#just straight up fibbing for fun

[vulpixhoney]

why does Rick Riordan hate the original myths so bad 💀

the Asphodel stuff?? regret? where is that coming from? you fully just made that shit up? out of his ass fr. the fields of Asphodel are specifically an area of neutrality, where the pretty much all mortals go when they die. it's for anyone who lived a normal life, who isn't a hero or a literal monster. it's specifically a neutral zone for people to exist once they die, it has nothing to do with ~your regrets in life~. it's like, a peaceful field of flowers where all your life's troubles are left behind on the surface.

the closest things to that is the fields of mourning/sorrow, but that's specifically for unrequited romantic love and also not called the fields of Asphodel (and also I'd bet money that rr doesn't know what that is) (and also only in Virgil's The Aeneid and not the Odyssey with the rest of what we know of the underworld)

[whydoeseveryonewanttobangchan]

✌🏻 That was so hot… but don’t you dare do that again… ✌🏻

✎ Pairing: Chan x fem!reader

✎ Genre: Smut

✎ Summary: Channie’s Room is live, but you’re bored in the bedroom. Good thing he’s already looking at his phone.

✎ CW: Established relationship, sexting, nudes, vibrator use, swearing, teensy bit of dirty talk, unprotected sex

✎ Word count: 1,373

❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥

“Everybody put your hands up, Stray Kids sing it loud loud loud…”

As usual, Fam plays at the beginning of Channie’s Room. The webcam is pointed at an empty chair, and he appears as the song comes to an end.

“안녕하세요!” Chan sings, greeting the fans watching his stream. “Helllloooooo!”

The chat is full of the usual comments and questions:

ur so hot!

what are you working on? excited for the next album 💕

marry me!

when are you coming to Brazil?

But then there’s yours:

check your texts, babe 🎡☄️🛋️🎒

It’s the odd combination of emojis you agreed to use if you wanted him to know that one anonymous fan was actually you.

He’s reading through the comments, humming between replies. The chat moves so quickly, you’re prepared to send your comment multiple times before finally catching his eye. But then his finger stops scrolling and thumbs at the bottom of the screen to close the app. Bingo.

The “delivered” under your photo changes to “read,” and you can see his expression change ever so slightly. He clears his throat and tries to keep his cool, but blood rushes to his head, spreading from his ears to his cheeks to his throat. Practically every inch of visible skin is now a deep pink.

“Uh, Stay are being so nice today, you’re making me blush,” he says kind of convincingly. But you know better.

While he set up for the stream, you freshened up and donned your new lingerie. You considered being sweet and waiting until he came back to the bedroom to surprise him, but honestly, this is way more fun.

You took a bunch of selfies: one angled down, one angled up, one straight on your tits, another right on your ass. Lots of options, but you decided on the full body shot from above — your lower lip pinched between teeth at the top of the screen, fingers pulling at the bra strap in the middle, and your long, smooth legs crossed in front of the tiniest pair of underwear at the bottom.

He’s having trouble focusing on the chat now, and who could blame him? You look amazing, and there’s just a wall and some wiring between your bodies right now. Two dozen steps, and he could be on top of you, inside of you.

Chan readjusts his body in the chair, undoubtedly making more room in his jeans for his stiffening cock. He fidgets uncomfortably and tries his best to maintain some semblance of normalcy.

Whoosh

Off goes the second image — this one focused on your chest. But the straps are pulled down and one hard nipple sits just above the edge of the bra’s cup, pinched between two fingers.

This photo goes unseen for a little longer than the first, and you’ll let him open it in his own time. He’s seemingly back in his groove on camera, reading fan-suggested pickup lines and discussing whether a tomato is actually a vegetable or a fruit. You know he won’t be able to resist forever, though.

And of course, you’re right — you know him too well. A shaky inhale from virtual Chan encourages you to check your phone, and, yep, he saw the second one. The blush is back and this time, it’s accompanied by a tiny smirk and narrowed eyes. He cheekily stares at his phone’s screen for just a second too long, prompting commenters to ask if something’s wrong.

“Oh, naur, all good here!” he reassures. “I’m gonna play some songs for you guys and I’m just picking the first one!”

Ok, liar. Fib your way through this one.

Whoosh

Photo number 3 is simple, but speaks volumes. A long, thick vibrator sits atop your bare thigh. It’s a new toy, and he’ll know that. He’ll also know you’ll use it if he takes too long, and the thought of him sitting there listening to music on a livestream while his girlfriend fucks herself in the next room over will drive him crazy.

🎒🎡 wow i’m so bored……. ☄️🛋️

Another comment to push him to check his texts. You may get some less-than-nice replies from Stay for this one, but that’s fine. This is for him, not them.

…but there’s no reaction. You’re not sure if he didn’t see it or is simply ignoring it, but he’s vibing to Le Sserafim’s Antifragile like he isn’t thinking about your tits. Too bad you don’t give up that easily.

💕 you look so good today, 🛋️🎒 차니 🎡☄️

Still nothing. Fine, you’ll just start without him.

Your slender fingers pull the lacy underwear to the side to check how wet you are. Teasing your boyfriend like this always revs you up, so you’re not shocked to discover that two fingers slide in with more than enough room to spare. Time for photo number 4.

This one crosses the line from suggestive to straight-up filthy. Half of the vibrator is visibly slick from your arousal, and the other half is buried deep inside your cunt.

Whoosh

You were so distracted with your little photoshoot that you didn’t notice he replied two minutes ago.

you’re so bad

The last photo shows up as “read” almost immediately, and you glance at your laptop to see his reaction. He’s slumped into the corner of the chair, nervously giggling at his phone. So much for keeping his cool.

He’s stopped paying attention to the chat almost entirely, but you don’t even know if he’s noticed. You tend to have that effect on him. One more text while you know he’s still looking.

get your ass in here 🫦

He bites his lip just a little too seductively for YouTube, then he’s saying his goodbyes with unmistakable urgency.

“Bye Stay!!! Big hug? Big hug!” he coos, leaning in and closing his arms around the camera.

Even the hug is shorter than usual.

“See you next time, byyeee,” he chirps, throwing up that signature peace sign with a wink before disappearing from view.

Seconds later, he’s at the door with the same eagerness you saw on screen. But this time, you can also see the outline of his huge, hard cock in his jeans, complete with a small wet spot of pre-cum where the tip pushes against the denim.

“Hey, handsome,” you hum. “Need something?”

“You know what I need, you fucking tease.”

He’s on top of you before you can blink, groping at your tits and sucking at your neck.

“That stupid thing is nothing compared to me, and you know that,” he says, pushing the shiny new sex toy off the bed.

He unzips his pants and unsheathes his cock, giving it a few solid pumps before sliding those panties he saw earlier to the side and driving himself inside you.

“Oh fuck,” Chan breathes. “God, fu-”

Your lips engulf his, ending his moaning and mumbling. His mouth is citrusy, and it’s making your tongue tingle.

There’s really no rhyme or reason for any movement or grasp. You’re going at each other just like you did when you were nothing more than horny teenagers exploring something — and someone — new. Fingers and nails drag on skin and rake through hair, and you’re not sure how much longer you can last.

“Channie, I’m gonna…” you moan, breaking the sloppy kiss. “Are you…”

“Yeah, baby,” he pants. “Come.”

Manicured nails dig into his shoulder blades and you finish with force, crying out his name over and over. God, you hope he actually ended the livestream.

Then he’s coming too, emptying his balls deep inside you. His thrusts weaken, but the small movements are still enough to push some liquid down your legs and onto the comforter. Something to worry about later.

He collapses on top of you, lacking the strength and will to even pull out. His deep breaths tickle your neck, and you’re still seeing stars on the ceiling. Warm, wet fingers caress your damp collarbones, then he speaks.

“Baby, that was so hot… but don’t you dare do that again. I will fucking block you.”

“Agreed, and deal. I’ll only do it when you’re live on TikTok.”

He can’t tell if you’re serious, and if he’s bothered by the idea, he doesn’t show it. As he said, it was hot. And he was 100% right.

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

What do you think Katniss and Peeta’s unexpected turn ons are? Like a small innocent thing about the other that drives them wild just because they really love them so much? And makes the other one go “really? 😉”

This was way too much fun to answer and got out of hand. I could probably think up a thousand more of these if I had the time.

<3 kdnfb

Canonically, Peeta cannot lie to Katniss and look her in the eyes. When she figures out that he still can’t post-mj, she uses it to her advantage. She can always tell when he’s trying to fib his way out of accidentally revealing an innocuous secret or a surprise he’s planning, like what he’s getting her for her birthday. And it drives her a little insane. Like “either look me in the eyes when you try to lie to me or take me to bed right now, since you won’t give me my present right now.”

