#just ham. not hamm

[andorshitdaily]

Good news. There are only 124 days until Andor season two.

[mylastundeadbraincell]

rip my heart and crush it to dust why don't you

[fagulaa]

I love TSV because i was immediately locked in to what I think the characters look like on first vocal impact, and have been unswayable on this account. but the GREAT thing is that that appears to have happened to EVERYONE and we all have slight variants going on. The one near universal agreement seems to be that Faulkner is built like a series of mops and sticks super glued together.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

David Tennant and Michael Sheen on The One Show 10.7.2023 ❤ :)

(also there Zoe Saldana and Nicole Kidman, and Alex Jones and Jermaine Jenas as interviewers :))

Int1: Well, this is lovely for Wednesday, isn't it?

David: It's a lovely way to spend a Monday night, innit?

Zoe: I was excited to see you both.Likewise.

Int1: Now, Good Omens. I mean, people love the first series. It's back for a second. If there's anybody watching who didn't see the first one, they don't know what we're talking about. Go on, Michael. Fill them in.

Michael: I play an angel on Earth to do angel things.

David: I play a demon. I'm Hell's emissary on Earth.

Michael: And we decide that it's a lot easier if we team up because it saves on shoe leather. So we come to an arrangement, and then we realize that we actually quite like it on Earth, and we don't really want to deal with our respective head offices. And in season one, we save the world from the apocalypse. Season two...

David: And get excommunicated by our respective...

Michael: Yes. Exactly. So season two picks up. We're now...

David: We're at liberty.

Michael: Yeah. I'm in my bookshop, having lovely meals and watching lovely shows and hanging out with my best buddy here.

David: I'm living in my car, unfortunately, becausemy apartment came with a job.

Michael: And then John Ham turns up naked at mybookshop in Soho one day with no memory. And so the mystery begins. Int2: The plot twist. We know we've got a clip.

Nicole: I don't understand why he's [Jon Hamm] not on the couch.

Michael: Well, exactly. Nor me. I think everyone's asking the same thing.

David: Apparently it's a BBC rule you have to be clothed, so he was having none of it.

Int1: Yeah, that would push Monday over the edge. Let's see the clip.

Int2: Let's see the clip.

[familiar trailer plays, nothing new there]

Michael: When I said that line in the scene [I think I may have just started a war.], I knew it would be in the trailer. Do you know when you sometimes go, yeah, this is a trailer, and I got really nervous .I couldn't do it. Doing it over and over again.

Nicole: Well, I'm looking for something to watch. I'm watching that.

Zoe: Yes.

Int2: I like how you were like, yeah, that's the one.

Michael: On 28th.

Zoe: Okay, you watch ours and we watch yours.

Michael: Deal. We're in. We're in.

David: Yes, very good, very good.

Int1: Beautiful. This is the thing, at the heart of Good Omens is this unlikely friendship between you two, but in real life so you filmed it, you didn't know each other, and then they clicked. Look at them. They joined at the hip. They do everything...

Michael: It's true.

Int1: You even had babies at the same time.

Michael: We did.

Int1 [to David]: Your wife posted this picture of you two leaving the hospital.

David: Look how in tune we are with each other.

Michael: And now those two little babies are nearly four, and they send each other little video messages. Yeah.

David: Well, they're babies of the pandemic, so that's how they think everyone communicates.

Michael: Exactly.

Int1: Is then when you went on to do Staged together?

Michael: Yeah.

Int1 [to Zoe and Nicole]: Have you seen that?

Zoe: No.Wait a minute. What are you guys doing on stage right now? Like a tour or something?

David: No, no it's a show .

Michael: It was a TV series called Staged that we did over Zoom. So we could work from our own houses.

David: Yeah.

Michael: We've done three series.

Nicole: They're extremely clever.

Zoe: That's insane. I have to watch it.

Int2: Now, Michael, apparently you turned down the opportunity to play David's character. Arguably got a better wardrobe. Is it something that you're regretting right now?

Michael: He gets all the best clothes. No. Neil Gaiman, who wrote the book that it's based on with Terry Pratchett. I've been friends with Neil for years, and so when we first started talking about the project yeah. We sort of both kind of, for some reason, assumed that I would play this one character, and then as he started writing the scripts, I was like, that's not the character. I'm not going to play that. So I felt kind of bad about saying that to Neil, and Neil was sort of feeling, because he was thinking thesame thing, feeling bad about saying it to me. So it all came out and then eventually it made way for the Tennant to emerge.

Int1: And he came in his lovely outfit.

Michael: Yeah. And his slinky hips.

...

Int2: David.You're returning to Doctor Who. We had Catherine Tate on a couple of weeks ago.

David: Oh, yes.

Int2: o we spoke to her about it all. Now, she said it was like slipping back into a comfy pair of slippers. Was it the same for you?

David: Yeah. I mean, 15 years is quite a long time. And you do worry you won't be able to runf ast enough anymore, but...

Int1: Is it 15 years ago?

David: 15 years.

Int1: It's not, David, it can't be.

David: You're a lot older than you think you are.

Michael: I was only five when... I remember the David Tennant. I was just a little nipper.

Int2: On the Doctor Who subject. Watching... that's what inspired yo uas a child, wasn't it? Watching Doctor Who.

David: Yeah.

...

Int2: Good Omens Series Two on the 28 July on Prime Video and you can catch all three series of stage on IPlayer.

...

Int1: Let's say Nadoli Llawen.

Nicole: Yeah. [Tries]

Int1: Nadoli Llawen. Merry Christmas in Welsh.

Michael: Very good.

