#just haven't got around to there yet lmao

[birgittesilverbae]

endure thou therefore hardship

cw: mention of domestic abuse

i. who hath chosen him

You can't remember a time when you could stand tall, before you had been buckled beneath the weight of a load too large for your young shoulders. Your mere presence to blame for a family unit shattering, for the departure of a woman who looks upon you and feels nothing. Your own actions to blame for the bruises that long blanket your ribs and your back and every inch of your skin that can be covered by clothing. Your disinterest to blame for the whispers that spread behind you in the halls of a Department of Defense school you've never quite felt at home in. You're to blame, you're to blame, you're to blame. 

The litany of blame only lightens when you step into the church on base, tucked into the back of the installation. You while away your evenings there alongside the chaplain, growing tall enough that your feet no longer dangle above the floor when you settle into one of the folding chairs that stand in for pews. Alan, the latest in a long line of chaplains, is always slow to hide his grin when you carry the chairs in ungainly stacks and rest them in neat ranks against the back of the hall. He sits with you as you struggle gamely through biology and calculus, chemistry and history. There's a keenness to his eyes, an interest in his gaze, that makes you feel accepted here, in this quiet space where you can shelter from the whirlwind of rage that haunts your home.

His quiet, steady voice – so much at odds with the barks of every teacher who seemingly aspires to become a drill sergeant – directs you to prayer, to supplication, to stain your lips with the crimson of His blood, and you find peace in those moments in which you can finally hear yourself think. You are so used to living with eyes downturned that it doesn't feel a burden to lower your head in prayer. It feels a relief to know that you are not alone, even in your isolation.

Your backpack is light, containing only a binder with an essay you've left almost to the last minute, when you duck your head into Alan's office to give your greetings. He is not alone, and confusion spikes up and down your spine when he gestures towards you and introduces you to a full-on nun. Wimple and all. You've grown too used to Alan in his fatigues or his dress uniform, can't remember the last time you'd seen him in his robes of office – the Easter services, maybe – and thus the contrast between the pair of them is all the more stark. Alan with the top buttons of his fatigues undone in concession to the heat while this black-robed crow perches opposite him without even a bead of sweat on her face.

The confusion only grows, as confusion so often does for you, with the continuance of conversation. An offer of something that's never quite stated outright, the way your fingers trace the margin of a bruise but never press at its centre. An opportunity to take a combat-oriented role in… something. An affiliation to the Church, the proper noun always evident in the stating of it. 

You've drifted from Mainline Protestant to Evangelical to Catholic with the rotation of chaplains through the base, none of them striking any particular chord with you beyond the one strummed by the offering of religion as refuge. Face to face with a steely-eyed nun of the Catholic capital-c Church, you feel a sudden surge of belief that this is where you are meant to be. That all your burdens have brought you to this moment, to this offering of escape from the only path you'd felt left open to you. 

(You've never had the grades for university, and you've heard often enough that art is not a viable option. But you have a body, and what better use for it than to lay it on the line for a country you've experienced only in brief snapshots of time, a week long vacation here, a funeral there. If that's all you're good for, then it will be no trial for you to pile more dirt upon the root of that disinterest in boys you've already so easily buried.)

You have a body, and you are being offered another use for it.

You grab hold with both hands and hang on tight.

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D

I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.

Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.

I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!

I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.

I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer

I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.

So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3

[akai-anna]

I thought it might be interesting to share the process of making this particular piece...🥺

And yes, I do use both sides of the paper. *puts on sunglasses and flips canvas in traditional style*

[spotaus]

Dang, that redraw hits hard in 2024 🙏

Below are the old versions! (The left is my very very literally first drawing of Ichor! The others followed a few months/years later-)

Some design breakdowns under the cut!

Okay, okay-

^this guy!! I drew him on my janky old laptop with a tiny lil drawing pad right after my Mlp phase in middleschool. He was one of my first designs and I'll confidently say the first utmv oc who made it onto a drawing format. At the time I refused to draw hands correctly and drew claws instead- Ichor here still had his name "Ichor" and was supposed to be a combo between Reaper and Red. He had his chains because he was a fickle God of death who needed to be held back by his fellow gods lest he wreak havoc on the surface. I love this design to death, mostly because I always think back on it to see how far I've come and how Ichor's been here forever! (Note that here he doesn't have his iconic gold tooth or purple arm. His clawed hands inspired me for the purple arm though, and the one spiked white tooth eventually became his gold tooth!)

