#just something fairly short n snappy

[curiovser-blog]

DATE & TIME: June 15th LOCATION: The Ferris Wheel STATUS: Open

The wheel went up and down. The twister spun from side to side. The mirrors lied. People lost at games they knew were rigged. It was the way the carnival had always been, how life had always been. But call it instinct or delusion, but Alice could taste something distinct about tonight, a bitterness on the edge of her tongue. Or maybe you’re just hungry, a doubtful voice interjected, ruining her thought process. 

Maybe that was true. But food could come later - for now, she had work to do.

Work and play. For Alice, they were one and the same - driven by passion and a longing, nay hunger, to know. Tonight wasn’t about the big picture stuff. Tonight was about the people - how they saw Hermosa, how Maurice’s disappearance had effected them. Withdrawing her phone from her pocket, she set it to record, eyes gleaming as she moved to stop the first person in her path.“Hey! Think you could spare a couple of minutes to answer a few questions?”

[aloneinthehellfire]

Chapter 1: Flickering Lights

Raining Hellfire Series | Season One

Word Count: 6525 words.

Warnings: Swearing, flashbacks to past trauma, bad relationship with biological parents, Will's disappearance (let me know if I missed anything!), + fairly decent writing if you pretend it is

[A/N: I can't blame you if you find this hard to read, my terrible writing + a high word count would make anyone suffer. But, if you do read all of this chapter, I hope you like it :) Also much more Eddie content to come it's hard putting Eddie into the story when he wasn't introduced until Season 4]

Flickering Lights

What did you do?

Oh my god Y/n

WHAT DID YOU DO???

You wake up with a pounding heart, sweat soaking the bed. It had been a while since you had that dream.

The alarm clock on your bedside table read 8pm, meaning your well-thought out ‘power nap’ has lasted 8 hours. All the sleepless nights you spent studying seemed to have caught up with you.

“Fireball him!”

Your head spins to your window, noticing that you had left it open before sleeping. Bed creaking, you walk over, grabbing at the handle while hearing the busy chatter of young boys.

Living next to the Wheelers’ house meant that you had your very own commentary of the events that unfolded in the basement. Mike and his friends usually played D&D down there, something you never knew existed until you moved to Hawkins and got to know the family next door.

Mike’s friends were as annoying as they were loud, happily interrupting your day as you came home to drone on about their campaigns. Personally, you didn’t truly mind. While you’d rather walk into your uncle’s house in peace, it was sweet that they saw you as someone they could talk to. All because you and Nancy had grown close over the past 2 years.

You thought being the new Freshman in Hawkins’ High School would at least give you a fighting chance. Until you learnt that everyone already knew eachother since they had grown up there, and you felt just as lonely as you looked. Nancy being assigned as your tour guide was blessing sent from the big man himself, she not only showed you around but began inviting you to lunch with her friend Barb. Admittedly, it was probably out of pity at first but after you got to know eachother, there was an instant connection.

You count yourself lucky to live next door to a family that welcomes you as if you were one of their own.

Slamming the window shut, you quickly adjust your look in the mirror. Even though you had been here two years, your room was still pretty bare. You hadn’t taken much with you in the first place, leaving most of your things in California since you left so quickly. There wasn’t much reason for you to decorate. Your plans to leave as soon as you graduate were set in stone. No matter how long you stay here, it isn’t ever going to feel like home.

You make your way into the living room, noticing the beer bottles that had been abandoned on the kitchen counter as you walked past.

You live here with your uncle, an arrangement your parents had made since the event. It’s not that you hated your uncle, but you certainly didn’t like him. You understood how inconvenient it all must have been, especially since your aunt had died three months prior to your arrival. But rather than just talk, he liked to drink. A lot. So did your mother in all fairness, so it must run in the family.

The living room was filled with pictures of your aunt. Mostly from when she was younger but your uncle loved taking photos when she was alive, taking any opportunity to snap a picture when he thought she looked beautiful. It was something that was quite bittersweet now. Even the chair that sits untouched in the corner as if it is waiting for its owner to return. Bittersweet.

A note was stuck to the dining table.

‘Out with a few people from work. Try not to get into trouble.’

You sigh. It wasn’t an uncommon note for him to write. The notes he left were always short and snappy and always left out any possibility for you feeding yourself.

Grabbing the note and ripping it in half, you venture into the kitchen, swiftly grabbing the bottles to take with you as you exited through the back door toward the metal trash-cans. The air was much colder than you realised as it attacked your bare legs. Clearly this wasn’t the weather for comfy shorts.

The sudden sensation caused you to drop a bottle, smashing as soon as it hit the concrete.

“Fuck.” You whispered, knowing that there was no way you would be able to pick up every piece.

“Need some help there?”

You brought your gaze to the young boy who was now staring at you with a goofy grin, clearly amused at your impromptu balancing act.

“Oh hey, Dustin.” You said casually, as if your arm wasn’t cramping from the awkward position.

Without a word he takes a few bottles from your hand to help you straighten up, you both discarding the bottles before turning back to eachother.

“Thanks.” You chuckle, staring down at him. There was a pretty big height difference between you two, but that was expected for a 16 and 12 year old.

“Anytime, Y/n. You know you’re my favourite Wheeler.” His smile was too precious.

“You realise I’m not actually- wait. What about Nancy?”

Yes, there was Mike but him and Nancy always had a special bond.

He begins walking back around to the Wheeler house, curiosity leading you with him. He brought you to join his friends, silently pointing at Nancy’s window. Looking up, you could see her stood by it and facing her room with a phone in her hand.

“Ah yes, she uses a phone. She must be the devil.” You mock, earning a small giggle from Will.

Dustin ignores your comment, turning to Mike instead.

“There’s something wrong with your sister.”

“What are you talking about?” Mike questions, helping Will with his bike before walking over to join you.

“She’s got a stick up her butt.”

“Yeah. It's because she's been dating that douchebag, Steve Harrington.” Lucas chimes in, shaking his head in disgust.

You look back up to her window, seeing her twirl her hair. You knew she was talking to Barb but it was undeniable that she was talking about Steve.

“So she’s dating ‘The Hair’... I don’t think that qualifies her as a jerk.”

“Yes it does!” Lucas replied quickly.

“Yeah, she's turning into a real jerk.” Dustin said solemnly, Mike adding that she had always been a jerk.

“Nuh-uh, she used to be cool.” He said defensively, grabbing his bike. “Like when she and Y/n dressed up as elves for our Elder Tree campaign!”

“Hey! Don’t go spreading that around. And if anyone asks, Nancy did that long before I did.” You really didn’t need him blabbering about something you did two years ago.

“She didn’t even accept the pizza slice, Y/n. Who would do something like that?” Dustin stared at you. It was pretty clear that Nancy’s recent behaviour has left him disheartened.

“Only a true monster.” You said shaking your head and grabbing your heart dramatically before faking a faint. The eruption of giggles meant you had succeeded in cheering them up.

Dustin gave you his signature toothless smile and you ruffled his curly hair before they all said goodbye and rode off. Will and Mike still behind but talking to one another so you thought it best to just go back inside.

After kick-brushing the shards of glass towards the bin (you’d deal with it tomorrow morning), you stepped onto the small porch of your back door and swung the door open. You heard Will’s goodbye and the sound of pedals before the porch light began flickering.

Great, you thought, I guess I have to fix that too.

“So did he call?”

“Keep your voice down.”

You were stood by your locker with Nancy and Barb. You had no idea how you got to that conversation but clearly they preferred the topic of boys much more than you did.

“I told you, it's not like that. Okay, I mean, yes, he likes me, but not like that. We just made out a couple times.” Nancy says with a lovesick look in her eyes.

You groaned, placing your head on your locker. Your so-called ‘nap’ meant you hadn’t slept more than 2 hours last night and you were starting to feel the consequences hammering in your head. Barb, however, took your groan as a different meaning.

“‘We just made out a couple times’,” Barb mimics Nancy’s voice before returning to a serious tone, “Nance, seriously, you're gonna be so cool now, it's ridiculous. Even Y/n agrees with me.”

“No, I'm not. And Y/n just doesn’t like Steve.” She replies, sending a satire glare your way. It’s not false; you did like to fantasise about Steve’s reaction to waking up bald one day. But seeing how much your friend liked him meant you had to be nice.

“It’s not him necessarily. It’s those friends of his.” You say, shuddering as if the thought was disgusting. Truth is, you and Steve used to be good friends in Freshman year until he started hanging out with Ken and Barbie.

“You better still hang out with me and Y/n, that's all I'm saying. If you become friends with Tommy H. or Carol -” Barb says.

“Oh, that's gross! Okay, I'm telling you, it was a one-time... Two-time thing.” Nancy defends herself, opening her locker to find a note. You read it immediately and groaned again.

“As much as I love talking about someone who thinks there’s no such thing as too much hairspray… I need to get to class.” You slam your locker shut, saying quick goodbyes as you walked off.

Class didn’t start for another 5 minutes but truthfully, the conversation was boring you. Sure, you’ve talked about boys before. Plenty of times. But it never felt the same as when you were 13.

“Oh my god Y/n, did he, like, kiss you?” Your best friend asked, her voice squeaking slightly at the word.

“Ew, no. Well, not yet anyway.” You said, leaning back nonchalantly. In actual fact, you were screaming inside.

“Well when you do, I want to be the first to know. Your first kiss is a big deal and I’m lonely so let me live through you.” She giggles, bumping your shoulder.

“Who else would I even tell?”

You hadn’t thought about that night in a long time. You stop and take a breath. To think that the year only went downhill from there.

Shrugging off the thought, you quicken your pace, turning the corner at such a fast pace that anyone coming the other way would surely collide with you.

Which is exactly what happened.

“OW!” A loud, slightly higher pitched voice rung out as your forehead most certainly hit theirs. The force was powerful enough to send you backwards, sending your books to the floor and scattering the pages that you had hoped would stay tucked into them.

“I’m so so so sorry.” You said hurriedly, wincing as you grabbed your head. That was gonna bruise.

“Well yeah I should hope-”

The voice stopped for a second and you removed the hand from you head to get a better view. And immediately, you blushed.

Before you was a boy, which normally wouldn’t phase you but this boy looked… cool. His clothes, first of all, were incredibly cool. All black with a long sleeve shirt that read ‘WELCOME TO HELL’ in bold red letters, hidden beneath a black jacket. And then his hair was just… wow. It was messy, but the good kind. It fell to his shoulders but was layered so it made it fluffier. Lastly, his left hand held three chunky rings, designs that you couldn’t very well due to the aching in your forehead. That very hand was now held out to you as he looked upon you with concern written on his face. He was just, well, beautiful.

All that staring at him caused you to become temporarily deaf.

“Helloooo?” He sang, waving his hand to get your attention. He most certainly already had it.

“Sorry?” You said, blushing even harder. What was happening.

“I asked if you were alright.” He smiled. God, you loved that smile.

“I, uh, yeah. Well, um, yes.” You rambled, attempting to pick up your books before you embarrassed yourself any further. You needed to get it together.

“As long as you’re sure.” He laughed, handing you a book.

Both of you slowly stood with you attempting to shuffle your books into a more comfortable manner. Why did you leave your bag in your locker? Ugh. When you looked back up at him, you opened your mouth but found you had nothing to say. Why was your brain just malfunctioning?

“Look-” You began, ready to apologise again and again. You didn’t want to make an enemy.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” He cut you off, crossing his arms.

“What?”

“I get it. Avoid the freak or you’ll be thrown from your little group.”

“I… what?” Confusion was setting in.

He leaned in, looking around the hallway before speaking.

“I get that you and the other clearly superior beings don’t like people like me or, well, just me. And seeing as I’ve never seen you around before, I will spare you the traumatising experience of having to admit that you and I bumped heads.” His voice had changed along with his demeanour. You were seriously missing that smile now.

“I’m not with them.” You were shaking your head now, and his eyes fell to your journal.

“Ah. Y/n. I’ve heard quite a few rumours about you.”

“What?” There were rumours?

“Hm. Yeah, you’re the one that’s trying to fit in with all the other pricks in here because you didn’t make it at your last school. So please, don’t use me as your way to prove your shallow heart to your glorious leaders.” He took a step back, clearly waiting for you to throw an insult his way.

Your heart sunk. You knew he had to have a good reason to hate them, the same way you did too. But you definitely weren’t expecting him to speak to you like that. You were wrong about him, the same way he is completely wrong about you. He was just like every other boy.

“Fuck you.” You said, barging past him, trying not to notice the way his eyes widened. You think you heard him say something but you just needed to find a bathroom fast. Tears were threatening to spill. It’s not what he said, but the mention of your last school tore at something inside you. Pain. Anger. Regret.

You burst into the first bathroom you found, closing and leaning on the door while trying to will the tears away. You needed to get your emotions under control. You let out a sigh before you heard giggling erupt from the other corner of the room. Pulling your focus towards them, your breath hitched. You’d notice that hair anywhere.

“Y/n, hey.” Nancy’s voice rang out. It was nice of her to pull her lips away from Hawkins’ very own playboy for two seconds just to talk to you. You tried not to notice the way her face was flushed.

“Hi.” Steve said, sliding his arm around Nancy’s shoulder.

You stared at them before realising the situation.

“Gross.” You plainly said, turning around and swinging the door back open. Nancy noticed your teary eyes and stepped away from Steve to look at you with worry.

“Wait, are you okay?” She asked.

“Never been better.” You muttered. Not wanting to stick around longer you quickly exited and made your way to class.

As much as you liked Nancy, it was none of her business.

Photography was something that you discovered a passion for in Hawkins. While living in California would have provided you with so many amazing photo possibilities, Hawkins just felt different. It was quieter. You found so much beauty in that. So when the opportunity of taking a photography class was presented to you, you took it.

Most days your teacher would let his class experiment with the school supplied cameras, something you loved since you didn’t have the money to buy your own. You desperately needed a job but nowhere would take you, mostly because you were only 16.

You sat next to Jonathan, watching him shift around with the focus on his camera. You liked Jonathan, he wasn’t like the others at Hawkins. In fact, it seemed he was the only male here who didn’t make you want to rip your hair out. He was most definitely shy, usually stuck in his own world. For the first year you knew him, he had barely uttered two sentences to you. But now he was a lot more comfortable with you. He was a friend.

“Taken any new photos lately?” You asked, resting your chin on your hand.

“A few. Nothing worth adding to my project though.” He said quietly before a satisfied hum sounded; he had set the camera to his liking.

Your teacher had given us a project that he, to your dislike, had named ‘Happiness’. You were instructed to take photos of what makes you happy, hoping you would dig deeper and create more meaningful pieces. The minimum amount of photos was twenty. You didn’t even have one.

“You wanna borrow my camera tonight?” He turned his eyes to your direction, raising his brow.

“Uh… no, no. It’s fine. I don’t really know what I’d want to shoot yet anyway.” Shaking your head and flipping through the textbook in front of you.

“You know you need to start sometime. Even if it’s just something small. Like a favourite place of yours, or even a person.” He says, bumping your shoulders with a knowing look.

He knew you were struggling with this. It wasn’t that you couldn’t take great photos, because you were amazing at it, but happy things just weren’t your expertise.

“I’ll think about it. So… you up to anything tonight?” You look at him, begging to change the subject.

He just shrugged, making notes in his book before putting his pencil down and turning his body to face yours.

“Have you seen Will lately?”

The question caught you by surprise. Was something wrong with Will?

“Yeah, I saw him last night when he was at the Wheelers.”

“Did you see him leave?”

“I remember he rode off with Dustin and Lucas but that’s about it.” You began to feel your stomach twist. Something was clearly wrong.

“Okay, thanks.” He said, rubbing his face.

“Is everything okay?”

He looked at you, eyebrows scrunching together before he shook his head and continued fiddling around with his camera.

“He just-” He said after a while, setting his camera back down, “He just didn’t come home last night. And I was working when I shouldn’t have been but my mum needs the extra cash right now and I know I should have been there to make sure but-”

“Hey, hey,” You placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him down, “He might have just stayed the night as Dustin’s or something and forgot to call.”

You knew it was an empty gesture, you had a bad feeling that you just couldn’t shake. You hoped that by convincing Jonathan he was fine, you’d convince yourself.

Will was a quiet kid, much like his brother, but you’ve seen the way he talks about his friends. When you first met he usually let the other kids take the lead in talking to you but as soon as you asked what D&D was about, you saw his face light up. Usually you would be bored half to death, but seeing how happy it made him, you became invested. You began to feel protective of him, of all of them. You don’t know what you’d do without them.

“I hope so.” He said in a small voice before the bell rang out. He grabbed his stuff, saying how he needed to get home. Understandable. You just wished that Will would be home when he got there.

Every day, after the last bell has rung, you would make your way to the benches that sat just behind the school, further up the field. It was usually an empty area where you could sit and listen to music without being disturbed. Somewhere you could think while not thinking at all. You were meant to meet Nancy for a study date later but it still gave you two hours to yourself.

Grabbing your Walkman, a tape already set in its slot, you placed the headphones over your ears and pressed play, laying on your back so that your legs hung off the edge of the picnic bench.

I hear the ticking of the clock

I’m lying here, the room’s pitch dark

I wonder where you are tonight

“Hello?”

No answer on the telephone

“Yoo-hoo?”

And the night goes by so very-

“What the hell?” The headphones were suddenly yanked away from you, causing you to squint against the sun at the figure that stood over you. You sat up straight and prepared to take back your headphones.

“Sorry, I did say hello but your music was too loud- wait, what even is this?”

“None of your business.” You say, snatching the headphones from their hands. The rings glinted in the sunlight, catching your eye. You recognised those rings. Oh shit.

“Keeping it to yourself. That’s cool, very mysterious.” He said with a chuckle.

It was him, the guy you had bumped into earlier. Even now, after a long day at school, he looked incredible- No. He may look like a god but he still insulted you.

“What do you want?” You ask defensively, a glint of anger in your voice as you remembered past events. Making sure to stop the tape, you clutched your Walkman before stuffing it back in your bag. So much for having some time to yourself.

“Hey!” He said, waving his arms to stop what you were doing, “I just wanted to talk. About earlier.”

He crossed his arms against his torso, looking at the ground. He looked shy all of a sudden. He then took your silence as an opportunity to speak.

“I didn’t mean to be dick to you. Or insult you. I just…” He paused, walking around the space as he thought of what to say, “I get pretty guarded when I speak to someone. You spend so long as ‘The Freak’ that you get used to being treated like ass and I wasn’t in the mood for it today.”

“I-” You began, setting your bag down.

“No, I was an idiot and I insulted you. Which wasn’t cool of me at all, I don’t even know you and I was just as much of a judgemental asshole as the rest of them so I’m so very, very, sorry.”

You weren’t expecting this at all. In all honesty, you would have probably forgotten about the meeting in a few hours time. Words were stuck in your throat and you just blurted out the first thing in your mind.

“I like your rings.”

He looks at you in surprise and you feel the colour rushing to your cheeks. Why the hell did I say that?

“Sorry, I just didn’t know what to say and I didn’t want there to be this awkward silence because, like, the more awkward it gets the more I want to be silent but then that just makes it more awkward and I… I was rambling wasn’t I?” You clock his amused grin that spread across his face, creating the most precious crinkles you have ever seen.

“No, no it’s fine, it was cute.” He blurted. It was now his turn to turn red. He laughed weirdly, obviously embarrassed of his own remark.

“I’m sorry too. That’s what I wanted to say… that I was sorry. I get it, the whole people treating you like shit thing. I get that too. I can’t blame you for defending yourself. I just… is that really what people say about me?”

“Huh?” He shifted his gaze from your lips to your eyes.

“That thing you said, about the rumour. Do people really say that?” You quieten. You’ve been here two years now and you didn’t even begin to think what people were saying behind your back.

“No, no, no… well, not exactly.” He quickly sat down next to you on the bench top, placing his hands lazily on his lap, messing around with his rings. Why does he only have rings on his left hand?

“What do they say?” When he stays silent you enquire further, “Seriously tell me. At least if I know I can prepare myself for when Tommy and his band of walking cliches come for me.”

“I haven’t heard much,” He finally says, tilting his head towards you, “But I heard people say all sorts of crazy stuff when you first appeared. Something about you being sent away because your parents didn’t want you. And one about you only being friends with that Wheeler girl because you wanted in to the hoard of wannabes.” He said so matter of factly as if he didn’t believe it’s true.

“Oh.” That’s all you say. You had to admit, that stung.

“I don’t believe them!” He raises both his hands as if he had just been caught by the cops.

“No, don’t worry it’s… fine. At least I know now.” You quickly added. You weren’t a wannabe, but the first part was true.

“Anyway,” He said, “I never got to formally introduce myself when I made the most awful first impression in the world.”

He gets up to stand in front of you, bowing so theatrically that you began to giggle.

“Eddie Munson, at your service.” As he straightened up, his hair whipped behind him and he extended a hand, “And you are?”

“You already know my name.” You laughed, shaking your head.

“Shh, pretend I don’t, I’m trying something here.”

“Okay, I’m Y/n, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Eddie.” You take his hand, trying to ignore how the brush of his skin made your heart flutter.

“Pleasure is all mine, Y/n.” He pretended to kiss your hand before gently dropping it and sitting on the grass in front of you, stretching his legs and using his arms to prop himself up.

“No last name there Y/n?” He asked.

“Not something I use very often. I’m thinking of dropping it completely, like Madonna or Prince.” It’s true. You never say your surname out loud. You weren’t even sure you were allowed to after that look your parents had given you that night.

“I like it, make a statement.” He nodded, he obviously noticed how uncomfortable the mention of your family surname made you.

“Exactly.”

You both talked for a while, mostly about school and how much you both disliked Harrington and his gang, laughing at eachother’s jokes until there was a moment of silence. Not awkward just… peaceful. You were looking into the distance, noticing the young boys you knew were riding their bikes past the front field. There were only three of them.

Remembering what Jonathan had told you suddenly brought you back to reality. As you looked back at Eddie, you saw he was already staring at you, a soft smile on his face.

“What time is it?” You asked, looking at the watch on his wrist, attempting to hide your own smile at his own but failing immediately.

“It’s about… 5.” He said nodding in agreement with himself.

“Oh shit I’m late!” You started grabbing you bag, hopping off the bench and turning to look at Eddie who was already stood next to you.

“For what?” He questioned, closing the space between you both as he looked down into your eyes. You couldn’t deny the warm feeling in your chest.

“I was meant to be meeting Nancy to study like 20 minutes ago! My god, I think she might actually kill me.” It was true, Nancy was very serious when it came to studies.

“Ah well, that sounds… fun.” He smiled, leaning against the bench.

“Yeah I can’t wait for her to scream at me about hydrogen atoms.” You laugh, adjusting your backpack. Thank god you decided to ride your bike in today. You had your drivers license but you were missing a key part; a car.

“Thank you,” You said, turning around, “for coming to apologise. I’m glad you did.”

“Me too.” He smiled again, grabbing part of his hair to cover his cheek, “Now go, I would hate to find that you were brutally murdered by a science book.”

You laughed, saying a quick goodbye and sprinting toward your bike. Maybe he was better than you thought.

Your recent high had been shattered when you made it to the Wheeler house.

Karen had opened the door, welcoming you in and letting you know that Nancy was in the dining room with everyone else. As you both walked through, you could hear Mike’s raised voice as he complained about having to stay in.

“We’ve been over this. The chief said-” Karen said, sighing as if they had been having this conversation long before you arrived.

“I don’t care what the chief said.” He snapped, both of his hands on the table.

“Michael!”

As they continued to argue, you made your way to Nancy, smiling with raised eyebrows at the quarrel before you. She just shook her head in disappointment, smiling back as you took a seat next to her.

“Will could be in danger!”

“Wait, what?” Your attention now completely focused on the dark haired boy, “What happened?”

“He went missing, they found his bike on the side of the road today. He hadn’t made it home last night.” Karen answered solemnly. Your heart sank, so many scenarios running through your head.

“They’ll find him.” Mr. Wheeler said in monotone. He was clearly more interested in his paper than the conversation.

“More reason to stay put.” Karen chimed. She was clearly just trying to protect her child.

“Mom! I don’t see Y/n staying home!” Mike whined. You glared at him. Why did he have to bring you into this?

“Y/n lives next door, it’s not like she’s riding out in the dark. End of discussion.” His mother demanded, finalising their argument by taking a sip of her water.

“So… Y/n and I were gonna study for the chemistry test at Barb’s house tonight. That’s cool right?” Nancy spoke, looking at you to agree with her. This was news to you but you nodded along nonetheless.

“No, not cool.” Karen said, spinning around to face you.

“What? Why not?”

“Why do you think? Am I speaking Chinese in this house? Until we know Will is okay, no one leaves.”

You chose to stay silent. You knew Nancy didn’t want to leave just to study at Barb’s house.

“So we’re under house arrest?”

“Don’t be dramatic Nancy.”

“This is such bullshit.”

“Language!”

You zoned out of the conversation, your thoughts drifting to Will. You had possibly the nicest time of your years here talking to Eddie while at the same time, Will had been missing. He could be all alone and afraid. And you told Jonathan that he was okay.

“You’re just pissed because you wanna hang out with Steve.”

That caught your attention. Of course this had to do with Steve. Nancy looked at you with an expression you couldn’t quite read, yelling at her Mike for spilling her secret. You came here to study with your friend and she was just going to ditch you for her new boy toy. Rude.

“You’re such a douche, Mike!” She screamed, shoving out of her chair and storming off to her room.

“I… should go with her.” You mumbled as you stood up and left. You didn’t want to stick around much longer.

When you entered Nancy’s room, she was sat on her bed with the phone that she must have grabbed along the way. You silently sat on the edge of her bed, setting your bag down on the floor and taking your shoes off.

“Yeah, sorry, we’ll meet up another time… okay. Bye.” She hung up and placed the phone on her night stand, sighing.

“Steve?” It wasn’t really a question, you knew she wasn’t talking to Barb.

“Yeah… I’m really sorry. He asked me to meet up with him tonight and I couldn’t find you at the end of school to tell you.” She gave an apologetic smile. “But I guess that doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Your mom is just scared. Will is literally missing. I can’t even imagine how Joyce is feeling let alone your mom.” It was a heartbreaking thought, knowing Joyce and Jonathan were having to deal with all this right now.

“I know, you’re right. Mike just gets me worked up sometimes. I mean, can you believe he just blurted about Steve like that?”

“It was uncalled for, I guess.” You chuckled as Nancy grabbed her cards and held them out to you.

The night went smoothly. You still worried about Will but trusted that the sheriff would find him soon. As you quizzed Nancy, the images of a familiar smile filled your mind. You just couldn’t get Eddie out of your head. Clearly it was written all over your face when Nancy tilted her head laughing.

“What’s that smile for?”

“What? Nothing. I just… really love Chemistry.” A failed attempt at misdirection.

“Shut up, you’re thinking about a boy.”

“How did you-”

She just raised her eyebrows.

“That obvious, huh?” You might be able to keep in words but your face always gave you away.

“Well, tell me! Who is he?” She squealed, excited that you may have met someone.

Before you could answer, there was a tapping noise at the open window, causing both of you to jump and scatter the cards everywhere.

“Yeah, who is he?” Steve said in a high-pitched voice, clearly mocking you both.

“Steve!” Nancy made her way to the window. You just stayed sat on the bed.

Yay..., you thought while rolling your eyes, it’s Steve.

“What are you doing here? I told you I would have to stay in tonight-”

“I know. We’ll study here.”

“No, I told you, absolutely not, go away-”

Yes, please go away Steve.

“I don’t want you to fail tomorrow.” He interrupts, flashing his signature smile. You didn’t think it was possible to roll your eyes harder.

Despite her earlier protests, she opened her window further, allowing him access. He climbed through, landing softly on his feet. You would be impressed if you weren’t aware that he has snuck into many girls’ windows before. What a gentleman.

“What did I tell you? A ninja.” He was clearly referencing an inside joke you didn’t know.

You began putting your shoes back on and stuffing your books back into your bag. It was obvious that you weren’t wanted anymore.

“Y/n, what are you doing?” Nancy asked with so much innocence that you figured she was oblivious to Steve’s actual plans for being here.

“She’s probably just tired.” Steve remarked, shrugging. That asshole.

“I didn’t feel like sitting here while you made out with Mr Hairspray over there.” You shot back, happy with Steve’s offended reaction that Nancy ignored.

“What? No, we’re just studying I promise.” Nancy walked to you, hand on your arm. “Plus you didn’t even tell me about that boy.”

“Wow, never thought Y/n would even have a boy.” Steve snorted with his hands in his pockets.

“Steve!” Nancy hushed. She knew you two didn’t get along but still managed to act surprised when you fought.

“Y/n!” She also said as you stuck your middle finger at him, standing and swinging your bag onto your shoulder.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Nancy.” You said, smiling in reassurance that you didn’t blame her for this sudden situation.

“Bye, Y/n.” Steve said cheerily, giving you a wave.

“Bye, Hairy.” You replied as you left her room, smirking to yourself.

You didn’t need to turn around to know Steve was angry with your nickname. A nickname that surely was going to make a comeback soon. It was too good to let go now that you started.

You stood at the counter as your uncle walked in, bringing the stench of alcohol in with him. He had been drinking with his work friends again. You were pretty sure he doesn’t consider them as ‘friends’, it just gave him an excuse to drink.

“Aren’t you meant to be asleep?” He muttered.

“I’m 16 and it’s only 9.” You replied softly. He wasn’t a horrible man. Truth is, he was still mourning. He and your aunt never even got to have any kids before she died. This was as new to him as it was to you.

“Ah. Well, I’ll be in the other room if you need me.” He patted your shoulder and left holding a beer bottle he had removed from the fridge.

You just sat in your room for the rest of the night, attempting to study the cards you hadn’t gotten the chance to look at before the horny mascot of shampoo had crashed your study date. But no matter what you tried, your mind was running a hundred miles an hour with every thought but chemistry. Will. Eddie. California.

You knew this year was going to be different. You felt it as you got into bed, body shivering as you turned off the bedside lamp that had began flickering.

Yet another bulb to replace.

Chapter 2: Pool Parties and Good Punches ->

[shinsoussimp]

kinktober day 10!

degradation - kei tsukishima x male reader

a/n: not to toot my own horn but i think i went off with this one. :) i really like it :D

he had found out about your... different interests before you two had even started dating. he messed with everyone around him and just because he had feelings for you didn’t make you safe from his “bullying”.

“what? don’t tell me you guys are scared.” tsukishima chuckles from the other side of the net. you all had split the team in half so you could scrimmage. this made tsukishima that much more snappy.

“this’ll be quick. you do get blocked quite a lot, don’t you y/n?” you felt so embarrassed that you didn’t feel anger at his words. instead you pull your bottom lip between your teeth as a heat creeps up the back of your neck. you quickly turn away trying to ignore him.

he was right. his team won fairly quick. but that didn’t mean you weren’t any less frustrated by it. you ended up walking past tsukishima and you feel his shoulder bump yours harshly. he did that on purpose, obviously.

“watch where you’re going, pipsqeak.” your eyes widen and you let out a small gasp. you quickly bowed to him letting out a small ‘sorry’ before running off to the empty locker room. just in time too. you look down and see a growing tent under your shorts.

“fuck me..” you groan, letting your head fall back onto the wall behind you.

“i would love to.” you freeze, hands covering your crotch. of course he followed you into the locker room. of course. tsukishima folds his arms over his chest giving your still frozen figure one long look up and down.

“i always knew you were a slut, but i didn’t know it was this bad.” he takes a step closer to you, causing you to squeeze you eyes shut.

“my.. teasing always had you reacting a different way than everyone else. most would playfully get angry, brush me off, or even fight back a bit. but you? you’re always bowing to me and apologizing. like a little bitch.” by the end of his sentence he is right by your ear. he lifts his arm and lets his hand rest on the wall next to your head.

“and now look at you. running off to the locker room to get in a quick handjob because me calling you pipsqeak turns you on that much, hm?” you set aside your pride and slowly nod, flushing red even more (if that was even possible) when you hear his satisfied hum.

“say it.” your eyes open and you look up at him for the first time since he entered the locker room.

“w-what?” 

“you heard me.” he nips at your ear lightly causing you to whimper. “say it.” you look back down, taking a deep long breath.

“i-it turned me on..” you whisper after a few moments of silence. he smirks and chuckles a bit, letting his breath fan over your ear. he moves your hands out of the way, taking your bulge into his own hand.

“then let’s do something about that, pipsqeak.”

[wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse]

A Peculiar Hobbit (Pippin x Fem!Reader)

Word Count: 1857

Warnings: fluff, fighting

Requested: by anon

I thought this would be a fun write, and I had a lot of freedom with this one and it was fun! Short and sweet! Might possibly do a part 2, maybe super angsty, who knows?

You walked through the stacks of books, trying to find the right one for your research. “No no no, this isn’t right!” you talked to yourself, almost kicking a stack of papers in your frustration. “They must have gotten lost. These boneheads lost valuable information, they’ll have hell to pay.” This time, you kicked another stack of books, and it fell. It slammed down onto your legs, and you cried out in pain. You fell to the ground, and moved the books off of you, rubbing the sore spot it left.

