#just jealous of his swag to be honest

[bakurasvampire]

love when artists draw yb with little black jelly bacelets. like yes king, werk it with ur emo ass jelly bracelets like u just stole those from a hot topic from the early 2000s!!!!

[s1m0nth3swag]

Gotta yap about my Dead boy boyfriends sorry chat

Like

I physically need to talk about them but my friends haven't watched the show yet (WATCH IT OTS SO GREAT AAHHHHH)

Some short imagines/ short scenario type of stuff? Idk

Not proofread (atp I don't know what that word means ngl I never proofread my studf)

It is currently 11pm for me, I am tired, this probably sucks but I do not care actually

☆ Imagine meeting the two for the first time and you genuinely cannot speak because they're both a little too gorgeous, I mean, Edwin slays his outfit and Charles has the biggest brown eyes. Pretty boys fr

★ I just think that, if you're another ghost, Edwin would like you more at first, if you're alive, Charles would (because of the whole Charles hates being dead thing and Edwin doesn't like being around the living)

☆ In this scenario, let's play with you being alive and (mostly) well. Involved in one of their cases, maybe, or you went into Jennys shop to get meat or something (if you don't eat meat pretend you're cooking a meal for a friend or something)

★ Probably immediately you kinda notice a strange aura (totally not Charles staring you down because he's never seen someone as cool and swag as you) - and let's be honest you aren't even surprised when you meet Crystal and she's looking at the corner all weird.

☆ meeting them again however, you probably just had some near death experience (maybe you wandered into a haunted house, or you somehow got involved in the whole Esther business) and you probably don't even care that ghosts exist because yeah, kinda checks out

★ Charles is probably immediately on your heel (Edwin is just the tiniest bit jealous) asking you all sorts of questions (Edwin is just the tiniest bit interested as well)

☆ getting to know them better, Edwin finds he quite likes yapping about cases with you (my autistic ghost boy needs someone that ACTUALLY listens to what he says) he will be overjoyed if he starts talking about a case and you go "Oh wasn't that the one where.." because yes!! It was that case! You remembered!! Good job!!!

★ I feel like the whole relationship would come along naturally at some point. Just you complaining how you can't sleep because your pillow is too warm and both of them offering to stay with you since ghosts are pretty cold

☆ they have the mutual agreement that they're somewhat sharing your affection since you give both of them the same. They'll just have conversations like "did you already tell them [...]" and "Oh, yeah I did could you do [...] for them?" Already being fully in the mindset of 'we can and will make this work with three people'

★ I think Charles would actually have a more difficult time when the relationship officially starts though. He just has so much affection for you and Edwin that he's almost bursting, but Edwin doesn't always like touch so he has ti be careful and look for the signs and you actually have to keep yourself up and cared for instead of being able to cuddle 24/7

☆ Just a silly boy struggling with not kissing and hugging both his partners at all times (though he has two hands, and will be the middle part whenever the three of you walk somewhere.)

☆ Edwin is more a acts of service type of guy while Charles, obviously, is big on physical touch, so whenever Charles holds you back from doing laundry or the dishes, Edwin will do it for you so you can chill out

★ doesn't mean you don't do things for the boys, though. You regularly get books for Edwin (which he's happier about that he shows) and always give Charles the chance to talk to you without any judgement (same goes for Edwin, though he doesn't use that offer as often as Charles)

☆ Imagine Charles rescuing Edwin from hell and that night the three cuddle up with each other even though Edwin and Charles don't sleep, just so you can hold both of them to make sure they're still there and well

[theradicalace]

hm htf headcanons? especially any about sniffles or mime bc they’re my faves and i love hearing others’ thoughts and characterizations

say no more my friend!!

sniffles specifically is really interesting to me because i've found myself increasingly endeared and charmed by him as time has gone on. if i'm being completely honest, he reminds me a bit of myself when i was younger

projection aside, i've really started to enjoy his character! i think the thing that stands out most to me that i don't see many people acknowledge is how little he thinks through his ideas and plans. he comes up with these convoluted and complex inventions as solutions to incredibly mundane problems with little to no thought to the potential consequences. dropped a glass of milk? lets build a time machine to go back to right before that! friend has a cold? let's build a shrinking sub to go inside her body and kill the germs directly!! let's make a slime blob creature and immediately take it out for a walk in public after getting melted by it!! surely there's no way any of this could backfire!

that all sort of lends itself to my specific characterization of sniffles being a bit less.. straight laced? than other people tend to portray him. it's pretty common to write him as the straight man of the cast, especially in comparison to nutty and his off the wall behavior, and to an extent it's true enough, but i tend to characterize him as a little more reckless and rough around the edges. the type of guy who doesn't mind breaking into someplace if there's something inside that he wants. he Can and Will lie to the cops.

mime, on the other hand, i've been fond of since day one by virtue of being Silly. also, i am incredibly jealous of the gender fuckery they've got going on. hashtag goals honestly. i don't have their characterization super totally nailed down yet other than that they radiate trans autism swag and i like them. just a silly little guy (adjacent) who i enjoy watching the antics of

[obey-me-snippets]

"Congratulations," Ezeria says as they enter the library. "You four have made it to the semi-finals of potential boyfriends."

"I'll be honest," Satan says. "I can understand why Belphegor is here, but I'm not sure how I feel about the other two guys being Leviathan and Mammon."

"Yeah," Belphegor agrees. "They're the biggest pieces of trash in our house."

"Hey!" Mammon snaps. "We're right here."

"Yeah," Leviathan says. "Don't lump me in with that scum."

"Oh my god," Ezeria laments. "Can you guys shut up for one second? You'd think you'd be more excited."

"I am excited!" Leviathan beams. "I knew there was a small, infinitesimal chance, but this is even better than getting an ultra rare, limited edition card first pull."

"Ugh, you are such a nerd," Belphegor groans. "Don't you ever talk like a normal person?"

"His loserboy swag has bewitched me," Ezeria says bluntly. "Stop giving him such a hard time just because you're jealous."

"Thank you...?" Ezeria can't tell if Levi is grateful or offended.

"I'm not jealous," Belphegor snaps, but his sour expression says otherwise.

"Well I am," Satan states. "Though I would prefer that I didn't get here through my 'loserboy swag.'" He raises his eyebrows questioningly as he says it. "I would much rather bewitch Ezeria in other ways."

"See, that's why you're here, Satan!" Ezeria praises. "These guys are cute and all, but it's so refreshing to have someone be straightforward with me about their feelings."

Satan smiles smugly.

"Doesn't hurt that you're a smooth talker, either."

"I'm a smooth talker too!" Mammon blurts out, clearly through with not being at the center of the conversation. "I make Ezeria blush all the time."

"Do you, though?" Belphegor sounds skeptical.

"Yes!"

"I've never seen it."

"You're always asleep!"

[sayhwaet]

Deep Dive

NAME: Beowolf 

BODY 

height: 178cm 

strength ★★★☆☆ 

dexterity ★★★★☆  

health ★★★★☆ (A pretty hardy type of man, doesn't get sick often. Doesn't go out of his way to take care of his body, but also doesn't necessarily live an unhealthy or excessively dangerous lifestyle) 

energy ★★★★☆ (Generally in favor of conserving energy, but he does have more of it than average) 

beauty ★★★★☆ (I think he's just about average for an Agustrian man. Not exceedingly, ethereally beautiful or fine featured in the way the Nordions are, but a rugged handsome feller) 

style ★★☆☆☆ (More function than fashion, and definitely not a man to make a big deal of clothing or appearances) 

hygiene ★★☆☆☆ (He's a man who travels with other men) 

SKILLS 

perception ★★★★☆ (Above-average. He likes to see how a situation plays out before he throws his lot in) 

communication ★★★★☆ (Surprisingly good! I think he's not afraid to speak up, and generally makes himself pretty clear) 

persuasion ★★★☆☆ (Decent. Would have to be, since he has to negotiate contracts for himself.) 

mediation ★★☆☆☆ (He's more the type to just dip if there's a problem, especially an interpersonal one. Laters.) 

literacy ★★☆☆☆ (He can read.) 

creativity ★★★☆☆ 

cooking ★★★☆☆ 

tech savvy ★★★★☆  

combat ★★★★☆ (He's all right)  

survival ★★★★★ (Knows when to fight, and knows when to retreat.) 

stealth ★★☆☆☆ (Unfortunately, more the type to make himself known.) 

street smarts ★★★★★ (Unmatched. I think he knows what's up. He can enter any city and make five friends before he gets to the pub.) 

seduction ★★★★☆ (He has a certain Han Solo charm that ladies find appealing, but I don't think he's particularly slutty.) 

luck ★★★☆☆  

handling animals ★★★☆☆  

pacifying children ★★★★☆ (Probably decent with kids, but not spectacular. Knows they need to be watched out for, and will do so unprompted. I like to think he played a mild big-brother supporting role for the younger folks in Sigurd's army) 

MIND 

intelligence ★★★★☆ (More cunning than booksmart or educated, but he's no dummy either.) 

happiness ★★★☆☆ (If it sucks, hit da bricks!) 

spirituality ☆☆☆☆☆ (Looks out for himself and the people close to him, and doesn't expect a higher power to do it for him) 

confidence ★★★★☆ (He knows he's got swag) 

humor ★★★☆☆ (I think he's more laid-back than outright comical or funny. Dependent on who's around, his sense of humor varies from boisterous in a group, to dry on his own) 

anxiety ★☆☆☆☆ (This man is so chill) 

patience ★★★★☆ (More the type to watch and wait how things pan out than the type to go rushing into things headlong) 

passion ★★★☆☆ 

nice         ★★☆☆☆     mean  

brave       ★★☆☆☆     cowardly 

pacifist     ★★☆☆☆     violent (His profession is violent, but he's been shown to be actively against excessive violence) 

thoughtful ★☆☆☆☆    impulsive   

agreeable ★☆☆☆☆     contrary 

idealistic   ★★★★★     pragmatic (Pragmatic to a fault) 

frugal        ★★☆☆☆     big spender (He's aware of the value and importance of money. I think he makes decent wages, but not enough to be considered rich) 

extrovert   ★☆☆☆☆     introvert (Such a bro, can make anyone into a homie) 

collected   ★☆☆☆☆     wild 

ambitious / possessive / stubborn / jealous / decisive / perfectionist  

SOCIAL 

charisma ★★★★☆  

empathy ★★★☆☆ (Tries to be a bit more detached, but can usually pretty easily pick up on how someone else is feeling) 

generosity ★★☆☆☆ (Doesn't give what could be traded) 

wealth ★★★☆☆  

honest   ★☆☆☆☆ deceptive (Generally very up-front and honest. I think it's gotten him in trouble more than once) 

leader   ★★★☆☆   follower (Can lead if necessary, but I don't think he likes the responsibility) 

polite     ★★★★☆  rude (Not outright rude, but I also don't think he walks on the eggshells of social convention much. Like he's not gonna belch in someone's face, but he's also unlikely to mind his p's-and-q's) 

political ★★★★☆  indifferent (Generally doesn't care much, unless he feels his employer specifically is going overboard, then he'll care – but only enough to tell them to fuck off and leave, not enough to fight for any specific cause simply for the virtue of it all) 

BELIEFS 

higher power ★☆☆☆☆ (I don't think he gives it much thought) 

fate/destiny ★☆☆☆☆ (Same as above) 

magic ★★☆☆☆ (Has probably heard of people that use magic, but I doubt he's seen many of them in person before joining Sigurd's army. Definitely one of those things that's for other people) 

soulmates ★★☆☆☆ (Wouldn't that be a funny ol world, if there were someone whose heart was the match to his missing pieces? It would take a lot to get him to admit it out loud.)

good and evil ★★★☆☆ (Can't really afford to be a dreamer and make a stand, and is flexible enough to utilize a grey-morality view of the world. There are lines he won't cross and won't allow others to cross in his presence, but usually he won't hold a grudge against them if he needs to work with them in the future. I emphasize usually specifically about Arvis by the way - he will be holding a grudge about that, Erica)

luck ★★★☆☆ (Referenced in his death quote, but I don't think luck as a concept is necessarily something that he subscribes to or relies on. He picks his battles according to his understanding of his capabilities, and that's how he's gotten this far) 

PRIORITIES 

family ★★☆☆☆ (I don't think much of his blood family remains, and though he might occasionally consider his merc buddies family while they're working together, it's a tentative relationship that he's prepared to leave at any time) 

friends ★★☆☆☆ (See above) 

love ★☆☆☆☆ (Would be nice to have he thinks, but isn't going out of his way for it.) 

home ☆☆☆☆☆ (I don't think he has any particular loyalty to Agustria, nor any other location for that matter. He keeps the concept of home very close to the chest, but I don't think he's actively trying to build or maintain a sense of home for himself. Like he's not actively putting down roots.) 

health ★★★★★ (All about numero uno, baybee.) 

praise ★★★☆☆ (Likes it. Gives him a big head. Won't go out of his way for it, though.) 

justice ★★★☆☆ (He'll quit a job if he thinks it's unjust, and I honestly think he'll get into a fight over it before he does so. Won't go on a crusade though) 

truth ★★★★☆ (Generally up front. Thinks that most interactions end up being business transactions of some kind in the end, and prefers it when both sides have the whole picture) 

power ★★★☆☆ (Understands that his fighting ability is what allows him to live the life he leads, but would never get drunk on power or the quest for it) 

fame ★★★★★ (Cant' be a successful merc if no one knows who you are, the confidence with which he asks for that 10k says it all to me) 

wealth ★★★★☆ 

others' opinions ★★★☆☆ (Like what I said about most things being a business transaction: he understands that most of the time a conversation is an interview in disguise. He won't bend over backwards to make himself more presentable or to betray his own morals, but he knows that his living relies on other people wanting him around) 

[angelhummel]

no, because I truly can't believe that I ever thought Mr. Schue was straight, if I'm being honest. like? that man was repression.

Anon - Wait THANK YOU for mentioning Bryan Ryan because there's no way they didn't fuck after that scene in the bar. There's some very swag tension between them. And like... seeing as Bryan also apparently had anger sex with Sue, it makes the Will and Sue dynamic even better to imagine them realising they both had a one night stand with him. xx

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Putting these together bc alsfjksdljds you guys have me screaming!!1!

Literallyyy like that scene w Goolsby at the bar where he's like "Stop crying. People are going to think I just broke up with you" or whatever like if that were any other pair then people would be all over it

Also ummm Will being jealous bc Bryan was the cool upperclassman that got all the solos and all the girls. He sure was jealous of those girls. I mean, jealous of Bryan!! 👀👀

That whole episode, man. Will pulls the "all the girls wanted to be with you, all the guys wanted to be you" which is already fruity. And he tells him "you had all the moves" like ?? omg

Like Will was literally with one woman his whole life. Started dating as teens bc they were both popular and that's what was easy. Never found out what he really wanted, or even liked. Stayed together for the comphet. And he literally says that music and theater and the glee club is what gave him the push he needed to get out of that marriage. The metaphors are powerful

yes i do realize that the whole last paragraph could also apply to finn and quinn (just on an earlier/quicker timeline) which would mean finn is queer and it's not that i'm saying he's not but i hate finn so much i dont want to think about him at all and that includes any and all not-straight headcanons asjfslkfjlds

[sugar-petals]

BTS Scenario: Dating a Tall Girl

a/n. inspired by anon who like me is a honorary member of the ‘taller than my bias’ assembly so let’s treat ourselves shall we 💃

warnings ⚠️  none, all fluff :)

➸ Taehyung Listen, listen. Here is the MVP. I mean think about it. Why’d you not put a model next to the shining man who embodies Gucci, Dolce, Gabbana, Versace, Armani, Prada, the Italian and French spirit! He can’t help but wanting to put designer clothes and accessories on her and show up together with her to stun at social events. That’s a lot of press and praise they’ll be getting. It’s only logical. Presents galore are on their way, she will be terribly spoiled and revered and he’ll admit he’s absolutely overdoing it. And then again, she’s also his number one cuddlebot and girl to hug in his sleep. No longer embracing pillows for this gent, and you can imagine he is in good hands. To summarize: It’s an all-round good idea.

