#just really wish people understood how it actually feels to be in this position

[endlessfuckup]

I originally wrote after seeing a post joking about a very serious thing that happened to dan and phil back in 2012.

I wrote it because the post triggered some really upsetting memories for me. I had gone through that exact thing on a smaller scale and it ruined my life for a long time.

I was going to delete it because it seemed too far and too personal.

But, I think people should read it anyway.

imagine if you posted private thoughts & photos of yourself to a place where you are certain only you and maybe, at most, 20 or so people will see them-

its your only safe place...

now imagine if suddenly a lot more than 20 people find out who you are. like millions of people. and, despite your best efforts, they find what you thought was your most deeply hidden secrets.

oh shit...

your employers see them. your coworkers see them. your friends all know now. oh god your fucking family have now seen that. All of it sent to them by some of the many complete strangers that watch you online.

oh fuck nonono...

What do you even do? What do you even say? You have no idea who or how many have seen.

maybe everyone has.....

There is nothing you can do but try to minimize the damage being done. all by yourself.

its just impossible..

what feels like the entire planet is pointing, laughing, calling you slurs and telling you to kys

you seriously consider it for a moment...

you have to just go on silently pretending that nothing happened at all. Live. On. Camera. in front of the entire fuckin world

How the fuck would you feel?

[rainingincale]

.

[dont-look-its-embarrassing]

To be Understood

Second part to "To be Seen"

Hey! I honestly didn't think people would like the last drabble as much as they did and I didn't have a pt.2 planned, but I decided to try and see where it goes.

Also, I am new to actually posting something and having feedback or having people want to be tagged, so I didn't do something right in the tagging process pls let me know :)

I am going to make this a little series bc I cannot fit the entirety of the story in one and actually make it comprehensive and not 10,000+ words in one one-shot. :)))

Plus, I think I could make this just the right amount of heart wrenching and fluffy >:)

Summary: Following up on his promise to keep a more watchful position in your newly transitioned life, Azriel attempts to get to know you and spend time in your presence. After the panic attack in the town of Velaris, more seeing eyes has been turned towards you from your friends. They are trying to make sure you are accounted for more than before, but time and pressure has some things slipping. Multiple awkward encounters and attempts to see eye to eye to the spymaster (in particular) leads to an intimate confession between the two of you.

Warnings: Slight mentions of PTSD recovery, anxiety, self-doubt, slight!jealous Azriel, Cassian is testing the waters with his brother again

Words: 2,668

previous part

The sun was the first thing your eyes adjusted to upon waking up. The slight breeze from the open window brought in the fresh smell of the dew and had your body relaxing further into the comfy sheets as the temperature in the room reflected that of outside. The eccentricity of your room bringing comfort and serenity and the little nicknacks you have collected since being here allowed a cozy feeling to emulate throughout it.

Feyre even mentioned how jealous she was of how comfortable and warm your room is, and mentioned she couldn’t get hers to be similar even when she tried.

The memory had you smiling.

Stretching underneath the comfortable weighted comforter, you pull back the edge, allowing your body to be exposed to the colder air. Grabbing the longer silk robe that hung beside you, you made your way out of your comfort zone to the hallway towards the kitchen. Ever since your moment within the town, Feyre, Cassian, Mor, everyone had made sure that you were taken care of and heard. It took some time to get used to, admittedly, all the extra attention. At first you had slightly resented it as you could only imagine it as an act of pity and after you had an episode, you also understood that the type of thinking is how the eldest Archereon is as cold as she is. Plus, the time you spend with them has created strong bonds and happy memories for you.

It also had you picking up new hobbies that you never had time for before.

Turns out you can cook.

And bake.

Really well actually.

So well that often times when you bake a new treat or snack, upon knowing of its presence, the residents of the house would have it gone within the hour. It made you feel good, to be able to repay in some way the aid they have given you.

The mystery that is your abilities have yet to be explored since the outburst, but you also didn’t mind as your head was finally wrapping around the circumstances you have been put through. Although, the High Lord or Rhys, had expressed interest in potentially figuring it out soon to see if it could help them and the court. You were all over it, and the aspect of integrating into this family further made you excited.

Arriving in the kitchen, you begin gathering ingredients to make breakfast. The house, although it can provide anything you wish for food, seemed to pick up on your therapeutic hobby and promoted it. Even gathering ingredients and appearing them before you on the counterspace. You always chalked it up to the house wanting a break from constantly taking care of people, but deep down you knew it seemed to have a little soft spot for you. Whipping together the batter, throwing it in the divine oven and cooking the meats to perfection, the breakfast is ready in about an hour.

The sun had settled into the sky, far from shining over the horizon which had its’ light wake you.

It was still early though.

Looking at the spread before you, you had asked the house to keep it warm and ready for everyone as they began to roll out of bed and chase the heavenly scent of pancakes, bacon and omelet.

It was Azriel’s favorite.

The skin of your cheeks flared at the thought and shook your head at how absurd you are. Cooking and baking for everyone allowed you to take notice of things that they had favored over the rest, often being expressed vocally. However, some, like the spymaster, just through body language and action would key you into likes and dislikes. Feyre loved eggs benedict, in almost nauseatingly cuteness, so did her mate. When you would make it, almost as a sixth sense, those two would always be the first to arrive and express how happy the dish made them before gathering a large plate. Cassian was a sandwich guy, anything quick and simple, but he swears you enchant the sausage and bacon you add to be sweet and salty at the same time. On those days you often must make a bounty of those little sandwiches for him to take with him for the day. Mor liked simple muffins and like Cass, would wrap one up to go while giving you a hug on her way out. Nesta and Elaine hadn’t showed up for breakfast but the youngest seemed to prefer oatmeal, which ironically was also her favorite while human.

Azriel was the hardest to read. With every dish you made, breakfast/lunch/dinner, he would appreciate and eat like a man starved (an exaggeration but you always found your eyes on him anyway). You had switched up the recipes and altered the assortment of foods, but every time he would tell you how much he liked it and clear the plate.

It wasn’t until you truly watched him did you found out just how much he loved the simple things in life.

It was a day like any other, you had cooked breakfast and set up the table for a nice meal as you had known everyone would be able to sit and eat together. It was uncommon so you made a tried-and-true love by everyone.

Bacon, eggs and pancakes with homemade lavender syrup that you asked Elaine to harvest for you in her garden.

As everyone sat, you couldn’t help but let your eyes stare as the spymaster sat down fresh out of bed and allowed a little small smile to grace his features looking at the plate he had. It was all you needed to know, and each time you would serve something new, you would watch for the little ticks that he would allow to shine through.

A smile.

A little sigh and relief of tension from his shoulders.

A gentle extra “Thank you” which he would all but whisper across the table to you.

All of it had your heart thumping and blood rushing to your face, allowing that little butterfly to turn into hundreds.

After his comment after taking you home, he had made his presence around you more common and you loved it. Every time the two of you were together time became irrelevant, the serene sense that would settle over your body was addictive. You had only prayed that he got the same sense of belonging.

He was such a pretty male.

So gentle and observant.

It was so hard to not have your feelings bleed into your everyday life and movements. It wasn’t long after the incident with him that your thoughts were all but consumed by him.

Not that you were complaining.

“It smells divine in here.” The soft sound of Mor broke you out of your rather long thoughts of Az, as an easy smile fell over your face.

“I wanted to make something simple today.” You shrug, but meeting the second hand’s eyes, you stumbled slightly.

“How are you settling in Y/n?” Her tone was inquisitive, but the smile that bloomed her face left you choking.

“Well.” You coughed, “I’m settling in well.”

“Anyone in particular helping you out?” You narrowed your eyes to her.

“Everyone has been amazing.”

“Oh, come on Y/n!” She shuffled towards you as mischief glinted in her eyes. “You can tell me; we all see it.”

Your heart stopped.

“All?” Her light laughter halted.

“No not all, some though.” Your breathing resumed. “I highly doubt if you wrote a sign with all these love meals, he still wouldn’t see it.” It was chastising, lovingly, but still with a little edge to it.

“He is just being friendly Mor.” You argue with a sigh. It was the one thought you couldn’t get out of your head. Viewing his relationship with everyone and his attentiveness towards Elaine. You couldn’t help but just feel as if he enjoyed your presence, but as a friend.

Mor sighed and looked towards the still steaming pile of pancakes and syrup.

“I know it can be difficult to believe, but he’s more relaxed around you. If any two people deserve to be happy or even have a shot, it’s you two.” The sounds of footsteps down the hall had her breaking away from you but not without a nod sent towards her. You would be open to him and the idea, more than just the little crush you have accumulated.

The in-question footsteps that had the conversation halting belonged to Feyre, Rhys and the male in question. Most likely fresh from training as small beads of sweat pooled on their skin and hair showed dampness.

You watched the spymaster’s eyes alight, taking in the assortment of his favorites on the counter. He quickly grabbed a plate, effortlessly and unbeknownst to his high lord and lady, cutting in front of them to scoop his desired piles.

“Y/n, you are the most amazing person I have ever met.” Feyre exclaimed as her body seemed to quiver with the simple task of standing, but her obviously salivating mouth had her also reaching for cutlery and plates to pile stuff onto. Rhys laughed in response to her antics and followed suit, thanking you in the process as both followed the now seated Azriel to the table. It was sweet, his honor to wait for you to be seated and with food to begin eating. You could tell some days it really tried his control; however, those days you knew without a shadow of a doubt that he truly loved the food that had been prepared. Glancing back towards the table, you met eyes briefly with Azriel.

The warmth that showed in them had you ignite with hope and adoration towards the male, almost uncontrollably so. It had you smiling and fiddling at the ends of your hair.

The following sounds of heavier steps broke your attention.

“Can I just say, I am in love with you.” Cassian entered the kitchen with heat and brought you into a quick embrace. The smell of sweat and sand had you scrunching your nose but the laugh that exited you had him add a little spin before setting you down.

The soft sound of a chair being moved echoed as you didn’t realize the table had become quiet, watching.

Mor had a shit eating grin, but not at you, but at the now walking over Spymaster. The same spymaster picked up your loaded plate (you were waiting for everyone to be served before doing so yourself) and brought it back to the table, setting it down in the open seat across from himself. You tilted your head but caught the small look between the mates at the table, notably having a non-verbal conversation. Looking back at the general, he too had a smile, but one only aimed at you and the food in front of you.

“I’ll be over once I pile the rest of the bacon on.” Another laugh emitted from you as you walked over to your place, noting the food had been set down gently and not disturbed when Azriel had placed it.

You looked up and met his hazel eyes, there was a slight edge to it, but not at you. In fact, when you met his eyes, you could’ve sworn they melted from that ice back to the warmth that was once there before.

The settling of plates had you glance over at Cassian. He was only a seat away from, you but on the other side of the table.

Easy conversation settled over the table as everyone began to eat. Taking bites of your eggs and bacon, a small moan of appreciation rattled through you. You caught movement in your peripheral where Azriel sat, but didn’t bother to check or see what it was assuming it was just him enjoying his meal.  Even you had to admit this was good. Similar sounds followed suit as everyone dug in and the sounds of scraping of plates that filled the room.

“Are you busy today?” Cassian piped up after shoveling a rather large mouthful of egg. You shook your head; you didn’t think you had anything planned but were going to ask if Azriel had a couple hours to spare for some time alone with him to talk. You opened your mouth to speak, but before you could Az had cleared his throat and spoke up.

“We have plans.” The room turned towards the male as he stared at his brother, the ice returning to his gaze. You wracked your brain trying to make sure you didn’t forget plans that you had made prior but came up empty. That grin from Mor returned as she made eye contact with you.

Suddenly the leftover soggy pancakes on your plate looked really interesting.

“Oh?” The brother threw back. Looking over to Cassian again, you nodded along feigning innocence.

“I’m sorry, I must’ve forgotten for a moment.” Although you knew your best friend and possibly Mor clocked it quick, you allowed the easy smile to lay it on thick with the general. He returned it and nodded along, taking the lie for a simple slip of the mind.

“No problem, but when you’re free I want to show you around the training grounds. I think it could be good for you.” Your chest filled with pride again, even some that you didn’t think could be your own, but none the less made you feel all nice. As everyone cleaned up and filed out, you caught eyes with Azriel.

His shoulders were tense.

Nervous even.

The depth of his shadows swirled around him as he took particularly long to wash up his plate.

Watching the last of your friends exit the kitchen and the food clean itself up and put away, you made light steps over to the shadowsinger.

“So, what’s on the agenda today?” You ask. The feign confidence of your words had Az glancing over with a small smile. Releasing a little sigh, he removed his eyes from his now empty hands which wrapped around the front of the sink. He had leaned into it, seemingly matching your confident air.

“Anything you want, sunshine.” Your cheeks flushed as you looked away. Today was a record for heat that entered your face. You tried your best not to allow the nerves in your stomach to ruin the encounter.

You would be fine.

It’s just two friends hanging out.

All normal here.

But the ideas that Mor had fed into your brain ran rampant.

“There is a bakery and some shops I want to explore. Can we go today?” You originally had plans to go with Feyre. In fact, she had made you swear you wouldn’t go without her because she heard the pastries were divine.

She would forgive you once she knew who you went with instead.

“Of course, I’ve been meaning to make a couple stops as well. We can go together.” You couldn’t help the small seed of selfishness from talking as you held eye contact with the male.

“Can you fly us down? I’m still not used to winnowing.” It was the most believable lie you have ever let slip past your lips, but you didn’t feel sorry about it. Would you ever admit it was because you wanted to be pressed against him with adrenaline rushing through you? Or that you wanted to feel his strong arms hold you without a single ounce of sweat or issue? Perhaps that you wanted to smell his scent of frost and night and hope to any god that would listen that it would cling to the sweater you would wear. Not if your life depended on it and there was a sword slitting your throat.

However, something in the way Azriel’s eyes darkened slightly and his smile turned into a smirk had you second guessing how thoroughly your ulterior motives had been hidden.

“Anything for you Sunshine, wouldn’t dream of making you ill.”

He clocked it.

Tags:

@starswholistenanddreamsanswered @willowpains @adventure-awaits13 @

[wizlizbelle3]

You don't need to feel it real + What SATs actually is

I'm going to link a reddit success story which I think explains SATs best and it's something I needed to remind myself as well. There's so much misinformation out there and people who say "oh you need to use all your 5 senses to do SATs correctly"

NO! The whole point is to detach from the 3D and focus on that 4D space and you can't do that if you're using your senses. Also, SATs is a state where you can barely even remember what your desire even is. Everytime I did SATs correctly, I couldn't remember my scene.

The reason it didn't manifest in the 3D is because I realized I was too tired and just gave up and went to sleep. But if you'e in the same boat then this post is gonna be really helpful for you. Please read all the way through properly.

So SATs is literally a state akin to sleep. Akin means similar to. So a state where you're basically asleep but also awake. You can move your body but you don't *want* to. You're too relaxed and tired. It's not a magical position or something where you can only do sats if you don't breathe for 3 hours or something. You're literally supposed to be super tired and the main key to manifesting through SATs is that your desire should be the last thought before you let go of waking consciousness. That's why it manifests because you re-direct your focus onto your desire which your subconscious then takes into command to reflect in your 3D.

This person in the success story did not even visualize. They just accepted it before they fell asleep. They didn't even loop the affirmation. Just before they knew they were super tired and going to bed, they affirmed once that they will receive good news regarding the health of their father. That's it. In a few hours, when they woke up, they got the news that their father will be fine. But the one thing that stands out to me is that people misinterpret what Neville initially said about SATs and this person understood it unintentionally.

Here's an excerpt from Neville's Q & A that somebody posted in the comments:

Question: I would think that if you get too much into the sleepy state there would be a lack of feeling.

Answer: When I speak of feeling I do not mean emotion, but acceptance of the fact that the desire is fulfilled. Feeling grateful, fulfilled, or thankful, it is easy to say, “Thank You,” “Isn’t it wonderful!” or “It is finished.” When you get into the state of thankfulness, you can either awaken knowing it is done, or fall asleep in the feeling of the wish fulfilled.

So the key is not to force yourself to be happy or feel some emotion but to remind yourself that you have it. You have to ACCEPT that you have it. I asked Chatgpt how to accept something. Here's what bbgirl told me:

Recognize and Acknowledge

What to do: Acknowledge the reality of what you have, whether it's something physical, emotional, or situational.

For Positive Manifestations: Celebrate it and affirm, “This is mine now.”

For Challenges or Conditions: Gently affirm, “This is my current reality, and I accept it.”

Why it helps: Naming and recognizing something removes resistance and denial.

Practice Gratitude

What to do:

Be grateful for what you have. Say, “Thank you for this. I am so glad it’s part of my life.”

Focus on the benefits or lessons it brings.

Why it helps: Gratitude shifts your focus from resistance to appreciation.

Let Go of Resistance

What to do:

Notice if you’re resisting emotionally or mentally.

Practice letting go of "what ifs" or "why nots" by focusing on the present.

