#just imagine shes offscreen witnessing all of this :)

[sirenspells]

[agoddamn]

Tales of Duviri is a storybook written by Euleria Entrati for the purpose of teaching children how to handle the manic flood of emotion that comes with Void exposure.

I pose a question: why does Euleria feel so strongly about this?

Her interactions with her own children are... let's call them wanting, and dialog implies that the negative aspects of their relationship--her denigrating, controlling nature, the distrust, etc--did not begin only after the Infestation brainrot set in.

We also know that she holds her father in extremely high esteem, but Albrecht did not think much of Tales of Duviri (see: him talking about his previous disdain for it in his own Duviri notes). Euleria put resources into writing Tales of Duviri instead of more traditional science, and Albrecht did not think much of it.

So why did Euleria write Tales of Duviri?

Let's rewind a step. Void exposure-induced mania, the whole thing Tales of Duviri is written to help manage.

How was that discovered and studied? It clearly was studied, enough to be a recognized condition and for the Orokin to build the iso vaults and for Euleria to write Tales of Duviri. But who would they have observed this mania in if Void research was an abandoned dead-end line of study?

Perhaps...the man obsessed with the Void who'd survived an unshielded Void dive?

Euleria had patient zero of Void mania sitting at her dinner table. Albrecht is the character who's undoubtedly had the most Void exposure.

Albrecht himself must have exhibited the Void mania and mood swings that Tales of Duviri exists to teach caution of.

And that's why Euleria wrote it; she had this gyroscope of a mood swing at home. She admired Albrecht too much to consciously deride his lack of control as irresponsible and so she channeled her energy into writing Tales of Duviri instead.

The emotion spirals of Duviri are loosely based off of what Euleria witnessed in the Entrati household and particularly Albrecht himself.

I don't believe that any courtier is a 1:1 translation of a member of the Entrati household, but more that their toxic interactions and dramatic heights reflected things that Euleria herself saw--or lived.

This reading of the Duviri characters and story--that they mean things to Euleria specifically--gives us a fun new lens to look at all of the chapters with.

For example, Mathila.

"Two children, and no memory of her husband. Poor Mathila."

Two children like Euleria herself, eh?

Mathila loved her husband. He also textually does not exist. He's not on the screen or in the text. He is a memory, and one that Mathila herself cannot even remember. There is no portrayal of their love.

Pivot to a writer's perspective. You need to write a loving relationship. You look to real life for inspiration, right? If you're a married woman needing to write a married woman in love, you naturally look to your own relationship.

And if you can't find anything to base that love off of? Well...move that character offscreen. Just tell about the loving relationship, don't show. Actually, do you even have anything to tell about? Well. Move the entire loving relationship offscreen, then. She's got amnesia. Nobody needs to talk about the love to sell it or make it feel real now. The narrator can simply mention it as a fact and it need not be challenged. Euleria doesn't have to imagine a loving family life between a husband and wife and their two children and question why that's hard for her. There. Problem fucking solved.

Another parallel that fairly started screaming at me once I started considering that the Duviri courtiers had meaning to Euleria specifically: Luscinia.

"I was created to be Sorrow, written into being, to serve as a lesson... can that change?"

Luscinia knows that she is a tool. As much as she dreams of being more, she knows very well that she is a tool--both a literal narrative element to teach a lesson and within the story itself Thrax's servant (his personal songbird).

Is there anyone in Euleria's life who might have some angst over their position as a tool? A servant who wants to escape the limited definitions of their role?

And so... here I am, back to my old role. The diligent servant. Albrecht would have smiled at that, I think.

Loid. It's Loid.

Luscinia: "This structure and I share much. Both of us once useful, both of us discarded, both of us now derelict. Both forgotten." Loid: "How might this relic make himself useful today?"

Both Luscinia and Loid are also capable of surprising amounts of ruthless violence. Luscinia has no hesitation telling you to kill the Dax or otherwise wreak vengeance on her jailers. Loid's Necramech lines feature him ranging from being excited for ensuing violence to coldly promising the Murmur regret.

The Duviri Tales were a subconscious form of therapy for Euleria herself as well, allowing her to write a story where emotional explosions were a problem that must be addressed rather than a social struggle to be suffered through at the whims of the more powerful.

[swan2swan]

Thinking about how all three times I've watched "Evasive Action", the Sammy's Indecision Subplot has weirded me out and failed to grab me...

And I think I figured it out.

I think there was supposed to be a "Hey. I just killed a man" plotline there. The episode prior, Sammy and Yaz both disabled the control chips in the raptors--who promptly tore Kash apart.

The guy who had blackmailed Sammy and her family.

They probably wanted a "Revenge makes you Feel Empty" plotline for Sammy in that episode, but Standards and Practices said "Oh, you can't do that in this children's show, actually, the kids aren't allowed to kill people, and certainly can't say they did."

Which, admittedly...yeah, that would have been a little heavy.

So they had to cut it, whilst still on a time crunch. Heck, it could have even gotten to boards before that plotline got nixed. Then they needed to fill in three minutes of time in this episode, and the only thing that could really mesh was "Um, Sammy is upset at the group dynamic."

This is why her plotline felt unfulfilled: because they had something, but then they weren't allowed to do it. And, given a choice between "Let Sammy Be a Murderer" and "Let the Girls Kiss", we know which one they chose.

Granted, I still need to finish the rewatch and see how her dynamic with Kon plays out (especially because he's the Bigger Bad), but I would first like to submit further evidence to the jury:

-Darius and Sammy spend the episode that she should be processing her guilt together. They've had a few episodes before, but their main--and first--bonding moment was in the kayak. Wherein Sammy dropped this line:

Imagine if they'd called back to that line here. Sammy just killed a man to protect her family--the man who was also threatening her own family. When Sammy says she'd do anything, she meant anything. Sammy could be guilty, and Darius could say something like "You once said you'd do anything to protect your family...and you protected us." Then she could call it back to Kenji. Or something. Look, I'm speculating now, let's move on to EXHBIT B:

-Yaz and Sammy are not shown stabbing the batteries into the heads to disable the chips. If the "No, Sammy can't kill!!!" mandate was brought down on them, that might have been a shot they cut to comply. There might have even been more tie-in reactions. Note that Sammy's not looking enthused here. She's very hesitant. Maybe there would be a moment where she looks over at Kash, then steels her face and frees the raptor before running. But: The Action That Sammy Takes That Leads To Kash's Death is never shown on-screen, and whether it was for the purpose of the Reveal or not, she is Innocent by Children's Show Standards.

FINALLY, EXHIBIT C:

The reactions to Kash's death, the man who blackmailed Sammy's family, is...Brooklynn and Darius. Again. Yasammy frees the raptors, but Dinostar gets the reaction. Why? Why would that be? Perhaps because Sammy's expression was something setting up the next episode's plot. Vindication. Guilt. Pleasure. Maybe Yaz hugs her to her. Hides her face. Realizes it. I'm giving art and fic prompts here at this point. Whatever the case: we don't see Sammy's reaction to Kash's death. Which suggests--to me--that there was something they wanted to show, but couldn't, and decided to let it be an offscreen still-canon reaction that we just don't get to bear witness to.

Ladies, gentlemen, and the rest: I urge you to consider that the lack of resolution to Sammy's arc with blackmail is not the result of negligence in writing, but overambition that was shot down by the censors. They gave Sammy a Revenge Arc that was ultimately deemed Too Dark, so they gave her a rushed "I Am Not Going To Have Feelings About Anything Right Now" plotline, instead.

[loveislandthegame]

thoughts on today’s volume ! now why the hell are we a girl going to casa and not a casa girl !? we didn’t even get the season 6 treatment of being able to show up first. FB is so nasty for this

moving on, yash, larson, and caleb are all very cute !❤️ everyone’s already pointed out that yash looks like zeph, but how about larson lowkey being the guy version of lisbeth 😭 just imagine him with amber eyes

raunchy races was pay to win, to absolutely no one's surprise. the free option text being something among the lines of "i am not a main character" truly sums up this season 😭 i chose to have the underwater kiss with lisbeth

bare minimum but i love when the islanders actually remember specific things about MC, like her job

dean is… let’s just say liam-esque 😬 i actually don't mind islanders that are not romanceable, not attracted to MC, whatever whatever, but disrespecting her by acting like she doesn’t exist is not it. at least tristan served cunt 💔

up next is tea spilling with lisbeth, one of many "pay to find out what happened" scenes. i have no idea why MC couldn’t have just watched this stuff happen on the TV in the hotel, even if it was still paywalled it would've made more sense. also tristan and sofia being dumped offscreen is some of the most ridiculous bullshit ever, especially if they don’t end up returning (which i'm not sure about honestly, i'm split between either #tristofia coming back, or dean & whoever is stupid enough to bring him to the villa replacing them) why couldn’t MC take them down herself ? why couldn't we witness them melt down ? there's no way FB seriously thought this would be satisfying to players

anyways, the game does acknowledge that both jesse and lisbeth are into MC ! but the way it's worded would make more sense if MC hasn't been pursuing him at all, like idk why my girl is so confused. i literally picked the "reveal that you've always fancied him" option before leaving the villa 😭

party time ! i chose to dance with lisbeth, and then there's a diamond scene with dean spilling the tea in the most obnoxious way possible. moving swiftly on

then there’s some more grafting on the guys, i really enjoyed the scenes. afterwards we reach the point where we’re forced to pick a casa guy. i like all of them but they're just gonna be a placeholder for me. i used a number generator and got a 1, so caleb it is !

we have a compatibility challenge, and obviously MC and caleb won ! the drink was cute lol

but where is the option to throw hands with dean ! i can deal with him treating MC like trash, but lisbeth ?! 👹👹👹 he is legit a liam clone, down to the weird "tormenting our female LI" thing

(and isadora & nyah being like “he’s just joking teehee 😍” is so gross)

i chose to sleep with lisbeth ! i only snuggled her because FB’s lazy asses keep reusing whatever MC does at bedtime in casa for her movie night clip. i may be romancing everyone in sight, but i'm evading the consequences of my actions classy about it 😏

…as an OG islander ??😭 we were a bombshell, the AI is AI-ing. anyways, i wouldn’t be surprised if this ends up exactly like “umagate,” where we meet the casa girl that wants our partner. it would be nice to see jesse though 🤞🏽

overall, we're at the point of the story where everything starts taking a complete nosedive. call it the casa curse, i guess. and to make matters worse, a bunch of the worst plotlines from previous seasons have been reused, this is certainly the season of all time 😃 but for real, the only upside to this volume is that we could spend a lot of time with lisbeth ❤️ (and for me that's pretty much the only positive thing about us not being a casa girl) also, caleb's such a sweetheart, he deserves the world ❤️

[mandy4ever69420]

post about my dislike for "laura milkovich" speculation

i've seen a fixation on her as an abuse victim or addiction either to bolster mickey/mandys backstory or as an excuse as to why she would leave.

