#just like: NO NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HOMEWRECK BEAR'S RELATIONSHIP

[introspectivememories]

#i kinda get the feeling that Bernard is very involved in the local lgbt community#like going by things he's said#you know he joins rallies and protests#but i also picture him doing other things too#like cooking classes for disenfranchised youth#pop up free kitchens for homeless queer youth#like runs an ad hoc food bank specifically to help this marginalised community#yes i am running with#chef bernard dowd#but really thinking he's like heart of the community#Tim doesn't yet know this#because he's too busy cheating on Bernard with Robin#the Marina community tolerate RR but also want to shank him#several then point out to Bernard that that Mr Reddington Hood is a stand up protector of the disenfranchised#and he's likely single via @arcticlutra

THE MARINA TRYING TO HOOK BEAR UP WITH JASON.....

BERNARD GETS THE MARINA IN THE DIVORCE CANON!!!

[solemnly-mischievous]

Could pls you write something where the marauders and you are taking about your safe word and boundaries?!

Thanks! <33

hell yeah! remember kids, if you're gonna engage in Practices of Dominant and Submissive Dynamics, these talks are always very important and essential and good. consent is sexy. stay safe. all that.

also, i'd never claim to be an expert on the topics they talk about - if i get anything off or word anything poorly, do tell me and i'll amend that.

anyway also the things they put on their hard limit list are not off the table for future fics, so keep that in mind :)

Contains: Fluff, discussion of bodily fluids & cnc, mentions of degradation and praise

Word count: 1.5K

------

It's about one AM in the Gryffindor common room, and all your housemates are asleep—the only sound you can hear is the crackling of the fireplace and the sound of pages turning as Remus flips through his book.

You're laying in Remus' lap, his fingers combing absentmindedly through your hair and massaging your scalp. It feels so good.

"Oi—watch the cakes—"

"You watch your stupid feet, Prongs, you're stepping on my cloak—"

"—I swear to god if you drop the pumpkin juice, I'll throw you and your bloody cloak into the fire—"

"Merlin, James, shut up, you're so loud—"

You hear Remus huff a soft laugh and you smile along: Your boyfriends are many things, but stealthy and discreet are not one of them. One would think the infamous pranksters of Hogwarts would be better at sneaking around in the dead of night—but then again, who needs to be light on their feet when there are charms and Invisibility Cloaks?

James and Sirius enter the common room as quietly as they can manage—which is to say, not that quiet at all—each bearing a large plate full of midnight snacks and drinks they've retrieved from the kitchen. (The house elves are always more than happy to see them.)

"Aw, look at them," Sirius murmurs to James, and he nods, a soft smile tugging at his lips as he looks at you and Remus. It's certainly a heartwarming scene, and you'd be content to stay there forever, but something's missing.

"C'mere," you whisper to the boys, holding your arms out and making grabby hands. "Cuddle."

They're more than happy to oblige, setting the plates on the table in front of the couches and piling on, Sirius leaning against Remus' shoulder and James sitting on the floor in front of you and Remus. You reach out and tug at his curls affectionately—he leans into the touch.

"We brought you your favorite chocolate cakes," James murmurs to you. "The elves made more just for you—even they know you love them. Oh, and Remus—there's pumpkin juice for you."

"Thank you," Remus says warmly, ruffling James' hair as he reaches by to grab a goblet. "Did you say hi to the elves for me?"

"Yeah," Sirius says, "they miss you and they're going to file for divorce if you don't visit them soon."

"Divorce? From all of them?" Remus' tone is laughing. "I don't think I could handle the legal fees."

"Who'd get custody?" you wonder.

"Besides, Moony knows he's married to us, if not legally but in spirit. When you think about it, Moony's a homewrecker," James jokes, and Sirius cackles in delight.

Your eyelids droop as Remus scratches along your scalp lightly, and Sirius catches you. "Hey, hey, wait, we're not sleeping yet. We have things to talk about."

"Talk about them faster," you mumble, and James laughs.

"Alright, alright," Remus says amiably. "We'll make it fast so you can get to sleep soon, alright? But you're gonna need to be coherent and awake right now, okay?"

"Fine," you whine, and you ease into a sitting position so you aren't tempted to fall asleep right there.

"Good girl," Sirius murmurs, and you shiver involuntarily.

"Okay, none of that right now—clear heads, all of us," Remus says. He looks at you and gives you a small smile. "There'll be plenty of time for that later."

"So how do we start?" Sirius asks. "Do we just... talk about what works, what doesn't?"

"I think we should start with the safeword." Remus hums thoughtfully. "You guys know the stoplight system?"

You and James shake your heads; Sirius nods.

"Green for go on, yellow for slow down, red for stop," Remus explains. "It's important to check in consistently, so we can be sure everything's alright."

"Wait, so yellow is..." You trail off.

"Yellow is, er, we don't need to stop, but I'm not one hundred percent comfortable or confident in what we're doing right now, so can we slow down and talk about it or change what we're doing?" Sirius explains, and you nod.

"Ah." You think about it. "Right, yeah, I think the stoplight system sounds fine."

"Same," James says, and Sirius voices his agreement.

In all your time at Hogwarts, the early years especially, never in a million years would you have thought you'd be here right now—in a polyamorous relationship with the troublemakers of the grade, discussing safewords and kink negotiations.

But what's life without a few surprises?

"We can all use the colors," Remus adds, "even if we're not the one subbing. Anyone can check in at anytime. Okay?"

Once that's been established, he pushes forward with, "Okay, so nitty-gritty: What are our boundaries? What do we not want to touch with a ten-foot pole?"

"No bodily fluids," James puts forth, "except for, well, you know. Just spit and come, I think. No blood or piss or anything like that."

You nod. "I don't wanna draw blood. Pain is okay, like bruises and bitemarks or the like, but I don't know about actual... wounds and stuff. For now, at least."

Remus nods. "Absolutely."

"Oh," Sirius says, looking vaguely bashful—which is a sight, because the Sirius Black, looking shy? "Um. I like to dom, right? Like usually, I do. But when I switch and sub, er, I don't like to be degraded. I love doing the degrading, but I don't know about being the degraded one."

Knowing Sirius' past, you understand completely. The rest of the Marauders nod as well, and James shifts towards Sirius, leaning against his leg in a comforting gesture. Sirius smiles at him, soft and affectionate.

"How about you, Moony?" you ask Remus.

"Hm." He thinks about it for a second. "I don't think I would want to do consensual non-consent."

"What's that?" James pokes at Remus' leg.

"Like, when you agree beforehand that a scene is going to be... Non-consensual. Usually, it's so the sub can pretend to struggle and protest and fight back and such. It's a fantasy, kinda like a coping mechanism, and I get it, and I respect people who do like it, but I don't think it's for me."

"So, all in all," Sirius summarizes, "No bodily fluids, no blood, no forced fantasies."

"Sums it up about right," James agrees. "And no degradation for when you're subbing."

"Yep."

"If at any time we think of something that we want to add to the hard-limit list," Remus says, "just say it. Even if it's the middle of a scene or anything, consider this a priority."

Sounds of agreement and understand come from the three of you.

"Also, just for a semi-reference," Sirius says, "I'm a switch, with a lean for being dominant. Remus is... I think, just dominant?"

Remus inclines his head. "I've never had the urge to sub, yet. Again, things might change."

Personally, you thought the idea of Remus on his knees, begging for the three of you, was very appealing, but that's up to Remus to decide.

"I'm also a switch, but I don't know if I have a lean," James pipes up. "I enjoy both equally, it just kind of depends on the moment."

Sirius nods, then looks at you. You're in the middle of leaning over James' head to nab a chocolate cake from the platter—the epitome of grace and dignity.

"I'm a switch," you say, chocolate cake in hand, "with a submissive lean. Like, I think... I think one day, I'd like to try to dom. Maybe. But usually I'm more than happy to sub."

"What a well-balanced group we are," James comments, and Remus snickers.

You yawn right on cue, and Sirius laughs. "Getting too tired, are we?"

"Yeah, but! I was absolutely clearheaded through all that. Fully concentrated. No distractions."

James eyes your chocolate cake.

"One distraction."

"I suppose we can talk about other things another night," Remus says, as your eyelids flutter again with tiredness.

"Other things?" James asks.

"Yeah. Specific kinks, stuff we'd like to try. Rules, corresponding punishments..." The werewolf winks at you. "Rewards."

"I like rewards," you murmur sleepily.

"For another night," Sirius agrees, yawning as well. He looks sadly at the two plates of goodies stacked on the table. "We got all that food for nothing."

"Nah, we can bring it back up to our dorm and charm it so it doesn't go bad," James says. "No worries."

"Right, right. Alright, you grab one plate, Remus grabs the other, I'll take her back up."

"Hey, why do you get to take her?"

"Because I said it first," Sirius maintains, like the dignified adult he is, and scoops you up before any of the other Marauders can protest.

You fall asleep that night on James' bed, in his warm embrace and surrounding by the calming sounds of your boyfriends' steady breathing. All in all, it hasn't been a bad night at all.

[idealisticrealism]

Where do you think the writers are going with the Nadia & Arman & Robert triangle? Arman seemed jealous of Nadia last ep but the writers also fired up Armony again. (loved those Armony moments!!) I think Eva D said in an interview that Nadia won't betray Arman but tensions seem to be rising for sure. I can't see him walking away from Thony at this point.

You'd think that after the insane amount of words I just wrote for my 2x04 recap that I'd try to keep this short... but apparently I am just literally incapable of that when it comes to this show.

But anyway. I have no idea if this will really answer your question, but I'll give it a try. Just bear in mind that I don't look at spoilers so I have no idea what actually lies ahead in this show, I'm just going on what makes sense to me based on what we know of these characters and what we've seen so far in the season.

So, the way I see it, this season needed two things:

a Big Bad with an interesting arc

a way to separate Nadia and Arman, to create room for Armony

What better way to achieve those things than with the same person? Enter Robert, who (at least, as it seems to me) is the linchpin of the season: he's Nadia's ex who clearly still desires her; he has forced Arman into business with him, and now has power over this choices and actions; and he is apparently deeply involved in the drug ring that Garrett is trying to bust, which means Thony is connected to him on two sides-- through being Arman's life business partner, and through Garrett forcing her involvement with Maya.

So, for Robert's plotline to be high enough stakes, it needs to seem like he will actually destroy Arman and everything he's built; and for that to happen, it would likely require a betrayal from Nadia, who knows where Arman is weakest. Which means that we as an audience need to feel that there's actually a genuine possibility of her doing that, and the way to do that is to have her pull away from Arman and move towards uniting herself with Robert.

How perfect, then, that this also allows for the other main plotline of the season, and the one we're all here for: Armony.

I think the writers know that in S1, we viewers were able to put aside the discomfort of the infidelity angle to an extent (I know I absolutely did, and infidelity is usually one of my total deal-breakers)-- and they aided us in that in a few ways, like by making Marco an absolutely terrible husband, and pretty much making it clear that his and Thony's marriage would have already ended before she left for the US if divorce was legal in The Philippines; by having Nadia and Arman's relationship often being portrayed as somewhat businesslike, or even tense and antagonistic at times, where even the more tender parts were generally from Arman reacting to Thony being unobtainable; and by having Armony be just so damn entrancing, but also having them be (relatively) restrained, both of them almost always hiding their emotional connection behind other things, like saving Luca or dealing with the FBI.

After Arman almost being blown up, though, and then being thrown in prison with a man who wanted him dead, and then having to put everything on the line for his freedom, it forced he and Nadia closer again-- partly because yes, there is genuine love there, but also because Nadia knows the life she adores depends on the money and power Arman possesses, and without him she risks going back to having/being nothing; and also partly because Arman feels honour-bound to her, not just as his wife, but as someone who helped save him and who now relies on him for survival.

So how the hell do you make Armony happen in the face of all that, without making Thony look like a homewrecker and Arman look like a dishonourable, ungrateful asshole?

Easy. You have Armony do their best to keep their distance for a few episodes, while still demonstrating Arman prioritising Thony's needs even at the detriment of his and Nadia's own situation-- and all the while, having Robert shower Nadia with respect and appreciation, reminding her how it feels to be desired and adored above all others. Before long, you have Nadia-- proud, self-respecting, slightly spiteful Nadia-- deciding "Alright Hubby, you want to put this other woman's needs above mine? Well, two can play at that game" and cozying herself right up to Robert again.

And ta-da! You suddenly have a marriage where both parties are pulling away from the other in favour of being with someone else, which is so much more comfortable for viewers than seeing Nadia as the loving and dedicated wife who is trying to cling to her husband while he ditches her to get it on with Thony. It's more comfortable for both Arman and Thony, too-- Thony genuinely likes Nadia and doesn't want her getting hurt, hence why she has always stopped things between her and Arman before they could go too far (and of course in S1 it was also because of her own marriage, though that is obviously no longer a factor, thank god). And Arman himself will definitely be relieved to feel the grip of his marriage loosening, though tbh it's still going to be complicated for him-- he'll be stuck between wanting the freedom to be with Thony (and respecting that it's absolutely Nadia's right to leave him), but also feeling like he needs to keep her from allying herself with Robert because of the serious consequences it could have for himself in terms of his business/his debt (and subsequently, the consequences for Thony, who won't be able to run her own cleaning business/clinic without him and his money/connections).

That struggle is going to be a central theme of the season, as is the question (like mentioned above) of 'will Nadia betray Arman and help Robert destroy him?'. And tbh, I don't think she will-- it might look like it, right up until the end, but she won't. Honestly, my dream is that she will fulfil the role of Robert's pretty little plaything until the time is right, and then she'll turn around and betray Robert, taking his entire empire out from under him, and proving she was never just a prize to be won or a possession to be owned. Then the season can end like a matching sequel to the first-- with Robert (like Hayak) either dead or in jail, and Nadia taking her rightful place on his throne, finally getting all the power and respect she's always wanted, while leaving Arman and Thony free to run their own little medical enterprise and live happily ever after like the two idiots in love that they are.

Is that what will actually happen? Probably not, sadly! But still, there's always hope lol-- and honestly, whatever does happen, I really do believe Armony will get through it just fine.

