#just on a very long hiatus
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/62122705/chapters/158896096
Chapter eleven of A Silent Scream is now ready
Summary:
Starscream is always getting on Megatron’s nerves. Always complaining, or gloating, or just out right lying. All in that agitating voice of his. One day he decides to do something about it, permanently. Much to Starscreams horror, and Skywarp and Thundercracker’s disgust.
Still there may be someone who can help them through their situation, not a friend, but maybe not a an enemy either.
tags:mute starscream, megatron is a pos, skywarp is adhd, thundercracker is trying, the elite trine are basically brothers, mute bumblebee
ships: starbee (more ships may be added but this is the main one)
#fan fic#my fic#transformers#maccadam#jazz#skywarp#starscream#mute starscream#this is now my longest ever fic both in chapters and word count#though my second longest is technically still going#just on a very long hiatus
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/824064b5883d73683ba0c56367923c10/c593be7bb619a672-08/s540x810/371d91dacbbea7274df40317cd90d32645d4f199.jpg)
no thoughts just black haired Hirano-san
#hirano to kagiura#sasaki to miyano#hirano taiga#taiga hirano#sasamiya#hirakagi#hi im new to the sasamiya fandom on tumblr!!#just came out of a very long art coma so my style is very rusty but kagihira helped pull me out of my hiatus#I would imagine his hair is like a deep unnatural blue black since it’s dyed#also a fellow aroace hirano supporter#my art
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Corrupted by Design CH 4 | Feyd-Rautha x Reader
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c4bac0519924ee2e4c9a3d57327a6b80/173dc23ca4b6d5e1-c0/s540x810/4ad2bb85702984245fb1eda5447b2408df83298d.jpg)
After generations of pillaging and destroying their ecosystem, you are assigned by the Emperor to work on with the Harkonnens to improve their planet’s agriculture as Imperial Ecologist. However, Giedi Prime is far from welcoming, and you must fight to survive the horrors you endure at the hands of the Harkonnens. When you catch the eye of the Baron’s youngest nephew, and most prized possession, you step into a world complicated by politics and revenge.
Tags: Unbeta’d, AFAB Reader, multiple OCs, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, enemy to friends to lovers/enemy lovers, slow burn, fake science, blood, violence, gore, body horror, cannibalism, uncle/nephew incest (implied), eventual smut, etc.
A/N: I’ve never read the books, so this is a combination of the Villeneuve films, the Dune Wiki, and a heavy dose of just making shit up lol. I try my best to make Reader as nondescript as possible, but there are mentions of having periods and body hair in later chapters. As a warning up front, this will not have a Happily Ever After ending, but maybe more like Happy For Now?
Please mind the tags; this is very dark, but that comes with the territory.
Chapter Four: Obsession
Previous Chapter ⦾ Next Chapter
It took several days for the bleeding to stop. By the time you returned to the labs after your bedridden absence, that particular biting pain was replaced with grim paranoia.
Your diet of Bane built itself inside of you so slowly, until all at once it was like the pain was a part of you, a second skin just beneath the surface. The increased light sensitivity and hand tremors you could get used to—if only the constant stomach cramps didn’t purge what little food you ate. What did it matter if you were already dying?
You used up most of your supply of mint in effort to keep the pain at bay. Even after your period, your body barely adapted. It’s difficult to remember a time when you could merely breathe without feeling gutted.
Read More
#corrupted by design#betty writes#feyd rautha x you#feyd x reader#feyd rautha x reader#feyd rautha#dune 2 fanfic#dune fanfic#feyd x oc#feyd rautha x oc#this chapter brought to you by: radiohead & slow days at work & an unhealthy amount of diet coke#i am very VERY nervous to post after such a long hiatus....#there were many days i didn't even want to update because i thought that this chapter sucked so badly lol#but i am relieved to finally have an update that i am somewhat satisfied with#(if it does suck just don't tell me LMAO let me live in ignorance)
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have smth for u my loves
#not very long and not perfect but i’m cool w it anyway#and the vibes#also u have probably noticed but i’m on hiatus!!!#not that i’ve stopped writing just that i’ve slowed#bc full time work is Hard and i’m tired 😭😭
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hey everyone, i got some very important news, specifically on what's to happen to this blog soon!
