#just rambley personal thoughts

[galacticlamps]

ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--

But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.

And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.

That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.

Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.

And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"

So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.

Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.

[cosmicaces]

let's talk about pino!

according to the whm booklet, rody's quirk is always active. she isn't always present, though. from what we can see in the movie, pino primarily nests in rody's hair!

so... is there a trend?

obviously she hops out when a strong emotion flares up, but it seems like she's also more likely to be out and about when he's feeling relatively safe/comfortable? she's present when he says goodbye to his siblings, she's present when they're settling down for that first night on the run, she's present when they're in the hotel, etc. etc.

there are only a few times where pino is present during an action scene. the first instance is, of course, during the first chase scene when she flew out to stop deku. she briefly remained out, notifying rody that they were still being chased before disappearing. she appears again when he's going down the rail, disappears, and then comes out of his hair again to check on him after he was almost crushed by falling debris.

pino was not present during the attempted betrayal. after leading deku to him, we can presume that, offscreen, she returned to his hair or went into his hood. the next time she comes out is when rody finally warms up to deku in the cave scene.

it's also worth noting that she is not present during the following villain encounter, only coming out for introductions when their safety was guaranteed.

honestly, the only time we actually see pino in harm's way is during the battle with flect, and that was because rody relied on her to not only signal deku, but to catch the flash drive.

why am i talking about this? well, and this is a far-fetched assumption that's going to get into more headcanon/character interpretation territory, but hear me out:

pino is very similar to something from another property: the daemons from his dark materials. for anyone unaware: daemons are the physical manifestation of a person's soul and take the form of an animal. they mirror the way their human interacts with others and can provide emotional insight into how their human is feeling, which is... like i said before, VERY similar to how pino functions.

with this in mind, one has to wonder if their similarities end there or if, potentially, pino shares some other functionalities as a daemon. namely... if pino gets hurt, can rody feel it?

i know that her main function as a quirk is to articulate rody's feelings. still, her tendency to stay out of harm's way really makes you think, especially since we don't see her get injured at any point. little roughed up, sure! but not injured.

[cathedralight]

arata is super interesting because at first he has shifts in disposition that feel almost inconsistent—he can be super sweet and earnest, cold and withdrawn, fiery and competitive, lots of juxtaposed traits etc etc—but all these facets of his personality simply stem from the traumas and experiences he’s been through 1) before the start of chihayafuru and 2) during the story. 

in his first appearance, arata is already established as shy and guarded around new people, which is only reinforced by being bullied by his classmates at his new school. not only has he internalized that karuta is the one thing he is good at in life, and it’s the only thing where his dream (and NEED) is to be the best—but besides the obvious connection to his grandfather’s expectations, a subset of this is that his grandfather tells him that he can make friends playing karuta. unfortunately, as soon as arata moves he’s bullied for literally everything, and excelling at karuta only further alienates him from his peers.

this pattern continues throughout his adolescence, even after he’s made a life long connection with chihaya and taichi: karuta alienating him from others when it was supposed to bring him friendship and connection. along with the trauma of watching his grandpa die (+ arguably blaming himself for his death) and the following grief, it’s honestly not surprising that arata becomes isolated, emotionally closed-off, and at times cold or insensitive. those experiences would harden anyone, especially a sixteen-year-old. he was treated like an outcast as a child, lost touch with his friends due to distance, and struggled to find community within his passion that’s often incredibly lonely. all of these factors make arata emotionally guarded. he’s quick and impulsive to lash out because he doesn’t feel safe and comfortable until he trusts people. 

even though arata is so kind at heart and really earnest with people he knows well (i.e. chihaya and taichi), just like many characters his experiences and subsequent insecurities/fears haven’t left him unaffected—and i love that we see that thread of his development come up so early on.

[supernuttyninja]

It’s actually really important to me that people are allowed to feel at the least ambivalent to a piece of media without having to give reasons. Also if they don’t like it! Goodness knows there’s things I see for media I’ve interacted with that at the point I’m at I just go. Meh. And move on. Maybe I liked it at one point, maybe I even loved it, but now I’m ambivalent at best and simply dislike it at worst. And most people would say that’s totally fine.

But the thing is the media will usually end up being a popular piece with fans and meaning behind it that if you say you don’t like it, it may mean you’re completely against it. And that’s not true at all, at least not for me. It’s like when someone cooks a meal for you that you don’t personally enjoy. That doesn’t mean I don’t acknowledge that it’s a pretty good dish overall, even if it’s something I don’t personally enjoy.

Idk. I just think people shouldn’t have to justify every aspect of what they like and dislike about a piece of media.

[bamsara]

Very personal vent, will nuke it after a nap I think

2024 was arguably one of the worst years of my life outside of having my heart and brain issues from 2020. I left an abusive situation, still recovering from it, left a *second* toxic friendship that resulted in my physical location being compromised, and right as I think 2025 will be better, one of them comes uninvited into my house *again*, and my step father gets diagnosed with heart failure, with the same exact issues that killed my birth dad. We had to buy a wearable difibulator since it can go out any moment

All that and we are in a hell recession

I am constantly afraid, both in online and in real life spaces. I dont think I have social anxiety in a normal sense, I think im really good at talking to people, but I'm never fast at it and I'm never natural at it.

I constantly worry about taking up too much space and that people I've never met online fucking hate me because I exist in the same sphere as them, that there are preconceived ideas of who or what I am as a person because I'm not seen as a person in the online space but just as a creator, and online: creators are not considered people. I wish some of my stuff never got popular, even SL, not that I don't like talking about what I'm passionate about, but I'm constantly afraid of crossing that line of 'random artist' into being seen as 'self absorbed big shot' because I posted too many au dumps or got too rambley. And if I talk about this, I fear any reassurance I get will because of those prior factors

I've thought about deleting this account before a long while ago, but then I'd lose Everything I've ever done for over 10 years. Not just artwork and community but real life milestones and memories and that's not worth losing over some stressful situations

I genuinely do not understand why we cannot be nice to each other either. I know it's a very vague and general statement and I feel like hard to explain what I mean by that, but I cannot imagine passive aggression, comparison or general rudeness to be the 'default' way people talk! I am so tired of people being mean for fun or to feel like they fit in on a conversation! And I'm not even recieving the mean, I just witness it and its upsetting! Real life and Online! But don't listen to me on that because I want people who've probably don't like me to like me and seek validation from people I have differences with so I am not a good example of judgement.

