#just remember that your content creators are people too with lives who take time to create

[suni-writings]

Running out of time.

jude bellingham x fem!reader

When two people who didn't know how to love met at the perfect timing to ruin each other.

part 2 | part 3

wc: 2.3k

(content warning: angst, troubled relationships, situationship)

“I can't do this anymore.”

The words escaped her lips before even she could fully process them. It was almost a whisper — a sign of utter defeat, of how much she had struggled and how much she could not take another second of being with him. There was no amount of affection that could mend what the situation had done to her, no amount of luck that could change their fate and, most definitely, no amount of effort he could have shown at that moment that would make her change her mind. It was too late for anything.

If he had listened to her attempts of communication, if he did not dismiss her feelings, if he took her more seriously… A series of ifs that only involved things he could have done.

She had tried to stay with him as long as she could, even if she felt, from the start, that she was doomed from the second her heart beat a little faster at the thought of him. After all, who would hate themselves enough to fall for Jude Bellingham, knowing his reputation, knowing the amount of women he had around on their knees, knowing him?

She thought she knew him, she really did. At least, better than others. They had met at a strange moment in their lives, where a relationship would never fit. That was never what they wanted.

Jude had recently gotten out of a relationship, whereas she was avoiding any sort of relationship for more than a year. Each one had their motivations, and one thing was clear: no relationship was a rule.

So, she didn’t mean to when she realized she was falling for him. In fact, it was nerve-wrecking — constantly beating herself up and trying to smack some sense into her own head; anything that would bring her back to reality. And like that, without knowing her feelings were reciprocated, she created a distance between them, leaving room only for her anxiety.

As her sorrow eyes met his desperate ones, she remembered. Flashes of how they ended up like that flooding into her head without her permission.

“So,” Jude said once. They were at her place — something they used to do quite often. He didn’t like bringing attention to himself and he wasn’t one to take any woman to his place, considering how the press could be if someone saw.

She didn’t know much about Jude. All she knew was that he was a good kisser, a nice company and someone that would provide her aftercare. She couldn’t ask for much more than that.

But one thing she did know — he was confident. Not that she wasn’t, but he was cocky. And, judging by the way he nervously held his thumb, she knew something wasn’t right.

“So?” She asked, tilting her head, looking at him gently.

“I—” he gulped and let out a nervous chuckle. “Look, don’t get me wrong. I know we said it was only a casual thing, but I’ve always been a man that liked, you know, talking to more than one woman.”

She nodded, furrowing her eyebrows, trying to predict what he was going to say. 

“What I want to say is—” he took a deep breath. “I don’t feel like talking to any other woman but you. I haven’t, actually, since this whole arrangement started. I know it’s only been a month, but—”

She laughed and he raised her eyebrows. She held his hand with an affection she hadn’t shown yet.

“Jude, it’s okay. I haven’t been with anyone else or even did as much as looking at anyone else ever since I’ve been with you,” she reassured him.

“Thank God.” He sighed happily, relieved.

The first and only rule was already broken.

“I can’t do this, you know. Can’t have a relationship. It’s not your fault, I just can’t do this sort of commitment at this point of my life.” Jude said while looking at her. She didn’t know where that came from.

They were peacefully taking a walk on a park close to her place. The cold breeze and the way his words somehow felt like a dagger made her shiver and cross her arms, not looking at him.

“I’ve never—” she tried to say. “We were never—”

What could she say? That they were nothing? That wasn’t the truth.

“I’ve never asked a relationship from you. I don’t even— want a relationship. We had talked about that since the beginning,” she said, furrowing her eyebrows. Did she do something that made him think otherwise?

“Let’s be honest with each other for a second.” He said and stopped her, turning her around to look at him  “This whole thing is running out of our control. I can’t do this. There’s no way I can have a serious relationship, one with actual commitment. I need to stop this before it gets to a point that I’ll hurt you.”

She swallowed. Despite her best efforts to hide how that hurt, maybe she was giving it away.

She didn’t want a relationship. They were in the same page.

But she was never the one to insist. Never the one to run after someone. In fact, her entire life, all she did was running away.

That’s all she knew how to do.

So, she just accepted it.

She sighed when she heard the knock on her door, her face twisted with annoyance. For some reason, Jude decided he wanted to see her and asked her to dress up nicely — something he knew she always did, but maybe he just wanted her to create some expectation and, perhaps, not dislike him as much as she was disliking him at that moment.

When she opened the door, he was standing there with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and in a perfect tuxedo. She would’ve sighed, if it wasn’t for the last conversation they had.

“You think you can buy me flowers and what? Problem solved?” She asked, not bothering to hide how much his presence maddened her.

“No. I know you better than that,” Jude said carefully, knowing he had to think well before speaking if he wanted to still be in her life. “But I can still buy you flowers, right? I know you like peonies. And I also like to think that’s a decent way to greet a woman you’d like to take on a date.”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“On a date?” She asked in disbelief. “I thought dates were too couple-ish for you.” She mocked him.

He sighed deeply.

“I was wrong, alright?” He said and run a hand through his hair. “Well, not that wrong. The situation is getting out of hand and we’re breaking every rule we made up, but you’re right, this isn’t like I’m dating you. Still, I’d love to have you on my life and for things to be… the way they were before I fucked up.”

She sighed, crossing her arms.

“My ex showed up that day and I just got nervous; I think.” He looked down. “I had never liked someone this fast, you know? I don’t know how it happened to us. But when she showed up, everything I was afraid of suddenly came back and I just— almost ruined us. Whatever this is.” He looked at her. “But you're not her, and I like you so, so fucking much. Can I, please, have the honor of a second chance?”

“It’s the only one you’re having.” She said as she grabbed the bouquet. “Nice choice of flowers.”

He opened the sweetest, most genuine smile.

“Things are so much easier when I’m with you. I wish it was always like this. That I could take you everywhere,” Jude said.

They were stargazing in her backyard, laying on the soft grass. His head was on her chest as she caressed his hair. They didn’t need to look at each other and he didn’t need to see her eyes to know how she felt — he could hear her heartbeat. It was more than enough.

He was going through a rough patch; she knew that much. And she didn’t know how to fix it, how to help him — it was out of her reach to do such a thing and he would hate if she even tried. His pride always took a tool on him, used to suffering in silence.

“I know.” She sighed softly. “I like being with you, if that helps. You’re my favorite person to talk to.”

“I hope I am,” he chuckled softly. “That’s why we’re sort of together, right?”

“Right,” she nodded. Things seemed so easier and intimate when they were like that. She felt his soft locks against her fingers and sighed once again. “But only sort of together.” She teased him.

“You’re annoying,” he joked.

“Touché.”

“Why are you so mad at me?!” Bellingham exclaimed, trying to run after her as she made her way out of the nightclub. He tried to reach for her arm and called out her name. “Stop, please.”

She stopped. Why was she still agreeing with anything he told her to do, anyway? Even when she couldn’t think straight, even when she was tipsy from all the alcohol she had consumed. Since when he became such a strong influence in her life that she would just submit to what he said? Why didn’t she leave?

Why didn’t she run away?

She was so good at that.

“I just—” She looked up, trying to find a way to put her words together and make it make sense. “I hate seeing you surrounded by so many women. And it’s so clear how much you enjoy the attention.”

“I don’t—”

“You literally left me standing to go talk to whoever that woman was.”

“You’re exaggerating and you don’t want to listen to me. Why don’t you just breathe for one second?” He asked her. “Look, I might enjoy the attention, but I wouldn’t leave you standing anywhere. I told you, when this whole thing started, that you’d never have to worry about me hitting on someone in front of you.”

And, to her, it felt like they had taken every step back. He didn’t mean for his words to come out like that, really. He knew what she had gone through in her relationships and how much anxiety she could feel from liking someone. He wanted to reassure her and was managing to do the opposite.

“Yeah, the same way we told each other this would be nothing serious,” she scoffed. “And it really seemed like you were flirting with her. How come when it’s with me, I have to chill and take a deep breathe, but when you’re feeling like that, I have to keep explaining myself?”

He opened up his mouth, but no words left. She knew he’d say she was making a fuss over nothing.

“Good night, Bellingham,” she said before leaving the club, not bothering to look back.

That same day, thousands of pictures of him in the club came out. He wasn’t doing anything, but her heart broke a little bit more from how many women surrounded him.

He didn’t bother to explain.

In fact, he had ignored her for two weeks.

That’s how they ended up here.

“You’re joking, right?” Jude asked, though he knew her enough to know if she was bluffing or not. “I just told you all my problems and— that I need a break from us. I need to focus on other aspects of my life, I can’t afford the luxury of having space for anything romantic.”