^ This is post iPad acquisition thanks to my school getting some new funding. I don't think I drew this on procreate but I can't remember the name of the app smh. This version of Ichor was similar to the old one. Less bent on destruction, more just a trickster. (This one and the other one always fell into 'Teenage' vibes). Now he has shoes, the gold tooth, and the arm! Though he still has both eyelights and the 'crack' in his socket is still a gold scar instead. This *is* where I gave him his gray pants, but the slash on his jacket... uhh... swapped directions?? Idk about that one- But fun fact! The spot on his jacket is a mark of how he'd be killed one day if that came to pass! He doesn't know, no one does, but it's true! Old prophecy locked up somewhere in the Ruins. (Actually, Toriel might be aware.) His arm here is super desaturated because I wanted to keep it a minor detail. That changes very quickly 👀

^ He's lanky af!!! I always go through a phase of drawing things too short, then too tall. Welcome to Ichor's Way Too Tall phase! I wanted him to be big and chunky but uhh. That 'silhouette' talk got to me. Here the biggest differences? The hand is out of the pocket and includes his sword! (Which is Canon still) The scarf is here too! At first the scarf was a gift from Reward, then it was from Reward being killed, then it was just a bold fashion choice?(I settled on it being a gift from Reward again, to help him cover the collar) His socket is finally empty, the crack is there too. His teeth are all straight besides the one gold tooth, and the hand is very purple this time. The lore I wanna mention in this bit is the soul! It's constantly been a pale yellow, but here it has a hole in it! This isn't something that stocks, but the idea of it does. Ichir's chains prevent him from healing with his godly magic, so he's stuck on 1 hp. The god's souls are naturally gold, abd here, Ichor's soul was wounded when he was captured, so he's slowly been fighting off death. (In the final version his soul is white with fading gold, showing how his magic is restricted)

^Honorable mention jumpscare because this is actually a sticker I made about 2 years ago? Not exactly the same pose but it was definitely inspired and it shows how certain elements have stuck around since the last doodle. (This sticker is currently on a sketchbook at my house lmao-)

^And then current! I used to be allergic to using the same colors twice, so he used to have different shades of yellow abd gold everywhere. Now the yellow/gold is all the same! His eyebags (which started in the Lanky era) are more pronounced, he's more classic-shaped than he's ever been, and as per usual I don't think I drew his purple hand right. But! He's my boy, and that's what matters! Side note: His chains aren't visible here, but that's because I've decided that he prefers to hide them. His sleeves are puffy so he can tuck them away, his scarf covers the length of the chain on his collar, etc. It just doesn't make narrative sense that he'd leave them exposed like that. He's also in his old man era finally! Been trying to draw him like this fir years!!!

[daincrediblegg]

Everyone clap I did a whole resume and cover letter even though my ass is constantly dying of heat stroke and applying for a job/internship is the last thing I want to do after my college strife

[miss-bunny-penny]

i'm really excited for next season but sadly C4S4 is the first season since C4S2 that i won't be able to get to level 200 on on my main. actually last two seasons i bought the level up skin and didn't this time but last two seasons it wasn't relevant because i leveled up to 200 even without considering them. worth noting that on my switch/work account i got several gold style skins this season while last season it only got a couple of the wildscorch styles. my main and switch accs are around the same level lol. ohwell i dont even really care that much not getting gold kado, if i never got gold mizuki i'd kms but gold kado is whatever. having gold piper mae and antonia on both of my accounts is really cool to me

[discoreptile]

Wee ha

[dan-crimes]

OH SHIT I TOTALLY FORGOT like ages ago I wanted to make abstract pieces on my OCs so that I could post them here but I have so many drawing ideas so often with zero drive to actually DRAW them that I totally forgot

[boyswanna-be-her]

I'm tapering off one of my 2 depression meds to see if it'll help w my teeth clenching and anxiety, and anyone who has done THAT before knows how truly fun and exciting it is. Wow did I have some utterly fucked up dreams last night holy hell

[izzy-b-hands]

Nothing will make you question your sanity and intelligence like trying to get into an edibles package without a scissors and/or blowtorch

[kingdomoftyto]

Now that I'm thinking about crossovers, my mind somehow jumped to "what if instead of classpects/Avatar bending styles/pony species/etc I assigned my blorbos WoF dragon tribes"

And so:

Phoenix is a SeaWing, not because he's blue (though that's a lovely coincidence) but because I like the idea of him not having any breath weapons or other special abilities. All he has to defend others with are his courage, determination, and bare claws. He'd be kind of a scrawny thing, too, not built for fighting, but that doesn't stop him from throwing himself bodily into harm's way to save someone in need. A fun extra detail could be that the bioluminescence on his wings is especially bright, evoking a phoenix's fiery feathers. Oh, and he still only knows like 2 kinds of flowers, but now it's because he's from the bottom of the ocean.

