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lumililith · 6 months ago

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So, just a couple pieces of info about my Pokespe x FNF Au characters while I work on part 3 of the future au series, all of them do not originally come from the FNF dimension before traveling back. They’ll probably be revealed sometime in the future.

BF-Wally: As always, he’s still a cinnamon roll like the canon, but due to be being a fusion of Wally and BF, he has a bit of a rebellious side as well but never really doing anything illegal like canon BF. When he was younger, he had to wear a voice collar due to having some trouble speaking. He can get very overprotective over the people he cares about, especially his girlfriend and ex. He mainly uses his microphone as a weapon at time, like BF in some forms of media where it’s attached to some kind of rope. He’s aware of other Aus including the canon ones.

GF-Lisia: Being a combination of the 2, Lisia is still a famous coordinator and normally participates in contests alongside Ruby. Underneath that cute innocent side, Lisia is a really strong battler, being able to defeat Sapphire with just 3 Pokemon. She and Wally are in a good relationship with each other, and the 2 often battle together in doubles. She’s a really good singer and performer on stage as well, producing a few albums in the past before her coordinator career. Like Wally, she can be a fighter as she takes boxing classes when she was younger, and has a pair of brass knuckles in a cupboard. I could see her being this dimension’s Kieran’s trainer. She was originally gonna be a sniper as to reference Tactie (an OC by Trake). But Wally’s Ex has a gun so I wanna have diversity.

Daddy Dearest-Wallace: Being a combination of the 2, Wallace is sort-of Lisia’s surrogate dad in FNF dimension for the time-being. Like DD, he’s a retired rapper-now stage performer and coordinator. He care deeply for the trio as well as his protege Ruby. It took a bit of convincing but he eventually gave the green light for Wally and Lisia’s relationship unlike DD.

Skid and Pump-Shiny Phantump and Pumpkaboo: Unlike the rest, Skid and Pump are nearly the same as their original counterparts except being Pokémon now and that the 2 are adopted siblings. Skid does have some PTSD from his dad but Pump is always there to support him. Before Wally’s former rapper and teaching career, he used babysit Skid and Pump as a job from their mom. (If you’re wondering, Lila is a human-died-turned-Mismagius).

Monster-Unknown Cloaked Figure: This mysterious figure takes Monster’s place. Wally has been his No.1 hater as even back in the Pokémon dimension, he still harassed him. No one knows his true intentions or identity. Although Wally says it’s Dokutaro but hasn’t been able to confirm.

Pico-Emerald: Being a combination of the 2, Emerald is Wally’s Ex in this Au and still wields an Uzi. He formerly worked as a mercenary in the FNF dimension, now he works at the Battle Tower in Hoenn. Like the other member Sun the tiro, he’s an excellent singer and rapper, but his lyrics are more aggressive than the two. Wally and Emerald broke up due to unknown reasons which both refused to talk about, when he was paid by an unknown person to assassinate Lisia’s Bf, he didn’t know it was his ex until he saw him face to face. Eventually the 2 became friends again. Like the others, he’s a fighter, having an incredibly good aim makes him deadly when using a ranged weapon. Since canon Emerald has a dirt gun, why not?

Mommy Mearest-Winona: As the combination of the 2, Winona is a pretty good gym leader and trainer. She mainly works as a pilot in the FNF dimension and sometimes helps out Skyla at times. Like Wallace, she was a former rapper as well. Unlike Wallace, she fully supported Lisia and BF’s relationship after seeing the couple act together at times. And no, she’s not engaged to Wallace.

Senpai-Ruby.GIF: Ok, so the first original character, Ruby.GIF is the main character of a dating simulator and does NOT Look like Ruby in the manga (completely different appearance). He’s more or less like Senpai except does not show his temper much but rather replies with snark remarks against Wally.

Spirit-Brendan: Being a combination of the 2, Brendan was originally Birch’s son from an Alpha Sapphire timeline, one day he accidentally stumbled across the game and accidentally got trapped in it (details next time). He’s slowly keeping his sanity together since he has seen several play the game and given several hints that he’s inside, but no one knew. As such, he became aggressive and started it have the ability to drag people in the game. It’s unknown if he’s dead or freed after the events of the Corruption.

Tankman: No change since he’s iconic as heck. Although he does mention that he knew some Pokémon characters such as Surge or during game over screens, he would snidely talk about some gym leaders, evil teams, and champions. Particularly Lance. Roasting him at every given opportunity.

Nene-May: being a combination, May had to toughen up and survive, coming from an Emerald timeline, she lost all her Pokémon when entering the dimension. As such, she didn’t have a choice so she partnered up with Brendan and Emerald as mercenaries to survive. She’s particularly pissed at Emerald for not killing Wally and still holds a grudge. She’s very skilled with knifes and could use them in combat well, whether as ranged or melee weapons.

Darnell-Brendan: From a Master’s EX timeline, Brendan’s more skilled in battling but without his Pokémon, he’s more or less screwed. He has a penchant for pyrotechnics which helped out in his line of work. He no longer holds a grudge against Emerald since he understands his reasons for not doing the job. He isn’t brightest but very emotionally intelligent.

Well, that’s all I have for now, but what do you think?

Honestly, I think this AU is pretty cool! I never really had much experience with Hoenn because my first game was X and I never really played ORAS much, but this makes me want to revisit the games with a new perspective to learn about the characters, and makes me want to read more about this in a story form! I'm excited to see where you go with this, if you decide you want to. Thank you for the ask, it was a joy to read! I love replacing characters with others so much

#radiantmocha asks

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secret-engima · 5 years ago

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Snippet of Clouds Across the Moonlit Skies

(Long snip because I hate to break the scene. Everyone meet Aranea’s mom Satyrinae and her dad Pelops. For short term OCs, I really like them, they make a nice pair. :D)

...

Satyrinae was used to seeing strange folk get blown into her store by the desert winds. Good folk, bad folk, wild hunters almost as feral as the beasts they hunted, and snobby nobles who looked like they would rather die than deign to talk to her. She was also used to dealing the strange people blown in on the desert winds as either customers, passersby, or thieves. Most thieves didn’t last long. She might run a store now, but she was far from a tame civilian, and her Quicksilver model revolver still shot just as true as it ever had when she was out killing monsters for coin. Any thief that tried to steal from her store had one chance to put the stolen goods down and make up for the attempt. If they didn’t … well.

Satyrinae was very well liked by the hunters and wilderness guides whose families lived in town, and there was a lot of wilderness a person could take a shovel to.

So when the hairs on the back of her neck prickled in the middle of washing dishes, several hours after the close of her store and only an hour left at most before sunset, Satyrinae didn’t doubt her instincts. She just picked up her Quicksilver from where she had put it on the counter within easy reach and padded downstairs, ready to find another troublemaker.

She slipped in through the well-oiled door of the back room, padded out to the entrance that came out behind the counter and paused, scanning for signs of trouble. Her first check was the perishable aisles. Most of the thieves that came in here were looking for supplies of food and water to carry them out into the desert again. Her next glance lingered on the camping and medical supplies for the same reasons. Nothing. No sign of disturbance. So what was making her instincts sit up? It wasn’t an obvious sound, or smell, or sight. But she’d survived a grueling mercenary career for fifteen years of her life before settling down with a gentle, civilian husband —who was currently upstairs putting their daughter to bed, not even aware Satyrinae had slipped downstairs—. She trusted her instincts over her senses. It had saved her life before.

Then, before she could reach for the light switch and reveal her presence to whoever was hiding in her store, she heard the faintest rustle-thump of something being pulled in bulk from her shelves. She honed in on the noise, thumb on the hammer of her Quicksilver but not pulling it back yet as she identified where the noise came from —no sense making a loud clicking sound and tipping off the thief just yet—. She paused when she realized it was coming from the very small but well stocked baby aisle. The one she kept for traveling couples and local parents.

Why would a thief be in the baby aisle?

With a sudden sinking feeling, she flicked on the light and clicked back the hammer of Quicksilver with more drama than strictly necessary, “I have a clear line of sight to all the doors and windows,” she announced firmly, “and I’m a faster shot then you can a run or a fight.” Deathly silence, no movement. Satyrinae raised her voice a little, pushing all the brusque authority of a former mercenary commander and current mother in her voice, “Now, I don’t like blood on my floor, and I don’t like wasting bullets. You come out nice and slow, hands where I can see them, and we can talk this out. You try to fight or run and I’ll be wasting a bullet putting a hole in your head and spending the rest of my evening scrubbing blood out of the floor. Pretty sure neither of us want that, so get out here. Slowly.”

Finally, she heard the rustle of fabric, the sound of someone slowly standing up, “How do I know you won’t shoot the moment I’m visible?” Asked a deep, masculine voice from the cover of the shelves.

“You don’t,” she retorted coldly, “Guess you just gotta trust that I hate being on my knees scrubbing floorboards more than I hate thieves.”

A long pause, then a low, “I’m coming out.” A gesture, a single, empty hand coming into view. She heard a soft, shaky curse and then, “I have a child with me. Don’t. Shoot.”

Very, very slowly, the man inched out into her view, his every movement cautious, ready to dive behind the nearest cover. Only one hand was in the air, away from the katana she could see belted at his waist, the other was visible and supporting a large bulge in his jacket. She was ready to call out his lie —hiding stolen goods in a jacket and pretending it was a child or a puppy or something was an old trick—, then there was the unmistakable sound of a baby’s coo and a tiny face peered over the edge of the jacket, revealing bright gold hair and wide blue eyes. The hand supporting the child flexed slightly, gripping more tightly out of fear. Icy blue eyes watched her every move, ready react in defense of the baby at any moment.

Satyrinae swore softly and lowered the pistol away from the child, but didn’t relax her guard just yet, “That yours? Or you a baby thief as well as a burglar?”