please take your small time to read, as it is kinda important to me ^^
hello, hello!! it's me, tumblr user its-paperd, coming to you live with an important announcement!!
to put it very very simply, my entire blog will be on a VERY long hiatus, much longer than my usual 5 to 7 days kind
reason behind this is kind of personal, but it does kind of relating to school and grades. to put it simply, my grades haven't been going well and i admit, i have been getting addicted to this app a bit. too much hahah ^^"
now here's the thing, while i say it'll be a hiatus here, there would be a possibility of my blogs... getting deleted.
now don't panic!! i'm not exactly sure if it would happen but it might be a possiblity, so while my blog is still here, if there's anything you want to archive from my blog, it's best to take action and reblog some as soon as you can
get some of my spices, as you will kekek /silly
' oh, but paperd, you're taking this so well, don't you care about us? '
i do!! from the bottom of my heart, i do. it's just that it has been a long time coming, and it was inevitable that it would happen so i mentally prepared myself before i can give a proper goodbye ^^
with all of this happening, i can only think of parting words before i go radio silent
now things are gonna get sappy for me, kekeke <x'D
( moots i'm so sorry you have to learn about this this way <x| )
[ —-—-—-—-— ]
to my two bestest friends, @psycho-chair and @unknownarmageddon , the two members of the kross trio!! thank you both so much for being my friends, the moments we had in pony town will never be forgotten, and the memories we shared too. i appreciate you two being my besties, and i'm very sad to see myself go but to whatever that may come through, just remember guys!! keep being swag for me >:] live laugh kross forever ‼️‼️
to @jun1per-t33th !! my silly friend and amazing artist!! i always appreciate all the memes you sent to me, and your art is a banger every time!! ily so much, juni mwah mwah /p
to @justanidiotartist , my homie friend bud!! thank you for being my mutual, and all the art you made i have always been amazed, you keep being your fun, spectacular self, and take care!! :D
( honourable mentions, ily all so much <3 <3 /p : @the-arcade-doctor, @skelle404 , @corrupted-icarus , @karineverse , @captain-kretsnik , @sunnemona , @cherrio-krispz , @glitchysquidd , @socksandbuttons , @yuriyuruandyuraart , toka!! i see you >:] , other mutuals i've interacted!! you all are the best!! )
[ —-—-—-—-— ]
and with all that, my play of the show is done, but never over!! i will try harder for you all and hopefully, i can come back with pride and joy to you all!! thank you for your support, and i shall see you all again, whenever it may be!!
#tldr; i'm going on a long long hiatus ( with the possibility of my blog gone— ) and am saying good bye for now!!#i love you all so much /p and i thank every one of you for your endless support!!#it'll be unknown when i'll be back but just be ready alright!! just you wait >:] /silly#in all honesty i am very very sad i'll be gone soon but it might be my addiction talking cackles#until we meet again!! thank you and goodbye :]#( if this doesn't actually happen it'd be veerrryyy awkward whoops ejdbs )#buletinboard
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oh yall. OH YALL. i was listening to the do i wanna know hozier cover, as one does, and. and Y A L L. i just came up with a F A N T A S T I C fic idea — if i do say so myself 😌 — that's based on it. and i am... im kinda vibrating out of my skin about it, actually fhsjsjdjsk
#not to toot my own horn but. i was COOKING OKAY I WAS COOKING WITH G A S#i am. soooooooosososo tempted to like. actually try to write it too#bc like. oh man there is this One Scene in particular that i can just SEE soooo vividly like a film reel in my head#and ohhhh i KNOW i could crush that scene i KNOW i could#im so 👀👀👀#i opened a doc already fhskdkdks but aaaahhhhhh#its kind of a long(ish)fic idea and i would ideally want to put it out before the hiatus is over.#which doesnt leave me with TOO much time left#but also. i could do it in a month. i could. probably.#the spark is lit so like. i COULD#as long as i dont let myself get daunted by the longfic of it all 😂#ANYWAYS IM RAMBLING#but yeah. YEAHHHH.#i kinda wanna put the idea out there but also that would be. a VERY long post i think 😂😂#((oh and like. in case it wasnt obvious by my current interests it IS a buddie fic lmfao))
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This is not my usual content but this is something I will address.