“Um, excuse me,” You heard from the darkened corner. Whoever was speaking had a peculiar accent. It sounded like a male, but a young one. “I hope I’m not interrupting something. I was sent here to find something, and well, it seems like something happened?”

You rolled your eyes, you had a bad enough day already. Now you had to deal with actual people. “Well, I am fine enough. What can I do for you?” You tried your hardest to speak in a polite manner, but it came out a bit snappy. It was odd to speak to darkness in the corners anyway. Who could blame you?

“Miss, I truly am sorry for interrupting, if you just want me to leave, I will.” The voice stuttered. 

You sighed. “I promise it is fine. Come in.” The fire was dwindling, so you threw some more kindling in, giving the stranger some time. When you turned around you saw a child looking at you. No, he had the height of a child. But he looked older. Clearly, you looked astonished, as the child thing started chuckling. 

“Oh, you have never seen a Hobbit before. For someone that spends much time in here, you haven’t seen much outside. What is your name miss?” He spoke between his laughs. His cheeks were a merry red, and his curls framed his face. 

But something about his statement rubbed you the wrong way. “Well excuse me, you know nothing about me. You don’t know whether I go outside or not, whether I spend all my time in here.” You spoke indignantly, after all, who was he to judge your lifestyle. This only caused him to laugh even more. “And for your information, I know exactly what a Hobbit is, I just have never come across one. Very well then, go find what you’re looking for. Also, my name is y/n, not that you need to know.” 

“Ah, a beautiful name for a beautiful woman.” He grinned and began looking around, leaving you with your mouth gaping.

As he shuffled through the books and scrolls, you looked at him curiously, at his frame, his size. As you scanned him, you noticed things that made him look less of a child. His chest was broader, and his arms were bigger. His face still had a childish innocence about it, one that hadn’t quite been taken during these dark times. His cheekbones were beginning to hollow out though, and the light in his eyes was probably not as bright as they used to be. 

He sneezed, making you jump, and you hurried over to where he was, making sure he hadn’t disturbed too much. You picked up some books, placed them on the counter, and began questioning him.  “Now tell me, what is your name?”

“Peregrin. Peregrin Took,” he stated proudly. 

I cocked an eyebrow, doubtful of that. He seemed to be too much of a jokester to have such a formal name like Peregrin. It was a nice name, no doubt, but it didn’t fit. “Peregrin hm? Are you sure?”

He looked down bashfully, but then looked up with a sly grin. “Ok fine, I go by Pippin. Now that you have seen a hobbit, your life is complete! Especially since that hobbit is me.” He winked, and you suppressed a smile, not wanting him to be egged on. “Anyways, I am the best hobbit for you to meet since I am the most handsome. I have the best smile, except maybe my friend Merry, he has a good smile. Oh also, my friend Frodo, he has good eyes.” His smile faltered for a second.

“Are you ok?” You questioned. 

He looked up from the scrolls he was reading, the happiness he previously had slowly melted away. “Aye, I am alright. I am. But I don’t know about the rest of my companions.” 

You grabbed two cushions and planted them on the floor. “Would you like to talk about it?”

He nodded and sat next to you. It became apparent how much he had lost during this time. He told you about his home, The Shire, and how he ended up on this journey. The encounters he had along the way. How they were in danger very quickly. He also told how he lost many friends, including the Captain of Gondor, Boromir. He teared up, telling the sacrifice he made to save them, even if it didn’t at first. It hurt to see such a fragile creature have the need to toughen up, to harden, to scar. He spoke of his friends leaving, how he was not sure where they might be. If they were still alive. 

Once he was finished, you spoke. “Well, that is certainly a story to tell. And there will be more chapters to your book. I sincerely hope everything goes your way, a person as young as you should not have had to go through all of this.”

He smirked, his happy demeanor slowly coming back. “How young do you think I am? I am 29, a fairly good age if I do say so myself.” 

You spluttered, surprised at that. You remember reading somewhere something about that, but you thought it was rubbish. “You must be joking. No way are you older than me!”

Pippin smiled and nodded. “Well, I hate to break it to you, no, I love to break it to you, I am 29. Not younger, not older.”

“Hmm, interesting,” You hummed, picking yourself up off the ground. “Well, we should probably find what you’re looking for.” You turned around, accidentally slamming into a huge pile of books. Something about that hobbit made you flustered and turned you into a clumsy mess. And this was not going to get better. The pile slowly teetered, and you stayed frozen, unable to move your legs. 

“Y/n, watch out!” Pippin yelled, tackling you to the ground. Just in time, the stack made an earthshattering sound when it hit the ground, sending dust everywhere. Pippin laid on top of you, his head resting on your chest. 

You coughed, and he rolled off, laying next to you instead. “Thank you,” you whispered, brushing some of the dust off of your clothes. Pippin’s curls were covered in dust, and he smiled wryly, brushing some specks off your forehead. You cleared your throat and he pulled away quickly, the slightest hint of pink warming his cheeks.

He sat up quickly, brushing the rest of the debris off of himself. “Well, this wasn’t what I expected when I decided to make my way down here, but it was better than I could have hoped for.” He helped you sit up and then planted a kiss on your cheek. “Until next time!” he joyously called, skipping back up the stairs. You touched where he kissed you, beaming. This was going to be a better day than most days.

Everything was going fine, and you kept on replaying the time you had spent with Pippin until you heard a large boom, shaking the entire city. You heard the war cry of thousands of orcs and realized very quickly that you were under attack. “Damn it! This is why I shouldn’t have holed up here!” You yelled, quickly grabbing your sword from the dustiest, dark corner. It was a gift from your father, that he had trained you to use, but you thought you would never need.

You sped up the stairs, reaching sunlight. You shielded your face, letting your eyes adjust to the brightness, before turning to the pathway. You jogged through, trying to conserve some of your energy, though it might all be in vain. Objects were being thrown at the city, tumbling buildings and humans alike. All was chaos, and it swept you into it. 

You made it to a small alcove where you could see the army that had amassed before Gondor. The army that would bring the fall. Your sword hung loosely by your side, and you saw everything flash before your eyes. Memories forgotten, brought back, people you vaguely remembered. How much you had missed out on the world, hiding out in your book-hole instead. How much you could have seen if you had taken the chance. And now it was your time to go, just like that. You shook yourself out of that stupor, and raced on, trying to get farther up. 

Soldiers were being rallied by a stranger in white cloaks, and you passed by, working your way up farther. Out of nowhere, a person turned the corner, slamming into you. You fell to the ground, your sword clattering. “I’m sorry,” you spoke hurriedly, picking up the sword and moving on.

“Well, are you really just going to run off like that?” Pippin asked in his strong accent. You turned back, your jaw dropped. You had never expected him to be part of a battle, but here he was. You didn’t have time to answer before another crowd of orcs attacked. You took down as many as you could, and heard a cry of pain from behind you. You turned to see Pippin’s sword cutting deep through an orc. He had some bruises on his face but otherwise, he was fine. You grabbed him, pulling him away from the chaos. A battle was no place for a hobbit. 

“What are you doing?” He yelled, thrashing his arms about. You grit your teeth, finally at the citadel. 

You sighed, turning to look at him. “I need you to be safe. If I know you’re out here fighting, it will only distract me.”

He crossed his arms, his face slightly pouted. All of a sudden, his eyes lit up, and a smirk grew on his face. “Fine, I’ll stay here. On one condition. Let me kiss you. Just once.” He laughed, and you looked astounded at his cockiness. 

You had nothing left to lose though, so you agreed. “Okay, I will, but I am warning you Pippin, no tongue.” He grinned, and leaned in, planting a kiss directly on your lips. He didn’t linger for too long, his chapped lips creating a little friction. He pulled away first, leaving you a little dazed. You shook yourself out of your stupor and brushed your hair out of your face. “Goodbye, Pippin. I will see you soon,” you promised, even though you knew it was unlikely. He knew it was unlikely as well, you could see it in his eyes, but he still had a little bit of hope. And even a little bit of hope goes a long way. 

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch34: Paper

Summary: Following the events in Siberia, Katie, Steve Wanda and Sam all struggle to adapt to a life on the run. The Roger’s first wedding anniversary isn’t spent the way Steve would have hoped, but as Fall arrives, he finallly gets the call he’d been waiting for from Wakanda.

Warnings: Bad language, Smut! (NSFW, Under 18s) Bad Language words.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: Wonderful edit again from @angrybirdcr​ and a new part means a new banner!!!! Here we go, into the Nomad/IW years...

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 33

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

August 2016

Following advice from Coulson, the group of Outlaws decided to lay low for a few months until interest died down, although Katie and Sam were pretty amused to find out that there had been widespread protests across the US after Captain America had been declared and Enemy of the State, especially when someone (no names were mentioned, but Katie was laying odds on it being Murdock to help Clint and Scott’s very publicised hearings) had leaked to the press details of exactly what had taken place in Siberia, and how they had been treated by the Government. To Katie’s further delight, Ross was facing a public enquiry as well with regards to their unlawful arrests. 

All in all, that part of it had worked out pretty well. And whilst she knew Ross would get away with it, the thought of him being pissed off and inconvenienced filled her with a very smug sense of satisfaction.

The place they were living was called the Isle of Lewis, approximately twelve miles away from Stornoway in the northern part of the inter-connected Islands in the Hebrides. Coulson wasn’t lying when he’d told Katie it was isolated, in fact the only connection to mainland Scotland was either a two hour ferry or a half hour flight, so with that respect it was absolutely perfect. 

The old farm house was secluded, the land surrounding it sprawling for miles, shielded by a large thicket of trees on three sides and a cliff edge which dropped down to a small beach on the other. There was no reason for anyone to visit or pass their house, bar the odd dog walker they saw treading the cliff footpath. They were always careful when seeing people to greet them politely so they didn’t attract attention by being suspiciously aloof. 

The first rule of going on the run? Don’t run.

At first they strayed into town for supply runs only. Katie was surprised just how well she adapted to living with two additional people. At first she had been worried, Steve and her having had their own space for such a long time. Even in the tower and compound their living quarters had been spacious and private, meaning they could hide away from everyone if they wanted to. But in their safe house they didn’t have that luxury. Nevertheless, it was adequate enough meaning they all had their own rooms, even if they were on the small side. And whilst there was only one full bathroom upstairs, so far there had been no squabbles about who used it when. 

The large sitting area had been kitted out with a state of the art entertainment system, they had a decent sized farmhouse style Kitchen-Diner, and a smaller sitting room off the back of the kitchen with a smaller TV and a  a piano much to Katie’s delight. Practical things like bills etc were coming out of an account belonging to Mr and Mrs O’Rourke, one of Katie and Steve’s covers- the name being Steve’s Ma’s maiden name. Coulson had advised them it was the least suspicious thing to do and would attract less attention than trying to pay cash at a bank. They’d also acquired a ten year old 4x4, bought for cash of course, and it was subtle enough to blend in as a lot of the locals seemed to drive them too due to the terrain and climate of the Island.

But whilst everything seemed to go according to plan and was, when all was said and done, fairly easy, Steve was struggling. He was antsy from the lack of action, and from a purely carnal point of view was missing the fact he could slam his wife up against any surface he wanted to and not worry about them being caught. He hated the fact their room was right next to Sam’s, concerned with the amount of noise they might make after Bucky’s jibe about the hotel rooms, and it wasn’t long before Katie noticed a dramatic shift in his attitude towards her. He was snappy, short tempered and Katie was often the one that bore the brunt of his temper. They bickered, on a much larger scale than she could really ever remember them doing before, over really stupid things as well like the fact one evening Steve couldn’t find where she’d put his favourite cookies in the kitchen. He became less tactile, less handsy and their love life dwindled dramatically, but she tried not to let it get to her, which was easier said than done especially when she was so used to the fact that he basically worshipped the ground she walked on.

The morning of their first wedding anniversary, Katie woke alone, her husband nowhere to be found. After laying simply staring at his empty side of the bed for a moment, remembering he blinked back tears of frustration and headed for a before she wandered downstairs into the kitchen to be greeted by Sam and Wanda both sat at the table.

“Steve gone for a run?” She asked, after greeting them both good morning.

“Yeah, I offered to go but he wanted to go on his own.” Sam said, shrugging “Didn’t want me slowing him down.”

“He actually said that?” Katie frowned.

Sam nodded.

“I’m sorry Sam, don’t take it personally.” Katie poured herself a coffee and sat down, taking a deep breath. “Is everything okay?” Wanda asked, looking at Katie “You’ve both been a little tetchy recently. Granted you haven’t been as bad as him, but…” “Yeah, you guys not err…getting enough?” Sam quipped, earning himself a slap round the back of the head from Wanda, the younger woman giving him a glare.

“Fuck off Wilson.” Katie rolled her eyes.

“I’m just saying.”

“Well don’t.” She snapped, taking a sip of her coffee then swiping a piece of toast off his plate. “He’s just not coping well with being cooped up, it’ll settled down. I hope.” She added, biting her toast.

“Look, we know it’s your anniversary today.” Wanda looked at her. “You got anything planned?” “Not really possible.” Katie shrugged. “Thought I might try and convince him to take a walk later, just the two of us but…”

“Well,” Sam looked at Wanda then over to Katie. “We thought we might head into town for the evening, hit a few bars. Give you two a bit of space.” Wanda nodded, eagerly. “You have to do something, even if it’s just cooking a meal and having a bit of you time.” Katie pondered this for a moment and found herself smiling “Actually, that’s not a bad idea. I can go to the store later.” Her spirits raised a little as she started planning a menu out in her head. She was jerked from her thoughts when the security system clicked and Steve walked through the door of the kitchen that led to the grounds, the door shutting behind him, the keypad beeping as he typed in the code to lock everything down. His T-shirt was damp with sweat, clinging to his torso, the pair of dark sweats fitting snugly to his hips.

“Hey.” She looked up at him. His face was tired but nevertheless she was relieved to see him smile as he walked over and dropped a soft kiss to her head, their argument from the previous night forgotten.

“Happy Anniversary.” He whispered, and she smiled up at him, understanding his gesture to also be an apology of sorts.

“Back at ya, Soldier.” She swallowed back her tears, “You want breakfast?” “I’ll shower first.” He nodded to Sam and Wanda before pausing, and with a playful smile he stole the last piece of toast off Sam’s plate.

“Not cool man!” Sam groaned.  “That was the last of the bread.” Steve simply shrugged at Sam’s protest, before he headed down the hallway to go and freshen up. Katie watched him go before she turned to Wanda.

“Fancy coming with me to the store?”

She nodded “Sure.”

***** When Steve came back to the kitchen half an hour or so later he was surprised to find the girls gone.

“Supplies.” Sam answered his unasked question as he was flicking through the television in the lounge, settling on a British Chat Show called ‘This Morning’, easy daytime TV that didn’t require thinking about. Steve made himself a coffee before he sat down next to his friend with a sigh.

“So, first anniversary.” Sam spoke, not looking at him. “Be this isn’t what you thought you’d be doing?” “You can say that again.” Steve mumbled. Just twelve months ago at that exact time he’d been bustling about his apartment on the compound in a fluster getting ready. It had, without a doubt, been the happiest day of his life.  But this was not how he wanted their first wedding anniversary to go down. He’d always planned spoiling Katie a little, maybe a nice getaway, somewhere warm, but that wasn’t an option.

“Me and Wanda are clearing out later.” Sam’s eyes remained on the TV. “Give you two a bit of alone time.” “You don’t have to-“ Steve started but Sam cut him off with a snort.

“Man, you need to make some lovin’ on your girl.” He turned to the soldier who felt a flush rise up his neck. “Because we know you ain’t been getting enough, you’ve been a bad tempered bastard for weeks.”

“I have not.” Steve shot back indignantly, causing Sam to raise his eyebrows. Steve let out a sigh, knowing he was well and truly busted.

“Look, if you two ever need some space, all ya gotta do is ask.” Sam said sincerely, looking at Steve. “Couples need that time. This is bound to be stressful for you both.”

“I doubt it’s easy on you two either.” Steve looked at him and Sam shrugged, before he smirked.

“Difference is if I wanna get laid I’ll just head into town. There’ll be some sap out there that likes George Fletcher the Geologist from Georgia.”

“You’re terrible you know that?” Steve smirked at him over his coffee mug.

Sam simply smiled back. “You get her anything?”

“Yeah.” Steve nodded “We agreed months ago on something paper themed, you know, on account of the anniversary being paper. I had planned to get the lyrics to our wedding song printed and do a sketch of one of our photos to hang up in our apartment but that kinda went out of the window.” “So what did you get?” “A book.” Steve let out a breath “I spotted it in the second hand shop in town last time we did a flyer. It’s a leather-bound complete works of Shakespeare but it was published the year she was born and has all these handwritten notes in it from someone. Just the kind of thing she’ll like. And a couple of albums of sheet music, I know she’s missing hers back home and she hasn’t been playing the piano as much as I thought she would.”

“She’ll love it.” Sam smiled encouragingly “I hope so Sam.” he sighed, leaning back against the couch cushions, scratching at his chin “I hope so.” *****

True to their word, Sam and Wanda headed out just after five, leaving Katie and Steve alone. As Katie bustled around in the kitchen, Steve couldn’t help but watch his wife as she cooked, a small smile playing on his face. And then, realising they were truly alone for the first time in months he placed his beer down on the side and crossed the small room, wrapping his arms around her from behind and dropping his chin to her shoulder, nuzzling at her neck. She smiled at his display of affection, something she’d been aching for, and as the scruff of his almost-beard scratched at her skin she gave a soft sigh.

“You okay?” she asked.

“Yeah.” He said, before he shook his head “No. Not really. Doll, I’m sorry for being so distant. You don’t deserve this.” He sighed. “After the accords, when the dust settled we were supposed to have a normal life, a simple life. I can’t even give you that.”

“It’s a good thing you’re cute because at times you’re incredibly stupid,” She smiled making him breathe a laugh. “Steve we’re here, together after everything. I made that vow, until death do us part and I mean it. I love you.” She finished simply, shrugging. “So stop wasting time worrying about it. You’re stuck with me, Captain Dumbass.“

Steve looked back at her, before he gave her a small smile.

"Now I know this probably isn’t what either of us had in mind, but we’re on our own, I’ve got a pretty large batch of Mac and Cheese, and an apple pie in the oven, a steak ready to grill so let’s just try and enjoy it.”

“You made mac and cheese?” Steve’s face creased into a boyish smile “And apple pie? What happened to not baking pies unless it’s Autumn?” “Well its September tomorrow.” She shrugged. “And I thought it might cheer you up.”

"Sorry.” He half grimaced, half smiled apologetically back at her. “I know I haven’t been the easiest to be around lately ─”

“Stop apologizing.” She interrupted him again.

He studied her for a second before he leaned down to give her a soft kiss. “I love you.” “I know.” Her hands slid down to his chest and she gave him a quick pat before playfully shoving him away “Now scoot, unless you want me to burn dinner. Go set the table.” Knowing better than to refuse, he did as he was told and it wasn’t long before they were settled down and eating. They talked about everything and anything, drank wine, and to the pair of them they could almost have been sat in their dining room at the compound. They laughed, they joked, they poked fun at one another. It felt normal. Once they had finished eating they cleared their dishes, Steve grabbed another bottle of wine and they headed to the couch to find something to watch on TV.

“I got you something.” Katie smiled when Steve dropped the wine onto the coffee table and she gestured to the small gift bag resting on the table.

“Oh, me too. Hang on.” He bounded up the stairs to retrieve his gift. As he returned, Katie eyed the two wrapped items with playful suspicion as he handed them to her. One was really heavy. She passed the gift bag containing his to him and he peeked inside, and they shared a childish grin with one another before they set about opening their presents.

“Oh, Steve.” She breathed out as she gently ran her hands over the leather of the anthology he had bought her. Flicking through, she smiled as she spotted all the notes that someone had written in the margins. They consisted of opinions on the plays, themes, characterisation plots, all the type of thing she had studied at University and she found it fascinating to read other people’s interpretations.

“I thought you might like it.” He watched her as she looked at him, her eyes bright, before she then let out another sigh of happiness when she opened the two sheet music books as they would give her something else to play other than the stuff she knew from memory.

And her gift to Steve was equally as thoughtful. He positively beamed when he opened the new blank sketch books, pencils, wax crayons and charcoals. All of his art supplies had been left behind and he’d been dying to get some more.

“Well, the sketchbook is paper.” Katie explained softly. “And I know it relaxes you to draw.” “Doll, its perfect” He assured her, dropping a kiss to her lips. “Thank you.”

“So, what film do you wanna watch?” She asked, moving for the remote but Steve had no intention of watching a film. Not now. He gently grabbed her wrist and she looked at him.

“Right now, Mrs Rogers, I’d really like to carry you upstairs and take you to bed.”

Katie grinned. “Well that can be arranged, but there’s something I wanna do first.”

He looked at her, puzzled for a moment but when she tapped on her phone and the opening sounds of ‘Only One in Colour’ sounded over the speakers he laughed and stood up, offering her his hand.

“May I have this dance?” He quipped, arching an eyebrow at her.

“Always.” She smiled, allowing him to pull her up.

They moved to the back of the couch where there was more room and he took her in a hold and they simply stayed close, swaying to the music, both of them thinking back to their first dance as a married couple twelve months ago. Katie pressed her cheek to Steve’s chest and he in turn rest his chin on the top of her head, revelling in her closeness. He heard her let out a soft sigh, but this one was contentment, and he gently moved to look down at her. For a moment Katie felt her breath catch, he was looking at her with nothing but unadulterated desire and love, the same way he had on their wedding day, and before the song had even finished, he’d captured her lips in a soft kiss, his hands moving to cradle her face. Hers fisted in his white T-shirt and it wasn’t long before the kiss had deepened causing a moan to catch in Steve’s throat. Without a word he pulled back and scooped her up in his arms, bridal style, causing her to giggle, a sound he would never tire of, and quick as a flash he carried her up the stairs and into the bedroom.

He set her on her feet but before he had time to do anything she’d shoved him backwards, catching him off guard slightly causing him to sit down harshly on the bed and he let out a smirk as she straddled him before she kissed him again and he was happy to reciprocate exactly how he knew she liked, firm and gentle, passionate and caring all at once. Katie gently bit his lower lip drawing another groan from his throat as he rest his head against hers, his hands gently gipping her hip.

“You know,” She drew back slightly to cup his face in her fingertips. “I really do like kissing you with this.” she traced her hand across the short beard on his face. She also liked looking at him with it too because, coupled with the fact his hair was also getting slightly longer, it gave him a rugged, harder, rougher look taking him farther and farther away from the Blue-Eyed all American boy day by day.

“I’m getting used to it.” He murmured pressing a soft kiss to her mouth before his head dropped, small kisses trailing up the length of her neck, that precious stubble creating an amazing contrast to the softness of his mouth.

“Yeah, me too.” She gave a soft moan, her eyes closed as she rolled her head back, giving him access to more of her neck. Steve smiled slightly, happy to oblige and just take his god damned time loving his wife. Eventually, his lips made their way up her jaw and then she sat up slightly, grasping at the hem of his T-shirt. He moved to allow her to take it off and then his fingers made short work of the sleeveless button down she had been wearing, shrugging it down over her shoulders before he peppered more kisses across her collar bone and down her sternum as he reached round to undo her bra. Gently, he lay her flat down on the bed, taking a nipple in his mouth, this time drawling a loud groan from her as her hips bucked involuntarily upwards at the sensations spiking through her body.

God it really had been far too long since he’d lavished attention on her like this and Steve made a mental note to tell Sam and Wanda to ‘take a walk’ a lot more often. It was almost two months now since they had last been intimate and, his body was aching for her, desperate to feel her, and from the noises she was making she felt the same. His lips made their way down, nose and beard skimming along the waistband of her jeans before he undid them, sliding them down with her underwear as he shed his own too before he crawled back over her.

Katie pushed on his shoulders slightly so she could roll him over and placed herself on top of him, brushing her lips across the hairs on his face tracing a path across from one side of his jawline to the other drawing a gentle moan from his lips, hands flexing on her hips as she shifted slightly to start taking him in. Her mouth dropped into a small ‘o’ as they both groaned as she slid down him, her hands falling to his chest and once he was fully sheathed inside of her, she began to work him gently. His hands slid up into her hair, as she leaned forward to kiss him and he raised his hips slightly and she whimpered, pushing down harder against him as his hands gently kneaded at her breasts. Her pace was slow, torturously so, but it wasn’t long before she began to move faster, working him harder as she chased her relief. The roughness of his pubic hair was grinding against her spot, the friction feeling amazing as she pushed down. With every push she made, his eyes grew darker, and darker, his hands digging into her hips as he pulled her down, grinding further and deeper.

He sat up suddenly, so they were face to face, the change of angle making her cry out, as he slid his hands round her back, pulling her closer to him as he bent to kiss her neck, biting at that spot whilst he held her still for a moment, gently thrusting upwards, deeply, slowly, savouring the moment. Katie rolled her head back, a louder cry this time tumbling from her lips and he felt her tighten around him, and he let out a groan of his own.

“Good?” He panted, smiling as she managed a broken noise of affirmation, as he pulled her to him harder, hands back on her hips as his rutting picked up speed.

“Stevie…” She mumbled, her eyes locking onto his as her hands slid up his back and fisted into his hair. A few more pushes later and they were both done for, her name escaping from his lips as her walls collapsed completely, and she let out a soft cry as she fell forward burying her face in his neck. He was close behind, letting out a gentle moan, his beard rustling against her ear as he jerked underneath her, clinging onto her as if he never wanted to let her go. And at that moment he didn’t.

After a minute or so he leaned back, his breathing deep as he brushed her hair back off her face before sliding his nose against hers. “Happy Anniversary, Kitten.” *******

Steve thought the fall in New York was gorgeous but that was nothing compared to what it was like where they were. He was feeling a lot more positive about things as well, as post their anniversary, he and Katie had made a pact that they would do  something alone together at least once a week, be it a walk along the cliff the beach, or straying into town to one of the local restaurants. His hair and beard now rendered him pretty much unrecognisable and they never got a second glance at all. 

Steve’s favourite ‘date’, if you could them that, was the walk they took in the pitch black to see the Northern Lights late one evening. Katie had been utterly captivated by the beauty of the Aurora Borealis and Steve had to admit, it was spectacular. Committing it to memory was easy, and a few days later Katie wasn’t surprised to find a perfect replica of them his sketch book.

Being on the run shouldn’t have been this easy, and they were constantly on edge, waiting for the time they had to split and run, but whilst they could, they made the most of it. 

Thanksgiving came, then Christmas, the four friends making it as festive as possible. They got a tree, shared gifts, enjoyed a Christmas Meal, and after several drinks each, Steve wheeled the piano into the living room where Sam and Katie gave a rousing rendition of ‘Fairy Tale of New York’ along with a few other Christmas songs. It was different, but that didn’t make it any less enjoyable.

And then, in March 2017, they had a call from T’Challa. They were ready to bring Bucky out of cryo. Katie and Steve instantly set about making the arrangements to go to Wakanda, but it turns out they weren’t the only ones planning on taking a little trip…

“There’s something I wanted to discuss with you all.” Wanda said, the morning they were due to depart. “Please don’t freak out, but I talked to Vision last night.”

“What?” Katie’s voice was quiet as she merely looked back at the younger woman, her face passive.

Meanwhile, both Steve and Sam’s eyebrows shot up in their foreheads.

“Hold on, what do you mean you talked to Vision?” Steve asked. “How? Where?”

“This is going to sound really weird, but I saw him in my dreams,” Wanda carried on with her explanation.

“How do you know that wasn’t just a dream?” Sam asked.

“Because it wasn’t,” Wanda shrugged “I don’t know how to explain it, but I know it was him and I know it was real. I think we are connected somehow, because of the Mind Stone and because I was thinking about him before I went to sleep, it made some kind of telepathy possible.”

Steve pondered it for a second, thinking to himself how ridiculous that sounded until he realised they were talking about an enhanced human who had gained certain telepathic and telekinetic powers due to experimentation with the Mind Stone and an android that now carried within his synthetic, vibranium-mesh body said gem. 

When you put it like that it seemed fairly logical.

"What did you talk about?” Katie asked after a moment.

“Just stuff, how I was, how much we, you know, miss one another” Wanda bit her lip. “We talked about actually meeting in person in a few days.”

“Okay, hold on,” Sam held one of his hands up, his brow furrowed. “How do we know this is not a trap? Like, I don’t know, Tony getting Vision to talk to you to get us back into the Raft?”

As soon as Sam said it Katie shook her head. Tony could sometimes be a jackass and he may have been hurt and mad at her and Steve, but she knew despite his stinging barb in Siberia, he wouldn’t want them all thrown in jail.

“He wouldn’t do that,” She looked at Sam.

“How do you know?” Sam pressed.

“Because Tony has way better tech than us, and there’s no accounting for what Vision can do with that Mind Stone.” Steve backed his wife up. This was something he had been pondering on for a while now too. “If anyone can find us, it’s them, yet we’re almost ten months down the line now since Leipzig and so far, there’s no sign of any one, so Tony’s either no longer working with Ross, or if he is, he’s dragging his feet deliberately.”

“Exactly,” Wanda nodded emphatically. “And Vision would never do anything to hurt me, not intentionally. I trust him with my life, but it’s more than that.”

Taking a deep breath, his mind made up, Steve turned to Wanda “You’re not a prisoner here Wanda. If you want to go then we can’t and we won’t stop you.”

“Do you want to go?” Katie looked at the younger woman who was wringing her hands together.

“I do but, well, I kinda feel like I’m fraternizing with the enemy.”

“He’s not the enemy. None of them are. Not Vision or Rhodey, Not Tony, none of them.” Steve ran his hand through his hair, sweeping the long strands back off his face. “We all wanted the same thing, to do good in this world but we disagreed on how best to make it happen. Doesn’t make us enemies.”

“But we’re on the run because…”

“This was always going to happen.” Katie cut her off, shaking her head “Ever since SHIELD collapsed and Fury stepped away there was a power vacuum. It was only a matter of time before the Government tried to step in to oversee us.”

“And let’s face it, I was always going to be considered a rogue threat the moment I refused to comply” Steve said, a wry smile on his face. “We all were.”

“Just be careful.” Katie looked at Wanda. “And whilst we’re away just make sure you check in once in a while? And the first sign of trouble, well, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“Well if Wanda’s being granted shore leave so to speak, I might take a bit of time too.” Sam chipped in as the idea came to him. “There’s an old RAF pal of mine, based near Liverpool that I aint seen in a while. He’s cool,” he anticipated the next question, “I saved his life on a mission so he won’t sell me out.” Steve took a deep breath and then shrugged “You know the risks, Sam. If any of us get caught then…” “Back to the Pokey.” Sam shrugged “Yeah, I got it. And don’t worry, I wouldn’t rat your location out.”

“Me neither.” Wanda added. 

“I don’t for a second believe you would.” Steve shook his head.

“I suppose, to be fair,” Katie bit her lip, “we’ve been here for a long time now. It won’t harm us to disappear for a while, regroup in a few weeks. And we’ll draw even less attention apart as they won’t be expecting it.” And so, for the first time in ten months, the four went their separate ways. ****** True to his word, Steve was there when they woke Bucky up. Once he had come round the two greeted one another with the same love and affection they always did. Suri’s scans showed that the programming was no longer present in Bucky’s brain, but there was one last thing they had to do to make sure.

Say the trigger words.

Which was why Katie, Steve, a one armed Bucky and T’Challa were now heading to the underground fort of the palace. Katie clutching a rifle, Steve was unarmed bar his super strength, whilst T’Challa was in his black panther garb, the party flanked by two members of his Kings Guard.

As they were about to enter the underground cell, Bucky grabbed Katie’s arm and pulled her to one side.

“What the hell Bucky?” She almost yelped, and he let go of her arm and held his finger to his lips.

��Listen, Doll Face, I got a favour to ask. If this hasn’t worked…” He took a deep breath. “I want you to end it.”

“End what?”  She arched an eyebrow at him. “Me.” He replied simply “Steve said you’re a good shot. I want you to put a bullet in my head.” Katie blinked, and then burst out laughing. “Whatever.” “I’m being deadly serious.” Bucky looked at her. “I can’t and I don’t want to live like that anymore.” He shook his head sadly. “I’d rather die that know that what they’ve done is still in there.” “Bucky,” Katie frowned, “you’d be safe here, you know that, no one would trigger you.” “No, we don’t know that.” He shook his head. “Please Katie, I’m begging you. You owe me.” “So you save my life and you want me to take yours?” “Yeah. Pretty much.”

“You’re an asshole, James Buchanan Barnes” She hissed, glaring at him before shooting a glance over his shoulder at where Steve was stood, talking to T’Challa. She shook her head sadly. “I can’t. It’d kill Steve and it’s wrong, you don’t…”

“Listen, I’m asking you because I trust you to do it.” Bucky cut her off, looking over his shoulder to where she had been watching Steve. He was now stood observing the pair of them and they both smiled at him. Katie took a deep breath, looking into Bucky’s steel blue eyes and gave a sigh. She knew how hard this was on him and she could fully understand where he was coming from but still, asking her to do it, especially when she knew Steve would be besides himself made her feel sick.

“I’ve written him a letter.” Bucky said quickly, as the Super Soldier was now making his way over. “It explains what I’ve asked you to do. So please, give me your word.”