(Whether we fangirls survive is another matter entirely).

Well, anyhow, there's my thoughts lol. I guess the TL;DR is that Robert exists as a romantic counterweight to Thony, and that this season we will see Nadia/Arman turn into Nadia/Robert and Arman/Thony, just as we'll see all the complications that come from those complex connections and interactions and loyalties-- and damn if that ain't gonna be great to watch.

[altruistic-meme]

AFTG fic recs

Hi all! I just wanted to share some of my all-time favorite fanfics for aftg, for no real reason other than I want more people to read them and send their love to the authors :) 

Under a readmore because it got. A little long. But please enjoy!

WIPs

Dangerous Habits by LovelyLittleGrim ( @lovelylittlegrim )

Andrew has run into problems while on undercover jobs before. None of those problems were anything like the troublesome runaway that is one Nathaniel Wesninski

Aka: the fic where Andrew is undercover as a hitman for hire and Neil is the guy who hires him. Things get complicated from there.

Undercover Andrew? BAMF Neil? Hitman AU?? Absolutely. I’m in love. The story is just *chef kisses*

Chapters: 8/9

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, past rape/non-con, Drake Spear (who is his own warning), Butcher Neil, 

--

Negotiations by elesary ( @elesary )

This is what Andrew Minyard knows: his brother is dead, killed by a petty Raven prince who has never learned to keep his hands off of Andrew's things. His brother's daughters are his responsibility, a job that is made infinitely harder when their shitty grandparents want custody. Nathaniel Wesninski is a liar, but he might be the only way to avenge Aaron and protect his nieces. All Andrew has to do is watch Nathaniels - Neil's- back as he carves out his own life and identity from everyone who thinks they own him.

Andrew has always been good at upholding his end of the bargain, has he finally found someone willing to uphold theirs?

This fic has got me fucked up, honestly. I’m emotional over it. It’s fantastic.

Chapters: 11/?

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, attempted sexual assault, Butcher Neil,

--

the upper hand by plantelty ( @plantelty  )

Shortly after losing his mother, Neil arrives in the small town of Palmetto, South Carolina, alone in the world and with an impossible plan to carry through.

At the age of eighteen, Andrew ends up helping a boy stage his own death.

-

Just two fucked up boys learning to trust each other during the course of a summer, but also: multiple references to songs, twinyard angst (Nicky tries his best), The Plotting of Neil Josten's Gruesome Demise, and shit hitting the fan in a variety of ugly ways!

The cliffhanger has got me on the edge of my seat, but it is 100% worth the read and the wait for the last chapter!! 

Chapters: 10/11

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Canon typical violence, 

--

The Butcher’s House by Fire_Bear ( @fire-bear )

Andrew thought something was odd with the house the Foxes had to move into after their Athletes' House had been burnt down. He just wasn't prepared for what was actually wrong with it.

For this was a house full of monsters.

Ghost story! Ghost story! Ghost story! I literally think about this fic every other day, it’s fantastic. 

Chapters: 6/?

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: character death (major or minor is unclear), injuries, 

--

Promise of an Unbroken Boy by elesary ( @elesary​ )

Neil is caught by the police with Mary's burning body and is sent to juvie in Oakland where he is assigned to share a cell with one Andrew Doe, who promises him Exy, if only Neil will tell him all of his secrets. With no access to tinted contacts and hair dye, he agrees, it's only a matter of time until he's killed after all. What does he have to lose?

But Andrew's found someone who knows what a promise means, and he'll be damned if he lets that go without a fight.

Ngl this is definitely in my very top favorites -- I LOVE the idea of Neil and Andrew meeting pre-series, and this fic just BLEW my expectations for that plotline out of the waters

Chapters: 14/?