She laughed dryly.

“And what am I supposed to do, huh? Shove my feelings right up my ass just because you want me to wait for you? Or even worse, be your friend?” She didn’t mean to sound that aggressive, but the two weeks of no contact were more than enough for her anxiety to overcome every good memory they had and replace them with thoughts that he didn’t even really care.

“I’m not asking to be your friend! Jesus, you’re so complicated!” Jude exclaimed.

“I'm not complicated!” She argued back. “I’m just tired of having to put your feelings on top of mine, of prioritizing you instead of myself. I know where this ends and I won’t submit myself to this. Not to this, not to you, not with you.”

“Please,” he sounded desperate. Pathetically desperate. He held her arm. “Don’t do this to me. Wait for me. I will come back, I swear to God.”

“And put my life on hold because you want me to?” She asked, looking up at him, showing how hurt she was by the whole situation.

“What if I’m losing the love of my life over something I cannot control?” He asked her in a whisper, his brown eyes meeting hers.

It was his last attempt, that was for sure. But he forgot just how good she was at walking away. Maybe it was her fault for always finding some excuse for his attitudes or even for forgiving him, in first place. Maybe she should've walked away when she realized she was catching feelings. Maybe she shouldn’t have allowed him a second chance.

A series of maybes that only involved things she could have done.

But one thing was for sure: she wasn’t going to break herself over anyone ever again. Despite how much she liked him, despite the part of her that was willing to wait — she had been through too much to do that to herself again. She didn’t know if it was worth it, not anymore.

“I’m not the love of your life, Jude.” She said and did what she was the best at: walking away.

[boringbones]

A Letter to Talented Creators

I've been part of this community for 20 years, watching artists rise, fall, leave for new journeys, or simply stop playing or creating. We've received amazing content, but we've also missed out on much.

I wonder how many of these artists could still be creating extraordinary content if they had the support of their communities. It’s common to encounter cliques of creators who vilify anyone considering making a living doing what they love. They’ll use every trick to convince you that not only do you NOT deserve it, but that pursuing it somehow taints you.

With every new friend and artist I meet, my first advice is always: FIND a way to monetize what you do. I believe that if you have the chance to make a living doing what you love, you gain MORE TIME to do what you're great at and, especially, what others love.

Besides, you don’t need everyone’s support—just those who, like me and many other players, are willing to contribute to ensure you have the time you need to keep producing and delivering something only you can create. There are ideas that haven’t been thought of and projects that haven’t been started. Life brings unexpected situations, and we never truly know what goes on behind the scenes for each person who shares their art with the world.

Let me tell you, people are willing to support you. In reality, there are more people willing to support a creator than those who aren't. The difference is that those who are willing don’t make as much noise, but they genuinely enjoy helping an artist who continually exceeds expectations.

I know some people think, “If I make money from this, I’ll have to commit to a level I’m not willing to.” And if that’s the case, that’s fine. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. However, I see this commitment as something positive, but I respect those who disagree. As an artist, you want a certain level of "healthy" pressure. After all, art requires it—not too much pressure, but not too little, either.

Criquette, for instance, is one of the best creators for The Sims 2 in my view. He made incredible things that nearly every player has used. He was ambitious on a level I’ve rarely seen. But he’s been inactive for years. I wonder how much more he could have created if he’d been able to monetize his work—cover household bills, put food in the fridge, or handle basic expenses. How much more time he might have had to create and share? How many brilliant things we could have today in The Sims if he were still here? But he wasn’t monetized, and maybe he was never interested in it, and that’s okay!

For every artist who monetizes, there are many who prefer to do it as a hobby. And that’s wonderful. There are many runners who do it for well-being, pleasure, social connections, or the benefits it brings to life. However, there are those who run professionally. They commit to a level an “amateur” NEVER would. They undergo training that a casual or hobbyist runner would NEVER endure. They maintain diets that others would NEVER tolerate. But the fact that some monetize running and turn it into a career doesn’t prevent others from running for love, fun, or enjoyment.

So, what I’m trying to say is: it’s all okay. If you believe monetizing your talent would give you more QUALITY time to sit and produce what you love, give you the chance to take someone you love to a special restaurant simply because you can, or allow you to be BETTER at what you do because it frees you from worrying about adult responsibilities—then do it!

Be prepared for the noise others will make, but remember that those people aren’t your target audience. Even if they make noise, they don’t consume what you produce. And if they do, they might do so in secret—because attacking a creator and consuming that creator’s work is contradictory. But believe me, there’s often more inconsistency than consistency in this world. And that’s okay!

Remember that on the other side, there are many kind people who don’t mind contributing a small, medium, or even significant amount to support a creator they love, appreciate, and benefit from. Keep this in mind when considering monetization, no matter which version of The Sims you create for. If there’s even one person willing to support you, that’s all you need to start.

I am sure that with this, you’ll have more time, more quality of life, more joy, and a healthy commitment to push yourself in a positive way to give back to your audience for the support and love they have for what you create.

If I have time to create and contribute today, it’s because of these people. They’ve changed my life, shown me that I have the chance to live the life I genuinely want for myself rather than the life circumstances might have dictated. They show me daily that I can LOVE what I do and make a living from it, and that monetizing it doesn’t take away my love for it—instead, it enhances it. I hope you consider my words.

In the end, remember this phrase: “Beyond daily life and what others think of you, what do you think of yourself?” Your value is something only you define. People will respect you to the extent that you respect yourself. If anyone says you don’t have a place “here,” remember, we’re always speaking about ourselves.

We can only give to others what we have, what we are. Trust in your talent and find a way to monetize it, whatever it may be—whether it’s making jarred cakes, selling pudding door-to-door, or creating content for The Sims. I’ve done all these things, and if I’ve learned one thing, it’s that our circumstances change according to our sense of worth. When we recognize that every job has value and that there’s nothing wrong with making a living if you’re providing benefits to others with what you have to offer... So follow your heart. Take risks, give it your all, and be the artist you want to be, because there are people ready to support you. You deserve it, and you will succeed. I hope this letter reminds you of your worth.

Never forget that each of your creations is a unique expression, something only you can bring to the world. May that value and uniqueness always guide you and give you the confidence to keep doing what you love.

[lovedovechels]

Digital Detox and Self-prioritization

You`re endlessly doom-scrolling on your phone. Your thumb glides from Facebook to Twitter to Tik Tok then to Instagram and back to Facebook again, all within an hour. You scroll until you're consumed with feelings of anxiety, envy, and fleeting bursts of joy. You scroll until you`re overpowered by the desire to be someone else, doing something else and YOU CAN BE! This desire is easily achievable when you put your phone down, take a break from social media, and start living in the real world! I should know, I was just like you once.

I was the girl with a daily screen-time of over ten hours. My life was sedentary, and I was always plagued by envy and bitterness towards the people on social media who seemed to have their life together and were out being exciting people who did exciting things. 

I remember one evening I was carrying out my normal routine of doom-scrolling when I was bushwhacked by a migraine so crippling that it drew a family member`s attention. After relaying my ache to them, they humorously suggested it was probably because of my phone. 

This was my epiphany. Their joke was right- I was spending too much time on my phone and while trying to ignore my pounding head, I recalled all the hours I spent bent over my phone, bleary-eyed and envious of the life of content creators and micro-influencers. 

I recalled watching gym content and admiring these creators' progress while not having the faintest idea of the last time I worked out. 

I used to dedicate my time to passionately responding to comments in defense of celebs who did not know of my existence. I did not once dedicate this same level of commitment and dedication to my passions. 

I posted pictures of myself and religiously compared the likes, views, and comments I garnered to those of my mutuals. I tried to maintain a curated online image that was disingenuous to who I was- heck, I barely knew who I was without the influence of social media.  

This enlightenment (and my migraine lol) shook me to my core. I had to do something fast. I deleted my Twitter, Instagram, and Tik Tok. Since going offline, I`ve had a multitude of free time which I`ve dedicated to self-prioritization and improvement.  

I`ve since fallen into the habit of : 

Creating to-do lists so that my days are productive. 

Picking up new hobbies (blogging via Tumblr, painting, and writing) 

Reconnecting with old hobbies (Reading; so far, I`ve read two books from @kelseytheballerina ‘Digital Minimalism’ reading list). 

Dedicating time and energy towards being more organized and efficient (completing tasks without the temptation to check my phone or the distraction of incoming notifications that require me to update, share, or respond).  

Trying new recipes and cooking more

Gardening (I am currently growing Spinach)

Consistently exercising (working out between 30 minutes to 1 hour) 

Learning a foreign language (Eu falo portugues!) 

