#just hearing the music makes me want to scream kneel on the floor cry

[lucrezianoin]

my favourite videogame

i miss you

[themultifandomgal]

From 2010- The First Half Of Tour

2013

Part 30

1st March- Cardiff

“Ow ow ow" I cry as Harry, Louis and Zayn are pouring their cool water bottles on my legs after I spilt my hot water, lemmon and honey on them. I sit in Harry’s baggy gym shorts so that 1 I’m in loose clothing and 2 I’m not sat in my underwear

"Bloody hell YN how did you manage that?" My dad says on the phone

"My throat feels funny and it's good for your voice. Stupidly I tried doing my makeup at the same time and knocked it over” I sniffle

“Oh YN. How bad is it?”

“Well her thighs are bright red. Almost look sunburnt” Zayn tells my dad

“It doesn’t help she spilt the drink on her jeans which made the hot water stay on her skin longer” Niall says

"Paramedics are here" Paul says walking in

"Hi YN, I'm Nelly and this is Amari. Let's take a look shall we?" Kneeling down Nelly takes a look “ok luckily it seems to just be a first degree burn. Let's apply some aloe Vera on the burn and then we can wrap it up in sterile dressing. No need to take you to hospital"

"Oh thank goodness" I hear dad on the phone

"Can I still go on stage?" I ask

"Really? You've burnt yourself YN you can't" Zayn says to me shocked

"But..?"

"If you sit down and take it easy then I don't see a problem" Amari tells me

"Are you sure you're up for it tonight?"

"Yes. I missed to many shows last tour" I reply to Paul

"Just go steady tonight YN"

"I will dad. Speak to you later" I end the phone call. We let the paramedics finish up before I have to get ready.

During the show I end up mostly sitting on a stool unless I need to move to a different part of the stage in that case I just go steady with one of the boys by my side.

22nd March- Birmingham

"I wish I could take you on tour with me” I say snuggling cookie who’s licking my face while I sit cross legged on the floor “I missed you so much”

“YN you need to put the dog down at some point, I need to get your hair done” Erin says laughing at me

“Can’t you do my hair from down here?” I joke

“If I could I would, now on to the chair” Erin pats the chair that’s in my dressing room. Groaning I get up and put Cookie down on the floor who then runs over to Emma who’s sat on my sofa

“Do you think she thinks your her owner not me?” I ask Emma sadly

“No chance dogs have a sense for this kinda thing. She knows you’re her mum and I’m the cool aunt” Emma replies

“I wish I could bring her with me”

“I know, but I’ll bring her to all of the shows I come to, promise” I give Emma a smile to say thank you while I let Erin get on with my hair.

Hello Birmingham!' I say waving to the arena "I still can't believe that this is where Liam and I would come to see concerts and here we are on our second tour!”

"What was your first concert YN?”

"I think it was the sugar babes" I reply to Liam “I remember my mum and dad taking me to an 80s concert when I was younger so maybe it was that” I shrug

“You do love your 80s songs” Zayn says smiling

“I do I do”

"Now the next song we're going to sing is one of our current favourites to perform. This is One Way Or Another" Louis shouts into his Microphone and the music starts

"One way or another I'm gonna find ya. I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya. One way, or another, I'm gonna win ya I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya" Harry sings putting his arm around my shoulders

"One way, or another, I'm gonna see ya. I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya. One day, maybe next week. I'm gonna meet ya, I'm gonna meet ya, I'll meet ya" I sing.

13th April- Sheffield

“Hello Sheffield!” Harry shouts into his microphone. The crowd all scream in reply “now today it’s someone’s birthday” the boys all then turn to look at me “and we want you to help us sing happy birthday”

“No!” I try to protest but it’s no use. The fans and boys all sing happy birthday as I see Emma bringing out a cake on stage

“Ok make a wish” Emma says, but I truly don’t know what to wish for other than Alex being here. I blow out the candles and everyone cheers. I give Emma a quick hug before she walks off stage.

14th June- Miami

“I’ve just found out that Jennifer Lawrence, Liam Hemsworth, Sam Claflin and Elizabeth Banks are here tonight” Erin says doing my hair

“How did you find that out?” I frown looking at Erin through the mirror. She digs through her back pocket then unlocks her phone. She does some scrolling then hands me her phone. On the screen is a photo of then stood in the pit chatting. The photo is captioned “guess J Law has forced the cast to see One Direction” 

“Isn’t Liam Hemsworth one of your celebrity crushes? Maybe you’ll be able to go on a date” Erin teases wiggling her eyebrows at me as she takes her phone back. I know she’s joking but part of feels like I can’t date. Sighing I close my eyes thinking of Alex

“I can’t… Alex….”

“Would want you to be happy. He’d want you to move on, maybe Liam isn’t the ‘one’ but maybe he can help you feel like you can date again”

“Your talking as if I know him and have met him Erin anyway he’s dating Miley Cyrus”

“Split up”

“I can’t keep up” I groan making Erin laugh.

By the end on the show I’m in my dressing room dripping with sweat when there’s a knock on the door. Thinking it’s just one of the boys I shout

“Come in!” not looking up I hear the door open

“Hi” that’s not one of the boys. I quickly turn around and see Jennifer Lawrence stood at my door smiling with Liam, Sam and Elizabeth behind her “I was told it was ok to come and see you. I’m sorry if we’ve disturbed you”

“No it’s ok hi” I walk over to them and hold my hand out “sorry I look a mess right now”

“Don’t be silly you look beautiful” Liam says making me blush a little. He’s a little older than I am, 23 I think he is while I’m 19

“We just wanted to come and say how good the show was. Your really talented” Elizabeth says smiling at me

“Thank you I’m glad you enjoyed the show. Have you met the others?”

“No”

“Then follow me” I say leading them towards Harry and Louis dressing room where I know all of the boys will be.

10th August- LA

“See you after the show” Liam says smiling at me before he pecks my cheek. I wasn’t planning on dating right now, but after Liam and I met we exchanged numbers then ended up going on a date. Things are just casual at the moment and we don’t plan on announcing anything anytime soon

“YN let’s go!” Harry shouts to me

“Yeah I’m coming” I shout back. I give Liam one more smile before walking towards Harry and Louis

“I can’t believe your not coming back home with us”

“Liam ask me on another date” I shrug

“Can’t say I like you both together” Harry mumbles but I clearly hear him

“Well it’s not your life H” I snap

“Don’t I know”

“What’s your problem Harry?” I step in front of him with my hands on my hips

“He’s goin to break y’heart”

“And how do you know that?” I frown

“I can jus’ tell alright” Harry then tries to brush past me

“No you don’t get to do that. Say shit like that then try and walk off”

“Woah what’s gotten into you two” Zayn says looking confused

“Liam”

“What did I do?” Liam asks just as confused

“Not you. Hemsworth. Come on we’re gonna be late” Harry walks off leaving me with the others

“He just wants what’s best for you” Zayn tries

“Harrys right we’re going to be late” I sigh.

[cressidascowper]

stay with me (cause you’re all i need)

**my gif!! please don’t repost without credit**

pairing: emily prentiss x reader

warnings: slight angst

summary: You can tell Emily wants to leave, but you want her to stay. (Takes place during 7x24 “Run”)

word count: 929

a/n: reader x character??? my first time writing this kind of fic so feedback is much appreciated :) & this fills the square “if i asked you to stay, would you?” for @sweetprentiss‘s emily prentiss’ birthday bingo!

The wedding was beautiful and just what the team needed after the emotional case they’d just had. The lights glowed, and JJ looked absolutely stunning in her white dress. If anyone asked if you’d cried during their vows, you would vehemently deny it tooth and nail.

Everything was perfect, everything except for your girlfriend.

Ever since she came back, you could tell she hadn’t been herself, and you didn’t expect her to be. But when she started to close off to you, it took a toll on you and your relationship.

You tried being supportive, giving her the space she needed, an ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on, but it didn’t take to tell that she felt suffocated.

At first, it was the little things you noticed: the way she constantly picked at her nails or the way she struggled to get through cases. It wasn’t until the house on DuPont Circle that your suspicions had been confirmed, and you knew she wanted to leave.

You smiled softly, as you watched Emily dance with Derek, Spencer’s rambling falling upon deaf ears.

“Hey, Spence,” you gently interrupt him, “you mind if I go dance with Em?”

“Of course,” he nodded understandingly. “I’m gonna go check out the snack table, maybe show Jack and Henry a couple of magic tricks.”

Shaking your hand fondly at your friend, you weaved through the dance floor over to where your girlfriend and her partner were dancing.

“You mind if I step in?” you asked Derek, resting your hand on his shoulder to catch his attention.

“Anything for you, (Y/N/N),” he smirked at you and held out Emily’s hand for you to take.

You interlaced your finger’s with Emily’s and pulled her body close to yours, and the two of you began to sway to the music.

“Hey, you,” she flashed you a smile, her breath hitting the base of your neck.

“Hi,” you shot her a smile back, earning a frown from Emily when it didn’t reach your ears.

“What’s wrong?”

You sighed, debating whether you should bring it up now, not wanting to make a scene at JJ’s night.

“Babe, just tell me,” Emily soothed as if she could read your mind.

“You want to leave don’t you,��� you whispered, the words barely escaping your mouth. It didn’t come out as a question because you knew better than that, you knew your girlfriend better than that.

“(Y/N),” she sighed, as she brought your body impossibly closer to hers, “please, let’s not do this right now.”

“Em,” you practically begged, “I need to know.”

Trying to keep your tears at bay, you buried your face into your girlfriend’s neck, savoring her comforting scent.

“Let’s go talk somewhere more private,” Emily took both your hands, leading you off the dance floor and into Rossi’s mansion.

She led you to the couch, where you sat down, as she kneeled in front of you, your hands still in hers.

“(Y/N),” Emily began, rubbing soothing circles on your knuckles with her thumbs, “I think I’m gonna take the position at Interpol.”

Hearing the revelation you knew was coming, you nodded, as tears pooled in your eyes.

“What about us?” you croaked.

“I don’t know,” she admitted, crestfallen and defeated.

You looked down at your intertwined hands, as you played with her slender fingers, and a moment of silence passed between the two of you.

“If I asked you to stay, would you?” you lifted you head up to stare into her chocolate orbs.

Emily paused and gazed deeply into your eyes, searching for something, you didn’t know what.

“Yes,” she finally answered.

This time, it was you who searched her face, and you could tell she was being serious.

You wanted to scream for her to stay, for her to stay here with the BAU, with the team, with you. You wanted to be selfish. You wanted her to stay.

But you knew better. You knew how your girlfriend had been struggled being back, practically acting as if nothing had changed. You knew she needed this, she needed to go.

You move forward to lean your forehead against hers. “I can’t do that.”

“What?” Emily’s eyes widened, concern lacing her voice.

“I can’t ask you to stay here and carry on like you have been for the past couple of months,” you explain further, as you disregard the tears streaming down your face. “Emily, I love you, whether you’re here or in London, but I just want you to be happy.”

At that point, Emily’s face was also stained with tears. “I love you, (Y/N).”

She presses her lips to yours, and you can taste her vanilla lip balm combined with the saltiness of her tears.

Kissing her with passion, you bring your hands up to delicately cup her face, taking in all of her while you can.

Once air becomes a necessity, you pull apart, a sad smile written across your face.

“For tonight,” you muster up your best serious expression, “you better stay with me.”

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Emily pecked your lips one more time before standing up and extend her hand. “One more dance before we head home?”

“One more.”

You know you’ll talk more about this later, and your heart will probably break even more. But as you follow your girlfriend back out onto the dance floor, rejoining the rest of your team, who are laughing and dancing crazily, you feel the surrounding love engulf you, and you know that any cracks in the foundation have been filled.

[dirty-brainrot]

(Are you okay?)

Ha! You thought it was a Jotaro (or Kira) x Reader that I promised? No! KONO DIAVOLO DA!

Pairing: Diavolo x reader

Today was the day. The day that everybody hated and oh so despised. The day that you tried so hard to postpone.

Chores day.

There was nothing you could do but clean up the whole house and so you did, with a gloomy mood. Starting from your bedroom to the living room, you dusted and removed any lingering trash. The more you dusted the more unbearable the silence got. So you placed the broom aside, deciding to grab your phone to blast to music to get motivated and remove the silence.

On the way to your room, you hear a scream followed by foreign (you assumed it was something italian) words that you couldn't make out of. You stopped in your tracks, confused, then you heard a loud thump. Running to your room, you slammed the door open. The cranky mood you had, disappeared and changed into confusion and anxiety.

Your eyes widen upon the first thing you see. There laid a top-less man, his torso was full with tattoos? It looked like tattoos. And he had a long pink-ish hair that has weird green blobs on it. He was tangled in your bed sheet, scared shitless as if he died over and over again. The mysterious man was still screaming in panic and wriggling around the floor, not noticing your presence. Cautiously, you approached the panicked stranger and kneeled beside him to remove the cover.

He had stopped screaming but he was still panicking. The man was breathing hard and his eyes looked like he was on the verge of crying too. "Make it stop— MAKE IT STOP!" He cried out while he held his arms up, cowering in fear.

"Stop what, sir?" You softly ask him, afraid that if you made your voice louder you would freak him out more. Slowly, he lowers his arms and latches himself to you. "Please! Make it stop!" Uncomfortable by the physical contact, you push him away. "I-I don't think I understa—" He held onto you tighter but you managed to push him off you. Scared yet concerned for the man, you bolted to your phone and grabbed it. "W-Wait!" He calls out to you but you ran into the bathroom and locked yourself in. Quickly dialing the emergency services, you hear him bang his fist on the door.

Now you were full-blown frightened. First, he appeared in your bedroom then next he screams about making something stop? Snapping out of your thoughts, you could hear the stranger start to sob. Your fingers hovered to press the call button but you hesitated as you hear his crying start to get louder.

You surely will regret this— You turned off your phone and placed it in your pockets. Nervously, you unlocked the door to see the pink-haired man crying on the floor, shaking. Your breath hitched as you felt some sort of pity for him. "U-um— hey..."

Sitting down beside him, you tentatively placed your hand on his back, he flinched and stiffens up at the contact but relaxed once you started rubbing comforting circles. "Hey, hey, it's alright. I—I think it uh... Stopped...?" His breath stabilized but he was still slightly shaking. Raising his face, he looks at you. You grimaced after getting a proper look at his face. Damn...this dude looks like a mess...

"I-It's been almost a minute now..." He wipes off his tears and you withdraw your hand from his back, thinking he was stable enough.

"HOW DARE THEY DO THAT TO AN EMPEROR! A KING!—"

"Woah, watch your mouth sir, maybe that's what got you into trouble in the first place." He immediately closed his mouth as he looks at you, baffled. He furrows his brows again and points at you, raising himself a tad bit so he towers over you. "YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING I WENT THROUGH—"

You cut his outburst again. "Listen sir, I don't know what happened but I do know it's bad but you don't have to shout." After you finished your sentence, he looks at you, his expression told him he was infuriated. The so-called "king" was about to have another outburst until he rubbed his face with his hands.

He sighs, defeated. "Do you know where I am..?" "Well, that was fast." You thought before speaking. "You're in [Country] and if you're thinking what date it is today— it's August 30, 2021." He weakly nods, before freezing. His expression darkened as he starts to panic again. "2021?!—" He rose from the floor, leaning beside the wall for balance. "Yep! 2021 and we're in a middle of a pandemic too."

He grabs your shoulder. "PANDEMIC?!" He shouts while shaking your shoulders aggressively, making you wince from the loud noise and become nauseous from the shaking. You shoved his hands off you. "Y-yes, there is a pandemic."

He sat back down and placed his hands on his head. It was silent for a while and you could only watch the man mumble and have an existential crisis. "Uh, sir—" he snaps out of his thoughts and looks at you. "Could you tell me your name and what happened?"

Looking at you with reluctance, he tells you his name. "Diavolo." You nodded then tilted your head slightly. "So like, the devil?" Ruffling his hair, he sighs and answers shortly. "Yeah."

You hummed. "So Diavolo, I'm guessing a wizard sent you to the future and probably tortured you in the process while getting transported here." He, for the first time, chuckles. "You're not far off." You opened your mouth and made an ":O" face in surprise.

He could be possibly a deranged man or he could be actually someone from an alternate reality or the past. "I don't know how to start this— I was a don of a mafia and got beaten by a 16-year-old. So now I died multiple times for punishment—" He suddenly stops, you looked at him with confusion. You heard him mumble something "crimson" and swear in Italian afterward. "You alright? Are you having another panic attack?" He grunts and shakes his head. "As I was trying to say; I was forced to die multiple times because of a kid who had a dream and his gang of brats."

You nodded and stayed silent not knowing what to say. "Oh! Uhm- I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Y/N." He leans back and nodded. Sitting upright you added, "I don't know how you got here, in my room, but I'll just believe you for now." The two of you sat in silence, not knowing what to do not say. 'At least he's calm now.' You thought.

"You're oddly calm."

"Huh?" You stare at him dumfounded. "Oh— I guess 2021 keeps getting weirder and at this point I don't even want to bother anymore."

After your response it was quiet again. Glancing at the messy bed, you had an idea. "Hey— Can you help me clean?" You look at him while nervously fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. 'Asking a stranger to help you clean? He did made a mess so...' Diavolo sighs and stands up. "I guess... But do you have any food first? The loop made me famished."

Following his actions, you stood up and gave him a small smile. "Alright! follow me, magical stranger."

Jofoe in your home series: Kars, Kira

[whereisten]

Promises

“I make no promises, I can't do golden rings, but I'll give you everything tonight”

Pairing: Mafia Leader!Jaehyun x female reader (cafe owner)

Genre: Friends to lovers au, fluff, smut and angst at the end I’m sorry :(

Warnings: shower sex, unprotected sex, slight choking kink, slight innocence/corruption kink, oral sex (male receiving), brief mention of violent attack towards the end

Word Count: 3k

((A/N: this is a short fic inspired by the song “Promises” by Calvin Harris & Sam Smith. I’ve been obsessed with it for a while now so I hope you enjoy!!!!))

——————

“Why do you always come to me when you’re bruised and beat the hell up?” You rushed you your bathroom to grab your first aid kit.

“And now, you’re bleeding all over my floor..damn it Jaehyun!”

Jaehyun only gave you a half smile as he watched you walk back and forth while flailing your arms in the air. He sat on the couch and held his stomach while breathing heavily.

“Last time I checked, I don’t have a son that’s a gang leader! Why don’t you go to your mom’s house?”

You sat down beside him with a bowl of warm water and a cloth to wipe his bloody mouth.

Jaehyun was just a man that frequented the coffee shop your worked at. He liked looking at you while he sipped his coffee at the table in the corner, you were the calmest thing his eyes saw in his chaotic world. He was quite nervous to speak to you, and as the leader of a mafia, he wasn’t sure why.

But just a few months ago, he finally mustered up the courage to speak to you.

The two of you grew relatively close. He stayed with you when you closed the cafe by yourself, making sure no creeps followed you home, but he also just wanted to talk with you.

Something about you made him feel..happy.

You weren’t like everyone else in his life, you didn’t have any experience with crime and you sure as hell didn’t want any, but despite learning about who Jaehyun really was, you still stuck around.

You didn’t push him away, you only asked that he make sure to not bring that mess in the shop. You were also interested in him.

The two of you talked about movies, music, food, virtually anything. You clicked like you had been friends for years.

Jaehyun was somewhat satisfied with being your friend, but he knew he needed more. He felt a tinge of jealousy when he watched you smile with other customers. Your eyes crinkling at the sides as you laughed. Your voice was soothing, heavenly even. In a cruel world like this, not everyone deserved to share a space with you, he thought.

Oh and the twinkle in your eyes when you got excited about perfectly baked and iced cupcakes. He loved it. He loved everything you did a little too much.

A clear sign to him that he was too far gone. But what would happen if he asked you to date him? Would you say yes or would you say no and would the friendship be ruined?

