#just some fun and sexy times
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tswwwit · 8 months ago
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i have a counter argument to the 'only one person can boop bill' thing, mabel. she's the type of person to slap stickers on people, she would definitely be the type to also boop others occasionally and bill would be no exception. she probably doesn't do it to annoy bill like dipper would, but maybe as a form of a friendly gesture, kind of like those people who will lightly punch friends in the arm when they hang out.
You know what? Good point. Mabel would get away with more than most, as a fun-loving lady! Bill understands those impulses, and being a touchy person! He indulges in similar ones himself.
Though when Bill's not in the mood to be playful and gets booped anyway? The 'sister-in-law' status grants her considerable grace.
#answers#Though in addition to that - Mabel's general chaos and level of Fun Times is something Bill genuinely likes#Catch these two having one too many margaritas and slinging arms over each other's shoulders while singing too loud and off key#She'd have some leeway even without the brother situation#But Mabel gets a pass on things she normally wouldn't purely on the merit of 'this would piss off the spouse'#The thing about Bill is he's genuinely fun to party with - right up until he decides you're the pinata#Even now there are times when she thinks she's doing something 'cute' and Bill was NOT in the mood but just has to grin and bear it#Instead of breaking fingers one by one#Dipper is singular in his ability to get away with Pretty Much Everything#It's love yest but it's also communication and personality I'm afraid#If Bill DID call Dipper out on doing something Too Far he'd get an embarrassed and apologetic husband. With kisses of sorry.#Though in minor circumstances: he starts arguing with him#Turns out that bickering is a better way to deescalate with Bill than most other tactics and Dipper's a pro#Now Bill's gotta think semi-rationally to Win The Argument instead of acting on impulse.#And in the process of debate he not only: learns where his husband's coming from but has time to cool off#Congratulations Dipper! Your Nerdy Logic brain and ability to Rise to a Challenge prevent Bill from going immediately nuclear#Plus showing off that big sexy intellect of yours doesn't hurt#Whereas I see Mabel pushing one of Bill's few boundaries and then deflecting. She ain't great at conflict#Brushing it off and laughing; Jeez it was just for fun!! Lighten up already!#Exactly what Bill says when HE'S being a dick to someone!#Which is why he'd react Very Badly to that excuse#Ha ha! Fun! Of course Bill loves fun! You know what HE thinks is FUN#Barbecue. Flash-fried pork ribs. Where's that stupid pig#Dipper has to disarm that particular bomb and I highly doubt it's a pleasant process
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britcision · 2 months ago
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Dungeon Meshi omegaverse headcanons because I can
1) the different human folks have different versions and different degrees but we’re gonna focus on the elves because I want to
2) afab alphas and amab omegas are just a thing that happens, it’s pretty normal and not considered worth commenting on unless you’re really insular, so while there are some sexist stereotypes (like that afab alphas are more attentive parents, although not as good as any omega) it’s not on the “male omega bad” side
It’s about 20% of the alpha/omega population (and betas make up about 60% of the human population so 8% of people total), so not hugely common but way more common than red hair and only a little less than being left handed
Some amab omegas can carry children (especially with magical assistance) and it’s actually a little easier for afab alphas to sire children, since that’s a one time output rather than a prolonged physical process
You also get things like secondary sex homosexuality (alpha-for-alpha gay, ditto omegas) which are basically ignored anyway unless someone’s fussing about bloodlines, and difficult cases like alpha-presenting-omega; an omega who reads like an alpha in scent and all other aspects except when they’re on heat
That’s hard to detect before the cycle actually starts and causes rampant excitement every time, but since alphas being with other alphas isn’t considered noteworthy except in high society, it’s also only a problem around the cycle
3) just like they don’t have sexual dimorphism, there’s no visible external differences between elves in secondary sex either
They’re more about magic than physical force, so you might be able to tell the difference based on their magical specialties (that’s how elves claim they do it but it’s bullshit they are lying)
This often confuses other folks who do; tallmen alphas are physically larger and more muscular (Falin’s an alpha) and omegas are smaller and slimmer, but all the elves are small and slim so tallmen often think they’re all omegas this is not helped by
4) almost all the Canaries are omegas; service is a doubly beneficial arrangement for noble families, who offer their children to show their loyalty just like canon… and to keep inconvenient extra bloodlines from cropping up if those extra omegas have kids
All of the wardens are omegas (except possibly Flamela; this is actually another reason why she’s not allowed into dangerous dungeons) and most of the prisoners are too, although occasionally alphas are allowed to serve
This is not considered a risk because while alphas are more aggressive, elves also consider them less capable leaders since they’re more likely to lose their heads and act rashly when riled up (like when Izutsumi was a kobold from the changelings and had to be stopped from fighting til she died) and just generally less capable, so an alpha convict with their magic bound isn’t considered a serious threat to a capable omega warden
Alphas also don’t necessarily fight to the death, since there’s all the posturing and fighting for position
Elf omegas, on the other hand, will tear your fucking throat out at the first sign of violence because if a fight gets to them it needs to be ended immediately to protect the babies
They have absolutely weaponized this against the demon and the dungeons by intentionally putting their omegas in combat situations
Alpha prisoners are usually only assigned to a single warden for the duration of their service, because they tend to get overprotective of their omega squad-mates and don’t handle personnel shifts well
5) The wardens get sterilized as part of their training, the prisoners are required to be on birth control for the duration of their service but can also request sterilization - birth control’s usually by magical implant so it’s not a huge inconvenience but listen if you want that ute yote it’s yoten