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Underage, attempted rape/non-con, canon-typical violence, 

~~~~~~~~~

Complete

The Nameless Monster by kanekicure ( @kanekicure )

Nathaniel Wesninski wants nothing more than to see his father dead and buried. But when his father promises him the title of The Butcher, Nathaniel quickly realizes that his destiny of following in his father's footsteps is closer than ever before.

So of course, when he gets forced to go undercover for the Baltimore police, he starts seeing what living could truly be.

-

Andrew Minyard is a newly recruited police officer for the worst precinct in Baltimore, who is dedicated on hunting down the notorious Butcher and his unnamed underling. But when Neil Josten is thrown into his midst as his civilian consultant; he starts to realize some things don't quite appear as they seem.

I love the story telling -- the secret identities, the plotting, everything.

Chapters: 14/14

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Butcher Neil, implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced slef-harm (I believe there is a scene that is somewhat detailed on this subject), some characters also get drugged at one point, 

-- 

that’s just something people say by nanatsuyu ( @theoctopusnods )

Neil makes the mistake of stealing the wrong car. Andrew makes the mistake of offering a ride to a liar. They both make the mistake of turning the whole affair into a road trip ‘home.’

Gonna be honest; the summary does not give a big idea as to what is in store and i am SO GLAD I gave this one a try so i’m telling you that you will be too

Chapters: 24/24

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, panic attacks (somewhat grahic descriptions of)

--

The Story After You by kanekicure ( @kanekicure )

Andrew Minyard does not understand how Riko Moriyama landed Neil Wesninski.

How the snot-nosed, small dick, rich brat, second son of the Moriyama family who also just so happened to own the largest EXY gear and merchandiser company in the world “RAVEN” - had landed smart mouthed, quick witted, stupidly blue eyed Wesninski, was beyond him. Well, unless Wesninski was a gold digger, but Andrew doubted it.

-

Or; how Andrew Minyard says he doesn't get into messy situations, until he meets Neil and suddenly he is in the most messiest possible situation ever imagined in his life - oh and also, he might be becoming a homewrecker.

Ok I am behind bc I haven’t read the final chapter of this but!! I love the story, it’s very emotional and moving, and I love the characterization in it.

Chapters: 10/10

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Abusive Riko/Neil, abusive relationship, implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/reference child abuse, implied/referenced self-harm, graphic depictions of violence, some descriptions of injuries/scarring, 

-- 

This Complicated Life by 5a5b5p5 ( @andrewsbutterflyknife )

“This is exactly why I don’t want you and Andrew to meet,” Aaron says grumpily. “You two would get along far too well.”

Neil grins. “I just like pissing you off,” he says, “It’s not my fault your brother does such a good job at it.”

—

Neil doesn’t expect much from his Sophomore year of college, but when he becomes a waiter at the Palmetto Bistro, his life gets a whole lot more interesting. As it turns out, maintaining friendships new and old as well as navigating an interesting relationship with the head chef of the restaurant—who just so happens to be his best friend’s twin brother—is a lot more complicated than he’d thought it would be.

A much more light-hearted fic than most of the others! Includes a secret relationship, and also chef Andrew >>

Chapters: 10/10

Rating: Mature

Warnings: 

--

When I Fade, Keep Me in Your Memory by demesh 

Neil Josten has a secret: he can flicker out of existence.

He can vanish with the turn of a thought; click his fingers, and suddenly he’s not there anymore. Invisible and untouchable, he becomes a living ghost.

Having promised his mother never to let his ability go, Neil teeters the line between faded and real, a person and an echo. He can’t risk getting hurt.

But then, one day, someone sees him when they shouldn’t be able to.

 A (flower-shop) AU about how a faded and lonely Neil finds it in him to become someone real.

Another fic that I need to catch up on ;; but anyway it’s amazing and I love Neil’s ability in it, it’s so well explained and well-written about

Chapters: 12/12

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: mentions of past abuse, panic attacks

--

12 Ways to Woo a Minyard by NikNak22 ( @knickknacksandallthat )

Neil is a math nerd who, by a stroke of dumb luck, falls into a group of friends that are the closest thing to family he’s ever had. So, when he tells them about his new mysterious crush, he shouldn’t be surprised how immediately they come up with a plan to help win them over. One they insist that if Neil follows it, he’ll have them falling for him in no time. But things don’t always go to plan – or do they?

Nicky wants to set him up with someone else. Matt and Jeremy are confused but supportive. Allison and Seth offer lewd suggestions, while Dan does her best to keep everyone in line. Jean and Renee know something, Aaron doesn’t really care, and Kevin just wants Neil to join the lacrosse team.

But one thing’s for certain – whether Neil’s successful or not, everyone’s got money riding on this.

The romance-trope-filled fanfic of my dreams. Sometimes you just need a fic of pure joy -- this is that fic. 

Chapters: 14/14

Rating: Mature

Warnings: 

--

finders keepers by moonix ( @annawrites ​ )

Andrew meets Nathaniel through a scavenger hunt app. As their team takes part in a hunt that sends each of them to creepy, abandoned places alone to solve clues and gain points, Andrew and Nathaniel begin a little treasure hunt of their own. The anonymity of getting to know each other in small increments, never meeting face-to-face, allows them a level of intimacy neither are used to. Meanwhile Renee’s friend Neil is acting weird whenever Andrew shows up…

This was one of the first fics I read for aftg!! And BOY what a great start!! All of the little pieces and parts that work together, and just the scavenger hunt itself is fantastic! (I also REALLY wanna know if there is an app like this out there because I would be down to do that)

Chapters: 8/8

Rating: Mature

Warnings: (these all come from the author:) “mentions of historical abuse in a mental asylum, mentions of suicide, mentions of murder and kidnapping, morbid facts, creepy abandoned places including a haunted house at a theme park with disturbing rooms, special appearance of a creepy clown doll, fatphobia and some introspection on body image/complicated relationship with food, mention of self harm scars”

-----

Scared to Live (But I’m Scared to Die) by Major_816 ( @major816 )

Neil Josten goes to the Nest for Andrew, but he stays for a lot more.

~

"I'm sorry Coach," he muttered.

"For what kid?" Wymack shifted. "You've got to give me something to work with here."

Wymack watched the thin traces of sorrow as paper exchanged hands and he was looking down at a contract with the Edgar Allan Raven's.

"I signed them Coach, I'm sorry."

~

The one where Neil doesn't come back from Winter Break.

It is VERY dark, and is one of very few fics that I have actually been almost unable to read one of the scenes, so DEFINITELY pay attention to the warnings -- both these, and the ones provided for each individual chapter. I did go through the fic to collect as many warnings as I could find in the chapter warnings, but be sure to take care of yourself.

Chapters: 36/36

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: rape/non-con elements, implied/referenced rape/non-con, discussions of rape/non-con, canon-typical violence, graphic descritions, physical abuse, panic attacks, descriptions of injuries (often graphic), psychological warfare, dissociating, psychological torture, physical torture, use of knives, alcoholism/alcohol abuse, pain-induced delirium, rape/non-con, emotional self-separation, suicidal ideation/thoughts of suicide, emotional distress (which sums up the whole fic and also me while reading it), handcuffs/chains used as restraints, referenced/implied abuse towards animals, vomitting, begging, excessive use of painkillers, drowning, waterboarding, physical restraint, mutilation of an animal, mild hallucinations, non-con drugging, sleep deprivation, starvation, humiliation, the Butcher, 

Also one of the first fics I read and 100% my absolute favorite fic!!! Which is adfjhsd a little worrying, considering, but it is what it is. Anyway. This fic absolutely wrecked me, and while it is technically complete, there is a sequel in the works! So! But I am so so excited for the sequel, and I am working on rereading this. It’s amazing. 1000/10.

[barbecuebabybackribs]

Being in a Poly relationship with Emmett and Rosalie would include:

(Gender Neutral Pronouns

I hope you guys enjoy this! It just popped into my head so I decided to write it out for all of y’all. Also this is super long!! Just a heads up, Enjoy and stay safe guys:) )

To say you surprised them would be a big understatement

They’d both be really conflicted- neither of them wanted to admit they wanted to pursue you

Edward would take pity on them

“Emmett, Rosalie, you both want to be with Y/N- the other won’t be upset if you admit it.”

“...”

Emmett is absolutely pumped- having one mate? Amazing, fabulous. But having two? ABSOLUTE HEAVEN

Rosalie is a bit more conflicted- you’re a human, so fragile and vulnerable. Being around her would mean you’re constantly at risk, not to mention the fact that you becoming a vampire at one point or another shakes her to her very core.

Emmett agree’s to not ask you out until Rosalie is comfortable with it, IF, she agrees to befriend you in the meantime

The next time your in the cafeteria- sitting alone picking at the cheap school lunch, when two people sit at the table with you

When you look up you realize Emmett is on your left and Rosalie is on your right- your surrounded by the schools power couple- the schools very attractive power couple

“Um, Hello?” you say nervously due to the fact they never interact with others outside of there family- let alone you.

“Hello, I’m Rosalie, your Y/N, Right?”

“Yeah, and I know you, You’re Rosalie Hale, and That’s Emmett Cullen, your basically the talk of the school.”

“Oh really? So what have they been saying about us?” Emmett would laugh- knowing some of the rumors going around town were a bit wild.

You’d talk for the rest of the lunch period, telling them about yourself and all the rumors about them- some as simple as Rosalie being a bleached blonde, some being that Emmett ran a satanic sex cult and Rosalie flirts with people to lure them in- that one had Emmett and Rosalie nearly rolling on the floor with laughter

For the next week they’d always sit with you at lunch and you started to consider them friends

The next week they showed up after your last class and walked you to your car

The next week at lunch they started telling you about how they were heading up to Seattle during the weekend

“Hey you know what? You should go with us!”

“Oh? I would hate to impose and be a third wheel.”

“Come on, we’d love to have you there.” Emmett would smile and wrap and arm around you.

You’d look to Rosalie to see if she was okay with it, She had a smile on her face so you assumed she was down

“Yeah, it does sound like fun.”

They’d pick you up from your house the next day in their Jeep

Emmett was blaring music which caused you neighbors to give you a dirty look

Emmett insists you see the “Gum Wall” Which was both interesting a gross

Rosalie takes you to the top of the Space Needle

Rosalie almost has a heart attack- if that were possible- when you stand up to fast and get light headed

Emmett forces you to sit back down and tries to keep Rosalie from calling Carlisle

“I’m sorry guys, I just got light-headed since I haven’t eaten yet today.”

They both forgot you had human needs and Rosalie sits with you scolding you for not telling them you were hungry earlier while Emmett finds food for you

Comes back essentially holding enough food to feed 20 people

“UM! That’d a lot!”

“Well I didn’t know what you wanted so I got one of everything.”

You awkwardly eat as much as you can- offering a lot of it to them and being a tad confused when they decline

You end up giving the leftovers to homeless people

You end up having an amazing day, they take you and bid you farewell- saying you had to do it more often

Watching them drive away you realize you’d fallen for them

You low key feel guilty and the next time the sit with you, you can’t get the thought of you being a horrible person and homewrecker out of your head- I mean they’re in love with each other, who are you to think you even stand a chance?

They both realize something’s off with you and ask Edward later that day if he noticed anything in your thoughts- even though Rosalie told him to stay out of your head.

He tells them what you had been conflicted about

They’re conflicted

Emmett’s pumped you officially like them- and both of them, part of him was worried about you only falling for one of them

Rosalie was happy you shared there feelings but the fact you thought negatively of yourself because of them ate her up.

Rosalie tells Emmett it’s time to consider asking you out,

It still takes them a few weeks to officially ask but suddenly your receiving presents from them and being invited to all kinds of outings

You make them string friendship bracelets and they think it’s the cutest thing in the world- they both wear them 24/7

Movie “Outings”

Hiking “Outings”

Port Angela’s “Outings”

Going to lunch wear only you eat 

Getting ice cream where only you eat.

Basically any human thing they can do, you’re right there next to them

Emmett takes you to play football and only laughs at how bad you are

You’re jaw drops to the floor when you see Emmett throw the ball out of the field

“How the hell?!?”

“Oops, to much power in that one.”

Rosalie takes you on a self pamper day

Hair- Check . Nails- Check. skin Care- Check. Gossip- Check.

You go home that day having dirt on everyone in the town

One day your surprised to see they aren’t waiting for you after class, you stick around for a few minutes to see if they’re late- but they never show

Eventually you head to your car and see them waiting for you there and they finally officially ask you out

Rosalie starts to say it but hesitates and Emmett says it for her

“Y/N, We wanna go out with you.”

“... Like... to the movies?”

“No, we mean, we want to date you.” Rosalie says, tightening her grip on Emmett’s hand

Your silent for a few seconds and they’re worried you’’re going to say no

Pleasantly surprised when you break out in a big smile and say “Yes!”

“Awesome.” Emmett says pulling you into long bear hug- which he squeezes a little to tight but you just savor the moment 

Rosalie is standing next to the both of you, absolutely shocked and excited, gets a big smile on her face when she see’s you and Emmett’s smile and hears how fast your heart is beating

You all enjoy your evening together- your smiles never leaving your faces

They drive you home and Rosalie gives you a hug goodbye- which turns into a group hug when Emmett joins

They never tell you but they heard you call your friend practically squealing in excitement as you told them you’d just got back on a date with “Rosalie AND EMMETT”

They both went home down right giddy- they got cornered by Alice, with Jasper and Edward both in the corner snickering

After you officially start dating Emmett and Rosalie don’t hold back

Emmett has picked you up and carried you around school multiple times

Rosalie had to be physically restrained when someone had the audacity to grope your ass

She still gave them a piece of her mind tho- and it’s rumored they never laid a hand on another person again

They help you study and do your homework- they do have lot’s of experience after all

When your parents aren’t home you all stay up late in the living room watching movies- Rosalie finds your mom baby photo album of you and gushes over tiny you

You end up falling asleep on Emmett’s shoulder- Rosalie takes a photo of you two

Dates with each other but also dates where its just you and Rosalie, you and Emmett, or just the two of them

Emmett kisses you first- takes you surprise and kisses you after he dropped you off at home, then drove away with the biggest cheeky grin in the world

Rosalie is low-key jealous they kissed you first

Next time you see Rosalie? She dips you over and gives you a big ole kiss

Smugly smiles when she see’s you have the biggest blush on your face known to man

After the initial kiss it’s just part of the daily norm

A kiss when you first see each-other, when you say goodbye, a random smooch or two threw out the day

You get all kinds of envious glares from others

Also people who just think you’re sickingly cute

Rosalie decides it’s time for you to know about vampires when you start asking why they never eat on your guy’s dates and there eye’s always change colors

Take you on a long hike so there’s no one around to hear, also encase you feel the need to scream in confusion/fear

You think they’re joking at first

That is until Emmett picks up a boulder and throws it like it’s a baseball across the field

You sit down on a log to process for a second

“Y/N... Are you okay?”

“I made out with a vampire... I made out with two vampires... I’m  DATING TWO VAMPIRES!”

You have a million questions and they answer them all

You ask Emmett to pick you up with one hand- he does and laughs at how surprised you are

“You’re like the hulk!”

You dramatically lean against a tree and tell Rosalie she’ll need to carry you back since your just soo tired- you mean it mainly as a joke

To your surprise she carries you bridal style all the way home- laughing at how giddy you are over such a simple thing

They don’t have fully have sex with you while your human but they are willing to do a lot of other things

They forgot how much humans blush at simple things and it makes no-beating hearts ache

Introduction to the family is a bit awkward but pleasant

Esme absolutely adores you and loves cooking you complex dishes

