#just some terfs being trans and biphobic lol

[hello-nichya-here]

lmao you're so angry that you know shit about radfem so made an entire fucking essay of actually... PROVING IT??? of made up facts to make radfems look like a boogieman liberals wants us to make 😂 it's so pathetic omg, ok step by step:

1)lol what? radfem is about WOMEN, woman's safety, it doesn't matter who exactly was the abuser, what matters is to help female victim because it a movement about WOMEN. Take your head out of your ass.

2) Laetitia Ky, Artė, any south Korean radfem cuz any other type of feminisms won't work there hundreds of woc radfem here just 🗿

3) lol what? did you just imagined it yourself lol?? i'll repeat, radfem is about women well being, it doesn't matter who exactly was the abuser, what matters is to help female victim because it a movement about WOMEN not victims of abuse. and it just so happened that men commit about 90% of abuse, that's a statistic you can google go educate yourself

4) didn't libfem tumbler came out with this bs? it's the same labeling woman, putting them into unneeded categories that liberals like so much? i'll repeat, radfem is about women well being which means no separation from one another and no judgment especially about your sexuality. Take your head out of your ass.

5) ohhh yess we all just haaaaate ace.... no lmao. no one gives a shit, maximum is questioning the label itself cuz it's pointless, your asexuality is a low libido. no radfem gives a shit.

6) lmao where do you take this shit? 😂 can i take your narco dealer's number? also, oh what's this? several public researches that proves that TIMs exhibit a male-type pattern of criminality? rapes in prisons where trans women were sent? hundreds of assaults in public restrooms??? wow shocking!

7) you don't need to be saved, some therapy, cuz i doubt you'd like to be beaten/choked/ect in any other circumstances. another question does it not bother you that your partner would enjoy "playfully" hurting you? in short it's called coping mechanism to deal with abuse and trauma, go educate yourself

8) yeah for some reason we don't support child trafficking, rapes, murders, pedophilia and etc. that comes with prostitution. go watch interviews with those who escaped prostitution, they all hated it. they were abused and traumatized. Take your head out of your ass.

9) hun, we don't hate you we pity you at worst. it's not our job too look out for men, it FEMENISM it's about WOMEN and only WOMEN. adult human female, comprende?

and listen i may not be the best person in the world but at least i'm not spending my life chronically online writing incest fics ;) one again, pull your head out of your ass and educate yourself, here's some masterpost https://manlarp.tumblr.com/post/667874370724691968/accessible-radfem-ideology-masterpost bye bye :)

Saying "WE ARE ALL ABOUT WOMEN" doesn't change shit. You once again proved my point by saying that my experience with radfems spewing out abuse apologism towards me when they thought I was being abused didn't happen based on nothing but your favorite go-to defensive line. YOU didn't see it thefore it didn't happen to ME. Way to prove you guys don't try to silence women who disagree with you by trying to exactly that.

And yeah, I know there are woc of who are TERFs. There are also women who are even more misonygistic than some men. There are plenty of slavic countries where nazism is still a big thing even though Hitler hated slavs. Self-hating idiots have existed and always will. Doesn't change the fact that you fuckers are racist all the damn time.

"We don't care if people are ace, we don't devide women" literally a quick search will show that you guys do. A bunch of the anti-ace discourse was literally INVENTED by radfems, something they are very proud to admit. And plenty of queer radfems are biphobic all the fucking time, something I, a bisexual woman, have to put up with every single time one of your friends comes bother me. Go lie to someone else, bitch.

"Those who ESCAPED prostitution hated it" Yes, people tend to hate things they were forced to do. Doesn't change the fact that you guys are more concerned with making women who WANT to do sex work be labelled as criminals than with punishing human traffickers.

And once again, we have you being all condescending. "Let ME tell you what YOU want. Let ME tell you what makes YOU feel safe." And gotta love how you heard me say I'm kinky and immediately assumed I'm submissive, instead of a dominant or a switch. And then of course you have to go for the slut shaming of "You write kinky porn therefore you are automatically wrong."

"FEMINISM IS ONLY ABOUT WOMEN" Which is why it is dying. If your movement cannot accept that the world isn't black and white, and that societal hierarchies are much more complicated than just Group A is always the all powerful one and Group B always gets screwed over, it WILL fail because it will be ignoring real problems for the sake of keeping a narrative alive. Which is why nobody fucking likes radfems, and the world would be better off if you idiots were gone.

I don't need to read your bullshit, because you idiots will scream your nonsense at me all the time, like you just did. And not once have any of you ever said a single word that was worth listening.

