#just need to shout at my friend first lmaoo
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xx-just-a-demon-xx · 1 year ago
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Pleeeeeease post the soup fic plssss 😭👏🙏
hfgdsjkgherskhgiesrhi give me a bit, ive just frantically DMed my friend who beta read it to help me with the fic name lmao
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chrissdollie · 1 year ago
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Dad Bakugo x mom reader - I need more children in my life 😭✋🏾
def calls his kid "squirt" and "buddy"
in mY universe, he has a boy and a girl bc he needs the best of both worlds
CALLS YOU "MA" GOODNIGHT
we all know he wakes up really early, earlier than you even, so he's the one to check on the babies/kids every morning to see if they're ok :)
definitely keeps schedules of you and your kids days like exams, report cards, if they're going to a friend's house, etc
yk how most kids tend to be like "ewwww" whenever their parents kiss?? not ur kids nono. first of all, your son is the quieter one. not that he's not talkative, he just has a little bit of a hard time expressing himself. anyhow, his sister is very loud. but either way, they both think its sweet. your daughter even said something like "i hope my husband kisses me like that" once (when she was an older kid tho lol)
your son goes to talk to you a lot. he adores you so so much. but one day when he wanted to hang out with you, you weren't home. you were busy running errands while katsuki was at home watching tv. your son started crying and katsuki was like wtf?? eventually, your son grew accustomed to speaking to katsuki. as he got older, he actually talked to him more than you.
teaches your son how to be a man :,) katsuki knew he was bitchy in his younger years and he didn't want either of his kids to be like him. he taught them both manners and how to properly have a conversation.
little pitter patter of their feet ran into your guys' shared bedroom on christmas morning and began jumping your bed. katsuki groaned and rubbed his eyes aggressively. "it's christmas, mommy!" your little boy shouted. "wake up daddy!!" your daughter shouted in his ear. "alright alright you rugrats"
at your daughter's kindergarten graduation (idk if everyone had this but i did lmao), katsuki was tearing up and although he tried to hide it, he had to remain the strong one while comforting you while you bawled your eyes out.
p.s your daughter is the oldest
when she brought home her first boyfriend... ooo chile
i see a lot of people writing how katsuki would act up but tbh in his older years, i think he'd be a lot more mature. he'd greet the dude politely and treat him like he would any of her friends
btw lemme just say: your daughter is a mommy AND daddy's girl. she loves u both insanely
honestly while eating dinner with the boyfriend or something, katsuki would be very blunt and not pay too much mind to him LMAOO he'd be like "'tis is great, doll" as if you don't cook dinner every week and it's only when your daughter brings up how he wants to work at katsuki's angency, where he perks up
"oh shit, no kiddin'?" and you smack his arm lightly.
well this changes everything! he practically gave the kid his blessing. "welcome to the family son"
your son doesn't really care about them together, he just doesn't wanna see his big sis get hurt. lets say that your son is 15 and your daughter is 17. "so, bf/n. have you fucked her?"
you almost spit out your drink like a cartoon. your daughter is shook, katsuki's rage from UA is all coming back to him, and the boyf is scared for his life
you, katsuki, and your daughter have a little talk after dinner
"use condoms" kats stated. "i- WH- nono you can have sex next year." you corrected but ur daughter is like huh?? "wha why next year?" you scoff. "because you'll be a legal adult thats why." "no offense, momma, but that's really dumb. when did you and dad start having sex?" she folded her arms. katsuki shrugged. "like i said, use condoms."
you and your daughter gossip like crazy alr?? ur like the gilmore girls except you're married and didn't get pregnant at 16 (almost)
and this is nothing new to katsuki, he's heard u guys gossip trillions of times. but when he found out you guys talked abouy HIM TOO??
he busts into the room. your daughter squeals and runs behind you. "hi honeyy-" he shushes you, "you guys talkin' shit 'bout me?" "nope" you guys say in unison. "there's this other guy, uh.."
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vanillanaps · 1 year ago
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Still Get Jealous | Steve Rogers
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Request - Hello, I think you are a master writer and I have a drabble of blurb request only if you’re up for it though. Could you write a jealously trope for steve using the song red high heels? :> If it doesn’t inspire anything, that is okay. Thank you!
A/n - I must’ve forgotten how to write drabbles/blurb cause babyyy I got carried again lmaoo. But, unfortunately anon I didn’t find inspiration with the song you requested I still wanted give you jealousy and red high heels, hope it still fulfills you!!
Category - Steve Rogers x Reader, Angst
Warnings - Steve is a jealous asshole with a reckless mouth, reader drinks to ignore the pain
Word Count - 1.3k
♡♡♡♡
It had been approximately two weeks since Steven Grant Rogers left you alone in your apartment after he had broken up with you. In just a little over a month, it would’ve been your year anniversary with Steve. You were both happy and getting ready to take things to the next level, so it was beyond shocking when he sat you down to explain that he ‘just couldn’t do it anymore’ but you were smart enough to spot the bullshit.
Regardless, you cried. You were falling in love, hard and fast just for him to up and leave you out of the blue. But, as the second week of sulking had taken its time slowly ending, something in you snapped. You realized that you shouldn’t be home, crying and depressed about a man who clearly couldn’t give a rats ass about you.
Wiping your tears, you sat up as you searched for your phone in your tangled sheets and blanket. Once you found it, you quickly dialed the number of your favorite girl who could easily take you out of your slump, “Wanda?”
“Hey, Y/n. I’m so glad you called, you haven’t been responding to my text, I was worried.” She had answered the phone with concern in her voice.
“I know, I know, I’m sorry. I just,” You paused, sighing as you threw your covers off of yourself, jumping out of bed, “I’m just sick of crying over Steve you know? I want to go out, I want to have fun, I want to get back to who I was before him—and I wanna do it tonight.”
“Tonight? Y/n, are you sure you’re ready?” Wanda questioned. She was fully supportive of getting you out of the house, but she just wanted you to be sure.
“Yes, tonight. Be ready in an hour.” You told her, hanging up before she could respond, knowing she would try to mother you. Get your real feelings out as to why you were so suddenly ready to go out. But that’s not what you wanted. Even if it was for one night, you just wanted Steve off your mind.
♡♡♡♡
The music blasted loudly in the speakers surrounding the club, the atmosphere through the roof. As you took it all in, you could slowly feel the man slipping from your mind, “Let’s get a drink!” You shouted to Wanda. The two of you held hands as you shuffled to the bar, careful not to lose each other in the club, “Tequila shots please!”
“How many?”
“Just keep them coming!” You shouted to the bartender. He nodded, pouring up the shots and passing them over onto the counter.
“Are you sure, Y/n?!” Wanda asked, picking up her shot as you grabbed yours.
You nodded, “I just need one night not thinking about that—idiot!”
She nodded before holding up her glass to cheer with you, “To forgetting about that idiot!” You both laughed before clicking your glasses and taking the shots.
As promised, the bartender kept the shots coming after each time you both finished one. You felt there was no better way than drowning your sorrows than letting the liquor run through your body, mellowing you out and then letting you forget about the world surrounding you.
But no alcohol in the world could help him forget. Not as he stood in the back corner of the club, watching as you and Wanda take shots back to back. At first, it didn’t bother him. You were out with your friend, having a good time. His ears didn’t turn red from anger until he saw what you were wearing. You had his favorite number on.
A black, skimpy, body con dress that squeezes you in all the right ways, showing off your attributes that he loved. Barely covering your ass so if you were to bend over, the entire club could see all of you. You had your hair in his favorite style and not to mention that red gloss that was painted across those lips that felt like heaven to him. But that wasn’t the worst of it.
Steve made his way closer to you, not close enough to be seen but close enough for his eyes to trail those legs that used to be wrapped around him 24/7. Catching those red, sexy, strappy, five inch stilettos that he bought you. The ones he use to fuck you endlessly in. How could he be such a fucking idiot.
“Wanda, I wanna danceeee!” You slurred, all of those shots starting to take control of your mind and body. You felt good, you felt great.
“Come on!” Taking her last shot, she grabbed your hands quickly pulling you to the dance floor.
You weren’t sure when it happened or how it happened, but at one moment, you were dancing with your best friend, having the time of your life. The next, your ass was pushed up against some man’s crotch as you grinded on him. His hands trailing to any part of your body he could reach. You didn’t mind though, you deserved this. You especially didn’t mind when he nuzzled his face into your neck, pressing soft kisses into your shoulder and neck. For the moment, you were enjoying it and then—you weren’t.
“The fucks your problem dude?!” The random man yelled when you were snatched from his hold.
Your body ran cold when you pulled yourself together, just long enough to see who ruined your dance, “Steve?! What are you doing?!” He ignored you as he grabbed your hand and dragged you through the club and to the exit, “Stop it! Let me go!” He didn’t stop until he got you outside of the club, “What’s your issue?!”
“Two weeks huh? That’s all it took for you to be in the club? Dressed like a hooker and dancing like a slut?” Steve shouted. Immediately he regretted it when he saw the look on your face, but there was nothing he could do to take it back now.
You scoffed, shaking your head, “You’re a real piece of shit, you know that Steve? You broke up with ME for no reason! I cried for two weeks straight because of you! But now, since I’m in the club, with a hooker outfit that YOU bought me, by the way, I’m a slut?!”
Steve's blood was running hot and he was running of anger and jealousy, “You’re drunk, Y/n.”
“I’m not drunk!” You shouted, right before stumbling over your feet, “I’m not that drunk! I’m sober enough to realize that I was doing and to tell you to leave me the fuck alone! I’m not going to spend the rest of my life crying over you when you don't want me! And that stunt you just pulled? Let alone calling me a hooker and a slut all in the same breath? I’m glad we broke up!” You felt it, you felt the tears starting to bubble underneath your eyes, but you didn’t let them fall, “Just leave me alone! I just want to be the person I was before you ruined me, you asshole!”
“Y/n, I’m sorry.” He called out as you started to back away from him, “I broke up with you because I was scared! Everything between us was moving fast and—and I didn’t know what to do so I left!”
“I don’t care, Steve! I don’t care! It’s too late!” You shook your head, not wanting to hear any more excuses. Not wanting him to ruin your night anymore than he already had, “Go find someone else to be scared to fall in love with.”
Just then, Wanda came running out of the club, relieved to see you standing there, “Oh my god, I’ve been looking for you! I was worried.” She breathed, but halted in her tracks when she saw Steve a couple feet away, “Steve? What are you doing here?”
“Leaving, he’s leaving.” You responded for him, turning your back to him and facing Wanda, “Let’s go back inside, I need another drink.”
She nodded, wrapping her arm with yours as the two of you headed back inside without so much as a glance back at the man who realized he truly lost everything.
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04mxfutbol · 1 year ago
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Reality (Pt. 3) (Christen Press x Reader)
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A/N: Do I love this? Yes. Did I maybe cry? Also yes. Am I hoping you’ll like this? Definitely yes. Is Alex just a soft little bean in this fic? Maybe.
This is Alternate version 1.
P.S. the playlist for this specific fic was brutal. Sad song after sad song. Had to channel my past for this lmaoo. Had Khalid’s first album on repeat. Specifically 8teen. Because OOF the emotions and memories to that one. Then it was happy songs so it was all over lmao. It was BRUTAL.
Enjoy! (:
“She blocked me again.” You tell Alex as you get into the car. “I’m not so bothered by it anymore but it does sting a little.”
“At least it stings less this time.” Alex says as she closes the car door. “Y/N you really need to stop looking at her page.”
“I just miss her so much.”
“I know Y/N.. I know and I’m sorry. Just take a nap okay? It’ll be a while until we get to your parents house.”
“Thanks again for driving.”
“Not a problem.” Alex says with a smile.
You closed your eyes as Alex began to drive. Remembering one specific Fourth of July.
“Okay let’s go on another ride.” You tell Alex as you pull her hand.
“Can’t we take a break? I’m tired.”
“No. No breaks, you said you’d go on another ride with me and you can’t back out.”
“Ugh. Fine.” Alex says with a sigh. Following right behind you.
You looked back to see if Alex was following you and she was, but as you turned around you bumped into someone. You turned back around and saw the one person you didn’t think you’d see.
“Christen?”
“Y/N?”
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Christen says with a smile. “Alex.”
“Christen.” Alex says with a nod.
“I-um. How have you been?” Christen asks you.
“Good. How have you been? It’s been a while.”
“Good as well. Yeah it’s been a while.”
Two years. It’s been two years since Christen decided she didn’t want to be friends. Ever since she saw you at a game with Alex. The night that changed everything.
“I’m here with my neighbor and my boyfriend. I want you to meet him, he’s really nice.” Christen says.
“Uh yeah I’d love to.”
“Come on.” Christen says grabbing your arm.
She walked through the crowd, your hand in hers and you felt like it was all back to normal. It definitely wasn’t, but for a few seconds it felt like it was.
“Y/N. This is my boyfriend Justin. Justin this is Y/N a friend of mine.” Christen says.
Friend?
“Hi. Nice to meet you.” You say as you extend your hand out and shake hands with her boyfriend.
“Nice to meet you as well.”
“Hey do you want to go on a ride with me?” Christen asks. “Nobody else wants to go on it with me.”
“Sure yeah. Alex doesn’t want to go on with me because she’s tired.” You say looking behind you.
“Look it’s not my fault I get dizzy.” Alex says.
“Come on then.” Christen says with a smile. “Please?”
“Okay. Yeah let’s go.”
You wanted to stay there, to stay in that moment. Forever. Like it was all before.
After waiting five minutes in line you both got on the ride. You sat next to Christen, like you always did. The ride was finally being lifted up as it got ready. Once it begun it was spinning and going upside down and all over.
“AHH.” Christen screamed. “Are you not scared?”
“Nope. I like the adrenaline!” You shout.
“I’m scared!” Christen shouts. “Oh yeah that’s right. You and your darn need of adrenaline!”
You extended your hand out and Christen quickly held onto your hand. You turned your head and saw her closing her eyes.
“I forget you scare so easily.” You shout.
“Oh my god I feel like I’m going to throw up.”
“You’re fine, I got you.”
As the ride began to slow down Christen still held onto your hand.
“I missed you.” Christen shouted as she squeezed your hand, opening her eyes as she turned to face you.
You felt your heart stop and race at the same time. Oh how you longed to hear those words come out of her mouth.
Once the ride stopped you both got off the seats.
“I missed you too.” You tell Christen just before you both walked back to where her boyfriend and where Alex were. Christen smiled at you as she gave your hand one last squeeze.
“Y/N. Y/N wake up we’re here.” You hear Alex say.
“Already?” You mumble as you rub your eyes.
“Yes already. Come on, your parents are waiting for us.”
Both you and Alex grabbed all your luggage from the backseat not wanting to make two trips to the car. Too exhausted to even walk to the door, having had practice that same morning.
“Honey you’re home.” Your mom says as she opens the door for you. “Alex I’m so glad you decided to come.”
“Happy to be be here, thank you for inviting me.” Alex says as she drops the bags on the living room floor. “We’re very tired though.”
“Very.” You say as you hobble towards the couch and lay down. “Very tired.”
“There’s food but I think you’ll want to sleep. Am I right?” Your mother asks you.
“Indeed I do. Alex can you carry me to my room?”
"You can walk." Your mother says making you groan.
"But I'm tired."
"Oh well, get up and walk to your bedroom."
"It's fine really, I do this every once in a while." Alex says.
"Excuse me?"
"Now why would you say that." You say looking up at Alex. "Why? Do you not love me being alive?"
"I- uhh. I never do this, it’s the first time.” Alex says as she picks you up from the couch and walking to your room.
“Are you going to take a nap with me?” You ask as Alex places you down on your bed.
“Maybe. I kind of want to read or just listen to some music.”
“You can do that here.” You say as you scoot over and get under the blankets.
“I could but then you’d end up taking the entire space.”
“Fair.” You say with a shrug. She was right, you often took up all the space, you slept in the most random positions. But it was comfy, or you thought so.
Alex let you take your well needed nap, as if you hadn’t slept on the way to your parents house. She knew you needed more rest. Letting you sleep, she walked back to the living room, grabbing her book and headphones.
You were home for the Fourth of July. A time of year that Alex knew you couldn’t be alone.
It was the one holiday that stringed you deeply. She wasn’t going to leave you alone.
A few blocks down from your home, Christen was also home, visiting her parents home. Along with her boyfriend.
“What’s this?” Justin says as he grabs something from under Christen’s bed. “A box with a binder? What’s in here? It’s full of notes?”
“Give me that.” Christen says, eyes wide as she realizes what box he grabbed. The binder she kept that was filled with all the notes you had given her.
At the beginning of your friendship you were too shy to actually talk to Christen. So you did the best you could and communicated to her with notes. Christen loved each of them, each having a huge significance to her. They held many memories of you both.
“Christen, thank you for being the best friend I could ever have asked for. Turtle.” Justin reads as he skims through all the notes.
“Give me that.” Christen says as she gets up and attempts to grab it from him, but he only pulls away trying to read more.
“There’s one from you, you wrote this one. Y/N this is part four of the notes and I want to start by saying that this part-.” Justin is cut off as Christen snatches the binder from him.
“These are not for you to read.” Christen says with a stern voice.
“What the hell are those notes? Christen. What was that last note?”
“Nothing. They’re nothing.”
Lies.
They were everything. Everything to her. It was what still somewhat connected you both.
“They sure seemed like something.”
“They’re notes. Y/N never actually talked to me when we first started becoming friends, so she wrote me notes. I talked and she wrote notes. We communicated that way.”
“That’s weird.” Justin says with a chuckle.
“No! No it’s not. It’s not weird. She’s shy, she hates talking, she could only show affection and appreciation through notes. It’s not weird it’s-it’s.”
“It’s what? Cute?”
“No, it’s who she is.” Christen says as she looks down at the binder. “She’s shy, she’s always been shy.”
“Seemed to me like she loved you.”
“In a friend way.”
“Definitely not in a friend way.” Justin says as he gets up from the floor. “And you also loved her.”
“Of course I did, as a friend.” Christen says.
Justin shakes his head and scoffs as he makes his way towards the front door.
“You loved her and definitely not in a friend way.”
“What? No I didn’t.”
“I don’t want to be in the middle of whatever you two are. It’s clear you and I aren’t working. I’ve tried to get through it but you and I don’t work. You’re not in this relationship, it’s all one sided. I don’t want that. Especially when you’re in love with an old friend that you haven’t gotten over.”
“What? That’s not true.”
“I’m done. You may not want that but I’m done. Y/N seems to take all the space in your head.” Justin says as he walks out of Christen’s home.
Christen stood in front of the door in shock. Should she run out and try and save her relationship? Definitely. Not?
Instead she did something else, she got into her car and drove to your house.
As Alex was just about to fall asleep she heard a loud knock coming from the front door. Taking her headphones off she looked around and saw no one.
So naturally she walked to the door and opened it. The Y/L/N wouldn’t mind since she was here a lot.
“Christen?” Alex says as she opens the door, realizing who it was.
“Alex? What the hell are you doing here?”
“No, what the hell are YOU doing here?” Alex asks as she walks out and closes the front door.
“I need to talk to Y/N.”
“No. You can’t.”
“This isn’t your house.” Christen says as she tries walking around Alex.
“And it’s not yours either.” Alex says as she gets in Christen’s way. “But I am a regular at the Y/L/N household. And I’m saying you can’t go in the house.”
“Alex I need to talk to her so get out of my way.”
“To tell her what exactly? To maybe apologize and become friends again but also still hate me? Yeah I don’t think so. You’ve put her through enough. You also blocked her again? So no you can’t talk to her. Figure out another way.”
“Alex. Let me in.”
“You want to know something? She never thought she was good enough, but did you have to make it worse?” Alex shouts.
“Let me in I want to talk to her.”
“You treated her like nothing, like she never mattered. But yet she still stuck around, thinking you would change. Thinking you would keep your promise that you would change! She hoped you would change! Change like you promised her!”
“I know what I did! You don’t think I know what I did? You don’t think it’s not in the back of my mind all the fucking time? You don’t know what our friendship was like.” Christen shouts only making Alex more frustrated.
“You ruined her. Shattered her heart into a million pieces. Oh Christen please spare me the I don’t know because I KNOW. Who do you think has been there for her? Certainly not you.”
“Alex. Let me in the house. I need to see her and I need to talk to her.”
“You know the worst of it all? The worst of it all was you taking the wonderful person she was before you.”
“I didn’t mean any of it to happen.”
“Then maybe invent a time machine and think before you do something. But right now I won’t let you talk to her. She’s tired, she needs sleep. We had practice yesterday and this morning then we drove here, she doesn’t need something or someone else draining her energy.”
“Screw your Alex! Why are you even here at her house.”
"I'm here because I was invited by her family. It's the Fourth of July weekend. Should be a holiday for you to remember right? Fourth of July." Alex says as she turns around and walks back towards the house.
Alex goes to open the door but right before she does, she’s shoved by Christen.
"Oh screw you Alex!" Christen shouts.
“No, screw you Christen. For screwing her over and over. She deserves so much more than you.” Alex shouts as she shoves Christen. “Screw you!”
