#just let me have my opinion
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Can you believe I'm having to make this meme even after successfully finishing up taxes and applying to job
#adhd#autism#Dad: Don't worry little man it's super simple! Just let me - the figure you seek support from - tell you to not be afraid#and then - stay with me here! - juuuuuust do it!#voila. my job is done you're welcome have fun doing all the research and figuring out without issue now <3 no problem#(and no of course I won't acknowledge your previous adulting accomplishments bc that's just expected stuff anyway)#||#vent#i guess? man#i don't have opinions or feelings on the internet often but man
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ENG PLAYERS I BESEECH YOU
I have been informed that you guys are getting part 4 of episode 7 tomorrow, which means we are FINALLY going to get the official romanization of Revaan's name, somebody please tell me because I need to know what it is.
like, yes, it's probably just Revan/Levan, but look, I'm sitting here with my finger over the button of all these Laverne and Shirley jokes and just waiting for the opportunity to deploy them --
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#(not me realizing that meleanor doesn't actually appear non-silhouetted until part 5 so uhhhhh. whoops.)#(i know a bunch of you read the spoiler-tagged stuff though so i'm putting my life in your hands)#revan would be the funniest one i think because it's just raven but with the vowels switched and i'd be over here going WHAT COULD IT MEAN#anyway i'm here to give the people what they crave and it's obviously references to 70s american sitcoms that spun off of happy days#mork and grimdy. i-is that anything.#the problem of course is now that i might have to actually come up with a bunch of laverne and shirley jokes#when i haven't...actually watched it in a million years#(my personal pool of media i consumed growing up is a good 60% made up of random things i found to watch at 3 am because of insomnia)#(this probably explains a lot about me) (the opinions about zorro adaptations anyway)#hold on let me marathon all eight seasons and -- wait i'm just now finding out there was also an animated series#in which they joined the army and their sergeant was a literal cartoon pig but also they went to space and fought giant gorillas?#but how does boo boo kitty factor into this
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Corlys and Rhaenys at their daughter's wake, with their grandchildren. DO NOT REPOST.
#someone send me an ask to rant about the juxtaposition of corlys and rhaenys at their daughter's wake#and how it perfectly represents and underlines the divergence these two are having in respect to legacy#which leads onto their opposing positions in regards to succession#like there are so many similarities with these two snippets of a scene#and they're all but back to back#like both rhaenys and corlys are grandparents comforting a grandchild#they both lower themselves down to be face to face with them#but yeah... someone just send me an ask#and let me know your opinion on these little scenes as well!#hotdedit#my gifs#rhaenys targaryen#eve best#corlys velaryon#steve toussaint#house of the dragon#rhaenys x corlys#rhaena targaryen#lucerys velaryon#harvey sadler#eva ossei gerning
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Wait you guys are actually buying Disney products I thought it was a joke
(READ TAGS FOR FULL CONTEXT Sorry it’s long dies
#Honestly I’m only bothered bc I feel partially responsible (WTF EGOMANIAC OVER HERE)#I know I can’t control other people’s spending habits and my own habits are. Less than ideal !!#But when I wanted to spread my love for Wreck it Ralph I didn’t want people to get that takeaway 😔#IMPORTANT NOTE ‼️It’s okay to express your love for something through buying official things !!! That DOESN’T make you a “bad person” !!!#Still ! I think we have to let ourselves feel bothered by things and we need to be more critical of exploitative companies#Of course I chose to watch inside out 2 with my mom in theaters so I’m not immune lmao. Also using amazon / Etsy … just as a whole#But if you need help finding Disney movies without supporting them please just ask me!! PLEASE don’t use Disney+ if you can avoid it#I know we are all capable of finding our fulfillment from better places. But sometimes it’s hard#Capitalism sucks and yet that’s how we are endlessly pressured to live :(#We’re all at different points in our lives. Sometimes self care involves consumerism#Be hopeful that it someday won’t have to#Txt#again I’m sorry if this comes off as horribly egotistical to even consider being single-handedly responsible for#Social media is bad …. numbers bad…. Distorts reality and your perception of yourself…..#Or as me trying to guilt trip people in any way. Genuinely do what makes you happy but WE CAN BE HAPPIER & HEALTHIER I KNOW WE CAN#Wreck it ralph#Rant#Also sorry I have huge beef with streaming services I don’t mean to enforce that on other people but also. Sharing my opinion