Why it helps: Resistance keeps you stuck. Letting go allows for smoother integration.

MY TIPS:

Thank yourself. "Omg thank you me for being so amazing".

Affirm. Robotic affirming DOES WORK and it helps majorly with any other technique you use. Some people can just understand what the void is and apply but people who are suffering a lot can have doubts so do the robotic affirming. Do everything you believe in so your mind doesn't have the option to resist. Replace your thoughts with you desires by affirming. Listen to the right subs (I updated my playlist and will update it further) and just relax. You have to remind yourself that you have it already.

Let me know if y'all have questions!

Edit: I'm sorry I didn't even attach the link lol https://www.reddit.com/r/NevilleGoddard/comments/130mrwo/i_finally_did_sats_right_and_it_felt_completely/

[ssentimentals]

seventeen members as love tropes: jun

arranged marriage

'i looked into your eyes and wished all of this was true'

very few things can faze wen junhui - blank stares and emotionless facial expressions are on top of the things he mastered since childhood, because not letting anyone know what you're feeling proved to be an effective tactic in his family. which, he guesses, says a lot about his family but junhui is not someone who gnaws on the fate. it what it is, he's too self-aware of how many people would kill to be in his position to ever feel sorry for himself. but right now? when he stares at the name of his future wife neatly written next to his in a marriage contract? he thinks he's allowed to feel just a tad bit sorry.

'she's a lovely girl,' he hears his mother say. he then listens to multiple benefits this marriage is going to bring to both participants and while junhui is loyal and will never betray his family or the role they gave him in their business world, bitter taste in his mouth doesn't go away. he kind of wants to throw up or break something, but all he manages is a short: 'understood' and a curt nod to his driver, signaling him that they should go.

he meets you for the first time one week later and turns out that you are a lovely girl. obviously not thrilled at the idea of marrying someone your parents picked for you, but at least you're too polite and nice to lash it all out on junhui. he lets himself relax and open up a little, which then turns to a lot because there's something about you that makes him feel.. safe. secure. like he can actually say what he really thinks, talk about his feelings. it's equally freeing and scary.

'this doesn't have to become a nightmare for both of us,' you say quietly, looking up at him with serious eyes. 'we are both mature adults, we can work this out, right?'

junhui absentmindedly thinks that he hasn't seen you smile yet. he has a high suspicion that it suits you much more than this serious look and he suddenly really wants to see it. maybe be even the reason of it? 'i have no intention in making this horrible for you,' he answers sincerely. 'if anything, i'm really sorry that you've been dragged into this mess. i'll try my best to make it work for both of us, i promise.'

and ah, there is your smile. it does suit you way more and it did make junhui feel something funny in his chest. 'we have one week, wen junhui. let's make it count, yeah?'

and make it count you did. jun is nothing short of purposeful and he dedicated all of his planning to making sure this week before official wedding will be perfect. perfect in a way of it just being him and you without any distractions, learning more about each other. he watches you, listens to you, makes an effort to dig deeper and open up himself too and no one is more surprised than jun himself when week later he's actually excited to go and sign the papers.

'one ice latte and cinnabon bun for a beautiful girl with a sweet tooth,' he announces, carefully placing both items on the table in front of you. your eyes light up and light blush dusts your cheek and jun has never been more thankful for his attention to details and good memory. if he can make you smile like that just by doing such simple things, he's fine with doing them for the rest of his life. 'how are you feeling, my future wife? ecstatic?'

'almost fainting from enthusiasm,' you deadpan but smile you give him is real. 'what about you, my future husband? happy beyond belief?'

junhui pauses. answer comes out of his mouth before he can think it through: 'i am, actually.'

he watches your eyes widen at this and atmosphere changes from funny banter to something heavy and serious. and maybe he can take it back, but he doesn't want to. he is happy. god, he's more happy than he's ever been in his life, so excited of the prospect of having all this time to spend with you, to get closer to you, to maybe - just maybe, cause a guy can hope, right? - turn this arranged 'fake' marriage into something real. and it's probably so stupid to think this way, to be this attracted to the person you know for one week only, but he can't help it. you are good, and nice, and thoughtful, and funny, and oh so lovely - junhui is a strong guy, but he's not a robot, he couldn't not fall for you. his mind runs a mile in a second but it all quiets down when you reach out and take his hand in yours. slowly, like you're afraid to spook him, you interlace fingers together, clasping them in a tight lock. junhui stops breathing. could it be that you-?

'i am happy, too.' you say and you're serious and honest, he can feel it. 'i was so against this whole thing at first but then i met you and.. i'm happy, junhui. i'm happy that it's you.'

very few things can faze wen junhui - but you? you are the only one who gets past blank stares and emotionless replies, you get to see the real him and you somehow liked what you saw. just for that junhui is ready to give you the world.

'i promise we will work this out,' jun says, throat surprisingly tight with emotions. 'i promise this will not become a cage or a nightmare for you. i promise it'll grow into something...' beautiful just like you? lovely just like your smile? '..real.'

the smile you gift him is brighter than sun itself. 'something real?' you stand up and get closer to him. 'i'd like that very much, wen junhui.'

very few things can faze wen junhui - but you? his hand shakes when he signs the paper and for the first time ever he feels...hopeful. he takes one look at you and sees you already looking at him with a small smile on your face. with confidence, he reaches out and you meet him halfway, locking your hands together. for some reason, looking into your eyes, junhui is more than sure that this 'real' will work out just perfectly.

a/n: i know everyone is used to me being more poetic but my brain kind of shut down and this is what happened. hope you still liked it, let me know, come say hi! - nini

my other works can be found here

[harrypotterfuryroad]

What was your journey with all this? Did you at one point blindly agree and then learn new things that changed your mind (like I did) or were you skeptical from the start?

so i was never all in, but i had plenty of friends that were, and when it first started taking off in my social circles (2013ish) i tried my best to keep up with the lingo and be supportive. after all there's a lot of stuff i know i don't understand and who am i to discredit people's lived experiences? my degrees are all in biology so i never bought into the "humans can change sex actually" line, but if the wishful thinking made someone's life easier then sure fine i guess.

the cracks first started to show for me when nonbinary started popping up as a concept. broadly i understood what it was trying to do, but my two instant questions were "isn't everyone a little masculine and a little feminine?" and "if people are uncomfortable with being sorted into box A or box B, how does building box C help them?" i kept asking (out of genuine curiosity) and no one could give me an answer that made sense. obviously i could rattle off now about how this is because the whole thing is built on stereotypes but i was still trying to smile and nod my way through it at the time

my time in my phd program really solidified things for me for a couple reasons. like obv it overlapped with the general rise to prominence of all of this so it was kinda hard to miss, but also i was in an area with a really strong gay community so i got to see firsthand how it took root and grew from there. i saw a prominent local lesbian activist get ousted from my city's lgbt council for butting heads with a tim, and i saw the gradual shift from gay men being super comfortable playing around with the boundaries of dress and behavior to continuous questioning if someone is "one of the dolls" now because he wore a dress once

but also my phd was specifically about a lot of the issues that pop up in this whole debate, like social stress, adolescent development, sex differences in adulthood, and even a little bit about how social media is replacing normal social interaction but isn't meeting the same needs, so i'm watching all this happen while i'm reading papers from as early as the 70s that are basically predicting these exact patterns (then covid hit and amplified everything i was already seeing)

basically i just got more comfortable recognizing when someone is scientifically illiterate but really good at projecting confidence. i had a couple friends who were on lupron (for its on-label use, not as a puberty blocker) and each one had a terrible time, with really intolerable side effects. i looked into it more and it turns out these side effects are really common, which made me think this is a drug that made it through clinical trials but hadn't really taken off commercially so the company is trying to clean up its image or find a new market for it (something we were trained to notice in my phd program). then the drug started getting touted as safe and reversible for kids, and i just finally let myself feel comfortable getting angry about that. if you're saying this drug is safe, you're either lying or uninformed. lupron is the same story as viagra (where its more well-known use wasn't its initial intended use) but with all the leverage of the biggest social justice movement of the day, and it doesn't take much to recognize that without that clout there's no way to positively spin the junk data it's producing

other things i looked into more where the party line falls apart as soon as you screen out the spin: the trans murder rate, the trans suicide rate, prevalence and mechanisms of DSDs, the impact of adolescent testosterone levels on adult physical performance, neurological correlates of gender identity, and what a chromosome is

[williaml0ver]

Ok ok ok, hear me out- Naib x a charismatic!sunshine!reader who tries his best to cheer everyone up in the manor 👀👀

☆ <3 Naib Subedar With a Sunshine Like s/o ☆ <3

[🖇️] word count: 1213

[🖇️] warnings: g/n reader, Naib's a little grumpy

[🖇️] author's note: first of all THIS IS MY FIRST REQUEST EVER i'm emotional thank you so much 😭🫂 i honestly wasn't sure how to portray reader's personality well sooo this may not entirely be focused around it but i tried my best in sneaking some traits here and there, hope you'll enjoy this!

☆ ☆ ☆

-You make his stay at the gloomy manor more bearable.

-Wouldn't understand you at first, because what's so nice and exciting about having to stay in this cursed place?

-He would have some suspicions towards you. He would be convinced that you're hiding some cruel intentions behind this bright smile. You would quickly notice how strange he's acting around you, and yeah, he is kind of stiff around most people, but you're feeling a whole new level of coldness here.

-Naib's attitude would spark amusement among other manor residents, at some point the rumous get to you.

-What can you say, you did feel surprised, thought felt a little bad for the mercenary, his life was probably filled with many dangerous moments and he grew cautious of his surroundings. Who can blame him?

-You decided to get closer to him, step by step. Start with something small, like initiating short conversations. His answer would be very short at first. That challenge is not for the faint hearted. You won't give up.

-Naib would just notice a weird pattern how you recently started talking to him more and eventually sense danger. He'd make himself clear and possibly threaten you.

-I think the best way to make him let his guard down is to have a honest conversation with him. Let him known your thoughts. Naib, slowly, would actually open up to you.

-Whenever in a bad mood, he would unconsciously be looking forward to seeing you again. There's just something about your smile, positive attitude and the little jokes you make. He craves comfort.

-Let's make this clear: he has no idea why you're being so kind towards HIM. He'd see you casually handing out small trinkets and laughing together with other people who did much more evil things than him, but he would still be in denial, does he really deserve this?

-Yet something would make him appreciate your way of being. Something would make him want to be near you, spend more time with you... get together with you?

-Yeah, it was a hard thing for him to admit he's got a crush. How awkward would that be... he definitely isn't saying that out loud.

-Funny thing is that you've also grown fond of the green hooded boy. Overly grown. There just was something about his cautiousness and hints of mystery. You quickly spotted how diffrently he started treating you compared to others lately. You even caught him softly smiling during your small talk.

-It wasn't long until you became a couple. One would think Naib would not make the first move, however he wished to show his gratitude to you, he just wasn't sure how!

-The mercenary ended up giving you a simple boquet of flowers. But what really touched you was his speech. He was usually a man of few words, so you quickly understood how important this was to him. His speech felt very honest and emotional: Naib was touched by so many things you have done for him, although for you they were something absolutely ordinary.

-He would feel relieved that you accepted his feelings and feel shocked finding out you feel the same.

-Spending time with you on a daily basis made him change his personality a little. Yes, he would still be THE mercenary when needed, no doubt, but overall he'd become more open. Seeing him go from someone very closed off to a suprisingly cheeky person made you melt. You felt glad that you helped him grow.

-Isn't afraid of showing PDA.

-Whenever someone new enters the Oletus manor they would immediately feel like this is some inside joke between the both of you, because how would that even make any sense? A cold hearted mercenary walking hand in hand with the literal definition of a ray of light? Truth is, you are a great match for Naib! Your relationship is perfectly balanced.

-Perfect example of a grumpy/cheerful duo.

-It was not a rare sight to see the mercenary utterly tired after his matches. Being a rescuer was a demanding position. It was a good thing other players trust and depend on him, but on the other hand the big pressure can cause a huge toll on his calmness.

-If someone got chaired, everyone else expects Naib to go to the rescue, even if he's currently far, far away. Of course, Naib learnt to control stress and work in difficult situations much before he even found out about the manor, but that didn't change the fact that post-match he'd isolate himself from everyone else.

-From everyone else besides you.

-You are his escape from reality. His soft spot. Naib has no idea how you've did it, but you managed to win him over completely. You're always trying to make him smile with this mysterious comforting aura, whether it's with words of affirmation and telling him he's done all in his power, how strong and devoted he is or with gentle touches, like holding his hand and kissing his palms.

-It's therefore no secret that during his bad days he wants you to be near.

-You can spend several together hours together just laying and cuddling. He lives for your smile.

-Naib appreciates how you comfort him after tough days and he comforts you in hours of need as well:)

-I wouldn't say he's very private when it comes to pda, though he's not overly affectionate in public either. He would have absolutely NO SHAME. You're needy for his attention but there are other survivors around? Don't worry! Naib is already patting his lap, awaiting you. He loves how you don't care what others think of your behaviour.

-Does not care about his reputation anymore. Those people know you are his soft spot. Just because he's gentle with you doesn't mean he's going to be merciful for everyone else. Someone dare to complain about you being annoying - they would be quickly receiving the glare.

-Naib would ALWAYS feel very protective over his s/o, no matter what personality would they have. He is a mercenary, a soldier, if his loved one wouldn't have a thing against being with someone like this, he'd become a total keeper as long as he is breathing.

-And when you're so positive almost all the time? Wanting to make sure everyone is feeling good? He would be all over you. A lot of, if not most people, residing in the manor were, to put it simply, bad people, so to have someone so pure next to him would turn him quite possesive.

-Of course, he is aware you are not stupid. You are aware of who the people you spend time with are. The world is not all unicorns and rainbows, you know that. He's going to understand if you show you're feeling uncomfortable with being constantly monitored. He'd try to withdraw from doing it but sometimes Naib can't help it. It's both the protectivness and the jealousy.

-When jealous, Naib would love to come near you and the person you're talking with, hug you from behind and be very affectionate. At some point you both gain the reputation of those people you'd see in citties kissing and making everyone feel awkward according to other people in the manor. Naib loves it.

☆ ☆ ☆

Wishing you guys a good day/night 🫂🫂🫂

[hwnglx]

felix's real personality behind the scenes

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

+ so the central theme for the first part of the reading, was the word “healing”. this is sweet actually, since i do think a lot of his public image is also tied to that, and it does appear to be a genuine part of his personality.

felix is a person who can have a profound impact on people, in a way where he just soothes them quite naturally. his presence alone can have that calming effect. there's a lot of gentleness to his energy. he's someone people would want to seek out when there's chaos and stress in their life, and they need a source of comfort and positivity. he enjoys giving that to people, and being that type of existence for them. it fulfills him, and can make him feel better about himself.

the stray kids member is the type of person who, instead of being relentlessly competitive and drama-prone, chooses to connect to people in a close manner. he's someone who truly doesn't enjoy drama and conflict.

felix wants to put himself into other people's shoes, genuinely empathize with them, make them feel validated and understood. he usually isn't a person who feels the need to selfishly put himself above anyone in order to lift himself up, or sees people as competition somehow. he just isn't the type who'll consciously choose to fight you, if he can befriend you instead. definitely an “everybody's darling” type of energy.

however, what's definitely worthy to note.. his softness does not equal weakness. on the contrary; felix is someone who's much more masculine and bold than some people might think. he isn't an easy target or pushover, and is in possession of his strong opinions he won't budge away from. if he feels strongly about something, he will not be the type to surrender that easily. in fact, he's very passionate in his autonomy.

i kept getting this feeling, that he's just amazing at wisely picking his battles, and acting with clear intention. although i do see him having his explosive moments, that definitely might catch some people off guard sometimes, considering the duality that's present here.. i don't really see him being a person who allows himself to let loose at the wrong time. i don't see him being someone so overly impulsive that he steps on people's toes, or crosses lines he shouldn't cross.

he's still got a tight enough grip on his emotions, that he's capable of staying conscious of when to let them bubble to the surface. if it's justified and he clearly feels like he's in the right though; you're likely to see a different side to felix, that's much more opinionated and dominant than you think.

this man just has amazing tact, and knows when to let out different sides of himself. he knows who to be more submissive towards, and who he can be more commanding with. he knows how to behave according to what benefits him the most, and which behavior will be to his biggest advantage. some people could look at this as selfish, and see it as more of a yellow flag. the lines are a little blurred here.

felix will be the sweetest and most generous person in the world, if he feels like you can help him out in some manner.

if there's someone who knows how to network in this business, it's him. i wouldn't be surprised if a good amount of his deals are a result of people just genuinely liking him as a person, and almost feeling this desire to return his kindness. (i'm not downplaying his talents! but he just gives the industry's darling too, which i saw in my jyp reading as well)

i can see him doing things like giving gifts, and being of service, or just extra nice to some people in power, who can give him the opportunities or attention/clout he wishes for.

he definitely can have his materialistic and opportunistic tendencies, which again, is likely to be more blurred in terms of “green and red flags”

he's just very clever and strategic, as well as more calculated than what meets the eye. he knows exactly what he's doing when sweetly smiling at you; he knows what effect he has on you. he's someone who charms people like it's the easiest thing in the world, and knows how to make use of his appeal.

