#just random thoughts and musings tbh

[steamworksfairy]

Ya know, I think my favorite thing about KitTy is the angst. The gut-wrenching longing, the fact Ty's flower card says 'I have loved you and you haven't known it' and Kit's says 'Am I forgotten?' How in SoBH Ty asked Kit when he'd forgive him, and Kit said,"I don't know." And then Ty followed that up with,"But not now?"

It was the 'but not now' that broke me. I can’t get that moment out of my head. I'm a little scared to reread QoAaD now because the moment Kit gets his heart broken is gonna make me sob 😭

Of course, I say all this before having reread LoS. So their angst is still at the forefront of my mind.

[ukusreticence]

tfw you have ideas in your noggin but can't properly convey them

ignore the yellowish doodles as it was just kinda brainstorming but the "fractures" thing and loose concept of the more concrete version is kinda what i really wanted to get out

exploring ideas on like, ig how to interpret God (for HH purposes)? dunno my brain kept thinking of The Stranger from Slay The Princess.

in a way of, i cant think of one idea of how to interpret them so fuck it its all of them

also kinda had the thought process of, well i still see them as a void being and its kinda funny imagining that if side b is forced to obey the whole equilibrium between "good" and "bad", then would be funny if God had to in a way as well but creates other beings (the angels) to do it for them so it just casually bypasses that

which is also really funny since the concept of good and bad likely came from them in the first place since its not like the void literally had anything like that beforehand

idk loose random brain rot brainstorming imma probably not come back to this concept again

[princekirijo]

I do really want to talk more about my OCs and stuff more consistently because I think I'm at the point now where it's like "this is my blog and if people get annoyed by it they'll just unfollow so go wild" but the problem now is I just. Don't know what to say 💀 like what do people want to know 💀

[selfcarecap]

MUSE [L.H.]

Logan Howlett x reader

summary: Logan would never admit it to anyone, but over the course of his long life he has attempted to draw maybe once or twice. He hasn’t done it in years, maybe even decades, but he’s struck by inspiration when he meets you. Of course, no one can know that Wolverine draws, so he does it in the dead of night, sliding anonymous envelopes with the finished drawings of you under your door. When he sees how much you love them, he wonders if you could also love the person behind them. 

warnings: smut 18+ but with an actual plot for once (brief m masturbation, oral f and m rec, unprotected piv sex, kind of accidental (but consensual obv) facial; pet names: bub, baby, good girl, princess), soft!Logan but he won’t admit it, also soft!reader, fluff (although the summary makes it sounds a bit more dramatic than it is tbh), implication that reader has curly hair, implied mutant/X-men!reader, (obviously the pic doesn’t represent the envelopes Logan uses lol he’s not doing all that)

word count: 7.3k

also i feel the need to say something about the fact that it’s Hugh Jackman’s birthday today lol so uh thanks for being huge jacked man and for giving us our Logan yay <3 | gorgeous divider by @plutism

It’s everything Logan is the opposite of – he would never tell a soul – but over the course of his long life, Logan has attempted to draw maybe once or twice. It’s not really him, but he did have a phase or two.

When he meets you, he hasn’t even thought of picking up a pencil in years. Ever since you’ve been at the mansion though, Logan’s fingertips twitch with the urge to start sketching your features every time he’s with you. It gets hard to ignore after a few days.

He waits until he’s known you a few weeks, there’s no way in hell he’d ask if he could draw you. He’d probably embarrass you by asking, and embarrass himself by admitting he’s into fucking art. That’s not him. 

Except, well, sometimes it is, when he’s inspired. And you’re nothing if not inspiring. 

He gives in to the urge to get out pencil and paper again, waiting until everyone else has gone to sleep. The first few drawings are shit, he feels like they’re almost an insult to you. It’s not that he’s accidentally drawing you ugly, it just doesn’t look like you. So he practises. 

Logan Howlett sits down at night to practise drawing. 

He picks out a few other things to draw then, to ease the pressure that comes with drawing the woman he… is friends with. Yeah, you’re a friend. And he totally knows that you’d never go for someone as rugged as him, that’s for sure. You deserve much more. So much more. 

But after a few nights he feels more confident in his drawing skills again, but still, as much as he can picture you in his mind – he can do that absolutely perfectly – he’s not too sure he could really draw you accurately.

So he gets Rogue to show him how goddamn fucking Instagram works so that he can look at some of your pictures and use them as a model. 

He doesn’t know what you’re doing to him; you’ve got him using social media.

He can’t believe it, but the first time he seriously attempts to draw you, it’s perfect. It’s a small drawing, not even as big as his palm, capturing your gorgeous face. He thinks of adding another few lines to your eyebrows, or to your hair or another small one to the outline of your lips, but he doesn’t want to mess with it. 

Logan hates how drawing makes him overthink, but he loves how it feels to create something other than violence with his hands for once – something that may even be the opposite. 

He hides the drawing in between the pages of a book, and hides the book under a pile of random clutter on his desk that not even he would normally spare a glance at. But when he lies down to go to sleep, he gets all the stuff out again and gets out the drawing. He wants to see it again. And he can’t leave it there anyway, what if the pressure from all the items on top of it smudges it? 

But he doesn’t know what else to do with it. He can’t really have a drawing of you sitting in his room. What if someone sees? Then what is he gonna do with it instead? 

He finally lets himself think the thought that’s politely been waiting to be allowed into his brain from the moment he decided he might take up drawing again. 

He could give it to you. 

Logan knows his drawing isn’t objectively a masterpiece, but if he’s proud of it he has to acknowledge that that probably means it’s at least decent. And you’re definitely the type of person to appreciate something like this. It’s weird admitting to himself that he’s even proud of what he’s drawn; he’s done so much in this world, who cares about a little drawing? 

The only thing is that Logan isn’t sure if he’s ready for anyone to see this side of him. To see the side that has him staying up until 3AM to finely trace the lines of someone’s eyelashes and cheekbones and lips, the side that makes him feel calm inside. 

He knows it’s stupid to hide but he just can’t. He decides he’ll leave the drawing in your room in an envelope, maybe a pink one to show you it’s not a creepy threat but meant as a sign of adoration, from someone who couldn’t resist but try to recreate your beauty. He won’t write his name on it, he just wants you to have it. 

Sappy motherfucker. 

He puts the small drawing back into the book and carefully pushes it between his mattress and the bedframe to protect it during the night. God, who even is he – protecting a tiny piece of paper? He groans at himself as he turns around to go to sleep. 

He dreams of making a thousand drawings of you, with you as his live model. His muse. 

You’re his girlfriend in his dream, he thinks. 

He’s sitting in a chair in your room, drawing you as you tell him about your day. You’re lying on your bed on your tummy, elbows propped up to support your head. You’re gently kicking your feet in the air behind you, wearing nothing but a t-shirt of Logan’s, some silly graphic socks, panties with little cherries on them, and a bright, bashful smile as Logan attempts to capture your glowing features in a sketch block he’s dedicated to drawings of you. 

He wakes up with morning wood. 

Logan is no stranger to jerking off with you on his mind, so he spits in his hand and slips it beneath his boxers, stroking himself as he thinks of you. He imagines you on top of him as he jerks his cock, imagines you under him, or with your legs around his head, or you between his knees on the floor. He cums quickly and hard, leaving his boxers wet and sticky.

He goes for a run after he’s dealt with it and picks up an envelope on his way. He’s doubting himself but he knows he has to just do it. He’d doubt himself even more if he pussied out – a grown man who can’t even slide an envelope under someone’s door. 

So Logan mans up and, like an idiot, kisses the fucking drawing before he puts it into the envelope. He licks the edges of it to close it and writes your name in the most anonymous handwriting he can muster and adds a little heart. 

It’s soo stupid. 

He makes sure no one is anywhere near your bedroom, walks up to your door, and slides the envelope underneath. Except he didn’t check if you were in your room. As soon as the envelope disappears beneath your door, he hears a short creak from your bed and your soft footsteps. 

He hears the small and adorable noise of curiosity you let out – a confused hm? – and then he quickly and quietly makes his way down the hallway. He hears your voice about ten seconds later, an intrigued hello? as you open the door, but you don’t investigate further, closing the door behind you. 

Logan’s heart is beating so fast. He’s never doing this shit again. 

He’s antsy all day, waiting for some type of reaction from you. Except you don’t know that the drawing is from him so he’s probably not even getting one, and he can’t conspicuously come to your room the same day you receive an anonymous drawing of yourself. 

It’s also when the insecurity settles in. Maybe he should have added a few more lines or started the entire drawing anew. Who does he think he is pretending to be an artist? 

He shakes those thoughts off as he starts training with the punching bag in the gym. It’s not something that he necessarily needs to train, but it gets rid of some of that pointless energy. This isn’t him, worried about some lines he drew on a piece of paper – a scrap of a paper, really. Who cares about something like that? Certainly not him. 

He sleeps dreamlessly and wakes up the next day disappointed that he didn’t get to dream about being your boyfriend again. God, what are you doing to him? Making him think about being boyfriend and girlfriend. He’s pathetic. You’re a friend and nothing more, and that’s fine. You probably don’t like him like that and he can deal with that.

-

He’s not even thinking of the drawing anymore, truly, when he walks into the kitchen the next morning. It only comes to mind when he sees you, alone in the kitchen, leaning over the counter to scroll on your phone, your weird green coffee (“it’s Matcha, Logan”) next to you as you stir it mindlessly with a metal straw. 

“Hi,” you look up with one of those sweet smiles of yours, but redirect your attention to your phone. 

At least you don’t immediately say something like hey, you know that drawing you slid under my door? It was so ugly I threw it away. Since when do you even draw? 

Not that he was worried you would or anything. He hasn’t been thinking about it. Obviously. Why would he? And he knows you would never expect that it’s him; that’s the only reason he did it. He never would have given you the drawing if he thought you could have even the slightest inkling that Logan would be someone who draws. But he still wants to know what you think of it. 

“You want some toast too?” You ask, putting your phone down and turning to get some bread. He sits down at the other side of the kitchen counter and as his eyes flicker to your green drink (he still doesn’t get it), he sees it. 

“Is that–��� my drawing, he almost said, “What is that?” He pretends to be confused, drawing his eyebrows together, trying his best to look inquisitive, “No toast by the way, thanks.” 

You have one of those clear phone cases, filled with a bunch of tiny pictures and stickers (and is that your credit card?). But wedged in front of all of those is Logan’s drawing. 

“Did you draw it?” He asks. 

You turn around, giggling, “No, I don’t draw. And anyway, I wouldn’t be drawing pictures of myself. I got it in an envelope under my door yesterday, photocopied it because I was scared it would bend in my phone case. I don’t know who drew it.” 

“Secret admirer?” 

Smiling, you say, “I don’t know. I won’t get my hopes up. But the person must definitely be fond of me to draw me like that.” 

“Like what?” He asks, unsure if he’s about to be offended. 

“I don’t know, just, so beautiful. I’m not saying I’m not pretty or anything, but this looks… I don’t look like that. I wish I did. I can’t believe someone actually sees me like that. It’s stupid but I….” You trail off and, conveniently, the toast is done at the same time and you move on to that. 

But Logan won’t let you, “What’s stupid?” 

You turn towards him with a shy smile, “I’m embarrassed.”

Logan stays silent. He can’t seem too pushy and draw attention to himself, but his silence makes you confess.

“I cried when I first saw it yesterday. It’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever gotten. And it’s the nicest compliment I’ve ever received, for someone to perceive me in such an artistic way.” 

Logan makes a noise of satisfaction and smiles, asking you to pass your phone so he can look at it more – pretending it’s his first time seeing it. If you think that way about it, maybe the three more lines he was going to add aren’t that important after all. 

The problem is that it makes him want to draw more, his stupid heart melting at your reaction to something he made– no, created. 

-

After a week, he figures he has to give in. Drawing another picture of you is on his mind twenty-four seven. 

