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#just really really hope shes not drinking again bc shes done rly well to be sober for so long now
toastsnaffler · 8 days
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had a friend stay over last minute yesterday which was nice bc I hadnt seen them irl in almost a year but did my mum have to text me at 12am apropos of nothing saying she was sorry I had to have her as a mother and she knows she needs help and diagnosis and medication. Man
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batslime · 1 year
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How was Till irl? Was he a good kisser (Don't answer this if it's uncomfortable lol). I am hoping I could meet him as well <3
First thing he did when he walked in the room after we were all there was sit on a couch and ask who wanted a drink lol
He was very hospitable but still in a partying mood/ set boundaries- very early a girl took her phone out for something and he got a little upset thinking she was taking pictures so we all put our phones outside but it didnt sour the mood at all (I was surprised when they didn’t ask us for them at first tbh) he was throwing glasses and flipping tables and stuff (i think he was showing off fjdnfjdn) but made sure nobody was in the way and would stop dead in the tracks to playfully shoo somebody, at one point all the water bottles had wither been drunk or gone flying so I started drinking from an ice bucket and he spotted me when he ran out of glasses and smirked at me and made this “give it here” gesture and threw that too fjdnfj
He danced a bit with some of the girls and had some of them put on music and yelled “this is teenager shit!” when somebody played Don’t Stop Believin and chatted with the multilingual people in other languages which I loved even if I couldn’t understand most of it lol. It was pretty loose and relaxed, he was very hospitable without being really formal about it, and I really enjoyed meeting the ladies back there too (there were a few times he had to leave the room briefly and I think me showing my new nipple piercings to the girls was the raunchiest it ever got hfhdj)
It def was nowhere near as crazy as I think ppl may assume, one of the ladies even asked if she could light a joint and the staff said no lmao. The smooches were nothing big, I think more of that kinda of old fashioned European expression than anything bc he also kissed Paul gn when he came in and kissed us all who were left goodbye at the end of the night, just a little peck. I don’t even like kissing. But yes I loved it and desperately pine for more I felt DRUNK on the first one esp since he just kinda did it out of nowhere in front of everyone else and hadn’t done smt like that before fjdnjf
It was a lot of fun! I don’t follow Rammstein like I did in high school anymore but I’ve seen some pretty recent instances of women he’s been in relationships with before say he’s one of the most polite and kind people they know, he just also gets really Sillay and likes bar fights and eating glass and will break people’s noses if they disrespect his friends. I think I heard Paul say once he loves women and women love him. Def got all that from him, he was rly funny and seems rly intelligent too, and did his best to make sure everyone was having a good but safe time (we got escorted out of the venue at the end of the night since we’d all been drinking). I’d love another opportunity to spend time with him again. I’d love a quieter more one on one chance to ask like what kind of music he likes, what he likes to hunt and fish, if he likes mushroom hunting. That’s kinda more of a fantasy tho ig and I def can’t be disappointed in what I got, best night of my life, def sets a high bar for if I ever get to see them live again lol
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icecreamkink · 3 years
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watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.
feelings.
very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful
anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start
in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr
listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?
For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies
i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics
fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service
slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it
wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0
i lov them
through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart
in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back
my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think
no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 
some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART
lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 
being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize
wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 
that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.
 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss
fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-
and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy
i have Learned. caves = gay.
 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)
the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it
early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 
EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 
i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance
 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)
jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"
jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry
lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((
up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all
seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez
that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir
 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE
when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious
all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them
hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)
its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
they are SO insufferable pleeeeease
in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”
in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.
 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss
the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)
ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok
you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 
jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)
i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 
the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic
and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic
i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon
and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 
The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 
wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh
me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”
its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ
everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 
ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 
“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;
the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes
untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo
related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 
and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 
 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 
highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.
lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 
on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn
also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'
when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///
hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss
they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad
when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN
so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted
even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 
wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)
the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid
wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)
LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k
take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood
zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 
cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!
wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn
everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 
showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 
justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁
jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief
my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession
the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 
“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”
"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd
also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice
yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON
they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((
wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer
both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w
;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all
wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience
the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected
on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY
lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;
 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together
also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy
wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation
did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins
jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;
i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 
im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 
when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 
also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point
 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?
wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"
unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 
and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 
jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say
i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-
 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE
a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 
literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour
babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 
(not that the pain is over LOL)
lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’
“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 
and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......
and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 
THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  
great now i made myself sad
and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??
JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 
and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it
enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏
 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him
babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  
one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks
wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺
so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh
a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 
her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao
 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 
like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby
and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 
anjo sensato :(
xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...
the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof
song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 
wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 
THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change
should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells
the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is
u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 
BAT WEN NING 
wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 
(they didnt) (yet)
DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.
i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again
also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever
mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy
also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious
i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something
jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he
the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 
in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT
oh my god oh my god
the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead
lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞
also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck
i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...
poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'
ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth
wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 
ME ON THE OTHER HAND"
the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*
"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard
not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho
i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...
re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?
idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling
i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again
jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god
and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night
i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not
jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'
the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl
never trust a dude with a fan.
nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 
when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.
and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy
netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)
the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........
there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 
that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*
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Text
handmaid - 06
PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader
WARNINGS: age gap, sexual content (18+)
A/N: i’m so happy you guys are enjoying this reader specifically. i have a soft spot for ingenues mostly because i was always type casted as the ingenue when i used to be in musicals and love to defend ingenues (mostly cosette bc everyone hates cosette FOR ZERO REASONS STOP HATING COSETTE).
 i was a bit afraid she would come out as very annoying (once again she is heavily inspired by cosette and christine and everyone hates cosette for, and i shall repeat again, no reason) but i’m rly glad everyone seems to enjoy this version if y/n. hope you enjoy this chapter xxx
NEXT CHAPTER
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White. That was the very first thing she saw, the pure white, unspotted celling of her bedroom as she woke up. The sunlight warmly caressed her skin, reminded her that she did not remember when or how she had fallen asleep. If she had purposely done so, she would’ve closed the curtains but the warmness of her face told her otherwise. 
Lazily, she raised her chest from the bed, sheets bunched up in one of her fists pressed against her chest. Y/N glanced over to the alarm clock on her nightstand, 5 AM, and then to her figure, she was still to get out of her undergarments and petit coat from last night. She guessed, she must’ve fallen asleep waiting for Gwen. As that came into her head, she rushed out of her bedroom, her feet padded over the dark floors until she reached her friend’s room, gently and slowly opening the door. Her worries subsided once she saw her friend sleeping on top of her duvet, dress and shoes still on. Well, at least she was home.
      - I’ve already checked on her. - Y/N slowly closed the door, her breathe getting stuck in her throat as she recognised Sebastian’s voice. In all honesty, she still did not know how to react around him, specially after last night. 
Nevertheless, she turned around, her body facing his despite the distance between the both of them. He was in much more casual wear, a far cry from the constantly pristine pressed suits he wore, wearing a loose white tee shirt with some grey sweatpants. Still, despite being dressed in approachable clothing, he still looked more intimidating than every man she had ever met. Who was she kidding? Even the loose tee and sweatpants were probably more expensive than everything she owned all together. 
Sebastian, on the other hand, felt his throat and mouth water up at the sight in front of him. The once very polished hairstyle had collapsed, probably during her sleep, and she was bare faced, rid of any makeup. However, it wasn’t that which sparked wild thoughts in his mind, it was what she was wearing. A white lacy bustier met by a voluminous white petticoat and a garter holding her stockings in place. She looked straight out of his wildest fantasies and he had to clear his throat before he could say anything else to her.
     - I can get the maid to prepare you some breakfast, if you wish. - he tried to look at anything but her body but god, did she looked like the most delightful thing he’d ever set his eyes on. - Anything you want. 
     - I think I’ll just sleep for a little longer. - she gave him her signature sweet and soft smile. He just nodded, afraid his voice would fail him as she passed by, her floral scent invading all his senses. She always smelled nice and he felt like a teenage boy admitting just how her scent alone drove him wild. Flowery, fresh, exactly what he expected someone of that level of naiveté to smell like. Innocent. 
As she disappeared from the hallway onto her bedroom to sleep until a regular hour, Sebastian bolted into his and from there straight into his own personal bathroom. Taking his clothes off, he stepped into the shower and turned the cold water on. He knew better not to think that way about her, specially her of all people who’d probably be by his future wife’s side for the rest of her life. Yet, he couldn’t. He couldn’t stop thinking of her plump lips, her polite sweet little smile and how the lace stood against her skin. Fuck. She was the most gorgeous little thing ever created.
The water rushed down his back, pooling at the porcelain floors of his shower while his hands were held up against the dark marbled walls. His lips were slightly parted as his mind took him back to her, her breasts caged by her bustier, her slightly parted plumped lips she would bite on whenever she felt any sort of embarrassment ... god did he want to bite that lip himself. At this point, half his mind was telling him to go for it while the other half was telling him he was going to hell for this, for thinking about such a precious thing is such a dirty manner. Hell didn’t scare him, he already had a first class ticket there so he might as well relish into the sins of the flesh. 
His hand lowered down from the wall down to his bulge, mind fixated on Y/N, on the memory of when he had first meet her. God, she looked even more stunning on her knees and he couldn’t help but imagine her plump lips around him, taking all of him with those innocent eyes starring up. 
He gripped his cock, taking a long initial stroke up and down and then a few more times. A loud groan escaped his lips as he pictured her on his bed, how pretty she would look moaning and squirming under him as she brought her to the best type of pleasure possible.
     - Fuck, Y/N ... - he moaned, thumb swiping over the red tip and threw his head back. He stroked himself a couple of times more in corkscrew like motions, groaning as he reached his release. - Fuck. 
He leaned his head against the wet marble walls, feeling the cold water rush down his back. Fucking hell, how was he gonna cope with her constantly padding around his house with an innocence of a Disney princess come to life. As he stepped out of the shower, he heard a knock on his door. It better not be fucking Gwen, he thought to himself. The last thing he needed was for Gwen to come over and annoy him with trivial questions. 
Sebastian pulled his underwear and sweatpants from the floor, putting them on before walking to the door of his bedroom, opening it to see a very concerned Y/N standing there. 
    - Are you alright? I heard you calling out for me? - god fucking damn it, he thought to himself. There she was standing worried about him and all he could think about was picking her up and throw her into his bed. - You have very thin walls. 
    - I think it might just be your lack of sleep playing tricks on you, angel. - Sebastian glanced at her face wondering if she had bought it, yet considering she was very tired and it was 5.30, she did. However, there was a hint of worry in her eyes. 
   - Are you sure? You look really red. - she raised her hand, moving it to touch his forehead which she would’ve done successfully had Sebastian not grabbed her wrist mid air. He knew that what he needed the least right now was for her to touch him. If she did, he would’ve probably need to jump back into the shower and stay there for a good hour. 
    - I’m alright, Y/N. Go back to bed and sleep. - Y/N wasn’t very convinced he was alright but decided to return to her bedroom nonetheless. She sat on the edge of her mattress, wondering if sleep was ever gonna come back. 
After a few minutes rolling around in her sheets, she came to the conclusion she couldn’t go back to sleep. Y/N got dressed in some leggings and a big hoodie, finally getting rid of the petticoat and the bustier that was starting to make her rather uncomfortable. Opening the door to her bedroom slightly, she peaked her head out, watching Sebastian walk into his office followed by a couple of men, already fully dressed up. She preferred him in his casual wear but by the sheer amount of men following him into his office, she guessed he was about to have a meeting. She sighed, grabbed her phone from the dresser by the door and went down the stairs to the kitchen where one of the maids, Amelia, was. 
   - Good morning, Miss Y/N. - the middle aged woman smiled at the handmaid, the first person she saw today. - What would you like for breakfast?
   - It’s okay, Amelia. I can do it myself, you don’t need to tire yourself. 
