#just like everyone who thinks “trusting anything ever” is the source of their problems i think maddie is destined to repeat her mistakes

[tozettastone]

Kakuzu really is trying his best in his own gremlin way! I just appreciate how much thought you put into his character, and even if he’s not physically there, his presence is felt so much, because Maddie is thinking about him, which makes me want to sob

But I want to ask however, doesn’t Maddie look like Kakuzu? Didn’t Sasori/Deidara see how she’s basically his clone with a different eye color? Can’t imagine either of them thinking it’s smart to backstab a referral of Kakuzu’s either?

Speaking of which, what did Kakuzu do to them once/if he found out about the whole poisoning incident?

I wish I could send Maddie money so she doesn’t have to rely on sketchy ninjas for cash sigh

Yes, he's trying his best. His best is just a bit shit. Poor Kakuzu. I am glad you've enjoyed his characterisation though!

Didn’t Sasori/Deidara see how she’s basically his clone with a different eye color?

Probably not. I doubt they've seen his face very often! It probably seems more likely that someone he knows shares his skin tone — and maybe his general ethnic background? — than that he has a kid. Can someone like Kakuzu even reproduce...

Can’t imagine either of them thinking it’s smart to backstab a referral of Kakuzu’s either?

I think Sasori considers it a genuine infosec problem if Maddie's available to talk about the job he just took her on. It's a pretty sensitive scenario: Ōnoki hires criminals to cross the border into Fire Country and wipe out a foreign squad of ninja. It didn't cross Kakuzu's mind that Maddie would go talk about it to someone, though, because he's... met her. Talk? To who? Hidan? That he was "backstabbing" someone probably didn't really occur to Sasori. He's just running a clean operation.

All of this could have been avoided if Kakuzu'd just been like, "Hey, my kid is a sensor." And that would likely not have been terribly dangerous for Maddie if he admitted it to the Akatsuki, really. They already have Kakuzu there to do the upgraded version of every trick she can do, so what value has she? But Kakuzu has his own irrational, emotional motives for not admitting to any kind of positive interpersonal relationship.

Speaking of which, what did Kakuzu do to them once/if he found out about the whole poisoning incident?

I do think Sasori just reported it as a matter of information security. Like: "Mission success, no witnesses."

And I feel like perhaps Kakuzu can forgive attempted murder but, now that he has made a solid attempt at making Maddie an ancillary part of of his identity, he really draws the line at running out on your bill.

I will not tell you exactly what happened though. It will become clear later! :)

I wish I could send Maddie money so she doesn’t have to rely on sketchy ninjas for cash sigh

Ah, that's sweet. Poor Maddie! Yes, I hope Maddie has learnt her lesson on this one, hahaha.

[yoditopascal]

Like A Prayer (Part 4)

summary: best friends with wade you’re always being dragged into something even when he’s not trying to, what are you to do when you find the fate of your timeline in the hands of yourself, your chaotic merc and an angry wolverine who’s hellbent on drinking himself to death?

content warning: romance, some angst, a little fluff, character deaths, canon-typical violence, smut, lots of cussing, mutual pining, found family, drug and alcohol use, reader insert but with no use of y/n cuz I hate that shit, deadpool being deadpool, mentions of poor mental health (depression anxiety and ptsd mostly), scent marking, the honda odyssey scene needs a warning all on its own MINORS DNI

a/n: edited by the ever so lovely karmiccc on ao3! Comments and criticisms are welcome!

tag list: sorry if you weren’t tagged I tried tagging everyone that asked but some usernames didn’t work! @allmyn1ghts @blooket-scares-me @amararosesblog @talanyra @spideybv28 @sadslasher13 @night-spectrum @eveieforeve02

Previous Chapter//Next Chapter

On Your Left Babygirl

Wade watches from the corner of his eye as your feet drag behind you, the now limp Wolverine was pressing his full mass into the two of you, and you were clearly struggling with the newly added weight.

“One Anchor Being coming right up, on your left, baby girl!”

“This Logan has everything! He can do pretty much anything the old model could plus he even sings musicals! And he’s actually wearing a costume like he’s not embarrassed to be in a superhero movie for once!”

“I don’t understand.”

“You said my universe is dying, because this sad sack of nuts got himself killed. Well, problem solved!”

“Y-you actually think you can replace an Anchor Being with this?” Paradox says between laughs pointing at Wolverine still on the floor. “I wouldn’t have accepted any other Wolverine bee tee dubs, but you’ve brought me the absolute worst Wolverine there is!

“What do you mean the worst one?” Wade asked, walking closer to Paradox.

Just as Wade was less than an arm’s length away from Paradox, you saw the off brand Mr. Darcy reachout and grab something behind his back. You jump forward placing yourself in between the two men just as Paradox drew his weapon.

“Wade watch-!” You don’t get to finish your sentence as Wade watches in absolute horror as you disintegrate into nothing in front of him.

Wade falls to his knees as if trying to catch your particles that were still floating about in the air before disappearing entirely.

The distinct snikt of Wolverine unleashing his claws breaks Wade out of his trance as he watches the Wolverine, now back on his feet, lunge for Paradox with his claws in pure rage before disappearing too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Logan groans as he sits up, cracking his neck back into place. He raises a hand to shield his face from the harsh rays of the sun above him as he lets out a sharp hiss from the incoming headache he was starting to get from the combination of the fall and all the alcohol he drank earlier.

Barely starting to sober up, he looks around himself with a grunt as he stands, taking in the environment around himself.

If he had to guess he’d had no idea where the fuck he was. The scene around him was dry and arid like a desert, only this one didn’t seem familiar to him at all. There was all kinds of trash and debris around him like it had been dumped here and forgotten. Taking in a few greedy inhales, Logan scented the air, coming back with only faint traces of smoke, dirt and something else, something sweet and fresh and familiar but still different at the same time.

Turning his head to follow the source of the smell Logan spots you, laid out face first on the ground. He walks up to you apprehensively, not knowing if he could trust you or not but as he approaches he realizes you’re out cold.

Getting a closer look at you now he’s able to take in your features up close. If you were a shapeshifter of some kind like he previously thought, you were a hell of a good one. At first glance you looked just like her, the same hair and big doe eyes that used to look up at him. You were even dressed the same way.

Squatting down to your level Logan’s able to get a much better whiff of you from here. There’s no mistaking a scent, even when Morph and Mystique used to try and trick him back in the day but it never worked because they could never change their smell.

There was no doubt about it, the smell was definitely yours. Shamefully Logan found his eyes wandering down your frame slowly as he drank you in, eyes lingering on your ass for a few seconds before turning you over onto your back, and God, even your face was the same. The longer he looked at you the more he realized you really were her. Only, you had less pronounced smile lines, and were less muscular, having probably only known peace in your life, you had appeared more softer than she had been. Just as his gloved hand was a breath away from caressing your cheek, he’s ripped from his inspection by the sound of something heavy hitting the ground behind him.

Standing to his feet, he looks back at you one last time before looking at the disfigured body of the guy in red from before as his bones snap back into place. He sniffs the air again, realizing the man that had just fallen from the sky. He smelled absolutely rancid to him, stinking of blood, gunpowder and a distinct sickly cancerous smell.

Definitely a threat. Logan concludes as he starts to walk up to him.

Wade coughs as he rolls over onto his back, looking down between his legs as Wolverine walked up to him, stopping right as his feet, “Don’t just stand there, you big ape. Give me a hand!”

Wolverine stared down at him, his hazel eyes swirling with contempt and silent fury as he unsheathed his claws.

“No, I’m actually okay, thank you,” Wade barely finishes his sentence before he’s being stabbed through both his sides, letting out a sharp curse as Logan hoists him in the air like a kebab.

“Where the hell are we?!” He demands.

“I don’t know! It all looks kinda Mad Maxy but that would be copyright infringement, wouldn’t it?!” Wade cries out as Wolverine harshly drops him to the ground.

“Fucking jokes,” Logan scoffs before turning his back to him, walking towards your still unconscious form.

“Hey hey! You stay away from my pookie bear, you hear me?” Wade warns as he cocks his gun pointing it at the back of Wolverine’s head.

“Or what?” He dared the man to continue.

Wade lowers his gun as he realizes how fast the situation was starting to escalate, his eyes dart back and forth between you and the very ready to rip his guts out Wolverine before he curses to himself. After putting his gun away, Wade raises his hands up in the air as a way to appease Logan as he began to warily approach him.

“Look, we don't have time for this alright? If we don’t make it back to that Paradox asshole. Everyone I know is going to die,” Wade starts to explain the situation to him but Logan rolls his eyes as he turns back around, continuing to walk towards you.

“No, my fucking problem,” Logan replies coldly as he waves him off.

Wade felt his blood boil. He was never a patient man, nor a very nice one, but compared to this guy? He was a fucking saint. It was an insult to everyone that his Anchor being replacement had to be such a dick.

“Is that what you said when your world went to shit?” Wade shoots back to Wolverine, stopping him in his tracks again.

“Come again?” Logan growls, turning back to face him.

“Yeah, I heard all about you.” Wade began as he turned around, becoming increasingly exasperated by the situation at hand, ”You screwed up everything, but you really should be thanking me for pulling you out of that bed you shit-“

Wade let out a scream as searing pain shot through his body. Looking down he sees the infamous adamantium claws of Wolverine protruding through his chest.

“Oh, you backstabbing son of a bitch!” Wade grunts in agony as he’s hoisted in the air again, this time on his back.