(...I should say right off the bat that I don't know what exactly Phoenix and co. actually do in this AU, other than "defend the innocent". There's nothing really stopping them from still being lawyers, I suppose, though it seems like there's room for something more, uh, unique to the fact that they're all dragons now, lmAO... Either way, it's largely unimportant as long as the major story beats for each character are able to remain somewhat intact.)

Maya and the rest of the Feys are MudWings with a NightWing ancestor. This gives them a faint purple tint to their brown scales, and is assumed to be the reason behind their strange magic powers. They're not quite animus dragons (though maybe their magatama are animus-touched in some way); instead, they can speak with the spirits of the dead. I like to think their power is connected to family/bloodlines specifically, to relate it to MudWings more; perhaps they can only talk to a spirit if a member of the spirit's family is present. Anyway, Maya's personality would be hilariously stereotypical for a young MudWing--eager and impulsive and always hungry--but her sarcastic wit would set her apart.

Mia left home just like in canon, which was especially devastating for Maya because of course Mia was her bigwings. The mixed heritage of the Fey family means smaller clutches than is typical for MudWings, so Mia and Maya only had each other. Since they're the same age in this AU, Maya was at least old enough to fend for herself, but the psychological damage of being left behind by her only sibling would still have been significant. This plays into how quickly and how strongly Maya latches onto Phoenix as a brother figure later on.

Relatedly, Pearl was raised utterly alone, with no siblings at all, by her scheming mother. Maybe she had some prophetic sign associated with her egg, like it having a certain pattern of speckles, that alerted Morgan to how powerful Pearl's spirit abilities would be. So although Pearl DID have two sisters, she was kept apart from them and never told they existed. This is why Pearl is so odd and poorly socialized in this AU. Luckily, Maya basically "adopts" her as a little sister later on and they grow to be just as close as if they were clutchmates.

Miles is a SkyWing (which again provides the wonderful coincidence of him having red scales) and he has the temper to match. He was of course Phoenix's childhood friend (somehow--don't worry too much about the timeline), and then was whisked away and raised by Manfred after his father died. After reuniting with Phoenix and being set back on the right path, he travels between kingdoms to study their ways just like he does in canon with his European research tour. His big powerful wings are great for all that travel--just like they're great for zipping like an arrow from the opposite end of the continent the minute he hears Phoenix might be dying of burn wounds. ;)

(There's definitely something to be done with Miles' phobias in this AU, but I haven't given that enough thought yet. It would depend on the circumstances of Gregory's death--maybe earthquakes still tie in, but instead of elevators as a trigger, it's windowless caves? Like, there was a cave-in before Gregory's death and now he hates being underground and always needs to be within a few wingspans of an egress or he gets panicky...)

Manfred and Franziska could work equally well as IceWings or NightWings, I think, in terms of sheer vibes, and IceWings certainly work best for their aesthetic. However, I think it might be more fun to have them as NightWings for a few reasons. (Plus it would be kind of impossible for Miles to have been adopted by them if they were IceWings, for a number of obvious reasons. :P)

Firstly, I know I haven't gotten into AU names for the others, but Perfection would be an awesome NightWing name, just saying, lmao. At first I thought the name would apply to Manfred, but I think it makes more sense for Manfred to name his daughter Perfection and for her to later reject that and rename herself, like Hope did. Maybe to something like Whiptail (which is a bit less NightWing-sounding, sure, but if WoF canon can name a dragon Bigtail then I'm allowed to stretch, dammit... plus New Mexico whiptail lizards are obligate lesbians, and idk maybe she fell for a SandWing with glasses and dependence issues, who can say)

ANYWAY, as NightWings, the von Karmas get to keep their superiority complexes, and while Manfred would largely just be an even more scheming, more self-serving version of Morrowseer, Franziska could have some fun extra quirks. She of course has an especially long and tapered tail that she enjoys whipping other dragons with, and in reference to her beauty mark, she has the white "teardrop" mark by just one eye. Manfred and the others have no idea this mark has any significance, of course, but, like Fatespeaker, Franziska actually has very limited NightWing-moon powers that even she isn't consciously aware of--in this case only the weakest of mindreading, but just enough to give her an edge in an argument, or to intimidate an opponent.

