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blissfulalchemist · 4 years ago

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“Do you miss them?” + “this is for the best.” For CatRaf?

Hi Jo! Your reward is getting a little bit of Cat’s past! Thank you though for suggesting cause Cat needs to address this.

“Wren, I’ve been thinking,” Cat gave a small pause meeting Wren’s blue eyes, “I think its time for me to go home.”

She gave me a smirk, “Not for another three hours. If I have to suffer then so do you,” she gave a laugh, “It’s what sisters do.”

Cat looked away hiding the sharp pain in her heart at Wren calling them sisters. There was no doubt that they were sisters on some level, but recently every time it was mentioned Cat felt like it was wrong to some extent. It hurt. She had sisters, blood ones, two states away that she hadn’t seen in almost two years beyond the pictures they posted or sent her now, and here she was building a new family like they didn’t even exist. Cat pushed the food around in the tupperware, her voice soft, “That’s not what I meant Wren,” she looked up to her friend through the hair falling in her face trying to gauge Wren’s reaction.

Wren set her bite of cheesecake down, “Oh. You mean home home.” Cat gave a small nod, “You don’t mean forever right?”

“No,” she shook her head, “Just for a little bit. There’s some things I need to take care of.” Things that need to be done before I move forward.

“Do you miss them?” Cat looked up waiting for some kind of clarification, “Your family.”

“Yeah,” she gave a small shrug, “It’s been almost two years since I’ve seen them in person. I’ve,” she let out a slow breath, “I’ve missed a lot and its time I start trying to repair those relationships. I can’t keep running forever.”

Wren gave a slow nod, “You’re right about that. Have you talked to Raf about it yet? Is he going with you?”

“I don’t think so, but I’m talking to him about it all tonight,” she said as she gave Wren’s hand a gentle squeeze, “It’s just for a week.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The slam of the trunk made Cat’s heart race as she looked at her faint reflection in the body of her car. She was really doing this, really going back home for the first time in a long time. She turned giving Wes a hug and then to Wren, “You sure you’re going to be okay all by yourself,” Cat could hear the worry in Wren’s voice, You promise you’ll come back for sure, “I can always go with you still. Offer some protection against your family.”

“I’ll be fine Wren, it’s only for a week like I said. Back before you know it,” Cat held out her hand pinky extended, Wren smirking, “I never break a pinky promise. Just ask Wes.” She let out a small laugh as she interlocked her pinky with Cat’s.

“Yeah Shadow,” Cat jumped at the sudden closeness of Raf’s voice behind her, “Sorry,” he gave her a kiss on the cheek, “Cat’s gonna be fine. I’m going with her.”

She looked up to Raf who was already loading a bag in the trunk and a small cooler in the back seat, “No you’re not. I told you I was doing this on my own.”

“I won’t get in your way,” he grabbed her hand, “Besides I’d be seen as a shit boyfriend if I didn’t meet your family. Can’t have that now can we?”

Cat took a deep breath, a smile coming to her face, “No we don’t. Pretty sure I’d never live it down if I didn’t bring you along.”

Raf kissed her forehead before turning to Wren, “Now make sure he eats and gets enough entertainment and play. Take him on a walk at least once a day,” Cat and Wes rolled their eyes, hers more playful with a smile.

Cat gave Raf a small nudge with her elbow, “Stop it. Wren’s taken care of Wes before.” She pointed to Wes, “Now see you gotta make sure she has enough cheesecake, love, and attention while I’m gone. I don’t want to come back to a sad Wren.”

Wren gave a small laugh as Wes waved them to the car, “Alright, get outta here.” Raf grabbed the keys from Cat making his way to the drivers side. Once settled the two waved as they pulled out of the driveway to the main road.

“At least it’s easy to get there once we’re on I-90,” Cat mused as she got the music set up for the ten hour drive, “Then it’s I-25 and I can give more specific directions as we’re closer.” Cat looked down at the phone in her hand, eyes staring through the screen, “You really didn’t have to come with me, Raf.”

He glanced her way briefly, “I know why you’re really going,” he reached for her hand kissing the top of it, “You shouldn’t be alone for it. I also promise you I won’t be in your way, but I’ll be there for when you need me.” Cat leaned up kissing his cheek in thanks, laying her head against his shoulder as they started their day long drive.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She felt glued to the seat as she looked up to the town house, the light blue a bright spot against the navy sky. She didn’t want to stay with family and had opted out of a hotel, that may have been a mistake on her part. She forced herself out of the car and up to the front door on her shaky legs. It had been empty all this time, the last person to walk through was a friend that was asked to make sure everything was okay and in order still for her arrival. She should have sold this place a while ago, but it was one of the last things that bound her here in a way, if you looked beyond the logistics.

The door swung open as she came face to face with the small wall where his coat still hung, shoes still lined up under the little bench, and the unopened box of multichrome utensils above them. She stepped through the threshold to the past, well a skeleton version of it. There were things too valuable to lose packed and stored away in places that could be locked up, until she decided what to do. The posters, pictures, furniture, books, knick knacks, and memorabilia still where she left it, like she had never left. The empty cases Theo had been looking through to find a game he needed still fanned out on the coffee table. The converted poker table still had dice and character sheets on it from the game they had all played. The small dining table was still set up ready for an anniversary dinner, all of it an echo of the past that she had refused to let go of.

Walking around she could see that her friend was kind enough to clean everything up, even leaving fresh linens that weren’t hers on the bed and in the bathroom upstairs. The once vacuumed sealed pillows, fluffy and set up with the rest of the bed. Their bed. She wondered if the pillows still held the scent of his body wash on them. “Cat,” Raf’s voice was soft as he walked up behind her, setting their bags just outside the room. Pictures of them still hung on the walls in this part of the house, “How are you holding up,” he whispered, putting his arms around her.

Her eyes couldn’t stop scanning the room, pieces of that day still lingering after all this time, things she never moved because she didn’t want to believe he was gone. Eventually they just became reminders that he was there, parts of him that were always going to stay with her. “We don’t have to sleep in the bed, mi amor,” Raf suggested. She shook her head slowly, walking towards the bed, her fingers brushing the left side of the bed, before picking up one of the pillows. She didn’t need to bring it up to her nose to get the faintest hint of his scent lingering. Cat felt her legs buckle beneath her, sitting on the bed clutching the pillow.

The hole she felt in her chest ached, the edges searing, as it pulled apart, her eyes filling with tears. She felt herself start to rock, burying her face into the pillow, the faint creaking of Raf’s footsteps nearing her. He bent down meeting her at eye level, hand on her knee, “Do you want some time alone?” She gave a nod, holding back her sobs, “Okay,” he nodded slowly as he stood, “I’ll keep the door open a bit,” he gave her a small hug kissing the top of her head, “I’ll be downstairs on the couch if you need me.” She listened for the familiar sounds of someone downstairs away from the sounds of her crying, before lying on the bed clutching on to the pillow in her arms.

The sound of the front door slamming woke Catlina up, her mind going back to that morning, panic surging through her before she focused on the sheets, different from that day. She took a few deep breaths listening to the rest of the small house. She heard faint shuffling in the kitchen downstairs, getting up to change into the pjs she brought with her. She made her way down the stairs quietly, sitting once she was able to see the kitchen through the wooden railing. She watched as Raf put away groceries and set things up for breakfast, trying to get acquainted with where everything was in her old kitchen.

He mumbled to himself as he opened every cabinet and drawer looking for the skillet, she smiled watching as he missed checking under the oven. “The oven,” she said, Raf’s brown eyes looking up to her in surprise. She nodded to the oven, “Skillet is in the drawer under it.” He bent down pulling it out holding it up for her to see.

She stayed in place watching him, “You used to watch him cook from there,” Raf asked, smiling, getting the pan warmed up.

“He didn’t cook very much,” she leaned her head against the wood, “But I would when he tried to surprise me with breakfast. It was always the smell of the pancakes that woke me.”

“The box ones, I assume,” Cat nodded watching as he put the bacon in the pan. “Guess some things never change,” she tilted her head confused, “I was hoping to surprise you with breakfast already made,” he pointed with the chef’s knife at her, “and there you are sitting there watching me.”

She grew quiet, watching him a minute longer before getting up to sit at the small breakfast bar. “What would you want to do today?” She rested her chin on top of her hands on the counter, “We don’t have to be at the dinner until four and you woke me up earlier than I thought you would.”

He chuckled, his eyes never leaving his work, “You’re still adamant about the main reason we’re here being done tomorrow?” She didn’t answer, “Well if that’s the case let’s do something easy in the city.”

“Like the museum and zoo?”

“Don’t think we’ll have enough time for both, Conejito,” he said, “Gotta be one or the other.”

She rolled her eyes, “We easily can do both. The museum and zoo are basically across the street from each other. My sisters and I would do both all the time. Start with the zoo because it’s cooler in the morning and then do the museum while it’s hot outside.”

He gave her a kiss, “You lead and I’ll follow, how about that?”

Raf was proven wrong in their ability to accomplish both places in one day, the tension relieving as they walked around each place doing all they could, except the IMAX at the museum. Cat promised him that they would come back before they left, knowing he wasn’t going to leave it be.

Despite all the memories that she had with the places they saw it didn’t hurt. Even when they passed the spot that Theo had proposed to her at, the pain wasn’t the knife it once was. She kept it from Rafael though, using the water display beyond it to stop and stare. It was also the spot they had both been at before they ever met, both on a school field trip, their classes on either side of the water display. She had no memory of ever seeing Theo but he had somehow clung to the image of her face in his subconscious enough to friend her online a month later, or so he claimed each time he brought it up.

As loose as she felt while there dissipated as the two drove from her house to her grandparents’ house. She let Raf drive not trusting her mind to be focused on the windy canyon road there, her nerves getting the better of her. No one was mad at her, many were excited to see her, see her happy and coming to a place of normal. The person they remembered her being. Cat just couldn’t shake the feeling that it was an act and that she was tricking them somehow or they were all saying that now but the minute they heard of the new family she started to build in Montana they would turn on her.

Her hand clung to Raf’s tightly as they walked up to the front door, conversation heard from the back of the house on the patio. Cat knocked on the door waiting to be let in, despite her sister Maya telling her to just walk in once she got there. It was Jaxson that answered the door, his blonde hair longer and falling into his blue eyes that lit up as a smile spread across his face. He quickly embraced her in a tight hug, Raf letting go of her hand taking a small step back, “God it’s so nice to see you again,” he pulled away leading her inside, “Everyone’s here you know. It kind of turned into a welcome party.” Hearing Raf close the door had Jax’s blue eyes land on him, the two men assessing the other, before Jax held his hand out, “You must be the one everyone can’t stop whispering about. I’m Jax.”

Raf shook his hand smiling, “Rafael,” his brown eyes landing on Cat, “You hear that Conejito, they’re already talking about me.” She gave a small laugh as Jax led the two of them outside, everyone making it easy for her to greet them as they seemed to make a line in front of her, Raf soon pushed to the side. Person after person approached Catlina wanting to talk with her or never let her go, it was overwhelming and scaring her as her eyes strayed to her sisters and father patiently waiting.

Raf noticed and tried to pull her away best he could without seeming rude. She stood before the three of them with only a moment passing before Maya took the first step to her. Her arms encircled her older sister, her black hair falling into Cat’s face as she buried her face into her neck. They held each other close tears falling from both of them, Catlina feeling a closeness that could only come from a bond like this. How could I ever have abandoned this, she thought as Maya pulled away wiping the tears from her face.

“We’ve missed you so much,” Xandie stepped up for her turn at a hug as Maya spoke, “We were starting to think that we would never hear from you again.”

Cat held tightly to her youngest sister, “Started to think the worse happened to you,” Xandie cried into Cat’s hair, “just kept waiting for that call.”

“I’m sorry,” Cat stammered out between the sobs that were starting, pulling Maya back into their group hug, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You’re back now,” Maya said softly stroking Cat’s hair, “That’s what matters more right now. We can work on everything else as time goes on.”

“We just don’t want you to leave us behind again,” Xandie said lightly hitting the back of Cat’s shoulder, “Even if you choose to stay up there, you’re not going to lose contact with us. Any of us.”

Cat nodded, “I promise. I promise. I love you both so much..” The girls heard their father clear his throat behind them, pulling away from each other. She wiped the tears from her face steadying her breathing as she looked to dad, his stocky build still the same with his five foot eight inches height. His black hair had greyed more and more wrinkles formed around his eyes, dark brown like hers as they looked the other up and down before she ran into his arms. “I’m so sorry dad.”

His arms felt safe and sturdy like they always had since she was a child, “Like your sister said, you’re here now.” He kissed the top of her head, his eyes looking up to Raf standing silently to the side, “Who’s he?”

Cat hummed as she brought her face to meet Raf’s, she pulled away waving him over to her. She took a step back standing next to him, “Dad,” she looked to her sisters who came to stand close to their father, “Maya, Xandie, this is Rafael Estrada. Raf this is Maya, Xandie, and my dad Dominic.”

Raf quickly had a smile on and his hand out to shake theirs, “Pleasure to meet you all. Cat’s told me a lot about you all.”

“And yet we’ve heard so little of you,” her dad said shaking Raf’s hand.

“It’s the guy she’s been seeing, dad,” Xandie told him, rolling her eyes, “I hope you know I don’t like you very much.” Cat’s eyes went wide, “Don’t give me that look. Until I can prove he’s not some jerk that’s gonna kidnap you again forever, I won’t like him.”

“I’m with her sister on this one,” Dominic said, looking Raf up and down, “Nothing too personal but you got some shoes to fill.”

“Well hopefully I can make my own, I don’t want to be a replacement,” raf said shaking her sisters’ hands, “Could never dream of taking his place.”

Dominic gave a small nod, taking in Raf’s posture, “What branch are you?”

“Excuse me?”

Dominic nodded to how Raf was standing, “Know a military man when I see one. What branch?”

Cat saw Raf stand taller, if it was possible, before answering, “Marines. I’m a pilot,” her dad raised a brow nodding, “Does that win me some points?”

“Just one in dad’s eyes,” Maya interjected.

“One more than I just had,” Raf said laughing.

The two men soon got to talking and Maya was pulling Cat away to the kitchen, “You didn’t send any good pictures that gave his face justice,” she fanned herself the two laughing. “He seems nice enough though. How long have you two been dating?”

Cat looked up to the ceiling doing the math, “I’ve known him for a little over a year and a half, but we started to date about a year ago.”

“He’s the reason you started to talk to us again,” she responded softly. Cat looked at her confused, “If I’m remembering correctly that’s when you started to reach out to us again and it was because of him.”

“Well not just him.”

“But he’s a big reason,” Maya nudged her, seeing the blush starting to run up her neck, “It’s okay if it is. It means I can be madder at him if he breaks your heart.”