Fighting back against the pain, Wade uses his own momentum to flip himself behind Wolverine, throwing them both onto their backs on the ground, the blades of the Wolverine’s claws tearing more of his flesh and bone on their way out as he did so. Without missing a beat Wade pressed his guns against Wolverine’s sides and shot out several rounds as the older man let out a guttural scream of pain.

“Are you ready to be calm now?” Wade asks almost mockingly, guns still pressed to Wolverine’s ribs.

He’s met immediately with a headbutt, no doubt breaking his nose underneath the mask.

“Fuck!” Wade swears in pain as Wolverine rolls off him.

Not giving Wade any time to gather his bearings, the older mutant grabs him by his ankles before throwing him into a wall. Wade heard the bones in his arm snap as he crashed through the cement wall, tumbling backwards against a sunken monument that seemed familiar to him. Wade groaned as he stumbled back up to his feet, his arm snapped back into place painfully as he reloaded his gun.

“I don’t want to fight you, Peanut! Doesn’t matter what you did. I just need your help.” Wade called over to Wolverine as he stood across from him in the wasteland.

“I don’t fucking care,” Logan snaps back as he spits out a smoking bullet, the rest falling from his torso, his healing factor working over time to push them out.

“Fuck, this is gonna hurt,” Wade says more so to himself than anyone else, “Alright! Fuck it! Let’s give the people what they came for!”

“Let’s fucking go,” Logan says as he crouches down to his knees, readying himself for whatever Wade was about to throw at him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You take a sharp much needed inhale through your nose as the final bone in your spine snaps back into place. Sputtering out a cough you sat up bltrying to block out the blinding light of the sun with your hand as a headache pulsed through your skull. Looking around you slowly take in the dilapidated scenery around you.

Where the hell were you? You thought to yourself as you looked down at your watch to check the time.

The screen was broken, a crack having spiderwebbed across the screen. You weren’t exactly sure when it had broken but from what you could tell from when it had stopped working it was well beyond midnight.

“Oh I’m so fucking fired tomorrow,” You say with a groan as you rise to your feet dusting yourself off.

The sound of shouting and rapid gunfire drew your attention in the distance. Approaching the sound as cautiously as you could, you peek over a mound of rubble to find Wade being held down by an enraged Wolverine with Wade’s katanas and baby knife sticking out of him, reminding you of a human pin cushion.

“Let’s see you grow your fucking head back!” He shouts as he goes to sink his claws into Wade’s throat.

Picking up the first thing you see laying around you run up behind the Wolverine hitting him in the head as hard as you could, breaking the branch in your hands on impact. With a heavy grunt, he stumbles off of Wade onto the ground.The Wolverine clutches his ear as he snaps his head up to glare at his assailant. The rage in his eyes shifts to shock as you stand over wade protectively, glaring down at him with your broken branch raised high and at the ready for you to swing at him again if need be.

Snapping out of his daze, Wolverine gets to his feet and with his claws sheathed going to strike the red suited clown again, when hastily Wade rises to his feet, immediately moving you behind him with his hands raised up in surrender.

“Wait, wait, I can fix it! I know how to fix it!” Wade shouted at the Wolverine not willing to put you or himself in the Wolverine’s wraith.

“Fix what?” Wolverine asks has he slowly starts to lower his fist as he looks back and forth between you two.

“Whatever it is that you did that made you so bad! Those freaks in the TVA, they have the power to end our universe, but they can also change yours!” Wade says pushing you further behind him, not liking how the man was eyeing you.

Logan looks between the two of you incredulously as if trying to understand if what Wade just told him was true or not.

“Well?” He asks gruffly, eyes now completely focused on you.

Realizing he was talking to you and that your answer might be his deciding factor on whether or not to help you, you take a deep breath as you walk out from behind Wade who looks at you skeptically for a moment.

“We just traveled the multiverse trying to find you because of the TVA,” You began with a surprised chuckle still reeling in that fact that you actually did do that as you returned Logan's intense gaze,“Until today I didn’t think any of this kinda stuff was possible… But it is so I believe him,” You said exchanging a look with Wade as you finish, he nods his head to you almost in thanks.

Logan stares at you a bit longer before letting out a frustrated huff as he looks away, sheathing his claws. You nearly let out a beath of relief at the sight until the older man resumed his attention on you two again. The Wolverine looked back and forth between the two of you as he felt his nerves starting to grate again.

“How the fuck do you know this clown?” Logan asks annoyed, his fists were down at his sides but still balled up ready to fight again if he needed to.

Peeking over Wade’s shoulder, you part your lips about to answer him when suddenly you're cut off by a new voice.

“Hey! We fight each other, we lose,” Said a voice from above you all.

Puzzled, you all look up in the direction the voice came from.

“Who the hell is that?” You asked scrunching your face up in confusion as you use a hand to block out the harsh rays of the sun from your vision.

“Dear God its him…” Wade said, astonished.

“Who?” You asked as you and Wolverine share a confused glance.

Above you, on a worn down billboard, stood a man. He was covered in loose fitting dark clothes with a hood draped over him, blocking his face from view.

“That my little chocolate drop is the One. The superhero equivalent to comfort food or molly. White guys’ answer to all the disappointments in another A-lister,” Wade went on rambling as the cloaked man jumped down and landed before the three of you.

“Now that’s a superhero landing!” Wade clapped as the cloaked man turned to point out into the desert

“They're coming,” The man said.

Alarmed, you all look in the direction of his focus. On the horizon you all could see three cars speeding towards you, all three of the giving off serious Mad Max vibes.

“Well they’re definitely driving angry,” Wade joked, though you could tell by the drop in his voice that he was assessing the entire situation very much aware of the danger you two were about to be in.

“I got this,” The cloaked man said pulling down his hood to reveal a familiar face, “Stay close.”

“Aye aye, Cap,” Wade says walking up behind him to wrap his arms around the man before he pulls them off of him awkwardly.

As the cars neared they circled around the four of you a few times, some of the men blew out crude whistles making you cringe in disgust as you clutched your broken branch to your chest. Finally they stopped, their vehicles parked around you, caging you four in.

“Cassandra is going to be giddy when she sees what we caught!” A man with stringy greasy hair grins, showing off his filthy teeth to the group, “You know you can’t run.”

“You see anyone running, dick for brains? You’re not gonna love what happens next,” The cloaked man retorted.

“Oh my god, he’s going to say it!” Wade says smacking one of his katana’s that still protruded from the Wolverine’s chest.

Logan stumbled back a bit with a weak ‘ah fuck’ as you instinctively reached out to steady him. He turned his head to look at you as soon as he felt your hands on him. You held his eyes for less than a second before abruptly removing yourself from him, now focusing on looking at anything else but him.

“Avengers Assem-!” Wade begins to shout as if anticipating what the cloaked man was about to say, however that’s not what he said at all.

“Flame on!”

“Sorry, what now?”

The cloaked man shot out into the sky in a ball of fire. He hovered over everyone for a moment before blasting out a stream of fire directly at the greasy man that had spoken before. The greasy man grins as he holds his hand out, absorbing the flames before he twists his fingers cutting off the cloaked man’s power like a faucet. The man barely had a second to register what happened before he began his miserable descent from the sky. He hit the billboard he was standing on before twice before flopping on the ground, completely unconscious.

“We don’t know that guy,” the Wolverine was quick to say.

“We thought we did,” Wade agreed as he looked over the unconscious man before turning back to the group of thugs.

“Oh but I know you,” A beastly looking man with pitch black eyes said as he dropped down to their level from atop a car.

His dark orbs were fixated on Wolverine, who returned his glare with his own as he bared his teeth at him with a growl.

“Holy shit… Sabretooth… your brother,” Wade said, a hint of excitement in his voice as he looked between the two.

“Ready to die?” Sabertooth asked as he stalked towards them, eyes never leaving Wolverine.

“Wait! Wait! Wait! Time!” Wade calls out as he begins to remove his weapons from Wolverine’s body giving him a long winded nonsensical pep talk in normal Wade fashion.

“Shut the fuck up!” Wolverine growls out, shoving him back into you.

What an asshole you thought to yourself with a scrunched up face.

The Wolverine lowered himself into a fighting stance before the two mutants lunged for each other. The two collided briefly in the middle as the familiar sound of metal tearing against bone and flesh rang through the air, before sliding past each other entirely. Both brothers stood on opposite sides of the dry field.

“What is it, girl? Is there trouble at the well?” Wade mocked with an innocent tilt of his head.

You might’ve laughed at the Lassie reference if it wasn’t for the fact that not a second later Sabretooth’s head rolled off his shoulders and right at your feet. You scrunched up your nose again, turning your head away in disgust as Wade picked it up.

“Behold! The head of your precious Queen, Furiosa! I have the Wolverine! I alone control her! You come for me! You come for her!” Wade declares as he raises the head in the air like a prize before he leans over into Logan’s ear, “I’m so sorry. I know it’s pronounced him. I’m gender blind. It’s my cross to bear.” Logan simply rolls his eyes at him.

“Who’s next?” He challenges looking around at the men who were left, waiting for someone to step up to him.

The greasy man let out an amused chuckle before calling out to one of his partners “Toad! You’re up!”

You look towards the other mutant and resist the urge to cringe again as he shoots out his slimy green tongue and pulls a lever. Instantly it activates a giant metal magnet that drags both Wade and Wolverine off their feet and into its pull.

“Wade!” you called out, unaware as a giant sentinel leg comes flying at you from behind, stunning you as it flies towards your companions, carrying you with it.

“Oh fu-“ Was all Wolverine had managed to get out before you and the sentinel leg crashed into him and Wade, knocking out the three of you on impact.