Let's see, who else... Godot is a SandWing, on vibes alone if nothing else. Wouldn't he fit right in at the Scorpion's Den, playing slow jazz and sipping a hot, bitter drink? Also, maybe Dahlia's murder attempt involved dragonbite viper venom, which is why it's so shocking that he survived. His visual impairment could be made to fit the desert theme somehow, too, maybe being affected by the sun's glare or creating mirage-like distortions.

Thalassa is a SeaWing because she HAS to be with a name like that, which means both Apollo and Trucy would be at least half-SeaWing. Could be fun to make them both hybrids of different tribes--I'd say RainWing for Trucy, because the Gramaryes dazzling others with their color-changing/pulling disappearing acts with their camouflage seems appropriate, and combining that with the glowing spots she inherited from her mom, Trucy would REALLY be a visual spectacle. (Plus maybe being raised by a troupe of capricious, nomadic RainWings would mean she never learned Aquatic growing up, so Phoenix would be the one to teach her. 🥺)

As for Apollo, I haven't played AA6, so I don't know enough about his dad to speculate on that front. Could be funny if he was half-SkyWing though, to keep his color scheme red. What if he looked mostly like a full SkyWing but had smaller, more compact wings from his SeaWing side... the equivalent of him being such a short king in canon dgasjfhjksdf

The Gavins are SandWings because Kristoph having a venomous tail is just too good to pass up. Sorry, Klavier. Though, it does also match their blond hair, and Klavier does strike me as having a similar aura of (secretly insecure) suavity as Qibli, so really it's not a bad match after all.

Athena is undoubtedly a RainWing who unconsciously reflects other dragons' emotions in her scale colors. It takes her a long time to learn to control this, and even longer to learn how to use it to help others, but her dogged quest to save her uncle Simon (and a dash of classic RainWing optimism) is enough to help her push through.

And finally Blackquill himself is... hmm... he almost strikes me as IceWing-like, in both personality and aesthetic, but without the narcissistic self-aggrandizing. I dunno, which tribe I put him in would depend heavily on his backstory and how he met Metis and all that. Or maybe I could go FULL tragedy and make him a RainWing that's so broken by what happened and so determined to keep others out that he keeps his scales monochrome black-and-white at all times.

... wow, this post got long. Sorry not sorry lmao this was a shockingly fun exercise

[anothermonikan]

After I finish this project which literally has to get done by like 1AM so like soon, I'm gonna start working on the blog retheme. scary!!

[wereh0gz]

Pikmin is kinda fun actually

[little-eye-guy]

wow the coli sandsurge genes going for 1000g+ time to grind i guess

[elibean]

tomorrow is the start of golden week here in the nihons. i was dumb and planned my trip to kamikochi tomorrow...dumb bc i have to be up at like 7am on a saturday at the start of this holiday week...but anyway it’ll be fun, hopefully!

[exeggcute]

the great reddit API meltdown of '23, or: this was always bound to happen

there's a lot of press about what's going on with reddit right now (app shutdowns, subreddit blackouts, the CEO continually putting his foot in his mouth), but I haven't seen as much stuff talking about how reddit got into this situation to begin with. so as a certified non-expert and Context Enjoyer I thought it might be helpful to lay things out as I understand them—a high-level view, surveying the whole landscape—in the wonderful world of startups, IPOs, and extremely angry users.

disclaimer that I am not a founder or VC (lmao), have yet to work at a company with a successful IPO, and am not a reddit employee or third-party reddit developer or even a subreddit moderator. I do work at a startup, know my way around an API or two, and have spent twelve regrettable years on reddit itself. which is to say that I make no promises of infallibility, but I hope you'll at least find all this interesting.

profit now or profit later

before you can really get into reddit as reddit, it helps to know a bit about startups (of which reddit is one). and before I launch into that, let me share my Three Types Of Websites framework, which is basically just a mental model about financial incentives that's helped me contextualize some of this stuff.

