even met him! Why would it be him?â
âI donât have anyone who would want to watch me.â
âYouâre John Wick, of course you do!â you say loudly, then you shake your head, âWhat about your crazy ex, Rachel? She applied for a job at our shop and wanted to fuck you! She practically admitted it!â
John shakes his head, âItâs not her, but I donât know about your ex.â
âOh, so youâre blaming me for this?â
John furrows his brow in anger, âIâm not blaming you. Iâm thinking about potential people.â
âWell, youâre really shit at it.â you say as you cross your arms, âWhy does it have to be about me? Why is it my fault that this is happening?â
âHey!â Tess stands between the two of you and puts her hands out, âStop. Why are you two fighting when you should be leaning on each other for support?â
John closes his eyes for a moment before looking over at you, âIâm sorry. I justâŠIâm just trying to think of people.â
âWell, itâs not him.â you say, and John nods. âI can call him to prove it. ThoughâŠnow that I think about it, I donât have his number--because I donât talk to him.â
âI believe you,â John says, and you nod your head. âI believe you, peach.â
Tess grimaces when you look at her, âBut how do you know?â
âI donât.â you admit as you shrug, âI donât know for sure, but I donât think itâs him.â
Why would it even be Derek? You ran into him a while ago at a restaurant and even introduced him to John and Ronan. Itâs not him. Heâs moved on and the break-up was completely amicable, and quite literally years ago. Itâs not him.
You grab your phone from the coffee table and pull up Instagram. You get to his profile and see heâs just recently added to his stories, so you open it. Relief washes over you when you see that heâs not even in the state. Heâs not even in the country.
âHeâs in Costa Rica.â you say, turning your phone to show everyone, âFrom the looks of it, heâs been there for a while. Something for work. Heâs been there nearly two months.â
âThe receipt was from a few days ago,â John says, holding your gaze, âItâs not him.â
You let out a big breath and shake your head slightly, âIâll be right back.â
You just need a moment to yourself, so you head up to your room. You sit down on the bed and put your head in your hands, then you rub your tired eyes. Youâve barely gotten any sleep.
âIâm not blaming you, peach,â John says from behind you, and you look over your shoulder as he walks over in the dark room. The curtains have been completely shut all day. He sits down next to you and wraps his arm around your waist, âIâm sorry that it came across like I was accusing you. This isnât your fault. I donât want you to think that at all.â
âIt wouldnât be him. He wouldnât do that.â
John nods, âMaybe I just accused him for personal reasons.â
You furrow your brow when you look at him, but you nod when you see the guilty look on his face and his big puppy-dog eyes.
âI donât want to be with him, John.â you say as you turn to face him, âI havenât for years. I just want to be with you.â
âI know,â he nods, sighing loudly, âI know that. I just remember how he looked at you that night that you ran into him, andâŠIâm just being jealous.â
You smile as you reach over to cup his face, âYou donât have to be jealous of anyone ever. You know how much I want you. You know how much I love you, so please donât be jealous of someone from my past.â
John looks at you and starts to smile since every now and then you get a little jealous about his relationship with Helen. Hey, youâre human, okay?
âIâll do the same,â you say as he leans over to kiss your cheek. You smile softly at him before it fades and you begin to worry again, âAre we sure itâs not Matt?â
âItâs not,â John shakes his head. âAs soon as we found the stuff in the yard, I asked Jimmy to look into it. Itâs not him. Selfishly hoped it was, so I could beat the shit out of him again, but itâs not him. I donât know who it could be, but if Iâm honest, itâsâŠitâs probably someone from my past, not yours.â
You shake your head, âWe donât know that, John. We canât jump to conclusions here. All we know is that someone has been staying in the backyard. We donât know anything else.â
âWhether itâs someone watching us or staying in the backyard, we keep these curtains closed at all times. No more sitting in the living room either.â
âSo,â you pause for dramatic effect, âWe justâŠdonât live a life then?â
John sighs, âFor now.â
You get up from the bed and exhale loudly, âOkay.â
John stands up and reaches for your hand when you walk past, and he pulls you into his arms and holds you, resting his forehead against yours. He tips your chin up and kisses you softly, leaving his lips there for a few moments before kissing you deeper. He slips his tongue into your mouth as he slides his hand down to your ass, then he grips it and cups your face in his other hand.
You get a little worked up from kissing him, so you pant as you lean back to look into his eyes, âDonât leave me. I donât want to be alone.â
âIâm not going anywhere.â he whispers, and you close your eyes, âRonan is safe with your parents--Dan assured me of that. But I donât want you leaving my side.â
Closing your eyes, you lean against his chest for a few moments, listening to his heart pounding. He wraps his arms around you tightly and holds you, then he rubs your back and nods his head toward the doorway, so you head back downstairs.