I will be going hiatus for some time because, unfortunately, a close family member of mines have died in their sleep.
I will not say who but someone close.
I'll be back whenever I can.
#idk man#its very sudden#hiatus#i wont be gone long just some time to take a break#rottmnt#yandere rottmnt
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I just wanted to come home... I wanted to come home so bad.
Words by @electraheart2012
#my edits#richard rider#nova#marvel#marvel comics#marveledit#comicedit#gotgedit#queenlance post#aaaand I don't think I'll tag any big blog#this is the first edit I do after my year long posting hiatus and instead of focusing on erasing backgrounds - something I'm good at -#I decided to do this. I went through my edits tag and like my first 3 or 4 posts had no text and then I did two with text and was very happy#with them. AND THEN every single one after it has me complaining ''why is choosing fonts so hard''#I will do another Rich edit later (I even have some PNGS!) maybe when I'm finally on my break#ANYWAYS. I just have too many thoughts about Rich and the idea of coming home and this popped out unplanned out of nowhere
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well i've just seen my first dan and phil show!
#and jesus christ#and i mean that quite literally#spoilers but sister daniel and father philip made an appearance#it was quite something#i'm very happy#also 14-year-old me has been FED today she's SPOILED#i've also dressed more like her than in a long time#well since like last autumn#but i haven't worn a skirt this short since i was like 19#dan and phil#dnp#terrible influence tour#terrible influence spoilers#oh i just realised what that 14-year-old-me tag sounds like and i just meant that i've spent the day all alone in Helsinki#listening to fall out boy music that didn't exist before their hiatus#that i didn't believe was ever coming#dressed to the nines#and then i got to see dan and phil perform live like i always wanted to#what a nice day :)#and tonight i'm sleeping in a nice hotel#and tomorrow i'm flying to spain#internal monologue
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I noticed you're a Ryomina!!! How did you get into it? And do you have any good fanfics/doujinshi you can advice me to read? ANYTHING on Ryomina actually? I'm dying for anything about them!!! Thanks!!
yes!!! it's me!!! i'm ryomina fan (one of many)!!! thank you for visiting my askbox, i'll do my best to answer all of the questions because it always makes me happy to see that ryomina sparks joy for people! :D
...this got really long because i like linking to things, so i'm putting it under a read more (IM VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM)
how did i get into it? i got into persona 3 around august 2021 through the movies- at the time my only experience with the persona series was with P5R / P5S / P5D. p3 was the one that interested me the most (i thought minato was very pretty + i caught wind that the themes of the game were very resonant with people). i picked the movies over the game because i'm a guy who plays games at a snails pace, haha.
admittedly, i did latch onto ryomina because of the scenes in the third and fourth movie (i have mentioned in the tags of this art i drew how much i felt like i was exploding and blasting off to the moon watching it).
but what really dug me into the ryomina hole (and what has kept me there) was thinking about how much ryoji encapsulates the themes of p3- and how interconnected his fate is with minato. i wrote some musings about their dynamic here, if you're interested!
tl;dr: what if we were both boys and we were mirror images of each other and i inherited your kindness and looks but god doomed our narrative even though we're soulmates
on ryomina fanworks recommendations:
regarding fics: i'm going to assume that you've probably read the fics that have the highest kudo ratings on them, so i won't really be listing those.
a personal favorite fic that i always hold close to my heart is Eurydice's Vow by crescentmoontea, which explores the idea of ryomina in p5r's third semester. this was the first fic i read about ryomina and it made me tear up lots...
i also think a lot about I Alone Await You by Nail_gun, literally scrumptious writing that captures the ryomina dynamic so so well. actually check out Nail_gun's other ryomina fics while you're at it too!