[crownmemes]

Concerned Sentences, Vol. 5

(Concerned sentences from various sources. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Are you crying?"

"Why the hell didn't you come to me?"

"Sometimes I really worry about you."

"I thought you quit?"

"Don't chase ghosts, okay? It's not worth it. Trust me."

"Would you say you struggle with anger?"

"What are you mad at?"

"It's not like you to be nervous."

"I'm going to yell at you later, but for now, I'm just glad that you're okay."

"Don't try to be a hero!"

"I'm around if you want to talk. No pressure or anything, I just wanted you to know that."

"You look awfully serious. Is everything okay?"

"You're afraid of him, aren't you?"

"You know, believe it or not, I'm actually beginning to worry about you."

"Hold on. Have you really thought this through?"

"Are you still getting the flashbacks?"

"Don't get lost in worst-case scenarios."

"You do realise the risk if anyone sees us?"

"Is there a problem?"

"Once on the path you choose, you cannot turn back."

"You look so unhappy. This breaks my heart."

"You're not very good at this, are you? "

"What the hell were you thinking? You could have gotten yourself killed!"

"I was hoping we'd have a chance to discuss the events of the last few days."

"You keep so much bottled up that you're blowing up everything around you!"

"I thought for sure you were dead."

"How are you coping?"

"He has lied to you, and he has used you. That is all that he has ever done, and that is all that he will ever do."

"If I said no, would you really believe me?"

"This is just a game for you, isn't it?"

"You can't save everyone."

"Hiding from your fear doesn't make your fear go away."

"Why are you crying?"

"Since when have I had the power to stop you from doing anything?"

"If you were upset, you would tell me, right?"

"I'm not going to be here forever, and who's going to look after you then?"

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Why are you drinking so much tonight anyway?"

[getvalentined]

I posted about this on the twits, but I'm gonna do it here too because it's not like this is limited to that platform.

Since I've been seeing my least favorite shitty FF7 rumor around again, friendly reminder that there are no "legal issues" between Gackt and SE delaying anything. Sources claiming otherwise say "trust me bro" when Nomura has literally said it was just the workload.

People who claim that delays in production of anything in the Compilation are because of Gackt are parroting a rumor that's been around for over a decade, which was started by people who used it as an excuse to be racist and homophobic under the thin veneer of frustrated criticism. The majority of hatred toward the character of Genesis Rhapsodos in early fandom, and hatred toward Genesis in modern day fandom from OG Purists, stems from this same place.

Why do you think these people always assert that Genesis' very existence "ruins Sephiroth's character," but never complain about Angeal? Why do you think they have no problems with Aerith having a Jenova-infused Angeal Copy in her church for years—something that should totally change her understanding of the Crisis, but doesn't seem to in any way whatsoever—and yet anything and everything Genesis does is treated as an unforgivable retcon?

It's an excuse to say heinous, horrible things about an all-but-explicitly queer character who is modeled off a real Japanese man, and that's all it ever was, but it gets a pass because they dress it up as criticism of the franchise. Then, when they inevitably start throwing out slurs, nobody cares because "it's just Gackt—I mean Genesis, everyone knows he sucks."

Yeah, you "know" because you let a bunch of bigots tell you he should be judged more harshly than any other character in the entire series because he's not white or straight enough. Because he's based directly on a real flesh-and-blood Japanese man, and to these people that makes him deserving of hate, because people like that shouldn't exist. Because the character is all but explicitly queer (and it is even more explicit in the original language and when accounting for some key culturally-specific literary references portrayed throughout the narrative), and people like that shouldn't exist.

You "know" because you never questioned why this character specifically is the only one it's "objectively and morally correct" to hate and belittle, even though everything he's supposedly hated for applies to multiple other characters throughout the series.

The character is loathed, and the actor is blamed for everything, because some old guard fans said that's how it's supposed to be in this fandom, and if you don't engage with things that way then you don't deserve to be here.

Very cool and normal behavior!

There are very valid reasons to dislike this character, mind you, and plenty of reasons to be critical of the actor. I'm not saying otherwise. I'm saying the pervasive and frankly disgusting fandom-wide hatred stems from the same place as the continued, repeatedly disproven assertion that Gackt is to blame for everything "wrong" with the Compilation and its development: bigotry. I know this because I saw these assertions come into being in real time when Crisis Core first came out. I watched the people saying these things post the most homophobic rants on their personal accounts, I watched people I considered friends get banned from LJ communities for referring to Genesis as Gackt and referring to Gackt with racial slurs.

And I watched them come back later, promising they were better people now, armed with new claims and new arguments that allowed them to continue to be hateful trashfires without getting in trouble. As long as they weren't overt, it was okay. If they slipped up and used a slur in the comments that was mostly okay, since it wasn't in the main post. Mods might lock a thread here and there, but those people got to stay. Their "criticism" was "valid," and thus their bigotry was validated.

Those same claims and complaints are still regurgitated today, only now it's by people who aren't racist and aren't homophobic, but don't realize that their criticism is horribly unbalanced because it was all born from people who were just masking hatred.

Even worse is when these behaviors are mimicked by people claiming to like the character, because the fandom taught them that this was how you're supposed to engage with him, because it's just Gackt—Genesis (I said Genesis!) so he's a piece of shit no matter how you slice it and he deserves to be treated that way. Nobody else does, and nobody questions it, because this is just how it's done.

I'm sorry to be the one to tell people this, but if you slap a bunch of gay stereotypes onto Genesis and then have the characters around him treat him like shit because of them, while implying or outright insisting that IT'S OKAY BECAUSE IT'S GENESIS AND HE SUCKS SO IT'S FUNNY, you are following in the footsteps of bigots. If you constantly refer to the character as "Gackt" like the name itself is a pejorative, you are following in the footsteps of bigots.

No, there is no nuance here. I don't care if you allegedly came to all these conclusions on your own—you didn't and you know it—except for the fact that actually that's worse, because it means that you did some kind of deep dive in the source material and came out the other side agreeing with a bunch of racist homophobes who are still spitting bullshit after over 15 years.

Do fucking better.

[jamiesfootball]

After careful consideration and a lot of angry tags, I think I have pinpointed for me where Ted Lasso, especially season three, fails to succeed all the way at the themes it explores.

The narrative uses the deconstruction of toxic masculinity to paint their characters as being stronger for having let go of their preconceived notions of acceptable behavior - but the narrative also never lets their characters be weak or fragile without having toxic masculinity to blame. And there are a lot of situations in this show where you would expect someone to go ‘hey man, are you okay? Are you doing alright? because that was a shit thing that happened. it’s okay if you’re not okay.’

And it never does.

There’s an undercurrent in how scenes play out that suggests that the male characters should be strong enough to deal with hand they’ve been dealt. The narrative suggests that they’re the ones who need corrected. They can act better, but they can not be treated better themselves as a result. The male characters are allowed to express themselves, but they are not allowed to ask for anything back from the situation.

Which is why you can have a fight with your assistant coach, but when he comes back to apologize you don’t articulate how it made you feel. You don’t tell your friend how he hurt your feelings. You just accept it and move on.

The Diamond Dogs give advice on how to handle external problems with  emotional roots. They never discuss how they feel internally on its own merit.

The closest we got to a male character just having a bad one and expressing it without a clear source of external conflict? Jamie in the boot room. And that was played for laughs.

Which is why you could be in a deep depression over losing your career of twenty years and part of your mobility, I guess. But also maybe that’s a problem of you not being able to let go, and maybe you should apologize for not moving on sooner? We should pity Roy for getting so stuck in his own shit all the time. Not because the man has lived an incredibly stressful and emotionally isolated life in a high pressure environment for so long he doesn’t have the tools to deal with it, but because the narrative would like us to know if he just stopped getting in his own way all the time, this wouldn’t be a problem.

Is your ex-wife seeing someone else, who happens to also be the person who was your marriage counselor? I don’t know man, relationships are hard. Don’t worry about how hard that must have shaken your trust in a profession that already made you feel skittish. Maybe you should stop obsessing over her and move on.

Your girlfriend can tell all your friends and coworkers how you’re too smothering. Yes, this is the ‘learn how to communicate better’ show, but that was on you, really. Good on you for apologizing for smothering her.

The women may have worrying relationships with people who love bomb them or turn out to be controlling, but Jane and Beard are just a bit weird. Don’t worry about it, Higgins.

You can take accountability for your actions, but if it was your email who was hacked - who cares? You apologized, and everyone is very proud of you. We won’t ever bring up how incredibly mortifying that must have been for you to realize, because something more mortifying happened to someone else.

You can show your emotions, but not the angry ones, not the bad ones - those you should get a hold on, no matter how warranted they are. The stronger you are, the more divorced from toxic masculinity you are, the less those things should matter.

Struggling with your abusive dad and how his relationship with you has literally scared you so badly that you keep looking over your shoulder, afraid he’ll be there? That is clearly the anger talking. This is definitely not a situation that calls for your pseudo-father figure to put his hand on your shoulder, look you in the eye, and say, “i’m really sorry to hear that, son, but you know we got your back. Ain’t nothing bad gonna happen to you while we’re here.” 

No no, this is a you problem and you can correct it by forgiving that man who hurt you. In fact, you thank him for motivating you. It was the anger that got you this far. It wasn’t getting up at 4am every morning for extra training. It wasn’t your mentor, the one invested all his time in helping you. It wasn’t the coach who gave you a second chance when you blew your whole life up to get away from that man. It wasn’t your own drive and passion and love for the sport that pushed you towards succeeding in a career you only had a one-in-a-million chance of ever getting. No, it was the anger that carried you. You should let that go. And hey - what if hypothetically speaking, he might try to be better too one day? You can’t hold it against him. You should let that go too.