Alex shoves Christen one last time before entering the house. When she enters she sees you, barefoot and sleepy.
"Al? Were you yelling?" You ask as you rub your eyes. "It's late."
"It's eight pm Y/N." Alex says walking towards you.
"Who were you talking to?" You say groggily.
"Just a neighbor." Alex says.
"Oh uhh everything okay? Wait, why are you yelling at one of my neighbors?"
"Loud music from their car, that's all."
"Oh, who?"
"The neighbor from across the street?"
"Oh yeah they usually have loud music but you get used to it, Alex you definitely shouldn't have yelled at them though. They're nice people trust me."
"Noted." Alex says. "Should we go back to your room?"
"Yes. I'm exhausted." You say as you grab another pillow from the couch. "Carry me?"
"No I already did that earlier today. Now come on before we bother your family with the amount of noise we’re making.”
“They’re not asleep Al, they’re just in their room watching tv or reading. Now come on I’m so tired.”
“When aren’t you.”
- - - -
“So I pushed him and he fell in the pool because he was too distracted by three golden retrievers.” Your aunt says, making everyone laugh. Everyone except you.
“Hey you okay?” Alex whispers.
“I feel so empty.” You whisper.
Alex gives you a sympathetic smile as she wraps an arm around you.
“One day you’ll be here again and you’ll feel happy. I promise you that. You’ll find happiness.” Alex whispers and you give her a weak smile.
“Thanks Al.”
“Alex do you have any good stories? I’m sure you have plenty, especially of Y/N. How long have you guys been together?” Your uncle asks and you turn to look at Alex, then back to your uncle.
“We- we’re not dating.” You say then clear your throat. “We’re best friends.”
“Oh my apologies. I thought, or I guess I assumed which was totally my fault.”
“It’s fine really. We’ve dealt with worse.” You say.
“Have we really?” Alex asks and you shrug.
“I don’t know. No?” You say making Alex laugh.
Alex pulls you closer into her, her hand reaching for your hand.
“But I do have good stories.” Alex says.
Alex began telling your family stories of you from being late to your first practice with the Wave to falling from your seat on the plane because you had fallen asleep. It was definitely a bit embarrassing but Alex also gave them embarrassing stories about herself, probably so you wouldn’t kill her.
You laughed through it all, never letting go of Alex’s hand. As she told all those stories you looked at her and something inside you was feeling nervous. Alex turned to look at you at the most embarrassing parts of each story, squeezing your hand and smiling.
Alex looked at you and she smiled, suddenly Alex felt like she was looking at a different you. Smiling and laughing at her telling the stories. She loved to see that side of you. She was feeling something deep inside her that she hadn’t felt in a while. Alex subconsciously shook her head and turned back to finish her stories.
After a long night with your family, you and Alex went back to your room.
Alex went on to shower to get ready for bed. While she did that, you sat on the floor of your bedroom, pulling a box from under your bed. Already haven taken a shower, wanting to be first.
You opened it and there it was, two folded pieces of paper. You grabbed the first one, unfolding it and knowing, it was part one of Christen’s note to you. The fact that it was written in pencil gave it away that it was part one. Part two was written in red pen.
Dear Turtle,
When I first met you, you were so shy. I asked you a semi awkward question but yet you answered anyway. Since then we became best friends. You never really talked to me the first year of our friendship but instead you communicated with me by notes. I liked that. It was adorable…
A whole page. A whole page that she had written for you. That was part 1. You pulled out the second part of the note. Flipping it to the back as you remembered something about it.
Part 3 until Friday. There’s four parts. I love you so so soooooo much.
You remembered it all too well, Friday came but the third part didn’t. Neither did the fourth. It never got to your hands. You had asked Christen when you’d get them but she said another day. That day never came.
“Hey, you okay?” Alex asks. You turn around and see Alex in her tank top, drying her hair with her towel.
“I- uh. Yeah I’m fine just looking at something.” You say turning back around and placing the notes back in the box.
“Are those the notes?” Alex asks.
“Yeah.” You say putting the box back under the bed and standing up. “Ready for bed?”
“Always.” Alex says with a smile. “You?”
“Always.”
You get in the bed and scoot over, making room for Alex. It also helped that your parents bought you a bigger mattress.
“You look good for going to bed.” Alex says and you laugh.
“Your hair looks good.”
“Thank you. I’m trying out a new shampoo.” Alex says and you smile.
“You smell better than this morning that’s for sure.”
“You weren’t complaining earlier.”
“Yeah well you were driving for me, I didn’t want to risk you making me drive.” You say. Alex let out a gasp as she smacked your arm.
“Oh how sneaky.” Alex says with a stare making you giggle.
“Goodnight stinky.”
“Goodnight Y/N.”
“Wait, can you put your playlist? It helps me fall asleep.”
“I can do that. I see you’ve become a fan of my playlist.” Alex says with a grin.
“Well seeing as you’ve subconsciously made me a fan of your favorite artist over the years, how can I not?”
“Hey now, be real, you loved it the moment I showed you my favorite song.”
“Goodnight stinky.” You say as you face away from Alex. Closing your eyes and relaxing as soon as you hear Alex play her playlist.
You remembered the day she showed you her favorite artist.
“Are you a fan of Taylor Swift?” Alex asks as you both run to the car. Rain pouring down as you got out of practice.
“Haven’t listened to her music so can’t say I’m not.” You say as you open the door to the car.
“This new album, Speak Now is phenomal. Let me play you my favorite song right now and it’ll make you a fan trust me.”
“I trust you.”
You both get into the car and Alex quickly puts skips the tracks on the cd to the one she wanted.
“This song is called Sparks Fly. Definitely one of my favorites so far.” Alex says as the song begins.
You may have enjoyed it a little bit but you wouldn’t dare say that to Alex. That was her favorite song. Personally you thought Fearless was good too, you wouldn’t tell Alex that either. Both were great.
The following morning you were woken up by your phone buzzing. The time alone made you groan, five am. You reached for your phone and saw the name you hadn’t seen in a long time.
“Tyler?” You say groggily. “Is everything okay?”
“Hey, it’s Christen.”
The voice alone made you wake up.
“Before you hang up, do you think you could come outside? I know it’s early but I’d like to talk to you, before our next camp and preferably.”
You turned around and saw Alex still sleeping.
“Give me five minutes.”
You were quick to change and walked outside, Christen was right in front of you. Standing in front of your home.
“Hey.”
“It’s pretty early.” You say with a yawn.
“I know and I apologize but I’ve been wanting to talk to you.” Christen says, hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt.
“Well here I am.”
You both began walking down the block, the sound of birds chirping filling the silence between you both.
“Justin and I broke up.” Christen says and you turn to face her.
“Oh? I’m sorry.”
“We weren’t made for each other. It was bound to happen really.” Christen says and you hum.
“Is that what you were going to tell me?” You ask facing Christen.
“I wanted to apologize to you. I’m sorry I didn’t apologize sooner. You deserved an apology a long time ago, so I know this apology is overdue. But I’m truly truly sorry, you didn’t deserve what I put you through.”
“I accept your apology.”
“Really?”
“What shocks you? That I accept your apology? Christen I’ve never stopped caring about you, your apology to me gives me some type of peace. I wouldn’t say closure but peace because losing you was the toughest thing for me and an apology from you is what I think I needed. So thank you for apologizing.”
“Long overdue.” Christen says and you look down at the pavement. “I don’t expect us to be friends again but I’ll always care about you. But I’d like to maybe try and be friends again?”
“Give me some time?” You ask Christen.
“Of course.”
You nod as you both turned back into your street.
“Thank you for coming out and listening to me.”
“I think we both needed it.” You say and Christen nods.
“Well here we are.” Christen says as you both stop right in front of your home. “Thank you.”
“Thank you.” You say as you turn to look at her.
Oh the awkwardness, you remembered it all too well. It was if it were middle school all over again. You never knew what to do.
“Have a good day.” You say as you rock back and forth on your heels.
“Have a good day turtle.” Christen says with a smile.
You smiled softly at her as you turned around and walked into your house.
You let out a loud sigh as you closed the door. Resting your back against the door as you closed your eyes.
“Good morning?”
You were startled, immediately opening your eyes and seeing Alex across from you.
“Geez you scared me.”
“Are you okay?” Alex asks as she walks towards you. “I woke up and you weren’t in bed.”
“I went out for a walk.”
“Are you okay?” Alex asks again.
“I went on a walk with Christen.” You say walking away from Alex.
“And are you okay?” Alex asks as she catches up to you.
“She apologized.”
“Really?” Alex asks, her tone sounding confused.
“Really.”
“Y/N.”
“I know what you’re going to say Al but she called me and wanted to talk to me and I just kind of wanted to see her.” You say turning to face Alex. “It gave me some peace. Maybe I can finally move on Al.”
Alex tilted her head slightly, she took one step towards you and hugged you.
“I’m happy for you Y/N.” Alex whispers as she hugged you tight.
Wrapping your arms around Alex you felt safe in her arms. The warmth she gave you and the feeling of being safe was nice and it was something you hadn’t felt in so long.
As she hugged you, Alex felt happy for you. She was happy you had finally gotten an apology. Resting her chin on top of your head, she rubbed your back and didn’t let you go.
“Peace.” You mumble against Alex.
You weren’t even sure if you were talking about Christen apologizing or being in Alex’s arms. What you were sure of was having some sort of peace.
For the Fourth of July, you and Alex spent it watching movies and fireworks. Munching on snacks you both loved.
“You and me.” Alex says as you watched the fireworks.
“You and me.” You say back as you leaned back into Alex, she was quick to wrap her arms around you the second you leaned back into her.
Your family all gathered around watching the fireworks. Telling more stories and making s’mores.
Peace?
“Smile.” Your uncle says as he grabs his camera and takes a picture of you and Alex.
- - - -
A month later you both headed to national team camp.
You hadn’t talked to Christen since the morning she apologized. You and Alex were also a little closer than usual, something was definitely changing but neither of you knew what.
“You look different.” Megan says as you and Alex walk into the hotel.
“Different good or different bad?” You ask Megan.
“I can’t tell, but different.” Megan says as she raises an eyebrow. Trying to examine your face you looked at her weirdly.
“You’re being weird. If you couldn’t tell I’m happy, or at least in peace.”
“Ah yeah that would do it, that’s different.” Megan says nodding her head and walking away.
You looked at Alex, who was already looking at you.
“You look good.” You tell Alex as you both walk to the elevators.
“Me? In sweats? Please. You look good yourself.” Alex says and you smile.
“In sweats? Please.” You say back making Alex laugh.
“You guys left us!” Naomi shouts.
“Oh yeah we definitely did and weren’t supposed to.” You whisper to Alex. “Sorry! Come on you two.”
“When we go back to San Diego can you make more of that pasta you made?” Naomi asks.
“Of course.” Alex says.
“Umm..”
“We were taking to Y/N.” Taylor says making you laugh.
“It wasn’t bad.” Alex says.
“It wasn’t good either Al.” You say earning a scoff from Alex. “What? Come on I told you not to give it to them.”
“So is that a yes?” Naomi asks.
“I’ll make more don’t worry.”
“You know, you three are absolutely rude.” Alex says walking into the elevator. “My food is delicious.”
“You gotta love us though.” You say as you grab Naomi and Taylor. All three of you smiling.
“I suppose.”
The following day having a day off to get rest and get rid of the absolute terrible case of jet lag. You spent it with Alex as usual.
“Oh sunny day, sunny day.” Alex says as you both walk out the hotel.
“It’s cloudy.”
“Not when you’re around.” Alex says making you smile.
“You’re so corny.”
“Oh but you love me.”
“I suppose.” You say rolling your eyes sarcastically.
You headed to nearby stores, shopping and looking at what you wish you could buy but definitely couldn’t.
As the day went by the sky was slowly being filled with grey clouds. It was smart of you to bring a jacket with you. Walking to the last store before going back to the hotel, you bumped into some of the other girls.
“Wow you guys finally appear.” Megan says.
“We grabbed pretzels, they were pretty good.” You say with a nod.
“We bought Gucci.” Megan says, Rose looks at Megan weirdly as she speaks up.
“No we didn’t.” Rose says. “We bought stuff for Wilma and also found a cool shirt at a local store.”
“You better show me what you bought when we get back to the hotel.”
“Only if you show me what Alex bought you.” Rose says.
“Alex didn’t buy me anything.” You say. Rose looks at you then looks at Alex.
“I bought her stuff yes.” Alex says nodding.
“I knew it.” Rose says. “Ugh next time I’m going with you guys, Megan didn’t buy me anything.”
“I bought you candy.”
“Yeah for twenty five cents on those candy machines.” Rose says making you laugh.
“We’re heading back now, we’ll see you guys later.” You say, leaving Rose and Megan to argue with each other.
“Twenty five cents. She’s so cheap.” Alex says.
“You bought me lemonade for thirteen cents once Al.”
“It was from a lemonade stand.”
“Alex it was your niece’s lemonade stand”
“She didn’t accept card.” Alex says and you shove her.
Ten minutes into your walk back to the hotel it began to rain. Alex grabbed your hand as she pulled you aside, standing below a small space where you couldn’t get soaked in the rain.
“I love the rain.” You smiled as you watched it rain.
“So do I.” Alex says as she pulled you close to her.
Standing below what kept you both dry, Alex ran her fingers through your hair. Your head against her chest and you could hear her heartbeat.
You both always loved the rain.
Alex looked at you as you looked at the street where it was pouring. And maybe it was the way your hair had gotten a bit soaked or the way your eyes lit up as it began to rain. But she hoped you couldn’t see what she was seeing.
You looked at Alex and smiled, Alex smiled back and it was as if someone had flipped a switch, but the way you felt in Alex’s arms made you feel something you hadn’t felt in so long.
The way you felt in Alex’s embrace, made Alex heart melt, it made her feel things she never thought of when she saw you.
As Alex looked at you all your worries left, you knew it right then and there, a new and old feeling you hadn’t felt for someone in so long seemed to appear again.
While Alex looked at you, her heart began to beat in a different way, her eyes began to shine in a way she’d never thought would happen.
It was like you both knew, looking at each other for a few more long seconds you both smiled at one another.
Alex grabbed your stuff and placed it on the dry ground. You looked at her confused.
“What are you doing?” You ask and before she answers she pulls you into the rain.
“Doing something I think we should’ve done a while ago.” Alex says as she cups your face with her hands.
Alex smiles, and you’re still a bit confused but you kind of knew maybe what she was going at.
“And what’s that exactly?” You ask.
“This.”
Alex rubs her thumb on your cheek before she leans in to kiss you. Connecting her lips against yours, you reciprocated, closing your eyes as you placed your hands on her hips.
Happiness. Peace. Happy. Peace.
It almost felt like a movie, a fairytale even.
Kissing in the rain on the sidewalk.
You both pulled away, eyes still closed as your foreheads rested against one another. Alex smiled as she leaned in for another kiss. Neither of you wanting to open your eyes just yet. But when you both finally did, there it was. Sparks.
You hummed as Alex bumped her nose against yours.
“That was also long overdue.” Alex says.
“I agree.” You say.
It was as if someone had attached a string to both your hearts. The string being pulled and having your hearts connect.
Across the street from where you were Rose, Megan and Emily were passing by, noticing what had happened, watching it all unfold. Cheering and clapping.
Both you and Alex turned to look who was cheering, as soon as you had seen who it was you were quick to try and hide.
“Thank god.” Megan says as she walks up to you and Alex.
“Finally. I’m actually so happy for you guys, like otp for sure.” Rose says with a smile.
“Is this why you were so happy? How long has this been going on for?” Meg asks.
“I was happy for other reasons.” You say.
“Be real.”
“We’ve been figuring it out.” Alex says. “I think we just did.”
“We did.” You say with a smile.
“That’s honestly like kind of cute? But you didn’t hear me say that.” Emily says.
What none of you knew was that Christen watched it all unfold as well.
You all walked back to the hotel together, talking about really anything but what had just happened. Your hand intertwined with Alex’s. It all felt so nice.
As you walked into the hotel, your clothes sort of dry from the walk. You headed towards the elevator and up to the fifth floor. As you all walked out the elevator you headed to yours and Becky’s room.
“This was your plan all along.” Christen says as she looks at Alex as she passed through.
“Excuse me?” Alex asks as she turns around.
“Wait what?” You ask, you stumble back startled at the accusation Christen was saying. But also absolutely confused on what she meant.
“I didn’t like you from the moment I knew you were friends with Y/N.”
“And why’s that?” Alex says as she steps closer to Christen. “Enlighten us and tell us why that is.”
"Alex don't." You whisper as you put your hand on Alex's chest, trying to push her back.
“Does that really matter?”
“No but enlighten us. Do you think this..” Alex says motioning to you and her. “Happened because I planned it? No. I didn’t plan it. It just happened!”
“You’ve been after her since the moment you met her. I saw it in your eyes.”
“My eyes? Wow. Christen go look in the fucking mirror and look at yourself. You were in love with her, but you’re so stupid you never admitted it to her and definitely not yourself."
"Alex please, come on this isn't worth it." You say as you look at Alex. "Please."
"That's not true!" Christen shouts.
"I haven't said anything all this time but I know way more about you than you think I do. Word spreads Christen." Alex says. "I didn't plan this, we didn't plan this. You think Y/N planned to fall in love with me? No, it just happened over time."
"It was your plan all along and I know it." Christen shouts as she gets even closer.
"Yeah? Prove it then? You just keep using her, you always have, she's your safety. It's the only stability you've had in your life, but it's time for her to move on from your toxic self.”
Although Christen had apologized, you didn’t recognize who was in front of you. That wasn’t the Christen you knew. But you also didn’t know who she was anymore after spending so many years apart.
So many things flashed through your head, conversations and memories. But specifically one conversation, a conversation she didn’t know about.
"You didn't hear this from me but despite what Christen has told you, I wanted you to know because you deserve something. She didn't want you to know this, but she likes a girl, if that's anything to you."
“You liked a girl.” You say softly.
“What?” Christen asks, snapping her head to look at you.
“In middle school, you liked a girl, a friend of ours.” You say, trying to keep your composure.
“What? Where did you hear that? Who told you that?”
“A friend of ours told me, they told me that you didn’t want me to know but you liked a girl. That I deserved some truth, you liked a girl and you didn’t want me to know.”
“Y/N-.”
“I was always telling you my truth, always. But I swore I’d never say anything to you about it.”
“It’s not that I didn’t want you to know.” Christen says.
“But you didn’t want me to know, our friend told me because she said I deserved to know some truth. I needed some closure, because you weren't giving me that. They found me and told me, a secret that I swore I'd never tell anyone and I never did."
"I just didn't want to hurt you."
"Because I liked you? I knew that, even then why couldn't you trust me that I'd be happy for you for being with someone you love." You say as you stand in front of Alex.
"Coward." Alex says.
“Alex.” You say as you turn to give her a glare. “Christen. You never trusted me. Ever. I don’t know why and maybe I’ll never know. What I do know is that as much as I want closure from you, from us and our friendship. I don’t think I want it anymore. Your apology gave me the closest thing I’ll get from closure from you. I want to move on and I have and I will.”
“With Alex?” Christen says with a scoff.
“You never even liked Alex, she has never done anything to you. But you despise her and I don’t even understand why. Alex has nothing to do with you and I not being friends anymore.”
“She has everything to do with it! She took you away from me.” Christen shouts.
“That’s not true.” You shout. “I always wondered why you were so angry when you saw me with Alex but now I don’t even want to know because that won’t change anything. You never trusted me. At least she’s trusted me this entire time.”
“I trusted you.”
“No Christen you didn’t. You never did and I tried so hard to think you did but you never did.”
“Y/N.”
“I hated that you weren’t at my college graduation. I also hated that I wasn’t at yours. Just seeing pictures of you with your cap and gown from your family’s posts. It gutted me. Because all I ever wanted was to support you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know you are, but I’m tired Chris. I’m tired.”
You sighed as you looked at Christen. Alex squeezed your arm softly, turning around you saw her nodding and then looking at Christen.
“Do you remember the notes you gave me in eigth grade?”
“Yes.”
“Do you remember I’d give you notes as well.”
“How could I forget. It was the only way you’d talk to me the first year of our friendship. You were so shy. It was how you communicated with me. I kept them all in a binder. It’s still under my bed.” Christen says.
“You gave me two. Your second one said there were four. I never got them and I still wonder what they said. But I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’ll never know and maybe you never wanted me to know. But I loved you for so long, I can’t live like this anymore. I care about you, I always will but I’m done. I’m happy now, I have peace. Alex had nothing to do with us not being friends anymore.”
You grabbed Alex’s hand and walked to your room, leaving a shocked Christen in the middle of the hallway.
“Are you okay?” You ask Alex as soon as you close the door to your room.
“I’m fine, are you okay?”
“I’m- I’m good.” You say as you breathe out. “I’m sorry she reacted that way.”
“That’s not your fault and you shouldn’t be apologizing for her. She’s responsible for her own actions. It’s not your fault Y/N.” Alex says as she places her hand on your cheek. You leaned into her touch and smiled.