It doesn’t help that he still catches you staring at the copy of it in your phone case lovingly more than once a day and you’ve put the original drawing in a special little frame on your nightstand. He thinks he’s sappy for drawing it but he doesn’t think the same of you for enjoying the drawing. 

This is for you. It’s not about him. He’s not an artist or anything like that, he’s just doing something kind for someone he cares about (which is honestly sappy enough but he tries to ignore that). He’s usually more of a silent carer but maybe that’s why he likes this. He’s not making it a grand gesture, not making it a thing that he’s the one drawing for you. It’s just for you to enjoy. 

He’ll just make this second drawing and silently put it in your room, and he’s the last person you’ll suspect. 

But of course now that he knows it means something to you, he can’t get anything right. He draws your hair too curly, then not curly enough. He draws your nose too big, then too small. Your eyes end up crooked. He can’t erase too much because it’ll look sloppy, so even the drawing he gets almost perfect, he ruins with a few final additions at the end. 

It takes him an entire month for the next drawing, and it feels more like him that it’s been making him so angry that he couldn’t get it right at first. Maybe he had the wrong picture of artists. They’re always talking about pain, aren’t they, and that’s what he experiences too (over a drawing. Who is he?). 

He takes another few days to keep track of your routine, to monitor when you’ll be in your room. He can’t have it be as close as last time. 

He ends up doing it in the evening. There’s a time after dinner when most of the team stays together to watch tv, just talk, or play some games. It’s normal for some of you to wander off, come back or stick around a bit longer. It won’t be suspicious if he leaves for a few minutes and comes back.

Logan wants nothing more than to follow you when you say that you’re going to your room for the night; he wants to see your reaction. But he can’t. All he can do is go up to his own bedroom fifteen minutes later, lingering in the hallway longer than he needs to.

Just as he’s about to give up and go to sleep, you walk down the hallway, coming back from the bathroom.

“Logan!” you call all excitedly when you see him, and his heart skips a beat. Do you know the drawing is from him? 

“Look,” you take his arm and pull him to your room, “I got another drawing!”

He breathes out in relief; you don’t know it’s from him. He smiles when you hold up the drawing, already framed.

“Were you expecting to get another drawing?” he teases.

“Noo, but the frames came in a pack of two. Isn’t it gorgeous?”

Logan looks at how your eyes sparkle, how proudly you’re showing him this drawing. All the work he put into it was definitely worth it. It’s another picture of your face, this time from a new angle, and with your hair styled differently, curls coiled another way from last time.

Logan clears his throat, remembering to keep up his act. “It looks good.”

“Good?” you take the frame from his hands defensively, “It’s beautiful.”

He chuckles, “Sorry, I don’t know much about this type of thing. It is beautiful though.” He’s looking at you instead of his drawing.

“It is. And you don’t have to know much about art or drawing to see how pretty this is. I still can’t believe someone would take the time to make these for me.”

Logan remains silent instead of saying what he wants to tell you. Of course he would take that time for you – and you don’t even know how much time it really took him. If there’s someone who’s worth it, it’s you.

Seeing your pleased smile at something he made for you, he decides he’s never going to stop drawing you.

-

He’s on a roll for some time. He’s better at drawing again now that he’s getting in practice, and he makes five drawings of you within the next weeks. Logan watches the collection of them on your nightstand grow fuller, along with your smile that somehow gets bigger every time you tell him about a new drawing.

It’s a wonder you haven’t caught on yet, but you don’t seem particularly interested in snooping around to find out who it is. You respect the person’s privacy, but you’ve confessed to him that you’d still love to know. 

“I won’t try to find out who it is. I won’t push it if they don’t want me to know… but, I mean, anyone would want to know, wouldn’t they?”

You’ve adopted the nickname of ‘secret admirer’ for this mysterious ‘they’, after Logan used the term about ten times. You were reluctant at first, because the person isn’t calling themself a secret admirer – you’d just be putting words in their mouth. But after seeing how much more beautiful the drawings get each time, you’ve accepted and admitted that, okay, yes, the person must be an admirer.

Your secret admirer Logan is particularly proud of his latest drawing, excited to bring it up to your room tonight. 

But this time he’s sloppy. He’s stayed for a few post-dinner card games with the team, and it’s risky, because you’ve been saying that it’s your last game for the last two rounds. But he also knows that you always say that, and never mean it.

Logan gets up to leave, and he hears Scott convincing you to play just one more round.

It’s stupid, really, risking it like that. Even if he’s gone from your room in time before you come upstairs, you could easily guess that it’s Logan. He’s the first one leaving the round tonight, so your first assumption could be that it was him.

Maybe subconsciously he wants to get caught. He’s seen how you light up at every drawing, and no matter how much you respect your admirer’s anonymity, of course you want to know who’s dedicating so much time and work to drawings of you. Of course it’s crossed your mind that the person isn’t just doing this because they’re a good friend. They’re drawing your face because they think it’s beyond beautiful.

Logan doesn’t really know why he hasn’t told you yet that he likes you. He’s good at flirting, and he’s attractive – he’s not blind. But with you it’s different, there’s a bigger risk, for the both of you. The older he gets, the harder it is to open up to yet another person. You’re friends, and you talk about personal things, but confessing that he’s in love with you is different.

Not to mention this stupid recurring dream he keeps having, in which you find out it’s Logan who’s been drawing you, and suddenly your opinion of the drawings changes. You don’t like him back like that, and suddenly the drawings feel creepy if you think about him staying up late drawing your face.

He rolls his eyes at himself and gets the thought out of his head, taking the small envelope out of the back pocket of his jeans, smoothing his hand over it. He looks around, making sure no one sees him.

Logan bends down to slide the envelope under your door as usual, but one of the corners of the paper catches against the wall, and he quickly opens it to check the drawing isn’t damaged. His heart is beating so fast, he feels stupid. 

He can hear footsteps, still far away, but he can hear them. Logan messily licks the edges of the envelope to close it back up, but it’s not sticking. He can’t decide between shoving it under the door like this or leaving now and bringing it back the next day. He can feel his heart hammering against his ribcage now.

Then he hears it. He miscalculated how far the footsteps were.

“Logan?”

He turns around slowly, and it feels like the world has frozen.

You come closer, looking at him and then at the letter that he must’ve dropped. It hasn’t made it under your door yet.

He says something before you can, “I’m delivering for someone else.”

“Who?” you ask, bending down to pick up the envelope. If he wasn’t petrified, he’d enjoy the view of you bent over in front of him.

He breathes. He can’t have anyone taking credit for his work, for his art (you called it that recently, he would never). But his heart is beating so fast he doesn’t know what the fuck to do or say. 

This is exactly why he never wanted to do any of this. He’s making a fool out of himself and that doesn’t usually happen, especially not over a piece of paper. Logan is confident, cocky even, he can admit that, and has no idea how to deal with things like being nervous; he never has to. This really isn’t him.

You don’t wait for an answer and look at the envelope. You open it so carefully, gently taking the drawing out with your fingertips. You’re treating it with so much care he immediately feels better. Again, this isn’t for him, it’s for you. (Well, it’s for him too but it’ll take him a while to admit that). 

He’s drawn your smile this time. You were happy in most of the drawings before, but he focussed more on the eyes, and your lips only ever tugged up in a slight smile. 

This one is a full-toothed grin, mid-laugh. 

You two were drinking last weekend. He barely felt it but your tipsy, giggly mood was contagious. He couldn’t imagine himself feeling any other way but blissful when you’re happy around him. 

It started when Logan made a casual comment about something silly Scott was wearing that night, and he had you giggling. He wanted to immediately hear that angelic sound again, of course, and so he gave you every joke about your shared friends he could think of – all light-hearted, but he was still glad you two were alone. 

It was the stupidest joke of all that made you really laugh, some dumb comparison between Xavier and Caillou. You probably wouldn’t even giggle at it anymore now, but in the moment it was so funny you almost spat out your drink from the deep belly laugh he drew from you, holding onto his bicep so you wouldn’t fall over as tears formed in your eyes from how hard you were laughing. He wanted to engrave the image on his soul. At least he got your smile on paper.

You look up at him now, eyes filled with tears. 

“You drew this?” you ask.

He nods softly. He can’t say it but he hopes the drawings convey how in love with you he is. 

Suddenly, Logan feels like his heart has stopped beating.

You’re kissing him. 

You’ve leaped up, wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, and now your lips are on his. 

He feels your mouth falter, probably because he’s being a fucking idiot and not kissing you back. Logan places his hands on your waist to pull you further towards him. Then his brain finally catches up and he can do what he’s wanted to for so long. 

He takes your chin with two fingers and angles you so you can kiss him easier. He closes his eyes and revels in the feeling of your soft, warm lips against him. You’re soft and warm all over. Your top has slipped up over his fingertips at your sides, and he slides his hands further around your back to support you against him even better. 

Logan’s tongue pushes at your lower lip, and you let out the sexiest, tiny moan of surprise as you part your lips for him, granting him access. 

His tongue touches the tip of yours and from then on your cravings intensify. You feel your way over his muscular shoulders, his big biceps and over the hard planes of his chest. When you’ve had a good feel there, your hands grip his shirt in desperation and Logan gets even hungrier for you. He gently bites at your lower lip, but then you shriek into his mouth and squirm out of his grasp. He opens his eyes wide. 

You grip Logan’s forearm for support when you bend down in a panic, picking up the drawing you just dropped. You let out a big breath of relief when you see it hasn’t been damaged. 

“You made me drop it!” You slap a hand to his chest; it doesn’t actually hurt and it’s not meant to, but it leaves a pleasant tingle behind instead. 

“I didn’t do anything”, Logan laughs, and you shake your head at him with a smile.

You take him into your room where you make him sit on the bed while you stare at the new drawing in awe. “I didn’t know you draw”, you say without taking your eyes off it.

“No one else knows.”

You pretend to zip your lips, smiling, “It’s our secret.” Logan can tell that you like that. He likes it too. It feels much better to share a secret with you than to be keeping one from you.

“I’ll only draw for you anyway, so there’s no point in telling anyone else.”

“You’re really good. I love the drawings.”

Logan gives a satisfied hum at your words, “You inspired me. Can’t have you walking around all pretty and not expect me to try and recreate it.”

You straddle Logan and hover over his lap to hug him, “They’re the best thing anyone's ever given to me. Do I really look like that?” You say the last question more quietly, and Logan wraps his arms around your sides, careful not to bump your hand that’s still holding the drawing.

“You’re more gorgeous than anything I could ever capture, but I think it comes close. I didn’t change anything about you to make you more beautiful. I couldn’t if I tried. I just tried to draw you as accurately as possible, that’s why it’s so beautiful.”

“I really love it,” you say again, happily staring at the details of the drawing. Hearing you say the word love so much tempts Logan, but he doesn’t want to move too fast. He doesn’t want to overwhelm you. He does, however, want to kiss you again.

Logan carefully takes the framed drawing and puts it on your nightstand. You push your mouth against his before he can initiate the kiss, and he grins against your lips.

You don’t know how to put your feelings into words, so you’re kissing him instead. He pulls you down so that you’re not hovering over but sitting on his lap, and the mood immediately shifts to something different. Logan doesn’t want to overwhelm you, but if you’re ready then he’ll take anything he can get.

Your chest is pressed against Logan’s, and you can feel the rise and fall of his chest when he breathes. You may or may not be pressing your boobs against his body on purpose.

“God, baby, I’ve waited so long for this,” he says, already breathless, as his hands trail down your back, leaving goosebumps behind.

“You’ve waited long?” you raise your eyebrows, grinning, “I’ve wanted to fuck you since the day I met you.”

You see the look in Logan’s eyes changing as he bites his lip, “Who says I didn’t want the same?”

You giggle, “Why did it take us so long?”

Logan chuckles, readjusting you so that you’re even closer to him, “I was too busy to actually talk to you, just been starin’ at you so I could draw you.” His cheeks have the faintest red tint, and you kiss them, hugging him.