The man’s face pinched and there was a hint of fresh fury and despair on his face, “I’m all he’s got.” The man said instead of a straight answer and she raised an eyebrow at him. The man eyed her, clearly sizing up his options, and Satyrinae’s hackles rose a little higher. This man was a soldier of some kind. He wasn’t a Niflheim trooper, not if he was stealing, not the way he was dressed. He was either a mercenary, a deserter…

Or a Lucian spy.

“What happened to his last keepers?” She asked and there, in the careful way he measured his breathing and the flicker of fury, she saw a story she didn’t think he’d ever tell her.

“I don’t know,” he said and that part seemed honest, “I found him. I couldn’t just … leave him there and let the-.” He cut himself off, glanced down at the wide-eyed child for a fraction of a second, looked back up at her, “I couldn’t let the animals tear him apart.”

Somehow, she mused as she assessed the man, I don’t think you mean the four-legged or even the daemonic kind of animal. Fair enough, she’d seen a lot of abuse survivors in her time. The question was whether or not the man was actually a rescuer, or if he was an abuser who had stolen someone’s child for kicks and gil. The scuff of boots on wood interrupted her thoughts and she almost rolled her eyes at the gentle bass of her husband’s voice coming from behind her, “Satyr?”

“Not now, Love.”

She could hear him move to stand just behind and to the side, saw the thief’s eyes flick from him then back to her with the predatory practice of a soldier sizing up the opposition. No, not even a soldier. He was more feral than that. Something about that observation and the faint accent in the thief’s voice niggled at her, but her concentration was disrupted by her husband murmuring, “Oh. Oh dear. She’s so small. Is she yours?”

The man’s gaze didn’t leave Satyrinae, but there was something oddly raw and honest —helpless, desperate— in the way he answered, “Him. He’s … I’m all he’s got.”

She could hear more and more concern leak into her husband’s voice, “Astrals, he’s so young. You came here to steal supplies for him?”

The man’s jaw worked, “I don’t have any money. Or monster parts to trade. I’ve been-. I can’t hunt like this.”

“I can imagine.” Pelops said and Satyrinae inwardly groaned because she knew that tone, she knew what came next, “How far are you going? You’re going to need more supplies than just what you can carry with your bare hands, you know.”

“Love…” She growled.

“Satyr mine,” retorted Pelops in that tone that meant he would not be moved, “he’s not a bad man. He’s got a good soul.”

#Melodies and Manuscripts #Secret Engima Rambles #Clouds and Moonlit Skies verse #dad!cor #cor is very out of his element here #bby Cloud-Prom is worried #is he about to get shot?#that would suck #no worries he is not about to be shot #just mommed aggressively by an ex-mercenary

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rostovs-lover · 4 years ago

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dual purpose

din djarin x reader | cursing, some derogatory things said to reader, xi’an is Not Nice - mando is Not Nice back, very dialouge heavy | she/her pronouns | fluffy? a little angsty?? | wc.1144

so i kind of wrote xi’an as more verbally rude to reader as opposed to physically, i am also not good at arguing so that scene is iffy, very sorry. i hope you enjoy!

anon : Hey I love your writing 💕im in love with the Mandolorn (sorry if I spelt it wrong). I thought of a great idea, where Mado has a girl on the ship she’s traveling with him and they have grown to become good firends, and he becomes quite protective of her because she is weaker than him. In chapter 6 the prisoner, Xi’an is Mandos ex, she sees the girl he is traveling with and gets jealous and starts to become threatening towards her and violent, ans Mado becomes protective of her 💕

Xi’an, whos still not over Din, takes her passive aggressive aggression out on you, Mando is not having it.

Din Djarin was terrifying, all heavy metal and loud boots. He was the sun, blazing hot and blinding, all tucked behind thick beskar. Something about you, your cool demeanour and the way you seemed to float on your feet, a stark contrast to how heavily he clunked around. He was terrifying but you had seen through it. He was terrifying but his friends were worse. Not friends, per se, he’d made that evident. Ran and Mayfield and Xi’an were not his friends, hardly even acquaintances, ex-colleagues.

When he’d landed the Razor Crest in the doc, clearly put off, Din took a moment to collect himself, “You don’t have to talk to them.” He turned his head to look at you, “They’re not… your crowd really,”

You snorted, “That's beautiful coming from you, my dear. You know, you’re not particularly ‘my crowd’ either?”

“I’m serious-” The cool leather of his glove pressed to your cheek, “Look at me [Name]. They’re intense, they’re bounty hunters, mercenaries. They kill, ruthlessly, for money, and I don’t want you getting in their way.”

You stared, eyebrows furrowing, “Get in their way?”

“Not-” He sighed, “Not like that. You’re not in the way. I just don’t want them to do anything… to say anything. They’re not nice people, not at all. And you should know about Xi’an.” He had an edge to his voice, something bitter biting into her name. Xi’an. You could taste the bad memories through his tone.

“Whos Xi’an?”

“Xi’an is someone who I used to know. We had a relationship? If you could even call it that. It wasn’t really anything important, we were both young and stupid and always running on adrenalin. Things happened, things that probably shouldn’t have, and when I left things were very… open. There wasn’t closure for her, for either of us, and from what I know of Xi’an she probably isn’t really over it.” He moved his hand to brush a tendril of hair behind your ear, “I don’t know how she’d feel about someone else, I really don’t even know how she’ll feel about the kid. I just don’t want her to ruin anything, or to hurt you.”

You reached back, to clutch at his hand, “Din.”

He seemed vulnerable, more so than any other time you’d seen him in broad daylight. The dam was leaking and sweet weakness was dribbling from the cracks, pouring into your hands like ambrosia from the Heavens. He dipped forwards, pressing the crown of his helmet to your brow bone, “I know, I worry.”

“Yes you do, too much. I’m alright Din, we’ll be alright.”

“I know, I know you will but I still just can’t imagine losing you. I don’t know what I’d do. I think-” He let out a soft noise, somewhere between a scoff and a chuckle, “I think I’ve actually had nightmares about that. About something happening to you and the Thing. I know you can hold your own and take care of yourself but I just feel this compulsion to keep you and the kid safe.”

“It's a paternal instinct Din, to protect your family.”

“Paternal.” Din jeered, “What have you turned me into?”

You tapped a finger to the side of his helmet, “I’ve made you soft,”

Xi’an shared the same sentiment, that Din had gone soft. And she blamed you entirely, she had voiced that. When she’d first met you she circled like a vulture, walking around you as she fiddled with her utility belt.

“You’re cute, so is that-” She reached out to pinch at his little green cheek, “Is he yours?” Her tone was condescending, filled with mock pity.

The Child leaned away from her, ears twitching downwards as he pressed closer to your chest, “No, he's not. I just help Mando take care of him,”

“He's Mando’s?”

“No, no- not really. Kind of, but it's a long story.”

Xi’an cocked an eyebrow, “Kind of? What even is it, I’ve never seen anything like it. Mando didn’t… you know, with its mom I hope. I mean, now I guess it couldn’t really be put past him.”

You shook your head, clutching tighter to the Child, “No, the baby was found, Mando took him in after-”

“Are you two..?” a grin crawled up Xi’an’s, “I bet you are. Oh I don’t blame him, you are pretty and all that time in the middle of nowhere would make anyone desperate, even prudey Mando and his creed. You know, I never took him for the companion type but I mean, you are something to look at, and good with kids. How nice it would be to have you on the ship, dual purpose.”

“Xi’an-” Din’s tone was curt, “I see you two have met.”

“We have! She’s a cutie, I think I’m starting to see a pattern with your picker. Plus with that kid, she seems to be good for a lot,”

The Mandalorian’s shoulders tense and his fingers clenched, “You know, you never were good at reading people. Good for a lot, what is that even supposed to mean?”

She snorted and crossed her arms, “Just you must be desperate is all, but you could have come back instead of picking up a space hooker. But you’ve domesticated her well!”

“Really Xi’an?” Din leaned closer to her, “Are you jealous that I wanted more or have you always been this much of a bitch?”

“Can you still fight or have you gone soft Mando? Did a girl make you soft, or was it your kid?”

“I’m sorry you weren’t the one who got to have this life Xi’an, but I really don’t think you’re adept for it,”

That was what caught her, making her flustered. Din had nipped the weak spot she had, desperation for family. Xi’an regained herself and straightened, “At least I still have the balls to do my job.” She turned on her heels and stormed towards Burg.

Din sighed and reached out to pull the Child from your arms, “I’m so sorry about her,”

You shook your head, “Its fine, you warned me, I didn’t take any of it to heart,”

Despite the dark visor covering his eyes, you could feel the sympathy, “It still wasn’t okay, any of what she said. You’re not dual purpose. You're wonderful and perfect and the fact that you’re so good with the kid is just an up.”

Your face flushed, “Thank you Mando, that means a lot.

“I’m not just saying it [Name]. When you asked to come aboard full time it was such a relief, with how much the Thing likes you.”

You smiled, reaching out to fix the collar of the baby’s robe, “Well I like him too, he happens to be my favourite little monster in the whole galaxy.” You looked up to your companion, “Don’t worry, you’re my second favourite.”