^often by people unwilling to extend sympathy to onscreen addicts or understand mandy's abuse. i mean flat out people think it didn't make sense that mandy had an abusive boyfriend because they think abuse only happens to people who are soft/weak/vulnerable

also relevant here to how desperately people need to define svetlana as young as possible (& by extension aging mickey up) - for it to be "okay" that she blackmailed him, because of idealization of youth as victimhood (& accordingly - no one who is a victim could be culpable for mistreating someone else. frank who?) or if she was his same age it's "less bad" somehow. factor fear of being unhoused/no income into svetlana and suddenly all this makes sense without tying yourself into knots

^or debbie. people love to emphasize that she felt small even at 20 as though that's not just how Everyone is especially in this show

you don't have to invent a mom for mickey to witness abuse of women. he had positive relationships with both mandy and sandy that explain perfectly well why he'd be touchy about how women are treated.

laura milkovich is a "character" that through virtue of being offscreen, nonexistent, unnamed (seriously i have no recollection of hearing this in the show) provides the opportunity to imagine the perfect nice, sad, innocent and uncomplicated DV victim.

somehow this seems to go hand in hand with a need for mickey to have an "explanation" for why he's able to be nice, or have interests. as though people don't just have personalities

side note: odd how people treat childhood as a look into a "true self" that's covered up or lost to trauma. just a really really weird philosophy to tout. i'll be honest i think mickey and mandy were probably the "violent" and "scary" 4 year olds that you'll hear the worst people on earth talk about with implicit blame on the child sometimes

or just desperation for him to have a positive parental figure? very rarely see this sympathy extended to mandy but ok

she was a nazi. or left her children with nazis. it doesn't matter if she was young when she first met terry (if that's the woman being described) or if she was being abused or if she was an addict. you cannot fuck a nazi and raise kids with a nazi without being a nazi

lots of horrible conservatives are abuse victims. this is not an excuse. she was at least 29 - if the woman mentioned in s2 was her, if that was accurate, if mickey was the brother being discussed - a grown adult nazi woman who exists entirely offscreen is not my preferred redemption story

if she had a realization moment that caused her to leave Re: not being a nazi, she left her kids with nazis.

i know fandoms are on the whole very white & that comes with some measure of just Not thinking through bigotry but what is with the persistent problem of redeeming nazis (or metaphor nazis) with no reason at all to believe they'd changed their minds. like across the board. not just shameless/extended milkovich family. very fucking gross pattern. you Can do better

there are interesting things you can do with the question of milkovich house + maternal figures but nothing about "what if we decided mickeys mom was nice and supportive and sad and also take it extremely literally that she looks like mandy" is it. i'm not even interested in having specifics on who their biological mom was i think it's better if they don't know for sure

like i can't get over the nazi thing. scratch a liberal and a fascist bleeds yadda yadda i fucking know but liberal fandom motherfuckers obsessed with redeeming cops and nazis are so startling every time

[mappingthesky]

I am a nostalgic girlie so I just love all the stuff from the very beginning when there was only like 2-3 accounts across all platforms that was obsessed with them as a duo

I love the "you can have her" tweet from PJ, I love that video of them where PJ goes and lays directly on top of Nymph, Nymph's birthday insta stories about PJ, the Taiwan trip photos, the gig they did in Boston during episode 8...

I especially think I love those moments because Plane was undoubtedly going through a lot during that time within the fanbase, and it was just nice to see that she had someone that was unwilling to budge in their support of her

Obviously love newer moments as well, but those earlier ones were all just so cute to me

ur so right anon!!!! sooooo many crazy moments to choose from :’) i agree that the mid-season offscreen moments have a certain flavor to them. peej was truly getting shit on in that era and nymph was ever-supportive. i have said it before but it bears repeating - i think the fact that nymphia adores pj so much speaks a lot to pj’s character. i find nymphia to be such a considerate and genuine person, i can’t imagine her standing by someone if she didn’t wholeheartedly adore them!! such love between these two, im so delighted to bear witness to it!!

[poppubaburu]

Here are a SPAMTON of content, [tumblr/twitter/instagram/tiktok sexy man!!! I’m kidding. He’s more of our Tumblr’s silly man! But whichever is your preference...] I made and did (Aha! see what I did there? ahahaha...(nervously laughs))

Spamton artwork description and lore from top to bottom

1. This is my very, very first Spamton NEO post. Please discuss and comment me what you think, please, Spamton enjoyers. I’m looking for more DELTARUNE community people and artists to talk to and share a common liking. 

It’s your preferred depiction of Kris encountering Spamton NEO in either Pacifist/Snowgrave Route. Either way, he’s gonna FINAL ATTACK eat Kris’s soul, spit it out, and repeat. 

2. There was a moment where I battled him, pacifist route, and FluffyGuard was on me, or the soul, while getting through Spamton Neo’s final attack. I headcanon thought he was sneezing at me with those attacks when I was spat out. It hasn’t left my mind. I guess Ralsei’s fluff was super effective. 

3. A bunch of Spamton lore all in one canvas page. Oh boy! Spamton enjoyers! Sit down, relax, and Wow! I have my head cannon stories and AUs to tell ya! 

An Addison AU moments where I wished the Lightner characters can bring him along on their journey and maybe...just maybe...rekindle with his friendship with the Addisons. Sure, Spamton would be incredibly resentful and embarrassed about it, but he slowly opens up and of course, there’s food. 

(1st battle sequence moment what if. Spamton being such a tease) Spamton has something in his mouth. You’ll never know...or maybe you already did know...

Canon that when Addisons abandoned him, he drinks. One of them happens to be Lemon Drop. Nvm. He’s already been drinking and hungover many times while with the Addisons.

Canon what his Addison appearance looks like before his current appearance.

The day he was over intoxicated of booze, he gets infected by Virovirokuns making his speech patterns, mental, and physical state worse. It’s uncommon, but this would happen multiple times. Poor fella.

I had a headcanon where Spamton has to pull off a disguise with Noelle to avoid Queen’s detection. Kris is just bored as fu--- throughout it but tolerates and actually enjoys Spamton’s snazzy/spazzy company. 

Spamton likes Ralsei. If left with Ralsei, he’d interchange between Dealmaker glasses and his usual normal form; There are times he gets paranoid that FluffyGuard attack/defense is on him; he shouldn’t need to sneeze. That or his smell/senses are that sensitive. 

If during Snowgrave route, I’d like to see and imagine offscreen moments of Spamton lurking (kinda like Sans did in Undertale) and observing Kris’s odd behavior towards Noelle; as well as witnessing Cyber World Darkner characters freezing, or dying. At the end of the ordeal of Noelle encountering Berdly, she meets Spamton or rather Spamton hesitantly approaches Noelle, not fully aware of her power and strength to kill him. She embraces him, whispers “I’m sorry”, and spares the salesman. She runs off to HOME, Queen’s mansion. Also, I’d like to mention how she is fascinated by dolls; and horror movies canonically. So, seeing this guy wouldn’t exactly faze her.

If there was a Pacifist AU moment where Noelle and the Lightner gang lets Spamton see fireworks. 

Kris is not exactly much taller than Spamton, but Spamton is slightly lightweight and can sit on the Lightner's shoulder and head just fine like a Pokémon buddy; a comforting beanbag. 

4. Headcanon that Spamton meets Noelle (Pacifist AU) and I kinda want hilarity to ensue between these two. Something between Netflix “Inside Job” bestie and platonic relationship or “The Ghost and Molly McGee” kinda thing. 

***Some other stuff Spamton and DELTARUNE series related are on my Twitter and Deviant-art page. *** Thanks for viewing. Please reblog; heart it, comment, or view it. Please and always give me credit as the artist if wanting to share. 

P.S. I don’t interact very much on Tumblr. I’ll do my best to. But I interact most on Twitter and sometimes Deviantart. It’s a little hard to manage tending to all different eggs in different baskets of social media. 

[kordeliiius]

I need the drama of admirabilis waking up as lunarians. Do the resurrected ones begrudgingly accept this new loft in life, especially since barbata could just select which memories to keep? Would variegatus feel like a failure for failing to free her people from the moon? Would the latest line of admirabilis be thankful for the lunarians?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU TO ASK HAHAHA

A lot of these questions depend on if memories can be manually altered or not. The answer I got from the source myself was no, I'm assuming the amount of retained memories depends on how much material was recovered in the first place. That being said, I wouldn't put it past the Lunarians to intentionally leave out some findings to put the gems at a disadvantage. Yet that doesn't necessarily mean they can pick and choose what memories they'll end up with.

Among the Admirabilis who were resurrected, those who witnessed the great emigration were understandably angry, to say the least. After witnessing the decay of their kingdom only to become essentially second-class citizens on the moon, some would probably rather stay dead then spend more time up there. Hell, I think it'd be in-character for Aculeatus to destroy everything in sight shortly after coming to. And I definitely think Variegatus would have a very specific current of emotions, stemming from her childhood goal of visiting the moon (which I doubt was ever successful). It's bittersweet learning that she finally made it, although not in the best circumstances, and I can only imagine how she felt upon learning how her people were treated up there.

