#just kinda based on ‘i want to draw lots’ and what the application process was like

[piesa2]

im always in between not considering myself a comic artist and then also when i do make a comic im like wow i love comics

[alexswak]

Production Assistants and the Production Side

A while ago a manual on the job of a Production Assistant (制作進行) was published by the Association of Japanese Animation (AJA), defining what this job is and what it entails, so I thought this is a good opportunity to talk about it and the production department in general. It’s not that interesting of a job to be honest, but I think talking about production assistants is important considering the essential role they play in the anime industry, and the production department is involved in really every step of the process. This post is mainly based on the aforementioned report, although you can find a lot of what I’m going to write here through other sources, and I generally recommend reading the manual if you can.

The main 3 roles in the production department are production assistants, Production Desk (デスク) and Producers (プロデューサー). Production assistants are considered the lowest ranking among them so let’s start there.

Production Assistants (制作進行)

Simply put it’s the person responsible for making sure that the production of a single episode is going smoothly. That means among others checking that every process is moving according to the schedule put by the Desk. Production assistants don’t handle whole projects or TV series, just single episodes, with multiple production assistants in rotation during a TV series, which helps the production assistant understand and learn all the details of every step in the process since he is more directly involved in it this way. This is important for the future career of a production assistant.

As for his/her main tasks, they include: Communication between the different departments, preparing meetings (such as a meeting between the director and the animators), transporting and preparing production materials and a lot of other organizational tasks. Hundreds of people are involved in each single episode, so there has to be someone to act as a link between all of them, which also means that production assistants need good communication skills. Transporting production materials, such storyboards and drawings, is also a vital task, since the industry is far from being all digital and time is critical, and a lot of creators are freelancers working from home. All of those “simple” tasks are absolutely necessary for the industry to function properly.

Production assistants’ work starts before production, since one of the first things he has to do is search for the remaining staff the director needs, mostly animators. Not an easy task considering the scarcity of animators in the industry, and it only gets worse when one animator has to drop out mid-production for one reason or another, and the production assistant has to find a replacement as soon as possible. You hear stories about production assistants resorting to asking sakuga fans online if they knew any animators available.

It’s also said that during the early days of TV anime and till the 80s it was even harder, because aside from the scarcity that was present even then you had the “rivalry” between the two largest anime studio at the time, Mushi Pro and Toei Doga, which led to two factions emerging in the industry that don’t cooperate with each other. Mushi Pro is said to have paid animators more than Toei, causing some talents to leave Toei, and there was the thing with Otsuka leaving Toei too, so there may have been some real “competition” to secure animators back then. Toshio Okada (while I don’t like him, you can’t deny his experience and insider-knowledge) said in a recent video of his it was so fierce production assistants actually raced each other just like the opening scene of Shirobako, explaining the scene that I found a bit weird myself, if we were to believe what Okada said at least. He also mentioned a rumor he heard back when he first joined the industry, talking about how Sunrise, after receiving hundreds of job applications driven by Gundam’s success, made applicants run a marathon carrying a box filled with paper, and hired who came first. Some of this might be exaggerated, but it holds some at least truth I think. Okada’s video is interesting and I’d recommend myself, he provides some interesting comments sometimes.

Anyway, back on topic. One more thing to mention about the production assistant role is how it acts as training for new people in the industry. It’s widely known that the anime industry lacks most forms of training institutions or anything of that kind, and it also mostly doesn’t require a certain degree or level of education to join, so most of learning the ropes is done by actually working. The position of a production assistant is an important “training job”, not only because it gives you a good overview of the whole process, but also because it allows for a lot of possible future prospects for the production assistant. A production assistant can decide to become a director, producer, scenario writer and many more. In fact, a lot of the popular anime directors started as production assistants, such as Yuzuru Tachikawa (Deca Dence - Mob Psycho 100) and Tomohiko Itou (SAO). Animators in comparison have less flexible career prospects. Sure things get mixed up in the industry and there’s no general rules, but it’s at least rare for animators to become producers for example.

This sadly leads to devaluing the position of production assistants (despite their essential role in the process) even to the point of dehumanization. It might not be as bad as with in-betweeners, but that’s not that high of a bar really, and they still get some of the lowest salaries in the industry, without a work environment suitable for you to continue working as a production assistant even if you wanted to. It’s not a job that affords you a liveable wage, and the mentality in the industry is that this isn’t a stable job, but a sort of trial period you have to succeed in. Even the aforementioned manual treats it as such. Anime fans are also kinda guilty of the same, you see all the sakuga fans praising a single animator for a single scene for hours, yet a bad animator may ruin a single scene, while a bad production assistant may ruin the whole episode. I mean, it is hard to blame anyone for not getting excited for the job of a production assistant or what they do, but that’s just the sad reality of their position in the industry.

Source

Production Desk (デスク)

It’s the person responsible for the schedule of the whole show and oversees the work of all the production assistants. There’s usually only one Desk in each project. It’s the next step of the ladder if the production assistant decides to take the production career route, and generally isn’t much different than a production assistant in what he does, just with more responsibilities and wider scope. The Desk may also get involved in choosing/finding animation and episode directors, which highly influences the quality and look of the episode.

Producers (プロデュサー)

It’s generally the top position in the production department. The main supervisor for the whole project and the person involved in all the business talks and the likes between the different companies involved, as each company in the production committee is represented by one of its producers, including the animation studio. Anime is a medium that combines creativity and business, so a good understanding of both the creative process and business is necessary. 

There are multiple types of producers, the most common among them being:

Line Producer (ラインプロデューサー): Responsible for maintaining the production “line”, as in communicating with the different companies involved such as the backgrounds studio, recording studio and animation studio etc, facilitating the work among them. 

Animation/Creative Producer(アニメーションプロデューサー/クリエイティブプロデューサー): Responsible for the production process itself and the quality and direction of the project, and sometimes gets the chance to starts projects based on his own ideas and vision.

Business Producer(ビジネスプロデューサー): Responsible for stuff like contracts, monetization, merch etc.

One producer might fill multiple of these roles, and some of them have the production assistants or Desk involved, so as always the borders between each role aren’t as clear and defined as you might think. It’s funny that despite involving this large number of people in management roles, all responsible for drafting schedules and maintaining them, the anime industry and its schedules are still a mess.

That’s all I have for this post, and I again recommend reading the whole manual if you can. It goes over the production process in detail, providing among other things the most detailed flow-chart of the anime production process I have seen.

[dabistits]

while reading your posts, i always feel that you’re really well rounded and good at character analysis and just articulating your feelings and opinions towards stories in general. it’s something that i’m trying to get better at, and something that i admire you for, so i was wondering if you had any pointers or tips regarding developing analysis skills? thank you!

first of all, thank you so much!!😭😭 i’m so glad you enjoy my stuff and it gives me a lot of joy to know that this, like, inspires people or w/e fkdkgkf

i’m putting everything below a cut bcs it’s long as fuck and kind of disorganized. i wrote some parts half-asleep, so they might be rambly or stating the obvious or whatever, but you know, pick and choose what’s helpful to you! this probably isn’t exhaustive (and i kinda focused in on the ‘character analysis’ part, bcs otherwise there’s… so much), and if anything’s unclear or if you want more elaboration on sth just let me know!

the basics:

write!! it doesn’t matter what you write, it can meta, fanfic, rp, whatever, but as long as you write about this character you’ll be forced to articulate your thoughts; by extension that means you’ll have to gather evidence and make a convincing case for your portrayal. even if you’re writing fic or rp i think you should have a strong reference of where your characterization is coming from - i used to rp at places that required applications, so that would force me to think about my character’s personality and put it into words. i think most people are helped by the actual process of writing itself also, so don’t let lack of confidence stop you if you’re someone who tends to do that: you might wind up happier with your ideas after having written something than before (and you can aaalways edit).

read!! read other people’s analyses, not necessarily just about the character you have in mind, but about other characters, other stories, other genres, etc. what kinds of things do they point out to support their argument? what patterns are they picking up on? do you agree/disagree? what’s a new thought they’ve introduced to you? what are things they do that you particularly like? can you replicate that idea/technique in your own reading? there are so many times when i’ve read another person’s analysis and made a note to be more aware of [a certain thing] in the future, so that’s what helps me change and build and incorporate new stuff into the way i think about stories.

try to keep an ongoing chronicle of your thoughts. this could 100% be a personal thing, but i actually started to think and absorb a lot more (especially about small things) after i started this blog. being here meant that not only was i keeping up with chapter releases bcs of other fans, but i was also regularly writing about my impressions. reading and discussing chapter by chapter forced me to read & process everything in smaller increments, which let me take in more details, and gave more time for my thoughts and feelings to develop. in contrast, when i binge-read, i actually miss a lot of details and a lot of finer points of the storyline because i’m just trying to get from one plot point to the next.

stick close to canon. this is definitely subjective, but since this is also partially about how i approach character interpretation, i’ll toss this in. i personally don’t stray too far from what’s shown to me in-text, and i revisit canon a lot to establish a “baseline” characterization rather than building off of my own headcanons. this has pros and cons: for example, i feel like i don’t overstate things compared to their canon importance, and i feel like i don’t get too carried away with embellishing character traits; however, it also holds me back from theorizing unless there’s a ton of evidence in front of me, and i can be overcautious when it comes to approaching narrative hints. sometimes i do talk about my headcanons, but even then i usually point out whether or not it’s substantiated, because i do think the line between headcanon and canon gets muddled a lot in fandom discussion.

think about a character’s role in the story. so, we know stories have plots, a start and an end, and messages and themes. all characters function within that framework, they advance us from point a to point b, the carry the moral of the story. i think these are aspects that are important to include in your character analysis; while sure, there’s already plenty to analyse about the LOV as self-contained characters, but they also seem more important, more interesting, and more complex when you take them into the context of the larger story (how and why their relationships are built, what they mean as a part of man vs society conflict, etc.). not only does it inform you about the character (what the author is trying to say through them, what direction the author might push them in), it can also tell you a lot about the overall structure and themes of the story itself.

authors include everything for a reason. when you’re creating something from scratch, you have to actively decide what you include. the way someone’s room looks doesn’t necessarily mean anything in the grand scheme of things, but the author decided to design their room that way based off something—most likely a character’s interests, tastes, and preferences. while mina’s dorm room looking a certain way might not mean she has an old-fashioned personality, it can maybe tell you that she has a more retro taste and aesthetic. this can apply to “big” things too, like one of tomura’s severed hands still surviving the chaos. hori chose to have it survive rather than be decayed like everything else, so of course the question is why?

… but they are imperfect. creators also do make choices out of plot convenience, because of their own biases, or sometimes they just forget (as hori has done before, such as twice duplicating himiko in the overhaul arc and then saying he doesn’t know her measurements for the mla arc). so it can sometimes also be assumed that a detail was included/excluded because of something on the creator’s end, rather than because of it necessarily being symbolic or important to the characters (e.g. a character not being able to make it to a fight might be because their skills are too useful and could resolve the plot too easily, not because them getting sidetracked is important in itself; a female character losing a fight she should have won could be an issue of the creator’s misogyny). so these are aspects you can keep in mind as well when you’re evaluating characterization!

tendencies i see people fall into:

don’t take everything characters say at face value. characters can and do lie. they can be sarcastic. they can be manipulative. they can be deluding themselves. they can even be mistaken! there’s a reason why they’re expressing themselves that way, and sometimes you can gain more by actually investigating that contradiction rather than just assuming they mean what they say.

allow characters to change! they will change in canon, so don’t be too beholden to their early characterization if you’re trying to analyze or write them from a later point in the timeline. again, this seems intuitive, but i see a lot of people who still appear to draw on tomura’s early character portrayal by making him irritable towards the LOV, but he’s much more recently allowed himself to be physically pushed around by some of them without really reacting in any way.

embrace subtlety. a lot of people in their fanfic just see one aspect of a character and blow it up to make it their only characterization. like, tomura is irritable, himiko is obsessed with blood, any villain can be written as a sadistic killer hellbent on annihilation, etc. while having a couple personality traits come through strongly can help the character have a unique personality and voice, too much will make them appear one-note. it’s just as important to recognize moments when characters are being calm and focused and articulate, as much as their most dramatic moments. for example, a lot of writers don’t seem to notice that tomura doesn’t snap at his allies, tends to answer their questions evenly, and never lashes out at them; that’s because these moments are very understated in the manga. hori doesn’t point a huge arrow at them, and he shouldn’t have to! it’s one of those very subtle ways to show a character’s growth. so, pay attention to those moments, and pay attention to what’s not being done as much as what is.

[imuybemovoko]

So I just read an article that talked about brainwashing techniques employed in POW camps in North Korea. (It’s linked here.)

I’m inclined to take this article with a slight grain of salt, but there’s something very eerily familiar about the ten steps it lists for brainwashing. It reminds me quite a damn bit of the way your more fundamentalist churches will tell you to share the gospel. I’m going to take a quick run through them and show what I mean. For reasons I’ll explain as “about half shitty site design and about half trauma” I’m having a hell of a time finding specific examples of what I’m talking about here because it involves navigating confusingly executed ministry websites crammed with the exact shit that spent a childhood and five more recent years breaking me. For that reason I’ll make a shitty gospel tract in paint.net with a slide or two to illustrate each point. I’ll probably be annoyingly close to the real thing. Trigger warning here. If this is going to bring something up that you’re not ready to deal with, please do not read any further. 

