#just read it again cause i wanted to do something nice for myself this morning and now im emotional

[bigshoeswamp]

The way Run Away with me, Girl depicts love is so beautiful. For both Maki and Midori, life had always been void of meaning. Midori felt alone and abandoned, and that this was the reality of things. Every time she felt truly happy, she saw it as “magic”, and running away from things. Maki, on the other hands, just let the days pass lacking meaning for them, feeling isolated from “normality”.

When they meet again as adults, it’s at first a magical moment, a way for them to run away from their problems - as happiness had always been for them, especially Midori. As Maki chooses Midori again and again, and shows her she will be there to share the magic, to run away with her, Midori starts to consider happiness not a dream made of magical shared moments here and there, but a reality.

Though life is full of violence and misunderstanding and hardships, they can find beauty in things, they can choose each other and to deal with it all and make it beautiful together, instead of running away.

Falling in love might feel magical and like an escape of the bleakness of life - and though it’s always a bit that, as it grows, love is so much more. It’s about making the unliveable liveable, about sharing every hardship until it becomes solvable. It’s about getting to see the beauty amdist all that, inside all that. Maki and Midori fell in love as teens, and as adults they learned to love each other.

[dearpyramus]

Hey you 🤗

I love love love your Dad!Carmen Masterlist! Read all of your Blurbs and Oneshots 😚👌🏻

Can i put in a request for Dad!Carmen?

I myself am 15 weeks pregnant, coming out of the nausea and vomiting phase but it hits back sometimes... This week i found back to enjoy cooking again but last night i cooked this amazing meal for my family only to feel nausea while serving the food and not able to eat and enjoy it with my family...

Would write something similar with Dad!Carmen?

If you're not up for it, i understand!

Hug n kiss 🧡

hiiii. first off im so so sorry this took so long answer!! ive been so busy and wanted to do this right!! also congratulations and i hope ur feeling well 🫶 and it means a lot ur enjoy dad!carmen. im always happy to provide. also i know next to nothing about cooking i just picked a random dish lmao

tw: nausea (nothing graphic)

it was an exciting day for your husband. you had officially gotten out of the nausea period of your pregnancy and you were celebrating with some homemade lasagna. it was always a favorite of yours and you missed it dearly when you could barely smell it without heaving.

at least, you thought the nausea period was over. you prayed that it was over.

As of late, it wasn’t uncommon for you to awake to carmen murmuring softly to your bump.

Soft curls caressed your belly as your bleary eyes prepared for the morning. Gentle hums and soothing rubs pressed on your abdomen as you awoken for the day.

Carmy had been obsessed with your unborn baby since the day you told him you were expecting. It was a constant for him to be talking to your bump and to look out for you and make sure you weren’t over exerting yourself. He held your hair back as you emptied the contents of your stomach due to morning sickness, whispering reassurances and rubbing circles into your back. He made sprite and was patient when you could barely do anything due to nausea.

“Good morning baby. How are’y today?” he murmured into your protruding stomach. You couldn’t help yourself from stroking his hair as he talked to your baby, something you always did.

Suddenly you felt him pressing more into your bump, as if he was trying to hear something.

“Hey, I think I felt little one kicking!”

He said eagerly, causing you to laugh. You felt bad as you realized the reality of the situation.

“It’s too early still to feel their kicks. It’s probably my stomach. Me and little one are hungry,” you chucked.

Carmy knew you were right but still wanted to entertain the fantasy of feeling his baby’s kicks for the first time. He really was eager.

He presses tender kisses on your tummy at your words and giggles. You’ve been hearing a lot of those lately. He constantly wanted to be in tune to what you craved and didn’t. While the morning sickness was waning, he still wanted to be careful. He always was trying his best to be careful for you and the baby.

He murmured something about having a nice recipe that you and the baby would enjoy. He rubbed your belly and gave it another peck before departing to the kitchen, instructing you to stay put. He would rather die than to see your exerting yourself, even if you weren’t that pregnant yet.

You waited patiently as he prepared a dish for you. Chicken fettuccine alfredo. It was always your favorite when you and him ate together. Nowadays, you prayed you were able to keep it down. The morning sickness had subsided, it seemed, so surely that would be the case.

It wasn’t until he presented the dish and you were slammed with a waved a nausea that you knew it was different. You mentally wished to kick yourself: you thought things were different. You were under the impression the morning sickness was through. You so badly wanted to enjoy your husband’s cooking. After all, he never failed to put his heart and soul into his every dish.

You attempted to try a taste. Shortly after, you had to excuse yourself to heave the small bite into the toilet. You mentally cursed yourself. You felt so useless. You couldn’t even enjoy the home cooked meal Carmen made with love for you.

In a gist he was by your side, stroking your back and holding back your locks as you heaved into the toilet. He put all this love and care into the meal only for you to puke it up shortly after. You mentally cursed yourself as you thought your morning sickness had subsided.

You were to frantically apologize, much to Carmy’s concern. He was quick to shush you and stroke your hair.

“Hey baby, it’s okay. I know you’re still feeling bad. It’s okay,” he cooed.

You were always so grateful for him, especially now b

[scoonsalicious]

8.2 Bucky

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Lily McIntyre, trainer for new SHIELD recruits at the Avengers Tower, has been in love with her best friend, Bucky Barnes, from the moment she met him. She's been content with her role of the #1 girl in Bucky's life, even if it means she has to sabotage a romantic relationship or two. It'll be worth it when he realizes that they're meant for each other, right? There's just one small problem: Lily McIntire never expected Bucky Barnes to fall for You.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, mentions of sexual situations, mostly this is just fluff.

Word Count: 2.7k

Previously On...: You had a nightmare/memory of your time in Afghanistan.

A/N: It's really nice out. I'm writing outside today, lol.

If you ever feel so inclined to support my work, hop on over to buy me a coffee; it's much appreciated! <3

NOTE! The tag list is a fickle bitch, so I'm not really going to be dealing with it anymore. If you want to be notified when new story parts drop, please follow @scoonsaliciousupdates

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Bucky slowly came into consciousness to the sensation of small hands running up and down his chest. Blinking his eyes open, he grinned when he saw Major leaning over him, tracing her fingers along the planes of his muscles.

“Morning,” she said, smiling down at him, her long hair hanging around her face like curtains.

“Mornin’, doll,” he replied, voice rough with sleep. “You been up long?”

She hummed, running her fingers up along both sides of his collarbone and back down again. “No,” she said. “Maybe ten minutes?” She shrugged. “I was planning on letting you sleep for a while longer, but you looked so pretty, couldn’t stop myself from touching you.”

He gripped one of her wrists in his hand and brought it to his lips, kissing her pulse point. “Glad you didn’t, sugar,” he said, nuzzling her hand to his cheek. “Cause lookin’ at you’s better than any dream I coulda been havin’.”

Major playfully pinched his cheek as she rolled her eyes at him. “What did I tell you about your sweet talk, Sergeant?” she said. 

Bucky pretended to think about it for a moment. “Um…,” he mused, tapping his chin with a forefinger, “that there was nothing you could do to stop me from doin’ it? Even if I already did have you right where I wanted you?”

She laughed, and Bucky loved the way the morning light caught the natural highlights of her hair. 

“What should we do today?” he asked, sitting up so he was propped against his headboard and pulling her into his lap. He leaned down to kiss her shoulder where the collar of his too-big shirt had left it exposed. 

“Breakfast, at some point,” Major said, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

Bucky nodded, his hands tracing up and down her sides. “Obviously.”

“Maybe you could show me around this fancy compound of yours,” she suggested, playing with the short hairs at the nape of his neck.

“Mmm,” Bucky said, sliding a hand up under the hem of his shirt she wore to rest it on her hip. “Sounds like a plan. What else?”

“Take me for another ride on your motorcycle?” she offered.

“I’d like to take you for another ride on something, sugar,” he teased, playfully nipping at the delicate skin of her neck.

“Bucky,” Major chastised, pulling back to look him in the eyes with a smile. “If you wanted to just stay in bed and have sex all day, you could have just said so.”

“I want to stay in bed and have sex all day.,” he deadpanned, trying to fight his grin.

Major scoffed and rolled her eyes. “It’s like you only want me for one thing, Sergeant.”

Bucky felt his entire body stiffen at the accusation, and he sat up straighter. “Sugar– Major, no! Of course not! I–”

She started laughing and gently swatted his chest. “Relax, Bucky; I was kidding. I absolutely do not mind having all the sex with you. I don’t know if you’re aware of this or not, but you’re actually quite good at it.”

He let out a breath in relief, but something still didn’t sit right with him. Yes, since meeting Major just four days ago, they had fucked. A lot. But he wanted more from her than that. He wanted to give her more than that. 

“I think I’m about to say something really stupid,” Bucky said slowly, hoping he was making the right call.

Major raised an eyebrow. “Okay,” she said, dragging the word out. “I’m proud of you for being able to recognize that beforehand, I guess?”

Bucky’s lips puckered disapprovingly. “Smartass,” he said. Major just laughed and pressed her forehead into the crook of his shoulder, letting him continue. “I think we should stop having sex.”

She pulled back, the look on her face full of such shock and disappointment that it was Bucky’s turn to laugh at her. “You can’t be serious!” she exclaimed. 

“I’m not saying, you know, forever,” he said, running his hands up and down her arms to console her. “Or even long-term. Just for, like, a little while.” 

“But, why?” Major whined, sounding like a child who was told she couldn’t have ice cream after dinner. “I thought you liked it.”

“Oh, sugar,” Bucky said, pulling her close again, “I fucking love it. I just want us to be more than that, you know? I don’t ever want you to think that that’s all I want from you.”

“Bucky, I was just joking around. I know that’s not–”

“I want us to last, Major,” Bucky interrupted her to confess. “I want us to last a good, long time. And if we’re gonna do that, we have to have more than just fucking between us. I want to know everything about you. And I want you to know everything about me. Hell, I wanna be everything you need. I want this to be real, and strong, and to have all kinds of intimacy with you beyond just physical stuff. It’s not that I don’t fucking love fucking you–” he smiled when she snorted at his phrasing– “it’s just that I don’t want that to be the only thing I love about you.”

He hoped she understood what he was trying to say without him actually having to say it: He wanted to fall in love with her–  more than anything he had ever wanted in his entire existence. He was more than halfway there already, if he was being honest with himself, but he was suddenly afraid that if they didn’t slow things down between them, if they didn’t take the time to get to know more than just each other’s bodies, they were going to fizzle out before they could truly shine together. 