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus#but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it#and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book#Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE#though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for
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every time i watch anything with him in it (admittingly, predominantly from the Dropout app), i am reminded that Lou Wilson is the most handsome man to have ever lived. like, objectively. he just is. i will hear no arguments for any other person to be ranked higher. Lou Wilson: whose face single-handedly shows humanity can go no higher in beauty. he is THE most attractive man in the world. argue with the wall lmao
#lou wilson#dimension 20#dropout#game changer#i feel compelled to mention this comes from (a) me having had this opinion 5ever and needing it published as i rewatch Neverafter#and (b) that i am on aroace spectrum (im a demi-bi/pan-romantic asexual. mouthful. ugh) so like#the ''hot tingling'' feelings y'all alloromantic-allosexuals get? i dont get those. i feel like this somehow equips me to be#objective while y'all have subjectively biased preferences. dont ask me questions about this flimsy defense. im so objective. all the time#(if you need a tone indicator here: im being sarcastic and joking. i know my queerness does not make me objective. but let me joke about#this because i feel like i am SO RIGHT ABOUT HOW GODDAMN ATTRACTIVE LOU WILSON IS. PUT THIS MAN'S IMAGE IN MUSEUMS TO LAST FOREVERMORE)#how can a man still be hot after voicing Pinocchio. idk. ask Lou Wilson the most beautiful man to ever exist#he's just so stylish and pretty and funny and he has a great smile. A++. put him on the cover of magazines#my post#mine
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You know I had to do it to 'em too
Bonus:
EDIT, 2024-4-5:
If this gets to 213 notes before 4-13 I will personally redraw this earlier than planned.
#homestuck#homestuck fanart#fanart#grimdorks#GRIMDORKS SWEEP#somebody told me that one on discord#thank you person that made my day#john egbert#rose lalonde#lets be honest#john has nerd rizz#its like a coinflip#either the hottest thing you have ever heard#or its the corniest shit known to mankind#i mean both would work on some people (cough) rose (hack cough)#but yeah that was my point here#thanks for reading the tags i guess#i appreciate it#:)#wait also#forgot to add but the man is oblivious to said rizz#he just says shit. guns blazing. with his full chest#makes for very fun dynamics in my opinion#this is probably the most tags i have ever added to a post in my life#i had a lot to say apparently
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i keep coming back to 'i was a functioning alcoholic til nobody noticed my new aesthetic' because i do distinctly remember conversations about how taylor seemed to be drinking a lot more and getting drunk at like every awards show she went to. and those conversations were coming from a place of concern and of hoping that she was alright and that this wasn't a problem.
so to then say 'ugh i can't believe no one noticed this problem i had' when i know that people definitely did, and on the same album say that fans who are genuinely concerned about a new relationship that you are in are just 'bitching and moaning'? what do you want from them? you're talking about so many people who do at least believe that they are coming from a place of care and concern, and you are totally dismissing them on both ends of a scale!
not to mention that her implying that since nobody (???) was noticing her ~aesthetic~ drinking problem she just stopped having it is a bit of a kick in the teeth to people who do have drinking problems and can't just stop having them, since that's not how it fucking works.
#today on things about this album that make me want to scrEAM#just the word aesthetic even being in that sentence. please stop.#i think my cynicism has just been brewing for like a whole year at this point and i finally have something to let it out on#maybe even over a year. i have been saying since the tour was announced that she should do tour and finish the rereleases during it#thats the end of eras. the tour the rerecords all finished.#and then take a break. a proper break with no anything going on.#and then take the time to make a solid new album to be released in say 2025/26#obviously this did not happen lol#okay imma use anti tags i don't want the swifties coming for me but. these opinions are important to me and i wanted to voice them.#cannot guarentee that i will not have more to say on this matter at a later time#anti taylor swift#anti ttpd#mae posts#tw drinking#tw alcohol#tw alcoholism
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did someone actually hate on your fave? or did they neutrally attribute a trait to them that you've unnecessarily negatively moralized and you hurt own feelings about it? or, perhaps, did you project too hard and now interpret even mild critique or simple acknowledgement of interesting character flaws as an ad hominem attack on yourself?
