#just putting my family business on tumblr dot com

[kiras-monkey-bum-face]

ordered food because my period is fucking around making me ravenous and my mum made a comment but instead of being ashamed I clapped back and she was SILENCED for the first time in my 24 years of living

[johnnyutah]

average adam faulkner stanheight fan: if adam isn’t in saw xi we riot! @lionsgate @kevingruetert @jameswan #adamlives #justiceforadam #corpseinconsistencies

average john kramer fan: What people don’t realize about John, is he’s such a genius that even when he makes mistakes, he planned on making the mistakes. He is the greatest villain of all time

average jill tuck fan: Appreciation post for the Women of Saw 🩷 [the same ten photos that get posted once a week]

average lawrence gordon fan: last night i watched a 2004 tv movie about serial killers called ‘the riverman’, followed by the cheesy family rom-com ‘a castle for christmas’. today my friends and i are going to binge the entire third season of netflix’s ‘stranger things’. none of us have seen a single episode of the rest of the show and we don’t plan on it. then we might rewatch ‘another country’ together

average amanda young fan: sorry i haven’t been online in 4 weeks i’ve been too busy trying to get the new pig cosmetic in the rift [posted 7 weeks ago]

average mark hoffman fan: [underneath a gifset of costas mandylor in a republican christian propaganda ‘sci-fi’ movie] #hes so fucking hot #i would give anything to put him in a sports bra and make him do jumping jacks in front pf me i would literally do #ANYTHING #i need to make him into a marionett and fist him lol

average daniel rigg fan: Here’s a quick low effort doodle I did of Daniel! I just love him so much ❤️ [a literal masterpiece, the best art you’ve ever seen in your entire life] [3 notes]

average allison kerry fan: i am hardcore attached to ONE ship which is probably either allison/amanda or allison/lindsey and my whole blog is devoted to them. there are dozens of us DOZENS

average lynn denlon fan: okay so i know bahar is a realtor now but in her last instagram post where she’s congratulating her son on some new achievement, both the first and last words in the post have 11 letters, AND there’s an X and an I visible in the background of her post 👀?? is this a reach???

average jeff denlon fan: No seriously let me finish seriously when you compare him to the other shitty men in Saw he’s NOT that b

average david tapp fan: i’m 39k away from publishing my 40k tappsing Everybody Lives AU <3 this is going to be epic [account has been deactivated for an indeterminate amount of time]

average brit stevenson and mallick scott fan: Hey I stayed up making this instead of writing my thesis paper for grad school. Here’s a 30,000 word document about the implications of Brit’s promotion within the Marshford group and how it would lead to her eventual demise and also how she rose to the top in her group. It also delves into her relationship with Mallick, whose existence, I believe, is an obvious literary reference to an ancient Roman play read by only me and three other people currently alive. I translated relevant passages and included them in my work. I got understimulated around page 8 so I did take a break to pierce myself in the same spot that I believe Mallick would have a piercing. If you read my fics on AO3 you will already be familiar with the location.

average peter strahm fan: haha peter does CRACK cocoaine haha i think he sniffeds some drugs! why else would he be so MANIC HYPER CRAZY!!! i love my crazy JUNKIE man LOL get him some andderall STAT!! if hoffman didn’t kill him the SPEED certianly would of! LOL!

average lindsey perez fan: i love lindsey perez i’m such a big fan of the character lindsey perez

average matt gibson fan: i literally would eat garbage out of a dumpster

average ezekiel banks fan: holy shit i just finished spiral what a good movie what the hell!!! what a cool addition to the saw universe! i bet everybody else loves this as much as i do! let me take a big drink of water as i check tumblr dot com to see all the nice things people will have to say about darren lynn bousman’s Spiral

average william schenk fan: my hobbies include: being a fujoshi,

average cecelia pederson fan: [pic of cecelia yanking on the metal loop around her neck and smirking] https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vT3f5IIzt5PG-M7G9_Z-gjY4gZaiUneTdMlYrFAcdBGcJo0-N-RDQcj2JfxOaBTxKa6J_DiDQNgqVpg/pub

average logan jigsaw fan: What people don’t realize about John, is he’s such a genius that even when he makes mistakes, he planned on making the mistakes. He is the greatest villain of all time

[fizzlo-and-the-cubes]

alr to help with the Great QSMP Content Drought of 2024 im gonna empty all the death family headcanons in my brain onto this tumblr dot com post

all these are cubitos unless stated otherwise btw i just didnt want to go through and indicate every name lmao

(also to my qpr deathduo homies (luv yas) I'm a bit of a romantic pissa truther so be warned about that)(but i also suck at writing romance so it's pretty subtle also most of these are about chayanne)

remember last year when Chayanne was almost always asleep because the admin was too busy? i think that his ties to death pulled his conscious into Kristin's domain whenever he slept, so he just spent his time chilling over there (i simply choose to ignore the fact that she isn't canon)

Tallulah can clearly see and hear spirits, all her brother can see are blurry figures and the occasional whisper

Chay's wings started growing feathers very early on, Phil had to pretend he had no idea where they came from whilst also assuring a heavily sobbing Missa that he didn't cheat on him

no one has known fear like a fed worker that tried to touch Chayanne's wings in the early days and almost lost their hands to a newly-grounded crow

unrelated to that Philza Minecraft puts the 'death' in 'death-glare'

Chayanne's first attempts of jumping off the wall on day one were baby-crow instincts but after that he was just doing it for his dads' reactions

Chayanne knows the blade, but he knows strategy far better - both draw blood in the end, regardless

Juanaflippa was the best at swimming, then Leonarda, then Chayanne

when they learn to fly, Chayanne is the best, then Tallulah, then Pomme

Leonarda wonders why bother flying when she has a cloud to do it for her

Chayanne wants to fly just as much as Tallulah, but she's more vocal about it since her brain is experiencing crow instincts for the first time

Phil taught Pomme how to aim

Phil has dreamed about his kids in his hardcore world more than once

Richarlyson was the one who cut Tallulah's hair short (THANK GOD HE DIDN'T LEARN FROM MIKE)

Tallulah often put flowers in her hair when it was longer, so she sneaks some into everyone else's now that its short

Chayanne can summon his mask over his face (like the Visoreds from Bleach. this is because i like Bleach and will put as many references as i want)

Phil acts more short-tempered than before, and the roses have started to wilt

upon arriving on a reset island, Phil finds Missa hanging off of a rose branch

i hc Missa's face to be similar to bad's since they're both reapers (so a black void with two white eyes and nothing else) but instead of horns Missa has flowy, almost mist-like hair that fades to cyan at the ends

Phil saw it for the first time at the prison when Missa's mask and hood slipped off in his sleep (entirely Chayanne's fault) and was completely normal about it end definitely went back to sleep and didn't stay up staring between Missa's hair and the ceiling.

upon stealing a kiss from Missa, Quackity had to sit down for a few minutes because he couldn't comprehend the texture of Missa's face

Phil was fine tho. he's kissed death plenty of times

[farmerbebop]

It seems like an entire lifetime has passed since I last posted. I was back in my hometown. And here are some updates.

1. The only one who was still there, had time and was interested in hanging out with me is mostly just my dad. (You shouldn’t be so surprised to find out you are not so popular in real life if you have been blorbo posting to an audience of ten people on tumblr dot com). I spent most of the time at home listening to him talking about everything and eating with him. That’s something he can’t expect from my little sister and brother. They would rather go out to eat foreign food and don’t like to listen to him “moralising”.

I was born in a different time. When I was a baby, dad made chicken broth for me out of chicken feet because he couldn’t afford any meat. When he needed pork for my porridge he would buy bones but sweet talk the butcher lady so she left some more meat on the bones. Then he would take me out drinking with him after kindergarten (don’t worry it’s not what you think). I was the only kid among a bunch of drunken men so I was treated like a princess by the waitresses. They would bring me the best food they could find every time my dad brought me in. That’s how I got to eat chicken drumsticks for free.

Even if I had all the money in the world, no waitress would treat me better than when I was just a poor man’s daughter.

2. They have put an automatic door at the gate of the Temple of Literature. You have to scan the ticket to get through it. Buy some dried plums at the shop and you scan their QR code to pay with your phone. Ask a 15-year-old where they hang out with their friends in their free time and the first answer is “shopping mall”.

I asked my stepmom about a new piece of wall decor at home and she said it’s some Japanese secondhand stuff. “Importing thrown-away stuffs from Japan is a business now. We are like their dumpster”, she said. My cousin’s daughter speaks better English than me, she is four year old.

They recently built a big museum for military history. It’s not completed yet and the entry is still free. When I was there with my friend on a Thursday morning, it was packed with people. Everyone was taking selfie or having photo taken as if they didn’t just see thousands years of wars, after which their country is becoming more and more like its enemies.

3. My little sister used to say she would go to the fine arts museum with me when I’m home. But ever since she got into the most famous “elite” high school in Vietnam, she has been “working” day and night for the six clubs that she is in. Every time I asked what she was doing she was “working on her deadlines”. She has meetings, interviews, reviews, feedbacks. She knows 600 fellow club members. She has to write posts, design posters, organise events. Her ambition is to get promoted to a “higher position”. I only got to see her at dinner. And she just got into high school a few months ago.