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian imagine #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin #din djarin imagine #din djarin x reader #baby yoda #grogu #mando #lennie writes

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reachfolk · 3 years ago

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Could you tell me more about honey? 👀

omg i had this lying in my inbox cause there's just sooo much to say about her that i was like "uhhh where do i start?" if i wanna talk abt honey, i have to talk about beatrice, which means i have to talk about isobel and ophelia, which means i have to talk about alexi, etc etc lol. this is my attempt to organize all that in a coherent way.

part of the story that i'm telling with all these oc's is just how there's really no right way to cope with oppression; as long as there's some outside force larger than you pushing you down, there's always going to be some pain that'll just. always be there, yknow? as bleak as that sounds lol, a lot of the character relationships are founded on those shared experiences and helping each other cope with it. they each sorta represent different ways of handling it or fighting against it, and how there's pros and cons to all of them, but all of them are in some way necessary. (ex: ophelia largely represents cultural preservation in the face of genocide, alexi represents cultural exchange and the idea of showcasing the most "upstanding/successful" people of a minority group, robin represents direct action and rebellion, marceline represents minorities going into govt positions to change things from the inside, etc). not to imply that any of that is mutually exclusive of course, but they do all represent the base concept of these characters. all of it ends up converging into the idea of radical revolutionary change, but they all kinda play their own little part in it.

so honey's mom is beatrice, who was one of the people living in karthwasten when the massacre happened (which is why she knew isobel and ursula; the three of them were very close childhood friends before they got separated).

bea and isobel are sort of opposite ends of the question of, "how do you raise a kid when you know they're going to have to face racism throughout their life? how can you avoid them suffering the way you did?" in a way, they each act as narrative foils to each other because of how differently they went about raising their kids, even though their origin was kinda similar.

alexi was largely sheltered from her own culture, and she had to fight her mom into letting her engage with it in any way. she had to fight for her mom to even let her spend time with her aunt, let alone work with her at the alchemy shop. she had to keep the fact that she used magic or wanted to worship the old gods hidden. she never learned a lot of the skills that most reachwomen knew, like how to dress their hair in the traditional style, or how to carve jewelry out of bone, or how to do her own warpaint, or how to be self sufficient in the wild. there's lots i can say about marci and robin but i'll stay on track lol

honey, on the other hand, had the polar opposite upbringing. she was born out in the reach, into a coven with one of the most traditionalist people you'll ever meet (ophelia) to guide her through everything. beatrice encouraged her to embrace her culture and learn all the things alexi either had to fight tooth and nail for, or just was never allowed to do. but the consequence was that honey didn't get the same sort of luxuries as alex.

living in the wilds is dangerous and risky, and they don't always have enough to spare. there's a lot of uncertainty around whether they'll be able to have enough to eat, or how harsh the winter will be, or if they get attacked at their hideout by some mercenaries or wild beasts. the jarl is always cracking down on reach tribes and they have to fight off a lot of people being constantly sent after them, and it's not exactly a great environment to raise a kid. she grew up feeling a sense of guilt, because she feels her presence is a hindrance to the coven. in her mind, she's just extra work; she can't contribute much, and she takes up a lot of their time and resources as they take care of her. they don't ever say anything to suggest this of course, but the feeling is there.

all of that is why she can be really... a Lot? she's a naturally spirited kid, for sure, but she kinda feels this pressure to rush through her childhood and get to a point that she can contribute. she can be a little aggressive and way too feisty because she wants to prove that she's tough, and that she's ready to take on more. she doesn't really let herself slow down and enjoy being a kid, because there's honestly not very much to enjoy about being a kid in the reach. of course she knows the coven would protect her with their lives, but she's also fully aware that she's not able to protect herself, and how it all really comes down to that. it makes her feel unsafe and on edge.

that's what i really like abt her and lex. just like their mothers, they also really parallel each other. because despite how different their upbringings were, they're always haunted by this sense that, "they're after me, they're after all of us." again, it's really bleak, but it sort of goes to show that regardless of what choices their parents make or what kinds of lives they lead, the real root of it all isn't their parents' choices; it's a lot bigger than that.

tldr: this fic is largely me trying to make sense of my own trauma with race lmao

#oc: honey #oc: beatrice #oc: isobel silver blood #oc: alexandria silver blood #cozy answers

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pupmon1 · 5 years ago

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Everyone’s making rainbow cookies. So fuck it. We got a White Choco Rainbow! Helpfully designed by @tart-sweetheart.

Ruby Choco: Ex-Mercenary, forced into retirement Known for being drunk or angry or both. There is a soft side to her, but not many see it. Her sisters are understanding to an extent, though sometimes Orange Bark kicks her out of the house for being too loud and aggressive.

Orange Bark: Olympic Gymnast She’s the definition of “I will take a vacation when I’m goddamn dead”. If she’s not working to be better, she’s probably sick. And even then, she’s not the best at just stopping. She hates being confined inside. If she can’t go outside at least once a day, she gets antsy.

White Macaron: Social Worker She just wants to help people. She doesn’t quite see the point in seeing all the bad things in the world when there are happy things in the world! She doesn’t spend much time with her siblings, but she works to make sure they’re happy when she can. It’s thankless...but seeing that she’s made someone’s life easier makes her happy.

Thin Mint: College Drop-out She went to college for biology...due to stress and financial strain, she had to drop out. But she got introduced to weed during it so she’s not really complaining. She’s just chill...and she just wants everyone else to be chill.

Robin’s Egg: *shrug* She’s a hippie. She tries to keep the peace in the house, but she doesn’t always succeed, as she’s commonly stuck with Ruby and Mint, and Mint enjoys annoying Ruby. She doesn’t know what she wants to do with life..but that’s fine. She’s sure she’ll find something.

Ube Fudge: Kindergarden Teacher The mom sis. She wants to help her siblings be better, but its not always easy for her. She’s great with kids, but the more she tries the more they bristle at her. She knows what she’s doing wrong...but she can’t always get out of teacher mode.

#Cookie Run #White Choco Cookie #OCs #Technically?#I dunno

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winchesterbrotherstan · 5 years ago

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Kong: Skull Island- Brothers

Pairing: Eventual Reg Slivko x Irene Conrad Brown (OC)

Jack Chapman x Irene Brown (brother-sister relationship)

James Conrad x Irene Brown (brother-sister relationship)

Summary: An ex-mercenary and his younger adopted sister get themselves into a mess because they want money from the US government

Warnings: cursing, crying, etc

Word Count: 2777

SAIGON, VIETNAM

I caught the ball as it bounced back from the wall. James had gone out for the night, and he refused to let me come with him. It was already enough that he had brought me out to Saigon with him. The hotel room was cramped, with one bed, a wooden chair, and a TV that didn’t work perched atop a large dresser with drawers that only pulled halfway out. James and I kept our stuff in bags anyway. I had finished reading The Time Machine, and only read halfway through The Island of Doctor Moreau because it was rather horrifying. James told me he’d be back rather late, so I was to lock the door and go to sleep at a reasonable time.

I sighed deep as I threw the bouncy ball again, only this time it bounced onto the floor instead of onto the bed. I let it go and rolled onto my stomach. James had been decommissioned for the past week and a half, but he didn’t want to talk much about the war. It was understandable. I had never been to war, but I had seen things as simple as photographs that had shook me to my core. I couldn’t imagine what being out there fighting would be like.

I realized my body was falling asleep while my mind was still running, which was unsurprising. James and I had spent the day exploring the city. He had almost forced me into picking something out from a store, because my birthday was coming up soon. I responded with a cheesy classic.

“All I want is for you to stay home.”

He ate that one up. James had basically been taking care of me since I was barely a teenager. That was when my father married his mom. My father had died a year or two after, and his mother three months after, of grief. I was thirteen by the time that happened, but James was much older. He could’ve taken me to an orphanage or left me on my own. He took me in instead. He joined British Special Forces three years after he brought me to live with him. He was decommissioned two years later, which brings us to today. I had been living basically on my own for that time, but somehow my brother always found a way to make sure I had enough of everything to get by.

I jerked up when I heard the door open.

“You didn’t lock it?” Blue eyes squinted at me.

“I was going to, I promise. I’m not even asleep yet, Jay.” I stifled a yawn.

He gave me a deadpan face, locking both locks on the door as loudly as possible. His face softened as he pushed me over, making room for himself to sit down next to me.

“What’s up?” I could tell something was bugging him.

I felt my heart drop to my stomach. He wasn’t going back to war, was he?

“Irene, listen … you know I’ve been decommissioned.” He trailed off, picking stray hairs off the blanket as he avoided my glances.

“Yeah, and?”

He sighed, contemplating something. I scratched at my finger, increasingly nervous.

“I’ve been offered a job.” He blurted.

I looked up. Why was he so slow about telling me that?

“Where?” I heard the weak sense of betrayal in my own voice.

He looked up to meet my eyes. I felt like I was on the verge of holding back tears as he stuttered.

“A-ah-an island. An uncharted island in the South Pacific.” He averted his gaze back down.

I paused before speaking, more aggressive than I wanted to be. “You’re ex-special forces, what do they need you for? Who even needs you?”

He sighed. “It’s a group of scientists, Ire. Look, they need me to be their tracker, essentially. It’s only supposed to take a week, and I could leave you wi-”

“No.” I stopped him, feeling my own face contort into one of despair.

“Irene.” He raised an eyebrow at me.

“You did not already say yes.” I felt the tears well in my eyes.

His face mirrored mine, sadness and what was probably regret on his features.

“Jay, you’ve only been back a week, and you’re leaving again?” I cried.

“Irene, I didn’t think it would upset you so much.” He pulled me to him, hugging me.

I slumped against him and whimpered. If he was going, he was taking me with him. I would guilt him into it if I had to.

“Irene, I’m so sorry.” He mumbled, rubbing circles on my back.

I curled up tighter. “James, please don’t leave me.”

“Bitsy, I-I…” He trailed off.

I pulled back far enough to look up at him.

“Take me with you.” I urged with tear-stained cheeks.

He met my eye, which was a mistake on his part. I frowned again, letting my shoulders drop. He sighed through his nose before finally breaking.

“Fine. I’ll tell them you’re good with jungles and animals.” He let his hand drop on the bed.

“And?” I smiled a little.

“And that we’re a package deal.” He narrowed his eyes at me.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I threw myself at him, hugging him tightly.

He hugged back with a grunt, taken off guard by my excitement.

“We’re leaving in a few hours, so pack up whatever’s lying around.”

I finally pulled away from the hug, ready to shove my toothbrush and two books into the bag.

“And the island might be extremely dangerous. So when we get there, stick to me, okay?” He was serious about that part, because he grabbed my hand and practically made me promise.

I nodded. “Okay.”

He broke into a smile. “Now pack and get some sleep, I have a feeling you aren’t going to like the plane ride.”

BANGKOK, THAILAND

“James Conrad. This is my younger sister Irene. I need her skill for the biological aspect of tracking.” James spoke to the blond man in a Landsat uniform.