She looked at him, swallowing, and gave him a small nod before her eyes flicked to Steve as he approached, a frown on his face.

“You two alright?”

“Yeah, Katie was just asking me how I was really feeling.” Bucky looked at his friend.

Katie shrugged and smiled at Steve in what she hoped as a convincing way “Wanted to make sure he was alright, that’s all.”

Steve studied her for a moment, and she smiled again before he turned to Bucky. “It’s gonna be ok.” Steve assured his friend, clapping him on his shoulder, shooting another glance at his wife who was nervously chewing her lip. He frowned again, but pushed the suspicion to the back of his mind and then nodded. “Come on.” “Yeah, let’s get this over with.” Bucky mumbled.

Steve and T’Challa stepped into the room which was sealed whilst Katie took up her position on the other side of the one way glass with Suri who pressed the microphone to talk into the room.

““I don’t know why you are all worrying, brother, it is like you do not trust me…” the young woman scoffed. “Take no chances Sister.” T’Challa shot back. “You know this”.

Suri made a noise in her throat and then spoke again “Ok, I’m ready when you are.” She held the red book in her hand that they had recovered from Zumo. T’Challa engaged his helmet whilst Steve stood stoic as ever, throwing a glance over his shoulder to the glass he knew his wife was stood at the other side of.

“Ready Buck?” he asked turning back. His friend nodded, taking a deep breath.

T’Challa signalled to Suri who, after a little hesitation, began to read, each word punctuated by a pause.

“Longing, Rusted, Seventeen, Daybreak, Furnace…”

Katie watched intently and saw Bucky was clenching his teeth and suddenly she started to get a little bit nervous. She wasn’t the only one that had spotted it either. Steve moved slightly, adopting a little more of a battle stance than he had been as he clocked his friends reaction.

“Nine, Benign, Homecoming, One, Freight Car”

The last words hit Steve like a truck. It was depraved that Hydra would use those words. Bucky had plunged from a train car to his supposed death. There was no randomness to that at all, unlike the seemingly obscure nature of the rest of the words, nor was it any accident it was the last trigger they would use. There were the final words because they signified the death of Bucky and the birth of the killer Winter Soldier.

Sick bastards.

Bucky’s chest was heaving, his fist was clenching, and for a split second Steve feared the worse. But when his friend looked up, he saw the blue eyes of Bucky Barnes looking back at him, and not the icy glare of the Winter Soldier.

“Buck?” He asked gently, his voice cracking slightly. Bucky looked at him, a single tear falling down his cheek.

“Nothing.” He croaked, and Katie let out a soft sigh of relief, her hands sliding down her face to cover her mouth. “Nothing.”

T’Challa threw a party of sorts that night which consisted of a bar crawl through the city. Katie and Bucky dubbed it a ‘Fuck HYDRA’ party much to Steve’s chagrin. But he couldn’t bring himself to care that much, as at the end of the day, if anyone had as much right to stick their middle fingers up to HYDRA it was them. There was still something troubling him though, so when T’Challa left the bar they were sat at for a few moments, he turned to Bucky and asked him outright what had been going on with him and Katie outside the cell before. Bucky hesitated before he hung his head slightly and peered up at Steve from where he was sat next to him, a tumbler of some kind of Wakandan alcohol in his hand.

“I asked her to kill me.” Bucky admitted, swilling the liquid round in the glass “If it hadn’t worked I asked her to put a bullet in my head. She didn’t want to but I told her she owed me.” Steve felt himself blanche. “You did what?” “You don’t know what it’s like.” Bucky shook his head. “Living with the fact that at any time someone could mutter a string of words and…” He shot back the alcohol and slid his empty glass back to the Bar Tender to top up. “I didn’t want to live like that.”

”You put that on her?” Steve’s eyes flashed with anger, “Damnit Buck, you should have asked me!”

“Would you have done it?” Bucky countered. Steve took a big sigh, knowing he was caught “Exactly.” Bucky scoffed. “And besides, you’re the one that said she was a dead shot.”

Bucky eyed his friend for a while before he slid his empty glass to the man behind the bar, gesturing for another top up. “Anyway, it’s irrelevant now because here I am.”

“That was still a shitty thing to do.” Steve frowned before he reached over for his glass, giving a little shrug. “But yeah, here you are.” T’Challa chose that point to come back and he settled at the bar next to Steve.

“So, Sergeant Barnes, we’ll have to see about getting you some permanent lodgings.” The King smiled “Maybe a private hut. There is a quiet tribe, not far from the river, unless you would prefer a post in my Kings Guard.” “I’m done fighting.” Bucky shook his head as he took another drink from his glass. “A hut sounds mighty fine. Maybe I can get some goats.” “Goats?” Steve looked at him.

“I like Goats.” Bucky shrugged “Do you remember the one in the petting zoo near School?” “Yeah, it set my asthma off.” Steve snorted before the pair of them descended into laughter.

Across the bar, Katie was stood with Suri and one of T’Challa’s personal guards, Okoye. She instantly warmed to Okoye, the woman reminding her a lot of Natasha. They stood chatting for a while before a loud roll of laughter caught their attention and they turned to see T’Challa, Bucky and Steve howling at something, as T’Challa gestured for the bar tender to top up their glasses whilst Okoye excused herself to head over to speak to her husband. 

“Oh dear, they’ve broken out the Wakandan Spice.” Suri muttered, eyeing up the men.

“What’s that?” Katie asked.

“The only thing that gets my brother drunk!” Suri snorted “That stuff could knock out a rhino.”

“So it should have an effect on Super Soldiers?” Katie grinned.

“Let’s go find out!” Suri nodded, a cheeky grin on her face. They made their way over and Katie could see instantly the woman was right. Steve had a glazed look in his eyes and Bucky was leaning back in his chair, a pink tinge to his cheeks.

“Hey, Beautiful” Steve smiled up at Katie, pulling her into his lap, his hand trailed up and down her spine, lazily. “Where you been all evening?”

“About ten meters away over there.” She smirked, pointing. Suri was reaching over to steal a bit of the liquor from Bucky’s glass and T’Challa slapped her hand. “You are not even old enough to drink.” He glared at her.

“Tssk hush brother. Just because you are now well into your thirties. You always seem to be so bitter about me being much younger than you.” At that Bucky barked out a laugh.

“Don’t know what you’re snorting at old man.” Katie glanced at him and he quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Not exactly a comment I’d expect from someone who’s married to a hundred-year-old man.”

“Ninety-eight.” Steve corrected.

Katie leaned back in her husband’s lap to peer at him, her right hand running through his hair. "Doesn’t look a day over twenty five.” She grinned.

“Hey brother, why doesn’t your power stop your ageing?”  Suri quipped.

“Shut up.” T’Challa glared at her. “Before I carry you back to the palace”

As the two siblings began to quibble, Katie glanced at Steve. “Been talking about the good old days?” “In a fashion.” Steve smirked.

“Anymore good tales of your misspent youth to tell me?” Bucky shook his head. “Sure Steve’s told you enough already.”

“I never told her about the time you set up a double date for us and then forgot to show up.” Steve looked at him, his arms tightening around his wife.

“That never happened.” Bucky shook his head.

“It absolutely happened. Caroline O’Hara and Deborah Smith”  

Bucky’s eyes widened. “Oh shit, yeah. Brunette and a red head. A curly red head.” He grinned.

“Yup. Double date to the theatre, only you never showed up.” Steve looked at him, accusingly “And little old me was left to explain to Debbie why you had stood her up.”

Bucky smirked into his glass.

"I thought she was gonna kill me.” Steve mused, turning to look at Katie. “She kept hitting me with her purse. And then Caroline started, asking where the hell he was and why he thought it fit to stand up her best friend and try to fix her up with some kind of joke.”

Katie frowned, narrowing her eyes. “You weren’t a joke.”

“Thanks, Honey.” He grinned before he turned to fix Bucky with a glare. “And do you remember why you didn’t show up?” Bucky was now shaking with mirth, as he looked at Steve, his eyes bright with tears of laughter. “Go on, tell her Buck.”

“I was with Maggie Dougherty.” Bucky smirked

“Yeah, you were.” Steve pointed at him. “That was the night you got caught sneaking out of her room and down her fire escape by her dad who beat the crap out of you.”

“Worth it though.” Bucky snorted. “She was hot. Strawberry blonde waves, pretty face, nice ass.” “Yeah.” Steve nodded and Katie slapped the back of his head.

“Oww!” He looked at her as she glared at him. Grinning he reached up to give her a soft kiss “Not a patch on you though, Darlin’”

After another hour or so, Katie left them to it, heading back to the palace with Suri. She’d had enough, the alcohol she had drunk had lulled her into that happy place here she felt warm and fuzzy inside, and ready for bed.

Steve woke her up when he came crashing into the room a few hours later.

“Shit.” He mumbled, as he banged into the chair by the dresser. “Shhhh”

He staggered over to the bed before face planting straight down. Katie grinned as he peeked up at her.

“I’m drunk.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” She giggled and scrambled out of the duvet. “Come on, get in bed.” “Promises, promises.”

“Yeah, not a chance pal. I doubt very much you’d be of any use in this state.”

“Hey.” He pouted rolling over so he was on his back, turning to look at her as she moved to climb out of bed. “That’s my shirt.”

“I know.” She dropped to the floor to take off his suede boots.

“I like you in my shirts. I like you better out of them.” Steve grinned, grabbing hold of her as she stood up.

“How much have you had?” She laughed as he pulled her onto his lap, nuzzling into her neck.

“Enuff.” he spoke back, voice muffled. “You know you’re the prettiest gal in the whole world?” He peeked up at her and she had to laugh as she ruffled his hair. 

“Arms up.”

“I like it when you undress me.” He grinned and Katie gave a chuckle, shaking her head.  Eventually she managed to tug off his shirt and his jeans whilst he made some other reference to sex, before he pulled her back down onto the bed next to him, giggling like a school kid.

“Bucky told me.” He slurred.

“Told you what?”

“That he asked you to shoot him.” Steve hiccupped “But I’m glad you didn’t have to.”

Katie chuckled to herself “Me too.” “And now he’s all better.” Steve sighed. “Good, isn’t it?” “It’s awesome.” Shhe smiled, reaching up to bush his hair off his face. “You’re gonna be so hungover tomorrow.” He responded with shrug. “But I do love you. So much.”

“I know and I love you too. Now you gonna get into bed?”

He pushed himself up before beginning a monumental fight with the duvet to get underneath it, the whole thing a great source of amusement to Katie. She’d seen him tipsy from the Asgardian stuff Thor gave him before, but not flat out shit faced like this.

“Are you gonna puke?” She asked, stroking his head as he sighed, nuzzling into her chest. 

“No.” He assured her, then paused, before he hiccupped slightly. “But I think I need water.” “Alright, wait there.” Katie climbed out of bed. She grabbed him a bottle from the mini fridge near the door but by the time she had turned back, Steve had his face buried into his pillow and made nothing more than a noise when she offered it to him, not looking up. Deciding she couldn’t be bothered to argue with him, she gently placed the bottle on the night stand next to him, and ran her hand through his hair one more time before she crossed to her side of the bed and settled down with him.

“Night, Soldier.” She smiled softly, kissing his cheek.

“Night, Princess.” He slurred into his pillow.

**** Chapter 35

**Original Posting**

[1994sunflower]

I know that you’ve talked about what happened when Michael met y/n’s parents for the first time I was curious what happened when y/n met Michael’s parents?

I mean honestly, with them, meeting parents isnt ever going to be a smooth ride lol

so hty!Michael isn’t really close with his family

like at all

so you really were the one that kept pestering him about introducing you to his parents

because while you knew they had problems, you wanted to meet the people that gave birth to the most important person in your life

wanted them to know how special he was, at least to you

and michael was pretty hesitant about it

straight up saying no a lot of the times you brought it up

just because he didn’t think they deserved to meet you

wanted to keep the person he loved the most away from them and whatever they could tell you about him and what he used to be like before you met

but you kept asking

because it was important to you

he had met your parents

and you thought that in order to take that one last step to having a more serious relationship, you had to meet his

so he finally relented

which didnt seem like a big deal

but the fact was that he had to contact his parents for the first time in a long time to set up a time and place

and he wasn’t exactly ecstatic about it

tbh part of him was surprised they even agreed

you on the otherhand were over the moon, wanting to make a good impression so you tittered nervously about it in the weeks leading up to meeting them

you fussed over what to wear, how you should act, imagined what they were like

i mean you didn’t exactly have a great perception of them since michael never talked to them and part of you did wonder just how they treated him to make him be so….emotionally closed off

but still you wanted them to like you because you were in michael’s life and didn’t have any plans on leaving

so it would hurt if they thought that you weren’t a good fit or see you as too different to be someone michael should be with like everyone else thought

michael on the other hand thought that if anything, they should be the ones groveling to make a good impression on you

tbh they should feel honored you wanted to and were giving them the time of day

and he told you as much

but that didnt stop you from wearing your prettiest dress and asking him questions about how you should talk, how you should address them, if you should bring a present or something

he on the other hand didnt dress up special at all and nearly laughed at your nerves

“i barely even call them mom and dad, call them whatever the fuck you want. i won’t be offended."

but he softened his tone when you scowled at him

it was just so wholesome that you thought his family deserved your kindness and your optimism at a nice family reunion which would not happen

he told you that his parents would love you

and he was fairly certain they would

if anything, they’d be wondering how the hell he managed to snatch you

not that he could blame them

and he was right, of course

when you finally met his parents, the grin on your face and little peppy way you stood on your tippy toes when you shook their hands because you were so excited and they were taller than you

made them look so caught off guard michael almost laughed

whatever they had been expecting, it had not been the sweet petite girl in front of them in the baby blue dress

but it wasnt a joke, even as they continued to wonder when they shook your hand hesitantly and looked between each other

because right after you had introduced yourself and told them how amazing it was to meet them and how much you had been wanting to meet mikey’s parents like the polite girl you were raised to be

their son took you in his arms, your back hitting his chest, his tattoos almost seeming like graffitied wall protecting you from them

and you melted into him like you belonged there, in his arms

plus they werent sure when the last time their son looked anything but angry and resentful in their presence

but now he looked tense still but with a certain level of calmness they didn’t think he was capable of

their silence maybe worried you a bit, thinking it was due to you, maybe you were being too much, maybe they were offended by you calling them mr. and mrs. clifford

you hadnt meant to make them feel old or anything

but michael’s mother was the first to break out of her shock

and her smile was weak, almost like she was used to walking around eggshells, but her words were welcoming

michael’s father was a bit more aloof but you assumed that was where michael got his personality from

you were just glad they were so open and kind with you

asking you questions about yourself, about you and michael

they warmed up to you quick and obviously liked talking to you

and you were so grateful that they liked you right from the get go with you just being yourself - even though they were different from you, just like michael was  

definitely paying attention at each affectionate, intimate gesture between you

that michael allowed

gestures like that with their son ended a long time ago and they couldnt believe how different he seemed from the last time they saw him

not that different though because he was still as unmannerly as possible which seemed to be highlighted when next to you who were trying extra hard to be as polite and well mannered as possible

it came to a rear when you started mentioning about michael when he was younger

honestly just wanting cute baby stories or what he was like in high school because you always wondered how different life would be if you had met years before

but that just caused some snarky remarks from michael’s father

which made it very obvious where the strain between michael and his parents laid

indifference and lack of belief in him, almost lack of care and his resentment and determination to show all their bad assumptions about him true

it lead to a very tense conversation between michael and his father just short of screaming with his mother doing nothing to come to his defense

so you did

and it took a lot of guts

especially because you wanted them to like you so much yet here you were standing against them, denying and defending michael with your last breath, basically serving as a shield between you and michael

even with how small and fragile you looked

and the silence that followed was deafening

michael because he was so in love and grateful and his parents because they really were surprised at what they were hearing and this new side of their son

but part of what made you radiate so much goodness was your ability to make others feel that

so eventually things de-escalated

michael was still as snappy as always and didnt really talk to his parents except to grumble and glare but you served as a buffer

so it didnt end in complete disaster

and his parents did end up liking you, told michael that at the end of the day

not that michael cared if they liked you or not

their opinion wouldnt have changed anything

the only reason he even let them meet you was because you wanted it

otherwise, michael would never have let his perfect girlfriend waste her time with them

plus of course they would like you, how could someone not especially when they were never expecting him to have someone  they saw to be out of his league

you were a keeper

even told you that you could call them mom and dad

please michael would actually recoil and tell you not to because they did not deserve that

to which you glared at him to be nice because you thought it was a sweet gesture and made you think of eventually getting married to him which obviously made you very happy

and you were still glad you had met them, despite everything

because you got to show them how important and special michael was

they definitely saw that in the way you loved him

[rightsockjin]

A Little Bit of Stress

Summary: You and Namjoon haven’t had sex in God knows how long because of your mutually busy lives. Namjoon was stressed for the next comeback and you had students to motivate but how were you supposed to focus on your job when all you could think about was your boyfriend naked?

Rating: M

Genre: Smut, Fluff, tiny Angst

Word count: 14,456

Warnings: There is sex in this. Oral. Female receiving. Sexual spanking and playful spanking. Erotica…duh. BIg dick energy. And literal. You can feel it in your guts ladies and gents. Fingering, slight dirty talk. na na na na na na na na na na na na Soft DomJOON! A little angst if you squint. Very fluffy. Namjoon loves reader with all he’s got. Unprotected sex. Multiple orgasms. Nipple play-kinda. Bratty reader. Slight choking. Sensitive neck Joon. Ear eating.

Please don’t repost without permission. I worked really hard on this y’all.

`-admin OperaNickle

    Stress. It was the root of nearly all of your problems.

    Whether it was your skin breaking out in places it never did before, or his sour mood that seemed to swing from mild discomfort to full on don’t-touch-me-or-I-will-scream, it was getting to you both.

   Currently, you were sitting on the warm beige couch that Joon had insisted on buying after you complained about the white one that the apartment had come with. You dropped your coffee all over it and painstakingly scrubbed it for hours with a resulting light brown stain.

Your hands were resting on top of one of the dark brown throw pillows you’d bought soon after, triggering his own purchase of an oversized, red orange, paisley rug to match. It was never ending. He’d purchase something, then you would equal it or outdo him.

   You had pointed out one time after he’d bought the most outrageous and expensive thing yet– a dark brown mahogany wood coffee table that looked like an old time-y trunk– that he was furnishing your apartment and that it was a waste of his money. He’d merely chuckled and commented on the sheer amount of time he had been spending at your place since you two  had become more than just friends.

  “I’m just trying to repay you for all of the food I consume when I’m here. Really, you’re the one who’s losing since you have to put up with me.”

   Still, you had made up your mind to somehow repay him for all of the things he continued to buy without your consent. He may be well off –that being an understatement– but he didn’t need to be throwing his money at you. You had a job. A fairly okay one at that. You could buy your own furnishings and feed him when he was over. Another reason for your submission to his lavish, albeit over the top, gift giving was because it had clearly been established as his love language. How could you say no to the way he expressed his feelings?

   The slam of the refrigerator door alerted you from the story you had been reading on your phone. Your fingers accidentally scrolled right and closed the chapter you were on, causing the app to suddenly glitch and close. Your heart sank.

   You frantically clicked on the app to open it and when the loading screen popped up you knew it was a lost cause. You hadn’t saved the story, nor had you memorized the title or author.

   You slumped in your seat letting out an audible groan of pure frustration. You had just been getting to the good part. The part you had started reading the story for in the first place, and just like your sanity, it was robbed at the worst time possible.

   “Damn it! Pinche iPhone de la pinche fucking madre, oh my God!”

   You let the phone drop with a ringing thud on a spot on the floor. It was slightly muffled by the fibers of the rug, but your voice was loud and shrill. From his place in the kitchen, Joon looked over. Out of the corner of your eye you could see the glare on his face shift into confusion. He leaned on the bar that stood between the living room and kitchen and took two deep, calming breaths.

   You were getting on his nerves. You could tell. It wasn’t his fault or even yours. He was constantly under a lot of pressure and recently he’d hit a rut working on one of the verses of his songs. Itt seemed to travel to everything he worked on. The melody he’d been producing that had been flowing out of him like a smooth river;  stuck. The lyrics to his next solo song that had been as easy as speaking; cut short. The rap line song that had been his idea; missing only his part now.

   The frustration and dissatisfaction had bled into his personal life. To be more specific, you. He’d been at your apartment almost daily. Something about how you usually get him to relax and therefore out of any writer’s block he’d have but now it didn’t seem to be working. On the contrary, you seemed  to be making it worse.

   It was torturous. To have him in your bed and not able to touch him or sooth him in any way was the definition of your own personal hell. He showered late at night after he got in from work on most days unless it was the weekend, in which case he showered at around nine to sleep a full eight hours or more. Then he woke up on the earlier side of the morning to try and write from the comfort of his – your – “our” couch. That usually lasted until you woke up, made some sort of breakfast that he pecked at then threw away because his lack of inspiration made “food taste bland”.

   In a way, you felt inadequate. Your sole wish in this relationship was to make his life easier and you hadn’t been able to satiate him for one single second. You had always prided yourself on being able to calm him down, and this no longer seemed to be one of your strengths.

   He even wasn’t as affectionate as usual. Now, you weren’t the kind of person to let things like this get to you. It was a dip. A problem that would eventually turn into a hill. The lower you fall the higher you rise . It was just a fact of  life…so why did you suddenly feel like you were walking on eggshells and he was throwing them at your feet?

   “Are you okay? Don’t think I’ve heard you curse like that…ever,” Namjoon said, sounding apprehensive.

   Your pulse raced as the unfinished scene raced through your mind.

   Namjoon caressed your cheek, his fingers rough from working out. His voice, deep. Gruff. Like he’d just woken up.

   “Oh baby,” he whispered in your ear. His warm breath tracing the shell. A shiver ran up your spine that he pretended not to notice.

   “Do you know how much I’ve missed you,” he kissed your earlobe, letting his tongue dart out for a split second to lav at the tender skin, “Your voice,” he kissed the shell with a slightly open mouth, “ your lips…”

  He traced your ear with his tongue, strong from all the rapping and his accurate pronunciation of every single syllable. You couldn’t help but sigh as a blush tracked up your body and settled in your cheeks.

   “Joon-“

   “Shhhh,” he whispered, still working at your ear, “just relax baby. Let me take care of you. Let me love you.”

   “Y/N,” Joon said a little louder, snapping you out of your reverie. Your breath was coming shorter, your own mind trying frantically to fill in what you hadn’t read. Did he kiss her next? Where were his hands? Still on her cheek? Was he as turned on as she was? What did he mean by “take care” of her?

   “What,” you said, trying and failing to keep the slight bite from your voice. Regret filled you instantly. It wasn’t his fault that the app was glitchy.

   His eyes widened, taken aback by your tone. Great. Now you made it worse. You must have hurt his feelings.

   “What crawled up your ass,” he asked, succeeding in keeping his tone playful and soft but it still agitated you.

    You felt a lick of fire flicked against your chest. Anger boiled in your stomach. He didn’t mean it. You knew that. Just as you hadn’t meant the snappy way you’d answered, but the monster inside of you was ready to growl.

   You bit your lip trying to keep the retort in your throat. If you snapped again, he’d just leave. He didn’t need to be here. He had a dorm and people much nicer to be around. If you wanted to be alone for the next couple of days, it would be the perfect way to do it.

   “Is it work still,” he asked again, his features softening once again in concern.

   The monster retreated as quickly as it had come. The way he seemed to search your whole body as if it could tell him without your words what was wrong was endearing.

   “Yes.”

   It wasn’t a total lie. He’d said “still” and yes, it was a part of your major frustration. Not only was your boyfriend being uncharacteristically cold but your students seemed to be trying less and less every class. It was like no one cared to learn English or to study anymore. Perhaps it was you. Maybe it was that you just weren’t as good of a teacher as you had thought.

   It had been plaguing you. Every time you walked into class, ready to inspire someone, yet they all seemed to want to run the other way.  It was always in the back of your head. What if you lost your job? You would get kicked out of South Korea for sure. You weren’t a citizen. You weren’t married to one… not even close…

   If you were sent back to the US, your parents would never let you hear the end of it. The “I told you so” s and reprimanding glares. The way they would no longer be able to brag about how brave and smart you were. It was eating away at you.

   Of course, you hadn’t told Joon all of this. His job was enough to keep him up for days without his girlfriend adding to the pile. You knew you should tell him what was really wrong, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You couldn’t tell him how crappy you’d been feeling without suddenly making the problem about you and not him and his much busier and more important life.

   It had been steadily building. The anger. The frustration. The guilt. That, coupled with Joon’s complete disdain of your touch, had your own stress going through the roof. you couldn’t even remember the last time he’d made out with you, let alone had any sort of intimate moment.

   So there you were. Frustrated. In far too many ways to count and no real way to fix it unless you wanted to do it yourself and honestly, you didn’t have enough alone time to actually try. As a result, you’d been scarfing down erotica fictions about your own boyfriend. The irony was not lost on you.

   The only problem was that now that you knew what he was like in real life, all the renditions of him were just a bit off. You found yourself rewriting the fiction as you went, trying to imagine what the real Joon would do in that situation. Some were too out there to even consider reading. Some too perverse even for you. Some were so far from the real life Namjoon that they made you laugh but this one, the one that you had been reading before your stupid phone glitched, was very close to what you would assume Namjoon would act like.

   The fake Namjoon was sweet. He was tender and called his girlfriend baby and jagi like he did to you almost exclusively in place of your name. He’d hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek multiple times softly just to remind her that he loved her.. He’d admire her hair and stared at her features as if committing them to his memory for later use. It was so purely Namjoon that it almost felt as if it was really him who had written it. Just for you. So you could have him when he was gone or unavailable. It had felt so real…

   “Too many papers to grade?”

His very much real voice jarred you once again from your thoughts. It seemed he’d been doing that a lot lately. Or maybe you were just dozing off too often.

   “Something like that,” you answered, crossing your arms over your chest. His oversized hoodie curling under your arms. You brushed a long braid over your shoulder with a satisfied grunt and let yourself slide onto the floor before you. Like his hoodie, you crumpled on the rug next to your phone which lay face down. Namjoon’s face winked up at you from one of the many photo cards of him you had and you couldn’t help but smile back at the miniscule Joon. You couldn’t help it. His smile made you smile. Too bad you hadn’t seen the real one in ages.

   Gentle footsteps resonated off the white walls. You didn’t move. Your eyes glued to the ceiling as they got closer and you let your arms fall limply to your side. His face appeared directly in your line of vision, the ghost of a dimple on his left cheek as he half smiled for what felt like the first time in years. He looked down at your unmoving form.

   “It’s got you all jelly like,” he said nudging your hip with his toes. You scrunch your nose in distaste.

   “Don’t poke me you dork,” you hissed, still not moving, having found a comfortable position.

   Namjoon rolled his eyes but sat down next to your head, his legs stretched out before him as he picked up the remote for the TV and went on Netflix. Within seconds you could hear the familiar music of your favorite franchise playing and you jerked unattractively to see.

   The coffee table was in the way.

   “Is that what I think it is,” you asked him, rolling your eyes to the back of your head to try to see him without moving.

   “Why don’t you move over so that you can see for yourself?”

    He patted his muscular thighs as an invitation. Did he want you to sit on him or lay your head on his legs?

   You straddled him. Your hands rested on his shoulders as his smile grew. He was getting hard. You could tell, but his face remained simply at ease.. As if you were the most gorgeous painting he had ever seen and his sole job was to admire you. The only signs of his arousal were his dilating pupils and the third leg in his pants.

   “Mmm,” you hummed looking back at the ceiling, “I’m kind of comfortable.”

   You heard him scoff and couldn’t help the slight smile that graced your lips at his disbelief that mingled with amusement.

   “Come on baby,” he groaned, “you’re going to turn down my thighs for the floor?”

   “I don’t want to move Namjoon,” you argued, breathing deep so that your chest rose high enough to see through the excess fabric on your body. You could sense his eyes on you. Or was that your own desire tainting your perception?

   “But… my thighs… and Harry Potter…” he whined. God, you loved it when he whined. Usually when you were being a huge brat and he turned into a puppy. It was delicious.  

   “But, the floor and my comfort,” you retorted, twitching your open fingers just for fun.

   “Jagiyaaaa,” he groaned, grabbing the hand you’d just moved. He pulled on it to get you to move closer. Your head hit the side of his leg that was mostly covered by his black shorts. The small trip had cleared your view to the TV and you smiled triumphantly.

   “Thanks Joon, now I can see,” you cackled as he let go of your hand and you turned on your side to see clearly. Professor Dumbledore had just started talking to a small cat with glasses.

               For a couple of minutes, you sat in silence and his annoyance seemed to return. Just as the floor was staring to get uncomfortable and you were regretting your stupid choice to stay on the floor and not his thighs, one of his hands dropped down onto your eyes, blocking your vision entirely.

   “Joon,” you said stiffly and you tried in vain to pry his… delectable… hands from your face.

   “You either lay on my lap and watch the movie with me, or not at all,” he joked as you continued to wrestle with his long fingers.

   “How am I supposed to get on your lap if you’re holding me down genius?”

   “Oh sorry,” he said, lifting his hand then used both of them to place your head on his right thigh. You begrudgingly settled yourself on his muscular leg, thought internally you were cheering, pulling your braids out from under your body and over his lap. Out of the corner of your eyes, you saw him looking at your hair with innocent desire.

   “Jagi,” he said running his fingers over one of the braids that nearly touched the floor over his muscles, “can I play with your hair?”

   Namjoon ran a hand through your hair, sniffing it.

   “Jagi, you smell so good…” he said as he scratched your scalp lightly, “can I play with your hair?”

   You choked on your own saliva for a second. You couldn’t swallow and you brought your hand up to cover your lips in case you coughed but the moment passed and your skin flushed as you imagined the short story again.

   “Uh…ye-yeah. Go for it.”

   Namjoon hesitated but pulled the hair ties off the ends of your hair and very slowly and tenderly began to undo the knots that made up your Dutch braids. It would be frizzy when he was done but you could always throw it up in a bun later. Besides, this was one of those things that you just absolutely adored about Namjoon.

   He liked to play with your hair. It was soothing.. When you had mentioned it to Joon once as an anecdote that you enjoyed this action, he’d taken it upon himself to do it when he was sleeping over to help you drift off faster. He’d told you that he had an affinity for grooming people and the fact that you had mentioned that you enjoyed such ministrations made him excited.

   His fingers drew small circles near the front of your head as he finished unbraiding one side of hair. Your eyes drooped as he stopped his small drawings and started to undo the other braid.

   His fingers were skilled–there was no doubt about it–in many, many, ways, but maybe this was your favorite. You sighed, letting him massage your scalp as the movie played. You let your eyes close as the feeling of his hand on your head lulled you.

   After a few blissful moments you realized you were falling asleep and you jumped up, throwing his hand off your head and nearly hitting his chin with your skull.

   Joon’s eyes widened with surprise and confusion as he waited for an explanation. You smiled at the man before you cleared your throat and spoke.

   “I was falling asleep.”

   Namjoon relaxed his shoulder. He had been scared he’d done something wrong,

   “That’s okay baby. I just want you to relax,” he said, pushing your head towards his lap again but you pulled his hand away and straddled his lap before stretching your legs behind him and hooking your ankles together.

   “What are you doing,” he asked, his breath hitching as you rested your hands on his chest. You leaned into him slowly and rubbed your nose on his before nuzzling against his cheek.

   “It’s not fair that I’m the only one relaxing,” you answered, bringing his hand back up to your head and he sighed, tangling his fingers once again. You did the same, running your hand from the nape of his neck and up to his scalp.

   He let out a slow breath when you clutched at the strands and buried your head in his neck, running your lips over the skin there.

   He had a sensitive neck. Whether it was sensually or just on the daily, he loved neck kisses. So you delivered without complaint.

   As you pressed your lips softly on his pulse you couldn’t help but feel elated. Finally. He was letting you help. Finally, he was holding you like he used to. You couldn’t bring yourself to ask “why” as you usually would. You were too scared to shatter the moment. If all you got from him were caresses in your hair and all you got to give were kisses on his neck, then it would all be worth it.

   One of his hands began to draw on your mid to lower back and you couldn’t help but curl around his body. Tighter. Closer. If you could suddenly melt into him and become one, you would do it  in a heartbeat. But this was enough. For now.

   You lightly bit his neck in a couple of different places, letting your tongue lick small stripes in the same place before kissing the saliva away.  His breath deepened further. His hold on your body tightened as well, like he was trying to pull you into him. Both of his hands were splayed out on your torso. His fingers dig into the fabric of his hoodie on your body and his head lulled to the side so you could have better access.

   Elation filled you to the brim. To have him so pliant under your touch was all you could ask for. Him letting you take care of him; that’s all you wanted.

   You used the hand that had a grip on his hair to maneuver his head to meet your mouth.  You kissed up the tendon in his neck slowly, taking your time to appreciate his smooth skin.

   “Oh baby,” he groaned. His mouth was so close to your ear that his breath grazed the shell. A shiver ran up your spine as you kissed his jaw. You struggled to keep yourself present. It was about him. Not about you.

   “Jagiya,” he husked trying to move his head to try to kiss you. You held him firmly in place.