Major’s eyes were wide and glossy as she studied his face. Bucky held his breath as she took in what he had said, knowing in his heart that if she didn’t agree, if she only wanted him for sex and nothing else, he’d cave in a heartbeat, just to keep her close.

“Okay,” she said softly. “I want that, too, so, okay.”

Bucky let out the breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. “Thank fuck,” he said, bringing his lips to hers for a kiss. 

“Now, when you say ‘no sex,’” Major began, “are you talking ‘no penetration,’ or can we still–”

“Neither one of us gets to use any part of our bodies to get the other one off,” Bucky said resolutely.

Major frowned at his declaration, and the sight was so alluring that Bucky was instantly second guessing himself. “That just seems unnecessarily cruel, Sarge,” she pouted. 

Damn it, he thought, it did seem unnecessarily cruel. He was already caving, and it had barely been a few minutes! 

“I know, sugar, I know. But I think we’ll be better for it.” He really did. He just had to keep reminding himself of that.

Major’s pout deepened. “I know,” she said. “Logically, it makes sense.” She sighed. “How long?”

“In all honesty,” Bucky said with a chuckle, “I haven’t really thought that far ahead. A couple of weeks? At least until after I’ve taken you out on a few more proper dates. Treat you right, you know?”

She threw her head back overdramatically. “A couple weeks?!” she cried. “How am I supposed to function without that good dick, Bucky?”

“Well, now you’re just being theatrical, doll,” Bucky smiled. 

“Fun fact,” Major said, “I did theater all four years in high school. I even got to play Sarah in our production of Guys and Dolls my senior year.”

Bucky smiled. “Well, I don’t know what that is, doll, but see! That’s something I wouldn’t have learned about you if we were having sex right now!”

Major’s laugh was rich, and it made Bucky think of hot chocolate on a winter’s day. Of a kiss on a scraped knee. “Fair enough,” she told him. “But it’s a crime that you don’t know what Guys and Dolls is.”

“So, that’s what we’ll do today, then,” Bucky said. “Show me this Guys and Dolls, doll.” He chuckled, amused with himself.

Major rolled her eyes good naturedly. “I’m going to need some breakfast, first,” she told him, getting off his lap and the bed. She raised her arms over her head in an elongated stretch, and Bucky couldn’t help but admire the way his shirt crept up her thighs, showing more and more of her tantalizing skin until--

No, he had to remind himself. They were going to be putting a temporary moratorium on that kind of thinking. God, this was going to be so much harder than he thought it would be.

He and Major took a shower together, and while there was an excessive amount of touching, they managed to keep it relatively tame. Afterwards, Bucky offered Major another of his shirts to wear, but she paused as she was collecting the rest of her clothes from where they’d scattered them across his room the night before.

“So, Bucky,” she said, her voice sounding confused, “really weird question, but do you happen to have my panties in your possession, by any chance?”

Bucky paused in the middle of toweling off his hair and looked up at her. “What?” he asked, thinking he must have heard her incorrectly.

“My underwear,” Major clarified. “I can’t find my underwear.”

Bucky snorted a laugh. “They’ve gotta be here somewhere, sugar,” he said, walking over to where she stood to help her look. “It’s not like I have a lot of stuff for them to hide behind.”

For the next few minutes, they searched the room, but they came up empty again and again.

“You don’t remember where you might have tossed them when you took them off last night?” he asked her.

Major looked at him. “You took them off me last night,” she said. “When you took off my shorts, you pulled them off, too.”

Bucky thought back to the previous evening. They’d been in a rush to get each other’s clothes off, but he was fairly confident he’d only removed her shorts. “Did…” he paused, the question he was about to pose making him a little shy. “Did you forget to put them back on before we left the woods?”

Major’s hands flew to her mouth. “Oh my god,” she said, trying to suppress a giggle. “I honestly don’t know! It was dark and I don’t remember! Oh, shit! Bucky!” She was trying so hard now not to laugh. “Did I leave my soaked panties in a fucking public park?!”

“That’s pretty deviant of you, doll,” he laughed. Major playfully swatted his chest. 

“It’s your fault!” she exclaimed.

“My fault?” Bucky was faux-affronted. “How was it my fault you forgot your knickers?”

“You just had to make that comment about imagining me in only the dog tags,” she chastised. “You knew exactly where that would lead.”

Bucky couldn’t fault her logic there. “Fair enough, sugar,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. “I take full responsibility.”

“And now you’re going to have to live with the knowledge that I’m going to be walking around all day without any panties on, and there’s not a damned thing you can do about it, because you had to go and decide we shouldn’t have sex anymore.”

Bucky groaned. “Ugh, the me of an hour and a half ago was a moron. Remind me again why I thought that was a good idea?” he begged her. 

“Nope,” Major said. “That’s a hole you dug for yourself. Now you have to lie in it.”

“Lie in it with me?” he asked, putting his most charming smile on display for her.

She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. “Only if you keep your hands to yourself.”

*

To Bucky’s surprise, the rest of their day together went by in a flash, and he had a great time with Major– even if they both had kept all of their clothes on. He’d taken her on his bike to get a late breakfast at Melinda’s, and while Major had excused herself to the restroom, Mya had approached him.

“I like this one for you, Bucky,” she’d said with a knowing grin. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile so wide before. 

After breakfast, they returned to the compound, and Bucky had given Major a tour, showing her all the amenities the facility had to offer, though he avoided the building where the new SHIELD recruits did their training. He brought her down to the shooting range, and the two spent a couple of entertaining hours together in the simulator, running practice combat drills. When Bucky watched Major hit every single one of her targets, it was all he could do to not throw his “no more sex” rule right out the window.

They had lunch with Sam and Steve, and Bucky thought he was going to die from embarrassment at all the things they were telling Major about him. When he said he had wanted her to know everything about him, he wasn’t thinking about that time in eighth grade when he’d asked Dolores Carmichael to be his girlfriend and she told the whole class he was a terrible kisser. But Steve, apparently, thought it was vital information.

“You’ve either improved tremendously since then,” Major had said with a laugh, “or old Dolores had impossible standards.”

When they’d finished exploring the compound, they went back to Bucky’s room and Major introduced him to the world of Guys and Dolls on Prime Video. The movie was nearly as old as he was– 1955, she’d said, and he appreciated it, though he found the entire thing ridiculous. But Major loved it, and he loved watching her love it, and that was good enough for him. 

Before he knew it, the afternoon was waning into early evening, and it was time for him to take Major back to Langston Park for her to get her truck and head home. He found himself driving his bike a lot slower to get there than he normally would have, savoring the feeling of her hands gripped around his waist. 

When they arrived at the parking lot, Major hopped off the bike and took off the extra helmet he’d given her. “Thank you for today,” she said, leaning in to kiss him. “I had a great time, even without having sex with you.”

Bucky laughed and pulled her close for a hug. “Speaking of,” he said, “you wanna run into the woods and go looking for your panties real quick?”

Major tossed her head back and groaned. “Ugh, no!” she said. “I’m too mortified! They belong to the forest now. They've probably gone wild.” 

Bucky chuckled, but soon his expression turned serious. “When can I see you again?” he asked. If it were up to him, she’d never be out of his sight.

“Whenever you want, Sergeant,” she told him, her voice an almost-purr. “You know where I live.”

“Dinner tomorrow?” he asked hopefully. 

“I’d like that,” she replied.

Bucky brought his lips to hers, and for a moment, they stayed there, kissing languidly. Eventually, though, Major pulled away. “Alright,” she said begrudgingly, “I better go now before I lose my resolve to leave at all.” Reaching over the bed of her truck, she tossed Bucky the shirt he had worn the night before and had left there to dry overnight.

Bucky watched as Major got into her truck and rolled down the window before backing up. “Let me know when you get home safe, yeah?” he asked.

“Yes, mom,” Major said, but he could tell from the glint in her eye that his concern touched her.

He watched as she drove away, sticking a hand out the window to wave a final farewell before rounding the corner and disappearing from sight. Just as Bucky was about to re-mount his bike to head back to the Compound, his phone pinged with a text. 

He smiled to himself. Was Major missing him that much already?

But, no– the text wasn’t from Major at all.

Lily: We need to have a conversation about you standing me up last night.

Bucky swallowed.

Well, shit.

<- Previous Part / Next Part ->

[masiola]

How Lucifer, Mammon and Leviathan would react to MC coming home drunk, calling them handsome and asking them out (even though they are already dating lol).

GN! MC

Contents warning: intoxication, alcohol, flirting

A/N: I wasn't sure if I should make this brothers x MC or x reader. Reading back on this, it's not my best work 😭

MC goes clubbing with a few demon friends from RAD. They finally find a drink that affects them, and let's just say they go way overboard. The drinks slowly start to take effect, by the time they get back to the HoL they are completely out of it. They barely make it to the stairs in the lobby, loosing their balance and grabbing onto the handrail for dear life. This causes an onset of giggles and laughter that alerts one of the brothers.

Lucifer

Lucifer is not impressed. He's going to lecture MC in the morning because all that matters right now is getting them to bed. He'll probably humour them or say something he normally wouldn't because they won't remember it the next day.

"Who's making so much noise this late at ni-" He comes storming in. His expression softens slightly when he sees MC.

"Hello handsome~"MC winks.

"You should stop talking or you might say something you regret tomorrow." SIGHS. He picks them up into his arms so it's easier to take them to their room.

"Oh really? Then I have a question."

"Yes?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Will you go out with me?"

"You're a mess MC let's get you to bed." He grumbles

"Am not! I can walk by myself and you didn't answer my question!" MC huffs.

"Okay, show me." He let's go of MC and crosses his arms.

"Watch this."

MC walks relatively straight but walks into the wall. Lucifer pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs deeply.

"Come on dear, let's get you to bed."

"Skipping straight to bed? You're bold."

"That's if you can handle it." He smirks.

MC happily takes his hand and leads him to their room. As soon as MC gets on the bed, they pass out. Lucifer chuckles softly.

"Sweet dreams MC." He whispers kissing the top of their head.

Mammon

Mammon would become serious here because he wants to make sure his human is safe.

"Jeez MC, how much did ya drink?" He sighs.

"C'mon on up ya get." He carefully picks them up off the ground.

"Mammon can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Do you want to go out with me?"

"MC yer drunk..."

"Is that a no to going out with me?" MC sulks and tears threaten to fall down their face.