“Jaehyun...when are you gonna protect this handsome face of yours?”

You asked while delicately wiping the blood from his face away. It has trickled down his neck, covering his intimidating demon neck tattoo in the process.

Your sweet voice disrupted his thoughts as he looked back at your worried face.

You were close to him, lips just centimeters away from each other.

Should he close the distance? No, that’s creepy. And what about his hands? Can he touch your back? No, definitely creepy.

Jaehyun was a murderer and criminal, but a creep he was not.

And almost as if you hear his thoughts run wild because of your close proximity to him, you look up with those large doe eyes and lock them with his. Your chest is stuck in place, you lick your lips, but quickly shift your attention away from his eyes and look to his neck.

Your hand stops moving and Jaehyun’s mouth opens slightly as if he’s about to tell you to keep touching him.

But instead, he apologizes.

“I’m-I’m sorry for always coming to you like this..”

He sounds genuine and your heart drops at how soft his voice sounds.

“Jaehyun..can you..kiss me?” You let out quietly without actually thinking it through.

Jaehyun’s eyes widen and he moves forward without hesitation.

Your lips finally lock as the cloth slowly drops out of your hand.

Jaehyun holds you close, pressing his palm into your back while you roll your body into his, gently pushing him into the couch more.

He looked amazing in his tight black t-shirt and you had to admit, you just wanted to feel his body on yours. His eyes were always dark and tempting as they watched you, tracing over your figure whenever you reached up high for something in the bakery.

He was a typical bad boy, irresistible, sexy, and dangerous. But Jaehyun has only showed you kindness. He was a normal person, besides the life of crime he lived.

Jaehyun takes your limp and awkward arms and wraps them around his neck while you kiss. Contrary to his rough look (created by the scary tattoos and black attire he had), Jaehyun was incredibly soft, delicately pressing his fingers in your back to massage it. His mouth caressed yours slowly, passionately but still yearningly.

He closed his eyes first, turning his head so his tongue could dance with yours.

Your hands ran down his chest tenderly as the sounds of labored breathing and quiet moaning filled the apartment.

“Jaehyun..” you whisper, asking for more without actually posing the question.

You bite your lips and look at his eyes. You take his hands and intertwine your fingers with them.

He breathes heavily and watches your lips.

You bring his hands under your oversized T shirt and take in a sharp breath when you feel his cold fingers on the sensitive skin below your breasts.

Jaehyun doesn’t know if he’s lightheaded from the blood loss or the fact that he’s finally touching you.

You still hold his hands, bringing them to your breasts and moaning once you feel his large, calloused and bruised hands on you.

Your head falls back and Jaehyun immediately leans forward and lays sloppy kisses on your neck, his hands now kneading into your breasts and palming the hard tips.

Your hand reaches down to his jeans now, patting the bulge in them gently.

Jaehyun bucks into your hand on instinct and nips your neck. You cry out, but he then holds your throat, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Jaehyun nearly screams when you look down at him through your lashes. His tongues darts out over his swollen lips as he blinks rapidly. He wants to take you but the dealings of earlier have made him sweaty and dirty, and being a nasty man for you just isn’t what he wants. So he thinks of the perfect way to please you.

You’re about to question why he stopped, but then he smirks.

“Bathroom. Where’s your bathroom?”

————

Your hand flings against the light switch as your two bodies stumble into the bathroom.

Your lips are locked as Jaehyun takes and moans that you have for him. Your bodies are hot and needy, you’ve teased each other enough already and are both in need of release.

You and Jaehyun help each other strip down completely naked before getting into the shower.

Jaehyun presses you into the chilly wall of the shower, your shoulder blades feeling attacked instantly. But his luscious lips on yours make you forget the pain soon enough.

You squeeze some body wash onto your hands and coat Jaehyun’s body with it, slowly caressing his sculpted body while he groans. Your touch drives him crazy. “Fuck..” he mutters our as your hand runs over the silky skin of his pelvis, so close to his hard member, but not close enough.

The hot water decorates your bodies and only adds to the heat between the two of you. Soon the steam builds up in the bathroom and you are both taking deeper breaths between kisses.

Jaehyun returns the favor by rubbing you down with body wash all over, teasing you while watching you tremble with a smirk.

He kneels down and runs his hands up and down your thighs, slowly working their way inwards and up to your folds. His long fingers just barely touching against your bud. So close, but not close enough. You bite your lips and bring yourself closer to him but he chuckled.

“Mmm being teased isn’t nice, is it, baby?” He winks.

“If we stay any longer in this shower, you owe me half of the water bill.”

He stands up straight and chuckles. “You know me, baby, I always pay my dues.”

“Is that so? So how did you end up with those bruises, huh? You-“

Jaehyun shut you up with a kiss. Your eyes fluttered shut and you couldn’t help but smile.

He grabs your legs by the crook of the knees and wraps them around his waist before pulling away to look into your eyes. His playfulness has disappeared and you both swallow hard.

“Are you sure you want this...with me?” Jaehyun asks quietly.

You gulp and look at his neck tattoo, the one thing that constantly reminded you that he was no normal man. He wasn’t gonna be someone you could tell your parents or friends about. He wasn’t someone you could walk in the park with. He wasn’t someone you could walk down the aisle or raised kids with one day. No. He’s a gang leader. Someone that lived a life you didn’t understand. One that was just downright scary to you. And yet here he was, resting between your legs, ready to take you.

Jaehyun tried not to think too much about the doubt that he saw in your eyes when he asked if this was something that you wanted. But he knew you were conflicted. His reputation wasn’t great and you were scared, he had to understand that. You had reservations about him and unfortunately, he couldn’t promise to prove you or anyone else wrong. He couldn’t promise to be the long term partner you deserved.

Nonetheless, Jaehyun has showed you a side no one knew. He opened up to you and you opened up to him. You had more in common than you had ever expected.

You nodded.

“Fuck me, Jaehyun.” You whisper lowly.

Jaehyun smirks when the word falls out of your beautiful mouth, making him weak and even harder than he was before.

He pushes forward, teasing your entrance as he runs the tip along the folds, parting them every now and then.

You whimper, your mouth falling open as it feels incredible just to have some sort of friction against your needy pussy.

Jaehyun goes back to sucking your neck while one hand takes a fistful of hair.

His other hand pumps up and down his length as the sounds of your moans are muffled by the thunderous flow of water from the shower head.

“J-Jaehyun, please.”

Jaehyun places both hands on your thighs now, pushing into you slowly with his hard cock.

You gasp and hold onto his shoulders, your back riding up against the tiled wall as you pant.

Your heart feels like it’s stuck in your throat while Jaehyun stretches you out. He grunts and pulls back before pushing in slowly again.

“Fuck..you feel amazing.” Jaehyun’s member is comforted by your silky, tight walls closing around him with each push.

Your head falls back again and he watches your radiant skin sparkle with water drops that run down your neck and into the crevice if your breasts. It’s a beautiful sight for him and he never wants to forget it.

He then sucks hard into your neck as his speed increases. Your mouth stays open as you whimper and grip his shoulders, your nails digging into the skin.

When you looked at Jaehyun as he stares at your lips through low eyes, you feel butterflies in your stomach. His black hair plastered onto his forehead gave him a more gentle look, and his slightly parted lips were so kissable, you wanted to feel them everywhere.

But his dark eyes. Eyes of a wolf that watched his prey. You felt desired, wanted, special..

he groans as he gets closer, you can feel his dick twitch each time it enters you, and you know he is hesitant to go harder on you.

“It’s okay, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widened. “A-are you sure?” He he snaps his hips into you hard as if to give you a teaser of what’s to come.

“Yes!” You cry out at the sudden feeling of him in the base of your stomach.

And so, he continues to push into your pussy harder. A mixture of your loud moans and his grunts filling the bathroom. The tip of his cock hit your depths as he pushed all the way in, leaving your legs weak as they widened more. Your spine tingled with pleasure.

Your back becomes numb as it rubs against the wall repeatedly, but you don’t mind. Jaehyun fills you up so satisfyingly and the way his skin presses against yours just adds to the erratic feeling you have inside. He breathes hard against your shoulder as his hips snap into yours.

Jaehyun puts a hand around your neck and looks into your eyes. You immediately nod before he kisses you, biting his lip as he pulls away.

He squeezes it while you moan, your close so Jaehyun rubs circles into your bud. You ignore the aching feeling in your trembling legs and shit your eyes tightly.

“Oh fuck, Jaehyun, yes..”

He grinds into you even harder and soon you feel yourself climax, you clench around him as his grip on your throat tightens.

You cry out his name as he continues to push into your throbbing and soaking flower, but he pulls out quickly.

“On your knees.” His tone is gravelly and surprisingly demanding for the first time this evening.

But you don’t hesitate to drop your knees for him and open your mouth.

“Can I?” He tilts his head and gives you a cocky expression because he already knows your answer.

You nod and without a second to spare, Jaehyun shoves himself into your throat, immediately hitting the back of it and making you gag, but you ignore the pain and hollow your cheeks.

The water hits your sore back as Jaehyun fucks into your mouth with his hand on the back of your head.

Tears run down your cheeks, but you feel yourself become increasingly wet every time he grunts or curses. Looking up at the tattooed man above you as he slowly loses it just makes you think of all the ways you’d love to have him ruin your insides, and even though you just came, you want more.

Jaehyun can’t get enough of your wet and wide eyes. You looks so innocent and pure, yet so nasty for him as spit runs down your chin. He pushes in faster and you him to push him along.

“Oh, fuck...Swallow.” He demands once again before shooting out strings of white onto the surface of your throat. He releases everything into you then pulls out while breathing heavily.

He helps you to your feet and uses a washcloth to clean the spit and cum from your chin.

He then cleans between your legs and watches you giggle as he purposefully tickles you.

He carries you off to your bed and lays you down while smiling softly.

“Did..you like that?” Jaehyun was surprised with himself, he normally didn’t care for a girl after fucking her. He’d send them in their way whether or not they were satisfied because only he mattered. But you. He wanted you to be satisfied, more than satisfied to be exact.

Your approval meant something to him and part of him hated that.

“Yes, I did. I’m always down for another round some time.” You gave him a wink and blushed.

“It’s funny because I wanted to ask you something..” Jaehyun looked away and onto the blanket that covered your body. He felt like he was back in middle school and about to ask his crush to the dance.

You had a feeling you knew what was coming.

“Will you-?” Jaehyun was interrupted by his phone. He cursed and took it out of his pocket, his soft demeanor shifting as his expression grew irritated.

“Give me one sec.” he looked away from your look of disappointment and left your bedroom.

You couldn’t hear what he said on the phone, but you knew that he looked angry when he saw the name on the caller id.

Jaehyun hung up and walked back into the room. He started to put on his clothes in silence while you clenched your blanket and watched.

“What’s wrong, Jaehyun?” You asked so softly, Jaehyun wanted to give in and cuddle with you all night. But he couldn’t, especially not after hearing what he just heard from his henchman. Someone from his rival gang had stalked and attacked the girlfriend of one of his gang member’s.

She survived but was hurt badly in the knife attack and it just served as a reminder to him of the kind of life he lived. He couldn’t live happily. He couldn’t love someone like you and put your life in danger just for his own benefit. He had to end things now before it got too late.

“Jaehyun..were you going to ask me to be your girlfriend?”

“Girlfriend? Listen..y/n..what we did..it was great but let’s be realistic..we would never last. We’re just too different.” Jaehyun couldn’t look at you when he said this. He was just so angry with himself. How could he get so emotionally involved? How could he fall in love so easily while knowing that nothing good could come of it?

“But Jaehyun..” you started but he grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.

“I..won’t be seeing you again, y/n. I regret ever meeting you.” His brows furrowed. How could he be so mean? He had to push you away, even if it meant saying cruel and untrue things.

Your eyes started to tear up. “W-What do you mean? What’s wrong?” You jumped off the bed and walked towards him, confused as to why his mood shifted and why he was acting like this.

But you were too late. He already slammed the door shut and headed down the hallway, pacing fast towards the elevator.

[quietlyimplode]

do you take fic requests bc if you do could you do something like how in bw nat flinches when dreykov goes to hit her the first time and maybe when clint first meets her or something all she does is flinch and super submissive??

Hey Anon. Not sure if this is exactly what you’re thinking; I think there’s a strong correlation between why Natasha flinched and Dreykov being the ultimate abuser; I think that she would be able to differentiate him and Clint. I’m not sure she would have as violent reaction to someone she didn’t know, because that reaction (I think) is one borne of repeat trauma. Sooo this is a 5+1 touching on that reaction.

Warnings for: child abuse, child death, red room musings, domestic violence, child trafficking, black widow spoilers, and ptsd. (3045 words)

Forged.

.

1/

Everything is so overwhelming. There are girls screaming, men with guns. She holds on tightly to Yelena and makes her stand behind her.

The guns have lights on them and she can’t follow them all.

There’s so many people, it’s loud, and confusing and Natasha just wants to cry.

Pain only makes you stronger.

But her chest hurts. It’s a ball of panic that hasn’t gone away since Mama Melina said she was sorry.

She tries to school her face so that it’s devoid of panic; but it’s hard. Yelena is holding her hand hard.

It happens quickly.

They grab Yelena and she yells and screams for her, tries to pull her back but they hit her in the face.

Disoriented, she loses track of her sister, the pain in her heart intensifies in panic and she catches sight of blonde hair. She rips the picture in her hand, and runs over to her.

She knew it was going to happen. She didn’t think it would be like this. She thought they could stay together.

“Take it.” She yells. “Take it.” And shoves it into Yelena’s hands. She’s pulled away and so is Yelena.

She can’t help the feral noises that break free from her body.

She doesn’t cry though.

Pain only makes you stronger and she is in so, so much pain.

She’s lined up with the others and is made to step forward.

She sees him; the man from Cuba. The one Papa Alexei embraced. He walks up to her.

He smells of cigars and strong cologne and it takes everything she has to hold his gaze and not turn up her nose.

The man grabs her head, and she flinches hard against his hands. He gets closer and there’s something in her that remembers this man.

“The Red Room is your home now,” he tells her and looks her up and down, gaze lingering.

He pushes her into a line with 3 older girls and she bites the inside of her mouth as hard as she can to stop herself hyperventilating and panicking.

Pain. She reminds herself.

Pain.

.

2/

There’s four girls with her. The biggest of the guards is closest to her and three more stand over the others. Of course, they think it’s her, that she’s the ringleader. They’re not wrong, but it does make her think that she should perhaps try and stay under the radar a little more.

They’re all standing in front of Dreykov who exudes anger. She can count the number of times on her hand that she’s had to stand in front of him, this is the first time in her nightdress. She’s self conscious all at once and she crosses her arms around her body.

“Stand front!” The guard yells, gun in her face. She startles, as she drops her arms down to her sides, fists clenching.

Svetlana glances tentatively at her and she bows her head.

Dreykov hasn’t said anything and they’re all awaiting punishment. She knew she shouldn’t have smuggled in the Nutella but she was so excited about the new taste, the deliciousness of the spread that she could share.

He turns to face her and her blood runs cold.

“Kill them.” He says looking directly at her, his face curled in a snarl.

Her eyes widen and she shakes her head hard.

He laughs.

“Fine.” He looks to the other four.

“Kill her.” He says and ducks his head towards Natasha.

Svetlana is closest, the guards step back as she steps forward, intentions clear and Natasha can see the smile that plays across his face.

Sadists.

She’s old enough now to know to use the environment to protect herself as well, knows this room and, has taken stock of all the things in the room that could be used as a weapon. She assumed, of course, that they would be used against her, not that she would have to use them against the others.

The first punch comes from Odette, a kick from Sevenya, and attempted restraint from Clara and Svetlana. Natasha protects her head, trying to find an opening where she can get one of the girls between her so the other three have to go through her first.

It’s Clara that she throws on the floor in the way of Odette and she narrowly avoids a letter opener thrown at her head. It clatters for the floor and she scrambled back to pick it up. Holding it in front of her, she looks at the others. It’s not malice on their faces but fear.

Dreykov looks on in amusement and then looks at his watch.

Natasha waits for Odette to attack again. She was always the most impulsive. She spins to the side and kneels and feels the letter opener slice across her femoral artery, she knows she’s hit it when the gush of blood accompanies it.

She has no time to ponder it as she tries to pull the weapon out, Clara is on her again. Natasha kicks up catching her under her chin, the sound of skin hitting skin, her bare foot tingling. She pushes Clara back, adrenaline fading and fatigue setting in for all of them. Sloppy punches end up in hair pulling as Natasha swings her legs up and around her neck. Maybe if she knocks her out, she won’t have to do it.

“Enough.” Dreykov’s voice is clear and she detects the anger on it.

He pulls his gun and shoots Clara and Odette.

She flinches at the sound and almost vomits as she sees Clara take her last breath.

“Leave now. You have no place in the world, as such you may take nothing and have nothing. You will be searched on entry and exit.” He says, enunciating every word.

Natasha attempts a glance at the other two girls but they won’t meet her gaze. They all know what being searched means.

The bodies of Clara and Odette are dragged out one door as they leave through another.

.

3/

Natasha stretches. The apartment on the west side is sunny and she lays on the floor basking in the heat like a cat. She should get up and get something to eat, her stomach letting her know that it’s time, but this position is so relaxing and soothing that she ignores it; just for now. Closing her eyes she listens to the lull of slow paced music she put on earlier.

She given herself two days to do nothing. She’s sure that she’s off the radar and knows that her body and her mind needs rest. If only it worked that way.

Being on the run isn’t new. Being a fugitive from the red room and staying low is fine. She just needs to decide what she wants out of life; these are the bigger decisions that she’s putting on the back burner. Just for now.

The sun sets low and the slow growl of her tummy, lets her know that it’s truly time to get up; tend to herself and find the Thai place that knows her order when she walks in the door. A fact that she’s not sure she should be worried about.

Pulling on a jacket, she turns to set her own locks, and then moves to the door to lock it with her keys.

A bang, the sound of flesh hitting flesh and a yell make her flinch hard, dropping her keys to the floor. A flash of a guard and her head whipping back from a punch is almost identical to the sound she just heard, and it takes her a second to get her breathing under control. Natasha feels the hair on the back of her neck stand up, knowing the likelihood of what she’s just heard.

She’s got a choice to make.

Help, and potentially expose herself.

Do nothing, and more red on her ledger.

Bucking courage, she walks inaudibly down the hall. Locates the sound where there’s the faint sound of crying and the low rumble of a mans voice.

She knocks, loudly and confidently.

There’s silence, before the door opens ajar, and she pushes it into his face and walks in.

“Bitch what do you think you’re doin?” Comes the drawl as he follows her.

“Did you hit her?” She asks voice low and dangerous.

“What?”

“Did you, hit her?” Natasha points to the crying woman, whose face is swollen and red.

“Who do you think you are?” The man stands over Natasha and stares down at her. She cocks her head and stares back. He goes to grab her and she turns her body, grabbing his hand and twisting, making him drop to his knees.

She twists again hard, and he grunts and cries out. There’s a strong smell of cologne, the same as Dreykov and she snaps. She breaks his hand and punches him in the face. Hears the crack of fist against cheek and shouts at him.

“How dare you?” She grunts at him, standing over him. She punches him again.

“You think it makes you more of a man?”

There’s blood on her knuckles.

The woman is asking her to stop; and she’s crying harder.

Natasha knows what she’s done, she’s not upset with herself.

She squats next to the man with the broken nose and bloodshot eyes; blood spattered making for a gruesome scene. She gets close to his face.

“Nod if you can hear me.” She says. He nods; a short dip of his head.

“I will kill you if you ever touch her again.” She promises.

“I know where you live.” She nods to the mechanic jacket hanging, “I know where you work.” She stands up.

“I will be watching.”

 

4/

Clint watches Natasha playing chess against herself and holds up the takeaway.

“Come play against me,” she invites and he laughs.