#like I'm sorry but. as an essek stan. skill issue.#ngl I'm more inclined to block someone going 'essek is baby who has never done anything wrong in his life and he should be exonerated'#than someone going 'essek is a horrible criminal and he should die'#the first is like 'incorrect. even his partner does not hold this opinion.'#the second is like 'depending on your tone it's possible you have a point. let's talk it out and see if you do'#I myself have also had my fave formally executed on occasion. for kicks and angst. 😌#actually laughing this reminded me of a one-shot post live show that I never finished where caleb and essek basically have this conversatio#I should actually finish and post that#anyway this is not that serious it's just constantly on my mind on this hellsite
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Chip not having a gaping hole in his chest post-death is the hill i will die on, actually. I am on my hands and knees. Please I am begging yall. He does Not have a hole in his chest where his heart was thats Not how he died guys I'm begging yall (<- guy at the end of their rope /dramatic)
#GUYS PLEASE THE THUMBNAIL WAS A VISUAL METAPHOR#THE 'HOLE IN HIS CHEST' IS FROM THE DIVINE SHOWER THAT SLOUGHED HIS FLESH OFF HIS BONES#A WHOLE SIDE OF HIS RIBS UP HIS CHEST WAS EXPOSED BECAUSE OF THE SHOWER#BUT HE DOES NOT HAVE A GAPING HOLE IN HIS CHEST FROM HIS DEATH#HIS HEART WAS NOT RIPPED OUT THROUGH HIS CHEST AND IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME RELISTEN TO IT#BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU IN MY OPINION HIS HEART BEING TORN OUT THROUGH HIS MOUTH IS MORE HORRIFYING#AND ALSO COOLER TO ME#BUT ALSO ITS CANON AND THATS MORE IMPORTANT TO ME#PLEASE IM ON MY HANDS AND KNEES GUYS PLEASE THE THUMBNAIL FOR 109 WAS NOT BEING LITERAL#IT WAS A METAPHOR FOR THE HUNT FOR THE HOLE IN THE SEA KILLING HIM#PLEASEEEEEEE#cough. anyway. sorry i am just. gripping canon so tightly desperate for canon-compliant undead chip art and struggling to find it#im normal again carry on#unless you want to talk to me about this then my dms and asks are open i love talking about undead chip#jrwi riptide#jrwi chip#just roll with it#just roll with it riptide#jrwiblr#dragons chatting
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no joke but what I really want for Buddy Daddies as a fandom is to make fanart and fanfic post present time ep12 where Rei wears an arm orthosis when working.
I think varied disability aids being represented would be fantastic, and personally would write Rei as someone being deeply proud of something he's done for his family, but also understanding with time that using an orthosis also helps him at work and in raising Miri. with a giant portion of mobility/motorics aids being represented by prosthetics, seeing more variety and exploring it in fiction would also help making a step in normalising disability treatments.
#that's my personal opinion and i just thought about how understanding more about physical disabilities#and how to help people with those aids in case something happens and they ask for help#has furthered my understanding and might even help me in the future if i were ever to experience that#Buddy Daddies Spoilers#Buddy Daddies#Suwa Rei#(again. i want to write Kurusu Rei SO BAD)#text post#Varya rambles#also drawing an orthosis would be real complicated for an animated work so i understand why they chose to hide the arm#but i really like the headcanon of Rei using it sparingly 🥺 not everyone uses them all the time#+ it's also not healthy if worn all the time. looking @ people who'd let their characters sleep with their prostheis on. smh#and this is also NOT a 'you HAVE to do this'! just something I think would be fantastic#...also I'm like. apparently looking @ a start of a fic where Rei uses it?? is my writer's block finally over?!#here's a hoping 🙏buddy daddies such a good anime. not perfect not extremely beautiful. but GOOD in HEART#1k
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(breathing into a paper bag) FRALIO....