She showed me the instagram page of the robotics club at her school. They have photoshoots for their members as if they were actors. And my blorbo looked in most studio photos like he just came back from a parent-teacher meeting.

4. My little brother is still not showing much interest in studying. But he still wants “an easy job with a high salary” and doesn’t show any interest in “hard work” either. My dad has tried a lot of things and still can’t get his son to turn over a new leaf. “The family method” wouldn’t work on my brother, he said. He means the way his uncle “fixed” him back in his youth.

Back then, dad didn’t learn anything at school. One day after he failed the university entrance exam, his uncle came to his house. He was drunk and he told my dad: “Look at your parents! They gave you everything and you are a good-for-nothing! How can people as talented as your parents have such a useless son as you?! You don’t deserve to bear our last name!” Then he vomited everything he has just eaten and made my dad eat that.

My dad, as proud as he was, had to eat the vomit and started studying after that.

The education system has ruined this new generation, he said. They learn to get good grades and they give out good grades when it fits them. All the politicians telling them to learn hard today will be arrested for corruption the next day. There are as many university graduates as puppies, just as clueless and just as helpless. If your parents are not rich, are not high-ranking officials or don’t have any “connections” then you are on your own.

“Whoever has land to sell nowadays is rich”, he said. And the famine drove my great grandparents out of their hometown in 1945 so we don’t have any land, he also said.

5. My aunt called me a rice ball because I have gained weight. Too much blorbo posting, I guess. Everyone tells me I need to exercise more. My exercise is now my new hiatus and I hope they don’t mean the same thing.

[starleska]

STAR. astonishing news. so yesterday i was at this late christmas/birthday/new years family party cause everyones been busy and we only just got free time to meet, BUT my uncles were talking about the toymaker!!!. and then some other doctor who stuff about companions and such (<- has watched like. two episodes years ago and only knows what they know abt it from starleska at tumblr dot com), but i just thought it was a silly coincidence considering he was mentioned at your party a couple of days ago!!!!

oh my God you're kidding!!!! he's everywhere!!!! 🙈💖💖

thank you so much for telling me this, it's put a huge smile on my face omg 🙈💖 i hope you had a great time at the party!! it is so bloody weird having a fixation that people are just...talking about!! i was at a birthday party a couple of days ago (lots of parties the past few weeks hahaha) and was chatting to complete strangers about the Toymaker and Doctor Who!! the show is such a cultural phenomenon and NPH slayed so hard as the Toymaker we can't stop talking about it 😂💖 oooh i'm curious as to your uncles' opinions!! if there's one truth about Doctor Who, it's that it inspires very strong opinions in anyone who watches it 😭💖 ohhh you should totally watch more Doctor Who if you're feeling curious...i've been having the time of my life rewatching and getting to experience the parts i've never seen!! hit me up if you'd like to see The Giggle, the Toymaker's episode - i reckon it's an interesting starting point 😉

[pilots-and-protons]

Sorry, that ask wasn’t meant to upset you. I was just letting you know why Tom not having a wedding ring in Lower Decks likely wasn’t a continuity error. Since it’s kind of shitty to call the animators careless or lazy for something like that, especially on a show with as much love and attention to detail put into it as Lower Decks

Ok fine, I will answer this one.

First of all, I did not call the animators lazy or careless and I don't like you implying that I did. What little I have seen from LD has delighted me, and I appreciate wholeheartedly how much they actually reference and joke about Star Trek with love.

What I said (in a post on my blog with all of like 10 followers), was that I was offended they didn't take the time to animate Tom's wedding ring. Now, I shouldn't have to put long disclaimers on every short text post I make here on tumblr dot com, but I guess this time apparently I do.

I am very aware that it is a tiny and minor detail (especially in terms of animation), which the (often underpaid) animators probably didn't have the time or luxury to put in. But I also know that I am autistic and often fixate on minor details that I KNOW a lot of people just won't think about. So yes, I still have every reason to believe that people either forgot about it (and that is understandable; wedding rings are very old fashioned in a futuristic setting), or didn't think it was important enough to include (again, possibly because of money or time issues which are, again, completely understandable and not the animators' fault).

What you're missing is the POINT of the original post, which is just that I was sad - because Tom's arc of growing into a committed husband and family man is very important to his character. So not including this one obvious indication of his arc in a new and often very detail-oriented show (which notably makes no indication of Tom's relationship at all), was personally disappointing to me. THAT IS ALL. Especially since nothing that happens in the episode would need to address the absence of B'Elanna with or without the ring (since it already didn't).

As a side note, many books and even the most recent 2022/23 IDW comic have all included the fact that Tom is a married man with a family - even when B'Elanna is not present in the story. Regardless of whether someone is available to voice-act or not, in a clearly one-shot episode appearance for Tom, I'm legitimately not sure why LD did not include any reference to it. I think it would have been entirely in-character to hear from someone that B'Elanna is annoyed Tom's going around on a handshake tour while she's busy doing real work. But even if no one wanted to force it into dialogue, including the ring would have still given us something for a relationship that was carefully built over multiple seasons of the source series.

Lastly, if you've been on this blog at all you should know that I am clearly a fan of Tom/B'Elanna (among other ships). So I'm really not sure why you'd think that coming into my askbox to insist all post-Voyager canon would either have B'Elanna divorced from Tom or DEAD, wouldn't make me upset!?

[appareils-futiles]

I took off all notifications and deactivated my Facebook and my Instagram and logged out. I also took down my Twitter and my TikTok. I'm in the process of deleting emails and unsubbing from newsletters. I've updated my planner and am even considering doing a mass cleansing of my Pinterest. I gave everyone from 10am to 1pm EST to follow me on @cavortinginmoonlight or ask for my number but hey it is what it is. I actually was on the train when I posted that time frame and gave them until after 2pm when I got home. I'm kinda over all this. I crave the easiness of the 90s and the simplicity of the 2000s. Day one of the dot com era, Hasan Minhaj said that social media is a killer and as someone that had the majority of their first 18 years of their lives pre social media (unless you count tumblr which I don't) and didn't have a smart phone until she was 24, many years after smart phones became a thing--the first IPhone didn't come out until I was out of HS! It was blackberry and sidekicks and of course at that point to a lesser extent, razr phones!)

But I remember when MySpace and Facebook and Twitter could only be accessed through a computer! Such simpler times. Hasan says that he thinks we should go back to that, where we still have SM but only use it on computers, because having it 24/7 at our fingertips is too much. It takes away from the simplicity of life. From legitimate interactions with other people in person. Is it really spending time if you're sitting on your phone, next to that person and they are doing it to? We should be able to go on dates, hang out with friends, visit people in hospitals, go on vacations and raise our kids without throwing our business through the cables of the nether world for our family and truthfully (mostly) complete strangers to enjoy and hate on. We can't complain about people being all up in our business, talking smack about us, spreading rumors/gossiping or even coming up with shit if we give them all the ammo to do it.

We decide what we present to people not just with our looks but with our words, our expressions and how we treat one another. So we get off social media, we get our business off there as best we can, but will that keep the naysayers and haters from doing their thing? No. Haters and Nay-sayers are just that, haters and naysayers, unfortunately they will always exist no matter if you refuse them their fix of ammo or kick them out of your lives. The truth is, once you do it. They lose their hold over you, it's kinda like rehab. In a sense. You put an addict in rehab and they'll get whatever treatment they get and eventually get off the drug, it's out of their system, but the drug isnt the problem, or even access to it, or other addicts around them who may supply or make it hard for them to live cleanly, it's their sheer willpower to stay off the drug that's gonna keep them from using again (that was my terrible metaphor, so don't come for me in the replies because I will block you)

So if you cut off the haters/naysayers ammo, cut off their access to you, even in person, they'll either forget you (hopefully) or spread fake shit about you. But at that point, you either won't know about it because you don't fuck with them anymore, or you will and genuinely won't care. Shit, you may even get a giggle from the crazy shit you'll hear about yourself! Whatttt?? I'm doing "whatt? Why me didn't tell me I'm a cokehead?!" 😂😂 Take notice that not everyone around you is like this. But there's a difference between paranoid and being careful. Dig deep within yourself because there's someone wonderful in there and if you have the attention span of a TikTok and crave the attention of people for clout, take a step back and remember, you're a person........that's the machine. I was going somewhere with this. I swear. The point is this: Detach, even for a little while, just to get yourself together, in your head, in your heart, in your soul, in your finances and everything in between. The Matrix was a documentary and the Machine they talk about in Person of Interest is 100% real. This I confirmed when I was getting rid of Facebook and they had something on there I never shared on social media and that was just very creepy.

I'll be on tumblr. That's about it. Lenii

[r0semultiverse]

Had a dream that my family got involved in some sort of mafia family of some sort via a sketchy fast food place that was absolutely a money laundering business. Guns, crimes, a tracking app, and negotiating were all things that happened. Not necessarily in that order, but I don’t wanna be put on a list over a dream journal post on tumblr dot com just because of buzz words or something. :) I mean there was knives being held at necks, guns shoved in peoples mouths it was crazy!