“Maya!” The two laughed as they gathered drinks to pass around as the party normalized, Cat making the rounds almost three times with introducing Raf to everyone. The third time was everyone wanting to talk to her trying to catch up in the little time they had, she was glad the two decided to stay a week. She could make smaller gatherings in that time frame, if this party went well she might even brave seeing her mom one more time, one last attempt to have some connection with her.

The conversation quieted as a late guest strode in through the house. Cat recognized the shorter stature and brown hair of her mom before she saw her face. Cat’s heart raced leaning to Maya, “You didn’t tell me she was coming.”

“I didn’t invite her, just told her you would be in town,” she whispered. They looked to Xandie who shook her head. “Wasn’t dad,” her sisters’ eyes narrowed as they landed on Raf a few yards away talking to Jax and his brothers, “Was it him?”

The slight clench in Rafael’s jaw as he realized who just came was enough to know that it wasn’t him, “No. He’d never do that to me.” Cat took a deep breath, walking up to Gina, “What are you doing here?”

“What? Am I not allowed to see my own daughter?” She asked her eyes misting over as she took Catlina in. “I had to come and see you,” she reached a hand up to Cat’s face, Cat leaning back from her grasp.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? I missed you. Your sisters weren’t the only ones you cut all contact with when you left,” she argued crossing her arms.

“Except I cut off contact with you two years before I left.”

“I still don’t understand why. You had no reason to do that.”

“I had every reason to. You left me, told me what was happening wasn’t real, that I was making it all up.”

“And I wasn’t wrong,” Gina shook her head, “You had everything growing up, there was no need for you to throw a tantrum like that, you were twenty three it was time for you to grow up.”

“You don’t listen do you?” Cat shook her head, “You never did. I was in pain. I needed comfort and you took it away, withheld it unless I was able to be what you wanted me to be.”

“You never wanted my comfort growing up so I didn’t think you needed or wanted it, if you really were in pain.” She lowered her voice, “Look I’m your mom. I’m far from perfect but you never were able to see that yourself were you?”

“Don’t turn this around. I know you’re not perfect, I was fine with that,” Cat took a breath holding back the lump in her throat forming, “But even imperfect parents and people are willing to change, adapt, and learn from their mistakes.” Cat saw Raf slowly make his way over to her, “I didn’t even expect much from you after that day in the hospital mom. I just wanted an apology for that one mistake. Not for everything else you did just that one mistake and you still couldn’t do that.”

“I did nothing wrong. I was there for you just like you wanted me to be.”

“No! No you weren’t! You couldn’t even tell me that you loved me.”

“I do love you though. You taught me what love was.”

“They why didn’t you tell me that when I needed it most!” Her tears were welling up in her eyes, “It’s like you decided to just give up on me. Made me feel like I was worthless, could easily be tossed aside. Only worthy of any kind of affection from you if I could put on a damn mask. Newsflash! I’m your daughter and you should love me for all of me. Not just what you pick and choose from.”

“Don’t speak to me like that,” Gina’s eyes narrowed, “I’m still your mother.”

“Not until you start acting like one! I’m tired of playing these games with you! You’re never going to change and until you start showing some kind of real progress of that I’m never going to call you mom.”

The pain was sharp on her cheek, needles following as Cat looked back up to Gina’s eyes, “And I deserve a more respectful daughter.”

Raf’s body behind hers was a comfort as she brought her hand up to her cheek, “I think it’s time for you to leave,” he said coolly.

Gina’s eyes flicked up to Raf then back down to Cat. “I guess this is for the best then that I’ll never respect you. We both get what we want that way,” Cat’s voice was low, her heart no longer racing, “Have a nice life Gina.”

Gina’s face was stone as she looked to Raf, “I hope you know you’ll never be good enough. No matter what you do, you’ll always be a failure in her eyes. Better to get gone while you can,” she gave one last look to Cat, eyes cold, hands in fists at her side, “It was Theo’s downfall, why is he going to end up any different.”

“Mom it’s time to go,” Maya pushed, escorting Gina out of the house, the other guests silent as they made a path.

Cat let out a shaky breath once she heard the car leave, Raf moving in front to face, “Let’s go somewhere more private,” he said, putting his arms around her leading her inside to one of the empty bedrooms. Cat felt the sobs wracked her body as soon as the door shut, falling to her knees trying to catch her breath. He sat on the floor trying to move her into his lap, settling for rubbing her back and stroking her hair when she refused, whispering words of comfort to her as the tears flowed freely.

The more she cried the lighter she felt. Different from the many times she had cried over her mom and losing her, there was always something heavy to be felt afterwards, not this time. She was free. Finally free of her, she didn’t have to carry her with her anymore, Cat could finally leave her behind. There was no leaving behind the scars that were made but now there was no risk to the stitches being reopened, she could heal and leave them be. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed but as the crying slowed, Cat moved to sit in his lap resting her head against his chest, “Do we need to leave early,” he asked softly, his arms cradling her.

She shook her head, “No,” Cat looked up to him, “I’m free, my love. I just need a moment before we go back.” She felt him kiss the top of her head, “I’m sorry for what she said,” she leaned up to kiss him, “You know it’s not true right. I never have or ever will see you as a failure.”

“I know,” he wiped the last stray tears away, “What’s one woman’s, that I had never met before now, opinion worth when she can’t even appreciate the person that you are.” Cat returned his soft smile, letting herself snuggle up to him as she felt the wave of emotions pass. Once they did she cleaned up and they both returned to the party that seemed to be back to normal after the scene that was made, Cat and Raf finally able to fully enjoy the reunion until the late hours of the night.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“You sure you want me to stay here,” Raf asked as Cat looked out the passenger window to the top of the hill littered with gravestones. Some new ones had been placed since she last visited, and she recognized the older gentleman walking up the hill with a bouquet of mission bell poppies in his hand. They were his wife’s favorite flowers, he brought them almost daily when they bloomed at their house, mixing two red roses on their anniversary, because that was the color of the sash that she wore with her dress. “Cat?”

She didn’t look back to Raf, “I need to do this part on my own. I’ll be okay.” Raf let out a breath nodding as she stepped out of the car, drawstring backpack in hand. Cat made her way up the hill careful of stepping on the graves, her hands shaking as she moved closer and closer to his gravestone at the top. Her graveyard buddy was already there, setting the flowers down, as she reached into her bag, “I was hoping to see you Ed.”

His jade green eyes lit up as they landed on her, “You’re a sight for sore eyes. Did you make it to the small town like you wanted?”

“I did,” she handed over the box of lemon cookies, “Met someone that helped me perfect your wife’s recipe that you gave me.”

He opened the box pulling out a cookie, his smile getting bigger as he chewed, turning to the gravestone, “You seeing this Joanie, your cookies are going to live on.” He gave a small laugh, “No they aren’t an exact replica but they’re damn close,” he shook his head facing Cat again, “We were never able to figure out that one step she did to make them but I’m glad you came really close to it,” he gave her a hug, “Thank you.”

“I’ll send some down to you as often as I can.”

“I’d like that,” he nodded to Theo’s gravestone, “I think he’s missed you,” Cat looked over seeing small flowers growing along the edges of the stone, “Started growin’ the little bluebells a couple months after you left.”

Cat took a breath waving goodbye to the man moving to sit in front of the stone, the backpack sitting in her lap. “Hey Theo,” she started reaching into the bag, “Happy anniversary,” Cat pulled out a picture frame along with a game case. “Sorry I’ve been gone for so long. I just needed some time to figure out what the next step was,” she gave a sheepish smile, “Don’t think I didn’t think about you or didn’t miss you while I was away.” Cat twisted a finger around a long piece of grass, “I’ve missed you since you left for work that morning. I was,” Cat’s voice caught, “I was so excited for you to come home that night three years ago. I just couldn’t believe we had been married for two years already, that our life had started and was going to just get better.” Cat held up the game case, “Look, I even still have your present, er, well sort of. I think Jax snuck into the house and borrowed it, but I don’t think you would have minded that.” She placed the game against the stone, letting her shoulder slump.

“Theo, you know that there’s no way I could ever really stop loving you. You’re always going to be in my heart,” Cat looked down the hill to the parked car Raf sat in, reading the book he borrowed from the house, “but I found the next step, my love. I know where to go now.” Tears filled her eyes as she looked back, “I feel like you had my car break down in Hope County on purpose, knew where I needed to be, I’m sure you were tired of seeing me so sad all the time. Is that why you sent all the people you have to me?” Cat pulled out a smaller frame holding two pictures, “It was you that led me to meeting Wes, Wren, Rowan, Randy, Jane, Mel, Whitney, Chance, and Raf. If it wasn’t then you better strike me down with a gust of wind, if it’s a breeze I’ll take it as a yes.” Cat saw the dried petals move before she felt the small breeze, smiling and feeling the few tears she had roll down her cheeks, “I knew it. You always knew how to best take care of me.”

She sniffled, “You know I want to tell you about them but I have one other thing that’s really important,” Cat waited for the small breeze to pass through before continuing, “See there’s this guy, Rafael, and we started dating about a year ago, which maybe you know already, I don’t really know how the afterlife works,” she let out a small laugh shrugging. “Anyway, I think we’re getting to a point of wanting to move forward and I want to, with him, I love him. I just can’t until I know you’ll be okay with it, that you don’t feel like I betrayed you, because I love you too. I will always love you.” Cat looked down to the ground watching as the tears landed on the grass below her, “You’re gone though so I need to finally let you go. So can you give me some sign right here that you understand that?”

Cat looked around silently for anything that seemed out of the ordinary, letting out a sigh slumping her shoulders, “It’s not-,” she started before her eyes landed on a small bunny that was making its way to her. Cat watched as the small breeze scared it so they hid behind the game case, toppling over once it’s little nose stuck out from the other side. Cat laughed wiping the tears away, “You could have also just sent a breeze but thanks for the clarity of your answer.” She propped the case back up, “I’m not just gonna let Raf push you down like that though I hope you know.” Cat took the bigger frame, a copy of their first kiss at their wedding in it, and placed it next to the case. She looked to the other frame, the two photos were group ones. One was of her and Theo with their group of friends, while the other was of Cat and the little family she started to make back in Montana, “These are for you too. So you don’t forget and so you can put faces to names as you and I catch up. We have,” she looked to the time on her phone. It read two thirty in the afternoon, “Exactly three years to catch up on. You know I still remember all the stuff I wanted to talk to you about during our anniversary dinner.”

Cat sat for two hours talking to the gravestone reminiscing and explaining all that she had done, the good, the bad, and the funny. Sitting there talking to her late husband she felt content with the knowledge that after all this time she was going to let go. He’d never leave her heart, his memory will always be tinged with pain and despair, and this day was always going to be one she could never get over, but now she was going to carry him with the same weight as his wedding ring on her wrist. It was just as Ed had told her when he found her crying a few days after the funeral, and he was right, it was enough to carry them lightly, so long as they were never forgotten.

She had a smile on her face as she slid back into the car, Raf looking her over, “I’m fine, mi amor,” her eyes met his, “I’m really okay. I’m ready to move on.” She kissed Rafael deeply, “It’s time to move forward. I’m ready.”

#x: top chefs #sorry I am bad at moving from scenes sometimes but yeah #angst monday everyone

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seyaryminamoto · 5 years ago

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Do you think they could make Azula gay in the netflix live-action? Many people in the fandom seem to think she had a thing for Ty Lee. I don't see it, but do you think they could retcon the show just to pander to shippers?

Somehow I knew this sort of question would pop up in my inbox one day. I just did. Such foresight powers I have (?)

Anyways, the answer got pretty long, but I hope it’s comprehensive enough in regards of why I don’t think it’s likely, why, even if it happens, we shouldn’t freak out about it regardless of if it negates our headcanons, and why, on top of it all any characterization the ATLA cast gets in the liveaction should be judged as part of a second timeline, removed from the first, and analyzed as such.

Alright, first of all... despite what popular opinion these days would have everyone believe, a character’s sexuality and sexual identity are not the only relevant and important factors in them; in fact, I wouldn’t even call them the most important factors unless you’re outright telling a story with very specific socially critical purposes in mind. Yes, you can deal with these subjects in stories that aren’t exclusively about sexuality, and yes, it offers important representation to communities that were largely unseen for the bulk of human history. But making a character’s entire story arc revolve around nothing but sexuality and their struggles because of it is actually a failure at offering good representation? The point in having media featuring representation in the form of diverse fictional characters is based on allowing minorities to see themselves in this kind of content and for majorities to understand these minorities and their stories are just as valid as theirs are. If minorities are reduced to a single aspect of their multifacetic lives, the only thing the story in question would achieve is turning a character with the potential to be dynamic and complex into some flat minority stereotype, throwing away the countless human complexities through which media can tell rich and important stories that do provide genuine, quality representation to these communities.

Ergo, if Azula were written as a gay character in this Netflix adaptation, this aspect of the reworked character should not, and frankly, CANNOT, be the only thing that matters about her. Azula has a large role to play in this story, a role related to the war, her family, her friends and her nation, and a lot of her complexities stem from how she deals with all these subjects, none of which have anything to do with romance or sexuality. Therefore, I’m pretty sure a lot of us loved her character for reasons that had nothing to do with her interactions with potential love interests, whether they’re of her same or opposite sex: Azula has always been SO MUCH MORE than whatever we’ve headcanoned her sexuality to be, and this is something I hope everyone keeps in mind for this liveaction show.

We need to stick to our priorities, to a fault, as Azula’s fans: whatever sexuality or love interests she’s given, if she’s given either thing to begin with, her story isn’t exclusively about that. So, if Bryke decide to alter this aspect of her original characterization by dialing up Azula’s love life, it’s not the driving aspect of the character and it’s not the only thing we should be concerned with when it comes to her new portrayal in the future liveaction show, regardless of whether said sexuality agrees with our headcanons or disagrees with them.

Alright, then. After that particular clarification had been made... I’m of the opinion that Bryke have indeed pandered to shippers and fans in the past, namely in their sequel show and certain later announcements related to it, announcements that were basically the LOK version of “Dumbledore was gay all along but I thought it’d hurt the book sales and that’s why I only said so in a press conference after the final book was a bestseller and my bank accounts were overflowing” (by which I mean, the last-minute sudden “Aiwei (the dead guy) and Kya (Aang’s daughter) are also gay” comments Bryke made post-Book 4 to convince people they were aboslutely pro-LGBT and their world was very diverse despite said diversity only became known in the final scene of the show and was never portrayed positively or properly through these side-and-background characters...?).

So, would I say, categorically, that Bryke would NEVER write Azula as a gay character if they thought it’d make their show more popular? Nope, I can’t. I really don’t trust them enough to think they’ll prioritize top-of-the-line storytelling over pandering to the crowd that will cheer them on most loudly.

THAT BEING SAID...!