Following the initial shock, many Admirabilis would still hold resentment, albeit displayed it in more subtle ways (one example I've given here). But I still think some would come to have a more positive outlook. That'd be more likely for the Admirabilis who remained on the moon for generations, now that their heads are clearer and it's easier to navigate their environment. Overall, having the Lunarians' physical advantages + a massive time bonus could open up many new avenues for discovery and forming friendships, and I'm still lowkey mad that we might not see how gem/admi relations developed offscreen. But regardless of how either faction generally felt, we've all seen how the predicament ends.

[saffronique]

I Read Leopardstar's Honor So You Don't Have To: A Review (Not Spoiler Free)

Oh Leopardstar. A cat who has long divided the fanbase as a leader beloved by some and despised by others. After years of waiting (for some) she was finally given her own super edition. In a word it was... underwhelming.

Introduction:

The book opens during Leopardstar's kithood days. The first scene is adorably heartwarming- readers are treated to Leopardkit and her denmates playing the warriors version of hide and seek, and there are some absolutely adorable moments here, such as Crookedjaw helping Leopardkit escape the seeker by whisking her away on his back, and Mudfur doting on his daughter. The scene takes a sharp turn when Skykit, one of Leopardkit's denmates, lures her away from the group to shove her head underwater and berate her for giving away Skykit's hiding place in the last round of hide and seek. Skykit's actions are startlingly cruel here, as she tells Leopardkit that she's a rotten kit that killed her own mother and that she is doomed to the dark forest like all the other murderers. This understandably disturbs and traumatizes Leopardkit, and when she speaks to her father about it, Mudfur reassures her that she is good, and that Brightsky came to him in a dream to say that Leopardkit will one day save RiverClan. Leopardkit latches on to this dream, and the book follows her through relatively disjointed moments in her life as she tries to live up to her destiny.

Pacing:

The pacing of the book is an absolute nightmare. We don't spend long enough in any one part of Leopardstar's life to see her have any meaningful interactions with other cats, and thus the majority of the relationships she has seem surface level at best, forced at worse, with Whiteclaw being a notable exception. She spends maybe 3 chapters as a kit, 3 as an apprentice, 3 as a warrior, 2 as a mentor, and so on. As a result, we don't actually get the opportunity to see Leopardstar learning or struggling in a meaningful way at any point. We're TOLD she's a hard worker, that she's dedicated and loyal, but the book gives you little chance to actually see it. The book slows down long enough to force an almost love story with Frogtail, which Leopardstar ultimately gives up on to focus on her work, but then a few chapters later Frogtail is dead and it's back to jumping around through her life.

The book really suffers from a lack of side characters and relationships to help things feel connected. The only real through line is this silly dream from Mudfur-not even an official prophecy- that Leopardstar focuses on to the exclusion of all else. Compare this to Crookedstar's Promise and Bluestar's Prophecy- while both books feature a greater destiny that the characters focus on throughout the book, they are given the chance to develop meaningful relationships that last for large chunks of the book. Bluestar has her relationship with her sister and her rivalry with Thistleclaw, and even her friendship with Thrushpelt, all of which allow her story to feel genuine and naturally lend themselves to interesting subplots. Crookedstar has his relationship with Mapleshade, his romance with Willowbreeze, his desire to prove himself to his mother- again, all things that make him feel like a well rounded, multifaceted character. Leopardstar has her dream, and ONLY her dream. None of her friendships last more than a few chapters before the other character is killed off. Her most meaningful relationship, with her apprentice and adopted son Whiteclaw, has the potential to round out Leopardstar's character, but Whiteclaw's fate has been predetermined. We all know he's going to die in the gorge because we see it happen in Fire and Ice. After Whiteclaw's death, Leopardstar briefly has a compelling relationship with Silverstream after she discovers her relationship with Graystripe. Silverstream and Leopardstar have opposing priorities of love and duty, and the interactions between them are an interesting insight into both characters. Silverstream actively rebukes Leopardstar's mindset and challenges her priorities, something that would have been invaluable in making Leopardstar's choice to join Tigerstar seem more consequential. But Silverstream too is doomed to die, and by the time the book reaches its climax, Mudfur is the only cat left to challenge Leopardstar's choices. Instead of letting the rift between father and daughter build, Leopardstar has no problem simply banishing her father and medicine cat for disagreeing with her. No one that she cares about is left to challenge her for her decisions, and thus there are no real stakes to the choices she makes. Sure, Stonefur dies and its awful, but the book doesn't bother to develop any real friendship or camaraderie between the two, so it doesn't feel as impactful as it should. The book concludes with Leopardstar understanding that she's wrong and Mudfur convincing her that she's going to save the Clan from the disaster she helped create. At the very least, Leopardstar seems to understand the problems with this and points out that it's not really her saving the Clans, its Firestar. This is completely true, as she has no role in Tigerstar's downfall and no role in stopping Scourge. The best that can be said for Leopardstar is that she doesn't get in the way of Firestar here.

She faces no real struggles aside from her father's doubt as to her ability to lead, a dynamic already witnessed between Brambleberry and Crookedstar and done much better.

Awful editing:

This book suffers from an almost unbelievable lack of care on the part of the editors, with big chunks of text very obviously cut and pasted to different parts of the story without any effort to edit out nonsequitors. The most painful instance of this revolves around Stormpaw and Featherpaw's apprenticeship. In one scene, Leopardstar comments on the fact that Primrosekit and Pikekit will be made apprentices any day (Reedkit is inexplicably absent here, and Perchkit seems to have died offscreen though it is never mentioned) and notes that Stormkit and Featherkit still have their kit fluff and look tiny next to their older denmates. A couple paragraphs later, we see Featherkit and Stormkit being apprenticed to Mistyfoot and Stonefur, in a paragraph that EXPLICITLY STATES that it's the very next day. The other kits have mysteriously been apprenticed already. Boulder and Jaggedtooth of ShadowClan are inexplicably present at the ceremony, despite there being no mention of their arrival at any point and Leopardstar refusing Tigerstar's offer to join their two Clans together the day before. A few pages later (yes, literally just pages later, that's how atrocious the pacing is) we cut to a battle between RiverClan and ThunderClan at the Sunningrocks, where Stonefur and Mistyfoot's parentage is revealed. Leopardstar doesn't actually hear this, but she does overhear them discussing it in the most painfully forced way possible moments later. Leopardstar finds herself absolutely HORRIFIED that she's apprenticed two half-Clan cats to half-Clan mentors.... and then a few chapters later, after forming TigerClan, Tigerstar asks her if she still intends to make Mistyfoot and Stonefur mentors to Featherkit and Stormkit despite their parentage, to which Leopardstar responds that they are still loyal RiverClan warriors. Yes, I'm serious.

Leopardstar's character:

This super edition is nothing but a showcase of the absolute worst aspects of Leopardstar as a character. Throughout the book she is shown as racist, battle hungry, self-centered, foolish, and utterly lacking in compassion or even pity for any Clan other than her own. She is constantly making racist generalizations about cats from other Clans, actively wishes for WindClan's downfall, sides with Tigerstar simply because Fireheart is a kittypet, and, perhaps most disturbingly, tries to murder Fireheart in cold blood because of his kittypet background. This book literally does nothing to endear the reader to Leopardstar, it makes her out to be the most despicable, honorless cat imaginable. And honestly, if you're not a Leopardstar fan, I think that's one of the most compelling things about this book. The desire to see what atrocities Leopardstar would commit next was what kept me interested in the story, honestly it was the only reason I finished it. There was something morbidly fascinating about watching a character so self absorbed and lacking in compassion interact with the world around her. It was enjoyable in a way to see a character so deeply set in the beliefs that the series has repeatedly established as wrong time and time again. Pacing and editing aside, this difference in philosophy is a breath of fresh air after the same recycled plotlines and moral messages that the series has been using for years. This book isn't going to make you like Leopardstar, but it is going to make you love to hate her.

What the book did right:

While there were very few positives to the book, it wasn't completely lacking in value. The book succeeded in developing a deeply meaningful relationship between Whiteclaw and Leopardstar that, thankfully, wasn't a romance. Their mother/son and mentor/apprentice relationship does a good job at setting up Leopardstar's grudge against ThunderClan over Whiteclaw's death as we see it play out in the first arc. Honestly, Leopardstar as a character would have been served far better if this had just been a novella detailing the relationship between these two. That was probably the only real thing of value in the book, honestly. Aside from that, Frogtail and Leopardstar's relationship, while I personally found it completely unnecessary, addressed a topic I've been hoping to see in warriors for a while now-- two characters who love each other but decide that the things they want out of life are mutually incompatible, and part ways amicably. Leafpool x Crowfeather and Bluestar x Oakheart both almost did this, but fell short because it was only ever really one character who decided to end the relationship. Unfortunately, the value in this message is somewhat diminished by the fact that Leopardstar later laments multiple times that she should've given up on her goals and just had kits with Frogtail instead, an absolutely disgusting conclusion that plays into the recurring problem of misogyny in warriors where women aren't allowed to be both mothers and hold a position of power, they have to choose between the two.

All in all, this Super Edition is easily the worst so far in terms of plot, pacing, and writing, but I still found some enjoyment in reading the perspective of such a selfish, cruel protagonist.

[amuelia]

How do you think Roose will meet his demise? Or will he survive? What's your best Roose end game predictions?

Thank you for the question! This will be a long post under the readmore, going into my thoughts on the show ending and exploring what the books may have set up in regards to themes and characterization, as well as a bit of general analysis of Roose' story arc in a Dance with Dragons (and some speculation about Ramsay as well).

If you click on the readmore i will have divided the post into sections with bolded Headers, if you want to only read my specific endgame ideas you can skip ahead to the "His Endgame?" section.

In The Show

The show had him get killed by Ramsay in s6, which informs a lot of the fandom speculation about this storyline.

I am not a fan of the show's scenario as it was both similar to tywin and tyrion as well as a mirror of robb's death; it would also be offscreen in the books since neither of the characters are PoVs and Ramsay would need to do the act in secret. This would ultimately undercut Roose' role and impact, being a death scene that is not very unique and also isn't shown to the reader directly. Since no PoV is even in Winterfell currently, we would just hear of it from afar and not witness the consequences.