“Thank you.” You turned your head just enough to kiss the inside of her hand. Alex smiled back at you, looking at you with such adoration.
You felt happy, felt at peace. Felt loved.
- - - -
“Close your eyes.” Alex says as she gets out of the car, running to the other side as she opens the door for you.
“You’re not going to kill me right? I didn’t mean it when I said to throw away your terrible terrible food. It was delicious.” You say and you hear Alex laugh.
“Can you just trust me?”
“I trust you I just don’t know what’s going to happen.” You say as you get out of the car.
“Open your eyes.” Alex says and you open your eyes.
Eyes widening as you see all around you, hundreds of floating lanterns being lit up by many people.
“I know the Fourth of July was something that meant a lot to you and that it probably won’t ever mean the same, so I wanted to bring you here. Have a little something of our own. Our Fourth of July but like two months later. Our own day to remember.”
“I love it.”
“Really?” Alex asks and you smile.
“Yes really. It’s lovely.”
“Well.” Alex says as she grabs the floating lantern. Turning it around to so you could see what she had written on it. “Will you be my girlfriend?”
You grinned as you leaped into her.
“Yes.” You say as you wrap your arms around her.
“Oh thank god I was starting to get worried.” Alex says making you laugh.
The sun went down and you released your lantern.
A new beginning with someone you love so much.
You both sat on the ground, looking at the sky as you watched all the floating lanterns. You had never felt so much happiness and love.
As much as you loved Christen, it just never seemed to go back to the way it was.
At every family event, Alex was now officially part of the family. You laughed and shared stories. You no longer felt empty but rather felt peace and joy.
You were kissing Alex every chance you could get, you were a brand new person. The kisses shared at family events as everyone told stories. Fourth of July was no longer so painful.
You healed.
Alex showed you what being loved was and felt like, and how to be treated as a friend but also as a partner. She wasn’t bothered by your constant need of assurance because she knew you always needed to be told every once in a while. She didn’t mind, in fact she loved telling you that she loved you.
“I love you.” Alex says as she wraps her arms around you.
“I love you. It’s you and me.”
“That’s my whole world.”
Three years later you would both come back, except that time Alex would get on one knee asking you to marry her. You obviously said yes because how could you not marry your best friend and lover.
Facing reality was no longer scary, it was exciting.
With the right person you knew facing reality would be an adventure. Alex was your reality and you were hers. You just didn’t know it. But she was reality. And she didn’t know but you were her reality. You were ready to be with Alex forever and face reality together.
This was reality and you were finally happy facing reality.
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tnnagegrrl · 1 month ago
Text
Tuesday 15th October
Old diary entry - TW lots of talk of ed+sh
Hello. I failed. I ate lots today (wieiad 14). I want to cry maybe. I feel like shit. I don't even have the energy to cvt myself anymore. I'll spend some time at lunch tomorrow trying to fix myself. I won't talk much and I won't eat until I have to. No tea either. Just water. Until I deserve something better.
"Never reward yourself with food, you're not a dog," I'm not a dog.
My friends. I will get them help. They need to be better. Not me. I don't deserve better. I'll be okay for now. If I go to the hospital it would probably be my mum who stays with me. I'd ki|| myself. I'll ki|| myself.
I'm tainted. I'm dirtied. I'm overwhelmed by the gross weight of the fat on my bones, hanging over them, sullying my frame. I need to see bone, whether by b|ade or by ⭐ving. Preferably both.
I should draw better. Or write better. Then I can thoroughly express my thoughts and actions.
If I get admitted, for anything, I won't talk. I know I won't. A vow of silence. I'll write or I'll sign or I'll type. Or I'll sit, and stare. I can't be admitted until I'm real. Until I'm not pretending. Until I can't switch it off.
She says our friend isn't ana because she can stop anytime she wants to, switch it off, ask for help. So by that same logic, I can't and don't have ana either. She's so adamant that I do when by her own rules, I don't. I've tried saying this, telling the truth. "I can stop whenever I want to. I have everything under control," but nobody ever believes me.
Why won't anyone believe me.
I need to slit my thighs open. Right now. As soon as I can. I'm itching for the blade, the grooves, the bumps, the blood.
I can't do this. It's in my spine. And my shoulder. My collarbone.
My ribs are closing in on me. Condensing.
I love the feeling of bones against the cold of my fingers. It's reassuring, proof that whatever I'm doing is working. I can feel the curve of my skin over my ribs. It tucks around them, makes a groove, a valley. I can count each individual one.
My hip bones stick out enough that I can sit my cold hands on them, over them. I can touch my pinky and my thumb around half of my arm. Not as much as I'd like. The fat still flaps around most of it. Obstructs my bones.
"If you can pinch it, you can lose it," I suppose.
Why do I do this? I don't know when or whu anymore. All I remember is that I have to. It's been too long to turn back now. I don't remember the first time I counted cals, or the first time I cvt myself. All I remember is that I did, and now I have to. I have to. Otherwise I don't have anything. If I lose my illness I lose myself, you have to understand.
I miss my mum a lot. Not her, but the idea of her. I mostly just get angry now, not upset like I used to. I don't know why I hate her, or why she hates me in return. It's pointless trying to remember. She seems nicer these days. For some reason. She shouts less. Maybe it was my fault all along. Maybe she shouted because I made her. I'm just that terrible of a child. It makes sense. God, I seem horrid. How does anyone still put up with me?
Goodnight.
(I wrote this sleep deprived and bleeding out at 1am so this probably doesn't make any sense at all lmaoo.)
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bambistan · 1 year ago
Text
Remember me?
psa: pls ignore the fact that they are literally standing in the middle of a battlefield throughout this and forget what would happen in reality if you stopped moving in the middle of a war. (which is death btw lmaoo)
Background: James was kidnapped by the Dark Lord and tortured so many times he forgot who he was and became a deatheater.
~-~
Storm clouds drited across the sky above them as they fought. Spells were cast and deflected, screams of pain and horror and terror were so loud that they could be heard above the nearing thunder.
James was angry, though he couldn't remember why. He knew something bad happened to him, he wasn't sure who was at fault but it didn't matter anymore. Nothing did.
He was unlike himself, a mere shell of person. An idea that was pulled from the Dark Lords wicked mind and transferred into his own. He only remembers the pain, the suffering. Images of loved ones flash through his mind, their faces scratched out and their voices distorted.
He has all but one purpose; to kill.
He shouted out countless Unforgivables like it was the only words he knew. He didn't care who they were, if they had friends or family. He used to have that too, he knows that, but he's too far gone to worry about them.
The only image stuck in his brain that he's sure of, is this beautiful strange boy. He looks so familiar, yet James can't figure it out.
He cast the killing curse toward an unsuspecting redhead. Unluckily, she dodged it, and James scoffed before moving to throw another.
"Watch your left!" Someone on his side warned. He got a glimpse of pale skin and black hair before he had to turn to his left and defend himself. An unknown feeling rose up in him, it was warm and tingly, but almost painfully so.
He continued fighting anyways, whatever it was didn't matter to him. He was a different person now. He couldn't risk dying to figure out what some stupid feeling meant.
He raised his wand to counter-attack the person who tried to curse him. It's almot laughable to him that these "good" people have cast just as many Unforgivables as him, and he's the bad guy? It's pathetic.
Just as the curse leaves his wand, he hears someone call his name. The voice is familiar, and his head snaps to the direction of it.
There, in all the chaos, stands that same strange boy. His expression is full of shock, his eyes wide and his mouth parted as his bottom lip quivers.
James does not move. He watches the boy watch him as curses narrowly dodge the both of them. The screams seem distant and muffled when the boy takes a step toward him.
His first instinct is to raise his wand, but his movement stops half way when he sees the other boy drop his.
It's started to rain now. Enough to drench everyone but not enough to wipe the blood from his hands. He doesn't know why, but he feels guilty, like a child being scolded by their mother.
"James," he says again. Questions flood his mind as he wonders who this person standing in front of him is. He is as familiar as James' own refletion, but just as unrecognisable as it.
He takes another step, James sees his legs shaking and growing weak. The need to pick him up and tell him he'll never have to walk again arises in James' chest, but he pushes the feeling away.
Although he is still steps away from James, he lifts his hand like he's cupping his face from a distance. Then he speaks.
"Oh, my love," his face turns pained, "What have they done to you," he whispers, and the question isn't a question. Because he can see what James has become, he can see the monster hiding beneath his skin and impersonating him. And that thought annoys James so much that he curses someone. They might've been on his side, or the other, but it doesn't matter, as long it keeps his emotions at bay, it's worth it.
When his eyes meet the other boys again, he looks hurt, as if James had cursed him instead of who he actually did. He has to forciby stop himself from hurting the boy out of spite.
"Who are you?" James spits out, anger rising in his chest for no reason.
He doesn't speak, he only continues staring with that some hurt face. It hurts James to see him this way, and he immediately softens his expression.
"Jamie," He takes a few steps closer and James flinches back. He's scared of his past, he hates who he is now but he knows he can't change. If this person was a friend or family, James doesn't think he could handle the pain. He's so tired of feeling the pain.
"Jamie," He whispers again, and the words flow from his mouth straight into James' ears, and for once, James is safe. He closes his eyes and lets himself feel.
He feels warm, from the tips of his toes to the ends of his hair, and he feels . . . He feels someone touch him, they gently caress his cheek. The feeling spreads like wildfire in the forest that is his body. He sees colours dance in the darkness of his eyelids and when he opens them everything stills. And he looks at the boy in front of him, they boy whose water-coloured eyes ignite him with his stare.
And he remembers.
He remembers this boy - Regulus. He remembers the late night talks in the astronomy tower. He remembers drunkenly dancing with him in the Slytherin common room.
He remembers how miserable their first date in Hogsmeade was, because James had dragged the poor boy to Zonkos, but all was forgiven when he took him to the bookstore just down the street.
He remembers laughing while rolling around in his bed with him and he-
"Regulus?" he whispers in disbelief. Holding the hand that holds his face so gently.
"Remember me, love?" Regulus laughs sadly, but in James' opinion, the sound could top angels singing.
"Yeah," James laughs to as tears brim in his eyes. "Yeah," he repeats falling forward into the arms of his was, is and always will be lover.
And he forgets the pain, the anger and the hate. Because none of it matters anymore. He has Regulus, and for now, that's all he needs.
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m1ckeyb3rry · 5 months ago
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I laughed so hard you did Lorenzo so dirty (facts though LMAO) hideous dog LMAOOOO I get it for sure though like ugly cute (heavy on the ugly) I really only enjoy seeing him when he interacts with Barou I truly cannot appreciate that man’s features
So real someone come save chigiri and the fact that those three say that all in the same match is WILD like can the crowd hear them talking at all when they’re broadcasted?? I’d hope not LMAO
Barcha being a two man team will never fail to make me laugh but they clearly did not get a lot of plot armor AHDGJS
Speaking of legs that reminds me of epinagi Nagi’s thighs after Zantetsu first hits him in the face like??? I need me a Barou though I want those scary dog privileges
Miratoya for life guys >>> I remember some people hoping they’d have the same va too (or Aiku and Nanami lol) but the va they chose def gives me the same vibe as Toji like…
Ok that’s why im torn LOL like the Shidou lines are so iconic but on the other hand if some of my friends try to connect the dots I gotta be ready to defend myself like I swear it’s not that deep it’s just soccer pls ignore whatever comes out of this character’s mouth
LMAOO hypebro shidou always ready to cheer you on I have no idea how Loki manages them though HAHAHA
NAH FR!! I think the generally decide characters for LN based off popularity….approximately anyways because I’m pretty certain Karasu is generally more popular than Yuki on the JP side (mainly due to shipping but I digress) but according to that sort of trend I’m praying….I definitely would not be opposed to a Nanase one either though!! Tbh I think he’s so cute and I love him too it’s just we barely see him so I don’t have much to go off of (besides him being real estate to Rin) I’d like to know how Shidou spawned into the world though LOLL
MARRIAGE FR HAHAHA like give me your hand in marriage please I’ll give you kombucha!!!! Man lied straight to our faces like the way he managed to find a Yankee’s (I think that’s the term they use) house too??? Like the odds that he didn’t stumble upon some average household too but fr like the man definitely has his own savings account and stocks portfolio like there’s no way (STOPP NO NOT THE FINANCE BRO that lowk slipped my mind but that reminds me of that tiktok audio that’s like “im looking for a man in finance” LMAOO)
Bro that panel is in like my top 10 Karasu panels LMAOAOA when he’s surveying the field and Isagi’s like lol you’re leaving yourself open dumbass and then Karasu whips out his arms shshshshs he’s so gorgeous <3(yeah he kinda looks like a penguin here now that you mention it but it’s ok pretty on brand if you ask me) always appreciate a good Karasu panel though so thank you for your service hehe
Also wait I forgot to bring this up but when I first saw the like official character design references (?? Like the visuals they release on the official website that have them looking like they’re getting their mugshots taken) I was thrown so far back by the jersey colors LMAOAOA I think it looks a lot more muted in the color pages of the manga and also (like the one in your header) shidou and rin take up so much space that you can’t see the details but Karasu and Otoya look like candy canes LMFAOOO and also Yuki/Nagi’s?? I usually like blue but something about it looks so off to me HAHAHA (also their faces but wtv ig)
-Karasu anon
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this dog is how i see lorenzo LMAOAAO…but i should refrain from insulting him too much because if he ends up the way otoya did i’m going to scream!! i agree though i feel like he’s really fun w barou and honestly helps him loosen up a bit (even though barou and aiku will always be my fav random ubers friendship)
i feel like the crowd probably can’t hear them just because they’re not shouting or anything and they don’t have mics!! realistically it’s like how irl we don’t hear the players shit talking each other in soccer games but that doesn’t mean it happens yk?? regardless though there was…quite a lot being said during the u20 match LMAOAOA i need karasu and shidou to start saying unhinged stuff again!! like let’s spice up pxg vs bm a bit w some random nonsense from those too 😭 although ig rin has got it covered this time
HELP i had to go back and look and omg??? nagi’s whole build is crazy to me because even before soccer he was so jacked but he literally did nothing all day?? i need that kinda metabolism fr
MIRATOYA CANON 😜 except he’s abt to get a taste of his own medicine when i cheat on him w his best friend 😦 LMAOAO i agree though aiku’s current va has very toji vibes!! he delivered exactly what i expected from aiku
shidou is just shidou the more you think abt it the worse it gets 😩 omg loki is fr a saint like i know he’s being selfish and doesn’t care abt the team as long as charles develops but honestly i have to commend him for keeping his sanity while coaching that crazy blend of characters like i can’t even blame him 😭
nanase was just the only character i could think of that hadn’t gotten a ln besides tabieita and shidou that was also in bllk since it seems like they’ve only done bllk players so far?? but maybe now that aiku is in bllk and he was mentioned in barou’s ln we’ll get one on him. agreed though i’d rather see one for shidou!! was he born like this or did he experience smth that changed his life into whatever it is now?? apparently he didn’t play club soccer pre-bllk so how did he even get scouted??? he’s such a mystery LMAO
FRR he managed to find some bigass mansion and everything 😭 honestly i can’t even blame him if some random kid i barely knew tried to follow me home i would also take the opportunity to mess w him because what 😟 HAHA he truly is a man in finance unfortunately…he was even telling hiori he plays like city planning and stock management simulator video games?? karasu please…let me teach you about mario kart and super smash bros…please…
I LOVE THAT PANEL my fav is def the one in epinagi where he’s introduced and he calls kiyora and nagi dunces hold on let me find it
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he just looks so smug and karasu-like in this??? LMAO idk he’s so handsome i love this panel sm
THOSE CHARACTER DESIGNS ARE SO SILLY HAHAHA did you see sae’s neon cleats?? 😰 i think they always look a little odd w the white background though…hopefully it’s a bit more muted in the anime!! it seems like they’re going for a darker color pallet this season (based on the trailer) so i am keeping my fingers crossed 🤞🏻
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huexuri · 10 months ago
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★ ‎‎‎‎‎‎‧‧ 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.
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NSFW, MDNI!!!
⚠︎ sensitive topics: mentions of suicide/suicidal thoughts, a scene mentioning eating disorders and self harm, another mention of self harm (scars) in another scene but it's used in a fluff scene ⚠︎
➜ pairing: fem!reader x switch!kai
➜ synopsis: you're in a very dark place. in your hopes of finding a best friend that loves the same things you do; just to give yourself one last chance to be happy, you come across hueningkai — who ends up being the beam of light in your dull, melancholy hell of a life.. and he might've just saved you from ending it all.
➜ genre: angst, smut, fluff, college au, love at first sight
➜ warnings: first of all — reader is GOING THROUGH IT holy shit... and is pretty ill mentally, reader has ed, has sh scars and stuff like that, fem!reader, switch!kai, the sensitive topics stated above, angst is mostly in the beginning and scattered throughout the story, first time sex, blowjob, cum eating, quite a lot of fluff, quite a lot of swearing (literally the first 2 words of the fic LMAOO), friends to lovers trope, fluff ending, implied that reader wears baggy clothes, reader is basically a character and not "you" anymore in this sense.
➜ wc: 8.5k WHAT THE FUCK
➜ note: this is nawt proofread!!!! my first ever serious fic...... really hope i don't fuck this up or forget about it or!!!!! ya. + I WENT INSANE WRITING THIS like bitch was so hard 2 write 4 WHAT
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“fucking bitch seriously blocked me on everything...”
you stare at your phone screen in disbelief.
“fuck you mean by i can't contact this number??!” you shouted in fury — your voice echoed into nothingness as you collapse onto the comfort of your mattress.
as your phone slips from your grasp, it drops to the ground. you let it fall, indifferent. you bury your head into a pillow and let it soak your salty tears.
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but.. how did you end up like this?… all because of your now ex best friend — yewon. she found a man. at first, you were beyond delighted for her. she'd always complained to you about being lonely, and you swore to her that she had you, no matter what… but she didn't. she broke your promise — and the girl that once had an irreplaceable bond with you had turned into someone else when you voiced to her about your suicidal thoughts. it didn't help that she seemed like she loved her few week relationship with that guy more than the eight year friendship she had with you. you'd always been there for her through thick and thin, yet when you opened up about your struggles, it didn't occur to you that she'd scold you for being sensitive... or for being an attention seeker? or that she'd rather talk to a fucking trash can than listen to you blabber all day about some "emo shit"?
she would never say this to you. you know she wouldn't.
when you texted her about that, she was out with that stupid fucking guy. she didn't have time for you. but to you, it wasn't just emo shit — you really needed her. this time, you really. needed. her.
you still tried to reach out to apologize; but she chose to block your contact on everything, throwing away the almost decade old bond you have with her — leaving you on the brink of despair.
you were really so fucking close to ending it all.. no, you were going to do it. you wrote a letter and all.
yet, somehow, amidst the darkness, you found a glimmer of hope, a reason to hold on. despite the unbearable thoughts, you gave yourself a chance to seek happiness, and for that, you're grateful.
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚
it's been a week since; each day since her betrayal feels like a relentless onslaught. you would say you've been miserable, but words like 'misery' pale in comparison to the heartache she's given you.
everyday you resist the urge to rip and tear the polaroid photos of the both of you off of your walls.
what went wrong? she was your everything. she meant the world to you.
that was your last straw, and you were really starting to consider what you wanted to do a week prior.
but just then, you felt your phone vibrate in your hands, with that familiar ping sound that reminded you of when she'd always talk to you. it made you shiver in unease — everything reminded you of her.
ding! 2 unread notifications!
“another one?”
you frustratedly turn on your phone to find 2 unread messages from an unknown number. he went by the display name of kai… you thought it was painfully familiar and off-putting, but you decide to dig deeper.
‎‎‎‎‎‎‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧‎‎‎‎‎‎ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧ ‧
Kai : hey, i'm sorry if this is a bother</3
Kai : but are you yewon's friend?
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you probably left him on read for 5 minutes straight, because you gazed speechless at your phone screen, at that notorious name — yewon — for 5 minutes straight.
“who the fuck is this dude? this is so fucking creepy.” you muttered to yourself before your thumbs started glazing over the screen in hesitancy.
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Kai : hey, i'm sorry if this is a bother</3
Kai : but are you yewon's friend?
you : who r u??? and what do YOU know about her??
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maybe you came off as rude, but how can you not, when some random ass uncanny guy is asking you about your personal problems?
ding! 1 unread notification!
another one, and as you read the text, your gaze softens.
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Kai : i'm fr sorry i struck a nerve,, but i'm yewon's ex, well because i js broke up w her:/
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ex? you wondered. "didn't she love him so much she left me?" you scoffed, pettiness lacing every word.