Deciding to engage in Bible Study and Quiet Time  

Since deleting social media, I`ve experienced so much personal growth. I feel more self-directed. My life was waiting to be lived and enjoyed just beyond the glare of a screen and I`ve since embraced it and reclaimed my time and made myself a priority. I am finally figuring out who I am, AND YOU SHOULD TOO! 

[cats-artbag]

SwapOut/Webcomic/Twitch PSA!

Hi everyone 👋🏻 Zk here >< or Cats, for older followers

So I've been getting back into doing SwapOut again, but I would like to appeal to everyone who reads and loves the comic. Much love to all of you who's still sticking around 🙏🏻💙 But something has also always been bothering me throughout this journey.

As many of us know, we artists do these comics for free (especially fan comics), starting them out of love and taking a LOT of time and energy out of our lives to continue making them.

And it's amazing how many of you come from translations or comic dubs on Youtube, which are also very well-done and take a lot of effort to make, much love to them too. There is a difference, however.

Monetization.

And I'm not asking for pity! I'm appealing for understanding.

Because some comic dubbers on Youtube are able to earn ad revenue from the videos they upload. From the beginning, we artists have given them the permission to dub our works. But we don't receive anything from it, nor do we usually charge them for using our art (against our better judgement).

We let them use our comic pages in their monetized videos for free. And occasionally these videos receive thousands and millions of views, which I imagine gives a decent amount of ad revenue, while the artists themselves don't usually earn anything from their own artwork, nor do we ever want to put it behind a paywall of any kind. (we like reading free comics too so don't worry x|)

... But doing full-colored comic pages for free eventually gets hard to sustain without any income from it, even more so when we need to give our time and energy to other jobs to earn money for a living instead. We legitimately keep going on our comics purely out of love. Truly, we would LOVE to do our own art for a living. There's things like Patreon but it's only feasible if we're also able to produce bonus content or show BTS, and only people willing to spend money for them can help us, and not readers who aren't able to.

And we understand that not everyone can afford to support us monetarily. And that's okay!

But if you love these comics and want to really help us to keep going, there ARE ways you can easily support us for free!

For example, affiliates on Twitch (like myself) are able to earn ad revenue very early on (they must have at least 50 followers, quite a requirement, but still easier to obtain than Youtube's 1000 subscribers).

(my Youtube, btw. not much rn but drop a subscribe?)

But simply put, if the vast majority of readers from the yt numbers visit and stay for ads on the artists' Twitch streams (remember to have adblocker disabled for the site, if any), they'll be making an actual, physical contribution to the artist themselves, at no cost whatsoever. We earn up to 55% from any ads that run on our stream, so the more viewers, the better!

(this is my twitch on average 8 viewers, with a 3 hour stream. again, the more the better!)

(ofc you can also buy subs to watch ad-free and supports me directly, but i'm typing all this to share the free ways people can support their fave creators ✨)

And even if that doesn't work out, I'd be happy enough to see most of you there 🙏🏻💙 I've been treating my streams as work, so I'm striving not to break the streak.

So drop a follow on my Twitch, and catch the streams when you can! They're great if you need company or background noise, and also great for co-working~

Currently streaming WEEKLY, Mondays, Wednesdays (SwapOut) and Saturdays, 10.30AM EST

(art by @cupcakepaints)

>> twitch.tv/zkcats <<

Anyway thanks for listening to my Ted talk, please share this around for others as well >< 🙏🏻 Artists, make this a reblog chain or something! Promo your stuff!

And apologies for the essay, I wasn't expecting to type this much sdghsgh this itself is not an ad for Twitch or whatev, I'm just a little frustrated with needing to juggle all this.

I was also considering hosting SwapOut somewhere that could get ad revenue, but I wasn't sure where until I realized I can probably earn that from my Tapas now (i think?? sdfhgh up to 70% ad revenue there but i haven't seen any yet) So maybe I'll post there a day earlier than here or something? We'll see. Go subscribe there! Check it out! Reread it! Help ME help YOU!

... Much appreciated ><

[queenofthequillandink]

Controversial opinion about the Watcher streaming service, apparently: This was a really exciting announcement that everyone was so excited to shit on that y'all may end up killing Watcher altogether.

I'm going to try to be really clear about this, because I don't want to dismiss valid concerns, so here we go.

Watcher came to us and they said, "We want to make our best content for you. We don't want you to be the product we have to sell to advertisers, we want you to be an audience that we can take on the coolest journey we can make. But that takes money that we can't get from YouTube revenue." And I honestly thought this was a perfectly logical and reasonable direction to take the company so Watcher could continue to exist in its best possible form.

Are there things they could have stated more clearly? Yeah, especially that their YouTube library would still be available and what would happen to people who were already patrons of the channel.

Do I understand why people would be upset about potentially losing access to Watcher? Of course. It's an amazing company making amazing content, and not everyone can afford a streaming service. They did openly encourage password sharing, which I happen to think is very cool of them, but some people would still lose access and that sucks.

But I truly don't understand how "We want to make amazing content and keep our amazing team, and that needs a budget that YouTube just can't give us" turned into "Wahhhh give us your money, we want it all" to some people. I think it's worth remembering that Watcher is a small company with a small team, not a streaming giant looking for one more way to milk an extra cashflow opportunity.

I truly hope that Watcher making everything free on YouTube on a delay because people yelled loud enough doesn't shoot them in the foot. Because I think they make great content and I think they deserve to be paid fairly for it and pay their staff fairly for it. Content creators aren't factories; they don't have to churn free content out for you forever. If Watcher becomes untenable because Ryan, Shane, and Steven can't make good content and make enough money to live off of at the same time, it will simply vanish. And I'm sure some of the same people yelling about the streaming service will yell about that too, if it ever happens.

I don't know, I just didn't think, "We're trying to make the best possible content for you," deserved this much of an outcry.

[erithel]

Piggybacking off of your response to the previous ask, man can I just say what an utter clusterfuck the whole "gone" situation was follower-wise... i'm gonna make this about me so sorry about that, however i'm the kind of person that can't really articulate their thoughts, can't see through the layers as clearly as others and when people post a thoughtful analysis that reflects my feelings about the fic while the best thing I can come up with is something like "wow, fic good❤️" (which yeah I know is still fine but anyway) it makes me feel so much better because what is trapped in my head is articulated as I wanted to express it... that being said, seeing you explore ptsd and lance's grief like this stirred smth in me, I cried at times, so I was very excited to see people in your asks sharing their thoughts and all... And then they didn't seem to care so much about it (not all of them obvs) and at first it was like "hahah yeah.. we all want them to kiss xd lol" but then seeing you post about how people would essentially flood your asks for klance to KISS ALREADY™ plus with other general stuff... Idk if it was frustrating for me I can't even begin to imagine how it was for you, because this is like.. still a story, just in comic form, so yes it has an arc it need to complete. We could see the episode count from the beginning too if I remember correctly, so being so insistent about it was weird? Either way, it was a story and it was getting somewhere and spamming about when your ship will be canon is kind of annoying. So sorry this happened to you and so happy you pushed through! I binge it on the regular!

I feel like I could do a Ted Talk on the etiquette of commenting at this point, through my own experience, and also reading comments my friends have received on their work.

But essentially what it boils down to is two things:

Creators put a lot of work into their stories, and

They choose to write stories their way

The way that I write fan content (both fics and comics) is because these stories and these subjects are important to me. Some of them are very personal, too. And I know I am not the only creator who chooses to write this way.

Obviously the way I reacted to the "just kiss already" comments may have seemed like an overreaction from the outside (I thank you for being understanding in your ask btw).

But the message those constant comments were sending was a very clear one of:

All the thought/time/work you put into this story does not matter

Everyone who ever told you to "just get over it" was right

Grief can be a very physical and powerful thing.

Losing someone you love leaves you with this excess of love and affection that now has no where to go. You used to have a place to direct it, and when that place is suddenly gone, it takes a while to learn how to function again; to redistribute that love.

It's something that never goes away, it just gets manageable. And it's definitely not something you can "just get over."

I'm not saying I'm the greatest storyteller of all time, but I was tired of reading books and watching movies and shows where the characters never felt the aftermath of a loss. They all just moved onto the next episode or the next chapter like nothing ever happened.

And I do think it's important to tell stories like this in fanfiction. Because many readers are younger. Many readers rely on reading fanfiction because it's free. Many readers need hope and catharsis. And getting to read about their favorite characters go through terrible things but realistically come out on the other side is, to me, very important. Because the stories we read - no matter if they are free or published works - can stick with us for the rest of our lives.