"Huh? N-no! MC listen. Yer beautiful, kind and amazing in every way. I-l like ya a lot 'kay. So please just cooperate with me for a bit until we get ya to yer room." He stops walking to look them in the eyes, caressing their cheek with his thumb.

"Alright...babygirl." They smile cheekily at the nickname, before erupting with laughter.

"N-now why'd ya call me that?!" He yells, hiding his blush because he secretly enjoyed it. Will he ask you to call him babygirl again? Probably.

Removes MCs makeup if they're wearing any, and helps to change them into something more comfy, maybe one of his t-shirts.

Leviathan

He gets really worried and panics a little.

"MC? What's so funny? OMG are you okay?!" He helps them stand up

MC looks up. "Oh hello, handsome." They smile sweetly causing Levi to blush.

"S-stop that! Let's just get you into bed." He holds MC by the waist, helping them up the stairs.

"Levi...I want to ask you something."

"What?"

"Do you want to go out with me?"

"MC! We're a-already dating!! Don't you remember?" He's flustered at how bold they are right now. MC stops walking to look at him dumbfounded and proceeds to kiss him on the cheek.

"I must be the luckiest human ever!" They cheer.

"That's not true you could do so much better." He mumbles under his breath.

"Nonsense I only want you!" MC pouts.

"Speaking of... we're sleeping in your bed right? So we can be nice and close to each other." They smile innocently.

"MC!" He feels like his heart is going to explode.

[ayannasgf]

Angst because of Taylor and Gracies I love you I’m sorry x last kiss that got me in the feels🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Warning: might be boring is actually boring

Authors note: First thing I wrote, if u don’t wanna read it then don’t no one’s forcing u damn🫤 I take criticism to heart and I will cry☺️☺️☺️☺️

ALSO THIS WAS HEAVILY INSPIRED BY MILLIES FIC CAUSE I LOVE HER ANGST SM LOVELOVELOVE

————————————

Beep Beep Beep!

Stupid alarm.

I turned groggily to my side to shut my alarm up. Another day to dread.

I did my normal routine, eat, feed the camcam, get ready for my usual morning jog- Maybe I’ll call Paige first

And so I did, which was quickly sent to voicemail. Well, expected.

“Hey it’s Paige! leave a message I’ll get to you later, toodles!”

“Sure you will.” The tone always managed to make me plaster a small smile on my face, toodles? what are we mickey mouse?- anyhoo

“Hey it’s me, just wanted to.. at least try to reach out. I know I hadn’t seen you in months I just couldn’t bring myself to. But I promise, later okay? I love you.”

Time for my jog I guess.

——————————

The morning was kinda cold, dewey if you say, ‘twas raining last night.

You loved the rain, said it was cuddling weather and an excuse to be lazy.. You were lazy no matter the weather so it didn’t really make sense.

Smell of the pavement, after the rain, reminds me of the times where we used to go on late night walks cause I couldn’t sleep. A memory, you moved too far out of reach.

———————————

The rest of the day wasn’t easy, I didn’t keep my word. I couldn’t bring myself to- not after how we ended.

I sat on the floor, wearing your clothes, staring at the gloomy window as the rain pattered gently on the pavement. Your scent was fading, but what’s left of it felt like a warm embrace.

Bueckers, written on the back of the jersey. A name I thought I would take.

Ding!

~8th anniv wit pboogerss!!~

I try to be strong I really do, but when it came to you, my walls come crashing down. It didn’t help that you weren’t around.

So here I am again, attempting to call.

“Hey it’s Paige! leave a message I’ll get to you later, toodles!-“

“Hi, I’m sorry I didn’t go.. this is exactly why I don’t make promises. I just couldn’t bring myself to okay?- not after.. not after how I treated you before it happened- not with knowing.. you’ll be there but I wouldn’t be able to touch you or- hold you or see that damn grin on your fucking face again.. Paige I want you back- I need you. I fucking need you why.. why are you always gone when I need you the most?…”

Then the water works, something I thought I couldn’t bring myself to do anymore, not after months of hurting.

“I need you.. please..”

I sobbed, but it was different this time. I had no one to kiss my tears away, or to embrace me to the point I thought I was gonna suffocate, but I never minded cause I loved having you close.

“Paige just come back..”

She’s never coming back. I just wish I knew that was our last kiss cause I wouldn’t have let you go.

“I hope it’s nice wherever the fuck you are.. I never thought we’d end like this.”

The message was sent, but I know I wasn’t getting a response. My eyes make everything with light glisten, I look down to my ring.

“You took forever too seriously..fuck ass..”

———————————

a/n: I know it’s not the best or anything but I just really had the strong urge to post angst for some reason🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[ryuichirou]

A bit ago I asked if you had thoughts on Riddle being the only bottom on the island during the Stitch event, and at that point you hadn’t read it. Now that you have, any headcannons on how fun/torturous Riddle’s time was?

Anon!! Thank you asking again, I am very happy that you did because YES I want to talk about it!! Thank you so much for waiting until we watch it AND for waiting for me to actually reply this time lol It still took a while somehow. Thank you for staying for so long and bringing this ask back!

Riddle’s outfit in this event it absolutely ridiculous, his belly button attracts all of the attention, it’s not even fair. I had to compose myself a little bit…

But I hope you’ll enjoy it! All of them are spicy on some level, but the earlier ones turned out to be milder, I think.

Also ah yes I should probably mention that Stitch is also around for some of the hcs… would’ve been a shame to skip him, right?

When they were surfing for the first time, Azul and Riddle both struggled quite a bit, and at some point Azul grabbed the closest thing he had in front of him not to fall from his board, and that thing turned out to be Riddle’s butt. Riddle squealed, and both of them fell from their boards immediately… and Riddle’s poor butt was hurting after that. He didn’t expect Azul to have such strong of a grip; that was vicious!! The rest of the evening went nicely and Riddle had a lot of fun, but in the morning he found a red hand mark right between his cheeks, and felt extremely embarrassed about it, avoiding looking at Azul for as much as he could, but also pouting and making it very obvious that something happened between them.

Riddle got to sit on Jack’s wide shoulders for a couple of minutes while trying to grab a fruit from a tall tree. He didn’t expect to get picked up and put up there like this, but he actually enjoyed it more than he expected… He felt a bit hot and ticklish though because Jack’s neck is surprisingly hot + unsurprisingly fluffy with his long hair. And when Jack suddenly decided to go somewhere without putting Riddle back down, Riddle immediately squeezed his neck with his bare thighs. It was definitely due to Riddle’s horseriding habits… Then Jack suddenly grabbed his thighs to help him stay stable, and the sensation of his large hands squeezing him like that made Riddle feel hot down there. The tingles… if Jack’s hair weren’t so thick, he would’ve definitely felt something growing between Riddle’s legs.

Riddle actually really enjoyed Ace’s company! He didn’t cause much trouble, was pretty sweet with him, and they even danced together, and Ace hugged him a couple of times which Riddle didn’t even refuse and only giggled about. The thing is though, he felt like Ace was staring at him the entire time they were on the island. It’s like Ace was eating him alive or wanted something from him very desperately, but instead of going for it, was just “nibbing” at him throughout the day. It all came together when Ace splashed Riddle with water, laughed at his white shirt becoming translucent, playfully fought him, fell to the ground with him and then, as if the mood just switched, rubbed against his leg and kissed his chest through the wet clothes. (Un)fortunately, they got distracted by Stitch doing something loud before Riddle could even wrap his head around what was happening. He could still feel something wet and hot on his thigh after that though…

One time Riddle crawled into a hammock to chill for a couple of minutes, but Lilia was already there, and Riddle didn’t see him. He apologised and started crawling back out, but Lilia hugged him tightly and made him lie on top of him, saying that they could relax together. It was a bit weird, but Riddle didn’t want to argue with a senpai, and it was just for a couple of minutes anyway, so… somehow, after a couple of minutes Riddle was the one under Lilia while Lilia was playing with his butt and making out with him. He didn’t even take off his shorts, just put his hand under there and teased his hole with his fingers, while Riddle was gulping saliva and hyperventilating into the kiss. After Riddle came just from that, Lilia giggled, said something about the youth being very cute and left him like that.

Floyd... Oh Floyd. Riddle and Floyd had such a joyful ride during this event it honestly deserves its own post lol But for now! Their tension was so strong from the get-go that they actually almost had sex multiple times. Outside of the cave during the first day, then behind their newly built house , then behind a huge rock on the beach. On some level Floyd knew that Riddle wanted it very badly and teased him by blueballing him like that, but also flirting with him and hinting at sex all the time. So when they actually managed to fuck, Riddle was so horned up and loud that everyone heard them…even though they were hiding pretty deep into the forest. When they came back, everyone knew.

They always woke up in unexpected positions. One morning Riddle found himself buried under Jack who was sniffing his head and hugging him tightly, almost suffocating him. Another night Ace was hugging him from behind and rubbing against him a little. Azul was a very unexpected one: he almost tangled his own legs with Riddle’s, putting his head under Riddle’s shirt and sleeping like that, salivating on his stomach a little bit…

During one of the dinners Floyd and Ace made Riddle deepthroat a banana and he didn’t even realise what was going on at first. Ace joked about the housewarden’s mouth being so small that he always eats in tiny cute bites, and then Floyd joined him, and then both of them egged Riddle on to push a banana in his mouth as much as he can. Riddle was so pissed by that point that of course he wanted to prove them wrong… and everybody lost it. Floyd was laughing his ass off, Ace was nervously laughing quietly, clearly thinking about something bad. Jack was looking away all red, Lilia was smugly giggling to himself and Azul was facepalming (hiding his own blush) and quietly mumbling something about Riddle-san being incredibly gullible… and Stitch was making nasty comments in his own Stitch language.

Stitch actually makes a lot of nasty comments and dirty jokes about Riddle. Floyd and Lilia get them and say that Stitch is one foul creature (just like them), and Riddle doesn’t get it but still gets embarrassed for some reason. There is something in Stitch’s intonation when he says those things while looking at him. What are you three talking about again!