With that in mind, what would our shitty gospel tract be without some kind of eye-catching title? I’ll take more of a Jack Chick kind of approach to formatting here; Ray Comfort has also been known to make terrible comics following a vaguely similar pattern and typically with far less diverse plots. (Hate-reading Chick tracts is honestly oddly fun sometimes because of the variety and the absolute over-the-top fearmongering about entirely innocent aspects of life and culture.) I’m shooting for a bit of parody energy, so for a title let’s go with:

God’s Blast Furnace Because that seems like the exact kind of cursed energy we should be going for here. I’ll go for a 2x1 aspect ratio here because that also seems pretty typical.

Chick tracts like... usually include people terrified by either God or the flames of hell. I chose the latter. The idea is as much fear factor as you can shove into one tiny page. If you think I’m exaggerating, prepare to be disappointed. Ray Comfort and a lot of campus ministry resources take a less... “in your face” approach to the hellfire bit, but they’ll make damn sure to mention it and how much it’s going to suck to be burned forever. But this is a parody, so if it’s somehow possible to be more over the top than Chick, that’s the goal here.

1. Assault on identity.  In most evangelism guides I remember, one of the first things you’re supposed to mention is that God created the earth and humans and wants us to worship him. Finding specific examples would be a bit of a mindfuck for me because this shit is honestly kinda triggering, but they have a strong tendency towards heavily focusing this in the beginning of their approach. A simple scroll through Chick.com’s tract inventory or, if you can find it, this kind of resource on other sites will show that this assault on identity is extremely important in their approach. Since our parody tract is going to include all of these steps (this is a common but far from universal approach; Ray Comfort tends to include them all but Chick will hyperfocus one or two in every piece of literature), let’s make the first page. The idea here is that they’re saying “you are not who you think you are”. If someone tries to tell you that you’re created by a god rather than a product of evolution, this is their true message. They’ll even mask-off this one, saying “these people think they’re accidental descendants of apes, they’re denying that they were created by God”. So for our parody, let’s do exactly that. I’ll introduce two characters, one Christian and one dreaded “other”, and I won’t bother giving them names; in the real industry, approaches vary. Chick typically gives names, Comfort typically doesn’t. They also tend to grossly caricature unbelievers, so I’ll do that too. I’m going for the “tiny graphic novel” approach here, so I’ll make a panel.

Notice how 1. the unbelievers are presented as strawmen, 2. the Christian is presented as totally normal and even wholesome, 3. he presents this like it’s a self-evident truth, and 4. the response by he unbelievers is angry denial. This is very common and based on prevailing perspectives about unbelievers. You’ll notice an approach quite like this in movies like God’s Not Dead as well, where they make a caricature of Christians that’s way tamer than they present in real life (the kid in God’s Not Dead is super vanilla and a lot of Christians are at best passive-aggressive about it) and a caricature of unbelievers, particularly atheists (they have the most problem with atheists for some reason) that’s straight up aggressive and hostile. In Chick’s tracts, sometimes they wear shirts not that different from the shittily-drawn ones I put on these two unbelievers. I also tried to give the one a mohawk, though the perspective probably isn’t that good. 

Some literature you’ll find in the wild takes a much more detailed approach to this, attacking established scientific facts such as evolution, but others simply present the creation narrative or something akin to it as self-evident and move on. I’ll take the second approach here to save space. Thus, having our unbelievers respond with “how dare you” fits even better because there’s a strong tendency for Christians to think they’re challenging the entire worldview of unbelievers (again, particularly atheists) by even presenting this “fact”. This sets us up perfectly for point 2. 

2. Guilt. In the evangelical view, and in these evangelism resources online, a combination of guilt and fear is very important. Point 2 of the ten in the article is summed up as “you are bad” in the paragraph detailing it; in these forms of Christianity, and very strongly in evangelism techniques, this should be summed up more like “not only are you bad, but the consequences for that are going to be unending and extreme when you die”. This is the strength of the hell narrative in a sentence. On someone who believes it or can be led to believe it, the impact is profoundly damaging. In every “properly-done” evangelism, it is included. Jack Chick goes fucking mental with this narrative and it features in most of his work with vivid pictures of fearful people being yeeted into the flames after pleading for their lives. Ray Comfort also hammers this point fairly hard, framing it as a natural consequence of a life not lived for Jesus and using a metaphor likening death to a long fall and his message to a parachute. In our tract let’s take a mixed approach. Our Christian will yoink Comfort’s parachute metaphor and, much later, we’ll show one of our unbelievers being Chicked. More on that later. 

I’ve started to establish a dichotomy of a type that Chick often uses here where he shows one person getting saved and one getting yeeted into hellfire. “lol sex is epic” is going to dig his heels in like the scary atheist and “there is no god” is going to have his world absolutely rocked by this news. Also, a common caricature is that unbelievers haven’t heard the hellfire bit before. "there is no god” gets this treatment while “lol sex is epic” digs in and gets mad. (It seems to me that the reader is likely meant to find this fitting because he’s the one with the mohawk.) Chick might draw shadowy demons around “lol sex is epic” here, but he doesn’t in every case. Also, note that I’ve brought our title, “God’s blast furnace”, into it here. “there is no god” is walking right into step 3 here. 

3. Self-betrayal. The trick here is to get you to agree that you’re bad. You don’t necessarily have to agree to the hellfire thing; Comfort doesn’t hit that very hard during this phase of a conversation. His approach, which I’ll more or less emulate here, is to get the person to admit that they’ve lied about anything at all, stolen anything at all, or had any lustful thought at all (and, with the latter, referencing Matthew 5:28). Most humans have done at least two of these things at least once (some don’t steal and some are asexual, and there’s most likely overlap, but I feel confident in saying literally everyone lies at least about minor things from time to time), so once he has the confession, Comfort will catastrophise it with a line like “ok so that makes you a lying thieving adulterer in heart” and then pressure the person into answering whether a “just God” will call them innocent or guilty based on this standard. Many people say “guilty” here, as desired. (He paints the ones who say “innocent” or question the standard as dishonest when he makes videos of this.) With guilt thus established, he then asks whether this means a person goes to heaven or to hell. Again, in a typical conversation, the other person answers that this means hell. Ray has triumphed in this moment, because whether he says it or not, the connection is made in the person’s mind that as one guilty of these “sins”, they are bad and deserving of hellfire. So, for our tract, let’s have “there is no god” ask some questions and learn just how “dire” this is from our Christian, a la Ray Comfort. 

“there is no god” betrays himself; “lol sex is epic” stays mad. 

In evangelism, at least in Ray Comfort’s approach, step 3 most often comes in tandem with a lite version of the compulsion to confession, step 6. I’ve condensed this process a bit to fit it into a single panel. “there is no god” now proceeds into step 4. 

4. Breaking point. “there is no god” is now in the trap. This has him questioning everything about himself, his life, and the world. I’ll change his facial expression for the next few panels to illustrate the change. In real life, it takes a lot of repetition, scare tactics and/or other abuse, application during childhood or a moment of great weakness, or a combination of more than one of these to get this done. Since these tracts are a caricature of reality, this is always shown as a fast process. The fast process is also seen as normative because of the belief that God is self-evident, but I am aware of almost no Christians who had this kind of shift because of a single conversation. To my knowledge, this is a months- to years-long process even in most cases of childhood indoctrination. In any case, the victim reaches a point where their view of the world has begun to shatter around them. Or, as the article puts it, asking “who am I, where am I, what am I supposed to do?” We’ll have “there is no god” ask this latter question and add an interjection from “lol sex is epic” to add weight to this. 

“lol sex is epic” gets mad again and says something that many Evangelicals caricature as a common saying of unbelievers, particularly atheists, and progressive Christians (who they have mad beef with for a variety of reasons. Like, I genuinely think they hate progressive Christians more than atheists sometimes). This shows that, in the evangelist’s eyes, “lol sex is epic” has missed the point. Meanwhile, “there is no god” has arrived right at that breaking point, questioning his moral character and asking desperately if there’s a solution to this problem. Our Christian is right there to provide an answer. 

5. Leniency.  Our Christian is going to give “there is no god” the out he’s looking for, declaring that God has given him a solution in the form of Jesus Christ. To show the remaining steps I’ll separate a few things out more than tracts often do. Let’s have a bit more rage from “lol sex is epic” and, for now, have him leave the scene because his use as a character is over until the “and then they both died” bit.

“lol sex is epic” is now gone. Meanwhile, our evangelist has a captive audience for the other steps of this process. 

At this point I’m going to list a couple of steps for each panel because I’m not completely sure how to parse it out the way I’ve been doing thus far. In my perception of this, I tend to view these more easily as far fewer steps. I’ll probably draw this as two or three panels, followed by one where “there is no god” is happy about the decision he’s made. (And wearing a new shirt.)

6. Compulsion to Confession.  Part of the process of salvation is a confession. The fledgling Christian must admit to their status as a sinner and their need of a savior, often in prayer but sometimes also in person to an evangelist or spiritual mentor. This is framed as a relief, a part of casting one’s burdens onto Christ or, as the article puts it, “ the target is faced with the contrast between the guilt and pain of identity assault and the sudden relief of leniency. The target may feel a desire to reciprocate the kindness offered to him, and at this point, the agent may present the possibility of confession as a means to relieving guilt and pain.” The person has been carrying a “lifetime of sin” and a “guilty conscience” and is now letting it all go for the first time. The Catholic church goes absolutely nuts with this, institutionalizing regular confessions. “there is no god” will be presented with a call to confess to Christ. 

7-8. Channeling of guilt; releasing of guilt. The groundwork for this was already laid in the beginning; I forgot to include that part in this tract, but many evangelists will touch on their beliefs about the beginning of the world and the fall of Adam. Thus, they establish the concept of an in-born nature towards sin in all humans. They can give this concept to their target in the form of framing sin as an inherited curse that they can’t avoid having, but isn’t their fault (their actions are but the curse isn’t) and thus can be considered the source of all their “evil” motivations and actions. In this process, a lifestyle of sin is what they channel their guilt into, saying, “I feel bad because I’ve been living this way and not believing in Jesus!” Then, they can use this curse of sin to say, “it’s not me, it’s my bad nature.” Thus, this sense of guilt is channeled and released. This is repentance described in a paragraph. 

9. Progress and harmony.  At this point, the target is encouraged to choose Jesus and the abuse and negativity will stop. They must now make an active and conscious choice towards belief. The fears of hell will be abated. (At least for now).

10. Final confession and rebirth. Evangelicals go full mask off with this, touting a “born again experience” as proof of someone who is truly Christian. Often, the previous several steps are confessed in what’s called the “sinner’s prayer”. I’ll paste it below for a full explanation before I draw the panels for this. At the end, the person invites Jesus into their lives and grants him lordship over their life, then thanks God for this occurrence. This is the end of this process, though the church behaves in ways that reinforce every step of this. You know, for maintenance.  The sinner’s prayer, in one of its several, similar forms: “Dear Lord, I’m a sinner. Please forgive me. Come into my life and cleans me of my unbelief. I believe in you and in salvation through the blood of Jesus. I turn from sin and trust in Jesus alone as my Savior. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”

Here we see the Christian offering the solution and the broad outline of the sinner’s prayer. Also, “there is no god” is greatly relieved. I’ll make one panel of him doing the sinner’s prayer, then we’ll touch on the “after they both die” thing. Our Christian character is also disposable and this, in this case, is his final appearance.

Here he is getting saved. (His shirt changes alongside this.) And, of course, he ends this with a desire to go tell literally everyone about this. That’s normative in evangelical circles too.

After this, we’re back to more fearmongering, this time involving a dichotomy meant to imply hope, as I yoink a page right out of Chick’s playbook for a couple more panels. 

Here we see a (shittily-executed) great white throne with our Christianized “there is no god” and our angry unbeliever standing before it. The circumstances of their deaths are outlined (fuck you Jack Chick that’s a creepy vibe) and their condition now is clearly explained. Notice how “lol sex is epic” is still angry. But not for long...

The mask drops:

They never portray Jesus putting it exactly like this but this is the kind of energy, at least it’s how it comes across to me when I read these after deconverting. Tracts tend to give a more detailed reaction to the “but I was good” and “give me a chance” things if their damned victims say these things. They assert that deeds aren’t enough and no one is good. Convenient for brainwashing, there’s also an artificial sense of urgency in that this life is listed as your only chance to accept this message and avoid having your flesh boil away before your eyes over and over again for all of time. 

Chick is a big fan of showing the damned being dragged or frogmarched to the pit by angels. 

And here, mohawk man gets the big yeet. 

After this, particularly if they take the Chick approach and include the hell yeet scene and/or the thing at the throne of judgement, they’ll tend to have some questions like this:

Again, parody. They’re not this goddamn on the nose with it.

I could translate this entire thing in one image:

So this has been a painful little look at what goes into a gospel tract/the brainwashing inherent to the gospel message as understood by fundies/evangelicals.

I hate that I used to think this way and unironically tell people this kind of shit. It’s manipulative and stupid, and also deeply cringey. If you’ve read this far, I’m sorry/congratulations. 

Oh, and one final thought: People who don’t generally do this with tracts use verbal, often shorter, versions of the exact same process. CRU reduces it to five points in their resources (and this is a common approach): something like 1. God made the world, 2. we screwed things up and deserve the big yeet, 3. but Jesus makes a way to fix this shit, 4. He died on a cross and rose from the dead so we could be saved, 5. so believe in him and live forever in a realm that doesn’t have to be filled with fire all the fucking time. They’ll tell you to do something involving counting on your hand while explaining this shit. It’s goddamned cursed, and you’ll notice it goes through the exact process I mentioned above. It literally intends to break you down and mold a new person out of the shards and ashes this produces.

Evangelists are assholes. 