   He groaned again, this time in frustration. He wasn’t used to you taking control. It was always him who took the reins but the last thing he needed at this moment was to take care of you.

   “It’s okay baby,” you mumbled against his sideburns, “just let me take care of you.”

   You planted a soft kiss on his ear. You felt his body convulse. His legs began to fidget under your body. His hips bucked and his hands grasped at your waist as if to still you. It was too late. You could feel his arousal. Slowly, he was hardening as you continued to kiss and suck at his golden skin.

   “Wait wait,” he said, ripping you from his jugular and holding you at arms length. His breath was heavy, almost as if he had been running.  His pupils were dilated and his skin was flushed from his neck to the tips of his ears.

   Sinful. This picture of your boyfriend clearly turned on by the simplest stroke of your lips and fingers, was sinful. And Lord were you a sinner.

   You bit your lip, keeping a growl from ripping from your mouth. You could lose control. Maybe you were the one who was riled up. Your pulse thumped against your neck, your chest… your panties… it’s been too long. Much too long for your liking.

   “Wait for what,” you complained, clenching and unclenching your fingers in his lush locks. You ground your hips once down , pushing into his lap to create friction. He grunted, squeezing your waist to stop you from moving, but you wiggled and squirmed in his grasp managing to get a couple more strokes against his rapidly hardening erection.

   “Hold on,” he spat through gritted teeth, pushing you back and off his lap. The heat in your body seemed to pulsate in your veins as you watched him trying to catch his breath. His shorts were tented. His muscles flexed as if he was trying to stop his body’s reaction, his eyes lidded and his head heavy on his shoulders.

   You couldn’t understand why he had stopped you. He seemed to want it as much or maybe even a little more than you did.

   Suddenly, fear gripped you like a vice. The heat drained and in that moment, you felt stupid. How could you throw yourself at him like that? He’d asked you to stop and yet here you were pushing.

   You pushed yourself away from him a little more and hugged your legs to your chest and placed your forehead on your knees. Tears sprung into your eyes. You tried to keep them quiet but it was hard to breathe. Emotion consumed you. Just because his body reacted did not mean that he wanted what you did.

   Guilt flooded your head like a fog as you felt your body begin to shake. Maybe he just didn’t want you anymore. Maybe… maybe the couple of months that the two of you had as more than friends were enough for him. Maybe he realized that you were better as friends. That would explain his lack of affection. His lack of interest. That would explain his rut.

   “Whoa whoa, Y/N, what’s wrong? Why are you crying,” you heard his voice ask. His hand patting your head to try to get you to look up. You could feel your hair fanned around your arms and were grateful for the extra cover. You hated crying in front of people and he was no exception. In fact, you hated it even more.

   When you gave no answer, you felt him shift closer. He pulled your hair back into a makeshift ponytail . Air hit your burning cheeks but you refused to look at him.

   “Oh baby what did I do,” he asked but it didn’t seem aimed at you. You felt him press his own forehead to the back of your head. He nuzzled into your now frizzy hair and placed a gentle kiss. you felt your shoulder shake as you struggled to breathe.

   A sob escaped your lips and like a dam, it burst forward. It was ugly, to say the least. You hadn’t realized how much emotion you had been holding back. Hadn’t realized how bottled up you had been. Now you were paying for it.

   How embarrassing.

   “Y/N no,” he said, pulling at your legs and replacing them with this body. He wrapped his arms around your torso and settled your arms onto his shoulders. He cradled your head against his neck and kept his hand on the nape of your neck

   “Shhh baby it’s okay… it’s all going to be okay. Just tell me what I did. I’m so sorry…”

     How had you gotten here? How did you end up on the floor of your apartment with tears in your eyes when all you wanted was to kiss his stress away?

   You sat together like this for what felt like forever. Eventually, he pulled you back onto his lap. You assumed because it was more comfortable for hi than squatting on his knees.

   He didn’t ask again what it was that he did. He didn’t question the tears. Instead, he stroked your hair and kissed your cheeks while you calmed down. You felt guilty. You owed him an explanation but you could feel it in your bones that you wouldn’t be able to speak if you tried.

   Finally, you were able to breathe normally but you stayed in his arms for a couple seconds more in case he pushed you off again after he realized that you were feeling ok.

   You slowly pulled your head from his neck and searched around on the floor for one of the hair ties that he’d pulled from your hair earlier. There was one near your phone.

   You quickly tied your hair up and away from your tear stained face, letting the cool air conditioning hit your skin. Joon watched you, waiting on bated breath, but you didn’t want to talk.

   You let your hands rest on your own thighs as his hoodie sleeves covered your hands entirely. You must have looked pitiful. Hopefully you weren’t too red and puffy.

   You couldn’t bring yourself to get off of him so you simply sat waiting for him to break the silence. Maybe he had the same idea because he didn’t speak either. He let his hands fall to your hips and pressed softly into the flesh soothingly.

   You took a shaky breath trying to give yourself courage but- thank God- Joon beat you to it.

   “Baby… are you upset because I pushed you away? I just needed a second to cal down.”

          Baby? Would he still call you baby if he didn’t want to date you? Maybe he didn’t know how to end it and so he was trying to keep you from finding out that he wasn’t feeling it anymore. Baby. you remember when he first called you baby and even though it hadn’t been your favorite name to be called from previous lovers, when it had come from his lips, from his heart…it was different. It was praise. It made you feel warm and like you were glowing. Yet, this time, it was like he’d stabbed you with a heated knife somewhere below your ribcage.

          “If you don’t want me anymore you should just tell me,” your mouth said. Your voice sounded foreign. As if it had come from someone else. What you said surprised you almost as much as it surprised him. His eyes widened and searched your face.

          “Not-not want you,” he stuttered, a laugh barely concealed in his surprise, “are you kidding?”

          Ignoring your fear at how you appeared after your pity party, you snapped your head up to look at him. A small smile rested on his lips and the deeper of his dimples showed slightly. While there was worry behind his gaze, there was another emotion, deep within the brown of his eyes. It was mirth. He thought this was funny.

          “Namjoon,” you raised your voice, trying to keep your own smile at bay. You swatted at his arms and he feigned hurt.

          “What,” he yelled letting uncharacteristically dashing chuckles escape his lips, “You can’t expect me to think you’re being serious.”

          “I am being serious-“

          “Ahahaha,” his loud and somewhat funny laugh was back and with it your own smile. It felt like you hadn’t heard it in so long. Sure, he laughed when he was on run episodes or when he was with the boys but it seemed like around you, he was always down. It was nice to have him laughing even if it was at you.

          “Joon! Stop laughing, I’m not kidding!”

          He laughed even harder at that. His laugh reached a level of loudness that made your ears ring but you didn’t care. He looked happier than he had in weeks. You couldn’t help but chuckle along as he laughed until they subsided into snickers. All the while you continuously poked and pushed at his shoulders playfully.

          When he was finally composed enough to make direct eye contact, he cleared his throat and widened his pretty eyes at you as he tended to do after he heard a good joke. His smile was glued to his face as he rubbed circles into the hoodie.

          “Do you really think,” he couldn’t help but cough as he tried to stop another fit of laughter from escaping, “that I would ever, and I mean ever,” he paused, his fingers slipping down almost deafly to the hem of the hoodie you were wearing, “not want you?”

          You blinked at him as his eyes glittered, darkening impossibly so. It was like a switch was flicked and the small amount of lust that you’d seen before was back. Nimble fingers found their way under the oversized fabric on your body. His touch was slightly cold to the skin on your stomach. It sharply contrasted the heat that seemed to rush into your cheeks and your ears.

          “Well,” you managed with little to no effort, “it’s been weeks since I’ve so much as kissed you…” His index finger had found the lace of the bralette you were wearing. His thumb hooked under the soft edge and tugged at it slightly. Distracting. He was so distracting.

          “So-so I thought maybe it was something I had done,” you said in one breath as his thumb dug a little higher under the elastic that clung to your ribs to keep your breasts in place. Just in the nick of time too. Had he done it just one second earlier, you would have probably become mute for once in your life. A feat only Namjoon could achieve.

          “That’s on me,” he said suddenly halting his progressing fingers, his shoulders sagging, “I’m sorry I’ve been so distant lately.”

Namjoon rested his forehead on yours. His eyes shut tight as his apology fell from his pink lips.

          He stroked the section of skin under the pad of his thumb, the tip just barely brushing the underside of your breast. You felt a wave of heat rush through your body. Was it getting hot? Should you close the curtains?

          “I’ve just been stressed and I didn’t want to blow up on you. At the same time, well… I miss you and I feel the most comfortable around you. I don’t ever feel like I have to pretend that I’m alright. I didn’t mean to make you feel unappreciated.”

          When had his other hand found your bare waist? Had his voice distracted you? When had the rest of his fingers ended up under the soft lace of the bralette? Had his thumb traveled further?

         “I didn’t mean to…deprive you,” He whispered, forcing you forward to catch his low words. In hindsight, it was a trap. That’s exactly what he wanted but could you fight him when he sounded so delicious?

          Your thoughts were cut short when his hand on your chest shifted completely, cupping and gently squeezing. Your eyes widened, mouth dropping open in surprise. He gave another firm squeeze as his eyes squinted cutely, his high pitched giggle returning, like music to your ears as he leaned even closer and bumped his nose against yours.

          “Kim Namjoon,” you gasped but it was eaten up as he quickly connected his lips to yours in a spurt of short, chaste kisses that had you chasing after him. Frustration flooded your veins as he continued to pull away, leaving you wanting more and more the more he gave.

          Finally, having had enough, you grabbed his head with both of your hands and tilted it up slightly so you could kiss him properly. Forcing him to slow down. He would be in control soon enough. You should enjoy the power you had while you could.

          You forced your lips onto his. The kiss was soft, slow, passionate. He melted into it. He always did like when you took a hold of him in some way or another. Sinful, beautiful noises escaped his lips. His small moans seemed  to absorb into your pores. In turn you couldn’t help but answer each and every one of them. He nibbled on your bottom lip for a second, an action that you couldn’t get enough of and he knew, then went right back to sucking on your upper lip.

          “Fuck,” you could feel the arousal in your throat. He made you lose yourself. He made you forget where you were, who you were.

          “That’s right baby girl,” he groaned into your mouth as you licked his lips, “that’s exactly what I’m going to do to you.”

          You moaned. It was embarrassing how easily you could come undone under his ministrations. If you could kiss him for eons, you would. His lips were your favorite bit of him. He was so. Fucking. Good.

          “Baby please,” you groaned pulling at his lip with your teeth, “I want you…”

          “Shit,” he said, a gurgle of want bubbling from his throat. You shifted, trying to remind him of his hands on your body but what it did instead was remind you of another part of him that seemed almost as excited as you were.

          “Jagi,” he hissed, shifting his hips to get the same friction you’d just created, “do that again.”

          You pulled your lips from his, a thin strand of saliva connecting you. In any other situation, this would be gross, but in that instant, it only spurred you on more.

          “Yes sir,” you joked, winking at him as you rolled your hips against his half hard erection. A melody of noises fell from his blessed tongue. Lust was over taking you. Your eyelids became heavy. Your breath, shallow and hard.

          “You know that’s not what I want you to call me,” he hissed at you, his fingers on your chest picking at the nipple that had hardened at some point while you made out. You sighed, your tongue darting out to wet your parched lips but you knew that the thirst you were feeling could not be quenched this way.

          “Say my name,” he growled, twisting his finger and pulling at the sensitive skin. You were panting now, slowing your movements on his lap to enjoy his cares.

          You whimpered, pushing your chest into his hand, arching your back as you struggled to draw any breath.

          “Come on baby girl,” he pressed, his lips brushing against your neck. When had he gotten to your neck?

          “Just once,” he begged but you knew he wasn’t asking.

          “Make me ,” you gasped as he bit and sucked at your pulse. A smile tugged at your lips as you felt him stop and tense.

          He pulled his lips from your neck, a lewd squelch resonating in the empty apartment as he brought his eyes level with you. He withdrew his hand as well without even a warning and you whined, thought you knew this would happen as soon as you started to fight him. It was worth it though. You knew he always worked better under a little pressure.

          “Just what I needed to hear.”

          He shifted under you, locking your ankles behind his back. He then locked your hands behind his neck. You weren’t stupid. You could see where this was going. Now, Namjoon was obviously very smart. It was  obvious. But sometimes, on most occasions, he lacked the common sense to make proper choices.

          This was one of those times.

          “Hold on tight baby,” he winked, kissing your lips once more before pushing himself up by doing a bench dip with his knees bent. Namjoon had a lot of thigh and arm muscle. This much was true, but was he used to lifting both his body weight and your own? No.

          So when he started to shake under the joined pressure, it wasn’t a surprise. You would have laughed but Lord were you scared that he would fall, or drop you or hurt himself. Instead, you struggled to decide if you should be holding onto him for dear life or if you should fling yourself off him to avoid any major injury to either of you.

          The decision was taken from you as his left arm bent at a slightly awkward angle and his balance was thrown. Instinctively, you let go of him to brace yourself as the swooping sensation of falling gripped you with fear.

          You couldn’t tell exactly how it happened. Your eyes fell shut as you landed heavily on your side. Your elbow hitting first as you reached out to stop your momentum.

          “Ow,” you couldn’t help but groan as sharp pain shot through your arm. You heard Namjoon gasp near you but all you could see was stars. You began to giggle uncontrollably as tears streamed down your face.

          “Oh your God, Y/N are you alright,” he said, sitting you up with his strong arms. You couldn’t stop laughing. You’d hit your damn funny bone and in all honesty, this was a funny situation. Sex with Namjoon was nothing if not eventful and filled with awkward mishaps.

          “I’m fine,” you said through laughter, “i just hit my elbow.”

          You blinked away the tears in your lashes, looking up at the dope of a man that you were in love with. Worry was evident on his brows. He looked you over before taking your arm in his hand and examining the red mark where you had landed.

          “Does it hurt a lot? Do you think it’s broken,” he asked, touching it lightly but no pain was felt on your end. Perhaps it was the adrenaline, or maybe it was the fact that nothing, and you meant nothing- could stop you from taking this man in this very instant, but you couldn’t care less if your arm was broken. Hell, it could have been hanging off by a thread and you’d still want to have a quickie before we went to emergency care.

          Could you blame yourself? The man was gorgeous.

          This was, in fact, what you were focusing on at the moment. The way that his hair fell into his dark eyes. The way his jaw contrasted with his round cheeks. How his lips were slightly parted as he examined your arm with utmost delicacy. His shoulders. His neck. The veins in his muscular arms. His long… nimble…fingers…

          “Joon,” you snapped a bit harsher than you had meant to. His eyes shot up to meet yours, confused and shocked.

          “Did I hurt you…” he averted his eyes shyly, “More?”

          “Oh honey no,” you laughed, though this time you cut yourself off as you caught a glimpse of his hardening member under the loose shorts he was sporting, “I’m hoping you might though.”

          You weren’t much into pain and Namjoon knew this very well, but these words were enough to pull him back at what was at stake. You.

          “Are you sure,” he asked one last time, fighting with his own concern and sky rocketing arousal.

          “Very sure,” you said, pushing yourself up to your knees to kiss his cheek then ducking your head to kiss his neck.

          A shiver ran down his whole body. His eyes closed and squinted. His bulge twitched slightly and you couldn’t stop the smirk on your face. You reached out and ran a single finger over the tented area, drawing little circles as you worked your way to the tip.

          “Oh fuck,” he whispered gruffly wrapping his fingers around your wrist and pulling it away from his body. You giggled as he let his eyes fall open, a chastising spark in his pupils. Oh you were so going to get it.

          “Close the curtains,” he commanded and you shrugged, standing quickly and nearly yanking the curtains from the hinges.

          “Done. Now what?”

          “You seem a little eager to please,” He chuckled, standing from his place on the floor carefully. It must have been painful. He looked even harder now.

          “I always am. You know I’m a people pleaser.”

          He rolled his eyes but nodded at the stairs by your kitchen and with an excited hop, you ran towards them. Joon chased you, playfully swatting at your hips and behind every couple of steps. Your long hair bobbed with every step and your shoulders shook with every giggle. You tried to jump away from him but only half-heartedly. In truth, you loved his hands on your butt and you weren’t going to pass up some playful spanks.

          When you made it to the landing, you turned around. Namjoon was slightly shorter than usual due to him being one step behind you, so you took advantage, throwing your arms around his neck as he took the last step. As if he was on the same wavelength, he reached down, grabbing at your thighs and settling them around his hip.

          You giggled again, excitement and something a little purer flooded your system. His lips met yours unceremoniously, nipping and sucking light heartedly while you smiled into him. The scent of something flowery hit your nose and you realized he must have used some of his Chanel number five lotion. It strangely suited him well.

          Finally, you reached your bed. He climbed on carefully, setting you on your back. He pulled away and blinked at you. Your stomach fluttered at his expression. There was a softness on his features that you never saw with anyone else. A love that you couldn’t quite describe but couldn’t ignore.

          He let go of your leg to stroke at your cheek with the back of his hand. Pure, undeniable warmth surged through you at his touch. Your smiles match in intensity and adoration. It was weird. Maybe no one could understand it. How intimate sex truly was to you. Especially with the reputation that your boyfriend had of being a sexual deviant, but the truth was that while he was naturally very attracted to the human body, sex had a special meaning to him. It wasn’t something that he gave away easily. It was an expression of his trust and love. It was nearly never self-serving, and almost always to focus on you and your needs. He was a giver, contrary to popular belief.

          You buried your hand in his hair and pulled him to your lips, savoring the taste of strawberry Chapstick as if it would be the last time that you could ever do so. Not even for a breath of air did you pull away as he hooked his thumbs over the edge of the hoodie and slowly began to bunch it up around your chest.

          Cool air hit your warming skin, his touch only furthering the experience. Every nerve in your torso was in flames, the pulse between your legs growing stronger by the second. Like it was yelling at you to give it the attention it searched for. Namjoon angled his pelvis up so you could feel his own pulse against your own. His member twitched as he shifted his hips from side to side ever so slight, your legs still wrapped tightly around him. You couldn’t stand the thought of him being any farther from you than a couple of centimeters.

          Just as the thought crossed your mind, he pulled away from the kiss, his hands both at the lace edge of your bra now. His gaze darkened as you whined, chasing his sweet lips but he kept himself out of reach with a pleased smirk.

          “Joonie,” you groaned trying to pull his head back to you but he only rolled his eyes before prying a hand from his hair almost reluctantly, entwining his fingers with yours and kissing the back of your hand softly. He smiled and placed it over his chest, where you could feel his speeding heart. It pounded against his ribs at the same speed as your own. In sync, in one harmonious song.

          You relaxed a bit at the gesture. His heartbeat always had that effect and he never failed to use it to control you in the sweetest way possible. Your chest rose and fell dramatically as he memorized your features.

          “Can this come off,” he asked, tugging once more at the fabric of the sweater you stole. You smiled at him knowingly and nodded.

          “If you take it back after we’re done, I’m going to be upset,” you half joked as he placed tiny pecks on each knuckle and one last kiss on the back of your hand before he dropped it next to your head and took the hem of the hoodie with both hands.

          “Hands over your head,” he said, the slightest bit of authority in his command. Obediently, or maybe it was because you were so keen to please, you shimmed your hands over your ponytail and arched your back to make it easier for him to pull it off.

          He was cautious not to get it stuck on your ears, or to pull on your hair. Too many times had he accidentally snagged an article of clothing on an earring or accidentally tangled your hair into the fabric. He’d learned that lesson, as he more than likely learned not to try to stand up with you in his lap earlier.

          Once you were free of the fabric, he balled it up, smirked at you, then tossed it over to a pile of stuffed animals that you had set up on a small table. You had one from each tour he had gone to from every country they visited. In case you missed him he’d send you one from wherever he was so you could imagine being with him. It was such a sweet thought and a tradition you looked forward to.

          Namjoon kissed your nose faintly, bringing your attention back to him. You gave him a tight-lipped smile, his hands not dilly dallying any further. Instead he rested them directly on top of your breasts, squeezing, just enough to remind you what you were doing. What you were craving.

          “ Y/N,” he groaned, looking at the way his hands engulfed the hills on your chest. It was a reminder. You didn’t have huge breasts but neither were they tiny, and the way that his hands seemed to be the perfect size to hold each, only served to recap how big his pretty hands were.

          “I love you in lace,” he gasped, thrusting his hips against the heart of your femininity. You choked on a moan. He was so stiff, and the combined warmth of your bodies seemed to radiate into the air.

          “You’re blushing, beautiful,” He said against your neck. There was no denying it. Not only could he clearly see the tint of red on your skin, but he could also feel it against his lips.

          “Shut up,” you complained, twirling a strand of hair between your fingers as he nibbled on your burning skin. He  let a hand trace up to your chin. His thumb parting your swollen lips and pressing against your tongue. He wasn’t fond of you telling him what to do.

          “It’s pretty, baby,” he kissed a hickey into your neck loudly, “You know I love it when your skin flushes under my touch.”

          There was a hidden question in this statement. He was asking you if this is what you wanted out of this encounter. To turn pink under his hand. It wasn’t new. He’d done it to you on many an occasion and it was as enjoyable to you as it was to him.

          “You know I like it too,” you said shyly, glad that he couldn’t see how much blood rushed to your cheeks at the thought of what could happen next.

          His manhood twitched against your core, his breath hitched. He could read you like a book, or maybe he had you memorized. Either way, he pulled your legs from his body and pulled you to sit up. In a matter of seconds he had pushed you to the edge of the bed, stood you up and sat you on his toned thighs. Confusion clouded your mind. The other times that something of this sort happened in the bed room, you were across his lap not on it. In all honesty, you weren’t sure how this would work with the way he had positioned you.

          Namjoon was a man with a plan. He wasted no time in scooting you back until his shoulders were pressed against the wall.

          “Joon, what are you-“

          “Lay down,” he said, pushing you forward as he parted his legs. Your head facing towards his feet, your face in the comforter. You put your arms under your head to support yourself as Namjoon pulled your legs around his hips once more.

          That’s when it became all clear. Before you could process what was happening, he tugged at your leggings, pulling them down to about your midthigh. Cool air hit your behind and you couldn’t help the shiver that traveled up your spine.

          “Pink panties ,” he whispered so hoarsely that it was almost unintelligible, “My favorite color on you, did you wear this for me?”

   You took a deep breath, forcing courage into yourself before you said, “No, it’s for my other boyfriend .”

         He stiffened at the sarcasm but quickly relaxed knowing that you were just trying to rile him up. One, slender finger drew a small heart on your right butt cheek. You could almost hear his smile as he inhaled. His brain whirling with possibility.

          “Cheeky,” he joked, patting the spot he’d just traced on. The sound of skin on skin making your mind blurry with desire.

          You snorted, because, come on. That’s a good joke and he chuckled.

          “You know what happens when my baby gets mouthy…don’t you baby?”

          You hummed, loving your little banter. It was lucky that your face was firmly between your arms or maybe he’d see your mind working to sass him.

          “I don’t think that was mouthy,” you shrugged. His index finger found its way under the elastic of the panties on your body. You licked your lips in anticipation but nothing happened. Disappointment began to settle in right before you felt him tug it up then without warning, released it.

          The sharp snap of pain panged through the skin on your butt and lower back. You hissed as he pushed into the place the elastic dug. It was a start. A damn good one at that.

          “Maybe not, but I get to be the judge of that,” he said plucking the elastic up on the opposite side of your hip, “and I think that you’re mouthy.”

          Snap.  

           You groaned but adrenaline had started to kick in and arousal was pooling between your legs.

          “Turn me around,” you mumbled, enjoying the sting against your skin as he pressed into the area your underwear hit, “I’ll show you just how mouthy I can be.”

          “Fuck,” he spat, smacking your right butt cheek and yanking your hair just for his own added pleasure. The noise resonated in the large, partially empty, apartment. A gasp escaped your lips.

          “Maybe later,” he reasoned, hitting the left one this time a little harder than the last, “first, i want to see my handprint on your ass.”

          Two more fast slaps to your right cheek followed by one to your left. You clenched around nothing feeling the burn start to take over. His hand delivered delicious blows each time.

          “What-“ spank, “happened to-“ spank, spank, “pink?”

          “I’ve decided that you deserve more than just pink. What with that filthy mouth of yours.”

          “Filthy,” you mock gasped as he slapped one side multiple times quickly. So quickly, you couldn’t even count and your skin was starting to get numb.

          “You didn’t seem to have a problem with my mouth last time it was around your-” three more slaps and then a snap of the elastic of your underwear was enough to shut you up. A moan gurgled into your mouth that you barely held back. Namjoon rubbed the sting into the panging skin. His finger now felt cold against you and you knew you must be peachy at the very least. Cherry red at the worst. Judging by his giggle, you were somewhere in between.

          “Don’t laugh at me, you jerk,” you groaned, feeling your face flush as he ran a finger over your clothed slits. You shuddered in anticipation.

          “I love how you react to the simplest touches,” he mumbled, running his finger over and over the damp underwear, “You’re a little wet baby.”

          You could tell he wanted you to say something but you couldn’t bring yourself to voice a single thing. When you said nothing he continued.

          “Maybe we should get rid of these,” he slipped a finger under the side for a second, before pulling it out and grabbing your hips.

          “Or maybe,” he shifted himself pushing his manhood against your center, “we could just push these aside…”

          He pulled you back onto him, the friction heavenly to you both. A sinful, melodious moan left his lips. He was getting desperate but if you knew your boyfriend, he could draw this out for much, much longer and you…you were in no rush.

          “Or maybe,” you countered pushing yourself up and away from the bed sheets, “you could put my ‘filthy’ mouth to some use,” you threw a cautious look over your shoulder only to see his mouth hanging open in surprise and his fluffy cheeks flushing a pale pink.

          “What’s wrong baby,” you asked with a smirk looking down at your touching centers then back at his eyes, your lip between your teeth, “cat got your tongue?”

          His eyes sparkled as he looked between you where you connected through fabric. You could almost see him salivate. You’d heard of this before your relationship with Namjoon. You’d heard of men loving to please a woman. You had heard of the way some men drooled at the thought but never had you experienced it. That is, unti the first time Namjoon disrobed you and he’d licked his lips and buried his face between your legs.

          And here it was again. That look. Feral. Primal. Thirsty. It was, so absolutely sexy. But this was not what you had in mind.

          In an instant, Namjoon rolled you off of him, shifting himself on his hands and knees. You adjusted yourself against the pillows of the bed, your chest heaving as he tore his shirt from his body as if it was burning him. He threw it on the floor next to the bed then turned his attention back to you, “Take it off.”

          “Take what off,” you asked genuinely not sure but his quirked eyebrow made you swallow the little saliva in your mouth and strip your bralette and underwear in a matter of seconds. You weren’t in the mood to be deprived of an orgasm after a couple of weeks hiatus.

          You propped yourself up a bit higher, your legs squeezed shut in slight embarrassment. You crossed your arms under and slightly over your breasts to cover your pert nipples. It had been a while, and it kind of felt like it was the first time he’d seen you naked even though, in the back of your mind, you knew he’d seen it plenty before.

          Namjoon’s chest rippled in the dim light, his arms, so toned and silky, flexed as he held himself up, devouring every inch of skin he could see. His tongue darted out to lick his plush lips. A shock of thrill went directly to your core. You had memories of that tongue in other places.

          “i’ve missed you baby girl,” he said, grabbing your ankles and pushing them apart so he could take a look at what lay in between. When his eyes landed on your slit, it was like he’d been sedated. His shoulders relaxed, his jaw slacked and his elbows buckled slightly.

          “Finally,” he grumbled, jumping at your body. He kissed your lips passionately, ripping your arms from your chest and entwining his fingers with yours to pin them to the bed on either side of you. You spread your legs even wider to accommodate his torso.

          He pressed his hips into your sex. The texture fabric of his shorts rubbed up against the little nub that was begging to be touched.

          You moaned into the kiss as his tongue found its way into your mouth. You were hot. So hot. You were burning up. Maybe it was the way that you could feel his erection so firmly between your legs. You couldn’t tell. But you were so freaking hot.

          “Fuck baby,” he groaned against your chin, kissing down your neck sloppily. Trails of saliva  followed as he made it to your chest. He wasted no time in taking one of your eagerly awaiting nipples in his mouth. He lightly nibbled and sucked on the sensitive flesh. His tongue was weirdly talented, even though he hadn’t had many girlfriends before you.

           You usually attributed it to his rapping skills as he had so eloquently put it one time when you, in the heat of the moment, asked him how he could possibly be this good.

          “You’ve heard of what guitarists can do with their hands? This is what rappers do with their tongues.”

          He pulled away from your chest, kissed the nipple, before he blew on it just a tiny bit. He drove you crazy and he knew it. Your eyes rolled into your head. God, you missed him.

          “Joon…if you don’t touch me, I swear-”

          “Baby,” he cut you off again, “I think it’s been too long. You’re forgetting who,” you looked down as his hands grabbed onto the inside of your thighs, “is in charge.”

          You opened your mouth to protest but his own mouth dove right into the folds between your legs kissing with an open mouth and you shut your lips instantly.

          “Fuck,” you said, trying to close your legs but his strong arms kept you open, vulnerable before him.

He lapped at your clitoris with just the very tip of his tongue. He drew shapes and letters. He must have spelled words even, in hangul by the way that his tongue was moving and you just lay there, shivering under his touch.. He really was a talented rapper if what he was doing was any indication.

          He mumbled something against your core, and it sent a vibration of pure delight through your body. You clenched around nothing and let a whine escape your lips. This was not supposed to be about you, but were you a horrible person for suddenly not caring?

          “Wh-what,” you asked, as waves of pleasure surged through your body, his plush lips clamping around the little nub between your legs and sucking gently.

          He withdrew his lips with a lewd squelch and you wrinkled your nose at it. Disappointment surged through you before his voice did.

          “I said,” he licked a long, wide stripe from bottom to top, his eyes firmly on your shocked and blissed out face, “so good.”

          You had no words. You floundered for any semblance of coherent sounds but nothing came to mind. How did sentences work again? Did your voice come from your lips?

          You bit the corner of your bottom lip as he gently kissed around your labia. He let go of your thighs, and used his index finger and thumb on both hands to spread you open. His eyes were greedy, excited. It was like someone had offered him some cotton candy or made him some of that expensive drip coffee he liked. He looked, hungry.

          Without your response, he once again kissed the now very visible and pulsating nub that was filled with blood from arousal. The sensation made your shoulders both relax and tense at the same time. Noticing your reaction, he chuckled, and stuck his tongue out sharply. Without hesitation, he licked back and forward a couple of times. Your legs shook and you had the instinct to clamp them closed but you forced yourself to keep them apart and bent.

          Within seconds, you felt your climax nearing. After a few rounds in this same position, he’d figured out exactly what to do to make you finish. You could still remember telling him when he had first suggested trying this particular act that no one had ever made you finish from just eating you out and not to feel bad if you didn’t climax, but he was determined and after a first time “failure”  -which was relative because what he had done felt great but he felt it wasn’t a success until you came- he set himself to research and was eventually, the first man to make you come in this way.

          It was safe to say that it had gone to his pretty little head. Maybe this was why he liked to do this so much. It was something purely his. Something he could proudly call himself a pioneer of and he was so damn good at it.

          “Joonie,” you whimpered, pulling on his hair tightly so he would slow down, but it was like he knew, and he probably did know, that you were close.

          He doubled his efforts, holding you apart, vulnerable to his talented tongue. You threw your head back. The pleasure was almost too much. Too powerful. The thought that it was Namjoon between your legs making you see stars was almost enough to push you over the edge.

          “Come on gorgeous. i know you want to cum,” he mumbled quickly, going back to the motion he had before with a slight bit more pressure.

          Maybe it was because he pointed it out, or maybe it was because you really were needy, but you did. You felt your body tense almost to the point of discomfort then like a dam filled with water, the pleasure burst, leaving you moaning his name as he lapped at the wetness that still coated your womanhood.

          “Namjoon please oh God,” you whined, trying to pull him off but he wasn’t slowing down.

          Overstimulation was quickly taking over. Your body shivered violently. This time, your legs did snap closed on his head but he didn’t seem to care. He let go of your labia and pried your thighs apart, sucking your clitoris into his mouth harshly.

          Tiny whimpers escaped your lips. It was like you were watching it happen rather than having it done to you. You couldn’t think. Your body acted of its own accord, reacting to every lick and slurp of your boyfriend’s perfect mouth as if on autopilot.

          “Namjoon, it’s too much ,” you begged but he only chuckled and brought a hand closer to your center.

          “I can’t have my sexy girlfriend thinking that I don’t want her anymore,” he said against your skin, “gotta show you how much I need you, baby girl.”

          You gasped, as a finger circled your entrance. The pads of his fingers were a little rough and the texture felt amazing against your sensitive middle. Without warning, he dipped the finger in. You were so wet at that point that his finger met no resistance and he instantly plunged a second finger after it.

          As if he had been trained his whole life for pleasing just you, he found your g-spot near instantly. A small scream of gratification left your swollen lips as he pressed against it over and over and over.

          It wasn’t long before you were at the edge again. Delirious. Desperate for release once more. The pain of over stimulation, long gone and replaced by hyper awareness and desire.