Carlisle is so happy to see you making his “Kids” happy and also is happy that you’re such a lovely person in general

Edward and Alice basically already know everything about you

Alice gets a little to excited and talks about how good of friends you’ll be and how she’s already planning your new wardrobe

Rosalie pry’s her away from you

Edward doesn’t say much to you but is nice, a little moody but nice

Bella makes sure you feel welcome and tells her if your’re ever struggling to come to her because she’s been in the same situation and knows what it’s like 

After meeting them it basically becomes your second home

They get a bed put in there room so you can spend the night

They love cuddling with you while you sleep, adoring how you’ll softly mumble random words

Cute little picnic dates

You watch Rosalie work on cars and attempt to help her

She ends up teaching you the basics

Sometimes you read to her while she works on cars, or you simply keep her company

Emmett and you wrestle a lot- although he obviously always wins besides the few times he lets you win

You’ve randomly leaped onto his back to many time to count- he loves it

You all go on vacation together during the summer

You go to some private beach and gush over how there skin sparkles so beautifully

Rosalie and Emmett nearly die on the spot when they see you get hit by a car

Rosalie holds you while Emmett calls 911

They realize the cops won’t get there in time- but they don’t want to “doom” you to the life of a vampire

“It’s okay guys, you don’t have to do it.” You would smile weakly at them

“Don’t say that, you’ll be fine.”

It was a lie and you all knew it

When your heart beats starts to slow down and you’re eyes flicker closed they silently agree they have to do it

Emmett is the one who bites you- a lump forming in his throat as you groan in pain as the venom starts to take affect

Rosalie cradles you softly as you start your transition- they end up moving you when they hear the ambulance coming close

They calls the rest of the cullens and let them know- Alice had already seen it but she was to late to call and warn them

They all come to you but all silently agree to only let Rosalie and Emmett in the room your in until you’re ready- most newborns want to be alone

When you wake up and your blood red eyes flicker around the room, you jump up so fast you break the bed frame

All previously dull colors are now vibrant and almost headache inducing, you can hear everything in a room that was previously silent, and the smells- the smells were the worst part, everything was so overwhelming

Not to mention the almost unbearable burning in the back of your throat

“Y/N, are you alright?”

You look over to see a very stressed looking Emmett and Rosalie

“Uhm” You rasp out before clearing your throat, “I.. think so?”

Rosalie offers you a cup of blood Edward had caught for you

You hesitantly take it and ask “What... What does it take like.”

“Take a sip and find out!” Emmett slaps your back and then rubs it supportingly

You take a small sip, surprised at how much it lessens the burning in your throat “It’s.. okay.” You say not wanting to admit it was really good to you- although you do finish the glass

Alice proceeds to carry a whole mirror into the room so you can see yourself- you stare awkwardly at your reflection that now seems foreign

Vampire lessons by everyone

Jasper and Emmett teach you to fight

Carlisle teaches you restraints

Edward and Bella teach you the whole cover story

Rosalie and Alice teach you “How to act human 101″

Emmett and Rosalie both find you one day obviously upset when you realize you’ll have to leave behind your friends and family

They help you learn to cope and let you know it’s completely normal to feel what you feel

Emmett cheers you up by throwing you fifty feet in the air- which was a unique method that worked wonders

Emmett sneak attacks you and you flinch so hard you put a hole in the wall

You get him back by tackling him to the ground- which only works for a second before he’s rolled on top of you and hungrily looking at you lips

You end up making out in the middle of the woods

When the rest of the cullens go back home you decide to stay at the beach for another week

During that week you all agree to take the next step- multiple times

It’s a good thing jasper is out of there because you are full of lust for literal days

You all go home and Edward immediately cringes at Emmett’s thoughts

You home to reveal all your previous rooms stuff had been moved to Rosalie and Emmett’s room- Well now Rosalie, Emmett’s, and Your room

You all are cuddle bugs

Resting your head on Rosalie’s chest is your favorite thing

Well, Clinging to Emmett’s back while he makes his way threw daily life is also up there

You all go hunting together and are one powerful gang

In Rosalie’s eyes your all damned but at least you’re damned together

You all spend the rest of your very long lives protecting and loving each other- even threw the roughest of times nothing could break you apart

You all love each other and that’s enough

[xpeachesncream]

acquainted | twelve

> series masterlist | series playlist <

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: jungkook x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut

words: 3.1k

warnings: cussing/mature language, physical fighting, some asshole-ish things are said/some degradation but i meeeeean.. look at where we’re at lol

notes: i was going to wait a little bit to post this, but my lovely anon has been waiting patiently for their namjoon x ryujin one shot request, which majority takes place in conjunction with chapter 11-12. pls check it out after you read this chapter! 

tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead@bluesharksandfish@photographic-girl @yonkoghan @moonchild1​ @thebeebi​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

Grace knew.

A woman always listens to her intuition.

She knew when she caught that weird look you sent Jin's way during the charity event. When Jin stepped out to take a call in his car that same night. When she's seen his ring tucked away into his drawer multiple times. She knew when she's seen your name pop up on his screen more than once. She knew when the sex didn't feel the same, when Jin wouldn't touch her the same.

When he could barely look at her in bed.

Grace knew.

But she gave Seokjin a chance to tell her, to be honest. To communicate. Yet, it never came.

"G-Grace." He stutters, dropping your hand out of his grip. You stood there, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, unsure of what to do or how to look.

"I fucking knew it." She spits out. "You were seeing each other all this time." She comes closer to the both of you.

"Grace, stop. It's not what it looks like." Seokjin stupidly responds. You furrow your forehead from behind him because, what the fuck did he mean it's not what it looks like?

"How could you? Both of you?" She cries, her eyes bloodshot red. She had been crying. She was waiting. "You have the fucking nerve! You little homewrecking slut!" She yells at you, slapping you against the cheek. The heat pooling at the site causes you to gasp and look at her. You honestly don't even know what to do besides let her bed mad. What could you do? Fight back even though she was right? Hell nah.

"Grace! Enough!" He yells, grabbing her wrist. "This isn't what you think--"

"Save it, Seokjin. I got your message loud and clear." She gets out of his grip and pushes him. "You're disgusting." She spits out before storming away, but Jin goes after her. You're left standing there like a watchdog for your baggages, while Grace rips her arm from Jin's grip once again and leaves him there. You feel incredibly guilty, but also, you're pissed as fuck now.

Because again - what the fuck did he mean this isn't what you think? After all the shit he said to you last night. After this weekend?

"It's not what it looks like?" You repeat to his face. He can tell you're pissed and he shakes his head in regret. "This isn't what you think?" You take your duffle that's sitting on top of his luggage and begin to walk back towards the tram station. He attempts to pull you back, both of his hands on your arms.

"Y/N, I panicked, please don't do this--"

"You panicked? Your fiancé smacks me on the face and you panic? What the fuck happened to being honest about our relationship? So much for I'll tell her when we get home! I look so fucking stupid.”

"Y/N, don't." He grabs your wrist and tries to pull you close.

"Jin, get the fuck off of me."

"No, stop. Y/n, please talk to me."

"I'm going home."

"Let me drive you, don't be ridiculous." You shake your head as you try to shake his grip off of you.

"Don't be ridiculous?" You scoff. "I was fine before you came into the picture, okay? I can handle myself." You finally get out of his grip and take your bag from him. "Apparently, this isn't shit to you." You spat out before you head back onto the tram to head back away from him.

"Hey, what happened?" Ryujin pulls you into a quick hug before throwing your bag in her trunk and settling back into the driver's seat. You begin to cry heavily into your hands, feeling completely overwhelmed from how things suddenly came crashing down. You had an amazing weekend with Jin, only to find out that this truly wasn't shit to him? How he couldn't even just be upfront right at that moment about your relationship? Suddenly you felt like you weren't worth it all over again. Like he was never going to leave.

Once you were able to pull yourself together enough, you told Ryujin about everything that happened this weekend up until the moment Grace showed up at the airport lot. Ryujin couldn't help but just pull you into a tight bear hug once you got into your apartment. You laid your head on her lap as she massaged your scalp and allowed you to cry as much as you needed to. She didn't wanna say it but she knew this could come crashing down the way it did. It was an 'I told you so' moment. But she knew you knew that. You didn't need to be told, or reminded. She just needed to be here for you and that's all she had planned to do, even if she had other things on her mind. You were always there for her through everything and anything; her thoughts could wait.

"I feel so fucking stupid."

"You're not. You can't help your feelings or someone, but what you can do is pick yourself up and move on. Learn from this. Do better for yourself." She responds softly.

"But, it’s him." Ryujin lightly sighs as she continues to brush your hair.

"Honey, you can't wait around forever for Jin to be ready for you or for whatever this is. You can't wait around for him to be a man and pull himself together. You've been through enough." You don't respond. "You need to talk to Jungkook before this spirals out of control. He needs to hear it from you himself."

"I will, just not now." You cried, Ryujin responding with a simple nod.

"Okay."

"This sucks. It sucks to have deep feelings for someone who doesn't even think you're worth it. He couldn't even just tell her."

"Look, I'm gonna be Jimin and play devil's advocate here. I don't know Seokjin personally like that, but part of him had to at least feel like you were worth it. I'm sure you still are, but he needs to shut this down with Grace first and that's not going to happen overnight. Not for them, especially."

"Ugh." You groaned as you continued to cry.

"It's okay. Get some rest. I'll go grab more of my things and stay here with you." She looks down at you and gives you a reassuring smile.

"I love you. Thank you." You tell her softly as you shut your eyes in hopes of getting any type of sleep.

"I love you too." Maybe you just needed time for yourself too. A breather. This was a lot, and the thing that bothered you the most was not knowing where Seokjin really stood with you. What if this was it? What if this was the moment that made him realize it was always going to be Grace all along?

"We've decided to split." Jin says, his eyes slightly red, bags visible and his body weak. He had been arguing and going at it with Grace as she had packed up most of her things. She had decided to send movers for the rest of her things throughout the week, leaving Jin feeling a little emptier than before. He called the guys over as soon as Grace was out of the house that same Sunday because he knew he didn't have much time until Grace was out there updating friends and family members about the shitty fucking excuse he was of a fiancé. On top of that, he was scared because he hadn't heard from you and he knew he fucked up - he was afraid he had lost you completely, too. That wasn't supposed to be the plan, and that wasn't how this was supposed to turn out. He wasn't sure how he'd handle seeing you in class tomorrow if you both hadn't talked by then.

"I'm sorry, is there anything we can do for you? What happened?" Hoseok sat on the barstool in front of the kitchen island, Yoongi and Namjoon quietly sitting beside him.

"I— uh, no. We just haven't worked out for awhile."

"Jin." Namjoon says softly, hinting that he should be honest with both Yoongi and Hoseok now. There was no point in hiding this anymore.

"Namjoon." He responds in the same tone. He looks over at Yoongi and Hoseok who are quietly waiting for more of an explanation. His head falls as he sighs heavily, his hands tightly gripping the edge of the kitchen island. "Fuck."

"Dude, what is it? What's going on?" Hoseok asks, genuinely concerned.

"I fucked up."

"W-what do you mean by that?" Hoseok goes on, prying him for more details. By the time Jin picks up his head and is about to explain while looking at them in the eye, he hears his front door slam loudly, the walls almost shaking with it.

"Jin!" He hears the voice call out as it came closer to the kitchen. Fuck. This-- This was the one thing he absolutely wasn't ready for. "What the fuck!" Jungkook almost growls. "How could you?!" Jungkook storms into the kitchen, fists clenched. The look on his face is something Jin will always remember - the hurt, the anger, the betrayal he felt by his own brother.

"Jungkook, listen. Let's just go outside for a minute--" Jin tries to pull him aside but Jungkook smacks his hand away.

"No, fuck you dude! Don't fucking touch me." He yells. "I trusted you! You knew how I felt about her! Why the fuck would you do that, and-and-and to Grace?!" He stutters over his words. "Why?"

"Seokjin, what's going on?" Yoongi says, climbing out of his seat to get in between the two. Namjoon is silent because this isn't his fight. He's staring Jin down as if to tell him that he needs to man the fuck up right now. He wasn't going to do it for him.

"Great, perfect. I'm not surprised they don't even know." Jungkook chimes in sarcastically as he pushes Seokjin against the counter. Jin reacts defensively, grabbing his brother's collar as he tries to push and pry him off. "Why don't you tell them how you kept fucking Y/N behind my back? Going after her and doing all this shit, getting her to spend the weekend with you in LA even though you knew how I felt about her? Let alone that you were still fucking engaged to your fiancé this entire time!" Yoongi gets in the middle, prying Jungkook off completely and stepping in between to spread some distance.

"Woah, what?" Hobi looks at him in disbelief, his face lightly turning red from how incredibly fucked this whole situation is. How things just blew up in a matter of minutes. "Is that true?"

Jin sighs, his tears welling up in his eyes as his voice cracks. "Yes, and I'm sorry for hurting you." He turns to Jungkook.

"I just--" Jungkook's tears began to fall. "I trusted you. I always trusted you. How could you do something like that when I never did you wrong?" Jungkook's bottom lip trembled.

"Jungkook, please--" Jin's tears began to fall, feeling incredibly sorry for having hurt his brother this way.

"No!" Jungkook shook his head. "What kind of fucking brother are you?" He spits out before he walks out of the house, Yoongi going after him to check up on him outside.

"Seokjin." Hobi slowly shakes his head, his facial expression full of disappointment. "You know I love you man, but why did you have to do that?"

"I-I don't know." Is the only proper he can come up with, because he doesn't. He was so caught up in his feelings for you and how things felt right, that he just pushed everything that was wrong aside.

"Look, let's just give everyone some time to breath." Namjoon gives Jin a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. No matter what, he was always going to have his back and be there for him.

"Fuck." Jin groaned as he slammed his fist against the kitchen island. "I need to talk to her. I can’t do this without talking to her.”

"Maybe Y/N just needs time to breathe, too. Give her that. I promise it'll be okay." Namjoon says.

And he's right - you do need time to breathe. You were hurt by the fact that Seokjin couldn't even come forward about you, yet he said all these sweet things to you over the weekend. It all came crashing down, and suddenly, you were questioning if this was all worth it. If you were never going to be worth it in his eyes, why would you keep stringing yourself along?

"Hey." Jimin says, gently rubbing your knee as he sat on your living room floor. "Are you sure you're okay? You've been awfully quiet."

"I'm okay. Thanks for coming over." You smiled at him toothlessly, before looking over at Ryujin and Taehyung finishing up plating the brownies in your kitchen.

"Y/N, please know that you can always talk to me about anything." Jimin says softly, knowing there was something really off about the way you had been acting. He hated prying it out of you, but he knew you'd eventually tell him when you were ready.

"Yeah, I know. Right now, I just need you here, okay?" He nods. As Ryujin and Taehyung are bringing over the plate full of brownies stacked high, a loud, aggressive knock comes to the door that Taehyung takes upon himself to open.

"Jungkook!" Taehyung yells, opening the door widely for you and him to make eye contact. You immediately stood, catching that his expression was angry. Upset. He clearly had a lot to say and you already knew he had given his brother some of it. You knew this would come; you just hoped you had a little more time.

"Y/N." He says, in a heartbreaking tone.

"Jungkook, please— can we talk about this another—" You ask, meeting him at the door.