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you : i thought y'all were doing good? n also why are you texting me about this
Kai : basically i got a bit nosy when she left her laptop open when she was showering and then i came across her texts w another guy which were obviously romantic
Kai : then i decided to look further and found she blocked some1 which i assume it's u bc i got that number from there, and i felt really bad that she was so brutal to you esp when u seemed like u needed her most? it said u texted her smtg like "girl i really need to talk, im in a horrible place rn please talk to me im literally at my breaking point" and then she fired off on you.... like damn..
you : oh… okay,, yeah. and also i'm sorry she treated you like shit as well
Kai : i should be sorry as well, since it looks like i got in the way of your friendship, like i feel really fking guilty
you : it's fine, i know you didnt have bad intentions
Kai : i js wanna say since we both got hurt by the same woman, we both need someone that understands eachother and im just suggesting if we can be friends? if you're still grieving i wont bother you abt it,,
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you came to the realization that despite being cheated on, he remained respectful and considerate of your feelings, a realization that gently tugged at the corners of your lips, being the first smile of yours since the incident. in that moment, clarity washed over you, and you knew without a doubt that the both of you needed each other.
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you : okay.. sure:) my name is y/n.
Kai : i'm hueningkai, kai or hyuka or huening for short.
you : okay, hyuka it is
Kai : why? lolol
you : it's cuter than kai or hueningg :ppp
Kai : well, whatever you wanna call me then loll
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you looked back up at the polaroid photos of you and yewon on the wall. you're dedicated to rip them off. it isn't just you — she's the problem, and over the 8 years of knowing her, only now you start to realize that she is an asshole. she has always been, and you were too gullible to realize.
you were never a believer of the concept that "everything happens for a reason", but from then on, you had a gut feeling that this “hyuka” guy came into your life for a reason. maybe he is that glimmer of hope, that reason to hold on.
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚
as it turns out, now that you're texting kai on a daily basis, you've discovered that you both share a deep passion for astronomy. dreaming of the day you can finally explore space or simply just gazing at the stars at night, you both find yourselves bonding over this pretty form of study.
even better? you both end up attending the same college. school life never really comes up in your conversations, so it comes as a delightful surprise when you accidentally bump into a tall, really, really pretty boy whom you immediately recognize from the greek god looking face and voice you've been texting and calling every day — hueningkai.
“aah, sorry!" you mutter, hastily retrieving your bag from the floor.
"naaahh! don't worry about it—"
you recognize that energetic honey voice all too well.
"hyuka?" you look up to him as you slowly retreat to your feet, hoping you didn't mistake him for someone else.
"y/n?" he exclaims with a smile, his eyes scanning your features with fascination and disbelief.
“it's really you!!” you gasp as your hand hovers over your mouth. quickly adjusting your bag onto your shoulder, you take a step back to fully look at him in real life for the very first time, and not just through video calls.
“woaaaaah, holy shit… you're so pretty in real life.” kai mutters in fascination, almost like a whisper. he's scanning you up and down as his smile softens into an amused one.
“says you??? you're fucking ethereal…” your gaze fixates to every feature on his face — you're looking at him as if he's like an angel.
“t-thank you,” he mumbles, flustered.
“mhm...” you smile and nod, slightly giggling at that.
“you know… since we have a bit of time before lectures start, wanna grab a bite with me?” kai suggests, his voice tinged with uncertainty.
“of course.” you immediately reassure him.
kai's lips widened into a delighted smile. you hold onto his wrist as the both of you stroll out the hallway.
it's been a long time since you experienced this kind of joy — because hyuka is such a ray of sunshine, being around him makes anyone's heart flutter.
as you and kai make your way to the campus cafe, the air is filled with a comfortable silence, disrupted by the occasional shared smiles and sneaky glances to eachother. stepping foot into the cafe, the both of you gasp in awe — the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and egg tarts being the second thing on your mind after.. hueningkai.
the both of you find a cozy c shaped sofa at the corner of the cafe. you both settle in, the chatter of other students fading into the background as background noise as you and him talk about nonsense. the both of you chit chat over egg tarts and steaming cups of coffee. you find yourselves safe and sound within each other's company. sometimes, he rubs against you — which makes you feel a bit hot in your cheeks. maybe it wasn't intentional, but oh god, did you feel like you needed him.
finishing up the tarts, the both of you return to campus satisfied and without a word, before exchanging waves as you both walk to your designated lecture rooms.
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚
during lectures, all you can think of is kai. his presence has a way of making you feel safe and it almost hurt to not be around him. you could've stayed at home crying over yewon, but when you meet someone that encountered the same problem as you, it's as if time stands still when you're with them, and all your worries fade away. kai is your someone. he eases the churning in your stomach with his energetic personality, and when he's all timid and flustered you can't help but giggle. his laugh is contagious. he's like a happy virus, or a beam of light that follows you like a shadow. and ever since the day he contacted you, you stopped relapsing — your thoughts have calmed down and it's like he saved you. no, he certainly did.
not to mention, that dazed intensity in his eyes, the pretty curve of his hooked nose, his fluffy, cloud like brown hair that seems to invite you to run your fingers through them, his sun-kissed skin that speaks of lazy days spent under the golden rays, and those perfect, pillow lips that are basically begging you to absolutely ruin them. shit, you're really falling in love.
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚
you wake up the next day to a series of messages from kai.
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hyuka💓 : girl, just because it's our day off doesn't mean you get to wake up at 2pm……
hyuka💓 : IT'S BEEN AN HOUR SINCE I SENT THAT I DIDN'T MEAN IT BY ACTUALLY WAKE UP AT 2PM OMGGG
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you sigh at your phone screen, so bright in your bare eyes. he knows you have an atrocious sleeping schedule.
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you : it's not my fault this week is the only week since centuries ago that we have a holiday, no shit ill sleep in😭
you : what did you need tho??
‎‎‎‎‎hyuka💓 : i needs you at my place rnnnnnnnn im so bored and honestly i just wanna talk to you, yk? you know since you never really got 2 cry to someone about ykkk
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you realized what he meant — it was evident he was trying to be considerate, not bringing up memories of… her. yet, despite his efforts, a wave of unease washed over you, screaming at you that you hadn't completely moved on. as you stared at the crumpled polaroid photos that once adorned your wall now barely stuffed in your dustbin, you really did need to let it out. you knew can't just ignore it and push it under the rug, no, not with the voices ringing in your head, telling you everyday to fucking kill yourself, you can't. you weren't over it yet — instead, you just forgot about it when you were with kai.
gazing over the text again, he really does care about you. you start to feel a bit better at that.
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you : thank you hyuka <3 i'll come over asap ok??? js need to find the address u gave me previously lol
hyuka💓 : of course!! i also need some entertainment and company, so i really do wanna hear you talkkkk
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turning off your phone, you lazily head to the bathroom to clean up. you spent a rushed 5 minutes trying to find a decent casual outfit while smothering vaseline all over your lips. you didn't want to appear at his doorway looking like a slug, especially because you just woke up.
grabbing your keys and necessities, remembering that he has an obsession with plushies, you grab your favourite one and rush out the apartment.
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚
you walk to his apartment as it wasn't far from yours. the thought of just chit-chatting to him in his room clouds your mind. your heartbeat races as you hope you don't look too unpresentable. despite your nervousness — you clutch the small plushie hanging on your bag handle, and it provides a sense of comfort, reminding you of him in a better light. you navigate the familiar streets, the cool morning air brushing against your skin.
arriving at his doorstep, you take a deep breath before pressing the doorbell. your heart pounds in your chest as you wait.. you have no idea why you're so nervous, maybe it's just because when he's on your mind, you feel a bit giddy inside.
when the door finally opens, you're immediately greeted by his warm smile, instantly easing your tension.
"hey girllll," he says, his tired eyes still glistening with excitement. "c’mon in!"
you follow him inside, the plushie held tightly in your grip. his apartment is moderately tidy for a college student — maybe a few pieces of clothing lying around, but you can't deny that your room is 5 times worse than that. you settle into the cozy atmosphere of his apartment, the tension slowly melts away. as you walk up the stairs to his room, he offers you a hand, probably for stability. you really hope he doesn't realize your cheeks are becoming beet red as you take his hand in yours and walk up the stairs together.
finally — you reach his room, and the both of you sigh as you settle in. first thing you notice? — his bed. you're greeted with the familiar collection of plushies at the corner of his bed that always show up in frame whenever he's on call with you. you gaze at his collection in awe as your lips slightly part in amusement, because it seemed as if he treated his plushies better than anything else in the house — they're stacked on top of each other with care, penguins that are arranged from big penguins to small ones, and the cherry on top? they're colour coded.
you plonk on his bed as if it was yours — but you make sure to not disturb his plushies, and he giggles.
“you really that tired?” he looks at you, palms on his waist.
“yeah,” you sigh. “but i can't decline talking to you, can i?” you say with a sarcastic smile.
kai giggles cockily. “toooo baddd~ you're stuck with me now.”
you grin at his silliness as you put down your bag and unhook your plushie to show it to him.
“look at what i got~” you coo.
his eyes brighten and his hand goes flying to cover his mouth and he gasps in amusement. he walks over to your direction and you scoot over to give him some space before he sits onto the spot on the bed beside you.
“oh. my. goshhh!!” he almost snatches it from you as he turns it in different angles to look at it under different lightings.
at that moment, you look at him like he's a toddler. he's sure acting like one, but you find it cute how he's so facinated about things like this, and at last, you feel a bit warm inside — a feeling of safety and comfort that locks within you when you're around him like this.
“give it backkkk!” you whine as he turns away from you, fixating on that poor penguin.
“mini peng peng will sit here beside the big peng pengs until you go home!” kai ignores you as he sits it beside his penguin plushie collection on his bed.
you sigh in defeat and he smiles at you.
“damn, you're lucky you're cute as hell.” you mumble.
“okay, okay. did you forget why you were here?” kai settles down.
for a moment — you look at him with confusion.
“you know… i mean, if you want to. i really don't mind if the mood darkens, i just want to console you. you didn't have anyone, right?” his tone deepens in pity.
“oh…” you answer, the bad memories flooding your brain once again.
“no, no, if you want to of course— i don't want to force you, please don't be sad—” he frantically tries to calm you down and immediately regrets asking.
“no, kai, it's okay. i feel that it's better if i don't bottle it up.” you say, avoiding his gaze.
kai nods at you with expectancy, he waits for you to talk.
“but..” you look up at him.
“but??” he responds, almost within light seconds.
“are you sure you want to sit here and be burdened?” you say, your head low as you look away again.
“y/n…”
“what, kai?”
he leans in to softly hug you, he doesn't fully hug you until he gets a signal of consent from you. when you timidly retrieve the hug, he squeezes you and pulls you in, chest to chest with you. he slightly shivers at the feeling of your chest so heavy against his. his chin is on the crown of your head as you quiver slightly beneath him.
“don't say that. you're not a burden..”
you don't respond, instead, your eyes slightly water.
“why do you think i wanted to talk to you?” he asks, with a warm, almost parental-like comforting tone.
you shake your head in response, shoving your face further into the soft wool of his sweater.
“ever since i saw the messages on yewon's screen, i didn't feel bad for anyone but you.” kai sighs.
you manage to mutter. “but, you got cheated on, aren't you sad?”
“no. honestly? i loved her very much. but it was so painfully obvious she used me for my money, so i was planning to break up with her anyway. when i found out she cheated on me, i just thought it was a win-win situation. she seemed happy to leave me anyway. i was only with her for two weeks, you know? and in that time, i never felt the same bond with her, or anyone else, that i feel with you after just a week and a half.” kai reassured you. every word he claimed, it calmed you more and more in your bones. honestly, you were so close to asking “what are we?” but you couldn't word anything but burst into tears under him.
your sobbing muffled in his sweater. you hope you didn't get any spit on his sweater.
“shh, shhh. it's gonna be okay.” he spoke to you, his chin rubbing the top of your head as he pats you on the back, almost like a father figure. there was no other word but “safe” you could use to describe how you felt as that happened.
that, followed by 5 minutes of comfortable silence in your hyuka's arms as you slowly calm down.
“wanna tell me what's up?” he broke the silence, his voice laced with care as he stroked your head with one hand, other still on your back.
“mmm..” you push away from him, finally looking up to his face for the first time since he hugged you.
your eyes are red, lips glossy and slightly parted, nose and cheeks swollen as you manage a pathetic smile. kai looks down at you dumbfounded, he giggles at the sight of you like this.
“damn girl, you look…. awful?” he remarks jokingly. he restrains another laugh as he wipes your tears.
“i do not need to know, hyuka..” you respond, smiling back at him as you wipe his hand away in efforts of wiping the rest of your tears.
the both of you end up lying on the bed, facing each other.
you've never been this close to him before — especially lying on his bed beside him as you go on and on to an understanding hueningkai who nods at every word you say.
“i got diagnosed with an eating disorder.” you softly say, and kai nods.
“i got hospitalized, i made starving myself a priority. hell, i still have tendencies of counting calories. i promised i'd stop. i knew it was bad..” you sigh.
kai winces slightly at your hospital comment.
“had nobody to stop me, -nd i couldn't stop myself,, and then.. and then,” your voice trembled with uncertaincy.
“—the scissors on my table was looking at me, screaming at me to use them on myself, and i—”
“what?” kai cut you off.
“um..”
“please don't tell me you…” kai gestured with a circular motion with his hands, indicating what he wanted to say.
“i'm sorry,,” you sigh, disappointed.
“...oh.” he looked away from you.
“fuck, don't tell me you hate me now? i'm so sorry, I won't do it again, i promise i really—”
“y/n..”
“yeah?” you said, ending with a sigh.
kai takes in a huge breath — “i don't hate you. i'm not disappointed either. i don't encourage you to do it, but i—i’m sorry, it just took me off guard. i'm not saying i want you to—but—it’s your choice, so i'm not disappointed in you, but i'm sure you're aware it's bad for you. just please tell me you won't continue. and mean it. even if you can't right now, i'll be with you until it comes true.” kai sighs, rolling onto his back as his chest rises up and down after holding in a breath he didn't know he held.
“k-kai, i'm.. i promise i won't. maybe i'll break the promise, but…” you pause.
kai looks back at you.
“i'll try my best, for you okay?”
kai shakes his head.
“no, not for me,” he closes his eyes, “for you. for the sake of YOUR well-being. it's not for the sake of making me proud, even though i very well will be proud of you for being clean, but i care most about your health. i want you to stop, for you.”
“i—i..” your voice staggers, somehow restraining what you want to say.
you've always told him “i love you”, many many times. often, it comes off as platonic, but why do you feel tingly — why does your heart flutter as you try to cough out those three words? i, love, and you. it's just three words. why don't you just—
“i love you,” you sigh, breathy in his ear. “h-hyuka.”
“i love you too, y/n.” he responds. it clearly came off as platonic for him, so you don't say anything else to ruin it.
“y-yeah.. thanks. for a lot,” you sniffle again. “thanks for listening to me.”
“it's nothing. it really isn't. i'd much much muuuch rather listen to you talk about your problems than talk to a trash can.” he jokingly references the texts of your ex best-friend, and because it's been quite a while, the both of you giggle at that with no hard feelings.
“um, y/n?” he says, out of the blue.
“yeah?”
“do you mind if i see the scars?”
your heart stops for a second.
“uh, um..”
“i don't want to force you. please don't show it if you don't want to.” he retreats.
“no, i trust you.” you reassure him.
trust is a heavy word. it's certainly weighty — how can you apply this word on a guy you only met for barely two weeks? but he certainly has done nothing but make you feel safe. he's not love bombing you either — as everything between you guys have been kept platonic for every day you've known each other. so, you know that you trust him.
he nods and sighs, prepared for the sight that is awaiting him.
as you sit up, he follows suit, his gaze following your every action. but you hesitate to roll up your pants.
"you really don't have to.." he breathes out, his tone heavy with empathy.
your head dips slightly; awfully disappointed in yourself.
"no, i'm sorry. maybe not now... maybe a bit later when it's less obscene looking.."
"okay, of course." he reassures you gently. he pats your back, each stroke tinged with understanding.
the tension between you both in the room grows hot despite the depressing topic. the way he made you feel so secure kind of had your core honestly ache for him... you know hyuka noticed by the way you constantly crossed your arms to cover your pants, but despite his face growing noticably hot — he didn't mention it.
the rest of the day spent at his, you both did talk about less depressing things — and more about your shared hobbies with him, much about plushies and music and astronomy just to clear the air for a bit.
as he sends you home, the sun sets a beautiful pink and you feel so much better, so much weight off of your shoulders. you can't stop thinking about him. your thoughts about him have became... slightly lewd. maybe it's just the times where he doesn't think you notice him sneakily glancing at your chest once in a while. you think it's cute.
but... he manages to make you feel comfortable and he knows how to keep it in his pants. which, you can't stop thinking about.
you really can't stop thinking about him.
⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚
a few days passed by, and as classes had ended — you had a week of free time to complete your assignments. you wanted to go back to your apartment to complete them.
as you make your way towards the train station, a familiar voice echoes in the distance. who else can it be, but your best friend, hueningkai, calling out to you? you turn your head to see him running towards you, a bright smile on his face.
"y/nnn!" kai's voice rings out, filled with excitement as he closes the distance between you.
you stop in your tracks as you take out one side of your earphones. a smile sneaks up on your face as you look at him, waiting for him and his long legs to catch up. when he finally reaches you, he's slightly out of breath but still, beaming.
"hyuka!! what're you here for?" you ask, unplugging your earphones and stuffing them into your pocket.
“haah… haa… i made a last minute choice to go back home, and since you're here now, i'd prefer riding the train with you.” he says, panting.
“honestly, since you're here already, you can stay at my place for a night if you want.” you suggest, since he'd let you over that day.
“mmm… i’ve got no clothes to change..”
“silly, just borrow mine. my clothes are awfully baggy, and you know it.” you giggle.
“you're so right, i'm coming! hehehe~” kai drags you by your arm like an excited toddler despite being almost a foot taller than you. he drags you to the next stop after buying tickets, and the both of you board on the train together.
as the train rattled along the tracks, you and kai sat at the seats nearest to the end of the train.
"how's everything going with your classes?" kai asked, leaning back against his seat.
you shrugged, a tireless look across your face. "been like shit honestly, ’ve been having loads and loads of assignments, but at least they're due not that soon, so i'll probably be okay.” you sigh as you scramble in your pocket for your earphones.
"damn," he replied, sighing. "i've been swamped with practice lately."
you nodded in understanding, knowing how much he practices for piano. “too bad, but you already can play the piano so well, so it's weird seeing you practice every second of the day when you're not studying."
kai whines at your comment. “i have 495 pieces i haven't mastered yet, you don't get ittt..”
you scoff in reply as you plug in your earphones into your phone.
you wipe the left side of the bud and hand it to him. “wanna share? i have aaaaaamazing music taste.” you smile.
“i don't believe you, but sure..” he takes your earphone bud and puts it in his ear. you follow suit with the right one.
“this is actually kinda good?” kai looks at you in amusement.
“are you saying you didn't expect me to have good music taste? you bastard!” you nudge him playfully, and he giggles hysterically.
a few minutes pass in silence as kai slowly dozes off onto your shoulder. his fluffy hair is against the crook of your neck. you sneakily take his hand in yours, and in surprise, he'd intertwined his fingers with yours and even gripped it tightly. you felt your cheeks grow hot, but you stayed there like that. the train shakes consistently as it moves, but when you have kai holding your hand, you feel more secure than ever.
the rest of the train ride passed in a blur, the hours slipping away as the both of you rested against each other. before you knew it, the train was pulling into your stop, and you gave kai a light tap to wake him up, gathered your belongings, unplugged your earphones, ready to head back to your apartment with him.
you reach your apartment door and unlock it, letting him in first. he trails behind you as you lead him to your room.
“you can just hang around in my room first, i'm gonna go to the toilet. i'll be right back!” you said as you walked out of your room. kai hummed in understanding and put his things at the corner of your room.
leaving him alone, kai's gaze wandered curiously, fixating on familiar objects with an uneasy feeling in his gut. he'd slowly settled onto your bed to check his phone until something else caught his eye — a piece of paper that looked like it was stuffed at the corner of your bed frame with much effort. kai knew he shouldn't butt in your business, but he couldn't help but reach for the ominous looking paper, torn and worn with dust and rips.
kai reached out, fingers trembling as they brushed against the surface of the letter. with a hesitant breath, he uncrumpled the paper, more of a letter as he continued to unravel the folds. his eyes quivered the more he read — each word a dagger to his heart as he realized what it was — that suicide letter you had written 2 weeks prior after that incident; a damned diary page torn out of it's book with your heaviest feelings written onto the sheet as poorly written words.
he doesn't remember you telling him about this before. he never had a doubt that you were faking that energy whenever you were with him. he could've never guessed you rip your eyes out everyday in the campus bathrooms because your intrusive thoughts keep telling you to jump. and he would've never thought you were ill if you didn't tell him.
“how can such sunshine like you be consumed by such darkness?” was the thought that rang in his mind the further his eyes made its way down the paper.
the words no longer made sense to him. they blurred before his eyes, tears stinging like alcohol as he struggled to read the next sentence.
“the fuck are you doing?” you stood at your doorway, beads of tears welling up at your eyes once you realized what he was reading.
kai's heart clenched with anguish as he looked up at you with eyes glossy with tears.
the both of you exchanged uncomfortable stares at each other as he held the paper in his hands tighter than ever before, his knuckles turning a whiteish hue.