- so, emphasizing this again; felix isn't stupid, he's very smart. he isn't a fool, he isn't the naive and innocent angel that he might portray himself as at times.

he's good at detaching himself from people.. the type that makes you feel like you're close to him, when you probably only know like 15% of who he actually is.

he's great at hiding away several parts of himself, especially the more “negative” ones. meaning, he usually disguises e.g. his negative opinions on people behind an agreeable smile, holds grudges deep down he probably won't tell you about, if he feels like it'd ruin the image you have of him. if felix openly and straight up tells you he doesn't like you, it's probably because he doesn't really see any use in being nice to you.

in addition, i can see him weaponizing his kindness at times. going back to the insights for the green flags, he is someone who's genuinely sweet towards many people.. however, some of that does come from him wanting to earn something and benefit from those acts of service.

if you end up in an argument with him, it's likely for felix to throw those acts of kindness into your face, and guilt-trip you for being so ungrateful. he's amazing at making you feel like an awful person. he was being so nice to you, and you're doing him wrong like that? felix is definitely someone who's great at manipulating narratives to his own advantage, and making himself look like the good guy in most scenarios.

he's for sure another idol, who i'd add to the list of “i suggest not fighting him” unless you wanna see a completely different side to him.

it's highly likely for a colder and less considerate side to come out, once you manage to rile felix up, and he feels done wrong by you. he can get very defensive, and quite ruthless and harsh, especially verbally. more cut-throat than he usually is.

i do think a lot of this comes from “i will hurt you before you can hurt me.” deep down, felix seems to have some unhealed wounds, especially in terms of his self worth.. this can lead to him becoming extra defensive if he feels like you could potentially rip off the bandaid, since he's still trying to heal.

note; this is lowkey making me sad, since.. many of his green flags were about healing and helping others, making them feel validated. it's almost like, he wants to heal others, because he can struggle healing himself.

i have to add, i do believe he cares more than he'd like to admit to himself, especially about people's opinion on him. again, i just don't think he wants to, since it can consume him a lot.

felix is someone who needs validation, and wants to feel like he's some sort of use to people in order for him to feel worthy.

the stray kids member is the type to overcompensate because he can quickly feel inadequate for people; especially when it comes to his work. i can see him being obsessive about his craft, his public image, his reputation. he seems to struggle finding real satisfaction, and can often pour way too much of himself into his work out of this fear that he isn't enough.

he's the type of person who's better at recognizing the things he lacks, rather than acknowledging his abilities, or the high place he's at. it's like.. something's always lacking, it's never truly enough. he can get very thirsty in terms of his career.

i do think a large part of this, comes from a lack of genuine and substantial self-love, without all the glamour and fame. he sees himself at his most lovable in work- and idol-mode, and can quickly feel like he's of much less value outside of that.

i can also sense him easily feeling like he doesn't have much to offer, outside of his more superficial qualities. like people wouldn't like him the way they do, if he wasn't in possession of his good looks, his money, his status. this can result in him getting pretty obsessive over keeping those things in check.

this is something i've seen in a few idols now. it's almost like fame can turn into this.. type of drug almost, that gives you this high, which you always end up chasing. a lot of idols realize, especially later on in their careers, that so much of that is just empty. it's a shallow type of “fulfillment” that looks nicer on the outside than it actually is. but once you're there, it can quickly turn into something you still can't get enough of.

[personasintro]

Hi, its me the yapper!! Once again!! 👋👋

I just wanted to clarify something that both you and other commenters seem to have gotten wrong; Whatever I said was incase of the scenario that you’re not feeling the story like you used to, so writing it has taken longer bcs you do not enjoy it as much but you still want to appease the reader. Hence the unwanted suggestions I made.

In my point of view, it seemed that way so I thought it was inevitable that you one day drop the fic because yes we’re getting older and busier and we drift away from things we loved. Thats why I said “is it really that serious?” because you obviously seem willing to keep writing but the wait has gotten so long that it looks like you’re doing it out of obligation(?!).

Looks like I misjudged and I apologise if thats not the case. But it came out of genuine curiosity because I just cant comprehend such long wait. Thats a me problem ig🤷‍♀️

So what I got out of your response is that yes we might/will see the end of mh in like 1-2 years? (more or less)I get that I sound bitter but I promise I am NOT lmao its pure curiosity I promise!!!

Ps to people who said that that was uncalled for or that its serious to me otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered; As I said I am an avid reader of mh so after a reread I thought I could share my thoughts? Like its genuinely not that serious even to me, I didn’t think twice before sending the ask I did it just because the thought crossed my mind. And l believe the whole waiting thing is a fact, so people’s opinions on it are very much called for?

Is it any of our business how long mimi takes to write? No🙂‍↔️. Are we as readers entitled to an opinion as long as we’re respectful? I’d like to think yes🙂‍↕️

Anywayss have a good one yall

i understood what you meant in your previous ask. and i still stand by what i said many times before – i do not hold here anyone against their will and if anyone feels like they're getting older and lose an interest in any of my stories, that's okay and it's their decision to make. i can't be responsible for everyone's feelings of how they feel about this exact situation. that's beyond my control and you're all free to feel however you want. i do wish people would be more understanding and respectful and that's why i said that no one knows what someone goes through. just because i'm no longer totally open about what's going on in my life, doesn't mean i don't care about my stories.

i'm not writing out of obligation. sure, i do feel a certain responsibility to make mh my priority even more than ever, but it's not an obligation. and i wouldn't just drop the story. i said this too, i'll finish this story whether it's for myself or for everyone else as well.

i said this many times before too – i'm in a position where i write whenever i can and want. i do not have any schedule, actually i never had one – but readers were used to more frequent updates and now, of course it's harder to get used to less frequent updates. but that's just life. i apologized when i never had to. my plans was always to finish mh asap (still is) but sometimes things don't go as planned and there are things i don't even have control of.

i respect your opinion and i'm merely explaining myself on this, hope it can be taken with respect and understanding as well!

have a good day everyone ��️

[writingdevil]

Hello! In honor of cheabroken being canon in Tongues and Teeth, I wanted to request their first kiss! Did it come naturally after being comfortable with each other for so long? Was it an awkward attempt after Stubborn interrupted them last time? Or maybe Contrarian was right and they really are worse than Smitten haha (considering how passionate they both are about their feelings, I can totally see it)

Either way, I wanted to thank you! I love how you write all the voices and the dynamics between them (even if I have very clear favorites), and I always get excited when you post a new story. I hope you have a great day and a wonderful life :)

(OH MY GOD THIS IS SUCH A SWEET ASK!Thank you and I hope that YOU have an amazing day and an even more amazing life!Thank you for your sweet words, I love hearing that people get excited whenever I post stuff.It's mad to think that two months ago, I was just reblogging stuff and not interacting THAT much with any fandom, and now I'm making you all happy with my writing!Anyways-Cheabroken!Yes!I love them and I'm so happy to write more of them!Enjoy!)

Cheated has never been more stressed in his fucking life.

The entire week, he's been wracked with anxiety and stress so bad, that he finally understood and sympathized with Paranoid.

Cheated worked nonstop just for this day-he went over everything that he would say, he made sure all the preparations were in order, and he did everything he could to make sure that nothing went wrong for him.It almost felt like he was asking for something bad to happen.

The reason why he was so stressed, was because today was the day that Cheated was going to ask Broken out.

He's known about his feelings for Broken for awhile. Ever since they were gifted their own bodies and they had that argument with Smitten and Skeptic all those months ago, Cheated had found himself getting more and more drawn to Broken.At first, it had just been the obligation to give Broken room to air his thoughts, without others either putting pressure on him or putting him down.

Cheated believed that they were all a part of the Long Quiet for a reason, and that every voice meant something to Him, so thinking that one voice was lesser than the others was an insane thought to Cheated.They were all shards of the same mirror.They had all been important to Him, once upon a time.

That kindness obviously extended to Broken as well, who had been so devastated and terrified at realising that his princess was no longer with him, leaving him feeling lost and worthless. It had been scarily easily for Smitten and Skeptic to pick him up, and practically whisk him away for their goal. Cheated had been too confused at the time to really understand what was going on, but he got there in the end.

At the start, Cheated believed that he needed to be the person that stuck up and talked for Broken, because otherwise Broken would just let everyone walk all over him. When they were arguing with Smitten and Skeptic, Cheated was surprised at how Broken actually stood up for himself pretty well, and then he was even more surprised at the screaming match he had with Stubborn, but he was surprised in such a positive way.

Broken was slowly but surely picking himself up and making himself move forward, even if he had very little belief in himself or his abilities-but Cheated couldn't help but admire everything about Broken.To be someone so lost in sorrow, but refusing to back down-that was exactly the type of strength and resolve that Cheated wished he had.

Cheated didn't need to defend Broken as much as he thought he did, but he still found himself being drawn in by his quiet brilliance and his kind and empathetic heart, and over the course of a few months, was spending all his free time with Broken.

He wasn't sure when he realised that he was falling in love with Broken. All he knew was that he was beginning to come to terms with how much he just stared at Broken, at his hypnotic eyes and his small, fluffy feathers that were finally growing back in. He would sit and stare and not even register what someone was saying because he was too busy thinking about how fucking pretty Broken was. Seriously, why wasn't Broken the one being worshipped?Cheated would've happily become a devoted follower.

Then it was thoughts like that-that made him think that maybe his feelings weren't quite platonic.

After that, it quickly dawned on him how flustered and nervous he got around Broken, or how his thoughts would be pulled back to thinking about Broken and what he was doing, or admiring how he smiled or laughed sometimes,or even daydreaming about what Broken would say to him in certain situations.

He believed that these thoughts were normal, until Stubborn managed to clock him in the face one day, all because he apparently looked 'worse than Smitten when talking about his darling.'

That was the smack in the face he needed.Literally.

He was in love with Broken.

With that realisation, came feelings of both horror and nerves, because Cheated wasn't sure if it was fair to Broken to pour his heart out to him, after how his last 'relationship' went.Would a relationship be something that Broken even wanted anymore?If Cheated asked and Broken said yes, would he only be saying that in the name of self preservation, to keep Cheated happy and himself safe?

Cheated hated the thought of doing that to Broken, of making him revert back to his old ways, and a part of him wanted to just keep these feelings to himself forever, for Broken's sake.

But then that other louder, and angrier side of him, smacked him upside the head, because assuming those things about Broken was ignoring all the growth and progress he had made in the last few months, and it was just making Cheated look like a dickhead.

Broken wasn't some sad and scared little creature that couldn't think for himself.He's proved Cheated wrong on that front many times, and each time made Cheated admire Broken more and more.Sure, he had moments where he didn't feel like getting out of bed and doing anything, or thoughts that made him believe that he didn't deserve to be here, but he had a whole flock to lean on.

Of course Cheated was there, and he was happy to take Broken on walks to help him clear his head and go outside more, and everyone else cared about him as well. Paranoid fretted over his wellbeing and if he was eating enough, Hero helped get his wings back to a much more healthy state, and even Smitten was doing his best to help, teaching him about gardening and caring for plants, and it all looked like it was helping Broken tremendously.

Broken was getting better, and Cheated would make sure to treat Broken with nothing less than pure love and respect, and he would make sure that Broken knew that every step of their relationship.

If he said yes.

That was the fear that had been clinging to Cheated all week-that Broken would say no, because getting fucked over at a time like this seemed to be exactly the type of thing to happen to Cheated.

Which was why he was so stressed, because he was doing everything in his power for this night to not go wrong, which-given who Cheated was, seemed like an impossible task.But he was nothing if not a fighter for what he believed in.

He had planned to take Broken out into a peaceful and secluded part of the woods, have a nice dinner, and at the end, Cheated would confess his feelings, and hope his heart didn't get crushed into a million pieces.

He had thought of and planned for everything that could potentially go wrong tonight.He asked Hunted to help him find the perfect spot to take Broken, trusting the other's judgement. He also needed to make sure nobody interrupted them or swooped Broken away at the last minute, so he pleaded to Oppy and Paranoid to make sure that nobody bothered them, and although they laughed at his desperation, they agreed.

Finally, the food.As much as Cheated wanted to make it, he knew that he would either somehow poison it or burn it to a crisp, so he enlisted someone else to do it.

He was extremely hesitant to ask Smitten, their resident chef, because once Smitten got a whiff of romance in the air, there would be no stopping his delusions and over the top ideas for the quiet date Cheated wanted, so he was pleasantly surprised to find that Hero could cook, and he happily agreed to do it for him, merely wishing him luck and that they find happiness together.

That did bring a tear to Cheated's eye, not that he'd ever admit it.

The one and only thing that Cheated couldn't account for was the weather.So he spent hours last night kneeling and praying to the Long Quiet or the Shifting Mound, or anyone that took pity on him, that a storm wouldn't be dropped on Cheated's head tomorrow.

He woke up to clear skies.

Cheated no longer cared if he lived with the worst luck imaginable for the rest of his life, so long as today went perfectly.

-

"Where are we going?"

"It's a secret."

Cheated giggled as he kept his hands placed firmly over Broken's eyes, carefully guiding them to their private area. Broken had been confused, but very curious, as Cheated asked to take him somewhere.

He could feel Broken's feathers tensing underneath his palms, and he leaned closer so that he could whisper,"It's okay, you're gonna like this."

Despite his words, he felt Broken freeze and tense up beneath him, feathers fluffing up and tickling his hands.Thankfully, he didn't have to dwell on it for long, as he said,"Here we are."

He stopped, and let his arms fall, hearing Broken gasp as he took in the display.

They were in the middle of an area that consisted of soft, tame grass, as if from a field, with no jagged rocks or twisting weeds in sight, surrounded by a protective wall of imposing trees.In the middle of the grass, was a tree stump, which Cheated had chopped down himself, with many splinters to show for it. He had then chopped the tree further, making logs to use as seats on either side of their tree stump table.

The scent of food wafted over to them, and Cheated's mouth salivated at the smell of the vegetables and cooked meat Hero had prepared for them.

Broken spun back around to face him, eyes wide in shock and wonder, but Cheated just grinned in anticipation, gently turning him back around by the shoulders to the table, pointing up at the sky as he said,"Wait for it."

Broken obeyed, silently looking up-just in time for a cloud to float past, and letting the light of the moon spill down directly onto the table, illuminating the whole area in moonlight.

Broken gasped, and Cheated leaned over to look at his face.He seemed shocked, but happy, and happy was what Cheated was going for right now.

"Do you like it?"Cheated asked, and once those awestruck eyes were on him, he was suddenly hit with a wave of embarrassment and anxiety.His face heated up and he started to stumble over his words."I-I really hope you like it.I-um-did this for you-to give you a good time.Is-is it okay?"

Broken stared at him for a few seconds, before looking back out at all that Cheated had prepared. He raised a hesitant hand towards his chest and said,"You did all this-for me?"

"Yeah, of course!"Cheated wrapped an arm around Broken and started to walk him over to the table."I wanted to do something nice for you."

"You didn't have to,"Broken muttered, looking down at the ground.

Cheated rolled his eyes."I didn't have to, but I wanted to."

Broken still seemed unsure as they sat down, but Cheated allowed him a few minutes to get comfortable, until he eventually saw the tension and apprehension leave his body.Broken casted a wary glance out in the distance, and Cheated casually waved a hand in the air and said,"Oh, don't worry, we're not in any danger."

That wary look was then directed at Cheated, who couldn't help but think it looked cute."How do you know?"

"I had Hunted scout this place out for me.There's not a monster in sight, and I've got Hunted guarding the perimeter tonight, just in case."

"Really?"Broken gave him a surprised look, then glanced around them, pinning his eyes on a random spot of the dark trees, and Cheated chuckled as Broken lifted a hand and waved into the distance, seemingly saying hello to Hunted. Cheated had no idea where Hunted was right, only that he hadn't needed much convincing to guard them tonight, and Cheated weirdly felt way more safe and secure with Hunted around, because that was one less thing that could go wrong.

"You've-"Broken said,a suspicious tone in his voice as he took in all of Cheated's work,"put a lot of thought into this.Why?"

Cheated gave him a soft smile, reaching over and placing a hand atop of his, his thumb brushing knuckles.Broken froze, and stared down at their hands, feathers shooting up in surprise.Cheated's voice was surprisingly calm as he said,"I just wanted to make sure you had a good time tonight."

Broken let a breath out, and Cheated hoped he hadn't done anything wrong yet, but the feeling of Broken's full attention on him was beginning to make the butterflies in his stomach turn into a raging stampede, so he quickly took his hand back, missing the disappointment on Broken's face, and motioned down at his food."Let's dig in, yeah?"