And my health I'm not even gonna touch that one. But at least I'm working on dental stuff, which is nice. I got health insurance again, right as they go to cut medicaid.

But in my mind I cannot stop thinking about if I can just get better at what I'm doing. If I can get better at artwork that I hate my style of, it's never polished and there's people younger than me who's work is so much better. If I can just write faster or draw better and remember to post things then I don't have to worry about anything else. But I've been drawing for so so long, and my art style that I've put so much time into I feel is the equivalent of a learn-how-to-draw-anime workbook you get in a middle school library. And yes I've been told it's good but all art is good. All art styles are good styles. I just don't like it when I'm the one who draws it.

In the last 12 months I've been IRL stalked, family medical, helping support them with what I do make and also myself and literally every coping hobby I have and have had for over a decade just feels more and more like I'm never improving fast enough or that I just Care Too Much at my big age and I should be doing something more substantial with my life, but if I don't craft something or draw or write even if I despise it in the end then it's so much worse

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

Some thoughts on Indigo Park!

Absolutely DELIGHTFUL little thing. It seems both fun to play and watch, which can be quite a feat in mascot horror!

Rambley is a baby and I want to protect him so so so so much. The game would feel so empty without him, and I'm glad it didn't focus on any unecessary "gameplay" gimmicks. Just you walking around the park and listening to this silly little guy is enough;

Lloy's session was the creepiest one, not necessarily thanks to pure horror, but more about anticipation. I loved all of his little apparitions. He's not scary, he just looks like a big and silly creature and I really, REALLY enjoyed his design;

The game's humor is delightful. I think there's a Portal inspiration there on how a semi-omnipotent AI delivers their lines to the non-verbal main character, and I love it;

The ending song!!!!!! It's so cute!

I love how the player character doesn't speak, but their personality is still shown through little animations and in-game text;

As someone who knows a bit about theme park ride accidents I can say that I am VERY excited to see where the devs will take the park setting to!

Overall, a very fun game. Not very creepy, but a delightful experience nonetheless. I'm excited to see more!

[whatdoyouseemartin]

i think it mostly stems from a misinterpretation of this exchange specifically in mag 122 - given that we as the audience already know that jon's been undergoing a transformation throughout s3, georgie's (rightful) guess that he's Not Quite Human comes off as somewhat... accusatory? again this is a completely reasonable reaction to seeing a friend who's been slowly losing his mind wake up after a six month coma during which he had no pulse but her less-than-warm comments just off the back of the last few episodes in which jon was straight up not having a good time does sort of paint her as unsympathetic to his suffering.

also - to georgie's mind jon put himself in this situation. of course she isn't aware of the ramifications of being tied to the Institute or his compulsion to feed as the Archivist; all she sees is someone who she loved going a very bad way that she repeatedly warned him to move on from, but who then subsequently betrayed her trust and later wound up in this state of undeath with a trail of dead people behind him. her decision to distance herself from him was always going to look bad given how s4 progresses but she absolutely made a reasonable call here. at no point does she ever wish anything on him except to get better!

and I know I say this every time I relisten but I shrimply do not know where so many people got the idea that georgie told jon he should have died instead of waking up. she does not say that or imply that anywhere in the text. she's not particularly gracious or warm when he awakes, but that's significantly farther than anything she actually does. it's not even like no one says that to him, melanie does in mag 123, but how did this end up getting attributed to georgie so commonly? I've seen people say "she literally told him to his face that she wishes he'd died" so often that I've honestly wondered if there's a fic out there that captured the voices so well that people got it mixed up with a real scene.

[alexanderlightweight]

I’ve been thinking about your prompt where Alec is not a morning person in the petals vs and it’s started a bit of a spiral lol. What happens when Alec wakes up first?

I headcannon that Magnus has deep abandonment issues, especially with past lovers leaving before he wakes whether from being one night stands or partners who assume that they should leave and let him rest since he’s so busy. Not realizing he wakes to a cold bed and his wards letting him know someone has left. This leads to him covering Alec with tracking charms and other spells so they can never be forcefully separated even by death. (I also hc that Alec texts Magnus updates when he’s had to change areas unexpectedly when patrolling or called in for meetings so Magnus doesn’t panic when the trackers go to areas where Alec hadn’t told him he’d be)

So what happens when Alec wakes first? Does he wake Magnus enough to let him know he’s going to the other room and make enough noise to let Magnus know he’s there? Does he stay reading reports or books til Magnus stirs? Some third option I’m not creative enough to come up with?

Sorry this was so long and rambley I’ve just had thoughts. I hope you’re able to find some inspiration from this and if not that’s fine! Can be sfw or nsfw

this is specifically petals verse and for the most part, it would take until Magnus and Alec were super close for Magnus to not notice him leaving. because of how high strung everyone is. so this is kind of worse because it doesn't happen until after their relationship is pretty steady which means it hits Magnus harder. it also doesn't happen super early on because 1) Magnus is going to want to wake first during the first few months of a shadowhunter relationship no matter how much he likes and trusts Alec its just instinct. also I feel like during the tension, Alec would tell Magnus just because of safety reasons and got distracted in times of general peace.

also no this was great I found so much inspiration, too much inspiration I got distracted by the first half and took off! I hope you enjoy!

<3 lumine

in his wake petals first

The first time Alec wakes first and leaves — deliberately slipping away without a word to tiredly deal with a problem — is the last time he makes that mistake.

The first clue is the fire messages that bombard him the same time as his phone starts buzzing.  Unfortunately that’s right when the fight starts and so Alec has to settle for snatching them out of the air and shoving them in his pocket between shooting arrows and then eventually, pulling out his own sword.

It’s a nightmare of a fight.

The sheer amount of wind and rain mean that no one can see, even with their heat runes activated, night vision runes or their second eyelids protecting their eyes, nothing helps.

Alec gets back to the Institute, hauling a bedraggled Clearwater tucked over his shoulder.  He’s still lecturing the team who did the initial raid and instead of execution of demons, instead inciting a stampede when he becomes aware that Magnus is here.

Magnus is here and without a smile or a flower to twirl flirtatiously at Alec.