The show also has a different dynamic in the Bolton storyline, emphasizing Ramsay as the "main character" of this arc, and elevating him to the main villain for s5-6 to fill Joffrey's shoes as an evil character played by a very charismatic actor. Ramsay's show writing is informed by the needs of a TV setting that wants shocking moments and capitalizes on "fan favourite" actors; his rising importance in the show thus is not necessarily an indicator of his book importance. The show was also missing many central characters like the northern lords and the Frey men in Winterfell.

The show had a tendency to kill off characters early when they wanted to cull storylines or had no plans to adapt more of the character's story (like Stannis, Barristan, possibly the Tyrells...); In Mance Rayder we have the most obvious example, where they killed him off for real in a scene that in the book was a misdirection. We also have characters like Jorah where it appears the showrunners had their own choice of how they want his storyline to end, even if Grrm has his own ending in mind.

"For a long time we wanted Ser Jorah to be there at The Wall in the end," writer Dave Hill says. "The three coming out of the tunnel would be Jon and Jorah and Tormund. But [...] Jorah should have the noble death he craves defending the woman he loves." - Dave Hill for Entertainment Weekly

So a death in the show does not need to be an indicator that the books will feature an equivalent scene, even if it gives a hint as to what may happen. By s5 the show has become its own beast, and the butterfly effects from radical changes they made as well as the different characterizations results in the show having to cater to its own needs in many cases when it gets to resolving a plotline.

"We reconceived the role to make it worthy of the actor's talents." - Benioff and Weiss for the s5 DVD commentary, on Indira Varma's casting as Ellaria

In The Books

(Since this post was getting out of hand in length a lot of these arguments are a little shortened/not as in-depth as i'd like! Feel free to inquire more via ask if something is unclear or you disagree)

In the books i find it hard to make a concrete guess as to how it will end. Occam's razor would be to assume the show sort of got it right and that it will vaguely end the same, which could very well happen and i will not discount the possibility; Ramsay is cruel, desires the Dreadfort rule, and is a suspected kinslayer and has no qualms to commit immoral violence.

"Ramsay killed [his brother]. A sickness of the bowels, Maester Uthor says, but I say poison." - Reek III, aDwD

Reek saw the way Ramsay's mouth twisted, the spittle glistening between his lips. He feared he might leap the table with his dagger in his hand [to attack his father]. - Reek III, aDwD

Arguments against this or for a different endgame come down to interpretations of the themes in the story arc and opinions on dramatic structure/grrm's writing, and are thus very subjective.

The way the story currently is going, Ramsay killing Roose treats Roose almost as a plot device; his death brings no change or development to Ramsay's character as we already know his motivations and cruelty align with such an act, and we can assume that he would feel no remorse about it either. The results of such a scene would be firmly on a story level, as it brings political changes and moves the plot along into a specific direction. Roose himself cannot have any relevant character development about it as he does not have a PoV and we would not be able to witness his reaction from the outside.

“The only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself.” - William Faulkner, often quoted by Grrm

Further, killing his father is very difficult to pull off in secret (Roose is frequently described as very cautious, and employs many guardsmen). And even if Ramsay pulls it off (people often interpret Ramsay as Roose' blind spot, assuming he might be caught by surprise, not expecting Ramsay would bite the hand that feeds him), Roose is the one that holds his entire alliance together; The Freys would be alienated by Ramsay who would antagonize Walda and her son as his rivals, The Ryswell bloc appears to dislike Ramsay (especially Barbrey), and the other northmen are implied to not even like Roose himself. Killing Roose would quickly combust the entire northern faction, and hinder Ramsay's further plans (another reason why I am not convinced of a book version of the "Battle of Bastards"). Though this might of course, if we look at it from the other side, be grrm's plan to quickly dissolve this plot and move the northern story forwards.

"Ramsay will kill [Walda's children], of course. [...] [She] will grieve to see them die, though." - Reek III, aDwD

"How many of our grudging friends do you imagine we'd retain if the truth were known? Only Lady Barbrey, whom you would turn into a pair of boots … inferior boots." - Reek III, aDwD

"Fear is what keeps a man alive in this world of treachery and deceit. Even here in Barrowton the crows are circling, waiting to feast upon our flesh. The Cerwyns and the Tallharts are not to be relied on, my fat friend Lord Wyman plots betrayal, and Whoresbane … the Umbers may seem simple, but they are not without a certain low cunning. Ramsay should fear them all, as I do." - Reek III, aDwD

Roose' death at Ramsay's hand also removes him thematically from the Red Wedding, as we can assume such a death might have happened regardless of his participation in the event (seeing as Ramsay is getting provoked by Roose constantly in normal dialogue, and has a general violent disposition). Roose already took Ramsay in before aGoT started, and married Walda very early in the war, which is already most of the buildup that the show's scenario had. It also has little to do with the The North Remembers plot except set dressing, since the northmen are presumably neither collaborating with/egging on Ramsay nor would they appreciate the development.

Themes: Ned Stark and the rule over the North

Roose is treated as a foil to Eddard; They are often contrasted in morals and ruling styles, while also having many superficial similarities that further connect them (they are seen as cold by people, grey eyed, patriarchs of rivalling northern houses, etc...).

Pale as morning mist, his eyes concealed more than they told. Jaime misliked those eyes. They reminded him of the day at King's Landing when Ned Stark had found him seated on the Iron Throne. - Jaime IV, aSoS

They both have a "bastard son" that they handle very differently; Roose treating Ramsay in the way that is seen as common in their society. Ramsay and Jon as a comparison are meant to show that Catelyn had a reason to see a bastard as a threat (since Domeric was antagonized by his bastard brother), but also shows that her suggested plan for Jon would not have stopped any danger either (as Ramsay being raised away from the castle didn't help).

And if his seed quickened, she expected he would see to the child's needs. He did more than that. The Starks were not like other men. Ned brought his bastard home with him, and called him "son" for all the north to see. - Catelyn II, aGoT

"Each year I sent the woman some piglets and chickens and a bag of stars, on the understanding that she was never to tell the boy who had fathered him. A peaceful land, a quiet people, that has always been my rule." - Reek III, aDwD

It appears to me that Roose' story functions in some ways as an inversion to Ned. He makes an attempt to grab a power he was not destined to (becoming warden of the north), where Ned did not want the responsiblity thrust upon him ("It was all meant for Brandon. [...] I never asked for this cup to pass to me." - Cat II, aGoT). Where Ned rules successfully and his northmen honor his legacy ("What do you think passes through their heads when they hear the new bride weeping? Valiant Ned's precious little girl." - The Turncloak, aDwD), the Boltons are largely hated and there are several plots conspiring against them ("Let me bathe in Bolton blood before I die." - The King's Prize, aDwD).

It seems possible to me that in terms of their family and legacy, Roose might also live through an inverted version of Ned's story; where Ned died first, leaving his family behind, Roose already lived to see the death of his wives and trueborn heir, and might thus also live to see Ramsay's death. Ned leaves behind well raised children and a North who still respects his name, and even though he dies it will presumably all be "in good hands" in the end (in broad strokes, obviously this is all much more morally complex). Roose however built up a bad and toxic legacy, and also built his way of life around evading consequences; it makes sense to me that he would be forced by the story to finally endure all the consequences of his actions and witness the fall of his house firsthand. After all we already have Tywin who fulfils the purpose of dying before his children while his legacy falls to ruins, and a Feast for Crows explores this aspect thoroughly.

Roose' arc in A Dance With Dragons

The story repeatedly builds up the situation unravelling around Roose, and him slowly losing a grip on it and becoming more stressed and anxious.

Reek wondered if Roose Bolton ever cried. If so, do the tears feel cold upon his cheeks? - Reek II, aDwD

Roose Bolton said nothing at all. But Theon Greyjoy saw a look in his pale eyes that he had never seen before—an uneasiness, even a hint of fear. [...] That night the new stable collapsed beneath the weight of the snow that had buried it. - a Ghost in Winterfell, aDwD

Lady Walda gave a shriek and clutched at her lord husband's arm. "Stop," Roose Bolton shouted. "Stop this madness." His own men rushed forward as the Manderlys vaulted over the benches to get at the Freys. - Theon I, aDwD

It also directly presents him as a parallel to Theon's rule in aCoK, who similarly experienced a very unpopular rule and his subjects slowly turning against him. Presumably, the point of this comparison will not just be "Ramsay comes in at the end and unexpectedly whacks them on the head". Both Theon and Roose invited Ramsay into their lives, giving him more power than he deserves, and causing Ramsay to make choices that increasingly alienate others from them (the death of the miller's boys for example has repercussions for both Theon and Roose). Grrm is likely steering this towards a difference in how they will deal with this situation.

It all seemed so familiar, like a mummer show that he had seen before. Only the mummers had changed. Roose Bolton was playing the part that Theon had played the last time round, and the dead men were playing the parts of Aggar, Gynir Rednose, and Gelmarr the Grim. Reek was there too, he remembered, but he was a different Reek, a Reek with bloody hands and lies dripping from his lips, sweet as honey. - a Ghost in Winterfell, aDwD

"Stark's little wolflings are dead," said Ramsay, sloshing some more ale into his cup, "and they'll stay dead. Let them show their ugly faces, and my girls will rip those wolves of theirs to pieces. The sooner they turn up, the sooner I kill them again." - The elder Bolton sighed. "Again? Surely you misspeak. You never slew Lord Eddard's sons, those two sweet boys we loved so well. That was Theon Turncloak's work, remember? How many of our grudging friends do you imagine we'd retain if the truth were known?" - Reek III, aDwD

Roose' arc is deeply connected to the relations he shares to the other northern lords, which has been heavily impacted by the Red Wedding. It stands to reason that they are going to be an important part of his downfall, and we see many hints of them plotting to betray him.