-

Dinner was great.

But spending a whole evening with Broken was even better.

The longer the night went on, the more fond and utterly in love Cheated was becoming with Broken. He loved the light yet strong tone he held in his voice, and the way his eyes shone and gave away everything he was feeling.He loved catching the moments where Broken would subconsciously trace invisible doodles with his finger along the tree stump table, and Cheated just longed to see what they could be like.

But eventually, their food had been eaten, the conversation was beginning to dim from energy, and Cheated knew that his moment had come.

He took a shaky breath in, briefly wondering if Paranoid's chant would work for him right now, and stared down as he softly took Broken's hands within his, prompting Broken to slowly stop what he was saying.

Cheated glanced up at him, his cheeks feeling on fire, as he took in Broken's soft confusion."Broken," Cheated began, desperately trying to keep his voice steady and calm and to not fuck this up.

"I really hope I made you happy tonight,"he said, and Broken stiffly nodded."Yeah, of course you did. I'm always happy when I'm with you."The words sent an addicting warmth through his bones, and he had to use all his control to stop his smile from spreading to one of those stupid and lovey dovey ones that Smitten was known to wear.

"That's such a relief to hear,"he said, squeezing their hands once for reassurance,"because there's something I've really wanted to tell you for awhile."

"What?"Broken quietly said, and Cheated found it easier to speak when he was just staring down at their hands, reminding him of the reason he was doing all this.

"Broken, I think you're one of the most beautiful and inspiring people I know.You're so empathetic and strong, whether you realise it or not.You've been through so much, but you're still here, fighting and proving your demons wrong-that you are worthy of love and happiness, and I'm so fucking honored to be a part of your life and to watch you slowly believe that, because I've always thought that way about you.I've always-cared about you, but for awhile, my feelings for you have grown stronger."

He gulped."Broken-I'm in love with you, and I wanted to show you that I can treat you the way you deserve to be treated-with nothing less than love and respect and complete care.So, I just wanted to tell you all this, because I'll go crazy if I don't tell you how you make me feel just by being around your beautiful self-and if you feel the same way, maybe we can-"

But Cheated never got the chance to finish his confession, as Broken gripped his face and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

He was stunned, but quickly melted into the kiss, not willing to turn down a golden opportunity like this.

God, even kissing Broken felt warm. But not in an intense, mind spinning way. No, this warmth felt safe, it felt like nothing but the two of them mattered in this moment, and all Cheated had to focus on was Broken.It felt happy.It felt right.

Home.The kiss felt like home.

Then suddenly, Broken pulled them apart, panting with a worried and frantic look on his face.Cheated could do nothing but stare in amazement as Broken began to ramble,"Sorry!Sorry!I-I didn't mean to ruin your moment!"Broken started to absent-mindedly grip his hands for comfort, whether he was aware of it or not, but Cheated still squeezed them to calm the other down.

Broken was looking everywhere that wasn't Cheated."I just-I just-I heard what you were saying, and with what you did tonight, I had a feeling that you were going to-and-and-"

"Broken,"Cheated calmly said, stopping the other in his panic.Broken looked up in surprise, and Cheated felt his hands bring gripped tightly, as he watched Broken take a deep and slow breath in. Cheated smiled at the now more relaxed state Broken was in.

Broken continued, much more calm this time,"I knew what you were going to say-and I felt like I needed to be the one to bridge that gap.I-I can't explain it, I'm sorry."

"Hey, it's okay,"Cheated said, tugging on their hands to get Broken's attention."I honestly didn't mind it-it was actually really nice."Broken giggled, and Cheated grinned wider at the sound."But that just means that I'm still waiting."

Broken looked up at him in confusion."Waiting?For what?"Cheated gave him a playful grin."For you to ask me out."Broken was surprised for a second, his wings flapping once in shock, before he smiled bashfully and asked,"Cheated, I'm in love with you. Do you want to be my partner?"

Cheated smiled so hard that it hurt, but he didn't care.He was the luckiest bastard in this shitty world."I would love to be your partner, Broken.I love you."

Then they both leaned in for another kiss, and Cheated's life was now perfect.

[ropebuny]

have you even ever been raped before? it's just disgusting, because being raped is one of the most awful things in the entire world. i wish i could remove my pain and give it to someone who "wants" it.

I have been raped and sexually assaulted / abused multiple times throughout my childhood, both as a toddler and as well as a young teen, by strangers as well as friends (who I thought were my close friends at the time, who I could trust) & by my high school boyfriend at the time, as well as by a family member. I am fully aware how disgusting it is and what a horrible experience it is, and I have been diagnosed with ptsd because of how these experiences have negatively impacted me going forward in my life. I have panic attacks when walking anywhere alone, I literally cannot be left alone with an older stranger or I will have a panic attack, I have constant flashbacks and nightmares and intrusive thoughts bringing me back to my assaults every single day, my main reason for self harm have always been these experiences, and I never received any justice for what had happened and I had also never received any support from my parents or friends at the time. I could never talk about these experiences with anyone because it was too taboo to bring up, no one wants to hear that and people would get visibly uncomfortable when I tried to speak on it. I completely understand what a sick act rape and sexual assault are, and how badly it can fuck you up because my experiences have definitely completely rewired my brain to the point that I never feel truly safe when left alone with someone, close friend or not. I have also been sexually assaulted multiple times since turning 18 and becoming legally an adult, though the cnc fantasy is mostly based around my childhood trauma. it’s where my fantasy to be taken against my will stems from mostly. I want to be able to turn these past experiences into enjoyable ones with my lover, and I want to feel safe knowing that it’s not real. feeling the security in knowing that I can say a safeword whenever and they will immediately stop. that makes me feel like I am now the one in charge. that I am the one who has the ability to choose whether it continues or not, because when I was being assaulted in real life, I always froze. I always froze and did nothing to help myself or stand up for myself, I just let it happen out of freezing terror that overcame me. when playing around with a partner, I have that security that it’s not real, that I’m not actually in danger. that I am the one in charge finally.

I feel really fucked about having these desires too, and me and my psychiatrist have been trying to work out what might be beneficial for me and he seems to be accepting of me exploring cnc with someone I trust and reshaping my traumatic experiences into something new, into feeling desired on an unhealthy level by my partner. I’m not too sure how to explain it. I apologise for any discomfort my posts have caused you and I am sorry for what you went through. my posts were never meant as me wishing genuine and non-consensual trauma upon myself, it was all meant to be understood as consensual play between me and a trusted, loving partner. my posts were never meant to be condoning these acts in the real world, outside of consensual play between adults who love each other. I know that I am safe when indulging in this play with my trusted partner, and it turns that previously negative experience into a now positive one that brings me closer to my partner due to the intense trust that we have been able to form in order for me to even want to engage in such play. it’s not something I engage in with random people, I need to know and trust the person who is roleplaying as an abuser. but that’s just how I personally experience cnc, I know others don’t mind engaging in this kind of play with strangers as well.

I understand your concerns, and I really hope you are healing from your experiences, but I also don’t feel too good having to write out my defense on here on why I should be ‘allowed’ to have certain fantasies. I don’t like talking about the real rape / sexual abuse that were forced on me throughout my childhood, many people on here get off on actual trauma stories and I never felt comfortable bringing up my real experiences because of that very reason. that’s why I never went into detail regarding what trauma I personally have and have not experienced on this blog because I wanted to keep it strictly sexual and consensual on my page, and I never felt that me bringing up my real experiences, especially the ones from my childhood, would benefit me in any way at all - and might actually, and very likely, put me in uncomfortable situations with weird people (who are into getting off on real trauma stories) then engaging with me.

I remember seeing a girl on here being asked by an anon if she’s ever been raped and she replied with something like “nooo, I wish I was >_<“ and I remember how horrible it made me feel regarding my experiences as well. so I entirely understand where you’re coming from and I am truly sorry for the trauma that you have experienced and I apologise that my blog has affected you in a negative way, it was never my intention. although people who have been abused throughout their life, like you and I, are very likely to develop sexual desires and kinks that explore their trauma. but sometimes, people who have no experience with that whatsoever, like that girl I mentioned a few sentences ago, will also develop them. and they aren’t necessarily automatically bad people for it either. it all depends on how you act outside of kink. although within kink respect of course still always matters, e.g. if you ignore a safeword you are a bad person, end of. I meant it more like the goodness of your heart is shown more when it comes to real situations, outside of kink; like the respect you have towards victims and towards your traumatised partner with whom you are indulging in this sensitive fantasy play with, how you treat these people outside of the kink world, in the real world where it’s different & it’s not just strictly fantasy and pretend. and that you are able to differentiate the two worlds, and are able to understand how certain kinks should not align with your real, genuine values or morals (e.g. being into cnc as a kink shouldn’t mean that you support or condone real rape and sexual assault, being into ageplay shouldn’t mean that you support or condone child exploitation, being into superiority & inferiority powerplay shouldn’t mean that you support or condone the patriarchy, being into petplay and enjoying seeing your partner act animalistic or wear animal ears & tails shouldn’t mean that you support or condone people having sex with real animals, etc). it’s all a play pretend fantasy, and the way people act within the kink world can drastically differ from how they act in the real world. your real life values & morals, and the way how you treat real people in real everyday situations, matters. and what you do consensually with a trusted and loved partner (and what is considered solely fantasy and play) consensual and appropriate environment, shouldn’t influence how you see the real world, the world outside of kink.

EDIT: I literally proved my point about how bad people on here will immediately jump at the opportunity to message you as soon as they find out that you have real genuine trauma, by receiving this dm not even 20 minutes after posting this ask answer:

[r3medialch8os]

so since u guys liked that i did this with remedial chaos theory i will now also be doing this for epidemiology.

the most incredible thing about this episode is that it is in fact Not merely an homage like most concept episodes are; it actually happens. a zombie epidemic For Real takes place at greendale. it's not a gimmick or a game or a way to frame the plot. the actual conflict is derived from the fact that people are zombies and the study group need to outrun them/turn them back. how often can you say that a sitcom incorporates a storyline like this and sincerely pulls it off? never.

the emotional tension in this episode is framed around troy/abed/jeff and the dichotomy of being a nerd vs. being cool, which respectively get attributed the qualities of caring about the people around you who have turned into zombies or wanting to run and escape from the zombies without trying to help. abed and jeff's costumes are both pointed out in the beginning receiving clear denotations of 'lame' and 'too cool to care' and therefore their positions in the conflict are cemented. the episode has a push-pull with troy being the moving factor, having to decide what he thinks is most important. he gets swayed in the beginning by two girls rejecting him over his costume and jeff mentioning how expensive his suit is. he changes from his ripley costume into a 'sexy dracula'. abed spends the whole episode trying to get troy back to his side, even saying "what defines a nerd? committing to an awesome halloween costume with your best friend?" troy is eventually 'turned back' into his nerdy self (perhaps a zombie metaphor itself, keeping in tone with the theme of the episode) because jeff cares more about his suit getting dirty than surviving the herd of zombies.

a crucial part of the episode is that it is soundtracked by abba music playing from the dean's playlist. now, who would i be if i didn't investigate significant music choices connected to scenes? first up and probably the most important one: s.o.s. is used in the background of a scene where abed confronts troy about changing costumes. troy insults him and walks away. the lyrics are: 'you seemed so far away, though you were standing near. you made me feel alive, but something died, i fear. i really tried to make it up, i wish I understood. what happened to our love? it used to be so good.' next; gimme gimme gimme plays right before the scene where chang and shirley hook up. another insane choice is at the end when troy is fighting the zombies. the whole sequence has mamma mia playing in the background Faintly. then when troy eventually gets to abed and has to fight him, the music comes in much louder with the lyrics: 'here i go again, my, my, how can i resist you?', which i think fits perfectly. the ending song fernando has the lyrics 'there was something in the air that night', both referencing the thermostat changing the zombies back and the fact that it was just an incredibly weird fucking night.

troy is dressed as ellen ripley and also kind of acts as the ripley of this episode. his journey in this as being the sole survivor and the one to eventually save greendale adheres to a common science fiction model where a life-threatening force is faced against the protagonists and they fall off in degrees, resulting in one person being left to mend everything. here specifically, it seems to mirror ripley's journey in alien (1979) as it starts with a crew that eventually gets cut down leaving only her. i thought that was really cool.

more alien tidbits, but the jumping cat scene is also inspired by it. jones the cat is an imporant figure in the first alien movie. in various scenes, members of the crew will go looking for him, then get ambushed by the titular alien and subsequently killed. it is a minor homage to the movie through yet another subtle reference. the bit is also parodying jumpscares in horror movies in general, and how they are used to cheaply amplify the tension. anyways, it's quite the multilayered joke because it also really works out of context as a bizarre comedic moment.

troy and abed's scene in the basement pays homage to princess leia and han solo's scene in the empire strikes back. the conversation in the film takes place just before han is frozen alive in carbonite by darth vader. not knowing if he’ll survive, he kisses leia, only to be torn away from her by stormtroopers. she says 'i love you,' and as he descends into chamber, han replies, 'i know.' an undeniably romantic moment, maybe one of the most memorable ones ever, is applied to troy and abed who have held reign over the emotional core of the plot for the entire episode. it's pretty special that such an iconic moment is given to them, i feel like the creators of the show wouldn't just do this sparingly. it also perfectly resolves their conflict as troy makes such a vulnerable statement and abed assuring him that he already knew, validating their bond once again.

more on troy and abed, it is pretty amazing realizing the emotional implications tied to how dire the situation was. everyone in this episode was under the direct threat of Not Surviving, and still abed sacrificed himself for troy. he knew this was for real. he couldn't be sure if they were going to make it. but i think he had enough faith in troy to aid in his escape. it's very touching. further, it's incredible that troy is willing to fight all the zombies (all his friends) but when it comes time to punch abed, he refuses to do it. he's struck by the force of their friendship, mumbling 'we're friends' defeated before eventually succumbing to his bite.

troy saving the school by controlling the temperature; nicely setting up his further plot with the ac repair school.

him being the one to escape and abed saying 'be the first black man to make it to the end' subverts the common horror trope of 'black dude dies first'. a playful way of keeping up with the horror movie theme of the episode.

also ironically this episode, which features the song mamma mia by abba, sets up a plotline in season two about shirley not knowing who the father of her new baby is, which is functionally the plot of the movie mamma mia!, a musical based on abba's music. probably a coincidence but a pretty funny one.

at the end when the army arrives, they ask the dean about witnesses. when he says he is the only witness, one of the guards reaches into his jacket, suggesting that he's pulling a gun intended to kill the dean and get rid of the witness. when they notice everyone in the school is still alive, they abandon this plan and go for 'scenario b'. kind of dark but i laugh every time that scene happens.

anyways that's all i could pull from my brain crevices for now. this episode is a genuine masterpiece, it will never ever get old and will remain to be one of the most unique sitcom episodes ever created.

[vaspider]

Hey, sending this off anon so you can answer privately if you wish. I'm really confused about the difference between being anti-Zionist and pro-Palestine. I've been using both interchangeably for myself, but apparently that's incorrect? I don't know who else to ask.

So... I haven't had anon on in like 12 years, I don't do private answers, and I don't talk about I/P online.

But let's talk about a different issue instead. Let's talk about reproductive rights instead, as a means of just talking about why being anti-Thing1 doesn't mean you're pro-Thing2.

(I swear to fuck if anyone comes onto this post and tries to say I made some sort of direct weird parallel between Israel and either of the examples below to try to 'prove' something about me or drag me into stuff I have said I don't talk about, I will yeet them into the fucking sun. The purpose of these examples is solely to use easily-understood references to explain how you can be anti-Thing1 without being pro-Thing2.)

If someone is anti-abortion, that doesn't mean they're pro-parenting or pro-baby. It's about where their focus is, right? Lots of people are just like 'well, we don't think abortions should exist. There should be no abortions.' Well, great. But what's your plan for the people who are pregnant and don't want to be? They're not going to stop existing just because you think abortions shouldn't exist.

But a lot of people who are anti-abortion don't have plans for that. All they have is a firm belief that abortions shouldn't exist. No one should need them, no one should want them, no one has a right to them. All other concerns go by the wayside.

Or the people who live around me who want homeless people off the streets, but have no plan for how to get people off the streets. They just say 'well, there shouldn't be any homeless people on the streets of Portland,' but their answer is fines and jail time. (This is a real thing happening where I live, btw. Fines for daytime camping, as if that's going to help people get off the streets. Now they have a fine they also can't pay with all of the money they don't have.) These people have no plans for affordable housing, they feel like it's perfectly acceptable to define someone as 'turning down' shelter even if that shelter requires you to be inside by 9 PM and the unhoused person doesn't don't get out of work until 11 PM. Their focus isn't on the positive thing -- people obtaining housing security -- it's on the thing they think shouldn't be happening: unhoused people where they have to see them/be inconvenienced by them.

