#just need some motivation aaaaa

[snail-noodle]

"my my my... what do we have here?"

you shivered in fear at the gigantic being before you. you and your cookie friends had tried your best to seal the rift in the tree with white lily cookie. however, your actions proved pointless. white lily cookie's powers were still too weak and your time had run out. you all watched in horror at the towering cookie grinning down from above.

"it's been so long since we've seen new faces! we were starting to get bored being by ourselves in here..." shadow milk cookie smirked as he took a look at each cookie standing before him. when his eyes had reached you, his gaze stayed far more longer on you than the others. you trembled from his piercing stare, a small whimper escaping from your lips as you backed away and hid yourself behind pure vanilla cookie.

shadow milk cookie chortled at the pathetic display. "Oh, how I have missed the faces of fear from you cookies! Never gets old!" now that the rift had opened big enough for him to pass through, shadow milk cookie stepped out of the silver tree that had kept him and the others imprisoned for so long. the smaller cookies screamed in terror as they scrambled to get out of his way. every footstep he took practically shook the earthbread beneath their feet.

"pure vanilla cookie!" fear clouded your mind as you tugged your leader's arm in desperation. "what are we going to do?!" anxiety gripped your heart when he hesitated to think of a solution. one of the most powerful beings in all of cookiekind has just been unleashed and is ready to bring chaos to the world once more. just how on earthbread will any cookie be able to stop such beasts?

before pure vanilla cookie could even think of an answer, you cried out in alarm as you were suddenly lifted into the air. the other cookies screamed your name as you watched their forms grow smaller and smaller. you gasped as you were face to face with the grinning jester.

"what a cute little cookie you are." he eagerly examined you as if he were a child that had been given a new toy, turning you this way and that. "it's been ages since i had a little pet to dote on. you'll make a fine addition to my collection!" your mind raced as you tried to understand what you have just heard. a collection? a pet to dote on? what on-?!

your thoughts were interrupted as you heard a snap of... fingers? confused, you found yourself locked inside some sort of bird cage; the bars were thick enough to keep you from escaping. shadow milk cookie cooed as he watched you attempt to break free. "no-!" you tugged and pulled at the bars keeping you in.

"no! y-you can't keep me in here! Please!" you cried out to him in desperation. shadow milk cookie only giggled and shook his head, "ah, ah, ah! you're staying right by my side, my little cookie." you shuddered in fear as he began to summon his powers once more. shadows seeped out from your surroundings and from his body. multiple cold blue eyes stared at you and the cookies still down below.

"now, my dear..." with a clap of his hands, monsters of every kind stepped out from the shadows, ready to obey their master. with a manic grin, shadow milk cookie spread his arms out in grandeur to the cookies below. with a perfect view from above, you could only watch in horror as your friends were surrounded at every side by monsters of different sizes.

"let the show begin!"

[jester-w-n0n4m3]

Chat... What if I drew my pokemon violet character, and then decided to write them as being aware of the player controlling them-

Chat- CHAT I THINK I MAY BE COOKING SOME GOOD OLD ANGST MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH/sil

[seeminglyseph]

"Arrests require cause."

Bitch *you* let her instigate martial law! Through your power! What did you think that meant?!

That's literally the purpose of putting martial law in place. To be able to let the government do whatever police and military shit to its people without cause. It removes the rights of the civilians because it views those civilians as the enemy of The People.

You let hating Jinx make you forget what words mean, Caitlyn. I get it, grief does terrible things to a person, and Ambessa is a very compelling public speaker, but like. She said out loud: "Let's do Martial Law."

[merakiui]

Jock floyd who's name has been ran thru the streets ragged, but he's actually a little virgin otaku who needs to keep up his cool persona because otherwise all his 'flirty' actions will be seen as creepy. He doesn't want sports and alcohol, he wants mersex and breeding and keeping you locked up and and and

Can also be turned the vulnerability way where everyone assumes he's a player because he's playful but he's actually yearning and longing and sensitive, using avoidance tactics (Cater kin) and he's down bad in love with reader since childhood because she doesn't treat him based on assumptions and he feels like he can be nerdy ol floyb when he's with her <3

VIRGIN NERD OTAKU FLOYB!!!!!! OMG........ on the outside, he's that loud jock who everyone thinks sleeps around like a sex addict, but the truth is that he's a gross closet pervert who has never even held hands,,,,,, oh, that's so delicious. orz he's got everyone fooled with the persona he puts up. While everyone is spreading rumors about how he definitely fucked that one basketball team cheerleader, he's busy jerking it to hentai and imagining you in those scenes. AAAAA HE'S A LOSER!!!!!! <3

Floyb who normally wears contacts, but he tends to lose those and so he goes out into the world with blurry vision because putting on his glasses would decrease his cool guy aura. T_T he wears his glasses when he's alone, though. One day he overheard you say glasses are cool and since then he's been dying to fuck you with them on so you can tell him he looks cool. orz orz he's so desperate and wants you like you're the air he breathes. He can't talk to you as Floyd. He has to talk to you as the (supposed) fuck-boy jock with the crazy-high libido and flirty tongue. >_<

The "dumb jock" trope, but Floyd's actually super smart and does well in his classes. It's just when lack of motivation or bad mood hits that his grades suffer, but he's a very brilliant student. Hehe nerdy Floyb looking up all the ways to pleasure you and practicing on his onahole how to finger like an expert.

Everyone on the basketball team has their usual locker room talk before and after practice. Some of them brag about the flings they've recently had. Floyd doesn't really care about any of that because last night he came to the thought of knocking you up, and if anyone knew the types of fantasies he's had regarding you,,,, the viewpoint would change. It's not like he truly cares what others think of him, whether it's true or false, but he does want to give you a good impression of himself. He loves you the most, after all. Everyone else might as well be ghosts.

[thewertsearch]

AC: :33 < sorry to bother you again! AC: :33 < is AC: :33 < um [...] AC: :33 < he available? [...] TT: What is the name of this mystery fellow you seek? AC: :33 < aaaaa youre just teasing me now! AC: :33 < i f33l bad about bugging you about it [...] AC: :33 < i miss pounce a lot :(( AC: :33 < and talking to him reminds me of her

Aw, Nepeta. :(

Still, there are ways to solve this. Maybe Rose could give her the code for Jaspersprite's pendant - or just give him his own computer, like Davesprite's iShades.

You won't need it anymore. It served you well. You suppose there are a lot of things you've outgrown, now that you think about it.

...his own computer, Rose! I said his own computer!

Rose is abandoning her primary communication device. Obviously she has others, but her attitude here is still making me nervous - especially considering how heavy-handed her phrasing is.

Who or what do you think you've outgrown, Rose?

JASPERSPRITE: Did you learn to play the rain rose? ROSE: Not yet, Jaspers. ROSE: It's a little complicated, but I believe I've embarked on another quest, one which surpasses the scope of the objectives local to this planet.