Don't bother sending me more asks, I'll just block you. Go larp with your fellow radfems about every single woman who has a problem with you guys is "brainwashed by the patriarchy" because there's no way you guys could EVER be the problem and that your "activism" is as shallow, stupid and fake as you are.

[redheadbigshoes]

*long rant incoming, not directed at you, apologies in advance*

lesbian is one of the only identities where even in the queer community expressing pride for it is actively discouraged. we’re only allowed to like being lesbians if we only make it about our love for women and if we mention that we aren’t attracted to men and god forbid enjoy and embrace that part of our queerness then the accusations come rolling in

these people do KNOW that a woman not being attracted to men goes against the heteronormative standard, right? and therefore it is as much a lack of attraction to men as it is attraction to women that makes a lesbian queer, right? when gay men express pride in being gay and not being attracted to women no one gets mad. but if a lesbian does it, we're transphobic, biphobic, making men feel bad about being men (?) and oppressing them by not liking them (???). lmfao. what planet do these people live on?

lesbians are literally a red flag to people now. anything we say about our lack of attraction to men is interpreted as somehow an attack on trans women (because assuming we actually mean trans women when we say "men" is progressive apparently?) or trans men, or bi women. they treat our entire identity like a dogwhistle

everyone seems so convinced that no one isn't attracted to men. could it be that there's a whole demographic of queer people on whom the expectation has been placed to be attracted to men because of their gender but they're not attracted to men and that's part of why they're queer? and could it be that these people are the first goddamn letter in the acronym? read sarcasm. lesbians don't only make cishet people uncomfortable, we make other queer people uncomfortable

i'm a lesbian. i don't like men. i love not loving men and it's part of what makes me queer. cope.

I feel like because of other identities erasure and how lesbian and other homo-oriented terms like homosexuality and gay used to “include” anyone who is attracted to the same gender, people think they have a right to use those terms as umbrella terms til this day. They not only don’t think enough to understand they’re promoting their own identity’s erasure by using terms that don’t actually describe their sexuality, but they’re also invalidating a whole identity.

I hate how people use homosexuality and gay to mean attraction to the same gender, completely ignoring that those terms also come with the lack of attraction to the opposite gender. Lesbian is not only about attraction to women, it’s also very much about lack of attraction to men. But non-lesbians and also people who are queer and attracted to the opposite gender will never understand how not being attracted to the opposite gender, ESPECIALLY not being attracted to men, goes entirely against this heteronormative society.

When we mention, when we want to make sure people understand our lack of attraction to men is also an important aspect of our identity, that it goes totally against what society expect of us, people treat us like we’re some kind of monsters, or even call us [insert] phobic (I don’t know why lol). Those same people who love to pretend they’re feminists at the second they see a woman or nb person being proud of their lack of attraction to men throw a tantrum about that.

Are those people okay? Because it’s like they think men can be oppressed lol, it’s like they think misandry is real.

We can’t talk about our own issues and experiences (without mentioning any other queer identity) that - just like you said - people assume we’re terfs, we’re biphobic, we’re any other type of phobic. The funniest thing is them assuming whenever we talk about men we’re including trans women lol, because who’s the transphobe for thinking we’re talking about them?

We’re the fucking first letter in the acronym and people give us no respect. They give us no voice to speak up about our issues and experiences and to call out lesbophobia. We’re the first ones they attack. And it’s sad and frustrating other queers doing that.

Lesbians can be proud of not liking men. That doesn’t mean we hate them. And even if some of us do lol considering how men treat us it’s very understandable to hate them.

[zisveryconfused]

Ok im done on tumblr fhfjjffj

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Sorry I have a question, I see some people saying queer is a slur and straight people aren't allowed to use it, my question is, what should we use instead of queer then? I don't really know other words that I can use instead but I don't wanna upset anyone

Don’t be sorry for asking questions <3

Queer is a slur only if you’re using it to insult and demean someone. Same goes for ‘gay’, ‘lesbian’, and a shit ton of other lgtbq related words. As long as it comes from a place of respect, you can and should use queer.

There are people who say ‘queer is a slur’ and discourage literally everyone from using it, but there’s a very good chance such people are exclusionists of some sort. Queer is vague and is an umbrella term for all identities, which means people who are questioning or are unsure of what labels to use can use queer to define themselves. And it’s very inclusive, so exclusionists, who are all highly biphobic, transphobic and aphobic don’t like it being used. Idk how to explain exclusionists lol they basically treat queer spaces like they’re some sort of secret club into which only gay and lesbian people can enter and everyone else who tries to get in is just a straight person seeking attention. Which is stupid. And terfs don’t like queer too, because again it’s inclusive and they don’t like trans and genderqueer people being involved in anything. Idk if I’m even making any sense at this point, but basically - if you see anyone saying that queer is a slur and shouldn’t be used, chances are they’re a lost misguided soul or they’re highly malicious, so I would avoid them.