Int1: Michael, you can verify this. I mean, even the both of us are from South Wales, and even within 20 minutes car Journey, there'll be different dialects...

Michael: Within streets! Streets! Yeah, you can tell where someone comes from, which end of town people come from. [to Int1] I know which end of town you come from.

Int1: Say no more.

Michael: It's always been very clear, Alex.

Int1: Always very clear.

[hang-on-lil-tomato]

I guess I’m the only one….

I absolutely hated EVERYTHING about Good Omens season 2.

If you like it fine. I don’t care.

For me, it was goofy, ham handed, embarrassing, the lesbian relationship was forced, (because they like the actresses so they jammed them in) the dance was cringe, the animated colored Bentley was cringe…why is Crowley sleeping in his car anyway when he could live with Aziraphale like god intended. John Hamm was interesting in the beginning, but his sudden relationship with another character was ridiculous.

it felt like it was written by a sit com writer. My Mother the Car, and Brady Bunch levels of miscommunication and CRINGE.

Neil was likely off trying to coerce some other starry eye 20 yo into whatever it is that he does to them. Clearly Terry was the brains behind Good Omens.

I am still a fan of season 1, but I’ve watched it so many times, it’s a bit worn out for me.

I still love the fan art, because the head cannon is closer, if not spot on, to what the relationship should be.

But, I’m done with Neil and GO2 to be sure.

When his sexual escapades and abuses came to light, the whole “male feminist” mask was ripped apart. He’s just another creep who uses his fame to hurt vulnerable women.

I’m just talking about FOR ME, not you.

Don’t try to defend or explain any of it to me. It’s a severe visceral reaction. You cannot change me on this, and I can’t stomach watching that crap again.

The first season is nothing short of a MASTERPIECE, which makes the mess of season 2 very upsetting to me.

[mypointisdolphins]

I drew this these last two days in between going nuts over the intro and the new trailer. (I was told there wouldn’t be a trailer, but oh my gosh, Im so happy that there is!) I am just so ready for this sequel, like- We’ve waited four years for this, guys! Four freaking years, and it’s happening! I can’t wait to see my two favorite supernatural beings back in London and living the human life. Then, John Hamm shows up with his hams hanging out and his ‘d/ck in a box.’ I swear he’s in a window in the intro doing just that, and I’m- Anyway, Michael and David are back guys! After Staged made me snivel and cry (even if it was just acting), I’m so happy to see them working together again. Also, the new posters? Hello-! As beautiful and stunning as ever, and full of easter eggs and clues. I’m just- I am so excited for this! I’m sure you are too, Good Omens fandom! Wrapping up here for now. Stay cool, stay happy, and stay safe. Oh, and Happy PRIDE Month! 🌈

🦦: I. Am. Off. To see. My husband.

[never-forget-viva-la-pluto]

GOOD OMENS S2 SPOILERS!!!

This season of good omens is so good. List to follow:

"He's not allowed to stop the execution of 3 children bc the system that agreed to kill them has a permit" like that is the best satire I've heard since Shakespeare

Non stop foreshadowing of Beezlebub X Gabriel. Like it's so obvious so early on. Flies near him, him not wanting to kill them, it hurts to remember, you're perfect.

Aziraphel crying when he thinks he's a demon after lying is such a great first stake in the heart of solidifying that he thinks Crowley is still an angel and won't accept him as he is. More to that, it is so good at showing how that all stems from his own internalized fear. A very queer experience mirrored here...purity something something. Mr. Fell is afraid of falling.

Crowly is very cunty this season. The posts are right

AZ drives like crowley

AZ writing in his diary about his and crowleys dates like a teen girl. Bonus that it's a date to a graveyard to look at a picture of his old boss and they end up in a diseased alley and help a wee lesbian steal a corps. And still writing about it like it was a super cute date solely bc his crush got drunk and acted a fool. Same place for the Beezlebub Gabe date extra bonus

They let Tennant be scottish!

Crowley having a night rider moment

Aziraphel being genuinely in love with humanity and holding the jar close to himself in grief at the doctor's has me emotional. He really does have too much love for one tiny little angel.

Crowley having the time of his life making those two humans fall in love. He loves mischief but he hates harm. He loves to see humans happy and he only shows it when he's alone

Aziraphels debut as a Magician!

Aterik is gender envy. Don't argue with me

Mark Gatiss zombie. No I am not lying not even a little.

Crowley fell for AZ when he gave away the sword but he falls farther every time AZ does a little more good. The way he said " thank you for getting me off the hook back there" was so flirtatious and the smile when AZ knocks over shit in the Magic shop. Hats off the both actors

Old man crowley

Lmao crowley seeing the miracles don't work and deciding to speed read how not to kill his boyfriend XD

The shaky breathing as crowley aims the rifle. There is more tension in that scene than most horror I've seen.

AZIRAPALALALA

Lmao the car is a puppy

Shax being a bad bitch and not underestimating Aziraphels love for his bookshop. 10k demons is called for when sieging that place.

AZ getting things done while crowley fucks around in the back or vise versus is a common scene dynamic

AZ quoting DW trivia like tennant does.

This whole season is about how they realize how much they love each other and having a crisis about it while hell and heaven interrupt with issues regarding 1 John ham

The long running joke in the show is that all the angel's pretend they know a lot about humans as a show of power

Much more miracles and it's awesome.

Not even the seamstress is straight

Azs shop changing into a ball was so distracting to crowley that he momentarily forgot about the army of demons coming for them

John hamm fluffy coat

Crowley reading terms and agreements comes in handy several times

"Happy anniversary, love" I'm screaming and crying I am so full. This season said OK please make this queer friendly. "You're a good lad" "not either" my trans ass is so happy

Also this season is still so ace even though they kiss it still feels very ace energy to me. Maybe it's just the lack of sexualized anything, or maybe it's the variety of body's that so rarely get shown on TV.

