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innytoes · 4 years ago

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Self-Insert January: Let’s Go Steal A Protégé

Yes I did write a self-insert fanfic of my own fanfic. Most of this was written in December and then um, January happened. This takes place December, probably before Christmas (and is obviously not canon).

Happy Self Insert month!

Being with Leverage, Jamie had seen a lot of weird stuff. Done a lot of weird stuff, too. But all the breaking into highly classified places and museums and pretending to be a circus performer and jumping off the Eiffel Tower did not prepare them for the magic portal that opened up in the ceiling of the Leverage Offices, or the lady that fell through it.

Luckily, their startled yell had summoned an Eliot, which meant that if this was the beginning of an intergalactic space war or some kind of mutant criminal rival of Parker’s, Team Leverage was going to come out on top.

Except Eliot actually put away his knife and greeted the lady, who struggled out of the squashy purple beanbag chair she landed on. “Hardison, Parker, Inny’s here!” he called.

“What the hell is an Inny?” Jamie asked. Was it a species of alien? Was Hardison’s Doctor Who obsession because they literally knew The Doctor? Honestly, it wouldn’t really surprise Jamie.

“I the hell am an Inny,” Ceiling-Lady said, before gasping and pointing at them. Which was concerning, to say the least.

“That’s Inny,” Hardison said, coming into the office and handing the lady one of Jamie’s Mountain Dews. Rude. “She’s from a darker timeline and drops out of the ceiling once or twice a year to catch up. And get inspiration for her fanfiction. Apparently we’re like, a TV show over there. What’s up, girl?”

“Is that why nobody is allowed to move the beanbag chair?” Jamie asked. They had thought it was some weird Parker thing. Or perhaps that it was on top of some kind of secret trap door to Hardison’s BatCave or something. They ignored the part about the fanfiction and the TV show. That was too Truman Show to think about. Though their brain was already going over actors they’d cast as the team. Eliot would totally be played by Chris Evans, right?

Inny stopped chugging the Mountain Dew long enough to shrug. “They used to live somewhere with way lower ceilings. Nearly broke something falling from this one.”

“Yeah, me,” Eliot grumbled. He nearly broke something again when Parker dropped down from the ceiling onto his back. “Dammit, Parker!”

“Inny!” Parker proclaimed. “How is Deeks?”

“Good!” the lady fished a beaten up phone out of her pocket. “He met some alpacas, wanna see?” Parker snatched up the phone and made delighted noises. Jamie peered over her shoulder. They had to admit the dog was pretty cute, and the alpacas looked very intrigued by their small, same-coloured, short-necked friend.

“How’s life in the darkest timeline?” Hardison asked.

“What date is it here?” the lady asked, looking around. “I mean, if you still know.”

“Why wouldn’t we know?” Parker asked, still swiping through dog pictures.

“Well, I mean, 2020, am I right?” Inny said, waiting for a reaction. She looked incredulous at their blank faces. “It is 2020, here, right?”

“Um, yeah?” Hardison ventured carefully.

“How dark is this timeline of yours?” Jamie asked carefully. Sure, it was a tumblr joke, usually reserved for stuff like the however-many-renewed-season of Supernatural when great shows were cancelled or whatever creepy feature FriendCzar had tried to impose that month.

The woman paused, frowned, then took a deep breath. “In response to the global pandemic of a deadly respiratory virus, President Donald Trump suggested on television during a briefing that people should inject or ingest bleach to kill the virus.” She took another big breath. “And that’s not mentioning the fact that he downplayed the seriousness of the virus while knowing how deadly and contagious it was, called it a hoax, made taking safety precautions a political thing instead of a public safety thing, and held massive super-spreader events.”

“Donald Trump?” Jamie asked. “The ‘you’re fired’ dude?”

“Oh my sweet summer child,” Inny responded, before taking another swig of her Mountain Dew. “Yeah, I mean, I thought the fact that Australia was on fire at the start of the year was going to be the only terrible thing I was going to tell you.” She laughed and shook her head ruefully, like that was some kind of funny joke.

“Australia was on fire?”

“Yeah. Parts of the US too, for a while. Orange skies. But since the country was basically on lockdown anyway, it wasn’t like it was very different to stay inside for that…” Jamie stared at the lady, then back at the adults. Parker didn’t look overly concerned, but then, she never really did. Eliot and Hardison were both frowning, though. There was no sign that this was some kind of elaborate prank Hardison was pulling on them with the help of one of Sophie’s acting friends. Besides, he was good, but not ‘fake opening a magic portal in the ceiling’ good. At least not within the five minutes Jamie had been in the other room.

After a litany of horrible things, which were apparently not even all of them, the woman stopped. “On the upside,” she said. “I perfected my banana bread recipe, Deeks met some alpacas, Leverage is getting a reboot, and I figured out why I probably keep dropping in here.”

“To remind us that things aren’t so bad like some messed up version of ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’?” Hardison guessed.

“Because Jamie is my OC,” she said, dropping a fucking bombshell like she just dropped out of the fucking ceiling. Jamie felt their brain fill with static, because no, they were a real person, and that either meant that this lady was full of bullshit, or, well, basically god. The Truman Show feeling returned ten times over. “This is my fanfic.”

Hardison recoiled a little. “No,” he whispered, fully understanding the implications of that. Hell, it was probably even weirder for him. Sure, knowing they were a TV show was probably cool, even more so with the reboot. But Fanfic Land didn’t fade to black and Jamie was pretty damn sure some kinky shit went on behind the soundproofed doors of their bedroom.

“Now, there’s two prevailing theories about this, as far as my internet rabbithole searches can tell,” Basically God Maybe continued. “Either I wrote this world into existence, because the multiverse is ever expanding and that is one of the ways it expands, or I just got some vibes from whatever crack between worlds keeps bringing me here and wrote down your shenanigans.”

At Parker and Eliot’s blank looks, Jamie clarified: “Basically, she’s either God or…”

“Some kind of shitty false prophet,” the lady on the beanbag chair beamed. “Probably the second one, honestly. My subconscious turns everything into a zombie apocalypse sooner or later, and you guys seem to be fine.”

Jamie whipped around to look at Hardison and Eliot, hopeful. “We’re fine, right?” they asked quickly. If anyone knew about a starting zombie apocalypse, it would be those two. Between Hardison poking around in basically every intelligence agency’s server ever and Eliot’s contacts, they’d know. God, Jamie hoped not. They were so not ready for a zombie apocalypse. Eliot hadn’t even taught them how to murder someone with an axe yet.

“We are definitely fine,” Hardison assured them.

“Yeah, I figured,” Not-God agreed. “If I had my say, Eliot would have stopped pining long before he did and kissed you guys.” Eliot grumbled and glared, probably because she was right. Parker patted him condescendingly on the head, which wasn’t helping matters.

The ceiling started crackling and glowing ominously. The lady put her can down as she slowly drifted off the beanbag, alien-abduction style. “Well, it’s been real. Be good, guys. Have some fun adventures. Ruin some rich douchebag’s day for me.”

“Will do,” Parker promised. “Say hi to your dog for me.” She got a thumbs up.

“Let us know how the reboot turns out,” Hardison said. Jamie figured it would probably fuck with the space-time continuum if she downloaded the show and brought it to them, but who knew. Maybe there was some kind of loophole for that, too. They were kind of curious to see what a Leverage show would look like. It probably had kickass fight-scenes.

“Stay safe,” Eliot said seriously. He’d been the most concerned about the talk of the pandemic, probably because you couldn’t punch it.

“Will do,” Inny shrugged. “I mean, 2021 can’t possibly be any worse, right?”

The portal crackled louder, which Jamie hoped wasn’t a sign. The lady was almost at the ceiling. She looked concerned, like she realised she just totally jinxed herself and the new year.

“Hey, just in case you are god,” Jamie called up. “Can you give me superpowers?”

The portal closed to the sound of laughter, and then there was silence. All that remained was a dent in the beanbag and an empty can of Mountain Dew.

“What the fuck,” they told the room at large.

“Yeah, you get used to it,” Parker said, before wandering off back to the blueprints she had been studying.

“I’m just gonna… check some things,” Hardison muttered, making a detour to the kitchen to grab a ginormous bottle of orange soda before getting behind his computer. “And buy a bunch of disinfectant and toilet paper, just in case.”

Eliot rolled his eyes, before bumping his shoulder against Jamie’s. “Come on,” he said.

“Come on where?” Jamie asked. “I’m having a bit of an existential crisis here.” If they were someone’s OC, did that mean that they didn’t have free will? Did it mean that all the cool things they had done the past year had only been because of some weird lady that fell out of the ceiling? Or did it mean-

“I’m gonna teach you to throw a knife so you can take out a zombie,” Eliot said.

Fuck that, the existential crisis could wait until 2am. They had more important things to do. Knife throwing would be fun and useful no matter if there was a zombie apocalypse or a pandemic, or they got superpowers.

#fanfic #self insert month #I wrote a thing #leverage #lets go steal a protege #HardisonxParkerxEliot #I almost didn't post this because of you know the civil war thing in the US #but then I thought wouldn't it be funny if this was pre-january and self insert Inny was just like: well fuck #dear americans I'm sorry #yes Deeks did meet some alpacas it was adorable

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afraschatz · 6 years ago

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Leverage - The Rashomon Job

‘The Rashomon Job’ is clearly one of the cleverest episodes ever, is pretty much sheer storytelling porn all over. And I’m not even trying to go for a full analysis why it is so awesome and instead just stick to a random list of stuff I love aboutit. I love (that)...