[cse6441-blog]

Week 7 Evening Lecture

PSA

Something Awesome is due TOMORROW before the evening lecture

MAJOR YIKES

Presentation: Bug Bounties

Started off with a Kahoot which was kind of strange. I was coming first, but the last question tripped me up. I thought we simply send them an email like Richard alluded to in the morning lecture, but apparently we should make a report and submit it. It was really unexpected I guess because they tested us before even doing the presentation (kinda counter-intuitive).

Anyway it was a nice and simple presentation that covered a few of the basics with getting started being a bug hunter. The example they showed was on a real website (HackerOne), where big companies like Tesla posted their applications for hackers to test and find bugs. It was good since they outlined the key features of the spec.

For example, Tesla clearly outlines specific things that they do not want reported like Social Engineering attacks, phishing, etc. In addition, there is information about the payouts they give and what kind of information (source code, etc) they provide to start finding bugs. All these things were considered ‘in scope’ meaning that there were specific things they wanted people to be looking at. However, there were also other things that they outlined as ‘out of scope’ so that hackers wouldn’t waste their time looking at other things.

Getting Started Tips

Learn web application principles

Look for assets that have changed recently; Reddit /r/tesla posts the software updates and patch notes (find bugs there)

Look for publicly disclosed reports

Fuzzing (covered by @theslazarus) Fuzzing is a useful bug testing process in which you can run automated tests that cover a range of possible cases. This is a lot more streamlined than manual testing and writing your own cases, because this generates all the possible inputs and interactions a user could use with your software and allows you to analyse it for any unexpected behaviour.

Fuzzers come in all different shapes and sizes, but generally fall into two main categories:

Mutation-based

Generation-based

We can use fuzzers to trace different types of bugs. In the example, @theslazarus​ showed how he used a fuzzer to test for heartbleed in different C programs. A good tip he gave was to follow tutorials online on how to utilise these and go on Github and test other people’s programs to see what bugs they have.

Crapple Bug (How to get root on a Mac) So apparently as your Mac is starting up, if you hold down Apple + S, you are able to get root access into the system. This occurs if you HAVEN’T ENCRYPTED YOUR HARD DISK but it’s strange as to why this is even a thing in the first place. However it does go to show that once someone gains access to the hardware, they have access to EVERYTHING.

Presentation: Pen Testing

Pen testing is an authorised simulation attack usually done in a sandbox to evaluate certain security risks. It is usually performed for companies in order to identify vulnerabilities and strengths that exist in their infrastructure.

For example, if you sent a ninja to break into your own house.

The ninja is the pen-tester

Your house is the system

Stages of Pen Testing

Recon

Planning

Exploitation

Post-Exploitation

Establish persistence

Establishing persistence I think is a really critical point. A hacker may break into your system at one point but remain dormant for a long period of time, or create some way to get back in (backdoor). This way they can plan certain attacks once they know they have access and execute this easily.

Demonstration The demonstration was quite nice where the presenters utilised Kali (gives you root access to everything) and hacker tools like Metasploit and Gobuster to analyse and brute force into servers. They attacked a system they set up on Wordpress and tried to login into ‘admin’. Although the password they entered was wrong, Wordpress indicated that the password for ‘admin’ was incorrect, giving out the information that there actually was an administrative account called ‘admin’. Lo and behold, the password to that account was indeed admin. For establishing persistence, the demonstrator installed a plugin he wrote himself that allowed him to create a shell and get back into the server (shell scripting).

Kahoot Was an interesting kahoot. I won which was cool got a s/o from Bucky.

Back2Lecture: Homework

Richard gave us more homework to do ahhhhhhhhh. It’s not compulsory, but I am interested in these things and do want to research them but I’m so busy and it just keeps piling on and on there’s so much stuff he wants us to do and then it’ll be assessable just you wait. Anyway here’s what he wants us to look up (it’s in the notes; https://www.openlearning.com/courses/securityengineering19t2/notes/slides07/)

Find out about current state of biometrics

Read about transport for NSW idea of using Facial Recognition rather than opal cards (case study)

Read about san fransisco ban on biometrics

Read about University research allegedly helping Chinese security forces to track and detain Uyghur citizens in Xinjian, China

Think about ways you can use facial recognition (China)

Diffie-Hellman does not give Authentication

One thing to note about Diffie-Hellman is that it’s NOT giving us AUTHENTICATION, because we aren’t verifying the identity of who we’re communicating with. DH only guarantees that only the parties have the shared secret (the key) which is CONFIDENTIALITY. So even if you are doing a key-exchange with someone across the world, you don’t actually know if it is the person who says they are who they say they are lol.

Blind Computers

Drawing back from last week’s lecture, Richard reminded us how Computers are just like someone who lives in a dark jail cell, separate from the real world. A computer doesn’t “understand context” or “identify things” the way that humans do. Computers are machines that are simply processing 1s and 0s.

Computers don’t understand things like we do. If you asked it to verify the identity of someone through a photo, it would simply be taking that image’s binary encoding and doing a bit-wise comparison. So in the instance that a it can do a comparison accurately, it is because the computer is PRE-LOADED with that information. It can only do a comparison if it has something it compare the input with. In this case, the pre-loaded information would be the stored binary information of a picture of the person’s face. However even with that, and no connection to the outside world, the computer still has to make a decision whether or not that person is who they say they are. And that decision is VERY HARD with what they understand and what they’re given. In the end, it comes down to the shared secret that is helping them make that decision.

[gg-astrology]

what’s the process like for your idol readings? other then ordering them by major placements, when you write the descriptions down, do you put them down based on intuition/what you know/interpret the placement as or do you find yourself referencing back to books, articles etc too?

Hey there! 💕💕Hmmm well think about it like, every astrologer is an interpretator and a cartographer/marker. The cartographer/marker part is looking at a natal chart --- and knowing/learning how to scratch a mark on it, pin-point and explain what it means and where it is, drawing significance to it. 

Interpretation part is working hands-on aboard a ship. You’re a navigator who uses the star to guide you, you draw the marks and pin-point/log your co-ordinates. But you also have to keep track of which directions to go during a storm -- if something happens and you’re off-course. What to do with circumstances outside of the map as well.  

The two works together, if you use too much interpretation/intuition you’ll be pulling things out of your ass that works against your accuracy/basics. You’re biased towards yourself, unfair towards the the logic/rational of the study (corruption even if it wasn’t meant to be that way). 

If you use too much guidelines/markers you can fall prey to stereotypes, one-dimensional black-or-whites and ‘missing the complexity’ mark as well. You fail to see or understand how it affects other’s life, how to be truly efficient and not a black-board of information that lacks application of knowledge. 

It’s a lose-lose situation if you don’t balance both together, and yeah it sucks but it’s good to remember that you can grow, evolve and it comes with practice?    

So with idol readings -- usually you don’t have birthtimes. It’s like the Captain saying ‘we want to go here, here and here’ and you have to make it work somehow. You have a responsibility here to be as accurate as possible with what little co-ordinates you’re given. 

So then (for me) -- what do we have? The placements, aspects. These things can change depending on the time, but you can log the parameters of those changes as well (24 hour period hopefully). 

You work as accurate as possible (as a cartographer) in between those parameters. Same frame-work, same basic guides. For me, the key thing here is that the ship doesn’t have the route plotted out and thus -- it travels between two points all the time. 

Scorpio Mars can manifest in a lot more ways because we don’t have all the co-ordinates. If it’s aspected--- we know it’s relations -- relative to the space of another planet/sign. It’s about delineation essentially, keeping an eye on things until everything works out.

Does this?? answer the question at all lmaosdkjan let me make it better

For idol readings (or no birth time readings) I’m just kind of aware of how many different ways it can go? It fucks with accuracy (sadly) since it doesn’t always immediately apply to the person specifically -- but on the other hand, you can make up for it by hitting all the marks that would speak to other Scorpio Mars as well.

Key things that are in the middle, this still require you to look at the basics/guidelines for it (so it’s a good idea to have books/articles opened and ready)   --- you can also focus it on what else the person has (relative to their other planet/signs) as well.

For me, I kind of just go ‘okay we’re doing this idol today’ -- get all their placements down. And then start with whatever I have a firmer grasp on in terms of basics -> applied signs. Go back to basics -- the guidelines are there for a reason. If all I have to work with are the signs in placements. Then I’ll focus on the signs in placements and their guidelines, my interpretation is the part that takes that to a higher level instead. 

(Think of the lowest common denominator -- what do you have? This birthtime or that birthtime, what shifts and what stays the ‘core’ of it? If that helps) 

The more you can elevate the sign to more than just their basics, their higher potential/level and their inner-workers. It’s also  a testament to your own study, guide-interpretation balance as well? 

The more you can explain the process of working, the more you can help themselves and other people understand them better and humanize them as well (kinda like.. there’s no ‘good’ or ‘bad’? Morality is subjective and depends on what we as a society decides to condemn and praise sometimes. It’s --hhh complicated but y know what i mean) 

Every signs have different components to them, right? So when you have two people, no birth time, but with the same sign -- how do you talk about them without repeating yourself?

What else is in their chart, do they have different decans? What rules over their Sun, do they have a system down below their surface/what they show that we can touch on (inner working)

Y know.. kinda like those who are born on the same day as an idol. Or people who have twins who’s older/younger by a few minutes. 

You can have person A who’s born on the same day as an idol -- same placements. But the way they are, and the way the idol is seems ‘different’.This isn’t a competition on who’s more developed on what than others, who’s the ‘better half’ or who’s working on something better than others. That’s just human perceptions, and we’re going beyond that. 

What we’re trying to do is hold their hand and pull them towards touching their own co-ordinates ( like ‘here, this is yours. This is how you work with it.’) Everyone thinks they’re different, everyone thinks they’re the same/project themselves onto others. It’s a part of how we work -- but it’s also a good idea to separate that sometimes as well and just see/observe it as it is.

Signs in placements aren’t inherently good or bad, they’re just signs in placements. You having the same sign/placement as someone else doesn’t mean yours is better or theirs better (further in the race than the other). That’s all the human stuff we place on them -- they’re just signs in placements, and what we’re trying to do is just explain the signs in placements.   

Idols who have the same sign in placements -- doesn’t always show the same traits of the sign as each other (manifest/project). Then again -- they’re just signs in placements. Go deeper into that, find the denominator. The humanized version/process of things. You can make your interpretation rich without repeating yourself, it’s how you do it/where you’re at as well.

Anyways... i HOPE this is a good answer to ur question?? 💕💕I hope I didn’t repeat myself too much or anything. I don’t know why it’s so long either.... but I hope it’s understandable ;;💕💕💕 Thank you for asking!! 💕💕

[eirikrjs]

Hey! I want to preface this by saying I have enormous respect for the degree of serious engagement and academic-grade analysis you apply to the topic of visual design as it relates to myth in media, whether concerning SMT or otherwise. I might have differing opinions on a lot of the more divisive subjects of discussion (Notably - i’m head over heels for Amemiya and Nirasawa’s work and also don’t mind the encroaching tokusatsu influence in much of SMT’s current/future output) but I feel like those divisions are a source of more discussion in your work rather than something that generates antagonism (snark aside). On that note, I wanted to say that after reading the Odin article (Which is pretty much a thesis btw good job) I wanted to pose the question: Is there intrinsic value in drawing exclusively from source material? I don’t necessarily think the best course for any given demon design profile is to produce whatever adheres most clearly to known parameters or the archetypal depiction: there’s definitely a dignity and clarity of form to Kaneko’s more “classical” designs but I also feel like they pale in comparison to his more abstracted or complex concepts. In a lot of cases, the dissonance between a classical archetype and a wildly differing depiction is a feature for me, not a bug: it creates an appealing mystery, or invites speculation, or implies an aspect of the character that defies human analysis surfacing. I don’t see the appeal in a gallery of characters with little or no deviation from their existing forms - I guess what it comes down to is whether we consider adherence to the source more or less valuable inherently than the creation of an intriguing design - the concept of say, “Michael” as a mythological figure will survive interpretations that differ from the stricter parameters of the source but without those interpretations we might miss out on Amemiya’s design, which I think is visually compelling even divorced from SMT altogether. I think “style” in “style over substance” is itself a form of substance… 

Obviously this is kind of compressed analysis, without a real conclusion - i’m more raising a topic discussion, and i’m also heavily biased by both my own visual tastes and my profession as an illustrator myself (I’m in the process of releasing my second artbook, an Ars Goetia edition) but i’m intrigued to hear your thoughts. Is SMT more valuable as a vault of untouched “accurate” designs or as a platform for creative reinterpretation?

Wow, thank you for this thoughtful submission! I’m glad you got a kick out of the article. And yes, this one was longer and way more involved than my actual college thesis. :p  Luckily, I can answer your core question (which I’ve bolded) fairly quickly as much of what’s in the article is built off of previous discussions over the years.  

Basically, I think source designs (whether Types I or II, going by our data) are generally more appropriate for SMT demons because:

unlike so many other interpretations out there, SMT strongly asserts its demons are intended to be the actual characters from myth

if this is true, they should resemble their given forms (or functionality) because they have symbolic significance afforded to them by their respective cultures

That’s a succinct way of putting it, I think. The whole point of the Ultra Odin discussion is that his form is pretty meaningless to Norse culture and Odin’s own identity. But you also mentioned Michael, a perfect example:

First we have Kaneko’s kinda boring but VERY Orange Crush SMT1 Michael; despite this, it still conforms to the general notion of anthropomorphism for angels (something affirmed early on in the writing of the Hebrew Bible and particularly by the apocrypha of the early centuries BC). Importantly, not only can a human-like angel relate better to humans, they represent divine order in God’s creation; and note, even the “weird/horrific” angels of the Ezekiel vision have a clear rhyme and reason to them.