The north remembers, Lord Davos. The north remembers, and the mummer's farce is almost done. My son is home." - Davos IV, aDwD

Themes: Stannis and kinslaying

The books set up Roose and Stannis as foils as well; Both lack charisma and have trouble winnning the people's support, Stannis and Roose both parallel and contrast Ned, Stannis appears as a "lesser Robert" where Roose is a "lesser Ned", Stannis represents the fire where Roose represents the ice, both struggle over dominion in a land that doesnt particularly want either of them, etc... What i find interesting is how they are contrasted over kinslaying:

"Only Renly could vex me so with a piece of fruit. He brought his doom on himself with his treason, but I did love him, Davos. I know that now. I swear, I will go to my grave thinking of my brother's peach." - Davos II, aCoK

"I should've had the mother whipped and thrown her child down a well … but the babe did have my eyes." [...] "Now [Domeric's] bones lie beneath the Dreadfort with the bones of his brothers, who died still in the cradle, and I am left with Ramsay. Tell me, my lord … if the kinslayer is accursed, what is a father to do when one son slays another?" - Reek III, aCoK

Stannis is set up as someone who is very thorough and strict in following his own code and his "duty", even if he does not like what it forces him to do.

Stannis ground his teeth again. "I never asked for this crown. Gold is cold and heavy on the head, but so long as I am the king, I have a duty . . . If I must sacrifice one child to the flames to save a million from the dark . . . Sacrifice . . . is never easy, Davos. Or it is no true sacrifice. Tell him, my lady." - Davos IV, aSoS

The armorer considered that a moment. "Robert was the true steel. Stannis is pure iron, black and hard and strong, yes, but brittle, the way iron gets. He'll break before he bends." - Jon I, aCoK

Roose however is frequently characterized as someone who tries to get as much as he can while avoiding negative consequences, and who does not have a consistent moral code and instead bends rules to his benefit to be the most comfortable to him.

It is often theorized that Stannis will end up burning his daughter Shireen; the Ramsay issue might then serve to contrast the two men. If Grrm intends it to be compared by the reader, I can see it going two ways: Either Roose will be forced to finally act in a drastic way after avoiding his responsibility in regards to Ramsay and he will be forced to get rid of his son, making him break the only moral hurdle he has presented adhering to during the story (though analyzing his character, the kinslaying taboo is probably less a sign of moral fortitude and more him using the guise of morals to explain a selfish motivation). Or he might not act against Ramsay and suffer the consequences, presenting an interesting moral situation where some readers might consider his action "better" or more relatable than Stannis', breaking up the otherwise very black and white moral comparison between the two men. It serves as an interesting conflict of the morality of kinslaying compared to what readers might see as a moral obligation of getting rid of a monster such as Ramsay; contrasting Shireen whose death would not be seen as worth it by most. Ramsay as a bastard (who was almost killed at birth if he hadnt been able to prove his paternity) also makes for an interesting verbal parallel with the bastard Edric Storm, and might be used for a look at the utilitarian principle of killing a child (baby ramsay/edric) to save countless people from suffering that underpinned Edric's story.

"As Faulkner says, all of us have the capacity in us for great good and for great evil, for love but also for hate. I wanted to write those kinds of complex character in a fantasy, and not just have all the good people get together to fight the bad guy." - Grrm

"Robert, I ask you, what did we rise against Aerys Targaryen for, if not to put an end to the murder of children?" - Eddard VIII, aGoT

"If Joffrey should die . . . what is the life of one bastard boy against a kingdom?" - "Everything," said Davos, softly. - Davos V, aSoS

However Grrm decides to present these conflicts or which actions the characters will take in the end, it will result in interesting discussion and analysis for the readers.

His Endgame?

Looking at the trends of the past books, it is probably going to be hard to predict any specific outcome; every book introduces new characters and plot elements that were impossible to predict from the last book even if their thematic importance or setup was aptly foreshadowed.

Roose has a lot of plot importance and characterization that has, in my opinion, not yet been properly resolved in a way that would be unique and poignant to the specific purpose his character appears to fulfil. However I also have a bias in that i did not like the show's writing of that scene which makes me averse to see a version of it in the books, and i really like Roose as a character and want to see him have more scenes in the next book(s). This leads me to discount plot speculation that cuts his character arc short offscreen early. Roose is only a side character; however, i have trust in grrm's writing abilities and that he would give him a proper sendoff that feels satisfying to a fan of the character.

"…even the [characters] who are complete bastards, nasty, twisted, deeply flawed human beings with serious psychological problems… When I get inside their skin and look out through their eyes, I have to feel a certain — if not sympathy, certainly empathy for them. I have to try to perceive the world as they do, and that creates a certain amount of affection." — George Martin

Considering my earlier analyis, there is a case to be made for Roose killing Ramsay; however it appears grrm might have a different endgame in mind for Ramsay, foreshadowed in Chett's prologue:

There'd be no lord's life for the leechman's son, no keep to call his own, no wives nor crowns. Only a wildling's sword in his belly, and then an unmarked grave. The snow's taken it all from me . . . the bloody snow . . . - Chett, aSoS

I tend to think something might happen to Roose/the Bolton bloc later in the book that would cause Ramsay to attempt to flee the scene again like he did back in aCoK fleeing Rodrik's justice; perhaps Ramsay is sent out to battle but then flees it like a coward, or he sees his cause as lost. This time, the fleeing and potentially disguised Ramsay would not make it out to safety though, and get killed without being recognized as Ramsay, dying forgotten. This would serve as dramatic irony since Ramsay so strongly desired to be recognized and respected as a Lord of Bolton, without being too on the nose.

As for Roose, i could see him getting captured and somehow brought to justice (either when someone takes Winterfell or in some sort of battle). I see it unlikely that he will be backstabbed like Robb was, because it seems very "eye for an eye" and ultimately doesn't teach much of a lesson except "he had it coming"; But the various people conspiring against him could lead to his capture by betraying him (giving a payoff to the northern conspiracies and the red wedding). I would find a scene of him standing trial interesting since i believe we didn't have one of these for a true non-pov villain yet, and it would be an interesting confrontation that he cannot escape from (he also loves to talk so it would be a good read to see him make a case for himself).

I assume Roose will be out of the picture when the Other plot finally properly kicks into gear (whether dead or "in prison"). With Stannis as a false Azor Ahai and Roose as a false Other (with his pale, cold features), their struggle in the north seems to be a representation of the false "Game of Thrones" that distracts people from the "real threat" of the Others.

As always this is just my opinion, and it could all go very differently in the books! There could always be something that completely uproots my analysis and goes into a direction i did not expect from the material we had; But i have fate that Grrm as a writer will deliver and give me something i can be satisfied with.

[bi-demon-ium]

an extensive list of mostly comedic highlights from the finale

rip

the balloon just immediately crashing. “flight plan perfect :)” (noble sailing forth across the sky) “....oh no” (cut to it crashing onto the ground violently) *offscreen* “i think we’re down.” 

martina straight up storming curtain’s office, fighting off the guards and bursting in like IM INNOCENT

constance immediately wants to pour acid on his feet

reynie being like my ultimate plan to defeat him? tell a joke

and then immediately getting the response “sorry you’re not funny”

no one defends him

(he ends up telling, very badly, a very bad joke to curtain, who then proceeds to lose his goddamn mind laughing, complete with hysterical bending over and snorting, and then he actually says ok that was a good one, they told me you had no wit IMPLYING HE JUST ACTUALLY THOUGHT HIS BAD JOKE WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS. curtain has a terrible sense of humor, noted)

GORP?

the argument in the woods and mr. benedict’s intervention

*elephant noises* you know the elephants? i’ve heard of them

jackson and jillson saying “big day today :)” in unison all creepy and ominous and then immediately ruining it by being like “that sounded cool” “we should ALWAYS say the same thing”

martina. judas. 

You Disrespected Me. You Disrespected The Game.

mr curtain having wax statues of his brother and his friends made specifically to be a dramatic bitch while interrogating two children

mr curtain’s fucking magic trick and when he specifically shows off (”look in your bucket :)”) and like his reaction when she’s like what the fuck? like this man literally is like did you see my cool magic trick? did you see it? i made it appear in your bucket, aren’t i cool? how long did he practice this shit alone in his office

love how curtain keeps losing his shit at people. also the line like. fuckin. “do you know what they say about coincidences?” “................it’s my greatest shame that i’m not as well-read as--” “*sigh* it means there’s no such thing” “oh my god”

curtain’s completely just baffled what-the-fuck reaction to reynie running in, followed by sticky going to the window to let a RANDOM LITTLE GIRL WHO IS AT THE WINDOW OF THE FUCKING TOWER in, and going “what the fuck??” and she’s like “where’s the acid” and he’s like “ACID????” 

it’s so fucking funny he’s like. great.  this CONSPIRACY (they’re children) is LARGER THAN I THOUGHT (three whole children larger) 

also reynie then jumping to the joke, completely fumbling it while the others look on in horror as if watching a car wreck

[starts telling his joke] “What.” “wait actually no its goats--” “What Is Happening” “and then the bartender said, YOURE KIDS!” “...” “BECAUSE YOU’RE KIDS!” and then he loses his fucking mind 

curtain’s complete bafflement at what’s going on 

then switching to being apparently incredibly entertained and he’s like weird tangent but funny! 

i mean he gets what he was trying to do but still

curtain insisting he just Stopped Being Narcoleptic through sheer force of will, like a minute later he falls asleep 

mr benedict’s face on the elevator :(

i imagine since it was a while till he came back in there’s just a super long elevator ride to the top and he’s just standing there tapping his foot listening to generic music

kate being 100 percent ready to fistfight jackson and jillson

im not completely sure but like im pretty sure i saw milligan like swing her around to hit some of them or something but only the tail end of it

mARTINA SHOWING UP WITH THE TETHERBALL TEAM AND THEY’RE ALL SCREAMING A WAR CRY AND SHE’S THERE FOR HER BEST FRIEND

i know this happened in the books but constance blowing up the whisperer with her brain out of stubbornness alone. “what’s your favorite color?” “no.” we were wrong about the pink guys, it’s no 

the whisperer’s “oH” 

MR BENEDICT HUGS THE KIDS :) 

everything about the confrontation 

like they just. pause. IMMEDIATELY START YELLING

overlapping yelling HOW COULD YOU DO TO THIS TO CHILDREN?