“You think you can take me?” He asks.

She finally looks up to him and grins.

“Always.”

He puts the paper bag down on the stove and laughs as she sets it up again.

“I haven’t won once, doesn’t it get boring playing against me?” His eyes twinkle at her as he looks at her, both of them smiling.

Natasha opens as she always does by moving her pawn. Clint copies her move.

She’s about to make her second move when they’re interrupted by the smoke alarm chirping and a small flame coming from the paper bag on the stove.

He laughs. Says something about not knowing the stove was still warm and waves the tea towel across the smoke alarm.

It takes him a moment, but he realises she’s not joking with him. In fact.

She’s frozen.

“Natasha?”

There’s a whine and a choked noise.

“No. Nononono.” She looks at him wide eyed.

“Make it stop. Make it stop.”

He’s scrambling now.

“Please?” He looks to where she’s looking, the smoking bag, a flame.

“Make it stop.” She repeats again.

His heart drops and he finally gets the tiny flame under control, dumping it in the sink. She’s staring where it was. Eyes blank, body tight.

He moves over to her and reaches over to her.

Natasha flinches at his touch; his hands retract quickly.

“It’s ok, Natasha.”

The haunted look doesn’t leave her face but she stands and moves away.

“Yeah, it’s ok.”she repeats back.

She leaves for the bedroom and he follows her tentatively,

“Just. Give me a minute.” She requests and shuts the bathroom door.

He sits on the bed waiting for her to emerge. He stays until he hears the tap run, and the door unlock.

When she emerges she looks the same as before, face relaxed, mask on.

“You ok?” He asks, tentatively.

“Fine.” She nods.

Clint nods with her.

“What do you wanna do now?” He asks tentatively, not really knowing what to do next. The fact that she’s freaked out on him and managed to pull herself back together in the space of ten minutes is suspicious, and he feels he needs to walk on eggshells around her.

She shrugs and melts into the couch, knees to her chest.

“Wanna tell me what that was?” He ventures, sitting next to her.

“No.”

It doesn’t leave any space for probing, so he stops talking. Let’s her figure it out herself.

She uncurls herself and stands.

“Actually. I’m just going to go home.” She nods to the chess set. “Thanks for the game.”

He stands alongside her.

“You sure?” He asks, it’s not right he knows. He should keep her here, make sure she’s ok. But. They’re not there. He’s not her confidant. He’s not the one she goes to.

Natasha nods.

“Thanks.” She grabs her coat and makes for the door, passing through the threshold, pausing slightly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

By the time he reaches the door frame, she’s gone.

 

5/

Natasha has done hard things in life. She knows she has. Her whole childhood was lucky survival, and she knows it. But this. This is intentional bravery and even if she dies she knows it’s the right thing.

Being in front of him, is possibly the hardest, most confronting and perhaps masochistic move she could have taken, but given the short time frame Melina gave her, she didn’t see another way.

As he talks to her.

As he goes to touch her face.

It takes all of her not to react.

To be still.

To remember to breathe.

She asks about her mother because she can’t help it, and he tears the knife through her soul.

She wasn’t unknown. She was Natasha and all the other mothers who fought for orphaned little girls. She buries it deep, masking her face, unable to stop her eyes watering.

He makes Antonia uncover herself, and she’s ripped apart again.

Natasha carries the scars of her death on the inside. Antonia carries them on the outside.

She can’t believe what she’s hearing, seeing and wants with every once of her being to say she’s sorry. Of all the deaths she’s being responsible for, Antonia’s is the one she needs to atone for the most.

She’s alive and it’s simultaneously the best and worst thing.

Dreykov taunts her as she knew he would and sends Antonia away. It’s enough to make her mind flip back to the plan.

Finally, the opportunity to shove a gun in his face. She knows it won’t work. But the little voice inside her head thought maybe, just maybe she would be stronger than the pheromone lock. She wasn’t strong enough as a child to fight back when they took her from her bed, or when she wanted with every once of her being to protect others; but she thought maybe being separated from him, being older, grown; she wouldn’t be subjected to the same weaknesses.

She was wrong.

She can’t pull the trigger.

She can’t stab him through the heart.

And as he touches her and peels the knife from her fingers, she can feel the panic welling inside her.

She’s traipsed into the lions den, full of confidence but she’s nothing compared to science and manipulation. Despair fills every inch of her as he’s close enough to smell. The old sickly cologne that haunts her nightmares, that makes her snap into rages when she gets a whiff of it on any other man, and as it’s paired with the smell of a cigar, she’s torn back to him grabbing her face and telling her the Red Room is her home.

She is home.

She tries to outrun it but he’s going to turn her back into a mindless automaton. Not with trigger words this time. Not with pain. Or fear, or even threats. It’s all chemical. She has no choice.

Her whole body shudders in visceral pain as he gets closer to her, talking to her, saying her name.

Her voice is low as she keeps up the charade.

Sever the nerve; and it will be ok.

Sever the nerve; and he will have no control.

But.

As he raises his hand to her, she can’t do it. She flinches away and she’s so disappointed in herself. Old habits, isn’t that what they say?

She’s 10 and her eyes are black.

She’s 11 and her body knows not to bruise so easily.

She’s 12 and can take a punch easily.

Natasha bites down heavily on her cheeks drawing blood. It’s grounding. He moves away from her and mumbles something about Melina.

Control.

Control the narrative. Make him say what she needs. This is not about her.

This is not about her trauma.

She breathes heavily as he reiterates the plan to her and she tapers the panic.

Bait him.

Make him cooperate.

She can do this.

She can do hard things.

+1

The television plays and the heater whirs as Natasha sits on the big chair reading her book. She sips the sweet drink she prepared for herself and pulls the blanket up. There’s a softness about the night, and it’s built on not having any competing priorities. Not having to be anywhere the next day.

She’s alone but it’s peaceful, and allows her to mull over the words she reads.

“Being kind to yourself is the greatest kindness.” Is the quote that sticks in her head, and, as she picks up the chocolate on her left, she’s knows it’s the truth.

For once, her brain is calm and she knows the safety of this place. Clint would call it a controlled environment but she prefers to think of it as safety.

In the life of a spy, there’s no place safe enough, no turning off the low level anxiety that always follows her around, but somehow; here, she can.

She looks out the window and admires the trees atop the mountain she can see, marvels in the low fog that gathers around and has a life of its own as it moves around outside in the darkness.

There’s no light pollution, except what’s coming from inside the house.

She glances at the time, glad she made the connection, the phone call she’s expecting not breaking the peace or make her flinch at the unexpected noise permeating peace.

Natasha sets down her book and picks up her phone. One minute.

Right on cue it rings.

She smiles.

“Hey.”

.

All my fic.

[oikadori]

a/n: not me crying at 2am about an Oikawa edit, that was my twin sister not me at all...this is totally self indulgent so uhm...yeah. Hope you enjoy it tho!!

edit: i'm so sorry for reposting again but i really feel that the best exposure is int the first hours let's hope this time it stays 😔

Oikawa Tooru x fReader

Summary: in which you are tired of hearing how is never enough for Oikawa Tooru.

Genre: angst, fluffy end tho, established relationship

Now playing ⊳ King by Lauren Aquilina ; Next to me by Imagine Dragons

WC~2k

It had become part of your routine at this point, sitting on the couch for hours, staring bluntly at some program as you wait for your boyfriend to come home.

It was not the passion he has for volleyball that has you on a gloomy mood today. It was  not falling asleep on an empty bed as you heard the sounds of balls hitting the wooden floor coming from the speakers of his laptop in the living room, and it was not how  your throat becomes dry after you begged him to sleep.

But you were tired, that is the only way to express it, tired of feeling your heart clench at the way he neglects himself, at this point you didn’t even care if he neglected you, which wasn’t the case, but him.

Your phone always got texts from him, asking if you had breakfast, if you had lunch or simply saying a hello. He called you before coming home offering you to bring some sweet from that store you liked so much. But, when you asked him if he had a good lunch, those tests always seemed to get lost in his inbox.

Oikawa always gave you a smile as the same words came out of the lips that kissed you every morning.

“Don’t you want me to be the best, my love?”

That simple phrase always seemed to wrap your heart in a death cold no matter the sweetness in his tone, they made impossible for you to come with an argument that would make Oikawa’s stubborn head understand. Understand that he was slowly tearing himself up and hurting you in the process.  

However, none of that is what had you sitting on the couch right now, arms crossed over your chest and lips pressed together, but as soon as Oikawa crossed the door, he knew the exact reason.

“Y/N-chan? I thought you were going out with your friends today”, he drops the bag on the ground, the keys of your shared apartment hitting the floor in the process, “Shit”

Your eyes are trained on the way his face contorts as he reaches for the keys, making your heart sink.

“Anyways, how are you, cutie?”, Oikawa stands in his full height before displaying a closed-eye smile at you.

However, his trademark grin fades as he sees your brows furrowing together, the air suddenly charging with the accumulated tension.

“Is there something w–“

“You tell me”, when you look at his knee with inquiring eyes, Oikawa blinks before turning his face away from you.

“It is nothing”, his mouth twitches down, “I’m fine”

‘no you are not’

His answer only makes you sigh loudly as your mind goes back to the early hours of today, the scene that made your chest sting popping out.

Oikawa had kissed your forehead like every other  morning before mumbling a brief goodbye, he chuckled lightly at the way you babbled some sort of greet and  he walked to the door like every other day but he failed to notice how your eyes opened and gazed at him.

His eyes widened as he felt the burn on his right leg, not knowing you were watching in horror the way his knee falters, causing his leg to tremble before giving in to gravity. He held onto the handle tightly, gritting his teeth to capture the whine that threatened your sleep. However, when he turned around, he founded your half-closed eyes fixated on him, but before you could say anything, he rushed away hoping your mind was clouded enough with tiredness to forget about it.

“How long?”, you ask, standing up slowly and moving towards him.

“I don’t know, what–”

“When started hurting this bad?”

His gaze fixes on the ground, his fists clamp together, annoyance bubbling up in his stomach. He knows what’s coming, he has heard that discourse way too many times to not know how this conversation will go.

“Since always Y/N!”, he cries out almost in pain, his hair moving violently matching with his gestures, the gap in your mouth mirrors the shock in you.

“You need a break Tooru…”

“So they can found someone better? No, thank you”, he lets out a dry laugh as he looks down at you.

“What is the point if you end up not being able to walk without limping??!!”, your voice falters at the end as you picture him holding onto the handle for stability, “You are out of control…”

Oikawa’s nails dig into his palm as he frowns, eyes narrowing at you with dangerous intensity.

“As if you knew…” , the sharpness in his voice makes nothing but press the wound in your heart furthermore.

“Of course, I know, damn it! Tooru you are barely sleeping! I don’t know if you’re even eating properly since we almost never have any meal together!”

And then as if your words had hit the right nerve inside the setter, Oikawa snaps, the look he shoots at you makes your movements halt and your voice dissolves into silence. He was tired and frustrated but ultimately scared and the fact you couldn’t see how scared he was, only frustrates him more.

“No, you don’t know a fucking thing! I need to get better!!”

“Tooru you are their regular setter already!”, you scream at him your face getting red with anger as your tone fades into a bare whisper, “Nothing is enough for you, isn’t it?!”

Oikawa knew that the question itself wasn’t entirely related to his volleyball career. The pleading look you give him and the tremble in your lips tells him that you are not only referring to the all the medals and recognitions but about your relationship itself.

You were asking him if you weren’t enough for him…And maybe you weren’t.

“No!”, the word comes out rushed, his thoughts getting more and more clouded by frustration. You grit your teeth when Oikawa places a hand on his forehead as if he had a bad headache, as if you were the cause of the annoying hammering,

“You are so selfish…can’t you see all what you ha–”, your voice comes in low hiss and before you can finish he lets out a loud groan as the keys in his hand fly across the room landing with a loud thud against your living room table, making you flinch.

“Why can you just let me do what I have to? Is it too much for your head to understand?!”, he shouts, and you feel a sting in your chest, your eyes almost seem to fall from your face and your breath stops as you see how your boyfriend’s face contorts in malice.

“I could pick any of those girls who wait for me after the matches, you know?  I could have any of them and they wouldn’t be as half as annoying as you!”

Oikawa’s chocolate orbits are piercing at you in anticipation when he catches the redness saturating your eyes, causing his heart to drop to the ground.

“I–“

“Go, pick a nobody who only wants to fuck with you,” you try your best to not flinch, but the venom in his words make a silent tear to roll down your cheek, “because I’m not staying to watch how you destroy yourself”

You walk past him, brushing his shoulder roughly, your steps to the door are so fast, he doesn’t get a chance to even try to reach for your hand.

The slam of the door makes a feeling of anguish settle on his chest. His feet move subconsciously to the door when a loud groan leave his lips, the pain on his knee makes his whole body shiver as he falls apart a meter away of the handle.

“Shit, shit, shit”, he whines as he manages to move his body until his back is leaning against the door, his hand travels to his pocket, desperately pulling out his phone, a pout cross his features when your name pops on his recent calls. The phone rings and rings but no answer comes, when the small device turns off, he feels himself growing numb.

And the minutes turn into hours, the night wrapping the city as Oikawa rests against the door.

Oikawa had never felt this desperate, the pain in his knee is unnoticeable compared to the ache swelling in his chest. One call, one message, anything that would let him know that you are safe, that is all he needs right now.

“What did you do for her to stay with you?”, Iwaizumi’ words ring in his ears, “You are lucky Oikawa”

He was lucky indeed, his head drops to the back, hitting the wood, his breath falters as tears stream down his face until they turn into uncontrollable sobs, the sting on his knee and the guilt mixing painfully together.

Suddenly, the door pushes his body to the side, hitting the back of his head causing him to grunt.

“Tooru?”, his eyes widen, he turns immediately to encounter your still glassy eyes gazing down at him in confusion, “What are you doing on the floor?”

Your voice is stoic however it is music for Oikawa’s ears, he quickly brushes the tears away from his face as he tries to stand up, a hiss slipping his throat.

“Oh god, Tooru!”, you quickly leave the store bag you are carrying and bend down to support him, “I bought some–

“I’M SO SORRY Y/N!! I-I DIDN’T MEAN TO–“, he groans as you try to lift him up but your small figure can’t do much to move the former captain of Seijoh, so you just drop him carefully back on the floor and kneel in front of him, “P-Please don’t leave…”

Your silence makes his heartbeat pace faster and he grabs your hands tightly, his gaze fixes on yours and you notice the fear his orbits hold. You have never seen him this vulnerable and your eyes don’t fail to show your surprise.

“Please don’t leave me Y/N-chan“, your lips press softly over his own before he says anything else, Oikawa’s brows furrow together as he squeezes your hands gently, sighing, relived.

“You should get someone better–”, he says,

“You are probably right”, you sigh, “you did hurt me, but– I guess I just love you that much”, he loses himself in the softness of your voice and tears threaten to come out again.

“I truly admire how hard you work but you have to take care of yourself Tooru–“,his glassy eyes look at you, still not able to believe you’re here, next to him, you bit your lip before cupping his cheek, “–you might not be the king of volleyball yet, but for what it is worth, you’re the king to me”

You blush violently but not even as close as the flustered red that tints Oikawa’s features, he leans in hesitantly to claim your lips and you both melt in the kiss.

He never thought such words would made him feel so complete and he realizes that all he ever needed was you by his side.

“Not gonna lie, I was hoping you’d say, ‘you are the king of my heart’ or something like that”

“I-Can’t you just take the stupid compliment?”, he chuckles with a husky tone but suddenly stops, he places a hand on your cheek his thumb making soothing circles over your flushed skin.

“Thank you”

“Uh?”

“For giving me another chance”, your knees start to sore from kneeling on the floor but you can’t move as his chocolates eyes stare into your own brimming with emotion, “I love you so much, I’m so sorry Y/N”

“If so, stop overworking yourself, okay?”

Your fingers tangle with his brown locks as he whispers a silent yes, burying his face in the crook of your neck, his arms wrapping your torso tightly as if he was still scared you fade away.  

Oikawa doesn’t  have a  throne, but he’ll proudly wear the title you gave him, and he’ll do his best the be worthy of the crown that comes with it.

❀ Please reblog if you like it! ❀

Thanks for reading ♡♡♡

[dreamescapeswriting]

BTS Reaction || You’re Drunk Crying [Request]

Seokjin:

Jin tried to hold back his laughter as you started crying in the seat next to him, he knew it would be mean to laugh at you right now since you were in such a drunken state you'd begun crying over a dog you'd seen in the street.

"You know I love you right, I love you so much Jin." You whimpered as you began moving around in the backseat, he'd sat you back there so you couldn't distract him while he was driving.

"You're so perfect and kind to me. Even now! I woke you up at 5 am to come and get me and you did!" You began sobbing heavily again as you laid down on the seats, going on about how perfect Jin was. Gushing about how much you loved everything he did for you.

"This is sweet baby, you won't remember any of this though." He chuckled as he pulled into the driveway of your shared house.

"How can I forget anyone as kind as you, you're so handsome!" You squished his cheeks together as he came closer to you to help you out of the car.

"You're so fucking perfect." He hummed along with you as you began to slur on your words a little, he shook his head at you as he wrapped his arms around your body. Letting you continue to ramble at him as he carried you through to the house. All of this was only going to boost his ego and allow him to bully you in the morning.

Yoongi:

The music was blaring through the speaker next to you so Yoongi couldn't hear what you were saying to him exactly,

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" You screamed to him as he asked you to repeat yourself for the sixth time in the span of 30 seconds, he could hear you crying down the phone to him and he felt a stab in his chest at the thought of you  crying.

"I love you too baby, where are you?" He asked concerned as he looked at the time, he was in the studio so he hadn't even known about you going out tonight.

"Out with the girls! W-We went for a drink!" You hiccupped between your sentence causing him to let out a small chuckle about how cute you were when you were drunk. He was used to you crying on him whenever you got drunk, gushing about how much you loved holly or your friends but this time it was all about him.

"Are you going home soon?" He questioned as he began to pack up his own things getting ready to go home or grab you from whatever club you happened to be in.

"Soon. I-I want cuddles Yoongles. I want you to hold me." The sniffles had already started so he chuckled to himself, promising to come by and grab you if you told him what club you happened to be in that night.

Hoseok:

Hoseok grunted as he set you down on the bed, it was 3 am and you were sobbing hysterically over something Hoseok didn't understand. Tears were gushing down your cheeks as you made incoherent remarks to him about what was making you cry so much,

"Baby please tell me what's wrong." He begged, sitting in front of you only for you to grab onto his cheeks and stare into his eyes.

"You. You're what's wrong! How can someone be so full of sunshine and happiness...You're a literal angle!" He frowned as you said angle instead of what he assumed you were trying to say as "angel". He shooked his head at you as you laid back against the sheets and began to tell him how much you loved him. Crying while you gushed out all of the reasons you loved him, he teared up listening to everything you had to say about him while he got you ready for bed.

"Thank you Angle, I love you too." He teased you as you passed out in the bed, snuggling into the sheets as you breathed in the scent of Hoseok's pillow.

Namjoon:

Being away from one another was never easy but it was even harder when you got drunk and called Namjoon on skype, crying to him about something. He knew how much of an emotional drunk you were so he expected nothing less tonight only this time you surprised him. When he answered the call he expected to see you in the street crying but not this time. This time you were curled up in bed dressed in one of his hoddies crying to him.

"What's wrong baby? See a cute dog?" He questioned referencing back to the time you called him crying over a homeless man and his dog.

"My boyfriend is so fucking perfect. He gets to live his dream life! H-He's just so smart and loving-" You continued to ramble on about Namjoon as he listened to you, chuckling as he realised you probably meant to call one of your friends instead.

"Baby...Look at the screen." He whispered to you as he looked at the screen at you, as soon as you saw him you began to sink into the hoodie.

"Is this what you do when I'm gone?" He smiled as he put his writing items down and snuggled into the hotel bed, wanting to be as comfortable as you were.