Then there’s Amemiya’s Michael. Straight up, it gets symbolism wrong. Whether or not Michael is just the arms resting on the tongue-vomiting head, behind them is that serpent-like thing. Of course, in traditional art Michael is often seen surmounting the Satan-serpent but here a serpent appears not just as equal but its tail technically above the arms and head. Therefore, does this design actually thoughtfully represent Michael the archangel? Based on Amemiya’s commentary, no, it doesn’t. It just represents Amemiya’s own interpretation. That’s why, to me, this is a design failure within the context of SMT.

I also personally don’t think of the characters of myth as intrinsically unknowable, mystical entities; whether it’s the influence of my pile ‘o books or not, I feel they are quite knowable, just to different degrees. The deeper question that stems from that is myth’s application and place within human societies, old or new, one that poses subsequent questions about their chosen symbolism like “why is Odin an old man?” or “why is Michael human-like?” Unfortunately, we can’t directly ask the ancient Norse or Hebrews about their deities but we can interpret what they left us.

Of Kaneko’s oeuvre, I generally like the Type II designs the best, as they hew close to sources but also include appropriate elements related to their functions; Tlazolteotl proved to be a useful example of this in the article. Myths represent things positive and negative, but in a series like SMT that asks you to interpret gods, demons, and their ideologies for yourself, a “neutral” design sense that transplants their actual symbolism is crucial for an informed and nuanced structure. If everything is a “monster” by default, like Amemiya’s Michael, then nothing will appear positive; if everything is symbolically meaningless, like Ultra Odin, then the art itself becomes divorced from the narrative.

But none of this matters because everyone knows to just go for the Neutral ending, anyway. :p

Hopefully, though, that clarifies my stance on the matter! Thanks! (And your Goetia art is great, btw... I’m bummed I missed out on the Kickstarter.)

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @green-eyeddragonfanfiction for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about her, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

Around 20, I think.

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

Reader inserts, definitely. I don’t mind throwing OC’s in there if I need to, though. I really like reading reader inserts. I think it’s really fun and engaging to imagine yourself in a story.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

Super Heroes! Although I really adore fantasy. If I were to write a book, it would be fantasy.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

I’m… not sure. I s'pose it’d have to be One Mistake, simply because I think it’s worst piece.

5) When is your preferred time to write?

Whenever I actually find the motivation to write, which usually ends up being around 1-4 am. Aka I’m a Mess: Part 1

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

Have you seen this man?

I suppose I also draw inspiration from comics, movies, TV shows, and video games where applicable.

7) In your Winter’s War Series, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

Out of the entire trilogy? Dang, that’s tough. Maybe in Ghosts of War when Bucky, Reader, and Nat are sitting together, sort of like some messed up little family? If not that, then it’s probably in Winter’s War when Reader, Steve, and Bucky reunite after the Azzano goes up in flames.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

I don’t think I’ve ever received “criticism.” I’ve received very polite corrections of some of the German in WW from some native speakers, but that’s about it (I haven’t corrected any of it yet because I’m a lazy pos).

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

Bucky Barnes. Because he’s Bucky Barnes.

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

I don’t really write characters that I don’t like. Even villains are fun to write, even if I hate them. If I had to choose, I guess it’d be Ashley Williams, from the Mass Effect series. I’ve only written her once, but she’s a damned space racist and I hate her, even if I didn’t hate writing her.

11) How did you come up with the title for the Winter’s War Series?

Winter’s War was named with the final scene of the first book in mind, as well as what reader and Bucky would be turned into for the second book; Winter Soldier(s), and the war that led them to being created. And because they “die” in the snow and ice. Ghosts of War because that’s what Reader and Bucky are in the second book. Ghosts. Shells of themselves. War torn and weary. Weapons. War of Attrition because, in the third book, they fight tooth and nail for every scrap of memory, personality, humanity, and they don’t always win. They’re going to hit a lot of roadblocks, mostly in the form of other humans, their past and their guilt, and sometimes each other.

12) How did you come up with the idea for Winter’s War Series?

I always liked the thought of a Bucky x Reader series where they both ended up as Winter Soldiers. Everything kind of grew from that. It follows very closely to the canon, so everything was trying to figure out the most believable way to weave a reader character into the existing story.

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

“Abandoned” is a strong word…. *stares guiltily at The Way I Do and Two of a Kind.* I just haven’t found the inspiration to write them recently, but I do plan on finishing them… eventually.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I plan on doing a second part for A Night to Remember when October rolls around. I also plan on adding more monster!Bucky’s to The Monster Series. My other series are complete or in progress and I don’t plan to add more to them (except to finish them in the case of the WIPs).

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

I don’t think so, no.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

@angryschnauzer​ writes absolutely divine smut. I absolutely hate writing smut, so I wish I had her skills. There are others, but she’s the first one that came to mind. If I listed out every single author on here that I admire and why I admire them, we’d be here for another ten paragraphs!

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

I only started writing back in August. Anything written before that’s been lost to the Great Laptop Death of 2017. So, luckily, most of my writing is relatively recent and cringe-free.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

I prefer listening to music (I love loud music and hate silence), but it’s distracting. My brain sometimes can’t process correctly so it tries to write the words I’m hearing instead of what I actually want to write. RIP me and my stupid brain. Aka I’m a Hot Mess: Part 2.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

Haha. No. I’m dead inside. I very rarely (if ever) cry when reading, too.

20) Which part of your Winter’s War Series was the hardest to write?

Oh god the entire Agents of SHIELD part of War of Attrition. That show is so dense and woven so intricately into the MCU that it was difficult as hell to figure out where to put the reader so that it’d be relevant and set up for the next parts of the story. I love that show, but it was so hard *sobbing*.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I almost never make outlines. WoA has been the exception because, as stated above, the content was way denser and I needed a clear path to be able to write them from point A to point B. That being said, I’ve only gotten as far as just after AoU. I haven’t decided what to do with Civil War or Infinity War yet.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction?

A) How Tumblr worked and B) that it’s a terrible, terrible site with horrible coding that, if it were a person, I would shoot as a mercy. Other than that, I read a lot of fics on here before I started posting some myself, which meant I had a pretty good idea of how to format it to be reader-friendly. Still had to google a lot of stuff, though.

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

Hmmm. I’m lucky in that I think I have a lot of readers/followers who leave lots of likes/comments/reblogs, but if I had to choose one? I think it’d be my recent Steve x Reader fic, Promise.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?

Oh god. Again, I’m grateful for every like, comment, and reblog I get, but By Chance. It’s by far my most popular one shot at a staggering 1,925 notes. I like the a/b/o verse, but I posted it pretty early on in my writing career and it skyrocketed which completely blindsided me. The same thing kinda happened with Dumped, Drunk, and Angry. I wrote a one shot in a day or two because inspiration hit me like a freight train, and somehow they’re both over a thousand notes now.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

I s'pose Reader is always based off of me, just a little bit? Every other character (except the rare OC) has an established personality, but if I made reader a completely faceless, bland being it wouldn’t be that fun to read, would it? So even though I’m always careful to never describe reader too much physically, s/he always ends up with at least some of my personality.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Oh goodness, I don’t know. My readers are amazingly kind people. I get a lot of asks and comments saying very, very nice things all the time. I don’t think I could choose just one if I tried..

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

I was told very politely I spelled some German words wrong/used the wrong German words.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

I word vomit on my real life friend sometimes if I’m really stuck. It’s not always super useful because she doesn’t follow/watch any MCU stuff. Mostly, ideas just bounce around in my head until one sticks.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

Yeah, most of my real life friends know. The friend I mentioned above writes fanfic, just not for the MCU. The rest are big nerds, too, so they don’t judge me.

30) What’s your favorite minor character you’ve written?

I loved writing Ran Shen and Mila Hitzvig for The Bitter March arc in Ghosts of War. As far as OC’s go, Dean from my series Time is probably my favorite.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Interest in the source material has a lot to do with it. For example, I was writing easily 4k+ words a day when I was writing about the events of Captain America: the Winter Soldier. Other than that, I wait for the urge to hit me… which sometimes means I don’t write for a few days and sometimes a week depending on what’s happening in real life.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

So far? Soulmate. A/B/O was also fun and I’ll probably write it again at some point.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Oh jesus, no. I have the worst memory ever. I’m lucky if I can remember things a week ago, much less years ago.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Uhh… Not smut, I know that much. But I have this bad habit where I can’t write fluff without some angst and vice versa? I don’t think I could deal with writing cotton candy fluff for the rest of my life, though. So…. angst, I guess? But I wouldn’t be happy about it.

[dangoghz]

legitimate advice for new phandom blogs

hey !! so i know sometimes posts like ‘RULES FOR THE PHANDOM XD’ are made and they’re all like “numba one. dan is a squishy bean respect this uwu” but this isn’t gonna be like that lol. im just going to list a few actual things that might help people new to the phandom learn about and become integrated into the community! of course these aren’t ‘rules’ and u dont have to listen to any of it ofc,,, im not here to control ur blog, just here to say what people normally do. feel free to rb whether u are a new blog or not, ill appreciate it either way!

(NOTE: PLS TELL ME IF ANY OF THE LINKS DONT WORK AND ILL FIX THEM PERIODICALLY!)

italicized text is defined in the glossary at the bottom!

1. be interactive! 

here, unique to our corner of timmy darn communism, we have a lot of like virtual traditions that everyone knows. these help you to make friends and also grow ur blog with some new mutuals. here are some examples.

networks: networks, or nets, are a sort of selective gc, usually with a theme or concept that it’s based around, in which all who wish to be part of fill out an application form that determines whether they get in. this is kinda the one with the most work, as u also have to make a group blog and info post, but it’s definitely worth it. i have made my closest friends in nets (such as @phleurnet which i birthed), and a lot of people on here would say the same. if you want to know more or apply, my friend diana runs an update blog @phandomnets! (examples, these are all open btw: x x x)

meetups: meetups are not in real life, don’t worry. a meetup is when someone organizes a specific time at which we all post thing around a certain theme! for instance, on halloween on tuesday, my friend milo hosted a halloween meetup. usually people post selfies but if u are uncomfortable with that, u can post art, music, or anything else related to the theme. a blog called @phandommeetupwatch keeps track of these! (examples, all happening soon/just happened: x x x)

follow forevers: a follow forever is a big celebration post when u reach a follower count milestone, no matter 50 or 5k. u tag all of the blogs you love, and they reblog it to appreciate u! it’s really positive and shows people how their work has paid off. usually people are tagged in alphabetical order, and sometimes people bold their favorites but the stylization is up to u. (recent examples: x x x)

milestone activities: sometimes people do things for their followers when they reach a follower count that involves their followers requesting something! there are many many forms of this type of thing. a common one is blog rates, in which there is a set template and the blogger rates each blog that sends in an ask using the template (info post ex: x; rate ex: x). there are also url edits (x), name/url moodboards (x), and more. u can certainly come up w an idea of ur own, being creative is great!

talk to people: that’s right dude!!! ye!!! u can message a blog u think is cool, or send an ask if u think something they made or are talking about is interesting, or add something sweet in the tags (more on etiquette later) when u rb their post. additionally, sometimes people stir up discourse, and u should participate in it if u want (past discourse examples: x x). u can also send asks when people reblog ask games, which are a list of questions with a theme (new one of mine ex: x). 

2. play around with your blog!

customizing your blog can start giving you what we call a branding, making you distinguished from other bloggers. this can include everything from as simple as using an icon to coding your own about page. 

themes: a blog can be way more appealing if it is aesthetically pleasing. admittedly, i often follow people just because of the smoothness of their mobile theme. a mobile theme is rather easy to construct as u can do it on ur own with a phone. it is how ur blog looks on a phone. although u don’t have to do this, i recommend sticking to two to four colors on ur theme and avoiding stuffing it with a lot of bright things because it can distract from content. additionally, bloggers often make their descriptions short and succinct. (my fav mobiles: x x x.) on a pc, your blog theme can be customized completely on html, meaning there is a lot of freedom. u don’t have to learn to code for this, bc u can find free themes anywhere, just search ‘free tumblr themes’ on google. once again, be creative, but u shouldn’t overload. (my fav pcs: x x x.)

about pages: in order to avoid chunky descriptions but still let people know the key deets about themselves, bloggers create about pages. sometimes these bout pages are uncoded but u can also use html code if u want to. some common things in an about page are interests, maybe personality types/horoscopes/hogwarts houses, original content, and links to other social media. (examples: x x x)

urls: urls are a key part of your blog’s brand. ‘rebranding’ is what people say if they change their url! if u are tired or bored with your url, changing it is an opportunity to change your theme and other parts of ur blog as well. (url change ex: x). 

saved urls: saved urls are basically when bloggers hoard sideblogs in order to reserve the urls used for them. if you ever encounter a blank blog that has ‘saved’ as its title, that’s probably it. sometimes people like to give away their urls, either as a constant thing (ex: x) or by doing a url giveaway (x). either way, it’s a good opportunity to change it up!

tags: in order to keep their blog cleancut and organized, a lot of bloggers have special tags for certain people, certain topics, and/or certain types of media. many people in the phandom particularly have tags for dan and phil that match (strawberries and cream, lune and sole, etc). if they have many of these tags, there can be a page for their tags on their blog. this page can be coded with special html or just a regular tumblr page, it doesn’t really matter. but it’s very useful for those who visit your blog, and makes it easy for u to navigate older posts as well! (examples: x x x)

3. learn to make og content!

producing original content helps you establish what your strengths are and why people should follow you. it also allows u to contribute to the fanbase, and gives u a chance of being noticed by dnp! and the validation is lovely. there are many options if u want to make something. 