“Oh, no. You can’t bring her with you.” The man answered rather snarky.

“I don’t think you understand. We’re a package deal. If she can’t go, you don’t get me.” James reached back to grab my hand, which I gladly gave with a squeeze.

The man eyed me before sighing. “Fine, whatever. You take responsibility for her.”

James scoffed. “Of course I will. She’s my sister.”

The man rolled his eyes, but James just pulled me past, pushing me ahead of him and holding onto my hand.

“Jay, I don’t know which way we’re going.” I mumbled back over my shoulder.

He pointed ahead, “Follow the soldiers.”

I caught sight of who he was talking about, the group of tall men dressed in army green. I followed loosely, but I stopped when they did. I looked back at James, then to the man that was standing at the start of the boat’s ramp.

James took my hand again, this time leading the way. I stood off to his side as we waited for the men to finish talking to him. As they began to walk away, and James approached the man, one of their hats fell to the ground. I bent down to pick it up before the wind could take it away. I realized how close I was to the guy who’s hat it was once I stood up. I bit my lip, suddenly anxious.

“Here.” I pushed the hat in his direction.

He grinned toothily before taking it. “Thank you, miss.”

I felt my cheeks heat up, but I was sure that he couldn’t see considering it was dark and he was at least half a foot taller than me.

“Slivko, stop flirting with the girl and get! We’ve got things to do!” The man that James had been talking to yelled.

The guy, who was more likely my age than actually a man, winked before scampering off, following the rest of the army men. James pulled on my wrist, breaking my attention.

“You’ve just gotta stick with me, but other than that Colonel Packard over there don’t care that you’ll be joining us.” He explained.

I nodded, following him up the ramp and avoiding the glare of the colonel.

***

I leaned against the same wall James leaned against. I scratched at my wrist, uncomfortable around all the Landsat people and the soldiers. I wasn’t sure what we were waiting on, and the loud cranking of the projector in the middle was making my skin crawl. James noticed this, and ruffled my hair.

“This should only take a few minutes, and it’s just a briefing. After this you can hole yourself up in the room if you want to.”

I scoffed and pushed his hand off, narrowing my eyes at him. “I don’t want to hole myself up. I’m just a little antsy.”

“Almost done, Bitsy.” He motioned at the man who had taken his place at the front of the room.

“Hello and welcome. I’m Landsat Field Supervisor, Victor Nieves.” He had an awkward posture, but smiled anyway as he pointed to the blond guy from earlier.

“This is my colleague Steve Woodward, our data wrangler.” There was a light chuckle from the Landsat team, but James remained stoic and I noticed a few soldiers roll their eyes.

The projector cranked again. “Our expedition takes us to a place every nautical trade route known to man has avoided for centuries.”

An image of an island popped up, shaped somewhat like a skull.

“As our satellites show, the island is surrounded by a perpetual storm system, allowing it to remain hidden from the outside world.”

That doesn’t sound right.

I felt James shift his posture, but my eyes remained on the projections as they changed.

“But with Colonel Packard’s helicopter transport, we will be the first to break through to the other side.”

My eyebrows furrowed. This sounded very much like something out of a twisted horror movie.

“We’re also pleased to be joined, for the first time, by the resource exploration team, led by Mr. Randa and accompanied by biologist Miss San and geologist Mr. Brooks.”

“Aren’t those the guys that hired you?” I whispered over my shoulder at James.

“Yeah.” He whispered back, eyes still narrowed.

He didn’t like this either.

Nieves continued, “Our focus will be on the island’s surface, theirs, what lies beneath. Mr. Brooks.”

The man with glasses stepped up to the front of the room.

“Simple, really. We’ll use explosions to shake the earth and create vibrations, helping us to map the subsurface of the island.”

The projection changed again.

“We’ll fly in over the south shore and then strategically drop seismic charges to better help us understand the density of the Earth.”

I hadn’t exactly gone through any type of geological science in high school, but I understood the words “seismic charges” and it raised some concern.

“You’re dropping bombs?” James spoke up.

All eyes turned to him, including mine. I would’ve never actually spoken aloud in a room full of people, but James didn’t care. And I trusted him to make sure things were safe before getting involved.

“Mmm.. S-scientific instruments.” Mr. Brooks countered.

“You hear that, boys? We’re scientists now.” A voice called from the rows of soldiers.

Even though he was sitting low in his chair, I could tell it was the one that had dropped his hat earlier.

Slivko, I think?

The soldiers laughed, but the Landsat people didn’t seem amused. I’m sure James would have laughed, had Mr. Brooks not dodged his question about the bombs.

“You guys are not scientists.” Steve muttered.

I rolled my eyes.

“We’ll then land and make basecamp for ground excursions led by Mr. Conrad and Miss Brown.” Nieves gestured our way.

I glanced up at James. He met my eyes, his face softer now. I shot a face at him, one screaming “I am definitely not a tracker!!” He only shook his head.

“Major Jack Chapman.” Nieves stepped aside.

My eyes snapped up.

Before my father had married James’s mother, he had dated a few women. One of those women had been Elise Chapman. They dated for a few years, during the prime of my childhood. Her son Jack had become my best friend. My dad moved me away after a few years, never really telling me what had happened between them. Jack and I would write each other letters, but after a few years he stopped answering. I hadn’t talked to Jack in two years.

But here he was now, about to tell us whatever it was he had to tell us about this possibly lethal island.

He stepped up and took the pointer from Houston, “All right, once on this island-” he caught my eye.

I shivered, seemingly unable to pull my eyes away. James clasped a hand onto my shoulder. He knew all about Jack, just like he knew about every detail of my life.

Jack snapped himself out of it and started talking again.

“Once on the island, the storm’s interference will block all radio contact with the ship. That means we’ll be by ourselves.”

The projector again. I swallowed hard.

“Three days later, the refuel team will meet us here on the North end of the island. That may be our only safe departure window for an unknown period of time.” He glanced back my way.

“So, tip for everybody. Don’t miss it. Please.” His eyes came back around, but it seemed that James caught him this time.

Jack looked away, and he didn’t look back again.

***

“James, where are you going?” I asked as he turned to leave the room.

“I want to check something out. Why don’t you stay here, catch up with Chapman?” He tried to pull himself from my grip.

“James, I haven’t seen him since I was a kid.” I grabbed at his wrist again.

He sighed and faced me, hands on my shoulders. “It’ll be okay.”

I bit down hard and closed my eyes, sighing hard through my nose.

“Okay.” My voice was quiet.

“I’ll see you up in the room later?” He patted my cheek.

I nodded, slowly letting go of his wrists.

“Be careful.” I mumbled.

He kissed my forehead. “Of course, you too.”

I heard someone clear their throat from behind me. I breathed hard before turning myself around.

“Hey Irene.” Jack stood there, a gentle smile on his face.

I looked up at him. “Hey, Jack.”

“How’re you, kid?”

I broke into a grin, unsure of what else to say. He gingerly pulled me into a hug.

“I missed you, ya know.”

I hugged back, nodding even though I knew he couldn’t see it. “I missed you too.”

“Colonel told us ‘Conrad’, but I didn’t even think it could be your brother.” Jack finally pulled away, hands on my shoulders.

I only shrugged. “I didn’t exactly think I’d see you here either.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “You haven’t grown since you were twelve, have you?”

“Shut up.” I shoved him, laughing.

We both quieted down quickly. I sighed, twiddling with my fingers.

“How’s Billy?” I asked. Last time Jack had written to me, Billy was four years old.

Jack perked up at the mention of his son. “He’s doing good. Gracie’s sent me a few photographs. I can show you later if you’d like. He looks just like his momma.” He gushed.

“Well I would hope so. Jack, you’re uglier than a dog. I would feel bad if the poor kid looked like you.”

It was a teasing lie, of course. Jack was what I considered pretty, with dark hair that he always styled up at the front, tiny freckles that you could only see if you were close enough, and eyes that switched between shades of green like nobody’s business.

He narrowed his eyes at me. I narrowed mine right back before breaking out into another fit of laughter. He messed my hair up.

“Where’d your brother go? I was planning on introducing myself.” He hesitated on the word brother, but forced it out anyways, looking around the room.

I wasn’t exactly about to tell him that James had gone to snoop around the ship, so I just shrugged again.

“Not sure, he told me I should stay and talk to you. I don’t really think you need to formally introduce yourself, though. He knows all about you.”

Jack nodded. “I see. Do you wanna meet the rest of the boys? I’ve got a feeling they’ll just love you.” He extended his hand to me.

I smiled and took it. “Sure.”

Previous: N/A

Next: Photographs and Flirts

#kong skull island #skull island #james conrad x oc #jack chapman x oc #kong skull island fic #kong #king kong #reg slivko #reg slivko x reader #reg slivko x oc #james conrad #james conrad x sister!oc #james conrad x sister!reader #jack chapman #jack chapman x sister!reader #jack chapman x sister!oc #micwrites

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cienie-isengardu · 6 years ago

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MK11 INTROS - ERRON & KUAI LIANG

Comparing character banters of newest and previous game, I feel like somehow in the time gap between X and 11, the relationship between Erron and Grandmaster of Lin Kuei improved.

In MKX, Erron wasn’t that much familiar with Sub-Zero’s powers:

Sub-Zero: You...

Erron Black: All this snow your doing?

Sub-Zero: I use my abilities more aggressively.

Now, when facing cryomancer, he is like:

Erron: Should have brought my parka.

Sub-Zero: Can you aim while shivering?

Erron: These hands don't tremble.

As much as it’s hard to tell how seriously should be taken intro dialogues, I think Kuai Liang does not treat Black’s words as an insult or simply ignore the sarcasm and maybe he is just genuine(?) curious if Erron is capable of aiming (fighting) without any additional protection from cold…what sounds pretty nice, in contrast to some banters.

Frankly, Erron’s general view of Sub-Zero changed in a visible way. From arrogantly claiming bullets are better than “snowballs”

Erron Black: You're an easy target.