“why d-didn't you say anything?” kai's lips quivered as he stared deadly into your eyes; eyelids failing to hold his tears from falling.
“put it down… please..” you softly begged as you reached for the paper, fat beads of tears rolling down your swollen cheeks.
but kai puts it behind him, and he stands up.
“p-please, please don't hate me, please i'm so awfully sorry, i re—”
“don't.” kai sighed.
and then, in the silence that followed — kai enveloped you in his embrace. as you returned the hug, the both of you shivered as tears uncontrollably fell from the both of your eyes. there were no words spoken between you guys — just timely sniffs and “i'm sorry” being whispered over and over again.
“y/n,” kai's lips quivered as he let go of you and wiped his eyes.
“yeah?” you reply, timidly.
kai cupped your face as he swooped your tears away. "you know? if you left this early, you wouldn't be able to see the stars like you always wanted to — instead, you'd be the star that i'd gaze at every night with tears in my eyes.”
you felt tears well up at your eyes again.
“i love you, y/n.”
“i love you …. too?”
“no, like… actually. i really fucking love you.” kai confessed lowly.
silence fills the air as he expectantly waits for a word. but, all that clouds your mind is... finally. he finally confessed.
“i'm sorry—” kai stumbled as he took his hand off of your face.
“no. can i?” you said as your eyes darted at his plump, swollen lips.
“can you.. what?” he asked.
placing a hand on his face, the air grows intimate between you guys. his eyes glisten at you, hoping you'd do what he thinks you would. before your lips meet with his, time seems to stop for a split second—
and then it happens. the soft collision of your tender lips against his, and the both of your eyes flutter close. the tension in the air begins to rise as your soft moan travels down his throat as a vibration and he can't help but grab your waist closer to his.
“mmm, fuck.. cherry lipbalm?” he mumbles into the kiss, and you nod. my god, his dirty talking is already so hot to you.
you let go of the kiss to catch a breath. there's a string of spit connecting the both of your lips as you let go.
clearly, the mood had become so much more lustful. you run your fingers through his fluffy hair for the first time. the both of your tears had dried in no time — now, the only thing the both of you need? each other.
you nudge his inner thighs with your knee, and as soon as you felt his erection hiding beneath his pants, you knew he wanted you as much as you did.
“oh my god,” you moaned. “that’s really hot.”
“do you wanna? perhaps it'll make you feel better, maybe relieve some tension..” kai asked.
“protection?” you suggested.
“mm,” kai went to reach out in his bag, and like a magician, a condom appeared in his hands.
“how do you have—”
“i bought a couple extra when i got some for my friend. now, it's just been there for a while.” he immediately explains.
“did you ever think you were gonna use them on someone?” you walk him to the bed, crumpling the letter and tossing it to the other side of your room.
“no,” kai grins. “but it came in handy huh?”
when kai is in this mood, it's as though he's a completely different person from the kai you've known since the day you met him. my god — his tone has never sounded this lustful, his voice going down an octave as he speaks.
“i'm going to make you feel so good,, make you forget about everything that happened. treat you like a princess. i’ll do all the work, okay? i feel like you definitely need it.” kai gently picked you up and onto the bed with your back against the mattress.
“mmm.. i trust you..” you nodded as your body shook with that pet name. he delicately tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.
“are you sure you want this, y/n?” he stops in the middle of unbuckling his belt — making sure you fully consent to this. you nod desperately and he grins in response as the belt slides effortlessly off his waist.
he unbuttons his pants and immediately his hard-on looks like it's going to explode any time out of his boxers.
“wanna help me take it off?” he coos, as he kneels closer to you.
“yeah, hyuka.” you tug at his waistband playfully and pull it down. he's way bigger than you expected — his cock stiffly springs out of his boxers and hits his stomach with momentum. his veins travel from below the tip all the way to his stomach, and as he pumps his cock back — his fiery red tip is revealed, and as you admire it, you touch it and it's burning hot to the touch.
“holy shit.. how's that going to fit?” you scoff out in amusement as kai giggles at your unserious comment, a tinge of his usual bubbly self present in that giggle.
unwrapping the condom, he offers it to you to help him put it on.
instead, you sit up on your elbows so that his cock is in front of your lips — placing the condom on your lips, you hold his hips in place and bob your head forwards to roll it on with your lips.
he gasps as his breath catches in his throat — his eyes rolling back as he looks back at you. “my fucking god, y/n,” he sighs in pleasure. “that looked so hot, you know?”
you look up at him as your lips leave his cock with a pop sound, smile stretching across your face, proud at the praise he'd given you.
you lie back on your back as he adjusts the condom around the base of his shaft.
you unbuckle your pants hesitantly.
“but.. you won't be scared by the scars?” you quietly said, almost missed by him if he wasn't paying attention to you.
“i’ll never be scared or be mad at you. as long as you don't relapse, i'll be proud of those scars that proved you won a war. now, don't be scared, just lie there and i'll fuck you so good you won't have to worry anymore.” he reassures you as he patiently waits for you to undress.
“o-okay,,” you smile at him, shivering on the inside at the last few words, your desperation for him growing more and more. he delicately helps you bring your pants to your toes.
taking them off, he runs a finger across your jagged thighs.
“they're so pretty, you know? you, your thighs, those prettily healed scars, everything is perfect. i'm so proud of you.” he smiles in satisfaction as he watches you spread your thighs open for him. he places a kiss in your inner thigh, and taps his tip against your clothed folds.
“for the last time; are you sure, princess?”
“yes, yes hyuka! i want you!” your voice desperate in reply, he slips your panties aside, letting the cold air hit your sensitive clit.
kai teases your folds as he rubs his tip against them, going back and forth as the wet sounds combine with your desperate whines echo throughout the room — sounding like music to his ears.
“so fucking wet already… such a pretty clit for me~” he softly coos as he runs a thumb across your squelching clit, and your hips slightly tug at that.
“mmmh, j-just want you in me already—aah fuck—”
he thrusts a finger up your naturally lubed pussy and stares at simply how glossy his finger looks.
“shit, you're really desperate, huh?” he grins as he puts that finger in his mouth, sucking it clean.
“taste so sweet, pretty.” he coos at you before nudging his tip around the rim of your entrance.
“shit, i'm gonna thrust now, ’kay?”
“mmm!!” you whine in response as you nod your head.
“f-fuck, haa…” he whines as you take him inch by inch.
“so fucking tight, ngh—” he moans when he feels his tip touch the back of your gummy walls. he's only a bit more than halfway in.
“a-ah, my g-god,,” you whine lewdly as your breath staggers.
“so.. so pretty like this.. i promise i'll do everything to make you happy again.” kai whispers as he holds your hand.
he starts to slowly pick up his pace as he pumps his shaft swiftly in and out of you as wet, sloppy slapping sounds echo with a rhythm. he's dedicated to making your hips meet with each thrust.
“fuckkk, feels so good, mmmfhh!!” you let go of his hand and bite on your knuckles as you restrict your noises, hoping your neighbors won't hear you.
“who cares if anyone hears us,” kai takes your fist off of your mouth, and locks his fingers with yours again. “fucking want you, wanna hear your pretty—ngh—voice tell me how good i make you feel~”
“s-shit, so good, so good..” you manage to mumble as scrabbled words leave your tongue.
“make you feel so good? feels good, huh?” kai uses his freehand to cup your face and stroke your cheek lovingly.
“mmmh!!” you whine out, his thrusts getting sloppy as he throws his head back.
“aah… my god, your walls are clenching on me, fucking drives me crazy,,” his trembling voice manages to go down a few keys, almost like growling.
“does it? show me how it makes you feel..” you reply, clenching on him harder as he winces.
he lets go of his hand in yours, and forces your palm onto his clothed chest — and yet, you can still distinctly feel how fast his heart is beating, and how he's shivering as he continues to thrust.
he interlocks his fingers with yours on his chest, securing it at the feeling of his pumping heart.
“this is how you make me feel, making me go insane, you know that? do that again and i might just bust already,” he moans out, his hips stuttering.
oh my god, he's hot. really fucking hot.
“do it, then. you have protection on.” you suggest, and immediately you feel his thrusting come to a stop as his eyes roll back and the rubber expands inside you.
“fuck, you really did?” you smirk up at him.
his heavy breathing is jagged as his lips tremble. holding the condom at the base of his shaft, with one final thrust he milks himself of his hot cum, he finally comes out of you — a slightly wet pop following as he leaves you inch by inch.
“that was,” you cut yourself off as you catch a breath. “so good..?” you sigh.
“i know right.” he replies as he takes off the condom delicately — some of his cum still around his entire cock. a string of his slick connecting his glossy tip to the base of the condom.
“damn, that's nasty..” you laugh, and he holds the condom with caution in reply to your words.
“you're right,” he sighs. “i'll clean this and throw it away.” the condom is sticky and sagging with his cum. he ties it up and disposes it in a plastic bag he'd always prepared.
“you're hard ….. again?” you notice, as you look down to his cock now glowing blushy red again, and standing up on its own.
“fuck, guess you gotta help me now..” kai looks at you with a cocky smirk, and you roll your eyes.
but how can you say no to that? because now, you're sat face in front of his hard-on again, this time ready to clean it up with your lips.
“this is my first time, so just tell me if it hurts.” you prepare him, and he nods.
you close your eyes and take him in. despite being the first time, hearing kai gasp as you lower your head on him, making your way down from his tip makes your confidence skyrocket. you hollow your cheeks and wrap your tongue around his cock — striking every nerve that sends blood rushing to his cock.
“sss-shit, aah—” he grits his teeth, and immediately you let go of his cock, in fear that you've hurt him by accidentally biting or scraping his shaft.
“did i hurt you, hyuka?” you ask, worriedly checking for any red spots on his shaft, but there wasn't anything.
“n-no, please don't stop, p-please, it felt so good,” kai whines out desperately as he starts to bottom out. he didn't sound close to anything dominant like the kai that was topping you a few minutes ago.
“mmm, okay.” you breathe out onto his tip, hot breath hitting his sensitive spot as he sighs.
as you bob your head down onto him again, swallowing him and enveloping his entire shaft down your throat, almost triggering your gag reflex. you coat his shaft with your saliva and your tongue hugs his tip carefully, flicking it up and down as you watch his hips jitter in response. he moans under you, staring at his cock disappear down your throat.
you slide up and down at a fixed pace and his voice staggers as you do.
“fuck, are you sure this is your f-first—mmh—” he doesn't manage to finish his sentence as he throws his head back at the feeling of his cockhead fitting perfectly at the base of your throat, and you had no idea how you had it in you to not choke on him.
“oh my god.. o-oh.. my fucking god,” kai cries out, his hips starting to stutter, hitting your upper pallette. “i’m gonna cum, fuck, fuck..”
he starts to thrust into your mouth by instinct, and you take him with all your last efforts, and then, you feel his cock twitch inside your mouth, followed by pumps of semen down your throat as you try swallowing every drop of it, despite feeling new and gooey and weird to you.
“haa…haah…” he moans, and you slowly lift your head off him.
“my god y/n. i can't believe this is your first time..” he breathily states.
“really?” you finally catch the breath that you felt like you'd been holding this whole time. when you look up at him for the first time since you sucked him off, his lips are all glossy, his eyes are swollen with tears and his cheeks hot with pleasure. you have never seen him more fucked out than this.
“my god, you're ruined!” you giggle as you lean forward to wipe his semi-dried tears.
“says you with your drool covered mouth..” he remarks, and you immediately wipe your lips.
“is that all you have to say after i just gave you the best blowjob ever?” you tease.
“noooo!!! it was so good, it literally sent me to the stars.” he giggled.
“one day, i'm bringing you to see the stars, for real.” you replied, and you could see his eyes glisten as it spread wide open in interest.
“no! i'm the one bringing you there! you deserve it more!” kai defended like a 5 year old kid, and you couldn't help but chuckle.
“as long as i'm with you, you don't have to worry about how i feel. you saved me, you know?” you sighed.
“what? so what does that letter mean?” he asked sternly.
“the reason why it was trashed in the corner of my bed is because it was written before i met you, dumbass. you made me change my mind.”
“o-oh,” he softly spoke. “really?”
“of course, hyuka. i'm never this happy around anyone. anyone, but you, obviously.”
kai placed a peck on your lips. “i fucking love you so damn much, i hope you know.”
“i know. i realized i loved you the day we ate at that cafe together. in class, all i could think about was you.”
“mmm, and i realized i loved you the day i bumped into you that day and saw you for the first time.” kai smiled.
“okay, okay. let's go get cleaned up, enough of this cheesiness.” you sat up, and he mirrors you, giggling like his usual self as he pulls his waistband up and trails behind you to the bathroom.
⋆.˚ ☁︎ .𖥔˚ ☾
"hey! easy there, don't pull too hard!" kai yelped as you raced towards the shore at nearly light speed, dragging him along by the wrists.
"we've gotta seize every chance to see this! we didn't travel all this way for nothing!" you shouted into the chilly midnight air, your voice echoing against the starry sky.
the night is silent and remote. as the both of you reach the seashore, you both halt to a stop at the shoreline — panting as the both of your heads look up to finally see real stars in the night sky, clusters of stellar bodies that glisten under the prettiest rays of light. the moon is also shining brighter than you've ever seen it.
“i think i'm going to cry,” you jokingly say as you sit down onto the sand. you bring him down with you, grip on his wrist still awfully tight.
“is this what heaven on earth feels like?” kai adds, and you laugh even more.
kai scoots over to sit closer to you as the both of you lean against each other, gazing at the stars like you're both hypnotized.
"i can't believe we're finally stargazing together for the first time," kai said softly.
"yeah," you replied, still lost in the starry spectacle, the world around you fading into a distant hum.
there's a comforting silence that follows, disturbed by the whooshing wind, or leaves waving and fluttering against each other and birds tweeting from afar.
“but..” kai broke the silence.
“hm?” you hummed as you took your eyes off of the sky to look at him.
“if you've always wanted to go watch the stars, why didn't you decide to go yourself? why would you wait for me?” kai asked, his voice breathy and cold.
your head laid onto the comfort of the crook of his neck. “because, despite all these stars, you still shine the brightest. i wouldn't enjoy this as much as i am now if i wasn’t sitting here with you. you're my one and only starlight.”
“your starlight?” he hesitantly said, his voice barely over a whisper..
a genuine smile stretches across your face, finally finding solace with the person who has been the light in your life since the day you met him, the hyuka who saved you.
“yes, my starlight.”
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elevatormusic · 1 year ago
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my first reactions with zero context: only friends ep 8
immediately no
correct it is not right go tell them
girl. i hate this friend group saying they’re each others friends bc they’re all so shitty to each other
also?? why are you so worried about mew but never ray?? like babe he’s your friend too tf??
i beg of all of them to not be friends at the end of this show
wrong
true she’s the best
nooo baby
i know the fuck you’re not coming to talk to him
tell him no
also i do not like the shirt ray is wearing and it’s distracting me
you’re dating mew now dog?? you shouldn’t need an excuse anymore?? hello
run sand run away please
facts
you’re too good of a person i stg
i don’t understand what ray expected here lmao
no.
YES KING SET YOUR BOUNDARIES
you’re fucking joking bruh
man fuck you
he really won’t but also i want him to leave you alone so yes tell him that shit
dog you have no right. all you’ve done is treat him like shit
huh? why make drama for them? they aren’t even a big part of this show??
okay but tbh it’s not like ray is making this man do that shit? mew asked him for it
he’s really not in your way just move him lol
sir you do drugs idk how you can say that with a straight face
are you tho
fair tho
also fair
lmaoo i forgot he was actually in school still 😭
why’s he sitting like that tho💀 it looks so uncomfortable
ray’s kinda dumb huh
he very much made it clear to you already
tell his ass
say no sand i stg
straight up he saved your ass why should he do community service with you
ask your boyfriend???????
*shouting approval* *my dog jumped i’m sorry to her*
don’t let him manipulate you
“hanging out with ray so much” as if he wasn’t best friends with him this entire time? he literally hung out with him the most out of the friend group
well he’s not lol
cute
old people? you’re like 3 years older shut up
lick????? is this wrong translation? is this a real saying in thailand?
oh is he about to fuck up that relationship too?
me too bestie
yes.
again not saying ray isn’t toxic normally but like he’s not the one asking mew to do all this
don’t want a band anymore. bc he’s cutting you off lmao
what do you mean? why did he invite ton? and top? is he about to take his revenge there?
oh my that sound was awful
oh he went right for actual drugs
king he did not pick you. he’s using you
“someone i should love” but you don’t actually love him
hated that
told you
so he didn’t invite him? then who invited ton?
this is lowkey extremely overboard behavior just because his boyfriend cheated on him my god
he never once messed with your freedom please stop embarrassing yourself
oh god stop what the fuck
hold on what’s it got to do with sand if nick went? did he drag him there?
a queer icon okay sand i see you
mans said hurry up so i can leave
oh my god the mustache is so bad
LETS GO MY BI REPRESENTATION
what the fuck ray let the man kiss a fellow bisexual
why should he? he. doesn’t. want. to. be. your. friend.
this poor guy
annoyed sand is back baby. the world is healing
dude!!!! what the fuck
i didn’t think it was possible for ray to get more toxic but here we are
yes get mad at him
hit him sand
interesting that he’s finally admitting he has feelings for him at this point in time
HELL YEAH HELL FUCKING YEAH
did he really just ask that? in 2023?
when the worst person you know makes a good point
there’s no way he put his head on his shoulder like that. i know something about to be hurting him after this scene
wait for real?
what are you mad for? you knew that shit from the start
the four of you literally don’t give a shit about each other
thank god. 2 friends down. 2 to go
HA
not top actually saving ray this time that’s kinda funny actually
good i’m glad sand left ray there
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foursdarkdays · 1 year ago
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About me?
Honestly idk why i suddenly thought about writing all this here but ig maybe??? i could find the root causes of my mental health? idk
Sooo umm It all started when i was 11, back in 2011 when my Mom's father kicked us out basically. I dont really have a father, i mean i do but hes not really there. My mother married him out of family pressure and that didnt end well. He had severe anger issues and was always jealous that my mom earned more than him. male ego ew. He wanted mom to leave her job and be a houswife with a lot of restrictions but thankfully my mom stood up for herself and they were living seperately. They never lived together tbh. my father was from another city and my mom didnt move there due to obvious reasons. so anyway yeah back to the story. So when we were basically homeless, we rented a house . glad my house had a good gov job so we could afford it. It was during summer holidays right after my 6th grade when everything started affecting me mentally. I would stay home alone all day, no tv , no phone , no colony friends it was very lonely. Weird thoughts kept coming in my mind it was a devils house lmaoo. Plus the family fights and stuff were taking a huge toll on me. I didnt share this with my school friends back then prolly because i was embarrassed or because i didn't find the need to? I did'nt know how to behave with people. i started getting aggressive about a lot of things and my friends left me for that. Later i realised and apologized for my behavior and got them back.
anyway so back when i was in my grandfathers house, we were a joint family0. my grandmother, granfather, mother and her brother and sister and i. There were fights almost everyday but later when my aunt and mama got married the fights got more intense. i used to run up to the terrace to avoid all the shouting. I think thats one of the reaons why i get so worked up when i hear people yelling. trauma?.
anywayyyy so everything started effecting my studies and my acadmeics went to hell. i love my mom but back then she'd say all these mean things to me like "Why were you even born" "you're so useless" honestly i dont remember now but yeah that also affected me a lot mentally that i started self harming. It was out of curiosity at first but then i got addicted. The physical pain made the mental pain feel less. I self harmed almost everyday. it was like a drug to me. When my friends found out about it because i used to cut my hand like the whole hand, i started cutting my leg, It hurt a lot, sometimes i couldnt even walk. i just wish id bleed to death or something. Family and bad academics made everything worse. and as a cherry on top, something happened in school. Everyone thought i was a liar and it was like everywhere i went, people spoke bad about me that i dreaded going to school. Anyway this self harming continued till 2016 November ig? (i started in 2013) i self harmed in the hostel as well lol until.. until my ex best friend cum my roommate tried to end her life. It was scary. She left school but i kept thinking about it. Somehow that made me stop trying to kill myself for a while and completely stop self harming. I used to have a lot of anxiety attacks without knowing they were anxiety attacks.
anyway this even worsened during my bachelors. My depression and anxiety got very severe. Not just mentally but also physically. The chest pains, the body pains, the nausea and fatigue, the constant tiredness and fear. I completely failed academics which in return increased my anxiety. I felt so hopeless and useless beacuse i was good at nothing. It took me 5 years to graduate a 4-year bachelors degree with 34 backlogs and numerous failed suicide attempts. i wasnt even that brave to hang myself or jump off but but it was mostly over doing my anti-depressants. oh yeah i went tp therapy, that guy saw my self hard scars and told my mom. fuck. anyway mom was worried. also i'm glad she never told me anything about my academics she never made me feel like a failure im very glad. Shes always encouraging. I feel selfish that i tried to end myself when im the only one left for mom but i couldnt and cant help it. Im sorry mom you obviously deserve a better kid. A much better kid. So ummm yeah after graduating and leaving therapy because the meds werent working i started feeling a bit better? the anxiety and depression went down or maybe i just learned how to live with it. it was already 2022 which means 11 years of depression. i think anxiety came along in 2016? honestly idk but ik i started treating it as a part of me, i accepted it and it did help me. It doesnt effect my daily routine because ive learnt to live with it.
anyway so about my father, he kept visiting from time to time. at first it was every month, then it became once in 2 , 3 ,4 ,5 . Its not like he cared. He never helped us emotionally or financially, Even when my mom was hospitalised and had a surgery in 2013, he didnt come to see. He only visited when he wanted to. My mom went througha lot because society talks yk? she basically a single mom and its hard to live in this stupid country like that. People talk shit about you. Anyway it took me 16 years to realise that my "father" never really cared. I started despising him and even his presence (once in a year) gave me the icks. His family also always spoke bad about my mother including himself ig. I didnt know how to asnwer people when they asked about him. okay so anyway he came home last year (2022) and i had to kick him out because it was becoming suffocating for me and mom. mostly mom so i did it for her. I said some rude things to him so that he wont come again and trust me i feel shit but yeah he deserved. And he came home on my bday early this year (jan). I still remember the way my heart dropped seeing him.I hate birthdsys because of this. I had to kick him out again. Again people talk. No one sees his mistakes , how he never called or gave a fuck about us. they only see how we kicked him out. I hate him . and then later i got to know that he also tried to ummm hchoke my mom back in 2003? when we went to visit him. I was there. i have a vivid image in my head that i can never forget. Theres also some secret that my mom and grandfather are keeping from me. idk if ill ever know about it . He prolly has another family maybe? idk p maybe its something worse. anyway thanks to him i cant look at any other man without thinking of him now.
yeah so now back to me. I ruined my life. idk if it can repaired. I'm trying to do my masters. I have applied to some collges in australia and one of them rejected me. my cgpa is 6.2 and i have 34 backlogs with no work exp so its hard, All i want to do is die because i cannot take this anymore. I dont try to kill myself anymore but i wish i could.