Breakdowns and displays of crying are fine, but expecting people to care or show concern afterwards? The narrative doesn’t know her. The narrative will not validate that. We don’t see what happened after Wembley. We don’t see what happened when Isaac came back to the locker room after blowing up. What the show will validate, however, is moving on. Just be a goldfish, or forgive and forget. 

And finally-

Embrace your feelings, but not too hard - you can’t be trusted with them, actually.

Can you imagine that we actually got a scene of Roy telling Jamie that he was worried if either of them pursued Keeley it might ruin their friendship? Can you imagine? From the beginning they have butted heads. From the beginning, Roy has struggled to actually articulate his feelings, especially to the people they involve. And here is Roy doing exactly what the narrative has been teaching him to do - he voiced a feeling that was bothering him to the person who was involved in the problem. Unprompted. He did that on his own. After three seasons of being told that is what he should do when he has a problem, that should have been the moment of narrative reward. That would have been the audience’s release of tension: they’re still at odds, they’re still the same bull-headed people they’ve always been, but they’ve learned to talk about it. No matter what happens next, at least, they’ve gotten this far.

Instead the narrative rewarded him, and us, by having them fight it out in a back alley. Because they’re idiots, and they can’t be trusted to handle their feelings without someone else in the narrative (Keeley) setting them straight.

Yes, people backslide in real life all the time. But when the narrative backslides at the very end of the story - that’s just nihilism. That’s what this felt like - all that progress and promise that you can be better, and two of the people who struggled the most tripped at the finish line. The audience don’t even get to see them pick back up. I mean they’re fine now, I guess. They went for kebabs. I have to assume it worked out. I guess after that they found a way to be happy, but I would have preferred to see them find a way to be happy by way of their own actions. Not in a fanfic. Not by way of imagining how it went afterwards. Not by what’s implied in a montage. By the story actually showing me they could get there on their own.

And the worst part about all of this is that when the show gets it right? It fucking sings. The team coming together to repair Ola’s? That sings. Ted’s ‘ain’t nobody in this room alone’ speech? Wonderful. Trent telling Colin that ‘some people need time to adjust; it’s not fair, but they do’? So delicately wielded, so painful. Beard’s speech to Nate about stealing a loaf of meth? Chef’s kiss. Ted forgiving Rebecca when he learns why she brought him to coach Richmond? The tears in his eyes when he tells her ‘divorce is hard’?

The hug at Wembley.

That’s what I wanted, from start to finale. When the show knew how to wield its empathy, it wielded it like a knife, cutting into the deepest parts of your heart.

Which is why when it does mess up, it hurts so much worse. Because by season three, the show has sunk so far into the deconstruction of things that it’s forgotten that what it fixed were not the only problems those characters ever faced. The show zoomed in too close on the themes. It forgot that at its roots, the its biggest strength has been its empathy. And that to me is where the show failed.

[namiusedbubble]

Let me stay

A self-indulgent comfort fic with Sebastian. TW: Depression

It was bound to happen eventually. 

From the minute you’d arrived at Hogwarts, it seemed like everyone and their gran wanted you to solve all of their problems. It started okay, just an extra assignment here, a rescue mission there, but soon you were stopping rebellions, covering up murders, and watching as your father figure died in your arms. Really, it shouldn’t have come as such a surprise when you eventually crashed and disappeared.

Sebastian had been searching for three days before he finally found a trace of you in the form of a burned-down poacher camp deep within the Forbidden Forest. The scent of ash still overwhelmed the area, and he knew you couldn’t have gone far.

He followed a nearby path, taking note of the dead spiders that were now proving to be something of a navigational aid to find you. Poppy had warned him about the centaurs living here, but he doubted centaurs had anything to do with this. No, this had your signature all over it. He was the one who taught you confringo, after all. 

After a bit of walking, he eventually stumbled across a small, cream-coloured tent nestled within a clearing. Unlike those belonging to poachers or goblins, this one stood alone. Sebastian couldn’t help but chuckle when he spotted the unicorns grazing nearby. Trust you to run away and join a herd of unicorns.

He calls your name as he approached, not wishing to startle you and end up hexed or worse. The flap opened then as if it had been expecting him, and it gave him the opportunity to look inside. The tent had clearly been enchanted to appear smaller than it actually was. A large wooden beam decked out in fairy lights stood in the middle, offering support for the structure and providing a warm, inviting glow. At the back of the tent, a claw-legged bath sat next to a large bed, and Sebastian had half a mind to crawl in and take a nap. 

Until he saw your head appear from beneath the covers and his heart sank. Your eyes were bloodshot, the dark circles beneath them only serving to accentuate your pallid complexion and it was clear you hadn’t been sleeping. 

“Took you long enough.” you rasped. “I thought you would have been here days ago.”

Sebastian snorted and kicked off his dirty boots, the tent once again sealing itself behind him. “Yes, well, turns out you’re a much better hider than I am a seeker. And that’s saying something.”

You smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes and he resisted the urge to pull you into a crushing hug. Instead, he settled his hand on your cheek and brushed his thumb over the tear tracks. He hated seeing you like this. You were one of the strongest people Sebastian had ever met. You took on the world repeatedly and won every single time, and had been the only source of light and comfort for him when everything went down with Anne and Ominis. He’d thought that nothing could phase you, but he’d been wrong. Very wrong, and now he was determined to return the favour.

“I’ll run you a bath.” He stated, pulling his hand away. He didn’t miss how your head briefly followed his touch before you caught yourself. 

“I think you need one more than I, Sallow.” 

Sebastian rolled his eyes, flipping the taps shut when the water reached the perfect temperature and amount. “Very funny today, aren’t we?” He held out his hand to you. You took a second to think it over before finally releasing a sigh and placing your hand in his, allowing him to pull you from the sanctuary of your new bed. It had been so long since you’d moved from it that Sebastian was forced to support your weight as your legs turned to mush. 

Once he was sure you were steady, he turned away from you. “I won’t look.” He promised. He heard the sound of your robe dropping to the floor and willed the blush from his face. It wasn’t the time to act like a school boy with a crush, even if that’s exactly what he was. He needed to be there for you emotionally and mentally. Maybe one day, hopefully, physically, too, but not yet. 

“You can turn around now. I added soap, you can’t see anything.”

Sebastian took a deep breath and turned to face you. You were staring into the water with a distant expression he’d never seen on you before, and he had to swallow the lump in his throat before he let himself cry for you.

He spotted an old book laying on the floor by the bed and grabbed it. He quietly moved behind your head then and transfigured the book into a handled copper cup. Sebastian dipped the cup into the bath before reaching up and slowly pouring the water onto your head, careful not to let it run down into your eyes. Sebastian gently brushed his fingers through your hair, untangling the knots that had formed during your days of tossing and turning. He felt you deflate, your head leaning back towards him as he massaged more soap into your scalp.

No words needed to be said, Sebastian already knew why you needed to get away, and one look at you told him that you wouldn’t have the energy to open up verbally to him, anyway. He would bring it up with you later, he decided, but for now, Sebastian focused on helping you completely the basic tasks you’d clearly been neglecting. He knew it wouldn’t bring you out of the dark place you found yourself, but it was a start. 

When all of the soap had been rinsed from your hair and the water had cooled, Sebastian leaned forward and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, and rested his chin on the top of your head. He knew this was an entirely inappropriate situation to put you in, but both of you had been through too much to care about notions of “decency”, and by the way you brought your hands up to hold onto his arms, he knew you didn’t, either. 

“Come back to the castle with me.” He whispered into your now clean hair. “Or let me stay here with you. I just ... I don’t want you to be alone anymore. You don’t need to be alone anymore. Let me take care of you like you care for everyone else.”

His words opened a floodgate inside of you, sobs wracking your body before you could stop them, and Sebastian held you tighter against his chest. It physically pained him to not just turn you around and embrace you fully, so he settled for pressing chaste kisses into your head and temple and allowed his own tears to fall freely. Sebastian didn’t know how long you both stayed like that, but the water was well and truly cold by the time you’d settled down. 

Sebastian went to grab a towel when he felt you begin to stand, and by the time he’d returned, you were wrapped in a fluffy robe he assumed was enchanted from your school one. He didn’t waste any time in draping the towel over your head and palming out the remaining liquid. It was mostly dry by now, but he’d hate for you to catch a cold from sleeping on wet hair.

“I want to go back with you.” You muttered, meeting his gaze for the first time that night. “Tomorrow. We’ll go back tomorrow. I’m too tired to face anyone but you tonight.” You took the towel from him and threw it across the room, your fingers tangling with his as you lead him towards the bed.

If this were any other situation, Sebastian thought he could have died from being invited into your bed. He had fantasized about it, often, if he were being honest, but now all he felt was a warmth engulfing him. You trusted him completely and without reservation, even after everything he himself had put you through, and he knew he would do anything to keep it that way. 

You both crawled into bed while he used his wand to snuff out the lights, plunging the tent into almost complete darkness. He reached over then, pulling you slightly on top of him so your head lay on his chest and his arms were once again around your shoulders. Sebastian thought, at that moment, he would give anything in the world to stay here in this tent with you. No more obligations, no more goblins or curses or demanding professors. Just you and him. He supposed it had been just you and him for quite a while now, but he liked it better when you weren’t taking on the world.

“Your heart is beating so fast.” You whispered, and Sebastian could hear the teasing lilt in your tired voice. “Do you want to sleep on the floor? Perhaps take a cold bath yourself?”