(1) website/software that does not exist to make money: relatively rare, for a variety of reasons, among them that it costs money to build and maintain a website in the first place. wikipedia is the evergreen example, although even wikipedia's been subject to criticism for how the wikimedia foundation pays out its employees and all that fun nonprofit stuff. what's important here is that even when making money is not the goal, money itself is still a factor, whether it's solicited via donations or it's just one guy paying out of pocket to host a hobby site. but websites in this category do, generally, offer free, no-strings-attached experiences to their users.

(I do want push back against the retrospective nostalgia of "everything on the internet used to be this way" because I don't think that was ever really true—look at AOL, the dotcom boom, the rise of banner ads. I distinctly remember that neopets had multiple corporate sponsors, including a cookie crisp-themed flash game. yahoo bought geocities for $3.6 billion; money's always been trading hands, obvious or not. it's indisputable that the internet is simply different now than it was ten or twenty years ago, and that monetization models themselves have largely changed as well (I have thoughts about this as it relates to web 1.0 vs web 2.0 and their associated costs/scale/etc.), but I think the only time people weren't trying to squeeze the internet for all the dimes it can offer was when the internet was first conceived as a tool for national defense.)

(2) website/software that exists to make money now: the type that requires the least explanation. mostly non-startup apps and services, including any random ecommerce storefront, mobile apps that cost three bucks to download, an MMO with a recurring subscription, or even a news website that runs banner ads and/or offers paid subscriptions. in most (but not all) cases, the "make money now" part is obvious, so these things don't feel free to us as users, even to the extent that they might have watered-down free versions or limited access free trials. no one's shocked when WoW offers another paid expansion packs because WoW's been around for two decades and has explicitly been trying to make money that whole time.

(3) website/software that exists to make money later: this is the fun one, and more common than you'd think. "make money later" is more or less the entire startup business model—I'll get into that in the next section—and is deployed with the expectation that you will make money at some point, but not always by means as obvious as "selling WoW expansions for forty bucks a pop."

companies in this category tend to have two closely entwined characteristics: they prioritize growth above all else, regardless of whether this growth is profitable in any way (now, or sometimes, ever), and they do this by offering users really cool and awesome shit at little to no cost (or, if not for free, then at least at a significant loss to the company).

so from a user perspective, these things either seem free or far cheaper than their competitors. but of course websites and software and apps and [blank]-as-a-service tools cost money to build and maintain, and that money has to come from somewhere, and the people supplying that money, generally, expect to get it back...

just not immediately.

startups, VCs, IPOs, and you

here's the extremely condensed "did NOT go to harvard business school" version of how a startup works:

(1) you have a cool idea.

(2) you convince some venture capitalists (also known as VCs) that your idea is cool. if they see the potential in what you're pitching, they'll give you money in exchange for partial ownership of your company—which means that if/when the company starts trading its stock publicly, these investors will own X numbers of shares that they can sell at any time. in other words, you get free money now (and you'll likely seek multiple "rounds" of investors over the years to sustain your company), but with the explicit expectations that these investors will get their payoff later, assuming you don't crash and burn before that happens.

during this phase, you want to do anything in your power to make your company appealing to investors so you can attract more of them and raise funds as needed. because you are definitely not bringing in the necessary revenue to offset operating costs by yourself.

it's also worth nothing that this is less about projecting the long-term profitability of your company than it's about its perceived profitability—i.e., VCs want to put their money behind a company that other people will also have confidence in, because that's what makes stock valuable, and VCs are in it for stock prices.

(3) there are two non-exclusive win conditions for your startup: you can get acquired, and you can have an IPO (also referred to as "going public"). these are often called "exit scenarios" and they benefit VCs and founders, as well as some employees. it's also possible for a company to get acquired, possibly even more than once, and then later go public.

acquisition: sell the whole damn thing to someone else. there are a million ways this can happen, some better than others, but in many cases this means anyone with ownership of the company (which includes both investors and employees who hold stock options) get their stock bought out by the acquiring company and end up with cash in hand. in varying amounts, of course. sometimes the founders walk away, sometimes the employees get laid off, but not always.