I'm on record as being fully on board with Rose's skepticism about her Quest - but she should be equally skeptical about her new quest. Both are sponsored by suspicious entities with unclear motives, and I'm not sold on either of them.

ROSE: I'm saying there's something more important to accomplish now. Something more important than creating a universe. JASPERSPRITE: Oh thats ok rose i wouldnt want you to feel obligated to do that.

That's a strange sentiment, coming from Jaspers. Sprites generally echo the game's expectations for its Players, so it's odd that a game centered around fate, destiny and temporal obligation would tell Rose that her ultimate goal is optional. After all, she was made to create a universe.

Maybe Jaspers just loves Rose so much that he's on board with her rebellion, even though he doesn't understand it.

JASPERSPRITE: I think that winning this game and getting the prize is up to you and your friends. JASPERSPRITE: You get to decide whether or not you feel its right to do that and what kind of prize you want to make!

Is Jaspers implying that Sburb's prize doesn't have to be a universe? That winning the game can mean something else, instead?

Rose thinks her only options are to submit to the game's whims, or fight it tooth and nail. Perhaps that's a false dichotomy, and it's possible to fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum - some sort of alternate win condition that saves their doomed session.

Perhaps the game has recognized that Rose is a renegade, and it's trying to show her that things aren't so black and white. Maybe Sburb is signaling that it's willing to negotiate.

JASPERSPRITE: Its part of becoming who youre supposed to become i think.

Damn it! Just as I'm starting to wonder if Sburb is more flexible than we thought, it tosses this line at us.

I don't like this sentiment. It stinks of Alpha, and it's exactly the kind of thing that will piss Rose off. She's rebelling against what she perceives to be her destiny - the last thing she wants to hear is that there's someone she's 'supposed' to become.

JASPERSPRITE: I dont know i hope im not being too pushy rose its not my place to be im just your cat! JASPERSPRITE: But the thing that made me how i am now seems to really want me to say this to you. JASPERSPRITE: Your quest is really important for you to do. JASPERSPRITE: Not really because thats how to get the prize. JASPERSPRITE: But because its what you need to do for yourself!

This isn't about the universe, says Sburb.

This is totally bizarre. I thought it was all about the universe, and the game's Players were just the mechanism for creating them. Even the Quests are just extended tutorials on how to terraform planets.

Do the Players have another role to play?

JASPERSPRITE: I love you rose! I always have even when you were a little girl and i was an alive cat. ROSE: Thanks, Jaspers, that's nice to hear. ROSE: It's hard to remember, but I'm pretty sure I felt the same way back then. JASPERSPRITE: It was fun getting to be your cat again rose even if it was just for a little while and also while being a princess ghost. JASPERSPRITE: Bye rose! ROSE: See you, Jaspers! ROSE: If you see my mother in the course of your travels, tell her I said hello.

Alright, let's hit the pause button on the lore speculation. I need to grab some tissues :'(

[cowboymantis]

I am having so so so many feelings about Infinite Wealth and I've just been spamming my friend with essays about my overanalyzing brain that obsesses over every single detail in media I am obsessed with,, BUT THIS GAME IS JUST SO FULL OF OPPORTUNITIES FOR IT AAAAA!!!

I just wanna note some longer thoughts down, because I need somewhere to collect some of them,,,,

So yeah, uh, obviously:

LIKE A DRAGON INFINITE WEALTH SPOILERS

(any Yakuza game really, but this is the most recent one, so more likely that people haven't played that yet)

Number 1:

So first of all, Kiryu's parts are, because of the bucket list stuff, very focused on the past. He's trying to tie up loose ends, in his own way and how much he is actually able to do with the Daidoji restrictions.

So I think it was really fitting that he was the one fighting Ebina. In a way it felt like him fighting his past and trying to turn it around.

Now what do I mean by that? Let's start from an earlier point.

Basically, the game is a bit like a mirror to Kiwami in some ways.

Lani is like Haruka, hunted down by several groups of people and they even talk about this similarity being Kiryu's leading factor of motivation in helping her. I mean, there's also different mafias and a whole government conspiracy. But I mean, nothing new in a Yakuza game, but just one more thing added on top of it all.

Where it really starts to show and made me think "Ohhh...wait a second" is when Ebina held his speech about his past. Ebina and Ichiban, even though they didn't grow up together like them, are so similar to Kiryu and Nishiki. One being the Yakuza boss Arakawa's "favourite child", who also idolizes him, and the other one grows to hate him.

And I think this is also the moment where Kiryu realizes "Oh no...history is repeating itself again, isn't it..."

So at the end of the fight, when he actually breaks out in tears and begs for no one to die, it feels like all those deaths he couldn't prevent over all those years, good or bad people, just make him completely break down and he just wants this endless cycle to finally end.

Before the game came out, RGG and actors, in some occasions pointed out how this was a happier game. It makes you feel like looking up instead of being sad.

And while I was playing, I often just felt "Bruh, they lied to us. This game is so sad???", but after I then finished the game, I just sat there and felt such a big relief, the ending just was honestly perfect (well, I mean the cliff hanger was awful jddhd). But then later, it also made me think yeah, this is kind of like a positive version of Kiwami, isn't it? It just feels like it's in a way Kiryu's tying up loose ends with Kiwami's happenings. Fighting his past, finally getting over it in a way.

I thought more about this when I listened to Ebinas boss theme again, because one part has those bells(?) And they sound so much like in For Whose Sake. And then I thought back to the ending more and realized that the whole buildup of it was so much like Kiwami too!

In the finale, first you fight [Villain], who is also the main culprit behind a big government conspiracy. He has helpers with him, and attacks with a gun/guns.

At first you only fight the helpers, then him together with those helpers.

The music is intense and dreadful, everything feels really epic.

Then, after that fight, it goes to the REAL final boss fight. Inside a room, high up on the Millennium Tower, you fight him. Both Nishiki and Ebina are so similar already in their own ways. And the fight is more personal, with emotion behind it. Just that it ends with Nishiki killing himself, but Ebina, while he basically begs for Kiryu to kill him, survives.

The music during the fight has it's ups and downs (intensity-wise) and manages to feel both melancholic and relaxing, as much as they hype you up.

So yeah, it's all such a direct mirror up to the point how it ends. And Kiryu was trying his hardest to prevent things from happening again.

There are often similar themes and plots throughout Yakuza, makes sense, such a long running series, but I think in this particular case it's just so very fitting and it's just SO similar and fits the reflection and fix-it theme of Kiryu's part of the story so well. Especially with how Kiryu's tragic story all started with Yakuza 1 (going by release), still haunting him through every game with constant flashbacks, and now it ends with a story so similar.

Or well, let's hope so, I just want Kiryu to finally rest bruh 😭😭

Number 2:

"Rupture". The name of Hanawa's theme in Gaiden.