can't believe they gave us another guy. oh my god. so I guess Kelka is more, uhhh, more OOO then, and Fralio is Ankh? not that it matters too much, although they do seem to be doing something with the connected Riders so. who knows. anything goes! or if I may, anything gOOOes! god. of course they're the Ambition parallel. of course they are. oh my god.
fortunately there's nothing else they can throw at me right now that could possibly --
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#OKAY i am caught up through show my cards so i feel more confident about going into main story part 2#unless there's some absolutely wacky lore thrown into the fun rollerblades event WHO KNOWS AT THIS POINT#extra excited for these guys now! can't wait to meet them properly :D#gosh though i am so afraid for jou in part 2#he's grown on me so much and i can't help but think getting backstory so soon is an ominous sign#especially for a wisdom guy i mean COME ON#i'm getting kiriya vibes and i don't like where this is heading#on the one hand if they legit kill off a character in their joseimuke gacha game...i mean. respect.#but also i want jou to be okay :(#i want everyone to be okay except maybe taiten because what is even going on with him#me yesterday: oh i don't think he's straight-up evil :) now let me just finish up the space event...#taiten: let's talk about plan DOMINATE PLANET#damnit taiten#tangentially i do think it would be EXTREMELY funny if the whole soun thing was a fakeout and murakumo was just some other dude entirely#soun's soft spot for uryuu and dislike for taiten is entirely coincidental#(probably based around the fact that taiten is INCREDIBLY evil) (or is he) (i mean yes)#he's multilayered he doesn't need a narrative reason to have opinions about other characters what are you his MOM
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Ok time to yap about Billy Loomis. What is bros sexuality?
Billy is 100% gay. I also think that he’s on the aromantic/asexual spectrum, with the best label fitting him being demiaroace. In simple terms, I think the only way he feels authentic romantic/sexual attraction is when he has a very deep emotional, (whether he likes to admit that or not), bond with someone.
People often like to bring up his romantic relationship with Sidney and his sexual affairs with other women, one of which we have proof of in the later movies. Because he was dating Sidney before his mom even left, and they were known to have started off “hot and heavy”, (as Billy likes to call it), he didn’t really have any reason to be doing that. Or did he?!
It goes without being said that Billy is a conventionally attractive white male in the ‘90s. In the movie, we already see Billy’s efforts to appear as normal as possible, wearing bland clothes with little room for interpretation and speaking very little to others. Which leads to why Billyboy was sleeping with girls when he was a big fat QUEER!! …
Billy loves control! He loves it, he loves planning everything out and acting it out like it’s a movie because of his dumb special interest. He loves predictability, he loves feeling normal, and he loves having control over people. What better way to feel in control, (perhaps of his own sexuality), than by sleeping with and casually dating girls!! It makes so much sense.
How does Stu play into this?
Well firstly Stu is Billy’s only real friend. Through subtext we can tell that Billy trusts Stu a lot, considering he trusted him to 1. Call Sidney while he was in jail. 2. Be ghostface with him and have him not tell anyone. 3. Literally fucking stab him… The list goes on. People like to say that Stu didn’t know Billy’s real motive too, which is fucking stupid because why wouldn’t Billy tell him this?? One entire year between murdering Sidney’s mother and then eventually attempting to murder her and all her friends, and you’re telling me Stu wouldn’t have suspected a thing? Just for fun?? Yeah right!
Also people try to say “okay, well then why did Billy stab him so much in the kitchen if he wasn’t trying to kill him”? Firstly it was always part of the plan for Stu and Billy to be the only survivors because only one survivor is extremely suspicious. Secondly you can tell he was just not thinking clearly, he acted on his anger and lost focus of his goal (KILLING SIDNEY??NOT HIS BF??) which is something he NEVER DOES!!
Man,, the whole final act is my favorite, because it really shows both Billy and Stu coming apart and quite literally COMING OUT as the killers. Come on guys. Media. Fucking. Literacy. They literally penetrate each other right in front of Billy’s girlfriend, and that shit was freaky as fuck.