➸ Seokjin Has been praying for a 6′2 queen for years. Being way on eye level with the number one worldwide handsome man sure is like a knighting or hitting the jackpot. Definitely knows how its like up there and will laugh at silly or embarrassing head bumping stories together with her. Tall life is like being a disoriented stormtrooper in a tiny ass spaceship, let’s be honest. Or they go on endless rants about never finding the right trousers because legs legs legs. Some Jinmoney has to solve that problem with a personal tailor am I right. As for their favorite activity: Jin will paddle out on a lake regularly to do some fishing together. Four long arms have a better chance than just two, so. It’s not the biggest ever deal to him, Seokjin doesn’t think it’s her utmost defining feature in their relationship.

➸ Yoongi Our open-minded fella (funny way to put it but you’ve heard him destroying ideal type stereotypes at fansigns a hundred times) who, despite being the smallest in the group, aims high in his usual manner. What Yoongi wants, Yoongi loves, and Yoongi gets. Or... does he date her to feel extra cute? Maybe so, maybe so! If he admits it, he’s a little bit jealous of her height, but also deeply protected. What other gf could feel like home and have such major roommate vibes. In his practical mind, and with time in particular, things get much more sorted out. If she has what he can’t have, and he himself is perky pocket size, why not fully capitalize on it. Yoongi will also draw inspiration for his songs out of her looks. 

➸ Jimin So, the sweet mochi man it is. A more difficult case. Will, as you might already suspect, take some time to get used to this when it plays out in daily life. But I think he’s gonna realize something. Just because he’s the tiny one, it doesn’t mean he’s less loved or gets overlooked because that’s what he fears, not actually being too smol. In fact, he owns his height really well once he knows he’s not ignored. Now: All the heaps of her affection arguably can’t be stored in his height but surely in his fluffy hair that can hold all the compliments in the world. So there’s that. What is gonna be immense fun to him is doing athletic activities with her. It’s always a sexy thing to do couple yoga or latin dance as a height difference pair. I think at the bottom of his heart, Jimin knows he makes the best little spoon.

➸ Hoseok What he thinks about her height? Swag! Looks up to her literally and figuratively and he enjoys it. Meanwhile, a lot of situational comedy will arise, I’m telling you. Hobi is going to tease her a bit for her occasionally lanky dancing if he dares. Maybe after a beer or two. She will simply say it’s ‘exquisitely Namjoonesque’ and call it a day. Nobody in their right mind will argue about their own jopping skills in front of Jung Hoseok. Now, in all seriousness. If his mixtape is blasting she will unlock new levels of moving her body, what did you think! He is definitely impressed by her physique and you know... the making out will be steamy out in public because this girl makes Hoseok reckless oh my god.

➸ Namjoon Talk about Joonie. We’ve heard he likes tall girls. And hey, the man is equipped with delicious logic, he got this figured out from the start. You gotta make the couple proportions work you know. So of course he won’t hesitate to ask her out once he worked out her character and if he’s her taste. Past that point, overcautious Namjoon is out the door, RM will take over from there. All of town quickly spreads the word because this double tower power simply cannot be overlooked strutting down the pavements. And, man. If Namjoon doesn’t come along with someone who can’t pinch his dimples, all that architectural efforts that God exerted when creating RM was for naught. Yeah boy, this is what a viking couple looks like. 

➸ Jungkook Frequent things he will say under his breath in reaction to her: “Just like Tyra Banks!” — “Blake Lively style!” — and even: “That was like Namjoon did it!” — Long story short, Jungkook can’t really hide his mixture of complete adoration and envy. How the world is like in her eyes is the most interesting thing to him, no wonder he’s always found by her side. So, it takes him a while to settle for a more moderate feeling about the height difference. He’s the kinda guy who formerly wished to be taller but has started to accept that he is somewhere in the middle where it’s actually a very comfortable spot as he learns. He likes to sit down with her to brush her hair or give a back massage.

art: Windflowers (1903) — by John W. Waterhouse

[malakhai-ozera]

Thread || Khai & Roman

Discord text thread featuring: Khai & @romanbeckett

Mentions: @ella-isms Landon, Jaycee, Aaron

When:  June 12th

Where: Starts at the theater and then moves to Khai’s apartment.

Description: Landon drops Khai off at the theater to meet up with Roman after he hooked up with Ella and leaves her penthouse.

Trigger Warnings: INTENSE EMOTIONS && SMUT!!!

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Ro was worried about Khai, and how couldn’t he be? He had no idea what was going on with the other male really, and that was...a weird feeling. He was always so used to being able to tell eachother anything, knowing what the other was thinking for the most part. Roman didn’t feel that way now, and it just felt so...hopeless. “C’mon, we’ll go hangout downstairs, watch some tele or something.” He assured Khai as soon as they entered the theater, leading him downstairs to the part of the theater that housed an apartment type basement with extra dressing , and costume rooms. “You hungry? I’ll make you some coffee. Relax on the couch.”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ To be honest, when Roman texted him asking if he was okay. His first though was that Landon texted him. But he felt a sense of relief. He wanted to text Roman so bad with the situation. But he also didn’t know how he’d react and he didn’t wanna hurt him. He felt he already did that enough with moving out. He followed Roman into the theater and downstairs to the fancy apartment like space. Raising his eye brows a bit as he looked around and chuckled. “Damn, Ro. You got your own little love nest down here” he teased. Walking over to the couch and taking a seat. “No, I’m good. Just come sit with me. Please.” Khai knew he just kept making a mess of things and he wished it could all just stop. He just couldn’t keep himself from feeling so passionately about the people he loved.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ “My home away from home!” He shrugged, smirking at the smaller male as he tucked his hands into his pockets. He could tell Khai was at his absolute limit, or close to it at least. Ro was just so glad that he hadn’t done anything too stupid yet. Roman nodded when Khai requested he come sit down, obliging his friend by taking a seat right next to him on the couch. He insticntly moved his arm behind the smaller, and crossed one leg over the other. “Wanna talk?”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ “I can see that. Very snazzy” he grinned. His eyes followed Roman as he walked over and took a seat beside him and his grin turned into a smile. Roman always had so much swag without even trying. “Yeah, I always wanna talk with you. How have things been? How are you?” Of course Khai already tried to deflect from himself. But he got there eventually.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Ro actually smirked, and then dropped his head back in a short laugh. Of course Khai was gonna turn this around to just a normal, everyday catch up. As if Roman had meant make regular small talk. “I’m okay. I mean, stressed to the max, and in emotional distress as usual.” He joked, and then turned so that he could face the other male better. “But, you know I’m currently more interested in how you’re doing.”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Roman’s laugh caused Khai to pull his bottom lip between his teeth. His attention was fully on the other male as per usual. His hand moving to rest on Ro’s knee. “I’m sorry, Babe. I wish there was something I could do to relieve your stress.” Licking his lips as Roman turned to face him more directly he looked down at his hand on the other males leg. “Yeah, I’m doing okay. I’m just a mess. Nothing new” he shrugged.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Khai wasn’t talking, just like he’d expected. It was like lately, he choked on the details, and really getting out what he needed to get out. Roman missed his best friend so fucking bad, even over being lovers, and roommates. He loved Khai, and wanted him to be okay, and make better choices for himself. Ro placed a hand on top of the smaller’s as he leaned forward, intense green eyes focusing on Khai before he decided to say anything. “Khai. Talk to me. What happened with Ella?”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ It definitely wasn’t like Khai to hold back so many details. I mean, sure he would beat around the bush. But this was different. He didn’t mean to be this way though. He was still just adjusting to being sober and learning to handle his emotions in a way he hadn’t felt them before. Roman placed his hand on top of his, and Khai instantly rubbed the back of his hand with his thumb. It was just natural for him to be intimate with Ro. He loved him so much, that wasn’t going to change any time soon. If ever! When Roman leaned in, Khai could feel his eyes on him and he began to tear up. “I- uh-“ he began but shook his head. “I’m such an idiot, Roman. She hurt me so bad and the first second she texts me I’m falling right back into her bed.”

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ “Khai...” Roman’s face fell when Khai finally answered his question, an answer he already knew, but hearing it come from the other man’s lips in such a heartbreaking way...he hated this. Ro knew better than anything that he’d been a huge cause of hurt for Khai as well, but that didn’t mean he could handle anyone else hurting him either. “Babe, that’s how love is. It makes us do stupid shit, it doesn’t make you an idiot, okay?” He turned his hand over so that his palm could connect with Khai’s. “We all make mistakes because we want so badly to chase that good feeling we’ve had over, and over again, even if we know it’ll never be the same.”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai held onto Romans hand tightly, lacing his fingers through his. His shaky breathing from trying not to full on cry was making his whole body shake. “I know you’re right. I mean, I am and idiot. But you’re right. I just wish I could have been this understanding for you. I know I was awful. I just love you so much and I was just so scared to lose you.” Shit, Khai. Just shut up now. Focus on Ella here. “I lost her, I pushed her. I was so jealous, and she was... she was awful and selfish. I did the same thing to you.” It was inevitable now. The tears were coming down his cheeks and he couldn’t even hide it. “Why am I such a fuck up. I don’t deserve anyone. I don’t deserve to live.” Those last words crept out of him without his control, and he wasn’t sure if he really meant them. He had never been suicidal. But the thoughts were there regardless. He just hoped Roman knew him well enough to know he’d never actually take his own life.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman furrowed his brows when Khai turned this into issues from their relationship, already shaking his head before the other could even finish talking. He didn’t want him to feel even an ounce of guilt about what happened between them, especially not to the extent of not feeling deserving of life. “Malakhai.” Roman used the man’s full name, trying to snap him out of whatever this downward spiral was that he was going through right in front of his own eyes. Ro lifted his hands now to cup both sides of the smaller’s face, green eyes darting over Khai in a worried frenzy. “Don’t you dare.” He never wanted to hear words like that come from anyone’s mouth, but especially not Khai’s. “You deserve all the fucking good in the world. Every bit of it. You deserve better than me.” He tried to convince the other. “You deserve better than all of this, and it breaks my heart that you think the opposite.”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Roman sternly said his full name and Khai’s eyes moved back up to meet the green orbs glaring back at him. Romans hands cupped around his face, giving him no other option than to settle and focus. “Roman” he breathed out. His hands coming up to rest on top of Romans on either side of his face. “That’s not true. You deserve all the happiness in the world too and how am I supposed to get better than you. When you were always the best in my eyes.” He shook his head as he licked his lips and pressed his forehead to Romans. “I’m not trying to make this about us, and I’m not gonna stop living. I just want us to be okay again. I miss the way things were. Before I made things so awkward.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath in to try and relax a bit more. His hands still shaking on top of the others. “I think I still love her Roman. She told me she missed me and that I’m carved into her brain and I just... I don’t even know what to do.” His thoughts were all over the place. But that’s what happens when you stop taking the medicine prescribed to you for ptsd and bipolar disorder. “I haven’t been taking my medicine. I’ve been trying to completely sober up. But all I wanna do is be numb.”

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Ro literally didn’t know what to say to that. He felt stunned, green eyes searching hazel, as if he was trying to figure out if he was being serious or not. Roman felt like all he’d done is make Khai feel terrible all the time, constantly second guessing if he was enough when Ro wanted more than anything for the smaller male to see what he was worth. He closed his eyes, taking in a deep inhale through his nostrils when Khai pressed their foreheads together. “Khai, we are okay.” He tried to assure the other, pulling back so that he could look him in the eyes for good measure. “As far as I’m concerned, you and I are perfectly fine. You’re one of my best friends, and I love you. All I want, is for you to be okay. You need to stop focusing on others like me, and especially Ella. Focus on you, and getting better.” He rubbed his thumb over Khai’s defined cheekbone. “You need to take your medicine, it’ll help you stay focused. And I’ll always be here to help in anyway I can. Jay, too. And Landon. All of us.”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai was a lover, there was no doubt about that, and even though Roman’s words were true. He couldn’t stop himself from focusing on them, or Ella. He loved them all so much, including Jaycee. He just felt so torn about everything. There was one thing he did know for sure though, and that was he didn’t want to lose any of them. “Roman, you’re my befriend too. I hope you always know that, no matter what. I love you.” He moved his hands from on top of Roman’s and placed them on the other males face. “I can’t stay away from her, Roman. It’s like, I know she hurt me. But...” he shook his head and pressed his lips together. He couldn’t even explain way he needed her. It was pointless to try. He pulled his hands from Romans face and wiped his tears from his cheeks. “Yeah, I know. I appreciate you guys so much. I really do” he nodded. Leaning back into the couch he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Anyway, I’m sorry for all this. I’m a fuckin mess” he laughed. Opening his eyes again as he dug his hand into his pocket for his pack of cigarettes. “Do you care if I smoke in here?”