Anyway, yeah, you can use queer, or if you want another umbrella term, you can just use ‘gay’ or any variation of the lgbtq+ acronym.

[vampish-glamour]

Can you explain “bi lesbian” thing to me? I know it has something to do with SAM but idk anything else

Of course! Just know I completely hate the term lol. But I doubt you’re here for “uwu here’s some education, bi lesbians are valid!” anyways.

From what I understand, there’s a bunch of different meanings from different groups. I hate them all.

1.) Bi women who prefer women

I’m pretty sure this is a possible definition. I’ve heard people saying that if a bisexual woman has a strong preference for women, she can call herself a lesbian.

This one’s biphobic, because it suggests that 50/50 attraction is True Bisexuality, and anything else needs to have a separate label. It also defines bisexuals based on their preference (which not all bisexuals have ofc) and not based on their bisexuality alone.

It’s also homophobic because it erases the meaning of lesbian by applying it to anybody who isn’t a woman exclusively attracted to women. Most importantly, It suggests that if somebody calls herself a lesbian, she might actually be bisexual with a preference, and therefore men still have a chance with her.

2.) The Split Attraction Model (SAM)

I hate the SAM, and this is part of the reason why.

According to the SAM, romantic and sexual attraction are separate. So somebody could be homosexual—sexually attracted to the same sex, but also biromantic—romantically attracted to both sexes. Or vice versa. I strongly believe this is just internalized homophobia and biphobia gone unchecked and encouraged to remain unchecked. (Also it sexualizes the labels, which is a problem homosexuality and bisexuality already have and don’t need worsened)

So, like people call themselves a “gay ace” because they’re “homoromantic” asexual, people call themselves a “bi lesbian”. Meaning that they’re either bisexual “homoromantic” or homosexual “biromantic”.

These people are most likely bisexual with internalized biphobia that makes them want to claim the lesbian label to water down and not come to terms with their bisexuality, or are lesbian with internalized homophobia that makes them want to believe they’re attracted to men in some way.

3.) Lesbians who date and/or sleep with trans women.

This one is a TERF term. As in, trans exclusionary radical feminist. I don’t think anybody would actually call themselves a bi lesbian to communicate this, as it’s mostly an insult TERFS throw at lesbians who date/sleep with with trans women. Then again, considering pansexuality started out as “will date trans people”, it wouldn’t surprise me if there are people out there who call themselves bisexual lesbians because they’ll date trans women. I just haven’t seen it to the extent I’ve seen the last two.

TERFS believe trans women are men, so they believe that no lesbian would be able to be attracted to a trans woman. Therefore, they say that any lesbian who knowingly dates/sleeps with trans women is a “bisexual lesbian”.

Transphobic for obvious reasons, which is why it’s so surprising to me to see “bi lesbian” being treated as an actual label when it’s a very common term in TERF circles.

I do think there’s some credibility in the idea that a lesbian probably wouldn’t want to sleep with a pre-op trans woman, and if she genuinely finds herself attracted to male anatomy she’s probably bisexual. That doesn’t mean she’s a bi lesbian, though. It means she could be bisexual.

I hope that explains things! I’m no expert on this, I’m going from personal experience and what I’ve seen. So I might’ve missed something.

[sometipsygnostalgic]

r/PrincessesofPower seems chill so far unlike twitter and tiktok, but on YouTube the letts react youtubers simply said they don't ship entrapdak and a bunch of them came and said "but it's the best ship in the entire show!!!!" "entrapdak is so much better than the toxic catradora" like... can we have 1 sapphic show without people saying "the Elon Musk/Grimes relationship is the best part of it"? I like Hordak but as you said, people defending the edgy man while tearing apart his teenage lesbian victim is sus.

Oh I saw that video, and they didn't just say they disliked it - they said "No! We don't do that here!"

Like, villifying the people who had commented about i.

I think it was a misunderstanding. They probably believe there is a massive age gap. After all, the Entrapta/Hordak discourse kept ME away from the show, until I forgot all about it lol. 

If you look at the comments you can see me, lamenting that these reactors read the comments, being sad they hate it already because I actually think this character dynamic is one of the best in the show but theyre just gonna find it weird now, and also telling people, no, Entrapta is not over 30 years old, shes somewhere in her mid to late 20s.