You whisper into his ear, “Then it was worth the wait. And anyway, it’s not talking that I’m interested in right now.”

He pulls you back to look into your eyes, then at your lips. “Where do you want me?” he asks. You giggle slightly helplessly; you weren’t entirely prepared to have a man like Logan at your mercy like this tonight.

“You can do whatever you want,” you say softly, kissing him.

Logan’s lips are hungry against yours, strings of spit falling between you two, but he pauses the kiss to lie you on your back. “Wanna eat you out,” he husks, “Been dying to know what you taste like forever, bub. Can I?” He reaches for the hem of your top, and you nod so that he can pull it off you, admiring what’s underneath. 

“Sometimes I make myself cum imagining that I’m going down on you,” you confess somewhat shyly, but you figure he’s been so vulnerable for you that you can share a secret too.

Logan smirks, and pulls off his shirt, “Maybe we can make your dream come true then.”

You move to sit up, but he insists on eating you out first. You both take off all your clothes, staring at each other with huge smiles on your faces for a few moments. You’ve never seen Logan this happy.

“Look at you, baby. So pretty,” he leans down to kiss your lips, then down your neck, all the way to your legs. He spreads them, lying down between them as he all but drools at the sight of your wet pussy.

You get nervous all of a sudden. “It’s been a while,” you tell him. He looks up, taking your hand, enveloping it completely in his much bigger one.

“You sure about this? We can wait,” he gently kisses your knuckles, and a warmth spreads in your chest, slowing your heartbeat down a little.

“I’m sure,” you nod, and Logan comes up again to kiss you. The head of his hard cock catches against the space above your clit, and you both look down between your bodies. When Logan looks back up at you, his eyes are desperately begging you. You place your hand on his head, threading your fingers through his hair as he moves down your body.

“Such a pretty fucking pussy,” he mumbles into your thigh, kissing you there. You giggle, getting comfortable, your hand never leaving his hair.

Logan starts eating you out, his tongue gentle but determined against your clit.

“Taste so good, baby. Even better than I imagined.” You hum at Logan’s words, already feeling yourself come undone with his mouth on your wet pussy.

You sink further into the mattress when he starts sucking on your clit, licking into your pussy like a man starved every few moments, and your thighs squeeze around Logan’s head, and it’s even better than in his fantasies.

“Feels really good,” you tell him, pulling on his hair to stop yourself from moving too much, and Logan moans against your skin. Hearing your words motivates him even more, and he pushes two fingers into your wet pussy. He curls his fingers, rubbing up against that spot that makes you see stars.

Your back arches as you cum, Logan’s lips wrapped around your clit as your legs push harder against his head, and all he does is moan, revelling in the feeling.

Logan doesn’t stop licking your pussy until you’re tugging his head away by his hair, and he comes up for air with a grin on his face. You smile back, pulling him up to kiss him. You give yourself only a few seconds of recovery time before you make him sit down. You know you’d never have enough strength to actually make him get into a different position, but he lets you.

You push him onto his back, getting between his legs. You’re blinking up at him all prettily when you ask, “Can I suck your dick? Please?”

Logan huffs to himself because he can’t believe how hot you are, can’t believe that this is really finally happening. He tells you yes – he has no more words to describe how badly he wants this – and he watches you wrap your pretty lips around his cock.

It’s hard to grasp that it’s really you doing this right now – the woman he’s been into for so long. His cock is in your mouth and you look so gorgeous with spit running down from your lips, and all he can think of is all the dirty drawings he can now make of you, if you’ll let him.

He closes his eyes when you take him deeper, enveloping him with your warm, wet mouth. “Good girl,” he whispers absent-mindedly, too gone to say much more.

You’re not using your hands as you suck his cock, your spit trailing down on him, and you’re so eager. But it’s also late, and he sees you getting tired, eyes blinking slower as you pause to catch your breath every few moments. He also sees the determination in your eyes, and the absolute want, but he doesn’t want you to exhaust yourself. 

You look so sexy all fucked out, strings of spit connecting your mouth to his cock as you pull away another time, giggling up at him shyly when you realise that he’s noticing you getting tired.

“Just need a second,” you wipe your mouth, out of breath, and it’s not that you’re not incredibly hot like this, but he still wants to fuck you tonight and he’s not sure that will happen if you keep going.

“C’mere, baby,” he says, reaching out his hand.

“Huh?” you ask, taking his hand nevertheless.

“Get back here, baby. I’m gonna fuck you now, alright? Don’t want you tiring yourself out.”

You let him lift you and put you on your back, but you pout, “Wanna taste you.”

Logan grins, “I’ll cum in your mouth, princess. Promise.”

You smile at his answer, satisfied, so you lie back down, pulling your legs up to your chest. His cock looks huge as he jerks himself off between your legs, rubbing the tip against your clit, making you squirm.

“Don’t know if I can take you,” you bite your lip. You’re not entirely sure if you mean it or not. You definitely want to try.

“We’ll make it fit, baby, we’ll make it fit,” Logan assures you, leaning down to press a kiss to your mouth, a mix of your wetness and his precum between your mouths. You feel his cock at your pussy, “You ready?”

“I’m ready,” you nod desperately, letting him push his cock into your pussy. He pauses after a few inches, but you wrap your legs around his waist more tightly, and he goes deeper.

“Y’okay, baby? You can take it, right?”

You nod, unable to form words with your pussy stretched like this, a combination of pleasure and pain between your legs – but it’s infinitely more pleasure.

“That’s right. You’re my good girl, hm?” He kisses along your neck as he bottoms out, and you both moan when he’s got his cock fully stuffed inside you for the first time. He pulls out slightly when you whine at the stretch, but you scratch down his back to get his attention.

“I can take it,” you tell him, and you watch the look in his eyes darken.

He begins to fuck you, the pain subsiding more with every thrust into your wet pussy. You can barely take him, but it feels good. With your slight tiredness, you feel like you’re floating on cloud nine. 

You can’t believe that Logan – your super hot friend Logan who you’ve been fantasising about for so long – is fucking you. He not only feels the same way about you, but he’s been your secret admirer this entire time, taking hours and hours out of his day to make you smile. You’re the only one he wants.

And now he’s fucking you, fucking you well, and you feel so warm inside, not just from the sex but you feel warm in your heart, because of Logan’s care.

“You okay?” he asks, stroking a hand down your face when he notices you’re not entirely present. You nod happily, smiling up at him, and you can’t talk because you feel so good.

“Good, that’s good, bub, but let me know if it gets too much,” he says as he starts rubbing your clit, watches you nod while he’s fucking you so well, and he’s so big and so deep inside of you, “Squeezing me so tight, baby, feel so fucking good.”

You cum suddenly, letting the warm pleasure flow through your body as Logan keeps fucking you through it, rubbing your clit in just the right rhythm.

“That’s my girl, taking it so well,” he moans, breaths stuttering. You slump against the pillow after a few moments, with a soft smile on your face, and Logan pulls out.

“Gonna make me cum, baby,” he jerks his cock, and you sit up on your elbows immediately, looking him in the eyes with a smile as you stick out your tongue for him. He promised.

Logan moans when he cums, painting your face in his release, jerking himself off. He holds your head in place with his other hand, aiming for your mouth but you’re making no effort to catch his cum there.

“Such a pretty fucking face, princess, ’m cumming all over it,” he rasps, shooting more ropes of his cum all over your cheeks, jacking off onto your face.

You open your eyes when he’s done and breathing heavily, and you smile up at him. You open your mouth, taking the head of his cock between your lips to suck off the last drops of cum.

“Look at you, baby. Look so fucking pretty with my cum all over your gorgeous face.”

You hum, pulling your mouth off him and licking your lips, tasting his salty release. You brush a finger over your cheek, sucking it into your mouth to taste him more. Logan kisses you then, the flavour of himself mixing between your mouths.

He cleans you up gently, carefully wiping your face with a baby wipe and kissing every inch of your cheeks afterwards. You take his face to kiss him properly, and if you didn’t seem so tired Logan would be ready for round two immediately.

“Next time you could try to actually cum in my mouth,” you tease, making Logan grin.

“Sorry, baby. Got too excited. Couldn’t focus on asking you again if it was okay.” He presses an open-mouthed kiss to your lips.

“It’s okay,” you tell him, “I liked it.”

Logan grins, “Oh I could tell you liked it, baby.” You lightly slap his chest as you giggle, pulling him in for another kiss.

You cuddle for a while, not saying much because you don’t have to. You’ve both waited for this for so long that you’re just enjoying the moment, enjoying that it finally happened.

You slip out of his arms to sit on top of him. You’re in nothing but panties, the blanket bunching around your hips. You lean your hands against his chest as you tell him more about how much the drawings delighted you. And Logan cares, of course he cares to hear that, but he’s also just a man seeing the woman he’s into naked for the first time still. 

You become quiet when you realise that he’s not listening, and you giggle, “Distracted?”

Logan grins, “Just a little fucking bit, baby.” His eyes don’t leave your body, and you laugh as you bend down to kiss him. He grabs your ass, kneading the flesh. When you slightly sit up again, your tits are near his face, and he can’t help himself. He cups your breasts, playing with your nipples, making you hum.

“I should draw these,” he looks up at you, “Should draw every perfect fucking inch of you.”

“You wanna?” You adjust how you’re seated in his lap, and you feel that he’s already half hard under you again.

“Maybe after I’ve fucked you again.”

You smile, feeling yourself growing wetter on top of him.

“Tomorrow,” he continues, and your smile drops.

“But you’ve got to get more familiar with the inspiration, right? If you’re going to draw me.”

“That’s true, baby. But I think you’re too tired.”

You smile bashfully, ignoring how your eyelids were drooping shut just a few seconds ago, “Okay, but then I’ll have more energy for tomorrow.”

“That’s my girl,” he smiles, pulling you off him to cuddle you again. He tucks you in and kisses your head. 

You turn to your side, taking one of the framed drawings and looking at it for a while. 

Logan watches you looking at it, and the sparkle in your eyes never fails to make him feel all warm inside. “Now that you actually know about it, I don’t have to draw you from memory anymore. I can study my muse in peace.”

“Aww, I’m your muse?” you beam.

“Of course you are, princess. You’re the only reason I’m drawing again.”

“I love your drawings so much.”

Logan clears his throat, and looks at you. “Well, I love you. So, I think that went into them.”

You look at him, pouting and then kissing him. “I love you too,” you say into his mouth. He grins against your lips, pulling you closer to kiss you some more. He can barely grasp that you just said that, but he’ll have enough time soon to comprehend how lucky he is. 

For now, he takes your hand, and asks, “The question might be redundant now, but do you wanna be mine? Be my girlfriend?”

“I’m already yours.”

Logan grins, takes you in his arms, and you’re still cuddling when you’re both drifting off to a peaceful sleep.

P.S. reblog with a comment and let me know your favourite moment/what you liked to get a drawing from Logan under your door tonight and a facial <33

gorgeous divider by @pommecita

[muse-stellium]

Me when I started writing on here a few years back : "yeah.. I'm pretty bad at coming up w responses to sentence starter prompts tbh, so I don't think I'll post many."

Me now: *20+ sumthin sentence starter prompts waiting to be posted in my drafts*

[wcters]

𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗟𝗢𝗢𝗞 𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗠𝗘

pairing: daniel riccardo x fem!singer!reader

summary: after the miami grand prix where daniel meets of of his favourite country artists, he and you get along and something starts

warnings: swearing, established relationships, pda | facclaim is ella langley, i know the timeline of when her songs were released is messed up but just go with it

f1

liked by yourusername, user2, and 343,010 others

f1 welcome to the paddock @yourusername 🎤

view all 210 comments

user1 she eats up every fit

yourusername thank you for having me 🙏

user2 loved seeing her at the fan stage!!!

user3 didn’t daniel say he liked her music?