IPO: short for "initial public offering," this is when the company starts trading its stocks publicly, which means anyone who wants to can start buying that company's stock, which really means that VCs (and employees with stock options) can turn that hypothetical money into real money by selling their company stock to interested buyers.

drawing from that, companies don't go for an IPO until they think their stock will actually be worth something (or else what's the point?)—specifically, worth more than the amount of money that investors poured into it. The Powers That Be will speculate about a company's IPO potential way ahead of time, which is where you'll hear stuff about companies who have an estimated IPO evaluation of (to pull a completely random example) $10B. actually I lied, that was not a random example, that was reddit's valuation back in 2021 lol. but a valuation is basically just "how much will people be interested in our stock?"

as such, in the time leading up to an IPO, it's really really important to do everything you can to make your company seem like a good investment (which is how you get stock prices up), usually by making the company's numbers look good. but! if you plan on cashing out, the long-term effects of your decisions aren't top of mind here. remember, the industry lingo is "exit scenario."

if all of this seems like a good short-term strategy for companies and their VCs, but an unsustainable model for anyone who's buying those stocks during the IPO, that's because it often is.

also worth noting that it's possible for a company to be technically unprofitable as a business (meaning their costs outstrip their revenue) and still trade enormously well on the stock market; uber is the perennial example of this. to the people who make money solely off of buying and selling stock, it literally does not matter that the actual rideshare model isn't netting any income—people think the stock is valuable, so it's valuable.

this is also why, for example, elon musk is richer than god: if he were only the CEO of tesla, the money he'd make from selling mediocre cars would be (comparatively, lol) minimal. but he's also one of tesla's angel investors, which means he holds a shitload of tesla stock, and tesla's stock has performed well since their IPO a decade ago (despite recent dips)—even if tesla itself has never been a huge moneymaker, public faith in the company's eventual success has kept them trading at high levels. granted, this also means most of musk's wealth is hypothetical and not liquid; if TSLA dropped to nothing, so would the value of all the stock he holds (and his net work with it).

what's an API, anyway?

to move in an entirely different direction: we can't get into reddit's API debacle without understanding what an API itself is.

an API (short for "application programming interface," not that it really matters) is a series of code instructions that independent developers can use to plug their shit into someone else's shit. like a series of tin cans on strings between two kids' treehouses, but for sending and receiving data.

APIs work by yoinking data directly from a company's servers instead of displaying anything visually to users. so I could use reddit's API to build my own app that takes the day's top r/AITA post and transcribes it into pig latin: my app is a bunch of lines of code, and some of those lines of code fetch data from reddit (and then transcribe that data into pig latin), and then my app displays the content to anyone who wants to see it, not reddit itself. as far as reddit is concerned, no additional human beings laid eyeballs on that r/AITA post, and reddit never had a chance to serve ads alongside the pig-latinized content in my app. (put a pin in this part—it'll be relevant later.)

but at its core, an API is really a type of protocol, which encompasses a broad category of formats and business models and so on. some APIs are completely free to use, like how anyone can build a discord bot (but you still have to host it yourself). some companies offer free APIs to third-party developers can build their own plugins, and then the company and the third-party dev split the profit on those plugins. some APIs have a free tier for hobbyists and a paid tier for big professional projects (like every weather API ever, lol). some APIs are strictly paid services because the API itself is the company's core offering.

reddit's financial foundations

okay thanks for sticking with me. I promise we're almost ready to be almost ready to talk about the current backlash.

reddit has always been a startup's startup from day one: its founders created the site after attending a startup incubator (which is basically a summer camp run by VCs) with the successful goal of creating a financially successful site. backed by that delicious y combinator money, reddit got acquired by conde nast only a year or two after its creation, which netted its founders a couple million each. this was back in like, 2006 by the way. in the time since that acquisition, reddit's gone through a bunch of additional funding rounds, including from big-name investors like a16z, peter thiel (yes, that guy), sam altman (yes, also that guy), sequoia, fidelity, and tencent. crunchbase says that they've raised a total of $1.3B in investor backing.

in all this time, reddit has never been a public company, or, strictly speaking, profitable.

APIs and third-party apps

reddit has offered free API access for basically as long as it's had a public API—remember, as a "make money later" company, their primary goal is growth, which means attracting as many users as possible to the platform. so letting anyone build an app or widget is (or really, was) in line with that goal.

as such, third-party reddit apps have been around forever. by third-party apps, I mean apps that use the reddit API to display actual reddit content in an unofficial wrapper. iirc reddit didn't even have an official mobile app until semi-recently, so many of these third-party mobile apps in particular just sprung up to meet an unmet need, and they've kept a small but dedicated userbase ever since. some people also prefer the user experience of the unofficial apps, especially since they offer extra settings to customize what you're seeing and few to no ads (and any ads these apps do display are to the benefit of the third-party developers, not reddit itself.)