"No, how could you? He-he was engaged to Grace— I thought we were good— Y/N." He repeats your name, unable to really complete his statements. You began to cry seeing how hurt he was. "I thought I was doing everything right."

"It wasn't you—"

"Then what the fuck was it, huh?" He spat out. "What exactly is it about my brother that made you wanna do this?"

"I didn't mean to—"

"What, you didn't mean to hurt anyone? Y/N, you obviously didn't give a fuck what this would do to anyone!" His tone rose, Jimin and Taehyung immediately coming behind you. "Grace called me crying so hard she could barely speak. You fucked this up for her, you fucked this up for me and my brother— I- just—" You began to cry harder, Jimin now gripping onto your arms as Taehyung stepped in front of you.

"Okay, that's enough. I think you should go now. You made your point clear." Taehyung said sternly, his jaw lightly twitching from how tightly clenched it was and his hand out to create some distance between him and Jungkook .

"What kind of fucking person does that? You're by far the most selfish person I have ever met. I don't know how you'll go to sleep at night knowing all the damage you've caused." Jungkook shook his head before walking off and slamming his fist against the hallway wall. Taehyung watched him walk off before shutting your door and locking it. He turned to face you but you had been sobbing against Jimin's body while he held you tightly.

"Y/N, please don't tell me this is what I think it is." Taehyung says softly.

"I'm sorry." Is all you can say. At this point, what else can you say? What's done is done.

"It's okay, we don't need to talk about this now." Jimin looked at Tae and slightly shook his head.

"Look Y/N, why don't you just go lie down? You've had a really long day." Ryujin softly chimes in. You don't say anything and instead follow Jimin to your room as he keeps his grasp around you. He plops you both onto the edge your bed, allowing you to continue crying on him.

"I'm so sorry, Jimin. I fucked up."

"Stop, why are you saying sorry? It's alright." He shushes you. Yeah, he was truly disappointed, but what was he going to do? This was entirely your life, he only played a small role in it. He just needed to be there for you and help you grow through this. No matter the circumstance, he wasn't going to look at you any differently. Same with Ryujin and Taehyung. Part of Jimin already knew this was a possibility cause he'd also catch on to the small habits in class and how completely zoned out you've been. There was a reason for everything.

Plus, randomly spending a weekend at your parents' house? He didn't think so. You hadn't visited them in awhile, and he knew you always planned your visits way in advance. You never just dropped your shit and left for home.

"I don't know what to do."

"Mm, we'll figure this out, yeah? For now, just get some rest." You backed yourself up on to the bed, catching a quick glimpse of Chance's picture before lying down. Fuck, why couldn't shit be more easy?

As you fall asleep, Jimin makes his way back out the living room where Ryujin and Taehyung are quietly cleaning up in your living room.

"How long?" Jimin asks Ryujin.

"It's been awhile, Chim."

"Why didn't she tell me or Tae?" She shrugged.

"It's not that she didn't want to. She was going to but I think she just got caught up in everything."

"So? What now? We see him in class tomorrow." Taehyung says.

"I don't know? Nothing. I'm assuming she'll just need her space for a little until she can figure out how to approach this."

"Why—why did she do this?" Jimin asks, still confused and disappointed with your actions. "She knew the mess it would cause."

"Don't tell her I told you so. That's not what she needs right now, she knows. I just, I don't know. Sometimes you really can't help who you fall for. She tried to push it aside."

"Tried?"

"Yes." Ryujin looks at Jimin sternly. "She did." The rest of the time, it's quiet. The boys had gotten the living room ready so that they could all stay with you for the night. You didn't leave your bed even after Jimin knocks to let you know dinner had arrived or when Ryujin asks if you wanna join them for a movie.

You just want sleep.

You just wanted to be alone, in this dark, and sleep.

You weren't ready to face your feelings, or Seokjin. You weren't sure where to go from here or what to do. You weren't sure how to pick yourself up. Is it fucked up to still wanna be by his side after all this time? Is it fucked up that he's still the one you want? What the fuck do you do?

Do you stay, or do you go?

[milkypompon]

𝕋𝕠𝕠 𝕃𝕒𝕥𝕖 | Reader x Sokka x Zuko

< ℙ𝕣𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤 || 𝕊𝕠𝕜𝕜𝕒'𝕤 𝔼𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 || ℤ𝕦𝕜𝕠’𝕤 𝔼𝕟𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 >

𝕀𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖 | Y/N and Sokka crushed on each other for the longest time, but neither of them had the guts to tell about their feelings. Sokka tried to ignore how he felt by flirting and dating other people, which left Y/N confused. Until, Y/N met Zuko, firing up something within Sokka.

𝔸𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣'𝕤 ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖 | I received a good handful of Zuko x Y/N x Sokka, so I’m gonna warm up first with some headcanons! Also, I’ll be writing a Part 2 because I wasn’t able to think of how I want to write the confession part + “smutty 👀” part just yet!

WARNINGS: Fluff! Angst!

𝔼ℕ𝕁𝕆𝕐

Being a waterbender from the Southern Water Tribe meant Y/N spent many of their youthful days splashing water and flicking shards of ice around the snow with Katara. They’d playfully chase the Boomerang Man, also known as Sokka. The three were attached to the hip and the trio grew even closer when they were dragged into the whirlwind of Aang’s Avatar duties.

Progressively, Katara began to blush a little harder everyday around Aang. She’d quietly whisper her subconscious thoughts about the Avatar to Y/N when they’re alone looking for firewood.

Katara clears her throat as she pushes around a pebble with the tip of her boot. “Y’know… Aang has been real nice to me recently,” she said in a small voice.

Y/N bumped their shoulder with Katara’s. “Oh please, that boy has been extra nice to only you,” they rolled their eyes.

She elbowed Y/N’s stomach, earning her a groan. “Anyways! What’s with you making goo-goo eyes with my brother, huh?” Katara raised her eyebrow.

Y/N inhaled sharply, feeling their ears heat up.

Little did the childhood friends know that as the boys picked berries and scavenged for nuts, they were talking about Katara and well, Y/N.

Sokka deadpanned at Aang, gripping his shoulder, “You gotta stop talking about my sister to me… IT’S WEIRD!”

Aang timidly scratched the back of his neck, muttering, “Sorry…”

Sokka sighed, “But, go ahead. You have my blessing. Blah, blah, blah!”

The poor boy lightened up, then his demeanor changed into a teasing one. “Sooooo, what’s with you and Y/N? Eh, Sokka?” Aang clasped his hands together and puckered his lips.

Sokka’s eyes widened, cheeks flushing an embarrassingly red hue. He pushed Aang’s face away with the palm of his hand, “NOTHING! Absolutely nothing! We’re practically like siblings!”

“So stop talking about my TWO SIBLINGS, AANG!” He exclaimed.

Sokka flirted and hit one everyone (everything) that seemed to emanate singleness (well, except for Yue).

He’d ask Y/N for advice on how to catch the eyes of others. It worked of course because who’d turn down the brilliant, handsome, and kind boy?

What Y/N didn’t seem to realize was that Sokka only did this to get his mind off of his childhood best friend. He doubted that a practical sibling could reciprocate his true feelings for them.

Sokka attempted many times before of course, but his throat seemed to tighten and his hands became clammy every time Y/N would look at him with doe-like eyes that sparkled under the moonlight.

So, he continued to play his game of “Let’s break Y/N heart and mine by hooking up with other people!”

When Y/N saw Sokka finally getting together with Suki, they knew it was the end for their possible confessions and relationship. Even though they’d practice in front of the water’s reflection of how they’d confess, Y/N couldn’t muster up the courage to tell Sokka. Y/N wasn’t a homewrecker!

No one, LITERALLY, no one filled in Toph with any of this information, but she just knew! Even Y/N realized that Toph knew.

Y/N would lay on the grass with her at nightfall, detached from the group. They both knew that if Y/N watched Aang snuggle up with Katara, and Sokka’s head nestling on top of Suki’s shoulder, Y/N wouldn’t be able to take it.

So, here they were, Y/N spilling her lonely heart to Toph, who just nodded and hummed with affirmation.

“I don’t understand why I’m doing this to myself,” Y/N’s voice wavered.

After what seemed like ages, Toph sighed, “You know? I don’t either, but you need to find yourself another man.” She turned her back against Y/N and began to snore.

Then, Y/N met Zuko at the Air Temple.

The Gaang was in a fighting stance as the Prince of the Fire Nation, nervously introducing himself.

Y/N locked eyes with Zuko, those fiery ember eyes of his. Y/N blushed profusely, quietly moving behind Toph.

The earthbender elbowed Y/N in the ribs forcefully. “Anyone, but him, dum-dum!” she whispered.

Of course Y/N didn’t listen.

Zuko and Y/N would exchange stares, which progressed to small smiles and waves. They’d voluntarily scavenge for food together and small talk was made as they walked side by side. After a routine was made, they bump shoulders teasingly and joke around.

“ZUKO! THERE’S A SNAKE BEAR NEAR YOUR FOOT!” Y/N exclaimed “WHAT! REALLY-” Zuko froze and looked down immediately, to his relief there was nothing. His face deadpanned and he snapped his fingers to make a small flame. “I’ll set your hair one fire Y/N.”

Y/N doubled over from laughter. “You should’ve seen your face! SNAKE BEARS DON’T EVEN EXIST!”, they wheezed in delight.

None of this went unnoticed by the Gaang, especially Sokka.

Due to the dangerous life of being a Kyoshi Warrior, Suki decided to break things off with Sokka. But deep down, she did it in order to allow Sokka to set things right with Y/N.

Sokka would shoot sharp glares at Zuko and would immediately leave if Zuko approached the Gaang.

Zuko knew that the Gaang didn’t necessarily love him, they at least tolerated him, but Sokka was a different story. And he knew exactly why. He didn’t have the details, but oh how strong his hunch was.

It didn’t stop him from being close to Y/N. Their knees would touch as the team sat around the fire. Zuko didn’t do this to make Sokka jealous, the Prince genuinely felt a flickering warmth spreading throughout his chest when Y/N looked at him. Even just being in the presence of Y/N seemed to make his cheeks flush.

Sokka was fed up with the pair’s interactions. At nightfall, when the Gaang ate dinner around a campfire, he pulled Y/N aside.

Y/N and Zuko conversed and giggled quietly to themselves as they sipped up the last of their soup.

Sokka’s eyes no longer squinted in disgust at the sight, but instead it watered. Everyone seemed to notice at his change of demeanor the past few days, everyone except for Y/N.

He stood up quietly and made his way to Y/N, startling them with his gentle touch on their shoulder. “Can I… uh talk to you Y/N? If it’s alright with you?” Sokka’s voice whispered, the Gaang quieted down. Y/N looked around, earning them similar looks of sadness even from Zuko, finally meeting Sokka’s, they nodded.

The pair walked away with eyes still set on them, which quickly diminished when Aang cleared his throat. Their conversations returned.

Sokka kept a decent distance between him and Y/N, not wanting to make them uncomfortable by the sudden time alone they have together. He sat on a fallen log, dusting it off with his hand.

Y/N could read Sokka like a book. They frowned as he stalled around, “What’s wrong Sokka?”

Sokka looked up, his eyes unreadable. He drew his lips into a thin line, “What’s wrong? What’s wrong? That’s what you’re gonna ask!”

Y/N flinched at his sudden burst. Sokka was the cool and collected one, that simultaneously bounced around with happiness, but now they could only see his color draining.

“I’ve been watching you cozying up with Zuko! You’d give him these looks and he'd look at you back the same way. Those jokes and trips you make with him,” Sokka’s voice raised a pitch higher

“YOU’RE NOT MAKING IT EASIER FOR ME EITHER! It’s not fair for you to throw around Zuko’s name like that, when I could list all the people that happened to magically kiss you on the lips-”

Suddenly, a chaste kiss was sloppily placed on Y/N’s lips by Sokka. Y/N forcefully shoved him away.

“Y/N… I- I’m sorry-” Sokka approached them carefully.

Y/N clenched their jaw, “No, you don’t get to say sorry.” They backed away slowly, which quickly turned into a sprint back to the campfire. Eyes still stinging from tears that were being held in for too long.

𝔼𝕟𝕕𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖 | THIS IS SO SAD :( Anon, why did you do this to us! But for real, I actually really loved writing this because it literally broke my heart. Is that sadistic? Or masochistic??

Give me your thoughts!!

[iam93percentstardust]

I'm bombarding you with those prompts, so I fully understand if you just ignore all those you don't like, lol. Would WinterIronFalcon be an OT3 you're intrested in writing? Some established WinterFalcon with Tony pining helplessly after them, not believeing he could have a chance? With a dash of angst in it? Thank you ♡

There isn’t much angst in this but there is hopeless pining so yay?

Also on ao3 here

~

“Share Bear, it’s not fair,” Tony whines into the phone.

“What isn’t?” his cousin asks, sounding patient but also kind of amused. He takes the phone away from his ear and squints at it. Is she making fun of him? She probably is, Sharon always makes fun of him. She’s mean like that; he’s pretty sure she gets it from Natasha.

“They’re so fucking gorgeous, I can’t stand it.”

“Oh. Them again. Seriously Tony, didn’t you used to have better taste?”

“Excuse you,” he says, offended. “My taste is perfect.”

“They think arguing is foreplay.”

“It’s bickering! And it’s cute!”

“Gross,” Sharon says cheerfully.

“God hates me,” Tony says dramatically, flinging his hand over his eyes. “That’s why he cursed me to work with two such beautiful humans who are already dating each other.”

“Tony—”

“I know Bucky stays up to date with the fandom,” he continues, going a little quieter. “He’s gotta know that tons of people ship the three of us. But he doesn’t say anything about it. Share Bear, why doesn’t he say anything?”

“Probably because for every person who ships all three of you, there’s twice as many who ship just you and him,” she admits. “I know that if someone were shipping Maria and Nat and ignoring that I even exist, I’d be pretty upset.”

“Yeah,” he says glumly.

“What’re you filming today anyway?” she asks.

“True Crime. We were supposed to be doing an episode of Supernatural at the Odinson Mystery House, you know, over in Norway where the son found out he was adopted and then got super into Norse mythology and supposedly disappeared into a rainbow?”

“Oh yeah, that guy was crazy.”

“Wasn’t,” Tony insist stubbornly. “There are three different eyewitnesses and they all saw the same thing.”

“All three eyewitnesses tested positive for meth.”

“It was trace amounts and ruled irrelevant to the case. Anyway, there’s some sort of blizzard so our flight got canceled. We figured we’d get a jump on this season’s True Crime episodes instead.”

“What are you doing this week?”

He scowls into the phone. “Fandom episode. They voted for Captain America.”

He can practically hear Sharon wince. “I’m sorry. That fucking sucks.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, not least because both of them know exactly what happened to Captain America. He was recovered from the Arctic back in the 50s and went on to live a very happy and fulfilling life with Aunt Peggy. But that’s a very closely guarded state secret; the U.S. government can’t let it get out that Steve Rogers survived nearly a decade in the ice. Technically, Tony and Sharon aren’t even supposed to know but Aunt Peggy had insisted she be allowed to tell them after she took custody of Sharon and Tony moved out of Howard’s and into her home. It’s kind of cool actually, knowing that Uncle Steve is really Captain America. He’s a pretty great guy. It just kind of sucks that he can’t tell anyone about it and now he has to do a whole episode about it when everyone knows he’s a shitty liar.

He’d talked it over with Uncle Steve and Aunt Peggy when the results of the vote had first come in. Aunt Peggy’s advice had been to act more manic than usual, throw even more outlandish theories into the mix, and really make this episode about the banter between him and Bucky. “Direct their attention away from Steve,” she’d said. “They’re already going to be looking at you. Just make sure they’re doing it for the wrong reason.”

He kind of wants to kiss Bucky. That would definitely draw attention away from the episode. But that’s not fair to either Bucky or Sam, who are very happy with their relationship and don’t need a homewrecker like Tony throwing a spanner into the mix.

“Good luck,” Sharon tells him before they hang up. “You’re gonna need it.”

“Wow, thanks,” he mutters but she’s already gone.

~

Marvels Unsolved was never supposed to be this popular. It started off as a novelty webseries about Tony trying to convince Bucky about the existence of the supernatural—he firmly believed that if science could turn Uncle Steve from an actual shrimp to the god of muscles, then magic had to be out there—and then they’d started talking about an unsolved crime from the early 20th century after filming an episode one day, forgetting that the camera was still rolling, and had ended up with enough footage to make a second episode about real crimes. They had stayed pretty unknown throughout that first season but then true crime podcasts had exploded in popularity and Unsolved along with them.