This is why it was such a big deal for me. Because I was trying to tell a story that said "Please take your time to get over things. Please know that it's okay if you don't immediately snap back to the way things were. Please know that it's okay to feel whatever it is you are feeling." And getting comment after comment that said the exact opposite was honestly just crushing.

I would take a "wow, fic good" comment any day. Because it acknowledges what has been done, instead of demands things to speed up to suit someone else's needs.

And, on a slightly more petty note... it was a klance fan comic. It's not like they weren't going to kiss. They just weren't going to do it in the middle of an argument where it wouldn't have stuck!

(I do also think it's funny that there's a perfect comic example of a kiss happening too early, before communication which happened right around the same time as Gone. And for the record, she's gotten way more and way worse comments than I did, so that's something worth mentioning, too.)

The point is that some stories are very personal to the author and very important to certain members of the audience. Of course no single story will be for everyone, but just because it is not going a certain way does not mean it's okay to demand it be changed.

[royal-tea-blogs]

Lily Orchard Deserves Better

These thoughts have been rumbling around in my mind for a while now and considering what happened recently with her tumblr being taken down twice and the recent situations, I just wanted to give my two cents so my brain can stop bothering me about it. Heads up for typos and grammar since I wrote this on my phone.

The first Lily Orchard video I ever watched was Over Cooked, a video about Steven Universe’s handling of Amethysts character. Now even as a 12 year old at the time I still knew it was better for me to avoid the content I know would make me mad, and I was a huge fan of SU at the time. But curiosity got the better of me and I ended up watching it.

Then I watched more. Because she made sense. Then I wanted more of her videos. I vividly remember thinking to myself “wow that was harsh” every now and then, but beyond that there weren’t too many cases where I was actually mad at her (because I’m not a pathetic diaper baby who gets mad at opinions what who said that?)

I watched her from then on rip my previous favourite show to pieces, I watched her rip brony pedos and crybabies to pieces and I loved nearly all of it, even if I didn’t agree with some of it.

It took me a while, don’t get me wrong. She discussed it herself in a few videos: people on the internet are used to a lot of shield jokes and bootlicking by the creators (which is fine!). But once I built of more of a tolerance by listening to what she had to say, I found myself a lot more critical in the long run.

Now I still haven’t quite learned my lesson on my curiosity getting me to watch things that I know will make me mad, so I’ve seen a few Lily Orchard debunking videos. Near every single time it is blatantly obvious that they either didn’t understand what her actual point was, or are deliberately misunderstanding it. I just wanted to grab my monitor and shake it screaming “THATS LITERALLY NOT WHAT SHE MEANT” but alas.

The sheer amount of harassment that Lily has gone through for OVER A DECADE is ridiculous. Especially considering a huge amount is from whiny cartoon stans who have nothing going on in their lives.

As for the criminal allegations, if they have the proof they claim (and proof that has apparently convinced other friends so apparently despite Lily’s previous support of them) then take it to a courtroom. I’m personally done listening to those sorts of accusations until something is at least ATTEMPTED to be done about it in a meaningful manner.

As for Stockholm allegations: I’ve seen the clips. I saw one years ago and it broke my heart at the time. It does seem like Lily might have written Stockholm. But I haven’t done lots of searching into that. You know why?

Lily has made it abundantly clear, for the entire seven years I’ve been watching her (at least as long as I can remember) EXACTLY where she stands when it comes to pedophilic behavior, proshippers, abuse victims, and that type of content.

Did she write Stockholm? Her behavior and stance nowadays means that, to me at least, it doesn’t matter. The Lily of today (hell, even years ago) certainly wouldn’t support such a fic and would rake the writer over hot fiery coals, she’s made that blatantly obvious.

Would admitting if she did write it been the morally correct thing to do instead of denying it? Yes.

Do I blame her for a denying it (if she did write it)? After seeing even a tip of the harassment iceberg she’s had to endure for far pettier things? I don’t blame her a bit.

Either she never wrote Stockholm and she’s always held these beliefs and behaviors, or she saw the error of her previous behavior and CHANGED FOR THE BETTER. It’s not like it would have been the last time, I see she tries her best to correct her mistakes.

Honestly? That’s good enough for me. Harassing her over a fic from a decade ago that she has either never even written or blatantly disowned and now condemn the very behavior of is just nonsense. All of it is.

Anyways Lily, I love your content and I really hope you can keep doing what you’re doing and writing what you love ❤️

[mcytblr-archive]

Early MCYTblr Interviews: georgesoot

today's interviewee is georgesoot/dreamwasfound, who, in his words, "emerged from the senior living center to tell all". under the readmore is a transcript if the questions and answers.

Q: What was, in broad terms, your experience in MCYTblr? Are there any experiences/events that stand out to you?

A: Well it was primarily an outlet to channel all my obnoxious thoughts about Minecraft at the time. I had started watching Minecraft videos during the Pandemic, and came across [they who shall not be mentioned] and noticed there wasn't really a community on Tumblr yet. I just knew that someone had to show up and make it gay. It was easy to slot myself in, start making posts that I will never understand how I thought they would be funny, and slowly built up some sort of a following due to my sense of humor but also due to my ability to soberly ~critique~ the Minecraft Men as content creators, micro-celebrities, and as people. I never really fell into niches or was much aware of what other people were doing, until I was kind of folded into this idea of Dream Lying. I don't mean to sound self obsessed but I didn't really care about anything beyond my immediate sphere of friends?

For instance, you mention with other interviewees the Elections. I did not pay attention to those for a single second. I do remember we were saying "stop the count!" because we thought Georgeeehd should have won. And I dubbed Wormweeb the Prime Minister of Mcytblr, but I don't even remember who was running? Or why this even happened?

But as for other events, if they were funny or I could wring something out of them, I do remember them. For example, the mass migration of Kpoppies to Tumblr after it was suddenly "legal" to ship content creators. That compltely shifted the "culture" if it can be called that. I remember all the fake stan accounts, but I never attempted to interact with them. Obviously I remember the Tapeworm post, all the Discourse, the Controversies, how I was able to get hundreds of notes by summarizing events of the DreamSMP, my great shame in life.

But yes, most of the time, I was not there to take things too seriously.

Q: More specifically, what was your experience being in Dream Lying/early critblr? Do you think your experience differed from “main” MCYTblr?

A: As for my experience in what has been dubbed Critblr, well I've been credited with helping to start that whole movement. I think it's funny, because truly the kind of reaction to [censored]'s warcry scandal just wouldn't play out today the way it did back then. But I think it's a function of being an adult, that I could look at [censored] not as an idol, like at all whatsoever. It's easy to swept up in the emotions of things. But as a veteran of Discourseblr, and multiple fandoms, I could see through [censored]'s lack of media training and awareness of the average center left teenage perspective on these issues like it was wet tissue paper. People were mad at for that, but I didn't care what people thought of me.

Maybe by coincidence the other members of Dream Lying also had similar worldviews to mine. Everyone could look past the stanning of it all and recognize when something "canceallable" occurred and discuss it frankly and succinctly. Well I couldn't discuss it succinctly but others could. So to answer your question, yes it was a different experience from the rest of the "community." And it got to the point that it wasn't just "holding creators to account" it became fun. It was fun being the buzzkill in an ironic sense, and also fun in an unhinged way to just create these ludicrous scenarios of [censored] the Young Republican cornering you in the hallway and asking you so how does gay sex work actually though? And again, shipping was a component of this too.

And we turned out to be right. At the risk of sounding arrogant, this will become a theme.

Q: In previous interviews with DLying members, we’ve discussed that misinformation/in-jokes were a big part of the culture, one of them being that Dream sued you for libel. Do you remember any others? Did you expect so many people to believe you?

A: As I mentioned, I didn't take things too seriously. I enjoyed doing a little light trolling, such as when I infiltrated a [censored] stan tumblr server and showed everyone his dogs, and then reveled in the drama of them acting like I killed their families. People also turned on me because I abandoned The Ship for a ship that comprises of two… perpetrators of sexual misconduct as of March 2024, though that would also be true of the Popular Ship as well.

Anyway my personal computer died sometime in early 2021, so I, as is per the usual for my personality, made it into a joke because it really was quite stressful. I mentioned to Reese Georgeeehd and Ozzie ohge0rge (sp?) that [censored] must've sent a virus to kill my harddrive. This evolved into [censored]'s legal team sending me a cease and desist letter, as I'm sure I was being extra ~critical~ on Tumblr at the time.

They asked if they could make that The Official Narrative. I cautioned against it, it leaked anyway, because their "Private Twitters" had hundreds of followers, and this enabled this joke to become a full fledged rumor. And then my "ops" as the kids call them, got wind of this too. Most didn't believe it, but some had this "If it did happen GOOD!" attitude.