Katniss is a consummate caretaker, to an almost annoying degree. Fortunately for her, she husbanded someone with a caretaker kink. That boy was dying of blood poisoning, raging with fever in a deathmatch arena, and he was still laying down the lines and making her laugh. Every time she fusses over him or bosses him around when he’s got a minor injury or just a little sniffling cold, that man is in full on flirt mode and dragging her into bed with him. “I’ve got a surefire way you can make me feel better.” “If we have sex, will you stop whining and get up so I can wash the sheets afterwards?” she sighs in exasperation as she’s stripping off her clothes and crawling under the covers with him.

Meanwhile, Katniss goes feral whenever Peeta gets a little protective of her. Some whackadoo from the Capitol comes out to Twelve to check on the progress of the new medicine factory and brings a limousine with him on the train, but the roads in Twelve are not made for cars like that and the idiot almost runs people over. So of course, Peeta wraps his arm around his wife and bodily lifts her out of the path. One second she’s walking through town, reciting her shopping list, the next she’s pressed up against a storefront with Peeta’s body caging her in and some idiot driver is careening past, honking his horn. And if you think Katniss doesn’t almost climb him right there and he has to toss her over his shoulder to drag her home before she tears his clothes off, I cannot help you.

Both of them become unhinged morons whenever the other one is a complete mess. 

By this I mean Katniss comes in from tending the garden, her shirt all sweaty and clinging to her. Her hair’s a mess and she’s got a little sunburn on her nose and cheeks and Peeta’s already naked, demanding she take him on the spot. 

Similar response when she comes home a little disheveled from a hunt. “At least let me put the meat in the freezer first, Peeta.” Nope. She gets railed up against said freezer and can’t keep a straight face when they have to invite Haymitch over to eat all this meat because they had to cook it immediately after or it would’ve gone bad.

Peeta starts coming home from the bakery deliberately a little messy. Flour in his hair, sugar stuck to his neck. A random smear of frosting on his arm. Why? Because Katniss starts squirming the instant she sees him and honestly, he really likes it when she mounts him in the hallway because she couldn’t make it the five extra feet to the bedroom.

He’s lost count of how many times they’ve had sex because he didn’t get all the paint washed off his hands before a meal or before bed. And he almost never notices the smear of paint or pencil dust that winds up on his left temple because he brushed back his hair at some point while he was painting/drawing and why is that so hot? She has no clue, all she knows is that she wants to bathe in him. Usually, she manages to wait a little while for that one, mainly because she wants to see what he was painting before she jumps him. What he was painting often dictates the flavor of their sex.

He doesn’t paint the Games as much, after the first time she tells him “Real,” but when he does, the sex is tender and usually happens in the art studio itself, on a paint splattered sofa or on the floor, rolling around on his floor tarps so that both of them are smeared with paint afterwards.

If he’s painting her or other people that they love, they’ll make it up to the bedroom before clothes start flying, laughing and teasing each other the entire way. Katniss will be laughing so hard she snorts while she’s moaning and coming at the same time. Peeta lives to make her snort laughing while she’s coming, btw. Huge turn on, switch flipped to feral mode as soon as she's done coming, and Katniss feels like she won’t be able to walk straight for a day after he finishes inside her.

He uses her as a canvas? Well eventually he's gonna wind up covered in paint too. They go until the paint starts to dry and by then, they're sleepy and content and can barely move anymore.

Painting landscapes and nature scenes? Absolutely feral pig sex where the neighbors worry about them and ask each other if they should… knock? Make sure everyone is still alive in there? Katniss really can’t walk straight for a day after that, but she’s not complaining. Instead she’s demanding her husband carry her around, because he did that to her, after all.

Sadly for Katniss, Peeta carrying her around is something she absolutely loves for the tenderness and silliness of it, but also at times it turns her into a raving madwoman "take me to bed and throw me on it then fuck me this instant before I pull out all my hair, husband!"

And ho buddy, when the two of them come home all sweaty and gross from rebuilding the district? Round one on the floor in the entryway. Round two with skin squealing on shower walls and borderline screaming moans echoing off the bathroom walls. Hair pulling, biting, clawing sex. Let me inside your skin, ten minutes later we’re still actively sweating well damn it that shower was fucking pointless in terms of getting clean sex.

Katniss eats her pie backwards, crust first and Peeta doesn’t know why, but for some reason, he thinks it’s adorable and needs to have her instantly. Haymitch wonders why he no longer gets pie on nights when he eats dinner with them. There’s always dessert… but no pie. So Peeta starts baking Haymitch his own pies and dropping them off, because he’s not giving up his absolute need to toss Katniss on the table and eat her out like he’s a dying man whenever she eats her pie like that.

Peeta looks like he’s solving all of the world’s problems when he’s brushing his teeth. So serious. Sometimes, Katniss will throw small objects at his prosthetic until he notices and giggles when he does, looking at her like she’s an annoying brat. Sometimes, she sneaks up behind him and makes faces at him over his shoulder until he laughs and spits out the toothpaste. Other times, her hands on him are incredibly naughty and the next thing he knows, he looks like a rabid animal in the mirror while he’s bent over the sink, holding on for dear life with her hands on his dick, unraveling him one caress and stroke at a time. But whatever she does, it ends with their sheets an absolute wreck and both of them naked and sweaty and staring at the ceiling going “Wow. So that… happened…”

Katniss bites her nails when she’s nervous and Peeta fixes it by snatching her hand and kissing her from her fingertips up her arms to her neck… where he blows a raspberry until she’s laughing. Do smutty things happen after that? Depends on the setting.

Peeta still flirts with her. Like blatantly, let's see how red I can get my wife’s face flirting with her over the bakery counter or in the town square, in front of literally everyone’s salad. And Katniss just melts like a loon but is secretly plotting how to get him naked asap. She’s not against throwing him against the nearest tree if only there weren’t so many people in the district. Oh but she’s absolutely savaged him against several trees in the woods because he was flirting.

Peeta whistles when he’s working in the bakery. Katniss thinks it’s adorable and sexy as hell. She sings in the shower and Peeta never misses the show, sitting on the toilet or just standing against the sink just to hear her sing. It’s the only time he manages to move silently.

Katniss cannot keep her hands out of Peeta’s hair. Girl is obsessed. And Peeta finds it at turns, adorable, adorably annoying, a mild turn on, or holy hell hot. Like “pull my hair again when I make you come” hot. Conversely, she absolutely loves it when Peeta brushes and braids her hair for her. He’s trying to have a tender, loving moment, and she’s often “are you done yet because as soon as that hair tie is on, i’m gonna be all over you.”

Both of them absolutely love it when the other one laughs. It’s not always a turn on, per se, but when it is… lord have mercy they broke a whole ass bed one time because Peeta laughed at something Katniss said.

Peeta wearing loose, soft pajama pants or the like. Katniss is all hot and bothered and “i’m not that big you can definitely fit me in there with you…” Peeta looks at her like she’s lost it, but they actually do try it once or twice. Numerous pairs of pants have been ripped and sewn back together in this pursuit, and not because she couldn’t fit in there with him.

He’s long since accepted that if they’re dressing up for some occasion, he has to get dressed two hours early. To give Katniss enough time to rip it all off and have her way with him and still have time for them to shower and get dressed again so they’re not late.

Anytime Katniss wears one of his shirts, sweaters, etc, he’s pretty sure he’s going to die unless he gets his mouth or hands on her and then his cock inside her because half the time, she’s not wearing a bra or pants with them, just panties, and he just… has to have her. NOW. While said garment is still on her body. Especially a particular red sweater he was wearing the day they had sex the first time and she wore it the morning after.

She absolutely has a sunset orange nightie that nearly gets removed (or not removed) every time she wears it, but removed or not… either way, Katniss can’t feel her toes after Peeta makes her come as many times as he can whenever she wears it. 

[mjrtaurus]

Have you considered the comedy potential? Of Dragon and Robin teaming up to pull on of the biggest pranks in history?

And by that I mean they pretend to be father daughter

Cause like the theory is awesome but it’s so much funnier if the whole thing is just them lying

Dragon (known homosexual) - ah yes this is my daughter who I got from a woman I was in a sexual relationship with

Robin (known shitdisturber) - yes it is I his daughter who was produced through sexual intercourse with my female mother.

The whole thing gets way too out of hand during the two year arc and results in one very angry ex warlord kicking down Dragons door.

You’re right, this is so much funnier.

And people believe it because not only do they look similar enough to pull it off, but Robin’s weirdgirl energy and Dragon’s commit to any and all bits energy just. Click. Right into place. No gaps. Seamless.

I’m on Zou Arc right now and Robin is fucking with everyone like “my god, they’re cannibals”. Meanwhile, if he were there, Dragon- 100% running with her shit-stirring because it’s the funniest thing ever- would have gone “can they really be called cannibals since they’re Mink? Or does the term apply to all sapient humanoid species?” Cut to Usopp screaming because if the leader of the Revs (who’s there for whatever reason) is saying that, then it MUST be true!