“what do you want? did you come here to gloat?” “...what?”

(incredibly dry) ....that little girl is a psychic isn’t she?

(tired) ....perhaps

ugh. should have seen that coming

HOW. TELL ME HOW. TELL ME HOW RIGHT NOW

“why didn’t you try to reach me?” “i did” “ATTEMPTING TO KIDNAP ME IS NOT TRYING TO REACH ME” 

*silent ‘yeah, fair’ nod* 

the tommy jacobs story. both sad and sweet. also very funny. and the punchline, where mr. benedict just kinda stares at him, registers what he said, then immediately giggles and is knocked out? amazing

also number two and rhonda never ended up actually fighting the guys, they had an emotional convo instead, and like. sure, their presence made them not go up immediately, but if ONE of them had come with him the escape could have been prevented

then again the conversation might not have been so freely spoken

“i understand you were a ................................... circus performer?” 

“i seem to know an incredible amount of trivia about the building of the transcontinental railroad??”

it’s a funny line made heartbreaking by the way his voice breaks when she hugs him and he sounds really tearful

rhonda immediately backtracking with the balloons 

[thegoldenlily]

I wish BL had addressed Adrian's VA behavior more directly, but I feel like the VA series tends to keep positive views of their romantic leads so they don't dive into the abuse of power potential with Dimitri, or the abuse of power potential and emotional abuse with Adrian. For my own peace of mind I want to think that Adrian did realize he was abusive and apologize to Rose during BL, it was just offscreen because it happened during the first three novels and Sydney wasn't there to witness it.

Yes!!!! I like to believe that after Adrian did a lot of self-reflection and healing, and committed to trying harder to do better, he pulled Rose aside one day and apologized for everything he did and said, and recognized how wrong it was of him. I imagine he gave her room to process that and reaffirmed that she may not forgive him for that, and that's okay because it's her decision, he just wanted to finally own up to what he had done. I would hope Rose has had time to deal and start working through all of her trauma, and that she takes time to process but eventually her and Adrian become the Chaotic Duo that Rodrian should've been (read: platonic and utter chaos and dumbassery, not romantic).

I am maybe a bit of a hypocrite though because as strongly as I believe in needing to acknowledge Adrian's manipulative and abusive behavior, I really refuse to acknowledge the Dabbling plot. I think it was so poorly introduced and was completely brushed aside just after it was brought up. That entire storyline is so poorly handled, it felt disrespectful to the story in Bloodlines and to what Sydney and Carly had been through. In the version of BL in my head, the Dabbling story is not at all included, it just wasn't handled well at all and shouldn't have been there

[shimmershae]

My thoughts on Season 11, Episode 14--The Rotten Core--

Placing it behind a cut for those of you that’d rather sit this one out, lol.  

I have a feeling Whiskey Sniffer is gonna live to rue his life choices watching those poor people he pushed off the roof reanimate. Forgive me, but I seem to have already forgotten his name.  In my defense, there are just too many new folks this season.  

 Lance also is gonna live to regret underestimating Carol’s Queen Bitch skills, methinks.  He’s already primed for his “bastard, ahem, slimy bastard has to die” moment.  

 Josh Hamilton is doing a fantastic job, by the way. There’s so much going on behind his eyes and…not.  Like sometimes he has the fixed empty stare of a horror show doll (think Annabelle, lol).

 Maggie and Aaron is a friend pairing/partnership that, at once, feels more fresh and tethered to ASZ than her and Daryl.  Don’t get me wrong.  They’re family.  Since they bonded after the Farm’s fall.  And they’ve shared some good, touching scenes together.  But Daryl and Maggie scenes?  They are not the touchstone and nod to the past that Daryl and Carol scenes are.  Those supply the nostalgia, whatever the hell you wanna categorize them as.  I get there’s just Daryl, Carol, and Maggie (and technically Judith) left from those days, but Daryl and Maggie are not the serve Kang thinks they are.  Maggie’s closest people have all died.  Daryl’s is still here and yet Kang keeps a fabricated distance between them.  For reasons.  

 I love Lydia.  That is all. Forever and ever, Amen.  

 “I was just looking for you.”  Not Daryl seeking out his bestie when his OFFSCREEN tru wuv awaits.

 LOL.  Seriously, though.  He was going out of his way to look for her.  She was obviously doing the same to find him.  Guess who neither are looking for?  

 Sidenote:  How pretty does Carol look?  And she’s wearing red!  Nice callback to Season 2, AK.  

 It cracks my shit up, though, that Daryl has all these other choices of wardrobe now and he sticks with his angel wings vest and those pants.  

 There’s some meta sprinkled all over this little scene with these two  and their interaction and choices of attire but I’m tired, hahaha, so I’ll let you lovelies read between the lines.  

 Tickled me that the Colonel—X-Ray helped me determine that, thanks—was like quit your flirting with the pretty cookie lady, Dixon, and get your ass to work.  

 Rosita and Daryl’s buddy banter has been gold since they’ve been on this stint as CW Stormtroopers.  

 Anybody else think Rosita’s smirk is as much over the knowledge that Daryl’s gone out of his way for his daily Carol fix as his daily donut run?  

 Interesting how everybody else is all suited up already but not Rosita and Daryl.  Telling of their mindset.  

 Daryl’s slow, smart ass golf clap when Sebastian prompts him for validation is everything.  As is Rosita’s expression in response, lol.  

 Lydia and Elijah having Maggie and Aaron’s backs.  I know that’s right.  

 Cassady McClincy does so much with just her eyes and the inflection of her voice.  Her entire face.  Make you think of someone?  Seriously. MMB is THE MASTERCLASS and Cassady is her pupil, her little master in training.  How lucky are we to get to witness their brilliance?  

 Lydia being so hurt to see Negan with a new group pulls at my heartstrings.  Not gonna lie.  

 Maggie and Aaron’s faces when Negan’s lady friend called him someone their group trusted, lol.  I mean, they’re justified to have their doubts.  Don’t @ me.  

 Can you imagine walking through a field in those ridiculous stormtrooper suits?  Walking anywhere really.  

 Rosita wanted to rip Sebastian’s tiny ass balls from his sack via his throat when he called her “Sweetie.”  Me too, girl.  Me too.

 That little prick risking peoples’ lives for money. Pamela is right.  Her son is an asshole.  

 Lines of credit, lifestyles in a Z-APOC?  Stuff that makes you go WTF.  

 Daryl and Rosita going feral over “their kids”? That’s hot.  

 Interesting, too, how Uncle Daryl is acting full on Daddy for those Grimes babies.  

 Is it just me or were those walkers Daryl accidentally bumped into all up in his face like “you wanna piece of me—come at me, Bro?”  

 Oh.  So this is April, huh?  

 Negan being married reeks of WTFery but you know? Whatever.  WTFery is apparently Angela’s brand.  

 “No, it isn’t.  I hoped that they might be but they just want to swallow up other communities.  They’re like the Whisperers.  They just wear different masks.”  You tell them, Baby Girl.  You can tell Aaron knows Lydia’s dropping a nuclear truth bomb.  

 Oh snap. I see Hershel went to the Carl Grimes School of Shenanigans.  Where all those people at complaining Maggie is the absolute worst as a mom like they did back in Lori’s days?  Like, this is worse in a way because it’s not just the dead out to get them but the bad apple humans too.  

 “Twelve weeks.  Give or take.”  That Negan, Man.  He works fast.  

 “If anything happens to him…”  “It’ll have to happen to me first.”  Weird thing is? I believe him.  But they need to stop acting like Negan didn’t try to kill Carl and actually did kill that Hilltop kid.  

 “He’s in the hands of the man who killed his father.” That.  That right there.  No matter how much charisma JDM lends Negan, I cannot forget Glenn.  

 “He doesn’t get to forget.”  100% with Maggie on this.  If what Annie says is true and he truly hasn’t, though?  He has a strange way of showing it up until this point.  

 I don’t often praise LC for her acting.  I honestly find it somewhat uneven.  Maybe it’s the accent from the early days still influencing me.  But I feel like she did a good job here as someone that absolutely cannot fathom how the man that devastated her happy life gets the chance at happiness of his own when she lives each day with her loss.  

 I mean, is Hershel just that damn smart or making anti-level leaps of logic?  Maybe I should reword that because antis frequently be so far off the mark and sadly or stubbornly do not realize it, lol.  Hershel went from A to Z real fast.  Maybe he’s the one needing to skip two grades.  

 JDM is one of this show’s best actors, IMHO, and he’s doing the best with what he’s been given.  BUT.  I don’t know if it’s all the time jumps or Angela forcing us to read between the lines for so much when the characters are acting in opposition to what her interviews, etc. are telling us.  It’s just coming across as disingenuous instead of organic because she skipped over all the hard work.  Or, you know, she’s putting in all this effort to “redeem” or garner sympathy points for her show’s villains and doing nothing to stop fans “vilifying” her actual heroes/heroines.  Like, where’s the disconnect?  

 It always amazes me how dark these abandoned houses are on TWD. Like, I get it.  There’s no artificial light, the windows are shuttered/boarded up, etc. but still.  

 I swear.  The walkers in Ohio/CW country be much more aggressive.  

 Okay.  That alarm and the three of them—April, Rosita, and Daryl—is kind of giving me Killer Within flashbacks with Carl, Maggie, and Lori in the Boiler Room and Carol fleeing to the Tombs thanks to T-Dog’s sacrifice.  RIP Dog.  RIP Lori.

 Daryl looking at Carol like OMFG, here’s my avenging angel.

 The way Carol don’t mess around when her bae in danger. She went straight to probably the only person she feels has integrity in the whole of the CW—Mercer.  

 You know Carol done impressed TF outta Mercer because he ain’t looking at or addressing her as the Cookie Lady, LMAO.  

 Gutting up never works for the sheltered lambs. This April chick about to be walker chow.  

 Mercer, Daryl, Carol, and Rosita are the BADASS quad we need so much more of this season.  Less newbies. More of them.  

 Poor April.  That is all.  Barely knew her but she didn’t deserve that.  