âYou know, I was thinkingâŠâ Tess turns around and gestures to the floor to ceiling glass walls, âYou might wanna get rid of this.â
âWe are,â John says, and you scoff and look back at him.
You roll your eyes, âWeâre not. Iâm not changing my house because someone is being a freak and spying on us. Weâre not getting rid of it. Sure, weâll get some curtains, but the glass walls stay. Weâre not ruining the aesthetic of this house.â
âFuck the aesthetic,â Tess says, and you look at her.
âNo. Iâm not changing my house because of some person. You canât even see our living room unless youâre standing in our driveway. The walls stay.â you say firmly as you look at them all, âIâm not changing my life for someone who is violating my privacy. End of discussion.â
Tess puffs out her cheeks and lets out air as she looks at John, âA spitfire, that one.â
âI know,â John smiles as he looks at you, âI love it.â
__
John has been patrolling the yard for the past two nights before bed. He goes out there and stays out until heâs searched every inch of the lawn. He checks the bushes, behind the garbage cans, and the dock on the lake. He checks the backyard nearly five times before you finally call him inside. He comes inside very reluctantly. You both make sure the house is completely locked up, the security system is set, and there are no lights left on inside before you head up to your room for the night and lock yourselves in.
âShould we get a gate at the end of the driveway?â
You look over at him as you both brush your teeth. You quickly spit out the toothpaste and put your toothbrush away before turning to him while he finishes up.
âNo,â you shake your head when he looks at you, âI donât want us to cut ourselves off from people here. Tess comes over too, so what am I supposed to do every time she wants to come over? Tell her that she needs to wait for me to open a fucking gate for her? Or tell her that Iâll meet her down there? Iâm not locking us away. Plus Bleu and Sadie run from Tessâ house to ours.â
âI know, but--â
You take a deep breath, âI get it. Youâre trying to protect us and I love that, but I donât want to lock myself away because someone is watching us. I want to know who it is so we can lock them away.â
âAnd Iâm going to find them,â he says, and you nod your head, âThey have violated our privacy. Theyâve made you feel unsafe in our home. I will find them.â
âI know you will.â you place your hand on his chest as you look up at him, âI believe you.â
John sighs as he looks at you. Heâs been beating himself up over this. He canât catch this person who is making you feel unsafe, and he feels like heâs failing.
âDo you still feel safe with me?â
âOf course I do,â you wrap your arms around his neck, âWhy do you think Iâve been stuck to your side?â
John closes his eyes, âI canât catch him though.â
âBut you will.â you reach up and tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, âI know you will, John. Weâll catch him.â
Holding tight to one another, you stand on your tiptoes and bury your face in the crook of his neck, finding safety and comfort in his arms. You try to keep yourself from yawning, but you canât, so you lean back and yawn as John laughs.
âLetâs go to bed.â he whispers, and you smile softly.
He wonât sleep a wink tonight, knowing that thereâs someone out there, but at least heâll be by your side.
__
Since Ronan has been with your parents at night, you and John have been spending the day with her. Youâve taken her to the museum and, of course, the aquarium--you put that season pass to good use, and thankfully she never tires of the place. Youâve been spending all day with her and John, but his mind is still back at the house. Hâes laughing and enjoying the time that youâre all spending together, but his smile will slowly fade as the worries creeps back in. He knows that he canât just sit there all day since whoever is stalking will show up once you arenât there.
Ronan clearly misses you and John since sheâs clinging to your hands as you walk through the aquarium together. Once she gets to her favorite part--the rainforest area--she lets go and runs over to crawl through the tunnel. Her giggle echoes through the tunnel, and you snap a few pictures of her inside as she points at the snake wrapped around the branch.
âI swear if she could get in there and cuddle with it, she would,â John says, and you look up at him, âShe is too sweet.â
You look back at Ronan as she waves at the snake and talks to it, âI want this to be over.â
âWhat?â
âThisâŠstalker shit. I want to be able to bring our daughter home.â you look at her and smile, âShe deserves to be able to come home. She deserves to be able to play in the yard with Bleu and with us.â
John wraps his arm around your shoulder to pull you closer, âAnd you deserve to feel safe.â
âI donât care about me.â
âBut I do,â he says, hugging you close to his side, âAnd Iâll make sure that you both are safe.â
Ronan comes running back over to you, pointing at a colorful bird flying overhead, then she squeals with excitement and takes off running up to the next exhibit that is housing a huge lizard or something. Of course, she crawls into that tunnel as well and smiles when the creature crawls past her. John nudges you and points to the tunnel. You break out in a grin when you look at him, then you quickly crawl inside to join Ronan.