Entrapdak shippers are also, as per the video comments, a bit obsessive and defensive. If the video makers continue their trend of being weirded out by the pairing, they are going to have an awful rest of the video series, both because of the show's content and the defensive fans who quite obviously wont like being called weirdos for enjoying a half-canon pairing.

The defensiveness continues as you say in conversations where people bash one ship in favour of another. There is literally no reason to bash CatraDora to defend your pairing, as easy a target as CatraDora may be.

Back in my homestuck days, I saw people bashing Davekat in defense of Vrisrezi. Or, bashing it because some people liked it more than Vrisrezi! I quickly distanced myself from these people, who would bash gay men in favour of gay women (they were somewhat biphobic and strictly headcanoned Vriska and Terezi as lesbians), and then one of them was Kate Mitchell, who turned out to be one of the biggest assholes to ever work on the main franchise. Kate's a trans woman, but she's also a TERF. How the hell do I explain this? She hates any trans people who go for surgery and calls them freaks.

[positivityforlesbians]

hi! i have some questions that i hope i can explain well as i don’t want to be misunderstood- i know many TRAs that say we lesbians are transphobic because we prefer to not date/being in a relationship with trans women as because our non attraction to penis.. they in fact say that we can be in a relationship with them because after all we don’t have sex necessarily and that centric our discourses around only genitalia is transphobic... now, all of those discourses are a daily routine on twitter especially and it makes me feel very bad. i don’t think that only saying we aren’t into trans women it’s transphobic, we (or at least many lesbians i know) don’t say something like that transphobia isn’t real or shit like jk rowling said, how can they see everything as transphobia?

and, as if it wasn’t enough, in those days a lesbian shared her experience with her ex gf that was bi, and she break up with her for a man so this lesbian girl shared how she felt and everyone said to her that if she felt bad and doesn’t want to feel like that then why she dated a bi woman, she could chose another lesbian but... when a lesbian say she wants to date only lesbians because she wants to share same experiences even there we are biphobic, the most hurting thing was seeing some other lesbians agreed with the fact other are biphobic for it— after this another bi woman said that we silence them when they talk about men and i really don’t know where she lives but in the society where I live eteronormativity is still a thing and i’ve never seen a lesbian silencing straight or bisexual girls when talking about men as because we don’t even are out most of the time.

I feel that especially twitter become a bad place for lesbians, or at least for me. what do you think about? and why now if people see a lesbian especially quickly say to her she’s a terf??? or a transphobic or a biphobic, or other things aside the lesbophobia. it seems really to me we can’t have not a single piece for us lol

----

Hi, yes Twitter has become an especially bad place for lesbians, there is this “better than thou” atmosphere there in general but it’s worsen for us because our simple sexual orientation is seen as bigoted. They don’t say it like that (and unfortunately it’s not exclusive to Twitter), they don’t say “oh lesbianism is wrong and you’re disgusting for it” they say “you are solely into people with vagina/vulva ?! Eww transphobic scum, you’re not a lesbian but a vagina fetishist, drink bleach !” this is the type of shit 2.0 homophobes say and it must be fought as much as possible. These people are way too comfortable with their homophobia yet they are validated for it because they pretend to be our allies or to be like us, the truth is they are none of that.

If you follow the right accounts (whether it be on Twitter, Tumblr or any social media and person irl) then you will not see this being spread like the Gospel. There is no reason why suddenly all lesbians would be evil “TERFs” in the wrong about this topic : maybe just MAYBE we’re accused this much because we all see a huge problem with the way gender/trans activism is addressing lesbians and homosexuality in general (but not only) and since it’s targetting us we are speaking up. They are angry that we don’t let ourselves be disrespected and honestly ? It means we are doing the right thing, homophobes should be angry that their strategy is met with adversity.

It was addressed on positivityforlesbians once but J.K Rowling defended lesbians in her statement (and never wished any harm on trans people) but are they talking about that ? No of course, they spread lies to the point you even seem to think she wrote something objectionable when she didn’t. If we erase the reality of sex then we erase the reality of homosexuality (and heterosexuality), we aren’t attracted to an inner state of gender identity, we aren’t attracted to stereotypes of gender, we are attracted to people of the same sex (or opposite sex for straight people), there is nothing wrong about it. We must be extremely careful of the ways new homophobes spread their toxic rhetoric, they do it in our spaces and that’s how they differ greatly from traditional homophobes. It makes them more dangerous in the sense that they feed this to young impressionable wlw and mlm who aren’t seeing it for what it is. Like you said, lesbians are very much targeted by hateful discourses, on many topics, none of it is acceptable. It’s normal that you’re angry, anon. Xx