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman just tensed his jaw a bit as he watched the other male talk, understanding how he felt, only in the way that love was complicated. “I get it.” He said simply, shaking his head when Khai apologized, and then asked if he could smoke. “Nah, I smoke in here all the time.” Roman leaned behind them to grab an ashtray off the table parallel to the couch, moving it to the coffee table in front of them after, for easier access. “Listen man, love is complicated, and you can’t control how you feel no matter how fucking bad you want to.” Ro riffled through a drawer for a blunt of his own.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ It was so awkward sitting here with his ex talking about the feelings he had for his precious ex. But, it felt nice that he could confide in him anyway. Khai knew Roman was battling with feelings of his own, but he just wished he could be as good as Roman. Talking about Aaron though, was still hard for him. But, he was trying to get to a place where Roman would feel safe opening up about it. “Thanks” he smiled as Roman grabbed the ashtray. Placing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it up. The burning sensation into his lungs felt so good right now and he couldn’t help but to sigh in relief. “I know, you’re right” he nodded. “I just don’t wanna keep making the same stupid misstates over and over ya know? She just gets me in my head and I start to feel like nothings ever changed. It’s not healthy” he practically chuckled at himself. Holding out the flame on his lighter as Roman found the blunt to light it for him. “I feel so stupid dumping all of this on you. I mean, I know it probably hurts you, and I’m sorry.” Even if Roman was acting like they were just a couple of friends talking about love right now. Their break up was still pretty fresh, and the last thing he wanted was to hurt Roman. His eyes were practically projecting the feelings he still had for Ro each time their eyes met.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman always enjoyed being around Khai. How couldn’t he? Aside the fact that he was just so goddamn beautiful to look at, Ro genuinely trusted this man so much. He told him pretty much everything, and had always felt so comfortable confiding in him. He also took it very seriously that the sentiment was returned as well. Roman liked being someone Khai could come to with his problems. “It’s not pleasant, no.” He answered the other, reaching for Khai’s cigarette so that he could steal a few puffs. He rarely smoked after quitting years ago, but he couldn’t stop the urge when he was around one. “No need to be sorry thiugh.” He passed the cigarette back with a small smirk. “You know you can always talk to me about anythin’. I can’t imagine the mindfuck this must be for you.”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Roman took his cigarette from him and he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth. He was always so sexy while smoking, and Khai couldn’t even try to not stare. Instead, he reached for the blunt and placed it between his lips for a puff. “Yeah, I know I can. And you can always talk to me too. I know I’ve been bitter about certain things. But, that’s just because I love you” he said honestly. He took another puff from the blunt before giving it back and replacing it with his cigarette and shrugged. “It’s been intense. But, you’re a great distraction.” Khai scooter closer to Roman and placed his hand on his knee giving it a squeeze. “You’re amazing you know that? I wish I could be as accepting and loving as you are.” Placing his cigarette down in the ashtray he grabbed Romans face again. “I want you to be happy. No matter what I may say out of jealousy or whatever. I just need you to know that okay?” With those words he leaned in and pressed his lips to Ro’s. Kissing him slowly and intimately, taking his time to savor each of his lips.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman looked at Khai somewhat intensely when he said those words, because...it just - words couldn’t describe how they made him feel. Khai was always so damn good at saying things...it was like constant poetry coming from his mouth on the subject of love. He was passionate, which was one of the reasons Roman had fallen for him in the first place. “I love you, too.” Ro watched the other male even closer when he moved in to place a hand on his knee, a huff of air passing his full lips when Khai said he was a great distraction. He hadn’t even realized he’d been holding his breath. He did it once again when the smaller held his face, and said everything Ro could possible want to hear. How the fuck could he do that so flawlessly? Roman practically melted into Khai when he was then kissed in a way he felt he’d never been kissed before. He chased it, eyes closed as he let the man taste each of his lips before his tongue was slipping out to beg for permission to enter the other’s mouth.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ If there was anything Khai knew for certain in this moment. It was that Roman had always been a constant. Since the moment they had met, Roman took up all the space in his head. He was in his dreams, his decision making, and most definitely always on his mind. Even after being together for a year, and breaking up the way that they did. Whenever they were together it was like nothing had changed. Roman was the one constant in his life that he had never expected. It scared him shitless to be honest. But, even the fear disappeared when he was caught up in those green eyes. As he kissed Roman he had a sudden realization that he would probably never admit. He wanted him all to himself, just the two of them. But he couldn’t do that to Jay, he knew as long as they were together. It was impossible. For now he would just let himself savor each moment he did have with Roman. Because those were the moments when he truly felt complete, and he chased that feeling to the point of exhaustion. When Romans tongue slipped against his lips, he easily parted them. Granting him permission to devour him completely as he rolled his tongue up along the roof of Ro’s mouth. There was no need for words now as his hands gripped tightly to Romans face. A soft hum of fulfillment falling against the others mouth as he finally let their tongues tangle together.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ This was a good fucking kiss. Ro reached to grab onto Khai’s forearms as he tilted his head, deepening the make out session they had already started with a low hum that vibrated through them both. God, he loved the way this man tasted, and made him feel. Honestly, if Khai had come along sooner in Ro’s fucked up journey to self discovery, they may very well be exclusive to eachother at the point. Ro smirked against Khai’s lips when he started to get really turned on, taking the opportunity to nip at the smaller’s bottom lip to signify that

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai could already tell that this was turning into something more when Roman grabbed onto his arms. It was almost as if he were trying to hold them forever in this moment, and Khai was completely okay with that. Especially when Romans hum vibrated against his lips and straight into his core. Suddenly everything that they had just talked about evaporated from his mind. It was like they were the only two people in the world, and when Roman nipped at his lips it was clear he was on the same page. Khai let his hands slide down to Romans neck and all the way down his chest. Feeling the definition of his muscles before gripping at the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head. Taking a moment to let his eyes scan the males body before removing his own shirt as well. Pushing Roman back on the couch he pulled himself over him. Reconnecting their lips in a more fervent kiss as he let his hand cup over the bulge growing in Romans pants. “God, you’re so perfect” he hummed into the kiss. Rubbing the other man firm but slow over the fabric of his pants.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ You know that amazing sensation that washes all over your body to your toes, exciting you, and making you pant all at the same time? That pleasure that takes you so off guard, and not even because of direct contact? Yeah, Khai gave Roman that feeling every damn time they touched.  His cheeks started to flush when he felt the other’s hand travel down his neck to his chest, letting the other male take his shirt off prior to pushing him back on the couch. He went easily too, moaning immediately into the kiss when Khai’s lips were back on his, though he gasped when he felt a hand on his erection. “Mmm you are...” Ro managed to mumble against Khai’s beautiful lips while he lifted his hips, flexing his cock against the smaller’s touch through his clothing. “You drive me fucking crazy, y’know that?” Roman finally asked when they pulled apart, normally bright green eyes now darkened by dilated pupils.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ It was quite obvious that Roman did things to Khai that he couldn’t even put into words. It was like his entire body had caught fire with just one touch. Roman was exquisite in every possibly way. From the sounds of his moans all the way down to the movement of his hips. Khai was addicted in the most superlative way. He broke the kiss to slowly kiss down Romans chest as his hand continued to rub against him. His eyes gazing back up at him as a smirk spread across his features. “Good, i like driving you crazy” he said with mirth as his free hand worked on getting Romans belt undone. Pulling it forcefully from his pants before undoing them and yanking them down eagerly. Khai licked his lips as he took in the sight of Romans erection and he  leaned down to roll his tongue around the tip. Undoing his own pants and kicking them off before taking Roman fully in his mouth and tasting him.(edited)

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Khai’s lips on his chest, his scruff on Ro’s smooth skin, it was enough to make him breathe even harder than he already was. He almost felt dizzy at this point, the weed making him feel even more tingly than he would normally feel. That was saying a lot. Roman made a small whimper like noise when Khai just snapped his belt out of his jeans like that, and then makes fast work of getting him naked so that he could get Roman’s cock in his mouth. “God, babe...” he reached for Khai’s dark hair, tugging it, and licking his lips as he watched him work. “I love your fucking mouth.”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai loved having Romans cock in his mouth. The way it swelled between his lips and the way he tasted. It was enough to get him hard alone. Adding the sounds he was making and the words he was saying, and Khai was on cloud nine. Sliding his hands beneath Roman to grab his ass and squeeze it tightly to lift him even further into the back of his throat. “Mmm” he hummed with a  deep moan vibrating against Ro’s cock. His eyes watching every expression on the other males face as he guided him to fuck his mouth harder.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman was well aware of how much Khai enjoyed giving him head, and he was never, ever going to complain. His hips lifted as the smaller’s hands slid under him to grasp his ass, moaning as he began to really fuck himself up into Khai’s mouth, going down his throat with every single thrust. Roman was far from manageable with it came to his size, so the fact that the other male could take him like this always turned him on so fucking much. “Khai...” the name left his lips in a breathy rasp while his free hand slid up his body, over his own nipples, and then around his neck to restrict his airflow a bit. It always made his orgasms so much more intense.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ The feeling of Romans cock slamming into the back of his throat was something Khai could never get enough of. Which always made it hard for him to stop once he had started. But when he felt that Roman was about to cum he forced himself to  pull away. Grabbing Romans wrist to pull his hand away from his own neck as he laid back and pulled Roman over him. “I want you to fuck me” he said, with a hint of desperation lacing his words. This was something Khai had hardly ever asked for if ever. The act of being fucked by a man still leaving him a bit rattled after his past. But he didn’t care. He wanted to feel Roman inside of him, he needed it. “Please” he whispered with a soft whimper. His body already starting to tremble with need as he grabbed hold of Romans waist and pulled him between his legs.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Ro was taken off guard when Khai pulled away, and asked Roman to fuck him. He could probably count on one hand how many times he’d been asked to do so with Khai, so he knew how much it meant for the man to ask for it now. He smirked down at the smaller’s gorgeous face as he nodded, sticking his fingers into his mouth so that he could generously coat them with spit prior to getting them between Khai’s cheeks. Ro leaned down to catch his lips as he slowly attempted to open Khai up with no lube. He was gentle enough, not wanting to hurt the other male if he could at all avoid it.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai watched Roman wet his fingers with his mouth and his lips parted with desire. How was it possible that he looked that fucking sexy just sucking on his fingers. It didn’t seem possible that this moment could get any better. But once Roman was placing his fingers between his cheeks and working to open him up. Khai could barely contain the moan that flowed from his mouth. Fuck, he was an expert. He always knew just how to handle him and it drove him insane, in the best way. Leaning his head back slightly from the pressure of Romans entrance he kissed Roman back slowly. Finding it hard to keep his lips from parting with ecstasy as he nipped at Romans bottom lip. “Fuu-ck baby” he growled deeply. Clenching his teeth together as his hand gripped tightly to the back of Ro’s hair. He let his legs tighten around Romans waist and he pulled  him even deeper into him. His other hand digging into the side of Ro’s neck as his thumb pressed firmly against his Adam’s apple. “Fuck me” he breathed out shakily. His hazel eyes burning into the green orbs staring back at him with intense need.(edited)

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman was so turned on, that he was honestly surprised that he could even function right now. Khai just...how was he even supposed to describe this hold that Khai had over him? It was something that only made sense to them, and Ro clearly had no complaints on the matter. He huffed out a small breath when Khai grabbed his neck, and began pressing down. His eyes looked almost black now as he looked down at the other male with parted lips, a small groan vibrating through to the other’s thumb as he began to do what he was told. If Khai wanted to be fucked, then Ro was gonna fuck him. He began to snap his hips, slamming into his lover over, and over again, each time getting deeper, until he was nailing his prostate.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai loved that he really didn’t have to say much to get Roman to comply. Roman knew him inside and out, and that was only just one of the reasons why he was so willing to give himself completely. When Roman began thrusting his hips into him, his eyes fluttered shut and his lips parted with sheer ecstasy. His hand gripping tighter around Ro’s neck the harder Roman slammed into him. “Fuck... yesss” he hissed. Slightly lifting his upper body from the couch to bite at Ro’s jawline as he felt him thrust deep into his prostate. The pain mixed with pleasure that he was feeling right now caused his entire body to shake. His muscles tightening throughout his entire body as he pulled his hand from Romans hair. Placing his fingers into his mouth before reaching down to press them between Roman’s flexing cheeks.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman mad a small strained noise when Khai tightened his grip, feeling himself get pushed even closer to the edge. Khai was so fucking hot, and tight, it was hard to really hold himself together. Fuck. His teeth at Ro’s jaw, his fingers at his entrance, the man must be trying to actually KILL him, and honestly, what a way to go?? “Khai...” he moaned, still thrusting the best he could, though slowing to keep himself from exploding before his lover could.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ When Roman slowed his thrusts it practically sent Khai reeling over the edge. His mouth gapping open as he fell back onto the couch and his body began to tremble even more uncontrollably. “Fuck Roman... don’t stop” he moaned as he felt himself release all over the males chest. His hand so tight around Ro’s neck now he was most definitely blocking all passage of air.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ When Khai exploded all over his chest, Ro felt like he might actually die from how hot it was. Maybe that was just the whole choking thing, putting death in his mind, because he most definitely couldn’t breathe. Roman felt his eyes slip closed beyond his control as his lower stomach clenched, and then he ended up filling Khai up completely, snapping his hips until he was completely spent, and collapsing on top of the smaller.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ As soon as Romans hot cum had filled him up and he had collapsed on top of him. Khai loosened his grip around his neck. Moving his arms to wrap tightly around Romans body as they both fought to catch their breath. “You’re so fucking amazing” Khai breathed out as he pressed his lips to the side of Romans head. The only word to describe what had just happened between them was, euphoric. Their bodies still connected in the most intimate way as they laid together in a state of intense and consuming rapture.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Ro just pressed his face to Khai’s neck, kissing it a few times before finally pulling back to lay is cheek against the other’s tattooed chest. Yes. It was amazing, but now his brain was all confused. Every time he was with Khai, it made him have to stop and think about things, and of course, it caused him miss Khai greatly. “Right back atcha.” He rasped, voice barely audible as he nuzzled against the other male.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ The soft kisses Roman placed along his neck caused him to hum softly. His hand coming up to stroke the other males hair as he laid his head upon his chest.  He couldn’t seem to keep himself from smiling as he heard Romans words. His eyes closing and savoring the moment as he felt him nuzzle against him. It didn’t matter if they were fucking or fighting, Roman always had a way of leaving him speechless. “I love you” he whispered. His chest rising and falling with all sorts of emotion he couldn’t seem to put into any other words.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman closed his eyes tightly when Khai said he loved him, because he knew that wasn’t said lightly. He just...hated that he’d hurt Khai so much by being so fucking indecisive. It had nothing to do with how much he did, or didn’t care about Khai, or how much he wanted him. He wanted him, so much, he was just fucked up when it came to relationships, just like Khai was himself. It was something they both struggled with, and yet they kept ending up back here. “I love you, too.” Ro rasped back, letting his fingers dance along the other’s side. He finally popped his head up to look down at his ex, smirking because it was sinking in what they’d just done. “Glad no one else came in. Shit.” He laughed.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai was so caught up in the moment and the feeling of Romans fingers on his skin. He didn’t even realize someone could have burst in on them. But, truthfully he didn’t really care either. He opened his eyes and gazed back at Roman with a mischievous grin. “Now that would be a production I’d definitely pay to see” he joked. Pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he took in the sweaty mess of his ex laying on top of him.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ “Ha! Yeah, same.” Roman laughed, smirking down at the way Khai was biting his lip. God, that was just so unfair, the way he looked when he did that. “I can’t believe we never made a sex tape. Like. That genuinely shocks me.” Ro solidified outloud, realizing it for the first time himself. “Seems like s’mmat we would definitely do...”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai couldn’t help but laugh out loud at Romans realization. “I know right? We should totally do that some time. I’d be down” he smirked. Just thinking about it was giving him all sorts of ideas. “You know, I also actually did porn once. But then I met you. So...” He shrugged his shoulders but his grin never faded. “We should definitely explore that” he nodded. His hand reaching down to boop Roman on the nose.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman raised a brow in interest when Khai mentioned being down to make a sex tape, and then admitted he did porn once. That sounded...like something he needed to see. Ro scrunched his nose when it was booped, both dimples out as he grinned down at the smaller. “What kind of sex tape would we make, hm?”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Roman was just so fucking adorable. The expression he made to Khai’s confession and the way his dimples popped out. Khai couldn’t contain the giggles that escaped him. Wait.. did he just giggle? What the fuck, Khai. He pressed his tongue to the corner of his mouth and bit down on it slightly in though. “Hmm... it doesn’t matter. As long as it’s with you. I’d let you do whatever you want” he said honestly.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman was well aware that Khai would do just about anything for him. He tried not to take advantage of that, but at least the times in which he did just a little, it was in regards to things they both loved. “Can we...go back to your place?” He found himself asking outloud, though it shocked him that he asked it. Ro just knew the second Khai walked out that door, their time together might be over, and that was hard to grasp.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ When Roman asked to go back to his place, his brow lifted slightly. Did he wanna make a porn right now? Well, okay then. “Yeah, of course we can. It’s still kind of a mess of boxes. But, yeah” he nodded. Grabbing Romans face and kissing him hard before letting him pull away from him.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ “I don’t even care, I jus’...” Roman smiled into the kiss, because he loved how desperate it was, like Khai needed it right this second. Relatable. “No, I ehm...” he finally sat up, and ran a hand through his long curls before rubbing both hands over his face, resting his elbows against his knees. “I guess I jus’ don’t want to stop spending time together just yet.”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ The look in Romans eyes made Khai’s heart skip a beat. It was like he just needed to be with him or he would crumble. Khai could definitely relate. “I don’t want to either” he admitted. Sitting up in front of Roman and placing his hand on his ex’s cheek. He didn’t need to say anything, his eyes said it all. “You should stay the night” Khai suggested boldly. His thumb rubbing slowly over Romans lips as he starred into his eyes.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman swallowed hard when Khai reached for his cheek, lips parting easily before he felt the other’s thumb on his soft, pink skin. Staying the night. He’d have to tell Jay something, especially since he never spent the night with anyone else, not even Aaron before he’d gone exclusive with Khai and Jay. But, he so badly wanted to go with Khai, and stay the night. “Okay.” Did he just actually say that? Yep. He did. “I’ll stay the night.”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Why was is so hard to pull himself away from Roman right now? He had literally showed up spewing that he might still be in love with Ella, and now... Now the only person he cared about or wanted to be with was Roman. He always had that effect on him. There wasn’t anything he would ever be able to do to change that, and he knew it. “Good” he smiled. “I’d really like that a lot” he said honestly. Leaning in close as if he were going to kiss him, but instead just pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. “Are we gonna go naked? Or should we get dressed?” he asked with a chuckle.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman was now smiling like an idiot - literally, like such a fucking dork. This just made him so giddy for some reason, especially since he and jay hadn’t really been intimate much lately, and he hadn’t been with anyone else. He’d missed Khai. He couldn’t help but to feel that way about someone he’d been with for a year. Ro was truly effected by the way that Khai got close, and then buy his lip like a little shit. “Yes Khai, we’re gonna walk up, and out of the theater with our cocks out.” He joked, shaking his head with a small chuckle before standing up the start getting his clothes back on.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai couldn’t take his eyes off of Roman. The way he was smiling caused him to smile too, it was infectious. He watched him climb off the couch and start to get dressed, laughing at his words. Not moving an inch as he took in the vision in front of him. “That would be a sight to see, now wouldn’t it?” he mused. Finally scooting to the edge of the cough to get his clothing back on as well.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ “A sight that at least would be good.” He assured the other, turning to wink at him as soon as he was fully dressed. Roman took his car to follow Khai back to his place, his heart practically beating out of his chest through the entire car ride. Why was he so fucking nervous? This was Khai. His Khai, that he’d been with for a year, and known even longer before that. It just felt different this time, and he had no idea if that was good or bad. “Holy shit, man. This place is...wow.” He observed while walking around Khai’s flat. He’d meant to get over here to see it sooner, but clearly hadn’t followed through.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai didn’t really feel any type of nervous until he was standing in his apartment watching Roman look around. His heart was practically beating out of his chest now, as he stood rubbing the scruff on his face and smiling at Romans reaction. Khai never was the type of guy to flash his money around. He had lots of it but tended to live as if he didn’t. Now there was no hiding it. His flat was top of the line modern boujee. With a touch of old classic comfort. It was definitely not something Khai intended to ever buy himself. But it was the only thing open and close to where Roman was. So, it had to do. “You like it?” he asked, already knowing the answer. “It’s gonna look a lot better once I get everything unpacked. I have all these classic paintings I wanna hang, and I’m still waiting on the black matte piano that’s gonna go over there in the corner.”