All of my friends have jobs or are doing their masters. what am i doing? i know i ahouldnt compare myself but do you think its easy? Everyone out there is indepedant already and im nothing? Its very embarassing and hard. The time is ticking like a time bomb and im terrified.
i need to get away from this place. I need to heal and i just need anothee chance from life where i could repair myself and move forward. I will never be able to move on if im here. There's a lot of pain and trauma here. ISTG if it doesnt work out, i might really do something to myself, i will shut myslef comepletely and just wait till i die.
ill add more things if i remember, now i have cramps on my fingers bye
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bombardanne · 2 years ago
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Mobile Friendly!
Below is everything from the 'Read First' and 'Bio' section copy and pasted.
Blog created 5/29/2023, I was originally going to do Poppy Sweeting. Still considering.
I don’t know if hate anon or controversy anons have been a thing in the HP or HL rpc but I’m just gonna delete those if I get em. I’m here to write and have fun, not to support JKR’s stances.
Dark themes and spoilers won’t always be tagged unless it is stated in the rules of other blogs I follow.
A lot of headcanons will be at play, I’m well aware AI may somehow take my ideas but please give me a shout out or DM if you like my ideas and use it for somewhere else.
Unaware of Cursed Child and have yet to watch the other Fantastic Beasts movies but I have read the books, watched the HP movies and played Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire on the GBA. The only thing is I don’t remember every single thing, please correct me kindly when needed.
I don’t do exclusives or mains, I always believed those come naturally over time and regardless of ‘Likes’ for such title.
That’s it? Don’t make me add more bullet points here. Let’s all have fun!
About mun:
Harry Potter was my first major rp fandom when I was a god awful fan fiction writer but I appreciated the magic, world building and learning how to do dialogue tags. I pursued a Creative Writing minor in uni, and I just write for fun now!
I don’t really have a mun alias I go by. I guess you can just call me Anne-mun, Mun, or Lucy (my HL OC name lmaoo). 28, she/her California here we come, right back where we started from.
__
Name: Anne Sallow Gender: Female Pronouns: She/Her Birthday: 1874/1875
Species: Human Witch Blood Status: Pureblood Hogwarts House: Slytherin Wand: – Patronus: –
Anne is well known as the daughter of the late Professor Sallow(s), who passed away before she and her twin-brother Sebastian discovered they had magic. When she first attended Hogwarts, a lot of older students commented how they enjoyed her parents’ classes, and some of the professors comment of how she looks just like her mother! Like her brother and her father, she was sorted into Slytherin.
Three of the top people she trusts in her life are her brother, Sebastian, her classmate and dear friend Ominus Gaunt, and her uncle Solomon. She suspects because she looks less like her father, Solomon favours her more, even though she was known to be mischievous at school. When she couldn’t complete her Fourth Year due to the curse cast upon her, Solomon taught her a few skills he felt were most important from his time as an Auror, one of them being Apparition.
Before her curse, she used to be optimistic. She was very social with everyone in Slytherin and she was part of the Quidditch team. She dreamed of upgrading her broom to the highest caliber and then using it to travel the world, play against the other Quidditch teams and visiting their schools. Professional Quidditch Player or becoming an Auror like her uncle were her aspirations, with travelling in between of course. She admires and is jealous of Imelda Reyes’ at the same time but knows better than to dismiss a fellow Slytherin as an enemy. 
While she’s also a reader, cross-referencing between non-required books and getting into the Restriction Section wasn’t her thing. She was spoiled by summaries of books from Sebastian and everyone else. She spent a lot of time causing pranks and foiling them, searching for secret passageways and rooms, learning about the paintings and ghosts of Hogwarts. Her favourite past time is visiting Hogsmeade and admiring what the shopkeepers had to offer.
These days, nobody is there to offer her summaries for books. She has to read books word-for-word herself. She is constantly exhausted and hates herself for being unable to finish her Hogwarts education at the moment, for falling behind her brother, for failing to defend herself against the person who cursed her.
She is still in touch with everyone via letters and socializes with her neighbours in Feldcroft, but it isn’t the same when a lot of them look at her with pity. One neighbour made comments before of how she should marry a wealthy muggle, whose money can help restore her health. While Anne cried at the idea, in her worst moments, she wonders if that’s how she should make it in the world, feeling her curse is irreversible, her uncle too has passed, and her brother’s turned to the Dark Arts.
Headcanon–
Classes she excels in: Flying Class, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration
Former Aspiration: Professional Quidditch or Auror like her uncle (and late aunt)
Current Aspiration: If she recovers, she wants to complete her Hogwarts education and become a Mediwizard.
Foods: Pumpkin bread, apples, everything meat, potato and leek soup, blonde chocolate and caramel flavours. 
Favourite classmates: Her twin brother of course! Ominus Gaunt, Imelda Reyes, Garreth Weasley (okay she might have ulterior motives with him), Adelaide Oakes, William Dale, Natty Onai, Amit Thakkar
Classmates who annoy her: Imelda Reyes (LOL), Garreth Weasley, Sophronia Franklin, Duncan something, Poppy Sweeting, Amit Thakkar (RIP)
Favourite Muggle Stories in her Lifetime: The Woman in White, Around the World in Eighty Days, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Tess of the d'Ubervilles (her late aunt mentioned this book), Dracula (post-game)
Her favourite aunt was Solomon’s late wife, who was also an Auror. Aunt Aurora was a beautiful woman who desired children but learned of her infertility, so she filled the void by travelling the world before pursuing the Auror career with Solomon. Anne and her Aunt Aurora were really close, she was like the daughter Aurora could never have. But just a year after her parents passed away, and by her Second Year, Aunt Aurora was killed while on the job. Anne overheard her Uncle Solomon talking to a friend, something about resorting to the Dark Arts, speculation in which she shared with Sebastian.
From her First to Fourth Year, she used to wear her hair down and try an assortment of braids and hairstyles. Once she discontinued her Hogwarts education, she decided to keep her hair up in a bun.
Threads and AUs to Explore–
Post-Game: Anne only trusts Ominus with her new location after burying her uncle by herself. Her curse is lifted after the New Fifth Year kills Victor Rookwood and she is no longer in pain but she is conflicted to what happened, and if she would somehow justify Sebastian’s choices by returning to Hogwarts pain free.
Pre-Game: First to Fourth Year at Hogwarts.
In-Game: Anne writing to everyone.
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aviatrickss · 3 years ago
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Thots on The Batman (2022)
Overall thoughts: Best Film???? Also shout-out to Faye who probably has bruises from how much I was excited-smacking her leg during the movie 😔
The opening scene… when they make you think that it’s Bruce and Thomas and Martha about to go see Zorro…. But then it’s NOT, it’s just time for PARALLELISM
The fucking music during the murder…. That shit slapped so hard. Seeing Riddler stand behind him for so long…. The fucking SCREAM he lets out…. It’s so fucking good I’m glad he gets to be spooky
Emo-ass Bruce my beloved… angsty boy… in the shadows…. Spooky dooky man…. He said fuck a clown…
Jim 💜
The kid finding the body….. the kid talking to the police… the fact that they chose to dress the kid in a fucking red hoodie and to give him the classic Robin haircut!!!!!!!
The police bullying Bruce and Bruce being autistic af
They really pulled out the Alfred and Bruce “you’re not my father” angst in the first scene huh
Gordon being so sad about his partner dying and Bruce being like “…he was a cop :/“
Aww but also Bruce being like “duh he’s not gonna kill you jim you’re a good person 🙄”
They really said bisexual Italian Selina 😏
Penguin is great and they made the Iceberg super original which was fun
SELINAAAAAAAAA
Cufflinks 🥺
The car crashing into the funeraaaallll! BRUCE SAVING THE KID!!!!
Bruce walking Gill thru the fucking riddles lmaoo. Also him not fucking running from the bomb as it counts down to zero…. Peak Bruce behavior
Gordon is a real one and I care him so much
THE CAR CHASE!!!!!! The Batmobile waiting in the shadows and fucking roaring like a dinosaur in Jurassic Park… Selina stealing the duffel bag w that sick motorcycle move… them going down the WRONG SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY…. THE TRUCK CRASHING AND FORMING A PERFECT RAMP FOR THE BATMOBILE AHHHHHHHHHH
The Batman/Gordon interrogation duo… they’re platonic justice soulmates
And then they just leave Penguin there 😂
The orphanage was v spooky 10/10
GOD bruce rushing to try and get home to Alfred and calling him over and over and over and being so scared AHHHHHHHH
Bruce showing up to the Iceberg as sad emo boy…. Sir…
The fact that all of his suit sleeves hang too long so that he looks like that Ariana Grande Shy Girls post
Eddie the whole time he’s being arrested looking like :3
NO 👏 MAN’S 👏 LAND 👏
Riddler’s plan to flood the city and force the survivors into one place where his followers could mow them down was basically the initial plan that the Columbine shooters had and that plus his video journaling were super interesting from a criminological perspective.
Wow…. Riddler and Joker are friends… world peace….
“You’re already spoken for,” Selina says, looking towards Gotham half-wryly and half-ruefully, and utterly breaking my heart.
“Take care of yourself,” Bruce says, because no one ever taught him to say I love you and he knows that that’s not what this is, not really, but he’s letting himself have that closeness for just a second and utterly breaking my heart again.
I think them racing motorcycles through the graveyard was the hardest I cried during the entire movie
Bruce almost verbatim quoting Dick at the end of the movie w “people need hope too”
Him helping the lady on the stretcher and holding her hand until the helicopter takes off… you can see in his eyes how he doesn’t really know what he’s doing but he wants to help and he DOES…. Proud of him
Battinson’s got the perfect amount of vulnerability but also passive suicidiality… he doesn’t fight smart bc he doesn’t CARE. His suit and the Batmobile might be bulletproof, but he knows damn well that they won’t last, and it’s just a matter of when the break, not if.
The fact that his eyelashes stick out of the cowl really made me feel some kinda way
It was actually a mystery. It was a mystery and Bruce did detective work! Actual detective work! And Jim and Alfred helped!!! It was a mystery!!!!!
Pete was a huge douche and also obviously corrupt, but him getting called “comissioner” was the biggest fucking death flag I’ve seen in my life lmao
THOMAS AND MARTHA’S BEDROOM BEING CHAINED AND PADLOCKED SHUT YESSSSSSS
Just. The fact that Riddler is a crypto-bro who thinks that Bruce Wayne is the mask and blahblahblah, and Bruce REJECTING that and choosing to be hope rather than darkness…. What a fucking theme.
I love this emo bastard w my whole heart
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violettelueur · 4 years ago
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— FUSHIGURO MEGUMI || THANK YOU FOR STAYING
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↳ featuring : fushiguro megumi from jujutsu kaisen
↳ warnings : mention of blood, mention of injury, mention of death and grammar issues
↳ form : imagine
↳ published : 18 january
↳ pronouns : she/her
↳ word count : 1.6k
↳ request : AAAA YOUR FINALLY OPENN <3 um so for starters i was thinking abt the same scenario for the s/o, where the s/o was megumi’s gf. team tokyo was seeing your *dead* body lying on the ground, not knowing that your actually trying to use the reverse technique slowly. megumi felt he failed at protecting you, when you’re actually still alive but reviving. eventually he came to you, crying, and just kept saying “please dont leave me” “i cant afford to loose anything” “please”. IM SORRY IF ITS TOO SPECIFIC 😭😭 i really want some fluff+angst rn LMAOO. thankyou!! <33
↳ barista’s notes : hello hello hello ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ i had to remove a tiny bit of your request because it is a spoiler for non jujutsu kaisen manga readers ʕᴥ· ʔ and don’t worry if you think you’re being too specific, i will try my best to make the perfect cup of  coffee for you ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆ but other than that, i hope you enjoy you cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and you’re welcome back anytime!
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“Y/N, wake up please”
However, no matter how desperate he sounded nor how loud he was. You were non-responsive.
The grass below your body was struggling to soak up all the blood that had been spilt from your unknown wound caused by the special grade curse that you were fighting against.
No one knew how the curse was able to get into the premises of the battlefield of the Kyoto Sister-School Goodwill Event, let alone how it managed to get anywhere near Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College. However, right now, all Fushiguro knew was that you were in critical condition as you continued to stay silent to his pleas.
“This ain’t some joke Y/N, wake up!” Fushiguro shouted in agony as he lifted your body into his arms, searching for any source of warmth from you that he was desperate to hold. Yet, you were just stone cold.
Frantic, Fushiguro began to search around your body to see if he could find the injury that was the final blow that you took, but there was no visible presence of one leading to the shikigami sorcerer’s anxiety to heighten as he began to wonder what really happened to you. What could have the special curse did that causes you to fall into a coma? A coma right? You were just in a coma? You weren’t dead? You couldn’t be dead?
“Megumi, she’s….Y/N is..” Maki began to stutter, afraid of the junior’s reaction to what she would have to announce as she began to reach out to him, leading Fushiguro to turn to look at her with tears welled up in his eyes which led Maki to look at him with widened eyes.
Never once she ever saw the green-eyed sorcerer have a single tear in his eyes as well as the rest of the sorcerers behind her as they stared at the situation that was happening right in front of them. On the other hand, they weren’t really surprised at the fact that you were the one that brought those same tears into his precious eyes. 
You were the first person to ever make them see Fushiguro smile.
Itadori remembered it as clear as day. It was when he had first met you at Harajuku around the same time when he first met Kugisaki. To his surprise that day, you weren’t the new student that they were meeting but rather a current student at the school he newly attended, it was just that you weren’t the one chosen to collect Sukuna’s finger at Sendai that day due to you having a mission of your own.
                                              ꕥ
“So, you’re the infamous student that ate Sukuna’s finger?” you commented, as you walked towards the two students who were waiting in front of the station Gojo has told you to meet everyone at - but to no shock or surprise from you, the said teacher was not there to greet you.
“Oh? Are you the new student we are waiting for?” Itaodori kindly asked, as he took another bite out of his ice popsicle leading to your boyfriend, who was standing next to the salmon-haired boy, to have a say in the newly started conversation.
“No, this is L/N Y/N, she’s a first-year student like us, she enrolled at the same time as me,” Fushiguro informed the boy leading you to kindly smile at him while holding up a peace sign to seem more friendly.
“I’m Itadori Yuji, I’m from Sendai,” Itadori greeted you as he pointed at himself, causing you to nod your head before asking both the boys where your extremely tall teacher was, only for them to shrug at you indicating they had no idea on where Gojo was at all.
‘He probably is buying snacks or something ha?’
“Now it ain’t just the two of us ha Megumi?” you playfully asked your boyfriend as you poked his cheek, leading him to send you a side glance only for a giggle to be your response. Although it was a small interaction, Itadori was able to instantly pick up on something that confused him slightly.
“L/N, why did you call Fushiguro by his first name and not his family one?” Itadori asked in curiosity as he wondered how you were really friendly with the usually grumpy sorcerer. Turning to look at your new classmate, you smiled at him and quickly answered by saying, “no reason really, he just allowed me to since we’re really good friends,”.
Knowing Fushiguro, you knew he probably didn’t want to reveal the fact that you and him were in a relationship to Itadori too early into his newfound friendship with him, so you decided that it was the best for now to tell your new classmate that you two were really good friends.
On the other hand, what you didn’t see was how Fushiguro was looking at you. The shikigami user really appreciated the fact that you weren’t the type to tell the whole world about the both of you since he was a person that thought that not everyone needed to know if he was in a relationship or not leading to a small smile to dawn his face with a hint of adoration in his eyes as he stared at you.
Which was caught by the sights of Itadori Yuji.
                                             ꕥ
However in his sights right now was not the same expression Fushiguro had that day. But how he wished it was. All Itadori could see right now was fear, desperation and regret in Fushiguro’s emerald eyes as he was holding onto your body like he was gripping the small amount of life that you could possibly have left in your body.
“Please don’t leave me,” Fushiguro muttered in a brittle tone, as he gently shook you, not giving up on the fact that you could have a chance of waking up. Not giving up the chance that he gets to see your beautiful eyes. Not giving up the chance that he gets to see your bright smile. Not giving up on the chance that he gets to see you alive.
“I’m sorry for not protecting you, please just wake up, I can’t lose you too,” Fushiguro begged as sorrowful tears began to lightly hit your cheeks with his throat slowly closing up leading to a slight struggle in breathing. Fushiguro slowly and regrettably came to the realisation that you were now gone, leading to a river of guilt that uncontrollably began to flow down to which caused the grade two sorcerer let out a pained scream as his friends from behind looked at the scene with a broken heart.
Gripping on to your body, Fushiguro held your body against his chest and his face was hidden in the crook of your head wanting to hold you for one last time before you were fully taken away from him.
“Hey….Mimi”
Now he was hallucinating. Fushiguro was now hearing your voice as if you were calling out to him. He couldn’t help but fully accept that fact that you were dead and there was no chance you could possibly be calling out his nickname that he hated so much but was so desperate to hear again if he could.
Suddenly to his shock, Fushiguro felt a light but tight grip on his school jacket leading him to slowly pull away with widening eyes to a hand on his jacket causing him to look up to notice your eyes slowly begin to open, showcasing the coloured orbs that the shikigami user was so desperate to see.
“Mimi….it’s really hard to….concentrate using reverse curse energy….when you’re tightly gripping on to me,” you slowly commented with a small smile on your face, to which then you slowly began to sit up only to fall back into his arms due to exhaustion of using a magnitude of your curse energy to heal the injury that the special curse managed to wound you with.
“Y/N!” everyone shouted, as they crouched down to have a clear view of what they were seeing. To their complete astonishment, you were fully awake with a smile on your face leading everyone’s hearts to fill with joy as they were relieved that you were here right in front of them alive and well.
Kugisaki couldn’t help but instantly let tears of complete joy flow down her cheeks as she launched herself on top of you, tightly hugging you close to her releasing all the agonising tension that she was holding in the second she saw your once lifeless body in Fushiguro’s arms.
Gently lifting up one of your arms to Kugisaki’s body to comfort her, you slowly turned your head to stare up at the pair of emerald eyes that were looking at you with such relief and radiance, leading to your other hand that was previously gripping his jacket to then be placed on his cheek as you used your thumb to caress it to help him slowly come back to reality.
To be honest, you could tell he needed it right now. At the beginning of the Kyoto Sister-School Goodwill Event, you, Fushiguro and Kugisaki were utterly dumbfounded at the fact that Itadori was alive and well after 2 months of assuming that he was dead after Sukuna ripped out his heart and now you somehow you ‘came back alive’ after sustaining a serious injury of your neck being slashed - you knew seeing two people being revived was not what you saw every day.
“I’m sorry for scaring you like that,” you whispered to Fushiguro as you lightly brushed the remaining tears he had on his cheek leading to the stoic sorcerer to softly place his forehead against yours as he began to savour the warmth that he thought he had lost.
“Thank you,’ Fushiguro muttered as he closed his eye tightly, holding in the new coming tears that were threatening to flow down leading to your hand that was on his cheek to be now placed on the back of his neck as your fingers began to caress his hair to help calm him down even further.