6) Heat cycles absolutely do sync up between themselves and with rut cycles, and the squads get mandatory downtime for a month on either side; luckily they’re elves so they’re on multi-annual cycles rather than seasonal
(Elves who find out how often short-lived omegas go into heat tend to react with shock and sympathy and an immediate “ooooh this is why you die so early”)
(More than one squad have accidentally maimed their alpha if they have a surprise heat)
How a squad handles group heat is up to them, suppressants are part of the basic gear, as are knotting toys, and there’s a whole industry of “heat hotels” where any human single omegas can go to ride out a heat safely either alone with toys or with vetted beta staff (on birth control) of their choosing - the Canaries semi-regularly take them over and occasionally incite orgies because while the heat demands a knot what elves accept as dominance is magical power, not position, so the strongest arcanist in a squad usually reads as an “alpha” to other humans despite their actual sexes
And since there’s no actual rules that omegas can’t hook up for a cycle at the heat house, so long as everyone arrives and agrees before they go into heat it’s a “the more the merrier” situation
They also sync up between different types of humans, but elves sync very slowly and have such long cycles almost no one notices
For no godly reason gnomes sync the fastest but they have relatively mild cycles and don’t seem to mind
Fuck it cycle table:
Dwarves - 6 month cycle - 1 week rut/heat
Elves - 2-3 year cycle - 2 weeks rut/heat
Gnomes - 4 month cycle - 5 days rut/heat
Half-foots(feet?) - 2 month cycle - 3 days rut/heat
Oni - 2 month cycle - 5 days rut/heat
Tall-men - 2 month cycle - 5-7 days rut/heat
7) Mithrun’s squad are extra goddamn protective of him because his cycle also got broken and doesn’t sync properly, but he deadass will not notice when he’s on heat and just continues as usual, while radiating pheromones. He also will not take suppressants any more than he’ll drink or eat
Luckily he also almost never actually goes onto heat, so he just vibes and trains while everyone else is on their heat break and occasionally gets impatient and starts bar fights
Lycion’s been a permanent squad member despite not being an alpha (he’s a beta but the werewolf gets a knot anyway sooooo he’s busy on heat breaks) because he can smell when Mithrun’s going onto heat ahead of time, way before anyone else can
Mithrun’s gone into heat twice since rejoining the Canaries. Cithis, Otta, and Fleki bitch about this constantly with varying degrees of envy, right up until the next time it happens out of the blue and they have to drag his dumb ass out of a dungeon because literally no one was prepared
Otta’s not even an omega she’s a beta too so she uses their heat breaks to flirt with half-foot women which is why she has enough time to date despite being a convict death squad member
(And yeah she’ll “help out” any half-foot lady omegas if they’re not actually already in heat when they arrive at a house the squad’s taken over and can hold a conversation first cuz while technically everyone else can still go through their heat alone and ignore the elves…
Well they’re loud, they’re expansive, Fleki is allergic to personal space, even in heat Cithis has enough top energy to dominate a city block, and Lycion only has one knot and will occasionally need to sleep - more than the heated omegas. They like sharing and there are no consequences provided the hotel has a room big enough)
Fleki will absolutely still use her familiar while she’s on heat and she will not remember to tell anyone she’s doing it, but since she basically just flies away until the next wave demands she get fucked again it’s not all that different from taking a nap from anyone else’s perspective
(Flying in heat is nowhere near as good as flying on shrooms but it does still beat reality)
(Everyone. Everyone has asked her if she’s fucked in the bird. Absolutely everyone. And she never specifies but makes absolutely filthy and biologically unlikely insinuations.
She absolutely did try it once. And since her familiar has genitals at her own discretion, and didn’t google bird genitals before hand, results were Mid)
Cithis has been denied access - or have had people attempt to deny her access anyway - to more than one heat house because absolutely no one who is not an elf believes she’s not an alpha without proof
All the elves have Elf Twink Disease so their alphas aren’t buff and macho anyway and everyone knows it, so her sheer Step On Me Please energy has gotten the whole squad into trouble
(She blatantly refuses to do anything about this and will often make the situation worse for fun or profit until Mithrun tells her to stop)
8) half elves like Marcille have the extremely exciting and unfortunate bonus of potentially being crosses in secondary sex too, just like the non-linear aging - something about the long-lived/shorter-lived magic combo and the elves’ own permutations in particular mean that other human-alpha and elf-beta/omega sometimes happen on the same gene, and other human-omega and elf-beta/alpha is also more likely than elf-alpha and other human-alpha coming together
Some half elves get lucky and get double beta, Marcille did not and got beta-omega (which is at least easier than alpha-omega, the rarest combo but hey if you’re flexible or magically inclined with that one you can kinda just go fuck yourself)
This is why she gets super over-protective of the people she cares about (see: get back in the kitchen while I take over the world), but doesn’t really have any kind of self preservation instincts or a desire not to run face first into danger and explode it
She’s never had a heat cycle and if she’s lucky she might never get one, so long as the beta side stays dominant
But Falin’s an alpha and possibly the person who activated Marcille’s omega side to get that over-protectiveness in the first place, so if (when) they do mate Marcille is gonna learn some fun and exciting things about her body
(Toshiro’s an omega, but his family insisted on raising him like an alpha anyway because Oldest Son. Falin was the one to actually tell him he was an omega, because Maizuru was ordered not to
This is part of why he’s so incredibly jealous of Laios, who is an actual alpha as well as autistic as hell, so Shuro’s not only jealous of his complete disregard for social rules, he’s also exceedingly jealous that all of the “alpha” stuff he has to work incredibly hard to fake comes to Laios completely naturally
Laios had no idea Shuro was an omega at all (possibly Nakamoto family scent blockers, possibly Laios Not Paying Attention) and has actually been idolizing Shuro as the Manliest Best Alpha To Ever Alpha - like all them flashbacks of Shuro standing between downed Laios and danger
Maybe Laios doesn’t find out until after Falin’s revived successfully. It blows his mind. Toshiro weeps in frustration.)