Jimin:

Jimin didn't expect to walk into the kitchen and find you crying on the floor to the cat when he came downstairs. He thought you were staying at a friends place for the night so he jumped up when he heard small sniffles.

"You're on the floor baby," He cooed when he looked down to see you laid on the floor eating a slice of bread straight out of the bread bin,

"Any reason you're eating bread?" He chuckled as he sat down in front of you,

"S-Soak up the alcohol." You slurred as you handed him a half-eaten piece but he took it away from you, placing it on the counter behind his head,

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?!" You whimpered as you crawled over to him, laying down with your head resting on his thigh. Silent tears gushing down your cheeks as you began to list off the reasons you loved him.

"I look at you and I instantly feel like I'm at home like I belong somewhere." You sobbed to him as you tried to stop yourself from crying but the alcohol in your system was making you more emotional than usual.

"Come up to the bed, you can tell me how much you love me while we fall asleep." He chuckled softly as he looked down at you, your hands covering your eyes as you cried hard into them.

Taehyung:

Your friends had called Taehyung to come and get you, you were crying into one of their arms when Taehyung rushed into the bathroom to find you.

"Babe?" As soon as you heard his voice and saw his face you began to cry harder, getting up and wrapping your arms around him as you sobbed into his chest. No one had told him what was making you cry so he looked at your friend for answers,

"They mixed their drinks, they're just gushing about you." Your best friend told him as you began to mumble against Taehyung's chest about how much you loved everything he did for you, including driving out in the middle of the night to come and get you.

"I love you too baby, come on." He chuckled as he began leading you out of the bathrooms and towards the exit, trying to get you into the car as quickly as your drunken Bambi legs would allow you to go.

"you're so kind to me, most people would just leave me alone to cry." You whimpered as he sat you in the front passenger seat, leaning over to do your seatbelt up.

Jungkook:

Jungkook winced as you came bounding over to him from the small stage area, your best friend had called him when you'd gotten up to perform your seventh song of the night. All of them some big cheesy romance song which you'd devoted to your boyfriend, even though he wasn't there.

"KOOKIE!" He gripped onto you as you were about to slip and kissed your forehead, as soon as he came into contact with you though you began to sob at him, whimpering as you pushed your head into his chest.

"They've been emotional all night," Your friend whispered to Jungkook as they both began to walk you out of the small bar and over to his car which was waiting for you.

"I have not," You whimpered, Jungkook chuckled as you sat in the car. Folding your arms over your chest as you pouted at him,

"I've been expressing my love for my boyfriend." You sniffled as you stared out of the front of the window.

"You've been devoting your love for me, baby?" He chuckled starting up the engine and reaching for your hand as you continued to let out small sobs, telling him how much you appreciated everything he does for you.

Tagline: @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @fan-ati--c​ @rjsmochii​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @taestannie​ @bisexualmess007​ @innersooya​ @sw33tnight​ @sweeneyblue1​ @agustdjoon​ @jin-from-the-block​

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Over.

For those who dont know here is the link for the first part of this lil thing :3

You exhaled with a smile at seeing the new look on your apartment. It came with a generous amount of space on both living room and bedroom. Some of the Hassaikai members helped you with all the mobile and some boxes you still had to look over to put things back in order.

Humming to a song that was stuck in your head (and he wadled away wadle wadle) you kneeled on the ground to open a tiny box to start, but you soon frowned at seeing the contents of it...

It was a tiny little glass box, with a carnation safetly placed inside of it... along, it came a bit of your treasures you savored.. a pair of white yet with tiny little delicate detailsyou knrw he knew you love it; a tiny necklace, simple yet elegant, pingent of a heart attached to it; earings with the symbol of the hassaikai and others that were little white wings...

You soon took notice of the drops of tears that were falling down on your lap and inside the boz as you picked the earrings of the Hassaikai... Chisaki gave you this when you both started dating... it was the first ever gift he gave to you along with the carnation...

'I am by far one of the most normal men considering of what the society sees me... but I hope you that you have the patience to bear with me until I give you a life and a clean world to live in until there my dear.'

The words repeated on your head as sobs started to rip from your tgroat as you clenched the earing to the point they pierced your skin enough to hurt as you curped yourself on the floor in misery...

You wanted to forgive him. You wanted to forget what happened on that disgrace if a day...

But you just couldn't. You couldn't forget thhe warth yet neither that murderous gaze Kai had on you. You couldn't forget how his rough hands that usually touched you like you were made out of glass instead grabbed roughly on your arm to the point you cried in pain.

You couldn't forget how he used his quirk on you out of anger.

.

.

.

"Thank you." He muttered monotonously as he grabbed the bouquet full of roses, safetly wrapped up so it couldn't come in contact with him as he exuted the shop.

Ever since the accident, he hadn't been able to get sleep without having night terrors of the terrified look you had... the screams for him to get away from you, to not wven rouch you with a single finger...

He felt worse than the dirt his shoes collected while walking on the dirty streets of where he lived.

He stared at one single rouse out of all in the bouquet he just paid for it, sighing as he adjusted a petal that was a tad bit out of place only for him to accidentaly rip it from the poor flower.

He stopped at that, watching the petal dance while falling into the ground... his eyebrows frowned as he merely sighed after closing his eyes.

"It seems everything I do I end it up ruining it on a way or another..." he whispered to himself, lowering both arms in defeat.

In others it would be seen as childish for him to get all depressed over a simple petal falling from the bouquet... but not for him.

He was the one that was abandoned on the streets to starve; he was the one whose only brought problems more than pride to the man whose took care of him as his only son... he was the one that hurt and traumatized the one he loved over a anger tantrum...

What was wrong with him..? He though, bringing his free hand ro rub his face and sigh deepely.

Although, his ears peeked up at a sound of laughter. Your laughter. His precious angel's laughter which he hadn't heard from months... he swear he felt like crying in glee as he started to almost run towards that beautiful sound he oh missed so dearly.

What wasn't he expecting was get right in front of a scene that left his heart immediately dropping to his stomach... you were indeed laughing of course.

But in the arms of another man.

On the other side of the street he saw how the taller male bear hugged you and lifted you up off the ground and twirles you around as you squealed. Scrunching up your nose at him kissing hard on your cheek.

He slowly lowered down his hand where it held the bouquet as he stared at the scene that completely torn his insodes out as his eyes carried sadness and heartache...

Despite all of those feelings, he still found himself smiling as a tear ran down his face... it was better this way. You could have a normal life, not surrounded by body guards, not have to worry about constant magging of getting clean or sickness... having someone that could give you what you deserved...

He turned his back to walk away... but what wasn't him expecting was that you had noticed him. Walking away. You furrowed your eyebrows, and against your better judgment, you started to run toawrds him, not seing the open signal neither the car that was coming...

"Ka-Chisaki!" He heard you and let out a confused sound before turning and widening his eyes in horror and dropping the amount of flowers he had at the sign of a car coming and honking.

His feet moved before his mind could, his gloves already dissapeared as he shouted foe you or the car, he didn't know anymore, to stop.

Your eyes widened at the sound of honking and before could let out a sound you were engulfed in muscular arm, bringing you close to his chest as he almosy broke his wrist when making contact with the car and overhauling it in a question of seconds.

The screams were gone for a minute and all you could hear was your and Kai's heartbeat at top speed and his uncrotoled shorts of breath.

A half of the citizens clapped their hands while others immediately left the local as the owner of the car, a young man, finally recovered from the state of panic and got down angry yelling at both of you.

"You stupid bitch! Couldn't see a damn sign that I WAS THE ONE TO GO?! AND YOU TOO YOU DICK! You conpletely destroyed my car you asshole!" The male shouted as Kai put you back on your feet as he glared daggers at the short man.

"If a car cost more than a life so there-" the car was back in shape as soons as he destroyed "You can have it. But just for you to know I am not just an 'asshole' as you reffered me." He growled between teeh as you tensed... you knew that tone of voicw way too well...

"Pff-! Yeah whatever old man-" Chisaki grabbed the hem of the shit of the man and stared dead in his eye "H-Hey! Let go basta-"

"You're bold enough ti call the leader of the yakusa a bastard, arent you?" He growled, and the life of the brunnete seemes to fade away from his eyes as he heard those words.

Before you could say something the scared male face was brought to you as Kai growled and overhauled just a tad bit of yhe hem of his shirt to prove his point.

"This you rascal. Is not a bitch. She is a woman. One that deserves respects and was almost killed by you driving at an unforgible speed you irresponsible germ. So before I lose my patience, say your apologies. Now."

The man stuttered some apologies as your eyes widened at Chisaki before he let go of the brunnete to dall on his knees qs Kai glared at him.

"Get out of my sign before I change my kind on cutting your fingers off."

You stared dumbfounded at the zpeed the little man had to enter his car and get the hell out of thwre becore you gasped at seing Chisaki starting to walk away from you once again.

"H-Hey! Chisaki!" You called but he only stopped and crouched down "You're seriously not gonna say-" you stopped when he got up and turnes to you with a brojen face as he stared at the absolute destroyed bouquet... the majority of them were sprawled on the ground and somewere broken and petals lost and sprawled on the ground and on the street.

"I'm sorry," He mumbled as you stared confusely until he spoke on a sadder tone "Those were meant for you.." you hesitantly grabbed and stared in pity yet a tad bit of ahocked at the warmth you felt on your chest.

"You.. didn't had to." He sinply blinked at your astonished expression.

"I know. But is the least I could do." He muttered before a bit of awkward silence was in the air as you stared at the white roses in your hand, threatening to appear a smile on your lips until the man just sighed and turned midway away from you.

"Have a good afternoon." You eyes widened and before you could even mutter the words wait, he just left. Hands stuffed on his pockets and head hung low.

You furrowed your eyebrows before your eyes dropped to the ground where a mess of white petals and broken roaes were sprawled...

You buffed before looking at a meteo station and walking on the direction of your new apartment.

.

.

"You know," he heard the old male's voice ring from the door way as he tried to listen to some calm music layed on his bed and documments on hand "You could take a break now at then Chisaki, maybe some tea to help calm those nervs boy." He stopped reading for a moment as he sighed, looking at Pops unamused.

"Thank you for the offer. But I shall decline."

"Son you camt expect to just succumb into depression like that and think I would allow it." The words of the epder shocked him to some instant before he hesitantly locked eyes with grey ones "I bet you havent triies to verbally apologize to them even once, am I wrong?" Pops croased his arms as he stared at the man dressed in black.

"... try saying sorry for breaking a cup. The word itself wont make the cup return to its original form, it will still be broken." He sighed as he placed the papers on the desn after getting up "This is the same situation. Is not like I deserve or neither knows how to love someone anyway."

"So you just will accept (Y/n) to walk out, end things and be like that?" The elder gesture with his hand at Chisaki "You want to end things with the one you claimed to lo-"

"I didn't want it too, OKAY?!" he banged his fist on the desk as he droppes his head with closed eyes as Pops frowned "I didn't... I.. I cant take the thought of (Y/n) leaving me... but at the same time.." the elder widened hsi eyes at the drop of water that fell on the papers, staining a bit.

"I cant take the thought..of hurting such an angel like I did again... I wouldn't forgive myself." He spoke through teeth in hopes a sob wouldn't escaped until he felt the hand of his mentor pulling him into a firm hug.

"And you say you dont know how to love, huh?" Pops muttered with a smile whipe putting all of his force on the hug as Chisaki's tears deopped silently "Idiot boy, you are just as worth to love someone as anyone else. A mistake wont lwt you stop you if you do know you were on the wrong of it and want to be better." His hand patter the brown hair of Kai much as he did inumerous times as when he was just a child.

He pushed Kai away and sadly smirked at seeing the face of Chisaki all stained with dry tears but no traces of redness... just a broken look.

"When you act like this. Like a man. Is the times I am most proud of you, my son." His breath hitched at the male's words "i will get some herbal tea wether you want it or not. And believe me boy, things are going to get better soon or later."

"... sounds impossible." He muttered as soon as the elder left the room and closed the door.

.

.

.

It was his birthday. Tommorow was his birthday.

You frowned before inhaling sharply. It would complete almost three months since you just stopped talking with him. You were better. But you continually beated yourself up for craving that man's touch or just for hearing some word out of him.

The tiny little presents had stopped when you read a card where he apologized to seen like a stalker and would leave you alone for you to move on. One day after the day you almost got run over by a car and he had saved you and even defended your moral from that asshole that almost shitted his pants at only knowing Chisaki was from the yakusa.

You sighed... this was the first of a ever time Kai had hurted you... and this seemed like it did not only affected you. You sure was hoping for Kai to get possesive or even threatening you to come back to him like many cases you saw on the T.v. But you should have know that by now, Kai was different.

Despite how much he denied, he was a old and gentleman at heart, always looking for ways to please you through gifts since he hadn't has any form of touching in his lifetime that he didn't saw as sick...

... that was it. You had decided over fighting with yourself over three weeks by now.

You were going to give Chisaki. Your Kai Chisaki, another chance.

Packing your purse and everything you could carry on your suitcase, you locked the door of your apartment and left on destination of the house of the Shie Hassaikai.

.

.

.

The gates openes coincdentaly when a black car entered and you took the chance to sneak in. Tip toeing to your once shared bedroom and letting your things over there before you jumped with a squeal at a soind of cough.

"Is such a pleasure to have you back here my dear." You smiled at the old man's face and immediately hugged him, catching the elder in surprise before he chuckled and returned your hug "Care if I may ask why are you back out of the sudden?"

"I... I missed your son. So much." You spoke in embarrassment as the elder smiled and showed with his hand the hallway.

"I guess he is on a room reading something, go text your luck." You nodded, bowing with gratitide as you hesitantly walked and indeed found Kai sitting on a sofa, leg crossed over another as he read a book.

"'The only thing we never get enough of, is love; and the only thing we dont give enough of is also love.' Tsk... not a tad bit wrong Miller sir.." you heard your boyfriend mumbling to himself as he closed the book with a sigh to rub between hsi eyebrows.

You took careful steps while arms crosses behind your back as you looked at his hunched over form and messy dark brow hair.

"I never took you the type to read love quotes." You speak quietly, giggling at how Chisaki flinched and opened his eyes wide at seeing you just mere feet away from him "Hi."

"(Y/n)?" He spoke almost in disbelief as he stood up , hope on his eye swith a fraction of second before returning to that hollow look "What.. what brings you here?"

You rubbed your arm while taking carefull steps towards him, seeing how tense he was.

"I.. think we should at least had talked.. before all of this happened at least."

"You dont have too." He immediatly replied with a stoic look "Is all clear. And I dont take your reasons away from you. You have the right to have a life of your own." You furrowed your eyebrows and honestly being hurt by his words.

"What? So.. so you are okay with this? W-With.. is all this about us?" You pointed at the two of you as sadness overtook his features.

"... I juust know is for the best. For your happiness and safety at least. You dont have to make excuses to make me feel better. I know what I did. And believe, I regret it and hate myself with every piece of my soul."

"Well... I sure cant just pat your head and tell that 'aw baby it was nothing you want a cookie?'-" you saw how he cringed at your words and looked down at his feet "But... but I can say other things." He arched an eyebrows before his breath hitched when he felt your arma circle his chest as you rested your cheek where you could hear his heartbeat...

He stood there with hands on the air in both fear of hurring you and conoekte shock until you spoke something that completely broke him.

"I forgive you Kai... we can still be together... if you want of course."

The sobs ripped from his theoat without warning as his arms came down to gently hold you as he buries his face in your for the sake of his pride.

You felt tears of your own fall as well, staining Kai black social shirt, which he wa completely hot on it, as you clinged for dear life on him, after months finally feeling secure on his arms like you used to do...

"I'm so sorry..." he mumblex, swallowing a hiccup as he rested his chin on your head as you closed your eyes to let the tears fall.

"I know..." you mumbled before parting away from hin as you both stared at eachother until you smiled sadly as he wiped your tears away as you mirrored his actions. "Who would have thought.. a simple quirkless girl making the big bad yakusa cry like a child." You giggled as you saw the hint of tiny smirk beneath that mask.

You saw how he pushed down the said article to reveap his whole handsome face as he stares back at you.

"Should we start all over then?" You offered as his eyebrows quirked up.

"What about that guy you were talking with before... the almost acvident if you could say."

"... my friend thhat was telling me about his wedding in the next month you mean?" You asked with a tiny laugh as his face dropped in realization. "Y-You thought I was dating him?!"

"Well..." he sighed, looking away from you " You had your reasons to."

He widened his eyes at the sudden touch of your hands on his jaw and almost gasped when you pulled him to crush your lips with his... finaly registering what was happening he allowed himself to close his eyes and just... enjoy the moment.

"My jelly bean." You whispered with foreheads conected as Kai scoffed with a smile.

"Dont start with the stupid nicknames now." You smiled at him before he hesitamtly put his hands on your waist "so.. about what happened-" you shushed him gently before ppacing a more sweet kiss on his lips.

"Hush, is over now. In the past. I know you didn't meaant it, and I forgive you. Dont overthinking about it okay? Is over now my love." You nuzzled on his neck as he leg out a watery chuckle and engulfing you on his arms.

".. I guess.. I guess is over." He smiled as he closed his eyes and breathe din the svent he so desperately craved for months.

[hcrringtonshair]

See My Girl

Sam Wilson x Reader

Summary: You follow Sam & Bucky and Zemo to Madripoor to see your boyfriend after a, for you, too long time.

Word Count: 1851

Warnings: bad smut without plot, unprotected sex, dirty talk (+18 readers only please!)

A/N: I'm seriously nervous to post this. It's my first time posting smut. It's my first try! So it's kinda bad, I'm thankful for every advice from you if you tell me what I could do better! A huge thank you to@nobody-but-somebody-yet-nobody for beta reading this and making me feel confident about it! <3

Masterlist

Please reblog, like and comment! I would be forever thankful!

The crowded room was filled with music, sticky air, glasses clinking, people laughing and chatting loudly. A view down on the display of your phone, that showed a new text message, muted the loud ambiance around you. Nervous because of the unknown, dangerous place where you have followed Sam and Bucky, you empty the glass of whiskey in your hands, ignoring the burning taste of it going down your throat. You take a step away from the bar and see the people you have been waiting for.

It seemed as though the crowd split only for them as they walked through straight in your direction.

The upper class of Madripoor was curious about new faces, so their eyes followed the movements of the incomes, just like yours. Casually, your eyes ran up and down their bodies, stopping at the face of the man who came closer than the other two, “Gentlemen.” You nod to Bucky and Zemo with a polite smile before looking back at Sam who is now nearly chest to chest with you.

“Thought you wouldn’t make it. Did Sharon save you like the rumors said?”, you ask with a smirk. In the darkroom with colorful lights shooting through the air wildly, his eyes seem nearly black as he looks down on you, checking out the, for you, unusual choice of clothing.

“Would I ever fail when I have the opportunity to see my girl?” If he hadn't spoken directly into your ear, you wouldn’t be able to understand a single word of his low voice. Your eyes switch back to see only an empty space where Bucky and Zemo had stood only seconds before.

“I don’t think so. It has been a few weeks now.” You click your tongue as you look back into the eyes in front of you. The dark blue spotlights give his face contours and you couldn’t hesitate to bite your bottom lip at this view. His hands travel over your hips and waist, causing shivers to run down your spine. The world around you was far away and only you and Sam were in a bubble with up heating air.

“Bet you’re thirsty. I’ll get you a drink.” In his hands, you turn around to lean forward, resting the elbows on the glass counter, and feel Sam pressing himself against your back. A bright grin lights up your face as his fingertips trail over your ass.

Turning back with two glasses of whiskey in your hands, his hot breath hit your cheeks.

“You look damn awesome as always. Even better than I imagined.”

Even though he had emptied his glass in one go, his voice was still rough.

“How did you imagine me?”, you say as you down the glass just like he did and place it on the counter with a loud clunk.