Just blatantly taking dictionary definitions here, but there are two ways the word "Rupture" works:

1) (especially of a pipe or container, or bodily part such as an organ or membrane) break or burst suddenly.

"If the main artery ruptures, he could die"

2) breach or disturb (a harmonious feeling or situation).

"Once trust and confidence have been ruptured, it can be difficult to regain"

Keeping that in mind, moving on.

Maybe listen to Hanawa's battle theme for this one, to really visualize it.

Now, whenever I put on the good ol' Gaiden All Boss Battle Themes video, whenever Hanawa's theme came on, I thought wow, this song is really completely different, huh.

But the nature of the song felt quite fitting for a character like Hanawa.

It starts of dark, mysterious, there's a sadness to it. Just like Kiryu now, he has been a man who once "died" and has since then been forced to live in the shadows, his every move being controlled by others. He's like a bird trapped inside a cage.

Then, the song picks up, becomes more intense.

Hanawa's internal struggle and his fight with Kiryu.

When you fight him, the whole scene around it honestly, is like the bird trying to escape this cage. And while nothing that happened was really "real", as in, no fatalaties would've happened because it was all a test, it did feel real for Hanawa and Kiryu. Now looking at the second definition for rupture, it's just like here, on a way more emotional level. And all so sudden. And this is the beginning of him being more and more risky when it comes to the Daidoji, and he keeps on helping Kiryu more than he should, its like his rebellion.

In Infinite Wealth, during the raid on the safe house, it was also all so sudden. It all happened so fast.

The music is picking up. It's nearing the end of the song, and everything becomes so loud and overwhelming - Hanawa suddenly gets shot and dies - then immediately after the wild and short final buildup, silence again. It's a slow, quiet somber tune, like at the beginning of the song, but now fading out... And Hanawa is declared dead.

The sudden rupture lead to immediate casualty, physical this time.

I'm sorry, I DON'T KNOW WHY I MAKE MYSELF SO MUCH SADDER OVER THIS SCENE. But come on, it's just... so perfect, right? 😭😭😭😭

I miss Hanawa so much man. I was really pissed that this is the way they let him go, but just now, after listening to his theme again for the first time since I even started Infinite Wealth, it felt like it just all made sense now. It just clicked. His theme is like a visualisation of his whole story throughout the games.

And it's honestly, sadly perfect. The composers for the Yakuza games are honestly such geniuses. Bringing out some of the best songs ever constantly and making them just feel so fitting for everything.

But yeah. Regardless of if this was meant to be interpreted similiary or not, it just kind of adds to it all for me personally. Especially since you could now maybe see his theme in Gaiden as a bit of secret foreshadowing?

I'd like to see it that way. And maybe, seeing a bit more importance in it all is what helps me to cope with his godawful death scene, RGG what were you thinking man 🥲🥲🥲

Number 3:

Eiji.

Oh boy. Uh, I don't really know yet what the general opinion on this pathetic wet cat (affectionate) is, but I really loved this character. In both a "you're such a damn loser" and "my poor little meow meow :(" way :'D

But most importantly, what I wanna focus on to follow the (over)analyzing theme: Eiji is like a mirror of Masato.

Now, Kiryu has his Kiwami mirror in his finale and Ichiban also has one. But I think this one is way more obvious and also very ironic.

Eiji starts off with trying to earn Ichibans trust and well- it immediately works, of course, it's Ichiban! But the tactic he uses for it, faking being disabled and needing a wheelchair. It was the perfect way to make Ichiban pay attention to him first, because it would remind him of Masato. I think Ichiban immediately just started to get attached to Eiji, and now I'm thinking that Eiji was probably a bit conflicted before he turned his back on him. But his deep rooted hatred was too strong for one nice interaction with a Yakuza, something he demonized, to stop him.

I think it was kind of funny how he was basically like "You're so evil, you Yakuza will NEVER be good people!!! See how good I am while I throw down this child tied to a wheelchair, down those stairs while holding a bomb!!! That'll sure show you evil Yakuza!!!"

Ah. He's so stupid 😭

And yet, whatever happened, Ichiban just constantly called him "Ei-chan", like he's still his bestie and everything is fine. Constantly protesting against it, Eiji probably felt more and more conflicted, because Ichiban is just such a big (and naive) sweetheart. (((Side note: What's not to love about him fr 😭😭)))

So by the finale, and after Eiji had time to say how much he HATED the Yakuza and also, y'know. The whole Bleach Japan thing. Kinda like someone else, hm? Someone else Ichiban constantly insisted on treating like a friend.

But Ichiban convinced him to just turn himself him, turn his life around. Just like he eventually managed to convinced Masato through blood and tears.

And the ending scene is literally an exact mirror to Yakuza 7. Ichiban carrying someone away...

Just in Yakuza 7, it is Masato, dying in his arms, and in Infinite Wealth, it is Eiji, and he's trying his hardest so he will get out of this completely unharmed, throwing himself in front of every danger facing them, getting beat up until he passes out by the end.

You could say this too, is like a good version of another game's ending, with a character mirroring a brother-like person to the main character.

Quite ironic how Eiji started off "imitating" Masato, only to end up like him. Just that one died and one lived.

And just like Kiryu did with Ebina, Ichiban tried his hardest to stop history from repeating itself. Stop more people dying again and again.

The logo having an Infinity symbol seems oddly fitting now, you could say each circle of the symbol is Kiryu and Ichiban, and their stories are intervined in certain ways. Just that their stopped the "infinite" circle from repeating once again.

Or...something like that. I'm trying to sound smart at 5 am, I need sleep I think 😭

[idv-sunsxin3]

HELLOO 🌻🌻🌻 I want to say that im really love your works especially Rusen Rosehearts who was Riddle twins, THEY/HE WAS SO SWEET AAAAA😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ definitely gonna take him to date /hj

I follow you in my other accound but sadly im forget my password tehe and im really happy to find your blog again🌻

Honestly im Curious what Rusen relationship with other Heartslabyul student like Trey, Cater, Deuce and Ace and what their first impression to Rusen?

Maybe you can make a HC or scenario about them🤔

If its bother you or making you uncomfortable, you can Ignore this!

Have a good day!🌻❤️

Riddle’s Twin Brother AU // Relationship with Heartslabyul

Note// most likely taken as preferably platonic- Thank you for liking this concept, he’d be nice enough to have fun with you, well, if his brother lets you heheheheh 🤔🤭✨ so glad that you found me tho, sorry for replying very late;; 🥺🌸

———

Trey

He most likely knows Rusen not long after he encountered little Riddle when they were kids. Riddle and Rusen are inseparable even currently, it becomes pretty normal to see the other twin around as time passes.