9) fuck it it’s official, alpha Flamela, that’s why her twin was taken (twin was an omega, elves still think alphas are too impulsive and hot headed to rule) and Flamela wasn’t stopped from running off to join the Canaries
They did try to skip the sterilizing step with her, cuz while the coal black skin definitively doesn’t reliably pass from parent to child there’s still a chance her kids would have better odds of inheriting it
Flamela lost her shit when she found out she was being treated differently from other wardens (doing other elven alphas absolutely no favours about that “too impulsive” thing because she genuinely didn’t even notice that what was happening was that she wasn’t being given invasive and permanently life altering often nonconsensual surgery) and threatened to do it to herself if they wouldn’t do her
Someone suggested they fake it, put her under, make the cut, leave everything alone so she just got a scar, someone else pointed out she might be slightly less knife happy afterwards, the smartest person in the room pointed out she would be Exceedingly Fucking Knife Happy if she ever found out and possibly kill them all
She was sterilised at her own insistence but her genetic materials (eggs and sperm why not) were stored rather than discarded in case she changes her mind
This has also alienated her from the other wardens because not only is she the only one who actually volunteered to be a Canary, she volunteered for the whole thing and genuinely doesn’t get why any of them are unhappy about it
Rut isn’t all that fun and she doesn’t think heat sounds good either, since her default position with people is distrust and keeping them at arm’s length, so she always rides hers out alone and assumes others will too - but both sound way way way better to her than having to carry or raise a child
She’s not cruel or aggressive about it but she’s about as tactful as a rhinoceros and just gets loudly confused, so it’s not worth trying to confide in her or bond over the extra level of being discarded by their families
(And since she hates gossip and will aggressively curtail it, she only finds out what anyone else on her squad does for heat if she actually has to help arrange it)
She was so offended to find out she’d still have rut cycles after surgery. The one thing absolutely every other warden can agree with her on
Most elf alphas are actually significantly more level headed and stable than Flamela, she still has her entirely independent emotional baggage but she is what all the elven stereotypes say an alpha is
There’s some real world racist bs about Black women and especially darker skinned Black women being less feminine, but it’s bullshit and fuck that it’s illegal here, alpha women are just a thing that happens and it has nothing to do with gender
Flamela’s not especially feminine either by elf standards, but that’s her decision and she is beauty, she is grace, she will stab you in the face and you’d deserve it if you commented
10) communication pixies are affected by their maker’s heat, but not by getting anything similar themselves; it’s an intentional part of the spell, the pixie gets all sleepy and “drunk” and will not connect any calls without a specific code word, because absolutely no one wanted heat-sex pixie butt dials
This isn’t just an elf thing but it is in the elf-magic version of the spell; if you make a pixie with gnome-magic instead there’s a 75% chance it will also go dozy during your heat buuuuut a 25% chance it just keeps going as normal
General consensus is that the ephemeral will of magic either can’t tell when humans go into heat or considers the occasional magic butt dial necessary to the balance of the universe
A lot of older gnomes just plain don’t care about any of it and think it’s a bit funny when anyone else makes such a big fuss, since it’s just another part of life
(If Falin ever makes a pixie you KNOW it stays active during her rut you KNOW Marcille gets a butt dial dear gods is this how the Farcille confession happens in this AU)
11) orcs and kobolds don’t actually have secondary sexes by dint of not being human (wrong number of bones) and tend to consider the whole thing a little weird, but not their problem
Some orcs suspect the whole alpha-omega thing is why humans get violently territorial for basically no reason, and the sympathetic ones tend to be very gentle with someone once they learn they’re an alpha or omega
Big “oh you poor thing that sounds so difficult, let’s make sure you don’t get over excited” energy
———
I’ll add more later if I come up with anything else, but by all means hop into my sand box and play with anything you like!
A bunch of other characters and their alignments in no particular order:
Kabru - beta, but one of his only decent spells is to fake either alpha or omega pheromones at will. He’ll play any of the roles to get what he wants and what he thinks will serve him best
(He almost always plays omega with elves because 1) they don’t respect alphas the way most other humans do and 2) they’re gonna read him as a child anyway, so having specific “adult” pheromones might occasionally sway them to respect him a little more, but they’re also more likely to subconsciously protect him
He tried alpha on Mithrun when they were alone in the dungeon for all of 15 minutes before determining Mithrun couldn’t tell the difference
(Mithrun could he just doesn’t care))
Namari - alpha, works well with usually being the party tank, but as a dwarf her instincts are more “provide for needs” than “fight off enemies” which is why she loves armour and wants other people to wear it
Senshi - omega, he’s going to see the babies fed by any means necessary (but yeah it’s part of why his mining crew didn’t let him fight the griffin, he hadn’t fully hit his second puberty but they Had Suspicions)
However, since he lived alone most of his life (and was surrounded by alphas before that) he presents almost entirely as an alpha, and unless he hits heat no non-dwarfs will ever notice he isn’t
There’s not a huge difference between dwarf alpha, beta, and omegas anyway, but the alphas tend more towards crafts and making or procuring physical items to see to their loved ones’ needs while the omegas are more focused on acts of service
(Physically they’re just all Like That, like the elves)
Every dwarf who has ever met Senshi clocked him as an alpha in the first five minutes, and clocked him equally hard as an omega ten minutes later and had some mild cognitive dissonance. None of them mention it because that’s Rude
Izutsumi - alpha cat, hates you all
Chilchuck - tallest skinniest half foot omega you ever did see. Has adopted his entire union since he doesn’t see his girls anymore. His wife was a beta and the only reason she got them in the “divorce” was the girls had already moved out
(She moved in with Puckpatti)
Chilchuck is constantly low-grade losing his shit about it
Maizuru - omega, deeply dislikes how Toshiro’s father has treated him and does genuinely believe deep down that an omega like Toshiro might be a better leader specifically because he’s more empathic and considerate than their society’s demanded alpha behaviour
She will be miffed to be told the elves agree with her though
Rin - beta, accidentally presents as an omega because she picked it up in self defence while living with the elves. She does not like it but she does tend to keep herself closed off, avoid skin contact, and comes off as trying too hard not to seem meek, so people with opinions on strangers’ sexes assume she’s an omega who escaped a bad situation