“That‘s not important now after I saw this.” His eyes leave yours for a second to wander over your chest.

“I bet it will be even better without this.” He pulls a strap of the dress off your shoulder. Without an answer, you grab the hand that lies on you and take him with you through the party crowd.

You hear the voice of Bucky, questioning where you were about to go, but you wouldn’t stop for him. Of course, Sam keeps up with you and with fast steps, you both enter the glass stairs. Excitement is building up in your stomach and only his strong hand holding yours keeps you from falling because of your shaky legs. The heels clicking on the Marmor floor is soon the loudest noise in the empty private area of the house.

In the dim light you find the door to your room, Sharon has been nice enough to allow you to stay for a couple of nights while you were in the city. Sam hasn’t said a word since you both left the bar and you kept up with that until the door was shut.

“Damn Babygirl you know how to drive me crazy.” His hand slaps your ass loudly before he cups your face and kisses you until you are out of breath. You bite into his bottom lip and wrap your arms around his neck, causing him to grunt satisfyingly which is enough to get your pants wet.

“I’m done with waiting”, he mumbles to himself and lifts you up directly onto him. He peppers your neck with kisses, gently biting into the soft skin causing you to moan softly with your eyes shut. As he walks across the room, with you in his strong heavy arms, you feel him hardening against your already soaked underwear, letting you moan even louder.

The cold duvets make you shiver even more as he lays you down on the bed kneeling over you. “Look at you.” He continues covering your body with kisses, by trailing up your angled legs, slowly parting them. Your dress slides up your thighs, ending up on your stomach, letting Sam hum in approval by the view of your exposed lower body. With fast movements he straightens himself and you up, pulling the dress over your head leaving you only in your slip as you lay back.

“Fuck what a sight. God, I missed these.”

You weren’t able to answer properly, a satisfied sigh left your throat followed by louder moans as his hand covers your left boob and his mouth touches your right one. You rub your hot core against his thigh between your legs and he slightly laughs but doesn't stop circling your nipple with his tongue. “It’s all for you”, your breath comes out shaky when he leaves your chest to straighten up again. You look up at him, watching how he pulls off his leather jacket and pullover in swift fast movements, moaning at the sight of his bare chest making you even wetter.

“You like what you see huh?” His mouth turns into a cheeky smile as he continues to remove his belt and trousers. Pouting, you grab his hand to stop him and guide them to your panties, and let him slip inside. You both moan in satisfaction as his tender fingers move between your folds.

“Who made you that wet baby? Tell me.”

Distracted by his moving fingers you lift your back, previously pressed to the bed, into his touch. “You”, more moans fill the room as he easily slips inside of you. “Only you make me this wet Sam. Only thinking about you makes my pussy this wet.” You cry out in frustration as he leaves you and leans back to pull off your panties before throwing them across the room.

“Right.”

He starts trailing kisses down your uplifted leg, which he still holds in one hand, before burying his face in between your thigh.

His tongue touches your throbbing folds, slowly licking up all the juices making you scream out in pleasure before one finger enters you again.

He growls against your pussy while continuing licking and the vibrations let you start to grind against his mouth. As he adds a second finger your hands shoot up, covering your boobs massaging them and you stare at the top of his head.

Fascinated by the view, stitches form in your stomach, slowly building up your orgasm as he flicks his tongue right. “Oh god- fuck Sammy I’m so close, I-“ He fastens the pace of his fingers pumping in and out of you, so do you with your hips moving against them. “C’mon let go babygirl. Cum for me.” His head goes up far enough for him to look at your face.

His eyes lock with yours make you reach your high and under his intoxicating gaze, you come hard.

You shut your eyes as the orgasm rushes over you, accompanied by high-pitched moans and whimpers. He continues to lick over your sensitive skin, cleaning it up before lifting himself up reaching out for you. Your mouth meets his and you taste yourself on his lips.

“You are delicious baby.”

Giggling at his words you help him pull his trousers and underwear down his legs, before enclosing his cock with one hand, gently starting to stroke it, feeling him pulsate in your grip. You continue pumping him, stitch breaths leaving his mouth while he nibbles on your earlobe, biting into your neck. “If you don’t stop I’ll make a mess right in your hand baby.”

You gave him a kiss, “Maybe that’s what I want.” He giggles against your cheek but stops abruptly, surprised by you rolling over him.

“Later baby. First I want to fill you up.” You gulp at his words, feeling your core heating up again. With a single move, you are under him again, watching him on his knees lining up between your legs. “I need you to be inside me, Sam”, you whine as he takes his time to give himself a few strokes, smiling at your inpatient behavior. “I will be, I will be stretching out that pussy so good.” With those words he rubs his tip against you, making you squirm under him.

You gasp in pleasure as he enters you completely, only letting you seconds to adjust. “Fuck!” You both breathe out at the same moment as he starts thrusting into you. With both hands, he holds you into place at your hips. Your nails dig into the bedsheets as you lift one leg to give him more space. “Damn you’re so beautiful. That feels fucking amazing.”

His husky voice let you shiver as you moan as an answer, feeling his thumb circling on your clitoris.

“Sam faster, please. Oh my-“ He paces up before you finish and you see stars, your view goes black under all the pleasure that is rushing through your body. His fast deep thrusts accompany heavy breaths, his skin slapping onto yours makes you nearly pass out.

“Shit I’m close.”

“I’m too. God damn fill me up, baby.”

He bites his bottom lip while frowning, concentrating on keeping up the pace as his thrusts were becoming sloppier and hit the right spot. He lets out a deep growl and you feel his cum shooting inside of you and you reach your own climax.

“That’s it. You do so well coming all over my cock.” He leans down on you, placing little kisses on your mouth. Both of you, out of breath you stay like this for a short time, leaning your forehead against one another.

“God I love you babygirl.”

“I love you, Sam.” You whine shortly as he leaves you, making you feel empty. He lies down beside you, wrapping both arms around you and you lean your head against his chest.

“You okay?”

“I’m feeling awesome.”

He slightly laughs into your hair, brushing over it as he hums an unknown melody.

“How much time do we have?”

“I have to be with the others in a few hours. Let’s say until sunrise.”

Frustrated, you look up into his eyes before starting to grin.

“So then don’t make yourself too comfortable. You only have limited time to make me cum again.”

[tenthgrove]

Yandere Prompt Event: Poly La Squadra with 24, 223 and 242

24: “Can’t you see? The world is a scary and dangerous place. If you stay here, you’ll be safe. In my arms.” 223: “Why are you crying? Who hurt you? I’ll bash their skulls in.” 242: “Where do you think you’re going dressed like that? Your body is for my eyes only.”

Cw for attempted date rape (not by a character)

In any other place, a crash as loud as the one you just heard in the adjoining house would be cause for concern, but not here. You’re entirely used to this sort of thing from La Squadra.

You continue picking out your jacket for the evening as someone, your best guess is Formaggio, scrambles to their feet on the other side of the wall. You chuckle a little as you hear the pained ‘I’m fine,” resonate through the building followed by a few frantic questions from Pesci to make sure this is really the case.

Truth be told, you don’t know where your odd neighbours La Squadra got their nickname from, though with their close, laddish behaviour, you suppose it’s not a surprise. You asked once and Illuso said it’s because they’re a hit squad for the mafia, which you found to be a right good laugh.

Accessories selected, you grab your bag and make your way to the front door. Your days have been good lately, and a night on the town should do you wonderfully in such a mood, especially when your date for the evening is such a good looker. As you step into the street, you catch sight of Illuso on his front porch with a drinking glass. He clicks his tongue as he eyes you.

“Where do you think you’re going dressed like that? Your body is for our eyes only,” he calls out mockingly. You start and turn to him, ready to rebuke such a rude comment when a voice louder than yours shouts down from the top floor.

“I BEG YOUR PARDON?” Gelato yells from his bedroom. Sorbet comes to his side, looking down at Illuso with an equal amount of fury. “WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO THEM?”

“Alright, alright. It’s just a joke,” Illuso defends himself. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“So? Apologise,” Sorbet demands. Illuso grumbles but complies.

“See? That wasn’t hard was it?” Gelato jeers him. “Sorry about him (y/n). Hope you have a nice night.”

“You too!” You call up to them. “See you!”

Sorbet shuts the window and you continue on your way, not wanting to say another word to Illuso after such an unpleasant encounter. All said, despite your overall good standing with La Squadra, this isn’t the first time one of them has said something… oddly possessive, for a person who is meant to be no more than your friend. You try to blame it on the alcohol. Surely there can’t be something the squad isn’t telling you. No, that would just be baseless suspicion.

::::::::::::

The club is very much alive as you walk up to the front door. You’ve been here a few times, a fan of the music and the eccentric revellers. You’re sure tonight will go just as smoothly, and you’re excited to meet your date. So far, you’ve only spoken online.

You catch sight of three familiar faces swaying out the front. It’s Melone, Ghiaccio and Formaggio, the latter of whom looks barely conscious as he sways on the others’ arms. You rush over to check on them.

“Is he okay?” you ask.

“Fine. Just shit-drunk,” Ghiaccio sighs. “We’re taking him home.”

“Didn’t you leave after I did? How is he this drunk already?”

“He was drinking at home, but it wasn’t clear how much until he got here. Anyway, we don’t want him puking anyway, so we’ll be taking our leave. Hope you enjoy yourself darling!” Melone bids you.

“Wait, you aren’t actually going in there are you?” Ghiaccio criticises. “This place is dangerous as fuck, you really shouldn’t be in there alone.”

“Let them have their fun Ghia,” Melone maintains. “I’m sure they’ll be just fine.”

“Oh trust me, I will be. Surely if this place were that dangerous it would have shut by now,” you reckon. “Anyway, nice bumping into you, see you later!” you tell them, heading off to the door.

Melone waves, then, unseen to you, pulls out his phone.

“Risotto? Yes, it’s Melone. The emails right, they’re in the club. I was going to go in to see who their date was, but with Formaggio in this state we won’t even get past the bouncers. If you could take our place, it would be much appreciated.”

::::::::::::

Are you even awake? You can’t be sure when your body is so light and heavy at the same time. How do you feel so drunk when all you had was half the drink your date bought you. At least he��s here, letting you lean on him as he takes you out to wherever this is. He’s been so nice to you all night, buying you that drink and… oh. You need to get out of here.

“Excuse me?” you slur. “I’m gonna go back inside. Don’t worry about me, I can call-”

“No, no, it’s fine,” your date says, his grip around your waste tightening. “Just a little further.”

“No, I’m not going with you!” you insist, trying to break away. The man utters something profane and attempts to lift you up. You thrash, but in such a weakened state, what hope do you have?

You’re utterly without defence.

“STOP RIGHT THERE!” A voice yells from behind. Are the drugs messing with your hearing? Because a voice that deep could only be-

“Risotto! Get (y/n) out of the way! I’m going to handle this bastard!” A second voice shouts. That’s Prosciutto! Why the hell are those two of all people in a place like this.

There’s a brief struggle before you find yourself in a pair of arms distinctly warmer than the last. Risotto hoists you up against his chest and carries you several steps back, safe from the fight about to begin between Prosciutto and your attacker.

From what you don’t know, your attacker lets out an ear-wrenching scream.

“Risotto, what’s he doing?” you ask weakly. You’re starting to cry from fear and confusion.

“Hush, don’t worry about it,” Risotto says. He turns around and holds your face against his chest so you cannot see at all. There’s more screaming, all of it your former date’s. Then, when it is weakened to a whimper, a gunshot.

Prosciutto steps over to join you.

“Why are you crying? Did anyone else hurt you? Who hurt you? I’ll bash their skulls in.”

“They aren’t hurt,” Risotto assures him. “Just frightened, it isn’t surprising.”

You cannot bring yourself to respond, just slipping down further in Risotto’s embrace as your remaining strength gives out. Risotto kneels with you to keep you in his arms.

“If I knew this would happen I never would have let them out of that damn house,” Prosciutto gripes.

“Likewise. The risks are getting greater. As syndicate control in this area grows stronger, the thugs are becoming more brazen,” Risotto agrees. He looks down at you sobbing in his arms, and wipes a tear from your cheek.

“Prosciutto?” Risotto says.

“Mm?”

“It’s time. There’s no other way to protect them.”

You look up.

“What? What do you mean? What do you-”

Your voice is cut off into a muffled panic as your face is pushed against Risotto’s shoulder, arms pinned behind your back and bound with rope.

“Wait! What are you doing! Ris- Pros- I-”

“Shh,” Risotto calms you, hoisting you over his shoulder and leading you to the car at the end of the alleyway. “Can’t you see? The world is a scary and dangerous place. If you stay here, you’ll be safe. In my arms.”

[missymurphy1985]

Nobody's Perfect (part10)

Warnings - mentions of baby loss / smut

Taglist @queenshelby @margoo0 @being-worthy @peakyscillian @ntmynouis @janelongxox @elenavampire21 @noctvrnalmoth @ysmmsy @cloudofdisney @lauren-raines-x @namelesslosers

The following days of filming were tense to say the least. Helen had tried talking to Cillian but refused. He also refused to come back to your room, having booked himself his own in a different hotel. You'd tried talking to him onset but he kept his distance from you as much as possible, having arranged with Steve to push back his scenes with you until a later date. Steve hadn't asked questions, fortunately.

You had the weekend off, and had planned for the two of you to spend it with your sister and her husband in Liverpool. As you were packing your bag on the Friday afternoon, you heard your hotel door open. Turning round, you saw Cillian, bag over his shoulder.

"Hey..." You almost whispered, choking up at the sight of him. He looked like he hadn't slept for days.

"Hey. Listen - " you stopped him.

"No, you listen. I never should have said those things Cillian.. I never should have shouted at you. I never should have shut you out.. I just didn't know what to say! All the hurt, and pain.. just bottled up inside me and I couldn't keep it in any longer.. being Clara again, knowing she was having a baby, it broke my heart... I'm sorry.. I'm so fucking sorry..." He put his bag on the floor and took you in his arms, holding you as you cried for the first time in front of him. You could feel his body shake as he cried too. Months of pain and anguish came crashing out of you both as you sunk to the floor together. He hadn't realised he'd left the door open, and Helen rushed in to you in a panic, finding you kneeling on the floor together in pieces and wrapped her arms round you both, shutting the door so as not to alert anyone else. You both fell into her, as she calmed you both and stood you up.

"Now listen to me, both of you. No one deserves what you're going through, no one.. but I can't watch you both destroy yourselves over it any longer. What are your plans this weekend?" You wiped your eyes and told her you were going to your sisters for the weekend.

"Well you better let me call her, because you're not going." You both looked at her, confused. "Here's my keys. This is my and Damien's holiday home in the Lake District. Completely private, no neighbours for miles. It's yours for the weekend. Fully kitted out, groceries already bought. The girls and I have it all taken care of."

"But my sister - "

"Will understand when I call her and explain what's happening. We have every weekend off now, you can go to your sisters next weekend?" You looked at Cillian and he smiled.

"Maybe it's not such a bad idea y/n?"

"Your sister's the one I met at the premiere, right? Tall, blond, drinks like a fish?" You laughed, remembering how well Helen and your sister had got on that night doing tequila slammers and dancing like maniacs to the Macarena. "It's only about an hour away from here. If you leave now, you'll be there in time to watch the sun set over the hills. Turn your phone's off, and reconnect. Talk. And change the sheets before you leave." She smirked, before Cillian pulled her close for a hug.

"Love you Helen. You always know what to do..."

"Aunt Pol knows everything. Give me your sisters number y/n and get out of here!"

Hand in hand, you walked into the cottage and instantly blown away. It was simply beautiful. Rustic yet elegant, olde worlde yet stylish.. it screamed Helen McCrory and you both loved it. Setting your bags in the living room, Cillian made his way over to the record player in the corner and chose a record he knew you loved. Putting it on, he held out his hand. You giggled, taking it, as he pulled you close, swaying with you to the music. No words exchanged, they weren't needed.

As the song drew to a close, he lifted your chin up and leaned in, his lips meeting yours for the first time in nearly a week. Your arms pulled him closer, as your tongues met, and he slowly pushed you over to the sofa. You pulled his jacket off his shoulders before he lifted your t-shirt over your head, puling back to admire you. Reaching behind you, unclasping your bra with one hand, his eyes and hands roamed slowly over your chest and shoulders like it was the first time he'd ever seen or felt them.

He slowly unbuttoned your jeans, letting them fall to the floor along with your underwear. As you stood completely bare in front of him, you felt slightly self-conscious, and covered yourself a little.

"Don't. Let me look at you. You're beautiful, don't you know that?"

"I haven't felt it for a while."

"And that's my fault. Let me make you feel beautiful?" You nodded as he guided you to the bedroom down the hall. Walking in, you both saw rose petals over the fresh bedsheets, as well as a bottle of champagne on ice with two glasses.

"They went all out didn't they?" You smiled as he lay you down onto the bed. His lips carefully caressed over your neck, down your collarbone and over your breasts as you arched your back at his touch, sending tingles down your spine.

He kissed over your belly, down to your hips, and parted your legs slowly. He blew softly against your core, making you shudder, as his tongue lapped from the bottom up to your clit, circling it gently. You were panting now, desperate for release. His fingers brushed over your thighs and into your groin, before easing two fingers inside you, sliding in effortlessly as if they were made for this purpose alone. His mouth was torture on you, you could feel your orgasm building.

"Please... Cillian..." You begged, raising your hips to meet his tongue. He responded perfectly - upping the pressure and speed of his tongue as he drove you over the edge, you came crying his name. With one more gentle kiss to your clit, he stood up, once again admiring you silently. You sat up and pulled at the zipper on his jeans. Pulling them down with his boxer shorts and taking his hard cock in your hand. Giving it a few gentle pumps, watching his mouth fall open slightly, you smirked as your mouth took him in, he gasped when he felt the back of your throat. Licking up the shaft and over the head, you swallowed him down again, his hand on the back of your head, pulling the pony tail out so he could grip your hair. You groaned into his cock, feeling it twitch in your mouth as he pulled your hair, you could hear him groaning above you, spurring you on.

"Y/n.. I'm gonna come..." You bobbed your mouth faster, and felt him cum deep down your throat, swallowing every drop down.

"Fuck woman... Your mouth is incredible..." He pushed you back onto the bed and lined himself up against you.

For a man over 40, he had the libido of a 25 year old around you, it wasn't long until he was ready to go again.

Pushing you back, he lined himself up against your entrance and pushed in slowly, savouring each second feeling you clench your muscles around him.

"Missed this.." you gasped as he bottomed out, and he kissed you again, moving his hips back and forth easily. A steady rhythm, his forehead against yours as you breathed heavily against each other, looking into each others eyes. Your legs wrapped around his body as high as you could get them, he hooked one of your knees up with his elbow and thrust a little harder, sending you spiralling again. A few more strokes and you came together, you held him tight against you until he'd softened completely, not wanting to let him go.

You'd talked most of the night about everything, in-between more love-making and drawing pleasurable moans from each other, before falling asleep finally around 2am. The following morning, you were making him breakfast in the large kitchen area when he came through wearing his boxer shorts and stood watching you from the doorway.

"You know, I was gonna head to Ireland last night before Helen came in," he confessed.

"I know. I saw the plane ticket on our online banking app. I thought you were leaving me..."

"No, I just needed space. But now I know it isn't space I need, it's you. Only you. I'm sorry I've put you through this y/n..." You turned the hob down and made your way over to him, linking your body against his.

"You know I've never once blamed you, for any of this? I thought we were a team?"

"We are, but you're not the one who's infertile y/n."

"WE are going through this - not ME. We. We have one more round of IVF to go, and if that doesn't work then we'll work it out - okay?"

"I'm worried you'll end up leaving me.."

"Shut up Murphy for the love of God!" You laughed slapping his chest. "Nothing would make me leave you, okay? I could have 100 babies with anyone, but I want one with YOU, and only you. No more talk of leaving, deal?" You booped your nose against his and grinned.