Also by the time I woke up we all had Brooklyn and/or Boston accents.

Also I somehow got my hands on a pretty yellow dress! No idea where it came from! Dressed up and strapped up speeding down a long road with one of the enemies tied up in the seat next to me. I was yelling something out the window like “if you let me go, your boy here won’t get his top blown off!”

[simmancy]

Love Among the Stars: A Not So Perry Bachelorette Challenge

I just love bachelor challenges, ok? But why not make things a little.... spicy!

The sim that wins this challenge will be marrying into my Not So Berry family, which is fun! Yay for them! The problem.... They have to survive this fever dream.... AND they won’t know what their future spouse looks like til the end.

Is it a murder mystery bachelorette challenge? An Among Us challenge? Something like that awful Netflix show Sexy Beasts that my friend @lazarish alerted me to? A giant mistake? Perhaps it’s all of the above!!

Want to participate? Here’s how...

all gender identities welcome!

have fun making your sim, give them skills and traits and whatever else you’d like! tag me in the post, tell me a little about them, you know for flavor. in the actual gameplay they won’t meet the Bachelorette til... later... HOWEVER....

please dress your sim up in THIS for their first outfit. feel free to pick other outfits out! throw as much cc on there as you like! I won’t be unmasking them until the end.... or they meet.... an untimely demise.

ETA: have them ~suited up~ for their intro post as well! (thank u berry for asking)

every day sims will go about their business, doing their tasks, playing a mini game to earn interactions with the bachelorette or immunity, but THEN....

your sim MAY be murdered. by “murdered” i mean i will stage a scene and kill them off via MCCC, because i don’t want to install extreme violence it scares me

YOU will vote for who you think the imposter is. The sim at the top of the suspect list will take a negative relationship hit with the Bachelorette... and the sim with the least votes will get a positive boost. The sim with the least amount of relationship will then get ejected :D

Hopefully that sim will be the Imposter but if not >:) we begin again.....

Deadline is September 17! That’s next Friday!

FAQ & Secret Lore

Kit this is a good/bad idea! Why are you this way?

I just quit my job and am moving to a... quieter/simpler job and I wanted something really easy and fun to decompress with and a bachelorette challenge seemed like a good idea... Oh, why THIS style?

Because I asked in a poll which bachelorette I should use, and it was TIED ALL DAY and I got mad so here we are.

Mad enough to murder?

....maybe.

So who IS the bachelorette?

Either a spare from Gen 1 of my NSB or the HEIR of Gen 3. They are surprisingly close in age... And they like space. Both the outer kind and from people. Go figure.

If you click around my page (on desktop not mobile) you can probably find one of them, my NSB family page is updated up to gen 2 but not gen 3. I mean, spoilers, but.

Should my contestant be suited up for the intro post?

Absolutely. Mask themselves from me AND the voters. You don’t want a pretty face to fool the voting public!

How will the Imposter be chosen?

Every contestant is going to be put in a list, and I’ll randomize the list, and voila: Imposter chosen. I’ll even randomize who the Imposter kills.

What traits are allowed?

All of them. Every trait. Even romantic. Yeah, we’re going full chaos here. Of course.. if they have evil or mean, I’ll weight the randomizer more in that direction.

What about supernaturals? I know you Kit, you’ve got that thing for vampires.

I DO love vampires... Of course supernaturals are allowed!!!

What if someone chooses the same suit color as my person??? What if you get more than 7 sims???

I don’t know! I’ll randomly choose a different color then. If I get TOO many contestants then we get TWO rounds and both bachelorettes get to play and then it’s truly chaos hours at simmancy dot tumblr dot com.

If I get more than 14 sims I don’t know what I’ll do. Cry, probably.

Anything other questions??? ASK AWAY.

[moveslikejaggeria]

im very tired, tumblr dot com. im just very much exhausted. i think about how much i wanted to die just a few weeks ago and how happy i am now. but also,,, how i was right. happiness always comes in such fleeting moments. it sucks. the river is smaller, my dear friends, much easier to cross these days. but it doesnt mean its not still there.

i stopped seeing my therapist. and dietician. neither of them really reached out. fair enough. i think we were just dancing around the inevitable. i am therapist-proof: i repel them. its something about me that just pushes them away. its the me-ness.

i want a family so badly. all my friends are dating!! this sucks!! im so happy for them but wheres MY lover dearest. i hate dating apps though, im done with them. i gotta Know someone to date them and thats so hard over dating apps. alas

im so tired. not so much that its reached my bones, but its definitely deep in my muscles. i went and got a massage. it sucked and was expensive. now im sitting in the shower avoiding going to sleep bc as soon as i do tomorrow has to start. bleh

keep this to yourself porn bots but there was this person i really liked last year and god i was pretty infatuated but theyre not single so i had to get over it but sometimes i still have dreams with them in it and its kinda weird. like ik i cant control my dreams but it Feels manipulative to be in a situation where they are at my brains will. even i wont conform to that. plus then i wake up and the bed’s a little colder. alas

the loneliness is so deep in my bones i dont think itll ever leave, like a tumor they cant remove and you just kinda have to live with it and accept your fate. like a constant reminder that youre not normal or healthy and you never will or can be.

UGH i have TWO (2) meetings tomorrow. one of which is gonna SUCK bc i just have to sit there and be silent. i used to be really good at being silent. im twinning with mae from avatar lol.

i wish i lived in fiction. i wish i lived in a story that the author had all planned out and they had this nice little ending planned where everything was gonna finally be okay and id be happy. i think im trapped in a not-happy ending story. where the author tortures their characters relentlessly

how far away is labor day? i think labor day i’ll clean my apartment and finish moving in. maybe i’ll invite some friends over to keep me company, maybe not. maybe they will be busy or not want to. idk

not even a full week of school and im done. BLEH. i wish my therapist had put up more of a fight. or i had a better therapist. but then i wouldnt be talking to you, tumblr dot com! or maybe i still would. thats the question

there are two kind of depressed people: the ones who write happy endings for characters and imagine themselves AS the character to feel whole and those who torture their characters out of catharsis or to not feel so alone. so i suppose this is all karma for my fictional characters. do you think if i become the former life would be better?

OH tumblr dot com, i know you hate the tiky toky app, but they told me i was gonna find a partner this year! oh can you believe it! and if i listened to this one sound and manifested, i would be rich. oh tumblr dot com, can you imagine? someone to just hold and be held by? someone who you can lay your head against and listen to their heartbeat? someone you can trust with your whole you? oh tumblr dot com, how i do love to go on…

one last thing before i let you continue scrolling, mr porn bot. the happiest day of my life that i can remember is that one saturday last semester. i went to the arcade/golf course/gokart place place with my friends and we spent the day there and then we came home and i got to meet lewberger and see them perform and oh! the day before when i got my picture taken with stinger and got ice cream and knew random facts about greys anatomy and oh,,, to be young again. to live in those moments and just be happy. for that fleeting moment

[tjkiahgb]

Episode Recap: 3.15, “Unloading Zone”

Two recaps in two days? The things I do for meaningless internet points.

Bex, Bowie, and Andi sit around the apartment looking at their phones when Bowie suddenly declares it movie night. Everyone’s like, kinda excited about movie night, but not enough to move or do anything about it.

That’s the way we like to movie night.

Bowie says it’s a family night, where they all stare at the same screen. They debate what to see and where to see it but basically realize everything is bad.

Backed into a corner, they realize their only recourse is to take to their phones and the internet to try and find something to watch.

Andi shoots that idea down with a sarcastic “Sounds riveting.”

I take it she’s never seen footage of a swarm of monarch butterflies tearing a cow to shreds in a matter of seconds. I’m talking down to the bone!

They all go back to their phones with the sort of silent resignation that they aren’t going to watch a movie that night and also that they, and frankly all of us, will never stop staring at our phone screens from now until the moment we die. We are prisoners to technology. It is a cage we constructed by mistake and trapped ourselves in permanently by reforming our society around it. It is a karmic form of punishment for our hubris and it will one day be our destruction.

Anyway, please follow me on tumblr dot com, and don’t forget to give my posts likes and reblogs as my self-esteem is built almost entirely upon this.

Speaking of self-esteem: Cyrus.

He and Buffy watch TJ and Kira from afar at the park, where Kira attempts to blind TJ.

Buffy’s trying to figure out if they’re together now, but Cyrus doesn’t know, as they haven’t been hanging out lately. Kira’s been around him almost non-stop and Cyrus is not interested in being around her.

Kira jumps on TJ’s back, providing another stunning metaphor.

My God, she’s got him in a chokehold. She’s attacking him in public! Won’t someone do something?! Basketball boys in the background! Help!

Buffy reassures Cyrus that this won’t last. Kira’s not a nice person, she says, and TJ will figure that out eventually.

At Cloud 10, Andi checks to see if Bex and Celia have made up. Bex doesn’t know, so she checks with Celia to see if they made up.