          “I think I’m going to-“

          Stolen from your lips were the words as you clenched around his finger and twitched under his touch. This time, he helped you ride it until goosebumps decorated your skin and when you tugged at his hair once more, he withdrew his head and his hand from your abused core.

          It was a couple of minutes before you were able to properly breathe. Your chest heaved. You could have just ran a mile in six minutes flat with the exhaustion that filled your bones to the brim. When you could finally think clearly, you pushed yourself up and looked for your boyfriend.

          He was waiting patiently on his knees between your own. His face, from his nose to his chin, glistened with the wetness that could only come from between your legs. His chest was bare, and a light sheen of sweat seemed to coat it. He too was breathing heavily but you could tell buy a single glance at his shorts, that he was nowhere near done.

          “Nam-mjoon,” you said, your voice wavering, earning you a giggle from the cute boy before you, “I was  supposed to suck you off. Not have you eat me out…”

          Your arms felt heavy as well as your legs. If you let yourself, you could fall asleep right then but you forced the tiredness away as you looked at Namjoon’s puppy eyes.

          “Do you want me to,” you asked, bracing yourself for his answer. This might be the worst blow job you ever give but if he wanted your lips around him, you would happily oblige.

          “Y/N, you look like you could fall over at any second. i think having you fall asleep around your co-“

          “Joon!”

          He rolled his eyes at your outburst. you always felt a bit strange about him being vulgar when it came to certain body parts but he usually ignored your please and said what he wanted. Today was no different.

          “…cock…would be a blow to my confidence not to my dick.”

          You giggled at his joke and sat up a little straighter. Usually, you would fight him. you hated not reciprocating and especially now that it had been so long since you had a proper night together but there was a real possibility that you could hurt him so you didn’t push on the blow job and made a mental note to award him one at a later date.

          “Okay, fine…but can we at least…” you paused, feeling a blush rush to your cheeks at what you were going to ask.

          “At least?”

          “Don’t make you say it,” you begged, getting on your hands and knees and crawling over to sit on his still, annoyingly clothed lap.

          He helped you settle on his legs and held onto your thighs to keep you close. you could feel his erection as hard as ever. It must be painful at this point. You ground your hips just once and he winced. Yeah, he was far too gone.

          You reached up to his lips and wiped some of your own slick from his skin with your thumb. You felt a bit bad at how covered he was. You wiped the thumb on his shorts at which he frowned before you reached up and kissed him softly. The taste of you on his lips was strange. You could never really tell how you felt about it but if one thing was for sure, you were lucky to have such a wonderful boyfriend.

          You managed to lick and kiss most of the moisture from his mouth before he spoke again.

          “Can I make love to you?”

          You blinked up at him, surprised. At this point, maybe you shouldn’t have been. He knew you like the back of his hand, or maybe even better than that. You mentally thanked him for saving you the awkwardness of asking for it and nodded your head vigorously.

          His dimples made an appearance as he very suddenly pulled you towards him and on to your back. You squealed, giddy to finally feel him inside you after so long. He let go of your legs and quickly, and might you add, very ungracefully, pushed his shorts and underwear off in one swoop.

          His shaft sprung up. The tip was a deep red and it leaked precum. You couldn’t help but lick your lips. It was thick and long. The kind of thing that you would expect to see in art or in paintings. It was ethereal. Delectable. How could you have let yourself be deprived of this view for so long?

          In an instant, you remembered the feeling of him inside you and your head reeled. If you remembered correctly, this was going to be a stretch.

          Namjoon climbed over you in the blink of an eye. You could tell he was excited because, well it was just something you knew. It was radiating from his body like an aura.

          “Do you think you’re ready,” he asked, kissing your forehead, then your hairline, ever so gently. He peppered kisses all over your face as a smile graced it. You grabbed a hold of his face in both hands and forced him to kiss your lips, which he did without argument.

          “You are too cute Joonie baby,” you mumbled against his lips before you let a hand trail down his toned chest, over his muscular but undefined abs and finally wrapped around his hardened member.

          His smile faltered for an instant, his erection twitched in your hand. You gave it a couple of slow and lavish pumps. You could see the fine hairs on his body stand on end at the sensation and you couldn’t help but giggle.

          “You’re killing me here,” he choked out through gritted teeth.

          “I’m sorry Joonie,” you lied, keeping your pace slow, “I just want to make sure that you’re ready as well.”

          You took his bottom lip between your teeth and sucked at it as you squeezed a little tighter around his rod still at the unbearable pace you had set. His body reacted accordingly. Shiver after shiver ran down his spine and his chest convulsed. Had he not jerked off either? He was so wound up.

          “Baby girl, please just let me get in there… I can’t take much more of this,” he whispered against your jaw, leaving a wet kiss before connecting his eyes to yours. you smiled kindly and aligned him with your entrance.

          As soon as you touched his tip to your middle, his shoulders seemed to tense further and you let go, letting him take over.  As if he had read your mind, he gently began to push himself deeper. Was it payback for jerking him off so slowly, or was he scared to hurt you? He was inching his way in so incredibly slow. you could feel every vein in his member, every stroke against your walls. It was both horrible, and amazing all at once.

          Finally, he bottomed out and despite how wet you were from your two orgasms, you felt tears prick your eyes. It had definitely been too long and you weren’t just talking about his member.

          You could feel it in your stomach and he pushed down your lower abdomen just so you could feel it better. This was another thing he was proud of. No one had gone as deep as him. He was by far, the longest and girthiest you had ever had and he always made sure you remembered it.

          A groan left his lips as he shifted his hips so you could feel him move inside of you. He wiped a tear away from your cheek and kissed the trail it had left behind.

          “You feel that baby girl,” he asked gently, “that’s all for you. Only for you.’

          He began to pull out at the same pace that he had impaled you and you whimpered, wanting…no needing more. He was almost fully pulled out before he slowly began to push back in.

          Namjoon grabbed the hand that had been jerking him off and replaced his hand on your stomach with it. Then that hand came up and gently gripped around your neck. Your heart skipped a beat.

          “How does that feel baby? Does it hurt?”

          “Yeah,” you nearly screamed and he stopped mid thrust. You could see the fear in his eyes as he looked all over your face for some sign of what he had done wrong.

          “It hurts because you’re going way too slow you doof,” you clarified, and he instantly relaxed.

          “You scared me, Y/N.”

          “Joonie please move faster,” you begged, ignoring his previous statement.

          He sighed which shook a little as your walls contracted around his length. His grip on your neck tightened with your muscles and a shock of pleasure ran through your stomach. You let an unsteady moan escape your lips which was swallowed up as he leaned down, his sex still only about a quarter of the way in, and traced your lips with his tongue.

          You clenched around him once again. He bit your upper lip roughly, then kissed it and your nose lightly. It was so confusing. The way he could be sickeningly sweet and at the same time be torturing you with his hands and his length. The mix of emotion made a fog in your head that kept you from seeing what was coming next.

          “I’ll move my love,” he whispered against the shell of your ear. Goosebumps erupted all over your body. You let your eyes shut to better appreciate all of the pleasure you were receiving , intoxicated with the scent of his skin, and the way that his voice floated into your ear.

          “If you say my name,” he whispered, licking the cartilage nearest his lips.

          You knew it would come to this. You’d been too mouthy. Too self-righteous. It had been a long time since we’d shared a bed this way and you let your eagerness and desperation get the best of you. Now, you were truly going to have to pay for it. That is, if you kept up your refusal to give him what he wanted. Would you really want to risk getting denied an orgasm just to keep up your brat routine?

          An mortified blush covered your cheeks up to your forehead. It wasn’t that it made you uncomfortable. It was a turn on to you too, but there was something embarrassing about calling him something so deeply fetishized. It sounded strange coming out of your mouth and made you cringe, but you knew that if you just gave him what he wanted, we would both be satisfied.

          “Yes daddy,” you whimpered.

          It happened in a millisecond. His hand squeezed around your windpipe, he bit down on your ear and he thrust his hip hard against your core.

          A muted cry was ripped from your vocal cords. His tip hit just as deep as it had the first time. You could feel it in your stomach. You never really thought that could be possible but here you were, and you couldn’t have been more wrong.

          Like a switch was flipped, he pounded into the wet mouth of your arousal, the slickness helping to keep it mostly painless. Still, the burn couldn’t be stopped as he stretched you farther than any fingers could. Moans fell from your lips like prayers. Namjoon grunted every time his hips met yours. A lewd clapping bounced off the walls.

          There was no stopping him now. It was like a magic word and you knew that as soon as you’d said it, there was no going back.

          Namjoon used the hand not around your neck to hold himself up and over you. Beads of sweat had started to form on his hair line with the effort he was exerting. A sexy wrinkle formed between his eyebrows as he squeezed his eyes shut. His breaths were coming out hard, and loud. He sounded like he was running a race and he was pushing himself to the end. It was music to your ears. Sounds more appealing than any symphony or singer you had ever heard.

          Maybe you had zoned out, because when you zoned back in, your voice was mixed in with his. His real name was mixed in with shouts of “more” and “don’t stop”. You knew that later, after it was all said and done, the noises you were making would haunt you, but in the moment, you pushed away your insecurities and focused on the feeling of being full.

          “Yes,” you gasped as he hit your g-spot, repeatedly on the way in and out. Gratification was flowing through you like a river.

          “Yes what Jagi,” Namjoon asked, readjusting himself onto his knees so he didn’t have to hold himself up.

          He grabbed onto one of your breasts and gave it a light squeeze before he flicked the nipple. Question forgotten, your breath caught in your throat but he abandoned your chest in favor of something lower. He traced lines into your stomach. Designs he’d come up on the spot that you’d have to remaster into a design of some sort if you still remembered them after you were done. It was beautiful. The way that you made love.

          Beautiful, how you  mixed together. A beautiful color that couldn’t be store bought or mass produced. It was you. Purely, and unequivocally you.

          You choked as his wandering hand found your clit once more, rubbing tight and precise circles. It was too much, and he knew this. His fingers on your pulse point, his index on your sensitive bud, and his member inside you. It was everything you could ask for, and when your body froze, tense from his caress, it was no surprise to either of you.

          “Namjoon,” you gasped as your walls convulsed around him, his speed even. It was getting harder to breath and it wasn’t because of the pressure on your windpipes but because once again, over stimulation was setting in. You winced as he pumped in and out at an inhumane speed. It was crazy. How could he hold himself off this long.

          “I’m almost there baby, where do you want me,” he asked, his voice hoarse and deep and gravely.

          “In-in me… I want you in me Joonie,” you panted.

          Was it slightly inconvenient to have his ejaculation inside you? Yes. Was it nice to be so wet after we had sex? No. Did you give a single crap in that moment? No. No,you didn’t. All you knew was that you needed him. You needed to feel like you were his and like before, this was something that only he had ever done to you and it made it special.

          As if that was all that he was waiting for, Namjoon stilled. His erection twitched inside you and then he came. He spilled into you. Hot and thick. you couldn’t help but let your eyes roll back into your head as his ejaculation dripped from your entrance. You squeezed around him just to try and help and were rewarded with a grunt of satisfaction.

          “Fuck Y/N,” he huffed, removing his hand from your neck and your core to help steady him. His length had started to soften and you could tell that, much like you, he was exhausted.

          He pulled out, wincing as the cold air hit his member.You, in turn, grimaced as his cum dripped down your thighs. You’d have to wash the bed sheets today.

          Namjoon laid down beside you. Your body bounced as he adjusted his body. He draped an arm around your waist, cuddling into your side. Your bodies stuck together. Sweat, and well…other liquids clung to your skin.

          You allowed yourself to relax into him for a couple of minutes. Your breathing pattern evened before you sighed happily and pushed him off of you. Namjoon whimpered as you carefully swung your legs over the edge of your bed. The uncomfortable feel of something flowing out  of you made you shiver.

          “Where are you going,” he asked in Korean. His tone whiney and you couldn’t stop yourself from glancing at him over your bare shoulder. His eyes were big and a small frown decorated his lips. He was too cute to handle.

          You planted a kiss on his frown before you turned back to the edge of the bed to press your legs together. Maybe it would stop the ejaculate.

          “I need to shower,” you reasoned, bracing yourself, knowing you would have to run to the restroom if you wanted to avoid having to mop the floor again.

          “Can’t we cuddle for a little while,” Namjoon begged but you just shook your head dreading what you knew was to come.

          “After we shower, yeah.”

          You felt him sit up behind you. He gently kissed your shoulder and wrapped his strong…muscular…arms…

          You blinked at his muscles around you like a deer in headlights but shook your head. You could still feel how tired your muscles were from what you had just done. You couldn’t do it this soon again.

          “Can I at least shower with you,” he asked, nuzzling into the back of your neck.

          “Yes, of course,” you said, reaching behind yourself and scratching his head. You felt him, rather than saw him, relax against your back and you smiled.

          “Are you less stressed,” he asked you and you sighed.

          “I feel alright, Joonie. Could you tell I was really stressed?”

          You turned to look at him. He had a knowing smirk on his face that made your blood boil and embarrassment pool in your belly. He grazed his lips over the damp skin that spanned under his finger and when he spoke, it was against the nerves on your body that stood on end for him.

          “You talk in your sleep sometimes,” he said matter-of-factly. You sighed. Given away by your subconscious.

          “Oh.”

          “Besides, I have been watching you grade papers. You get this cute little fold between your eyebrows when you’re thinking too hard,” he rested a finger against your forehead where he indicated and massaged it in little circles. You let your shoulders fall. Who did you think you were kidding?

          “I see… well I’m feeling a little better. Hopefully I can get some ideas to get my students to be more interested now that I’m not so wound up.”

          “You’re a fantastic teacher,” Namjoon reasoned stroking your slightly messy hair, “you’ll figure it out.”

          “Yeah… I know you’re right,” you sighed letting a comfortable silence fall between you. Your brain was buzzing once again but this time it wasn’t stressful. It was with ideas for your classroom. You smiled, feeling a weight being lifted from your shoulders.

          “I’m sure I’ll come up with something,” you shifted the conversation, “what about you? Any sudden inspiration for your lyrics?”

          He didn’t speak and his chest tensed behind you. You felt like you had popped the bubble you were in. you should have kept your mouth shut.

          “Yes actually,” he said but it didn’t feel directed at you. Within seconds, he’d let go of your body and was up, pulling on his boxers and looking for his phone. He frantically pulled up the notes app on it and typed furiously.

          The shock quickly melted into amusement. You giggled at how his fingers slid over the glass screen. His focus on his cell.

          “Well I’m glad I could help,” you said, finally standing up. you felt the liquid inside you shift and with a panicked last look at your inspired boyfriend, you ran to the restroom on the first floor.

          “I’ll be in the shower. Have fun writing,” you yelled.

           You thought you heard him say something but it was too muffled for you to understand. You didn’t wait for him to meet you in the bathroom. Instead, you jumped in,washing between your legs thoroughly and scrubbing your skin. When you were done, Namjoon was sitting on the floor of the living room. His laptop, journal and phone spread out on the coffee table. He had his airpods in and he was bobbing his head to something you couldn’t hear.

          You didn’t interrupt. Instead you looked over his makeshift workstation and smiled.  His journal was turned to one of the pages of lyrics that he’d been stuck on for months. Fresh ink rested on the browning lines and my heart soared. Turned out that our bad moods and mutual slumps were directly related to our lack of sexual life. Duly noting that fact, I kissed the top of his head and made my way back upstairs to get my bed sheets to wash, a smile plastered on my lips.

[ayatosmlktea]

𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Hiraeth (n)  A Welsh word used to describe the feeling of homesickness for a home you cannot return to.

Warnings: Angst, lots of it

A/N: This is my first long fic...honestly I’m proud of it. I never thought I'd ever reach the 5k word threshold but here we are!

@thesilencebeforeastorm​ wrote a second part here, it’s very sweet!

“God it’s like you never listen to me!” Y/N’s complaint grated against Levi’s ears like cutlery scraping across glass plates, her arms crossed over her chest as she leaned against the passenger side door.

“I always listen! It’s you who never wants to hear what I have to say! You know I’m right”! Levi countered through gritted teeth, his grip tightening on the steering wheel as they sped along the dimly light road.

“Are you being serious right now?” Y/N narrowed her eyes at her boyfriend feeling her heart begin to beat harder in her chest. She hated fighting with him, but his arrogant attitude was becoming intolerable.

“Yes! How many times have we had this fucking conversation already?” Levi groaned, his head was throbbing. All he wanted was one night of peace, one night where they could connect without being interrupted. But as usual something just had to go wrong. It seemed that lately all they knew how to do was fight. They weren’t even significant arguments, the smallest inconvenience could send them into a fit, more often than not Levi found himself going to bed long after Y/N had. Not even wanting to sleep in the same bed some nights. He knew from the beginning of her pregnancy that she was going to be emotional, but God there was only so much he could take.

“We wouldn’t need to be having this conversation if you would just fucking chill out for once!” Y/N snapped back the air inside the car suddenly feeling uncomfortably hot, her palms were sweaty and her nails were digging into her skin to prevent angry tears from falling.

“I need to chill out? Okay, fine. When we get home I’ll grab my shit and go chill out.” Levi’s jaw was beginning to cramp from how hard he was clenching it, his foot unconsciously pressing down harder on the gas pedal. The pent up frustrations over the past few weeks were finally coming out all at once.

“Fine! I don’t want to be around you anyway!” Y/N yelled, ignoring the tiny kick against her stomach.

“Great! Then maybe we shouldn’t be together! Since I’m so fucking uptight maybe you should be with someone who doesn’t give a shit!” Despite the harsh words they were throwing at each other, Y/N flinched at this. Things had been bad, but that didn’t mean she didn’t love him. She knew she was being unreasonable but sometimes Levi knew how to push her buttons to the point where she didn’t care how snappy she was.

Levi probably should have stopped venting, the words coming out of his mouth did not at all reflect his feelings. His temper was out of control and his pride was only fueled by her lack of comebacks.

“What the hell is wrong with you! I never said I wanted to be with anyone else! You’re being really irrational right now Levi” Both of them were so caught up in tearing each other apart that the bright white headlights rapidly approaching went unnoticed as they continued to rip into each other.

“Oh I’m being irrational? That’s rich coming from you, miss I need ice cream and pickles right now or else I’m going to cry for the next three hours.” Levi mocked, swerving lights inching closer and closer.

“Well if it bothers you so much then I won’t ask you for anything anymore! If we’re so fucking inconvenient to you then don’t bother! Take your shit and go!”

“Sometimes I wish I’d never met you!” The blaring horn pierced their ears, eyes widening in horrific realization that there was no time to react. The sound of glass shattering and tires screeching drowning out panicked screams.

“Hey babe!” Levi called out as he removed his shoes, the house was oddly quiet. Most of the lights were turned off, usually by the time he got home Y/N was cooking dinner with the tv on in the background. She never liked being home alone without having background noise to keep her company. Levi flicked the living room light on, nothing seemed to be out of place, an occurrence that was rare. Y/N would typically lounge out in front of the tv with a snack or two before he got home. Walking down the hallway to their bedroom he was surprised to find her in bed, not one to take naps regularly Levi began to worry that she was sick. Sitting down on the edge of the bed his fingers gently caress her cheeks, pulling back once they were met with something wet. Y/N was...crying? But why?

“Baby what’s wrong?” He asked in a soothing whisper, brushing strands of damp hair away from her face. Levi was on edge, he couldn’t even begin to imagine what was making her upset, their relationship had been going so well.

“I’m sorry” she cried, bringing her hands up to her face turning her body farther away from him.

“What do you mean you’re sorry? What happened?” Levi’s palms were becoming clammy with panic, he tried keeping his voice steady knowing that it was only going to make her freakout even more.

“It’s my fault!”

“What’s your fault? Tell me what’s going on?” Levi pulls against her shoulders rolling her onto her back. Bile creeps up his throat as he stares at her bloody face, shards of glass jutting out from her skin, tears stream down her cheeks mingling with the crimson liquid. Levi wants to say something but his tongue feels like lead.

“Wake up! You’re dying!” Y/N’s body is suddenly towering over him, drops of blood falling onto his face.

“You have to wake up!”

Gasping in short breaths of air Levi’s eyes hazily open, white lights too bright for him to stare into make his head throb. He was moving, but where.

“He’s conscious!” Someone shouts too loud for Levi’s liking.  Masked faces hover above him, they’re moving too. Levi’s throat feels like sandpaper as he groans, Levi tried to turn his head to the side but found himself unable to.

“Don’t try to move sir” One of the masked figures said reassuringly, but Levi felt anything but reassured.

“Y/N...where is she” he rasped out, every breath felt like his lungs were being set on fire.

“She’s right behind you, you’re going to be okay” They replied, Levi tried his best to look for her but his body wouldn’t cooperate. Blinking slowly the lights grew faint, he barely registered a mask being placed over his mouth. Words exchanged between the nurses mingling together to become one incoherent string of nonsense as his vision becomes engulfed in a blackened silence.

“Are you excited?” Y/N asked with her head resting in Levi’s lap. Neither of them were really all that invested in the movie they were watching.

“Excited for what?” He inquired, raising an eyebrow at her. Her unamused expression had Levi fighting the urge to smirk.

“Are you serious? You’re going to be a dad soon!”

“Am I?” Levi asked again, a more prominent look of confusion on his face now. Y/N rolled her eyes while slapping his chest half heartedly.

“You’re so annoying sometimes” she sighed, turning her attention back to the movie.

“I am” Levi admitted after a few minutes.

“You are what? Annoying? I know”  

“I’m excited...to have a family with you. Our little brat is lucky to have your for a mom” Y/N huffed in amusement.

“Stop calling our baby a brat”

“She is a little brat, always giving your mom a hard time huh?” Levi scolded affectionately.

“Don’t you think it’s time to wake up?” Y/N’s suddenly serious expression and tone was off putting, the blank far off look in her eyes made him feel like prey backed into a corner. It was nauseating.

“What?”

“It’s time to wake up, Levi. She needs you”

A soft beeping greets Levi as his brain tries to grab onto consciousness. For a moment he can’t remember where he is or why he’s lying in a bed that is definitely not his own with sheets that don’t feel right on his skin. Something was obviously wrong, but he couldn’t remember anything. Glancing around the room he could tell he was in a hospital bed, his side ached every time he tried to reposition himself. Where was Y/N? Why was he here?

Sometimes I wish I’d never met you!

Levi felt his stomach drop, an uncomfortable lump forming in his throat as he remembered the last thing he’d said to Y/N. The events of the previous night came back in flashes, the smell of burnt rubber, Y/N’s scream echoed around in his mind. Levi pulled himself up ignoring the sharp jabs of pain coming from every part of his body. He had to find her, he needed to know she was okay, that their baby was okay. 

Pulling the IV out of his arm, he attempted to swing his legs over the side of the bed. His left leg was stitched up from just his knee to the top of his thigh and God did it fucking hurt trying to move. Setting his foot down on the cold tiles he hissed, nearly collapsing onto the ground as he tried to distribute his weight to take enough pressure off of his injured leg. It was a bitch to try and walk around but he had made it to the door of his room, albeit sweating heavily and panting. His body was too hot, everything was too bright and too loud.

“Sir what are you doing? You shouldn’t get out of bed” A gentle looking nurse says calmly while trying to direct him back into his room.

“Where is she? Is she okay?” Levi demands and he can see a brief look of pity flash across her face but it’s gone in seconds.

“You can see her when you’re properly healed from your surgery! You’re in no condition to be walking!” She says in a more authoritative voice, yet still fairly calm. Levi attempts to shove past her but stumbles when his ankle gives out, hissing in pain and annoyance. With quick reflexes she manages to catch him easily, calling for another nurse to help her transport him back to bed. Levi was relentless in struggling against them, soon two nurses became three and Levi realized with disdain that he was getting nowhere.

“Please...I need to know she’s okay” the throbbing in his side was getting worse and his entire leg felt like it was on fire.

“His stitches ripped,” one of the nurses stated while they maneuvered him back to the bed. His eyes pleading with the first nurse he’d ran into.

“We aren’t allowed to disclose information on her condition to anyone who isn’t family but I can tell you that Miss L/N is resting and her condition is stable” Levi felt momentary relief but he wouldn’t get his hopes up until he could see her with his own eyes.

Grunting when they placed him back in bed the pain that had briefly subsided in his panicked episode was coming back all at once. He needed to apologize for saying something so horrible to her. He obviously didn’t mean it, he had been so lost in his own pettiness that he had said something for the sole purpose of hurting her feelings. It was stupid, childish. The moment he saw her, he was going to beg for her forgiveness. From that day on he would do whatever it took to make it up to her for putting them through this mess.

Levi’s stomach churned as he thought of their baby...only seven months along, he hoped they would survive. He’d never be able to live with himself if something happened.

His thoughts kept him distracted, replaying their fight in his head over and over wishing that he had paid more attention to the road, drove slower, used his fucking head and calmed down.

“Mr.Ackerman?” Levi’s eyes shot open, his bubble instantly popped by the sudden intrusion beside him. He didn’t know how many hours had passed since the nurses had fixed his stitches or when he had fallen asleep.

“I’m Dr. Jaeger, I’m here to answer any questions you might have regarding your surgery.” Levi could give a rats ass about himself.

“Y/N. I want to see her.” That familiar look of pity flashed across the doctors face and Levi was growing sick of it. There was obviously something they weren’t telling him. Sighing softly Dr.Jaeger nodded.

“I’ll take you to see her but there are a few things you need to know first.” Levi didn’t like where this was going, a foreshadowing sense of  dread settling itself in the pit of his stomach.

“We’ve checked her medical records, it seems that she has no immediate family. You’re her emergency contact.” Levi nodded, it was something they had discussed after a year of being together. Y/N didn’t have any immediate relatives and the only remaining family she did have lived across the globe. It wasn’t a hard decision to make at the time, he hadn’t been thinking of worst case scenarios when he agreed to become her emergency contact.

“Meaning that you’re going to be making this decision for her.” Dr. Jaeger continued cautiously, waiting for an outburst.

“What decision?” A nurse entered the room with a wheelchair, Levi’s lips were set in a thin line. He wanted to see her more than anything but now he wasn’t sure what he was going to be met with.

“I’ll explain when we get there” Levi didn’t like that answer but complied, figuring it was better to go along with them rather than demanding answers. He begrudgingly allowed Dr. Jaeger and the nurse to help him into the wheelchair. He hated being dependent on others but after ripping his stitches open he didn’t want to go through the trouble again. It would only delay him seeing Y/N.

The trip to her room felt impossibly long, Levi’s hands were balled into fists in his lap. When they finally stopped outside her room, Dr. Jaeger gingerly placed a hand on Levi’s shoulder. Unreadable grey eyes locked onto green ones. It almost felt like he was being prepared for what was awaiting him on the other side of the door.

Levi felt nothing but guilt as his eyes drank in Y/N’s unconscious form, there were bruises and cuts littering her face and arms. A tube was inserted down her throat meaning she was unable to breathe on her own.

“She can hear you but we aren’t sure when she’ll wake up.” The silence was heavy, Levi’s mind was reeling with possibilities he didn’t want to consider.

“You don’t know when she’ll wake up or if she’ll wake up?” An inevitable sense of hopelessness gripped him by the throat, slowly squeezing the air out of his lungs.

“There were a few...complications with her surgery. Due to the force of the impact her brain suffered swelling and hemorrhaging, internal bleeding in the brain. We’ve done all we can to try and reduce the swelling, the rest is up to her.” 

Levi hated the way he sounded so...bland about it. Like this kind of thing happened everyday, and yeah, it probably did but Levi couldn’t help but feel angry as his entire world was being ripped from his hands so cruelly. Levi had learned early on that this was the way the world worked. It moved on, life didn’t stop while he struggled to pick up the pieces that had shattered.

“What about the baby?” He asked tightly, keeping his eyes focused on the blank face of his lover. His mind was clouded over with too many emotions to process at once. Everything just felt like white hot rage, burning its way through his body with no regard for what it destroyed.

“The baby is doing well, it was a miracle they survived. We’re still monitoring them closely, if anything happens we’ll have no choice but to perform an emergency c-section.” Levi’s shoulders slumped forward with relief, his baby girl was okay. He picked up Y/N’s hand locking their fingers together before pressing a small kiss to her knuckles. However, the relief he felt was short lived.

“What decision am I supposed to be making for her?” He asked, turning his head too sharply to glare at the doctor.

“In the event that miss L/N’s coma progresses to a vegetative state, it is your decision on whether to keep her on life support or let her go” Levi’s jaw clenched, she was going to wake up! She had to.

“What’s going to happen to the baby?” Forcing himself to breathe Levi was seconds away from losing his control, his eyes were burning, the lump in his throat pressing uncomfortably against his Adam’s apple. He wouldn’t cry, he needed to be strong for her.

“As long as her brain is able to carry out regular functioning the baby is in no danger. Providing there are no further complications the baby can safely be delivered via c-section.” Taking in a shuddering breath all Levi could do was nod his understanding. He didn’t want this, they were supposed to go through this together but now he was alone.

“I’ll give you some time alone with her, try talking to her. It might help.” Levi watched the peaks rise and fall on the EKG monitor, she was so close to him and yet he had never felt farther from her than in that moment. Levi placed a hand on her stomach, something he had done many times before while Y/N slept except now it felt weird. Like he shouldn’t be touching her, didn’t deserve to be touching her. Black locks covered his face as he hung his head unable to fight back the bitter tears that had been building up since he’d regained consciousness.

“What do you think we should name her?” Y/N asked her fingers absentmindedly carding through his hair while he rested his head in her lap. The more her belly grew the more often Levi found himself wanting to spend as much time talking to their baby as possible. After Y/N had told him that she could hear them, he wanted her to get used to the sound of his voice.

“I’m not sure, what’s a fitting name for my little princess?” Y/N couldn’t fight the grin that spread over her face, watching her boyfriend address their baby like they were having a conversation was one of her favourite things.

“Hm, how about London?”

“No, I’m not naming my daughter after a city” Y/N scrolled through the list of baby names she’d pulled up on her phone, their new nightly routine consisted of trying to find a name for the baby. Despite it being only five months along they were both impatient to meet their baby, Levi referred to her solely as his little princess while Y/N had taken up calling her pumpkin. They butted heads with every name, either Levi said it sounded too tacky or Y/N complained that it wasn’t unique enough.

“How about Alabama?” Levi’s head craned up to meet her eyes, a look of disbelief on his face.

“Please tell me you’re joking”

“This is impossible” she sighed defeatedly.

“Let me see” Levi reached out to grab her phone, eyes scrolling down the list until one name caught his attention.

“How about this one?” Y/N raises an eyebrow in interest, her eyes lock with Levi’s.

“Not bad shorty, not bad”

♡    ♡    ♡

The following weeks were torturous, Levi was still unable to walk on his own. After calming down Dr. Jaeger has explained that his femur had been fractured and would take a while to heal. His torso still ached but it was nothing in comparison to the pain he felt during physical therapy. During the times he wasn’t learning how to walk, something he hated with his entire being, he was in Y/N’s room. The nurses didn’t have the heart to move him, eventually they had given up trying to coax Levi back into his own room allowing them to be together. It made Levi easier to deal with and he was less grumpy when it came time to bring him to therapy. Y/N’s condition hadn’t gotten worse but it showed no signs of getting better and while Levi was grateful for it he was struggling to hold on the longer she was unconscious.

“I miss you...I hope you can hear me. I know I don’t deserve you, not after what happened. Princess is doing okay but she’s gonna need you babe, I need you! I can’t do this by myself. Please, wake up” Levi didn’t have much time to talk to her during the day, but at night he poured his heart out in ways he never had and every night it made him feel guilty.

 Things he should have told her while she was in his arms, moments he took for granted that he might not ever get to experience again. With crushing realization Levi couldn’t even remember the last time he had kissed her, worse he couldn’t remember the last time he had told her he loved her. Pressing his face into the mattress he cried silently, the grip on her hand tightening as he bit back sobs.

He knew it was stupid, giving himself false hope that maybe one day she’d wake up. It had already been over a month and soon enough they would be delivering their baby. Levi was not confident in his ability to be a parent, let alone a single parent. He didn’t even want to think about it, he needed Y/N. But even if she woke up, what would happen, would she be the same person he remembered?

Levi hated being late, if it wasn’t for the fifteen minutes he’d spent trying to shovel his car out of the snow he wouldn’t be sweating his ass off just before going on a date. Not that he really wanted to be going on one in the first place but Hange and Erwin had both decided to meddle into his pathetic love life and set him up with someone they knew. Levi could care less about dating, he didn’t have time to emotionally support someone else, not while he was so invested in trying to earn his masters.

 However, he was fed up with Hange giving out his number to random girls and she promised that if he went on this date she’d stop meddling. Levi would suffer through two hours of his life if it meant he didn’t have to receive anymore texts from clingy girls with shitty pick up lines. Besides his closed off personality was usually enough for them to get uncomfortable, calling off the date early. Levi waited inside his car for a few minutes, not wanting to rush in drenched with sweat.

Actually, maybe that was a good idea. The sooner he scared her off the better. Levi walked into the restaurant, the waiter glanced at him weirdly but said nothing as Levi was led to his table. The sight of his date had him doing a double take, none of the girls Hange set him up with had ever looked as beautiful as her.