(let me add this preemptively: one solution I've seen proposed to the paid API backlash is that reddit should have third-party developers display reddit's ads in those third-party apps, but this isn't really possible or advisable due to boring adtech reasons I won't inflict on you here. source: just trust me bro)

in addition to mobile apps, there are also third-party tools that don’t replace the Official Reddit Viewing Experience but do offer auxiliary features like being able to mass-delete your post history, tools that make the site more accessible to people who use screen readers, and tools that help moderators of subreddits moderate more easily. not to mention a small army of reddit bots like u/AutoWikibot or u/RemindMebot (and then the bots that tally the number of people who reply to bot comments with “good bot” or “bad bot).

the number of people who use third-party apps is relatively small, but they arguably comprise some of reddit’s most dedicated users, which means that third-party apps are important to the people who keep reddit running and the people who supply reddit with high-quality content.

unpaid moderators and user-generated content

so reddit is sort of two things: reddit is a platform, but it’s also a community.

the platform is all the unsexy (or, if you like python, sexy) stuff under the hood that actually makes the damn thing work. this is what the company spends money building and maintaining and "owns." the community is all the stuff that happens on the platform: posts, people, petty squabbles. so the platform is where the content lives, but ultimately the content is the reason people use reddit—no one’s like “yeah, I spend time on here because the backend framework really impressed me."

and all of this content is supplied by users, which is not unique among social media platforms, but the content is also managed by users, which is. paid employees do not govern subreddits; unpaid volunteers do. and moderation is the only thing that keeps reddit even remotely tolerable—without someone to remove spam, ban annoying users, and (god willing) enforce rules against abuse and hate speech, a subreddit loses its appeal and therefore its users. not dissimilar to the situation we’re seeing play out at twitter, except at twitter it was the loss of paid moderators;  reddit is arguably in a more precarious position because they could lose this unpaid labor at any moment, and as an already-unprofitable company they absolutely cannot afford to implement paid labor as a substitute.

oh yeah? spell "IPO" backwards

so here we are, June 2023, and reddit is licking its lips in anticipation of a long-fabled IPO. which means it’s time to start fluffing themselves up for investors by cutting costs (yay, layoffs!) and seeking new avenues of profit, however small.

this brings us to the current controversy: reddit announced a new API pricing plan that more or less prevents anyone from using it for free.

from reddit's perspective, the ostensible benefits of charging for API access are twofold: first, there's direct profit to be made off of the developers who (may or may not) pay several thousand dollars a month to use it, and second, cutting off unsanctioned third-party mobile apps (possibly) funnels those apps' users back into the official reddit mobile app. and since users on third-party apps reap the benefit of reddit's site architecture (and hosting, and development, and all the other expenses the site itself incurs) without “earning” money for reddit by generating ad impressions, there’s a financial incentive at work here: even if only a small percentage of people use third-party apps, getting them to use the official app instead translates to increased ad revenue, however marginal.

(also worth mentioning that chatGPT and other LLMs were trained via tools that used reddit's API to scrape post and content data, and now that openAI is reaping the profits of that training without giving reddit any kickbacks, reddit probably wants to prevent repeats of this from happening in the future. if you want to train the next LLM, it's gonna cost you.)

of course, these changes only benefit reddit if they actually increase the company’s revenue and perceived value/growth—which is hard to do when your users (who are also the people who supply the content for other users to engage with, who are also the people who moderate your communities and make them fun to participate in) get really fucking pissed and threaten to walk.

pricing shenanigans

under the new API pricing plan, third-party developers are suddenly facing steep costs to maintain the apps and tools they’ve built.

most paid APIs are priced by volume: basically, the more data you send and receive, the more money it costs. so if your third-party app has a lot of users, you’ll have to make more API requests to fetch content for those users, and your app becomes more expensive to maintain. (this isn’t an issue if the tool you’re building also turns a profit, but most third-party reddit apps make little, if any, money.)

which is why, even though third-party apps capture a relatively small portion of reddit’s users, the developer of a popular third-party app called apollo recently learned that it would cost them about $20 million a year to keep the app running. and apollo actually offers some paid features (for extra in-app features independent of what reddit offers), but nowhere near enough to break even on those API costs.