gifs: gifs are an ART here in the phandom, and its mechanisms still perplex me to this day bc ive never tried it. u probably already know what a gif is, but if not, its essentially a short animation made in photoshop that repeats. gifmakers are often distinguished by a unique coloring (example gifmakers: x x x), such as my friend emily’s smooth dark blue tint (x). it can be a long process to learn how to gif but it is very rewarding in the end, from what i’ve heard. (tutorials: x x)

art: there is a very wide range of phanartists, all with such talents, either digital or traditional, that you can draw inspirations from for your own work. you can make cartoons, comics, realism, abstract, nsfw even, or any mix (or none) of the former. artists on tumblr definitely deserve more attention than they get here on tumblr, so be sure to show appreciation towards them! (my fav artists: x x x)

edits: edits are the Graphic Designs of our community and are usually very aesthetically pleasing. they can be centered around a certain event, like a video or something dnp made, or just for fun. the more practice you get making them, the more dexterous u’ll become. they can be a great tool if u like the design aspect of art but don’t want to actually draw. (edit makers: x x)

icons: icons are just the little profile picture that u can insert for ur blog. it’s really easy and fun to make them, kind of like a lazy version of edits. you can make them using photoshop or an app like picsart or medibang, and it doesn’t take a lot of time. more on how to use icons in section 4. (examples: x x x) (my lil tutorial: x)

moodboards: moodboards are nine pictures arranged 3 by 3 that have a certain color scheme. it’s kind of like a collage except the photo feature here separates the pictures for u. there are a lot of innovative moodboard makers that stun me w how pretty it looks or how they arrange the pics. moodboards are also an easy and fun option! (moodboard tags: x x x)

textposts: this is by far the easiest and more common form of content u will find. it’s just writing about dnp in a textpost! if a textpost isn’t very serious, people also call it a meme or shitpost. shitposting is defs on the rise here so its a good business to get into. it’s also a great outlet for ur emotions or personal connections to what dnp do! (example talk tags: x x x)

fics: by far the most famous media to come out of here, phanfiction is a popular form of phan indulgence. u have probably heard of the most scarring ones (list: x), but there is actually a really vast range of it, not just creepy smut! some other genres are fluff, angst, and slow burns. u will discover that, despite the sterotype, not all fanfiction is bad. you can find lovely fics on @phanfictioncatalogue by genre, au, or topic. and, if u need help writing something, many writers would love to help. (a few well-known fics: x x x x x)

4. tumblr etiquette!

i know tumblr might seem like a simple social media (or perhaps not after u’ve read all the above?) but there’s a lot of things that u just....u just don’t do. it’s sort of like virtual manners, and if u don’t follow them, then it’s unlikely that people will like ur blog. once again, this is by no means me forcing u to run ur blog a certain way. it just happens that the types of ppl who break these rules are who we mock in gcs :////////. so yea, here’s some advice.

credits: if u decide to use someone’s art, edit, gif, or icon on the theme of ur blog, check what they require of u before u use it. most content creators strongly ask for credit in the description of ur blog, either by link or like ‘icon/header/art by ____’. it is just a common courtesy to the person who spent time on that, and if u think credit will ruin the aesthetic of ur blog, a) u probably don’t have an aesthetic in the first place and b) learn to appreciate art, binch. 

anonymity: anon asks can be very powerful either negatively or positively depending on how u yield them, so make sure that u are careful with what u send. compliments are always welcome and criticism as well, but blatant rudeness or hate will do nothing. u will only make someone feel bad about themselves and it will not accomplish anything. also, u face the threat of all their friends turning u into a meme. 

sensitivity: a lot of people here are way too easily offended by harmless jokes, a common example in the phandom being when we insult dnp affectionately and people take it way too much to heart. please don’t start drama over something w no real meaning. however, there are times when it is indeed necessary. if u want to criticise a blogger, be respectful of them simultaneously. by all means, if u spot someone being racist, homophobic, transphobic, misogynist, or the like, feel free to call them out on it. but beforehand, make sure that u have done ur research and are educated on the topic, or u could turn out to be blatantly wrong. 

adding to posts: everyone makes this mistake when they start out here and that’s totally okay, but adding to every post u reblog is incredibly bothersome. a rule of thumb would be don’t add anything unless what u say will actually improve the post significantly. if ur additions are along the lines of ‘LOL’ or ‘i relate!!!!’ or ‘philly is a smol bean XD’, learn to use the tags for heaven’s sake. they’re there for not only organization but also for commenting. some exceptions, though, would be if u are mentioned in the post or the op is your close friend. 

respecting privacy: this should already be obvious to u, but respect dan and phil’s boundaries. do not tag them or their main tags (#daniel howell, #danisnotonfire, #amazingphil), in any phanfics, phanart (like specifically with them as a romantic ship), or phan edits. do not talk to their family members, expose their personal info like address or phone number, and do consider that they are real people just like u. we may make things based around phan, but it is kept in a community for us and not for dan and phil’s eyes. this is very important.

5. have fun!

sorry if this is all overwhelming, but i tried to make it as simplified as possible. and also sorry for the sass, i’m kinda tired of all the ding dongs on here and want to prevent further ding dongs from being created. thanks so much for readin and be sure to send me an ask anytime if u have questions! welcome to hell!

glossary

timmy darn communism: me being my usual weird self and replacing ‘tumblr dot com’ with random words that start with the same letters

mutuals: someone who you follow and who follows you; usually who u interact with most

rb: shortening for ‘reblog’

discourse: when theres is intense discussion of a certain topic, sometimes phan-related sometimes not, sometimes serious and sometimes silly

branding: the word ‘branding’ kinda started as a joke, but it’s generally what we use to call what someone’s blog reminds them of, whether it be a certain color or a discussion topic; my branding, if u asked a mutual, would probably be impressionism, tea, and baguettes (dont ask ab that one)

html: a simple type of coding used for designing websites! u can learn basic html here or here, it’s way easier and funner than it looks

dnp: dan and phil; we also say ‘deppy’, ‘dip and pip’, ‘the boys’, ‘the rats’, and more

coloring: basically the stylization of a gif, shown through filters, textures, contrast, brightness, etc. 

talk tag: a tag in which all of the textposts that a person makes are sorted into

phanfiction terms

smut: porn fic :/ 

fluff: just what it sounds like, a type of fic that usually has a lot of soft stuff like cuddling, flirting, and looooove

angst: a fic with a lot of drama, usually sad or very emotional

slow burn: a fic where a pairing, in this case phan, slowly falls in love

au: stands for ‘alternate universe’, a fic in which dan and phil are written not as youtubers but in a completely different scenario (ie. bad boy and new guy in high school, university students, space exhibition, anything u can dream up really)

anon: short for ‘anonymous’

op: short for ‘original poster’, aka who made the post

[hchano]

Hey, I've been wanting to start a webcomic for a while and since you have one, I was wondering if I could get some tips? You know, stuff like hosting websites, canvas size, more or less how you went about drafting/storyboarding it and keeping it going? If you have time to do it, that is! Thank you!

yaaaaas!! i love talkin about webcomics XD 

hosting stuff depends on what you want! i always wanted to just have my own site, so i made my husband code it up for me lol. but there are CMS things you can use if you don’t know how to code... stuff like comicpress [part of wordpress]. i don’t know much about this to be honest, but i know comics like the meek and the ironclad man use this, to give you an idea. the layouts are simple but customizable.

there’s alsi webcomic hosts that have built in [but much more limited] templates you can jump in with...these alsot have like, a built in audience, basically, since a lot of ppl use them to host, and they have forums and stuff like that. for that, there’s SmackJeeves [which kinda has a reputation for boy love comics for some reason, but there’s a lot of other genres on there too xD], Tapastic [tho it looks like they re-branded since i last looked?? they are ‘tapas’ now?...idk what else changed], and WebToons... and likely others, but these are the ones i remember. 

SJ is the oldest surviving one, so i’d say maybe it’s the most dependable? but you can research to see which one seems like the best fit for you if you wanna do the community route. [i’m also a part of a webcomic collective called spiderforest, which has the option to host member comics, but the comic has to be established already and apply during application season xD]

as for canvas size and all that, it depends on your aim. i started d*s with no plan to print it and it bit me in the ass down the line when i decided i wanted to print. i can’t print it as it is on the site, cos i drew waaay too small, and the pages were different sizes... plus i had 0 bleed/trim space, so my dialogue and art would get cut into if i printed it as it is. [i have an ongoing chore of redrawing the old pages for print which is stalled midway thru vol 1... it sucks lol] 

so if you plan to print, think about what size you might want the books to be. you can look at popular webcomics and see what their dimensions match up to and make a decision based on that xD there are a lot of bleed/trim templates you can look at on sites like printninja and ka-blam. [u can hit me up if u can’t find them, their sites can be mazelike lol]

as for drafting stuff... i pretty much know how the story is going already. i have the plot points and like 50% of the dialogue already written xD the drawing part, it’s like... my process for my current page is:

script [it’s super barebones lol]:

Vix:But where would he be this time of night...?

[she thinks of the time she saw the ribbons, looking nervous]

Vix:should I try that again...?it was an accident last time...maybe if I'm aware of it, I can--

[red glow, Vix looks kind of pleased. she follows the strings to the roof.]

^^^ i usually try to stay about 4 - 5 chapters ahead of the current update with my script, which helps me spot plot holes and revise dumb stuff i wrote before it goes live lol.

thumbnails:

[oops this has a preview of the next page too lmao. enjoy, non-patrons?] i try to stay 10 thumbnails ahead of the current page for this lol.

inks:

[i don’t have ink buffers, i do ink and colour at the same time...]

colours+effects:

...i pretty much post these as soon as i finish them lol. 

idk if any of this helps but if you have more questions, lemme know ;0;/  you can feel free to pm me too!!

[porchbirds]

Hi, Aunt Reyna!! Do you have any tips for a super beginner for eyeshadow, lipstick, foundation, and eyeliner?? I have my colors and everything! I just don't know what to do!!

Uhm well i kinda want 2 open w like makeup is…. a scheme to make money off insecurity but honestly that’s a pretty hypocritical statement coming from me and also it has little practical value in the Real World of like.. life so i’m not gonna do that. 

SO here are some helpful tips? under the cut bc it got long. Hopefully this helps?

Foundation

1. If you can avoid it, don’t use your fingers. I know brushes can be expensive, but foundation already has a decent chance of making u break out. Adding ur finger oils to that shit is gonna be Not Great and application will be kinda uneven.

Instead, use a thick brush, or an application sponge or a blending sponge. You can find pretty cheap brushes at drugstores through elf or on amazon. 

2. Use a setting powder. Ur makeup will move so much if you don’t. DONT set until after you’ve finished your eye makeup tho, bc it’ll be hard to like fix ur foundation once it’s set. 

Use one of those circle foam sponge applicators for under your eyes/ on your cheekbones / the middle of your forehead. (they come with a lot of setting powders. I use elf’s packed setting powder in translucent). 

You don’t have to set your foundation everywhere else, but it tends to sorta wear off during the day if you dont. I find the sponge to be too heavy handed for full face (it makes my makeup Way too light) so i use a fluffy brush to set the rest. 

3. Do your eyemakeup after foundation, but (like i said) before you set the foundation with powder. This will help it naturally (lol) set and make it look less powdery later. Be careful not to move your face too much during this spot or it’ll crease. 

If it creases, that’s fine. Use your brush to smooth it out or buff it out with your power. (Only add more foundation if it’s like moved a lot. DON’T layer foundation on top of powder!)

Eye shadow

1. Prime Your Eyes! You don’t need to spend a bunch of money on expensive primers if you don’t wanna. Just use your regular concealer (assuming you have that). Dab it all over your eyelids and then set it with a light, neutral eyeshadow in a similar color to your concealer. 

2. If you’re going for a more complex, multi color look you’re prob gonna want to follow this formula:

      a. Your lightest shade goes all over the lid, up to the brow bone. This is your base shade.      b. Your transition shade goes NEXT! It doesn’t go over your dark shades!!! It goes under them! This is a shade slightly darker than your base, which is going to help blend everything together. You can do multiple transition shades, depending on the look your doing and how ~complex~ you wanna get with it. One is usually fine though.      c. Your darkest shade goes in the crease. There’s a lot of ways to do the crease shade. General rule is to go in with a VERY light hand. You can always add more, you know? So go in lightly and try to keep it toward the outer corner.     d. NOW you go back and deal with the middle to the inner corner of your lid. This is where you’re going to fix up the lightest shade if it’s sort of disappeared. OR where you’re gonna want to put like a lighter glittery shade if that’s what you’re feeling.    e. Use a lighter shade under your brow, on the brow bone, to frame everything. DON’T use a color that’s too light or too sparkly. You’re going to want something pretty near like the shade you set your concealer with. Think like maybe one or maybe two shades lighter than your skin tone. 

3. BLEND THAT SHIT OH MY GOD! use a fluffy brush and a very light hand. 

Eye liner

1. It’s gonna take practice. That’s just the truth. You’re gonna fuck it up a TON of times. 

2. There’s a billion “right” ways to do eye liner. Here’s the general process for a wing:

      a. start by lining your top lid with a VERY thin line. I personally don’t like to go all the way to the inner corner, but some people do. Do you. I usually start just a little bit inwards of the center of my eye. like ¾ of the way in.       b. Make the bottom line of your wing. Start at the outer corner of your eye and go up and out to about where you want it.       c. connect the wing to the line across your lid. You’re basically just gonna draw a relatively straight line from the wing to like the center of your lid.       e. Go back and fill in until it looks how you want it to. 

3. Your eyes are probably not going to match perfectly. Just get them close, it’s fine. 

I like liquid or gel liners. I think pencil smudges wayy to easily. If you use a gel liner, set it with a thin brush and a dark black eye shadow. 