He honestly appreciates a lot the company Rusen offers, who often tends to walk around the dorm and often bumps into Trey at the kitchen. Ending up asking if he can help the 3rd year with the baking duty, cleaning the kitchen and utensils, preparing the table- Trey finds Rusen a “good boy”, who deserves some headpats <333

There is always this cute silly dynamic between them, they were not so talkative when they were little at first because they were kinda just “friends by association” and the one who brings the bridge to the reason why they hang out together was Riddle- but aftermath and today, they started to get closer and gotten to know each other. Sharing the common fact that they have this unconditional love and care towards Riddle, who is like a brother to them.

Rusen honestly knows how to bake more than cooking,,, so the soup he once made for Trey didn’t turned out as he planned/lh yet Trey still ate it and complimented it, giving some fair feedback with a smile that brightens Rusen’s motivation to improve 🥺😭

Rusen has the habit of ruffling Trey’s hair whenever he gets flour on it- Trey finds it pretty cute that someone so short likes to look after him too;;; Imagine Riddle’s lab coat card, like the twins probably tries to look after Trey who was having a fever at that time- it was pretty problematic but the 3rd year still appreciated their effort djdjjddj

Cater

Not gonna lie, he didn’t expect Riddle to have a twin- one that kinda acts like his shadow.

It was a bit fascinating how he didn’t get to learn that sooner until the curtains slide open, revealing Rusen who happened to stand beside Riddle’s throne this whole time by the time it was the second meeting at the dorm.

At first, the moment he realizes Rusen is a bit different from his brother made him want to bully him a little;;; but well, he wasn’t that foolish especially when Rusen is often seen sticking around with the housewarden who happened to be his brother- even Rusen proved himself that he’s capable to get someone to respect him, even if it’s by force after being so kind… 😇

At the end, Cater wouldn’t dare to press the other’s buttons. Instead, he’s quite glad Rusen is more open when it comes to learning the art of media.

“Spreading awareness and popularity of Heartslabyul? That sounds spectacular. Maybe it might help with funding the dorm for certain necessities-“ Rusen once comment and so on, Cater just being happy hearing him say such thoughtful things. Knowing how dedicated the red-headed is to give the Heartslabyul students everything they need. As if he’s acting like a caring little brother,,,

I like to imagine there is this silly realization thought Cater ever has, which is Rusen ever be acting as mean as Riddle. He would whine so much by the thought of it that he would even grab the poor strawberry shorty and shake him, begging him to “never change his precious heart” DJDJJDDNJEJJ-

Ace

I feel like ADeuce views Rusen as a “monk” or some kind of saint- he’s the forgiving twin unlike Riddle. Sometimes lenient, while still keeping the one-braincell duo on their toes before they do something that makes Riddle get steamy.;;;

Despite facing the same strict treatment and discipline, Rusen is the daring one out of the two twins. Bending rules and making some mischief in his younger days and successfully hiding evidence before ever being suspected… He smoothly even covers Ace’s mess at certain times if he finds that necessary too, that even Trey and Riddle would buy it! Ace, after learning this, started to then view him as the “sly senior”…

Bro, for someone who is like a taller but younger brother to Rusen, there are times Ace wants to make fun of him- if only Riddle wasn’t often around to see that;;

But besides that, Rusen often forgives whenever he causes mistakes, sometimes pointing out the problems he does that he probably didn’t notice. His patience probably confused the 1st year so much;;; but slowly and surely, Ace started to understand and listens to his advice. Sometimes would come to him if he has any questions to the 2nd year twin.

Deuce

Deuce is on his knees,,, he was so confused and embarrassed the time he mistaken Rusen as Riddle- How could it get any worse???

Gets so shy after first meeting him- like he probably doubts Rusen likes to talk to him after mistaking him with another person like- it was so awfulll- but no, Rusen still smiles at him and asks him if he wants tea. What??? REALLY??? 😭🥺

Goes sad puppy whenever he gets scolded by Rusen, even if it’s gently and not meaning to degrade him- Seeing Rusen displeased makes him feel so guilty,,,

But well- now he’s crying just because Rusen was so patient to help him out with studying for a test without getting mad for failing the previous tests- this is not on his bingo list but omg;;;

Rusen-senpai has the heart of a saint <//3

Deuce deeply respects Rusen as much as he wants to devote to the dorm and the housewarden- he would even take a hit for him!!! He often feels like he owes him a lot, when in reality Rusen doesn’t have the heart to bonk people and confiscating their UM tbh;;;

He would scold Ace whenever Ace tries to get on Rusen’s nerves- he be going like ‘how dare you speak to sweetheart-senpai like that-‘/lh

[quijabored]

Spoilers for S4 and first 2 episodes of S5

Im gonna try to not make this very long because I'm going through a what the fuck moment and I do not know how to process this :D (Finished the second episode and immediately went to Tumblr)

(Spoilers, this is very long ✌️)

With that being said

WHAT THE FUCK???

OKAY UH, I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START CUZ LIKE

AAAAAA????

OKAY

OKAY UH

KENJI

HES BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH, GOT STABBED THROUGH THE STOMACH TWICE AND THEN GOT JUST HORRENDOUSLY HURT

LIKE MY POOR BOY

YOSANOS BACKSTORY?? I LOVE IT SO MUCH HOLY SHIT

I HATE MORI SO MUCH

And with my undying hatred for Mori, I can also say he seems incredibly interesting.

I hate that I want to know more about him and I absolutely will, BUT FUCK

Then there was the Agency being split us and-

AAGGHHH IM CRYINGGGG

Not actually, but God damn it I was on the verge of sobbing so many times-

I love this series so much but how the fuck am I supposed to process this-??

ALSO TACHIHARA BEING THE FIFTH GUY LIKE??? AAAA???

I actually hate Fyodor so much oh my god (I want him)

SPEAKING OF FYODOR

SIGMA????

I MET HIM AND LIKE HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY I LOVE HOW DESPERSTE HE IS AND I FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE 3 YEARS OLD THING AND JUST AKSKDHJS

ALSO

ATSUSHI HELPING OUT YET ANOTHER PERSON JS LIKE HE DID TO KYOKA?? LIVE LAUGH ATSUSHI BRO HES SO SILLY

AND THEN WHEN HE WAS FALLING OFF THE SKY CASINO I WAS SITTING THERE LIKE WHAT THE FUCK??

I KNEW HE SHOWED UP LATER CUZ OF CLIPS BUT FOR SOME REASON IT JS DIDNT PROCESS AND I WAS GENUINELY ABOUT TO CRY

And then Nikolai saved him :D

LIVE LAUGH NIKOLAI BRO HES SO SILLY

Hes just like me fr except I'm not a Ukranian terrorist :3

ALSO I LOVE TACHIHARA SO MUCH I JUST AAAGHHHHH

JOUNOS KIND OF A BITCH (Ive already signed the adoption papers, I love him so much he seems really interesting-)

AND MY BBG TETCHOU???