   - Miss Y/N, it is my job to take care of you and Miss Gwen. - she turned the kettle on before standing on the opposite side of the balcony. - I can cook you whatever you want.
   - I don’t wanna be a bother.
   - Miss Y/N, if you don’t ask me for food, then what am I supposed to do for the rest of the day? Mr. Stan doesn’t take kindly to people slacking off.
   - Could I get a poached egg on toast, then? - Y/N still didn’t feel comfortable asking for stuff. Technically and contractually speaking she was an employee like Amelia and the other bodyguards yet she still got treated like Gwen. Her mind kept screaming at her it wasn’t exactly fair. - But I do the dishes later, deal?
   - If you insist, Miss Y/N. - Amelia turned the toaster on, slicing two slices of sourdough bread and sticking them in the device before setting the water to boil in order to poach the egg. Y/N just stared, enjoying the low sounds of the kitchen appliances until screams started coming from Sebastian’s office which made her skip a breathe, not expecting the loud noise.
She could hear him scream at his men from his office in a language she had never heard. She wasn’t afraid of him screaming, the time to be scared of him was long gone and she would fear him more whenever she disobeyed him rather than when he screamed at his goons. Y/N was more than used to hear powerful men scream at their employees. She sipped on her tea, eyes moving from his office’s door at the top at the stairs to Amelia who was equally drinking the hot beverage, ignoring the noise. 
In the middle of all the noise, a very annoyed Gwen, still wearing her red gown, came down the stairs. Her eyes were still filled with sleep and laziness while the rest of her features showed a completely lack of ignorance towards the noise that probably woke her up.
   - Amelia, get me the greasiest plate of bacon you can manage and a cappuccino. - Gwen muttered, her head pounding at any amount of noise as she took a place next to Y/N. - This house fucking sucks. 
   - Maybe if you didn’t get drunk that wouldn’t have happened. - Y/N raised from her seat to help Amelia with Gwen’s breakfast order, turning the coffee machine on. The heiress just scoffed, leaning against the plush leather seats of the high chairs standing by the balcony. Who needed a mother’s reprimanding nature when Y/N was around? 
The handmaid placed a cup of coffee in front of Gwen who immediately downed half of it, along with some pain killers to take care of the impending headache caused by too much fine wine and champagne. Nevertheless, much to Gwen’s annoyance, the screams got louder as the door to the office opened and a bunch of very grown yet very scared men walked out still being screamed out by Sebastian who then closed the door with a bang. 
Gwen waved at the men as they entered the lift, her flirtatious nature still shining over the impending doom of her hangover. She was flirty and no matter how engaged she was, she was still gonna be herself and Y/N had to applaud her for that. 
  - I’m gonna take Sebastian some tea. Gwen, please make sure you take those and drink plenty of water, please. - she warned, silver tray in hand. 
Mr. Forrest always enjoyed a nice cold glass of whiskey after a blown out fight with his associates, however, Y/N thought that alcohol wasn’t something Sebastian should be having after last night. Despite him not showing any signs of a hangover, he still had downed a significant amount of champagne flutes while she was by his side and what he needed right now was some nice chamomile tea. 
Filled with courage that was slightly wavering, Y/N climbed the stairs up to his office, fist lightly knocking on the wood of the door. When no answer came, she knocked again but this time she got a very arrogant “What?” back.
  - Sebastian? - she opened the door up to a fringe, eyes roaming inside the office.
  - Y/N, what is it? - his tone seemed to soften as she walked into the room, closing the door behind with her foot. He had to say, he was rather disappointed she was no longer wearing the lacy undergarments. - Is that for me?
  - Yes. - she placed the silver tray on top of his desk. - I thought you would need something to calm you down.
  - The sentiment is sweet, angel, but I severely doubt tea is gonna calm me down. - he sighed and she furrowed her brows. No problem or worry was big enough that it couldn’t at least be temporarily forgotten with a nice warm cup of tea. 
  - Is everything alright? - she asked, concern on her voice. He bite the inside of his cheek lightly before replying to her questions, wondering if he really wanted to explain mob business to her. - Sebastian?
  - Just need to get some affairs in order. Take this as a lesson Y/N, if you want something done correctly do it yourself.
  - I’ve known that since kindergarten. Did they not teach you that? - he chuckled, not being used to hearing her joke around.
  - Please warn Genevieve that I’m going to Paris late this evening to get it sorted. Not that she cares very much about my whereabouts but just in case she wants to smuggle someone else into my home. 
  - You’re going to Paris? - her eyes lit up at the mention of the French capital. She had gone there once with Gwen but she mostly hanged around the resort flirting around with as many men as she could and, as per usual, Y/N had to follow her around to ensure she didn’t get kidnapped or taken advantage of. Not that it was easy to take advantage of Gwen, she just ... needed constant supervision to make sure she made the safest and soundest decision possible. 
   - Don’t get so excited, angel. It’s an highly overrated city filled with people that can’t do their job correctly. - even with the backhand comment, there was still a sparkle in her eye. - If you’d like, you can accompany me but I assure you it won’t be as fun as movies make it sound.
   - Oh no, I can’t ... - she played with her fingers, looking down at her shoes in disappointment. - Gwen is a bit ... sick from last night and I have to take care of her.
   - So? - he lifted an eyebrow at her statement. - Ask her to come too. I’m sure she won’t deny a free trip to Paris.
tag list: @sideeffectsofyou​ @lilya-petrichor​ @xoxohannahlee @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater @nikkipea​
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mirrorforevers · 4 years
Text
silently • graham coxon/reader
this is a direct result of this prompt right here
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don’t b sorry love, we’re all horny here. this prompt immediately took me out of my writer’s block so yeah gsdjsdhgsdj it was a blessing! tysm for sending it n i rly rly hope u enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it aaaaa i literally couldn’t stop. this one has a special place in my heart now.
also please tell me whatchu think abt this one on my askbox! unbeta’ed bc i love danger
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word count: 2.809
warnings: smut. shameless, fast paced fluffy smut.
You couldn't understand why the hell he was so nervous. On the way to your parents' home he asked more questions than a 4-year-old on their way to a park - what are they like, what do they like to do, do they know Blur? Do you think they will find my shoe ridiculous? I'm sure they'll think I’m a weirdo. What did you tell them about me? Even the many kisses you gave him were not enough to calm him down, leaving you to assure him that even if your parents didn't like him - which would be impossible, Graham was never better and more pleasant to live with - you would continue to like him. Very much.
Couldn't live without him, actually.
When you arrive at the door, your mother greets you with a wide, surprised smile - it didn't even seem like she had been begging to meet Graham for months and meticulously planned every minute of the time you would spend together. Her friendly posture seemed to make him more comfortable, the fact that your father was traveling also ended up making him more relaxed. “Dads are always frightening,” he’d say. He agreed to spend the rest of the night there after having an extremely pleasant dinner.
While he does the dishes, you and your mother clean the table when you decide to stop by the kitchen to talk to your boyfriend.
"It wasn't that difficult, was it?" You ask, a daring tone in your voice.
He smiles sheepishly. "Everything went significantly better than I thought it would, honestly."
“You did well. Not that she is hard to please, but you are really sweet.” You kiss him on the cheek. (It's so cute how he still blushes at these things after months of dating.)
"Thank you, love."
"I mean it. I think you deserve a gift for being like this.”
He looks at you, starting to pay even greater attention to the direction of the conversation. “And what do you have in mind?”
You whisper in his ear in the most seemingly innocuous tone you can feign. “I, for one, think you should fuck me senseless in the room upstairs.” He smiles, gaze a little lost in his surroundings as it usually goes whenever he’s pleasantly disconcerted by your dirty talk. Your hands travel his body subtly under his shirt. He hisses: “Can’t wait.” His voice is weak. You love to tease him like that.
You give him a little peck where his mouth and cheek meet – and then you motion to leave after a wink. “See you in a few minutes.”
“Babies, sorry to interrupt,” your mom arrives at the door, instantly killing off the whole mood you’ve created. “I forgot to tell you, but some other people from our family will be here in a few minutes. We’re not done yet!”
Graham’s really confused. You shrug and give him some context – “My family just loves gatherings in general. And they’re excited that I have a boyfriend now, apparently.” To which your mom points: “Exactly! They want to meet you too, Coxon!”
You can feel the anxiety building in him again already. He’s so uncomfortable it hurts, and you know his head is spinning. He doesn’t want to let you down, and after your mom leaves, you go back to calming him down again. “Baby, it’s okay, I promise. If you­’re too overwhelmed we--”
“No, no. I signed up for this. I’ll be okay. I’ll have a drink or two…”
You completely discard this possibility. No associating alcohol to social abilities anymore after everything he went through because of it. “No. We’ll find other ways to calm you down.” After some seconds of a silent yet intense brainstorm, you have an idea. But you won’t tell him. “Ok, I know what to do to take your mind off the pressure. Just wait and see, and no beers, alright?”
“Alright… I guess.”
After giving him yet another peck while he finishes cleaning the plates, you quickly run upstairs to change from the tight jeans and band shirt you’re wearing to a very light and flimsy sundress. And that’s all the clothing you choose. It fits you well, and leaves not much to the imagination. You know it’s a family gathering, but it’s also summer, so no severe dress codes were being enforced in any significant way.
He reads your mind the moment he sees you in the dress, shaking his head in pleased disbelief at the sight. He mouths a small “you didn’t” while a stupidly joyful smile slowly shines over the tight expression of worry he once had. To which you mouth back: “I did.” You then go back to playfully teasing each other a bit while you take care of the sudden assembly’s preparations.
Your family members arrive and, as expected, they’re really thrilled to meet your guy. Graham answers so many questions, and ends up sharing so much of how he feels about you with them, and bit by bit, the warmth and wholesome aura of your closest relatives makes him feel truly welcomed. He feels like he knows you even better now, now that he knows where your energy and vitality come from. He could see bits of your personality in every single one of them – of course you are still the splendid whole, but still. It made sense.
Also, you noticed he didn’t take his eyes off you the entire time. He was hungry and you’re glad your plan worked. It was easier to forget about how hard sociability is when his mind was somewhere else.
After a while, though, you could sense him getting fidgetier. Even though he was considerably and visibly more relaxed than he was a few hours ago, that amount of social interaction, specially while sober, still drained a lot of his energy. You take his hands, announcing you two were getting something else to eat. You go to the kitchen, not bothering to turn on the lights, and though the house is empty you two could still hear the enthusiastic discussion your family is having outside, slightly drowned by the distance and the walls separating you now.
“You did so great, baby.” You smile, giving him a victory kiss while he envelops you in a tight hug. He’s proud of himself too, and he deserves to feel like that. “They love you already.”
“They’re just like you, in a way. I’m glad everything went well,” he sounds relieved, still tired, but relieved. “I couldn’t stop thinking about that proposal you made me earlier, though.”
“I know,” You plant a chaste kiss on his jaw. “I felt your eyes on me.”
This second kiss he gives you feels different. It’s longer. Famished. Purposeful. His hands are friskier now, traveling hastily throughout your body, and you alternate between giving in and becoming progressively more alert of your surroundings. You can have an idea of where this is heading. The swirling of his tongue around yours makes you dizzy, and the feeling somewhat akin to an electric shock – but milder, and definitely more carnal – that flows through your body when he bites your lower lip and brings your hips closer to his brings you back to reality. “We have to be careful,” you whisper, each of your lips just barely touching while you breathe each other’s air.
“I promise I’ll be. You look delicious in this dress, I… don’t know where to start.” He cups your cheeks while drawing imaginary lines across your lips with the tip of his thumbs.
“Think fast. Never took you for a quickie guy.” You chuckle.
“I like to take my time, yes, but some things can’t wait.”