“Oh, good you’re here! I was about to order without you. Levi right?” Her eyes never left the menu in front of her and Levi was a little taken back by her brash attitude. Not only did she completely disregard his presence but she was going to start eating without him. When her eyes finally met his Levi felt the wind being knocked out of him, her eyes were mesmerizing.

“Huh...well I guess you’re not bad. Although, Hange really talked you up. I will admit you’re, by far, the most decent looking guy she’s set me up with” She laughed and Levi willed himself to ignore the way he craved to hear more of it. He hated to admit it but he was used to being completely fawned over by his dates, this was...new.

As the night went on Levi found himself enjoying her presence. Y/N was entertaining, she was sarcastic and witty and not afraid of his sharp comebacks. He had completely lost track of time, he needed to see more of her. He wasn’t going to be satisfied with one date.

“You know, you’re pretty good company” Y/N smirked, and for the first time in his life Levi felt butterflies in his stomach. Levi usually drove his dates home and if he felt like it had even given a few of them a goodnight kiss. But nothing had ever made him feel the way Y/N did, her lips fit against his like they were made for him. Her hands molded perfectly with his; and as they pulled apart out of breath, his heart pounding against his ribcage, Levi knew he was in trouble.

“Levi?” Levi’s daydreaming was interrupted by Hange’s cautious voice. Hange and Erwin were staring at him like he was fragile, like if they said the wrong thing he’d break. He hated the way their gazes drifted towards his leg, the ugly stitches immediately caught everyone’s attention. It was a constant reminder of his stupidity. 

 Hange’s eyes were wet with tears as she enveloped Levi in a firm hug. It hurt but at the same time he almost craved it, they were his closest friends. The only ones who could understand the pain he felt. Levi had been waiting outside of the delivery room for what felt like hours. They had asked him to wait in his room but Levi wanted to be there the second their baby was delivered. He couldn’t tell if things were going well, but there was a feeling he couldn’t shake. His gut was telling him that the dread he’d been feeling since they had rushed her into an emergency c-section wasn’t paranoia.

“Have you heard anything?” Erwin asked, taking a seat next to Levi.

“Not yet” Erwin was used to Levi’s short worded responses, but this was something different. Levi’s body was tense, glancing down Erwin took in how white his knuckles were. His eyes were trained on the doors in front of them, he looked so different from the person they’d seen months ago. Hange grabbed one of his clenched fists in her hands and Levi made no attempts to shove her off of him. The sound of the door being pushed open almost made him vomit with nerves, if he could he would’ve been on his feet already.

“Mr. Ackerman, we’re ready for you.” They weren’t giving anything away but Levi felt like he already knew what was coming.

“We’ll be here” Hange said, giving his hands a reassuring squeeze.

The room was divided by a curtain, Levi felt his body go numb as he listened to Dr. Jaeger give him the news he’d been dreading.

“We’re very sorry, we did everything we could but there was too much bleeding.” He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it. He struggled to take in shuddering breaths, nails digging crescents into the cold palm of his hands. Angry tears pricked at his tired eyes. It wasn’t fair! She was too young, their lives were only beginning. Levi thought of every dream they had ever talked about, finishing their degrees, travelling the world together, getting married.

“Would you like to hold her?” The question distracts him, for a second Levi felt himself hesitate. Did he really want this? He was by no means parental material and the thought of having to raise their daughter without Y/N was terrifying. Levi nodded, unsure of what to expect. He hadn’t expected to cry at the sight of their baby but she was without a doubt the most beautiful child he had ever seen. During the last two months Y/N’s body had fought to keep their baby alive, he didn’t care that people were watching him. He would never be able to go back and change the past, but he would take the precious gift she had given him to create a better future.

“Do you have a name picked out?” Levi’s eyes were focused on the miracle in front of him. Their baby, the last piece of Y/N he would have to remember for the rest of his life. They had agreed on a name months ago but Levi felt like it wasn’t enough to express the meaning that the tiny human in his arms had abruptly brought into his life.

“Yeah, I do”

♡    ♡    ♡

The crisp air nipped at his cheeks, tinting them with a youthful rosy pink. It was a beautiful day, the kind of fall weather Y/N loved. The sun was warm despite the chilly autumn wind, she loved sweater weather. It was only fitting that she be laid to rest on a day as beautiful as she was. Levi’s emotions were anything but cheerful, his heart was heavy. There were so many things he wanted to tell her. He could only hope that she had heard him the countless nights he had spent lying next to her apologizing for what he’d done.

Levi’s gaze lingered on the cloudless sky, hoping that wherever Y/N was, she knew how much he loved her, and would always love her. The swaddled bundle in his arms begins to stir, drawing his attention back to Lily.

‘She looks just like you’ he thought, a bittersweet smile on his lips. Her eyes opened slowly, e/c orbs trying to focus on his face. Levi’s breath caught in his throat as his eyes burned with tears once more. No matter how many times he looked at her, he was breathless. Lily looked so much like Y/N it almost physically hurt sometimes. Levi wished he could turn back time, do it all over again. If he hadn’t been so reckless then he wouldn’t have to be standing over his girlfriend’s grave holding their motherless baby. The guilt never went away, it still felt like just yesterday that Y/N had been in his arms.

Some nights his chest ached so bad he felt like he was going to die, sleep completely evading him. Other mornings he woke up searching out her body in his drowsy state. Only to remember that she was gone. The bed was too big, it was cold and empty without her. Sometimes Levi swore he could still hear the sound of her voice calling him to wake up. But every time he opened his eyes she was never there. The only reason Levi still got out of bed in the morning was because of Lily.

“It’s just you and me princess” he said softly, stroking her cheek with the back of his fingers. Levi’s life would have ended the moment Y/N’s had if it wasn’t for Lily. A flower that had bloomed in the darkest time of his life. His second chance for a life after Y/N.

[saladejin]

Call An Uber? | 10

BTS x Reader | idolverse au, uber driver!Reader, translator!Reader | Fluff, flirting, super slow burn, angst and hurt/comfort, mature themes and eventual smut

Summary: Your normal life with a normal, yet inconsistent job gets drastically changed when your dreams come true. Sounds boring right?

What happens when all of this occurs, but you’re still doing something you love AND getting a large sum for it? Now there’s something to think about, and it’s definitely not what you’re thinking.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2.5k

< masterpost >

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  Red, Red, Brownish? Brown, I guess.

Well, things had definitely taken a turn.

Brown, even darker brown.

Was my brain even working? It had been days, but I still didn’t even know the answer to that question. Ever since I had returned to my apartment that night, things had been hard to grasp. The cogs were in tiny pieces, littering the floor inside my head.

Brown, brown.

My finger stopped and tapped the can in front of my eyes, almost as if trying to calibrate my scattered thoughts and feelings at the same time.

Black. 

Okay, so now my life had truly reached a peak of existence. People very rarely lived their dreams, but here I was. A very much living and breathing instance of such luck.

I’d expressed my shaken gratitude to Bang PD right before he had to go. He had many important things to see to back at his company, and I had no intentions of keeping him waiting in the carpark just because I couldn’t flounder any more with my words. I really hoped he would forgive me for my moments of delay...in the mind, at least.

“You’re a blessing.”

Am I a blessing? I think I’m just the blessed one here.

The plastic bag was gently taken from my fingers and I looked up to see the slightly concerned gaze of the stylist raking over me. “Are you okay, (Y/n)-ah?”

I smiled and shook my head in pure disbelief. “I’m sure I’m fine. Sorry if I seem a bit dazed, it’s not something to be worried about.”

The stylist tilted her head fondly, and I rolled my eyes when she jerked her hand forward to pinch my right cheek. “You’re so cute, please say you’ll stay with us for a bit longer?”

I frowned and looked down pointedly at my wristwatch, seeing that my small break was almost due to finish up. The hopeful tinge alighting the taller woman’s eyes flickered out as I sighed and shook my head.

“Sorry, I have work to do. And this room is slowly killing me, I swear,” I whined to try and lighten the mood. I didn’t want the workers to feel sad just because I had to leave and do my actual job. The fact that most of my break had been spent driving down to the shop was sad enough on its own.

“You know we’re trying to get better ventilation,” another woman piped up from where she was organising makeup supplies, and I smiled when every person in the room let out an amused groan simultaneously.

“Our lungs are a small price to pay,” a male stylist snorted with disdain.

I left the room to joke amongst themselves, having already spending way too much of my time in there as it was. The basement was becoming like a second workplace, but it was only because I finished my jobs as an interpreter quite swiftly as the day went on. Practical things like interviews were happening rarely at this point in time, but I knew once the boys had their comeback, things would change greatly.

I passed the brightened practice room as usual and smiled to see some of the boys already delving right into their daily routines. This time, every single one of them could be seen warming up to the sound of the choreographer’s snappy instructions. I felt proud and awed at the sight of their determination to practice so hard, getting every minuscule move down to the point of perfection.

“Hello.”

I grunted with surprise as my attention was torn away from the narrow door window. I hadn’t even realised I’d stopped to observe through the glass, but now a deep and somnolent voice had broken me from the trance.

“Yoongi, damn you’re quiet.” I laughed airily, resisting the urge to clasp at my chest to calm the rapidly beating heart contained within. I glanced at the man in front of me, noting his attire to be fairly casual but sporty at the same time. His faded hair was partially hidden under a black cap. I remembered him mentioning it was due for a cut sometime soon.

“Sorry, but you’re just too easy to scare. You remind me of Hoseok-ah.” He smiled a tiny smile and leaned forwards to glance into the practice room. I watched as his facial expression grimaced slightly.

“You don’t want to head in yet?” I took a few steps, so I was out of the door window's view, and leaned against the adjacent wall. I didn’t want to accuse him of anything sly or sluggish, but it was quite clear that he was reluctant.

“It’s not that,” he began, and I was surprised when he moved to stand in front of me slowly. It seemed he also didn’t want to be accidentally seen by the other members practising inside the room. “I’m just being lazy, and I already practised so much yesterday that I’m worn out already by looking at them.”

I knew that wasn’t entirely true, as the rapper had a lot of stamina when it came to spending long hours at a time performing. Just as they all did, in fact.

“Poor you, why don’t you take a few minutes to chat with me then?” I suggested jokingly, and saw him raise an eyebrow before grinning with amusement. That gummy smile could literally brighten any of my gloomy days.

“If you insist.” He nodded thoughtfully, and I held back a betrayed gasp at how quickly he’d turned the situation around to be in his favour. All that escaped was an abrupt noise of protest, and he laughed again at my widened eyes.

“I seriously did want to talk with you though.”

He looked down, but his voice remained of the same calm levelled tone. He messed around with the drink bottle in his hands while I nodded and rested my back against the wall more comfortably.

“It’s about the other night. I actual...I actually wanted to thank you.”

My mind slowed to process his words. He had lifted his gaze to meet mine intently, and I was so surprised to see how much their inky depths had softened from their initial sharpness. I couldn’t help but suddenly notice how much livelier he looked, compared to when I had taken him on a car ride that one time.

“The concert night? I think I have more to thank all of you for.” I smiled at the thought, memories of the experience flooding right back through me.

“While that is true, I wanted to thank you for what you did for Jimin,” he continued on a serious note, his hands fiddling even more with the plastic bottle. I knew it was hard for him to open up to others so quickly into a conversation, let alone admit the vulnerabilities he and his bandmates shared. I only wished I could communicate how grateful I was for the sentiment.

“When he gets like that, I must admit that it confuses me a lot. We all know he works the hardest to be the best he can, and even then he has this belief that it’s never enough. I don’t think I can ever understand where he gets the negativity from, but in his mind he views the smallest mistake as something bigger.”

I nodded in agreement, but felt sickeningly bad at the same time. I didn’t want to talk too deeply about Jimin and his insecurities when he wasn’t there to hear my thoughts. I wasn’t sure why, but it just felt rude for me to launch into something I had so much to say on.

“I just wanted to thank you for the comfort. I mean, we all have our doubts especially when it comes to performing, but I’m glad you were there for him when we couldn’t see it,” Yoongi finished bluntly, and I knew he had a similar feeling of guilt when it came to talking about the younger member. It truly moved me to hear his outward display of care and appreciation.

“I’m… so happy you’re saying this, I’d love nothing more than to be honest with all of you and let you guys know just how talented and inspirational you are. The doubts will probably never go away, but I believe they can be changed with hard work and confirmation. That – That's why I’ll try and provide that in any way that I can.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened the smallest fraction before they returned to normal, and I didn’t miss the sharp exhalation that fell from his lips as he cast his gaze downwards.

“Wow, you…”

He stopped and I watched as his face broke out into a shy smile before he sniffed and continued to smile while looking straight at me instead. I hoped I hadn’t overwhelmed him too much.

“That’s all we can ask for, thank you. I literally don’t know what else to say.”

“It’s fine, I don’t expect anything more in return,” I chuckled to break any deep and emotional tension resting on our shoulders.

“Just keep making music. We love it as much as you do, I hope you know that.”

Yoongi nodded, a proud smirk working its way gently onto his face.

“Well that goes without saying, I don’t think I could ever stop.”

I glanced my head to the side, watching to see if anyone was approaching before pouting.

“If you did, I think I would have to file a complaint. You’d have more than a few hundred girls suing you then.”

He raised both brows and huffed quietly. “Would I now? My money is disappearing before my eyes.”

My giggle was cut short as the door to the room opened and the bright light filtered out into the hallway where we were talking. A curious Namjoon appeared and held the door open as he trailed his eyes from me to Yoongi, then back to me.

“Hey (Y/n).” He dipped his head formally, then turned a questioning glance to his older bandmate.

“How long have you been out here, hyung?”

Yoongi looked around aloofly and shrugged, turning on his heel to start making his way through the door. Namjoon looked taken aback, and as a result I covered my mouth with one hand to stifle a snort of amusement.

“Sorry, it was my fault for making him chat,” I explained while calming down, waving my hand in an apologetic manner. Yoongi paused with pursed lips.

“Well, I talked, so it was both our fault.”

Namjoon also shrugged and looked behind his shoulder quickly.

“Well, you know how he gets when you’re too late,” the leader warned with a hushed tone so nobody inside would hear him. Yoongi nodded in a brooding thought before turning back to where I was still standing pressed against the wall.

“See you (Y/n).”

I waved my goodbye and returned Namjoon’s small nod of acknowledgement before the door was slowly brought to a close once more. The air of the hallway felt colder now that I was left alone in it, and I shivered before rushing over to the elevator doors to make my escape.

~

The day was now drawing closer to nightfall. I blinked my eyes tiredly at the computer screen in front of me, barely having had any rest for the past couple of nights just because I was positively brimming with excitement over the thought of touring. I really wanted to bring it up with the boys to hear their thoughts, but the earlier conversation with Yoongi hadn't been the right time or place really. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut forever, so it was either they found out some other way or watched as I inched my way into their day to day schedules; ready to let the cat out of the bag.

I finished up a few translating tasks that were sent via email and breathed a deep sigh at the sight of sent work. It was somewhat a struggle to remember the last time I’d experienced such an intense sense of release. At least now I could go home and treat myself to some wine and snacks whenever I pleased.

“(Y/n), I just got a message from downstairs,” one of the other office workers said with a slightly confused expression painting his features. “Said they had a surprise?”

I hummed suspiciously before standing up straight and letting the wheeling chair roll away behind me. My hair, which had fallen out from being tied up all day, now flowed over my shoulders in an uncontrollable manner. I let my eyes gain a dramatic glint.

“If I don’t come back, call the police.”

The man laughed before shaking his head, and I smiled before packing up my desk and preparing to head to the elevator yet again. How many trips had I done just today?

I seriously need to pick a place to work and stay there.

The ride down seemed to take milliseconds, as I was so full of anticipation that time lost all presence. What were the stylists meaning by surprise? This could literally be anything, so I was a little scared to be completely honest.

I nervously shifted from foot to foot once halted outside the large door, raising one tentative hand to rap lightly on its surface.

To say I was unprepared would be an understatement and a half.

The door drifted ajar with an audible creak and I jumped when Seokjin’s face appeared from around the edge. He looked worn out from the day of practising, but the tall singer instantly broke into a grin when he saw me loitering outside the entryway.

“Hey (Y/n)!”

Then his face fell as he threw a quick glance into the room behind him.

“Um, what brings you here?”

Things were weird, I could tell by the way he was purposefully holding the door to block off my curiously wandering eyes.

“Oh, (Y/n)-ah! Come in, come in!” The excitable voice of my stylist unni broke through the heavily guarded atmosphere, and I watched as Seokjin furrowed his brows in semi-protest. It seemed like he truly didn’t want me to see what was happening behind the door, but it was obvious he was going to lose the battle one way or another.

“Hyung let her in!” 

Taehyung’s voice now perked up from somewhere within the room, and I couldn’t let the flames of my curiosity dwindle anymore. I giggled with triumph as Seokjin’s shoulders sagged in defeat. He swung the door open to let me pass following another two beats of hesitation. I wondered why he was so defensive, but soon learned when my eyes drank in the scene.

The boys were seated in front of the mirrors lining the makeup room, but some were walking around while either looking at their phones or chatting to stylists. Each one looked up when I entered the strongly scented space.

I tried to avoid crinkling my noise at the sharp aroma of dye, but the notion fell to the back of my mind when I fully registered the sight before me.

Because now, every single one had their hair coloured black. 

            Copyright © 2020 by salade. All rights reserved.  

tagged: @joyful-jimin, @l4life, @gee-nee​, @m0chilattae​, @rossemayme​, @doilooklikeinoe​, @jeon-joker​, @topthis808​, @justyouraveragerando​,@xcastielbabyangelface​

[mlmxreader]

Everything I Can | Kuai Liang/Sub Zero

Sensory overload is a bitch, but luckily, you have the one person in the world who gets it without needing an explanation 

You were stressed and very clearly not doing very well, more stressed and unusual than usual and normal, and Kuai could see it from the start; when you would usually be open and gladly talk to whoever happened to start conversation, you were closed off and snappy, isolating yourself and putting on a cold mask of short temper to anyone who even looked at you, closing your eyes and holding your head when no one was looking, whining and softly wincing. More than anything, Kuai wanted to ask what was wrong and help you to be calm and destress, but with everyone pulling him this way and that and asking him to do one thing or another and perform his duties as Grandmaster, he couldn’t break away for long enough to do so; he had a good enough of where you would go - either off where the horizon met the top of the snowy mountains or in the garden at home, looking out at the sky and staring off into nothingness.

The very second he had time, Kuai found you in the former of the two, and gently placed his hand on your shoulder as he sat beside you on the frozen rock, his hand ghosting down your skin to hold your hand tightly in his own.

“What are you so stressed about, snowflake?” He asked softly, his voice quiet and careful, the same voice he used when he knew you were deeply upset or hurt, the same voice he used to talk to you when you were sick and couldn’t move from the bed; calming, low, soft, quiet and careful - like a lullaby.

You sighed, resting your head on his shoulder and frowning. “I’ve just been… thinking a lot, lately, and it doesn’t seem to stop, and everything’s so loud and noisy and bright and blinding all the time, and I can’t handle it… I want it all to stop.”

Kuai knew what you meant, he knew that there were often periods of time where the world was too bright and too loud, and you just needed some time to chill out somewhere quiet and fairly dark, somewhere that wouldn’t make your head hurt and throb and pound. “Would you like me to get you a glass of water?”

You shook your head, burying your face against him with a soft whine. “Please don’t go…”

“It’s okay, I’ll stay,” he assured, letting go of your hand and rubbing your back softly. “Come on, come sit on my lap, it might make you feel a little better.”

You nodded, slowly getting on his lap and curling up a bit so that your knees were against your chest and he was cradling you in his arms to ensure you wouldn’t fall; silence was easy and relaxing while you slowly recovered from the overload that had wrecked your senses, and when you were finally able to speak without wincing, you did.

“Y’know, I can’t thank you enough for this, Kuai…”

Kuai shook his head, kissing the top of your head sweetly. “You know you don’t have to thank me, (y/n), looking after you is what I do, you shouldn’t feel the need to thank me.”

You sniffled a little, neck clicking as you looked up at him. “Yeah, but… usually, when I get like that, people tend to, y’know… go away until I’m okay again.”

“Not me,” he told you quietly. “For as long as I’m around, snowflake, I’ll do everything I can to look after you… now, why don’t we go get something to eat, and something to drink at home, and you can lie down for a little while?”

You nodded, clearing your throat and preparing to make a move off of his lap. “That sounds good, yeah.”

[lordofthenerds97]

You’ve Got to be Kidding

Masterlist Summary: You’ve been away from your hometown since you were sixteen. But when you get an unexpected call from your Uncle, things change. Oh, and who can forget having to deal with one of the people you hate the most? Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader / Billy Hargrove x Reader Modern AU / Marvel Crossover Warnings: Mild cursing, hilariously cliche tropes, love triangles, the whole shebang Chapter 1

A loud yelp fell from your lips as you crashed to the floor. Tendrils of darkness surrounded you, emanating from your body. Your normally h/c hair was nothing but wisps of black smoke and your once bright eyes were pitch black as you glared at the wall, trying to get yourself back up.

“Come on, Y/N, you can do it.”

Your glare turned from the wall to Tony, who was standing on the opposite side of the room with his arms crossed. His gaze wasn’t scrutinizing or degrading. It was more concern and curiosity.

“You wanna try moving through dimensions and come crashing back out?” you spat.

He raised an eyebrow. “Well someone’s snappy.”

“You’re surprised?”

Another voice joined the conversation and you looked across the room to the door leading to the track, a glare on your face. “Move on, Barnes. Before I blast you into oblivion.”

He rolled his eyes. “You can’t even walk right now.”

Your eyes flashed in anger and you thrust a hand forward, a wave of inky blackness shooting from your fingertips. You hissed in pain as it left your body, falling back to your knees.

Barnes looked at you with furrowed brows. “You sure you’re up to the task, Onyx?”

“Get out, Barnes. You’re not helping the situation.” Tony snapped, glaring at the soldier. “If you couldn’t tell, I’m trying to help her. And you’re just pissing her off.”

He shrugged. “Maybe that’s what she needs. A little motivation, you know?”

“Just get out.”

Barnes rolled his eyes but held up his hands, turning and walking back out to the track. You glared at his retreating back before looking back at Tony. A sigh escaped as you managed to haul yourself to your feet. You clenched your fists and looked down, the blackness of your powers seeping through your veins and making your skin pale. “Sorry,” you said. Opening your eyes, the darkness slowly ebbed away, leaving you with your normal appearance and without a raspy voice. “I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Tony ran his fingers over his goatee as he thought, gazing at you with slightly narrowed eyes. “I’m not sure, but I have a few ideas.” He crossed his arms and pursed his lips, waiting to ask his next question.

“Spit it out, T.”

“What’s with you and Barnes?” he asked. “The tension is so thick I could cut it with a knife. Don’t tell me you haven’t hit that yet.”

You growled, glaring at him with the passion of a thousand burning suns. “Watch it, Tony. The only reason I put up with him is because I need your help.”

Tony snorted and rolled his eyes. “No, the reason you put up with him is because he’s on your team. I do think you need to work on your trust issues with him. Maybe a team building exercise would be-”

“No.”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine,” he conceded. “For now, I’ll leave it alone. But you have to address the issue at some point.”

“What issue?”

“The fact that you can’t stand to be in the same room as each other for more than a few minutes at a time without trying to tear each other apart.”

You grumbled something under your breath. But in reality, you knew he was right. You were having a hard time getting along with Bucky. In fact, you never did really see eye to eye with the soldier. The two of you had entirely different ways of looking at things, approaching situations, and dealing with targets. Those views had gotten you into trouble more times than you would care to count. Sometimes it even came to blows between you, and when it did, you shook the entire compound.

Bucky would get a few good hits in and you would barely manage to stop yourself from ripping the place to shreds. You were fairly sure your current issues had something to do with your focus around the super soldier, but you wouldn’t dare voice the thought aloud. Tony would be the first one to jump on the whole ‘you should screw him and see if that helps’ train. He’d been after you about it for months, and it wasn’t seeming to get any better.

Tony’s voice dragged you out of your thoughts, making you focus on him again. “I want to run a few tests to make sure your-”

“Onyx!”

Your eyes swiveled up to the platform above you where Thor was standing. “Yeah?” you called.

“Someone is looking for you.”

That made a frown crease your features. Who would be looking for you? No one knew where you were. And The people that even knew you existed was rather short. “Who is it?”

He shrugged. “He said he is family.”

“He?” you muttered to yourself as you looked at Tony. He shrugged in response.

“Don’t look at me. I haven’t told anyone about you.”

You sighed, preparing yourself for whatever lay in wait for you. “I’ll be back in five.” you said. Tony nodded, watching you start stripping off the top layers of your uniform as you walked away. He shook his head quietly. The questions he had about you only seemed to grow the longer he knew you.

You ran your fingers through your hair and walked into the lab where Thor was. “Who am I looking for?” you asked.

He was sitting in front of a holoscreen with his arms folded. You could see the video from your position at the door and you raised an eyebrow. Thor looked none too happy with the man he was talking to.

“Exactly how do you know Y/N?” he asked.

The man on the other end rolled his eyes and scrubbed a hand down his face. “Look, I’m her Uncle, okay? Her mother’s brother.”

Thor still looked less than convinced. But you approached silently, setting a hand on his shoulder. “I got this, Thor.” you said softly. He stood up and looked at you, a frown still on his face. “It’s alright.”

With another glance back at the monitor he left you alone with a few mumblings.

You sat down in surprise, staring at the man with wide eyes. “Uncle Jim?” you asked.

“Hey kiddo.” he responded.

Then your logical side began to take over, sending you into a brief panic. “How did you know I was here?” you asked suspiciously, your eyes narrowing at him.

He held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Your mom told me everything before she disappeared. She gave me this number to call if anything were to happen.”

You crossed your arms. “What do you mean? What happened?”

Jim sighed again. “That’s a loaded question, Y/N…” he said. “I don’t have a lot of time. But I need your help.”

You raised an eyebrow. “With what? Haven’t you got Hawkins under control yet?”

He let out a frustrated sigh and looked at you with a slight glare. “I don’t know what I’m up against here, kid. There’s teenagers with superpowers, monsters from another dimension, and all sorts of screwed up problems that I don’t know how to deal with.”

That caught your attention. “Wait, wait, wait. Superpowers and other dimensions?”

He gave you a pointed look. “Isn’t that what I just said?”

“Have you told anyone else about this?” you hissed.

Jim shrugged. “There’s a few people that know. Oh, plus the organization that started all of it. But those lunatics got shut down. Most of them are dead if not in prison.”

You ran a hand through your hair. “This other dimension…what is it?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I was hoping you could help us out.”

The information he was giving you wasn’t helping a whole lot. And it didn’t appear that he knew much more than he was telling. “I’m coming, hang on.” Before he could protest, the necklace you wore began to pulse rapidly before your eyes turned black and you disappeared in a puff of smoke. He blinked in surprise but recoiled when you went crashing to the floor from the ceiling about fifteen feet above you.

You screamed as you fell, crashing through a glass table and ending up with several cuts and bruises. You let out a groan when you landed, feeling the ache all over your body that you had grown accustomed to.

“Y/N?!” Jim shouted, grabbing the camera in front of him. You managed to lift your arm, waving him off when you coughed.

“Great,” you hissed to yourself when the doors slid open.

“Y/N?”

Your hair fell in your face when you looked up. Bucky was kneeling beside you, hand on your back as he tried to help you up. His metal hand clasped around your arm while his flesh one gripped your waist as you stood up. You winced in pain, noticing the shard of glass that was sticking out of your side.

“Y/N, what’s going on?!”

You hissed, sucking in a breath between your teeth as you screwed your eyes shut. Black smoke was seeping out of the wound as your skin paled. “Pull it out,” you snapped to Bucky.

He did as he was told, rapidly yanking the glass from your side. Jim’s eyes widened when you cursed loudly when the foreign object was removed and more smoke spilled out of your side. You ground your teeth together and put as much pressure as you could on the wound. While you weren’t invincible, it took a lot to hurt you when you were connected to the Dimension. Or at least, it did when you were properly connected.

“Did you try teleporting again?” Bucky asked sternly, looking up at the ceiling where a portal was slowly closing.

You grunted in response and the doors to the lab opened again. This time Tony rushed inside, looking around wildly. His eyes settled on the destroyed table and the bloody shards that surrounded you and Bucky.

“What happened?”

“I tried leaving,” you hissed, glaring at the two men. “As you can see, it didn’t work out so well for me.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and released you, knowing your healing factor would kick in soon. “God, Y/N. Haven’t you learned anything?”

The glare you wore briefly flickered to hurt, so fast you knew he wouldn’t have seen it. “Can’t you try being a little sensitive for once, Barnes?” you snapped.

He growled and left the room, leaving you and Tony to look at each other with exasperation.

“Can someone please explain what the hell just happened?”

At the sound of his voice, Jim brought you back to reality. You looked at him with a sheepish frown before choosing to stare at the ground. You muttered something under your breath that he didn’t understand, making him cross his arms and stare harshly at you.

“I’m sorry, and you are?” Tony asked, walking across the room to talk to him.

“Jim Hopper. I’m Y/N’s Uncle.”

“And how exactly did you get this number, Jim?” Tony was eyeing the man with reasonable suspicion and doubt. Which he had every right to. The line Jim had called was one of the most secure on the planet.

“Y/N’s mother gave it to me. She said if anything ever happened, to call here.”

Tony pursed his lips and glanced back at you for confirmation. At your nod, he looked back at the other man on the screen. “Well, as you can tell from the looks of it, her powers are all sorts of out of control. We don’t know why or how. But her connection to the Dimension has been altered.”

Jim frowned. “What’s that mean? Is she in danger?”

Tony shook his head. “Honestly, I’m not sure. All I know right now is that it hurts her to use her powers. We’ve tried a few different things. I’m running some tests right now to see what I can do to help. But she’s officially grounded.”

“Tony, you can’t do that!” you exclaimed, your voice coming out raspy and harsh as you looked at him. Your black eyes pleaded with him to change his mind. But he wasn’t having any of it.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He turned back to Jim. “So I’m assuming since you called, something happened.”

Jim looked at Tony with as much suspicion as the billionaire held for him. “Maybe.”

You rolled your eyes. “For the love of god. Hop, just tell him what happened. Since I obviously can’t make it there right this moment, he’s as good as you’re gonna get.”

Hopper sighed. “Fine. There was a group of scientists in Hawkins that decided to rip a hole through the fabric of space. El called it a Gate, I think.”

“Wait, who’s El?”

“The girl with the powers.”

Tony frowned but listened eagerly. “Powers? What kind of powers?”

Jim shrugged. “Telekinesis, I think. Throwing things with her mind. She was in the lab.”

The wheels in your head were obviously turning. “Did she have her powers before she was there? Or were they given to her?”

“Does it really matter?” Jim asked.

“Of course it does!” you snapped. “If the powers were given to her, then there has to be some sort of connection.”

He paused. “Like you have with the Dimension?”

“Exactly.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Okay, fair enough. I don’t know a whole lot right now, but I can do some more digging. Oh, and the scientist’s name was Brenner.”

Your blood ran cold. Martin Brenner. The hair on the back of your neck stood up just thinking about his name. Smoke swirled around your fingers as you stood there. Your whole body shook with a tremor of fear.

“I know him,” you whispered.

Jim raised an eyebrow and Tony turned to you in concern. “How?”

“He was the one that gave me the necklace…” You looked between the two men. “Hop, does El have a tattoo on her wrist?”

He frowned. “Yeah. The number 11.”

Fear coursed through your veins and you covered your mouth with your hand. “No, not again…” you said.

“Y/N?” Tony asked, setting a hand on your shoulder in concern. Your eyes darted to him and the room shook as you clenched your fists. You raised your arm, pulling back the sleeve of your shirt and showing him the number that was permanently tattooed on your skin.

001.

You looked at Tony with a serious expression. “Everything you hear does not leave this room. Do you understand?”

He clamped his mouth shut and nodded.

“Same goes for you, Hop.”

He looked a bit hurt. “You know you can trust me, kid.”

You took a deep breath and rolled your sleeve back down. “I was thirteen when my mom left. Fifteen when my dad died. I lived in Hawkins at the time, with my dad’s parents.”

Jim frowned as he listened. “Wait…when you went missing…”

You nodded. “I didn’t get the pieces all put together until I was already living in New York.” you said. “My memory of those eight weeks was completely gone. I remember playing on the swings with a friend of mine, Janet, and then…nothing.”

Tony crossed his arms and took a seat beside the monitor. He knew you had a troubled past, but it wasn’t something you talked about often, if ever.

“You were with Brenner?” Jim asked, his voice dangerously low. You bit your lip and nodded slowly, glancing down when you felt your flesh knitting itself back together.

“Yeah. At least, I think I was. That would explain a lot.” A ragged sigh left your lips and you found your own seat. “So this thing has a connection to the Dimension, right?” You held up the black stone of your necklace for the two men to see. They nodded in unison. “When I showed back up, in the middle of the street no less, I had this necklace.”

“That’s what you use to travel back and forth, right?” Jim asked. He had been the one to help you figure out what was going on with all the sudden changes you were going through, including your healing factor and your connection.