Except everyone knows he’s bullshitting because everyone knows- including him- that Robin is bullshitting.

And it just kind of happens one day at the end of a discussion, back in her two year stay on Baltigo. Dragon’s been talking with her a lot, getting to know her, making sure she knows that she’s as welcome and accepted among the RA as she is with the Strawhats. The standard practice of “feed the stray cat so they know you’re a nice human and can be trusted”. You know the one.

Just.

A sip from the drink in her hand, like she’s already concocting more schemes.

“I hope you’ll forgive me, but some have been asking me- indirectly at least- if I’m your daughter. And I’ve been telling a few fibs here and there because of it.”

A twitch at the corner of his mouth, like he’s fighting a grin.

“Interesting… What sort of fibs, for the sake of keeping the story straight?”

Full shit-stirrer to shit-stirrer communication. Except it goes a little too well when Robin has reunited with the Strawhats for a while, and Dragon gets a very livid call from his dear and beloved nicotine addicted reptile. Accusing him of… sleeping with a woman? How rude! How unoriginal!

And that’s how Dragon learns that Robin’s been using her talents for fucking with people in a “good and friendly” manner to routinely put Crocodile through the wringer. Untraceable calls in the middle of the night that have the man feeling like he needs to be locked in a padded cell. Seastone muzzle and straitjacket optional.

The sudden shock of that revelation makes Dragon break, and then he’s cackling and wheezing like a madman until even the snail is concerned for his health.

“Wani, are you really that surprised that she would gaslight you for fun?”

“… Fair point…”

Oh, if Robin wasn’t going to get adopted into his dysfunctional garbage fire of a family before, she definitely is now.

[arcaneacolyte]

I think Mountain likes to make Epsom salt concoctions for all of his packmates, and especially ones with chronic pain.

He likes to mix and test and create on a good day, splicing flowers and plants together and seeing what effects he can create. He just loves botany and what he can get his element to give him, so it makes sense that making bath salts would be so fun for him.

Working out formulas for everyone's specific needs is so enjoyable too; be it migraines, anxiety, aches and pains, relaxation. He just thrives in the throws of *creation* and also problem solving. The fact that it will end up helping his packmates is a huge bonus too. The sparkling eyes and bright smiles he gets from them when he pulls the perfectly packaged salts from behind his back--with self made paper bags and labels to boot, Mountain doesn't do handmade gifts by halves--makes the long hours it takes to get the recipe just right for their needs worth it.

He always asks for a report back on how this batch works, and if there's anything he can do to improve it. The other Ghouls don't tell him, but he gets so cute like this, genuinely eager to provide but also improve. Really the mixes are all perfect already, but the wide forest green eyes and not-so-subtly wagging tail behind the giant is enough for them to tell a little fib and come up with something arbitrary, but will make Mountain double his efforts.

He loves his pack, he loves his element, and he dives straight back to work so that the next batch is all ready to just as soon as this one runs out.

[midnight-coll]

My name is ebony dark'ness lucifer raven way. Like gerard way, but we're not related or anything. Im glad we aren't, because he's sooo hot. I have long ebony black hair, like my name, with red streaks and I'm wearing knee high boots with a black mini skirt and sexy fishnet tights with a cut black top with cut off sleeves and my hair is in my eyes because im emo. That prep chuck or whatevr is staring at me. I put my middle finger up at him.

Im walking through a random foggy street somewhere in the midwest. There r murders here and its sooo Gothic, im a vampire but my teeth ate straight and white and nobody would ever know but ima actually a good vampire because the ones who suck SUCK. Its like if edward cullen didn't suck. Anyway i look over at the gotjic murders sadly and watch as the the sexy fbi agents ask the mother of the murder about... Vampires. When they turn around, they look at me and oh my god that's not an fib agent its DEAN WINCHESTER?

Dean walks over sadly and introduces himself as bill ward with his partner, geezer butler. I laugh sadly and tell him "too bad i know who you really are... Dean and Sam winchester" they look at me.in shock. "Im a friend of the sexy bobby singer too i know you" they both gasp mournfully. "Well if you know Bobby why don't we.meet up later and uh go out later." I smile and accept. Omg im going out with dean winchester!!¡!

Gothically time skips

When i go to my gothically shutty hotel i call bonby "oh my god dean is taking me out later" and bonby replied "i cant believe you didn't tell me you liked him earlier" "i didn't want to tell yoi bwcause you wouldnt believe me" bonby hung up the phone bc he had ither things to do.

Getting dressed i put on thigh high platform boots, a short black jean skirt, and a hoodie crop top with zipper in the middle and skull.hands on the front and the sleeves ripped down to my hands. I put on a chocker and black cross star earrings (a.n. if u dont know what.that is too bad, leave my story alone prepz xoxo) i put on black lipstick and black.eyeliner and pulled my bangs down to my eyes and shown the red streaks in my long raven hair.

Dean drives up in his shiny black 67 impala and when i get in i am happily shocked. Instead of the normal interior, he had painted the my chemical romance black parade album cover on the dash!! Maybe he is gothic after all, because when inlooked over to him he was wearing ripoed jeans, black nail polish, a chain necklace with black eyeliner on his green eyes and black boots. "Im surprised there is no Sam" i say gothicaly happy for it to be just him. He said and gloomily replied "Sam is busy being a nerd preo" i look at him confused. "Wym he is a nerd prep?? That's nor sam that's his weird gothelganger (a.n. get it?? Like doppelganger but goth?) Jared padeleski" "oh yeah, Sam is reading about werewolves and demons i forgot" i look concerned. "How could u forger about ur own brother??" He gothically says "i did a lot of cool weed before i picked you up, i brought some for you too" he stops and looks shyly under his combed forward banhs "if you would take some from me" i nod happily and.off we go.

"I hope you like good charlotte because that's.who we are seeing" i am so.happy, dean truly is emo now.

At the.concert we dance and laugh and make fun of that evil prep Hillary fucking duff. On our way back.he makes a stop ourside of the woods. "What r you doing???" I asked confused. He sighs and says "enoby, ibe known who you are for a while. Bobby told me all about you. I've lobed you for a while" i gasp "really!!!" "Really" he says gothifically. We get out and wander into the forest. He pins me against the wall. "Omg are we gonna do a sex" he laughs and smiles bwfore putting his thing in my thing and-

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

We stop and look up. It was.... Chuck? The weird guy? "Ur not supposed to be doing this dean! I have a headache" i look at him sadly, poor weird guy. Dean stops and says "chuck i know you wamt me but my heart belongs to enoby" chuck looks angry "no not you dean, her" i gasp. Dean looks angry "all this time i could have been with cas?" Chuck looks sad. "No the cw was too homophobic, you cant be balls deep in your angel. Not right now. You cant be balls deep in her either, she's mine" i stop. "Who even r u" i ask "i am god" i laugh at him. Dean looks at me and confirms. "Oh my god" i say deprezzedly. "No its chuck" says dean.

Suddenly Sam runs through the trees being chased by his gothelganger jared padaleski. Chuck gets angry and shoots the annoying guy. "Thank you" says same before he stops and says "chuck? stop trying to fucj my brother. When his gay love for cas reached through the veil of death and saved the day even though cas actually stayed dead.into superhell because of the evil cw it turned him gothic he's too goffic for you" chuck sighed and said "i know its not.him i want."

I stop and realize.that dean winchester and god are fighting over me. Same looks and says "wait, i hear someone else in the trees." As we all looked and waited and staired in comes... Bonby and.. Cas? But i thought cas was dead? Bonby speaks "here is the man who killed the cw sniper.. He has something to say" i look at him gothically "i am not your "cas" i am his gothelganger misha collins" i gasp. He says something about killing god and makes some metaphor about how he killed the cw sniper cw is god wharever i don't care but then.... Misha collins gave me a gun!! I wasn't.really listening to him, i was too busy thinking depressing thoughts and.i yell "im not killing dean u weirdo i lobe him!!!" Bonby looks at me and starts "you idjit" but then stops as one more person comes through the trees. It was jensen ankles!! "Jensen ankles??" Dean says "i don't want a gothelganger that.isn't goffic" Jensen replies "i will be soon, i need to reach through the veil of death for my own gay love" and he ... Shoots god??? "That's what i wanted you to do" mischa says before kissing jensen gothically depressedly i look and see dean looking jealous so i go and kiss him "im better than your gay angel anyway" and he agrees and then same and bonby are looking at each other depressedly and start clapping.

Prepz don't hate.on mah story okay??

[moodymisty]

Sorry for this 5am longpost. I just got jolted awake by a really intense nightmare and while waiting for my heartrate to chill, I had a daydream vaguely based on your tag about Sanguinius being down bad for Horus lover. I hope this doesn't get cut off by tumblr due to length.

Mortarion is my favorite right now, and of course the fungus took over. I am a sucker for a cynical bastard falling for someone who secretly has a heart of gold despite appearances.