Crowleys heaven sneak

"Stay back"

One demon popped like a bubble. There was a sound effect and everything

The bad guys always say things that fucking hurt. They always have the right thing that cut to the core of the characters soft spots

Halo removal should be in more of the fanfics actually that scene was baller

If you watch as all the heaven and hell fight AZ cannot stop staring at crowley

Crowley fixing the bookshop so it stays the same, while AZ changes it. Symbolism something parallels something

Sheen's delivery of the news to crowley was so well done. It's joyful, yet the second he has to tell crowley you can see the hesitation. He doesn't even believe what he's saying. It starts to hurt and he doesn't know why. But hes already agreed. He needed to hear the girls talk more than crowley did and it shows.no notes

ENDING THE SEASON W THE RADIO SINGING THE ENDING FROM S1 WAS PERFECT

Can't wait for S 3 !!!!!

[maineshewrote]

I-just-started-s4e2-thoughts:

Usually, when bad stuff happens to characters, I think of it as either character-building or extremely unfair. In this case it's the latter. Poor sweet Charles is being put through more than a lot of people could handle here—not only did he lose a half-life-long friend to murder, not only is the question of whether or not he should have died instead going to be raised and make him feel guilty, but he also found said friend's remains and got them all over his hands. I felt like I was watching him hold on to a hand of someone who had just been blown to pieces. He did not deserve this trauma. (All of this being said, I applaud the writers for this bold and masterfully executed move (no pun intended) and Steve Martin for portraying this delicate, complicated situation so brilliantly.)

The dedication with which Charles collects the Sazz-water is just heart-breaking. The team accomplished a very interesting feat here—this clumsy business of spilling stuff and trying to save the situation in a tense moment is usually what comedies use for low-effort humour but here it's a genuine portrayal of love.

Dead-Sazz appearing made me feel so much lighter. Her witty humour turned the overall gloom just a degree back towards the light and the feeling of everything's-gonna-be-ok-'cause-Sazz-is-here is back.

Sazz and Lucy loved sitting on the same counter. That's a nice counter.

Why does Oliver think the killer had specific access to Charles's apartment? Firstly, remember the Arcatacombs? And secondly, Sazz came in for the wine and probably didn't lock the door, thinking she'd only be a minute, so the killer could have easily waltzed in later without necessarily owning a key.

I know Tim and Ben left Mabel after their cases were solved and it's not healthy to hang on to dead people to the point of hallucinating, but I'd actually like Dead-Sazz to stick around—in a comforting fun imaginary friend way.

But if they think Charles was the target and the killer is still out there, how is it going to be safe to bring Levy over to do character study?

I am fascinated by that sweet vintage-style envelope/bag that they brought Sazz's notes in. It's definitely just something Sazz owned for no other reason than it being pretty but if that turns out to be a clue that the gang recognize much later on, I am buying cake.

I have missed Oliver's fits.

I'm interested to see where Mabel will actually end up living, but so far all I can see are good fanfiction options: bunking with Oliver (as she is) and recovering their bond that was sort of damaged last season, also throwback to season 1 where the roles were reversed; bunking with Charles and supporting him through this tough time as someone who has also lost close friends to murder and spoken to dead people; (Loretta's apartment is supposedly free now but too far for convenient sleuthing;) and Theo, I rest my case.

No idea what a "Jon Hamm and the pan situation" means but all I can think of is naked archangel Gabriel with his cardboard box.

Ho, Jan in closet!

Aha! The Arcatacombs!

I'll be honest, Jan did not disappoint—just as delightfully, self-righteously, naturally deranged and owning it as ever, loyal and moving and unintentionally hilarious. I never liked her character much up to now on account of her being sort of annoying, but I have newfound respect for her for her loyalty and her down-to-earth attitude. Also it's lovely to see familiar characters.

"Parkour." Might be my favourite line from this episode.

Hold on! There's a ham radio at the Dudenoff place! Sazz said she heard chatter on her ham radio about people wishing Charles had died instead of Ben.

Abnormal amount of pigs in this show. Obviously, now there's toilet ham and the piglet at the Dudenoff place, but we also had Fucking Pig and the "adorable little piglet" Loretta & Oliver moment in s3.

Sazz and Charles's story is so moving. Too moving to put into few enough words that you would actually have time to read.

What a genious way to get Sazz's final message across! She couldn't very well have written Charles's name to indicate who the intended victim was because that could have been interpreted as Charles being the killer, so she came up with a short, meaningful, and clear message instead. Just beautiful!

So does the number being letters mean that the Oh Hell group are all using the Dudenoff? As, what, a place to grow a pig and turn it into ham? I don't think so.

Why is the pig in the end titles floating? It unnerves me. Stop.

[tillthelandslide]

I accidentally just wrote "Adam Hamm" and now I'm dying of laughter... Like... Someone please edit Hann as a ham 🤣

[legend5911]

Bed to heart

An exciting morning in MPT where everyone is doing his/her job to make the place look beautiful. They all are very happy because after giving letters to the department from the last 3 years, now they send a new SHO to their station. Hm is extremely happy because now her workload will decrease and she can work on her character development and at last will get CR from her senior and she too can be SHO of any station.

Everything is looking good and it's time for new SHO to arrive, everyone after completing the preparation, sitting on their respective seats eagerly waiting for the new SHO to come.