And with that, with the dexterity and carefulness of a cat, he sinks to his knees in front of you, lifting up your dress with one hand and one of your legs with the other, your leg now resting on one of his large shoulders. He takes hold of your hips, angling you toward him. You hiss in anticipation, and you can feel your core burning in expectation too. Your hands now firmly grab the counter behind you for support while you turn behind you with attentive eyes to see if no one’s coming. You’re safe, for now. The thrill of getting caught is one that will never get old.
His eyes seek yours for reassurance. You, without a word, give it to him. You both look lovely bathed in moonlight. He teases you first, kissing and sucking at the skin on your inner thighs, moving closer and closer to your center until after a couple minutes of that sweet agony his lips graze across that aching part of you.
He flicks his tongue delicately through your folds, playing with your wetness. The way his hands caress your lifted thigh so delicately while his tongue inscribes poems to your clit is something that makes your stomach flutter, you simply can’t ignore those tiny adorable actions that make loving him so addictive and rewarding. Keeping yourself silent and struggling to remain somewhat composed to anyone who might see you from outside is a painfully arousing contradiction to the sensations you’re feeling. He’s doing his best to fuck you up, gradually setting a rhythmic pace to his movements with the intent to release the spring now starting to coil tightly low in your abdomen.
“Jesus, Gra—f-fuck. Fuck.” You whisper, breathlessly, while simultaneously suppressing a moan when he delves his tongue even deeper in your core, your fingers instinctively curling and closing a fist on his hair, making him groan. You buck your hips against his lips and you can feel sweat beading on the backs of your knees, heart threatening to jump out of your mouth by how fast it’s racing.
You suddenly freeze when you hear a voice from outside approaching the kitchen and you lightly tap his shoulder. Graham stops on command, but he won’t get up until he’s absolutely certain he should. He sprinkles your thigh with small kisses again, eyes droopy with the high from giving you the pleasure he knows he’s giving you while he admires you. The person heading for the kitchen takes a turn to the opposite side and you sigh in relief. “False alarm. Go on, baby.”
“Yes, ma’am.” You notice he’s panting, and you can only guess how hard he is, judging by the tone of his voice. The time you spent frozen wasn’t enough to completely burn out the fire he’d already created within you, but he’s determined to give you an orgasm before anyone can interrupt you again – now he had two fingers moving, stroking, curling inside of you in delightful ways while his tongue began to work your clit in tight little circles. You could feel him moaning against your sex, he really liked this. And fuck, he was good at it. He slips one more finger into you, his ring finger, making your pleasure soon explode into a trembling climax. You couldn’t stop the little sound you made and he kisses your thigh in reply while still lazily fucking you with his fingers. “So fucking beautiful,” he whispers.
One of your hands move to your mouth in order to cover the sound you really want to make. Graham, once again, looks really proud of himself.
He slowly pulls his fingers out of you and cleans them with his tongue before he lifts up again as inconspicuously as possible. You try to look like nothing happened, and you’re both glad that, apparently, no one’s giving a single fuck to whatever’s going on where you are. Given the realization, you look at each other and giggle. He then pulls you in a hug, voice husky when he teases, and confesses, “You can’t imagine how bad I want to fuck you right here. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“We’ll have to take this to the bedroom, love.” You reply, still recovering from your orgasm. You can’t risk more than you’ve already risked. He looks slightly…
Disappointed.
You smile. “You thrill-seeking bastard. You enjoyed this way too much, didn’t you?”
“Didn’t you?” He questions back, tickling your sides, a wide, satisfied smile on his face. God, you loved him so much. He pulls you back to him again, and you turn to the other side so he can grind against you from behind. He’s rock hard. “We have some thick curtains here, after all.” You say, mischievously, before you close the curtains as carefully as possible. He lifts up your dress once again, this time high enough so he can fill his hands with your breasts, and he, agonizingly slowly, teases your nipples with his fingertips while he keeps grinding against you. This, alone, gets you motivated enough for another round. “God, Coxon, you’re going to be the death of me.” Your voice’s painfully needy, just like every other part of you.
You spread your legs a little wider to give him better access to you. Feeling cool air against your bare ass, you bite your lip and screw your eyes shut when his hand squeezes your butt. “Dripping wet for me. You’re glistening.” He quietly notes, giving your butt a little kiss - you then look over your shoulder to watch him get his jeans open. His hard cock bounces against your ass as he pushes his boxers down. You wiggle to get him inside you while he tortuously slowly runs the tip of his cock between the slick folds of your pussy. When it bumps against your sensitive clit, you can’t stop the mewl of his name.
After a few more hard breaths, he was inside you. You’re hungry for him too, and the sound of your body clashing against his is something unbelievable. You begin in a faster pace than the one you’re used to – and that’s not a problem. At all. Speed is of essence, but you’re also starving for each other. It feels like no contact is ever 100% enough.
Your hands keep firmly gripping the balcony and when he lowers his chest against your back you can’t hold back the involuntary gasp that leaves your throat and echoes through the empty house. One of his large hands holds your hips in place while he fucks you mercilessly, the other one covers your mouth hastily – his shaky voice betrays how badly this is affecting him too. “Shhh, love. You don't want anyone seeing you in that state. So fucking tight around me.”
He was sinking more deeply into you with each thrust now, and trying to keep your eyes open while his now awaken dominant side is doing that to you, exactly the way you want him to, is torture. You feel like you’re going to pass out from the all the sensorial and contextual stimulation. “You want me to come inside you, baby?” To which you keenly reply with a nod, not bothering to uncover your mouth. This was perfect.
He edged his hips back so he reaches your most sensitive spot and his grip on your mouth constricts when he notices how loud you want to be. “Feels like a dream inside you but keep. Quiet.” His voice lowers to a breathy whisper against your throat and the hands that were holding your hips in place now snaked to the front of your body to help you get off. And like that, you do, coming a second time, this orgasm even more intense than the last. The way your walls twitch around his dick is enough to push him over the edge too, and you feel him spilling inside you. You milk him of every drop, and after you both ride off your high, you feel a tender kiss that lasts for a while in your scalp, a silent “thank you” while he slips out of you.
You put your dress back on place, trying to compose yourself before you can look another human in the eye again. You have a positively overwhelmed, just-woke-up-from-an-incredible-dream look on your face. “You better not get me addicted to this kind of risky shit.”
He laughs while he also does his best to look like not one hair or piece of clothing ever went out of place. “Sorry, Y/N, I think I already did.”
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hallidaysfm · 4 years
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hllo  all  ,  it  me  ur  second  fav  admin  sage  comin  2  u  live  from  the  gutters  in  the  est  tz  .  i  got  a  sneak  peak  at  all  ur  characters  &  i  am  v  v  excited  to write with all of u  !!  i’m  lit  rally  the  worst  at  intros  so  i’m  just  gonna  dive  right  into  my  chaotic  boy,  kieran  !    a  rich  boi  freshly  kicked  out  of  yale,  doesn’t  rock  the  boat  shoes  or  the  chinos  or  rly  look  the  part  but…  his  daddy,  will  in  fact  sue  you  :/  
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[    matthew  noszka    .    22    .    cismale    .    he/him    ]  just  saw  KIERAN  HALLIDAY  dragging  their  suitcase  up  the  steps  of  QUINBY    .    good  luck  living  with  HIM    ,    word  around  campus  is  that  they’re  VOLATILE    ,    RECKLESS    ,    SOCIAL  &    SELF  DRIVEN    .    makes  sense  they  chose  that  house  now    ,    doesn’t  it    ?    let’s  hope  this  new  living  situation  doesn’t  affect  their  JUNIOR  year  of  ZOOLOGY      [    sage    .    23    .    she/her    .    est    ]
+  walking  a  thin  line  of  barbed  wire,  wicked  smirks  and  smashed  bottles  of  jack,  being  shirtless  under  leather  jackets  &  doing  class  presentations  with  a  black  eye  and  a  hangover.
pinterest  can  be  found  here
background:
his  full  name  is  kieran  jaxon  halliday  his  mom  and  dad  were  two  wildlife  biologists  who  met  while  working  in  south  africa  and  fell  in  love  while  tending  to  a  baby  lion  cub  that  had  gotten  a  nasty  bite  from  a  snake.
they  named  the  cub  jax  and  that’s  where  kieran  had  gotten  his  middle  name
his  parents  made  a  decent  living  with  their  careers  but  his  dad’s  side  of  the  family  -  the  halliday’s,  were  made  of  money  and  gold  baby!!
the  halliday’s  are  a  pretty  prominent  family.  they  own  a  law  firm  that’s  been  running  since  the  1950′s  and  is  dedicated  to  famous  politicians  and  celebrities
his  grandfather  expected  kieran’s  dad  to  take  over  the  firm  after  him  so  you  can  imagine  the  shock  when  his  son  had  chosen  zoology  as  a  major.
kieran  was  born  in  south  africa  -  and  lived  there  until  he  was  13
really  loved  everything  about  it  especially  the  wild  life,  the  nature  and  the  freedom.  when  they  would  visit  the  states  to  see  his  mom  and  dad’s  family  he  thought  it  was  too  congested  and  tamed  and  mundane
his  dad  picked  them  up  and  moved  them  back  to  the  states  when  he  found  out  that  kieran’s  mom  had  been  diagnosed  with  breast  cancer
it  was  like  a  domino  effect    -  first  the  breast  cancer  where  the  doctors  were  hopeful  that  with  enough  treatment  she’d  be  in  partial  remission  in  no  time-  that  was  until  it  started  to  spread  and  within  two  years  the  two  halliday’s  had  lost  the  most  important  woman  in  their  lives
while  it  impacted  both  of  them  -  it  seemed  that  it  really  hit  his  father  in  a  different  way.  he  basically  turned  his  back  on  kieran  and  turned  really  cold  and  decided  to  take  over  the  law  firm  and  threw  himself  into  work
this  changed  kieran  in  the  sense  that  he  had  to  adapt  to  living  in  the  states  seeking  out  different  thrills  to  make  him  feel,  to  make  him  numb,  to  make  his  world  exciting  again,  to  forget  and  to  piss  off  his  dad
he  instantly  became  a  trouble  maker  -  got  kicked  out  of  various  private  schools,  was  caught  drinking  in  school,  took  his  dad’s  cars  out  for  joy  rides,  has  had  various  dui’s  and  has  been  caught  high  as  balls  by  the  police  multiple  times  but  this  never  breaks  out  to  the  public  -  his  dad  sweeps  in  and  the  charges,  the  potential  scandals,  everything  all  vanish  overnight.
yale  was  his  top  choice  for  school  and  while  his  family’s  name  obviously  got  his  foot  in  the  door  and  he  coasted  through  his  classes  -  his  grades  were  above  average  and  honestly  if  he  truly  applied  himself  he  would  be  deadly
he  started  an  underground  fight  club  at  yale  during  his  freshman  year  which  he  made  quite  a  profit  off  of,  and  also  he’s  just  really  into  fighting  in  general  so  it  gave  him  a  place  to  do  it  without  having  to  pick  fights  with  random  frat  boys.
known  around  yale  as  the  american  god  for  the  kind  of  power  he  holds,  his  looks,  and  the  way  he  carries  himself.
his  mom  was  born  and  raised  in  monterey  before  moving  to  south  africa
while  they  spent  a  good  chunk  of  time  in  monterey  when  they  moved  back  to  the  states,  after  his  mom  died,  kieran  and  his  dad  moved  full  time  to  new  york  city  where  his  dad  took  over  the  halliday  law  firm.
their  monterey  home  is  right  by  the  water  with  their  own  private  beach  area.  basically  before  his  dad  moved  them  back,  he  had  his  mom’s  dream  home  built  for  her.  now,  his  dad  hardly  ever  comes  back  but  kieran’s  lowkey  a  sentimental  bastard  and  splits  him  time  during  the  summers  in  monterey  and  the  hamptons
end  of  sophomore  year  he  messed  with  the  wrong  guys  and  got  kicked  out,  they  ended  up  ratting  out  his  underground  fight  club  lmao  and  after  being  threatened  a  bunch  of  other  students  came  forward  and  confirmed  it.  so  that  mixed  with  all  the  other  shit  he’s  pulled  and  a  couple  other  lies  about  him  –  he  got  booted  out
his  dad  is  actually  so  pissed  at  him  and  embarrassed  bc  their  name  and  money  couldn’t  even  stop  that  shit  from  being  made  public  ?