"Deal."

[guqin-and-flute]

Holding Me Holding You--Ch. 5

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3] [Chapter 4]

[Ao3 Link]

[This should be the last one of heavy, unabating angstiness--next chapter should the comfort part, finally. If all goes according to plan 😬 But we are mostly through the woods! TW: Dissociative state, mild (dream) unreality, Emetophobia warning--nonexplicit, starts at 'it threatens to curl him over', just lasts for that paragraph line.]

Wangji is wasting away in front of him--like their mother, like their father. It strikes Xichen as he carried his brother back in his arms, blood seeping into rain soaked robes. Wangji remains glazed while he is brought into the bright chaos of his own home, filled with two panicking young boys and the small cadre of confused night guards that had been brought running by their cries. 

Even when the doctor he summons rebandages Wangji's wounds and talks seriously over his body about infection and spiritual energy and scars. Even while A-Fu keeps sobbing and sobbing, wild and lost against Xichen's chest as he mechanically apologizes and apologizes and holds him. Even as they coax Wangji's son from out of the corner where he is cowering from the noise in feverish half-consciousness, Wangji is glassy and unseeing, eyes fixed on the door. As if uncomprehending. As if he doesn't understand how any of this has happened. 

Xichen doesn't understand either. He can't identify when the decay began.

He just knows that he has seen that look on his father, staring into nothing in the dimness of the Hanshi. Has seen it on his mother, near the end that he hadn’t known was the end. Has seen it on countless cultivators lying broken on the battlefield as they bled out.

Death. The end.

Xichen is losing him, as he had lost them. This was never supposed to happen again. He had promised himself he would be better next time. He knows Wangji better than anyone else. He should have done more.

The horrid crimson of Wangji’s wounds flash in the dressing of his back. The sound the strikes had made against his flesh echoes in Xichen’s ears.

He should have done less.

When the other adults leave, finally, the glances that they cast behind themselves are shaken and dubious. The Twin Jades of Lan, soaked and blood smeared and hollow eyed. Fallen so far.

What is jade?

Xichen is shivering and staring at the same blank, white wall as Wangji. A-Yuan has been taken to sleep in the infirmary in a medicated stupor that is supposed to keep his temperature down where the doctors can closely observe him. Wangji is not aware enough to know that he is gone.

 A-Fu refuses to sleep at all, now that he has stopped crying. He digs through one of Wangji’s potted plants and there is just not enough left of Xichen to stop him. Any time he moves, A-Fu’s head whips around to find him, dark gaze intense and panicked. Afraid he’s being left alone again.

He has done nothing but make the boy suffer. Cry.

What is jade? Jade is peerless. Valuable. 

Rain is thundering on the roof. The world has narrowed to this room.

It's wrong to attend to business and leave Wangji. Xichen can't abandon him again. He will stay here. He will let the world burn in penance for how it has failed his brother. 

It's wrong to stay and leave his post unattended. He cannot be selfish. The pain of Wangji's punishment is right to rest heavy on Xichen's shoulders as well, sharing the burden for his part in every crime against the cultivation world and the Lan. He cannot be his father and abandon his duty.

These truths somehow occupy the same reality, one he is unsure whether he himself occupies, right now. Rule number 1,276: Do not be of two minds. Broken.  

A-Fu tips the pot with a dull clank, flopping down with a surprised, “Oof.” Dark dirt spills over his feet. Wangji doesn't blink, staring sightlessly.

It is wrong to inflict the fallout of his inadequacy on this poor orphaned boy. His cowardice. This is irrefutable, singular truth.

Jade is noble. Jade is flawless.

Unbreakable.

When Wangji cannot find it in himself, Xichen can be jade enough for the both of them; for A-Fu, for all the Lan. Unbreakable. 

He will do what is right. 

Tomorrow.

A-Fu tracks dirt over, toddling and crawling until he pulls himself upright on Xichen’s sleeves. Little muddy handprints. His cheeks are blotchy. He garbles something. Xichen can only catch, "Wanna."

Words are...hard. Harder than they should be. So Xichen pulls Liebing from his sleeve. Wangji's drying, bloody handprint glares from its translucent skin from where he had tossed it aside. He plays, winding, low, and slow. 

A-Fu sinks down to squat, blinking slowly, fists still wound in Xichen's sleeves. 

A minute later, his eyelids flicker. Then, he tips himself over and lays his head on Xichen's thigh, glassy eyes hooded. 

He does not let go.

When Xichen pauses for a breath, the boy mumbles, “Again." So he plays songs of healing, of calming, stirs the sluggish sparks of energy through his meridians, for Wangji and A-Fu.

Wangji lets out an almost imperceptible sigh. Closes his empty eyes.

Good.

The music buzzes in his lips, under his lungs, methodical and numbing--meditative.

Until there is an overbright wringing in his core, flashing out through his meridians like wildfire. The note shrills up piercingly and chokes off. Blood spurts over his tongue, past his lips. Bright and iron-sour--ringing and burning and surging--

 He at least has the presence of mind to lean forward, avoiding A-Fu.

He stares at the scarlet splat on the rug by his knee. Feels a single drip from his nose make its way over his lips, down his chin. Overstrained. Qi mismanagement. 

Get a hold of yourself . 

A breath.

A breath.

Quelling. Controlling. 

Slowly, he wipes his face on his damp sleeve. Rule 783: Do not begrime your clothing without just cause. Broken.

He watches the stain sink, into his sleeve, into the rug, absorbed down into the weave of the fabric, drunk up until it’s indistinguishable from Wangji’s slowly browning next to it. Meditates on that. The abstract form of his emptiness blurring at the edges. Liebing is warm in his hand.

Wangji is asleep. A-Fu is asleep.

If Xichen dreams, he doesn't remember it.

When the sun rises, he unfolds from his post and bundles A-Fu into his blanket. He checks Wangji’s breathing (rough), his wounds (oozing), the acupuncture needles (still set). Takes his wrist and loses himself in his pulse. It’s there, bumping up against his fingertips, the nudging nose of a persistent minnow. I’m here. I’m here. I’m here.

Stay .

He calls for a guard to ensure Wangji cannot leave on his own again. He carries A-Fu back to the Hanshi. Sends instructions back with the disciple that brings them breakfast.

A-Fu insists on clambering into his lap as they eat. Xichen’s mouth is too dry to taste any of the food. He feeds A-Fu with hands shaking so badly, he spills half of it down the boy's robes--but doesn't seem to mind. In fact, he slushes it gleefully across the tabletop.

Xichen barely feels human. 

Then let me be jade.

Something displeases A-Fu about bathing, today, and he angrily tries to shove all the water out of the washing tub in a fit of toddler pique, scowling and hollering nonsensically. Soapy water splats to the floor and Xichen’s chest and lap when he thrashes. 

Xichen lays his forehead on his soaked arms on the edge of the tub and closes his eyes for a moment. Just a moment.

When he is changing his own twice-soaked and bloody clothes, he hears quick little, unsteady feet slaps come around the privacy screen. Then, "Owie." 

He turns. "Owie," the boy insists and raises a hand, eyes fixed on Xichen's back.  Numbly, he turns to the mirror. Finds long, purpling bruises crisscrossing across his shoulder blades and back. It's probably from hitting the shelves in the storage room.

 They don't hurt. Sometime in the night, his body has moved somewhat to the left of himself and sensations are...distant. It is a sign of how he has neglected his cultivation that they have not healed, yet.

“A-niang kissit?” 

Xichen shakes his head, mutely. A-Fu seems to consider this, brows furrowing in thought. Then, “ A-Fu kissit,” he decides, resolutely.

There is a pressure beginning somewhere in Xichen’s chest. Squeezing. 

He kneels down. The kisses are applied by A-Fu kissing his own palm and clumsily smearing them on like a healer’s balm to his shoulder. Xichen accepts them without protest.

When they are both presentable, Xichen takes the child by the hand and lets him totter beside him through the wet and misty grass, lets him pull up a clump of flowers out in the front garden of the Hanshi, lets him take the time to marvel at all the shiny facets of the rocks on the path, marvel at a crawling beetle. For when they come into sight of the temporary orphanage, A-Fu freezes, then scrambles to try to climb his leg. “Up! Up, p’ease!"

Xichen can’t move. When clinging doesn't work, A-Fu collapses like a hamstrung deer, dangling from his hand. And begins to plead.

"No p'ease! No p’ease! Nonono!"

The women have received instructions, sent from the disciple who had brought them breakfast, and they are ready this time. Two come out with sympathetic faces and words. They coax and coo and reason as they pick A-Fu up. Peel his little fingers from Xichen’s sleeve as he clutches and screams wildly, "Nooo!! Ahhhh!! Nooooo !!!" 

Jade. Cold. Flawless. 

Tiny, wickedly sharp nails rake down his hand, scrabbling. 

"A-Huan, you are the eldest. You need to set a good example for A-Zhan. That's enough, now, you're too old for this. Collect yourself. When you are like this, he gets uneasy and unruly. Come, now, show him how it's done. Deep breath."

That pressure is growing. 

Jade. He is jade.

The boy abandons words, just shrieks of raw sound as they carry him away. Echoing off the trees. Reaching back for him.

"Huan-er, don't cry, you have to go with shufu. Oh, I know, I know, I don't want you to go either. I'll see you in a month! Next month-- don't cry, I'll see you then. Don't cry, Huan-er, please don't cry--"

It's for the best. It's for the best. It's...

He looks so scared.

Wangji screams Wei Wuxian's name. He hears it from halfway across the battlefield, despite the din. Hooks in his soul…he is so afraid--

The door shuts. The screams muffle.

And Xichen is left standing alone on the grass. He feels nothing but that intense, crushing pressure. It threatens to curl him over. He makes it to the tree line before he throws up bile. Barely.

A crack. A flaw.

Rule 589; Do not be ill mannered.

He coughs. Breathes. 

Rule 712; Be strict with yourself

He does not know how long it is until Uncle finds him there shaking. “Who is making so much noise?” There is a silence when Xichen doesn’t respond right away--he can’t. He just can’t. A hand comes, squeezes his shoulder. “Are you well?”

He just shakes his head. He should be asking after Uncle’s health. Reassuring him. He should be….

“Xichen. You help no one if you do not rest properly.” Uncle’s voice is low and persuasive--gentle.

He is failing. 

Uncle moves closer, presses the back of his cool hand to Xichen’s forehead, then sets his fingers on the pulse in his wrist. That alien pressure squeezes Xichen’s throat until it’s choking him. 

“You cannot go on like this. I will head things until you have collected yourself. Go. Sleep.” 

It is familiar command that draws him up by puppet strings to standing straight, to bowing woodenly. 

“Look at me.”

Xichen does. His uncle looks the same as he ever has, save hints of darker circles beneath his eyes, the skin thin and bruised. His severe expression holds concern and disapproval and a glimmer of something that looks like fear. “You mustn’t do this,” he says with insistent force. “Your people are looking to you and you mustn’t allow yourself to do this. You are to return to the Hanshi and sleep until you wake naturally and then you are to meditate until you are fully within your own control. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, shufu, ” he says, hoarsely. He has failed in his every duty in every way. He is...He is….

Uncle regards him with growing consternation, his mouth tightening. “What on earth is the matter, Xichen?”

Everything. Everything I have done and have not. “I….Wangji.”

Deep lines appear beside Uncle’s nose, his lips whiten and his jaw works. Rage. Grief. Betrayal. Regret. “Wangji is experiencing the consequences of his actions,” he says, stiffly. “He was given ample time and ample guidance and yet he throws it all back in the face of the Clan who has raised him.” His nostrils flare as he glares down the mountain. “How are his wounds.”

Xichen’s breath is tight and burning, as if he is crying, but he’s not. He’s shaking. He’s empty. “...Will you not go to him?” He whispers.

Pain and anger flicker. “I will not. There is work to be done. He is in the doctor’s hands.”

Xichen bows wordlessly. 

And disobeys. 

He returns to Wangji’s home, down the mountain on locked kneed legs. The house smells of char and hemostatic and antiseptic and rain. It burns his nose. Wangji is pale and haggard and alone, somehow rendered small in his own bed by his bandages. Xichen rinses his mouth, sheds his boots and his guan and crawls up to collapse next to him, as he had when they were small and Wangji couldn’t sleep. Just like then, he finds one of Wangji’s lax hands and wraps it in his own.

You have me. I’m not leaving you.

Leaving. The memory of A-Fu’s screams tighten his gut and his throat until he is sure he will vomit again. However, the sound of his mother’s voice soothes it away. “How is he doing?”

When he opens his eyes, he finds her kneeling beside the bed, stroking Wangji’s hair with concern. Sitting up, he scrubs a hand over his face and offers her a weak smile. “ Niang, you should be asleep. Don’t worry, I have him.”

Wangji sleeps, his face turned away, back rising and falling.

Their mother stands and rounds the bed, taking Xichen’s face in her warm, dry hands and kissing his forehead, right over the cloud pendant of his headband. “I know you do, Huan-er. You are the best gege anyone could ask for. Don’t you think you should be sleeping?” She teased, tweaking his nose. 

“I’m not tired.” And he wasn’t, just very curiously heavy. Every movement of his head seemed to take twice as long, every movement of his hand twice as much effort. “I shouldn’t be sleeping anyway. I need….” 

“Oh?”

The words were escaping, jumbling up like mush, and he frowns politely. “Hm.”

“Yes?” 

Looking up into her face, he finds it round and sweet and familiar with glittering mischief in her eyes, waiting with a small smile. “I can’t...think of it.” It doesn’t bother him particularly, not truly--a minor frustration--but moisture buds in his eyes like pebbles of rain. Xichen blinks in surprise and wipes them with the back of his hand.

“Oh no, save those!” His mother gasps in alarm, searching about for something. “No, you need those, don’t, Huan-er!” 

“I’m sorry,” he says, her frantic energy seeping into his chest. He tries to breathe deeply, to center his qi, to close his eyes, but they will not recede, threatening to spill over. “I’m trying, I don’t...I’m not….”

“It’s alright, love, but quickly, try to remember--who was the last person to have them?”

As hard as he can, he tries, fumbling for the memory. “Was it...was it A-Yao? Or Da-ge….” He remembers them holding something, something warm, something familiar. 

“Oh, that sounds right. Here,” she has produced a piece of white silk, though the long ends have been dipped in blood. She hurriedly dabs at his eyes. “Mind your robes.” 

“Yes, a- niang, ” he replies dutifully, taking it and soaking up all the tears into the fabric before they fall, holding the blood away from him as she beams down at him.

“Perfect boy. Do you remember properly, now?”

“I think it was A-Yao. I think...I think it was when I ran….”

Her dark eyebrows rise and she pets over his hair--it’s so light that he can barely feel it at all. “That long?”

“I’m not quite sure….” 

She sighs, shakes her head. “Wangji needs them, remember, love.”

“Of course,” he says, though he can’t quite remember why. He knows that it’s true, though. “More than I do.”

“Exactly. You have to be strong. He’s so much younger.”

Xichen smiles and takes the fabric away to inspect his progress. Only half of it is soaked and the tears have diminished to just hazing his vision. He feels abstractly proud. “Oh, well, he’s grown since you’ve--” When he looks up, the room is empty.

But reality is seeping in the edges with cold fingers, the feeling of waking from a dream. She has been gone from here for a while. He can feel it. He is alone and has been for a while. How long has he been talking to himself? 

 When he stands, slowly, weighted by rocks, he is in his mother’s home, in the center of the dark floor, surrounded by a layer of dust, cleared of furniture. The lanterns are all cold and wickless, the windows stuck shut. It is dim, the air thick and stale on his tongue. Had he decided to stay here? He can’t remember.

A deep unease threads through his chest. He cannot stay here. He knows the rules. He cannot be away too long. 

When he steps forward, he realizes the door is so much further than he had initially thought and with each step, it seems to fade. When he reaches it, it is a smooth, impenetrable wall and no matter how many times he moves around the edges of the room, it does not reappear. 

Did they leave him? Would they be back? 

...Did he do this?

He opens his mouth to call for help when--

Raw sound crashes over him, bolting him up in bed. His breath is heaving, icy adrenaline rushing through his veins. It’s pitch black and smells wrong. Rain hisses over the roof, but the windows and door are in the wrong places and for a moment--is he in--was it--

Silent strobes light Wangji’s room as bright as day. Weak relief trickles through him, even as the thunder immediately follows with a boom of wall shaking fury. Not the Jingshi. The middle of the night, with Wangji. Safe.

Another flash, overlapped by another boom that makes him jump, even though he had been expecting it. The storm must be directly over them on the mountain from the strength and instantaneousness of the thunder. Through the dimness, he peers down at his brother, heart still hammering. He seems to have remained motionless in his needle-assisted unconsciousness despite the noise. As the tail end of this last salvo grumbles away, Xichen’s adrenaline slowly bleeds away as well, leaving him watery and exhausted, even as his breath and heart still speed. Laying back, he stares at the bruised shadows lashing in the ceiling in bright purple flashes and finds himself hoping--though he has no right--that across the Cloud Recesses, A-Fu isn’t afraid.

[cafedanslanuit]

[ k i n k t o b e r ]  d a y   3    -   masterlist

↪ character: shinsou hitoshi [boku no hero academia]

↪ tags/warnings: +18, female!reader, slight sub!reader, college!au, daddy kink, spanking.

↪ a/n: thanks for the daddy kink suggestion @shinsousdecaffeinatedsalad​ ✨

“Can’t hear you, princess” he says, as he pulls your ponytail tighter, making a whimper escape from your mouth. His cock is grazing your entrance and even if you can’t see him, you can almost hear the proud smirk on his face. You open your mouth, but a loud smack on your ass makes you moan again, burying your face deeper into the mattress.

A few hours ago, you had been at a party downtown, in a small apartment on the fifth floor of an old building. The music wasn’t really good and your friends had already bailed on you, so you decided to have a smoke on the roof. You had found Shinsou sitting there, holding a bottle of whiskey and appreciating the view from the top. Sitting next to him, you shared your cigarettes and he shared his alcohol, falling into casual conversation fast. You had been friends with each other for a couple of years now, so you were glad you had found him to have someone to spend time with. The alcohol quickly made your tongue loose, the topic of sex inevitably making an appereance into the conversation.

“What are you into, ‘Toshi?”

“What kind of question is that?” he asked, a smirk on his face.

“C’mon, you know what I mean. What do you like to do when you’re having sex?” you insisted.

“Still don’t know what you mean,” he shrugged, even though his playful eyes gave him out. “Maybe if you gave me an example I’d understand.”

You rolled your eyes and huffed, grabbing the bottle from him and taking another swig. “You’re the worst. But okay, okay,” you stretched your back and licked your lips. “I guess I like… spanking?” you said, your voice a little doubtful. You paid attention to his facial expression, but he didn’t seem to change it.

“I’m listening,” he just said, putting the cigarette on his lips again.

“Okay, so… spanking and… I don’t know, I guess someone being in control?” you laughed softly, feeling your cheeks burning from both the conversation and the alcohol in your veins. “I think that’s really hot, someone telling you what to do.”

“Thought you were class president, didn’t picture you liking being told what to do,” Shinsou smirked.

“Maybe that’s why. No one really confronts me ever, so when someone manages to impose their authority… it’s hot,” you mentioned, pursing your lips. You looked over at your friend and nudged his shoulder with yours. “Now, what do you like?”

You should have known how the night would end by the way Shinshou’s eyes set on you in that moment. The mix of hunger and excitement in his eyes captivated you immediately, not realizing how close both your faces were before he spoke.

“I guess I like pleasing,” he whispered against your lips. You felt your breath against his, the smell of alcohol and nicotine making you dizzy. Your eyes went from his eyes to his lips, and hours later you wouldn’t remember who made the first move. What you did remember was heavily making out on the roof and then scrambling down the stairs to go to the nearest motel available.

“We’re just friends, right?” you said as soon as you entered the motel room while Shinsou locked the door behind you. 