Here she comes, a Jeep stops in front of station, and a 6ft lady with muscular strong arms comes out in her uniform with sexy goggles on her eyes. Everyone stood up in a line and saluted their senior.

Everyone introduces themselves, at last it was hm's turn.

"Jai hind maddam sir, haseena malik, SI of MPT reporting"

Ks nodded and stood in front of her, they both had an eye lock of 2 seconds, ks raised an eyebrow, hm did the same. Ks frowned at this, hm gives the same facial expression.

Ks smiles and says while looking at hm

"Ham hai Karishma Singh, SHO of MPT. Hamme koi matlab nhi hai kaam kaise kiya, kya kiya kyu kiya, hamare under kaam karna hai 2 cheeze dimaag Mai fir karlo, case jaldi se jaldi khatam hona chahiye jiske liye tumhe jo kaam bola jaayega usse jald se jald khatam karoge, aur doosra iss vardi pai koi daag nhi lagna chahiye, aur kooch gadbad ho jaaye toh public mai nhi aani chahiye warna ussi public mai Jeep ke peeche baand kar poore shehar ka chakar lagawayenge woh bhi hamari speed pe."

During all this conversation, both ks and hm were having eye lock, they were seeing each other's facial expressions and trying their best to make other break the eye lock and this will result in their victory in dominating other.

"Is that clear..?" Ks asked everyone said yess mam

" Go back to your work and u miss haseena, give me a visit of the whole thana including the record room and my cabin" ks said while going in another direction to pick up her stick and cap.

In record room

Hm is pinned to the wall, ks had her fingers wrapped around hm's throat and she pulled her up the ground.

"Your eyes are making me furious, if u continued your gaze, I will pull both of them out" ks warned

"Ahaan..? Don't u think I can say same lines to u" hm said with confidence.

Ks put her hand in hm's pant and inserted 2 fingers in hm, she raised an eyebrow, "wow, see what we have, a pool of precum flowing, does my words made u this horny..?" Ks asked.

"Yess you made me horny the moment u entered the mpt" hm said

"U too did the same, your curves and this hot face made me hard the moment I saw u" ks said to which hm's eyes pope out

" U have a dick..?" Hm asked

"U wanna see it..?" Ks asked

Hm nodded to which ks pulled her hand making hm fall on ground, hm sat in kneeling position after cleaning dust from arm, and she saw ks put her face near her pant and the imprint of dick was pretty visible, it was pretty big and thick, hm could say that just by seeing the imprint. Hm tried to open zip, which was a bit difficult because  it was pushing the pant away as it was growing making the pant to tore. Hm somehow managed to open that and she put her hand in boxer making her shaft to come out.

Hm gasped looking at size and thickness it was flaccid yet 9 inch long and 4 inch thick, with veins popping out making it more dangerous by looks and the mushroom head with pink tip was looking like a hammer.

Hm kissed the tip and then took the tip in her mouth making her face to stretch out. She took some length in her mouth making her to chock, and as she took almost half of it in mouth, her jaw started paining, here ks got fedup , so she took her face and started moving it in and out, in and out which made hm to moan and ks moaned as she was about to cum, after a min, ks came directly in her mouth. Hm drank each spurt and drop. Ks pulled it out and patted her head, "good girl"

Hm stood up and kissed ks passionately and stick herself to ks. She jumped on her and wrapped her legs around waist.

"I wanna have sex with u each day, or whenever one of us is horny, other will be present, just physical thing, no emotions." Hm said

"I wanna have sex with u each day, or whenever one of us is horny, other will be present, just physical thing, no emotions." Hm said

" I don't like it when anyone, gives me an order and u are my junior so never dare to do that" ks said.

" You are my senior only during job hours not after that" hm said

Ks looked at another side and after a snap of second hm was at ground having a hand printed with red ink on her cheek km looked down and pulled her up from the collar, "Haan senior kon hai ?" Ks asked

"Aap"

" Job ke. Baad bhi senior kon hai"

"Aap"

" And what I don't like ?"

" You being ordered by me"

" See how cute good girl u are, keep one more thing in your mind to always call me daddy, otherwise"

" Sure daddy"

Ks smiled and said " chalo jao abhi" and as hm turned, she received a very tight spank on her ass cheek making her tears in eyes because of heavy hand.

Hm's pov

Kya cheez milli hai aaj, badhiya. Aisa senior hona chahiye jab chahe sex karlo. Kissi din kaam na karne ka Mann karre to ilzam ispr lga do ki tumhare karn hi nhi chal pa rahe hai raat ko control kar liya karo.

But kya janwar hi milla hai, ladki chodo kissi ladke ke bhi kabhi itne heavy hand hote hai, aur chehre pe har waqt gussaa. Haan cum kaafi tasty tha aur amount bhi kaafi zada tha. Anu toh kacha khilaadi tha tik hi nhi paya hamare aage shayad ye tik jaaye, abhi Tak toh aisa lagta hai ki shayad ham khud na tok paaye karishma Singh ke aase. Ohhhhh..... Sorry sorry daddy, chaliye dekhte hai, what this new daddy do.

Ks caller hm in her cabin

"Yess daddyy"

"haseena Hamko ye pta chala hai ki tumhara CR par hamare sign honge. Mtlb agar ham chahe toh Aaj tumhe SHO bna de agar Naa chahe toh agle 10 saal tak tha raho"

"Daddy I wanna be SHO too please sign on it."

"Naah abhi nhi, abhi toh hamme bhut thakan ho rha hai, jao gate band Karo aur hamare samne nachna shuru karo"

" Ji"

She closed her door and started dancing In front of ks making her hard again

That night, ks fucked her very hard, let's go in the room where everything started.