other fun fic i'm fond of: can't get my mind out of those memories (what were they?) by foxmulder_whereartthou. ryoji being homeless lives rent free in my head and it's all because of this fic. there's a bunch of other fun ryominas from the same author too (i still need to read them)
BkZa555 also has some fun AU scenarios if you're into that too, notably with Zagreus (P5-Setting, Ryoji focus) and The Definition of Insanity (TIME LOOP fuckery!), but they're currently ongoing.
these were some ones that came to my mind first- as i have the strongest recollection reading them. admittedly i haven't really been reading fic this year, so i don't have many recommendations from fic that came out this year. but if you're so inclined to let ryomina consume your soul, i definitely recommend giving the newer works in the ryomina tag a look-see and see if it strikes your fancy!
as a side note, i do have a few ryomina fics that i've bookmarked on my ao3 here, though i have to say that i'm not sure how well they hold up in terms of like... what i would seek out of a fic these days. but they made past me happy so i bookmarked them, LOL. it's kind of outdated (my collection of fic recs has my old username *disintegrates*).
regarding doujinshi: i have not read all the ryomina doujinshi available, but as a starting point, please take a look at this list from pandora-scans from livejournal!
notably, this is where you can find the strawberry-chan say good bye doujin- which features a small and cute comic from shuji sogabe (the p3/p4 manga artist), as well as other artists. the existence of this doujinshi is the funniest thing to me because it's like "HEY if you're wondering what the volume 8 cover is really gay it's because sogabe contributed to a ryomina doujin." this fact makes my head spin (positive). it explains a lot about the manga.
regarding persona side material:
i know you didn't ask for these but i thought that i mine as well list these too, since i feel that the side materials have some fun expansions on ryoji and minato's interactions. i haven't... watched/read all of these but, hey, i like to share these things!
for comic anthologies for the persona series (some of which have ryoji!). if you're interested in reading them, here's a scanlation index from maboroshi-no on tumblr. i don't think this is a comprehensive list, but i think it will be a great starting point!
for some translations of the persona 3 drama cds, check out imaginary-numbers on dreamwidth! ryoji and minato interactions can specifically be found in the persona 3 character drama cd vol. 1, and for the audio + english subs, you can watch this video on youtube:
youtube
and ohh the musical. ryoji singing and dancing gives me so much joy. i haven't watched the musical in it's entirety (only fragments), but here are some links that may be of interest to you:
Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Sakuya version - playlist for the first p3 musical, translated by Phoenix Maiika.
Ao no Kakusei (The Blue Awakening), Kotone version - playlist for the femc version!! also translated by Phoenix Maiika on YouTube.
Persona 3: The Weird Masquerade (English Subtitles) - playlist by rumio!
P3 Weird Musical DVD & Soundtrack Booklet Scans by rumio_k - twitter thread that links to these funsies, if you don't have twitter, here's the publicly shared drive link.
god. these sure are a lot of links, huh? i hope you enjoy them- pick and choose whatever sounds most appealing! (if this overwhelmed you im sorry GKLHLDH i just like being very comprehensive in my answers about things so i got carried away).
and as a reminder, you (and anyone else reading) are always welcome to browse my tags/archive and reblog things from there anytime! i have... nearly 300 ryomina posts which, while mostly consists of art, has a few fics, meta, hcs, gifs, memes, and whatnot scattered about.
or browse the minato and ryoji tags too! there's.. nearly 1k minato. and 500 ish ryoji. and they're going to keep on growing because i can't stop being obsessed with archiving these things. god help me i am so deep in this hole called ryomina hell and now you're here too. welcome aboard!