like  halliday  son  kicked  out  of  yale  for  starting  underground  fight  club?  an  iconic  page 5 headline  but  unwanted  by  his  dad  100%
he’s  been  threatened  with  his  trust  fund,  he’s  been  blacklisted  from  all  other  ivy  leagues
the  only  reason  he  got  into  halston  is  because  his  mom  went  here  and  was  ..  v  well  loved.  catch  her  picture  hanging  over  in  the  zoology  building
his  uncle  (  his  mom’s  brother  )  is  also  on  the  board  of  admissions  so  once  again,  his  name  got  him  through  the  door!
personality:
very  into  anything  that’s  going  to  endanger  his  very  existence  -  picks  fights,  drinks  until  he  passes  out,  street  races,  jumps  off  cliffs  u  name  it..  kieran  has  done  it.  it’s  almost  a  miracle  the  boy  is  still  alive.  just  recklessly  lives  on  the  edge  and  will  willingly  take  the  fall
v  straight  forward  and  vulgar
will  fuck  you  over  with  a  polite  smile  on  his  face
his  favorite  animals  are  lions  :’)
usually  has  a  bruise  under  his  eye  but  the  wicked  grin  he  sports  probably  distracts  away  from  it  plus  he’s  a  pretty  boy
sports  a  leather  jacket  like  its  his  second  skin!!
is  down  for  anything  and  is  loyal  af  if  he  considers  you  a  friend
any  excuse  to  fight  -  he  will  fight  lmao
used  to  throw  the  biggest  and  wildest  parties  at  his  place.  will  trash  his  house  solely  to  piss  his  dad  off.  a  gatsby  man  of  sorts  where  people  just  showed  up  at  his  house.
not  humble  in  any  sense,  flirts  a  lot,  manipulates  occasionally  and  is  all  around  just  here  for  a  good  time,  not  a  long  time
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hallidavs · 4 years
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hllo all , it me ur second fav admin sage comin 2 u live from the gutters in the est tz. i’m lit rally the worst at intros so i’m just gonna dive right into my chaotic boy, kieran !  a rich boi freshly kicked out of yale, doesn’t rock the boat shoes or the chinos or rly look the part but… his daddy, will in fact sue you :/ anyways. pls is plotting is ur thing ! pls hit me up !
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[  matthew noszka.21.cismale.he/him  ] just saw KIERAN HALLIDAY dragging their suitcase up the steps of QUINBY  .  good luck living with HIM  ,  word around campus is that they’re VOLATILE  ,  RECKLESS  ,  SOCIAL &  LOYAL  .  makes sense they chose that house now  ,  doesn’t it  ?  let’s hope this new living situation doesn’t affect their JUNIOR year of ZOOLOGY   [  s  .  23  .  she/her  .  est  ]
+ WALKING A THIN LINE OF BARBED WIRE, WICKED SMIRKS AND SMASHED BOTTLES OF JACK, BEING SHIRTLESS UNDER LEATHER JACKETS & DOING CLASS PRESENTATIONS WITH A BLACK EYE AND A HANGOVER.
pinterest can be found HERE
BACKGROUND:
his full name is kieran jaxon halliday his mom and dad were two wildlife biologists who met while working in south africa and fell in love while tending to a baby lion cub that had gotten a nasty bite from a snake.
they named the cub jax and that’s where kieran had gotten his middle name
his parents made a decent living with their careers but his dad’s side of the family - the halliday’s, were made of money and gold baby!!
the halliday’s are a pretty prominent family. they own a law firm that’s been running since the 1950′s and is dedicated to famous politicians and celebrities
his grandfather expected kieran’s dad to take over the firm after him so you can imagine the shock when his son had chosen zoology as a major.
kieran was born in south africa - and lived there until he was 13
really loved everything about it especially the wild life, the nature and the freedom. when they would visit the states to see his mom and dad’s family he thought it was too congested and tamed and mundane
his dad picked them up and moved them back to the states when he found out that kieran’s mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer
it was like a domino effect  - first the breast cancer where the doctors were hopeful that with enough treatment she’d be in partial remission in no time- that was until it started to spread and within two years the two halliday’s had lost the most important woman in their lives
while it impacted both of them - it seemed that it really hit his father in a different way. he basically turned his back on kieran and turned really cold and decided to take over the law firm and threw himself into work
this changed kieran in the sense that he had to adapt to living in the states seeking out different thrills to make him feel, to make him numb, to make his world exciting again, to forget and to piss off his dad
he instantly became a trouble maker - got kicked out of various private schools, was caught drinking in school, took his dad’s cars out for joy rides, has had various dui’s and has been caught high as balls by the police multiple times but this never breaks out to the public - his dad sweeps in and the charges, the potential scandals, everything all vanish overnight.
yale was his top choice for school and while his family’s name obviously got his foot in the door and he coasted through his classes - his grades were above average and honestly if he truly applied himself he would be deadly
he started an underground fight club at yale during his freshman year which he made quite a profit off of, and also he’s just really into fighting in general so it gave him a place to do it without having to pick fights with random frat boys.
known around yale as the american god for the kind of power he holds, his looks, and the way he carries himself.
his mom was born and raised in monterey before moving to south africa
while they spent a good chunk of time in monterey when they moved back to the states, after his mom died, kieran and his dad moved full time to new york city where his dad took over the halliday law firm.
their monterey home is right by the water with their own private beach area. basically before his dad moved them back, he had his mom's dream home built for her. now, his dad hardly ever comes back but kieran's lowkey a sentimental bastard and splits him time during the summers in monterey and the hamptons
end of sophomore year he messed with the wrong guys and got kicked out, they ended up ratting out his underground fight club lmao and after being threatened a bunch of other students came forward and confirmed it. so that mixed with all the other shit he’s pulled and a couple other lies about him -- he got booted out
his dad is actually so pissed at him and embarrassed bc their name and money couldn’t even stop that shit from being made public ?
like halliday son kicked out of yale for starting underground fight club? an iconic headline but unwanted by his dad 100%
he’s been threatened with his trust fund, he’s been blacklisted from all other ivy leagues
the only reason he got into hollis is because his mom went here and was .. v well loved. catch her picture hanging over in the zoology building
his uncle on his mom’s side is also on the board of admissions so once again, his name got him through the door!
PERSONALITY:
very into anything that’s going to endanger his very existence - picks fights, drinks until he passes out, street races, jumps off cliffs u name it.. kieran has done it. it’s almost a miracle the boy is still alive. just recklessly lives on the edge and will willingly take the fall
v straight forward and vulgar
will fuck you over with a polite smile on his face
his favorite animals are lions :’)
usually has a bruise under his eye but the wicked grin he sports probably distracts away from it plus he’s a pretty boy
sports a leather jacket like its his second skin!!
is down for anything and is loyal af if he considers you a friend
any excuse to fight - he will fight lmao
used to throw the biggest and wildest parties at his place. will trash his house solely to piss his dad off. a gatsby man of sorts where people just showed up at his house.
not humble in any sense, flirts a lot, manipulates occasionally and is all around just here for a good time, not a long time
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surejo · 5 years
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( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot ) 
OK. a few notes before i get started:
1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.
ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)
QUICK FACTS:
full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac
date of birth: march 6, 1995
*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math
zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising
gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her
sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )
education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with
enneagram: 2w1
mbti: infp
various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers
BACKGROUND INFO:
triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning
( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )
jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.
it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.
that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?
t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn
anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!
but the keyword is ‘almost’!
alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version
just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.
jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’
ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.
a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her. 
there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”
as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.
did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes. 
began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”
still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.
THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!
TL;DR:
started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.
PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:
a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.
an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”
unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.
to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!
secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!
big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu
has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,
is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year
says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.
i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!
literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8. 
here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"
OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.
recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.
CONNECTION IDEAS:
close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)
childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco, 
on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world
good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic, 
~*confidant*~
roommate
exes –– ian,
reciprocated pining
unreciprocated pining
someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie, 
an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley
idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!
** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )
LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !
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corcordium1983 · 6 years
Text
I Couldn’t Be More In Love
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this started out as a blurb. it is no longer a blurb, I don’t think, considering it’s over 2000 words long. it just took on a life of its own, ok? anyway, it was inspired by the picture above, because it makes me sTRESSED. (this is unedited fyi bc I rly need sleep but also wanted to get it up tonight)
The first time you realised he was a clumsy idiot was when he spilled his drink on you at an after party. He’d been trying to manoeuvre you into his lap with one hand while simultaneously wielding a drink in the other. Thankfully it was a clear spirit, and nothing that would stain, but you were still less than thrilled about reeking of alcohol. He’d apologised profusely throughout the rest of the night, and in his drunken state had offered you his shirt to wear instead. You’d laughed it off and peppered him with kisses, assuring him it was all right. And it was, because he was there, and that was enough to make just about any situation better.
You should’ve expected it, should have seen it coming, based on the countless interviews and gifs that had been sent your way after the news of your involvement broke. Your favourite by far was the one of him tipping backwards on his chair at a panel – you still shoot him a warning smirk whenever you find him leaning too far back on a chair, and it never fails to make him blush.
To be honest, he’s not too clumsy normally. It’s only when he’s exhausted, overworked, or – as in the most prominent cases – drunk that he turns into a bumbling, uncoordinated fool. So you’ve learned his tells, and you’ve taken it upon yourself to keep a watchful eye on him when you feel like he (and his clothes, and other people’s clothes) are at risk. It would be such a shame to ruin a decadent Ackermann suit, after all.
The first time you pluck a champagne flute out of his hand as he leans in to hug some big-shot producer, he gives you a puzzled stare over the man’s shoulder. You offer him a shrug in return and take a sip of the champagne, before handing the flute back once he’s at a safe distance from the producer. He doesn’t question you about your move as you thought he would, but instead seems to let it slip from his mind as others come up to him to mingle. You can’t say you blame him – being Timothée Chalamet seems like a busy life to lead.
The second time it happens, your reflexes are only barely quick enough to avert the disaster. You’re at yet another party, a house party of sorts. You’re not quite sure who owns the place, but whoever it is, they must be loaded. Timmy had disappeared earlier in the night, slipping outside with an acquaintance of his, and returning approximately half an hour later with eyes that were suspiciously red-rimmed and the sharp scent of smoke clinging to his sweater. You’d rolled your eyes, but really, who were you to judge.
The accident, or what would have been an accident, takes place later that evening when he’s more than pleasantly buzzed on both alcohol and other substances. You’re hanging out in what looks to be a living room, and Timmy spots someone he recognises sat on one of the sofas. He bends down to hug the girl, not remembering the drink in his hand, and as if in slow-motion you see the glass tilting towards the expensive-looking dress the girl is wearing. You might have let out a small squeak of horror as you just about managed to snatch the glass out of your blustering boyfriend’s grip in time. He doesn’t even seem to realise that the glass is missing at first, too engrossed in the conversation. After a while, however, he looks down at his hand, then over to the nearby coffee table, and then he glances around with the most adorably confused expression you’ve ever seen. The confusion turns to a sense of realisation when his gaze lands on the drink in your hand, and when he makes grabby hands in your direction you’re not sure whether he means you or the drink, so you give him both.
The third time it happens he’s surprisingly not drunk, just very, very tired. He’s been caught in a carousel of press events across the globe for a month and a half, and now that he’s back in New York the jet lag seems to have finally hit him, badly. You suspect he’s been jet lagged the entire time, but that it’s only really caught up with him now that he has a few days off. It makes your heart ache, to see him so run down. You know he loves his job, and that he’s grateful of all the opportunities that have come his way these past few years, but you gently try to remind him every now and then that you don’t have to love every part of your job, and that no job is worth running yourself into the ground for. Still, the bags under his eyes appear to be here to stay, at least for a little while, and when you bring them up he just laughs and tells you they’re Gucci.
