#just not feeling as inspired about dnp idk

[philsmeatylegss]

*Types into search bar*

“How to still be an active fan of a creator when previously being an obsessive fan for most of your teens because they were one of the few good things keeping you from killing yourself in middle school so now trying to become a more casual fan feels like a betrayal and I cannot get into new fandoms because the high I got in middle school from the extreme emotion switch cannot be replicated both because I’m literally twenty and I’m far from suicidal so now and I love these creators with my whole heart and still engage with all of their new content but I want to move on while also still being a fan but I just can’t?”

[victoriaspriing]

2023 writing gif-making round up

Rules (adapted for fic, gifs, art, etc.): Share what you made this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you made or just the projects you're most excited about.

I was tagged by @swearphil! thank you sm renee <33

Hii!! so 2024 is right around the corner, happy new year yayay. Actually, if I think too much about it I think I'll start crying cause like what do you mean we're less than 42 hours from staring a new year?!! 2023 doesn't feel real tbh time in general doesn't feel real but yeah anyways I'll save that convo for another time. I'm here today to reflect on all the gifsets I've made throughout this year, which let me add, has been A LOT. I'm going to start by sharing some fun stats (yes renee I'm copying you <33), and then I'll do a fun top 5 of my fave gifsets, and to finish it off I'd also like to use this to shout out some of my fave people and creators on this hellsite cause you all made my 2023 so much better and I love you all for that <333

fun statistics:

In total I made 61 gifsets in 2023

57 are heartstopper (not surprised)

3 are 911 lone star (mostly tarlos)

1 are dan and phil

In august I made 20 gifsets, which are the most gifsets I've made in a month this year

In may I made 1 gifset, which is the month I made less gifsets this year

6 of the gifsets are song lyrics edits

3 of the gifsets are heartstopper comic edits

31 of the gifsets are scenes from heartstopper

6 of the gifsets are heartstopper compilations from s1 and s2

top 5 gifsets from 2023 (in no particular order)

that one dnp gifset: I think most people know that I was and still am a big dan and phil fan, and that I spent most of my teenage years obsessing over them and giffing them and only them. Well, they went on hiatus and they stopped having a big impact on my life util they decided to come back and ruin my life again (in a good way). This gifset was the first time I giffed them since like idk 2019/2020, and it does mean a lot to me :') it's not really about the concept and the coloring, I chose this one to be apart of my top 5 for sentimental reasons, and I think that's valid.

give your friendships the magic you would give a romance: once again, sentimental reasons. when I read this quote on loveless it just spoke to me in so many levels. One of the things I love the most about heartstopper is the importance they give to friendship and I just had to make something that highlighted that and I think it turned out super good.

I think nellie loves him: well, now I think I snapped with this one akdhjahak I just love it so much. the coloring.. the heartstopper tv scenes with the heartstopper comic scenes, like chef's kiss, just perfect. of course this is not an original idea so I'd love to thank @rose-nobles for inspiring this gifset <33

mr. ajayi loves museum dates with his grumpy bf: and just like that we are back to sentimental reasons ahdhkas. well, this was one of the first gifsets I made when season two came out and it blew up. I've never had that many notes on a gifset, and honestly I think it's well deserved cause the coloring is good and I had finally just figured out how to sharpen gifs, so yeah love that for me.

I'm bi actually: I had so much fun making this one. the amount of bi coded elements and colors I included on this, I WAS ON A MISSION. the fact I made the font wobbly hsjgdjaka, I love love this gifset.

a little shout out to my faves (I hope you all have an amazing 2024)

@swearphil ☆ @barrowsteeth ☆ @narliee ☆ @cafecdramin ☆ @heroeddiemunson ☆ @nelsonnicholas ☆ @curlyhairedprince ☆ @wylanvannecks ☆ @aimeegbbs ☆ @indimlights ☆ @jelloandsugar ☆ @perrieedwards ☆ @imogen-heaney ☆ @thatwasthenightthingschanged ☆ @klinejack ☆ @birthdaysentiment ☆ @seeleybooth ☆ @sonseulsoleil ☆ @taraolssons ☆ @immortals-malec ☆ @parissquads ☆ @rose-nobles ☆ @itwasmagic ☆ @perccyjackson ☆ @naomismcpherson ☆ @neverfindmegone ☆ @charlieisverybored