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ “I fucking love it.” Ro expressed genuinely, the smile on his face so pure, and honest. He was happy for Khai, because this place really fit him, much better than the house they were all in together. This apartment was more his taste. Ro really did love it. “Man, you have to let me know when you get that piano in. I wanna drool over it, then play the shit out of it!” Roman smirked, and then stepped out of his boots to be polite. “Show me the rest?”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ It made Khai feel really good that Roman genuinely liked the place. It definitely was more his style, and with the added aesthetic of himself, it truly showed another side of him. “Yeah?” he asked with a genuine smile. Nodding his head at Romans request to see the rest. He took of his boots as well and led Roman through the kitchen and into the living room. “This is my... living space with a balcony” he chuckled. Rubbing his lips together as he watched Roman take it in. “...and over here, is the bedroom.” Leading Ro into his room made his heart skip a beat. All he wanted to do was climb into bed with his ex and hold him, gazing out the picture window. Waking up with him like that seemed so euphoric. “So.. that’s basically it. Unless you wanna see the bathroom” he grinned.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman was just in a constant state of awe as they walked through the apartment, his mouth pretty much just in a constant state of open. This place was perfectly designed, and modern. Damn. He could really see himself staying here a lot. When Khai said this was it, Ro turned to flash a smirk at the smaller before he was taking off running to jump on the bed. It needed a bounce test, and comfort evaluation. “Oh yeah!” He called out in reaction to how nice the mattress was, adjusting himself on his back while he stared straight up at the ceiling. “This, is niiiice, man. Hey.” He moves up onto his elbows, looking probably much like a mix between an adorable sugar baby, and a sexy grown af man. “What drugs you got?” He asked with wiggling brows.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai watched Roman with his bottom lip caught between his teeth. God, he was such a vision. The way he looked laying on his bed was already making him twitch beneath his jeans. Top it off with that look he was now getting, Khai felt so weak. “Drugs?” he asked with a laugh. “I have weed...” he raised his own brow. Was this Romans way of testing if he had really been staying clean. “Why?” he asked, walking over to sit beside him on the bed. “What type of drugs do you want, babe?”

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman smirked to himself when Khai responded in that way, as if the question had somehow taken him off guard. Ro held himself up on his elbows as he looked the other male over, a dimple just every single slightly showing in one cheek while his eyes settled on the smaller’s face. “Weed’s good for me.” He winked, knowing he was being a little shit, but when was he not? “Can we smoke in your sweet ass bed?”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ If Khai could frame Roman in a painting and put him on a wall right now, he totally would. That damn dimple of his teasing him as he pushed his hair back from his face and licked his lips. “You sure about that?” he asked, his voice dropping half an octave. He kicked his shoes off and crawled across the bed to kneel in front of his ex. Reaching over him with their faces practically touching as he pulled open the bedside drawer. “Absolutely. Anything you want” he grinned.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Ro watched Khai closely as he moved over to the bed, and loomed over him during that reach. Fuck him. He knew what he was doing, and the way Roman was eyeing him showed just how much it was effecting him. It was almost comical how quickly he could get turned on by this man. “Anythin’, huh?” He smirked, eyes still on the smaller even after he moved away from the side table. It felt so surreal, to be with him again, flirting, this time in Khai’s own place, with no one else around, or even the threat of someone coming in on them.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Romans reaction to him always made him tingle all over. He loved teasing him and leaving him wanting more. It made him feel craved and desired, he couldn’t help it. As he sat back on his knees he nodded his head. “Mmhmm, anything” he clarified. Clutching a small baggy in his hand as he reached out to touch Romans lips with his thumb. Being alone with him like this was so fucking sweet. No interruptions, no shared attention, just the two of them. “You got something in mind?” he asked. Licking his lips again as he forced himself to not give in to kissing him.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman easily parted his lips for Khai when he touched him like that, letting his tongue dart out long enough to get a quick salty taste of the other’s thumb. “Mm, thought we could get high, and I can swallow your dick.” Ro replied so nonchalantly, like he’d said something completely normal, and in public. “You love that I can take you balls deep.” He practically whispered, choosing to move in, and gently brush his soft fushia lips against Khai’s scruffy jawline while he tried to make them a blunt.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai could barely concentrate on what he was doing. Roman was always so good at distracting him in the best possible way. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and hummed as Roman kissed his jawline and he shook his head. “You’re gonna make me spill the weed talking like that” he chuckled. Bringing the blunt to his lips to lick it closed. “You wanna do the honors? Since I’m pretty sure you can’t handle my cock between those lips” he teased. Using his hand to pinch Romans inner thigh as his other handed him the blunt.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman let out a naughty chuckle when Khai said he was gonna make him spill the weed. When the blunt was done, Ro gladly grabbed it from the smaller to “do the honors”, giving him a sassy look at the comment. As he brought the roll to his lips, he felt Khai pinch his inner thigh, and instead of being ticklish, or whatever else might be expected in reaction, Roman chose to instead spread his legs for the other male, showing his growing bulge between his legs as he pulled in a deep inhale of smoke, and then blew it out slowly through full lips.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Once Roman had the blunt between his lips, his eyes fell to his bulge. Lips parting with eyes full of ecstasy as he leaned back. Removing his shirt before his back rested  against the headboard. As he watched Roman blow out the smoke he unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants only have way. Teasing his lover with the easy access he was giving to him as his hard cock tried to bust through. “You wanna taste me?” he asked. Reaching for the blunt and placing it between his lips as he rubbed himself over his jeans.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ This weed was so good, that it only took a couple of hits for Ro to start feeling it. He had already been horny, but now it was magnified. Roman lulled his head to the side when Khai asked if he wanted to taste him, swiping his tongue out to lick his lips as a first response. After a few seconds, Roman moved, changing his position to get in between the other’s legs so that he could help get his jeans off the rest of the way, watching with wide green eyes as his length sprung free. “Think I can take it all, daddy?” He asked in as innocent of a voice as he could muster.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai placed the blunt between his lips as his eyes followed Ro’s movements. His hips lifting in anticipation as his pants were pulled from his body. His cock already hard and throbbing with excitement as he inhaled a deep hit from the weed and nodded his head as the smoke left his lungs. “I have no other expectations” he replied. A sexy grin forming on his lip as he awaited his lovers next move.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman swallowed hard when Khai spoke to him that way, because he was just so fucking sexy, and he couldn’t think of anything else he’d rather be doing right now than taking this man’s cock. “Good, daddy.” He rasped, and then leaned in to kiss the tip of Khai’s cock. It was slow at first, gentle, and focused as he kitty licked the pre cum from Khai’s length. But, then it was time for business, and Ro sank all the way down until the smaller’s cock was halfway down his fucking throat.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ It wasn’t very often at all that anyone got Khai into this position. He was very dominating, and liked to be in control. And this right here, letting someone suck his cock. It was a sure fire way of getting him to lose control. But he didn’t care, he wanted Roman to experience him in every way possible. Giving himself to him in the most vulnerable and submitting way he knew how. As Roman teased his tip with his tongue, Khai couldn’t contain the soft moans that escaped him. His cock twitching with even more anticipation than before. “Fuck, baby” he breathed out with a whisper. Taking one more hit from the blunt before Roman took him almost entirely down his throat. “Shiiiit” he hissed as the smoke escaped him. His hips lifting from the bed as his body flushed with goosebumps.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Ro knew how to suck a cock. He’d even consider himself to be a cock slut, in fact. He kept eye contact with the other as he began to bob up and down on Khai’s length, moaning for some vibrations as he hollowed his cheeks, and sucked him intensely. Ro really wanted to get kinky now, and shifted gears, taking Khai’s cock so deep that he began lightly choking on his partner’s erection, hands now moving behind his back.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai could already tell he wasn’t gonna be able to handle this. His hand moving to grab Romans hair so tightly as he tried to pull him away a bit. But obviously not really wanting him away, as his hips thrusted into the others mouth. He bit down hard on his bottom lip as he tossed the blunt to the ashtray beside the bed. Lifting his upper body from the mattress as Roman swallowed him whole and began slightly choking on him. “Fuck...” he growled through gritted teeth. His free hand moving to Romans shoulder to dig his fingers into his skin. “Stop... shit. Fuck, don’t stop” he moaned. His body trembling beneath his lovers lips.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman knew that Khai was having a hard time restraining himself from cumming, which always made Ro so damn happy honestly. It was like a bloody good pat on the back. Even though he was being told at first to stop, he hadn’t wanted to stop, and hadn’t planned to regardless. Instead, he continued choking himself on Khai’s cock in between giving the best damn blowjob of his LIFE. His eyes were watering, lips an angry red as they stretched around Khai’s sizeable girth. He was just waiting to take the smaller’s seed, ready to swallow every last drop.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Roman was a goddamn expert at giving head, and he knew it. The few times he had let Roman suck him off before didn’t even compare to this moment right now. Maybe because he was sober now, but his body could barely even contain how good it felt. His his thrusting harder and deeper into his lovers throat uncontrollably as he fell back onto the bed and gripped his own hair in tight fists. “Jesus fuckin Christ” he growled from the back of his throat as his entire body shook with pleasure. Cumming harder than he had in quite a while as his hips lifted all the way up into Romans mouth.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman was more than pleased when Khai finally began to cum, taking it all down with several swallows. He even made a point to suck a few more times on the tip, his tongue properly getting any last taste from the opening prior to finally pulling back, and wiping his mouth off on the back of his hand. “Yum.” His voice was SO fucking low, the underlying gravel orgasm worthy on its own. Ro chose to turn and flip onto his back beside Khai once again, running a hand through his slightly damp curls as he looked up at the ceiling.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai laid there breathless as Roman rolled off of him and starred up at the ceiling. His hands still covering his face as his body still shook from the overwhelming pleasure. He couldn’t even speak right now. Instead rolling over and hiding his face in his ex’s neck. Unable to look at him at the moment as he gently bit on Romans shoulder.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman wrapped an arm around Khai when he rolled over to hide his face into the side of his neck. Ro really did love Khai so much. They had a connection neither one of them could deny, and he had a feeling it wasn’t something that was ever going to go away. “Alright?” He finally asked with a small raspy chuckle to follow.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai felt so safe and content with Romans arm around him. It didn’t matter what they had gone through, or what had happened to lead them to this moment now. All he knew was that this man owned his heart. Wether he wanted it or not, it was his. Laughing softly at Romans question he rested his chin on his shoulder and gazed over at the others beautiful face. “No” he grinned. “I’m so much better than alright” he corrected. “Don’t ever do that again” he chuckled. Sliding his hand up underneath Romans shirt and tracing lazy circles around his nipples.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman snickered, glad that he could take that as a sentiment that he very much enjoyed what had just happened to him. “Okay, I’ll never do that again.” He replied sarcastically, hissing when he felt the other’s hand slide up his shirt, his fingers finding his ultra sensitive nipples. “Babe.” Roman half whines while letting his head drop back on the pillow. His Adam’s Apple was now visible as he arched his neck, and swallowed hard. He was so fucking horny, that pretty much anything would make him want to nut right now.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ “Good, you better not” he mused. Rolling over top of Roman and sitting on his legs as he looked down at him. His hands moving to pull off his shirt before letting his tongue find his nipples instead. “You’re so hard, baby” he breathed out. Letting his breath hit the wetness he left upon Ro’s hard nipples as he smiled up at him. His hands now working to get his pants off as his mouth continued to tease his lover. Moving slightly to remove his pants completely he tossed them to the floor. His hands pushing up his ex’s defined chest before dragging his fingertips down to his hips. “Tell me what you want me to do, daddy. I wanna make you cum.”