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE SEEMS SO SILLY AND EVEN IF HE HASNT HAD MUCH SCREEN TIME I JUST AAAGHHHH

Also fuck Fukuchi

LIKE I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST A SILLY GUY

"Now I just have to hope no one becomes a character I absolutely despise :3"

YEAH NO I WAS WRONG CUZ WTF

And then during the whole scene where he was talking with Ranpo and he was like "the president trusts you, so do I."

AT THAT POINT IT KINDA CLICKED AND I WAS LIKE "Oh shit its Fukuchi isnt it."

BUT THEN I HAD NOTHING TO GO OFF OF AND I DIDNT WANNA SIT AND THINK IN THE MIDDLE OF A VERY IMPORTANT EPISODE

OH BEFORE I START YAPPING ABOUT THAT

RANPO JUST ABSOLUTELY SAVING EVERYONE??? I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OH MY GOD HE JUST LIKE ME FR

AAAAAA AND THEN THE WAY HE TALKS ABOUT FUKUZAWA LIKE AAGHH THEYRE FAMILY :(

AAAA AND THEN POE BEING THERE LIKE AKSHAKJDS SEEING MY SON IN A SUIT WAS SO SILLY ITS LIKE WATCHING YOUR CHILDREN GO OFF TO PROM OR A WEDDING I THINK-

AND THEN POE BEING SUPER HAPPY ABOUT HELPING AND RANPO PUSHING HIM ASIDE PLEASE I LOVE THEM

ANYWAYS BACK TO FUKUCHI

THEN RANPO STARTED EXPLAINING ALL THE EVIDENCE AND I SAT THERE AND I WAS TRYING SO DAMN HARD TO BE LIKE "Pshhhh- No waayy Fukuchis actually a really really really bad person right??"

AND THEN HE WAS

I HATE THIS SHOW SO MUCH (I dont I love this show it has been my hyperfixation for so long please help I have dreams about bsd this is just like my Danganronpa phase oh dear god-)

AAAAA NO BUT GOD DAMN IT I NEED TO STAB FUKUCHI

ITS REALLY WEIRD CUZ I LIVE LAUGH FYODOR BUT FUKUCHI JUST MAKES ME UPSET

If he doesnt have a good motive Im actually crying, though I get that not all characters are supposed to be redeemable, I just got really attached to Fukuchi really fast and seeing him yap was super silly :(

Fyodor works a lot differently than Fukuchi and I really really do love Fyodor-

Also Nikolai saying he's gonna kill Fyodor? Genuinely wonder if he's even capable of that cuz his ability is able to catch you off guard, but Fyodors such an incredibly silly guy and I wouldn't be surprised if he was able to stop anything from Nikolai

Not only an assassination attempt (Even though I doubt Nikolai would get very far with that-) legit something as simple as trying to scare him-

Also Fyodor understanding Nikolai? Dear gods I love them so much they make me wanna tear out my soul-

Making a little fanart for them and while I'm not sure if I'm actually gonna share it, they are very adorable in their own odd way

Back to the casino scenes, while I absolutely adore Tetchou and Jouno, TEROKUS JUST SO SILLY

PLEASE I LOVE HER SO MUCH I HOPE WE GET TO SEE MORE OF HER EVWN IF SHE DOESNT SEEM VERY RELIVANT TO THE PLOT WHERE IM AT RN

AAAAAA ALSO, S5 EP2 ENDS WITH AKUTAGAWA BEING ON THE SHIP AND AHDKAHSKS

SHIN SOUKOKU CANON EVERYONE

I HAVE BEEN DESPERATELY STARVED OF AKUTAGAWA CONTENT FOR A LITTLE BIT SO SEEING HIM MAKES ME SO HAPPY

AND SEEING HIM WITH ATSUSHI??? EVEN HAPPIER, I KNOW THEYRE GONNA DO A BIG FIGHT TOGETHER AND ITS LIKE AAAA THEYRE WORKING TOGETHER WILLINGLY NOW!! (Kiiind of)

LIVE LAUGH LOVE BSD BUT DEAR GOD ITS MAKING ME GO INSANE

AND BEFORE I FORGET YET AGAIN, I LOVE SEEING ODASAKU MEAN SO MUCH TO DAZAI AND ANGO LIKE AHHHH THIS SERIES MAKES ME SO UPSET IN A GOOD WAY

AND MUSHITARO MAKES ME GO YIPPEE PLEASE I LOVE HIS CHARACTER SO MUCH

ALSO DAZAI BEING ABLE TO CONTROL HIS HEARTBEAT?? WHAT CAN HE *NOT* DO????

And why the fuck does the sky casino look like a beyblade like I love him but someone's gotta get him into an exterior design class

THE INTERIOR DESIGN THOUGH, PLEASE I LOVE IT ITS SO BRETTY LIKE LET ME GO THERE

Just searched up Beyblade to make sure I got the spelling right and what do you mean there's a hello kitty beyblade give it to me

Also Sigma just panicking for half the episode is so fucking relatable

OH ALSO

THE WAY HOW HE SEEMS SO DEVOTED AND LOYAL TO THE SKY CASINO?? I LOVE HIM HE MAKES ME SO SAD

I can't remember if I already mentioned I have adopted him but I have ✌️

He's so silly after I finish my Akutagawa and Fyodor obsession plus actually finish the story (or at least whats written right now) I'm focusing entirely on him

Okay maybe my Aku and Fyodor obsession won't ever subside but if it doesn't I'm making space for him in there-

Live laugh Nikolai I know I haven't mentioned him too much but he's such a silly character and he makes me happy-

AAAA ALSO FUKUCHI HAVING THE PAGE LIKE IM GONNA EAT THAT DAMN PAPER JUST LET THE ADA LIVE IN PEACE-

ALSO GOT SO SCARED WHEN GIN WAS STABBED, GENUINELY THOUGHT SHE WASNT GONNA MAKE IT

Okay I think that's enough yapping for today, might watch another episode might not, but either ways I'm dreaming about it again ✌️

ALSO WHEN I SWITCH TO THE MANGA SINCE S6 ISNT THERE CUZ YK NOT MUCH CONTENT TO WORK OFF OF YET, IM GONNA BE FROTHING AT THE MOUTH EVERY DAMN MONTH FOR NEW BSD CHAPTERS

AHHH I HEARD THAT THERES A NEW CHAPTER RELEASED AROUND EVERY MONTH AND ITS LIKE YK WHAT GET THAT COIN ASAGIRI, ILL WAIT AS LONG AS I NEED

Okay kinda unrelated but I love lucid dreaming so much like what do you mean I can bend reality at my will to make an episode of bsd that shows Fyolai being canon and adopting 3 cats

GOD I CANT WAIT TO BUY THE MANGA (I have to actually save up tho so I gotta wait a bit longer ✌️)

I know I could just find pdf files online but I js really really like reading physically so uh ill get to pdf reading when I get desperate 😋