I was thinking of Horus' lover being a princess for her foreign planet, but she's unknowingly a low level psyker or something. Somehow, someway, she can always without fail tell when a person lies. This sort of thing plagues her life terribly, everyone from the lowest servant to the most noble lord constantly lying straight to her face and she has to try and not show that she knows.

Horus is the one to conquer her planet, and a situation like Fulgrim and his wives happens where she is offered to him for marriage, as is typical on her world. She is silently a bit miserable, she is now a prop to a man's ambition(as having a wife would probably make Horus seem more human, more relatable, making him less 'other' to baseline humans and he would be very aware of that) and watching him lie to so many people's faces at big events, or even political talks, is just soul-crushing to her.

At some big Terran event different primarchs are taking turns meeting Horus' new wife, and telling plenty of fibs about how excited they are to meet her, how lovely she looks, so on. And then she meets Mortarion.

I am new to the books so far, but Mortarion seems so blunt. Like he doesn't waste the effort to lie. And I feel like that may be one of the (many) things that made him difficult to get along with, even for his brothers.

I am autistic, not entirely high functioning, and lying is difficult to me. I can't do it well at all. So I don't bother. And boy do I know that people hate when you're truthful with them. So maybe I am projecting onto him lol.

So Mortarion bluntly says some rude but truthful comment to her, like "This is a waste of time." the room gets quiet, and instead of being angry she SMILES. She thinks it is genuinely impressive he just said exactly what was on his mind despite the expectations placed on him. And in front of such a crowd, too.

At some point, a serving person does an oopsie and drops a drink, some of it getting on her, and Mortarion is just stanking it up in the corner waiting to see her berate the poor soul. Typical entitled nobility.

But she gently reassures them, and even goes so far as to help them wipe up the little mess. He's surprised, but his cynical side wins out and he just files it away as her pretending to be kind.

In the future, at another event she is sitting alone and brooding in the gardens a bit tipsy from wine. Morty has the same idea to escape the banquet and notices her. They have a heart-to-heart about how fake their lives feel, having to put on little shows and shows of force for social gatherings and parades. How the upper classes are all snakes lying to each other, and ruining the lives of regular people in their little games.

After seeing she isn't just a spoiled little girl with her head in the clouds putting on airs, that she laments the suffering of the "lower" classes, maybe he starts catching feelings.

This is as far as I got lol. My brain skipped ahead to Mortarion being uncharacteristically deferential with her at some other big gathering, like getting down on one knee to gently take her hand and greet her and his brothers all being flabbergasted. The drama would be hilarious. It'd be like an extra middle finger to Horus especially. Fulgrim would have a field day.

The extra angst of Morty finding out she is a low level psyker would also be interesting! He'd be struggling to reconcile the monstrous image he has of psykers with the gentle nature of his lover.

ANYWAY I got strangely inspired!! I've never written anything just for fun before, so I know I wouldn't be good at it, but maybe I'll try? It's like I've got this thing in my brain screeching at me to at least attempt it lol.

(By the way, I hope the crazy weather yesterday missed you! That shit was scary.)

This is fantastic, I fucking love this. I've been wanting to write more for Mortarion but I struggle to find a good idea sometimes, this is really really good. I also think that Morty wouldn't have the energy or care to lie, and that seeing someone who doesn't flaunt their stature, and even treats him kindly would make him catch feelings.

I've already gone so off the rails doing random writings that I held myself back from doing this one, but once i get a few more requests done I hope you don't mind if I come back and write this. Unless you wish to keep it only to yourself ;3

the worst of the weather missed me, but it was still pretty intense, the wind was like 60mph. i hope you were safe as well!

[nomoreusername]

Lipstick (Highschool AU)

Pairing:Aris x female reader

Summary:Despite trying to keep your relationship a secret, one kiss may just ruin that plan.

It wasn't as if we were ashamed of each other. There also wasn't any fear of judgment or strict parents. There wasn't any real reason for keeping our relationship a secret other than it sounds kind of fun. Honestly, just sneaking around also made when we were together even more special. Besides, we were wondering how long our friends would take to figure it out.

Right now, the decided destination was under the bleachers during class. I had never really skipped before now, but it was just worth the risk. 

“Not gonna lie. I have no idea what's going on over there,”She remarked, referring to the football practice.

“Maybe I should try out,”I deadpanned. She rolled her eyes before cuddling up to my chest. Wrapping my arm over her shoulder, I pressed my lips to her temple.

“No you're not. You're my book nerd,”She sighed.

“I've got no clue what you're talking about,”I lied. Throwing me a look, she pointed to my bag that was in fact full of books.

“I may have an idea of what you're talking about.”

“You're such a dork,”She teased. 

“Ouch. What’d I do to deserve that?”

“Is it better if I say you're my dork?”

“Yes. Very much so,”I nodded. 

“Okay, fine. You're my dork,”She corrected. With a grin, I cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead again. The second my lips weren't on her skin the bell rang.

“I’ll see you during sixth period,”She sighed. Taking her hand, I helped her off the grass. 

“I’ll see you there,”I agreed as we snuck out. Once we were out in the open she risked kissing my cheek before walking to her next class. With my bag on my shoulder, I headed to lunch where I’d be interrogated on where I was last period. 

♡ - - - ♡

With my tray in my hand, I sat at our usual table outside. With Sonya on one side and Harriet on the other, I gave a small wave before going to eat. Just as I opened my sandwich Sonya straight up squealed, almost making me fall out of my seat.

“Why don't you be a bit louder? I don't think the south side of China heard you,”Minho remarked.

“Where did you go last period?”She asked.

“To the nurse,”I shrugged. When she raised an eyebrow I added that it was for a headache.

“Cut the act. Who’s the girl? What is she like? Do we know her? Does she go here? Are you going to introduce us?”She threw at me.

“What girl? I don't know what you're talking about,”I denied, doing my best not to fiddle with my sweatshirt strings. That would be a dead giveaway that I was fibbing.

“You have a lipstick mark on your cheek,”She informed me. Without realizing I was covering it with my hand as if I could just go through all of lunch like this. Not letting that slide, she pulled it away and took a photo before passing her phone around the group. The second they saw it they crowded around me like I was a new species.

“What are we looking at?”Gally asked, coming out of nowhere. With a wide smile, Teresa pointed at my cheek making my face flush.

“Aww. He's blushing. Who is it? Who?”Thomas repeated.

“Nobody,”I lied.

“Just tell us.”

“Who do we know that wears this color?”

“We won't say anything.”

“We just want to know.”

“How long have you two been together?”

“Where do you guys sneak off to when nobody's watching?”

“Stop asking questions,”I demanded. The second the words left my mouth they were silent. Still, they were staring into my soul as if they could read my mind. 

At that moment my phone buzzed. Staring at it, before I could check it Thomas snatched it up. Getting up so fast I almost lost my balance, I reached for it when Gally pulled me back. 

“It just says, “hello my boy. I’m getting picked up early so I wanted to tell you I love you.” It even has a heart,”He explained, ready to fangirl out.

“Who’s it from?”

“Love of my life. That's literally too cute. Look,”He urged, showing them. The second he did, their jaws dropped. 

“Thomas, you moron. Look at the lock screen,”Gally directed as I was ready to elbow him in the face. That was the only confirmation they would need. It's not like anyone else would be my background, but the picture was so sweet, so lovely, so genuine. She made me do facemasks with her, and I took it when she didn't have time to pose. It was just her being happy which was more beautiful than any staged photo. The point is that it's my favorite picture in the entire world so of course it was my phone's background. 

Turning it around, he was flipping out so hard he almost dropped it. With Gally finally releasing me I grabbed it from his hands. 

“Aris, how dare you not tell us. Where'd you meet her? When can we? Does she know we exist?”Sonya asked so fast I don't even think she was breathing.

“I have her first period. She's really nice,”Teresa spoke up.

“It is a crime that you would keep this from us,”Fry added. 

“Yeah. That seems bloody adorable,”Newt chipped in.

“I’m really just interested in the drama,”Brenda admitted.

“Can you guys just stop? There's not even any drama,”I promised.

“Then, why’d you hide her?”Harriet pointed out.

“Because it’s fun, or it was,”I answered.

“Tell us about her,”Sonya urged.

“You do not want me to do that,”I promised.

“But why?”Thomas groaned.

“Because I wouldn't stop talking, and I still wouldn't even be done with half of what I want to say.”

“Awww,”half of them gushed. 

That damn lipstick mark.

I mean I do get to talk about her now though, so it's definitely not all bad. Besides, I was getting sick of only holding her hand when we're alone.

[goodluckdetective]

Am I still writing “Sherlock Holmes but make it fantasy lesbians?” Yes, yes I am. (Previous Entry Here)

This has a very niche audience, but I’m having fun and isn’t that the point. And apparently some of you guys enjoy this niche so take this:

From “A Study in Sigils” by Dr. Joanna Watson “You were entirely right about me,” I told Holmes as she glared down at her foot, still stuck to the floor from the low level curse. She knew as well as I did that physical force wouldn’t help any, but I assumed it made her feel better to try. “Pardon?”