 Mercer trusting Carol to have his six.  Yeah.  The man recognizes a warrior when he sees one.  

 How they always stay so quiet, lol?  I be breathing heavy when scared or my stomach growls and says come and get this bitch.  

 Does the CW have food?  I mean, they do right?  Maybe Father Savage joined a gym because he’s getting so damn skinny.  

 Welp.  Whiskey Sniffer deserved nothing less, though.  

 How come everybody else looks dumb AF in their stormtrooper gear but Mercer looks fierce?  

 “How many others did you send in before them?” Carol getting to the heart of the matter.  If Mercer himself hadn’t already had enough, I feel like my girl would have popped those two herself.  

 Carol’s expression afterward, though.  Rosita’s too.  My girls be like WTF.  This man means business.  

 Okay.  Who’s gonna get the joy of offing that weasel Sebastian?  

 “Finally.”  So. Lance knew about Sebastian sending people out to die so he can continue life as a rich little douche canoe?  My girl had to turn away.  

 Oh.  He dead. He just don’t know it yet.  That look.  MMB out here slaying every day.  

 Hershel mean mugs like a champ, lol.  

 It’s the unasked for, unwelcomed return of the forest witch, aka Leah.  Ugh.  

 Time for Angela’s explanation points—

 Negan has a fondness/care for children, huh?  Sure, Angela.  Tell that to the Hilltop kid that got beat to death.  

 Always planning to bring Leah back, hmm?  But why?  She’s added absolutely NOTHING of value to this final season.  Ugh.  I’m FFing thru the rest of this shitpile, sorry.  

 Overall impressions:  

 It was a good episode with some good tension, but Angela obviously has a differing opinion than a lot of us about what makes the episode and what’s hitting the cutting room floor because we should have gotten to see the moment Mercer realized Carol wasn’t cookie cutter material.  We were robbed.  Not of just that but Carol’s face journey and MMB working those nuances when her Pookie missed their “date.”  Not to mention we should have been able to bear witness how it came to be that Lydia and Elijah learned to trust and work together so well but nah.  We got more redshirts and newbs to meet right up until the end credits roll.  

[degenerate-perturbation]

Viv Reviews: The Witch’s Heart by Genevieve Gornichec

Being as I am contractually obliged to read all Loki-the-mythological-being fanfiction, I dive bombed this book like a seagull espying a stray french fry on the boardwalk. I had never heard of it before I saw it on the shelf at the bookstore, but reading the summary and the first page, I bought it immediately, started it within a few days, and finished it over the course of approximately four baths. Usually the lag time between me becoming aware of a book and actually reading it is anywhere between a year and a decade, so this is pretty incredible performance.

And this one was actually good! Really good! Or it could have been, if it didn’t absolutely cheese it in the second half of the story.

The first half is extremely solid, if somewhat conventional. It follows the myths, centering on Angrboda and Loki’s relationship. I had a pre-existing attachment to Loki and enjoyed all of this greatly. Was it stunning literature? No. Was it a really solid, satisfying fanfiction? Yes. And I will give the first half of the book solid marks on that front.

I’ll be honest. I read this book for Loki. But I really enjoyed Angrboda as a protagonist here. She minds her own business. She doesn’t hold grudges. She doesn’t want revenge for the trauma and wrongs visited upon her. She doesn’t cling to pride. Overall it paints the picture of an admirable person, who never strays into the saccharine or unbelievable. I like her. Even though I am a Loki apologist through and through, when they part on bad terms, I was fully on her side.

I also really like this Loki. In this book his key flaw is identified not as dishonesty or disloyalty, but as an excessive desire to be accepted. Loki is willing to do anything to continue to be accepted by the Aesir, or rather tolerated by them.  He is ready to suffer any humiliation, any degradation, any pain, any loss, all to keep his tenuous, heavily-conditional place among them. For all us faggots and retards and adjacent undesirables in the audience, this is a familiar emotion. I clapped my hands in delight to watch it all play out; Loki the weird kid who eats dirt trying desperately to keep the cool kids laughing so he can imagine that they are laughing with him, not at him, even if it means betraying his own family.

There is another interesting element to this story and that is the hint of Angrboda/Skadi as the endgame relationship. It’s built up nicely; Skadi and Angrboda are good friends, jealous of one another’s husbands and not talking about it, all the while we the audience know that Angrboda and Loki’s marriage is doomed to explode. When Angrboda is nearly killed and all she loves taken from her, Skadi is the one who is there for her. Aha! I think. So this is why Skadi hated Loki so much, and why Angrboda left Loki to his fate! Hohoho, I can’t wait to see this play out.

And then it just fucking doesn’t.

At the midpoint of the book, the tension drains away, there is no structure to speak of, and Stuff Kind Of Just Happens.

Having healed from the attempt on her life, Angrboda decides to set off on a journey to rediscover her magical abilities. She gives Skadi the standard “I have to do this alone” line, and...Skadi just goes, okay, bye then, and lets her go. And then she just isn’t in the story for a long time.

At this point Angrboda’s goal is to find her daughter, because she knows her sons are fated to die during Ragnarok. Angrboda is unable to die; she always comes back. This is one of the first things established about her and the audience is reminded of it when she fails to die when she is killed, at the midpoint. Aha! one might think. Angrboda will be so desperate to see her daughter that she will repeatedly try to die, and be unable to! Only once she has exhausted every option and given up on despair, only then is she able to access her magic and travel to the underworld without dying! Only by choosing to live can she truly heal and progress in her goals!

But that is not what happens. What actually happens is that Angrboda putzes around for a few years Finding Herself and making friends with local wildlife.  She relearns her magic because Freyja--a character who has hardly been mentioned in the story up until this point--teaches her. Because Girl Power, or something. When she finally does reach Hel, it doesn’t feel like an exciting emotional climax, it’s just kind of another thing that happens. Poor structure!

Here is another example of poor structure: the eventual Angrboda/Skadi relationship.

After they randomly part ways just at the juncture where serious relationship development would reasonably be happening, they next speak to each other after Ragnarok has started. Skadi comes to visit Angrboda. She tells her about the binding of Loki, but leaves out her role in it. Later, she guiltily admits that she was the one who added the snake, because she wanted to make Loki suffer for hurting Angrboda. This makes Angrboda realize that Skadi loves her, and they become lovers. Several months later, Angrboda decides, for no particular reason, that she should free Loki.

Look. I’m not any kind of screenwriting genius. But there is an obvious way that this should have played out according to every law of dramatic tension. Here it is:

Skadi goes to see Angrboda at the start of Ragnarok, and, driven by the impending apocalyptic events, confesses her feelings. They become lovers. Skadi hides her role in the binding of Loki for the duration of their relationship. Angrboda spends months or even years lost in the haze of complacent gay love and resignation to fate. Then, much later, Skadi tells her the truth. This horrifies Angrboda, and is the catalyst which makes her decide to free Loki. The realization that she still cares for her good-for-nothing ex-husband spurs some character development.

But Angrboda and Skadi can’t have any drama or emotional conflict or tension in their relationship. Because Girl Power.

And when she gets there, and witnesses her ex-husband, the father of her children, horrifically tortured and maimed as a direct result of the actions of her current lover, what does Angrboda do? She takes a moment to have a little pow-wow with Sigyn and let her know that there are no hard feelings and we women have to support each other you know. Because Girl Power.

The rest of the story is an incoherent soup of Stuff Just Happening. It has that fanfiction vibe of just trying to get through all the canon plot points while the characters we’re actually focusing on have nothing to do with them. There is one cool part where Angrboda realizes that Hel has a weak heart--so she cuts out her own and gives it to her, and this allows Hel to survive Ragnarok. Loki was the one who returned Angrboda’s heart to her at the start of the story, so this is quite sweet and fitting. But it happens offscreen, and then we are subjected to Hel & Baldur’s romantic banter which is gratingly exactly the same as Angrboda & Loki’s romantic banter.

There is a skeleton of a good story here. But that’s really the best I can say for it. I’m not really sure what happened here--other reviewers have suggested a lack of imagination on Gornichec’s part, and maybe that explains some of it, but I suspect the Girl Power themes also have to do with it. So many scenes and plot points seem only to exist to affirm the theme of Women Supporting Women. I vaguely get the impression that Gornichec is shying away from centering the Angrboda and Loki relationship, too, Because Girl Power. Only this doesn’t work, because it is quite clearly the central relationship, and acting like it’s not just makes for poor storytelling.

I’ve said before that a mark of a good story is one whose prose, plot, characters, and world all uniformly and point in the same direction, creating a coherent Theme. Here it’s more like the Theme was dropped into the middle of the plot by a dumptruck and left there, getting in the way of the actual story and messing up the structure. And structure is seriously important! The book I read immediately after this one was The Rise of Kyoshi by F. C. Yee, another published f/f fanfiction novel, and I won’t be reviewing that one, because it was damn good - in large part due to its tight, coherent structure.

The Witch’s Heart could’ve been it, but ultimately turned out a disappointing fanfiction. Compare Miller’s Circe - but Circe was a better book by far.

[johannstutt413]

(requested by mathmaticalknight)

“Alright, alright, is everyone here?” Blaze glanced around at the table of folks she’d gotten together at her usual bar. “Good. First things first: the Doctor, Bunny, and Kal’tsit can’t figure out what we’re up to, kapeesh?”

“Obviously. It’s pretty hard to surprise someone when they know something is coming,” Click agreed, messing with her camera settings as they talked. She wanted to be sure she was the first person to get the Doc’s face on camera.

Nearl looked a little uneasy, sitting in her chair. “This all seems rather in poor taste, skulking about like criminals.”

“Hey, you’re here, too,” Rope commented. “Don’t get all high and mighty on us, ‘ma’am.’”

“Right, I apologize...Miss Blaze?”

The Feline came back to earth from her musing on the Doctor’s face. “Don’t worry about the Miss, Nearl. Alright, I’m really bad at plans, so does anyone have one?”

“Hmm...Where does our Doctor spend the most time?” Leonhardt asked, looking around the table. “In the office, right?”

“When not in her room, yes,” Gravel confirmed, a knowing smile on her face.