[credulouscanidae]

not to sound like an influencer doing a sponsorship but man....hello/fresh has saved my life the last month

ive been giving it a go, and while the novelty has worn off a bit and im still battling some degree of executive dysfunction with cooking...i cannot even BEGIN to explain just how much it's helping me right now

i think the reason it works so well for me personally is that it eliminates every single hurdle i face when cooking. i get really overwhelmed at buying ingredients that may need to be used more than once (sauces, flavours etc) cuz i cant...plan out what meals i could use them for before they expire/perish.

also the idea of measuring things out, doing a lot of prep work and knowing exactly what to do adds to those little head blocks and it piles up to a feeling of impossibility etc.i waste so much money on perishables that expire and it's :/

so having pre-portioned ingredients, everything you have is what you need, has honestly given a spark back into cooking for me.

and i feel silly that i need this right now, cuz i should "just be able to cook" because i CAN cook. but the reality is that my depression and neurodivergence is quite uhhhhh life impacting at the moment. and ive gained so much weight, felt physically unhealthy/tired etc because i was at a stage where i could eat frozen pizzas and chips+pie or 2 min noodles every night. i started to crave fresh veggies and salads so badly, but i never bought them cuz they kept going off and theyre also very expensive ingredients for what they give me. same goes for flavours, where it can cost a lot for a bottle when you dont know if youre gonna finish it in time or like it etc, so you are less motivated to experiment with new flavours

this has been years and years of trying to eat better more consistently, and it seems that HF is finally something that is actually working for me.

a downside is that sometimes the cooking method is a bit inaccurate, but i also luckily have enough cooking skill to recognise and adapt it, so a lot of the cons to it hasnt been a dealbreaker for me yet.

again, ive probably just been riding some kinda high and man. i still feel extremely mentally ill lol, but i can feel the difference that a month of eating better has done for me. ive lost weight, have more energy, saved money (the meals are for 2 people so i get leftovers or 2 nights worth of food) and yeah....

i know this all sounds silly but even if it didnt save much money, i would pay that adhd tax because it's honestly changed my life for the better. not to mention ive also felt inspired to cook and i get to try new flavours which has also been cool! im not eating the same crap every night anymore.

just thought id...idk post some positivity for a change aaaaa

[eldritch-spouse]

hi pinnie i really like your art and was wondering if you had any art tips?? especially with anatomy and colours? thanks :)

Aaaaa, thenk you!! I'm glad you do. <:7

I don't think I can give you many tips, anon. Honestly, I'm a total idiot just trying different things all the time. Especially not regarding anatomy, you can see my style involves intentional distortions of it and ridiculous exaggerations in some levels... Because I'm not good at genuine realistic anatomy, so I kind of lean into the crazy. Most people say you need to understand proper anatomy before you can start to stylize it, and that's probably true, but I don't respect it at all lmao.

Colors... I hate the coloring process. My advice is to constantly play with values if you're drawing digitally. Be careful with saturation, with foreground and background, pay attention to where people will focus their gaze, I'm not too sure what to tell you given this ask is a little vague.

My biggest piece of "advice" is to have a reliable way to study poses, and, for morale, to make your own brushes. Really, drawing with brushes that I made makes my motivation skyrocket. Keep changing shit up, keep trying new things, don't let yourself burnout.

[corvusblackk]

some things that are happening rn 🦈 (since i’m not posting anymore, just wanted to generally update again, and maybe you guys can suggest some topics that i can cover)

i still have to channel my subconscious, i wanted to ask them what are my blockages now but i procrastinate bc i have zero motivation, i really need something to make me wanna do it.

i think there’s a trickster impersonating my deities and that is taking my energy. i started having nightmares (which is unusual for me now), my tarot cards are very confusing and opposing each other and giving me lots of negative cards and usually the devil is always there, then i have this strange feeling that i am not talking to my deities, and i feel kind of drained and unmotivated. this started when duchess astarte (astaroth) reached out to me so i’m not sure what to think. i’ll have to banish it if it keeps going this way.

i always had this feeling that i have a curse on me because of so many reasons, then i looked on the internet what are the signs and i find myself in literally everything. so i did a reading and i got confirmation which was not surprising, apparently it was an ex friend of mine that did it intentionally but i have no idea who that is. i asked astarte if she could help me and she accepted so i did a spell to remove the curse and be protected, which i think will work soon, i feel like i just have to wait a bit.

my current dr is still marauders/hogwarts but i’m feeling really nostalgic of my avatar dr, that place felt like home like no other dr i shifted to. i will probably shift there in summer or even spring since those seasons reminds me so much of pandora. can’t wait :(

i’m still manifesting my ideal life. i made a vision board and a script with a list of things i want, and i’m trying to keep a wish fulfilled state. i’m still luckily in a “god” mentality such as that i know i’m the creator of this reality, so it’s pretty easy for me to ignore the 3d now. it’s just that sometimes i still feel somewhat anxious that “what if i won’t manifest this?” which is normal, but i try to keep the right mindset. plus all of my deities are really hyping me up telling me that if i really just persist this time i will totally manifest it all in no time, i’m basically already there, and they seem so sure about this and i am too ;)

IM GOING TO THAILAND IN FEBRUARY AAAAA, i’m so excited bro istg i really am looking forward to this. i’ll be staying for two weeks so for that period of time (9th feb to around the 23rd) i won’t post anything, but it’s not really sure i mean maybe if i have some news or new ideas and i have free time then i might post, who knows.

i think there’s definitely more to say but i don’t know what so i’ll stop here. have a good day :)

[definitelynotshouting]

WAHOO im back part 3 :))) i reread the chapter

-☀️

"“Not like that, that’s for sure,” Grian says, and it bites, singing through the air with cruel finality. He can’t stop the way each syllable sharpens as he speaks. “So when I tell you I’m dying, maybe you should believe me.”"

- he's happy that when they are hurt by what he does/says at least he has control over this time. He's still keeping secrets. It's not until later that grian loses the upper hand he has keeping the way Watchers work a secret. Right now the others don't know what options they have, meaning that Grian can let himself die and there's nothing they can do about it. It's self destructive but he's smug about that, in a 'hahah im going to do this thing and theres nothing you can do about it' kind of way except the 'thing' is dying. He needs sooo much therapy

-☀️

"Despite everything, the day Grian was kicked from Hermitcraft, Scar had still watched him like someone he knew. Now, he stares at Grian as if he’s never seen him before."