When you find him fumbling with his shoelaces just mere hours after arriving back home (honestly, judging by the state he’s in you’re surprised he even managed to get the correct shoe onto the correct foot), you try to tell him that dinner with his parents can wait. He’s got a few days before he has to leave again, and his parent’s aren’t going anywhere. You’ve got time. He however, in typical Timmy fashion, is stubborn as a goat.
“We’ve had this scheduled for ages, mom’s probably started cooking already,” he argues, and that’s the end of that. You purse your lips as he leans into you for support after getting out of the car at his parents’ place, but you don’t say anything. You trust him to know his own limits, and to act accordingly when he feels he’s met them.
Nicole and Marc are as warm and inviting as ever. The second you step through the doorway Nicole envelops Timmy in a hug. Marc pulls you in for a hug as well, telling you it’s nice to see you again (even though you’ve been over for dinner once every few weeks while Timmy’s been gone). Out of the corner of your eye you see Nicole running her hands over Timmy’s shoulders to smooth out the wrinkles, before her hands come to rest by his neck while she inspects him more closely. You make casual conversation with Marc while Nicole frets over the state Timmy’s in, worrying about the bags and dark circles underneath his eyes.
Timmy shoots you an impish smile before retorting with “They’re Gucci”. Nicole sighs and deems him a lost cause, and moves on to you instead, drawing you in into the same motherly hug you’ve come to expect from her every time you meet now. When you lean into her embrace, you take the opportunity the shield of her body offers to conspiratorially whisper “he nearly fell asleep on the way over here”. She leans back a little, keeps you at half an arm’s length and nods in understanding, before giving you a brief kiss on the cheek. The smile she offers you is one of sincere gratitude, although you’re not sure what you’ve done to deserve it. Behind you you can hear Timmy and his father quipping back and forth in rapid-fire French, and although your French is nowhere near as good as you’d like it to be you still manage to get the gist of the situation. His parents are worried about him. He works too much. He’s kept this insane schedule up for years now, and he needs a break. You can’t help but silently agree as you work your way towards the kitchen in search of a drink.
Disaster doesn’t strike until after dinner, when you’re all seated in the living room. Timmy had been lightly dozing off every few minutes throughout the meal, so once you’d settled onto your loveseat Marc had brought Timmy an espresso in the hopes that it would keep him awake for a few more hours. You warily eye the tiny cup that Timmy’s been sipping from where it’s perched on his leg, not trusting his grip on the cup in the slightest. And sure enough, mere moments later, before you have time to react, there is black coffee seeping into the denim of his trousers, which are thankfully black already.
Nicole and Marc share a look that appears to communicate a million different things all at once, and then there’s a flurry of activity as Marc springs up out of his armchair in the search of paper towels to clean up the mess. Nicole leans in and plants a kiss on Timmy’s forehead, asking us if we shouldn’t maybe stay the night so that he won’t have to sit through the cab ride home.
“There’s spare toothbrushes upstairs, and you should still have some clothes here that fit you.”
This time Timmy appears too exhausted to put up much of a fight, and that’s how you find yourselves crammed into the tiny single bed in his childhood bedroom. Not that you’re complaining, though, because he was out as soon as his head hit the pillow and you’re just thankful that he’s finally getting some sleep. You’re also very thankful for the big breakfast that awaits you the following morning.
After that failed attempt at evading disaster you have a few successful ones, and it seems like Timmy’s finally clocked on to what you’ve been doing all this time. He doesn’t get angry like you feared he might; instead, he gets teary-eyed. You attribute it to the lack of sleep due to awards season, as well as the drink that’s currently in your hand, but that was previously in his. He can’t stop touching you the rest of the night, which isn’t completely unheard of behaviour for him, but this time it seems like he needs constant reassurance that you’re real. In the cab on the way home he leans his head on your shoulder and laughs when you tousle his hair.
“I couldn’t be more in love right now,” he says. The scary part is, you think he really means it.
It’s two months later, and you’re on your third cup of coffee of the morning. You had a deadline an hour ago, and didn’t manage to get more than two hours of sleep last night. Since the deadline has now passed, and you managed to get your script sent off in time, that means that you could technically be sleeping right now. The only thing stopping you is that you’re conscious of your sleeping pattern, and don’t want to risk messing it up now that you’ve finally gotten it sorted to conform with normal people hours. You’ve therefore resigned yourself to a day of chugging coffee in an effort to stay awake until the evening.
Timmy’s got a rare two weeks off, something you both seem equally grateful for, so it’s not long until he pads softly into the kitchen on bare feet. You’ve still got all of your work spread out over the kitchen table, as you’d resigned yourself to working there so as not to keep him awake all night, and you’re now struggling with closing all the open tabs in your browser and moving all of the books and notepads. You spent so long working on the project that it’s difficult to accept that it’s done.
Timmy’s arms around your waist and his cold nose buried in the crook of your neck, as well as the scratchy stubble of his chin dragging against your sensitive skin, appears to bring you out of this work-induced fugue state. He mumbles a quiet “good morning”, his voice still low and raspy from sleep, as he peers into your almost empty coffee cup and silently crosses over to the coffee pot to refill your cup, and to make a cup for himself. You hum gratefully as he sets your steaming cup in front of you, and pulls out a frying pan and half the contents of the fridge in order to make you breakfast. You’ve missed this, quiet mornings (literally quiet, neither of you are very good on the talking-front until you’ve had your morning coffee and at least an hour to wake up properly) of domesticity, of just having him around.
You talk about your work over breakfast – scrambled eggs on toast along with a fruit platter. He’s read the earlier drafts of the project, but seems eager to read the finished product as well. You’re not meant to show it to anyone, but you already know you’ll cave, so you set about drawing it up on your laptop. You don’t even see it happening, but before your brain even registers what’s going on, there’s a lithe hand grabbing your coffee cup and moving it far out of the way. With a slight twinge of panic, you realise that it had been about to topple onto your laptop, and would surely have ruined your precious device. You expect to be met with a grave look when you peer over at Timmy, but the look on his face is a pleased one. Maybe even bordering on smug.
“Finally I got my turn to save your ass,” and now you really want to wipe that smug grin off his face. Instead you just groan, too tired to think, and let your head rest on your folded arms on top of the table.
“C’mon, let’s just go back to bed. If you don’t want to ruin your sleep schedule, I promise I’ll wake you up in two or three hours.
You think it over for a second.
“Fine, but only if you promise to bring me a second breakfast in bed later.”
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incyas · 6 years
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ya girl moose is back at it w another child !! if u want to plot with this angel feel free to HMU and or just LIKE THIS and i’ll come to you !!
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[ jameela jamil, cisfemale, she/her, 30 ] REAPER by SIA? whenever i hear that song, it reminds me of INAYA KAUR. maybe because they’re BENEVOLENT but also LOQUACIOUS. they’ve been living at mulberry apartments since DECEMBER of 2015 in 311 and have 1 ROOMMATE.
tw: suicide attempt & abortion !!
ok i just want to start by sayin that this bih is like........a mixture of an old character i’ve had for years and this new concept for a character i want to bring in so she’s like.....a mash up of ideas i guesS so ............i’m still figuring her out a lil but here we gO
starting w her background
she’s a first generation american born in manhattan. her mum is from pakistan & her dad is from india & they both attended columbia where they met and fell in love awww how cute we luv some heteros. her mum was studying accounting and her father architecture. they married right after graduation and found a place in manhattan to start their family
they had a lot of trouble getting pregnant but eventually they were blessed with a set of beautiful twins !!! dimah was born and then seven minutes later, inaya came too.
although the twins always got along v well, inaya kind of felt like the black sheep. she was never as smart as her sister. she was never as popular as her sister. she tried so hard to be liked and even though her & dimah were best friends, people always seemed to like inaya less.
because they were twins, they were being compared constantly. it was always “why cant you be like dimah? dimah does this dimah does that. dimah has good friends” blah blah blah. it was frustrating bc inaya tried so hard and.........she got nothing
it went on like this and eventually inaya got used to it and just....did her own thing. she figured she would never be as good as her sister so there was no use in trying to make her parents proud so she just stopped trying and tried to do what made her happy. it didn’t really work. in fact, it only made things worse. 
she felt defeated. like nothing she could do would ever be good enough for them. she had friends that loved and supported her but her the disappointment from her parents’ weighed heavily on her heart and her self esteem. 
suicide attempt tw !! she was only sixteen years old when she attempted to end her own life. she was found by her best friend who rushed her to the hospital where her life was saved.
after that her parents kind of realized how their words and actions affected her. (a little too late but still) and things started to get better. they were angry with her at first but hearing her explain how she felt and how they made her feel things started to click into place. she was a good kid, really. she never did anything wrong. she hung out with some questionable people but her parents started to recognize that she was just doing her best.
things were pretty ok for the next few years. not good, but ok. 
and then, when she was nineteen, she noticed her period was late. it was VERY late. she took an at-home pregnancy test and it came out positive and she was absolutely TERRIFIED. her parents eventually found the test and absolutely lost their minds. they were okay with her hanging out with shady people and not getting perfect grades but the unwanted pregnancy was the final straw, it seemed. 
and just like that, she was kicked out of her own house with no where to live. she ended up moving in with her best friend while she worked odd jobs to save up some money. 
abortion tw !! with no money and no help to raise a child that she didn’t exactly want, inaya ended up getting her pregnancy terminated. it was the hardest decision she’d ever had to make and the choice still weighs heavy on her soul though she doesn’t regret it. 
she & her best friend moved to baltimore for a nice change of scenery when inaya was in her mid 20s, finding a decent apartment for a pretty good price. they stayed there for a few years before eventually moving again to mulberry a few years ago!!!!
now she lives in mulberry with her best friend as her roommmate !!! she works as a freelance makeup artist while also being a beauty guru on youtube. though her job is somewhat unconventional, it makes her really happy and she feels very successful by doing what she loves and making pretty decent money for it. she hopes to start her own makeup brand pretty soon that is.....her ultimate dream
ok that got longer than i wanted but here is more abt her personality
she is......an absolute angel. the sweetest woman u may ever meet
the opinion’s of others are very important to her so she is always working double time to impress people even tho.......it ultimately just makes her unhappy
she’s way better off since she’s sort of lost contact with her parents but she still.......has that uncontrollable urge to please people no matter what
puts everyone else before herself
she’s very sensitive and very emotional. she takes almost everything super personally
just wants people to like her
100000000% the mom friend. will always be texting u to make sure you’ve eaten and whatnot. will over to make u dinner if u havent. makes sure ur drinking water if you’re drinking alcohol and will wake up at 3am to drive you home if she has to
just wants everyone to be safe and happy
wears her heart on her sleeve but doesnt want people to see her sad
she puts her entire heart and soul into everything she does
doesn’t stop talking tbh. she just.......doesn’t know how to shut up rly
just wants ppl to like her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
some extra tidbits !!
loves to bake
LOVES doing her friend’s makeup and honestly.......will give u a little makeover for free just because
halloween is her absolute fave holiday the bitch goes WILD her costumes are always over the top
loves horror movies
puts a lot of effort into her appearance. always wearing something flattering w her hair and makeup done
tall af but always wearing heels anyway bc she is............powerful
wanted to be a ballet dancer but she was told she was too tall so she quit
loves wine
falls in love 12 times a day tbh
my bi queen
she has a pet bunny named clover
i probably am missing quite a bit but.........come plot w me anyway :’)
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tcm--holland · 7 years
Text
project // peter parker
request from @emarvil: Hi!! I love your writing! Could you please do a fix where tom is your brothers best friend and like you only see him when he comes over to hang out with your brother and he's in the grade above you at school but like it turns into something rly cute??? Not sure I made sense... anyways can you also add me to the tag list for threat bc that shit is GOLD
word count: 1.6k
a/n: tysm for the request! this was adorable hjasghkjsf and i’m so glad you loved threat!!! lol enjoy this little unedited fic <3333
masterlist
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Dinner is always the most boring part of your day. Your parents have a conversation about work, and then they ask how your and your brother’s day went. You’ve tried to escape upstairs with your plate of food numerous times, but your mother always makes you come down and sit at the table. It’s precious family time, she’ll say. It’s a bonding experience. Yeah, right. There’s just so much bonding going on at this silent table.