[spinnerprincess]

happy ace awareness week

i think you’re all probably aware that i’m ace by now, i mention it from time to time, but in case you’re not... heyyyyyy

you can find a lot of ace resources around, teaching you about asexuality, what it means, etc. i’ve been personally appreciating the hell out of lyd’s comics on the subject, the most recent of which is here.

this post isn’t for that. this post is for being aware of where i’m at regarding being ace. i would appreciate it if you read it.

hashtag lgbt/ace discourse ahead.

it’s been a weird year for me. a lot of good things have happened, and so have a lot of bad things. dealing with my asexuality has fallen into both categories. 

when i first encountered the term asexuality and adopted it for myself it was a very different time. i had made a friend who was ace. without going into detail, they were a little older than me, and were dealing with the aftereffects of a bad relationship where they felt harrassed and later assaulted by a partner. so i came into it with the full awareness that being ace could be rough and cause discrimination, etc. 

but honestly, in some ways, it was an easier time. back in 2011 asexuality felt less visible, but where it was visible, it was accepted pretty freely. some conversations around terms like “allosexual” began cropping up around them. i think i navigated them fairly well, and i learned a lot, and with everything i learned i grew surer that being ace was both a term that made me feel validated and comfortable, and the word that best defined my gender/sexuality experience. 

the worst thing i had to deal with was people who hated “aces prefer cake” jokes and the occasional “stop calling yourselves aces you’re not playing cards” which, meh, it’s just a cute shortening. i love it. didn’t stop then, won’t stop now. you couldn’t pay me to go back to a time when i thought sherlock was worth any attention (i at least didn’t fuckin ascribe to a lot of the shit like “oh he’s ace/aro and it excuses his bullshit” haha fuck off.). but. boy. sometimes i miss it.

this past year or two, it’s been shitty. first we had the tail end of the “queer” discourse. i understood some viewpoints coming out of that, but ultimately settled on feeling like it the people arguing to remove it from the lexicon were wrong. i think there’s some valid points to be made, but mostly found the whole argument tiresome. Let people call themselves what they want, and don’t use it for people you don’t know like it, or for the whole community. Done. 

and if I’m a little more hesitant to use it for myself, if i once described myself as queer freely and happily, and now do so nervously, backspacing it out of the text once or twice, that’s... something i hope to overcome.

but boy oh boy did that discourse just dovetail right into my personal hell. the kind of people who don’t want to see the community expanded, who want to stay on top and exclude people who aren’t being their kind of gay, immediately dug their claws into that argument about “queer” and didn’t stop.

i’ve endured months and months of ace discourse now and it’s... it’s been exhausting. i’m not even directly involved in it, but it’s still there. it’s constant. it’s insidious. 

what started as a counter argument of “queer is a great as a blanket word for people with complex identities, such as ace people” dove directly into “well, are ace people lgbt?” and didn’t stop. suddenly it was the topic of the season. early definitions said “yes” or “if they think they are.” more arguments. “well, heteroromantic aces aren’t lgbt,” became popular. i can see why. that kind of invisible distinction could play well into pretending you’re straight, after all - right? so went the discourse. ugh.

as that argument caught on, people with anti-ace agendas pushed it further. “so being ace alone doesn’t make you lgbt.” “kids can’t identify as ace, that’s sexualization.” “cishet aces just want to steal our resources.” 

i don’t want to go into all of these but. boy. some of them were presented logically, kindly. others devolved quickly into “aces are the worst and can die,” “ace people don’t belong full stop,” and even “lol look at me i’m a tumblrina i’m 13 years old asexual fictkin special snowflake” as the punchline of jokes that spread outside of this site. 

some ace people are assholes and of course stirred the pot more by being overtly bitter/turning things into oppression olympics type bickering over how aces have the worst, or whatever. some blogs people cited for examples of “terrible ace people co-opting lesbian stuff” or whatever else were literally from sockpuppet blogs making fun of ace people.

for a time, i even bought into some of it. i thought some of the early arguments, that heteroromantic aces shouldn’t be considered lgbt, might have valid points. but you know what? that’s bullshit. if you believe you belong, you should be welcomed with open arms. hetero aces experience some of the same shit i do. they probably also experience other shit. just because i don’t know what it is, or it’s different from mine, doesn’t mean it isn’t an alienating, and perhaps even queer, experience. their sexuality, as nuanced as it is, still sets them apart and they deserve support. we all do. 

it sucks to think that this shitty shitty discourse had me believing in a position that invalidated my own experience of aceness being the source of much of my queer experiences, for a while.

