#just some peace please
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Vent under the cut about transphobia and panic and me being just upset
needed to get it out somewhere
"Reminder that trans healthcare is going out the window" "reminder that trans people are constantly in danger" "Reminder that everyone hates you" "reminder that" "reminder that" "reminder that-"
OKAY I GET IT. I FUCKING GET IT. WE ARE ALL IN DANGER CONSTANTLY. I AM IN DANGER. WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT?! WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO ABOUT IT. GIVE ME S O M E T H I N G.
I'm so fucking sick of "everything is terrible" there HAS to be something we can fucking do to save ourselves, there has to be SOMETHING. Please stop putting posts on my dash that are just "if you're trans, be prepared to die!" THAT IS NOT HELPING US. WE NEED SOLUTIONS. MAYBE THERE'S NONE BUT THERE HAS TO BE HOPE SOMEWHERE. I AM TIRED AND SCARED AND SLOWLY GROWING ILL FROM THE HATRED BEING POURED ONTO ME EVERY DAY. GIVE ME SOMETHING TO HANG ONTO. GIVE ME A BRANCH. A STICK. SOMETHING. A N Y T H I N G.
I'm so FUCKING tired. Please god. Stop just telling me nothing is going to be okay. Please. Please tell me something is going to be okay. Please.
Please.
please
i just want a crumb of hope
anything
#vent#tw: caps#tw: transphobia#im so fucking tired#please stop#please give me some kind of hope#some kind of peace#some semblance of help or comfort or support#im so#so tired#please stop telling me that im going to die in 2 weeks#please stop telling me that its all hopeless#there has to be something#this really isn't helping the fact that i'm trying to be myself and fuckin. get rid of my agoraphobia#I'm going to just... go to bed soon#im really tired of all this#i want to go to sleep and feel peace#not forever#just some peace please#this post was written by a transmasculine feminine man#this post was written by a trans person#this post was written by someone who is scared
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I feel like if you're using a lot of disposable plastic bags in your day to day life, you've gotta do something sustainable to make up for it. Like using bamboo toilet paper or eco friendly cat litter or something, yknow
Honestly I exaggerate for comedic effect, while I DO routinely use ziplock bags to hold spaghetti I cook maybe once a month and the bag itself is usually for freezer storage. I actually throw out maybe one bag a week? I DO hate washing plates and tupperware and junk but that usually just means I eat sandwiches without a plate.
I agree though that needless waste should be avoided, and I do avoid it- biodegradable bags and recyclables, empty butter tubs used to store leftovers, etc.
This said, though, not applicable necessarily for myself but for a lot of others- I feel that it's importat to remember that there are many people who legitimately NEED things like plastic straws, or catheters, or pre-packaged foods
And the idea that that's a moral failing that individuals need to personally make up for when a single billionaire blows out more CO2 in a long weekend than I will in my whole life on a superjet meet-cute in the Bolivian rainforest between humvee drag races funded by the river-polluting textiles plants they planted in a third world country to avoid EPA laws and give an entire village stillbirths and stomach cancer is an idea that those very same bigwigs have spent a LOT of time and money investing in planting in the public psyche.
Like- Glass bottles are infinitely recyclable, so why are so many drinks in plastic now? Loads of drinks manufacturers used to buy them back and clean them for re-use, so why did they stop? If they chose to make something out of a limited and environmentally irresponsible material, why is it my failing to track down a correct process of disposal for them? What if there are none in my area? Do I lobby for more recycling plants in my area? Do I set aside some of my limited time outside the pain factory of my job- which I have more than one of, thanks to rising costs of things just like that drink I just emptied- to properly dispose of this company's waste FOR them?
Say coca-cola just rolled up to your town and started dumping millions of empty plastic bottles in the street, going, "wow, you should really think about building and staffing a recycling depot, it would be really shameful of you to just put these in the trash." When companies purposefully use materials with limited lifespans- because yes, even plastic can only be reused so many times- and tell you it's your own fault if it harms the environment- that's essentially what they're doing, just with more steps.
Yes, its important to be as environmentally concious as we can in our day to day life, but responsible sustainability is not catholicism. We don't get good boy points from our lord and savior Captain Planet every time the average low-income household gathers together to hold hands and repent for a single-use plastic that allows them to access something they need.