- Before, Scar knew they didnt have all the pieces to the puzzle. He knew Grian creating the game wasnt as simple as it seemed, he knew there was something greater at play. Later, he says "that's just not your style...I never believed you would. Not even for a second". Now that all the cards are on the table, Scar can't comprehend how there was so much he missed. He knew that just before mcc and before the games Grian gets tired. He didnt know why. Theres so much Grian kept from everyone, and Scar slowly piecing it together only to realise just how much pressure has been on Grian's shoulders, how much emotional weight he must be carrying. I can only imagine how much of this Scar reads on Grian's face in this moment

-☀️

"Scar’s voice takes on an awed note— as if the simple act of slipping past Grian's defenses for the missing puzzle pieces changes anything between them. Soft as drifting snow, he whispers, “And that's why you won't let us help.”"

- blows you up with mind

- It does change something!! Scar now understands- to some extent at least- WHY grian is acting the way he is. GRIAN doesnt think this changes anything. The fact that people know his motives doesnt mean they know how to stop his code from unraveling, after all. Ohoho. Grian you underestimate the hermits. Do you really not understand how insane they are!! Scar and the others are ready to do whatever they need to to stabilise grian's code and make it so Grian is able to properly live alongside all of them, SAFELY. Without fear. But Grian is so convinced he's unloveable that he cant see this

-☀️

"At any other point, his palms would be a warm, grounding weight, laced with familiar lines and calluses; now, all Grian can focus on is the inexorable tilt of his entire world's axis as it falls apart."

- this line genuinely had me throwing my phone onto my bed and putting my head in my hands.

- There is no more running. No more hiding. Grian has spent his entire time as a Watcher-disguised-as-a-player pretending and hiding the truth of his existence. But now everything is out. Everything that grian has spent years hiding because of self-hatred and disgust, thinking he is a monster beyond help or love; there is not much left for him to hide. His world is falling apart, theres no way to recover his life before, the one he oh so carefully cultivated on Hermitcraft. That life is gone.

-☀️

Aldjnskajan. I hope this makes some sense 😭 i still have another section of quotes that i copied, but ill do those tomorrow (my time) because i am sleepy :)

AAAAA I WASNT ABLE TO GET TO THIS YESTERDAY ANON BUT WAAUGHHHHHH /POS THIS IS SOOOOOO

IM SENDING YOU BEAMS THIS IS SO SWEET AND VALIDATING TYSM YOU ARE AMAZING AND I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING AN EXCELLENT DAY

[nextinline-if]

Congratulations on the new update. The chapter is wonderful, it was worth the wait!

I love our new Harbinger duties… some might call it boring, but hey this is fun! My MC was such a Sherlock about those farmers case 🕵️Reading about charities was painful, tho. Everyone needs help, and we can choose only one. How to decide?! 😭

Maximilian and the ambassador are interesting, I can't wait to see more of them in further chapters.

I still don't know what to do with F *sigh* I have totally mixed feelings about them, but it's good that we finally got to know their motives. Same with James, though he didn't say much about... And yet this: “You won’t fuck things up like I’ve managed to do.” Damn, James! Mysterious as always, huh?

You grin and gently tap the carriage wall. Timber opens one eye, then the other, and jumps up, letting out a high-pitched chortle.

You laugh as he runs to you and crawls up your chest to your shoulder where he places ferret kisses on your cheek.

Aaaaa, I finally got to meet my pet and I'm in love 🥰😘

LOL, I just remembered this picture I made once 😂😂😂

You smirk at James. “Yes, brother, you never should have shown fear. Now my scary little ferret will feast on your fear forevermore.”

You watch amused as a shiver runs down James’ spine. He glares at you… “Ha ha, very funny asshole.”

Timber hisses at James. Your brother’s eyes widen and he takes a step back, behind Constantine.

Really James, are you afraid of a little furry animal? I was laughing so hard at this scene. It's gold!

I liked the funeral scene, it was perfect and I'm glad my MC was able to act according to his personality (that means, quite stoically). Poor James 🥺 he takes it hard... I'm dying to know what happened when the King was killed and what James' role was in it.

I don't know if it's just me but the Queen's POV is a bit disturbing "I will burn this world if it comes to it, she vows." ._.

Ok, that's enough, because this 'ask' got long. One more thing, my MC who uses he/him is often called "Their Highness" ("Their Highness has to visit their charity while we're there"). Bug?

I had so much fun writing the court scene and there will definitely be more scenarios like that where MC has to make decisions. Hopefully, Part 2 of the chapter where you actually go to the charity will show what a difference even a bit of help can make for those who are struggling :)

I still have that Ferret picture saved to my computer. I look at submitted pictures and memes when I need a laugh. :D

Really James, are you afraid of a little furry animal? I was laughing so hard at this scene. It's gold!

I'm really relieved to hear your reaction to the pet introduction scene. I wanted them to be a bit funny without it feeling forced. I'm not good at forced humor, I'm better when I say stuff randomly so I tried to pretend I was the characters for these scenes and imagined how they would react.

I don't know if it's just me but the Queen's POV is a bit disturbing "I will burn this world if it comes to it, she vows." ._.

HAHA no comment

One more thing, my MC who uses he/him is often called "Their Highness" ("Their Highness has to visit their charity while we're there"). Bug?

Yes, it was a bug! I FINALLY figured out the fix and it shouldn't be an issue anymore :) Sorry about that.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Putting an update out is so nerve-wracking because you really don't know what people will think. Obviously, you can't please everyone, which is fine, but it's nice to hear feedback and thoughts. As an author, I always wonder what someone's reaction would be as they read a certain scene or if they picked up on small things that aren't obvious. This was a treat to read. Thank you, thank you!!

-Vi

[merakiui]

there’s this one hentai doujin thats kinda obscure,,,,it’s where they take highschool dropouts and use them for sex work (public use, basically)

now in the story, a public use dropout is given to students who score very well on their tests, like a personal cumdump/dildo.

now what about this with octotrio,,,,? 👀 we know they score well. or maybe even reader is the one scoring well….

👀 this would motivate Floyd to do well on his assignments and exams so that he can have you as his personal cumdump. <3 the system sort of reminds me of the housepets in Kakegurui. Aaaaa the idea of NRC having a system like that, where your grades determine whether or not you'll be spared public (use) humiliation in various ways..... >_< omg and some students absolutely buy their way out. Whether that's by cutting a deal with Azul or using actual money to ensure they never fall low on the scale (Crowley, you are a terrible, terrible man.......).

Azul and Riddle are always within the top placements for exams (and Riddle always takes the first spot). Azul who is desperately trying to score the highest so that he can be awarded you, but Riddle isn't even aware it's a (one-sided) competition. T_T but maybe you dodged a bullet because Riddle will treat you very nicely (if he's post-overblot, that is. Pre-overblot is,,,,,, rough).

Azul would use you as stress relief. <3 he keeps you close in his office, always within reach should he need a break from reviewing contracts or writing up study guides. This is your job now. Don't worry about grades or exams. You can be a dumb cock-drunk cum-slut for him and he won't mind. In fact, it makes it easier to trick you into signing a contract to ensure that, even if you manage to get out of this arrangement, you'll still be stuck with him.