Okay I think that's it, I'm so sorry if I missed someone. I'm also tagging everyone that wants to do this, just say I tagged you in it <33

[dansevilpianotea]

ramble ahead about time, tatinof, 2015 and changing one's life

tatinof is very special and im so happy they did this video to acknowledge that its not cringe at all and that theyre proud of their past selves !! there's sth genuinely healing about that !! ive had a hard time in 2015 and even tho i was 12/13 and just discovered that online fan communities of things i was into were a thing and was nowhere close to the phandom (i joined after BIG), this is the fandom internet that i joined back then. thats why its so poetic that they sing 'the internet is here', because to me this is the time it started to be there for me. it wasnt always kind to me and instagram was not a great platform to start on if your bullies and other ppl from school were also on it, but it was also when for the first time ever i realised that there were not only people who liked what i liked but that those ppl also have created their own culture and community online !! i was not totally alone !! there is a life outside of school !! i would never chose to go back to that time ever like it was horrible (that applies to any time in the past tho, i hate the idea of 'going back in time' with a passion) but im glad that the internet was there for me because no one else really was if im being real with you.

more below the cut because im an insufferable yapper (dan is a terrible influence haha tit joke)

this all is maybe why i find it hard to go back to watch dnps older content and also the stuff from the tatinof era. dan's sarcastic self-hating persona and phils innocent nerd persona are both hitting a bit too close to home and i want to both cry for them and for myself. we knew nothing back then. we were lost and yet did sth we were proud of. yet here we are almost 10 years later and how the fuck did we end up here but oh my god im so proud of us. all it took for me was to watch dan's coming out video. all it took for them was to be embraced and loved by their audience (us). dan also needed a break which is something that at the time it happend was really hard for me but then i found my wonderful lovely phannie discord friends here. we really all got here together and if i ever see any single person say that dnp hate us or dan hates it or that dnp are cringe or that we are cringe etc etc i will block you so hard because what are you even doing bringing up drama when in reality dan and phil and the phandom have developed the most remarkable symbiotic relationship between artist adn fans ever. they are our dads and i honestly just want to say how fucking proud i am of them for how far theyve come and what theyve done since 2015. dan really did the whole mental health and gay thing but then he did the mental health again!! and i think ywgttn and wad need to be given more credit here because idk if you remember pre-wad dan but he wasnt anything like post wad dan. every since wad he seems so happy and genuinely authetic and in peace. (im ignoring dystopia daily here because that was filmed before wad and his dd persona also reminds me too much of 2015 depressed dan than whatever high concept he was going for lol, im just not a dd fan). like wad changed his relationship with us and its warming my entire heart when i see dan smile so much now. he deserves to be happy and proud. and if dan deserved it after going through so much and coming out on top (literally), then i deserve it too. and phil? i love how he's just so confident now. fuck. (literally). he is not the innocent nerd anymore like he actually is fully really himself now and feels comfortable in his body (crop top, phlonde, etc) and openly expressing his sexuality ! even compare this phil to phil from the beginning of the hiatus!! he got so much more confident and relaxed since then!! like fully, really, if he can do it, if he can strip himself of the persona that ppl have attributed to him because of his anxiety, then i can do that too. im so proud of phil. he is an inspiration and the more he's being himself publically with no shame, the more an autistic phannie will feel hopeful for their future. im so proud of both of them.

like its crazy you go through your life thinking you're going nowhere and never making any progress and will never reach your goals but then you stop and look back what you were like 6 months ago and realise how many lives you have lived since then. it always goes back to BIG when dan said this:

[...] I thought I was trapped in a situation forever when in reality, the entire world I lived in and my life changed completely. I thought it was hopeless when in reality there was so much to hope for and that's it. Time changes everything. With the lives that we have, we can try anything we've dreamed of. I want anyone that's ever felt like this to realize you are never trapped. There is always hope. You just need to believe in yourself and get to the other side.