Entire families could eat trees and shit dead lithium batteries for years and still not do as much damage to the planet as an average dye plant or braindead celebrity does in a week just for fun, and I'm mad about it
...this went on longer than intended.
TL/DR: DO recycle and minimize waste, but don't beat yourself up over the little waste you can't avoid, and follow the money.
EDIT: Part 2
#I swear to god if any one of you in the notes calls me terminally online or pretends I'm saying you can just dump bags in the ocean#Yes definitely do your best to live sustainably#But also#You personally are not killing pandas#Unless you are in which case please stop#We put too much money into pandas but let them go in peace#Go do some yoga#Sorry if this is a lot but I have a friend with OCD who has legit panic attacks over stuff like this#Like they have to throw out a ripped plastic grocery bag they've had for six years instead of using it to weave yard furniture or smthn#And they'd go into a spiral about killing the planet#So like#I have strong feelings now
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"I'm just saying maybe you don't understand. You're always the one who leaves."
3x16 / 8x08
#i told you i was coming back for more#i started the show a month ago maybe and caught up before 8x06 and IMMEDIATELY started a rewatch from the beginning#i'm currently on s04 again (just watched the lone star ep)#which is a show i also watched in between there somewhere#please give buck Some Peace#buddie#911edit#evan buckley#911#mine: gif#mine#911 fox#911 abc
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Very interesting to me that a certain subset of the BES fandom's favourite iterations of Mizu and Akemi are seemingly rooted in the facades they have projected towards the world, and are not accurate representations of their true selves.
And I see this is especially the case with Mizu, where fanon likes to paint her as this dominant, hyper-masculine, smirking Cool GuyTM who's going to give you her strap. And this idea of Mizu is often based on the image of her wearing her glasses, and optionally, with her cloak and big, wide-brimmed kasa.
And what's interesting about this, to me, is that fanon is seemingly falling for her deliberate disguise. Because the glasses (with the optional combination of cloak and hat) represent Mizu's suppression of her true self. She is playing a role.
Take this scene of Mizu in the brothel in Episode 4 for example. Here, not only is Mizu wearing her glasses to symbolise the mask she is wearing, but she is purposely acting like some suave and cocky gentleman, intimidating, calm, in control. Her voice is even deeper than usual, like what we hear in her first scene while facing off with Hachiman the Flesh-Trader in Episode 1.
This act that Mizu puts on is an embodiment of masculine showboating, which is highly effective against weak and insecure men like Hachi, but also against women like those who tried to seduce her at the Shindo House.
And that brings me to how Mizu's mask is actually a direct parallel to Akemi's mask in this very same scene.
Here, Akemi is also putting up an act, playing up her naivety and demure girlishness, using her high-pitched lilted voice, complimenting Mizu and trying to make small talk, all so she can seduce and lure Mizu in to drink the drugged cup of sake.
So what I find so interesting and funny about this scene, characters within it, and the subsequent fandom interpretations of both, is that everyone seems to literally be falling for the mask that Mizu and Akemi are putting up to conceal their identities, guard themselves from the world, and get what they want.
It's also a little frustrating because the fanon seems to twist what actually makes Mizu and Akemi's dynamic so interesting by flattening it completely. Because both here and throughout the story, Mizu and Akemi's entire relationship and treatment of each other is solely built off of masks, assumptions, and misconceptions.
Akemi believes Mizu is a selfish, cocky male samurai who destroyed her ex-fiance's career and life, and who abandoned her to let her get dragged away by her father's guards and forcibly married off to a man she didn't know. on the other hand, Mizu believes Akemi is bratty, naive princess who constantly needs saving and who can't make her own decisions.
These misconceptions are even evident in the framing of their first impressions of each other, both of which unfold in these slow-motion POV shots.
Mizu's first impression of Akemi is that of a beautiful, untouchable princess in a cage. Swirling string music in the background.
Akemi's first impression of Mizu is of a mysterious, stoic "demon" samurai who stole her fiance's scarf. Tense music and the sound of ocean waves in the background.
And then, going back to that scene of them together in Episode 4, both Mizu and Akemi continue to fool each other and hold these assumptions of each other, and they both feed into it, as both are purposely acting within the suppressive roles society binds them to in order to achieve their goals within the means they are allowed (Akemi playing the part of a subservient woman; Mizu playing the part of a dominant man).
But then, for once in both their lives, neither of their usual tactics work.