I bent down, taking a look at the sigil. It didn’t look too strong, in fact it might be the kind bought for keeping things attached to the wall when nails would not suffice. “You were right: I was a solider, I was shot, I did have a brother, and my sigil is related to my job. 

The notes of Sherlock Holmes, found in the margins of a copy of the Strand:

This is a lie, though one I do not begrudge. Watson fibs quite a bit when writing up our adventures: sometimes to persevere privacy but mostly because it “makes a better story.” More than once she’s written herself out of a chase scene or had Gregson say something especially foolish that he never uttered. I care not for fiction, of course, but she is quite steadfast about her changes to the facts, and I doubt I’ll ever convince her.

I digress. The above passage is perhaps one of the biggest lies Watson has ever put in print. It is a necessary one, that I agree, but I find the fictional version lacks what made the conversation so interesting.

Everything up to my blasted foot being stuck is the truth. I was indeed trying to pry it loose with force: it can be accomplished should one pull at just the right angle, but it takes a bit of trial and error to find the right one. Watson had indeed bent down to inspect the sigil and told me that I had made an error. 

“You were right: I was a solider, I was shot in the shoulder, and I did have a brother,” she actually said.  “But you were wrong about my sigil.”

This wasn’t a total surprise: I had considered Watson’s sigil might be related to her military career instead. I’d guessed medicine because most medical professionals had sigils that aided in medicine even if they had a particular non-medical speciality. “Combat skills then?”

Watson shook her head and she looked almost insulted. “That took work. And training. No, no, just-“

She reached forward towards the sigil keeping me attached to the floor. For a second, I thought she would get her right hand stuck along with my foot, and then we’d look particularly ridiculous when the Yard arrived. It wasn’t until I saw the glow of her sigil’s shape that I understood.

Watson’s sigil was not that of two interconnected circles, like those of medicine. Nor was it a shield, often seen in those whose magic aimed to protect. It was not even a straight line, which could be seen in some who excelled in a particular task. No, Watson’s sigil shape took the form of a circle. The shape of those whose magic worked on magic itself.

The sigil attaching me to the floor vanished under her touch. I had not stopped pulling my leg from the floor and almost fell over from the sudden change in weight. Watson came up to steady me and I stared at her, stunned. And I was rarely stunned.

“You’re a cursebreaker,” I said. The yard employed one or two but they often kept their sigils open to see and even if they didn’t, it was easy to deduce. Meanwhile Watson had been in my company for weeks and I hadn’t even noticed. 

People often wonder why I spend my time with Joanna Watson, something she finds amusing and I find insulting on her behalf. Those few who know of her true magical talent come to a more irritating conclusion; that I let Watson accompany me for her useful spells. While I will admit Watson’s magical talents are useful, it is merely a benefit in my adventures, not the main reason I have taken to working with a partner. To list a few of her better qualities; Watson is often more clever than she portrays herself (even if she often misses minor details), she’s loyal and open-hearted despite encountering some of the darkest hearts in London. But that I would discover later. In that moment, I took to Watson an entirely different reason:

Joanna Watson is many things but she is one of the few people who can surprise me. 

[lookatthestarrynight]

We Always Love the Things We Cannot Have - Part 3/3

Armitage Hux/Reader, on AO3, check my masterlist for more (including the previous parts).

Armitage Hux, General of the First Order, Destroyer of Worlds, regretted few things in life… but this? He regretted this very much. He had not meant to fall for his strange savior, a woman who claimed to be nobody, who disappeared with just as much ease as she appeared. They were bound to meet again… after all, the galaxy works in mysterious ways.

Warnings: it's like two inches to the left of smut. 1530 words.

A/N: I dropped off the face of Tumblr for three years but this has also been in a google docs for three years so I present: the long awaited, maybe much anticipated part three. i'msosorry.

As was their recurring habit, General Hux encountered his scarred savior for a third time when he was attending an admittedly very frustrating fundraising party in a Canto Bight casino. He was aware that the Resistance might show up, but he hadn’t expected to be cornered by her in a casino elevator following a successful business deal. He’d gotten in alone, assuring his troopers that he would be fine alone – which, at this point, he should know is not really true. He’d gone down two floors, and then the elevator had stopped with a beep and in stepped her. Her, in a shimmering red dress, her eyes like bright orbs, framed in perfect eyeshadow, her silvery scar on full display, her hair twisted in an ornate updo. Who knew the Resistance had money for such a look?

“Hello, Armitage.”

He murmured her name in greeting as she stepped into the elevator car. “What brought you here?”

She stood next to him, now. “The General wanted me to make friends with my mother again, so that’s what I did. And my mother wanted me here.” 

He nods, recalling her story from the first time they met. It was not Resistance business at all, then, not really.

“What about you?”

“First Order fundraising business.”

“Ah. Sounds like fun.”

“It’s not.”

She giggled. “Do you want to have fun?”

He looked over at her, at the mischievous glint in her eyes. “I’m not entirely sure.”

She smiled, reaching forward and stopping the elevator car, fiddling with the buttons on the screen and sending the car rocketing back upwards, towards the floor she came from. 

“They’ll notice I’m gone.”

She shrugged. “I’m sure you can come up with a clever fib, Armitage.”

He flushed, and watched as the car slowly approached her floor, coming to a stop with a ding. She grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the car with her and down the hall to the door of her suite. She pressed her hand to the panel on the side of the door and it slid open with a mute, satisfying whoosh. She pulled him in, the door closing behind them. They stood in the foyer of the suite now, and she spun to face him.

“Well? What do you think?”

“About what?”

A conniving glint passed through her eyes. “About fun, Armitage.”

Hux shrugged, noncommittal and stiff. He had a feeling he knew what she meant, but he couldn’t help but want to make her spell it out for him.

She huffed, stepping towards him, her hands going to thread her fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck. Her perfume swirled around him, wrapping him in her aura once again. Slowly, he moved his hands to rest on her hips. He pulled her into him and she fell into his chest with a surprised gasp.

“Armitage!” she breathed, teasing. 

He smiled, looking down at her. “You’re the one that started it, darling.”

“Darling?”

“Would you prefer a different pet name?”

She grinned. “No, not at all.” She pushed herself forward, her lips meeting his. He could faintly taste her red lipstick as their lips parted and their tongues met. After a moment, she pulled away, breathless, and extricated herself from his grip. She stepped away and beckoned that he follow her down the hall that broke away straight from the foyer, and he did. It was only but a moment before she snagged his hand in hers and dragged him into what he presumed was her bedroom – and then she wrapped him up in her arms and their lips were connected yet again. One of her hands separated from him, reaching for her own hair and pulling out the ornate pins that held it in place. She reached to one of his hands and brought it to her hair, tossing the pins haphazardly on the dresser a bit away from where they stood. Hux curled his fingers into her locks, pushing himself closer to her. 

It occurred to him that there were many things about this that were inherently wrong – namely: he was an officer of the First Order, she of the Resistance. But, as she pulled him with her towards the bed, he couldn’t really find it in himself to care about the little things like that. Slowly, his fingers wandered to the clasps of her dress, and he undid them, one at a time, feeling the fine fabric slide through his hands and down her body like water. In likewise form, her fingers wandered to the buttons of his dress uniform, undoing them with oddly practiced grace.

Hardly but a moment later, he found himself on his back, on the bed, with her straddling his lower abdomen, a shining smile on her face as she leaned forward to kiss him again, and again, and again.

They seemed, as cliche as it sounded, to fit together like puzzle pieces. Hux was mesmerized as he watched her rise and fall above him, head thrown back in ecstasy. He held her hips, tighter and tighter, as if to hold this moment in time forever. Her little gasps of pleasure were music to his ears, a sound he would cherish forever; the warmth of her around him a sensation unlike any other. The sheets wrapped around them in a warm embrace, cocooning them in a moment unto their own, far away from the trials of the galaxy. In what felt like no time at all to Hux (but was, in fact, surely longer), they were separating, laying beside each other, breathing heavily. With his heart thundering away in his chest (whether from exertion, or love, or both), he pulled her closer to his body and held her for a moment, dreading the approaching instant that they would separate, again, for who knows how long. 

After a while, she pulled herself free of his grasp, and sat up in the bed. “I’m sure they will be missing you by now, Armitage.” She looked sad even as she said it, so Hux bit back his snarky response and nodded reluctantly – already beginning his evolution back into a stiff military man. 

She watched him with sparkling eyes as he redressed, as he stood in front of the mirror and fixed his hair, as he straightened his cuffs and pulled the wrinkles from his uniform. At some point, she got up from the bed, wandering over to him in nothing but the sheet – held loosely, at that – and quietly slid one of her ornate hair pins into the interior pocket of his uniform jacket, gently kissing his cheek as she did so. 