so apollo, any many apps like it, were suddenly unable to keep their doors open under the new API pricing model and announced that they'd be forced to shut down.

backlash, blackout

plenty has been said already about the current subreddit blackouts—in like, official news outlets and everything—so this might be the least interesting section of my whole post lol. the short version is that enough redditors got pissed enough that they collectively decided to take subreddits “offline” in protest, either by making them read-only or making them completely inaccessible. their goal was to send a message, and that message was "if you piss us off and we bail, here's what reddit's gonna be like: a ghost town."

but, you may ask, if third-party apps only captured a small number of users in the first place, how was the backlash strong enough to result in a near-sitewide blackout? well, two reasons:

first and foremost, since moderators in particular are fond of third-party tools, and since moderators wield outsized power (as both the people who keep your site more or less civil, and as the people who can take a subreddit offline if they feel like it), it’s in your best interests to keep them happy. especially since they don’t get paid to do this job in the first place, won’t keep doing it if it gets too hard, and essentially have nothing to lose by stepping down.

then, to a lesser extent, the non-moderator users on third-party apps tend to be Power Users who’ve been on reddit since its inception, and as such likely supply a disproportionate amount of the high-quality content for other users to see (and for ads to be served alongside). if you drive away those users, you’re effectively kneecapping your overall site traffic (which is bad for Growth) and reducing the number/value of any ad impressions you can serve (which is bad for revenue).

also a secret third reason, which is that even people who use the official apps have no stake in a potential IPO, can smell the general unfairness of this whole situation, and would enjoy the schadenfreude of investors getting fucked over. not to mention that reddit’s current CEO has made a complete ass of himself and now everyone hates him and wants to see him suffer personally.

(granted, it seems like reddit may acquiesce slightly and grant free API access to a select set of moderation/accessibility tools, but at this point it comes across as an empty gesture.)

"later" is now "now"

TL;DR: this whole thing is a combination of many factors, specifically reddit being intensely user-driven and self-governed, but also a high-traffic site that costs a lot of money to run (why they willingly decided to start hosting video a few years back is beyond me...), while also being angled as a public stock market offering in the very near future. to some extent I understand why reddit’s CEO doubled down on the changes—he wants to look strong for investors—but he’s also made a fool of himself and cast a shadow of uncertainty onto reddit’s future, not to mention the PR nightmare surrounding all of this. and since arguably the most important thing in an IPO is how much faith people have in your company, I honestly think reddit would’ve fared better if they hadn’t gone nuclear with the API changes in the first place.

that said, I also think it’s a mistake to assume that reddit care (or needs to care) about its users in any meaningful way, or at least not as more than means to an end. if reddit shuts down in three years, but all of the people sitting on stock options right now cashed out at $120/share and escaped unscathed... that’s a success story! you got your money! VCs want to recoup their investment—they don’t care about longevity (at least not after they’re gone), user experience, or even sustained profit. those were never the forces driving them, because these were never the ultimate metrics of their success.

and to be clear: this isn’t unique to reddit. this is how pretty much all startups operate.

I talked about the difference between “make money now” companies and “make money later” companies, and what we’re experiencing is the painful transition from “later” to “now.” as users, this change is almost invisible until it’s already happened—it’s like a rug we didn’t even know existed gets pulled out from under us.

the pre-IPO honeymoon phase is awesome as a user, because companies have no expectation of profit, only growth. if you can rely on VC money to stay afloat, your only concern is building a user base, not squeezing a profit out of them. and to do that, you offer cool shit at a loss: everything’s chocolate and flowers and quarterly reports about the number of signups you’re getting!

...until you reach a critical mass of users, VCs want to cash in, and to prepare for that IPO leadership starts thinking of ways to make the website (appear) profitable and implements a bunch of shit that makes users go “wait, what?”

I also touched on this earlier, but I want to reiterate a bit here: I think the myth of the benign non-monetized internet of yore is exactly that—a myth. what has changed are the specific market factors behind these websites, and their scale, and the means by which they attempt to monetize their services and/or make their services look attractive to investors, and so from a user perspective things feel worse because the specific ways we’re getting squeezed have evolved. maybe they are even worse, at least in the ways that matter. but I’m also increasingly less surprised when this occurs, because making money is and has always been the goal for all of these ventures, regardless of how they try to do so.