Akemi is trying to use flattery and seduction on Mizu, but Mizu sees right through it, knowing that Akemi is just trying to manipulate and harm her. Rather than give in to Akemi's tactics, Mizu plays with Akemi's emotions by alluding to Taigen's death, before pinning her down, and then when she starts crying, Mizu just rolls her eyes and tells her to shut up.
On the opposite end, when Mizu tries to use brute force and intimidation, Akemi also sees right through it, not falling for it, and instead says this:
"Under your mask, you're not the killer you pretend to be."
Nonetheless, despite the fact that they see a little bit through each other's masks, they both still hold their presumptions of each other until the very end of the season, with Akemi seeing Mizu as an obnoxious samurai swooping in to save the day, and Mizu seeing Akemi as a damsel in distress.
And what I find a bit irksome is that the fandom also resorts to flattening them to these tropes as well.
Because Mizu is not some cool, smooth-talking samurai with a big dick sword as Akemi (and the fandom) might believe. All of that is the facade she puts up and nothing more. In reality, Mizu is an angry, confused and lonely child, and a masterful artist, who is struggling against her own self-hatred. Master Eiji, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.
And Akemi, on the other hand, is not some girly, sweet, vain and spoiled princess as Mizu might believe. Instead she has never cared for frivolous things like fashion, love or looks, instead favouring poetry and strategy games instead, and has always only cared about her own independence. Seki, her father figure who knows her best, knows this.
But neither is she some authoritative dominatrix, though this is part of her new persona that she is trying to project to get what she wants. Because while Akemi is willful, outspoken, intelligent and authoritative, she can still be naive! She is still often unsure and needs to have her hand held through things, as she is still learning and growing into her full potential. Her new parental/guardian figure, Madame Kaji, knows this as well.
So with all that being said, now that we know that Mizu and Akemi are essentially wearing masks and putting up fronts throughout the show, what would a representation of Mizu's and Akemi's true selves actually look like? Easy. It's in their hair.
This shot on the left is the only time we see Mizu with her hair completely down. In this scene, she's being berated by Mama, and her guard is completely down, she has no weapon, and is no longer wearing any mask, as this is after she showed Mikio "all of herself" and tried to take off the mask of a subservient housewife. Thus, here, she is sad, vulnerable, and feeling small (emphasised further by the framing of the scene). This is a perfect encapsulation of what Mizu is on the inside, underneath all the layers of revenge-obsession and the walls she's put around herself.
In contrast, the only time we Akemi with her hair fully down, she is completely alone in the bath, and this scene takes place after being scorned by her father and left weeping at his feet. But despite all that, Akemi is headstrong, determined, taking the reigns of her life as she makes the choice to run away, but even that choice is reflective of her youthful naivety. She even gets scolded by Seki shortly after this in the next scene, because though she wants to be independent, she still hasn't completely learned to be. Not yet. Regardless, her decisiveness and moment of self-empowerment is emphasised by the framing of the scene, where her face takes up the majority of the shot, and she stares seriously into the middle distance.
To conclude, I wish popular fanon would stop mischaracterising these two, and flattening them into tropes and stereotypes (ie. masculine badass swordsman Mizu and feminine alluring queen but also girly swooning damsel Akemi), all of which just seems... reductive. It also irks me when Akemi is merely upheld as a love interest and romantic device for Mizu and nothing more, when she is literally Mizu's narrative foil (takes far more narrative precedence over romantic interest) and the deuteragonist of this show. She is her own person. That is literally the theme of her entire character and arc.
#blue eye samurai#mizu blue eye samurai#akemi blue eye samurai#blue eye samurai meta#just in case... im gonna tag this as#mizukemicritical#akemizucritical#though this post isnt actually criticising the ship itself but rather fanon's portrayal of the ship and the characters#for that reason lemme also tag this as#wank.mp3#feel free to disagree of course but please be civil#and if you need to rant about how wrong i am without any convincing evidence kindly feel free to make your own post. peace and love <3#fandom.rtf#meta dissertations.pdf#shut up haydar#edit: for full disclosure. i do rather dislike this ship. but obviously it's fine for anyone to enjoy it. please do! have your fun!#it's just that as usual! popular fanon and fandom around a ship is what has completely deterred me from any sense of enjoyment of it#it's a shame too because i was very open and even eager for some mizu/akemi romance in the future#but out-of-character fanon + the rudeness of certain fans has definitely soured it for me#but that doesn't mean people can't enjoy it obviously! ship and let ship!!!#plus it has its appeal which i DO STILL see and enjoy!!!!#i would even go as far as to call them soulmates because their narratives and characters are LITERALLY intertwined!!!#but. yeah. my gradual distaste for this ship is indeed very unfortunate.
