#just not in the way they intended to

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[officialspec]

can i say something. for years i thought the joke of the song short skirt/long jacket by cake was that he wanted a woman who was hung like a horse. like i thought when he says jacket it was a last-second fakeout because he very obviously meant to say cock. and the rest of the things in the song were just her personality and interests. which were secondary to her awesome penis

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:

michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club

*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***

that's it that's the movie

outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative

actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.

aka Michael Myers Is A Republican

but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too

also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain

side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty

i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978

(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)

oh no he's hot

[bloominglegumes]

i love normal guys doomed by the narrative

[egophiliac]

So I was doing some math, and I THINK Skully is almost as tall as Malleus without his horns

I think the main reference to his height is Epel being surprised they're the same age because he's taller than Sebek, yes? which I find interesting, considering Jade and Malleus -- two of the tallest guys in the main cast -- are also there. and, since I've never been one to not think waaaay too much about the absolute stupidest minutiae about fictional characters, I see two possibilities:

one is that Epel is extremely good at eyeballing heights (I actually do feel like he could be? like. I'd believe he can estimate someone's height fairly accurately by calculating based on the life stages of an apple tree, or how many apples tall they are, or something else apple-related like that.) and Scully does, perhaps, fall into that narrow margin between Sebek and Jade in height.

OR two, out of the three certified Tall Guys there, Sebek is Epel's main frame of reference because he's the only one he's had any real interaction with for, let's be fair, pretty obvious reasons.

SO in conclusion, we still have no concrete answers and will probably have to wait until next year when we get his card profile, alas alas. 😔

[crescentfool]

december 31st but i make it silly (based on a tumblr post, below the cut!)

everyone say thank you xenia, i made adjustments for the december 31st context but nyx avatar is still fitting.

original draft of the last panel. i considered putting the bi flag but i didn't know how to squeeze it in. we love ryoji mochizuki in this house.

[sangrefae]

kind of a redraw of a manga panel but honestly just me being emotional abt them as per usual

(recommended listening: cosmo sheldrake's cover of green grass)

[latenightsundayblues]

Fucking love the final flashback montage in saw VI because the way they edited it makes it look like hoffman is pissing directly on an unconscious erickson's bald head

Ive been cry laugghing for five fucking minutes

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

Do y’all know that headcannon that Remus Lupin and Luna Lovegood are both used to be called Loony, so when someone suddenly shouts “Loony!” across the hall one day at Hogwarts, they both turn around at the same time…?

Well, Luna sees what her professor does, and she immediately understands.

And suddenly, she starts coming to his office every now and then, for a little chat or something. She asks him questions, and he offers her tea, and it soon becomes a routine.

It’s ironic in a way. Somehow a twelve year old girl named after the moon, of all things, who manages to cheer Remus up.

And he manages to make her feel better too.

[rystiel]

the damn geometrussy got him

[crabsnpersimmons]

I need Head of house Eclipse to know that I can also be ordered as an off the menu option

wait anon--

Eclipse: You’ll have to wait though, my dear. I don’t get off until 10pm, but then… you can be sure I will thoroughly enjoy my late night snack~

[lucabyte]

A belief in Nominative Determinsim

[ryssbelle]

Inspired by these comics by @zivazivc and this comic by @chongotheartist

This has been chilling in my mind since I first saw ZivaZivcs comic and I finally got the energy to make it XD

[shiningbean]

doodles because the finale aaahhhhh (yes as you see i'm already trying to cope)

agatha has been a ghost for like a hot minute and she's already dead set on becoming the most annoying ghost in ghost history

[benevolenterrancy]

Art prompt of Shen Qingqiu holding the aro flag (fits his color scheme)

the real reason this man doesn't realise he's tripping every romance flag in the story

[dawnbreakerluna]

i might… need you to elaborate on dilf sylus and dilf zayne pls

oh just thinking about how dilf!sylus would wake up before you and your twins, despite having sleep trained them to wake at certain times to accommodate for your schedules. dilf!sylus who would prioritize the morning routine to be his responsibility, knowing that you need all the rest possible (for he will continue to say this down the line as the twins get older); everything down to bathing, dressing, feeding, that by the time you've woken up, he's prepared late breakfast/early lunch for you as your babies are being put down for their first nap of the day. he takes pride in consulting his personal stylists for the finest and most comfortable threads for clothes, even against your warnings that babies grow very quickly. while you are the thing he is most grateful for in this lifetime, he is so much more content now with how you had given him more blessings to hold dearly to his heart.

now when it comes to dilf!zayne, there is the expected scenario for as a doctor, he knows all the micro changes your body will go through with pregnancy. that aside, he finds himself at a bit of a challenge post-birth as he witnesses his daughter's growth with his very own eyes. dilf!zayne who seems off his routine more than usual in the glance of his colleagues; because though he has worked with children countless times, he finds his mind overwhelmed with all the possible dangers out there as he's combing out his toddler's damp hair. you end up being a pillar for those constant worries, that it gives dilf!zayne some room to be able to breathe. he's gotten better at making his daughter's pigtails look sleek and effortless, but more so focuses on the details of what makes her laugh, the food tastes that make little face her cringe in disgust, and ruining the house's pristine wallpaper to measure her growth in height. the most renowned cardiac surgeon in linkon city who is always well-kept and orderly. yet he doesn't mind the disruption in his schedule when it comes to his daughter's "happy accidents." he comes to accept that while raising his child will take everything, it most of all requires his patience and an open mind to the unexpected. but with you, his dearest, at his side, he knows it'll be alright.