Sub-Zero: As are you.

Erron Black: Bullets beat snowballs any day

his current reaction to facing in fight Sub-Zero is:

Erron: Ugh. Not this fight again.

Sub-Zero: You would prefer someone's else?

Erron: Hell, I'd fight a goddamned space cowboy.

So, I assume, Erron does not have the best memories of their fight in forest, when Lin Kuei saved New Gen and defeated Kotal’s army. We don’t know if those two actually faced in duel that day but the cowboy’s whole response is pretty hilarious in itself. Even more, since Erron rarely admits that he would rather not fight someone and up until now he showed little fear (or respect) towards gods, emperor(s) and other hard-to-kill and overpowered beings. Yet with Sub-Zero? Not this fight again. Also, if he had a chance to choose, he would prefer to duel the space cowboy than facing Kuai Liang. What only adds to the hilarious aspect, because as far as I’m familiar with Black, he is quite “sensitive” to any mockery of cowboy/Old West traditions and space cowboy sounds more like some silly Cage’s role than something pleasing Black’s sense of aesthetics.

Generally, Erron is not person to back down from challenge, especially not when there is nice amount of money involved (and from the wanted posters we known Sub-Zero is worth 5.000.000 which is one of the highest prices) and yet even such money aren’t that motivating. Either Erron is aware he is most likely going to lost or he isn’t interested in attacking Kuai Liang thus is not happy to be approached/challenged by Lin Kuei Grandmaster when for once he minded his own business.

Kuai Liang’s view of Erron changed as well.

In MKX, Sub-Zero accused Erron for betrayal of their native realm

Sub-Zero: You betrayed your realm.

Erron Black: I followed the money.

Sub-Zero: You have followed it to your doom.

but now is asking for reason he is not fighting for Earth rather than judging him for that:

Sub-Zero: Why not fight for Earthrealm?

Erron: Drinks are stronger in Outworld.

Sub-Zero: A fool and his vice are soon departed.

First thing to note: Sub-Zero dropped the malicious tone seen in previous game - doom is tied more closely to being destroyed or killed than being departed. In second banter, Kuai Liang is gonna kick Erron back to Outworld, yes, but he does not threaten his life like before.

Interestingly, Erron’s answer is more witty this time than the previous one about doing it for money alone. Black admitted on few occasion he feels better in Outworld than in his native realm (and having fun is as much important as being paid well, it seems?). Back then he went for “nothing personal, just business” attitude and now he is telling Kuai Liang about thing(s) he enjoy and/or his preference. Does Kuai Liang believe him or not, is another matter but whatever if Erron’s comeback was serious or not (what is not easy to determine), still, in newest game Erron is much more open about himself than he was in MKX, to the point he told Cassie about his mother for no real reason beside that he thought mentioned mom would like her. Erron’s childhood most likely was not the happiest but I will address that in regard to Sub-Zero soon. For now, let’s note Erron right now is more at easy and dropped the “profesional act” in favor of witty comeback, the same as Kuai Liang is less likely to threaten his life.

Another thing to talk is this intro:

Sub-Zero: Guns are dishonorable weapons.

Erron Black: Rather be deadly than honorable.

Sub-Zero: Such folly will haunt you.

Kuai Liang, like some other characters, does not hold guns in high regards - this of course is a bit weird, considering fact that many of his closest allies (friends) use or were using guns at some point and there is no indication he despises them for that. It may be just Lin Kuei upbringing mixed with Mortal Kombat traditions in which people fight hand-to-hand, relying on their natural abilities and hard-earned skills.

Still, Kuai Liang is diplomatic here - he states his opinion on guns while not insulting Erron, like MKX!Reptile (“Only cowardss use firearmss!”) or MK11!Liu Kang (“Only cowards hide behind guns”) do. Frankly, even then Sub-Zero does not ridicule Erron’s guns as something trivial or non-threatening, like Tremor (“I laugh at your weapons.”) and Shinnok (“Weapons will prove ineffective.”) or MKX!Hanzo (“Mere firearms cannot stop me.”) did.

Black’s response is interesting on its own, because usually in such situations he was angered and his words carried a threat (“Gonna regret saying that.”, “Bad idea to insult me…”) yet this time he simply admits his preference to be deadly (alive) than honorable. What is more personal information than an actual taking offense.

Kuai Liang’s comeback may be seen as sort of insult; as in Erron is a fool but I rather see this as statement coming from Sub-Zero’s own life experiences. He (like Bi-Han and all Lin Kuei?) was once like Black; more concerned with being deadly than about honor. He was assassin, killing for money was what he did. But he died and went to Netherrealm and this place is a true hell. Sins do not go unpunished - even good people may be corrupted.. If one does not take care of his own honor (soul), his soul will go straight to the worst place in universe. Kuai Liang went there and he was changed into slave. That’s why I see it more as personal advice coming from experience - a warning that such attitude like Erron’s may come back to bite him some day and he will regret it. What is, again, more personal and polite than most character banters about Erron’s choice of weapons usually are.

Talking about guns, there is another important intro I will dissect into three matters.

Erron: Come for shooting lessons?

Sub-Zero: Are you offering, Erron Black?

Erron: Only to the quick and the brave.

One: the previous banter points out Kuai Liang sees guns as unhonorable weapon. Yet when asked if he came for shooting lessons (lessons?! Plural? Not one time offer then!), there is no bombastic talk how guns are below Lin Kuei or how much he despises them or that Erron is not worth his time. As Grandmaster. Kuai Liang is already top Earthrealm fighter and there is little people could teach him in regard to combat skills. But shooting? Not something Sub-Zero practiced much. New skill, even the less important one, gives a new perspective to improve (perfect) one's self. The strive for perfection is Lin Kuei trait, one Kuai Liang did not give up on. He may be surprised though, because Black is not someone giving his skills for free yet there is no mention of payment.

Even if Erron's offer was saractic (which I doubt, since he said „lessons”), his response is far away from joking or irony. Black is willing to teach (share his skills) which those he deem worthy. Since Erron already asked (thus offered), he sees Kuai Liang as one of the "fastest and brave". What I guess shouldn't surprise at all. Quite a lot of characters consider Sub-Zero to be great warrior to the point even Kotal an (ex)emperor wants him to train Outworld amies („Teach my army, Sub-Zero”).

The respect Erron holds for Kuai Liang is pretty nice, considering the fact he rarely keeps anyone in high regards. Also, Fun Fact: In Injustice 2, when Deadshot talks to Sub-Zero that he "has a bullet with your name on it", Kuai Liang responds "You are no Erron Black". So despite not liking guns, he has Erron’s markship skills in high regard, I guess.

Two: Kuai Liang and Erron Black are one of few characters that show a will to teach AND learns from others. Black already offered free(?) lessons to Sub-Zero and, sort of, asked Hanzo about spear throwing technique:

Erron: Don't s'pose you'd teach me that rope spear.

Scorpion: And divulge Shirai Ryu secrets?

Erron: I can make you share, Scorpion.

Black was quite sure Scorpion will not share clan secrets with him, yet he still showed interest in learning new thing.

Similar, Kuai Liang is known to train various people (New Gen., Special Forces, Frost) to the point Hanzo claims „Training outsiders is Sub-Zero’s passion” yet he is still willing to learn from others. It was seen above with Erron, when cowboy's offert was not turned down. Like Sub-Zero said, „A man's never too old to learn.”

Three: The improvement of Kuai Liang and Erron Black's relationship contrast with the change for worse(?) of Black and Scorpion's intros from MKX to MK11. Hanzo did not have good opinion on Erron in previous game – considered him Outworlder, did not want see any similarities between himself and mercenary. Now Hanzo outright says Shirai Ryu despite Black (not that he cares), that he understand little about his clan or that he has no respect for his own roots. Looking at those, Kuai Liang and Erron really somehow get from enemy to not-really-allies-but-not-despiting-each-other-people. They do not agree on everything, yet there is some respect between them. I guess, Erron works better with Sub-Zero, because the same as cryomancer, he is more cool-headed character than one relying on emotions like Hanzo.

Another intro:

Sub-Zero: Can you fight at close quarters?

Erron: Bet the farm on it, Sub-Zero.

Sub-Zero: You are betting your life

In which Kuai Liang show again interest in Erron's combat skills. It may be a genuine curiosity, or old habit of (ex)assassin to find weakness in opponent. Still, Kuai Liang's response to Black's self-confidence (or arrogance?) sounds more like another „life advice” than MKX!Sub-Zero typical „a serious error in judgment” answer he used to shot down other people's arrogant belief of their chance against him. I mean, Erron must be able to fight hand-to-hand, because Outworld is pretty dangerous place and like Kuai Liang said, he is betting his own life out there. Losing it will be much worse than losing farm (home) or material goods.

Looking how Kotal wish to hire Lin Kuei Grandmaster to train his (Kitana's?) army, one may wonder if Black was involved in negotiations – or more likely – carrying the message from Kahn to Lin Kuei Grandmaster and thus had a chance for some personal training / sparring with Sub-Zero.

Another interesting matter are things Kuai Liang and Erron have in common. I already mentioned their similar will to share knowledge (skills) and learning from others – quite rare trait in MK characters of Old Generation.

The other thing is lack of respect and faith in gods. What in itself is interesting, because Elder Gods are keep in high regard by Earthrealm (Raiden, Shaolin Monks) and apparently worshipped in Outworld too (not by everyone though, Tarkatans, Nankandas and Kytianns may disagree). Gods have real impact on fate of universe and people, this is fact hard to deny by mortals who took part in the latest events. Yet Kuai Liang and Erron aren’t fazed by gods walking among men. Quite opposite - they demand to learn a reason why they should pray to (or respect) gods:

Sub-Zero: The Lin Kuei do not worship the Elder Gods.

Cetrion: We seek gratitude, not worship.

Sub-Zero: I see no distinction.

Sub-Zero: Why should I pray to you?