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Hiding the rest of this HUGE comic behind a readmore for ur sanity
Hes got the keenest eye for these things!
Now that this is hiding behind a readmore i can justify writing an essay in here. Nothing big tho i am just very chatty :)!
Postgame where Peppino still gets visits every now and again from the bosses of the tower. I already drew one for the noise (lmao) but i wanted to draw each of the main four interacting with him in some way.
Pepperman is a refined and well renowned artist. His art is highly sought after and his advice is not taken lightly. He has many MANY fortunes to pull from to make his visions a reality and to influence anyone to do anything. Except for Peppino.
From the very first fight, Pepperman is immediately, overwhelmingly obsessed with this stout little brawler. He is much much more than what meets the eyes. He is initially extremely offput and annoyed that a human so boldly decided to waltz into his domain, and he expects to be able to steamroll and bully this…beast…out of his place of work. He is refined when he wants to be, but he is quick to use his brute strength to get what he wants if only bc he knows he can do it
And so when he decides to fully charge and thrash this little trembling human, expecting him to skitter away the second he gets struck, he is completely unprepared for when he gets launched to the other end of this room. The human looks so incredibly PISSED, like a bull seeing red, and suddenly this little altercation suddenly became a real actual ‘knock your teeth out’ brawl. This human is only like half his height, but his punches and bashes fucking knock the wind out of him.
And like ! To add insult to injury!!! After he wins the fight! He visibly deflates, the adrenaline seemingly wearing off. Hes just this trembling fuckin whelp again !!! Whimpering as he fucking runs back out through the portal to do god knows what. And Pepperman could not be any more fucking intrigued. Like this no name came in, whooped his fuckin ass, and went about his day. Its unreal
While Peppino is running around climbing the tower, Pepperman is in his room losing his mind. Hes obsessed. No one has challenged him in this way. No one has fought him and WON. He is ALWAYS able to bully people into submission either through brute force or with money, and he got his ass handed to him !! He needs to know more. Its quite literally consuming him.
Cut to the final fight, set up for a rematch; and he knows he is going to get steamrolled again but it is SO exhilarating to get another chance to see this humans form up close again. This time he can try to commit everything to memory. Its all such a blur though, and in a quarter of the time it took to end their first fight, its over. He gets to watch the human fight the gunslinger with his bare hands, no gun necessary, and he doesnt even bat an eye at what looks to be a clone of himself. He is a force of nature tearing through every single defense, and when Pepperman watches the actual final fight with the bizarre little pizza man, its like hes caught in a movie. The rain, the storm, the atmosphere. He wishes he could burn the entire scene into his mind.
So when everything returns to normal, he takes the time to travel for days to come and find this little human named Peppino. The memory is still strong and vivid but eventually, details will start to slip his mind. He needs to find this human, convince him to sit and do some still life sessions with him to help cement the humans appearance in his head. He hasnt had to resort to…asking for permission for anything in a loooong time…he bullies people into doing what he wants but Peppino is not your average person, and if he wants something from this man, he’ll have to meet him at his level.
He...can make an exception for Peppino...he supposes.
#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#peppino#pepperman#i love love love how this little comic turned out#esp with how peppino came out in so many panels#esp the one w pepperman holding peppino close: that one is the best i think#anyway#yeah#heehee#this is not intended to be shippy but do as u please#pepperman is just an artist that appreciates beautiful BEAUTIFUL forms#and people who defy him#and he has No filter#peppino is like oh my god#hes eccentric…the worst kind of person….#but like#no one has tried to fight him since the tower collapsed#and everyone seems peaceful enough now#so if this weirdo thinks hes ‘beautiful’ and ‘exquisite’ and ONLY wants to spend some time to draw him#well thats better than fighting again; hell take it#also#heehee yes; peppino is using a walkman#hes been holding onto that shit for decades its his ol reliable
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Kuro is always the one to die first. Mickbell is the one that has to go through the anguish of knowing he saw the only one he truly considers a family die. Look at his face when he realizes Kuro died/is going to die.