(They’re not fully wrong, she hates that they’re not)
Kaka and Kiki - Kaka’s an omega, Kiki’s a beta but she intentionally presents as an alpha to keep anyone from noticing or saying shit about her brother
If she’s loud and noticeable, they won’t wonder why he’s shyer and quiet
(Kaka 1000% imprinted on Namari the first time she saved his life she is his big strong alpha he is a helpless fucking puppy so even though he’s self conscious about his height he can’t help wanting her to like his legs
Unfortunately for him Namari’s gay as hell and Kiki’s extremely into her as well and he wants his twin to be happy so he’ll be pining forever and make do with a familial alpha bond)
(Namari will never know she coulda had her pick)
Mikbell - beta cuck and a scab
Holm - the only actual alpha on Kabru’s team, has definitely noticed him switching up the pheromones and he mostly doesn’t care, he thinks that secondary-sex-fluidity is actually a really good quality in a leader (it shows he respects all of them and acknowledges the strengths they all have)
But when it comes to his sister Nope Nope Nope buster don’t you dare seduce her with some mocked up alpha juice
His sister is also an alpha but she’s alpha-for-alpha gay and gender bisexual and he’s not having it
Daya - omega, but prefers to present as an alpha because she’s actually just not that comfortable with the stereotypical omega “role”
(Again for dwarves, it’s mostly “will do caretaking” over “will procure necessary items”, but her birth clan were heavy traditionalists who considered an omega’s primary job to be “be pregnant” so she’s tossed the whole situation)
(Her partner is an alpha and oh boy did he have to work to prove he was nothing like the boys back home. He’s fully happy to be the caretaker while she brings home the bacon and she loves him for that
Most dwarves will assume he’s the omega unless told otherwise, and they’re both very comfortable with that on the extremely rare occasion that it comes up since Island dwarves usually don’t care anyway)
Kuro - kobold, not his problem, but oh boy he’s adopted Mikbell as his puppy and is gonna do his best taking care of this man
He’s fully aware Mik’s a mature adult (despite how often he pretends to be a kid to fuck with people), he can smell his pheromones, he just believes Mikbell needs a father or at least older brother figure to guide him more than just a buddy
(He and Kabru also suspect Mik might be into non sexual (probably?) age play, since he claims he acts like a kid to fuck over assholes who assume half-foots can’t be real adults, but he does it A Lot and with joy and fervour)
(Mikbell can never learn this)
Grandpa Tansu - cranky lil alpha gnome
Granny Floke - also a lil alpha gnome, they’re also alpha-for-alpha gay, but she likes watching her husband get all loud and up in arms so she doesn’t bother getting involved much
(Full Madame Giry from the good Phantom of the Opera productions, she only has to say one word to put her foot down but she actually is a nice smiling little old lady… which makes it scarier when she does it)
Tade - alpha oni, but in oni omegas and afabs are actually much bigger so she’s still pretty small for an oni (bigger than amab alphas though)
This does tend to confuse pretty much everyone else but those little buggers come out BIG and HORNED and it’s just better all around to have more space for the lil niblets
This is why Marcille’s oni form was head and shoulders too big to be seen standing next to her party she’d’ve been around a foot and a half taller than Tade because I said so
Thistle - oh the saddest most broken lil elf omega, he was in a bad way before Delgal’s dad died and then when Delgal did the “only you can save us we’re all gonna die” Thistle reverse-pioneered the Canaries by going into omega-murder-mode so hard he dungeoned an entire kingdom
And since there was not a single alpha older than him anywhere to be found he just never got to turn that off (if only someone scruffed the little bastard idk if that’s an omegaverse thing but the imagery is peak)
Imma headcanon he never actually had a cycle by dint of not finishing elf-puberty before he went Kingdom In A Bottle and stopped aging but honestly any flavour of fuckery and whenever you think he stopped aging is all good
(Since not only was Yaad born post dungeon, he grew to young adulthood and other people did age, they just didn’t die, so aging was for sure happening for like 20 years post dive)
Winged Lion - the alpha and the omega solely for the joke
If you can think of anyone else or if you have any questions lemme know and I’ll spin something off the dome for ya! (This totally wasn’t prompted by me nearly having the first full chapter of. Something. Ready to go. 👀)
If anyone else wants to chop and screw with any bits of this for any reason go wild and all I ask is a tag in because I like free candy as much as anyone else. Despite Farcille commentary it’s technically ship agnostic because honestly that’s the least interesting part of an omegaverse AU for me I’m here to get weird with sex and gender roles and cultural variance
I haven’t actually played in this sand pit much before so we can all thank/blame Omega Jason Todd week for finally tipping my interest over by giving me new levels of fuckery, we stan a 6’ omega built like a tank
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#omegaverse#dungeon meshi omegaverse#omega mithrun owns my ass#and not gonna lie so does alpha flamela 90% because their dynamic is already so fucked#and adding a layer of ‘mithrun could not care less about his heat but flamela will fucking die before she goes on rut on the same continent’#leading to some ‘flamela violently forcing mithrun into a hazmat suit the SECOND anyone (lycion) even HINTS he might go on heat cuz Hell No’#with a dash of mithrun’s convicts being horrible little bastards about it for fun and profit#flamela running around to a) find the heated omega who is in danger (wandered off) and b) carry him back to his nest in The Longest Tongs#just so she can’t possibly smell him and have an extra rut#is pretty much the entire first chapter of The Least Sexy Heat Fic Of All Time#but i’m having a wonderful time with it#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#elves are fucked up#and it makes them more fun#omega mithrun#alpha laios#alpha falin#beta kabru who Will Never Let Anyone Know cuz he’s having too much fun faking and switching pheromones#cuz sure he could be an alpha that’s the formula for these situations but No You Don’t Get It it’s so much funnier if he isn’t#cuz he works so hard to convince himself and everyone else he’s the perfect leader#an alpha with self confidence could never#also fuck you he gets alpha-omega-genderfluid vibes because i say so#we inventing all sorts of new directions to be queer in everybody’s getting at least one
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brutal-nemesis · 6 months ago
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big question!! dude can we please see a scene in the AU where castys has his tongue cut off and he has to deal with that? like man, the shock and the pain and the fuckin grief? and neteri just being herself ofc
anyway the latest erebus chapter was heartbreaking you’re so good at being awful to these lads (i can’t stop reading)
Thank you I try,,,,,
Okay strap in fellas I think this is banger as hell I had a great time and let me know if you have any other requests for the AU!