there's always going to be a lot of fun ways to enjoy rotating ryomina around in one's brain, i think- they're a pairing with such fun symbolic imagery that is So Deep (to me) but ALSO they're immensely hilarious and weird guys (affectionate). so i love to share these things in hopes that it gives you joy too! they are the most couple ever (to me) (i'm biased)
thank you again for the ask! i hope it can satiate your need for more ryomina, and be a nice aide in exploring the p3 fanspace :)
#ohhh do i even main tag this#fuck it we ball i'll tag it#lizzy askbox#persona 3#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#minato arisato#i'm in a bit of a hiatus in terms of like.. looking at new ryomina stuff outside of fan art so i haven't seen Everything#but i would like to get back to it when i can be more cognizant and present to appreciate them#the grind to being a ryomina encyclopedia never stops!#my files and links are all messy i can hardly keep track of all the ryomina things... maybe i just need to make a neocities-#like cat's souyo archive (cat is an inspiration to me)#but FUCK man ryomina is so good. thank you for the follow and sending me this ask#i'm very sorry about the excessive length i can't help myself i'm very dedicated to wanting to know lots of things about them#i had a lot of fun answering this!#times like this make me want to return to like. my fic recommendation collection.. i gotta rehaul that stuff tbh#maybe after i've seen all the ryomina stuff i can make a ryomina iceberg based on what i've seen peple talk about (or not talk about)#it'll be a long while though. i feel like i've hardly scratched the surface even though i wouldn't call myself a casual enjoyer#ANYWAY BYE. no one ever apologize to me about being excessive because I AM very excessive and repetitive. LOL. have a good morning? evening
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Ok i cant keep it in my soul for any longer. WHY ARENT MORE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THE GOLDEN AGE THAT NEVER WAS?? i know its a bit of an older fanfic now but I’ve read all your stories and all your fanfics (im absolutely obsessed btw) and never in my life have i ever seen anywhere such chemistry as between TGATNW Pitch and Jack. That fanfic altered my brain chemistry, remoleculerized my being and changed my life trajectory. If you have any, just ANY scraps of tgatnw pitch/jack content that you forgot about or something, just know theres at least one person out here thats feral for it. (I would die for a pitch perspective of any kind)
(Also tgatnw pitch kind of reminds me of utb gary??? In the way that they’re both most peak alpha males i can think of)
Hi hi anon!
Tbh people were talking about it a lot more when I was writing it! You can always check out the TGATNW tag for the kinds of things we were talking about and the fanart and stuff :D
I have such a soft spot for that fic though, like, I think it's probably my favourite thing I ever wrote for The Rise of the Guardians, and it has some of my favourite worldbuilding. It's one of those 'wow I really should've put 80% of that story and worldbuilding into an original novel because I think it would've done something good for my writing career' but I'm also very chuffed that it gets to be something in fanfiction that we all just get enjoy however and whenever we want. :D
Unfortunately I'm a very WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) author in that I don't write lots of drafts or scraps of things and leave them on my computer. If I have something that's worth sharing, I will find a way to share it!
And yeah I definitely have different character archetypes I like writing, and Pitch is very similar to Gary! Even down to both of them having lost a loved one and walling themselves off emotionally to any new relationships as a result of that, and hurting the people around them because of it. Literally such a *clenches fist* baller archetype :D I'm definitely not done with it!
#asks and answers#tgatnw#the golden age that never was#tgatnw was just like#such a fun thing to write#i remember putting it on an 8 month hiatus#when i realised how long / huge it would be#and i'm still very sorry to all the people who were reading it at the time#who had to go through that!!#but it was one of those 'i have to do this now so i don't do it later when it's *really* crucial' lmao dsalkfjasd#administrator gwyn wants this in the queue
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mmg,, i might hiatus again,,,
I'd hate to do it, but there's no joy in crab posts as of right now, and also as of a long while ago.
Managing messages and responding to people in replies and being tagged and all the stuff in inbox is. a lot.
I never intended or expected crab blog to get this big, and it feels like such a chore to do at this point. Not that I dont like it, and not that I dont enjoy the fellow crab lovers, but it's certainly overwhelming.
That plus other socials and such that I manage and real life stuff is just. IDK, it's a lot. Usually, if I get to this point, I just drop off, maybe delete the account if I really can't stand it, but I'm definitely not going to do that here.
At the very least, I'm going to empty out the submissions that have been piling up, but after that, I'm not sure. I may not even get through all of those, I've already been relying on those for a long time at this point, and I think that's pretty obvious.