No.

Bex tells Andi to stop using all the non-sample makeup. Andi’s like, ok, I’ll just take the ones I used. Bex wants to charge her.

Andi, look around! Once again, there are no costumers in the store, just employees and family members. The business cannot afford to bleed money like this!

Andi implores Bex to go talk to Celia, partly because she wants the two to mend their relationship and partly because she probably wants to sneak some more makeup out.

Bex tries to talk to Celia but Celia is cold as ice. Andi makes a joke about it.

That, surprisingly, doesn’t help the situation, so Andi sees herself out.

Bex tells Celia that she knows she’s furious with her for cancelling the wedding, but she would like this whole thing to be over. Celia says it is over. Bex asks her to say something nice to her to prove it.

I dunno, something like, “You are my only daughter and I love you no matter what. I’ve had at least a day to think about it and realized that barn weddings surrounded by alpacas aren’t the most important thing in the world, your happiness is. I would never want to force you into a marriage you weren’t ready for. You have to do what feels right to you. It’s your life, not mine.” I mean, you know, whatever. That’s just a rough draft. I’m open to notes.

But Celia instead sighs and says she’s got nothing.

At the park, TJ sneaks away from Kira long enough to talk to Cyrus alone.

TJ feels like Cyrus has been avoiding him but Cyrus says he hasn’t, TJ’s just been so preoccupied with Kira. TJ’s like, I’ve just been spending some time with her, but Cyrus says it’s the bulk of time. He thinks the two are hitting it off and he’s happy for them.

Don’t put that on me! TJ’s like, we just talk about basketball, the least romantic of the sports! Cyrus asks about the piggyback ride, but TJ says that was because Kira bet him he couldn’t do it and he was like screw you, I have a strong back. I can lift things!

TJ proposes Cyrus hang out with the two of them, but Cyrus isn’t so sure, and to reinforce that point, Kira tracks down TJ using the GPS chip she hid in his pocket and gets real cold, real fast with Cyrus.

TJ’s like, Cyrus should hang out with us, right?

Wouldn’t that be fun if all three of us hung out?

Kira says yes through gritted teeth and TJ’s like, boom! Great! Cool! We can all hang out.

But Cyrus gets the message and decides to scoot.

Do’s to thing.

TJ is sad to see Cyrus go, which Kira notices. She tries to cheer him up by reminding him that she’s still around.

To which TJ is like...

...oh. Yes. Yes, you are.

Later, at The Spoon, Andi comes bursting in and tells her friends to take a look at this!

And they’re like, that’s a phone! And Andi’s like, oh.

The point is not the phone, it’s what was once on the phone: words. And those words tell the story of a clothing store called Mint Chip which burns all the clothes they don’t sell.

The gang enter into a long discussion about capitalism and branding which I don’t understand because I got a C- in my Econ 101 class.

Then Buffy says Mint Chip burned $35 million worth of clothes last year and everyone gets outraged.

Can I just play devil’s advocate here? Maybe they were burning it for warmth?

Buffy says there’s a way to settle this, and they all head to the Rage Cage to smash junk.

No, wait, I mean, they head to a junk cage to... rage smash? Shoot, I feel like I almost had something there.

Point is, the kids get in the dumpster. Buffy tries to but her foot betrays her. Wonder if this has to do with trying to run a marathon on nothing more than moxie.

She plays it off like not a big deal. She says she’s fine but I’m not so sure a-boot that.

Cyrus, now in the dumpster, finally asks if they’re allowed to be doing this.

Ignoring the trespassing charge? The crime is called garbage theft. It’s real. I know that because I got an A- in my Criminology 101 course. Feels like someone should’ve done a quick Google search to make sure they weren’t doing something illegal.

But I guess the time for Googling was before everyone got into the dumpster, because everyone just laughs off Cyrus’s suggestion that maybe they could get in trouble for this.

They find bags and bags of new clothes and wonder what to do with them. They all stare at Andi.

Because this was your thing! You made us care! You’re the reason we’re in the dumpster!

Andi says they all need to figure this out. It’s a group project. Then everyone gets real quiet and stares at one another and a few seconds later, Andi comes up with an entire plan by herself. Go team!

They return that night and steal all the clothes out of the dumpster and ride away with their treasures.

I like how they each got their own special vehicle for the job. Jonah’s got his skateboard. Andi has her quirky wagon. Buffy has a practical cart. Cyrus has an awkward wheelbarrow. Perfect.

Well, okay guys, you’ve committed a crime. A couple, actually. Trespassing and garbage theft, but I think you can still get away with this if you play it cool. I assume the next part of the plan is something low-key. Go around town making anonymous donations to thrift stores and shelters probably. Gets the clothes to people who need it, gives them a new home. Mission accomplished, right?

Oh, no? Not that? Put up a huge, extravagant public display in the middle of the sidewalk on the main street of town instead? Big ol’ gaudy signs saying where you took the clothes from? Large, colorful signs that scream “FREE TO TAKE���? Great idea! Nothing gathers more attention or raises more suspicion than big signs with the word FREE on it.

By the way, where is Mint Chip? Is it nearby? Within walking distance? Within seeing distance?

This is like newlywed bank robbers robbing a bank and their getaway vehicle is their wedding car with all the cans dangling off of it and big writing on the back window that says “JUST MARRIED! DAN AND TIFFANY JOHNSON”

This is like a guy throwing a brick through a department store window but wrapping his photo résumé around the brick. And when you unwrap the résumé it has his name and phone number and email address, and underneath “Special Skills” it says “Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, Doing Crimes”

This is like a kidnapper mailing the finger of the person he kidnapped to the police and putting his home address on the package in the return space.

I assume this is all to prove a point to Mint Chip but the way it’s executed, it just feels like they want to get arrested for doing crime.

This lady comes by and rubs her two brain cells together.

Very good question, lady! Why are these children giving away clothes free to whoever walks by? Why do all these pieces of clothing still have their tags on them, as if they were stolen? Why--

IS THAT A WINTER COAT?! NO MORE QUESTIONS!

Andi assures her she can have the coat and that’s good enough for her.

Andi meets back up with Cyrus and Buffy and they all delight in how nice it is to give people stuff that isn’t yours.

We get a fun montage here of the gang committing crime with smiles on their faces.

Jonah gives answers to three telepaths, who wordlessly asked him questions about the clothing.

Look at these criminals.

Laughing at what they’ve done. Thinking they’ve gotten away with it. Makes me sick.

Bex, meanwhile, arrives home to find Bowie and a package. It’s addressed to both of them and Bex realizes it’s a wedding present. Bowie jumps back like Bex just said the box was full of spiders.

They’re going to have to get one of those bomb disposal robots to come take care of this.

They decide to open it. They’ll return it but have to know who sent it first.

Bowie sees it’s from Celia. She sent it with a beautiful note. They open the box and pull out--

JESUS CHRIST!

An exact recreation of the proposal?! Down to the clothing, hair, and camera angle? How in the world?! I mean, really? Even if they described the scenario to her, HOW?! She even placed the pillows on the couch exactly as they were on the night!

The level of detail on this is haunting.

She even put in the Cat!

This was a really cute idea that’s just unsettling in its execution. This is a supernatural occurrence. This is the kind of thing someone stumbles upon in the attic of spooky house and realizes it contains the trapped the souls of these people inside of it. If you hold your ear to it, you can hear them faintly shouting “Help! Get us out of here!”

Bex and Bowie are far more taken by this display than I am though. Bex gets emotional. She goes to get the Thank You note stationary Celia gave her. Bowie gives her some space to write a message.

Back at the pop-up crime scene, Cyrus approaches Buffy with a shirt. He wants to give it to TJ.

He texts TJ a picture of it. Cyrus hopes TJ will like him it. Buffy asks why not just give it to him, but Cyrus says he’s not sure how much he’d want him it. Buffy’s like, he wouldn’t want a free shirt? Cyrus is like, I don’t know if he’s gay he’d like me giving him a free shirt.

Buffy figures it out. She’s like, you know how you can find out if he’s into you he wants a free shirt? Go for it Give him the shirt. Maybe it’ll mean something to him, or maybe it won’t, but either way it’s a nice thing to do. Cyrus agrees.

TJ texts back at that moment.

No, he gives the shirt a thumbs up. Cyrus invites him to the crime show he and his friends are putting on, but TJ tells him he’s at the park.

Cyrus wonders what that means. Buffy tells him it’s that he wants to meet him. Cyrus waffles on whether to bring the shirt.

Yeah, I mean, the shirt’s a thing now, you gotta bring the shirt.

At the park, Kira wants to know who TJ’s texting with. He tells her no one and suggests they go feed the ducks. Kira suggests they go on the swings first. TJ’s like, are you sure I can’t interest you in some ducks? But she wants to swing.

TJ resists but Kira persists. She taunts him that he can’t swing as high as she can. That works, somehow.

Guess his competitive spirit is such that all you have to do to get him to do something is say he can’t.

“I don’t want to give you a piggyback.”

“Why, ‘cause you can’t?”