Stitch also straight-up humped Riddle a couple of times… one time was pretty subtle and on Riddle’s leg, another time was when Riddle was bending down to grab a pretty shell, and Stitch jumped right on top of him. It’s unclear whether it was a fully conscious action or just an instinct, and if Stitch was serious or was just messing with Riddle, but Riddle actually got both scared and weirdly hot at the same time. He managed to kick Stitch off, and Stitch immediately jumped into the nearest tree and disappeared, but… Riddle was sure he saw something bright pink sticking from his fur…

One of the fruits Lilia made them all eat turned out to be a very weird one that, it was like a very strong aphrodisiac. Strong enough to make everyone very sick at first, but after the first wave of fever calmed down and they were all sweaty and dizzy, they all got super horny. And none of them remember quite well what happened, but they did in fact have an orgy. Riddle remembers choking on something big, his belly being filled, something rubbing against his entire body, huge tongues, a lot of salty stuff, and that his nipples felt like someone was trying to bite them off. They all woke up naked, Riddle was cuddling against Jack’s chest with his legs hugging Floyd somehow, Azul’s glasses on his head, and a bunch of naked bodies around covered with flower petals. Why flower petals?! Anyways, even if their memory wasn’t completely wiped after this event, they still wouldn’t be able to remember what happened.  And just like at the end of the event, even though they don’t remember, there is something inside of them that craves for them to do it again…

[deansapplepie]

Till THE DEAD do us part|Chapter 20

Chapter 19 Chapter 21

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Chapter 20: Feeling better D.?

Summary: Everything is good again in paradise and you tell Daryl about how you feel left out by him and Rick. All is well, but Daryl needs a little help.

Warnings: Smut, purely bad smut, oral (male receiving), needy Daryl, just that. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, 18+.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Grimes!Reader (Rick’s Sister)

Word Count: 1,6 K

A/N: Worst smut I probably ever wrote, it’s your own risk if you read.

You laid on the small warm bunk, curled up in his arms, your head on his chest listening to his rhythmic heartbeat. Your hand that rested on his chest had now the fingers intertwined with his. He brought your hand to his mouth and kissed each of your fingers. You were already awaken at this time and you adored how he could be tender. You tilted your head a bit so you could face him and slowly opened your eyes.

“Good morning handsome…” You said a sleepy smile on your face. “What tender and nice way to be waken up…”

“ ‘morning pup.” He said in his raspy voice that due to being sleepy was a little deeper. “D’ya like it? I could think of other nice ways to wake you up…”

“I like it a lot, I like when you’re affectionate like this.” You kissed his chin, the hair on his stubble tickling your face. “Don’t you think it’s too early to be a pervert?”

“It’s never too early.” He replied, his other hand, the one that was hugging you drawing circles on your waist. “Did ya sleep well?”

You just hummed to say that yes, you had slept well. You were warm, in his arms, felt good and had no nightmares. You had slept heavenly. “Better impossible. And you?”

“Same. It’s always better when I’m with ya.” You scoffed. “Wha’?”

“It doesn’t look like it. It looks like you prefer Rick’s company.” You complained.

“Ya can’t be serious.” Now was his time to let out a snort. “Are ya jealous of me?”

“It’s not funny.” You pouted and looked away from his face for the first time. “Both of you are putting me aside.”

“Are we, babe?” He softly asked, his hand now running on your hair. He wanted to understand, even though this was really amusing and funny to him.

“Yeah. He doesn’t come to me to talk about what’s happening or about what he’s feeling. I’m his sister and we talked about it before, I thought he would continue coming to me, but…” you paused, it was more difficult than you imagined to talk about it with him. It was easy to complain to Lori, Carol and Maggie. “… instead he looks for you. It’s not bad, don’t get me wrong. I enjoy the fact that you get along. I just… feel left out.”

“He doesn’t want to burden ya. He knows you’re there for him, but he can’t help but try to protect ya.” Rick never told him that, but he knew that was it. He loved you so much to burden you, when you already had to take care of Lori and listen to what was troubling her. Also, he knew you were happy he was alive, but he also knew you felt Shane’s death. He felt Shane’s death, so Rick couldn’t burden you, finding a friend in Daryl.

“And you are always leaving me behind. We used to hunt and go on runs together, but now you both do everything together.” You complained. “I can take care of myself.”

“ ‘m sorry.” He truly were. He always noticed how you’d get upset when they told you to not go with them. “Nex’ time Rick call me to do something, ‘m gonna tell him right away ‘ ‘m only going if ma woman comes with us’”

You giggled. You were serious about your feelings towards the matter, but you couldn’t resist but laugh when he talked about telling Rick he would only go with you. “I like when you do that.”

“What?” He looked down at you.

“When you call me your woman.” You propped on your elbow to face him more directly.

“ ‘cause that what’ya are.” He said, and his gruff voice sent tingles all over you. You leaned in his direction and covered his lips with yours.

How did you end up so lucky in the end of the world? It was mystery to you, but you didn’t want to know you just wanted to enjoy the man you had in your arms. You kissed him passionately, soon ending up on top of him and what a surprise, or not, when you felt his erection right below you. You stoped the kissing and looked at him, your hand caressing his hair. “Were you planning telling me about your morning wood or were you trying to be romantic?” You teased him, his cheeks going red at the same moment.

You had become so confident with the time that he was proud and at the same time a little annoyed. “I’d… say it… eventually.” His face became redder, if it was even possible.

“Can I take care of you?” You asked, and did you even wanted an answer? Not exactly, but you liked to have some power over him.

“We’re… they’ll hear us. Forget, it will pass.” He said, reluctantly, didn’t even seem like the reckless guy that would ram you anywhere possible along the road.

You moved your hips one time slowly over his hard on, he let out a small hiss and you lightly spoke on his ear. “So, be silent.”

“Ya’re gonna be the death of me.” He spoke and he would have said more if you hadn’t moved your hips one more time against his and covered his lips with yours.

Oh, he was going to be death of you and not otherwise, because there wasn’t a day or a single moment where you didn’t want him, and there wasn’t a single thing you wouldn’t do for him, or at least you couldn’t think of anything at the moment.

You descended one of your hands to his clothed groin and massaged it, your hands delicately going up and down. Your lips left his mouth and descended to jaw and neck, while your hand still worked on him. He bit his lips trying to control the noises that wanted to leave his lips, his hips bucking against your hand.

You wanted to take your time with his body, open his shirt and kiss all over him, provoking those reactions that by now you already knew so well. But he was needy, you didn’t have so much time in store too, the possibility of being interrupted at any moment was there… so you simply shoved your hand inside of his pants and took his cock out of it releasing him from all the pressure and restraints.

You pumped it slowly but rhythmically, taking sighs and hisses out of him. “Pup, just do sumthin…” he almost begged, damn, you wanted to be mean and make him beg some more, but you couldn’t help yourself but do anything and everything he asked you to.

“Don’t worry babe, I’ll do it… I’m taking care of you, remember?” You reassured him as you slid your body down on his and was now face to face with his pretty delicious cock. He would protest, he would ask what about you… but it was too late, you already had the tip of his cock on your mouth and he was long lost in words.

You sucked on his tip savoring the delicious flavor of him and pre cum. He threw his head behind, he wanted to see you, he wanted to look at you, but he felt so overwhelmed. One of your hands stayed on top of his stomach, you didn’t have any power to keep him in place, but that had became an habit of yours when going down on him. Your hand on his lower stomach, your thumb making circular movements while your mouth worked sinfully on his dick. It had a strangely soothing effect on him at the same time you caused such a pleasure.

Your other hand still helped you pumping him, he groaned and hissed. He tried biting his pulse to muffle the sounds, that was just so good. You licked his cock almost from the base to the top and then repeated it again and one more time taking him fully inside your mouth. His free hand went to the back of your head, massaging your scalp, it was so tender and relaxing that you hummed on him the vibrations from your mouth making him throw his head back one more time.

You took him more and more inside your mouth establishing a rhythm, a vicious rhythm that for a moment made you forget where you exactly were. You bobbed your head savoring and sending him close to the edge. “Baby, Imma…” He tried to say, to warn you… but couldn’t even complete his sentence as his orgasm came and he shoot his seed inside of your warm delicious mouth. You didn’t waste a thing, you couldn’t get enough of that man.

You helped him to pack it again inside his pants and gave him another kiss on his lips. “Feeling better D.?”

“Better? Damn woman… we didn’t even do anything for ya.” The poor thing was in bliss but at the same time still concerned.

“Who says? You know I love your cock.” You said, another kiss. “Also, you can always compensate me in the future.”

He was about to reply you when you heard a voice coming down the stairs. “Hey! Lovebirds! Have you finished? We have work to do!” It was Glenn. You cringed when you listened to it, both of you tried to be silent… so the whole block had listened, probably. “It’s not like this… my ass.” You heard Maggie in the background probably making reference to months ago when you were still back at the farm.

Both of you got up and prepared to get ready for the day ahead of you. You were making this place a home.

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[windvexer]

Hello, Chicken!

A few small questions regarding spirit work. Thank you in advance!

I had interest in witchcraft a few years ago, stopped practicing after a few months, now came back and practice again, but I'm still really new, as you can tell.

I've started giving offering to the house spirits (thank you for your post about offerings). I'd like to make a bond with them and eventually work with them if they wish so, but I have no experience with working with spirits or other beings, really (I don't really count a few tarot readings I've made to communicate with spirit guides). I want to work with spirits and such, and I want to start with the house spirits.

Now, here are my questions:

Can I ask the house spirits how many there are of them? I thought about drawing a circle, taking a few dices and then look only at the dices which land in the circle. The thing is, I'm afraid that some passing-by spirit will manipulate the answer or that some spirits simply won't be there to answer (I guess it's relevant I live in a tenament house).

I'm kinda clumsy recently, especially in my house. Do you think it may be because of a spirit doing this for shits and giggles (I mean, it definitely looked hilarious when I slammed my head on a shelf by accident while making sure a bottle won't fall on the ground lol), or it's just my clumsy ass?

Will it be okay if I take oracle cards (to be specific, Green With Oracle) and ask spirits what offerings they would especially like? I'm not sure how many cards would be enough.

Good morning. Starting with house spirits is a perfectly nice goal. This is going to be a very long post about spirit bullying, warding and boundary setting, and developing realistic expectations for spirit work routines.

Perhaps I'm reading too much into things, but based on how these questions are phrased, I worry that you are not aware that you have the ability to control quite a lot of what spirits are allowed to do to you.

You think a spirit in your home may be bullying you. This is not an enemies-to-lovers romance; spirits hurting you for fun does not mean they actually want to be your friend. If spirits hurt you for fun, they are not your friends and they are not going to be your friends.

It is dangerous to hand-wave abusive behaviors of spirits with a "boys will be boys" attitude.