... how the ep starts with the bar being ready for closing but the team minus Nate are mid-argument and completely oblivious to the fact that everyone else has left. This is so their living room, and as much as I like the notion that they all have other friends (one of my favourite thing about The Girls Night Out / The Boys Night Out actually), there is nothing more lovely than proof of them hanging out, even when they are not on a job

... Parker having fetched Dad err Nate to resolve the argument

... Sophie’s “shush, you did fine in prison the first time”. Like, Moreau who? We’re having a SERIOUS argument here

...”I STOLE IT” and ALL their expressions, but particularly Parker’s facepalm (haha, you know you’re in trouble when Parker is the sane one in a fight) and Hardison’s MASSIVE eyeroll. And Nate’s utter GLEE. He is so evil. And I think one of my favourite things about this ep is that his smirk does not go away for the ENTIRE episode. He is just so amused for the entire thing <3

... Eliot and Hardison backing each other up re: Sophie is lying

... Sophie being the first one to tell her story. Which makes so much sense because everything we see - the museum itself, the guests in the background, the music, the food, everything, is what Sophie TELLS us. Even though we don’t hear her say all that of course, the fact that we as viewers see all that is due to Sophie setting the scene with so much attention to detail. It’s a setting that the others’ stories will continue using / warping to their convenience, but the ground work is all Sophie’s

... Sophie’s choice of dress for this. I love you, Sophie, but what an actual catastrophe is that pink thing? Whyyyyy? I mean, okay aside from the fact that everyone else is NOT wearing pink and clearly she is the center of attention (I mean, she takes the time to tell us that she got fricking APPLAUSE on arrival)

... Nate appearing out of nowhere behind her, completely not dressed for the occasion and the only one not smitten with her. His questions of course clue you in that this is Nate-in-the-pub asking these questions, but I am so in love with his sudden appearance, his casual clothes, his lack of admiration being the visible info that he is NOT part of the story. And don’t get me started on the mirror / Nate behind glass thing, and Coswell standing in exactly the same spot that Nate just vacated

... and there is the second thing about Sophie’s way of telling the story. She is so proud of her accomplishment and the scene she set and is setting again for Nate’s sake that she includes details such as other people’s jewellery etc, but she completely fails to focus even just once on other people. She dismisses the waitress/Parker without looking at her, same as she didn’t even glance at Coswell. Such a great bit of Sophie characterisation right there

... Bioko slapping the offended guest’s butt. Because of course Bioko is Hardison and while we can’t trust his account of events later on either (=being adored by every female in the room), THIS kind of behaviour doesn’t fit him either. So again, it’s down to Sophie’s kind of faulty storytelling here; she needs an oaf for a fall guy/distraction and Bioko kinda fits the bill and she leaves it at that

... Sophie hurrying up the storytelling when Bioko is coking. That contrasted to the amount of time she spent relaying to us how utterly enchanting Abernathy found her? Again, so neat, because Sophie isn’t really interested in any kind of drama she isn’t the centre of, and thus the entire man-dying-situation is merely a footnote to her - hastily told, strangely paced and comically overacted by Abernathy

...Sophie’s completely different body language when she plays the doctor. Her accents of course are legend, but man, the way she changes her walk and posture and gestures as well? So flawless

... Sophie perceiving Coswell’s attention to her as a threat and thus completely missing that he is flirting with her. That in combination of her thinking that Abernathy is flirting while Eliot definitely has other motives (as well)? Wow, Sophie, something really is going wrong with your pulling game that night :)

... Sophie even adding sound effects to the completely over-the-top (and imaginary) shotgun that Coswell in her story carries down the stairs

...”The dagger wasn’t in the shipment” - and Eliot’s GLEE. Seriously, he and Nate in this ep? Such dicks. Such brothers. <3

...the setting for Eliot’s part of the story. Where Sophie gave us an establishing shot of the museum, then the museum in all its glory and filled with guests, what does Eliot give us? Some concrete walls, cardbord boxes and neon light. What is far more important is a detailled account on the fight with two guys we don’t even know and that don’t even matter. Because fighting is important, damnit

... “If I’m not honest with you, you can’t improve”

...after Eliot re-used Sophie’s establishing shot of the museum, once again, he goes for the dark-corners-close up. In that car, with that poor guy. And all Eliot has to do to be seriously scary is to just not smile. He doesn’t even need to raise his voice

... Eliot taking the piss out of Sophie’s accent. We know he can do Sophie’s normal accent properly - he just DID it when he took over the story and told the team that he was Abernathy - so the sole reason why he uses that accent is because he wants to mess with Sophie <3

...the size of the knife. Thank you, Eliot, for clearing that up. That makes so much more sense than Sophie’s (or Hardison’s or Parker’s OR Nate’s version)

...Bioko and Eliot in the basement. Eliot being annoyed by Hardison without even knowing it IS Hardison, hahaha <3

... locked-up comedy frame. Always hilarious

...again, a very detailled and close up account of the fight

... Coswell carrying the box for the roses, not a gun, in Eliot’s story. Because different from the grifter, the hitter of course can tell a box from a shotgun

... “Ipcress. Weird eyes. Funny hair.” - Hahaha, so charming, Eliot

...Eliot throwing away that vase so it shatters. Given that the entire box of stuff belongs to Sophie? Just another way to mess with her

...Eliot’s story ending before he opens the box. Different to Sophie whose first version of the tale showed us her holding the dagger (“That was the plan”), Eliot is honest, he just leaves out the important bit. Too bad that Hardison knows what happened next

... “What, is stealing mail a crime?” Parker <3

...”Well, whatever it takes to get the job done, babe.” - WHY, Leverage? WHY is Eliot not calling Sophie “babe” all the time. I want that now. Give it to me.

...I also want Hardison to call Eliot “babe”. Why didn’t I get that either? Unfair

...such a neat way to wrap up Eliot’s side story of Gutman blackmailing him. So perfectly framed - because while watching it for the first time, you’re so hooked on the dagger theft that you don’t notice Nate’s expression and the suspiciously convenient way that got resolved

... Hardison’s villainous cackle and his grin <3

...Parker and the shell-game. Again SO NEAT. Because this is what’s being done to us as viewers here and we SHOULD know how the shell-game works, that Hardison doesn’t end up with the dagger either, that Parker as the one operating the shell game actually has the prize (well, is closest to it)

... Hardison’s accent. Accent porn

... Hardison’s repeated slip-ups (“My nana’s house, err my house”) and his competely over-the-top recollection of his flirting success in that ultra-short montage

... his version of the Eliot/Sophie dance and his grin of approval. Why exactly do you take a photo of that, Hardison??

...Hardison making Sophie sound like one of the dwarves from LotR. Because clearly he COULD do a better job at a British accent. But why should he? Especially since the boyfriend err I mean the partner in crime err Eliot so obviously approves

...Eliot, the maniac, tackling him to the ground, trying to open his throat with a figgin machete (what is a knife that size doing at that party?)

... “Let’s get you somewhere quiet now, where there is no witnesses” continued by Eliot being CREPPY in the basement and Hardison’s ultra-fake smile hahaha

...”I still beat you” - because for Hardison this is what this is about. Beating Eliot. Who are these other people even :)?

... the shell game reveal and Nate is SO PROUD of Parker <333

...Parker’s story is SO not about any of that mood-setting shit or any of the details like... other people in the room. She even interrupts Nate when he asks her for her way in. Because this is about where to stash her gear, and how to get to the prize. Nothing else matters.

...Hardison stealing food and being SO adorably Hardison, Sophie being weird in her Britishness, Coswell being annyoingly “there” in Parker’s story

... SOUND EFFECTS FOR THE HUGE KNIFE. Because Parker’s life clearly is anime.

...the hasty and jagged storytelling. Yes, that is also because we’re hearing the story for the forth time, but it definitely shows how Parker tells a story

... Parker skipping <3

...Parker being honest about losing the dagger

...Nate’s portrayal of the others in his version. Sophie being just that little bit arrogant, Parker being cold, Eliot and his swagger, and all that in contrast to the utter adorableness of Coswell (and Nate being a DICK to him) : All that is very realistic. And then he adds a dash of humour to it: the size of the knife that Parker hands Eliot and Eliot’s WTF reaction to it for instance

... the actor playing Coswell is just awesome. So awesome. I feel for him here, poor guy.

... Nate not being IN his version of the story except for the beginning and the end. Instead his job is to put the pieces together and get the most imporant (and realistic) bits from the others in a straight line

... “Pretty eyes, little ponytail in her hair” - Aw, Nate <3 (And Eliot’s AMUSEMENT in that version of the story. Really, Nate, in your world Eliot is a romantic softie? I am not judging. Actually, I approve. Of that and of “You need a tissue” compassionate Hardison as well)

... Nate being a cold-hearted insurance guy asshole. I mean I don’t love him like that because he is horrible, but I love the contrast of that Nate to Team-Leverage-Nate and what that says about the influence of these four people on him <3

... while Sophie, Parker, and Hardison run out, Eliot hangs back. That moment of silent communication between him and Nate? I LOVE their relationship

SUCH a perfect episode <3

#leverage #nate ford #sophie deveraux #alec hardison #eliot spencer #parker #things I love about #the rashomon job #episode reaction

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adapted-batteries · 7 years ago

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Season 1 Things

So I just finished watching season 1 in the written order, and man was that good. While watching, i decided to write down all my comments and things i noticed for my fourth time watching the season, and I caught some things I didn’t notice before. I’ll do a little thing for each ep under a keep reading to not clog dashes...it’s gonna be long.