It was around evening when ks and hm went together to hm's house. While whole ride, hm was roaming her hand on ks's pant and whole body which made ks hard. And once ks parked the car, hm ran to unlock the door and opened the door, but as she did that, ks picked her up on her hips and started kissing her passionately.

"Bedroom kha hai..?" Ks asked

"Upar jaake last room" hm said and again started kissing.

Haseena pov

While we both were reaching the bedroom, both had removed their shirts and bras in stairs.

Once we entered the room, ks threw me on her bed, and once we both removed our lower, ks jumped on me and sat on stomach, further wrapped fingers around my throat and squeezed my throat making me choak. She slapped me tightly,

"BEG !!"  She ordered

"What ?"

Again 3, 4 slaps

"BEG..!!" She ordered

"Daddy please....... Please fuck me." I begged

She moved her hands on my boobies and started massaging it making me moan, she squeezed it very tightly, I held the bedsheet very tightly making my knuckles to turn white. She pinched my nipples, they were very sensitive to her touch, I curled my toes at moan loudly.

After some playing with my boobs, she went down and entered 3 fingers making me pop out my eyes, she started in and out, in and out, in and out. I was only moaning and screaming at this. My walls started collapsing, and was about to cum when she stopped and took out her fingers and slapped my pussy 4-5 times, they were very very hard. I screamed at each. 

She stood up and pulled my head toward her dick, squeezed my face making me open my mouth and the next thing was her massive shaft in my mouth, it was just tip and i was feeling full, she pulled my head through hairs in a jerk which gave me extreme pain, almost half of her dick was in me, i was having tears in my eyes. I tapped her thighs making her know its very muchh, she ignored my taps and continued her work. After 2 mins, she pulled it out of mouth and started jerking it in front of me. In matter of seconds, she released 10 strings of her cum directly in mouth, i was about to spit it out when she closed my mouth with her hand and put her dick on my lips like we apply lipstick.

once i swallowed everything, she moved down and put her shaft in my main mart, it was about half of length when i screamed very loudly. 

"you are very tight"

next thing was like someone on drill machine in me, i was blank out unable to think anything, 

after i came 3 times, she cumed tons of load in me.

then i slept in her arms.   

Next day, when I woke up, I saw ks had left. I found it a type off movie scene and looked for the note she would have left for me. But nothing was present around me. I pout, "that's not fair"

I looked at time, it was 9:00 AM. I know I was late but no issue, now I am not the one who is only incharge of thana. So I took my time, had a bath then made breakfast. And went to MPT

As I entered,

"Jai hind haseena maddam " cc said

"Jai hind"

"Maddam aapko karishma maddam bulaa Rahi hai, unhone bole ki jab aap aao toh aapke paas bhejna"

" Okay"

I ran to her cabin

" Daddyyyyyy"

She glared at me and stood up from her seat

" Jai hind Haseena malik, SI of MPT"

"Jai hind ms" I said sadly, my whole mood got spoiled.

She went behind me and...........

Next thing was I pinned at table while her one hand in my head and other holding my both hands.

"U are late"

"Yss maddam sir"

"And what's reason"

"Because u screwed very hard and I was unable to wake up" I lied, because she was not that hard

"Ahhhhhhh......." I screamed at 2 spanks

"Now what's truth"

"I am lazy, I thought now u are present in mpt, I can go late" I said not daring to say lie again.

"So I think you should get a punishment"

"But....."

She pinched my ass cheek tightly.

I nodded, "yess daddy punish me"

"No it's ms, your senior not your daddy"

I went and closed the gate and windows. I looked at her and put both my arms around her. I made her look at me and because of height difference my dominance was increasing. I asked, " why are you getting punished ?"

"Because I am late"

"What's time now ?"

"11 AM"

"And what should be your arival time ?"

"9 AM"

" So you are late by ? "

" 2 hours"

" So for next 2 hours you will remain nude in my cabin"

" Okay maddam sir"

I sat on my seat and commanded her to remove all her clothes.

She removed all of clothes nd knelt down looking at her knees

I threw 2 files down on ground.

Complete both files and you have two hours.

"Maddam sir I will complete them in half an hour" she said with a shock expression

"Still you ha e 2 hours for it" I said this because I am the one who knows the plan

She nodded and opened the file. It was having two vibrators and a pen.

She looked up at me

"Put one in your clit and another in ass" I ordered

She fearingly put them. Once she was ready, I ordered, " you have to keep file on ground"

She moved forward almost laying on ground.

I turned on the first vibrator i.e clit one it was at slow level and I can see her rubbing her legs.

After 5 mins I increased the speed of first while turned on another. I can see her getting turned on, and her speed of writing is decreased.

I without any warning turned both on maximum, she immediately started moaning and she dropped the pen, I can see her legs shivering.

She looked up at me and said, "dadddyyy........."

"Awww poor puppy"

I can see, she is about to cum and at that moment I stopped it making her whine.

She looked at me with teary eyes, and did a whine. "Pleeaaassseee .......?"

"My poor kitten wanna cum, but she is not allowed. It's your punishment so you can't enjoy it. Now complete those file asap" I said.

She didn't argue and immediately started her work. After a minute I too increased some speed making her breath to increase and her work to slow down as her whole concentration was between her legs.

I kept the speed same for some time. It was almost 45 minutes when she looked up at me after sometime first one.

"Aww puppy completed first one ?. I think she deserves to cum. Come in my lap"

She came up and I pulled both vibrator out and entered 2 of my fingers in her. She had a pool of precum downside. I smiled at her and started moving my fingers in and out making her moan. Once she was at her edge I entered third one and started biting her neck making her cum immediately. I smiled at her and brought the fingers near her mouth she cleaned them immediately.