The story they told with Azula in ATLA, despite what certain people are convinced of, had a very straight-forward message, one that I didn’t like very much, especially since that message seemed to render irrelevant the character’s incredible storytelling potential and remarkable complexities. Where Azula could have been so many things, in the show’s finale she became some sort of flat, sad warning stating: “don’t try to control people through fear or they’ll turn against you and you’ll end up all alone.”

As much as I have no doubts Bryke will want to incorporate new themes and somewhat “update” ATLA into more progressive times, I really doubt they’ll sacrifice the story they’re apparently so proud of having told through Azula only to pander to a specific part of ATLA’s audience. For that matter, there’s been a growing movement promoting many same-sex ships and trans interpretations of virtually ALL ATLA characters, so if they were to pander to the fanbase through Azula, why her? And if they do pick her, why stop there? If they do stop there, then they’re not being inclusive enough with their fandom. Why satisfy one portion of the fandom and not satisfy the other ones too? :’D

Worse yet, accusations of foul play will absolutely be guaranteed to rise when a potentially gay Azula isn’t given a redemption (because, considering the latest Azula-related comments by the creators and comic writers, they’re not likely to do it this time either), because “irredemably evil lesbian trope, that’s so sexist and homophobic!” And with that, the long, glorious time ATLA has spent as the golden, poster child of western animation will suddenly be overrun with the very same hysterical purity police that has overtaken all newer fandoms and filled them with antis who attack creators, writers, actors and other fans for creating or supporting “toxic” content.

Point and case being... if they don’t stray from the story they already told, they have a slam dunk since a lot of people will love the show if it’s virtually the same as the one they watched when growing up. All they have to do is alter a few events, maybe expand on a few things, stall the story for a few more years so the actors can age realistically and not be overworked... and tadaaaah! You have a blockbuster! Change fundamental aspects of characters by adding new factors to pander to certain fan demographics? You’d basically be poking a wasp’s nest and hoping they will turn out to be honeybees instead, ESPECIALLY if the character being coded as LGBT is either evil or fated to die, as both those tropes are what seem to incense that side of fandoms more than anything else.

If they want to write Azula as openly gay, they’d have to alter her general character message and whole arc to avoid the guaranteed problems I’ve pointed out up here. Paired with this? They’d have to retcon their recently established “the Fire Nation became homophobic in Sozin’s time!” canon imposed by LOK’s comics, so, if they stick with this tidbit of recent LGBT info, a gay Azula would most likely have to be a highly repressed lesbian who can’t even accept herself? It’s not impossible to tell that story... but it kind of feels counterproductive, and absolutely discouraging too for people who are struggling to come to terms with their own sexuality to see themselves reflected in a repressed character who most likely will meet the same depressing end she does in ATLA.

Now, my final point: again, I can’t say it’s impossible that this might happen. But EVEN IF Bryke decide that this is how their new story will work, and the new Azula will be gay, and they change everything so it’s non-problematic and they successfully avoid being chased with pitchforks by the purity police...

A new characterization doesn’t negate the one from the original show in the least. The first ATLA is what it is, a finished product that can be judged and interpreted in a thousand ways, and has been, for the past 10+ years. A new canon does NOT overrule an old one, a thought that I’m sure the very same purity and nostalgia police I’ve mentioned will absolutely adhere to once the new story changes ANYTHING and they don’t like it. Whatever new possibilities they test out with a new story don’t have to be taken as facts that apply to every iteration of the characters. For reference, imagine judging every Marvel comics character for the actions and behavior of their MCU counterparts. Imagine people raging at Peter Quill in the comic books because he’s in love with Kitty Pryde and how DARES he cheat on Gamora with her?!

... Just how would that make any sense? :’) Likewise, it would make no sense to behave this way with ATLA and its future liveaction adaptation. What happens in the liveaction concerns the liveaction. What happened in the original show can serve as a guideline for the liveaction, if anything, a frame of reference, but they can (and will) change elements in the story as they please in the new adaptation. However similar as they might be, they’re TWO stories, and they should work perfectly well as standalone shows.

Let’s look at it from the opposite POV, to further illustrate my point: if the new show SOMEHOW made Sokkla canon, unlikely and damn near impossible as it is: that doesn’t make it canon in the original ATLA. Hence, if I were to run out in the streets screaming Sokkla is real and endgame in EVERY POSSIBLE VERSION OF ATLA, the entire world would have every right to throw rotten eggs at me and tell me to shut the fuck up because it’s not true, it’s only real in the liveaction, and that doesn’t have any bearing on the original show.

Same principle applies with a potential gay Azula :’) Even if it happens, it’s liveaction only. The original show remains what it is, and her characterization there can be interpreted and derived from as we see fit.

To close this answer, I confess that I, personally, have next to no interest in this liveaction remake. I can’t even say I’ll watch any of it. For one thing, I’m really annoyed by the trend there is these days to turn animation into liveaction, because it seriously feels like an underlying way to say that liveaction is somehow the superior choice for audiovisual storytelling and that really grinds my gears. Animation has been fascinating media for me for years, I’ve always felt it’s more versatile than liveaction, and if I ever happened to write something that gets an onscreen adaptation, I’d probably choose animation over liveaction even if I’m not given a choice on the matter :’) So, for starters, I’m not happy with the notion of a liveaction remake for this show. If they wanted to remake ATLA and had chosen to do so with animation, I’d definitely be much more interested. But this way? Uh... not my cup of tea.

So, whatever Bryke want to do with this new product is absolutely their business (same as it was their business with ATLA, frankly). People will criticize it, that’s a guaranteed thing, and people will love it, and people will be angry, and people will be happy. But I’m probably not going to be one of any of these people this time around. The only way I would likely enjoy that show would be if it’s a genuine, critical overhaul of everything they did in the original show, reworking many key aspects of MANY characters, no matter if the main anecdote remains intact. And considering how highly self-critical the recent ATLA-related content has been, I doubt I’ll get my wish. So... good luck to everyone who wants to watch this liveaction, have fun, I won’t spoil it for you by dumping on it this time as I did with the comics, but I certainly won’t be joining any of your parades much either :’D

#anon #the promised polemic subject of liveaction changes #honestly *shrug*#live and let die man #we have the original canon #and I'm way too busy with Gladiator to suffer much about what they'll do with the rest of Avatar #it's highly unlikely the new comics and show will feature anything I'll be dying to see #my optimism with this franchise is basically gone and I'm only here for my corner of the fandom #everything else is other people's business

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bustin-a-hazelnut · 5 years ago

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So basically @neopoliitan‘s last post has made me feel very strongly about the Amaranth family (the kids especially), so I now need my own post to sort out all the new information.

Let me begin by saying, I used to believe based off this post, that the Amaranth family only boasts five children; today’s comic proved me wrong. I went on to get some clarifications, and well...

Two times more kids - two times more fun, am I right?..

Needless to say, I did some further searching, and this post basically turned into my personal masterlist of Amaranth children. Those are mostly personal opinions and/or speculations, but again, my feelings in regards to them are strong & plentiful. Without further ado, naturally, the list opens with our beloved girl:

1. Akane Amaranth, 19

The oldest of the brood & really needs no introduction from me. A well-deserved favorite of Rain’s fanbase, among other things working on gradually rescuing her sister’s from their toxic household. As of late, her character arc has been (much to my joy) associated with William Lincoln’s, whom I assume will play a part in this encounter. The type of person he is, I wouldn’t put it past him to voice some unsavory truths to the face of Akane’s parents, with unpredictable consequences. With her own emotions & experiences in the mix, as well as the actual purpose of the visit, Akane’s got quite some development ahead of her. Not great for her - but a treat for us as viewers.

Her name in Japanese means “deep red, dye from the rubia plant”.

2. Miyako Amaranth, 18

Having been neither introduced nor mentioned in the actual comic, still a personal favorite Amaranth of mine. She’s gotten a great characterization from another Rain’s fan ( @infinitree ) here, which was approved by Neopoliitan. I don’t loose hope for her to make an appearance & shine somewhere in the future posts.

Even though she may not be too relevant for the plot right now, I see great potential for an inner, personal character arc with her. The idea for her character, from what I can tell, is that she’s always coped with her parents’ harshness & constant demands by becoming more withdrawn, apathetic, to the point of neglecting her own needs. Having gone so far down that path has damaged her in more subtle ways, than outright abuse - she’s basically traded it for neglect, and internalized it to the point of not caring enough to defend her needs & individuality, & eventually sorta loosing herself. This is actually rather dark, when you think about it, but I do believe there’s hope for Miyako. Her connection to her sisters, especially Ayano, whom she’s got a deep bond with, is a sliver of her identity that hasn’t been taken from her. It can also become the reason for her to find herself again & start caring more. She is in a strange place right now, and not in a good way, but I have faith in her.

Her name in Japanese means “beautiful” & “night”.

3. Nanako Amaranth, 17

Much like Akane, needs no introduction, having been a part of the plot for quite a while. Just as her elder sisters, this girl has all of my love, especially for her friendship with Tobin, even though the “wicked poo” line did play a part as well (which I Refuse to treat as anything other, than a reference to TTGOT S2 AU & Alanna Snow). It would be hard to guess by her upbeat personality, that she had to withstand more of her mother’s abuse, than possibly any of her siblings. This encounter is going to be a challenge for her, but I believe, that over the course of her life outside home, she’s gained the means to hold her own. She’s part of a team, a valued & great friend, a warrior, a huntressd & living proof, that neither what you’ve suffered, nor the people who’ve hurt you define you. She is going to overcome this, I have no doubt.

Her name in Japanese means "vegetables or greens".

4. Kasumi Amaranth, 16

A bit of a mystery at our hands, this one. No appearance or mention in the comic, no wiki page & the search through @neopoliitan came up dry. Her mention at Akane’s wiki page is the only indication of this girl’s very existence. There is little more to do than wait for further information on her, but as far as theories go - I wonder if she could exhibit a less positive personality, than her siblings? So far, all the Amaranth children we know of, that got somewhat characterized have exhibited different traits, yet, despite their home situation, I would describe all of them as well-meaning gals, even with their share of quirks & struggles. It’s not unreasonable to assume, that at least one of them would be affected more severely by their toxic parents - and have it shape them into a somewhat troubled person.

Her name in Japanese means “mist”.

5. Akiko Amaranth, 15

Her arrogant demeanor & the status of her father’s protege could lead to mistaking Akiko as someone who’s “sided with the abuser” in their family (a parallel to Whitley Schnee, someone who copes with abuse by submitting to his father). Another characterization post, however, suggests that she is actually far more than meets the eye. There’s this duality in her - outward brightness, determination & desire for leadership, wich is exactly what her parents expected; & hidden intent to use her future position for good, refusal to reject her sisters, who’ve been cast aside by her mother. This kind of characterization is an honest to god breath of fresh air - ambition & confidence, that is treated as a positive thing, not a sign of corruption. By Neo’s own words, she’s like a “good Whitley”, which is a fantastic character concept. I’m looking forward for anything she could have up her sleeve.

Her name in Japanese means “bright, sparkle” & “autumn”.

6. Sakura Amaranth, 14

Another kid we know virtually nothing about - and so far there isn’t much to theorize from. Sakura’s placed near her mother & appears relaxed, suggesting she isn’t in Yukiko’s bad graces. My two main guesses of why could that be are - either she’s just naturally inclined to obey & accept her parents’ way of seeing things; or she’s learned how to bypass them in her own ways. I find the second guess to be more interesting - while she can’t run away like Akane & Nanako, but can’t be up to her parent’s standards the way Akiko is or detach herself like Miyako, she could’ve developed a great ability to lie & manipulate, perhaps even in malicious ways, like shifting the blame onto her sisters in case of a screw up. I know this is really far-fetched, and I’m honestly just having fun coming up with those ideas at this point. One more option is her being a fave of Yukiko for some personal reason & therefore spared from mistreatment.

I also find it interesting, that other than Nanako, who is shown gradually dyeing her hair throughout the comic, Sakura is the only one not to share the natural Amaranth hair color so far. Who knows if it’s just a reference to her name’s meaning, or some symbolism, like her not sharing the family values deep inside, but not letting it show in her demeanor... Idek, I honestly meant for this to be shorter.

Her name in Japanese means “cherry blossom”.

7. Natsuki Amaranth, 12

She displays a strong, blunt personality from her first seconds on screen & strikes me as kind of a tomboy. I can’t imagine Yukiko being tolerant of such demeanor - and I can easily see Natsuki fighting back relentlessly against her reign. She probably took Nanako’s place as a punching bag not long after the latter left, and now her relationship with Akane parallels the one latter had with Nan. By the way Natsuki immediately gets to the subject of leaving, it’s clear how much this life affects her. It probably greatly exacerbates her naturally blunt personality - she’s got no time for affection or chatter, getting away is priority number one. I’m not sure how much of it is Natsuki’s “normal” character & how much - emotional damage from her parents, but at this point, it is hard not to assume the worst.

Her name in Japanse can mean “vegetables or greens” & “moon” or “summer” & “hope”. Interestingly, the name is considered unisex, though more commonly used by women.

8. Ayano Amaranth, 9

Getting close to the end here, and moving on to the actually small children of the fam, Ayano is a welcome change as an example of an Amaranth daughter, who’s actually getting to be a kid more (again, according to a previously established characterization). I particularly love the idea of her & Miyako being mutually close - it’s hard to tell which one of them needs it more. It’s also good to know, that Miyako’s efforts to shelter her haven’t been in vain & she actually seems to be okay around her mother, despite having a personality, that would naturally grate on her. Then again, kids can be rather perceptive, so maybe Ayano instinctively holds back her more unruly side in Yukiko’s presence & reserves poking & prodding for her sisters. She may know something isn’t right deep inside, and adjust her behavior, so as not to become another target for her mother.

Her name in Japanese means “of color; from love”.

9. Hana Amaranth, 6

Another mentioned-only character, with no face attached yet; at the age of six, I’d be glad to know that she is kept away from the family’s shenanigans & simply enjoys being a kid. Not much to theorize from here - will have to wait & see if she’ll make an appearance, and what her place in the family hierarchy is going to be.

Her very existence to me raises a question of why Yukiko would choose to have another child, when there is no need for a specifically male heir, as Akiko has been selected for that role. We get to know, that she has no actual love for her children - so what could drive her to have more? Family’s reputation, desire for more control, or perhaps Aka Amaranth comes into play at last? He’s been barely mentioned here due to my lack of knowledge about him, but judging by his appearance on the poster, he is about to play a big role in this arc. Gonna have to wait and see.

Her name in Japanese means “flower”.

10. Baby Amaranth, ~1

A literal baby, basically raising the same questions as Hana did a paragraph ago. I’m going to spare this one from my dark theories & let her chill for now, observing the reunion from a safe distance. Being a 10th child is no piece of cake even in most benevolent of families, so let’s all just give her a break for now. She’s still got all the time in the world to grow up & eventually develop her personal brand of the Amaranth Badassery.