Now they have a fandom and merchandise and actual fanfiction written about them, which is the craziest thing. They both have several often-quoted gifs floating around the Internet and Bucky has somehow become the poster child for being unimpressed by literally everything (he actually makes some of the best faces when something genuinely scary happens but they always end up editing those parts out—he has an image to maintain after all).

They brought Sam on once they started gaining in popularity. Tony, by that point, already had a pretty well-established crush on Bucky. He’d even thought that he had a chance with his co-host, small as it may be, and at first, it hadn’t seemed like Sam was going to change anything. He and Bucky argued all the time so Tony had been absolutely stunned when he’d stumbled upon them making out like it was the end of the world.

They had just finished filming their second season. Sam had suggested going out to a local bar. He’d suggested it for all three of them but Tony had, inexplicably, felt like a third wheel all night as Sam and Bucky bickered. At one point, Sam had disappeared off to the restroom and a couple minutes later, Bucky had followed him. Tony doesn’t know how long he had sat there waiting for them but he’d eventually gone looking for them only to find Sam pressing Bucky up against a wall.

And that had been that.

Three years later, Sam and Bucky are still going strong, Tony is as smitten with Sam as he is with Bucky despite knowing how hopeless both crushes are, and the fandom seems convinced to either write Sam out of Tony and Bucky’s relationship or write Tony into Sam and Bucky’s. He wishes they would stop. He stays pretty up to date with the fandom as well and they have all these meta posts about the way Bucky looks at him or something. It just keeps giving him hope but, well, it’s been three years. If Bucky wanted him, or if Sam did for that matter, they would have done something long ago.

~

“Hey, you doing okay?” Sam asks him as they’re setting up.

“Sure, why wouldn’t I be?” He avoids meeting Sam’s eyes, focusing instead on adding creamer to the coffee. Marvels had presented them with these mugs last year to congratulate them on four years of Unsolved. They’ve got their most iconic quotes printed on them, Bucky’s with “Obviously I killed JFK” and Tony’s with “I’m the dramatic bitch your mom warned you about.” Sam has one too with his one and only line in the entire show printed on it (“Why did I agree to work with you?”) but since he’s always behind the camera, he doesn’t have to use the same mug for each episode.

“You just seem a little off.” The worst part is that Sam genuinely looks concerned. If they didn’t care about him, he thinks his crush might be easier to manage but they do because they’re just nice guys like that. “I know you weren’t too thrilled when we announced this week’s case.”

“Howard worked with him, practically hero-worshipped the damn guy. Of course, I’m not excited.”

Sam winces. They know all about Tony’s shitty relationship with Howard after his dad called Marvels furious that his son was hosting a webseries instead of coming home to grovel at his feet and take over the business. The whole team had been brought in to listen as Fury tried to placate him. By the end, Bucky had been furious on Tony’s behalf and Sam had berated Fury for twenty minutes for making Tony listen to the vitriol his dad had spewed. It had cemented his crush on Sam, then just a passing fancy, into something real and permanent.

“Seriously, Sam, I’m fine. Might be a little off today but I would have said if I didn’t think I could do it.”

Sam doesn’t look convinced but he agrees anyway. Tony sits down next to Bucky and passes him his mug. Bucky shoots him a grin and murmurs, “Thanks, doll.”

Tony doesn’t blush but that’s only because he has five years of practice. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Sam counting them down and he turns to face the camera, settling his hands in front of him.

“This week on Marvels Unsolved True Crime and in celebration of our 100th episode,” he begins, “we asked you what you’d like us to investigate and you came back—”

“—overwhelmingly,” Bucky interjects.

“Many, many times,” Tony agrees, “with a topic near and dear to my own heart: Captain America.”

“That’s right,” Bucky says, sounding surprised though Bucky had been the first to point out that maybe they shouldn’t do this episode because of Tony’s connections to Project Rebirth. “Your dad helped turn Steve Rogers into Captain America, didn’t he?”

“And he never let me forget it!” Tony says cheerfully.

“One hundred episodes,” Bucky says slowly, enunciating each word. “Can you believe that, doll?”

Sometimes, he wonders why the fans ship them when Sam is right there. Other times, Bucky says things like this and he understands completely.

“Not even a little bit, Bucky Babe.” Okay, so maybe he doesn’t help.

“One hundred. The big one zero zero.”

“We tried to do something extra special and get Sam in front of the camera for you guys—”

“—so you could see what a hunk he is—”

“—but Sam said that he didn’t trust anyone else to film us properly—”

“—which makes sense because Tony? If you put him in the wrong light, he’s practically a gremlin—”

“Hey!”

“I’m just telling the facts.”

“Well, the facts are wrong.”

“They’re facts, sweet thing, they can’t be wrong.”

“Can too. Anyway, since Sam refuses to join us—”

“—and that just breaks my heart because Sam, he’s one of my favorite guys, you know?”

Tony pauses. It’s not like Bucky to say anything nice about Sam. Usually, it’s all good-natured insults and bickering. He must really be fed up with the Starkbucks shippers to say something like this when they’re still this early in the show.

“Only one of?” he asks curiously.

Bucky shoots him one of those filthy grins that their audience loves so much. “Well, it’s hard not to include you on that list,” he drawls.

He’s not going to blush.

He’s not going to blush.

He’s not going to—

Damn it.

Whatever. It’s no big deal, that’s what editing is for. So what if Sam has never edited out one of Tony’s blushes yet? Maybe Tony will get lucky and he will this time.

“You know, I was actually named for Captain America’s sidekick?” Bucky asks, getting them back on track.

“Wow, that is deeply unfortunate,” Tony deadpans.

“Yeah, Dad’s a fanboy. His whole troop was pinned down and rescued by the two of them. He tells the story all the time—kind of like your dad.”

“Except my dad goes straight past into fanboy and directly into obsession territory.”

“…Fair enough.”

“Really? That’s all you’re going to say?”

Bucky shrugs and takes a sip out of his mug. “I’ve been inside your house. I’ve seen the Steve Rogers shrine. I’m not going to argue with you.”

Tony thinks about that for a moment. “It is kind of a shrine, isn’t it? Anyway, we’ve got some great stuff for you today. We’re going to crack open this cold case, show you some never-before-seen footage courtesy of my mom sneaking my dad’s old war tapes out of the mansion, and then we’ll talk a little bit about the theories out there.”

“How many of them are going to be ridiculously outlandish and physically impossible?”

Tony glares at him. “None of them. I have never once presented a ridiculously outlandish and physically impossible theory.”

“Right because alien abduction is a valid—”

“Aliens are real!”

“You said that crabs might have eaten Amelia Earheart!” Bucky shouts over him.

“It’s a valid theory!”

“I take it back, you’re not one of my favorite people anymore.”

“That really hurts me, deep inside,” Tony says sarcastically, trying to cover up that maybe that does send a small pang shooting through his chest. He likes the thought of being one of Bucky’s favorite people. He doesn’t want to lose that.

“How deep?” Bucky asks and winks.

“Very deep. Way, way deep down. Practically in my—”

Bucky’s eyes widen and he nearly chokes on his coffee. “Okay, that’s enough of that. Let’s get into the facts.”

“Hey, that’s my line!”

~

“With a missing plane and pilot and so much redaction in the files, we’re lucky to even have a name, let’s get into the theories.”

“Actually, wait, before we do that,” Bucky says, “I want to ask if you’ve ever noticed that your voice changes when you’re doing the voiceovers.”

“Wait, what?” Tony asks. He glances at him, to one of the cameras, then back to Bucky. “What do you mean?”

“You know, it gets all deeper like you’re trying to voice movie trailers or something.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“Sure it does.”

Tony shakes his head. “There’s no way.”

They both turn toward Sam, who thinks about it and then makes a ‘sort of’ motion with his hand.

“Told you!” Bucky says triumphantly.

“You’re such a child,” Tony sneers.

“Yeah, that’s why you like working with me so much.”

Behind the camera, Sam silently snickers and Tony glares at him before telling the camera, “If you’re watching, let us know in the comments. Is my apparent movie trailer voice okay or does it need to go like Bucky clearly thinks?”

Bucky goes paler. “Hey, wait, I didn’t say it had to go.”

“It was implied when you brought it up,” he argues.

“No!” Bucky insists. “I was just wondering if it was on purpose.”

They both turn toward Sam, who thinks about it and then makes a ‘sort of’ motion with his hand.

“Aha!” Tony says triumphantly.

“Traitor,” Bucky mutters into his coffee.

Sam signs, “I’ll make it up to you when we get home tonight.”

“And that was more than I ever wanted to learn about Sam and Bucky’s love life,” Tony lies through his teeth. “Let’s get into the theories. I only have two for you today, one of which I think Bucky will particularly like.”

“Oh no.”

“Our first theory is that Steve Rogers died in a plane crash on December 16, 1944. Winter months in the Arctic are known to be particularly stormy. There would have been low visibility due to the high latitude and time of year and with the waters and surrounding land being well below freezing, it’s possible that, even if Captain Rogers survived the impact, he would have frozen to death in the stormy seas.”

Bucky thinks about it for a second. “Yeah, that seems plausible.”

“In addition, Howard Stark, a known Captain America aficionado and the father of Marvels Unsolved’s best host—”

“You lie like a rug!” Bucky howls.

Tony snickers and then when Sam signs, “He’s really not,” bursts out into full-out laughter.

Once he’s recovered, he continues, “Howard Stark has spent the first fifty years after the crash of the Valkyrie and the last twenty funding searches in the Arctic in the hopes of recovering Captain Rogers’ body. He has found no evidence that Captain Rogers survived the crash although he did find part of the remains of the Valkyrie and has since stated that, ‘No human could have survived that crash.’”

The expeditions are a scam and have been since Howard first found the Valkyrie crash site and Uncle Steve along with it. He hadn’t been planning on continuing the expeditions—too costly, as he claims—but when Aunt Peggy had told him that Uncle Steve’s survival had to remain a secret, he’d kept them up for pretense’s sake.

Bucky is saying something about how it sucks that the first superhero is gone and when he finishes, Tony grins and says, “Then you’ll like our second theory.”

“Somehow, every time you say that, I end up completely hating it. Wonder why that is.”

“Our second theory is that Steve Rogers survived the crash and is still alive but cryogenically frozen in the ice. There—”

“Bullshit!”

Tony starts laughing but he tries to continue on over Bucky shouting that it’s complete nonsense. It’s hard and he knows that Sam will probably have to do some editing and maybe make Tony do some voiceover work in order to make the theory audible but he thinks he manages to do a pretty good job.

Bucky is pouting by the end of it, arms crossed over his chest. “What fucking bullshit,” he mutters.

“The supersoldier serum—” Tony starts to point out.

“Isn’t a miracle drug.”

“That’s exactly what it is.”

“No, it just made him big and strong. It doesn’t just magically keep people alive when they should have died.”

And then they’re off into familiar territory, arguing about the merits of either theory. Tony’s actually feeling pretty good about himself, convinced that he’s doing a decent job of steering the conversation away of anything classified, right up until Bucky says, about halfway through the episode, “I’m surprised at you, Tony.”

He wrinkles his nose. “Surprised?”

“Usually, you have some absolutely batshit, off-the-walls crazy theory but these have actually been pretty normal for you.” He pauses and then adds for effect, “And you’re usually much better at your research than this.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh come on, even I know that there’s one more theory.”

He starts tapping at his chest nervously, almost wishing that he had a pair of sunglasses. Aunt Peggy always said that his lies are in his eyes, that they’re too expressive to hide the truth. When he was living with Howard, in the spotlight, he always had a pair of sunglasses to hide his eyes but he hasn’t wanted to use those since he moved out. He wishes he had them now.

“And what’s that?” he asks, feigning a casualness he doesn’t feel.

“That Steve Rogers lived and came out of the ice at some point and has been living out his life in anonymity.”

He barks out a nervous laugh. “I didn’t mention it because even I know that that theory is completely impossible.”

“Hasn’t stopped you before.” Sam nods agreeably. Bucky nods back at him and adds, “Even Sam agrees with me.”

“He’s your boyfriend, he’s practically required to.”

Both Sam and Bucky laugh at that one and yeah, okay, it was a pretty ridiculous statement. Anyone who knows them knows that being boyfriends is less likely to make them agree with each other.

“Look, Steve Rogers didn’t come out of the ice alive. Howard would have known for one thing and if you think, he could keep something like that quiet, then you don’t know him very well.”

“Maybe the government insisted it be a secret,” Bucky suggests, shrugging. “There have been plenty of people who have claimed over the last couple decades to be Captain America.”

Tony scoffs. “Oh come on, by that logic, anyone could be Captain America.”

“Maybe they could be.”

“No,” Tony says flatly. “It’s like that crazy conspiracy theory guy over on Reddit who’s convinced that Bruce Wayne is Batman.”

“Maybe Bruce Wayne is Batman.”

“Ooh do the butts match?” Tony says mockingly. “I mean, really, Bucky Babe, if we’re going off of lookalikes, then my fucking Uncle Steve is secretly really Steve Rogers, which is ridiculous because the guy’s like practically ancient and faints at the sight of blood in PG-13 movies.”

That sets off another round of arguing that lasts the rest of the episode until finally Tony wraps it up with, “Whether Steve Rogers died in 1944 or is still alive today is a mystery that will remain unsolved.”

They both pause for a moment to provide time for Sam to edit in the theme music and closing title. Usually, there would be some lighthearted bantering afterwards, maybe a joke about something they said earlier in the show. This time though, Bucky says thoughtfully, “The thing is, though, I’ve met your Uncle Steve—”

Tony goes cold.

“—and he really does kind of look like—”

Tony panics. That’s the only explanation that he has for declaring, “I’m done waiting,” reaching across the tables and grabbing hold of Bucky’s shirt, and yanking him forward to kiss him.

For a moment, Bucky is too startled to do anything but then he melts into Tony, mouth opening under his, tongue pushing forward to meet his. Bucky’s arms come around him, pulling him up and out of his chair and settling him into his lap. Tony makes a small greedy sound, swallowed by Bucky’s kiss, and then they’re both pulling away. Bucky’s lips are very red; Tony can’t stop staring at them even as he’s filled with dismay.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I shouldn’t have—”

“Why not?” Bucky demands.

“You—Sam—” He glances toward the camera but Sam isn’t standing there anymore. His heart drops into his stomach—has he just ruined Bucky and Sam’s relationship? But then he hears someone drop to their knees behind him and when he turns slightly, Sam’s fingers are on his chin, gently turning his head.

“How long?” Sam asks.

“How long what?”

“How long have we been wasting our time when we could have been kissing you instead?”

Three years, two months, and fifteen days. “Too long.”

Sam kisses him then, mouth gentler than Bucky’s but no less consuming. Bucky is a hard, hot line against his front; Sam is warm against his back and Tony? Tony loses himself in the storm that is the two of them, sparks shooting through him as Bucky’s hands find their way to his hips, as Sam’s tongue slips into his mouth, as Bucky whispers into his ear, “We’re not wasting any more time.”

~

Marvels Unsolved’s 100th episode shoots to their most watched, most liked video in less than a day and when asked, maybe the smallest handful of viewers could have said what it was about.

The day after it posts, only a week after it was filmed, Tony’s phone rings.

“Kill it with fire,” Sam says sleepily.

Tony, however, recognizes Aunt Peggy’s ringtone and he rolls over to grab it before Bucky can throw it at the wall. “Hello?” he asks groggily.

“Congratulations on not blowing Steve’s cover,” she says.

“Oh yeah,” Tony mutters. “Can I go back to bed now?”

“One more thing, duck.”

“What’s that?”

“Congratulations on the new boyfriends.”

[speter-sparker]

Spideypool fic rec #1

*** favorites

other recs by me: X  

1. Seven Ways To Woo by ann_fortunately [one-shot, 10K, POV peter] ***

summary: "I have a mission. Seven days, two people, one purpose, and three years of doing it absolutely wrong according to the social rules of pursuing romance."

or: Peter and Wade have known each other for three years now. If in Peter's opinion Wade has suddenly started acting strangely, it's most probably true.

why you should read it: friends to lovers fic that is so sweet your teeth will rot on spot. A+ characterization with Peter Parker as a pining smart-ass, Wade Wilson as a smitten kitten, and me as a shaking mess. The pacing is consistent and easy, the wording is smooth, and every time I read it my stomach fills with butterflies.  

2. Propositions by stuckybarnes [three-shot, 8K, POV peter]