Castys & Terror AU Masterlist - Castys Masterlist - Next→
Ingredients: shockingly, tongue gets cut off! some suffocation as well
Castys wasn’t great at sitting in chairs normally, something his parents had always reprimanded him for, but, hey, they’d never taken it as far as to fucking tie him to one, and Castys was grateful. This shit was uncomfortable. Like, yeah, the rough ropes around his wrists and ankles were tight and itchy, but also the position just sucked. Not that he’d rather be standing or something-
“You must be Castys!” The door had swung open, and now this little lady with a white coat on was walking up to him. 
“Yes, I’m Castys,” he said flatly as she scurried behind him before coming back without her bag. And then she just…stared at him. Castys wasn’t sure what she was looking at, since there really wasn’t much to see, just, like, him. Eventually her eyes wandered up to his, and she jumped in place a bit.
“Oh, right, I’m Neteri.” She stuck her hand out like she expected him to shake it.
“You know I’m tied up, right?”
“Ah. Yeah.” Her skin was dark enough that it wasn’t immediately obvious that she was blushing, but Castys was pretty sure she was. She ended up awkwardly grabbing his right hand and shaking it a bit. “I, um, I’ll be preparing you for this afternoon. Sorry, I’m just a bit nervous.”
“Well, you’re not tied to a chair so I think you’ll be okay.”
She laughed. “You’re right, you’re right, but I’m just…I think I’m going to do something I’m not supposed to do.”
Castys raised an eyebrow. “Let me go because I’m funny?”
Neteri rolled her eyes, but she was smiling, so clearly she did think he was funny. “No, you’re staying put, sorry bud. But I think I’m going to keep you. You’re kind of perfect.” She tried to cup his cheek in her hand, but Castys leaned away, staring at her with wide eyes.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” His mouth was really dry all of a sudden, he wasn’t perfect, he was a fuck-up, a useless heir, that had been his goal, he wasn’t good at anything he was supposed to be good at, he wasn’t well-mannered or polite, he had a huge fucking scar on his face and a lopsided smile because of it, he was filthy and vulgar and didn’t have any interest in getting married he was absolutely anything but perfect. So why the hell did she want him?
“It’s not important right now. You’ve got a big day ahead of you!” She clapped her hands, dismissing the subject entirely. He wanted to press her further, but after seeing the lovely object she pulled out of her pocket, everything else was forgotten.
“No. Absolutely not.”
“Aw, what are you gonna do about it, Castys? I thought you were tied to a chair!” Great, now it was his turn to feel his face grow hot, because, yeah, what the fuck was he gonna do?
Normally, he doubted he’d immediately recognize it for what it was, but today, right now, after just being told this lady wanted to keep him, it was instantly clear. And Neteri was right, he was only able to squirm uselessly and lean away as she wrapped the collar around his neck without much trouble. His first swallow after she’d sealed it shut felt horrible, and he absolutely did not want to get used to it.
“See, it’s not so bad. It looks cute on you!” She ruffled his hair, which only made Castys more uncomfortable.
“I don’t want to be cute. I’m not a fucking dog.” He wasn’t sure whether the collar was part of Neteri’s weird desires or just to humiliate him, but either way he hated it.
“No, you’re not, but you’re also not a prince anymore, and you’re the property of the Xernan Empire, and this is a good reminder of that,” Neteri said as she walked around behind him, probably to her bag. Castys rolled his eyes. He didn’t need to be reminded that he wasn’t a prince, since it was his favorite new development in all of this. Unless…unless it wasn’t just a reminder for him, but for everyone else, too…He really, really hoped there wasn’t going to be some sort of public display, but given how Neteri’d said he had a “big day” ahead…fuck, that was probably the case, huh?
“Now, I’m going to…oh, I might get in so much trouble for this,” Neteri muttered as she stared at the floor, standing in front of him once again. She had leather gloves on, which would have been nice earlier when she was touching him, and she was holding…a pair of shears? He didn’t think she’d put on gloves if she was just going to cut his hair, and given that she thought she might get in trouble for it, it seemed like she was going to…maim him somehow. Castys curled his hands into fists as Neteri slapped her cheeks with her palms, still talking to herself. “No, I’m going to do this. I deserve it. It’s not that far off from what the emperor wants. Okay,” she held the shears up and gave Castys a concerningly bright smile. “Any last words?”