Your brother speaks up as you’re shoving a spoonful of mashed potatoes into your mouth. “Mom, is it cool if Peter comes over tomorrow? We have to do a project.” Upon hearing this, you choke a little. Everyone turns to look at you.
“Sorry,” you mutter, gulping down some water. Peter hasn’t been over in nearly a month, and you hardly see him at school. You’re a freshman and he’s a sophomore, and you’re pretty sure he doesn’t think twice about you.
You vividly remember the first time you saw Peter. It was your first day of high school, and you were wandering around campus trying to find where the hell E312 was. You were already nervous enough as it was, and suddenly you were frozen in an empty hallway, paralyzed by fear. You were going to be late to class if you didn’t figure out where you were supposed to go soon. You could feel the hopeless tears starting to well up in your eyes when you heard someone call out to you. You turned around, and there he was.
Standing there with tousled golden brown hair and bright eyes was Peter Parker. He was in a Star Wars t-shirt and jeans, but you’d never seen anyone pull it off so well. He asked if you were lost, and you nearly said that you were lost in his eyes. He told you exactly where to go, and smiled at you before he walked away. Granted, you were still late to your class (turns out it was on the opposite end of campus), but didn’t even care anymore.
And then he befriended your brother in World History, and he came over for the first time. You had come into your brother’s room wearing your embarrassing middle school gym shorts and a hoodie to ask him for math help. And he was just sitting on the floor, looking down at some homework. Immediately, you turned around and left before he could see you, cheeks flaming. Ever since then, you looked forward to the days that he came over. You’d constantly make excuses for passing by your brother’s room, walking back and forth. Peter would smile at you each time, and you always returned it sheepishly.
It’s been forever since he’s been over, and now you can...keep walking past your brother’s room obsessively. You know it’s pathetic, but you can’t help yourself. It’s like you forget your own name each time you see him, and when he talks to you, you remember again.
“Which Peter is that, again?” Your dad asks as he spoons more rice onto his plate.
“Dad, there’s only one Peter.” Your brother sighs.
“Really? Hm. I must be thinking of Paul, then.”
“Only one of those, too…” He mumbles. You quickly finish your dinner and excuse yourself to your room. You hop around in excitement for a few seconds, and then realize you need a cool outfit to come home in.
You go through different outfits? A dress? No, that’s too out of the ordinary for you. Maybe a skirt...ugh, no, it doesn’t look good on you anymore. In the end, you settle for a something simple: black shorts and a tank top. The tank top is Spider-Man themed, custom made in your art class. You’re very proud of it. And to go on top, your royal blue school sweater.
You turn back to the rest of your room to find it a mess. Clothes and shoes are strewn everywhere. Obviously, it all has to look clean for the three seconds that Peter will spend passing by your room to get to your brother’s. Groaning, you begin to clean up.
That night, you go to bed with a smile. You can hardly sleep, you’re so excited. But the next day goes by surprisingly quickly, and you nearly forget about Peter. You’re busy at lunch finishing your English homework early, and your classes are filled with work. So by the time you bike home, you pleasantly recall that Peter’s coming over. You rush up to your room to make sure your room looks okay, and then finish up the homework you didn’t get done at school already.
By the time you hear the front door unlock, you have absolutely nothing to do. You hear the conversation drifting from downstairs.
“Dude, it’s been forever since we last hung out. How did you get so busy?”
“Well, you know, with the Stark internship and everything...it’s been pretty crazy.” Peter chuckles a little.
“Right, forgot about that. How’s your aunt doing?”
“She’s good. We’re good. Last year was really tough on her, but...yeah.”
You hear footsteps come up the stairs and quickly pick up the book beside you, pretending to read. You glance up over the top of your book to see Peter and your brother, heading to his room with Cokes in hand.
“Hey, Y/N,” Peter greets. You smile back, not trusting yourself to say anything. He pauses, eyebrows furrowing together slightly as he looks at you. “Are you reading that upside down?”
Your eyes widen slightly when you see that the text is, indeed, upside down. “U-Uh…” You quickly try to think of an excuse. “Normal books are getting too boring for me. So, to keep up my reading comprehension, I’m trying it out.” You mentally facepalm at this. Is that the best you could think of.
Peter gives you an amused smile. “Right,” he says, but before you can say anything else, he’s gone. You spent the next few minutes wallowing in embarrassment before getting up to go get a drink.
You return with a mug of white tea, prepared to walk past your brother’s room. As you do, you see Peter mutter something to your brother. He considers it for a second and then looks at you. You stop as your brother starts talking. “Did you do all your homework?”
“Uh...yeah...why?” You take a sip, glancing at Peter. He’s chewing on the back of his pencil as he watches. Why is it so cute when he does that?
“Peter thinks you could help us out if you have nothing else to do. Who knows, maybe you could learn a thing or two before you take this class next year.” He shrugs, expecting you to say no.
“Yeah, sure!” You say, almost too excited. Your brother gives you a suspicious look. “I mean, I’m a sucker for history.” You really are, you find it fascinating. You step inside and slide off your shoes to get to work.
You find yourself sneaking glances at Peter at every possible opportunity. But just as he turns his attention to you, you look away, rubbing the back of your neck. You tie your hair in a ponytail before you sketch out the lettering for the title. Peter watches in interest.
“You’re good at that,” he says, and you look up to meet his eyes. A shy blush coats your cheeks.
“I’m taking art,” you explain with a nonchalant shrug. Inside, you’re screaming because he complimented you. You stay silent as you work, listening to Peter and your brother lightly chat. You slide off your sweater as sunlight begins to stream into the room.
“Y-You like Spider-Man?” Peter purses his lips to hide a smile. You’re confused for a second before you glance down at your tank top.
“Oh. Yeah, he’s pretty cool.” Your brother snorts at this.
“Y/N’s obsessed with him. She came home one day after school and she wouldn’t stop talking about how she saw Spider-Man save an old lady or something. And ever since then, she’s been crazy about it. I don’t get it.” You shoot him a glare.
“I’m not crazy. I just…”
“Have an appreciation for a neighborhood superhero that just wants to do good?” Peter says, a hopeful look on his face.
“Exactly!” You exclaim, grinning.
“Hey, Pete, don’t you, like, know Spider-Man? Maybe you could hook something up with my sister here.” Your eyes widen at this, and you open your mouth to speak.
Peter beats you to it. “Okay, first of all, I met him. Once. I wouldn’t know where to find him even if I wanted to.” Your face drops slightly at this. He sees this and adds quickly, “But...I mean, I’ll see what I can do.”
The smile quickly returns to your face at this. “That’s amazing, thank you! You’re the best!” You feel the urge to throw your arms around him, but you resist since your brother’s here.
A while later, you’re making finishing touches. The project looks pretty amazing, thanks to your skills. Your brother leaves to recycle the soda cans and bring up new ones, leaving you and Peter alone. You’re leaned over the project, wisps of hair escaping the ponytail. You finally sit up and glance at Peter, who’s been looking at you. You offer a small smile, and he gives you one back. Your heart hammers in your chest as he reaches over and tucks a piece of hair behind your ear.
When you breath out, it comes out a bit shaky. You finish off your tea to try and calm down, and when you look up, his eyes are still on you. You swallow and find yourself leaning into him. Your faces are just a few inches apart and your hand is on his knee. You hear footsteps start coming up the stairs and you jump away from him. Both of you are grinning widely by the time your brother comes back in. He sees you two and frowns slightly.
“Did I miss something?”
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tag list:
@thelifeofanengineeringstudent @deans-angel-of-thursdays @half-superhero @baka-chanismyname @lilacyra @chelykat451-blog @webheadparkr @hailey-a-s @bonza-bear @beforethebraces @ketterdame @emarvil @mirageofthedesert @tonight-couldbeforgettable @kat-rivalle
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its2019lol · 7 years
Text
Kingsman: The Golden Circle (Review)
I felt the need to write this because I have a lot to say about it.
Needless to say........SPOILERS AHEAD AND DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE FILM AND DON’T WANNA BE SPOILED!
Okay so this isn't gonna be in any proper format, so there's that.
I had been waiting for this movie for a while and I'm truly indifferent of whether of not it lived up to my expectations.
The first sequence with Eggsy and Charlie fighting was so rushed and really random to me. I think it was just used as a sequence to possibly wake the audience up lol
Merlin’s character development and extra screen time was so rewarding.
Tilde is a cute and good gf protect her tbh. Her smoking the joint while refusing to text Eggsy back was the most relatable content in this movie.
Although this movie had its flaws, I will give it this. THE COMEDY WAS GOLD. So many endless clever sequences such as the bit where Eggsy has dinner with Tilde's parents and the bits with Elton John. I laughed so hard at some points that my sides were hurting.
This film confirmed all my headcannons about dating Eggsy and I'm gonna be forever in my feelings about it.
I like that even though Eggsy's status has changed and even though now he is a bonafide spy, he never lost sight of what's truly important and stayed close to his original friends. The scene where he's having a drink and hanging out with Tilde and his friends was so cute :(
BUT THE FUCKERY THAT FOLLOWED HOLY SHIT
They brought the new friend in for like 0.005 seconds just to kill him AND JB. The first of many heartbreaks this film gave me.
ROXY'S DEATH WAS THE MOST UNNECESSARY THING ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH
At least the last thing Eggsy said to her was call her his best friend </3
Eggsy and Merlin getting drunk off the whiskey in the safe and it took them until they reached the end of the bottle to realize what it said: big mood.
And they went to America LOL
I’m sorry but Channing Tatum and Jeff Bridges’ characters were......irrelevant. However, I still enjoyed them and Tequila’s first meeting with Eggsy and Merlin was HILARIOUS. 
Now.......Poppy..... See.....
I liked how ruthlessly insane they made her, but I disliked how easily they were able to kill her. Valentine was such a braw to the death and then with this.......Eggsy just stabbed her in the neck and she died......if anything, Charlie was more of a strong villain in the movie than Poppy was. I guess they used the trope of a villain who has all their henchmen do shit for them, but I just thought the way she was killed off was way too easy. 
BUT OMG I love the aesthetics of all of Poppy Land tbh
Speaking of Poppy and Poppy Land, gotta love them unnecessary cannibalism like......??? Thanks we get it shock value 
The gadgets of the statesman were bomb af I was proud of that
GINGER ALE AND WHISKEY OK 
I love them both
Ginger Ale was so intelligent and an amazing character over all 
IM SO HAPPY SHE’S A FIELD AGENT NOW
I hope they add more amazing statesman like her in the future, especially woc
#JUSTICEFORWHISKEY because the whole part about him being a double agent and turning against them was bullshit
You’re gonna kill off the only brown man in the movie and demonize him in the process?? Sorry that just doesn’t sit well with me.  
It’s not like he didn’t have a reason to do what he did?????
His high school sweetheart got caught in the cross fire between meth heads at a ....I think he said ...convenience store?? But regardless, experiencing that would definitely scar him and make him have a different attitudes about drug users so....? wtf
I did truly enjoy Harry’s storyline in this, it surprised me. I like the whole element that the statesmen can bring people back to life from a head shot, like FUCK IT UP
Harry’s butterfly spacing out moments was hilarious 
EGGSY HELPING HIM REGAIN HIS MEMORY WITH MR. PICKLES WAS SO SMART ILY EGG
The blue vein thing freaked me out and every i see a vein pop up on my skin I’m gonna be paranoid now thanks 
Action sequences/car chases bore me in general so tbh I didn’t pay attention to those.......sorry.......
and last..........but CERTAINLY not least....