Then I pushed her downside, she opened the second one and looked up at me shockingly.

[birdstooth]

I’m pressed like this sushi lol

Ya so I came across an article about an actor discussing his ~physicality (I can’t name names bc his stans will put me on watchlist lmao), and it reminded me of when Jon Hamm literally went ham over ppl objectifying him in grey sweatpants and spreading rumours about how the Mad Men directors had to specifically ask him not to freeball on set bc his junk was too big or whatever.

From this Slate article

Do men realize how tone deaf they are when they say shit like this? I guess it’s pretty cold of me to have zero sympathy for him but like…

It’s the lack of insight for me fam… like ya, his feelings of discomfort are legit but he’s speaking as if he’s so shocked and stunned and affronted that something like this could happen to him, an Actor.

Rly?? u have truly never heard of this happening before? Like, not from any of the many female co-stars u have worked with?? Or just like, as a general issue that women have in the workplace??

Why are u saying “part of the deal” as if u aren’t aware of the fact that ppl have been using the “don’t be famous/act/go out in public/been seen if u can’t handle public scrutiny about your appearance” line on women since before u were born? My brother in Christ there was even a Marilyn Monroe storyline in Mad Men lol.

The fact that this incident is newsworthy to him and worth bringing up as a talking point speaks volumes bc I feel like an actress in the same boat wouldn’t be able to do the same w/o experiencing severe backlash��I mean, ppl would automatically be like “Mamma Mia, here we go again 🙄🙄🙄”

And it’s always a lose-lose situation when women try to contribute to the body image discourse

Eg: a “conventionally attractive” Hollywood actress mentions how difficult it is to meet the film industry’s standard of beauty

Response: shut up Margot Robbie/ScarJo!! it’s not your place to talk about this!! U are obviously a 10 so stop lying about having image issues 🙄

Eg: an attractive but not “Hollywood attractive” actress

Response: shut up Amy Shumer/Mindy Kaling!! Why are u complaining about how u are size 6/8/10/whatever when the average person is a size 12/14/16!! Stop acting like u are fat for attention 🙄🙄

It’s like on one hand, ppl who “have nothing to complain about” are shamed for discussing their insecurities, but then when “plus size” actresses (who may or may not actually be plus sized) visibly lose weight, everyone is like “wow, way to give in to the industry standards!! U are letting down other women!! U should just embrace being fat and take one for the team!!”

Anyway do u guys this I guessed this book correctly or

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Let’s meet the woman of the hour!

*As then the door opens*

Okay everyone, Ibuki is all set - you all can see her now...

'Ibuki...? Is that you, we heard you awaken.'

*types down* 'Yo guys, happy to see you all! Yeah doing really great actually!'

'But Ibuki was told she can't hear or speak, bummer dude as I did pride on my hearing y'know, still not sure what happen there...'

'Yeah we heard, sorry about that...'

'Yeah but don't worry, we are gonna work on sign language and help you out, we promise.'

'Awesome awesome, that's super cool of ya guys! I just-'

?! *As then Ibuki stares at someone...*

...

'DAFAFSDFPDSFWLFDPOFAS!!! HAMM HARWDS! HAM HANDS HAS RETUUUURN TO USSSSS!!!'

'Well happy to see you as well, Ibuki - it's still nice that you gave me a name after my suppose death.'

'You bet I did, I seriously miss ya! Also I see Teruteru, Mahiru and Peko too! Heya guys, happy to see you back from the brink of death. Did you all get to meet the shinigami and offer you an apple?'

*As then Nagi does sign language* Hello Ibuki, it's good to see you alive and well!

'Yes same here and Ibuki; I do want to apologize for what happen...'

'I'm sorry for starting this whole killing game; I know it wasn't fair you all had to deal with that but I just-.'

'Yo man, you don't need to apologize; sounds like you miss your folks and I think we all get like that so it's all cool.'

'But hey hey, just happy to hear from you guys again, I did miss you!'

*Nagi does hand signs* Same here Ibuki, welcome back.

Wow... seems despite being mute and deaf; she seems the same as always, well at least she's okay now.

Yeah despite losing the arm and everything, she seems to act the same!

Yeah - seriously things have gotten so moody; it's nice to lighten things up.

But given who's coming up next, I'm rather nervous how bad it will get...

Yeah but let's focus on Miss Mioda right now, Masuyo.

Right, of course.

[elentary]

What if the first scene of S3 is the fall?

I thought about that too in another post:

..and I made myself sad (probably I'm lucky that not many people see my blog or I would have been murdered by a lot of them, if I didn't hurt them too badly to incapacitate them before).

And it would be interesting to see Aziraphale's point of view too. Even if he had fought in the War, is always "polite" towards demons, unless they assault his bookshop (yes, he thinks angels are superior and I think that's due to heaven's indoctrination).

I'd like to see Aziraphale understand, little by little, that Heaven is toxic, like Crowley had told him, but I want the angel fight to build a better world, using something his demon had said.

Maybe a world where angels and demons could choose whatever they want to be and do. A world of shades of greys (or multiple colours) and not just "black or white".

Why do I like the idea of Aziraphale and Crowley fixing* things? Because I want to see that it is possible to change a broken system and make a better one. (*Fix for me could mean many things, including throwing away the broken stuff and building a better one).

For Jesus's coming, I want the majestic John Hamm back. I want to see the Annunciation in its full glory. To me it would be hilarious seeing Gabriel delivering the divine news to Mary starting with "be not afraid" (with John hamming his act the whole time) and the girl responding with a "WTF", followed by her throwing every item she could find in a five meter radius against the dumbfounded archangel.