Imagine if I came over to your house, stuck my foot out, tripped you, and you slammed your head into the shelf. Would you still be going out of your way to ask me what meals I wanted, and cater to my needs?

I hope not. I hope you'd throw me out on my ass. And I hope your witchy friends would be furious with me on your behalf, and I hope y'all would get together brainstorming spells, protections, and hexes if I dare cast a shadow on your doorstep again.

Do I think it's likely a spirit is going out of their way to fuck with you? I dunno; irrelevant.

But if you think one or more spirits in your house are fucking with you, what's the plan? What are you planning to do to make them stop, and what are you going to do if they refuse to stop? What is the plan to regain your dignity in this situation? How do you intend to assert boundaries and protect yourself?

This goes hand-in-hand with troubleshooting. A very good way to find out if it's a spirit doing something shitty is to take magical actions which would normally cause a spirit of that type to stop doing shitty things, and then see what happens.

This can go in steps, like this:

The next time you trip, say, "if a spirit did that, I need you to know that's not acceptable. You should never try to trip me or physically interfere with me. If you did do that, you must never do it again. And if you try it again, there will be consequences."

Set magical house rules: "if you fuck with me, you can't stay. I reserve the right to evict you."

Evict: "let any spirit which has reached out their hand to harm me, who has influenced me so that I stumble or hurt myself, or who treats me with lack of respect, be removed from this place."

But I don't mean to paint things so black and white. Sometimes we are not able to get rid of spirits. People do get bound to spirits, in one fashion or another, who are both abusive and unable to be fully "removed" from their lives. But you don't just have to take it.

Learn how to cast protections. Learn wards. Learn how to cast bindings that restrict behavior or funnel energy into less harmful areas. Learn how to create safe spaces in your home that harmful spirits cannot enter, even if you are unable to completely banish them.

There is a lot of talk about how people have such-and-such selfish ideations when it comes to the spirits, and only wanting to form friendships with them because they can provide magical power, and so on. And this is a valid concern. On one hand, you've got to ask what you are giving back to these entities, and if you are treating them as people (nonhuman) who deserve to be treated as more than a utility.

On the other hand, you've got to ask yourself if you are being treated with just as much honor and respect, and if you are being treated as a person, and not just a utility where they submit dinner orders and then trip you on the way to the kitchen, and steal your phone and change your contact numbers.

Maybe a passing spirit will come fuck with your divination because he's an asshole. That is within the realm of possibility.

So what do you intend to do about it? You have a million and one options (or at least 3):

Cast a protection around your living space to stop random jerks from wandering in.

Cast a protection on your tools to stop them from being meddled with by uninvited parties.

Work divination within a circle or temporary shield to block interference in that moment.

In my opinion, spirit working diviners must never let themselves be clowned.

When it comes to your idea of tossing dice to count spirits, I can't directly comment: I have IIRC never tried to get a 'head count' like this from divination. But here are my thoughts:

Some spirits do not want to be seen, and may try to hide from this count until they feel they know you better.

It may be a safer bet to try for a range (like, zero to 3, 4 to 10, and more).

It is important to not conflate how many spirits there are with how many will want to talk to you or help you.

If your home is unprotected and there is nothing to stop spirits from coming and going, the number of spirits in your house may change on a day-to-day basis. Like spirits may literally come indoors to shelter during storms, and leave during a parade to see the fun, etc

Here is one idea to try and count the spirits in your home: make a variety of unique little spirit houses, and place them in different rooms (if you are able to), or different areas in your bedroom.

Ensure you also invite the house spirits to dwell in these spirit houses.

Then go around to each of them and see if they appear to be occupied, or not. If you make 5 houses and only 2 of them seem to have regular guests, you perhaps have your answer.

I think it would be fine if you wanted to use an oracle deck to ask the spirits what special offering they might like. I would draw 1 card.

I'm sorry this is so long. But I've got more to say.

And that is: specialized offerings that you discern through divination is shit I think should be reserved for like, your godspouse. For your familiar or spirits in your inner court, to celebrate holy days.

I can probably tell you what offerings your house spirits would like: milk, bread, booze, cigarettes, water, honey, any food including frozen and processed food, coffee and tea.

I do not think the "special offerings for everyone according to their taste" thing is super viable, especially if you stick with spirit work and end up working with more than 1 or 2 spirits.

What if your house has 3 spirits (perfectly normal), and over a little time each spirit indicates they want different special offerings? What if a spirit says they will only accept fresh basil? What if another indicates baked goods?

And what is your ideal offering schedule? Weekly, monthly?

It's my experience that the higher the bar you create for yourself to do spirit work, the more often you will not do spirit work you want to do.

If you set out now to create an expectation that you will deliver customized offerings to spirits based on their tastes, what about the month when you're not feeling well and can't go out of your way to buy or prepare special offerings?

I think it's nice to gain intel if you like, such as, 'I want to be your friend; this time around, what's something special I can get you?' but it's also good to be aware that some spirits will not have preferences. "I would like something nice and enjoyable, please ^-^/", that kind of thing.

It's important to put these kinds of things in perspective. If I moved into a new house and wanted to meet the neighbors, maybe I'd make them cookies. But I'm not going to their houses and asking them for their top desserts and then set myself up as a bakery. It's just, a lot. And honestly, fuck those neighbors if they get pissy that I didn't ask them what recipe they wanted me to bake.

Like it's a gift, it's a goodwill gesture between strangers, they can get over themselves.

So I would caution you against drawing like, 5 cards for specific food groups and then strictly limiting yourself to those. Maybe a card for inspiration, or getting to know them.

And I think during all of this, it's important to ask yourself that if these spirits are demanding, if they would not accept you or like you unless you bend over backwards for them, if they are fucking with your divination or hurting you, if you really want to be working with these guys at all.

[pink-princess-pussy-pop]

SPEAK NOW - Foolish One

Rafe Cameron x Reader Taylor Swift AU

My cards are on the table, yours are in your hand. Chances are, tonight, you've already got plans. And chances are, I will talk myself to sleep again.

Sofia's text kept you up all night. You had sent Rafe a text this morning and were still awaiting his reply.

Hi! What are you doing today? I need to talk to you.

You give me just enough attention to keep my hopes too high. Wishful thoughts forget to mention when something's really not right.

He had read the message 23 minutes ago and the waiting was making you sick. Did he know what Sofia has said to you? Had she told him not to talk to you? You had typed out several follow-ups but hadn't sent any of them, too afraid of overstepping.

And I will block out these voices of reason in my head. And the voices say, "You are not the exception. You will never learn your lesson."

Your nerves were getting the best of you, the thoughts in your head growing increasingly meaner.

Why in the world would he choose you over her? She's literally his girlfriend.

What if he knows you like him and doesn't want to speak to you anymore?

Do you really think he would leave her for you?

Foolish one. Stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love that ain't never gonna come. You will take the long way, you will take the long way down.

Deep down, you knew you would never be with Rafe. You just always were a hopeless romantic. You knew it was stupid to think he'd love you back but it was nice to dream, even if you broke your own heart along the way.

You know how to keep me waiting, I know how to act like I'm fine. Don't know what to call this situation, but I know I can't call you mine. And it's delicate, but I will do my best to seem bulletproof.

Rafe still hadn't replied the next day. You had a feeling he wasn't going to pick you up like usual so you asked your mom to take you.

"Why isn't Rafe getting you?"

Your acting skills pulled through the lie.

"He had to be early this week for football stuff."

When you got to school, you did your best to seem like everything was ok to your other friends. They thought it was weird you weren't walking in with Rafe but didn't say anything. Your only class with Rafe was your 5th period but it was after lunch. You took a deep breath before walking into the cafeteria, holding your lunch to your chest.

Rafe's eyes were on you the second you walked into the cafeteria. But you didn't glance at him once. He knew he was being a jerk.

'Cause when my head is on your shoulder, it starts thinking you'll come around, and maybe someday when we're older, this is something we'll laugh about over coffee every morning while you're watching the news.

As you sat with your friends, you thought about the weeks before Rafe had started talking to Sofia. There seemed to be some sort of more-than-friends vibe you were getting but you had been wrong in the end. You'd go get some drive-through junk food and eat it in the bed of his truck, the night ending with you falling asleep with your head in his lap. On other nights you'd watch a movie at Tannyhill or Rafe would come to eat dinner with your family. It felt so right, so domesticated.

But then the voices say, "You are not the exception. You will never learn your lesson."

Your eyes traveled to the table Rafe was at. He wasn't watching you anymore, eyes on Sofia, who was obviously flirting with Kelce. You rolled your eyes and shifted your eyes back to your friends.

Foolish one. Stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love that ain't never gonna come. You will take the long way, you will take the long way down. Foolish one. Stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love that ain't never gonna come. You will learn the hard way, instead of just walkin' out.

"Is everything ok with you and Rafe? I saw your mom drop you off today." Your best friend keeps her voice quiet.

"Yeah." You lie through your teeth. "I think Sofia was getting a little uncomfortable with us hanging out so much so I'm just giving them some space."

Now I'm slidin' down the wall with my head in my hands sayin', "How could I not see the signs?" Oh, you haven't written me or called, but goodbye screamin' in the silence and the voices in my head are tellin' me why.

You had been checking your phone non-stop throughout the day, just waiting to see if Rafe had texted you. But nothing. You knew you were just hurting yourself but you just couldn't stop yourself with Rafe.

"Cause you got her on your arm, and me in the wings. I'll get your longing glances, but she'll get your ring, and you will say you had the best of intentions. And maybe I will finally learn my lesson.

You look back at Rafe's table again, letting your gaze linger for a moment longer. Your breath catches in your throat as Rafe's eyes lock on yours. His smile falters. You surprise yourself by holding your ground, not blinking. Topper hits Rafe's arm to get his attention and he looks away.

Foolish one. The day is gonna come for your confessions of love. When all is said and done, he just wasn't the one.

You could laugh. Years of friendship down the drain for what? For a stereotypical high school mean girl who could care less about him? You rolled your eyes.

If Rafe was willing to move on from your thirteen years of friendship, so could you.

No, he just wasn't the one.

"Did you hear about the party this weekend?"

"Yes! I'm so excited, I've been needing a break."

"Y/N, are you gonna go?"

You knew the party was at Tannyhill, Rafe had told you about it weeks ago. Sarah was hosting it and Rafe was bound to be there.

"Sure. Why not?"

As lunch ended, you got a text.