You can be anti-abortion without being even remotely pro-parent or pro-baby. You can be anti-homelessness without being pro-housing security. It's all about what your actual focus is.

In this case, the question you have to ask yourself is: is it more important to me that to be anti-Zionist or to be pro-Palestine? I can't answer that question for you, because, like I said, I don't talk about I/P at all online, and -- more importantly -- it's going to completely depend on how you, personally, define Zionism, let alone anti-Zionism, and how you, personally, define being pro-Palestine.

You're gonna have to wrestle that one out on your own.

[geekgirles]

The Doll and the Dragon

Chapter 2: Make Yourself at Home

Word Count: 11703

Read on AO3

Previous/Next

Chapter Summary: "Ever since she was welcomed into the Eliatrope palace, Amalia has taken to wandering around the halls, even when left to her own devices. Tensions run high as not all members of the Council of Six have come to truly trust their unexpected guest, nor do they believe her intentions to be pure. And so, it is up to Yugo to find out the truth.

But, just what is the actual cause for the Divine Doll's little excursions around the palace? Could this just be a huge misunderstanding?"

Despite the limited amount of time Amalia spent there, she was sure Sadida’s realm in Inglorium had to be the reason behind the divine dimension’s idyllic nature. A lush paradise where all kinds of plants lived together in perfect harmony, no matter how different they were. Tropical jungles and rainforests showed off the vibrant green of their leaves and palm trees thanks to the constant rains they enjoyed. Grassy plains extended as far as the eye could see, with all sorts of flowers and herbs sprouting over the most beautiful canvas imaginable. 

Mighty oaks, firs, pines and all sorts of trees stood proudly on top of the lands’ mountainous territories. There was even a small, but not any less important, arctic area where rare, exotic plants that could only survive in cold temperatures thrived. Wherever she looked, she could see sources of water everywhere: from the constant rains showering the tropical species, to streams and rivers of all sizes and lengths going down the mountains and plains, to beautiful cascades located in their own secret gardens…

It was simply far too beautiful for words. It was nature in its purest form.

And Amalia could feel how each and every single living being there was a part of her, just like she was a part of them. 

It was such a stark contrast to life inside the Eliatrope palace. She understood her visit was sudden, so much so, it was a complete surprise for the portal-making people. They really hadn’t seen her arrival coming. Which was something her father had warned her about, how it might take her some time to endear herself to the Eliatrope King and his people. 

As expected of a god, her father had been right. Yugo, as he wished to be called if they were to be ‘friends’, had certainly been taken aback by the sight of her when they first met. And it only worsened once she took on her more human form. So much so, the Eliatrope remained quiet and motionless for an awkwardly long amount of time upon the sight of her. 

She truly feared she made a terrible first impression and that was the reason why he didn’t seem so keen on taking her as his bride. Amalia had yet to make sense of the weird wave of sadness and melancholy she felt whenever she thought about it—was that what people called ‘disappointment’? However, despite their unconventional first meeting and Yugo’s apparent disinterest in that thing called marriage, he didn’t seem to be opposed to the idea of the two of them fostering a positive relationship. So, even though she had been ready to abandon his home and return with her father, the Eliatropes seemingly welcomed her in and guided her to her new room.

That had been two weeks ago, and Amalia couldn’t help the melancholic, suffocating feeling that enveloped her. 

It wasn’t as if Yugo hadn’t kept good on his word. He was perfectly kind and cordial towards her; always asking how her day had been, indulging her curiosity a little about his, showing her around the palace, and gifting her with some very nice living spaces that were relatively close to his. 

She had yet to decipher what the odd comments his sister Nora made at that meant, or why they elicited a deep blush from Yugo, too. 

And yet, despite knowing she should be grateful and thank Sadida for the kindness and care she was being treated with despite being an outsider, Amalia couldn’t help but feel trapped. She had yet to be allowed to leave the palace premises and venture into Oma Island, especially if she was on her own. Without Yugo by her side, she really didn’t have anywhere to go. So she remained in her room.

That in itself shouldn’t have been so bad. After all, before being sent to the World of Twelve, she spent most of her time in Inglorium either at Sadida’s hut as he put the final touches on her or in her room. But there was something about this place that made her feel restless. No matter what she did, she couldn’t ignore the constant calls of the world outside, beckoning her to step out of the palace and inside the jungle.

There was a whole other world beyond the castle’s walls, she could feel it in her bones. A world the twelve gods themselves had helped create and replenished with wondrous splendour and experiences. Her whole body just itched and tingled at the thought of going out and exploring. 

But alas, that was but a pipe dream. The Eliatropes and their dragon siblings kept a close eye on her, probably because she had been sent by the gods and, therefore, they felt the need to treat her with care. And seeing as she was specifically there for Yugo, as long as he wasn’t available, there were many things she couldn’t do, so she remained confined to her room. 

She truly didn’t understand why that didn’t feel like enough, after all, her room was spacious and beautifully furnished. Her bed was comfortable and soft. Her closet was big and could hold many pieces of clothing. There was a large vanity with a mirror surrounded by bulbshrooms where she could preen herself all day long if she so wished. And her walls were tastefully decorated with more breath-taking murals depicting the Eliatropes’ history. 

But the more she spent inside those four walls, the more she yearned to get away from them. No matter how much she tossed and turned at night, she just couldn’t fall asleep. As of right now, she really didn’t have more outfits than the one she currently wore she could stash in her closet. The more she looked at herself in the mirror, the more Ibago’s words haunted her and made her feel inadequate, her eyes tracing the lack of stitches on her skin and making her feel like an outsider among her own kind. And, beautiful as they were, she couldn’t shake the feeling that the room’s stone walls were closing in on her the most she remained inside with nothing to do. 

Her one saving grace was the large balcony leading outside. Amalia wasn’t exaggerating when she said she spent most of her time there, leaning against the railing and staring off into the distance, wishing she had a Cra’s gifted sight to see what lay beyond the limits of her chambers. The most she could do was connect with the plants surrounding the castle to feel what they felt, but that only increased her yearning. 

The other thing she discovered her balcony allowed her to do and one she felt quite mesmerised by was seeing Yugo train. Just like she was doing at that very moment, her eyes followed his every move.

She truly didn’t understand why, but the sight of him gracefully jumping in and out of his portals reminded her of the time she witnessed her father dance at moonlight. It was so hypnotic, especially when he took things up a notch and combined his portals with his swordsmanship and hand-to-hand training. Hard as she tried, Amalia found she could not take her eyes off the Eliatrope when he executed complex moves and manoeuvres. Parring an imaginary enemy’s attack with his wakfu shield while he charged forwards with his sword. Or the way he would command dozens of portals to shoot energy beams at once towards a specific target. 

The spectacle was such, her eyes remained glued to it, to him. Even with her limited understanding of the world around her, Amalia understood Yugo was attractive. Very attractive. In a way, it was funny. Her father told her Yugo was her suitor, and as such, it was his intention to make her fall for him. And yet, she couldn’t help but think she was Yugo’s suitor instead. After all, she seemed far more captivated by him than he was by her…

Shaking her head from such thoughts, she got a hold of herself  just in time for Yugo to take notice of her and send her a friendly wave, which she returned with a small smile. Amalia couldn’t help but find it sad that such a small exchange had become the highlight of her day, for that usually meant Yugo was beginning to lose focus on his training, which at the same time meant he would be done for the day soon. 

And sure enough, not even five minutes later, he entered yet another one of his portals, only this time he didn’t reappear from another; at least, not within the doll’s line of sight. 

With a heavy sigh, Amalia’s body slagged forward, her head resting against her arms on the railing, wondering if today would be one of those days where Yugo showed her around the castle some more and entertained her for a bit or, if otherwise, she’d be on her own. If it was the latter, seeing as that was her home now as well, she could always wander the palace halls on her own, trying to sate her curiosity and wanderlust the only way that was available.

However, even after enough time had passed for Amalia to know she wouldn’t be seeing more of Yugo today and therefore she was free to explore the palace grounds, the Divine Doll couldn’t shake the feeling the rest of the Eliatrope Council had their eyes on her…

......................................................................................................................

“She spends a lot of time wandering around by herself. I don’t like it.” Efrim emitted a low, warning growl, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. 

“She is allowed to move freely around the palace, Efrim. She is our guest, not our prisoner.” Shinonomé countered, her golden eyes never leaving the orb right in front of her. 

“An uninvited guest, you mean.” Glip corrected pointedly, his chin resting over the handle of his cane as he held it with his hands. “The gods just sent her to us with no warning after months of silence. For all we know, she could be here to spy on us!”

“My point exactly. Thank you, Glip.” Efrim acknowledged his brother with a grateful nod of his head, right before sending his eldest sister a pointed look. 

The female dragon simply exhaled from her nose, puffs of smoke coming out of her nostrils even in her humanoid form. “From our research, Qilby and I have learned that Divine Dolls are difficult to classify and, therefore, to predict. They don’t share the same limitations as other demigods; for all we know, she could be acting independently from the gods’ will.”

Much to her shock and chagrin, this time it was her own twin who refuted her point with a rueful shake of his head. “My dear Shinonomé, you know the dolls’ unique circumstances also mean they’re closer to their creator than most other demigods—in fact, while Divine Dolls get to live in Inglorium alongside Sadida, most demigods have never even met their divine parents!” 

“Which I’m afraid could also mean she will always have his best interests in mind, rather than her own, or ours.” Chibi pointed out without looking up from the small contraption he and his dragon brother Grougaloragran were currently working on, a small wakfu hammer and chisel in his hands. 

“So you mean to say she’s always looking around in search of weaknesses to exploit?” Yugo urged his siblings to voice the thoughts and questions on their minds, growing impatient. He could not believe he had just got back only to be informed his presence was required for an urgent meeting with the Council.

They were all currently gathered at the council room, where the Eliatropes’ leaders met up to discuss urgent matters concerning their people, such as new buildings in need of construction, shortage of food, impending war, or anything that might put their people’s safety in jeopardy. Likewise, seeing as they all had very different duties and talents they used to serve their subjects, another and much more recurrent reason for gathering together was to update their siblings on their advances and struggles in their respective fields. 

The council room was one of the largest spaces inside the palace, second only to the throne room and the communal spaces meant to house large groups of people or protect their civilians when under attack. And with good reason, too. After all, it was supposed to be able to hold both six Primordial Eliatropes and their dragon siblings, even when the latter weren’t in their more humanoid forms. Meaning, it was imperative twelve people, half of them capable of turning into giant, draconic beasts, could be there comfortably. 

Although there were large windows carved onto the stone precisely for the purpose of them being able to join a meeting whenever, the room’s biggest source of light came from the very centre of it, sticking from a round table around which every council member usually sat at. Bathing everything around it in soothing blue, was a giant crystal orb known as the Eliaculus, one of Chibi and Grougal’s greatest inventions. While at first glance it reflected a sea of stars—an impressive feat in itself—, its main purpose was to keep an eye on their territory and help them strategise. All you needed to do to know what was going on on the opposite end of Oma Island was ask the Eliaculus and it would reveal the events unfolding at that very second. 

Another useful feature was that it also projected holographic images to better visualise whatever concerns troubled the Council.

From where he stood in the middle of the room, Yugo’s gaze swept across the council room, landing momentarily on each and every one of its occupants. At that very moment, the only absent members were Baltazar and Phaeris—the former was covering up for his twin in teaching the young ones as the meeting was taking place, for they would have an important exam soon and they couldn’t afford to lose any study time; and it was the latter’s turn to oversee the island and make sure the Twelvians didn’t try attacking them again.

Having just recently arrived, Efrim was seated leisurely against one of the window frames, his long, serpentine tail swaying back and forth in impatience. As Nora’s twin was the smallest of the Eliatrope dragons, he, unlike his siblings, chose to spend most of his time with his true appearance. His body was composed entirely of vivid periwinkle scales, from maw to tail; the only exceptions were his snow-white hair, matching his twin sister’s; his indigo eyelids; and the equally white underbelly and tip of his tail. His eyes were the most unusual out of all of them: instead of white, his sclera was a deep cobalt, and his slitted pupil a bright turquoise, not unlike the wakfu their people manipulated. Nora liked to say that reflected his special connection to their mother. 

Efrim stood out among the other dragons for not having any legs, only arms and a long, snake-like tail, although it was true his natural shapeshifting abilities allowed him to sprout a pair of thin yet strong limbs if he so wished. Even though he preferred to keep them tucked away for most of the time, the youngest dragon also possessed the most beautiful pair of wings out of all of them, thanks to their crystalline quality. 

Much like Nora, the battle with the Mechasms had turned the once joyful and optimistic Efrim into a jaded version of himself, quick to suspect outsiders if it meant ensuring his people’s safety. And, unfortunately, Amalia was an outsider for several reasons. 

Shinonomé, on the other hand, was Qilby’s twin sister, though listening to her retellings of their past lives was much more enjoyable as she never really acted nowhere as insufferable as her brother. Truth be told, even though both of them were technically the oldest of their group, Shinonomé was clearly the most rational one between her and Qilby which, coupled with her sweet demeanour, was the reason their siblings tended to go to her when they needed help. She was seated close to her brother at that very moment, in fact, her eyes going back and forth between Yugo and the Eliaculus.

Given her enormous size and her and Qilby’s natural talent for medicine, the red dragoness was the polar opposite of Efrim, choosing to remain in her humanoid form most of the time as to not frighten her youngest patients. 

Even so, she was far too proud of her origins to suppress her true nature. Such was reflected in her humanoid self. Much like her scales, her skin was ruby red from head-to-toe, with gold markings lining her body along her limbs, sides, and cheeks. Her waist-length hair that she kept in a loose braid—not unlike what her twin did with his beard— was platinum blond and scruffy, highlighted by the four long horns sprouting from her head, with a yellow diamond plastered on her forehead. Beyond her unusual skin colour and horned appearance, there were more details hinting at her true self, like her clawed hands, sharp teeth, and pointy ears; or her eyes—breath-taking and golden, with slitted pupils. Given she had no real use for modesty, she simply covered herself with a simple, sleeveless, yellow silk robe, with no need for shoes for her skin was thick enough to withstand practically anything. 

Glip, leaning back against his own chair at the table, opposite from the eldest twins, was the shortest Eliatrope by far. Always had been. Even when Yugo himself was still in the adolescent phase of his life and his body was that of a child despite his adult mind, back then he was still slightly taller than Glip. A fact he was wise not to say aloud lest he risked getting whacked in the head by his brother’s huge cane. 

Despite not possessing Qilby and Shononomé’s gift for remembering every single reincarnation, or the fact that he was quite ill-tempered, Glip’s passion had always been teaching the younger generations, which he always accomplished admirably thanks to the sheer amount of energy he put into each and every lesson he taught. The fact that, between the two, Baltazar was the most sweet-tempered also helped, as both siblings formed the perfect Firm Hand and Gentle Touch duo—Glip made sure the kids all stayed in line and behaved, while Baltazar was always there to listen to their problems, however small they might be, and encourage them to keep working. 

With a square face and an ever-present scowl, alongside his dark chesnut-coloured goatee, Glip always wore a green and beige tunic over a long-sleeved white undershirt and dark brown pants and pointed slippers. His tunic was tucked around the waist by a leather belt, ancient scrolls he used to keep track of his classes hanging from it. The use of headwear was a huge symbol in Eliatrope culture, and in Glip’s case, he wore a relatively simple hat the same colour as his tunic, though his had a small stump on either side of it. The one thing the shortest Eliatrope was never without was his cane, twice his height and forming a spiral at the top, decorated by three white protrusions. 

Chibi and Grougaloragran were hardly seen apart, and today was no exception as they occupied their respective seats at the table, hunched over their latest invention. In fact, the duo were the most formidable inventors their people had ever known. Although their ingenuity also meant they tended to be quite laser-focused and single-minded when it came to their goals. 

Chibi was the Eliatrope twin, and although he was usually much calmer and more laid-back than Grougal, he tended to be a tad more impulsive as well, especially when it came to battle. Much like his dragon brother, he preferred to wear black, as evidenced by his long cloak, covering his entire body. However, he still felt a fondness for gold that he exhibited in his chest plates and shoulder pads, a body-suit similar to Yugo’s but in black going all the way down from his abdomen. 

His white hair was trimmed into a bob cut and, much like his own goatee, created a nice contrast with his deeply tanned skin and hazel eyes. Despite his love for science, he was the most muscular Eliatrope sibling, and his features—a Roman nose, a strong jawline, an aloof yet cheeky glint in his eyes—only hinted at his hidden depths even more. When he wasn’t covering half his face with his hood, that is. 

Grougaloragran was his brother’s opposite in many ways. While more feisty and quick to anger than Chibi, he also knew when to keep a cool head better than his twin did when faced with aggression. Unlike Chibi, who preferred to keep going until the end, Grougal knew when to take a step back and make a strategic retreat.