It feels like a hassle to deal with those anyways since most people don't even identify what type of crab it is that they submit, so I have to take the time to find it, which is usually not at all easy. There are so many posts that I've just had to guess what to tag it as because I just don't know, and there's no solid answer that I can find, at least not usually.
Which is also partially my fault, I've never said anything about it before, and I never specified it at an earlier time to make incoming ones less stressful to deal with, but even so I just. I don't know, I don't.
I don't know exactly when it'll happen, but it's the most likely thing to happen from here. I think I'll modify some stuff about how I handle the daily-crabbys blog to make it easier on me when I come back, but I'm not entirely sure what that'll be. I've never managed a successful daily posting account before, I haven't the slightest clue how to make it all easier on me.
Sorry that this has gotten so long, I didn't mean to rant. There's just so much that I feel like I need to say.
This isn't something coming out of nowhere, and it isn't going to be immediate. I've thought about wanting to do this for a while, and I know I did this already not too long ago, but I didn't really change anything for myself, so I'm just burnt out a lot faster.
Sorry again, both for the length of this and the fact that it's going to happen, but I've just got to make things better for myself before I carry on long term. I really just fucked myself over by not doing this the first time, but if I don't do something about it eventually then I'll just end up hating this blog too much to continue.
🦀💜
#not crab posting#heads up that this is quite a long post so in case you may not want to read it all(dont blame you) theres just a few things to know#firstly this isnt a random decision i made. ive thought about it for a while and dont think i was ready to come back in the first place#second is that it will not take place immediately! i dont want submissions to sit for too long so ill empty those out before i disappear#this includes a few that i wouldnt ordinarily post or have never found the right time to post. theyve just gotta go#third is that it is no ones fault. well thats not true. its mine. i didnt make changes i should have the first time i went on hiatus#im suffering severely from that now and have burnt out wayyy too fast. which is again no ones fault but mine#im going to change things to make it easier to handle. i need to if i want to keep this going for a long time which i very much do#i just cant when the thought of posting on here every day makes me so unhappy. im just too overwhelmed#im not sure what the changes will be just yet but they're going to be beneficial to me greatly
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my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:
#in other news… wORK IS OVER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#man. i’m s o tired. i can’t believe i survived almost 2 whole years at this job…#huh. come to think of it… i started tling idol sengen before i even got this job lol. and i’m only 3/5 of the way through it…#can’t believe the idol sengen grind->hiatus->grind(?) outlives my time at [withheld] company…#i did end up spending a cool 20 mins cleaning out my work locker though. i found so many treasures i didn’t even know i had in there#like. there was an unopened 3-pack of wet tissues a n d an unopened box of pens that i don’t recall buying#and ofc the 3 random sponges i ‘liberated’ from the lab. don’t tell my boss lmao#w a i t now that i think about it i should’ve taken at least 1 vial of (allegedly) carcinogenic sand for the memories. dammit.#oh well. what’s done is done i suppose. i did receive way more chocolate than i could ever eat though…#y. yeah. i guess i’ll miss my coworkers (a little). they were fun to annoy every day. except for the new guy bc i don’t like him at all lol#i have never met someone who lacked as much common sense as he. i think he’s gonna get canned before he’s able to resign on his own terms#dude could be spoonfed through every single step of the testing process and *still* mess up somewhere smh#but no. this isn’t about him. even though he is the final straw that led to my decision to resign#hm. looking back on it now. i think i was pretty good at my job for the most part when it came to the things i could do#or maybe i was too good at it. like. to the point where even more experienced analysts were coming to me in search of help#prolly gonna miss being one of the very best (out of like a grand total of 10 people at the lab) at doing ftir-related tests#ehehehehehehe i wonder if that workstation will continue to stay as organised as it is now that i’m gone#a n d i wonder what my coworkers will do now that they can’t ask me for ms excel help for the smallest of things lol#sometimes i just wanna tell them to g o g o o g l e i t ! ! ! when they call me over for it. but alas.#can’t believe these guys know how to use c h a t g p t and not ms excel (despite having it on their resume) smh#omg wow this got long and incoherent sorry guys i think i need some sleep lol. idol sengen next week..#…maybe…? no promises though!!!!!