His face burned at your words, and you laughed as his heart sped up even more. Sebastian huffed and pulled the covers over you both. “Shut the hell up and go to sleep.”

[lamemaster]

I Dropped College to Become a Dark Lord

Genre: Crack, Modern guy in Middle Earth

Pairing: tbh

Summary: At first look, Melkor’s form seemed to be devoid of any sort of essence. A chill ran through the Valar as they considered the possibility of his escape. Tulkas and Orome had almost packed up for their adventure to Middle Earth. But then they had felt it. A sudden surge of life.

AN: I think I am kinda funny. Nothing more.

PART 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

“So, am I the bad guy?” Derek asked. They had somehow managed to reign in the emotions that ran wild in everyone’s mind. Introductions had been made and Derek got to know that Melkor is the name of the body he currently finds himself in.

“Yeah, no shit Melko- “

“Mandos!” the sky bluish light, who he had come to know as Manwe exclaimed.

Much to Derek’s dismay both the Vala switched back to the horrid Valarin. For beings who were the very source of music, one would expect a language calming, soothing, and sweeter than any other. Valarin…was horrendous. It stung in his ears like the noise of thousand nails scratching a blackboard.

He could understand it but trust him it was not worth it. It was the worst culture shock…worse than finding out his body’s origin.

Melkor, the body he entered, is none other than the ultimate bad boy of this world. A criminal who just barely got his parole on nepotism basis at that. Too bad he isn’t here to rejoice or anything. Derek wondered if the dark lord died or the worse possibility, Melkor switched bodies with him.

It was an amusing thought to imagine the dark lord as an engineering student. If there was anything worse than the endless void, it had to be the dark alleys of STEM. Well, he was glad that the report due the next day was not his problem now.

A distant, saner, part of Derek’s mind was still in the midst of processing the fact that he might indeed be dead in his world. His parents, his siblings, or roommates would find out and they would grieve for him. Or if they would delight in the chance of meeting his dark lord version.

The name Illuvatar had remained in Melkor’s memories, the only name that remained. All else was gone with him and so Derek tried it. ‘Umm…excuse me…Illuvatar are you there?’ Derek tried to talk to the possible god and his creator in this world. He had to be the one who must have had any idea of the stupid situation. ‘Am I still Derek? Or am I truly Melkor with an identity crisis or wait am I future Melkor and I time traveled back here. I mean it would be quiet a fall for Melkor to end up as an engineering student but hey it is a possibility.’ he tried asking, only to ramble and sound stupid in his inner monologue. None replied. Head empty no thoughts.

Well damn. This one’s got to have some daddy issues for sure. Derek wondered as he telepathically tried leaving a message for Illuvatar (don’t ask him how. He’s new to the whole thing. Trust the process).

‘ To Illuvatar, I do not know if this is you or not, but I must tell you I am not Melkor. Like I am in his body and it’s super weird. I don’t know if your feral son is dead (if he can die…) or not. I am just kind of in his body. I hope you can like tell me something about this all.’ P.S.- it's kinda urgent.

Hanging up the metaphorical phone Derek became aware of the quiet room. Manwe was staring at him again. It was the same look. Those puppy dog eyes just screamed of younger sibling energy. The look that siblings got seconds before they burst into tears. A precarious look for any older sibling ever.

Manwe was…bright. It was difficult to imagine how he was related to Melkor. Long white hair, glimmering blue eyes, and blue robes to maintain the angelic aesthetic. Manwe was pure innocence and uncorrupted power at the same time.

Melkor on the other hand. Well… Derek kinda could see himself without a mirror or anything. It was a Valar thing. A perk some would say. Just closing his eyes and he could see his form. He had almost screeched at his own reflection.

Melkor was…handsome. Sexy in the ‘I’ll be your fall from grace’ way. Dark black hair, the darkest there could be. Eyes bright like Manwe’s yet, there were glowing golden with the fervor of molten lava buried in the depth of the Earth. And contrasting such stark features was the palest skin ever. It was unlike Manwe’s healthy and flush tan. No Melkor was the supreme edge lord.

“Brother can you still not hear it?” Manwe asked. Derek, who had zoned out, realized that the focus from the previous quarrel had shifted back on him.

“Hear what?” Derek questioned. Was he supposed to hear something? Oh shit! Did someone call Melkor? It was hard remembering to respond to people when they called someone else’s name. Plus, he wasn’t that keen on the idea of discussing this weird possession with the guy who quite literally was a major simp for his brother. The idea of Manwe finding out his brother’s soul was gone was something scarier than Valarin.

With a barely concealed wince, Manwe replied “Do you not hear the music? The song of Arda? What about Illuvatar can you sense him?” Yikes, am I supposed to Derek wondered? To say or not to say, that is the question.

“I think don’t he can Manwe.” Another one of the Vala spoke instead of Melkor. If Derek remembered correctly, he was Ulmo. The Vala of seas, oceans, and rivers was visible in every facet of his personality and looks. Dark blue hair in the very predictably wavy in the fashion of waves, not that Derek disapproved of it. His first impression of Ulmo was that of the quiet kid who actually turns out to be really smart. The quiet kid you should not mess with. ‘Poseidon, Aquaman,’ Derek’s brain unhelpfully listed.

By the looks of it, Ulmo’s words did not sit well with Manwe. “I mean it is not difficult to see Manwe.” Mandos, the Vala who hated Melkor the most, added in support of Ulmo. It was surprising that even Derek felt the heavy animosity. And Derek was nothing if not dense.

Manwe continued to ignore Mandos and Ulmo collectively. “Can you truly not hear it Melkor?” he asked with an uncomfortably consistent eye contact. From his peripheral vision, Derek could see Varda take a step towards them.

“No,” Derek replied. “I cannot hear music or the song you speak of,” and the air in the room stilled. Everything fell silent as Manwe nodded in acceptance. However, Derek was not done. It was time to rip the bandage.

“I don’t remember anyone. I don’t know you or as matter of fact myse- “

“YOU MORON! WHERE IS MY MAIA?” before Derek could have completed his sentence he interrupted and was then promptly strangled by an unseen force. He truly had not seen it coming.

Put back the bandage he distantly wondered.

The room erupted in Chaos as Varda jumped in to save Manwe, who jumped in to save Melkor, who was attacked by Aule who was simultaneously being pulled away by Yavanna.

Chaos came to Valinor. Yet not the chaos that rained destruction but the chaos that mingled with the order to retain the world.

“He…he has returned.”

In the darkest canopy of unvisited forests, a voice whispered with a trace of hysterical joy. The sole existence of those woods. A shadow that lamented in unlit lands.

Once glazed eyes caught the first reflection of the light they once held. Ashen gray hair ignited as if a fire rekindled. Hair that now changed into the blistered red shade of flames. Gone was the lament and mourning.

Mairon had come to life.

“Master Melkor returned,” the silent trees of bleak woods shivered with fear as the fire captured them in its grasp.

With a crazed smile, Mairon wondered if it was time to go get his master back to their lands. Utumno would be rebuilt, and order would be restored.

So, it began as Mairon started making his way to Valinor.

[lil-oreo-crumbles]

Hey, got any thoughts about Seth?

Oh, do I ever!!

Seth is an incredibly fascinating, dominant, and looming presence in the Magic Book of Spells with the potential to be one of the most intriguing characters in the entirely of SVTFOE… that was tragically underutilized, slapped in the face, and is who I believe to be the source of the biggest missed potential in the entirety of canon.

But I do not trust the writers at all to have handled him in the show proper.

The Septarians are notoriously treated like absolute dirt. Any and all of the Septarians we meet have either been humiliated, turned into a joke, villainized beyond any humanity, and overall treated awfully. They’re portrayed as this unfeeling, violent, monster species with no (biological? cultural?) ability to forgive or forget the countless atrocities the Mewmans committed against innocent people. GEEZ, It’s not like the Septarians have enhanced longevity and experience time differently than almost EVERY OTHER SPECIES ON MEWNI with most of them FIRST HAND experiencing the atrocities other species of monsters and ESPECIALLY Mewmans see as “bygone eras of the past!!”

And even with the book alone, Seth is also lumped into this stereotype, and may be one of the worst offenders. Globgor can’t stand him and has intense bias against him (I know he talked about “Septarians” but my god we all know he means Seth to some degree. Seth is very clearly a prominent figure if not the leader of the Septarians and he’s pictured/alluded to twice in Eclipsa’s chapter), bitch Crescenta smeared his name into the DIRT in a rigged election campaign and destroyed his reputation, and Comet refused to take him seriously whatsoever (but then again it’s Comet so what are we really expecting??). He was even on the Magic High Commission’s radar, labeled as an “extremist” (which just about anything is labeled “extreme” in the MHC’s eyes so they’re not reliable narrators). He’s spat upon and repeatedly villainized. He gets no breaks or even a glimpse of humanity and everyone in the fandom after the book came out was hyping him up as this huge villain.

So, yeah, I don’t think the show would have bothered to give him any humanity or depth if he was introduced in the show proper and would have made egregiously worse the show’s already bad problem of making monsters, the historically marginalized and colonized group of people, the bad guys. (Seriously, Meteora wasn’t a “real” threat until she was revealed to be half monster. That makes me frustrated.)

I love Seth. I think he would’ve had amazing potential if put in the right hands. There’s so much to do with him and I’m mostly glad he’s been left alone so fans can interpret him in any way they want.

Now… what are my opinions and headcanons about him? What’s the story I’ve concocted?

Thankfully Seth is a character I can talk about without worrying about AU spoilers… mostly (thank god).