ANYway I’m going off on a tangent. I do wanna talk about why Billy didn’t explicitly say anything about being gay when he so very obviously is. Billy, in all areas, is much less obvious than Stu.
He’s closed off, secretive, keeps up a pretty believable facade to everyone until the finally is able to drop the act. It makes sense he isn’t as physically or verbally affectionate with Stu, and for this reason people are more inclined to believe Stu is gay and in love with Billy more than Billy is gay and in love with him. Well, in order to get a good sense of Billy’s relationship with Stu, you have to look deeper. Let’s start with some things from the script, since there are very few scenes with the two interacting.
Stu and Billy, in the script, are best friends, have known each other since kindergarten, and are partners in crime. Billy obviously is capable of forming strong bonds and connections with very specific people. Even unhealthily so, and we see this in the relationship he has with his mother. He idolizes her, victimizes her, makes her more than she was as a coping mechanism and never officially comes to terms with the fact his mom probably wasn’t as great as he remembers. And when his mom leaves, he breaks, needs control (as stated previously) because his life is suddenly unstable and who does he turn to? Stu!
Also I just wanna say when Stu drapes over his back Billy leans into him okay thanks. Body language in this movie means SO FUCKING MUCH TO ME these actors did amazing. When Billy follows Sidney inside the look of CONTEMPT ON HIS FACE!! The way he looks through his eyelashes. The acting is impeccable Skeety, I love you!!!! 😐😐 Also the way Billy looks at Stu before stabbing himmm…He;s in love I promise. In whatever way he knows how
Lastly the boy has autism
Passionate interests, he loves horror movies and constantly references them throughout the film. Even at unconventional times, like when his girlfriend is venting about her dead mother. Eye contact and too much staring. Meltdowns when overstimulated. The whole last act was just him stimming and destroying shit because stuff didn’t go his way. Bad reactions when plans are interrupted. At the staircase when Sid runs away he punches himself in frustration. Talks with hands in Sidney’s room about The Exorcist. Favorite person/people (his mom and Stu). Extremely overdramatic. When he got fake stabbed. When he falls down the fucking stairs for no reason. Finally, just socially awkward. Any word out of his mouth makes people uneasy. Ez
…Finally for Billy I js wanna say he arches it a lot and I think only someone who takes it like a good boy wpu;ld do that Ok im done by.e
LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE BANGERS LIKE THIS ONE
#might say more later#if u have any comments#PLEASE TELL ME#if u have any questions#on my opinion#PLS LET ME KNOW#PLS TALK TO MEEE#i might do stu idk#i just felt like yapping abot billy#my brain is so full#of useless information#scream 1996#stuilly#me#billy loomis#silly#character analysis#gay#stu x billy#billy x stu#stu macher#scream#yapping#digital footprint is on its way to me#stupid gay twink#i hate this fa#got#dont take seriously#but also do#writing
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I’ve been highly confused as to why Michael “deeply openly thirsting on Twitter about David Tennant for half a decade” Sheen is half-in half-out the closet but apparently Wales is absurdly homophobic lmao what the fuck how is a country the size of New Jersey that much of a hater bruh we out number the shit out of you
#i thought googling ‘how to say gay’ in welsh would be funny but it just made me sad#i knew the uk in general had a problem with trans people but WOW it’s fucked up in wales like. there are 8 of you what are you doing#i feel bad now lmao#wales#my weird welsh hyperfixation has taken me places let me tell you#cymru#homophobia#gay#lgbt#lgbtqia#good omens#bbc staged#michael sheen#i thought he was just ‘oh i’m quiet about my personal life’ but that’s not even true like my man’s probably actually scared#what a fuckass country lmao awesome#uk politics#united kingdom#david tennant#what is it with this tiny ass island taking over the world and being shitty lmao and this is coming from an american#bisexual#<- bisexual gang gang feel bad you fuckin haters lol#yes the whole world is homophobic i know etc but it’s like outrageously bad out there apparently#stay mad that i think nationalism is dumb ‘how dare you ever have an opinion you american’#you’re white you are not going to like where the power + privilege argument inevitably goes
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I think it's interesting to look at the 'Mr. Bridgerton' scene as a backdrop for the eventual mirror scene. Firstly, in the fact that I think we've kind of misinterpreted it.