“And the Crown of King Arthur”

So I never quite realized how intimidating Eve is when we first meet her. I’ve been writing and reading and watching the Guardian Eve more than that first meeting, so it was cool to see just how much she changed, and how much she’s still the same from that first meeting. She’s good at what she did in NATO because she was adaptable, constantly assessing the situation, playing her teams to their strengths. That’s all evident into the whole season, but it fades (when watching in the right order) as time goes on. Not a bad fade, but more she’s less military, but still smart and on her toes when needed.

Side comment, the first time we see the Library, well it’s impressive. If anyone reading this is caught up on critical role, they just went to Ioun’s realm...I pictured the Library for that for sure.

Back to the episode...the way Flynn reacts to Ezekiel’s name, at first it sounds like he’s saying he’s glad he didn’t come in for the interview because he’s still alive...but then there’s an underlying tension, almost like Flynn’s a bit intimidated that Ezekiel could've been him. Later on Flynn does some stuff that makes this scene potentially mean more stuff, I’ll get to that then.

On Cassandra’s first appearance...she totally up and followed him. Course she had a sucky life and I understand her wanting to drop it at the promise of a better one, but she acted like people do to Flynn when he says they’re librarians...that’s an incantation as confirmed in season 3...so did he use magic on her to prevent any resistance?

The only thing I wrote for Ezekiel’s first appearance is that Flynn can’t handle Ezekiel at all, not really sure what I meant by that, but it’s true.

On Stone’s first appearance...well on the comment “ninjas in Oklahoma” I immediately thought that centennially there probably have been ninjas in Oklahoma...in the form of cosplayers at Tokyo in Tulsa...but hey they weren’t specific. Other things i noticed include Stone saying he went to church, which I assumed cuz it’s Oklahoma, but nice confirm, and brings up the question if he still goes, even if it’s less, depending on how deep his faith actually was; Stone itching to infodump on Lamia’s tattoo is both sad but super cute at the same time...any of them infodumping I love to bits; the fact he couldn’t help himself was what got him in trouble...if he hadn’t ever talked to Lamia I don’t think she’d of found him, that is if her method was going to be wait till someone made sense on her tattoo; Stone has a charger...unrelated-ish but Elliot Spencer of Leverage had a mustang I think; on the drive Eve shuts him down on trying to play it off, and the dread on his face made my chest hurt.

That hurt got erased when I saw that face on Eve before they step off the elevator, she clearly can’t wait to see them nerd out and it’s great cuz I couldn’t either. Once they’re in the Annex/office thing cuz it’s not Jenkins’s annex yet, I was curious why Cassandra knew the flight information, of all the things she could know...was she looking to fly to Europe before she got picked up?

Later on in the forest I love the Fleve bonding, and the henge thing...I wonder if she ever went to pay him a comment and called him henge or key just to toy with him. Also when Stone and Cassandra brought up something about their parents, I was just like “guys parents aren’t supposed to be mean and cold...guys...” and wanted to hug them.

When Judson tells Flynn he wants to move on but can’t, at first I always thought it was because of Flynn...but Judson was totally hanging around for Charlene more than anything, and somehow I never picked up on that. And when Cassandra asks how someone becomes a Librarian, she wasn’t asking to find out out of curiosity...she knew Flynn might die from her selling them out.

Gotta mention the Jazekiel scene that started it all...Ezekiel was not scared one bit...very much turned on...and Stone was so working his way to that aggressively turned on state if the ninjas hadn’t shown up...totally could've been that “shut up/make me” thing for sure.

I noticed when Flynn realized Cassandra sold them out, he wasn’t mad at her at all, he knew she wanted to be healed, and they offered her that, and compared to Stone’s reaction, I never noticed just how graceful Flynn was about it, when he should be the one freaking out. Maybe being stabbed helped him get his priorities in order?

And one last note on this ep, when Flynn and Lamia are fighting for Cal, she says “you’re powerful, more than you could ever know” which has been pointed out before, but honestly I love the growing idea that Flynn is Arthur reincarnated, since Lamia needed the crown to wield Cal, but Flynn didn’t.

“And the Sword in the Stone”

I was curious about why Lamia knew so much about the Library...I suppose Dulaque could have told her, but based on the way he ends up killing her in the end, that’s kind of an odd investment in her. Who knows what there relationship was, I mean she said “I loved you” before she died so that’s confusing...more on that later maybe.

The first meeting of Jenkins was great...he’s basically sort of like Flynn in being alone for who knows how long, so he’s being weird. Also he knew to pick them up, so either he kept tabs on the Library...really good tabs, or Charlene called him. Another point...how did Flynn not know about Jenkins? For being Librarian 10 years, he definitely should’ve known, but he seemed clueless. Did Charlene and Judson not want him to know? Or was Jenkins so good at keeping his distance that he didn’t let himself be known? Never realized how odd that was till now. Also loved how Stone was so enamored with the Annex that it takes him five seconds to realize he dropped Flynn, like that child is in heaven.

Dulaque calls the Librarians in plural, which Flynn takes a lot longer to do, I guess Dulaque saw all their abilities and didn’t think about them being fresh.

Jenkins “Who quite frankly I always liked better” comment about Charlene...who knew two seasons later that line actually meant “because I was in love with her.” Also surprised Jenkins didn’t know about the ley line globe map thing, I guess he prefers hard copies?

Ezekiel works lightning fast...I feel like he doesn’t do that as much later on, not like the jewel stealing he did in the tower of London. Also Stone had no room to be sassy saying “all you do is push people around” to Eve...I like the pun...but if I was Eve I would’ve launched him into that case instead of bumping it...just because I could.

To Buckingham Palace...I can never get over Stone’s wiggles...and then Ezekiel’s face after where he has to look away...totally “oh man no Stone’s not being cute nope.” Also think it’s funny when Stone loosens his tie like he’s gonna fight security...like boy...no...and of course him being a nerd again later on was great too.

On to the secret passage...Stone saying “If you drop, we’ll leave ya and move on” was kind of weird...like if it was sarcastic, Christian didn’t play it like that, and Flynn didn’t get it either. It was weirdly blunt, oddly hostile...maybe it was the champagne talking?

Apparently after this my curiosity was piqued about Lamia, considering all the heavy hitters are immortals (being Dulaque, Jenkins, Morgan le Fay, etc.) so is Lamia someone like that? Or maybe could’ve been?

I loved the fact that Cassandra was ready to kill a dude with that rock, and later on she bashes the house spirit with the chair, and smacks that dude in the power station with a wrench...she’s got an arm on her.

I always thought Flynn offering Cal to Cassandra was noble...but then I realized he’s ready to die because he thinks everything is gone...Cassandra healing him got rid of his way out, which I didn’t notice till now. Also seeing Eve already crying, because she’s been in combat, tells me she’s already falling for Flynn hard. And then the “you already saved me” line from Cassandra always makes me tear up cuz it’s so true.

Jenkins mentions the moon colony...please tell me one day there will be an ep that happens...please...I need it...for Ezekiel to sci-fi nerd out at least.

The whole stipend transfer, plane ticket handing out, felt weirdly like Leverage when they depart from the circle the first time, which is a vibe I didn’t get till I watched Leverage this summer (highly recommend it, hit up netflix). Also I’m curious what would happen if they actually left...it was Jenkins’s car and he was in the Annex though so maybe he would’ve been like “so actually not leaving, get out of my car” idk.

Now we wind down the episode, cue the “I can’t trust ya” thing from Stone (I know he’s got trust issues, but doesn’t mean I don’t wanna slap him every time he says it), and the twice before Friday speech, love that, and grandpa Jenkins getting stuck with the kiddos. Also Eve attempting to intimidate Jenkins is hilarious not for her attempt but the LiTs support of her, including Stone’s look at Cassandra after her “she’ll kick your ass” statement too like he didn’t expect her to be capable of saying ass or something. And finally, I need to use “silly mid-western person” when people around here annoy me...though is Oklahoma mid-west? People put us loads of places...central, south, south central, one even had us south west weirdly...idk man.

“And the Horns of a Dilemma”

I love seeing the LiTs being incompetent fighters because it makes savoring that vampire fight scene in season 3 so much better (and the bonus Cassandra’s got a girlfriend, wins all around).

There’s an x-ray in Jenkins’s lab of someone’s rib cage...I wonder whose it is, and if the Annex has an x-ray machine somewhere. I guess it wouldn’t be weird to have imaging equipment but the medical capabilities of the Library (besides artifacts) never get brought up. Also appreciating the fact that the backdoor doesn’t do that flippy door change thing it did the first time Jenkins turned it on, and that weird bubble/film when they step out...that’d get annoying real quick...whoever did cgi is probably happy too.

I didn’t properly take in “office IT nerd Ezekiel Jones” at all...it’s a gift. Also apparently even after Buckingham Palace, Stone is incapable of business attire...seriously even I know not to wear a flannel and jeans to an office boy.

I wrote the comment “Man I love the punching Eve does”...I don’t know what that’s referencing...cuz she does a lot...but regardless yes I do.

Stone keeps bringing up the whole trust thing...at the point in the maze Cassandra was ready to have a smack down if Ezekiel hadn’t stopped them. I’m really glad Stone got over that trust thing cuz it’s super annoying with him bringing it up a bunch.

According to the trivia thing on Amazon video, a ball of twine, such as the one powering the labyrinth, is called a clue, and is where we get our word clue from when Ariadne gave Theseus the twine to get out of the labyrinth. Learning.

“Multi-dimensional hoo ha” Jenkins has some golden lines this season, it’s great.

Nicolas Flamel is mentioned...curiously does harry potter exist in this universe? I mean magic isn’t an issue I guess, could be plausible.

“Back off, I’m doing math” is a great line from Cassandra.

Okay so the Minotaur goes for the people who imprisoned it once the labyrinth fizzles out...does that mean there is now a Minotaur running around Boston?