Clearwater is hauled away from him by Andrew before Alec even realizes anything beyond Magnus.

It’s way too early for Magnus to be up.

The only reason Alec’s up at all is because in the sewers the demons can breed regardless of the time of day.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” Alec asks tiredly, wondering if he’s dreaming, because he tried so very hard not to wake Magnus up and Alec can’t help his pout. “You’re supposed to be sleeping.”

Magnus makes a noise that Alec can’t decipher through the exhaustion hitting him — he’d only slept two hours at most — and while he can go quite a bit longer. It’s been one of those weeks.  Whatever the noise translates to, it makes several of his shadowhunters step back, as if getting out of the way.

“I’m taking my Alexander back.”

Alec is pretty sure that sentence isn’t technically grammatically correct, but it is correct in that Alec belongs to Magnus and they’re going back somewhere. So he doesn’t say anything. Despite the fact that he suddenly has the very tired urge to tease Magnus, anything really to get that frenetic, almost desperate energy away from him.

Mirai appears and is directing the hunters and while Alec isn’t injured, he had planned on just crashing into his Institute bed.  The fact that now he gets to go back to their bed is perfect.

—-

Magnus tries very hard to breathe evenly, because Alexander is either so exhausted he’s drunk on it or his beloved is concussed. Considering that his pupils seem fine and he’s also rubbing his cheek against Magnus’ hair, he’s just tired.

Which is understandable, considering he’s been running on very little sleep and has been running an Institute struggling with a demon flu.

However, considering that Magnus woke up overheated and alone and without the heartbeat that soothes him or the body that cools him, he is not pleased.

Alexander disappeared, like a wraith into the night.  

Not just a shadowhunter but a shadow himself and Magnus hadn’t even realized he was gone.  At first Magnus had thought Alexander was just somewhere in the loft, not unusual and certainly not a problem but then the wards had echoed back hollow and empty.

Void of Alexander.

It takes a minute and a hot drink and then Alexander is the one grabbing Magnus and pulling him into a tight, nearly suffocating embrace.

Magnus closes his eyes, letting himself breath for a moment and wishing Alexander could hold him tightly enough that they could never part.

“I didn’t even realize you were gone from the loft.” Magnus finally lets out a secret he doesn’t wish to part with. “I woke up to find you missing, darling. Like you’d left me. Please. Wake me next time.”

“I will.” Alexander promises, even though just words will never be enough for the hollow panic gnawing at Magnus’ bones. “We’ll fix it, tomorrow. Okay?”

The ‘okay’ Magnus echoes back feels as hollow as his heart and sleep comes slowly, despite how easily Alexander rests in his arms.

—-

Alec wakes up first again.

He’s not really sure how or why since he prefers to wake after Magnus — despite sometimes lacking in cuddles — and he’s exhausted.

Still.

However this does give him a bit of time and he knows exactly what he wants and needs to do, for both Magnus and his sake.

Enough of his weapons are decorated with the stone he’s looking for that he can summon an old, family dagger and use one of his arrowheads to pry it off with.  After that all it takes is a quick slash of the point of his stele against his palm and then he’s holding the crystal tightly.

One minute turns into ten and then Magnus is waking up, rustling with movement and his golden eyes are sharp even as his voice is hoarse with sleep.

“Are you bleeding in my bed?”

“Isn’t it my bed too?” Alec asks gently, keeping his voice soft and light and full of love.

Magnus gives him a dark glower, clearly not pleased with the manipulation that’s already working on him.

“It’s only your bed when you behave and do things like ‘not bleed without permission’.” Magnus huffs and Alec wants desperately to continue teasing him, however Magnus is clearly at his limit.

“I was making something for you, I figured you’d rather I bleed in bed than risk waking with me somewhere else again.”

Magnus’ fingers tighten around his ribs and that’s all the answer Alec needs.

“Continue.”

“We both know that nephilim are hard to track, especially without a bloodstone.” 

Magnus nods in agreement and then his eyes spark with delight and wonder, not dread. 

“Did you make me such a crystal, darling?”

Alec knows this is just the beginning.  

Offering this isn’t just a one time thing.  

Magnus is going to take it as the permission it’s meant to be.  Alec won’t be getting out of here without Magnus’ magic on him or in him one way or another, yet that’s all he wants in life.

Magnus shouldn’t have to fight his own instincts and fears. Alec doesn’t yet know all the trauma that Magnus’ heart holds but he knows enough to know that Magnus has needs he doesn’t understand.

And Alec knows enough that if he wants Magnus to be confident in not only himself, but their relationship, then he needs to take the first step this time.

“I did. We take the same type of crystal as the tip of a stele and share blood with it until the color has changed completely.  It’s mostly used in heirlooms but also to track loved ones.”

Alec holds his hand out, palm still bleeding and yet despite the tang of copper in the air, no blood falls past his clenched knuckles.  Slowly he opens his fingers and there, pressing like an oath to an open cut, the crystal drinks greedily from Alec’s veins.

-

AN: Magnus also starts getting cc'd in patrol emails by Mirai and co at the Institute. basically he gets the routes and rundowns of Alec's patrols to help him keep track.

i also headcanon that at one point he has a magical map of New York in his office connected to the leylines and Alexander's bloodstone and can see exactly where Alexander is.

magnus is a bit more hesitant about admitting just all how he wants to track Alec because 1) its pretty invasive 2) he's never actually had a partner equally want to be tracked and 3) he can't afford to do it without Alec knowing. even if alec was okay with it, in petals verse the political backlash would be pretty bad.

so this fic has Alec stepping up (because Magnus brings him flowers and smiles and safety and he wants to do the same) and basically telling Magnus 'hey, i'm going to match your intensity and protectiveness and possessiveness anyway you need.'

which Magnus is thrilled by.

from now on Alec does stuff like read, works on his tablet, he also just likes snuggling back up to Magnus. Except sometimes he does get bored and then he'll normally give Magnus some soft sleepy cheek or forehead kisses and nuzzle him until he gets a half-awake Magnus and then lets him know where he'll be (like on the roof or the other room)

if Alec is leaving the lair he wakes Magnus up full stop. like 'hi babe I know you're exhausted but i'm being called in for an emergency. i'll keep my phone on me and asmuch blood in me as I can for tracking purposes. I love you, try to go back to sleep.'

kind of a thing.

a few times Alec will just pick Magnus up and carry him to the rooftop bed or the couch in the living room. it depends on Magnus' mood the nigh before because Alec really only does that if he's too antsy to stay in bed but doesn't think Magnus will react well to an empty bed.