“Get on my back! But I swear I’m not getting on the swings.”

“Because you don’t know how to swing?”

“Get out of my way, I’m getting on them swings!”

Boy, if either Reed or Lester had figured out this weak spot, they could’ve just said “Bet you can’t not say anything to the police about this gun, chicken!” and they’d be running free somewhere right now instead of locked up in supermax.

So TJ gets on the swings, just in time for Cyrus to come walking by and see.

Heartbroken at seeing his crush being heterosexual in public, Cyrus takes his shirt and does a sad Charlie Brown walk away.

He looks back first though.

Which, as we know, indicates he likes TJ, though it feels kinda superfluous because it’s following an episode where he was watching TJ from afar, being jealous that TJ was hanging out with someone else, and getting TJ a gift for no reason other than he thought it would look good with his eyes. Yeah, man, we get it. You like TJ.

Cyrus returns to the theft shop. Buffy asks him what happened and he tells her he found TJ with Kira.

Buffy promises him it won’t last, but Cyrus is like even if it does... he’s still straight, though.

Buffy asks him what he’s going to do with the shirt. Cyrus decides to give it to the last straight boy he crushed over. He asks Jonah if he wants it.

I know that this is more to complete a metaphor of sorts, but Jonah has to know that’s one of the shirts they pulled out of the dumpster, right? He’s like, oh, this is awesome, where’d you get it? The trashcan, Jonah. With you. Last night. We’ve been giving them away all day. There’s eight more over there on the rack.

Andi shows up and is like, it’s weird no one got mad at us for this whole thing, right? And Jonah’s like, oh yeah, someone came by and asked a lot of questions about it and I told her everything!

They’re like, no, you shouldn’t have done that. Which, I mean, yeah. He needs to keep his mouth shut. That’s the first rule of crime doing. But in fairness to him, what was this plan anyway? If someone came around asking, what answers were they planning on giving that wouldn’t implicate them in wrongdoing?

They don’t have time to think about that because a cop shows up. Andi tells everyone to stay calm, because they didn’t do anything wrong, but Buffy’s like, we might have. Bet we feel foolish we didn’t stop for a quick Google before all this, huh?

Officer Penn, a.k.a. Budget Clint Eastwood, wants to see their permit, but they say they’re not selling anything, so no permit necessary. Budget Clint Eastwood then tears through their legal arguments fairly quickly.

They say Mint Chip is a store that destroys the clothes they don’t sell and if you really think about it, isn’t that the real crime?

No. No, it’s not. Garbage theft is the real crime. Garbage theft. Officer Penn hauls four children off to jail.

Vivian the Winter Coat Lady, meanwhile, walks into Cloud 10 to look around. Celia compliments her winter coat. Vivian thanks her, saying she just got it under mysterious circumstances, but didn’t bother asking any questions.

In fact, all she really wants to do is go back and get more clothes under mysterious circumstances.

Bex pulls Celia over and tells her she loved the wedding present. She gives her an envelope full of thank you notes she started and stopped because she couldn’t put into words all her feelings.

But Celia is still pretty cold about all this. Bex wants to know how long it’ll take to be forgiven.

Can I knock it down to two if I run some errands for you? Take you to the airport or something?

Bex’s phone buzzes. It’s someone calling from jail, telling her they have her daughter. Bex panics. Celia steps up.

Looks like Andi’s going to have to bring them back together once again. They head off for jail.

The episode ends and then we get a sneak peek at the main title sequence of the spinoff show featuring the Good Hair Crew and Jonah in prison.

Andi Mack: Lockup, coming this fall.

[papirouge]

Being on Tumblr dot com while not being American is such a trip cause you can clearly witness how pervasive US culture is, even for Christians.

While I fully embrace my problematic™ rogue Christian status I still wander through a bunch of Christian circles and there's a few things I’ve noticed here and there that make me go.... "🤔"

When it comes to the commandment of not worshiping idols, we shouldn’t do the mistake of assuming it’s only about worshiping other gods, or bowing down before golden/wooden statues, when prophetically speaking, it’s about not putting anything (laws, values, rights) above God’s commandments.

For example, whenever I see Christians whining about how hard they have it during the quarantine, that churches are getting closed down, and how their 🇺🇲freedom/individual rights🇺🇲 are getting infringed because of the coronavirus, it lowkey rubs me the wrong way spiritually wise because as Christians we are called to be more resilient regarding this type of trial (and suffering in general). Stop calling persecution something so trivial as lockdown or curfew because it downplays the actual persecution (assassination, imprisonment) of Christian elsewhere in the world for their Faith. Don’t talk to me about how Christians are currently undergoing the Great Tribulation while YOU can still play “Animal Crossing” cozying up in your house. Trust me, you won’t have the time for that silly stuff when the antichrist’s squad will be after your butt 🤡 It's really interesting to witness how pervasive US individualist culture remains in part of our community because as far I know, "individual rights" are not Biblical (lol) : they're the result of politics & culture. And by this I'm not saying they’re essentially wrong or evil, I’m just trying to convey that our wordly entitlement shouldn't overshadow God's commandments (also as a non-White person with family living in non-Western country, I can attest the whole obsession with individualism & freedom are VERY Western values...). Some people are so busy bitching/complaining (=the flesh speaking) against their government (that God Himself put into place FYI) they can't let the Spirit rather inspiring them into holding a prophetic perspective on this trial. Why are a bunch of us still heavily relying onto wordly concept such as individual right, the Economy (which on some aspect come off as idols for those obsessively professing some legit concern about them) or brick & mortar churches as if the Church wasn’t each & every one of us firsthand (FYI you don’t need a building to keep being connected to Christ - everything else is optional).

It's really fascinating to witness how the same people who’ll merrily reblog Bible verses driving us to put our trust into God are IN PRACTICE the same ones freaking out about the situation, getting scared of being infected by the virus, the economy collapsing, the jobs disappearing, etc... If God is in control of EVERYTHING why wouldn't He STILL be in control of this situation RIGHT NOW ESPECIALLY when stuff is just starting to getting heated??? If anything, this trial should act like an inspirational real-world testing of our Faith.

And let's not forget sheltered Western Christians acting like the great Tribulation is happening right now... Is it because the pretribulationism doctrine is actually pretty popular in the US so a lot of Christians out there think they can spiritually doze off thinking they'll either die before witnessing the antichrist OR that they'll be taken up to the Heaven with the Rapture before stuff starts getting heating up on Earth...?🌋👀

I’ve even stumbled upon a few ‘Christian’ bloggers saying they would take their guns if they had to fight against the New World (literally) demonic-driven government. Although it’s interesting to witness (again) the influence of US individualist martial culture into this type of behavior, I can’t wrap my head around the fact that some ‘Christians’ might think they can battle up against the antichrist and his army of demons with......guns... like- *sigh*

I do not get why so many Christians are silent about the upcoming trials of Christians. The world we’re living is going to worsen by the years/decades. Whatever we’re living today is NOTHING compared to the severe persecution that we -the Saints- are called to endure during the antichrist’s reign if this happens during our lifetime. The books or Prophets and the Revelations are pretty transparent into warning us about God’s upcoming wrath hitting the World and the upcoming trials the Saints are called to face (the 7 Seals : famine, WWIII, 1/4 or the Humanity getting killed, cosmic events ETC)

I am NOT trying to be a fear mongering just stating the truth & asking WHY IS NOBODY ON THIS WEBSITE IS TALKING ABOUT THIS?? 🎺 🎺 Why isn’t anyone warning their fellows in Christ to remain VIGILANT, brace ourselves and STEADILY persevere into the spiritual battle to sustain the oil in our lamps??🎺

[tarmairons]

aaaaaaand here’s part 2 of the extensive (book & netflix) masterpost of all my fave eslaf moments!!!! again, fair warning, this is a very long post

[part 1]

i wish i could have done all this in one part but i hit a size limit oops

NOW ONTO SEASON 3!!! which was a nightmare but i’ll try to pretend it wasn’t for the sake of this post

to begin: the constant endearments in the book (and the show... “darling dearest dreamboat” damn esmé) have me losing my wholeass mind like

next up we have the indisputable fact that they f*cked in the tent on mount fraught. my proof is that they shared a tent and it was cold and so they had to generate heat. thank you

and then another instance of their shared brain cell evaporating

olaf being super proud of scoring the world’s hottest girlfriend and bragging to his parental figures is surprisingly wholesome 

aaaand their brain cell is still missing in action

it’s very very cute how olaf obviously has zero artistic talent but esmé is always out there looking at him putting on a show like he’s the most amazing actor alive

and next on the list of scenes we were robbed of: p h y s i c a l  a f f e c t i o n

but at least the most important line, that is:

was included:

so i won’t torch netflix hq just yet!!!! oh but WAIT they cut this next part, so i might change my mind about the arson after all

and also this line ???? ugh they’re disgusting i love them

and then this whole entire scene of olaf being so proud of his murderous gf was. beautiful. spectacular. legendary 

and then someone pointed out that their hug looks like that draco/voldemort hug and it’s TRUE but i’m still gonna include it bc netflix is eslafphobic and i’m clinging to scraps here

this next line isn’t an eslaf scene but the phrasing is sending me shddhhdjsh

ok submarine time!!!! aka netflix making the sugar bowl esmé’s priority whereas in the book it is olaf’s as well AND netflix making it look like olaf was against carmelita joining them whereas it was his idea in the book… so basically all the reasons they fight in the show are unsubstantiated but go off i guess

very grateful for this Old Married Couple Bickering tho

and i know this whole scene is very problematic and talked about profusely on tumblr dot com but i’m including this screencap bc it’s soft how esmé considers them all a family

and Oh Wait olaf does too i’m melting

it’s like in TPP they wrote him bitching about “pretending to be a family” but he didn’t have any issues with it earlier, he just ran with it when esmé called carmelita their daughter

and was like “i know” ok netflix so why have him complain about it later on smh… he’s clearly not THAT mad about it, like:

next up!!! i’m a big fan of them disagreeing over something…

…and then 0.5 seconds later they’re getting along again:

^ that is the essence of their relationship

and now back to the topic of olaf not being annoyed at esmé’s Fashion Diva moments:

see he’s lowkey impressed ok

i’m now realizing that 99% of my alleged fave eslaf scenes from s3 are just me complaining about how the books are superior but ok

anyway this next scene deserves an emmy. give lucy an emmy for the delivery of “BUT DARLING”

and this is also soft bc olaf is like :/ and then esmé says something and he turns to her and is like :) so that always has me on the floor in tears

out of context this sentence is wild but like… netflix back at it again with robbing us of all the affectionate scenes huh

and here’s another instance of Couples Scheming being a fun activity to do together

and then we have their joint brain cell screaming for help but it’s adorable so

and then they go off to f*ck again

next up this whole beach scene is just more old married couple behavior and i absolutely adore it

and then we have Bonding Over Arson ~just couple things~

the fact that as the series progresses they go from “count olaf’s gf” to “esmé squalor’s bf” is legendary

and now this isn’t really a fave scene per se BUT considering the mess netflix made of the breakup i have to give a shoutout to the book version bc in comparison to the show version it’s.. beautiful how Mutual Agreement it is

but yeah lucy is spectacular here and it adds fuel to the Esmé Did Have Feelings For Olaf Because Otherwise She Wouldn’t Be Crying fire, which is great for me bc i love my otps with a side of angst

and of course netflix confirmed that esmé squalor, the city’s sixth most important financial advisor, has a daddy kink, so that’s incredible

you may think i’m done bc they broke up but no

here we have them a millisecond away from murdering each other but they’ll still take time out of their busy schedules to menacingly glare at children together. a spiritual bond that no breakup can destroy

but the real gem is the massive horny on main energy in the opera flashback (which was awful, but horny, so i have mixed feelings)

subtle, esmé

you too olaf, good job

and ofc it’s [luciana voice] imperative to remember that in the book esmé was out there trying to stop the premeditated murder of olaf’s parents so that’s nice of her

and last but not least the only valid s3 scene aside from esmé menacing the kids in the burned vfd headquarters:

sexy noir aesthetic fire escape rendezvous that ignited a revenge scheme spanning decades. if that’s not peak romance idk what is

and not to be controversial but i’m gonna drop this here anyway

ever since i read the end a billion years ago i always used to think olaf meant kit in this scene but like ?????? over the past few months i’ve been thinking, what if he meant esmé?? i mean, nothing directly negates that possibility, the books are so ambiguous and so open to interpretation that i might as well twist them to fit my headcanons, as we all do, so why tf not 

and i’m gonna add some final Thoughts and Opinions in case i get more anons asking why i ship eslaf even though they’re constantly bickering &/or about to Snap and kill each other:

i’m hopelessly weak for villainous ‘us against the world’ power couples and it’s like.. even though in the series they ultimately have different end goals, they have a great time being awful people together along the way and that’s all that matters, that familiarity and mutual understanding between them. neither of them ever tried to change the other, they’re both garbage people and that’s why they get along, and what makes them so compatible

and while i’m still hesitant to use the word ‘love’ in regard to their relationship bc it just doesn’t feel Right to me (i know there’s people out there who feel otherwise but i’m still meh about it), i don’t doubt that they had feelings for each other deep down, even if they didn’t always outwardly express them

so that’s my massive essay with so much source evidence that tumblr made me divide it into 2 separate posts thank you for your attention i need a vacation from tumblr now bc this took me HOURS

[theartificialdane]

💕💞💖💌💝Happy Valentine's Day! Let's show Tumblr that this day can be about all types of love, not just romance... List 10 things you love about your life (hobbies, pets, fave color, tv shows, etc) and then list 4 things you love about yourself (hair, eyes, laugh, ability to put up with nonsense, etc.) Once you're done spread the love to 14 of your followers! 💕💞💖💌💝

10 things I love about my life1) My support system of IRL friends that have shown time and time and time again that they’re litterally my family2) That I’ve gotten (in a peacefull way!) to a mid normal BMI, and that I can continue to lose weight and strenghten my body without hurting myself3) That my doctor takes my pain seriously, and that I’ll hopefully be able to enter a pain management program in 20194) The fact that I have both @veronicasanders (the worlds most patient and amazing beta!) and @imanationalphenomenon to always talk about my fics with me, even when I’m obsessing over a teeny tiny detail5) That I’m blessed to be working with kids, and that the kids I meet at work not only want to read, but also discuss what they read with me6) That I can support my mom, and help her manage life7) That my job situation is not only stable, but that I’m also headhunted because I’m good at what I do8) That my bookblog have given me many oppertunities to see a new side of the publishing business and make new friends9) That I’m recovered, well and loved.10) That I have so many kind readers both here on Tumblr and on AO3 that puts up with my shenanigans 4 things I love about myself1) My ability to overcome and survive2) The fact that my hair looks fucking bomb dot com3) That my body is strong enough to almost carry me through the day, and that we manage together4) The fact that I can make others laugh, and provide relief and comfort on heavy days.Thank you so much for thinking of me!! That was very kind of you, and I’m sorry once again I was late

[pjmonet]

Action !

hello !! this is my first one shot on tumblr dot com hehe i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it (❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)

pairing — jimin x reader

warnings: none !

actors!au

When you had first told people that you wanted to become an actress, everyone around you seemed to discourage you, rather than encourage you.

“You’ll never make it, Y/n.”

“Choose something more practical. Everyone wants to be an actor these days!”

“Y/n, you’re more cut out for a 9-5 job, if im being honest.”

It hurt especially when most of the negitvity came from your family. The one’s who were supposed to be your biggest supporters, had actually been your greatest foe’s when it came down to actually helping you.

Although you may have been weighed down by your family’s words, you had continued to strive for your dreams.

You were determined to make a name for yourself in the entertainment business, in order to 1. prove everyone wrong, and 2. feel the sheer happiness of finally accomplishing something you’ve always wanted.

In the end, all that perseverance and dedication had paid off. Four years back, you had debuted in a medical drama as the protagonist’s best friend. Playing the role of a surgeon was both fun yet slightly difficult. You’d used cool utensils and had worn the iconic white lab coat. Whilst filming, you learned about terms you never even knew existed and oftentimes you would have to say your lines with those words rather quickly, which often lead you to messing up a lot.

To you, the best part of acting was the people whom you’d be acting in the drama with. The female lead being Lee JiEun, someone you’d looked up to for years. To think back on how both you and her had faked the role of best friends in the drama, only to become best friends in real life, was insane to you.

After you had gone to audition for the role you were currently filming, JiEun had decided to put in a good word for you. To her surpise, they’d already given you the role, and her speaking highly of you had only risen everyone’s expectations of your performing abilities.

The drama you were filming was centered around the CEO of a huge company in Korea, and the CEO’s incredibly talented assistant. It included well respected faces, one of them being Park Jimin.

According to other celebrities and news outlets, Park Jimin was known to be a very shy, soft and kindhearted person, meanwhile when it came to being on the screen, he was notorious for skillfully portraying his roles and most importantly— an amazing kisser. You’d have to be insane to not fall for the man, and insane you weren’t.

Though of course, you didn’t personally know anyone who had the chance to have a kissing scene with the man, so you’d never know if the rumors were truth or not.

That was until you read the script for the next episode.

While flipping through the small stapled stack of papers, you noticed a stage direction had been typed in bold. Something along the lines of “[Kim JaeHyun] kisses [Han EunHa] under umbrella,” which just so happened to be your character’s names.

For a second there, your heartbeat seemed to rapidly rise at the thought of kissing him.

From the moment you and Jimin had first spoken, your heart had fallen for him despite your mind telling it that you shouldn’t catch feelings. Your mind didn’t want you to get hurt but your heart was ready to risk it all.

You’d considered your relationship with him average. Not as close as you and JiEun but certainly not just any regular friend. Jimin and you have spent nights together reading over lines or simply just having meals together— nothing too drastic. Though you loved the small times you two have shared, you’d always longed for something more.