Stone’s accent always gets thicker when he talks about anything relating to Oklahoma which is amazing. Unironically now that I think about it, I think I do that too, and when talking with people who have a thicker accent, though I don’t know if that’s me imitating them (which I do a lot) or they’re just bringing it out more. Also, that nervous running his hand through his hair when Ezekiel points out Stone basically just got beat up compared to Cassandra and Ezekiel...man I love scenes that play on Jazekiel.

“And the Fables of Doom”

Now in the aired order, “And Santa’s Midnight Run” is next...but in written order...it’s two episodes away from here. Watching it, the behavior and attitudes of them all are much more coherent with them in “And the Horns of a Dilemma.” Thus, Cassandra’s attempt to work with Eve not Stone makes a lot more sense. It also makes Stone’s re-bringing up the trust thing before the mayor runs in naked even more annoying, but the decline in his bringing it up as the season goes on fits soooo much better in the written order, a normal decline, not randomly bringing it up after nothing for two episodes.

The roles each of them take are great. I love the gradual changing each does, but I especially noticed Cassandra’s change this time. At first, with the girl playing Little Red Riding Hood, Cassandra is freaked out and denies getting the girl’s number, and Stone has no clue what’s going on either. Later on, in the bar, Cassandra’s still feeling weird, but is slowly enjoying it, and eventually she’s freely getting free drinks and food from them and marching around. I like to think this episode might be Cassandra’s “oh hey, I’m not straight” realization, of course I could be just projecting the change into prince charming on her. Either way, Cassandra is completely okay with being in that role by the end, she even says “I didn’t mind all those girls buying me drinks” so it’s at least the start of confirming she’s not straight anyway.

Random Stone side note, he knows how to gut the wolf based off him being the huntsman as he says “it feels right” when he’s slicing it open. In reality, being from podunk Oklahoma he’d know how to gut stuff most likely, unless he was a rare non-hunter. Even I know how to clean an animal...arguably more from science class dissections than anything, but even as a boy he’d be hacking away at road kill or something disgusting anyway.

Ezekiel side note...him and kids is my jam...that’s all I wrote, but it’s true. Also the change in expression on his face when Baird’s like “you gotta save everyone” made me think of him in “And the Point of Salvation”...you can see the weight of the situation on him...enough of that for now. And question, but if Ezekiel didn’t change in this ep (nor in “And the Apple of Discord”) brings up the question of Ezekiel being a trickster demigod...which would come with other benefits later on too in season 3.

I always lose it when the sheriff is on the floor eating jello...just they way he’s miserable and confused, the legs out, the obscene amount of jello containers, I always laugh so hard at that scene.

Towards the end...there’s the smirk Stone gives at Ezekiel as he pushes him away...he was totally proud of Ezekiel for both saving the day, and not being snarky at the sheriff.

“And the Heart of Darkness”

In air order, this episode happens after “And the Apple of Discord” which would give a weird read into Cassandra being sort of over protected by Eve like their experience with Evil Cass affected it, but in written order that’s not there at all, it’s mostly Eve delegating her people as she saw best. That being said, I see both sides, and I think Eve having Cassandra be with Katie gave Cassandra both a learning lesson about herself, but also helped her kill Katie in the end. (stuff I touched on in my week 7 shipathon post)

when Eve, Stone, and Ezekiel go upstairs, stone startles everyone by accidentally kicking a broken chair on the floor...based on the startle, I kind of wonder if Christian was supposed to do that, or it just happened and they kept it in. Either way it’s great for that tense scene. Also I like to think that the musician in him made him play the creepy piano...in my experience we (as a musician) tend to do that regardless of if it’s appropriate or not.

Only on this watch did I realize the house was both the Shatterbox and the House of Refuge...because the Shatterbox showed up when Katie’s family got the house.

“We are not a team. You’re the Librarians and I’m the Guardian” Eve says to mainly Cassandra. It’s a weird contrast to the “In the Horns of a Dilemma” when Stone’s like “maybe the term you’re looking for is ‘partners’” which Eve, at the time, seemed to be like “yeah, that works.” I’m not sure if Eve was attempting to say she still had authority, but I think she was trying to say that while they weren’t in a hierarchy, she still knew more in a tactical sense then all three combined and thus should listen to her.

Later on we have Cassandra smacking the house spirit with a chair, which honestly the impact she had suggests she’s got an arm...I love seeing Cassandra take people out.

When Katie loses her story and starts trying to piece her memories together, she says they could make it to Texarkana, but then says they’re in Nevada. I don’t know if those lines were meant to be together in the same sentence, because even from Las Vegas, Texarkana, Texas (the only Texarkana I know of) is 20 hours away, something you can’t do in a night. Just me picking out weird geography things.

Curious if Eve got to be in the dollhouse till they ended up back in the living room...and how they got back there since it just jumps from Cassandra in the room to the rest of them being back.

Also Cassandra had a steady hand on that gun, especially shooting one handed...further confirmation Cassandra is a force to be reckoned with in many ways? And that bit where she talks about the tumor, it being a death sentence in her head she saw every day, man that scene always hits me hard because Cassandra doesn’t act like it bothers her much, but you get that outburst of raw emotion, the real thing in her.

Before they leave Ezekiel says “I’ve never asked for anything in my life,” so if that’s true...does that mean Ezekiel learned asking got him nothing and thus he quit asking and went to taking???? Or am I reading too much into it...

And that closing scene...how does Cassandra listen to that song? Like not only is it annoying, but it’s creepy af...

“And Santa’s Midnight Run”

Okay real life question...how’d the guy get a shotgun...in London...I mean they have working gun laws over there, considering the last two major terrorist attacks had no guns involved.

Also I need more Christmas in the Annex. Cassandra being happy is too cute, and I think everyone enjoys seeing her happy for sure. I want to know what Stone was wrapping though that he didn’t want Ezekiel touching...did he buy people gifts??? Or were they for family?

“Oh shiny balls yes” Jenkins oh man you got the best words. Also the blooper scene involved on him finding a good expletive is hilarious too. And Jenkins is on a first name basis with Mrs. Claus...and her name is Gretchen...interesting...

Okay so when Cassandra asks him what language he doesn’t know, Stone replies with his Urdu being rusty...so there’s no way Stone doesn’t know Spanish...so why did he act like he didn’t know much in the plane in Venezuela??? Even if he wasn’t super experienced, no doubt he studied it in high school because that’s the biggest one in Oklahoma schools to learn, and he picks up stuff like nothing, so he’d at least have that.

Jenkins’s face when they mention Dulaque...right then and there Jenkins was determined to kill him before Santa got it...which I guess in the end, Jenkins at least got to fight him till he winked out of existence somewhere.

“Architecture is just art we live in” preach it Stone you nerd. Also when Santa says he knows both incarnations of Stone, that face is reminiscent of when Eve first shut him down back in Oklahoma.

Ezekiel obviously isn’t in the good book that year...but when we get a Christmas ep in season 4, can Santa say he’s now in the good book??? Can Santa say that so I can bawl at the tv for Ezekiel Jones? Also Christmas!Ezekiel...love it, even if he’s suffering through it. And Jenkins has a frilly apron...it looked like a quality apron.

The whole Nick/Santa and Eve bit is great...you can tell once Nick knows he can use the ho banter to cheer her up, he keeps doing it to help lighten her mood. Gotta love Santa.

The map effect showing their traveling so reminded me of Indiana Jones.

The concept of Dulaque and Lamia riding for who knows how long in Santa’s sleigh, cramped, is a hilarious thing. Dulaque mentions Morgan le Fay...I’m curious what he thinks of her since we only learn Jenkins’s opinion. Also Christmas!Dulaque...that voice inflection, it’s great.

Eve trying to fly the crashing plane makes me weirdly thankful for the years I spent as a kid playing Microsoft Flight Simulator...at least I could theoretically land a plane??? Those goodwill returning scenes are so impactful man.

Jenkins slipped up when talking about Dulaque, I mean we all know now he was a knight but that’s the first hint into Jenkins’s past.

The kiddos giving mom a birthday, yesss. Baird finally got a family and made a huge difference on Christmas, the thing she’d been wanting for years, it makes my heart melt.

“And the Apple of Discord”

They kind of get pissed at Ezekiel ordering pizza...but considering they were all hard at work and all strike me as the ones to get hyper-focused and forget food, Ezekiel was sort of doing them a favor, so in reality he was actually being nice.

Also, how does Flynn open the door from wherever he was? Jenkins doesn’t seem alarmed, but he makes no motion to stop any of them either, so he didn’t set the door...also Cassandra ready to clock the intruder with a book, she’s great.

Jenkins had a hip hop phase??

Eve kept trying to look over the cabinet as Flynn changed...I saw that getting on your tip toes...

When Stone helps Cassandra anchor back to her memory he seems surprised she figured it out...I’m not sure why since according to Eve they’d been working on it.

On to everyone getting the Apple...I love the fact that Stone just becomes Angry Art Historian, Cassandra becomes quite scary, and Eve and Flynn just become horny basically...of course Flynn’s knowledge would make him scary too, but only Cassandra shows she’s an immediate threat in several ways. Also poor Lamia who is so dang confused and in pain...she deserves better...also wish she hadn’t died in the finale...more on that later. Also why does Stone look at her like that like come on Stone keep it in your pants.

Apparently when Dulaque showed up in the Annex I wrote “Dulaque, in my Annex? It’s more likely than you think, Jenkins.”

Ezekiel hitting Jenkins’s cowardice on the head is a great scene, I also like the fact that Ezekiel isn’t running, he’s committed to sticking to it...which is very much character growth from episode 1 for sure.