[duke-daemon]

hazbin hotel redesigns wooooooooo

okay so. i'm gonna discuss my thoughts about them n shit, putting under a readmore bc it's gonna get long and rambley. sorry in advance for the shit formatting, i'm on mobile </3

just some general shit about how i would rewrite it. i think the premise of redeeming sinners is entertaining but is executed horribly. i also am a fan of the "heaven isn't great either" idea but again, executed horribly. i'd make the hierarchy of angels more accurate because it's cool as hell and i have autism about it. the characters from hell would swear still (albeit not as much), but the angels would outright refuse to swear or make vulgar jokes ever. this would be partially to further the gap between heaven and hell and make the differences more stark.

hell would also be more like dante's inferno (again because i think its cool). the ars goetia would get a full redesign and would be more prevalent in demonic society.

now for the characters!

---

VAGGIE VALTIEL:

starting off with vaggie, or Valtiel as i've renamed her because let's be honest her original name sucks. Valtiel (Val for short) was an aspiring power angel who wanted to be an exorcist. she looked up to lute and thought the idea of killing demons was really cool and badass. however when she actually was on the field for the first time she discovered how awful this actually was. she tried to help a few demons but lute figured it out and felled her right then and there. the rest of her story is relatively the same. personality wise she's more stoic and less prone to all-out aggression. she still get angry, sure, but it's in a quieter and more menacing way. you DO NOT want to fuck with Valtiel.

CHARLIE:

next up is charlie! i had two ideas for her. the first one (unsettling drawing) has her as a mannequin/doll type demon. lucifer and/or lilith was unable to conceive and as such they built a kid from scratch. she's overall similar to og charlie personality wise, very kind and cheerful despite her unsettling appearance. she struggles with empathy sometimes but really does mean well. her motive for rehabilitating sinners is so they get to see their family again. being able to see heaven from where they are in hell must make them sad, so she wants to help make them happy again!

the second idea for charlie has her as an angel. specifically i casted her as a dominion angel due to their reputation as holy judges. she was once a demon but has been rehabilitated and has risen into angelhood! she now wants to help her former kin do the same and redeem themselves in heaven's gaze. again, similar cheery personality, but a bit more prudish in this rendition

tangent time!

as a side tangent, valtiel and charlie would have a different relationship in this rewrite. their relationship felt shoehorned in in the original show, like it was just there for the hell of it. we didn't see much development between them and it just felt kinda bland. so in my rewrite, charlie and valtiel are amiable exes. they tried dating when valtiel first fell (when charlie was still a demon in the charlie-angel version) but realized their feelings for each other were much more platonic than romantic. they ended things off on good terms, deciding they were much better as friends. they are still besties to this day! later charlie ends up with emily (or 'ellie' as i plan to rename her)

back to the characters

Alastor:

note: i made alastor mixed-race, which could be seen as bad by some due to vivzie saying he's black. however, as many have pointed out, he has no ethnic features whatsoever and i honestly wouldn't be surprised if she said that just to get away with using voodoo symbols (a closed religion) in his imagery/design. like viv, i am incredibly white and have little to no knowledge of voodoo, and even if i did i would not use it for something like this anyways due to the stigma the religion already has and (again) it being a closed practice. as such i removed it from his concept altogether, but made him mixed race (white passing) because.. why not i guess, i forgor my actual reasoning

with that being said...

alastor is by far my favorite of the redesigns and i'm honestly tempted to turn him into a legally distinct oc. i imagine he's somewhat reserved, along the lines of norman bates albeit a bit more extroverted. during his life he was a serial killer with a day job as a radio announcer. he took pleasure in reporting about his own murders on the radio, but that is eventually what got him caught (ie accidentally letting slip info that wasn't released to the public). as a result he was sentenced to death. upon arriving in hell, he quickly rose through the ranks to borderline overlord status and is a feared presence by demons and sinners alike. why is he bothering to assist in the hotel project? who knows... his motives are a mystery, like the rest of what he does

(he isn't actually alastair crowley i just thought the naming convention was ironic. however he may have also dabbled with satanic magic in lifetime..)

Angel Dust:

TW: brief discussion of SA

this is definitely my second favorite redesign. i loooove insect themes and wanted to do more than just Extra Arms, so he now has fucked up legs and a lot of eyes too! story-wise, angel used to be a criminal mastermind, hated by both the mafia and the feds. he was a gentleman thief, arranging massive heists under the cover of night while also partaking in the occasional drag show. he ended up a cocaine addict later in life, which caused his work to become sloppier. eventually he was killed in a heist gone wrong, specifically shot by the police.

i'm not gonna go too in-depth on the SA part of his story, but he is hypersexual due to being assaulted in both his life and afterlife. it would be something he'd be working on in the rewrite. his reason for coming to the hotel in the first place may have even been for help with this trauma. underneath his sultry exterior is a broken guy who really just needs someone to care about him for who he really is and not for what his body can do.

LUTE:

so lute and adam are some of the characters i have the most gripes about. the biggest one being why viv chose adam as the leader of the exorcists in the first place. if she wants a biblical figure tied to demon killing, Archangel Michael is RIGHT THERE, aka the one destined to kill satan during the events of Revelations. if she wants the first human to die, that would be Abel, not Adam. and i kinda doubt abel would want to do the stuff that HH!adam has been doing. if she wants an angel related to torture, Dumah is her guy! an angel that rules over wicked souls and tortures sinners every day except sabbath. so many better options...

with that out of the way, Lute is still the lieutenant of the exorcist, who are a specially chosen group of powers sent to purge hell once a year. think navy seals. she's pretty much the same as in the show, albeit more muscular and visually different from other exorcists (seriously why do they all look exactly the same?????) she's a very repressed lesbian who hasn't had time to work on that due to her duties

i also redesigned the exorcist uniform/armor because those LED purge masks are fugly as hell and their clothes don't even look remotely like armor.