So many people are of the mind that scene's purpose to 'drag' Colin, but really, that scene has 3 primary functions. The first is to inform Colin that Penelope is aware of what he said of her, thus opening the door to clearing the air between them and providing an avenue for which Colin can apologize. The second is to establish the ground that they are currently on: Penelope has given up on the dream of Colin Bridgerton, in particular the perfect prince that can do no wrong, and has made it clear to him. It also creates distance between them that they will bridge.
But the third, and to me the most wrapped up in the mirror and the inner workings of their relationship is that it reveals how Penelope feels about *herself*. It's not necessarily an echo of what the ton considers her as, after all, we have a lot of evidence indicating that, for all intents and purpose, people aren't *unkind* about her, but rather that they ignore her. Audience members recognize this as Penelope's own shyness being the cause, she is often sitting off on the sidelines or not really talking to much of anyone, in the books she's referred to as the 'one who doesn't speak', and her LW business takes her away from being a character in the action of the ton to a bystander, kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts that perpetuates itself. Pen felt unseen so she became LW to have some power, but then LW herself must remain unseen and Penelope continues to be by design of her own making.
No, I think what it really reveals is that Penelope has incredibly low personal self esteem. We as a fandom has lauded that scene as her dragging Colin, saying that he's cruel and calling him Mr. Bridgerton is absolutely meant to create distance between them, but I don't think she's dragging him.
Because the person she is *actually* dragging here. . .is herself. And it is a general theme in her life. In Whistledown. Aloud. Even with Marina, when she complimented her, she assumes that she's lying. When Edwina says she's wearing a pretty dress, Penelope puts herself down and doesn't believe her, even when the compliment is genuine. In truth, Portia is not seen as being particularly unkind to Penelope. At least, speaking as someone who's mum was *awful* about my size and weight and outfits, Portia is. . .overall rather mild. She's not KIND and loving, not by a long shot, but she's also not targeting Penelope only. She's plenty mean and critical to Prudence, too, even to the point where she foists her off to her own cousin as a pawn piece. Penelope has low self esteem because of a lot of reasons, she's bullied by Cressida (I think a lot of girls are, she was pretty mean even to Daphne in S1) and her family isn't very tender to her, and she's not being pursued at every turn, but part of it is also her own perpetuation.
Listen to what she says "Of course you would never court me" "I embarrass you" "I am the laughingstock of the the ton". She sees *herself* as an embarrassment. She puts *herself* down. Arguably, more so than the ton does. She's meaner to herself than anyone else is, aside from Cressida. And honestly? Looking at Colin's face there. . .he is HURT that she considers herself this way. That she's projecting that onto him. Yes, he's hurt that he hurt her, of course he is, he never wants to hurt her. And yes, he's ashamed that he said he wouldn't court her the way he did and that in doing so, he validated her fears that she is unloved and unwanted, but also because. . .she already feels that way about herself. She's felt that way for years. And it's painful to care about someone, to see them as wonderful, and realize. . .they don't feel the same about themselves at all. I don't think Colin is out here feeling so wounded over the fact that she called him cruel and won't refer to him by first name anymore, but that he's most hurt by what she says about herself.
Because he *doesn't* see her the way she accuses. She says she never expected him of all people to be so cruel, but he feels the same way. He never expected her to be so cruel to *herself*. He wants to go somewhere private, not because she is an embarrassment, but because he wants to have a private conversation with her. Maybe assure her. Maybe explain himself. Maybe hash it out. But god Luke Newton's acting. . .he is *aching* for her. And it feels like he's going to do those lessons not in atonement for what he said (thank god) but to genuinely help his friend who thinks badly of herself. To lift her up. It's not about him at all, not about earning forgiveness, but about elevating Penelope. And that's. . .fuck, I just find that's just so heart stoppingly beautiful.