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Roman simply let out a shuttered huff when Khai made his observation about Ro’s arousal. He’d been hard for a hot minute, and the way the other was teasing him - christ...CHRIST! It wasn’t going to take long for him to cum at all. “What do you want to do to me, baby?” He moved his head to lock eyes with the smaller. “If you could do anythin’ to me right now, what would you do?”

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Khai knew he was driving Roman crazy just by the shudder he huffed our. But he loved it. Teasing was one of his strong suits and right now, he was using it to his full advantage. “Hmm” he hummed licking his lips. Taking a moment to let his fingertips trail around the base of Romans cock. Without ever really touching him. He let his eyes scan over Romans body and the moved off of him. Grabbing his arm and guiding him to flip over before pressing the back of his head down onto the pillow. “Don’t make a sound” he instructed. Restraining Romans arms behind his back by the wrists, as he placed a few fingers into his mouth. Using them to moisten Ro’s entrance he teased him a bit with his fingers. Soon leaning down to lick his anus getting it even wetter as he tightened his grip on his wrists. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard” he assured. Lifting back to his knees and without warning pushing deep and hard into his lovers hole.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Ro had no idea what the other was gonna do with him. His cock was flexing through all the teasing, and he was trying so fucking hard not to fuck up against the sensation. Roman needed to be patient, and obedient for his lover. For now, at least. He was perfectly pliable when he flipped over for Khai, nearly whimpering at the order to not make a sound. Oh god, he loved to be bossed around so fucking much. Khai knew that, naturally. Listen, none of that mattered though the second he was told how hard he would be fucked, and the push of his knees, and Khai’s cock into his warm heat was like the thrill of a rollercoaster. “Ughhhhh...” Ro moaned, already forgetting being quiet thanks to being caught of guard, wrists clenching into fists behind his back.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Roman looked so sexy laying there with his ass perfectly up in the air for him. It made it hard for Khai to be patient himself. Knowing it might have hurt him the way he just pushed into him like that. He rolled his hips slow as he held himself deep into Ro's core, slapping his ass for vibration with a satisfied smirk. "I told you not to make a sound" he growled. Pulling Roman up so that his back was against his chest, forcing him even deeper as he began to thrust against his prostate.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Ro was panting, trying to catch his breath before anything had really started. He groaned when he was reminded of the command, going easily when he was pulled up to rest back against Khai’s front. Roman was starting to slip into such a submissive state of mind, the one he got to when he could barely string words together to form a coherent sentence. Yeah, that place. What record timing too. Still, he tried to stay as quiet as possible, instead focusing all of his efforts into relaxing around Khai’s cock, just to end up squeezing around him in pleasure beyond his control.

ღ 𝕂HAI ღ Once Romans back was pressed against his chest. His hand made its way to wrap around his neck. His other hand wrapping firm around Ro’s length as he stroked him slow and hard. “Fuck baby” he hissed. Feeling Roman squeeze tight around him as he barely moved his hips back and forth. He wanted to stay as deep as he could as the feeling of Roman losing control drove him crazy. Causing him to roll his hips as he slightly leaned back pulling Roman along with him. His hand tightening around Ro’s neck as his own weight pressed him back even deeper into Khai’s length.

❝𝓡✮м𝕒𝐍 ❜❜ Khai knew exactly what Roman liked, as if he’d been studying him in school. His chin immediately jutted upwards at the presence of a hand around his throat, willingly allowing himself to be restricted of air. Kinky at its finest, but both men were messed up, and had gone through very traumatic, sexual experiences in their young lives. That would effect anyone, and would be deeply rooted in them forever. At least together, they could let that out. A strangled moan left his lips when Khai tightened his grip, and buried himself like that. Fuck, it felt so good, and barely being able to breathe only served to heighten the experience. Ro squeezed around the other male’s length, and reached back with his dominant hand to bury his fingers into Khai’s dark hair.

[lifeofbouyd]

Vagina Man

Dear Bouyd,

Have you been in a situation you wish you were able to explain, but no matter how you try you’re blank? Well, that’s me. I woke up in the hospital with a broken jaw bone and several stitches to my face and I still can’t seem to understand what happened. Like I saw it, I felt it, but as to why it happened, I really don’t know. Maybe you can help me figure this out.

I started high school as a typical nerd. I had an idea of what and how to do to get girls, but when the time came to approach a girl, I was all theory with no sense of application. My cousins would always tell me, “don’t get stuck on the non-fuck truck”. Tell her straight you want to fuck and she’ll let you bang her in no time. It sounded pretty easy. They’ve done it pretty easily, but I just couldn’t. I was at a school where you either a bad man or a punk. It wasn’t easy to be a bad boy. After all, I just wanted to make my mom proud of me. Do my work, win some scholarships and probably get some pussy along the way. Who doesn’t want the best for both worlds? I started school when Bouyd and his gang were sentenced to community service for turning the school upside down a few months prior to my arrival. These niggas would knock you out without a second thought, yet all the girls chased behind them. Bouyd had the best girls from my class which left me with nothing but the scrubs. This nigga was wearing a Gucci jacket, Desert Kicks and the latest school bags. I figured it was his swag that got him the girls so I adjusted my closet. My best friend and I started dressing like the bad guys, acting tough and talking slick to chicks. To my surprise, they actually noticed me. Girls finally wanted to be friends. I transitioned from a nerd to a vagina man in no time. My friend and I would always look chicks in pairs, that way we would always end up banging on the same enz.

I remember being in physics class one day, chilling, holding a vibe and flirting as always when a chick approached me. She had heard that my dick was big and wanted to see it. She wanted to see if what the girls were saying was true. If there’s one thing I’m sure I proud of, it would be the size of my dick. I was blessed with this mighty rod which I thank god for every day. I pulled her to the corner and flipped my pipe out. She stroked it until it was super hard. She consistently bit her lips while she stoked it. I wanted to fuck her then and there but she was too afraid. “I can’t take this dick right here”, she said. She claimed she’d cry too much so I should meet her in the evening at the empty lab on the other side. I didn’t even hesitate to show up. I had my best friend on the lookout while I got my dick wet. She wrapped her mouth around the head and slowly went back and forth. Holding it with both hands. She thrust harder and harder as if she wanted me to cum. She nibbled my nuts and made my tummy feel uneasy from the excitement. She had me sit on a chair then sat on top of me, riding like a rodeo. She was tight, almost Virgin if you asked me. She moaned like a cat and vibrated like a vintage alarm clock. She soaked my cock with her dripping pussy. She turned back way and told me to fuck her hard, but after the first hard stroke, she changed her mind. She laid flat on one of the experiment tables and I went on top. I watched her eyes roll back to her brain every time she had an orgasm. She pushed me off and started thrusting with her hands and mouth again. Faster and faster. My knees started getting weak, my head started feeling faint, my dick started swelling. I was about to explode. Should I tell her? I don’t think she’d mind swallowing my kids. The moment I exploded, the door was pushed open. It was my physics teacher staring us both dead in the eyes.

Teacher: 😳🤔😏🤤

Me: 🍆💦 😳🤭🤫😏

Her: 💦🤤🙃😳😊🤫

He laughed and walked away as if he saw nothing. There was cum on her face, clothes and in her hair. She washed her face and ran out. I couldn’t help but laugh about what had happened. My friend who should’ve been watching out was nowhere to be found. It’s a good thing it wasn’t the principal, or my goose would have been served cooked. He said he had gone next door with a girl which I highly doubted, but, fuck that. We laughed about it. That shit made me even more famous. Girls kept coming to see my dick and I kept filling their desires. I remember this new girl joining our class in eleventh grade. She was beautiful and I wanted her bad, but my friend Akeem wanted her too. We decided we’d have a contest and may the best man win. Whoever she chose we’d both accept it and live with it. We both tried everything to get her and eventually she chose me. Akeem didn’t seem pleased. He said he was but his actions said differently. The bond we used to have was no longer there. He became distant and one worded. He tried everything to avoid having a conversation with me. Sashakay could give no fucks about him, so, why should I? She’d kiss me in front of him to make him jealous or sit in my lap to make him move. Whenever she wasn’t there he would humor my conversations. I’ve known this dude almost all my life and I expected him to always be there for me. He said he would be, just like I was always there for him. She bragged to her friends about how I fucked her which made her friends want to fuck me too. I called him a few times to join in the fun which he did. But at the end of the day,he brought my name back to her. I then realized he wasn’t with me anymore so I decided to let him be.

Bouyd had graduated the year before so we were now the ones holding down the fort. Chicks were coming from every angle and I was fucking them in every position. I guess this is what he hated me for. Living the life he wanted. But how can he blame me? We had all this together and he decided to bring personal feelings to the table. Shit 😔. I lost my friend before I knew it. We had our final exams coming up and he had borrowed some of my tools that I needed for the exam a few months back. I asked him for them and he claimed he had nothing for me. I didn’t make a fuss, I just got myself a new set. This dude came to the exam with my tools and acted as if he had bought them. The same tools he said he didn’t have. I decided I’d let him use them then take them after. They were mine and we were no longer friends so I needed my stuff. I approached him after the exam and asked him for my stuff, but he didn’t even look at me. He walked away not giving a shit about anything I had said. I saw him again that day at a vendor’s stall getting an orange. I again asked him for my stuff and he started shouting, and talking all kind of shit; so I just told him to keep it. I walked away only to get slapped across the back of my neck. I fell to the ground in that instant. I had no idea what hit me or who. I turned around trying to get my self off the ground only to be greeted by bullet speed fists. I tried shielding my face but fists came from every angle. I got punched in the eye and everything went dark. I reopened my eyes to a room with a big window and drapery that seemed old fashioned. The bed was way too small to be my own and it even had bars. I was shocked out mind. How did I get here? Where am I? I tried talking but my mouth couldn’t open. I looked to my left to see the needles in my hand and the “heart machine thingy” beeping. That’s when I realized I was in the hospital. He had knocked me the fuck out. I woke up three days after the beating I got. I heard he punched me repeatedly until I was bleeding through my nose and my mouth. Some say he was trying to kill me, some say I was dead. I heard he was kicked off by the famous “Caney”, a vendor at the gate. I heard I was there bleeding out for a while before I was rushed to the hospital. I didn’t know what or who to believe. To be honest, I still can’t believe that he did that to me though. I didn’t even approach him with any fighting intentions. All I wanted was to get my stuff back. I knew I was in the hospital but I didn’t realize I was at KPH until I was leaving. It was way worst than I had imagined.

Since then I keep friends on a thin line. Can’t trust these niggas these days. Pussy feelings is a heavy load to be bringing around, yet still, some of them do it so well. I learned that its best to do your stuff by yourself. Keep who you fucking silent and who you dating invincible. The less people to know your business, the safer you are. Don’t be like me and get your ass handed to you, and please don’t be like him. If you’re not happy about your friend dating the girl you want, just say so. Don’t pretend to be happy and want to kill your friend at the same time. It’s just pussy. Every woman has one.

Yours Truly,

Vagina Man

[readonline]

https://nyti.ms/34FebC6 15, 2020 at 09:42PM

Modern Love

As a wife and a mother, I have learned how to tell the truth. Which is why I always know when my husband is lying.

Credit...Brian Rea

By Patric Gagne

My husband was trying to tell me I was “the only one” for him.

“Don’t lie to a liar,” I said.

It wasn’t a very romantic reply, I’ll admit. But I’m not a romantic. I’m a sociopath.

My husband knows this, of course. As for me, I knew as early as age 7 that I wasn’t like other children. I didn’t care about things the way they did. I was a girl (my male-sounding name, Patric, is short for Patricia) who mostly felt nothing. It wasn’t until college that a therapist told me what I had long suspected: My lack of emotion and empathy are hallmarks of sociopathy. A few years later, doctors would confirm my diagnosis.

Human beings aren’t designed to function without access to emotion, so we sociopaths often become destructive in order to feel things. I used to break into houses or steal cars for the adrenaline rush of knowing I was somewhere I wasn’t allowed to be — just to feel, period.

It didn’t take long for me to realize this was not an effective life strategy. Rather than risk incarceration (or worse), I used my diagnosis to fuel my pursuit of a Ph.D. in psychology.

Like many, I gained my first understanding of sociopaths from pop culture, which portrays us as singularly dangerous and threatening, our flat emotional state and lack of remorse making us unfit for normal life. It wasn’t until I began my research in graduate school that I learned sociopaths exist along a wide spectrum, like many people with psychiatric disorders. You’ll find us everywhere in daily life, as your colleagues, neighbors, friends and, sometimes, members of your own family.

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My husband and I dated in high school and found each other again after college. You would think my insincerity, emotional poverty, absence of shame and guilt, and reduced empathic response wouldn’t exactly land me in the “dream girl” category. Perhaps because he and I had grown up together and he was already familiar with my “bad” side, he remained in denial for years about me having any sort of real psychological problem. Nevertheless, 13 years later, we’re still in love and happily married.

But am I “the only one” for him? Definitely not.

My husband had developed a crush on a female colleague at work. It was obvious, and I understood why. She was everything I’m not: thoughtful, kind, compassionate. I doubt she ever attempted to choke anyone. Unlike me.

She was socially appropriate at parties, appreciated compliments and affection. Her charm was authentic and her darkness, if she had any, relatable. Unlike mine. It made sense he would like her. They would make a great pair. So why wouldn’t he just admit it?

He knew I didn’t take things like this personally. That’s one of the perks of being married to a sociopath: I don’t get jealous. He knew that if he were to tell me he liked her, I would listen and relate without reaction. I might even end up helping him shed some of his Catholic-school guilt. All he had to do was be honest.

When you’re a sociopath in a marriage, especially one with children, honesty is critical — even more, I would argue, than for people in “normal” relationships. As a sociopath, I had difficulty prioritizing telling the truth, but as a wife and a mother, I forced myself to learn.

Outside of my family, my loyalty to the truth is what has enabled me to connect with other people. As a doctor who specializes in the research of sociopathy, I prize credibility and integrity as my greatest asset.

Granted, it hasn’t been easy. People claim to want complete honesty from their partner or spouse, but I have found they aren’t always happy when they get it, especially when that honesty is coming from a sociopath.

My husband was never thrilled to hear that I had spent the day in a stranger’s house without that person’s knowledge or committed other misdeeds. But his real anger was reserved for the fact that I never felt guilty about these things.

For my husband, guilt is a driving force. His formative years were shaped by his overbearing and infirm mother. And then he married someone who seemed immune to it. He wanted to know: Why did I never care what anyone thought? Why was my behavior never limited by guilt?

For a long time, he was angry. But eventually he began to understand it wasn’t my fault that I was born with a reduced capacity for remorse. And it wasn’t his fault his mother was so negatively attached.