But some other examples… let me think. We did try to heavily imply that Ranboo was a former member of our organization. We rarely outright lied about the creators, but we did usually distort or exaggerate things when it came to us, for comedic effect. Frequently someone will say to me "Oh so and so mentioned you again," and my go-to answer is always "Tell them I got hit by a bus," or "Tell them I'm withering away from my dementia in the nursing home."

I did not expect people to believe me, because I did not spread the rumor because I had completely disappeared from the "public" by that point. I purposefully devised a very unrealistic joke in the first place, so I really don't know who would believe that. Especially since I was known to be friends and enemies with doxxers, who could find that information out if it existed.

Like the thought of [censored] being so hurt by a single anonymous loser calling him a Trump supporter and a bad voice actor and someone who was going to hold his British friend captive in his basement and force him to go on a keto diet to the point that he starves to death, or that he had offshore bank accounts to evade Taxes, or that he paid his brother to be his body double (this turned out to be true), that he was pretending to be bisexual for clout, that he had 100% cheated on his speedrun (also turned out to be true), that he had enslaved his mother as his maid, that he and his other friend from Texas would engage in a little frottage as bros do… well the list is endless. But the thought of him being so offended that he gets his lawyer, whom he pays, to send me a cease and desist letter… well it's one of the few things I came up with that was actually funny.

Uh but no, anyone with a healthy attachment to reality would never believe that.

Q: I understand that you were also in EBblr and its surrounding communities. What was that like? 

A: I was never in ebblr… all I did was watch a few Tubbo streams, realize that he was probably gay, and I was right. Because what do you expect at this point?

I pointed out publicly that Tubbo and Ranboo were engaging in some light queerbait, except that they were obviously both queer. The point was I thought they (or at least Tubbo) were trying to engineer a New [censored], because that gets you attention which gets you money… like Kaceytron was right about everything? In these spaces, being Queer is a commodity. But I'm letting the point get away from me.

In private, I mostly reacted with bemusement, and we did have some genuine enderbabies, as I called them (mostly derisively), in our server, who took it all so literally and that it was so kawaii desu. I thought it was cringe. Like, Tubbo pretending to be coy and saying Ranboo's foot was bigger than his forearm. That took me RIGHT back to my days as a cringy 19yo baby gay trying to flirt. Oh I'm getting embarrassed thinking about it. But there were a few moments that Tubbo and Ranboo manufactured together that I thought were pretty cute and wholesome.

On the whole, I'm still confused as to why I'm included in this sub-community. I approached Enderbees as a marketing thing, or something of the sort. I never read fics, I never looked at art, I never really cared. I especially didn't care about their "characters" on the SMP, which also set me apart from the genuine unironic shippers. Some thought this was worse than shipping because I was committing that dreaded cardinal sin: speculating on CC's sexualities.

And yes, I popularized the word Truthing in this context. I explicitly modeled it after 9/11 Truthers, because the JOKE (hi remember none of this was meant to be too serious) was that we were deranged conspiracists who were probably best kept away from normal society.

Q: Is it odd to be regarded as infamous within the MCYTblr niche? 

A: No it's not odd, I at least partially strove for infamy. Any attention gratifies the ego after all, not just postitive attention. Then there was the absurdity of it all. Here I was, in the Pandemic, having multiple degrees, looking for jobs, getting a job, going to work, paying taxes, and theater kids in high school were probably drawing devil horns on my pfp and throwing knives at it. All because I said everything I said about [censored], or "speculated" that Technoblade was gay because he had drama kid energy, or called Tommy annoying that one time in 2020, or babied [censored] too much. There's really no end to the list of nonsense I was spewing.

And I'd argue that I'm not infamous. Gayminecraftmen had to tell me about your blog and your interviews. I'm doing this because my friends think it would be funny. And the Drama of Georgesoot emerging from the senior living center to tell all is the kind of stupid humor I like. But aside from this, I haven't thought about Minecraft in a while. I have to be spoonfed lore about these annoying content creators who don't even make content anymore. Anything I learn about the "community" now is against my will.

At the time, maybe I was infamous, but now? I don't care. To even dignify my "infamy" would be to admit that Minecraft Youtube is even relevant anymore. How pathetic! I just filed my taxes and got an oil change last week. Me and the homies are having Dune watch parties and writing elaborate screenplays for Timothee Chalamet to star in in our heads (shout out to Ciara). To reminisce on my Tumblr infamy for a community of mostly teenagers about Content Creators who made content for said teenagers and later preyed on those teenagers… is so opposite from the adult problems and adult interest I have. Not to be condescending but that's just how it is!

Q: What are some common creator criticisms that you remember from 2020-2021? Do you still stand by them?

A: The common criticisms have held up in my opinion. [censored] and [censored] were queerbaiting. [censored] was cultivating an audience of loyal vulnerable teenagers and he took advantage. So did [censored]. And [censored] who literally bites people? Oh… okay then.

Dream Lying was right about [censored]'s friend whom he invited into his home and whom he tried to gift a career, only to be outed as an abuser. We were right about [censored] coming from not just a conservative background, but a bigoted one, one that he refused to actually grapple with. We were right about MCC being rigged. We were right about the cheating scandal. We were right about so many things.

The only thing I was definitely wrong about was the [censored] really did hop off the plane at LAX with a dream and a cardigan. I thought he for sure would just put off the [censored] team hype house meetup forever. My psychic powers don't always work I guess. That wasn't a criticism though, just my coping. Oh and I was wrong that Ranboo was an industry plant, but I was right that he's annoying and has no talent. And Dream Lying said from day one that Tubbo and Ranboo's little relationship would not last the summer and we were right! In fact during that whole thing I also speculated that Tommy would start queerbaiting and then he did! I felt like Cassandra at times.

Anyway back to the point. I mean the criticisms of [censored] were just all encompassing, and basically stemmed from the fact that he was like all these video game boys- a white man from a republican household who was not properly media trained because Streaming is not a real industry career and none of them were prepared for fame. And that has borne out over and over again. They all have shady pasts, they all abuse their fame and take advantage of fans. So I do stand by these criticisms.

Q: Is there anything else you’d like to speak on or have archived?

A: Not really, I've already said far too much, so apologies to whoever edits these, I hope you enjoy the novel I wrote for you. I don't know, I have dementia, none of this is real. Karlarmy forever. Also who even knows if I'm the real Georgesoot.

[alagaisia]

Hey if you’re still enjoying and engaging with Harry Potter in any capacity you can unfollow me 😊 please and thank you

Like. I get it. I was super into it as a kid too. I did not have the social context to pick up on the antisemitism or transphobia or sexism or fatphobia or bioessentialism or racism or anything else. I also picked up on surface-level language of Fighting Back Against Evil and ascribed my own values onto what that meant and thought we were all on the same page. I remember when the original kids who grew up with the books started becoming adult fans and picking up on the (blatant!) antisemitism and everybody was still mostly willing to give JKR the benefit of the doubt on it. (“She was writing kids books!” They said. “She didn’t know she was penning a global phenomenon! She picked a common literary trend in European fairy tales (antisemitic caricature) and didn’t examine it closely. It’s a mistake anyone could make,” we said. “She would probably do things differently now. After all, she word-of-god confirmed the vaguest hints she dropped that Dumbledore might be gay,” we said.) There was actually a span of several years where biases inherent in the actual real content of the Harry Potter series were coming to light and even the people pointing them out still seemed mostly to think it was an unfortunate accident.

That time has passed. Years ago! We are long past the first months of “maybe she doesn’t realize this seemingly-feminist tweet she liked was made by a noted TERF” and then “how could she not realize that these many veiled TERF-y things she’s retweeted have implications for the many queer fans of her work” and finally “oh wow okay JKR just dropped an entire transphobic manifesto on twitter. I guess the transphobia was the point.”

Yeah, there were a few months after that where people were still processing and still working through how they felt about Harry Potter and all of its flaws with the context of the now open transphobia of the creator. I was there for that. Remember how I was one of the kids who built it up into something noble and worthwhile based on my own beliefs about what messages it was probably trying to convey? Turns out it wasn’t trying to say any of those things, and when you take the time to examine all of the terrible shit that made its way into the text whether JKR intended it to be there or not, the whole series falls apart. It’s weird to discover that there’s a room in your house that’s rotten to the core, but eventually you figure out you can’t live like that, still going in there and holding your nose and pretending it’s still the same room you thought it was when the termites were only inside of the walls and hadn’t yet started chewing their way through the furniture. Because what’s going to happen is that they are going to infest the rest of your house. If you decide you can ignore transphobia and antisemitism and everything else just because you liked the color of the wallpaper, the rest of your principles are going to crumble too. You get rid of that fucking room. You put those books on a high shelf in the back of your closet behind other outgrown clothes and interests and you move the fuck on.