↳ user4 he did! and i bet he’s going to fangirl when he sees her

user5 she was so nice! and we had a chat when i asked for a picture ☺️

user6 wifey

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, f1, and 201,836 others

yourusername thank you so much to @f1 and @f1mia for having me! had such a good time 🤘

view all 184 comments

user1 gorgeous girlie

f1 we loved having you!

user2 been wanting to see her for awhile, and seeing her on the fan stage was amazing 🤩

user3 loved it 🔥

user4 never thought these two would collide

user5 what songs did she perform?

↳ user6 she performed paint the town blue and nicotine !!!! it was incredible

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, user1, and 556,868 others

danielricciardo miami was great. not perfect. but still great. big points weekend for the team. not sure if he is alive today but very happy for @landonorris on his first win 🥇 also loved meeting @yourusername

view all 312 comments

user1 HE MET HER GUYS

user2 do you think he got her autograph

↳ danielricciardo and a guitar pick!

yourusername incredible to meet you! congratulations on p4 🤘

user3 “not sure if he’s alive” daniel what happened????

user4 let’s go danny!!

user5 daniel is down bad for y/n 💀

user6 daniel is really us around y/n tbh

user7 i just know daniel was the one yapping to max this time

↳ user7 guys it’s confirmed, max liked

f1gossip

liked by user1, user3, and 113,046 others

f1gossip daniel ricciardo was seen with singer y/n y/l/n a couple days after the miami grand prix in los angeles. the two were spotted walking around together on the seventh of may before going to a small pub where y/n performed an unreleased song, i blame the bar.

view all 134 comments

user1 daniel in a cowboy hat is something i will NEVER complain about 🙏

user2 i would say y/n bought that for him but if we’re being honest, that’s just something daniel would have

user3 a friend of mine was there and said that they were super close and cuddled up to another

user4 i love how she’ll just perform in random bars and pubs wherever she is!

user5 daniel really went for it

yourusername added to their story!

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, user3, and 323,945 others

yourusername my album you look like you love me is out on june 20th !!!!! thank you to everyone who helped write, produce, and see my dream for this album. thank you to riley green and tanner usrey, you guys have been wonderful to work with 🤍 thank you to my muses, seriously couldn’t have done it without you 😉 can’t wait for you guys to finally hear it 🤘

view all 238 comments

user1 daniel is definitely one of her muses

↳ user2 oh for sure

rileygreen hope y’all love it as much as we do

user3 one of these songs if not more have to be about danny

danielricciardo pre-saved already 🤘

user4 “you look like you love me” IT HAS TO BE ABOUT DANIEL

user5 let me prepare for the album, don’t contact me

tusreymusic amazing working with you y/n! 🔥

user6 no skip album

f1gossip

liked by user1, user2, and 114,064 others

f1gossip after several sightings of the two together, y/n y/l/n was seen entering the paddock at the canadian grand prix and heading into the RB garage

view all 124 comments

user1 she looks incredible as always

user2 they’re just teasing us now 🙄🙄

user3 unreal

user4 slay the house down houston I’m deceased

user5 daniel is really digging into his country roots

user6 okay but they look amazing together

user7 OW OW 🔥🔥

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, user3, and 340,910 others

yourusername you look like you love me out now !!!! this one’s to you d 🫶

view all 242 comments

user1 AHHH THEY’RE TOO CUTE

danielricciardo 🤠🫶

user2 listening to it rn

user3 my new favourite album

user4 they really love each other 🥺🥺

user5 HE’S USING HER EMOJIS

rileyduckman we should be proud of ourselves

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 990,046 others

danielricciardo my country side

view all 473 comments

user1 too cute

user2 y/n please make him dress up full country all the time

↳ yourusername 🫡🫡

yourusername all you need is some proper cowboy boots

user3 obsessed with you two

user4 he really said ‘save a horse, ride a cowgirl’

landonorris can i get a cowboy hat?

user5 y/n better come perform at more gp’s

[plushibo]

Tattoos

Preference: Getting His name tattooed

Characters Included: Rafayel

Words: 760

Pronouns: he/him (because i can tbh)

Warnings: nicknames like, “Mr Bodyguard”, “Cutie”, Rafa might be OOC, this is my first time writing for him. Also, sorry its short. I've had NO ideas LMAO

A/N: Was gonna do all the boys, but I only had the idea for Rafa tbh

It hadn’t been hard to get him to sign that little piece of paper. Just a few strokes to his ego and he was ready to do whatever you told him to do. He was a little confused as to why you wanted his signature, of all things, but Rafayel conceded and signed the little slip of paper just as he signed every painting he completed.

It was hard, however, to avoid Rafayel during the beginning of the healing stage. It was only a few days, but when you told him that you would be on a mission (a big lie, but this surprise was worth it, you thought) for three days, he acted like it would be a year until he saw you again.

After hours of his complaining, you were alone. Ready for your mission. The tattoo itself only took an hour at the most. It was a thin lined tattoo of his signature on your collar bone. When it was done, you were thrilled with the results. The thin black lines of his beautiful signature were amazing. Healing took about 72 hours and finally, finally, you were ready to show him.

You decided to wear a shirt that only barely covered the tattoo, making it hard for him not to notice if the collar dipped down. You showed up unannounced to his studio, waltzing in as if you owned the place.

“Well, well, look who finally decided to join us.” Rafayel announced when he saw you had entered. His eyes narrowed playfully at you before glancing at Reddie. “The traitor is back.”

You scoffed, putting your bag down and walking closer. “Traitor? I have a job, y’know. Maybe you would know if you gave yourself an actual schedule instead of random 24 hour shifts whenever you felt like it.”

“Ouch, that hurt, Mr Bodyguard.” He teased. “Your words wound me.” Regardless, as you walked over to pull him into a hug, he wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in your shoulder. “Why’d you have to go all the way to-” His voice cut off abruptly. You hid your grin. He noticed quicker than you thought he would, honestly. “What is that?”

You pulled back from the hug, adjusting your shirt to cover the tattoo again. “What’s what?”

His eyes narrowed and he raised a hand, pointing at your collar. “That. It looked like ink. Did you get a tattoo while on a mission without telling me?”

You shrugged with a small, sly grin. “Maybe. You want to see it?”

“What? Of course I want to see what you got permanently placed on your body. I swear, if it's something stupid, I’m going to laugh at you.” He mused, crossing his arms, waiting for you to reveal the tattoo. 

“Eh. It is something stupid.” I admitted, grinning at the little tease before pulling your shirt down slightly to show the tattoo.

“Of course it is, what is it? A dead fish-” He paused again. His eyes stared at your collar. He was silent. You fidgeted under his scrutinizing stare.

“Wh-What? Do you like it?” You asked nervously, shifting your weight from left to right.

He didn’t respond right away. He stepped closer, using a hand to trail over the word written there. “...This is a real tattoo?” He asked. His voice was slightly more gravely than usual. You nodded. “And… it’s my name?”

You gave a small smile, nervous about his reaction. “Yeah! Not only is it your name, but it’s your signature. The one you put in the corner of all your paintings. I thought it was really special. I didn’t really go on a mission. I went to get this done. I’m sorry for lying to you.”

He was quiet again for a moment before his gaze flickered up and met yours. “You got a tattoo of my signature? Like a permanent one? You- You don’t think you’ll regret it?”

You blinked in surprise. “Regret it? No. Not unless you hate it, of course. I love it. It shows how much I love and support you, I think.”

“Hate it? Why would I hate it?” He said softly before coughing and pulling his hand away from your collar. “I mean, it shows that you’re definitely mine.”

You laughed softly, cradling his face in your hands, “I was already yours, but sure. This can be your claim on me.”

His eyes softened and he leaned over. “I don’t need a claim on you, Cutie.” He murmured. “No matter what, you aren’t leaving my side.”

[itsallyscorner]

Maple syrup, coffee, pancakes for two | H.S

pairing: boyfriend!Harry Styles x reader

summary: you unintentionally help Harry with a song he’s been struggling to write

warnings: a lil on the cheesy side tbh, but she’s cute. Mentions the pandemic

a/n: this was one from the drafts, originally written when Harry’s House was released and I finally got around to finishing it :)

Sometime during 2020 and the pandemic

His soft murmurs and humming were the only sounds that can be heard in his makeshift studio. The occasionally creaking of the house or him clicking his pen would break the silence from time to time. His frame was hunched over on the burnt orange colored couch, with his knees almost pressed against his chest, the couch was far too small for his tall figure. However, he liked the couch and it was comfy to lay on when he took breaks from writing. The journal he used to jot down lyrics was balanced on his left knee while his right hand scribbled words on the paper sloppily.

He had just gotten off a zoom call with Kid, Mitch, and some other members who he’s been working with for his new album. While they were supposed to be working in the studio for today’s session, one of the writers had come down with a cold. While it wasn’t confirmed to be COVID, Harry and his team decided it would be safe if everyone just isolated themselves for a while until further notice. Harry actually enjoyed the thought of working on the album at his home. He considered this to be one of the most intimate albums he’s ever made. The artist in him believed that being in the place where he’s comfortable being vulnerable would allow him to write more personal songs. Being home also allowed him to be closer to his muse—you.

The small claw clip holding his fringe from his face began to feel a bit too tight and his eyes were straining against the warm toned light to look at the page on his journal. He had been stuck on a certain verse for a while now and couldn’t bring himself to just call it a day on writing. He had been on the grind when he first started it, but all of a sudden his verses were turning into single words waiting to be properly knitted into a song. So far, some words/phrases he had were:

Wine glass

Puff pass

Side boob ;)

Cocaine

Toothache

Yellow sunglasses

They were the most random and absurd words to be grouped together, yet he knew he was going somewhere with whatever he had. His train of thought came to a halt when your voice rang through the room.

“Hey, you”

His eyes shifted towards your voice and there you were leaning against the door frame. You wore one of his old sweatshirts, which came up to your knees, and some socks on your feet. You weren’t wearing much but your presence and the soft smile gracing your features screamed comfort to him.

The slight frown on Harry’s face turned into a smile that resembled yours. Pushing off of the door frame, you slowly approached Harry’s spot on the couch.

“Hi angel.” He greeted you, spreading his legs out to make space for you. You happily make your way in between his legs and settle on the floor. You crossed your legs and sat so you were looking up at him. Harry craned his neck to place a kiss on your temple, his lips continuing to move down your face to spread little kisses all over your face. When he got to your lips he placed a soft peck on them with a smile on his own pinkish lips.

“Hope you don’t mind me bothering you.” You tease, the sweet smile still on your face. Harry scoffs playfully, “Y’never a bother to me. I missed you today, what’ve y’been up to?”

He’s been in the “studio” since the morning, having a quick breakfast with you and immediately hopping on zoom to work with his team. It was now 6pm and you couldn’t recall seeing or hearing your boyfriend leave the room throughout the day for a break or a snack—which led to you checking in on him.

“Not much, finished up some things for work and caught up on some Love Island.” You shrugged, Harry rolling his eyes jokingly at the mention of the reality tv show. “How ‘bout you? Was today’s session successful?” You ask. Harry hums, reaching for his journal.

“S’half ‘n half. We finished that track we wrote last month—don’t know if y’remember it—but it turned out really great. I have a good feeling ‘bout it once it’s out.” He began while still flipping back to the page he last wrote on. “I started writing another, b’now I’m just stuck. M’brain feels like it can’t think of anything else, s’blank.” He ranted using his hands to express his emotions. You let out a chuckle as you avoid one of his large hands waving around from hitting your face.

“Maybe it’s time for you to take a break, H. You’ve been here all day, god knows how long you’ve been slouched on this couch.” For emphasis, you nudge said couch, Harry shooting you a look.

“S’not a bad couch, leave m’couch alone.” He pouts, silently agreeing that it was definitely time for a break. You duck out of his arms and get up, walking towards the door. Harry follows, moving to get up but halts his movements when a crack comes from his back. You swiftly turn around with your eyes wide and an amused look.