“Thank you for staying”
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© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost
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atsuwiee · 3 years ago
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accidentally confessing to your bestfriend! enhypen.
because, this actually happened to me irl- they ended up liking me back as well so this scenario (?) is purely based on what happened to me lmaoo
warnings: i think i put in some swear words- and slight angst on jay's part lol
also this is kinda long so be rEadY ?? anyways enjoy wie woo
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
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heeseung
it was a normal weekend hangout at your place with heeseung, though he had noticed you were acting a bit strange when he arrived. both of you were at your room and your eyes were glued to your phone, thumbs moving at a fast pace, while heeseung was on the floor playing a video game alone. for the longest time you've had a crush on heeseung and you had planned on telling him countless of times but you didn't know when to- while texting your other friends about him and them persuading you to go on and tell him now- you feel your phone get grabbed out of your hands. "hey give me that!" you say as you reached for your phone only to be pushed back into the bed (playfully) by heeseung. "you're texting your crush, aren't you?" he said playfully as he kept your phone out of reach. "shut up and give it back, lee heeseung!" heeseung didn't listen to you at all instead he got on top of and started to tickle your sides. "tell me who! and i'll stop" he said as he got closer to your face, slowly the redness of your cheeks become evident. "as if!" you scoff as he continued to tickle you. "gosh, okay, okay! heeseung it's you!" you say in between laughter only for this to stop when you realized what you had just said. "i- okay i didn't mean that-" you say as you cover your mouth. "you like me?" "yeah dumbass-" you were cut off by his lips that pressed onto your cheek. "i like you too, cutie"
jay
playing the famous game never have i ever with jay at a literal ungodly hour, out of boredom, you both had been going back and forth at each other for any potential blackmail material you (both) could use. jay paused for a little longer than usual, trying to formulate his question. "aw, did you run out of questions?" you teased him. "no- oh i got one!" he says excitedly. "this is going to be such a cliché question but, never have i ever fallen in love with my bestfriend" jay said with a cheeky smile. "i want to hear your answer first" you say, trying to hide whatever you might spill out of your mouth. "never" he said, this only made your heart ache knowing he doesn't even like you back. "uh-" you paused for a bit making jay raise a brow "what? cat got your tongue?" he said in a playful tone. "well, i have... never..." you say while avoiding eye contact. "are you lying?" he asked as he got closer to your face. "me? lying? why would i be lying about having a crush on..." "crush on?" he asked, prodding into your attempted lie. "you" you say out loud. "you have a crush on me?" jay asked he distanced himself a bit from you. "yeah jongseong, so what? you don't even like me back" you say as you stood up. "i wasn't supposed to tell you until i was ready" you say. "i'm sorry" jay apologized. when you had left, jay wanted to tell you that he really liked you back- but how could he? he said "never" when he actually had a crush on his bestfriend.
jake
jake continued on and on, discussing about the topics you were struggling in physics. you had called him over to tutor you, but when he came to your aid, it appears you had gotten more distracted and jake noticed this as he saw you writing on your journal instead of taking a look at your notes and your textbook. "hey, y/n, are you even listening?" jake said while he snapped his fingers in front of you. "yeah, i am-" you said and quickly looked up from your journal. jake nodded and continued but once he did, your head was in your journal again- eyes glued to whatever you were writing. "okay, clearly you aren't listening, give me that-" he said as he grabbed your journal out of your hands. "i am listening!" you protest, jake was curious on what you were writing so he took a look. "i think i can't focus because of him... why am i even in love with him? wait- you're in love with me?" he asked as he pointed to himself. "stop reading that!" you say as you grabbed your journal out of his hands. your cheeks grew red, and you were quick to grab your textbook to cover your flustered face. you could hear jake giggle and moved the textbook from your face, he kisses your forehead softly and smiles. "well now we got that clarified- shall we continue, y/n?"
sunghoon
"are you free today?" sunghoon asked. "well, i'm not doing anything at the moment so, i guess i'm free today- also are you alright? you sound sad" you say hinting out the tone of his voice. "i just feel tired..." he says. "so uh- do you want to go to the amusement park with me?" he asks. "didn't you say you were tired? you need rest" "please? i just want to unwind with you for a bit" you then said yes later on to his offer. "okay meet you there in twenty minutes" you said as you hung up on the phone so you could get ready. both of you were having fun on the rides and games- not until he pointed to the rollercoaster and practically begged you to go on it. "i-" "pleasee, i'll hold your hand if you're scared" he said with a smile, you couldn't resist this man so both of you went on it. sunghoon knows nothing about your fear of heights so when the ride was about to drop from it's peak you held his hand tightly shouting "i fucking hate rollercoasters- i also wanted you to know i love you a lot, hoon, like a lot lot-!" sunghoon had heard everything and held tight onto your hand. after the ride you both had sat down on a bench. "did you mean what you said?" he asked then faced you, your face growing pinkish. "ah so you heard it... yeah i meant everythi-" you were cut off by his soft lips pressed on yours. "i just wanted you to know i love you too, like a lot, y/n"
sunoo
it was a normal afternoon for you both, sunoo was seated on the couch while you lay down placing your head on his lap, he played with your hair while you played a game on your phone. sunoo brushing your hair with his fingers and at times he'd braid some strands of it too. you were starting to get bored from your game and decided to exit the app to go onto your social media, but sunoo was watching and something on your screen caught his eye. "is that me on your homescreen?" he asked and you were quick to put your phone against your chest. "uh, what?" you asked trying to act clueless. "you used my picture as your wallpaper, you adore that much, don't you?" he said playfully. "ew, who says i have you as my wallpaper?" you asked back while he just scoffed. "i saw it y/n, don't lie~" sunoo said and you sat up from laying down on his lap. "fine" you mumbled out your answer. "do you have a crush on me~?" he asked, more onto the teasing side but you had accidentally spilled your actual answer to him. "haha you bet!" you say with awkward finger guns. "i- uh, need to use the bathroom, be right back!" you say as you quickly headed to the bathroom. sunoo knew what your answer meant, so now he's left there- smiling and giggling on how his best friend likes him back.
jungwon
you had been planning on telling jungwon about how you left through a letter and planned on telling later on the walk back home from school. "y/n" your classmate called before you exited the classroom. "you're a friend of yang jungwon, right?" she asked and you nodded. "could you please give this letter to him? it's regarding the quiz bee thing, i'm one of his teammates" she said as she handed you the folded paper, similar to the love letter (for jungwon) you were holding. "oh okay, i'll give it to him!" you say as you got the letter. "oh thanks, y/n" she said and bid her goodbyes as she left. as you walked beside jungwon back home you remembered the letter from your classmate. "oh jungwon, my classmate said i should give you this letter- its about the quiz bee thing" you said as you stopped walking and looked for it inside your bag. "ugh it's probably another reminder to review" he said as he opened the letter, but then you can see confusion evident in his face. "uh-you give me butterflies every time i see you... uh i don't think this is about the quiz bee-" "what do you mean, let me see?" you say as he shows you the letter. "i- oh my god! i didn't mean to give you that!" you say as you look into your bag again and give the other letter. "here-" "i'll read it when i get home, let me read yours first" he said with a soft smile and intertwined his hands into yours.
ni-ki
"i leave for a minute to use the bathroom and now my phone is missing- riki where the hell did you hide it?" you say, literally flipping all the pillows in your room. "ugh even one of my earbud is missing" you say. "why are you looking at me like that?" riki asks, trying to act clueless. "why are you always hiding my stuff? this isn't even your house!" you say as you walk around your room trying to look for your phone and one of the missing earbud. "please tell me where you hid it" you say as he just laughed and laid down on your bed. "what do i get in return?" he asks playfully. "i'll buy you some bungeoppang" you say, hoping he'll give back what he hid from you. "sounds good! here's your phone now" he says taking it out from under his shirt. "uh, my earbud though?" you say as put your hand out, signaling he give it now. "ah- that's for another deal" he says. "riki just what the fu-" "is jay hyung your boyfriend?" he asked. "no he isn't, where did you get that from?" you asked back. "people were talking about it at school- and i was really offended that you didn't tell your own bff" riki said with (yet again) a playful tone and with a pout. "i don't know why they would say that- because the only guy i'm in love with is you" you impulsively. "you what?" he asked. "i what?" you asked back. "you're in love.... with me?!" riki asks pointing at himself. "you know what- give me back my earbud when i get back, i'll go buy your bungeoppang now- bye!" you ran out the door leaving riki who's a flustered mess now. he then punches the air and you could hear his screams of victory "woo! y/n likes me!" you can hear which makes you more flustered as well.
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mythiccheroacademia · 4 years ago
Note
Can we get hcs for Bakugo, Midoriya, and Todoroki (separately) falling in love with reader who takes no bs but is also kinda shy?
Reader Doesn’t Take Shit from Nobody
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mtha thots: getting back into the swing of things! hopefully this was okay :’)
warnings: none 
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Bakugo Katsuki: 
bakugo couldnt stand you
but he also couldn’t help falling for you
it’s a crazy concept for him considering how you two did NOT get along at first
you and him butt heads from the beginning
from day one of class, he was being a little shit and you just didn’t care for it
the moment he figured that out was when he was stomping down the hallways, pissed off about something 
he roughly knocked into your shoulder 
you didn’t know if it was on accident or not but you were willing to just let it go 
that was, until bakugo opened his big mouth
“watch where you’re going, extra!”
you: 🤨
he wasn’t expecting you, the quite person in class, to quiet literally buck at him and shout back
“watch where you’re stepping, punk!”
him: 😧
katsuki was too stunned to reply before you stalked off, steaming
from then on, it was like he had heart eyes in the angriest way possible 
there was something about you that got his attention 
you’d walk by and he’d go: 😡🤬❤️
sometimes, he found himself pushing his luck just so you’d talk to him—even if it meant threatening to kick him in the throat if he yelled at you one more time 
everyone thought it was a bit weird that bakugo was so admant on bothering you
you were kinda shy and didn’t talk much 
but they figured it was just how bakugo worked 
you thought the same 
so imagine your surprise on White Day (Valentine’s Day but for men) when you were cornered by the blonde hero
he aggressively shoved a box of homemade chocolates in your hand and shouted something about you still being annoying before stomping away 
like the emotionally constipated boy he was 
but despite everything, you still couldnt help but softly smile at the love note attached to it reading:
i still think you’re an extra, but i hope i can convince you to be my extra
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Midoriya Izuku:
it’s in this boy’s dna to befriend the most intimidating of people 
despite the fact that he once saw you almost lose your life after cursing a certain explosive hero from hell and back again, he was hooked
call it love at first sight or something, bc this boy was basically struck by cupid’s arrow 
izuku found himself intrigued by everything you were
even though you didn’t take shit from anyone...
you were very quiet and didn’t talk to many people 
it was hard for you to make friends bc of it 
but that’s okay bc you were content with yourself
often times, you kept to yourself and just focused on your studies
it made you hard to approach but izuku was determined!
albeit, it took a long time before he actually spoke to you 
he was still a nervous bean
for a few weeks, he just watched you 
he’d watch you from the corner of his eye during class, blushing every time one of his friends would call him out on it 
his eyes were glued to you every time you used your powers
even when you did mundane stuff, he’d notice your tiny quirks 
and every day he’d find himself falling deeper and deeper for you 
it wasn’t until todoroki caught him doodling you in your hero costume that the dekusquad realized his feelings 
“you’ve got it bad,” ochako would tease
that turned into an hour long session of midoriya ranting about how to approach you and confess his feelings
“i heard talking to people works”
todoroki’s a little shit when he wants to be
but he’s also right 
mustering up as much courage as he could, izuku walked up to your desk before class
you were about to ask if he needed to go to the medical bay bc of how red his face was but he interrupted you with a flurry of words
“HELLO!i my name is izuku midoriya and i think you’re really cool and--w-wait i meant to say you’re prett--WAIT! okay. sorry. i’m--i mean i think it would be pretty cool if we like--oh geez this sounds so weird. i promise i’m not u-usally like this, i just thought i--”
the shock on your face melted into a gentle smile
“hi, midoriya. i’m [l/n] [f/n]”
and it was like your voice calmed the storm in his head
izuku’s cheeks were still flushed but he was able to return the smile as he felt his heart grow bigger
you really were beautiful 
“hi L/N. i’m midoriya izuku”
“you said that already”
bless his heart 😭
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Todoroki Shouto: 
tbh, shouto hadn’t really noticed you in the beginning
granted, he was sorting through a lot of personal stuff 
but you were so quiet and shy that he sort of...looked over you 
(he did that to everyone so don’t take it to heart)
although, it was the opposite for you 
you noticed him from the first day of class
how could you not? everyone did 
he was the really strong really pretty boy that got in through a reccomendation AND he was the son of endeavor 
maybe he was kind of intimidating and a bit cold, but that didn’t stop you from admiring him
....and also developing a small crush on him that you’d take to the grave
bc, let’s be real, the chances of him returning your feelings were zero to none and you forced yourself to be okay with that
but things changed when you overheard shouto’s and midoriya’s conversation before the sport’s festival 
it absolutely broke your heart 
you kept it to yourself bc it wasn’t your business to go butting into his life
but when you were walking down the hall to find a bathroom and accidentally walked in on shouto and endeavor’s talk, you couldn’t help yourself 
endeavor immediately stopped and noticed the hard look on your face. when you didn’t bow in respect, he spoke up
“it’d do you well to show some respect to your elders, little girl/boy”
you stopped, looked him up and down, before walking off 
endeavor scoffed and went back to talking to his son 
but todoroki was shook
his heart literally went doki doki 😳❤️ LMAOO
the next day he asked for your name 
th following weeks he found himself sitting with you during lunch or studying for exams 
you got closer and closer to one another
you were a timid presence, but your sense of justice was strong
you didn’t take bs from anyone, including those that were above you and todoroki couldnt help but be intrigued
shouto didn’t realize it until it was too late, but one day, he woke up and felt this incredibly strong urge to be by you 
it wouldn’t go away for the longest time and only got worse every time he saw you 
it wasn’t until momo broke it down for him that he realized he fell for you
and he fell hard 
and although shouto was new to this, he wouldn’t miss the opportnity to see it through 
bc you were special to him and he’d be damned if he let you go 
Requests are closed
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retrievablememories · 4 years ago
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U.N.I. | doyoung (m)
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title: college love pairing: doyoung x black!reader genre: fluff, smut, college!au request: There’s suddenly a foreigner in his class (University of course). He teases her and always seems to stick to her side. The kick is, is that she finds out he likes her by eavesdropping [I wanted to give you room to flex that brain of yours bc your writing is like magic] word count: 6.3k warnings: emetophobia warning, alcohol use, sub!doyoung, handjob, oral (female receiving...and a little bit male receiving?), thigh riding a/n: shout out to anon for the new title idea cuz i be struggling lmaoo
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Doyoung is curious. 
You are new to his class, having joined a couple weeks after the semester had already begun. You’re certainly not the first foreigner he’s seen, considering that the university is an international school that sees a wealth of students from other countries every year.
But still. He’s curious.
You both sit in the same row, with you a few seats down from him. That makes it harder for him to sneak glances over at you without being too obvious or receiving weird looks from the other students who think he’s staring at them. Mostly, he contents himself with hearing your voice when you answer questions or occasionally talk to your other classmates.
Doyoung tries to think about how he might also get to talk to you without seeming weird or too random, which makes him feel even sillier because he usually doesn’t have this much anxiety over talking to new people. However, he doesn’t have to ponder over it for much longer when the professor decides to split each row into groups for an in-class assignment.
You and him and three other people from your row gather together in a circle, and there are a few awkward introductions—as is the norm with classmates who haven’t truly interacted with each other before.
“I’m Y/N,”  you introduce yourself, glancing at the others sitting across from you.
They nod in acknowledgement, and Doyoung responds with, “It’s nice to meet you.” He makes sure to give his best welcoming smile, which you return.
Despite all five of you being in the same group, it soon becomes apparent that Doyoung is the best ally to have on your team. The other three students couldn’t be less motivated about the assignment if they tried, mostly gleaning answers off the two of you.
By the time the period ends, you are more than ready to get the hell out and go to your next class. You can only roll your eyes at knowing they’ll get credit for work they barely even helped with. However, your bad mood is momentarily interrupted by your only other partner who bothered to help—Doyoung.
“Thanks for that,” he says as you pass by his desk. You stop and turn around, raising your eyebrows. “You know, for...that.” Doyoung shoots an icy look towards the other people in your row. Only one of them meets his eyes, though they pointedly try to pretend like they never saw him as they gather their things and leave.
You watch the awkward exchange and can’t help but laugh. “Oh yeah, no problem. It’s nice to have someone who actually cares enough to help.”
Doyoung instantly thinks your laugh is pretty, and he decides he wants to hear more of it.
“You know, if you ever want to work together again, I’m here,” he suggests. “I mean...you’re new here, right? So if you need any help with anything...just ask.”
You smile, grateful for the offer. “Oh really? That’s nice of you. I might just have to take you up on it...because I really don’t know a soul here.” You check your phone. “Shit, I should be getting to my next class. See you later. Thanks again!”
Doyoung waves as you leave the classroom, wanting to say more but knowing you’re busy, and he hopes that you really do consider his offer.
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The next class doesn’t involve groups this time, much to your relief—and Doyoung’s as well. Doyoung still finds a way to talk to you without having to do group work, though; and the best part about it is that he doesn’t even have to do anything.
“Hey Doyoung,” you say, coming to stand by his desk at the end of class. He perks up in his seat at your presence, giving you an amiable smile.
“Hey Y/N, how are you?”
“I’m fine, though I do feel a little lost at the moment.”
Doyoung’s eyebrows draw together. “What’s the matter?”
You laugh and shake your head, a little embarrassed to tell him. “Okay, like, I have a map of the campus and everything, but I keep getting lost trying to go to classes and it’s kind of annoying...plus I don’t need a bunch of tardies in my first month here.”
“Your professors still care about that kind of stuff?”
“Yep. Unfortunately, I didn’t get any of the cool ones who don’t give a fuck about someone coming in late—for a class I’m paying for. Amazing.”
Doyoung smirks. “So you need a tour guide, is that it?”
You shrug. “If you’re up for it. I don’t wanna take up too much of your time, you know, if you’re busy. This campus is unnecessarily huge.”
Doyoung gathers his bag and stands to his feet. “Of course I can help the damsel in distress.”
“Damsel, huh?” You snort. “What’re you then, a knight in shining armor?”
“I can be if you want me to be.”
“You a comedian or something?” You give him a look between incredulity and amusement, a bit surprised at him being so brazen. “Let’s go then, brave knight. Help me find out where the Student Affairs office is before I completely lose my mind.”
Just as you asked, Doyoung leads you right to the Student Affairs office—and to a bunch of other places on campus, which you’re not entirely sure you’re going to remember. At least you have him to walk you through it until you memorize everything. 
Finally, you both stop in a grassy area of campus with a few benches nearby, standing under the shade of a tree. Doyoung turns to you. “I’ve dragged you all over this campus now, so I guess the least I could do is buy you a coffee or something.”
“You did it because I asked! But...if you’re determined to pay, I won’t stop you.” You laugh.
“Do you remember where the coffee shop is?” Doyoung asks, like he��s a professor giving you a pop quiz. You sweat because you’ve already forgotten, and you screw your face up in mock concentration.
“Umm...that way?” You point in a random direction and he chuckles when it’s wrong. He grabs your arm and guides it to the right direction, which is behind you—right in the area you just came from.
“No, it’s here! Let’s go. We’re gonna need to spend some more time out here later.”
By the end of the day, you’re surprised by how comfortable you already feel around Doyoung despite only talking to him for the first time in your group assignment the other day. He appears to think the same of you, if him sliding you his number is any indication.
“I know we have a class together, but if you want to talk outside of that…you know where to reach me now.” He taps his fingers against the table you’re both sitting at. “I think you’ll definitely be needing another tour soon.”
“I tried my best.” You sigh dramatically, placing your chin in your hand. “But thanks. I’ve got your number now, so don’t feel a way if you see me bothering you more often.” You flash him a teasing grin.
Doyoung shakes his head goodnaturedly at your statement, taking another sip of his coffee. “Somehow, I don’t think I’ll mind.”
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Though you do call on Doyoung to help you get around campus a few more times, he ends up hanging around you a lot more often outside the guise of being your personal tour guide.
Whether it’s to go to the library, visit a fast food place off campus, or even see some sports game, he’s never far away. During your first month of being at school, he’d simply explained it as wanting you to get familiar with the sights in and around campus so you wouldn’t get lost again. However, it quickly culminates in him randomly asking you to go places just because he can—and because he wants to.
You’re glad for his company—much more than you’d let him know, not wanting to come off as too clingy. Though Doyoung seems like the type to be all about his studies—which he mostly is, and it’s not a bad thing—he also knows how to have fun and how to make you laugh, even explaining jokes in Korean that go over your head. 
He makes you feel remarkably less alone while adjusting to living in another country, far away from home. It also doesn’t take you long to find out that he’s good for teasing you to no end, which often makes you want to roll your eyes or flick him in the forehead, but even his banter reminds you of your friends back home. You’re incredibly grateful for that small piece of familiarity.