“Yeah. But the longer I spent in or around the Dimension, the less I needed the necklace. It got stolen once, and I was without it for about three months. That didn’t end so well for the person that stole it. But anyways, the necklace is what created the physical connection. But I have a mental connection too.”

Tony pursed his lips. “So your powers aren’t a singular part of you?”

You shook your head. “No. I draw energy from the Dimension. And there’s been times where I think it draws energy from me too. But all the necklace does is help me focus the energy. The connection has gotten powerful enough that I don’t need the stone to reach it. But I do need it to focus.”

“So whatever has been going on with your powers, that’s not your fault?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I think there’s a few contributing factors, but I think a lot of it has to do with the Dimension itself.”

“Okay, but that doesn’t explain what you were doing with Brenner.” Jim pointed out.

“He’s got a point.” Tony conceded, looking at you expectantly.

“When I was still in Hawkins, I felt this…this pull to the lab. I got flashbacks every now and again. I didn’t realize they were flashbacks at the time, I just thought they were night terrors. But I started remembering things when I got older. Things that scared the crap out of me. So when I was sixteen, I left for good.” Your eyes lost focus as you thought about your past, something you hadn’t done for a long time. It was a terrifying thing to remember, and the more you told them about it, the more Tony couldn’t blame you for wanting to forget.

“There was always this feeling looming in the back of my mind. There still is. It’s almost…it’s like its calling to me. It got a lot stronger a few weeks ago, but it’s tapered off.”

Jim rubbed his chin. “This Dimension of yours…the one you have the connection with…what does it look like?”

You paused at the question. You hadn’t ever really had to describe it before. And you weren’t even sure how to. It was familiar and strange at the same time. Like you belonged there but were also out of place. “It’s…it’s like a mirror…” you started, trying to figure out best how to describe it. “Places, landmarks, all of it. But it’s…toxic. At least, I think it is. I don’t know what it would be like for someone who isn’t supposed to be there.”

Jim paused, scrambling for something. “Hold on,” he said. You waited patiently for him to reappear. All the while Tony was looking at you with wide eyes, and an expression you would almost call pity. And you knew it was coming eventually. That was why you never talked about your past.

“Like this?” he asked, turning the phone around to show you. You got up off your stool and approached the screen. When you saw it you almost scrambled backwards.

“Yes.”

Tony looked between you and the screen. The photo looked exactly like the world you were living in. But it was…darker. There was no light. There were no plants, no animals. Everything was covered in long, black tendrils. There was something in the air, something that he couldn’t identify. But whatever it was, it looked harmful. Shadows surrounded everything in the scene. It was almost like they were a lifeform in themselves.

“What is that place?” he asked.

“The Dimension,” you breathed.

Jim scrubbed a hand down his face. “This is bad. This is really, really bad.”

“Where did you get that, Hop?” you asked.

He looked at you. “I was there.”

You recoiled as if he had burned you. “You...what?”

“I was there.”

You shook your head, beginning to pace. “No, that’s not possible. How did you get there? Why aren’t you dead?”

“The Gate. That’s how I got there. And I’m not the only one who was there. El was. And this kid named Will. The party calls it the Upside Down.”

“The what?” you asked.

He waved his hand. “A Dungeons and Dragons thing, I think. There’s four kids that discovered it. Well, they helped. Will was trapped there with this monster. El was the one that showed us how to get there. And she killed whatever it was that held him.”

You paled considerably, taking in this new information. “There’s other life forms there?” you wondered aloud. During the time you had spent in the Dimension (or the Upside Down, whatever it was called), you had never seen another living being.

“Oh yeah. That thing was terrifying. They called it the Demogorgan.”

You shook your head. “This isn’t possible.”

“Trust me, it is. But there’s something else. Something other than the Demogorgan.”

A chill ran down your spine at the thought. “What?”

“I don’t know what it is. But I think you need to come down here. I need all the help I can get to fight this thing.”

You gave him a small glare. “If you hadn’t noticed, Hop, I can’t exactly teleport anymore.”

“You may not be able to teleport, but I’ll be damned if I don’t get you to Hawkins, Onyx.”

“Onyx?”

Your gaze swiveled back to Jim. “Yeah. That’s what they call me. You know, cause of the whole dark energy thing.” Your attention turned back to Tony. “And how exactly do you plan on getting me to Hawkins?”

He shrugged. “I’ll figure it out. If I have to, I’ll drive you there myself.”

 “You’ve got to be kidding.” Bucky said, crossing his arms and glaring at Tony.

Tony looked just as serious as Bucky did. “No, I’m not.”

Bucky shook his head. “Nope. Not happening. No way.”

Tony was about ready to throw his hands up. “Come on, Barnes. I need this favor. I’ll owe you big time.”

The soldier rounded on Tony, a snarl etched onto his face. “You already owe me big time, Tony. And how many times do I have to say it? No!”

“James!” Tony snapped, fed up with the childish games he was playing. “If I have to get Steve to make it an order, you know I will.”

Bucky paused and looked at him with disbelief. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I would. And you know it.”

He mumbled something under his breath. “And please, pre tell, why am I the one that has to do this?”

Tony grinned. “Well, for one it’s a good team building exercise,”

“Wha- team building exercise my as-”

“And for another, you’re the only one we don’t need on the current mission. With you still being susceptible to Hydra mind control and all that.”

Bucky glared. “Another Hydra base?”

“Obviously. But seriously, Barnes. We can’t have you on this mission. It’s too dangerous. But Y/N needs to get to Hawkins. And there’s no way I’m sending her on her own. I need someone I can trust out there with her. God knows the kind of horrors she’s gonna have to go through again.”

That gave Bucky pause. “Again? What do you mean, again?”

Tony shook his head. “That’s not my story to tell. You’ll have to ask her about that.”

Bucky let out a reluctant sigh. “Fine. When do we leave?”

  “Oh, HELL no!” you shouted, backing away from the two men. Bucky stood with his arms crossed and a shoulder leaned against the doorframe. He looked just as unhappy about the situation as you did. But there appeared to be no changing Tony’s mind about the situation. “There has to be someone else!”

Tony shook his head. “It’s already decided, Y/N. Don’t argue with me.” And before you could open your mouth to protest, he looked back at Barnes. “You leave tomorrow morning. And I expect the two of you to come out of this as more cooperative teammates. Do I make myself clear?”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re not the one in charge here, Tony.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Do I need to involve Steve?”

Your lips pursed in distaste. You always hated taking orders. It wasn’t something you were good at. But it was something that was drilled into you. “No,” you muttered eventually.

“Good. Now. Pack what you need and get some rest. You’ve got a long road ahead of you.”

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[lucarioisinthevoid]

swap personalities au. Jeremy is to be feared and puppet is an uwu. mike is soft no cuss man. Henry has a lorge soul and feels all emotions v much. thats all i got lol

Okay, this escalated into half an AU, so I’ll put a read more, because this really is long as hell. Tldr though, Jeremy is a horrible sadistic cunt using religion to justify his hatred for others and his bad treatment of them, Mike is constantly unsure of himself and tries to be nice but is fairly miserable, Phoney is the happiest guy on earth who LOVES life, Dave is a sociopath, but a well-adjusted, serious one, Marion is an innocent being constantly crying in his little box- And Henry has done a lot of mistakes in his life and is now stuck in his suit, his fear of life turned into nothing but mourning, while being tortured by one of his victims for all eternity. Frankly though, I’m still trying to figure out if their goals and moral stances would still stay the same if their personality switched, HMMMM- I’m having fun with this, this might become an actual AU. I just wrote out a segment as a writing exercise, heh. -

Fredbear’s was Jeremy’s favorite place. It wasn’t as much the attractions there, as it were the employees he worked with. Though, then again, there was one attraction he was REALLY fond of. Comfortable he sat on the music box, the melody being accompanied by loud and agonized sobs. They wouldn’t let him sleep. The box’s mechanism needed electricity to work, using the crank charged it all up, causing the soul inside immense pain. It was his favorite attraction, because the sound always reminded him of his father, back in his childhood. It was familiar. Nice. Comforting. “It’s not because I hate you.” He causally told the box, drawing another muffled howl from within it. “It is more because I’m bored. I want to listen to music. It is not my fault you are in there, you see? Not my fault at all.” Slowly he winded it up one more time, smiling to himself as he heard footsteps approaching. Not the Phone Guy, no. He was too prone to mind his own business. There was only one person who could step up like this. Hesitant, despite already being here. “What is it.” Jeremy finally asked, cold and snappy, suppressing another smile at the wince coming from the other employee. “I- I think you might- well- if you could- you know- I-“ “Hurry the fuck up. I don’t have all day.” Sharply Mike sucked in the air through his teeth, close to tears, but trying to force a smile. “H-hey, maybe you should- not- wind the box?” “Oh? Why?” “B-because the crying, it’s- I-“ He took a shaky breath. “Idon’tlikeit-“ “You don’t?” Pretending to be surprised, Jeremy put his hand in front of his mouth, “I’m SO sorry! You see, crying is actually quite the nice sound. It is the sound of being needed! But of course, a cruel man as you yourself would not understand how wonderful it is to bring comfort to other beings. And it is not like anyone is getting hurt. You are not trying to say the machines have REAL feelings right? Don’t be stupid.” “N-no, not-“ “See? Nothing wrong with that.” “But-“ “What is it with you? Why are you still trying to bother me about this? Are you having an episode again? Are you going to try to hurt me? I know there is a small part within you that just wants to HURT people. You disgust me.” Mike opened his mouth, but was incapable of saying anything. “Yes, that “demon”, that sometimes causes you to black out and wake up surrounded by nothing but agony. You are delusional with your talk about it being Fredbear. Maybe you should just accept that you are horrible and a danger to be around. Maybe you should just leave. Never come back. This world is better off without dangerous sinners like you.” Finally it was enough for Mike and he turned on the spot running off. Jeremy watched after him, disinterested. He wouldn’t do anything more exciting than that. Too much of a coward to take the last step. Though then again, he would tattle on him. Groaning the boy stepped off the box, looking back at it. The sobs have quieted down. The foolish soul inside still trying to keep ahold of its optimism really intrigued Jeremy. Sure, he did god’s work, trying to convince the soul to leave by any means possible- after all, nobody was allowed to hide from the fires of hell- but it was so utterly stubborn. Despite nothing being left, no inkling of a motivation, he stuck around. God must really hate him. Everyone in this restaurant really. But before he could think about it any further, from behind there was a small cough. He turned around, facing the owner of the location. It always took a second for Jeremy to remember it weren’t the man’s glasses that shined, but the eyes behind it. The Purple Guy looked down at him expressionless. “Did you harass Mike again.” It wasn’t even a question, he knew the answer. “No.” Fully confident he said. “But I would not expect a sociopath to understand the difference between harassment and a normal talk.” “… sociopathy is not depriving me of being able to understand and listen to my employees, Mr. Fitzgerald. Nor does it take my morals. I can still recognize your behavior as abhorrent. Why did I even hire you?” “Because you’re into small boys?” He grinned widely, then shrugged as though he hadn’t just leveled an abhorrent accusation at him. “Because I’m the only one willing to deal with Henry?” “… how about you do what you do what you were hired for then. Mr. Fitzgerald.” “Sure, sure. Oh, but maybe you should shortly check behind you, slightly to the right, where Phoney is putting a stack of party hats on fire and trying to put them onto his head?” He started laughing as William quickly turned and rushed off to save the wild Phone-headed man from probably damage, potential death. No way in hell that Jerry would tell him he was the one constantly smuggling in the lighters, since the grumpy guy at the price corner refused to do so. Instead he sneaked into the saferoom of the location, though he probably didn’t have to. Inside there only really was one thing. An old, slowly rotting golden suit. But that never fooled Jeremy. He might was surrounded by idiots, but so far the brain rot hadn’t hit him. “Well, Henry, how are we doing today?” The suit didn’t react. “Aw. Another day of no attention? What is it? Cannot even give me the littlest bit of appreciation for keeping you from breaking into pieces and making your existence even more painful?” Nothing came back. “… well then again, you probably think you deserve it. Which you absolutely do. Not even hell wants you. Nobody wants a child murder.” The suit’s clawed paw twitched, making Jeremy giggle in delight. “That NEVER fails. Fantastic. But is that all I am getting?” He proceeded to grab a bucket from the side, filling it with warm water and soap. “It’s really pathetic. You made that suit as your protection. Your shield from the world you cared too much about. You used the suit to play the big man, to tell people off, Fredbear was a rude bastard and it was the only way you could protect anything you loved. And now? The least you could do would be to go out there and bite all of these heathen’s heads off. But you won’t. Because Fredbear was just a suit and you’re just a coward.” Bemused he started to sprinkle water on the unresponsive suit. Washing, oiling, keeping it in check. “Too bad. I guess I have to wait until the locust descend to feast on their flesh during the end of days.” There was still nothing. Finally Jeremy quieted down, uncomfortable. Just wash it and get done with it. “… bad people deserve bad things. And bad things happen to bad people.” He quietly mumbled. “I’m not wrong with this. I’m not even that bad towards them. They would fucking kill me or worse if that would profit them. They are heathens without any sort of moral compass pretending to be all harmless and nice.” He hadn’t noticed Fredbear’s head slowly moving to the side to be able to look at him in his position. The chuckle made him snap up however. “… projecting… won’t protect you… from your shame…” “You- YOU-“ The boy squeezed the rag, soapy liquid running down his arm. Then he laughed, abruptly and harshly. “Oh NOW you are talking. To accuse me of NONSENSE. Meanwhile your friend William is broken up about your passing and you just sit here- like you COULDN’T if you WANTED. Shows how much you care. Just move on to the afterlife and take your punishment.” Once more there was nothing. Jeremy gritted his teeth, trying to control his temper. “You will NOT make me act in wrath. You will NOT drag me down. You will burn on your own, you creature lower than DIRT.” Outside Mike had finally calmed down, staying around Simon for a bit really had lifted his spirits again. There was just something about his unbridled joy about being alive that nobody could escape. But there was something he had to do. The customers had cleared out, so he could allow himself to sit down next to the box, without feeling bad about putting more pressure onto the other dayshift workers. “… h-hey. Can you… can you hear me? I’m- hey, how about- I might could take you out of there if you- if you would like to-“ The crying had subsided, but the lid stayed firmly on. “Nobody would mind! I think. I mean, I’m sure. Yes. Please, you… don’t have to be alone in there.” A weak voice sounded, muffled. “… no thank you.” “Ah- s-sorry. I just- I hate what is happening to you. I- I wish I could do something. I’m so sorry.” “… it’s not your fault.” “It sure feels like it though.” Gently Mike sighed. “Hey… I could… tell you a story maybe? I really want you to feel better…” There was hesitation from inside. “… can I tell you a story instead?” “Is- is it a nice one…?” “… no.” There was a short break. “But I hope you will listen to it anyways…” “O-okay. No problem. Not- not at all!” He quieted down to listen. From the distance, Old Sport leaned against the wall, watching on. Phone Guy attempted to sneak up, but was quickly frozen in place by a glare. It softened up however and he waved him over. “Phoney. Still alive?” “Alive and well and wouldn’t want it any different!” Happily the man agreed. “What about you?” “Eh. Neither truly happy nor truly alive, but still optimistic.” “What’cha looking at?” “… Mike. Kinda worry for him. He seems so unsure about everything.” “Oh, I’m sure he’s just nervous about this new job. We’ll get him out of that shell, and if we have to drag him!” “That… sounded like a threat.” “Oh. Oh no! I didn’t mean that!” Quietly Old Sport chuckled and patted his pal on the head. “I know. Just wanted to give you a heads up. I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble.” “Trouble? I don’t want any trouble, that’s true! But a lot of so called “trouble” is just an adventure waiting to happen!” “… sometimes. Not in this case though.” “Awww, that’s too bad.” Both of them looked onto the tormented smile on Mike’s face in the distance. Again Old Sport sighed and looked at Phone Guy. “Do me a favor and look after him, alright? I worry for him.” “Everything will work out. I promise! I’m the manager, it’s my job to take care of everyone! Even Jeremy. Especially Jeremy. Poor boy has some issues too. But nothing that can’t be fixed with patience and love!” “I take your word for it.”

[missing-marvel]

The Shape of You (Pt. 1)

Pairing: Vision/Reader

Tags: Slow burn, multi-chapter, self-indulgent Shape of Water AU ???

Part 2

A/N: Guess who’s back? I bet you thought I was dead. Well surprise, I’ve got ANOTHER Vision fit for ya cause Endgame did my boy dirty. As you may have noticed, this is an AU. It’s set after AoU but kinda diverges from Civil War... You’ll get it as you read. And yeah, I pretty well am taking the whole premise of The Shape of Water (cause it’s a gorgeous movie if you haven’t seen it!) but you don’t have to know literally anything about that movie.

Also! This is gonna be a long chapter cause there’s a lot of stage to set so buckle in kids.

-------

A harsh beep sounded from the terminal as you clocked in for the day. It was like your second alarm clock. One in the morning to get you out of bed, a second one when you got to work to get you out of your head. No amount of coffee would make you properly awake this early, but you were getting used to it. A government job expected you to work on a strict schedule, even if you were just a custodian.

You’d been working here for a couple months now. Supposedly this place had some pretty secret government projects going on, but you hadn’t seen anything interesting just yet. It must be true though, considering how much screening you went through when you applied for the job. Not to mention the amount of forms you had to sign. No employer went to that much trouble unless they had something to hide.

You didn’t expect today, however, would be the day things finally got interesting.

You made your way to one of the many maintenance rooms to grab your gear. Before you got there, however, you ran into your boss, Ronnie.

He was a skittish man, always nervous about something or other. He was also incredibly annoying. He’d do anything to get attention from the higher-ups. He was always gunning for a promotion, though he had been in this position far longer than you’d worked here. Most of what you knew about him came from break room gossip.  

“Different assignment for you today. It’s a big one. You cannot mess this up.” Ronnie shuffled the folders and loose papers in his hands. He was always carrying papers it seemed. You had no idea what any of them were for. You were half convinced it was just his way of looking ‘professional.’

“Yes sir,” you droned, already tired of Ronnie’s crap. He was your superior though, and you couldn’t risk being snappy with him. “What will I be doing?”

“Report to Lab 205. You and a handful of others will be the only custodial staff allowed in there for the foreseeable future. There’s a very special asset about to be moved here and it’s extremely important that we don’t screw this up.”

Lab 205 was on the second basement level. You’d only been down there a handful of times and you certainly weren’t familiar with it.

“All due respect sir, but am I the best choice for something like that? I’ve only been here a couple months and—“ Before you could finish your thought, Ronnie cut you off.

“Ah ah ah!” There he went again, making that God-awful sound. There wasn’t anything more condescending than the sound Ronnie made when interrupting people. “I don’t choose the people for the job, I just give them the news. Just report there in 5 minutes and someone there will tell you what to do. I’m sure if you can’t handle this, they’ll find someone more suitable for the job.”

And with that, he simply walked away. What an ass. One day he was gonna get smacked in the face. You didn’t let it get to you, however, as he did this with just about everyone on the custodial staff.

You made your way quickly to the elevator, silently hoping you remembered the way to the lab.

___

You made it with no time to spare. Turns out, you didn’t remember the way to the lab. You had just spent the last 4 and a half minutes frantically combing the floor for the right room. Why did this place have to be so damn big?

Several faces turned toward you when you burst into the room, sweaty and out-of-breath as you had been running. There were four other people in the room wearing custodial uniforms, all giving you looks of disapproval. Their attention was brought back to the front of the room fortunately, when a sharply dressed woman cleared her throat loudly.

‘Oh great, another Ronnie,’ you thought. You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes and stood at attention as she spoke.

“As I’m sure you’ve been told, the five of you are going to be the sole custodians responsible for the care of this lab for the foreseeable future.”

It was only now that you fully noticed the size of the lab. The ceiling was higher than every other room in the building (that you’d been in) and the whole space was filled with so many computers and monitoring stations that there was hardly any walking room left. At the back of the room was a glass wall of some kind, separating you from the back wall. Behind the glass was mostly empty space aside from some complex-looking machinery.

“The new asset is being brought in tomorrow. That means you have today to get this place spotless. This is easily the most important thing ever to be housed in this facility so I expect all of you to maintain complete secrecy. Anything you see in this room from now on is completely confidential. As I’m sure you all understand, any divulgence of confidential information will result in immediate termination and legal action will be taken.”

You exchanged a few nervous glances with your coworkers but said nothing. You had no idea what you were getting into.

The woman’s expression suddenly turned chipper and she clapped her hands together cheerfully. “Well! I expect nothing short of perfection from you all. Now get to work!” With that, she turned and exited the lab.

___

It had been a long, grueling day. Cleaning that lab had proven far more work than you expected. Every time you thought you were done with an area, a supervisor would tell you to do it again, better this time.

But now you were home, stretched out on the sofa to relax your aching muscles. You lived in a small apartment uptown. You tried to avoid the word ‘dingy,’ opting instead for ‘modest.’ Sure the place was small, there was a spider problem, the temperature was always slightly off, and plenty more problems you’d gotten used to but it was yours. There was nothing better than going home to a space to call your own at the end of the day, even if it was dingy.

You worked long shifts, leaving little time for activities in the evenings. On the plus side, you got long weekends. This meant your nightly routine consisted mainly of eating, showering, watching TV for a little while, and going to sleep. Today was no different.

However, as you lay in bed, you found your mind wandering. You thought about this ‘asset’ being brought into the lab. You had endless theories about what it could be. You were secretly hoping it was a live alien. How cool would that be? A stream of ideas fit for a sci-fi novel ran through your head until you inevitably fell asleep.

_____

So it wasn’t an alien. At least, you didn’t think it was.

You and the other four custodians had been permitted to be in the lab when the asset was brought in, much to your surprise. Presumably, they thought that if you got to see the ‘asset’ right away, you’d be less likely to snoop later. The five of you stood in the corner, enthralled by the scene in front of you.

A couple men in military uniforms had wheeled in some kind of container, large enough to hold a person. Through the glass on the front, you almost thought the thing inside was a person. But when you got a better look, you could tell it was something inhuman.

The figure inside had their eyes shut. At first glance, their face appeared human, until you noticed that their ‘skin’ was a deep red and green with clearly artificial design. With all the commotion, you unfortunately couldn’t see much more than that.

A man in a lab coat was fussing over every little thing. He would snap at the men pushing the container, saying things like ‘this is worth more than you’ll make in your lifetime’ and ‘if I find one scratch on that machine you’re both fired.’

While the man was utterly exasperating to listen to, his complaining informed you that the figure was in fact, a machine.

“It’s... an android?” You mumbled under your breath and your coworker next to you looked over.

“What’s so special about an android?” she asked, keeping her voice low so as not to get in trouble. “Hasn’t the government been building robots for years?”

Thinking about it, you realized she was right. The government had already created some fairly advanced robotics that were far from secret.

“There must be something special about this one,” you said. “Something worth studying. Maybe it’s foreign?”

Suddenly another coworker that had been listening in gasped. “Oh my God you guys,” he said, his voice trailing off.

“What? What is it?” You were surprised by his outburst and too impatient to deal with it.

“What if... what if that’s the Avengers’ android? The one that got destroyed right before they disappeared.”

If that was the case, it certainly hadn’t been destroyed. When Ultron was threatening humanity, news that the Avengers had built another android to fight him was a bit upsetting to most people, the government in particular. Luckily, it worked out. The news hadn’t given a lot of details but the planet was still intact so they obviously did something right.

The government disagreed, however. They thought the Avengers needed more accountability. They tried writing up laws of sorts to control them, but it didn’t go so well. When the Avengers had tried to fight the laws, they were forced to go into hiding. At one point, a government assault team had been sent to stop them. They failed of course, though there were no casualties. Unless you counted a destroyed android. Like, completely destroyed. The news footage had shown a massive explosion. The government even released an official statement saying the android could not be recovered and the rest of the Avengers escaped. Looks like the conspiracy theorists were right about this one.

While no one in the general public knew much about the android, there was still footage of it from Sokovia. At the time, you’d been impressed. Leave it to Tony Stark and Dr. Banner to build something that advanced.

If it was here now, that meant the government wanted to study it. Stark wasn’t known to like sharing his most advanced tech, and this clearly had been no exception.

You let this new information settle in as you continued watching the scene unfold.

_____

The excitement settled down pretty quickly.  The guy in the lab coat, who you’d learned was called Dr. Newmann, rushed from computer to computer, looking over the shoulders of the lab assistants and criticizing anything and everything. You quickly learned to tune him out. You didn’t bother his work, and he didn’t bother you.

Right now you were supposed to be checking the printers for paper and ink. They were brand new, brought in this morning specifically for this lab.

However you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander to the back of the room. The android was no longer in the container it had been transported in. It was now behind the glass wall, lying on some kind of  table and connected to countless computers and machines.

When Dr. Newmann wasn’t yelling at lab assistants, he was in there, fussing over the android like it was his damn child. You could hear him drone on about the discoveries they were going to make into Stark technology. You had a sudden image of what the government could do with that sort of power, but shoved it to the back of your mind before you could dwell on it.

What you really wanted was to get a better look at the android. The other custodians’ interest had diminished rather quickly but you couldn’t help but continue to be curious. Unfortunately, you wouldn’t be able to get anywhere near that glass with Dr. Fussy over there, not even for a quick look.

Your watch beeped suddenly, signaling the time for your lunch break. That was all the distraction you needed to forget everything you were doing and leave.

______

You’d finished your lunch a little early today and decided to get back to work right away. Perhaps if you got everything done early you could go home sooner.

You were surprised to find the lab empty when you got back. All the lab assistants as well as Dr. Newmann were absent. They must all be on their lunch breaks.

The android was still in the same place, unsurprisingly. You briefly thought about going over to sneak a look, but anyone could come in at any second. You didn’t know what kind of trouble you’d be in if you got caught. They seemed to take this thing pretty seriously.

You decided to do the reasonable thing and just get back to work. You started collecting the little trash bins by many of the desks that had already filled with paper. It was amazing how many notes these guys wrote down in just a day.

As you knelt to pick up a crumpled paper that was on the floor, you noticed what looked like a drawing on one of the corners. You carefully unfolded the paper, smoothing it out on your knee. It was a sketch of the android’s face, messy, but recognizable. A bunch of notes and equations surrounded it, practically illegible. One thing stood out to you, which was a question mark with circles around it.  A line connected the mark to a point on the android’s forehead. There was an indent of some kind, though you couldn’t tell if it was deliberate or if something was missing. Your main focus was on the drawing itself though. It was surprisingly detailed. You thought that whoever drew it could’ve had a future in art, maybe in another life.

Well you had managed to do the smart thing for all of thirty seconds. Now your curiosity was getting the better of you. You knew the old slang about curiosity and the cat. You also knew the ending of it.

‘Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.’

Stuffing the paper in your pocket, you carefully approached the glass, cautious of the many wires that snaked across the floor. You couldn’t go inside. The only door in the glass was opened with a full handprint scan. Specifically, Dr. Newmann’s. Not that you wanted to go inside, anyway.

Up close, you were surprised and just how much detail the android had. Aside from the color, its face looked almost scarily human. In fact, it’s whole body seemed organic in shape, for lack of a better term. Though you did recognize the odd indent in its forehead from the sketch. It definitely looked like a part was missing. Overall, it didn’t look like what you expected a robot to look like; all blocky and mechanical like in the movies. It looked like a person.

“What the hell are you doing?!” You hadn’t even realized you were practically leaning on the glass until the furious voice of a lab assistant snapped you back to reality.

“I’m s-sorry! I-I was just looking, I swear! I didn’t touch anything!” You frantically backed away from the glass.

The lab assistant marched over to you, eyeing you over before looking back towards the android. She was silent for several moments as you stood frozen in fear, expecting the worst.

When she seemed satisfied in her examination of the situation, she spoke up, “You’re lucky I wasn’t Dr. Newmann. He would’ve had you out of here faster than you could even blink.”

You let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding. You couldn’t afford to lose this job. You especially couldn’t afford whatever lawsuit against you would ensue if they thought you had damaged anything.

“I’m sorry Ma’am. It won’t happen again.” Your voice still shook as you tried to come down from your panic.

“It better not. I may not be here next time.” Suddenly, her frown picked up into a slight grin and she glanced back and the android before turning to you again. “Although... it is pretty cool huh?”

Was she... messing with you? Was this a test?

“Y-yeah. Hey, if I can ask, that is the Avengers’ android, isn’t it?” You had to ask. If anyone was going to tell you, it was the lab assistant that just saved your job.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Her smile disappeared as quickly as it had come and she turned back towards one of the computers, but if you didn’t know any better, you’d swear she’d winked at you.

There wasn’t time to question it, however, as Dr. Newmann and the others walked into the room. You returned to the trash cans as quickly and nonchalantly as possible, still wrapping your mind about what had just happened.

____

The next several days were uneventful. You kept to your duties, careful to avoid another close call. Today, however, you’d been told you’d have to stay late with two of the other custodians. Apparently, the security guard had been in an accident and you were the only last minute options. Technically, you were all trained in very basic security skills. It was mandatory for the job, partly because a lot of custodians had to stay late when almost everyone else has gone home. You guessed it was cheaper to train people the extra skills rather than hire a whole ton of security guards.

In preparation, you were drinking coffee during your afternoon break. Only the sweet embrace of caffeine was going to get you through this night. On the plus side, you were getting a ton of overtime.

It was that time of day where a large portion of the people here were starting to go home. You watched as one-by-one, the lab slowly emptied, leaving you alone with the two other custodians you’d spoken to on the day the android had been brought in.

As the night drew on, you took turns doing various tasks around the lab to keep busy. At any given time, however, somebody had to be in the actual lab itself. Right now, that was you. One of your coworkers was out walking the halls and the other had snuck outside for a cigarette. You were alone.

There were only a few lights on in the lab; just a couple of the ceiling lights as well as the main light that lit up the space behind the glass wall. It was like a spotlight shining down on the android.

It had been days now and you had no idea what they’d learned from this thing. It was still shut down. You weren’t sure if it was powered off or just straight up broken.

You turned your back on the android, slowly pacing back to the other side of the room. You barely made it a halfway, however, before a loud crash behind you nearly made you jump out of your skin.

You spun around reflexively, looking for any sort of intruder. What you saw instead was far more surprising.

The android was awake. It was also on the floor. It seemed to have fallen off the table. It sat upright, one arm braced against the side of the table. It was looking around as if dazed and you briefly made eye contact. The first thing you noticed was the striking artificial blue of its eyes, unlike anything you’d ever seen before. The thought was fleeting, however.

In a moment of pure panic, you dove behind a desk, pretending like the android hadn’t seen you when it most definitely had. You heard more clattering come from behind the glass. You peeked over the edge of the desk and watched as the Android seemed to struggle to stand. Now that it was on its feet, you noticed something you’d hadn’t seen before.

The android was damaged. There were gashes in its artificial skin of varying severity. It placed a hand gently on a particularly nasty looking cut on its arm and for a moment, you felt a pang of sorrow for the thing. Could it feel pain?

That was when you decided this thing probably wasn’t a threat to you. You weren’t sure what told you that exactly, but you weren’t afraid. You were intrigued, in fact. You were the first person to see the android awake.

You slowly stood up from behind the desk, once more approaching the glass.

The android tried to say something, but you couldn’t hear it. At first you thought it was because of the glass, but the android’s reaction said otherwise. It’d only appeared to say a couple words before it stopped. A confused expression crossed its face and it turned away, raising a hand to its throat tentatively. It began to speak again, but once more was silent. You couldn’t identify the look in its eyes when it turned back to you.

“Can you hear me?” You spoke up only a little, not knowing how soundproof the glass was, but also not wanting your coworker in the hallway to hear.

The android merely looked at you a moment and you assumed it hadn’t heard you. Before you could speak again, however, it nodded.

A small part of you felt overjoyed. You weren’t sure why, but the fact that you could communicate was strangely exciting. Maybe it was the fact that you, not a lab assistant or that ridiculous doctor, but you got to be there when the android woke up.

“Can you speak?” Your mind was suddenly racing and you had to restrain yourself from just spouting out endless questions.

The android frowned before shaking its head. It gestured towards its throat and you understood.

“You’re damaged...” You weren’t asking so much as simply repeating what it had been trying to say. The android nodded solemnly. You wondered how much more damage it had sustained that wasn’t visible.

“Does that-“ you gestured to your arm, mirroring the spot on the android that appeared damaged. “Does it hurt? Can you feel it?”

The android’s expression suggested that the answer wasn’t as simple as a ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ It started gesturing something with its hands and it took you a moment to realize it was miming writing.

“Oh! Are you asking for something to write with?” The android nodded excitedly. You almost turned to look for paper before stopping, your shoulders slumping in disappointment.

“I’m sorry. I can’t get you paper ‘cause I can’t open that door.” You pointed toward the glass door and the android followed your gaze. “Only Dr. Newmann can, and he’d never let anyone else in.”

The android approached the glass calmly and you found yourself backing up subconsciously. It raised a hand to the glass and much to your shock, it phased right through. It stopped abruptly after its hand was through the glass just past the wrist. It appeared that the damage on its arm was stopping it. The android pulled its arm back in frustration before looking back to you. It waved its hand in a way that told you to step back. You did so without question.