Their contrast manifested in their appearance as well, especially when the black dragon decided to take on a humanoid form. As equally muscular and tanned as his brother, given his body was covered in scales, he felt no need to cover himself beyond a white robe, though his wasn’t form-fitting like Shinonomé’s. But that was where their similarities ended. Grougaloragran’s features were sharper, fiercer, befitting a dragon of his power. His cheekbones were sharp, his ears pointy, his golden eyes had slitted pupils and glowed even in the darkness, and he sported a long, silky, dark mane. 

Yugo and his siblings formed a very colourful group. They all had their strengths and weaknesses, and they all complemented each other by seamlessly working together, like a well-oiled machine. Except when they disagreed on something.

And they were all looking at him, their attention drawn by his comment. 

“It’s… a possibility.” Efrim finally said carefully, acknowledging the king’s previous comment about the Sadida Doll looking for weaknesses to exploit. 

“We can’t deny her mere presence on our island is quite suspicious.” Glip added, sharing a nod with the youngest dragon. Then, gesturing at Yugo, he went on, “Don’t forget, dear brother, two weeks ago you weren’t exactly happy with the news of her arrival either.”

Much to his chagrin, Glip had a point. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been fuming when he found out about the gods sending him a bride. Especially when what he needed was for his people to achieve a peaceful coexistence with this world’s natives, not some eye-candy to take his mind off his problems. 

Still, he tried to remain impartial. Even though it was true Amalia’s actions were suspicious, as king it was his duty to give people the benefit of the doubt until proven guilty.

“That’s true, but Amalia said she was sent here by the gods as a sign of good will between their people and ours. We can’t just accuse her of being an undercover agent!”

“One thing is what someone says, and a very different thing is the truth.” Efrim warned ominously, his eyes narrowed. Then, he fluttered open his crystal-like wings and, with one mighty flap, came to meet Yugo face-to-face. “We know nothing about her, for all we know, she could have been trained precisely to get us to lower our guards!” 

“Maybe, but what we do know is that she was both created and sent to us by the gods.” Adamaï countered, making sure to stress that last word so it got through Efrim’s skull as he pushed him back and away from his twin’s personal space. “If we want to be accepted by the Twelvians, the last thing we need is to offend their gods by mistreating one of their own. And considering Amalia is here precisely because of Yugo, he is the one who should be the most careful.”

Yugo flashed his brother a thankful smile at his unyielding support, who returned it with a nod. 

“Exactly, we can’t afford to act rashly and accuse Lady Amalia without tangible proof.” Shinonomé concluded, turning around in her seat to watch the interaction, and even Qilby nodded along to his sister’s assessment, though he was mostly just watching the show. 

“Why are you taking her side?!” Efrim demanded, his eyes flicking back and forth between his siblings in betrayal. Then, he zeroed in on Yugo, jabbing a claw at him. “What, a few days together and you’re already so blinded by lust you fail to see reason?”

A loud gasp echoed around the room, aghast expressions taking hold of their occupants faces. Even Glip and Nora were looking back and forth between their brothers worriedly. In fact, the only ones who didn’t react much were Qilby—who limited himself to rolling his eyes at the unnecessary melodrama—, and Chibi, his eyes fixated on his work. At least Grougal had more tact and actually looked up in alarm at the exchange.

“Efrim, that is quite enough!” Adamaï growled in warning, taking a step closer to his younger brother. He would have got right in his maw if it weren’t for Yugo stopping him by placing his hand on his chest.  

His face hardening into a scowl, his brown eyes narrowed in on his brother, the Eliatrope King tried to keep his voice cool and even as he said, “This has nothing to do with lust. There’s nothing going on between Amalia and I.”

“Oh, so now we’re supposed to believe you aren’t the tiniest bit attracted to her?” The dragon taunted, tilting his head to the side mockingly. Then, he scoffed, smoke coming out of his nostrils. “Please, we all know your brain stopped working the moment she changed forms; Nora had a blast retelling that to us.” 

From the other side of the room, watching the tense exchange with unease, Nora couldn’t help but wince, cursing her mischievous and teasing nature. Luckily for her, everyone’s eyes were on her twin instead.

It was hard to tell if it was on purpose or if he’d meant to mutter to himself, but it didn’t matter, they all heard him loud and clear when he said, “Obviously, your brain has yet to reboot itself…”

In the blink of an eye, Yugo and Adamaï adopted offensive positions, ready to charge, while  Efrim had dropped on his tail, waiting for when his brothers decided to pounce. However, just as it seemed a confrontation was imminent, a clear, authoritative voice cut through the tension: 

“That’s enough, you three!”

Everyone turned towards the origin of the voice. Leaning against the wall, her arms folded over her chest, stood a tall, elegant woman whose sharp, intelligent brown eyes were settled on her siblings. Her features were soft, the only indication of her silver hair being the two strands falling from her Eliatrope hat and delicately framing her face; unlike her siblings’, her hat pointed upwards and was tied in the middle with a piece of robe. She wore a long, sleeveless turquoise dress and armlets—all the same colour as her hat—, another rope tied around her waist as a belt. 

Normally, Mina was the most level-headed and collected member of the Council. But right now, her eyes were blazing furiously. 

She focused on Efrim, her hands on her hips as she adopted a reprimanding posture. “Efrim, enough of this! That is no way to speak to your brother, let alone your king!” 

“But he—!”

“I don’t want to hear it!” She cut him off, raising one hand as if to empathise her point. Her ears perking up at the sound of the other two’s muffled laughter, she swirled on them at lightning speed, causing them to yelp in surprise. “And that goes for you two as well. This is a place meant for debating and reaching compromise; what would our people think if they caught wind of infighting between their leaders?!”

“Tell that to Mr. Accusations over there.” Adamaï jerked a thumb Efrim’s way, who scowled. 

“I simply don’t understand why Yugo’s so quick to defend someone we barely know even when she’s exhibiting suspicious behaviour.”

Yugo was about to open his mouth, a counter on his lips, when Mina beat him to it. “Because Lady Amalia is not here right now to defend herself. It’s not right to accuse someone of something as serious as spying with malicious intent when they’re not even here to explain themselves.” As she said that, she also sent a glare Glip’s way for encouraging Efrim’s behaviour, the shortest Eliatrope shrinking even further in his seat under the heat of her gaze. 

 “Thank you, Mina.” Yugo sent his sister a nod, silently thanking her for intervening when she did as well. Thanks to their gifted wisdom, she and Phaeris were excellent conflict mediators; they always knew how to de-escalate an argument and resolve a dispute the fairest way possible. Be it among their subjects, or their siblings. He turned his focus back on Nora’s twin. “Efrim, I understand your concerns, but we can’t just brand Amalia as a traitor, not when there’s so much on the line. Do you see that now?”

But the furious flickering of Efrim’s tail and the low growl he emitted were signs of his agitated state. To him, it was plain to see they intended to let the doll’s actions go without a proper investigation, and that was a risk he knew they couldn't take, for it might lead to them losing everything. After all, they left the Mechasms to their own devices for millenia, convinced their bond would always remain symbiotic. And yet, next thing they knew, they had inexplicably lost their home at the hands of the very species they once trusted as their own.

Who was to say the Divine Doll, having been sent by the gods the very people that despised them worshipped, would not lead them to a similar outcome? It had only been two weeks since she arrived, that hardly counted as enough time for someone to prove themselves as trustworthy. 

How could his siblings not see that? Did the Mechasm War really mean so little to them? Hadn’t they all experienced the same horrors? Then why were they so willing to put their people’s safety in jeopardy like that? Why—?

A warm, comforting hand he was intimately familiar with made contact with his skin, rubbing soothing circles on his back. Eyes widening slightly, he turned his head to look back at Nora, his twin sister flashing him a small smile to remind him she would always be there. As always, her presence worked like a charm, allowing his shoulders to lose their tension and his mind to think a bit more clearly. 

Now that he wasn’t so overcome by anger and grief, he chanced a look around the room, and noticed everyone’s uneasy eyes on him. Realising what he might have done if he had lost control, the young dragon forced himself to take one deep breath and let it out slowly, the fog in his mind finally clearing.

“I’m sorry. I… I don’t know what came over me. I-I just…”

This time, he was interrupted by a hand on his shoulder. When he looked up, Yugo was smiling kindly at him, Adamaï mirroring his expression, although his position remained slightly more guarded.

“It’s alright, Efrim. We’re all just tired from having to fight for the right to exist. It’s not your fault.”

He let out a mirthless chuckle. “Yes, I suppose you’re right, my King.”

“I think your bride’s presence has left us all a little rattled, Yugo.” Chibi commented idly, finally putting his latest invention down. “I propose we take a few minutes to decompress before tackling the subject again.”

“She’s not his bride, remember?” Nora recalled, some levity returning to her voice as she chuckled impishly.  “They’re just ‘friends’.” She made sure to air-quote exaggeratedly. 

She let out a loud yelp when Yugo shoved her not-so-playfully in retaliation, almost knocking her to the ground. After a beat, laughter filled the room, some of it more reserved than the rest, but the Eliatrope family finally began to relax despite the tense meeting they found themselves in. 

Still, Efrim’s words echoed in Yugo’s head. A part of the Eliatrope King had a hard time believing Amalia could be gathering intel on them per the gods’ request. And it wasn’t because he was attracted to her—because he wasn’t! Acknowledging an objectively attractive person was attractive was not lust, just mere facts. But because, despite their limited time together, her childlike wonder for the world around her and slight awkwardness when dealing with him made it plain to see the Divine Doll didn’t have much experience with the outside world. 

Or, at least, she didn’t know much about the Eliatropes. Which made sense, given they hadn’t even been on the same planet until less than a year ago.

Maybe she was just curious and wanted to learn more.

However, she was also quite reserved and courteous. Even when he took notice of the way her eyes glimmered in fascination at some of the things he showed her, she never asked anything about them unless he talked about them first. Which could be her way of throwing them off her trail. If she didn’t appear overly interested and eager to know more, then they would have no reason to believe she was spying on them and trying to learn their weaknesses. She could just be playing dumb.

Just as Yugo was beginning to question the Sadida Doll’s true intentions, Adamaï’s words made him realise how unfair he was being. 

“I understand your concern, Efrim.” He began, sliding up to the younger dragon and snaking his tail around his shoulders for comfort. “It's too soon to claim we know everything about our guest. But if it makes you feel better, when she arrived and we showed her around a little, I took the chance to read her wakfu.”

“You read her wakfu!?” Shinonomé exclaimed in surprise, her eyebrows shooting up to the ceiling. “But, Adamaï, didn’t you learn from that botched meeting with this world’s rulers? That is something extremely invasive here!”

“I know, I know.” The white-and-blue dragon raised his palms up placatingly. “However, I figured it was justified given an outsider would be living with us from now on.”

At his words, the red dragoness paused, seemingly reflecting over what he said, before she finally calmed down with a nod of assent. 

His sister placated, he continued, turning his focus back on Efrim. “What I saw was a clean aura. While it might be too soon to lower our guards completely, at least we can trust we’ll be able to tell if there are any changes.”

“I… suppose that’s fair.” Efrim acknowledged, his claw holding his head pensively. 

“Nevertheless, I could try getting to the bottom of this and figure out why she wanders through the palace alone.” Yugo said, his tone light, but the meaning behind it was serious. 

“But Yugo, what about offending the gods? Won’t accusing Amalia of having ulterior motives for being here cause trouble for us?” Nora asked, her brow furrowed in concern. 

The king just rolled his eyes. “I’m not saying we lock her up in the dungeon and refuse to give her food or water until she fesses up; I’m just going to ask her nicely but directly for an explanation.”

“Uh… Not to be rude, but what makes you think she'll just up and tell you just because you ask nicely?” Glip arched an eyebrow, staring at his brother like he’d grown a second head. 

Blinking in confusion, Yugo could only shrug helplessly, as if the answer was obvious enough. “Um, because I’m clearly the one she’s closest to around here? If she’s gonna be comfortable opening up to someone, that someone is me.”

Silence fell over the council room, the Council looking back at their king and blinking slowly at his thought process. And then, after a beat…

“Yeah. Are you sure there’s nothing going on between you two?” Qilby asked, his tone dripping with ill-veiled amusement. His smirk only grew at the blush colouring his king’s cheeks. 

Oh, who knew having a Sadida Doll around would be this fun!

“There’s not!” Yugo squealed, before realising how his voice sounded and clearing his throat. Purposely making his voice sound deeper, he insisted, “Seeing as she is here because of me, I’m the one who’s been spending the most time with her, meaning she’s bound to feel more comfortable talking to me than any of you.”

“I don’t know.” Nora commented idly. She came to lean against a column, looking disinterestedly at her nails, although the amused smirk on her lips didn’t help hide her true feelings. “I was there when she introduced herself. And she’s just my type; I’m sure I could get her comfortable real quick…”

“Nora, down.” Mina said flatly. With an almost bored flick of her hand, she conjured up a portal directly connected to the sea, causing some of the water to be sprayed straight into her younger sister’s face. 

Nora hissed in displeasure. 

“Thank you, Mina.” With that taken care of, Yugo turned his focus back on the conversation at hand. “The point is, she’s here because of me, so I should be the one talking to her about her daily walks around these walls…” After a beat, he couldn’t help but wonder aloud. “It is a bit odd how often she’s out of her room even when I’m not taking her anywhere…”

“Maybe that’s the problem?” Mina suggested. 

“What do you mean?” Adamaï asked, tilting his head in confusion. 

“Maybe she’s out and about so much precisely because she doesn’t like her room.”

“Oh, no. That’s impossible.” Chibi waved the mere notion off at the same time as Grougal vehemently shook his head. “Girlie got one of the best rooms in the entire palace; she’s got nothing to complain about!”

“Grougaloragran’s interior design is flawless.” The black dragon leaned back in his chair stubbornly. His mere body language was challenging everyone gathered to try and contradict him. 

The thing about genius inventors and master builders was their ego. And when you had literal lifetimes to perfect your creations and master new disciplines like Chibi and Grougal did, your ego was the size of Amakna. 

“Well, whatever it is, I’ll get to the bottom of it. I promise.” Yugo said quickly, not really in the mood to listen to another long-winded spiel about the intricacies of architecture and interior design, or how long it took them to realise the perfect shade to paint their walls in was eggshell white instead of cream white because cream white was too dark for the overall look they were going for. 

“Yes, it’ll be for the best.” Finally leaving her place beside the wall, Mina made her way to her seat, ready to get this meeting rolling and to present her and Phaeris’ latest findings to their siblings at last. As she did so, however, she couldn’t help but mutter, “For all we know, she’s just as much of an adventurer as you two and just wishes to explore a little.”

Yugo and Adamaï exchanged glances at their sister’s comment… and immediately afterwards had to stifle down their laughter. No one was as much of an adventurer as they were. Their wanderlust was insatiable. Part of the reason they were so eager to reach an understanding with the Twelvians—besides their subjects’ safety, of course—was so they could finally go see this whole new world without fear of causing a commotion. 

“If she turns out to be as much of an adventurer as Yugo and Adamaï, she’d better not clutter Grougaloragran’s beautiful room with her knick-knacks. Grougaloragran did not spend thirty-six hours painting those walls only for a pile of souvenirs to hide them from view.” 

......................................................................................................................

Amalia found herself exploring every nook and cranny of the palace yet again. Even though the Council’s residence would technically be her home for who knew how long, meaning she believed she had a right to know where she lived, a part of her couldn’t help but feel like she was doing something wrong. Especially when she encountered some of the council members besides Yugo. 

She shuddered subconsciously when her mind traced back to a few days ago, where after turning a corner she’d come face to face with Nora and the Eliatrope dragon she introduced as her brother, Efrim. While Nora had remained as polite as when they first met—though the meaning of some of her comments flew right over her head—, her twin was a completely different story. 

His loaded gaze was fixated on the Sadida Doll the entire time. It was so intense, Amalia couldn’t help but feel scrutinised, curling over herself for comfort. She vaguely remembered gulping involuntarily in his presence. For some reason she couldn’t explain, the doll had a feeling Efrim didn’t like her much. 

Fearing she might get the same reaction from the other Primordial Eliatropes and their dragon siblings—the little one, Glip, if her memory didn’t fail her, didn’t seem very nice—, Amalia tried not to get too greedy. In other words, whenever she ventured around the palace walls on her own, she made the conscious effort to always discover new rooms one place at a time, and to never remain away from her room for long periods of time. 

Her first little adventure had been a simple walk from her chambers to the throne room. Deep down she was mostly just making sure she’d be able to remember where her room was even without help. She was just retracing her steps, really.

The next logical step was to include the dining room to her slowly-increasing list. Most of the time her food was actually delivered to her room by some servants, be it breakfast, lunch, or dinner. But sometimes, her time together with Yugo would either start or culminate in the two of them sharing a meal as they made civil conversation. Thinking back, she had yet to have dinner with the entire Council of Six at once. Although Yugo said that was mostly because they were all so busy and had such different schedules, their dining together was a rare occurrence these days. 