Mickbell doesn't cry here because he's afraid for his own safety or scared of what just happened. He cries because Kuro put himself into great danger and got killed.
I'll always wonder what would happen if Mick gets killed first.
#mickbell i love you sm#he just has some issues#but he cares deeply about his dog friend#because he's his only family#and vice-versa#kuro would go fereal if sth happened to mickbell#i actually need a good angst/whump gic about them#please someone hear my pleas and send me the link of a mick&kuro angst fic so i can rest in peace#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#mickbell#mickbell tomas#kuro#kuro dungeon meshi#mickbell dungeon meshi#dunmeshi fic ideas#my shit
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happy to announce i’ve finally lost it and spent a considerable amount of time making a dragon age inquisition mod that lets your inquisitor use they/them pronouns. if there’s anyone out there besides me who wants to use it, here it is on nexus.
detailed description and personal commentary under the cut
update: as of 3.05 (may 3rd), the mod has been uploaded to nexus. see download link above for any future updates.
this is a mod for frosty mod manager 1.0.6.1. you MUST install the bioware localization plugin for it to work, otherwise the game won’t start. on fmm 1.0.6.2, the plugin is already built in, so you don’t need to worry;
this mod is a simple overhaul of the game’s base text; no changes were made to the actual voice lines. this mod also does not affect default romance flags (just like in vanilla game, you can only romance sera with a "female" inquisitor (or dorian with "male"), but the mod should, hypothetically, be compatible with other mods that edit romance flags);
you can install it at any point of the game. starting a new playthrough is not necessary;
works for all races and with all available dlcs;
along with the pronouns change, this mod changes all gendered words used to refer to the inquisitor to be gender neutral, i.e man / woman have been replaced with person or contextual variants. my lord / my lady and other similar titles have been replaced with messere (on the basis of this reddit thread);
some of the dialogue could've been mistakenly changed, since context was not always easy to parse. if you try this mod out, i’d greatly appreciate any help with pointing out my mistakes (blackwall’s romance in particular has given me the most trouble); additionally, i might have missed some lines in the codexes, since i skimmed through them very briefly.
i’ve no previous modding experience, so i went with the easiest option and, like i mentioned above, brute forced it and made a complete overhaul of the base game text as opposed to a pickable option i’d like it to be. ideally i’d love for this mod to be bundled together with this other one that switches pc pronouns (which was a partial inspiration for this mod). if anyone here has any knowledge on whether this is something that could be done, please hmu.
also, since in order to make this mod i had to read through the entire game text (it was torturous. not gonna lie) i collected some of my personal favorite bits and pieces along the way. if anyone’s curious, you can look at them here. there’s surprisingly many developers’ notes in there.
#oh boy. let's see#dragon age#dragon age mod#dragon age inquisition#dai mods#NO idea how to tag this. help#i was initially planning to just use screenshots of codexes on inquisitors of every race (since this mod works for all of them)#but decided to take some of parsley instead because they are after all the motherfucker that started it all. my deed is done. i am at peace#i dedicate this mod to my friend srid whos been providing me with emotional support while i worked on this. he kept me sane#i also dedicate this mod to that one person from a random tapatalk thread from 2015 that i found while searching whether someone's done#something like this before. they're the reason the idea for this mod planted itself inception style in my brain back in 2020#anyway. enjoy. please
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pls for the love of all things holy why didn't johnny get creative directive over miagi dos gis my jacked af crew DESERVED TO HAVE FULL SHOULDERS OUT
#im so distressed over this#guys please tell me you understand#they could've beat terrys stupid team into submission with one look at their badass outfits why didn't they take advantage of that#everybody on that team has almost killed somebody via karate now why don't they act like it#these guys broke into peoples houses to beat the shit out of them#all of them should've been in juvie at some point#give them an aggressive looking little outfit with the most peaceful fighting style now they could've cooked#cobra kai season 6#cobra kai series#cobra kai#ck series#tory nichols#hawk moskowitz#eli moskowitz#sam larusso#robby keene#kenny payne#devon lee ck#miguel diaz#demetri alexopoulos#johnny lawrence#daniel larusso#just the black gi without the sleeves or something HAWK AND KENNY AND DEVON WOULDVE LOVED IT
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peaceful is when u punch jews, yell slurs, set things on fire and wave around signs with mein kampf quotes on it
#not sure if stuff was set on fire but i saw a video where stuff was burning so im assuming#either way what’s even the point of calling those protests peaceful other than just to seem like innocent victims#idk making this post bcz of the amount of times ive seen people reblogging stuff about them#“starving out and calling the police on peaceful protesters”#when most of the protestors were violently calling for the deaths of not just israelis but all jews#like free palestine but don’t act like pro-terrorism and violent antisemitism are peaceful or helping anyone#idk#antisemitism#jumblr#<- bcz i don’t feel like being called slurs today#mutuals please read some of you’ve been getting too comfortable#ryan shut the fuck up
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please pray for my grandad-in-law in the coming months, it’s suspected he has cancer in his lymph nodes and there’s a plan for surgery but he also has pretty severe heart failure so general anesthetic is risky.