Cetrion: Why does a bird flap its wings?

Sub-Zero: I asked a simple question.

and

Erron: And just why I should kneel in your church?

Cetrion: Have faith in your new god, Erron Black.

Erron: Like I take anything on faith.

Erron Black: Time for one of your heavenly lectures?

Raiden: You defy the will of the Elder Gods.

Erron Black: Damn straight.

Since they don’t worship or care much for gods’ will in general, they have some common ground to bond over. Even more when gods are either unhelpful or even harmful to their personal interest (like protecting Earthrealm or getting paid).

On side note, looking at hints about Erron’s past I wonder if his disrespect for faith and god(s) is not tied to the bad childhood he had. I guess, similar lack of respect that Kuai Liang shows from time to time may as well be a result of harsh growing up time Lin Kuei Temple.

Another common thing is that both are relicts of past. Erron is the old-schooled cowboy who wanders in Outworld full of wonderful and weird creatures, the lone Earthrealm looking for money and fun while Kuai Liang is the last of the old Lin Kuei clan, who lost family and friends and now alone faces sins of his clan and try to repair the damage done over the years. As such it is no wonder why they are more loner-type persons who keep their past mostly to themselves. Ironically, they are also the ones that do not avoid politeness.

I think we all may agree that Kuai Liang is one of the most polite (respectful) characters - albeit there is the impression that under politeness, Kuai Liang hides his emotional distance from others. Surprising for a merciless(?) mercenary, Erron shows from time to time his more polite nature - even if at times it sounds more ironic than anything else. It was especially seen in MKX intros, when he addressed Scorpion as Mr. Hasashi or Takeda as Mr. Takahashi or Kung Lao as Mr. Kung and even sometimes respectfully called Sonya or Cassie by their military rank rather than his standard “flirting”. MK11 has glimpses of this too (Erron Black: Hola, Mrs. Blade Cage. Sonya: Not that Sonya, asshole. Erron Black: Ain't you the sweet talker.) but it seems Erron is for most of time done with even pretending he cares about other people’s opinions about him. Still, he does not “skip” the introduction before fight. Which may be how he get somehow on better term with Kuai Liang despite all the bad stuff happening between Outworld and Earthrealm:

Sub-Zero: You approach me as a foe.

Erron Black: Depends on who's asking.

Sub-Zero': Allow me to introduce myself.

As much as Erron like to flirt with women (what is rarely, if even, welcomed by any female character), he has rocky relationship with pretty much all men. Shao Kahn is angry at Black cause he is not working for him and chose Kotal over Mileena. Jax sees him as scumbag with no code. Kano did not forget Erron left Black Dragons, while Raiden sees Erron as unworthy and in the service of evil. Johnny’s childish(?) attitude and jokes about westerns / cowboys do not amuse Black at all. Kollector has personal (death of brother) and “professional” (serving Shao Kahn) reasons to not like him. Hanzo despises Black and sees him just as thug. Liu Kang calls him coward and implies lack of skills. Noob Saibot is, well, Noob. Kabal and Kung Lao are closer to neutrality than disliking each other with Erron, but there is still vibe of challenging (boasting) or judging.

Even Kotal Kahn - a current boss of Black - faces the possibility that Erron may chose money over loyalty to him (albeit intros vs. Shao Kahn suggest Erron is not interested in killing Kotal on ex-emperor’s request). Hell, Erron is not really nice to his own self and would hurt the other without much guilt. From the amount of men, dialogue banters with Kuai Liang seems closer to politeness than I-see-you-as-a-lesser-man-than-me. Of course, there are matters that those two do not agree upon but at the same time, they don’t insult each other much, especially compared to their MKX intros.

Frankly, Erron complimented Kuai Liang twice.

Once in regard to skills (mentioned “Only to the quick and the brave”) another time about Sub-Zero’s look (uniform):

Erron: That's some outfit.

Sub-Zero: It honors Lin Kuei traditions.

Erron: Time to let past die.

Firstly, the amount of men that were complimented by Erron is really, really small. The other male character to hear anything nice is Kung Lao, both in MKX (“I like the hat.”) and MK11 (“One hat man to another, cool hat.”). Even if I’m reading wrongly Erron’s words, he rarely comments people’s choice (style) of clothing. Yet there is something in Kuai Liang’s uniform that catches his attention.

Secondly, since Erron is tied to Shang Tsung who himself had strong ties to Lin Kuei, I wonder if Black had a chance at some point if not meet Bi-Han, then at least saw or heard about him. He was after all mercenary working for sorcerer for like hundred years and later, he worked closely with Syzoth/Reptile, an another associate of Shang Tsung that also was present at Mortal Kombat Tournament that could provide some useful data about elder Sub-Zero. My feeling is that, Erron recognizes the true meaning of Kuai Liang’s uniform that not only honoring Lin Kuei traditions but his brother as well.

What may be a reason why Black’s final words are about letting past die. To move on. I mean, Kuai Liang reformed the clan and push Lin Kuei into more selfless direction as protectors of Earthrealm. Something that Kotal and his warriors (including Erron) had a chance to see for themselves during fight in forest (MKX). So what kind of traditions Sub-Zero could means? It’s not the assassin aspect to honor, because he changed that himself. Maybe it’s just the nature of clan, the strive for perfection and self-improvement - but then there is little reason for Erron to talk about putting the past in rest.

If the uniform is connected to Kuai Liang’s love/respect for fallen brother - who right now is an evil Wraith - Erron’s words sound like good life advice. I already talked how his own childhood was most likely awful, so I guess, Black himself came to term with his dark past (abuse) with passing time. To the point he is willing to tell Cassie about his mother - and other “tough women” he grew up around. Erron’s final words (“I hated Ma”) suggest it was something he used to do, but now may be not driven by such strong, negative emotion. In a way, Erron - by telling Sub-Zero to not “honor” past - may try tell him to stop hurting himself for something (someone) that brought so much pain to him. To let past die and focus on what is now, the same way Black did leave his own past (as in: the abusive family) behind him. Or may be not and it’s just me over-analyzing stuff again.

In short, I think Kuai Liang and Erron’s relationship improved over the years, from enemies who met on battlefield in fight Erron (and his boss) lost to something more on positive scale. Not friends, most likely not allies, but not men who despite each other either. I guess, put them together in one room and they will not try murder each other (like Kano with any member of Blade-Briggs-Cage family) or waste time insulting or annoying each other. They actually seems like people capable of holding polite and/or more personal(?) conversation or just use time to learn something from the other. Hell, maybe even have a nice drink and just spend time in more productive ways (learning, sparring) than looking for a mortal kombat-type of fight. Just two men chill enough to behave around each other like normal (or as much normal one can be in MK universe) adult people.

#mortal kombat #erron black #sub zero #kuai liang #mortal kombat 11 #mortal kombat x #bi han #my meta #my analysis #mortal kombat 11 intros #seriously i was going to write much shorter (lighter) meta #but nope #erron and kuai drag me into hell #of over analysing everything too much #on another hand i really can see them chilling together with good drink #and maybe bitching on elder gods and idiots that try ruin everything once again #or maybe working sort of together if sub zero will ever agree to train outworld warriors for some reasons

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silver-spider-art · 7 years ago

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Borderlands Head Canons

Okay so I have horrible depression writer's block rn and have been replaying all the borderlands games while also daydreaming all the stories I want to tell with these characters. So I’m just going to write out my head canons for shits and giggles cuz I have a lot of thoughts.

Handsome Jack:

Jack is such a wild card. He’s an overgrown toddler and an impatient genius. Also sexy as hell and a problematic fave. I spend so much time playing the game sassing and back talking him (like he can fucking hear me) but I still adore him. And relistening to some of the dialog lines I’ve built up a variety of head canon and AU ideas for him.

So canon vs fanon is a little squishy in my head but Moxxi claims his face is plastic surgery and I’m taking that to be more than the mask. He’s definitely ADHD and neurodivergent. Plus a good helping of PTSD and paranoia thanks to Grandma and trauma from his ex-wives. Those are all his starting points but he breaks into 3 categories based on Angel. Bad Dad, Okay Dad, and Good Dad.

Bad Dad is canon and tips the point of no return for Jack’s mental instability when Angel brutally (but accidentally) murders his wife/her mom. Afraid of his own daughter and horribly betrayed and without “the one good force” in his life, he starts down the path of ultimate Sheakspearian self-destruction. All relationships end tragically and he’s his own greatest enemy. As far as the wife goes, I’m 100% that she is on a pedestal in his head and while he can think no ill of her, the relationship wasn’t all roses.

Okay Dad, in AUs this would be where however his wife died or was lost it didn’t result in his fearing Angel (I normally leave this idea for modern!AUs without Siren powers). He is still overprotective and “doing it for your own good” but without the torture or horrific manipulation. Because of this, while Angel might still resent or hate him, he still has something to live for and is capable of somewhat decent relationships. Still, he rather sucks at it and more often than not is self-destructive. (my fave for writing and reading)

Good Dad, this is a strange and mysterious creature that is nearly unheard of. So often this feels so out of place. So much would have to change to create a catalyst in his life for him to turn out healthy. I mostly see this as a redemption arch thing. Where he might be able to turn it around and make amends given the right people around him.