In my mind, Seth is someone who actually didn’t see the Great Monster Massacre first hand, hatching about 200 years afterwards (due to my timeline and how I’ve designed Septarian aging). But that doesn’t mean whatsoever that he hasn’t seen the atrocities of Mewmans. In fact, he’s been put in several situations where— while not Moe levels of genocide— he has seen the cruelest and most inhumane levels of Mewman aggression against monsters. He’s a victim of it first hand and spent 80+ years through torture after being ripped away from his homeland before finally uprising against it with his sister (oh yeah he has a sister in my AU)

He is someone who wholeheartedly earned the respect and adoration of his people. He was a leader that they wanted, not because of blood or any ties to the throne he had. (He’s by blood the Prince of Septarsis, but by the time he came back to Septarsis not many people remembered him since he had changed so much). He completely changed the governmental system and put Septarsis into its golden age.

Now this is what may get me in trouble, but stick with me… I don’t think the reputation he’s acquired is completely unfounded. YES the Mewmans and MHC are incredibly biased and we can’t take what they say at face value, but some stereotypes have some truth to them. It’s way overexaggerated, but Seth is someone who I see as extremely trigger happy in his youth.

While a great leader and delegate, he can be incredibly rash and actively seeks violence against Mewmankind. Never Solaria or Moe levels of genocide… but if Mewmans happened to disappear one day he’d be over the moon. This makes him a fun foil for Toffee’s mother in my AU, Mylanie, who’s someone who strives to end the conflict and seek lasting peace.

In the early days he was active in battle and loved fighting against his adversaries. In fact, I find the idea of Seth being the one to kill Solaria— specifically beheading her with his own hands— fascinating and I LOVE IT. He’s not afraid to get messy when protecting monsters or his homeland, and the stories about his violence is NOT unfounded. If anyone is perpetuating ideas about Septarian stereotypes, it’s our buddy Seth.

But here’s the important distinction, he is not going out of his way hurting innocent people. He’s not this bloodthirsty monster who’s trying to commit genocide, he’s not Solaria, he’s just someone who sees violence as the answer and thinks peace is a waste of time.

It wasn’t until the election that his priorities changed and he actually calmed down.

The smear campaign was a huge blow. It really got him to think and consider how his actions were affecting monsters as a whole but especially his own people. He knows how much influence he has over how his people are perceived… and that’s when he pulled back. He was still active, don’t get me wrong, and got along diplomatically with the few surviving monster civilizations, but he took a lot less of a role than he used to. He started thinking critically and cleverly instead of resorting to violence first and foremost. Peace with Mewmans was still firmly off the table though and is still that way to this day.

When Comet sent the invitation, he genuinely planned to ignore it. He had no intention of going to the banquet— as last time he played along with Mewman rules he got screwed— but did allow Toffee to be a representative after Toffee offered to go in his place.

Under one condition: No harm was to come to the Queen

And we see how that went…

I’d gladly go into his relationship/dynamic with Toffee but this post is long enough :). Maybe in another post!!

His “death” was a stunt to fully get him out of any Mewman drama, and he was especially glad he perpetuated that lie because of how pissed he was at Toffee after Comet’s death. He’s alive and well and still in charge of Septarsis, he’s just out of the public eye because everyone thinks he’s dead (except close allies).

Overall I see him as someone who was essentially what his reputation said he was until he got a huge ego blow and actually matured enough to stop being so trigger happy. He was always a great leader over Septarsis and did whatever it took to protect his people, but he had some growing up to do as well.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg. My AU goes into him a lot deeper and really fleshes him out. He’s a four dimensional character with layers and depth to him. While he seems like a Mewman hating “radical” on the surface, he’s humanized and he has layers and reasonings for his beliefs and actions.

I just love Seth. A lot. He’s so silly. He’s so fascinating and I love that everyone has a different perspective of him.

Also he is Rasticore’s dad you can’t change my mind !!

Dude I could literally make a whole other post on him I love this character so much—

Anyways here’s Seth and his little sister Zarina I love them to bits <3

[ouatsnark]

saw someone claim that emma wasn't herself in s6 because the show claimed that she was emotionally healed and happy and have the photos of her in distress and that the whole time hook and her being engaged to him was the source of her issues (it def wasn't lolz) and that s1 emma was perfect all she had to do was to learn to trust those around her and open up to family and she was there at the end of s1 without hook....uh she was barely there and her arc wasn't even over...weridos

When did the show claim she was emotionally healed? The bull shit they come up with...

So this sounds like what we deal with when the SQers try to tear down Emma's looks by using carefully selected screen caps:

If Emma was perfect in S1 then she wouldn't have had to learn anything.

But Emma did learn a lot about herself, her family and what she wanted in life. She learned how to trust, love and not fear the future. She went from someone who was closed off with a small world view to someone who was very open, empathetic and realizing that the world wasn't as small as she once believed. How does that not change you?

It's crazy that SQ believes that character growth can happen without having a significant impact on you. People change. Life changes us.

Oh but wait, Regina supposedly went through a whole ass redemption and she never changed at her core (still a condescending bully). But thankfully on this side of the fandom we stan characters that grow and emulate that growth.

It's really crazy when you think about their infatuation with saying Season 1 Emma is the better Emma because that Emma was not anymore in love with Regina than Emma in later seasons. Season 1 Emma hated Regina and was trying to save her son from Regina.

The only reason they want Season 1 Emma is because that Emma wasn't attached to a man. Or she was, Graham, but he died pretty quickly so they can just ignore it.

Regina is more to blame for Emma's problems than Hook.

In order to claim that Hook is the source of Emma's issues they have to completely ignore Emma's visions of her death and completely ignore that it is part of Regina that is actively trying to hurt her parents.

Killian Jones isn't causing any of this.

And yes, I 100% agree with this.

Emma will always have a significant weight on her shoulders because she has taken up her cause of ensuring that everyone gets a happy ending. It is her job to protect the entire town when there is trouble. That is a lot of pressure.

But that's OK because at the end of the day she's found happiness with the man that is beside her and supports her in every way

This is also covered in the first link up there. It's not only Regina stans that say this but Rumeblle too which is just even more hilariously hypocritical.

But to answer your plea for them to stop... No, no they can't and they never will stop. It's one of the most popular talking points they use to try and prop up their toxic ship.

[all-purpose-dish-soap]

https://www.tumblr.com/gihtw-writingdesk/761549522958794752?source=share

In case no one else has sent you that :)

this is good stuff, thank you!! pulling a few of these prompts to use later under the cut:

“I surrender, okay?”

“I’m going to take my time killing you.”

“You’re mine regardless how you feel about it.”

"You don't know what I'm capable of."

"I'll do whatever it takes to get what I want."

"You think you know me, but you have no idea."

"I don't care about anyone else's feelings but my own."

"The world is cruel, and I'm just playing by its rules."

"I don't want to hear another word from you until you sincerely apologize."

"You think you're so clever, but you're just making things worse for everyone."

"I trusted you to do this one thing, and you couldn't even do that right."

“Getting married to you was the worst decision of my life.”

“How are you still alive?”

“Keep shaking… it’s getting me aroused.”

“Can’t we just talk about it?”

“What are you hiding from me?”

“But we’ve met before.”

“Why does everything have to be a struggle with you?”

“I don’t think you wanna fuck with me.”

“I need you to want me too, not the other way around.”

“Why are you mad at me?”

"If you loved me, you’d do this."

"You’re so lucky to have me."

"Remember all those times I helped you?"

“I’d rather freeze to death, thanks.”

“He broke up with me over text.”

“He doesn’t deserve you.”

“You better run before I kill you.”

“Why are you so clingy?”

“We can’t keep talking. This isn’t healthy.”

“Not now. Not even in a million years. I would ever think to give you another chance.”

“Isn’t it messed up how I’m just dying to be him/her/them?”

"You've made a fool out of me, and I'm not going to forget it anytime soon."

"I trusted you with everything, and you let me down in the worst possible way."

“I’m going to kill you slowly and painfully.”

“How does he make you feel?”

"I'm not interested in your opinions or feelings, only your obedience."

"I hope you’re happy with your choices."

"After all the sacrifices I’ve made."

"You don’t appreciate anything I do."

"Look what you’re doing to us."

“I don’t care what you think.”

"Your arrogance and your ignorance are a dangerous combination."

"You've made a complete mess of everything and expect me to clean it up for you?!"

"I have had it up to here with your behavior!"

“This lifestyle isn’t for the faint of heart, darling.”

“You’ve been shot! Don’t tell me to calm down!”

“Is this more than you bargained for, huh?”

“Who the fuck are you to be insulting me in this way?”

“Where did all this blood come from?”

“Why are you interrupting me in a business meeting?”

“Do you need me to kill someone for you?”

“You better not miss; because if you do, you’ll regret it.”

"Don’t question my decisions."

"You have to ask my permission first."

“Do you enjoy killing people? Is it fun to you?”

“Do you really think it would be wise to get on my bad side?”

“You deliberately disobeyed me.”

“I should thank you…but it’d be more fun to kill you.”

“You should learn to control your temper.”

“Did you really assume you could lie to me and survive?”

“You don’t own me.”

“If I get my hands on you, you’re dead.”

“I can stay the night, y’know. if it’d make you feel better.”

“You should’ve told me this was going on. I would’ve put a stop to it the second I heard about it.”

“no one gets to treat you like that, you hear me? no one.”

“Either go to bed and get some rest willingly, or I will drag your ass down the hall kicking and screaming. you know I’ll have no problem with either option.”

“This place is dicey at the best of times. just take my hand until we’re clear of it, yeah?”