JKR uses the money made from her transphobic antisemitic children’s books to actively funding hate groups and to lobby for legislation that will and has actually affected the actual lives of trans people in an entire country. We are past the point of grieving something you were wrong about in childhood. Kids are wrong about a lot of stuff. You grow up and you learn new information and you change your behaviors based on it. You have to choose. It is transphobic to pretend there is not transphobia where there is. It is transphobic to support the work of someone who is using those funds to take rights from trans people with every fucking dollar. It is hateful to continue to engage positively with a story that at its very core is rooted in hate and bigotry and prejudice. You can choose to do all of those things but you cannot claim ignorance of them and you cannot choose those things and still pretend that choosing them upholds the values we convinced ourselves that Harry Potter stood for over a decade ago as uninformed children. You cannot choose to do those things and pretend to still support your trans and queer and Jewish neighbors. I do not want you in my neighborhood. Leave.

[shhuuga]

🧊 — BIG BARBIE, BITCH ON ICE.

[ prev. chap, next chap. summary — our barbies are exhausted! what better way to relax then to sit around reminiscing about being bad ass kids while sitting around the pool? ★ ]

You sigh, lying back on one of the guest rooms beds and breathing in the cool, clean air that surrounds you. chan must've cleaned this place like hell you think to yourself as you close your eyes, just letting the air of the bedroom cool your body, a few goosebumps prickling your skin. you hear two pairs of house shoes hitting the ground and before you can sit up, faye is opening the door with eva right behind her, both smiling seeing that you're ready for the pool.

"c'mon, y/n! i wanna see if i can still backflip!" faye urges, all too excited to cool off in some water. you and eva rolled your eyes simultaneously, faye is always up and moving.

"i'm coming, faye! can a girl take a breather? those 'say-sangs' were scary as hell!" you cross your arms over your swimsuit as you exit the room, suddenly feeling a lot more self conscious considering you were in a house full of men. "let me grab my--"

"noooo! c'mon, they got towels down thereee" faye pouts, already knowing that you wanted to grab your favorite cover up, and clearly being against it. you roll your eyes again, shrugging it off and beginning to walk down the steps.

minho looks up from his phone when he hears you and the girls enter the living room, he raises his hand and drops it before looking back down at his phone.

"you don't swim?" your voice makes him raise his head again, noticing that now your friends are both looking back at you and him, closer to the door than you are. he's dressed in swim trunks and a t-shirt, so it would be odd is he wasn't planning on swimming. before you came down though, he really wasn't.

"i do. but last time i did i got hit with a ball, so." he mumbles the last bit, feeling embarrassed once it actually came out of his mouth. fuck, was it hot? he was hot. you're hot. is he blushing? minho's head races even faster when he hears you chuckle. not in an "im laughing at your pain" way, more of a "that's a funny story" way. whatever way it was, it was making him sweat. he needs some water.

"well, make sure it doesn't happen this time." you smile, you fucking smile at him. holy shit, is he okay? he smiles back, and stands up to follow you. his heart is racing at a million miles per hour and it feels like he's watching himself walk next to you, tell him about the kind of content you do, and how this trip will make some perfect videos.

c'mon, y/n! talk about something other than content! for the love! you didn't know what else to say! almost your whole life after highschool has been documented online. makeup tutorials, vlogging, shopping hauls, the whole nine! when you weren't making videos, you were at mingling parties with other people who made content. eva had her cosmetics company, and faye had her singing career. but you were just "big barbie". the head huncho of the group? sure. the best known? absolutely! but that's it. you were a content creator. it was in this oddly insignificant moment that you realized you wanted something more.

.. how long has eva been talking to you?

"...and remember that time we flipped all of mr. chester's chairs and desks over and hid in the supply closet across the hall to get his reaction? it was amazing!" you smiled and nodded, not knowing quite what to say about the story, she tells it every time you three meet new people. it kind of kills the vibe because you and faye have to awkwardly fake a laugh.

you lay back onto the towel that's laid on the ground behind you, the water swaying softly against your ankles. the sounds around you are in sharp contrast, hyunjin and felix on the opposite side of the pool arguing about something, jeongin ans seungmin playing a very loud game of volleyball, and eva laughing as loud as humanly possible at changbin's joke. it was weird, eva was never like that, even around guys she liked. maybe she was just nervous, whatever.

"hey!" chris, your saving fucking grace from this headache of a quote un-quote "relaxation period", calls from inside the house, hanging his head out of the back door. he's got on his business casual, black slacks and a white button-up with a few pieces of jewelry. he waves to you, eva and faye before calling to the other members in Korean. "help me with this meat, we're having barbecue!"

you smile as faye walks over, holding her go-pro in her left hand, speaking to it as she approaches you.

"here she is, just sitting pretty.. isn't she so pretty?" the younger smiles brightly at you, weary of her wet hair from dripping on you. you smile and close your eyes, the sun beaming on your brown skin.

[msnihilist]

hii, we've never really interacted with each other and I hope this doesn't come across as weird or pushy, but I finally read one (1) too many asks from an anonymous anti and just couldn't keep my mouth shut anymore. WHY do they come to your ask box and act as if you are responsible for the education of every single person out there?? especially the last ask, where the anon just cannot wrap their head around the fact that you don't write about incest in an "educational way" that teaches people how it's "wrong and immoral". THAT'S NOT YOUR JOB??? they act like children who expect you to play the job of a parent, to take them by the hand and be like, "this is very, very bad and you should NEVER do this in real life." like, i'm sorry, but if "bad" topics can only ever be explored for the sake of teaching others that such things should never be acted upon in real life, then people like those anons should not be engaging with anything but media for very young children. how can one trust such people to consume anything that has a character doing something remotely bad without the character, in the end, turning to the camera and saying, "and remember kids, what i just did is very, very bad and should never be acted upon in real life" like some one-dimensional character fable written for people whose minds cannot yet distinguish between fiction and real life???

and to then come to YOU, who always offers content warnings and who certainly forces NO ONE to consume your content, who writes primarily for their own sake & pleasure, and who is not damaging a single fucking person over it, and complain about how you "never explore other relationships" and how you "never only write to teach your readers it's wrong and bad", i'm about to rip my hair out!!!

does hannibal ever turn to the camera and remind his audience that cannibalism is actually bad???? does any slasher ever turn to the camera and remind people they shouldn't kill???? do, idk, villains ever turn to the camera and remind others they shouldn't hurt anyone???? no??????? are topics of violence and death explored in media without serving the message of morality on a silver platter for its audience??? and do people complain to those content creators and accuse them of romanticizing killing & torturing, etc??? NO!! and yet 😫 and yet, the moment something sexual is involved, everyone and their mother clutches their pearls because to them, it's unfathomably disgusting and the idea to see it as fiction just as with other topics becomes impossible to actually understand, much less accept.

i wish i could reach through your screen, have access to those anons' computers, and install a program to only allows them access to websites that are friendly for children under 10 years old, because APPARENTLY, that's the only type of media they are mature enough to consume.

anyways. i respect and admire you for always staying so calm. i personally start having a high blood pressure for you whenever i read some of your anons, and i know in the end there's no point in engaging them bc i might as well try to have a complex, multi-layered discussion with my cold, unresponsive wall, and it would be less of a waste of time than arguing with antis. so, yeah. i hope you never let them take away your spark and ruin your fun. we live in sad times and writers who have not yet lost the courage to engage with creativity as it's SUPPOSED to (in an explorative way) are becoming much too seldom. have a lovely day!! 💕

(and P.S. sorry if i made you uncomfortable, that was not my intention)

You know, what's funny about that question aimed towards my own writing is that I actually do have fics where it's serious and awful.

Whisper Your Love is a Black Butler fic I wrote where Ciel (stubborn and prideful) attempts to force himself to overcome his sexual trauma (he was kidnapped and raped repeatedly and often) by forcing himself to have sex, and it doesn't work because trauma doesn't work that way. It's rated E, and I didn't write it to be erotic.

Playing Hard to Get is a Homestuck fic in which Dave is raped by his guardian, and it's blatant and victim-blame-y as hell. If you come away from this thinking that the rape was somehow a good thing for him, then that just shows you're going for the Olympic gold at stretching and reaching.

Mama's Boy is a Miraculous Ladybug fic where Adrien is clearly being groomed by his mother. It's so obvious that what she's doing is cruel.

Fly in a Web is an Astro Boy fic in which Tenma grooms and molests his son as a method of controlling him. Hell, even the title of this fic alludes to how "not okay" everything that happens here is.