Then she considered it best to know where all the delicious food she got to enjoy each and every day came from, so she made her way around until finding the kitchen. Just her luck, she stumbled upon it just as the chef and kitchen staff were getting ready to begin making lunch. 

To say they all had been mutually startled by their presence would be an understatement. 

Even so, as soon as everyone’s heartbeat was once again under control, they all shared brief interactions as they introduced themselves. Amalia learned many things that day, but the one that stood out the most to her was the fact that she didn’t see herself cooking any time soon. 

She had been understandably amazed by the way Chef Telif and his staff transformed raw ingredients into culinary delicacies; it was almost magical. But something about the process—the patience it required, all the cutting, slicing, and chopping involved, how dirty one could get—just didn’t sit right with her, for some reason. 

Today, her usual exploring had led her to the palace school. While she didn’t dare open the door, as she vaguely recognised Glip’s voice and she didn’t want another encounter like the one with Efrim, Amalia couldn’t bring herself to stop listening to his lesson from behind the door. 

She couldn’t quite catch everything he said, but the few things she did understand were incredibly fascinating. The more Glip spoke, the more Baltazar added or put things into context, the more Amalia wanted to know. In the end, she stayed glued to the door for the entirety of the lesson, only tearing herself away from it when she heard the teaching duo dismiss the class, causing Amalia to yelp as she hurried to get away and back to her room. 

It was precisely on the way back to her chambers, that an unexpected but increasingly familiar voice cut through her thoughts. 

“Amalia.”

Gasping in surprise, she turned around, her face breaking into a wide grin at the sight of the one person she could call her friend here. She didn’t really understand why the sight of him made her so happy; she just relished the warm feeling she got whenever he was close. 

“Yugo!” She exclaimed in delight. Skipping closer to him, she couldn’t help but beam, “What a surprise, I didn’t expect to see you today! Normally, you come looking for me in my room shortly after you’re done with your daily training.”

Clearing his throat at the reminder of their daily routine, a small blush coming to his cheeks, the Eliatrope King tried to redirect the conversation where he wanted to without arousing suspicion. “Well, yeah. That’s true. But there’s something I want to ask you and the sooner I do it, the better.”

Then, he gestured for her to follow him as they continued their walk, their pace unhurried.

“Oh.” She could only blink at that, surprised by his reason for seeking her out. Pulling herself together, she shrugged. “I see. And… what is it you wish to ask me?”

“This is just like ripping a band-aid off. The sooner I say what’s on my mind, the sooner we’ll be done.” Yugo told himself, steeling his resolve even as he noticed Amalia’s big brown eyes staring back at him expectantly from the corner of his eyes. He gulped.That made it slightly more difficult. 

Taking one deep breath, he decided to just go for the kill. “Amalia, is there a reason why you’re always wandering around the palace halls on your own?”

Eyes widening at his question, she couldn’t help but avert her eyes, ignoring the way the action caused the Eliatrope to narrow his own eyes at her. Yes, there was a reason for her daily little excursions, but she couldn’t tell him what it was! Her arrival had already shaken them off quite badly, from what she’d gathered; she couldn’t make things even more difficult for them. 

Besides, admitting she just felt lonely while Yugo and his siblings were busy ruling their people just felt childish and selfish. 

“No, there’s no reason.” She said instead. “I just want to know more about you and your people, I guess.”

Unfortunately, saying that had been the wrong move. Alarmed that Efrim and Glip might have been right, and knowing the Divine Doll was lying because of her elusive response and guarded pose, Yugo pressed on. 

“Amalia, I’m not mad. If there’s something bothering you, you can just tell me.” He tried to keep his voice even and reassuring, but nothing could keep the tinges of irritation from leaking through. 

The Divine Doll, of course, picked up on it. “You don’t really sound like you’re not mad… Quite the opposite, really.”

“And it definitely doesn’t look like you have no reason to wander around on your own.” Yugo bit back accusingly, before wincing at how easily he was losing his temper. 

Startled by his words, Amalia bit her lip and averted her eyes. She contemplated on coming clean, but decided against it. It really was nothing, so she told him as such:

“It’s nothing important.” With a flick of her head, she walked ahead of him, hoping that would put an end to their conversation. She was abruptly stopped in her tracks, however, by Yugo’s hand firmly taking hold of her wrist and bringing her closer. 

Seeing the surprised expression on the Divine Doll’s face and worrying he might have gone too far or caused her harm, the King of the Eliatropes let her hand go with a sigh. He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, “Amalia, please. Just tell me what’s wrong. I promise, whatever the reason, we can talk things out, but I need to know why you’re always walking around the halls on your own.”

He chose to keep to himself how her actions were rather suspicious and putting his siblings on edge, the fear of a potential betrayal lingering in the air. He had the feeling that would only rattle her even more. 

For a while, Amalia said nothing. She just kept looking down to her side, her lips pursed and one hand rubbing the wrist he grabbed absentmindedly. For some reason, that irked him. That irked him beyond belief. 

Here he was, doing everything in his power to give her the benefit of the doubt, to allow her to prove his brothers wrong and clear things out. Great Goddess above, he was actually putting a stranger’s feelings over his siblings! And here she was, not even trying to make things easier for him, doing everything in her power to appear as guilty as possible instead. 

Narrowing his eyes, he opened up his mouth, “Amalia, were you sent here to—?”

But just as he was about to flat-out ask for her true intentions and risk offending the gods with his distrusting nature, the Divine Doll unknowingly saved him when she blurted out, “I just hate being in my room, okay?!”

Mouth dropping in disbelief at her words, his brain struggling to process what she just said, he caught a flicker of blue from the corner of his eyes. Blinking in surprise, his eyes travelling fleetingly to Amalia’s form as she hid behind him with a squeak, Yugo could only look on as two very agitated Chibi and Grougaloragran jumped right out of a portal and in front of them. 

“What do you mean you hate your room?!” They bellowed in unison, incredulous. Their imposing figures only intimidated Amalia even more. 

Taking notice of the Sadida Doll’s discomfort and feeling a surge of protectiveness rising within him even despite the previous tension, Yugo cleared his throat to get his brothers’ attention. Once their eyes settled on him, he discreetly motioned with his head for them to take a step back. 

As soon as they obliged his silent request, he glanced down at Amalia, meeting her gaze. “Is that true? You just don’t like your room?”

He almost felt a vein pop at the way Chibi and Grougal were ‘whispering’ among themselves about how it was a much bigger deal than he made it out to be. 

Amalia, however, was undeterred. Emerging from behind him, despite the fact that she had her arms around herself, hugging herself for comfort, her voice was loud and clear when she said, “Yes, that’s the truth. I spend so much time around the palace because I can’t stand being there.”

“But why?!” Chibi demanded, before a warning look from both Yugo and Grougal forced him to take a better look at the doll and realise he was making her uncomfortable. He sheepishly cleared his throat. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, my Lady, but yours is one of the finest rooms inside these walls.”

“I know. I’m sorry, I just…” The words got stuck in her throat. She still felt so silly for complaining about this after the Eliatropes had been so kind to take her in, even when they had informed her she might not be able to fulfil her original goal. But just as she was biting down on her lip, willing the words to leave her mouth, she felt a hand on her shoulder. 

Looking up, she saw Yugo smiling comfortingly down at her, encouraging to speak up without fear of retaliation. She felt her cheeks grow hot. 

“Amalia, it’s okay. We just want to help, that’s all.”

Recovering from her momentary shock, she gave a determined nod and took one deep breath before explaining herself. “Back in Father’s realm, I could feel everything. Everything was a part of me and I was one with it all. It was like I was never alone and, I don’t know, I guess that was very comforting. 

“But here, in my room… Everything feels so sterile. I know there’s so much more beyond my balcony, beyond these walls, but I can’t connect with it like I did in Inglorium. At least, not when I’m in my room. Everything feels so cold in there, so stifling. The more I spend inside those walls, the more I can feel them closing in on me… I hate it. I only feel better when I’m away from it, like when you come to spend time with me.”

As she admitted how she felt, she looked up at Yugo, hoping to convey what she was saying to him in particular. “I guess I’m always going around the palace to escape that feeling, to escape that loneliness…” She said that last part with a voice so small, Yugo, Chibi, and Grougal had to strain themselves to hear her properly. 

Yugo was taken aback by the waves of sympathy he felt towards Amalia at that moment. He, too, hated being confined to one place, that was the reason why he and Adamaï were always adventuring, just like it explained why he’d been feeling so restless ever since they arrived at the World of Twelve and they’d been more or less confined to Oma Island for months. Thinking back to these past few weeks since the Sadida Doll arrived, he realised with a start he hadn’t been feeling quite as on edge since she arrived. 

Apparently, Amalia was good at taking his mind off certain things, after all.

And seeing her now, so despondent… It just didn’t sit well with him. He had to help her somehow.

Sending a meaningful look his brothers’ way, the three of them silently convened on what to do. With a nod of agreement upon deciding on what course of action to take, he turned his focus back on Amalia.

“Would it help if we tried to make your room feel less lonely?”

She perked up at that. “Can you really do that?”

“Please.” Chibi scoffed playfully, matching smirks on his and his twin’s faces. “Grougal and I designed this whole place’s layout.” He said, gesturing at the palace around them.

Grougaloragran finished for him. “There is nothing we cannot do.”

.....................................................................................................................

After a grateful nod from Amalia for their offer, the four of them made their way back to her room. Thinking back, Yugo had never paid it much mind. Back when it was still unoccupied he, realistically speaking, had no reason to be there, and once Amalia did arrive, the few times he picked her up he would just wait for her by the door, never stepping foot inside. 

But now that he was here, he could sort of see why Amalia would feel so down—though he would never admit it to Chibi and Grougal out of self-preservation. Yes, the Divine Doll’s room was pretty, spacious, and had everything anyone could ever need, but it definitely didn’t feel cosy or lived-in. Maybe it was because it had barely been two weeks since Amalia lived here, or maybe it was the fact that Yugo and Adamaï’s room back in their homeworld was filled to the brim with souvenirs from their many adventures, but this place was just bare.

If it weren’t because of Amalia’s unmade bed and crumpled sheets, the place would look as immaculate as if it didn’t have someone living in it at all. With a quick look inside her empty closet, Yugo momentarily wondered if he should summon the Royal tailor and have some clothes made for the Sadida Doll. She couldn’t just wear the very same outfit forever, no matter how good it looked on her—.

Shaking his head in an effort to dispel those thoughts, Yugo made a show of clasping his hands that momentarily startled the other people present. If he was being honest with himself, however, he was doing it more to get his own attention than his companions’. 

With forced cheeriness, he turned to the doll, “So, Amalia. Do you have any idea on how you’d like your room to look?”

“If you permit us, my Lady.” Chibi cut in, stepping deeper into the room. With a snap of his fingers, he opened a portal from which several papers fell into Grougaloragran’s awaiting arms. “While we insist you don’t change the murals—I’m sorry, but we really did spend a lot of time on those—, we have some suggestions that should really help liven up the room. Don’t we, Grougal?”

The dragon nodded. Picking up what to Yugo and Amalia looked like some random paper, he opened it with a flick of his wrist and pointed at its contents with his claw. “A warm-coloured carpet is a great choice; it can make anything feel more homey in no time at all, as well as help warm things up in winter. Chibi and Grougaloragran can also help you pick any poster you like to add a little personal touch. Not to mention, adding some home décor is another great choice. Personally, Grougaloragran believes you can never go wrong with a little gold.”

“But that’s mostly because he is a dragon and they're known for being such hoarders. Just ask Enutrof.” Chibi whispered to a bewildered Amalia, purposefully ignoring the way his twin huffed at him in annoyance. 

“You say that as if you weren’t wearing gold-plated armour right now.” Yugo pointed out flatly, raising one eyebrow sarcastically. 

Blinking in surprise at the revelation, Amalia tried to steal one quick peek under the muscular Eliatrope’s black cloak and, lo and behold, Yugo was right; he really did wear golden armour underneath!

Chibi made a psh! sound with his mouth as he crossed his arms in mock offence, rolling his eyes. Looking back down at the Divine Doll, he put an arm around her surprisingly small shoulders and brought her closer—and secretly but thoroughly enjoyed the way that small action seemed to ruffle his king’s feathers, judging from the irked grimace on his face and his left eye, twitching every so often. 

Two words: in denial. 

Stowing that for later, the white-haired Eliatrope turned his focus back on the conversation at hand. “Anyway, my Lady, it’s your room. What would you like it to have?”

Glancing back and forth between Chibi’s hand on her shoulder and back at his face, Amalia could only blink for a while, her brain struggling to catch up with the rapid-fire conversation they had just had over things she didn’t understand. She didn’t really know anything about carpets, or home décor, or whatever; but she did know what she wished her room had. 

“I was thinking about adding some plants?” She finally admitted. 

Her response caused the three men in her room to just blink at her for a few seconds, then at each other, astonished, though mostly for not being able to figure that out themselves. After a beat, the Sadida Doll had to do a double take because Chibi went from standing by her side to rejoining his twin brother through a portal. 

She wondered if she would ever get used to that. …or even go through one herself. What would that feel like?

“I mean, technically, she is a Sadida. It makes perfect sense she’d want some plants in her room.” Chibi reasoned, a hand to his hairy chin. 

“Plants do add a lot of life to a room.” Grougal concurred. Then, he pointed at a corner of the room, near her vanity. “We could put a nice ficus there.”

Chibi’s whole face just lit up. “That’s a great idea! Or maybe, we could put the ficus over there,” he pointed at the opposite side of the room, “and place a flower vase on her vanity!”

“Grougaloragran believes Qilby has quite the nice selection of specimens. We could always ask him.”

“Oh, you’re right! And you know Qilby, always eager to show off his entire collection. Though that could also mean he might get a bit cranky if we ask him to lend us some of his plants ‘just to decorate a room’”, he air-quoted with a roll of his eyes his twin couldn’t help but mimic. “Maybe if we told him—”

As they discussed things, Amalia just stared at them while they went at it, feeling a little lost. She might not have spent much time on Oma Island or got to intimately know its residents, but somehow, those two were some of the most eccentric people she had ever met. Suddenly she felt a presence slide up to her, though by then she had a pretty good guess as to who it was. And, sure enough, looking up, she saw Yugo staring down at her with a tentative smile on his lips.

“What do you say, Amalia?” He asked. “Do you think that’ll be enough to make you feel better?”

Instead of answering right away, Amalia bit the inside of her cheek, thinking long and hard about what she wanted and, more importantly, what she could do to get it. She was obviously grateful to Chibi and Grougaloragran for offering their help, but she honestly didn’t see how their suggestions could accomplish much. Especially when she believed she had a much more effective way of doing things…

Her mind made up, a determined glint in her eyes, she called out to the inventors. “Um, excuse me?” When she had their full attention, she continued. “While I’m very grateful for all your help, I think I actually have a better idea?”

Exchanging intrigued glances and a shrug, the white-haired Eliatrope and his dragon twin simply crossed their arms over their chests, giving the Sadida Doll the silent ‘go-ahead’. “Well, let’s hear it.”

However, Yugo, Chibi, and Grougaloragran could only look on, perplexed, when, instead of answering, Amalia simply turned her back to them and walked a little deeper into the room, placing herself just in between her bed and closet door. Jabbing a thumb her way, they tried asking their king for an explanation, but he could only offer a helpless shrug in response, just as lost as they were. 

Taking a deep breath, determination and power coursing through her veins, Amalia slammed her hands down against the floor, a current of green energy leaving her palms and travelling all around the room. 

For a moment, the three men present looked around the space, waiting for something to happen. When after a beat nothing seemed to have changed, Chibi opened his mouth to speak:

“Well, it was a nice try, but don’t worry, we’ll take care of this in no—!”

His words were interrupted by a yelp leaving his throat as a sudden tremor enveloped the room and almost sent him crashing against the floor. It was only thanks to his twin’s quick-thinking he didn’t fall flat on his butt. 

While Amalia was beaming, Yugo and his siblings could only look on, holding onto each other for dear life and their mouths agape, at the events taking place right in front of them. 

From seemingly out of nowhere, countless vines sprouted outside the room and cascaded down the balcony; they were so long they almost formed a rope that reached the ground outside the palace walls. Inside the room proper, a torrent of flowers of all colours bloomed all over the walls—though, Yugo noted, they were careful enough not to cover any of the murals painted on them. As far as met the eye, the few spaces that weren’t covered in flowers or murals had huge, thick vines and ferns forming spirals, be it on the walls or on the floor beneath their feet—Grougal actually had to jump up to avoid one that was literally growing underneath him. Even her vanity’s bulbshrooms shone brighter. Their heads snapped in alarm at the sound of something breaking and, sure enough, a giant, red flower had blossomed right beneath Amalia’s bed, replacing it, and sent the piece of furniture flying in a dozen tiny pieces.

Thinking fast, Yugo conjured several small portals to catch all the broken pieces and deposit them down safely right outside the palace grounds, forming a pile of garbage that raised a few eyebrows among the passersby.