#holy shit this took longer than planned #i’ll be passing out now #what am i even doing honestly #akane amaranth #miyako amaranth #nanako amaranth #kasumi amaranth #akiko amaranth #sakura amaranth #natsuki amaranth #ayano amaranth #hana amaranth #yukiko amaranth

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aradiiaa · 5 years ago

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Hey guys! Here’s an update regarding how I’ll be tagging spoilers for stuff, under the read-more since it’s a bit lengthy

So I ran a poll on Twitter and asked on Tumblr whether official promotional content like trailers, previews, and posters (i.e. new seasons or movies) should count as spoilers for the source material, and everybody who responded said no. So from now on, I will no longer be using spoiler tags for trailers, previews, and posters. I’ll still be tagging the source material, and using manga tags if applicable (i.e. mentions of manga content that isn’t in the trailer/preview/poster), but the promotional content itself and its depictions will no longer be tagged as spoilers. Only the actual new episodes/chapters/movies since that’s where the context comes from.

As for entire new episodes or chapters that are released at least weekly, I’ll lengthen the spoiler-tagging period from half a week to a full week. So if a new episode/chapter just came out for something I watch/read, I’ll keep spoiler-tagging the material for an entire week, which is usually until the next episode/chapter is out. Previously I only tagged it until the Wednesday after (for weekend releases), but I decided to lengthen that period of time as a courtesy to my followers. Previews for next episodes will be considered parts of the episodes they were attached to, so they’ll be spoiler-tagged too. When I mentioned previews in the previous paragraph, this was referring to previews of new movies or seasons that haven’t been released for a good while. Next-episode previews will be spoiler-tagged.

So keeping that in mind, any depictions (official or fan-made) of new characters that have been shown in the trailers, previews, and posters that promote season 4 of BNHA will not be tagged as spoilers now since that stuff has been out for weeks. Anything more than what is shown, such as names, identities, and relevant plot information, will be tagged as manga content. But just the appearances themselves as we’ve seen them in the trailers will no longer be considered spoilers. Once new episodes start rolling in next month, they’ll be spoiler-tagged for a week or until the next episode comes out (whichever is sooner) since that’s where we actually get all the context.

As for movies, I’m too broke to see them in theaters and I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen a movie less than a month after its public release, so there’s probably no need to worry about that. But just in case, I guess I’ll tag movie spoilers for a month.

Please let me know if you have any questions! I’m not good with words, so I understand if some of this stuff might be confusing. I’d be happy to provide clarification for specific questions. Thanks!

#post

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love-takes-work · 7 years ago

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Guide to the Crystal Gems Outline & Review

This is a review and discussion of the book Guide to the Crystal Gems!

This is a fantastic little tie-in, despite being dated as I post this in 2017. The book was released in October 2015, while Season 2 was still airing. Like its title promises, it's a guidebook; it's not a storybook and doesn't contain any adventures, it's just an outline of the characters, primarily told in the voice of the protagonist, Steven Universe himself.

Anyone who likes the television show will probably like this book; it's primarily information we already know from watching the show, but it's nice to have it all in one place, and there ARE bits of it that were essentially new information at the time or clarifications of things we haven't really heard spelled out before.

Of course, being that (like the show) it's from Steven's point of view, it's far from an omniscient tell-all. Steven only passes the reins to another character once--letting Garnet explain Fusions since she's basically the professor and poster child of all things Fusion--and other than that, it's all presented in a great approximation of the child character's voice.

Usually, the single perspective is one of the best things about both the show and this book: Steven is a realistic child character whose perspectives are colored by his youth, and it's just a wonderful thing to observe.

On the art:

I love how pink the book is. It's just aesthetically pleasing to me.

The backgrounds are very similar to what you see in the show: a lot of pastels and sparkly stripes with shines on them, and little decorations all over the place, like stars, Cookie Cats, and Crying Breakfast Friends stickers.

The little illustrations of the characters popping up and decorating pages are great. Some of them are new for the book, like a drawing of Rose Quartz in a car with the other three Gems in their outfits from when Greg first met them, being adorable in the car.

The characters each have different fonts to distinguish them, but they're all quite readable, which is very smart. Pearl's font is a thin, delicate font; Garnet's is blocky and bold; Amethyst's is stylish and casual and a little messy; Steven's is childlike and straightforward.

Their talk bubbles are also color-coded, with Pearl's being blue-green, Garnet's being red, Amethyst's being purple, and Steven's being pink. That way some of the talk bubbles belonging to offstage characters are easily attributed.

While some of the art is original and some is delivered through screencaps from the show presented as snapshots of specific moments, occasionally when the characters pop up and comment on the content, the Gems' outfits are inconsistent. Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst have all come back with a new design at least once each in the show, and even though they're supposed to be narrating from "now," sometimes their pre-regeneration outfit is what they're pictured in, or in rare cases it's some weird mixture, or there are little errors like Garnet having the gems on her hands switched. (The ruby gem is the square one and it's supposed to be on her left hand; the sapphire gem is the triangular one and it's supposed to be on her right hand. Sometimes it's pictured as the reverse.)

On the content:

The opening statement is really cute. Rebecca Sugar introduces Steven and says he wrote the guide, and suggests he knows how to talk to Gems and how to talk to humans because he's half of both, so he's the natural guide to teach YOU how to talk to Gems. It's just cute to imagine kids reading this book and imagining they might actually talk to a Gem one day.

The book begins with a section on the Crystal Gems. I like that it's specific about "Crystal Gems" being different from just "Gems," because I know some fans didn't have the difference figured out, at least at the time of this release.

The book doesn't explain it in detail, but according to some information from the show, "the Crystal System" seems to be the designation for Earth and its surrounding area of space, so named by the Gem homeworld. So it stands to reason that the Gems who live on Earth and defended it against Homeworld are "Crystal" Gems.

Each of the Gems Steven lives with seems to have her own simplified driving force in this book. Amethyst stresses the importance of enjoying freedom on Earth (because unlike the other Gems, she was made on Earth, not in space); Pearl constantly brings up devotion to Rose Quartz and her goals and mission (since Pearl was incredibly dedicated to Steven's mom and considered herself Rose's knight, not to mention she was and is straight-up in love with her); and Garnet is always bringing up love and relationships (which is interesting since in the show she speaks about that subject much more sparingly and rarely lets you know what she's thinking).

Even though a table of contents outlines a page for each of the Crystal Gems to be introduced, Steven introduces us to them with a cute personal ramble first.

He explains Amethyst first (with a cute "aw shucks" reaction from her at the end), discussing her origin in the Kindergarten and pointing out that she likes to eat, sleep, and collect junk--very much like him, even though Gems don't need to eat or sleep.

Garnet is the next to get the Steven spiel, and it's quite a nuanced description of her for a kid to offer--explaining her status as a Fusion and how she exists because two other Gems loved each other so much that they wanted to be one entity all the time. It's nice that he acknowledges all the reasons this makes her a good leader, and how he speculates that she might be so quiet because of several things that set her apart from the others--she might be in a private conversation with herself, or looking at visions of the future, or pondering leadership problems. He's an observant little tyke for noticing that stuff.

And of course his description of Pearl outlines her love for his mother and her loyalty to her, as well as how Pearl worries about everything and strives for perfection, inspiring him to be better at what he wants to do too.

The section wraps up with a little speech about how you, the reader, can also "be" a Crystal Gem if you believe in their doctrine of love and defending even those you don't understand. It's a pretty complex little manifesto there--a step beyond "hooray for love" that you see in so many kids' shows.

Before going into factsheet-type explanations of each character, they also point out that the group fights monster-like battle-damaged Gems and also Gems from the Homeworld, and Steven's really nice about it--how he's hoping to heal the damaged Gems and protect Earth from whatever Homeworld is trying to do.

Each factsheet for the characters includes the following checklist items: species, gem type, alignment, hair color, clothing, gem location, weapon, fun fact, and a quote.

Everyone included in the collection has a species of "Gem" except for Steven, who's "Human-Gem Hybrid," and Stevonnie, who's three-quarters human, one-quarter Gem. Steven's also got an extra category the others don't have: it specifies that his "gem type" is quartz but there's an extra category for "gem" which specifies his gem is rose quartz. Jasper and Amethyst are also both quartzes, and their specific jasper and amethyst gem types are not mentioned. This book was released before Peridot defected, so we hadn't heard anything about the Quartz class in the show yet. It was pretty exciting.

And where Pearl is a pearl and Peridot is a peridot, Garnet isn't explained as anything other than a Fusion type. Her component ruby and sapphire gems are not given "types," so we don't know what they call their class of gem yet, if it has a name in this universe.

"Alignment" refers to where their loyalties lie, so it's Crystal Gem vs. Homeworld Gem. "Gem location" just describes where their gems are on their bodies. They don't discuss eye color even though they do specify hair color. For each of his Gem guardians, Steven just mentions the color of their hair, but for himself, his mother, and Opal, he also mentions their hairstyle. (The color specifics ought to help some of those cosplayers out there! I've seen arguments about what color Pearl's hair is. Yes, it is pink. So is Steven's shirt. And Amethyst's hair is pale lavender, not white.) Pearl has obvious big blue eyes, but in most shots nearly all the other characters have featureless eyes rendered black in most lights, and you can't see details (like Garnet having three different-colored eyes) unless the shots are very close. Interesting that they don't give eye colors.

The "fun facts" are interesting bits about the characters that we may not have known, and the "quote" section is always something memorable they have said in the show.

There is a very interesting section about how Steven's birth is possible that might be of interest to people who are curious about that.

In the show, it's clear Gems aren't born the way humans are and they're made in the ground, and the bodies we see them using aren't "real" bodies (as in, they're not organic). So there's been plenty of speculation as to how a Gem could even have a baby, especially one that's somehow a hybrid. Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl explain more about how Rose Quartz made Steven with Greg Universe, which is cool because it's about the level of explanation you'd expect from a sex ed book for kids (and that's kind of what that page is, for them). So . . . read that bit if you're curious how shapeshifting aliens have babies with humans. (Weird.)

Also includes some stuff on Rose's motivation for making Steven. People who watch the show wonder about that a lot too. (And it's cute how Garnet makes analogies about fusion to explain Steven.)

Steven's section discussing his powers is a lot of fun, partly because he proudly states that he's really good at breathing and eating and sleeping because he's good at "human stuff." (And don't forget his musical talents!)

After discussing his other more obvious abilities, he mentions that he is able to perform fusion with his friend Connie and talks a little about what that's like. They haven't really covered what Steven thought of his fusion experience in the show, so that was neat.

Garnet's section points out something very interesting about Ruby and Sapphire's history on Homeworld in her fun fact. At that point we did not know fusion between different Gem types was taboo on Homeworld.

We get a little bit of Steven's perspective on Ruby and Sapphire, and he seems kind of unsure about it because he's spent so little time with them. He knows Garnet, but doesn't really know Ruby or Sapphire at this point. That seems appropriate since the only time he'd engaged with them was when they were in high-stress situations.

I like that Steven volunteers Garnet for your relationship advice, should you need help. That's adorable. Steven describes her as very literal and sometimes incapable of getting his jokes (or maybe he just thinks she doesn't get it because she doesn't laugh?), but he acknowledges that she does TELL jokes sometimes, and helps ground him with logic when he needs her to.

Amethyst's fun fact points out that she experiments with male forms through shapeshifting. Steven talks more about Amethyst's origin and her interests, and how she was too young for the Gem war that Garnet and Pearl fought in. The text implies that Steven feels close to her since she's from Earth and is also an alien with no authentic cultural understanding of her heritage.

He discusses Amethyst's tendency to play pranks and reassures the reader that she's not actually mean. It's cute that he understands she's kidding, and that he's okay with it that she messes with him all the time. He even comments on her dynamic with Pearl and shows a surprising understanding of why they disagree so often, and suggests that when Amethyst wrestled with Garnet that she could "almost" hold her own. Well. Almost is pretty impressive if you're fighting Garnet.

Pearl's section has an obvious fun fact: that she can make holographic images. When Steven talks about her, what comes up first is her dedication to Rose and the save-the-Earth mission. He speculates that Pearl knows more about his mom than anyone (including his dad). I would hope so--they've been together for thousands of years. I like that he doesn't seem to find this too confusing.

Steven emphasizes that Pearl REALLY doesn't get humans and might not be able to understand you if you talk to her, and his advice is to just talk to her anyway because he's sure she's totally interested and cares, even if she acts like she doesn't. That's so Steven. His highlights for her include her amazing fighting skills, her tendency to make others be polite and follow rules, and her need to be right. It's adorable.

Even though Steven doesn't know his mom, there is a section for Rose Quartz. It's funny that her "fun fact" is about her laugh, because her laugh is similar to Steven's. He isn't quite sure what to say about his mom except that he's told he's a lot like her and likes many of the same things. (Like shirts. Haha.)

Steven gives us some little-kid philosophy on what he thinks he is since half of him is a gemstone-based alien that doesn't exist anymore because he's using her Gem. It's a gentle but deep exploration of identity that's very appropriate for the character, for the audience, and for the type of story he's in. He also understands what his mom did for the planet, on some level, and says some very little-kid-like stuff about how he's glad their side won but he wishes they wouldn't fight. He'll be a good leader like his mom one day.

The section about the Homeworld Gems is brief, which is appropriate considering this is, after all, a Guide to the Crystal Gems. Each Homeworld Gem gets a single page, and the interesting bit is their weapons. People sometimes speculate about what the Homeworld Gems' weapons are (except Jasper, whose helmet we've seen). Lapis's weapon is just said to be water. Peridot's weapon is just said to be modern Gem technology. Neither is said to have a more specific weapon, while Jasper's page says she has a helmet AND uses a Gem destabilizer (but that's obviously not her natural weapon).

The Fusion section (narrated by Garnet) explains the nature of the Fusion relationship, including the interesting factoid that Fusions manifest partly as an expression of the fusers' effect on one another.

We already knew Fusions represent relationships and that they combine physical, magical, and personality aspects of the fusing Gems, but that bit had not been mentioned--though it makes a whole lot of sense and is really interesting to think about.

Opal gets a two-page spread about her abilities and nature, including the fact that she represents a peace that Amethyst and Pearl don't often feel on their own. And Garnet suggests that Sugilite's ridiculous show-off nature isn't just Amethyst's fault--that it's fun to celebrate as Sugilite and hard to give up, and Amethyst can't really hope to balance against Garnet in that kind of relationship.

Alexandrite's pages don't reveal what her actual weapon is (other than "all of them"), and Garnet basically apologizes for how they can't really get Alexandrite to behave in social situations. Malachite's page is a little scary (and it doesn't mention the location of her second gem). Garnet's obviously not a fan of their relationship based on how she describes it. Conversely, you can practically feel the love oozing off the page when she describes how much she loves Stevonnie. It's great.