#both zach and grandma-in-law have an anxiety thing going where ever since he got sick#it’s just ‘oh the Inevitable is finally here’#Zach i’ve managed to convince to at least try to push back panic with ‘I don’t know the outcome I will go forward acknowledging that#the worst could happen but also knowing that it also might not’#but his grandma is a wreck and I know it’s gonna get worse as we get closer to all the big stuff#please especially pray for peace in their family because let’s just say there’s some stuff that needs to be in order#and some silly conflicts they need to settle#prayer request
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Trick or Treat!
(taping a cd of lego island onto you window)
please please please take him off my hands. i can't sleep at night without him going off about lego island or what kind of pizza i should eat. i can't eat plastic. i keep telling him this. please take him i beg of you.
#ask#mossdealer#my art#my characters#boe#boe tai marrow#infomaniac#i havent drawn the infomaniac in a long time and. i think i did well enough at the pixel scale i did.#his scaling might be a bit disproportionate but. lets pretend hes scaled correctly.#can only make him so small before hes just a mess of pixels#anyway i hope you like your treat. or trick. however you see fit i guess.#please dont leave him with me i need some peace
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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.
#jrwi show#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying#nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess#ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so#i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair#both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home#but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again#not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO#i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED#all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis#but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum#and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it#youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes#BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply
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#choi san#san#ateez#haven't you done enough on this day choi san#go to sleep#and give us some peace for 8-10 hours please#he is just#i am drained of thoughts#blah blah so handsome i hate him blah blah
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some heart and soul (from the darkest greys) - 1K
When Tom was fifteen, there wasn't much that brought him joy. There were sunny mornings, and his father's silence, and the colors of the underpass.
Ice &/ Mav
Graffiti
Young Ice
#top gun fanfiction#icemav#tom iceman kazansky#top gun#please tell me america has underpasses for pedestrians#just for some peace in my soul#it wouldn't change anything about the fic
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HOSPITALITY AND GIFT ECONOMY IN THE HIGHLANDS: A POST.
Rites of hospitality are of key importance and taken very seriously in this cultural context, especially given the frequency at which individuals will be traveling (as herders, or along intra-Highlands trade routes). These rites exist as the concept of 'Shiab's peace', a divinely mandated contract of hospitality under the watch of Shiab, goddess of the hearth and of travelers. This is invoked with a standardized verbal exchange with a member of the household- the prospective guest will greet with “I would ask Shiab’s peace of you”, the host, if accepting, will respond with “You will have Shiab’s peace here.” While not explicitly an oath, it is understood as such and ascribed the same profound significance (both social and spiritual consequences for violation).
A potential host can refuse (though usually doesn't, hosting is an honor and can be a power play), but the mere request for Shiab's peace imbues temporary spiritual protection on the asker- one’s most loathed enemy must at least be allowed to leave unharmed, even if denied guest rite. (This isn’t a get out of jail free card, a request for Shiab’s peace is a request for hospitality, not mercy, the goddess will not be protecting you if you attempt to use it in the midst of combat or etc).
Once mutually invoked, the expectations of Shiab’s peace are as follows:
The host should provide for the guest’s basic needs generously within their means, and allow them to stay for a night and provide them a place to sleep.
The guest and host much each provide their names and titles, though the guest is under no obligation to explain the reasons for their presence and cannot be asked.
The guest must accept all food offered (and gifts, though this is not specific to Shiab's peace and rather part of a wider practice in the gift-economy).