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seeing people complain that the new idw sonic issue didn't have much going on plot wise . i guess that's true but is it not enough to just get an issue full of sonic and tails being cute siblings . i think that it is
#idk one of my favorite things about sonic is the characters and their relationships with eachother#so im fine with comic issues having simpler plots if they have really good character moments#but also isnt the main series going on hiatus for a few months until the fang miniseries is over#maybe its for the best that the last issue before that long break is a more casual story that wont leave us on a cliffhanger#idk i dont think anything here is very spoilery but ill tag just in case#idw sonic#idw sonic spoilers
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i just wanna say thank you to all of u / all of my mutuals because i'm having so much fun writing on ahri for the first time in a very, very, very long time. even if i haven't been back very long! i'm just really grateful and it's making me emotional! this character is a massive comfort for me, she's one i've been exploring and pouring all of my heart into and nurturing for just about a decade strong-- i mean, when i first picked her up, she had about 6 lines of vague lore, if that. everything was in my hands. and she's grown so much and my portrayal has grown so much, and so have i as a person with her. ahri means everything and then some to me as a comfort character, a form of expression, and an extension to getting to have so much fun with everyone.
she's also been a massive source of debilitating anxiety in the past for so many reasons that my close friends know, and it's been nerve-wracking dipping my feet back into familiar waters. but i think i feel really comfortable again. it's still a little iffy, but i'm getting there! i'm really trying not to let old issues bog me down too much and just enjoy my time here. so. thank you to all of you who help me with that, and make it so fun here. i just wanted to share some love ,, you know ,,
#𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 ⠀⠀(⠀ⅰ.⠀)⠀⠀𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑:⠀⠀ಇ⠀⠀oh-kae!#this is very sappy & i know it's just a small circle of you guys#but i dunno i'm happy to be here#after a long hiatus#because sometimes it's hard to wiggle back into old spaces or to feel good again?#i dunno man let me cheese!!
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bleh
#blabbering#rambling/whining/complaining/venting ahead:#I think the horrors have finally caught up to me and the depresso is starting to take hold#i don't usually experience this until winter but I think the sudden drop of activity and people going on hiatus and such -#has triggered this early for me#basically I can't be left alone with my thoughts for too long or i start spiraling REALLY badly.#i don't really handle change very well haha...#i have the notorious curse of second guessing anything and everything and putting it on repeat in my head and then amplifying it#which sucks bc I don't have any more escapisms that work now bc this was already my escapism and I have no human connections irl#(I'm not kidding either. I've failed time and time again to make friends irl and was always the proactive one about it. But alas... ugh)#my only source for connections is online bc i struggle to make friends (especially at my age and how my energy keeps depleting and depletin#might lowkey be sharkweek but usually I just get more agitated and not this (this is very specific to the winter horrors™ for me)#i guess I may as well check out the spears while they're around still (tho in between me making dinner). I'm just feeling super bummed out#and not excited like I was the other day about it (ofc I blame the depresso™).#I don't even know what to do for my beta characters. Head empty. Head gone. sigh.#also it sucks bc next week is gonna kick my ass at work (canada day/july 4th/july in general/5 DAYS and long shifts in there too)#i'm going to be so tired and so alone and with nothing to look forward to. Idk what to do bc none of my usual distractions are effective no#No escape. No seretonin. No company. Nothin'. I notice I when i start getting bad like this when I fall back hard into pokemon#(because it was my childhood escapism and I was a neglected only child who was left alone a lot; hence the connection lol)#i'll probably just have to suffer through it and be an absolute wreck of a person i think. I don't really have any other options#watch me get sick again bc canada sucks to work bc everyone has it off and they ALL GO TO THE STORE I WORK AT AND IT SUCKS.#gonna try to draw more too but the depresso is eating my brain worms (the healthy brain worms)
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