Fusions who have appeared later in the series are notably absent; we don't get a page on Sardonyx or Rainbow Quartz, and I really would have liked to see them! Smoky Quartz was introduced far after the fact as well--no hope for including them in a book of this era. (It's especially interesting that they don't include Sardonyx, because they DO use Garnet's "Amethyst can be reckless, I can be brash" phrasing to discuss Sugilite that's lifted directly from the episode Sardonyx was introduced in.)

I don't know why they decided to leave those two Fusions out--unless they were worried the book would be released before those episodes aired and they didn't want to spoil the surprise--but I wish they'd chanced it, since the book feels incomplete with major Crystal Gem Fusions missing.

Other facts readers might appreciate include the approximate dates of the Gem War on Earth, specific rules about Fusions, and the actual text of Rose Quartz's manifesto.

Anyone who was expecting spoilers or truth bombs about Homeworld or sneak peeks might be disappointed by this, but I thought it was exactly what it claimed to be, and delivered in a really cute way that should appeal to everyone who loves the show. I recommend it to all fans, and I hope we get an updated one someday including an expanded Fusion section, missing info, sections on the Diamonds, and more adorable reflections from Steven now that he has matured!

[SU Book and Comic Reviews]

#steven universe #guide to the crystal gems #steven universe books #myblog

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inside-of-a-fangirls-mind · 8 years ago

Text

Sign My Poster?

Brief Summary: Coulson tries to hook up his close friend with Steve Rogers just so he can fanboy

Words: 2183

Warnings: fluff, lots and lots of cute fluff and Coulson being cute

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Female!Reader

You were a lower agent, mostly just doing paperwork for Fury, but you always did seem his favorite. He enjoyed you not sassing him back about what he did, but you would discuss with him what you would have done. You had to be the less sassiest person in SHIELD, and sometimes it wasn’t fun.Well while Steve Rogers, Captain America, was under your and Agent Coulson care, you both took turns looking after him. You both were pretty big fans, and well you developed a small crush on him. But you knew your chances of being with the Captain America didn’t exist.That was until Loki.

When Loki decided he wanted Earth, Coulson brought you in on the case against Fury wishes. Fury didn’t want to see you get hurt. Besides the Avengers needed someone strong like you to get them through it. Plus you were kinda like their caretaker, someone had to make sure everything was okay after all.Steve was standing in the control room just looking around as Coulson joined him, without saying a word at first. But soon they talked about his training cards, but slowly like every time the topic drifted to you.

“You know (Name) has really pretty eyes, like the way her (E/C) eyes sparkle is amazing,” Coulson said trying to drag Steve into the topic again.

“She does.” Steve couldn’t help the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He had started developing a major crush on you, but with 70 years on the ice, he didn’t think he would act on it. Besides he was way too old for you, and with all the other SHIELD agents clearly taking a liking to you. Well, he still saw himself as the little kid from Brooklyn when he saw you.

“And the way her hair frames her face, the way she smiles, she’s-” Coulson talked trying so hard to get Steve interested in you. He knew you two would be so cute together, plus then he could get everything signed. But really Coulson wanted you to find someone to be happy with, ever since you took this job he tried to make sure you were happy. He was like you father figure, and it always made everything easier.

“Beautiful, She’s truly beautiful.” Steve smiles warmly, looking down, a slight blush coming to his cheeks. He couldn’t believe he was really admitting it, but everyone knew you were beautiful. Even though you just thought you were average, clearly nothing compared to Natasha.

“Who’s beautiful?” You asked walking in the room only hearing the last part. You didn’t think for one second that they’d be talking about you. Why would they ever talk about you? Besides Coulson slight teasing about how Steve can’t take his eyes off you, you never really believed he would think of you as more than a friend.Steve’s face went beat red as he tried to find the words to say, but they escaped him. There was no way he had a chance with you. He was just a kid from Brooklyn. You were this strong, independent women won’t didn’t need someone who didn’t even know how to work a toaster. Coulson smirked seeing this and easily covered.

“The ship, she’s a thing of beauty right? Nothing else like her.” He shot a soft wink to you, unnoticed by Steve.

“Oh yeah, she’s pretty.” You chuckled softly, your eyes lingering on Steve’s face a little long than they should of. But you quickly glanced away when his eyes met yours. You had things to do, not involving fantasizing about Steve’s gorgeous blue eyes or his amazing personality.

You quickly walked over to agent hill, thankful your job didn’t require you to wear heels, especially on this ship. “Agent Hill, I have some papers you need to sign.” You two talked for a while though.

Coulson lightly elbowed Steve, “You should tell her. She’s single you know. I can tell you like her.” He smirks lightly, he wanted this to happen for both of you guys.

“Oh no, Coulson, she doesn’t fancy me. We barely even talk, plus I’m sure she’d rather have someone like Tony.” Steve spoke, in a whisper, so you wouldn’t hear them.

“Tony?” Coulson huffed, “She rather despises that man. But maybe she likes you, maybe she doesn’t. Just ask her out, it might get you in good with Fury.” Coulson knew Steve didn’t care about getting in good with Fury, but he really wanted you two together.

“Fine, but when she says no can you please tell her you made me do it? I don’t want it to be awkward.” Steve sighed, quickly leaving the control room. He had to figure out how in the world he was going to ask you.Coulson just smirked and stood there, when you came back up to him and sighed.

“Man this ship is huge, think Fury will let me ride around on a Segway?” you chuckled quietly to yourself, for a SHIELD agent you sure were lighthearted. Especially around Coulson, you two would talk for hours giggling like school children.A smirk just formed on Coulson’s lips before playfully nudging you.

“Maybe if you ask really REALLY nicely, Tony might build you a jet pack.” Your face scrunched up at the mention of Tony Stark, he was only cool when you two were alone. Other than that he acted like a jackass and a womanizer. Hell, you had told Pepper on him a few times just to watch him get into trouble. Everyone could see you two hated each other, yet alone you guys were pretty close. He even knew about your crush on Steve, well in your defense you only told him cause you were drunk. But that didn’t matter now you were subjected to every lasting teasing.

“I don’t think I would trust any of Tony’s inventions, he’d do something to it to embarrass me.” You chuckled quietly loudly, earning a glare from Agent Hill as you blushed. Coulson smirks devilishly before you light smacked his chest with the file.

“Hey don’t hit me, I’m getting you in good with Rogers.” He whispered watching your cheeks go bright red. You stared at him in disbelief before shaking your head quickly.

“Please leave that alone, he doesn’t like me alright? Tony is already having a field day with it.” You huffed slightly before you got paged. Before Coulson could say a word you walked away with a smile. Great, you were needed in the lab, what did Tony do this time.

Easily find your way to the lab you looking around a bit confused, Tony and Bruce were gone. That wasn’t normal, not at all. Why were you needed in the lab if no one was there? You walked over towards Tony’s desk looking for a clue when you saw a small sticky note with your name on it.

Picking it up you quickly read it out loud to yourself;

(Name), Meet me on the landing strip tonight. Don’t ask questions, I just need some clarification on a few things. Nothing bad, promise. Oh, don’t listen to Tony’s lies either.-Steve

You swallowed nervously, why did Steve want to talk to you up there alone? You shook your head, it was probably about this Loki situation and Steve didn’t want to be made fun of for not understanding something. Quickly you exited the lab before Tony or Bruce returned. Coulson had found you easily he always knew where you’d like to go to be alone. Including that small all windowed room on the backside of the ship.

“Hey, you.” He said leaning in the door away before walking over. You quickly explained the note, because honestly there was no hiding anything from him. He squealed with joy before quickly heading off to your room with him.“You have to get the right outfit!” He huffed and you just shook your head staring at him. You had never seen him this excited.

“You need something Steve will love!” Then it clicked in your head, the note, Steve blushing, Coulson’s weird behavior.

“You didn’t..” You whispered realizing he must have put Steve up to this. How could he do that to you?

“(Name) don’t be silly. Just get ready.” He hummed looking through your closet. He picked out a beautiful pale yellow sundress. “This will be perfect.”

“Coulson I hardly dress like that, Tony will have a field day..” You huffed but took the dress and went into the bathroom to change anyway. You always trusted Coulson and you hoped he knew what he was doing.Soon you were dressed and your hair was all dolled up, but you avoided makeup. It wasn’t like you and you didn’t wanna set Steve off. Coulson nearly dragged you up the stairs before pushing you out the door.

You huffed and smoothed out your dress with your hands nervously. That was until you saw Steve’s figure. Walking over slowly you see he’s dressed nicely as well, not in his normal plaid and jeans.Secretly you knew Coulson had something to do with this as well. “Hey, Steve. Uh- you wanted to see me?” The first thing you see is Steve’s brilliant blue eyes and that shy smile on his lips. His hand awkward hands shove a small flower in front of your face.

“This- this is for you.” He cleared his throat and smiled.

“Awh thanks, Steve, that’s sweet of you.” You hum softly, taking the flower and twirling it under your nose to smell it. There was a long awkward pause before Steve shifted, the soft meat clanking beneath his feet.

“You look really nice.” His voice is soft and you almost didn’t hear him. Glancing up at him, a soft blush comes to your cheeks.

“Thanks, Steve. You do as well.” You smile warmly, hoping to get rid of his awkwardness. But you understood why he was awkward. He’s been frozen 70 years and doesn’t know how to act around women (he possibly likes). He smiles back before nodding to himself.

“Yup.. ima do it.” He mumbles before you look up at him confused.

“What are you-"

you started before his soft lips cut you off. Your eyes went wide as you stumbled backward.He grabbed you before you could fall, his cheeks instantly going red. Thinking he read everything wrong,

"I’m so sorry. I- I’ll go.” Once you were stable on your feet again he let go and quickly walked back down into the ship.You stood there confused for a moment.

“Wait Steve likes me. Like likes me.” You mumble to yourself before running after him without a second thought.He was just about to pass by Tony’s lab when you caught up with him. “Steve wait please!” Your words make him stop and look at you shyly. Before you could even process it, you threw your arms around his neck, kissing him just as softly as he had kissed you. He was surprised but wrapped his arms around your waist.The kiss was sweet and innocent, no tongue, not very open either. But enough to make your heart skip a beat. When you two finally pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours softly.

“You have no clue how long I’ve wanted to do that.” You smile and open your mouth to respond as you hear slow clapping. You wince slightly looking over to see you two were standing in front of the lab’s glass doors.

“Well well well (Name), Steve, it’s and out time.” Tony chuckles before looking over to Bruce. “You owe me five.” You roll your eyes at Tony before looking back to a blushing, smiling Steve.

“Hey, you wanna get out of here or something?” You speak with charm and a grin.Steve looks confused for a moment before slowly realizing what you meant.

“Yes, I would like that very much.” He smiles and takes your hand heading off down the hall.

“What are we, Steve?” You whisper slightly, looking up at him. You knew he was old fashion and you hoped this meant you two were dating but you weren’t sure.

“Why (Name), we’re going steady. That was the point of kissing you, I couldn’t find any words.” He smiles sheepishly down at you before squeezing your hand lovingly.

“You can lose your words any time around me.” You giggle and watch him nod. Walking down the hall you hear footsteps behind you.Coulson’s hands on your shoulder and Steve’s.

“Now that I got you two happily together,” he turned to Steve holding out a pen and a Captain America poster.“Will you sign my poster?”

If you have any requests feel free to send them to me

#steve rogers x reader #reader insert #steve rogers x reader fluff #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers reader insert #avengers imagine #captain america #fluff #lots of fluff #steve rogers is cute #please read #i hope its good #i dunno #i am trash #imagines #requests

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megades-sweet-darkness-delight · 8 years ago

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ECLIPSA IS DISABLED!!!!!! (AND CUTE!!!!! ♠ ♿️💜😈💋♠❤) [EDITED FOR MORE READER ACCESSIBLITY]

I SENT AN ASK TO @breastforce A WEEK AGO, HOPING IT WOULD GAIN TRACTION WHILE I DIDN’T HAVE THE ENERGY TO POST MY WANTS AND NEED FOR (more) WHEELCHAIR USER REPRESENTATION IN THIS SHOW AND FANDOM AND HOW I REALIZED ECLIPSA WOULD BE THE PERFECT CANDIDATE FOR IT, I WAS ORIGINALLY GOING TO TAG @breastforce, @marcodiazisatransgirl and @starbutterflyisautistic in my post addressing it to help spread the idea and gain more traction,since I love their ideas and representation they’ve created for themselves within the fandom and this has nothing to to do with anything but like, after ‘Girls Day Out’ I just got really pissed, for all the love these random side characters get, that nobody in general was drawing or even talking about Toby, or how Star vs. The Forces of Evil was the first children’s cartoon in an entire decade to, not only have a wheelchair user in their storyline, but also be the only wheelchair user on a children’s cartoon in an entire decade have their wheelchair users storyline not revolve around educating abled bodied people. While also having that character be BLACK. #DisabilityTooWhite (even in cartoons)

And afterwords, everyone was just all: Oh. That Episode Was Cute. :) I Guess. :) Nothing to write home about tho. :) Just Cute Fun Filler Fluff! :3 No Big Deal. :))) JUST WISH SOMETHING BESIDES FILLER WOULD HAPPEN FOR ONCE NEFCY, LOL!!! XD

MEANWHILE, MY CRIPPLED ASS IS OVER HERE, REWATCHING ALL OF TOBY’S SCENES AND PRAISING MY FAERIE GODMOTHER HAHA TOM I KNOW YOU HATE PHYSICALLY DISABLED PEOPLE BUT I FOR ONE AM HAVING A MOMENT!!!! (also, can i just kinda.... give bonus for like, having a joke about parking spots but like, later making a point to show the person who actually needs it EXISTING??? Without having them be the butt of that joke because like... good writing???) So, after I’m done crying my happy tears about all this, I start thinking that the only thing that could make this even better is if the show featured another wheelchair user who was a girl... Cause aside from this bitch who’s name I had to look up from The Wild Thronberry’s, all the major wheelchair users have been boys. Then “Into The Wand” came out... and in my obsession with Eclipsa’s Tapestry I had an Epiphany ... THAT ECLIPSA IS THE ONLY QUEEN....

WHO’S SITTING DOWN.