That's just four of my older fics that I quickly combed through and picked. I have 15 pages of fics, and I only went through the last 5 to find those. (The reason it took five pages to find four fics? Because the vast majority of my fics are gen.)

62% of my fics are gen. 21% are teen. 9% are mature, and only 6% are explicit.

6%

It is honestly incredibly rude, entitled, and parasocial of antis to complain about what I spend my time writing, let alone 6% of my time.

Of course I have fetish fics. Taboo is hot! But the point of something being taboo is that it is wrong.

When I asked my ex to roleplay a rape scene with me, it wasn't a polite thing we had in mind. It was restraints and being held at knife-point and it was violent and rough because it's bad. Shocker!

But to circle back to your ask — if these antis actually do want something blatantly bad to read, I have plenty to choose from! But that's not what they actually want, because they see "rape" and "E" tagged and automatically assume that I wrote something to get off to, not that something sexually explicit might also have a greater story/point to it. (Although, don't get me wrong — writing something just to get off is super based, and I do that, as well.)

But they don't actually read my writing, and they won't, either. These complaints actually remind me of that PTA mom in Texas a few years back, who successfully complained and got books featuring sex pulled from the shelves — even though many of the books she complained about featured sexual assault/harassment.

The context doesn't matter, Christofascists— Sorry, I mean, fandom antis will always consider the content to be morally reprehensible. Sex is uniquely bad and not at all comparable to violence because the Church says so— Sorry, I mean... Because the Church says so, lol.

I appreciate you getting frustrated on my behalf! And don't worry, lol, this ask wasn't weird, haha. I actually think it's very kind of you. Yeah, that "unresponsive wall" bit is why I won't have a good faith conversation with random anon messages, anymore. If someone wants to talk to me like a normal person, my DMs are open!

Don't worry, I've been writing what I want for far too long to let randos online get me down. I get told to kill myself at least once a week, lol. They'll have to do better than that.

[writtenbynath]

Hi what are some risks associated with engaging with your content. I'm new around here. It's interesting but intimidating

My content? I just write opinions and advice. I don't make files.

What are some risks of interacting with kinky hypno files online? Now that's a good question!

The first time you try out a file made by someone you don't know, it's really hard to tell whether you're going to have a nice experience or not. You can check for the content warnings and the description, but that won't tell you all you need to know. If you're experienced with hypnokink, you can just use the file and trust in your own mind to reject the suggestions you don't want and wake yourself up if you don't like it. If you don't have those skills (well, you might practice on those skills with some files you know and like) you can skip forward through the file to see if you like the vibe of the file.

You can also investigate who the creator of the file is. You see, the file in my most reblogged post? Not mine. A little investigation would have told you that it's an old file by TheSecretSubject that helps you to develop the aforementioned skills of rejecting suggestions and waking yourself up. Digging around to find other files by the same creator and perhaps blog posts about their life tells you what kind of person they are and helps you decide whether you trust them. Sending them an anonymous ask will not reveal if they can be trusted or not.

Most youtubers and online creators have some kind of little community around them, with a discord server and other ways to interact. Be very critical about what you see and hear in such a community, it can tell you a lot about who the creator is as a person and whether you should trust them. Be very aware that interacting with a creator like that will often result in a parasocial relationship, remember that creators a re just people with their own lives, it's your responsibility to behave like a nice fan.

A few things you'll notice about creators who cannot be trusted: their little community feels like a cult where they worship the creator and they hate together on people who criticise them. Little cults like this have all the hallmarks: love-bombing, indoctrination by the creator as a teacher, isolation tactics to get you away from other online communities, an us-versus-them mentality and the expectation that you invest a lot of time in their community. If you're noticing things like this, get out now!

While SecretSubject is a wonderful person and a talented creator, there are many hypnotists out there who make files that can have a negative impact on your life. Here's my unsolicited advice on how to mitigate that negative impact.

Watching a file only once will have minimal impact. So, don't worry too much about the impact of a file you've watched only once. Files that you use daily or listen to on loop are the ones you should be really careful with. That could severely impact your life. Going cold turkey from such an experience is hard, but is a good solution to the problem. If you notice that the files you're listening to are making you unhappy in some way, I always recommend stopping cold turkey and focusing on your offline life for a week or so. Take good care of yourself.

Some files are designed to make triggers that can then be used by other files or by people you allow to use the trigger. Remember that they're your triggers, they're in your head, therefore you get to decide who uses them, and you get to decide when you don't want the triggers to work. If the file or the hypnotist you're talking to want to take this agency away from you, that's not OK. That's Consensual NonConsent material that you should only attempt with a trusted partner when you understand what you're getting yourself into.

Some files are designed to create a personality or alter ego like for example a bimbo or a sissy or a submissive slave. That's high risk stuff. If someone is trying to push you to listen to such files even though you're just starting out with hypno kink, get away from them! Personality play can have a big impact on your life, so again, only with a trusted partner when you understand what you're getting yourself into.

That's my advice about using hypno kink files.

[ripplestitchskein]

I've been binge reading your Helluva Boss and Stolitz posts for a while now and I love how mature and nuanced your takes are. I've run into a good deal too many Stolitz antis on Twitter who won't give Stolas and Blitzo's relationship a chance to improve later, despite the show clearly trying to do just that. I'm especially tired of people saying that their relationship is one-sided. And even when actual evidence is put out there that Blitzo actually does like Stolas back, they say it doesn't count because those hints are less than 5 second long small details rather than being spoonfed to them. Just argued with one of them on Twitter like an hour ago and that's exactly what they said. And they accused ME of not paying attention because in their mind, Stolitz was built up from sexual assault, and they think Blitzo's line in Western Energy "He can get hurt?" is somehow out of character which confused the hell out of me, and they kept insisting that Blitzo had "zero interest" in Stolas no matter what.

Thank you so much!! I do try my best to be as rational and logical as possible so I’m glad it’s coming through, not to say I don’t have emotionally based reactions or bias but in my meta analysis I try to set my personal feelings about the text presented aside and just talk about what it could potentially mean based on recurring elements, themes, and deliberate choices made throughout not just in individual scenes.

LooLoo Land is a perfect example, there are some moments in that episode I heavily dislike (Blitzø shoving the dolls down his pants, the “as long as she washes it” convo, and Stolas being sexually inappropriate in front of his kid) so I do understand some of the criticism. It was also episode two and being a creative myself I know firsthand that things like that happen. You put in things early, for a joke, a laugh, to highlight personalities and they don’t necessarily come across the way you intended or jive with where the story ends up. Which is why a lot of my analysis takes in the entirety of what we have so far, the recurring stuff, not just individual moments or one off lines.

I’ve always maintained that it’s crucial to remember that creators are not perfect beings who are getting their story from on high fully formed, they make mistakes, they get inspired and take things in a different direction as things develop, they can contradict themselves over time. It happens.

It’s also a cartoon so it’s limited in how much it can even do, how expressive the characters can be, how much time they have to explore and the medium absolutely comes into play when analyzing it. Art has always been and will always be subjective, and unless the creator flat out contradicts something it’s largely left to interpretation, but that interpretation cannot be based on one scene, or one episode, or a one off bit of dialogue or a single expression either.

I always encourage not wasting your time arguing with people who are still serving up early content talking points or who dont have media literacy as a learned skilled. I know it’s super hard, I’m guilty of it myself. I was so close to going off on a “Stella and Stolas are mutually abusive” take last night you have no idea. It was more the dude was just being deliberately obtuse to the point I stopped myself and was like “they have to be trolling, no way someone believes this”. You can’t change their minds, they obviously don’t want to engage with the material from a place of good faith, and it just bums you out at the end of it.

A lot of them are really young too I find, which may be part of the disparity. I’m 38 so I have a lot of different experiences to draw from they haven’t had yet. I’ve been a fandom girl since I was a kid, I’ve always been a shipper and I also create things so my perspective is further down the line and with lived experience some people don’t have yet. I’m reminded of this daily, my oldest son is 18 and we have many conversations where I’m reminded about how much you learn as you grow older and the assumptions you make as a younger person. This is not to say that younger people can’t think critically but it is a skill and it improves over time like any other.

I also encourage people to think of what is being said and why. There is a lot of hate for VivziePop as a person. My understanding is she said some things early on and created a hate base that is going to deliberately misinterpret just to validate their initial assumptions about her motive and character. With popular things there is always a small subset that hate a show because of its popularity too, I don’t think because they are jealous like some speculate but because they didn’t personally enjoy it and don’t like feeling like they are missing something, so they take it in a “it must be the children who are wrong” Principal Skinner approach. They can’t see why people love it so those people must be ignoring what they didn’t like about it and they must tell them.