Can I drive you home today?

You look back to Rafe's table, his eyes already on yours.

!!

[sahrii]

You’ll Catch My Coldˏˋ°•*⁀➷

contains: mitsuya being sick, thats really it….

requests: open

a/n: i had this uncompleted in my drafts so i finished writing it n here i am uploading it!!! i kinda (only kinda) like it tbh so i hope you guys like it as well, just a reminder that requests are open!!!! please enjoy reading it <33

____________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

It was 2pm at the moment, and I have been woken from my deep slumber that I promised myself I would get as a reward of my hard work during the academic year.

“Who the fuck wakes up at 2pm on the first day of summer vacation. And who the fuck even woke me up?” I ask myself as I rub my eyes to help clear my obscured vision.

My phone has been ringing for the past eternity, and it’s not shutting up.

I grab my phone to check who’s the asshole who’s been calling ever since the morning, only to find out that it’s my very dear boyfriend, mitsuya.

11 missed calls from taka <3

“oh shit, oh shit” I curse to myself as worry embraces me, spreading through my veins insidiously.

Did he die? Did something happen to him?

I ask myself these questions as I dial his number on my phone.

“pick up you idiot” i whisper to no one in particular.

“Luna, Mana, get the hell away from me.” I hear mitsuya on the other line cough up this sentence.

“Babe?” I ask

“y/n. Where the fu—hell have you been. I was starting to get worried, you idiot!” His voice, scratchy and full of cold, asked through the phone.

“Ahaaha…I have been…asleep…” I muttered shamefully and then added, “Are you okay though, you sound exhausted…and full of cold..”

“That’s the reason I ca—cough—ca—cough—” he stops to take a breath and continues “called. Luna and Mana are not leaving me alone and I dont want to spread my cold to them, the—cough—they’re trying to help me out which is pretty nice but I dont want them getting sick.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in a bit.” I say, getting up from my bed.

“I’ll get you some medicine on the way. Stay put, love you.” I add.

“Mhm, thank you—cough—Genuinely have n—cough—no idea what i’d do with—cough—without you, i love you so much.” he says in a weak, feeble voice.

“Oh shut it, I’m your girlfriend for a reason, dummy.” I replied.

“I’m—cough—I’m trying to be nice—cough—but anyway, b—cough—bye”

“Bye.” I giggle as I end the call. He’s so cute!

———————————————————————

I slowly open the door of Mitsuya’s house, expecting him to be asleep. I truly did not expect to hear yells and giggles coming out from both Mitsuya and his sisters, who are currently seated in the living room.

I tip toe to secretly steal a glance, only to be greeted by the scene of Luna sitting on top of mitsuya, who was laying on the couch, head on the couch’s armrest, and Mana standing beside that armrest, gawking at mitsuya straight in the eyes from above.

I couldn’t help but let out a giggle, which turned all the attention to me, and with that, both Luna and Mana ran straight up to me, hugging my lower torso.

“Y/n! You’re here!” one of the girls yelled in excitement, causing me to grin.

“Indeed I am! How do you girls think Mitsuya’s been feeling?” I ask, playing along with their ‘doctor’ game.

“Well—based on what I have seen, I think he has—uhhhh…a cough!” Luna says hesitantly as Mana nods.

I kneel down as I place the grocery bags I brought on the floor, trying to reach to their level, and say in a surprised manner “Oh, really?! Poor Mitsuya, he must he feeling awful, right? What do you guys recommend him to do?”

“Sleep!” Mana answers and Luna adds, “Yeah, I think he must rest well!”

“Exactly, now why don’t you girls go to your room while I make sure that Nee-san gets the sleep he needs so that we can all play together later?” I offer, excitingly, earning nods and ‘yeah, hurray!’ from one of them as they rush to their rooms.

I stand up again and approach Mitsuya, and Oh God. Exhaustion was painted all over his face, tired eyes begging to sleep and some messy hair.

“How are you feeling, Taka?” I ask softly.

“Take a guess, babe,” He responds sarcastically in a rough, scratched voice.

“Well, based on what your little doctors told me, not very well,” I joke as I bring my hand to his forehead, and as expected, he was burning up.

“Woah, what an absolute genius you are, babe” he coughs.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. I get that all the time, but anyway, do you wanna head to your room? I’ll make you some food before handing you your medicine and then you can head to sleep and I’ll take care of the girls for tonight,”

“Sounds good to me, I think my head is about to explode,” He winces as he tries to get up in a vain attempt.

“Take it easy, Taka, let me help you,”

And with that, I help him up and make sure he walks without stumbling and breaking a bone to his room. I grab some water and place it beside his nightstand.

“You can sleep while I make the food if you want, but it shouldn’t take long,” I mention as I lean in to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Yeah I think I’ll stay awake—b—cough—but you stay away from me- or else you—cough—you’ll catch my cold—“ He coughs again.

“Oh don’t be silly, of course I’ll catch your cold, but you’ll take care of me the next,” I grin as I begin making my way out of his room.

“I don’t know how I ended up being with you, but I’m not complaining,” he faintly mutters to himself, smiling softly at no one in particular.

He does realise that even if you make silly jokes sometimes, he’s indeed the luckiest man on earth to have you beside him.

____________________________________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

[therealslimshakespeare]

Dear John | Apologies II

Summary: Julie Jean responds to Major Egan’s letter of apology, summer 1943

Previous Lettter 💌

18+ for adult language, suggestive content

Almost entirely authored by my talented baby @stylespresleyhearted

Dear John,

It pains me that your letter reads both as an apology and like a goodbye. I sit here writing to you trying to figure out where in my response to you I went wrong. Perhaps the alcohol wore off and you woke up to find you had written to many other actresses and I wasn’t anything special. Maybe I was the only Hollywood starlet desperate enough to reply because your letter sparked a light in me, switched on something in my heart and in between my legs but to you it was just drunken ramblings because no girl at the bars snook off with you. It was a lonely night for you and I was a girl chosen and the night is over now and you’ve got a picture of me that I have entrusted to you and now you’re ready to move on.

“No one wants an eager girl, Julie Jean” that’s what my mother always says and I think the lesson has finally been learned. Do not feel you must apologize and regret any of your words, Major, I chose to snap and send the photo and I chose to respond to your letter. Like I said, it was different than the others and I thought (and hoped) you were different from the men Mother warned me against. And in many ways you are, I suppose, always will be to me. You’re honest to the point of no shame and I’ve told you how you make me feel fizzy all over from your words alone. But you’re also not so different from those other men because now you have a piece of me you are leaving me.

You told me you fought for our country but that you also fought to keep me safe. Did you mean that, Major Egan? I had never felt safer.

If it was the photo that has caused you to alter how you are with me then I am the one who must apologize. You spoke of giving me babies and of thinking of me in your bunk and taking my straw on missions with you because my lips had been on it and it seems I let all that get to my head and I got ahead of myself. As I signed my last letter Major, I am a vain little thing and so I have questions if my photo is the culprit: Did they not live up to your expectations? Were they perhaps not as perky as you hoped they would be without the artifice of support? Did you find my nipples too large? I have to know what it was Johnny, it’s cruel to keep me wondering like this. I stood in front of the mirror this morning and looked at them, trying to pinpoint where they let you down.

In a single letter your opinion came to be of the upmost importance to me.

In this line of business, everyone wants one thing or another and it was nice to speak to someone who wanted and requested nothing and found me beautiful for when I was the most myself. I had a blast on the war bond tour John, I kissed so many boys my lips bruised and my mother was livid and the studios said it was ruining my image but I was so happy. And then to come in contact with you, it felt like everything from that lovely tour had whittled down to you. Just all of it for you.

Only for us to come to this. It is my fault for placing any expectation on you, you placed none on me. If that first letter was you, truly you, then I needed nothing different.

But I wanted you. And maybe I needed the man who wrote to me the first night. There I got again. Need. Expectations. All the trust I put in your words from one letter. You must think me a looney and so desperate.

If this is to be goodbye, Major, I wish you only the best of things and for you to continue returning safely until you are able to come home. The girl who will receive your letters and your calls and gets to have you in her arms upon your return is one I envy but I wish nothing less than love and happiness and safety for you. And I must thank you for everything you helped me to feel with your letter. It was a first for me, and I don’t think I’d be wrong to assume I’ll never feel it again. Not in this life.

Sincerely,

Lana Tierney

p.s if the photograph has disappointed you so, feel free to return it.

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[cblgblog]

Hey. so that AU where Lilia Calderu is trying to ignore the world and do her thing in quiet in the early 2000s when her past and future self keep showing up to yell at her until she blinks and finds herself on the streets of Sokovia staring down two small recently orphaned and now homeless children, one of whom has the most terrifying magical aura about her. Or the Maximoff twins, raised by Lilia, and oh how they'd annoy the Avengers.

Oh my God, the chaos though. So much chaos.

Orphaned children who do not know who this random crazy woman is, and why should we go with you? Lilia who’s like, because I’m sick of talking to myself about you, that’s why. But also magics up some decent, warm clothes for them, some food. And hey, you’re welcome to stay in this Sokovian orphanage that looks like the most Dickensian, stereotypically bad orphanage I’ve ever seen, and I’ve lived a really long time.

Wanda and Pietro who think for awhile that Lilia must’ve been in some kind of explosion too. At least something that caused a head injury. Because they’ll be having a perfectly reasonable conversation—by Lilia standards—and then Lilia will just blurt out these random things that make no sense. They’re honestly kinda terrified she’s an escaped mental patient, especially when she starts going on about how Wanda’s a witch with all this untapped power.

“Like on Bewitched?” Because of course that’s where Wanda takes it.

And, mistake, because then there’s this 20 minute rant about how offensive and demeaning and stereotypical that show is, that the kids are just staring at wide-eyed, hoping Lilia interrupts herself with one of her random bits of gibberish. Alas, no dice that day, so they have to suffer her entire spiel about how terrible that show is, which just leaves Wanda deeply offended because shut up, she likes that show.

Pietro just, I don’t like it either, I told her it was stupid. Which gets him a “Good boy,” and a pat on the head from Lilia, not unlike what you’d give a dog.

Twins who think she’s absolutely lost it with this witch stuff, okay, okay, clearly Lilia has some weird ass hidden talents, but Wanda sure doesn’t. Until Lilia coaches Wanda into reading her mind, just a little bit, and oh, okay well, this is new. Wanda who immediately wants to learn more of that please, but no, nope, we’re starting out small, kiddo, you don’t need to be reading your brother’s mind.