You can see, in that scene, how much he cares about her. How deeply and genuinely he adores her as a person. And just how painful it is for him to know he has validated, whether on purpose or otherwise, how poorly she feels about herself. How low her self-confidence really is. She is giving him a glimpse into the cracks of her heart, and when he sees them, he wants to reach out with both hands and make it feel better. Make her feel better.
After she says 'even when I change my entire wardrobe', he looks so fucking crushed. So 'don't say that'. So 'you really believe that?'. So 'God, I hate that you think that way'.
Because regardless of it all, he does love her. It's not romantic yet. It's not sexual yet. But he genuinely, truly, from the bottom of his heart, thinks she's wonderful. That was evident even in the 'purpose' scene. Every time Penelope opens up and reveals a facet of herself, he likes it. He likes her barbs and her dreams, he likes talking to her. He likes her. And he feels awful that he hurt her. And he feels awful that she's hurting herself. He loves her. He wants her to love herself.
And that's where the mirror scene comes in. Because the mirror scene isn't about sex, not really. Not entirely, at least. The mirror scene is about *intimacy*. The mirror scene is about being seen. Not just her seeing him, or him seeing her, but for Penelope to see *herself*. In a way, through his eyes. Because hers are biased rather negatively toward herself, which is evidenced in the 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene, and in so many little moments we've already gotten where she's literally looking down on herself, feeling down. She doesn't necessarily *like* what's in the mirror, but he does. Because he likes *her*. And he wants to show her that he does. Show her that he finds her beautiful and have her recognize that in herself.
The 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene is about Penelope revealing how she sees herself. The mirror scene is about Colin showing her how *he* sees her. The Goodnight scene is about Penelope thinking she means nothing to him, that he thinks of her the way she thinks of herself, that this is how everyone thinks of her, and the mirror scene is a direct response to that: No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't think she's embarrassing. No, he doesn't think she's a laughingstock. No, he doesn't think she's unappealing. And he doesn't think she should, either.
And he's going to show her that. Not just tell her, but show her. The mirror scene is so often a focus on Penelope, so much of Polin is in Penelope's focus, but approaching it from Colin's perspective and his motivations is so fulfilling, too. It's a glimpse into them in conversation, and a demonstrate of how Colin loves her. How Colin loves in general, openly and earnestly and altruistically. How he encourages her to be braver and more confident in herself, bolstering her because he just likes her *that much*. How he finds the most fulfillment and satisfaction in caring aloud. The mirror scene is a demonstration of his heart in reflection.
When Luke Newton said the first word that came to mind with the word 'Mirror' was 'Exposed', he doesn't just mean physically. He means emotionally, too.
God this couple is so fucking good.
#polin#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#Bridgerton#i love them#but honestly? i think i read too deeply into them#this is the only post about them i'll keep up#but after everything i've seen in this fandom and the promos and the synopsis- i don't think these two are friends#and i think i have given them more nuance and depth than they actually will get#and so i guess they're my dream#this version of them#the version of them that loves each other deeply and sees one another and has tenderness for each other#but everyone else in the fandom was right- we won't get this#we will get penelope needing external validation through the ton's opinion and we won't get colin being a full character#we will get a story based on suffering and holding scorecards against each other#we will get groveling and cold shoulders and drama in place of real growth#i suppose it's just sad for me#because i read so much of what i've thought of these two and i *see* the love i have for them#but bton and this fandom don't have that same love#so i have to let go of that dream#and that's for the best#but as a memento: have this#i've written a lot of love letters to this pairing- consider this one of them
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i fear i’m not as horny as some of you… what if i just want them to keep doing their weird not-doing anything forever. what if it was enough for me that they remain by each other’s side for the rest of time. what then
#i’m sorry i wish i was#i can enjoy the occasional smut fic but it’s their canon dynamic that i crave more of#the way they are with each other in show is crazier than if they just had sex#to me!!#(vine lady voice) that’s my opinion!!!#but i have NOTHING but respect and love in my heart for those of u who do crave the sex !!!!!!!#let people do what they want 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️#i love each and every one of u#xoxo#wincest#gencest#weirdcest#my post
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