summary: “Yeah…” Deadpool drawls. “Anyway, Pretty Boy, I have a proposition for you.” This makes Peter kind of want to throw up. Propositions by Deadpool always end up with them in varying degrees of pain, and a lot of explaining to do with the Avengers.

OR

Wade finally convinces a very tired Peter to go to New York Comic-Con with him and enter a Deadpool and Spider-Man cosplay contest, sure they'll win. Obviously. It doesn't go exactly as expected, and Peter is not thrilled.

why you should read it: pre-relationship fic with ASD Peter. More humor than fluff, but its a close call. Their relationship is well written and the characters feel lived in. The characters are fun and on spot, with a charming plot that is executed with as much grace as can be afforded to these two characters. 

3. It Had to Be You by fancastical [two-shot, 20K, POV peter]

summary: Or, Five Times Deadpool Recognised Spider-Man and One Time He Didn't

why you should read it: friends to lovers. this fic was originally a one-shot, with the first chapter being the 5+1, but chapter two came in as a lovely surprise, and while I myself am hesitant to read or even like “afters” in fics, the second half feels as natural and is just as entertaining as the first part. It's the kind of fic you'll find yourself trying to hide your smile while reading and squealing with delight. 

4. Peter's Ghost by QueenRamsia [three-shot, 27 K, POV wade]

summary: Peter is dead. He’s been dead for two years. But he’s still with Wade. He haunts him every second of the day. Wade turns around and there he is, watching him through his dingy apartment window. His voice has been added to the cacophony of Wade’s mind. And Ellie is growing up alone.

why you should read it: post-relationship. okay, not gonna lie: PLEASE be careful what mindset you go into when reading this. The entire thing is an angst fest, and at its lightest is bittersweet. When I finished reading, I couldn't even cry. The story does have a satisfying ending that I would describe as hopeful and deals with the aftermath of losing a loved one. Ellie is wonderfully written in this, and she and Wade share some tender moments and scenes that were stunning. The way they write grief and learning to live after loss is phenomenal, and the plot is captivating and entrancing. 

5. morning in the burned house by antivenom [WIP, 34 K, POV alternating]

summary: Wade’s got a defense mechanism. Grin and bear it.

But the thing is, Wade’s angry into his bones.

(Or, this is what happens when a seemingly unassuming, run-of-the-mill hit gets personal)

why you should read it: enemies to friends to lovers. this isn't light-hearted Wade Wilson. It's more akin to his origin comics, where his laughs feel more like tears. The humor is dark yet charming, and while flashbacks are USUALLY to be a no-go for me, the author does a tremendous job of making every bit of their story captivating and enchanting. Wade and Peter learn about and grow from each other, and watching their relationship go from “fuck this guy” to something more is captivating and the author nails it. 

6. Join the Club by HashtagLEH [WIP, 53 K, POV alternating]

summary: Homeless and mute after everything Peter has been through, he somehow makes friends with Deadpool, as Spiderman. And then he meets the Avengers, as Peter.

Or, alternatively: “Spidey and Deadpool: the Mute and the Motormouth” (a title by Deadpool).

why you should read it: pre-relationship ft. the Avengers. The fic focuses on Peter and coming of age in less than ideal circumstances and builds relationships that feel authentic and kind. It is an interesting take to have a character known for his quips silenced, but the author handles it well and with grace. 

7. BF(F) by Carol989 [6/6, 10K, POV peter]

summary: Five times people thought Wade and Peter were a couple which, seriously, where did they get that from? They are not a couple, stop asking. They are just friends now, and did plenty of friend stuff. Like kissing. And one time people were right.

why you should read it: pre-relationship. Oblivious Peter, smitten Wade, dare I say more?

8. Half Your Age (Plus Seven) by fancastical [17/17, 80 K, POV peter]

summary: In which Deadpool has oddly specific and frustrating morals, Spider-Man has excellent friends, his lab partner has an opening for a bassist, Johnny Storm has the warmest feet, and everyone has had enough of hearing Peter talk about Wade Wilson (except Aunt May: she’s always glad to hear he’s back in town).

why you should read it: friends-to-still-friends-to-STILL-friends-to-lovers. Pining galore ft. Aunt May, Johnny Storm, Mj, and some curious band friends. While the focus is on Peter and coming to terms with his love life, the relationships he has with the other characters (BFF johnny storm is my weakness) are what make this fic. LOTS of relationships and character growth all throughout. For those of you who want a head over heels in love Peter pursuing Wade, this is the fic for you. For those of you hesitant to that (like me), this is also for you. Just... all of you, read this. 

9.  In Which Peter's an Oblivious Idiot by coffea [one-shot, 3K, POV peter]

summary: The five times Wade tells Peter he loves him and the one time Peter gets his head out of his ass.

why you should read it: pre-relationship. oblivious peter and pining wade. sweet and funny and smooth as fuck. 

10.  Off The Record by crookedswingset [16/16, 138 K, POV alternating] ***

summary: Peter Parker is a corporate lackey whose sole job is to root out problem executives who waste Oscorp’s money and time. Wade Wilson is a reserve Avenger on the hunt for a prize even Iron Man couldn’t nail down: the real identity of everyone’s favorite webhead. 

Too bad most people think Spider-Man is Harry Osborn.

why you should read it: hands down my favorite spideypool fic. The world-building is fantastic, all the characters (and there are a LOT) are wonderfully written. If I could marry a work of art this would be it. 

11. Petey and Wade are obviously an item, so why is Spiderman trying to be a Homewrecker? by isaDanCurtisproduction [21/21, 38 K, POV peter]

summary: So, Peter and Wade are dating. Wait, scratch that, they are totally engaged (Peter will show you the ring). Fiances for life, amiright?

Everything from here on out should be totally happy-go-lucky, right?

Right?

If your answer was, "Of course not, Peter's life will never be easy," then you're on the right track.

Peter's life is difficult, and as far as anyone (himself included) knows, it's never going to be easy. 

...But why do the Avengers have to hurt him like this?

why you should read it: established relationship (duh). Focuses heavily on Peters relationship with the Avengers team. All of them are well written, feisty, and you can't help but laugh at the horrible situation Peter/Spidey finds himself in. 

12. we're on a highway to hell (with a little bit of heaven) by dabblingwithwords [22/22, 107 K, POV peter] ***

summary: Hydra has had Peter in their custody for three years. Deadpool is hired to break him out. Throw in an alien symbiote, motels, and superhero explosions and things get gay.

why you should read it: strangers to friends to lovers. wonderfully written, with venom playing wingman, wade playing mother, and peter being exasperated. the plot is captivating and the tension is riveting, keeping you on your toes and holding your breath. watching wade and peters relationship grow is wonderful. Watching them fall in love is breathtaking. Every time I read this I feel short of breath and NO not cause of my asthma. couldn’t recommend this lovely thing more. 

13. Wolves by Saucery [WIP, 53 K, POV peter]

summary: Peter is falsely accused and sent to jail, where he meets the violent ex-mercenary, Wade.

Or: Prison daddy Deadpool looks after his boy.

why you should read it: okay, okay, okay. The pining is *kisses fingers* superb. Despite what it sounds like, the fic doesn't dive immediately into “I'm horny let's DO this”, rather the relationship develops organically and the tension (both sexual and plot) is palpable. Watching Peter navigate his new life is like watching an intense game of chess, where he's going head to head against mob bosses, the system, and a new mysterious program that just might be too good to be true. 

[lightsandlostbells]

Druck episode 8 reaction

just making my way through the tumultuous lives of German youth! some of this is outdated since I fell way behind

Episode 8

Clip 1 - Hanna and Mia = so happy together

Hanna resting her head against Mia’s shoulder = awwwwww. Also cute is Mia hyping up her musical taste and getting Hanna to join in.

Here comes Alexander to ruin the moment!

For some reason it’s hilarious that he offers to sing with them. What if Mia was like yeah, let’s harmonize, show me what you got?

AHAHAHA OK, I know people want there to be a hint of ~flirtation and ~attraction on Mia’s part but you know, I fucking live for her just tearing into him and telling him off and that she’ll report him for harassment. Resounding applause!

On the other hand I cannot buy her falling for him in the slightest. By making her so firmly against him they’re making it an uphill battle convincing me that they’ll get together, especially since Mia seems perhaps the most outspokenly feminist remake Noora.

Hanna smiling and being like, “You’re so cool, Mia,” and Mia all like, “Thanks, I read this thing in an article about pickup artists using the wrong names for women to make them feel submissive!” And then the two of them happily go back to singing? This version of the scene is incredible.

Like Mia read some PUA bullshit about men trying to make women feel small, and she turned it back on a shitty man who treats women like crap! How can you not appreciate that?

Also I take back what I said previously about Mia and Hanna not being flirty compared to this pairing in other Skams. The end of this scene was total girlfriend goals.

Clip 2 - Nein, Kiki

Amira and Sam - the cutest. I would pay to see them operating that canine squad.

Well, I kinda hate Kiki again. That was a hell of a segue from her Amy Santiago-ing the party security setup to talking shit about Hanna.

I do love Hanna telling Kiki to drop it. I feel like we’ve begun to see more of a backbone on her. And Mia coming to Hanna’s defense, of course.

The reveal of the Hanna and Leonie friendship breakup is underwhelming compared to some other versions. It’s more focused on Kiki being an asshole than Hanna’s internal anguish. However, they did throw in one detail, about Hanna snagging Jonas at Sarah’s birthday party which I liked, because I’ve always wanted even more details about how they got together. I can’t remember, but did we ever hear about Leonie crying on Hanna’s shoulder while Hanna and Jonas were sneaking around behind Leonie’s back? Or is the implication that they hooked up at the birthday party and Leonie found out pretty soon, and that was that?

“Honestly, Hanna, you shouldn’t be surprised that everyone’s calling you a slut.” What the hell, Kiki. She delivers it so smugly.

Mia and Amira defending Hanna, I sure love these girls. And while Sam’s comment about “slut” being a compliment is not really the best thing to say considering the context, she was trying to be nice.

Mia also points out that it takes two to tango, it’s not just Hanna’s fault, and then Kiki says something spot-on despite her general unpleasantness in this scene - she mentions Jonas (not just Toilet Sam) for being a “slut” too, which I don’t think anyone in any of the Skams has yet done. I think it’s usually focused on the P-Chris character also being slutty? Not that I agree with the “slut” terminology specifically, more than I don’t think anyone ever singled out Jonas as a cheater, and I mean, I love him but it’s true. It’s not fair at all that the Evas have to bear the burden of the homewrecker label alone, especially when Jonas was the one already in a relationship.

Sam’s comment about “I don’t care about Jule, and Leonie is a bitch. And Jonas and Hanna are way cuter together” almost feels like commentary about the audience. Because that’s how it would be - we know almost nothing about Jule except she attacked Hanna, so who cares about her, and we’ve seen Leonie only through Hanna’s POV as an aggressive mean girl. And well, Jonas and Hanna are twelve kinds of cute. But of course that’s only one side of the story. Jule and Leonie are both wronged parties here and feeling hurt and betrayed for valid reasons even if they don’t express it in the best way. Kiki is right, Leonie is the victim here, whatever her other faults.

And again, Sam says this to help Hanna, it’s just not that helpful.

“In your Muslim gangster world, wouldn’t she have been attacked by acid by now or something?” WOW WOW. I sorta liked Kiki, but I’m definitely wanting to retract that statement.

Really, she unleashed that on Amira for absolutely no reason! Amira was just sitting there, not saying anything!

I think Kiki is lashing out like a wounded animal though. She’s trashing her friends with a viciousness that I don’t think Vilde had.

I love love love Amira though. Really, I would love to see S4 about her (with heavy rewrites, heh). You can tell that she’s really hurt by what Kiki has just said and needed a moment to compose herself.

Amira’s prayer alarm going off right then was a good clincher to that moment, a reminder of Amira’s Muslim-ness just to rub it in for Kiki, and probably to twist the knife a little for Amira, tbh. People will always judge her on her religion.

Also, great moment from Sam asking Kiki why she always needs to fight. It’s a big difference from Chris just sitting out this scene in awkward silence and trying to avoid conflict. But you can tell that Sam was trying to help out Hanna and perhaps neutralize the tension in this scene, she just doesn’t always know the right thing to say. I think it’s consistent characterization for her to ask why Kiki needs to be confrontational.

Lol, Kiki left her stuff behind when she marched out.

Clip 3 - Hanna and Jonas being sad together

Ahhh, it’s Jonas playing the guitar! Is that an existing song or just a tune he made up?

There’s a slight shift in context to having them sit in a bedroom (an intimate location) but far apart at first when they have this discussion, rather than in a public place like a skate park, but with seemingly less distance between them. The skate park is more like a neutral ground for them to meet. This is Hanna going into Jonas’ private space and being unwelcome. She knew it and started off putting space between them. It felt kinda uncomfortable. 

Also, major props to the Druck team for making Jonas play the guitar, which is clearly something the actor does in real life, and not a skater just because original Jonas/Marlon Langeland was a skater. I like when they can adapt the characters to the actors’ strengths.

The Jonas actor is doing a great job of conveying his hurt, and not just because he has a guitar to air out his sads and to use whenever words aren’t enough. Hanna too - she looks still and like a shell of herself as he questions her entire character.

Nice detail about Hanna suddenly being into the bands Jonas likes, as a way to add support to the “she doesn’t have her own opinions” line of development.

This scene really got across the theeeeme/message and showed how hurt they both were - of course it’s not nice for Jonas to say that, but you can tell he’s genuinely confused and torn about what she’s doing and he’s not just saying it to lash out at her, and of course Hanna is devastated because it always hurts to be told you don;t have your own personality, plus Jonas just laid out the reasoning in front of her.

Clip 4 - Menstrual message

Lol, not that this is funny in context, but I think Hanna’s the only Eva who throws the note in the trash instead of dropping it on the floor? Good for her, that way no hapless janitor or other student has to come across someone’s period blood in the hallway. Though I certainly get the instinct to drop it, I mean ... ewww.

(By the way, am I the only one who has questioned whether this letter, in any/all iterations, was really written in menstrual blood? Not that I would interact with the letter long enough to find out, if it were me, but is it possible it’s just paint or something and was called “period blood” just to get some extra intimidation for Hanna?)

They kept in this conversation with Kiki which is good, though she doesn’t clarify that she’s left the party because she thinks the girls hate her. I think if you didn’t know the plot, you could assume even worse of Kiki and think that maybe she quit to rid herself of the girls, the school slut and the scary Muslim. Her departing lines to Hanna do feel rather brusque.

Clip 5 - Matteo trying to do damage control

The music sounded a little upbeat for what’s supposed to be a low moment for Hanna, though the lyrics are melancholy. But it cracked me up that Matteo’s presence was announced by what sounded like a skateboard and yet Matteo did not appear to have a skateboard.

I love that they have this conversation in person, though. Matteo sought her out to sit down and tell her that it’s unfair everyone hates her so much. Even though, you know … he caused it. But I think it’s a mark of how much he regrets his actions already.

I noticed he did the trademark Isak reptilian lip-licking at one point. Common enough gesture but I am always gonna associate it with that duplicitous Norwegian.

Matteo’s message didn’t seem to sink in during the conversation as much, with Hanna getting frustrated more than anything, but it’s great that he tells her it’d be a pity if she left right before he leaves.

Clip 6 - Hanna, Leonie, and Jule

We didn’t get the scene with the older girls, or with Mia/Amira telling Hanna that it was Leonie who hooked up with Sam. I guess because Leonie didn’t actually hook up with Sam in this version. Actually, it’s great that Hanna confronts Leonie without using the knowledge that Leonie made out with Sam as leverage; she just does it on her own in order to make her school situation more bearable.

Also, there’s no incentive for how the situation will impact the other girls, neither Hanna nor the other girls think the rest of the school is retaliating against them all for their association with Hanna. It’s just Hanna acting independently. Kudos.

As with the Jonas scene, we have Leonie sitting down against the wall closed off to what Hanna’s going to say, and Hanna at first puts distance between them but later tries to lessen it. This time a little more successfully.