__
Men are screaming loudly in the yard as you shake on the couch, clinging to a pillow. There are cops everywhere, and their blue and red lights are flashing brightly through the window. Thereâs even one parked in the middle of your yard.
Ten minutes ago, you and John were just sitting on the couch watching a movie when you both saw something from the corner of your eye. It was the stalker. He was just standing there, watching you through the window. You saw him but didnât react. You just quietly whispered to John, but he already knew. He had spotted him a few minutes before you mentioned it. He said he wanted to play it cool and see if he could sneak away. Before John could even do that, the stalker banged on the window, and John immediately jumped up to chase after him while you called the cops.
The door opens, and you instantly tense up until you see that itâs Jimmy.
âWhereâs John?â
âI donât know!â you get up and walk to him, âHe ran out.â
Jimmy rubs his hand over his face and looks outside, âWe canât find him or the guy.â
âThere!â someone yells, and you see the stalker running across the lawn with John hot on his trail.
Jimmy puts his arm out to protect you and keep you inside, but you push past him and run onto the patio. You hear the splashing of water as if someone is running along the shore, then a gunshot rings out and causes you to freeze for a moment. Your blood runs cold, and everything is silent for a minute, like the entire world went on mute. But another shot rings out, and you immediately take off running. You hear several more gunshots and duck down when one hits a tree next to you, then you keep running to John.
âWait! No!â Jimmy yells as he chases after you. âDonât look!â
You have to. You have to look. Because you know who was shot. You know it deep down. John didnât have a gun when he ran outside.
As soon as you get closer, you see John. Heâs holding his side. You run up to him and immediately press your hand over his, searching his eyes.
âIâm okay.â he says, nodding his head as he pants, âIâm okay.â
âNo, no, no!â you cry as you help him sit down. You move his hair from his face before looking up, âHelp!â
John coughs a little and reaches up to touch your face, âPeach, Iâm fine.â
âYouâre not fine,â you cry as you lift his shirt to look at his side covered in blood, âOh, my god! Help!â
Jimmy slides up next to you and immediately applies pressure to Johnâs side. He yells out something to another cop, but you canât hear what it was over your cries.
âPlease donât leave me,â you whisper to John as you lean closer, âJohnâŠâ
John opens his eyes, âIâm okay. Just a graze. Did they catch him?â
You look over your shoulder to see two cops wrestling someone down onto the ground, and you catch a glimpse of the stalker before you look back at John, who is trying to keep his eyes open.
âMrs. Wick,â an EMT kneels down next to you and looks at your hands that are covered in Johnâs blood. She smiles softly at you, âLetâs get up so we can get him into an ambulance, okay?â
âI donât--â you reach for his arm and cling to it, âI donât want to leave him!â
She smiles sincerely, âYou can stay by his side the entire time, I swear.â
âIâm fine!â John says as he tries to get up, but Jimmy pushes him back down. âGet off! I need to find him!â
âThey got him, man. Heâs in custody.â Jimmy says, and you lightly rub Johnâs arm to get him to look at you.
You lean down and kiss him, âWe have to get you to the hospital.â
âI donât want to go.â he whispers softly, and you lean closer, âI need to find him.â
âHeâs in custody. Heâs not going anywhere.â you say, rubbing his cheek softly, âBut we need to get you to a hospital.â
John closes his eyes in defeat and nods his head, âFine. I can walk though.â
The EMT smiles when you look at her, âNice try, Mr. Wick. Youâre going on a stretcher.â
Heâll run otherwise. Heâll chase the car down to get to that guy, you know it. It was personal before, but now with the gunshot wound in his side, it really is.
You stand up while they get John onto the stretcher, and you smile when he reaches for your hand. You walk alongside him as they push the stretcher through the yard to the ambulance, then you get in after they put him inside.
âMrs. Wick,â an officer says, and you look over at him. âWeâll need you to come to the station to identify the suspect.â
You shake your head, âIâm not leaving Johnâs side. You hold him there until then.â
âYes, maâam.â he nods before walking off.
To be honest, it felt kind of nice to have all that power just then.
You look back at John and smile softly when you see him looking at you, âWeâre gonna get this all fixed.â
âDonât cry,â he whispers as he reaches up to cup your face, âIâm okay.â
Immediately, you start crying harder as you lean down and rest your forehead against his. He wraps his hand around your arm and squeezes lightly as the ambulance pulls onto the street and turns on the lights and sirens. The EMTs in the back are getting something set up for John while you sit back and hold tight to his hand. Heâs still trying so hard to keep his eyes open.