After a few days had passed and you’d memorized all your lines, you still couldn’t stop thinking about the kissing scene. To a regular person, it may seem like you were overreacting, while in fact you were not. This was Park Jimin. The man with luscious lips and a smile that lit up the whole world— eyes that sparkled even when its bright out and a personality that caught the attention of many.

“That’s amazing! You’ve wanted this since you began filming that drama, haven’t you?” Your best friend exclaimed through the phone whilst you sat staring at the script in your trailer.

“Well, yes—“ You cut yourself off quickly as to slyly avoid her question. “But now that its actually happening, I’m freaking out!”

“Y/n, it’s just acting, okay? No need to worry! Just, stay in the moment and give him the best make out session he’s ever had in order for him to catch feelings.” She chuckled as a knock was heard on your door.

You looked out of the window, only to find the exact person you two had been talking about. He was dressed nicely and your only thought was about how good he looked in the blue jeans.

“Yeah, makeout seasion, got it! Gotta go! I’ll talk to you later, JiEun.” You ended the call without even giving her a chance to question you.

Tossing your phone on the couch you had previously been sitting on, you got up quickly and opened the door as calm as possible.

He greeted you with a smile, his eyes forming crescent moons and his glass cheeks flushing a rose tint. Jimin held up the script that you had been reviewing, the page that instructed a kissing scene open, and highlighted in yellow was the strage direction.

“It’s time to start filming, Y/n!” He pulled you out of your trailer, arm around you neck in a loose chokehold. It was things like that that made you verify the fact that he had no feelings for you whatsoever. Jimin treated you more as a little sister, rather than a grown woman.

“Are you nervous about today’s scene?” He poked playfully, letting you go as you entered the building. Blood rushed to your cheeks and in an attempt to cover them, you acted as if you were scratching your face. The makeup artists would paint your skin in cosmetics anyways, so it didn’t matter.

“N-no! It’ll be fun!” You lied— you absolutely were nervous. Even if it was just acting, you’d have to make it seem believable that your character’s were in love.

“Yeah, I can’t wait! Don’t worry about anything, okay?” He held onto both of your shoulders, the thin stack of papers slightly smacking your arm as he did so. You nodded and you both walked into hair and makeup.

————

“Okay so, Y/n. Im gonna need you to stand on that label right there, with the umbrella open. Once we start rolling, you’ll begin walking forward.” The director instructed, speaking into the megaphone. You complied and walked over to your position, getting ready to walk through the upcoming water.

The director reminded you and Jimin of what you were supposed to say and asked if everything was clear. Soon enough, fake rain had started dripping from above the stage, startling you slightly in the process as it came without warning.

You let out a deep breath and placed your hand in the pocket of the trench coat you were wearing. As scary as it may be, JiEun was right. You were both just acting; there were no feelings that needed to be present and nothing would come out of this. The next words that came from the director’s mouth had brought you out of your trance.

“And.... Action!”

You begin walking, the water pouring down harder the more you did. The camera followed your movements forward until you heard Jimin call out your character’s name. All of a sudden, your heart began beating faster; as if you were running a marathon. You turned around, eyes widening at how the man was drenched in the water.

You ran towards him, cameras following as you lifted the umbrella to cover the both of you.

“Han EunHa,” Jimin’s breath was heavy and low and his hands cold as he placed his palm over yours on the umbrella stick.

“JaeHyun? What’re you doing? why aren’t you at home?” You asked in a frantic tone, just as the script had said. He stared deep into your eyes, making you catch your breath. “You’re going to get sick if you stay out here.”

“I’m already sick” He blurts, his voice barely above a whisper. He closes the already small gap between the two of you. “Love sick. I’m love sick and it’s all because of you.”

“What do—“

Suddenly, his face changes and becomes gentle. “Whenever im around you, my heart beats so fast that i used to think i had tachycardia. When im away from you, i feel lonely and the only thing that comes to mind is going to your place.” He stares longingly into your eyes and for a second, you thought he was talking to you. Y/n, not Han EunHa. “For the past few months, the only person that came to mind whenever i talk about relationships is you. Why is that?”

Your cheeks blush and youre entraced in his ethereal beauty that you cant even think of your next line, despite being told beforehand by your director. You panic, breath shaky as his eyes sparkle under the dim stage lights.

“JaeHyun I...” Despite the few seconds you had to remember the line, it didn’t come to you. Though, the only thing thing you did remember was the highlighted stage direction in Jimin’s script, which in that moment is what led you to kissing him. You could tell he was shocked by the sudden action.

His lips were soft and plum, and also smelled of vanilla. You dropped the umbrella which caused you to be soaked as the rain continued to pour. While his hands traveled up to cup the sides of your face, you grabbed onto the overcoat that he was wearing and pulled him closer into you— if that was even possible at this point.

The low music became inaudible and you delved deeper into the kiss. Jimin was the one leading while you merely followed his steps. It felt so good to finally kiss the man whom you had a crush on since you met. It seemed as though all your worries and anxieties deminished as your lips moved with his.

Before the kiss could intensify anymore, your heard your director calling cut. Both you and Jimin pulled away at the same time and simply stared at each other, his lips red and plumper from the contact.

“When i said my heart beat became faster around you, or when all i wanted was to be near you, i wasn’t talking to Han EunHa anymore. I was talking to you, Y/n.” His eyes searched yours for an answer while his hands rested on the sides of your face, his palms becoming warm due to the heat that rushed to your cheeks.

“I like you, Jimin. I like you quite a lot, actually.” You chuckled, breaking free from his hands and hugging the man despite the coldness of the water he was drenched in. While your head rested on his chest, you could hear the fast palpitations that came from his heart. You smiled as he wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your head.

“I really like you too, Y/n.”

[hockey-jews]

For anyone who wants to learn more about Judaism! Also, kind of a post about how to deal with some Things and Stuff. This is a long post so I’ll put it under a read more for those interested:

This is really for an anonymous message I got that described struggles with things that I think many of us struggle with or have in the past: not being “Jewish enough” in the eyes of other Jews due to your heritage being on the “wrong” side (read; on your father’s side), yet still experiencing antisemitism from goyim. Not learning very much, if anything, about Judaism as a child but wanting to learn more as an adult. Not being comfortable with some traditions or laws of Judaism because you are a) a feminist b) LGBT c) an atheist. Living in a place with few to no Jewish spaces. Not feeling welcome in the Jewish community due to any or all of these things. 

Book recs!

If you’re the kind of person who enjoys reading (or can at least tolerate it) I highly recommend these books! They’re all books that I have either read/started reading/or plan on reading. (Please keep in mind that none of these are Jewish texts such as the Torah or the Talmud and that I do understand the importance of such religious texts but am not recommending them because I feel those are obvious sources of information)

A Bride for One Night if you aren’t familiar with the Talmud, it’s a collection of writings and explanations of Jewish laws and traditions and it’s old as balls. The author of this book, Ruth Calderon, takes a bunch of Talmudic stories and makes them into these wonderful beautiful stories that are easier to read than the original ones from the 3rd and 6th centuries. Even if you don’t know anything about the Talmud this book is so fascinating and fun to read. 

The G-d Who Hates Lies is literally perfect for you if you have issues with how women are viewed and treated in the most traditional sense of Judaism. It’s a really great criticism by people who are extremely qualified to make those criticisms (both are rabbi’s and I think they both have doctorates in theology, specifically Modern Orthodox Judaism, which makes for a really cool viewpoint). I can’t find anything about the third author of this book, who is a woman, but it’s comforting to know that a woman had a part in this as well. Obviously these people love Judaism, they just want to see it adapt to modernity. Just in general it’s a really thoughtful book that challenges dogma. 

Jewish Literacy was recommended by an anon (thank you!) The rest of the title is “The Most Important Things to Know about The Jewish Religion, Its People and Its History” so like. Ya get what ya see here folks. HOWEVER I did see a review that mentions there is some Islamophobia and hostility towards Jews who are antizionist. It does genuinely look informative and I haven’t read it myself so I can’t attune to whether or not that review is accurate, but maybe be cautious if you read this in knowing that the author may not be objective. 

Book of Mercy made me openly weep and feel something tender and weird in my heart and like. Okay so it’s not informative so much as it’s a book of poetry by Leonard Cohen (he was Jewish if you didn’t know!) He calls his poems “modern psalms” and honestly this would be a good read even if you aren’t religious at all because his writing is just so gorgeous. But it does have references to Judaism and his identity as a Jew 

Understanding Judaism is really a “building blocks” kind of book to me, if that makes sense? It’s really informative but also really basic and is fantastic for people who know very little about Judaism or just want a well presented understanding of the core aspects of the Jewish religion. Even if you aren’t a Jew who’s looking to learn or someone who is considering conversion it’s still a good book if you’re interested in world religions regardless of your faith or lack thereof. (man I’m starting to sound pretentious lmao I just mean like, if you’re an atheist or Catholic or whatever, it’s pretty interesting and also this guy is kinda dorky-funny so it makes for an easier read than some other books about religion)

Shmooze I think this is meant to be more for a group to read an discuss, and like, also maybe meant for a younger audience (I’m talking about teenagers so not really that young, but if you’ve been reading dull infodumps by 90 y/o Jewish rabbis with doctorate degrees this is gonna be a change of pace lmao) I should mention that I’ve only read like two pages of this book because I saw it at Barnes and Noble and just kinda briefly checked it out so I don’t know a ton about it but it stuck in my head and the reviews look positive so 

Obvious I don’t think you have to read all of those because I haven’t even read all of those so maybe just check one of them out if it seems like it could be helpful to you. 