AND THEN

I START THINKING ABOUT WHAT WE ALREADY HAVE. AND MY HEAD CANON MAY NOT BE A “THEORY” (bc in the case of wheelchair users we .... can’t exactly have coding the best we get is a cane your theories are still valid and needed and important an’ I wouldn’t have the courage to post this if it wasn’t for you I love you guys I’m so sorry .... ^ ^; <3 OX) BUT MY POINT IS

AFTER TOBY BEING IN A WHEELCHAIR IN CANON..... AND STAR BEING AUTISTIC IN FANON NOBY CAN TELL ME NO ... ;)

IF A WANTED MY #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESSS

#STARVSTHEFORCESOFABLEISM #ECLIPSAISDISABLED #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS #DRAWHERSITTINGDOWN

(The rest of this post will be put under a “READMORE” and been de- italicized, de-highlighted and de-bolded as above, for reader convenience)

AND PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DRAW HER FAT TOO SINCE EVERYONE AND THIER 9th GREAT GREAT GRANDMOTHER IS COMPARING HER TO CHERRY WHO IS OBVIOUSLY ECLIPSA’S 9th GREAT GRANDMOTHER

ALSO DRAW HER WITH HER LOVER WHO’S NAME IS GRIMALKIN AND THEY ARE NON-BINARY AND USE ZE/ZIR PRONOUNS BECAUSE SOMEBODY NEEDS TO CARE ABOUT MY BABIES FOR OTHER THAN HOW OR IF THEY FUCKED, WHO THEY’RE RELATED TO BECAUSE OF THAT, AND AND IF THEY’RE EVIL.

🎵 GONNA GET A LIL’ GRIM GONNA GET A LIL’ DARK, DONE LARKING ROUND’ HERE, FLEEING THE MEWMAN DIMENSION 🎵 See? You know you love #GrimDark, just like you love my #DisabledQueenOfDarkness head-canon and now you have a ship name to post content in so you can stop causally forgetting the big ugly monster when you draw her, and don’t worry about how the chair effects their relationship, it’s not like Ze wouldn’t need to kneel down to her to get on her level anyway, and in the words of Margo Diaz, the ship name itself is meant to be ironic humor on the shows nature, since I suppose people want Star Vs. to be more “GRIMDARK” I mean ...when I realized that short version of Grimalkin would be “GRIM” and Eclipsa is the (DISABLED)Queen of (DARK)NESS so it’s perfect, no? Move over S/T/A/R/C/O and moontoffee this couple deserved all the attention AGES is ago, and for those of you already comparing the dreaded(CO)Couple to this one since ‘Baby’ I made the the Monster Lover Non-Binary and use ze/zir pronouns, since Margo is Trans and “Grimalkin” is traditionally the name for an old female cat who is commonly a companion of witches. You’re welcome.

Also, I’ve decided that Grimalkin is a Cheshire Cat/My Neighbor (Totoro) based Ancient Species called Ches(SIRE) not really sure how to spell this right yet but u know how it’s supposed to to sound in ur head, right? ^^; That basically zir job is Guardian of The Spooky Forbidden Dark Forest Just Outside of Mewni TM and to protect other creatures and Monsters from the Mewmans and Demons who want to kill them; i.e, Zie hunt and kill the demon who want to kill the unicorn for their blood and demons are actually zir primary food source living in the forest and when you eat a demon you absorb their power (hence zir horns and size) and sometimes, more often than not, zie nurse the creature/monster who was being hunted back to health, should they be hurt (hence the SIRE part) cause like, Totoro, there’s a condition on if you can see them: If your heart is dark. So yeah, Grimalkin The Forest Guardian, feel free to recreate the Totoro poster now bc I just realized Umbrellas

Just make sure to draw Eclipsa in her wheelchair when you do!!!! ^ ^ <3 When I sent this ask to Red however, it was because, with all the bombs coming down after ‘Baby’ it was because I felt as though I was... well running out of time, so to speak ....

(CLOSE UP)

[CAPTIONED]:

How amazing foreshadowing would it be though after Toby and everything, if Eclipsa were actually a wheelchair user too and all the Past Queens of Mewni had different disabilities? And we had fan content to reflect that too like Autistic Star and Princess Margo? I'm making a post about it but like #DisabledQueenofDarkness & CpunkPastQueensofMewni should be a thing and after todays ep, I wanna get it goin' b4 Eclipsa is probs gonna get revealed to be abled bodied. Post for ppl to reblog?^ ^; ♥

So I asked @breastforce (Red) to post that specifically so that people (the viewer) [her followers] could do one simple thing

The ask has 42 notes not excluding my own like, so surely that means at least HALF those people must’ve REBLOGGED IT to spread the word, right?

Huh ... I see 38 apples with heart shaped holes

A cute baby narwhale in the ocean (who still couldn’t be bothered to reblog tho) @natiacollins <3

And only three people who actually care....

Why did I ask Red to post this ask again? Oh yeah...

And WHAT happened today? I HAVE TO DEAL WITH +5 POSTS THAT SHOW ECLIPSA STANDING UPRIGHT PARALYZED IN ICE AND NOT A PARASOL CANE TO STAND ON (she uses her Parasol/Wand for a cane/to push her chair sometimes, like Autistic Star sometimes bites her wand and uses it for other things, you’re welcome <3)

But LIKE

OH YEAH THAT’S FINE GUYS GIMME A BUNCH OF APPLES WITH HOLES IN THEM AND THEN RUB IT IN MY FACE CRUMBLE MY CRIPPLE PUNK PAST QUEEN OF MEWNI HEART I’M OKAY WITH THE EVENTS THAT ARE UNFOLDING CURRENTLY ....

HER LEGS ARE STILL SCISSORING THAT MEANS I STILL HAVE A CHANCE!!!!!

OR AT LEAST I STILL GOT A........

....GIMP GOAT .......

OKAY NOT TO OFFEND ANYBODY BUT THIS IS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW....

RIVER IS ME, MY CRIPPLED HANDS REACHING FOR CRUMBS WHILE EVERYONE ELSE GET’S TO ENJOY THEIR RICH REPRESENTATION COATED TREATS BECAUSE THIS CUTE COOKIE CAT I PICKED OUT FOR MYSELF.....

MIGHT JUST TURN OUT TO BE AN ABLED-BODIED ICE POP!

YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M BACK TO BEING A BABY AGAIN BECAUSE THE GOATS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. AND IF PEOPLE CAN’T ADAPT THEMSELVES TO DRAWING “ABLE-BODIED” CHARACTERS IN WHEELCHAIRS LET ALONE MAKE ORIGINAL ONES TO BEGIN WITH, THAT’S NOT OUR PROBLEM.

IS IT, TOBY?

BUT THE GOAT IS GOOD FOR MY NEXT POINT.

SO FAR IN THIS FANON/FANDOM WE HAVE FOUR AUTISTIC CHARACTERS (STAR AND JANNA AND INGRID AND STARFAN13), TWO TRANS CHARACTER (MARGO AND STARFAN13), A CHARACTER WHO’S AN ACTUAL WHEELCHAIR USER IN CANON (TOBY), AND AS OF TODAY, A GAY DISABLED MONSTER CHARACTER WHO IS CODDLED AND DOESN’T WANT TO BE “TAKEN CARE OF” BY THEIR PRIMARY CARE GIVER S/O ANY LONGER AND IS ABUSED BY THEM BECAUSE OF THAT

WHEN THEY TRY TO BE INDEPENDENT

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR ECLIPSA /NOT/ TO BE A WHEELCHAIR USER AND FOR HER LOVER TO /NOT/ BE NON-BINARY. THIS FANDOM HAS THE MOST DIVERSE FREAKING NICHES I’VE EVER SEEN!!!! HECKAPOO! THERE’S NO REASON FOR STAR BUTTERFLY NOT TO BE IN A WHEELCHAIR /AND/ BE AUTISTIC!!!! “Star On Wheels” Hello?! Back when that episode first came out, I remember someone made this disgusting ablest comment about Star “becoming a Paraplegic lolXD” so please draw her in a wheelchair just to spite them!!!! OX <3

And also like .... we have all these old cartoon Grannies in wheelchairs. PLEASE LET ECLIPSA BE THE YOUNGEST ONE!!!! PLEASE LET HER AND THE MONSTER STEAL TOBY’S CHAIR FOR HER TO GET ROUND WHEN SHIT GOES DOWN AND LATER SHE FEELS BAD ABOUT IT CAUSE THEY SCARED THE LIL’ GUY GOOD SO THEY DECIDE TO “ADOPT” HIM AND SING THIS TO HIM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gN-Jl1kFpX0

FUCK TOM AND TOFFEE LET /TOBY/ BE ECLIPSA’S SON?????? AND IT WOULD BE EXACTLY LIKE THAT ONLY NO ONES TRYING TO KILL HIM GRIMALKIN’S JUST CONFUSED AND HE’S TRYING TO GET THE CHAIR FOR ECLIPSA AND IT’S CUTER <3

ALSO GRIMALKIN REFERS TO STAR’S PARENTS AS “BULLY AND MOODY” JUST FOR CLARIFICATION YOU KNOW WHY BUT I’M OBVIOUSLY THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES THESE CHARACTERS THIS MUCH BC AS FAR AS I KNOW I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS ABOUT THEM (EQUALLY) AS CHARACTERS AND I’M NOT USING THEM AS A PROP FOR MOONTOFFEE OR THINKING ABOUT WHO CAME OUT OF THEM WHEN THEY FUCKED <3

BUT YES, LET ECLIPSA BE DISABLED!!!!! DRAW HER AS A WOMEN IN A WHEELCHAIR!!!!! BECAUSE APPARENTLY DESPITE THE CRIPPLING LACK OF REBLOGS ON THAT ASK... ;) THEY’RE ARE PEOPLE WHO STILL FIND MY NEED FOR REPRESENTATION INTERESTING!!!!!!

SO THAT’S WHY I’M MAKING THIS POST!!!! TO PUT IT OUT THERE WHERE IT WASN’T ORIGINALLY AND START THE TAG. DO IT WITH ME!!!!! #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS #ECLIPSAISDISABLED #STARVSTHEFORCESOFABLEISM

AND REBLOG THIS POST!!!! I DON’T WANT YOU TO “LIKE” IT JUST REBLOG IT!!!!!!

IF YOU WANNA MAKE IT UP TO ME YOU CAN START REBLOGGING MY ORIGINAL ASK HERE: http://breastforce.tumblr.com/post/156994186895/how-amazing-foreshadowing-would-it-be-though-after BUT FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND GOOD HEAD CANONS PLEASE REBLOG THIS ONE AND HELP GET THE WORD OUT!!!!! SIGNAL BOOST THIS!!!!! NOT ONLY FOR ME BUT FOR OTHER PHYSICALLY DISABLED PEOPLE WHO LOVE STAR VS. TO SEE IT!!!!!! IT’S SUCH A GOOD HEAD CANON AND HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL AND IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME THAT #ECLIPSAISDISABLED AND I HAVE MY #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS AND THAT ALL THE PAST QUEENS OF MEWNI HAVE DIFFERENT DISABILITIES AND I MIGHT ACTUALLY GET TO CONNECT WITH DIFFERENT DISABLED PEOPLE IN ONE OF MY FANDOMS FOR ONCE. I’M GONNA DO A POST WITH ALL THE PAST QUEENS DISABILITIES SOONY BUT I WANTED TO GET THE #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS AND #ECLIPSAISDISABLED AND #STARVSTHEFORCESOFABLEISM TAGS TRENDING TOO AND WHO KNOWS IF I’LL STILL HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO THAT TOMORROW....

IT’S NOT CRIMINAL TO BE AN INDIVIDUAL, BUT IT’S ALSO NOT CRIMINAL TO BE A CRIPPLE OR #DISABLEDANDINTODARKNESS OR A #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS ETHER AND WE NEED OUR REPRESENTATION TOO. ;)

IF YOU REBLOG THIS I’LL LOVE YOU FOREVER. IF YOU’RE ONLY GONNA ‘LIKE’ IT YOU CAN

GET. OUT!!!!!!!!!

AND YOU BETTER REBLOG THIS BECAUSE I WAS UP UNTIL 5:00AM THE OTHER DAY TRYING TO FINISH THIS BECAUSE I FORGOT FRIDAY’S WERE OFF DAYS. NOT GOOD FOR MY SCOLIOSIS. NOT GOOD FOR MY LEGS. PAIN EVERYWHERE. ALL TO EDUCATE YOU. AND I HAD TO CANCEL MY PHYSICAL THERAPY THAT DAY.

THIS MONDAY I GET MY HAND SPLINT AND BRACES PUT ON SO I DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE UNCOMFORTABLE TYPING WILL BE AFTER THAT. THIS MAY BE MY LAST POST FOR A WHILE AND IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME. ALSO, WHILE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT ORTHOTICS, WHEELCHAIR USERS, AND DISABILITY; ABLED-BODIED PRIVILEGE IS GROWING UP WHEN THE ONLY REPRESENTATION FOR CHILDREN WITH “BRACES” WERE THE ONES PINCHING TEENAGERS MOUTHS, ESPECIALLY IF THERE WAS A WHOLE GODDAMN SHOW ABOUT IT

WHILE YOU WERE SITTING THERE WONDERING WHY YOU AND YOUR BRACED UP, PINCHED UP, BRUISED UP LEGS GOT NOTHING.....

So before I publish this, I just wanna add in the few things I forgot do to tiredness.

ECLIPSA IS STILL TOTALLY GOING TO NEED HER CHAIR ONCE SHE GETS UN-CRYSTALIZED. THE WHOLE ENTIRE REASON SHE’S LIKE THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE IS BECAUSE THE TIME OUT GUY, BEING THE JUDGEMENTAL PRICK THAT HE IS, THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS “EVIL” NOT BECAUSE SHE’S THE QUEEN OF DARKNESS, BUT BECAUSE FROM HIS POINT OF VIEW, SHE WAS “FAKING HER DISABILITY” BECAUSE HE SAW HER GET UP ON HER OWN FOR 5 SECONDS AND TOOK THAT AS AN INSULT TO LEKMET, FREEZING HER ONLY TO AVENGE THE GOATS HONOR. NATURALLY, HER LOVER TURNED SIGNIFICANT OTHER WASN’T TOO HAPPY ABOUT THIS AND CAUGHT ON TO WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED PRETTY QUICK, SO TIME OUT GUY AND LEKMET USED HER TITLE AND ALL THIER “PAST CRIMES” AS A SCAPEGOAT TO KEEP HER THERE, RATHER THAN UN-FREEZE HER AND FACE THE MUSIC.

AND AGAIN, I’M NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYBODY BECAUSE I KNOW SHE’S PEOPLES DAUGHTER AND TOBY IS MY SON TOO BUT LIKE, IF STAR VS. WERE ONE OF THOSE CARTOONS THAT TRIED TO DO EPISODES ON HOW PEOPLE IN WHEELCHAIRS ARE “JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE” (THANK GOD THEY’RE NOT .... AT LEAST NOT /YET/) MARGO DIAZ WOULD TOTALLY BE THAT ONE OVER PROTECTIVE ASSHOLE WHO TALKS IN A WEIRD BABY VOICE AND SAYS THINGS LIKE “MAYBE YOU SHOULD SIT THIS ONE OUT....” AND “IT’S FOR YOUR OWN SAFTY...” AND STAR WOULD (PROBABLY) BE THE ONE TELLING HER TO CHILL AND ACTUALLY TREATING THE WHEELCHAIR USER LIKE A PERSON ...