Wanda asserts that there’s no trouble there, Pietro’s head is totally empty after all, and then Lilia’s refereeing a bickering match between 10-year-olds and just, sigh.

Lilia telling people that these are her poor, oh so tragically orphaned niece and nephew, and threatening to hex Pietro when he says grandchildren might be more convincing. She also totally uses them in her act, for cuteness and sympathy, oh how about a reading so I can feed my poor little orphan niece and nephews? Did I mention they were orphans?

Pietro grumbling about the unfairness of why Wanda gets cool witch powers and he doesn’t. They’re twins after all; shouldn’t he be a wizard or something? Wanda who lords her new skills over him at first, haha, look what I can do, then realizes that 1, it actually does make him feel bad, and 2—more importantly—he’s gonna be really boring to play with and unable to keep up with her if she doesn’t throw him some sort of bone.

Lilia comes down to breakfast one morning and suddenly Pietro has speedster powers, because of course he does, sigh. Well, that was nice of you, Wanda, sharing is caring, but also never do that again. Partly because it’s incredibly reckless and dangerous, mostly because it’ll now make my life even more complicated.

Lilia meeting up with a fellow witch for something, someone who clocks what Wanda is, or has the potential to be, and just, you have the most powerful magical being in the universe, someone who might be on track to destroy the world, you have this kid hanging out with you in your dumpy little shop shuffling tarot cards?

Lilia’s offense at that, I have a scared, orphaned child with me, who yeah might destroy the world, jury’s still out on that, but who is much, much more likely to do so if she’s running around with all this power and no training. Also, my shop is not dumpy, shut the fuck up.

Kids who are utterly thrilled when Tony Stark is missing and presumed dead, and look at Lilia with complete disgust when she has one of her walkabout moments and tells them Stark isn’t actually dead, he’s gonna come back and be a superhero and they’re gonna help save his life soonish. Twins just, no, absolutely not, thanks but no thanks, mom, we refuse, take away our allowance if you must but no.

And then stuff happens and they end up in New York where all these aliens are causing trouble and they wind up stopping Tony from having to fly into space with the nuke—he still makes the sacrifice play, he still tries to do the right thing, he just gets his play interrupted by a girl in a Hot Topic getup who’s really good at stopping missiles from going off, huh, who knew, where’d she learn that? Which stops Tony from having his Thanos visions and embarking on his descent into paranoia and ‘I must save the whole world by myself even though I literally just joined a team of really powerful co-workers who’s whole thing is helping each other save the world.’ Which ultimately stops the Civil War from going like it did, which in turn means the Avengers are whole and united when Thanos comes to Earth, and are able to stop him. Which stops the Snap, which stops Endgame, which means Tony doesn’t die.

So, Lilia is once again always right, much to the annoyance of the twins who really weren’t that interested in saving Tony’s life but eh, whatever, pluses and minuses to everything.

Also, Stephen Strange showing up at Lilia’s door at some point to discuss the twins because Lilia just, yeah, yeah, Sorcerer Supreme, whatever, such an ego, no, you’re not just whisking my kid off to your little health spa in Tibet, yeah, no, that’s not happening.  If you do, you're gonna have to take him with you, they're a package deal, yes even if he doesn't have magic.

Strange meeting Pietro and just, yeah, maybe I don't actually wanna do this after all, maybe we can discuss some kind of alternate arrangement for continuing her training.

[lvxybby]

"Im gonna be a daddy" Pre cult! Kai Anderson x pregnant reader!

Warnings:Pregnancy, cursing (ofc) mentions of sex. Change of POVs.

You had missed your period this month, it was odd but not very alarming.

Every time you and Kai had sex, after about 2-3 weeks you would take a test.

And this morning when your period tracking app said you would start your period, bit you didn't.

So you waited a few more days and checked again, but still nothing came.

So here you are now, holding the test in your hands.

I finally got finished with the 3rd test and set it on the counter. I didn't dare to look at it.

I washed my hands and left the small bathroom to make breakfast for me and Kai.

Winter was in college so she hasn't been here or talking to us really.

Unless it was for money.

I shook my head from the thought and focused on making a meal.

I cracked 4 eggs in a bowl and set the stove to a medium setting.

I took out some bread and bacon strips to prepare those as well.

And then I completely forgot about the tests.

The bacon seared in the stove top and the eggs quickly scrambled, and soon breakfast was finished.

I smiled at the nice breakfast before me as I grabbed the toast out of the toaster and spread some butter on the crispy slices.

I arranged everything to look decent before walking upstairs to get Kai.

I quietly walked into our shared room where he was rolled over on his side sound asleep. His brown hair covering his face.

I sat down on the bed next to him and gently shook him awake.

"Kai, baby I made breakfast" I quietly spoke to him.

He stretched his legs out before turning on his back. His eyes slowly opened.

"Hm? What time is it?" His voice groggy.

"Around 9:30, c'mon get up before your food gets cold." I said pulling on his arm.

"Ok... Lemme just take a piss first" he said sitting up."

"Mhm. I'll be downstairs" I said before getting up and leaving.

I sat at the table patiently waiting before hearing a loud,

"What the fuck is this?!"

I instantly stood up and sprinted to the stairs.

"Y/N what's this?!" I heard Kai shout.

I quickly ran up the stairs, wondering what had happened.

And suddenly it hit me.

"Oh fuck" I mumbled under my breath.

And by the way Kai sounded, it seemed the tests I forgot about showed something neither of us wanted to see.

I walked into the bathroom, Kai holding a test in his hand.

He seemed.

Confused? shocked? happy?

It was hard to read his expression.

I took the test out of his hand and looked at it myself.

The small piece of plastic displayed 2 very dark lines.

And the others did too.

Tears formed in my eyes, I dropped the test.

And broke down.

Tears flowed down my face as I sobbed.

"Hey it's ok, you're ok.." Kai said holding my waist.

I wrapped my arms around his skinny waist and cried in his shoulder.

"I-we... We aren't financially stable for a baby... I'm.. Im scared" I managed to get out through cries.

"No no no it's ok... We'll figure something out" Kai reassured me.

"And if we don't?!" I cried.

He pulled back and held my cheeks.

"Don't worry about that, cause we will."

I sniffled a bit before speaking again.

"Do you wanna keep it?" I mumbled

"What?! Why would you ask that?" He said, sounding offended.

"I'm sorry I was just making sure you wanted this too..." I mumbled

We both sat in silence, still processing what's happening.

"Do you think we'll be good parents?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Of course" Kai replied, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

"Are you still hungry" I asked him.

"Yeah" he said pulling off of me.

"I'm gonna be a daddy"

[rhiandoesfandom]

Ficlet: Anniversary

Notes: I am feeling really sad today so the only way I know how to express it is through fic right now lol.

So enjoy.

Timeline: Blitz and Stolas are dating, Blitz sleeps over at the Palace most nights.

Stolas wakes up, the sun shining through the sheer curtains of the palace bedroom. He turns and admires Blitz next to him, the light glinting off his horns. He rubs his forehead.

"Good morning my love", he coos, Blitz groaning and eyes fluttering open, "Huh? What're you doing up so early?"

"I just wanted to be up with you while you get ready for work", he says, giving him a peck on the cheek. Blitz gives a tired smile and yawns, wiping the crusts from his eyes.

"You're too cute", he takes Stolas's cheek in his hand and kisses him gently, then flops his face back into his pillow, "but I dun wanna get up".

Stolas chuckles, "You have responsibilities, darling" he explains softly, "IMP?" But Blitz waves his hand in the air, "Moxxie can handle it".

Stolas crosses his arms, "Is there something you want to talk about, Blitz? You're always excited about work".

"No..." But just then an alarm goes off on his phone and Blitz goes to smash it with his fist but Stolas grabs it, "Honestly, you need to stop breaking your phones! I'm getting tired of adding your contact every week", he says honestly and Blitz groans then tries to grab the phone as Stolas sees the alarm that went off before swiping it away.

Visit Mom's Grave

Blitz swipes the phone from him and puts it back on the side table, turning away from Stolas and pulling the blankets back over his head.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude", Stolas says, putting a hand on Blitz's back. Blitz sighs and covers his face with the duvet, mumbling into it.

"Mhmm myhh mmm mm", he says and Stolas cocks his head, "Uh...pardon?"

He lowers it a little, "Its not you it's that damn alarm".

"The reminder?" Stolas asks and Blitz whimpers, "Yeah".

"I am sorry, I didn't know your mother was deceased. I am sorry for your loss", he replies but Blitz has heard it all before from everyone around him. When they aren't blaming him for her death. Or he isn't blaming himself.

"It was a long time ago...", he pushes the topic away and squeezes his horse stuffy from Stolas, sighing into it. Stolas hesitates. He never knew his mother. He doesn't know if he can even relate to this. But..losing a parent he can. He felt like he lost Paimon, as horrible as a father as he was, he seemed to want nothing to do with him once he was 18 besides what he could do for the family.

"I...never knew my mother". He admits, holding his knees, making himself small again like when he was a child. Blitz turns his way and he realizes he'd been silently crying.

"Well, probably better cause once they're gone, there's this...emptiness like, like the only person who cared for you is gone. Because they are", his lip quivers and Stolas reaches out his arms and he crawls into his lap, leaning his head on his chest. Stolas moving his horns gently against his shoulder so they aren't in his face.

"I always tried to imagine what she looked like. I don't look much like my father. Him being a changeable being and all, I imagined her as like a female version of me, but she'd be witty and clever. And funny. She'd tell me stories that I ended up reading to myself, and she'd kiss me good night every night", he rubs Blitz's hand as his tears continue falling down onto his hand.

Then Blitz smiles softly, "She would do that. Kiss barb, I, and even Fizz good night every night. Even when we were teenagers". Stolas fights tears now. One escaping and falling down his face onto Blitz's forehead and he looks up.

"Fuck I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you sad too", he says and uses a claw to wipe Stolas's tears. Stolas chuckles, "No no, it's okay. It's just...nice to talk about her. Mothers. I always imagined her but, even imagined, she was a great comfort to me".

Blitz stayed silent for a moment, then sat up and takes Stolas's hand, "Wanna meet my mom?"

Stolas's eyes widen and he nods, "Of course".