âPeach,â he says with his eyes shut, and you lean forward until youâre closer to him, âI love you.â
You smile and let out a small laugh, âI love you too, but youâre scaring me. Donât start saying goodbye.â
âIâm fine. Iâve been through worse,â he laughs with his eyes closed. He hums when you rub your thumb over his cheek, âStay with me though, okay? Iâll protect you.â
âI know,â you smile, resting your head on his chest, âIâm staying right here.â
__
taglist:
@spiderfangirl22 @im--blushing @ruby-octo @sunnythebunny7 @livetosing21 @lilithlinen @ladyren33 @multifandombliss @tnu-ree @scream-queen-25 @beingnerdyissupercool @sakurachan-9
#john wick x reader#john wick x you#john wick imagine#john wick x y/n#fic: hold my hand#the tagging system truly will be the death of me#anywayyyyy i hope you all enjoy#and if you choose not to read i understand!#i thought i'd switch some stuff up and get crazy lol#this is just part one and part two is...so good#ily all#ok bye
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Something something S4 shows through Nancy how someone can be pressured into a relationship by well meaning people, how easy it is to project your significant other onto someone familiar when they're gone, something something Nancy only started giving Steve eyes during situations he reminded her of key moments in her relationship with Jonathan, how you could see all over her face that she was going to reject him, how the audiences emotions are lined up with Steve and not her and the fact that Steve wants a girlfriend so badly means the audience wants him to have a girlfriend too bc he deserves it ! He's grown so he can do better this time ! She CAN love him ! Look ! The people who just officially met them this week think they're true love ! But Nancy is in love with Jonathan. But Steve wants a white picket fence life at the end of a cul-de-sac with 6 children, which Nancy said herself is like her worst nightmare. But Steve was never the problem in their relationship. Nancy didn't love him. Nancy is not a prize. He doesn't deserve her for changing. And the people trying to matchmake them DO NOT KNOW BOTH PARTIES WELL. Robin JUST officially started talking to Nancy, all she really has to go off of is whatever Steve has told her and EDDIE met BOTH OF THEM officially like three days ago. All he knows is their reputations really, and that "act of true love" was entirely typical of Nancy's character and she would've done it for just about anyone she cares about, he doesn't know that though because he doesn't know her. And she ended the season in her bf's arms setting up their conflict in s5 while Steve ended the season alone but with his friends.
#ok draft go off#im actually reluctant to post this just bc now I'll only have 68 drafts#this post is about byler. plot twist !#i fear i have no more words. this doesnt usually happen to me#i am SO tired tho so cut me some slack i swear the next time i randomly post smthn the tags will go crazy đ€ campers honor#stranger things#byler#jancy#nancy wheeler#jonathan byers#steve harrington#will byers#mike wheeler#âïžđ pls#ok its the next day and i can think again. this post is abt byler. djbsbd#in the sense that mike was pressured into a relationship by well meaning people who thought they liked each other-#and el was so similar to will that it was easy to project him onto her and when he thought she was gone his relationship w will developed#and when SHE came back he started to recreate what he had with will with her to make it easier to be w her in general#and as she is becoming her own person with her own wants and needs- their relationship suffers for it#also 'you could see it all over their faces' ily speech and he ended the season with will setting up their plot in s5#and el ended it alone (with her family)
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ok soooo im like 5 episodes into dear brother and i need you guys to know how much i love rei so far if only for her staggering around like a rain-soaked stray dog just haggard and unseeing all the time. like we know very little about her thus far except that every scene she's in she steals the show by flopping and wilting all over the frame
#just like me fr perhaps#dear brother#oniisama e#idk what it is but shes so intriguing. mysterious shit-untogether lady#also i love everyone's beef so far like im completely hooked on the drama as camp as it usually is#like went OHH SHIT the second i found out the big three were on bad terms like ouhhh theyre fightinggg#and minako is profoundly real. the video essay that convinced me to watch this mentioned her encapsulation of quote#'every bpd feeling ive ever had' and as an outsider that seems right#school full of girls to study under a magnifying glass like bugs. girlbugs#this is an era of shojo im not very familiar with (ok ig all eras are like that but my knowledge of 70s shojo is like.#ok rose of vsailles over here and that tennis thing's over there and uh. yeah thats it)#and yeah ik the anime's from the 90s but it appears. to me. pretty married to more 70s aesthetics at least#ANYWAY kaoru ily we need a butch failgirl to shout these girls into line and shes balling too btw no way#and minako ily you're extremely real and a scene stealer and i need you to beat more girls up#nanoko im leering over your shoulder like a little shoulder devil bc i want you to be worse and im suspecting you're getting there#oh i forgot to say this part but i keep comparing it to utena#no one ive seen brings up db in their utena analyses as an influence so i have to wonder if 1) this is just more obscure#(if only for the western video essayists im watching) or 2) they share other common ancestry im not familiar with#once again i gotta watch rose of vrsailles for brserk reasons but also now bc of this#she's important she's influential etc etc#anyway yeah excited to get back to the mentally ill girl variety hour âïžâïž#asuka rei#<- I FORGOT TO TAG IT WITH HER đ«đ«đ«
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Merry Christmas everyone!!!