“Oi m’back!” Harry exclaimed in shock. He stood there for second before making eye contact with you. The two of you burst out laughing.

“I fucking told you!” You pointed at him, only to be gently pushed out the door by Harry who was muttering for you to “shuddup”.

Despite the two of you being home, Harry linked his fingers with yours while you both walked to the kitchen. His large hand engulfed yours, his rough thumb stroking the top of your hand.

“I’m actually hungry.” Harry thought aloud once the kitchen came to view. He was wondering what he should eat, deciding between leftovers, cooking, or ordering in. However, he let out a gasp when he saw food already on the table.

He turned around to you beaming, “Y’made my favorite!” On the dining table were pancakes, hash browns, eggs, and coffee. Even though he was eating healthier, Harry believed that one can never go wrong with breakfast for dinner. The main reason why he loved it was because of a memory you both shared during the early stages of your relationship.

The two of you had overslept at his house after movie night and skipped dinner. By the time you both woke up, everything was closed. So the two of you ended up rummaging through his kitchen only to find eggs, pancake mix, frozen hash browns, and coffee. Harry loved that night so much because it was the moment you two truly got to know each other more and connected. It was like finally breaking the barrier of whatever was holding you back from one another. Till this day he remembers the sleepy haze behind your eyes as you shared stories from your past. Your mascara smudged beneath your eyes and your hair was a mess, but none of that mattered because he thought you were beautiful either way. Ever since that night, the two of you would have breakfast for dinner as a staple in your household.

While Harry piled two plates with eggs, pancakes, and hash browns, you filled up two mugs with coffee. Harry liked his black, while you liked yours with a bit of cream and sugar. The two of you settled in the living room, ditching the dining table because it just wasn’t comfy enough. You smiled down at your plate—which had maple syrup dripping down a tower of pancakes—as Harry picked a record to put on. Call it old school, but it was one of the normal things keeping you sane during this lockdown. He had chosen one of his Elvis ones. The same one he played that first night you had breakfast for dinner.

You sat across each other on the couch, feet nuzzled together and your knees bumping alongside the other. The sound of your forks and knives scratching against the plate filled the room along with Elvis’s voice on the record player.

Harry had forgotten he had been writing the entire day. Instead, he remembered all the places you traveled to and the memories you made together on those trips. Being stuck at home for months made the both of you crave the outside world and the normality of it all. Though as much as you wanted to book a trip to Italy, it wasn’t safe to leave the country.

It felt like the world was ending, but to Harry it didn’t feel like it because he was with you. You brought light to the darkness—yes, it was cheesy—but it was the only way Harry knew how to describe being with you.

You guys spent the night eating and reminiscing on past memories you made together. As the hours passed, your plates were now empty and on the coffee counter, while you had found your way into your lover’s arms. His arms held you close to him as your body rested perfectly against his. Your head laid upon his chest, allowing you to feel him breathe and hear the beating of his heart. You were surrounded by his warmth and it was truly all you ever wanted.

Harry could feel you dozing off, your sentences had gotten shorter and your voice had a slight slur. With his nose against your temple he whispered, “Y’know I’ll always love you, right?”

You shifted your head to look into his dark emerald eyes, “Yeah.”

His eyes squinted at you playfully, “How so?” He tested you.

“Because I know I’ll always love you too.”

Then just like that, a spark set off in his head, and all of a sudden the words he has jotted down earlier that day made sense.

[captainthisshipinmyhead]

Secret Desires

Sanemi x Fem!Reader, Giyuu x Fem!Reader (p sure I used she/her pronouns at one point but I don't think I use any descriptors really, so it could be read as GN!Reader, just wanted to tag as fem just in case)

Shinazugawa hates Tomioka, everyone knows this. But nobody knows the real reason behind this animosity-- or that it mostly has to do with you.

Warnings: angst, mentions of sex (no smut), OOC Sanemi tbh, cold/emotionless Giyuu (I put that as a warning bc it pains me. Giyuu is my lil cinnamon bun sweetie I hate making him that way 😔), very little plot outside the romance stuff lol.

WC: 5,182

A/N: I'm not rlly a huge fan of like, music-based fics but I have to admit I thought about the idea for this one when a Panic! At the Disco song came on shuffle the other day. These lines listed below in particular from "She Had the World" inspired this. Enjoy. As always, constructive criticism is much appreciated but please be kind.

“When I look in her eyes, well I just see the sky”

“I don’t love you, I’m just passing the time”

         It was no secret to any of the hashira that Shinazugawa hated Tomioka with a passion. To the few of them that had asked about this animosity outright Shinazugawa had given some lame answers before, like that Tomioka appeared to think of himself as better than the other hashira (true), that Tomioka had defeated him in all their 1v1 training sessions due to some really bullshit happenings that occurred each time and it was annoying (true), and that Tomioka had killed one of Shinazugawa’s pet beetles (not true). Though these were the reasons he gave for having such a hatred for the Water Pillar, they weren’t the real reason why Shinazugawa couldn’t stand the guy. The real reason that he would probably never reveal out loud to anyone else was simple: you.

         You were indeed the reason for the one-sided hatred between the two hashira. You didn’t know this, of course, but Shinazugawa absolutely couldn’t stand the fact that Tomioka had you. Though he never intended on telling you this, Shinazugawa had feelings for you. Deep, deep feelings that he actively had to push down when you talked to him with your bright smile, telling him another one of your stories about the crazy happenings of your day. He was no stranger to envy and not getting things that he wanted in life, so it wasn’t just the fact that Tomioka had you, but that he didn’t care for you as he should.

This was another secret Sanemi held closely-- not because he didn’t want to tell you, but because didn’t know how. He had found out Tomioka’s true feelings because Tomioka had gotten careless after one stressful week with back to back missions and left his personal notebook out in a common dining space. The only person around at the time to find it was Shinazugawa. He normally wouldn’t care about the personal musings of a random person but given whose notebook it was, he couldn’t resist reading a few tidbits. His jaw fell open in rage when he saw the way Tomioka had written about you there—not necessarily as if he didn’t care for you at all, but he was very clear in the fact that he had no romantic feelings toward you whatsoever. He was very clear in his musings that you were his partner simply as a way for Tomioka to relieve stress, seek out affection, and boost his own ego.

When Shinezugawa read this, he was beyond pissed. He was absolutely outraged. How could he? How was it that Tomioka of all people got to have someone as kind as you and he didn’t value you the way that he should? He could’ve killed Tomioka with his bare hands in that moment, but he knew that you were at his estate now, visiting your partner for the evening, and he knew that you hated unnecessary violence and animosity between fellow demon slayers. In the moment, he decided to place the notebook back where he had found it, and go on a walk to calm his anger. He would deal with Tomioka in due time, some way that wouldn’t have you angry at the both of them.

         In the weeks following this discovery, Sanemi could not shake the rage that filled him at the sight of Tomioka. And don’t get him started on how it felt seeing the both of you together. When you approached Sanemi alone, which you often did as you enjoyed talking to the typically prickly Wind Pillar, he forced his emotions down so that he didn’t burst forth with the knowledge he had on your little boyfriend. You absolutely deserved to know, but if he were to be the one to tell you he wanted to do it without anger, only with empathy and understanding. The way that you should be treated. Sanemi valued you deeply, and he never wanted to hurt you. It was his own deep-rooted care for you that made this situation so anguishing. He knew that he could treat you better—so much better. If only he had gotten closer to you first, then maybe....

         He tried not to linger on the maybes. He didn’t want to be your friend with any conditions attached—he never thought of himself as the most emotionally intelligent person, but he at least knew that wasn’t fair. So he let it play out, because although Sanemi didn’t necessarily believe in karma, he did believe that the truth always comes to light.

         As far as your relationship went, you were comfortable in it. While there were things that maybe had you desiring more, you couldn’t say that you weren’t content with Tomioka so that was good enough for you. Really, what more could you ask for? Your boyfriend was strong, handsome, perceptive to your needs, and your intimacy together was consistent. Sure, Tomioka wasn’t the most outspoken about your relationship or on board with PDA—or, when you thought about it, any kind of physical affection-- but you really didn’t have any complaints. I mean, is your relationship really in the trenches if your boyfriend doesn’t show you off? No, that wasn’t necessarily a deal breaker.

         But when you saw other couples together, you felt an ache in your chest. You couldn’t help but compare your relationship to the sugary sweet ones around you. You saw others who held hands on public pathways, fingers intertwined, and imagined what it must feel like to be in love so freely where everyone could see. You saw the way these couples would sneak pecks on each others’ cheeks or foreheads, and the way that they would blush at the acts of affection, and you sighed internally. You heard whispered vows of devotion and love, and couldn’t help but think about how Tomioka never professed his love to you. Not verbally at least. I mean, he had to love you of course, you two had been together for the better part of a year. He just didn’t show it that often. He was just subtle. That’s what you told yourself. You had muttered the three words to him before, but you usually only did it in moments of passion, when you could play it off as being really into the moment if he questioned it. He didn’t, but all you got in response to your proclamations were grunts in your ear or hums that you hoped were agreement. But honestly, not hearing those words from him hurt your feelings. You wanted a deep love; one that your mind never questioned because it was always made so clear to you how much you were valued. You wanted it so badly you dreamed of it, but you weren’t willing to end things with Tomioka just over feeling a little pathetic at not publicly being affectionate with him or hearing three words. Other than those desires of yours, you guys were perfectly fine, really.

         It only took about a month before the guilt and rage began chipping away at Sanemi’s resolve. He had to tell someone, even if it couldn’t be you—and Iguro was the only hashira Sanemi trusted with any tidbits of his personal life, so Iguro it was.

         He had invited the Serpent Hashira over for a training session one afternoon when he was particularly frustrated. Iguro pretty much knew the drill; when Shinazugawa invited him over for one-on-one training it usually meant he needed to rant about something and let off some steam. Since Iguro was more of the quiet type anyway, he didn’t mind keeping quiet and letting Shinazugawa grunt out his frustrations.

Sanemi may have thought that he was keeping his admiration for you a secret, but Iguro was much more perceptive than the Wind Pillar realized. When he finished telling his friend how shitty your relationship really was, he was shocked that his friend called him out instead of getting angry with him.

         “And you didn’t tell her this?” Iguro admonished Sanemi, “You’d keep such a secret from the girl you love?”

         “I...what? Love? I didn’t say anything-“ He cut himself off at the sharp look in Iguro’s eyes as he tried to deny his feelings.

“I can’t tell her, obviously! She would be angry not only at the situation but at me, for knowing now for a month that her relationship is a sham! You can’t just....just drop that on someone! I mean, did I even ask  for your opinion anyway? Geez!”

Iguro’s eyes peered sternly at Shinazugawa over his bandages. “You should have told her as soon as you knew. It wouldn’t have been easy, but it would have been easier than telling her now. Maybe she wouldn’t have been angry then, but she definitely will be now that you’ve known all this time, and you can’t blame her.” Iguro would never admit it, but he had grown fond of you over your time with the Demon Corps, and it was mostly contributed to how highly Shinazugawa, his friend, spoke of you. This whole situation now pissed him off as well.

         Sanemi found that he couldn’t meet his friend’s eyes.

“You think I don’t know that?! Know it all ass....” Sanemi mumbled, deflecting the shame he felt at being called out. “Look, whatever, I’ll tell her soon. I said already I should’ve told her before. God, this sucks.”

Iguro nodded in the affirmative, sheathed his sword and bid goodbye to his friend before heading back to his own estate, trusting that their training session had been helpful. And it turned out that it had been helpful, as it struck Sanemi to be called out so plainly by his typically cold friend, who he had not expected to scold him at their training earlier. I mean, what was that about? Iguro never spoke up when Sanemi ranted—it was like, an unspoken understanding of theirs. But hey, whatever. The longer Shinazugawa got to ponder on the oddity of the earlier conversation, the less he thought about what he was on his way to do.