You only realized what was happening when the android pulled back a fist and struck the glass with a wicked punch. You reflexively flinched away at the contact but the glass didn’t move. It barely even made a sound. There was no sign of damage.

The android’s eyes were wide in shock and it struck again, the glass still not budging. A small part of you was glad, not wanting to be held responsible for a possible robot rampage. But the look on the android’s face when it realized it was trapped filled you with guilt. Despite its inhuman appearance, this time you recognized the expression as fear.

As the android took a step back, you came up with an idea. You grabbed a pen and paper off the nearest desk and approached the glass again, earning a quizzical look from the android. You took a seat on the floor, gesturing for the android to do the same.

It was still for a moment, as if deciding whether or not to trust you. It must’ve decided you weren’t a threat because it mimicked your actions, taking a seat in front of you.

You froze for a moment, realizing this was the closest you’d gotten to the android. The only other person that had been this close was Dr. Newmann. You wondered what the man would think if he saw you right now. You silently gave thanks there were no cameras in here. They had worried about them being hacked and causing a security breach.

Your attention back to the matter at hand, you clicked the pen and set both it and the paper on the floor as close to the glass as possible.

“If you can at least reach your hand through the glass, you can write on here to talk. It’s not the fanciest method of communication but it should work.”

The android reached for the pen, slowly this time, so as not to worsen its damaged arm. To your surprise, it simply wrote, “Thank you,” on the paper in immaculate handwriting. Oddly, it wrote the words upside down, not needing to turn to the paper for you to read.

You didn’t have time to respond, however, as it continued writing.

“Where am I?” It asked.

“A government facility,” you said, noting the immediate look of alarm on the android. “I don’t know how they found you, but you’ve been here several days. I’m just a custodian, not a scientist. I don’t know much of what goes on around here.”

Rather than responding, the android looked back at the computers and machinery with newfound worry.

“Where did you come from?” You tried to distract it with another question.

It didn’t even need to finish writing before you knew what it was saying. “The Avengers.”

You muttered a soft ‘woah’ under your breath. “We wondered if that was the case. So, did the Avengers give you a name?”

You wanted to ask more about the Avengers, but you doubted you’d get many answers. This android just woke up and found out it’s trapped in a government facility. It wasn’t likely to start spilling secrets any time soon.

The android finished writing, moving its hand to reveal “I am Vision,” written on the paper. You weren’t sure what you’d been expecting, but it wasn’t that. Still, the name seemed fitting. The name reminded you of the android’s eyes. Now that you were close, you noticed not only their vibrant color, but the intricate detail in its eyes.

“That’s an interesting name. Fitting.” The android broke eye contact to write a response. Now that you knew it had a name, it didn’t feel right to keep referring to it as, well, ‘it.’ You realized this wasn’t a simple machine. It may well be as alive as you were. In that case, it seemed appropriate to say ‘he.’

“It was Thor’s idea,” he wrote. You couldn’t help but chuckle. Somehow you found the image of the Norse god of thunder naming this robot to be quite funny. It made you realize just how little you, or anyone else for that matter, really knew about the Avengers.

Suddenly, you heard the door to the lab jiggle and panicked, grabbing the paper and sprinting over to the door.

You grabbed the door as it began to swing open to see your coworkers. Luckily, as long as you held the door open only about halfway, they couldn’t see the android—Vision— behind you.

“Your shift’s up. You can go home for the night. Hey, uh, are you okay? What’s that—?” Your coworker tried to reach for the paper in your free hand but you quickly stuffed it in your pocket, trying to appear inconspicuous and failing.

“Oh just some doodles,” you said, letting out a strained chuckle. “I got bored. Hey you guys wanna give me just a minute? I need to round my stuff up and then I’ll go.” Your coworkers glanced at each other before giving you a look.

“Uh, sure, whatever you say.” You muttered a quick ‘thanks’ in response and closed the door on them without further explanation. You turned back to find Vision standing up now, watching you intently.

“I have to go.” Vision tried to gesture something but you cut him off. “There’s no time. If I’m in here much longer they’ll figure out something’s up. Dr. Newmann and the other researchers will be here in a few hours. I don’t know what they want from you but one thing I do know is that that man is crazy. He’s obsessed with this whole project.” Vision pointed at you in a questioning manner as you picked up your coat.

“I’m really sorry I’m not more helpful. I won’t be back until after the weekend. I don’t know what you’re going to do but just...” You suddenly wondered what you were thinking. Was Vision in danger? It’s not like they could hurt him, right? He’s a machine. But still, you didn’t trust the people here. And a bad feeling in the back of your mind made itself known. You stopped before you reached the door.

“Just be careful.”

---

Part 2

[blkmxrvel]

Haven’t Forgotten My Way Home (12) - [CONVERTED]

Pairing: Kara Zor-El x Female!Reader

Summary: In  the D/s society of National City, men and women abandoned by their   Dom/mes or otherwise deemed unfit for life “outside” end up at the Mount   Overland House for Orphaned Submissives. It is here that Kara Zor-El   finds Y/N Hastings, broken and fearful from mistreatment at the hands of   her former Dom. Can Kara coax Y/N back into the world that once so   terrified her, and show her the true meaning of care and submission?

Warnings: Domestic Violence (Flashbacks, Mentions and Descriptions), Misogyny, Domination/Submission.

The first thing a body will require, when it has been worn to its breaking point and is on its way back, is sleep. It was one of the things that Y/N was only just starting to realize: how tired she really was. So many years of her day starting at exactly 4 a.m. had taken its toll, and so when she glanced at the clock and saw that it was only 8 a.m, she thought “Meh,” and promptly rolled over and went back to sleep.

She’d washed the sheets and they were really soft now, and the pillows under her head were nice, if not as perfect as the ones at Miss Kara’s. So no, there really wasn’t any reason for her to get up. Not just yet. Two hours later she was awakened with a start by the ringtone that told her she had a new text message. She tried to blink the sleep out of her eyes, and read Kara’s 6 words through a bleary haze.

Good luck with physical therapy today. :)

Y/N furrowed her brow and sat up, her drowsiness erased by a small feeling of panic that began to rise up within her. Quickly her fingers dashed off the response and hit send.

You’re not coming?

She waited as long as she could for a response, sitting up in bed and staring at the phone for an hour, before she finally told herself that if she didn’t get moving, she’d be late. But it was another twenty minutes before she could actually force herself out of bed and move to her closet to pick out the day’s outfit.

It was strange, having options to choose from, rather than just a pair of underwear thrown haphazardly over a chair… or over her, depending on what position morning would find her in. Then there were the days when clothes weren’t allowed at all… which was hardest in the winter months. But now she could decide, would it be the blue dress with the cardigan, or the pink sweater and a pair of comfy blue jeans? Since she was going to therapy… she reached in and plucked out the jeans and the sweater.

Y/N was surprised to notice that she was smiling. It seemed stupid to smile over something like choosing your own clothes.

But she smiled anyway.

There seemed to be so many things for her to decide now… breakfast was the simplest. Cereal, she thought, rummaging through Nia’s cabinets to find what she wanted. Nia had already left for the House, Y/N assumed, and it was nice, just to sit on the couch with her legs sprawled out, relaxed against the pillows as she waited for the Lucky Charms sugar rush to take hold. She giggled, for a split second feeling like a fifteen year old again, before... before everything changed.

The walk to the House was short, but not short enough that Y/N felt comfortable actually walking it. Luckily there was a concrete pathway from Nia’s front door to the back door of the House, and Y/N’s chair was already sitting outside, with no steps for her to navigate to it. She sat in the chair but didn’t move at first; instead, Y/N simply just sat.

It was a pleasant morning, not too cold and not yet too hot; the birds were still singing and flying here and there, their wings bright flashes against the mid-morning sky. Y/N found herself wondering about them, if they were bringing food to their children or perhaps to their “husband” or “wife”; she watched them eagerly, taking in their every movement and listening to their casual back and forth song. She wondered what it would be like, to be one of those birds: free to go wherever, whenever, but every time returning to the same place. And not because they had to, but because they wanted to. The birds were bound by choice, not by birth or decree, and for a moment, Y/N envied them.

She thought about Miss Kara, then, resting the cell phone on her lap as she slowly wheeled herself towards the House, taking her time so she wouldn’t miss a minute of everything around her outside: the grass on either side of her; the trees that shaded her with their branches, the apples they dropped as food for the insects, the squirrels, the rabbits. What would it be like, she asked herself, to be free forever? To never have to answer to another person? No rules, no chance to break them. No punishment, no pain.

No Miss Kara.

It caused Y/N to stop where she sat, halfway between “home” and the House.

Maybe she could handle the pain, if it came from Miss Kara.

She began to wheel herself towards the House again, even as her hands trembled so hard she could barely hold on. It wouldn’t be so bad, she thought. Kara had been sweet to her so far, but she hadn’t claimed Y/N. But if she did, and if- if she got angry when Y/N displeased her, Y/N could… she could handle it. What would she do, what rule would she break? Maybe there was a certain way Miss Kara liked her clothes folded. She’d wake up in the morning and there would be a crease in her shirt that wasn’t there before. She’d look at Y/N, disappointment in beautifully deep brown eyes. And Y/N would know she’d failed her.

Then… the pain.

Y/N had gotten fairly good at taking herself beyond the pain; she could do that again with Miss Kara, no matter what the other woman would choose to do to her. Or with what. Whips, belts, they were all the same. Y/N could put herself in that space where everything went fuzzy, where the sounds were muted and the blows seemed to be nothing. Her mother had told her, once, about that space; she’d described it as a kind of Heaven, a feeling of being completely in the moment and yet not, as if the only two people who existed in the world were Dominant and submissive. Where thoughts became tangled as if by rope, and where no words could break through except the ones spoken from trust, from love, from hope.

Y/N had decided about her second year with James that her mother was prone to flights of fancy, or was just outright insane. No, her space… her space was curled inside herself, blocking out words and trying to tighten her skin to provide the least amount of canvas possible. Then she’d be ripped out of that space brutally, in seconds after he’d grown tired of her, with just a few words.

“Get your ass up and fix dinner, I’m hungry.”

She tried to imagine Kara saying those words. Tried to picture the petite brunette with the gentle face twisting into bitterness and hate, as Y/N got up from the floor and hobbled to the kitchen. With a blink Y/N realized that she wasn’t in a kitchen, or on a floor; instead she was in front of the door to the House.

She could do it, she thought as she pressed the code Nia had given to her onto the keypad, and the door released with a click.

For Miss Kara, she could do it.

Her phone vibrated in her lap while she made her way down the hall to the PT room, and Y/N paused to pick it up, smiling at the message. She sent her answer, and then hesitated in front of the door, feeling hopeful. Leaning over and pushing it open, she blinked, then felt the wave of disappointment rush over her like the water from the time Miss Kara had given her a bath.

“Here she is!” Nia said with a grin. She nudged Brainy, who smiled politely at Y/N. “Told you she’d make it.”

“That you did,” Brainy said. He’d gotten everything ready for Y/N, she could see everything laid out as he stood there in his black tee-shirt and jeans, still smiling at her with nothing but calm and pleasantry on his face. “You ready?”

“Red,” Y/N suddenly mumbled, feeling herself begin to panic.

Nia tilted her head at her, her eyes looking concerned. “Y/N?”

“Red,” Y/N said a little louder. “I-I can’t do this, I’m sorry, Nia, I’m sorry, B-Brainy, I have to go, I have to…”

In seconds she was back out the door, wheeling down the hall towards freedom as fast as she could go. She couldn’t do this, not without… she just couldn’t.

“Y/N, wait!”

It didn’t take long, because of her ability to walk and her long strides, for Nia to overtake her and plant herself in Y/N’s path. “Hey, what’s going on, kid?”

Y/N shook her head. “I just don’t want to,” she tried. “I don’t… feel well?”

“Yeah?” Nia said, sounding sympathetic. She squatted down, though she wasn’t kneeling, so that she could look into Y/N’s eyes. “I bet I can guess why all of a sudden you don’t feel well.”

Y/N didn’t say anything; she pursed her lips and looked at the white walls, at the dirty green and white tiles, anywhere but at Nia Nal who was staring at her like she knew her innermost secrets.

“She’s not coming, Y/N.”

“I gathered that,” Y/N bit out, and she sat up, a chill running through her as she realized just how snappy she’d sounded.

What would Miss Kara do if Y/N ever talked to her like that? Probably slap her face, Y/N surmised. Tears rushed to her eyes as she thought of it, but she tightened her hold on the arms of the wheelchair.

She could handle it. For Miss Kara.

Why wasn’t she there?

The sympathetic look hadn’t left Nia’s eyes as she surveyed Y/N in front of her. She was quiet for a moment, and when she spoke, her voice had taken a mournful, almost regretful tone.

“Do you know what was the hardest thing for me to learn?”

Y/N shook her head.

“How to go to the grocery store. Before, when I went, I had a list. Everything she liked, down to the brand and the price and what aisle I would find it. There was nothing on there that I wanted or liked, because she thought I needed nothing but what she gave me.”

“I don’t see what that has to do wi—“

“And so,” Nia interrupted, “The first time I went to the grocery store, I stood there in the doorway, looking at all the aisles, all the food… and I had no idea what I needed. What I wanted. But there was one thing I wanted.”

“What?” Y/N whispered.

“To call her. To call her, to have her tell me what to get, what to do, how to do it. But I couldn’t. I stood there terrified, scared out of my mind that she’d said was feeble without her, and I wanted to believe that I couldn’t do anything without her. But I had to.”

“That’s not the same,” Y/N protested. “This is different.”

Nia shook her head. “It’s not, though. You know she called me, asked me to be here with you.”

“But I don’t want you, I want her.”

“I know that,” Nia laughed in response to Y/N’s horrified expression; there was no trace of hurt or malice in her voice at all. “But you’re standing in the grocery store, Y/N. You’ve got all these choices to make, and ain’t nobody but yourself can choose.”

Nia stood up, ignoring Y/N’s confused look. “I know you don’t like being alone with Brainy and so does Miss Zor-el. That’s why I’m here. But she’s not, and you’re going to be just fine in there without her. You’ll see.”

“I don’t think I can.”

“I know you can. And so does Kara. That’s why she’s not here. Because she knows you can do it without her.”

“But I don’t want to,” Y/N said again, her teeth clenched. Who were Miss Kara and Nia to decide what she could do, and who she should do it with? But then again, to know Miss Kara thought she could do it on her own, that she believed in her so much…

Y/N was nothing short of completely confused.

“Well, yeah, and that’s another choice. Just like you have a choice now. Go in and do your therapy like she believes you can, or we call Miss Kara and tell her you won’t do it unless she’s here.”

Y/N scrunched up her face in disapproval, and let out the answer in an exasperated sigh. “Fine. Let’s go.”

“Welcome back,” Brainy said as Nia wheeled Y/N into the room once again, and she gave him a tight-lipped smile. “Let’s get started, shall we?”

He moved her through her exercises while Y/N concentrated on her breathing, imagining that Miss Kara was next to her head, encouraging her with soft words and a gentle touch on her shoulder. But there were two Miss Karas in her head now, the Kara that was Miss Kara, kind and gentle and… loving. And then there was the other Kara.

Mistress.

Her fingers clenched the edge of the cot as Y/N imagined Mistress, pressing her against the wall and lashing her with anger and resentment on her face. Disappointment. She could hear the voice of Mistress, no longer lyrical and sweet, but harsh and growling as she spoke words that had Y/N’s head hanging even as she lay on the cot.

Bad. Wrong. Stupid. Disgusting. Failure.

She squeezed her eyes shut and recalled that morning in bed, with Miss Kara’s hand held softly, tightly in hers. Warmth. Comfort. Y/N took a shuddering breath and opened her eyes when she realized Brainy had stopped.

“Ready to try walking?”

She hesitated, looking at Nia, who grinned at her. Y/N nodded.

The end of the bars was empty, without Miss Kara standing there waiting for her. There was only Nia, sitting on a stool off to one side, and Brody, on her other side, ready to catch her if she fell. But for a second Y/N felt as if she’d already fallen, because the wall on the other side of her was bare and white, and there was no angel in an argyle sweater waiting with her arms open.

But still the first step came.

It was almost as if an unseen force had moved her foot, and Y/N glanced down at it in surprise. Had she done that? She wondered. Brainy and Nia were grinning at her, Nia’s fist pumping in triumph, and Y/N found herself grinning in return. Their reactions spurred her on; she took another step and it was as if electricity had filled her legs and she couldn’t do anything but move. It was an eternity and mere seconds; there was Kara and emptiness, her hands on the bars and her feet at the edge of the mat…

On the other side.

She barely registered Nia’s yell of triumph, or Brainy clapping his hands for her; all she could think of, all she could do, was go for her phone and send a text.

I did it. I did it.

Five seconds later, the response came.

I knew you could.

Y/N was still riding the high of actually making it through therapy on her own (well, with Nia’s help, a little bit) when she wheeled herself out the back door to the House and was met with a smirking girl leaning up against the brick.

“Hey, little H, heard you did damn good in there.”

Y/N tilted her head. “How’d you… it was only five minutes ago.”

Maggie reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, waggling it at her. “’Y/N went to therapy without Kara! Make sure you say something nice to her about it.’ Kara texts Ma'am, Ma'am texts me… word gets around fast.” She grinned and fell into step alongside her, walking with her towards Nia’s house.

Miss Kara had… bragged on her? That’s what Maggie made it sound like; that she’d texted Alex to tell her how proud she was of her… There was that warm feeling in her chest again, and Y/N blushed and ducked her head, then glanced over at Maggie. “How are you um… feeling?” she asked hesitantly. “You know, since then.” She’d been a little hesitant when Maggie texted her, asking if she could come over, but there was something about her… she’d wanted to check on her, and it might be nice, to have a friend. Still, it felt awkward.

She winced a little, shoving her hands back into the pockets of her jeans and shrugging. “Kind of sore, but it’s just annoying now, not really painful. Ma'am says I don’t need pillows anymore but he lets me sit on ‘em anyway.”

Y/N nodded and fell into silence then as she and Maggie made their way back to Nia’s. When they were almost there, though, she hesitated, causing Maggie to look at her with concern.

“What’s up, little H?”

“Can we stay out here for a little while?” She wasn’t sure she wanted to be alone in a room with Maggie, despite how nice she was being to her. Besides, the sun was warm; as Maggie helped lower her to the grass next to the concrete path, Y/N tilted her face into it and sighed with her eyes closed. “It’s so nice out here,” she whispered. “So peaceful and free. I don’t know if I could ever go back.”

“You talking about going back inside or going… back-back?”

Was she that obvious? Y/N shrugged. “Both?”

Maggie sat next to her with her feet flat on the ground, forearms resting on her knees. “Yeah, I can see that.” Then she was quiet, as she and Y/N listened to the birdcalls, the wind rustling through the apple trees. Finally, she said, “But you know, it’s not really going back. Kind of like, going to something different. Something better.”

Y/N smiled wryly. She’d thought that, at first, and even though she was pretty sure that what she’d said the day she’d left hadn’t changed, that she still wanted to be with Miss Kara, she wasn’t sure just how different it would be.

“I guess so; I mean Alex’s nice even when she beats you.”

“Hey,” Maggie said, a flash of anger crossing over her face before she quickly schooled it behind impassivity. “That’s not all Ma'am does.”

“I-I didn’t mean that,” Y/N said hastily, feeling ashamed of herself. “I-I know she punishes you in different ways, not just by hitting you. I mean, I-I guess she gives you corner time or lines or-or something that’s not hitting, I mean even though she’s harsh she’s—“

“Whoa, whoa,” Maggie held up her hands to stop Y/N’s rambling. “Little H, I don’t know what’s going on but Ma'am doesn’t just punish me, you know.”

“She doesn’t?”

Maggie raised an eyebrow at her. “Uh, no… I mean we have some fucking good sex, that’s for sure.” She laughed as Y/N gasped a little and blushed. She nudged her with her shoulder and winked before she asked a question that made Y/N’s blood run cold.

“Did he ever tell you you’re good?”

She didn’t answer, and Maggie nodded. She ran a hand over her head and down her ponytail, her face looking like she was thinking hard – and that it hurt her to do. “Ma'am tells me I’m good all the time. Even after she punished me the other night.”

“Wait, she told you that you’re good after a punishment?”

“Well, yeah? ‘cause she thinks I am. I mean I fuck up, like, real bad sometimes and I know it upsets him. But she’s never, ever told me I’m bad. She actually kinda gets pissed when I say I am.”

“Do you… do you think I’m bad?” Y/N asked softly. She could hear Sir’s words echoing in her head, and she tried to push them away.

“Does it matter what I think?” Maggie asked. She laid back on the grass with her hands behind his head and stared up at the sky. “I mean I don’t give a rat’s ass what other people think of me, all I care about is what Ma'am sees.” She glanced up at Y/N. “Kind of funny that no matter what I’ve done to screw up before, or what I’ll screw up today or tomorrow or the next day, she’ll still look at me like I’m the best thing since K9s. Well, next best thing.”

She felt jealous of her, then, watching the dreamy smile that was on her face, the pride in her eyes as she spoke about Alex. She tried to remember if she’d ever talked about James that way, and then she smiled a little when she remembered her words to Maggie the night she’d panicked.

“She’s the best.” Words about Miss Kara.

And Miss Kara had sent a text to Alex. Proud of her. And it didn’t matter that Brainy probably thought she was a little melodramatic and crazy, or that Nia probably got annoyed at having to coax her into the PT room. All that mattered was that Miss Kara was proud of her. Which is why she couldn’t bear it if Miss Kara was ever angry at her.

“But what… what does she do when she’s not punishing you?”

Now the look on Maggie’s face told Y/N that she couldn’t believe she’d just asked that, and she felt her cheeks go hot with embarrassment. She looked down at her hands, twisted in her lap.

“Well there’s the really good sex,” Maggie said, snorting when Y/N squeaked yet again. “But there’s other stuff too, I mean we cook together and go to the movies. We went to the theater with Kara a couple of times, she loves that stuff.”

Theater. She loves that stuff. The numbers in her phone. Y/N’s eyes widened. Would Miss Kara maybe… like to go to the theater with her? There’d be a lot of people and she wouldn’t really know what to do; but she could do it, for Miss Kara…

“And a lot of times if I have a good day or week or I’ve done something like really cool, Ma'am lets me choose what we do. Or she surprises me with something she knows I’ll like.”

“She surprises you?”

“Yeah, Ma'am says rewards are just as important as correction.”

“Rewards,” Y/N echoed, lips turned downward as she contemplated.

“Didn’t get a lot of those, huh?”

She shrugged. “She said that discipline was the only thing I needed.”

Maggie shook her head and sat up. “Dick. Good thing Kara’s different.” When Y/N didn’t answer, Maggie reached out and gently touched Y/N’s knee, drawing back when she flinched slightly. “Yeah, sorry about that. But you know… you know Kara’s different, right?”

Y/N shrugged again.

She stood up and brushed off her jeans, extending her hand to Y/N and helping her back into the chair. “I gotta get back home, tonight’s spaghetti night and if I don’t make Ma'am's garlic bread she gets pouty. Sometimes I wonder which one of us is the brat. Don’t tell her I said that.”

Y/N laughed and let Maggie push her wheelchair to the door of Nia’s house. She stopped then, turning to her.

“You know, I think the fact that you’re here, that Kara hasn’t taken you… I think that should tell you how different she is. She cares about you. I know it’s hard for you to trust her, but… look at me, dude. I was a dealer. I should’ve had no chance. But look who I got now.”

Y/N smiled a little. “So think you can find me somebody to love?”

“Nah,” Maggie said with a wink. “I think you’re doing that pretty well on your own. See ya, little H.”

She replayed her conversation with Maggie in her head over and over for nearly an hour; she fixed herself something for dinner and sat on the couch idly flipping through the channels before she finally turned the television off and tossed the remote onto the cushions.

Trust her, she’d said. I think you’re doing that pretty well on your own.

She looked at the phone, resting next to the remote. Things could be different. Things were different. She’d walked on her own, without Miss Kara.

But she still wanted her.

Y/N picked up the phone.

Would you like to see me tomorrow?

The sound of ringing made her jump minutes later, and Y/N hurried to press the answer button.

“H-hello?”

The voice was sweet, pleased, and happy.

“I thought you’d never ask,” Miss Kara said.

[batteriestore]

Genesis Thor 420 RGB Low-Profile Mechanical Keyboard Review: Low profile, small setbacks, good value

Genesis is a smaller name in the gaming peripheral world, but the brand is steadily gaining popularity, particularly in the e-Sports community. The Polish-based company makes and sells all sorts of peripherals, including keyboards, mice, headphones, microphones, PC cases, and more, which are specifically targeted at value-oriented customers.

Genesis sent me the Thor 420 RGB low-profile mechanical keyboard, and I've been using it almost exclusively for the better part of three months. As a primer, I have experience with both membrane and full-sized mechanical keyboards; my daily driver is a standard Logitech K120 membrane keyboard, but I've also spent substantial time using a Razer Blackwidow (w/ Razer's Green switches, equivalent to Cherry MX Blue switches) and Corsair K70 (Cherry MX Red switches).

Depending on the retailer and region, the Genesis Thor 420 RGB ranges in price from €60-80 (US$70-95) at the time of publication.

Design

The Thor 420 RGB is a beautiful piece of kit. The aluminum keyboard deck sits atop a low-profile black plastic base. The keyboard is 418 mm long, making it a hair shorter than most other standard keyboards. It still takes up a fair amount of desk space.

As a low-profile keyboard, the Thor 420 RGB is fairly short at 24 mm. The keys sit flush with each other rather than in tiered rows (more on this in a bit), giving the keyboard a sleek aesthetic. The keys themselves are elevated above the keyboard deck and the transparent casings of the switches are exposed, allowing the RGB lighting to shine around each key rather than just through. The overall effect is rather pleasing.

The keys use a chiclet design like many laptops rather than the traditional beveled design used in most mechanical keyboards. Because of this, the keys sit flush in a plane. While this helps keep the height down, it can make key recognition difficult, especially for touch typists. There is little tactile indication as to where one key ends and another begins, and it can be difficult to know over which row fingers lie.

Another issue is the size of the individual keys. The letter keys on the Thor 420 RGB measure 15 mm2; most beveled keyboard keys (like those on the Logitech K120) measure 18-20 mm2. Some mechanical keyboards have slightly larger keys. While a difference of 3 mm on each dimension doesn't look large on paper, it alters the typing experience substantially. Coupled with the lack of a tactile boundary between keys, the small size requires major readjustment.

During my first month with the Thor 420 RGB, I found myself constantly mistyping keys. I commonly hit multiple keys simultaneously or typed in the wrong row. After sticking with the keyboard and adjusting my typing style to the Thor 420 RGB, I've come to like it, primarily because of the tactile bump of the switches and the speed with which I can type. It takes some adjustment, but I've found myself typing faster on the Thor 420 RGB and quite enjoying the experience.

Overall, the design is beautiful but different from most other mechanical keyboards. The keys and their flat aesthetic will take some time getting used to. Even experienced typists will need time to readjust to the Thor 420 RGB. After adjustment, the keyboard feels great and can improve both the typing and gaming experience.

Specifications

The Thor 420 RGB uses low-profile mechanical blue switches. Genesis says the travel distance is 1.2 mm and that actuation force is a mere 45 grams. Response time is rated at 1 ms.

When using the keyboard, I noticed that the switches trigger very easily and have a light tactile bump that is perceptible but not distracting. The Content Slim Blue switches are very loud and sound like a machine gun during writing sessions. As such, office workers may want to look for something with quieter keys (MX Brown equivalents).

While gaming, the keyboard feels very responsive. The bump is more noticeable, as keys are not pressed in such rapid succession. It's miles better than my membrane keyboard; I don't second guess whether or not I've pressed a key.

The Thor 420 RGB, as its name implies, uses RGB backlighting. Each key has its own backlight, rather than the zone lighting used in cheap RGB keyboards. As such, every key can light up in one of several colors. I noticed it lacks the color variety of top-end RGB keyboards, but there are at least nine distinct colors. Using the software, users can set key backlights to any of the 16.7 million colors in the sRGB spectrum, though the keyboard admittedly makes it a bit hard to discern between these.

Additionally, the Thor 420 RGB comes with 19 backlight modes programmed into the keyboard itself. These can be toggled in software, but a nice feature is that there are hotkeys for cycling both RGB modes and colors on the keyboard. Because of this, the Thor 420 RGB is essentially plug-and-play, which is nice. The software is available if you want it, but the keyboard does not rely on it. The Thor 420 RGB also doesn't automatically install a software suite, which gives the users the choice as to whether or not they want to use Genesis' software (more on that below).

Most of the backlight modes will be familiar to users of RGB keyboards. It has the typical static color, color sweeps, and waterfall modes. There is quite a bit of variety, including a "raceway" mode (which lights up a trail of keys in a spiral pattern around the board) and two "explosion" modes (which launch colors in an outward circular pattern when a key is pressed). Most of the RGB modes are fun to explore, and there's enough variety here to match most people's preferences. There are also some preset modes for games like Call of Duty and League of Legends that only light up specific hotkeys.

The Thor 420 RGB also features n-key rollover, which allows the keyboard to register all keys pressed simultaneously without limit. In my testing, this is indeed the case; the Thor 420 RGB registered every single key when I mashed the entire keyboard in testing software. There is also no ghosting. The switches are rated for 50 million clicks, so the keyboard should last a while under heavy use.

Performance

As mentioned, the Thor 420 RGB has a fairly low actuation force of 45 grams and a shallow travel distance of 1.2 mm. For a mechanical keyboard, these numbers are on the low side of things. The result is that the Thor 420 RGB feels snappy but can be a bit "trigger-happy." The keys don't take much to fire off, which is a godsend when fast reflexes are needed and a nuisance when they aren't.

Typing and gaming on the Thor 420 RGB is a dream compared to my old Logitech K120 membrane keyboard. The K120 feels muddy and sluggish in comparison. Even other mechanical keyboards, like the Razer Blackwidow, don't feel quite as balanced; the Razer, for instance, feels cumbersome and heavy compared to the lighter switches and lower travel distance of the Thor 420 RGB.

That said, the Thor 420 RGB takes some getting used to, especially for typing. I found myself having to readjust my style to use a lighter touch. Otherwise, keys would press down too easily. I tend to rest my fingers on my keyboard during breaks in typing. That works fine on the other keyboards I've used that require more force to push a key down, but I found myself triggering keys by mistake.

After about a month of use, though, I found that I like the lower force needed for the Thor 420 RGB. I also found that my typing speed increased slightly from roughly 95 WPM to a solid 98 (100 on a good day). However, I tended to make a few more mistakes, mostly due to the smaller key size (see the section above for details).

Software

Genesis provides a software app for each of its peripherals. These can be downloaded at Genesis' website (genesis-zone.com) and appear to be customized in certain ways for each device.

Unfortunately for the Thor 420 RGB, the dedicated app is barebones. The only features available during our testing period (in version 1.2) are creating, importing, and exporting profiles and changing the backlight modes. Considering the illumination animations can be changed on the keyboard itself, there is very little use for the backlight mode. However, this setting does allow users to customize the backlight for each key and save this lighting to a particular profile. One of the five profiles can be automatically set when a related program is launched. This can be used to light up specific keys with preset colors when specific games are launched, which may be a nice quality-of-life feature for some.

The software does little else. As mentioned, it is a courtesy that Genesis doesn't automatically install this app when the keyboard is plugged in (unlike some other manufacturers). If users want to fully customize the coloration of their keyboard and switch to specific patterns when an app or game is launched, the app is a great tool. For all others who are happy with the presets installed to the keyboard itself, the app is unnecessary.

I would like to see the ability to set macros or rebind the keyboard via software in a future update. There are other keyboards around this price point that have this feature, and lots of gamers would surely appreciate the ability to tie macro setups to profiles. Hopefully, Genesis will enable this at a later date.

Verdict

Genesis hits a lot of high notes with the Thor 420 RGB low-profile mechanical keyboard. The peripheral is solidly built and looks gorgeous. Its RGB backlight is bright and reasonably colorful, and the per-key lighting is a nice bonus. Also, the fact that its backlight animations and presets can be controlled directly from the keyboard rather than through software is a major plus in my book.

However, I have some minor quibbles. For one, the key size is small. I understand that one of the main selling points of the Thor 420 RGB is its low profile and relatively compact design, but the small keys took a long time to adjust to. While my typing speed increased during my time with the keyboard, the number of mistakes I made (and still make) while typing also increased. I make fewer mistakes now than I did during the first two weeks of my review, but it is still a bit frustrating.

Lastly, the minimalist software feels incomplete. Genesis advertises the keyboard with a macro assignment feature, but the software doesn't provide one. If Genesis has some other version of the app hiding somewhere and I find it, I will update this review. As it stands in September 2020, the software is only good for setting up a customized backlight pattern. That's nice, but this keyboard should be able to do much more.

For the price (~€80/$93), there's a lot to like with the Genesis Thor 420 RGB. There are plenty of cheaper RGB mechanical keyboards out there, but those don't have the clean aesthetic and solid durability that the Thor 420 RGB has. This is a keyboard that easily hangs with the big players in the RGB mechanical keyboard world (and even outpaces a few in some areas).

[fuzzykittysoftkitty-blog1]

Shoot, But It'll Value You

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