Judaism here on tumblr dot com:

Okay so like. This is really my personal diced onion so take it however you will but keep in mind that this really only reflects things I’ve come across and how I feel. 

Obviously there are a lot of really great blogs about Judaism but I don’t have any specific ones to recommend I’m sorry :O I really really hate ~Discourse~ and like, in-depth arguments about the Holocaust because I get so wrapped up in it and let’s be honest, tumblr is all about the discourse and ignorance. That being said, I like to follow other people who are Jewish and blog about whatever because that usually leads to safer discussions and also is a great way to find really helpful thoughts and discussions by other Jews about topics like being LGBT, being a woman, being an atheist, etc. These are just nice to read and also if you aren’t familiar with certain Yiddish or Hebrew terms that are commonly used it’s a good way to see how and when they’re used in certain contexts. 

I’m going to tag anything like this that I post here as “good info” just so me and anyone who wants can find this stuff easier. No they won’t necessarily have anything to do with hockey. 

Also please be very careful when you’re reading a post that is presenting certain things as facts, always double check what someone is saying because misinformation is spread so quickly, and it’s almost always unintentional. The things that I find genuinely helpful/safe/fun involve opinions, common feelings and experiences, little personal stories and jokes, cool stuff like that. 

I’m Jewish on my father’s side :0

Me too boo. Unfortunately that’s an unending discussion, and one that is often held by matrilineal Jews and doesn’t actually include patrilineal Jews, nor does it consider our thoughts/feelings/experiences. Without sounding like an idiot, it is absolutely buckwild to me that there are people who have been raised Jewish, have never known anything other than Jewish tradition, have been subject to antisemitism, but still aren’t considered Jewish. 

And then this is where I see matrilineal Jews who hold this viewpoint bring up Reform Judaism, which is one of the three main branches of Judaism and does recognize patrilineall Jews as Jews. I’ve seen some discrepancy as to whether or not patrilineal Jews had to have been raised Jewish in order to be considered Jewish. This is all well and good for Jews like me whose family practices Reform Judaism, but for patrilineal Jews who wish to practice in an Orthodox or Conservative synagogue, it gets tricky. 

Basically, yes this is a huge topic that inspires a lot of disagreement, and that sucks, but here’s what it comes down to. No one else is allowed to make you feel inferior because of your heritage. So many people, even modern Orthodox Jews, recognize that certain aspects of Judaism need to adapt to today’s society. I don’t want to offend anyone here, but I really do feel that most matrilineal Jews who don’t consider us Jewish are extremely hypocritical (for a lot of reasons but mostly like...y’all really follow every aspect of Jewish Law? Like do you really? All of it? Girl do u? Or are you maybe just being elitist). Learning about your heritage, talking about shared experiences, combating antisemitism, these are all things that are fair game for you (especially for the anon who said they were atheist) and going to Shabbat services, praying, participating in holy days. That’s all yours if you want it, bubbeleh. 

Can I be an atheist Jew?

Sure you can! I, personally, am not an atheist so I wasn’t comfortable finding specific resources about this because I don’t really know much about it? It’s fine with me if you’re atheist that’s none of my business, I just don’t want to direct you to a bad source. But yes, many Jews are atheist, many are secular, I’m sure there are many here on tumblr. It’s absolutely okay, Judaism is an ethnoreligion, and while you may experience Judaism different than the rest of us, you’re still a Jew and still belong. 

Here’s an excerpt from a short lil synopsis of Judaism:

These three connotations of Judaism as a monotheistic system, as a literary tradition, and as a historical culture are sometimes viewed separately. For example, there are Jews who see themselves as culturally Jewish, but who are also non-religious or atheist, often identifying more strongly with Jewish “peoplehood” than with traditional understandings of God and Torah. Even so, all Jews would recognize that these three points of reference have shaped and guided Jewish experience through the ages.

Jewish “peoplehood” that they talk about is like. Culture, customs, food, art, history, etc. 

One last little note on this, you’ll hear a lot that Judaism focuses more on actions than on beliefs. This is an excellent article that is pretty short and worth reading that I want to include because I think that even if you don’t believe in G-d or even if you are seriously questioning, the focus on just. Doing good. Actively doing good things and trying to be a good person (I know that’s objective but bear with me) is a such a huge part of Judaism that you can try to incorporate into your life without having to subscribe to any sort of dogma or beliefs that you don’t hold. “Judaism is certainly a faith-based tradition. Belief in G-d is central to our religion. It just isn’t a prerequisite. If you are Jewish, you are so regardless of belief.” 

But I’m a feminist....

As you should be. This is probably another personal statement you gon’ wanna take with a grain of salt, but I think Judaism, especially in the last 50 years or so, has made huge strides in this. Especially Reform Judaism, but that kind of goes without saying. 

Example, my synagogue was founded as a Conservative synagogue. Our website still says we are. I’m not actually sure tbqh, like I said, my family are Reform Jews, and so are most other families in our congregation I think but this is literally the only synagoge for like hundreds of miles so. Anyways our rabbi is female (Rabbi Shaina!) and she does great work, we all love her. She’s really adament on teaching kids that gender shouldn’t keep you from anything, that Judaism is for all Jews, that it should enhance our lives. She wears a tallis, lays her tefillin, and reads from the Torah. 

My point here is that while this isn’t like, the end of misogyny in Judaism as we know it, it’s still a big deal in most religions to have a woman as their religious leader, essentially a position of religious power. For men to accept a woman as a religious leader is not something that is super common in most religions. And we’re like, a tiny congregation over a hundred miles away from anyone else, technically a Conservative synagogue, that’s super loving and accepting of a feminist running our shit... female rabbis are super common and I think it speaks a lot to how we’re progressing as a religion. Reform Judaism is going to be your best bet when it comes to tolerance but knowing that all three of the main branches are progressing, at least with this, is really comforting to me. 

However, that’s an extremely one sided view and doesn’t really show the issue as a whole. This super short article (? not sure) is a bit pessimistic in my mind but presents the other side of things and gives a good explanation of the traditional sources of misogyny in Judaism, so this could further your understanding as well. 

By no means are we perfect but we’re workin on it. Look into Jewish Feminism though, if you have the time. That article is just a lil intro to the topic. 

I’m Q*eer/LGBT and I’m not sure y’all are gonna be cool with that...

Well this one’s a doozy. 

I’ll kick this right off by presenting an article that is objective and does not reflect the author’s opinion, just lays out the issues at hand. It also has some links to other good pieces, including one cool story about a transgender man, Rafi Daugherty, embracing his role as a father and details his experience with pregnancy and giving birth. I should mention that I am cisgender so I’m interpreting this article through a different point of view, but it really does make a point of celebrating Rafi and his daughter and sharing their story. It does include a little cultural background context, but this is a positive story that I think deserves to be shared :) 

Then there’s this statement from the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism that confirms its absolute acceptance and support of LGBT Jews. 

On the other side of things, there are still homophobic and intolerant Jews. Conversion camps were not just a Christian thing, there were Jewish conversion camps as well, which is horrific. Idk what to say because I think homophobia and transphobia in Judaism is really similar to what you would find in Christian settings. 

I’m bisexual and I feel completely welcomed by other Jews who know this about me, and I certainly don’t feel any less Jewish because of it. 

I live in a place where Jewish spaces are rare.

I really hate to disappoint with this one but I don’t have any specific sources or anything like that. Alls I got to say is that’s why the internet is so great? I really don’t feel like that’s helpful at all, but I think for the most part, the Jewish side of tumblr is pretty accepting and welcoming. Obviously that’s not always gonna be true though idkdjaskfl;dj

I spose with this one I wanna encourage anyone who has any good resources for involvement or something like that to reply to this post or drop by my inbox and let me know! Or maybe just your thoughts on some Jewish spaces you’ve encountered? 

I hope this was helpful

In conclusion, don’t let anyone make you feel less Jewish. Your sexual identity, gender identity, and even your belief in G-d doesn’t take away from your Jewishness. I’d like to say that since I started delving into Judaism a little more I’ve found a lot of peace. And yeah that sounds cliche and also vague but it’s really a breath of fresh air to learn about my family and know more about this community. Also if you’re comfortable with or willing to try prayer, even if you’re atheist, it can be a good way to decompress sometimes, a really therapeutic kind of way to voice your thoughts and feelings and reflect on them. 

There’s so much information and culture to delve into but it’s so so worth it to learn and I’m really happy for you that you’re interested in getting more in touch with your Jewish roots. 

If any of these links don’t work and you’d like to see them let me know!