Sanemi approached the residence of the Flame Pillar, who you were training under as his tsuguko. His steps faltered a bit as he saw that you were already outside and you spotted him quickly, giving him no more time to prepare his words. He forced a smile on his face that he hoped matched yours, and closed the distance between you.

“Y/n! Hey, how are you doing today?” He started out with some niceties, stalling.

“Oh well, I’m pretty good, Sanemi, how about you? I see you’re kind of flushed, if you need to come inside we can. It’s pretty hot out today. Here, let me get you some water as well!” As kind as always, you took him gently by the elbow and began walking him to the engawa nearby. As he was seated, he rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants. Gratefully accepting the water you held out to him, he drank deeply and sighed, knowing that the painful conversation had to begin.

“Y/n, I um... I came here to tell you something. I should’ve told you a long time ago, but I have been a coward, and I’m sorry for that.” He glanced sideways at your face, noticing already how the worry filled your eyes.

“About a month ago, I found some personal writings of Tomioka’s, and, well, they... they mentioned you, and...” He paused to take a deep breath, preparing to rip the metaphorical bandaid off. “He wrote in his notebook that he isn’t in love you”

Sanemi held his breath. It almost seemed in that moment as if the world held its breath too—he could feel a slight breeze but didn’t hear it move through the trees, and even birds that had been chirping had fallen silent. He forced himself to look at you and he immediately wished he hadn’t. Your mouth had fallen open in a delicate “o” shape, and your eyes sparkled with tears that had yet to fall. It appeared that you were trembling, and you couldn’t meet his eyes as they desperately tried to lock onto yours.

After a few moments of prolonged silence, Shinazugawa reached his hand out toward you, not knowing what to say but knowing he could offer you some physical comfort—and you jerked violently away from him.

“Go.” Your voice was low.

“Y- Y/n I’m—”

“I said go Shinazugawa,” you were practically growling at him.

“But wait, I-“

Your head whipped around so quickly he was startled, your expression as fierce as when you faced down a demon. “You knew. You knew for a month and you hid it from me. I thought we were friends, I- I thought that you cared for me!” The anger in your voice is exactly as he had feared.

He was going to lose you because of Tomioka—no, no.... he was going to lose you because of his own stupidity.

Not wanting to anger you further, he slipped down from the engawa and took a couple of steps away before speaking one last sentiment to you: “I am sorry, Y/n. I understand if you don’t wish to talk to me anymore, but my door is open to you if you ever change your mind.” He exited the estate and walked with a heavy heart back to his own mansion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         You were devastated. Your deep fear had been confirmed by your friend, who had known long before you and chosen to deceive you. You had ignored Giyuu’s letters asking to meet for meals, and you had asked Rengoku to turn him away whenever he showed up at the estate’s entrance. You sobbed for a couple of days straight, then you could only lie in silence for the next day or two. Rengoku, the kind hearted man that he is, brought you all your favorite foods at mealtimes to try to entice you to eat, but your appetite was nonexistent despite his efforts. You finally reached a point where your sadness turned again to anger, but this time it was rightfully aimed toward the person who had deceived you longer than anyone—Giyuu. You finally instructed Rengoku to let him in after 5 days straight of the Water Hashira groveling outside. Rengoku, bless him, glared at Tomioka the entire time he marched to your door, though he knew not what was going on between the two of you.

         You had made an effort to clean your appearance up; you didn’t want to be disheveled in front of the man who had ripped your heart to shreds. Tomioka began the conversation, immediately starting to apologize, knowing how you had found out because Shinazugawa and Iguro had already ripped him a new one for it.

“Y/n please, I’m so so sorry. I can’t apologize enough for-“

“How could you?” You cut him off, not wanting to hear his bullshit apologies. If he were really sorry or guilty or whatever he would claim to you, why would he have kept his act up so long? Why pretend to care for you at all? If he wanted sex, it could have just been that. People make arrangements for situations to just enjoy sex all the time, there could have been some sort of understanding between you without the need for this senselessly cruel pain that you were put through.

“Y/n, I... I messed up. I was selfish, and I began a relationship with you knowing that a serious relationship wasn’t what I wanted, and I just.... I just hoped that somewhere along the line I would change my mind. I need you to understand though that it has nothing to do with you, you’re the best person I know, I just... I’m not someone who’s able to date right now. I don’t know if I’ll be able to ever, it’s just how I am. I should have told you that. I made excuse after excuse not to break things off. I enjoyed your affection and your attention, and I took advantage of it. I’m sorry.”

You listened to his small speech with a quivering lip.  He dated you for almost a year, with you thinking that you two were serious about each other, just because he liked your affection? You were almost more angry now that you’d heard his stupid explanation; it didn’t excuse this sham of a relationship. The silence stretched on as your tear-filled eyes glanced at the ground, at the trees behind him, at the birds in the sky....anywhere but at him, the man you thought you loved. Eventually, he broke the silence.

“You’re right to be angry. I would be too, anyone would be. You deserve better than me wasting your time. I’m so sorry. I know I never told you I loved you, because that felt like a lie, and I know you probably feel used. But y/n, if you ever forgive me, I know I could love you as my friend. I could be a much better friend to you than I ever was a lover. Please, take all the time you need. Even if you don’t forgive me, I’ll be willing to talk more whenever you’re ready.”

         He slowly began to turn around and step toward the estate’s main gate, and you watched him walk with slumped shoulders. At least you knew he truly felt bad about it all—Giyuu was not an actor. He couldn’t lie to save his life—not directly, like how he never said that he loved you. Once you were confident that he was out of earshot, you let out a sob that you hadn’t wanted him to hear, and turned to escape back into your bed for the remainder of the day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         After a week of your grieving your future with Giyuu, in which luckily you had not been called on any missions, you finally felt okay enough to get ready and go to a group training session. Upon your arrival, you were approached by Sanemi, whose expression was more worried than you’d ever seen it.

“I came to check on you,” he said, eyes flicking between your own as if searching for a response there. You knew he had come to ask about you multiple times, maybe more times than Giyuu even, but Rengoku took his role as your protector seriously and turned Shinazugawa away even when he threatened violence.

“I wasn’t taking visitors.”

“Okay, yeah, I um—I get that. You needed time. Did you at least get my letters?”

You hadn’t realized he had been sending you letters also—you had instructed your crow not to deliver any messages to you unless they were from the master instructing you to go on a mission. Everything else could wait.

“Oh, my crow may have them stored away for me somewhere, but I didn’t want to read any letters last week either. Sorry.”

“Oh no, no, no need to be sorry,” He rushed to reassure you, placing his strong hand on your shoulder in a comforting gesture. You hadn’t realized how much you missed his company; how he effortlessly showed you his sweet side that others didn’t see. Your heart, having felt frozen solid for well over a week at this point, began to thaw out at the genuine warmth you felt from your friend. Overwhelmed with appreciation for him, you drew him into a hug, which he returned after a beat of hesitation.

         The training session went without a hitch as you slid right back into your regimen. Sanemi hardly left your side, and other slayers gave the two of you odd looks at the beginning when you had embraced. You couldn’t blame them—Sanemi was feared by many for his quick temper and how he resorted to violence in many situations that weren’t quickly and easily resolved with words. Though you’d never had to be fearful of him, you were able to see why others were.

         As you were gathering your things to head back to Rengoku’s estate, Sanemi asked if he could accompany you, which you accepted. You enjoyed his companionship too much to say no.

“Y/n, I want to apologize to you. I know you were upset with me for not telling you about Tomioka when I found out, and I should have. We’re... we’re friends, and I care about your feelings. I didn’t tell you because I was scared to hurt you, even though it wasn’t technically me who was doing the uh, hurtful thing? Look, I’m not good with words, so uh, I—” His cheeks blushed scarlet as you peered up at him in the evening sun. A tiny smile formed on your face before you cut him off.

“It’s okay, Sanemi. I know. And I know you probably wanted to tell me. I’m not angry with you really, you told me eventually. You’re a good friend to me. Thank you.”

         You looped your arm through his and continued walking, a comfortable silence between you.

Sanemi was the one to break it. “You deserve better, y/n. I always thought you did, but definitely with all this coming out you deserve better. You deserve someone to love you. I see other couples around, like, kissing and holding hands and stuff and... I don’t know, I just never saw him do any of that for you. The next person should do that and more. You should have someone who isn’t afraid to love you proudly. I know you have a lot of love to give, ‘cause that’s just who you are. You are love. So that’s what you deserve.”

You couldn’t say anything in response—you had never had someone tell you something so heartwrenchingly sweet before. You were coming up to your place, so you stepped on the engawa and turned to face Sanemi before dipping down to place a kiss on his cheek. His blush from before, barely having faded, returned with a vengeance.

“Thank you, Sanemi,” you said, voice barely more than a whisper. You hoped you conveyed how much you appreciated him. You smiled, and backed into your home, watching his lips turn up as he also backed toward the path leading to his home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         Over the following months, you got back into your normal routine and felt much more at peace with your heartbreak. You had the support of the rest of the hashira, even if most of them didn’t know details of what happened between you and Tomioka—it wasn’t something that you were inclined to share. Not only would it cause more animosity to be directed toward him (he wasn’t the most popular slayer to begin with...), but it also caused you a bit of embarrassment that you were toyed with for so long. Regardless, you came to understand Tomioka’s reasoning for stringing you along, especially because of his lack of social life outside of you. You felt bad for him, knowing that now he truly had no one to spend time with; but you definitely weren’t ready to be on friendly terms with him anytime soon so you didn’t make efforts to see or speak with him.

         You had grown closer to Sanemi than you were before, which was a feat considering that you were already best friends really, even when you were with Tomioka. You both ate all of your meals together, trained together, often walked each other home, and confided in one another more than ever. Shinazugawa made you very comfortable around him. You were shocked when you realized one afternoon, head thrown back at the sky as you laughed at some clever quip from him, that he had single-handedly returned your smile to you after your heartbreak. You felt a tiny bit of warmth wiggling in your chest.

         Walking once again toward the Flame Hashira’s estate, your arms swayed gently by your sides. With Sanemi to your left, you felt very relaxed after a long day of training and goofing off with him and Iguro. You were looking forward to a nice meal and a hot bath. A sigh slipped from your lips at the pure contentment you felt in this moment.

         Sanemi’s head turned toward you, seeking your eyes.

“Everything alright?”

“Perfect, ‘Snemi,” your tongue was loose in relaxation and a strange version of his nickname slipped out, alongside a giggle at the slip-up.

         His face stretched into a smile, which was rare for anyone besides you to ever see. Walking down the bumpy path leisurely, the backs of your hands kept brushing. The warmth you’d felt in your chest since seeing Sanemi every day turned into a flutter everytime you touched his skin. As his knuckles bumped yours again, you decided to be bold—it was about time you started going for what you wanted, right? You caught his hand in yours and laced your fingers through his calloused ones. Your heart stuttered at the contact, and if you’d asked him how he felt he’d say the same. He squeezed your hand in his and rubbed his thumb in soft circles as you approached your residence.

“Y/n, I was actually wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow? With me? Well, duh, but you know...” Sanemi trailed off, his cheeks turning that shade of pink that delighted you so much. He was always so confident in every other situation—in fighting, in conversation with others, in his strengths, and he had been confident in flirting if what you’d seen in past years through your friendship was anything to go off of. His shyness with you was endearing; it told you that he cared what you thought of him. You knew he also had a level of comfort with you that he didn’t possess with anyone else, but you hoped in the near future you could express to him exactly just how much you valued him so that he no longer had reason to be so shy around you anymore.

  “Nemi, we hang out every day. Of course, I would love to see you again tomorrow.”

He kept meeting your eyes but then looking away. “Well yeah, yes, we do, but I kind of want to do something different, if that’s okay. Like if you wanted we could walk to the trees where the cherry blossoms are and I’ll bring a bunch of food and we’ll have, like, a picnic or something.” Your heart had to have swelled to twice its normal size.