Sometimes people like another ship or another character more, and their ship might involve one half of yours, or they don’t feel their character is getting the same focus and attention because of yours. So instead of just letting everyone enjoy their own things it’s now a competition, a source of resentment and they must make that everyone else’s problem.

And I’ve talked about the fascistic purity culture that seems to encroach into fiction spaces as well that is also at heavily play. Any time a character does anything that is vaguely “toxic”, “problematic” they are immediately painted with the SA brush, the creator is promoting it and the fans are enabling it and are somehow directly responsible for it existing in the world. You can’t do anything about them except enjoy what you like, look at it critically within your own personal comfort level, and as always, my favorite thing to say “kill the cop in your head.” Not just with fiction but everything.

I’m glad my analysis is being enjoyed, and I super appreciate your feedback on it. Come to my inbox anytime and we’ll enjoy the ride together!

[arcane-vagabond]

I’m so glad you’re calling this out! People don’t respect boundaries and were made to look like the villains.

Tbh, I deleted the post you’re talking about after some confusion. I don’t think I worded some of it correctly, so I’ll rewrite it here.

I love supporting my friends and their fics. I love chatting with the fellow content creators one on one about their fics. I love talking about new ideas about the fics they want to write. When I reblog a fic with something along the lines of “Ah!! I’m so excited you’ve finally posted this! I’ve been waiting!!” It’s not because they mentioned it once on their blog, it’s literally because I have been talking to them in private chats about the work.

When someone I don’t really talk to or have never had a conversation with apart from the occasional one sentence reblog or comment starts tagging me in things? That’s where I have an issue. My blog is not a bulletin board or ad space for people to put their fics on. I try to reblog fics that don’t have very many notes, I really do (I’ve also been going through a bit of a reader’s block lately). I remember what it was like first starting out on this site as a first time fic author and being so excited to get ten notes on my fic. Now I’m nearing a milestone! I did that by tagging my fics with the proper hashtags and interacting with people who chose to read them. I never in a million years thought so many of you would want to read my silly little stories.

So believe me when I say, I totally get feeling wanting more people to see your fics. I wish more people saw mine too, but I’m very grateful for the people who stumble upon them and take the time to read them.

I also think it’s very interesting that when authors and other content creators on here set boundaries, we get such immense flashback from readers. We’re people, y’all, and the fact that we have to keep reminding everyone about that fact is, quite frankly, worrisome. We are not machines. We do not do this for a living. I do this for fun, and when I get push back for trying to set a boundary, whatever that boundary may be, it makes this less fun.

Again, I can’t speak for the other writers on there (but believe me when I say several conversations have been had), but for me personally? It all goes back to the fact that content creators are being stripped of their humanity. I remember how fun and interactive fandom used to be before everything started being monetized. I used to get asks left and right without even having written fanfic! Fandom used to be a huge community filled with laughter and debates like “did these two characters bang?” “That character is asexual and here’s why” “I wrote a fic that I think you might like and here’s the link. No pressure to read it though!”, not “here’s another update. Here’s another update.” “You haven’t posted in a couple of days, when are we getting an update?” “Will you read this and reblog it?”

Idk, I had this conversation the other day, and maybe I just need to accept the fact that fandom as I knew it is dead and gone. In another life, I would have really loved giggling about fics and headcanons with you all.

Anyway, can we please stop making content creators out to be the villains when they ask to be treated like human beings and not soulless machines?

[nyarlathotep-the-dark-pharaoh]

do you have any advice for amall youtubers looking to grow their audience? you're awesome btw

There are a number of things that you can do to ensure healthy growth of your audience: Post on other socials! Especially make sure to take your clips and post them on short-form video platforms like TikTok, YouTube Shorts, and Instagram Reels. These platforms get an incredible amount of traffic and this is where you can sell yourself. People become familiar with you while scrolling and when they do decide to consume long form content like live streams, you'll be a friendly face that sticks out.

Deceive, deceive, deceive. Don't let your new viewers know that they are part of an audience. Tell them it's something else, just a YouTube channel, or a casual live stream. Make it feel like a safe space, someplace people can come to really be themselves and just hang out. Once they've spent enough time, start establishing that your audience is in fact, the only place they can really be themselves. It should feel urgent to them that they get involved with your community, join the discord so they can finally talk to someone who gets it. Now, reach out to them. You, their streamer, their god, approach them in DMs. Make sure to be humble, they're already a worshipper and it will only make them trust you more. Start offering special perks, powers, rewards, secret knowledge. Let them in the "in-group." This is much easier if you're a god or monster but you'd be surprised how many mortals have got away with this over the years. If you do have access to magic, then you should appoint your most trusted followers as your warlock mods, who will grant boons to the devoted. You're a very busy creator after all! If you don't have any special powers and are having trouble deceiving your followers, you can join me on Patreon where I give out lessons in dark magics and warlockery (starts at 10$/month.)

Make sure to place your audience in an appropriate spot for the amount of sunlight they need. My audience is hungry for sun so I keep it on my windowsill but many audiences prefer partial shade. Don't forget to repot your audience every couple of years. Don't make the mistake of cutting them when they Bloom! It takes a lot of energy to Bloom and contrary to popular myth, it doesn't kill the mouths. You probably shouldn't need to feed them, they can generally handle themselves, but if you notice that growth is slowing down (and its not because of a Bloom) you might want to provide some extra food, though not too much. Remember, they're carnivorous.

[parkminijiminie]

https://www.tumblr.com/teenagegardengladiator/733072566651092992/jk-will-never-outgrow-his-crush-for-jimin-lol?source=share

Why can't they once be like normal frnds and talk about e/o without giggling and shit? why they always giggly mess when they're together?

You know what? Now i actually want that jkk live cause i wanna see exactly how they act especially jk cause i know jm is pretty good with his expression and things prepared it's jk who looks mess around jm.

No but listen like i honestly don't get how and why they're always like this when they're together on cam? I remember the 2021 jm's birthday live so even then jk did went to jm he was still like i have to go and workout but jm was like noooo and then came hobi and jk suddenly forgot he has workout to do? And I'm specifically talking about 2021 cause if i had mentioned something recent people would be like"well Maybe Because they don't spend time together so they're awkward" that's why I'm using this from 2021 where everything was going perfectly fine and THIS still happened so what I'm saying is WHY? Why is it hard for them to be infront of cam like normal frnds do, like they always do with other members?

Also as you mentioned in your post earlier that it's not jk's fault that people hates jm i agree with that cause belive me if it was jm going to jk's suchwita he would have been called names but since it's tae tkkrs would eat up the supposed "company content" had it been jm whom jk said "don't come we're in the middle of shooting" they would have made a big deal just like they did when jk jokingly said No to jm when he went to jm's practice.

Thing is tkkrs hates jm with passion so they will always always find something to shit on him. Jk just only described things how it went. Just like how he also mentioned that he went with tae and his frnds to skii and literally stayed behind alone no one was with him later cause everyone went home but he alone stayed cause he was enjoying it too much. Now had it been jkk they would have said "yes they went with frnds and jk was even alone at the end Omega mimi left with his frnds and didn't even stopped for his boyfriend" like believe me anon they will always find a way. But since it's tkk they ignored the whole last part of that thing where jk said he alone stayed behind.

Been here for 4+ yrs and i can give you the exact line/dialogue tkkrs would pull out of they asses for everything jkk does. It's just repetitive and nothing new.

And yes before getting mad at jk remember that he's the only one who has quite literally mentioned jm all the time, asking him for lives, watching his content like remove those moments and see what are the things you're left with.

Also stop seeing jm and jk as someone who's content provider. Take whatever they give you with love or leave that's the only option.

Preach, Anon, preach!!! 1000% this! Especially the part that JK and JM aren't content creators. After all, their job isn't shipping, it is just a side effect of their job. By now, all of them are simply living their life and all of us should just take what we are given.

Anyway, as a fan of BTS for 7+ years, I am so used to taekookers' antics that I don't even need to read their posts. When smth happens involving either JK, Tae, or JM, separately or as a pair, I immediately know what their narrative would be. They are deranged and completely predictable, but unfortunately, far from harmless..

Anyway, I have no idea why Jikook are the way they are. They are very confusing to me, especially nowadays. The chemistry they have with each other is so strong. Their interactions are always so charged and so different that with other ships, especially on Jungkook's part. Is it just how they are as friends? What type of friendship is even that? If they have partners, how are two people standing this shit? Why, just why why why why are they always so awkward when they have been friends for more than a decade now?

What I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall during an off-camera Jikook interaction..