all this to say nothing of the invisible hate seeping towards aromantic people as well, lolololol. it’s not a big part of me the way being ace is but i’m probably somewhere on the aro spectrum and. great. thanks. i’m still so tired of split attraction model arguments. if it works for you, use it. if it works for other people, let them use it. is it so hard to believe that some people might experience things differently to you? or differently to how you would imagine? god.

my favorite part is when allo people started saying “allo is a slur!!!” when, get this: allosexual was pushed for and partially created by allo people who (rightly) didn’t want to be called “sexual,” like poc, and rape survivors. ace people adopted it into their language for their benefit, not for ours, lololololol

so. that’s the year i’ve been dealing with. i’ve had to unfollow a number of people i thought were otherwise cool over this. i haven’t gone a single month without finding someone i think is amazing, reading through their blog, and discovering with a sense of nausea that they would hate me. genuinely hate me. there’s no love there. someone who says “u shouldn’t follow me if you think ace people are lgbt lol” isn’t interested in hearing and believing my stories, my experiences, my life which is hard and queer and as deserving of support as anyone’s. they aren’t interested in treating me like a person. that’s... i mean, i think that counts as hate. yeah.

i still hesitate on the word aphobia, or, similarly, biphobia. i don’t know if it’s the right way to describe it, when the hatred you refer to comes from within a similar group of people with oppressed sexualities. i wouldn’t hesitate to say post from an allosexual person in favor of in corrective rape w/r/t ace people are aphobic. i wouldn’t hesitate to say a straight person who thinks bi people are disgusting is a biphobe.

but is that reality talking, or is it just me being unable to acknowledge that oppression is oppression, fear and hate are fear and hate, and discrimination towards aces, which i’ve spent the last two years being told isn’t real, despite experiencing it on a regular basis both in and out of community?

what’s the line between discrimination and oppression? if people’s everyday biases make it harder for ace people to live their lives, is there a point in determining that line?

i fuckin dunno. i’m so tired. i’ve spent a long year feeling like i’ve shrunk myself. i feel more comfortable lately talking about fictional ladies and my attraction to them, which isn’t sexual, and isn’t exactly romantic, but it’s... it’s something that exist. just recently i became comfortable feeling like i can use the term “wlw” for myself, which i fought myself for a long time on. being ace, being quietly non-binary were both things that felt like obstacles.

and the wlw community is just full of toxicity still. terfs have grown and drawn others to their ideologies, some of them using anti-ace tactics to do so, others using tried and true biphobic messaging and of course, who could forget the constant hammering of “trans women aren’t women” bullshit they like to pull. 

so that’s one triumph of the year. i’m nb, i’m wlw, i’m ace. i can say those three things and feel pretty comfortable in it. 

i just wish it didn’t also come at costs. i find it harder to express my ace life. i find it harder to feel positively about it. i don’t have the energy to deeply deal with ace headcanons lately. it feels like the online world is hyperaware of us now, if anything. everybody has an opinion. moreover, people feel entitled to an opinion, in a way they weren’t before. people feel like it can be their opinion that my ace experiences aren’t lgbt, or that my sexuality doesn’t exist or even harms theirs, or... i don’t know. what will be the next big reason asexuality is terrible/invalid/not lgbt?

if you bothered to read or hell just skimmed this long post... thank you.

thank you. 

i know i’ve been quiet about a lot of this. not all the time, but a lot of the time. i feel bad about that, a little? i want people to know what this looks like. knowing asexuality exists is so, so good. but knowing that ace people are facing right now, the movement of hatred that has swept across pockets of lgbt people in recent years, and having the awareness to try and combat it...

it would mean a lot to me, if it felt like more of that could exist.

[agent-washingbutt-blog]

i have seen ace people call themselves shit like “pure clean smol beans uwu” opposed to the “sinful” non-ace lgb people, which, by the way, is super homophobic/biphobic rhetoric that straight christians have been using against us for centuries, making aids jokes at our expense, calling use demeaning things like “The Sexuals(TM)”, put us, some of which are transgender, on the same level of terfs who want trans people dead just because we aren’t inclutionist, but sure yeah let’s make this about the mean nasty oppressive exclusions being bigots by calling ace people out on their shit lol. 