         Still holding his hand, you gave him a reassuring squeeze. “I would love to.”

He finally met your gaze for more than half of a second and his still-pink cheeks broke into a grin wider than you think you’d ever seen on him. You didn’t know if you’d ever seen anything cuter. “Okay, then perfect! And, just to be clear, I wanted this to be a date. Like, romantically.”

You laughed again, throwing your arms around his neck and nuzzling into his broad chest. “Yes, Nemi. I want this to be a date too.”

Pulling back, you looked at his face, and you couldn’t help it. You were smitten with your friend. Well, soon to be more-than-friend, right?

“Can I kiss you?”

His face dropped into a look of pure shock, then elation as he breathed out, “Yes, y/n. I would like nothing more.”

So you leaned in, and he did the same, meeting in the middle. Sanemi may look rough around the edges to everyone else—but to you, he was nothing but soft and sweet. His lips were soft, not just in texture but in pressure, as if he wanted to make sure he wouldn’t be too rough with you. Your lips moved together as if you’d done this before. Thinking about how you knew now Sanemi’s true feelings for you made you smile into the kiss, and you felt his lips turn upwards too. Both of you were hesitant to part, but you had to pull away when it became difficult to breathe. His lips followed yours, not wanting to break.

Sanemi rested his forehead against yours and your peered up into his eyes. You didn’t think you’d ever seen him look so relaxed or blissful. “I should go,” you said after a moment, pulling a sigh from his mouth. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sanemi. We’ll have more time together then.”

“Alright. If you must go,” he replied, pressing a sweet kiss to your brow before stepping away, off to his own estate. You watched him go. For the first time in several months, you could see yourself being happy again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         A year later, you still walked everywhere with Sanemi, only now you two never went without your hands clasped tightly together. Your relationship with him had been completely different than the one before that had broken your heart. Sanemi held your hand with pride, he planted kisses on the top of your head and pecked your cheeks even when in the presence of others. When you became overwhelmed with how adorable your partner was and stretched up on your toes for a kiss, he still blushed if you two were in public, but he never turned down an opportunity to kiss his beloved. Not to mention, Sanemi never let a day go by without telling you he loved you. He didn’t really need to tell you in order for you to know—his actions spoke volumes about his true feelings—but each time he told you, you reveled in it and made sure to tell him the same back. And yes, you could say it to him anywhere, anytime without embarrassment or needing to play it off somehow.

His affection was shocking to others. The big, bad Wind Pillar who beat other slayers to a pulp at his trainings blushed when his girlfriend kissed him? He held her hand like his lifeline? His eyes weren’t full of hatred, but adoration? How could this be? Though this behavior was shocking to them when your relationship began, many were able to associate this new temperament to Shinazugawa fairly easily. While still rough in training sessions and prone to losing his temper, since he had been with you others could tell that he made a greater effort to hold his tongue or step away when upset rather than throw senseless punches. You made him want to do better for you, so he was better for you. He was a man of his word.

****

Now, when you walked Sanemi to a Hashira meeting, you placed a gentle kiss to his cheek and looked at the other hashira waiting in the Master’s garden. You waved first at Rengoku, who you’d see later on, then at Tomioka, who still hesitated to return your greetings even though you had released any anger you held toward him months ago. How could you hold anger toward your ex when you were so incredibly happy with Sanemi? Tomioka had taught you what you deserved, and Sanemi had been more than happy to put in work to be that for you. Now you could say with truth that you had no complaints.

[stllite]

hyunjin hc's ✧˚ · .

hwang hyunjin x gn!reader

word count 680

authors note i've had this in my drafts for a bit and thought i would post it until i wrote another fic...hope you enjoy! i love hyune sm <33

you both appreciate the little things soooo much! if the moon looks pretty one night or there’s a pretty sunset, either one of you is tapping each other on the shoulder excitedly and pointing at the sight.

picturessss! he loves taking pictures of you and does it a lot when you don’t even notice. personally, those are his favorite! you’ll be looking over the pictures he took of that day and see one of you and point at it.  “when did you take this?” “oh, when we were at the lake. you looked so pretty i couldn’t help it.” you’ll definitely be blushing so hard.

you guys have the best dates! you love just taking walks with each other, trying new restaurants, going to different museums, or just driving around listening to music. you both love exploring new places with each other.

while you guys love exploring, you also love staying in. just being around each other is enough for the both of you. your favorite pastime together is usually when he’s painting with soft music in the background. you sit beside him and write in your journal or read a book. it’s calming and comforting and you both love it.

speaking of painting, you’re his biggest inspiration. if he’s not painting you exactly, he’s painting things that remind him of you. whether that’s a sunset you both saw together that you were geeking over, a bookstore he saw that reminded him of you, or even small little details about you. nevertheless, you’re his muse.

if you can't make it to one of his shows, he usually facetimes beforehand and talks to you for a little bit to calm his nerves down. but if you can make it to one of his shows he’s with you backstage almost the whole time. the boys tease him for it but you calm him down and keep him at ease.

one cute thing you love about your relationship is when you travel with him on a plane, train, or car! you two share headphones and listen to the playlist you two made together. and when you’re both dozing off, you rest your heads on each other's shoulders. the cutest thing fr!

he lovesssss animals, especially your dog! him and your dog are besties and tbh it gets you kind of jealous that your dog likes hyunjin more than you. butttt kkami is all over you when you’re over at hyunjin’s so it’s a win win. 

if you guys are apart for a while, he’ll send you songs that remind him of you and send you some of the drawings and paintings he did. he’ll text you good morning and good night and tries to fit a facetime call if he can. even if it’s a short one, he just loves hearing your voice. 

he loves his cuddles! he likes laying his head on your chest and lovessss when you play with his hair. but, he also loves wrapping his arms around you and holding you so so close. he honestly never wants to let go. 

baking! you two are adventurous when it comes to trying new things so you bake and cook a lot of goodies (usually late at night) when you’re bored. sometimes, felix will even join in! and when you guys are done with baking you’re goodies, you usually share them with the boys and get their opinion. (they love it every time)

speaking of the boys, they are like brothers to you! it makes hyunjin so happy to know you get along super well with his best friends. all of you are super important to him!

late night convosssss! you two are best friends before anything so you two rant to each other a lot or get into deep conversations about random things.

overall, you two have such a pure and genuine relationship. he loves you and you love him and you two are sure to remind each other any time and any way you can!

<3

[vacate-et-scire]

Hi! In case you still take requests for the match up event ;v; (Always wanted to try one!)

I'm an Aries, INFP (but I think it's not quite accurate). I'm an introvert who can absolutely talk someone's ear off for two hours and then needs to sit in my own room in silence for the next few hours. I have ADHD, so I'm all over the place, tbh. Very forgetful, very disorganised and usually confused. I also bring up the most random stuff at the most random times. Oh, and my friends usually say I'm quite smart, I'm just a mess. I prefer calling it "go with the flow" haha

I love crafts and all things creative, like drawing, writing, building little things, making decorations for my room, you name it. I play volleyball and I'm also a big fan of musicals (and I will sing musical songs to myself on nearly a daily basis). I quite like things that challenge my brain like escape rooms or reading murder mysteries and guessing along.

Anything else... a few random bits: I'm 5'10 and I love wearing platform shoes and heels, so I'd definitely look for someone who doesn't mind that. I love penguins very much and I have a lot of penguin plushies. I'd look for someone who's supportive of how passionate I can be about my interests, who wouldn't mind listening to me talking about the most random stuff. I wanna be able to talk about silly things or have discussions about different topics. Also preferably someone who can balance out my chaos and help me be a bit more organised. Someone who can keep up with me and pull me back down to earth, basically.

Thank you so much for doing this <3 I'll be waiting patiently, so please do take your time!

Your Blue Lock Matchup: Rin Itoshi

First, let’s talk about your personality—chaotic, passionate, and full of creative energy. Rin, despite his cool, distant exterior, gets that kind of energy. He’s someone who thrives on focus, but he also understands what it means to get swept up in something and lose track of everything else. If you ever got lost in a random topic mid-conversation, he wouldn’t just humor you—he’d engage in it, offering his own sharp thoughts and making sure the conversation stays interesting. But at the same time, he’d also know when to pull you back and say, “Hey, let’s get back on track,” without being harsh. He might not always show it, but he actually finds your random musings fascinating—he just needs a little time to process before he chimes in with his own perspective.

Your love for crafts, building things, and creating decorations for your space? Rin would love that, even if he doesn’t show it right away. He’s more of a “silent admirer” type, but you’d find him sneaking glances at the things you’ve created, admiring your talent in his own subtle way. And your brain-challenging hobbies like murder mysteries and escape rooms? Rin would absolutely be into those, especially if you’re there to keep him company while he solves the puzzles. He’s sharp, and a little competitive, so you can bet he’d want to figure things out faster than anyone else—but he’d also appreciate your ability to challenge him and make things more interesting.

As for your love of musicals—while Rin might not burst into song, he’d definitely appreciate your passion for it. You might catch him singing along under his breath during moments of intense focus, and he’d be very impressed by your musical knowledge. Maybe he’d even surprise you by knowing the lyrics to one of your favorite songs and using it as a way to show he’s paying attention to you.

Now, about your height and love for platform shoes—Rin is tall himself (6'1"), so he’d absolutely love the idea of you rocking some heels or platform shoes. He’d find it endearing and might even playfully joke about how you’re just trying to keep up with him.

Rin is exactly the kind of grounded, but also sharp, person who can match your chaotic energy. He’s not going to be overwhelmed by your enthusiasm or creativity—in fact, he’ll probably encourage it, helping you stay focused when you need to and letting you have your moments of randomness. He’d enjoy being your sounding board for all your ideas, and while he might not always be able to keep up with your level of enthusiasm, he’ll be there to catch you when your thoughts go off track. Rin would support you while also gently guiding you, giving you the space to be yourself while providing that grounded stability you need.

While Rin is great at balancing things, he can be a little distant, and his straightforwardness might sometimes feel a bit cold, especially when you're caught up in a topic and looking for more of an emotional connection. But don’t worry—once you break through his walls, you’ll see that he’s all in, and his way of showing affection will be subtle but very real.

In the end, Rin Itoshi would be the partner who keeps you balanced but still lets you explore all of your passions. He’d listen to your random ramblings, challenge you in the best way, and keep you grounded while still loving every quirky part of you. He’d be your rock when the chaos feels a little too much—and you’d be the spark that lights up his world.

[dapper-lil-arts]

Random musing s on your Princess Celestia ask, IE about how she gets bodied all the time die to lazy writing. I have one of 3 explanations I use for it myself:

1:Celestia is clamping down hard on some Blood Knight tendencies.

She is scared if she opted to fight she might not be able to stop herself. Not that commonly used but fun in a "God Princess of Ponykind" way.

2: Celestia has partitioned her own divine power for safety.

I got this idea from a great fic, but the basic premise is there are a metric ton of cosmic functions and divine prisons all kept working by Celestia's divine power and set up so that she can't easily just pull it all back to herself on a whim. This is to both make it harder for her to go evil and ensure if she dies the universe keeps spinning. It didn't used to be so bad, but with Luna gone she took on more of the brunt.

3: Its power related but not the way you think.

Basically, we know Celestia "can" overpower Discord because she warded the Elements against him effectively. However, I assume this took a length ritual not to gather the power but to manage this power in a safe manner.

IE, Discord spreads his magic around wildly, even he doesn't have total control over his magic at 100% inherent to being Discord. Similarly, if Celestia tried to do something similar, it doesn't matter how fine her control is, her nature and magic is at a core level the atomic heart burning at the center of creation.

If she did as Discord did, everything would just be ash. Unless, she is slow and methodical with it, but slow and methodical doesn't work great for battles, hence being able to bind Discord but fighting him would be apocalyptic even if he would be dead at the end of it.