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After a couple months of finally settling into the campus life, you, Doyoung, and a few of his friends decide to go to a frat house party, along with Seulgi—a girl you’re becoming close to in another one of your classes. You’re not entirely sure what to anticipate, but the experience is quite similar to what you’d expect to see back in your home country—the same drunk dancing, endless shots of alcohol, loud music, and men who are far too grabby for their own good.
Speaking of that last point…
You and Seulgi dance together amongst a flood of bodies, which is fun for a while until random men keep trying to drag you away from each other to dance with them instead; some of them are more agitated than others about being rejected.
“College guys are dangerously horny.” Seulgi laughs, though she also cuts her eyes at a small group of men nearby who’re giving you both ravenous looks.
“Kinda wish they’d go be horny somewhere else,” you say, and then you roll your eyes when yet another hand brushes against your waist. You turn to see who the culprit is this time, but it’s only Doyoung, and you’re palpably relieved to see him. “You’re back! Seems like you’d disappeared forever.”
“Yes, I am. Someone’s excited. Did you miss me that bad?” He smirks.
“Oh, please. I’m just happy you’re here so the creeps will go away.”
When you say this, his expression instantly morphs into one of recognizable concern. “Is someone bothering you two?”
“Not really, these dudes are just weirdly pushy.” Seulgi giggles, trying to wave it off. The last thing you all need is to start an argument or a full-out fight with one of these frat guys.
“Forreal. Therefore, you should act like you’re my boyfriend until the night is over.” You declare this unabashedly, linking your arm with Doyoung’s. For a second, he seems flustered at your suggestion, and then his face settles back into the same cool countenance as before.
“Fine, since you want to be next to me so much.” You elbow him at that. “That’s a good save for you, but what about Seulgi?” Doyoung asks, looking at the other girl. She is unbothered, though, and casually grabs his other arm.
“Poly relationship. Ever heard of it?” Now he really is flustered, and you laugh out loud at his expression.
You spend a good portion of the night like that, all three of you linked together as the perfect “throuple,” with some people at the party giving you interesting looks. When Johnny sees you all, he throws you and Doyoung an expression reminiscent of a grin—but somehow more devious—and Doyoung only twists his mouth up in a sneer. You don’t know what any of that interaction means, though it makes you wonder.
Seulgi eventually decides she prefers Johnny to be her fake boyfriend instead of Doyoung and goes off with him to do...whatever it is they went to do. You’re sure you can take a guess, though.
After the other two take their leave, you and Doyoung eventually end up on the back porch. It’s a little cooler out here than it is inside, though still a bit crowded with lingering couples and groups. You’re both bunched up in a small corner against the side of the house, leaning over the railing to look out at the backyard—which is mostly just trees and bushes.
“Well, how are you enjoying your first college party?” he asks, casting a questioning glance your way.
“It’s fun. I think I could see why some people end up spending all their time on this instead of studying, ha.”
“Hey, don’t become a party girl ‘cause I’m not gonna do all your homework for you.” Doyoung snickers.
“Oh, Doyoung. I wouldn’t expect you to, you’re not even good at science.”
He sucks his teeth and tucks his chin into his arms to hide the grin playing across his face. It’s quiet again for a little while, or as quiet as it can be with the others on the porch talking and laughing.
Doyoung peeks at you from underneath his fringe and thinks about what he should say next. Something like...not that, but…well, what if he did? Would it be terrible if he said it now, right here at a crowded frat party on some rickety back porch? Maybe, but…
Doyoung pushes himself off the railing and looks at you, tracing your profile with his eyes. Maybe the alcohol has taken more effect on him than he initially thought. “Y/N…” he starts, and you glance at him.
Just then, a red-faced dude who’s obviously incredibly smashed stumbles over to where you two are and promptly throws up on the floor. Some of it gets on Doyoung’s shoes, which causes him to jump back and curse loudly.
“Are you a fucking idiot?!”
“That’s disgusting,” you groan, turning your face away from the mess. You’d probably laugh if it weren’t so gross—and wasn’t right next to where you were standing. The guy doesn’t pay either of you much attention, though, because he’s too busy slumping against the railing like he’s going to pass out. Maybe somebody should worry about that, but it won’t be either of you.
“Ugh, for fuck’s sake...come on.” Doyoung takes your hand and carefully steers you around the mess, heading back indoors and maneuvering through the thick of the party. You’re not sure where he’s going at first until you both end up in some cramped bathroom, with him pulling his shoes off and running them under the tub faucet. You lean against the door, feeling like you need to stand guard so no drunken couples will burst in, even though it’s already locked. You’re not quite sure why he brought you along for this little ride, but you’re not complaining; it’s better than being left outside.
You look at him sitting on the edge of the tub and angrily wiping his shoes as best he can with toilet paper, and you giggle, though you try to keep it quiet. However, you can’t stop more giggles from pouring out at his comically pissed-off expression. Doyoung looks up at you with his eyebrows creased, a confused and irritated look coloring his features. “What’s so funny?”
You shake your head, unable to speak for a few moments. Doyoung tilts his head to the side and looks at you impatiently while you try to catch your breath, though his upset face only makes you want to laugh more. “I’m sorry, but from where I’m standing...th—this is pretty hilarious.” You burst out into laughter again. “I’m locked in a bathroom with you at a college party while you scrub vomit off your shoes. If this doesn’t make us friends for life, nothing will.”
To your surprise, he actually cracks a cynical grin after a few moments, shaking his head and sighing. His shoulders heave with the gesture. “I hate university sometimes.”
Doyoung tries not to think too deeply about that “friends for life” comment, though to his irritation, it stays in his head for days after the party. Even after he’s nearly forgotten about the shoe incident.
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You go to the library one night to find an academic journal for an upcoming paper. You’re not happy about having to make the trek, especially in this digital era when everything imaginable is usually readily accessible online, but it is what it is.
At night, the library becomes more of a hangout spot rather than a place for studying, and you don’t entirely expect to get much reading done in there. You’re hoping there’s an empty room or something you can duck into to take some quick notes on the information you need.
Finding the journal takes a bit of searching, but you finally locate it on a shelf near the back of the library. You’re about to leave the aisle and find somewhere to read it when a couple of people walk into the aisle in front of yours. By their voices, you know it’s Doyoung and Johnny.
You decide to peek over and say hi, but before you can get to the end of the aisle, you hear their heated conversation. You stop in your tracks and listen, which you probably shouldn’t be doing; but you’re not sure if you want to interrupt this talk they’re having once you hear what they’re saying, either.
“You’re being ridiculous. Just tell her!” Johnny hisses under his breath like he wants to talk louder but doesn’t want to be too distracting in the library. Ever so courteous of him, but you doubt anyone else really cares at the moment.
“Hyung, not everybody is like you. It’s not easy to just go up to someone and say you like them.”
“You act as if you’re gonna be talking to a stranger. She knows you and you know her, you hang out all the time. It’s more likely that she does like you than she doesn’t.”
“...You really think that?”
“She lets you tell all your unfunny jokes without much complaint, so yeah, I’d say she must be head over heels for you.”
“Shut the hell up. Unfunny jokes? You’re one to talk!”
You listen to the conversation intently, wondering who this mystery girl Doyoung apparently likes could be. He’s never told you about having a crush on anyone, nor has he made it obvious that he likes someone else. Although you know he has other friends—Johnny’s obviously one of them—you’re not sure what girl he hangs out with all the time besides you.
Johnny chuckles. “Don’t be mad that Y/N laughs at my jokes more than yours.”
Your eyebrows raise at this. Wait. What does this conversation have to do with you? Unless.
“Yeah, you’re supposed to laugh at a clown,” Doyoung retorts.
“Whatever, Doyoung. You just do what I told you. It’s seriously so sad watching you pine over Y/N like there isn’t an easy solution for this.”
You’re reeling with shock by now, but their voices are also getting closer to the end of the aisle like they’re about to walk into the very one you’re hiding out in. You run away before they can spot you, though you do end up drawing a few peculiar glances from some other library goers.
You eventually find a quiet, uncrowded space to sit down and take notes in, though you can hardly concentrate on the work at hand with this new information in your mind. Doyoung likes you? Doyoung likes you. Then that must be why he always messes with you, and why he’s practically been glued to your side since you got there.
Your hand tightens and loosens around your pen repeatedly as you mull over this knowledge. The longer you think about it, though, a smirk grows on your face.
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The week after, you and Doyoung have one of your regular study sessions together. You’ve dressed up for it more than you normally would—the same thing you’ve been doing throughout the week, too. Even if Doyoung doesn’t know what you know, you get a bit of fun out of dressing up to catch his eye. And it definitely works.
He always steals glances at you when he thinks you aren’t paying any attention, and you get infinite amusement out of whipping your head around to try to catch him in the act. The light blush on the tips of his ears and his startled bunny look is worth it every time.
“You got so dressed up just to study? You’ve really been going all out this week,” Doyoung comments as you sit down at your usual table in the library. He gives a small smirk as he scans your new outfit for today. He does this as if he’s only teasing and evaluating your clothes, puckering his lips in concentration, though it’s also an excuse to check you out.
“You could just say ‘you look so fucking fine this week, Y/N.’ I know you want to say it, anyway.” Doyoung’s cheeks flush a little, and he shakes his head.
“You’re something else. Okay, you look pretty. Does that satisfy you?”
“Well. You forgot the ‘fucking,’ but I’ll let it slide.”
You both get into your work and a calm quiet settles between you, punctuated with you occasionally asking each other questions about the assignment. At some point, you grow a little bored with staring at the text for so long, and you stop and simply look at Doyoung sitting across from you in one of his favorite hoodies and his glasses. Something tender rises in your chest, a sensation you hadn’t quite given a name to until now, and you put your cheek in your hand, grinning slightly.
“I wonder why someone like you doesn’t have a girlfriend yet.”
Doyoung looks up as if he’s not sure if you’re talking to him, then furrows his eyebrows. “Someone like me?”
“Aw, you know, you’re handsome and caring and smart, and you can even be a little bit funny—even though you get on my nerves sometimes.” Doyoung rolls his eyes at the last part, though you know he’s preening at your compliments.
“I don’t know, I’m busy with studies.”
“But isn’t there even one person you might like? Or might be interested in?” Doyoung’s not looking at you anymore, his eyes dropping back down to instead focus on his book, but you notice how his fingers tighten around the textbook’s edges.
“Um—well, I haven’t really thought about that…”
“Really? No one in your dorm or your classes has caught your eye?”
Doyoung shifts a little and clears his throat. He shakes his head in response to your question, though the movement is hesitant. “What about you?”
“Changing the subject, huh? Excellent method of evasion…” You flip a page in your notebook, pointedly avoiding Doyoung’s gaze even though he’s peering up at you again. You wait with your lips clamped together, trying not to laugh as his expression grows more impatient.
“Well?! Aren’t you going to answer, after forcing me to?”
“I will when you tell the truth.” You slap the notebook closed, which causes him to jump, and this time a laugh does slip out. Doyoung’s eyes dart around your small section of the library like there might be someone else listening, or like he’s searching for a prank camera.
“The truth about what? I already told you!”
“Then what about what you told Johnny?”
Doyoung freezes for a moment, and various emotions flit across his face. He finally settles firmly on embarrassment and disappointment. “...He told you? I’m going to kill him.” His voice is softer now, like he would disappear completely if he could.
“No, I—okay, don’t get mad at me, it’s not like I did it on purpose, but I heard you two talking in here a week ago…”
“Oh...shit. You—you were there? And you didn’t say anything?!”
“Yeah. Not very discreet, huh? Maybe you want to do that in your dorm room next time.” You’re still smiling. Doyoung shifts nervously again, as if he just wants to get up and run the hell out.
“So, um…you know, then.”
“Yep.”
“If you don’t like me, you can just say so,” Doyoung blurts out. “I...it’s fine. I don’t expect anything of you, so we can really just forget all about this. I promise I won’t make things weird, Y/N. I just...I just found myself really liking you as we got to know each other.”
“You can’t make things weird when you’re already weird.” You giggle and place your hand over Doyoung’s, grasping his fingers. “So...let’s date, then.”
He looks at you questioningly, surprise taking over. “Wait, you’re serious?”
“I’m serious.” And now you’re a little embarrassed yourself, but you continue, “Doyoung...I like you too. I guess I don’t totally hate all your teasing. But don’t get cocky about it.”
Doyoung rearranges your hands so your fingers are now laced together. A relieved smile makes a home on his lips. “Well, too late. Now you’re never going to hear the end of it.”
“Oh, I can’t wait.” Your response is sarcastic, but the smile on your face is totally genuine.
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That weekend, Johnny leaves the dorm to go visit some of his other friends in town, which means Doyoung will have the room all to himself for those few days. Normally his plans would consist of studying, trying to catch up on sleep, or seeing what his other friends are up to, but with you as his new girlfriend, he wants to spend that time together.
“So, this is your dorm,” you say, holding Doyoung’s hand as he leads you into his shared dorm with Johnny.
“Home away from home, I guess,” he says, leading you over to his bed so you can sit down. Before he can let go of your hand, you tug him to you and gesture for him to bring his face closer to yours, like you’re going to whisper something to him.
“What is it?” he asks. He’s quickly silenced by you pushing your lips against his in a kiss. When you both separate, it’s reluctant, and Doyoung pecks your mouth once more before straightening up again. You laugh at the slightly goofy grin on his face.
“What should we do?” you ask, getting more comfortable on his bed and leaning against the wall.
“I had movies in mind, but we can do anything you want.”
“Movies are fine! Hurry and start it up, I’m gonna get cold without you beside me.”
Doyoung gives an overexaggerated cringe, and you hide your face. “And you complain about me being cheesy?!”
You both make it through two and a half movies before you start getting antsy with sitting in the same spot for so long. Doyoung is still lying calmly beside you, his arm around your shoulder and the other behind his head as he continues watching the movie. Deciding to act on a whim, you abandon all pretenses of watching any more of the movie and swing your legs over his own so you’re sitting in his lap. When you situate yourself in his lap, he seems a bit starstruck, as if he wasn’t expecting this to happen—like, ever.
“Y/N…” Doyoung’s voice is surprisingly soft, like the day you revealed your feelings for each other. It’s a noticeable departure from his usual demeanor. He blinks at you for a couple moments.
“What?” you say innocently, copying his actions and blinking back at him.
Doyoung swipes his tongue across his lips, though it’s more of a nervous gesture than anything else. “You’re...you know.”
You chuckle. “‘You know’? Let’s use our words.”
“You’re, uh...s-soft,” is what he stammers out, like it was the only thing he could think of at the last minute.
“And you should be hard, but you’re not yet. So let’s fix that. If you want to?” You quickly tack the last sentence on, trying to give him an out if he really doesn’t want this. However, the hands that suddenly go to your hips make you think otherwise.
“Do it, then.” He provokes you, trying to regain his usual confidence, though it still comes out less forceful than intended.
You bring your hand to his crotch and palm him over his pants, and Doyoung takes a deep breath. You bring your lips to his, kissing him deeply and adding to the pleasant feeling. He kisses you back eagerly, flexing his hands on your hips and gripping you more tightly. You end up making out like that for a little while, and he grows underneath your palm as you tease him.
Eventually, you want more than simply feeling him over his sweatpants and pull them down, exposing his bulge. You don’t touch him for real, not just yet; instead, you trace your finger along the shape of his dick underneath the material of his boxers. Doyoung whimpers against your lips at that touch, very quietly, but audible enough for you to hear it over the TV in the background.
“Don’t get all sensitive on me now.” You pull away from his mouth and laugh. “What happened to all that teasing you love to torture me with?” You drag his underwear down so you can release his member, which is still growing underneath your caresses. Precum is already beading at the tip, flushed with need. Doyoung looks down at your hand holding his dick and worries his lip as you begin stroking him earnestly now.
He leans his head back against the wall, and you watch his throat work as he swallows and tries to keep his sounds quiet. The soundproofing in these dorms certainly isn’t the best; the people on the other side of the wall have kept him awake enough nights to know that. The few moans he does let go are low and pretty and soft, and they fit him perfectly.
Though you are stroking him mostly for his own pleasure, you do take the time to explore his dick while you have it in your hand—running your finger over a vein that stands out against the hot skin, sliding his precum between your fingers and using it to get the rest of his shaft slick. You take your time with him, but he doesn’t seem to mind the leisurely pace.
“Do you wanna come in my hand?” you ask him, and his body tenses as you reach further down to tease his balls. Another bead of precum runs down his shaft.
“That would be a waste,” Doyoung huffs, and he shifts his leg a little so his thigh is tucked between your legs now, your heat pressing right down on him. He moves his thigh back and forth slowly across you, and you let out a long, shaky breath at the way the muscles of his leg flex and release against your clit.
“Then where do you wanna do it?” You still your movements on him for a few seconds but keep your thumb on his tip so you can tease the sensitive slit there, and another choked groan comes from him.
“T-take a guess,” he says, and pulls on your hips again so he can drag your pussy over his thigh more firmly. The friction makes you whine.
“Maybe I should just make you cum like this, since you seem more interested in making me ride your leg.” You go back to steadily stroking his cock, tightening your grip on him. His mouth drops open a little at your actions.
“Y/N,” he whispers breathlessly, and lifts one hand to pull at your sweater. “Take this off.”
“Then take yours off.” Doyoung strips his sweater off as soon as you say it and waits for you to do the same. His mouth goes to your breasts once they’re free. You grin at the pleasurable sensation and run your hand through his hair, pushing him closer to your chest. Your other hand goes back to his dick, and it twitches when you make contact. “I really think you could cum just like this, with you sucking my tits and me jerking you off. Wouldn’t you like that, Doie?”
Doyoung’s face flushes at that claim, though he doesn’t deny it. He simply keeps sucking at your nipples and leaving marks across your chest, flexing his thigh against you for added stimulation.
You want him to come first, so you spit in your hand for more lube and stroke him faster, the slick sound of your hand on his cock filling your ears. His moans are more frequent now, though he still tries to hide them; all the while, you try to pull more out of him. If the people next door know what’s going on, they’ll just have to enjoy the free entertainment.
“Y/N,” he pants against your skin, and his body tenses up more underneath you. You pull his head away from your chest so you can tuck your face into his neck, placing your lips over his beating pulse and feeling the way his muscles jump under the slight touch of your mouth.
“You don’t wanna come in my hand, right? Where do you want it, then?” You keep your lips close to his ear and slow your pace to make sure he doesn’t come too soon.
“I…um—”
“Don’t be shy now, you’re about to come, aren’t you?” You twist your hand over his tip and he groans low in his throat; the sound vibrates across your lips.
“I...in your mouth.”
You sit back to look at him, grinning devilishly. “So that’s what you like? Fine then, baby boy.” You remove yourself from his thigh, which is noticeably damp now, and position yourself between his legs with the tip of his cock pointed towards your mouth. You lean forward a bit to take the head between your lips, rubbing your tongue against the sensitive underside of it, and Doyoung comes quick with a soft cry. His cum floods over your tongue in thick, salty waves, and you keep sucking the tip until he has no more to give.
You get back onto the bed after you’ve swallowed everything, and before you know what’s happening, Doyoung has turned you on your stomach and is pulling your panties and sweatpants down in one fell swoop. “Doyoung—” Your sentence breaks when he lifts your hips up and his tongue parts your lower lips, sliding through the slickness and pushing into your hole. Your words melt into a moan as you arch your hips more to get closer to his face.
“Doyoung, y-yes, please—” You curl your fingers in the fabric of his comforter, panting harshly against the material as Doyoung dips his fingers and tongue into you like he’s starving. His tongue on your clit is maddening, circling back and forth and making your legs shake as you try to balance yourself in this position he’s tugged you into.
His fingers find what they’re looking for quickly and he teases your g-spot, thrusting into it only sometimes and leaving you wanting all the other times. In the very back of your mind, you wonder if what he said about being too studious for relationships is true, because how else would he have learned to do all this? God.
When you get close to coming, Doyoung takes some mercy on you and crooks his fingers into that soft spot more consistently now, and you cry out as you tighten around his fingers. It’s beautifully, wonderfully satisfying. The soft sounds he releases while he eats you out make you even weaker, as if he can’t hide just how turned on he is from tasting you.
Your climax hits you suddenly, and by the end of it you are laughing softly with the intoxication of how good you feel, how good he’s made you feel. When he finally pulls back from you, you let your body fully collapse against the small mattress, and Doyoung rests his head against your thigh momentarily, as if he himself is exhausted.
“I...wanted to do that for a while,” he says, and you can’t see his face but you think he must be blushing, with how sheepishly he admitted it.
It takes a bit of shuffling but you eventually end up lying side by side, stripped bare and looking up at the ceiling. The movie has long gone off, and there’s nothing but Netflix’s slideshow of new shows and movies playing on the screen now.
After a few more moments of nothing but the sound of heavy breaths, you say, “We are having round two, like right now.” 
“You’re already addicted to me, huh?” Doyoung chuckles, dragging his knuckles over your side and making your skin tingle. You smirk and throw your leg over him, and he groans at how your pussy slides over his hardening length.
“By the end of the night, you won’t be able to get enough of me.”
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