Adam + Final Thoughts

i did start a redesign of adam but got bored of it. regardless, i think he'd be the head of C.H.E.R.U.B. instead of the exorcists. he doesn't want his children to make the same mistakes he and eve did, so together they started C.H.E.R.U.B. to help lost souls stay out of hell

final thoughts uhhhh i'm tired. show sucks, it had so much potential but viv ruined it by being a shitty writer and an even shittier person. the designs are fine i guess but they all look exactly the same and are in desperate need of variety. the humor is dogshit, saying dick and balls and penis over and over and over again doesn't make it any funnier than the first three times you made that joke. anyways that's it, i hope you liked my inane ramblings. gonna go vanish for another forty years or so, adios

[phoenixglacier]

Do you actually think that like in the lore our sweet little bard would have voted to destroy a nation? I do see the evidence for that take it lines up. but it just seems so discordant with his character

Hi. Asking me a question just gives me permission to ramble even more. Apologies in advance.

I have no faith in my ability to predict anything canonically whatsoever. If Genshin wanted to give Venti the ability to shapeshift into a cat in the next update I'm sure we could find a goblet or something somewhere in the game that backs it up. So I don't really have a strong opinion on whether this is what the developers intended as canon.

However, in terms of whether I think it's compatible with his character, I don't think it's that much of a stretch. I kind of covered in my rambley little posts about this, but to sum up what I'm about to say here, I think the fact that it's so unlike him is exactly what makes this interesting.

In a way, Venti's the most godlike in how he helps his people. He performs "miracles" that others cannot, talking to dragons, summoning wind currents, and ferrying souls into the afterlife. He is invested in the emotional wellbeing of his people and spends the first part of his story quest trying to understand them. When he asks Flora about her imaginary friend, his voice turns gentle and serious compared to when he's speaking with Traveler. When Dvalin was attacking Mondstadt in the Prologue, Venti was adamant that he would not kill Dvalin. He firmly believed in his ability to resolve the entire situation peacefully, even when his people didn't necessarily agree.

The way he helps his people, allowing them to find their own way, never truly imposing his own opinions on them, and appearing to want to connect to them as humans, makes it feel unthinkable that he would take such active, drastic action. It feels like Venti is both unlikely to take drastic action and unlikely to be cruel. He has a reputation as a kind, gentle, benevolent god. As a character who is kind, loving, and larger than life, we expect Venti stands for all the right things that we personally have decided are right in our morals.

It would make Venti a flawed god to be kind only to his own people, to consider the citizens of Mondstadt to be more worthy of happiness than those outside its bounds, to choose to sacrifice others for the sake of his own. If he's this kind to his own children, one might expect him to be just as kind to others. It would be incongruent with Venti's image as a champion of freedom, opposer of tyranny, gentle wind of spring, if he was able to turn a blind eye to the suffering of others. He is so so emotional when he sees his people struggling. Surely, surely, this applies to all of humanity, as it should?

There are at least three great stories in Mondstadt and Venti's history that involve felling a singular evil for the sake of Mondstadt. The first is Decarabian, the second is the Lawrence clan, and the third is Durin. Though the Church of Favonius often talk about Barbatos' forgiving nature, Venti is quick to villainise these actors in history and pin them as warnings to his people.

I think it would be easy for Venti to have made this terrible, cruel choice and regret it far, far too late. I think we are all faced with unclear choices everyday, with stakes that are merely not the same. I think to those alive in the time of the war, this would have been almost like the trolley problem - People are going to die. Is it our right to choose who that is? Maybe some gods thought that they could beat the Abyss in a fight, maybe some gods thought their nations were far enough away that they would survive, maybe some gods thought with a little more research they would stumble upon a yet-unknown but ideal solution. Maybe Venti was thinking logically when he made this choice, or maybe he was emotional and unusually bitter, or maybe it was both.

But I'd tell you that his sweet, kind nature is exactly why I like the idea that he has such a thing to be responsible for. A character like Venti who would be crushed under the weight of doing something that he realises is so antithetical to the person he wants to be is interesting. Doesn't it inform how we view his insistence that he stay out of his people's lives? His conviction that he is no better a ruler, that the lives of millions of people should never be decided by the cold-hearted or emotional whims of one person? He fears becoming just like Decarabian, the dictator he overthrew. He fears becoming like the aristocracy, who trampled upon others while performing the festivals that he designed, the dances that he made, the clothes that he wore too, the flamboyant culture he was so so proud of, now symbols of oppression. By his friend's side he killed the dragon that was terrorising his people, and then Dvalin awoke following in Durin's footsteps. A god who looks back on his three thousand year history and remembers all his failures first. A god who always thinks twice before he speaks, who never wants to give an order, who longs for the innocence of the wishes of children. A god whose decisions have resulted in terrible, long-lasting consequences. Who knows that even the decision to do nothing is still a choice. There is no such thing as sitting on the sidelines as the god of Mondstadt, and Venti knows that. But that line between being a kind god and a cruel one is so blurry.

Since its introduction, Khaenri'ah has been framed as a tragedy that Teyvat as a whole is responsible for, and the urge to file it under the workings of a big bad evil simply doesn't give it as much narrative weight as it has held for all this time up until now. Allowing the archons to continue taking responsibility for their part in it keeps Khaenri'ah a complex storyline even after the veil of mystery has been removed.

Faced with the simple fact that Khaenri'ah was destroyed, Traveler immediately knows it's wrong. It's wrong because all these human beings lost their lives, and that in itself is sad and cruel. But it's also wrong because the decision was not made in some picture-book sacrifice of themselves for the greater good, rather the gods of other nations whose personal interests lay in protecting their own people first made the decision. Elsewhere in Teyvat, sacrificing oneself for the greater good has been necessary and acceptable again and again. It must be said that the gods had no right to make that choice on behalf of Khaenri'ah, but it's not a leap to see how they may have come to this solution, simply on a larger scale. It is easy for them to be detached, harrowed by the war, aligned by the shared enemy, grieving, fearful, and then make what they coldly believed to be a last resort, a cruel but necessary choice. They see themselves as surgeons doing an amputation, doctors sending the worst to quarantine, oncologists fighting with aggressive chemo. And then the dust settles, and they see that these were people, and that what they did cannot be taken back. That they have blood on their hands, and it haunts them. And they must ask themselves, What other choice did I have? And not as a rhetorical question, but truly, When the Abyss comes again, what other choice do I have?