Jade takes every opportunity he can to humiliate you. T_T maybe he even offers you to other students for motivation just to watch you panic and beg him to not do that. Ace and Deuce are so determined to do well on their exams so that they can have a chance with you, but Jade's a nasty liar. Did you think he was being serious? He just likes to toy with and traumatize you.

And Floyd...... orz he uses you so often. There are some days where all you know is sex because he can't stay off of you. Other days he's not in the mood and so you're spared (mostly). He loves his Shrimpy. <3 if anyone says anything about you or tries to touch you, Floyd will snap them in half. No one's allowed to have his Shrimpy. He worked hard just to get his grades up to a level where he would be eligible to have you! He's not going to let anyone experience that luxury.

[l-e-morgan-author]

Writing Newsletter #2: April 2024

Still not figured out website hosting, so this is still on here. I also haven't edited the two stories I plan to provide as a signup gift, so that's not ready yet. Anyway, if you want to be on the taglist for this monthly newsletter, say the word and I'll add you.

Writing update

My main project is still Patience, Changing. The mental health aspect to it has been more pronounced in the last few weeks, although my writing has been variably swift. I’ve enjoyed getting to know my characters, and am eager to work on more that fleshes them out after I’ve finished with this; I’ll probably write a novella about both Connie and Hannah at some point. Novellas are an incredibly freeing medium: they can be filled with Plot, or they can just be a whole lot of vibes packed together. They won’t be the Best Novella Ever, of course, but it does give a chance to explore vibes without necessarily having a significant amount of plot going on.

I’m getting closer and closer to Hannah’s death. I know I’m going to have to go back and write her properly into the story, since she barely occurs and her death is going to have a significant effect on Patience. I’m not looking forward to writing it, but anyway. It has to be.

As far as word count goes, I’m up to 115k total, being around 35k written since last month. Most of that is on the novel, with some drabble work (some of them shared and some put in the novel so effectively serving double duty) and a couple of specific scenes from different planned novellas (like the one I wrote for the Furious Fiction that didn’t get anywhere but I’m pretty happy with—that’s 500 words or fewer). My momentum is not as strongly forward carrying as it was, but I think that’s just something that varies anyway. I’ll be glad when I finish this novel; I hope to finish writing it this month and then do further work on novellas while I let it rest, or perhaps back to the Inklings story I am tentatively titling Metamorphosis of a Girl, Hadassah’s story. I could go back to Hands Made for Gentleness, but that may be darker than I should be looking at at present. I’m not entirely sure what this month will bring, hence.

Reading update

Since last month, I’ve read a bit more of Walking on Water and Cry of the Raven. I’m loving both of them. I’ve also completed Wintergirls (a reread—an excellent though disturbing book), Billabong Adventurers (reread—one of my favourite books), Billabong’s Daughter (reread—also one of my favourites), The Sound of Music (another reread—and one I absolutely loved, more than I expected) and Captain Jim (another reread—the Billabong books again).

So all of the books I’ve read recently have been rereads, but I’m really enjoying them. I’m currently reading From Billabong to London, Cry of the Raven, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, and Walking on Water.

Ramble

Oh hello, it’s the ramble section again. My mental health has been comparatively amazing lately, which helps with some things but means that I’m not doing as much “aaaaa I’m feeling So Bad let me Write The Pain Away”, which is… both good and bad. It’ll take a bit to adjust to feeling Like This (positively), and I’m still struggling with motivation and all that (in part because, interestingly enough, a lot of my motivation in the past has been stress-related, and now that I’m not as stressed (either that or Too Stressed) I’m not sure how to motivate myself).

I’m sure I’ll figure something out here presently. Anyway, please contact me and let me know what works best or what you’d most like to see! I need the advice.

Drabble

I Will Be With You

I need someone to guide me, Connie wrote in her diary. I need someone who I can believe to tell me that it’s okay to care about myself. I know all the stuff the psych says about being worthy of attention and love but I don’t believe it. I need someone to believe in me, I think. But I don’t know how to find someone who’ll do that in a way I won’t just discard what they say like I do so many people. I need someone who’ll be there. But then again—they say the sun rises every day.

No photo of Ransom this time, sorry!

[the-heaminator]

Had some motivation to draw your Kashmir OC, and I know it’s not the best but I enjoyed drawing her lol :)

AAAAA OMG THA K YOU YHABK YOU THANK YOU QWQ I NEVER THOUGHT ANYONE ELSE WOULD WANT MY OC THAT EVEN I SOMETKMES FORGET ABOUT. SHES SO PRETTY OMG

SO HERE ARE EXPANDED KASHMIR HCS they were meant to be hcs but kinds if got out of control

She is short, 5'3 only, and pretty slight all things considered, unlike Haryana. Who for that matter always absolutely stuffs her if she ever comes over because Punjab needs backup bc Haryana is in her shit shit shit I need to feed everyone stage which happens at least once ever 2 to 3 years.

Speaking of her relationship with Punjab, which is to be fair one of the only things I have fleshed out here, they get along in the way that the enemy of ky enemy is my friend but in a joking way, ish, neither particularly want to be part of India, both have strong separatists movements (I personally have severe beef with both movements but thafs just personal reasons) they both have a history of religious violence, incredible pain during the partition (what used to be punjab before the partition was much much larger, and a lot of it got split into pakistani punjab, his sister, who is constantly sick and not having a good time)

idk I think he might have tried to substitute his sister with Kashmir, who has a brother of her own, Jammu, who has the capital for half the year and she has it for the rest, he cares for her deeply, and has ended up caring for punjab a lot too because that man is fucking lost and he needs help.

The three have a type of "Oh shit you're nearly as fucked up as I am going on." They all got fucked severely by the partition, thus having too many seperationist movements, religious conflict, not so great infrastructure and a general hatred towards the main government.

J&Ks infrastructure has gotten a lot better in the past decade, it is no longer a state per se since 2019, union territory but shut up, apparently when my mum got married you couldn't even reliably drive a car because the roads were so bad you would kill the suspension in a moment so horses were still main modes of transport, this wasn't even that long ago, late 90s early 2000s.

Which is a shame, J&K is so fucking pretty, natural beauty a plenty, mountains and all, and comparatively to places like dehli, Mumbai amritsar etc Srinagar is very, very clean, she feeds all the stray dogs, she has befriended them, I hc her to have one, a Bakherwal (?) Dog, very friendly to most people, has particular beef with India and China, they know its personal, he is spoiled rotten by Jammu and punjab who keeps on giving him roti.

Both Jammu and Kashmir have a fondness for mutton and chicken, they eat so much rice that its not even funny, so much bloody rice. They are not good at making dhaal but make very good sabjis. But make them wet bc they eat it with fucking rice (I'm sorry I'm pissed that my dad manages to make aloo gobi a fucking curry how di you do that??)

anyhow I might elaborate on these later. Maybe