The other thing I’ve been growing ever found of is trans!jack. He wears a ridiculous number of layers of clothing which is definitely hiding his soft gut, but I’m very fond of the idea that much of his bragging and defensiveness is overcompensation for his fear and trauma both from childhood abuse and gender. There is quite a bit in game dialog on the Jack vs John thing. For the trans!jack I’m actually loving the idea that when he came out and remade his life, he chose John and was hired in at Hyperion with them only knowing him as John. But as he got more comfortable with his new life (and Tassiter made him start hating his new name) he wanted to reclaim his birth name. That he’s always gone by the nickname Jack (born Jacqueline) and was now confident enough in presenting male (and helped by Nisha) that he would even let friends call him Jackie without feeling less masculine. (super self-indulgent reasonings for this)

Other random head canons, Jack is polysexual and pansexual. He prefers women romantically but usually has longer last relationships with men yet rarely thinks of them in the same light. He’s mostly into women powerful enough to crush him and while he is aggressive and into being on top, he’d make a shit dom. He’s impatient and easily losses himself to pleasure. He is, however, a very good sub but it takes a huge amount of trust for him to allow that. (this is also why he is so angry at his attraction to Rhys. Rhys is a soft nerd who can’t even fire a gun, the exact opposite of Jack’s type and he falls for him anyway.) Jack’s vanity knows no bound and he spends way too much time of his look every morning to look perfectly disheveled and like he doesn’t care. Also extremely attached to his favorite things with huge possessiveness (partially caused by aforementioned childhood trauma). Jack actually likes cats but hates being around then cuz old childhood pain. Jack is also complete and utter crap at taking about his feelings or opening up to people.

Timothy Lawrence:

So for dear Tim, my beloved favorite, I have 2 main categories, canon doppelganger or au brother.

Doppelganger: needing money he took a job as Jack’s body double and had plastic surgery to look like Jack. Depending on Jack (Bad/Okay/Good) his relationship turns out drastically different.

Bad ending poor Tim gets branded and has to fell his possessive and deranged boss and spends his life masked on Pandora as a mercenary. Always hiding his face for fear of those who want revenge on the man whose face he wears.

Okay fate, he and Jack are lovers. They fight a lot and Tim’s most often catchphrase is “damn it, Jack” but in the end, Jack is his asshole. Their relationship is polyamorous and stable. But Tim is often in the shadows and overlooked, partially by choice.

Good end? This is so rare I have no idea.

Twin/Brother: having grown up together they get Jack’s asshole and abusing Grandmother and Tim’s “laughs at your death” mother. Having one family member and someone he can always fall back on to help him and someone to be a hero for, Jack never goes full Bad ending. Despite all their fighting and issues, they balance each other out. Always falls in the Okay category of Jack’s relationship to Angel.

But I’ve been working out the redemption arch to lead to a Good Dad ending. Jack actually being self-sacrificing for once and giving up something he wants for his brother's happiness. One idea is that both he and Tim are both pursuing Rhys but after some inciting incidents, Jack comes to realize that his family and friends are happier with Rhys in their lives and Jack knows that he’ll just ruin it like he’d started to do. I can see this beautiful scene of Jack seeing Tim and Rhys talk at a party and seeing Angel come up to join them. His heart aches because he wants that to be himself in Tim’s place but knows it would never happen. That in the end, he’s poison. So he chooses to give up. To let that peaceful scene be reality. That he can accept his claim on Rhys just being as family and not as lover. And that moment of clarity and change of focus helps get him on the path to repairing his relationship with Angel and his brother. Never a smooth ride and he fails a lot, but it does get better.

But back to Tim.

Tim/Rhys is life. I love these two together like nothing else. Jack/Tim and Jack/Rhys is always unstable and huge potential for unhealthy. But Tim/Rhys is heaven and precious and good.

Tim loves cats and sweaters. He wants to write an epic fantasy story but has no faith in his abilities. He’s anxious and terrified of heights but he will be it anyway even while white with fear. He has a huge cybernetic kink he doesn’t want to admit to. Tim dated Wilhelm until the end and still deeply cares for the huge quiet man. While Tim dislikes blood and guts, he found he was actually really good and fighting. After he started the body double gig he got swoll and has stayed in shape since (his own vanity showing). He’s covered in freckles and tans dark in the sun. His voice can be very awkward and scratchy but confidence and vocal training helps that in the non-canon or modern!au settings. Tim is a much better fighter than Jack and can handle any weapon thrown into his hands (I mean just look at his skill tree in game) but he always holds himself back outside of combat and thinks of himself as weak. Despite his skill, he lacks confidence and in the bad endings always believes Jack is actually stronger than him.

Rhys:

My boy. Rhys is trans and autistic. He works very hard to make sure it doesn’t show. He volunteered to get the eye and experimental echo port in order to help compensate for his mental limitations and further enhance his positive skills. His cybernetic arm was also technically voluntary and for badass points he always claims so, but he wasn’t giving up a “perfectly good arm” but a barely functioning arm that always caused him chronic pain due to a poorly healed childhood injury. He stared in Data Mining and while he refused to act in violence to advance, Rhys has very gray morals and had done plenty of shady things to advance in Hyperion. He never had a problem with killing in the vague sense, just not wanting to get his hands dirty directly. This does change slowly, but he still hates guns. They are just very hard for him. When he must fight, melee is the way he goes. Rhys got his chest tattoos after his top surgery to disguise the scars. like his flashy cybernetics, his main goals are “if I have to stand out I want them looking at me because I’m too pretty to look away from”. He tries to fake it till he makes it with confidence even when he has no idea what’s happening.

He always looks everything up on the EchoNet and panics when his connection to it is cut off. It’s his safety net/blanket in many ways. The more the situation is out of control and not following his plan, the more his anxieties act up and leave him vulnerable. This is how Jack easily manipulates him when everything is going to hell. He needs more time to think through things then the chaos of Pandora allowed. Once he’s used to the wasteland and it’s people, this is less of an issue. (Hyperion Rhys vs Atlas Rhys)

His special interests are colorful socks, Handsome Jack (he regrets that deeply after meeting the man), and his new interest is A.I.s. Though Rhys is very into his cybernetics and has moded them some, he can’t build them. His skills are haking, programming, and coding. His old goals where to get a job in digital security or programming once he could get out of data mining. Now as Atlas CEO his pet project has been building and refining A.I.

Random: Rhys is bisexual and leans a bit poly. He is sex positive but doesn’t have to have it in a relationship. He will follow along with most all his partner's kinks as it’s most important for him that they are having fun together. Soft fluff and cuddles are what he lives for though. (everything about this is super self-indulgent)

Angel:

Angel is autistic. It puts her in an especially dangerous/vulnerable position with her powers and Bad Dad Jack doesn’t know what to do with her without his wife to help. He loves his baby girl dearly, but he’s lost and doesn’t know how to help her. In the end, he uses her to fuel his own obsessions and the veneer of childhood is stripped from her eyes as resentment sets in. She lost her father long ago and now only wants release. Like Tim, she could have tried to kill him herself, but while she can and does betray him, he’s still her father in the end.

Okay Dad Jack, (mostly modern!aus) struggles with how to raise Angel but genuinely tries his best. His second marriage was entirely to have a mom for her, knowing he was a shit parent. That wasn’t a good marriage and Angel still didn’t get a mom out of it. Angel goes up angry and resentful of her dad and often refuses to call him anything but Jack. She’s angry that he still treats her like a child. She can’t live on her own and needs assistance in common tasks due to her limitations, but can’t stand being treated childishly like his always buying her unicorn themed things and his insistence on not swearing. She struggles to understand that Jack needs these things for himself too and they both just suck at communicating to each other. They circle around each other, in a strange dance, more like roommates than family. Angel works for Jack as his security expert and hacker/spy. She was instrumental in him taking over Hyperion.

Good Dad... like beforementioned, this is hardly a thing. The good times are mostly in her early youth.

Angel is a lesbian and in okay or good settings falls for Gaige. Jack is very not okay with his daughter dating an openly Anarchist Anti-Cooperate Terrorist who has built death machines. They met online and spend nearly every night having hour long conversations. Gaige makes her feel more normal and nonbroken than anything else in her life ever has.

Random:

Tiny Tina is trans. I read this in a fic and it’s just canon now.

Zer0 is a nonbinary cyborg. They have had most of their body replaced and generally don’t want to be human, so they took matters into hand to make that happen. They feel kinship for Rhys because of this and are growing fond of the awkward man and proud of his bravery foolishness for going into battle despite having no skill. Zer0 and Tim fight well side by side but they do NOT get along outside of combat.

Nisha is aromantic and pansexual and only doms. Her whip very much is used in the bedroom. She and Jack are always off again on again.

Maya is aro/ace and a total badass.

Sasha and Rhys date for a while but end it mutually finding they fit better as friends than lovers.

Gaige helps Rhys make his new cybernetics and he has to argue with her to not install more than one weapon in the new arm or lasers in his eye.

Wilhelm was always going to die of Bone Waste and the surgeries and cybernetics were just delaying the inevitable. Jack set him up to die, but it was willingly on Wil’s part because he didn’t want to die in a hospital but in a huge and epic fight that would be the stuff of legends.

Vaughn is aromantic and sex nonpulsed and he and Rhys are platonic bros for life. Rhys is 100% okay with this and anyone else in his life has to accept his deep love for his bro.

(I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot, but this is long enough for now, oops)

#borderlands #tales from the borderlands #borderlands head canon #handsome jack #timothy lawrence #rhys the company man #random ramblings #My writing #long post

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lodelss · 5 years ago

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Soraya Roberts | Longreads | January 2020 | 9 minutes (2,284 words)

I hate jocks. Like a good Gen X’er, I walked around my high school with that patch on my backpack — red lettering, white backdrop, frisbee-size. A jock high school. It’s impossible to overstate the contempt I had for sports as a kid. I hated what I took to be phony puddle-deep camaraderie, the brain-dead monosyllabic mottos, the aggressive anti-intellectualism. More than that, there appeared to be a very specific cruelty to it. The way there were always a couple of kids who were always picked last. The collective bullying if someone didn’t measure up to the collective goals. And none of the teachers ever seemed to be as mean as the coaches. They strutted around like grown children, permanently transfixed by the ambitions of their adolescence, actively excluding the same kids they had mocked in their youth.

When I hear about sports stars who kill or commit suicide or generally behave antisocially, I always think: no wonder. In a culture that destroys your body and your mind, no wonder. It’s something of a paradox, of course, because, as we are repeatedly told, physical activity is often essential to psychological health. But why is it so rarely the other way around? I watch Cheer and I watch Killer Inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez and I watch former NBA star Delonte West get callously thrashed and I wonder why these athletes’ inner lives weren’t as prized as their motor skills. That’s not true; I know why. It suits a lucrative industry that shapes you from childhood to keep you pliable. And what makes you more pliable than mental instability? What better way to get a winning team than to have it populated with people for whom winning validates their existence and for whom losing is tantamount to death?