The strikes unfortunately aren't still over but it looks like we are seeing some sunshine behind the thick clouds: let's hope the artist soon will get what they asked for (fingers crossed here).

What if the first scene of S3 is the fall?

No, see, it makes sense, cuz S1 was them meeting for the first time after the fall, which sets the tone for their friendships, but also does a fantastic job of setting up their characters. Crowley questions things, even the Ineffable plan, and Aziraphale is giving, even risking falling to help humans, but still has unwavering faith in God's plan.

S2 was them meeting for the first time ever, and shows the beginning of their character development, as Crowley starts asking questions, a little recklessly, because the beauty of Creation (the beauty of something they created together, if you'll allow me) is at risk and the beginning of Aziraphale's toxic relationship which heaven, which actually stems from his desire to protect Crowley, as he tries to fix the problem by trying to reinforce the rules and their positions in the hierarchy (It's not our place to question the Almighty). It establishes their character flaws, which will eventually cause their separation at the end of the season. Crowley tends to be reckless, wants quick solutions to problems, and Aziraphale wants the system to work because it's all he's ever known.

So, why the fall in S3? I think it'll make a neat parallel. S2 ends with their last separation, and S3 starts with their first separation. But also, it would show their relationship fundamentally changing forever, the barrier between them being erected, and show how they grow into their flaws. It would link the S1 opening with the S2 opening, both thematically and chronologically, and be in keeping with Good Omens style of starting with important Biblical moments to raise philosophical questions.

A lot of people think it might start with them meeting Jesus. While I would LOVE to see that, I don't think that's gonna happen, simply because Good Omens always starts with a scene of the two of them together, and as established in S1E3, Aziraphale and Crowley were never with Jesus at the same time (Aziraphale asks Crowley is he's ever met him). (And also because, if it does indeed start like this, with Aziraphale and Crowley separate, and not together, I will-- well, I'm sure most people would relate to what I feel here :'))

Anyway, from what I remember, Neil Gaiman has already written the opening for the third season, so we just have to wait and see for now. And support the strikes

[fiftytwotwentythree]

Wellness Wednesday:

What Is This New Found Feeling?

Well, I knew I had a lot of potential weight I could lose, but I did not think I would lose it so fast - 34 pounds in 53 days.

I am seeing and feeling the benefits. Clothes fit better - I am almost to a point where I have to contemplate changing my wardrobe and updating my Amazon wishlist when it comes to better fitting clothes.

I have more flexibility - I feel it in the most simplest of tasks: scratching my own back, rough-housing, even just working around my desk.

I even feel like my snoring has been alleviated.

But - I am still very much a pessimist and I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop and I am shocked that my weightloss has kept chugging along so well.

When will I plateau?

Can I hold off the cravings?

How will I stay motivated?

It's still so early.

Just the other day I wrote a meal wishlist - food I am dying to have - I've told myself when this year is over I can go hamm on some Burritos, Nachos, and Pizza - but hopefully by then I can find a happy medium between maintaining my health and enjoying life.

.

.

8th CHECK-IN:

Current Goals:

Long Term:

Lose 52 lbs

Avoid "Junk Food"

Minimize Take-Out / Fast Food Consumption

Short Term:

Starting Wednesday 2/22/2023 - Trying a Vegetarian-ish Diet:

- No Meat (Meat, Poultry, Fish)

- Dairy, Eggs, Animal Fat/Lard (Tortillas), Animal Stock/Broth (Soups) are Fine

End Date: 4/09/2023 - 46 Days Total

.

.

Meal Tracker:

THURSDAY

Lunch:

Hot Ham & Swiss on Toast

(1) Beef Stick

Handful of Wonderful's Salt & Vinegar Pistachios

Supper:

Hot Ham & Swiss on Toast

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

FRIDAY

Lunch:

Large Plate of Leftover Ham Fried Rice

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

Snack:

(2) Beef Sticks

(1) Small Orange

Supper:

Hot Ham & Cheese Sandwich

SATURDAY

Lunch:

Large Plate of Leftover Ham Fried Rice

Small Bowl of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese

(1) Glass of Milk

Snack:

(2) Beef Sticks

(1) Small Orange

Bag of Orville Redenbacher Ultimate Butter Popcorn

Supper:

Can of Progresso Lasagna Style Soup

- 7 Crackers

SUNDAY

Lunch:

Thick 24oz Seasoned Ribeye Steak

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

Snack:

(1) Small Orange

Bag of Orville Redenbacher Ultimate Butter Popcorn

Supper:

Cranberry Walnut Salad

(1) Glass of Milk

MONDAY

Lunch:

Chef Salad

Snack:

Handful of Wonderful's Salt & Vinegar Pistachios

Balanced Breaks (Sharp Cheddar, Cashews, Dried Cranberries)

Supper:

Bowl of Asian Salad

(1) Small Orange

TUESDAY

Lunch:

Bowl of Leftover Asian Salad

Handful of Wonderful's Salt & Vinegar Pistachios

Balanced Breaks (Sharp Cheddar, Cashews, Dried Cranberries)

Supper:

Bowl of Cesaer Salad (No Chicken)

Handful of Wonderful's Salt & Vinegar Pistachios

(1) Small Orange

WEDNESDAY

Lunch:

Large Bowl of Leftover Cesaer Salad (No Chicken)

Handful of Wonderful's Salt & Vinegar Pistachios

Supper:

Birds Eye Veggie Mac & Cheese (made from Zucchini and Lentils)

(5) Baby Carrots

Handful of Wonderful's Salt & Vinegar Pistachios

(1) Small Orange

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

.