“Anyone touches you, says anything to you, so much as looks at you the wrong way- you come get me, and I’ll set them straight. understand?”

“I’m not jealous. I just know the intentions that someone like that has for you, even if you claim not to see them yourself.”

“Why did you kidnap me?”

“Do you lay eggs?”

“You’re nothing but a murderous beast!”

“So you’re not afraid of me?”

“What do you taste like?”

“I can smell the blood on you.”

“Quit it or I’ll bite.”

“Let me taste you again."

"Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?"

“Why are you dressed as a witch?”

“No prayers for the heartless.”

“Do you want to come with me to shower?”

"Why do you always insist on seeing the worst in people?"

“Put me down – okay, okay, fine fine! You win.”

“I don’t deserve you.” “Yes, you do.”

“I’m not moody, I’m thinking. Don’t interrupt.”

"You're not going to like what I have to ask of you."

[outrunningthedark]

Do you ever get tired of trying to stir up trouble ☠️ like embarrassing enough you trusted a “source” of Twitter without even confirming it was legit or not before spouting it off as fact and using it to spin theories only to have it revealed it’s just a fan who also trolled the fandom last season, once again trolling this season. For someone who complains about fans not using their brains ☠️☠️

and the reblogging of posts stating things like keep fandom separate from the actors, stop causing drama with ships, real people are off limits ( which I do agree with) however you say all of it As if you haven’t been and still are causing drama with shipping for the last week and a half, as if you weren’t dragging the R and C drama all over your blog the entire hiatus, as if you weren’t just making posts about R and O talking to Tommy’s actor about fandom and putting the idea out there about fans going and harassing him ☠️☠️ like the hypocrisy and the backtracking 🤯

You completely lost me after the "trying to stir up trouble", sorry. - It is not my problem that people who follow me or regularly check my blog to see what I'm saying (had no idea that was a thing, but okay!) took MY posts on MY blog about a hypothetical Buck story line and started spreading it around just so more people could do what you're doing right now. It's funny how I'm "one blogger with a theory" yet it's on everyone's mind. Maybe it wouldn't have caught on if y'all knew how to keep scrolling or stop looking, huh? You're still talking about me now. I know that much. - Who said I believed a twitter source? You? In your head? Those "sources" haven't said anything that I haven't already considered myself - not gonna be a good time come April? No shit. Buck and Eddie won't be any closer to canon and Eddie's probably in bed with Marisol. Both things I can figure out on my own without "insider info", thanks! - As for "real people are off limits", I think that's you twisting something you saw to fit your version of me that you've created because I obviously engage in gossip just like a lot of folks around here, but what I *don't* do is make my feelings on 9-1-1 or something IRL Ryan and Oliver's problem and tag them in shit because I think they actually care what I have to say. And as for the the exes debacle....you're actually making me look decent by admitting it was during hiatus (and more specifically, until sometime in October/November). I actually knew when to stop talking about it unlike those who question how often the woman has her kids because she doesn't post them, but then claiming she's trying to be a #mommyblogger when she does. Talk about flip-flopping. Okay. Go running back to your friends now. Bye!

[deviantartdramahub]

Not to kick a dead horse, but sense DADN's little minions are still desperately begging for the drama to stay alive, I decided a good way to push them further down the grave they've dug themselves is by pointing out something I've been thinking of talking about for a while.

So, yet another terrible thing about DADN is that they seem to support helicopter parenting. For example, remember when they urged me to talk all about Club to my mom, and then I made fun of them for it? Well maybe it's a genuine problem...

They seem to try to encourage kids to have no privacy, and think parents should be constantly looking at what their kids are doing. This is toxic for obvious reasons, bc of course parents should be doing their job to make sure their kids are safe, but there's a line between ensuring that and being, well, a helicopter parent. DADN crosses that line.

Me and other kids should be able to make friends on the internet without having to alert their parents EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. a new person interacts with them. They shouldn't have to tell the parents about every little detail about all the people they meet on the internet. Not only is this exhausting for kids to deal with while also denying them any privacy and freedom, but it also prevents any trust between the kid and all the friends they'll try to make, bc their friends won't be able to share anything without risking some other person knowing about it. The parents might judge said friends, or say rude things about them, and very possibly without a justified reason. There's also a chance a kid has bigoted parents, and by enabling said bigoted parents to helicopter their child, they'll never be able to achieve a safe space on there where they can find accepting people. imagine an LGBT kid wanting to block out the mental torture they deal with in their IRL family and find others like them, caring people who accept and understand them, and might even be in the same situation as them...or if a parent's just plain abusive in general and the kid wants to seek help or comfort from others, then people like YOU, DADN, step in and decide to push the kid to tell everything, or find a way for the parents to know about everything, and then the kid may be isolated, yelled at, having any source of comfort and happiness taken away, or may even be physically abused bc of any of it! You see where I'm getting at, right? Everyone HAS to see how damaging ALL OF THIS is, right??

I'm old enough to be on the websites I am, and my mom knows I talk to people, knows I have basic education of internet safety, knows I post art, ect, and that's good enough. She doesn't try to push more than what's required, bc she's an actual respectful mother. And I'm not gonna let you try to change anything about that. I may be lucky enough to have a mom like her, but there's HUNDREDS of kids who aren't. And allowing and encouraging their awful parents to helicopter those unfortunate children will do more harm than good at the end. I pray non of you ever have any children, I really do... -^-

And yes, I'm sure there's more examples than the one I provided, it's just I wanted to spend my effort on wording everything and providing all necessary points rather than remembering each example, the one I provided is good enough. Though if anyone would like to share more examples, that'd be lovely <3

That, combined with their antinatalism, makes it seem to some of us like they just hate kids.

[cipheramnesia]

I've always wanted to like horror. I always try to get into it? I've had friends all through life that love horror, especially movies. But i end up loving the time i spend watching it with friends more than I've ever enjoyed the content itself. And like i feel like I'm somehow failing to see it the way large parts of the population like yourself do? But i don't know how to enjoy the medium?

The hurtles I've identified so far are that when there's ableism involved i tend to check out fully. That's been a dead end. And when there's painfully illogical choices by the main characters (the ones that the audience are encouraged to connect with). I get it's a useful tool for plot and moving the story along, but any emotional connection that was built there is like nullified? Idk. Not sure how to see what other people see cuz it looks like fun for y'all

Got any advice?

First I'd say - maybe horror just isn't your thing? I love it, I don't expect everyone to love. I barely expect anyone that likes horror to like anything at all similar to what I like. It's a damn slog for me to find new horror I enjoy, even among the horror fandom, because so many of them want it all to be Insidious or Saw or whatever - which is fine but not interesting to me.

Ableism is a deep dive I need to spend time on, but short answer is - I haven't got a good answer here other than maybe steer clear of the "slasher" sub-genre where it seems most rampant.

I think the main item I want to dig into is whether or not horror in general is uniquely poor with ableism, or is it consistent with other media and singled out for other reasons. I have a suspicion that it's the latter, purely on the basis that it's common in generalizations like "horror has an ableism problem" where the reality is "society at large has an ableism problem" that the problem of the former is a reflection of the latter, rather than innate to the former.

But I don't know, Jason is a horror icon and earliest versions ain't too pretty from that perspective. Hard to equate the latter versions with ableism on accounta he is essentially a supernatural entity after a certain point and whatever, you get the idea. It's all complicated and takes time to unravel. However, all that to the side, it may help to consider if those movies in some way reflect something uniquely bad, or if it's instead more upsetting due to horror characters generally existing in upsetting or disturbing situations. Both can be true on a case by case basis - like the infamous "black guy dies first" problem, which STILL HAPPENS somehow even though it's a problem so widely known that it's cliche even as satire. I have some thoughts about that I'll write up sometime as well.

I'm thinking a way to approach it may be via Franklin, the wheelchair using character of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, who I believe is meant to illustrate the poor way disability is treated, confronting the audience with their own biases. That's a whole other long essay that needs a good deal more work. But I notice it, oh boy do I, especially in the beloved "80s movies," yikes. I enjoy much about them, but there was some... stuff.

Now, characters making stupid decisions I mean... that's just movies. That is literally all movies, characters make stupid decisions. I can't say that makes it better, but I can promise you the average bad character decision per horror, science fiction, Disney(tm), drama, romance, etc etc movie is going to average the same. On the other hand, if this happens in almost all the movies your friends watch, they might just have bad taste in horror.

The takeaway here is getting into horror is something you're probably gonna have to work at if you really want to make it happen. Check out reviews, trusted sources, see if you can find some novels or shows or movies that handle those specific issues well. You may find some trusted artists you can go to more consistently but it's probably going to require some screening. And then also - again - if you don't like horror, that's not a failing or bad or anything to stress over. Some people just don't like certain stuff. No big, live and learn, other fish in the sea, different strokes, all that jazz.

[darlingdeare]

closed starter for @nrthwest location: country club

The best part of the majority of her charity organization meetings being held at the country club rather than anywhere else was the convenient access to the bar when it all wrapped up. Not that Darlene had a drinking problem, no of course not, but who was she to deny herself of a martini or two after doing so much work for other people. She deserved to take a bit of time for herself as well, didn’t she? It was hard work, after all, giving so much of her time and energy to those in need. Or at least, that’s what she told herself every time she made her way from the conference hall to the main lounge. It was also an opportunity to socialize, quietly gaining the newest gossip of the happenings in society around her, always ensuring that nothing of her family’s turmoil was even revealed. Though there were a few people she allowed to know at least parts of the inner mess of her family, Priscilla Northwest being one of those lucky individuals. Not necessarily because she fully trusted the blonde to keep their secrets, Darlene knew better than to ever think that anyone in this social circle of hers could be fully trusted, but simply because she knew that Priscilla received her information straight from the source. Anything that she knew had been told to her by none other than Lilah herself. There was no way of controlling or even knowing what that girl said to her friend or how much the blonde knew - so Darlene made it a pointed effort to find out just how in the loop the woman was each time they met.