A few years after we married, with his encouragement, my behavior started to shift. I would never experience shame the way other people do, but I would learn to understand it. Thanks to him, I started to behave. I stopped acting like a sociopath.

And thanks to me, he started to see the value in not caring as much about what others thought. He noticed how often guilt was forcing his hand, frequently in unhealthy directions. He would never be a sociopath, but he saw value in a few of my personality traits.

He learned to say “no” and mean it, especially when it came to activities he was doing purely out of obligation — family visits or holiday gatherings he didn’t enjoy but couldn’t decline. He started to recognize when he was being manipulated. He noticed when emotion was clouding his judgment.

What a pair we are. Certainly, there have been setbacks. He isn’t always patient. I’m not always on my best behavior. And on those occasions, I leave a token on his desk to let him know when I have been up to no good (minor mischief like sneaking embarrassing items into a line-cutter’s grocery cart). The token I leave is an innocuous trinket, a Statue of Liberty figurine from a key chain. Anyone else who saw it wouldn’t think twice. But he knows what it means.

Whenever I leave the figurine on his desk, it means I’ve done something wrong. The second he sees it, he comes to find me, gives me a kiss and slips it back into my purse. Often, he doesn’t ask what I’ve done, but if he does, he knows he can trust me to be honest. And I know the same, so I never stray too far outside the lines.

Which is why his denial of his office crush was so confusing.

For the first time in our relationship, it wasn’t my interpretation of the truth that was causing a shift in our marriage; it was his. Believe it or not, I could appreciate the cause of his dishonesty. On good days, I was almost entertained by it. His clumsy white lies were like a toddler’s, and nearly as endearing.

On those days I wanted to hug him for being so cute. “You see what you’re doing?” I wanted to say. “You’re not being honest about your feelings for her. You’re lying. Now, how is this any different from what I used to do?”

And just like that, he would have gotten a lesson in empathy — from a sociopath, no less! And we would have laughed and understood each other better and gone back to sharing everything. At least I’d like to think so. My husband, after all, was the one who said we must be honest without exception. And he was the one who insisted I confess to every single thing every single time. So why he wasn’t playing by the same rules?

I have been forced to come clean about everything, even when — especially when — I don’t want to. It’s hard, frustrating, confusing and annoying, but I have done it for him, for us! If he wasn’t willing to do the same, then what? Should I leave him? Go back to being dishonest? Wait for him to leave me?

On bad days, these were the thoughts that dominated. When I couldn’t help but wonder: Is this what fear feels like?

I think it was. My husband was lying to me. Gaslighting me. Sneaking. Acting like a sociopath. And isn’t that how we sociopaths are defined — as liars without the ability to empathize? On such days, I saw what it must be like to be married to someone like me. And the irony is almost shimmering.

Still, I couldn’t help but smile thinking of the future, of the days when we would be able to joke about the time we almost split up because he started acting like a sociopath. And that in doing so, my husband was finally able to teach me the one thing I have been trying to learn all of my life: empathy.

Patric Gagne is a writer and doctor of psychology from Los Angeles.

Modern Love can be reached at modernlove@nytimes.com.

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From Modern Love

[mrshopkirk]

The Workout

Well, this is it. I hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know what you think.

Characters: Steve x Bucky, Avengers, Lance Tucker

Summary: Steve thinks the Avengers can use a different work out so he seeks help. The Avengers and especially his boyfriend Bucky are not happy with the new trainer, an Olympic gold medalist called Lance Tucker.

Warnings: swearing, sexual innuendo, people taking showers

Word count: 4158

Notes: AU!avengers. I think it’s quite obvious that I like Stucky. For those that don’t like it, you can kind of replace Bucky/Steve with your name. Whatever rocks your boat. Thank you @hellomissmabel for proofreading. I love you, sweetheart. Feedback is appreciated.

*MASTERLIST*

Steve is already at the gym when the rest of the team arrives. He’s excited. Bucky can tell. He loves that. It makes his ass wiggle so cute. He has his head cocked to the side and… giggles? What the hell?

“Hey sweetheart, what puts you in such a good mood this morning?”

When Steve turns around, all Avengers stop dead in their tracks when they see there’s another figure behind him. Steve’s faced is flushed, a shy smile still on his face and he looks giddy when he steps aside.

“Guys, this is Lance Tucker. He’s a Olympic gold medalist and he’s going to be training us.”

“Training us? Don’t we work out enough?” Tony asks.

“We train enough on strength and ground combat. It’s time we focus more on agility and flexibility, and that’s why Lance is here.” ‡

Steve straightens his back and talks in that Captain America voice that means business. No matter what they say, the Avengers know they’ll end up training with that guy in front of them, already making a bad impression with the overconfident smile plastered on his face. Bucky tugs at the sleeves of his shirt. He’s glad he wore a long sleeved one so the stranger can’t see his arm, but he already knows these are going to be hot training sessions.

“Psst, Tony? Don’t you think this guy looks like Bucky?”

Bucky turns around in shock. “What the fuck, Sam? He doesn’t look anything like me!”

The rest of the team furrows their brows as Bucky fails to see the uncanny resemblance. The hair is shorter, yes, and he’s more tanned than Bucky but the jawline, the color of his eyes and hair, the full lips, he’s almost identical. The only difference is the cocky attitude that Bucky lacks and Lance Tucker is full of. As soon as he opens his mouth, the self-satisfaction drips from his words. Captain America himself has asked for his expertise. The fact that the same Captain America is acting like a teenager with a crush makes him even smugger.

The exercises prove to be more difficult and intense as expected. Nat is the best obviously, making a statement by putting Lance in a headlock when he challenges her to show him her best move. The smiles on the Avengers’ faces drop as Lance seems to thoroughly enjoy the feeling of being trapped between the widow’s legs.

“You’re tight,” giving her a wink for good measure. They should have seen that coming to be honest.

Clint’s pretty good as well. Then follows Steve who is trying to impress Lance and visibly revels in every compliment Lance throws his way. Bucky isn’t bad either though he’s clearly less athletic than Steve. He never minded that but now it annoys the hell out of him. Sam and Tony? Training with Lance is a living hell. Their bodies are broken by the end of every training session; their muscles sore and their motivation and self-esteem down the drain. The constant exasperated sighs of Lance aren’t motivating either.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. You’ve got to be kidding me. You can fly but you can’t land on your feet without tumbling over? The world is doomed if we have to depend on you guys.” Lance shuts Sam up by simply raising his hand and walking away before he can even reply. He’s baffled. The only thing that’s motivating is finding ways to get rid of that little shit.

They were all fuming when they heard Lance talk over the phone about how he wants to motorboat Nat’s “cans” and that she was just playing hard to get. The comment about Steve wanting a piece of his ass drew the line. It took all Sam, Tony and Clint had to keep Bucky and Nat from ripping his head off.

Steve gasps and drops his water bottle. Explaining an exercise, the shirt of Lance rises up displaying his perfect abs and toned body. The ribbon that's tattooed on his lower abs is on full display, drawing attention to the stubble that's revealed by his sweats that hang low on his hips, putting his perfect V out there for everyone to see. Sam and Tony huff in annoyance. Bucky on the other hand clenches his jaw in utter annoyance. Not because that asshole is making a spectacle out of it. No, Bucky's annoyed by Steve whose jaw dropped to the floor and stays there. His eyes are fixed on the tattoo guiding his gaze towards the obviously outlined masculinity in Lance’s pants.

When Lance lands back on the mat, he sees Steve crouched down on the floor picking up his water bottle. He runs his hands through his hair and catches Steve staring at his tattoo. Lance juts out his chin in an overly confident manner, his fingers pointing to his crotch.

“That’s where the gold is, Captain,” he drawls out the last word and chuckles when Steve drops his bottle a second time and blushes crimson at being caught.

Tony’s more than done with Steve’s little infatuation with the spray tan man. He hits him over the head while walking by. “Close your mouth, Cap. I don't need to see what you had for breakfast this morning.”

Nat walks by next and hits him over the head as well. “Some respect for your boyfriend might be in order, Steve.”

The next thud comes from Sam followed by Clint, “What they said.”

Steve’s rubbing his head when he feels a firm warm chest pressed up against his back. Bucky gives him his water bottle that he picked up and growls in his ear, wiggling his metal arm in front of him. “Thought you liked silver, sweetheart.”

“I hate that dude.” Sam complains, limping towards the showers. The training is tough on Sam and Tony. While Nat and Clint are more agile, it’s still wearing them out too. When Bucky drags his tired form in they all give him compassionate looks. It’s worse on him than anyone else. Besides the fact that he’s far from as athletic or graceful in his moves as Steve, he has to endure seeing his boyfriend ogling the new trainer.

“I don’t get what Cap sees in him,” Tony says.

“Well, he kind of looks like Bu-.” Clint is cut off short.

“HE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ME! Why does everyone keep saying that?!”

Nat is the first one to speak out loud what everyone thinks. “We need to get rid of Lance. We need to get Steve to fire him.”

“How are we going to do that?” Sam asks, his arms crossed over his chest.

“We need to make Steve jealous.”

Bucky is sitting on the bench, his head in his hands when he feels all eyes on him.

“I can’t ask you to do that, Nat,” he says.

“Well, Steve won’t get jealous if I try to get with Lance.” She cocks her eyebrow and stares Bucky in the eye. “I’m afraid you’ll have to take one for the team, Buckaroo,” Nat deadpans. The rest of them nod.

“He has to go but if this little fucked up plan of yours goes wrong, you’re all dead. I’ll kill you guys if Steve dumps me because of this.”

“You do realize he’s really going to kill us if this thing blows up in our faces, right Nat?” Clint says when Bucky disappears in the shower.

“I’ll have a Quinjet ready,” Tony adds.

The next morning, Bucky is the first one down and Lance is already there like he hoped he would be. Bucky looks at him. There is nothing he finds even remotely attractive about him. He doesn’t like the overdose of gel in his hair. He doesn’t like the way he chews his gum. He doesn’t like how white his teeth are. He hates the cocky look on his face. He shivers when he sees that overly confident swag and those stupid sunglasses in his shirt. He’s way too tanned and always wears that stupid outfit. He hates the way he always puts people down or embarrasses them in front of others. But most of all he hates the way Steve looks at him, the way his boyfriend’s breath hitches in his throat when he stands close to him, the way his face turns red when Lance flashes him a smile or tells him he’s done a good job. So he swallows down his pride and the way his heart hurts in his chest as he thinks about flirting with another man when all he wants is Steve. By now the team has arrived and he looks at them. The only one that’s even trying to argue about other options with Nat, is Sam.

He’s not even sure how he has to do this. Lance loves women. He’s as straight as they come. But Nat said he likes attention, everyone’s attention, including men, and so Bucky finds himself walking over to Lance.

“Excuse me… Lance,” Bucky drawls while he’s leaning against the wall where Lance is unpacking his stuff. Lance looks up and has this lopsided grin on his face that Bucky immediately wants to smack of his face. His body betrays him and his fists clench involuntarily. Lance looks at his bulging muscles in admiration because no matter what people think of Bucky, those arms are impressive, especially for someone as obsessed with upholding a glorious body as Lance Tucker. So Bucky flexes his arms again, gaining all of Lance’s attention.

“Yes, Barnes?” Lance takes a swig of water trying to mask the fact that he’s awestruck.

“I was really impressed by that exercise you showed us yesterday. Like really really impressed.” Bucky looks him over with hooded eyes and Lance is relishing the attention that’s bestowed on him. “But I can’t seem to do it and I was wondering if you want to help me with it.” Bucky pulls the tie out of his hair and makes a new bun while pushing out his chest and making the fabric of his shirt stretch sinfully over his arms and rise up. Lance doesn’t know where to look.

“Did he just make Lance blush?” Sam asks incredulously. “Damn, that man really can charm the pants of anyone and he’s not even trying.”

And so when Steve walks in the gym that morning, he’s greeted with a meek ‘hey’ from his teammates and the sight of his sweaty boyfriend hanging from one of the beams while Lance Tucker has his hands on the bare skin of Bucky’s hips where his shirt has crawled up and his shorts hang low. He can see Lance’s fingers gripping Bucky’s body tightly while Bucky cracks a joke about being ticklish.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea. He’s fucking pissed off already. Look at Nat, man.” Sam whispers to Tony. Both men watch as Nat gets up yet again after being thrown off Steve’s shoulders, not being able to hold the headlock like she usually does with ease.

“That just means it’s working.”

“Well, I’m not sparring with him today. Good luck,” and Sam pushes Tony towards their seething captain.

“Shoulder giving you trouble?”

After the training session, Lance hears a deep vibrating voice behind him. He’s not into guys but man, it does feed his always hungry ego that besides Captain America even the Winter Soldier takes a liking to him. And he must admit the feeling of Bucky’s big warm hand rubbing his shoulders feels damn good. The man certainly packs some power in those fingers. Too bad he’s not using the metal one too though. Bucky knows it’s driving Steve crazy that he’s touching another man. He decides to step up his game and grips Lance’s shoulders tight, eliciting a moan from the man in the process who leans his head back against Bucky.

“God, you’re rock hard,” Lance comments on his abs. In the gym the loud clang of metal weights hitting the ground is heard with a petrified Steve standing next to them.

“You okay there, baby?” Bucky innocently asks, his hand still on Lance’s shoulders rubbing small circles on them. Steve glares at him and walks away.

At the end of the next training session, Steve finds Bucky talking to Lance again and smiling wide after he emerges from the shower. It stings.

While Steve still gets compliments from Lance, Bucky seems to move closer to Lance every day. He stands next to Lance instead of at the back of the room when he explains the exercises of the day, asks for help on moves that Steve is sure he can perfectly do already, and asks to help him adjust his body to achieve the correct posture, always requiring Lance to touch him in one way or the other.

The team notices the angry scowls Steve is starting to give Lance, and they swear they could hear him mutter profanities under his breath when Lance has one of his legs between Bucky’s to wide his stance.

Just when everyone starts to think their scheme is working, much to the relief of Bucky, things take a turn for the worse.

How or why the team finds themselves sitting in a bar waiting for Lance the fucker Tucker, as Tony started calling him, is beyond them. By now Steve wants to make Bucky jealous but has no clue how. He was never good at flirting or making a move. If Bucky hadn’t kissed him first he’d still be pining after him, thinking the man only liked girls and his right hand would still be his best friend. He sighs when Bucky takes his hand in his, his fingers gently caressing his knuckles. Steve feels Lance slide in the booth next to him and the excessive amount of cologne on the man makes him sneeze.

“Bless you, Captain.”

“Thank y-“ When Steve looks at Lance; the wind is knocked out of him. He’s not wearing his usual blue sweatpants and red track jacket but a dark navy blue pea coat. Lance feels on top of the world with the impact he has on Captain America and he winks at him trying to provoke him even more. And yes, of course Lance Tucker wins gold again, he triumphantly thinks, when Steve blushes profusely.

“Hey, what’s the matter, babe?” Bucky asks after feeling Steve tense up, but he stops talking when Steve pulls his hand from his and looks away.

“What the hell is he doing?” Nat seethes.

While Steve tries to get his act together again, Lance’s eyes are already scanning the room looking for a hot body to bang. He shoots some of the women his sultry smile while he scrunches up his nose, not hiding his aversion, at the ones he doesn't deem worthy of his attention and body. His behavior makes even Tony cringe.