MERLIN.
WHAT THE FUCK. 
HOW DID THEY FUCKING KILL OF MERLIN 
I legit sobbed for 15-20 minutes in the theater after it happened
I’m not joking
My friend can testify to this
And the way he died was so emotional, how he sacrificed himself for eggsy and harry :(
I’m rly pissed about this bc the three ppl that were killed in this movie were a woman, a brown man and the only canonically gay character in this franchise. 
UMMMMM?? NO.
But on a lighter note, Eggsy’s wedding with Tilde was sweet and I’m glad her and his other friend were able to be saved. 
He’s legit a prince now and he’s also a spy. Goddamn. 
In conclusion, I did enjoy the film overall, I just feel like too many things were done for shock value and it made the plot lack. But again, this is just my opinion so!
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arcturuz · 7 years
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this formatting is wack
questionnaire stuff, don’t mind me
You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? 
You uh want a fag grant?
What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?
Marriage?????
If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?
Only if they DIDNT SHARE
Is your last name longer than six letters?
no. and I had to count on my fingers.
Was your last kiss drunk or sober?
I was probably stoned so...
Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?
What does your last received text say?
From argos saying my order has been processed
How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?
Millions!
Where was your last kiss at?
Bed?
When is the last time you saw your sister?
Saw my step sister at the fam's bbq
What do you drink in the morning?
Coffee
Where did you sleep last night?
In bed in our flat
Do you think relationships are hard?
Sometimes but it all works out!
If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?
I want to change stuff I did in the last hour but in the end you can't think about stuff like that or you'll go mental :)
You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?
Sexual exhaustion
Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?
Sunny D:
Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?
no
Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?
Mercy's pink frilly silk pants. No really.
Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?
Yes D:
Does anyone like you?
Mercy is stuck with me for life so lets hope she likes me
Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?
SADIE AKA mercy aka minkles
Is the last person you kissed gay?
We just don't know!
Is there a person you CANNOT stand?
several
Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?
Too late
In the past week have you cried?
nah
What breed was the last dog you saw? 
Umm I saw a lot of dogs today. Maybe a pug?
Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?
Out of the shower you heathens
Have you ever kissed a football player?
No?
Do you think you’re old?
nahhhh
Do you like text messaging?
Better than speaking on the phone but it gets annoying if you have a lot to say
What type of day are you having?
An ok day!
Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?
Yeah but i'm not sure a septum piercing would look silly with my small beak nose
Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
warm
Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
mercy and sammykins <3
Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?
I like being married!
Are you a simple or complicated person?
P complicated I guess
What song are you listening to?
Mercy is watching master chef
When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?
yeah 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?
Yup my best girl mercy 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?
She was the coolest and most interesting person I knew in school. She was also rly cute aah 41. When did you last receive a text message?
Sometime today from argos (u may recall) 42. What is wrong with you right now?
I have a lot of worries that aren't really worries 43. How well do you know the last female you texted?
My mum so p well! 44. Does anyone disgust you?
Lots of people's behaviour 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?
Married (TM) 46. Are you in a good mood right now?
Yeah I think so! 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?
The ol' ball n chain
48. What color shirt are you wearing?
black 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?
My friend's mum passed away? 50. Anyone you’re giving up on?
Giving up is for quitters 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?
No way <3
Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?
Yeah 53. Do you like rain?
Yeah but I get miserable if i'm out in it   54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?
nope 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?
No one that didn't find out I guess!   56. Do you like to cuddle?
yes 57. Are you shy?
I try not to be bc I hate feeling awkward   58. Do you get along with girls?
yup 59. Have you dated the person you texted last?
nope   60. What do you carry with you at all times?
Phone maybe?   61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? Yeah!!   62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?
No apart from being married now, I never had long relationships   63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?
yeah   64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?
Yes do it again pls 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?
The rescue kitten we're looking after is always doing cute things
How old are the last three people you kissed?
I can't remember kissing anyone else before “the officialness of the relationship”
Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?    
I bite them off for free 68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    
They're both...not great 69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    
A few terrible ones 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    
Who is luke bryan 71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    
android 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    
Too long ago :'( 73. Do you like diet soda?    
yeah 74. What color are the walls in your room?    
Black n gold B) 75. Are you 16 or older?    
older 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    
no 77. Do you have a job?    
yeah    78. What are your initials?    
JJ 79. Did you ever have braces?    
Yeah they were rad 80. Are you from the south?    
Up north
What does your last status on facebook say?    
I posted pictures of the “””family outing””” 82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    
nah 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    
My mum 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    
no 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    
Oh um...san andreas 86. Do you smoke?    
yeah 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    
Flip flops, heels are hard to walk in from the little experience I have 88. Is your phone touch screen?    
yes 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    
It does what it wants 90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    
No actually 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    
Pool, I don't trust myself not to catch dysentry from the others 92. Have you ever made out in a car?    
yeee 93. …Had sex in a car?    
….hey wait no. 94. Are you single or in a relationship?    
relationship 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    
Faffing around on steam I think 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    
Bonfire night 97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    
Ye its very fancy 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    
Yeah, never really worked for them not me 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    
Only when i'm in bed and can't stay awake anymore 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?    
Ughhhhh 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    
pfff 102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    
“name any kesha song”
103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    
Not really 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    
Fuck yeah why not @winsister91 u know u want in on this bad boy
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kangdan101 · 7 years
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questions tag :)
tagged by @hwangminyeo :’) lmao im sorry my life is so uninteresting but it was fun to answer these still heh
THE LAST
·        drink: water! Recently I’ve been trying to drink more water bc I am extremely dehydrated; i tend to drink like 1 cup a day (lol) stay hydrated kids
·         phone call: this morning!
·         text message: like one min ago I was just arguing with my friend whether or not our math teachers first name is jose or not (update: I was right, it IS jose xD)
·         song you listened to: ENERGETIC BY WANNA ONE!!11
·         time you cried: maybe like 15 min ago…????? Lmfao I was watching wanna one sing always and I got emotional (i cry about everything)
·         HAVE YOU EVER
·         dated someone twice: it’s hard to date someone twice if you’ve never dated someone at all lol (motae solo like minhyun)
·         kissed someone and regretted it: no
·         been cheated on: no
·         lost someone special: yes :’(
·         been depressed: yes. This last year was really really hard for me. Balancing dance and school and everything made me super stressed and I started to pull myself away from ppl :/ tbh produce kinda got me out of it lol and im 100% ok now
·         gotten drunk and thrown up: nope (lol bc I’ve never drank before hahaha theres so many things I haven’t done)
·         3 FAVORITE COLORS
·         Baby blue
·         Mint green
·         Peach pink ;)
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU
·         made new friends: yes
·         fallen out of love: no 
·         laughed until you cried: literally I laugh way too much for my own good
·         found out someone was talking about you: I don’t think so :o
·         met someone who changed you: yes, many of them! (esp kangdan tho)
·         found out who your friends are: yes :)
·         kissed someone on your Facebook list: yikes no
GENERAL
·         how many Facebook friends do you know in real life: mostly all my fb friends go to my school but I don’t actually know some of them? So I’d say like 70%
·         do you have any pets: I’d like to think my little brother Anthony is secretly a dog bc he resembles one and can get hella wild sometimes lmao
·         do you want to change your name: my name is legit the most basic Chinese name ever I know like 3 other people with the exact same first and last name and alskdjgowaei;lskdfj it gets on my nerves sometimes I always liked the name lilia / lily but in 7th grade I met this girl whose name was Philomena and its now my favorite name ever
·         what did you do for your last birthday: lmao I studied bc I had a hUge test the next day and your girl’s serious about her grades man
·         what time did you wake up: LMAO I woke up twice this morning: first time at 4:40 to catch WANNA ONE DEBUT and then went back to sleep @ 6 am; woke up again at 7:30 am for class
·         what were you doing at midnight last night: I was on tumblr watching everyone hype about wanna one it was gr8
·         name something you can’t wait for: finishing junior year + SAT shit :/ lol my junior year hasn’t even started yet but im so nervous I hope I don’t screw up and thinking about it is making my heart beat faster yikes (wish me luck guys hopefully im still alive by june)  
·         when was the last time you saw your mom: a few min ago~
·         what are you listening to right now: my little brother Anthony is singing shape of you and its not pretty lol (he’s eleven)
·         have you ever talked to a person named tom: I don’t really remember
·         something that is getting on your nerves: the SAT omygod I just really want it to be over and im SO NERVOUS also anthony’s singing is starting to bug me (he changed songs and now he’s singing gibberish and it’s very distracting)
·         most visited website: probably youtube/fb/tumblr
·         hair color: blackish-brown. my roots are black but the ends seem to be browning a lil? Probably since it’s summer now and the sun is working its magic 
·         long or short hair: medium length! Like halfway down my back???
·         do you have a crush on someone: nope & haven’t had one for like two years
·         what do you like about yourself: my monolids? But my mom wants me to get surgery lmfao also i like that i have a naturally high foot arch bc its helpful for dance :)))
·         blood type: a… I think?
·         nickname: name: sarah; nicknames: sawa, sala, salad, swisso (I promise this makes sense in context), moon, moonmoon (these make sense in context too lol)
·         relationship status: single mom of my 98 produce children and always have been lollll
·         zodiac: capricorn
·         pronouns: she/her
·         favorite tv show: descendants of the sun, suspicious partner, I hear your voice, once upon a time, produce aka a horrible show that hurts u in all sorts of ways (pls rec me some bc I wanna binge some tv shows before school starts)
·         tattoos: none atm but maybe when I’m older I want a tiny star, or a tiny moon, or maybe my Chinese name?
·         right or left handed: Right
·         surgery: I got eye surgery done when I was rly young bc the gland between my eyes and nose was blocked which basically made me cry ALL THE TIME (like even when I’d be staring at nothing)
·         sport: I dance! And I used to do rhythmic gymnastics but I had to quit bc school was getting too busy I miss rhythmic gymnastics so much u have no idea
·         vacation: I think I’m going to go out touring colleges along the east coast near the end of august!!!
·         pair of shoes: I wear my converse a lot as well as my nike free runs. But other than that my shoe collection is p limited rippp
·         MORE GENERAL
·         eating: just finished dinner
·         drinking: nothing atm xD gdi in the beginning of this tag I wanted to be more hydrated and look where I am now lmao
·         I’m about to: wash the dishes that we used for dinner
·         waiting for: the day I graduate high school so I can go to college and take classes I love and alskdgjaowlfkdsfj (lmao im such a nerd im sorry)
·         want: to eat some ice cream (I love ice cream)
·         get married: that would be a miracle tbh
·         career: high school student / summer school teachers assistant  THE KIDS I TEACH ARE SO LOUD AND WILD theyre legit animals everytime I step into the classroom i can’t believe these 8th graders are capable of such chaos
WHICH IS BETTER
·         hugs or kisses: I luv hugs and I luv kisses
·         lips or eyes: both???
·         shorter or taller: taller (its not hard to be taller than me lol)
·         older or younger: older
·         nice arms or nice stomach: I think…. Arms 
·         hook up or relationship: relationshiip
·         troublemaker or hesitant: jesus idk I’ve never dated so I really wouldn’t know alskdjgoalkdsfj (but i mean troublemaker is a gr8 song??)
HAVE YOU EVER
·         kissed a stranger: no that sounds scary :0
·         drank hard liquor: no
·         lost glasses/contact lenses: I LOsT MY GLAssES IN FLORIDA ONCE agldkgjaosdfkj I swear I put it down on the airport seat and when I turned around THEY WERE GONE I spend a good 2 hours looking for them but they legit disappeared :/ to this day I am still wondering where that pair of glasses went
·         turned someone down: yes
·         sex on the first date: no 
·         broken someone’s heart: i sure hope not 
·         had your heart broken: no
·         been arrested: no
·         cried when someone died: so many times
·         fallen for a friend: lowkey yes but they still don’t know about that
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
·         yourself: I try to
·         miracles: yes or else what will happen to me in the future I need miracles to carry me bc my luck is trASH
·         love at first sight: no
·  ��      santa clause: maybe for the first few years but then I caught my parents
·         kiss on the first date: no
·         angels: idk actually… I guess?