For once, Castys didn’t take the opportunity to speak.
Instead, he locked his jaw shut tight, teeth clenched so hard it hurt, lips pressed together, walls of protection around his tongue. 
That’s what she wanted, wasn’t it?
Neteri cocked her head, watching him. “Nothing to say all of a sudden? No jokes?” Her smile disappeared as her eyes narrowed. “You figured it out, didn’t you, Castys? What I’m going to do to you.”
He didn’t bother nodding.
Neteri stepped up to him, her knee on the chair in between his legs, leaning over him, her face right above his as he craned back to avoid her. “You’re going to have to get used to obeying me, Castys.” The cold metal of the shears rested on his cheek. “So open your mouth.”
If there’s one thing Castys was good at, it was disobeying orders.
After a few moments of neither of them moving, Neteri pinched Castys’s nose shut with her free hand, not saying a word. Fine, he could play that game. Hold on as the pressure in his chest built, as his head started to spin, as his vision started to darken, every fiber of his being screaming at him to just give in to the inevitable and take a breath. He could do it quick, a little gasp, fast enough that she wouldn’t be able to do anything. Okay, three, two…
The exhale was shaky, but it was fine, just a quick inhale as he snapped his mouth shut-
His teeth scraped against metal, the sensation sending shivers down his spine.
Neteri stared at him with a detached coldness as she rotated the shears, forcing his jaw open wide, wide enough for her to stick her hand in and grab his tongue, pulling it out despite his attempts to pull it back, turning the shears to the side now, opening them up, the cold blades-
Snip.
Castys’s mouth was hot it was burning he was choking the smell of blood was so strong he was suffocating on it her hand was still in his mouth her fingers pressed against his wound magic piercing through his jaw he’d scream if he had the air and then that was it her hand was gone he lurched forward coughing and spitting blood and saliva all down the front of the threadbare shirt he’d been given and once he saw the discarded little piece of pink flesh on the floor he couldn’t look at anything else he couldn’t believe that was it it was gone it wasn’t in his mouth his mouth was empty there was only the blood still dripping out and when Neteri laid a hand on his back he wanted to growl at her not to touch him but he couldn’t he couldn’t say anything anymore he was quiet nothing to say no thoughts or opinions of his own just how his parents had wanted him-
“It’s alright, Castys, just breathe. It was a little more difficult than it needed to be, but you did it.” And why did it need to be at all? “Just two more things left today and then you can rest. And then hopefully…” Her hand slid up, resting on the back of his neck, on that awful collar, and Castys wanted to scream. He never, ever wanted to belong to her.
But what he wanted didn’t matter anymore.
Castys was dragged out and whipped and branded and left out on display, brought back and patched up by Neteri and given soup that he couldn’t taste, and when the door slammed shut behind her, he finally allowed himself to cry.
His back and chest hurt, of course, the wounds aggravated no matter how he moved or what position he laid in, but he could deal with it. It was nothing compared to what he’d lost, the little pocket of empty space inside his mouth.
Words were all he’d ever have to really fight back, complaining when he was forced to do things he didn’t want to, scaring off all the suitors his parents picked out, jokes keeping him calm when he was scared or upset, even when he couldn’t do anything he could still say something, make sure everyone knew how he felt, and now he was more helpless than ever before and he couldn’t say a single fucking thing. 
He didn’t even know where he was going to end up, either sold off to some asshole or left in Neteri’s clutches, and no matter what, he wasn’t going to be treated like a person. The collar made it pretty clear. He was less than human now, a pet, a lab rat, property, something that didn’t need to have thoughts or opinions anymore. 
He’d rather be a prince after all.
Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump​ @blackrosesandwhump​ @fanmanga1357-blog​​ @thehopelessopus​ @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi
@hearse-song​ @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen​​ @galaxywhump 
@starnight-whump​ @his-unspoken-words​ @misspelledwitch @suspicious-whumping-egg​ @pumpkin-spice-whump​ 
@painsandconfusion @i-can-even-burn-salad @befuddled-calico-whump​ @whumpinggrounds​ @whump-queen​
@whumpedydump
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swordmaid · 5 months ago
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anyway shri’iia’s epilogue outfit which is a mix of 1900s male stage costumes and also that one camp outfit mod. look at the ring hehe 🤭
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#it’s so whimsical I love it ….. the silhouette is based on the stage costumes#where they have like the cinched waist poofy bottoms and then stockings#but in her case it’s boots but she’s wearing these particular boots that I think fits with the whimsy elements the fit has#and the top is like a reconstructed coat but off the shoulders with the poofy sleeves bc I want to give her that rapunzel / tangled vibe#since her backstory was inspired by rapunzel ofc …!!!!#and it still has that sexy element drow fits are known to have … but this one isn’t like outright naked sexy it’s more of a teasing kind#which fits her..!! like this is her whole personality turned into an outfit I really like it 🤭🤭🤭🤭#and it’s the personality that she slowly regains when she becomes more genuine … and she’s finding herself more (via the oathbreaking route#unlike before the clothes she wore were like costumes bc she’s trying to project a certain image. now it’s her actual authentic self#character building through fashion and wear? maybe so!#as for the stage inspo I think her own style would lean that way bc a) she prob has been influenced by astarion who I think has a more#theatrical style and since she’s new to the fashion in the surface she’ll probably ask him a lot#b) it’s a whimsical style!! and fun!! very bard like tbh but I think that’s what she’ll end up liking. it’s different from the tight#fitting/see through/sleek outfits that drow fashion favours and I think she’ll want to experiment w a different style than she’s used to#and also as for the ring. it’s a promise ring hehehe I talked abt it before but I like the idea that at some point they give each other#promise rings bc marriage!!! or anything of the sort!!! feels too big and too daunting currently and they’re probably taking it slow like#they’re elves they have all the time in the world quite literally for him he’s a vampire but I like the idea they have something that#reminds them or gives them that possibility of like something more 👁️ and the promise rings are just that. also they probably stole the#rings or looted it off a dead body somewhere lmfao#anyway…… Some Thoughts. !