Rope raised an eyebrow. “You’re sure the Doctor’s a woman?”

“Oh, I’m quite sure~” Her smile spoke for itself. “It will be fun to see how you all go about this, though.”

“If they spend most of their time in their office, then maybe we can set up an ambush in the hallway. Trip them with one of Rope’s tethers, go to help them up and ‘accidentally’ slip the mask off their face?”

Blaze nodded. “Seems like a start to me. Leon, you came up with that idea, so you and Rope can work together on it. Let’s say that’s Plan A. Who’s got a second option?”

“Ooh, I think I have one.” Utage grinned. This plotting thing was pretty fun, it turned out. “They have to eat at some point, right? Get them talking while they’re having lunch, sneak some recording in while they do.”

“Yeah that seems fine. Nearl, you cook the best out of anyone here, so can you take care of that?”

The knight nodded. “That does seem to be one of the more honorable ways to participate in this quest.”

“I’ve got one.” Gravel raised her hand. “Why not just ask?”

“...Last resort. Alright, I think this takes care of our first meeting. Click, you know what to do, so just get in there and make some movie magic. The rest of us? We have our assignments.”

Rope cocked her head. “And what are you gonna be doing during all of this?”

“Me? I’m as subtle as a sledgehammer. You really want me helping out?”

“...Good point.” The Cautus sighed. “Alright, Leon, let’s talk about what kind of tethers you’re thinkin’...”

--- ----- ---

“And...action!” Click whispered from the shadows as the door to the Doctor’s office opened, allowing her to slip in as Utage brought in a lunch bag for them.

“Good morning, Doctor.” She set the bag on their desk. “It’s about time for lunch, isn’t it?”

They nodded, their voice - as usual - muffled by their mask but still perfectly audible. “Yes, it is. You brought this for me?”

“Miss Nearl would have brought it herself, but she’s busy with some other things, so I volunteered to bring it to you. Dig in!”

“Oh, I will.” The bag remained undisturbed as their hands ran up and down the keyboard in a hail of keystrokes. “Not at the moment, however. I have to finish this report before the words leave me.”

Utage sighed - she’d hoped to be there when the main event happened. “Very well. Have a good day, alright?”

“Oh, I plan to. It should be a film-worthy one.” Was it just Click, or did their head tilt ever-so-slightly her direction when they said that? Nah, probably just coincidence.

‘Man, they’re good,’ the record-keeper had to admit. ‘But I’ve got the fastest red-button hands this side of Higurashi, so good luck getting past me, Doctor. One way or another, I’m gonna see what’s behind that mask of yours. Believe it.’

Their report seemed to be quite a long one, however, as it was thirty or so minutes before they stopped typing and turned their attention to the bagged lunch. Slowly, they reached out, took hold of the bag, set their other hand to their face- and at that exact moment, her camera malfunctioned. ‘Sonuva- wait, are they…?’

“Ah...That was good.” The Doctor, in what couldn’t have been more than a minute, had already eaten their food and was rolling up the bag into a tube. Once they were done, they stretched, said to the corner where Click was hiding, “I’m going to take a walk,” and got up from their desk.

...The Zalak sighed, waited for a moment for the door to swing, and bolted after them.

Down the hall, Rope and Leonhardt waited around a corner, hidden from that direction by the shape of the walls. “You think Plan A failed?” The criminal wondered aloud.

“Probably. The first one almost always does.” He gave her a once-over. “Hey, are you busy later?”

“I’m doing this instead of working, if that’s any indicator.”

The folk hero smiled. “Cool. Wanna get drinks when we’re done here? I’ll buy.”

“Oh, you would one way or the other.” She giggled mischievously, messing with her bangs. “Still, nice to have someone ask for a change. Sure, let’s do it.”

“Morning, Rope, Leon,”  the Doctor said as they walked by, a yellow-and-grey blur walking in their shadow.

Once they’d walked by, Rope sighed. “Well, there goes Plan B.”

“Yeah...I don’t mind, though.”

“Me neither.” She shrugged. “Especially if Gravel’s right about them being a woman.”

Leonhardt nodded. “Honestly, any answer at this point would ruin things for me. So, how about that drink?”

With both plots foiled, Click at this point was simply chasing the Doctor out of habit; they had nothing else to do, nowhere to go, and she’d come this far, so she might as well keep going and see how deep this rabbit hole ends up. In the middle of an empty hallway, after a quick glance around, their subject stopped, turned faster than the Zalak could move, and nodded. “Gravel, have you shut off the camera in this hallway as requested?”

“Yes, Doctor~” The second Zalak practically materialized next to Click, whose eyes blinked several times in rapid succession.

“Excellent.” They turned their focus to the streamer. “Turn the recording off, please.”

She sighed and complied. “Sorry, Doc, it’s just-”

“Oh, I know. You’re curious, aren’t you? Curious why I wear the mask?” As they talked, the emergency quarantine walls shut off the hallway; anyone outside would see Blaze casually whistling from not too far away from a recently-pressed red button.

“C-curious?” The sudden set of twists spiked her adrenaline; her eyes turned crimson. “I’m a girl working for the public, Doctor. People wanna know, and I wanna be the one to tell them.”

They cocked their head. “You don’t want to know for yourself?”

“Honestly? A scoop’s a scoop, and at this point, the only way I’m getting the shot is if you give it to me...Still would be nice to have your face on camera.”

“Fair enough.” Without hesitation, they took off their mask...revealing a brown-haired Cautus with Originum-dyed sclera and piercing crimson irises. “Any questions?”

The Zalak hit record, and this time, her camera turned on without any issues. “People have been dying to know: how do you identify yourself, gender-wise?”

“A tactician.”

“...Interesting.” She scrapped the next question she had, and found she’d run out of questions. “Well, that’s all I can think of.”

The Doctor smiled. “That’s fine. I have a question for you, while I’ve got you here.”

“Really?”

“Mmhmm.” Click blinked, and they were in front of her, the camera feed turning to static. “Why do you think I want to keep my appearance a secret?”

...There were two paths before her, and she chose the one less followed. “Because you save it for your friends?”

“Close. Gravel and Blaze are the only other two who’ve seen my face before. The latter forgot, as her witnessing it was an accident on the battlefield; the former...it’d be rather hard to avoid her seeing my face every night.”

“Ah.” The streamer nodded towards the Zalak in question. “That makes sense...So why show me?”

The Doctor’s grin went toothy; Click swore she could see flecks of Originum slug in their mouth, but that must’ve been her imagination. “Because if you say no, I can simply make you forget.”

“Say no to what?”

Gravel whispered something in her ear, and the red in her eyes faltered for a moment before flaring to the point of glowing. She turned off her camera as the Doctor redonned their mask,  isolation walls coming down around them.

A video was posted later that night. Click, eyes their usual color but hat off and hair somewhat frazzled, reported that out of respect for the Doctors’ privacy, she would not be able to release any videos of the Doctor’s face. Before the end, however, some of her keener viewers noticed something unusual: a hand beckoning to her from offscreen...

[thunderheadfred]

S1E8 - Fromage

Oh no it’s THIS episode

Again, appropriately titled. Cheese, pure and simple

Can we take a moment to appreciate Will Graham, neurodivergent icon, who starts this episode drunk on his bedroom floor, taking apart a boat motor, surrounded by his half-dozen rescued dogs? If you’re not in love with him after this, you’re wrong.

Oh Franklin. 

Imagine being Lecter’s patient and realizing you have a lifelong psychopath fetish and that all the men you’re attracted to don’t just enjoy killing people, but they do it in spectacularly extra ways. Oh, this poor idiot man

This whole..... dead man instrument thing is TOO MUCH

Will. Stop, DONT. do NOT play the dead man. He’s gonna do it, he’s picking up the bow. WILL NO

That is NOT how string instruments work this is NOT happening 

this show needs to drink some chamomile and go the fuck to SLEEP

Tobias really gives absolutely zero fucks and I for one support him

Hannibal plays the theremin and harpsichord. Wow. Okay.

Will, you need some Ativan. Put the sledgehammer down and step away from the chimney... oh no.

And here comes some compulsory heterosexuality 👍 I like Alana... I really do. I do not like THIS. At least it was brief, at least she was smart enough to be like “listen......... um no”

Cut to Tobias and Hannibal having an awkward murderer date. I guess romance is not in the air.

Tobias really gives ZERO FUCKS WHATSOEVER. He’s like Ima kill everybody in this state just to be dramatic I don’t even care

Will: I’m very heterosexual but I drove all the way to Hannibal’s house to work off my excess sexual tension. I don’t know why but I presume my intentions are very Straight and Not Gay.

Hannibal: why did u kiss her? I thought you and I were working our way up to a serious makeout session and I don’t appreciate- Will: in my defense I was hallucinating at the time Hannibal: (stops stirring) 

“Oh honey no.”

I still can’t figure out why Hannibal sent Will to Tobias. I guess to see if he was clever enough to not get killed????? Maybe to see if Will would murder him??? Kinda risky bro??? Especially since Will isn’t saved by his wits but by his gorram fever hallucinations. 

tbh this is pretty on-brand for TV series Hannibal, who just seems to like, do things for the fuck of it. don’t question him, he’s making tomatoes in a blood plasma suspension and power-clashing his wardrobe

WHY IS TOBIAS A NINJA. What part of learning the violin involves elaborate fight moves??? I mean, okay, but obviously I missed out as a cellist/viola player

I really enjoy watching Hannibal get beat up. Truly it is one of life’s great pleasures

Oh boy, when Will shows up, decidedly not dead, Hannibal’s crush visibly solidifies into True Love. 

look at this mess

sigh

(opens AO3, searches AU: Canon Divergence)

Body Count

Tobias: 1 set of violin strings (presumably many more offscreen), 1 repurposed trombone player, 2 police

Hannibal: 1 patient, 1 potential boyfriend

Stoned vampire one-liners:

“Like music, we are finite events, unique arrangements, sometimes harmonious, sometimes dissonant.”

“Are you still hearing this killer’s serenade behind your eyes?” "Well, It’s our song.”

# Fred Watches Hannibal