Which was why with a martini in hand, she made her way straight towards the couch that the younger woman was sitting upon, not caring whatsoever that she may be busy or waiting for someone. That was the greatest advantage of her age, no one could ever question her presence or company without risking coming across as disrespectful. “Hello dear,” she greets with a grin as she takes a spot right next to the blonde. “Oh, darling, it’s been far too long since you’ve been around. How have you been?” Before Priscilla even had a chance to actually answer her question, Darlene was already continuing on. “Everyone is still talking about your latest party and dear Pacifica and Finnick. What a wonderful match they are and how lucky they’ve been to find each other, it’s quite impressive, actually. You know I love my darling Tristan, he’s like a son to us, and I wouldn’t change anything about his and Lilah’s getting together… But sometimes, sometimes I wonder if it might not have been better to do what you’ve done. Just sat that girl down with a nice, respectable man and forced them together. Perhaps then we wouldn’t be in half of this mess, don’t you think?” It was a pointed speech, one that dropped the bomb that she knew the engagement between Priscilla’s daughter and the Finnigan boy was an arrangement rather than a choice the children had made themselves but also let her know that Darlene approved of that course of action. Hopefully showing her cards of knowing the Northwest’s secrets would get the blonde to open up about what she knew of the Tramp family’s drama as well.

[diredeliverance]

Big undirected Dark Urge thought ramble.

Dark Urge (non-Bhaalist, at least) is one of those things where I think my feelings about the parts (or part) I dislike are often overwhelmingly colored by a desire for it to be a story that I suspect thematically it was never meant to be... I think that's always a kind of good check when you're really into something, "did this disappoint you because of the version you made up in your brain or did it actually fail to achieve its goals." I really don't like the "Bhaalspawn no more" end even if I can appreciate the drama of the scene. It feels cheap and frustrating to actually be magically "cured" of this part of your character that has formed the central struggle of this storyline. But that is supposed to be built on the back of this Persona 3 "you went out and immersed yourself in the world" thing that I do think tracks with how I experienced Kas, and from that perspective there actually isn't anything wrong with this "you've become independent despite being seen as diminished for it, and now that you've been rejected, you are free" thing. It flows well enough with themes of identity formation and the DUrge backstory of having an identity founded on pleasing their father.

But despite that what I may have found most enthralling about DUrge was this possibly unintentional allegory of mental illness, where you're managing intrusive thoughts, voices in your head, terrible internal putdowns, blackouts, and this total lack of certainty that you will ever know yourself the way people around you can known themselves. And when you try to tell other people, they don't believe you. They don't believe you, or their non-dismissal is bundled up in the idea that surely a better doctor will just fix you forever. There must be a cleric who can magic it all away so you aren't Like This anymore. It feels like your companions really just don't want to talk about it when it becomes uncomfortable or actually real. Their reactions become about their own discomfort rather than your need for support, and that can make you see yourself as especially dangerous and the act of confiding as an act of harm. Other NPCs dismiss you as a liar or a joker, or attempt to take advantage of you. I remember Halsin responding to the earnest confession of amnesia by implying that Kasander was intentionally withholding information from him to spite him. Over the course of acts 1 and 2 I slowly went from trying to be honest with everyone to seek support to being more calculated with what I was showing because I knew I couldn't trust the party with my experiences, and that was one of the most viscerally real experiences I've ever had in a game. Like damn discussing symptoms that negatively impact other people can be Exactly like that lmao. Or ones that just sound weird to them. And having Jaheira be the first person to listen and actually believe without making the conversation about what a problem you had become to her was just as emotional as the real experience. And I really, truly have no idea how much of this was meant to track like that and how much was just a well crafted piece of speculative supernatural fantasy.

At any rate, it does make the "and I'll never have urges again" end of DUrge feel like a slap in the face when you're in this Sauce. It was so fulfilling to be able to acknowledge and understand the source of DUrge's symptoms and to have the seeds of a reliable support network with Jaheira and Minsc, and I loved that foundation for moving in a direction of "this is a part of you that can't be wished away and you have to live with without any assurance that it will end, but you'll still be okay and you can still decide what direction your life will take and have people in it who love you." Tragic that it is a fantasy game and the actual narrative resolution when you aren't lost in the sauce actually is "it can be wished away and now you and everyone around you is safe from it forever." I think it's a kind of underwhelming finale no matter what but so much of my personal disappointment did just come from being reminded what game I was actually playing.

[angelicyouth]

bro i just realized that most of my happinest comes from imagining myself in fictional scenarios with fictional characters because in the real world i dont really have anyone i feel i can truly trust, so really at this point one of my only sources of happiness is just being somewhat delusional thinking fictional people care about me when in reality i dont know if anyone will truly even care about me in that extent, i dont even think i could even love myself the way i want people to love me because i just see myself as a generally displeasing person to be around because im too much too bear or too confusing or too angry and people dont wanna put up with me and ive just been realizng that for the past months and it makes me wish i was someone else who could be better than whoever i am, i dont even know at this point who i really am and i wish i was better and funnier and not someone who is the embodiment of a dissapointment.i cant even bring myself to talk about my problems to people irl no matter how much id like to because im too scared to be a burden or just seem overexaggrerating so its eating me from the inside and i cant bring myself to be someone i want to be, all i do is just stay in my room all day because i dont have the energy to do anything anymore. thing that i used to like dont seem the same anymore and i just wanna be held by someone and to be told that its okay to not be okay but if someone actually did it would feel like just a big lie because i dont have that much of an excuse to not be okay so really im putting down other people's problems and looking for attention and i feel so guilty for even feeling this way but at the same time i dont wanna let go of these feelings because it feels like if i have them people will actually care about me and ill have someone by my side and if i dont feel sad then nobody would have any reason to pity me and nobody would really wanna hangout with me anymore and it feels so comflicting and it makes me wanna shut myself away from everyone and continue to pretend everything is okay even if nothing feels okay. i wish i was someone else, maybe then nothing like this would happen.

that one relatable moment where you have nobody 2 vent 2 so you vent as an anon 2 a random blog ran by the literal nicest person ever

-mango anon

mango bby :(

first of all—i’m proud of you for being honest with your feelings! i’m sure it took a lot of courage to come forward and to talk about this with someone else so please give yourself some self care in my place for taking that monumental step!

i know that it may not mean much if i say this because of how overused this line is but truly, don’t ever feel bad about what you’re feeling. always remember that the need for attention is normal and common to all humans. it’s not only limited to that but the need for comfort is also normal and common, the need for physical touch is normal, the need for validation, for acknowledgment, for a positive reaction to yourself, a need to express yourself, to talk about yourself, to voice your pain, to feel valued and important—it’s all normal and a part of just being a human being.

so please, don’t beat yourself up over having those. if you’re struggling with some of them particularly, it doesn’t mean you’re “needy”. anyone who doesn’t get those things would go to deprivation mode and end up craving them severely, eventually. those needs should be met at default and as your friend, i always want to ensure that i can readily provide those for you! so don’t feel ashamed for voicing those thoughts to me because i appreciate that you trust me enough to tell me as i genuinely want to help you. i know i may seem like a random blog run by someone you don’t know from the internet but that doesn’t mean my friendship for you is less valid. so please, if you ever need to talk to someone or just need me to listen then always remember that i’m here for you. because how else would i know what to help you with if it’s not said?

and i know that you feel delusional for seeking comfort from fictional characters but that’s simply not true. because personally, through my own writing, what these people say or do are essentially extensions of the authors who use them in their literature. so whenever craig and kenny talk to reader in youth, they’re not just baseless things that are said just cause for the plot. they’re actual words with real meaning and intent to whoever is reading their dialogue. so with that in mind, what they both have said is their words of affirmation and reassurance to you:

feelings aren’t illogical. they aren’t wrong nor are they here for no reason. they aren’t a failure of self control, they aren’t a burden, and they are not an inconvenience. emotions are generated from actual things that happened, they are normal reactions to things that actually happened!! if you feel sad, anxious, hurt, overwhelmed, mad, frustrated—even if it seems illogical, there’s a very good reason you feel this way. you aren’t supposed to control how you feel, you aren’t supposed to doubt your emotions. they are always just a reaction, they do not come from you!! they’re not your failure, feeling all this is normal and logical under unbearable circumstances of anything that’s happened.

i hope you will be kinder to yourself babe, you deserve it :< it makes me so, so upset when you can’t see how amazing you are in my eyes and i bet everyone else’s just because of some mistakes you made along the way or any ill feelings you harbor for yourself. i really wish you didn’t beat yourself up so much over them, those mistakes or whatever negative things that have happened don’t define you.

and remember: you’re not stuck the way you are now. every day you have the potential to grow and to learn, and you do grow and learn, all the time! it may not feel like it because it’s so subtle, but you do. the universe won’t let you get stuck, there is so much more to discover and i’ll always be here with you along the way! it’s inevitable to make mistakes, it’s human nature and wouldn’t make sense to be perfect on the get-go. no one is like that. just remember, progress can’t be compared. progress is still progress and slow + steady will still win the race! as long as you’re not changing yourself to cater to someone else’s needs or society’s standards then i will always support your desire to strive for the best version of yourself!!♡