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call-me-pup2 · 29 days ago
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If I could stop having wild dreams that would be great. Part of my dream last night I was being chased by a bear and had to climb fences and sheds running through folks gardens. I've been dreaming like this for a week now and I keep waking up feeling like there was literally no point in sleeping 🥴
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simplykorra · 2 years ago
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be my lover don’t play no game - chapter four
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“Is this your usual route with women you’re sleeping with? Take them to every restaurant chain in the city?”
With a shrug, Ava says something to the hostess (not a maitre-d, she looked it up) and they follow her to a table in the back.
If nothing else, it is slightly more personable than TGI Friday’s. The table they're sitting in is actually a bit enclosed - with vanity separates surrounding their spot (with dragons designed in them of course) and a fancy little chandelier hangs down over their table.
“Women, men, you know, whatever works.”
Beatrice picks up her menu, but keeps her focus on Ava. “Ah, so you cast a wide net then?”
Ava nods. “Absolutely, I feel like I hit the jackpot with sexuality. My cup runneth over - or whatever that saying is.”
“You’ve got the gist of it.”
“So what about you?” Ava asks, not even bothering with her menu. At this point Beatrice is convinced Ava just circles chain restaurants seven days a week.
It strikes her as almost humorous how casual the question is dropped - when at one time it would have shut her down for hours. “Lesbian, formerly severely repressed.”
“Ooh that’s a fun time, huh?”
“You’ve no idea.” Beatrice smiles, opening her menu. “I have a difficult time imagining you repressing anything.”
“You’re not wrong, I suppose.” Ava laughs, it’s so damned infectious. “I was more…explorative, I guess. I had a bit of a late start on the whole ‘sexuality’ thing, figuring out what I was into, so when I had the chance I really dove in head first. Not like…literally head first, well okay I did give head first, but like…nevermind” She picks up her water glass, holding it to her lips. “College Ava was…a lot.”
The urge to tell her that current Ava is still quite a bit to take in is there, but the way Ava sips on her drink and keeps one eye on her tells Beatrice she’s almost expecting that - so Beatrice decides to pivot. “Where did you study?”
CONT ON AO3
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venusinsilk · 3 months ago
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One thing that my bestie pointed out to me tonight that disgusted me and made me immediately recoil- my behavior has been changing because of the Boy and whether or not he engages with me, and my mood is hinged on whether or not he gives me attention. 🤮 ewwwww!!! Cut that out right now!! Of course it's normal and fine but I don't need that! Especially right now, post breakup, my life is a mess. The sex was amazing but I need to start detaching myself from him because he changed SO MUCH in the past 4 weeks. He played a looooong game to get to me. Bought pastries from me twice in the past year, sent me messages every day, got his tattoos at a shop in my neighborhood, asked me out, and now he barely talks to me. Which is so bizarre. But maybe he believes he can kick back and stop trying because he thinks I've fallen to my knees for him? I really can't try to decipher his behavior nor do I want to. He is pretty immature (hence "the Boy") and if he wasn't so talented in bed I would've stopped engaging with him from the first time we hung out.
Due to my apartment ceiling caving in, I'm couch surfing. He knows this and offered to get us a hotel room this weekend. This is a final chance to see if he can do something an adult man would do, and follow through with a plan. If he doesn't, I'm going to tell him he disappointed me and I don't have space for that right now in my very busy, very stressful life. So he won't be coming back to my apartment after the ceiling is fixed.... and I guess I'll never be invited over to his place because he lives with his parents! Oops 😬 🤭
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another weekend, another job rejection!
#and now no more positions are open to apply to! for now at least. some more will probably drop soon. fuck i hope so.#love just. being fucking unable to even make it into the interview phase for my extraordinarily lofty career goal#Of Working In A Fucking Library#just. so thrilled.#kazoo noises#anyway tomorrow morning i have to find a time to talk to my rabbis bc if i dont figure shit out i have to pick between becoming jewish or#graduating on time and i have fucking NO ONE i can talk to this about and ive used up like all of my good will in all of my personal#relationships already and i am So Fucking Sick of feeling mean and petty and evil all the time but my options are either fucking smile and#be noticeably fake optimistic when i get called on my bullshit or burn like all three of my last remaining bridges#i just dont see why i cant even make it to interviews. like i can accept not being the right fit or whatever. but like. it really kinda is#everyone but me whos employed by now.#man. like listen. its not my professors fault. i get that i've got her in a bad position.#but she said ''sometimes we have to pick between sources of joy'' like MAN--#do NOT speak to me about that. absolutely the FUCK not.#you! are employed and have been in this field for over a decade and i work in a grocery store with no sign of luck changing.#i need to be in this section bc 1) im not fucking doing academia with a gun pulled on me#2) i need to actually get some kind of professional experience since its clear i can't actually get a job on merit so i guess i will pay to#go further into debt#anyway no one is around to talk to me about this and i hate bitching to my friends about how fucking hopeless i feel all the fucking time s#everyone please look away from my diary posting and think of me as sexy and fun and bubbly <3333#like. its literally no ones fault so i should not be this fucking resentful.#and yet.#yeah im probably not getting classed as a good person for another several years. shame. ive always wanted to be good.#library travails
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discocandles · 3 months ago
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i'm of the opinion you can't diss megan thee stallion in a way that matters
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gaybearwedding · 1 year ago
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if i had a nickel for every play it by ear episode where two or more of the cast members pantomime having sex with each other, i would have three nickels. which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened three times
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faytelumos · 2 years ago
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I have the biggest craving for PennyWaynes content.