I wanna know if it took Noah several takes to say “Daddy’s home” while chasing the librarians out of main room...like that whole scene cracks me up. Also his recovery too “pathetic excuses...for bad....because you’re all great.”

Also theory that Jenkins saw Ezekiel with Santa’s hat and was his “best” so he knew that Ezekiel wouldn’t be different and let him go get the apple from Flynn.

Man any time the history is brought up I have questions...I want to know what happened to Merlin, what exactly was the Fall of Camelot, were there other knights that went immortal like Dulaque and Jenkins...

Also Flynn giving Eve the transfer papers is so him asking her to be his girlfriend cuz he was totally a dork when he went about it and he’d totally see it as such.

“And the City of Light”

I wanna know how the other LiTs and Eve didn’t realize Ezekiel was a sci-fi nerd...like he literally went on about the house being a transporter or a tardis...things normal people wouldn’t reference...come on guys.

Also Cassandra’s face when Stone was flirting with Mable was me. Also cue Stone’s accent getting thicker when he’s mimicking people in his hometown.

I want to know why Stone felt the need to break into the archives...like she was more than willing to show him around, it was really necessary. Also when she’s showing him the Paris stuff I wrote down “When you like history so much you fall for a sort of immortal person.” And then after when the plan gets set, you can here the “I’m gonna lose her” in his voice I wanted to reach through and hug him so bad.

When Stone and Mabel talk about why they didn’t leave their hometowns, he kind of lies to her, considering the real reason he didn’t leave was because no one knew why he wanted to, and that then led to him sticking around and taking care of the business and being like the people around him, because he was hiding in that small town mentality. I do like it when he address it though.

When Mable dies...all I wrote was “don’t make me cry Stone.”

That episode always leaves me torn, because I feel Ezekiel’s anger, but ultimately I side with Cassandra, 87 for several thousand is too much of a risk. At least Jenkins can go try it again in a hundred years.

“And the Rule of Three”

Having this episode lead into the season finale makes the whole Morgan Le Fay interaction much more dramatic...like it’s bad if she’s booking it out of there.

I wanna know why Eve’s surprised by mainly Cassandra’s excitement...like you work with a bunch of nerds...how did you not see this coming? Also Cassandra nerding out is the cutest man ugh....

Having made a paper mache volcano for school before...I’m glad it didn’t actually turn into lava.

The whole stage set interrogation scene is great...watching Stone be amused and then be like “Nope no one looks at my Guardian’s ass except Flynn” at the end.

Jenkins being a science nerd is adorable.

With the actress who played Amy coming back, I can’t wait to see how her season 4 appearance is gonna be, cuz she’s my age now, which means either in college...ooor she found Lucy and they’ve been running around finding magic or something great idk that’s what I need at least.

Also having this episode right after “And the City of Light” makes Stone quoting Lord Byron like a sap hurt so much, because it’s definitely fueled from Mable and not random quoting agh my heart.

Amy said the app felt greasy in her head...so is Morgan’s magic black magic? That’s me going off of Jim Butcher’s black magic feeling nasty and greasy.

Morgan calls Jenkins Galeas, and then later Dulaque calls him Galahad...so is his name Galeas Galahad? or is Galeas what Galahad came from?

Also when Stone realizes who’s in front of him (that being Morgan Le Fey) he’s got a kind of in awe look on his face...and then there’s Ezekiel super blatantly admiring her like boys come on...you got a knight with you chill out.

I always wondered where Morgan Le Fey went, and if she’ll come back now the world’s not falling apart.

Ezekiel getting the trophy for Cassandra about made me cry gosh dang it he cares and wants her to be happy aaggghhh. Also i didn’t realize he coined the term “mathemagics” I always thought Cassandra had.

I don’t like Jenkins being mad at Eve...he could’ve dealt with Morgan but he didn’t, he for some reason put that all on Eve and by now he definitely should’ve known she’d save the kids. And yes while Morgan is a threat, she was also going away, so in the end she’s still gone, and those kids are alive.

“And the Loom of Fate”

I didn’t realize Eve’s looking at her bloody fingers was a vision...I always thought it was a “Start with a later scene then go to back for a bit.”

Okay the Fleve going on...they’ve been sexting...yup.

Also Ezekiel being prepared with a handkerchief for Cassandra, love him being caring. And did she do too much math and have a vision like Eve that we just didn’t see? Who knows.

Oookkkaayy who decided they bring in the sarcophagus without opening it? Also Dulaque just totally Trojan horse-ed them...

While someone needed to die to get to the loom, I wish Lamia hadn’t died here. She’s an interesting character, especially when we see her in the other reality as a Guardian too. Also she says “I loved you”...why? what was the context of that? I want mooorreee.

Now on to Librarian alternate universes...Stone is...well...yeah great...and even more nerdy Flynn is obnoxious but I do like that we start seeing him change as he goes on...question though...does that mean Stone has feelings, or at least had the potential to form them for Eve? I always figured he saw Flynn “take” Eve and thus that’s why it never happened.

Mad Scientist Ezekiel is fun, and their world ended up alright which is nice. The reinforcing that Eve was a mom to him is great. It honestly kind of gives me “And the Point of Salvation” vibes in terms of Ezekiel not giving up, being less jokey and battle hardened.

Sorceress Cassandra is by far the most intense world. Also definitely Cassamia going on for sure...and could the “No, not like that” Cassandra responds with to Eve’s question of “don’t tell me I was like a mom” kind of sounds like maybe Ceve was a thing too?? Also she mentioned the healing magic permanently altered her brain...I wonder if it was like her enhanced gift or waayy souped up version of it. I’m also curious what happened to Jenkins in her timeline.

Cassandra pointing out nerd Flynn’s care for Eve just shows how fast he fell for her in Eve’s universe.

Somehow I didn’t realize that Rebecca Romjin’s husband played young Dulaque...it really works.

I really hope after Eve almost dying they learned to keep the healing stuff near the backdoor...like no running through the Library to find stuff like that please.

When Flynn gives Ezekiel his pocket clippings book, he looks at him really...intensely? and weirdly giggles....what’s up with that? Ezekiel’s confused too. And then later when Stone’s like “It’s a pity book” Ezekiel looks like he’s actually contemplating that fact...guys don’t mess up my boy please.

I love the fact that instead of saying fate and history were messed up or whatever...Jenkins is like “waa-waa-waa” like it is an accurate description...but that noise I can’t not crack up laughing when he does it.

Flynn is so awkward...being wordy to get to asking her on a date...honestly it’s great to know that every time I write Flynn being like that...it’s very true to character for sure. Also Flynn...work dates are not dates buddy...

Well there you have it, my experience watching season 1 for the fourth time, in the right order this time. Feel free to message me on anything related to it, and once I finish season 2 again, something similar to this will come out as well.

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alocalband · 8 years ago

Text

Fixing things around the Haus was never really about the dibs for Dex. But, all the same, in the back of his mind he was still relying on his efforts in that department to secure him housing for his junior year at Samwell.

Which is why he’s a little surprised at himself for the sinking feeling in his gut when he’s officially offered a spot.

“Oh,” he replies dumbly.

Lardo blinks at him, clearly startled by his lack of enthusiasm, her hand still held out between them waiting for him to reach out and seal the deal.

Dex shakes his head and reaches his own hand out belatedly. Only to have Lardo pull back. “Bro. I’m not gonna give it to you if you don’t really want it.”

“No, no, I do! I promise I do. I’m sorry, I just thought...”

He thought that he’d be getting either Ransom or Holster’s dibs. And that Nursey would be getting the other’s. And, despite the fact that Dex has been dreading the very idea of that for the entire school year, he feels off kilter and lost now trying to imagine a scenario in which he lives at the Haus without Nursey constantly underfoot.

Even these past two years of living in the dorms, Nursey still always somehow manages to end up at the Haus whenever Dex does, stealing the last slice of pie while verbally needling at sore spots he knows well enough will get a rise out of his fellow D-man.

It seemed pointless to even hope that getting dibs wouldn’t somehow include Nursey at his side, and so Dex never bothered to factor in the possibility. He resigned himself to his fate. And now, presented with an alternative, he has no idea what to think.

“Do you, uh,” he clears his throat, watching Lardo’s eyes narrow at him, assessing. “Do you know who Rans and Holster are giving theirs to?”

“They’re giving them to Nursey, bro.”

“Right. But to Nursey and...?”

“Just Nursey.” She shrugs. “Those bunkbeds don’t even have a ladder anymore, so we figured we’d turn the attic back into a single for now. And we thought we’d do you all a solid by making sure the SMH didn’t lose it’s next best D-man pair due to mutual homicide within the first week of preseason by making you shack up together. We’ve all seen how you two handle sharing a hotel room on roadies.”

To be fair, how they handle it nowadays is wildly different from the roughhousing mess of their first semester at Samwell. But apparently no one’s noticed that.

Dex goes abruptly still as a thought occurs to him that feels like a bucket of ice water over his head. “Wait. Was this Nurse’s idea?”

Lardo frowns and opens her mouth to answer-- just as the front door bursts open and in storms the man in question, glaring daggers at whoever happens to be in his line of sight and looking decidedly un-chill. “Was this Poindexter’s idea?”

A strangled laugh escapes Lardo, half amusement and half surprise, and then she raises both hands in the air like she’s very much ready to shuffle backwards all the way into the kitchen and nope out of this entire conversation.

Nursey doesn’t seem to notice her reaction. He just keeps barreling forward once his steely gaze lands on Dex. “Really, dude? You can’t stand me that much, huh? Is this why you were always fixing shit? Because you wanted the leverage to get your own room and get away from me?”