Lipstick 

1. Finding “your color(s)” is going to take a while

2. You can probably rock just about any color with enough confidence. Whatever it is, it probably looks good. Don’t psych yourself out about it. You can layer colors (i recommend it actually).

I feel like i look best with brown or purple undertones. I have a brown shade i use to layer under a lot of like my reds. Wear whatever though honestly you’re probably fine. A lot of drug stores have decent return policies for makeup, so ask about that when you’re buying.

3. Use Chapstick Under Your Lipsticks! ESPECIALLY if you’re going matte. It’ll help hold things in place, help prevent creasing, and keep ur lips healthy and soft!

4. LINE YOUR LIPS OMG. this sounds like such an old lady thing like grandmas line their lips, but seriously it helps. If you don’t want to buy a ton of liners in a billion colors, just buy a transparent one (yes they sell them). It’s not AS effective, but it’ll still help a LOT trust me.

Removal

Don’t waste your money on rlly expensive makeup removers if you don’t want to. Like not to be That Bitch but (organic extra virgin) olive oil makes for a GREAT makeup remover???? Oil dissolves oil and it’s honestly great. You can buy it in bulk(ish) and you only need to use a little bit so it’ll save you money.                if you do this, there may be a transition period while your skin adjusts to the oil, in which you break out a little. That’s normal and fine. You’ll clear up soon. It’s actually helped my skin a lot over time. (you can also use the oil as a moisturizer if you have dryer skin. I do and it’s great tbh). 

HONEST SECRET TRUTH OF MAKEUP

1. WATCH MAKEUP TUTORIALS! THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE TO HELP YOU THEY WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE. Any look you want, there is probably a step by step video for it, trust me . Girls out there have your back, my friend. 

2. it’s all fake and we’re all just doing our best out here. There’s like ~better~ ways to do things but no specifically wrong way. If you think it looks good, if you like it, whatever, then do it. you probably look great tbh.

[photokatsu]

Magical Grand Circus of Dreams Scenario Ep 7-11

Episode 7

Kaede: Hello, everybody! It’s time for the one and only Kaede’s juggling lesson! Are you ready?

Everyone: Okay~!!

Kaede: Okay!! So, let’s start from the basics…

[Scene Transition]

Kaede: And that’s about it! Let’s start with just one ball, first. We’ll save adding more after getting used to it!

Everyone but Yurika: Okay~!

[Scene Transition]

Yurika: ….

Ran: Yurika? What’s up?

Yurika: ...I never thought Kaede would actually be able to teach other people.

Ran: Geez, what do you think Kaede is…?

Yurika: I just thought she would be a bit more...Like, bam, and then boom! You know…?

Ran: Uhh...Well, I guess I know what you mean?

Kaede: Yurika~? I can hear you, you know~?

Yurika: I-I, I didn’t say anything!!

[Scene Transition]

Seira: Hah! Whoa!!

Kaede: Good, beautiful! You’re perfect even with three balls! You have talent, Seira!

Seira: Hehe, thanks! ...Whoa!!

Kaede: Great! All right then, Seira! Why don’t you give this a go next?

[Scene Transition]

Sora: Juggle juggle, cutie cute♪ Juggle juggle, cutie cute♪

Maria: Whee~ Toot-toot-a-loot! Toot♪ There~

Kaede: Amazing!! The rhythm’s kinda unique, but you’re both really good!! Or rather, even I would have trouble copying what you two just did, I think…?

Sora: Hehe♪ Thanks, Kaede-chan.

Maria: I just can’t do it in any other rhythm~

[Scene Transition]

Kii: All right...There~...! Whoa~ Next is...My right hand...Left? What-what-whaaaat~~!?

Kaede: Oh, Kii! You can catch it with any hand you want if it’s just one ball!

Kii: Ugh...I don’t think I’m gonna be able to do this on stage…

Kaede: No problem! I’ve got your back, so even if you slip up, it won’t matter! And making mistakes fun is what circuses are all about!

Kii: Ooh~! But, but, I’ll do my best to make sure I get it!

[Scene Transition]

Yurika: Everyone is getting better and better.

Ran: Yeah. It’s all due to Kaede-sensei’s great teaching, huh?

Yurika: You’re right. I was honestly surprised, but it was really easy to understand.

Kaede: Thanks, Yurika, Ran! I’m so glad to hear that! But, you two need more practice, huh…?

Yurika&Ran: Ack...Okay~

Episode 8

Kaede: Amazing! You guys all got so good so fast!

Yurika: But of course! Who do you think I am!?

Ran: Well, we took longer than the others, though.

Maria: I really didn’t think we’d get this far, though!

Sora: Yeah! If we can do this much now, it kind of makes me want to try to do more…!

Seira: Yeah! Kaede! Can you teach us more stuff?

Maria; Right♪ If Kaede-chan can teach us, I feel like I can do even more!

Kaede: R-Really…? Hmmm, well, I’m in a bit of a pickle now~

Kii: Huh? Why, why?

Kaede: Those were just the basics so I could teach you more, but...From here now it’s the process of application, so everything’s completely my style. I wonder if I can teach it to you guys all the same like the basics…?

Ran: I see...So Kaede learned it by feeling, huh...It’s true that’s hard to teach others…

Yurika: But she was able to teach us the basics really well...I don’t see any harm in trying.

Kaede: Hmmm~...You’re right! It’s exactly as Yurika said! There’s no harm in trying!

[Scene Transition]

Kaede: The one and only Kaede’s juggling lesson: process of application! Let’s get this started! The footwork here is applied, but don’t think too hard about it! It’s super easy as long as you get the hang of it♪

Seira: And how do you do that…?

Kaede: Like...Bam, and then boom!

Everyone: ….?

Yurika: Her teaching sure got questionable all of the sudden…

Ran: Good for you, Yurika. You guessed right…

Yurika: That doesn’t make me happy now!

Kii: Hey, hey, Kaede-chan! You mean like this?

Seira: Kii, do you actually understand?

Kii: Well, I hope I’m right…

[Scene Transition]

Kaede: Great!! That’s exactly right, Kii! That’s what I wanted to say!

Kii: Phew~! I had a feeling~

Yurika: I’m amazed you understood from that explanation…

Kii: I just guessed based on an analysis of her explanations earlier!

Seira: Ooh! That’s our Kii!

Kaede: I see~ You guys would’ve understood if I could talk like Kii. Hmmm~ But I can’t just come out with those words instantly like her~

Kii: Hey, Kaede-chan, then how about I translate like I just did now?

Kaede: Thanks, Kii! That’d be a great help!

Ran: The birth of an unexpected duo...I guess?

Episode 9

Kaede: All right, let’s take a break for now~!

Everyone: Good work~...

[Scene Transition]

Kaede: Kii! Thanks so much for that! It was a huge help having you back me up!

Kii: Fi-fi-fight, Kaede-chan! Here, have some Brain Thunder! It’s my favourite♪

Kaede: Wow!! Thanks, Kii! Then if you’ll excuse me…[Gulp, gulp]...Ooh, it sure has a kick~!

Kii: Right, right, right~! It always makes me feel energised.

Kaede: You’re right! I feel like my head clearing up!

Kii: It looked like you were doing lots of thinking♪

Kaede: Wow! How did you know!? You’re so amazing, Kii.

Kii: Heh heh heh~♪ It’s ‘cuz I’m a pro-pro-producer!

Kaede: Ahahaha! Makes sense~!! Why did you become a producer, Kii?

Kii: ...When I was little, Mommy cast a spell on me.

Kaede: Magic? ...Like magic tricks?

Kii: Kinda, but...That was like actual magic~ It made a shy girl all lively in a split second!

Kaede: Fantastic! It sounds like wonderful magic! So you can use that magic now?

Kii: Ummm...I dunno...I’d be really happy if I’m using it properly~ That magic Mommy cast on me was her pro-pro-producing me.

Kaede: Wow~...! So that’s why you’re a producer. Then you’re already an accomplished magician♪ You’re already putting smiles on eeeveryone’s faces with that magic! I’m smiling now thanks to Kii, too♪

Kii: Ooh...Hehe, thanks, Kaede-chan!

Kaede: Okay! Now that I’m full of energy thanks to you…! Let’s start up the lessons again!

Kii: Yeah♪ Let’s let’s lesson go go go♪

Episode 10

Circus Emcee: Ladies! And gentlemen! We will now…

Ran: Oh...Looks like it’s starting.

Maria: Once the circus’s opening finishes…

Sora: It’s time for our special stage…!

Yurika: So it means it is almost time for I, Yurika-sama, to appear on stage!

Seira: It’s almost time for all of us to stand on that stage…! I’m so excited!

Kii: R-Really? I’m so nervous~

Kaede: Don’t worry♪ You guys got so good!

Kii: Everyone but me~! I still mess up so much…

Kaede: No problem! I said that making mistakes look fun is what circuses are all about, right? I’ll make sure to have your back even if you make a mistake! So relax and let’s do it!

Seira: Yeah, Kii! Plus...You’ll be fine if you just be yourself! You practised so much!

Kii: Seira...Kaede-chan...Yeah, I’ll do my best! My best-best-best!

Kaede: All right then, guys…! First of all, thanks for accepting our offer.

Kii: Yeah. I bet it’ll be a super good live thanks to everyone here!

Yurika: Oh, my...Should you not save those words for after the live?

Kaede: Ahaha, you’re right! Oh, by the way...After we finish performing, let’s have a celebration party! Let’s go to the Kaede Sushi in America!

Seira: Oh, that sounds great!

Maria: Yeah! I’m excited already♪

Sora: Then we’ve got to make sure the live is a success.

Kaede: Of course!

Kii: Let’s put a smile on eeeveryone who came to see us~!

Kaede: And, of course, we gotta have fun, too! They’re not gonna have fun if we don’t have smiles on our own faces!

Kii: Yeah! Are you all ready to have some fun?

Everyone: Of course!

Kaede: All right! Then let’s go~!

Everyone: Yeah~!!

Episode 11

[A few days after Magical Toy’s special stage]

Kaede: Huh~? It’s this place again! And nobody’s here yet...This is…

Kii: Huh, huh!? Kaede-chan!?

Kaede: Kii! I knew you’d come!

Kii: So you came because of Headmistress Orihime, too?

Kaede: Yes! She said there’s someone waiting like last time. You too, Kii?

Kii: Yeah, Headmistress Tiara said it’s a surprise again.

Kaede: It was really a surprise last time~♪

Kii: But Marcel-san already went back to America, so…

Kaede: Yeah, but they still said there’s someone waiting and a surprise...Such a mystery.

[Scene Transition]

Kaede: Wow, I didn’t expect this much of a surprise…

Kii: We didn’t even dream of that happening~ I was so surprised. A representative of Marcel-san came...I can’t believe we got a letter from Marcel-san!

Kaede: Yeah. But it’s so Marcel-san of him to have a silent letter♪

Kii: Yeah, yeah! It was just a drawing of a clown face...The clown was smiling, huh.

Kaede: Yeah...So he was watching us.

Kii: ...Is it okay? To think that our feelings reached him.

Kaede: Yes! Or he wouldn’t have sent this smile!

Kii: Yeah~ I’m so glad~ One less thing to worry about~

Kaede: Yeah~...But, it’s a little sad…

Kii: Huh, why?

Kaede: ‘Cuz our duo ends here, right? It was really fun pairing up with you…

Kii: Oh...Right...But, but! It’s not like it ends forever, right!?

Kaede: Right! Hey, Kii! You should produce me someday!

Kii: Me, producing you…? Got it! I’ll pro-pro-produce you with all I’ve got!

Kaede: Okay! ...No, wait, this is Kii here, so…

Kii: Yeah, please!

Kaede: All right, on the count of three...1, 2, 3…!