There really isn't enough of it out there.
I don't even think AO3 has a PennyWaynes tag.
We're being robbed.
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b1ttrsweet · 3 days ago
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*kicking dirt* i wish people would allow them selves to be completely and totally Unironically into things
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nixie-deangel · 12 days ago
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🤠 + 👀 please!
🤠 music producer Bradley x rancher Jake
They had to be. It was the only explanation he could come up with that made sense. But fuck, Bradley thought as he shuffled awkwardly over towards him, what a way to go.
👀 B&B, Celebrity Bradley, handyman Jake
Chuckling, Javy gave a little shrug as they climbed into the cab of the truck. “Mostly by accident really. Went into the city with mama and Sandy for, fuck, something. I think it was shopping for our prom outfits and got scouted by someone by complete accident.”
Make Nixie Write!
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puthyflapps · 2 years ago
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Not them dying to bring Sarah back and absolutely hating their characters current plotlines 🫣🫢🤭
Carmen De La Pica Morales stans rise!
#marja Ryan Lewis and that writers room need to be cleared out#bring back Ilene chaiken and let her take a sledge hammer to this show because they’re ruining the shows legacy#was the original a little messy? Yeth but Ilene knew how to have a good time!! the show was funny and it was fun to watch and for the most#part the plot made sense AND MOST IMPORTANTLY we got to see women loving women on screen#I think MRL wanted a show where she got to write about all kinds of queer people but she couldn’t do it so she took TLW and basically piggy#backed off the name and legacy of the original show#obviously more queer stories should be told BUT TLW is supposed to be about lesbians and it’s like pulling teeth to get them to show 2#ladies kissing like why can’t we have a sexy fun time????#and not to sound like an old fart but showrunners and writers nowadays ig think that they have to inject politics into everything and I hate#when gen q tries to broach these topics because I’m not here to learn about theory bitch I’m here to see these gals get their puthies ate#the original definitely had moments that were a little political but it never tried to center that – they just wanted to show the lives of#lesbians the way that str8 shows depicted the lives of str8 people and I loved that#moral of the story: if they want a s4 they need to kick some people to the mf curb and get back to what made the original so fun and special#and obviously as I always say: BRING CARMEN BACK YOU COWARDS!!!!#the l word#the l word gen q#kate moennig#leisha hailey#sarah shahi#sharmen#shane x carmen#pants podcast
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nanowired-lover · 11 months ago
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im pretty sure some transmasc ppl can relate and said already but i want my gender to be ''male crossdressing presenting''. I want ppl to look at me and be lile ''this is a GUY, a MAN, a DUDE and he wears things like a woman but when he tells you he's a guy you know he is." I want to look hyper fem and hyper masc. I want to change between a bubbly emotional lil angry dude and your sweet tranvestite.
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mariatesstruther · 11 months ago
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okay hear me out modern au where Tommy and Maria first meet in a club in their 20s and they bump into each other while dancing and just start dancing together and they just hit it off but in the end they both forget to give each other their numbers so both of them go back to the same club the next week to hopefully meet each other again (also Tess and Maria definitely go clubbing together because I love them as best friends)
cowboy!!!! yes yes YES i LOVE this. and u could extend this meet-cute into like a whole thing where tommy and maria keep trying to meet at the club and exchange information, but something gets in the way everytime!!!! kid emergency!!! bar fight!!! cocaine bear on the loose!!! zombie apocalypse—who knows????
im thinking the first time, tess drags maria to a bar she likes because she’s been trying to get the attention of this hot dilfy guy at the bar, but he’s always tailing along with his friend. by tess’s design, maria and tommy meet and and hit it off and dance (to maria maria by santana) the night away. they fall in love and decide they want to go home together, so maria goes to the bathroom—but joel randomly comes up and is like “tommy, hey sorry selena’s mom called, sarah had a nightmare and she wants us both to pick her up, we gotta go” and in true miller dad-uncle panic they BOLT. by the time maria comes back, tess is like “idk dude, mine got a call so they had to go. seemed like an emergency. bummer” and they assume thats that
on the flip side: everythings okay with sarah, but after tommy and joel tuck her in tommy’s suddenly just like “fuck—fuck!!!!!” and joels like “what? what???” and he’s like “i didn’t get her number :(:(:(:( fuck” and so joel’s like “it’s okay, i see her friend there all the time” and so tommy’s like “omg :D do you have her friends number?” “well… no” “joel… what the fuck man.” so they make a plan to go back next week with the hopes of at least seeing tess and getting maria’s number from there—tommy also wants to get tess’s number for joel, but he doesn’t need to know that
little do THEY know, tess and maria are already plotting for next weekend. they show up to that bar looking fine as FUCK—they quite literally turn heads walking through the door. of course the miller brothers are there, sitting in a booth all the way in the back and waiting, making eyes. tess and maria are not shy, so they start making their way over. unfortunately, some drunk asshole decides to try to get handsy with tess on her way there—which results in her punching him in the face, which results in him trying to punch her in the face. she dodges, of course, but it starts a full-on bar brawl that the miller boys jump into without hesitation (joel manages to tackle and land a few good ones on og drunk asshole too so. slay.). none of them get arrested or anything, but they definitely don’t get eachother numbers on account of joel and tommy having to duck the cops
so i guess they gotta keep trying ;)
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