They stop by a floral shop and pick out his mother's favorite flowers, Wrath marigolds because they're resilient, and he squeezes the bobble around his neck as they step through the portal in front of the IMP and Succubus cemetery. Hellborn cemeteries when they aren't for demons like Stolas are often not talked about or fussed about. So he was not surprised to find it's gate rusted and the headstones small. He was however, taken back by the sheer amount of dead imp and succubi in the grave yard.

He tries to stay silent to respect the dead as Blitz scans the headstones, searching for his mother's. Then he finds it. A smaller one with wings on the back and the same emblem on his bobble on the front.

"Here she is! Looks like Barb and Fizz have been here already", he gestures to the other pair of marigolds that are different colors than his. He sits in front of the grave and pats the ground next to him, signaling to Stolas. He hoots and sits next to Blitz.

"I feel eerie", Stolas admits and Blitz smiles, "That's just what graveyards feel like". Stolas nods and looks to the headstone, "Well...nice to meet you uh-" he starts and Blitz interrupts,

"Tilla. Was her name", he pulls out other supplies from his bag.

"What are those for?" Stolas asks, pointing to a jar of honey, and some biscuits. Blitz takes a biscuit and splits it in half, spreading the honey on it with the knife from his pocket.

"It's an Imp tradition to bring the dead their favorite snack. My mom loved honey on biscuits", he smiles fondly as he finishes spreading one half and sets it in front of the grave.

Stolas smiles, "That's so sweet". Blitz looks at the other one, "I usually eat this one but...do you wanna try it?"

Stolas puts his hand to his chest, "What? I- don't know this is your mother after all and-" but Blitz is already putting it straight in his beak, and he chews it to keep from choking on it.

"Mmmm!" He says, giving a thumbs up. Blitz chuckles, "Mom would give you five more if you told her they were good".

Stolas chuckles, "I think I'm content with just one".

They sit in silence again for a moment, Blitz's claw grazing over the marigolds set at the stone from Barb.

"Why don't you come here with your sister?" Stolas asks and Blitz turns, considering giving a cold shoulder but that's not how his mom would want him to act today.

"She...resents me for my mom's death. But I don't think I can talk about it right now, okay Stols?" He asks with pleading eyes and Stolas nods, "of course, I'll never push you into talking about something you aren't ready for".

"Thank you", he replies quietly and leans into his chest again, his feet reaching the headstone, "I miss her so much".

Stolas kisses him on the top of the head right on his tattoo, "I am sure she misses you".

Blitz looks around and hugs himself as Stolas hugs him, "Yeah".

[anicaaa67]

The battle we struggle together

TW: sh, sad bakugou, angst/comfort, reverse comfort *not proof read* lots of grammar mistakes

"damn it," Bakugou said Angrily in his mind. This is the third time he's gotten this problem wrong. And it was pissing him off almost to The Verge of Tears. he's been a lot more angry, depressed, and emotional the last few weeks, and he's not sure why. he's just been feeling like such a failure semi: not just because of school, but he relapsed a month ago and has been beating himself up over it. he had been so far free for 3 months, and it absolutely broke him to be in the same spot he fought so hard to get out of.  He sat on the floor, staring at the problem. He'd been trying to solve for over an hour. "I hate myself," He whispered, Audible defeat in his voice. throwing the homework onto his floor, he slumped deeper into the corner, head and hands wishing he had a gun to his head. "I hate myself," He mumbled over and over again until he reached into his bottom drawer and reached for his blade. gripping it tightly with a dead expression, he rolled his sleeves up and began to drag the blade quickly. But forcefully against his bare cold skin.  He could see the cuts he was making a new. He shouldn't be doing this yet. It was so addicting that he gave him relief. It gave him purpose. his brain was yelling him. Just one more, and it'll be done just 1 more. When he was finally done, He threw off his old longsheaf shirt. He was wearing which was now covered in blood. And he threw on a black skull hoodie to cover the new scars he had just made. He wishes he could be better. He wishes He wouldn't be like this. He wishes he wasn't so angry and overreactive. He wishes, He had never started cutting himself. He wishes that he was better at school. He wishes that he was someone else. He wishes he was dead. He finally got himself together composed. And calm like he'd always been shown to everyone else. He kept his composure, but yet was angry at the same time. he went downstairs into the dorm kitchens and tried to get something to eat. Even though he had been struggling with an eating disorder for the last few months, he thought that maybe eating something would make him feel less guilty about the things he'd been doing to his arms. he got downstairs, and nothing made him look good. Everything there made him sick this stomach. He couldn't even look inside the fridge any longer, so he shut it. He knew that if he tried to eat anything, he would end up throwing it up later that night. so he just sat there staring out into the window. Cause he swear he saw someone out there. He's probably just saying things he told himself. It was 5 in the morning. He just then realized that he was gonna have to get up in an hour for training. "Another night sleeplest." He told himself. "Bakugou?" You said concerned that why your friend was up at 3 in the morning. "Why are u awake?" you questioned. "Uh, I was checking g for food.." He shyly answered you, his cheeks blushing, but you couldn't tell because of the lack of light in the kitchen. "Well I'm worried about you, I went to get water and I heard you talking to yourself... some.. not so nice things about yourself" you stated waiting for what the blond would say. You were used to being angry loud and obnoxious. All the time, but somehow you would still caught feelings for him. as he waited for response. He put his head in his hands and slowly lowered himself onto the floor, almost like he was gonna pass out. "Bakugou?! whats wrong??" You said well quickly mealing down next time. Somehow by encouraging bakugo and The fact that it was 3 in the morning he agreed to let you in to his dorm so you guys could talk about him and what he was going through. granted bakugo didn't really wanna talk about anything he just wanted to be with you.

PART 2 BELOW

A/N: hey guys this is purely self indulgent and needed to write smth to get my head out from reality. hope this helps someone🤍 also I had to make it two parts cuz my story was too long😭

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

This is a personal post about boarding school experience and its later effects in life. It will be under keep reading so anyone can scroll over it if they don't want to read it. It's mostly for me and the need to express the thoughts I've been having and I need an outlet for that.

I've been reading once again about boarding school syndrome all day since this morning. I don't know why I do this to myself. Why I feel the need to go back to all that as if to check if all the damage is still there. Or like a way to pity myself and then to hate it for feeling sorry for myself once again. It's a cycle. I must have remembered something last night before falling asleep because I found myself today at 10 am reading a research paper on it and then looking up testimonials in reddit.

But the thing is, most of the research is done on English boarding schools and as much as the overall experience is similar, there are so many nuances in the differences that exist.

I vividly remember looking out the window and watching my parents get in the car and leave. It was Sunday evening and they had the car parked on a smaller street in downtown where I was left to stay. The next day was the first day of school and I was 11, starting 5th grade.

I read that in cases of children going to boarding school, a lot of them remember in detail the moment the separation took place. And it's true even if it's been almost 20 years since then. That's when my stomach issues began. Of course the cause was emotional stress, but that didn't stop from going to medical clinics weekly to do full check ups when any adult should have realized that I was just homesick. The year after, I began to feel nausea each Monday morning. I used to beg my parents to postpone my return as much as possible so I would only leave home on Monday and arrive an hour before classes would start. For five years I went to school in the afternoon. The nausea became a constant. I would complain on that day, hoping my mother would tell me that I don't have to go to school. But I couldn't understand at that time that my mother was emotionally unavailable and had no idea how to deal with her daughter's real needs.

But I kept going and as years went by, I got used to it and it felt easier by the time I finished high school. When I was already in college, I had forgotten half of my experience and I would gloss over what happened. I would act proud of how fast I had become independent, without needing any help, as if that was a good thing.

Of course that at some point I slowly started to realize that not everything went that well, but either way, that perhaps it was worth the sacrifice if I manage to do something well professionally. Eight years of boarding school meant sacrifices and financial investment. For me to go to the most prestigious middle school (I had to take an English exam for 5th grade, that was unheard of at that time in any other school!), then to the most prestigious high school to receive the best grades which would help to get into the most prestigious university so I can study exactly what I want because by then I found my passion. And I was encouraged. So I worked for it for more than a decade because all the pain had to have been worth it. Yes, parts of life sucks, but perhaps a uni position while I teach and research would compensate for it. But it never did and that entire plan fell to pieces because life doesn't work how I wanted to.

So was all that worth it in the end? Absolutely not.

For years I would think and say that I never suffered bullying in school because my colleagues were nice and for the most part, I had nice experiences. And that's still true. While at the same time forgetting that I also had that other life in boarding school where 17-18 year girls found abuse a form of entertainment.

Bullying is such a common occurence but it gets worse in boarding school because you can't get to any space that feels safe. You can't get home to your own room and to your own parents who might notice something and intervene. In boarding school you have to sleep in the same room and next to the same bed as your abusers. You take showers next to them, hoping that nothing happens. It's living in constant fear.

All my emotional mechanisms have developed during those years, especially between the ages of 11-13. I quickly learned to avoid any type of conflict because that would mess up whatever aparent peace that existed from time to time. I learned that speaking up and telling the adults responsible meant that I was in more danger.

As adults, those who went through the boarding school experience have trouble maintaining relationships. We become self sufficient because we had to. There was no help so we learned to take care of ourselves. Consequently, we don't need other people, especially if we know they will eventually abandon us. Of course attempts are made because it's in our nature. I've lost friendships because rather than making myself heard and to be an active participant in a relationship, I distanced myself. It's easier than to speak because there's a risk that the other person would certainly decide to break the friendship. Avoid conflict at all costs, even it rots everything from the inside. I'm still actively doing this.

When I told my therapist about these experiences (which I don't think I'll talk about in detail here), she used the word trauma. To this day, I have a hard time accepting it. Because deep down I still don't believe that my experience was that bad to be labeled that way. It's not real trauma if nothing really actually "bad" happens.

It's only bad enough that it infiltrated and influenced all aspects of my entire life. From personal relationships to professional. The latter I used to think it was independent and untouchable of all the things I had going on personally. But of course to realize as an adult that the need for perfection, the impostor syndrome, all are a result of never feeling good enough which stems from the initial abandonment.

I find it hard to accept that some decisions taken 20 years ago without me having any real say in it (I was asked and I said yes because my parents know best) and the consequent experiences that I had to go through have negatively influenced my entire life. For many years I never looked at aspects of my life, thinking that something is not well and should be investigated. I was busy in my 20s with other thoughts without realizing the root cause of why I was doing some things. But by the time that decade was over, it's like everything is crashing down. Piece by piece. Every single aspect of my life had been fucked by that thing my therapist calls trauma.