this everyone, changed my life. and i will never be able to thank dan enough for it, no matter how much i pay for tour tickets, how often i watch their videos or share my love for them on here. i just want to mention this because its never just 'light entertainment', it means the world to many of us and we have build a wonderful and loving community despite the hardships of the past and pointless discourses of the present. like, we can change shit for ourselves because we see these gay idiots do it who have done soooo fucking much in the last 15 years like they were on radio 1 and on a hollywood billboard and hosted various big big events. and yet, they decided they want to use their time to do things for themselves and their community. they have said many times that they havent made a profit from (parts of) their tours but they do it regardless. they do really love us and i dont think ive ever really felt loved by people who i was in a fandom for like that. its really not as parasocial as it might seem anymore. we got here together and we should be proud of that. i love dnp and i love you phannies so much !! 💕💕💕💕💕

[goldenpinof]

Wait do we not even like SuperSeizer’s editing? I thought the worst edits by far were CasualGuyy’s and those seemed to calm down a bit with the last ones, but i found them more busy than fast. Seizer just has the best jokes, she really seems to me like she shares their brand of humor but can contribute her own Gen Z jokes. I think I’m used to Kris by now sfsgd. Like i think the thing i enjoy most about him is how much dnp clearly trust him.

This was long i would actually most of all love a concrete example of what you guys mean by “fast” editing, especially if you have an old video to compare it to. And only if you (or someone reading this) feels inspired!!

i personally don't like SuperSeizer's editing. can't speak for everyone, though. i agree that she puts funny jokes, but i hate the way she cuts moments. too many jumpcuts, a lot of them are unnecessary right in the middle of the sentences just to make the pace go faster. her editing took me out from the beginning. that spooky golf video? hate the editing so much, i couldn't even make myself gif the video because of the jumpcuts. stopped watching the sims videos partially because of that as well. wii sports was fine though, gonna give her that. others? too fast, too many jumpcuts. and from a gif-maker pov, very hard to gif. too many moments ruined by zooms in/out or just, like i said, cuts in the middle of the sentence.

overall, even though i also like Kris' editing the most (and here his ap videos are not as fast as dnpg videos). still can't make myself rewatch anything because it's just not the vibe i'm looking for. the editing of all 3 of them makes me anxious. and i'm not particularly a fan of the sims series but i'd rewatch pre-hiatus just fine, because they are kinda slow and i don't have to worry or pay attention to every second of the video.

dnp's editing on the other hand.... don't scream and poppy playtime 2 — bro, could watch it again and again. but i can see that even they are trying to go faster now. not to the extent of their editors, thankfully.

can't really give you examples right now, because it would mean rewatching stuff. and i can't :( if anyone wants to contribute, feel free <3

edit: speaking of Kris. the push the button video is edited awfully. idk what happened, but if you compare it to the pre-hiatus push the button, the difference is scary. i can't for the life of me understand what is going on in 2024 video.

[yonpote]

wait now i need to know you're top 3 scenarios (in detail) for an accidental dnp meeting🎤

OK OK most of them are set in nyc cuz that feels like the most likely place to meet them also the last two are abt meeting just dan cuz they were conjured while he was on tour and honestly if i ran into phil by himself neither of us would say a word in shock and recognition but i would have an easier time talking to the yapmaster

im in a park in the city, brooklyn or manhattan. i see some tall ppl who look confused and are asking for directions to the nearest gay bar. i tell them about all the ones i know of and then we just chat and i act really cool like idk who they are but at the end i smile and tilt my head like "wait a minute... dont i know you from somewhere?" and theyre like "haha were youtubers" and im like "yeah i thought i recognized u 😏 well i gotta go so i'll see you around online lol 😌" and walk away coolly like im not internally dying.