“I’m sure I’ll see you again soon, Armitage.”

He nodded, turning to her and pressing a kiss to her hairline. “Likewise, darling.”

And with that, he was walking out of the bedroom and down the hall, out of the suite and to the elevator, out to the casino, to the First Order fundraiser, back to the stuffy Senators and businessmen – and away from what he’d decided was the most beautiful thing in the whole galaxy. 

<>

He did not see her again soon. In fact, he did not see her again for a year, and for that entire span of time, he found himself desperately wishing he’d found a way to keep in touch with her – but today, he came to the startling realization that she had somehow found a way to keep in touch with him. 

Today, he received an encrypted message from a far corner of the galaxy, with the sender merely listed as “Darling.” He knew who it was, of course, he remembered everything. It was a message of five lines, five sentences that had managed to turn his entire world upside down. 

The first informed him that she had left the Resistance shortly after their last meeting.

The second informed him of why.

The third informed him of the name of her reason why: Amarante.

The fourth informed him that mother and daughter were in a place no military, no enemy of his would ever find them.

The fifth was three small, meaningful words. I love you.

And so, when Kylo Ren found General Hux later that day, he was precisely where her message had left him – standing in front of a glass viewport on the Finalizer, staring into deep space, wishing he knew which stars they could both see. 

“General.”

“Commander.”

“You look… surprised. I had not thought such a thing was… possible, for a man like you.” 

Hux could feel the fingers of the Force rifling through his mind, finding what was wrong in only an instant.

“Ah.”

Hux merely grunted in return.

“Well, at least they are safe.”

Hux wanted to smack the Commander, make him understand that there was so much more to this than safety, but he didn’t.

“When the First Order succeeds, I’m sure she will find you again, General.”

For the first time ever, Armitage Hux found himself genuinely afraid of losing – the war, her, Amarante – all of it.

Armitage Hux, General of the First Order, Destroyer of Worlds, regretted few things in life… but this? He regretted this very much.

Another A/N: I like to think this is what made him spy for the Resistance in the end. Some sort of misguided prayer for redemption, hope to see her, I dunno. In a perfect world, he lived happily ever after with his Darling and Amarante. But, well. We know how this story ends… if anyone is interested I could definitely write an AU epilogue, though. I have many thoughts (including, but not limited to, Poe x Darling, platonic or romantic). In my head a lot of this happens beginning before TFA, and pushing a bit into it but not far. Come TLJ and TROS, I’m feeling Darling and Amarante have been estranged from the galaxy for at least a few years, and Amarante is no longer a toddling baby.

[supervillain-smut]

Hoss we about Captain Cold being a little too warm 😉 and decides that being naked with you is more fun

Thank you ☺️

"Fuck! Oh, god!" Leonard Snart, aka Captain Cold, and your boyfriend, groaned for the 15th time in about an hour. "Too hot, fuck I'm too hot! WHY IS IT SO HOT IN HERE?! MICK! I'M BLAMING YOU!" Len shouted loud enough so hopefully Mick could hear him while he was working on the AC in the backyard of your shared house.

"YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW! YOU TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT ONE DAMN TIME, AND NOW IT'S YOUR FAULT IT'S BROKEN!" Mick yelled back, throwing a bolt at the window he'd regret throwing later as he'd have to find it in the grass.

You, however, sat relatively cool in front of a box fan working its hardest, peeking over at the two men every time they spoke or made a noise. Apparently, this time Len had accepted the AC would take longer than him getting heat stroke and chose to shed his iconic parka. A rare sight indeed. You took the time to admire Len in his joggers and black thermal shirt. The shirt was tight to his body, to effectively trap his body heat, but its main purpose right now was leaving very little to the imagination of his torso.

Len was no Olympic athlete; no six-pack to be found on the Rogue who did almost nothing but sit around planning heists, drinking beer, and watching the latest hockey game until there was action to be had. He was no slob when it came to him and his body, personal hygiene included. His outline from his shoulders to his waist still formed a V, and his arms got enough work holding that cryo-gun all the time, let alone his strong legs from constantly moving around to avoid getting hit while trying to hit back. He was soft and comfortable, while still being fit for his job. It was perfect for you to lay on him but now wasn't the time.

You had shed your own long-sleeved shirt and joggers that were usually required when living with the Captain Cold, and had traded them for a tank top and shorts; they'd shrunk in the wash last time James did laundry, so you were fighting to keep them covering your butt completely. "Babe, can you grab me a water from the fridge? I'm dying over here." Len always asked you so nicely for things. He mostly liked to spoil you, so asking was a big deal for him.

"Sure, Len. I was just about to grab one anyway." You fibbed as you got up and sauntered to the fridge, feeling eyes on you the whole way, especially when you had to crouch to reach the coldest ones on the bottom shelf. When you turned back around, you stopped in your tracks at what was in front of you. Len, while you were busy, had taken off the thermal and was now sitting leaning back on the couch bare-chested and patting his face dry with a damp towel. You walked over and handed the water bottle to him.

"Thanks, babe, you're the best. Could you maybe do one more thing while you're up?" "Sure, Len." "Could you run this under cold water again?" "Yeah, of course." You had to stop yourself from muttering or whispering your responses as you grabbed the towel and ran it under the faucet, wringing it out so it wasn't soaked, and handed it back to Len, who pulled you into his lap for a quick kiss. As much as you loved the sight and feel of him half-naked, the sweat was not a great feeling, and you really wanted to get back to your fan, so you brought your cold water bottle to the back of his neck.

This, however, backfired when Len straightened up for a second in shock before letting out a moan. "Oh, that feels so good..." The sentence had sent a wave of heat straight to your core, and you tried to laugh off the awkward feeling. Len pulled you even further into his lap and leaned his head back into the water bottle to cool down. "I hate this heat. I wanna just strip and lay on an ice block. Anything would be better than this." Len groaned.

"Why don't you put that cold gun to good use?" You suggested, gesturing to the weapon sitting on the workbench. "I told you, the gun's not a power to abuse. Besides, it's going to leave an even bigger mess once the ice melts." "... What about a small layer? Wouldn't it just evaporate after some time? We could lightly frost the bed and just lay on it." Len looked at you amused for a moment before he changed to thought. "You know what, that would work; and it sounds like a capital idea. Come on." Len said as he got up after you and grabbed the gun, following you up to your shared room, his eyes never leaving your ass.

As soon as you were both inside, you shut the door only to squeak in surprise as Len pinned you against the door, attacking your neck with kisses. "Fuck, those shorts look so good on you. Just can't keep my hands to myself. You want me to stop, now's the time to say so." Len panted as he looked you in the eyes and loosened his grip on your wrists, giving you space and wiggle room; neither of which you wanted.

"Stop? I say go. Why don't we put that bed idea into action?" You spoke in a sultry tone as you gently pushed him backward towards the bed. "Fuck, I love you." Len breathed as he turned around long enough to lightly frost the bed, immediately throwing you onto it, and dropping the cold gun on the floor. You gasped at the sudden cold as Len climbed over you, resuming his attack on your neck.

You wrapped your legs around his hips and he began to grind into you half-erect. Len's hand drifted lower and lower down your body before pulling your panties to the side and dipping a finger into your heat, curling it. "Fuck! Len!" You cried out as he delved another finger past your folds. "That's it. You're being so good for me."

He continued to finger you for a while, and just when you felt that coil starting to tighten, he stopped. "Len! No! Please, don't stop!" "Sorry, darling, I have to if you want me to fuck you properly. You want me to fuck you, or do you wanna come like this?" You lay there panting as you thought. "I want you to fuck me. Please fuck me, Len." "Atta girl. Come here." Len kissed behind your ear as he pulled his boxers down and pumped himself a few times, a bead of pre-cum spilling from the tip before he pushed into you with a groan.

"Fuck, you feel so good. All mine. So beautiful and perfect, just for me." Len groaned into your ear as he pushed in until he couldn't anymore. He slowly drew back until just his tip was sheathed, then slammed back into you, nearly knocking the wind out of you with pleasure. You locked your ankles around his hips, encouraging him to set a steady pace as he fucked into you.

the smell and sound of sex filled the room as you went at it, coaxing a few orgasms out of each other, not noticing the temperature cooling as Mick had fixed the air conditioner. By the time you were both spent, you were shivering. Len pulled you into him and kissed the top of your head. "Here, lemme go get your robe. Keep you warm until you wanna get dressed." Len said as he pulled his joggers on, commando underneath, he left and quickly returned with your favorite fluffy bathrobe and helped you into it before climbing into bed and scooping you towards him, nestling your face into his neck as he massaged circles into your hip and lower back.