“You’re my friend. And you’re also really hot, so why…” he said in a low voice, starting to unbutton the front of your dress, “do you find it so hard to believe that I want to please you?” he asked, his classic smirk back on his face.

Your dress slid down your shoulders, revealing your black underwear underneath. Shinsou took a look at your body before stepping closer to you.

“You want someone in control?” he asked, his hand sliding up your waist, your breasts and finally reaching the back of your neck. Without notice, he grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked you forward. You immediately let out a small moan, making him smirk. “I can do that”.

“You still haven’t told me what you like in bed,” you reminded Shinsou as you started to undress him. Without letting go of your hair, he pulled you closer and whispered something in your ear.

Half an hour later, his words still linger on your mind as he teases his cock against your core. You are kneeling on the bed, face flushed against the mattress and your whole body shaking at how good he is making you feel. Every time you had mentioned your desire of being on the submissive side, your ex partners had either disregarded your requests or tried and miserably failed at them. But now, even before he has fucked you, he has you begging for him with a curve so deep on your back, the only thing holding you up is his hand holding your hair.

“I said I can’t hear you,” he says, and pushes the tip of his cock inside, the stretch making your hips instinctively push back. As a response, Shinsou smacks his hand on your ass again and pulls himself out of you.

“P-please…” you whimper in a broken voice. “Please,” you beg again, your hands crumpling the cheap sheets sprawled on the mattress.

“Please what?” he insists, giving your hair a sharp tug, the pleasure quickly travelling between your thighs.

“Fuck me, please. Daddy, please,” you moan, and you feel his cock on your entrance once again.

“Was that so hard, princess?” he asks, pushing himself inside slow. You don’t miss the way he grunts as he does so, and you wonder why hadn’t you thought about doing this before. Shinsou pulls your hair again, your head bending backwards and he starts to thrust inside of you. He feels thick inside your walls, but you had never had someone filling you up this good before. You can’t stop the moans coming out of your mouth, broken words and empty pleas mixed with pleasure.

He smacks your ass again and you cry out. Shinsou stops for a second but then immediately starts again, increasing the speed of his thrusts.

“You really like that, don’t you?” he says, even though he knows you can barely talk. “Felt you squeezing me so fucking hard. You like when I hit your ass, princess?” he asks and spanks you again, your knees trembling. He lets go of your hair and your head falls to the mattress, nwo both his hands grabbing your hips and he fucks you.

“Daddy, more… Fuck--,” you groan. “Please, daddy, spank me, I--”. You don’t have to ask again for him to smack his hand one, two, three times more. “Yes, yes, fuck,” you whimper, burying your face on the mattress.

“Whose cock is making you cry that much, huh?” Shinsou asks in a teasing tone. His right hand travels to your front, easily finding your clits and stimulating it with his index and middle fingers. You almost feel ashamed when your knees give out and your body falls limp on the bed. Instead of holding you back up again, Shinsou repositions himself, kneeling on both sides of your hips and keeps ramming inside of you.

“Yours-- daddy, your cock, fuck-- You’re fucking me so good-- I-- Daddy, you’re so good to me,” you moan. Shinsou’s thrusts become faster, erratic, and the low grunts he’s making are music to your ears. His hand is still trapped under your body and he wastes no time to keep rubbing your clit. “Daddy, fuck-- yes!”

“Such a good little girl,” Shinsou groans. He pulls himself almost all out to then push himself back in, making you see stars. He picks up his fast pace again, for both his hips and his hands and you feel drool coming out of your mouth.

“More, I… I’m so close, fuck, don’t stop. Daddy, don’t stop, please,” you beg, and Shinsou maintains his rhythm. A few seconds later, you scream as you reach your peak, the orgasm hitting you harder than ever before. Had you always seen colours after orgasming? You weren’t sure. As he helps you ride it out, you hear him grunt your name, and immediately after, the known feeling of twitching inside of you lets you know he’s come too.

For the first time, it takes a long time for you to come back to your senses, your body too drowned in ecstasy to know what’s happening around you. A few moments later, you open your eyes groggily and see Shinsou laying by your side on his back, his chest rising up and down as he tries to regain his breath. You crack a small smile and sigh.

“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” you whisper. He turns his head at you and then breaks into a laugh.

[coffeechangbeanie]

Home Reading 18+

Dilf!Chan, biker!chan, kindergarten teacher!reader

Basically Chris' daughter is in your kindergarten class, and you've been simping whenever he pulls up on his motorbike to pick her up. Plus he's tattooed because I have n e e d s ok? There's a bit of pussy slapping and dirty talk but it's pretty vanilla.

__________________________________

You were standing outside the school, making sure your kindergarten class stayed in line. As the bus pulled up to the side if the road, your kindergarten assistant took her line of bus kids to that side of the parking lot, giving you a lovely view of the parent parking lot. Especially one parent in particular. You composed yourself as you saw Mr. Bang pull up in his motorcycle, his daughter, Yuna, excitedly jumped up and down, accidentally hitting another girl. The girl starts to cry, hitting Yuna back. Hiding your annoyance, you knelt down to Yuna, "Yuna, remember, keep control of your hands." Yuna sheepishly nods. "And Suzie we know not to hit our friends back-"

"Ms. Yn?" A deep voice says behind you, interupting your teacher speech.

You turn around, standing up to see Chris.

His black leather jacket hangs off his shoulders exposing just enough of the head of his surpent tattoo on his neck for you to wonder how far the snake went down his body.

"Ah, Mr. Bang, did you get my email?"

"yes I did, where are we having this impromptu parent teacher meeting?" He says, adjusting his helmet under his arm, a much smaller, sparkly pink one tucked inside.

You see your assistant coming back up the sidewalk. "Right now if ms. Chaeyoung wouldnt mind taking over."

"of course! Go have your meeting," she says, taking your clipboard from you.

You lead the way back inside to you classroom.

The room's walls are lined with students drawings, crafts, and pictures. A whiteboard with the day's letter still up.

"Mr. Bang, today marks the 3rd week her home reading isn't done. In class she's unfocused, hyperactive, and disruptive, I'd like to work with you so we can help her succeed."

Chris rubs his eyes defeatedly, "it's been a tough few weeks, I'll get on the home reading and speak to her about her behaviour."

"thank you, Mr. Bang."

He nods, awkwardly leaving your classroom. You watch him exit the building from the window. Happily picking up Yuna and putting on her helmet for her. He carries her out the his bike as she sits atop his shoulders. You can't help but smile at the cuteness.

It had been a few weeks since your meeting with Chris about Yuna, but you couldn't get the thought of him out if your head. (Not that you could normally, but it was especially bad lately). You know you shouldn't be thinking about one if your student's parent that way but you'd never seen a ring in his finger and Yuna never talked about her mom on the "draw your family" art project...

You were out walking your dog through the playground, the late afternoon sun hanging low in the sky. You hear children giggle as they played.

"Ms. yn!" You look up to see Felix, a parent of another of your students, sitting in a park bench next to Chris. You do a double take when you catch a blush rising up his cheeks.

"Mr. Lee, Mr. Bang," you say, your dog preoccupied with a smell under the bench, "lovely evening for the park innit?"

Felix checks his watch, "speaking of, it's almost dinner time."

"tell your wife I say 'hi'" Chris calls after Felix who's helping his little girl pack up her toys.

"always do!" Felix calls back.

Chris laughs. It's such a genuine laugh, almost like a giggle.

You found yourself fascinated with the sound.

"something on my face?"

You snap out if your daze, "sorry, I just wasn't expecting your laugh to sound like that," you try to laugh away the awkwardness.

It seems to work as Chris relaxes his shoulders, loosening up. He laughs again. The sight of his crinkled eyes as he looks at you makes your heart swell.

"I know it's rather sudden," Chris inhaled sharply, "but would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow? Yuna's having a sleepover at Felix's since it's a Friday-"

"I'd love to!" You cut off his rambling.

"really!?" He asks excitedly with wide eyes.

"yeah I thought you'd never ask," you laugh, "is 7 o'clock a good time?"

"I'll see you then," he says, grinning from ear to ear.

You walk up a set of concrete steps, seeing Chris' bike on the drive as you approach the front door.

The door opens before you have a chance to raise your hand to knock.

Chris looks stunningly sifistocated in his white button up and black jeans, hair styled curly as he invites you inside. He asks to take your coat, more than happy to show off your backless red dress.

"wow," he breaths, taking in the sight.

You smile, "you don't look half bad yourself."

He has a classy dinner already laid in on his dinning room table.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't find a table cloth."

"I don't mind at all," you say, smiling at Yuna's drawings etched into the wood.

Chris pulls out a chair for you, you sit down, thanking him. From this angle you have a good view into an office. You notice a stack of books and recording equipment piled on a desk

"what's the books for?" You ask.

"hm? Oh! Just my university stuff," he says, serving you.

"what are you studying?"

"music production, because I hate working so low down in the company."

You listen to him talk about his degree, how he's been studying for his finals the last few weeks, his job now and Yuna. He fills you in on all the adorable, sweet, and cheeky things his little girl has done. You see the sparkle in his eyes and can't help but reciprocate, she really is a sweet kid.

You find him fascinating in everyway. But your mind wanders a bit, he is also irresistibly sexy with his dark curls in his eyes and shirt showing a bit too much skin. The fact that you're sitting across from him now is enought to make your core wet.

"-sorry I don't mean to talk so much, I just rarely get the chance to have adult conversations, you know living with a 5 year old and what not- and here I go again rambling." He sheepishly resumes eating his dinner.

"not at all! I love listening to you!"

"really?"

"yeah," you say, a bit too breathy.

"that's good," he says staring at your lips. You hadn't realized you'd been biting your bottom one. You decide to bite the bullet instead and press your foot to his crotch. His body goes pliant in his chair for a moment before he silently puts his fork down.

He looks at you, searching your gaze before a dark lustful look comes over him.

He picks up his fork again, "the bedroom is the last room on the left hallway," he says, finishing his last bite of food.

Youve hardly processed his sentence when he speaks again.

"Did you hear me baby girl?"

You nod rapidly, standing up with weak knees going down the hallway.

You find the bedroom. You're inside for less than a second when Chris pushes you against his bedroom wall, kissing you deeply.

"How about you strip for me, let me see how much you want me." He's hardly finished his sentence when you're pulling off your clothes. You struggle to get out of your dress in your eagerness, eventually draping it over a nearby chair, kneeling on the floor, looking up eagerly at him.

"no bra," he breaths, his eyes fucking you.

Chris takes his sweet time unbuttoning his shirt. You can't help but ogle at the sight. Your eyes find the serpent, following it down his chest, the end of its tail still tucked behind his black jeans.

Chris continues the show, slowly dropping his pants and stepping out of them.

So it ends at his knee. You think to yourself.

You can see his leaking dick pressed painful hard against his underwear. Your mouth waters at the sight.

"close your mouth, darling. You'll catch flies." He grins, voice like silk.

"maybe you should close my mouth for me," you test.

He smirks, running the pad of his thumb against your bottom lip.

You take that as permission to pull his boxers down.

"you gonna be a good girl and take all my cock?" He asks smugly.

You nod, stroking his length, leaving kitten licks on his tip.

Chris groans, "feels so good, Yn."

You take his whole length into his mouth, taking him by surprise. he accidentally bucks his hips into your warm mouth.

He moans seeing you choke on his cock for a second.

Chris mumbles an apology as he rest his hand in your hair, feeling the way you bob your head up and down on his thick length.

You bask in his elicit moans, feeling smug knowing you're the one on your knees for him, not any of your co-workers or single moms. You.

He suddenly pulls your head off him. You whine in response. Chris guides you back to your feet, pulling your body against his.

"that was fun baby girl, but now it's your turn," he whispers into your neck, his hard-on dripping against your thigh.

Chris picks you up, tossing you effortlessly on the bed, he kisses down your neck to your boobs, giving each a gentle squeeze before continuing his ministrations down your body. He gives special attention to your thighs, avoiding where you want him most. You catch his drift.

"please Chris, please touch my pussy" you whine.

Chris moans, "such a dirty girl."

"please," you whine again.

Chris lightly brushes his fingers over your womanhood, just barely missing your clit.

You groan in annoyance.

"touch me harder, Chris please!"

He lands a harsh but not painful slap on your dripping cunt. You moan, gripping his bicep as a wave of pleasure hits you.

"like that, baby girl?"

You nod rapidly.

Chris kisses your pussy lips, before slapping you again, you don't have time recover when he lands a third.

Chris presses his tongue against your clit. You watch his eyes flutter closed as he eats you out like he didn't just finish dinner.

He inserts 2 fingers, making you scream in pleasure.

He pistons his fingers in and out of your soaked heat while sucking harshly on your clit.

It quickly becomes too much, you come on his fingers with a moan of his name

Chris doesn't stop, he slows down while you ride out your orgasm but picks up the pace when you start squirming.

After your third orgasm, pulls his fingers out, you whine in protest.

"I can't take it anymore," he groans, whipping a drawer open and cracking a fresh box of condoms.

You watch his fingers, still slick with your come open the wrapper.

"first time using one of these," he nervously giggles when he catches your gaze.

You take the condom from him, sliding it down his thick length. His erection twitching in your hand.

You sense the anxiety in the air.

You lay on your back, pulling him on-top.

"fuck me Chris," you moan.

He groans as he guides his dick in you.

You moan when he bottoms out.

He starts off slow, letting you feel all of his length. As he gains confidence, he quickens his pace until you're screaming his name.

He slows his thrusts just long enough to make you squirm before his hips resume pistoning in you. The pleasure knocking the wind out of you.

"feels so good, Chris," you moan, tangling a hand in his hair. Your other hand moving down his back, feeling his back muscles flex with every jerk of his hips.

"fuck Yn, I'm going to come."

You've lost the ability to speak, responding only by moaning.

You both come at the same time, feeling him relax onto you.

After a moment of heavy breathing and gentle kisses later, Chris pulls out. He throws out the condom standing up. He pulls one of his clean black tees over your exhausted form. He tucks you into bed with him.

"that was amazing, Yn, thank you."

"you're very welcome, I thoroughly enjoyed myself," you chime. Chris giggles, his thumb rubbing circles on your thigh.

You laugh, burying your head into the crook of his neck.

He wraps his arms around you as you trace his snake tattoo from his neck down to his side to his leg.

He pulls you into a gentle but passionate kiss, your hands finding purchase on his shoulders.

"can I ask a question, Chris?" You ask between kisses.

"shoot."

"what happened to Yuna's mom?"

Chris took a deep breath, you cringed at yourself for letting curiousity get the better of you.

"she was a fling in my senior year of high school, when she got pregnant and didn't want the baby, I said I'd take her. Yuna's never met her mom."

"I didn't know, I'm so sorry."

"don't be." He smiled, "I think you'd make a much better mom for her."

"really?"

"if that's what you want!" Chris rushed, realizing what he just said.

"that is what I want," you say, kissing his lips.

"does that mean you'll do her home reading for me?"

You laugh, nodding.

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

Ugh I feel like this is trash lmao I tried. Ive volunteered in kindergarten before so I tried to make the dialogue work but idk if it did, I wrote this instead of sleeping. It's also been a very long time since I've written in "novel" format since I'm practicing screenplays rn oof so I'm sorry if this sucks. Please leave a comment if you enjoyed! And thank you to @lovebini for the giggling suggestion!

-Elle

[minachuuu]

Voices I Can’t Run Away From

❣Voices I Can’t Run Away From❣

First one for 2021! This request was so interesting to write guys. I really hope you enjoy it❤

❤ AU: DreamCatcher (Fem!) 8th Member

❤ Genre: Angst

❤ Word Count: 5.3k

❤ Song Suggestions: BOCA by DreamCatcher and Leave Out All the Rest by Linkin Park

❤ TW: Harassment, bullying, suicide especulation.

Day 1

Please make them shut up. Please.

I’m already way too far away, why do I still hear them? They only yell at me to get out of the band, there’s one too many people in there. The walls around me paint themselves in all the words that are written about me all over the internet, talentless, a nuisance, not enough. I already know that. But I was trying, I swear I was trying. 

Now nobody will have to see my face again, I promise. But please make them shut up.

There was something wrong, a new comeback meant being able to see Insomnias, play in variety shows, performing on stage, all those things you really loved. But not this time, this time it was only you, staring at your broken reflection in the car window, wondering how the hell would the makeup artist was going to cover your swollen red eyes. Your dehydrated throat itched, and you had a water bottle within reach but you couldn’t see the point. 

It didn’t matter how much you tried, how much you put yourself in practices until late at night. The truth was you were put late into the group, maybe it was that you were too young, but no amount of practice would be enough to put yourself on the level of professionalism and skill of your group mates. And there were people especially eager to remind you of that every day. 

Across the chats on VLives, on fancams, even posts on Weverse to the point where you just ignored the app completely. As quick as the new comeback video was up, comments were already written, ‘Dreamcatcher is only 7, not 8’, ‘Y/n is not on the level of the rest, I don’t even know how they could dare put a rookie in an already established group.’ You knew that, you questioned that yourself since the very first moment they announced you as the 8th member.

The car came to a stop that made you exit your thoughts, coming to the realization that you were already parked outside of the Music Bank’s building. You put on your hoodie, placing your mask over your nose and picking up Siyeon’s bucket hat, thankful that she had left it in the back seat on her last ride. You tried covering as much as you could with your hair and clothes, so hopefully no one could see what a disaster you were. 

“Y/n, it’s kind of hot outside,” JiU caught you trying to cover your entire self when she turned around to check on everybody. “Are you sure you-”

“I’m okay Unnie.” You cut her off, zipping the hoodie up as you placed the hood on top of your hat.

The rest of the girls in the van looked at each other concerned. They knew about the comments and even if you told them everyday that you were okay, they weren’t oblivious to how much you showed you weren’t.

One by one exited the car, being received by excited fansites taking their pictures. You halted at the sight of so many people between the entrance to the building and the van, your hands quivering as you felt your insides trembling. A warm hand touched your shoulder from behind, making you startled. You turned around to be received with Handong’s sweet smile and comforting eyes.

“Let’s go together,” She offered her hand as she exited the van before you. “Let’s be quick, the sun is hitting terribly today!”

Taking a deep sigh, you jumped out of the van with the help of your older member, feeling glad for all the layers on your outfit that prevented anyone from getting a clear sight of you. Your eyes refused to get away from the floor, while the members took their formation around you, blocking the view from you even further. Only then you dared looking up, catching a glimpse of the only fansite that you knew. She smiled at you gently, her eyes furrowing in concern. You offered her back a shy salute before lowering your sight again, keeping it on the floor as you kept walking.

Your ears were packed with cheers and screams of the people surrounding the entrance, making you a little uneasy. You wished you had put your airpods on, but at least this time wasn’t as bad as the last music show were-

“Dreamcatcher is seven!” You heard a scream coming out of the crowds. You had talked too soon. The shout was repeated from another side of the crowd, and then another time. Your eyes started stinging, your sight crystallizing while you felt Handong’s hand tighten her grip around yours. Yubin took your other hand in hers as everyone sped up their footsteps.

The managers around the group started herding the people away from the entrance, and in a few seconds, you found yourself inside, as the glass doors shut closed with your entire team following now inside the building. The shouts were muted in the distance, behind the doors. But not in your head. Those same people were going to watch you perform anyway, what was the point in hiding them.

Your team started heading towards the green room corresponding to your group, there was nothing else to do but follow them, but you were stopped when a hand took your wrist. You snapped free of the hand in defense, to then realize SuA was standing there, shocked. 

“Y/n…” Only a whisper was able to come out of her mouth, with the other girls closing in on you. Your mind was already overwhelming you so much, and your member trying to gloss it all over was not helping either. You turned around, evading their gaze and catching up with the team. 