i'm in a crowded subway car reading this mental health book i bought nbd. at the next stop a seat opens up and this tired dude sits next to me. i look up from my book which of course has the US cover. i look at the guy and look at the cover and he notices the book as well and we have a good laugh about it like haha thats so funny your face is just on the cover teehee. he tells me that phil got lost looking at the subway map so i give him directions to the stop that phil is waiting at. the next stop is mine so i wave bye and say "tell phil i said hi 😝". (ok theres a pattern in these scenarios fidgdg)

ok this ones straight up inspired by the phannie who was on the same plane as dnp. i'm boarding a plane, and who sits next to me but dan howell! i ofc noticed him earlier at the airport, gave each other acknowledging stares of "i know what you are" but not wanting to hop out of the tsa line just to get a selfie. but now that he's sat beside me i'm like omg heyy thats so funny haha maybe im wearing merch cuz i do wear my merch out a lot and one of us points it out like lol omg catboys >w< i tell him he can take the window seat cuz i need a quick exit as a Tummy Problems haver, and he says thanks. we dont really talk on the plane other than to use the restroom and such, he's mostly listening to music and i'm playing on my switch and like we're gonna be trapped in this tube for five hours so i dont need to make this a living hell. i make a point to not use the in-flight wifi to tell everyone whats happening lol and the rest of the journey is all relatively chill and we do get a selfie once we land at the airport and go our separate ways <3

[jonsaremembers]

Bottom Dan truther here! I think that Dan’s naturally very feminine, and he’s passive under the loud persona he puts on in front of the camera. He was so young and timid and inexperienced when he first met Phil and Phil was this hot strong older man with a big cock, and you know that little twink took that whole cock and came over being called a good boy. And these personalities haven’t seemed to change over the years. Dan is so whiny and those high pitched moans he makes in videos really are that of a bottom! That slap from Father Philip during his birthday stream was so hot and natural, you know Phil’s gotten mad and bent Dan over his lap and spanked him until he was crying before, and then gone in right after so Dan feels the burn.

Sorry I think the bottom Phil jokes they make are very clearly a bit they’re doing with the audience, because it’s so out of character for Phil to be a bottom and Dan to be a top, unless it was a once in a blue moon dom Phil riding sub Dan so hard that they’re risking breaking the bed. Idk how anyone can look at them and think anything other than Phil is a fucking sexy dom top and Dan is this bratty sub bottom. (Sorry bottom Phil truthers, sometimes their jokes are just jokes)

👀

Thank you for sharing!

A disclaimer because I realized this feels a bit like me inviting top/bottom discourse: it's all in the name of fiction. I am not trying to assume or definitively state anything about dnp's actual relationship or squash it into a binary box where it doesn't belong. The truth, I find, is often somewhere in the middle, and I am not in the business of telling other people how their sex lives should or shouldn't look.

I asked for bottom!Dan truthers in my inbox because I want inspiration for how to write that dynamic, so that my writing better represents the wide array of forms queer sex can take (I write a lot of bottom!Phil atm).

I welcome input on this, however, whether that's further descriptions of what people find compelling about any dynamic to depict in fic, or further discussion of how to keep this from being too prescriptivist. I'm not here to put more suck into the world, as the vlogbrothers say.

[nbrory]

idk if it's just me but my top two fandoms (bts, dnp) all have a distinct style of fixation that, when combined, manage to make life a lot less confusing to exist in. sorry mbav and heartstopper, i was obsessed with you for a few months because i so badly wanted to live in your universe but you haven't stuck with me for 5+ years like these two did :/

for example:

bts are the biggest celebrities on the planet who absolutely deserve all the recognition they've received and more. they work so hard and go through so much in order to create beautiful music that spreads deeply meaningful messages. they are relatable and human and went through their respective emo phases like i did, yet they have still achieved insurmountable success. knowing that i could make an impact just like them one day is equally inspiring as it is daunting. the fact that they reference things such as lgbtq+ history, feminism, and Palestinian support in subtle but indisputable actions with their massive platform comforts me in knowing that there is hope for the world.

dan and phil, on the other hand, make me feel free. being a trans-masc/enby person stuck in a conservative family is terrifying sometimes, but watching dnp never fails to wash my fears away. it's like im sucked into their world whenever i watch a video, one where everything is ok and i only have to focus on two soulmates playing a game or going about their day. their refreshingly explicit advocacy for queer people and mental health make them the only people who have ever made me feel like I truly belong.

ok rant over I just wanted to get my thoughts out there because none of my irls would care and I know this is the sentiment some other ppl share so. you're not alone if that's the case!

[lesterlashes]

About Me!

Hi everyone! My name is Caitlin but you can call me Cait!

I've been a lurker of dan and phil content since like 2015 and (unfortunately) this hyperfixation never faded so I figured it was time to make a side blog.