[wereh0gz]

which oc of urs do u think would get along the best with fibula... personally i think he'd have the best first impression of ruby but only because he's fond of halloween monster-types. since, you know, he is one. her personality probably wouldn't gel with his antics though LOL

YEAH Ruby would not trust him at all. She'd probably be really weirded out by him too. It's not every day you meet a zombie. Also he'd smell weird to her. Like dead but also not really? And the sheer amount of Chaos energy inside him would probably be enough for her to smell too (she has a very sensitive nose) so he probably smells like. Irradiated to her lmao. Dark Gaia and Chaos energies don't mix well so it might just make her physically sick actually. Bad vibes all around. She keeps her distance

Melany and Max would stare at him weird. Not just bc he's a zombie but bc they can see his soul and it's probably Fucked Up. But it's like fucked up in a way they've never seen before so they're very curious. Also they're probably curious abt the whole zombie thing bc as far as they knew resurrection like that was just straight up impossible. I can see them (mostly Mel) asking a bunch of questions like excited little kittens (they like morbid stuff)

Nox would try to capture and disect him. Or try to inject him with Dark Gaia energy to see how it reacts to his body (it'd probably be Very Very Bad)

Livewire is chill as long as he doesn't hurt anyone close to them. They probably find him and his decapitation trick funny and would kick his head like a football if given the chance

Elysium would be. Quiet. It's not like it's very talkative in the first place but it recognizes Eggman's work when it sees it, and finds it hard to trust him (valid, considering he's actively working for Eggman and causing trouble). Would probably try to get Livewire to convince him to leave since it can't on its own. But ultimately it's Fib's choice and from what I know I think it'll take a lot more to convince him to switch sides

So in conclusion I think Livewire or the twins would be the best candidates for being friends with Fibula but he can potentially have very fun and interesting interactions with the others. Thank you for coming to my ted talk

[starres-stuff]

FFXIV Writes 2023 | Day 16 | Jerk

Dimitri meets the Conjurer who will be doing his woodsin cleansing, only to find out she may actually be a Shroud Witch.

“Watch Out!” A voice called from the path that led up to the Cottage, and it certainly wasn’t a familiar one, Dimitri realized as he jerked his neck and torso quickly away from where they originally were only to feel a sharp pain ignite in his neck and shoulder, moments before a branch fell from the largest tree in the yard and fell where he had been standing only moments earlier. Which caused him to flail and fall over himself.

“How did you..” Off his voice traveled as a small Miqo’te woman approached him, she had black hair with graying temples and glasses so large they took up most of her face; the basket hanging over her arm was stuffed to the brim and covered with a checkered cloth to keep everything including his eyes out. “Who are you?” he finally asked curiously, watching the woman as she came closer.

“Gotta watch out for those things, especially when you got the woodsin around you.” Her nose wiggled as she sniffed at him and she sneezed from what she caught there, her head shaking. “Have to be careful until we get you through that ritual. Names Xixa Loonsi, a friend of your Aunt Doshaine when she was alive. I am the one Viviane has sent to do your cleansing. Do you need my credentials too, Sonny? Or can we not worry about that? The Shroud is trying to kill you so the sooner we get that woodsin off of you, the less chance you have of ending up in a grave. Let’s go inside, I have some salve I can put on your neck so that muscle doesn’t seize up.” and off she padded towards the door without even offering him a hand up.

“Twelve of the women in my family have interesting friends.” He muttered to himself, finally getting up off the ground and following the Miqo’te up the stairs to the door. The interesting thing was the door just opened for her. There was no standing there all day, no slamming a fist into the wood repeatedly. There was just the door opening and her going inside, only for the damn thing to close right behind her before Dimitri could get in the door leaving him to stand out there yet again, begging the magic that secured the wards to let him in, and like usual they did not listen.

“Oi, you are a mess, Sonny,” Xixa called from the window, where she now leaned, eating an apple while watching him struggle with the door. “She warned me that you aren’t much of a believer just yet, but we’ll make one out of you. Now the first lesson I will give you, if it is made out of something born in the shroud it is filled with some form of Elemental Magic. Now keep in mind everything was exposed to the Calamity when it tore through here. The Elements are technically sleeping, well at least the big ones are. There are sprites everywhere and anywhere however that will make your life a living corner of one of the seven hells if you let them. Now with that out of the way. What Aethers are you skilled at?”

“Earth” Dimitri lied straight-faced, staring at the woman, who he now realized what the Shroud Witch Vi promised to send him. This caused him to grasp the handle on the door, and try to jerk it open, only to be met with a burst of aether that practically sat him on his rear on the front porch.

“I could have told you not to do that. I could also tell you not to spin your fibs with me either. I can see when a man lies, their tongue turns bright green and glows even in the darkest night!” A wide smile appeared on her face, showing off the cat-like fangs that occupied her mouth. What was even odder was that she just kept on staring at Dimitri as if she was waiting for something to happen.

Without thinking the Sharlayan stuck out his tongue, lifting his glasses to try and look down on it, practically admitting he had not only lied but was incredibly gullible at the same time. “Oh you are going to be a fun one, Sonny.” The Miqo’te cackled loudly. “You just gave yourself away. Now let’s try it again luv, what Aethers are you aligned to.”

Back into his mouth, his tongue went and he sighed dramatically. Nophica’s tits this was going to be a day, he could feel it already. “Earth is my preferred” he started again pushing himself to carry on “But I possess talents that come from the internal Chakras like a Monk and are largely unaspected aether that I infuse with an aether of my choice. The only known Aether I have no success with at all is the one termed Darkness. I have worked in every other one at various skills and levels since I was a child.” As soon as he got it all laid out, he heard the door handle click, and then the door opened on its own to welcome him in.

“I’ve got the mask! My boyfr.. My partner! Made it for me.” He said with a happy note in his voice. Just thinking of Laurent made him feel better, even when the rest of the world made him feel lost.”

“Today’s third lesson is the Elements can hear you, you just can’t hear them unless you are like me and a handful of others in the guild. Not every Conjurer is a Hearer and not every normal person isn’t. You don’t have to be in the Guild to hear them speak, but you likely don’t know what to do with the talent if you have it. That is lesson fifty or so we will worry about it then. Come in, let’s have tea” Disappearing from the window, the sound of the fire starting under a kettle of water could be heard echoing throughout the small main room before Dimitri even got inside.

“Try that again and with the truth,” Xaia said in a less than amused tone, looking suspiciously around the cottage as if she were waiting for something to try and fall on him again.

“My boyfriend! We don’t use titles.” Dimitri protested.

“Your mouth might not but your mind does. Have you asked him what he wants to be called?” She was beginning to sound like the cross of a Mother and a Teacher to him. Both of which were going to wear on his nerves before long, part of the process, but still uncomfortable as a grown Elezen.

“It is complicated. We’ve both been hurt. Things take time, you know.”

“Mmhmm.” Xaia agreed, “Ask him again.” and off she went to stand by the teapot leaving Dimitri to lower himself into the couch and look after her thoughtfully.

[anthonybialy]

Buffalo’s Frustration Levels with the Bills and Sabres

Letdowns hurt more the closer one gets.  That seems cruel because it is.  The fun part of life is presumably forthcoming.  Feeling crushed could be negated by ultimately succeeding, so forget it.  The Sabres and Bills disappoint on different levels.  Respective prototypical examples of shortcomings offer a chance to discover which version of failing spurs more torment.  Spare a thought for fans whose teams win championships, as jubilation doesn’t offer valuable life lessons.

Both teams exist to compete for championships.  Don’t laugh.  Okay: laugh a little.  It’s unfathomable to have one between the two even though they each get an annual chance.  Leagues award championships every season.  I just checked.

One is closer in the same sense Wegmans is classier than Tops.  The Bills offer a more dignified experience while the Sabres employ service desk representatives who’ll throw a bag of chips at you.  Like the difference between Cup contenders and Buffalo’s pro hockey team, it’s a gap so vast that it’s difficult to perceive from one vantage point.  The status of each might surprise Buck Rogers if he had been frozen from 2006 until now.  The Saints and Seahawks have each won one just like Vegas has at hockey.  Okay: let’s start at the beginning.

The runner-up could still drop.  Take how Dr Pepper just overtook Pepsi as America’s second-most popular sodie pop brand.  As with the unpalatable option that’s never okay, the Sabres are as arrogant as they are inept.  Asking the Bandits how to achieve must feel undignified.  It’s not to discount the successful lacrosse division.  But the two older pro teams are either holding a parade or not.  They can’t sort-of have one.

Similarly, you have a supreme banner or you don’t.  Results are binary.  The net result is that neither has done it all even if one has better betting odds to the degree they sound like mathematical errors.  One couldn’t rightfully say the Sabres are as successful as the Bills because neither has brought athletic fulfillment to fans.  The light switch is off either way.

The fact followers rely upon their teams to feel happy is sad to ponder, so we better just avoid such thoughts.  The absurdity of cheering for other to be better at moving the object makes the inability to succeed feel even more frustrating.  Trying to see that things can work out at least once just for the precedent is a sign of accepting what’s out of our control.