We want to imagine that we are all good people, and that at the end of the story, good will defeat bad and rewards will be issued to the good, as is our ideal world order. But instead, people do things, with generous intentions, with selfish intentions, with all sorts of consequences that one can barely hope to comprehend. People screw up. People believe too much in their convictions and fail through them. People who want to be good have to work to be competent, informed, empathetic, generous, and forgiving. When a person in a position like Venti fails, the results are catastrophic, but there is no one to lay justice upon him. Only him and his own desperate desire to do better.

Isn't that so interesting?

Of course, headcanon anything you want about Venti. It's not any less canon than my opinions unless Hoyo shows it onscreen. :D

[statyx02]

Midway through writing a post about disliking Moonwatcher and Qibli’s dynamic as well as his relationship with Turtle, I was reminded of how much I really love Moon’s dynamic with Turtle so that’s what this is about instead ☝️It was really refreshing to see amongst the panic from the other character’s at Moon’s reveal, Turtle is completely at peace with it, despite believing his secret had been compromised.

One thing I noticed is that Turtle was the first to guess that Moon was a prophet and a mindreader, and I hc that a part of him hoped it was the case, that there was someone who was “like him” in a sense. In fact the only time in that scene he expresses concern is when he asks if she could read minds, in which he’s not even necessarily upset, just “looking more awake than he ever did”. It could be argued also that this line implies part of his response was in aquatic

Following this scene Turtle helps Moon clean her wound from Sora’s attack, and Moon describes feeling comforted by his presence despite her anxiety over being unable to read his thoughts and the vision of him and Anemone. I also just really like this bit theyre so :[

The fact that hes so immediately comfortable around her is so cute :[ this gets brought up with Umber at some point in Talons of Peace but Turtle misses his brothers a lot and a great deal of his interactions with others reflect this.

Turtle isn’t an immediately friendly or considerate person either, when the rest of the winglet had gone after Winter at the end of Moon Rising, Turtle repeatedly suggested they leave him be and upon finding him, acted shocked at being volunteered to help. Turtle only ever goes out of his way to help Moon and Peril like this, suggesting he just feels a sense of solidarity to others with abnormal or “scary” powers. This is somewhat backed up by him and Moon both being offended by Winter’s comment about Darkstalker having “horrible powers” at the end of Escaping Peril and earlier in Escaping Peril where he says “you’re not the only dragon I know with dangerous powers.”

Another thing I only just realized about that scene in Escaping Peril is that when Winter is panicking about Moon running off with the scroll, Turtle responds by trying to think of an alternate reason as to why Moon would have left like that. I initially considered it Turtle trying to comfort Winter, but I think a big part of it is him trying to defend Moon.

A very rambley post but theyre just so :< Turtle and Moon and Peril need more time as a trio they literally only have that one scene where Winter insults mindreaders/prophets/animus dragons and Peril chimes in about firescales

[sunset-starr]

🎶Ace attorney rants!🎶 (from someone who has been obsessed with it since the age of 5)

Ok let’s talk wrightworth! (Miles X Phoenix)

In my personal opinion: I THOUGHT THEY WERE TOGETHER WHEN I WAS 5 ONLY TO LEARN THEY AREN’T 😭🙏🏻 me, a blockhead of a 5 year old who had 0 thoughts other than “hmm i wanna play Barbie!” NOTICED THE TENSION. I genuinely don’t understand people who are like “they’re just friends tho-“ like OBJECTION‼️ have you even played the game? Like THE SECOND the unnecessary feelings line came up they became my ride or die OTP before I even knew what an OTP was. ANYWAY that’s my rambley ramble bout those two gay fucks. Court dismissed.

[njwinterquartz]

I’ve felt this way for awhile and am gonna say it again. I think Eddie should have left the show this season. While I like the potential Eddie has as a character, the show rarely uses it. And with it being Ryan as the actor yeah no I don’t care enough about it. His story would have been better had he went to Texas for the job, would have been a better way to wrap it up. I get not wanting to get rid of two mains the same season, but to me in my personal opinion it would have been better if he had left too.

More rambley thoughts about Ryan and the stuff he said under the line,

I’m not surprised he did it, because one let’s be honest it’s very very obvious when he doesn’t try and two his ego. I’m not saying he’s the worst out there with his ego but he’s one of the later mains to come in and isn’t as big of a name compared to say Jennifer love Hewitt who also came in in season two. Sooo like yeah the others will get more first. That list is there for a reason. I’m also not not saying he doesn’t have an ego problem because it was a dick thing to say when you still have the job.

And I get when you feel like you aren’t being respected you don’t want to put maximum energy into it and I’m not saying he’s should be intentionally disrespected. But once again this is Ryan, I can’t make myself care all that much. Also if i can be completely blunt he’s definitely the weakest acting in my opinion, he has his moments but a lot of the time it’s few and far between. So I could see some of it being cut because it wasn’t great and other things took higher precedent.

And if I’m being honest again while sometimes they definitely did put Eddie to the side, other times they did put the time into Eddie and his story. It’s a balance, one that the show struggles with but still. Plus what he’s describing isn’t really exclusive to him. Hen this season was back burner a whole lot more than she should have been. That’s just the show having bad time management for all their characters, not just Ryan and not just Eddie.

[dreamwreaver]

The way the pilot showed how Hazbin Hotel was going to be like, it felt like it was supposed to use Charlie and Alastor's dynamic a lot. I thought the series were going to play off on their polarizing morals and approaches to handling the hotel. Especially when the title of the series itself reflects that.

"Hazbin" is Alastor's little joke of a name and a label to the residents, how he views redeeming sinners as a funny sight to see yet very fitting as those "has beens" (washed up drunks, drug addicts, criminals) will become better versions of those "has beens," a drug addict now able to handle their addictions and be more happier kind of "has been".

"Hotel" is the physical representation of Charlie's dream, it's symbolizing a safe, relaxing place where people can take time to rest, leave their baggages and calm themselves from their life of stress and come out of the hotel a new person, free from stress and ready to return to life (ascend to heaven redeemed) with a fresher outlook on life.

Together, "Hazbin Hotel" serves as haven for those who come from a troubling and dark history having to come to terms with how they've destroyed their lives with their past actions but given a chance to start anew.