My url was inspired by pinof 8 ("if you were a fan account what would your phan name be?" "definitely Phil's eyelash") this is also my @ on twitter if yall wanna follow me there (mostly still lurk there tho lol)

Bisexual woman (she/her) Idk how 18+ this blog might be but to be safe minors dni

my main blog is @caitlindeal

Anway I'm a full time university student in the US (Philly (lol)) and a part-time sales associate (rip retail)

I just want more dnp mutuals/friends since they've been such a big part of my life for so long now and I need to stop bothering my irl friends about it

So pls feel free to message me or send me asks about anything!

[dykephannie]

you’ve been mis for so long! are you okay?

yes hi i’m okay!! thank you for checking up on me :’) i’m just not as into dnp and posting about them right now but i’m pretty active on my main blog @venusgfs if you want to follow me there! :)

[mostly-humanish]

The more I learn about the phandom the more I realize how much of a community it is...like there is that yearly survey thing, there are the fanfiction awards and the fanfiction catalogue, there is that fundraiser auction, the blog for phannie birthdays, and then the news blogs that post anything dnp do, and the people that draw stuff and write stuff and gif stuff...idk this is probably really obvious to most of you and probably exists in other fandoms, but it is just really cool to (kinda?) be a part of a community. Idk if I were dnp I would feel so honored, they have inspired so much culture and collaboration, and friendships and even relationships, there is like an entire network of people working together to celebrate and appreciate them...just, wow

[dooandpoo]

God you're so nice! And articulate and smart and SOOOO TALENTED!! Howww??? Anyway ignore my fangirling. Thank you for being a part of this fandom it's been a blessing to have you here and your drawings gives me sm joy. Idk if you read fanfiction, but if you do what are your favourite ones orrr maybe ones that you would feel inspired by in terms of your art ??

Thank you darling!! This makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and I don’t know how to deal with that!! <3 <3 <3

As for fanfiction, I read TONS, but never for dnp. I don’t “ship” them, I like them. They’re a cool couple that I’d love to hang out with, that do funny things, that make good content. I appreciate them. But I don’t create shipping-type art, or read fiction about them. It just feels weird to me?

PLEASE don’t take this as me looking down on anyone who does! I understand that fanfic of real people is just fictionalized versions of those people, and the fandom is just having fun. I love that and respect that! But I personally can’t do it for dnp. Keep doing you and keep reading fanfic of those funky dudes!

[chickenfreeblog]

tftwa question time: what was the plot point that inspired the whole fic? did you have any significantly different endings planned? Did you prefer writing about dan or phil or an oc? is hazelnut your favorite ice cream flavor (if not what is?)

ahhhh thank you so much buddy!!!!!! 💖💖💖i can’t do that simp emoji on my laptop but just imagine it or whatever

tryna be organized:

what was the plot point that inspired the whole fic?

i know i’ve told this to a handful of people but literally the genesis was that i was like okay i’m bored of being laid off. i’ll write 800 words for this little prompt generator plot about a shy person in an ice cream store. whatever. and then had to go to andrea with eight chapters and be like um........ so......

anyways, i think honestly just the existence of Alex is what set off a lot of the fic? they pop up as a total throwaway line at the very beginning of the fic and i genuinely meant to go back and give them a binary gender gfdsh, but then i just started thinking about like, dnp’s relationship with being queer and the community, and how they’ve really filtered that experience through each other for a decade? and like, what could have happened if they hadn’t met and dan had gone to london on his own for uni because there wasn’t a phil involved. i guess that’s not a specific plot point, it’s literally just one line, but i definitely think a lot of the fic is really just driven by dan’s relationship w alex!

did you have any significantly different endings planned?

not really lmao!! i had to wade through the middle but i knew i wanted them to [redacted] and didn’t want dan to come out, so it was kind of just a matter of getting there

did you prefer writing about dan or phil or an oc?

oh that’s always a tough one!! i honestly hadn’t written dan’s perspective at all before tftwa, except for maybe like one oneshot? i was a little nervous about that, but i feel like he can be a really complicated character and it was fun to write that!! i had a lot of fun w phil and alex though too, especially with alex because they definitely can be like... less than perfect in a way that was fun to work through

is hazelnut your favorite ice cream flavor (if not what is?)