Dex huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. Because, despite whatever hesitations he’d been feeling mere seconds ago, Nursey just has that kind of effect on him. “I was ‘always fixing shit’ because shit always keeps breaking.”

“Oh, so the getting away from me was just an added bonus?”

“What are you even talking about right now, Nurse, you get the entire attic to yourself. It’s practically like having your own place. I’m betting the groupies you bang are gonna love it.”

“What? I don’t-- They aren’t--” Nursey makes a sound that’s almost a growl, runs both hands quickly back and forth over his untamable curls, and then shakes his head like he’s shaking off whatever thought process got him here. “Screw you, Will,” he says evenly, his expression suddenly as guarded and blank as Dex has ever seen it. Which is saying something. “I’m done.”

And with that, he turns right back around and exits the way he came, at a brisk and steady pace.

Dex stares after him for all of thirty seconds before Lardo punches him in the arm, hard, and raises her eyebrows at him like he’s the biggest idiot she’s ever let grace her presence. “Dude, are you gonna go after him or what?”

“...Or what?” Dex tries, but he knows that’s wrong as soon as he says it. He knows it for certain when Lardo cuffs him upside the back of his head. “Jesus! Fine! I’m going after him!”

By the time he catches up to Nursey they’re nearing the pond. The sunlight is mottled through the leaves on the trees, and there are storm clouds in the distance. Storm clouds that might as well already be here for the stormy expression on Nursey’s face when he finally pauses and turns around.

Dex never wanted this.

He wanted security and routine and never having to question the nature of his relationship with his defense partner. He wanted a place in the Haus and a place alongside Derek Nurse, without ever saying out loud that he did. Without ever admitting to anyone, especially himself, any of the things that he really wants.

Poindexters don’t want things. They need things and they work for them. Anything more than that is frivolous and embarrassing.

“It wasn’t my idea,” Dex says, only slightly winded from the short jog here. But his chest feels tight anyway, for a number of other reasons that he doesn’t know how to deal with.

Nursey scowls. “I don’t want your fucking pity.”

“Derek. Have I ever lied to you before? It wasn’t my idea. Hell, I thought it was yours.”

The scowl on Nursey’s face twists into something less bitter but still miles away from okay. It takes Dex a second before he recognizes it as that rare, self-deprecating look Nursey only sports during his most vulnerable and defensive moments. “Right. Of course. Because leave it to me to have fucked this up so badly you think I’m trying to get rid of you. Got it. Whatever. My bad, bro.”

Dex is this close to taking the bait and throwing something insensitive back at Nursey, but he catches himself at the last possible second, his mouth still hanging slightly open, ready to argue.

He licks his lips and swallows. He tries again.

“Fucked what up, Nursey?” he asks quietly.

Nursey looks up and away, towards the canopy of leaves overhead, and he stuffs his hands into his pockets so hard Dex worries over how well the lining will hold up.

“Us,” he says with a forced shrug.

And, just like that, they are an “us.” Just like that, it is suddenly very obvious that they have been an “us” for awhile now.

The realization hits Dex all at once and with enough force to send him stumbling back a half a step. Because the truth is that he and Nursey are on exact the same page about each other after all, and they’ve been refusing to acknowledge it out loud for exactly the same reason. This thing that’s been building between them is too important to fuck up. But it has been building.

On the ice this year they’ve been as in sync as Ransom and Holster at their best. Hanging out in the Haus with their teammates, they’ve played off each other without even thinking about it, like two halves of a disgruntled and slightly dysfunctional whole. Whether it’s studying with Chowder at the library or kicking at each other’s shins beneath the table at team breakfasts, they’ve been pairing themselves off together in an entirely natural and yet entirely intentional way.

“Look, whatever,” Nursey continues. “I know you don’t swing that way; it’s not like I was expecting this to ever actually... For you to ever feel exactly the same way. It’s chill. But I thought we were at least, like, friends now. You and me against the world, got your back before anyone else’s, all that shit. I just-- I thought--”

“I don’t want to share the attic with you,” Dex blurts, which is, of course, the last thing he should have said, even though it’s suddenly become very true.

Nursey’s expression crumples for an instant, and then hardens so fast that it must be instinctive. Or else, as Dex has started to discover, so desperately learned in his youth that it can now pass as natural. “Right. Aces. Yeah, I’ll just...” he motions over his shoulder at the path that leads away from Dex, away from the Haus, and Dex cannot have that become a reality.

“You didn’t fuck anything up,” Dex says in a rush, catching Nursey’s wrist in a loose grip. “And I hope I didn’t either. I did want to share the attic with you before, but that’s because I-- I didn’t realize that doing other things with you was on the table? And if I kiss you right now and it completely backfires, living together is gonna be pretty fucking awkward.”

“Wait. What? You-- Wait. What?” Nursey gapes a little and blinks his saucer-wide eyes, and then just stares at Dex, frozen, for one, long, heart-stopping moment.

And then a slow grin spreads across his face, nothing about it manufactured or forced. The sudden, unadulterated joy in Nursey’s eyes is blinding, and Dex can feel his cheeks go hot with a responding blush at being the cause of it.

“Well alright then, Poindexter. Get on with it.” Nursey angles his grin into a smirk, though there’s still too much happiness behind it for his words to sound like the taunting he’s going for. “Kiss me already if you’re gonna do it.”

Dex takes a step closer. Hesitates. “...Don’t hit me for this.”

“I’m a pacifist.”

“You’re a hypocrite.”

Nursey rolls his eyes, but his smile remains unwavering. “Just kiss me, Will. And then go back to the Haus and shake Lardo’s hand. This isn’t going to backfire on you, but moving in together would probably be skipping a couple of steps if we’re gonna start dating.”

Dex, feeling somewhat dazed and also somewhat like he’s more aware of himself and his place in the world than he has been in a long time, reaches a hand out to cup Nursey’s jaw. The hairs of Nursey’s growing beard tickle his palm, and then scrape against it a little rougher as Nursey leans his head to the side and nuzzles into the gesture.

“You sure about this?” Nursey asks softly, his voice nearly drowned out by the rustling of leaves in the steadily increasing wind. A couple of rain clouds have finally started to make their way over, and in the back of his mind Dex thinks: good. The drought this spring has gone on for far too long.

“Yes,” Dex answers easily. The truth is the easy part now. The actions that the truth requires are a little bit harder. “But I’ve never... I mean, it can’t be all that different from kissing a girl, right? I’ve just never...”

Nursey’s expression softens. “We don’t have to do this now. I’m not trying to expose you out in the open like this.”

Dex glances around at all the students walking the paths between classes, and the students still milling around the pond despite the scattered rain drops that have started to fall. And maybe a few months ago he would’ve cared. Ducked his head and pulled his hand away from Nursey’s cheek; shuffled his feet and started breathing a little quicker.

Right now all he cares about is Nursey.

Poindexters don’t want things. They need them, and they work for them.

“I’m good if you’re good,” Dex says.

Nursey nods once, his lips brushing against Dex’s thumb as he does. “I’m good if you’re good,” he repeats, and sounds like he means it.

So Dex kisses him.

The rain starts to fall heavily mere seconds later, like it was just waiting for them. But they don’t stop, or flinch, or shuffle their way over to a dryer location.

Nursey’s hands grip Dex’s hips, drawing him close, and his thumbs dig into the bare skin they find just beneath Dex’s shirt. Dex runs his fingers through the shorter curls at the back of Nursey’s head, and he marvels at the fact that the mechanics of kissing really don’t change based on gender, and yet somehow this is still on a completely different level from every other kiss he’s experienced. Though maybe that has less to do with Nursey being a guy and more to do with the fact that he’s Nursey.

“Please don’t be my roommate next year,” Dex breathes against Nursey’s slick and swollen lips as he pulls ever so slightly back. The rain slides down both of their cheeks and foreheads and noses, as much a relief from Dex’s hot blush as a general nuisance.

“Then what can I be?”

“Everything else,” Dex whispers, and kisses him again.

#omgcp #check please #nurseydex #derek nurse #william poindexter #fanfic

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travellers-survivor-old-west · 5 years ago

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Episode 7: “The coin flip gods decided Xander would be leaving us tonight”- Chloe

Everyone drop your..................... spare change we have a decision to make - Someone on the losing tribe, probably.

jeezzzzzz this round is fucking frustrating. so last minute last round my alliance flipped to keaton which was WONDERFUL!!! I was having a hard time talking to him and I'm glad it's Vi and Xander still here. the concering thing tho is someone told vi to do keaton so like.....someone tryna scoop up that good good number huh? this auction though....FUCK THIS. so it started off fine. nobody snatched the first thing bc it was useless. but then the second item hehe I grabbed it bc I wanted to throw to keep ashley safe + wanted to know what it was. so i was like ok cool love it. but then for some reason another item got posted after the time the post said the challenge would be running.....which was not fair flkjfl and i didnt see it cause i was like cool i can sleep now :) and then it's the fuckin most powerful thing in the game :)))) love that for me lol. and someone on that tribe fucked it up. i literally would've fuckin spent all the money for it if I'd known the auction was gonna go past the time the hosts said rip so that threw a wrench in everything and now i am a sad sad cowboy :'( next day i snatched the first item to end the auction so that the power hungry snakes in my alliance didnt get all the good stuff. so even tho i got nothing of value, i DID get assurance that only one thing is out there that I need to be worried about. :))) hehe :))) and it was REALLY EASY to play off like xander took them both tbh. he was typing in the chat the whole time lmao. the only problem is that chloe eve and isaac are actually smart and they might know it was me but like i rlly put in that fake nancy drew work and was like HELLO DID U BUY THOSE THINGS ? I even asked xander if he got either of the items hehe. im just sittin here with my two lame-ass packages <333333 but i have a really bad feeling about the other tribe. Ashley was on a work trip all week and I know her and her fuckery and her inability to talk to boring men and her tribe has way way too many of them. jared/sammy have the power on that tribe if they scoop dylan and goat nick or bro down with aidan. so it's bad news I think. I'm gonna be pissed at them if they get her out (and i swear to god if jared is doing it just to break up me and her so I'm closer to him he has another thing coming!!!!!!!!! :) ) i wanted to be loyal to jared and ashley, but if he gets her out before I even have a chance to play with her, im gonna be fuckin bitter!!!!!!!! and who knows what I'll do then :)

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Well rip us again. I’m slightly screwed? Maybe. I did get 2nd highest score so hopefully the others keep that in consideration considering Owen, Xander and eve got lower than 50 points. I’m pissed Bc Chloe and I both tried hard to carry the team. We were 200 points under. That’s more than either one of us got. Every one else didnt do an entire section. One of them only did a couple pictures, another only did a couple videos. Rip I want to die.