“Well, don't wait up for me.” Lance laughs and walks over to some woman in a top that's hardly covering her breasts. It takes all but five minutes before Lance lets his hands slide down her arms and onto her breasts. Sam almost spills his drink and Clint almost chokes on his. The woman’s taken aback but as soon as Lance’s hands glide further down her body and pulls her between his legs, he whispers something in her ear, making her giggle. Whatever it is he said, it works because they walk out while Lance slaps her ass. He turns around and winks at Steve who swallows hard. Bucky can't do anything but stare in disbelief at the scene in front of him.

“If you'll excuse me, I'm going to the restroom.” Steve slides out of the booth.

“What the hell was that?” Clint growls. “Not even Tony acts that way.”

“Hey! I'm sitting right here!”

Nat leans towards Bucky placing her hand on his arm. “How are you holding up, soldier?”

The look in Bucky's eyes tells her nothing. His face is blank unlike mere minutes before. His tense body on the other hand tells her all she needs to know.

Walking back to the tower, Steve avoids any physical contact with Bucky.

“What’s going on with Lance, Steve?” Bucky sighs when they get back to their room.

Steve avoids looking Bucky in the eyes, worrying Bucky even more.

“Do you,” he clears his throat, “do you like him? Like you like me? Or more than me?” he almost whispers, sitting on his knees in front of Steve, desperate for him to look him in the eyes. “You know I love you, right? But you hardly looked at me all night, sweetheart. You even pulled back your hand.”

“He reminds me of you,” Steve answers in a flat voice.

Bucky’s eyes go wide-open, disbelief written on his face. Lance Tucker reminds Steve of him. He is nothing like that man. It’s a fucking insult being compared to that man.

“The way he looks and then he picked up that woman,” he sighs and looks up at Bucky.

“This guy talked to that girl for five minutes and grabbed her boobs. How does that remind you of me? I’m not perfect but when have I ever treated a lady like that, Steve?” He blinks his eyes rapidly, looking at the man he loves. “Have I ever treated you like that?”

“You grabbed…”

“Jesus Steve! I squeezed your boobs once!” Bucky exclaimed. “It was a joke! Tony dared me to grab someone’s boobs that night. It was you or Natasha.” He runs his hands through his hair. “Seriously, THAT reminded you of me?” He shakes his head, disappointed. “You think that little of me?” He walks out of their room before Steve can say something.

Bucky doesn’t go back to their room that night, leaving Steve alone with his thoughts. He walks over to his desk and pulls out his notebook that holds a picture of Bucky with his hair slicked back, wearing his navy blue Howling Commando coat. Lance looks so much like him. It simply catches him off guard every damn time and he still feels the need to impress that Bucky from the forties.

After the fiasco at the bar and Steve’s comment, Bucky decides to get rid of Lance straightaway. The next morning he strides over to him, Sam’s grasp on his arm not strong enough.

“Tucker, you need to go.”

Lance spreads his leg and crosses his arms. “Is that so, Barnes?”

“Yup,” and Bucky reaches for Lance’s bag and starts packing.

“Why now? Don’t like the way your boyfriend looks at me? That he likes what he sees?” He looks right at Bucky, challenging him. One has to admit it, the Avengers do not intimidate Lance Tucker nor does a bad tempered Bucky Barnes.

Bucky’s struggling to keep his composure and but it’s the truth. Steve likes what he sees when he looks at Lance and he used to look at him that way. Lance has a perfect body no matter how he hates to admit it, while his own body looks like it’s been put in a grinder. He sighs, “That’s exactly why, yes.”

“Ok.”

Bucky is surprised. That was too easy.

“On one condition.” Bucky doesn’t like the look in Lance’s eyes. He just knows it has something to do with him. “I want to touch it.”

“Touch what?”

“That.” The tip of Lance’s finger hovers close to Bucky’s covered arm.

“No.”

“Then I stay. Start warming up.”

Bucky clenches his fists, making the plates whir and it excites Lance, making him bite his lip. For Steve, he thinks. The sooner this man is gone, the better. Bucky closes his eyes and takes off his long sleeved shirt. The top he’s wearing underneath shows his arm but not the scars. Lance’s eyes widen.

“Never thought something that’s only silver could look this good.” He degrades Bucky’s arm even more by a lousy and snarky remark.

Bucky braces himself with his flesh hand on the wall behind Lance, takes a deep breath and extends his arm for the hands of this asshole to touch it. His hands slide over the plates, feeling the curves, while Bucky’s breath hitches, just as Steve walks in.

“HEY!” His booming voice startles them both. Lance jumps and Bucky sighs relieved. “Hands off my man!”

“I was just leaving. Training is over. None of you are going to get any better than this.” Lance conceitedly says.

In an instant Bucky stands behind Steve, hiding and peering over his shoulder at the retreating figure. As soon as Lance walks out the gym, Steve feels Bucky’s hands slides across his waist and grip him tight, burying his face in the crook of his neck.

“Make it go away. Make his touch go away, Stevie,” he murmurs.

So Steve turns around, a warm smile on his face, and kisses Bucky’s neck and shoulder, running his fingertips over his arms, followed by his lips on every plate. He turns his lover’s hand upwards and kisses the inside of it and the tips of his fingers, murmuring his I love you’s along the way.

“Baby, you did that for me?” Steve whispers, cupping Bucky’s jaw to look him in the eye.

“You’re only supposed to look at me like that, Stevie. It hurt so bad. His body’s flawless and mine-”

“Let me show you how perfect you are to me,” and he kisses Bucky with all the love he has to give.

While they lie in bed in together, Bucky’s looking at Steve’s picture-perfect face.

“You know, if you like tattoos, I could get one,” Bucky suggests, shrugging his shoulders. “You can draw it.”

“Really?” Steve blushes a little because it means he’s admitting he really liked Lance’s tattoo. Not the tattoo itself though, that was tacky as hell. He grabs a pencil and his sketchbook, sticking the tip of his tongue out while he starts to draw.

Bucky takes a nap before heading out to the gym later that afternoon. Grabbing his gym bag he sees Steve’s sketchbook and some tentative attempts at designing a tattoo for him. He likes the idea, having something of Steve permanently inked on his body. Meanwhile he can’t help but think about Steve and the hot dream he had about him, Steve’s hands all over his body, his soft touch, his hot breath fanning over his lower abdomen. After the workout, Bucky thinks, after.

The time in the gym took way longer than Bucky really wanted. All he wanted was to get his hands on Steve and Steve noticed. Every chance Bucky got he was touching some part of him, a lingering touch on his arm, his nose nudging his ear, his hand sliding down his back. While Tony, Sam and Clint make their way to the showers and Nat to hers, Bucky seizes his opportunity and pushes Steve up against a wall, kissing him hard, pushing his body up against his, his hands roaming over his chest and tickling his sides making Steve squirm. He loves that. Steve is wiggling against his body, breath coming out in short pants and his cheeks turn adorably pink when he laughs. A happy Steve Rogers is a sight to behold and he is all his. Bucky cups his face and kisses him.

“You’re mine.”

“And you’re mine, Bucky. And I’ll show it to the world. Starting with our friends.” He chuckles and smoothly escapes Bucky’s grip and heads towards the shower.

Steve’s practically finished showering by the time Bucky arrives and starts washing his hair.

“What the fuck, man?!” Sam shouts.

Tony and Clint snap their heads and their gaze follows Sam pointing finger. Clint doubles over in laughter and Steve hops out of the shower.

“What? Why are you pointing at my-?”

Bucky looks down at the particular body part Sam is pointing at and then he sees it. The reason why he dreamt about Steve’s breath fanning across his body, the soft touches. There it is, in all its glory, a black drawing… right above his…

“God dammit, Steve! What the hell did you do?”

“I tried out a tattoo,” he snickers, tears in his eyes, fumbling to get his clothes on as fast as possible. “Do you,” he’s laughing again, “do you like it?”

“No! How am I supposed to like this? It says “Steve’s” and it’s a black arrow pointing towards my dick.”

“It just takes some getting used to, baby.”

“I’m not getting used to this. It’s coming off right now!”

It’s a sight for sore eyes, Bucky Barnes furiously washing himself, soap and foam dripping down his legs. Something gets tossed in the shower, landing in front of Bucky’s feet with a soft thud.

“Forget it, Buck. That’s not coming off any time soon,” Clint says picking up the black sharpie pen, “It says permanent.”

Shampoo dripping down his face, Bucky bellows, “You better run, Rogers!! I’m coming after you!”

TAGLIST:   @callamint  @laterthantherabbit   @aubzylynn  @you-and-bucky   @harleyqueen7  @beccaanne814-blog  @hardcorehippos  @ursulaismymiddlename  @buckyywiththegoodhair  @hellomissmabel  @blacwings-and-bucky-barnes  @abovethesmokestacks   @eve1978  @winterboobaer   @blacwings-and-bucky-barnes  @howiseethesethings  @s8sense @emilyevanston   @thatawkwardtinyperson

BROKEN TAGS: @brokennoone  @10kindsofderp  

STUCKY: @bone-of-my-bones

[shhhselah]

Mack Daddy OG BooThang

Sunday, January 20, 2019

1:28am

Pretty, isn’t it?

It’s the kind of place I’d imagine going on a honeymoon. Like, what man is going to take me here, and where he at? Cause no, really....where he at though? 

Ya know, I realized something a little while ago. Like, legit just a few minutes ago lol. It’s a prayer I’ve prayed for years, but am finally in a place to receive and see it. Check this out, y’all: 

God is dumb romantic and He’s like....the greatest player of all time. Except God ain’t no player. Oh no, baby, no. He’s the whole GAME.

And you know what?

He’s playing for keeps.

Yeah. That’s right. You heard me. Peep the title. Y’all thought that was just to draw you in? Tuh. (It was.) But I was being oh so sincere and trying to let y’all in on the real. God got the game on lock, because He is the game....and the lock for that matter! Lemme break it down, aite?

Ladies. What do we want in a man? That varies, I know; but essentially, we want a man who will protect us and provide for us. Someone who will pay us attention and take us out, who will make us feel special, who will open up and be vulnerable with us. A gentleman, who will love us unconditionally and make us laugh. Someone who can lead, who is observant and honest, kind (and a little dangerous/edgy, shhhhh), and who can cook and dress. Someone who we can be our most authentic, vulnerable, chill selves with and shares our same beliefs values and principles. Right?

And fellas. What do y’all want? Lemme see. A woman who is strong yet submissive- can cook, bake, and clean properly; take care of the kids, keep a job, and have her own ambitions; stay loyal and true; be willing to talk, listen and just be silent at times; can kill any outfit, kick it with the fellas (and actually fit in), be secure in her place and not jealous (but a slight attitude is fine cause y’all love a challenge and bit of fiestiness); and shares your beliefs, values and principles.

We both love a lover who can not only balance, but challenge us and make us better. Cause, at the end of the day, your partner is a God-given tool used to continue to shape, prune and grow you. (And give you comfort, but the list goes on, so moving forward.) Isn’t it amazing that God encompasses all of those qualities?

Selah.

Think about it.

How romantic is God? He is so ready to sweep us off our feet (man and woman). He wants to woo us and take us out on lavish dates. He desires to fly us out to exotic places and teach us new languages. He loves to listen to us rant and rave, vent and process, reflect and respond. He adores Netflix and chilling with us! He taught you how to be fly. He gave you the courage to start that new fashion trend. Honey, He blessed those meals you thought were about to be trash lol. He constantly, constantly constantly desires to be around us and watch us, listen to us and talk with us. So yes, He wants to take you on dates and take care of you while you’re sick and whisper sweet nothings to you. He promises to heal you and lift you up when you’re down and spoil you abundantly. 

Fellas, He protects you and rides with you, stays loyal and true to you- stays silent when you don’t wanna talk and inputs when you need to hear it. He guides you, even when you- metaphorically and literally speaking- don’t wanna stop and ask for some got dang directions. He’s the reason you have drive and motivation, suave and swag. Please. Y’all thought y’all taught y’allselves that. Go sit down.

The Lord is on a mission to love us, and love us fully. He did it when He died on the cross and raised Himself back up and opened His arms for us to run into. But everyday, He wants to start anew.

This is something He showed me a week ago and it is so beautifully mind blowing- *inserts journal entry here*:

(Sunday, January 13, 2019- 9:27pm)

Jesus calls us His bride. And....I like that. Yeah. It feels indicative of something. Like, after marriage, we stop saying "Bride," and switch to "Wife." For some, this is an honor- a time of transition and settling into what's finally permanent. It’s like, for years (or months) you all have been building up to this point, and it's finally here. “She is my wife now. Officially. Forever more.” And that's super exciting!! Super giddy and inspiring! But it was something about a deacon at my God sisters’ church, calling his wife his “bride-” after 8 months of marriage- that really got me. Something about that word usage really struck me. It reminded me that Jesus has never called us His “Wife.” But His Bride. The Bride of Christ. Bone of His bone. Flesh of His flesh. It's kinda like He's telling us that He's always in the honeymoon period with us. That our reunion with Him is always and will forever be fresh to Him. Everyday we are at the first day, the big day- standing right there at the altar. And you know what, at first, I low key felt like that was because He recognized how fragile human loyalty is. He knows how temporary the flesh and its decisions are. It's like Jesus officially calling Simon, "Peter." Graduating him from Flimsy Reed (which is what “Simon” means in Hebrew), to Rock (what Peter means in Hebrew). And that graduation only came because of the Father's influence, revelation and power. By his-self, Simon wasn't enough to become Peter. The reed could not transform into the rock without the Potter making another vessel out of the clay. Jesus told him, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven." (Matthew 16:17) Only God's power could bring about the upgrade, the transformation. And like us, without God, we can't be consistent and sturdy, set like rock. We're too flimsy! So Jesus calls us His "bride," because everyday is the wedding day with us! To me, it seemed that He called us this because everyday is a choice to not run from the altar and this union, to stay united and faithful. To not divorce or cheat with other desires and opportunities and people.  But then I realized something. He accepts us afresh and gives us His, "I do," every single day. It's why the Word says His mercies are afresh each morning. Because His “I do” for us is afresh and renewed every morning. Calling us His bride isn't really about our flimsiness, but His willingness and desire to stick by us, no matter if we run. So yeah, everyday we can choose to not leave the altar, but, ultimately, His love is what keeps us from running and what brings us back even when we do! His arms are always open. It's His kindness that leads us unto repentance. So yeah. We are His bride because He marries us and our issues, our shortcomings and flaws and everything stinky, "ugly," evil, weak, and broken in us every day. He says "Yes. I do." with joy overwhelming. Every. Single. Time. His joy never dims. His Yes never dims. Unto eternity.  

What a Sweetheart He is, right? Yeah. God looks at you- yes men, you too- and sees His bride, the church. And every single moment of the day, He gives us His unfailing, fully devoted, enthusiastic, “Yes! I do!” And it will never die. It will never fade. It will never lose that enthusiasm. 