Hazbin Hotel, at least in season 1, should have been about Charlie and Alastor arguing about how they should run their establishment with their ideas, only for them to work together and combine their assets and abilities to get the best outcome for their residents. The song "Heaven 2 Hell" handled their dynamic well and showed us how Hazbin Hotel could have been.

-rambling nonnie

Hey there Rambley!

I can't agree more. As fun as Hazbin in its current form is, I can't help but get the feeling that it was so rushed the emotional impact of some of the stuff they did keep in didn't hit as hard as it should have. The big things being of course the vaggie reveal and Pentious' death.

Huskerdust fans, I love you and you have my sword, however I think masquerade would have been better placed in season 2; when the Vees themselves are the main antagonists so therefore an angel centric episode would make more sense? And the accelerated timeline should have been a consequence of the trial, not an impetus for it. Charlie's whole goal is to stop the exterminations through rehabilitation right? So wouldn't it make more sense to try and get Heaven on board after the last one rather than Adam saying fuck you were doing it twice a year now? And having Charlie fail to produce any concrete evidence that rehabilitation could work coupled with the increasing population of sinners would convince Sera to allow for a bi-annual extermination? Also, how come Adam can just tell Charlie that's what he's doing? I feel like the exterminations were a thing negotiated between Lucifer and Heaven. I don't think you can just say "I wanna kill more so we're doing it twice a year now" and have it be so.

The whole point of the exterminations was population control to keep sinners from rising up to conquer heaven. Allegedly, anyways. But we know that all Hellborn are supposed to be safe since they only hunt in Pride. Obviously Lucifer cared enough to keep that little clause in there so idk, feels off.

But I digress; hazbin hotel is at its very core about the opposing views of Charlie and Alastor both being right and also both being wrong. It's about how the two of them TOGETHER are what makes the hotel work. Charlie wants to trust everyone, Alastor definitely doesn't but he's at least possessive enough to make sure that absolutely no insult to her would stand. The man took on her own DAD for Christ's sake!

[illustrationismyhaven]

doodle i'd chew off an arm and a leg to hear your thoughts about pn2. i feel we have similar gripes with it

No chewing necessary my friend I will admit first that I've always been a lot more generous with my PN2 critiques compared to other games I like because I'm actually. Lowkey scared of how the fan base will react 😭 just because Psychonauts 2 really is a good game! And I like certain aspects of it. And also a large part of the fan base really enjoys it. To say my positive thoughts first, I'm glad it exists, I'm glad it's here after a long wait, and I think it's fun to play. It's objectively a good game. A really good game.

WHICH IS WHY I will now put the rest of my rambles under a cut because I'm going to be a little more honest with my thoughts. Keep in mind that these are MY thoughts, just ME, ALONE, MY opinion.

Warning that this is very rambley. I'm sorry. I go off a few tangents. I have a lot to say since my friends and I talk about it quite a lot in my disc and a lot of the points I bring up here are stuff we talk about a lot. Quite passionately, I might add lol

Btw This all entirely about the characters, storyline, lore, etc. This isn't going to be about graphics and the way the characters look between the two games okay?........ Because both of those are WRONG and RoR is PEAK- 🙌🙌🙌

I don't think there's much I can say about the interns that hasn't already been said. I think you already know what I mean by this. While I do like the interns (Adam my beloved ♥️) they really weren't used to their full potential (<- get used to that word here.) A lot of their friendship with Raz felt very forced, it didn't feel earned at all. And don't even get me started on Raz's personality switch.

I WILL ADMIT YES. He was very cute and polite in the first game just as much, amd he wasn't entirely an asshole. However, they took the "cute" meter and cranked it up to 100% in the sequel and it kind of bothers me. It's not only in Psychonauts either! We don't really get a lot of snarky and charismatic video game protags anymore. In my indulgence in late 90s early 2000s video games, both for research and, again, my indulgence, I have found that a lot of games from those times that later got sequels in the late 2010s- early 2020s (Crash Bandicoot and Ratchet and Clank for examples) had the protagonists softened a TON. Example #1 is Ratchet, who was very witty and quippy in the earlier games. But from what I've seen in the latest installment (Rift Apart) he's not as much anymore and is a lot more... "Professional" acting. #2 In Crash 4, Crash is still very cartoony and goofy like always, but it's played off more in a "cute" kind of way, and not as much in an insane, looney-toons Tasmanian Devil kind of way, y'know? Raz, unfortunately suffered the same fate I fear, where the snark was turned down, and the cute factor up. Which really sucks, because I love snarky protagonists! Jak and Daxter, Sly Cooper, I love those games a ton! Sadly, we don't see any games like that anymore. I really would have loved if Psychonauts 2 leaned into that! Raz would not put up with the interns shit if it was still the first game. And I think the dynamics between him and the interns could have been really interesting if he was able to keep up with them!

On that note, I feel like everyone is so hard on Raz in PN2. Like Jesus christ man, give my kid a break lol. Unlike the first game where Raz was funny because of stuff he said, stuff he interacted with and the way he behaved, a lot of funny moments are at Raz's expense instead. It also really pisses me off with how much the situation with the Lady Lucktopus is held over him. We GET IT. He fucked up, he really did. But FIRST OF ALL. So did the INTERNS. But they do not get as much shit for it as he does, and it pisses me off. And it's very clear that he understands it was wrong, he understands and will never do it again, but he's still getting beat over the head with it.

Another thing (that's more nit-picky if any) is that the environments don't feel as alive as the first game. In Whispsring Rock, it feels like you're actually at a summer camp. Not only is there plenty of wildlife scampering around, but you hear and see bugs and lizards too, you can hear the trees and rushing water, kids talking in distant conversations. It's such a nice environment and I love exploring and just getting lost in it. Psychonauts 2 environments are good, but they don't feel alive. They just feel like any other video game environment to me. It doesn't pull me in much at all, which is a shame because the environments are very beautiful.

Again, possible nit-picky and not really a critique, but keep in mind again that this is all MY thoughts and MY opinion here.

I really, really need to talk about the psychic 7. I have to get my thoughts out. I. I really don't like how much of the game is about the Psychic 7 specifically. IM SORRY. I LIKE THEM A LOT, I REALLY DO.