The end result was as if nature had overtaken the Eliatrope castle after centuries of it being uninhabited. It was both breathtaking and a little sobering. And to think this was but a fragment of what a Divine Doll could do with nature…

After all that, the only thing they could say to Amalia’s display of power was:

“Grougaloragran stands corrected. We could not have done that.”

Laughing in delight, Amalia threw herself at her new bed, squealing happily as she rolled back and forth over its petals. Despite his awed state, Yugo couldn’t help but smile fondly at the scene. Seeing her so happy for once was just precious. 

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” She exclaimed, propping herself onto a seated position. Opening her arms wide, she gestured at the space around her. “This is so much better. It finally feels like my room!”

“No need to thank us…” Chibi said, partly because they literally had done nothing. This was all her!

“It was our pleasure.” Grougaloragran agreed with a nod. 

And with that and kind wishes for Amalia, they exited the room, leaving their king and the doll alone. 

For some reason, while Amalia was on her bed, staring back at him expectantly, Yugo remained rooted to his spot. Suddenly, seeing her get comfortable inside the flower was bringing forth all kinds of thoughts he should not be having about her. It was best he remained as far away from her and her new bed as possible. 

“Thank you, Yugo.”

Amalia’s kind words broke him out of his trance. Looking back at her, his breath hitched. Once again, the sweet, warm, genuine grin she had on when they first met and he welcomed her in was curling at her lips, her brown eyes flashing with appreciation and gratitude. It was stunning. She was stunning.

He was starting to really hate Sadida and his prodigious craftsmanship. 

“For what?” He heard himself ask back. 

Amalia tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, almost shyly. “For… for worrying about me. For listening to me even when it was silly. You really didn't have to.”

“Hey, now.” He admonished her gently, subconsciously closing the distance between them. Almost without realising it, she took her by the hand. “Don’t say that. It wasn’t silly.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I mean, you’re our guest. The least we can do is make sure you’re comfortable.”

“I suppose you’re right. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He told her, a small smile growing on his lips. Then, he said a bit more seriously, “Amalia, if you ever feel uncomfortable or like you need anything, don’t hesitate to tell me. It’ll be much better if you’re just upfront about whatever’s bothering you, trust me.”

He chose not to tell her it would also make it easier for him and his siblings to come to trust her if she didn’t act so suspicious all the time. 

“I-I see.” She stuttered. “I-I’ll try to work on that.”

“I’m sure you will.” And with that, he let go of her hand and was about to leave her room when, just as he reached the door frame, she called out to him:

“Yugo, wait!”

Looking at her over his shoulder, her outstretched in his direction, he raised a curious eyebrow. “Yes, Amalia?”

“I-I was just wondering…” Amalia stammered, her hands fidgeting with her dress nervously. Pursing her lips, she couldn’t help but avert her eyes as she admitted, “I’d also really like to leave the palace.”

“Oh.” Was all Yugo could say to that. He rubbed the back of his head in discomfort, though he didn’t take his hood off, the doll couldn’t help but notice. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea…” 

“I just want to explore Oma Island!” She rushed out to clarify. “I… I just…” She hesitated. Frustrated with herself, she took a deep breath and started over. “Do you ever get the feeling that there’s so much more out there? Like your world is too small and you can’t wait to broaden it? That’s how I feel, I just can’t help it. Don’t get me wrong, the palace is beautiful and its staff very kind, and you’re always so nice to me but…! But I can’t help myself from wanting—.”

“More.” Yugo finished for her, unbidden. He could only stare at her in awe, his eyes glimmering with something foreign and powerful. Everything she said resonated with his very core. Everything she was expressing was the exact same thing he felt all the time! That pull to see what lay beyond his home, the need to live new experiences, the call of something new, and exciting, and unfathomable luring him in!

The feeling that you were constantly outgrowing what you already knew. 

That was precisely what he and Adamaï always felt, what pushed them to travel the world in search of adventure…

“For all we know, she’s just as much of an adventurer as you two and just wishes to explore a little.”

Mina’s earlier words echoed through his mind. Combined with her call on Amalia’s opinion on her room, it was a little unnerving how on the mark his sister could be sometimes. It was almost as if the prophet was her, instead of Chibi. 

Once again, Amalia put an early stop to his thoughts. 

“That’s right.” She chuckled softly. “My father helped create this world, Yugo, alongside the other gods. I just really want to see what they did.” Then, she grew nervous again, fiddling with her fingers. “So I was wondering if perhaps you could show me around?”

Almost involuntarily, his expression softened. Before he could even register his lips moving, he said, “Of course, Amalia. Let’s go out on an adventure together soon.”

The smile she rewarded him with was blinding.

It wouldn’t be until hours later that Yugo would come to a very unsettling realisation:

“Wait a minute, did she grow all that from stone?!”

[prettyrealm]

twice nayeon mini personality reading

securities vs insecurities edition

what is nayeon most secure in?

that she’s hardworking, ambitious and determined (knows she has good stamina, has great follow through and can steadily maintain a hectic schedule). that she’s stable and steady overall. that she knows all the luxuries and rewards she earned are truly deserved, that she’s an accomplished person overall (very proud of her level of fame both in general and within twice). that she can handle hate pretty decently and not let things bother her (she can read a bunch of comments and decide what’s real criticism and what’s just hate). her body shape and weight. her appearance overall, especially her ability to maintain her youth (she thinks she looks young for her age). that she takes care of herself well (she thinks she’s good at maintaining herself, taking pride in her appearance, hygiene, styling herself, looking luxurious etc). that she’s really feminine and womanly. that she’s a good catch (both romantically and platonically - she thinks she has high value and a lot to offer). adding on to that, she’s confident in her ability to get/be with a partner she deserves (she believes she should have high standards and that she can meet people who do fit her requirements). her social skills and her ability to get along with people (she thinks people like hanging out with her and she’s can easily maintain friendships). that she can stick to her own opinion and isn’t easily swayed. that she’s generous with what she has and a good gift giver (she thinks she’s really good at getting people things they’d actually appreciate).

what is nayeon most insecure about?

she feels embarrassed about a lot that’s happened in her romantic life (she thinks she’s made a lot of mistakes, ignored or not understood red flags, and has been bad at reading people/situations). that she can be bad at reading people in general (she’ll think she’s figured someone out but they shock her, leaving her feeling embarrassed). her sexual “skills” (she doesn’t know if she’s good at sex or not and doesn’t like having to “predict” how the other person expects her to be). she can be insecure about her sex appeal in general, in particular, she can have moments where she’s really insecure about her boobs and butt (she may wear push up bras or padding in both areas often when it’s particularly getting to her). that she doesn’t know how to ask for love, even when she thinks she deserves it (for example: she can have a habit of undermining or insulting herself in order to receive a compliment or acting victimized in order to receive comfort because she can’t communicate needing love forwardly). that she’s easily upset and moody (can cry over spilled milk and wishes she was more “chill”). that she’s not trusting and can’t be vulnerable easily (she feels she always needs to put herself in the position of having the upper hand “just in case” and holds back - also relates to how she can’t ask for love). that she’s easily embarrassed in general (for example: if her boyfriend cheated on her she would have trouble talking about it, she could think it makes her look like a bad girlfriend so it’s embarrassing or she thinks she should at least come across as not very upset even if she is, so she hides her true feelings and tells only half-true stories). that she’s not as close to people as she thinks others are (she knows she has friends she has fun with, but she thinks her lack of being vulnerable makes these friendships not as deep or valuable as the friendships she sees others experience). that she worries a lot about “losing everything” (basically, worried that one day she could lose all her fame and everyone would hate her, like thoughts about a random scandal or something ruining everything for her is something she thinks about a lot, but she doesn’t feel she can really talk about it). how obsessive she can get (especially in romance), and she would never tell people just how much she thinks about certain things.

[yuseirra]

(Vague..hints about what 165 would be, I heard about it, I'm...scared to see that chapter. It sounds really horrifying, I can't phrase it otherwise.)

I think I'm going to jot down my feelings. I honestly feel so, so sorry for people who like this manga..; on the bright side it's been a work that's...imbued things in me to write and draw this much about myself but I wish that'd only have happened on a positive note.

I think the author is really being too much..;; They're being so cruel. For what? Can this story get across a proper message? That's what's most important to me and I can take it if I'm convinced it is but... This current route is so far from what most audience would believe as fulfilling or.. Feel happy about seeing. Unless this is fake and the last chapter has some sort of happy closure to it all.

I started reading onk after the anime came out last year and kept up with it, ordering the volumes and reading them. After Chapter 154 and listening to the opening for Season 2, I just thought, “Ah, this is what it is… This is it.” (If you read my oldest? theory posts about this work, this July, you’d know what I mean. I think I’ve figured it all out, and so far, nothing I’ve said back then has been disproven; on the contrary, it STILL makes the most sense.)

I have myself an idea of what this could be, but unless Ruby uses Amaterasu’s power to save everyone and bring them into a happy timeline in the final chapter, this is just...;;

Haha, seriously, this is... phew...

It’s true that Ai and the person she really loved had mutual feelings, but that person went completely insane and caused some incredibly serious issues, forcing Aqua to go after him with everything he had.

From how things are unfolding, I think these points have been confirmed.

We also learned that person was originally good enough to be called noble<I feed off this info like cow eats grass... That's the thing that keeps me going lol Kamiki is nuts...oh please...I really care for him

We know Aqua had a mission assigned from the gods.

For Ruby’s future, he had to capture their father, and this task required him to put everything he built in the story so far on the line.

I kind of understood this? Even if accepting it is a different matter.

No matter how important revenge is in Aqua’s narrative... it’s like, what should I even say? Kamiki ended up devouring Aqua’s story to such an extent that the latter part of the story feels overshadowed by him, and yet Kamiki hasn’t been explored in enough depth for that.

For those following Aqua, this progression feels incredibly harsh. Even if you were rooting for Aqua, the villain he’s up against should be properly fleshed out. Kamiki is full of gaps everywhere. Maybe some parts are intentionally hidden, but what they’ve done feels too much like a Deus ex Machina.

The things he’s been said to have done aren’t even within the realm of what an ordinary human could achieve, it's beyond logic. So unless he’s literally a god, it doesn’t make sense. That’s why I kept insisting he’s divine. When you look at the clues related to his character, there’s actual foreshadowing that supports this theory. If he isn’t, then nothing makes sense. I even wrote a post as soon as Fatal dropped. I just knew THAT had to be it.

There are so many actions he took that can’t be explained unless he’s something beyond human, things that even gods would need to intervene in, assigning missions to Aqua and Ruby. That’s the development that makes the most sense.

Even so, this plot is too much for fans who have loved and followed this series.

I kind of get it, but for fans who have been deeply attached and following this work(this includes me too), the final chapter… Even if there’s something to look forward to, it doesn’t seem like it’ll be worth getting your hopes up. And I'm usually a very hopeful person. It feels like the author wanted to try writing an ending like this, but even then, this... The last 10 chapters or so feel like they consumed all the preceding content.

If Kamiki had been more prominently featured and well-developed, that might have been different (I probably analyzed him more than anyone else out there, because there wasn’t much to go on, and I tried to understand what kind of person he was, filling in the gaps to infer his behavior and motives since his perspective was never shown). But Kamiki, who isn’t as well-developed as Aqua, now holds a weight in the story that makes Aqua sacrifice everything he’s built. I really wish they did both characters justice. I really liked them both.

In that case, he needs to be an unimaginably terrible villain. From what spoilers suggest, what he’s done is indeed severe. But if Ai truly loved such a person, and that’s flipped with the limited remaining chapters, the story becomes trash... Haha. Then what’s the point? I don’t know. That, I really don't wish nor see being contradicted.

Kamiki was kind but lost his mind. (Him being kind is something I never want to give up till the end. I just see it REALLY well too.) So he did a lot of things, I get that. But can something of this scale really happen in modern society, to the point where the protagonist must sacrifice their life?

If so, shouldn’t there be some justification brought in from outside the story to make it convincing? Hence, Kamiki is essentially a god, as suggested by his very name. He was a noble god who fell. There’s enough context, hints, and foreshadowing to support that. He was exposed to malevolence from a young age and became tainted by it. He probably did love Ai, which is why he wielded his power so recklessly, driven by madness to reunite with her.

But even with this, there’s hardly any explanation. Why he went mad, what he did with his life—it’s all glossed over in a few panels. If he’s the villain that the protagonist *must* defeat, there should have been more depth and depiction to fuel that narrative, but it’s incredibly ambiguous. The story just throws a few lines at us and expects us to believe, “He could do all this, so the protagonist had to die,” and that’s it. (That's why... I'm not really sure if they make it want to seem like he's THE bad guy either. Since it's rarely explored in detail so we can't sympathize with the victims if they exist and...hate this guy even more for it. That approach I agree with, because it shouldn't be that way if this story wants a message. But who knows. Scary stuff; it just makes you baffled and dumbfounded and go, "what is this?";; Again, it'd make me question, 'What kind of guy did Ai even love?' I do have my own answers for that. He's her previous divine husband who became hopelessly flawed upon losing her, THAT'S what, so it's not on HIM that he's turned out that way. But who knows.)

Do you think that’s convincing...?💦 I’m filling in the blanks myself, but this feels too much. Whether the final chapter is 50 pages or 100 pages, it can’t wrap this up properly unless Ruby turns back time to save everyone and bring them happiness. I’ve heard there are about 50 pages for 166, but isn’t that just two chapters’ worth? It’s basically the same as a double issue, and given how little content there’s been in recent chapters, even if they combine two, I don’t think it’ll be impactful.

I genuinely feel sorry for the fans of this series. Does this development make sense to you? I’m so baffled that I can’t help but laugh when I think about the plot. It’s not even funny; it’s just painful to watch. How many people would have wanted this kind of ending? I once wrote that over 70% of fans might end up hating the conclusion, that I have a bad feeling about the writer having some kind of personal ambition to create a "twist" and experiment on it out of their artistic desires - and if it ends like this, they probably will. It's not like I didn't see it coming. I did tell all the others who came to read this work upon reading my fanworks to wait until it's complete, there are some things I really appreciate about it, but I wasn't sure it'd progress on your usual, happy and safe route. It could have been that way. The answers were all there. There were many opportunities where there were chances of this story getting an ending many would be satisfied with,

And if I’m wrong about everything I’ve said here, I’ll be just as lost. I really won’t understand any of it. But I’m confident I’m right.

The traits of Kamiki match those of the husband of Ame-no-Uzume in at least ten ways. That god even had a story that said he drowned.(but if he really died, that's ambiguous and he is worshipped pretty well along with his beloved Amenouzume)That's just too much to be brushed off as coincidence, he's at least INSPIRED from that god.

I believe he was originally very kind. I can’t let go of that idea, because it’s been evident to me, and it sticks in my mind. But if that’s true, then this is the story of someone who was kind but went mad, and a son who became a vengeful spirit after his mother’s death. The mother, worrying about the father, left what was almost like a final wish: “If your father is still straying, won’t you help him with me?” But the son kills his father, thinking there’s no hope for him, and ends up dying himself in the process. If that’s really the story, then how... how can there be any positive message to take away from this?

I think I understand what’s going on. I think I do... but the story has been so unfriendly and, as a result, feels disrespectful to fans who have loved the series.

I'm actually thinking: if Kamiki IS Sarutahiko the god of guidance who's been TWISTED due to making EVERY possibilities of a future turn horribly wrong, are we WITNESSING his powers in real time?? Is THIS an extension of what he's capable of? because, I feel like.. He's been bringing sufferings to everyone including himself. Oh in that case I'd totally understand his pain. He really would be suffering. And he's THAT dangerous. What if this comic is being really meta, huh?? I think he doesn't want this either. Losing Ai just.. Totally shattered him I bet. But seeing how things are, I think it could really have been his powers that caused her to die in the first place, unintentionally though. I won't forgive the author if HE'S the one who's killed Ai AND he's been doing all these things in order to get her back afterwards, that is just...so rude. It has no point...

There’s still one chapter left, and I know it’s not right to make a judgment prematurely, but if things go on like this, it’s truly too much...; I genuinely feel bad for those who have loved this work wholeheartedly. And for myself... if it doesn’t end as I’ve thought, then I’ve been completely mistaken, haha. But I came into this with confidence, not about Aqua’s side of things(I thought HIM out of all should get a happy ending. I still wish for that to happen), but about what the story wanted to convey through Aqua’s parents. I believed there could be a meaningful message despite how difficult it seemed, so I took the initiative and interpreted it, drew a lot. If I’m wrong, I can only blame my insight... The story itself never changed; it just stayed there. But I was confident. I’ve never been wrong when it comes to instincts or analyses related to psychology. I thought I knew what this was...

I hope this work gets resolved in a way that is respectful towards its fans whom really cared for the series...they-we-deserve that as much as the authors deserve respect. We're in this together as a fan and the writers. We should care about each other.