LIKE WHEN ECLIPSA GET’S UN-CRYSTALIZED, SHE IMMEDIATELY FALLS TO THE GROUND LIKE “IT’S OKAY! KITTY CAT OFFENSE GOT ME COVERED!” AND THEN MARGO’S LIKE “AAAH! STAR! YOUR GRANDMA’S FALLEN AND SHE CAN’T GET UP!”

“BUT SHE LANDED ON HER PAL-”

“SOMEBODY CALL ALIVE ALERT!!!!”

“OH, DON’T WORRY PRECIOUS, I ALREADY HAVE SOMEONE WHO’S ON ALERT FOR /MY LIFE/” *PRESSES THE LIL, CRESCENT MOON PENDANT ON HER CREST AND IT STARTS GLOWING* NEXT THING YOU KNOW SHE’S ROLLED OVER ON THE FLOOR....

“OH NO! SHE’S ....! IS SHE HAVING A COUGHING FIT OR A HEART ATTACK? I CAN’T TELL.”

“IT SOUNDS MORE LIKE A GIGGLE FIT OF OMINOUS SHUOJO LAUGHTER... BUT FOR WHAT I DON’T-- AWHNO!!!”

“AWH WHA-?” *STAR GRAPS AT HER HOODIE* “MARGO! WE NEED TO GET HER OUTTA’ HERE! SHE CAN’T WALK OR USE MAGIC, AND ALL MY SPELLS ARE AFRAID OF HER! YOU NEED TO GET YOUR DAD!” AND MARGO GET’S OUT HER DS LIKE “OKAY!” AND ONCE SHE’S OUT OF EARSHOT, ECLIPSA SAYS TO STAR IN HER PERFECT COCKNEY ACCENT LIKE “AWWHH, WOTS’A MATTA’, CAKEPOP?! YOU DON’ WONNA STAY’ ER’ AN’ WAIT WIT’ GRANNY TA’ MEET YER’ POPPOP?!

AND STAR’S ALL ANNOYED AN’ GRUMBLY LIKE “/STEP!/ POPPOP! Myevilstep-poppop...”

And that’s when Eclipsa gets 100% serious and her tone get’s kinda sad and soft like “ So because ze stepped in and zir part demon, zir just evil and an accessory for ‘Bad Girls’? Like those Scissors?”

And Star’s like “HOW DID YOU-” but then Margo comes back with her mom and dad following and Rafael scoops Eclipsa off the floor and she’s like “Ooooo, Angie! Your husband is so strong ... Wait’ll you meet mine!” And Angie’s like “HAHA THANKS!” *whispers to Margo* “Howdoessheknowournames?”

Rafs all insecure like “Whoisherhusband?”

“IdontknowMomandDad...I.Dont.Know......”

Then later, they have her settled on the couch with a warm blanket and a hot cup of tea, Margo realizes Eclipsa has a permeant disability but still doesn’t trust her (thinking she’s faking, putting on some cliche act) so she just drops the bomb of “LOOK .... I know you’re a Granny and all, but ....aren’t you a bit too YOUNG to be disabled?”

And without missing a beat, right in front of her parents, Eclipsa just grins and goes “Aren’t you a bit too young to have lived 30 years of your life in an alternate dimension and have the mark of Heckapoo, JENNIFER RINK? ;3 ” and goes right back to sipping her tea.

“....30 /WHAT/?!”

“....... Mark of /WHO/???!!!”

“OH!” *ECLIPSA PUTS DOWN HER TEA USING HER SPOON LIKE A WAND IN THE AIR* “IT’S ‘HECK-A-POO’. HECKAPOO!”

*Raf gets sidetracked seeing her do a lil’ magic with her tea spoon when her eyes start to glow* “I’m sorry if this is invasive to ask, Mrs. Eclipsa, but ... Can you shoot lasers out of your eyes like these puppies?”

Margo’s still horrified. “STAR. HOW DOES SHE KNOW THESE THINGS????!!!??”

Star’s just like “ CAUSE GRANDMA’S KNOW, JENNIFER! Grandma’s know!!!”

Eclipsa’s like “That’s my girl.”

“But Queen Eclips- ...GRANNY! You never answered Mr. Diaz’s question!”

*sips tea* “The answer is that I most certainly can, Star.”

“AAAWH YIIII-”

*takes another sip of tea before adding* “But I only use my laser powers in the most EXTREME of emergencies.”

“Awwh.”

*Finally finishes tea and there’s a flash of light and Eclipsa appears to be gone before Star feels something warm and fuzzy curled up on her lap * “Unless ... Anyone would like to see what I look like as a laser kitty? :3″

“AAAAAAAAAWWHH!!!!”

CONCEPT: THE “TIE” AROUND ECLIPSA’S WASTE IS ACTUALLY A FASHIONABLE BACK BRACE MADE TO LOOK LIKE A PART OF HER DRESS. IT HELPS HER STAND UP BETTER.

And I WILL make a post for all the Past Queens disabilities, it’s just I came up with a cute little pun for mine and I don’t feel comfortable making Mewni style puns for other peoples disabilities... ^ ^; So when I make that post the disabilities will just be listed as they are on Earth and #STARVSTHEFORCESOFABLEISM seems like a better catch all, since the term “CPunk” was coined by somebody else and means a very specific thing... ^ ^;

But Eclipsa’s disability is called “Celestial Purrsy” (a play on my own disability, Cerebral Palsy) and it basically means she has all the advantages/disadvantages of a cat ... ^ ^; It’s taken as a birth defect by the Mewmans because she looks like she has DNA from different dimension? ^ ^; Like this is gonna sound kinda morbid and dark but they suspect she’s a “changeling” and that the alternative version OF Eclipsa (like the one of Star we see in “MathMagic”)

Somehow replaced/possessed the “REAL” one at birth because she was born with her little kitty eyes/mouth

and paws

Which she’s been made to cover up since birth in order to look more like a “normal” mewman , like think of the old wives tale of cats stealing babies breath and the dreaded dimension of Star vs. where cats have human faces, on Mewni there’s basically this old wive tale of “Mewmans who have cat faces” and if they’re born that way it’s Bad Luck because they’re “The Cat Who Snatched The Mewmans Body” and that’s what they think happened to Eclipsa. That’s why they call her “Eclipsa” because they think “a dark shadow was cast over their baby” A “Fairy Godmothers curse” (The character of ‘Baby’ is actually described as “Star’s Fairy Godmother”in wikipedia summary. So maybe they think Eclipsa’s cursed with a cat face because the Fairy burped on her or or something AND THAT’S WHY THEY HATE HER SO MUCH OH MY GOSH. GET IT? AN OLD WIVES ABOUT BABIES BREATH? A FAIRY GODMOTHER CAT NAMED ‘BABY’? OH MY GOSH. They blame things like Eclipsa’s size and her love of food on Baby too, but that’s just another part of the stigma Eclipsa faces because her parents are arseholes.

Eclipsa even went through Mewberty “wrong” because her Mewberty from actually looks a lot like Baby ... And other Mewmans are like “Eeew, what are you? you silly Cat/Bug/Moth thing we’re supposed to be strictly INSECT BASED!!!!”

And instead of “BOYS” all she wanted to do was play with balls of yarn ... She hoarded all the yarn, and then she actually CREATED the “Worlds Most Dangerous Creature” we see in ‘Inter-Dimensional Field Trip’ WITH THE YARN...

For what purpose though, her parents were concerned...

She was basically treated as more of a prized house pet than a mewman, a Familiar meant to serve rather than the Queen she was met to be, and, like Star, she didn’t know basic magic ... As Queen of Mewni, she was a Familiar/Figure head, an “inspiration” to the kingdom more than anything and her husband at the time, a boarder-line powerless Mewman who never left his mewberty form by choice, King Lunar (LOO-NAR) used her for her magic, she was barely allowed to use her wand and the parasol was always opened up and propped on her wheelchair behind her where she couldn’t reach it in order to “shield her from the elements”, as Lunar put it.

They married because he took her out to The Bloodmoon Ball on a pity date, dancing was required according to their parents, and their souls “accidentally” bonded. Just as they intended.

SO you all know cerebral palsy is a muscle thing, right? Well with Eclipsa, her “Celestial Purrsy” is A BIT more exaggerated like someone (Glossaryck) will sneak up on her and she’ll have a muscle spasm, even if she’s prepared for it, but if she’s not wearing her seat belt, she’ll do that kitty thing where she’ll end up clinging to the ceiling, cat noises and everything, and she has those weird ticks that I have where she’ll get a twitch through her body like ....

It’s less pleasant than Jiji’s in the context of that gif, but t that’s the only way I know how to to describe it ... And then Glossaryck tries to get her to relax and “dip down” to try to get her off the ceiling but she just ... can’t do it... not because she’s afraid (it’s just an INVOLUNTARY REFLEX, EVERYONE CALLS HER A “SCAREDY CAT” OR APOLOGIZES AND NOBODY GETS IT...) but because her purrsy effected muscles are so tense and she can’t unclench them cause ...her body is afraid it’ll hurt? ^ ^; So Glossaryck will have to call Lunar to help get her down and he’s part moth, so he’ll like make a big show of like, crawling up the ceiling to get her and he’ll do it extra slow just to freak her out more because he knows that she hates it when she touches her but she can’t show it cause he’s her care giver and her husband and she feels guilty for doubting his love and daring to think he makes her uncomfortable on purpose... yeah marriage problems ... ^ ^; Sorry for creepy imagery ... ^ ^;

Glossaryck tries to talk to Lunar about it and suggests that MAYBE she’ll be more comfortable around him if he actually lets her USE HER WAND... since she hasn’t touched it since she was a teenager and WHO KNOWS HOW HER PERSONALITY HAS CHANGED SINCE THEN ... So Lunar’s like “FINE!!! HERE ECLIPSA!” (he can hand here the wand without effect on him since he doesn’t actually have hands to hold it with... he has feelers and mewberty goop... so everything just kinda... latches on to him all sticky ..... yeah, sorry for nightmare fuel again) Aaaaaaanndd we get our first glimpse of our Queen of Darkness then, wardrobe change and everything (the thorn crown doesn’t come in until she spends more time with Grimalkin and more specifically, when she’s evaluated by Baby and grows her apple tree later, when she’s been living with her Lover, they ask the Fairy Godmother to marry them right there), everyone is surprised by the transformation expect for Glossaryck, who’s like “Somebody’s been suppressing a lot of ANGER ....” *Looks over at Lunar* “Wonder what could be the cause* And then Lunar looks over at Eclipsa who looks about ready to KILL HIM an’ he snatches the wand away as quickly as she had it via his gross Mewberty goop and he’s like “SEE?! All that power is far too dangerous for someone so small look at what just happened! You just turned yourself into a monster when your supposed to be my sweet little muffin!”

Now we get to Toffee’s relation to Eclipsa.... after the whole wand thing happened he was actually (supposed to be) her aid. Cause King Lunar become paranoid of his wife becoming “out of control” and needed someone to “control” her when he wasn’t there because “ (ableism) I’m too busy to be scrapping you off the ceiling every time you have one of your episodes!!!! (ableism)” So .... he tries some of the Mewman staff at first ... But they’re all ether too condescending or just plain afraid of her and don’t even wanna touch her ... and Eclipsa knows this and plays it up to her advantage... So Lunar finally get’s this idea ... And he picks who he deems the most “intelligent” in the ... lizard prison... tells them that they’re going to “Keep an eye on the Queen”, takes them to Eclipsa’s room and Lunar’s like “Okay LIZARD I’m gonna show you what you’re working with here” And it’s just Eclipsa, alone, by herself, eating this big bowl of candy with her gloves off and pawing at the wrappers...

And the lizards like “She looks SLIGHTLY less bored than I am...”

“She’s hysterical ...”

*mumbles* “ComingfromLunarTheLoon....”

“What was that, REPTILE...?”

“Nothing...! Yourbugeyedbenevolence...”

“If you’re so keen on insulting someone today, just make sure you speak to HER in the slowest, weirdest voice possible!”

“....OKIEDOKIEHOPEYOUCHOKIE!!!”

Then the door slams and it’s perpetual “SURPRISE!!!!” voice until Eclipsa goes “Oi Lizzie! You like some tea from all that Buff- frog in ya throat?!”

And then Liz drops the act like “Oh, I don’t eat garbage...”

“Well, had me confused, you are what you eat...”

“And you’re hysterical...”

“Mm. So I’ve heard. But I’m sure the Buff-frogs don’t like hearing their fellow monsters think they’re ‘garbage’. That’s not a very nice thing to say about someone, is it? Even if it is used as an excuse not to eat them.”

“I suppose that’s true... Are you going to strike me now?”

“Why would I strike the hand that feeds me?”

“On days like this, I can think of many reasons, especially if you’re hungry.”

*She edges the bowl of candy over to him* “Please. :3″

“...Thank you....” *Being the ... picky eater that he is, (or making certain it’s not poison) she notices him carefully searching for his favorite candy and laughs when he gathers a handful of it*

“There you go!”

*Mouth already full of Saltwater Toffee* “Whut ...?!”

”I think your name is Toffee! What would you say about that?”

*he looks guilty for all the candy pieces he’s holding in his hands* I’d say that it would suit me, Queen Eclipsa, Thank you!”

“Your very welcome, Toffee! Also, that reminds me, we need to buy you a suit, it’ll look more official when you help me boot out my bugger of a husband! *ironic ship teasing/future ex girlfriend reference bc she later falls for someone who wears no suits at all, CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT*

Toffee can’t help but find this amusing and smilies “You want me to... AIDE you in starting a rebellion against your husband?”

*Eclipsa borrows a piece of his toffee, pops it in her mouth, and grins* “Now look who’s hysterical...”

The very next day, Toffee returns to Eclipsa all beaten and bloodied up. His tail is missing and , he’s pretty much dying. Eclipsa is freaking out...realizing her wand is gone too, doesn’t know what’s going on but has a pretty good inkling of who’s behind it. Next thing you know Lunar comes in all like “Hm. That’s two things that don’t belong to me now, or is it three? You’ll never get your kingdom back.”

And Eclipsa is tears “I don’t care about the kingdom! What did you do to to Toffee?!”

And Lunar throws the tail and the and the wand back to their rightful owners and says “What I could never do to my bugger of a bride!” before slamming the door on them again.

The second he leaves, Eclipsa drops herself out of her chair unto to the floor, crawls over to Toffee, asks him to tell her what she can do to to help him, and he tells her weakly that he’s heard of an ancient being in the dark forest who supposed to heal monsters, Eclipsa’s like “Alright, we’ll go there. Right now.” Takes off her hat and props it under his head, then goes over to her bed to get some pillows, where her book is laying.