But, first of all, something about how Ford is connected to Raz's family is really... Huh? It's such a "Never meet your heroes" moment, but also... Did we not already have that with Coach in the first game? And it all feels so. Out of left field! I dunno! But I don't like it! Eghsgshs. It's one of those big story changes/additions that makes me go back to the first game and makes me feel icky when interacting with Ford. I miss when he was just a random a silly old man not a silly old man who fucked up my family.

💧Going to splinter off on a mini-tangent here rq, but the curse too! After the reveal of the curse not being real, which is, y'know, in missable. dialog. Going back to the first game, but ESPECIALLY RoR at one point, feels weird to me! There's a specific scene in RoR near the end where the self destruct sequence is activated and the room begins flooding. The hands of Galochio appear and yadda yadda. But something about the way Raz is panicked about the water hands in that moment, how he tells himself "Don't think about the water curse" repeatedly is just. AUGH. GOD. I stay up at night thinking about it. To go back to those moments and realise that it's all not real is just... Man. And you know, I wouldn't be as butt-hurt about it if they handled they way it was reveal better. The way Ford just waves it off as "Curses aren't real, this is science!" Is like. Are you serious. Is that it?...

Another thing, on the topic of "science" is that Psychonauts 2 feels like it lost a lot of the like. Paranormal whimsy. It's all very... Scientific and straightforward. I don't know how to explain it? I just miss how in PN and RoR yeah, a lot of stuff in this universe is clearly scientific BUT there was also hint of something paranormal, and dare I say magical going on.💧

Okay, back to the Psychic 7 (or 6 or whatever idk I'm tired hsgsgsh) I actually like how we get to learn a bit more about the founding members of the Psychonauts and get to meet them. At least if it was a "bit more". What I don't like is how much of the game is centered around them at the expense of the original cast. New characters are good, and fun and all that. But... After PN1 I'm not left wanting to learn more about the Psychonauts and the founding members... I'm left wanting to learn more about Sasha and Milla, Lili, Coach and Raz! I'm left wanting to see real spy stuff! The mental part is fun too, I mean. It's literally the defining aspect of Psychonauts. But so is the spying. The Lady Lucktopus segments are my favorite because we get to be in that sneaky and stealthy environment and it is really frickin fun! I want more moments like that! Anyways uhm. Back go characters.

The original team, (Sasha, Milla, Coach and Lili. And Raz too I guess, but I'm mostly refering to these four.) who I will dub the dream team, were sidelined hard for the Psychic 7 and the interns. As I said before, I was left wanting more of them at the end of PN and I'll just say it, they were not in PN2 as much as they deserved to be. People waited 15+ years to see these characters in action again and they're just so- absent in the game! It's sad! This isn't to say that introducing new characters is bad. I think Hollis and Truman were done really well in this game, especially Hollis. I like the general Idea about the Psychic 7. But... They weren't who I wanted a sequel for.

But you know what large group of new characters I would have wanted more of that weren't in the first game? The Aquatos. My God, they are literally one of the biggest ties within the story in PN2 and yet they still went so underutilized. Dare I say, in favor of the Psychic 7...

Theres sooo much stuff in the Li-po doc about Raz's family and just the Psychonauts organization as a whole that I wish we got for the sequel. Oh man do I love the li-po doc. There's a lot of stuff from it that I prefer and enjoy much more than what we got in PN2. It's such a shame to see all those really intriguing story bits and potential lore go to waste, it really is.

I'm still left feeling unsatisfied at the end of it all, but not in the fun, "I want more!" Kind of unsatisfied like the first game. It's more like a melancholic, empty and unfulfilled feeling...

It has its own charm but its a charm so strikingly different from the original's that it feels almost disconnected entirely from the first game.

My closing thoughts are, that Psychonauts 2 is a good game. But in my eyes it's also a monument of what could have been. Of wasted potential. Of something that was great, but could have been better.

[metalphoenix]

Super heroes as an allegory for Queer and Trans Narratives

Forgive me if this is a little rambley I have already taken my sleep meds.

I was just thinking about why I like super heroes so much (they have been my special interested for probably around 8 years now) and I think because they can be seen as a queer allegory.

You have a separate life, one that you have to keep separate from your day to day life. That very much feels like being in the closet/mostly in the closet. That secrete life comes with a different name and different clothes. Trans people or Drag Artists anyone? Most of the time super heroes find each other and form a tight community because no civilian will understand their experiences. This mirrors queer people finding and building community. In both Marvel and DC older heroes will take younger ones under their wings to teach them and give them community. Queer people have taken me under their wing and I've done the same for others.

Theres also the isolation. Most heroes are only "out" as heroes to other heroes and maybe a few civilians they really truly trust. Or maybe no one knows. The knowledge that you have a huge secret. You are hiding a big part of your self. Maybe the part that is more you than the you everyone else knows. You know that if you tell or someone finds out, everything will change. Others may or may not except that part of you. You may loose people you love. Maybe the people who are close to you are pro heroes (Ned from Spiderman) or maybe they are not (Foggy from Daredevil) but either way there will always be a possibility of rejection.

The danger of being a hero also lines up. They wear masks, cowls, helmets, disguises etc, to hide their identities because if people knew they and the people they love would be in danger. Heroes who's identities are known (either by their own volition or someone else's) are also in danger. Batman keeps his and his kids identities under lock and key because everything goes wrong when the wrong person finds out. Jessica Jones does not because she's tired of hiding. Queer people weather in or out of the closet are also in danger of being outed. I've been outed before and it ruined one relationship and almost ruined another. I've lost friends and family because of being queer and nonbinary and I'm from a pretty liberal area. Just look up death, houselessness, rape, unemployment, suicide statistic etc. All of them are higher for queer, trans and intersex folks.

The last parallel I can think of is how both super heroes and queer/trans people exist outside of the system/establishment. Heroes and vigilantes work outside of the justice system because in most cases because they see it doesn't work. They are usually at risk of arrest by cops or in danger from the government (the Sokovia accords are a good example of this). Queer people exist outside of many establishments: The gender binary, amatonormativity, heteronormativity, the sex binary, etc. Queer people are also at greater risk of arrest and experiencing police violence.

IDK these are just my thoughts. I hope everything made sense. If you can think of any other ways super hero narratives mirror lgbtq experiences feel free to put them in the notes! (or not its whatever)