BIIIIITCH. Shit has hit the fan and I finally feel like we're playing a game here. Last tribal was intense but it brought back that feeling as to why I play these things so I was kind of into it. Overall the scrambling in the last few hours showed a lot of people's hand and I think that was one valuable thing that came out of the last vote out (in addition to Sammy's vote out). Apparently the alleged vote was Ashley, which Jared told me rather late, and I didn't feel clued in on that AND I was a fan of Ashley. She was one of the only people here from my second tribe and she talked to me more than a majority of the tribe making me realize that the Malakoff OGs might have formed a voting block - Pat might possibly be involved. Apparently it was a push on behalf of Pat but I did use my vote steal and try to push things in order to save Ashley and push it onto another target. She really wanted Jared but I do feel like I have a stronger relationship with him and the ability to reconcile things further which is why I tried to deviate the target to Sammy. Plus in all of the ambiguity and the fact that my name was going around (as Ashley as a decoy to save herself *insert eye roll*) I felt the need to use the vote steal I secured on the rails. Regardless of how things played out at the end of the day I had no idea what the chaotic twink [Dylan] was going to do and in the event of a 3-3-1 tie I doubt Jared was saving me over Sammy. Weren't they butt buddies in a Tumblr Survivor or something? Like it just wasn't realistic... and I don't feel like I leveraged it poorly at all. Better than going home with something in my pocket like last time. Plus the studio art major's reaction in their exit interview only helped prove my point that they were the best person to go. Plus I felt as if the studio art major in question has the type of fun but lowkey personality that allows people to go deep and as such an extroverted loud ass bitch those players tend to be the ones on my radar. We worked hard, we persevered and won immunity. Pat worked his ass off in the fucking challenge because he knew he made a fucking mistake writing my name down but he's trying to be cordial. Honestly I think a lot of people are biding their time until merge and I have a sneaking suspicion I might be a person of interest when this merge comes. WHY? Well that challenge was CLEARLY thrown and the people who seemed to be left out of the loop were the ones from my original tribe. I'm pretty sure that's a fucking act of war in Ancient Greece. Nick (my number one ally atm I love you Nick) pointed that shit out immediately and made me run to check the results which left me shook. I tried to bring it up to Jared who played it off... another kind of red flag. My priority right now is to strengthen relationships heading into a potential merge and making sure they're on good footing with me even though the last thing that's happening is a loyal Malakoff 3.0. I'm not even going to delude myself with the fucking thought. Despite having Nick and I guess Ashley, I do feel very alone in this game. Most games I succeed in I have a partner in crime so I'm going to adapt and see how I can take on the merge. I really want Nick to know I trust him as much as I do and I hope that whoever survives of Chloe and Vi is excited to see us. That's if the merge is next and you're not playing with us... But I also hope that both Chloe and Vi survive this round but the break up of the challenge doesn't look good. Is there a chance they just fucking suck?

Being back at tribal is fucking hell. At this point just give us merge I stg id be more likely to be immune then. Honestly it feels like most of my tribe put ZERO FUCKING EFFORT into this challenge and I’m beyond angry about it they’re all fucking bastards and I’ll vote every single one of them out for doing this to me.

Thoughts on being at tribal - the coin flippers are staying strong and yet again we flipped a coin to see who goes home between Vi and Xander. This time there’s no Keaton to fuck things around so I’m hoping it stays this straight forward and there’s no genuine last minute scrambles. I don’t think anyone from the group has told Vi or Xander yet who the vote is but the coin flip gods decided Xander would be leaving us tonight. I just wanna fucking sleep. So yea no valid reason for voting Xander tonight other than it was down to a coin flip. Either way I’d be voting Xander and Vi out at merge anyway.

M E R G E U S

I’m stupid and forgot to do this so I’m doing it from the bathroom at work pls don’t strike me I’ll give you detail when I get off sjhdjddh

Spoiler Alert: He never did send us details when he got off work.....

Hey, this tribe fucking sucks. they never talk about anything or want to do much. Like i had to beg people to do the call. and force that to happen. and I had to force a vote talk out of people.... Thats not my style of gameplay. I hate that im forced to do that. and just want out of this tribe ASAP. IM just hoping if i do survive and make it to merge. that my clever "talking" skills have earned me some credit in this tribe. where I have some allies. I do want to make it far and not just flop in this game. Especially when no one really knows me here and they can't target me because im in a duo with someone on the cast. @every other game i play. *glares at jess*

Also Xander...

Part 2 electric boogaloo I really just want Alyssa to expose me. Like is that so hard. Also i forgot to mention in my last confessional that Jess had a booty call and they left their top there.

IS IT MY TIME TO GO??????

Last round was pretty wild. I really did NOT want Sammy to go but unfortunately my hands were tied and he was with jared and pat. I kind of pushed for jared last round a little too much and Aidans ass told jared and he confronted me about it. I think i did a pretty good job at explaining why and basically it was like we both kind of went for eachother last round but now no one will think we are working together. My hope is that aidan and nick will be loyal and continue to work with me but i have a feeling jared is stilll trying to work on aidan and aidans ass is falling for it. Merge is probably coming up and im a little scared about that but if nick and aidan dont flop I think we can make it far.

So last round I played like peepee poopoo I should've just listened to Sammy like I told myself I would at the beginning of the round and voted Aidan... but the second I detect any shadiness even in a F2 or F3 person that's when the meltdown comes... it was like the Bryce situation all over again Not to mention Aidan two-timed me! But luckily it is still early enough in the game to recover from this, and I still have the high noon... I just need to hang onto that no matter what. So this round I centered back in on my round one gameplan, Aidan lost my trust and Dylan earned his 3rd strike with me by not having my back in the tribe chat. I've been bonding with NickG, and I made a deal with Ashley so I'm hoping that new doors will open for me on this tribe. With that being said, we won the challenge and honestly I couldn't care less about a merge any more, the farther away it is the better to be honest- I can have a 50/50 shot at making it one round further every time with tribal immunity. Another note, non-zero odds that Owen threw the challenge for me? We'll see.

Idk what day exactly the video title is specific of when I’m speaking from.

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More Pat....

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#yeehaw

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douchebagbrainwaves · 5 years ago

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WHAT WE LOOK FOR FOUNDERS

Corporate Development, aka corp dev, that's why, whether you could accumulate a fortune was to steal it. How were they to know that Netscape would turn out to be another intellectual hangover of long forgotten origins. So look for simple things that other people have overlooked—things people will later claim were obvious—especially when they've been led astray by obsolete conventions, or by redesigning the product in the way a turnaround specialist does, by cutting costs; he had to decide what Apple's next products should be. A few years before, there was no point in making anything else return a value, because there are a lot of wealth without being paid for it. As well as being more comfortable working on established lines, insiders generally have a vested interest in perpetuating them. Few dissertations are read with pleasure, especially by their authors. It's quite different from college. The initial reaction to Y Combinator was almost identical. If someone with a problem that needs solving and you can solve that problem, by showing everyone what, till now, only a handful people got to see: what happens in one is very similar to the venture-backed trading voyages of the Middle Ages. It might be true that increased variation in income would be bad. Wealth is stuff we want: food, clothes, houses, cars, gadgets, travel to interesting places, and so is Yahoo, which filed a patent suit against a gaming startup called Xfire in 2005.

Like guerillas, startups prefer the difficult terrain of the mountains, where the troops of the central government can't follow. You don't get a patent for nothing. Founders at Work. And yet the more successful people become, the more that matters, because most people were stupid. That kind of switch often takes people by surprise. And that is the most economical route to the sea. I find I conclude with a few vague questions and then drift off to the errands they have to understand what kind of x you've built.

Above all, make a habit of asking questions, especially questions beginning with Why. Dynamic typing. The rich people I know drive the same cars, wear the same clothes, have the same kind of office or rather, hacker opinion. The term macro does not mean in Lisp what it means in other languages, of course, but the thousand little things the big company will get wrong if they try. Just imagine what a company would be like, because that's where this idea seems to live. The informal delivery mechanism was me, showing up in jeans and a t-shirt at some retailer's office. When I have to sit on the other side of the story: what an essay really is, and make sure you solve that.

There's a more extreme variant where you don't just use your software, maybe it's not just that technical innovation happens slowly. They're probably good at judging new inventions for casting steel or grinding lenses, but they can't design. The word essay comes from the controversial topic of wealth, no one wants to look like a car was supposed to be a problem if technology increases that gap? Someone who goes to work for them long before they went public. If you disagree, try living for a year using only the resources available to the average person today. You're also safe that way from refutation. Not the length in distinct syntactic elements—basically, the size of the team you need, because a lot of people who go from one to the other and never realize the whole world doesn't work this way. If not, just don't take the first meeting. The more anomalies you've seen, the more leverage you get from using a powerful language.