Glossaryck pops out and is like “What are you doing?”

“You heard what just went on.”

“You’re going to The Dark Forest to seek Grimalkin.”

“ Gesundheit.”

“No no. Grimalkin is the name of the HEALER. Trust me, if I sneezed, you’d know it.”

“Get away.”

“Eclipsa, I’m you’re teacher and YOU NEED ME.”

“No I don’t.”

“Fine. Be that as it may, I will accompany you on your journey.”

“Why?”

“SATISFACTION BROUGHT IT BACK!”

“...Whatever. Help me pad my chair with these pillows while I lift Toffee up, and hurry.”

“...Maybe if you cast ‘LEVITATO’-”

“I KNOW!!!!”

Toffee protests to taking Eclipsa’s chair but Eclipsa says that right now, he needs it more than she does. “Besides, I have my Gait Trainer, silly Gator!” They secure some rope they got from Eclipsa’s curtains to the chair and Toffee’s under the impression that Eclipsa’s going to tie the other end around her waist and pull him herself, so he objects to that too. He earns some perfect shoujo laughter and a “Don’t be ridiculous, Toffee!” Before giving a sharp whistle and a small usher of rats scurry out from under the bed “I mean, I would if I had to, but there’s no need. Follow Mummy babies!” and just like that they grab a hold of Toffee’s rope and follow her out every door, with to rats stationed in front of her to help open them.

One of the servants asks if they should do something, watching her head towards the dark forest from the window, to which Lunar responds “Nah, curiosity killed the cat.” And the rest is history. Basically because Toffee made her PROMISE to come back and visit him every day because he heard what Lunar had said to her before and was afraid for her at that point. Which Grimalkin allows because he BEGS xem and the Guardian sees how this monster cares for HER. Plus she looks too exhausted to do any real harm at the moment.

Eclipsa promises Toffee that she’ll come back, and she’ll start working on her spells for self defense.

When Eclipsa asks Grimalkin tells her that Toffee’s tail can’t be re-attached, and it could take a while for the other lizard monsters who to live there to teach him how to regenerate, maybe even generations but zie CAN preserve his life. Maybe even raise a new life from the old tail.

When she hears this, and she’s letting it sink in that Toffee almost died, Eclipsa considers making up an immortality spell so she’ll never have to worry about the scare of losing him ever again. Then Eclipsa tells the guardian about the prison and zie promise to see what can be done. Also this happen at some point, after they’re at least on a more friendly/flirty basis ...

“You’re a healer, right?”

“You know what I am.”

”Yeah, well...How come other people don’t know I can’t be cured?”

“Dunno.”

“I mean I know I KNOW...and YOU KNOW, so how come THEY dunno? YA KNOW?!”

”The answer is as mysterious as my origins, Purple One.”

“YOU’RE A PURPLE ONE! Also, your stripes are really pretty!”

“So are your paws.”

“May I feel your pretty stripes with my pretty paws? :3″

“You are MARRIED! Also, I am not purple, I am Magenta.”

“ And I’m Sorry I Asked! ;W;”

Toffee is watching them like “Pfft ... FURRIES!”

When things start getting more intense between them (Grimalkin & Eclipsa) later, Eclipsa tells Lunar over dinner that she wants to make other living arrangements, of course, the tyrannical King laughs in her face. THIS is what leads the Lovers to make arrangements of their own behind the King of Mewni’s back, at least until they can get away, they’re hoping ...

That’s pretty much it, sorry for going into a bit a mini fic mode, I just really wanted to sell the idea of Eclipsa... being a disabled person so that people would actually, you know... want to draw her as such. ^ ^; Since I don’t think it’ll happen at all in the show, twice, although it would be a freaking miracle if it did ... ^ ^;

I’m also sorry for the snobby way that I think some of this post is worded? ^ ^; I’m not trying to play the oppression game with anyone here .... ^ ^; It’s just, people see a character and they think of ways to see themselves.... and anyone can draw a missing eye, limb, or cane as a cool character trait or accessory but absolutely NOBODY (as far as I know) sees a character and thinks “I’m going to draw that “abled-bodied” character in a wheelchair, so people who maybe don’t have the physical ability to create sometimes can see themselves too”. Which is why I think starting a movement along the lines of #DRAWHERSITTINGDOWN, or more inclusively #DRAWTHEMSITTINGDOWN would be SUPER IMPORTANT.

I mean, at least it’s better than saying “cripple the bitch”. Which in retrospect I’m surprised hasn’t been turned into some kind of revolutionary artistic renaissance or reclamation movement made exclusively for disabled artists to draw what disabilities they’ve envisioned for the abled-bodied characters that they adore already (in a way that’s not the result of villainous violence or results in vendetta, unless of of course they’re a villain or simply have a vendetta against our abled-bodied overlords whom oppress us so, that would be an excellent excuse to have those elements included in the explanation of how their disability effects them, like I just did with Eclipsa ).

Because I feel bad and embarrassed because every time I want to see an “abled-bodied” character in a wheelchair, I think of the phrase “cripple the bitch” and then my internalized ablism thinks up some horrible accident they were in order to “make them that way”. Because nobody draws an “abled bodied” character in a wheelchair just because. Unless it’s the disability sign. And we need to start.

STAR VS. THE FORCES OF EVIL IS THE /ONLY SHOW/ WHERE I FEEL COMFORTABLE ENOUGH STARTING IT! AND I /STILL/ FEEL THE NEED TO EXPLAIN /WHY/ I NEED THIS HEADCANON RATHER THAN JUST SAY BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANY EVIDENCE OR CODING TO HELP ME. AND I’M AFRAID PEOPLE WILL ETHER HUMOR ME ONCE OR WON’T FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH IT BECAUSE THEY’RE ABLED BODIED. AND WHERE IS TOBY?! IS MY SON STILL IN DETENTION?! I DON’T MEAN TO DISOWN HIM BUT I DESERVE BETTER THAN AN ACTUAL HUMAN SIDE CHARACTER WHO ONLY SHOWED UP ONCE, A GOAT, A WEIRD WEREWOLF GUY, AND

I’m sorry that I feel like I’m playing the oppression olympics right now, like I’m wheeling over eggshells with every word that I type, but I know I deserve better, I really do! I deserve my Disabled Queen of Darkness, Eclipsa. And she and her wheels deserve a spot on Daron Necfy’s Diverse (and I’m not being ironic because I LOVE YOU FAERIE GOD MOM <3) wall of art, along with an actual (and still autistic) Star on Wheels . And so do Eclipsa’s husband and their son, Toby. Like all four in the same picture; a family portrait. That Would Be AMAZING!!! Especially if “Grimalkin” was like, like both Eclipsa AND Toby up on each arm IN THIER WHEELCHAIRS like they were lifting weights like in a “strong man” pose cause they’re arms are definitely big enough to support two manual wheelchairs that weigh virtually nothing them cause they’re so strong and they just ... can.

And Star is parked on the floor in front in her power chair ... with “The Gang” (Trans Marco, Jackie, Tom, Janna and Starfan13) all gathered around her and they’re all just being happy an goofy and Janna’s in Star’s lap, probably. Starfan13 didn’t have enough room so she’s like, squishing Star’s face with her’s in a hug, you know that cute squishy hug face?

Ingrid’s in the picture too, sitting in the monsters arms at Toby’s side holding his hand cause he’s a little nervous that he’ll fall. She wanted to be in the photo too and Grimalkin understood her cause they also speak German and they asked her if she could keep Toby company so he wouldn’t be scared. She said okay, but she’s not giving up her comfort item for nothin’, also it will cost The Queen her guillotine.

Eclipsa’s over on the other arm just lookin’ as chill as ever. Cause she knows that her Lovie would never let her roll off.

That would look PERFECT on Daron’s wall! Hopefully #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS becomes as popular as other fanon so we can make that happen! Feel to use any of the tags I’ve created to start posting!!! Maybe even said some Disabled Queen of Darkness to Daron!!! (And me of course, if I’ve convinced you that Eclipsa Is Disabled and you want to actively draw her and write her as such please send all your content to me!!! I’d love to see it!!!! <3)

I have other thoughts on the monster themselves, their love for Eclipsa, it’s importance to the entire freaking plot of the series, and the way they’ve been treated in favor of Toffee and Eclipsa herself, like that line about treating the monster lover as an accessory was there for a reason and I’m pissed, but I’ll write up why later because YOU KNOW WHY... and I wanna go ahead and get this posted before the final airs.

I encourage everyone who sees this to reblog this even if they’re not in the Star vs. fandom! Like you can consider this a one fandom/character/headcanon/masterpost thing but I feel like it’s a great way to get the general tags of #DRAWHERSITTINGDOWN and #DRAWTHEMSITTINGDOWN started! Also, REMEMBER: DO /NOT/ USE THE WORD “CRIPPLE” IF YOU ARE NOT PHYSICALLY DISABLED!!!!!

I know using “if” in an apology is wrong but I don’t know how else to word this so ... I’m genuinely sorry if any other physically disabled people reading this are uncomfortable with my usage of the word in this post? ^ ^; It’s just it’s used as a catchall by other people in our community and after finding cpunk, I recently started identifying with the word to help me find other people ... ^ ^; <3 OX

Also people, when you reblog this, please clarify whether or not you physically disabled in the tags in order to help me find other people... ^ ^; <3 OX I’ve never done this before, so words of encouragement and feed back would also be appreciated, and if you said something ... vaguely kind or encouraging before? ^ ^; <3 Know they still are (just now is your chance to reblog ^ ^; <3 OX)

I really would appreciate it if @starbutterflyisautistic and @marcodiazisatransgirl would reblog this too since *themorrison’svoice* YOU GUYS ARE SO COOL!!!!! ❤

And SPEAKING of cool criminal individuals I just want to thank Red for publishing my ask in the first place. She’s helped and inspired so many with the Trans Marco theory and she’s the one who helped me realize I had a basis for my Disabled Queen of Darkness too. Also, she’s the one who inspired the idea of Eclipsa’s husband being some weird bug thing who preferred to stay in their Mewberty stage, “like an invading body snatcher virus took over.” Because it shows some real contrast between some monsters and the mewmans I think, rather than just being some humanoid oppressors afraid of the scary monsters because they “don’t understand”. Because they had this “mewberty” thing happen to them, where they ether “wouldn’t be back to normal”, or they made the conscious decision to stay in or out of it, good or bad, and if they understood exactly what they were doing to the other monsters and enjoyed it because they considered THEMSELVES the“ideal” of what a monster should look like. And then that bad history was erased through centuries of .... literal humanization I just think there’s a bit more to explore through that narrative then having Eclipsa’s former husband be some cliche Gaston stereotype, or even the “well meaning Nice Guy TM who lets the girl go” trope.

And I know that making the Mewman King Eclipsa was married to a tyrant is a bit of a cliche as well, but striping Eclipsa of the powers she’s supposed have because of that, giving Eclipsa a physical disability and have her be oppressed because of that, like Star would be with the autism headcanon... It would kinda level the playing flied between Eclipsa and the Monster a bit because THEY’RE BOTH MINORITIES!!! THEY’RE BOTH OPPRESSED!!!! The Monster a bit more than Eclipsa but still ... the thing common helps them understand each other a bit more and helps this become much more than “ I married my oppressor because I changed them and they changed me” “love” story, because c’mon, so far, the basis for these two finding a connection in these fandom has been “You’re not bad for a ______” AND WE ARE SO NOT DOING THAT WITH WHAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE AN ALLEGORY FOR AN INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIP C’MON ....

And I wouldn’t have thought any of this if it weren’t for Red, she’s our rebel princess, she’s the best, loves the wayward sister in the purple dress, she’s given me the courage to fight, for Heckapoo On Wheels, Disabled Dark Queens and Butterfly’s ....and TOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Okay so I hope that wasn’t too corny but like, seriously, I love you Red!! You are ROCK and are (truly) an inspiring beautiful person who’s fun to be around and I hope this isn’t embarrassing or too much because I know we only ever had contact from that ask, but I owe you so much credit for inspiring me to claim Queen Eclipsa for myself as well as the other Past Queens of Mewni for other people with disabilities because it’s amazing that you and Daron have made me feel comfortable in my own skin enough to do that! I love this show and this little niche fandom of Wayward Princesses SO MUCH and it all means so much to me you have no idea and I am SO GLAD you’re a part of it!!! I’m worried that some of this post as well as that ask was worded with some twinges of jealously ... and maybe that’s why it wasn’t originally reblogged .... because I sounded so ...impatient? But I want you to know that I mean this, un-ironically, from bottom of my heart and I’m not just saying for notes or popularity: You are important. You are loved. You have done so much for the community and so much for me and so many other great things and more than enough things for me to thank you for so you don’t need to feel pressured to reblog this, Red! Just know that I thank you from the bottom of my heart and you’ll continue to do even more, I wouldn’t have known there was an interest in Eclipsa being disabled or have the courage to write this if it weren’t for you!! So Thank You!!! OX ❤

If it’s okay, I just want to link everyone to Red’s Princess Marco and Star vs. Trailer’s since they’re Hecka magical and wonderful, haven’t gotten comments in a while and all you Poo heads should leave some more love for them!!!!! ;) ❤

Princess Marco Trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4pYrOO68ys

Star Vs. Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qkjUFB-NcA

Congrats on Trans Marco being canon, everyone! ;) ❤ OX

Well, here I am, 12:50 AM, Monday. The night before they air the final. About to get my hand brace in the morning. About to finally post something that’s been in my drafts for a week, with spelling errors and other things I can’t be bothered to fix, with this post being the best post about Eclipsa that you will ever read. With Eclipsa (probably) about to be confirmed to be the abled-bodied ice pop I was worried about. FANON DON’T FAIL ME NOW!!!!!!! ❤ OX

(Get it...? Cause the saying is? And I’m? Yeah ....Side note about the goat and my sense of humor earlier DO NOT USE THE WORD “GIMP” IF YOU ARE NOT PHYSICALLY DISABLED ETHER, NOT EVEN IF YOU’RE USING THE BADLY NAMED ART PROGRAM TO DRAW ECLIPSA, THANK YOU!)

♠💜😈💋♠ ❤ ALL LOVE ECLIPSA, DISABLED QUEEN OF DARKNESS!!!!!! ♠💜😈💋♠❤

♠💜😈💋♠❤AND MAY YOU ALL .... DRAW HER SITTING DOWN... ♠💜😈💋♠❤

#ECLIPSAISDISABLED #DISABLEDQUEENOFDARKNESS #DRAWHERSITTINGDOWN #STARVSTHEFORCESOFABLIESM #DRAWTHEMSITTINGDOWN

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