Kaede&Kii: Ok-ok-okay~♪♪

[n1ghtcrwler]

College

Okay so, allow me to explain. I believe that I got a call to enter ministry a few years back, very early in our marriage. @anachronistic-vibrancy (Carol) and I, at that time, talked and prayed and sought confirmation and believe that we got it. As a result, I did a year-long staff internship at our church, after which we joined a church planting team going to the town next to where we were, and I started taking classes at an Equip Center that trains people to be church planters, leaders, or lay leaders through an SBC seminary. Due to our financial state, I could only afford the certificates of the classes I took rather than the full grades. I also started taking a preaching class being hosted by the sending church of that plant. The thing is, there weren't exactly a whole lot of other options. The only seminaries I could conceivably commute to (for a number of limiting factors) are Catholic ones, which is about as far away from Baptist as you can get and still debate being in the same religion. I looked into distance learning options, but no one would take financial aid unless you attended in person, which I couldn't do, and of course I couldn't afford to just pay out of pocket. So I was doing the best I could, realistically. And I started to learn that this wasn't enough in the eyes of the church. I started to encounter very real resistance based solely on the fact that we're pretty poor. I was told, in no uncertain terms, to drop out of the preaching class because the culmination of that class would be preaching at the church and I wasn't allowed to preach there because I wasn't providing for my family so I wouldn't be able to pass no matter what. I pointed out that I was working two jobs and we were paying our rent and, yes, we were getting food stamps, but the pastor telling me this literally lived in income-based housing because of a low pay from the church and a host of credit card debt and I didn't see how that was better? I was removed from the class. Even now, we've actually been told that it's not okay that our new child will be born on MassHealth because it means I'm not providing for my family and, by these (and apparently only these) grounds am not fit to hold an eldership or pastoral position, nevermind that the issue being stated is that I'm not trying hard enough when the reason I left the last job was that I broke myself trying to keep up with it and physically couldn't do it anymore and have been job hunting now for months with no solid results. I really do feel that the view the modern American church has of poverty is far more American than church, but I digress. Now, since I don't have experience and can't afford a degree and can't church plant within the SBC at least partly because one of the people mentioned in the above paragraph is the person who would have to approve us before NAMB which certainly didn't help our planting attempt last year which could not manage to get even a cent of support, we reached a point where we didn't see how this calling could be fulfilled and started to wonder again if we had been wrong the whole time. But we also couldn't keep doing this thing where I work a dead-end job that barely covers the bills until I just can't anymore and then look for something that might, just this once, be better. Especially if none of those jobs will even hire me anymore, as the case is seeming to be. We may have finally reached that dead-end. So I had heard at a church we visited during our transition back to our home church last fall about Northeastern Baptist College. I briefly looked into it and saw that they had massive discount scholarships, but didn't really dig beyond that at the time because the remaining cost was still too high for us. Then, last week, I was reminded of them, and started to look a bit more closely and learned that they also have a work study program that makes tuition free. I can afford free. So I pitched this to Carol, because maybe with a degree I could find work and with a Bachelor's in Biblical Studies (concentration on Pastoral Ministry with a minor in Church Planting, we decided) maybe I could find ministry work and maybe the process would clarify what, exactly, we were supposed to even be doing. And we decided it was worth applying, so I started on that*. So we went and visited yesterday and it turns out that the reason we didn't hear about it upon investigating our options in 2011/2012 was because it didn't exist until 2013. So it's small yet, and sorting out some of its larger accreditation options, but it is accredited and has close enough ties to the SBC that I could find work within the denomination (and some others) with it just fine even if this stuff isn't sorted out before graduation. And they're really cool and excited about the idea that I wanna go there and seem very willing to work with our situation and when the belt broke in the van on the way there and we had to get towed the Admissions director literally drove to the shop to pick us up so we could still do the visit and we got to sit down with the Preaident of the school and hash out some details and backstory and the Registrar said that because of the relationship they have with Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, who hosted the Equip center, they may be able to transfer in my certificates from there even though I didn't actually get credits for them (but of course can't make any promises on that yet) and it was just a great experience overall and I really hope this works out. And I mean, even just being there and talking to people who seem to really want us to get where God is taking us regardless of our financial situation was such an encouragement and even prompted Carol to submit an idea that I had kinda, but not really seriously, considered as a possible track for us. And the van's belt was an issue and an unexpected $182 charge and got us back late enough that our son had to walk to one of our friends' houses from school and took a wrong turn and got lost and Carol freaked out a bit until we found him so it was a very tiring day, and now I'm writing this mostly because I'm up with acid reflux and can't sleep, but it was a glorious day overall and I'm very happy for it and between this and the remaining drive from Send I'm very hopeful about where we're going for probably the first time since July. *-I'm almost done with my application, I just have to write a 350-500 word essay on my goals. I admitted to the admissions director that when I got to where it asked for a 350-500 word essay on my testimony, I pulled up what I thought was an abridged version I'd already written and found it was 1200 words because I can, apparently, write 500 words by accident. Carol told me she's pretty sure I've written 500-word comments before, on like Facebook posts and stuff. So that should be fun, planning to knock that out after I sleep. Anyway, if you could keep this all in prayer, and maybe consider hiring me to draw you maps or hit up and advertise my store and/or patreon to help us through this period of continued unemployment, I would be really grateful. I don't know yet if we have any plans on how to make money doing the podcast, or I'd push that, too.

[geekynerdydorkyme]

The Burn Book

To be frank, I've never been one to gossip or talk behing people's backs. This is mainly due to the fact that I never really fit in, and wasn't included in cliques, group dynamics and other drama. But these past few weeks (class weeks to be exact), I've felt like I'm litterally Cady in Mean Girls. Granted, without, the makeup, fashion and school shenanigans that come along. Besides, all of my classmates are adults, even if their behaviour is sometimes anything but. 

You see, the tragedy of Cady, in my opinion, is that she came to the battlefield known as school without any knowledge of warfare. What I mean by that is she has no idea how hypocritical people are they say one thing to your face, another behind your back. Now, at 25 I should know better than to expect people to speak candidly or be kind to everyone. But I never thought I would ever be in the middle of a battlefiled of my own.

Let me explain: I work in a real estate company that finances its own degree program for employees who have either never worked in that field before, or have experience but want to study further. Academically, I’ve been doing alright, despite my job having nothing to do with the subjects I study - but that will be for another rant. I’m in class one out of three weeks and that’s great because it gives me a break from work. However, whenever I’m in class, I’m caught up in conflicts I haven’t witnessed since middle school. And well, since wer’e back on useless drama, why not write my own Burn Book? 

So here it is, meet my class:

Horse Girl

It turns out I met her at my first interview (our degree is paid for by our company, so we went through several interviews as part of the application process). Obsessed with horses as nickname suggests. From a wealthy family (horses are expensive), but with poor manners. At first, I thought she was a spoiled brat, and she is bitchy on occasion but I get along fine with her for the most part, despite being exact opposites. I guess she’s not too bad, but she happens to be one half of the war currently raging in class.

 Boxer Girl

Man, does this girl pack a mean punch - or at least, I assume; I don't exactly want to confirm it. Here's the tea: she and horse girl were inseparable for a couple of weeks, and then it all came crashing down. I'm not privy to the details, and I haven't made any effort to, but long story short, they had to stay in the same hotel room at one point (accomodation is paid for by our company for those who don't live near the school) and fell out big time. Nowadays, our class is basically torn between them, and Boxer Girl being class president, she calls most of the shots. She reigns over a few loyal servants who help her undermine and talk shit about Horse Girl to our managers and teachers - classy, right? I mostly try to stay out of it but I have no idea where I stand with Boxer Girl: she blows hot and cold, sometimes sweet, sometimes cruel. I used to really like her, now I don't don't know what to think of her. I don't know what she thinks of me either. She’s still mostly nice, but who knows what she says of me behind my back. I have a group project with her in a while, guess I'll know then.

Soccer Haircut

Sorry but I don't know how else to define this guy. A faithful lieutenant of Boxer Girl, he's worked with the company for years and is very street-smart. He's otherwise quite bland and I find convervation with him unintesresting. 

Instagram Fashionista

No kidding, that's really what she looks like. Has also worked for the company for a while, and also follows Boxer Gril everywhere. At first I though she was really nice, now every conversation I have with her feels off, fake. And cherry on the cake: she sits beside me in class, so she's inches away as I'm typing this - yeah, sue me for writing in class 😋

Quiet Queer

Another one who's worked with the company before. Very shy and reserved, he doesn't talk much - at least with me. I haven't figured out what his deal is, if he's a friend or foe. He mostly looks uncomfortable when I chat with him, I have yet to decide if it's dislike for me or social akwardness. He seems to be on team Boxer Girl, but still hangs out with Horse Girl regularly and talks shit behind her back.

White Thug

Let’s be straigh: she’s not from the ghetto (she’s from Paris) ans has no criminal record (that I know of), but everything about the way she behaves and talk is reminiscent of the stereotypical thug. Has no care for rules whatsoever. Swears a lot, including while talking to teachers and managers. Found someone on the internet to do her homework for 100€. Has a friend who sells a suspicious amount of Apple goods online. Generally nonchalant and does not care about the impression she makes. I don't talk to her often - we don't have anything in common - but she’s okay. Used to be inseperable with a nice fellow she studied with in Paris, who since dropped out.

Tiny Chatterbox

Not even exagerating, she’s always talking, be it to someone or on the phone. She’s the size of a peanut but makes up for it with unsuspected might: if you cross her, she’ll end you. While she speaks her mind, she doesn’t take any good opportunity to shut up, which owed her the wrath of Boxer Girl. See, Tiny Chatterbox is a typical French: constantly complaining - most of the previously mentionned people do the same however - and that doesn’t seat well with Boxer Girl - who also complains a lot and even encourages people to complain, by the way. She seems oblivious to it though. Overall, I enjoy her company when I find myself in it, but even I see how others might find her annoying.

Rosa Parks

So, her nickname came to mind because she explained once how she, a black woman, refused to give up her seat on a train for a white woman who falsely claimed it was hers. If that weren’t enough to earn my respect, she’s the oldest of our class by a long shot and went back to school after being laid off from her previous job, all while being a single mom. That can’t be easy and I kinda admire her. She’s very level-headed and nice to talk to. Mostly hangs out with Tiny Chatterbox.

Little Miss Moody

The youngest in our class, she used to be friends with Horse Girl, but has since switched sides. I have worked on group projects with her and I have no complaints about it, she did her part well and she’s rather smart. I’m kinda taken aback by her attitude though: she usually looks uninterested or pissed off at whatever is going on around her, whether it’s class or conversation. Sometimes rude. Spends most of her time on her phone or ignoring others when she’s not with her chosen faction. 

Chainsmoking  Artist

Got in through his uncle who works for the company. Quiet but confident, good sense of humor, nice tattoos and sweet smile. Draws in class when he’s not taking notes - and he’s quite talented. Constantly smells of cigarettes. I often work with him on group projects and so far so good. I might also have a teeny tiny crush on him that I don't really wanna admit - he has a girlfriend though, forget it. Because he’s so quiet, it’s hard to tell if he’s taking sides for either Horse Girl or Boxer Girl. He appears to get along with everyone, but I can’t tell if he really is a good guy or if it’s just an act.

Aloof 

I thought very hard but I have no other word to describe him. One of the oldest of the bunch. Always late. Never pays attention, but asks for your notes later. Not a good study partner - in fact, everyone does their best to avoid being paired with him on group projects. It’s not that isn’t smart, he just doesn’t pick up the tempo and wastes time on pointless things. Very weird and quirky, which I don't mind, but also rude, which I do mind. That whole package makes him akin to a 30-year-old toddler and has isolated him from everyone; basically, only Chainsmoking Artist hangs out with him.

So, why is this bunch troubling me so? Technically, they’re not. But all this hypocrisy has been getting to my head. I haven’t been this concerned with the impression I made - other than being professionnal - or how people perceived me, in a long time. In a different setting, a class like this might be an opportunity for seeking friendships, but what kind of friendship is based of wondering if the other party genuinely likes your company or if they dispise you and are putting up a front to make fun of you behind your back?

Okay, I might have a slight bullying-related PTSD, but surely that doesn’t explain the unfriendly atmosphere every one in three weeks. On the surface, I get along with almost everyone, which doesn’t mean that I like them. I’m friendly when I can, polite when I must. Should you dig a little deeper, it’s rare for me to keep conversation going if I’m alone with anyone - then again, it’s rare for me to do so in most circumstances. But head my words: none of the people mentionned above is my friend. None is my enemy either. I refuse to get pulled further in their stupid conflict, and if they had a problem with it, they can come to me - which they won’t, since it would require speaking their mind, for once.

In any case, what a way to end a I-don’t-even-know-how-long hiatus. I’ve been busy - again. In my defense, work, studies and anxiety barely left me any time for myself. I’ll dwell more on that in another post. For now, take care 💜

Until next time 😉

[italicwatches]

[Legacy content] My Hero Academia - Episode 06

One of these days I will figure out how to stop taking on way too much. Today, is not that day. Anyways, it’s My Hero Academia, episode 06! Here we GO!

-We begin with Izuku’s display from last time, the fingertip SMASH that got him through…And Shota seeing that the kid’s got a long way to go, but there’s a sharp, quick brain in that fluffy head…And that’s the really important piece.

-Opening!

-And of course, people are watching, with their different opinions. opinions. Ochaco is super excited to see a result from Izuku. Tenya sees the way his finger is all fucked up, and is starting to see the way Izuku’s power is too much for the kid’s body to handle. And Katsuki…Katsuki is gobsmacked, because he KNOWS Izuku shouldn’t have that Quirk…But somehow, he does…And he races forward, wanting answers and willing to tear Izuku apart to get the—

-Which is when Shota, in full Eraser Head display, snatches Katsuki right up and holds him down, locking his Quirk long enough to get the kid to stop. And it works…But it can’t sap the rage, even as Izuku has his new friends all concerned about him…

-Then flash back, to simpler, more innocent times. When young Katsuki and Izuku were friends, not enemies…But even then, Katsuki held a belief in his superiority, a belief that has only been hardened and strengthened over the years…

-Episode 06! Rage, You Damn Nerd

-So Izuku fought against the pain of his nearly-broken finger for the rest of the day, and did his other tests…Of course, the pain weakened his results. But he got that one good result, so, as they look at the lineup…Down at the bottom…Is…Izuku’s name? Did he truly fail…?

-Nope. Shota fucked with y’all. Little stakes to put fire under your asses. (Alternatively, he saw there really is potential in Izuku and so rescinded) And everyone is relieved…Well, except for Katsuki, as Shota goes to get gone. You’ll find the syllabus and such back in the classroom…Oh and Izuku, here’s a note for the nurse, go get your finger fixed up. Everyone be ready for things to ramp up tomorrow.

-Izuku is left with the note, and knowing he’s starting at last place…But he can fix it…He can push things up…

-While All Might finds Shota, because he knows the guy really is willing to cut loose anyone who he feels lacks potential. So indeed, Shota sees potential in Izuku. If someone can’t push any higher, they get cut. The kid has the brains to push himself higher, and just needs raw time to get the control down. And of course, Shota notices how supportive of Izuku that All Might’s being…

-Later that day, Izuku is all healed up, but he’s also fuckin’ exhausted, because Recovery Girl’s power uses one’s own stamina to fuel the healing process. Which is great, but it means something as simple as undoing the one finger has Izuku feeling like he ran a marathon. On his way out after the schooldays is done, Tenya finds him, and the two end up talking, and then Ochaco finds them both! And she’s eager to make friends here, and these two are both good guys who seem like they’d be good friends…

-And she ends up calling Izuku ‘Deku’, and he has to admit it’s a mocking nickname Katsuki stuck on him…But then she mentions how it sounds a lot like a cheer, and Izuku is immediately willing to go by Deku forevermore if this cute nice girl likes it. Much to Tenya’s confusion, but he just doesn’t know what it is to be a kid so awkwardly caught up in a crush. And still, while Izuku has some difficulties, and he’s starting at the bottom…He’s got friends. He’s got people who have his back and care about him. That’s something, right, All Might?