The guest must ask for nothing, and take nothing that is not offered.
The guest is under full protection of the host, and vice versa. Theft, assault, or murder committed under Shiab's peace is a grave broken oath and one should expect very severe consequences (both supernatural and mundane, should others find out).
The guest (unless offered continued hospitality) must see themselves out after sunrise the following morning. They cannot be made to leave early.
If a guest is offered continued hospitality, they should offer to participate in any needed chores (the host can accept or decline at their discretion).
The protection of Shiab's peace continues until the following sunrise after the guest leaves (ie a host cannot pursue their leaving guest to steal from them)
Shiab's peace is universal and transcends conflicts, and once invoked cannot be violated under any circumstances. Members of a rival clan or of a tribe yours is at war with, a foreigner you're suspicious of, etc, are all fully under protection (and under their full expectations as a guest).
A guest that violates their expectations can be made to leave, as they have broken the oath and are no longer protected. (in practice, many hosts will let MINOR violations slide unless the guest is like, really annoying or godawful)
The host, in practice, will usually be the wife of the household (if present), as the wife is considered the owner of a family’s home, land, and property, and has final say on how resources are used and given. The host is expected to provide the guest food and drink and a place to stay for one night, and supply any other obvious basic needs (ie: if the guest’s clothing is worn or wet, they should be given fresh clothes). These gifts should be generous within one’s means, and in practice will usually be a square meal, mead/wine/murre, multiple rounds of tea, and a breakfast the following morning. A host that does not provide expected basic needs within their means is in violation of Shiab’s peace and has broken their oath, and should expect consequences.
A guest is not literally oathbound to practice ideal social etiquette, but it's a cultural expectation (ie, the guest should finish all their food and save some bread for last to scoop up anything left in the bowl, not a hard requirement but good manners). They are fully expected to accept any and all gifts offered. A guest should neither take nor ask for anything not freely given (all basic needs should have been met by the host to begin with). It IS acceptable for a guest to imply further needs in conversation, so long as they do not directly request them: ie mentioning in conversation that their leg is hurt and they can only hope their travels do not make it worse, as it would take days of rest for it to heal (“I need to stay multiple nights, can we work that out?”), or mentioning that their pack khait has gone lame and cannot carry their supplies, they fear they will have to leave both animal and supplies behind (“Will you lend me a pack ox/khait?”). These roundabout requests are still at least expected to be Truthful in nature (and all of this is happening under the watch of a deity, there may be consequences for lying).
Hosts may give extra gifts at their discretion- these can either be charitable, or indebting. A charitable gift will be given with further verbal declaration of Shiab’s peace, which establishes it as an act of goodwill and that the guest is not in the host’s debt. An indebting gift will be given with no declaration of Shiab's peace. The guest is obligated to accept either.
Indebting gifts are a part of the wider political and economic structure of the Highlands, a separate (though linked) practice to guest hospitality. The vast majority of the economy relies on trade of goods, with an additional dimension of this gift economy. Being able to give gifts is a display of wealth and power, establishing one’s family or clan above another in a social hierarchy. The most powerful are able to give the most extravagant gifts, and will have many other clans/families considered perpetually in their debt if the gift cannot be met with one of equal or greater value. This debt is immaterial- it is not actually Expected to be paid (it’s better for the gift-giver if it ISN'T), rather it establishes/reinforces one's place in a power structure and regulates the conduct of the gift receiver (it can be evoked to call in favors or settle disputes). A debt held by a single person translates to their immediate family, while a debt held by a clan matriarch/patriarch translates to their entire clan.
Cattle raiding is both a practical means of resource acquisition and a part of this wider political schema, and often figures into the gift structure. Stealing cattle and then giving them back as a gift is a power play, it declares ‘our men are better than yours (they’ve stolen the cattle successfully) and we are wealthier than you (we don’t even need them)’, while also settling the score and dissuading retaliation. Stealing cattle and then giving MORE (or different, higher quality) cattle as a gift is a massive power play, declaring much the same things to a greater extent, dissuading retaliation, AND putting the theft victim/gift recipient into the debt of the thieves.