OTHER
·         eye color: brown; I feel like my eyes have been getting lighter over the years bc the outside of my iris is like brown but near the pupil its more of a hazel
·         favorite movie: I have so many omg I luv spirited away, howls moving castle, the book thief, and I recently watched wonder woman (pls rec some movies too im always in the mood for one :D) 
im tagging anyone who wishes to do this! 
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impyeseul · 7 years
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( loOK AT THIS CUTE LIL SQUISH IM CRYIGN !! )
hI BABIES !! i hope you’re having/had a good day bc my impatient and hyped ass has been dying to plot with you all since i sent my acct in bc this rp is ? already so cool ?? anyways i’m kat, 19 yo mess™ from canada, the nt specifically aka the geniuses behind the only :30 tz on the planet tyvm. i’m a SUFFERING uni student, i’m bts, sci-fi and alt rock trash, letterkenny s3 has become my life now and when my social life isn’t dormant like it is rn, you can usually find me at the campus bar having a wild time with a couple of my ra’s lol. i have a small plots page set up HERE that you can check out — i kinda gave up on the creative thing i had going with them by the fourth one and still have a few to add ( bc it’s dinner time rn and i’m famished ) as you can see hgjkfs — and feel free to im me for my discord acct !! now, on to my content, quixotic bab seulie who rly.. doesn’t know what she’s doing with herself despite finally getting her life on track overall, but she’s trying:
— earlier, i could’ve sworn i saw PARK CHAEYOUNG (ROSÉ) on campus, but it’s just SONG YESEUL. i heard they were sorted as a GLEAM and they’re only TWENTY years old majoring in FASHION MARKETING here at imperium, which isn’t surprising considering their ability is ADOPTIVE MUSCLE MEMORY. people call her the PEACH because she is supposedly EBULLIENT, but also COMPULSIVE but who knows if that’s true, it’s their ability that matters. ( kat. 19. nt. she/her. none. )
so lil song yeseul was born in changwon to a korean-canadian father and her mother who had both moved from daegu abt two years prior ??
has a younger brother by abt two years and ig you could say they were middle class
so most of her family bg is still up in the air for me but
her parents were always v big on education, wanting the best for their kids and to be cared for in their old age, so seulie and her brother were diligent in their studies as kids
however, she slipped away little by little and became a more lax student, hiding under the guise of working endlessly in her room when she was really just reading the new tw****** book ( yeah, i rly just censored that series lmao )
her grades were still good, she just didn’t get as into it and overwhelmed by it as before
without a doubt lost her shit when she learned that she had powers
i mean she prob learned she had them when she was fourteen and saw a huge fist fight between some kids at school.. before going home and accidentally punching her little brother in the face
“ what.. the fuck ? oh my god oh my gOD HOW DO I KNOW HOW TO THROW A PUNCH LIKE THAT ? HOW DO I KNOW HOW TO DO A ROUND OFF BACK HANDSPRING DOUBLE PIKE ?! ”
is good at sports and dance mostly bc of her power.. but she’s also a walking safety hazard bc she’s clumsy af, so she steers clear of most sports for everyone’s sake
like cute guy or girl in the stands ? she’s taking the field hockey forward down with her when she trips on air and prob fucks them up bc they cushioned her fall
yeah i rly.. made a girl equipped with muscle memory a klutz, rip
anyways her parents weren’t too peeved by this surprisingly ( at least her dad wasn’t lol ) as long as she didn’t nearly break her brother’s nose again jgfksd
ngl it was smooth sailing for the most part, unless you caught her off-guard with your presence or something, then she was a state with her movements 
prob took up a job at some local fast food place like every other teen to save for uni
so fast forward and she graduated !!! she thought she’d do medical science and had no real worries about changing her mind
got into imperium and was set on medicine.. until she finally began attending uni, about a month in and she was fucking clueless
on top of that, she had to adjust to so much concentration on her power that it was all a little surprising and foreign to her
so to sum it up, her first year saw her suffering with academics, and other aspects of her life at imperium, however for the most part, everything was p good and she was content
so after a while, seulie switched into fashion marketing and she loves it
her parents were p disappointed for a while bc of the switch in major and there was an evident strain on their relationship ( between her and her mom, at least ) but by now they’ve come around and she’s so thankful for that tbh ??
anyway she’s kinda a mess, not rly sure of what else to say lol
personality and other stuff ig
pansexual af 
soft af !!
spontaneous, if only i could give you an example rIP
obsessed with the idea of leading a luxurious lifestyle and wants it to be at her own accord
has a bit of a dependency on others, even if she tries to deny it bc she knows she does deep down
a generally cheery person who wants the best for people
C L U M S Y
like she rly isn’t joining any sports bc of it, even if soccer is prob ok for her; won’t take her chances lmao
the type to make up for any harm she inflicted in training by icing your bruise, buying you lunch or cuddling if you wanna do that lol
physical affection is everything to her rly, kisses and the like are welcomed wholeheartedly
won’t admit to this either, but she tends to feel rly insecure bc she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her life once she actually dived into uni or how to tell her parents, or how some people tend to walk over her bc of her occasional naiveté, see her as weak for being a more gentle soul, etc
is scarily calm when she’s angry, but that’s bc she doesn’t get angry per se ?? it’s irritation and disappointment at best so like.. beware
thinks the hierarchy is pathetic and jst wants everyone to be treated fairly ?? is prob an advocate for world peace but with the knowledge of it being difficult to achieve easily, so she approaches this whole thing similarly
is the type to cry over a series finale she’s watched twenty times already
horror movies get her evERY TIME; even if she can laugh at the badly done ones, the jump scares without fail fuck her up
super chill though, always smiling, just a rly cute bean
loves cats and dogs, she’ll never pick one over the other
hc: when she has a family and all that and they decide to adopt a puppy, she’ll leave the kids with her partner and snatch a tabby cat bc why not have both ??
the biggest meat hoe™
but loves cocoa more than life itself
tries to dress in a sophisticated manner but also rly loves wearing cute baggy sweatshirts and ball caps
skIRTS
loves all of the cult classic teen movies, has a soft spot for well done romance flicks and kdramas too
also a hopeless romantic and is set on the principle of heart over head, legit will fall in love with/develop a crush on you so easily so watch yourself pLS
has never been in a relationship tho lol
.. wh y am i saying that like she’s a loser when i haven’t either
i rly just played myself, why am i not surprised lfjdkgh
loves indie/electropop, alternative, rap, and r&b music
has a profound admiration for classical as well
not the heaviest drinker or user of sorts but it’s prob for the best bc she’s such a lightweight lmao
can be like four different people when she’s drunk so.. yeah js hahaha
so she’s sometimes that chick™ that has a wild time at a party but surprise !! she’s stone cold sober
has a slight oral fixation ig ? not in a sexual manner though so don’t get any ideas hahaha
.. ok maybe a little but it’s rly innocent on her part 99% of the time. you’ll almost never see her without a straw in her drink for example; she’s also a lollipop and liquorice hoe so yeah
she’ll never bite her nails though, at least not beyond a light nip that’s p subconscious when she’s concentrating on something
.. funny how i typed more about this than her feelings abt her major rIP
but listen when i say that she’s lowkey freaky i fucking meant it lmAO. idek if she realizes it herself but yeah.. she’s not that pure sdhfkg i hate myself for this you doNT UNDERSTAND
so that’s seulie !! if you’d like to plot, just like this or message me, i’ll try to get back to you as soon as i can !
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hlcyncyx · 7 years
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came back from my first run in ages and feeling like poop cuz i'm also having cramps but then i look at some pictures of people i love and remember that the world is a happy place and i'm motivated to run again bc i wna become a better person like them, for them 🤔
met jianmin tdy and i rmb how cheryl asked me if i had friends in cell & what's my take on cell. so i told her that i rly enjoy my time in cell & enjoy hanging w the people there bc they’re all my friends, but if she was talking about supporting friends, only jianmin. if i changed cell, i'll rly miss everyone bc they're nice people. yet it's a similar feeling to that i felt before uni, the kind of open-endedness. am i now unwilling or uncertain? is it a change i’m pursuing or specifically changing cells? 
finally, after a series of radically disappointing and traumatic events, a new mindset seems to have emerged. i used to think that i should and could only tell things to people who're interested. but that's not true. you can tell things to people even if they don't express interest. you don't need other people's permission to tell them anything, that prerogative lies with you. but that also means that the responsibility of sieving through who to tell what also lies with you. i don't have to tell something to someone just because they ask me about it. even if they show genuine concern. i also don't have to wait for others to express interest in something before i tell them about it. i guess it's a more active approach than my previous one. with this, i am no longer comfortable with sharing certain things in life with certain people, even if their intentions are right and even if their heart is genuine. intentions are no longer the only thing that matters to me. it depends on the person, what kind of person they are, what kind of responses they give, context specific. it is no longer general. its become personal. specific. and more importantly, flexible. i have a right to choose. you see, i no longer have to shut everyone out as a general rule just to protect myself. 
i've changed so much. this weekend while visiting my grandparents, i happened to see that they rebuilt the playground i used to play at. i think about how my childhood revolved around death and separation, every week, and how my godmum used to bring me to the playground because i'd pester her about it, and then go back home for dinner, before being shipped off, back to home home, where i had little to no recollection of. only today i realise how traumatic it was. what i told jianmin was right. the divorce didn’t mean much to me because by that time, i’ve learnt to distance myself from people i cared for. separation was always a part and parcel of life for me. “everyone leaves anyway” was my belief for such a long time, and i over-idealise the idea of committing to one person while running away from it in real life, sabotaging my own relationships while spreading myself thin over people i don’t like, things i don’t care for, because those were safe, those were comfortable. things and people i don’t care for won’t hurt me, they can’t hurt me. of course, things slip through the cracks. but i’m learning to make commitment conscious. i’ll commit to certain people, to certain things, because they matter. never again, i hope, because they matter enough but not enough. 
and now? now i'm reclaiming lost time, with myself, for myself. chermin was right, really. she sees a lot of me that i don't want to own up to. 
(and she's still here. we really need 1 or 2 friends like her in life. friends who literally pick you up and later only tell you how light you are. friends who only laugh even when you almost puke on them. friends who lead you around clarke quay without you being aware 90% of the time. i remember the singer btw he was playing a really sad song on the bridge. (-’: maybe not friends that cajole you to drink though you've sweared off drinks for months. but certainly, friends who love u, know your fears and dare you to challenge yourself.)
she was the one who first broached the question: what do you do for yourself? i do a lot of things for myself, defensively. i don’t do a lot of things for myself because i enjoy them, because i like doing them. even reading has always been a bit of a defensive mechanism for me. now, i’m learning to do things because i enjoy them, whether it’s meeting people, hanging with my family, going on solo walks, and reading of course. there was always that element of enjoyment there even if i used it to escape. i guess i try to not do things “because i have time” (meeting people) / “because i need to” (defensive mechanisms). i do it because i want to. and i’m continuing to explore what i like/dislike, what matters to me and live consciously. and i rly have to say, living consciously has made such a difference in my life, even though i’m still in practice phase. i think so much change going on in my life has forced me to live consciously in the present too, so that’s great timing. 
ending off with a bit of what jianmin and i talked about today: perspective. learning to believe in the good of everything and every situation has really done me well, and this belief can only rest in the fact that: God is good. even in the bad times, even in the difficult seasons, even when i ask: is God really good? there is safety in questioning. there is grace to see. there is love to light the way. as long as we choose to be open to it. i realise now that this may sound like God’s love is conditional, but that it’s not. what is conditional is whether we’re open to seeing it or not. and whether we see it or not, He still loves us. and that is why, i love Him sm.  (-: 
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