* * *

There’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment in the Hernandez doc when there’s an unexpected crossover with Cheer. A childhood photo of the late NFL star and convicted murderer flashes on-screen as we learn that his female cousins made him want be a cheerleader. It was the same for Cheer’s La’Darius Marshall, who is shown in one snapshot as a young cheerleader, having discovered the sport after hanging out with one of his childhood girlfriends. Both men came from dysfunctional backgrounds: Marshall’s mom was a drug user who ended up in prison for five years. He was sexually abused, not to mention beaten up by his brothers; Hernandez found his own mother distant, and he was also physically and sexually abused. Both found solace in sports, though Hernandez had the kind of dad who “slapped the faggot right out of you,” per one childhood friend, so he ended up in football, his dad’s sport, instead. But their similarities underscore how professional athletics, when so closely tied to a person’s sense of self, can simultaneously be a boon to your mental health and its undoing.

Killer Inside is a misnomer for a start. Everything pointed to Hernandez’s conviction for murdering another footballer (semipro linebacker Odin Lloyd) — or at the very least a fair amount of psychological distress. (I’m not certain why the doc chose to focus on his sexuality — besides prurience — as it seemed to be the least of his concerns.) As he said himself to his mom, who almost immediately replaced her dead husband with Hernandez’s cousin’s husband when he was just a teenager: “I had nobody. What’d you think I was gonna do, become a perfect angel?” The way he fled from his home straight into the arms of a University of Florida football scholarship, having wrapped up high school a semester early, is telling. Football made him somebody. He depended on being a star player because the alternative was being nothing — as one journalist says in the doc, at Florida you had to “win to survive.”

If the NFL didn’t know the depth of his suffering, they at least knew something, something a scouting service categorized as low “social maturity.” Their report stated that Hernandez’s responses “suggest he enjoys living on the edge of acceptable behavior and that he may be prone to partying too much and doing questionable things that could be seen as a problem for him and his team.” But his schools seemed to care more about his history of drug use than his high school concussion (his autopsy would later show chronic traumatic encephalopathy) or the fact that he busted a bar manager’s eardrum for confronting him with his bill. Physical pain was something you played through — one former linebacker described a row of Wisconsin players lining up with their pants down to get painkiller injections — and psychological pain was apparently no different. “It’s a big industry,” the ex-linebacker said, “and they’re willing to put basically kids, young men, in situations that will compromise their long-term health just to beat Northwestern.”

Cheerleading, the billion-dollar sport monopolized by a company called Varsity Brand, has a similarly mercenary approach. While the money is less extreme — the NFL’s annual revenue is more than $14 billion — the contingent self-worth is not. A number of the kids highlighted in Cheer had the kind of childhoods that made them feel like Hernandez, like they had nobody. Morgan Simianer in particular, the weaker flyer who is chosen for her “look,” radiates insecurity. Abandoned by both her parents, she was left as a high school sophomore in a trailer with her brother to fend for herself. “I felt, like, super alone,” Simianer said. “Like everyone was against me and I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t important to anyone.” Though Marshall’s experience was different, his memories of growing up are almost identical to his fellow cheerleader’s. “I felt like I was really alone,” he said. “There was nobody that was gonna come save me.” Like Hernandez, sports was all they had.

And if a competitive sport defines you, then its coach controls you. Hernandez’s father, the ex-football heavyweight, was known as the King; Monica Aldama, the head coach on Cheer, is the Queen. Describing how she felt when Aldama remembered her name at tryouts, Simianer said, “It was like I’m not just nobody.” For her ability to literally pummel a bunch of college kids into a winning team in half the regular time, Aldama has been characterized as both a saint and a sinner. While she claims to be an advocate for the troubled members of her team, she fails to see how their histories skew her intentions — her position as a maternal figure whose love is not unconditional ultimately puts the athletes more at risk. Aldama proudly comments on Simianer’s lack of fear, while it is a clear case of recklessness. This is a girl who is unable to express her pain in any way sacrificing her own life (literally — with her fragile ribs, one errant move could puncture an organ) for the woman who, ironically, made her feel like she was worthy of it. “I would do anything for that woman,” Simianer confesses at one point. “I would take a bullet for her.” Jury’s out on whether Marshall, the outspoken outsize talent who regularly clashes with his team, would do the same. His ambivalent approach to Aldama seems connected to how self-aware he is about his own struggles, which affords him freedom from her grasp. After she pushes him to be more empathetic, he explains, “It’s hard to be like that when you are mentally battling yourself.”

That Cheer and Killer Inside focus on the psychological as well as the physical strain faced by athletes — not to mention that athletics have no gender — is an improvement on the sports industries they present, which often objectify their stars as mere pedestals for their talents. The Navarro cheerleaders and Hernandez are both helped and hurt by sports, an outlet which can at once mean everything and nothing in the end. This is the legacy of the 1994 documentary Hoop Dreams, which followed two teen NBA hopefuls and was as much about the intersections of race and class as it was about basketball. Not to mention OJ: Made in America, the 2016 ESPN miniseries that explored how the story of the football star and alleged murderer reflected race relations in the United States in the mid-’90s. Conversely, mainstream film and television continues to be heavily male when it comes to sports, focusing on individual heroics, on pain leading to gain — the American Dream on steroids. Cheer and Killer Inside expose this narrative for the myth it is, spotlighting that all athletes have both minds and bodies that break, that their legacies as human beings are not about what they have won but who they are. But the climate in which they’ve landed cannot be ignored either, a social-media marinated world in which sports stars are no longer just players but people who are willing to be vulnerable with their public, who are even further willing to sign their names next to their problems for The Players’ Tribune, the six-year-old platform populated by content provided by pro athletes. “Everyone is going through something,” wrote NBA star Kevin Love in an industry-shaking post in 2018. “No matter what our circumstances, we’re all carrying around things that hurt — and they can hurt us if we keep them buried inside.”

Fast-forward to that new video of former basketball pro Delonte West, the one of him having his head stomped on so hard in the middle of the street that I still wonder how he survived it. He also came from an underprivileged, unstable background. He chose the college he did for its “family atmosphere.” Like Simianer, he fixated on his failures and played with abandon. Like her, he also had trouble verbalizing his feelings, to the point that they would overflow (in anger for him, tears for her). Though he says he was diagnosed with a bipolar disorder, he considers his biggest problem to be “self-loathing.” But why? He was a sports star who signed a nearly $13 million contract in his prime — what better reason for self-love? A study published two years ago in the Research Quarterly for Exercise and Sport, profiling the psychological well-being of 99 elite athletes, may provide an answer. The study found that those with high perfectionism, fear of failure, and performance-based self-worth had the highest levels of depression, anxiety, shame, and life dissatisfaction. Those with a more global self-worth that did not depend on their performance had the opposite outcome. As if to provide confirmation, a subsequent study published in Psychology of Sport and Exercise that same year revealed that athletes with contingent self-esteem were more likely to burn out. When sports become your only source of value, your wins ultimately don’t come to much.

* * *

The irony of all of this is that I came back to sports as an adult for my mental health. Obviously, I’m not an elite athlete — whatever the opposite of that is, I am. But having no stakes makes it that much easier to use physical activity for good. Nothing is dependent on it; that I’m moving at all is victory enough. But my circumstances are different. My jock high school was a private school, sports were (mostly) optional, and elite academics were where most of us found validation — and financial stability. “Conventional wisdom suggests that the sport offers an ‘escape’ from under-resourced communities suffering from the effects of systemic neglect,” Natalie Weiner writes in SB Nation. “If you work hard enough and make the right choices — playing football being one of the most accessible and appealing ways for boys, at least, to do that — you should be safe.” This reminds me of Aldama telling a room of underprivileged kids with limited prospects, “If you work hard at anything you do, you will be rewarded, you will be successful in life.” This is the American Dream–infused sports culture the media has traditionally plugged — the one, ironically, dismantled by the show in which Aldama herself appears. As Spike Lee tells a group of the top high school basketball players in the country in Hoop Dreams: “The only reason why you’re here, you can make their team win, and if their team wins, schools get a lot of money. This whole thing is revolving around money.”

In the same SB Nation article, which focused on how school football coaches combat gun violence, Darnell Grant, a high school coach in Newark, admitted he prioritized schoolwork, something both Cheer and Killer Inside barely mentioned. “My thing is to at least have the choice,” he said. Without that, kids are caught in the thrall of sports, which serves the industry but not its players. Contingent self-worth does the same thing, which is why mental health is as much of a priority as education. The head football coach at a Chicago high school, D’Angelo Dereef, explained why dropping a problematic player — which is basically what happened to Hernandez at U of F, where coach Urban Meyer pushed him into the NFL draft rather than taking him back — doesn’t fix them. “They’re not getting into their brains to figure out why,” Dereef told the site. “It’s like putting a Band-Aid on a big cut — that’s not going to stop the bleeding.” While the NBA was the first major sports league to address mental health in its collective bargaining agreement in 2018, in mid-January the WNBA signed its own new CBA, which only vaguely promised “enhanced mental health benefits and resources.” That the sports industry as a whole does not go far enough to address the psychological welfare of its players is to their detriment, but also to their own: At least one study from 2003 has shown that prioritizing “athletes’ needs of autonomy” — the opposite of contingent self-worth — as opposed to conformity, has the potential to improve their motivation and performance. In sports terms, that’s a win-win.

* * *

Soraya Roberts is a culture columnist at Longreads.

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lodelss · 5 years ago

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Be a Good Sport

Soraya Roberts | Longreads | January 2020 | 9 minutes (2,284 words)

* * *

Soraya Roberts is a culture columnist at Longreads.

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#IFTTT #Blogger

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