I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for being the most amazing friends!! I havenât talked to a lot of you in a while since Iâve barely been on tumblr at all, but that doesnât mean I donât love you! May God bless you all :)
@akchimp75 @kiwi-der-vogel-alt @unclemoriarty @margindoodles2407 @ginjusttalkaboutnothing @almost-an-artist @taddy-cat @phoenix-arts7 @bluevaractyl @cal-the-duende @uniquevoidflowers @luciennelune @cheerfullycatholic @endlessartpumpkin @jullbnt @mrmedimedes @kommandantpinks @onceuponaladye @star-ocean-peahen @snowiwyvern @cextra-loz @candy8448 @adrift-in-thyme @prince-of-red-lions @marsnoodlesoup @grenapple0547 @isasan347 @sparkledragon04 @anime-obsessed @yeriah
have this picture my dad took early Christmas morning!! (at like 1 am XD)
Also here is my church, all lit up with candles for Christmas Mass :D
FinallyâŠ.
Hehehe
#Evie rambles#throwing love at all of you like Christmas ornaments#If any of them break thatâs ok you can just share the pieces around and spread the love even more#Andnndnajdjsjjsjsj#All of you#ALL OF YOU#YOUâRE AMAZING#Some of you Iâve actually barely talked to at all#But that changes nothing đđ#Ily guysss#ALSO#if you tagged me in something i WILL get to it#Iâve been pretty busy getting ready for the holidays#But life will be slowing down again soon :D
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ari iâm curious do u have kenny hcs
RIKO U HAVE NO IDEA THE MONSTER UVE UNLEASHED.....
i do have some kenny hcs <333 take a seat here's a snack weâre gonna be here for a while đ§đ§ (THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME <3 this man genuinely makes me feel ill im sooo delusional abt him)
okok so first of all; general hcs !!
he likes art!! loves art!! this one is canon to me i just think he is so interested in any and all of humanityâs creative outlets and ofc art is the most prominent one. he loves all different forms of art â from sculptures to paintings to writing to video games (HEAVY on the latter btw i think he's so entranced by new technology) and so on.
and on that note!! i think he paints and writes himself :3 hes been alive for so long, learned so many languages, there's no way he didn't have time to pick up a paint brush. i think he paints to release stress!! and his styles vary but there's something mildly macabre abt all of his pieces. tends to gravitate towards expressionism above all else, especially the abstract kind.
i also feel like he sincerely enjoys âbadâ art like low budget movies and modern romance fiction and goofy video gamesâŠâŠ he just thinks they're fun. def gets a good laugh out of them (this man canonically had a whole comedy phase he just wants to have fun!!)
and and and!! this is self indulgent as hell but i also think he cooks. there's just so much to learn when it comes to different cultures and their cuisine and i think they all interest him. but i hesitate to say that he's a good cook bc i feel like heâd make really weird fucked up food combinations just for the hell of itâŠ. he's a freak. 100% the type to mix orange juice w black coffee just to see how it tastes.
i also hc that he has a soft spot for children, seeing as he literally carried and birthed one of his own LMAO... i just think he admires the innocence of childhood !! that childish and simple hope that adults tend to lose. he's very good w them too!! gentle and patient. and in getoâs body he has the softest nicest voice so i feel like kids gravitate towards him (i'm just thinking abt that One scene where he blows bubbles at a playground and all the kids chase them⊠they love him i just know he's a regular at that park)
OH ANDâŠâŠ. idk if iâd call this a hc exactly but i just wanna see kenny in more feminine clothing. he literally has All the genders i don't think for a second that he cares abt gender norms. one moment he's in that tacky middle aged divorced father core hawaiian tshirt (he's so Me), the next he's wearing a purple floral dress or a puffy turtleneck <33 i just think he could pull anything off.