Hanna talks about how at her old school she was the “fat girl that everyone bullied” - that adds a lot of pain to her backstory. In OG it was that when Eva switched schools, no one wanted to talk to her because of her accent and Ingrid was nice to her, I don’t recall any talk of bullying prior to that. This detail makes Hanna’s situation even worse. Especially if you think about she was planning to switch schools again this episode, and that this would be the second time she has switched schools due to bullying. At least I think that’s implied although she could have switched schools the first time due to a mundane reason, like moving. But it would also add some extra weight to Matteo’s talk about running away when things get difficult, and support why she would choose to confront Leonie on her own like this.

This is a pretty stark conversation with the lack of accompanying emotional music and the echo from the mostly empty room. Everything comes from Hanna baring her soul, basically.

Lol, Leonie just gets up and leaves at the end, which is fine, I guess. She’s not chased out by Jule about to beat her ass. Hanna discovers on her own that it was Jule who sent the threat letter, so good for her for connecting the dots.

Unfortunately they rushed this conversation with Jule, although at least they got the right points, with Hanna saying that she didn’t know Samuel had a girlfriend but apologizing for it anyway, and pointing out that it isn’t fair for Jule to be mad at her but not him. It was definitely disappointing that Jule wasn’t humanized that much, though, and that she walks away still having a chip on her shoulder, plus the reveal that it was Matteo felt forced.

I do love this closing song (”Devil’s Whisper” by Raury). A great RUN BOY RUN song to lead into Hanna realizing she needs to throttle Matteo.

General Comments

It’s too bad that they left out some very strong parts of the source material. For example, the older girls giving their wisdom to Hanna aren’t there at all, though I can see how with the changed context why it might have been hard (why would the older girls give a shit about ostracizing the kids working security at their party). Also Jule just doesn’t get the amount of time necessary to make us feel better about her. I think Druck has done a decent job of some of the Girl Power moments and those probably would have been executed well if giving the right amount of time.

Tbh this episode is full of material where that lays out for me why it’s good to have younger actors in these roles. They make so many mistakes and there are such little moments of hurt and frustration, and it just seems more real when you can fully absorb that these are kids. 

I don’t speak German, so if I misunderstood something, feel free to correct me.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[alwaysbemymaybe-phff]

Chapter 15

AN: I know, I know. You guys will probably hate me after reading this chapter but I promise that everything leads to something good. Love you all and feedbacks are always welcome here. <3

The End of Something

Harry thinks he’s going mad.

 The prince stood in front of his full length mirror staring at himself; by his feet are a heap of clothes he had previously tried on. I think I shouldn’t be too formal. He thought deciding to change into a more casual button up shirt and jeans. This is it. This is perfect. He thought before grabbing his keys on top of his drawer and a bottle of wine he had stolen from Kate and William on top of his dining table.

 Bella tapped her wooden spoon on top of her stove in thought. Why did he want to have dinner? She thought probably for the millionth time. Is he going to tell me he can’t see me anymore? But then she quickly shook her head. What if he does? I shouldn’t care. Stop being so stupid, Bella. Tonight she had cooked some mashed potatoes, peas and carrots, rib eye steak with mushroom sauce, and she baked a cake just to hell with it. Glancing at her clock, she saw that it’s 6:30pm- she decided to take a quick shower and change clothes.

Well, what will I do if she says that she doesn’t feel the same? Harry thought as he drove his way towards Bella’s house. The whole drive; all he could think about are possibilities. What would he do? He’s going to put his feelings on the line; he’s going to put it out there. But of course, he can’t always believe that he will get what he wants and so he’s opening up his mind on a possible refusal or rejection. He parked on the open spot behind Bella’s black BMW. Well, here goes nothing.

 His heart thudded inside his chest as he walked his way towards her front door; one of his hand clenched the wine bottle and the other knocked on her door. When the door opened, everything inside his mind disappeared as Bella smiled at him, gave him a tight hug, before ushering him inside the house.

 “So, how have you been?” Bella asked taking the bottle of wine from his hand and walking towards the kitchen.

 Harry smiled following her. “It was great.”

 Because he fixed things with Meghan. Bella frowned at the thought but quickly shrugged it off by giving out a breath and facing Harry with a smile on her face. “That’s good to hear.” She said and he saw his face go bright red- she decided to ignore that as well.

 It is a feeling of just wanting to grab Bella and kissing her when she turned and smiled at him. Her hair falling into perfect places, her eyes sparkling, her lips stretched out in a smile. It is tempting for Harry. Keep yourself together. His mind warned and he breathed in deeply before asking, “So, any help I can offer?”

 “Just help me bring these plates to the table.” They sat facing each other as they ate dinner. It was silent and there’s awkwardness in the air due to words Harry wanted to say. Bella, on the other hand, doesn’t know how to pry Harry into telling her what he wanted to say until finally, she sighed and asked, “What’s up?”

 She’s straight to the point. Harry thought as he looked up at Bella’s intent face. He shook his head. I need more wine before I get though this. He thought before smiling. “I think we better finish dinner first before I do.”

 Bella reluctantly nodded and they continued eating in silence. This is absolutely unusual. She thought after the main course and she glanced at Harry who’s poking and slowly eating the cake she had baked. If he’s going to say that we can’t be friends anymore, then why not just say it? She thought not having anymore appetite and placing her fork on her plate gently. “Really, Harry. What’s wrong?”

 Harry sighed, “You remember when I kissed you back in Thailand?” he asked looking up at Bella.

 The doctor nodded her head slowly, “Yes. And I told you, it doesn’t matter.” She answered not really wanting to open that topic once again. “Are you bothered by it still?”

 “Not particularly.” Harry said placing his fork down on the plate now too. “It’s not just that.”

 Does he remember what he said? Bella asked herself seeing Harry’s posture from before her and she sighed, “Do you remember properly?” she finally asked and Harry looked up at her confused. “What happened that night.”

 He shook his head, “I can just remember that I kissed you.”

 Bella bit her lip and nodded her head remaining quiet once again. I can’t just say ‘oh hey! You forgot but you told me that you love me.’ She thought drumming her fingers on her lap. It was quiet once again and she tried so much to know what’s bothering Harry or what he is thinking. Problem is, she’s never good at reading men. Yes, she may be smart but she’s no telepath.

 Harry, on his side, tried to think of what really happened that night on Thailand. However, all he could remember was just kissing her. That’s everything he could recall- him kissing her, the feel of her lips on his. It annoyed him so much that he couldn’t remember shit- obviously, he had done something else that he couldn’t remember. But still, he’s not sure if he already told her. Maybe he told her that he wanted to marry Meghan or that he’s attracted to Bella- maybe Bella thinks that he’s objectifying her. The possibilities are endless and he’s scared shitless of whatever had gone out of his mouth. But he figured, it will never be over if he continued just thinking of what he had told her instead of saying whatever he wants to say now- that he’s sober.

 And so, he sighed looking at Bella who also looked back at him at the same time. Come on, you can do it. He encouraged himself as he felt tongue tied once again. Garnering enough courage, he stood up from his seat and made his way to seat beside Bella’s chair, facing her and she faced him as well with a confused look on his face. “I have to tell you now.” He said taking her hand and holding it with both of his before pulling it to his lips- kissing the back of her soft hand.

 “I love you.” He whispered keeping his hold on her hand and he felt so happy saying it. It was like having weights lifted off his shoulders and he stared at her wide eyes and slightly parted mouth.

 After a few seconds, Bella placed her other hand on top of his and she gave a bitter smile. “I know.” She whispered.

 It then registered into Harry. She knew. He told her at Thailand- he thought he was imagining it when he thought that he did after he kissed her but now, he remembers it. He did tell her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 “I didn’t get the chance to.” Bella answered. “You’re with Meghan, Harry.”

 It is like being stabbed with a knife as she said it and Harry knew, that she’s not going to ruin his relationship by the way she looked at him. The pain in her eyes as tears formed in it. “I can break it off.” He said and she shook her head.

 You can’t be with him, Bella. You’re going to ruin him if you die. “Don’t.” she responded shaking her head still. “You and I, we’re not going to work.”

 “We haven’t even tried yet.” Harry said persistent and he felt like crying. He had thought of it on his way to her house but being rejected by her still felt like being punched on the chest.

 Bella bit her lip trying her best not to cry. She did want to be with him. Undoubtedly so. “I have my career, Harry. I love being a doctor.” She lied. If she wasn’t sick, she’ll give up being a doctor for him in a snap. “I cannot leave my career. I can’t be just a duchess- restricted.”

 “We can change that.”

 I know. She thought smiling painfully before slowly leaning and kissing Harry on the lips but quickly pulling away, “Meghan will be there for you through thick and thin. She’ll stay beside you and live happily for a long time. I can’t promise you the same.”

 It broke Harry’s heart. Here is the woman he loves who had just chosen her career over him. He couldn’t do anything else apart from let go of Bella’s hand, stand up, and walk out of her home. “DAMN IT!” he yelled slamming his hand on his steering wheel when he got inside his car. He drove his way home constantly wiping the tears that fell from his eyes. He’s not angry, no. He couldn’t be angry at Bella for choosing what she lives for. She is just like his former exes- they all value their freedom- they couldn’t love and live the duties of royal life.

 Bella remained seated on her dining room sobbing. It was already at the palm of her hands and she had to let him go. Just remember that he deserves someone much better. She tried to console herself but she couldn’t stop crying. Although she knew that she rejected him, the heartbreak that came with it is still unfathomable. She couldn’t bear being with him and dying on him. He doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve another woman he loves dying.  

 Bella didn’t sleep properly. Truthfully, she stayed up most of the night and would only fall into a light sleep. By six in the morning, however, she heard her doorbell ringing continuously as if someone is pressing it over and over again. She stood up from her bed feeling so emotionless and empty then dragged herself towards her front door where her father stood with the morning paper on his hand.

 “Dad?” Bella asked confused. “Don’t you have a key?”

 Doctor Gerard cautiously came in the room looking around and Bella followed him slowly. “Is he still here?” he asked his daughter who just gave back a confused look at him. Gerard sighed and handed the newspaper towards Bella.

 The front page showed Harry and her on her doorstep hugging.

 Prince Harry and the Royal Homewrecker!

 The headline said and Bella felt her hands go cold and her heart started thudding in her chest. She sat down on a stool inside her kitchen and scanned the whole article and she figured that she was labeled as the Royal Homewrecker, a bimbo. She gave out a shaky breath. How can this be? She thought biting her bottom lip.

 “What’s going on, Bells?” her father asked making Bella look up at her father. “Are you and him-?”

 “No.” Bella shook her head not letting her father finish. “No. We’re not.” She continued.

 Gerard gave her daughter a conflicted look. The name of their hospital is in the article and their name is currently tarnished. He couldn’t believe the article at first. “We’re a family of doctors, Bella. This is not good.” He said gesturing towards the paper on top of the counter. “This is bad publicity for our hospital. What were you thinking, Isabella?”

 Harry stared at the paper on top of his breakfast table. The picture of him and Bella hugging are clearly visible but what caught his eye the most is the headline. “What can we do about this?” he asked Troy who stood stoic by the table. “She’s not a homewrecker. She’s a friend.”

 Troy nodded even though he doesn’t believe Harry’s statement. “Well, we can release a statement.” He suggested and Harry looked up at him. “We can release a statement telling that you and Bella developed a great friendship while on a mission to Sentebale.”

 “Yes, please do that.” Harry said and he watched Troy walk out of his dining hall. This is why she didn’t want to be with you. His mind thought and Harry doesn’t want to think anymore. He sat there quietly staring at the newspaper still on top of his table only pulled out of his self loathing when his phone rang and Meghan’s name flashed on the screen.

 As expected, the paparazzi flocked outside MMMC wanting to take a glimpse of Bella when she arrived at 10 in the morning to be on time for her 11 o’clock consultation. To avoid the press, she chose to go through the back of the hospital where medical supply deliveries go through.

 Kathy is obviously waiting for Bella when the latter entered the office. “Doctor- the newspapers-”

 “Kathy, please, a good morning will be good right now.” Bella grumbled obviously not in the mood to explain herself or say anything anymore. “So, good morning, Kath.”

 Kathy forced a smile, “Good morning too, doctor.” She greeted but followed the doctor inside her office. “Doctor Gerard requested to tighten up security.” She informed the doctor who nodded and Kath stood there quietly for a while, watching Bella settle on her office chair.

 “What is it, Kathy?”

 “So, the Mr. Harry that was calling a fortnight ago..” Kath trailed off and Bella gave out a huge exasperated breath.

 “There’s nothing going on between me and him, Kath.”

 “Ok.”

 It continued for a few days and Bella is getting stressed of the media attention. She had received several threats on her office clinic, two of her patients hated her, and she now has a hate group very much dedicated into how much they hate her- and are trying to get her discredited from being a doctor. She felt like the world had closed in on her when one afternoon, Kathy suddenly barged in her room holding her mobile phone and showing it to Bella. “The palace released a statement.”

 Bella read the statement carefully. Prince Harry and Doctor Clarke had established a good friendship while on a medical mission on Sentebale. Prince Harry wishes for the press or the public to be very cautious of their judgment towards Doctor Clarke and for the public to respect his current relationship with Miss Markle. Bella stopped reading and pushed the phone back towards Kathy.

 For a month, Bella didn’t hear anything from Harry. A part of her felt empty and hurt but a part of her is also thankful. Maybe he decided to just focus on Meghan. She thought and as much as it hurt her, she figured that it would be best for both of them. Her attacks had been constant although not severe. There are times that she would suddenly feel light headed or that her chest would suddenly hurt. As much as she can, she hid it from everyone and she thinks her parents think that she’s getting better as neither both didn’t mention about another visit to Doctor West.

 “Doctor?” Kathy knocked on the door and Bella looked up from her paperwork to see Kathy walking in with an envelope held on her hand. “This letter came from Prince Seeiso.” She continued handing the envelope towards the doctor.

 Dearest Doctor Clarke,

 I am writing this letter to personally invite you to join us in Sentebale’s Annual Dinner Gala. I would very much appreciate it if you can join us as you have been a huge part of our community this year. And, also, I would like to request your services for the fortnight starting next week.

 For confirmation, kindly call us on 8-756-6543.

 Yours Sincerely,

 Prince Seeiso

 Then with the handwritten letter is a simple invitation with gold stamping on the front. Bella bit her bottom lip. Should I go or not? She asked herself taking her phone off her pocket and seeing a message from Doctor Mike telling her that he’ll see her in Sentebale. Bella breathed in deeply. Well, I think it won’t hurt if I go. Mike will be there. She thought dialing the number provided by Prince Seeiso to confirm her presence.

 Prince Harry wanted so much to call Bella for the past month and ask her how she is holding up. He spent too much time staring at his phone just wanting to contact her yet he couldn’t- he thinks that it would be best to lay off of her for a while. Thankfully, Meghan bought his excuse that he went to Bella’s house because he wanted to talk to Bella about the next medical mission- it took Meghan a few hours to calm down but at least this time, she didn’t make things worse.

 Harry, let her go. He thought and finally, instead of dialing Bella’s number or calling her, he blocked then deleted Bella’s number from his phone.