i’ve always been a ben n jerry’s half baked person, but we have a little gelato place by my house that we go to sometimes, and they have a really good.... wait for it...... hazelnut n chocolate flavor that i am VERY into. idk if i’d ever tried it before i started writing tftwa but i think i’m a convert now

[yikesola]

5, 6, 7, 8, bb 💜💜

5. How would you describe your style?

overwrought and rhythmic, and i mean that in the best possible way— i mean it in the way that phrase fills your mouth when you say it and the way your eyes pause at particular vowels when you read it and the way the hard consonants at the end of both words is finite.

6. Where do you usually find inspiration?

dnp of course provide a ridiculous amount of inspiration for fic, but so does convos w people like keelin and cal that get me excited about what i can Do with an idea. i also just get a lot of inspiration from the other media i consume and from the things that feed my soul, like a rainstorm when it’s been too warm here or my cats rolling to beg for tummy rubs or how i cannot stress enough how hot i am in my new overalls 👌inspiration is anything that makes me Feel and i’ve been doing a lot of that lately, arguably too much though idk who’s arguing

7. Do you listen to music to help you write?

almost exclusively. rn i’m listening to “folklore” and “tourist season” on repeat so you can imagine the emotional toll akdjfks

8. What’s the biggest “challenge” for you as a writer?

focus. it’s also my biggest “challenge” in life. what to focus on, where to put the energy. i have about four different things i could be working on writing right now, but i also bought those little beads that you put together on the plastic grid and then iron them, y’know? so i spent two days sorting them by color into little containers. i also have an art project that is partly mosaic and partly collage that i wanna try and all i’ve really done for it is occasionally go into my garage and break blue wine glasses on the concrete floor and sweep up and break laser discs with the claw of my hammer and sweep it up. i also want to put some of my knitted cat squares on etsy to help cushion my yarn addiction but in order to do that i’d need to iron them and photograph them and measure them, and instead i just keep knitting more. i also have a book my aunt wants me to read, it’s about religion and losing a parent and the author is from our small town and once worked with a different aunt and the book sits on my bedside table angry at me for neglecting it. speaking of reading there is so much good fic i’m behind on, and i’d love to dive into, but it’s all a matter of focus focus focus focus focus — do you see what i mean? that’s just counting “leisure time” activities. there are so many millions of moments that go into making up a human life, isn’t there

[ttlmt]

4, 14, 23

4. share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

oo okay, so i have a few wips and i have no idea when or if they will ever be published - but this is from my dan-taking-his-laundry-to-phils fic/scott helman songfic that i’ve been working on for a while. idk why i like this bit tbh, but i think it captures dans feelings pretty well in the fic.

He thought about Phil and his YouTube channel. Phil with his linguistics degree and his masters in video editing, making videos for thousands and thousands of people, telling his stories and making the world laugh. Making Dan laugh. He thought of his own channel, becoming more popular with each day as people found him or Phil shared some anecdote on twitter about the guy named Dan. He liked making videos. He liked telling the internet stories about how awkward he was and the stupid things he’d done. He liked making videos with Phil. He liked anything with Phil. That’s all he really cared about. YouTube and Phil.

14. at what point in writing do you come up with a title?\

depends on the fic really, sometimes the title is the first thing i think of - often i write songfics or fics loosely inspired by songs so in those cases the title usually comes easy (even if its stereotypical). otherwise i write the whole fic and find some words in it that i think are poignant and use those. or if its based off a real dnp moment ill just use something they said.

23.  what’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

psychic. phil. i literally have a whole (short) multichap fic planned out, its just fantasy and worldbuilding (even though this is urban fantasy) is just not my strong suit. i have a few urban fantasy on my irl tbr list to try to get in the right headspace. its something i really love the concept of so i want to do it well.

i also have a pretty much fully written song-fic to ‘wouldn’t it be nice’ that i wrote at my cabin in summer 2019 when i was surrounded by homophobes and just wanted to be me with the people i care about, but it is a mess and i just havent gone and cleaned it up. 

also my dnp birthday photos fic which i have started to publish but im stuck on that one atm.

thank you!