NOW FOR THE GOOD STUFFâŠâŠ. relationship hcs <33333 hes a whole red flag but hes also my silly pookie bear just trust me on this
FIRST OF ALL he's huge on quality time. if he's in a relationship w u then that means he sincerely enjoys ur company and therefore has a tendency to just bring u with him wherever he goes. otherwise he gets bored and starts whining abt it (silly silly man) hes a lonely guy ok </3 i feel like he gets very sudden urges to explore new places / do new things and heâll make sure youâre right there w him !! youâll wake up in his arms only to find you're in a snowy forest or some shit and he just WILL not tell u where he's taken u bc its âa surprise ^_^â LMAOO
he also takes on a teaching role in the relationship and i think that's where hes happiest !! gets a kick out of it but it's also kind of special to him. especially if you haven't seen much of the world, or if you're just a naturally curious person â preferably both. he just enjoys teaching you new things, leading you towards new sights, drinking in your expressions and reactions. it's precious to him. something to cherish.
ON THAT NOTE i think he has this unquenchable curiosity that gets temporarily sated when he tries to like . Dissect you. see inside your mind. it's like hes solving a puzzle that never runs out of pieces. hear me out riko but i see him as somewhat similar to makima, he's detached and has trouble connecting w people and handles you almost like a math equationâŠ.. but since he unlike makima is a human being, i think he still has the capacity to grow to care for you and treat you like an equal (or something close to an equal). he genuinely does love you, but he's rusty. kenjaku just wants to know all there is to know about you â every single thing. heâd dig into your brain if he could, but heâll settle on just brewing you tea, listening to you speak about your fears, hoping itâll give him the same insight.
he's a little possessive . kind of a Lot. idk i just think he feels a pang of jealousy when he sees u laugh and have fun w someone else (he's like a preschooler getting pouty bc his bestie is playing w someone else LOL) and that makes him Uncomfortable so he just waltzes in and steals u away w a smooth smile and a hand on ur waist. pretends like it doesn't bother him in the slightest but if u tease him too much he drops the smile and gives u a Look (it's scary as hell so u immediately shut up LMAOO) and god forbid someone else is like⊠teaching u something⊠a subject they're knowledgeable abt while u sit there listening happily to their ramblingâŠâŠ..... ohhh he gets so jealous it's funny. researches that particular subject in frightening detail JUST so he can correct your little friend and teach u abt it himself <33 weirdo. freak.
also (this is extremely important to understanding kenny's character) he's both mother coded and father coded but in the worst possible ways.
he's mother coded in the sense that he's a smidge controlling, good at coaxing you into doing things outside your comfort zone, an expert at making you feel guilty by acting especially sweet and gentle, has the ability to make you cry w one disappointed look etc etc
and he's father coded in the sense that he's easily offended but pretends not to be, wants to see you succeed so bad that it's almost more for him than you, forces you to have really deep onesided philosophical talks at 2am when you just want to sleep, sucks at voicing his love for you out loud so he just buys a bag of your favorite fruit, cuts them into slices and calls it a day. etc etc. he's awful actually. i need him
but !!! as for more soft hcs i think he's honestly an affectionate guy deep down⊠like deep deep down but it's there. he just likes having u close. preferably touching him. not constantly bc thatâll annoy him but he wants you to stay near so he can pull u into his lap whenever. loves reading to u while u rest ur head on his thigh, playing w ur hair and lulling u softly to sleep <3333 (it's the geto kinnie in him) AND idk why this came into my mind but i think he likes nose kisses. just bc ur face scrunches up and he thinks it's cute. he can be sweet !! probably.
OHHH AND he loves playing board games w u <33 everything from chess to monopoly. he thinks it's fun + a good bonding activity but it's only fun in the beginning. he's condescending if u lose and petty if u win but heâll still ask u to stay up w him all night just so u can finish the game (he's insufferable actually) if u decline heâll huff and play by himself while shooting u petty glares until u feel bad and join him. then he's back to being all suave and calm and mature ohhhh i hate him
he wants to be the mature stoic indulgent person in the relationship sooooo fucking bad but heâs plagued by silly impulses day and night. heâs just good at hiding it. but deep down he is and always will be a silly nerd <33
and finally; i think that in a no curses au he's significantly less of a freak but still weird and obsessive and a lil mean. bullies u just a tinyyy bit and acts condescendingly sweet but he cares for u a whole bunch. probably struggles w showing it in a way that isn't too overbearing or mildly alarming⊠maybe through writing. poems and paintings of u⊠sculpturesâŠ. just wants to portray the beauty he sees in u (can u tell artist!kenny makes me go a little crazy)