.

Workouts:

THURSDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 Sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

FRIDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 Sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

SATURDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

SUNDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

MONDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 Sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

TUESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [5 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [1 Set]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

WEDNESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 Sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

.

.

WEIGHT TRACKER:

Starting Weight (Noon, 1/01/2023): XXX.X lbs

Weight at Last Check-In, 2/15/2023: -3.2 lbs

Weight As of Noon, 2/22/2023: -4.4 lbs

Total Weight Loss: -34.2 lbs

.

.

Closing Thoughts:

The Good:

Found an alternative for squats (glute bridges) due to knee pain. Still early stages, but seems like a great alternative.

34 pounds down - 18 pounds to go.

The Bad:

It's been 1 day on the Vegetarian-ish diet and already having regrets.

The Ugly:

Besides knee pain when I sit, stand, walk down stairs, dance - I got no complaints.

[memecucker]

Also on the topic of Steamed Hams i got curious about what the etymological ink is, if any, between “ham” and “hamburger”. 

“Ham” as in a type of pork meat comes from Anglo-Saxon (funfact words pertaining to livestock are often directly from Anglo-Saxon though the meanings may have changed. One interesting exception is that the word ‘cattle’ actually comes from “chattel” or ‘property’ in Norman/French. The Anglo-Saxon word for cattle was feoh which is where the modern English word ‘fee’ comes from. In both cases you can see how ownership of livestock especially cows reflects the importance of owning herds as a symbol of wealth, anyway) and more specifically ‘ham’ comes from the Anglo-Saxon word for the inside of the knee which is more or less the part of a pig youre referring to when you talk about a ham roast.

Now for “hamburger” obviously it comes from the German port city of Hamburg and there’s some debate about whether the modern idea of a hamburger steak or the hamburger sandwich was developed in America or Germany no one argues that the term wasnt coined after the city of Hamburg.  The etymology of “Hamburg” or in older medieval sources Hammaburg is obvious with the second part since “burg” means castle or fortress however the “ham” or “hamm” part isnt as clear. One theory is that it derives from the Old High German word for “hamma” which means angle or bend and Hamburg is located on a bend of the River Elbe.

If we go with the theory that “Hamburg” originally meant “(river)bend-fortress” then this is where the etymologies actually link up. “Ham” in Anglo-Saxon referring to the inside of the knee (not just for pigs but for any creature including people) would show a clear etymological link with a more general Germanic term referring to a bend or angle. 

[sohannabarberaesque]

Postcards from Snagglepuss (Minnesota State Fair edition)

So much for "practical" souvenirs

And they seem to be in abundance at many a Minnesota State Fair booth--especially when it's free. Bag clips, buttons, pens, pencils, styluses, refrigerator magnets, Post-It notepads, even more conventional notepads! And of the latter, there's easily the possibility of using the reverse side of each sheet for impromptu autograph sessions, aling with a souvenir pen in service to the appeasement of fans.

But on the other hand, over in Creative Activities, you can't help but find alongside the kitschy "miracle" gadgets supposedly aimed at making housework easier one stand selling that Norwegian potato flatbread known as lefse--of which I've purchased a few packets on occasion for simple lunches, and maybe for rollup sandwiches impromptu with deli luncheon meat, especially for the road ahead. (Still, though, someone mentioned to me that a few supermarkets in the Upper Midwest, especially where a Norwegian immigrant presence is obvious, sell lefse in the refrigerator case ... and perhaps the best brands they'd recommend are Norseland, which is made in Rushford, Minnesota, and Aunt Julia's. The worst, hands down, for some reason: Countryside, coming out of Blair, Wisconsin. And from what I hear, Norseland Lefse uses real potatoes, which explains their texture and taste.)

And another such selling soup mixes as are somehow Southern in concept--chicken tortilla, chicken and rice, plantation soup, that sort of schtick. Which might be worth bringing along on the trip outward, heading back to the Artificial Waters of Artificial Lake Delton whence Crazy Claws keeps his quarters, his retreat even, along its shores (and do spare us, even if it's coming across your mind right now, that faux-Indian-melody of "From the Land of Sky-Blue Waters," as in Hamm's Beer even! Over at the ur-diver's camp with the Three Wolves, it was mostly sun tea, bottled mineral water, soda and not much else, not even near beer, come to think of it....)

Oh, and let's not forget one stand selling campy Minnesota-themed souvenirs fond of selling Cream of Wild Rice Soup mix, as if that were a Minnesota necessity with some diced ham, turkey even, not to mention ciabatta rolls warmed over. Or maybe even that Indian flatbread known as naan ... brioche rolls, Hawai'ian sweet rolls even? Few packets of those wild rice soups there, which, like those other soup mixes just mentioned beforehand, could be worth sharing at Crazy Claws' retreat over the impending autumn.

I just hope Crazy Claws has a decent-sized soup kettle, maybe a slow cooker, for all that soup mix, especially on Sunday afternoons which could get rather brilliant and at once crisp weather-wise. Especially uppermost in my mind as I put them in my ur-camper, otherwise known as a Mini Cooper, ahead of departure once the fair ends.

But more about this in my usual Wednesday spiel.

*************

@warnerbrosentertainment @hanna-barbera-land @warnerbros-blog1 @nighttimehound @screamingtoosoftly @jellystone-enjoyer @thylordshipofbutts @hanna-barberians @wackology @restroom @stuffaboutminnesota @xdiver71 @straights-world @hanna-barbera-blog @cottoncandy-wannabe @thebigdingle @themineralyoucrave @theweekenddigest