Power structures within tribes are passively enforced by this gift giving structure- the ruling clan of each (which in practice usually controls the best agricultural land and largest herds, and is most involved in trade) will provide gifts to all clans subservient to them (and particularly generous gifts to potential rivals), keeping them indebted and lower in the social structure. Ruling clans who lose the ability to afford to give gifts, or find themselves indebted, will often be usurped (not strictly as a result of their debt, rather that losing ability to stay on top of the gift system generally occurs in conjunction with a diminished material power/wealth).
These combined practices result in very complex, often aggravating political power structures, but reduce the frequency of open conflict between clans within a tribe (which are frequently at odds), providing other avenues for power/material acquisition and for the settling of scores. Most open conflicts occur between clans within separate tribes or entire tribes (less likely to have secure power structures enforced by gift/trade), though practices of raiding and combat-sport provide some levels of tension release via less-violent score settling.
Other dimensions of the gift economy are not directly indebting (in not establishing a power structure), and considered paid via mutual partnership. Alliances between clans of different tribes are usually established in continued gift-giving (declared explicitly as gifts of allegiance), with the implied payment being mutual material support (supplying warriors, sharing grazing land, open trade, etc), which is usually reinforced with binding oaths. Marriages also involve gifts. A bride price is fairly standard (which is a straightforward payment for property and assets the wife's mother will be passing into her son-in-law's care), and a husband who cannot supply one is considered in his mother in law's debt (and may not gain full integration into the family until this is paid). But as supplement to the bride price, members of each family will freely give gifts with no expectation of the value of their gifts being matched (declared as such by being specifically described as a gift of marriage), as a means of further allying both families and a show of goodwill.
#This figures into some small backstory stuff#The time when Brakul and Janeys were lost in the wilderness and dying so badly for a couple weeks was ended when they met a#single Naid-Troibadnas man who was a known recluse + exile + generally disliked and requested Shiab's peace from him (given they#were in the process of starving to death). The dude was meticulously polite and fulfilled his obligations as a host perfectly and#also gleefully took the opportunity to shower them in indebting gifts (especially since Brakul is Bict-Urbinnas and a rival-#and Janeys was some rich south Wardi brat who had no fucking idea what was going on and it was funny)#So Janeys was like 'Wow that guy gave us an entire khait that's fucking STUPID of him lol but great!' And Brakul's just like#Well. The second or third worst guy I know owns my ass now. And yours.#The guy still regularly informs traders along the Yellowtail route that the Haidamane family is indebted to him (doesn't expect anything#to come of it he just thinks it's hilarious) to the point that it reached Janeys' father's attention and at one point he sat him down#like Son........What the FUCK did you do.#Also this cultural backdrop made Brakul initially very wary of Janeys' propensity to give him expensive gifts.#Like he got the gist that the same practices are not at play but it still made him nervous that there was some expected debt#or an attempt to establish a power structure. (It IS kind of a power play but it's just like. courtship peacocking rather than#trying to establish superiority. And also some levels of 'please don't leave me pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease')#Though over a decade in he has no such concerns and is very content to be lavished.
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Going to walk into the fucking water 🙏👍🚶➡️🌊
#going insane. cant sleep the fucking constant irregular snoring… ahut the fuck uppppp please#no peace or autonomy in the day and i can’t even rest at night. day 2 of 2 weeks 👍#earplugs do not drown it out. i can’t sleep through it. im going genuinely insane#like distress tolerance works for not like clawing my own face off out of hate#but it does feel like 2 straight weeks of keeping my hand in the Dune pain box#exactly how I prefer to spend my only time off from my phd coursework btw#seething with sublimated resentment and anger while wearing Steel Plated Happy Mask#god forbid I get to relax or have a nice time with people who like me or cook food or read in bed#nope ! just holiday hate and competitive ulcer cultivation.#not going to put my head thru a wall because i’m an adult with emotional control#but sooo awesome to get to spend the next 2 weeks exhausted and wishing I could#and then straight back into constant work. awesome. Not clawing face off. Doing awesome#btw dbt is great for some things but i do hate how it is like. aorry if your environment sucks and other people are tangibly causing you#real distress. however : it is your responsibility to absorb the impact and defuse it#Like pleeease I’ve had the best year of my liiife why is 36 hours with my parents enough to send me straight to hell#at that point I feel the problem is less my emotional regulation skill#and more that when people treat me badly or in ways i find upsetting i become naturally: Upset?#big if true. whatevwerrrr okay im just going to sit in the fucking hotel lounge and work on fic or somwthing. fine
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