overall hes a weirdo hes a freak (def wants u to kiss his brain just to see how it feels) and he may or may not be a bundle of red flags but i love him dearly <333 hes a silly goose. i want to study him in a lab
#ive been thinking abt this for a while riko ty for indulging me <333 PLSSS IF U HAVE ANY AKI HCS GIVE THEM TO ME đđđ#these hcs make it glaringly obvious how down bad i am for him i think but just pretend that i like him in a normal way ok#kenny is just so sillyyyy he was crafted specifically to fix my parental issues (he would make them worse)#kenjaku x reader#<- tagging this in case some starving kenny stan stumbles upon it. enjoy ur food beloved <33#i have a sudden urge to write an artist!kenny x reader fic hmmm wonder what thats all abt (riko u just made the brainrot worse ily <333)#ask tag â©
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Hello praying people, I'm not doing well and would really appreciate your prayers right now <3
#long very boring and unnecessarily detailed tag monologue incomingâ feel free to skip:#this is going to sound like a silly thing to be hitting rock bottom over#but iâm fairly certain i have a semi-rare skin condition known as sensitive skin syndrome#which is basically where skin gets progressively more sensitive#until it wonât tolerate the topical application of anything at all without getting irritated#usually it happens to people on the skin of their face and i have it there but i also specifically have it on my lips#(which apparently is extremely not normal; i found a dermatologistâs case study from like 2019 of one woman who had it on her lips#and according to this case study there were no other cases of people having it on their lips#in all the dermatological literature he had read)#i canât follow the protocol which all the journal articles iâve been able to find say is helpful for the rest of the face which is basicall#leave the area the heck alone for at least a year#because if i donât apply anything to my lips for more than two or three days they will get so dry they crack and bleed#so itâs looking like one way or another i may be having to deal with dry burning irritated lips for the rest of my life#and iâm not dealing with the thought of that very well#iâve already suffered so much anguish from extreme sensitivity on the rest of my face#and not being able to take proper care of the skin there#and this is just too much for me#i know God is allowing this for a reason but itâs filling me with so much frustration and panic and despair that i donât know how to go on#but i must and i will#this isnât a serious or a life-threatening condition but itâs looking like a pretty hopeless one and itâs hurting me badly#and i would appreciate prayers that it would just be healed or that i would know what to do#i think i will try going to my dermatologist but somehow i doubt she's even heard of sensitive skin syndrome#on a COMPLETELY unrelated note i'm just about to get my period and also for two days i've ''eaten'' nothing but vegetable smoothies#and those in pretty small amounts because they're disgusting#(do a detox my hormonal health doctor said)#(it'll be fun she said)#ok if you read this far you're so brave braver than any u.s. marine etc.#thanks for reading ily <3
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does whatever the hell is up there enjoy my suffering?
#im sorry guys#I have these episodes where I can't breathe as if there's something blocking me in the chest area? it mainly happens at night when I try-#-to breathe lol#and idk life's been shitty#not been getting the best grades#I mean if I tell them people would be like âTHAT'S GOOD YOU'RE DOING AMAZINGâ but it really isn't#and I have so many tasks it's all just so overwhelming#not to mention I have tests every other week because I'm in the shittiest school that is the equivalent to Dante's idea of hell#like it's torture#idk y'all#anix seriously knows nothing#not to mention sometimes when I smell something weird I remember all my surgeries and then I feel like I can't breathe#so life's been eh#not to mention I can't open up to my therapist lol#so Tumblr is my form of venting#moots ily but don't worry I'll be ok#also I can't focus when it comes to studying#and I get stressed easily#and I am gonna keep my tags so I can remember to tell my therapist all of this
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I have to pry myself off the computer for real but tomorrow will someone please talk to me about Love Between Fairy & Devil now that I've finally watched it a year after the rest of the internet, and how Fairy Danyin is the best character, and Danyin/Changheng is the most lesbian (and/or gnc)/gay solidarity ship ever, and I am so stunned that they textually ended with Danyin admitting her original thing for Gods of War is that she wanted to become one herself - i.e. there was some "idk if I want to be him or be with him" to her Changheng pining - and with her demonstratively labeling Changheng her xiongdi???????? They are bros in every lifetime!! And should go on Chidi/Danyin Changheng/Ronghao double dates!!!
Someone please talk about this with me.... tomorrow.