I apreciate what you're trying to do, but I'm not really fond of it, tbh. I don't want to find excuses or justifications for the writer's crappy choices that they did with little thought. Hell even the excuse that she's 1000 years old and that makes her weaker seems lame to me. My solution to these kinds of writing problems is never to find a way to justify them, but to just ignore them altogether and write my own version of Celestia that doesn't suffer from these blatant issues Again, like, when I see "Cozy Glow belongs in Tartarus and/or should be turned to stone!" in canon, my solution isnt to find ways to justify why she DOES belong in Tartarus and as stone, my solution is to ignore what canon says altogether and just write it better.

Canon says everyone is annoyed by Pinkie all the time, and that Rainbow Dash is an cocky asshole that constantly lets her friends down. I'm not listening to canon.

[roguishcat]

✨Writing Interview Tag Game✨

Thank you for the tag @astarionancuntnin! 💕

When did you start writing?

Wrote my first story when I was 16 (original fantasy stuff that was just random scenes that I kept dreaming up when I listened to my sad girl music.) Then I started reading fanfiction and decided to have a go at writing fanfic when I was about 20. Was quite active in a couple of fandoms but gave it up when I was 25. And then BG3 happened and now I'm in my early 30s and having a great time writing fanfiction again!

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I love reading all sorts, drama, horror (but not dumb 'everyone dies just because' stuff), mystery, romance.

And I will write most things, not straight up gore though.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

I used to try to be 'clever' with my writing until I realised that you have to be clever for that. 😁😂 I just stick to slightly quirky, light-hearted stuff with some angst thrown in.

So no, I don't think I get compared to any writers. 🙂

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I mostly write on my laptop wherever I am at the time. At work during breaks, at home on the sofa (nestled between my dog and my cat), pretty much anywhere.

I have enough books in my apartment to sink a battleship (according to my grandmother), so I suppose the whole place has a bit of a 'library' feel. So, in a way my writing space is a library.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Dreaming up stuff before I fall asleep. I overfixate when I listen to music and replay the same scene over and over. Daydreaming helps me write dialogue and get a general out line, and THEN I will listen to the same ten songs on repeat. 😁

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Cute fluff stuff. My last relationship was toxic and ended awfully, and just want to write about romantic tooth-rotting fluff. What can I say, I love love.

What is your reason for writing?

I work two jobs and very long hours, so just want to do something for myself. And I enjoy writing. Though sometimes I hate it too! Like when words are really not wording and I have to abandon something for a while before getting back into it.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

I love all comments, although of course ones that go into detail about which parts readers liked are the best! Feedback is crucial. I realise that my writing is definitely not the best out there (I'm working on improving it!), but if readers find the story moving and enjoy the way I portray their favourite characters and tell me, it honestly makes me tear up sometimes.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I'm not sure exactly how to answer this tbh. 🙂 Approachable, respectful, friendly. I am not sure that this is exactly how I am come across, but I hope that everyone feels that they can send me a message/ask and not feel silly for it. I love chatting and doing challenges and things. If you sent me something and I did not respond, I'm either working on it or Tumbl didn't tag me properly.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Dialogue, at least this is the part that I enjoy writing. The banter between Astarion and other characters especially.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I feel dumb when I make dumb mistakes and notice them after posting. I try to spot them by reading out loud.

But I do love my stories because I love the characters. When I finished my first run of BG3 I immediately started writing. What a wonderful game to have inspired so many creatives!

I adore works by many writers, like Maugham (especially 'Theatre'), anything by Bradbury, Tolkien (of course), Maupassant etc. I cried when I read Gail Honeyman 'Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine'. But I don't think that I would ever try to write in their styles. Not for any particular reason, I just write better when I don't try to 'reach for the Moon', because then I just get upset that my writing is crap in comparison.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

Both, that's for sure. I write stuff and find it delightful and funny, and then remember that I find oddest things funny. And then I think, is this weird? Ah well, we ball!

No pressure tags 💖: @preciouslittlebhaalbae, @clazberryk,

@inkymoonbunny,

@ladyduellist, @cinnamontails-ff,

@silent-words, @anacdoce, @bellasmumblingsandmusings,

@fangbangerghoul, @mellybaggins, @lavenderfluorite14, @waterdeep-weavemoss

[fonulyn]

got tagged by @goodpointsandbadpoints and @silvercap so here we go :3

When did you start writing?

really depends on the definition of writing, but i've been writing stories in notebooks from the moment i actually learned to write. the first one i remember was about a friend group of dogs going on adventures lol. it was nine notebooks long and my poor teacher was too nice to say no so he had to read it all.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I enjoy historical fiction but I don't have the patience for the research it'd require so I won't write it. uhm. idk I read various genres but I basically only write fluffy fic so :'D i do have a fantasy project in finnish but i haven't touched it in years, so idk if it counts.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

no. I love reading different styles, and I've learned a lot from just reading authors who have very different ways of saying what they want to say. but I don't want to emulate any of them. I will do what feels organic to me.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

usually on my couch in front of the tv with the laptop on my lap lol. I don't really write by hand or on my phone unless it's a random idea I need to jot down quick and I'm not on my laptop then. the tv is always on, i need the background noise.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

lmao well that is the million dollar question, isn't it. usually going for a walk with the dog or on a longer car ride alone helps, it forces me to spin things in my brain bc there's nothing else to do. (but it can also backfire and I spiral into never wanting to write again lol) inspiration strikes at very random moments tbh. i haven't yet found much rhyme or reason in that.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

at the core, it's always about love and acceptance, learning to receive it, or craving it and not getting it. self-worth. loneliness. finding your support system. idk in general I am happy with my life but I do get lonely often and it shows, because if I can't get a good cuddle from someone who loves me then damnit the character i'm writing about sure as hell will get it! :'D

What is your reason for writing?

there are stories inside of me that need a way out.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

uhm. I want them to feel the feelings i'm trying to get across with my words. connect with the characters. and enjoy the story I want to tell.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

characterization and dialogue. soft moments where people connect. pacing, usually. hm.

How do you feel about your own writing?

i don't care how selfish this sounds lmao they're the stories i want to read and i love them. simple as that. i give me exactly what i want :'D

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

so this is my biggest weakness when it comes to writing because i can not write only for myself. i can't be a "desk drawer writer" (like the saying goes in finnish lol). that is precisely why I haven't made any progress with my fantasy trilogy (lol) in finnish in years and years, because no one i know wants to read it (fantasy is not their genre, no shade to them). i need an audience, even if it's just one person! but at the same time i am not willing to budge on what i think makes a good story lol. so in a way i do write what makes me happy but to find the motivation to finish things i'd also need to find someone who gives a crap.

but anyway.

not tagging anyone, do it if you feel like it and say i tagged you! ;)

[never-ending-daydream]

Well hello to you~! My name's Liberty; I'm a woman with She/Her pronouns, & I'm here to gush about my Trainer shenanigans!

I'm not much of a battler tbh, but I am an avid explorer of the regions! I've been hovering around Alola & Pasio lately, but I like to hop around from place-to-place!

I guess I'd be considered a "faller" on here, but I didn't really fall into the Pokéverse, you know? I came here of my own volition! Normally this isn't something I'd brag about, but seeing as Rotomblr is basically an interdimensional hub, I assume that'd be fine to tell! Just... uh... if you're from my side of the multiverse and see this... no you don’t-

Anyways, content on here will include stories from my travels, transcripts of my Pokémon's tomfoolery, random art/photos I like, & misc. thoughts of mine! Maybe I'll make some ask-games. Maybe I'll make some userboxes! We'll see what happens~!

ABOUT ME | MY TEAM | TAGGING KEY

OOC

Alright! Welcome to the blog!

This here is a Self-Insert Faller blog (my main is @libertys-lovers), which is kinda meant to double as a Self-Ship blog? Maybe? I mean, I'm mainly focusing on my Pokémon team with this, but if I get F/Os from this franchise, I plan on incorporating them into this somehow. Either way, if any of those facts make you uncomfortable, please feel free to block me! Genuinely! I understand.

I intend for this blog to remain no-stakes/low-stakes, but certain darker topics may pop up: these include Pokémon death/mistreatment, terrorism, cults, & just in-general vents (you can blame the evil teams for most of that, smh my head). However, there are also topics that are blacklisted from this blog. These include pedophilia (& its equivalents), zoophilia, Pokephilia, incest, & SA. Outside of me listing this boundary, they will not be brought up on this blog, and this list is subject to grow.

The "muse" & blog-runner are both adults, but please refrain from mentioning suggestive/NSFW topics.

Pelipper Mail/Malice is ON, though deliveries of people/creatures will be "returned". Musharna Mail/Malice is ON, but I ask that malices don't mention my blacklisted topics. Magic Anons & Union Circles are OFF. Canon Characters, Team Members, Fallers (fandom crossover, OC, & S/I), Chosens, Eeby Deebies, & Sentient Pokémon are free to interact! A little bit of IC hate or debating is fine, but I'd appreciate if it wasn't constant! I'm not looking for any drama arcs, lolol.

This technically isn't my first rodeo in the Pokemon IRL space; I used to have a blog for the previous iteration of this sona a while ago. But that was way before all of these terms (faller, eeby deeby, etc) came into common use. I've tried my best to research them all and their meanings, but if I miss anything, please forgive me!

Oh! And the userboxes/pinned banner were made by me, with a combination of official Pokemon card art, online emojis, & sprites/art from Bulbapedia!

[tewwor]

get to know the rper questionnaire .

tagging: stolt from @rcguish ! tagged by: EVERYONE!!

NAME?: ro, kc, kermit, whatever yall want

PRONOUNS?: she/they

MOST ACTIVE MUSES?: uhhh cruor, jie, jackrabbit, spencer (?)

RPG CLASS I'D BE: a little bitch— bard, lets be so fr

FAVORITE COLOR: orange! green!!! purple.....

FAVORITE TYPE OF THREAD: now, if you take a look at my powerpoint and pie chart ( points to blog ) — the consensus is fighting/action, ridiculous silly scenarios, hidden angst, hallmark romance moments, found family, and integrating your muse into one of my lores :o)

FAVORITE THING ABOUT MY MUSE: i'm just going to blab about cruor, because jie's had his time on the other blog BUT LIKE —i just think he's neat! and it's interesting ( fucked up on my part ) how his phobia of blood wasn't innate, but rather a result of having experienced death first hand and coming to realize 'oh shit, i actually died, and i can still feel flashes of it in my head, and now i'm panicking'. also, how overachieving for him isn't something necessarily good. yes, it's wonderful that he's able to heal people. but to push himself beyond what the marked tell him to look after? just because there's this drive he's applied to himself to heal as much as he can, as if he can heal himself or his mother's grief in a way? yeah, no, it's doing more harm than good. and he's kind! the sort of kind that most people might think of a too much or silly. and he's shredded as hell, lets be real here.

HOW YOU LIKE TO RP: i'm holding everyone's hands as i say this.. it's just like consulting a magic 8 ball. i'm so serious ( pensive ). sometimes quick one liners work! other times random ask memes are good! half the time it takes some plotting and getting to know my writing partner's character a bit more! a lot of time it's just yelling in dms. just depends on my brain, your preference, and the stars aligning or something.

FAVORITE PLOTS: injured or sick + someone helping them....... oh shit, i guess we're stuck in a Situation....... literally any dumb hallmark scene ( i think it's so funny )........ fake! dating!!!!!!!!! arguing / trying to pull someone's head out of their ass to help them...... showing care, in just about any form.... horror :-)

WHERE YOU GET YOUR INSPIRATION FROM: ahem, ahem, YALL!!! we're all lil' creative generators here, even if it feels like you're in a slump! i can say with full confidence that all of my mutuals have wonderful, fantastic characters and worlds they bring to life!!! also, podcasts, the few films or tv shows i come by, books.. sometimes......... fever dreams and dreams in general tbh

FACT ABOUT YOU: the ogs know this, but i thought i could crack a glowstick with my teeth. i was right. i also happened to ingest half of the liquid inside because i bit into it too much :o)