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bountyofbeads · 5 years ago

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I'll say it for the umpteenth time, how would Republicans react if this were Barack Obama!!!

"Three years after Russia brazenly interfered in the US election, foreign help - even from adversaries - is now apparently fair game. Barring a significant shift among GOP lawmakers, if the president seeks it & most of his party defends or dismisses it, end result is acceptance." CREDIT: Jim Sciutto

"Trump covers up his high Crimes until they’re exposed — then says “So what? I’ll do it again: here, watch me. See? That didn’t hurt so much, did it?” It’s a normalizing technique that works — until it doesn’t." CREDIT:Lawrence Tribe

"Today’s exposure of Trump nonsense: when email traffic says, ‘remember, there’s no quid pro quo here’ it’s exactly as credible as when Manafort was telling his co-conspirators, ‘remember, we never lobbied in the US on behalf of Ukraine.’ That = “Witness Tampering for Dummies.” CREDIT: Glen Kirschner

"Given that the Ukrainians were told that they couldn’t get a White House visit without agreeing to investigate the Bidens, can there be any doubt they also were led to believe that the military aid was also so conditioned?" CREDIT: George Conway

Trump publicly calls on China to investigate Bidens

By Philip Rucker, Rachael Bade and Colby Itkowitz | Published October 04 at 12:38 AM ET | Washington Post | Posted October 4, 2019 AM ET |

President Trump on Thursday publicly urged China to investigate Democratic challenger Joe Biden, a new request that a foreign government assist his reelection campaign adding to the extraordinary pattern of conduct at the center of a fast-accelerating impeachment inquiry.

With his brazen and direct appeal to the Chinese, delivered before journalists assembled on the South Lawn of the White House, Trump seemed to make a mockery of the charge that he abused the power of his office by pressing his Ukrainian counterpart to examine unfounded allegations of corruption by Biden and his son Hunter.

Trump’s plea to China for an investigation into the Bidens came almost immediately after he addressed his acrimonious trade war with China. “I have a lot of options on China,” Trump warned, “but if they don’t do what we want, we have tremendous power.”

When a reporter then asked what he had hoped Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky would do following their July 25 phone call, Trump replied: “If they were honest about it, they’d start a major investigation into the Bidens. It’s a very simple answer. They should investigate the Bidens.”

Trump went on to say, “China should start an investigation into the Bidens, because what happened to China is just about as bad as what happened with Ukraine.”

Trump’s remarks underscored his claim that he did nothing improper by calling on a foreign power to investigate a domestic political opponent, a move his critics consider an egregious violation of his constitutional oath.

Trump’s statement about China effectively globalizes the argument he has been making domestically, calling on other countries to stand with the United States under his rule or against it. It could signal to other countries that one way to curry favor with the United States is by digging up damaging information about Democrats.

Thursday also marked the latest instance of Trump saying aloud something that almost certainly would be a major scandal if revealed from a private conversation. Trump’s request of China echoed his “Russia, if you’re listening . . .” appeal during the 2016 campaign for the Russian government to steal Hillary Clinton’s missing emails and release them.

“Someone should inform the president that impeachable offenses committed on national television still count,” Clinton tweeted Thursday.

Trump and his allies have provided no evidence to back up their claims of wrongdoing. Hunter Biden joined the board of an investment advisory firm whose partners included Chinese entities shortly after visiting China in 2013 with his father while he was vice president. George Mesires, an attorney representing Hunter Biden, has said that his client acquired a 10 percent equity stake in the firm in October 2017, and as of this summer that stake was worth about $430,000.

On Capitol Hill, meanwhile, Democratic leaders denounced Trump’s China comments and appeared dumbfounded that the president had given them live ammunition to use against him in their impeachment proceedings.

“The president of the United States encouraging a foreign nation to interfere again to help his campaign by investigating a rival is a fundamental breach of the president’s oath of office,” House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam B. Schiff (D-Calif.) told reporters. “It endangers our elections, it endangers our national security, it ought to be condemned by every member of this body, Democrats and Republicans alike.”

House investigators deposed the first major witness in the Ukraine matter, Kurt Volker, who resigned last week as U.S. special envoy for Ukraine after being named in the whistleblower complaint that sparked the impeachment inquiry. Following the nearly 10-hour deposition, House investigators released text messages provided by Volker illustrating how at Trump’s behest, senior State Department officials coordinated with a Ukrainian official and Trump’s lawyer Rudolph W. Giuliani to leverage a summit between the two heads of state on the Ukrainian president’s promise to investigate the 2016 election and an energy company that employed Hunter Biden.

Also Thursday came the revelation that Trump ordered the swift removal of the U.S. ambassador to Ukraine, Marie Yovanovitch, this year after hearing concerns from Giuliani, as well as former Texas congressman Pete Sessions, among others, outside of the administration, a senior administration official confirmed. Trump’s role in the ambassador’s ouster was first reported by the Wall Street Journal.

Giuliani complained in a recent interview with The Washington Post that Yovanovitch obstructed efforts to persuade the Ukrainians to investigate the Bidens. “She is running around the streets of Ukraine going against the elected president of the United States,” Giuliani said.

Congressional Republicans, who rarely speak a cross word about the president, barely blinked at his China remark. The muted response from GOP lawmakers about Trump’s call for China to investigate Biden presented a stark contrast to earlier this week, when many spoke out after the president tweeted congratulations to Chinese President Xi Jinping in celebration of the 70th anniversary of communist rule in Beijing.

By Thursday, however, most of those voices fell silent on Trump’s latest Chinese assertion. Minutes after Trump called on China to investigate Biden, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) tweeted a link to a letter he sent House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) that morning asking her to suspend the impeachment inquiry until she answers questions about the process.

Rather than condemning Trump’s appeal to the Chinese, McCarthy prodded the speaker for clarity on whether the House would vote on an official impeachment inquiry, or whether Republicans would get subpoena power to call their own witnesses.

“As you know, there have been only three prior instances in our nation’s history when the full House has moved to formally investigate whether sufficient grounds exist for the impeachment of a sitting President,” McCarthy wrote. “I should hope that if such an extraordinary step were to be contemplated a fourth time it would be conducted with an eye toward fairness, objectivity and impartiality.”

Pelosi responded to McCarthy’s missive by noting that his request came “shortly after the world witnessed President Trump on national television asking yet another foreign power to interfere in the upcoming 2020 elections.”

“As you know, our Founders were specifically intent on ensuring that foreign entities did not undermine the integrity of our elections,” Pelosi wrote.

Rep. Daniel Kildee (D-Mich.), a deputy whip on Pelosi’s leadership team, said Trump’s comment “certainly strengthens our case that this president is abusing his power in a way that is really dangerous for America.” He speculated that Trump intentionally was “trying to say openly and publicly the things he knows he’s going to get caught having said privately to normalize and soften the reaction.”

Kildee recalled that during the special counsel’s Russia investigation Trump insisted that “he would never enlist foreign interference … ‘No collusion! No collusion!’ Then he gets caught colluding with Ukraine. I think he’s now decided that the only way he can survive this is to do what he has been doing in secret in a very public way in order to normalize it.”

Sen. Lindsey O. Graham (R-S.C.), usually one of the president’s loyal defenders, said in an interview Thursday that he did not agree with the call for China to investigate the Biden family.

“I don’t want to go down that road,” Graham said. He tried to explain Trump’s request by adding, “It’s the president pushing back. He feels like everyone is coming after him all the time and he hasn’t done anything wrong.”

Vice President Pence, traveling in Arizona, was a voice of support. Asked about Trump’s call for China to investigate the Bidens, the vice president told reporters, “I think the American people have a right to know if the vice president of the United States or his family profited from his position as vice president in the last administration.”

Pence had a different position in 2016 when he was running for vice president. During his debate with Sen. Tim Kaine (D-Va.), Pence said, “This is basic stuff. Foreign donors, and certainly foreign governments, cannot participate in the American political process.”

Trump, meanwhile, continued his defiant stance Thursday, lashing out at Democrats and the media as he deviated from prepared remarks promoting Medicare, making an official White House event feel like a campaign rally. Addressing residents of The Villages, a retirement community in Florida, Trump mused about staying in office beyond his legal limit of two terms.

“If you want to drive them crazy, just say eight more years or 12 more years or 16 . . . you’d really drive them into the loony bin,” Trump said. “That’s why they do the impeachment crap, because they know they can’t beat us fairly.”

Trump mocked Biden’s standing in the Democratic nominating contest and said Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) was his likeliest opponent because “she came up from the ashes.” He called the Democrats “maniacs” and suggested that if they take back the White House “the country’s going to go to hell.”

Trump also went on an extended rant about CNN’s coverage of him and then proposed creating a government-run television news network to compete with the independent media.

“We ought to start our own network and put some real news out there because they are so bad,” Trump said. He added, “We are looking at that. We should do something about it, to put some really talented people and get a real voice out there, not a voice that’s fake.”

Trump also bizarrely accused pharmaceutical companies of being behind the House Democrats’ push for impeachment because of his administration’s work to lower drug prices.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if the hoax didn’t come a little bit from some of the people that we’re taking on,” Trump said, later singling out the pharmaceutical industry. The president provided no evidence for his claim.

Asked to respond, Holly Campbell, a spokeswoman for the industry group PhRMA, said, “Not to be so frank, but it is ridiculous you are asking me about it. Of course we are not.”

Josh Dawsey, Paul Kane, Toluse Olorunnipa and John Wagner contributed to this report.

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