Have you ever felt like you were too much for someone (or the world) and yet simultaneously felt like you just weren’t enough? I have. Often. But that feeling is so against what God intended for me or any of us to feel. God isn’t afraid of your scars. He isn’t afraid of your “ugly side,” your vulnerability or anger, your past or your addictions. He isn’t afraid of your sex life or your cussing habits, your jail time or your insecurities and need for control. He’s not intimidated by you. He isn’t overwhelmed or disgusted by you. 

He wants to spit game to you all day, everyday. Game that will have you leaving them boys and birds alone and settle in for 7:30pm Bible Study on Tuesday night cause ain’t nothing sweeter than your God’s presence. Game that will have you looking at these dudes’ pick up lines like dog poop, cause you’ve read Songs of Solomon. Aaaaannd you let the Lord reveal to you what He thinks about you, so they 3 seconds of acknowledging your fat booty or “gorgeous smile,” just don’t measure up.

I’m telling y’all, God is spitting game at y’all that will give you wisdom and skills to get a promotion at ya job. Who you know that can do that??? What book did you read, what girl did you date, what club did you go to, what sport did you play that gave you the discernment, skills, confidence, and Holy Spirit advantage to go up the ranks at your work place and achieve your dreams while getting checks and coin? Huh? Huh? Huh? Okay cool. I’ll wait.List em out below, please.

All I’m saying y’all, is that God really is the OG Mack Daddy Boo Thang forreal! 

He’s a, “Foreva eva? Foreva eva eva eva?” “True playa forreal, that’s my homie forreal,” sort of love. 

Read the Songs of Solomon and just peep the Shakespearean game this King of all kings is throwing down. Read the Proverbs and the Psalms and the Gospel and just know how your Bae looks at you. 

How He tweaks for you to call on Him. The way His eyes twinkle when He hears your voice or your laugh. Educate yourself on His promises to rain down only the best on you like His name was Ashanti. Research His promises to do right by you, make you better, and luv you betta like His name is LL Cool J. Cause you know Ladies Love Cool Jesus. Let yourself be whisked away on the greatest bae-cation of ya life. 

Because everyday will be the honeymoon when it’s #BooThangAndYou.

Selah.

*Oo, and sidenote: Ladies, stop calling these fools “daddy,” and get with the real Zaddy. Okay? Bloop bloop.

[chloramphenicol-e]

Favorite Kdrama of 2016

After a year of fangirling over kdrama, I am here now to the point of choosing my favorites. Korean drama has been my stress reliever (but sometime they’re the ones causing my stress) while I am struggling with my studies. Also, it is a hobby that me, my classmates and even professors at school seem to share. Haha, it is an epidemic that we never want to find a cure of.

Disclaimer: I know there are many great Korean dramas of 2016 and it is really hard for me to choose. There are a lot of dramas that I was not able to watch or did not manage to finish (probably because I didn’t like them)

1. Goblin

Although it ended January of 2017, it was first aired on December of 2016. It instantly became one of my favorite because of it’s amazing story. I swear I cried a river over this drama. Must watch!

In ancient times, Kim Shin is an unbeatable general in wars, but the young King is jealous of Kim Shin and kills him. Kim Shin becomes Dokkaebi (Goblin), possessing an immortal life. At first he thinks that he is blessed, but he realizes that he is cursed.

2. W - Two Worlds

Like Goblin, the story is amazing. I naturally love dramas with non-cliche plot. Furthermore, I love the chemistry between Lee Jong-suk and Han Hyo-joo. They portray their character so well.

A romance takes place between Kang Chul, who is super rich and exist in the webtoon “W,” and Oh Yeon-Joo who is a surgeon in the real world.

3. Descendants of the Sun

A romance between a doctor and a soldier. Like Lee Jong-suk and Han Hyo-joo--SongSong couple’s Song Jong-ki and Song Hye-kyo’s chemistry is superb. Even though the plot didn’t really amazed me, cinematography and acting is A+. (And I really, really love the second lead love team!!!)

Shi-Jin is the captain of the special forces. He catches a motorcycle thief with Sergeant Major Dae-Young. The thief is injured during his capture and is sent to the hospital. Dae-Young realises his cellphone was stolen by the thief and goes to the hospital to retrieve his cellphone.

In the emergency room, Shi-Jin meets Dr. Mo-Yeon for the first time. He falls in love with her immediately. Mo-Yeon mistakenly assumes Shi-Jin is part of thief's criminal gang. He proves to her that he is a soldier with the help of army doctor Myeong-Joo).

4. Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo

The most lightweight and happy kdrama that I watched. Seriously, I was giggling the whole time I was watching this drama. They are so cute and Bok Joo is one of my favorite drama character. She is amazing (swag!) plus Joon hyung is super sweet, I wish to have a guy like him.

Kim Bok-Joo is a promising collegiate female weightlifter. Her father runs a small chicken restaurant and her uncle wants to become an actor. She has a bright personality and strong sense of justice. Kim Bok-Joo and her friends on the female weightlifting team are not popular with the guys and they don't have boyfriends. The weightlifting team and the rhythmic gymnastic team also don't get along at all.

Meanwhile, Jung Joon-Hyung is a collegiate swimmer plagued with numerous false start disqualifications. He is 21-years-old and has a free spirit. His uncle and aunt raised him along with his cousin Jung Jae-Yi.

5. Doctors

I absolutely love medical dramas. Both Yeon-Joo from W and Mo-Yeon from Descendants are doctors (with bangs!) and now we have my favorite female doctor/surgeon Hye-jung from Doctors.

Compared to the two mentioned dramas, Doctors really focused on the medical plot. It inspired me more to become a better student! Hye-jung’s character is what I look up to for a role model. Personally, I also see my self in her shoes since I’m studying for my premed, I also don’t have my parents with me and has only my grandmother to guide and take care of me.

When Hye-Jung was young, her life was difficult. She was good at fighting, but also studied well. Overcoming her tough situation, she is now a doctor.

6. Legend of the Blue Sea

I love both Lee Min-ho and Jun Ji-hyun as actors. Them pairing up is wonderful. The story kind of remind me of My Love From Another Star. Maybe it’s just me but nevertheless, I still love this drama.

Joon-Jae is a smooth talking conman with magician like abilities. He works with Nam-Doo and Tae-O. For their next score, Joon-Jae impersonates a prosecutor and swindles a large amount of money from a wealthy suspect's mother. Joon-Jae then travels abroad and stays at an oceanside resort. Meanwhile, Sim Chung is swept up in a tidal wave and washed ashore near the oceanside resort. She sees Joon-Jae.

7. Love in the Moonlight

To be honest, I am not the type to like historical dramas. No hate. But, one of my classmates told me that this drama is a must-watch. The kdrama addict inside me convinced me to watch the first episode and yay! I end up finishing it. Our lovely Bogummy did a good job in portraying the crown prince.

Hong Ra-On disguises herself as a man and counsels men on dating. Due to a love letter she wrote for a client, she meets Crown Prince Hyomyeong. Hong Ra-On is unaware that he is the Crown Prince and Hyomyeong is unaware that Hong Ra-On is a woman. The Crown Prince becomes interested in Hong Ra-On. His eunuchs become aware of this and attempt to get Hong Ra-On to become one of them.

Sources: AsianWiki

[satansoldhissoultome]

I just found something that made me thank god that i stopped trying to write😂

The mansion was empty

And silent

And creepy

I, ever the cliché was to stay there for the night over a bet

It wasn't a stupid bet, mind you. I kind of really needed the money

This would be the part where i allude to some tragic/moving backstory™ , like how i need the money for my mom's hospital bills. Or how i'm saving up to fulfill a lifelong dream or something

Except none of that is true

I come from a completely normal family, with caring, albeit a bit overzealous parents.

Makes you wonder how i turned out this way, eh?

Then why did you need the money, you ask.

Well, one word for you, my man.

Doughnuts

Any way, where was i?

Right, the flippety flappaty mansion

I've always wondered about that.

Why do ghosts only haunt big and spacey houses

I mean, if yout think about it, it doesn't really make sense.

Why would ghosts only haunt villas and palaces.

Like, is that a ghost law. Or can only people from bigshot families become ghosts.

I say, stop the discrimination.

Anybody can become a ghost. Anybody can haunt, anybody can kill, maim, or scarr a person's very soul, leave them so frightened that the Only escape are the welcoming arms of Death™ herself-

Ahem.

Got a little carried away.

So anyway,here i am, strolling around this 'haunted' house, trynna find a decent place to set camp, when suddenly, something moves

Now before we proceed, let me go into legend of the "rosenmund-what-kind-of-house-has-a-name-villa" haunting.

As long as people can remember, this villa has been empty. It is said to be haunted by a certain sir-i-really-don't-care , belonging to the whatever-man family.

That's it.

That's the whole legend.

What were you expecting? A 50 page analysis of the said ghost's life and unlife? 17 diary entries, half burnt off which we could discuss over tea and scones? Come on , gurl..

There ARE some varying details of this haunting, but you don't wanna know that.

Wait,let me rephrase that, i really don't feel like saying more stupid shit than i absolutely have to

Back to the sound, then

It was an awful, creaky, sound and it seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere all at once, or some other crap.

I sighed…gathering all the shits i gave

"Hellooo..?

Unsurprisingly, i did not get a 'hi there' back, but if there's one quality i have ,its perseverance.( that word of the day toilet paper was a really good idea)

"Hellllloooo,

It's me.....

I start Singing adele's 'hello' in full volume, because, well, i effing CAN--

Something interrupts my sweet, melodious voice.

How dare they, i was just about to hit the high notes

"Pleaaaasee..."

Said a raspy voice. A voice which seemed to have been unused for centuries.( Probably a wise decision *ahem, ahem*)

"Pleassee, stop this.

"For the love of god, at once, cease this wretched sound" Something said in a pleading slash disgusted voice.

And then, enter from the corner, a ghost™.

It was....

Human

Just a transluscent human.

I was kind of surprised, and to be honest, a little let down.

I mean, the stories i had heard, of disgusting monsters and unimaginable horrors. This was honestly a disappointment. Definitely want my money back.

But the more important concern right now was defending my honour

" Aww, come on man. Don't diss a bro's singing. I happen to have a very melodious voice.

And yes, the cracking bit IS a part of that

You're just a few centuries behind on music and shit.

" Or maybe you're just jealous. I mean, i would be pretty miserable too if i had your squeaky voice and THAT fashion sense" i said, using my best judgy-fudgy look

The ghost turned red, sputtering..

Then,

remembering that it was a ghost, he paled his complexion, maintained his composure, and began in a sinister voice,

" You, puny child, dare to enter MY deathly abode, with your impolite words, your atrocious singing and your shiny.."he pauses, squinting at my feet "are those shoes? For gods' sake, young man, are you wearing shining shoes??" he said, breaking character. With much indignation i opened my mouth, my mind already forming an argument about swag and pagan rituals, but before i could present my carefully compiled thesis on 'da shoes', he interrupted me with a loud, deafening roar. The chandelier ( of COURSE there was a chandelier) began to tremble, furniture started flying, lightning struck without context,blah blah blah

" Eh, I've seen toddlers that are more scary than this" i said, stifling a yawn. "Also," i pointed out, "your fly is open"

Blushing, He looked down, only to look back again " aargh,. I am not even corporeal, for god's sakE. AND i am wearing pajama bottoms."

"Wait a second", i stopped him mid rant( something about bratty teenagers, i don't know what THAT'S about) " how do you even know what a fly is ?

I mean, you were born in what, 200ad?"

" What? No!

I actually died 40-50 years ago. It just happens to be that this damned place only has old, shakespeare-y books there aren't many modes of recreation here, hence the old-man-meets-older-man speaking style"

" Okay..

i mean, way to try to explain away a weird plothole, but okay"

" Enough chitchat

Time to die--

[a-novel-ty]

★★★★½ | January. 31. 2017

Goodreads Summary

Y'all cute! I always say that to characters when they’re being annoyingly adorable in the books that I’m reading because I’m crazy and talk to fictional characters…I need help! Lol. Simone and Roman were cute, this story was cute, their relationship was cute. It was just cute. I’m starting to think 'cute' is Christina C Jones’ superpowers. She just knows how to write good stories with awesome characters in relationships that make you envious if you aren’t in a relationship of your own and jealous if you are because I can PROMISE you, it’s nothing like what the characters’ relationship is like. Following the trend of Black Excellence that Christina loves to follow and that I have NO problem reading EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Simone owns her own flower shop “Posh Petals” that she started on her own, runs on her own and has developed, grown and garnered success from, on her own. Right across the street is Romans Coffee Shop “Urban Grind” which is the typical place for coffee connoisseurs by day and a nice hangout spot by night. Thanks to Romans friend being a major jackass and forgetting his wife's birthday, Roman and Simone cross paths and are thrown on a journey toward this Crazy Little Thing Called Love. (That was cheesy, I know, but ask me if I care!) With a set-up like that, you would expect this book to be all rainbows and sunshine, chocolate chips and candy canes, Ben and Jerrys…you get where I’m going with this. But trust me…this book wouldn’t be receiving the rating it has if that were the case because that's BORING. The stars have aligned for Simone and Roman to have a whirlwind romance filled with passion and happiness but everyone has baggage. "A Crazy Little Thing Called Love" follows Roman and Simone on their journey as they try and figure out what they mean to one another and if their feelings for each other can trump the baggage they just can't seem to shake. I'm going to go a little off book here... I love that Christina’s books always feel real. Too many times, you read romance novels (new adult or just contemporary) and the stories seem so far fetched or out of reach that you can’t really LOSE yourself in the story. A Crazy Thing Called Love is a realistic and believable book. It’s a book that will have you stopping and thinking about what you would do if you were in some of the situations the characters end up in because the story is authentic enough that you COULD ask yourself these questions. Realistic enough that many people reading this story might have been or ARE in the very same position as them. I think it's a testament to how great of an author Christina is because I feel like the majority of us read books to escape. To get away from reality and this baffling thing we call life. But to write a story that is realistic, that has the ability to stress you out because it is so easy to relate or put yourself in the characters shoes, but STILL make it fun and entertaining to read, that’s not easy to do. Yet time and time again, Christina does it and in a way that makes it seem effortless. I know I’m supposed to be reviewing the book and I am instead gushing about how awesome of an author Christina is…but, to be honest, there’s only so many times I can rave about her books being good. The book is good, READ IT…. I just want to give a little insight into WHY I enjoy her books so much. It’s not just that the characters are bomb, are always professional and always have just the right amount of swag. It’s not just that Roman is the kind of man every woman would kill to have and that every man should strive to be. (I can’t say why without spoiling a plot point) It’s not just that Simone comes off as a real girl with real problems that everyday women face. It’s because Christina consistently tells the stories of characters you can’t help but to love in a way that doesn’t feel contrived or over the top. Reading about these successful, mature, cool, Black business owners doesn’t feel like an exception, a rarity or surprise. It feels normal and like just another story because it IS normal and we need more of that. To be honest, It’s a little bit funny that I decided this was the book that I was going to go all fangirl and rave about Christina on because this is my least favorite book out of the eight that I’ve read so far. With that being said, it was STILL good. I still enjoyed it, devoured it and I will definitely read the rest of the books in this series. Even at her worst, Christina slays…. And I don’t even feel right using that word! Recommendation: I think what I’m going to say is pretty obvious at this point. Just pick up one of her books and read it. You won’t regret it I PROMISE you.