#also was very into the canon ships. i wanted to hold out forever for xiao lanhua/jieli and i still do love them#but FIRSTLY yes ok dongfang qingcang and his cheekbones and his childlike innocence hidden beneath Devil robes compelled me#SECONDLY when shangque started getting jealous of jieli for thinking another man was stupid#and yelled like 'i'm the stupidest one here!!!' or something to prove he was the man of her dreams. he won me over forever.#ronghao committing all the war crimes for 30k years just so he could see his shifu again also compelled me#he makes an A+ sadface#but i was even more compelled by his ambivalent love for changheng#and i just can't get over how much danyin can be shipped with every woman in the story#who would have guessed it when she was first introduced?#SO many terrifically fun things done with her character#ily qu shui#xiao run died for you and the narrative confirmed that love was DEEP BROTHERHOOD#DEEP BROTHERHOOD!!! not last inning romance like i expected#but just the truest brotherly love which was stronger than anything that mortal felt for fairies he'd been dreaming about but barely knew#ok i think if i tag rambled for this long if i tag this it won't show up in the tags... sorry to fairy devil connoisseurs if it does#sorry but also if YOU wanna talk to me about my important danyin feelings please do feel empowered#clj
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hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing
#haunted ecosystem#this is not helping with how much my hands hurt on a daily basis this is why i type and dont handwrite/draw very much.#im lured in regardless and i really need to find an artform that doesnt Hurt but for now. digital art <3#like theres a difference between my dumb doodles (quick easy not much different from regular computer usage) and actual art#but im an artist at heart i spent sooooo long being an artist and thinking i was shit at writing. that is wrong! im actually kinda good#im rambling in tags today because i have been not social (my partner is in genshin hell and my beloved is. somewhere.)#okay but on another note i reread the first. couple chapters of wtds this morning? the pacing is a little weird and the tense is fucked#but its actually a lot better than i thought it was? you can tell i was fleshing everybody out in my head and i totally forgot about how#i described the watcher [who i am STILL redacting the name of until we get there] and just. ough. pandora being very logical#and then jumping to the latest chapter and fucking sobbing because i forgot about how it went and just. pandora and his.#whatever the fuck is wrong with him.#i have gotta start recommending people read that again. its surprisingly friendly without context because of how i approached it#that fic has taught me so many things its actually a little comical. it also made me relearn how to make and write ocs so thats fun#once i finish that main fic (and i WILL i am actually planning to sign up for a thing. im finishing it i swear.) i finally get to show off#more of the world and characters ive crafted. showing backstories and what-ifs and all these oneshots ive been keeping close to my chest#for like absolutely ages because i dont want any spoilers on my tumblr#and. im finishing that fic in pseudo-memoriam of somebody who deleted their accounts everywhere. still miss you dane!#ok this has completely gone off topic ily tumblr im going back to drawing and i might make a new pfp#it'll still be lavius but it'll be fray lavius since i think about him a lot and i like his color palette.
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did you guys know i like him
#the random dance game on the tv in the back đđ#.txt#anyways jean <3333 jean save me.....#my birth months supposed to be nice and awesome but every day's been awful#at least i have plans w friends today that ik should go well.#and i have like one more day w plans that Should be good. my two good days.#i just hope my birthday goes well idk i feel like it won't and i won't be able to spend it w friends ://#ok sorry weekly vent in tags is over#also ehmm my birthdays the 27th everyone mark the date#ok i go disappear onto twitter again#bye ily all
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finished the dlc! enjoyed it a lot :D
#clai speaks#i'll talk abt it in tags so dont open these if you havent played#first of all. no other mentions of unova at all other than the mention that blueberry academy is located there ok </3#not a big deal ofc i just. really like unova if you couldnt tell HJSBDHHD#actual story was great! its no main story but it didnt need to be. sv's story was already brilliant the dlc didnt need to save it for me--#--like swsh's dlc saved its main game in my eyes. ily calyrex shoutout to my buddy calyrex#lots of little details added like borders for menus that matched your location or phone case and chairs for your picnics!!!#always a sucker for minor aesthetic changes thank you pokemon#carmine made a bad first impression but i warmed up to her i like her a lot :)#kieran...... :( poor guy#weeping sobbing crying about the fact that the last protag sees of him is him crying and running from them#never have i been so upset that i dont have full control of my characters actions within the story#the way carmine and protag kinda just... dismiss kieran so protag can catch ogerpon#talk to him he's distraught!!!!!! he's gonna turn sour in pt 2 no!!!!!! kieran!!!!!!!!!!!!#also speaking of ogerpon. little guy :) very very cute love its mask gimmick#i named mine Kino after the xe/noblade nopon bc i cant think of anything else But a nopon when it keeps saying Pon lmao#also!! sinistcha!!! love how it uses a whisk as hair. also Matcha Gotcha has to be one of my favorite move names now#i'll get around to catching enough pokemon for perrin eventually i'm done for tonight#in summary teal mask was very good i'm very pleased :)
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me coming back on here to see all the people checking out my story and saying nice things and all the cool simblrs following me
#YOUâRE ALL SO KIND THANK YOU#also just know i always read tags and the things some of you have said ily ;-;#also youâre all so cool and you took the time to look at my stuff and also follow????#me @ myself: do not blow this for us#basically i appreciate everyone ok#aliya.txt
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