[redheadbigshoes]

bi 'lesbian' truthers are ignorant to their irony, their ideas are wrought with hypocritical sentiments. i see so much shit they spout that contradicts within a sentence or within their own community of supporters and go; ''well which is it? what do you believe? do you believe trans men are men or that they are women? do you believe the trans & nonbinary lesbians who call you out you are calling are vile, violent terfs or do you not even know what that word means anymore? do you truly believe the transphobic & lesbophobic notion that trans & nonbinary lesbians arent included by the definition of lesbian alone? how long will you ignore the rampant comphet problem in the identity of bi 'lesbian' and the hurt bisexuals and lesbians struggling to come to terms with their identities, comphet, and internalized lesbophobia & biphobia, suffer through? when will you recognize the way your radinclus movement's language and way of speaking, is horrifyingly mirrored in the way the GC cult speaks, just painted with a different radical ideology? when will you hold your "good faith" radinclus community responsible for the trans/nb/lesbian/bi phobia and harm you have directly done to trans/nonbinary/lesbian/bisexual people, and the greenlight and motivation your community has given to even more extreme concepts like ''transrace''/''transage''/''MAP''/''consang''/''paraphilia'' radical inclusion in the LGBTQ+? when will you address the misogyny, especially transmisogyny in your ideals? you love to call lesbians terfs for speaking out against this, but when will you listen to the BISEXUALS educating you, and stop pretending they dont exist?'' this and so much more.

honestly the amount of shit on this community of people i have seen over the past few years since coming out, it morbidly fascinates me. id love to do a massive deep dive essay into it at some point because it knows no depths and i feel like many people haven't seen just how deep it goes. ive gotten very good at picking out their dogwhistles because of it. its honestly impressive, their blinding ignorance, to the fact they function so much inter-community system wise, a similar hivemind echo chamber, like the way gc terf's hivemind community functions, and yet have the gall to call everyone else and their lesbian mothers the terfs.

They contradict themselves because not only they’re ignorant, but the term is contradictory. If they actually believed trans men were men they wouldn’t be fighting to include them in lesbianism. The only reason they call lesbians who call them out terfs is because it’s been normalized to use that term to offend lesbians, they’ve normalized so much that I think a lot of people don’t take that term seriously anymore, which is extremely harmful for the trans community because there’s still a lot of actual terfs out there.

At the same time some of them want to include trans men in lesbianism they don’t want to include non-binary people (?). What their brains seem to not understand is that when we say non-binary people are included in lesbianism we’re not including ALL non-binary identities. They ignore comphet and even use gold star lesbian rhetoric to invalidate actual lesbians. They don’t think comphet is real so they think lesbians who’ve struggled with it or who’ve been with men before figuring out their identity are not really lesbians. But at the same time they’re including men in our identity which doesn’t make any sense lol.

They want to be lesbophobic so damn much that they don’t realize by doing that they’re not harming only the lesbian community, they’re being biphobic and transphobic as well.

Something that comforts me is to know those people are chronically online because they know their views are wrong, you don’t see them spreading this shit in real life.

[aerospace-agenda]

Probably some of the heights of absurdity that I’ve personally seen the burning trainwreck that walks like a discourse get to, mostly paraphrased.

Suicide baiting, positivity, and other shittiness being posted in positivity tags for a-spec people being justified and excused with “But inclusionists put animals pictures in the discourse tag!” (because those are completely equivalent, right?)

“I’m aphobic (only towards cishets ace/aro ppl)” and, from the same person, in the same conversation; “as someone who is part of the a-spec in two ways (agender and aromantic), I don’t think cishet aces/aros are even supposed to be included under it.” (like, no, seriously though)

"You can’t be non-straight unless you’re attracted to people of your own gender!” (followed up with “why are you saying thats transphobic, biphobic, and/or exorsexist? fine, same or similar gender to yourself, thats it fixed”)

“We can’t have our oppressors in the same community as us!” (after all, there could never be oppressors in the lgbT community as they see it...)

"It’s okay to fit the requirements for an a-spec label, but applying it to yourself is bad and irresponsible!”

Someone saying that sexuality is too broad and complex for labels that mean “not asexual” to be ok. Even if it’s literally just “non-ace”.

“Why are you saying I’m being exorsexist and/or truscummy? All I’m doing is mocking the ridiculous microlabels that mogai tumblr comes up with!”

“it’s always just been lgbt, changing it is disrespectful and offensive!” (a few months pass) “it’s always just been lgbtpn, changing it is disrespectful and offensive!”

"The real terf rhetoric here is saying trans people in general and trans women in particular have ever had exclusionary rhetoric and practices directed at them with any degree of success!” 

“The split attraction model is rubbish!” being said at the same time as “We just hate the cishet aces!”

"We’re hatekeepers lol let’s make a pride flag for us with a big fancy gate on it to show that we’re gatekeepers and proud of it!” (a few months pass) “um calling us gatekeepers is actually super transmisogynistic, because gatekeeping is specifically about controlling trans womens access to medical resources for transitioning.” (there’s so much going on in this one I don’t even know where to start...)