Following sports can make sense in a silly sense.  Liking the competitions themselves is valid in a vicarious way.  The games also seem to summarize life, which is not precisely a compliment about our stupid world.  We just want bounces our way.

The chance to engineer probabilities means results are not simply fate, which team employees hope nobody notices.  Decisions made during games and about who’s available affect what’s next.  We’re relying upon other humans to bring us athletic happiness.  If one of them is Kevyn Adams, we’re screwed.

Keep your story straight.  Announcing trophies are out for cleaning conflicts with claiming they were wiped out in the big trophy fire.  Many other clubs don’t need to fib.  The shortcomings of these two examples are throughly documented to the point we don’t need another review, which sadly reflects a semipermanently unchanging position.

Buffalo fans turn philosophical by necessity.  It’s psychologically obvious to cope by feeling we’re being taught about life’s inherent aching.  It’s not a particularly pleasant situation.  But it is useful.

People who waste their lives on different pastimes than sports bitch that chasing an object is pointless.  Of course they’re right.  But they miss the broader point that so is everything else.  Buffalo’s teams often seems to uncannily reflect how our hours here go.  The toughest time for the Bills came as the area’s two steel mills shuttered.  Now, potential gets wasted in an unnerving reflection of an area that took money from taxpayers to fund a multibillionaire’s business expenses.  It’s a real mystery why this market stays small.

The real ice and fake grass athletes share common ground.  They’re both based in or near Buffalo, have the same miserly owner, and chase titles that may as well be imaginary.  The thought that neither will ever be able to do so informs our understanding of this universe in a way philosophers dream of communicating.

It’s better to get closer aside from how thinking your dream will finally come into being is what destroys you.  The football side is more heartbreaking by being less disappointing.  Hope sustains as it crushes.  Sabres fans who’ve checked out by Thanksgiving can enjoy phone time while occasionally glancing at games.  Meanwhile, Bills fans into it past the new year only to be crushed close to Valentine’s know what love really does to those infected.

Victims of Buffalo sports find that we must be patient, and not just in the four-car Mighty Taco drive-thru sense.  The source is irrelevant whether we’re on the schedule of an omniscient power or if we inhabit a plane consisting of a random series of events that only seems designed to harm.  This world indifferently disregards human timing, which is why we’re presently not watching sports.

Letdowns are not assigned by fate.  I regret to inform people equipped with free will that we’re destined by our actions, or at least those of executives in teams to which we’re bound to follow.  The three alleged cursed baseball franchises throughout much of last century uncannily each had a combination of awful ownership and charming old-timey ballparks which hinder consistent play.  Neither the Sabres nor Bills can blame quirky playing surface angles, which means they must be inflicting semipermanent agony upon themselves.  Varying levels of downfall add variety without surprise.

[harryglass]

Edward Evans (You dig?)

Part One He never does what he is told! Edward Evans, 10 years old In bed one night, said: “I insist I’ll be an archaeologist. I’ll dig for buildings, dig for gold Be rich at only 10 years old! I’ve got a spade, I’ve got a tent– I’ll find lost cities! Excellent!” At half past midnight, off he went! Found a spot to pitch his tent, Raised the spade, switched on a light, And scraped, and scratched, and dug all night. “I’ll dig for buildings, dig for gold, Be rich at only 10 years old! Ah-ha! What’s this? My spade has bent! I’ve found a city! Excellent!” “A city’s been here all along!” But Edward didn’t smile for long. “It’s not a city?” (There’s a shock) In fact it’s just a strange-shaped rock. He used his spade and chipped away Then whispered: “Woaahhh!” for there it lay– No city sprawled at great extent; Just one pale bone…“Excellent!” He never does what he is told! Edward Evans, 10 years old Delicately brushed away The dirt and stones, and yelled: “Hooray! A skeleton, from toes to jaw... A fossilised dinosaur!” Which kind? The tiny forearms meant… “Tyrannosaurus Rex-cellent!” At that, the skeleton sprang up! It stood there like a well-trained pup And wagged its bony tail, and said: “You spoke the magic code word, Ed! I am 65 million years old And I’ve learnt to do as I am told For one whole day – and then I’m spent.” Edward shouted: “Excellent!” To school next day he marched his prize– His friends could not believe their eyes. Edward said: “Let’s have some fun– Bite the teacher on the bum!” The fossil crept, the children beamed– It bit his bum – the teacher screamed! It went wherever Edward went. “Wow!” kids shouted, “Excellent!” It pinned the bully to the floor It scared the scary dog next door It roared and stamped along the streets Till shops gave Edward bags of sweets. His parents went to bed in shock So Ed watched films till 12 o’clock. It went to sleep when Edward went: “Tyrannosaurus Rex-cellent!”

Part Two Edward’s sweet and pleasant dreams Were shattered when he heard some screams; He woke to hear his mother shout: “You bony little creep, get OUT!” The fossil (65 million years old) No longer did what it was told. It saw the cat and followed it And opened wide and swallowed it. The cat was fine, I tell no fibs– The cat jumped out, between its ribs! At that, the skeleton looked up: “I need some more to fill me up!” Away it clattered, through the door, Eating everything it saw– It ate the neighbours, stuffed its snout! But every neighbour fell straight out. “I did behave for one whole day But now I won’t! I’ll hunt for prey! No meals for 65 million years– These children taste so good, the dears! And all their fluffy doggies too! Their bikes are tough and hard to chew But Granny’s soft, all wrapped in wool!” It ate her up and wasn’t full. Edward Evans, 10 years old Commanded: “Do as you are told! Stop eating! Naughty dinosaur! Put that baby down! NO MORE!” But it wagged its bony tail, and said: “You’ll need the magic code word, Ed!” The baby looked at Ed and blinked. The fossil opened wide, and winked… Edward Evans did lament That nothing had been excellent Since fossil dino stopped behaving– Edward felt like ranting, raving. It wagged its bony tail, and said: “So what’s the magic code word, Ed?” Ed yelled: “WAIT! That's it!” (He winked) “Tyrannosaurus, you’re Rex-tinct!” It stood quite still, from jaw to toes– The spell had worked! The fossil froze! Edward promised: “I insist I’ll be a palaeontologist! And now I’ve learnt, at 10 years old It’s nice to do what you are told. I dig it now! 100 per cent!” Edward Evans! Excellent!

[blankticket]

Props to Meryl for not being annoyed at having to catch the giraffe while juggling all the other stuff—(whoops)! That was a definite oversight, one that makes Vash give an apologetic smile. The following questions are fun just to hear! The pacifist's enthusiasm comes back in his voice at full-force.

"Ah, the other Wards have their own thing going on, n'there's out-of-Ward 'branches' around, too. Fib is closest to what we have going on at Noman's Land, 'cept a lot more vertical. Cotes is like being in a fairy tale, Golden's a crowded non-stop party of lights. "Think I've been mugged the most in Golden…? But everyone knows how t'have fun there! Oh, n'I haven't been t'all the branches just yet, but so far the Sky-Strewn Isles made me think the most of the geodome, if you liked that.

"The bulk of folks n'critters in Spirale're native to this place. But others like us from elsewhere tend to bump into each other pretty often, despite that. Dunno what it is, like an internal compass or something? Vash n'I met in a bakery soon after I arrived."

Gears click in his head. Uh-oh, he's been given the power to ruin first impressions of someone he really liked to tease.

"Other Vash is sooo old n'sooo wrinkled. Losin' teeth and hair the more I see him. Stinks, also. You can see the stink lines right above his head—pfffhhahahahah—" Okay, so he can't keep the bit up with a straight face, after all. "Sorry, sorry. Don't write that down, I'm kidding. Heheh! "Felt pretty unreal t'meet him. Still does, some ways. Anything about him you'd like t'know before you bump into him, yourself?"

He didn't want to spoil all the fun. And given how things were in Spirale, the meet-up was inevitable!

➥ Vash reads her anxieties about the situation instantly, which should be less of a surprise than it is; she's seen him do it to others before. It's a reassurance, even though she feels a little bit like she's not the one who should need it. "Yeah," she says sheepishly. "I don't want to stress you out with how much's happened. But we should definitely talk later!"

Meryl similarly fumbles the catch of the giraffe, nearly sending her new notebook and pen and dragonfly figurine flying, arms careening as she tries to keep her balance. But — success! She heads over to the pen section she'd only briefly visited as they entered — there are so many types and colors to choose from. Her newly-acquired cash is going to be in danger if they stay here too much longer, but ... a few other colors is necessary, right? She thinks up some new questions as she examines the rows and rows of writing utensils.

"What's the rest of the city like? Is it all as nice as Archimedes is? Is everyone here like us where they come from somewhere else? What was it like, meeting the other Vash?"

Okay, one of those questions is personal curiosity rather than information-gathering, but sue her.