You slouched over the couch, turning on your phone and playing some music once you found your airpods. One by one, the members entered the greenroom and you could feel their stare on you, but you tried drowning all sound from the outside. You used every ounce of energy left in your body from your badly spent nights on trying to contain the tears in your eyes, and you didn’t exactly pinpoint when, but as you leaned down on the couch, your consciousness floated away and you fell asleep.

Just like rewinding a tape, your mind took care of replaying the screams in your nightmares, getting louder and closer each second. The shouts closing in, forcing you between four walls made of glass that kept narrowing around you. You wanted to scream for help, but no sound came out of your mouth. The breath of the screams was so close you could feel it in the back of your neck, rattling your hair. A chill went down your spine as you hugged your knees close to your face to fit in the claustrophobic space. The strong sound of glass shattering welcomed silence, as you lifted your crying eyes. Your members all stood in a line in front of you. But there was something off about them. First it was Gahyeon, she opened her mouth but her voice didn’t sound like… her. You crawled towards them, trying to listen better.

“I was the maknae before you,” The bizarre Gahyeon screamed at you. “I am so much more deserving of that title!”

“Gahyeon Unnie-” You whispered, bringing your hands up to your mouth in shock.

“Your voice ain’t even that good,” Bizarre Yoohyeon screeched next. “How dare you think you could be at our level!”

One by one started launching these things at you, repeating them over, and over and over. That’s when you recognized them. All the comments you swore you had forgotten that you read on the comments sections. Or were they? What if this was the way your members really felt about you? What if...

“Oh, Y/n...” Bizarre JiU kneeled before you, an eerie smirk appearing on her face as her hand reached for your chin. “Everything Dreamcatcher could have been…”

“IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU!” All the girls shouted in unison, launching your body backwards.

You snapped up from the couch, your breathing heavy as if a thousand pounds pressed against your chest, your eyes were flooding with tears as your hands tried reaching for something or someone, anyone around. But you were alone. The greenroom was empty and silent except for you and your heavy panting. 

With your foggied mind, you grabbed another jacket that was left in the room, your phone and your bag. You sprinted towards the door and to the hallways, your group’s comeback song was playing in the distance, the heavy bass resonating across the walls. You halted your steps, wondering if you could turn back and join them in the rehearsal. 

If they wanted you with them, they could have woken you up. They’re already rehearsing for when you’re not around. They don’t need you!

A voice you didn’t recognize crammed your brain. You hold up your head, trying to get it out, but it kept repeating the last part over and over again. Your feet tried outrunning the voice, racing across the hallways as tear after tear caressed your cheeks after bursting free from your eyes. 

The sun rays hurt your swollen eyes when you busted the emergency exit from the back alley open. You covered them with your hat as your feet kept trying to outrun the voices in your head. To no avail, just like your dream, they were just getting closer and closer and closer. 

You ran as far as your feet and legs allowed you, crashing against the pavement from exhaustion. Your eyes scanned your surroundings, but recognized absolutely nothing. The area seemed calm, not a car or person passing around in the eternal time that it felt you were down in the ground. You caught a glimpse of an ally beside you, leading to a public restroom, where the sun didn’t hit you directly. That’s how you found yourself here, alone, snuggled in the cold corner of a deserted alley. 

You were lost, and… for once, you were not sure if you wanted to be found.

Day 2

I was finally able to sleep, my body was way too tired, and my back hurts from the stiff and cold ground I fell asleep in. I also have finally stopped crying, but my eyes and my throat are so swollen and dry. My phone has been dead for hours already. It’s definitely easier than declining every call and resisting the urge to check social media.

All those voices are still there, but at least they’re not shouting anymore.

- - - - - - - - - -

Day 3

It has been so quiet, nothing but the creeks of the rusty doors and the occasional car passing by. I’m starting to miss their voices. Laughing with Yoohyeon and Gahyeon Unnies, Bora and Siyeon Unnies always exist so loudly. I miss quietly hanging around Yubin and Handong, even being nagged by Minji Unnie. Now I cry at the thought of them, I love them but that’s why it’s best for me not to keep ruining their lives. They’re better without me...

“It doesn’t even ring anymore,” Siyeon angrily tossed her phone at the wall, desperate. “It just sends you straight to voicemail.”

“No no no,” JiU barged in, her eyes full of worry as she walked from one side to the other in the Inkigayo green room. “We can’t give up, there must be something else we can do.”

“We have done everything possible in our hands to help...” Gahyeon caressed a plushie in her hands, one you had gifted her on her birthday a year before. “But I really wish we could do more.”

“How did we allow this to come so far?” JiU threw her body weight into the couch, her eyes crystallizing as she rested her head in her hands. “Why did it have to come to this? If only I had-”

“Unnie, don’t blame yourself.” Yoohyeon sat besides JiU, surrounding her with her arms. 

"Why did I let this happen? I knew she wasn't okay and we couldn't reach her." JiU kept pushing the blame on to herself, the tears flowing more freely through her cheeks. "I was supposed to take care of her and I… Failed."

"We all failed." Handong muttered from the corner, hugging her knees. "She was our little maknae, and we didn't realize how much of this was hurting her."

"I don't understand…" Yoohyeon was next, caressing her leader's back as she spoke. "She can rap, sing, dance. She's an ace of her generation. She practiced day and night, everywhere…" 

"She must be cold, alone…" SuA broke in, cleaning away a tear from her chin. “She even left her favorite blanket at home, I folded it for her just in case-"

SuA couldn't continue talking as the knot in her throat tightened with each word. 

Three days ago after finishing their rehearsal on Music Bank, the girls went back to the greenroom, hoping to catch a glimpse of you still sound asleep cuddled up in blankets they gently put on top of you, just like they had left you, deciding you knew the moves and camera drills enough to be able to sit down this rehearsal. As your roommates, SuA and Yoohyeon knew you spent restless nights, silently sobbing on top of your bunk bed, so they allowed you to rest what you needed to rest before the presentation. 

But when they opened the door, you weren’t anywhere to be seen. Keeping calm they searched in the bathroom, the change rooms and even in the closets, remembering your habit of hiding to scare them later. But you weren’t there. The managers went out of the room to search for you all around the building. But you weren’t there. Everyone tried calling your phone but to no answer, your bag and jackets were nowhere to be seen. Time was running out, with the managers frantically trying to search for you everywhere, the girls buried their hands in the makeup chair as they spent every second trying to reason your whereabouts. With only five minutes before going into stage and still no sign of you, the company had to tell the public that you would be sitting out the promotions for health reasons, only to not panic the fans.

They had to continue their activities without you, and by night when still nobody knew anything of you, the company filed a missing report, and a search for you began. The girls had to endure every presentation with a straight face, but each one kept wearing their hearts, your absence clearer day by day. 

“We must try and remain positive.” Siyeon tried breaking the ice, cleaning more tears from SuA’s cheeks. “We’ll find Y/n, and then Dreamcatcher we’ll be complete again.”

“But what if she doesn’t want to come back?” Yubin, who since your disappearance had remained silent except for their forced schedules, finally dared speaking, making everyone snap their faces to her.

“Yubin…” Siyeon muttered. 

“It’s just that,” She continued talking, with all the girls glued to her words. “Even we were hesitant at the idea of adding an eighth member. If she didn’t feel completely welcome somewhere, why would she stay where people keep hurting her?”

“But Insomnias love her!” Gahyeon remarked.

“But the ones that don’t are always louder,” Yubin continued. “And we did nothing to stop them, almost as if our silence agreed with them.”

“What are you saying-”

“I’m saying we didn’t do enough in time,” She stood up from her chair, enraged. “And pretending in front of everyone that it didn’t have any consequences it’s even worse. Y/n didn’t catch a mild cold, Y/n’s gone.”

Her last words bounced on the walls like an echo that consumed their minds little by little. They knew Dami was right. 

An strenuous fear invaded their bodies at once, one that repeated over and over that it was too late to get to you. That they could have prevented this by calling out those people bringing you down, it's not like they hadn't done it before. 

What use did it have to have songs all about stopping the hate and standing up for each other when they were the first ones that failed their own promise. 

The silence was broken when a manager opened the door, with his head down, wary of intruding the girl’s space. The girls jumped from their place, startled, hesitant. 

“Any news?” JiU stroke away a tear falling from her eye.

“Not yet, I’m so sorry.” The manager shook his head apologetic. JiU buried her hands on her face, dwelling on the heaviest silence surrounding the girls. The manager took a big sigh before continuing the message he was sent to deliver. “They’re waiting for you at the stage for rehearsal ladies, I can tell them you’ll be on your way in a moment-”

“We’re on our way…” SuA, after finishing an entire box of tissues was the first to stand up, fixing her clothes and rubbing her eyes.

Perplexed, the rest of the girls followed close. The halls silent as they traveled through them only allowed them to keep thinking about you. You who aside SuA would already be racing each other to the stage. Or maybe gossiping in the back with Gahyeon and Yoohyeon. Riding on the back of Siyeon or talking with Yubin about the latest book you read. Maybe asking JiU and Handong for advice on something about life. But your cheery, youthful voice was nowhere to be found and all the girls walked separately, their eyes fixated on the floor. 

The girls arrived at the stage, with the crew waiting for them to take their places. As usual, they introduced the group to the people working with them.

“Dream of me! Hello, we are Dreamcatcher!” They chorused together, aligned by age. Each one of them introduced themselves, one after the other. Gahyeon was last, but everyone remained silent, leaving the space for your name, a certain hope they could at least faintly hear you calling it. But there was only silence that cut like a knife through them. 

“Thank you for your hard work!” JiU swallowed heavily as each one of them took their places to start the choreography. There was a cold space between Siyeon and Yoohyeon left for you, and they could not stop looking at it, worried they might miss the moment you arrived to fill it.

The director called for the song to start, all the camera crew ready to go through the drill. The first beats started, the girls swiftly moving with the bass, hitting each count. But their eyes could focus correctly, always glancing to where you would be standing, a faint desire to catch your silhouette moving aside them, all of this just being a bad dream.

The girls each sang their part accordingly. But it was too much for SuA to handle when she was assigned to sing your parts. The dancing machine tripped on her own feet, falling on the floor in tears. All the girls ran to her aid, Gahyeon surrounding her with her arms as she couldn’t contain her tears either.

The director called for the music to stop, as managers rushed to surround them, some of them tearing up at the sight of the hopeless girls in front of them.

“This was her song!” SuA sobbed. “She wrote this song with a smile on her face and they took that away from her!”

The words coming out of the older girl made everyone without fault start shedding tears. They couldn’t continue like this, not without you.

Day 4

The days are getting even colder, and I’ve finally dared to look at the mirror. I even had forgotten that I still had makeup on, it’s all smudged on my pale, thin face. I managed to get most of it off, but my bare face didn’t look any better. There’s still swelling in my eyes, dark deep circles around them. My lips border the color purple and I can’t stop shivering. It doesn’t help that now I’m missing my member’s hugs…

- - - - - - - - - -

Day 5

With my bare face and my body in such a bad condition I don’t think anybody could recognize me out. There’s still some money on my wallet, maybe I’ll go buy some food at the corner store later. I should also start looking for another place to sleep, and someday, maybe someday I’ll have the guts to go back to the girls and explain everything. For now, even though I’m thankful for everything that I spent with them, I’ll root for them from afar. 

A few of the first rays of sun from the day traveled through the only high window in the room landing in your face, a warm morning kiss from the universe. You moaned as you stretched your sore limbs across the cold floor, lingering on the dryness of your mouth, before painfully reincorporating up. Your swollen eyes adjusted to the dim light of the room, carefully scanning their surroundings. Bird chirps with a light breeze ruffling the trees outside joined your heartbeat as the only things you could listen to. Settling with a sigh, you rested your back on the wall behind you, staying there for a few seconds that seemed a good amount of minutes for you.

A growl trembled through your body, emerging from your stomach. You reached for your bag, searching to see if there was anything left to satisfy your appetite, only able to get out a bunch of empty wrappers.

“Great, half a protein bar.” You unwrapped the piece of food, aggressively munching on it. You turned around to get your water bottle, unfortunately discovering it was empty too. “Ah, crap.”

You got your wallet out of your bag, carefully exploring it. You had enough money left to buy some stuff from the corner store, with some extra left. Carefully, you stood up, gathering all the strength from your aching body. Approaching the mirror, you opened the faucet and splashed your face with a bit of cold water. For once, you recognized your reflection, faintly smiling at it.

You grabbed your things, putting all your jackets on, your mask over your nose. You stared at Siyeon’s bucket hat, while a flood of bittersweet memories invaded your mind. You put it on, a soft feeling of protection emanating from it. After hanging your bag from your shoulder and checking your dead phone was there you faced the door, and opened it with a sigh, ready to explore your whereabouts. 

You walked the length of the alley to the street, warily scanning your surroundings. Traveling through the little street that seemed like an alley in itself, with only a one way path for one car to fit, not more than ten of them passed around in the day, you knew that because you counted them on your 4th day. A fairly quiet oasis in the frantic city that was Seoul, you were surprised you haven’t crossed paths with another human in that window of time. 

Recalling your time here, there were some voices that you sometimes listened to in the distance through the window in the room you hid. A couple of women of what you assumed were around 50 or 60, always gossiping about the latest stuff their families were up to; a group of children always shouting and playing ball on their way back home from school and a man that whistled always the same songs as he walked past the allie. 

You got to the corner, a little more city activity visible down the road. Across the street, a little convenience store sat open, the only visible person there was the owner, reading the newspaper with a Tv turned on in the news channel behind him. After checking the street for cars, you crossed, opening the door to the store. The owner lowered the newspaper to catch a glimpse of you, glancing from head to toe. Startled at your first human interaction since your escape, you politely bowed after taking a basket and then continued your way through the aisles of the store in silence.

Carefully listening to the news in the back to know what the world had been into while you isolated yourself, you put in the basket some packs of ramen and chips, before moving towards the beverage aisle. You picked up a large bottle, enough to last about three days if you rationed it fair enough. You traveled through the sweets aisle looking for something to treat yourself when your ears picked something from the TV that made a shiver travel through your spine.

“On entertainment news, DreamCatcher has decided to sit out promotions of their new comeback at least until there are news of the whereabouts of their youngest member.” The news anchor seriously remarked, you discreetly leaned closer to where the TV was, eager to listen more. “The police have been looking for her nonstop for five days now, and morale is low but the group isn’t giving up yet.”

You couldn’t contain a gasp escaping your mouth at the mention of your members, listening even more mindfully to the TV.

“The video uploaded to Dreamcatcher’s channel calling for everyone’s help in the search of information for Y/n location has been going viral all around Korea,” You turned to face the TV, an image of your members tired, with their eyes swollen. “It has also been used as another unfortunate example of what unwarranted harmful comments can do to people. With thousands of their fans and other artists standing up against harassment in her name.”

The TV drew you closer as a magnet towards itself, as the program continued.

“We can appreciate in the video that the members themselves cannot contain their tears, with members SuA and Gahyeon not talking at all while trying to swallow tears. As a strong leader JiU carries the video, calling for all hands on deck in this search.” The anchor reviewed their notes, releasing a clearly upset sigh. “We can only urge you to help in the search, and wish for the best possible outcome of this situation. We are all hoping for the best for this talented young lady.”

The program continued towards other news, leaving you there breathless. People out there, not only your members or fans, but a whole nation was out there looking for you. You swallowed the tears and bravely approached the counter.

“Excuse me sir,” You lowered your voice as much as you could, trying to make yourself unrecognizable. The man closed his newspaper aggressively, laying it on the counter, his eyes piercing through your conscience. “I- I couldn’t help myself, listening to the TV right now, do you know what happened to Dreamcatcher’s maknae?”

“Young lady,” The man’s voice sounded surprisingly tender, relief traveling in your body when he didn’t realize your true identity. “Where have you been lately? It’s been all over the news.”

“I-” You gulped, looking for an excuse. “I was studying hard for exams Sir.”

“Fair enough. Good luck on those.” He stood up from his chair and approached the counter, a faint smell of tobacco accompanying him. “Dreamcatcher’s maknae has been missing for about five days now. It’s believed she escaped because of the hate she got, the company even took legal actions against the people making the most damage.”

“Huh-” 

“Police have been searching every corner they can, boats already deployed on the Han river in case she… You know. But it’s been so long that faith has been wearing off, everyone is praying for a miracle, for her to be found alive,” He lowered his sight, fidgeting his hands on the counter. Your breath halted at his last words, your heart sinking in your chest as your tears were almost uncontainable. “Such a shame, my grandkid loves the group and she has been crying non-stop since the news broke out. I could see she had great potential.”

“She- she did?” You dared raising your eyes, surprised at the owner’s words. 

“She really did.” 

A tense silence took over your body, with a thousand ideas floating around in your brain. But there was one that took over all the others quickly enough. You only put the bag of chips and the bottle on the counter, getting your wallet out of your bag.

“I’m just going to need these two sir,” You mumbled as the owner scanned each item, bringing you the total amount to pay. “And a favor.”

“What would that favor be, young lady?” He answered as he counted the cash you handed to him, attentively handing you your items.

“Can you please call me a taxi?”

- - - - - - - - - -

The girls sat in silence on their dorm, their eyes filled with dark circles around following their sleepless nights worrying for you, the TV was full of news programs in the morning and they decided to ignore them since they only drilled them with your absence and the reminder that even the most professional teams searching for you could not locate you was pretty discouraging. 

“What if we never find her?” JiU was the first to burst into tears again, the biggest toll falling on her shoulders as she spent day and night on the sofa facing their dorm’s front door. Tears were common already as they couldn’t help but having their minds be filled with ideas they didn’t even want to explore.

Silence filled the air, making everyone turn their heads towards Yoohyeon and Siyeon, they had repeatedly answered everything negative the girls cried with encouragement. But on the dawn of the fifth day, they didn’t feel like raising the group morale when not even them felt so certain about the future either.

“I- don’t know.” Were the only words coming out of Siyeon’s mouth as a mumble, making all the other girls start tearing up again.

Swallowed sobs reigned the air until a soft hum stood out. Yubin’s gentle singing filled the air, the other girls recognizing the song immediately. Your song. One by one the other girls joined her, harmoniously swelling their surroundings with a much needed drop of hope for their soul. As the song continued, each one of them cuddled towards each other, seeking the warmth and comfort of their arms. A silent promise to deliver this and so much more to you if you ever came back. 

The song was arriving to their end, as silent once again reigned the room when a sigh from the leader broke through. JiU caressed the backs of the girls surrounding her,

“We’ll wait for her the time that we need too-” 

A knock in the door startled all the girls, making them jump to their feet. Conflicting emotions swirling around them. It could be a manager, asking them about activities details, a police officer coming to deliver bad news or maybe…

Handong was the first brave soul to open the door, bracing for whatever good or bad news was standing behind it. 

You stood there, rigid and nervous, your fists clenching your arms for dear life as the light of the room illuminated your silhouette. She recognized your figure immediately, with only the shock of the moment preventing her from moving either.

“Y/n?...” She whispered as a first reflex.

“I’m sorry.” You answered back, trembling. “I’m so sorry-”

You felt your hand being pulled into the room, with the weight of her body slamming against yours, followed by the screams and cries of the rest of the girls approaching.

“You don’t have to be sorry.” JiU cried as the group hug got tighter around you. 

“Welcome back home” SuA continued, her tears dampening your shoulder.

Every evil thought banished away from your mind when the familiar smell and warmth of your members surrounded you. A thousand attacks and insults could be headed your way, but it didn’t matter in the moment, a safety blanket protecting you in the form of the best people you had ever met in your life, it didn’t cross your mind to ever let them go, and they would never let you feel alone ever again. The promise beating hard in each of your hearts.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Hey guys! It’s Ash here.)

I hope you are doing good, as you have read all the way down, this one was filled with some heavy emotions. I just wanted to tell you all that, you are never alone and there will always be light at the end of the tunnel. If you struggle with intrusive negative thoughts, HERE you can find a masterpost with a lot of resourses for help. I’m also here if you ever want to chat. Stay safe, with love. Ash❤