Screenshotting someone complaining about being called a cishet and mocking their upset about it as though they actually were a cishet and not actually, y’know, a trans m-spec person.

“The ace community not wanting to be medicalized is ableist!” 

Saying that an ace who gets into a relationship with an allosexual person without telling them is either inherently abusive for “withholding sex” or inherently abusive for “forcing someone to have sex with you when you’re not attracted to them”, but that it’s not at all OK to say you’re ace to someone who you’re not in a relationship with. (can you say “multi-level catch-22″?) 

And my personal favourite; “Nobody here hates aces!” from the same people as do things like, say, posit that asexuality isn’t even real.

...this was originally only going to be a few things, but even after I got to like five times as much ridiculous shit as I was originally going to put in, I’m not running out. So I suppose I’ll leave it there. You probably get the picture by now.

[vampish-glamour]

you know, you're right when you say people rarely can separate T from LGB, one of the reasons why people forget straight trans people exist. not a terf, but do you think trans community'd benifit from separating themselves from the rest, since their experiences are often very different? or would it actually be worse for them?

I took especially long to answer this one because I’m still working out my thoughts on it and I want to make sure I don’t word my thoughts poorly.

I think that generally speaking, the T makes sense to stay with LGB as a human rights movement. Because all four letters experience homophobia (to my knowledge, trans people are grouped with LGB when it comes to persecution).

But when we’re talking on a smaller scale, like individual charities or organizations or even just discussions, yes, there should be a more distinct separation between LGB and T.

Because if you want to specifically help or talk about same sex attracted people, that’s just LGB. If you want to specifically help or talk about transgender people, that’s just T.

It always feels clunky when people have to go out of their way to find a way to include trans people because they said “LGBT”… but they really just mean LGB. Especially when you don’t see the same for the T; it seems to be widely accepted that you can talk only about the T and not have to lazily include the LGB. It’s especially annoying when you can’t even talk only about same sex attraction because some trans people are straight and it doesn’t apply to them.

I honestly think that a lot of the misunderstandings about what being trans is, or general bad takes about being trans, comes from the lack of separation from LGB. The main example that comes to mind is “We know it’s bad to say homosexuality and bisexuality are medical conditions, so it’s bad to say the same about being trans!”, which ignores that gender dysphoria is very different from sexual orientation. Or the idea that since being LGB doesn’t require medical diagnosis, neither does being trans.

What we’re dealing with is sexual orientation being grouped together with a medical condition regarding gender/sex, which is obviously going to lead to misunderstandings. Either it’s going to be “well if the LGB aren’t medical issues, then the T isn’t either”, or “well if the T is a medical issue, then obviously so is the LGB”.

And of course there’s the issue with mainstream trans activism, and how it’s really harming public perception of the LGBT community as a whole. I have to admit that because of this, I can sympathize with those who want to “get the T out” because LGB people shouldn’t have to deal with being brought down along with something that has nothing to do with them. But at the same time I can’t support the well known “LGB drop the T” organizations because of their rampant transphobia.

I think there absolutely should be organizations geared specifically towards LGB, like I think there should be organizations geared specifically towards T. I have to wonder why it seems like it’s acceptable to have a specifically trans organization, that focuses solely on transgender issues and that’s not seen as homo/biphobic… but the minute somebody mentions wanting a specifically LGB organization that focuses solely on same sex attraction issues, that’s immediately seen as transphobic. I really don’t see what the problem would be, as long as they’re not conducting themselves in the genuinely transphobic manner you see with “ LGB fight back” for example.

Especially because something I’ve noticed is that trans issues tend to take the entire stage when it comes to lgbt issues. I don’t blame people for wanting to have places to specifically focus on LGB issues without being interrupted by trans issues.

It’s okay to acknowledge that same sex attracted people have different issues than transgender people, and vice versa. Topics like medical care or transition don’t really concern LGB people unless they’re trans. Topics like same sex marriage or adoption don’t really concern trans people unless they’re also LGB.

I’m sorry this is probably hard to understand because I’m not really sure how to voice my thoughts properly lol.

TL;DR:

As a whole, I don’t think we should separate T from LGB.

There would be a benefit to making a distinction between the two and having causes specifically geared towards either only same sex attraction, or only being trans.

I don’t agree with the transphobia found in most “LGB drop the T” organizations, and think that if specifically LGB groups are made, they need to just be made without mention of trans people. Make it all about LGB, don’t make it about “fighting the T”.

Sexual orientation and being trans are two different things, they should be treated as such instead of always being lumped together as the same thing.