-All Might, though, has his own concerns. He’s deeply, deeply worried that Izuku won’t be able to keep up when shit gets real the very next day…

-And then it’s the next day, where the real classes start. The thing is, the real classes also include, like, normal education. English, Math, shit like that. The cafeteria food is a solid meal, nutritious and calorie-dense for lunch, because after everybody chows down, it’s…

-Hero Basic Training. And in Class 1-A, in comes ALL MIGHT! With a classic, Silver Age style costume firmly on, as he makes a display of starting things off with combat training! And to go with it…Your first costumes, based on your Quirks and any specific requests in your applications! Get your suit, hit the dressing room, and then meet him at Combat Center Beta!

-And soon, the crowd begins to filter through into the battlegrounds, in the costumes they requested…In the identities they forged. They are not just students. Right here, in this, they, are, heroes. Heroes in training, but heroes all the same…!

-Commercial break!

-And we are back! We get a quick explanation of how the hero costume system works here. Basically, when you apply, you also include a full set of measurements, any ideas you had for your costume, any thematics you want, all that sort of stuff. This is then gone over by a full designer, who passes the final intended piece on to a manufacturer with an exclusive contract with the school.(Whether or not they’ll also handle redesigns, replacements and repairs for graduates, or if they have to go fend for themselves like all the other heroes, is unstated) It’s a good system, one that gets you feeling like the hero you want to be…

-And three weeks ago, Izuku too had to go figure his out…He was registered as “None” on his official forms with the city, but of course, it’s hardly uncommon for someone to learn their power actually works differently than they thought upon further experimentation…Hell, he wouldn’t even be the first person to think he had no Quirk, but found out he just hadn’t figured out how to kick it on…

-But his special clothes weren’t to be made by the city. Because his mother…His mother went and made a suit based on his designs she saw in his notebook. Because for years, she felt horrible guilt over what she said when Izuku was young. Over not supporting him enough, over not having his back when he chased this dream…But this, this simple jumpsuit, was the first thing she could do to try and change that. To try and show her support, for her amazing son…

-Which is why Izuku, catching up, isn’t wearing some flashy outfit made by the school’s best. He’s not clad in high-tech molecularly manipulated battle armor. He’s in simple cloth, sturdy boots, with hand-stitched designs down his sides, and a mask with tufts reminiscent of All Might’s hair. Because this outfit, simple and perhaps childish as it is…Holds more than the sum of its parts. It’s embodies his mother’s faith in him. It embodies everything he’s worked so hard to reach. It doesn’t need to be fancy, it doesn’t need to be stylish…It just needs to be him.

-And when he gets out, having taken longer to get dressed than the others, Ochaco spots him. And she likes his look! It’s really down-to-earth, you know? Like you’re one of the people, and that’s super cool! While she’s wishing she’d gone more specific with hers, because she got stuck with this skintight bodysuit…

-Much to the amazement of shorty over there. Fuck you shorty, you ain’t in this ship. While All Might can see how blatantly Izuku’s mask mimics his features. The mouthpiece looking like a cartoonish version of his broad grin, the antenna like his blonde tufts…Oh Izuku you adorable, absurd little fanboy.

-And then Tenya, in his full battle armor, would like to know if they’re doing mock battles like the entrance exam. Nope! Instead, he’s got some numbers to drop on you kids. So most well-documented villain fights take place outside…But most conflicts, and most villainous actions, start indoors. The entrance exam proved you can fight out in the open. But you need to be ready to fight in close quarters. Which is why they’ll be doing 2-on-2 mock battles, dealing with other humans!

-The questions come hot and fast, as EVERYONE QUIET UNTIL HE IS DONE EXPLAINING PLEASE. So. Here’s your scenario. Each duo assigned the Villain role will be tasked with hiding a timer, representing a nuclear bomb, somewhere in the building as their hideout. The Hero duo going after them, then, will be tasked with finding and disposing of it. If the villains can stop them from finding it, or disposing it, before the timer runs out…Well, there you go.

-And because you can never be sure just who you’ll have to face, or what other hero might show up, you’ll be getting your assignments by drawing lots! Get your ticket and find the person with the matching ticket! So teams start forming…Notably, Izuku and Ochaco are teamed up, and shorty got paired with the only girl wearing even more revealing clothes than Ochaco. Tenya got stuck with Katsuki, also…

-And with teams assigned…It’s Team A and Team D! Izuku’s and Katsuki’s! They’re first up, as Katsuki is at full fury…But Izuku steels his will, and looks Katsuki right back in the fucking eye, before our villains are sent in to set up…

-And Tenya is soon looking at the placed “bomb”, a humongous thing…And Katsuki demands to know how that fucking shit’s powers work…He’s going to tear Deku apart!

-While Ochaco and Izuku are outside, reading, and Ochaco has ditched her ridiculous helmet…But Izuku is in a bad spot, all kinda freaking out. Katsuki’s been a thorn in his side since he was a kid…But as he locks his facemark in place…He’s not going to lose here. He’s not going to let that brute push him around any more…!

-And Ochaco is kinda fired up, because yeah she is totally down for seeing a fated battle between men being manly men. (head canon, I think she just wants to see Izuku get all sweaty and shiny. She’s got the look of someone with hidden thirst.)

-And Izuku tries to play it down, but she’s at full jam, ready to have his back! And then it’s go time, as All Might sends them in…Everyone else is left to watch the display in the monitor room, as Izuku and Ochaco slip in through a window…Izuku knows he doesn’t have full control over One For All. He can’t dial it back to a safe level. If he punched Katsuki with that, he’d kill the guy. Which means he needs to just rely on his wits, his basics, and his teammate’s Zero Gravity…

-But Izuku’s also been analytical from the start. He’s always been thinking. Always been watching, learning, analyzing other heroes. So even now, he knows to be careful, to watch his blind spots, and slice the pi—

-KATSUKI ALL UP IN

-Izuku hauls Ochaco to one side with him as they both dive down, barely avoiding the massive explosion Katsuki kicks out! Half of Izuku’s mask is shredded, as Izuku’s not surprised the fucker came right at him from the start…But as everyone else watches, Katsuki’s already planning to take this right up to the limit! You better get ready, Deku, you’re gonna fucking need that nu—

-Izuku just moves right into Katsuki’s guard, grapples him up, and flips the sumbitch overhead in a single blow, using only his core body’s strength…You ALWAYS start with that big right hook, Katsuki…You don’t think he’s been watching, this whole time? You don’t think he’s been paying attention…? That name you gave him, that name Deku…It’s not going to mean ‘useless’ anymore, Katsuki! It’s going to be a cheer! And Ochaco realizes that’s what she told him just the other day…

-While Katsuki forces his way back to his feet, seeing the fear in Izuku’s eyes…The fear that’s always pushed him to a rage, as what little self restraint he had goes bye-bye…!

-Credits!

Come on, Izuku. You can take him. He’s broad, he’s not thinking. That’s not a thinking man you’re fighting, but a raging beast. Use that head of yours, and take him down…!

Well, we’ll have to see if he can pull it off next time, in episode SEVEN of My Hero Academia! Wait for it!

[lillerblg-blog]

I upload my reflection on ‘how have I got here?’

drawing 

I hated drawing. Okay, that’s not 100% true. I still remember, when I was younger around 5, I always did drawing about tale characters, some fantasy drawing and my mom said they’re beautiful and like everyone else I did believe it too. So when I went to primary school I loved art lessons and once I participated in an art competition and when I shown my final painting to my teacher I asked her ‘is it nice?’ my teacher said ‘no’ (here I was so sad for a second) and she continued ‘this is not nice, this is beautiful Lili’. I don’t know why I still remember this conversation this clear, but probably because this was my first sense of achievement in art.

however, later, in high school I didn’t really cared about art or drawing, I didn’t think about choosing a career of arts. but when me and my family moved to London (I was 15) I went to a normal high school and I chose art&design as a subject and I truly loved it, it helped me to fell in love with art again. I’m so grateful for those years as I decided I wanna work with art somehow. 

I went back to Hungary after finishing with GCSEs, and I was attending to an art high school, I was studying art history, graphics and academic drawing by models. I liked that I surrounded by Hungarian students so I finally understood everything and I could make some friends, but on the other hand I didn't really like the school method. I had one-day long academic drawing practice lectures on every week and we drew ‘still life’ and portraits or full-length drawings about live models. They tried to teach me what I missed in the past 2 years (I dropped in the middle of the course) but it was just impossible me. They expected me and us to draw exactly what we see in front of us, it had be correct by scale, size, shadows, shades, everything like pros did in last century. It was really cool if you were good in drawing, but if you weren’t then you could feel isolated and  ‘excommunicate’. Plus, all of the BA courses based on academic drawing skills (don't know why, so stupid, I don't think so that there is connection between graphic design and drawing skills, but never mind) so if you wanna get into a uni then you need to pass the 3-steps application process where the second step is a practice exam drawing full-length by live model (1. portfolio and 3. interview). I felt so hopelessness and futureless as I hated drawing and also wasn’t good in it at all.

I didn’t went to uni in Hungary in the end, I rather came to London within that to UAL to study graphic design and I still happy for this decision.

as I explained, it seems I always loved drawing in the depth of my soul just those years in Hungary, they really pushed me to believe I’m terrible in drawing and I shouldn't do it. however, I wanted to change on this old habit that I don't draw, so I bought a small journal sketchbook and now I'm making sketches about what I see on my way home, these are normally made on buses or trains. I know its not a big deal, but for me it is, I'm really proud of myself to get rid of the thought that I'm not good in drawing.

3D

I’ve done something which I could say similar to 3D in Part 1 on a Catch Up Day. it was a 10 minutes challenge to connect two elements together without sticking, so I made this geometric straw pyramid. I really enjoyed the method and also was satisfied with the outcome. 

I would do more 3D works in the future if it will be available and have time to spend on it.

photography

in high school I had photography lessons and also did my GCSE in it. that was the first time in my life holding an expensive real camera in my hand, I remember I couldn't even use it. of course, later on I got used to how to use them and also I truly enjoyed the projects and all of the things what we have done at photography lessons.

at the beginning of foundation course I set up a photoshoot for my blind date project, and I think it went well. it was a bit weird that I had to do the photoshoot about a ‘stranger’ I mean it was a little uncomfortable to tell instructions to her, but I feel this feeling in me doesn't come up on the outcomes.

I enjoyed to do and set up the photoshoot, and because of this feeling in me I became interested in photography, moreover in photo manipulations, what possibilities do we have, both manual and computer-based.

to be honest I'm pretty bad in technical things however also very interested in, so I would be very happy to be able to attend on a photoshop class or something, because I realised it doesn't matter how interested I feel, I can't learn it by myself just by watching videos.

film

filming is not really my world but I was always impressed by effects and creative solutions. so I'm interested in how each films was made by, but I wouldn't do as a job, I rather just watching them.

animation

I kinda have the same feeling to animation like to film. I always so amazed by truly creative animations and more amazed by how they did it, how they were created. 

print

I very like prints especially lino prints. I like the most about linos that they are multipliable as many times as I want it and by this I had the opportunity to print them in different colour see which one is matches the most. I also like the cutting process due to I like detailed works, I like to work carefully and be able to take my time.

the ‘biggest’ lino cut I made is an eight-sheets book and it took me 2 or 3 months to finish as it is a coloured lino, more precisely I used 5 colours.

typography

when we were doing the typography project at the beginning -to be honest- I didn't really like it as it seemed a bit dry, boring. however, later on as we worked on the project it began to be interesting and I started to enjoy it. at the end, it was one of my favourite projects. I learned that typography is really the base of every piece of graphic design, without a good edited typography even the greatest work can be looked awful.

this is my final outcome at this project, and I honestly enjoyed it despite the fact that at the beginning I thought it will be boring and ‘dry’.

book arts

I like making books and also liked the book project, especially the first two one-day projects, both the group and individual one. I liked the group project because it was great to cooperate with classmates and set up a book together where all of the decisions were made together too. however, I enjoyed the individual project as well as I explored how different things can we create using an old book, in my opinion it was really beneficial and useful for further book projects too.

research

of course, I like to do researches especially hand-on researches like experimenting, watching movies & interviews or visiting related exhibitions. I think these ways of getting information is more useful and lasting on longer term as I remember more easily what I experience, see or watch.

I can't even imagine a project without research, I search for related images or articles inevitably anyway.

group work

I truly enjoy group works & critics every time we have it. at the beginning, I didn’t want to take part in group things because I felt shy and uncomfortable due to my weak English but after couple of times I realised it’s doesn’t matter, the point is to describe my thoughts as clearly as I can and don’t worry about the rest. moreover, in my opinion I found group critics very beneficial, it helped me a lot particularly when I got stuck in the middle of the project or just wasn’t sure about my ideas.

one-day project

I found beneficial these short projects as well as longer ones, this is because in my opinion these shorter projects help us to get a taste and get the feeling & mood to an upcoming projects. I could learn a lot from these teaser days. if it would be possible, I would do at least one one-day project at the start of every project.

this is my ‘how have I got here’ reflection, I hope you will be able to understand my thoughts and opinion despite of my grammar.