[dvp95]

9 and 12? :>

best month for you this year?

i've got a visual representation on my mood tracker app because i'm awful at noticing patterns (i ended up quitting a job that was making me miserable every day and didn't even notice how much it affected me until I saw how much my mood lifted afterwards) and both july and september were wonderful for me for different reasons!

in july i was settling into a groove with my family and my partner and my job, and then in september i found my groove with my hobby - writing! i've never felt the way about writing the way i do in this fandom. it's such a good and motivating environment for me while dnp themselves stay inspirational. love it!

talk about a friend you made this year!

well idk if you guys have heard of puddle, but i'm kind of obsessed with her :/ for real, you've been such a huge part of why i write and why i smile most days!! you've been so lovely to befriend and i was ridiculously honoured to write with you. you're hysterical and i stupid grin when i get notifs from you! sorry to be genuine lmao. if it helps i also love our mutual bullying!

also while i think we all know chicken is the only thing that's stopped me from crashing and burning at an alarming altitude, i also felt ridiculously comfortable with them immediately and just wanted to make them laugh because i kept hyena laughing at everything they said. this led to us having our own joke language within like a week djdjkd it feels like i've known them a lot longer than i actually have and they're the first person i think of when i have something to say (and i always have something to say. sorry chicken.)

i'm really grateful to all the friends that dnp have helped me make but y'all are the first to come to mind in terms of how much you've affected me!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕

[kae-karo]

can you please tell us about what do you love about phil, i saw bunch of dan appreciation posts recently, i need those sweet little facts about phil as well

hoooo boy can i

so here’s a thing right some people have a tendency (less so lately but still) to say phil is childish? but like the interesting thing abt that is that i think people mistake things we typically associate with childhood (embracing imagination and creativity, excitement over little things, doing whatever and not really caring what other people think, wearing bright/fun clothes simply bc he can, eating lots of sugar, immense curiosity, etc etc etc) with being childish? the reality is that phil is a grown adult who chooses to not to take life too seriously, to indulge in his excitement and show off his weird creativity and just have fun with what he does and his life. and that’s actually sort of really wise? like it’s probably one of my fave things about phil, that - in most regards - he doesn’t seem to feel caged in by societal expectations or ‘being cool’ or w.e. he’s basically picassoing his life (x) and it’s really amazing? pun intended?

but like. beyond just that, it’s clear he understands when to take things more seriously (ie parts of his ‘i changed my emo hair’ vid and parts of ii) but the immense level of maturity he has is that he knows when to stop taking things too seriously? like i think the emo hair was perhaps one of the only things he held a lot of anxiety around and that he took far more seriously than he needed to

part of why i love phil’s like. childishness if you will (i don’t Like That but it’s shorter than re-explaining it every time) is bc he’s just such a grounding force? like for dan i imagine it’s helpful to keep him out of his head when phil straight up says random shit like how his aunt had a piercing in the space between her finger and thumb except maybe it was just a dream. but also like. phil has this very clear appreciation for the present? for things that are happening right now and things that exist in this moment? a cute dog, a plant, a fun jumper, etc etc like this isn’t even a proper list but you get the idea

the point is like. it can be super hard to have that level of groundedness, and it’s honestly inspiring in a way? like hey y’know what i know i’m having like. a rough day, but this is a super cool cactus so y’know maybe things aren’t so bad

the other thing i love and this sorta comes along with everything else is like. phil takes no bullshit? i’m sure y’all saw my post already (x) but honestly phil dragged someone for calling him ugly but also like? in the sense of bullshit? he takes none? if he doesn’t wanna talk abt something, he doesn’t, and if he does want to talk abt something, he does, and idk for all the hiding behind the AP brand and stuff i think this past year we’ve gotten a very Real phil? like i think that of both dnp but phil especially

like i get the feeling? he’s always been very vocal with his opinions w. dan? but now he’s finally open to expressing them to us? but like my point being i feel like he’s got strong convictions with things, in the sense that he really forms a sharp thought based on what he felt and then sticks with that. he’s also started doing that with mlm comments where he just says things without any indication he’s joking or ‘being ironic’ or any insincerity and it makes me super happy tbh

anyway phil’s a king and i love him